Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Hailey is half asleep in the passenger seat of the truck. It’s been a long day, productive but starting in the pre-dawn hours and they’re just now heading for home with the sun long gone from the sky.

But they got the drug dealer off the streets so in Hailey’s mind, it was a good day.

But she can’t wait to get home and crawl into bed.

She’s suddenly wide awake as Jay swerves hard to the side of the road.

“Jay?” she asks, shifting to reach for her weapon as she looks around, trying to figure out why he’d pulled off the road.

“We’re good.” he says distractedly, pulling off his seat belt and reaching for the door handle.

She trusts him, abandoning reaching for her weapon to get out of the car.

Jay hops over the pair of barriers to get to the walkway, approaching the final barrier between him and the water.

By the time he’s halfway there, Hailey sees the man standing on the wrong side of the railing and understands exactly why they’ve stopped.

A jumper.

She stays by the truck, calling it in and requesting backup. Her heart skips a few beats when Jay climbs the railing himself, leaning against to it next to the man.

But she trusts him so she doesn't move forward, not wanting to spook the guy by adding an extra body into the mix.

Instead she watches his back the best way she can, working with arriving patrol officers to isolate the bridge and set up a command post.

After what feels like days but in reality is only forty five minutes, she lets out a deep breath as Jay helps the man climb back over the railing.

His hand rests on the man’s shoulder as they make their way back to the road, head ducked low to keep talking to him.

The man is crying, tears streaming down his face but he’s nodding along to whatever Jay is saying.

She’s there when they climb over the last barrier, stepping onto the road.

“This is my partner.” Jay tells the man. “The reason I went to therapy. I didn’t want to do it anymore than you did but she threatened to ask for a new partner so I did.”

“And it helped?” the man asks.

“Yeah.” Jay says. “It did. They’ll take you to Chicago Med tonight. They have an incredible psychiatry department. They’ll help you find a therapist that works for you.”

The man nods, stepping up into the ambulance.

“I have to wrap up a few things here but I’ll check in on you.” Jay promises, shaking the man’s hand. “You’re going to be okay, Tommy.”

“Thanks man.” Tommy says, clinging to Jay’s hand for a moment before sitting back.

The paramedic wraps the blood pressure cuff around his arm and Jay closes the door, giving it a slap before stepping away.

Hailey follows him as he walks toward the center support and then stands in front of him as he leans heavily against it.

“You okay?”

“He’s been home six months.” Jay says, letting out a long breath. “The VA canceled four appointments in six weeks. And it wasn’t worth it so he gave up. Without someone to talk to… the stuff he saw just ate him alive.”

“What about you?” Hailey asks.

“What do you mean?” he asks.

“You didn’t have anyone to talk to.” she says. “Did you…”

“When I first got home I was in pieces physically and mentally.” Jay tells her. “The VA couldn’t keep my appointments any better than Tommy’s and they prioritized physical therapy over mental therapy. I never met with a therapist. I spent the first six months essentially physically incapable of taking my own life and the next six months too drunk. But then I…”

Whatever he’s about to say is cut off as the air is shattered by a loud crack.

Light fills the sky above them and Hailey watches in horror, nearly in slow motion as the lightning travels down the support that Jay is leaning against and into her husband’s body.

Jay goes rigid, his head slamming back against the support as his hands twitch and spasm.

“We need another ambulance over here!” Hailey screams, unable to take her eyes off him.

When the electricity finally dissipates, Jay drops to the ground and Hailey lurches forward, dropping to her knees next to him.

Her eyes are immediately drawn to the horrific burn pattern spread across his back but she forces herself to ignore it, rolling him onto his back and leaning over him to place her ear directly above his mouth.

He’s still breathing, slow and shallow respirations that do nothing to settle her nerves.

She presses her fingers into the side of his neck.

Nothing.

She presses harder, searching for a hint of anything and coming up empty.

Shit.

She lines up her hands, placing them on the center of her husband’s chest and beginning compressions.

“Come on Jay.” she begs. “You were supposed to be taking me home, joining me in the shower and then we were going to sleep for twelve hours. Don’t do this to me.”

There’s no response and she feels her eyes water as she finishes a round of compressions and pauses to press her mouth to his, breathing air into his lungs.

By the time she’s upright again, paramedics have reached them and she watches while they rip his shirt and jacket open to press the AED patches into place on his chest.

Once they are in place, Hailey resumes compressions while the machine analyzes.

‘Shock Advised.’

She pulls back, nodding to the paramedic who presses the button to administer the shock.

Jay’s body jolts and she resumes compressions while the machine reanalyzes.

‘Shock Advised.’

She pulls back again, watching as another shock jolts through her husband’s body.

“We need to go.” the paramedic announces and Hailey helps them roll Jay up so that they can slide the backboard underneath him before lifting his limp body onto the stretcher.

And then she climbs onto it, swinging her leg over his body and resuming compressions.

There’s an enormous jolt as the stretcher is lifted up into the ambulance but she doesn’t stop, continuing compressions until the AED sounds again.

‘Shock Advised.’

She rolls off the stretcher, pressing onto the bench while they administer the shock.

She climbs back into place, resuming compressions as the ambulance lurches into motion.

‘No Shock Advised.’

“He’s got a pulse.” the paramedic tells her as she glances over at her. “It’s thready but steady.”

Hailey clambers off to settle onto the bench seat.

While she’s been fixated on her partner’s heart and the desperate fight to get it restarted, the paramedics have been busy.

An IV is running into his arm, carrying saline and she has no doubt medications that had aided in the battle to bring his heart back online.

An oxygen mask is in place over his face which has already lost several shades of color.

“Just hang on, baby.” she begs him. “Hang on.”

She walks into a room at Med, thanking the nurse for buzzing her through the door.

Thomas Kirkpatrick looks up at her in surprise.

“I thought Jay said he would be checking on me.” he says.

“Jay is a danger magnet who got struck by lightning within five minutes of you rolling out.” she says, shaking her head. “The doctors think he’s going to be okay but I know he’d want someone to check in with you, make sure you don’t think he forgot or that he was lying to you.”

“Lightning?” he says, eyes wide with shock.

“Yeah.” she says, huffing an exhausted laugh. “This is what I deal with on a daily basis.”

“You don’t sound very annoyed by that.” he says, tilting his head.

“I could do with a few less trips to the hospital.” she says. “But I wouldn’t trade having Jay as my partner for anything.”

“As just your partner?” he asks with a slight smirk.

“Way more than just my partner.” she admits.

He nods, looking down.

“He’s lucky to have you.”

“It goes both ways.” she assures him, biting her lip. “Look. I have no idea what the two of you went through over there. But I can tell you that whatever you’re feeling now, it can get better. When I met him, Jay was a mess. But he’s in a good place right now. And he likes to give me the credit but a huge part of it was his therapist, and him
putting in the work. Because therapy sucks and it doesn’t work unless you do but it does help. And I can’t threaten you with finding a new partner but I will find something to blackmail you with if I have to.”

He chuckles.

“Interesting approach.”

“I mean, it worked once.” she says with a shrug.

“I’d like to give it a shot on my own first.” he says.

“Alright.” she agrees. “Just know that if you need me to, I’m happy to help out.”

He nods, actually laughing this time.

“You should go check on Jay. Make sure he didn’t get hit by lightning again while you were gone.” he tells her.

“Don’t say that.” she scoffs. “If anyone could, it’s him.”

“Thank you, for checking in.”

“Thank you.” she tells him. “I know you might be sick of it but I appreciate what you did for us.”

He nods and she offers him one more smile before knocking to be let out.

Jay is awake when she returns to his room and she breathes out a sigh of relief.

“Hey.” she says, hurrying forward to take his hand.

“Hey.” he rasps, blinking slowly. “What happened?”

“You’re a lightning rod now, in addition to a trouble magnet.” she tells him with a fake glare.

“Ouch.” he manages.

“Yeah.” she agrees. “You burned your back up pretty good, in addition to the whole stopping your heart thing.”

His eyes widen for a moment but he just nods.

“I check in with Tommy.” she tells him. “Told him you’d be by when the doctors agreed to let you roam, threatened to blackmail him into therapy if necessary.”

He offers her a smile.

“Thanks.”

“Could make a career of it.” she says with a shrug. “Getting stubborn men to open up about their feelings.”

“A necessary profession.” he agrees. “If there’d been someone doing it when I got home I might not have ended up on that bridge myself.”

Hailey’s heart clenches but she doesn’t say anything, just squeezes his hand.

“I recovered from my injuries and then spent those seven months drinking, smoking and screwing and it still didn’t make me feel any better. Honestly made me feel worse. And I just… couldn’t see any other way out so I walked to the North Avenue Bridge, climbed over the railing and stood there looking down at the water for six or seven
hours thinking about how disappointed my mom would be with me.”

Hailey is torn between praising every deity that could exist that he didn’t jump and asking what had kept him from doing so.

“An off duty cop came by.” he says, looking over. “Talked me off the edge and got me help. And he didn’t check out once I was off the ledge either, he kept checking in, eventually talked me into joining the force.”

“I’d like to thank him.” she says honestly and he smiles at her.

“I could introduce you.”

“Good.” she says with a smile. “And then he can teach you how to do it without getting struck by lightning.”

Chapter Text

Jay walks toward the treeline, following the trail of footprints.

Two black teenagers had showed up out of nowhere taking shots at a pair of school teachers watching their kids play on the playground before fleeing into the trees.

Unfortunately, gunshots are common in this neighborhood and by the time one of the kids had run to a nearby house to call for help, the shooters had already been long gone.

The three frightened children hadn’t been able to give very good descriptions of the shooters, just that they were black, young and wearing dark hoodies.

Hopefully ballistics will give them something but until then, the crime scene is their best clue.

He sees movement deeper in the trees and waving to catch his partner’s attention he moves in, a hand on his weapon as he does.

“Chicago Police.” he calls. “Is someone there?”

There’s a rustle in the trees on his left and he swivels, drawing his weapon.

“Police.” he repeats. “Come out with your hands up.”

“Jay?” Hailey calls from behind him and he slows his tracks to let her catch up.

Something is off here.

Then a kid darts out from behind a bush and Jay breaks into a run.

“Stop!” he shouts. “Police.”

It doesn’t take long for the small thatch of trees to give way to a parking lot and he slows as his target starts weaving between cars.

A shot rings out and then pain is ripping through his calf as his legs are slammed out from under him sending him crashing to the ground.

He hears Hailey screaming his name but he’s more focused on the man that’s dragging him to his feet.

He spins, throwing a hard punch that knocks the man away from him.

“Hai-”

His call for his partner cuts off as a hand reaches out from under the car, grabbing his leg and squeezing hard dropping him to the ground.

And then he’s being lifted into the air and thrown into the trunk of a car.

And then he’s shut in the dark and the car is moving.

He searches for something to hold onto as the movement slams him against the back of the trunk but before he can find anything, he’s thrown to the right as the car turns out of the lot.

The drive is just a series of turns, repeatedly being thrown to and fro in the trunk.

His captors are driving erratically and when his ears finally register the sirens, it occurs to him that his team must be in pursuit.

He kicks out the tail light, groaning in pain when he inadvertently uses his injured leg to do so.

But it allows him to slide up against the opening to peer out.

Several patrol cars are at the front of the pursuit, which makes sense because his team would have had to double back to the park and then make the connection to the parking lot that he’d been lured to.

But he thinks he can see Voight’s SUV a few cars back.

And then a hard turn slams him toward the front of the trunk and he screams as his leg is knocked against the side wall.

And then the sirens start to get further away.

These guys know the streets and have a plan, utilizing train schedules, dump trucks, and even buses to lose their pursuit.

And soon enough, the sounds of the city start to fade too.

Who is behind this? And were they specifically after him or just someone from Intelligence?

The emergency release has been removed, which doesn’t surprise him giving the planning that has gone into this, and he can’t find anything that was left in the trunk, let alone anything that will help him pop the trunk.

At least he’s not being tossed around like a rag doll anymore.

He pulls off his jacket, pulling his t-shirt over his head and starting to shred it. He’s able to use it to bandage his leg, pulling the knots tight to hold it in place.

He’s trying to pull his jacket back on when the car comes to an abrupt, crashing stop that sends him flying against the front.

He blacks out as his head bashes against the top of the trunk.

He wakes up with a groan.

He doesn’t know how long he’s been out but there’s still light filtering into the trunk through the hole from the missing taillight.

Though it’s smaller than he remembers it being.

He drags himself forward, feeling around it.

The frame of the trunk has been crumpled, partially closing his small window to the outside.

He shifts his attention to the main trunk opening and finds the metal warped along the seam.

He moves to lie on his back, bracing his feet against the roof of the trunk and pushes up. His leg protests the force but he ignores it, pushing harder.

But it doesn’t budge.

He pounds his fist against the musty carpet of the trunk and coughs as dirt and chemical infused dust is kicked up.

He reaches for his pocket, searching for his phone and groans when he comes up empty. It must have been knocked out when he was fighting with the guys in the parking lot.

He moves back to press his face against the opening in the trunk.

The back of the car is pressed up against a stand of trees meaning that it must have spun when they collided.

But why had they crashed after the pursuit had fallen away? The vehicle had slowed down, driving more cautiously by the time they’d crashed. It would have made a lot more sense to crash during the pursuit.

And where is the driver?

A lot of planning had gone into this abduction for them to just cut and run, leaving him here at the first sign of trouble.

But they may have had to leave to get a crowbar to get the trunk open. Or they might be seriously injured and trapped themselves.

Regardless, he’d rather not just sit here and wait. Sit here, waiting for his team, hoping they get here before someone involved in abduction.

Or before the heat gets too bad.

The call out to the crime scene had come practically as soon as they’d gotten to the office this morning which means that the temperature is still climbing.

And its already getting suffocatingly hot in this trunk.

Mixed with the musty dust that’s caked into the carpet and the chemical smell, like antifreeze or something similar had been spilled on the carpet at some point, it’s getting pretty miserable.

Almost hard to breathe.

At least there isn’t part of a Humvee sitting on his chest this time.

It’s getting fucking hard to breathe.

But the heat is worse because it’s making it harder to stay in the present.

He can feel the sand blowing across his face, the sun beating down on him and the crushing weight on top of him.

Can hear the sound of shells exploding in the distance, approaching gunfire, and screams of injured friends.

And he knows that it’s just memories, bordering on a complete flashback, but it seems so real.

He’d give anything to know if the smell of gasoline is from his memories or if there’s a leak in the fuel lines somewhere.

It’s unlikely to ignite at this point but the fumes could be hazardous.

An explosion sounds in the distance and he starts, looking around and seeing nothing but sand for miles.

“No, no, no.” he mutters. “Mouse!”

He pulls himself forward, searching for his friend. They’d been in the lead Humvee together. Mouse has to be around her somewhere.

But he’s trapped.

Something heavy is pressing down on his back and making it next to impossible for him to move.

He tries to push up, hoping to roll and get whatever is crushing him off his back but he can’t.

It’s too heavy and the attempt just causes pain to explode in his chest.

He falls still, trying to breathe through the pain.

He needs to get to Mouse. Needs to get to the second vehicle and check on the rest of his men.

Needs to get to a radio so that he can call for backup and get all of them the hell out of here.

He needs… to breathe.

He needs help.

Chapter Text

Jay ducks as gunfire rings out around them.

The ambush had come out of nowhere as they’d moved toward their target, sending the team scrambling for cover.

Nobody is even supposed to know that they’re here and now they’re under attack and pinned down behind enemy lines.

Like the others, he’s firing suppressive cover fire, watching for any flanking attempts and searching for an exit strategy.

A high pitched whistling sound catches his attention and he looks up to see a projectile flying toward them.

“Eli!” he shouts, diving toward his closest teammate and slamming him out of the path of the projectile.

They are both pushed further clear by the force of the blast, slamming into a rock formation.

Jay falls back to the ground, rolling to his back with a groan.

“Halstead! Crawford!”

He sits up, pressing a hand to the side of his head.

“I’m good.” he calls back.

“That’s a stretch.” Eli says and he glances over to see him scrambling closer on his hands and knees.

“You okay?” he asks.

“Shoulder got to know the rocks really well but I’ll be okay.” Eli says. “But you’re bleeding.”

“Am I?” he says, pulling his hand away from his head and looking at it.

“Not your head.” Eli says, opening the pouch on his vest and unfurling a pressure bandage. “Your leg.”

Jay looks down, seeing the blood pooling under his leg and the messy looking wound on his thigh.

Then Eli is pressing the bandage over the top of the injury.

“Can you bend your knee?” he asks and Jay nods, slowly dragging his foot closer to his body, bending his knee to lift his thigh off the ground so that Eli can wrap the bandage around his leg.

Once it’s been tied off, Jay pulls his gun closer.

“We need to get out of here.” he says, looking over at Sergeant Carter who has moved closer to them.

The man nods.

“We’re fish in a barrel for these guys.” he confirms. “Can you walk, Jay?”

“I can manage.” he says. “If Eli will help me?”

“I got you, man.”

“Alright.” Carter says, glancing around. “Let’s move.”

Jay struggles to his feet, leaning heavily on Eli and hefting his gun higher.

Carter points to the Northeast.

“We’ll hunker down in the mountains and wait for backup to get here.” he says.

It’s a longer walk to said rock formations than Jay likes but he nods.

The squad collapses in and he tries to ignore the way that them forming a protective barrier around him makes him feel.

He’s become a liability. One that might get someone else killed.

But trying to insist that they go on without him will just slow the whole team’s progress so he grits his teeth and pushes forward.

He sees movement at their ten o’clock.

“Jerry, down.” he snaps, waiting a split second for his friend to drop before taking his shot.

His AK-47 isn’t as accurate as his sniper rifle and shooting left handed while standing up doesn’t offer much support but they don’t call him ‘Ricky’ for nothing and he wings the man.

They push forward, reaching the foothills and quickly disappearing in the rocky formations.

They move deeper into the hills until they find a ravine and set up a defensible position.

“Alright.” Carter says. “We’ve got some time before they’ll be able to get an extraction team in so we need to hold this position down. Let’s plan on staying down and out of sight for as long as possible.”

“What about the target?” Jay asks. “If we lose him here it might take years to track him down again.”

“They saw us coming.” Carter says. “Halstead we are under fire here.”

“They are expecting us to go to ground and wait for backup.” Jay argues. “They’d never see us coming.”

“You can barely walk.” he scoffs. “They’d see you coming a mile away.”

“Which is what makes me a great distraction.” Jay says. “I’ll take the high ground, pick them off from a distance and sell the idea that we’re all there. Meanwhile the rest of you take care of business.”

“We are not leaving you alone on the mountainside somewhere.” Carter growls.

“I’ll stay with him.” Eli offers. “Cover his six while he does his one man army thing.”

“You and I both know that a high risk extraction behind enemy lines won’t be a priority.” Jay says quietly. “If we get the job done…”

“Puts more pressure on the brass.” Carter finishes. “Might speed up the extraction.”

Jay points to a ridge.

“Won’t take us long to get up there.” he says.

“You mean won’t take me long to carry you.” Eli jokes.

“Just make sure you don’t leave behind the whiskey I brought.” Jay shoots back.

“Alright.” Carter says. “I don’t love it but Halstead is right. It can only help our cause to get the job done. Crawford, stick with him. Get his blown up ass up to that ridge. The rest of us will start making our move toward the target.”

Jay reaches out a hand which Eli quickly takes, helping him to his feet.

“Don’t do anything stupid.” Carter orders.

Jay nods.

He sinks into position on the ridge with a groan.

“You’re bleeding through the bandage.” Eli comments. “I thought it would have stopped by now.”

“It’s all the walking.” Jay says. “It’ll stop soon.”

“I don’t think so.” Eli says. “Jay, that’s a lot of blood.”

“Unless you’ve got a trauma surgeon in your first aid kit, I’m not sure what else we can do out here.” Jay says, shaking his head. “It’s too high up for a tourniquet.”

“We could cauterize.” Eli offers, biting his lip.

Jay grimaces.

“We’ve got work to do.” he says.

“Even you can’t pretend to be an entire squad if you pass out from blood loss.” Eli argues. “You look like shit, man.”

“Fine.” Jay says. “But make it fast.”

Eli nods, retrieving his lighter and combat knife.

Jay sets up his gun on the ledge, scanning for possible targets. ISIS members will be combing these hills looking for his team and all it will take is a glimmer of movement for him to set his plan into action.

Plus it’s a good distraction from the fact that Eli wants to burn him.

He’s right. They need to stop the bleeding and this is the best option but that doesn’t mean that Jay has to like it.

“Hey.” Eli says, drawing his attention behind him. “I’m ready.”

Jay sets the gun aside and rolls over, sitting up.

Eli cuts the pressure bandage off, cuts the pant leg away and then splashes water from his canteen to clear some of the blood away from the wound.

It still looks ugly and fresh blood immediately takes the place of what had been washed away.

Eli glances back at where he’d propped his knife, heating from the lighter.

“Bite down on this, okay?”

Jay takes the stick that he’s holding out with a grimace and slots it between his teeth, biting down.

Eli picks up the knife, catching his eye.

Jay nods and the man doesn’t hesitate, pressing the flat of the blade against the blood pooling on his leg.

A muffled groan breaks free and he bites hard on the stick, both hands clenching into tight fists.

He can smell burning flesh and closes his eyes, breathing in short pants through his nose.

Finally, a hand falls on his shoulder.

“All done.” Eli says. “Take a minute and catch your breath.”

“No.” Jay grunts, opening his mouth and letting the stick fall to the ground. “No, we’ve got work to do.”

“Damn it, Jay.” Eli grumbles.

But he unwraps another pressure bandage, securing it over Jay’s leg.

“At least keep it from getting infected.” he says, shaking his head.

As soon as it’s in place, Jay rolls back onto his stomach and adjusts his rifle.

He sees a flash of movement in the trees far below them and pops off a shot. He doesn’t make contact, the risk of it being an innocent civilian too high, but he gets it close enough.

The possibility of an innocent goes out the window as someone shoots back. Jay’s next shot doesn’t miss.

As time passes, he sees more and more movement in the trees and the men are getting closer and closer to them.

“Bastards are closing in.” Eli says tightly.

“We move down the ridge a hundred feet or so it might buy us some time.” Jay says, pulling back his rifle and struggling to his feet.

“You up for that?” Eli asks, even as he moves closer, sliding under Jay’s left arm.

“More up for that than getting shot or captured by ISIS.” Jay retorts.

Eli sighs and starts dragging him along the ridge.

It’s slow going and they don’t make it far before Jay can’t walk any further and Eli helps him drop back down to a prone position.

“You should go.” he gasps. “I’ll keep their attention. You can link up with the rest of the squad.”

“I’m not leaving you.” Eli growls.

“We are sitting ducks up here.” Jay says. “Especially with my leg. If you go now you can disappear.”

“Just shut up, asshole.” Eli says. “It’s not happening.”

Jay grits his teeth and settles down, dropping another man as he climbs the ridge.

There are only a few passable paths up the ridge which keeps their attackers in a bottle neck.

Its the approach behind them that has him concerned.

Almost like he’d summoned them, he hears movement behind them.

He doesn’t look back, trusting Eli to cover his six.

A single shot rings out.

“The back approach is getting messy on us.” he growls.

“Still time for you to get the hell out of here.” Jay retorts.

“Still time for you to shut the fuck up.” Eli snarls.

“Then lets take as many of these assholes with us as we can.” Jay replies, firing off another shot.

“Now that’s a sentiment that I can get behind.”

It’s nearly on top of them before he hears the chopper over the sound of gunfire but as he turns to look over his shoulder, Sergeant Carter is leaning out of the bay.

“You emotionally attached to this suicide mission?” the man calls. “Or should we all get the hell out of here?”

Nobody waits for his response, his brothers in arms flooding out of the chopper to cover them as Eli drags him to the chopper.

His leg won’t even consider supporting his weight at this point but they make it all the same and the rest of the team falls back, laying down cover fire to keep the attackers at bay as the craft rises into the air.

Jay sits back, breathing hard and resting a hand over his throbbing leg.

“You got him.”

It’s not really a question. He knows his team, knows they got the job done.

“We got him.” Carter confirms. “Now let’s get you to a doctor, huh?”

“If we must.” Jay says, closing his eyes.

They’ll wake him up if anything interesting happens.

Until then, he needs a nap.

Chapter Text

He has no idea how it had come to this.

Except that he does.

A violent drug dealer that he has history with had been found dead a few hours after a confrontation with the man that if he’s being honest had gotten a little out of hand.

And now he’s on modified duty until his team can prove that he didn’t do it.

Which means they have to figure out who did kill the scumbag from his long list of other enemies and provide enough proof.

All while a notable alderman screams up the city with complaints that even drug dealers don’t deserve to be gutted in their homes by the police.

Honestly, at this point the only reason that Voight hasn’t sent him home is the fact that they aren’t really sure it’s safe to do so.

He’s trying to stay off the news sites and social media but its hard. There’s only so much he can do since he isn’t allowed to touch anything to do with the case.

He’s about ready to make his way down the stairs and ask Trudy if he can help with something at the desk when the gate buzzes open, revealing Commander Jenkins, Deputy Superintendent Austin and a very uncomfortable looking pair of patrol officers.

Jay’s stomach immediately twists.

Voight steps out of his office.

“It’s been six hours.” he says, arms folded across his chest.

“You know how it goes with public opinion cases like this.” Austin says, his tone sympathetic but his face anything but. “And in this climate we can’t be seen going easy on a suspect because he’s a fellow cop.”

“So be seen hauling him in for questioning.” Voight snarls. “Oh wait, he’s right fucking here. You want me to go make him camp out in interrogation in case we have any more questions that he hasn’t already answered?”

“Not enough anymore.” Austin says. “It’s time to make an arrest. Show the public that we won’t just close ranks and protect a brother in blue.”

An arrest?

“On what grounds?” Voight demands. “There is no evidence aside from the incredibly tenuous circumstantial evidence that he argued with the victim the day of the murder. A victim who, might I add, probably argued with a lot of people that day.”

“Nobody else was witnessed shoving him.” Austin says. “And Halstead doesn’t have an alibi.”

“You’re just pandering to the public to further your own career.” Voight hisses. “And all the better if it gives you the chance to take a dig at me in the process. But you’re hurting a damn good cop to do it.”

“We have a duty to uphold and honor the law.” Austin says aloofly. “And he had a duty to obey it.”

“Detective Halstead.” Commander Jenkins says, looking uneasy. “I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to hand over your badge to your sergeant.”

His weapon had been surrendered six hours ago, when it had first been discovered that Jennings was dead. Now his badge too.

He unclips it from his belt, avoiding eye contact with the rest of his team as he reaches toward Voight. His boss locks his jaw, glaring fiercely at Austin but eventually reaches out and takes it from him.

“Officer Tanika.” Austin says, no longer making any attempt to hide the glee in his voice. “Search and cuff him.”

This brings a round of protests from his team. Typically when a cop is arrested, being handcuffed in the station is avoided to allow them to maintain some level of dignity.

Jay isn’t surprised though. Austin wants this to be some big public show.

Wants to prove to the pubic that he, and by extension Superintendent Greenway, won’t stand by and allow police corruption to run rampant in the department.

He steps out into the open, placing his hands on the back of his head while the young officer steps forward, searching him with shaking hands.

He doesn’t know Tanika well but he’s worked with him a few times in the past. Knows enough to know that he isn’t any more okay with this than Jay is.

But none of them have any choice but to obey Austin’s orders and go along with it until his team can prove that it wasn’t him.

Voight doesn’t speak again until he’s been cuffed.

“We’re going to find out who really did this.” he says, his words for Jay as much as for Austin. “And I hope you’ll be prepared to make as a big of a display of admitting that you were wrong when we do.”

“We’ll worry about that step when you do.” Austin says, but any idiot could see the heavy implication of if they do painted over his words.

“How long do you think you can stall before taking this to trial?” Hailey demands and Jay can’t help but look over at her, pained to see the glassy look in her eyes.

Hailey is the toughest person he knows but she can sometimes be an angry crier, especially when helplessness is added to the mix. And he knows she hates that her body reacts to the emotion that way.

“You have to know that this won’t hold up in court.” Adam adds. “Voight’s right, you’ve got nothing.”

“I’m sure homicide will find the evidence that I need while you all scramble for nonexistence evidence trying to prove that your boy is innocent.” Austin says. “In the meantime, get him booked Officer.”

There’s less of a media presence outside the station than Jay had expected but the dozen or so civilian protestors that have been there all day kick up plenty of fuss.

Cellphone cameras still capture plenty of footage of him being shoved into the back of the patrol car and he hates that Austin is getting exactly what he wants.

Public outcry hasn’t even been that high the few times that he’d been unable to resist the pull of the internet.

Trent Jennings was a young black man supposedly murdered in cold blood by a white cop. That had given some rise to the level of protests that the alderman had been able to stir up.

But no spin artist in the world could even try to paint the man as innocent which has made a lot of the protests lackluster at best.

What it boils down to is that in no way does Austin ‘have’ to do this. He sees a chance to curry public favor and like a lot of the brass, wants to knock Voight down a peg.

Jay just hopes the man has a plan to walk this back when his team is able to prove his innocence.

Because they will. It’s only a matter of time.

He’s jolted out of his thoughts by the squealing of brakes and crunching of metal as the car is t-boned, sending them careening off path and into a ravine.

He immediately fumbles for the spare handcuff key that he conceals at his waistline.

He’s not surprised Tanika had missed it, had planned on letting him know it was there before he was taken into the prison to avoid embarrassing the kid but hadn’t wanted to do so in front of Austin.

He’s glad he hadn’t now as he quickly unlocks the cuffs, calling out for the young officer as he does.

“Tanika? Hey, come on, talk to me. Are you okay up there?”

He sets the cuffs aside and presses up against the mesh security wall. The car is twisted and damaged but not so much as to provide him a way out of this backseat to check on him.

Tanika is slumped against the steering wheel, blood running down his forehead and unresponsive to Jay’s calls.

And then the screech of metal on metal gets his attention and he looks over to see a man in a black ski mask prying the door across from him open.

“Who are you?” he demands. “What do you want?”

“You’re coming with us.” the man says and Jay looks down at the crowbar.

It’s a decent weapon but its not a gun and he could probably take the guy.

“I’m not here alone.” the man says. “You might be able to fight me off but you won’t get past the others.”

Jay sees the others but they’re far enough away that he’s pretty sure if he dropped this guy now he could get away, get to help before they got to him.

But that would leave Officer Tanika alone with these people and he won’t do that.

“If you let me radio for an ambulance for him I won’t fight you.” Jay says. “I’ll come quietly.”

The man glances up at the front.

“He just arrested you. You’d do that for him?”

“He was just doing his job.” Jay says. “He’s hurt and he doesn’t deserve to die. Please.”

The man tilts his head.

"You'll do everything I tell you to." he says. "Obey every instruction."

Jay nods and the man opens the front door and grabs the kid’s radio to hand to Jay.

“5021 George. 10-1 at 2650 W Fulton Street. Officer down, need an ambulance and CFD.”

The radio is ripped from his hands as soon as he’s done and then he’s being pulled out of the car.

His arms are jerked behind his back and secured with a zip tie. True to his word he doesn’t fight the man, allowing himself to be restrained and then pulled up the ravine.

Now in addition to solving a murder and proving his innocence, his team will have to discover who’s behind his abduction, where he’s been taken and come rescue him.

Hopefully they can multi-task.

Chapter Text

Hailey gets home and her husband isn’t there and she’s confused and worried.

Even with her run, she’s over an hour behind him so even if he got her takeout or something he should still be home. Especially since his truck is in his parking space.

She calls him and he doesn’t answer. She calls Will just to see if he’s with him. Then she calls in a ping on his cellphone.

And then finds it in their parking lot. And suddenly their poor team who just got off work are back on shift trying to find Jay.

Again.

Damn it Halstead, we just wanted one night not working.

They find a lot of leads and chase them down to a lot of dead ends. Around nine the next morning, everyone is getting tired and frustrated and worried.

Platt is at her desk working, trying to deal with the everything else going on but also worrying about Jay. A young woman walks into the station and up to her desk.

“Are you Trudy Platt?”

“Who’s asking?”

“You need to search the Winchester Junk Yard.” The woman says without giving a name.

“And what, exactly, is it that we’re searching for?” She asks, looking over her glasses at her.

“Detective Halstead.” She says and Platt looks up to see a cold smirk on her face, “The car I locked him in must be around 105 degrees by now.”

Platt’s eyes go wide with panic as the woman simply turns and walks away. She picks up her phone and calls Voight.

“I’ve got a lead on Jay. Get down here.” She snaps before hanging up and getting the ball rolling on pulling together officers to search the junkyard.

The entire Intelligence squad comes thundering down the stairs, Hank at the front.

“What do we have?” He demands.

