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English
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Part 11 of 'Cause you mean more than anything (YOTP)
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Published:
2023-07-14
Completed:
2023-08-11
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5,013
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3/3
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Double Take

Chapter 2

Notes:

This one grew a mind of its own, so now you get some chapters!

For anyone who cares, this fic comes chronologically after my fill for August, which should be posted to the series next week. This timeline didn't really matter until the surprise chapters started coming, so don't be surprised if I flip the series order around a little for these two.

Chapter Text

Steph didn’t have access to the Zeta beams. This became extremely unfortunate in the amount that it limited her pranking abilities, although there was certainly plenty to be done with Robin’s true identity remaining a secret.

“Dear Justice League,” she narrated, using her most flowery handwriting. “Thank you so much for the card! If you notice Batman’s cape shimmering more than usual, know that it was inspired by your extensive use of glitter glue.”

“No,” Tim said. He was video calling in from home, where Mr. Drake had him on lockdown ever since he’d discovered his son was parading around Gotham dressed in an armored circus costume.

“What are you gonna do about it?” Steph laughed. “Dick already agreed to be my alibi.”

“As if Bruce will believe that for a second,” Tim sighed with almost enough drama to hide his amusement.

Steph stuck out her tongue in retaliation to his valid point and turned back to her letter. “I would love to meet you all in person one day, but for now Batman believes I am safer as an unknown, and I must agree with him. Thanks for putting up with this Grumpy Gus for me! It’s good for him to have friends. Love, Robin.”

She held up the card to her phone camera, wishing she owned a personal laptop or something instead of just her old phone and access to the unsecured school computer lab. “What do you think?”

“It’s tacky,” Tim said, eyeing the neon pink construction paper she’d snuck out from the school office and the glittery rainbow stickers she’d dug out of the bottom of her junk drawer. “I like how you dotted the ‘i’ with a little heart.”

“Classic,” Steph agreed.

“How are you going to get it to them?”

“Easy,” she said. “Nightwing.”

Tim’s face dropped out of view and his image shuddered. Steph assumed he was flopping dramatically back on his mattress. “Who let the two of you meet?” he moaned. “I’d like to have a few words.”

“You did, idiot,” Steph smirked. “Gonna go back in time and punch yourself in the face?”

“At this rate I just might.”
…

For the next letter, Steph decided to cut out the middleman and duct taped a large, garish, red, yellow, and green card to the roof of a bus destined for Metropolis. SUPERMAN AND FRIENDS, she wrote on the front in big, bold letters.

Dear Justice League,

My dearest Batman will never tell you, but he is an absolute sucker for chocolate. Cookies, brownies, pretzels, you name it! If it has chocolate on or in it, you can set it in any strategic location and watch as he subtly inches in that direction and makes at least three disappear under his cape. It’s hilarious.

Have fun!

Robin

PS you didn’t hear this from me.

Several days later, Steph found Batman sitting in the cave and munching on a handful of chocolate covered pretzels.

“Why do you think the League is suddenly setting out snacks everywhere?” he growled, almost like a threat.

“No idea, boss,” Steph shrugged. “Can I have one?”

Batman’s grip on his snack tightened just a bit. “Go ask Agent A.”

Steph rolled her eyes. “Whatever you say.”

…

Being Robin felt something like being a baby dragon might. Steph could jump rooftops, grapple across the city, and use fancy new kickflips to her heart’s content; all she had to do was stay in Mama Batman’s territory and return to the nest every once in a while to check in. If anyone harmed her, she knew fury like never before would rain down on their heads.

After all, everyone had seen Batman after the second Robin died. The Joker was lucky he could still move.

“Raah!” Steph yelled, jumping down from a small shop’s roof onto a crook and simultaneously knocking his buddy on the forehead with a Birdarang. “Take that!” They thought they’d been leaving quietly, but she’d clocked them fifteen minutes ago already. Suckers.

