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Chapter Text

Nick dreads having to call in a parent. They very rarely want to believe their little loves are anything less than perfect and often go straight to being outraged. They seem to forget that the children need to make those mistakes to learn, and that’s ok. But the parents are usually so defensive they miss the learning element and fixate on the perceived criticism of their baby, and he ends up feeling like the bad guy. He hates being the bad guy.

With Kitty Holden, Nick is even more reluctant to call her parents in. He has a real soft spot for the little reprobate. He’s only been teaching her for five weeks; they haven’t even made it to the first half term break yet. But she’s industrious and tenacious and is frankly stifled by societal norms. Nevertheless, school rules are school rules and she has absolutely bulldozed through them this time, even if the whole situation has really tickled Nick.

He’s asked the school office to contact her parents and request they stop by at pick up time today so he can at least make a show of restating behaviour expectations. He hopes they take it well.

The end of the school day rolls around and the children are dismissed by his TA to the playground for collection. Nick waits for Kitty’s parent to show up, pacing his classroom, straightening up tiny chairs and picking up a multitude of discarded pen lids. His nerves are beginning to churn in his gut. He really does hate conflict. 

A soft wrap of knuckles against the half open door breaks his reverie and he looks up to see two sets of deep blue eyes and two mops of curly black hair poking around the door, one head significantly taller than the other. Oh, God, Kitty’s dad is beautiful. That hadn’t appeared as a factor in his pre-meeting anxiety spiral.

He gives himself an internal talking to. He cannot be perving on his pupils’ parents. He’s always been resolute in gently rejecting the phone numbers pressed into his hands by the school’s single mums. Or snuck into Tupperware containers of baked goods that appeared on his desk with alarming regularity. But this guy was absolutely gorgeous, and exactly his type… No! You cannot shit where you eat Nicholas, no matter how pretty his eyes are.

“Mr. Holden?” Nick offers his hand in greeting. “Thanks for popping in. Sorry to disrupt your afternoon plans.”

The curly haired man smiles and goes to speak as he takes Nick’s hand, but Kitty skips and bounces back and forward in between them, laughing. 

“This isn’t my daddy, Mr. Nelson! This is my Charlie!”

Nick’s confusion is evidently written on his face, because the man shaking his hand giggles. It’s a delightful sound.

“Mr. Nelson, I am indeed Kitty’s Charlie, not her daddy.” Kitty’s Charlie smiles broadly, revealing a pair of utterly adorable dimples. Shit, Nick is in trouble. “I’m her uncle. Michael and Tori, my sister, are away at a speed skating competition in Copenhagen, so I’m Kitty sitting this week. I got a message from the receptionist that you needed to chat?”

Not a parent… does that mean Nick can relax his self-imposed moral code?

“Yes, thank you so much for coming in. Kitty, why don’t you go and get your book and snuggle up in the reading nook while I speak with your Charlie.” And maybe ask if he wants to be my Charlie.

“Is this about the Pee Pounds Mr. Nelson?” Kitty looks up at him, wide-eyed.

“Yes poppet. I said I’d need to speak to your grown-ups, didn’t I?” Nick’s tone is gentle. She’s not a bad child at all. Just a little more entrepreneurial and creative than her peers.

Kitty nods sanguinely and skips off to flop on a beanbag with a picture book.

Nick gestures to a chair next to his desk and Charlie sits down at a right angle to him. It gives Nick a moment to take in the soft-knitted oversized jumper Charlie is drowning in; the tight, ripped black jeans highlighting lean but muscular thighs; and–jackpot–blue, green and white striped converse. He’s fidgety; clearly nervous. Nick moves some papers on his desk and puts some pencils into his stationery pot, just to draw attention to the progress pride flag sticking out of the vessel. He hopes Charlie notices.

“I’m sorry if Kitty has been a handful,” Charlie begins, wringing his hands in his lap. “She’s an amazing kid. She just thinks quite differently sometimes. I always say to Tori that she’ll end up Prime Minister or in prison.” Charlie giggles and then stops abruptly. 

“Shit, sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. Bugger, now I’ve sworn in front of her teacher. God, I’m a disastrous temporary guardian.”

Nick is smiling broadly. He’s charmed already. “It’s ok, honestly. Let me start by saying I adore Kitty. She is so smart and enthusiastic and I love having her in my class. I just needed to flag that we discovered a little black market operation going on that we sadly had to put a stop to.”

“Oh no.” Charlie drops his face into his hands.

“It would appear that Miss Kitty has set up a private members club racket. She managed to convince the boys in our class that the girls bathroom was some kind of mystical venue and not exactly the same as the boys bathroom. She was charging the boys £1 to use the girls toilets, and had recruited a team of bouncers from her friendship group. They stood outside on a rota to keep an eye out for teachers.”

“Oh my goodness. Kitty! I’m so sorry, Mr. Nelson.” Charlie looks mortified. 

Nick drops his voice to a murmur and leans towards Charlie, conspiratorially.