“I just had a woman in here telling me he’s locked in a car in the Winchester Junkyard.” She reports.

“Who?” Hailey demands, looking around.

“She left.” Platt says dismissively. “If Chuckles is locked in a car somewhere we need to find him. She’s on cameras, we’ll track her down later.”

Hank nods.

“We’re gonna head out and get the ball rolling.” He announces, “Can you get some patrol officers to help with the search?”

“Already working on it.” She promises, “we’ll meet you there.”

Trudy has already made contact with the junkyard to get them access by the time Intelligence rolls up.

“I’ve got a van rolling through the gates on camera about two am this morning.” The owner says as he meets them at the entrance. “I don’t recognize it and I don’t know how they got in.”

“Any idea where they went from there?” Voight asks.

“Just toward the stacks. Unfortunately we don’t have cameras out in the yard.”

“We’ll need that footage.” Voight tells him. “Do you have a diagram of the yard? Additional search teams are going to be rolling in soon and we’ll need to track what areas have been searched.”

“I’ll get it,” the man says, nodding back toward the office. “I’ve got two employees onsite that I can lend to help with the search.”

“Appreciate the offer but given that one of them may be how they got in we can’t risk it.” Voight dismisses, turning back to the team. “Move in pairs. Hailey and Kevin take the left. Kim and Adam move right. Keep your radios on.”

The team heads out and Voight turns back to the owner as he returns carrying a blueprint of the yard. Squad cars start rolling up as they lay it out on the hood of Voight’s SUV.

Hailey peers through the windows of a blue dodge while Kevin pops the trunk with the pry bar. They’ve been searching for nearly an hour already and there’s been no sign of Jay.

It’s a relatively cool day for May in Chicago but she knows that inside a vehicle the temperature could still be as high as 120 degrees. Not seeing anything, she turns away from the car, looking to Kevin and sighing as he shakes his head.

As she moves to the next car, she sees footprints in the dust. Signaling to Kevin to check the next car, she follows them two rows over to a dark blue Honda Civic. The windows are heavily tinted and it isn’t until she’s right up against them that she can see into the car.

“Kevin!” She shouts, “I got him!”

She tries the door as he shouts back, frustrated to find it locked. Jay is lying fully reclined in the driver’s seat, motionless and with his eyes closed.

“Hang on.” She whispers, “just hang on, Jay. I’m here.”

Kevin reaches her, immediately slotting the pry bar into the gap between the door and the frame. The door gives way easily and he steps back, radioing in the update and requesting EMTs as Hailey leans over Jay, pressing her fingers into his throat.

The pulse is weak and terrifyingly fast but there and she blinks back tears of relief as she removes the gag from his mouth before turning her attention to his hands.

Thick ropes have been wound around his forearms, securing them together and to the metal frame of the headrest.

Kevin opens the rear door and leans in, using his knife to start cutting the ropes away. Hailey mutters a thank you before redirecting her attention. Once the seatbelt has been removed and the steering wheel shifted up she finds steel cables binding his ankles to the pedals.

“Can I get the bolt cutters?” She calls and Kevin passes them over the seat while continuing to cut the ropes away from Jay’s arms.

There’s a low moan and Hailey looks up to see Jay’s eyes still closed as his head rolls slightly to the side.

“You’re okay.” She soothes, sliding the bolt cutters into place and cutting his left ankle free.

“Easy brother.” Kevin says and she looks up to see Jay pulling against him, trying to pull his arms free.

His eyes are still closed but his face is tense. She hurries to cut his right leg free, dropping the bolt cutters to the ground before putting a hand on Jay’s face.

“Jay?” She whispers. “It’s okay. You’re okay. We’ve got you.”

His only response is a low whine, his head jerking away from her. She pulls her hand back. He’s still trying to yank his arms free and Kevin shakes his head, sheathing his knife and starting to unwinding the ropes to avoid cutting him.

“I’m guessing disorientation and heat aren’t a good combination for him.” He says, catching her eyes. “His arms are already torn to hell from trying to get loose.”

“Jay.” She repeats, resisting the urge to touch him again, “It’s Hailey. You’re in Chicago. Kevin’s working on getting you loose and we’ll get you cooled down real soon.”

She hears motion behind her and turns to see paramedics wheeling a stretcher toward them.

She turns back to Jay to find him still again, head dropping to the side. Kevin pulls the last of the ropes away from his arms and they drop. Hailey helps maneuver them to his lap and then she and Kevin sit the seat up. Jay tips forward and Hailey catches him, letting him rest against her.

“I got you.” She whispers, running fingers through the sweaty hair at the back of his neck.

He doesn’t react and she presses her fingers into his pulse point, finding it even weaker than before.

“Pulse is barely there and way too fast.” She tells the paramedics as they reach them.

With Kevin’s help they are able to get him out of the car and onto the stretcher.

A rectal temperature check comes back with 105.7 degrees and he is quickly stripped out of his jeans and t-shirt.

The paramedics work quickly, getting ice packs nestled into his armpits and groin before draping a cooling blanket over his frame.

True to Kevin’s words, his forearms are shredded from his struggles against the ropes, forcing the paramedics to start their IV in his neck.

An oxygen mask is fitted over his face while the junior paramedic checks his vitals. Hailey takes his hand.

They get him loaded into the ambulance and Hailey jumps up alongside, never relinquishing her grip on his hand. His skin is heated and dry and she rubs her thumb over it while studying his face as he breathes in shallow pants.

When they arrive at Med, he’s taken directly to the OR, Will holding her back and saying things she doesn’t understand about lavages, ARDS and kidney function.

Its several hours before Hailey finds herself being shown to his bedside. He’s still moving erratically and she’s devastated to see soft restraints fastened over the thick bandages covering his forearms.

She knows Will wouldn’t have allowed it to happen if it wasn’t necessary for the safety of the hospital staff and their presence speaks volumes to the emotional turmoil he’s experiencing under the surface.

The IV line is still running into his neck, providing a constant flow of saline and whatever medications the doctors deem will help. She glances up at the monitors, pleased to find his heart rate back in normal range and his temperature down to a low 100.

“He got here just in time.” Will says behind her. “But he’s going to be okay. Kidney function is improving steadily and he’s breathing better.”

“When can the restraints come off?”

“Normally, it would be as soon as we can get him awake and lucid.” he hedges. “But he’s disoriented and hot and its triggering some incredibly vivid flashbacks. As much as I hate it, they should probably stay on until we can get his temperature fully stable. And that might be tomorrow or even the day after. It’s going to stay a little higher than normal, with the occasional spike at least that long.”

She nods, finally stepping forward and curling her fingers around his hand. His skin is warm, more so than usual, but much less than it had been in the car and its no longer as dry as it had been.

He jerks his hand away from her, their fingers just barely touching when the restraints bring him up short. His head tosses from side to side as he mutters incoherently. Tears spark in her eyes as she pulls her hand back.

Will steps forward, hand curling gently around the back of his brother’s neck, fingers tangling in the hair at the base of his neck.

“Shhh.” he hushes, “It’s okay, Jay.”

Jay stills but Hailey can still see the tension and fear thrumming through his muscles. Then Will starts talking again, his tone a slow, steady cadence as he recites what Hailey realizes is a poem.

She watches, a small smile forming on her face as the tension slowly leeches from her husband as his brother talks. Will repeats the words twice before Jay is finally calm, sleeping peacefully.

“I learned it in high school.” Will says after a moment, keeping his voice smooth and even. “Had to memorize it for an English class. Jay had a massive panic attack at mom’s funeral. And I couldn’t… nothing I said seemed to get through to him. So I just… started reciting it. It took a minute but it calmed him down. He swears to this day that its just that its so lame that it has to be me which helps him remember he’s back in the states.”

Hailey huffs a wet laugh at that, tugging forward a chair for Will to sit in before towing one up next to it for herself.

“It’s sweet.” she says, “He’s lucky to have you.”

“He wasn’t always.” Will says, eyes fixed on his brother’s face, “Especially since there was a time when he didn’t really have me. I let so much distance form when I went to college.”

“The past can’t change.” Hailey tells him, “And it can’t change us anymore unless we let it. You’re here now. It means a lot to him.”

Will sits back, letting his hand fall on the bed next to his brother’s, their fingers not quite touching.

“Not enough to invite me to your wedding.” he jokes.

“You were working.” Hailey scoffs, taking up Jay’s line in an oft rehearsed argument between the brothers.

“I could have gotten someone to cover for me for thirty minutes.” Will whines.

“You were invited to the cheesy ring ceremony we had for everyone.” Hailey reminds.

“And drank most of the champagne.” Jay tiredly interjects from the bed and they look over to see him looking at them through hooded eyelids.

“You bought good champagne.” Will says with a shrug as he slides his hand closer to brush against his brother’s. “How do you feel?”

“Toasty.” Jay whispers. “What happened?”

“Some psycho locked you in a car on a bright, sunny May morning.” Hailey says, leaning forward to put a hand on his leg.

“I hurt anybody?” he asks, eyes flickering to the restraints.

“You didn’t.” Will is quick to assure. “But you had a doozy of a flashback in PACU so, better safe than sorry. Sorry.”

“S’okay.” Jay says, glancing around. “When can they come off?”

“We’re still working on getting your temperature stabilized.” Will says hesitantly, “You’re still a lot warmer than we’re happy with. And there’s expected to be at least one major spike before everything’s said and done.”

Jay just nods.

“Why don’t you try to sleep?” his brother suggests. “You’ve been through the wringer.”

“Hot.” Jay says, eyes slipping closed before blinking back open.

“I’ll get you some fresh ice packs.” Will tells him. “Don’t fight it, okay? Just let yourself sleep.”

“K.” Jay breathes out, eyes falling closed.

Hailey takes his hand again, pleased when he doesn’t fight her or try to pull away this time.

“He’s okay.” Will tells her, a hand resting briefly on her shoulder, “I’m gonna go get some more ice. You good here?”

“Yeah.” she says, smiling at Jay’s peaceful face, “Yeah, I’m good.”

Chapter Text

The timing couldn’t have been worse.

Hailey is six months pregnant and starting to get really frustrated with being stuck on desk duty.

And its a risky sting operation with a high chance of something going very wrong.

Which is why she had found herself in Voight’s office, begging him not to send Jay, not now.

But they’re trying to get to a white supremacist group and Adam has already been burned so Jay is the only option.

“I promise you that we are going to bring him home safely.” her boss had told her. “But I can’t not ask him to do this. Any more than he can refuse. We need to get those weapons off the streets before someone else gets hurt.”

They have to get Carl Rand off the streets before he can escalate to something worse.

She’d nodded, swallowing hard and then turning and stepping out of his office.

And now she’s sitting in the waiting room at Med with her brain playing back the moment that everything had gone wrong. All while she’d been stuck watching over camera from miles away.

Jay is inspecting the weapons, one of the supremacists counting the money while Jay makes sure it’s the right merchandise.

“Hey!” Rand shouts suddenly, slamming the butt of his weapon against Jay’s head and then dragging him back against the vehicle, a gun to the side of his head.

The vacant lot devolves into somewhat chaotic shouting as the team moves in, surrounding the supremacists, pulling off a few around the edges as most of their attention had been on Jay and Rand.

“It’s over Rand.” Voight shouts. “You’re not squirreling out of this.”

“Well maybe I take this pig down with me.” Rand shouts, the gun sliding down to press into the side of Jay’s neck.

“That will not help your situation.” Voight shouts. “Don’t be stupid.”

“Stupid was trusting this asshole.” Rand says, jerking Jay’s head to the side. “Stupid was letting you pigs get this close.”

“Let him go now and we can make a deal, maybe get you some more favorable accommodations.” Voight replies.

“Or maybe I go into the pen with a little satisfaction.” Rand snarls, pressure increasing on the trigger.

Jay twists, his elbow slamming back into the man as his shoulder rams upward, knocking the weapon away from himself and dropping to the ground, kicking Rand’s feet out from under him.

The team swarms in, taking Rand and the last few supremacists into custody.

But Jay doesn’t get back up.

Voight drops next to him, rolling him to his back. Blood is pooling on the ground, bubbling up from the side of his neck.

He’d been grazed.

“Get an ambo out here.” he shouts, pressing his hand over the kid’s neck. “He’s losing blood fast.”

Jay’s mouth moves but all that makes it out is a wet gurgle.

“Easy.” Voight soothes. “Just stay with me kid. I promised your wife that I would bring you home. Get you back to meet your baby.”

Something passes across Jay’s eyes and he presses harder.

And then paramedics are all over them, hastily prepping Jay for transport and then racing the ambulance toward Med.

“GSW to the throat enroute.” Voight shouts over the radio. “I want him at Med five minutes ago.”

Hailey looks up as her boss walks into the waiting room. He’d ridden to the hospital with Jay but been intercepted shortly after arrival by someone from the Ivory Tower with questions about the weapons, Rand and what the hell had gone wrong.

She’s got some of those questions herself.

“You lied to me.” she hisses as she walks up to him, unable to see anything past the blood that covers his hands and soaks up his sleeve. “You promised you would bring him home safely.”

“I know.” he says gently, hands coming up and then falling back to his sides. “I know I did and I’m sorry.”

“I have a baby that is due in ten weeks and her father is supposed to be there when she’s born.” Hailey snaps.

“He’s still going to be.” Voight tells her. “I know I messed up here but Jay is tough and he is not going to let this beat him, not when his little girl is almost ready to meet him.”

She shakes her head, staring at the blood.

He’d lost so much blood.

Voight steps forward, pulling her into a hug.

“I’m still mad at you.” she mutters, even as she lets him offer her this small amount of comfort.

“I know.” he says. “I’m mad at me too.”

She pulls back, sniffling and rubbing her stomach.

“I need him.” she whispers.

If Hailey thought these chairs were uncomfortable the last time she’d had to sit in them it has nothing on doing so while six months pregnant.

She can’t slump forward, resting her head on her knees like she wants to or tuck her legs underneath herself.

But standing up isn’t comfortable either so she’s switching rapidly between sitting and pacing and just getting more and more uncomfortable all the time.

Her daughter isn’t helping matters. She’s in constant motion, kicking and punching at Hailey’s internal organs.

The little girl can clearly tell that her mother is anxious, is feeding on those emotions.

“Hailey.” Will says, stepping through the doors.

“Anything?” she begs, walking over to him. “Is he…?”

“Nothing yet.” Will says. “I wanted to check on you. You’re stressing out and it’s not good for you or the baby.”

“So tell them to get my husband through surgery.” she says. “Because I’m not going to be able to stop stressing until I know he’s going to be okay.”

“Maybe not.” Will says. “But why don’t we get you lying down. Check your blood pressure.”

“I need to be here if there’s any news.” she says, shaking her head.

“They will page me the moment there is anything.” he tells her. “Please Hailey, he will kill me when he wakes up if I didn’t take care of you and baby Halstead.”

She sighs.

“Fine.”

He gets her settled in the doctor’s lounge, checking her blood pressure.

“You’re stressed for sure but it’s not too high.” he tells her. “Can I get you something to eat?”

“Just something small, please.” she says.

“Alright.” he agrees. “I’ll be right back. Try to rest.”

She closes her eyes, rolling onto her side and cradling her stomach as she tries to get comfortable.

She actually falls asleep after she eats and soon enough Will is shaking her awake.

“Hailey.”

“What?” she mumbles, struggling to sit up. “What happened?”

“Jay is out of surgery.” he tells her. “He pulled through. He’s still critical but he’s alive.”

“Can I see him?” she asks, stumbling to her feet.

“He’s in PACU but I pulled a few strings. Let’s go.”

She follows him through the hallways, walking as fast as she can until they are making their way through recovery to Jay’s bed.

Bandages are wrapped thickly around his neck and she swallows hard.

“The bullet nicked an artery.” Will says and she tries to shake off the deja vu. “They had a hell of a time repairing it and he lost a lot of blood.”

“Is there concern for brain damage?” she asks.

“We don’t think the damage impeded blood flow to the brain but we won’t know for sure until he wakes up.” Will tells her. “But he’s doing well so far.”

“Do they know when he might wake up?” she asks, taking his hand.

“Any time now.” Will tells her. “They’re not doing anything to keep him under so it’s all up to him.”

As if on cue Jay’s hand tightens around hers and tears fill her eyes.

“Jay?”

His eyes twitch a few times before struggling open. He opens his mouth but she’s quick to hush him.

“Don’t try to talk just yet.” she soothes. “Let’s not test the artery repair just yet.”

He blinks up at her but doesn’t try to talk.

“I am never letting Voight borrow you for a sting operation again.” she soothes, stroking her hand over his hair.

He offers her a weak smile and she returns it.

“But it’s okay.” she assures him. “You’re okay, I’m okay and little miss is okay. So it’s going to be fine.”

He blinks up at her. Once. Twice. Three times.

“I love you too.” she tells him, leaning down to kiss his forehead.

Chapter Text

His stomach hurts.

And he really, really wants his mom to make it all better but she’s been throwing up for the last two days so he’s pretty sure whatever is going on with her stomach trumps his problems.

So instead he curls up on the couch next to Will, tucking his knees up to his chest and tries to figure out who’s playing.

“Cardinals are playing the Jets.” Will says without looking up.

He nods, whispering his thanks and focuses on the game.

He wakes up in his own bed, disoriented for a moment before he realizes that he must have fallen asleep during the game and his dad had carried him upstairs instead of waking him up.

It’s pretty late, the flashing clock between he and Will’s bed proclaiming just before three in the morning and he slides out of bed, stumbling to the bathroom.

He quickly finishes his business and then hurries back to bed. But the sleep doesn’t want to come back once he’s settled back under the blankets and he lies there in the dark, listening to Will snore and wondering why his stomach feels so bad.

Dad says that stomach aches usually happen when you’ve had too much candy and he hadn’t had any today. He also definitely didn’t go to the doctor like his mom so he hadn’t been given any of the medicine that makes her so sick.

He doesn’t really understand how medicine makes her sick and why she’s still taking it if it does.

But he hasn’t taken any so that’s not what’s wrong with him.

He must eventually fall asleep because he wakes up to his mom shaking him gently.

“Time to get up.” she says. “You don’t want to be late for school.”

Says who?

But he doesn’t want to upset his mom so he throws back the covers and climbs out of bed, gasping when his feet make contact with the cold floor.

His mom laughs softly.

“Why don’t you get your socks on first?” she suggests. “Keep those cute little feet of yours warm.”

“Mo-om.” he whines but she just kisses the top of his head.

“Breakfast is almost ready.”

His stomach starts hurting again just before lunch and he sits at the table, distractedly listening to his friends while he pushes his food around his plate.

By the time he gets home he just wants to curl up on the couch again but his mom insists that he has to do his homework before he can watch tv so he sits at the kitchen table, drumming his pencil against the table.

Will finishes most all of his homework by the time Jay has finished his math worksheets and offers to quiz him on his spelling words.

But he struggles to remember how to spell any of them and the usual teasing from his big brother brings tears to his eyes.

He slams his head against the table top in frustration, using it to hide his face while he quickly scrubs at his eyes.

“Sorry Jay.” Will says quickly. “I know its frustrating but you’ll get it. Mrs. Eisenbrown taught me a really cool trick for remembering how to spell close. You want me to teach you?”

He sniffles, wiping his eyes one more time before forcing himself to lift his head, nodding.

Will starts talking again and he latches onto his words, wanting to focus on anything other than the pain in his stomach.

He reads to his mom after dinner, stumbling over a few words but she seems pleased.

“Good job.” she says as he puts the book away. “You’re doing a lot better, sweetheart.”

He just nods, scooting closer and curling into her side.

“Are you feeling okay?” she asks, stroking her fingers through his hair.

He nods again.

“I hate spelling.” he mutters. “Why is it so hard?”

“Sometimes things in life have to be hard so that we know how strong we are.” she says, kissing the top of his head.

“Even you?” he whispers.

“Even me, baby.” she says. “Now why don’t you go watch some tv with your brother until it’s time to get ready for bed?”

“Can I just sit here with you?” he asks.

“Of course you can.” she promises. “I love you so much, sweetheart.”

“Love you too.”

School the next day is pretty awful.

He doesn’t understand why his stomach won’t stop hurting and its making it hard to focus in class.

Mrs. Laramie is definitely getting annoyed with him and he feels bad but the pages of the worksheet he’s supposed to be doing have started swimming every couple of minutes.

He’s tired, dizzy and thinks that he might throw up. But he can’t do that because if he does they’ll call his mom to come pick him up and he doesn’t want to worry her.

He sneaks out of the cafeteria at lunch because the smells are too strong and make his stomach twist and turn even more violently.

He manages to make it to the bathroom before throwing up and is sitting on the floor, resting his head against the cool metal of the stall when the five minute bell rings.

Hastily scrambling to his feet, he flushes the toilet and then hurries out to wash his hands and rinse his mouth before racing for the playground.

He stumbles into line with the other kids just as Mrs. Laramie arrives to bring them back into the classroom and ducks his head, avoiding the stern look that she gives him.

The rest of the day passes in a similar blur and before he knows it, he’s walking into his mom’s arms in front of the school.

“What’s the matter, baby?” she asks quietly, kneeling in front of him and pressing her hand to his forehead. “You’re warm.”

“My stomach hurts.” he whimpers.

“Why didn’t you have them call me?” she asks. “How long have you been feeling bad?”

He shrugs, not wanting to lie to her but also not wanting to worry her anymore.

“I didn’t want them to bother you.” he says.

“You are never a bother.” she says, kissing his forehead. “Will, would you mind carrying his backpack?”

“Sure mom.” his brother says and Jay absently notes that he sounds worried before the world is spinning as his mom lifts him into her arms.

He swallows hard, breathing through his nose as he fights down the nausea and buries his head in her shoulder.

Normally, he would be horrified that everyone at school is seeing his mom carry him like a little baby but right now he just wants her to make this go away.

He’s almost asleep by the time they get home, soothed by the familiar scent of his mother’s shampoo.

She carries him up the stairs, helping him into pajamas before tucking him into bed.

“Do you think you might be sick?” she asks gently.

He just shrugs again and she sighs.

“I’ll get you a bucket.”

He falls asleep before she comes back and wakes to his parents talking outside the bedroom door.

“He looks awful.” his mother is saying. “I hate that he didn’t want to bother me but I can’t believe that his teacher didn’t notice that something was wrong.”

“She’s got thirty other kids to keep track of.” his dad answers.

“Maybe.” his mom says, not sounding convinced.

“He’ll be okay.” his dad tells her. “It’s probably just a stomach bug.”

He doesn’t feel very okay but he’s so tired and his mom and dad won’t let anything bad happen to him so he closes his eyes and drifts back to sleep.

He wakes up screaming.

Will is there in seconds, scrambling across the room and taking hold of his hand.

“Jay?” he says. “Jay, what’s the matter, buddy?”

“It hurts.” he cries. “I want mom. Where’s mom?”

“I’m here, sweetie.” she says, running into the room. “What’s the matter?”

“My stomach.” he sobs. “It hurts. Mom, please.”

“I’m here.” she soothes, her hand touching his head as if to stroke soothingly over his head before jumping back. “You’re burning up! Patrick!”

Another set of footsteps enter the room and then he hears heavy footsteps racing away from them.

His mom lifts him into her arms again and he curls into her, sobbing. He just wants it to stop, why won’t it stop?

Will is following them as his mom runs down the stairs and the jostling as she does causes him to scream again.

“It’s okay, sweetheart.” she soothes. “It’s okay. Momma is here. I’ll make this better.”

“Momma.” he sobs.

“I know baby, I know.” she soothes.

Will is talking, his voice frantic but Jay can’t make out any words.

There’s a jolt when the car starts moving and his stomach somersaults, violently ejecting its meager contents all over his mom and it just makes him cry harder.

The drive seems to take an eternity as he lays there, shaking and sobbing but finally the car screeches to a halt and he’s being pulled out of the backseat, away from his mom.

“Momma!” he cries, reaching for her.

Something stabs into his arm and he cries out again, screaming for her. Where’s his mom? He wants his mom.

And then a cold heaviness is settling over him and he feels himself drifting into the darkness.

When he wakes up again it doesn’t hurt anymore.

His whole body feels weird. Kind of… floaty.

He doesn’t really like it but it’s better than the all consuming pain that had felt like it was ripping him in half.

He opens his eyes, looking around.

“Jay?”

“Momma?” he asks, following the sound of her voice until he finally sees her face.

“How do you feel?” she asks, her hand coming up to stroke through his hair.

“Floaty.” he whispers. “Wa – happened?”

“Your appendix ruptured.” she says, and it hurts to see tears running down her cheeks. “Honey, how long was your stomach hurting?”

“A couple days.” he admits, looking down.

“Sweetheart, why didn’t you say something?” she asks.

“I didn’t wanna worry you.”

“I’m your mom.” she says, stroking his hair. “It’s my job to worry about you.”

“I’m sorry.” he whispers, tears running down his cheeks. “I didn’t want to make you sad. I didn’t mean to.”

“Hey.” she soothes. “You’re okay. I’m not mad at you, baby. I’m just glad you’re going to be okay.”

“It was scary.” he says. “And it hurt. A lot.”

“I know.” she says. “It scared me too. But you aren’t hurting now?”

He shakes his head.

“Good.” she says, offering him a teary smile. “I love you so much, sweetheart. Next time you don’t feel good, please just tell me.”

“I will.” he promises. “I love you too.”

Chapter Text

They make an arrest that afternoon, earning themselves a rare early night, and Kim is quick to suggest that they go to the park to catch the fireworks.

Kevin and Adam are quick to agree and Antonio is in once Eva and Diego have agreed to come.

Hailey shrugs, agreeing that it sounds like fun and all eyes swivel to their final remaining teammate.

Jay tenses up as he senses their gazes on him.

“I don’t know…” he says, hand coming up to rub the back of his neck.

“Please, Jay.” Kim begs. “We’ll get so much junk food and it will be so much fun.”

Hailey laughs.

“Trying to sell Jay with junk food? Kim.”

“I’ll bring some of that unbuttered popcorn you like.” Antonio offers. “And Diego would love to see you, discuss a rematch on that game of horse.”

Jay breathes out a sigh.

“Okay, yeah.” he says, and Hailey can’t help but frown at his lack of enthusiasm. “Sounds fun. I’ll uh, see you guys there then.”

And then he disappears before Hailey can ask if he’s okay.

He’s in a much better mood when he meets them at the park that night, thanking Antonio for the popcorn, chatting with Diego and even eating a hot dog.

Hailey isn’t completely convinced but she files it away, deciding not to ruin a rare night out for the team by pushing him.

As the sky begins to darken they spread their blankets out in what Kim had determined to be the prime spot.

Hailey ends up sitting next to Jay and frowns when she realizes that he’s shaking.

“You okay?” she asks, leaning closer and whispering to avoid drawing the attention of their nosy friends.

He nods, jaw set and she sighs.

Why does he always have to be such a tough guy?

The closer they get to the start of the show, the tenser he gets and she’s starting to wonder if whatever is going on with him is related to the fireworks display.

And then the first roman candle shoots high into the sky with a high pitched whistle before exploding, sending brightly colored light across the horizon.

And her partner flinches.

Actually flinches.

She looks over at him, her brain rapidly compiling the pieces of the puzzle now that they’re laid out before her.

A series fireworks go off and she watches all color drain from his face, eyes dilating and glazing over.

It’s a look she hasn’t seen since that day in a darkened warehouse, trying to rescue the kidnapped son of an accountant who’d made the mistake of agreeing to launder drug money.

Shit.

His PTSD.

No wonder he hadn’t wanted to come tonight.

She needs to get him out of here.

Conscious of the fact that touching him might not be the best idea right now, she reaches out, her hand brushing against his arm.

He jumps, looking over at her but she isn’t sure that he’s seeing her.

She leans closer.

“Jay? It’s Hailey. We’re in Chicago.” she says gently. “Can you stand up?”

He blinks back at her but struggles to his feet so hopefully he’s hearing her on some level.

“Where are you going?” Kim asks.

“Jay isn’t feeling well.” Hailey bites out through gritted teeth.

She’s furious with herself right now for not putting two and two together and realizing that this would bother him but she isn’t the only one who’d forgotten.

And everyone else here has known him longer.

“Need to eat more junk food.” Adam teases. “If that’s all it takes to make you sick.”

Hailey wants to rip them all a new one but this isn’t the time or place.

And Jay needs her right now.

She keeps a gentle hand on his elbow as she helps him navigate through the blankets. Thankfully, Kim’s prime spot had been pretty close to the path and she’s able to get him out of the crowds.

But he gets tenser with every firework that goes off and she worries that he’ll slip into some kind of flashback and she won’t be able to get him back.

She sees her jeep and steers him toward it. They can get his truck later.

She wishes she knew what to do for him.

Because she hasn’t completely lost him yet but he isn’t resurfacing either. She’s only seen this once before and thankfully shouting his name had been enough to snap him out of it.

But the fireworks are still going off and will be most of the night. She’s pretty sure he won’t find his way back entirely until they stop.

Thankfully, he’s been compliant so far and that doesn’t change as she unlocks her jeep and helps him into the passenger seat.

She buckles his seat belt for him and then closes the door, jogging around to get in the driver’s seat.

Once her own seat belt is on, she reaches over to rest her hand on his elbow again.

He doesn’t respond and, taking a deep breath, she starts the car and drives toward his apartment.

He’s still trembling and despite the warm July evening she kicks on the heater and turns up the radio.

Halfway there his hands start moving, the motions unfamiliar to her but clearly well practiced to him.

And then he opens the door and jumps out of her car.

She swerves off the road, slamming on the brakes and barely getting the car into park before she jumps out herself, racing toward his unmoving form.

Should she call for an ambulance?

He sits up as she gets closer and she closes her eyes. He’s still conscious. That’s something.

She crashes to her knees next to him, looking him over the best she can without touching him.

His arms are torn up from the gravel and she can see road rash on his side where his shirt has ridden up.

He seems to have at least protected his head somewhat and the thick material of his jeans had kept his legs safe.

She should take him to Med but she knows he hates hospitals on a good day.

Today isn’t a good day.

Scanning over his injuries again, she makes a decision.

Will meets her at Jay’s apartment, eying his brother with worried eyes.

Jay pulls away from her the moment they step through the door, making a beeline for his bedroom.

“Hey.” Will says softly, taking a gentle but firm hold of his brother’s arm. “I know you need your cave right now but I want to check you for injuries first.”

“No.” Jay says, shaking his head. “Not safe. Need… need to be safe.”

“Just give me two minutes, bud.” Will begs.

“No.” Jay repeats, louder this time as he pulls away from his brother’s hand and resumes his path. “Not safe.”

Will doesn’t stop him this time, following at a short distance as Jay rushes into the bedroom.

Hailey watches him crawl into his closet with tears in her eyes.

All this time spent worrying about his triggers and fighting to make sure that he was okay when he didn’t want to take care of himself and now she’s the one who’d triggered him.

Why hadn’t she said some thing at the precinct? She’d seen how uncomfortable he was with the idea but instead of backing him up she’d just stood there and let Kim and Antonio pressure him.

Will crawls in after his brother, using the dim light of his flashlight as a guide to gently probe for broken bones or indications of internal injuries.

After a moment he sets it down and offers her a weak smile before settling in shoulder to shoulder with his brother.

Jay doesn’t respond to his presence, simply wrapping his arms around himself. His eyes are still distant and Hailey can see him trembling from over here.

She doesn’t even notice Will looking at her until he crawls back out of the closet.

“Why don’t you sit with him for a bit.” he suggests gently. “I’m going to call Voight before it gets too late.”

“Voight?” she asks.

“He’s going to be feeling pretty shitty in the morning.” Will says softly. “Won’t be up for work.”

“I’m such an idiot.” she mutters. “I should have told him it was okay not to go.”

“He could have said something too.” Will says softly. “And now you know. Maybe next year you can help him avoid them.”

Hailey nods, swallowing hard.

There isn’t time for her guilt right now.

Her partner needs her.

She crawls into the closet, sitting next to him and risking leaning close. He doesn’t pull away and she smiles.

“I’m here Jay.” she says softly. “You’re safe.”

She doesn’t know how long they sit there in the dark, the only sound reaching them being the crashing of fireworks in the distance.

Eventually however, they start to taper off and she feels the trembling lessen somewhat.

“Why won’t it stop?”

It takes her a moment to realize that he’s talking to her and even then she isn’t sure what he’s referring to.

Does he want the fireworks to stop or his PTSD?

“I don’t know.” she says softly, reaching out to take his hand. “But you won’t deal with it alone, okay?”

He leans into her, nodding slowly.

“You ready to let Will clean up your arms?” she asks after a minute.

He shakes his head.

“Okay.” she agrees readily. “We can stay here then. As long as you need to.”

Chapter Text

Adam catches up as he finishes locking the cuffs in place and Jay nods in his direction as he pulls their suspect away from the wall.

