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Published:
2024-03-30
Updated:
2025-08-19
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209,106
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49/?
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10 Skeletons With 1000 Years to Go

Summary:

Sans has put in the bone work.

For fifteen years, he's raised Papyrus.

Not even counting the time loop.

And now some pretentious ancient bones want to have a say?

Oh hell no.

-

Said "ancient bones" are mortified.

How were they supposed to know the short depressed skeleton was barely two decades old?!

Notes:

A special thanks to my fiancé for beta reading this despite not being into fanfic in the slightest <3
This was written purely for fun, and love of the characters. Hope yah like.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Good Morning Starshine the Earth Says Hello

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

“SANS, WAKE UP!!!”

Eye sockets opening wide, Sans bolts awake, breathing heavy. He grasps his chest, choking back the nausea-inducing sensation of his newly acquired second Hope Point fighting for dear life in his soul. 

For a moment, he’s certain he’s in Snowdin, his brother banging on the door about to tell him they are late for patrol and how excited he is to test a new puzzle. 

It’s snowing and he’s at the door, the Whoopee cushion in his hand his only indicator for how bad this time would be. 

Friend, foe, or B r o t h e r  K i l l e r. . . 

“OR FALL DOWN FOR ALL I CARE!!”

Sans blinks, his breathing slowing as reality sinks in. That isn’t Papyrus. It’s Edge. Papyrus would never speak to anyone like that, let alone Sans. Edge... Edge was an asshole. 

Looking around, he notes the differences. His bed is bigger, on a different wall. He has sheets now, and a window. A window with a view of the sunrise... Which if the bright light filtering through the window had anything to say he missed by a good few hours. 

“I’ll be out in a minute.” Sans calls rubbing his hands over his skull. Welp, no time like the present to get dressed. He starts his floor search for a clean survivor. 

“YOU BETTER,” Edge growled through the door. “IF I HAVE TO SEE THE BABY BONES SIT THERE PATHETICALLY WAITING FOR ANOTHER HOUR, I WILL PERSONALLY STRANGLE YOU MYSELF.”

Sans pauses in the middle of pulling a grey hoodie on - grey, red, green, anything but blue - the same damn blue he wore for dozens of timelines. 

“… Paps is waiting?” He asks, muffled by his own clothing. 

“YESSS.” Edge seethed. 

Sliding the hoody all the way down, he takes a shortcut slipping behind said Spiky Sourpuss. 

Edge was… well. Edgy. 

The big lug of a Papyrus was all angles and spikes of death, from his unnecessarily cleated boots that scratched up the floors to the spikes on his leather jacket’s shoulders. 

He was facing away from Sans, probably glaring at Sans’s door, but Sans could only guess what kind of upsetting and custom shirt he had on today. 

Yesterday, Sans had about choked on his favorite cereal spoon at the sight of “Dare to Dust” proudly printed in fading text. 

Adapting his best casual phalange guns, he clears his throat. 

“Then why you keeping him waiting?” Sans asks, enjoying watching the taller skeleton jump.

Shock waning fast, Edge turned and snarled. 

Huh, today the shirt was white and just said “Bone Knife” in black text. Spooky. 

“Worth it.” Sans snickered, shortcutting to the stairs just in time to avoid the bone attack now embedded in the wall. 

Soon, he’d need to actually start patching the walls, but at this point it was a record of how many times he’s spooked Edge and lived to tell the tale. 

Hopping up on the banister, he slides to the bottom of the stairs. Ten out of ten landing.  Or it would have been if he hadn’t nearly stumbled into another Papyrus wannabe. 

Stretch - to his credit - side steps just in time to avoid Sans’ abrupt landing. Blue, standing behind him, wasn’t as lucky. He snatches Sans’ wrist before he can escape, killing his momentum and holding him firmly in place. 

Shit. One, ouch. Two, ouch again, cuz Blue was strong. Three, fuck, cuz Blue was way worse than Stretch. 

“SANS,” Blue began sternly, a disapproving look in his eye lights. Then again, when wasn’t there. 

Blue was... ugh... like a really bad Papyrus wannabe. 