“She’s a seven year old mastermind. Honestly. She had kids lining up to pay to use the girls bathroom and she had kids lining up to work for her operation. And we were oblivious. She was only caught because she did a cartwheel in the playground at first break this morning and 46 pound coins rolled all over the tarmac. She didn’t trust anyone to handle her profits, apparently.”

Charlie can’t help but giggle at this and shakes his head affectionately in the direction of his niece. 

“So, how much trouble is she in? Do I need to get Tori to come home? Because I really don’t want to make that phone call.” He gives a little shudder and Nick wants to reassure him immediately.

“No! I mean, I don’t think so–we’ve handled it. This is just us reiterating acceptable behaviour to her parents. We can’t return the money to the children who paid as most of them didn’t want to own up to being daft enough to pay to use the loo. Especially the ones Kitty told me actually paid to do so more than once. She keeps pretty impressive books for a Year Two pupil, it would appear.”

Charlie laughs loudly at this and slaps his hand over his mouth. Gosh, he is utterly adorable.

“So we’ve decided we’re going to donate half of the proceeds to the school’s chosen charity for the year and the other half is going towards snacks for the end of half term film afternoon next week. Kitty is going to spend the rest of this week's lunchtimes in charge of the buddy bench making sure no one gets left out of playtime as her reparation.”

Nick pauses, then decides he can be a little more relaxed with Kitty’s lovely Charlie. “And I’m going to see what other business endeavours she has up her sleeve so I can get my investment in early. She’s a smart cookie. Seriously though, she has absolutely promised me that she’ll check before she starts any more schemes.”

“Gosh, thank you for being so nice about all this, Mr. Nelson. She’s a force of nature. She will get told off by her mum and dad I’m sure, but I think my sister is actually going to be pretty proud of her, too. We’ll all work on getting her to channel her evil genius ways in a more altruistic fashion, I promise. Thank you for not expelling her.” Charlie leans forward and puts his hand on Nick’s forearm. Nick gasps at the contact and has to try to cover it up quickly.

“Ha! Expelling wasn’t even considered. And please, call me Nick. Like I said, I think she’s awesome. We just need to steer her energy a little!” He pats Charlie’s hand gently and smiles at the other man. He’s sure he sees Charlie’s gaze flick over Nick’s frame, lingering on his right bicep for a moment. If Nick chooses that second to flex his muscle, well that’s his business. Charlie bites his lip in response and Nick wishes they were leaning up against a bar where he could make a proper move, not sitting in his classroom.

“Charlie?” Kitty’s sweet little voice interrupts their mutual admiration. She’s left her beanbag and is standing at the front row of pupil desks.

“Yes, Kitty-Kat?” 

“I am sorry about the Pee Pounds. We’re going to use all my profits to buy some food for the food bank and some snacks for our class party. I promise, I’m actually sorry. Do you think Mum and Dad will be disappointed in me?”

“I think if you’ve said you're sorry and you do a super job for Mr. Nelson on buddy bench duty, then it’s all ok, Kitty.”

“I will Charlie. I know now that, just because I see an opportunity, it doesn’t mean I should take it, right Mr. Nelson?”

Nick bites his cheek, trying not to laugh at hearing his own words repeated back to him by his earnest pupil. 

Kitty is looking at them both in turn and Nick can almost hear her cogs whirring. He has a fleeting thought that he should probably be afraid.

“Mr. Nelson, does that apply to grown ups too? What if a grown up sees an opportunity. Should they take it?”

“Well that depends on the circumstances, Kitty. Usually grown-ups are able to make a judgement call. It’s something you learn as you grow older.”

“Is it ok to help a grown-up to see an opportunity?” Kitty continues.

Nick feels grateful when Charlie interjects.“Kitty-Kat, what are you talking about?”  

“Well, you two keep looking at each other. And Mr. Nelson has a flag like Dad has. Look, it’s on his desk. Maybe he likes boys and girls, or just boys, or likes anyone like Dad? And you don’t have a boyfriend Charlie, and Mr. Nelson is really kind and very nice, so maybe that’s an opportunity for you?”

She takes Charlie’s hand and looks between the two of them, proudly.

Nick feels the blush creeping across his face. He’s embarrassed but lets out a little involuntary laugh at the awkward absurdity of the situation. Charlie has his hands over his face again.

“Well, Kitty,” he says slowly, eventually, drawing his hands down to hold himself around the waist. “Yes, Mr. Nelson does seem very kind and nice, but I’m not sure it’s appropriate for you to be talking about whether your teacher has a boyfriend or a girlfriend right now… and anyway, I may not be Mr. Nelson’s type. So maybe we should go home now as the ground doesn’t seem to want to open up and swallow me, no matter how much I pray.”

Nick wants to shout that Charlie is VERY MUCH his type.

“Sorry Charlie. Sorry Mr. Nelson. I just think you’re both nice, and nice people should be happy.” 