“Damn bro.” Adam says, slowing to a walk as he continues toward them. “You really gotta save some of these guys for the rest of us.”

“And let them get away?” Jay says, leaning away as a bee starts buzzing around his head.

“Ouch.” Adam says. “And dude, just a bee.”

Jay glares at him but at that moment the bee decides he’s a threat, stinging his neck.

“Shit.” he mutters.

“We’ll get you some ice back at the station.” Adam says, rolling his eyes.

“Call for an ambulance.” Jay snaps, raising his radio. “Hailey, suspect in custody at Shermont and Columbus. Can you meet us?”

“Yeah.” Hailey replies instantly. “I’ll come save you you boys from a quick walk.”

Jay coughs, swallowing hard.

“Hurry.” he gasps and Adam freezes. “Need – cough – my – cough – epi – cough -”

Jay sinks to his knees and it’s enough to snap Adam out of his frozen shock. He races toward his friend, lifting his own radio and glaring at their suspect.

“You run, I will shoot you.” he snaps. “5021 Ida. I need an ambo at Shermont and Columbus forthwith. Officer down, allergic reaction, possible anaphylactic shock.”

He can hear Hailey shouting for Jay to answer her, promising that she’s on her way but his attention is locked on Jay’s face as his friend gasps for air.

He thinks he’s still breathing but only just and if his airway has already swollen this badly he doesn’t want to think about how much worse it will get.

“Jay?” he says, reaching out to put a hand on his shoulder.

Jay shakes his head when Adam tries to lie him down and he just nods.

Jay keeps an Epipen in his truck so that must mean this isn’t his first experience with this. If sitting up is better, he’ll keep him sitting up.

He settles behind him, supporting him in an upright position and hesitantly rubbing his back.

“Hailey will be here soon.” he promises. “Just try to keep breathing. Nice and easy.”

Jay’s fists are clenched tightly at his sides but Adam can hear him struggling through relatively even breaths so he just sits with him, continuing to rub his back.

But the wheezing is still getting worse and Adam finds himself looking around, hoping Hailey is close.

As if hearing his panic, the truck swings around the corner at that moment, screeching to a halt at the curb.

Hailey flies out, racing toward them with something clutched in her right hand.

She doesn’t even look her husband in the eye as she skids to her knees in front of him, flinging the cap off the autoinjector and jamming it into his thigh.

Jay makes a horrible sound as she depresses the plunger but she doesn’t react, holding it in place for another heart beat before removing it and gently rubbing his thigh to help the medication get into his system.

Only then does she look up, cupping his face with one hand.

“You’re okay.” she soothes. “You’re okay, just give the meds a second, okay?”

He nods, his head dropping to her shoulder.

“I know.” she says, fingers tangling in the hair at the nape of his neck. “You can rest. Just keep breathing for me.”

His breathing, which had reduced to pained,whistling inhalations with far too much time between them, starts to ease.

It doesn’t sound good, certainly not the same healthy, strong respirations that had powered him through an impressive foot chase, but he doesn’t sound like he’s about to die right here in front of them.

The three of them sit there for several long minutes, just listening to Jay breathe.

Then he hears another vehicle and looks up, hoping to see the ambulance but its just a pair of patrol officers.

Leaving Hailey to take care of Jay, he gets up and drags the prisoner he’d all but forgotten about over to them.

“Take him back to the twenty first.” he says quietly. “Someone will be there before long.”

“Is he -” one of the officers starts but cuts off as his partner elbows him. “Yes sir.”

They hurry off and he sighs, running his hand through his hair.

“Jay?”

Adam turns back to see Hailey pushing her husband back, trying to look at his face.

“What’s wrong?” Adam asks, hurrying back toward them.

“The epinephrine is wearing off.” she says, sounding scared. “There’s a second injector in the center console of the truck. Can you get it?”

He nods, changing direction and sprinting for the truck.

“5021 Ida. Need an ETA on that bus.”

“Five minutes.”

“Tell them to step on it.” he snaps as he opens the passenger door and dives over the seat to get to the center console. “Epipen just started to wear off. Administering a second one but we need paramedics on hand before that wears off too.”

He grabs the small device and hurries back to Hailey and Jay whose breathing already sounds worse than before the firs injection.

Hailey takes it from him, not hesitating to ram it into Jay’s other leg.

He’s leaned forward, his weight resting entirely on her but his extremities still twitch as the needle enters his body.

The effect is slower this time but his breathing starts to ease again.

“We don’t have long before that one wears off too.” she says, stroking her fingers through Jay’s hair.

“I told them to step on it while I was grabbing the second pen.” Adam tells her. “Any second now.”

The rest of the team shows up but they both ignore them, focused entirely on Jay’s breathing, on praying that he keeps breathing.

The paramedics have to push Adam aside before the pair realizes that the ambulance is here and then they are quick to help lever Jay up onto the stretcher.

An oxygen mask is placed over his face, an IV quickly established and medication pushed.

He’s motionless, both eyes closed and Adam would think he was unconscious were it not for the tight grip that he still has on Hailey’s hand.

She’s managing to stay out of the paramedics’ way while still keeping hold of his hand, stroking his hair and whispering quietly in his ear.

And then the group is in the back of the ambulance and it’s pulling away, leaving Adam alone with the rest of the team.

“What happened?” Voight demands. “Carlton do something?”

“The bee just stung him.” Adam says, staring unseeing past his boss. “He was trying to avoid it and I was making fun of him, I… I didn’t know he was allergic, I swear.”

“Adam.” Voight says, his tone softer. “Making fun of him didn’t make it sting him. What happened next?”

“He was crazy calm at first.” Adam says. “Telling me to call for an ambulance and then radioing Hailey. But by the end of his second message to her he was coughing, struggling to get words out. And then he just went down. And there was nothing I could do but sit there with him, talking to him and encouraging him to keep breathing until she got here.”

“The Epipen wore off?” Kevin asks.

“Yeah.” Adam confirms. “It helped for a minute and then he just went downhill again. We got the second dose in him but… holy shit.”

“He’ll be okay.” Kim tells him. “Hailey’s with him.”

Adam nods, still kind of out of it.

“Kim, why don’t you take Adam to Med with you. Kev, you mind driving Jay’s truck?” Voight says.

The two must agree because soon enough, Kim is leading him away from the scene.

“What about the case?” he mumbles.

“Let’s make sure Halstead is okay first.” Voight says. “Carlton isn’t going anywhere.”

Hailey is prepared to fight anyone who asks her to step out but Ethan doesn’t say anything, just moving around her as needed.

It doesn’t take them long to get the reaction under control and soon Jay is sleeping peacefully. He still has a full oxygen mask over his face but he isn’t fighting for every breath anymore.

“I updated the team.” Will says quietly as he steps back into the room. “Most of them had to head out, get back to the case, but Adam is in the hallway. I think he needs to see him.”

“He can come in.” she says without looking away from her husband’s pale face.

Adam doesn’t stay long, resting his hand briefly on Jay’s chest to feel the steady heart beat and respirations before ducking out of the room.

Another day Hailey might have tried to stop him but she can’t seem to take her eyes off Jay.

“I have to warn you about something.” Will says quietly and she just nods. “Jay has a pretty strong history of biphasic reactions.”

“Of what?” she asks, finally glancing over at him.

“A second reaction, hours after the first with no additional exposure to the allergen.” Will explains. “It’s actually fairly rare but I don’t think Jay’s ever been stung without having one.”

“So he’s going to go through all of this again?” she demands.

“Almost guaranteed.” Will says. “But we’re expecting it. We’re ready for it and we’ll get it under control as quickly as we can.”

“And there’s nothing you can do to prevent it?” she asks.

“Just keep him here under observation for twenty four hours.” he says.

“Well good thing he’s sleeping then.” she says, shaking her head. “Because otherwise he would be demanding to leave already.”

Will huffs a laugh at that and she looks over with a small grin.

“At least we know it’s coming.” he says after a minute. “The first time he got stung they got everything under control and then watched him for about an hour before sending him home. Mom always used to say she had two heart attacks in one day.”

“How old was he?” Hailey asks.

“Three.” Will tells her. “It’s actually one of my earliest memories. Him getting stung and the first reaction is pretty vivid but it’s later that night that really stuck for me.”

She doesn’t say anything and he continues.

“He was sleeping then too.” he says, and she watches him trail his fingers over his brother’s arm. “We got home and he was so tired but he wouldn’t let mom put him to bed, just clung to her so eventually she ended up spending the evening on the couch with him lying on her chest. Around nine or so she took him up to his room and was trying to coax him into bed when he started coughing again. She shouted for my dad and they rushed us into the car and back to the hospital.”

“That sounds terrifying.” Hailey says.

“Yeah.” he agrees. “The time when he was thirteen was a lot better.”

“Why?” she asks.

“Some doctor tried to send us home.” Will tells her. “Kept promising mom that he didn’t need to be observed for the full recommended twenty four hours and that he was sure nothing would happen. But Mama Bear wasn’t having it. Sure enough, two hours later his throat starts closing up again. The poor idiot was so sure she was going to sue him.”

“Not mom’s style.” Jay says slowly without opening his eyes. “Made a... big show... of ... considering it ... though.”

Hailey giggles.

“The more I hear about her the more I wish I’d gotten the chance to meet her.” she says sadly.

Silence falls over the room, all three of them wishing they’d had more time with the Halstead matriarch.

“How do you feel, bud?” Will asks after a moment.

“Tired.” Jay says. “Hate this.”

“Yeah.” Will soothes. “Hate to be that guy but you’ve got the biphasic to look forward to still. Why don’t you try to rest?”

Jay nods, squeezing Hailey’s hand.

“Thanks... for ... coming ... to get me.” he says.

She kisses his forehead.

“Always.” she promises. “Sleep. I’ll be here.”

And with that he slips back into a deep sleep and she sits back.

It’s been a terrifying day and it doesn’t sound like it’s over just yet but she’ll be here and they’ll get through it together.

Chapter Text

Every so often, a sting operation requires them to go in without a bullet proof vest.

Usually it’s one of the girls since the clothes they wear in the summer don’t exactly lend themselves to covering up the bulky garment.

Today it’s Kim.

It’s hovering in the back of the team’s minds that they really hope this goes according to plan with no bullets flying.

And at first, it seems to be working out. Kim talks to her contact, confirming weight and price.

But just as Jay unzips the bag to show the money that they’ve brought another man steps out of the car, a rifle in hand that he’s already swinging round to point at Kim.

“Move in. Move in!” Voight shouts over the radio and the team instantly scrambles from their cars.

Jay turns, tackling Kim to the ground and covering her with his own body.

She clings to him as the vacant lot erupts in gunfire and he’s clinging just as tightly.

What is this guy playing at?

Soon, everything goes silent and after waiting a beat to make sure it stays that way, he carefully rolls off of her.

His back hurts and he’s sure he caught at least one round to the vest but at least he’s wearing a vest.

She isn’t.

“You okay?” he asks.

“I… I think so.” she says, sitting up and checking herself for bullets with shaking hands. “Yeah… I… thanks.”

He nods, trying to sit up but his back screams and he drops back to the ground which only hurts more.

“Ah-hh. “ he gasps, eyes screwing closed.

“Jay?” she asks, scrambling up to her knees. “What’s the matter?”

His attempt at answering is cut off as Adam and Hailey come racing up to them.

“Kim? Kim!” Adam is screaming. “Are you okay? Did you get hit?”

“I’m okay.” she’s quick to assure, her attention focused on him. “But Jay… I’m not sure but something’s-”

Hailey cuts her off.

“I need you to roll over.” she tells him. “They would have hit you in the back.”

He lets her help him roll onto his stomach, feeling that sharp, stabbing pain that he associates with broken ribs.

Okay. More than one round to the vest.

“Think… the vest caught everything.” he mumbles. “Ga-ah.”

“Sorry.” Hailey whispers as she pushes up the light jacket that he’s wearing. “I should have – shit.”

“What?” he asks, trying to twist to see what she’s looking at.

“One dropped in below the vest.” she tells him, pressing her hand into his lower back, off to the left.

He groans, squirming under her hands.

“I know, partner.” she says softly. “I’m sorry.”

“Ambo is two minutes out.” Voight announces as he joins them. “He okay?”

“I’m counting at least eight rounds in the vest and one that snuck in below it.” Hailey says, her voice tight.

“What the hell was that?” Adam demands from where he’s knelt next to Kim, triple checking her for bullets.

“The shooter’s headed to the morgue and Dimitri isn’t talking.” Voight says. “But we’ll figure it out.”

“S’Kim okay?” Jay asks.

“I’m good.” Kim promises him. “Adam checked. You saved my ass.”

“Couldn’t let you win our competition.” he says, trying to force a smile. “Never catch up now.”

“Surely the ones in your vest don’t count.” Kim says, her voice tight.

“Extended my lead at least.” Jay says, reaching his hand toward her.

She takes it.

“Had a vest.” he adds, trying to ignore the increasing pain in his chest.

None of them miss the look on his face or the change in his voice.

“Hang in there, Jay.” Adam says. “Paramedics will be here any second now.”

“How’s your breathing?” Hailey asks.

“Hurts.” he admits. “Left side feels… tight.”

“Most of these bullets are on your left side.” she tells him. “So any broken ribs will be too.”

“Think the bullet hit anything?” he asks.

“Maybe your liver.” she says. “But its about the right spot for either that or your spleen and luckily you already broke up with that.”

“Always thinking ahead.” Kim jokes.

“Wish I could have planned ahead on that one before the IED.” he mutters.

The paramedics arrive and Kim and Adam back off to let them in but Hailey stays right where she is.

“Hey Jay.” Sylvie says as she kneels next to him. “How you doing?”

“Feels… like I been shot… in the back.” he manages, alarmed by how much harder it feels to breathe.

“He’s struggling to breathe.” Hailey tells them. “And it’s getting worse.”

“Hail?” he chokes out, hand searching for her.

She takes it.

“Hey, I’m right here.” she promises.

“H’rts.” he whimpers.

A sharp, throbbing pain spreads across his chest, ratcheting up from a seven to an eleven.

He feels like he’s had the breath knocked out of him but it’s probably more like the air let out of him.

His lung has collapsed.

He can’t even make a sound to tell Hailey and Sylvie that something is wrong though he’s pretty sure the increase in choking gasps as his right lung tries to carry the weight on its own and mostly fails are probably doing it for him.

“Jay!” Hailey says, her voice high and a little squeaky as she squeezes his hand.

The only response he can make is to squeeze back, eyes closed tightly again the pain.

Even the terror of not being able to breathe can’t disguise the stinging burn of a needle being inserted in his arm but he doesn’t even care for once.

As long as the IV brings desperately needed pain relief, he won’t complain.

For now.

He’s rolled onto his back and screams as weight is placed on broken ribs and bullet wounds.

A heavy weight settles over him and he wonders why he’s been given a sedative.

He thinks he’s been pretty calm considering the circumstances.

But then someone is tilting his head back and sliding cool metal into his mouth.

Oh God.

Can’t they put him all the way out before intubating him?

But he doesn’t have the chance to ask, even if he could, before rubber is being advanced down his throat.

He chokes and gags on the intrusion.

“Easy Jay.” Sylvie says. “Let the sedative do it’s job. I’m sorry I can’t wait for it.”

He writhes, still choking against her efforts but he can feel hands pressing his wrists to the ground and in spite of his continued panic the sedative is pulling him under.

Finally, he gives up, drifting into the darkness.

Kim watches with her hand over her mouth and tears in her eyes as Jay finally goes limp.

It should be her laying there on the ground.

She was the one that asshole was aiming at.

This is too high a price for Jay to pay for protecting her.

Adam lets go of her hand to step forward and help them get Jay up onto the stretcher and she realizes that they’re getting ready to leave.

Part of her wants to ask if she can ride with him but she knows that Hailey won’t want to be parted from her husband.

Sure enough, as the stretcher is lifted up into the ambulance, Hailey is quick to jump up next to it, never letting go of Jay’s hand.

Voight is nearby, snapping off orders as he arranges the officer down detail and Kim wishes his words didn’t sound so familiar.

Why does Jay have to be so self-sacrificing?

She understands his reasons this time. She wasn’t wearing a vest.

But she has to wonder if it would have made a difference for him if she had been.

Could she have found an outfit that wouldn’t have made the drug dealers suspicious that could have hidden her vest? Or should she have seen something during previous conversations that would have tipped her off that things would have gone this way?

Because this shouldn’t have happened.

She shouldn’t have just watched one of her closest friends writhe on the ground while he was intubated while still fully conscious.

“Hey.” Adam says softly, jolting her from her self recrimination. “Let’s get to Med.”

She shakes her head, looking over at Voight.

“Is there anything else you need from us here?” she asks.

“Patrol is taking Dimitri back to the district but I figure he can stew over the fact that he was involved in something that ended up with a cop getting shot for a couple hours. But Adam is going to have to talk to IRT.”

Adam’s jaw tightens but he nods.

“This one should be quick.” Voight says. “He opened fire on two people, it’s pretty open and shut.”

“I can drive Kim.” Kevin offers.

“Make sure Hailey is okay.” Voight orders. “And stop beating yourself up, Burgess. There was no way to know this would go sideways. And Jay did what any member of this team would have done, what you would have done for him.”

She nods.

It sounds so simple when he says it like that but she can’t let go of the guilt so easily.

Kevin leads her back to his car, helping her into the passenger seat before getting behind the wheel.

The drive to Med is silent. There’s nothing he can say that Voight hasn’t already said and she’s lost in her own thoughts.

Hailey is pacing the waiting room, her hands and the front of her shirt still covered in blood, when they get there.

In her hands is Jay’s bullet proof vest, an item that Kim hates almost as much as she loves right now.

“Turns out the vest caught ten bullets.” Hailey says softly as they approach. “There’s just… there’s these two places where two bullets landed almost on top of each other. It’s a miracle the vest held up.”

“Yeah.” Kevin says, letting out a breath. “It did it’s job and did it well.”

“He’s gonna be so pissed he has to get a new one.” Hailey says with a small laugh. “He hates breaking them in.”

“Ugh.” Kevin groans. “That shitty period where it’s all stiff and sticks out at weird angles.”

Kim tries to force a smile but she can tell she didn’t really succeed when Hailey sets aside the vest and steps in to hug her.

“He’s going to be okay.” she tells her. “Re-inflating a lung isn’t that big of a deal.”

“He shouldn’t have had to protect me.” Kim says. “I should have found a way to wear my vest.”

“He would have done it regardless.” Hailey says. “It’s Jay. He can’t help himself. Pretty sure if the roles had been reversed and you were wearing a vest and he wasn’t he still would have jumped in front of you.”

Kim sniffles.

Hailey just hugs her tighter.

Adam shows up forty five minutes later having driven Hailey’s jeep from the scene and she finally slips away for a minute, returning wearing one of Jay’s hoodies with her hands and arms scrubbed clean.

Trudy arrives a little bit after that with coffee for all of them.

Two hours later Will steps through the double doors looking tired.

“He’s out of surgery.” he says, running a hand through his hair. “Again.”

Hailey offer him a weak smile and he nods.

“They put one plate in to support the rib that punctured his lung. The rest of it is either just fractures or non-displaced breaks that they aren’t worried about moving around providing we can keep him from trying bench press anything in the next six weeks.” he tells them.

“And the bullet?” Hailey asks.

“Came in at an upward angle, somehow missed his liver entirely and buried itself in the bottom- most rib on his left side. They had to patch up some intestinal damage but it was pretty minor, all things considered.”

“Kim needs to see him.” Hailey says, pushing her forward.

“What about you?” she asks.

“I want to see him.” Hailey says. “But I can wait. You can’t.”

Will smiles at her.

“I can sneak you into PACU.” he offers. “Might be fun to confuse the nurses. It’s usually Hailey.”

“I can wait.” she says.

“You are still tearing yourself up.” Hailey says. “He protected you. He’d do it again and he probably will. But he’s okay and you should go see that for yourself.”

Kim finally sighs and follows Will through the halls.

“He’s really going to be okay.” he says as they approach the PACU doors. “He’s still on a vent and they want to keep him that way at least twelve hours or so to help his lungs heal but the idiot was awake when I left to update you guys.”

Jay is in fact still awake when they reach his bedside in PACU though he’s clearly fighting an uphill battle to stay that way.

Kim shakes her head, taking his hand.

“Are you forcing yourself to stay awake until you see me?” she asks.

He nods slightly, the faintest ghost of an impish smirk on his face.

“Thanks.” she says quietly. “And thank you for saving me. I’m sorry you got hurt.”

His face softens and she smiles, for real this time.

“I know.” she says. “I won’t argue with your choice. It’s just going to take me a minute to wrap my head around it.”

He offers another tiny nod, squeezing her hand.

“But everyone is going to be okay.” she says. “So I guess its a good day.”

He nods again, eyes drifting closed until he fights them open.

“You’ve reassured me.” she tells him. “Now go to sleep you idiot.”

Another grin around the tube and then he lets his eyes fall closed.

Chapter Text

Maggie knows the second she sees her son walk out of the Kindergarten building that he’s coming down with something.

Jay is sluggish and his face flushed despite the warm weather.

He makes a beeline for her and, despite feeling her heart break as she does so, she has to step back.

Due to a recent cancer treatment her immune system is virtually non-existent. She can’t afford to get whatever he has and she can’t even hug him without guaranteeing that she will.

She can’t give her baby the cuddles he so desperately wants.

“I’m sorry sweetheart.” she says, putting her hand up. “I can’t hug you, not today. In fact, you’ll need to walk a little ahead of us. Please stay where I can see you.”

Jay frowns, glancing between her and Will in confusion.

“Okay.” he says finally, shifting his backpack higher and setting off for home.

She watches him walk for a moment, the hunch of his tiny shoulders screaming for her to forget about her immune system and wrap him in a tight hug until he feels better.

They reach the first crosswalk and he stops, turning to look back at her.

“Will, can you walk your brother across the street?” she asks.

“I don’t want whatever he has.” Will says, shaking his head.

“It’s not anything bad.” she tries to explain.

“Then why don’t you walk him?” Will asks, tilting his head to the side.

“Because … for me it is.” she says weakly.

She doesn’t want to try to explain her immune system to her two little boys out here on the sidewalk.

“You’ll be okay, Jay.” she calls. “Just make sure you look both ways, sweetheart.”

His face falls.

“But… it’s not safe.” he says, glancing back at the road.

“You’ll be okay.” she repeats and he slowly turns, searching the road in both directions before walking across.

The next ten minutes are the longest walk she’s ever been on and then finally she’s walking into her living room.

There’s no sign of Jay and she makes her way up the stairs, standing outside his bedroom door to listen to her little boy cry.

Her heart aches and she wants so badly to throw the door open and pull him into her arms.

But she can’t. She can’t get his cold or she’ll be ejected from the clinical trial that she’s in.

She has to put being alive to be there for both of her sons in the future over holding Jay right now. No matter how much it hurts.

Swallowing hard, she turns and walks back down the stairs.

Jay walks up to his dad calling his name and sits up, rubbing sleep from his eyes.

“Hey kiddo.” Pat says, pressing a hand to his son’s cheek. “You wanna come down for dinner.”

He shakes his head.

“Momma doesn’t want me there.” he says, sniffling. “She hates me.”

“Hey, no.” Pat says, sitting on the bed next to him. “Your mom doesn’t hate you.”

“Yes she does.” Jay insists, wrapping his arms around himself.

“You know how your mom’s been sick?” Pat asks.

Jay shrugs.

“Well because of that, she can get sick in other ways a lot more easily.” Pat explains. “And her body can’t handle it the way the rest of us can.”

He tilts his head.

“I don’t understand.” he says finally.

“You don’t necessarily need to understand the specifics.” Pat says with a sigh. “As long as you believe me when I tell you that your mom loves you and wishes more than anything that she could give you the world’s biggest hug.”

Jay shrugs.

“I guess I believe you.” he says.

“You ready to come down for dinner?” Pat asks.

“I can’t.” Jay says. “Mom can’t get sick.”

“Alright.” Pat says after a minute. “I’ll bring your dinner up.”

Jay pulls the blanket out from under himself and wraps it around his shoulders.

He’s really cold.

Pat comes back with two bowls, setting them on the side table while he shifts Jay to sit against the headboard and then climbs onto the bed, sitting next to him.

He grabs the bowls, handing one over and then starting to eat his own food.

“How are you feeling, bud?”

“‘m cold.” Jay mutters. “And my throat hurts.”

“Yeah.” Pat says. “You’re a little feverish. I’ll get you some medicine after dinner.”

“Tastes yucky.” Jay mutters, making a face.

Pat chuckles.

“Yeah but it will get that fever down and help your throat feel better.” he tells him. “Now eat up. Your mom made chicken soup cause she knew you weren’t feeling well.”

“She made this for me?” Jay asks, eyes wide as he sips at the broth.

“Yeah.” Pat confirms. “It’s the best way for her to help you right now.”

Jay nods and they finish their soup in silence. Pat moves the bowls back to the side table and then coaxes his son out of his blanket to change into his pajamas.

Jay picks out his warmest fleece ones and then climbs back into bed, settling in under the covers.

Pat grabs the cold medicine while he’s changing. Jay makes a face when he hands him the medicine cup but swallows it with a shudder.

Pat settles back on the bed next to him with the book that Maggie has been reading to him in his hands.

“Do you mind if I read to you?” he asks. “Or would you rather leave it until your mom can read it with you again.”

“You can read it.” Jay says, shifting closer.

“Alright.” Pat says, smiling down at him and then opening to Maggie’s bookmark.

By the time he finishes the chapter, Jay’s passed out against him and he gently shifts him down on the bed, tucking the covers around him.

“Sleep tight, baby boy.” he whispers, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. “Get better soon so you and your momma can have the cuddles you both need.”

And then he slowly backs out of the room, closing the door behind him.

Maggie is waiting on the stairs and he sinks down next to her.

“Is he okay?”

“He’ll be fine.” he says, kissing the top of her head. “He’s running a bit of a temp but he took the medicine and he’s sleeping now.”

She sniffles, leaning into his side.

“I hate this, Pat.” she whispers. “Of all the difficulties since my diagnosis I never expected this. Never expected to have to turn away my little boy when he was just looking for a hug.”

“We talked.” Pat tells her, wrapping an arm around her. “I think he understands why you couldn’t. At least he knows that you wanted to.”

She nods and he pulls her closer.

“He loves you.” he tells her. “And this seems like forever right now but in a few days he’ll be feeling better and you can give him as many hugs as you want.”

She doesn’t answer but that’s okay. He’ll sit here with her as long as she needs him to.

Jay misses two days of school before he wakes up feeling much better.

He’s just started getting dressed when his dad comes into the room.

“Hey bud.” he says. “Why don’t you take one more day? Go ahead and stay in your pajamas, okay?”

He frowns in confusion but nods, pulling his pajama shirt back over his head.

“Meet me in the kitchen, okay?” Pat says before disappearing back into his own room.

Jay walks down to the kitchen and freezes when he sees his mom at the stove. Before he can turn and run back upstairs, she turns and smiles at him.

“Good morning, sweetheart.” she says. “Come hug your momma.”

“I can’t.” he says, stepping back. “Dad said I should stay home. I’m still sick.”

“You wanna know a secret?” she asks.

He nods.

“I told your dad to tell you that.” she says with a grin. “But you’re not sick any more, sweetie. I just thought maybe we could spend the day together. To make up for not being able to take care of you this week.”

“Really?”

“Really.” she says. “Can I have a hug now?”

He runs across the room to tumble into her arms.

“I missed you momma.” he says quietly, burying his face in her shoulder.

“I’ve missed you too, baby.” she tells him, kissing the top of his head. “You wanna help me make breakfast? And then we can do whatever you want.”

“Even color?” he asks.

“Sure.” she agrees. “We can color.”

“I love you.” he tells her, burrowing deeper into the hug.

“I love you too.” she tells him. “More than anything.”

Chapter Text

Jay is already on his way to open the door when whoever it is knocks again, banging angrily against the wood.

“Coming!” he calls back, checking his phone for messages from Hailey.

He doesn’t think they were expecting anyone.

He opens the door to an unfamiliar older man with white hair. He has no idea who the man is until he recognizes a pair of crystal blue eyes.

What’s Hailey’s dad doing here? She hasn’t talked to the man in years. It doesn’t even make sense for him to have their address.

“Oh.” he says, looking slightly surprised. “I’m looking for Hailey Upton. I thought she lived here.”

“She does.” Jay says, glancing past the man.

He wishes Hailey was here, wishes he knew what she would want him to.

“Is she here?” the man asks. “I want to talk to her.”

“She’s running errand.” Jay says, stepping back. “Can I get you something to drink?”

“You guys been together long?” Steven Upton says as he steps into the apartment. “Unusual for my Hailey to let a man stay in her apartment when she isn’t here.”

“It’s uh – our apartment.” Jay says, closing the door and wishing he knew what the man knows.

“Oh.” Steven says as Jay turns back to face him. “Living with a man. I guess there’s a lot Hailey should have told her mother and I.”

Jay bristles. Hailey doesn’t have to tell her parents anything she doesn’t want to.

“She has a great job, great friends and we’re married.” Jay says briskly. “Anything else you want to know has to come from her. And if you want to know anything else you should try being the kind of parent she wants to talk to, to tell things.”

Steven scowls, something dark and angry passing across his face.

“I think you should go.” Jay says, brushing past him to open the door.

Something heavy collides with his head from behind and he collapses against it instead.

He’s not quite unconscious but he’s halfway there and struggling to find his way back.

A hand closes around his leg, dragging him further into the apartment.

“Shit, shit, shit.”

Someone is muttering but he’s not sure who it is.

Where is he? What happened?

He struggles to roll onto his back, blinking to try to force the world back into clarity.

Is that his ceiling?

Then an unfamiliar face is floating over him, rough hands pulling his arms above his head.

Blue eyes.

Hailey’s dad.

Shit.

Cuffs latch around his wrists and he tries to pull away, tries to sit up. A hand covers his face, slamming his head against the ground and robbing him of what little clarity he’s managed to recover.

He drifts somewhere between conscious and unconscious, closer to unconscious for well… he doesn’t really know how long.

He can hear Steven muttering as the man paces back and forth but he can’t make out any words or tell how close the man might be.

He wants to get up, wants to fight against the cuffs but he can’t… his body won’t respond to his commands.

Hailey will be home soon. He can’t just let her walk into this unaware.

And then Steven is crouching next to him, a dark object in his hands.

“Just go.” Jay scowls. “And maybe I’ll leave this at simple assault.”

“My daughter and I are going to talk.” the man says. “And you… you don’t get to warn her off.”

“Wha-”

Jay’s response is cut off as the item is shoved into his mouth, forced in at an odd angle and filling his mouth.

Steven’s other hand joins the picture and Jay tries to toss his head out of the way as the scarf he’s holding is wrapped around his head, holding whatever it is in place.

He struggles, kicking out at the man who just dodges his legs, jumping easily to the side as he finishes tying off the scarf.

“You’re a kicker, huh?” Steven says with a laugh. “Guess we’ll have to find something to tie those legs down with too.”

“Lph hern.” Jay growls into the gag.

“What’s that?” Steven asks with a chuckle, punching him in the stomach. “I can’t quite understand you.”

He throws another couple of punches and then walks away, leaving Jay groaning on the floor.

He comes back a few minutes later, undoing Jays belt and then lashing it around his ankles, pushing them toward his butt and forcing his knees to bend.

His vision is still fuzzy clear enough to be able to tell that the cuffs on his wrists have been linked to the leg at one end of the couch and the belt on his ankles has been tied to one at the other end.

And then cold metal is pressing against his stomach where being drug around has caused his shirt to ride up.

Damn it. He knew he should have put his gun away when he’d got home.

“So let’s talk.” Steven says. “Your ID says your name is Jay Halstead.”

Jay glares back at him.

How are they supposed to have a conversation if he can’t talk?

“There are rules to how these things are meant to be done, Jay.” the man says. “You ask my daughter to marry you without talking to me first? And you have the nerve to convince her to not invite me to the wedding?”

There is no universe in which Jay would ask this asshole’s permission to marry Hailey. And not inviting her parents had been Hailey’s idea, even before their late night run to the courthouse that hadn’t included anyone.

“What?” Steven says. “You don’t think I deserved to be asked? That’s my little girl, she belongs to me.”

Jay’s eyes darken.

Hailey doesn’t belong to anyone, and definitely not the drunk asshole that had made her life living hell as a child.

The gun travels up to press against the underside of his jaw.

“You go anywhere near my family, you talk to me first.” Steven snarls. “And to be honest, based on what I know about you, I don’t think I would have said yes. Another cop?”

Jay bucks up, pulling against the cuffs and snapping his head toward the man.

