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Chapter Text

KEVIN

"I hate orange."

"Stop complaining."

Kevin pulled his top over his head in one movement and grimaced. Every movement hurt him, but he had to ignore it. Jean, who was changing next to him, sighed softly.

"You need to take it easy today, Kev."

"Never." Kevin would sooner die. Exy wasn't just his life, it was his only way to survive. He couldn't stop, couldn't take a break, couldn't cut back. He had to play, no matter how much his body hurt.

Jean sighed again. He had been doing that a lot lately. "You're an idiot," he muttered in French.

Within a few minutes, Jean and Kevin had changed and were standing next to their team members in the small lounge that was available for the guests. Everything was white and orange - a complete contrast to the dark red and black at home. There were even windows that let in sunlight. Jean had moved closer to the windows to soak up as much sunlight as possible.

Kevin couldn't blame him. He would love to lie down on the grass outside and feel the warm rays on his skin. But as number two, he had to set a good example and be a role model.

Riko went through the last few things and then shooed everyone onto the pitch to warm up. There was no sign of the master and Kevin knew that he wouldn't see Tetsuji Moriyama until kick-off.

Riko and Kevin had put together the starting line-up and would also decide who would be substituted and when, but against a team like the Foxes there would probably be few substitutions. The Foxes were too busy tearing each other apart to really guard the goal or even score any themselves.

The orange and white blinded Kevin as he entered the pitch and it took him a second to get his bearings. He always had problems with this, even though he was the most able of his team members to leave the nest. Nevertheless, so many bright colors always overwhelmed him a little.

The Ravens had been warming up for a few minutes when the Foxes joined them. As expected, they were a bunch of misfits who would rather beat themselves up than take on their opponents.

Dan Wilds led them onto the pitch and shouted a few commands, which were ignored by most of the players. A few players began to warm up with her, but others did anything but.

Kevin watched them out of the corner of his eye as he went through his own drills. The blond goalkeeper, Andrew Minyard, sat in the goal and also seemed to be watching the others. The newest addition, Neil Josten, fired ball after ball at Andrew without hitting him once. The goal kept glowing red and Kevin wondered why Neil was wasting his time aiming at Andrew when he was doing nothing.

"Andrew Minyard is supposed to be one of the best goalkeepers." Riko's voice snapped Kevin out of his thoughts. "Do you remember him?"

Of course. Kevin and Riko had flown to Columbia especially to recruit Andrew. But he had made it very clear to them that he would never play for the Raven. Kevin had quickly pushed him out of his mind, even though it had been unusual to hear him say no. Usually his or Riko's name was enough to convince others to sign with Edgar Allen.

"You can see where he landed," Kevin replied, eyeing Neil and Andrew for a moment longer before turning to Riko and looking into his dark eyes.

There was no warmth there. Nothing of the boy Kevin had met over 15 years ago. This boy had been dead for a long time. Buried under all the things Riko had suffered in his life. Kevin only knew a fraction of it, but he knew that more had happened. Things Riko didn't talk about, but Kevin had seen the bruises. Had seen Riko limp after he'd been with his uncle. He heard him whimpering at night and sometimes screaming. Riko was a broken man, but that didn't make him a victim. Riko had taken the shards of his heart and rammed them into Kevin, into Jean, into every Raven. Riko used his own anger and grief to do to others exactly what he had probably experienced himself. Kevin had stopped thinking of Riko as his friend years ago, but he still remained his brother.

Riko laughed mirthlessly. "We're going to destroy them, Kevin. I expect at least seven goals from you."

Translated, that meant Kevin had to score at least seven goals or he wouldn't get any food for a week or he had to sleep in the freezer or whatever punishment Riko came up with.

Kevin caught Jean's gaze as he got ready with the backliners and he could tell from his face that he knew what Riko was asking him to do. But there was nothing either of them could do about it. As long as Riko was alive, he had the power over both of them to do whatever he wanted. It made no difference whether the two of them were toys or living people. They belonged to Riko.

A few minutes later, Dan and Riko stood opposite each other and shook hands. Kevin stood in his position, racquet in hand, and took his first look at the backliner he would be playing against today. He was... small. He was maybe up to his shoulder, if that. Kevin couldn't see his face because they already had their helmets on and were just waiting for the whistle, but Riko had made sure Kevin knew every Foxes player and especially their backliners, since he would be playing against them most of the time as a Striker. Aaron Minyard was Andrew's twin brother and a good backliner, but nowhere near as good as Jean, who had been brought up to be a backliner.

Kevin had watched one of the Foxes' games last night with Riko and Jean. Riko had made sure that Kevin really heard everything. His body still ached from the memories of what would happen if he couldn't reproduce the next move down to the smallest detail.

The referee's whistle blew and the game began.

It was chaotic and fast, but the Ravens kept the upper hand. Aaron struggled to keep up with Kevin, but he managed to defend the goal so that Kevin could barely get around him. Because Aaron was so small, it was easy to throw over his head, but Aaron expected this and tried everything to iron out this flaw.

By the end of the first half, Kevin had scored three goals and Riko four.

The Foxes had started to fight at one point because Seth Gordon hadn't passed the ball to Neil, who had then started to swear at him. Seth in turn had thrown his stick to the side and went after Neil, who apparently didn't shy away from a fight and also went after Seth.

The half-time break was used to analyze weaknesses. The Foxes had a few and although it was 7-1, Neil had somehow managed to score a goal, the Ravens didn't think about slowing the game down.

"Four goals, Kevin," Riko hissed at him as they re-entered the pitch.

Kevin nodded. He knew that.

Aaron entered the pitch without a helmet. Kevin was surprised that the Foxes didn't swap. They had a total of three backliners who could easily take turns during the game. He knew that Nicholas Hemmick and Matt Boyd had already taken turns in the first half, so why not swap Aaron now to give him a chance to recover?

Aaron's eyes met Kevin's as he repositioned himself in front of him. He said nothing to him and Kevin did nothing but look at him. There was something about Aaron that intrigued him. Maybe it was the fact that he kept playing even though he had already played a whole half.

This was nothing new for Kevin. If he wanted to remain number two, he had to play 90 minutes. Riko and Jean did the same. But for someone else...

A whistle sounded, but not from the referee. Aaron turned towards the goal and looked at his doppelgäner. Andrew Minyard stood in the goal, leaning on his stick and raising an eyebrow. Aaron shrugged his shoulders and pulled his helmet over his face.

Kevin wondered if it was a twin thing that they communicated like that or if he had missed something essential. But he couldn't think about it any longer, because the doors to the pitch were closed and the referee blew the whistle to start the game.

The second half was different. The Foxes didn't necessarily function better as a team, but the Ravens still had trouble scoring.

Andrew let in four balls. Three from Kevin and one from Riko, but then he sealed the goal. He blocked every single ball, no matter how hard it was shot.

Aaron worked even harder as a backliner and blocked almost every one of Kevin's attacks. Normally Kevin could have scored more than three goals, but Aaron made it difficult for him and when he did get past Aaron, there was Andrew. The twins were an insurmountable wall and then there was Neil Josten. The new arrival who made it particularly difficult for the Raven backliners.

The game ended 11-4 in favor of the Ravens, but at the final whistle Kevin felt like he was going to die.

He was one goal short. He had only scored 6. A single goal...

As protocol would have it, he took off his helmet and stood with his team to shake hands with the Foxes, but they were too busy blaming each other for why they hadn't won. Only Dan and Renee approached Riko and shook his hand.

"That was a good game," said Renee with a smile. "We can still learn a lot from you." Next, she shook hands with Kevin and Jean, who were standing next to Riko. Kevin just nodded. Riko usually did the talking. Jean and he were just his pets.

"Kevin, talk to the reporters. I don't feel like it today." Riko made a dismissive gesture to let him go. Jean followed Kevin to the reporters.

Aaron and Allison also had the task of talking to the reporters, as Kevin found himself next to the blonde backliner a little later, answering one boring question after the next.

Was he happy about the victory? Of course he was.
What could the Ravens improve? Their defense.
Does Kevin have any tips for the Foxes?

He could feel Aaron and Allison's eyes on him as he asked the question, but Kevin didn't let that bother him. The Foxes were a bunch of problems, but they all had potential. He'd been too focused on himself during the game, but he'd still picked up on a few things. Riko had forced him to analyze more than one game. Kevin knew that the individual players were good, but together...

"You have to learn to function as a team. Any team is only as good as its weakest member, but if the individual members don't mesh, it doesn't matter. The team has potential, but not if they can't play together. Exy is a team sport." At the last words, Kevin looked at Aaron and noticed for the first time that his eyes looked almost like amber.

Allison next to Aaron rolled her eyes, but Aaron returned Kevin's gaze.

"We'll meet again in a few months and then we'll destroy you."

Chapter Text

AARON:

"What the hell, Minyard?" Allison nearly screamed as they left the room with the reporters and finally got changed. Aaron ignored her and headed for the men's locker room, but Allison grabbed his arm and forced him to stop.

"Let go of me, Allison," Aaron hissed, trying to swallow the bile rising inside him.

He didn't like Allison. Not because she was a bad person, he didn't know her well enough for that, but because she looked too much like his mother. She could be calm one moment and snap the next. She knew how to hit and how to humiliate someone with words. She was like her. His mother. So no, Aaron didn't like Allison Reynolds. And he especially hated it when Allison touched him, when anyone touched him.

"No! You tell me what that was about first."

"What's going on?" came Coach Wymack's voice. "I took my eyes off you guys for ten minutes and you're yelling at each other again. Allison, let go of Aaron!"

Allison's fingers loosened from Aaron's arm and Aaron felt like he could breathe a little easier again.

"Aaron just said in front of the cameras that we're going to crush the Ravens next game."

"Destroy," Aaron improved her, because why not? He was tired and just wanted to take a shower.

Wymack rubbed the bridge of his nose and sighed loudly. "We'll see how good we'll be in the next few games. But for now: off to the showers with you. We're debriefing the game in five minutes."

Allison gave Aaron another withering look before turning around and disappearing into the women's changing room.

Aaron didn't waste another second and opened the door to his own changing room. The others had already showered and were getting changed. There was no sign of Josten, but Aaron knew that he was probably changing in the shower.

"How was the press?" Nicky wanted to know, standing next to Aaron's locker in just his underwear and looking at him expectantly.

One look at Nicky's darker skin, toned body and height, and the hatred in Aaron flared up again. He loved his cousin, in his own way, but sometimes it wasn't fair that Aaron... looked the way he did.

"Put some clothes on, Nicky." Aaron grabbed his towel and fresh clothes and disappeared in the direction of the shower.

As he was about to close the door of one cubicle behind him, another opened and Neil came out, dressed and with wet hair. Their eyes met, but before Neil could say anything, Aaron slammed the door shut and undressed.

He turned the water all hot and then ice cold. It was one of the ways he hurt himself. Unlike Nicky or Andrew, who had tried it with knives, razor blades or other things. Aaron's way of self-punishment was more subtle, something that others didn't notice.

He tried to wash the touches of Allison and Kevin Day off his skin. Day had pushed him hard against the wall or otherwise touched him more than once to get past him, but Aaron had done everything he could to stop him from scoring. Still, he had failed six times.

Aaron closed his eyes and let the cold water flow over his body. Only when he heard his name did he open them again.

"Aaron?" That was Andrew.

"I need five more minutes," Aaron replied and reached for the shampoo.

He didn't hear any footsteps, so Andrew was still there and he wouldn't leave until Aaron got out of the shower and he could see him. Until he could make sure that Aaron was okay.

So Aaron hurried, even though he didn't want to. Everything inside him was screaming to get back into the shower stall and turn the water on either hot or cold so he wouldn't have to hear his thoughts.

Andrew was wearing the white team sweater, which was rare. Normally he only wore black when he wasn't wearing the jersey. His gaze slid over Aaron's body to check for injuries. When he found nothing, because of course Aaron had no superficial injuries, he turned and walked out of the washroom. Aaron guessed that the debriefing had probably already started, but he didn't care. He could still feel Allison's grip on his wrist and Kevin's body on his.

He ignored the looks from his team members when Andrew and he finally entered the room.

Wymack ignored them and continued with his analysis of the game. "You have to learn to work together." Wymack pointed at Neil. "The game isn't all about you or winning, Josten. Accept that the others aren't going to keep giving you the ball. And you," he pointed at Seth. "Learn to play with Josten. We don't have enough Strikers and Exy is still a team sport." Next, he turned to Aaron, Matt and Nicky. "Your defense was really good today. Especially from you, Aaron. For playing through two halves, you didn't let up for a second. Day is a hell of a player and you covered him successfully."

"I still let in six goals."

"Six out of almost 70 attempts, Aaron. Don't forget that." Wymack's gaze lingered on him for a second before turning to Renee and Andrew, but Aaron tuned him out.

He hadn't realized how many times Kevin had tried to aim at the goal. He had done his best to fend him off, but in the end they had still lost. Aaron had felt like a failure, but Wymack's words gave him something back. What, he didn't know yet.

"Hey, Ari." Nicky poked him gently in the side, bringing him out of his thoughts. "What do you want to eat?" Aaron's gaze slid from his cousin to his brother, who had raised an eyebrow and was obviously waiting for an answer. The others were already leaving the stadium and Wymack was in his office.

"Chinese?" Aaron didn't actually want to eat anything. He just wanted to go to bed and sleep.

"Sounds good." Nicky's smile was almost contagious, if Aaron couldn't see the worry in his eyes.

He didn't know how Nicky did it, but somehow he always seemed to know when Andrew and Aaron weren't feeling well. Nicky had sacrificed so much for them and yet he kept going. He could have gone back to Germany to his boyfriend Erik at the end of the twins' time at school, but he stayed. For one thing, the scholarship had given him an enormous opportunity to finally be able to study, something he had also had to give up because of the twins, and for another, he could continue to look after them.

The three of them left the stadium and got into Andrew's car. Only then did Aaron notice that someone was missing.

"Where's your shadow?" he asked his brother, who put the key in the ignition and brought the car to life.

"Sent him away with the others." Without going any further, Andrew drove to the nearest Chinese restaurant.

Unlike usual, they didn't get anything to take away, but sat down in the small restaurant and ate on the spot. Over the next few hours, Aaron forgot a little about the hands on his skin, the voices in his head and the feeling of having failed.

When he was with his family, the world was a little more bearable. They weren't perfect and Aaron still had trouble understanding his brother, but he was trying and Andrew was trying in his own way.

The next day, Aaron sat hunched over his study notes and tried to memorize the individual bones in a human body. He had already written all over his left arm, but he found it hard to concentrate. Nicky was sitting a few meters away from him in one of the beanbags, playing some video game, while Andrew sat by the window and smoked. Not an unusual Saturday lunchtime in itself. Some weekends the three of them went to Columbia and since Neil joined the team, he went too. The first time there hadn't...gone well for Neil, but that was another story.

Aaron was generally surprised that he hadn't seen anything of him today. Usually Neil was with them a lot in the dorm room because Seth and Matt did a lot with the girls and Andrew and Neil were strangely obsessed with each other.

"Take a break, Ari," Nicky said five minutes later. His game was over and he was already wiggling the second controller.

"Not today," Aaron mumbled. He could barely concentrate on his study notes, how could he concentrate on a game? "I'm going to get a coffee." Aaron closed his book. He might as well give up now.

"We have a coffee machine," Andrew reminded him.

"I know, but I need exercise and fresh air." Aaron's head was buzzing with information and his back ached from sitting. He put on his jacket and grabbed his wallet. Outside the door stood Neil, who had raised his hand to knock. "Drew, your boyfriend's here."

Neil rolled his eyes at Aaron's words and slipped past him into the dorm room.

"Neil! Play with me!" Nicky's enthusiastic voice rang out immediately.

Aaron also rolled his eyes and descended the three floors to finally get outside.

The walk to the café wasn't too far, but Aaron enjoyed every minute of it. He breathed in the fresh air and enjoyed the warm rays of sunshine on his skin. Autumn had always been Aaron's favorite season, along with spring. Summer was too hot and winter was kind of depressing, but fall and spring had the perfect temperatures.

"Well, well, well." Aaron stopped at the words and looked into eyes that were far too green. "Aaron, isn't it?"

Aaron blinked to make sure that Kevin Day was really standing in front of him. He had thought the Ravens had left last night and yet here he was. And he knew him. He had been able to tell him apart from his brother.

Aaron nodded slowly. "What are you doing here?" he blurted out.

Kevin smiled briefly, but the smile barely reached his eyes. "I had a little look around on the campus. Our flight doesn't leave until tonight. Someone booked the wrong tickets and that's why we're still stuck here."

"And where is Riko?" Anyone who was even remotely involved with Exy knew that Kevin and Riko only existed together. Where there was one, there was the other. One never went anywhere without the other. Aaron had noticed yesterday at the press conference that Kevin's partner was Jean instead of Riko, but since Jean was number 3, Aaron hadn't thought anything of it.

A shadow passed over Kevin's face, but in the next moment it was gone as if it had never been there. "Riko is at the hotel with the other Ravens. He wanted to... Never mind. I wanted to tell you yesterday that I thought the way you played was really impressive. Not as good as Jean, of course, but you have potential."

He has potential. Aaron had hardly ever heard that before in his life. He was always told he was a failure, a disappointment, not good enough.

"Umm...thanks?" It sounded more like a question than a statement, but Kevin didn't let it bother him.

"Do you fancy going out for a meal or a drink with me? I'm starving and I'm not expected back yet. Only if you have time, of course." That was even more surprising than Kevin's praise. Dumbfounded, Aaron stared at Kevin. "You don't have to. I'd just want something to eat and well..." Kevin scratched the back of his neck. Was he nervous? "I don't know my way around here and I thought we could talk about yesterday's game and..."

"Gladly," Aaron interrupted him. "I was on my way to get a coffee anyway."

Why did he say that? Why had he said yes? He didn't know Kevin and all he really wanted to do was have a coffee and then go back to studying. Now he had to talk to him for at least half an hour, otherwise it was rude. And anyway, it was Kevin Day. The Exystar. His mother had invented the sport.

Kevin's green eyes lit up a little and he put on his smile again, which still didn't quite reach his eyes, but it was more honest than the first.

They walked in silence to Aaron's favorite café. He always went here for a coffee when he had the time, which was less often than he wanted.

Kevin had watched and absorbed everything the entire way as if he had never been on a college campus before, which is ridiculous because he is, after all, studying at Edgar Allen University.

"What are you studying?" Aaron asked him. Thanks to the media, he knew a lot about Kevin, but nothing like this.

"History. You?"

"History?"

"Yes." Kevin frowned and held the door open for Aaron. Aaron slipped past him.

The queue was thankfully almost non-existent, which was unusual for this time of day on a Saturday, but Aaron wasn't about to complain. He ordered his usual coffee and waited for Kevin's order. He stared at the blackboard above the order counter as if he had to decipher a difficult formula.

"Kevin?" Aaron touched him briefly on the arm, causing him to flinch. Aaron quickly withdrew his hand and took a step back. "What...what do you want to drink?" He had to clear his throat once to get his voice under control. He hadn't expected such a reaction. Only people who...

"An iced chocolate please," Kevin ordered and gave the barista his fake smile. "And a chocolate muffin."

Aaron paid for the two drinks and the muffin, even when Kevin complained. "Just invite me over when we play at your place," Aaron said, settling down at a free table. "So history, eh? Why?"

"Why not?" Kevin stared at his chocolate muffin and started breaking off small pieces that he didn't actually eat. "History is interesting. There are facts, but at the same time there are so many unknowns. We learn something new every day. Just the other day, new debris was found that could indicate that..." Kevin broke off in mid-sentence and shook his head. "Not that important."

Now it was Aaron who frowned. It was clear that it was a passion of Kevin's. The way his whole body had changed when he had spoken spoke volumes.

"What are you studying?" he brought the subject back.

"Medicine."

"Then you must be pretty clever."

Aaron wished he could say yes to that. That he could prove to Kevin how intelligent he was. He could blurt out a few facts, but his mother's voice was too loud. Failure. Useless. Ballast. The insults got louder and meaner. The accusations that Aaron destroyed everything he touched. That he would never amount to anything. That he was worth nothing.

Aaron took a big sip of his coffee, which was still far too hot, and shook his head. "I'm just learning a lot."

"Do you already know which field you want to work in? Don't you have to specialize at some point?"

"In residency. So I still have some time. I'm only in my second year."

"But do you already have an idea? If I had the chance, I would become an archaeologist."

"Oh really?" Aaron tilted his head and looked at Kevin. The tattoo on his cheek immediately caught everyone's eye, but Aaron only really noticed it now. "I might become a surgeon. A pediatric surgeon. I want to...help..."

That was one of the main reasons why Aaron wanted to become a doctor. He wanted to make a difference. He wanted to help children like him. Children who were abused, drugged or neglected by their parents. He was never helped. Perhaps because he rarely went to hospital, but also because no one ever listened to him. When he came to the emergency room with a broken arm and various abrasions, he was simply treated and sent home again. Why a 12-year-old was there at 3 a.m. without a parent was never questioned. Aaron had hidden the bill from his mother and secretly paid it off with her money. Tilda never noticed when money was missing anyway, as long as there was enough for her drugs and alcohol.

Kevin finally ate a small piece of his muffin. "That sounds great! I bet you'll make a good doctor."

"You don't know me."

"No, but I believe that you will become a good doctor. You have the opportunity now, Aaron. We athletes get a scholarship and I know the Foxes' reputation."

The reputation of the Foxes- Wymack, giving hopeless cases a second, third or fourth chance. Hopeless cases like Aaron was, is, he didn´t know.

"We're more than that." Aaron didn't know where that came from. His team was anything but a functioning team.

One corner of Kevin's mouth lifted. Only slightly, but it was a genuine smile. "I have no doubt about that."

Chapter Text

KEVIN

Riko would have taken Aaron's statement as an attack. He would have shown him that you shouldn't mess with the Ravens.

But Kevin wasn't Riko.

Instead, one corner of his mouth lifted. "I have no doubt about that." He held Aaron's gaze for a minute longer and then returned to his meal.

If Riko knew what he ate and drank here... He would make sure Kevin didn't eat anything for a week.

That was also the reason why he nibbled on his muffin rather than enjoying it properly.

When Kevin had seen the selection and realized that he could order whatever he wanted, he had briefly panicked. Riko wasn't here. None of the Raven's were here. They had stayed behind in the small hotel that one of the Master's employees had reserved. Probably the same employee who had bought the wrong flight tickets. They were supposed to be back in Evermore and back on the pitch by now. Kevin didn't know what his team members were doing now, but presumably Riko had managed to turn the hotel into a training ground or they were practicing at some school.

Kevin was kicked out by Riko.

In fact, he had never checked into the hotel.

Riko's punishment had been a night out. A night with nothing more on his body than his clothes and the backpack from the game.

He had bought a cereal bar and a bottle of water from a vending machine this morning, but hadn't eaten or drunk anything since.

It wasn't the first time Kevin had had to spend the night out alone, but so far it had always happened in Evermore, where he knew his way around. Where he knew where to sleep. Here, in Palmetto, he didn't know his way around. He had wandered around for hours and then rested for a few minutes on a park bench. The fear of being caught had been too great.

"You played well yesterday." Kevin forced himself to eat another piece of muffin. Despite his hunger, he could hardly get anything down.

"You already said that." Aaron took another sip of his coffee. There were dark circles under his eyes. From studying? Celebrating? Kevin didn't know what the Foxes did after a defeat.

"I'm looking forward to playing against you again soon. Maybe you'll have a chance against me then."

"Please." Aaron rolled his eyes. "I kicked your ass yesterday."

"And yet you lost."

"Something that won't happen again."

"Are you threatening me, Aaron Minyard?"

Aaron raised an eyebrow and thought about Kevin's words for a moment. "How do you know I'm Aaron and not Andrew?"

"For one thing, I'm sure you would have corrected me by now. At least I hope so," Kevin quickly added. "And for another, I know every team I play against. I know Andrew is your goalkeeper and as a goalkeeper he's built a bit differently to you. As a backliner, you have to be more agile, which means not having as much muscle mass. Andrew is a little wider because he doesn't have to move as much, but he also has to guard the goal. His racquet is heavier. Your job as a backliner is to protect the goal and the goalie, but also to stop me as a striker from scoring goals. You have to fight another person. That requires completely different parts of the body than that of a goalkeeper."

"So you were only able to tell us apart by our bodies?"

Kevin had to smile at the words. "There are official press photos of you." Aaron looked confused, which Kevin could understand all too well. "You have small differences. Your hair is longer than Andrew's. Your face is also narrower and you don't look like you're going to kill me at any moment."

