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Chapter Text

November 12th 2003

Another lonely night at in Winchester. The start of winter was cold, the snowflakes seemed to fall more often as they covered the roof of Wammy’s. The skies were cloudy, painting the orphanage the colour grey on the already dull, concrete walls. I stood at the front of the kitchen after sundown. It was a little after dinner and most of the orphans had made the decision to go to bed straight away. A handful were trying to spend as much time as they could in the library, or at the halls outside their sleeping quarters before curfew hit. Roger was always extremely particular about rules, especially when it came to us orphans.

Noise. I almost immediately ducked behind a potted plant that was at the end of the hall. The plant was a succulent; low maintenance and didn't require much taking care of. I wondered what it was like to be a succulent. If i had that much freedom to do whatever I wanted without being doted on. Not that the orphanage ever paid attention to the likes of those like me. An average student at Wammy’s will only get you nowhere.

I continued to stare at the locked kitchen door, my stomach rumbling as I thought about what kind of confectionaries could possibly be inside. I wouldn't consider myself a 'sweet tooth', however, due to the fact that someone had been stealing from the kitchen, Roger decided to ban desserts for a month. Three weeks in and I was suffering from withdrawal symptoms.

The thief wasn't me of course, stealing from the kitchen was the furthest thing in my mind. But when you want something, you tend to just stare at it for long periods of time. I was planning on staring at the kitchen until curfew.

The noise grew louder and I had immediately deduced that whoever those voices belonged to must've been the thief. Or judging by the amount of voices, thieves. My heart raced as thoughts filled my head. I was curious as to who the thieves were. After all, if I uncovered their identities, I could go back to eating sugar cookies after a bland meal at dinner.

I huddled myself into a ball, trying to conceal myself from the chilly air. The heaters or air conditioning didn't work near the kitchen due to the fact that it could interfere with the cooking. The voices drew closer and closer. I held my breath, not wanting to get caught by the shadows around the corner.

"Ow! Quit kicking me!" A youthful voice exclaimed. As the brunette came into my blurry line of sight, I saw him rub his shin as he started to hop next to the shorter, blonde boy beside him. The blonde sighed and glared at the brunette, feeling rather unamused by his antics. They drew closer to the kitchen, stopping in front of the locked door. The brunette dug through the pockets of his baggy pants, looking for something.

"I only kicked you because you were making so much noise!" Blondie whisper-shouted as he shifted across the floor, light on his feet. He looked experienced, like he had snuck in here a thousand times before. The brunette looked over at blondie and gave him a wide toothy grin. He took out two pieces of wire and stuck it in the lock. The two of them looked around and I had recognised them instantly. Mello and Matt— placed second and third at this orphanage.

The door swung open and the Matt looked at the Mello proudly, as if expecting some sort of praise from the blonde. He was met with a dry chuckle and a hand to his face as Mello pushed him away. Matt didn't seem to mind though, he looked quite used to it. I looked around in hesitation. After recognising who they were, I didn't dare follow them. Sure, the two were around my age and I didn't exactly have a reason to be intimidated by them, but their intellect was what terrified me. It was astonishing how incredibly smart two teenagers could be, which made them intimidating to all the lower ranked orphans. Not to mention, this meant they were the thieves! I couldn't possibly interrupt their little 'mission'. I stood up, ready to go back to my room when something stopped me.

My stomach rumbled again.

The door was open, there was no one inside and I was hungry for something sweet. The situation was almost perfect, but I was afraid of being caught by Roger. I looked around again, making sure there was no one. I counted the number of seconds they had spent in the kitchen before finally deciding to make my move. I snuck in behind them, ducking behind a cabinet so they wouldn’t notice my presence.

Matt snickered and stared at Mello with a glint in his eyes, amused that Mello was bending the rules. His eyes crinkled in amusement and I could see his sharp canines as he grinned at Mello’s bored expression.

"You're the reason why none of us are allowed dessert, you know?" He snickered, his voice much rougher than I had expected. Mello rolled his eyes and looked away, feigning embarrassment about the subject. I could see why. After all, they was the reasons why Roger threw such a hissy fit.

“You’re part of it too.” Mello mumbled gruffly, folding his skinny arms across his chest. He gave Matt a sideways glance, not bothering to turn his body towards his direction.