It’s a pathetic attack but it’s all he’s got at the moment and he won’t just lie here. Steven easily moves out of the way, pushing him back down with a gun to his chest.

“Can’t even protect yourself, let alone my girl.” he taunts.

There’s a click in the lock and Jay’s gaze shoots that direction.

Hailey.

The door opens and Jay can’t even move as the gun slides back up to slot under his jaw.

“Dad?” Hailey says, voice low with shock.

“Hey princess.” her dad says, where he’s perched on top of Jay. “Nice of you to join us. Why don’t you take a seat?”

Footsteps track slowly toward them and Hailey comes into Jay’s view, eyes wide with confusion and fear.

“What are you doing here?” she asks.

“I came to see you.” the man says and Jay’s gaze swivels back to him to see an almost friendly smile on his face. “I missed you princess.”

“I’m not sure how that translates to attacking my husband.” Hailey says.

“Oh he brought this on himself.” Steven says. “Not asking me for your hand? And how could you let him force you not to invite your family to the wedding?”

“Force me?” Hailey snaps. “Jay asked if I wanted to invite you and mom. I said no.”

“I don’t believe that for a second, princess.” her dad dismisses. “You’ve always been delicate, letting guys push you around.”

“What like you?” she asks. “Yeah dad. I let you knock me around. When I was a kid. And nobody, nobody has been able to since I grew up and left home.”

Steven slams the butt of his gun against Jay’s head, knocking it against the floor.

He groans and Hailey starts to stand but the gun is back against Jay’s throat before she’s fully straightened.

“I wouldn’t.” her dad hisses. “I would hate to have to hurt him again.”

“How the hell do you think this is going to end, dad?” she demands as she collapses back to the couch.

“I wasn’t planning for any of this.” he says, shaking his head. “I just wanted to talk to my daughter. You two are the ones who couldn’t follow the most basic rules of human civility. I thought I taught you better than that, Hailey Anne.”

“Don’t call me that.” Hailey snaps.

“I will call you whatever I see fit.” Steven snaps. “I’m your father. And I won’t let this good for nothing piece of shit fill your head with any more ideas.”

“Like what?” Hailey explodes. “That I deserve to be loved? That I deserve to come home to someone who will treat me with respect instead of slapping me around because I was a little too loud on a Saturday morning? That I’m a human being?”

“This is not how you talk to your father.” Steven says, pressing the gun harder into Jay’s jaw. “I definitely taught you better than that.”

Hailey sits back, gritting her teeth.

She needs to get her dad away from her husband. And then she needs to get to her weapon.

Though she supposes not necessarily in that order.

It’s clear that her dad has never done anything like this before. He hasn’t demanded that she give up her service weapon which is still in it’s holster on her hip.

He thinks that his having a gun on Jay grants him complete power over this situation.

And it makes things harder but not impossible.

Especially when her dad takes his eyes off her to focus his attention on Jay.

“You don’t know what you’re getting into with her.” he says, leaning down to look Jay in the eye. “She’s been trouble since the day she was born.”

Hailey slides her hand to her side, working the release on her holster. But Jay gets there first, head snapping up to crash against her dad’s.

The gun slips down from his jaw as it goes off, her dad’s startled reaction as he reels back to pull the trigger.

Hailey forgets about her weapon, diving forward. She kicks the gun out of her dad’s hand, grabbing his wrist and twisting his arm up behind his back.

She leverages the momentum to slam him to the ground, pressing her knee into his back.

“Stop fighting, asshole.” she growls, reaching back to her belt to grab her cuffs.

“I am your father.” he yells.

“You are an asshole who came into my home and attacked my husband.” she yells back as she snaps the cuffs on his wrists.

And then she pushes off of him, drawing her weapon and pointing it at him.

“Stay put or I will shoot you.” she snarls, glancing back at Jay and feeling her heart drop.

Blood is pooling under his right shoulder as he struggles uselessly against the cuffs on his wrists.

“Stop moving, baby.” she says, backing up to crouch next to him and reaching for her keys.

He falls still, eyes watching her as she drops the keys into his hands so she can keep her attention on her father and make sure that he doesn’t try anything.

She reaches into her pocket for her phone, hitting the speed dial for 911.

“Detective Upton, Badge number 55055. I need an ambulance at 535 W Ridgeway Avenue Shadowbrook Apartments, Unit 1219. Officer down, GSW to the right shoulder. And roll a patrol unit, offender is in custody.”

Jay sits up next to her, pulling the scarf away from his face and pressing it against his bleeding shoulder while spitting the beanie out of his mouth.

“You okay?” she asks.

“I’ll manage.” he says. “You good?”

“I’ll manage.” she parrots.

They sit there in a strangely peaceful silence until backup arrives.

Patrol officers are the first to roll in, taking her dad into custody. They don’t bat an eye when she orders them to take him back to the 21st.

Voight beats the paramedics, rushing over to them.

“You guys okay? I heard your address over the wire.”

“My dad finally showed up.” she says, biting her lip. “He wasn’t happy when he found out that I got married without telling him. I had the officers take him back to the twenty first.”

“I’ll take care of it.” he promises. “You take care of bullet magnet here, huh? We’ll get your statements later.”

“Thanks boss.” Jay says. “We’ll be okay.”

“Yeah.” Voight says with a smile. “You will. I’ll see you later.”

He turns, seeing the paramedics rushing in. He glances back to see Jay leaning into Hailey, her arm around him.

Yeah.

They’ll be okay.

Chapter Text

Jay is standing in interrogation watching Kevin and Adam go at a suspect when his phone goes off.

He looks down to see a text from on of his CIs.

‘Need help. Can you meet me?’

He sighs and looks over at his boss.

“Hey Voight, I got a CI asking for help. You cool if I take off for an hour or so to make sure he’s okay?”

“What’s his name?” Voight asks without looking away from the window.

“Trevor Langston.”

“Alright.” Voight says with a nod. “Let me know if you need anything.”

“I will.” he says with a nod, already texting Trevor back.

‘Yeah. Where?’

He rolls his truck into the parking lot and cuts the engine, jumping out of the cab.

“Trevor.” he calls out. “I’m here. What’s going on?”

“I’m in a bit of trouble.” the kid says, moving toward him with hands shoved deep into his pocket. “I uh, I kind of fell off the wagon.”

“Gambling?” Jay asks. “Trevor.”

“I know.” the kid says. “I know but my girl got pregnant and I was stressed so I… I messed up, man.”

“Alright.” Jay says. “We’ll get you some extra meetings. How deep you in?”

“Seventy grand.”

“What?” Jay explodes. “Are you kidding me? What have you been gambling on?”

“Sports. Poker. Stock market trends.” Trevor says, looking down. “A little bit of everything. I spiraled, man.”

“So you call me before you get in that deep.” Jay groans. “I can’t just pull seventy grand out of my ass.”

“I don’t need money.” Trevor says, shaking his head. “I took care of it. See I met this guy and he paid off everything, like a loan consolidation or something. And he says he’ll write it off as long as I do him a couple of favors.”

“Favors?” Jay asks, eyes going wide. “Trevor that is never a good situation to get yourself in.”

“No, no it’s good.” Trevor says. “See he just wants to talk to you.”

A chill runs down his spine.

“Trevor. What did you do?”

“He just wants to talk.” Trevor insists.

Not for seventy grand he doesn’t.

Jay reaches for his weapon but it’s too late. Four guys come out from behind a pair of cars holding automatic weapons.

“Don’t even think about it, Detective.” one of the men shouts and Jay’s hand comes back up.

“Jay don’t be crazy.” Trevor says. “He wants to talk.”

“The automatic weapons don’t seem like he wants to talk.” Jay says.

“Don’t be so suspicious, Detective.”

He looks up to see an old face that he’d never wanted to see again.

“Vince.” he says with a scowl. “Since when do you have seventy grand lying around?”

“I made some new friends in prison.” Vince says. “I guess I should thank you for that.”

“Yeah.” Jay scoffs. “That why you wanted to chat? So you could thank me?”

“That’s right.” Vince says with a grin. “I spent seventy grand so I could thank you for arresting me.”

“Well then you’re welcome.” Jay says. “We good? Cause I need to get back to work.”

“What kind of a thank you would this be?” Vince says. “We’re taking a ride.”

“I ain’t going anywhere with you.” Jay says, shaking his head.

“I didn’t hear myself giving you a choice.” Vince says, waving one of his men forward.

Trevor steps forward.

“Hey man.” he says, looking between the two of them. “This uh, this wasn’t the deal.”

“Sure it was.” Vince says. “I paid your debts and you got me face time with an old pal. Your part of this deal is done.”

“I don’t know.” Trevor says. “This doesn’t sound like…”

“Save it.” Jay snaps. “Your bit here is done. Find a meeting and I’ll check in with you tomorrow.”

Trevor nods shakily, stepping back.

“Okay.” he says. “Yeah okay.”

Vince’s guy takes hold of his arm, pulling his gun from the holster and passing it to Vince as he tows Jay past him.

They stop by the back door of a black SUV. The man jerks Jay’s hands behind his back, sliding a zip tie over his wrists and tightening it down.

And then he’s shoved into the backseat and the door slammed behind him.

Voight is in his office, trying to figure out where they should go next when Trudy calls up.

“Voight I got someone down here, insisting he needs to talk to you.” she says.

“Busy right now.” he tells her. “Who is it?”

“Trevor Langston.”

“I’ll be right down.”

He jogs down the stairs. Why is the CI that Jay had left to meet showing up at the precinct looking for him? And where is Jay?

The squirrely, slightly strung out young man standing at the desk looks up as he comes down the stairs.

“You Sergeant Voight?” he asks.

“I am. What are you doing here, Trevor?” he asks.

“I messed up.” the kid says. “I started gambling again. And I shoulda asked for help but I was scared and then I found this guy and I thought he was the answer, thought I’d figured it out how to get myself out. He paid off my debts and all he wanted was to talk to Jay.”

“So you called Jay down.” Voight says. “Trevor I need a name.”

“He lied to me.” Trevor says. “He said he just wanted to talk but he was lying. They made Jay go with them, took his gun. I messed up.”

“Trevor.” Voight snaps. “I need a name.”

“Vince Meroni.”

That’s not good.

“Why don’t you come upstairs, Trevor.” he says. “I need to know everything you can tell me.”

Vince shoves him to his knees on the lowest level of the parking garage.

“Got a weird way of showing your gratitude.” Jay says, trying to blink the blood out of his eye.

“I trusted you, Ryan.” Vince says. “Thought we were bros.”

“That game you were running at Brady was sick, man.” Jay scowls.

“Yo those girls wanted to do that shit. Why shouldn’t I make some money off it?” Vince protests.

“Tonya took advantage of other girls who needed help and you helped her do it.” Jay shouts back.

“You lied to me.” Vince shouts, getting up in his face. “Everything you said to me was a lie.”

“I was doing my goddamn job.” Jay tells him, catching a hard punch to the face in return.

“Hey, Vinny.” a man calls behind them.

Jay glances over to see one of Vince’s partners handing him a baseball bat.

Vince takes the bat, turning back to Jay with a smirk on his face.

“He’s right.” he says. “A liar like yourself deserves a lot more than fists.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night.” Jay scowls back.

Vince just grins back at him, swinging the bat into his stomach.

A foot to the ribs rolls Jay onto his back and he groans, bound wrists digging into his back.

Vince crouches next to him, looking over his injuries with a laugh.

“Damn Ryan.” he says. “You sure can take a beating.”

“Frrr mmmm.” Jay responds, words muffled by the tape pressed over his mouth.

“And still kicking.” Vince says. “Still spitting mad and ready to kick my ass.”

“How many ribs do you think I’ve broken?” Vince asks, pressing his hands over Jay’s chest.

Jay groans into the gag and kicks out but his legs have been bound together, the chain attached to them secured to the ground.

“I’ve learned a lot about you since I got out of prison.” Vince says with a laugh. “Army Ranger, huh? But you aren’t gonna get any hits on me chained down like this.”

Jay shakes his head, struggling to sit up.

Vince pushes him back down, pressing extra hard on a particularly tender spot on his ribs as he does so.

A door explodes in behind them and shouts of Police and Chicago PD fill the air.

Vince straightens up, reaching for the bat.

“Don’t even think about it Meroni.” Voight shouts, pointing his weapon at the man.

Vince drives his booted foot into Jay’s ribs one final time before Adam is taking him to the ground, twisting his hands up behind his back.

Jay groans, rolling onto his stomach and bringing his knees up to his chest the best he can.

A hand falls heavily on his shoulder and he tries to twist away.

“Jay it’s me.” Voight says. “It’s just me kid.”

The tape is ripped away from his mouth and he takes a deep, gasping breath.

“Voight?”

“You’re okay, kid.” his boss says. “Just lie still, paramedics are on the way.”

“Trevor?”

“He’s okay.” Voight promises. “Came to me after what happened. Told me everything he could and then just sat in my office repeating that you weren’t supposed to get hurt.”

Jay huffs a laugh, groaning when his ribs scream in protest.

“He’s a good kid.” he says when he can breathe again. “He’s an idiot but he’s a good kid.”

“You think he believed him?” Voight asks.

“Yeah.” Jay says. “He really did.”

“Alright.” Voight says. “I’ll take care of it.”

“Thanks.” Jay breathes.

“We’ll get you taken care of too.” Voight promises. “Just breathe easy.”

Jay nods.

Chapter Text

Jay hates his job.

But when you’re fifteen you don’t exactly have a lot of options. And his parents need the money.

The Halsteads weren’t exactly rolling in it before his mom’s diagnosis but things have gotten very tight ever since.

He’s been working here for six months. Today is his first day as shift manager.

He works with a bunch of idiots and really doesn’t want to be responsible for any of them but the position pays an extra dollar an hour so here he is.

He runs through the opening procedures before unlocking the front doors and turning the open sign on.

The early morning shift is usually pretty slow, a bunch of younger kids whose parents had made a point of bringing them to the park early in the day to avoid the crowds of teenagers.

Jay doesn’t mind working in the mornings. The kids and their parents don’t cause a lot of problems and sometimes it’s fun helping them figure out what they want to order.

It’s after eleven or so that things get frustrating. Teenagers start to wander out of bed and into the park.

And they cause problems.

Jennifer comes in at eleven to help with the lunch rush and he nods to her as he finishes wiping down the picnic tables out front.

He finishes with the tables and heads inside to check that everything is ready. He’s had enough days go sideways because someone forgot to restock the pickles before the lunch rush kicked off.

The door opens, a pair of teenage boys walking in and Jay makes eye contact with Jennifer before stepping up to the register.

“Welcome to the Racing Rapids Snack Shack.” he says. “What can I get you?”

The next hour is filled with back to back orders, the line rapidly climbing to twenty plus patrons and not dropping below that the entire time.

When the line finally trickles to a stop Jay takes a minute to lean against the back wall.

Jennifer smacks him with the wet washcloth on her way past to start cleaning tables. He tries to give her a stern look but she just laughs and he pushes off the wall to start restocking the counter.

The door chimes again and he looks up to see an older boy walking in.

He starts to move back to the register but the boy doesn’t approach the counter, instead walking over to Jennifer and leaning against the table next to her.

“Had to hear for myself if what my bros were saying about the babe working at the snack shack was true.” he says.

Jennifer laughs weakly.

“Oh uh, Thanks.” she says, moving away to clean a different table.

The guy grabs her arm and Jay flies out from behind the counter.

“Don’t touch her.”

“I just wanted to talk to this pretty girl.” the guy says, hand tightening on Jennifer’s arm.

“She doesn’t want to talk to you.” Jay says. “And she definitely doesn’t need you grabbing her arm. So let her go and step back.”

The guy looks Jay up and down but lets go of Jennifer’s arm. She skitters away and Jay moves over to step in front of her.

“You’re pretty brave for a punk ass kid.” he tells him.

“You need to go.” Jay says.

“What if I want a pretzel?” the guy says, stepping toward him.

“There’s another snack shack on the other end of the park.” Jay says. “Go there. You aren’t welcome here.”

“Who the hell are you to talk to me like that?” the guy says, getting up in his face.

“Shift manager.” Jay says, leaning back slightly. “Until the assistant manager shows up in an hour, I’m in charge of this little hell hole. Which means that what I say goes.”

“That right?” the guy says and Jay scowls, straightening up.

“The Snack Shack doesn’t tolerate customers making employees uncomfortable.” he says.

The guy lashes out, shoving Jay and he stumbles back.

“Call security, Jen.” he says. “They can come remove this jerk.”

As she dials the phone, he looks up to see what the guy is going to do and finds him staring at him in horror.

“What?” he demands.

“You… I… Shit…” he stammers.

“Yeah.” Jay says. “I called security. Did you really think I wouldn’t if you shoved me?”

“Didn’t… shove you.” the guy stammers.

“Really?” Jay says.

“Oh shit.” Jen exclaims. “Hey, we need medical out here now. He just stabbed my coworker.”

“Stabbed?” Jay asks, looking down at his stomach to see blood soaking into his polo shirt.

He presses his hand over it, gasping as pain shoots through his torso and dropping to his knees.

Jennifer runs around the counter, kneeling over him and pressing a dishcloth into his stomach.

“Hang on, Jay.” she says. “Help is coming.”

Jay coughs, choking on the thick taste of iron that fills his mouth.

Something wet bubbles over his lips and he looks up at the guy whose still standing in front of him, eyes wide with horror.

Security comes rushing into the shop. Two of them drag the guy away from them and the third kneels next to Jennifer.

“Hey, kid.” he says. “How you doing?”

“‘m fine.” Jay chokes out.

“Yeah.” he says with a chuckle. “You really look it. Hang in there, pal.”

He nods shakily, looking down to see blood spreading across the tiles.

“‘m I dyin’?”

“You’re losing a lot of blood.” he tells her. “But we’ll get you taken care of. You’re gonna be okay.”

The world starts to go fuzzy and Jay’s eyes fall closed.

“Jay!” Jennifer snaps. “Stay awake!”

He forces his eyes open, eyelids fluttering.

“S’ry.” he whispers.

“Don’t be sorry, just stay awake.” she says, squeezing his shoulder.

“Ne.. t’call m’mom.” Jay slurs.

“Mr. Reese should be here soon.” she tells him. “I’ll get him to pull your employee file and give her a call.”

The door slams open again and he glances over to see two paramedics wheeling a stretcher in.

Jennifer and the security officer are pushed back to allow them space to kneel next to him.

“Hi.” one of them says as he pulls the towel away from Jay’s side. “I’m Eric. What’s your name, buddy?”

“J-Jay.”

“Alright, Jay.” the man says. “We’re going to get you taken care of alright?”

He nods.

“I’m going to start an IV and get you something for the pain.” the other paramedic says. “Just gone feel a little poke, alright?”

He nods again, grimacing as he feels the bite of the needle against his flesh.

“Alright.” Eric says. “Let’s get him out of here. Hey Jay? You got a last name?”

“Halstead.”

The second paramedic lifts his radio.

“Dispatch, Ambo 36. Can we get someone to reach out to the parents of one Jay Halstead? We need to get them to Med, ASAP.”

“We’re gonna roll you up on your side for a second.” Eric tells him and Jay nods, clenching his jaw.

He screams as they roll him, sliding the backboard underneath him.

“Easy.” Eric says. “Sorry kid.”

They lift him onto the stretcher and wheel him toward the doors. As they exit the building, he sees the guy from earlier talking to a pair of police officers.

“Wha’s g’n hp’n t’him?” Jay asks.

“Punk kid.” Eric says. “Sounds like he reacted in the heat of the moment. They might go easy on him.”

Jay nods.

“You just worry about yourself, Jay.” Eric tells him. “We get you to Med, get you taken care of then it will go better for him.”

Jay nods and then they’re lifting him into the back of an ambulance.

Eric adjusts an oxygen mask over his face.

“Need you to keep breathing for me, kid.” he says.

“H’rts.” Jay gasps.

“Does it hurt more when you breathe?” Eric asks.

Jay nods.

“Alright.” Eric says. “Alright. That sounds like he might have punctured your diaphragm with that knife.”

“‘at bad?” Jay chokes out.

“It’s not great.” Eric tells him. “I’m sure it doesn’t feel good and it’s going to make things a little messy while you heal up. Diaphragm carries a lot of weight.”

Jay nods and then gasps.

“I- I c -” he tries to speak.

He can’t breathe.

“Easy, easy.” Eric says. “We’ll get you sorted, just try not to panic.”

What else is he supposed to do?

“I’m going to put you to sleep so I can take care of this.” Eric tells him.

Jay shakes his head.

He needs to stay awake. He doesn’t… no …

And then he sinks under the surface.

Bridget Halstead rushes into the Emergency Department and up to the front desk.

“I’m looking for my baby, my little boy.” she says. “The police said he was being brought here.”

“We’ll find him.” the woman assures her. “What’s his name?”

“Jay. Jay Halstead.”

The woman peruses the computer for a moment before looking up.

“He’s in surgery.” she says.

“Oh god.” Bridget says. “What happened?”

“Paramedics indicated abdominal stab wound.” she says. “I don’t know much more than that.”

“He was at work.” Bridget gasps. “At a snack bar.”

“The police should be here soon to fill in some of those holes.” the receptionist promises her. “I can take you up to the surgical waiting room.”

Bridget nods and follows her up the stairs.

She’s sitting, twisting her hands and tapping her toes on the floor when two patrol officers walk into the room.

She stands up.

“What the hell happened?”

“Mrs. Halstead?” the one on the right asks. “I’m Officer Jones and this is my partner, Officer Trudley.”

She just raises an eyebrow.

“A customer at the snack shack was making inappropriate advances on one of your son’s co-workers.” Officer Trudley explains. “He stepped in. Told the guy to back off, asked him to leave the store. So he stabbed your son.”

“How did he get a knife into the park?” she demands.

“We are working with park security to figure that out.” he assures her. “But the youth division is going to want to talk to you at some point, want your opinion on how hard they drive on the offender.”

“Youth division?” she asks.

“The punk that started all of this was sixteen years old.” Jones says. “Just… got upset and reacted.”

She shakes her head, tears rolling down her cheeks.

“And now my little boy is in surgery.” she says, putting her face in her hands.

“I’m so sorry, ma’am.” he tells her. “We can revisit the issue later.”

“Does he have a record?” she asks.

“No.” he says. “And the officers on scene said he was pretty freaked out, like he couldn’t believe he’d done it.”

“Tell them to go easy on him.” she says. “Just… I don’t want to hear anything else about it today.”

“Understood.” he agrees.

“For Halstead?”

She turns to see a surgeon stepping through the double doors and jumps to her feet, hurrying over.

“Jay? Is he okay?” she demands.

“He pulled through.” the man says. “The blade cut through his diaphragm and it wasn’t able to continue expanding his lungs. We’ve repaired the damage but every breath he takes is going to test the repair.”

“Okay.” she says. “Okay so… what are we looking at?”

“We’re going to keep him on the ventilator for the next twenty four hours to take some of the strain off while the tissue starts to heal.” he tells her. “When we get him off, pain management is going to be key. He’ll be avoiding breathing deeply because it hurts and that will increase the risks of complications.”

She nods, swallowing hard.

“Can I see him?”

“A nurse will be down soon to get you.” he tells her. “Just gotta get him settled in a room.”

She nods, pacing back across the room.

It’s almost an hour before she’s sinking into a chair next to a hospital bed, staring down at her unconscious son.

His already pale face is nearly translucent, dark bruising around his eyes and mouth. The tube protruding from his mouth is secured with a velcro strap.

“You just couldn’t help yourself, could you?” she says, taking hold of his hand.

The skin is cold and she rubs it gently.

“I’ll have your dad bring you a warmer blanket.” she promises him. “We’ll get you warmed up, sweetheart.”

His hands are warm. Which is unusual because the rest of him is freezing.

He tries to adjust the blankets but someone is holding his hand.

“Jay?”

He opens his eyes slowly, seeing his mom sitting by the bed.

“M-”

He gives up on talking. It hurts his throat. And his stomach?

“Shh.” his mom soothes. “Don’t try to talk, baby.”

He nods, looking over at his other trapped hand and seeing his older brother slumped over the edge of the bed.

He looks back at his mom, blinking in confusion.

“You were stabbed, sweetie.” she tells him. “You’ve been on a ventilator. That’s why your throat hurts. Here, these will help.”

He lets her spoon some ice chips into his mouth, slowly sucking on them.

“The…. guy?” he manages to gasp when they’ve melted.

“Arrested.” she says. “But youth services will work out a deal. Try to help him find better footing.”

He nods.

“T’red.”

“You can sleep.” she tells him.

He nods again, letting his eyes slide closed.

His mom’s here. He’ll be okay.

Chapter Text

“Jay?” Hailey asks, her slightly higher than usual pitch the only clue that she’s nervous about this conversation. “Can we talk about something?”

“Uh, sure.” he says, rolling to face her on the bed. “What’s up?”

“It’s nothing bad.” she tries to assure, only succeeding in making him more concerned. “Just… important. I want to make sure we’re on the same page about something.”

“Okay.” he says slowly.

“I know we’ve talked about… about kids a little.” she says, a small wince on the word. “But I don’t… we never really came a solid decision on it and I think we should.”

His stomach twists. They have discussed it of course. They hadn’t dated long before getting married but he still thinks they managed to hit the important conversations.

But this has been a complicated issue for both of them.

Hailey has her own childhood to consider; the fear that she could someday end up just like her father and the worry that she doesn’t really know what a healthy parent-child relationship is meant to look like.

One Jay’s end he worries that he’ll make the same mistakes as his own father. And of course his PTSD is always a concern.

He knows objectively that there are times when he isn’t the most fun to be around. Times when he can be distant, lost in his own mind.

Hailey understands those times and is fine with giving him his space, letting him take the time to find his center.

Is it fair to a little kid to have a father who can be in the same room as them but also trapped thousands of miles away?

“Jay?”

He’s been quiet too long, he can see the worry on his wife’s face.

“Your dad? Or your PTSD?” she says quietly.

“I know what to do about my dad.” he answers without looking at her. “I know what I needed from him that I never got and it’s… easy I guess to tell myself that I’ll do better. That I’ll be more supportive of my kid’s dreams, quicker to tell them that I’m proud of them, and just… listen more.”

“But you don’t really have a plan for your PTSD.” Hailey says, putting a hand on his arm.

“What if I came back wrong?” he croaks. “When I was undercover, back when we were first partners, Camilla was worried her brother hadn’t come back all the way. I told her that I don’t think anyone ever does, that you just fill up what’s missing. But what if I’m missing too much? What if I can’t be there for our kid because of it?”

“Jay.” she says.

“I’m sorry.” he groans, throwing the blanket off with shaking hands. “You would be an incredible mom and I’m just a jackass taking that away from you because I’m broken. Maybe I shouldn’t have come back at all.”

He stumbles out of the room, ignoring her calling his name.

What is he doing? He’s just holding her back. Just hurting everyone that he cares about because he’s damaged.

He ends up in the living room, a picture frame in hand.

The picture is from their wedding. A clerk at the courthouse had insisted on taking a picture of them. It doesn’t look like a wedding picture but they look happy.

His left arm is around her shoulders and her left hand has come up to hold his, both of their wedding rings clearly visible. Wide smiles adorn their faces.

Movement directly behind him startles him out of the memory and he drops the frame, the glass shattering as it hits the ground.

The sound may as well have been and explosion and he drops to the floor, picking it up only to drop it again as the glass slices into the palm of his hand.

He clutches his hand to his chest, staring down at the broken picture frame.

The glass had cracked down the middle of the frame, leaving Hailey’s side mostly intact and the glass over his face in pieces, including the shard that’s sticking almost directly up with blood along the edge.

He can feel hot tears welling up in his eyes.

What the hell is wrong with him?

Then Hailey is kneeling next to him, pulling his hand away from his chest and gently unfurling it so she can press a dish towel against the laceration.

“‘m sorry.” he chokes out, still staring at the glass.

“I’m sorry I didn’t realize this was still bothering you.” she says quietly. “Can you tell me what’s going on in that head of yours?”

“I’m doing better.” he whispers. “Really, I am. But I still have nightmares, still just… check out some times. And it isn’t fair to you, all those days when I’m here but… not. But at least you understand. You know what’s happening and… and I hope know that it’s nothing to do with you and that I still love you. But a little kid won’t understand. No little kid should have to deal with their dad having… pieces of him that are still lost in the desert somewhere. Pieces that still pull the rest of him away when he should be here, in the moment, in this incredible life that he has now.”

“Hey.” she soothes, stroking her fingers through his hair. “Don’t think of it that way. Think of what you have to teach our child. The strength that it takes to ask for help, that it’s okay to not be okay, that its okay to be scared, and so much more that can help them handle even just the little upsets that children face. But also… no matter
how well we protect them they’re going to have friends that don’t have that. Friends who see things that kids should never have to see. And you can teach them how to support those friends better than anyone else. Can be someone for those friends to turn to. And I think that’s something that a lot more kids should have.”

When he does look convinced, she gently takes hold of his chin, tilting his face toward her.

“Jay.” she says softly. “I have seen you with kids. You are gentle, warm, and have an incredible gift for making sure they know they are important. Will there be times when its hard? Of course. And there will be tough conversations, things we’ll have to explain. But that’s true for every parent. You don’t think there will be times when I do
things they won’t understand? Times when they’ll do something that reminds me of my dad, times when I’ll just freeze up? Does that mean I won’t be a good mom?”

“No.” he insists. “I meant what I said. You’ll be incredible.”

“And so will you.” she tells him, kissing his forehead. “A kid would be so lucky to call you their dad.”

He finally relaxes a little, leaning into her.

“I’m sorry.”

“No apologies.” she hushes. “Can I just ask one question?”

He nods.

“Do you want kids?” she says. “Forget all the doubts for a minute. Do you want to be a dad?”

“To raise a little person whose half me, half you?” he asks with a small smile on his face. “Yeah. I do. As long as I could do it with you.”

“Smooth.” she says, kissing his forehead again. “I love you. More than anything.”

“I love you too.” he tells her. “And I meant it. I do want to have kids, want to raise a family with you.”

“Then let’s do it.” she tells him. “Let’s make some adorable babies and claim all the happiness that life has tried to keep from us.”

“Okay.” he says, turning to kiss her properly before pulling back slightly and breathing against her lips. “Wanna start right now?”

“I think we should probably go to Med right now.” she says with a small grimace, glancing down at his hand. “I think this needs stitches.”

He sighs, looking down at it as well.

“Yeah. You’re probably right.” he agrees reluctantly.

“Come on.” she says, tugging him to his feet. “I’ll buy you ice cream on the way home. For practice.”

Chapter Text

Jay limps up the front sidewalk, eyes watering as his goal is finally in sight. He just has to get to the bathroom and then he can finally check out the damage.

As he finally reaches the front door he reaches for his keys, freezing with a yelp as his hand brushes against his leg.

Swallowing hard, he tucks his right arm back across his aching torso and fumbles with his left hand, trying to reach into his pocket to pull out the house key.

It takes a million times longer than it should and he’s actually crying by the time he gets the door open but he steps inside, locking the door behind him and heading for the downstairs bathroom.

Thankfully his parents are both at work and Will won’t be home from tutoring for another two hours.

He should have just listened to his mom and hung out in the library until Will was done. They could have walked home together and Tony and his friends wouldn’t have bothered him.

But Jay hadn’t wanted to be a baby, waiting for his big brother to walk him home so he’d insisted that he could walk home alone and eventually his mom had caved and agreed.

Which had only resulted in his being cornered a block from the school by the ninth grade boy who has been determined to make Jay’s life hell since the start of the school year.

It hadn’t been too bad, all things considered. He’d been tripped, landing hard on the ground and then Tony and one of his cronies had kicked him in the stomach and chest a couple times.

The boys had then turned to walk away and, relieved that it was over, Jay had reached for the strap of his backpack.

Which was when Tony had turned back, stomping hard on Jay’s hand.

He hadn’t dared move again until the boys were out of sight, painfully dragging himself to his feet and grabbing his backpack with his left hand.

His ankle had been sprained when he’d gone down and it had been a long, miserable walk home but he’s here now.

He collapsed on the closed toilet, taking a deep breath and lifting his shirt.

He doesn’t seem to be bleeding anywhere and he doesn’t see any abrasions, just redness that he has no doubt will turn into bruising over the next couple of days.

He’ll try to ice the particularly painful spot at the base of his ribs but otherwise there’s nothing he can do except tough it out.

Next, he unlaces his right shoe and slowly pulls it off. As with the door earlier, he’s hindered by the loss of his right hand but eventually he’s tossing the shoe aside and studying his ankle.

Its a little swollen, he’ll want to ice it too, but it doesn’t look too bad.

He’s avoiding looking at his hand, pretty sure that based on the way it feels it’s probably already starting to bruise.

Thankfully, it’s pretty cold out so he’ll be able to get away with wearing gloves most of the time and some of his larger hand-me-down shirts will keep people from looking too closely the rest of the time.

