Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Shatterstar is fairly certain he may be dying from blood loss (something he had always assumed was below him and his healing factor) but in all honesty, that's not what he's thinking about right now. Even with his eyes closed, he recognises him — he recognises him smelling like the Earth after it's been raining, and the gentle way that only he holds and touches him, and how his hand felt holding his, and even the way he breathes — so of course he knows whose arms he's in.

He can hear people talking, but can't make out any words they're saying. There's only one voice he puts effort into deciphering.

"I've got you, 'Star."

Shatterstar feels another hand gently move under his head as the previous one pulls away, and he smiles. He already knew, but his voice is unquestionable proof.

"Julio. How… How did you find me?" He asks, his voice as weak as his whole body. He should probably be scared somewhat, but Julio's got him. No matter how this ends, it's going to end while he's being held by Julio, and that's all Shatterstar wants out of any end — from a movie he's watching to his day to his life.

Julio's reply feels like a bunch of words that aren't meant to be together being put together, but Shatterstar is able to understand just enough of it to weakly laugh, and tell him, "You… You were right, Ric." He struggles to open his eyes — he doesn't think he can stay conscious for much longer, and this might be his last chance to see him. "Despite it all…" His vision is blurred, so Julio mostly just appears to him as a blob of brown vaguely in the shape of his face. Keeping his eyes even slightly open is a struggle, so he quickly gives up, disappointed. "You and I have always been on the same wavelength."

Then, he passes out.

Chapter Text

He wakes up in his own bed, in his own room. Everything's just as it was when he left, except for the chair next to his bed that Julio is sitting in, his phone in his hand.

"Julio," Shatterstar automatically whispers.

His voice seems to surprise him. He jolts at first before looking over at him. Finally, Shatterstar can see him properly, and he looks just as beautiful as he remembers. "Hey, dude," he replies, a small smile making its way onto his face. He turns his phone off and places it in his jacket’s pocket.

"I have missed you calling me that," Shatterstar tells him, as if it were a sweet nickname. Julio looks away but continues smiling, so Shatterstar hopes they haven't ruined it. Again. "I thought I was dying," they say to break the silence.

"From losing a bit of blood?" Julio asks, "You need to get back to being a cocky asshole."

"I have never been a cocky asshole,” Shatterstar argues.

"Yeah, you have,” he insists, a small laugh in his voice, “I used to think it was hot."

"And now?"

Rictor opens his mouth like he's going to reply, then looks away, his smile gone. This time, Shatterstar thinks, they have ruined it. They wait but don't get an answer. Instead, they get, "I… maybe when— maybe we should have this conversation when you're not still recovering from a near-death experience."

"So, never?" Julio's smile slowly starts to return. Shatterstar doesn't think anybody else has ever found them humorous. Finding them funny is different, but Julio is the only person who they know for certain is laughing with them. They reach out and take his hand in theirs. "Julio… I love you."

"'Star…" Julio whispers.

"I simply want to be your friend," he tells him.

"...Then why did you kiss me?"

"You kissed me, too," Shatterstar reminds him.

" 'Star. " Rictor takes his hand away.

"Because I love you."

"You’ve said that already. And then you said you only want to be friends."

"I do not desire to be in a relationship if you do not, also. But I still want to be with you, Julio, and I am content with doing that in any way you, too, are content with. I am capable of loving you in more ways than one," they tell him.

For a moment, Rictor thinks about telling them "I love you, too", but he can’t bring himself to, instead settling for "okay" and holding his hand back out.

Shatterstar recognises what he wants and places his own hand in his.