Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

There isn’t much around where I live, just woods full of bears and lumberjacks. No offence to the lumberjacks but I’ve definitely mistaken them for bears before. Big, burly and hairy. To be honest, the other folks that live around here aren’t much better. 

The town on the outskirts of the forest was a mining town when it was founded; the families that came here all those years ago are still here. A rough bunch, but the community is pretty tight knit. Everyone knows each other, probably the only reason this part of the USA even still exists. Nobody would choose to live here. You’re born here and you’ll probably die here.

We’re the only auto-repair shop in these parts, so we’re kept pretty busy with the locals, even if we do live in bear land- AKA: the forest in the middle of nowhere. That’s where I work. I’m not paid unless you count food and a place to sleep as payment. 

I literally live in a workshop made out of old concrete. It’s kinda wet, cold in the winter and the kitchen is basically a corner of a garage full of cars. My bedroom is probably the best in this whole place, at least it doesn’t leak.

The boss lives here with me too. His name is Daniel; he’s an old codger that took me when I was a baby. He’s not exactly dad material, even if he tries to be. He sure does nag me like one though.

Which is exactly what he’s doing right now. I’m doing my best to ignore him; he’s not making it easy, I’m telling you right now.

"Sparky? Sparky! Are you even listening to me?" 

I sighed, forcing myself to look up at Daniel, his grizzled unshaven face in its normal annoyed scowl. His balding dome for a head gleamed in the sun, which I may need sunglasses for if I keep staring at it.

"Yeah... I heard you the first six times you said it. And the other gazillion times before that..." I grumbled; I decided that I didn’t want to be blinded by his head anymore; back under the hood of the old Polo I’m working on.

"Then why did you sneak out again! Will you get your head out of there and look at me! This is serious!"

I begrudgingly pulled out my head again, this time opting to stare at the ground. I just wanted Dan to shut up. It didn't work of course; he just continued to rant.

"Why did you sneak out? What if you got caught?"

"I wasn't gonna! It's just an old parts shop, with an old deaf man. He wouldn't have heard me if I banged an oil drum in front of his face." I shot back trying and failing to keep the annoyance out of my voice. Sure, that probably sounds bad, but right now I’m really pissed off. 

"What if he saw you!"

"Then he would have seen a girl paying for some solder wire. Hell, you do that all the time! You leave some money and a note on the side if he's not around and that's never been an issue for you !" I snapped, blue eyes narrowed as I shoved up my welding goggles to the top of my short messy black hair.

"That's different! You aren't meant to be seen! Nobody but the boys and me are supposed to know you exist!" Dan retorted, I glanced up at him, catching his face dropping to one of exhaustion. "Look kid. I know it sucks but we-"

I took a deep breath, jutting out my chin, turning away as I crossed my arms. I didn’t wanna deal with this stupid subject again, I was fed up with it. “Why? I don’t get it”.

”Sparky… you know the reason…” He lowered his voice, placing a hand on my shoulder. It didn’t make me feel any better, if anything it felt patronising! I wasn’t some dumb kid anymore! I was twelve! Plenty old enough to be treated like an adult.

”Because… we don’t want you to be taken away…”

"By who, Dan!? The old man at the auto-shop!? The ranger that comes by to make sure there's no bears in our yard!? I don't know anyone else! I just know you, Steve and Russell! That's it!" I yelled, throwing my arms in the air, the frustration was so evident in my voice.

"Look, we'll tell you when you're older. But right now, you're just a kid. It's something you just-"

"-Can't deal with!" I interrupted. What is there to deal with? Why can’t you just spit it out?! 

Dan pinched the bridge of his nose, the dark circles under his eyes growing by the second. What was his damage? Why was he getting annoyed when I was the one stuck here; can’t even leave to buy solder wire like a normal human!

"That's not it! You know it isn't! This is because we want the best for you and not knowing is the best!"

I stamped my foot, hunching over not wanting to look at him. I’m not dealing with this shit anymore! 

Huffing loudly, I really hated how this made me feel, I was so sick of it, so I stormed off. My heart was pounding, my head was light and fuzzy from all the anger I was feeling.

Truth was, I just wanted to understand; I didn’t want to feel so pissed off, but the adults made it so damn hard. All I wanted was a simple answer.

I wanted to know the reason- The real reason. Because ‘being taken away’ just didn’t cut it anymore, maybe when I was five, but not now. 

Who was gonna take me away? Seriously who? I didn’t know anyone else, nobody else knew me, I’d spent all my life in this forest. 

Where did I even come from? 

I kicked the occasional stone as I trudged towards the workshop, the big old block of concrete that made up the building wasn’t anything special, not with its rusted garage doors or the main hub where we did most of our auto repairs. We were lucky if it didn’t flood every winter or turn into an ice cube.

I sometimes wondered what normal people lived like, probably not like me. I bet they didn’t get woken up by a drill every morning, if it wasn’t the drill then it was Russ forgetting to lower the car lift enough. 

I mean I had seen people on TV; however Dan was adamant that those people’s lives weren’t very realistic, it was played up for drama and humour. Not that Dan had any clue what normal was anyway, he lived in a garage in the woods and ate dry cereal like a packet of chips.

I spotted Steve: he was lent against the wall, clipboard in hand, most likely running the numbers for this month. A couple of cars sat to the side of the workshop where he stood, all repaired and ready for pick up.

"Hey, Sparky. You have another slanging match with Dan?" Wonderful, he’s sticking his nose into other people’s business as per usual. 

Steve was Dan’s Nephew; His mother was killed in a car accident when he was fifteen, so he got taken in and taught how to repair cars to earn his keep. Admittedly, he’s pretty shit at the job. He just doesn’t have the brain for it. Now running the numbers, taking calls and basically running the entire business was what he was really good at. 

He’s a nice guy, late twenties, tall blond, built like a twig. His face kinda reminds me of a cat, what with the big green eyes, sly smile and the fact that he’s knocked over a cupboard to piss off Russ. Honestly, I can't blame him for that.

He turned towards me, eyebrow raised as I shrugged off his question, instead hopping onto the bonnet of a red Ford fiesta.

"Well, once I'm done with this, you wanna help me pick out something for us to fix? Goin’ to the junkyard. Doubt anyone would see you."

I nodded quietly. At least Steve is cool. He actually lets me leave the yard unlike someone dumb called Dan. 

"Alright! By the way, how's that Polo going? Have you managed to fix the gearbox yet?" Steve asked. Good! A nice change of subject. I don’t wanna think about the old man right now. He was still on my list of things I wanted to yell at.

"Yeah, almost. Thought it was just an old fried wire. Got it out and was about to replace it, then I noticed the alternator was making a noise... then Dan came along."

"Ah. Fair enough. You know, he's an old worrywart. He's just looking out for you."

"Well, maybe , if he told me why I gotta stay hidden, maybe he wouldn't worry so much," I mumbled as my nervous tick began to run its course, which was the ever helpful ‘Pick off my tan skin until my arms aren’t tan anymore’.

"Sparky... c'mon-" Steve looked up from the documents he was holding and frowned. "Anyway, why don't you go get the tow-truck ready? I'll be there in a minute, just gotta finalise this, okay?"

“Yeah,” I half mumbled under my breath. I was hoping I didn't sound too pissed off; Steve didn’t deserve it. I slid off the bonnet of the car, plodding in the direction of the tow-truck.

Sure, I can’t drive, not that I haven’t tried. But sadly, my legs are too damn short to reach the pedals, and I can’t see out the front window properly. And yeah- It’s illegal too. Being twelve sucks ass. Can’t do anything without an adult, even though I don’t exist, why the hell do I need to follow the law?

Last time I checked, not existing meant that laws shouldn’t affect something that isn’t real. At least if that were the case, then my life would be a lot more fun.

Then again, working for nothing was also illegal, and I’d been doing that since I picked up my first spanner. Did this count as child labour? Or could I count it as a hobby? As much as I like to joke about it, I do actually love fixing machinery.

It’s something that comes so naturally to me, ever since I can remember I’ve been helping out. There was no forcing me into doing engineering, I just took to it, no pressure needed. Everything just clicks perfectly into place; I look at an engine and it just makes sense? I don’t really know how to explain it. 

For example, all I need to do is read about a problem once then it’s stuck in my brain forever. I wish I could say that for everything else. If it’s not a machine, then I don’t get it. And I’m not even joking about that.

How to take an engine apart, clean it all, then put it back together. Easy!

Make scrambled eggs? I can’t even remember if I need a frying pan or a saucepan. Or something else entirely. That’s basically everything in my life. If it’s not a machine, then I don’t understand. It’s so goddamn frustrating!

It didn’t take me long to set up the transport, I’ve done it so many times before that I go into autopilot. Honestly doing something brain numbing like this is what I needed, all this thinking didn’t help my brain make happy chemicals. And needed those happy chemicals right now.

I climbed into the cab and waited, drumming my fingers on my threadbare seat. The tune I was tapping was a new record I’d heard on the radio recently, it was catching- too catchy. I was starting to wish I had an off switch, the song whirling around my mind was getting annoying and I wanted it to shut up.

After a long ten minute wait of musical brain torture Steve finally got in next to me. About bloody time, I was really debating smashing my head into the dashboard. He smiled, which I forced myself to return. Again I wasn’t annoyed at him; he didn't deserve my bad mood and anyway he was taking me with him.

"You ready to go?" 

I nodded enthusiastically, the less time we were on the yard the better, I needed to just stare at some junk to make me feel better. Good old junk is the best kind of thing to fix, nothing like building up something that was broken and making it new again.

Steve hit the gas, we flew forwards and then immediately he punched the brake making me fly around like a blue bottle in a jar, if it wasn’t for the seat belt I’d have been smashed like a fly too. Emphasis on fly.

Shaking off the slight whiplash we exchanged confused looks as the unmistakable sound of the yard gate screeched open. That thing needed oiling again, holy shit my ears. 

“What the hell is that?” Steve took the words right out of my mouth; another tow-truck rolled in, much larger than our puny little four-wheeler. Behind it was the definition of junk , a rusted pile of metal with blown out tires, peeling red and blue paint, a smashed to shit chassis, the engine exposed to the light by the crater of a hole in its hood. 

Or in simple terms a Freightliner FLA semi-truck. Or at least the remains of one, how was that thing still holding itself together with all that damage?

We got out of our much less impressive vehicle, I peered around the corner of our truck whilst Steve walked over to see what was going on. Hiding was like a built in instinct for me at this point; I mean I’m not shy, it’s just- I’ve never spoken to anyone other than the guys that work here…

Also I’m not supposed to exist. Which makes it hard to meet new people, which I’d totally be down to do. Seriously, I'd love to meet new people! I could talk to them and uh- what else do people do?

What do kids my age do? 

Hahaha… Anyway! There was some business dude who had appeared along with- no surprise: Russell. And right on time Dan was screaming; his shiny bald head gleaming brightly as he stormed out of the garage, his hands balled up into tight fists which were promptly thrown into fit of angry waving.

The business man was tall, bulky with a nice tailored suit. He stunk of corporate greed, his thinning hair was smothered in hair gel, did he really think that made him look good? Adults are weird. His face was roundish, he reminded me of a bulldog, wrinkles and all, plus the five folds of skin hanging over his eyes did not help his image.

Boy was I glad I was over here, the shouting was so loud. There’s nothing worse than a bunch of greasy adults fighting over money or whatever they did. It was probably money… It's always about money with grownups. Or at least when Russ was involved. He likes money way too much, like dude should marry a dollar bill.

I couldn’t really make out what the argument was about, too many overlapping voices, but if I had to guess Dan was refusing to fix the truck and I wouldn’t be surprised if Bulldog was trying to bargain with him. 

Dan on the other hand did not bend easily, I couldn’t blame him either, how the hell were we gonna fix a truck made in the 80’s? The parts needed for its repair would cost an arm and a leg and that was if there were any parts left to be sold.

Although somehow I don’t think that would be a problem for a guy like Bulldog, he radiated “rich man”, his suit alone could probably buy up our autoshop. 

Eventually it quieted to mumblings, where I was crouched wasn’t exactly the optimal listening range. My legs were aching too, you’d think all the crouching I did around cars would make me immune to the pain. Apparently not. My knees hate me.

I couldn’t believe it when the familiar sound of grinding struck the air as the metal chains were unfastened from the tow truck, the heavy thump of the semi dropped to the ground. Risking a look from my hiding spot I could make out Bulldog climbing back into the cab of his vehicle. 

I pulled myself back against our much better tow truck’s wheel as the sound of gravel rumbled underfoot as Bulldog left the yard. The loud gates screamed shut, locking out the outside world once again. Good riddance Bulldog, hope you don’t come back!

I got up, pulling my knees straight until they popped. What was I 30? Jeez why do I gotta have old lady knees? 

I turned towards three remaining men; I quickly decided against going over, the argument had started up again and it was way more vicious than the one with Bulldog. The distinct voices of Dan and Russell clashed, with the occasional sprinkle of Steve mixed in.

  Nope! I am not going over there.

I slipped past hoping to go unnoticed by the quarrelling men, but like a dumbass I wasn’t paying attention to my surroundings, only halting an inch from the door of the ‘new’ crappy truck. I’d been more focused on what the adults had been doing, than whatever was happened to this thing.

It was dumped around the corner of the warehouse right where the back door was. Great, how the heck do I go in now? No way am I going around the front where everyone is yelling.

I finally looked up at the truck about to swear at it for its inconvenient placement when my whole body froze up. For some reason I could not move, I was rooted to the spot like my feet were tied down, my arms went stiff and so did my back. I was locked in place. All I could do was stare.

I could not stop myself, my feet moved on their own and to be honest my brain wasn’t doing much to stop them either. I just wanted to go closer. My fingers lifted up in a trance like state, my own sense of self felt so far away now.  What was I doing? Where am I? Who am I?

Then the pain hit, the shock ran up my arm as my fingers made contact with the bumper. I couldn’t do anything as the charge tore through my entire body, knocking me down. I hit concrete, yet that was nothing compared to the pure agony of the electricity shaking my entire being! I couldn’t draw any air into my lungs, I couldn’t breath! 

Darkness! Everything was dark! I can’t see! My eyes, somethings wrong with my eyes! No wait! It’s the world, it’s night? 

The blackness didn’t last long. Lightning crashed from above, brightening the surrounding briefly. No, not lightning; those were explosions! I was disoriented but I quickly realised that I was running with someone strung over my shoulder, the shape of the body was no more than a shadow. 

I was shouting something, the voice that came out of my mouth wasn’t mine however, in fact I couldn’t even understand what I was saying. Another flash and I was thrown through something hard, the person I was carrying groaned. Already on my feet I desperately tried to pull them free of the rubble. 

I could hear screaming, they were coming from all sides, it hurt- It hurt so much! I’m sorry- I am so so sorry for everything. I’ll fix it, I’ll do everything in my power to fix it! That I vow.

The metal beneath me began to crumble. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t do anything.The collapse drew closer, I was waiting for it to pull me in, I deserved it. 

I fell into a pit of darkness, of course that’s when my body started doing what I wanted again, the guilt faded and now all I could do was panic as I dropped faster and faster, flailing for my life. Slamming my eyes closed; bracing myself for the oncoming ground beneath me, the air was now brightly lit with gold even with my eyes closed I could sense how intense the glow was.

I hit the ground! 

I wasn’t dead? I wasn’t hurt either. How was that possible? I’d fallen from- god knows where. Blinking a few times as my eyes adjusted to the sudden brightness; I staggered to my feet, shaking off the sensation of almost getting splattered across the floor like an ice cream. It didn’t do much, I still felt like I was airborne, but at least I wasn’t dead I guess.

I finally looked up from my daze in the distance was a large building made of gold, the roof was domed and much like Dan’s bald head shone in the sunlight. Surrounding it was a city, most were tall, sharp and pointy, although there were a few exceptions, some structures were more square and angled. One thing they shared however was the material that they were made of: Metal. Everything was metal even the ground. Super shiny metal, brandished silver and gold, even the floor was buffed.

"Iacon...before the war. It's nothing but ruins now. Times were simpler back then, but things had to change, although I wonder if I could have done things differently. Would our home still be alive?" I was startled by a voice beside me, the same voice that had come out of me early, only this time I wasn’t the one speaking. I could understand it too. 

My gaze slowly drew itself upward, my eyes felt wide as if they’d become two golf balls. I could feel my hands trembling, my knees started to knock together as I got a good look at what the voice belonged to. Or rather who’s…

I was staring at a freaking 20ft something robot, it was probably even bigger than that? 30ft? 40ft? A gazillion feet? I didn’t care, that thing could make me into a pancake with its finger! I backed up only my shaking knees weren’t down with helping me get away, instead they decided to lock up and make me trip. A loud clang rang out as I fell on my ass drawing the robot’s attention. 

The robot stumbled a little as it made eye contact with me, it’s blue optics widening, I could feel myself melting into a puddle of sweat and anxiety on the spot. SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SH-

It was saying something but I couldn’t hear it over my screaming, was it my brain screaming or was I actually screaming out loud? Shit if I knew ? Great! Good to know that my fight or flight instincts are shit! I don’t do either! Move! Holy fuck move Sparky! 

The robot crouched down reaching out to grab me, still I did not move, everything but my stupid screaming brain didn’t work! I’m gonna die!

It’s fingers curled around my body lifting me into the air. Can I go back to falling from the sky again? I liked that better. 