“Hey!” Their useless lookout attempted to join the fight, but Steph hit the woman with a swift uppercut to the jaw and she went down hard.

Steph stood still and breathed for a minute while the hapless cashier slowly crawled out from behind the cash register. “Thank you.”

“All in a night’s work,” she grinned just as her earpiece buzzed. “Okay, gotta get back to my partner. Bye!” She swooped off, leaving the gaping cashier behind—his poorly hidden phone wouldn’t have gotten a good image of her, but hopefully he’d recorded the audio for the Justice League’s gossiping pleasure.

“Robin,” Batman said just as she alighted on his rooftop. “I know what you’re doing.”

“What?” She blinked up at him innocently. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Hn,” Batman said and turned away, which was basically permission as far as Steph was concerned. She did an internal fist pump and fought hard to keep from doing a little victory dance where he could see.

Instead, she tapped her earpiece discretely to change the channel. “Nightwing,” she whispered, “Plan Cock-a-doodle-doo is go.”

…

Steph watched giddily from the Batcave, ratty pajama pants on and popcorn bucket ready, as Nightwing’s mask cam displayed the Justice League HQ.

The first person she saw turning around a sterile white corner was Green Lantern, whistling a cheery tune as he walked through the hall. “Hey, Lantern,” Nightwing’s voice crackled into the speaker.

“Nightwing! How’s it going, man?”

“I’ve been alright,” Nightwing replied. “Robin’s been having a tough time lately, but we’ve all been trying to support him.”

Green Lantern visibly did a double take when he registered what Nightwing had said. “Uh.. glad to hear it. By the way—”

“Well, I’ve got something to discuss with Batman. See you in the meeting,” Nightwing cut him off cheerfully and the screen swept around until Green Lantern was out of view.

“...Sure,” Steph heard faintly, and bit back her giggles as Nightwing continued on into the main hall.

“Nightwing!” Flash called, appearing out of nowhere.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Oh, nothing much,” Flash waved a hand dismissively. “How are you and the family? Is Robin doing okay?”

Nightwing laughed. “Yeah, just a couple days ago she took down some crooks like a regular pro. I’d say she’s doing fine.”

As he spoke, Aquaman had begun edging into the frame. Steph could still only see half his face when he joined the conversation. “In my years as a leader I have learned that physical performance does not always mean mental peace. Are you sure Robin is faring well after the difficulties Batman confided in us?”

“Well,” Nightwing sounded like he was giving the matter some thought. “Things with his Dad still haven’t cleared up entirely, but I do think he’s doing better than he was.”

Aquaman and Flash shared a bewildered look, and both turned back to Nightwing with questions written all over their faces. Before anything more could be said, Superman called the meeting to order and Nightwing hastily turned off his cam.

Steph pouted. Just because Justice League meetings were always top secret didn’t mean he had to ruin her fun!

“Miss Brown?”

She whirled around and came face-to-face with Alfred Pennyworth, the world’s most distinguished butler. “Yeah?”

“I seem to recall Master Tim has secured permission from his father for visitors. Perhaps you would appreciate a lift next door.”

Steph’s mouth curled into an involuntary little smile. If she couldn’t watch Dick confuse the League, hanging out with Tim in person might be the next best thing. “Sure, Alfred. Let me get my jacket.”

“As you say.”

…

“Fired!” Steph raged over the phone as she strapped on her Spoiler costume once again. Screw Batman, this one had always been more comfortable anyway. “Can you believe that? For disobeying orders? Ha! As if no one’s ever done that before.”

“I mean…”

“Shut up, Tim,” she said. “I’ve got a plan and I’ll prove him wrong.”

“Steph—”

“You can keep Robin. I don’t even want it back, and I’m sure your Dad will let you go eventually. Spoiler is clearly the superior option, and Babs has my back anyway.”