Aaron opened and closed his mouth again, only to open it again. "Not everyone can tell us apart."

"You have to pay attention to the details. Someone who only sees you in passing would confuse you. But if they look at you, really look at you, they'll notice the differences."

"Mhh..." Aaron averted his eyes and stared at his cup. The sleeve of his jacket had ridden up, revealing scribbles and words that couldn't possibly be tattoos.

"Were you too drunk last night and the others painted you?" Kevin wanted to know with a nod to Aaron's arm.

He looked briefly at his left arm and then shook his head. "I tried to memorize the human bones."

"And?"

"And there's a hell of a lot of them." Aaron sighed softly and pulled down the sleeve of his jacket.

Kevin reached out and gently tapped Aaron on the ring finger. "What's that?" he wanted to know.

He noticed the twitch that had gone through Aaron's body when he touched him, but it was already too late to undo his touch.

Aaron held his hand in front of him and spread his fingers apart.

"A finger is made up of several joints." He tapped on the individual sections of his ring finger and rattled off the names and explained the functions.

Kevin tried to follow him, but the technical terms were ultimately too complicated and he gave up trying to follow him. Nevertheless, he listened intently.

Aaron seemed freer as he moved from the structure of the finger to the structure of the entire hand and explained each individual bone, joint and tendon to Kevin. The individual functions and what happened if you broke something. He was really absorbed in his explanations and probably didn't even realize that he was going on so much.

But for some reason, Kevin didn't care. For some reason, he felt comfortable around Aaron, even though they hardly knew each other. He only knew the facts about Aaron that the media knew about him. The way Aaron looked at him, really looked at him, was different. He saw Kevin. Not Kevin Day, star exy player. Not Kevin Day, son of Kayleigh Day.

"Sorry." Aaron broke off his explanation and leaned back in his chair. He had slid further and further forward during the explainations and was half lying on the table.

"Don't apologize." Kevin tried to smile, but lately he had never smiled because he was happy, so it was hard for him to manage a real one.

The master had given him press training from the moment he had taken Kevin in. Kevin knew how to behave in public. How to respond to questions and, above all, how to smile even though his body was on fire. Even though his own legs were so weak that they couldn't bear the weight. Even though you want to cry and scream. Kevin could put on his fake smile at any time and over the years he had forgotten how to smile properly.

"I'd better get back. I told my family I was just going to get a coffee and..." he started playing with his mug. "I should go."

Kevin didn't want him to leave. He didn't want him to be alone again. Ravens always operated in teams of two. Since his mother died, Kevin was rarely alone. Either Riko was with him or Jean or the master. Other Ravens or his classmates at university. Kevin was only alone when he was being punished. When he was locked out for the night. He hated being alone, but this solitude was also partly a blessing. Today he could eat a chocolate muffin and talk to a Fox.

Two things Riko would never have allowed. Still, he was afraid of the loneliness that would come when Aaron left him.

Nevertheless, Kevin nodded. "Of course. Go ahead. It was nice getting to know you a little, Aaron Minyard."

Aaron hesitated briefly and pulled up one corner of his mouth into a half-smile. "Likewise, Kevin Day."

Kevin tried to finish his muffin and drink his iced chocolate, but he felt sick, so he left the cafe and continued to wander the grounds of Palmetto University.

He didn't even know how exactly he had ended up here, except that he had suddenly seen Aaron and needed to talk to him.

His way of playing had fascinated him.

Kevin didn't get far when his cell phone vibrated in his pocket. He had barely looked at it to save battery.

"I want you to come back." Jean got straight to the point and didn't stay on the line long enough for Kevin to get a word in edgewise.

Sighing, Kevin put his cell phone back in his pocket and tried to find his way back to the hotel.

It took almost an hour, but when he entered the foyer, Jean was already waiting for him.

The dark circles under his eyes had grown even bigger and his lip had split open. Kevin could guess what his night had been like.

Jean silently led Kevin into the room he was supposed to share with Riko.

He stood at the window and looked out - like a villain from a bad movie. Kevin often felt like his life was one bad movie and Riko was the bad guy, even though he loved him too. It was complicated and fucked up.

"Our flight leaves in a few hours." Riko didn't turn to face him. "We can't leave our star player in this shithole, can we?"

Kevin remained silent. He didn't know what to say back. That was usually the case.

Riko finally turned to him and raised a dark eyebrow. "Did you find out why you didn't score seven goals yesterday?"

"The backliner..."

"No. Don't blame others, Kevin. You were too incapable of scoring enough goals. It was you and not that backliner. What was his name again?" Riko knew exactly what his name was.

"Aaron Minyard."

"Ah... exactly. The other Minyard twin. So, Kevin? How come you haven't scored seven goals?"

"I was too slow. I hesitated in one situation because I thought I wouldn't be able to break through the defense and passed the ball to you instead."

"That's right." Riko clapped her hands and it took all of Kevin's willpower not to flinch at the sound. "I think you learned your lesson after that night and will work on your mistakes."

"Yes, Riko."

Riko was a lot smaller than Kevin and yet he managed to look down on him.

"Good, you're my number two, we're the princes of Exys. Your mother would be disappointed in you if you weren't absolutely perfect in every game."

Kevin hated it when Riko mentioned his mother. When he said things that weren't true. Riko had never really gotten to know Kayleigh, so he didn't know what she would think of Kevin if he made a mistake.

Kevin's memories of his mother became more and more blurred every year and he found it increasingly difficult to distinguish the truth from Riko's words.

What if Kayleigh was really disappointed in him? What if she hated who Kevin was today? But Kevin knew his mother. He knew she would love him no matter how good he was at Exy. Kayleigh had always loved him. She had...

Kevin forced his thoughts to fall silent. He steered them in a different direction. He couldn't think about his dead mother now. Not in Riko's presence.

"You missed practice, Kevin." Riko's voice took on that dangerous tone it always did just before he punished Kevin or Jean. "And given the fact that you didn't even manage to score seven goals against such a ridiculous team yesterday, you really needed the training."

"I'll get changed straight away and join the others. Just tell me where they're training or let Jean lead me to them."

Riko's dark eyes flitted briefly to Jean, who was still standing silently behind Kevin.

Always the shadow, the servant, the toy. Never a human being.

Some days Kevin was afraid for him. Some days he screamed at Riko to leave him alone, to finally set him free. Other days, Kevin found Jean half unconscious in some corner. Other days he prayed to a God who had long since abandoned him to finally end or save Jean's life - it always depended a little on how selfish Kevin was.

He knew that death was a salvation for Jean, but it was also the only thing that kept Kevin alive.

Jean and Exy.

But lately, even Exy didn't feel right. Kevin played it for survival, not because he loved it.

There was a time when Kevin had loved Exy. When he had looked in the mirror beaming with joy and painted the 2 on his cheek. There was a time when he hadn't been afraid of Riko. When he had enjoyed being near him. When they had told each other secrets and stories. When Rikon was human.

Those days were long gone.

Riko's attention returned to Kevin and a smile slowly crept onto his face. "I have a plan for you. Just you wait and see."

The plan was not to let Kevin sleep.

He was used to training for several hours at a time and having less sleep as a result. But this was pushing his limits. Having spent the previous night outside with hardly any sleep, having played Exy at the highest level for 90 minutes and having eaten very little, the lack of sleep and the exertion were more noticeable than usual.

While the other Ravens used the return flight and the short stay at the airport to sleep, no one knew whether the master or Riko would have the mercy not to train after landing. But Kevin and Jean stayed awake.

Riko ordered Kevin to sprint up and down the center aisle during the entire flight. To do his laps over and over again.

Jean was to make sure that he didn't take a break, that he didn't fall asleep.

The other Ravens monitored Jean and every time one of them caught him nodding off, a ball was thrown at him.

Sometimes Jean was only hit in the upper body, but other times they hit his head.

Kevin started touching him lightly whenever he walked past him and realized that he was about to fall asleep.

Kevin's punishment was also Jean´s.

Officially, Kevin and Riko were a pair and since Jean was property in the eyes of the Moryiamas, he had no partner.

However, as Riko always rose above everyone else, Kevin and Jean quickly became an unofficial pair.

Kevin told himself that it all made sense. That a team was only as strong as its weakest member and when everyone was working at the same high level, nothing could stop them.

It was late at night when they finally arrived at the university and were able to get off the bus. Most of the Ravens had used the time to sleep, but Kevin could barely stay on his feet.

Riko looked bored at his cell phone. "The master wants us to play a practice game. After that, we can go to sleep."

Kevin hadn't seen Tetsuji Moriyama for over a day. He had no idea where he had disappeared to after the game, but of course he continued to give orders through Riko.

The Ravens got off the bus and headed straight to the stadium. No one spoke to each other as they changed back into their uniforms and headed out onto the field to warm up.

Kevin saw the bruises and scars on Jean's skin out of the corner of his eye.

Some of the scars had faded, but some were thick and bulging. Kevin knew every single one. Knew how they felt under his fingertips.

He had treated Jean more than once. Who knew if he would have survived each attack?

Kevin's punishments were more subtle.

Riko insulted him, made him feel worthless. He hit him where you couldn't see the bruises. He gave Kevin scars that no one would ever see.

No one knew how much Kevin suffered under Riko - not even Jean, and he was by Kevin's side most of the time.

Riko hadn't always been like this.

He used to be loving, caring, a good friend. He had comforted Kevin when he had cried over his mother's death. He had tended his wounds when the master had taught him discipline. Riko had told him stories when Kevin had had a nightmare. Riko had been Kevin's safe haven for years.

He was more than his best friend. He was his brother. Riko was Kevin's home, his world.

That only made the betrayal worse.

The guilt that Kevin still loved him and sometimes even protected him.

Kevin knew how wrong that was, and yet he couldn't change it.

Jean didn't understand him. In his eyes, Riko had always been a monster.

But Jean hadn't seen what Riko had been like as a child.

He had met him as a bad man, but Kevin had witnessed the transformation from the innocent child to the monster.

He knew Riko was just a broken man.

Nevertheless, the knowledge didn't make anything better.

Kevin stretched and warmed up for a few laps before stepping into his starting position and looking at Jean, who would be his opponent for the test game. He looked like he was going to tip over at any moment, but the grip on his racquet showed Kevin that he would never give up.

Riko and the Master had not been able to break his will even after all these years.

One of the ravens acted as referee and opened the game with a shrill whistle from the pipe.

Immediately, the players started to move. Kevin was tired, hungry and thirsty. He tried to remember the last time he had eaten and drunk anything. Was that lunch with Aaron? Was it that long ago?

His thoughts moved from his tired body to Aaron Minyard, who had so fascinated him.

The goal glowed red and a whistle sounded.

“Concentrate!” Jean hissed to him as he stood up again. "He's watching you. " He said the last sentence in French.

Kevin's gaze wandered to Riko, who was on the opposing team and had his eyes on him as well. Kevin nodded to him briefly and got back into position.

When the game was whistled again, his mind was clear and he focused on the game.

He was born for this. All his life, he was trained to become the best striker in the world. This was his legacy.

His body was moving almost automatically. No matter how tired and hungry he might be, he could always play. A 90-minute game should be possible for him in any condition.

Kevin pushed his body to the limit and beyond. He gave everything. Tricked Jean a few times and scored five goals before halftime.

The Ravens never took a full 15-minute break. The mistakes of the first half were briefly discussed and then it went on.

Most of them were subbed, except for Kevin and Jean.

This was their punishment. Their reward.

They were given the opportunity to train more, to become better and to prove themselves.

Riko was watching them. Presumably Master was also here somewhere watching them.

Either way, Kevin and Jean got the chance to get better.

This was more than just a training game. It was a game of life for death. Food or starvation. To a soft bed or the hard floor outside. Exy wasn't just a sport for Kevin for a long time. It was his life. His chance of survival.

The game ended with a win for Kevin's team.

Kevin forced himself to stay on his feet and keep the petty stomach contents with him.

A glance at Jean told him that he felt the same way.

Riko let the other ravens go to bed, but he stopped Jean and Kevin. “Jean, you were shitty,” he said honestly. “Did you even try to block Kevin?”

Jean just looked at him, because no matter what he said, it would be the wrong answer.

“Kevin, you can take a shower. You stink. Jean stays with me. ”

This expression had spread across Rico's face, revealing that the night was not going to end well for Jean.

Kevin wanted to protest. He wanted to protect him, to stand up for him, but what was he supposed to do? What power did he have over Riko?

So he turned around and left Jean to his fate.

Chapter Text

AARON:

"And then you just blocked him! I didn't even know that was possible. I mean we're talking about Kevin Day here! THE Kevin Day!"

"He's not that great."

"Are you kidding me, Aaron?"

Aaron looked up from his laptop and sighed softly. "No, Katelyn, I'm not."

"Feels like it, though." Katelyn was half lying on the table, looking up at Aaron who was working on the joint presentation.

They had to give the talk tomorrow and had met to discuss a few more things, but Katelyn was much more interested in the last game.

"Am I supposed to fangirl over Kevin Day like you do? I didn't even know you were that interested in Exy."

"Are you kidding me?" Katelyn repeated, finally sitting up to dramatically place a hand over her heart. "I'm a cheerleader, Aaron Minyard. My job is to be interested in sports. Besides, Kevin looks hot. Wait..."

She reached for her cell phone and typed something on it until she held it up to Aaron. "Kevin shirtless."

Aaron didn't want to see Kevin half-naked, but Katelyn held the phone out to him so he had no choice.

Katelyn was right, Kevin did look good.

But Aaron would never admit that out loud, and certainly not in front of Katelyn.

She tried to set him up with anyone Aaron thought was even remotely nice or even exchanged a few words with. That's why he hadn't told her about his coffee date with Kevin on Saturday.

"It's a shame he's so famous. Or do you think I have a chance?"

Aaron rolled his eyes again. "You want to start something with Kevin? Seriously?"

"Why not? He's good-looking and seems nice in the interviews. Or do you think he's gay? I'd totally respect that."

Aaron knew that. Katelyn could talk a lot and she flirted with everyone without exception, but she respected all sexualities and other boundaries.

"How am I supposed to know Kevin Day's sexuality?" Aaron asked.

"No idea." Katelyn shrugged and brushed a reddish strand of hair from her face. "You played against each other."

"Yeah, but we didn't have much of a conversation about life then."

Katelyn was lucky Aaron liked her for some reason. She was like a female version of Nicky. Maybe that was the reason.

"Tss..." Katelyn made and reached for Aaron's cell phone, which was on the table.

"What are you doing?" he asked, watching her enter his code. He should never have given it to her.

"You're not following him."

"What?"

"You don't follow Kevin Day on Instagram."

"Why would I?"

Katelyn looked at him over the screen of his cell phone with a raised eyebrow. "Aaron, sweetheart, you're playing Exy at a collegiate level. Shouldn't you be getting to know your opponents a little? Get to know them?"

"Wymack and Josten give us the most important information about the teams before a game."

"That's not what I meant and you know it. Why do you hardly follow anyone on Instagram?"

Aaron snatched his phone from her and stared at Kevin Day's profile.

It was public and of course he had a blue tick.

The pictures he posted all seemed to be from campaigns. Hardly any of them were personal or revealed anything about the person behind the success.

Kevin had talked about how much he liked history, but Aaron found none of that on his profile. Just pictures of Exy.

As a famous person, shouldn't Kevin be more approachable? Reveal more about himself?

Aaron didn't know what public life was like. The Foxes weren't successful or relevant enough to be famous. They were much more known for their reputation than the individual players.

Aaron wasn't famous just because he played Exy professionally. Kevin was.

"Who would I follow on Instagram?" Aaron asked back.

He followed his teammates and Katelyn. That was all he needed.

The only ones who really posted regularly were Katelyn, Allison and Nicky.

Aaron had never quite understood the point. Why would he publicly share pictures of his life with complete strangers? Make stories?

No one was interested in him in real life, so why should it change online?

"Kevin." Katelyn took the phone from him again, touched the screen and handed the phone back to Aaron.

The "Follow" button, which had previously been blue, was now white.

Katelyn had followed Kevin for Aaron.

"What the..." Aaron started, but Katelyn just grinned at him.

"Kevin probably doesn't even realize you followed him and now back to work." She said it as if she hadn't been the reason they hadn't been working for the last 20 minutes.

Aaron forgot that he had been following Kevin.

The day had been far too stressful.

After going over the presentation again with Katelyn, he had realized that he was way too late for his lecture so Aaron had sprinted from the library to his building, which unfortunately meant once across campus.

At that moment, Aaron was glad he was playing Exy.

The stamina stood him in good stead, but he still felt like he was dying as he tried to enter the lecture hall as quietly as possible.

Unfortunately, it was one of the classes where only a few people were enrolled and the professor knew them all by name.

"Well look who's graced us with their presence. I hope it wasn't too much for you to break away from your training, Mr. Minyard?"

Professor Blake was one of the few who thought nothing of the university's athletes. He had made that clear from the start.

Most of them supported the athletes in their academic training, but Professor Blake didn't care that Aaron Exy played. In fact, he despised him for it.

"Sorry," Aaron mumbled, settling into a chair and digging out his papers.

Professor Blake pierced him with his gaze for another minute and then left him alone. Aaron had already mentally prepared himself for quiz questions, because that's what Professor Blake liked to do.

For the rest of the lesson, Aaron wrote down every single word and tried to concentrate on what was being said.

After the lecture, he sprinted back to the Foxes' building, where Andrew stood leaning against his car with a cigarette in his mouth. Neil was standing far too close to him and there was no sign of Nicky.

Andrew just looked at Aaron with a raised eyebrow, but it was Neil who said something: "Why are you running?"

"Because I'm late, idiot."

Neil's eyes wandered to Andrew, who ignored him and continued to look at Aaron. "You're welcome to go running with me sometime, Aaron."

Now Aaron raised an eyebrow. "And when would I have the time to do that?"

"You could spend less time with your girlfriend," Andrew replied instead.

"Katelyn? We're not a couple and you know it."

"Semantics."

"What does that have to do with semantics?"

"You spend a lot of time with her."

"And you with Josten. Does that make you a couple now, too?"

Neil blushed slightly and Andrew's whole body tensed.

There was a time when Aaron didn't know how to deal with Andrew and what his blank stare had to say. By now Aaron knew that Andrew was actually expressing a lot through his body language.

"Andrew?" Aaron took a step back and eyed the two men in front of him. "Don't tell me you and Josten are a couple."

"Neil's nothing."

"I see, does Nicky know that?"

"No."

"I see."

"Can we go to training then?" asked Neil, having already opened the door to the car. The door to the back seat, which surprised Aaron.

"We're still waiting for Nicky." Andrew took a deep drag from his forgotten cigarette and flicked the stem onto the floor.

"Where is he anyway?" Aaron wanted to know and leaned next to Andrew, where Neil had been before.

"On the phone with Erik. Erik's grandma..." Andrew broke off in mid-sentence. "Nicky probably won't come to training."

"Oh..." Aaron had never met Erik's family because he had never flown to Germany. He hardly knew Erik himself because he had never been interested in him as a teenager. Aaron had been busy mourning his mother and getting clean. And then he'd been busy being mad at Andrew and mourning their non-existent relationship.

"So you and Josten."

"Shut up."

"I'm interested, Drew. When did this start?"

"I don't want to talk to you about it. Not right now."

"With Bee?" Aaron inquired a little more gently, waiting for Andrew's nod.

It had been a long road that they could now stand here together and talk about something like this. A few months ago, Aaron would have been angry, hating Neil and blaming him for taking Andrew away from him. Those feelings were still there, but much quieter and barely perceptible.

The twins had come a long way. Far too long. They had gone from strangers to brothers in the blink of an eye and yet it had never felt like they were brothers. Andrew was...just Andrew. Aaron knew he loved him. As much as he could love anyone. Andrew was his brother, after all, so he had to love him. He would kill someone for him if he had to, but still, their relationship had gotten off to a rocky start.

Aaron clutched his wrist and ran it over the small scar he'd received from Tilda after she'd returned home from a conversation with Uncle Luther. She had shouted at Aaron, punched him, thrown him against the wall and in the end she had had a knife in her hand and held it menacingly over Aaron's head.

At that moment, Aaron had really feared for his life for the first time. It was the first time he had thought he was going to die, that his own mother would kill him. It was the first of many times.

After that day, nothing was ever the same again.

Tilda had never been the best mother, but she had never tried to kill Aaron, but after it came out that Andrew existed, after Aaron found out he had a brother, Tilda changed.

Aaron had asked his mother a lot of questions:
Why didn't he know about Andrew?
Why had she given him away?
Were they identical or fraternal?
Who was older?
Would Andrew move in with them now?
Did he live with their father?

Then Luther found out that he had two nephews. Aaron had never known what the conversations between his mother and uncle were really about, but a little later Aaron met his brother for the first time.

It was in juvie. It was summer and Aaron was wearing a long-sleeved shirt.

Tilda came home drunk and high the previous night. Aaron had been high himself at the time, so he could barely remember what had happened, but when he woke up that morning with new injuries, he knew he couldn't face Andrew like that. So, despite the heat, he had put on a long-sleeved shirt.

He had asked Andrew why he was in juvie and Andrew had asked him who had done this to him. Neither of them had answered the other's question.

A little later Andrew moved in with them and a few months later Tilda was dead and Nicky came back from Germany to look after them.

Nicky, who now approached them and sat silently with Neil in the back seat.

Andrew and Aaron gave each other a look that said they would look after their cousin.

"Hey Nicky, how was your lecture?" Neil wanted to know as the twins sat down in the car and Andrew drove off to the stadium. They were more than a little late.

Nicky just shrugged his shoulders.

"I heard Matt talking about how he's got a new DVD. We could ask him if we can borrow it for tonight," Aaron suggested and got a shrug in response.

"You can paint my nails," Andrew tried. That usually made Nicky happy. It meant that Andrew felt comfortable enough for someone else to touch him. That he was spending time with Nicky.

Time they both needed, but Andrew in particular would never admit that.

Andrew needed Nicky, just as Aaron needed him.

They were lost without him. He was the sunshine, the glue that held them together. He was their life raft, their North Star that showed them the way.

Nicky wasn't perfect and, at the age of 19, he was anything but qualified to take in two problem teenagers, but for some reason the court had given him permission to become their guardian. Nicky had given up everything that was important to him. He had left the love of his life on the other side of the world to move to a country that had brought him nothing but grief and pain. He had to face his parents, who had called him a monster. Who made sure that Nicky was sent to conversion therapy because he was "wrong". Because that wasn't God's plan.

There were times when Nicky spoke openly about his past. In which he talked about all the terrible things that happened to him.

Especially during the time Andrew had come out, Nicky had been there to make sure Andrew didn't feel wrong. It was the first time Nicky had really told them about his past.

So Nicky was more to them than just their annoying cousin. He was their big brother, without whom they wouldn't be at PSU today.

The four of them arrived at the stadium, but none of them really felt like training. Not even Neil made a move to get out, even though he practically lived on the court.

Nicky was the first to open the door and walk towards the entrance. He typed in the current password and made his way to the changing rooms.

Andrew, Aaron and Neil followed him quietly. They changed in silence and stepped onto the pitch as one unit where the others were already training.

Wymack glanced at the four of them and noticed Nicky's look and swallowed the words that were on the tip of his tongue.

Andrew hadn't trusted him at first, but Aaron had somehow sensed that Wymack was one of the good ones. He seemed to instinctively realize when he needed to yell at someone or when he simply needed to give them their space.

The others seemed to have less understanding.

Allison opened her mouth, but Wymack was quicker: "Now that we're complete, we can have a test game. Andrew, Nicky, Matt, Neil, Allison against Renee, Aaron, Seth and Dan."

"One backliner against two?" asked Dan, perplexed. "And then against Neil?"

Wymack shrugged his shoulders. "Aaron put in an exceptional performance last time. I want to see what he can do." His eyes fell on Aaron, who wasn't trying to hide.

He hated this kind of attention. His mother had told him for years how shit he was. How worthless, how useless. That Aaron wasn't worth much more than the dirt under her sole and yet Wymack had signed him. He had given him another chance. A chance to improve his life. To survive. Andrew and Nicky had given him the foundation, but Wymack had made sure that all doors were open to Aaron.

And Kevin Day had told him he had potential.

"What are we waiting for?" asked Aaron.

"For the four of you to warm up." Wymack pointed to one side of the field. "The others get on with their practice."

The practice game was a disaster. Seth and Neil had made it their business to fight more than actually play Exy. Nicky spent most of the time just standing in his spot and Andrew, as usual, tried not to fend off any balls.

With Seth and Neil not really doing their job as strikers, it was up to Dan, Matt, Allison and Aaron to score goals.