He was both taller and stronger than Sans - a constant of his alternate selves - and was punch packed with #Magic. So much so that any surface level chips or scuffs in his bones revealed the glow of cyan magic itching to escape. Or as humans nicknamed them, freckles. 

Blue was a freckle-monster of death, and would flex it whenever he could in front of Sans. 

Stretch had once said Blue had had a Battle Body™ like his bro did, but with how much Blue practically lived in athletic gear these days, Sans couldn’t imagine Blue having done anything quite as cool as that. 

Blue liked to look “put together and ready for anything”, as he put it. Personally, the biggest gripe Sans has with Blue was that when Blue would say “Put together”, he would then look at him as the counter example. 

Sure, Paps is like that too, but when Papyrus says that stuff, Sans could see his jest and encouragement for him. Papyrus' teasing was always meant as encouragement, even if it was in his own special way. 

Blue uses Sans like a warning, like Sans is a cautionary tale of disappointment… 

“Nah, Dinner” Sans quips outwardly chill, trying to shrug his thoughts away. 

Blue blinks, his grip relaxing in surprise. “DINNER?”

Having studied the arts of “creeping thineself out,” in the college of insomnia, Sans winks casually. “Maybe later. If you take me to a movie first.” 

Blue recoiled instantly, giving Sans just the time he needed to quickly step away from the two. “Actually, can’t keep Paps waiting. Rain check!” 

Around the corner and out of sight he goes. 

“He’s going to corner you eventually,” Stretch chuckles, suddenly walking in step with Sans. 

Sans didn’t jump, but it was a stars near thing as “Freckle-Monster of Death Numero Dos” suddenly leaned over him. 

Adequately nicknamed, Stretch was the tallest Papyrus in the house. Sure, Edge and Mutt weren’t too far behind in the Jurassic height club, but Stretch was something else. Sans guessed his growth was connected to being provided a healthy dose of magic the other two might not have easily had built up in their harsher worlds. 

As the shortest skeleton in the house, Sans would reluctantly crane his cervical vertebrae to look at Stretch, deeming it practice for when Paps would get that tall. 

Stretch was an okay guy… If not admittedly the worst Papyrus. Yeah, he was supposedly smart, sometimes even critiquing Sans’s calculations on his “fix this damn machine” white board downstairs, but he lacked Paps’ spark. 

Stretch overslept, only dressed in hoodies and lounge pants, had no drive, told awful jokes, was maladaptive to change, and seemingly did nothing else besides worshipped the ground his brother walked on. 

Sans would never stop being weirded out by the fact that there was a version of his bro who was as just as lame as him. 

Keeping his grin genuine at his own internal sick burns, he asked, “And you aren’t helping him catch me cuz…?”

“You two are both adults, figured you’d talk it out like one eventually.” Stretch shrugged, the thinly veiled insult hitting home. 

“I’ll get around to picking up that sock eventually? I swear.” Sans jokes nervously, unsure of what Stretch was getting at. 

Stretch didn’t even bother to change his casual tone or the pace as they walked. “You know damn well it’s not about any sock.” 

“And if I don’t…?” Sans replied getting more antsy over the idea of whatever else he’d apparently fucked up. 

Stretch hmm’d as if thoughtful on the matter. “Then…” he spoke, his voice eerily softer than Papyrus’.

“Then?”

Stretch had stopped walking, his eye lights now cold and full of Judgement. “I guess you’ll find out.” 

After another second of looking at Sans like he was an ant on his brother’s shoes, Stretch shrugs, blipping away in an instant. 

Oh. That’s why Paps hates when he ended a conversation like that.

“BROTHER??? ARE YOU DOWN HERE?”

Sweet Angel. 

Blinking his eye lights back into focus, Sans belatedly realized that Stretch had actually managed to spook him rather good. Not enough that his brotherly instincts didn’t register the sound of his favorite monster, though. 

Checking his hands for any telltale jitters, he sighed in relief. Only steady sweaty bones. 

“morn’n br-“

“SANS!!!!” Not even making it halfway into the kitchen, Sans wished the ground farewell as Papyrus lifted him cheerfully into a spin hug attack. 