“That’s very kind of you, Kitty.” Nick can see the little girl feels chastened. She was trying to do him a favour. “Your Charlie seems very nice and kind too.” He offers Charlie a shy, lopsided smile and runs his hand over the back of his neck. 

“Maybe, Mr. Nelson… Nick,” Charlie says cautiously. “I should give you my number in case Miss Kitty gets herself into any more trouble in the next 48 hours? Or in case you need me for anything else…”

Nick grins and hands over his unlocked phone for Charlie. “That sounds like a great idea Charlie, thank you. I’m sure I’ll need you for something just as soon as you’re not responsible for one of my students. Friday at 6:30pm, perhaps?”

Charlie dials himself from Nick’s phone and hands it back. 

“Friday at 6:30pm. I’ll be free.”

——-

Kitty stands between the two beaming men and takes a slurp of the diet lemonade that she has magicked up from nowhere. Tiny Niece Magic is a thing, it would seem.

Chapter Text

“Listen, Charlie. This situation can’t continue. I don’t know whether I’m coming or going. I don’t know what to call him. I don’t know if it’s OK to talk to him. I accidentally went to hold his hand on the way to library time yesterday because I held it when you took me to the zoo last weekend. That would have been social suicide, Charlie. You absolutely cannot hold your teacher’s hand once you’re out of Reception Class. But if he’s my sort of Uncle-in-training… well, that would give me a little wriggle room if I forget where I am. So, I need to know what’s going on with the two of you and what your intentions are towards Mr. Nelson.”

Charlie blinks repeatedly at the small demon in a pinafore who’s pacing back and forth in front of him.

“First up, Miss Kitty, is that a Stanley cup?”

“Yes, Charlie. It’s the only acceptable drinks vessel to own right now.” She takes a long pull from the gigantic sippy cup. “Can you get back to my question, please? Mum will be here soon and I’d like to have resolved this situation.”

“It’s bigger than your whole head Kitty. Does a seven year old really need a Stanley cup?”

“I’m nearly eight.” The dead-pan stare Charlie receives from his niece in response serves to refocus him immediately. 

“Well Kitty-Kat, this is a very grown up thing to talk about, really. I’ve never had this kind of conversation with you about previous boyfriends.”

“Charlie, he’s MY teacher. I have to see him when he gets all dreamy and stares out the window and he asks me how you are all the time. And I spend time with you and him on weekends now. People don’t usually see their teacher every single day of the week, you know.”

Charlie smiles so hard at this new information that his dimples become divots.

“He asks about me?”

“Yes. He asks if I’ve seen you and if you seemed happy and if I talk about weekend activities, he asks if you were there. Stuff like that. He smiles just like you’re smiling now whenever he talks about you too. A bit like when Dad talks about Mum.”

“Well, you know Nick-Mr. Nelson, and I are dating. We have been for a few months now. And I really like him. He even came to Nana Jane and Abuelo Julio’s with us for Boxing Day.”

“Yes, yes. But what are your “intentions” towards him?” Kitty makes air quotes, waving her Stanley around and looking increasingly vexed. “I asked Mum and she said I should just ask you. So here I am. Is he your boyfriend, officially? Do you love him yet? Is he going to live in your house? Will you get a dog? Are you going to get married? Can I be a flower girl? If you want me to be a flower girl, I absolutely will, but I have to be able to choose the dress, ok? I have ideas about colours. When you’re married, will you have babies? Because I need to prepare myself to have cousins. Can I call him my Nick, like I call you my Charlie? Actually, is he my uncle? Can he be my uncle and my teacher? I’m ok with him being both. Basically Charlie, you need to tell me all the things.”

Charlie flops down onto the sofa, exhausted from just listening to his niece. He pats his lap and she jumps onto it, tucking herself into his shoulder, sipping from her Stanley.

“Oh Kitty, that’s a lot of things for you to be worrying about! Let’s see if we can figure some of this out. Yes, Nick is my boyfriend. I’m his boyfriend. We’re boyfriends. We haven’t said ‘I love you” to each other yet, but Kitty-Kat, I’ll let you into a little secret if you promise to keep it zipped.”

Kitty dutifully mimes zipping her mouth and throwing away the key.

“I do love him. Very, very much. And I’d like to live with him and marry him and get a dog and maybe, maybe have babies. But not for a little while and I definitely need to talk to him first.”

“OK. Well can you do that then?”

“What? Now?” Charlie asks.

“Look Charlie, I’m not getting any younger. I think I’d quite like to have some cousins and I know that takes time. I’m not really sure how it all works to be honest, especially not when it’s two dads having a baby. But I’d like to be a cousin before I’m 10, so if you could talk to my Nick, that would be good.”

“OK, Kitty. I promise I’ll talk to him.”

“I know grown up stuff is a bit scary Charlie, but my Nick is as mushy about you as you are about him. He gets this soft look on his face whenever I mention you and Mum says he’s “down bad”. So just be brave and say the L word and get on the baby thing, OK? And I think I’ll just call him Mr. Nelson at school and my Nick at home. Do you think that’s alright?”