Playing against Allison and Matt was not as easy as expected. Matt was a lot bigger than Aaron and it was easy for him to play over Aaron's head, while Allison was quicker.

But Dan wasn't their captain for nothing. She was a damn good exy player. She and Aaron harmonized surprisingly well because Dan kept shouting orders at him, which Aaron actually followed.

He may have had little to do with the upperclassmen, but he respected each and every one of them and he knew how important they were to the others.

For him, it had only been a means to an end in the beginning. A reason to get away from home. Then to spend time with Andrew and now to pay for his studies, but at some point over the past few years Exy had become his survival.

He played Exy not just because he enjoyed it, but because it kept him alive. It had protected him from his mother back then and now it protected him from his addiction and his thoughts.

When Aaron stood on the court, his racquet in his hand and the visor changed his vision, his thoughts fell silent.

Then the world turned a little slower and he could breathe more freely. Then there was only his team in front of him and his opponents. Then it was just him and the game. Aaron could understand why people like Neil or Kevin were so obsessed with this sport. Why they would give their lives for it. Aaron wanted to tell Kevin that he was grateful to his mother for inventing this sport back then. For giving people like him a reason to live.

But Kayleigh Day was dead and Kevin was in another state with another team and would surely have forgotten about him by now.

Chapter Text

Kevin

The world consisted of black and red. Red and black.

Kevin didn't know when he had last seen sunlight. The last few days blended into one another as if they were one big mass.

Jean didn't speak a word. He couldn't really either, because his mouth was a pile of wounds that were slow to heal. If he did speak, he probably wouldn't want to talk to Kevin.

It was always the same.

Tetsuji had told all the Ravens to train. That meant they weren't allowed to leave the nest under Castle Evermore. Not even to go to their lectures.

The Ravens were not expected to perform academically. They were expected to be a unit, win every game and take overthe Exyworld. Education and a degree were irrelevant.

Kevin missed it a little. He had loved the lecture halls, the smell of old books and, above all, he had loved learning something new.

History fascinated him because you could learn from its mistakes. Because you could see how humanity has changed on the one hand, but has also remained the same. Because it is a constant, a certainty.

History didn't change that quickly.

You couldn't change events just like that. The future was uncertain, but the past was set in stone.

It gave Kevin a little more certainty in a life where nothing was certain.

Kevin never knew what Riko's mood would be like today. How the master would react to mistakes. He didn't even know whether he would get something to eat and drink or whether he would be able to go to bed without pain.

Although that was always a guarantee.

If not because of Riko, then because of the training or the feeling of hunger and thirst, which sometimes robbed him of his senses.

A week had passed since he had played against the Foxes and was able to enjoy a little bit of freedom thanks to Aaron.

They had won his own game hands down, but that was to be expected. The team they had played was only in 5th place, Kevin and Riko had destroyed them together and Jean had guarded the goal despite the pain as if his life depended on it - it kind of did.

Now Kevin lay in his bed watching the replay of the Foxes game. Riko was lying in his own on the other side of the room with headphones in, probably watching an Exy game as well.

It was the little free time they had and they both spent it either analyzing their old games or watching the tactics of their opponents.

Jean was usually there too, but the master had called him over after dinner and Kevin hadn't seen him since. He prayed to a God who had long since abandoned him that Jean was still alive.

He could tell that the Foxes were really good players individually, but as a team they only worked semi well, although Kevin could see a change compared to the game against the Ravens. He had already watched the game several times and knew exactly where he had made mistakes, but now that he didn't have to pay attention to himself or his own team, Kevin noticed several things that he hadn't been aware of before.

Seth and Neil could hardly play together, but they were there for each other when the other was run over by an opponent. Neil rarely gave the ball away and instead always ran at goal on his own, but instead of getting rattled or frustrated by this, Seth had his back and made sure Neil could score more than one goal. Conversely, Neil made some impressive maneuvers to allow Seth to pass the ball to him so that he had a clear view of the goal.

When one of the two dealers joined them, the dynamic changed too. Dan and Allison were good at what they did and together they harmonized well, but Allison lacked stamina and Dan was less adept at taking risks. She preferred to play it safe, which meant that the ball often went to the opposing team.

Renee was good as a goalkeeper, but not the best. She tried hard and had the will to fight, but she was unable to defend the goal completely.

Andrew, on the other hand, was extremely lacking in will to fight and willingness to do anything for the team. He usually looked bored after the ball when a goal was scored and when he did defend a ball, he sent it into play in such a way that he almost hit his own team members.

Things got interesting when both Nicky and Aaron were on the pitch as backliners.

Kevin knew from his research that they were family, but that didn't mean anything.

Nicky was probably the weakest member of the team with Renee, but together with Andrew and Aaron he was a force to be reckoned with.

Aaron and he played as if they had everything to lose and as if Andrew was the one they had to protect and not the goal.

Communication was also different.

While Exy players usually shouted something to each other, the three of them communicated more or less silently.

The match recordings weren't designed to hear exactly what the individual players were saying to each other, as the overall stadium atmosphere and the reporter's comments were louder, but when a player was shown in close-up, you could sometimes tell if they were talking or what their general posture was.

Kevin had had to analyze so many different games throughout his life and had been taught how to interpret body language on the field. But the cousins' was different. They harmonized together in a way that the rest of the Foxes could not.

The opposing team's striker slammed Nicky into the wall on one play, causing his head to slam into the plexi and Nicky to stop moving for several seconds.

Andrew and Aaron had gone after the Striker a heartbeat later and both saw a yellow card for it, while the Striker was sent off with a red card.

Nicky had to be substituted for Matt, but only when both twins were satisfied that Nicky was okay did they return to their positions.

Kevin rewound the spot several times to make sure he hadn't made a mistake.

Aaron held up two fingers and at this gesture Andrew's whole posture changed. He no longer seemed absent, but focused. He gripped his racquet tighter and got into a position that was normal for a goalkeeper. He let the next two shots on goal in, but from then on he closed the goal.

Not a single ball that broke through Aaron and Matt's defense went into the goal.

Andrew blocked every single shot and skillfully sent the ball to Seth or Neil, who usually turned those balls into goals.

The Foxes were working together. Albeit a little bumpy, but they were a team - a unit - for the last fifteen minutes of the game.

Kevin sat up straighter in his bed and stared at the screen displaying the final score. The Foxes had won. 15:14.

"What's going on?"

Kevin had forgotten that Riko was in the room. He was slow to take his own headphones out of his ears and looked at Riko, who had raised an eyebrow.

"The Foxes have won."

"I know. I saw the score."

"Did you watch the game?"

"Why would I?"

Kevin turned his eyes away from Riko to look at the screen again. The Foxes had been 8 goals down until Nicky's substitution. They had scored 8 goals in 15 minutes and let in 2.

Andrew had let in 2.

On Aaron's signal.

"Kev?" Riko looked annoyed, which was not a good sign.

"Nothing," Kevin said quickly. "I was just intrigued by the game. The Foxes played well."

"It's all a matter of luck. They're the joke of the Exy league. No idea how they even made it to a pro team. Uncle once said he knew their coach."

Kevin frowned. "David Wymack learned how to play Exy under Tetsuji and Mom."

He didn't necessarily know Coach Wymack personally, but Kevin had a personal fascination with his mother. Probably because she had died so young and left him a legacy that was difficult to fulfill.

For this reason, Kevin consumed everything that had to do with his mother. Every interview, every public appearance.

Kevin had nothing of his mother but Exy.

Before the Foxes game, Kevin had researched the entire team, including their coach. David Wymack had been one of the first to train Kayleigh Day and Tetsuji Moriyama. He had played Exy himself for a while and then switched to coaching due to injury. He founded the Foxes just a few years ago to give young adults another chance in life.

Kevin admired that, but also thought it was stupid. Exy never gave anyone a second chance. You either delivered or you didn't. You could train and get better, but you would never be able to forget the defeats.

Now Kevin had Riko's full attention. "How do you know that?"

"I researched it before our game last week. You know how I like to know who I'm playing against and sometimes I get into this spiral where I google everything and everyone."

Riko grumbled quietly. "Anyway, unlike you, I've watched a really relevant game about our next opponents. I expect you to be able to talk about it tomorrow."

Riko closed his laptop and rose from the bed. "I'm going over to Cassidy's. You don't have to wait for me."

Cassidy was one of their team members and one of the few women. Riko and she had started fucking each other a few months ago, which Kevin absolutely did not like. He knew how rough Riko could be during sex and that he showed absolutely no consideration and Cassidy had always been quite nice.

Of course, she had also become a victim of the Ravens and her initial glow had dimmed. Now she was just functioning like most Ravens and accepting that Riko had chosen her as his new sex toy.

"Hey Riko?" Kevin held him back when he had already opened the door to the room. "Do you happen to know what your uncle was up to with Jean?"

For a tiny moment, Kevin could have sworn that Riko looked sad, but that moment was over so quickly that Kevin didn't know if he had imagined it.

"You're too attached to Jean, Kev. He's not worth anything. Have you forgotten why he's with us? His useless father was in so much debt that he gave up his own son as payment."

Kevin would have liked to say that he was worth just as little as Jean, as he was also just property in the eyes of the Moriyamas, but compared to Jean, he actually had more value. He was the son of Kayleigh Day, who had invented the sport after all. Jean's father was just some good-for-nothing who had trusted the wrong people.

"He's still our friend, Riko," Kevin still managed to say. "He's our number three. What would the Perfect Court be without a backliner like Jean?"

Riko closed the door and approached Kevin's bed. He squatted down on the floor in front of him and cupped his chin. The touch was gentle, almost loving.

"I love you, Kevin, you know that. You're my brother and my best friend, but Jean is just our toy - my toy to be precise. Uncle gave him to me so I could train him. I made him into the backliner he is today. It is only by my grace that he lives this life. My...father would have killed him for sure. Jean may be our number 3, but he must never forget where his place is. Behind us. You and I will become the best exy players in the world. We will break every record. You as my number 2 and me as number 1. Who cares about a number 3?"

Riko leaned forward and breathed a kiss on Kevin's lips.

"Jean may be your friend, Kev, but he's my plaything, my property."

With these words, Riko stood up again and left the room for good.

Kevin stared at the wall.

He should be asleep, but his thoughts wouldn't leave him in peace.

He thought about Riko and Jean. About their relationship.

He knew that Riko loved him, but sometimes he didn't feel it.

Especially on the days when Riko forbade him to eat, kicked him out of his room or made him train until he was exhausted.

But he did feel it at times, like when Riko told him, touched him, kissed him.

The latter happened extremely rarely and mostly when Riko felt the need to show Kevin that he belonged to him. That he was nothing without his number 1.

Kevin and Riko belonged together like the sun and the moon. Like a raven and its wings.

They needed each other.

But Kevin also knew that it was wrong.

That he had never given Riko permission to kiss him. That he had never given his consent for Riko to do anything with him in general.

He hadn't asked to sleep with this girl back then either. He hadn't wanted to, had resisted, but Riko had assured him that it was okay. That he would be there. Riko had undressed him and led him to the bed where the girl was already waiting - naked. He had taken Kevin's face in his hand and kissed him. Passionately. With complete devotion. Riko had watched as Kevin had lost his virginity. He had stayed by his side long after the girl had disappeared and had congratulated him on being a man now.

Riko was all Kevin had ever known. Riko, Jean and Exy. It was hard to imagine life without the two of them.

Sighing, Kevin reached for his cell phone, which was lying on the small bedsidetable next to his bed, and unlocked the screen.

He was very rarely on his phone because there were simply better things to do than be distracted by it. Nevertheless, it was important to him because it was the only way he could still participate in the world.

Kevin opened Instagram and looked at the little numbers that popped up to tell him he had new followers, likes and comments. He scrolled through the new comments, liking one here and there or replying to one.

His press team had taught him to always be friendly and approachable on social media. Kevin tried to stick to this, but sometimes it was difficult, because some people wrote such unbelievable garbage that he doubted humanity.

It was already late, but Kevin opened his gallery anyway and selected a picture from the last game and uploaded it.

It showed him and Jean cheering after the win. Kevin tagged Jean's account, even though he was even less on Instagram than Kevin, and watched as the likes and comments started to roll in.

He responded to a few more and was about to close the app when an account name caught his eye: a_minyard

Minyard
A
A Minyard
Aaron Minyard

Kevin clicked on the account name and was immediately redirected to the profile.

No pictures, no highlights, hardly any personal information other than the name, what he was studying and that he was a backliner for the Foxes.

The profile picture wasn't really exciting either. It was a mirror selfie where you couldn't see anything apart from the clothes and the blonde hair.

The most interesting thing about the profile, however, was the blue "Follow" button that said "follow back".

Follow back.

Aaron Minyard followed him.
Aaron Minyard had looked at his Instagram profile.
He had liked his picture.

Kevin switched off his phone and stared at the wall for a minute.

Then he opened the app again and looked at the "follow back" button again.

His thumb hovered over it for a moment before he closed the app again and stood up.

Should he follow back? Would Aaron like that? Would it be okay?

After all, they'd only played one game against each other and spent an afternoon together. Which wasn't even a whole afternoon. It was an hour at most.

An hour in which Kevin was more himself than he had been in the last five years. An hour in which he could talk about history without being interrupted. An hour in which he could talk about Exy without having to pay attention to what he was saying.

Kevin reached for his phone, which he had left on the bed, and opened Instagram again.

He clicked on the blue box and saw it turn white.

He saw other accounts appear that he could also follow: Andrew, Neil, Allison... The Foxes also had a team account that was suggested to him, but Kevin ignored those suggestions.

He looked at Aaron's profile, where there was absolutely nothing to see. He memorized the profile picture and then switched back to his own account.

The blue tick next to his name, the information about him as a person, the highlights, the pictures.

Suddenly he became all too aware of what he was posting.

They were hardly personal pictures that he would post if he had the freedom to do so. Instead, it was pictures from games, photo shoots or campaigns. Him in his Ravens uniform, in his underwear, with shoes or a fitness drink in his hand. His highlights consisted of game information, training pictures or pictures from the advertising shoots.

There was more information about him than about Aaron and yet his profile was just as personal as his own.

All that was known about Kevin Day was that he was one of the most successful exy players in the world in his early 20s.

Beyond that... who was Kevin Day? Who was he without Riko? Without Exy?

Chapter Text

AARON

Kevin Day is following you now

Aaron looked at his cell phone and frowned. He hadn't expected Kevin to follow him back. After all, they didn't know each other and he certainly got a lot of new followers every day. In any case, it had taken him a few days to follow him back.

"Trouble in paradise?" Nicky's voice sounded weak, as if he barely had the strength to speak.

Aaron was immediately at his bedside and sat down on the edge of the bed. "How are you?" he asked, searching the dim light for any sign that Nicky might be unwell.

Apart from the pallor and the dark circles under his eyes, he looked normal. His dark hair was sticking out in all directions and he smiled weakly. A pitiful attempt to put a good face on a bad game.

After Nicky had been brutally pushed against the wall in the last game, he had more or less just slept. He was fine after he was substituted, but as soon as they got back to the dorm room, he was asleep.

Aaron had been worried, because what was he going to do without Nicky? His mind had run through all the possible scenarios. Everything from a mild concussion to death had been there.

Nicky's eyes wandered to Aaron's cell phone, which he still had in his hands. "Did you have a fight with Katelyn?"

"What?" Aaron asked, confused. "Why would I have had a fight with Katelyn?"

"You looked like something had happened."

"You had a bad accident yesterday, Nicky."

Nicky laughed softly and grimaced a little. "That was kind of my fault. I was...angry."

Nicky hadn't been in a good mood all week. He'd been more aggressive and reckless at practices. He had been talking less and talking to Erik on the phone almost every free minute.

Erik's grandmother had died during the week and Erik had been feeling bad, and when Erik felt bad, so did Nicky.

Aaron felt bad that he was keeping Nicky from living the life he wanted. Because of him, Nicky couldn't be with the love of his life to comfort him. Because of him, Nicky couldn't be at the funeral of the woman who had helped him a little to reconcile sexuality and faith. Who had shown Nicky that it was okay to be gay and a believer. That God didn't hate you or that you wouldn't go to hell just because you loved another man.

Nicky had always talked about Oma Henrike. He had even forced Aaron to talk to her once and although Aaron hadn't understood half of it, because Oma Henrike spoke in a really heavy dialect and Aaron's German hadn't been very good at the time, he knew that this woman must have been something special.

And now she was dead.

Nicky had been out of sorts yesterday and Aaron had sensed that he had taken his anger and sadness out on the opposing team and that had ended up getting him a head injury.

"Do you want something to eat or drink?" Aaron asked.

"First I want to know why you were looking like that, Ari."

Aaron loved that nickname, but he would never admit it.

"Kevin Day follows me on Instagram."

That got him Nicky's attention. "He's hot."

"Nicky," Aaron groaned, rolling his eyes.

"What? Erik and I have this list of celebrities we're allowed to sleep with without it counting as cheating. Kevin Day is on mine. I even thought about asking him last week when we played against him, but I wouldn't go that far." A little heavily, Nicky sat up in his bed and ran a hand through his brown hair. "Why is he following you? Did you impress him that much?"

Aaron hesitated. He could tell Nicky the truth and tell him about the meeting last Saturday, or he could lie. Neither was a good idea. Aaron hated lying to Nicky, even if he had to from time to time, but Nicky loved to gossip and he would place bets in a heartbeat.

So Aaron opted for the truth, but not the whole truth: "Katelyn followed him for me and now he's followed me back."

Nicky hummed in agreement and then shrugged. "Did you write him a message?"

"Why should I?"

Nicky got out of bed and stretched once. He seemed to be feeling better by the minute, which relieved Aaron. "I don't know. It would be cool to be friends with Kevin Day."

"Can you please stop saying his whole name?"

"Do you have a problem with that, Aaron Michael Minyard?"

"Yes I do, Nicholas Esteban Hemmick."

Now Nicky grinned his familiar smile. "Where's Tweedledum?"

"Probably making out with Josten."

"WHAT?!"

"Nothing."

"Aaron Michael Minyard!"

"You sound like my mother."

"Hopefully just the good version of her."

"Was there?"

"I swear on everything I hold sacred, you're both going to kill me."

Aaron couldn't help but smile a little. It was good to be able to talk to Nicky normally again. The last week and especially the last few hours had made him crazy with worry.

Nicky and he left the bedroom and sure enough, Andrew and Neil were sitting very close to each other on the couch, but they weren't touching.

Aaron just gave them both a quick glance and went into the kitchen to get something to eat and drink. It was already super late, but he couldn't sleep either way. The worries of the last few hours and the stress of the past few years were keeping him awake.

"Andrew Joseph Minyard!" Aaron peeked around the corner to see Nicky standing in front of his brother, one hand on his hip, looking down at him. "What are my old eyes seeing? You and Neil?" Dramatic as Nicky was, he placed a hand on his chest. "I'm disappointed my dear cousin. I thought you trusted me."

Andrew rolled his eyes. "I see you're feeling better, Nicky."

"Obviously! Or is that a side effect of the concussion. Ari?" Nicky turned to him. "Do you hallucinate when you have a concussion?"

"Headache, nausea, vomiting, sensitivity to light..." Aaron rattled off.

"I get it." Nicky flopped down on the second couch.

Andrew gave Aaron a dark look, but he just shrugged his shoulders.

"Nicky's not stupid." He said in sign language.

"I wanted to talk to you about it first," Andrew replied, also in sign language.

The twins learned this together with Nicky after realizing that they both had phases where they couldn't communicate verbally. It helped extremely during these phases, but instead of just learning the necessary phrases, they learned everything.

You could say what you wanted about the cousins, but they didn't do things by halves.

Aaron remained standing in the room, undecided, and then nodded his head towards the door outside.

Neil, who had been watching silently, obviously understood what was going on. "Hey Nicky, fancy a game? I probably won't be able to sleep for the next hour anyway and Matt's got Dan in our room."

Nicky grimaced. "Understandable."

"Nothing with blatant lighting effects," Aaron warned as he put on a warmer jacket and left the room with Andrew.

They climbed the steps to the roof of the Fox Tower in silence.

Andrew lit his cigarette and sat down on the edge of the roof.

"I'm sorry, Drew," Aaron said as he sat down next to him. "I..."

"Why are you apologizing?" Andrew interrupted him.

"Because I kind of told Nicky. The one about you and Neil."

"What exactly did you say to him?"

"He asked where you were and I said you were probably making out with Josten."

Andrew remained silent for a while, puffing on his cigarette. "Nicky already knew, Ari." Hearing his nickname come out of Andrew's mouth was like a balm to his soul. "I think that's his gaydar."

Hearing that expression come out of Andrew's mouth was one of the funniest things Aaron had ever heard and Andrew had to smile too.

"I still asked Bee if we could have an appointment with her next week. I want to talk to her about it. About... Neil and me. You and me."

Aaron nodded. "Okay."

It was complicated. Andrew and Aaron had been through a lot and they were both improving and trying to break old habits. Like now, for example. Aaron tried to accept that Andrew wanted to talk to Betsy about his relationship with Neil, but Aaron wanted answers now.

Over the past few days, he had tried to observe the two of them more. He saw the little moments between them that he hadn't noticed before. How close they sat together or walked without really touching. The looks, the smiles from Neil when Andrew entered the room. Even the way they talked to each other was different. They both seemed calmer, more relaxed.

Aaron liked Neil. He barely knew him, but he seemed nice and hadn't given Aaron any reason to be suspicious of him in the past six months since he'd joined the Foxes, but Aaron knew Andrew's past.

He knew what his brother had been through.

That's why he was more cautious.

He noticed Neil more closely now. Tried to pay attention to the little things.

But Aaron still respected Andrew's wishes. Even if it was difficult for him.

"Kevin Day is now following me on Instagram."

"Congratulations?"

"Is it weird that I'm thinking about this?"

Andrew turned to him. "You'll find out for yourself, my dear brother."

"As my big brother, aren't you the one who should be supporting me in something like this?"

"Who knows if I'm older?"

Aaron gave him a look that said more than a thousand words. Then he fell silent again. "Her birthday is coming up soon," he said quietly after a few minutes.

"Would you like me to make an appointment with Betsy for that day?"

"No."

Andrew wordlessly handed him a cigarette, which Aaron lit and smoked halfway before handing it back to Andrew.

Up here on the roof, it was quiet, almost peaceful, and with Andrew by his side, Aaron wasn't afraid to fall.

Chapter Text

KEVIN

"Hey Zane." Kevin dropped down next to the Raven. "Have you seen Jean? Is he in your room?"

Zane shrugged his shoulders. "He didn't come back last night. He was supposed to see Master after dinner."

Kevin tried not to let on and nodded. "Thanks anyway."

He got up from the chair again and walked to the room Jean and Zane shared despite everything.

Ravens only ever moved in pairs, but Jean was the property of the Moriyamas and therefore also of Riko, which was why he spent most of his time with them. When he wasn't with Riko, Kevin or the master, he was with his roommate Zane.

Kevin knocked on the closed door and waited for a signal or some other response, but nothing came. The door wasn't locked, it hardly was unless someone was being held against their will, so it was easy for Kevin to just enter the room.

It was empty.

Both beds were neatly made and it looked the same as always. On Jean's wall were postcards from trips he had taken with the Ravens or from Kevin that he had brought Jean.

There was even a selfie of Riko, Kevin and him on the wall. Kevin remembered exactly when it had been taken. On Jean's birthday. As Jean had no rights, he wasn't allowed to celebrate a birthday, but when the three of them were younger, they had celebrated in secret. At some point, Riko had pulled out his phone and taken a selfie of them. A few days later, all three of them had a printed version of it.

Kevin had put his photo in a small box containing the only two pictures of him and his mother. One shortly after his birth, with Kayleigh looking disheveled but happy, and one on Kevin's 4th birthday.

Kevin had tried to reach Jean on his phone several times last night, but to no avail. He hadn't been to breakfast or the first training session either. Now it was lunchtime and the Ravens had an hour's break between training sessions and there was still no sign of Jean.

Kevin didn't give the room another minute of his attention and left it again.

The other Ravens were at lunch or using the little free time they had to take a power nap.

Kevin, however, wanted to find his friend.

He walked down the corridor and when he arrived at the washrooms, he heard laughter and a strangled scream. All the alarm bells immediately went off and he rushed into the washroom.

There was little privacy at the Ravens and so the washrooms were not separated by gender and the showers did not have their own cubicles. Since the Ravens spent so much time together, this had never been a big problem. Anything like shyness or shame was quickly discarded anyway. If you wanted to be a unit, you had to see each other naked sometimes.

But what Kevin saw now went far beyond being a team.

Three Ravens stood over a naked Jean, who lay bleeding on the ground. The water flowing away from him was stained red and tufts of black hair lay on the cold tiles.