It held me there- that was it. It was just holding me? 

We stayed like that for a while, I don’t know how long for, long enough for my brain to stop screeching and started taking in new information. The new info wasn’t all that helpful, just gave me a good look at the robot better and that was about it. Nothing useful; like I donno how to escape!

Nope, but I can tell you that the robot was heavily armoured, the outer plating was red and blue, it’s face was like that of a man, kinda? But with more segmentation allowing it to make facial expressions, at first it had been wearing something like a metal mask thing that covered the lower half of it’s face, which had slid away at some point to reveal a mouth. 

The inner workings of the bot were black or silver, lots of mechanical wonders moving in sync with its movements. Lots of bits and bobs that I really wanted to study closer, like how did something this big move so quietly? How did it move at all? Who made it?

“Are you calmer now little one?” He smiled, it wasn’t scary surprisingly. I felt myself relax a bit, actually he looked kinda friendly, in a sad kinda way. Not that it’s sad to smile, I mean he looked sad, really sad. The tone of his voice was deep, gentle and oddly comforting. But there was just a lot of sadness there.

He placed me down, at some point he’d sat on the ground, I suppose craning his neck just to look at me was a problem for someone his size. 

Frowning I tried to say something but nothing came out, only some pathetic squeak. Scowling harder I attempted to speak again, still nothing. Why couldn’t I say anything?

He raised an eyebrow at me as I tried and failed again and again, eventually he placed a finger on my shoulder making me look up. Frustrated I shrugged at him, pointing towards him and than the city hoping he understood what I was asking. He paused as if he was surprised, his eyebrows were drawn upwards and his optics grew wide. 

“You do not know where we are, nor whom I am?” I nodded despite his answer sounding more like a question, folding his arms over his chest? Window pecks? Whatever robots have.

“And you can not speak?” Sighing now kinda annoyed at that. What did he think I was miming for fun? It was clear that I couln’t speak, or at least it was clear to me!

“That cannot be possible… you are a human, aren’t you?” I stopped dead, the annoyance disappeared immediately. It struck me, like it physically hit me, I drew my hands up without thought. I was just staring at each individual finger, examing the folds of my skin, the lines in my palms. I am a human? Why can’t I answer such a simple question? Of course I’m a human… What else would I be? 

“You do not look convinced…” I couldn’t pull my eyes away, the more I stared the more my skin looked fake, the more my fingers looked disjointed as if they weren’t entirely attached, they looked more and more segmented, pale, inhuman, metal… 

They twitched, the mechanism rolling over each other as the digits moved, twisting where ever I wanted them to. These weren’t my hands. Where were my hands? WHERE ARE MY HANDS! THESE AREN’T MY FINGERS! WHAT HAPPENED TO MY HANDS!?

My whole body recoiled, my instincts telling me to flee from the arms that were attached to me. The mechanical fingers were flexing as I tried to push them away, all they did was clash together metal against metal. I threw myself back, desperately trying to escape the limbs that were following me, stuck to me, moving wherever I moved.

GET AWAY FROM ME!

I was screaming, gasping for air, gagging as if I’d only just started breathing now. Lights flashed wildly as I stumbled disoriented, failing to get up; tears running down my cheeks, vision so foggy, too blurry to make out anything but shapes! Where am I? 

Dragging myself upwards, I was being held still, flailing from my capture, grappling onto anything nearby, trying to hold myself together. The echo’s of a man's cries rattled inside my brain, morphing from unrecognisable to one that I knew well. The hum of loud static dissipated as I could finally make out what was being said.

”SPARKY! SPARKY! IT’S OKAY! YOU’RE OKAY!” 

I went still; my vision cleared of the haze, the dark shapes that I had been trying to escape from were the pillows on my bed, the one who’d been holding me down was Dan, he clung onto my shoulders keeping me steady. The weight was grounding, it brought me back into the real world. I was in my room. I was in my bed. I was safe.

Swallowing the lump in my throat I gathered my shaky thoughts together, piecing what I could remember from the embers of my “dream”. It was a dream, right? It was all just some fucked up nightmare… of course it was- what else could it have been? I wasn’t a robot. There were no highly advanced robots here, unless you count the ones that ask you about your life insurance on the phone. 

It was just a dream. When did I fall asleep? What even happened this morning?

I couldn’t recall a single thing past breakfast time. Frowning, squeezing my temples with my thumbs I grappled for anything, anything at all. It was just a huge blank. If I didn’t know any better I’d have thought I was going crazy, that the morning hadn’t happened, that I had just dreamt up having breakfast.

“W-what happened?” My voice croaked, it felt rough, dry and sore; rubbing the back of my neck with my hand hoping to release the tension from my joints, felt like I’d been run over by a bulldozer. 

“I- Sparky…” Dan whispered, his wrinkles seemed worse than normal, they dragged at his whole face making him look older. His brown irises were overcast by his heavy brows, deep black bags of exhaustion weighed down his eyes. His normally smooth, well shaved egg shaped head was now covered in stubble. 

He pulled me into a tight hug, I was completely stunned, Dan had never hugged me. Not even when I was a little kid, the most I ever got was a pat on the shoulder or the occasional hair ruffle.

Pulling back to stare me in the eye, he smiled, it was such a startling sight. Dan didn’t smile, well not like that anyway. Sure he smiled, but it was normally a huge mocking grin that was full of tough guy energy. Not like this one at all. This one was pained, bitter, the corners of his mouth didn’t reach up far, no twinkle in his eye- only dim light… 

“I thought I lost you, I’m so glad you’re alive…” Was the only answer I got, but somehow; for once in my life I didn’t need anything else. Just knowing that someone was glad I was alive was enough.

Chapter Text

So, I’ve been asleep for almost a week. Yeah, I’m shocked too. When I was told, I sat there for a good five minutes just processing that information. The whole time Dan was in a daze, staring, watching my every movement. Normally that would have weirded me out, I’d have told him to stop- But now? I just couldn’t bring myself to say it.

Dan had never acted like this before; He’s always been this tough stoic old man, kinda grumpy but unfazed. He didn’t break down. He just kept going no matter what. However, to be the cause of his change, to be the reason he looked so- broken… I hated it. 

We clash a lot, that’s what we do. We argue, we fight… Then we get over it and everything goes back to normal. This time I wasn’t so sure; this wasn’t an argument. This was all my fault; I didn’t know how to fix it. 

I don’t want Dan to look that way, I don’t want him to look like some worried old guy! I don’t like it. I’d rather he be angry at me, yell at me! Anything… Anything but this.

Dan turned to face my direction, his tired, somewhat glazed expression held my gaze, he still had that frantic air about him. As if I’d turn into a pile of ash if he looked away. Since I had woken up, he hadn’t let me get out of bed, he was convinced I was sick.

Only one problem with that, I didn’t feel sick, in fact I didn’t feel much of anything. There was a certain numbness that had come over my body. It felt like I was wearing an air tight suit. My sense of touch was oddly disconnected; to be honest, everything felt like that; each breath I took was an effort, no autopilot for oxygen intake for me. Despite being out cold for days, I wasn’t hungry or thirsty, my arms and legs weren’t stiff from lying still for nearly a week. 

I tried to assure Dan that I was okay, that I wasn't sick, and I had never been, which was true in more ways than one- I didn’t get sick and I mean it. I’ve never had the flu, caught a cold, or even had a bad stomach. 

I’d always assumed it was because I lived in a forest and I only ever interacted with three people, there was no reason for me to get ill. That or I just had a strong immune system. Hell, Dan had even told me that when I asked about it when I was younger. But now, suddenly he was treating me like an unexploded bomb.

Just cause, I got sick once, then passed out for a bit, suddenly, he thought I was fragile?!

Huffing, I broke eye contact, a bubble of annoyance surfaced, not enough for me to say anything. I knew Dan wasn’t doing great, admittedly I’ve never been good at keeping how I felt shoved down for long. However, I wasn’t a complete dumbass. I knew now wasn’t the time for a spat. 

In fact, I wasn’t even sure he would even fight back in this state, the way he had been acting was too soft and subdued, there was no fire there. He just looked worried; that was enough to keep my mouth shut. 

I didn’t wanna look at Dan. His whole face felt wrong, not enough frowning or scowling, instead his brows tugged at his skin into wrinkled half-circles. The bowl of untouched soup on my nightstand seemed more appealing to stare at, the spoon’s handle was bent at a slight angle letting it hang rather well over the edge. He had brought that soup in about an hour ago. Normally, if I refused to eat, he’d have yelled at me until I at least took a bite. This time he didn’t. He just left it there. 

I wished he had yelled at me. I knew how to deal with that situation, at least. All this quiet, tense atmosphere was doing my head in. I wanted things to be normal, I didn’t like this! I didn’t know how to act! If anything, this was just giving me more anxiety! This made me question things; what things you may ask? Oh, you know, normal people things, like how to communicate without shouting, how to ask normal shit! Shit like: “How are you?” “Are you feeling okay?” “I’m sorry for making you feel awful.” “Please don’t look like that...” 

Every single time I tried to form those words, nothing came out, because I didn’t know how to express it. Believe it or not, being raised with only three people around doesn’t help you to develop social skills. All you learn is how to communicate with what you’re given. And for me? That wasn’t a lot. The closest thing I have to people skills is shouting about how shit my life is, yelling about being kept a secret or some car jargon nobody but a mechanic understands.

And the worst thing about all of this was that I was aware of how bad I was at telling people I cared. I didn’t want to be. I wanted to tell Dan about my nightmare, about how scared I’d been and how glad I was that he was here with me now. I also wished I could make him feel better, to really reassure him that I was okay…

I get so mad and frustrated being so different. I don’t go to school, I don’t have any friends, I don’t have parents, not even a normal house. I live in a garage with a grumpy old man that found me when I was a baby. I fix cars, I learnt to read from car magazines and to do maths from a guy that looks like a cat. Nothing about me is normal.

Big surprise, it gets to me; I don’t get to be like other twelve-year-olds, no curfew or homework, I get to play around in a massive junk yard all day and do what I enjoy. You’d think that would be super cool - it is - but also it isn’t. I’ve never had a birthday party. I’ve never eaten fast food or gone to the park. I’ve never even met another kid. 

It gets lonely…

This is my whole world. I don’t exist. I don’t know why. There are times that I think Dan is making this all up, that he doesn’t care about me. It’s not like he shows it. He acts like I’m nothing but trouble. Truthfully, this is how I’ve felt about him for a long time. I would keep thinking that if it wasn’t for now. He does care about me. You know what? It’s scary to suddenly realise that the one person who I thought hated me, never hated me at all.

Someone who didn’t care wouldn’t have kept me. And they certainly wouldn’t look like a dead man walking, because the kid they took in went into a coma… 

Grimacing, I tightened the grip on my arm as I fought myself, fighting to form the words I wanted to say. Say something! At least say thank you! 

Dan sighed, finally standing up from the bed. I could feel his burning gaze on my back. I tried to lift my head up, to meet his eyes, but I couldn’t. All I was able to do was continue to inspect the bowl. Without a word he left my room, closing the door behind him with a soft click.

It was then that the corners of my mouth crumbled into a U-shape. Still clutching my arm, I could vaguely feel my nails biting into my skin. There wasn’t much pain, just a dull ache. An ache that mirrored how my heart felt. I curled into myself, sobbing silently into my pillow.

That’s one thing I’ve never really done, cry. My thing was getting angry. I preferred to be angry. At least it was easier to deal with, kick something, scream, go for a walk. How could I kick away crying? It was so much worse; I couldn’t control the tears they just kept falling, no matter how much I tried to shove down these shitty emotions they were a constant buzz in my head. My nightmare replayed over and over, what I wanted to say to Dan was there too, belittling me, telling me how pathetic I was.

I’m not sure how long I was there for, long enough for my nose to be stuffed up and my eyes to feel like balloons. I hated this! I HATED THIS! Heart pounding, head spinning, I attempted to calm down, to breath and to block out these annoying self-deprecating thoughts, nothing seemed to work. Although in hindsight this wasn’t nearly as bad as what was to come. And it sure did come all right…

At first, I thought it was just Dan and Russ fighting, which wasn’t unusual, I could hear raised voices all the way inside my room. It wasn’t the first time that their arguments had travelled through the paper-thin walls. Because of that, I wasn’t too bothered by it. In fact, it was some normalcy that I was desperately hoping for, to me it was comforting in a strange kind of way.

Sniffling, I rubbed away the gross sleep and tear mixture that were at the corners of my eyes; then I went still listening in to whatever the slagging match was about this time. I’d say that was a good distraction from this whole crying like a baby thing I’d been doing.

That soon changed when I heard a gun go off. To be honest that wouldn’t have bothered me much either. I often heard guns going off in the forest. Hunters weren’t allowed where we lived, never stopped them from trying. Either way, most of the time the noise was enough to scare off bears.

This one however sounded different, don’t ask me how I could tell, I just could. It was much louder, clearer, and more importantly, close!

I bolted upright, wiping my eyes with my sleeve. I was wearing the same t-shirt and pants as I’d put on the day of my “accident”. On the floor were my overalls were still covered in oil and dirt. I quickly pulled them on, my tool belt still hung from the waist, which could come in handy. Snatching my goggles from the nightstand I shoved them around my neck.

Taking a deep steadying breath I crept to the door, cracking it open just enough to peek out. The hallway was dark - nothing new there, the light bulb had blown six months ago, and nobody had replaced it yet. That was probably a good thing. I could just make out some movement at the end of the corridor. I didn’t recognise the shape of whoever was standing there. 

I wondered whether I should just close the door and hide in my closet. Yet I couldn’t stop worrying about that gunshot I had heard. What if it was Dan or Steve? What if they needed help? What if they were- SHUT UP BRAIN! THERE’S NO WAY!

Steeling myself I was about to take a step outside of the safety of my room when I heard a knock at my window; I froze in place holding on to my breath. 

“Sparky” That was a voice I knew. I felt the air leaving my body as I sighed in relief, it was Steve.

I hurried over, shoving away the curtains to open the screen window. Steve stood outside. He was dirty, his skinny frame seemed more breakable than normal, his large eyes were even bigger. If this were any other time I would have made a snide comment about his appearance, that urge was completely overwhelmed by the sheer joy I had to see him.

”Steve? Are you okay? What’s happening?” Oh, wonderful, now I can talk, but earlier on I couldn’t even form a coherent sentence… I rolled my eyes at my own stupidity. 

He didn’t answer, only gesturing wildly for me to climb out and stay quiet. Throwing a quick glance over his shoulder, he turned to me again, now panicked. Without warning, I was practically dragged through the window frame by the collar of my overalls. I had no choice as I hit the ground, my arms blocking most of the impact; that wasn’t even the end of the man-handling either. The next second, I was being hurled over Steve’s head and onto his back. 

I barely had time to process what was going on. The yard was barricaded with vehicles I didn't recognize; there were men in military uniforms scattered all over. Some of the cars that were normally kept neatly stacked by the gate were in pieces, as if they’d been thrown about by a wrecking-ball. 

It quickly dawned on me what was happening! This was what Dan was always so scared of; we were in trouble. Why? No idea. But this was it… The day he always said would come, had come. We were in danger. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. on one hand, great, the old geezer wasn’t crazy. That also meant that he wasn’t crazy!

And oh goody! It wasn’t the deaf old man from the parts shop that was after us or the bear ranger. Nope! It was the freaking military! You know the crazy thing is it never once crossed my mind that it was the government that would be the ones after us. I donno why, it just seemed too farfetched to me. Like why would the military be interested in us? A bunch of Rednecks living in the woods. Weren’t there millions of us all over the world?

We were running towards the old truck that had zapped me; for God’s sake, why that one over the other hundreds of vehicles in the yard? It had to be the one that torched my brain when I touched it. 

Huh… Now I remember what happened that day. Weird.

The door swung open, and I was tossed inside. A second later, Steve landed on my back as he dove into the cab, screaming at the top of his lungs to “UNCLE DRIVE! DRIVE!”

I was thrown forwards as the vehicle hurled itself from first gear to a thousand. Someone caught me under the arms just before my nose went into the dashboard, pulling me backward, being belted in without warning just as we hit the metal wire fence surrounding the yard. It didn’t have much resistance to stop us as we sailed past it. 

Shaken slightly, I tried to get my bearings, panting, sweating, my head span so fast. Quick flashes of Steven sat bolt upright looking mortified, Dan leaning over a steering wheel, harsh grimace dug deep into his wrinkled face, trees on either side of me flew by, a mud road making our ride bounce even more.

“WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING!” I roared over the sound of wheels driving over the mangled metal of the fence, I could make out cars hard on our tail from the rear view mirror. Dan slammed on his brakes, forcing us into a skid allowing us to just about avoid a tree in our path. One of the military guys wasn’t so lucky! We left behind a smoking wreck. Our pursuers ignored their fellow army dude and continued after us.  

“I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING!” Steve agreed, his voice having taken a bit of a higher note. He still wasn’t beating the cat allegations. He clung to me, which, to be honest, would have bothered me if this was normal. This, however, was not normal, and I was quite happy to let him use me as a stress ball. 

I’d never realised how good a driver Dan was until he was outpacing a bunch of professionals in a truck. A truck which had been missing part of its engine block mind you.

“At least the truck was good for something. It got us out of there,” Dan said calmly, completely ignoring us.

RUDE! How can he be so calm right now?