“Yes Kitty, I think Nick will be really happy to be your Nick.”

“I think he’ll be really happy you love him too, Charlie.”

The doorbell announces Tori’s arrival to collect her progeny. Charlie lifts Kitty to standing and they go to answer the door together.

Tori is standing on the front step, arms folded. Nick is standing just behind her, smiling softly at his boyfriend.

“Found this on my way up the path,” Tori says to Charlie, gesturing towards Nick. “Think he belongs to you.”

“Hi my Nick.” Kitty sing-songs, while holding Charlie’s hand and swinging back and forward. Nick’s eyebrows raise in question to Charlie.

“Hey Miss Kitty. Have you had fun with Charlie?”

“Yes, thank you. We ironed out a few things. He needs to talk to you about some important stuff, so come in. I’m going to go home with my mum right now, so you two can chat.”

“Subtle Kits, thanks.” Charlie laughs, stepping aside to let his boyfriend into the hall. 

“You’ll be OK, Charlie. It’s a done deal. See you tomorrow, my Nick! Don’t worry, I’ll call you Mr. Nelson in school!”

Tori offers a glimmer of a smile and turns to follow her daughter down the path to the car.

Kitty turns at the end and calls to her uncle. “It’s just three little words, Charlie. I’m sure he’ll say it back.”

Nick is absolutely beaming when a shocked Charlie turns to look at him.

“I…” Charlie just opens and closes his mouth in a poor attempt at miming.

“Bye, my Charlie, bye, my Nick.”

Nick waves her off. “Bye Miss Kitty, see you in school. And you’re right. I absolutely will say it back.” 

————-

Kitty sighs happily as she buckles herself into her carseat.

“Been meddling again, Kitty?” Tori asks, taking in her daughter’s expression via the rear view mirror.

“Just moving things along a bit, Mum.”

“Well done, then.”

Chapter Text

“Mr. Nelson?”

“Jeez, Kitty. Where did you come from?”

“I think you and I need to have a talk.”

“OK,” Nick takes a deep breath. “What do we need to talk about? Do we need better jigsaws for wet break? I’ve already explained why we can’t have a Head Pupil to work alongside the Head Teacher, even if you would do a very good job, so I’d rather not go over that again. If it’s another petition, it’s absolutely Ms. Heaney’s turn to deal with it.”

Nick’s brow is furrowed. Heavy rain and high winds on a June day feels like someone is out to get him. The kids are always more feral when they’re cooped up inside instead of being able to burn off some energy.

“It’s really a ‘my Nick talk’, not a ‘Mr. Nelson talk’, but you’re always with my Charlie when you’re my Nick, so now is going to have to do.”

“Kitty…” There’s a warning edge to Nick’s voice. He adores this little girl beyond measure, but she does strike fear into his heart on occasion when he has no idea where she’s going with something. 

“I know, I know. We’re at school. I’ll keep it… what’s that word you always say?”

“Appropriate, Kitty.”

“I’ll keep it ‘appropriate’.” She makes air quote marks around the last word. 

Nick can’t help but wonder if that’s even possible with this brilliant little menace. 

“I wanted to talk about taking turns.”

“Yes, taking turns is very important. Both for fun stuff and less exciting stuff like tidying or helping.”

“I’m glad you agree. Because it’s your turn to go first with my Charlie.”

Nick doesn’t know where to look. He’s almost certain that Kitty isn’t talking about what he’s thinking about, but with her, he’s never 100% sure.

Very reluctantly, he asks what she means.

“Well my Charlie has been very brave and he said ‘I love you’ first and he asked you to move in together. I know he needed my encouragement, but he was still very brave.”

“Yes, Kitty, he was brave and I’m so pleased he was.”

“So now it’s your turn to be brave, isn’t it?”

“About what, Kitty?”

“Well I want you to be my Nick officially and the clock is ticking on the cousin thing. I’m eight now. So I think it’s time for you two to get married, don’t you?”

“Oh Kitty. I am your Nick already, poppet. We don’t need Charlie and I to be married for me to think of you as my niece.”

“But you might forget about me when I move up to Year Three. You won’t be my teacher anymore and I’ll only get to see you if mum and dad need you to look after me. But if you get married, then we’ll all officially be family and I’ll be able to see you two all the time.”

Nick’s heart contracts. Poor little Kitty. 

“Kits, I will never ever forget about you. Year Three is only down the corridor, we’ll probably see each other all the time. But maybe we can talk to your mum and dad about you coming to see me and Charlie for tea after school once a week or something?”

“Yes please. But also, I think it’s still your turn to be brave. I want my Charlie to be happy and I think he’d like a husband. Wouldn’t you?”

“Well, yes, of course I would. But we haven’t even been together a year, Kitty. Getting married is a very big decision and you shouldn’t rush it. I don’t want to push Charlie too soon.”

“Listen, Nick, my dad says ‘when you know, you know’. So do YOU know?”