"What the..." Kevin began, but then his eyes fell on Riko, who was standing next to the other Ravens, laughing.

His grin widened when he saw Kevin. "Kev! You were looking for our dear Jean yesterday. I found him."

Kevin looked from Riko to Jean, who wasn't moving apart from the choppy rise and fall of his chest.

"Riko, why?" he whispered, frozen.

Kevin had treated Jean countless times over the past few years and sat at his bedside while he slept. He had stolen medication to bring his fever down, because Jean was sometimes not even allowed that. But every time he found him, Kevin froze. Out of fear. Afraid that Riko would do this to him one day.

Riko shrugged her shoulders. "Jean wasn't at practice, and you know what happens to Ravens who don't show up for practice."

It sounded plausible coming from Riko. As if a spanking was exactly the right way to deal with it. But Kevin knew it was wrong. His body was frozen in shock and he could do nothing but stare at Riko.

"But..." he began, but Riko interrupted him.

"Don't worry, Zane will get his punishment too. After all, he has to make sure his partner shows up for training. Which brings me to this: afternoon training starts in ten minutes. We should get going."

The two other Ravens stepped over Jean's body and left the washroom in silence, while Riko stepped on Jean's outstretched hand. The latter doubled over in pain and made a strangled sound, which could be described as a cry of pain if his vocal cords would cooperate.

"If I find Jean in our room after training, you'll get the same treatment, Kevin," Riko whispered to him as he stepped past him into the hallway.

Then Kevin and Jean were alone.

Kevin was immediately at Jean's side and turned his body so that he could look into his battered face. His left eye was already swelling shut and his lip had burst open again. There was blood on his temple and Kevin would bet all his money (which he wasn't even allowed to manage on his own) that Jean had a head injury.

Jean opened his right eye and looked up at Kevin. "Go," he managed to get out. It was only a whisper, because his voice was useless for anything else due to the shouting.

Kevin shook his head and stroked a finger over the 3 tattooed on Jean's cheek. A daily reminder that he was property. That he had no life of his own. That even his death was determined by Riko or Tetsuji.

"I'll take you to your room."

Jean shook her head. "No! Trai...training."

"Training can wait. You can't stay here in the cold."

It wasn't much warmer in the Ravens' rooms, as there were no heaters. But it was better than lying here.

Somehow Kevin managed to lift Jean off the floor and carry him painfully to his room. Zane had already left for training and when Kevin finally laid Jean on his bed, he only had 5 minutes to get to training himself.

"You...should go..." whispered Jean weakly.

"Riko can't hurt me." A lie, they both knew that.

"No!" Jean's grip on Kevin's wrist tightened. "Go!"

"Jean..."

Jean's right eye looked at him so angrily that it sent shivers down Kevin's spine. "You're not going to risk your life because of me." A fit of coughing washed through Jean. "You're Exy's son. You're the nation's poster boy, but that doesn't mean Riko won't...hurt you."

Kevin wanted to protest again, but Jean was right. He had to train. He had to train to get better. To show everyone why he was number 2. Why he was at Riko's side.

Kevin had no choice but to leave Jean bleeding and alone.

It broke his heart, but he couldn't help it. Riko and the master would make him pay if he didn't show up for training.

So Kevin ran to training. He ran as fast as he could, but those few minutes were not enough to run through the nest, up the stairs to the stadium and change into his training clothes.

Kevin still had his jersey and sports shorts on, but he didn't have all his protective gear.

And he would pay for it.

The whole team looked at him as he appeared on the court three minutes late. When he was three minutes late putting on his gloves while running and holding his racquet and helmet at the same time.

Three minutes...

“Kevin,” Tetsuji greeted him, who, although he was the coach, was surprisingly absent from the training sessions. “What does it do us the honor of you making us happy with your presence?” His voice was cool and dripping with sarcasm.

Tetsuji Moriyama was not a man who made jokes or was funny. Tetsuji Moriyama was a man to be feared. That one should have respect for. He was a man you were never allowed to mess with.

"I'm sorry, Master. " Kevin bowed deeply to him, as he had been taught, and stood still in that position.

He heard the steps coming closer, saw the shoes coming into his field of vision. He felt the hand under his chin raising his head. He saw the dark eyes of the man who had taken him in after his mother's death. Who was supposed to be like a father to him, but had turned out to be his worst nightmare.

“You’re too late, Kevin Day. ”

"I'm sorry, Master. "

"Riko!"

"Yes, Uncle?"

Tetsuji wouldn't let go of Kevin's chin as he dragged him to the gate. “Let’s see how many goals you can score in 3 minutes. ”

Kevin looked to Riko, who briefly opened his eyes in shock and then moved into position. He picked up a ball from the basket, which was already on the line for the exercises, and threw it into the air to catch it again with his hand.

Tetsuji let go of Kevin and stepped aside. Kevin faced his fate and got ready.

He wasn't a goalkeeper, didn't have any practice in defending balls that way, but he was a damn good striker and would do his best.

“No,” Tetsuji said coolly. “Take off your protective clothing. ”

The other Ravens didn't say anything. They just stood in a line against the wall and watched silently.

Everyone knew what would happen if you were late. Everyone knew you were being punished.

But the punishments of Riko and the Master were different. Riko let someone ran an extra lap, refused to drink or eat, or verbally beat you up. Tetsuji beat you with his cane. He makes sure that you couldn't run for several days, couldn't hold a racquet. Tetsuji's punishments were much more painful than Riko´s.

Kevin forced himself to swallow to moisten his throat, which was suddenly dry. He got sick. “Master, I. . . ”

‘Four minutes. ’

Kevin closed his mouth and obeyed. He didn't have a choice. If he refused any longer, the time was only increased. Then he had to stand in that goal for five, six, seven minutes and defend Riko's balls.

The two minutes it took to remove all his protective clothing were the longest two minutes of his life. With every dull sound that his knee pads, gloves, helmet made on the floor, Kevin lost some of his heart.
Kevin lost a piece of his life, his will to fight.

When Kevin was only wearing his shoes and the dark jersey, Tetsuji meant Riko to start.

Kevin was able to defend the first ball with his racquet, as Riko did not really try to get the ball into the goal with full force. The second ball went wrong and when Kevin tried to defend the third and fourth ball, Tetsuji raised a hand and immediately both Riko and Kevin froze.

“Kevin, your racquet,” Tetsuji demanded, holding out a hand in his direction.

“How is Kevin supposed to fend off my balls without his racquet?” asked Riko, clutching his own.

“With his hands,” was Tetsuji’s dry answer.

Kevin's body barely obeyed when he walked up to Tetsuji and handed him his racquet.

“And Riko, I expect 50 goals in the remaining 3 minutes. ”

“If not, then. . . ” Tetsuji did not have to say. Riko also knew what would happen then. He would suffer the same fate as Kevin and Jean and every other Raven.

Tetsuji let him go through more because he was his nephew, but Riko also suffered from his uncle.

Unlike Kevin, Riko had never learned what a loving parent figure was. Riko had never met his biological parents. He was snatched from his mother's arms right after he was born, and his father didn't care about him. Tetsuji had raised him, but he had never bothered with his education either. Riko was passed from nanny to nanny and when Kevin moved in with him, several teachers were added. The two never had to leave the nest because they were taught from there.

Riko never learned what it means to be loved unconditionally by an adult. It wasn't until Kevin showed up that he knew what love was, and Kevin gave it to him.

He worshipped Riko.

He was the one who helped him get over his mother's death and showed him that life could go on. Riko was his brother, his best friend, until he started hurting Kevin, too. Until he began to test his power and wield it not only over Kevin, but also over Jean and the other Ravens.

But in spite of all these actions, in spite of the pain and abuse, Kevin loved him.

Even now, as Riko got into position again and Kevin raised his hands to ward off the balls, there was a small part of him hoping Riko wouldn't aim at him, that Riko would aim at one of the corners and save Kevin some pain.

But as so often, Kevin was disappointed.

As so often, Rico's own fear, the desire to be the best, to please his uncle, prevailed, and he aimed at Kevin.

Riko could have just aimed at one of the corners. He could have just scored his goals without hurting Kevin, but he didn't.

He was aiming for Kevin. On his upper body, on his head, on his legs.

The goal was flashing red again and again as Riko scored one goal after the next.

A few ravens ran back and forth to pick up the balls, so that Riko could aim again and again. Kevin tried to fend off every single ball that was fired at him. Especially the ones on his head. His hands were aching, his wrist was throbbing, and the strength in his arms waned.

The three minutes felt like an eternity. When they finally ended, it was a small miracle Kevin didn't fall to his knees.

“Good thing you’re not a goalkeeper, Kevin. You’re miserable. ” Tetsuji sounded indifferent and started training as if nothing had happened.

"What about your hands?" Jean's voice still sounded faint as Kevin lay down next to him in bed.

Zane wasn't there. He was probably partying with one of the other ravens. Every once in a while, a few team members would sneak out to party.

Kevin shook his head and buried his head in the pillow.

Jean had managed to wash himself during training and had treated some of his wounds. He looked a little better when Kevin found him, but the wounds would take a few more days to heal.

“Riko?” Jean asked.

“Among other things,” Kevin murmured, raising his head to look at Jean, who was lying next to him. “I had to play goalkeeper. ” Jean raised an eyebrow. “Without protective clothing,” Kevin added.

Jean cursed in French and Kevin just nodded. "Have you cooled your hand?"

‘No. ’

"Damn it, Kevin!"

“When should I have done that? I’ll be with you immediately after training. ”

Again Jean muttered a little in French and shook his head. “What if your hand is broken or sprained? Your life depends on your performance on the field, Kevin!”

“I know!” Kevin was getting angry. His hands and body hurt. He was tired and hungry, but his only thought had been Jean. He wanted to know how he was and if he was still alive. Apparently he did and he was doing so well that he could mock Kevin again – even if he only meant well.

Jean rolled his right eye, because the left was still swollen. “You have a chance to get out of here alive and really make something of yourself, Kev. Use it. Become the best exy player in the world. Beat Riko. Destroy Tetsuji. ”

“You know as well as I do that it’s not that easy. ”

“Just try. That’s all I expect. Get out of here alive and take my ashes back to France. ”

Kevin stared at Jean. They've had this conversation so many times before.

For Jean, Evermore and the Nest were a coffin. He died a little more every day. Soon there was nothing left of Jean Moreau. But Kevin could survive. His life had a meaning for the Moriyamas. He couldn't just die like that. Not if the Moriyamas didn't want to live with the consequences. Kevin had too many fans in the world for that.

“A Fox followed me on Instagram,” Kevin said, just to distract from the subject. He didn't want to talk to Jean about his hand, his death, or the hopelessness of her situation.

“Which one?” asked Jean, who had reclined back in his pillows and turned his head so that he could look at Kevin.

Sometimes Kevin wished he could see that glow in his eyes that normal people have. That glow that told you that the other person was still alive. That there was something else worth fighting for.

“Aaron Minyard. The Backliner. ”

‘Number 5. ’ It wasn't a question, it was a statement. Jean knew, like Kevin, the numbers, the positions, and the names of all the exys in the college league. “He was good at our game. Not as good as I was, but he could take on you a little bit. ”

“He was awesome!” said Kevin enthusiastically. “Of course, he’s small, but he’s nimble and smart. He saw my weaknesses and used them against me. He also played reasonably well with his teammates. You know what I noticed last night?” Now Kevin was in his element and wasn't waiting for a reaction from Jean. “He and Andrew, his twin brother, made a hand gesture and Andrew closed the goal. He usually plays as if he were being forced to stand on the field. He sometimes doesn’t even try, but after a hand gesture from Aaron, he played as if his life depended on it. ”

“I didn’t know the Foxes were a second Raven team,” Jean muttered to himself, so Kevin ignored the comment.

“The two together are great. And then they have Neil Josten. He could compete with Riko. ”

"And you. "

‘Yes, yes. ’ Kevin made a throwing hand gesture. He knew he was good, but he wasn't allowed to be better than Riko. “At any rate, the Foxes could get us into real trouble if they learned to work together, and I’m afraid they do. ”

“Did you follow number 5 back?”

“Aaron and yes. ”

“Riko won’t like that. ”

“So what? Am I not allowed to follow other exy players?”

Jean looked at him with that look he always got when Kevin talked nonsense.

“It’s okay,” Kevin murmured. “I. . . thought he was nice. ”

“You may have said a sentence to him and that was at the press conference,” Jean reminded him.

Kevin ran through his dark hair and twitched as he moved. His hands still hurt.

“Kevin Day!” Jean sat up in bed and stared down at Kevin, who looked at him embarrassed. “Please don’t tell me you fell in love with a Fox. That you had a thing with a Fox. Or. . . I don’t know. Do you know what Riko always says? It’s easier to be straight. It’s easier not to have a relationship at all. Remember when Riko caught us. . . ”

“Stop!” called Kevin and sat up in bed as well. “I had nothing with him and I certainly didn’t fall in love with him. ” Kevin didn't want to be in a relationship. It was nothing but trouble. “I just spent an afternoon with him. ”

It was like in an animated movie when Jean slowly fell down his chin drawer. “When was that?” he asked.

“When we played against the Foxes. Remember? Riko had kicked me out overnight because I didn’t score enough goals. I walked around a bit and met Aaron the next day. We went for coffee. ” Jean blinked slowly. “I had a muffin,” said Kevin proudly, even though he hadn’t even eaten it at all.

“Chocolate?” Jean asked, and as Kevin nodded, he closed his eyes for a moment. “I miss chocolate. ”

“I would have brought you something, but Riko. . . ”

“I know,” Jean whispered. “Tell me more about your coffee date with number 5. ”

“Aaron,” Kevin repeated. “And I don’t know what you want to hear. We talked. He told me something about the hand bones. ” He tapped his ring finger, ignoring the pain that came from it. “That’s the. . . ” he tried to remember the technical word. With Aaron, it had seemed so easy. As if the individual terms were something implanted in his head. Kevin assumed that as a medical student he had to know something like that. “I don’t know. He’s studying medicine. ” Kevin shrugged.

"Did you write to him?"

“Why should I? Didn’t you just say I shouldn’t have contact with a Fox?”

Jean shrugged his shoulders and a smile spread across his face that did not reach his eyes. “Ask him what the technical term for the ring finger is. I want to know. ”

Kevin raised both eyebrows and looked at Jean. His only real friend and then nodded. “All right. ”

Chapter Text

AARON:

Aaron stared at his phone - again. And again because of Kevin Day. That damn Kevin Day.

Aaron was sitting in the university library, as he often did, and just wanted to take a ten-minute break before he continued to study human bones. Why did humans have so many bones?

This time he was alone. Katelyn had another event, Andrew avoided the library as much as he could, which meant that either Nicky or Aaron got him books when he needed them, and Nicky was on the phone to Erik again.

He had been able to return to training this morning after Abby had given him a thorough check-up.

Aaron had sat by and watched Abby examine his cousin. He loved it and Nicky knew it and let Aaron watch every time he had any kind of medical examination.

Kevin Day, 3:23am:
Hey, this is Kevin Day. We played each other two weeks ago. I don't know if you remember me, but you explained to me what the bones of the hand are called and I tried to explain it to Jean, but I couldn't remember the technical terms. Can you tell me them again?

Kevin Day, 3:25am:
Jean is a teammate of mine, by the way. Number 3, backliner.

Kevin Day, 3:45am:
You're probably asleep. I hope you're not surprised by my message. By the way, Jean says you played well against us. I agree, but I already told you that.

Kevin Day, 4:02am:
Good night, Aaron :)

The messages were a bit older, as Aaron hardly had his cell phone in his hand on Sunday and certainly wasn't on Instagram. He had turned off the notifications for it because it had gotten on his nerves at some point and he didn't follow anyone there anyway. And the people who wanted to contact him had his number.

All except Kevin Day.

Aaron read through the messages again. It was kind of sweet that he had written so many and explained to him who Jean was.

Jean Moreau was no stranger if you knew just a little about Exy, and unfortunately for Aaron, he had to know about Exy.

Aaron Minyard, 11:12am:
Hey, here's an overview:
[photo]

Aaron had absolutely no idea why Kevin was interested and writing to him now, over a week after they met. Why he was texting him at all.

The phone display showed that Kevin had last been online 7 hours ago, so Aaron closed the app again and tried to concentrate on his study notes before heading off to his next event shortly before 12.

As is often the case, he skipped lunch.

However, he regretted this when he stood on the field a few hours later and came face to face not only with Neil, but also with Seth. He was much shorter than Seth and Neil also towered over him by several centimetres. Once again Aaron cursed his size and secretly his mother.

Tilda had never told him who his father was, but as she had always towered over Aaron and his uncles Luther and Nicky were also tall, Aaron had blamed it on his non-existent father for a long time. It was easier to blame a stranger. But then Aaron started to take an interest in medicine and did some research. He learned that drug and alcohol consumption during pregnancy could cause damage to the children. Some were then disabled and others "only" had learning difficulties. It also had an impact on the rest of a child's development. Aaron knew that he and Andrew had not suffered any cognitive impairments, because Andrew had an eidetic memory and Aaron was also very good at remembering things and had never had any difficulties at school. However, they were small.

Neil had the ball at the moment and tricked Aaron into firing the ball at goal. Andrew didn't even move a muscle as the goal lit up red. He was leaning on his racquet and watching the training session with boredom.

Aaron, however, felt like he was going to keel over at any moment. Sweat was pouring down his body and he could barely catch his breath because he didn't have the energy, but he gritted his teeth. He had experienced far worse pain.

"Are you all right?" asked Matt, who was currently on the pitch with him as a backliner. He also towered over Aaron. He felt like a small child next to him and the way Matt spoke to him reminded him of a child Aaron gave him an angry look through his helmet.

He didn't need any help. He didn't need care. No one to take care of him. He'd never needed it.

His gaze slid over Matt to Andrew, who was staring at him. Or maybe he did need help. Once in a while.

Aaron couldn't see Andrew's face through the helmet, but he could feel his gaze on him. He felt Andrew slowly raise an eyebrow and an unspoken question hung between them, but Aaron had no energy to answer him, so he turned and braced himself for another attack from Neil, who promptly attacked again.

Again the gate behind him lit up red. Again Aaron felt like he was failing. Again he heard his mother's voice. Failure.

Aaron clenched his teeth tighter and waited for the next attack. And the next one. And the next. And the next, until Wymack declared training over and dismissed the Foxes for the evening.

Neil immediately grabbed his clothes and disappeared into one of the shower cubicles to change, as he always did. The others were no longer paying any attention to him.

Matt and Seth on one side of the room and Andrew, Nicky and Aaron on the other changed in silence.

When Aaron was standing in front of his locker in just his underwear, his eyes went black for a moment and he blindly grabbed for something to hold on to.

"Aaron?" came Nicky's worried voice and a moment later Aaron felt his warm hand on his upper arm.

The grip was firm but didn't hurt and yet Aaron yanked his arm away so hard that he stumbled backwards a few steps, lost his weight and crashed hard onto the floor. The world spun and the worried voices of his teammates blurred.

"I'll get Abby." Was that Matt? Seth? Probably not Seth, he didn't give a shit about Aaron.

"Aaron, I'm going to touch you now." That was definitely Andrew's voice. "Okay?"

Aaron shook his head. No one was supposed to touch him. No one was supposed to be near him.

The world was still a jumble of colors and sounds, but somehow Aaron managed to pick himself up and run to the showers. He pushed open the first available door and closed it behind him. He fumbled blindly along the wall until he turned on the water. The freezing cold helped him to cool down a little, but he could still feel Nicky's hand on his upper arm.

Nicky... the one person Aaron had never been afraid of. Who had sacrificed everything for him and he still reacted like this.

Aaron crouched down on the floor and pulled his legs to his body. He was still wearing nothing but his underpants and the cold water continued to pelt him.

His thoughts were loud, almost screaming at him. His mother's voice was the loudest, as always, but Andrews, Neils, Wymacks joined in. They all shouted at him. Called him a loser, a no-good, filth.

He took someone else's place on the team. Took away someone else's opportunity to study. Someone who deserved it more. Someone who had his life under control. Someone who wasn't a wreck. Someone who was worth loving.

Aaron's breath quickened and he clawed at his own skin, trying to calm his heartbeat. To concentrate on the cold and the solid ground.

Only distantly did Aaron realize that the door to the showers was opening. "Aaron, sweetheart," Abby's voice rang out. Her footsteps were soft on the tiles and she knocked on the closed door. "May I come in?"

Aaron shook his head, but Abby couldn't see that. He opened his mouth, but no sound came out.

"Knock on the door once if you're okay, Aaron," came Abby's voice a few seconds later. Aaron couldn't remove his hands from his legs, but he could move his legs, so he knocked once on the door. "Good, I've got your clothes and a towel here. I'll leave that outside the door. Come out whenever you're ready. David and I will stay at the stadium for a while and do some paperwork. The others have already left for the Fox Tower. I'll leave the door to the changing room open, though, so I can hear you if anything happens. Is that all right?"

Again Aaron kicked his leg against the showerstall wall and heard Abby get up and leave the room.

Aaron had no idea how long he sat on the floor. How long the ice-cold water splashed over him.

At some point he slipped away from the jet of water so as not to become completely hypothermic and when he felt that he could stand again, he slowly picked himself up.

His legs were numb and wobbly and he had to lean on the wall to keep from toppling over.

With trembling fingers, Aaron finally opened the door and saw, as promised, towels and his clothes and shampoo lying on the floor. The good thing about these shower cubicles, apart from the privacy, was the fact that no water ran outside and the cubicles were so big that Aaron could store his clothes inside the cubicle without them getting wet.

Aaron took everything inside and turned the water on again. A little warmer this time.

He barely had the strength to take a shower, but somehow he managed it and somehow Aaron also managed to dry off and get dressed. He didn't know how. His whole body ached and he had the feeling that he was no longer the master of his limbs. They were there, he could feel the pain emanating from them, but he had the feeling that he couldn't move them. Everything was automated.

Aaron dragged himself out of the changing room and into the foyer. The door to Wymack's office was open, so Aaron saw his silent command to enter.

Silently, he sat down on the chair in front of his desk, which was littered with notes. Wymack placed a box of food in front of him, which Aaron ignored, even though his stomach growled and begged for food. He wasn't going to get anything down either way.

Wymack took his own box of food and began to eat, though Aaron continued to stare at the box.

"It won't poison you," Coach Wymack finally said.

Reluctantly, Aaron took the food and began to shove a bite into his mouth. It tasted like nothing. Bland. Lifeless. Just the way he felt. Still, Aaron forced himself to swallow and take another bite.

The hole in his stomach was slowly being plugged by the bland food, but Aaron didn't feel any better.

The thoughts in his head were still far too loud and everything felt unreal.

He also had no sense of time and didn't know what time it was, but judging by the darkness outside, it was late.

Aaron somehow expected Wymack to lecture him. He was told that such behavior was not acceptable, that he needed to eat and drink more, and that he was banned from games for the time being. That his training would be doubled or canceled altogether. He was kicked off the team. Lost his place at university. His home. That Aaron would be forced to live on the streets or move in with Uncle Luther, if he took him in at all, and after what he'd done to Nicky, Aaron didn't want to set foot in his house. Aaron would be forced to take a job at a fast food restaurant or find other work - work that didn't fulfill him. Work that wouldn't help children. Children like him. Aaron would become unhappy, even more so than he already was. He would become even more depressed. Fall off the wagon. Sell his body or steal to get drugs. He would...

"Aaron, sweetheart." Abby's voice snapped him out of his thoughts. "I've got something here for you." Abby settled into the other vacant chair and handed Aaron a piece of paper, smiling, while Wymack ate his food in silence.

Aaron reluctantly accepted the paper. Was this his expulsion? Would he be kicked out by a letter? Would his place be given to someone else? Would that someone become friends with Andrew? Would Andrew like him better? Would Andrew like Neil better than him?

Aaron raised an eyebrow when he realized that the picture was just an x-ray.

"What do you see?" Abby wanted to know.

Aaron opened his mouth, but no sound came out. It was frustrating. The fracture was clearly visible. There was hardly a more obvious fracture. It was stupid that he couldn't speak.

Wymack silently handed him a pad with a pen. Aaron scribbled his answer on it and showed it to Abby, who nodded in satisfaction.

"Very nice. Even with technical terms," she praised him, taking the sheet from him again and handing him a second one.

This time it wasn't so clear, but Aaron's head slowly cleared. He studied the x-ray very carefully and then wrote down his answer, almost as if in a frenzy. It was a complicated case, but the complications could still be recognized with a trained eye.

Abby read through everything this time too and then nodded approvingly. "Very good, Aaron."