Sighing, he struggles to his feet and limps into the kitchen. Once he’s liberated ice packs from the freezer, he makes his way upstairs and collapses on his bed.

He arranges the ice packs and then opens the book he’s supposed to be reading for English, holding it above his head.

He’d rather start with his science reading but he can’t ice his ribs without lying on his back and he can’t hold the textbook up with one hand so it will have to wait until he’s done with the ice.

Twenty minutes takes forever but finally he’s shifting aside the ice packs and sitting up.

He’s cold but his chest does feel a little bit better so he marks his place in the book and then gingerly rolls on his side, opening his science book.

He’s still reading about types of rocks when he hears Will arrive home.

Sound travels easily through the small house and he allows a small smirk as he hears his brother banging around in the kitchen, rustling up a snack.

The sound has abated by the time he finishes the chapter and fishes out paper and a pencil to answer the review questions.

Shit.

There’s no way he can write with his hand like this.

He struggles to adjust the pencil in his left hand, using his right forearm to hold the paper still and starts writing.

It takes forever and he’s pretty sure his handwriting has never been worse but he’s finished the questions by the time his mom gets home an hour later.

Just some math to do and then he doesn’t have to worry about any more homework tonight. Though he has history that he’ll need to do tomorrow.

There’s a knock on the door and then his mom is poking her head into the room.

“Hi sweetheart.” she says. “How was school?”

“It was okay.” he says. “Almost done with my homework.”

“Good.” she says with a smile before noticing the ice packs still on his bed. “What’s with the ice?”

“Slipped on some ice on the way home.” he lies. “Twisted my ankle and figured I should ice it. It’s fine though.”

“Let me see.” she orders, stepping into the room.

He doesn’t fight her as she pushes up his pant leg. The swelling has gone down thanks to the ice and it looks almost normal.

“Still a little swollen.” she comments. “But I think you’re right about just twisting it. I want to wrap it before you leave in the morning though, okay?”

He nods.

“Thanks mom.”

“I’m sorry you had to walk home on it by yourself afterward.” she says, looking worried. “It would have been easier if your brother had been there.”

He groans.

“I was fine.” he insists. “Will would have probably just pushed me back down anyway.”

She shakes her head but she’s grinning and Jay counts it as a win.

“You want me to bring your dinner upstairs?”

“I can come down.” he assures her. “It’s no big deal.”

“Do you want help?”

“I’m okay. I’m going to try to finish my math first, if that’s okay.”

“Sure.” she says, leaning forward to kiss the top of his head. “I’ll just throw this ice back in the freezer.”

She finally leaves the room and Jay sighs, leaning back against the headboard.

He doesn’t want to do his math homework. His left hand already hurts enough from the handful of science questions.

He finishes the assigned math problems just as his mom calls up the stairs that dinner is ready and he struggles to get his books back into his backpack.

He manages to get it zipped up and then rolls off the bed, limping out of his room.

He makes his way painfully down the stairs, wishing by the time he makes it halfway down that he’d taken his mom up on her offer to bring his food up.

He stumbles over something in the hallway, crashing toward the ground. He instinctively throws his right hand out to break his fall.

He screams when he hits the ground, curling in on himself and clutching his hand to his chest.

It hurts so bad.

Footsteps come thundering around the corner but he just curls tighter.

“Jay?” his mom asks, dropping down next to him. “Sweetheart, what’s the matter?”

“My hand.” he sobs.

She gently tugs off the gloves that he’s still wearing, gasping as she catches sight of his right hand.

The entire thing is black and blue and badly swollen.

“Baby.” she breathes. “Who did this to you?”

“Some …. some boys from school.” Jay says, trying to catch his breath. “They stopped me on the way home.”

“And that’s how you really sprained your ankle?” she presses.

“I didn’t slip on the ice.” he admits. “They tripped me.”

“Are you hurt anywhere else?” she asks, carding her fingers through his hair.

“My ribs hurt.”

“Alright.” she says. “We need to get you to a doctor.”

“Okay.” he sniffles.

“Pat, can you help him to the car?” she says, looking over her shoulder.

His dad steps forward, reaching for his good hand and helping him to his feet.

“Just lean on me, bud.” he says, slinging an arm around Jay’s waist.

They make it halfway to the car before his dad stops, lifting him into his arms. Jay rests his head on his dad’s shoulder.

“I’ve got you.” his dad whispers.

It takes almost eight hours in the Emergency Room before they can even be seen and another three hours of imaging before they get answers.

He has eight broken bones in his left hand and two cracked ribs. But his ankle is just sprained so at least there’s that.

Both of his parents go down to the school the next morning to talk to the principal about the boys that attacked him.

If things don’t get better they’ll be reaching out to the police to file assault charges.

Jay has surgery on his hand and ends up with a week out of school and almost three months in a cast.

And he has to walk home from school with Will up until high school.

But Tony Gilespie never bothers him again.

Chapter Text

Jay gets out of the car, looking over the house.

“Why don’t you go around back?” Al suggests.

He nods, ghosting around behind the building to take a post by the back door.

“In position.”

Thirty seconds later a loud boom shakes the building.

“Al? You okay?”

No response.

“Al?”

He jogs around the building, seeing smoke billowing up from the blasted out front door.

But his partner isn’t lying on the grass like he would have expected.

“Al!” he shouts, lifting his radio. “5021 George. I need Bomb Squad and CFD at 1641 W Bellview Avenue. Explosion, possible additional explosives, possible fire.”

He spots a drag pattern, coated with blood, across the grass toward the front door. Drawing his weapon, he starts to move toward the front door.

He gets close, sees Al lying on the floor with his eyes closed and then a man is stepping into his face with a weapon raised.

Another man behind him has a weapon pointed at Al’s head.

“Who are you?” he demands.

“Not important Detective.” the man says. “We’ve got some demands but I’m guessing you aren’t the man to help with that so why don’t you get your ass back and get ahold of someone who can.”

“Okay.” Jay says, stepping back and holstering his weapon. “Okay. But I need to know what kind of condition my guy is in.”

“He’s alive.” the man tells him. “That’s all you need to know.”

Jay shakes his head, taking another step back and peering past the man.

“I need stable enough to wait.” he presses. “Or SWAT will be hitting this door full blast and soon.”

The man takes a small step to the side, motioning him forward. As he reaches the threshold, a gun settles against the side of his head.

There’s blood on the side of Al’s head, burns scattered across his face and chest and his right leg is bleeding heavily from some kind of puncture wound.

Reluctantly, Jay steps back.

Al will hold for a minute. He needs to get the rest of the cavalry rolling before he does anything crazy.

He steps back, nodding stiffly to the man next to him and then retreating down the steps.

“5021 George. Need an HRT team at my location. I have an officer down, being held hostage. Need paramedics on standby.”

He pulls out his phone, hitting a speed dial.

“Voight. We have a situation.”

“Yeah, I’m hearing the calls over the wire. We’re on the way there. Where’s Al?”

“In the house.” Jay says. “Front door blew, probably when he knocked. He’s hurt but they wouldn’t let me in the house.”

“They tell you about demands?” Voight asks.

“He wouldn’t tell me.” Jay says. “Wanted someone with more authority.”

“Alright.” Voight agrees. “Don’t do anything stupid.”

“I have to Sarge.” Jay says.

“Halstead.”

“Al’s leg is bleeding bad and with the head injury, he can’t get the tourniquet on himself.” Jay argues. “I have to get in there.”

“Jay.”

“Al needs me to do something stupid.” he says, hanging up the phone.

He jogs back to the truck, stripping the rest of his gear, locking his gun in his safe and grabbing the first aid kit.

Then he heads back up to the door. The men have pushed a bookshelf across the door frame.

“Hey.” he shouts, banging on the back of it.

“If you ain’t brought a negotiator, I don’t want to hear it!” the guy shouts back.

“Yeah. You really do.” Jay says. “Cause my guy in there is losing a lot of blood and if you don’t let me come in and provide aid then what I was saying earlier about SWAT is still gonna be your problem. And I probably won’t like how it ends up but I promise you that you won’t either.”

He stands there, listening while they debate for a moment.

“It’s either me with no weapon, just a first aid kit or an entire SWAT team.” Jay calls back. “And you’re running out of time.”

The bookshelf slides aside just enough to allow Jay to squeeze into the house.

He stands, hands up while they pat him down.

Al’s head falls toward him, eyes blinking sluggishly and its almost impossible to wait for the men to give him the go ahead before dropping to his knees.

He slips the tourniquet around his friend’s thigh, tightening it down and then starting to twist the windlass rod.

Al groans but he doesn’t stop.

“Sorry man.” he whispers. “I gotta do this.”

Once he’s got it as tight as he needs, he locks it into place. Then he shifts his attention to Al’s head.

He checks pupil response with the penlight in the kit and then uses wipes to clean up some of the blood so he can get a look at the gash.

“You know we’re on a time limit with this tourniquet.” he comments as he works. “If they don’t get him to the hospital soon, he might lose the leg.”

It isn’t really true. They’ve learned in the Middle East that blood flow can be re-established and the limb saved after as much as twenty four hours.

But these assholes don’t need to know that.

“We aren’t letting him go.” the man snaps behind him.

“Why not?” Jay asks, turning to look the man in the eye. “I’m here. You’ve still got a hostage to get whatever it is that you want. Let me get him some help.”

The man stares back, gritting his teeth and then nodding.

“Move the shelf.” he orders his friend.

Two more men, one of them the target that they’d been here to arrest, walk into the room at the front of the house, hefting rifles.

The second man that’s he’s been talking to glares at him and then moves, pushing the bookshelf out of the way.

Jay reluctantly hooks Al under the arms, dragging him toward the door.

A gun settles against his head again and he tries to ignore it. He gets Al onto the porch and then sirens are filling the air.

“Drop him.” the man covering him orders, digging the gun into his skull.

He lowers Al to the porch, raising his hands.

“Back inside.”

“Okay. Okay.” Jay says, taking a step back.

Before he can even think about starting a fight, a gun goes off nearby and he looks down in horror to see a bullet hole in the wood of the porch next to Al’s head.

“Don’t you try anything.” the man hisses in his ear.

Jay looks up at the sea of lights turning the corner and then backs into the house.

The bookshelf is pushed back across the door.

“Hands behind your back.”

Jay moves his hands into place.

“My name is Jay Halstead.” he says, making eye contact with the man who is obviously in charge and trying to ignore the movement that he can feel behind him. “Is there something I can call you?”

“You can call me shut the hell up.” the man snaps.

He offers a single nod, looking down.

Zip ties are slid over his wrists and pulled tight.

At least Al is going to be okay.

HRT is already on scene when Voight pulls up. He hurries toward the command vehicle but stops when he sees activity at the rear of the ambulance.

Moving that way, he sees Al lying on a stretcher while two paramedics work on him.

“He okay?” he asks.

“I think he will be.” Sylvie tells him. “But whoever applied this tourniquet saved his life. He would have bled out otherwise.”

Which explains why Jay had been so insistent on doing something stupid.

He pats Al’s arm, nodding to Sylvie and then continuing toward the command vehicle.

“Commander Hixson.” he says, climbing in to the back. “We made contact yet?”

“I’ve been calling your Detective’s phone. It’s not in his truck with the rest of his gear so we can only assume it’s on his person. They haven’t answered yet.” Hixson answers. “Olinsky going to be okay?”

“The paramedics think so.” Voight says.

“What can you tell me about what they were here for?”

“Tyler Michels.” Voight tells him. “Person of interest in a drug case Intelligence is working. Halstead and Olinsky were here to pick him up.”

“Any ideas on demands?”

“When I talked to Halstead he said they had something in mind but wanted to wait for someone with more authority.” Voight says. “So I’m guessing they’ll pick up that call before too much longer.”

“We’ll keep try –”

“Commander they picked up.” one of the techs calls and he steps back, sliding the handset over his head.

“This is Commander Jason Hixson of the Chicago Police Department.” he says. “Who am I speaking to?”

“You can call me Tony.” the man says. “There is a flash drive that was taken into evidence by the Intelligence team. I want it back. Along with two million dollars in cash and safe passage.”

“Alright.” Hixson says. “We can work on that. I’d like to speak to Detective Halstead.”

“Maybe later.” Tony says. “I’ll let you get to work.”

The line goes dead.

“What can you tell me about the flash drive?” Hixson asks.

“We pulled it off a body yesterday.” Voight says. “Tech didn’t get anything other than gibberish off it.”

“Encrypted.” Hixson says and Voight nods.

“I’ll call someone on my team.” he says. “Get it brought over.”

“I’ll put in the request for the 1505 funds.” Hixon agrees. “We’ll get him out of there.”

Voight nods.

Jay watches as Tony hangs up the phone.

He’s on his knees, a gun to the back of his head in case he gets any ideas about trying to participate in the phone call.

Tony turns and walks toward him.

“We’ll need to provide proof of life next time they call.” he tells the others. “Let’s get him ready.”

Ready?

Tyler grabs his arm and tows him to his feet. He’s led deeper into the house to where a hallway runs along the stairs.

He’s shoved up onto a step stool. Hears one of the men running up the stairs.

“What the hell is this?” he demands.

His wrists are cut free and his arms shoved up above his head. The man on the stairs reaches down to continue pulling them up, re-securing them around the railing using rope this time.

“See those X’s on the wall?” Tony asks, pointing to the wall across from him where ten x’s have been marked on the wall with painter’s tape.

“Yeah.” he says slowly.

Tony steps back out of the hallway, holding up a small remote.

“When I press a button.” the man says with a smirk, pressing the button.

The explosion is a hundred times smaller than the one that had thrown Al down the front steps and across the lawn but it still sends shrapnel, wood fragments of various sizes, flying toward him.

Several of them embed themselves in him and he grimaces, twisting his wrists in the loops of rope.

“A couple of the charges are bigger than that.” the man tells him, stepping back into the hall. “If the negotiators get me what I need quickly, you might not have to feel any of those. But for now, you can just hang out.”

Then he’s kicking the stool out from under Jay’s feet and all of his weight abruptly drops onto his wrists.

He cries out as he feels something crack but locks his jaw, biting off any sound.

And then he’s left alone.

He doesn’t know how long he hangs there before Tony comes back around the corner with his phone in hand.

“Why don’t you tell Commander Hixson that you’re still alive.” he says, holding it up.

Jay can see the SWAT team leader on the screen, Voight hovering behind him.

“I’m fine.” he says. “Al okay?”

“Detective Olinsky is expected to make a full recovery.” Hixson tells him. “Have they hurt you?”

Tony holds up the remote and Jay can’t help but grimace.

Another charge goes off. It’s one of the larger ones that Tony had mentioned earlier and sends much larger shrapnel flying his way.

One particularly large scrap of wood embeds itself in his leg and he winces but manages not to cry out.

“You have three hours to get me my money.” Tony says. “For every twenty minutes that you do not, a charge will be detonated and Detective Halstead risks being injured. Should you reach the three hour mark without my demands being met, I will detonate one final charge placed in the wall behind your Detective. I can assure you, he will not survive its detonation.”

He ends the call before they can say anything, turning his attention back to Jay.

“That one got you good didn’t it?” he says with a chuckle as he examines the wood sticking out of Jay’s leg and the blood seeping into his pants.

“This isn’t a good idea.” Jay says. “You’re just asking for them to abandon negotiations and turn to a tactical answer.”

“If they do.” Tony says, glaring at him. “I’ll detonate that last charge and kill you.”

“And you’ll get nothing.” Jay snaps.

“See you in eighteen minutes.” Tony says, patting his cheek condescendingly.

Over the next two hours, another six charges are detonated.

For the most part they’ve been small, littering Jay’s frame with small cuts and scrapes.

But the last one, the eighth overall, sends another large shard that catches him in the chest, driving deep into his skin at the base of his ribs.

Jay can’t help but scream as it impacts, yanking hard against the ropes securing his wrists as he attempt to cover the injury.

Tony paces closer, holding the phone up to make sure the negotiator can see the injury.

“Oh that’s not good, huh?” he says, not sounding worried. “Seems like you might need to pick up the pace on my money, Commander. How long do you think he’ll last like this?”

Jay swings up slightly, kicking the phone out of the man’s hand.

Both pieces of wood that have made themselves home in his body are jostled by the movement and he gasps, closing his eyes as he tries to breathe through the pain.

Tony gets right up in his face, hand closing around his throat.

“Bet you think you’re real tough, don’t you?” he hisses.

Jay couldn’t answer if he wanted to; gasping and choking for air. Searing pain is shooting through his torso and he’s pretty sure the man has jostled the wood, probably accelerating the bleeding.

He can hear Hixson’s voice from his phone, the man shouting for Tony to return to the conversation.

“You are a hostage.” Tony hisses. “Your job is to shut the hell up and wait to see if you get to go home alive today.”

His head is slammed back against the wall and then Tony lets go and walks over to pick up the phone.

“My apologies for the distraction.” he says. “The detective and I had something to discuss.”

He faces the screen back toward Jay so the negotiator can see that he’s still alive and relatively intact.

Jay’s head is hanging low to his chest but he forces it up to look at them.

“We’ll be back in, oh about ten minutes.” Tony says, smirking at him and ending the call.

It can’t be more than five minutes before a loud crash echoes through the house and Tony scrambles for his remote, hitting a button.

Nothing happens.

He curses and hits it again and then again and then armored SWAT officers are rounding the corner and knocking it out of his hand.

As he’s taken into custody, Voight appears and rushes up to Jay.

“Easy kid.” he says as Jay tugs on the ropes. “We’ll get you down. How you doing?”

“Tired.” Jay says as Hixson rights the stool and slides it back under his feet, taking the weight off his arms.

Voight reaches up with a knife, cutting the ropes. Jay tries to stay upright but instantly collapses forward.

“Woah.” Voight says, dropping the knife and catching him. “I got you.”

“He’s lost a lot of blood.” Hixson comments as he helps him lower Jay to the ground. “I’ll get a tourniquet on his leg.”

“Al really okay?” Jay asks.

“Got out of surgery five minutes ago.” Voight tells him. “Already chewed out a nurse.”

Jay cracks a smile and Voight looks down, tearing the younger man’s shirt open to get a look at his injury.

“Sorry I was stupid.”

“It’s okay.” Voight tells him. “Sylvie says you probably saved Al’s life so I guess you were right, he did need you to be stupid.”

“What about Sylvie?” a voice says and Voight looks up to see the paramedics hurrying up.

“Just telling him you said he did good with that tourniquet.” Voight says.

“Really good.” Sylvie agrees. “Now lets get you taken care of, huh?”

Jay’s eyes slip closed. Voight is quick to order him to open them and he tries but he can’t seem to fight the pull of the darkness.

He wakes up to beeping.

He’s really tired of the beeping. Maybe next time he gets hurt Will can silence the monitors. They work just as well without broadcasting his heart rate to the whole room, right?

Will would probably just tell him not to get hurt again if he doesn’t want to hear the beeping.

He pries his eyes open, looking down to see red hair on the mattress.

“Will.” he croaks, shocked by how weak his own voice sounds.

His brother shoots upright, staring at him with wide eyes.

“Jay.” he manages after a moment. “Hey. You’re awake.”

“Yeah.” he says. “Can I…”

Will is already picking up a glass of water and bringing the straw to his lips.

He takes a few sips before dropping his head back.

“Thanks.”

Will glances at his watch before grabbing his phone.

“Al doing okay?” Jay asks.

“Chomping at the bit to get out of here.” Will says with a smile as he types something. “Actually you have good timing. They’re just getting ready to sign him out. I’m texting Voight to let him know you’re awake so they can stop by on their way out.”

“How long was I out?” Jay asks.

“It’s been a little over two days.” Will says, setting his phone aside and reaching up to brush his fingers through Jay’s hair. “I was starting to get worried.”

“Sorry.” Jay whispers.

“It’s okay.” Will tells him. “You lost a lot of blood.”

“He… he moved the one in my stomach.” Jay says.

“Yeah.” Will agrees. “Marcel said it looked like the wood had been moved around. Didn’t help that it hit your liver. But they patched everything up, last transfusion started an hour ago so you’re going to be okay. Just need to rest.”

Jay nods.

A wheelchair rounds the corner and he looks up to see Voight pushing Al into his room.

“Hey guys.”

“Good to see you awake, kid.” Al says looking him over. “So what’s up? You can’t let someone else have the hospital stay for once?”

Jay grins tiredly.

“You know me.” he says. “Don’t like to share the attention.”

Al chuckles.

“Thanks kid.” he says, reaching out to squeeze Jay’s arm.

“Anytime.” Jay says seriously.

“Well I’d appreciate it if you could both avoid explosions for a few weeks.” Voight chimes in and Will nods.

“Amen to that.”

Jay and Al roll their eyes.

“Brothers.” Jay retorts and Al chuckles.

“I need to get this one home.” Voight says, shaking his head at them. “Get some rest, Jay.”

Jay nods, offering a wave as they leave. And then Will is brushing his fingers through his hair again.

“Go back to sleep, Jay.” he says softly. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

He’s exhausted and his brother’s ministrations are soothing so Jay doesn’t argue, closing his eyes and letting himself drift back to dreamland.

Chapter Text

Jay is shoved to his knees.

The warehouse is dark, no light other than what’s filtering in through windows high above their heads.

He’s already taken a beating, his captors not waiting long after throwing him into a dark van before starting to throw kicks and punches at his unprotected face and stomach.

“What do you want?” he demands. “Why like this?”

“I just go where the money leads me.” the man standing in front of him says.

“Money?” Jay asks.

“I don’t have anything personal against you.” the man says. “Wouldn’t have anything to do with you if he hadn’t paid me to scoop you up and take care of you.”

“Who’s he?” Jay growls.

“He’s your boss.” the man retorts. “You didn’t have a choice but to do what he said either.”

“Superintendent Austin.” Jay snaps.

“That’s right. Was real specific about how he wanted it to go down too.”

Of course he was. Austin had already had one of Voight’s team arrested, with a touch of hint that he might be planning to have someone in Homicide plant evidence.

Of course he’d seen fit to arrange for Jay to be kidnapped in a way that also implicates him in a jailbreak that had seriously injured a young patrol officer.

Will Voight be pursuing that angle?

A hard punch to the face drags him out of his thoughts and back into the dingy warehouse.

And then the hits just keep coming.

He curls in on himself the best that he can, bringing his knees up in an attempt to protect his stomach.

There’s at least three men beating on him, mostly kicking and stomping though a few punches find their way in.

They’re still going when the darkness closes in and he blacks out.

He’s still lying on the floor when he wakes up.

He can’t hear anyone nearby but he also can’t seem to move to visually confirm.

Everything hurts, every inch of his body playing a line in the symphony of agony.

There’s a ringing in his ears that means that his assessment of not being able to hear anyone could simply be a factor of that and not any true reflection of reality.

He groans, trying to roll onto his back but his arms don’t have the strength.

And its getting harder to breathe.

He hears footsteps moving toward him and screws his eyes closed, trying again to roll toward them.

“Oh this boy is shaking.” the man from earlier says, a laugh in his voice. “You boys got him good.”

“Stupid.” Jay says, annoyed by how shaky his voice is.

“Yeah?” the guy says, crouching in front of him. “What is?”

“Plan.” he says. “Don’t look… cooperating…now.”

“Too bad you didn’t pay us the money you promised.” the man says, slapping him playfully in the face.

Shit.

That theory could work.

And people would buy it. Jay doesn’t have the worst reputation but it won’t be hard to believe that a cop working under Voight had taken matters into his own hands and then crossed a few lines covering his own ass.

“That’s right.” the man says, sending a hard kick into Jay’s stomach. “Starting to realize how screwed you are.”

The guy’s still an idiot.

He already knew he was screwed. That he’s going to die here if his team doesn’t find him in time.

Realizing that Austin is going to be very successful in his attempts to sully his name and deal a blow to Voight in the process doesn’t change that.

It still hurts though.

He’s spent almost fifteen years fighting to keep the streets of the city he loves safe. Fighting to do things the right way and not to cut corners.

It hurts to think that this is how he’ll be remembered.

To think that people will look at Will differently because of it. Look at Hailey differently.

To think that Austin will use it to make things even harder for his team than they already are.

Another foot slams into his chest, rolling him over and he blinks heavily at the door.

It’s not that far away and his feet are free. If he could get up, maybe he can get there.

Who is he kidding? He can’t even roll over. And even if he somehow found the strength to struggle up, these jackasses would have him back on the ground again before he could take a single step.

“You really are done in, aren’t you?” the man laughs. “I guess that means it’s time to finish up here.”

Then a gun is pointed at his face.

“Any preference on where you want it?” the man asks. “I could put it here,” he presses the gun to Jay’s head. “Right between the eyes so that this can end quickly. Or here,” the gun travels down to dig into his stomach and Jay can’t help but groan. “Would be a lot slower, more painful. But more chance for you to be rescued.”

His tone says that he doesn’t expect the extra time would make any difference but Jay knows better.

His team is coming.

They will find him.

And then they’ll find proof of whatever fucked up game Austin is playing.

The asshole isn’t going to win and his stupid hired lackeys are going to prison for agreeing to work with him.

The only question is if Jay will still be alive when they get here.

“Know… I’m… glutton… pun’ment.” he says, choosing to give them a little more time.

The man laughs.

“You really do believe in them, don’t you?” he says with a smirk. “Too bad I’ve run out of patience.”

The gun swings back up to his face and Jay closes his eyes.

So this is it.

And then the door crashes in.

“Chicago PD.” a familiar voice shouts. “Put the gun down, Terrance.”

Voight.

He can hear more footsteps moving into the room, the rest of his team arriving, no doubt.

He should open his eyes but he’s so tired.

A shot rings out.

He’s not dead.

Terrance must have refused to put his weapon down.

A hand rests on the side of his neck.

Hailey.

His hands fall limply to his sides and then he’s being rolled onto his back.

He groans.

Fuck that hurts.

“Easy Jay.” Hailey says softly.

He can hear more talking around him but he chooses to focus on her voice, letting the rest of the sound flow aimlessly over him.

“Jay.” Hailey says. “Can you open your eyes?”

He’d really like to.

Her face would be a welcome sight after the day that he’s had.

Has it only been a day since he was arrested? Less? Or longer?

He manages to twitch his hand and she rests hers over it, tentative at first and then wrapping her fingers around his when he doesn’t react with pain.

“I’m here.” she tells him. “Paramedics are coming soon. I know it’s hard but try to stay awake until they get here, okay?”

He just squeezes her hand.

“We found evidence tying Deputy Superintendent Austin to your kidnapping.” she tells him. “And Jennings’ murder.”

Huh.

He hadn’t expected that. He’d just figured the whole thing was the man seizing an opportunity.

“T..n..k” he chokes out.

“Officer Tanika is going to be just fine.” she promises him. “You did good getting him help so quickly. He had a pretty serious concussion.”

But he’ll be okay.

Jay can’t really bring himself to care about anything else.

He tries really hard to stay awake until the paramedics arrive but as he hears the door slam again he feels himself sliding under the waves of exhaustion.

But it’s okay.

Because Hailey is here.

He’s going to be just fine.

Chapter Text

Jay is at his desk, already hard at work on the case by the time the rest of the unit returns from the crime scene.

He clearly doesn’t want to talk about what had happened so they follow his lead, settling in to go over leads.

Jay’s already made up the first case board with history on their victim.

“I think I have an angle on this and I don’t like it.” he says, looking up at them.

“Let’s hear it.” Voight says.

“Our vic, Darren Redford, worked security at the water treatment plant.” Jay says. “Located on the shore of Lake Michigan, all running water that goes through Chicago is processed through the facility. The Middle East angle suggests a possible terror attack and this would be an ugly one.”

“If he works security, he might have been able to give them access to the plant.” Hailey comments.

“We need to find out if he did.” Voight says. “Maybe they had to give up and cut their losses.”

“Even if they did.” Jay says. “They’ll find a way into the plant or somewhere else they can cause a lot of damage.”

“We need to find them too.” Voight agrees. “We’ve got pods from the park where he was found and patrol is canvassing for victims. Was there a missing persons report?”

“No.” Jay says. “I do have a next of kin, a sister who lives in Englewood.”

“Take Hailey and make the notification.” Voight orders. “And then head out to the plant. We need to narrow down when he was kidnapped.”

He nods, reaching for his jacket and heading for the stairs with Hailey following.

“Sorry for ditching you earlier.” he says quietly.

“Don’t worry about it.” she tells him. “You okay?”

“It… uh… it threw me for a minute. But I’m good.” he tells her honestly. “I talked to Will.”

She nods, squeezing his arm as they split, going to opposite sides of the truck.

“We need to handle this.” he says as he starts the engine. “But maybe when it’s over we can do our thing?”

“Of course.” she tells him quickly.

He offers her a smile and she feels her stomach flip. As if she would ever deny him their thing.

The sister is shattered by the news but can’t tell them anything. She and Darren don’t see each other often and haven’t spoken even by phone for almost two weeks.

After making sure a neighbor is able to sit with her, Jay and Hailey head to the plant.

It isn’t much more productive.

Darren had taken an unexpected vacation a little over a week ago and nobody has heard from him since.

They are able to ascertain that his credentials haven’t been used to access the plant since then. Jay encourages the management to increase security until they can find the killers and to ensure that his access his terminated immediately.

After getting information on any threats that have been made they reluctantly leave, calling Voight with an update as soon as they get outside.

They get their first big break in the case just as they pull out of the plant.

And it isn’t a good one.

A large truck comes out of nowhere to ram into the passenger side of the truck as Jay pulls onto the road, sending the truck careening off the road to impact the security fence.

Jay is tossed around roughly by the impact, head bouncing off the door several times before the truck comes to a stop.

He looks over, blinking to clear his vision to see Hailey slumped against the console, the door of the truck brutally indented and blood running down the right side of her face.

“Hailey!” he shouts, reaching over to place his fingers against the side of her neck while he reaches for the radio with his other hand. “5021 George. Need an ambulance and CFD to the Water Treatment Plant, Officer injured. Suspect vehicle rammed us off the road.”

His door is pulled open and he glances back to see two individuals in dark clothes and ski masks standing behind him.

“Who the hell are you?” he snarls.

It’s a dumb question. It’s whoever had murdered Darren Redford. But why come after them? This doesn’t move whatever plan Darren had spoiled by refusing to talk forward.

“You’re coming with us.” the man says, pointing a rifle at him.

So they can torture him like they’d tortured Darren his mind is quick to supply but he shoves the panic down. This isn’t the time.

“You leave her alone.” he says.

Hailey’s hurt but she’s breathing and her heart is beating. Paramedics are on the way and they’ll take care of her.

“Get out of the truck.” the man snaps back and Jay unbuckles his seat belt, sliding down with his hands up.

His gun is pulled from his holster and thrown carelessly onto the seat. It’s followed by his phone and then he’s being shoved away from the truck and toward a dark SUV.

He ends up in the backseat, sandwiched between two men with guns as the doors slam closed.

He hasn’t been restrained but that doesn’t make him feel any better about the whole situation.

He tries telling himself that he doesn’t care what they do to him as long as Hailey is okay but the truth is that he does care.

He cares a lot.

They can beat him, shock him, burn him and he really won’t care that much. He can take a beating and keep on kicking. He always could, even in elementary school when his worst enemies were bullies on the playground.

But if they fuck around with needles there’s a good chance he’ll lose his shit.

And Will is definitely going to have to come to his apartment with his flu shot next year.

“So what’s the plan then?” he says darkly. “Cause things didn’t work out so well with your friend, Redford, did they?”

“Should be more worried about yourself than our plans.” the man in the front seat says, turning to look at him. “You’ve seen what we do to the people that we need information from.”

“Yeah.” Jay scoffs. “And what exactly is that you want to know?”

“Nothing.” the man says. “But I saw you at the scene, saw you when your team found Redford’s body. Something that we did to him got to you. And I want to know what.”

Jay’s stomach flips but he forces his face to remain neutral.

“That’s a pretty dumb reason to kidnap a cop. Did you even think this through? My team is going to find you. And whatever plan you had goes out the window.”

“I don’t think so.” the man says. “But it doesn’t matter. I want to see you break.”

Jay returns the eager, overly exciting look with a glare and doesn’t say anything.

All too soon, they arrive at a warehouse in a dying industrial district. He’s pulled from the car and drug inside, strapped tightly to a chair in the middle of the open room.

His captors start small, attacking him with their feet and fists.

The blows are painful but nothing that he hasn’t endured before and they quickly abandon that method.

The man from the car is just standing there nearby, watching him and Jay can see him mentally checking something off his list.

He hands one of his men a knife and Jay just raises an eyebrow as it bites into his skin.

He chuckles, waving to them to keep cutting and Jay rolls his eyes, trying to force his tense muscles to relax.

When the man finally waves them off, he looks down to see the words ‘filthy pig’ carved into his chest.