“Guess? The only way to fight fire is with fire, or military grade with military grade. Can't believe I let Russ convince me this was a good idea,” Dan spat. I quickly put together what he was talking about, because of course I did. It was about a machine. I was apparently too stupid to understand anything else.

If it was something that complicated, how was this war truck thingy fixed so fast in less than a week. The amount of damage this thing had was insane, it shouldn’t have been able to start, let alone outmanoeuvre vehicles twice as small as it. Then again, what the hell did I know? I still wasn’t all there. I think I’d left half my brain back in my bedroom. I was just about catching up on what had transpired like ten minutes ago.

Although he was still skipping out on the explanation me and Steve actually wanted, I still had to add to this not so useful conversation, because my brain is dumb, and I also have an unhealthy obsession with learning more about machines. 

“How come a Bulldog man had a war truck?” Again, about this I could talk. Anything remotely important, I couldn't. I wish I could punch myself in the head and make it make sense!

“Russ made a deal with this “Bulldog” guy, got the truck from somewhere illegal, and now it's our problem. The engine is nothing I've ever seen. It's completely different. That's why it can drive up an incline like this. Or at least I think so… I didn’t even know if it could. I just took a chance.”

“Wait, you didn’t even know this would work?” Steve wheezed through his teeth; he looked like he was gonna cough up a hairball.

We went over the verge of the main road, hitting the gas. We zoomed past a little old man on his scooter, straight over the concrete and into the trees, this time climbing up an even steeper incline of muddy grass. 

At this point, I was starting to question how we were even going up what was essentially a wall made out of mud, grass and trees. What was this thing? An Olympic climber with wheels?!

I became aware that Steve was screaming, I can’t say I’d even noticed until he yelled a bunch of swears into my ear canal. Although I don’t think he was trying to get my attention, he was just reacting to us being shot at. 

“ARE WE BEING SHOT AT!?”

 I announced helpfully which got me an even more riveting answer from Steve.

“YOU JUST NOTICED! WHAT ARE YOU, BLIND!?” 

Yeah, I deserve that… 

It was only then that Dan piped up, his eyes still glued to the window, a bead of sweat rolling down his chin. His skin had taken on a colour similar to chalk white, his wrinkles even seemed to have developed the texture of chalk too. 

 “Y’know, I always say you ain’t old enough to know what happened? Well, I think it’s time you knew. Don’t think I got much time left.” 

What he said barely registered as I realised the reason for his pasty look; just under his armpit, blood was starting to soak through his shirt. It wasn’t obvious at first because the injury was facing the driver door, not to mention Dan wasn’t showing any signs that he was bleeding everywhere.

“Uncle Daniel! You’ve been shot!” 

Steve gasped, having only just seen the injury as well. He clamped his mouth shut with his hand, a look of absolute horror written all over his face. I don’t think my face looked much better either. In fact, I could feel my eyes prickling, my jaw suddenly felt a lot more wobbly causing my teeth to chatter.

 “Dan, you’re bleeding…” I blurted out, my voice sounded way more freaked out than I thought it would, making me grasp onto the fact that I was indeed panicked. I think I’d been flipping out this whole time now that I noticed how raspy and uneven my breathing was, how much sweat had built up on the back of my knees, even that my fingers were dug deep into my legs, stiffly holding myself upright.

“We need to get you to a hospital!” Steve yowled from beside me. He appeared to be hyperventilating, his eyes were bloodshot, his mouth was agape. Dan made no attempt to answer Steve, instead pressing on until we hit the bank where the forest ended. 

We were at the old quarry, nothing but dirt rolled before us, the walls of hacked away stone pushed shadows into the centre of the empty space, we continued straight on. The people following us had gotten too far behind to see, I could still hear them in the distance.

“I think, we lost ‘em for a bit. Bet they’ll go around the other side, try an’ cut us off at the road up top. Good thing we ain’t goin’ out.”

 Steve turned to Daniel, opening his mouth to once again tell him to go to the hospital, or that's what I would have said anyway. But, he was cut off by the old man’s gruff voice.

 “Don’t worry ‘bout it. It’s not as bad as it looks… Now listen to me...”

Steve's eyes were tightly shut as he held his head in his hands. I reached out to awkwardly pat his back, which I got a bit of a smile for. At least the gesture was well received, I think?

Dan took a deep breath, drawing my attention back to him. The rise and fall of his chest didn’t look right; it jittered and jolted every time he exhaled. But I listened. What choice did I have? 

 “A’lright here it is… That night, I remember there were men in the woods near the yard. I’d been seein’ em all day. Looked like they were lookin’ for somethin’…donno what it was, but they looked hella suspicious-”

He jammed his foot onto the gas pedal hard, forcing the truck to pick up more speed. I didn't know where we were headed, all I knew was we were headed deeper into the canyon of mined stone. It was hard to concentrate on what was being said, when all I could think about was the growing pool of blood coming from Dan.

“-Figured I should make sure they weren’t doin’ anything dodgy; I’d heard stories of them government types settin’ up shit that don’t belong in a forest. Y’know stuff that could cause a fire or somethin’. I wasn’t gonna get involved, then I overheard ‘em talkin’ about some superpowered energy source; didn’t like the sound of that an’ thought I should head back home. Didn’t wanna get shot cause they thought I was trying to steal whatever they were lookin’ for-”

Swearing, we swerved away from an oncoming army jeep, the soldiers inside peppered us with bullets. We ducked down, however to our surprise the windows didn't scratch. Lurching into the cars coming up on our right, we barrelled through them, tossing them aside. The crunch of metal was overwhelmingly loud as we flattened whoever tried to get in our way. I tried to block out the thought of the people driving those cars and what was happening to them.

I looked over to Dan who was leant forward, clutching the wheel hard making his knuckles white. The blood loss was getting to him, yet for whatever reason he continued his story. I’d always wanted to know the truth. Not like this. Not while Dan was dying! 

 “-Then I found you Sparky.” He was smiling, it was genuine, his eyes looked glassy as if he were reliving the moment. 

He looked happy. 

I wanted him to stop. I wanted this all to stop!

“-Sparky, you ain’t human. I don’t know what you are. When I found ya, you were just this tiny metal blob thing with this sparky kinda aura ‘round ya. I wasn’t even gonna go near ya, then this light came out, hit me right between the eyes. Knocked me clean out. When I came to… you were just there. Just a baby. Normal lookin’ baby. You started screamin’ yur little head off and I remembered them men… I figured you were the power source they were lookin’ for. An’ well, you were just- you were a fuckin’ baby. Ya looked like one, screamed like one and smelled like one. 

I couldn’t bring myself to hand ya over to folks like that. I donno what they’d do to ya. But I knew I couldn’t leave ya to get nabbed by em. At first, I wasn’t even gonna keep ya, was gonna hand ya over to my sister ta look after, then she died and Steve came to live with me an’ well, I figured what was one more bra-”

Explosion! That's genuinely the only way to describe it. Inside the cab, all three of us were thrown airborne; the world tipped upside down, shards of glass flew in all directions, air being knocked out of me in one quick whoosh, the roar of fire so close, the heat licking my face. I couldn’t hear anything, just a rush of white noise hissing.

There was no pain… It was like I was watching a movie outside of my body. None of it felt real.

I felt wholly disconnected from reality, the world slowed down like a DVD put in slow mo. The orders being fired off at us were no more than echo’s bouncing off my limp body, the words being said made no sense, the people coming at us from all sides ran as if through thick mud, slowing their movements to a crawl.

We were surrounded. 

I don’t know when I hit the ground or even when I’d been pulled from the blazing truck cab. Dirt was in my mouth, the stone beneath me was probably cold however the numbness didn’t allow it to reach me. My cheek was pressed into the gravel, I had a vague sense of weight on my back holding me down. I think someone was screaming? Or that could have been the static ringing in my ears?

Flashes of light lit up the area, green blurs of colour mixed with red became visible each time the air was lit. The taste of iron rolled over my tongue, each individual speck of dust raining down on me was detailed, every sound hit my ear drums sharply causing my head to ring. 

The weight was gone, no longer pushing me into the rock. Staggering to my feet, I felt a hand grasp me by the arm. pulling me along, I followed; my eyes were once again hit by dazzling lights. Confused and dazed, I was flung to the ground, this time my knees halting my skid. It didn’t hurt, I don’t think it did. I wasn’t sure of anything.

“~~~” My face was pinched together by two hands, forcing my face upwards until I was looking at someone. Who? My vision was shaky, shivering lines of white scrolled over the thick static. But as soon as I became aware of it, the grainy rolling white faded bringing all my senses back in one overwhelming crash of emotion. 

“SPARKY PLEASE- C’mon please…” 

Steven was clutching my face, holding my gaze, watering green eyes were staring right at me. The mud smeared on his forehead was red, soot covered the bridge of his nose, and his lip looked raw. Was he bleeding? 

We were backed into a corner, the only source of light was coming from a single opening, although soon I realised it was a tunnel, railway tracks ran beneath our feet. We were in an old mineshaft. 

Stunned, lying just a foot or so from me was Dan. He was on his back, heaving heavy breaths. Crawling to his side, his eyes slid up to meet mine with a bit of effort before managing a soft grin. 

“Hey Spark… Sorry ‘bout this-” He coughed gagging on the bubble of red swelling at the edges of his mouth. “ -wish I coulda kept ya safe for longer…” 

He reached his hand up to meet my shoulder. I hunched over and took it, pulling his arm to my chest. 

“C’mon D-Dan… don’t- I- I promise I won’t go off on my own again… So- don’t go.” I was choking on tears, the lump in my throat was huge I couldn’t swallow, my lips quivered barely allowing the words to escape my mouth. 

 “I want you to know this ain’t your fault. An’ Steve- thanks for puttin’ up with me all these years-” 

With one final shaky sigh- 

The man who had taken me in and raised me was gone.

All I was left with was regrets…

Chapter Text

I’ll be honest, what happened to Dan really messed me up for a long time. I don’t want to think about what happened, I would rather shove it down into a nice mental box, lock it forever. Life doesn’t work that way; these things have a way of worming their way back into your thoughts.

There’s sooo much “worming” too! Nothing stays in that lockbox for long, it always finds a way out again. One of those “worms” was the fact that he told me not to blame myself. Guess what? I still blame myself, but- I suppose at some point I did come to terms with it.

Are there things I would have done differently? Of course. The things I know now; there’s so many ways I’ve thought of that could have saved Dan. 

Hindsight is a bitch, because that’s just it. It’s stuff that I didn’t have any control over, I didn’t know anything, at that time there really was nothing I could have done. It sucks and it hurts like hell, sometimes I feel so lost… 

There are so many things I wish I could have said to him, lots of things that I should have said to him. Every single day, I think of something new. A lot of those questions I had for Dan were never going to be answered. It’s funny, back then all I wanted to know was the truth. Now I think I would have asked him what his childhood was like, what he did as a teenager, why he decided to become a mechanic of all things.

Most of all, I kick myself for never telling him thank you. 

Hindsight really is a bitch…

When I think about Dan, there’s two ways it will go: Either I’ll remember something that I thought was annoying, but now missed whatever that annoyance was, or- much more likely - recall the day he died. That day was burnt into the core of my being. Sure, the moments just before he passed were bad, however the time just after were somehow worse.

My recollection is pretty fuzzy, still there are a couple of things that are clear as day. Like my shaking hands, the sensation of being choked by my own snot and tears, the white noise rumbling loudly in my ears, my heart pounding until my brain felt like it was going to burst.

I could still feel his body slowly dropping in temperature. The image of his glassy brown eyes staring up at me while there was a frozen smile on his face. His blood soaking into my hands as I tried to shake him awake, the horror as it dawned on me that he was gone. The sheer volume that escaped as I screamed until my throat was raw, how I couldn’t stop the pain in my chest from tearing apart my lungs, airways and heart…

Although that day only got worse, Steve decided to run out of the relative safety of the mine, when it first happened, I couldn’t understand it. I know he said something to me, whatever was said I never heard. Maybe it was the shock? It could have been the white noise crackling in the back of my head. Nevertheless, the words never reached me. 

I recall trying to stop him; my legs were useless, collapsing beneath me as I failed to grab his hand. His silhouette fading away as he exited the mine shaft, leaving me all alone. 

When I look back, I know why he left, it’s pretty obvious now. I’d been screaming at the top of my lungs, no doubt drawing the attention of the government agents; Steve had lured them away from me. When it first happened, all I could think about was someone else I cared about was going to get hurt. 

I’d been so stupid! Why did I scream? What had possibly possessed me to do that? My therapist calls it a trauma response, I call it “not being tough enough to keep it in”.

Yeah… My therapist says that’s not healthy nor am I “loving myself enough”. What does a helicopter know? 

Anyway- Steve ran off to save my ass, which mind you I do not think I deserved! It was my fault!

Apparently, self-worth is also something I need to learn. Copterapist- that sounds bad. Whatever! This is my journal- I can type what I want.

1. Blades, stop reading this! This is supposed to be private!

Ugh- right where was I? Oh yeah, Steve ran off to clean up my mess. 

I know he was trying to protect me. It doesn’t matter how I feel about it, even if I don’t think I deserve it; Steve is the kind of person who would do that, he was always such a good person.

He was like my big brother, even if he was much older than me, he still treated me like his little sister. I will always be thankful for that. Just like Daniel, I wish I had the guts to thank him too.

When I finally managed to stumble my way out of the mouth of the mine, still desperately hoping to stop Steve, of course I never saw where he had gone, nor did I see any signs that he’d been- you know.

I never did see him again; I don’t know what happened to him. I hope he’s still out there, alive and well. 

As I staggered along, I was lucky enough to go unseen, still to this day I wonder how that was even possible. I was a wailing mess, I could barely see straight with all the tears coming out of my eyes, I certainly couldn’t hear what was happening because I was still in shock.

Genuinely, it was a miracle I wasn’t loaded full of lead as soon as I came into the open.

This is where things got weird, not that things weren’t weird before; however, it was just- I can’t really explain why it happened or even how I knew.

Even after six months of learning about giant alien robot lore, there’s still no clear answer.

Basically- it’s simple. I revived a Prime from a bunch of truck bits. 

Okay, I should probably explain better. So- uh. Let’s start with the beginning:

So, when I came into the open, I wasn’t blown up which was cool (thanks army guys). I was in a blind crying fit because the guy that raised me was gone. I really wasn’t paying attention to anything, I just wanted Steve to come back. I was waving my arms around, pretty much feeling my way around, then I was hit with this sensation.

This wave , it just flat out made me stop in place, at the time I was dazed but I was snapped right back to reality. Like I was still super upset, yet there was something pulling me along, and I was following.

Again, I don’t know why. It was an intense feeling, this overwhelming urge to go where my body was telling me to. As I stopped, I came to the realisation that it was the remains of the truck that was calling me, the one Dan, Steve and I drove here in. 

It was even worse than before, before being when Bulldog dropped it off, at least then it had been in one piece. This time it really was just junk, literally nothing but scrap, a pile of melted iron, I couldn’t even tell what was what. The truck was nothing more than a ball of metal being held together by a few cables and iron bearings.

Whatever had hit us, be it a missile or a bomb, it was beyond logic that the three of us hadn’t been blown up with it. 

Something deep inside me urged me to continue towards it. I remember the sound of buzzing becoming stronger the closer I got, my feet dragging me along without thought. 

When I reached my destination, I was staring down at- at the time, I didn’t know what it was. To me it was like a curved cavity of bent steel with a current of electricity running through it, it was faint, the electric was no more than a few sparks jumping back and forth writhing as if in pain. The buzzing it made was intense, although I came to realise it wasn’t the buzz of static I was hearing, it was a voice.

I can’t even really explain it, it wasn’t a voice, voice. More like a feeling? No, that’s not it either. It wasn’t physical? Not a real voice, but like what a person is- The echo of a person? A soul.

Honestly, I’m probably making this sound even crazier than it already is.

All I knew was that this “voice” belonged to someone, someone alive. But in my gut, I knew if I didn’t do something soon, they wouldn’t be for very long.

When that had clicked in my head, I had a flash of an object appear in my mind, I knew that was the answer.

How did I know? Again! I don’t know! I just did. I just knew I had to find that thing, and it was somewhere in the mess of truck parts. Without hesitation, I was stumbling over scrap, digging around, a feeling of pure desperation as I clawed my way through sharp edges and fired fuses.

I really should be escaping, those men will be back soon. I remember thinking, it would have made sense to anyone else in my situation, but not me. For whatever reason I was scouring for some piece of machinery I’d had a vision of.

Well, I’m writing this, so I obviously found it. Was it worth it?

Yeah… in the long run.

What I had found was actually incredibly important, at the time I wasn’t really with it, I think I was acting on instinct? For the last time, I do not know why, whether it was even an instinct or something else entirely. But I had found the Matrix of Leadership.

After I touched it, there was a bright light which blinded me, then I was lying flat on my back staring in awe and horror as the metal belonging to the truck flew into a tight knot. Each piece being pulled into a massive swirling tornado of components, twisting into a storm of wires all reconnecting and snapping back together.

That's pretty much it. 

The last thing I remember was legs.

You read that right. LEGS! JUST MASSIVE FUCKING MECHANICAL LEGS THE SIZE OF A GODDAMN HOUSE! And I didn’t even live in a house back then! I still don’t- but that's besides the point.

That's it. Nothing else.