The praise felt good. It made the dark thoughts recede a little. Abby had that effect on him somehow. She praised him and if he ever made a mistake, she corrected him kindly. Abby never shouted at him or looked at him disapprovingly. She had never raised a hand to him.

Abby was what Tilda should have been.

"I'll drive you home," Wymack offered, and Aaron was glad he didn't have to walk all the way back to the Dorms.

He probably would have texted Andrew, but he didn't want to bother him. What if he'd spent time with Neil? What if he hadn't wanted to get him at all? Aaron was a burden as it was.

"Aaron!" Wymack's voice was firm but friendly and just what Aaron needed to snap out of his thoughts.

Blinking, Aaron came back to reality and nodded. Wymack took that as an answer and rose from his chair. Together with Abby, they left the stadium and while Abby went to her own car, Aaron got in with Wymack.

The drive was silent and even when Wymack let him out in front of the Fox Tower, he only wished him a good night. Wymack would probably never expect an answer, but Aaron still felt bad. He still couldn't speak and he just felt drained and tired.

In his dorm room, the TV and the light were on. Andrew was sitting on the windowsill smoking, as he often did, while Nicky watched a movie. As soon as Nicky spotted him, however, he pressed pause.

"We left you some leftovers from dinner." He gestured somewhat helplessly towards the kitchen, but Aaron just shook his head. He had barely managed to finish Wymack's food, so he wasn't going to be able to finish it now. "Is everything all right?" Nicky asked.

Aaron opened his mouth as if he could magically speak. Why did he keep trying? Eventually he shook his head, but before Nicky could say anything, he said in sign language that he was going to bed.

On the way to the bedroom, he felt Andrew's eyes on him, but he couldn't look at his brother.

Aaron tossed and turned in bed and even after Nicky and Andrew had gone to bed themselves, there was little thought of sleep.

At some point, Aaron gave up and took his phone out of his sports bag, which he hadn't touched since the morning. He opened Instagram and found a new message from Kevin.

Kevin Day, 2:32am:
Thanks! Sorry I'm only getting back to you now. Training.

The green dot next to his name indicated that Kevin was still online.

Aaron Minyard, 2:45am:
It's the middle of the night

Kevin Day, 2:45am:
What are you doing up?

Aaron Minyard, 2:46am:
Why are you awake?

Kevin Day, 2:27am:
You can't answer a question with a counter question. Especially not when it's the same question.

Aaron Minyard, 2:28am:
I can't sleep

Aaron stared at his cell phone. He was somehow more open than he thought and somehow it was easy for him to text Kevin, even though he was having trouble communicating today.

Kevin Day, 2:29am:
I had practice until 2:30am

Aaron Minyard, 2:31am:
You had practice until the middle of the night?!

Chapter Text

KEVIN:

Aaron Minyard, 2:31am:
You had training until the middle of the night?!

Kevin bit the inside of his cheek until it bled. He was only peripherally aware of the pain. His eyes were fixed on his phone and the last message Aaron had sent him. Kevin had forwarded the picture Aaron had sent him to Jean, even though he probably didn't even really care, but it felt wrong not to. Aaron had gone to the trouble of finding the picture for him.

When you grew up in the nest, sometimes you forgot how the real world worked. You forgot that normal people didn't train until half past two in the morning. That normal people didn't work 16-hour days. That normal people knew who they were outside of their job.

Kevin typed a reply and then deleted it to type a new one.

Kevin Day, 2:40am:
Yes. Why can't you sleep?

It was the safest answer. He didn't know how to explain the Ravens' practice schedule.

"You can go to the bathroom," Riko's voice rang out, coming from the shared bathroom. His hair was still damp from the shower, as was Kevin's.

The advantage of being number 1 and 2 was definitely having your own bathroom. It was small and Kevin and Riko only used it to brush their teeth and go to the toilet, as most of the time they showered in the designated showers straight after training, but it did have its advantages.

The three dots indicating that Aaron was still typing his answer were still visible, so Kevin rose from his bed and went into the bathroom to brush his teeth for the night. His whole body ached, but it was a good ache apart from the pain in his hands. Practice today had been hard, as Kevin could barely hold his racquet without grimacing in pain, but other than that nothing had happened. His performance had still been good and Riko hadn't punished him, which was a plus.

Kevin hated and loved his tattoo. It was a part of him, but he hadn't chosen it by choice. Perhaps a small, naïve part of him. The part that wanted approval so badly. The part that wanted to please Riko and was afraid of Tetsuji's anger. The part that was already too broken to fight back, that had wanted a family so badly and Riko had given it to him. Riko and Jean.

Kevin remembered the secret meetings with Jean when Riko was asleep or otherwise occupied. He remembered broken French and Jean's laughter when he mispronounced a word. He remembered his own when he taught Jean English. He remembered his hand, Riko's, when they got their tattoos. When Jean was forced to get the three tattoos. Kevin remembered caves made of blankets, of whispered promises that they would stay together. That they were a family. That those numbers on their faces were the sign that they were a unit.

The Perfect Court became a promise, a refuge and then their undoing. It became their death and their only chance to survive.

While Kevin brushed his teeth, he looked at himself in the mirror. The dark hair and green eyes, which looked more brown than green in the bathroom light, were nothing new. Neither were the dark shadows under his eyes. Kevin was used to getting little sleep, but that didn't mean he was spared dark circles.

The 2 tattooed on his cheek stood out against his pale skin. Kevin couldn't take his eyes off it, even when he had long since finished brushing his teeth.

He could still remember the day when Riko had drawn the 2 on his face for the first time with a black sharpie. It had started as fun and turned into so much more.

Tetsuji had only taken one look at the numbers and the Perfect Court was born.

From that day on, Riko and Kevin were marketed as number 1 and number 2. Riko was the king and Kevin his prince. Kevin had already been lower than Riko before, but with the numbers on his face it was even clearer. It was Kevin's death sentence, but also his chance to live. As long as he performed at his best, was the best, but never better than Riko, he would live. If he crossed that line, he would die.

Not only for Jean and Kevin, but also for Riko. As long as they were the Perfect Court, they could live. They could continue to play Exy. They could stay together.

Kevin brushed a finger over the black ink on his skin and left the bathroom. Riko was already lying in his bed, typing away on his phone.

When Kevin came back into the room, he only looked up briefly. "If Jean doesn't show up for training tomorrow, Uncle will pay him a visit. Just a warning." Sometimes Riko had his moments when Kevin thought that he was worried about the two of them. That things could go back to the way they used to be, but the truth was that they never would.

Kevin changed into his pajamas and went to bed as well, reaching for his phone to read Aaron's reply.

Aaron Minyard, 2:42am:
It's been a long day

Kevin Day, 2:58am:
Tell me about it

Kevin no longer expected a reply, but as soon as he had sent the message, the online symbol appeared again.

Aaron Minyard, 2:59am:
No

Kevin Day, 3:00am:
Then I'll tell you about my day

Kevin had sent the message and was now feverishly thinking about what he could write. Basically, he had just been working out and had been at university this morning for a lecture.

Kevin Day, 3:01am:
I had Training

Aaron Miynard, 3:01am:
Exciting...

Kevin Day, 3:02am:
Did you know the ancient Romans had special coins for prostitutes?

Aaron Minyard, 3:03am:
No, but that's also very random right now, Kevin

Kevin smiled as he read his name.

Kevin Day, 3:04am:
I know. I'm currently reading a book about the Roman Empire and that was mentioned.

Kevin Day, 3:06am:
I told you I was a History major, didn't I?

Aaron Minyard, 3:08am:
You had. I just googled that. Apparently they weren't allowed to use certain coins because they had the emperor on them

Kevin Day, 3:09am:
Exactly! They probably had some coins with sexual acts on them.

"Turn off the light, I want to sleep." Riko had put his cell phone away and turned his back to Kevin. The clear sign that he wanted to sleep and Kevin should also take advantage of the 4 hours of sleep they were given every night.

Kevin Day, 3:10am:
Riko wants to sleep. Good night, Aaron

Aaron Minyard, 3:11am:
Good night

Kevin's fingers hovered over the keyboard for a moment. He wanted to write something, one last message, but he didn't know what. He didn't know Aaron. What would they talk about? So Kevin put the cell phone away, turned off the light and forced himself to sleep.

"Are you sure you want to train with us?" Kevin looked at Jean, who was changing his clothes in great pain.
"Don't be an idiot, Kevin."
"Jean..."
"Stop!"

Kevin closed his mouth and watched Jean pull his shirt over his head with great difficulty and put on his protective clothing. His fingers could barely hold the racquet, but Jean had a determined look on his face. He wasn't going to let Kevin help him. Not when the number on his cheek kept reminding him that he was part of the Perfect Court. That he already had a place on the world's best Exy team.

A place that was the envy of so many other Ravens.

Kevin saw the looks on the other backliners' faces. He knew the story. He'd heard the pleas and the cries those nights. He had sat by Jean's bed and prayed that he would wake up.

The first training session was uneventful, except for the fact that Riko was playing against Jean. Riko showed no mercy and made some moves that were dangerous and bordered between legal and illegal. Some were simply aimed at doing as much damage as possible without getting a card or even getting kicked off the court.

Kevin focused on his backliner, Grayson, but it wasn't so easy when he kept seeing Jean and Riko out of the corner of his eye.

Grayson was a good backliner, but nowhere near as good as Jean or Aaron...

Kevin paused in his movement and was brutally pushed away by Grayson. He could feel the Master's gaze on him, but he tried not to let it show.

"What was that?" Riko wanted to know, coming the few meters over to him. "You'd better concentrate, Kevin."

Kevin nodded. What else was he supposed to do? Why did he have to think about Aaron? He shouldn't be thinking about anything other than training and how he could get better.

Still, Kevin caught himself opening Instagram at lunch and was disappointed to find no new messages from Aaron.

His direct messages were overflowing with messages from fans and haters alike, but Kevin mostly ignored them. He didn't have the time or patience to reply to everyone. He already tried enough with the comments. Besides, it was usually a sign for fans to harass him even more and nothing good ever came out of the haters anyway.

Jean collapsed during the second training session of the day.

Blood dripped from a wound on his forehead onto the floor as he tried to get to his feet. Riko gave him a hand, but held it in such a way that Jean had to go on his knees, which was too much for him.

Tetsuji gave him two minutes to get to his feet on his own and then took long strides across the court to his nephew and Jean.

Kevin stood at a distance and lowered his eyes. He knew what was coming next. He knew there was nothing he could do. If he interfered, he would be punished too. Tetsuji would raise his cane and bring it down not only on Jean's back, but also on Kevin's back. He would make sure that neither of them could get up again. That they both had to lie there until they found the strength to get up on their own. Riko wouldn't help them and neither would any other Raven.

No one.

So at least Kevin could help Jean. At least that's what Kevin told himself to ease his guilty conscience.

There was nothing he could do about it as the cane flew through the air. He couldn't block out the sounds that Jean made or that the cane made when it hit Jean's body with full force. He couldn't block out the smell that was so familiar. When sweat mixed with blood. He could do nothing as Tetsuji left the court again and the training continued. He could do nothing as Jean lay motionless.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," Kevin whispered again and again in French. "Forgive me. Please. Please..."

"Stop...talking...your pronunciation is...horrible."

Kevin wanted to cry when Jean opened his eyes again a few hours later and got upset about Kevin's pronunciation. It had been like this for several years. Kevin had somehow made sure that Jean survived and Jean had taught him French.

One last thread that tied him to his past and his old life. Jean's way of rebelling a little against Riko nonetheless.

"Don't you have to be at training?"
"Practice is over for today," Kevin whispered. He didn't know why. Zane wasn't there. There was no reason.

Jean closed his eyes again and a few moments later he was asleep. Kevin sighed and lay down next to him in bed.

Sleep was out of the question. Riko had kicked him out of the room they shared. Not because Kevin had done anything wrong, at least he wasn't aware of any mistakes, but because Riko was fucking Cassidy.

Kevin could only hope for the girl's sake that she was having fun, but he wasn't sure about Riko.

Since Jean was asleep and Kevin didn't have his laptop with him, he had nothing to do but watch Jean sleep. He looked so peaceful, as if he wasn't in pain, but Kevin knew he must be. The bruises would be visible for a few days and the rest of the wounds would take a while to heal, but the emotional wounds would probably never heal.

Kevin Day, 2:45am:
You said you want to be a doctor so you can help children. What about adults? Do you want to help them?

Kevin hadn't even noticed when he pulled out his cell phone and texted Aaron.

Aaron Minyard, 2:46am:
I'm being trained for this

Kevin Day, 2:46am:
I get it, but why kids?

Aaron Minyard, 2:47am:
Because somebody has to take care of them

Kevin Day, 2:48am:
And who takes care of adults? The ones who have no one? The ones who can't survive on their own?

Aaron Minyard, 2:50am:
That's what doctors are for, Kevin. We take care of all people. No matter what age, background, religion or sexuality. The American healthcare system is not designed to help everyone, but we would help everyone. No matter how much money is involved. No one has to suffer or be in pain and if there is nothing more that can be done, then we try to make the last hours as comfortable as possible

Aaron Minyard, 2:51am:
But I feel like this isn't about how the healthcare system works and what my job as a doctor is going to be, right?

Kevin Day, 2:52am:
It's okay. Sorry to bother you so late. Good night

Aaron Minyard, 2:53am:
Something's wrong and if I was already asleep or didn't feel like talking to you, I never would have answered you. So, what happened?

Kevin Day, 2:54am:
I don't know you

Aaron Minyard, 2:54am:
So?

Kevin Day, 2:56am:
It's not your job to help me. I can do this on my own

Aaron Minyard, 2:57am:
You sound like my cousin. He always says he doesn't need anyone to help him. Okay, fair: Andrew and I aren't easy and he's been through so much shit, but everyone needs someone once in a while. We all do. And sometimes it's easier to talk to a stranger than someone you see every day

Aaron Minyard, 3:00am:
Talk to me, Kevin Day

Kevin Day, 3:01am:
Don't call me that

Aaron Minyard, 3:01am:
Talk to me Kevin

It was late, after 3am. Kevin should be asleep. He should lie in Zane's bed and hope he didn't come back so he could get some sleep. He was supposed to keep an eye on Jean and make sure he was still breathing, but he couldn't. He didn't want to. He didn't want to.

Kevin was tired. Not because of the lack of sleep, but because life was draining him. Because life was so damn exhausting.

Where was the Kevin from before? The one who ran enthusiastically onto the exy pitch? The one who had spent hours quizzing his mother about Exy? The one who raced Riko to see who was faster. Who simply had fun in life. Where was the Kevin who could laugh? Who cried when he fell down? Who dreamed of good things at night instead of a raised racquet or a cruel face he once loved?

Kevin wanted to go back there.

His eyes fell on the sleeping Jean. He wanted to fight. If not for him, then for Jean. For the boy who stood behind him unconditionally. Who had thrown himself between him and Riko more than once and whom Kevin couldn't save - not yet.

Kevin Day, 3:05am:
I'm scared for Jean. The Ravens are going to kill him one day. Riko is going to kill him one day. I don't know how to explain it, so I just need you to promise not to tell anyone. And you have to promise to take care of Jean when I get him out of here.

Aaron Minyard, 3:06am:
What's happening with the Ravens?

Kevin Day, 3:07am:
Promise me you'll take care of Jean

Aaron Minyard, 3:07am:
I promise

Kevin Day, 3:08am:
Thank you

Aaron Minyard, 3:09am:
Do you want me to call the police? Are you safe?

Kevin Day, 3:10am:
I am and no, no police.

Kevin Day, 3:11am:
I'm lying next to Jean right now. I'm afraid he'll stop breathing if I don't look at him. Is that normal?

Aaron Minyard, 3:12am:
What's wrong with Jean?

Kevin Day, 3:13am:
I don't know, but I'm guessing a concussion and some bruising

Aaron Minyard, 3:14am:
It's good that he's sleeping. His body needs the rest. If he's dizzy or throwing up you should go to the hospital

Kevin Day, 3:15am:
Okay

Aaron Minyard, 3:16am:
Here's my phone number. Call me if you need anything

Kevin Day, 3:17am:
Aaron?

Aaron Minyard, 3:18am:
Yes?

Kevin Day, 3:18am:
Please don't go

Aaron Minayrd, 3:19am:
I won't

Chapter Text

AARON:

It was 4 o'clock in the morning when Aaron finally fell asleep. He dreamed of ravens chasing him, pecking at him with sharp beaks and trying to peck his eyes out.

And in the midst of this storm, Aaron saw a pair of forest green eyes.

The next morning, Aaron felt as if a bus had run over him. Everything hurt and he felt like someone had replaced his brain with cotton candy. He had felt like this since his panic attack two days earlier. He was just functioning. Ate the food Nicky put out for him, went to training and his lectures, but beyond that Aaron hardly did anything. He didn't go to the library to study and ignored the messages from Katelyn.

But he had answered Kevin's last night.

He had even stayed on his phone talking to Kevin about everything and nothing until Kevin had assured him that he was really going to sleep.

Aaron could hear Andrew slowly waking up below him and Nicky was also starting to wake up from his sleep. Nicky was not a morning person and therefore always took a little longer, which is why Andrew and Aaron had developed their own morning routine.

Andrew got up a minute later and shuffled into the bathroom, which was Aaron's signal to get up and make the coffee too, but just like yesterday morning, Aaron couldn't find the energy. A few minutes later Andrew returned to the room and shook Nicky by the shoulder to wake him up and then rattled the bunk bed.

Sighing, Aaron struggled out of his warm blanket. There was no point. He had to work. He had to perform. On the other hand... He didn't want to finish that thought. He didn't want to give this thought any power over him.

Despite everything, he found it difficult to climb down the ladder, grab his clothes and disappear into the bathroom. They didn't have morning practice today, as most of the Foxes had early classes.

Aaron stopped outside the bathroom door and took a deep breath to collect himself. He understood why Andrew had locked him in, but he would probably never forgive him. That was one of the things they were working on with Betsy.

Aaron hurried to the bathroom, never closing the door, and barely made it to the kitchen a few minutes later, where Andrew had already put the coffee on and set out a bowl of cereal for him.

"Remember that today is the meeting with Bee," he reminded him. Aaron just nodded and pulled the bowl closer to him. He had no appetite, but he had to eat. "I asked her to talk to you next week, too."

Aaron lifted his eyes from his bowl and looked at Andrew questioningly. He hadn't been able to speak yesterday either and now he didn't dare try again.

But Andrew understood him without words. "It's Tilda's birthday next week."

The spoon fell back into the bowl and milk splashed up.

At that moment, Nicky decided to come into the kitchen. "Morning," he mumbled, rubbing his eyes sleepily, but Andrew ignored his cousin.

"After what happened a few days ago, I don't want you to be alone that day, Ari."

Nicky, who was about to grab a cup of coffee, paused in his movement and turned to Aaron. "What happened?" he asked in alarm. "Do I have to kill someone?"

That at least elicited a brief grin from Aaron and he shook his head, but that didn't reassure Nicky or Andrew, who were both looking at him.

So Aaron cleared his throat and listened to himself to see if he could speak today. "I don't need any help," he said quietly.

"You had a panic attack, Aaron. For no reason." Andrew didn't seem relieved that Aaron had the strength to speak again.

"Oh Ari..." Nicky sat down right next to Aaron and was about to reach for his hands, but stopped and merely placed his hands near Aaron.

It hurt Aaron to be that. A few days ago, Nicky would have naturally reached for Aaron's hands and held them. He would have taken Aaron in his arms and held him close. He would have whispered in his ear how important he was to him, how much Nicky loved him and how proud he was of him. Nicky wouldn't have hesitated to touch him.

Nicky looked at Andrew and what was going on between them at that moment didn't make Nicky feel any happier. "Trust Andrew. Your panic attack was really... not without it," he tried gently. "You haven't spoken to Betsy since. It'll do you good."

Andrew finally sat down at the table and began to eat his own breakfast. "The appointment isn't just because of Aaron's panic attack, but because it's Tilda's birthday." He didn't add that Aaron is always out of sorts on this day. That he's good for nothing that day.

Nicky's gaze immediately shot to the calendar hanging on the wall and his eyes widened. "Shit," he muttered. "I totally forgot about that."

"I'm fine," Aaron assured him, and as if to prove it to them both, he shoved a spoonful of cereal into his mouth. It was so soggy by now that it didn't taste good, but he forced himself to swallow the soggy mass and take another spoonful.

Nicky and Andrew gave him a look that could mean anything and nothing, and what they saw in Aaron's eyes seemed to be enough to drop the subject - for now.

Nicky started talking about his day to dispel the awkward silence. You could say what you wanted about him, but he was damn good at ignoring problems and making the silence more comfortable, even if it was just talking about gossip.

Half an hour later, the three of them left for their lectures. Neil came to pick Andrew up from their room and the two of them walked so close to each other without actually touching.

Aaron hardly noticed anything during the lecture and when it was finally time to go to training, he was so exhausted that he wanted to sleep all day.

Kevin had not responded to the message he had sent him in the morning.

Aaron had forgotten that he and Andrew had an appointment with Betsy and was reminded when neither Neil nor Nicky were at the car.

Aaron would have liked to run away, but he got into the car and let Andrew drive him to Bee.

As always, she was very calm and greeted the twins and offered them something to drink. Andrew took a cocoa, while Aaron stuck to water. He had no idea what to expect from this session.

"How are you guys doing today?" Bee wanted to know to start things off.

"Good," was Andrew's reply.
"Yeah," Aaron agreed with his brother.
"Don't lie."
"I'm not."
"Aaron had a mental breakdown two days ago."
"I thought we were here to talk about you and Josten."

Aaron really didn't have the nerve to talk to Andrew and Bee about his breakdown. He didn't understand it himself.

Betsy looked back and forth at the two of them and then leaned forward a little to get their attention. "How about we talk about your relationship with Neil today, Andrew and I talk to Aaron alone about the breakdown?"

Andrew clenched his jaw so tightly that Aaron thought he was going to grit his teeth at any moment. "Agreed," he finally said.

"So..." Betsy leaned back in her chair again. "How do you feel about Andrew having a boyfriend now?"

Andrew didn't correct Betsy that Neil wasn't his boyfriend, which Aaron took as a small step forward.

"I think if Andrew had told me that a year ago, I would have been angry," Aaron replied cautiously. "I think I would have perceived Neil as a...danger. I would have hated him on principle."

"And today?"

Aaron looked from Betsy to his brother. Into the amber eyes. Into the face that was and somehow wasn't his.

"I'm afraid Neil will be like...you know..." He pressed his lips together and lowered his gaze.
"Drake?" Andrew helped him out. "All the others?"
Aaron nodded. "I don't want you to get hurt, Drew."

Andrew thought about that sentence. For a long time. Aaron eventually got nervous and dared to look at his brother's face again. Bee sat in her chair and let the twins handle the conversation on their own.

"Neil's not going to hurt me. Not in that way. He... Neil's been through some big shit himself or he wouldn't be a Fox. He'd never touch me like that, Aaron."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Yes!" came the immediate reply. "Neil always asks me before he touches me. He always waits until I give him a verbal answer."

"And on days when you can't speak?"

On days like Aaron had just recently. Days when Andrew was unable to speak, to express himself verbally. On days when Andrew was even more vulnerable than usual.

"I don't think he'd even try anything then." Andrew's last non-verbal phase was a while ago, when Neil wasn't yet part of the Foxes.

"How can you be sure?" Aaron's brain started imagining the worst-case scenarios again. Andrew lying under Neil, unable to defend himself, naked, helpless because he can't speak. Because he thinks Neil loves him. Because he thinks Neil is different. "How can you be sure Neil isn't like Drake?"

Andrew was very still. Not a muscle moved. "Because I trust him."

"Did you trust Drake too? Or all the others? You were a fucking kid when it first happened!" Aaron's voice was getting louder.

He'd barely thought about it in the past few days, but now that he was forced to think about Andrew's life, he fell into a downward spiral. His body was electrified and he didn't know what to do with himself. It had taken Andrew and him a long time to get to where they were. The place where they could trust each other and count on each other. Where they could talk about their feelings and problems. It had taken half an eternity. It had taken Andrew a long time to talk about Drake. It had taken Aaron a long time to talk about Tilda.

Neither of them wanted to destroy this achievement and so it was always a dance on a tightrope over a volcano. Every sentence, every word could decide whether they slipped and burned.

"Neil is different."
"How do you know that?"
"I just know."
"Andrew..."
"Trust me, Ari."

The please hung unspoken in the air, but Aaron could literally hear it. He knew it was one of Andrew's trigger words and he tried to avoid it.

Aaron looked into his brother's eyes, searching for a lie. For a clue that Andrew wasn't sure. That Neil was in danger.