They try electricity next and try as he might, he can’t hold back the screams that escape him with every press of the cattle prod against his vulnerable flesh.

But it doesn’t even come close to breaking him and the man quickly sees that, shaking his head after only five shocks and waving his men on to the next torment on his list.

Waterboarding is hell on earth and anyone who tells you otherwise has never experienced it or is lying to you.

He can’t help fighting back as he’s released from the chair and taken over to the slanted table.

It doesn’t take a genius to know what’s up next and while he can ultimately handle it, while it won’t be what the bastard is looking for, that doesn’t mean that he’s ready to let it happen.

A blow to the back of the head sends him tumbling to the ground and then they take hold of his arms and drag him over to the table.

He doesn’t get much chance to fight back, still disoriented from the hit, before he’s strapped down, wrists and ankles first and then additional straps ensuring that he can’t move even a little.

Soaked cloth is placed over his face and he quickly holds his breath.

He was trained for this. It doesn’t make it pleasant but it does mean that he knows everything the US Army has been able to learn over its extensive history about surviving being waterboarded.

Then water is pouring over his face and all he can do is struggle against the straps holding him down, struggle to get free, struggle to breathe.

The water stops and he coughs hard, choking and spluttering as he tries to clear his airway, tries to catch his breath.

The man is leaning over him, watching with a detached interest.

“Interesting.” he says finally. “That is when Redford started sobbing, begging us to stop. When he gave up the first code.”

Jay glares at him.

Someone grabs his hand and he screams as they jerk his index finger harshly to the side, snapping the delicate bones.

“That … shooting hand… fucker.” he chokes out and the man laughs.

“I’m so glad I’ve had the chance to play with you.” he says with a wide grin. “I’ve never had so much fun in my life.”

His hand closes around Jay’s throat and he tenses, hands pulling desperately against the straps binding them as it tightens and his air is cut off.

But their hold is unrelenting and as he thrashes about, dark spots begin to appear at the corners of his vision.

The man holds his grip until Jay starts to black out and then releases it.

“Maybe he needs longer.” one of the other men suggests.

“He reacted so severely to seeing signs that it had been done to someone else.” the man says, shaking his head. “It won’t take more than one time to get the reaction I’m looking for.”

He’s burned, first with a cigar and then with a hot poker, whipped, and sits for nearly an hour in the complete, deafened, darkness of sensory deprivation.

None of it is pleasant and a number of agonized screams are drawn from his throat. But never once does he lose control the way that the man wants so desperately to see.

Not until he’s strapped back to that damn table and the man wheels over a small tray with needles lined up on it.

His pulse immediately begins to race, eyes locked on the tray no matter how hard he tries to rip his gaze away.

No longer is he worried about Hailey, wondering how badly she was injured, if she’s awake and worrying about him yet.

All he can think about is those needles. About what the man is planning to do with them.

Pain spreads through his right shoulder, lancing down his entire arm and he lets out a choked whimper despite knowing that the man hasn’t done anything yet.

A damp, musty smell invades his senses and he writhes against the restraining straps.

“What. is the code?” a voice echoes in his ear and he turns his head.

He needs to calm down. He can’t lose control now, can’t let this bastard win.

Five things he can see.

Walls. Flick – Needles.

His breathing accelerates; short, gasping breaths that aren’t bringing in any air.

He can hear screams in the distance, the rustle of footsteps on uneven stone, and gunfire.

No.

He’s in Chicago.

He’s not there anymore. His team is coming for him. He just needs to stay strong.

Stay present.

“This is it, isn’t it?” a voice says next to him, the man unwittingly helping to ground him in the moment. “This is what shattered you yesterday morning. The needle marks on Redford’s body. You realized what had been done to him. Perhaps because you’ve experienced it.”

Jay is shaking, still breathing hard, but at least the flashbacks are held at bay for a moment.

The man picks up a needle from the tray and he winces, pulling away from him as much as he can as another whimper escapes his throat.

The man ghosts the needle across his bare flesh, raising a trail of goosebumps in it’s wake and Jay closes his eyes.

“Please don’t.” he whispers. “Please.”

The needle is lifted and moved to hover over his left hip.

Jay starts screaming, thrashing wildly against the restraints.

“Get that away from me you motherfucker.” he shouts before his words devolve into a stream of threats and insults and then further into incoherent pleas.

It doesn’t take long to get his first glimpse of Jay as the team storms across the warehouse floor, shouts of ‘police’, ‘don’t move’ and ‘get away from him’ flowing easily from their mouths.

It’s the only easy thing about the situation because it’s also not long before he realizes that Jay is completely panicking.

“Drop the needle now!” he booms as he sees the object in the man’s hand, sees it’s identical twin buried deep in Jay’s hip.

The man’s face twists in a disgusting fury but he does as ordered.

The other men are equally quick to give up, raising their hands and stepping away from Jay.

As soon as hands are on them, beginning the process of cuffing them and searching for weapons, Kevin holsters his weapon and presses close to Jay’s side.

“No please.” Jay is still begging, sobbing as he fights against the restraints. “Please don’t. Please no. Please.”

Kevin ignores the litany of desperate pleas, resting a hand on his friend’s shoulder.

“Easy Jay.” he says. “It’s over. You’re safe now. We’ve got you and we won’t let them hurt you anymore.”

Jay doesn’t respond but the pace of his pleas slows slightly, a slight twist of confusion settling on his face and Kevin keeps talking, falling into a steady cycle of reassurances.

Silence falls around them, Voight pulling back the team to give them space as Kevin fights to bring Jay back to the present.

After what seems like forever, Jay’s struggles finally fall still and he’s blinking up at Kevin with something approximating clarity in his eyes.

“Hey.” he says, forcing a smile onto his face as he starts to unfasten the straps holding his friend down. “There you are are.”

“Kev?” Jay gasps.

“I’m here.” he says. “Whole team is here and those bastards are getting locked away forever. Got an ambulance and paramedics waiting to look you over.”

“‘m fine.” Jay says and the smile on Kevin’s face becomes more real.

“Sure you are.” he agrees. “But you know how EMTs are. Get real worried about things like burns and lacerations.”

Jay doesn’t respond to the joke and he sighs.

“You’re beat to hell man. Gotta let them do their job.”

“Hailey okay?”

“Couple fractured ribs, broken arm and a concussion.” Kevin fills him in. “But she’s awake and spitting mad that we wouldn’t let her come on the raid.”

Jay nods and Kev turns away to signal to Voight that they’re ready for the bus.

Jay grabs his arm and he looks back.

“No needles.” Jay whispers. “Please.”

He frowns.

An IV is a given with Jay’s condition. He doesn’t want to make a promise that he can’t keep but he also doesn’t want to refuse his friend this one request.

A very justified request under the circumstances.

“Can’t give you pain meds without an IV.” he says slowly.

“Don’t want them.” Jay says, shaking his head.

“Jay.” he says, biting his lip. “I wish I could give this to you, man, really I do but the IV is not negotiable. What can I do to make it easier for you?”

Jay stares back at him, eyes watering.

“Stay?” he finally whispers and Kevin puts his hand over the one still resting on his arm.

“Done.” he promises. “Not going anywhere, bro.”

Chapter Text

“5021 George. 10-1 at 2650 W Fulton Street. Officer down, need an ambulance and CFD.”

Hailey looks up in shock as she hears her husband’s voice over the radio set up in the bullpen.

What the hell?

Intelligence scrambles down to their cars, racing to Fulton Street.

An ambulance is already on scene, the paramedics working on the young patrol officer.

The patrol car had been forced off the road, resting in a shallow ravine.

Hailey jogs over to the ambulance, greeting the paramedics.

“How is he?” she asks.

“He hit his head pretty hard in the crash.” the medic tells her. “It’s a good thing we got here when we did. He needs to get to Med.”

“Where’s Detective Halstead?”

“Officer Tanika was the only one on scene when we arrived.” she’s told. “We have to go.”

Hailey stares after them in shock as they load the stretcher into the ambulance and pull away.

Then where is Jay?

She turns to look for Voight and sees him talking to Deputy Superintendent Austin. What is he doing here?

As she gets closer, she can hear parts of the conversation.

“This doesn’t look good, Hank.” Austin is saying. “We don’t have dash cam, there’s no traffic cameras in the area and the only witness who might have been able to vouch for Halstead is unconscious.”

“Nobody in Intelligence knew you were going to arrest Halstead until you walked into the bullpen.” Voight argues. “That doesn’t leave any time for him to have set up a jailbreak.”

“So maybe it was you who arranged this.” Austin says. “It wouldn’t be the first time.”

“It doesn’t matter.” Hailey jumps in, cutting Voight off before he can escalate this. “We need to track down whoever was behind this and find Jay. We can sort out if this was a rescue or a kidnapping later.”

“I can’t let your team investigate this.” Austin says, shaking his head. “You’re too close.”

They might actually find Jay.

Hailey quashes the cynical thoughts for the moment.

Austin walks away and she turns to Voight.

“He’s involved.” she says quietly and he nods.

“We just have to prove it.” he says.

“And find Jay.” Hailey adds. “They can’t afford to give him a chance to tell his side of the story.”

He may already be dead.

It isn’t as hard as they might have expected to link Austin to Jay’s kidnapping.

Because that’s exactly what it was, despite the doubts that Austin had stirred up through the department.

Intelligence had located a vehicle nearby the site of the crash on security cameras. And the vehicle had come back to the CPD auction lot, signed out by none other than the Deputy Superintendent himself.

Once they’d shared that information with the Superintendent, it had been all too easy to get full access to Austin’s office and electronics.

“I’ve got a flash drive.” Kim announces, holding it up where she’s searching the desk.

Adam reaches for it, plugging it into his laptop.

“Two video files.” he says, opening the first one. “Hey, lookie here, the missing dash cam footage.”

Jay’s voice fills the room.

“Tanika? Hey, come on, talk to me. Are you okay up there?”

Moments later, the kidnappers arrive, telling a confused and resistant Jay that he’s coming with them.

And then gold hits.

“If you let me radio for an ambulance for him I won’t fight you.” Jay says. “I’ll come quietly.”

“He willingly went with them to protect Tanika.” Hailey says, shaking her head with a fond smile.

“Well now we’re going to find him, get him back.” Voight says. “I’m going to go have a chat with Austin.”

“Hang on boss.” Adam says. “Second file is… oh shit.”

Voight storms into the unfamiliar interrogation room, throwing the laptop on the table in front of Austin and hitting play.

Jay grunts as a fist slams into his face, throwing him forcefully onto his back. A kick to the stomach follows and then three separate men are standing over him, their booted feet slamming repeatedly into whatever part of Jay they can reach as he curls up, trying to protect himself.

Voight pauses the video.

“You couldn’t help yourself, could you?” he snaps. “It wasn’t enough to arrange for him to be kidnapped and beaten, you wanted to see it for yourself.”

“I don’t know what you think this proves.” Austin says. “They sent me that video demanding a ransom.”

“And you didn’t notify anyone?”

“I hadn’t had a chance.”

“They send you the dash cam footage you claimed didn’t exist too?”

“Yes.”

“Only that footage starts before the kidnappers got to the car and extends until after the paramedics arrived.” Voight says. “They never touched the camera system.”

There’s a knock on the door and Adam sticks his head in.

“Phone records.” he says, handing them over to Voight. “There’s one number in particular that catches my attention. He calls them just after the patrol car drove away from the station with Jay in the backseat. They called him just after Jay’s radio call went out. Burner phone.”

“You really thought we weren’t going to look into this, didn’t you?” Voight asks the man, shaking his head. “Or that you could handicap us enough to keep us from getting anywhere.”

Austin doesn’t say anything, seeming to realize that he’s not getting out of this.

“Where is Halstead?” Voight demands.

“I don’t know.” he says. “I told them not to tell me those kinds of details.”

“Then I want a name.” Voight says. “Who did you pay to do this?”

“His name is Terrance Watkins.” he says, looking down. “He was a CI when I worked in organized crime.”

“Do you know names of anyone else who was involved?”

“He said he would take care of it. I didn’t ask questions.”

“Hey boss?” Adam says, still looking through the records. “He’s been exchanging calls with that burner phone for a couple days. Even before Jennings was killed.”

“This wasn’t an opportunist grab was it?” Voight asks. “This whole mess has been you, right from the beginning.”

“Someone needed to shine some light on the way your unit steps outside the lines whenever it benefits you.” Austin says. “Even if it meant crossing a few lines myself.”

“All we’ve got here is you arranging to have a gang banger murdered.” Voight says, leaning forward. “You arranging to have a Chicago Police Detective kidnapped and an officer put in the hospital. You covering up evidence. My unit has handled this by the book.”

Austin just makes a face and shakes his head.

“I don’t have time for this.” Voight says, shaking his head. “I have to go find Jay.”

He stands up, following Adam out of the room and meeting up with the rest of his team and the Superintendent in the hallway.

“I will handle Austin.” the Superintendent says. “I’ve already reached out to Internal Affairs and the District Attorney’s office.”

“We’re going to focus on Detective Halstead.” Voight says. “What did we find on this guy, Watkins?”

“Austin was actually telling the truth about him being a CI.” Hailey says. “But he’s been off paper almost ten years. LKA seven years old but worth checking out. Long list of associates to go through.”

“Anything come up on a deed search?”

“Not in his name.” Kim says. “Or linked to any relatives.”

“Next of kin?”

“His mother, Janice, lives in an assisted living facility.” Kevin says.

“Alright.” he says. “Let’s run with it then. Hailey, you and Kev go talk to his mom. Kim and Adam check out the LKA.”

They scatter.

The mom ends up being the key.

The payments for her room at the facility have come not from Watkins but from a friend of his. The friend’s name links them to a vehicle and they are able to track it far enough on plate scanners to find a warehouse.

Where they find Terrance Watkins with a gun pointed at Jay’s head.

Two minutes and a bullet in Watkin’s head later, Hailey is kneeling next to her partner who hasn’t moved.

He groans when she cuts his hands free and rolls him onto his back but his eyes don’t open.

Even when she asks him to open his eyes, all he can do is twitch his fingers but it’s enough. Hailey brushes against his hand, taking hold of it when he doesn’t show any pain.

She does her best to reassure him that’s his safe, that paramedics are coming; tells him that Austin is getting the book thrown at him.

She’s surprised when he starts talking, choking out the name of the patrolman who’d been injured during his abduction.

“Officer Tanika is going to be just fine.” she promises him. “You did good getting him help so quickly. He had a pretty serious concussion.”

He passes out not long after that, just as the paramedics rush up to them.

She’s trying not to panic but it’s hard.

She’d seen the video these guys had sent to Austin. Even less than a minute of the beating that he’d taken has her worried and she knows it had gone on a lot longer than that.

The worry doesn’t even start to lift until nearly four days later when his eyes finally flicker open.

He still can’t talk because of the ventilator or really move but she’ll take just having his blue-green eyes open and staring back at her, his hand tightly squeezing hers.

“Welcome back.” she says, leaning forward to kiss his forehead. “I missed you.”

He just blinks at her.

Once.

Twice.

Three times.

She smiles. Everyone always jokes about the way that they can have entire conversations with their eyes and she’s sure they’ll have plenty of those as his lungs continue to heal.

But this is a little more straightforward than that.

“I love you too.”

Chapter Text

It’s so hot.

Sweltering heat is almost a daily occurrence but the suffocating lack of air is new.

They almost always have windows and the gunner hatch open when driving. It’s essential to keeping airflow through the cab.

There’s some air moving near his right hand but not nearly enough. And it’s dark, nearly pitch black.

What happened?

He thinks he remembers some kind of accident. Had they hit an IED? Or maybe crashed into something.

Why can’t he remember?

And where are his guys? There’s no way they would have gone off and left him alone and injured in the vehicle.

“Mouse?” he calls, his voice breathy and weak, coughing as he inhales a mouthful of musty, chemical infused air.

There must have been damage to the coolant system because all he can taste is antifreeze.

“Pete? Matt? Eric?”

Talking makes his chest hurt and nobody is responding to him. Could they still be unconscious?

He feels around in the dark.

His leg screams with the movement but he ignores it, focusing on his task.

He doesn’t find anything. No people, no seats, no dashboard.

Where the hell is he? The metallic frame around him supports a vehicle but suggests a trunk. And humvees don’t have trunks.

He moves his hand back toward the airflow, feeling around the gap in the metal.

It’s shaped like a tail light. Mostly.

So he’s in a trunk. But where? And how?

He closes his eyes, the dark feeling less suffocating that way, and makes a list of what he knows.

He’s in the trunk of a car. The tail light had been knocked out but the frame has also been warped, possibly by an accident.

It’s dark, even through the hole from the tail light. And it’s still hot as hell.

He’s alone. Definitely in the trunk and nobody has responded to his calls so it’s likely that nobody is nearby.

He can smell chemicals; antifreeze but also he thinks something else.

He’s injured. It’s difficult to assess in the dark but so far he’s aware of his leg, his chest and his head.

A breeze moves past the hand that he’s still sticking out of the hole from the tail light.

A gentle, cool breeze that doesn’t feel anything like Afghanistan.

And doesn’t carry any sand.

Could he be in Chicago? His memories of getting here are so muddled that he supposes anything is possible.

And why does he feel so hot?

An ache pulses through his leg as if in response to the question.

A fever.

He feels his leg, finding scraps of fabric tied around his calf where the pain seems to be originating.

It feels more like a t-shirt than bandages so he must have done it himself, to stop the bleeding.

He thinks he feels some dried blood on the material but it’s not actively soaking through so he’d succeeded.

He wants to rip it off, to check for infection and try to figure out what had happened to his leg but he knows he won’t be able to tell either in the dark.

He’s just liable to restart the bleeding.

And since the feel of his jacket against bare skin suggests that it was his own t-shirt that he used, he’s pretty well out of supplies to stop it again if it does.

He lets his head thud back against the carpeted floor beneath him, immediately regretting it both for the pain that shoots through his skull and for the cloud of thick, musty dust that it shakes free.

He rolls toward the hole, gasping for fresh air as he coughs, arm snaking around his aching chest.

He finally stops coughing but it’s still next to impossible to draw in a breath.

He needs air.

He still doesn’t even know where he is and now he can’t breathe.

Someone has to be looking for him by now, right? Whatever had happened, however he’d gotten here, wherever he is, someone must be looking for him.

Whoever they are, they need to hurry.

Because it’s getting harder and harder to breathe.

He gives up, sinking into the comforting darkness.

Hailey stands back from the car, watching while Kelly Severide uses the jaws of life to pry open the trunk.

It’s nearly midnight. Fifteen hours since her partner was lured into an ambush and kidnapped.

They’d finally located the car that he’d been thrown into, crashed into a stand of trees on the side of a deserted road in the middle of nowhere.

The driver had been killed on impact. Whether any other players involved in this had been unable to find them or they’d taken this as a bad sign and given up on whatever plan they’d had doesn’t matter right now.

Not to her at least.

Kim, Kevin and Adam are looking into the driver and trying to identify associates.

Hailey only has eyes for the trunk of the car.

She’d been the first on scene, had gotten a look at her partner through the kicked out tail light.

Had shoved her arm through the hole to press her fingers into the side of his neck, closing her eyes as she felt the weak pulse beat against them.

Had screamed at him, begging him to wake up and answer her.

But he’d been unresponsive, not reacting in the slightest to her touch or her voice.

And then the fire department had reached them and she’d been forced to step back, to watch them work.

Sylvie and Emily stand next to her, bouncing slightly on the balls of their feet as they prepare to dive in the moment the twisted metal is jerked apart.

As if prodded forward by her thoughts, a creaking, groaning sound fills the air and the trunk flies open.

Severide barely has time to get out of the way before the paramedics dive in, assessing her partner for injuries.

Scraps of his t-shirt are wrapped around his right calf, traces of blood appearing at the center. His head is bleeding, a large gash present on the left side.

Severide helps them lift him out, getting him settled on the stretcher and he reacts for the first time with a pained groan.

Sylvie pulls his jacket off of him and they all stare for just a little too long at the bruising on his right side.

“He must have been slammed pretty hard in the crash.” she says after a moment, shaking the shock off and turning her attention to his arm to start an IV. “Looks like broken ribs for sure.”

An oxygen mask is slid over his face and he coughs weakly.

“Nasty fumes in that trunk.” Severide comments. “But I don’t smell anything too toxic.”

“He’s a little hypoxic.” Emily says. “I think his ribs on top of the limited air was making it hard to breathe.”

Sylvie is prying his eyelids open, checking pupil response.

“Concussion but I think it’s minor.” she says. “We’ll have to wait for the CT to know for sure.”

“Temperature is up.” Emily comments, reaching over to cut the t-shirt away from his leg with trauma sheers. “And I think this is the source. It must be infected.”

“Let’s get him to Med.” Sylvie says.

There’s at least three hospitals closer to them right now than Med so the fact that he’s stable enough to make the trip to his preferred one does a lot to soothe Hailey’s frazzled nerves.

She walks alongside as they wheel him to the ambulance, holding his hand and wishing he would open his eyes and insist that he’s ‘just fine’.

But he doesn’t.

Not as the stretcher is jostled by being lifted into the back of the ambulance.

Not the entire drive to Med as Sylvie flits around him, checking vitals and checking on the bullet wound in his leg.

Not as the stretcher is pulled out of the ambulance, Hailey pushed back as he’s raced into a trauma bay.

Even nearly an hour later when she’s shown into his room, being briefed by Will on his minor concussion, three broken ribs, and a nasty infection, he still doesn’t stir.

She sits by his bed the entire day, eating whatever Will brings her and being plied with coffee by all of the nurses on the floor.

The only times she leaves are when she has to run to the bathroom because of that coffee and she almost denies the next cup they bring her but she’s also been awake for almost two days at this point so she accepts it.

Even so, she falls asleep a little after dinner, her head resting on the side of his bed.

She wakes up to him tossing anxiously in his sleep, whispered muttering only muffled further by the mask still over his face.

“Easy, baby.” she soothes. “It’s okay, Jay. You’re okay.”

Hearing Mouse and humvee cross his lips she stands up, sitting on the edge of the bed and reaching up with the wet washcloth to wipe his face and neck.

“You’re in Chicago, Jay.” she says as she works. “At Med sleeping off an ugly car accident and a gunshot wound. Your leg is infected but Will says the antibiotics are already working, that you’ll be fine in no time. Mouse is in Afghanistan but he’s coming home for a couple days next month and you guys have plans to go to a Bears game.”

He starts to settle and she keeps talking.

She’s partway through updating him on the case, what little she knows anyway, when his eyes flicker open.

“Hail?” He rasps.

“Hey you.” she says, setting aside the washcloth to push the call button and then taking his hand.

“Feel like shit.” he mutters.

“I know.” she tells him, rubbing her thumb over the back of his hand. “But you’re doing better already.”

“Happened?”

“What do you remember?”

“S’fuzzy. Car accident? But… not a humvee?”

“Not a humvee.” she confirms. “We were at a crime scene when you saw a suspicious person. They fled, you pursued. Right into the ambush. They shot you in the leg and tossed you in the trunk of a car. Managed to lose the pursuit and then crashed. It took us a while to find the car.”

“What… they want?”

“We’re not sure.” she admits. “The driver was killed in the crash. I think the team was bringing in a suspect last time we talked but I was more concerned about your unconscious ass.”

He cracks a tired grin and she smiles back.

His eyes are getting heavy and she debates trying to keep him awake until the doctor gets there before deciding against it.

They can talk to him the next time he’s awake.

“Go to sleep, baby.” she says, leaning forward to kiss his forehead. “I’ll be here when you wake up. I love you.”

“Love you too.” he whispers, eyes slipping closed and his breathing evening out.

Chapter Text

Prologue

Jay hates court.

Hates being forced into this monkey suit, hates being quizzed by sleazy defense attorneys poking holes in anything they can in an attempt to get their client off.

Its even worse on an undercover case.

The look of hurt betrayal that Peter Kirkpatrick keeps giving him from his seat at the defense table stabs into his very core.

He’s not a bad kid, just happens to have rather unfortunate parentage. His dad, Logan Kirkpatrick, runs one of the largest organized crime families in Chicago.

And through Jay befriending the man’s son, he’d managed to get what his unit needed to take him down.

Peter had been offered a deal. In exchange for his testimony against his father he’ll only do ten years if convicted.

Finally, the judge calls for the defendant to rise and asks the jury to relay their verdict.

Jay’s eyes close as the foreman announces that they’ve found Peter guilty.

It’s over.

Finally.

“You!”

His eyes fly open to see Peter turned to face him.

“I trusted you!” he screams, diving over the dividing railing. “You destroyed my family!”

The bailiffs move in, grabbing him before he even gets close to Jay and he watches, frozen, as the kid is drug back through the gate and placed into cuffs.

“You are remanded into custody pending your sentencing hearing.” the judge says, raising his voice to be heard over the almost feral growls. “And I would suggest that you find it in yourself to be more calm when that time comes.”

Peter is drug out of the courtroom, locking eyes with Jay as he passes through the doors.

“You’ll pay for this.” he hisses.

Once the doors are closed, the judge turns to Jay.

“Detective Halstead, perhaps you might consider skipping the sentencing.” he suggests, not unkindly.

Jay nods, turning and leaving the courtroom.

ten years later

Jay walks back to his truck with a cup of coffee in each hand and a bag tucked under his arm with one of the pastries that Hailey likes. It had been a little busier than usual today but its worth it.

So he’ll be twenty minutes early instead of thirty.

Only when he gets to the truck, the windshield has been shattered and he groans, setting the coffees on the hood and reaching for his phone.

Something hard presses into his back and he goes still.

“I wouldn’t do that if I was you.”

“What do you want?” he asks, eyes darting around to track passing pedestrians, innocent bystanders who might be injured if this goes sideways.

“I made a promise to you.” his attacker answers. “A long time ago. It’s time for me to keep it.”

The voice is familiar somehow but he can’t quite place it.

His cuffs are lifted from his belt and the gun nudged against his back. He reluctantly puts his hands in place, grimacing as the cuffs are locked around them.

Bystanders seem to be realizing what’s happening here and moving away, a few people on theirs phones with who he really hopes is dispatch.

His weapon is pulled from the holster and he listens to the mag drop, the distinct sound of the slide being worked and the chambered round ejected.

The gun never leaves his back and he wonders if there’s more than one person behind him or if it’s one person who’s familiar with operating a semi-automatic weapon one handed.

He hears the gun drop to the ground and then his phone is being pulled from his pocket.

“Let’s go.”

The gun nudges to the left and he slowly turns that direction before stepping forward.

“Silver Chrysler.”

As he approaches the car the trunk pops open. And then he hears sirens split the air.

“Oh they won’t get here in time. Don’t you worry, Jay. Or can I call you Alan?”

The shock and panic that the name cause him cut off abruptly as something rams hard against the base of his skull and he tumbles gracelessly into the trunk of the car.

The last thing he sees before darkness overtakes him is the smirking face of Peter Kirkpatrick staring down at him.

He wakes up somewhere dark.

There are lights somewhere above him but in his hazy, semi-conscious at best state he can’t tell how far they are.

“He’s awake.”

Ugh.

Had someone really been sitting around, just waiting for him to wake up?

A face is abruptly directly over his and he starts but can’t seem to make his body move.

“Welcome back, Alan.” Peter says. “I didn’t think I’d hit you quite that hard.”

It’s probably more about where he’d been hit than the force behind it but Jay can’t be bothered to try to correct the man.

Peter has aged quite a lot since the last time Jay had seen him. apparently prison hadn’t agreed with him.

“What do you want?” he growls.

“Do you remember what I said when they were taking me away after the verdict?” Peter asks.

Jay remembers.

It had been the first time that someone he’d arrested had threatened him, at least in a way that he’d believed they were serious.

But over time the memory had faded.

He hadn’t even thought of it when he’d received the phone call last month that the man was being released.

Which was stupid.

“I’ve thought long and hard about ways that I could do this.” Peter says and Jay frowns as he watches the man prep a needle.

But he can still barely move and he can’t react, can’t push him away as the needle is jabbed into his stomach.

“You’ve been given a paralytic.” Peter says smugly. “You won’t be able to do anything about any of this.”

Any of what? He’d give his right arm to know what the asshole is planning.

But Peter just walks away, leaving him lying on the floor.

Hailey is the first to crash into the basement, catching sight of her partner and nearly forgetting to check the room for hostiles before holstering her weapon and skidding to her knees next to him.

There’s blood everywhere and his skin is so pale it’s nearly translucent.

God. What did the asshole do to him?

‘He’ll never see it coming.’ he’d said as Adam was cuffing him. ‘It’ll be right there, but he won’t even notice it until it’s already killed him.’

Based on the copious amounts of blood that have exited his body through the stab wound in his lower abdomen she can’t imagine that Jay wouldn’t have noticed this.

“Hailey?” he breathes as she reaches him, startling her.

He hasn’t moved yet and she hadn’t realized he was even conscious.

“Paralytic.” he says, reading her confusion. “Can’t move. ‘n he injected me with something else too. Can’t feel my torso.”

He doesn’t know he’s been stabbed.

“5021 Henry. Need paramedics in the basement as soon as the building is clear.”

She sets aside her radio and makes eye contact.

“Good.” she says, offering him a weak smile. “That means this won’t hurt as much as it should.”

She shoves her hands over the wound and presses down hard, only eliciting a confused look from him.

“He stabbed you.” she says gently. “I think the numbing agent was so you wouldn’t feel it, wouldn’t know it was killing you until it was too late.”

“Like he didn’t know I was killing him until it was too late.” he says, eyes shuttering.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Jay.” she tells him.

“He trusted me, Hailey.” he says. “And I destroyed his family.”

“His dad destroyed his family.” she corrects. “And who knows how many others.”

He doesn’t respond and she sighs.

They can deal with this when he isn’t bleeding out on a cold, stone floor.

His eyelids start to flutter, the blood loss catching up with him even though the lack of shock has held off a lot of the signs that she’s used to seeing.

“Jay.” she says. “Stay awake for me.”

“Thanks… for comin’ for me.” he slurs slowly and she presses down harder despite knowing that it won’t do anything.

“Jay!” she shouts. “No checking out. Don’t you dare.”

His eyes slip closed and she pulls a shaky hand away from his wound to press fingers into the side of his neck.

His pulse is thready; fast and unsteady and she doesn’t like it at all.

She hears paramedics thundering into the room and shouts without looking up.

“He’s lost a lot of blood, just passed out and his pulse is… not good.”

They don’t waste anytime on scene, attaching monitors and then roughly transferring him onto the backboard and backpedaling for the door.

Bandaging, an IV, oxygen and everything else can happen in the ambulance but they need to get him to Med.

Now.

She does her best not to look at the team as they pass them on their way up, not wanting to see the horrified looks on their faces. The sounds of their attempts to offer him encouragement are hard enough.

Even more so when the monitor nestled atop his legs transitions from an unsteady rhythm to a solid whine.

No.

They get outside, setting the backboard on a stretcher and then Sylvie jumps up on top of him, starting compressions.

Emily doesn’t stop, pushing the stretcher toward the ambulance.

Severide approaches them at a run, Hailey hadn’t even known that Squad responded to the call, helping her lift him up into the ambulance and then running around to drive so that both paramedics can climb into the back.

They don’t push Hailey out, despite things being a little cramped, Emily just hands her the AED and tells her to set it up and then starts working on an IV.

Fluids won’t save him but they might buy him a little time.

Hailey opens the package with shaking hands, working around Sylvie to get the pads in the right place.

She’d been trained how to use one of these in the academy but considers herself lucky to not have needed one since.

The three of them work well together, showing in the way that she and Emily weave around each other and Sylvie, getting the AED ready to go and the IV and oxygen in place without having to stop CPR and all in the back of a moving vehicle.

It takes four shocks to get his heart going again and there’s nothing comforting about the resulting rhythm.

The ambulance falls into nervous anticipation.

There isn’t much they can do right now except to hope that Severide drives like a bat out of hell and that it’s enough.

And all Hailey can think is that Jay thanking her for coming for him might have been his last words.

Might be the last thing she ever hears him say.

He flat lines again as they pull up at Med and this time it’s Emily who wastes no time getting into position and beginning compressions as the stretcher is yanked from the back of the ambulance.

They don’t waste time in the ED, Marcel taking over for Sylvie before they rush him directly to surgery, leaving Hailey and the paramedics staring after them in shock.

Will stumbles out of a bay a moment later, looking at the three of them covered in blood and then glancing toward the doors to the OR.

“Wha-” he cuts off abruptly, rushing through the doors to find out what’s going on.

Hailey sinks to the floor.

****AN:// What would y'all do to me if I ended it right here? I guess I'd rather not find out. *****

Will doesn’t look okay when he comes back through those doors almost two hours later.

No.

He can’t … they have to… he has to be…

“He’s alive.”