Nick thinks of the number of times he’s thought about proposing. About that solid, gleaming platinum ring he saw in the window of the jewellers and how he pictured it on the slender third finger of Charlie’s left hand. It was quite fast, maybe. But Kitty and Michael are right, aren’t they?

Nick replies, almost to himself, “When you know, you know.”

Kitty nods once at her uncle- slash -teacher and gives a hint of a smile. 

“Right, thanks for your time, Mr. Nelson. I’ll leave it with you. Good talk.”

And Kitty bounds off to play with her little tribe of friends, leaving Nick to stare out the window at the pouring rain, with the softest smile on his face. 

————-

“Kitty, Charlie and Nick are on facetime. They want to talk to us.” Tori calls up the stairs to her daughter’s room. 

“Oh! Nick’s finally taken his turn then.” Kitty says, skipping down the stairs and into the kitchen. 

Nick and Charlie’s beaming faces fill the iPad screen and Charlie is holding up his left hand to show off the glinting sheen of his new engagement ring. Kitty looks up at her mum.

“Wow. So ready to tie the knot then?” Tori says to her brother and soon-to-be brother-in-law.

“Called it.” Kitty says, grinning smugly.

Chapter Text

Chapter four - Bells and Bubbles

“And we really couldn’t end our first speech as husbands without saying a huge thank you to the tiny little menace who looks like butter wouldn’t melt today in her beautiful, sparkly flower girl dress,” Charlie Nelson-Spring beamed at his niece from behind the top table, as he squeezed his brand new husband’s hand.

“She chose that herself, by the way,” added Nick Nelson-Spring. “Along with helping us choose the colour scheme, flowers, cake and most importantly the band. Apparently if they couldn’t play Paint it Black by The Rolling Stones AND Brutal by Olivia Rodrigo, she wasn’t interested in booking them.”

The hum of laughter filled the reception venue and the newlyweds held out the hands that weren't joined together and gestured for Kitty to stand up. 

“As most of you know, we would never have met if it hadn’t been for Kitty’s industrious, creative, entrepreneurial spirit,” Charlie continued. 

“Yes! Please be assured that the bathrooms here are entirely free to use today. And the bar too!” Nick winks at his newly official niece. 

“Kitty-Kat, you lovely little matchmaker, “ Charlie addressed her directly. ” Thank you for seeing what could be and nudging us to make it real. You are a wonder. We love you. We ask you all to join us in one last toast, please, to the tiny hero that brought us together. We are so grateful you’re a minx. To Kitty!”

The wedding guests collectively raised their glasses and chimed “To Kitty!”. 

Kitty grasped the hem of her rainbow ombre sequin dress and bobbed in an approximation of a curtsey, beaming at the attention. 

After a round of applause, Tori patted her seat and encouraged her to sit back down, passing her daughter the huge white Stanley cup decorated with a metallic gold swirl of letters reading Flower Girl/Wedding Planner , before cheersing their diet lemonades together. 

Tiny Niece Magic had got the job done. 

~

Later, while twirling on the dance floor, trying to turn herself into a pastel human disco ball, Kitty spun around and found herself face to face with a crouched down grown up, who grinned at her. It was one of her Charlie and her Nick’s best friends. 

“Miss Kitty, my guy/girl/legend! I’m Darcy, they/them/menace. I’ve been wanting to get acquainted with the local meddlers! Top tier match-making there my mini-menace. I think we could teach each other a thing or two. If we put our heads together, we would be unstoppable demons of chaos. What do you think? Want to help me make some magic?”

Kitty’s eyes were wide. This person talked really fast. But they seemed like they could be fun… 

“I had promised my uncles I would be on my bestest behaviour today...” Kitty bit her lip. It was so tempting to make a little mischief sometimes and Nick and Charlie always smiled when they talked about Darcy. Surely they wouldn’t get Kitty into trouble. 

“Well, what I have in mind is a lovely surprise for your uncles… you know how we weren’t allowed to use confetti today cos it’s so messy?”

“Yes. That was so boring. Confetti is super pretty.” Kitty’s brow was furrowed. She had been deeply unhappy when her wish for confetti poppers had been denied.

“Exactly, my little Partner in Crime. Want to help me make their goodbye a little rainbow-y and gay? I promise there will be no lasting damage done.”

Darcy held their hand out in front of them. Kitty looked around to find her mum, who raised one eyebrow, winked and then smirked onto her straw.

“OK Darcy,” Kitty said, taking her new friend’s hand. “I’m in. What’s the plan?”

~

“Ladies and Gentlemen, Gays and Girls, Theys and Thems!” Someone had made the error of allowing Darcy the microphone. “The time has come for our beloved Mr and Mr Nelson-Spring to leave us and begin their honeymoon. My new best friend Kitty and I would like to invite you to grab a rainbow pot and make your way outside to say goodbye to them in the queerest way we are allowed to.”

Kitty handed out rainbow covered pots of bubbles to each of the guests as they passed her and turned to see them form a messy, joyous guard of honour to see off the husbands.