So where does my memory pick up again? It sort of comes and goes, little glimpses of things that were happening, not too much of it makes sense. But that's fine, not sure I’d even wanna remember what happened.

So, when I did regain consciousness, I was a confused bundle of nerves, I still had the jitters, my head felt like a watermelon and my vision wasn’t doing its job properly. 

I could hear the rumbling of wheels on a road, the hum of an engine, and the smell of oil clung to the air. All that stuff was calming, for a moment I thought everything had been a nightmare. This felt normal to me.

It wasn’t the first time I’d fallen asleep while Dan or Steve was driving, sometimes that's just how things went, we’d have a long day of collecting crappy old cars from various scrap heaps and then I’d just pass out while we were driving home.

Although the first thing that didn’t seem right was the lack of radio playing. Both Dan and Steve loved to listen to the radio, whether it was Steve’s shitty pop songs or Dan listening to some dude’s podcast. 

It was eerily quiet. That’s what made me sit up which was also odd, because I shouldn’t have been lying down, I should have been sitting against the window with my seat belt on. Instead, I was curled up in the middle seat, my face having been pressed into the leather.

I quickly registered what was wrong, it was so completely blatant, the reason there was no radio was simple. Nobody was driving! 

There was no Dan or Steve sitting in the driver's seat, it was empty and yet the steering wheel was moving on its own. I watched in utter silence as the brake pedal jumped down as the vehicle slowed to a stop at a traffic light, the gear pedal pulling up slightly as the gear stick slid into first.

For a few seconds, I just stared, slowly reaching up to rub my eyes hoping it was just my brain playing tricks on me. The light outside the window turned green, making my mouth drop open as the brake was released slowly rising from its position and the gear stick pushed itself into second and then third. 

I didn’t know what to say or whether to say anything at all. My brain was blank, lost in a blanket of white fog of confusion. I couldn’t decide if I was fascinated or terrified. 

I found myself scratching at my arm, which sort of answered how I felt. I was anxious. Which to be honest was probably a big under reaction thinking back on it.

The anxiety was swallowed by a true eruption of horror when my skin felt strange, there wasn’t that roughness I was used to, my nails weren’t being slowed down by the friction created from clawing at my arm, because there was nothing remotely skin-like to see. Only silver metal plating!

I was dragged back into that nightmare again, holding out a pair of metal arms in front of me, a golden cityscape in the background and a giant iron robot looming over me as I screamed! 

“-Sparky, you ain’t human. I don’t know what you are.” Dan’s voice echoed inside my mind, I could hear it so clearly too, as if he was still sitting here and telling me for the first time. Slowly my gaze rose, pivoting towards the driver’s seat, there was no Dan, but there was a dried patch staining the leather where he had once been. 

This time I was sure that this was real… 

I dropped my head into the palms of my now very real iron gauntlets for hands, I didn’t know if robots could even cry, that thought alone was enough to make me want to sob even more. Curling into myself, hoping to block out the new sensations of mechanical joints shifting through my limbs or the strange current humming in my chest. 

I was still for a long time after that, a certain numbness overcame me as I stayed frozen in the same position, everything felt wrong and yet it also didn’t. I wasn’t sure if the truck that was driving itself was even self-aware, in some weird way I kind of hoped it was. At least I wasn’t completely alone.

I can’t quite remember when it occurred to me that the truck wasn’t a truck at all, nor can I recall how I made the connection that the semi was the giant red and blue robot from both my nightmare, as well as the pair of huge legs that had appeared when I passed out at the quarry. But I think it was between coming to terms that I wasn’t a human and wondering if I was ever going to look human again.

When I finally lifted my head again, the night had rolled in and we were parked up outside some building blocks, the lights from the windows above lit the trash littering the concrete just outside. I could hear drunken laughter from the street not too far from where we were parked, the gutter next to the passenger door reeked of sewage while the street lamp on the farside of the alley was broken, pathetically flickering on and off. 

Why a back alley of all places? I’ll probably get mugged or “batmaned”... oh wait I need parents for that. I actually remember thinking that… I know- it was messed up. But I think at that point in time I’d shut down emotionally. I was exhausted, broken in more ways than one and the feelings weren’t helping. I guess back then humour was only one of the two ways I dealt with things, that and anger. Anger was honestly not even an option anymore, because all the frustration from not knowing, had ultimately taken the guy I’d been “angry” at.

I don’t think I was ever really angry at Dan. I was frustrated, bitter about my life circumstances and maybe even a bit sad that I couldn’t experience what other 12 year olds did. But as shouting was just the norm for me, that's what my default was. 

I don’t have anyone to shout at anymore. 

Crawling over to the passenger door, I attempted to open it, however that was a big no according to the truck because it was the first time he spoke or at least kinda? Do dream talks count?

“I do not recommend getting out little one, it is dangerous.” You know you’d think I’d have been shocked to hear a vehicle talk, but I think by then I’d stopped giving a damn. Instead all I did was sigh and drop backwards into the seats. 

“How do you feel?”

“Oh boy mister truck I feel swell! Dan is dead and Steve is also probably dead and I’m a fucking robot!” I have this moment seared into my mind because it was a sad attempt at getting angry, to relive my normal. I don’t really know what I expected to happen, all I know is it was not exactly my proudest moment, I’ll admit.

There was silence, a whole lot of it. In fact it did cross my mind that he was going to kick me out of his cab and drive off. He didn’t. Which, I mean who would have blamed him if he did? I was being a total ass, even I ’d considered leaving me behind. I was tired of myself. 

“I am deeply sorry for your losses, I take the blame for that. I should have acted as soon as we left that car yard… Instead I waited too long and was destroyed by a missile, one that I should have anticipated.” 

I felt bad, my emotions were back and I gave a damn. I immediately wanted to kick my own teeth in for being a jerk to the nice robot. 

“I- no… I- it’s my fault”  I stammered, I was back to being terrible at communication, guess it didn’t matter whether it was a human or a sentient robot, I could not make words work! 

I sighed slumping forwards, I pulled my knees to my chin, the slight grind of metal as my legs moved still weirded me out. Worn out, I closed my eyes wishing that when I opened them again my world would be normal again. Drained of energy, out of shits to give about my own life I simply huddled there. 

“Little one?” He asked quietly, it was such a gentle warm tone, however just like in my dream he had such sadness radiating from every word. 

“Sparky-” I mumbled, the only way I could answer. “My name is Sparky Caird” 

“It is a pleasure to meet you Sparky, I am Optimus Prime and I am your guardian”

Chapter Text

Optimus Prime POV:

The drive had been silent for a few days now, Optimus had many questions to ask Sparky, but no time seemed appropriate. He was all too aware of what this little one had suffered, he had lost enough dear ones to understand the turmoil that she was going through.

However this did not halt those many enquiries rattling around inside, the bot was completely bewildered by his young charge, things that both worried and delighted him. Of course he was concerned for this Sparkling’s health, no one so small should have to go through so much. And yet he had felt the first hope in many aeons, if this young one had come into existence, perhaps Cybertron was still alive? 

Or perhaps that was the sad optimist he had once been shining through? Whatever the case it was not fair of him to put those sort of expectations on a youngling such as Sparky. So he kept those thoughts to himself, it was unlikely that she had any idea of what brought her to earth.

In fact Sparky was completely unaware of what she was; he had heard the story told by the older human, the one he believed was named Dan. The idea that she was found and then raised by humans was quite baffling to him. 

Not only had this protoform survived, she had come to believe she was an actual human being. Eating, drinking and growing as one; not only that, Sparky had somehow imitated what a human looked like right down to their lifecycle.

How was something like that possible? To his knowledge it was not.

But when he had scanned the Sparkling after escaping the earth military, he had assumed she would have some signs of malnutrition, maybe even a clue as to how she had come to this planet. Though it quickly became apparent that there were no such traces, upon receiving the diagnostics he had been shocked to discover that Sparky was actually only twelve earth cycles old and perfectly healthy.

That meant that a protoform had replicated a carbon life form perfectly. This was beyond the capabilities of a T-cog, a component that a Sparkling had not even formed yet, one that she still did not have even now. Sparky was too young. 

When she changed form, it was not a transformation, there was nothing she could even draw from to make an alternate mode. The parts were not present. And yet she looked exactly like a human child.

For a time he thought there was a possibility that she somehow had acquired a built-in hologram device, but he soon realised it would not have worked. Even with a hologram, a highly advanced one; there would still be disturbances to disrupt the projection. And anyway that did not explain how this youngling was eating human food and surviving on that.

Although as soon as she had imprinted on him, her ability to imitate a carbon life forms refuelling system had stopped functioning. Sparky was no longer relying upon that for survival, she was now drawing her energy supply from him. The normal way a Sparkling would, which on one hand was great, she had properly bonded to him. The bad news was that Optimus did not exactly have any Energon to feed himself with, the only reason he was still functioning was because he was pulling power from the Matrix of leadership.

Thankfully he would not starve and neither would Sparky; however, he did not have the energy to use his weaponry and he was limited to truck-mode. Neither of those things were especially useful when they were trying to escape the humans and their military. Optimus was against harming those on this planet. This was their world, he had no right to destroy what belonged to them.

Be that as it may, he wasn’t just protecting himself, he was also responsible for a Sparkling. As much as he hated the idea of having to hurt humans, his first priority was to Sparky. Whether he liked it or not, he had once again been in the wrong place at the wrong time and he had gotten imprinted on again. That meant he was this little one’s guardian.

Bumble bee had been the first, Optimus had found him purely on accident. It was some time after Vector Sigma was shut down; he couldn’t remember where he was at that time, but he did recall scrounging for Energon. It had been quite early into the war when it happened; many of his soldiers were downed, they were low on supplies and he had gone out on his own. 

Then there was crying, the bot distinctly remembered thinking how odd it was, it wasn’t a cry for help. It was just this wailing, this loud incoherent noise. And yet something deep inside his spark reacted, this desperation to find it.

When he did. At first he believed that he had stumbled upon a Minicon, a very tiny Minicon at that. He fondly remembered a little face peering out from behind a metal pillar, the crying stopped and this little silver protoform toddled over to him without hesitation. 

Then amidst the confusion little fingers had grazed his leg, then the next thing he knew there was a wave of energy, which knocked him to his knees. And the feeling as his mind was bombarded with new emotions, the searing pain of having his own spark link with another. 

Optimus recollected having the weirdest urge to pick up this little one, to cradle him, to ensure he was never harmed. 

The morbid truth was when he had brought Bumble bee back to the base, nobody, not even Ratchet knew what he was. They concluded he was not a Minicon, however anything else was a mystery. It was only after Alpha Trion appeared did they get the simple answer. Bumble bee was a Sparkling. 

Alpha Trion had lived for many millennia, thus he knew how everything was supposed to be. It was shocking to everyone involved, the depressing matter was that this was what Cybertonians were supposed to begin life as.

The caste system had wiped away the very nature of the world they called home. Of course Optimus and the Autobots were aware of the flaws, what the caste system had caused, but not how horrific the truth was.

They were supposed to start out like little Bumble bee, the reason he was still a Sparkling was spark-breaking, without Vector Sigma those created from the core of Cybertron were not being preprogramed, were not being artificially forced to grow and were not being dumped into a life not of their choosing. 

How dark things were, to think that this system had torn apart the very foundation of their home and nobody was none the wiser. 

Sparky’s POV 

The next few days were a blur, I didn’t say much and Optimus didn’t push me to either. For the most part I sat next to the passenger window, letting the world slip by; my head was full of questions, yet I didn’t have the energy or willpower to ask. 

I was haunted by what had happened, I was coping in the only way I knew how, silently. There was no reason to shout anymore, there was no need to yell, to angrily demand answers. I had gotten my answer; I wished that I didn’t know, Dan was right-

I had not been ready; ignorance was bliss. 

The idea that I wasn’t a human caused me to question whether I was even real, was I just some advanced AI that someone created? Were my thoughts and feelings real? Was I programmed to be like this? Did I matter? 

Did Dan die for a machine, a soulless husk that looked human? A hunk of metal who fooled everyone, even myself.

I didn’t deserve to be here. Not when a living being was the cost.

It was the realisation that I wasn’t a person, the knowledge that I was never going to be a person and that I had never even been a person to begin with.

The very notion that my existence had been a lie. At some point I thought about how my life could have been, it seemed so ridiculous now. I was never going to be a normal person.

The only people that ever saw me as anything more were gone. 

I found myself staring blankly at the empty seats beside me, at some point the stain from the driver's seat had been scrubbed, there was still a slight mark, but nothing overly noticeable. But I still knew. I could still picture it.

“Sparky?” I jumped a little, startled at the mention of my name. My gaze slid up, I didn’t really know where to look so I focused my attention on the road ahead.

”Do you want to get out for a while and stretch your cervos?”

  What the heck are “cervos”?

I don’t know what my face did but he paused a moment, then elaborated. 

“Your- legs?” He sounded unsure of himself, nervous even.

I frowned, puzzled by the nervousness in his voice, what did a truck robot have to be worried about? 

I scanned the road, it was nothing more than a dusty path of yellowish rock, either side of us was open dry flatlands for miles. 

I guess that's why he was talking about walking, there was nobody around to see us. I personally didn’t care, I'd have been fine with lying on the ground and never moving again. But I couldn’t imagine being stuck as a truck was fun, so I nodded in agreement and Optimus pulled over.

I opened the passenger door, dragging myself down the metal steps. That alone was enough to make me want to curl up into a ball and pretend I wasn't real. 

Why is moving so much effort? Can't I just keel over already? Eh, even that sounds like too much effort…

I expected him to transform into a robot, instead he parked up on the side of the road and turned his engine off, which left us in a dead quiet. The only thing that was audible was the winds blowing over the flats. 

For the first time in days I found myself actually wanting to talk; frowning up at the motionless vehicle, I took a few steps back towards the door almost feeling the urge to climb back in.

”Are- Aren’t you going to transform into a robot?” 

There was a pause that made me wonder if he had heard me, however he did answer. “I cannot.”

At that admission I really did start to worry, I may have been feeling dead inside, only those thoughts were reserved for my own wellbeing. Optimus on the other hand was a different story, I actually cared about what happened to him. He had been so nice to me even though I didn’t deserve it.

“Why? Aren’t you- like uh- stiff being a truck for all this time? There’s nobody around to see you- or me…”

“You see little one- we are Cybertonian. Where we came from there was a fuel source named Energon… On this planet Energon is very hard to come by. It is our lifeblood- our food if you will. Without it we can do very little.” He sighed softly, there was almost a smile in his voice as he spoke; even though he had basically just told me he was starving? He sounded relieved. 

What was there to be relieved about?

Wait! This planet? It took me a couple of seconds to register what I had been told. Yeah, yeah , I know I‘m slow, I thought that was obvious by now.

My expression must have done something weird because he decided to elaborate. Which is great and all, until I began to picture what my face actually looked like now.

The only image in my head was Wall-E… Freaking fantastic

“We are from a planet many lightyears away from Earth called Cybertron. It is no longer habitable… we destroyed it-”

“You were in a war?” I heard myself utter, I don’t know where the words came from. But the vivid memory of my nightmare sprang to mind, the first part of it in particular.

”How do you know that?” Optimus seemed stunned, I don't know how I could tell from staring at a truck bumper, but here we are. I guess it comes with being an alien robot; I can just tell what expressions cars have now.

“I saw- y-you were carrying someone over your shoulder, a building fell- then you were digging them out-“ My mouth opened letting a whole jumble of messy words tumble out, stumbling and stammering over each other. 

This was the most I had talked in literal days, and the first conversation we had was this ?! I'll be real, I just wanted to shut my stupid yap hole! 

Why am I like this!

To be fair I would not have blamed him if he spun around and drove off without me. I was being creepy, like what must this sound like? 

Yes, hi! I'm Sparky and I saw your traumatic war memories. Oops! Sorry about that! You know how it is, LOL.

I stood there sweating, my palms were clammy and my posture stuck upright like a phone pole. Do robots sweat? Apparently I do, or my metal was leaking something wet and gross. Let's just go with sweat.

I should not be allowed to talk…

“I see.” That's it! That's all you have to say! IS ‘I SEE!’ I was assaulted by various responses I could have said, of course my dumbass froze up on the stop. 

My jaw worked up and down but nothing came out, I was drawing a complete blank.

“Can we drive again?” I blurted out. I needed to fill this awkward silence with something; that's what I landed on. Asking the starving robot to keep driving. 

Wow Sparky, you are a terrible human being- robot? Cyber-truck? Cyb-ron? Oh forget it…

“Oh! Of course. Hop in.” WHY DID HE SOUND SO GODDAMN CHEERFUL NOW? What was happening?

The next hour on the road was the worst, the whole time I just sat there ramrod straight, staring intensely at the deserted plains we were crossing. Hoping that the next stop Optimus would chuck me off a cliff so I didn't have to deal with my stupid screaming brain.

Speaking of Optimus, this truck spent the whole time listening to Nashville music. So far our journey had been in complete silence, but now he had suddenly discovered the radio? No way! This dude was torturing me for saying creepy things to him earlier.

Why else would anyone sane listen to Nashville?! 

By the time we arrived in town, I was really debating throwing myself out of a moving semi-truck going 70 mph. Or maybe even disassembling my ears. I mean I was a robot, there had to be a way to remove audio receptors, right?