“I still find it ridiculous that you’re so desperate for more bars of chocolate” Matt sighed, although he wasn’t seeing the problem in Mello’s actions. Of course, there were several problems with his actions. He had ruined dessert for everyone, and not to mention, the cathedral bells were currently tolling, indicating they were out after curfew. The bells tolled for a total of 8 times, one for each hour.

Matt sighed as he heard the bells.

“8:00, we have 15 minutes, Mels.”

“I’m more than aware, Matt.” Mello rolled his eyes but quickly made his way towards the cupboard labelled ‘confectioneries’. Curious, I hesitated, not wanting to be found, but Matt had taken out his DS Lite, heavily preoccupied— so I followed after in silence. Mello rummaged through the contents of the walk in cupboard rather haphazardly, before taking three bars of chocolate. It was no secret the successor had a liking for chocolate, most of the time I saw him he was eating it anyways.

When he left to converse with Matt, I rummaged through the contents as well, picking out a bar of chocolate. This should last me a while. I looked up, noticing it had gone silent, the only noise in the room was the whirring of the mechanisms in the walk in freezer next to me.

As soon as I turned around, the two were gone. My heart raced as I exited the cupboard and shut it frantically. Had they just left me alone?! I couldn’t complain, they didn’t know I was there. I quickly ran out of the kitchen and shut the door. As soon as I did I was met by the not so friendly face of the last person I had expected to see. Roger stood in front of me, pushing his half moon glasses up his sunken face.

“My office. Now.” Roger demanded. I dropped the chocolate bar in slight horror. This was all a misunderstanding! Sure, I did steal a chocolate bar, but I had just been caught at the wrong place at the wrong time. I dropped hesitantly followed Roger, playing with my fingers as I did. I looked back at the open kitchen door and noticed a tuft of blonde hair sticking out from the end of the hallway. I tensed up and looked back at Roger, feeling embarrassed that the true thieves must’ve caught me sneaking in behind them.

----

I sat in Roger’s office, still quite dazed about the current events that were occurring. He sat in front of me, scrutinising my every movement as I took a look around his office. There were terrariums filled with insects on his shelves, attempting to climb out the jars. Roger must’ve been an expert at keeping things locked up. Despite being the manager at the orphanage, he didn’t seem too fond of children. It felt more like a chore than a blessing to take care of us, I was guessing.

The walls had pictures of beautifully painted insects. Well, in my opinion the insects weren’t ‘beautiful’, but the paintings were. Most of the books on his shelf were about insects as well, how could someone be so passionate about something? He also had an open case which seemed to be a collection of butterflies, pinned to stay in place. I couldn’t help but feel terrible since they were dead, but then again, if they were alive that situation would’ve been much worse. My eyes darted to the only odd thing in the room, a spider cup that sat on his desk. The colours of the spider were red and blue, similar to ones I used to see in stores before I got here. If I could recall, they were from a comic book? It was kind of ironic that Roger seemed to be a fan of this sort of thing.

“What were you doing after curfew?” He asked, even though he probably had an idea on what I was doing. I said nothing, wanting to get my story straight. My silence must’ve made Roger’s patience wear thin.

“Y/n, I’m not going to sugarcoat this for you. Do you know how irresponsible you’ve been, taking from the kitchen? You’re not doing well in this institute and you go ahead and break the rules which I have specifically set out for everyone?” He said, his voice growing harsher by the sentence.

I gathered my thoughts, wanting to protest that it wasn’t me who’s been taking the sweets from the kitchen.

“I saw the kitchen door open so I just took a peek, sir…” I mumbled meekly, not liking the tone of my voice. It made me look guilty— well, guiltier than I was.

I heard rustling noises behind me. The door swung open and two figures stumbled in, an older woman behind them. I recognised her as Arielle— head of the nursing department, although she did much more than that without credit. The two figures in front of her I recognised as Matt and Mello. They must’ve been caught trying to escape.

“I saw these two outside during curfew, Roger.” She said, her voice sweet. Although those two didn’t seem to think so, since the blonde was glaring daggers at her and the brunette was looking away, unbothered by this ordeal. Roger sighed and stood up, causing both of them to take the hint and sit down on the chairs either side of me. Roger nodded to dismiss Arielle.