“Steph—”

“Nope! Bye Tim!” She hit the End Call button before he could get in another word and threw open her window, grabbing a few supplies and climbing up to her rooftop. Once there, she finally filled the helium balloons she’d been saving, all in red, yellow, and green, of course. She tied a tag to each balloon containing a part of the coded message, then secured all the balloons together around a cheap children’s recording device she’d gotten for $1 at a thrift store.

Steph inhaled a couple breaths of helium before hitting the Record button. “Hey Justice League,” she said, high and squeaky and unidentifiable, “Superman! This is Robin and boy do I have some news for you! Can you figure it out?”

She knew they would. She’d made the code pretty simple, and even if they weren’t good enough detectives to figure out that Batman and Robin weren’t actually dating, they were certainly smart enough for this.

Steph set the recording to repeat every few seconds and gleefully let the handful of balloons lift the recorder into the sky, hopefully to be found by Superman soon enough. As it flew away above her head, Steph’s eyes caught on a bulky silhouette on a rooftop nearby, not the right shape to be Batman.

Ah, well, what the heck.

“Red Hood!” she shouted. The figure turned her way. “Get ready for the fireworks to begin!”

With a cackle, she grappled away into the night. The balloons were only step one in her revenge plan, after all. The Gotham crime families wouldn’t know what hit them.

…

Bat Speculation League
August 8

Green Arrow: BATMAN IS A FURRY

Flash: idk whats gotten into robin lately but i am the biggest robin fan

Aquaman: The advice has been highly entertaining to follow

Superman: You’re not the ones who panicked about a possible threat and only found balloons

Flash: its just like that movie except instead of a house it was a robin prank flying in the sky lol

GL: I think I took some moderate psychic damage when we decoded the message though…. Batman is a furry?

Vixen: Batman is a furry! Lol Robin isn’t wrong!

MM: Based on the definition I have been provided, I’m not sure this information is accurate…

Cyborg: Trust me @MM it almost certainly isn’t but… it is a very close comparison

Aquaman: Does this not also make Robin a furry?

Flash: pfffffff lol adlkfjdl;

Hawkgirl: Wait. Yes. Oh my gosh.

Vixen: Haha why didn’t we think of that??

GL: My favorite is still the letter about the chocolate snacks…

Superman: Me too

Hawkgirl: I didn’t even see him take those cookies the other day, he just swooped past and then boom! Plate empty

Superman: No one can resist the Kent family cookies

GL: Yeah yeah we all know he liked yours the best, no need to rub it in

Vixen: I think that discovery lowers his intimidation factor from like… infinity to only a billion

Green Arrow: Wow it’s almost like he’s actually a guy under all that costume

Cyborg: His file in the system does identify him as human, at least

GL: Yeah but so does mine so how much does that mean, really

MM: No matter the precise biology or powers of our teammate, it is nice to get to know him better as a man rather than only as a hero

Superman: Agreed.

Vixen: Remember the note about putting him on kid duty? It totally worked? Why is Batman so good with little kids???

Flash: Batgirl duh. It’s so cute!!

Hawkgirl: Weird as it sounds, maybe he was a decent dad

Green Arrow: Nope I still can’t see it.

Cyborg: My favorite was when Robin spammed his comm with Call Me Maybe during our meeting loud enough for everyone to hear

MM: Indeed, Batman’s expression was quite amusing

Flash: maybe if by amusing you actually mean terrifying

Green Arrow: This most recent one with the furry still wins I’d say

Aquaman: I have been enjoying getting to see more of Robin with these practical jokes. I did not realize she had such a sense of humor

GL: She? He? They? Why does Nightwing keep switching all the time?

Vixen: non binary?

Flash: but he does it like between sentences when they havent even talked or seen each other? but then other times its consistent for like a whole day?

Cyborg: No idea.

MM: Perhaps someone should simply ask Batman

[Flash is typing…]

[Vixen is typing…]

[GL is typing…]

Superman: Fine, I’ll do it.

Flash: yesssss