Upon noticing the buildings coming into view, the music finally cut out and I lent forward, wheezing from the horror of country songs. It was only after getting a hold of myself again did I realise that I had turned back into a human. 

Staring disbelievingly at my arms, turning them over to examine my palms, the ones I recognised as my own. I felt myself beaming, I had never felt so relieved to see a pair of ordinary human hands. My human hands at that!

“You look pleased, it must be quite the relief for you” I jumped at Optimus’ voice, he actually sounded as pleased as I felt.

“Uh- yeah. Dunno how it happened...” I turned my attention to the town, unsure of how else to respond. 

The streets were fairly empty, only a couple of people milling back and forth, the catwalk next to a shop was littered with old bags, a broken trolley sat abandoned nearby. There were a few cars lining the curb next to a tall brick apartment building with a slanted roof. We slid by some traffic on a corner, passing a school that I couldn't help but stare at. 

We were trundling along, not going particularly fast when a Chevy pulled out in front, forcing Optimus to put on the brakes. Barely inches from the other vehicle's rear bumper, the car sped away leaving us in the dust. 

I rolled down the window, stuck my head out and shouted: “DICK HEAD!” 

“Sparky! Language! I do not know what that means, but the tone is enough to know it was rude.” 

I shrugged. I didn’t think it was that rude, I'd heard far worse from Dan and Russell. Immediately upon thinking of them, I felt down again. 

I slumped back into the chair, keeping a firm grip on my arm, I bit back tears and tried to ignore my lip quivering.

Just as I was starting to sink back into the pit of darkness again there was a knock at the door. Spinning around, I came face to face with a man who was leaning in.

Startled, I stumbled backward into the driver's seat, knocking my head on the wheel as I went.

“X'cuse me. Where's the driver of this here truck?” The man demanded, I intelligently made a noise in the back of my throat as I tried to shrink between the leather seat and the driver door. My instincts were telling me to hide.

How was I supposed to talk to a man! A whole ass man. I could barely make a coherent sentence at the robot.

The bloke's face harshed; making me sink down to the footwell. I decided it would be a good idea to not engage. If I couldn’t see him he wasn’t there. Maybe if I ignored him for long enough he'd go away.

Nope. He just repeated the same question again, this time sharper and nastier. 

“Optimus- drive. Go. Please go.” I whispered, panicking. He didn’t. There was no sign he had even heard me.

“Whoever was drivin’ this rig almost took out a car's backside. You gonna tell me who that was lil'girly or am I gonna have to take you down to the station.”

Station? Holy shit! Is this guy a cop!?

Police had always been on the top of Dan's no-no list of people I should never talk to. And that was like everyone. 

I heard the door open on the passenger side, suddenly without any warning I was yanked out.  Flailing, I managed to snatch onto the metal handle attached to the side of the truck. I clung on for dear life.

“Lemme go!” I kicked out trying to him fight off, his grip on my arm was intense and my fingers were losing their battle to hang on to Optimus. 

With one final pull I felt my hand slip away.

Fear . Pure and simple uncontained fear . In a primal moment I swung my head up to meet the eyes of my attacker. There was a surge, it ran straight through my body, licks of electrical current flew into the air like sparks. 

The next thing I knew I was watching a man being run through by volts of electricity, his mouth wide open in a silent scream.

He fell backwards, collapsing, he lay there still as a statue, his clothes smoking slightly.

Ohhhh…

Oh my fucking god I just electrocuted a police man with taser hands. 

I'm gonna go to prison.

Chapter Text

After that stunt I was convinced I had just merked a literal police guy like some kind of criminal. When I thought things couldn’t get much worse a second cop walked onto the scene, couching down beside his buddy. 

I was hyperventilating by the time he looked up at me, stood tall, then began power walking over (talk about scary) whilst I still clung to the side of the truck and drew a gun on me! Pointing it in my direction, he yelled something but I was too panicked to hear. On pure instinct I dove to the ground rolling onto my feet as the sound of a gunshot went off, it ricocheted, pinging into the ether somewhere.

Before I had even registered that I was running, I was already dodging oncoming cars as I crossed the road, which caused the beeping of horns. In my panic I could barely tell where I was headed, only that it must have been really inconveniencing commuter’s considering all the honking it caused.

Tripping on the curb, I caught myself haphazardly as I stumbled onto the sidewalk, sprinting past several people as I went. 

In the background I heard the policeman screech “AGHHH MY FOOT!” I daren’t look back to see what was happening; right now, I couldn’t think about anything. I just needed to flee.

I tore down the first alleyway I saw; panting, not so much from being out of breath, as it was from being absolutely terrified. I avoided a couple of potholes, edging past a parked car.

Finally a hiding place- a dumpster; without even thinking of any other options, I leapt inside, slamming the lid down behind me. 

Looking back on it Ew , why did I do that?

Then I sat in the dark, smelly can of gross for what felt like hours. It wasn’t hours, God did it feel like it though. I was only starting to collect my scattered brain together when I was assaulted by the light as the lid was lifted. 

A tall pale rough looking bloke was staring down at me. His moderate length of hair was silver, slicked away from his face. The corner of his mouth sported a scar, which matched with the one cut through his thick black eyebrow. There were dark circles dug deep under his eyes like pits, although he had the most unsettling coloured irises I’d even seen on a human, they were crimson. Not a colour I thought people could have, maybe they were contacts? 

However something about his stance, the slight hunch to his shoulders and the bored almost amused smirk reminded me of Dan. I felt my guard drop, the panic spluttered out, leaving me to realise where I was sitting.

Why the hell did I choose to hide in a dumpster? 

I could feel the embarrassment building up to make my cheeks red. I gingerly felt my way around until I got my balance, ignoring the squelching as I stood up. The smell was rancid, I probably smelt like a pile of crap too now. The man sniggered, backing away so I could climb out.

Fumbling over the side, I slipped hitting the concrete with a heavy crunch as my arms took the brunt of the fall. Scowling; I got to my feet, dusting my knees off from hell knows what, I straightened up, hoping to make myself at least seem less pathetic. Did it work? Probably not.

It dawned on me that this was a stranger, a stranger that could be part of the police department. Granted he didn’t look like one, he wasn’t wearing anything remotely official or even something that could be seen as ‘smart’. His tattered black trench coat hung from his shoulders, it looked about as old as Dan was- been, with holes and shedded coat ends. Definitely not police material.

Still, I should be careful…

Clearing my throat, I lent on the dumpster with my arms crossed. My split second decisions are freaking awful, did I really think that this was the way to act? I was suspicious as heck. Geez I suck. 

“Uh- Yeah, I was looking for something I threw away- you know in the dumpster. My mom threw out my um- bed? I mean not my bed, like the bed frame. No- not the frame-“ My bullshiting skills needed work. Look, this was the first time I tried, well with someone new anyway. I could bullshit my way through stuff with Dan and Steve- I think?

“You’re terrible at lying-” I opened my mouth to retort, yet I couldn’t think of a comeback; I was really debating booking it again and finding somewhere else to hide (Not another dumpster). “-I saw what happened with the police.” 

Oh no. 

I shrank, slowly shuffling backwards, the anxiety was creeping up on me again. I tossed a glance over to the  exit of the alleyway; calculating how fast I could escape without causing him to react.

”Calm down kid. I’m a Cybertronian too.”

I made a face, I don’t know what kind of face; but from the way it made my eyes widen and my mouth hang, I’d say it was a dumb expression. He offered me a hand which I stared at like a marginally wet potato. Good to know that robots have sweat glands, or at least I do anyway.

He withdrew it and sighed “Habit. You probably don’t know what a handshake is”

Shaking off the gormless expression on my face, I fumbled over my words to try and save my dumbassery.

“I know what a handshake is… ” I extended my hand, my palm looked grossly shiny from all the sweat I was producing, I felt my life drain from my muscles- do I even have muscles? 

I so wish I got hit by a car crossing that road earlier… I’m so stupid.

He raised his eyebrows in surprise, but took my hand and shook it. As soon as I made contact with him, his form flickered, glitching in places revealing parts of a robot underneath. Startled, I let go. 

“My hologram projector is getting pretty old. Physical contact does disrupt the photons more than it used to.” He crossed his arms, still smirking.

I began to claw at my arm, sucking in a shaky breath as I aimed my blue gaze to the ground, searching for something to say that wasn’t dumb.

”Oh… You’re small like me. Well you’re taller than me, but you’re not like the size of a house.” 

“Ah- well, I used to be. This isn’t my real body. This is a Minicon, you’re a Sparkling, two completely different things. Once upon a time I was a tank and a jet” 

I stared at him wide eyed, he snorted at my response, however it didn’t feel like he was mocking me. I figured asking: ‘hey how come you’re not a Tank/Jet robot anymore’ might be a weird thing to ask. So instead I decided to question him over ”What's a Sparkling?” 

“Has nobody else told you?” There was a slither of bitterness in his voice, I wasn’t sure what caused his tone to change, however he did elaborate.

“A Sparkling is what a child Cybertronian is called.” Why did he sound so serious about that? 

“Oh? That’s it?” 

“Sparklings didn’t exist on the Cybertron I knew. The only reason I know of them is because I went digging for answers.”

I narrowed my eyes, focusing my attention on his grim looking face, his features were a mixture between anger and sourness. The embarrassment I felt pretty much vanished as soon as I heard his tone of voice as he spoke. 

The way he spoke and acted reminded me a lot of Optimus, that underlying sadness each time he spoke. Even though I only ever saw him as a truck, I could tell how troubled he was. Which was no surprise considering how I had experienced one of Optimus’ war memories first hand.

I found myself wanting to understand more.

“What do you mean? Didn’t you start out like a ki- Sparkling?” 

“No. I started out as a nameless miner. I was fully grown, pre-programmed,  tossed into a hole and expected to dig until I fell apart.” The grimace had dropped, leaving him to look more uncomfortable, with traces of pain seeping through his voice.

”I named myself Megatron. I was nothing more than a slave, my brothers and sisters constantly at odds with each other, always tearing each other apart for nothing more than Energon scraps. I wanted to give them freedom. But those cast into roles of superiority would never allow us trash on their surface. In the end I became no better than the ones I hated.”

His gaze looked distant, the dark bags under his eyes made them look like nothing more than voids of black. The more I listened, the worse I felt. I didn’t know how to describe the feeling I got, but as Megatron described how his life had been, I started to get flashes, images. Dark tunnels, deep shadows, glowing shards of blue scattered across the ground, shapes fighting, my hands outstretched imploring them to stop.

“It took getting betrayed, my Spark being torn from my own body and shoved into a T-cog-less Minicon to make me remember why I was fighting in the first place.”

Swallowing the lump of discomfort in my throat, I awkwardly nodded as if that would help me feel any less lost.

”Sorry kid. I get heated about this stuff… Anyway- what’s your name?”

Blinking away the visions, they faded, but not before a final picture passed over me, it was far clearer than the others. A robot leaning over me with a skinny frame built with sharp angles, his red eyes and sneer echoed with mockery.

I held my head, shaking off the sudden sensation of wanting to scream at the top of my lungs, I staggered under the dizzying weight of emotions that didn’t belong to me. 

Megatron placed a hand on my shoulder, steadying my wobbly legs, I finally got my body back under my control. Shuddering from the weirdness that had hit me, processing what had just happened, I got up the nerve to look up at the man-robot? 

“You alright kid?” He seemed slightly concerned, but as I locked eyes with him he smiled, it was genuine and gentle. He scanned me up and down, as if checking to see if I was gonna pass out on him or something.

I nodded soberly, backing away from the hand placed on my shoulder. I wasn’t exactly sure if I was okay or not, however I couldn’t hang around like this forever.

“Come on, let's get you back to Prime.” I frowned, I hadn’t mentioned anything about Optimus to him; sure he had seen the thing with the police, but the whole time that was happening, Optimus was a truck…

“I guess he hasn’t told you about me then…” 

“You know him?”

”Let’s just say I have history with Optimus Prime” 

He span on his heel walking off, only stopping to gesture over his shoulder for me to follow. I sighed; I guess this was better than trying to get back to Optimus on my own.

I jogged after him, managing to get to Megatron’s side without incident, I fell into step with him as he continued onwards. When we got to the end of the alleyway that lead back to the road I’d come from he stopped me.

”They’re probably looking for you. You need to change your hologram” 

“Wha?” I said blankly, I had no clue what he meant. Change my hologram? I have a hologram?

“Your human disguise? The hologram that’s covering your real body.”

“I don’t think I have one… and anyway I don’t glitch out when I touch stuff” I mumbled confused. Megatron put his finger to his chin, cocking his head slightly, clearly he was confused too.

“The reason my does that is because it’s old and it’s been filled with bullets once or twice. You have to have a hologram, otherwise how are you hiding your appearance?” 

I shrugged, it wasn’t something I’d really questioned. It’s not like Optimus had made a big deal out of this whole thing, although he hadn’t actually said much to begin with.

”I donno? I thought I was a human. I’ve always looked like this… I did everything a person did. That is until I met Optimus. Since then I haven’t eaten or drank anything…”

He looked dumbfounded, I could almost see the gears turning in his brain.

“You’ve been functioning as a human? How?” 

“Do I look like I know? I literally just asked you what a Sparkling was?” I argued back, I didn’t like all these questions. They were things I didn’t know and I was honestly too freaked out to want to know.

“I told you Sparklings aren’t- Nevermind lets go, just keep your head down and stay close to me.” He snapped, before quickly getting back his composure, a look of guilt in his eyes. “Sorry kid- I’m out of practice… I don’t exactly talk to many people.”

I smirked, which received a raised eyebrow from the bot. “Same… You’re like the fifth person I’ve spoken to, like ever .”

He grinned, snorting through his nose. Put didn’t say anything else, instead leading the way onto the street. It didn’t take long for us to get back to the road where the police had stopped us, cars were going back and forth like normal, there was nothing out of the ordinary.

”Where’s Optimus!” I asked, surprising myself with the amount of panic in my voice, I looked up at Megatron for an answer.

“Don’t worry kid, he wouldn’t leave you …” I couldn’t help but notice the emphasis on the word ‘you’, if I had been in a better state of mind at the time, I would have wondered what kind of relationship Optimus and Megatron had.

“He was parked in the middle of a busy road, with no driver. They probably towed him off to the confiscation lot until someone comes forward to claim him.” 

“They took him!” I whispered from behind him, anxiety was coursing through my body like a wildfire. “Why didn’t he drive away?” 

“Prime’s don’t run… and anyway what was he gonna do? Transform? He’s supposed to be a truck, so he’s playing the part of one. More shit would hit the fan if he acted on his own.”

“I guess that makes sense…” I admitted, I didn’t like it, but he was right. Optimus really couldn’t do anything, he couldn’t even transform even if he wanted to.

”Anyway Prime did stop the one with the gun from chasing you, saw him run his foot over when he went to take another shot at you.” He said off-handedly, he sounded weirdly impressed by that statement.

Oh, so that’s what that scream was. It was him getting his foot crushed by a semi-truck. Good. Bitch deserved it. 

“Wait? What a about the guy I electrocuted? Was he-” I suddenly remembered my own assault on an officer of the law and I instantly felt bad. Sure it was one thing breaking someone’s foot, it was another thing actually killing somebody. That police man didn’t deserve to die for doing his job.

“Dead? Nah, you just knocked him out. The voltage wasn’t high enough to stop a human heart. My readings calculated that it was roughly a shock similar to a taser.” 

I breathed a big sigh of relief. Oh thank god I’m not a murderer.

“You were just defending yourself after all, don’t feel bad about it.” 

I frowned at him, but just he shrugged and carried on down the street. I was a bit nervous over that comment, I still shouldn’t have zapped a guy for doing his job, even if he was being a jerk.

“Come on. I know where the lot is” I begrudgingly trotted after him.

When we arrived I immediately spotted Optimus parked near the back of the lot, a bunch of cars were scattered across the wide area. The place was protected behind a barbed wire fence, a huge metal gate with a keypad lock stood in front of us imposingly. 

Megatron pointed up at a camera mounted on top of the gate, pulling me to the side and into a convenient bush just next to a grate in the ground. 

“We need to take care of that camera.” The bot said thoughtfully, once again stroking his chin with his finger. I nodded, I wasn’t exactly sure how we could do that without setting off an alarm, or get up there without being seen for that matter.

“Kid, I need you to fry it.” 

“Say what?” I hissed, trying to keep my volume to a minimum. Before I could protest more, I was hoisted onto his shoulders. We leapt out of the bush and I was tossed up haphazardly over his head and onto the pole holding the camera. 

I clung to the metal, hugging it tightly, hoping to god that I didn’t fall. He was grinning from below, pointing to the target. If I had a free hand I would have shared a gesture with him.

“You know this illegal, right?” I scrambled up with a bit of difficulty, the smooth surface I was climbing didn’t have any foot holds, when I finally reached my destination, I was immediately stumped about what to do next.

”Yes it is, but this is the only way to get Prime out”

“How do make my hands tasers?” I questioned not too quietly. Mega- Megs, his name is too long. Megs paused, rubbing the back of his head, then shook his head.

“Mhm. I don’t know? How did you do it before?”

“I DON’T KNOW! I WAS BEING DRAGGED OUT OF TRUCK AT THE TIME” I yelled frustrated, causing him to helpful wave his arms around, motioning me to be quiet.

I placed my hands around the bottom of the camera, hoping something would happen if I held it. It was only after Megs started to tell me to hurry up that something finally happened. Raging; I felt a surge similar to the one before, electric broke from my hands, the device beneath my fingers burst into flames. 