“What on earth is going on with you two?!” Roger exclaimed, his patience finally running out. His voice seemed harsher towards them than it was me. Shivers ran down my spine as Roger continued to go on a tangent on how irresponsible the two were. I couldn't help but wonder why he was harsher on them than he was on me.

“Sneaking out after curfew? You two are successors! You can’t be a bad example for the other students! Do you know how much money we’ve spent on your education?”

Judging by how upset Roger was, this wasn’t the first time they’ve been scolded. Mello immediately stood up and banged his fists on the table. The books shifted a little and Roger's little spider cup fell, spewing the pens it was holding all over the table.

“You’re not being fair, Roger! How come Near gets to go to the library after hours and we don’t?!” The blonde yelled, his voice matching the intensity of Roger’s.

“Mello!” Roger exclaimed, standing up from his seat and banging the table with as much force as Mello had previously. The younger boy seethed before sitting back down. He crossed his arms over his chest, his loathing towards Roger more than evident.

“Arielle caught you two lingering in the hallways, not at the library. And care to explain why at the same time, I caught y/n sneaking out of the kitchen?!” Roger asked.

“You seriously think we’d join in with the likes of her?” Mello mumbled. Ouch, I knew I wasn’t smart enough to be in this institute but he didn’t have to blatantly say it like that.

“One of you three is going to fess up as the thief and if you don’t, I’ll just have to punish the three of you!”

We all stayed silent. One minute went by, then two. I was counting down the seconds for the third minute when…

“I did it,” A voice on my left said. It certainly wasn’t as harsh as Mello’s. Matt propped his feet up on Roger’s desk and leaned back on his chair. He smirked at Roger, seemingly proud of himself, but I could tell his true intention was to protect Mello, considering what I had heard in the kitchen.

Roger sighed, looking at Matt through his dull glasses, which I had just noticed made his colourless eyes much more grey than it needed to be. He didn’t care if Matt was telling the truth, he looked relieved that one of us had fessed up. He took out a calendar book and flipped through the contents before pointing at a particular event.

“You’re now banned from going to our annual outing in July.” Roger said, placing his chin on his hands.

Matt didn’t look phased, however Mello was livid.

“What?! Why the hell not? It was just a bit of sweets and now he can’t go to the outing?!” Mello protested in anger.

“This is just the consequence of breaking the rules. Not to mention, checking Matt’s records his presence in class has been far lower than expected!” Roger huffed. Matt scoffed and folded his arms, an annoyed face painted over his usually lively one.

Then my whole world shook when Mello turned his face towards me. He stared at me up and down, as if trying to find the best excuse to pin the blame on me.

“You saw y/n at the kitchen and you still think Matt’s the thief? Not to mention, she’s been threatened for expulsion several times in the past 3 years!” Mello argued. I felt my face go hot with anger. It was true, Wammy’s was a place of adolescence, nurturing orphans with gifts, or turning them into the next L. I, however, was threatened for expulsion because I had no gift. Even if I had one, Roger would most definitely not spend his time and money helping me find it. It was ‘too late’ for me, I was already 13. My question was, how did Mello know that?

Roger was silent. I knew he was contemplating about everything. He sighed and glared at the three of us.

“You… have a point.” Roger said, checking a red portfolio with my name on it. He lowered his half-moon glasses to read the words and stared back at me. I rubbed the palm of my hand with my thumb anxiously. I knew what he was thinking. He was contemplating on whether to let go of me, maybe find an orphan that is talented. He looked at Mello and Matt.

“I’ll let Matt go on one condition,” Roger said, begrudgingly. Matt had looked up in interest, taking his feet off the table and leaning forward. He didn’t seem to care about the outing, but now that he had an opportunity to go, he was interested. Mello had relaxed slightly, probably thinking that whatever it was he would be able to deliver.

“You give me a reason as to why she should stay in this institute.” Roger said, pointing his pen at me.

----

Another while of Mello protesting, he finally decided it was pointless to get out of that punishment. I suppose one look at Matt and thinking about his situation caused him to stay quiet about everything else. Roger dismissed us from his office and I nervously followed after the two, wanting to know how on earth they would help me find a reason to stay here.