"All right," Aaron finally said. "But if I get even the slightest hint of doubt or realize that Neil is hurting you, touching you when you don't want it or otherwise hurting you, I will kill him. And it won't be a quick, painless death. It's going to be a long, painful and brutal death."

Andrew held his eye contact and one corner of his mouth lifted just a tiny millimeter, but Aaron saw it. He got it, because Andrew had been the center of his world for years. He had watched him for hours, trying to learn what made him tick. Aaron would still see that tiny lift many meters away.

"I didn't expect anything else," Andrew replied and turned back to Betsy, who just looked at them both proudly.

"Great, guys!" she praised. "We still have some time, so I'd like to ask if we could talk about your panic attack for a moment, Aaron. Andrew would leave the room for that, of course."

Aaron shook his head. "There's not much to tell. I hadn't eaten enough, I blacked out for a moment and Nicky's touch triggered me." Aaron shrugged his shoulders as if it was nothing earth-shattering.

"And that's what we should talk about." Betsy glanced at Andrew, who stood up to leave the room, but Aaron grabbed the hem of his shirt and gave it a gentle tug - a sign that he should stay. Andrew immediately dropped back onto the couch, a little closer than before. "Why did Nicky's touch trigger you?"

Aaron shrugged his shoulders again. He hadn't talked to Betsy about the fact that he sometimes hated being touched. That he sometimes hated being touched by others. That he sometimes scrubbed his skin raw to wash away the feeling of physical contact. He hadn't told Betsy about the fact that he sometimes set the water in the shower far too hot or far too cold to hurt himself.

Betsy knew about his non-verbal phases and that he was a former drug addict. That was no secret, because that was what qualified him to be a Fox. She also knew that Tilda had been a terrible mother. That she had died in a car accident that Andrew had caused. She knew about Aaron's fear of being locked in the bathroom again, but she didn't know everything.

Some things were better left buried forever.

"I was just having a bad day and I think my mom's birthday is throwing me off a bit. It was just a stupid situation. I'm not scared of Nicky." The last sentence was particularly important to him. Nicky wasn't to blame.

Betsy looked like she wanted to say something else, but she finally just nodded. "Okay. I'll see you guys next week. Have a good day." With those words, she dismissed them.

Andrew remained silent until they were back in the car and on their way to training. "I want you to really talk to Bee about Tilda next week, Ari," he said as he parked and turned off the engine.

"That's the reason you made me the appointment."
"Promise me, Ari."
"I promise you, Drew."

Andrew nodded and got out of the car. Aaron followed him, checking his phone as he walked.

Kevin Day, 3:56pm:
Why do nerves send pain signals to the brain? I could happily do without it

Aaron Minyard, 4:23pm:
To keep you alive

Kevin Day, 4:24pm:
I could really do without it. How is your day?

Aaron Minyard, 4:25pm:
Andrew dragged me to his therapist so we can talk about his new boyfriend. Getting ready for training now. And yours?

Kevin Day, 4:27pm:
Just got a half hour break. No idea if I'll ever get off this bench again. Everything hurts

Kevin Day, 4:28pm:
Don't you like your brother's boyfriend?

"Coach will make you a head shorter if you don't change your clothes." Andrew pulled his shirt over his head.
"Since when do you feel so much like working out?" Aaron asked, lowering his phone. He sat on the bench in the locker room and watched Andrew change.
"Who are you texting with?" Andrew asked instead of giving him an answer.
"Kevin."
"Day?" Aaron nodded.
Andrew gave him a look and frowned briefly. "I'll tell Coach you're still in the restroom." With those words, Andrew grabbed his helmet and left the locker room.

Aaron Minyard, 4:32pm:
I firmly believe you can get back up. After all, you are THE Kevin Day. The Exystar. Isn't it in your DNA to play Exy all day? I like him, I think, but Andrew's been through some things and I just want to protect him

Kevin Day, 4:33pm:
Understandable. I would probably do the same for Jean. And no, my DNA is made up of the same things as yours. I'm only human

Aaron Minyard, 4:35pm:
I have to go to practice. I can't hide in this locker room forever. Have fun at practice, Kevin, and don't overwork yourself. You may be the future of Exy, but like you said, you're only human and as such it's normal to be in pain from time to time

Kevin Day, 4:36pm:
You are so wise, Aaron Minyard

Aaron Minyard, 4:37pm:
All part of my DNA

Aaron stopped waiting for a response, stashed his phone in his locker and headed to practice.

A gentle smile on his face.

Chapter Text

KEVIN:

The next few days are tough. Kevin pushes himself to his limits and beyond. The pain in his hand gets worse from training session to training session, but going to the team doctor with it is out of the question.

Never.

He would rather chop his hand off before admitting to having pain. It will go away eventually.

Jean is also slow to get on his feet, but he still drags himself to every training session and lecture.

Tetsuji eventually allowed the Ravens to go back to university, which pleases Kevin in particular. He has missed listening to his lecturers' lectures, taking notes and, above all, learning something new. Kevin writes to Aaron about all his latest findings, which the other doesn't seem to mind. In fact, one day Aaron has already asked what Kevin has learned this time when Kevin had forgotten.

Talking to Aaron, even if it's just writing, feels good. Kevin enjoys it and eagerly awaits every free minute he has on his cell phone to see if Aaron has answered him, which he has done in most cases, because Aaron's daily schedule gives him much more leeway to answer his phone than Kevin's does.

When he's not in training or doing the few tasks for his course, Riko is by his side, registering Kevin's every move.

Normally Kevin sits on the team bus with Jean, because Riko uses the journey to the games to sleep or take a closer look at the opponents, but today he pulls Kevin by the arm to the empty seat next to him. Kevin silently settles down in the empty seat and gives Jean an apologetic look, who presses his lips together imperceptibly and sits down in the row of seats behind them.

"We have to win this game today."
"I know, Riko."

They have to win every game. Their lives depend on it.

Riko eyed Kevin from the side. "Something's going on."
"What?" Kevin had the feeling he'd been caught doing something, but before Riko could answer, the bus engine started and they set off on their journey.

Riko remained silent for a whole five minutes until he turned to Kevin as best he could on the seats. "Something's going on," he repeated what he had just said.

Kevin just shrugged his shoulders. He had to remind himself that Riko wasn't asking because he was really worried or cared about how Kevin was doing. For Riko, it was all about the performance.

"You know we have a goal, right Kev? We want to win the championship and you can't do that if you're not on your game. So whatever it is, put it out of your mind until after the game or sort it out before. Is it a girl?"

"What?!"

Now it was Riko who shrugged his shoulders. "I've never seen you talk to a girl before. At least not when it's not about training. And I had to organize everything back then. You were just lying in bed and..."

"I get it," Kevin interrupted him. He didn't need to hear from Riko again about how he had lost his virginity. The event was traumatizing enough.

Riko just rolled her eyes. "You're such a prude, Kevin. Sex will do you good." Suddenly Riko's eyes widened and he moved closer to him. "Or are you fucking Jean? I know you spend a lot of time together, but I never thought..."

"No!" Kevin interrupted him again. He was aware that he was on thin ice with his behavior, but he was less concerned about that at the moment. "Jean and I are just... friends."

Calling Jean his friend was just as dangerous as interrupting Riko. Riko had already made it clear more than once that he thought nothing of Jean and only regarded him as his plaything. Kevin, on the other hand, saw Jean as his friend. His best friend.

"Friends with certain perks? You know you can tell me anything. We're brothers, after all."

Kevin hadn't felt this brotherhood for years. "There's no one there. Neither a woman nor a man, Riko. And yes, I'll tell you if there is someone there. Happy?"

Riko looked at Kevin's face for a while and then nodded. "But if you ever want to get laid, just say the word and I'll organize someone for you."

Kevin nodded and closed his eyes to make the most of the two-hour drive to their away game, but a few minutes later Riko started talking about their opponents and so Kevin had no choice but to listen to him and occasionally give an answer.

As always when they left Evermore, Kevin had to get used to the brightness and the volume. The colors of the opponents were white and green, and the locker rooms were painted accordingly. Kevin found himself stroking the white wall because his brain sometimes forgot that color existed.

His bones felt like lead as Kevin changed into his jersey. His teammates didn't look any better, but they all had no choice. They had to perform.

Aaron Minyard, 5:34pm:
Good luck with your game today! We have a home game today. Good for me, I hate long car rides and Coach would rather drive us across the country than fly. But at least I can study on the rides then. Or at least try to. The others aren't exactly quiet. Anyway, good luck!

Kevin smiled at the news. He had quickly gone to the bathroom to read the message in secret.

Kevin Day, 5:36pm:
Thanks, you too! I usually use the bus rides to sleep. But Riko kept me awake today to discuss our opponents again. The things you don't sacrifice to be an Exy god.

Aaron Minyard, 5:37pm:
Showoff

Kevin Day, 5:38pm:
Just repeating what the press is saying.

Aaron Minyard, 5:39pm:
I know for a fact you're hiding somewhere to answer me, so I'll stop writing you now. Go get 'em, Kevin!

Kevin Day, 5:40pm:
I'm not hiding at all. I'm in the restroom if you want to know for sure.

Aaron Minyard, 5:41pm:
Too much information

Kevin Day, 5:41pm:
I thought you weren't going to answer anymore?

Aaron Minyard, 5:42pm:
*middle finger emoji*

Kevin laughed softly when he saw Aaron's last message and locked his phone again. He hurried to join the others, earning an angry look from Riko when he was late.

The Ravens won 10-1, it could have been more goals, but a win is a win. The joy was limited because everyone knew they had failed. The master would hold every single mistake against them and they would have to run several penalty laps before they could go to sleep.

The drive back to Edgar Allen University was accordingly silent.

Aaron had congratulated him on the win and told him that the Foxes had lost.

Kevin would watch the game and then he could tell Aaron what they had done wrong, but he had little doubt that Aaron had played well. The Foxes were just a bunch of slobs who needed to learn to play together. Even Kevin as the best - second best - striker would go down there mercilessly.

But Kevin saw the potential. He saw the improvement over the past few weeks since the Ravens had played them. He knew Aaron. They didn't talk much about Exy or what was really going on with them, but Kevin felt like he already knew him well. It made him happy when he saw a new message from him on his phone.

As already suspected, the Ravens had to endure their punishments. Kevin and Riko were spared halfway, as Riko enjoyed a higher position than everyone else anyway and they had played really well today.

Completely exhausted, Kevin dropped into bed a few hours after the final whistle.

He had just closed his eyes when he felt the mattress give way beneath him and a warm body snuggled up against him.

"Kevin," Riko whispered in his ear. "Tell me your little secret."

Kevin opened his right eye and looked directly into Riko's face, which was hovering far too close above his. "Which one?"

"Who you write with all the time."
"With a friend."
"Aha."
"I'm tired, Riko." Kevin closed his eye again and turned demonstratively to the other side, but Riko didn't go back to his own bed, instead pecking Kevin in the side.

"A friend, then. Didn't know you had friends besides Jean and me. Is it that captain from the Trojans? The one who's always grinning so much?"
"Jeremy and no."
"If it's not our Sunshine Boy, then who is it?"

Kevin turned back to Riko with a groan. "It's just a friend, Riko. Nothing that will limit my performance on the field. You are and always will be my best friend. Satisfied?"

Riko looked at him for a while until he nodded and finally lay down in his own bed. "Never forget, Kev, that you promised to be by my side forever." He tapped his left cheek where the number 1 was tattooed. "You're my number two."

"I know." It was hard to forget when Kevin had to look at the 2 in the mirror every day. "Good night."

Kevin forgot about the conversation with Riko. He was far too busy with training and university to think about anything else anyway.

Until he was woken up in the middle of the night by the ringing of his phone.

A quick glance at the other side of the room told him that Riko wasn't in his bed and another glance at the display of his cell phone revealed that Aaron was calling.

Aaron...

"What happened?" Kevin asked in alarm.

They didn't talk on the phone. They never did. They didn't send each other audios either. Kevin had almost forgotten what Aaron's voice sounded like and had to pull himself together not to find a way to leave the nest to go to him.

"She's dead," came from the other end of the line in a broken voice.

Chapter Text

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AARON:

Chapter Text

KEVIN:

Chapter Text

AARON:

Chapter Text

KEVIN:

3 missed calls.
15 new messages.
All from Aaron.
All from his sun. His light. His lifeline.

Kevin stared at the picture that lit up as Aaron called him for the fourth time in the last five minutes. He wanted to press the green button, but his fingers didn't obey him. His hand didn't do what he wanted it to.

It had been stupid to send the message, but Kevin couldn't take it anymore. He was at the end. What was the point of life if it was nothing but pain? If everything he did was wrong?
The screen of his phone went black as Aaron was presumably forwarded to voicemail. Shortly afterwards, it lit up again with a new message from Aaron.

Kevin lifted his eyes from his phone and looked over at Riko, who hadn't moved for ten minutes. The comforter rose and fell, so Kevin was sure that he was at least still breathing. 
It was nothing short of a miracle that both Kevin and Riko were still alive, and it was a bigger miracle that they managed to get up every day to train. Tomorrow they had their next match and Kevin wasn't sure if they would hear the final whistle. 
The master had made sure that Kevin and Riko could only play in the greatest pain. Kevin's back and the soles of his feet were a battlefield and with every movement and every body check from his teammates, a wound was torn open again. At the end of every training session, Kevin had to pull his bloody socks off his feet. It hurt. Every time. He no longer knew what life was like without this pain.

Riko wasn't much better off. He didn't talk about it, but Kevin knew that he was also in unspeakable pain. That he no longer knew how to hold himself up, let alone play. 
And yet they would both step onto the pitch tomorrow with their heads held high and play their opponents to the ground. They would walk off the pitch as winners and act as if nothing had ever happened.

Kevin's phone lit up again with an incoming call and this time he answered it.
"Kevin?!" came the shrill voice from the other side of the line. "OMG where are you? Are you okay?" Aaron's voice cracked.
"I'm in bed," Kevin whispered so as not to wake Riko. "I'm still alive." 
"What happened?" Aaron still sounded upset, but much calmer than a moment ago.
Kevin stared at Riko's chest, which was rising and falling. "Nothing."
"Don't lie to me, Kev."
"You called me Kev." A smile spread across Kevin's face that didn't reach his eyes. He was so damn tired.
Aaron snorted. "Don't distract me. Why are you in bed already? It's only nine thirty. Don't you guys always train until after midnight?"
"There's a game tomorrow." Tetsuji didn't really care much about that. The Ravens were allowed to go to bed a little earlier on days before a game, but rarely this early. No one knew why today was different. Kevin's guess was that otherwise he and Riko really wouldn't survive tomorrow and Tetsuji needed his stars. "Where are you?"
"In my bedroom. Actually, I was watching a movie with the others when you texted me."
"Sorry."
"Don't be."

They were silent for a moment and Kevin's eyes slowly closed.
"Kev? Were you going to kill yourself?"
"Mhh? No. I don't think so. Why?"
"Your message sounded like it. Nicky... Nicky was, is, was suicidal. He had a relapse a couple months ago. He sounded a lot like you. He gave me a big hug and told me he loved me and the next thing I knew I was in the hospital waiting for him with Andrew."
"Why did he do that?"
"I don't know. Nicky doesn't talk to us about things like that. He doesn't want to be a burden on us, which is total bullshit. Andrew and I asked more of him than he deserved. He deserves to be looked after, but he doesn't want that. Nicky once said to me that he wouldn't know what to do without us because his only job in life was to look after us."
"Nicky is a great person."
"That he is. So are you, Kevin."
"I like it better when you call me Kev."
Aaron laughed softly and it was the nicest thing Kevin had ever heard. "All right, Kev. What happened?"
Riko turned his head and Kevin could see him staring at him in the dim light. "Just a little breakdown," Kevin replied, holding Riko's gaze. "Nothing serious. I have to hang up, but I'll be in touch." He didn't wait for an answer from Aaron, but pressed the red button.

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

AARON:

Aaron had never liked celebrating birthdays. Maybe because Tilda had never thought about it. Until his 6th birthday, he didn't even know that there was such a thing as a birthday.
On his 6th birthday, his teacher congratulated him. He was allowed to reach into the birthday box and received the first present of his life. For the rest of the day, Aaron was happier than ever, because for the first time in his life he was the center of attention. He was celebrated. Other people were happy and glad that he was born.

Then he made the mistake of telling Tilda about it. He asked her if they could celebrate his birthday in the same way as at school. Tilda said no, but Aaron, who at that point hadn't really learned when it was better to keep his mouth shut, begged. He wanted a birthday cake too. Blow out candles. Do all the things his classmates had told him about. Tilda got angry and hit Aaron. It wasn't the first time, but it was the first time she hadn't immediately hugged him. Before that, she had always slapped him and then pulled him into her arms, crying and apologizing.

When Aaron turned 7, he asked for a cake again. He was hit again.
When he turned 8, he only asked for money, but Tilda was too high to even give an answer, so Aaron stole the money for a cake and a candle.
When Aaron turned 13, he did the same thing, only this time he bought two candles. One for himself and one for the brother he never got to meet.
Two years later, Tilda died and they came to live with Nicky, who then made sure the twins had a happy birthday. Every year.

Andrew had confided in him on their first birthday together that no one had ever celebrated his birthday. Except for Cass. But Drake lived with Cass, too.

That had been the day Andrew had told him about his life in the system. About all the men who'd raped him. About Drake. Aaron would have liked to kill Drake for it. Andrew had merely put a hand on his arm and stopped him from getting up from the roof to look for Drake. He had called him Ari for the first time. Aaron had cried. For Andrew's life. For the injustice. Because Andrew hadn't had a better life than he had. Because he had lived with a monster just like Aaron. He knew that the system couldn't be much better than life with Tilda, but he had had hope. Hope that maybe his brother had it better after all. That he had ended up with a nice family who loved him. Who would make everything possible for him.

But none of the brothers were allowed to do that.

At that moment, Nicky had called for them and when they came into the living room, Aaron could have cried again. Nicky had turned the living room into a small movie theater with popcorn and soft drinks. He had baked a cake for each twin and was beaming all over his face. Money was tight at the time. Nicky had several jobs, Erik was still paying the rent and they were still getting to know each other, but Nicky had tried to give them a nice birthday. And Nicky had also made sure that the twins always had a great day the following years.

This year was no exception. Aaron had heard him working in the kitchen at 2 a.m., probably getting everything ready for their big day.

The next morning he wasn't woken up by his alarm clock as usual, but by Andrew shaking his shoulder. “Wake up!”
“My alarm hasn't gone off yet.” Aaron had hardly been able to sleep since Kevin had left so suddenly after the Fall Banquet. So he was enjoying every minute of sleep.
“Get up!” Andrew shook his shoulder again and shortly afterwards Aaron felt him climbing up the ladder to his bed. Andrew hated physical contact and the fact that he had shaken Aaron's shoulder like that was something special in itself, but the last time Andrew had been in bed with him had been the night before the trial when they had decided whether Nicky was still fit to look after two teenagers. “Happy birthday, Ari,” Andrew whispered.
“Happy birthday, Drew,” Aaron whispered back. His back was pressed against the wall so there was still some space between their bodies. He wanted Andrew to feel comfortable.

For a few minutes, they just looked at each other. They memorized each other's facial features, even if they were their own. Aaron relaxed more with every heartbeat. Was it supposed to be like this? Was this what it felt like to have a brother? A twin? Was this how they had lain in their mother's womb? Aaron needed Andrew, but Andrew also needed Aaron. Despite their differences and their past problems, they needed each other.
At that moment, Aaron hated Tilda even more. She had kept him from experiencing this more often. Having that connection with his own brother. She had made sure that they were strangers at first and only then painstakingly picked up the broken pieces of their relationship and put them back together again.

“Drewie! Ari! Breakfast!!!” came Nicky's voice from outside. Andrew sighed softly and rose to get out of bed. Aaron followed him and together they left the bedroom.
Nicky had decorated the whole apartment and on the kitchen table, next to a sumptuous breakfast, were two small birthday cakes with candles on them. A chocolate cake with extra chocolate icing for Andrew and one with fruit for Aaron.

“Happy birthday!” Nicky was almost squealing with excitement and, being the impetuous person he was, he immediately pulled Aaron into a hug. Andrew, meanwhile, had already pounced on his cake and Nicky just beamed at him. Andrew initiated touches and Nicky respected that.
“Thank you, Nicky!” Aaron was speechless as usual. He didn't know how he could ever make it up to him. Probably never. No amount of money in the world could replace what Nicky had given up for them.
His cousin had sat down at the table and shoveled lots of food onto the twins' plates. “You're welcome. And now eat. Your classes start soon and you still have to get changed. Oh, lest I forget: This is from Erik. It arrived yesterday. I keep telling him to send the parcels earlier so they don't arrive so late, but he won't listen to me.” Nicky rolled her eyes and handed them both a small box. “He's also sent lots of sweets, but these are your birthday presents. You'll get mine at the weekend.”

Aaron put down the fork he had been using to shovel cake into his mouth and accepted the package. Curious as he was, he literally tore the paper off the parcel and would have liked to drop it immediately. Under the wrapping paper were new headphones. Pretty expensive headphones. A glance at Andrew confirmed that he had received the same ones, only in black. “Umm, Nicky...?”
“Uh huh?”
“Has Erik gone mad?”
“What? Oh no. He asked me what you'd be happy about and I told him that your headphones broke and you always borrow mine or Andrew's when you're studying.”
“But then cheap ones would have been enough and not...those...”
Nicky was still beaming all over her face. “Be happy, Aaron. Erik loves you just as much as I love you and he would do anything for you.”
Aaron knew that. Damn, he knew that. Erik had cared so much for all three of them the past few years, even though he was on the other side of the world. He'd taken over the rent on the house in Columbia for the first year until Nicky was able to take it on himself, and even then, Erik had still supported him. He'd fucking let him go so he could take care of Andrew and him. Erik deserved the best in this world and yet Aaron found it hard to accept gifts from him. Erik made damn good money in Germany and his family supported him unconditionally, so Erik could afford to give them both new headphones and Nicky had probably gotten a pair as well.

“Erik was going to call when he got back from work. It'll probably be around 1pm. That's when all three of us have a break.” Of course, Nicky not only had the schedules of all three of them in mind, but also Erik's schedule and the time difference.
“Okay,” was all Aaron could say, because nothing would come from Andrew and he had no words, but Nicky had had enough. He had learned years ago that he had to make do with these little things.

Neil turned up a few minutes later and pressed a bottle with a ribbon on it into Aaron's hand. “You're drinking way too little.”
“Um... thanks.”
“You're welcome.” Neil smiled at Aaron and then turned to Andrew, but Aaron tuned out the conversation.

He looked at the bottle, which was transparent except for the many small stethoscopes, hearts and other medical images. Dark gray lines with the time marked one side of the bottle and it was light enough that it didn't weigh too heavy in his backpack when full.
Nicky was the first to ever give him a gift. Erik followed shortly after and Katelyn had given him a blanket last year because he was always cold. But other than that, he'd never gotten a present.
Neil wasn't even his friend. Or was he? He was nice and obviously tried to get the best out of the team. But that didn't make them friends. Neil was the one fucking his brother, a thing Aaron didn't want to think about.

“We need to get going! Chop chop, my little ducklings.” Nicky clapped his hands and handed all three of them a can of breakfast that had been left over and took the bottle from Aaron's hand to fill it up with water. Andrew rolled his eyes, but Aaron could see the soft smile on his lips. Even though Andrew always tried to appear aloof, he loved Nicky.

“Happy Birthday!!!” Katelyn almost smothered Aaron as she sat down next to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. “I've got something for you!” Her voice almost cracked with excitement as she placed a box on the table for him. They still had a few minutes before their class began.
Aaron gave Katelyn one of his rare genuine smiles. “Thank you, Kate.” Carefully, he grabbed the gift and ripped open the wrapping paper. It was almost too precious to tear off without a second thought. Another box appeared underneath, but Aaron could already see what it was. “A stethoscope?” he asked in surprise, barely able to keep the joy out of his voice. “Wow...”
“As a future doctor, you must be prepared.” Kateyln's smile didn't falter for a second and he loved that about her. She was so uncomplicated. Loud, always in a good mood, but could also be serious when the situation called for it. She had always been there for him over the last two years and hadn't let his grumpy nature get her down. She was his best friend and sometimes Aaron didn't know what he would do without her.

Aaron took the stethoscope out of its packaging and stroked it carefully. It was smooth and cool under his fingers and felt good.