Startled I lost my grip on the pole, tumbling down, however before I hit the concrete ground I was thankfully caught. Megs held me over his head like some kind of umbrella, leaving me there a moment to huff and puff out all of the adrenaline.

“Knew you could do it” He placed my on my feet, then violently ruffled my hair, knocking off my goggles from my head, causing me to angrily shove his hand away. He just continued to laugh, which mad me more mad.

“What the hell dude!? Don’t throw me around! Especially for crimes!” 

He ignored me, quickly keying in the code into the pad on the gate, I watched the gate roll open and which I was quickly shoved through. 

“As much as I’d love to listen to you have a tantrum, there’s humans coming and we need to move” 

Tantrum? I shut up instantly, I felt my cheeks heat up. Is that what I sound like? God, have I become a brat? 

He continued to pull me along, once I had gotten past my ‘tantrum’ I realised that he had mentioned people were coming.

Ugh! Priorities Sparky! Think about the important stuff for once! I reprimanded myself internally, man I'd love to kick my own ass sometimes. 

I picked up my pace into a run, allowing him to finally let go and sprint on ahead. I could hear someone shouting behind us, which was a great motivator for me to move faster. 

Skidding to a halt, I nearly went into the back of Megs when he stopped. I looked up, noticing that we were now standing in front of Optimus’ cab door. 

We sure moved fast, I'd barely registered getting all the way back here. I sure as hell wasn't gonna complain about it.

The passenger door swung open, sending a clear message “Get in!”

I compiled without hesitation, jumping up the steps, I slid inside, I'd never been so happy to see a bunch of tatty leather seats before.

I turned to see where Megs was, I found him having a stare down with two security guards. I immediately started to get flashbacks to what happened with Dan and Steve, I was hit hard with fear. I was scared of losing someone again, someone that was trying to help me. 

I opened my mouth, about to beg Optimus to do something, in fact I was halfway out of the door, about to throw hands with these two fully grown men myself.

However soon it became apparent that Megs was in no danger, I watched as he punched one of the men between the eyes, throwing the guard back full force into the other man. With that uneventful fight out of the way, he ran to the driver's door and climbed in.

“Close that door kid, we’re getting out of here!” I didn’t even need to shut it, Optimus slammed it for me. 

Wide eyed, I quickly buckled myself in. Within seconds the engine was running, the gas was hit and the back wheels were squealing. We shot forward, making a beeline towards the exit, there was no attempt at avoiding the other vehicles on the lot, we drove right over them without hesitation.

With that we flew through the barbed wire, onto the road landing heavily. 

“HOLY SHIT WE’RE GONNA CRASH!” I screamed clutching onto my seat, this was worse than the time Dan had driven us up a tree covered wall! 

And you know what this crazy bastard did? 

He cackled!

Chapter Text

So where do I begin? At the red light we ran through? At the bridge we jumped or maybe when Megs decided that driving through someone’s garden was a good idea. 

All I can know for sure is that I had never held onto a seat so tight in my entire life, nor had my jaw been so clenched. I’ll tell you right now, there were several moments we should have crashed and burned but whatever Optimus was made of saved our asses.

To be perfectly honest, I was surprised that he was letting Megs drive like a maniac considering how much he stuck to road safety laws when he was driving himself. Which led me to believe that he didn’t know that Megatron was even a bot himself, and he was going along with it to keep up his cover. That seemed like the most logical explanation.

But then again did anything make logical sense anymore? It sure as hell didn’t for me; what with Alien robots, government people chasing us and myself being a robot that had been raised as a human; did anything make sense?

After the fifth or sixth near death experience that was caused by Megs, I stopped functioning, I just sat there glued to my seat, with my eyes squeezed shut hoping for the wild ride to end. At this point I didn’t care how, I just really wanted it to stop.

When the screeching of wheels, beeping and violent shaking of the truck eventually stopped, I was left feeling like I was the poster child for whiplash. I could hear the sound of gravel under Optimus’, the jitter of little stones hitting the undercarriage, the squeak of rusted brake pads as we came to a halt.

Exhaling through my nostrils I got up the courage to open my eyes. We were in front of what appeared to be an old warehouse, the huge metal panelling was bent in different areas, the steel was rusted with weeds growing up the sides. The garage doors were much like the ones we had back at the auto shop, crusty, with paint peeling. 

The buzz of automated rollers scraping the bottom of the ground hissed as the worn doors were pulled open, revealing a tin can of an interior. The walls were mostly covered by mechanical parts of what I could only assume was a spaceship? Or the torn up ravaged remains of one, I could just make out a cockpit, maybe some wings and a motor?

If I wasn’t so overwhelmed from the ride over here, I would have been all over that shit. 

Optimus must have figured out that Megs was a robot too, because he immediately took control of himself, launching the other bot out of the driver's seat. He pinballed into one of the wings of the craft, landing upside down. He didn’t have much of a reaction other than to rollover onto his feet and give the truck an annoyed look. 

Did Megs deserve that? Yeah, probably. He did try to hit everything when he was driving, plus almost got us killed on multiple occasions.

His hologram dropped, revealing his “true” body. I had only spied small glimpses of it when he had glitched before, but now having the full picture was surprisingly intimidating.

He was a stocky sort of bot, with two blade-like wings protruding from his back, a mostly silver exterior with his joints and a curved crest on his forehead being black. The crest looked more like horns the more I stared at them, with one side of it being broken, which reflected the scar on his human face’s left eyebrow. His face was harsh, he had shark teeth and red optics which had been present in his hologram eyes. 

However, the one thing that sort of offset everything was his height, only being a foot or two taller than me. Still scary though. How was a small robot scarier than the one that could turn into a truck?

I was unsure what the next step was, so I decided the best course of action was to watch the scene play out silently. I could feel the tension in the air, it was thick with something I couldn’t quite put my finger on. 

“Who are you?” Optimus demanded; it was shocking how different it sounded to normal. There was a dangerous edge, this wasn’t a question, it was an order. Megs unperturbed, shoved his hands behind his back, grinning menacingly.

”Come on now, Prime. Can’t you recognise your old friend?”

There was an immediate shift in the atmosphere, going from tense to violent. The next thing I knew the passenger door swung open, and I got the message. GET OUT NOW. 

So, I did. I barely had time to register the movement as I was thrust into a situation I did not like. I was on the floor, pinned under Optimus’ undercarriage as he began to try to force himself to transform, but he didn’t manage it, failing to change. Getting stuck halfway between a truck and a robot, before he reverted to a vehicle again.

“Megatron! What corrupt plot have you conjured?

I crawled out, panicked. I scrambled to my feet, dashing towards the cockpit which I promptly hid inside. It was massive, practically a dark pit of metal compared to my tiny size, it was a struggle for me to even climb.

There I stayed, I could make out my hands - which were no longer human - hugging my knees, my parts rattling as I was reminded once again of that day. 

“You really think this is a plot? Don’t make me laugh. Even if this were a plot, how could you stop me? You cannot transform!” Megatron mocked, he still didn’t sound intimidated facing down a goddamn truck. Pretty sure Optimus could run him over if he wanted to.

“And anyway - I am not a threat to you, but I think you know that, don't you, Prime?” The sneer in Megatron’s voice vanished. “I’m not exactly myself, now am I?”

Optimus didn’t reply; the quiet was deafening, all I could hear was my own metal hide trembling. 

“No grandiose speeches?” Megs sighed. The echo of rummaging sounded from somewhere, I couldn’t make out which direction it was coming from. 

“Here.” There was a clatter on the metal flooring panels, a slight clunk as it tumbled forwards, coming to a stop when it hit something.

“Energon?” Optimus asked,  audible confusion in his tone. Megatron simply grunted in response, no snarky response this time.

“What do you want, Megatron?”

“Nothing. Just take the damn thing, will you? Energon cubes aren’t easy to come by.” 

There was a long pause, then finally there was a loud crunch. Don’t ask me how a crunch can sound displeased, however that one sure did.

After another few moments ticked by, there was another attempt at Transforming from Optimus. As the heavy grind of iron rumbled, the sound it made was distinct. I assumed he was successful because the shuddering impact of a huge foot was felt as it hit the ground.

What now? Maybe they’ve forgotten me. I hope so, this bullshit ain’t it. My thoughts were quickly answered. A huge freaking hand descended from the top of the cockpit, pulling me out.

I did not have the strength to twitch my arms, I felt like one of those squishy stress toys with the way I was being held. I did not like how high up I was, nor did I enjoy the manhandling as a whole. Not real big on physical contact; this just took that dislike to a new level of ‘ NOPE’.

“Sparky, are you unharmed?” Optimus asked, I struggled to wheeze out a single decibel, so I made do with a nod of the head. From where I was being clutched 20ft off the ground, I saw Megs roll his eyes, he looked done with this situation.

“Put the kid down. How is she s’posed to talk when you’re holding her like a corndog?” Optimus gave him a disgruntled scowl, although there was a slight flicker of confusion. He was probably wondering what a corndog was. Gotta admit that was accurate to how I felt.

“Uh- actually c-could you?” I squeezed out each word with a huff of air; for a robot with no lungs (that I knew of anyway) it sure did feel like I had them. 

Thankfully he did, placing me down gently. Once I was free from being a corndog, I heaved an unsteady sigh, and I plopped down onto my metal ass. Standing up did not seem appealing at all, the closer to the floor I was, the better. Turns out I was not a fan of heights, who knew? It was news to me.

“So, your name’s Sparky, huh? Pretty fitting all things considered.” Megatron grinned, sharp jagged teeth gleaming as he approached me, however Optimus’ foot was thrust down blocking the other bot from being able to get any closer. 

“Hey! What was that for?!” I snapped, surprising even myself. “What’s your problem? Megs just saved us!”

I mean, I had read the room; these two clearly had a bad history, but I also couldn’t stand this aggression aimed at the guy who had just risked getting put in jail or whatever. It was- well it was wrong . Weird, never thought I had such a strong morality, yet here I was defending Megs from a massive robot that could easily squash me.

“Sparky, you do not understand. You are too young-” 

I jumped up, my hands balled into fists. That sentence was- was… It hurt. It brought back memories. l stared down at my feet, the world was spinning and all I could hear was the whirr of my gears grinding inside my head. 

“She has the right to know, Prime.” 

“She is a Sparkling! Our war has nothing to do with her.” Optimus growled, his voice falling down several pitches; Megatron ignored him, walking around his massive blockade of a foot.

“You’re doing the same fragging thing that those arrogant bolt heads did to me and my people! If you don’t talk about it then it’s not happening, isn’t that right, Prime?! All you Primes are the same. I at least thought you had a shred of willpower, that you could think for yourself! That's your fragging problem, Orion! You’re too weak to make the hard decisions!”

“I will admit I have made terrible mistakes. However, I did make a decision, I decided not to follow you ! Then you took your rage out on Cybertron! You were the one who started the war, and you were the one who would not listen to reason! I tried, Megatron, I truly did, but I had to make a stand! I had to protect those who were dying from your egotistical power trip! You did not want to call a truce. All you wanted was submission, and those that did not bend their knee were dismantled. You lost your way.”

There was dead silence, a tense drawn out moment that made me uncomfortable and I wasn't even part of the conversation. Megatron closed his eyes, bracing himself for whatever he was going to say next.

“You’re right… I did lose my way… I lost sight of why I was fighting; it went to my head.”

I found my eyes sliding up to look to Optimus who had turned his head away. Both of them seemed ashamed, they showed it in different ways, deep inside I could feel a deep regret coming off them in waves.

“When you threw the All-spark through the space bridge, I knew then that we had lost sight of who we once were… when had we gotten so desperate? How had we gotten to this point? Where did everything go so wrong?” Megatron slumped down to the floor, putting his arms over his head, he lent back and sighed.

“We picked up the All-sparks signal over this planet. I wanted to get the All-Spark back, to simply return it home. We destroyed Vector Sigma, there was no way for it to be used for ‘casting’ anymore. Or so I thought, as it turns out during my absence from Cybertron, Shockwave had rebuilt it. It had always puzzled me as to why you of all bots would do something so drastic, to throw away our life-giving artefact… I was a fool, I thought I was the one in control, but it was always the other way around. I was following what others expected of me. They were the ones leading me…”

Megs looked up at Optimus, he seemed to be waiting for something, yet the big bot remained silent. With a frown burrowed into his brow, he continued his explanation.

“When I realised what was happening, I made it clear that I wanted Shockwave to destroy Vector Sigma again. He said he would comply with my orders, but Starscream wasn’t so happy with that. Long story short, he betrayed me, tagged me with a detonator upon getting the coordinates to the All -Spark and destroyed my body. Then had to rub it in my face even more. Instead of snuffing out my Spark, he decided to extract and insert it to this T-cogless Minicon. Left me stranded on a planet which was currently having its own pointless war…”

I feel like I’m intruding on their conversation… I shuffled uncomfortably from my spot on the floor, I was really considering getting up and leaving the warehouse to give these two some privacy.

“Where is the All-Spark now?” Optimus queried, his voice had shifted to a slightly softer tone, although there was still that air of authority; harsh lines of distrust were written all over his face as he stared at Megs.

“No idea, Starstream can’t have found it, if he had then this world would have been overrun with Decepticons a long time ago. He isn’t the sort to pass up the opportunity to create chaos and become some sort of half-crust ruler…”

“Do you still have the coordinates?” Megs shook his head, before pointing towards the wrecked spacecraft.

“My body is too damaged to reacquire them, I’ve trie-” 

“WHAT?!” I cut him off wide-eyed. How can he just casually mention that his dead alien robot body is just lying here?!

He turned to me; pretty sure he had forgotten I was even here, which is fair enough, but he can’t just drop that morbid bombshell on me!

It did explain Optimus’ reaction when he first came inside the warehouse. He saw his dead mortal enemy’s remains lying there in some random tin can of a hide out.

“That’s your body!” I continued, I was genuinely freaked out, way more than I thought I would have been. I mean when I thought it was just a pile of plane wreckage then I was fine about it. This was not just a plane, this was like a dead guy!

“Oh... Guess that is a bit disturbing when you think about it, huh?” Megatron laughed, making me feel even more horrified. How can he just laugh it off?

Optimus must have realised how bad this looked, because I was promptly picked up again, which again- OH MY GOD! PUT ME DOWN!

”My apologies Sparky. I was so caught up- I was not thinking.” I was shoved towards his window-chest; I did not enjoy this as you can imagine.

“You know, when I came to Earth the humans were having their own war. They called it World War II. During that time I had just lost my body, I managed to salvage my holo-projector and I started using my human disguise.” The small bot told us, even if I could barely concentrate on what he was saying, apparently being too high up makes me dizzy.

“At that time I was taken in by a family that was being hunted for their beliefs… they did not ask questions about who I was, they recognised that I was going through a hardship. That was enough for them to help me. They’re the reason that I truly saw the error of my ways. I saw D-16 in them… and how far I had fallen to forget my very beginning.”

I tried to kick my feet but it was hopeless. All I could see was my reflection in Optimus' window, that was scary all in itself. Geez was that really what my face looked like?

“So I’ve spent well over 70 years on this planet, amongst her people. So I know them very well. Well enough in fact to know that most humans do not like heights. And Sparky was raised by them, so for the love of Solus Prime put the kid down!” 

There was a pause, then to my relief I was placed back down on the floor. Optimus looked down at me with guilty optics, before gently patting me on the head with his finger. 

“Thanks… And he’s right, I do not like heights” 

“I will commit that to my memory bank” The bot said sympathetically, withdrawing his finger from my personal bubble. He stood up from his knelt position in front of me, then without warning he transformed back into a truck. He swung up the passenger door, waiting for me to get in.

I shook off my stun, looking back over at Megs, despite his personality quirks I had grown pretty fond of him in the very short time I had known him. He grinned, marching over to tousle my head in the process knocking my goggles off. 

“No. You aren’t leaving without me.” I jumped as his hologram glitched back into reality, leaving me to stare at the “human” Megs again.

”You are not coming with us-” Optimus denied, however the man had disappeared behind the cockpit, I found myself following after him “-Sparky come along.”

I ignored the truck in favour of watching Megs rummage through a pile of weapons, he threw a belt with several leather straps and a holster over his shoulder, tucking a pistol inside. He grabbed a machete which he shoved into a sheath, tucking the thing into the back of the belt too. 

He jumped over several pieces of heavy machinery, under a tarp, there I heard more fumbling. The next thing I knew he had reappeared with several huge glowing purple blocks stacked on top of each other, he dumped them in my arms before I could register what was happening.

“Hold those, I’ll go get the last few.” I couldn’t see over the top of the cubes of whatever these things were, but a second later I heard him walk past me, rattling as he went.

I was pretty sure Optimus had been telling me to come the whole time, now that I could, I wasn't able to see where I was going. After a moment, the blocks were taken off my hands by Megs, he hustled me towards Optimus.

“You are not coming, Megatron!” The truck revved his engine, of course Megatron just blanked him in favour of shoving the cube thingys into a sack. 

“Sparky, get in, we are going. I do not trust him, regardless of what he has said…”

I still didn’t move, I didn’t want to leave Megs if he was willing to come with us.

“Don’t flatter yourself Prime, I am not coming for you . I’m coming for her . I want to ensure she’s taught the right stuff, not the propaganda that you Primes spout about.” Megatron sneered, throwing the now full sack over his shoulder.