“Hey—“ I was cut off immediately by Matt’s yawn. He looked at Mello with a smirk, wanting to tease his friend about the situation.

“So, what do we do about her?” Matt asked, looking back at me with a bored expression. Not that I took it personally, Matt was often bored and constantly needed stimulation in his brain to keep him going. He stared at me through his slightly foggy goggles. He always wore those things, it was a mystery what his eyes looked like. He stopped abruptly in his tracks and turned around completely so I was standing, faced towards him now.

“Leave it, Matt. She can find her talent herself and we’ll just take the credit,” Mello said, grabbing onto the back of Matt’s sweater and pulling him away from me. Matt flashed him a slightly concerned expression, but he didn’t complain. I frowned and followed them as they kept walking back to their rooms. I found it rather offensive that Mello thought it was so easy to just have a talent like that, but not everyone was as well versed in everything like he was.

“I’m not going anywhere,” I said, standing my ground as I continued to walk after those two, my feet heavy on the ground as they slowed to a stop. Matt shrugged, not exactly caring about the situation. But then he thought for a while and looked over at Mello with a slightly pleading expression.

“Come on, Mels! I can’t go to the outing if we don’t help her!” He whined, shaking Mello by his shirt. Mello stared at Matt with his usual annoyed expression, although there was a hint of compliance in it. I could only catch it quickly because it only lasted a second.

Mello hesitated before looking back at me with that same scrutinising gaze he held when we were at Roger’s office. I stared into his piercing aquamarine eyes before looking away, afraid I’d probably turn into stone if i looked at them too much.

“Library, 4pm.” He huffed before walking down the hall on the right, entering a door numbered ‘11’ and slamming it behind him. I could’ve sworn I heard him curse from behind the door, probably because he injured himself on the way inside. I couldn’t help but feel a sense of satisfaction when I heard it.

He had left Matt and I alone in the hall.

I had never had a private interaction with Matt, mainly because we were in different classes. I didn’t have any reason to talk to him either. Unlike the other successors, he was much more carefree. Always skipping classes but constantly passing them with flying colours, I couldn’t help but envy him.

I was lost in my thoughts, not realising he had disappeared. Just great. Was I so uninteresting that he couldn’t even bother to hold a conversation with me? Whatever, my exhaustion was catching up to me so I turned to the left and walked down the hall, standing in front of a door labelled ‘36’. I took my keys out and stuck it into the keyhole.

I entered my bedroom, locking it behind me and flopped on the bed in the corner, staring at the ceiling as I thought about today’s events. Closing my eyes, I decided it was best to rest for now and think about what to do tomorrow… Until I heard the lock from my door make some noise. I immediately shot up and stared at it in slight horror.

In instinct, I picked up the closest object I could find— a mathematics textbook that was on functions that was way bigger than it needed to be. I had borrowed that from the library, although it was nearing the overdue date. I watched as the perpetrator swung the door open and I immediately whacked them with the book. I heard a loud groan, looking the figure as he rubbed his sore, freckled nose. Matt?

“Geez! A warm welcome would’ve been much nicer…” He teased, inviting himself in without my permission. I stared at him in blatant confusion. Why was he here? Better yet, why did he pick my lock..?!

“You look like you’ve seen ghost,” Matt said, sitting at the foot of my bed, not even bothering to ask if it was okay. For some reason, I didn’t feel annoyed by his action. Maybe it was part of his demeanour.

“It’s not everyday someone breaks into your room.” I retorted, placing my book back on my desk and sitting on my chair.

“Would you have opened the door?”

“Touché…”

Matt chuckled and laid back on my bed, placing his arms behind his head as he stared at the ceiling.

“The old man’s really getting on my nerves,” Matt snickered, a smirk on his freckled face. It was the usual look he wore, so no surprises there. He tossed me a bar of chocolate and I caught it, fumbling slightly. I recognised the bar, it was the one i had dropped earlier.

“I’m gonna guess the old man is still going to ban sweets for the next week, so here’s a gift.”

It was a little half-hearted picking up the object I dropped and calling it a gift, but he looked genuine so I let it slide.

“Why are you really here?”

“To thank you,” He said, sitting up from his position.