Tension melting from his bones, Sans could feel himself go as limp as a rag doll in his bro’s arms. The familial magic so close to his… It warmed his skull to his distal phalanges. 

“I’M SURPRISED YOU ARE AWAKE!” Papyrus cheered. “NORMALLY ON THIS -EER, TOTALLYNORMALDAY, YOU SLEEP UNT-“

Being held up by his arm sockets, magic loose, and Papyrus’ soothing screechy tone. A lullaby as old as time….

“SANS!!!!!!”

Startling awake, Sans blinked his sockets tiredly. “Huh?”

Papyrus shakes his head fondly, gently placing Sans back to the ground. Paps was in a long-sleeved red and white striped shirt today, along with one red glove and one white, showing his bro had mad fashion. 

He half expected Paps to be wearing matching running shorts before remembering that “skinny jeans” were all the hype in Paps’ school right now. Knowing he had forgotten to take Paps shopping for them, he could only guess Fox and Mutt were responsible for the new look.

They tended to constantly splurge on gifts for Paps ever since they met him, claiming it was a “Stripe’s honor” to be gifted luxuries from their betters. 

Or, well, that’s what they’d tell Paps. Fuckers always made sure to leave the bill on Sans’ desk, claiming a “bad brother” fee that left his wallet aching. 

As if sensing Sans’ drifting thoughts, Papyrus made the human “throat clear” noise for attention, striking into his “humble” pose. 

“UNBELIEVABLE SANS, YOU ARE TRULY LUCKY TO HAVE A BROTHER AS GREAT AS I LOOKING OUT FOR YOU.”

Hell yeah he was. 

“So true bro,” Sans spoke, beelining for the coffee machine, surprised to see a fresh pot already made. Maybe Fox made a pot recently and forgot? No, no, that couldn’t be right. 

Looking back, his grin somehow grew at Paps proudly displayed a fresh cup of coffee. It was in Papyrus’ “World’s Coolest Dude” mug, which was odd cuz Paps hated coffee and- 

Sans gasped, realization slowly sinking in. 

“.. n.. no Pap. That’s your mug. You are the world’s coolest dude.”

Placing the mug gently in Sans’ hands, Papyrus looked to be nearly rattling with excitement and joy. 

“YES, BOTH OF THOSE THINGS ARE TRUE. BUT SEEING AS EVERY WORLD’S BEST BROTHER MUG I GET YOU SEEMS TO ALWAYS GET DESTROYED IN AN-” his eye lights narrow - “ACCIDENT...”

In Sans’ defense, letting Red and Edge break the mug so often was a great way to keep Papyrus on his throne of world’s best brother. Sure, they did it to piss him off, but little did they know he’d been destroying those mugs for years. 

“I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAVE DECIDED TO ALLOW YOU ON THIS- TOTALLYNORMALDAY-”

TOTALLYNORMALDAY was Pap’s precious code word for Sans’ birthday. Sans would rather dust than tell him he knew. 

“TO, IN FACT, NOT ONLY USE MY MUG... BUT TO ALSO BE THE WORLD’S second COOLEST DUDE.”

Sans glanced down at the mug in awe. He sipped the coffee his bro had made. It was... so damn bad. 

Papyrus looked expectantly at Sans. 

Suddenly Sans felt twelve again with his tiny seven-year-old bro standing proudly on the smoking stove top, declaring he had made Sans breakfast soup. The milk had been curdled, the shredded wheat burnt, and Paps had tossed pine needles on top for “garnish” because he said he couldn’t find any fruit in the trees around Snowden. 

Smiling fondly, Sans sips the coffee, ignoring the somehow sour unfiltered grounds, reaching up his hand at the same time Papyrus leaned down. 

Years later, the joy in Papyrus’ eye lights remained just as bright, leaving no regret in Sans’ bones as he pats his bro’s skull top fondly. “Good job bro.”

Papyrus, bashfully “NYEH HEH’D” then straightened back up to his 5’8 glory. 

When Papyrus had first shot up like a weed, Sans had forgone head pats thinking his bro would be embarrassed, only for Paps to start leaning down expectantly. Being five inches taller than Sans didn’t seem to deter Paps in the slightest in his tendency to be a cuddle bones. 