“I can assure you she will be well looked after. I never advocated for the other Primes, you know that.” 

“Really? From what I’ve seen in this short time, you won’t tell this kid anything. Too afraid she’ll have a mind of her own? And anyway, you’re really doing a great job so far Prime, driving off without a drop of Energon, really looking out for the Sparkling under your care.” He snapped back, holding his ground as Optimus revved his engine even louder. So finally I decided to throw my two cents in.

”I want Megs to come. He saved you… he helped me. And plus he can be the face man. The same thing will happen again if people see you’re not being driven by anyone.” 

Megs grinned smugly, which only seemed to annoy the Semi even more. He huffed, his whole truck body sunk with the weight of the sigh. 

“Very well… But I will be watching you! Megatron, do not try anything or I will be forced to take you out.”

“Fair enough” He shrugged, throwing the bag into the cab and hopped into the driver's seat. I followed his lead, clambering into my side.

”Let us go… But you are not driving!” Megs grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest as Optimus backed out of the warehouse. 

These two are like an old married couple…

Chapter Text

I regret everything! These two have not stopped arguing since we left the warehouse. Why did I want Megs along again?

I lost track of what they were yelling about; you’d think someone like me who grew up with non-stop shouting adults wouldn’t be bothered by a bit of fighting. Oh boy, do I have news for myself!

I don’t even know what they’re saying at this point, they’re literally talking another language. Seriously! Alien robots have their own language, who would've guessed that.

I miss the Nashville music! I want the freaking Nashville music back! I can’t believe I want the country noise over the yelling!

I clutched my ears, hoping to block out whatever their slanging match was about, when I noticed that I had once again turned back into a human. Wasn’t sure when that happened but it was a great distraction. 

How do I do that? I prodded my arm with my fingers, pinching the skin to see if it did anything weird. Nope, nothing. It was completely normal; felt just like- well skin . When I dug my nails into my arm it made a distinct mark, leaving a small white indent which faded within a few seconds.

I frowned; I was genuinely perplexed. I glanced over at Megs; he looked human, but it was only a hologram, right? 

Does he feel like a robot still? I mean, he must do, right? He gets all glitchy when something physically touches him. So why am I so different?

Shuffling a bit in my chair, I tried to wrap my head around the whole thing. The more I thought about it, the more it didn't make sense. 

For that matter how come I could eat and drink like a person, but now I can’t? How does that make any sense, I’m a robot. Do I even have a stomach? Where did all the food go when I ate it? I used to poop… I don’t now. How the hell did I poop?

Sure. There were two robots right here with me, however they were too busy yelling at each other to answer my questions. I wasn’t all that confident if I could even muster the courage to ask them anyway. Talking was way harder than I had thought. 

I’d always thought I was pretty good at being forward with shit I wanted to say, turns out, I was only good at demanding answers from the guy I had known all my life. Apparently, that made a difference. 

It’s so funny how once not too long ago I had been dying to talk to more people. There were so many scenarios I’d come up with in my head; about how I would make friends with other kids my age, how to have a whole ass conversation in general. And here I was all this time later, I could barely string a sentence together.

I’m pretty shit at this whole talking to people thing. Hell, I can’t even ask how I exist… 

I was bummed out, really freaking bummed. My life was a mess, I’d lost everyone I’d ever known in about a week, I wasn’t a human, and I couldn’t even communicate normally. Plus! I couldn’t even enjoy chocolate anymore! What was even the point?

Sinking into the leather seat, I tried to take a deep steadying breath. The annoying thought of you don’t breathe, you’re a machine ruined that for me, so all I could do was make a tiny pathetic hiccup. The hiccups didn’t stop with just that one, they just kept coming, until all I could hear was gross gulps of air hitting the back of my throat. My vision had gotten hazy, I couldn’t see through the sudden blur engulfing my eyes. I tried to shake off the feeling that I was getting crushed under a ton of bricks, yet the heaviness of it all slowly overwhelmed me, pushing me deeper into the fog that I found myself in.

This sucks! I hate it! I hate this so much! Why did everything have to go wrong?! What could I have done? I should have done something differently! Anything different! This is all my fault… Dan, Steve, even Russ are all gone because of me. I wish I didn’t exist! IF I DIDN’T EXIST THEN NOTHING BAD WOULD HAVE HAPPENED! THIS IS- ITs- its… why did I have to be alive?

Hugging myself, I curled up into a ball, all I wanted was an escape from the pounding in my head. The violent shaking that caused my whole body to tense up, locking my limbs in place until I couldn’t control myself, the panting and gasping made my chest ache.

I didn’t understand what was happening to me. I could barely hold onto my own mind; any attempt at understanding was all swept away as soon as I tried to form a coherent thought. It was just a constant rush of awful, painful and terrifying memories flooding my consciousness, drowning me in a choking pit of darkness.

I don’t know how long that horrible experience went on for, it felt like an eternity. It felt endless, with no escape from the blackness I found myself in. I was terrorised by images; glimpses of a cold, bloody Dan with a frozen smile on his face and blank sightless eyes, gunfire thundering in the background, as I watched Steve run towards the light at the end of a dark tunnel. 

I was finally released from that chokehold when I heard someone calling my name.

“SPARKY! OI, KID SNAP OUTTA IT!” My eyes flew open. I was curled up on my side, my face was wet, and my heartbeat was running a race in my rib cage. Sitting up confused, I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to comprehend what was going on. My vision slowly cleared, until I could see again. 

I was outside in a forest? 

“Sparky, please tell me you are functional?” My gaze followed the deep, slightly panicked voice of Optimus. He was knelt down, his hand held out; that’s what I was sitting on, thankfully I was close to the ground this time. His face was pulled into a full-blown wide eyed stare of worry; I wasn’t sure how a robot could make such a face without breaking.

To be honest I wasn’t sure, however I was nodding my head without really thinking about it. Swallowing what felt like a watermelon in my throat, I tried to get myself together; I rubbed my face with the back of my arm, wiping away my wet, snotty mess. 

“Told you… Humans do that when they’re distressed or sad. Sometimes when they’re happy too. Strange creatures.” Megs was crouched next to me, looking sort of awkward, he had his hand placed on my shoulder.

“It is concerning! She is a Cybertronian, how is she able to do such a thing?” Optimus asked, the other bot shrugged.

“No idea.” He stood up, leaping off Optimus’ hand. “Maybe you should ask her?”

I jumped a bit, as both of them looked at me expecting some kind of explanation; I felt my lip quivering, I attempted to shake off the urge to start crying. That’s when I got angry, the rage built up so fast. How the hell was I supposed to know! I didn’t know anything! 

You’re the ones that are meant to know! I wanted to ask you, but you both kept shouting! I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING!

“So…?” Megs demanded. And then I lost it. 

“HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?! I THOUGHT I WAS A HUMAN! BUT NOOOOO! I’M A BLOODY ALIEN ROBOT!” Both bots froze up stunned, however I wasn’t done, no way near done!

“EVERYONE I’VE EVER KNOWN IS DEAD! I NEARLY KILLED A POLICEMAN, BROKE INTO A CONFISCATION LOT AGAINST MY WILL! THEN ALL YOU GUYS DO IS YELL AT EACH OTHER IN SOME LANGUAGE I DON’T UNDERSTAND!” I was huffing heavy pants of air by this point, I wasn’t done, I still had more to yell.

“NOW I CAN’T DRINK OR EAT! I CAN’T EVen poop anymore… I don’t know what’s happening, I’m something I don’t understand, and I’m scared-” The fire in my chest spluttered out, I pulled my knees to my chest burying my face into my hands. “-I’m scared. I don’t like being scared…” 

Things were quiet for a bit, at that moment in time I didn’t care if they were angry with me. Megatron was the first to speak up, clearing his throat to get my attention. “That’s rough buddy…”

I found myself looking up, giving him a disbelieving frown. That’s it? “That’s rough buddy”? Are you kidding me?

“I think what he’s trying to say is: sorry. Megatron was never good with sentimental language… I am deeply sorry as well. I am supposed to be your guardian, and so far, I have been inadequate. I let my anger with Megatron cloud my Spark.” Optimus bowed his head solemnly; he really did look sincere about his apology. Megatron sighed, crossing his arms he turned away, refusing to look over at us.

”Yes- What Prime said. Look, I’m not good with this mushy stuff, but- uh, listen Sparky, I came with you because I wanted to make sure you’d learn to be your own person and not whatever you're told to be. I know- that’s not what it might look like, see- me and Prime have a history… as you can probably tell it’s not a good one. It’s in the past. Or it should be when you’re around…” 

Optimus was staring at Megs with a genuine face of disbelief, he seemed to take a second to process what he had said before, smiling a little bit. 

“That almost sounded like the old Megatron… He is right, we shall keep our history between us when you are here, listening to two old bots arguing isn’t healthy for a Sparkling. Or anyone…” 

I sat there for a moment, thinking over what to say. I didn’t really know what to respond with, I finally settled with a simple nod.

“I know a lot about humans, so- that should probably help with uh- you know, things to do with- stuff.” Megs stumbled over his words. He was looking more uncomfortable by the second. Optimus was right, he was terrible at anything remotely sentimental. I appreciated what he was getting at the very least.

“I am afraid I am not too familiar with human customs or their language quirks. I would appreciate it if you would be willing to teach me, in return I will try to answer any of your questions to the best of my abilities. We can learn about your- circumstances together?” 

I smiled, wiping the final few tears from my eyes. “Yeah… I’d like that.”

Megatron gave me a thumbs up which just screamed awkward; relatable as heck, I think this might be what I’d do too. Either way, he seemed down with it. Optimus lightly nudged me with the tip of his thumb, some kind of attempt at being nice without dragging me 20 feet in the air; I decided to get off the giant hand, just in case.

I finally had a good look at where we had stopped. This place reminded me of the forest I had grown up in, but it was less muddy, and the trees seemed to be mostly pine. Maybe it wasn’t so much like where I had lived after all, I guess it was the vibe; Empty, nothing for miles, just grass, trees and perhaps the occasional bear. 

I felt at home, the smell of fresh wood unlocked a memory of when I was really little. Walking through a huge canopy of trees, the sky blocked out by leaves, clinging to Dan’s big rough hand as my little kid legs trotted along as I tried to keep up. I found myself smiling, it was both comforting and sad all at once, I sniffled a little however I didn’t shed any tears. 

“I miss home…” I whispered. I heard the creak of Optimus standing up, the grind of his metal casing catching as he rose. Megs had appeared at my side at some point; I hadn’t caught him moving, I’d been too stuck in my own brain to notice. 

“It’s a nice planet…but I miss Cybertron. I hated this world when I first came here… it was so different from what I knew. Yet it grew on me. Earth is something else. So many different textures and smells to experience. The humans are annoying, the plants get everywhere , yet I can’t help but admire it. So stubborn, it’s so unwilling to die, it will always find a way to survive no matter what.” The smaller bot grinned, bracing the back of his head with his hands. 

“The big city with the golden domed building, was that what your whole world looked like? Was your whole world made out of metal?” I asked, thinking back to the dream I had with Optimus in it. If the war I had experienced was real, then the other part of the dream had to be too, right?

Megs frowned, his whole face was twisted up in confusion, he then looked up at Optimus who shook his head and shrugged in response. 

“You were there… it was not my own mind playing tricks on me?” The semi asked, seemingly disturbed. I felt my face pale a bit, I thought I’d already told him about the dream. Or did I only mention the war part of it?

“I thought you’d never been to Cybertron? Now you’re saying you were with Prime in Iacon? There are no other cities with that kind of structure.” The former evil robot growled; he seemed about ready to throw hands with Optimus.

“No! I’ve never been- I just saw it…in a dream… and like experienced one of Optimus’ war memories- in his body…?” I jumped in quickly hoping to prevent Megs from getting stomped by a bot 10 times his size, and they’d only just stopped fighting; I did not want that to start up again, next time I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to deter another row.

Megatron appeared to be having a huge ass brain buffer, because he opened and closed his mouth, brushed back his hologram hair with his hand and then finally crossed his arms, cocking his head to one side. I can’t even blame his reaction; there was no way not to make it sound not weird.

“How may I ask, did you come into my conscience?” Optimus mumbled; he still didn’t look overly thrilled with this whole thing. Again, fair enough. 

“I take it… this isn’t normal?” From their reactions, I already had the answer. This was in fact not normal.

“No, it’s not normal! How do you do that shit without a Cortical Psychic Patch?” 

Optimus gave Megatron a side-eye, which of course went completely ignored. I donno what a Cortical Patch thingy was but apparently it wasn’t something the truck approved of. I stared at Megatron blankly; my clueless mug was obviously enough, that I didn't need to say anything. 

“If it makes you feel any better, I saw something when I met Megs in the alleyway… so uh- It’s not just you, Optimus.” I don’t know what my goal was when I said that; was I trying to make Optimus feel better or was I just creeping out a former criminal? Both, it was probably both.

“WHat! What the hell does that mean?!” 

“Like- when you were telling me about how you got small… I saw- some uh- stuff.” I crumbled under the pressure, my voice sounded like I’d just spent a few hours in a tumble drier. You know what? I think I hate talking. It sucks ass. I wish I had a god damn mute button!

“What kind of stuff?” He actually had a panicked look in his red eyes. I could feel Optimus' burning gaze, it wasn’t even aimed at me, and it was uncomfortable.

“Well, there were mines… And robots fighting over these crystal things- then like this other robot, he was all pointy, he was silver with red eyes and- and like wings, I-I think? He was smiling- but it was like gross…” 

He went still, his eyes dropped to the ground. Even Optimus had stopped glaring, having turned away as if to give the other bot space.

“I see… I wouldn’t be so fast to believe you if you hadn’t just described Starscream…” 

“Right… he was the one who-”

“Blew me up… Yes, that was my second lieutenant, always plotting.” He snarled bitterly, with that he walked off, hands firmly clasped behind his back. He stopped at the edge of the tree line, plopping himself down on a fallen log. And that’s where he stayed, knuckles bracing his chin as he stared off into the distance. 

“I am glad he has gotten better at controlling his anger. He really is like the Megatron I knew all these aeons ago. Well, mayhaps not quite the same, however closer to that then what he became later on.” The semi sighed, his optics filled with that same sorrow that I had seen before. He sat down on the grassy null, propping up his arm on his raised knee, the other rested beside his crossed leg. 

“I- Sorry” I felt so guilty, I hadn’t meant to piss off Megs. I really was lost, I didn’t know what was normal or not, so far nothing I did was considered normal for a robot. 

“It is not your fault, little one. You simply answered what he asked of you. I am sure he is not angry at you, he is more than likely angered by Starscream.”

“I don’t get it. What’s the matter with me?” I clambered up onto Optimus' leg, sitting down on the blue casing covering his knee. The grass looked wet; I didn’t want to get my ass covered in mud. Oil all over my boiler suit was fine, mud was not, it was gross and looked like something else.

“There is nothing wrong with you, Sparky. Just because you are not like others of our kind, does not make you any less of a Cybertronian. You are you. That is all that matters.”

“Thanks… I think?” I got what he was trying to say, however it didn’t make me feel any better. All I knew was I was different… whether that was a good or bad thing? I didn’t know.

Chapter Text

The forest breeze was nice, the rustling of the leaves reminded me of home, minus the constant background noise of the garage... It was still nice, with one exception. Megs sitting on his log brooding ominously.

Optimus assured me that this was normal, in fact he seemed genuinely happy about it, which was weird. But like everything this big guy did was.

I found myself thinking about that police man, the one I accidentally tased. Staring at my normal, human hands made it more confusing. There was nothing out of the ordinary, they looked the same as they always had. 

And somehow I'd made electric with em’? If that's what that even was, I mean it had definitely appeared like electricity, with the flashing light and the fact that I made a grown man faint? 

How did I do that? I did it on those confiscation lot cameras too.

Maybe Optimus would know something? He did say he'd try to answer my questions. This was a pretty good question to ask. 

Now… I just need my stupid mouth to work. Which it wasn’t doing- because of course, nothing I do is easy.

I opened my mouth a few times, nothing came out, except a pathetic wheeze of a tiny “hey”.

Optimus clearly didn't hear me, he was off staring into the distance.

The leg I was perched upon stayed perfectly still, annoyed at my failure to once again make any progress with this whole talk about shit you don't understand with the giant alien robot.

I finally hissed out a disappointed sigh, begrudgingly focusing my attention on something else. The something else being Optimus’ leg, the one I was sitting on. 

A slight repetitive clicking sound drew my gaze to in-between the slight cracks of his casing. 

Inside was a wide variety of do-hickies moving, it didn’t take long to locate what didn't belong; some kind of plastic plating of sorts, the kind you would find inside cars. Specifically the material that a dashboard and the glove box were made from.

I peered closer watching a gear roll over it like a mini bulldozer, that's probably where the faint rattle was coming from. 

Man that can not be comfortable. 

“Is there something wrong, little one?” I jumped at Optimus’ soft voice, he sounded puzzled. Yeah... I guess that would make sense- I was sitting here staring at his leg like a weirdo.

“Uh... Well. You see-" I scowled at my stupid attempt, how long have I been trying to form a single word? When I do, that's all that comes out! Oh come on Sparky!

“-you have something stuck in your leg.” Apparently bullying myself works wonders, why didn't I do that before? Mental note: Bully yourself more, it makes your mouth produce noise.