The first time Aaron had been in hospital was when he was four. He couldn't remember why, only that the hospital had fascinated him. People were helped here. People left this magical place healthy again. Everything could be fine here. Over the years, Aaron had been there countless times and the older he got, the more he realized that the hospital was not a magical place where people were healed. Not everyone left the building and not everyone was cured. The doctors took little interest in their patients, even when it was obvious that a 13-year-old was being drugged and abused by his mother.
Aaron decided he wanted to change that. He wanted to be there for children like he himself had been. To listen to them and help them. Children usually don't have a voice of their own. It is robbed from them and they are locked in a cage that adults argued with rules and safety. An adult was more likely to be believed than a child. Aaron had experienced this first-hand and he hated it. Not that he wanted to be separated from his mother at 13, but he should have been helped. Perhaps the system would actually have been the better decision for him.
Being able to hold that stethoscope in his hands now, sitting in that room full of future doctors, was one of the best feelings he had ever felt. It meant everything to him, because it was proof that it had been the right decision. That he could actually do it.

Kate pressed a kiss to his cheek. “You're going to be a great doctor, Aaron. I know you will.”

“Has your loverboy contacted you again?”
“Kevin is not my loverboy.”
“Ah...Kevin...”
“Fuck you, Drew!”
Andrew opened the window and sat down on the windowsill to light a cigarette. “No, thanks. Has he written to you?”
“You're worse than Nicky.”
“No one can,” came Nicky's voice from the kitchen, who shortly afterwards came into the living room with two cups of ice cream, where Aaron had been trying to study. He handed Andrew one of the cups and sat down on the couch. “So, did Kevin write to you?” asked Nicky.

Aaron rolled his eyes and slammed shut the book he'd been working in. “He wished me a happy birthday.”
“That's it?”
“What else do you want him to do, Nicky?” Nicky shrugged her shoulders and put a spoonful of ice cream in her mouth. “Call you? Come by?”
“He's in West Virginia,” said Andrew, who had finished his cigarette and was now turning his attention to his ice cream.
“I know that, but...”
“You should know better than anyone what it's like to be in a long-distance relationship,” Andrew interrupted him.
“We're not in a relationship!”
“You kissed and spent a night together. You've been on your phone for weeks, texting or talking to him every free minute. I watched you at the Fall Banquet, little brother. You were happy. Really happy. With him by your side. Look me in the eye and tell me you don't love him?”

Aaron looked into Andrew's eyes, but he couldn't get a word out. “He's a Raven,” was all he said in the end.
Nicky, who couldn't have known about the kiss, ignored this new piece of information, or he had pieced it together when he found the two of them half-naked in bed. “So, is it illegal to have a relationship with someone from another team?”

Aaron sighed softly. He didn't know how much he could tell his family about the Ravens, so he tried to leave out some details. “The Ravens don't like to get involved with people outside the team. Relationships are generally viewed very critically. It's all about Exy with them. That's all that matters.”
“Oh Ari...” Nicky almost sounded like he felt sorry for him, but that was the last thing Aaron wanted. “There's more, isn't there?”
Aaron hesitated. As he always did. He didn't know what to do and his family was here. They were listening to him, trying to understand him. Neil wasn't there for once, although he was usually glued to Andrew's side. Andrew had a bit more information and he could always see through Aaron's façade and Nicky could always tell when he wasn't feeling well. “There's a lot more to it.”
“Talk to us so we can help you.”
Aaron looked his cousin and his twin in the eye one by one and nodded.“All right.” And then he told them everything.

“Okay wow.” Nicky and Andrew's ice cream was finished by the time Aaron ended and Andrew had lit another cigarette. Aaron had moved to the couch during his story and was now resting his head on the backrest. Exhausted. Drained. “We should tell Wymack that. Maybe he can talk to Coach Moriyama. Someone has to intervene.” Nicky had already pulled out his  phone, but Aaron just shook his head.
“I've already told Kevin that, but he doesn't want me to. He's far too scared of the consequences and Coach Moriyama is part of the problem.”
“Then someone's going to die.” Andrew had pulled out one of the knives he had hidden under his black armbands.
“Murder? Seriously, Drew?” Nicky had gone pale and he eyed the knives critically. “We can't just walk into the nest like this and kidnap Kevin.”
“Why not?” Andrew's voice was far too calm and Aaron knew that he was already planning several murders in his head. “Kevin can't stay there.”
“Neither can Jean,” Aaron interjected. “Kevin asked me to protect him if anything happened to him.”
“Then we'll get Jean out of there too. One person more or less makes no difference.”

Nicky ran a stressed hand through his dark curls. “Lord, what have I done wrong?” he muttered quietly, turning his gaze to the ceiling as if God would really answer him. If he would, he would never have allowed Nicky to get into conversion therapy.

“I'll find a solution.”
“Aaron, sweetheart, that's not your job. I think it's great that you seem to have found someone in Kevin that you like and can confide in. Everyone needs someone in their life who loves them unconditionally. I have Erik and Andrew has found that in Neil. That's why I'm even happier that you found that in Kevin, but there are police, Wymack. I don't know, Campus Security or the FBI for that sort of thing.”
“I doubt the FBI will be looking into it.”
“Not helping, Andrew.” Nicky gave him a dirty look and turned back to Aaron. “I don't want anything to happen to you. I swore to the state and you back then to look out for you.”

Aaron grabbed Nicky's hand and squeezed once. “Thank you for this, Nicky. We tell you way too rarely, but we're so grateful for everything you've done for us, but this is something you can't protect me on. Neither of you can.” Aaron's gaze slid to Andrew. “I don't know what this is between Kevin and me and what it says about me. We've only seen each other twice, but I... There's something. I can't put my finger on it, but he makes me feel good. He makes me happy and he understands me. He understands how hard it is to hate Tilda, even though I know she wasn't a good mother. He has the same thing with Riko. He's been acting differently since the Fall Banquet. I think something's happened. You saw him, Nicky, rushing out of the room. I have to do something. I can't just sit here and do nothing.”

A hundred emotions flitted across Nicky's face until a smile remained. He squeezed Aaron's hand back. “I'm so proud of you, Aaron. It's not easy for me, but I have to trust you to make the right decision.”
“He won't be alone, Nicky. Aaron has me. Us. We'll find a solution together. Maybe someone really will end up dying.”

A weight was lifted from Aaron's shoulders. It felt good to be able to confide in his family like that and to know that they were so unconditionally behind him. That they would do anything to save two men they barely knew themselves. “Thank you!” and Aaron meant it. He was more than just grateful.

Nicky sighed theatrically out loud. “All right. Then I'll tell Neil we'll cancel your birthday party this weekend so we can go to West Virginia.”
“Are we really going to be able to come up with a plan in such a short time?” Aaron looked a little unsure.
“I have no idea,” Andrew admitted. But like I said, we'll find a solution.”

Chapter Text

KEVIN:

“I'm coming to Columbia.”
“What?”
“I'm coming to Columbia.” Kevin couldn't keep the grin out of his voice. He had snuck off to tell Aaron the news himself.

It was evening. Night practice would start in an hour and Kevin knew that Aaron was probably still in the library or in his dorm room at his desk. His own training session had probably been a few hours ago.
Kevin heard a door slam in the background and grinned. So he hadn't been so wrong about the library.

“Say that again,” Aaron asked.
“I. Am. Coming. To. Columbia.” Kevin emphasized each word extra clearly. “Thanksgiving.” There was silence on the other end of the phone for a minute, and Kevin even took his off the hook briefly to see if either of them had accidentally hung up, but the timer was still running. Aaron was still on the line. “Aaron?” Kevin asked uncertainly. “Is that...bad?” He knew he had messed up in the last few days, but somehow he had hoped that Aaron wasn't angry with him and could forgive him.
“Wow...”
“We don't need to see each other. PSU isn't in Columbia anyway, so we're in no danger of running into each other by accident. But I thought it might be nice if we...”
“Kevin,” Aaron interrupted him. “I'd love to see you again.”
“But?”
“No buts. I was just...surprised.”
“Aaron, I...”

“I told Nicky and Andrew everything.”
“Excuse me?!” Kevin couldn't explain it, but a slight panic rose in him at the words. He had only met them both briefly and they actually seemed nice. They were Aaron's family and he knew from Aaron's stories how much they had both taken on to keep him alive. He couldn't hate Nicky and Andrew, even if he didn't get along with them. But knowing that they knew about him, about the nest. About all the things he'd told Aaron in confidence.

“I'm sorry, Kev, but I was worried about you. I still am. This is the first call I've gotten in weeks. You completely ignored me for almost a week just to write me a message asking me to give you a reason to stay alive. I... I care about you, Kevin Day.You´re damn important and I care, but I can't do this alone anymore. I have no idea how to help you and Jean. How to get you out of this without killing someone. So I turned to my family. Andrew has killed for me before and got away with it and Nicky will do anything to make me happy anyway and you make me happy. I need you alive and preferably by my side too.”

“I make you happy?”
“Yes, you idiot.”
“That takes away some of my anxiety to be honest.”
Aaron sighed softly. “I'm sorry, Kev. I didn't mean to cause you any more problems. I also promise you I haven't said anything to anyone else.”
“It's okay, Aaron.”
“I'm sorry.”
“It's really all right. I understand that. I probably would have done the same thing if the roles had been reversed.”

“Columbia, then?” Aaron changed the subject.

Kevin had sat down on the floor during the conversation and was now leaning back against the wall. His eyes were fixed on the black wall opposite. He knew that hardly anyone came to this part of the nest and that most people used the break to do their university work, sleep or fuck. No one would find him here and he would not be overheard. For a brief moment, he imagined that the wall wasn't black, the floor wasn't cold and the phone wasn't at his ear. Instead, he was sitting with Aaron on the grass in front of a university building and could hold his hand. He could look into his hazel eyes and hear his laughter.

“I've been invited to an interview and apparently there's supposed to be a photo shoot for some sports magazine.”
“And by 'me', I'm sure you mean you and Riko.”
Kevin nodded. “We are always together.”
“Then I'll tell Nicky that he just has to move our birthday party to Thanksgiving weekend.”
“Nicky wanted to cancel your party?”
Aaron laughed softly. “Yeah. Actually, we were going to get you out of the nest this weekend, but we don't have a plan yet, and if you're practically coming to us the following weekend anyway, you'll save us a lot of driving.”
“Did Aaron Minyard just try to make a joke?” Kevin could literally hear Aaron rolling his eyes.
“Can you take another week, Kev?”
“If you call me Kev next week when I see you and kiss me again, then yes.” Where this courage to flirt came from, Kevin didn't know.
“We'll see next week, Kevin.”

Kevin was tense throughout the week. He tried very hard not to let it show and gave even more than usual in training, without trying to outdo Riko of course. His whole body still ached from the beating he had received for being late, but this pain only spurred him on even more. He had a new destination: Aaron.

It was not uncommon for Kevin and Riko to fly to press events and pose for the camera. After all, they were Exy's golden sons. The public had taken a liking to dubbing Riko and Kevin the unofficial mascots of the sport. There were entire groups following Kevin and Riko's every move. Every Instagram post, every tweet, every interview, even every game was analyzed down to the smallest detail.

Kevin was used to this attention on his person, but he didn't like it. Not always, anyway. Some days he enjoyed being the center of attention. It gave him the feeling that he was important. That he had done something right in his life. Exy was all he knew. Who was he if he couldn't play Exy anymore?

But he still felt uncomfortable most of the time. Did he always say the right thing? Did he make Riko look good? Were there really no bruises? Scratches? The constant panic of doing something wrong or not being good enough accompanied him all the time.

“Are you looking forward to the weekend?” Jean asked him as they ate dinner together.
“A little.” Kevin hadn't told him that he was going to meet Aaron. He didn't even know how they were supposed to manage that when Riko was always by his side.

Both of them were so used to always being together that sometimes it didn't feel right to be alone, even though Kevin had more than wanted to be in the last few weeks. When he was alone, he could call Aaron. He could text with him as much as he wanted. The Ravens' partner system had destroyed them all when it came to loneliness, but Aaron healed that little part of him.

Jean shoveled a fork into his mouth and raised a dark eyebrow. “Katelyn told me Aaron's going to celebrate his birthday in Columbia this weekend. Didn't even know that was possible.”
“Thanksgiving is celebrated on Thursdays.” Kevin didn't know that for sure. He had never celebrated Thanksgiving again after his mother died and Jean was from France. “I think you can go clubbing at the weekend then.” Kevin looked questioningly at Jean, who shrugged his shoulders.
“I have no idea,” he mumbled in French and shoved another fork into his mouth.

At that moment, Riko sat down next to Kevin with his plate. “I swear I'm going to kill Grayson one day.” At the mention of Grayson's name, Jean stiffened slightly.
“Why?” Kevin inquired. He didn't like Grayson much, but he didn't like almost any of the Ravens. Except for Jean. And Riko, but his feelings for him were complicated anyway.
Riko poked at his food as if he imagined it was Grayson. “The idiot can't deflect any of my balls. He's even incapable of stopping Cameron or Brayden. What's the point of a backliner if he can't stop a Striker from scoring?” Riko sounded upset. And rightly so, because the final was getting closer with every game and the Ravens wanted to win. The trophy should be in Riko's hands at the end of the season.
“He needs more training.” Jean had averted his eyes, because no matter that he was No. 3, he had no right to say anything about practice or Grayson unless he was told to, so he kept quiet and Kevin did the talking.
“How much more training do you want me to give this useless loser, Kevin? We already have a 16-hour day. I'm not completely stupid and I know that a little sleep is good.”

Of course Riko knew that. He had lived in this prison since he was born and had never had a day off. It was so easy to forget that Riko was also a human being with feelings and needs and not just an exy-playing robot.

Riko's dark eyes slid from Kevin to Jean, who was sitting across from them. “You're a backliner,” he stated unnecessarily. “Why don't you take the time tonight at night practice to show him why you're number three and not him.” It wasn't a question, it was an order.
“Will do.” Jean held Riko's eye contact for exactly the duration of the conversation before turning his eyes back to his food.

Kevin hated this subservience, but he also understood why Jean did it. He had not only had to patch up the backliner once after Riko had finished with him. Jean was able to play through the worst pain without losing much of his talent. Kevin wondered if he would ever see the day when Jean would play without pain.

Riko seemed satisfied with the statement and turned to Kevin. “I don't feel like doing this fucking interview. I'd much rather be training. Or fuck Cassidy.”
“I'm sure Columbia has women too,” Kevin replied. He sometimes felt sorry for Cassidy, but his pity was limited because she fucked Riko voluntarily.
“You're right again, Kev. How about you? We could hit the streets of Columbia together. Uncle won't be with us.”
“Oh really?” That made it a lot easier for Kevin to see Aaron again. He would get Riko distracted somehow, but the Master? That could have been difficult.
Riko nodded. “Has better things to do than supervise us. We could find a club. Just you and me. What do you say?”
Kevin exchanged a furtive glance with Jean, who silently finished his food. “Sounds good. I might know a club. The Foxes were talking about it after our last game against them.”
“I told you to cut off contact with that little number five.”
“I did,” Kevin lied. “Like I said, they were talking about a club in Columbia at the last game and it might be something for us.”
Riko looked him up and down. “All right.”

It didn't feel like a win, but the beginning of a big loss.

The interview went without any major problems and the photo shoot was also over within a few hours. Riko and Kevin had been given a hotel room for the whole weekend and since Tetsuji had booked it for them personally and had given them no further orders, the two of them stayed the whole weekend.

Riko wanted to hit the streets of Columbia as soon as they arrived at the hotel, but Kevin forced him to take a shower and eat a snack before he got drunk.

“If I find a girl, you'll have to sleep somewhere else for the night. Or you can join me. Decide for yourself.” Riko was in such a good mood that he even gave Kevin the choice, even if the options were quite questionable. In general, the day had felt as if Riko was once again the boy Kevin had gotten to know.
He had made jokes with Kevin that didn't go below the belt and seemed totally happy. This weekend in freedom was not only good for Kevin, but also for Riko. It finally gave him back the Riko who had given him such security as a child.
Kevin smiled. “We'll see about that. Maybe I'll find someone too and you'll have to find a new place to sleep.” It was supposed to be a joke, but Riko's expression changed.
“Man or woman?”

“Excuse me?”
“Would you choose a man or a woman?”
Kevin faltered. “I...” He could tell the truth or lie. No idea how Riko would react. “I don't know,” he finally finished his sentence.
“Mhh... okay,” was all Riko said. He didn't seem to care that Kevin had more or less outed himself. Riko probably didn't care either, as long as Kevin kept performing on the pitch. “Can we get going? I feel like getting drunk.”

Kevin nodded and grabbed his jacket. He had texted Aaron in advance that he and Riko were going to party and which club he was always going to. Aaron had assured him that he would be there. Presumably with Andrew and Nicky, Kevin assumed. Since Kevin had told Riko beforehand that the Foxes often partied at this club, he hoped that it wouldn't be too conspicuous if Riko saw him talking to Aaron.

Eden's Twilight was...loud.
Kevin was only used to so many people and such a volume in the stadium, and there the masses of people were in the stands and not with him on the pitch. Now the bodies were pressing against him. He smelled the sweat and the alcohol. At that moment, Kevin was glad that he was wearing a long-sleeved shirt, even if it was already far too hot for him. But at least he didn't have to feel his bare skin on his own.

Riko was a lot shorter than Kevin and so it was Kevin's job to look over the heads of the others for a table (&Aaron). He finally found one and sat down on the chair. His head was already pounding and his whole skin was itching.

“Are clubs always like this?” he asked, a little overwhelmed by the noise.
Riko also seemed a little dazed, even though he often snuck out to party. “Don't be like that.” There was no bite or anything in his voice.
“Shall I get some alcohol?” Kevin asked, even though he had no desire to ever move away from this table.
“Gladly.” Riko took out his wallet and pressed a few bills into Kevin's hand.

The walk to the bar was long and tiring. Kevin flinched at every touch and with every blond mop of hair he saw, he hoped it was Aaron. It was never him.

When he arrived at the bar, he had to somehow attract the attention of the bartenders, but that was difficult when the others around him were louder than he was.

“Roland!” a very familiar voice sounded next to him. “The usual please and double the order.” The bartender, who had ignored Kevin so far, nodded and immediately began mixing drinks and placing them on a tray. “Are you new here? I don't think I've ever seen you here before.” Aaron leaned against the bar as if he owned the club.

He was wearing black pants and a black tank top and if Kevin wasn't already sure that he found Aaron very attractive beforehand, his opinion would have changed by now at the latest.

“You look hot,” he said without thinking about it.
A smile slowly appeared on Aaron's face. “And you look like you're hot. A long-sleeved shirt? Really now?”
“I've never been to a club before. No idea what the dress code is.”
“I can tell.” Aaron had leaned forward a little to avoid having to shout the whole time. He was so much shorter than Kevin, but fit him perfectly. Aaron had been made for Kevin. Or Kevin for him. “Where's Riko?”
“At our table. I'm just getting the alcohol.”
“Here. Give him this.” Aaron took a sachet out of his pocket and handed it to Kevin.
Kevin grabbed the bag. “What's this?”
“It's not important. The important thing is that Riko will leave you alone all evening.”
“Drugs?” Aaron remained silent. “Aaron, where did you get this?”
“Irrelevant.”
“Aaron, you were a drug addict. Where did you get the drugs?”

“Here. Anything else?” The bartender interrupted them and placed a full tray in front of them.
“Two sodas, please.”
The bartender looked irritated at the soda already on the tray and then added two more cans. “Neil can always get more sodas.”
“Oh, they're not for Neil.”
“For your new boyfriend? I didn't know you were gay too. Runs in the family, I guess.” The bartender had propped himself up on the counter and was looking at Kevin almost greedily. “Roland. And you are?”
“Stop flirting, Roland! You're worse than Nicky.”
Roland raised his hands defensively. “It's all right, Aaron. Just trying to be polite.”
Kevin felt a little uncomfortable and held out his hand to Roland to at least put him in a good mood. “Kevin. Nice to meet you.”
Roland took his hand. “You look familiar, Kevin. Do you also play Exy like Aaron?”
Kevin nodded. “Striker. For the Ravens.”
“Ahh... I don't know much about Exy. Nicky and Aaron kept telling me about it, but other than that.” Roland shrugged his shoulders and turned away again. “Have fun.”

Aaron reached over the counter and picked up a second tray on which he placed a few of the alcoholic drinks and a soda. He also took the bag from Kevin's hand and poured the contents into one of the drinks. “Remember this and make sure Riko drinks it. It won't kill him or make him addicted. He'll just have a good time and leave you alone. Trust me, Kev.”
There it was again. The nickname. It felt so good every time Aaron used it.
“You didn't correct Roland about us being together.”
Aaron was about to reach for his tray, but paused. “Isn't this going to come down to us dating after I get you out of the nest?”
“And your big plan is to drug Riko in the process?”
“In war, all weapons are legal.”
Kevin laughed softly. “I'll find you, Aaron Minyard, and then you can kidnap me.”
A smile appeared on Aaron's face as well. “I'm looking forward to it, Kev.”

Chapter Text

AARON:

Aaron brought the full tray back to the table and sat down on his chair. His gaze wandered through the crowded club and finally caught on Kevin, who placed his own tray in front of Riko. Riko reached for the glass Kevin handed him and toasted him. Within a few sips, the glass was empty and Riko reached for the next one. Kevin only opened one of the cans and hesitantly took a sip.

“Give him five minutes and he'll be gone.” Andrew had leaned forward a bit and his warm breath on Aaron's overheated skin did absolutely nothing to make him feel better.
“I hate that we're drugging him.”
“Riko deserved it.”
Aaron broke his gaze away from Kevin and Riko for a moment to glare at Andrew. “He did, but as someone who used to be a drug addict himself, that wasn't easy right now.”
Andrew held his gaze. “I know, my dear brother. I'm proud of you.”

Hearing those words come out of his mouth still meant everything to Aaron. He was practically contorting himself to have someone say those words to him and mean them.

“He's coming,” warned Neil, who was sitting next to Nicky on the other side of the table, his eyes as fixed on Kevin as they were on Aaron.

Kevin made his way through the crowd, not looking happy. Every movement made him flinch and he made himself look smaller than he was, which was kind of funny because Kevin was just really tall.

“I'll be right back,” Aaron mumbled and also made his way to stand in front of Kevin.
At the sight of him, Kevin started to smile. “I want to get out of here,” he shouted over the noise of the club.
Aaron returned the smile and grabbed Kevin's hand. “Then come with me.”

He pulled Kevin off the dance floor, even though he would have loved to use the time to dance with him, like at the Fall Banquet. He wanted to feel Kevin's body again, but that would have to wait. First they had to get out of Eden's before Riko noticed anything.
By now he should be so drugged up that he wouldn't notice anything.

Andrew, Neil and Nicky followed them as they headed for the exit. The money Aaron had spent on the alcoholic drinks didn't matter at that moment. He didn't even know why he had ordered so much. Probably so as not to cause a stir with Roland. What was done was done. There was nothing he could do about it now anyway.

Andrew and Neil got the car, while Nicky looked curiously at Kevin. “It wasn't even that difficult to kidnap you.”
“I drugged Riko.” Kevin didn't sound enthusiastic. “And I'm not free yet. What's next?”
“Now, my dear friend, we're going back to our place.” Nicky opened the door of the car Andrew was driving up in at that moment and motioned for Kevin to get in.

Aaron sat in the middle - between Kevin and Nicky. He held Kevin's hand for the entire journey. His heart was beating up to his throat. It had been easy, too easy. There had to be a catch. He couldn't just kidnap Kevin Day from a club in Columbia like that. And what about Jean? What was happening now?
Kevin clutched Aaron's hand as if it were his lifeline. Andrew kept glancing at Aaron through the rearview mirror and Nicky tried to engage Kevin in conversation, but Kevin only answered sporadically.

“Kev, is it okay if you sleep in Aaron's room?” Andrew asked just before they arrived at the house. Aaron wondered why Andrew was already using a nickname for Kevin, but he also felt the tight grip on his hand loosen a little. “You can sleep in the living room or Nicky can go to Aaron's and you can have his room.” Normally Nicky would protest and start an argument with Andrew about the fact that he didn't have to decide for him, after all Nicky had taken them both in, so he wanted to be treated like an adult, but Nicky kept quiet.

Kevin first looked from Aaron to Andrew and then back to Aaron. “Um...Aaron's.” Andrew nodded and turned into the driveway of the house.

“Make yourself at home Kevin,” Nicky unlocked the door and let Kevin go first. But he still hadn't let go of Aaron's hand and saw that he was forced to squeeze past Nicky. “I suggest we sleep here for a night and then we'll see. I'll give you something to sleep in, don't worry.” Nicky put a hand on Kevin's shoulder like a brother, at least that's what he wanted, but Kevin winced when Nicky raised his hand. “Sorry!” Nicky quickly pulled it back and smiled to cover the situation. He had already been through the game with Andrew and Aaron and knew how to behave.