Sans snickered into his bad coffee imagining Edge, Mutt and Stretch trying to lean down to Sans’ level. Now if his brother ever caught up to those monsters, he miiiight have to switch to arms pats to save his brother’s spine. 

“SO, WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS TODAY BROTHER?” Papyrus spoke somewhat casually. 

“Hmmm not too much actually,” Sans replied cautiously in case his brother had something in mind. 

“I don’t have a prep shift with Grillbz today otherwise I’d have been up hours ago.” Paps looked happy. “I gotta check in with Alphys to drop off reports though,” Paps looked sad. “-but I could just email,” happy, “I’ve got a laundry shift at the MTT resort,” Sad, “But, uh, I know BP wants hours so I could have him cover.” Happy. 

So Papyrus wanted him to be free today... which would normally be great if he didn’t have to pay the electrician coming out to help rewire the basement after the last “flare up” of the machine that had resulted in Fox and Mutt. 

Shit... he hated being such a bad brother.

“I do gotta do my security job later tonight, and maybe run the stand a bit today, don’t wanna have product go bad.” Which wasn’t exactly a lie at the end. Sure his ‘dogs and ‘cats were monster food and didn’t spoil, but he had learnt the hard way that the human chips he had could go stale if not properly rotated. 

“OH.” Papyrus quickly pulled out his day planner, opened it to a specific page, then proceeded to rip off half a page and throw the rest of the planner in the garbage. 

Guilt, concern, and amusement all fought for control inside him as he watched his brother look decidedly over the paper.

“NO WORRIES TO BE HAD BROTHER. IF POSSIBLE, ALL I ASK IS YOU BE HOME FOR DINNER AND THAT I MAY ACCOMPANY YOU ON YOUR WALK TO THE PARK TODAY.” 

“I.. yeah bro I think I can do that.”

“LOVELY!” Papyrus got up, frantic energy once more getting his bones rattling, “I’LL GO GET READY TO HEAD OUT SOON!!!!” He left the room, only to pop his head back in the door way, “LOVE YOU SANS!!!” 

Oh big guilt. “Love you too Pap...” 

Seemingly satisfied, Papyrus Nyeh’d away. 

At the same time however, a groggy Red rounded the corner looking at Papyrus’ exit with interest. 

Oh. It was his big guilt personified.  

It was like a scene from that dinosaur movie Frisk loved. Red was bigger than him down to the width and strength of his very bones. 

Where Blue was all finely tuned and deadly natural #Magic, Red was a LV brick house, his magic manifesting his physical form into a more durable one with every ounce of LV he had gained. 

Edge technically was also an LV beast, but due to his strict training and fine magical tuning was just less visibly obvious about it. 

In Sans’ opinion though, the sharp teeth and bones should be warning enough that the two brothers could be deadly. Red though… 

Red looked the part of big bad boss monster. Even in his open bathrobe and Flamin’ Hot Cheeto™-print boxers. 

He moved tiredly, like effort was put in each step. 

Sans could hear the “THUMP. THUMP.” movie sound effect of shaking ground clearly in his skull as Red trudged forward. 

“Da’ fuck was all ‘at about?” Red grunted, making his way to the coffee pot. “Nah, wait,” he corrected himself, a giant shark toothed yawn interrupting his own words. “I ‘ont really give a shit,” he grumbled, pulling down his infamous “Blow Me I’m Hot” mug.

Sans had been too busy imagining the Jurassic Park T. Rex roar while Red yawned to really notice what he was doing at first. It wasn’t until Red brought the mug to his teeth that Sans noticed and tried speaking up. “Wait Red I wouldn’-“ 

Red choked.

“Da hell is this shit, ‘nilla!!?!”

Sighing, Sans downs his coffee and carefully puts Papyrus’ mug in the safe zone i.e. sink. This was going to end in a fight.

He could just feel it. Today was going to be his worst birthday yet. 

Notes:

Hell yeah chapter one done.
This fic has been rattling in my brain for months and I'm glad I can finally have it exist somewhere else.
Next chapter update will be up on (4/6/24). I've gotten a few chapters already written out so weekly updates are gonna be rolling for a bit.