Optimus raised an eyebrow? Is that what those are? Whatever… Either way he looked surprised at my comment. Had he not noticed?

“Oh! I see. Yes, I have had that stuck in there since the incident at the mines. I am not sure how it got in there.” He smiled brightly, like this was some nice little conversation- this guy. What was this dude’s deal?

“Doesn’t it hurt? Like- your gears are rolling over it. And when you walk doesn’t it catch on the other parts?”

He waved his hand dismissively with that smile still on his face. It was a little unnerving.

Who smiles about this? You have a piece of dashboard in your leg, like right in there.

“It is nothing to worry yourself with Sparky, but I appreciate your concern.”

That didn’t answer my question. In fact it sounded like he was avoiding it all together. 

Strangely the thought of something like that impeding on a mechanism so intricate made me grind my jaw together, my mechanic brain hated the idea of just leaving it alone.

It was so- what was the word I was looking for? Annoying? No. Dismissive? That wasn’t it either... I wasn't angry or annoyed. Well whatever the hell I was feeling, it made things easier! “Let me remove it!” 

“It is fin-" I cut off the giant robot without issue, this was finally something I knew about! This was my comfort zone! I could finally do something to help Optimus!

“No! I’m going to fix it! Turn back into a truck!” 

Optimus frowned, ordinarily I’d probably start bricking it, but with this particular situation, I didn’t bat an eye. I’m a mechanic. I fix vehicles. This was what I did!

I climbed off, jogging away to give the robot room to change; I crossed my arms firmly, I could feel my jaw lock into place as it always did when I felt this way.

The robot tried one more time to argue, however my face must have done something to convince him. With a sigh, he folded himself down into his truck mode.

I watched closely, as each part rearranged itself into a different component. It was methodical, and oddly easy for me to follow. 

“Very well. But do not worry too much if you cannot remove it. Do you-" 

Quickly Optimus’ voice faded out as I went into work mode, I was already rummaging in my tool belt, I found what I wanted, then just as I was going to kneel down I grimaced. 

Mud. There was so much mud. Ain’t no way I was getting covered in that. Then I remembered that there were mats in the foot-wells, those would work.

With that I quickly chambered inside of his cab, snatching up the mat on the passenger side to throw under his undercarriage. Crawling underneath, I ran my eyes over the network of pipes and metal. He definitely looked a bit different to a normal truck, there was more under here. Yet nothing I couldn’t understand.

These things made sense to me. 

It took me only a moment to pick out what was out of place, the plastic thingy was shoved under his fuel tank, trapped between the fuel line and a- uh- alien robot power cord? 

“This is easy. I can fix this, it’s stuck under your undercarriage”

With the end of my screw driver I dislodged the junk, it wasn’t all that hard to push out. With that done I thought it would be over. Oh, how wrong I was.

It was only now that I realised a large amount of bullet casings and dents littered his undercarriage. It was insane.

I began the lengthy process of picking them out one by one with a pair of pliers, I probably got out 20 to 30, those were only the ones I could reach. The rest were too hard to get to without the proper equipment.

As time went on, I began to see more concerning damage, some of his important parts were cracked or broken. He was even dripping some kind of purple substance, that somehow I knew was his “blood". 

The memory I’d gotten from Megs started to replay in my head, specifically the one about Starscream. The image of Megs’ original body sitting there in pieces in a rundown tin can of a warehouse started to make me feel a little nauseous, the idea of being blown to pieces and then shoved into a different body was disturbing. 

I swallowed that discomfort the best I could, I could think about that later, for right now I had a job to do.  

“Optimus, you’re leaking uhhh- purple stuff. I’m going to try and seal that up. I don’t have my wielder with me, which is gonna make this harder. But I think some electrical tape should do the job until I get the proper stuff.” 

“Ah…” Was all I got in response, he sounded uncomfortable about it, but didn’t move, allowing me to wrap up the leaky pipe. Once I was happy enough, I got to work on some of the things I could fix. There was nothing too difficult to do.

I screwed up some loose bolts, realigned a few pipes here an’ there, patched up the occasional leak with more electrical tape. Reconnected his rear lights so those were working again. Hammered some misshaped metal back into shape; rewired his gearbox and greased up his breaks so they wouldn’t screech anymore.

”He-y? Um? Optimus, can I ask you something?” I couldn’t take the silence any longer, as much as I hated talking, I also was not enjoying the constant bombardment of questions about Megs and Starscream. 

“Yes? Of course” The truck answered enthusiastically which immediately made me feel bad, I asked anyway.

”So this Starscream guy? Why did he- you know-“ blow up his leader? I couldn’t bring myself to say the last bit out loud. 

Optimus didn’t seem to know what to say, only the sound of the forest could be heard, which definitely made the quiet worse. All I could say was that I was glad that my hands were busy, if I wasn’t buffing out dents I’d have felt even more awkward. 

This was a terrible idea, why the hell did I ask? That’s like asking why someone murdered their boss and stole their organs- Or putting the organs into a different body? The brain in a different body??? Do robots have brains? WHY AM I THINKING ABOUT THIS!?

Just as I was about to die inside and turn into a puddle of “god why the fuck do I even exist?” Optimus spoke, his voice was low, flat and honestly so, so defeated that it could have cut me with how sharp the words were. 

“War makes Bots do terrible things. It creates monsters, Sparky. Sometimes there is no reason for cruelty. Sometimes those who are cruel do it simply for the sake of being cruel…”

I didn’t know what to say. Yet it painted a clear picture of who Starscream was. 

I was done for the day, I crawled out from under the undercarriage. I felt cold, sick and shaky. I asked, Optimus told me. I had said I wanted to know and he was honest. 

Just like I wanted…

Then why did I feel so fucking gross? So disgusting for wanting to know?

I mean, I was always fixing broken machines. But the disturbing mental image of Megs’ broken body kept cycling in my head; over and over. 

He was made of metal… He was just metal. I’ve seen millions are scraped up vehicles, so why did that feel so wrong?  

I hadn’t even noticed that Optimus had transformed back into robot mode, until a finger was placed on the top of my head; surprised I jumped, my eyes flew up to meet his blue optics. 

“Perhaps we should speak of something else?” He offered gently, I automatically nodded. He sat down on the grassy null with his legs half crossed, patting his metal calf. It took me a moment to realise he was asking if I wanted to sit on his leg again. 

I clambered up, bunching my knees against my chest. My hands looked human, yet I felt anything but at this moment. 

“Thank you. You did a good job.”

My brain stumbled at the praise? Was this praise? Dan had never told me good job. 

I was just doing my job . I was a mechanic, that's what I was supposed to do. It wasn’t a big deal or anything that impressive.

I shrugged, it was the least I could do. What with everything he had done for me, this was nothing.

“May I inquire how you learnt first aid?” That made me stare, what did he mean ‘first aid’?

“I don't…? I just did some minor repairs, it's not exactly rocket science. I've been fixing vehicles since I could walk- it's like one of the only things I get…” 

“You get ?”

“Yeah- you know, like, uh- it's just something you understand. Mechanical stuff makes sense, I mean.”

Optimus raised an eyebrow, he gave me an expression that screamed does that make sense?

That confused me, surely robots knew how to fix themselves, right? I mean, that made sense to me. 

“You're a robot… Don't you have a repair programme? I thought you didn't fix yourself because you hadn't been able to- cos you know, you were stuck as a truck.”

“Repair programme? No, I do not have one of those, nor do other bots. We need medical training.”

“Huh?” I frowned, I felt a grimace form. Great, I wasn’t normal again. Wonderful. 

“Hate to agree with Prime on anything , but he's right about that. Cybertonians need medical training, just like humans.” Megs had returned from his brooding session. 

His disguise was gone, leaving us to stare at a bot that could probably chew a hole through concrete. Aka. Small, scary guy with shark teeth. His silver metal was scratched up, the very deep and obvious slash over his shoulder plating didn't help matters. 

Then again, Dan wasn’t exactly Mr pretty either… I miss him. I even miss his bald head and permanent scowl.

I shook off the pain building in my chest, I couldn’t even think about him, at least not without remembering what had happened. It was like the rest of my memories were locked away behind a screen that only replayed the worst thing that had ever happened involving him.  

Geez, I've seen some pretty messed up things lately, haven’t I?

“Oi kid are you listening?” My mind was pulled back to reality as Megs’ placed one of his clawed hands on my shoulder. I sighed, shrugging, I didn’t really care what he was going on about now. Thinking about Dan had made me feel shit again.

“I thought you wanted to learn?” Megs continued, thankfully Optimus shut him up by slamming his fist on the ground. The small bot sneered slightly, marching off a bit, probably to get out of smashing range and stood with his back to us, his arms crossed. Maybe he wasn’t finished brooding after all?

This was suddenly too much to deal with, I was tired, fed up and the last thing I wanted to do was be here. Specially between two alien robots that hated each other. Even if they had promised not to fight in front of me, the tension was still there and it was franking unbearable to be around right now. 

I slid off of Optimus’ leg, I needed to stretch, being under a truck for that long wasn’t great for your muscles, nor sitting down all huddled up either. Bunching up my fists I took a few steadying breaths, pouring every ounce of my willpower to push the words out of my mouth.

“I’m going for a walk and before you say anything, I won’t go far… I- I just need to be alone.”

Good, I told them, I didn’t even stutter that much this time!

The two bots exploded into a fit of waving arms and raised voices. Apparently this was the worst thing to say in the history of ever saying anything! Come on! This took a lot of energy just to say and they were kicking up a huge fuss!

I groaned, that was it! I didn’t care what they said! I was going whether they approved or not. With that decided I slid down the grassy bank, running into the wood, not even stopping to see if they were following me.

It was only after I had come to a clearing that I finally stopped, stood there for a moment feeling like I should have been doing something important… 

Oh yeah, I wasn’t gasping for breath. Nice little reminder that I wasn’t a human again.

Just what I freaking need, more reminders that my life is one huge lie.

What now? Hold on, when did the forest get so dark? My eyes were drawn upwards, the canopy of trees blotting out bits of the sky, however there was enough sky to catch glimpses of stars peaking through. 

Oh shit… I did not think this through.

What was the thing Dan always said? Day is for people, night is for predators… You never go out in the forest at night, definitively not on your own.

“Ah crap- I’m gonna get eaten by a bear, aren’t I?” I was kinda shocked at how resigned my own voice sounded, even it was tired of my bullshit. Know what? I cannot blame it, I’m pissed off at me too.

“Where the hell did I come from?” I demanded to nobody, throwing my arms in the air, frustrated. I turned in a wide circle, trying and failing to pick out where I had started from. 

Maybe I should lie in the dirt? That sounds way too appealing, that’s probably something I should be concerned about. (Apparently that is a worrying sign, who knew?) 

Okay. Let’s see? Which way should I go?   Either I go into the dark ooooorrr I go into the other dark? Oh boy! I can’t decide! Those two options are both just as shit as the other!

I'll keep this short. Because honestly this part was just a lot of me complaining about my terrible decisions, not very exciting. I yapped and yapped, threw around some uncreative swear words, kicked a tree and then fell over. Turns out even kicking trees as a robot hurts like a moth- okay, so I’m allowed to say fuck, but not with a another word in front of it. Like why!? I don't even have a mother!

Ugh- Whatever… 

Am I going to continue?

Oh- OH yeah! Yes I am.

Where was I? Okay so I kicked a tree, hurt my foot, fell over, bawled my eyes out for like ten minutes. Lame as hell, I know right? The-

Blades! Will you stop interrupting?

Yeah, yeah! I know. Value yourself yadda yadda… 

You’re the one who’s making me record all this crap! Sorry-  I meant Scrap. Sorry Optimus. Anyway, isn't this supposed to be private?

Okay, they’re gone, I can finally continue.

Anyway- After all that, I stood up and decided to see if I could find my way back out of the forest. I made a good amount of progress, I thought I was getting closer to an opening, then BEAR.

You know for all the stuff I said about bears, I spent 12 years living in a woods full of them and never once saw one, not even from a far. 

Then wouldn’t you know it I spend a tiny bit of time wandering around a different forest, then I run into one. Don’t worry, I’ve had it drilled into my head since I was little, what not to do if I ever see one.

So I did the exact opposite of course. I freaking booked it, I literally tried to out run a goddamn bear. You know the same animals that can keep pace with a horse. Well that's what Steve told me anyway… Not sure if that’s true. Either way, this bear was definitely fast, it managed to catch up to me in seconds. Next thing I know I’m being pinned to the ground, its teeth inches from my face. Its brown fur blocking my view from all sides, I’ll be honest I don’t think I even realised I was about to be Winnie the Pooh’s meal ticket.

It sniffs me… then sneezes. Yeah, so it turns out I don’t smell like a human. It's one of the only things I can’t do. Eat, drink, look like a human, poop- But I can’t imitate the smell. Sure. I mean it saved my butt.

You can not imagine how freaking confused I was when the bear climbs off, sneezes again and walks off. First thing I do? Sniff myself, gag at how badly I needed a shower and clean clothes.

Staggering to my feet I continue walking, numb to what just happened, numb to the wind, numb to the starting splutter of rain. All I could do was keep going, I was tired, so worn out that nothing felt real. It really didn’t. The edges of my vision were buzzing with static noise, there was no sound apart from my own footsteps crunching through the brush.

I felt strange, empty even, my limbs started to ache, dizziness swung my brain in loops, making the trees spin faster and faster. I never stopped walking, or at least I don’t think I did.

Of course I got found at some point, don’t ask me how long it took for them to track me down, I couldn’t tell you, it could have been hours or minutes. Megs appeared out of the bushes yelling at me, whatever he was saying didn’t register. When he realised that I seemed out of it he stopped shouting, instead grabbing me and pulling me along until we reached the edge of a road.

He sat me down, or maybe I fell on my ass? I know I didn’t say anything, I don’t know if I was spoken to either. In fact I wasn’t sure if I even could speak then. Optimus was parked at the side of the now wet road in truck mode, the cab door swung open and Megs tossed me in, then after that I don’t remember much. I think I went to sleep or something.

When I came to we were on the move, Megs was “driving” at least his hands were on the wheel, his human disguise once again in use, at least he was a bit less creepy like this.

I sat up the best I could; Optimus greeted me with a warm but somewhat concerned good morning. I managed a nod, that’s all I could do. I was surprised that Megs wasn’t yelling at me for my stupid stunt, instead he remained focused on the road ahead of us.

I wasn’t even sure if I should ask what happened last night, I was kinda worried that I’d get told off. 

Optimus sighed after some time, finally breaking the silence. “Sparky, do you remember what happened last night?”

He doesn’t sound mad, that’s good… 

I think?

I shook my head, everything was rather foggy, the only things that I did remember were probably not a good idea to share right now.

“You got low on energon, it is a relief that I am able to track your location, things could have gotten quite troublesome… I do implore you not to run off on your own again, next time could be more diff- 

“What he means to say that without me, he couldn’t have gotten to you because his skidplate is too big for the tiny forest.” Megs grinned mockingly, he looked uncomfortably gleeful.

Without warning Optimus hit his brakes sharply at a red light. I was thankfully belted in, so I was fine, but Megs not so much, it made him fly forwards, slamming the bot’s face into the wheel. He threw his head back, holding his already crooked nose, his hologram glitched; flashing between several different human disguises, before settling back on his normal one. 

“Perhaps you will consider wearing the buckle now, Megatron?” Optimus said, he almost sounded normal, almost… there was the slightest hint of amusement woven in. 

Grumbling the other bot straightened, his face crunched up in pure annoyance.

“I’d rather get thrown out of your windshield.”

“Very well, suit yourself.” 

Sure, they didn’t yell at each other anymore, but they still acted like an old married couple. And I’d die on that hill.

“Anyway Prime, you care to tell us where we’re going?” Megs snapped, he was still holding his nose, which was pretty odd considering he didn’t actually have one. The disguise did, but that was just a hologram, right?.

Optimus ignored him, continuing forwards. Looking out the passenger window I immediately knew we were no longer in a forest. We were passing through a town; that should have been a dead giveaway since we stopped at a red light. 

The buildings weren’t anything impressive. Stone, stone and more stone, everything was made from it. I guess that’s a little weird to me, since I grew up in a tin can in the middle of nowhere. Come to think of it, almost all of this was new to me and not just the whole not human thing either.

Despite that, even I wanted to know where we were headed; it might not mean much to me but the thought was nice. 

“Actually I’d also like to know…” 

The truck slowed to a stop at some more lights, he hummed in thought- that was it. That's all he did.

“No. Nothing to say? Not even to your Sparkling? Let me guess? You have that under control too? I mean you are the great Optimus Prime after all, you don’t make mistakes, right?” Megs snarled, the taunting had an edge to it, as if it was more than just a way to annoy him. 

“... I am following a distress call.” Optimus said quietly, he didn’t sound angry or even irritated, just defeated. 

“From who? Would be swell to know if we get shot at again.” 

Hold on! Again? When did we get shot at? Aside from the town we found Megs in and- when… Nevermind he wasn’t there back then.

“H-how long was I out?” I stammered, my eyes felt wide and my chest was tight with building anxiety. 

“Care to explain Prime, or should I?” 

“No- It is my fault, I should be the one…” 

Wow. This anxiety bullshit is the worst, it makes me want to scream, hide and implode all at once and somehow I think it’s only going to get worse!