“You can’t thank me if I haven’t done anything,” I was slightly confused by his words, why bother thanking me when I hadn’t done anything yet?

“Besides, my efforts might be fruitless in the end.” I mumbled with slight discouragement.

“You got Mello to comply with you, that’s a pretty great start,” He reasoned, shrugging his shoulders.

“You got Mello to comply with me. By what, whining and complaining?”

“If I could get what I want from Mello by complaining, don’t you think I would’ve done that more?” Matt questioned back. I hesitated. He had a point there, if he was as whiny as he displayed in the hall more often, Mello would most likely distance himself from him. Then again, Mello couldn't exactly afford to distance himself from Matt, considering he only had one friend. There were holes in his argument, but I couldn't bring myself to point them out.

Matt snorted when he realised he had won that little argument. As if he wasn’t expecting to. He sniffed before pushing himself off my bed and walking around, again, without permission. He seemed eager to touch everything in my room, the dull brown curtains that blocked any sort of sunlight wanting to enter the room, the empty photo frame on my desk, the small plain bookshelf with old literature snuggled in it.

“Your room’s quite small,” It was true, it was the smallest room in this institute mainly because they prioritise you depending on how important you are. It was no secret that Wammy's was an institute for the gifted, a place for those who had a passion for relentless learning. For someone like Matt, it would be no surprise that his room is twice the size of mine.

“I hadn’t noticed,” I mumbled sarcastically. I looked up at Matt and despite my attitude towards him, he still held that cheery demeanour of his. I immediately felt a pang of guilt. I wasn’t exactly being the best host for him, even though he practically broke himself in. Speaking of which...

“Easy to break in, too.”

Never mind.

“It’s getting late,” I said, hoping he’d take the hint and leave.

“It’s only 8:30.” He reasoned. Hint ignored.

After walking around my boring room for a few more minutes, he stopped at the bookshelves and trailed his fingers on the books. He paused in front of a book with a black cover, in the spine was the title of the book 'Dracula'. Now that I thought about it, his sharp canines sort of reminded me of Dracula's. Maybe if we ever became friends, I'd suggest it as a Halloween costume.

After a few seconds, he decided to open the door and step out. Before he did, he smirked and looked in my direction.

“I look forward to finding out why you’re here.” He grinned. My eyes lightened a bit, as he said those words. At that specific moment, I realised he might have been the only one in this institute had the heart to help me. After being sour all night, I finally felt my lips tug into a small smile. He might've been quite odd, but he sure was open about it.

“Alright, then.”

----

Matt closed the door behind him, leisurely walking back to his room. He knew no one would be wandering the halls, even though it was quite early in the night— for him, anyways. He reached out and twisted the doorknob on the room labelled ‘12’ entering in silence. The first thing he saw was Mello, lying upside down on the bright orange beanbag on the floor. He looked bored. He was holding a dull yellow file in his hands, reading the content over and over again. He looked up from the file and stared at Matt.

“Find anything about her?”

Matt shrugged, flopping onto his bed with a sigh. He turned his body to face Mello on the floor and shook his head before taking off his shoes and tossing them to the other side of the room, earning a disgusted look from Mello. He ignored that face and spoke.

“She seems normal enough. Probably more normal than the wacky kids here.” Matt said nonchalantly as he stretched on the bed. Mello looked at his squirmy friend, knowing that Matt couldn’t afford not to move constantly. He stared down at the yellow folder and threw it in Matt’s direction.

“The most interesting thing in her file are the words ‘Family members: DECEASED’. Hell— we’re in an orphanage, I could tell you that myself!” Mello scoffed as Matt picked the file and shook it, only a piece of paper falling out with the bare minimum of information written on it. Height, weight, all the boring things. “She’s obviously hiding something…”

“That’s an interesting find, hiding something, huh?” Matt raised an eyebrow, slightly intrigued by that revelation. He sat up, a smirk on his lips from this newfound knowledge.

“So what do you think she’s hidin’? Is she like a secret genius or what?"



Mello rubbed his temples and sat up, his eyebrows furrowing slightly as he looked at his friend like he had lost his mind. He shook his head and stood up, picking up his jacket from one of the many messy piles of clothes on the floor in Matt's room. Mello put his jacket on and extended an arm toward's Matt, gesturing for him to pass the file over.