Will’s words cut through her spiral and she looks up.

“I didn’t think a human could survive on that little blood volume but they managed to get him back. And then once more on the table before they were able to get him stabilized.” he says, looking old and tired. “But the stubborn bastard held on.”

“Can I see him?” she asks weakly.

“I’ll take you up.” he says. “Just don’t expect much. He’s still intubated and they plan to keep him sedated at least for twenty fours to let his body rest, get through a few more transfusions.”

That’s okay.

Hailey doesn’t need to talk to him.

She just needs to hear his heart beating.

To prove to herself that those weren’t his last words after all.

Chapter Text

Under normal circumstances, Trudy never would have buzzed him up the stairs, no matter how many bombs he threatened to detonate.

But the precinct is unusually crowded today, an elementary school taking a tour and she wants to get him away from the masses of helpless children.

So she decides to trust the elite unit upstairs to handle the man.

But he isn’t going up there alone.

So instead of letting him through from her desk, she walks up the stairs, scanning her own palm and then holding the gate open for him.

All of Intelligence look up when they walk in, eyes going slightly wide when they register the bomb strapped to the man’s chest.

“Trudy.” Voight greets.

“He wanted to talk to you guys and we have a school group downstairs.” she says matter-of-factly.

She’d made her choice and she’d make it again.

And based on the looks that immediately pass the team’s faces they would all have done the same.

“So what can we do for you, sir?” Voight asks, turning his attention to the man while keeping his tone as level as if they were talking about the weather.

“Well first things first,: the man says. “I’m going to have to ask all of you to lock up your weapons. I know you have somewhere to secure them while you’re in interrogations. That will do fine. One at a time, if you don’t mind.”

The team doesn’t need to talk, silently agreeing on an order and each proceeding over to the lockers to secure their sidearms.

“Phones can just get thrown into your sergeant’s office and then if you’ll just push the desks out to the walls.” the man continues when they’ve finished.

Once they’ve complied he passes around zip ties, waiting for them to slide them over their own wrists before going around the room tightening them with one hand while the other keeps hold of the trigger.

Then he has them sit in a circle on the cleared floor.

“My brother was arrested by your unit.” he says with a smile that doesn’t match his tone. “One year ago today. If the powers that be won’t agree to release him, then I will kill all of you and myself and perhaps that will be good enough.”

“I’m sure they’ll reach out to you soon.” Voight says. “But in the mean time, I have to ask. Are you aware of what your brother did, Eric? The people he hurt?”

It’s almost frightening how quickly a snarl overtakes the smile as his hand comes up with a weapon in hand.

Jay is thrown back by the bullet, landing in the gap between two desks and far enough back that none of them can get a good look at him.

All they can do is glance between his unmoving legs where they poke out and each other.

Had they seen that right?

Had the gun been pointed at his head?

Hailey is halfway off the ground in an attempt to scramble to her partner when Eric swivels the gun over to point at her head.

“Don’t.” he snaps.

“I need to check on him.” she says. “He may need medical attention.”

“I assure you.” Eric says coldly. “Your husband is quite beyond medical attention. And if the rest of you would like to avoid ending up the same way, I suggest you stay put.”

She settles back to the ground, avoiding the gazes of the rest of her unit.

It’s no surprise to any of them that a phone rings less than thirty seconds later.

A gunshot going off has a tendency to speed up negotiations. And not always for the better.

Eric is dismissive, stating his demands and offering them six hours to meet them before hanging up the phone.

He perches on the edge of a desk, looking around at them.

“Well won’t this be fun.”

HOUR ONE: HAILEY

She should be upset.

Should be grieving. Screaming, crying, begging the man to let her see her husband or even attacking him.

Instead she’s sitting here staring at the floor.

Once her initial instinctive move to get to Jay had been cut off her brain had just shut down.

And she doesn’t feel anything.

It doesn’t feel like Jay is dead.

It should feel different, right? Because he’s a part of her. They’d stopped existing as separate people a long time ago.

It should feel like a piece of her soul has been ripped out and stomped on but it doesn’t.

It doesn’t feel like anything and that should scare her but fear is an emotion and that can’t get through the fog that’s surrounding her either.

She forces her head up, focusing on Eric as he perches back on the desk he’d been forced to abandon to answer the phone.

Her team needs her.

She can worry about everything else later.

HOUR TWO: ADAM

Jay can’t possibly be dead.

The guy is like a cat with nine lives. Just when you think he’s down for the count, he’s back with a vengeance.

And he hasn’t used up all nine of them since.

Either the guy had missed or a force field out of some sci-fi movie had buzzed into existence to protect him.

Maybe this had been a rapid fire alien abduction, the fake head shot just the moment of distraction the aliens needed to swap the real Jay out for a dummy of sorts until they finish with him.

Or it’s the worst practical joke in the history of practical jokes.

Probably something that Kevin came up with. Because best friend or not, brother from another mother or not, Kevin comes up with awful practical jokes.

Unlike Jay, who doesn’t get involved in their prank wars very often because they all know that he will destroy them.

Because Jay comes up with the most devious, underhanded and stealthy pranks ever. You don’t see one of them coming until you’re neck deep in the middle of it.

But they’re also funny as hell. Even the person who’s just been had ends up laughing before long.

Huh. Maybe they should drag Jay into more of their prank wars.

If they get the chance. Which they will, because whatever has happened, Jay can’t possibly be dead.

HOUR THREE: TRUDY

That fucking asshole cannot possibly have killed her favorite detective.

She’d shot Antonio the world’s dirtiest look when he’d walked into the precinct that day, his new acquisition for the unit tagging along behind him.

Halstead was a pretty boy and she’d heard rumors that he’d dated Gabby Dawson; while undercover at her bar.

An unprofessional skirt chaser was the last thing she wanted in her district.

But it hadn’t taken long for him to grow on her.

For starters, he wasn’t anywhere near as womanizing as the stories made him seem. In fact, the puppy eyes he watched Erin with a lot of the time indicated that he either didn’t know or didn’t care that his looks could probably have gotten him any woman he wanted.

And furthermore, he was a damn good detective. Good enough to make her believe that Antonio had probably brought him into the unit in spite of his relationship with his sister and not because of it.

And over the last ten years he’d steadily wormed his way into her heart until she could comfortably admit, at least to herself, that he was in the running for her favorite out of all of the cops she’d ever worked for.

She was going to cut Eric’s hand off for having the nerve to point a gun in his direction and pull the trigger.

If Jay was actually dead, things were going to be a whole lot worse for the asshole.

HOUR FOUR: KEVIN

There has to be something they can do.

Maybe if one of them tackles Eric, gets the remote away from him.

Then they can get to Jay, get him to help and take care of him.

There has to be something they can do for him.

If Jay makes it through this, Kevin will finally ask out the ME that he’s been flirting with for the last six months much to Adam’s exasperation.

He’ll call Vinessa more and spend more time with Jordan.

And he’ll get the dog that he’s been thinking about.

Or maybe he’ll start with a goldfish, because their jobs are not really compatible with pets.

But maybe if he gets a dog, Jordan can come by to let it out sometimes and it can help them find the easy trust they’d had when his brother was younger.

Before everything with Roland had sent the siblings that Kevin had raised to Texas.

If Jay makes it through this, Kevin will take it as a sign that he should stop putting off the next stage of his life.

If Jay doesn’t make it through this…

Jay has to make it through this.

Please.

HOUR FIVE: KIM

What are they going to do without Jay?

He’s not just the senior detective in the unit and Voight’s right hand man.

He’s the heart of their team. He keeps Voight as close to the straight and narrow as their boss is willing to go and helps the rest of them remember that Voight’s way of doing things isn’t always the only way.

That sometimes it isn’t even the best way.

He’s the big brother that she’d never had, one of Makayla’s favorite uncles (second only to Kevin) and he’s one of the best people that she knows.

She can’t imagine walking into the bullpen every morning and not seeing him already sitting at his desk, sipping at fresh coffee while he works on paperwork.

Can’t imagine going into some of the situations they face on this job without knowing that he’s there watching her back.

Can’t imagine having someone else on sniper support when things start to get dicey.

Can’t imagine not hearing his laugh while the team gets drinks at Molly’s after a case ended well.

Can’t imagine not feeling his comforting hand on her shoulder as they struggle to come to terms with a case that didn’t end well.

Can’t imagine that she’ll never get to meet baby Upstead, the beautiful healthy baby that Jay and Hailey were going to be the best parents ever to someday, when the time was right.

She can’t imagine him being dead, not having him in her life.

HOUR SIX: VOIGHT

He’s not a man who spends a lot of time in shock.

Usually, he takes things as they happen, reacting as necessary and saving contemplation for later.

But there’s nothing else for him to do right now. Trying to negotiate with Eric just might result in him shooting another member of Voight’s team.

All he can do is sit here and wait.

And stare at the jean clad legs sticking out from behind that desk.

The gun had been pointed directly at Jay’s head when the man had fired.

And Jay hasn’t moved since.

The evidence adds up to a pretty clear picture and along with it comes a heavy load of guilt.

Eric had been reacting to something that he’d said.

If he hadn’t pressed him about his brother, hadn’t chosen that tact to try to talk him down, Jay would still be alive right now.

But Jay Halstead is dead.

And it’s all his fault.

DEADLINE

The phone rings as they hit the six hour mark and Voight tenses.

There’s no way they are going to release Eric’s brother from prison which can only end badly for his unit.

Sure enough, he doesn’t really like the way the man’s shoulders tense up as he listens to what the negotiator has to say.

“I told you what you needed to do in order to get the hostages released safely.” he says calmly. “You have failed to do so and now they will pay the price. You’ve just sacrificed Adam Ruzek to your pointless bureaucracies. You have ten minutes before you lose another hostage.”

He slams the phone down and walks directly to Adam, lifting the gun to point at his head.

“Nothing personal.” he says calmly.

A shot rings out and Kim screams Adam’s name.

But when the shock settles, its not Adam lying motionless on the ground with a perfectly round hole directly in the center of his head.

Jay is sitting up with the smaller gun that Voight knows he sometimes wears in an ankle holster in hand.

Blood is streaked down the left side of his face and there’s a distant look in his eyes but his gaze is focused as he lowers the weapon.

Trudy is the first to react, diving for the phone and quickly explaining the updated situation and the need for a bomb tech. And then paramedics.

“I’ll take him downstairs.” Hailey is quick to say. “It’s probably better if we don’t crowd him. He’s got a hell of a concussion.”

“Yeah that was too close.” Adam says, staring at his friend who’s still holding the gun loosely at his side and staring at his would-be killer.

“For both of you.” Kim says, shakily.

“Jay won’t have trouble with the shooting team, will he?” Kevin says quietly as Hailey walks up to her husband, gently pulling the weapon from his hand and handing it off to Trudy.

Voight frowns.

It won’t be easy with Jay potentially not remembering the shooting but it should shake down okay.

“There’s cameras in the bullpen.” he says finally, shaking his head. “And we’ll all be able to give our side of the story. There’s precedent for reacting while injured and not remembering details.”

“Kid outta get a medal for this one.” Trudy says, watching while Jay obediently follows as Hailey leads him toward the stairs.

“There’s a lot of things Jay should have gotten a medal for.” Kim says quietly as bomb techs run up the stairs and they are ushered out of their own workspace.

They end up keeping a soft perimeter around the ambulance, keeping the public and IRT back while the paramedics examine Jay.

Even at the distance they are keeping, they can all tell that Jay is coming back to himself.

That he’s slowly bouncing back from the slight overload that the adrenaline has caused his system.

Hailey wants to insist that he goes directly to Med for a CT but he waves the investigators forward, wanting to make a statement before leaving the scene.

He seems to remember before being shot pretty clearly as he quickly walks them through the start of the hostage situation and then being shot in the head.

He slows down a little as he recounts waking up, realizing what was going on and his decision to play possum.

He isn’t sure exactly how long he’d been unconscious and how long he’d just been lying silently on the ground, waiting for his chance to act.

But the gist of it is clear.

He’d waited until he’d had the opportunity to act and when Eric had turned his back on him to shoot Adam, he’d pulled the gun from his ankle holster and done what he had to in order to protect his friend.

The two IRT detectives seem satisfied with the account, closing their notebooks and telling him he should get to the hospital. They’ll look over the footage, take other statements and follow up with him if they have any further questions.

He nods and lets Hailey help him into the ambulance, going so far as to recline tiredly on the stretcher.

He’s miserable and he’s hurting but he’s alive.

And as long as they have any say in the matter, he’s going to stay that way.

Chapter Text

Jay wakes up confused.

The sheets don’t feel the same and he’s not sure where he is right now.

Because this isn’t his bed.

He sits up, grimacing as chains clink and looking down at his hands.

They’re wrapped in tight leather that keeps them trapped in fists, his fingers pressed to his palms and useless.

Chains encircle his wrists, locked with heavy padlocks. The two chains connect into one that trails down to the foot of the bed and locks around one of the bedposts.

Where is he?

He looks around the small room. It looks like a normal bedroom.

The floor carpeting is short shag and brown, the walls a warm green, and several bookshelves along the walls.

He climbs off the bed, grimacing as the chains clink gently against each other.

There’s a bathroom attached and he’s grateful that he’s wearing sweatpants. They won’t be easy to maneuver without working fingers but it’s better than something with a fastening that he wouldn’t be able to work at all.

And after however long he’d been asleep, he desperately needs to use the facilities.

He can’t close the door all the way, he wouldn’t be able to open it again, but he toes it to a mere crack and then takes care of business.

He pulls the door back open with his foot and steps back into the bedroom, freezing when he sees the older woman sitting on the bed.

He remembers her. He and Hailey had talked to her at a crime scene a few days ago.

She’d made him uncomfortable.

And now he knows why.

“What is going on?” he says, stepping back.

“I’m doing this because I care about you.” she says, smiling at him. “When I learned that you lost your mother-”

“Don’t talk about my mother.” he snaps, cutting her off.

“But this is all about her.” she says, tilting her head. “And the fact that you need a new mother.”

“Nothing could replace her.” he says, shaking his head.

“And neither could anything replace my boys.” she says sadly. “But we can fill a hole in each other’s lives. I can care for you, you can be there for me.”

“You need to let me go.” he says, holding up his hands. “You could go to prison for a long time for this.”

“Not if you stay right here with me.” she says. “And don’t tell anyone about what I’ve done.”

“That’s not going to happen.” Jay says, looking around the room.

He can’t tell anything about where he is from the walls except that, there’s no windows so he must be in a basement. But maybe someone will still hear him if he screams for help.

“Help!” he shouts. “Somebody -”

A sharp jolt comes from something wrapped around his neck, dropping him to his knees.

She comes up to him, wrapping something over the lower half of his face. He tries to fight her off and gets shocked again for his trouble.

“Lmm grrr.” he orders, his words muffled and smothered.

“I had hoped we might have a chance to talk more, to discuss this.” she says, her voice sounding almost sad as she finishes buckling the muzzle around his head. “That you might be convinced to see things the way I see them.”

As soon as she steps back his hands come up to paw at the leather.

But it’s useless. There’s nothing he can do and he just hears the metallic sound of a padlock.

She walks toward the door, glancing back at him.

Rest, sweet boy.” she tells him. “We can talk later, perhaps you’ll be more agreeable. None of this screaming nonsense.”

She closes the door behind her and he skips the bed, sinking down to sit on the floor.

He’s helpless and he needs help.

He needs his team.

Hailey bangs her fist against her desk.

Jay hadn’t shown up to Molly’s last night, despite telling the team he would probably swing by.

She hadn’t thought much of it, figuring that he’d changed his mind.

They’re still getting comfortable around each other, understanding how to talk to each other.

But she should have known that something was wrong when he didn’t call anyone, or at least respond to her text.

When he hadn’t made it to work the next day, she’d known that something was wrong.

Seriously wrong.

And that feeling of wrongness reminds her of something.

“Voight.” she calls out, bringing her boss to the door of his office. “It might be nothing but… do you remember the crime scene we were at last week?”

He nods, raising an eyebrow.

“Jay and I interviewed this woman.” she says, scrambling for her notebook. “Late fifties, maybe early sixties. And afterwards he said… he said she made him uncomfortable. It could be a coincidence but…”

“I don’t believe in coincidences.” he says, shaking his head. “Take Antonio and talk to her. You get any weird vibes off her, bring her in.”

Hailey nods, grabbing her jacket and looking at her co-worker with fear in her eyes.

Jay is in trouble.

When the door opens again, he’s ready.

He doesn’t need his fingers to win this fight.

As soon as she comes within range of his chain he throws a hard punch knocking her back onto the bed.

The collar around his neck shocks him but he fights through it, driving forward to press his forearm across her throat.

He can’t speak his demands but he thinks she can probably guess.

She shocks him again and he grunts but pushes forward, bringing his knee up to knock away her remote.

Something crashes into the side of his head, sending him tumbling off the bed.

And then she is over him, a small stone statuette, one that he had seen on the side table but dismissed as a weapon knowing that he wouldn’t be able to pick it up, in her hands.

He tries to bring his arms up to defend his face from further strikes but she presses her knee into the chain, pulling them down against his stomach.

She brings the statuette down on him, not aiming her hits for his head like he would have expected but down on his vulnerable arms.

Pain shoots through them and he struggles, fighting to pull them away from her strikes.

He doesn’t know how many blows she rains down on them before she finally stops, pushing herself off of him.

She stands over him, breathing hard with her hands on her knees, the blood soaked statuette clutched in one of them.

Finally, she catches her breath and straightens up.

“I thought for sure that the mitts and the shock collar would be enough to keep you from fighting but you are something else, aren’t you.” she says, shaking her head. “Well, I’d like to see you fight back now.”

And then she turns, walking out of the room and slamming the door behind her.

His head drops to the floor beneath him.

Hailey steps back as she rings the doorbell.

“What exactly did he say?” Antonio asks.

“He just… he was antsy.” Hailey says. “He didn’t let it show until we left but I could see it. And we got back to the truck and I asked him about it… all he could say was that she made him uncomfortable.”

He nods, frowning but turns, schooling his features as the door opens.

Helen Johanson looks like an average middle aged woman.

But knowing that something about her made Jay uncomfortable sends waves of anxiety through Hailey.

She looks at the woman, taking in the look of surprise and possibly even fear that crosses her face.

She knows something.

“Is this about last week?” Helen asks. “I’m afraid I don’t have any more information.”

“It’s more about today.” Hailey says, looking for an angle. “Detective Halstead has gone missing. I’m here because we’re short on angles and I was hoping you remember something, something about how he was that day that might help me understand.”

“Oh.” Helen says. “I … I’m afraid I don’t know what I can tell you. I don’t know that I remember anything significant. And it was a week ago, how could it be related?”

“We’re just looking for any information that might help us.” Antonio says. “Even if it didn’t stand out to you, please just tell us everything you remember.”

“I don’t care about what you remember.” Hailey says suddenly. “I care about what you know. About today.”

“I… I’m afraid I don’t understand what you mean, Detective.” Helen says but the fear in her eyes has grown.

“I smell his cologne here.” Hailey says, shaking her head. “Where is he?”

Helen’s eyes go wide and she takes a step back.

“I don’t…”

“Where is he?” Hailey snaps, slamming her back against the wall.

Helen whimpers.

Jay is lying motionless on the floor when they open the door.

Part of Hailey absently notes the restraints that he wears but her eyes lock on his bloodied arms where they lie motionless across his body.

Blood has soaked into his clothing, completely saturating it and pooling underneath him.

There must be arterial damage.

Hailey drops to her knees next to him, trusting Antonio to keep an eye on Helen and call for an ambulance.

She strips off her jacket, lying it over his arms and pressing down, hard.

He moans, trying to move away from her but she holds firm, keeping pressure.

If she can’t at least slow this bleeding he won’t last until an ambulance can get to them.

“Antonio!” she screams.

“Ambo is coming.” he shouts back. “Tell him to hang in there.”

“Did you hear that, Jay?” she says. “You have to hang on. You have to stay with me.”

He doesn’t respond, she wishes she had a hand free to remove the leather strapped over his face even though he isn’t conscious enough to speak.

Antonio drops to his knees next to her.

“Uniforms are taking Helen back to the district.” he tells her. “Ambo is two minutes out and I got this.”

He holds up a set of keys and she nods, watching as he unlocks the padlock on the muzzle and pulls it free of Jay’s face.

His breathing eases immediately and she forces a smile.

“See?” she tells her partner. “Better already. We’re going to take really good care of you but you’ve got to stay strong, to keep fighting.”

The collar comes off next but Antonio can’t get to the chains locked around his wrists without removing her jacket so he settles for unlocking them from the bedpost and curling them up on top of his legs.

And then the paramedics crash into the room.

The IV has to go in Jay’s neck since the veins on both arms are unavailable.

After the removal of Hailey’s jacket, Antonio is able to remove the restraints and then pressure bandages and splints are hastily secured over both forearms and then the four of them join forces to get him on the stretcher.

Jay’s body is reacting to the pain, to the jostling but there still hasn’t been any kind of conscious response from him.

The drive to the hospital is uneventful. Jay remains deeply unconscious and his vitals continue to drop but he stays relatively stable.

Will is waiting when the ambulance doors open and Hailey curses herself for forgetting to reach out to him. Antonio must have called but it was her job, she’s Jay’s partner.

And she should have realized something was wrong earlier.

Should have known something was off when he hadn’t even called to cancel on their plans last night.

Should have realized something was off when he said the woman made him uncomfortable.

Maybe if Erin was still here she would have been able to take care of him better.

Maggie approaches her and she realizes that she’s ended up sitting in the waiting room.

“Is there news?” she asks, jumping to her feet.

“Nothing yet.” Maggie says. “I think they’re still trying to control the bleeding. But you’re starting to scare the others so I was thinking maybe we should get you out of your bloody clothing.”

Hailey looks down at herself and realizes that she’s right. She’s a mess.

Covered in Jay’s blood.

She nods shakily, following the nurse toward a locker room.

She strips out of her clothes, showering quickly and then dressing in a pair of scrubs that Maggie brought for her.

She looks down at her pile of clothing and then gathers it up and throws it in the trash.

It’s not salvageable anyway.

Maggie is waiting outside the door.

“They got the bleeding under control.” she says as soon as she sees her. “It’s not clear what caused it, but there are multiple bones broken in both forearms. That’s what caused the bleeding, even nicked an artery. They were able to repair the artery and now they’re assessing the bone damage to determine where they might need to secure
things.”

Hailey nods.

“But he’s going to be okay?” Hailey presses.

“He’s going to be fine.” Maggie tells her. “Let’s get you up to the surgical waiting room so Will can find you when he gets out.”

Antonio and the rest of the team are in the waiting room but she barely has a chance to offer them a nod before Will is stepping out of the double doors.

“He’s in recovery.” he says without offering any other details. “And he’s asking for you, Hailey.”

Hailey’s eyes widen.

Her?

Surely there’s someone else on the team that he’d rather see. He barely even tolerates her most days, still coming to terms with Erin leaving. Still coming to terms with having a new partner.

But she follows Will down the hallways and into the open bay of beds.

Both of Jay’s arms are in casts and it’s a little scary how pale he is but his eyes are open, focused as he stares right at her.

“Hey partner.” he says tiredly.

“Hey.” she says. “How do you feel?”

“Like a slightly unhinged lady smashed my arms to bits with a little statue.” he says, raising an eyebrow.

“But with a nice twist of medicated, right?” she asks, offering him a grin.

“Yeah.” he says, huffing a laugh. “So much medicated. Thanks for coming for me. If you hadn’t realized it was her as fast as you did, I…”

“You said she made you uncomfortable.” she says, shrugging. “I figured…”

“Thanks.” he repeats.

“I’ve got your back.” she tells him. “Now you look done in so why don’t you get some sleep?”

“We’ll probably cut you loose in the morning.” Will says next to her. “The more you can sleep, the sooner that happens.”

“I’ll let you sleep.” Hailey says. “But if you need help with anything, let me know.”

He nods and she retreats back to the waiting room.

The team is still there and she smiles at them.

“He’s going to be fine. Will says he might go home as soon as tomorrow morning. But he’ll probably need some extra hands, literally, considering he’s broken both arms.” she tells them.

“We’ll figure something out.” Voight tells her. “Make sure he’s taken care of. You need a ride home?”

“My car is at the station.” Hailey says. “If I can just get a ride back there, I’ll be okay.”

“I’ll take you home.” Antonio says. “Get you a lift to work in the morning. I think you need to rest tonight.”

She doesn’t argue, just follows him toward the parking lot.

“Hey.” he says once they get out of the waiting room. “I didn’t smell his cologne back at the house. How did you?”

“I didn’t.” she says with a laugh. “But I saw the fear in her eyes. She was trying to hide something, knew that we would find it. So I bluffed her. And it worked.”

“And if you’d been wrong?” he asks but he’s grinning.

“Then she would have told me I was crazy.” she says. “Not gotten even more panicked.”

“Well.” he says, shaking his head. “We got him back.”

“Just in time.” she says, biting her lip. “This was too close, Antonio.”

“Hey.” he says, turning and pulling her into a hug. “You got to him in time and he’s going to be okay. Anything else is not worth stressing over.”

She nods.

He’s going to be fine.

And she won’t let anything like this happen to him again.

Chapter Text

Jay stares up at the ceiling.

He remembers a time when even the lower quality mattress of his bunk on base had been enough to keep him from sleeping but as a Ranger he’s gotten used to sleeping on the ground.

But the last two weeks have been yet another adjustment.

The hole, deep in a tangled network of caves, that the ISIS soldiers who'd captured him had thrown him into when he’d first been brought her doesn’t even have the
smooth areas that he’s usually able to seek out.

All he can do is search for the spot with the fewest lumps and sharp protruding rocks to lie on.

He knows that spot so well that he can easily find it, even in the pitch black of his cell.

But even with the many injuries, mostly bruises and fractures as far as he can tell, that his body has been forced to contend with, sleep has remained elusive.

Though not because of his body denies sleep but because every time he comes close loud music is blasted through his prison to force him back away from the edge and into wakefulness.

It’s impossible to tell the passage of time though he’s done the best that he can by assuming that food has been brought perhaps once a day.

Even then its hard to keep track because he can’t see the tallies he’s making on the floor of his cell.

But he’s pretty sure today is day fourteen.

And still… his team hasn’t come for him.

He knows they’re searching. Knows how deeply hidden an ISIS base such as the one he’s being held in is.

And therein lies a terrifying lack of hope.

If they haven’t found him by now then the trail has gone cold and they’ll be searching for intel that may not exist in an effort to find him.

In fact, just about his only chances of surviving this are if they try to make some kind of a hostage trade or if this base is attacked for reasons unrelated to rescuing him.

And he’s too tired to try to contemplate the likelihood of either of those things happening.

The stone over his cell is drug back and he sits up, blinking as light filters into the hole.

He doesn’t fight as they drag him out, preferring to save his strength for a more viable escape opportunity.

His hands are bound in front of him and then he’s pulled down the corridor.

The further they walk, the more his eyes adjust to the lighting and the more steady he starts to feel.

He’s still exhausted and in pain but being able to see gives something back to him, helping his brain focus and start to evaluate his surroundings.

There are people everywhere, none of them looking at him as they bustle about, focused on whatever their jobs are.

But the activity tapers off as they approach wherever it is they’re taking him.

He thinks its closer to the surface, closer to the possibility of escape but the way these tunnels are designed he could just as easily be much further away.

Their destination is a closed off room, only the one way in and out.

Two men immediately take up position covering that entrance as Jay is pushed to sit on a table.

He scans his surroundings, taking in the recording equipment, the flags, and the buckets.

He swallows hard.

“A smart American.” the man standing in front of him says coldly as Jay is slammed onto his back and straps secured across his torso and legs.

He closes his eyes as the table begins to tilt backward.

Cloth over his face. Wet cloth that obscures his airflow.

He tries to remember his training, to remember his SERE training and what they had taught him.

Tries to remember what he’d been told about how to breathe to give himself the best fighting chance once the water starts to flow.

It’s deathly silent, his terrified anticipation of that moment seeming to stretch the wait almost indefinitely.

And then he can’t breathe.

Water is flowing over his face, saturating the cloth and blocking the last of his oxygen.

He holds his breath but it doesn’t matter. The water flows freely in through his nose and there is nothing he can do to stop it from happening.

His brain immediately escalates into panic, sending commands to his body in an effort to clear his airways but none of it works.

His hands are trapped and unable to do anything to help him. And without them none of his body’s defense mechanisms can do what needs to be done.

Not well enough to save him from what’s happening.

And then its over.

The water has stopped flowing, leaving him free to gasp and choke, fighting to clear his airway and bring oxygen into tortured lungs.

But his reprieve doesn’t last.

All too soon the water is pounding relentlessly onto his face again and flooding his airways. He doesn’t even have the chance to try to hold his breath nor does he have any breath to hold.

And he slides under the panic all he can think is that the Army had never prepared him for this, had trained him only for the first fifteen seconds and done nothing to prepare him for the enemy that would repeat the process over and over again.

Will Halstead hates having a roommate.

Chase just wants to study when he wants to party and party when Will really needs to study.

Because as much as people associate him with partying, he is still a med student. He’s been subjected to a constant flow of information with regular tests to determine how well he’s absorbing that information.

And right now, all he can afford to think about is the exam he has first thing in the morning.

And Chase is watching some viral video on repeat.

It isn’t even something trite and lame that Will can just tune out. It’s an American soldier being tortured.

It had hit the internet sometime this morning, released by ISIS with a single message. That ISIS would release this soldier, end the hell that he’s being put through, if only the United States government would release some ISIS operative.

It had quickly spread to dozens of other sites across the internet, culled of everything but a ten second burst of the soldier writhing as water floods over his face.

And Will can’t bear to look at it because his brain can’t seem to stop finding similarities between the unknown soldier and his little brother.

A similar build, similar arms, similar hands… every time he looks at it he finds something new that reminds him of his little brother.

That reminds him of the little kid who’d followed him around when they were younger. The little kid that he used to wake up from nightmares about monsters and demons.

“Hey Will.” Chase calls, something strange about his voice. “Is that… isn’t that the bracelet that you always wear?”

Will freezes, unable to stop his brain as it processes the information and comes to a conclusion.

He can’t stop himself as he walks over, staring at the screen, staring at the bracelet that Chase had noticed, watching the unknown soldier that reminds him of his little brother be tortured.

Watching his little brother be tortured.

Because Chase is right. Right there, just below the harsh ropes binding his brother’s wrists and visible, clear as day, is a simple bracelet of braided black string.

A bracelet that he’d given his brother when he’d first learned that he was going to be deployed to Afghanistan. A bracelet whose identical twin he wears every day without fail.

And then Will is crashing to his knees, hysterical sobs overtaking him.

Jay can’t even move as he’s dropped back into his pit.

Can’t breathe.

He just lies there, choking and gasping for air.

He’s not sure how he’s even still alive after that and sure that he won’t survive if they do it again.

He wants his mom.

Wants to lay on their old, ugly couch with his head in her lap while she ghosts her fingers through his hair, soothing him to sleep.

Wants to sit in the garage and watch his dad work on their old Ford truck.

To play a hockey scrimmage against Will.

Wants to go home.

Wants to not die in this godforsaken hole in the ground.

He’s so exhausted, so miserable that he somehow manages to fall asleep even as they blast their music.

Perhaps when he wakes up this will all have been an awful dream.

Jesse Carter hasn’t slept more than a few hours at a time in two and a half weeks.

Missions have gone wrong before but this one had been a special combination of bad intel, some of which he suspects was intentional.

Even he’d been caught off guard by the speed with which everything had gone sideways.

In fact, the only member of the team who had fully kept their head had been Jay Halstead.

The damn kid had kept everything together long enough to get the rest of the team to safety.

And he’d paid for it.

Jesse hasn’t slept a single moment in the two days since the video had dropped of his brother in arms being waterboarded, being brutally tortured.

Has spent every waking moment, spent every moment, watching and waiting for intel to come across that will lead them to where his little brother is being held.

Because his team will be on the front line for the rescue mission.

“Captain Carter. We’ve got a location.”

Explosions.

Screams.

Gunfire.

The sounds are worse than the music but instead of not being able to fall asleep, Jay can’t seem to wake up fully.

The sounds, while deafening, are also muted, traveling through miles of water to..

Water.

No. He can’t… he can’t be under water… he can’t.

The sounds are getting closer but it remains muffled and distorted.

He can breathe.

He can still breathe.

He… he can’t breathe.

A crash sounds directly above him and then light is streaming down on him.

He kicks his arms and legs, swimming toward the surface.

But he’s not moving.

Air doesn’t seem any closer.

And he’s drowning.

A hand is on his shoulder.

“-cky?”

Why are they pushing him down?

He needs to get out of the water. He needs to get to fresh air.

He needs to breathe.