As the guests began to blow into the plastic wands, filling the air with shimmering bubbles, Darcy clicked a button to turn on a dancing spotlight which transformed the bubbles into magic prisms of colour… a cloud of round rainbow bubble confetti falling gently around them and popping and disappearing.

Kitty twirled wildly, her curly hair whipping around her face, popping any bubbles they made contact with. It was like rainbow snow.

A delighted Nick and Charlie made their way through their loved ones and the bubbly farewell, calling out goodbyes and thank yous and messages of love. 

“Kitty!!! Last job!” Darcy whisper/shouted to their menacing mate. 

“Oh! Nearly forgot!”

They both run either side of the vintage Figaro, a pastel blue, vintage, soft top getaway car that Nick and Charlie had hired, opening a door each for the new husbands. They grinned at each other as Nick took his seat and turned the key in the engine. A sudden whirring sound started above the rev of the old engine and Kitty ran round the car to stand with Darcy.

Nick and Charlie exchanged looks of bewilderment at the bizarre noise, but Darcy and Kitty just giggled. 

“Kitty…” Charlie drew out her name in a chastising tone. “You promised! No mischief at the wedding!”

“Wait my Charlie! This is magic not mischief! It’s a happy surprise!” Kitty skipped and hopped on the spot, holding Darcy’s hand and swinging their arms together. 

Within seconds, streams of more bubbles, thousands of tiny ones, flew out of the air conditioning system, straight into Nick and Charlie’s faces, up and over their heads and all over the car. The newlyweds coughed and spluttered at the onslaught of soapy bubbles bombarding their faces. Thank goodness the weather had been mild enough for them to opt to have the top down. 

“Darcy!!!!” Nick yelled.

“Best get going Nicholas! Go spread your bubbles of gay love! Drive safe!” Darcy replied, entirely unrepentant about the chaos they had caused.

Guests had surrounded the back of the car to wave them off and were wafting the bubbles around, laughing and dancing amongst them as they fell. 

“See! Bubbles equal queer joy!” Darcy laughed, satisfied that their little plan had worked so prettily.

The flow of bubbles slowed to a gentle breeze and, as Nick started to drive, they dissipated more quickly, leaving the car in a pretty cloud of tiny rainbows.

Nick and Charlie were laughing loudly, resigned to their bubbly journey. They drove slowly down the wedding venue’s drive, waving their goodbyes and trying to keep the bubbles out of their mouths. 

Kitty turned to Darcy, pleased with that fun little bit of mischief-making. 

“Thank you for letting me help Darcy. That was so pretty. What shall we do next? Want to help me get a cousin?”

Chapter Text

Chapter Five - Bump talk

“Up until now, I’ve been the only grandchild-slash-niece-slash-nephew-slash-receiver-of-presents. So you’re very lucky I’m not a jealous kind of girl.

“It’s been pretty cool because it feels like everyone just loves me quite a lot and they show me how much with cool stuff and treats and days out. I haven’t had to share with anyone else.

“But I’ve got to be honest with you. As nice as all that attention and stuff is, it can be a bit lonely when I’m at a big family get-together and I’m the only kid. My dad is super fun and my Charlie always plays with me, but they get distracted and go back to being grown ups. I’ve been on my own for nearly NINE years! 

“My Charlie is very, very nice and kind and funny and really knows how to look after curly hair. So if you have curly hair, you’ll be fine–he’ll never brush it out on you, I promise. My Charlie is going to be your Daddy. And my Nick, who I used to call Mr. Nelson–we’re on first name terms now–is going to be your Papa. He’s very kind too. And super patient. I think I’ve probably done you a favour there, to be honest. Apparently I’ve tested it out quite a bit over the last two years and he’s never got super shouty like some teachers do. 

“Now, pay attention for this part, because I was a bit confused when I first found out that you were actually going to be real. I’ve been manifesting very hard for you. At the moment, you live in my house, with me and mum and Dad, but soon, you’ll live with my Charlie and my Nick. Technically you actually live in my mum. Which could be a bit strange, but apparently it’s the best gift a sister could ever, ever give a brother, so I choose to think of you as a lovely big present my Mum is giving my Charlie. And it’s not even his birthday. Anyway, I’m talking to you through her tummy, so the acoustics might be a bit weird. I may sound louder when you actually meet me face to face.

“Anyway, you’re my Cousling. Half cousin, half sibling. But mostly cousin. Because my mum is going to be your Tori, not your Mum. Got it? It’s OK if you’re confused. You’re concentrating on breathing underwater right now. It’s a “very modern family set up”. I think we’re going to deal with questions about this situation until we’re ancient – like 27 years old at least. But until doctors manage to make boys have babies, this was the best way to get a Nelson-Spring baby. And mum says it’s one and done, so you’d best be a cool baby, because I’ve waited a long time to have someone to play with. I will totally share most of my toys with you, but if it’s okay, I’d rather not share my mum. You get two dads though. I only have one.