"At this point, we'll be lucky if she even stays in this school before midterms," Mello mumbled, taking the folder in his hands and stuffing it inside his jacket before zipping it up. The jacket was long, definitely oversized for someone his age. However, it was common for students to be wearing baggier clothes, since they didn't leave the school often. "I'll take this back to Arielle's office, you try and think of how we can get her to stay at this institute."

"Yeah, whatever." Matt sighed, annoyed that he had to deal with the harder part of the job. He extended his arm and reached for his DS, picking it up and attempted to turn it on. When it wouldn't, he looked up at Mello with a less than impressed expression. "Good one, give me back my battery, Mels!"

Mello looked away, not wanting Matt to see the obvious look of amusement on his face. The blonde tied his long hair into a ponytail before opening the door. The chilly air from the halls quickly rushed in, turning Matt's once warm room cold.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

----

If you must know, being unable to breathe sucks.

I stood in the middle of the empty field outside my home. I was back. I couldn't make sense of this place, it all seemed so uncanny. The grass looked much greener than the grass at the orphanage, much more alive and well, healthy. Then again, children used to see things much clearer. Through rose coloured glasses. For all I knew, the grass could be dead, dried out and shrivelled up. My tiny little brain wouldn't be able to tell the difference anyways.

Much like the grass, the sky was a deep light blue, not an inch of clouds in sight. It was a rather warm sunny day, and usually I'd be thrilled about this. Instead I felt unease, nauseated at the sight of the bright sky. The heat made me sick, the green grass made me sick, everything made me feel sick. It felt like my body wasn't my own anymore. I was in a mere vessel of someone who appeared to be me.

I looked to the left to see a house. The house looked awfully small, considering the distance I was to it. I must've been in the back garden. I recognised this place, but I couldn't exactly pinpoint what— why I was here. The house was overgrown, un-plucked weeds stuck out from the base of the house, vines from the tree nearby fell onto the windowsill.

I didn't even notice the tight grip on my arm. I looked up at the boy holding onto it. His features looked similar to mine, I couldn't help but touch my face as I looked at him. I was a copy and paste.

He led me towards the edge of a lake in the back garden. The lake looked bottomless and anxiety immediately shot through my body. I watched as he took off his shoes and carefully dragged me deeper and deeper into the lake. My bare feet, squishing the soil underneath them. I felt more than uncomfortable. I felt like I knew what was coming for me, but I couldn't bring myself to move. No... I can't move even if I wanted to. This wasn't a dream, this was a memory.

The boy’s eyes were bloodshot, he looked deranged, crazy. His hands slowly reached my hair and pushed my head underneath the water, holding me there, the last thing I heard from him was a half-assed muttered apology. I held my breath, my salty tears mixing in with the water around me. One second, two, three, four... it felt like forever. My hands frantically reached up to push him away from me. Please... Please...

I sat up, sweat dripping down my face. I held my beating heart, wanting to calm myself down before anything. In my own room, under the olive green comforter that was draped over my body, I found myself thinking about what just happened. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced. No... it was more real, more concrete in comparison to the bursts of memories I'd usually experience. It left a bitter taste in my throat as I thought about that moment over and over again. I ran my fingers through my hair as I decided. I needed to get this out of my head. I needed to bury this memory.

I needed a change of scenery.

Chapter Text

November 13th, 2003

I dug through the closet in my dimly lit room, the only light was provided by a small, moon-shaped night lamp I was gifted 2 Christmases ago. I found a hoodie that was stuffed and messily tucked at the back of the closet. Pulling it over my blue pyjamas, I grabbed the lamp and unlocked my door, stuffing my keys into the pockets of my hoodie and leaving the room in silence. 

I looked up at the clock that was hanging at the end of the hallway. 12:18am. If I was caught now, I would be punished severely. I tried to push that thought out of my mind as I took a right, disappearing into a long corridor.