“Come on, I'll show you my room,” Aaron said gently, drawing Kevin's attention back to him. Together they climbed the stairs to the first floor. “It's not particularly tidy because we're only here at the weekend and I'm either drunk or studying and don't want to clean up when I leave.” Aaron shrugged his shoulders.

He was actually very tidy, as he was always beaten by his mother if he didn't tidy up, but he always said so anyway. Old patterns of behavior were hard to get rid of.

Kevin looked around the room and Aaron realized for the first time that he hardly knew what Kevin's room looked like in the nest. He knew he shared one with Riko, but did he have any personal belongings? Pictures? Newspaper clippings? Books? Aaron's room was quite sporadically furnished. Desk, bed, closet and a bookshelf that was covered in old books from the time he had lived here with Andrew and Nicky. The walls were painted white, but he still had a few posters of bands he liked from his teenage years hanging on the wall and exactly three pictures hung above his desk.

One of him with Katelyn, which she had given him for his birthday last year. It was one of the first selfies they had taken together.

The second picture was of Aaron and Andrew with Nicky at their graduation. Nicky was beaming from ear to ear and had an arm around each of the twins' shoulders. Aaron remembered how Nicky had insisted on a picture and had pressed the phone into some strange mother's hand. Andrew had just rolled his eyes but said nothing. Aaron had tried to look as annoyed as Andrew, but he had been far too proud of himself to feel anything but joy.

The third and last was a picture of him and his mother. Tilda had had the same blonde hair as her sons, but her eyes had been green.
Green like Kevin's.
Aaron had never noticed this because he had never seen Kevin and his mother next to each other, but now that Kevin looked closely at this picture, he noticed it.

Green eyes... one had led him to his doom and the other had saved him.

“She looks a lot like you,” Kevin said after a few minutes. “How old were you in the picture?”
“I think four. Or five.” Aaron had to clear his throat before he could speak. “Did you look like your mother?” he wanted to know from Kevin.
He shrugged his shoulders. “According to the internet, yes.”
“You... don't remember her?” Aaron asked cautiously.
Another shrug of the shoulders. “A little. But her voice and her looks are a blur now.” Kevin turned to Aaron and stopped staring at the picture of him and Tilda. “It's crazy that everyone knows me as Kayleigh Day's son. The heir to Exy. I'm supposed to be the second best Striker in the world, but no one really knows my mom. No one can tell me what her favorite color was or why she named me Kevin. Whether she even wanted me or whether I was an accident. Who my father is.”
“I don't know my mother's favorite color either, and I lived with her for fifteen years. And I was definitely an accident.”
“Because you're a twin?”
“Very funny. No, because no mother would have treated her child the way mom treated me. Not if she'd wanted the child. Besides, she gave up Andrew. It could just as easily have been me. It was just a stupid coincidence that I was allowed to grow up with her.”
“Are you happy sometimes? That Andrew ended up in the system?”
“At the beginning, yes. I had hoped that Andrew would be better off than me. That maybe he'd been adopted by a nice couple and could now lead the life we both deserved. When I heard that he was living with Cass and was about to be adopted, I was jealous. I had imagined what it would be like if we were both adopted by her. But then the letter came and I knew Andrew never wanted anything to do with me.”
“What letter?” Kevin interrupted him gently.

Aaron sighed and flopped down on his bed. “I wrote Andrew a letter back then and told him a bit about me and how much I wanted to get to know him. He replied with 'Fuck you'. In hindsight, I know he only did it to protect me. From Drake. Andrew...” Aaron faltered. It wasn't his decision to tell Kevin about Andrew's past. “Andrew didn't have it any better than me. If anything, he had it a lot worse. It doesn't matter now. Andrew moved in with us when we were fifteen and a few months later mom was dead. Then Nicky came back from Germany and took us in.”

Kevin slowly approached the bed and squatted down in front of Aaron. “So Nicky saved you a little bit?”
“Not just a little bit.” Kevin was so close to Aaron that he could feel his warm breath on his skin.
“Do you think he's saving me too?”
“I'm saving you, Kevin Day.”
“Good, because I don't think Nicky would like it if I kissed him.”

Kevin bridged the last few inches and kissed Aaron. Very gently at first, but when he felt that Aaron wasn't pulling back, he intensified the kiss. Everything exploded inside Aaron. This was what he had been longing for for the past few weeks. Kevin was so incredibly warm and his body matched his perfectly.

Before they could go any further, there was a knock at the door.
Groaning, Aaron pushed Kevin away from him and tried to look as innocent as possible, but he was sure his face was burning red. “Come in!” he called and immediately the door opened and Nicky stuck his head in.
“I got you a few things, Kevin.” He held in his hand fresh clothes, a new toothbrush and towels. “Like I said, make yourself at home. The fridge is full if you want something to eat.” Nicky let his gaze wander around Aaron's room. “Are you sleeping in a bed?” Aaron's cheeks burned even more at the question and so he could only manage a nod. “All right.” Nicky placed the items on the desk. “Remember to use protection, my dears. No one wants an STD.” Nicky said this so naturally and without any shame or judgment in her voice that Aaron wondered for a moment why he found it uncomfortable.
Sex was nothing unnatural and he was old enough to have it. No matter with whom.

“Thanks, Nicky.” Kevin was still kneeling in front of the bed.
Nicky gave him a genuine smile. “Of course, kiddo. Have a good night's sleep.”
“Good night, Nicky,” Aaron hurried to call out before the door slammed shut again.

When Kevin turned his face back to Aaron, he bit his lower lip. “I like him,” he announced.
Aaron flopped back onto his bed and buried his face in his hands. “He could have saved himself that last line.”

He felt the mattress give way beneath him and a little later Kevin had pulled him into his arms. “I'm clean, if that's what you want to know. Ravens are examined at regular intervals.” Kevin sighed. “When you live in such a confined space, at some point you don't care who sleeps with whom and whether you protect yourself.”

“I don't...I...” Aaron tried to make himself even smaller. He often did that when he felt uncomfortable. He used to have to make himself so small so that his mother wouldn't see him. So that she couldn't hurt him. He found it difficult to break this habit.

“Hey...” Kevin broke away from Aaron and leaned over him. “We don't have to do anything. Nothing you don't want. I told you that already back at the hotel.”
Aaron reluctantly removed his hands from his face and looked up at Kevin. “Sex is part of it.”
Kevin opened his mouth and closed it again. “Not if you don't want to.” Aaron could clearly see that there were a lot of little tires turning in Kevin's head. “Riko made me sleep with that one girl. It was cruel. I don't want to make the same mistake with you.”

“He did what?!” Aaron knew Riko was a cruel person and what he had done to Kevin, but this... It reminded him too much of Andrew and Drake. It was cruel. Everything about Aaron froze as he looked into Kevin's green eyes, made brown by the light. “I'm going to kill him.”

Kevin rolled back onto his back and shrugged. “It's all right. He did it a lot more often with Jean.”
“That just makes it worse, Kev.”
“You saved me, Aaron. And we'll free Jean too.”

That was just the problem. Kevin was here for now, with him, but Jean was still in the nest and as soon as Riko's drugs wore off, he knew Kevin was gone and really, he could guess where Kevin was. The only team near Columbia were the Foxes and Riko had seen Kevin and Aaron at the Fall Banquet. Maybe he was smart enough to look for Kevin at the Foxes first.

The whole plan was not well thought out. It didn't make sense. But Aaron would do anything for Kevin, he realized as he felt not fear but anger at the thought of Riko finding them. He didn't want Kevin to be taken away from him again. That Kevin should be locked underground again, where he could never feel sunlight. That he would only be taken out again when they wanted to make money.

Aaron would never allow Kevin to be taken away from him again, even if he had to die for it.

Chapter Text

KEVIN:

Kevin woke up far too early. His body was so set on Raven time that he didn't even realize the time was unusual until an angry-looking Aaron stood in front of him, barely able to keep his eyes open.
Kevin slowly took the toothbrush out of his mouth and spit the toothpaste into the sink. “Morning,” he mumbled.
“Night,” Aaron corrected and pulled him by the wrist back to his bed. Before Kevin could do anything else, Aaron was half on top of him, preventing him from leaving. “It's the middle of the night, Kev. Go to sleep!” he ordered only half-heartedly, because Aaron was already falling asleep again and so Kevin had no choice but to try to fall asleep again.

The next time he woke up was when the front door slammed shut. Sunlight was streaming into the room through Aaron's curtains and Aaron had rolled off Kevin at some point in the last few hours so that he could now quietly get out of bed.

He crept down the stairs as quietly as possible and went into the kitchen to get a glass of water, but he didn't get too far because Andrew was sitting at the kitchen table playing with a knife.
Kevin paused in his movement and stared at Andrew, who stared back at him. At some point, he put the knife down on the table and motioned for Kevin to take a seat with a nod of his head.
He reluctantly took a seat, the glass of water in his hand already forgotten.

“If you hurt Aaron, I'll kill you.”
Kevin blinked slowly. “I have no intention of hurting him.”
Andrew showed no reaction. “I hope you don't. I don't care what shit you went through at the Nest and that we all just put our lives on the line to save you, but I do care about Aaron.” It was a little bit of honesty that Kevin never expected. Not from Andrew.
“I understand,” Kevin tried to defuse the situation. “I'd do the same for Jean, but I'll never hurt Aaron. He's too important to me for that.” A door opened on the upper floor. “Besides, you can't do anything more to me that Riko hasn't already done.”

Andrew opened his mouth, but at that moment Aaron appeared in the doorway, still not looking fully awake. With half-closed eyes, he went to the coffee machine, pressed a few buttons and a little later took the steaming cup to the table. Only after he had taken a few sips did he turn his attention to Kevin and Andrew. “The junkie is running?” Andrew gave him a look that made Aaron roll his eyes. “I knew it,” he mumbled into his cup.

Andrew's gaze rested on his twin brother for a second longer and at that moment Kevin wondered why people found it difficult to tell the two of them apart. Andrew and Aaron were so different.
“I told Neil to bring breakfast if he was going for a run.” Andrew got up from his seat and disappeared from the kitchen.

Kevin looked after him briefly and wondered whether he should tell Aaron about his conversation with Andrew, but decided against it. “So...” he began. “What are we doing today?” His gaze slid from Aaron's face down to his upper body and then to the table that hid the rest of Aaron's body.
“My eyes are up here, Kevin.” Aaron had raised an eyebrow when Kevin let his gaze wander back up.
“You're beautiful,” Kevin blurted out.

Aaron was about to take a sip of coffee, but the cup stopped on its way to his mouth - a mouth that Kevin would like to kiss, but he stayed in his seat at the kitchen table.

“I...you...umm...” Aaron put the cup down on the table, only to immediately pick it up and put it back down. He looked everywhere but at Kevin. “Thanks,” he finally said, picking up the cup for the last time and finally taking a sip.

Kevin watched him with amusement. There was still so much he didn't know about Aaron and he was looking forward to finding out these things about him. For example, how beautiful he looked when he blushed. Or that he didn't know what to do with himself when he was complimented. He blamed his mother, who had never made Aaron feel like he was important.

“We should...go take a shower.” Aaron was still flushed and suddenly his words no longer sounded like a normal suggestion, but like...more.
Kevin felt something change inside him. “Alone or...?”
“We're professional athletes, Day.”
“So?”
“We always shower... together...”
“Aaron, baby, you don't have to do anything you don't want to.”

It had been a stupid slip, but Kevin couldn't undo what he had said. He watched as Aaron searched for an answer. Again. That had to be a new record, Kevin thought to himself and grinned.

“Let's go take a shower.” Aaron emptied his coffee mug and got up from his chair. He reached out a hand to Kevin and pulled him to his feet as well.

Andrew and Nicky's bedroom doors were closed and Neil was still running. They had no privacy, but at least everyone was busy.

Aaron closed the door of his own room behind him and pulled Kevin straight into the adjoining bathroom. He closed the door there too and even locked it.

“I've never done this before,” he said as he turned to Kevin.
“You don't have to sleep with me, Aaron.”
“I...” Aaron sighed and ran a hand through his blond hair. “I'm scared, Kevin. I don't know why exactly. We have shower stalls at Foxhole Stadium and when we're at away games I don't usually care. But somehow I'm still scared.” Aaron made a motion that captured Kevin's entire body. “You just look like that. Perfect. Like a Greek god. And I haven't even seen you naked and then sex... It scares me to think that something is supposed to be inside me. That... I can't describe it without sounding homophobic.”
Kevin grabbed Aaron's hand. “Hey, it's okay. We don't have to do anything you don't want. Never!” He squeezed Aaron's hand gently to emphasize his words. “We have all the time in the world.”
“What about Riko?”
Kevin sighed. He didn't want to think about Riko or the nest. Not about the fact that he'd signed a contract with Edgar Allan and was theoretically in breach of it right now. He didn't want to think about a future where there was no Aaron. “Let's not talk about Riko. Not today.” He leaned down and breathed a kiss on Aaron's lips. “Shower and then we'll have breakfast.”

“What about your shower?” asked Aaron.
“I can take a shower after you. That's no problem at all. And Aaron? Not everyone has to like being fucked. You can be the top too. I'm happy with anything you give me and we can work towards anything together. I'm a very patient man. Especially when it comes to you.”
“And if I never want to sleep with you?”
“Then that's fine too. You just have to talk to me. I can't look into your pretty little head. Tell me if you're uncomfortable, but also tell me what you want.”

Aaron stood on tiptoe and kissed Kevin. “I want to kiss you. I want to be held by you. I want to hear you tell me that I'm beautiful. That I have potential. That I'm worth more than the dirt under your shoes. I just want to be liked for the person I am.”

“Oh baby.” Kevin held Aaron a little tighter. Here in this bathroom in Columbia, where they could just be themselves for a few minutes without having to worry about the future. Without having to think about what might happen when Riko realized that Kevin was gone. That he has left him. For a Fox. It wasn't fair to Jean, but Kevin had to save himself first. He had to survive to free Jean and he would do anything to save his brother. Jean would not die in the Nest. But at that moment, only Aaron existed for him. Only his personal ray of sunshine. “Haven't you understood yet? I'm risking my life to be with you. I would literally die for you, Aaron Minyard. Never again believe that you're not important to me. That you're worth less than the dirt under my shoes, because that's not true.” Kevin put a finger under Aaron's chin and lifted it, because Aaron was looking everywhere but at his face again. “I'll show you every day how much I care about you if you'll let me.”
“Is that a promise?”
“Yes.” With those words, Kevin kissed his Aaron.

Aaron literally melted in his arms, but Kevin didn't mind carrying almost his entire body weight.
The kiss became more urgent, more demanding. Kevin pressed Aaron against the wall, but his hands remained over his clothes. Even as Aaron's cold hands slowly found their way under Kevin's clothes. He let Aaron explore, let him find out for himself what he wanted and what he felt comfortable with.

Kevin had hardly any experience himself. The one girl and Jean. But he had the feeling that Aaron needed exactly that. He had told him not even 10 minutes ago that he was afraid of intimacy. Why that was, Kevin didn't know, but he wouldn't ask now. Not when he had the feeling that Aaron had turned his head off for the first time and given in to his feelings.
His fingers on Kevin's skin were still tentative, but with each passing second he became bolder. He explored every inch he could reach and when he could reach no more, he grumbled in dissatisfaction. Kevin broke away from him only long enough to pull his shirt over his head and instead of his fingers, Aaron's mouth landed on his skin.

“You don't have to do anything...”
“Shut up,” Aaron interrupted him and continued to explore his upper body. When his lips brushed Kevin's nipples, he let out a sigh. “Does that feel good?” Aaron looked up at him. Uncertainty, but also curiosity, was reflected in his gaze,
“Very,” Kevin replied. “I can show you.”
Aaron bit his lower lip and shook his head. “Maybe some other time. Right now, I just want to explore you.”

And Kevin let him. He allowed Aaron to explore him with both his mouth and his fingers. At some point, they heard the front door slam shut and Neil shouting throughout the house that he was back with breakfast.

“Fucking Josten,” Aaron muttered, but he seemed pleased with his progress.
Before they could leave the bathroom, however, Kevin grabbed his wrist and kissed him deeply one last time. “Fuck Josten,” he agreed. “I'd like to stay here with you.”
Aaron snuggled up to him. “Me too, but we need to get something to eat and figure out how to transfer you to Palmetto in the middle of the semester.”
Kevin sighed devotedly. “And how we can save Jean.”
“Exactly.”

Chapter Text

Life was strange.

Just yesterday, Aaron had been sitting in the Foxes' locker room, listening to Nicky's endless chatter (or pretending to listen) and trying to concentrate on the game against the Ravens, and today a nervous Kevin was sitting between him and Katelyn in one of his lectures.

The news that they had kidnapped the best exy player in the world did not go down well with Coach Wymack. He hadn't shouted, because Wymack knew better than to raise his voice to a team full of traumatized young adults, but the message still came across loud and clear: Aaron was in big trouble.

Only two days had passed, but in those two days Aaron had turned his entire life upside down. He had quickly learned that Kevin couldn't be alone. It was okay for him to go to the bathroom, but only if it was in his dorm room. If Aaron wanted to go to the bathroom between lectures or even during one, Kevin always followed him. He practically stuck to him.

Kevin had already told him a lot about life in the nest, and Aaron knew that the Ravens lived in a partner system, but experiencing it firsthand was different.
Kevin eyed the food in the cafeteria as if someone were trying to poison him, and Aaron thought back to their first meeting off the field. Back then, Kevin had torn the muffin into small pieces and eaten it very hesitantly. He probably hadn't eaten a muffin or sweets in years.

Over the last two days, the big puzzle of Kevin Day had made more and more sense. His psyche was much more complicated and broken than Aaron had thought.
Kevin had slept in Aaron's bed on the first night, even though it was much too small for two people, but Kevin had refused to sleep anywhere else. Even the sofa in the living room had been too far away from the others for him.
On the second night, Nicky had suggested sleeping on the couch so Kevin could sleep in his bed, but Kevin had hesitated. Only after Nicky had assured him several times that he had no problem with it and could even talk to Erik on the phone a little longer without disturbing the others did Kevin agree.

Aaron knew that Nicky only talked to Erik on the phone in the middle of the night because of the time difference, but he didn't mention that in Kevin's presence. He was just glad that he accepted something and didn't hold back for the happiness and comfort of others, and Nicky had slept on the couch many times before, so he would survive a few nights.

The big problem with Riko Moriyama remained, and Wymack only knew a rough version of the story, so it was difficult to find a solution. The other Foxes didn't know the truth either and were forced to simply accept that one of their rivals was now sleeping in Aaron, Andrew, and Nicky's room and training with them. Wymack hadn't allowed Kevin to train with them at first, because, for one thing, he didn't have a Foxes uniform, and for another, he didn't know what to do with him.
Kevin trained at a completely different level with a completely different rhythm.

Aaron had taken him, Neil, and Andrew to the stadium in the evening so that Kevin and Neil could train some more. Both had inexhaustible energy, and Kevin's body was attuned to sleeping little and training a lot.
Neil and Kevin had a strange relationship right from the start. They had started arguing about Exy back in Columbia, but at the same time they loved each other because they could understand each other's obsession.

Andrew and Aaron had exchanged a glance and silently agreed that they had fallen for the same type of guy.

Kevin and Neil provoked each other and pushed each other to their nervous limits, but Neil was the first to speak up for Kevin when he ran onto the field after less than an hour of training to tell Seth how badly he was playing. He also gave Kevin his racket and watched as he showed Seth, without a uniform, how to “play Exy properly.” His words, not Aaron's.

The Foxes had just watched silently and reluctantly had to admit that Kevin was one of the two best strikers in the world for a reason. After that, Wymack couldn't stop him, and Kevin had been training with them ever since.

It was the third day after Kevin's “kidnapping.” Aaron was slowly getting nervous, Kevin had never stopped being nervous. Katelyn had no idea what was going on and quietly explained all the technical terms the professor used to Kevin.
She had already taken Kevin into her heart during the Banquet and had simply accepted it when Aaron told her that Kevin was living with them for an indefinite period of time. Aaron didn't know how much Kevin actually understood and retained from the lecture and Katelyn's explanations, but he didn't care because he didn't understand anything himself. Katelyn would have to explain everything to him again soon.

He kept glancing at the door of the lecture hall, but of course it didn't just open to reveal an angry Riko. Instead, it remained firmly closed until his professor ended the class. The first students rushed out of the hall to either get to their next class or grab something to eat in the cafeteria.

Katelyn was still talking to Kevin as she packed her bag. “I sometimes wonder how I can juggle cheerleading and studying, but it's my greatest wish to become a doctor, and cheerleading has earned me a scholarship.” Katelyn tossed her red hair over her shoulder as she put on her backpack. ”Some compromises just have to be made. How about you, Kevin? Exy and university must be just as exhausting, right?” Katelyn already knew the answer from Aaron, who had told her more than once how exhausting everything was and that he sometimes wondered why he was studying medicine at all. He knew the answer, but sometimes it felt good to complain. Kevin just shrugged. He had become quite still since he started living with the Foxes. Probably the fear that was eating away at him from the inside. “I have to go to the library, are you coming with me?”

What Aaron loved so much about Katelyn was that nothing could upset her. She didn't seem to mind that Kevin didn't really answer her. She just smiled at Aaron's shake of the head. ”I'll send you my notes from today later.”
“Thanks,” Aaron managed to say.

He didn't deserve Katelyn. In another life, he would have fallen in love with her and they could have been happy together. In this life, unfortunately, he only loved a dark-haired striker he had kidnapped.

Loved?

Aaron pushed the thought away as quickly as it had come and watched Katelyn wave goodbye and leave the hall.
“Hungry?” Aaron asked Kevin, but he remained silent, as he so often did. “Come on, we still have a little time before practice.” Aaron took Kevin's hand in his and led him out of the building.

It now felt so familiar to walk across the university grounds holding hands with Kevin. He fit so perfectly at his side, and apart from the two on his cheek, Kevin didn't stand out much.

The two on his cheek and the fact that he was the most beautiful man in the world.

The dorm room was empty. Aaron knew that Nicky was usually in the library working on his assignments until practice, Andrew still had a lecture, and Neil was having lunch with Matt.

Kevin plopped down on the couch and pulled Aaron down with him. He immediately wrapped his long arms around Aaron's waist and buried his face in Aaron's shoulder.
“Kevin!“ Aaron laughed and tried to break free, but there was no chance.
”Five minutes,“ Kevin murmured.
”You're impossible,“ Aaron teased him, but he made no move to break free from Kevin.

His closeness calmed him, and he felt that he had the same effect on Kevin, because he could feel him relaxing beneath him.

”I'll never let you go again.”
“Training is in an hour.“
”Okay... maybe in an hour. But after training, I'll hold you again.“
”It's okay, Kev.“
”I love it when you call me Kev."

And I love you, but Aaron didn't tell him that. He didn't have the courage.

The two lost track of time.
Cuddling together on the couch was simply better than anything else. Aaron felt safe and secure in Kevin's arms. As if nothing and no one could harm them.

The Riko problem still existed and Aaron still had no solution, but he didn't mind if things could continue this way. Maybe Riko had lost interest in Kevin, and maybe the Ravens didn't want him back. Maybe Kevin could switch teams in the middle of the season, and maybe everything would be fine.

Maybe...

The ringing of Aaron's cell phone shattered the idyll, and he would have preferred to ignore it, but after it rang a second and third time, he grumbled as he took it out of his pocket. Two missed calls from Josten and a message: Open the door. Forgot my key.

“I hate him.”
“Who?”
“Neil. The idiot forgot his key.”
“We should get ready for practice anyway.” Kevin moved under Aaron, but Aaron shook his head.
“We still have at least 15 minutes before Andrew picks us up. I'm just going to open the door for Neil.” Aaron stood up and looked down at Kevin. He was perfect, absolutely perfect. Without thinking, he leaned down and kissed him on the lips. ‘See you in a minute,’ he murmured.

As Aaron descended the stairs, he paused briefly. Neil didn't know Aaron was in the room. Aaron usually spent the time between lectures and training with Katelyn or Nicky in the library. He probably thought Aaron had gone back to the dorm rooms with Kevin instead of studying for college.

When Aaron opened the door to go outside and didn't find Neil there, he paused again. Wasn't Neil having lunch with Matt? Didn't Matt have a key? Why did he need a key at all when the door to the building was usually open and so many athletes were constantly coming and going? Neil could have just followed them and then knocked on Aaron's or the girls' door.

Something was wrong.
Something was...

A blow.

Pain.

Darkness.