“Now, when it comes to my toys, I’m going to say it’s best if you leave my Jellycats alone. I’ve been collecting them for a very long time and will buy you one of your very own because I don’t really want you to slobber on mine. I know you’re going to be slobbery and not fun for a while. But you’ll be cute so I think that’s okay. So we’ll give you your own Jellycat and you won’t touch mine.

“But we can play Lego together when you’re big enough. And I’ll play baby stuff like playdough and help you with easy-peasy jigsaws. And I can read you stories every single time we’re together, until you’re big enough to read yourself. I’m a very good reader and do voices and everything.

“I think you’re a very lucky baby to be joining our family. And you’re very, very lucky to have a cousling like me to teach you everything I know. I have had to promise Charlie and Nick that I won’t tell you about Pee Pounds or my meddling or share my lemonade with you until you’re at least seven. You’ve got to drink a lot of milk before then. 

“I’m excited to meet you little cousling. Thanks for chatting and for giving my mum a big bump that’s nice to cuddle up to. I’m going to go now as I’ve just thought of some new names for you and I should tell my Charlie and my Nick before I forget. But I’ll see you at bedtime because it’s Mum’s turn to read to me tonight, so you can hear the story too.”

—————-

Tori looks across the lounge to Michael, who’s scouring eBay for sad looking ornaments that remind him of their friends. 

“Is it wrong that I hope this baby comes out at least a little bit like Kitty?” She asks, rubbing her large tummy in a way that might pass as affectionately.

Michael smiles broadly. “I hope they’re exactly like Kitty. Nick and Charlie absolutely need baby Spring magic in their lives.”

Chapter Text

Charlie crosses his feet at the ankles and raises his knees slightly so he can gaze more closely at the tiny bundle resting on the valley of his legs. Nick’s arm tightens around his shoulder, perching half of his butt on the edge of the hospital bed and Charlie feels a kiss pressed into his curls. The midwife who’d looked after Tori had been kind enough to show them to an empty birthing suite so the new dads could both have some skin to skin time with their son while Tori was getting cleaned up, and hopefully some very well-earned rest.

Charlie hadn’t wanted to leave her so soon after she’d been through hell for him, but she had shooed the three of them out, beaming in a most un-Tori-like way (gas and air truly had some magical properties). She’d assured him she’d be grateful to not have her brother and brother-in-law in such close proximity to her exposed vagina any longer than absolutely necessary. And that she’d be by to meet her nephew when Michael and Kitty came in.

“He’s so perfect, Char,” Nick breathes, his voice choked with emotion and awe.

“He is. More than I ever dreamed possible.” Charlie looks from their son to his husband. “God, Nick. I never thought I’d have this. Never thought I'd find a you. Never dared to hope I’d ever get to be a father. Going to spend the rest of my life thanking Tori. She’ll never have to pay for a lemonade ever again.”

Their little man squirms slightly in the loose swaddling, his dainty little nose wrinkling in his sleep, before his face relaxes into peace again.

“Look at his perfect nose, Char. It’s so sweet. His skin is so beautiful. I think it’s like yours, baby. Smooth and soft and perfectly unblemished. He’s not going to be all freckly and splodgy like me.”

“First of all, husband of mine, I adore every single adorable freckle on your unreasonably delicious body. Second, no babies have freckles, remember? Tori doesn’t have a sunbed in her womb. No UV, no freckles. I googled it.”

“You googled if our baby would have freckles?” Nick is incredulous.

“Yes, Mr Nelson-Spring. I happen to want our little boy to have your freckles. And your gorgeous brown eyes. And your quirked-up little smile. And your beautiful, beautiful heart. If he is a miniature you, I will be an extremely happy daddy.”

“Now who’s the sap? Do you hear your silly daddy, mon petit chou? I think you actually have his hair, my little love. He’s too busy staring at your perfect little face to realise your hair is dark and wavy. You are going to be so handsome, little darling. So handsome, and so smart if you’re like him.”

“He is the most wondrous thing I've ever seen, Nick.”

They both sigh in contentment, unable to wrest their gaze from their hours-old son.

“Hang on, did you just call our baby a cabbage?”

Nick laughs, gently. “Mon petit chou? It’s a French endearment, love. My Grand Mere used to call me that when I was little. And we don’t have a name for this bundle yet, so he’s my little cabbage for now.”

Charlie hums in assent.

“Nick, are you sure about giving Kitty the final naming decision? You know that we could be calling our little baby Stanley-Jellycat-Glitterboots-Bubbles for the rest of our lives?”

“We promised her, Char. We wouldn’t have each other or this little angel without Kitty-cat. I think we can trust her. Her baby name list wasn’t too crazy. She’s 10 in a few weeks. She won’t stitch up her cousling. Or us.”

A gentle rap on the door prevents Charlie answering. The door swings open to reveal a positively fizzing Kitty, a lemonade-drinking, hospital-gowned Tori and an absolutely beaming Michael, who’s holding a big blue gift bag and a 3D Stork-shaped helium balloon that’s bobbing around his head

“My Nick, My Charlie!!! We have a baby!!! This is the best day of my life.” Kitty stage whispers, holding on tightly to her mum’s hand and hopping from one foot to the other in glee. Michael is just about managing to contain his excitement, but he looks like he could join Kitty in the hopping at any moment.