“-ay!”

He struggles, kicking and fighting and then suddenly he’s being lifted, pulled upward. He stills.

Finally, they’re getting him out of the water.

But then he’s lying on something hard, moving forward not up and he still can’t breathe, still can only hear muffled and distorted sound.

Who are these people? And why won’t they get him out of the water?

Why can’t they understand that he needs to breathe?

He starts fighting again, trying to get away, trying to get to the air that he so desperately needs.

The motion stops and then something stabs into the side of his neck.

He screams, a strangled and distorted sound.

But he still can’t breathe and he can’t keep fighting any longer.

And so he slowly sinks into the comfort that darkness offers.

He can breathe when he wakes up.

There’s bright light all around him, the beeping of machines and the smell of anesthetic.

A hospital?

“Jay?”

He forces his eyes open, looking over to see his commanding officer sitting next to the bed.

“Sir?”

“Welcome back, kid.” JC says. “You were starting to worry us.”

“Us?” he croaks.

“You think for a second that the team has been able to think about anything besides you from the moment that you were captured?” JC asks, shaking his head. “Since that bone headed distraction you caused so we could escape.”

“It was the only play we had.” Jay says.

“Jay.” he starts but Jay waves him off.

“I would do it again.” he says firmly. “When am I getting out of here?”

“Not long.” Jesse says, shaking his head and rolling his eyes. “You’ve been down for a couple of days. You had to be intubated before we could move you out of the compound; the medics said secondary drowning. It was a hell of a ride waiting to see if you were going to pull through. They almost airlifted you to Germany. But you stayed strong. You got off that damn ventilator and if you behave yourself and don’t mess with that canula you could be out of here in a couple of days.”

Jay nods and settles back against the pillows.

He can wait a couple of days to dive back into this.

Chapter Text

They’ve been chasing the same robbery crew for three weeks.

Five banks have been robbed in that time which was enough to track a pattern and they’d split to canvas possible next options for signs that the crew had already cased their next job.

But no sooner had Jay introduced himself to the bank manager the doors flew open and a man in a black mask carrying an AK-47 has walked into the bank, shooting into the ceiling.

Jay and Hailey had both drawn their weapons but the man had gotten hold of a woman walking through the door at the wrong moment and used her to force them to put their weapons down.

All of the doors to the bank had been locked and the hostages had been sat on the floor.

The robber had released his grip on the woman, shoving her over to sit with the others.

Hailey had tried to move to a young woman who’d been struck by a ricocheting bullet from the original shots fired at the ceiling but the man had waved her away, threatening to shoot the woman’s daughter if anyone moved from their spots.

And with that things had settled into a tense wait.

The negotiators had made contact, demands had been made but something is off.

Everything they know about this crew says that there’s two of them and Hailey really wishes that she could discuss with her partner what it might mean that only one of them is here.

Jay is watching the robber pace back and forth with a laser focus and she decides she’d better follow his lead.

But their guy is smart enough to stay out of range of an attack and they can’t risk giving him a chance to shoot another one of the hostages.

So they keep waiting while negotiations progress steadily.

It’s fortunate that the only demands seem to be money and a getaway vehicle because it makes it easy for the negotiators to be accommodating.

Hailey almost misses the quiet, calm words from her partner.

“Help them.”

And then he’s lunging at the robber who has drifted just close enough to them to be within range on his inhumanly long arms.

Everything inside of her screams for her to help her partner but Hailey scrambles over to the bleeding woman, pulling the tourniquet from the holder in her boot.

She’s just fastening it into place, reassuring the woman that she’s going to be just fine when she hears the shot ring out.

Hears an all too familiar grunt.

She turns to see her partner slumped over the robber, the gun a few feet away on the ground.

The woman the robber had grabbed coming in the door has a gun in hand, pointed at her partner.

Hailey tackles her, grabbing the gun and twisting it out of her hand. She hears shattering glass as the SWAT team makes their entry but just focuses on getting the job done.

She cuffs the woman and drags the woman to her feet, passing her off to a SWAT member before rushing over to her partner.

“Jay?”

She rolls her parter off the robber, not paying much attention as SWAT pulls the man away from them.

Blood is soaking into Jay’s shirt over his abdomen and she pushes up his shirt, searching out the source of the bleeding and pressing her hands into it.

His eyes flicker open, locking on hers.

“Hails?” he questions.

“I’m here.” she tells him. “And we’re getting you help so don’t you go blacking out on me again, huh?”

“H’rts.” he grunts.

“Yeah.” she says. “Had that one for a second, didn’t we?”

“Should have realized she was the partner, huh?” he asks.

“Not sure why you would have.” she says. “And that woman was in trouble. You did what you had to do.”

“Not… reckless?” he asks with a small grin.

“You’re always reckless.” she tells him. “It’s just occasionally justified.”

He huffs a laugh and groans.

“Jay?” she questions.

“Laughing… bad.” he wheezes.

“Noted.” she says, reaching up with one hand to rub his shoulder. “Just try to breathe easy partner.”

A paramedic slides in next to her and Hailey slides her hands aside to let the paramedic put a pressure bandage over the injury, cinching it down tight.

Jay groans, squirming under her hands.

Hailey rubs his shoulder with her thumb.

“Easy partner.”

Voight shows up as they’re loading him into the ambulance.

“I send you to talk to a bank manager and you manage to get yourself shot.” he says, shaking his head.

“We also managed to bag your bank robbers.” Jay retorts. “Besides, it’s been like a year. Aren’t you more surprised it took this long?”

Voight just claps his hand on Jay’s leg and then steps back.

“Get to the hospital and get patched up.” he tells him, looking over at Hailey. “Take care of your partner. We’ll get your statements later.”

She nods and sits next to her partner, reaching out to take his hand.

“Copy you, Sarge.”

Jay is dozing when they pull up at Med and Hailey gently nudges him awake just before the doors open and a worried older brother shows up in between them.

“I’m okay, Will.” Jay says tiredly as the paramedics start to move the stretcher out.

Will takes hold of the end, helping lower him down.

“The bloody bandages say otherwise.” he cautions, easily sliding aside as Ethan walks up.

“Hey Jay.” he greets. “What are we looking at?”

“Shot in the stomach.” Jay tells him.

“Nothing else I need to look at?” he asks, nodding when Jay just shakes his head.

“The placement is pretty centered.” Ethan says. “Could have hit your liver or your stomach. Maybe both. We need to get some scans.”

“Do we have time for scans?” Will asks.

“He’s stable.” Ethan says with only a glance at the monitors. “But we’re going to have to go in either way.”

“Following the bullet should give you a pretty direct path to the location of the damage.” Will says.

“What do you think, Jay?” Ethan asks. “I can grab a quick ultrasound down here, get a general idea and then take you up to the OR.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Jay agrees.

Hailey leans down to kiss his forehead.

“I’ll see you when you get out.” she tells him.

She’s feeling pretty good about the situation until she’s shown into recovery and sees him still on the ventilator.

“What’s wrong?”

“He didn’t handle the attempted extubation very well.” Will says quietly. “It looks like the expanding pressure as the bullet ripped through him might have bruised his diaphragm.”

“So what’s the plan then?” she asks.

“Give him a little more time.” he says, shrugging. “We’ll try again in twelve hours.”

She nods, taking her husband’s hand.

“Always gotta do things the hard way.”

Will just laughs.

“That’s my brother.” he agrees.

They follow along with the bed when he’s moved upstairs to the ICU, settling in at his bedside.

It turns out Jay doesn’t like the twelve hour idea much either because at four hours he’s breathing over the vent.

Within thirty minutes he’s off the vent and half sitting up, looking between the two of them.

“Bruised diaphragm?” he asks. “Great.”

“It’s going to be miserable for a couple days at least.” Will says. “And you’ve got to let us help you out with pain meds. This is just as bad as broken ribs for pneumonia risk because of you not breathing deeply enough. If not worse.”

Jay nods.

“Okay. When do I get out of here?”

Will chuckles.

“You’ve been off the vent five minutes.” he says, shaking his head. “They’re going to want to get the pain managed and make sure we can keep it that way. Two days, maybe three.”

Jay sighs but relaxes back against the pillows.

“Get some rest.” Hailey says, stroking her fingers through his hair. “I’ll be here.”

Chapter Text

Jay walks out of the grocery store.

He and Hailey don’t usually have a lot of time to do their grocery shopping which means that they tend to stick to late night runs on the way home from work.

Tonight’s his turn.

“Hey man.” a guy calls out, and he turns to see a man walking toward him with an uneven gait. “You spare a couple bucks?”

Jay groans internally.

It’s so hard to know when these people legitimately need his help and when they’re just looking for their next fix.

The unsteady gait could be a sign that he’s intoxicated but it could also be a host of medical issues.

He shifts his keys to his left hand with the bags and reaches for his wallet.

The sharp stab of pain in his lower back catches him off guard.

He looks back to see a knife sticking out of his side, the hilt still encased in the man’s hand.

“What…”

A van screeches up next to them, the door flying open and then Jay is being shoved into the back.

He cries out as he hits the floor of the van and the knife shifts.

And then he’s being rolled onto his stomach and the blade is ripped out.

He screams but they just grab his head, slamming his face against the floor.

His arms are jerked up behind his back and secured with a zip tie.

What the hell is going on?

“W-what do… you want?” he chokes out.

“Nothing from you.”

Before he can attempt another question, they press duct tape over his mouth.

Then a knee is pressing into his back, keeping him down.

He’s closed his eyes, trying to tone down the nausea that the movement of the vehicle is uncharacteristically causing him, when he feels the van slow.

And hears the door slide open. And then he’s being moved.

He opens his eyes, looking around in alarm and scrambling to try to find something to hold onto.

Trying to kick their hands away.

But it’s a hard fight in close quarters with his hands tied.

And then he’s airborne.

He hits the ground with force on a slope, crashing and tumbling all the way down to the bottom.

When he finally comes to a stop he can just lie there for a while, gasping for breath.

Everything hurts and it takes a long moment before he can zero in on anything in particular.

Ribs, right shoulder, left leg, lower back, and head. Everything else is minor.

But he’s losing a lot of blood from that stab wound and he needs help, now.

He looks around, seeing nothing but pitch darkness. He knows there’s a hill to his right, knows if he can just get to the top of it, there’s a road.

And if he can get to that road, he can get help, can flag down a car.

But he also remembers how long he’d spent tumbling down that very hill.

And he has to get out of these zip ties before he can even really try.

Every move as he searches for something he can use to cut himself free takes his breath away but he finds something and manages to saw through the plastic.

He rolls onto his back, lifting his shirt to try to feel at the stab wound on his side.

He tries to pull his shirt off, hoping he can bandage it to slow the bleeding but his shoulder won’t cooperate.

Giving up on that, he rolls back onto his stomach and starts crawling up the hill, dragging himself inch by painful inch with only the use of his left arm.

“Jay doesn’t just not answer his phone, Sarge.” Hailey says and he can practically hear her pacing.

“No. He wouldn’t.” he agrees. “How long?”

“He went to the store after work.” she says. “I expected him to be home by eleven, we hit quarter after I started calling.”

It’s just short of midnight now which means Jay has been missing for over an hour, with the possibility of an hour and a half.

“What store?”

“Danny’s market.” she tells him. “It’s the only place close to our drive home that’s open that late. We take turns stopping to restock essentials when days off get farther and farther apart.”

“Well even they’re closed by now.” he tells her. “I can try to drag the owners out of bed to get access to the cameras but we don’t even know if he made it to the store.”

“I can check traffic cams.” Hailey offers. “Maybe get eyes on the truck and see if he did make it that far.”

“And maybe get eyes on any vehicles that were in the area at the time he would have been.” Voight says. “I have a CI I want to check in with. He’s got the pulse on the neighborhood and might know something.”

“Okay.” she says, taking a deep breath. “Okay.”

“We’ll find him.” he promises before ending the call.

But Tanner doesn’t know anything about the abduction of a cop in the neighborhood and Hailey’s search of the cameras doesn’t turn up anything.

She can get a single glimpse of Jay’s truck approaching the store but there wasn’t a single other vehicle that passed the traffic cameras within the thirty minute window afterward.

Without getting access to the store cameras they’re dead in the water and Jay’s already been missing for nearly three hours.

His phone rings and he looks down, expecting to see Hailey’s name on the screen.

But instead he gets Jay’s.

“Halstead?”

“He’s already dead.” a voice says coldly. “But I thought you might like to recover the body before the animals get to it. Get a clear look at the cost of your actions.”

“Where is he?” he demands.

“Old Route 66 where it goes through Douglas Park. Near the tennis courts.”

The call ends and he scrambles back to his car, contemplating whether or not to call Hailey.

If whoever this is is telling the truth and Jay’s already dead, maybe she shouldn’t be there when he finds the body.

He parks next to the tennis courts, drawing his weapon and starting the search.

It’s miles more specific than he’d had an hour ago but its still a lot of ground to cover.

He reaches a hill, spotting disrupted brush and following it down the hill. Halfway down, he sees a glimpse of boots in the beam of his flashlight.

Hurrying toward them, he drops to his knees, pressing his fingers into the side of Jay’s throat.

The pulse isn’t as strong as he would like but it’s still there.

He calls for an ambulance and rolls Jay onto his back.

“Jay?”

To his surprise, eyes flicker open.

He wouldn’t say that Jay is conscious and completely with it but he’s definitely not dead.

“It’s okay, kid.” he says gently, searching for injuries.

He finds the stab wound on Jay’s lower left side and presses his hand over it.

“Just keep breathing.” he urges. “Stay with me, kid.”

Jay is more of less still with him when the ambulance arrives and sticks it out through the ride to Med.

Hailey rushes up to him in the waiting room, staring at Jay as he’s wheeled past him.

“What happened?”

“I got a call.” he says. “With a location.”

“And you didn’t call me?” she demands. “What you didn’t think I should be there?”

“No.” he says, shaking his head. “I didn’t.”

She frowns, eyes narrowing in confusion.

“They said he was already dead.” he tells her. “You didn’t need to be there if that was the case.”

“But he’s still…” she trails off.

“He hung in there the whole way here.” Voight tells her. “And who knows how long out on that hill. Don’t give up on him yet.”

She sinks into a chair.

A few hours later they’re sitting on either side of Jay’s bed, watching him sleep.

The stab wound had come close to serious damage that would have caused him to bleed out long before Voight had arrived but luckily the wielder of the knife had missed their target.

The repair had been easy and once they can replenish his blood volume he should make a full recovery.

He has other injuries, ones that Voight suspects had come from being thrown down that hill.

A broken ankle, dislocated shoulder, broken ribs and a concussion are all painful but also expected to heal.

But that doesn’t mean that Voight won’t be visiting some serious pain on whoever had done this to him.

The suggestion that this was revenge for something that he’d done in the past is the only lead he has right now.

“Don’t worry kid.” he says, leaning down. “I’ll find the bastards who did this to you.”

Chapter Text

DAY THREE

Hailey carries a lot of the bags while Will is helping his brother into the apartment.

Jay is grumpy about the assistance but he’s still feeling the effects of the blood loss and needs Will’s stability.

And the grumpiness is nothing new. Jay had been tolerable about losing the use of both hands when he’d still been slightly medicated from the surgery but once he’d been lucid enough to truly process the situation, he’d been furious.

He’s trying really hard to keep from taking his frustration out on anyone but he’s been a grumpy asshole for the last day and a half, especially once the hospital had decided to keep him for an extra day while they gave a few more rounds of transfusion.

He drops onto the couch, reaching for the remote, visibly pissed off when he realizes that he can’t.

He’ll regain a lot of functionality with his hands within a week or so but for now his arms and hands are pretty much just for show.

And she can’t imagine how hard that is to deal with.

She sets up pillows for him to rest his arms on and he nods his thanks despite the permanent frown etched on his face.

She reaches for the remote.

“Can I turn something on for you?” she asks, trying not to flinch as he glares at her.

“Just… whatever.” I don’t care.” he mutters.

She offers hi a weak smile and turns the tv on, searching up a documentary.

Will comes in from the kitchen with a travel mug in hand. He’s able to prop it up on Jay’s lap, angling the the straw where his brother can reach it.

“Thanks.” Jay whispers, focusing on the screen and Hailey and Will retreat to the kitchen.

Will sighs, leaning against the counter.

“Sorry he’s so grumpy.” he says, shaking his head.

“I would be too if I was looking at at least a week without use of either hand.” she says with a shrug.

“Eh.” Will says with a shrug. “I know this is about your first time dealing with an injured Jay but he’s always grumpy when he’s hurting.”

“That sounds like my partner.” Hailey says with a grin. “He’s worth a little grumpy.”

Something off crosses Will’s face for a moment and then he just smiles.

“Well then, he’s lucky to have you.” he says. “You want anything to eat? He doesn’t have a lot of food around here but I figure we should just eat it for him since he’s going to be on smoothies for the next week.”

“Poor guy.” Hailey says, shaking her head and walking over to open the fridge. “But lucky me. For a health nut, Jay buys the best bacon.”

Will chuckles.

“Cook me some up too.” he asks.

DAY SIX

Jay’s getting some control back in his fingers.

The swelling that had compromised the nerves in his wrists is starting to go down.

Adam would have thought that would make him less grumpy but he thinks it might have actually made it worse.

Jay’s sitting on the couch, hand resting over the remote.

But his fingers don’t always do what he wants or have the strength that he needs and Adam can tell that it’s pissing him off.

He’d offered a greeting when Adam had sat down next to him, sounding like some kind of a cave man, but he hasn’t said anything since then.

Adam jumps when Jay growls, batting the remote off the couch and then clutches his arm to his chest.

“You okay?” he asks.

“I’m fine.” Jay hisses, stumbling to his feet and storming out of the room.

“Jay.” Adam calls, standing up and following him.

He finds Jay in the bathroom, staring back at his own reflection.

“It was stupid.” Jay mutters. “Hurts like hell but I really am okay.”

“I get that you’re frustrated, man.” Adam says. “This has got to be hell.”

“I just… it’s getting better.” Jay mutters. “And some part of me wants to believe that its almost over even though I know I’ve still got weeks before I get the casts off.”

“Yeah, I hear that.” Adam agrees.

“It hurts too.” Jay whispers. “The nerves have been… largely off-line because of the swelling. The swelling is down, the nerves are starting to come back online and they want me to know that they aren’t happy with the situation.”

“Ouch.” Adam whispers.

“Yeah.” Jay laughs. “Been trying to distract myself with the tv but I’ve got a short attention span and it doesn’t work for long.”

“And your fingers aren’t quite ready for channel surfing.” Adam finishes.

“Yeah.” Jay agrees. “It’s only been six days, Adam. And the docs are saying because of the severity of the breaks I’m definitely looking at eight weeks in the casts, minimum.”

“Don’t look at it that way, bro.” Adam says. “Just focus on those nerves coming back, okay? Your fingers are coming back online, you’ll have your hands back soon. It’ll get better. And it’s going to just keep getting better right up until those casts come off.”

Jay sighs but swallows hard and offers him a nod.

DAY THIRTEEN

Kevin watches Jay eat his lunch.

His hands are pretty functional at this point in the healing process but he still doesn’t have any motion in his wrists and limited lifting power.

He’s managing the maneuvering but it’s slow going and the shake that Kevin can see in his wrist tells him that he’s running out of steam.

Sure enough a moment later the fork holding hand crashes down to the table.

Jay slumps back in frustration, pounding his fist onto the wood.

Which is a mistake.

He groans, dropping his head to the table.

“I don’t think hurting yourself is going to hurry things up any.” Kevin says hesitantly.

“I’m so over this.” Jay mutters.

“I know you are, brother.” Kevin says, rounding the table. “But you’re getting through it. Two weeks down, right?”

“Six plus to go.” Jay grumbles.

“And huge improvements already.” Kevin reminds him.

Jay rolls his eyes.

“I’m going to go take a nap.” he says, using his feet to push back from the table and then storming out of the room.

DAY THIRTY FIVE

Kim doesn’t know how she let Jay convince her to do this.

She doesn’t mind the run, it’s actually kind of nice to be able to keep up with him for once.

She just isn’t sure this is a good idea for him.

She can tell the motion is hurting his arms no matter how tightly he keeps them pressed against his chest.

But she also knows he needs this so she tries to keep quiet. She’ll do her best to bully him into some extra pain meds when they get back to his apartment.

“You think I’m an idiot.” Jay says, and she bitterly notes that he’s barely out of breath.

“I think you needed to get out of the apartment.” she says. “But we could have walked.”

He glances over at her with a single raised eyebrow.

“But on the flip side.” she says with a grin. “I think I can totally kick your ass right now.”

“Race you back to the apartment.” he challenges.

“You’re on.” she agrees.

He still wins but he’s grinning broadly despite the obvious pain that he’s in so she’ll take the win.

DAY FORTY EIGHT

One week left.

At least that’s what Voight keeps telling himself.

The cynical part of his brain, which is most of it, keeps reminding him that the breaks had been pretty damn severe and that there’s a chance the kid gets stuck in the casts longer than planned.

But there is no way in hell that he’s going to be the one to point that out to him.

Jay’s playing a video game with his brother right now. They’re playing a co-op game with the difficulty set on easy and he’s still struggling, though mostly because he’s had to keep the controller on his lap and manipulate it in a totally different way.

But he seems to be in good spirits, not as frustrated as Voight would have expected.

He hopes that’s not too much on the fact that there’s a finish line in sight right now. Because if that’s the case, an extension might get ugly.

DAY FIFTY SIX

Will watches his brother’s face as the doctor delivers the bad news.

This morning’s x-ray doesn’t show the healing that they were hoping for and they want to leave the casts on for another two weeks.

Jay’s bad attitude has been steadily improving as they’ve approached today’s magical landmark. Will doesn’t know how today’s news is going to impact that.

The doctor leaves the room, promising to see them in two weeks and he turns to his brother.

“Hey.” he says, reaching for his brother’s arm. “It’ll be fine. You and me can spend some more time together. Hang out. It’ll be cool.”

“No…” Jay says, shaking his head and looking at his feet. “Not like this.”

Will sighs, putting a hand on his brother’s back.

“We’ll get you through this.” he promises.

Jay just sighs, reaching for his jacket and struggling into it. Will steps back, swallowing back an offer to help.

DAY SEVENTY

The casts are finally coming off.

After the disappointment of the first removal day, Will had asked Hailey if she’d be willing to be there with them and she’s doing a great job keeping Jay distracted while they cut through the plaster.

“I knew you were practically a ghost but this is a whole new level, partner.” she jokes as the plaster falls away and Jay’s skin comes into view for the first time.

“Not all of us can actually tan, Upton.” Jay says, rolling his eyes but he’s grinning.

“I’m Greek.” Hailey says with a laugh.

“And I’m Irish.” Jay retorts. “A little sun and I go full lobster.”

“I’ve seen it.” Hailey says. “Almost as amusing as this is.”

He sticks his tongue out at her and Will steps back. Maybe it’s just getting the casts off finally but he thinks some of it is having Hailey here.

He doesn’t know much about this new partner of his brother’s but he thinks he likes her.

She’s good for Jay.

Chapter Text

Jay throws a wad of paper Hailey’s way as she steals yet another pen from his desk.

“One of these days I’m going to tally up the cost of all of those pens and have you charged with grand larceny.” he threatens.

She just laughs at him and he shakes his head.

Then he freezes, looking around and sniffing the air.

“Guys, we need to get out of here.” he says, standing up.

“What?” Adam says, looking over at him in confusion.

Jay coughs.

Shit, this is a high concentration.

“I’ll explain outside.” he says, shaking his head. “We need to go. Now.”

The team finally starts to move, trusting his urgency even if they don’t understand.

But they’re also starting to cough and he can see Kim rubbing at her eyes.

Adam is the first to drop, clutching his chest but the others aren’t far behind.

Kevin is the first to puke but he sets off the others and Jay looks around, looking for the source.

Who would have a reason to pump phosgene gas into the precinct? And what else are they planning?

He needs to find the source and stop the gas.

He makes his way back to his desk, coughing into an arm flung across his face.

They’d had to work through a gas chamber in boot camp, learning how to stay functional even when their bodies feel like they’re dying.

He can do this but that doesn’t make any of it pleasant.

He’d smelled it first, which might have been just because he knew what he was smelling, but maybe that means that the source is nearby.

Before he finds anything, he hears something on the back stairs.

Drawing his weapon, he moves in that direction, blinking his burning eyes in an attempt to clear his vision.

His team is down in the bullpen, all of them defenseless against whoever this is.

He leans against the corner of the wall, his body planted between his team and the oncoming threat.

His throat is burning, chest tight and nausea is twisting and turning in his stomach.

They’d been in the gas house for about thirty seconds in training. It’s already been longer than that.

And he distinctly remembers dropping to his knees and puking his guts out as soon as he’d gotten out of there.

Not to mention crying like a baby.

He’s definitely going to do that this time too.

The door creaks open and he swallows hard, pushing off the wall.

“C.. PD.” he calls, pushing through the tightness in his lungs.

A gun pokes around the corner.

“I didn’t expect anyone to still be standing.” a voice calls back, the muffled quality suggesting that it’s owner is wearing a gas mask.

“Sorry… ‘bout that.” Jay calls back. “Put… the gun… down.”

“Barely on your feet.” the voice calls back, laughing. “And I’m not alone.”

“What… do you…. want?”

“I’ll get that for myself just as soon as you’re out of the way.”

Tactically, he should wait for them to come out or leave. They can’t get into the bullpen without going past them and he has the advantage playing the defense.

And a major disadvantage stepping out into the open.

But he isn’t sure how long he’ll be on his feet and he won’t leave his team defenseless if there’s any other options.

He presses forward, leaning against the wall on his right side.

It’s three steps to the stairwell door and then he flings it open, diving into the fight.

There are three men in tactical gear on the stairs.

He drops the furthest back gunman with a bullet to the head, simultaneously grabbing the leader’s gun with his left hand and jerking it forward.

The man punches him in the face, knocking him back against the wall.

Jay holsters his own weapon and twists the gun they’re fighting for, slamming their hands against the wall until the weapon drops to the ground.

The man drives forward into him and Jay drives an elbow into the man’s face, slinging his arm around his neck and ramming his knee into the back of the man’s legs.

He’s perched with a knee in the man’s back, holding the choke hold as the man starts to slow his movements beneath him when the second man reaches him, pressing a gun against the back of his head.

“Get your hands off him, man.”

Jay hesitates, waiting an extra second for the man underneath him to go fully limp.

“I won’t tell you again.” the man snarls.

Jay drops his head and twists, driving under the weapon and pushing it up and away with his left hand.

He drives up, slamming the man against the wall with his forearm.

A knee catches him in the stomach and he stumbles backward, dropping to his knees and losing the fight against his nausea.

While he’s puking a hand grabs the back of his head, slamming his head against the wall.

He kicks back hard, knocking the man away from him and then turns, hooking legs to drop him to the ground.

He follows through, dropping to one knee to drive a series of punches into the man’s face.

He’s just rolling him over and pulling his arms back to put the cuffs on when an arm loops around his neck from behind.

He’s drug back, pulled off balance and his chest aches with the strain, eyes watering further as his face is pointed directly at the stairwell lights.

He throws his head back, crashing it against the face of the man behind him and then throwing a harsh elbow.

He lurches forward, flipping the man over his head.

He crashes to the ground, landing hard on top of his buddy and Jay lets himself fall, his knee colliding with the man’s head and sending him under.

He cuffs both men to the railing of the stairs, double checks the third guy on the stairs and then pulls out his phone.

“Control *cough*, this is *cough cough* badge number 56113. need back up *cough* to the 21st district.”

“We received a silent alarm from the desk sergeant but we haven’t been able to get ahold of anyone. Patrol units and SWAT are routing to your location, closest support is two minutes out.”

“Phos *cough* gene gas.” he manages. “Three *cough* offenders in *cough* stairwell. One DO *cough* A.”

“We’ll loop in CFD and update SWAT.”

He stumbles back into the bullpen.

The team is still on the ground, coughing and gagging but he can track everyone audibly breathing.

“Helps *cough* coming guys.” he says, staggering over to the windows.

They’ve never been opened in the time that he’s worked here but he needs to get airflow in here so he opens them as wide as he can before making his way over to the fan Adam keeps on his desk and turning it on.

“Hang *cough* *cough* on guys.”

He’s leaning heavily on the desk when the gate buzzes and patrol officers in gas masks make their way into the bullpen.

“Stair *cough* well.” Jay manages, nodding that way.

Once the two suspects have been secured, paramedics rush into the bullpen.

Jay waves them off, motioning them to the rest of the team and soon enough, the others are sitting up with oxygen masks over their faces.

Kim, Kevin and Hailey also have IV lines running with anti- nausea meds.

A paramedic turns to Jay who has an oxygen mask held over his own face.

“How are you feeling?” she asks. “Any nausea?”

“A *cough* little.” he manages. “I’m… fine.”

“Don’t *cough* listen to him.” Hailey says. “Always fine.”

“Not *cough* my *cough* first *cough* ro *cough* deo.” Jay forces out, despite his lungs feeling like they’re seizing up.

“You called it in, right?” the paramedic asks and he nods.

“After you took down the suspects?” she presses and he nods again.

“If you were moving around up here, you would have breathed in a lot more of the phosgene than the rest of your team.” her partner jumps in. “You should really sit down.”

“‘m fine.” he says, pushing off the desk.

Stars spark at the edges of his vision and he pauses, reaching for the desk to hold himself up. He doesn’t make contact and drops to his knees, hand coming up to clutch his chest.

The coughs have turned into unproductive wheezes and he looks up, eyes filled with panic as he meets Hailey’s gaze.

And then the haze closes in on him.

Hailey watches in shock as her partner is rapidly loaded up onto a stretcher and then raced out of the bullpen.

She’d known he was struggling more than he let on but she hadn’t thought it was this bad.

Everyone who was in the precinct are being bussed to Med for a checkup. Which, since there were over thirty people inside, means that they’ve brought a literal bus to transport everyone.

Hailey sits at the back of the bus with the rest of her team, strangely reminded of high school when she was not one of the cool kids who got to sit here.

“Have I mentioned lately *cough* how badass Jay is?” Adam says.

“We’ve heard *cough* about your man *cough* crush, yes.” Kim says, nudging him with her foot.

“We were down for *cough* the count, man.” Adam says, shaking his head. “And Jay was *cough* badass.”

“Military train for gas attacks.” Voight says, resting against a window and looking a little more old and tired than usual. “And Halstead doesn’t do anything halfway.”

“I’d hate to *cough* do this *cough* intentionally.” Hailey says, shaking her head.

“Yeah *cough* this sucked *cough* ass.” Kim agrees.

They’re quiet for the rest of the drive and then they are being herded off the bus.

Will is part of the receiving party helping to triage and Hailey frowns.

“How’s Jay?”

“Doctor’s are looking him over now.” he tells her. “Ethan didn’t think it was too serious, just a little more lung irritation. He was more worried about a concussion, actually.”

Hailey sighs.

“He got in *cough* one hell of a fight *cough* in the stairwell.” she says.

“So you’re saying I should see the other guy?” Will says, offering her a grin.

“Other three.” she points out.

His eyes widen slightly and she nods.

“Get *cough* to work *cough* doc.”

He nods, making a note on the triage sheet and handing her a tag.

“Hang in there.” he assures her, stepping away.

It takes two hours for everyone to get moved through the station.

Voight is getting an extra breathing treatment but the rest of the team have been allowed to hang out in the room, staying together while they wait for word on Jay.

They’re not talking much, all of their throats still a little irritated from the gas.

Will finally steps through the door.

“Hey.” he says, looking around. “He’s going to be fine. There is a lot of lung and throat irritation to contend with and he’s gonna be on oxygen for a couple of days, looking at several breathing treatments as well.”

“Concussion?” Hailey asks.

“Grade two.” Will confirms. “He’ll be miserable for a couple of days but no other concerns showed up on the CT.”

“Can… we… see him?” Voight asks.

“They’re getting him settled right now.” Will says. “Your treatment is almost done and then I can take all of you up.”

Jay is pale and exhausted but his eyes are open.

“You… guys… okay?” he gasps.

“You’re ridiculous.” Adam says, shaking his head.

He just raises an eyebrow and Hailey laughs, turning into a coughing fit.

“We’re *cough* good.” she answers.

He nods, letting his head rest against the pillow.

“Dude.” Will says. “You’re practically falling asleep on us, just give in.”

“We’re going to *cough* head out, anyway.” Voight says. “Sleep, kid.”

Jay nods, reaching for Hailey. She steps forward, taking his hand.

“I’ll stay.” she promises him.

He squeezes her hand and she leans forward, kissing his forehead.

“Sleep.” she urges.

His eyes slide closed and his head rolls slightly toward her.

The rest of the team inches slowly out of the room and Will settles into a chair.

His brother will be just fine.