Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Now you might say following Rodrigo Borgia is probably not the best idea he’s had, but he’s decided that "fuck it" is going to be his new mantra in this odd afterlife.

So, follow Rodrigo it is, he’s led out of the vault with most of the guards, the rest stayed behind to see if anything else happens in the vault. No one speaks a word, but they send his curious and wary gazes.

The captain in particular keeps a eye on him, and a hand on his sword.

While they're walking, he takes time to think, it's odd his arm looks melted but he's in no pain and all his motor functions work. They do feel a little strange… all of him feels a little strange, now that he notices is he shorter? 'Why the hell am I shorter? How did I not notice I'm way smaller than the guards? What the fuck, I liked my height and what am I wearing??'.

The white robe, a Roman toga he realizes has faint good trim and is the brightest white he's ever seen… and he has no shoes. Great.

"Oh, this would be worth so much if i could sell  it."

They turn a corner to climb stairs, when they reach the top he recognizes the inside of the Sistine Chapel, but it's eerily quiet as there are no monks or priests in sight. It would be quiet with them here but there is a noticeable lack of footsteps, mumbled prayers, and the rustling sound of clothes.

When all of them exit into the main room the captain posts two guards to stay by the stairs and for the rest to take Desmond into a small side room.

While he's being led to the room, he hears Rodrigo and the captain start planning guard watches and where to find an interpreter for Desmond.

In the room they close the door and show him to a bench, happily sitting on the side of the room. Plopping down because he was more tired than he realized. It's a bit of a tight fit in the room though, with him and the 4 guards. It seems to be a prayer room of some sorts.

He listens to their conversations at ease, as the guards group in the corner by the door but still keeping him in their sights at all times. They talk about unimportant things for a few minutes like "what if more comes out of the vault?" Or "What happened to his arm?" And "what even is he?"

' I thought this would be more eventful, what to do… what to do… eh I might as well mess with Rodrigo. Or… see if I can… kill him… a second time I'm already dead what could it hurt?'.

Standing up to get their attention he starts speaking in English “You!" he shouts pointing at the closest guard to him, they stumble back not expecting Desmond to yell, crackling in his head he continues.

"Bring me substance or I shall strike you down" the poor man looks so confused not understanding what he's saying but understanding the demanding tone. 'I should have asked for boots; my feet are getting cold… well it's not like he understood me in the first place' he thinks scoffing. 

Saying the same thing but this time he flails his arms wildly, almost hitting a guard in the face. The guard in question has the most priceless look on his face, it's as if he's constipated but also about to shit his pants.

'I think he blew a fuse and why am I shorter than all of them' but before I have to worry about him exploding Rodrigo comes in, the captain waiting outside because there's no more room.

Rodrigo gives him a glance seeing he wasn't harmed he turns his back to Desmond and scolds the guard, Rodrigo is but a few inches away.

'Yes, now you will die…' But then he realizes 'shit Fucker, I don't have my hidden blade or any weapons, I can't just strangle him… guess I will have to improvise' looking around he figures trying to get ahold of a guard's weapon right now is probably not the best idea.

But then he spies a hefty metal candlestick on a small table next to him. 'Well, that was easier than normal'. the old candle rests beside it, looks like whoever was here before was about to change the candles, a new one also sits on the table ready to replace the melted one.

Tuning back to the conversation in front of him it seems that the guard that was being scolded is now arrested, he's led out of the room by two of the guards leaving Desmond with only Rodrigo, the captain and one guard.

'Perfect timing' he thinks with glee.

Grabbing the candlestick when Rodrigo turns to face Desmond, he jumps him and tries beating him in the eyes; he somehow manages to block with his arm in a show of speed that surprised Desmond. But it doesn't matter, he keeps beating him like a deranged beast.

Hitting the arms, snap of a wrist,

shoulders, sounded like a collarbone,

chest, ribs,

And a few to the top of his head, dropping with him as he passes out,

Blunt trauma is no joke.

When guards finally break out of their surprise, running forward to pull him off, he's already made a bloody mess and gets in a lot more hits by the time he has to back off because they decide to use daggers and his life doesn't matter if Rodrigo is dead.

Hopping off Rodrigo when the one guard 'Let's call him Jeff, the one guard is to complicated' tries stabbing him in the back, Desmond whirls around and thunks him in the head with the candlestick his helmet ringing like a bell as he falls to the ground.

Taking a moment to look back in satisfaction at Rodrigo, blacks and blues spreading throughout his body. He lays like he's already dead to the world and honestly Desmond would be surprised if he survived.

Turning back around and blocking a short sword to the head with the candlestick, he kicks the captain in the stomach and dives for Jeff's dagger.

Getting a hold of it just in time as both guards recover, he runs out the door that was left open… right into the two that were watching the stairs earlier 'the must have heard the commotion' Now armed with a candlestick and a dagger he attacks the two as they pull out long swords.

'This really isn't ideal more will probably show up soon from the sound' Desmond thinks with a grimace. 

Just then Jeff comes through the door of the small room 'captains probably trying to save Rodrigo.' 

Distracted with his own thoughts he didn't see the crossbowmen on the second story firing an arrow at his side.

Schnick.

Pain.

            Pain? 

    Warm…

                           Blood

Blood?  Pain? 

Gasping he grabs for the arrow sticking out from his side but stops at the last moment from pulling it out.  

'What the fuck? what the fuck! Hurts… so bad it shouldn't hurt!!'

It's only instincts this time that save him from being decapitated, almost a hair too slow. more arrows fly and he's struggling to move out of the way with the guards still surrounding him.

Dodging another attack, he throws the candlestick at the two in front of him and turns running at Jeff. He manages to stab him in the arm and shove him down again, then straining Desmond jumps from the door frame grabbing onto the overhang for the next floor. Getting up is a struggle because he still has a you know a arrow sticking from his side, but he continues climbing.

Once he's up he rolls dodging a arrow then he bolts full tilt at the archer as they fire another arrow grazing his right arm before he takes them down with a clatter of armor, they fight back but can't stop the knife from going into their throat.

Quickly looting him while he has the chance, he takes all the coins, a better knife, and his short sword.

' Shit I hope this is not my afterlife, none of this is supposed to be Real… but… if it is I need to live, I need to survive, this could be my chance' running through the halls he starts to hear the alarm bells ringing.

       'Well shit.'

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