“Want to come meet him, Kits?” Charlie whispers back, as Nick moves around from the side of the bed to first fist bump Kitty and then hug Tori and Michael. Charlie tears up when he sees Nick embrace his sister, obviously murmuring his endless gratitude into her ear. How were they going to repay her? They just couldn’t possibly. Nothing would ever be enough.

“He’s really, really small!” Kitty breathes, standing on her tiptoes beside the hospital bed to finally see the face of her cousling.

Nick appears again behind Kitty, lifting her under her armpits to carefully deposit her on the bed next to Charlie, while Michael pulls up a chair for Tori.

“Well done, Mum,” Kitty says, turning to beam at her mother. “You baked this one perfectly. He is the cutest thing I've ever, ever seen.

“Hi baby. If you wake up, you will finally get to see my face! I know you already know my voice. I’ve been talking to you through Mum’s belly for months and months and months. And now you get to see me in the actual world.

“Can I touch him, my Charlie? His little hand is so sweet. Do you think he’d like me to hold it? Maybe he’s a bit scared to be in such a big space when he’s used to a cosy little jacuzzi in Mum’s tummy.”

“Of course you can Kitty,” Charlie carefully shifts the sleeping bundle into his arms so that Kitty can reach more easily. “Be super gentle though, ok.”

“Of course I will! Honestly Charlie. I’ve been waiting for a cousin for nearly ten years. I’m not going to break him on the very first day I have him.”

Charlie grins at the outrage on Kitty’s face, watching the expression soften as his niece reaches to stroke across his son’s curled fist with the back of her index finger.

“Hey, wakey wakey little one. There’s so much for us to do! I’ve got a present for you and we need to give you your name! You need to be awake for that or else you won’t remember what you’re called and I’m not going to keep reminding you.”

The tiny boy stirs more in Charlie’s arms and Nick moves to release the blanket and free his other little arm. The baby stretches and opens his eyes very slowly.

Kitty kneels up, bending over so she’s just a few inches from his face.

She quiets her voice even further and gently says “There you are baby. I’m so pleased to meet you. We are going to be best, best friends. Want your present?”

Kitty turns to Michael expectantly and he passes her over the blue gift bag he’d been holding on to.

“I’ll open it for you as you can’t see very far yet and you’re not going to have control over your arms for another 4 months apparently.”

Nick grins at Charlie. He’s not the only one who’s been googling.

“Now baby. I’m not going to be around as much as I’d like to look after you and protect you. I have to go to school unfortunately. So I’ve brought you something that’s soft and squishy and cosy, so it’s good to cuddle with, but it's also fierce and maybe fire breathing, so it’s going to look after you whenever I’m not around. You can pick its name too.” Kitty pulls a large, pale blue cuddly dragon from the bag, the spines along its back each a different colour of the rainbow. It’s at least twice as long as the baby.

“Dad let me get the biggest one they had because you’re going to grow luckily. It’s your first ever Jellycat, baby. So now you won’t want to steal mine. Cos you have one of your own. Dad bought me the keyring to match it, so we have the same dragon!”

“Thank you so much Kitty,” Nick says. “I think he loves it. And it’s so special that you’ve given him his first ever toy.”

“Can I give him his name too? Now, please? I’ve thought really hard and I think I’ve picked the perfect one.”

The adults in the room exchange worried glances.

“Just remember Kitty, that a name is for life usually so it’s a really big deal.” Tori interejects, looking at her daughter over the top of her straw. Most people wouldn’t see any difference, but Charlie detected a tiny hint of anxiety in his sister's voice.

“Mum. You named me after a cuddly toy. I’ve got this, I promise.” Kitty turns back to her cousling.

“Ok Baby. I thought about this loads and loads. I’m going to be saying your name A LOT, so have to make sure I like it. I thought about Augustus, because I LOVE Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, but obviously we already have my Charlie, so I thought maybe we could call you Augie. But it’s quite hard to say and I don’t love it, so NEXT. Then I thought about Mario, because we all play MarioKart so much - I’ll teach you soon, don’t worry. But we’re not Italian at all, so that doesn’t work.

“Then I found out that names sometimes mean something, so Daddy helped me to look up names like that. And, Baby, I’ve picked one that means what you’ve made us. I did worry for a while that it might be a better name for a cat, but I don’t have a cat yet, so I decided you can have it.

“Welcome to our family baby Felix. Your name means ‘happy and fortunate’, which is what you’ve made us. Especially me. So hello Felix. I hope you like me as much as I like you.”

Charlie and Nick stare down at their son, both trying the name out for size.

“Felix Nelson-Spring. Little Felix, mon petit chou. How lucky we are to have you.”

“And our Kitty-cat… Thank you. How lucky we are to have you, too.”