I felt my way through the dusty halls of Wammy's, noticing the rustic decor of the area. There were succulents, arranged in a neatly fashion— one between two windows. I approached a door that was at the end of the corridor and pushed it open, revealing a large space. A cathedral. My footsteps echoed through the room as I took in the shape of the narrow arches, the lamps, perched on the overhead beams. They emitted a soft, comforting glow in my moment of darkness. I walked to the pew in the second-back row and sat down. I lifted my knees to my chest before flopping to my side, my body slowly succumbing to its exhaustion.

I woke up to the tolling of the cathedral bells. The bells rang six times, indicating 6:00 in the morning. I yawned and stretched my body. I had breakfast in 30 minutes, so I had to force myself to wake up or I'd be in trouble yet again. I stared at the cross that was placed at the front of the room. The cathedral was the only place I could be at peace with myself. The rest of the buildings in orphanage were solely for the purpose of studying, so many students occupied those spaces. Wammy's was built around the cathedral, and the orphans here weren't religious so they usually never set foot in this place. That was only one of the two reasons why I came here.

The second reason as to why I come was because it held one of the only memories I had of my mother. She always came to places like these often, mumbling about repentance. I didn't fully understand it, based on my limited memory. I remembered her being a lovely woman. 

Then again, I've just proven to myself that my memories weren't the most reliable.

I stared outside the window on my left, looking at the glow of the faint snow fall down in the slight darkness. The windows here were translucent, so I couldn't see exactly what was happening outside. However, the place was quiet. Peaceful. I enjoyed this.

After a few more minutes of my solemn tranquility, I stood up from the pews, wanting to get ready for breakfast. I only managed to take a few steps forward when something, no, someone had caught my eye. There was a figure, sitting on the pews at the very front row. All I could see was a tug of neat blonde hair, tucked behind the structure of the cathedral.

Mello.

I walked closer, curious to see what he was doing. He had his head down in thought, only when I got closer I could see that the blonde was holding the end of an object that hung around his neck. As he clenched and unclenched his fists, I noticed what it was. A rosary. I couldn't help but wonder to myself if he was religious. Or perhaps the rosary was a gift from someone. Maybe he was on the same boat as me. I was snapped out of my thoughts when I saw him staring at me. Embarrassed that I had been caught, I pretended I was just trying to find a seat and awkwardly sat next to him.

It wouldn't hurt to try and initiate some sort of conversation, right?

"My mother liked going to church," I mumbled, my eyes directed at the large cross at the front of the cathedral. I didn't dare take my eyes off it, wanting to look more unbothered than I actually was.

He seemed quite taken aback by my sudden remark. Other than yesterday, we had never really spoken to each other. The blonde let go of his rosary and placed his hands on his lap, pulling the sleeves on his black, long-sleeved shirt over his wrists. He was quiet, maybe thinking of a response that wouldn't make him look so eager, or vulnerable.

"You have no gain in telling me this." He bluntly returned. I frowned, yet I couldn't help but feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand up in embarrassment from being told off so straightforwardly.

"Right! Sorry..."

I had finally noticed the cold air had filled the cathedral again. One of the windows was ajar, I was surprised I hadn't noticed that last night. It only added to the icy cold tension that was between the both of us right now. I looked away from the cross, turning my head to face him. He was staring back, was he doing that this whole time? He looked at me up and down with a questioning look, looking as if he wanted to ask about something. He sighed but decided not to give in to his intrusive thoughts, instead giving in to my attempts to ease the atmosphere in this place.

"You're here early. Why?" He asked. It was a simple and boring question, but I was grateful he was at least trying to have a conversation.

"Bored... I guess," I answered, not wanting to tell him that I came here because of a horrifying memory. We weren't friends. Just two individuals forced to comply with each other; purely so we could both get something out of the less than satisfying situation Roger had put us in. He seemed unfazed by my short response, like he was expecting it.

"You don't come here a lot." He shifted his body back to lean on the pew, his aquamarine eyes still staring into mine.

"I come here more than the other kids, if thats anything..."

Mello raised an eyebrow, a slight scoff escaping his lips.

"Fair enough, but you don't come here as often as I do." His voice was sharp, slightly harsh if you ask me. Although, it didn't sound like he was making an attempt to brag about it. Yet, I had thought of a response to counter him.

"It's not a competition, if you must know." I retorted, fiddling with my fingers.

"No, but it's a way of making conversation. You know what a conversation is, right?" He asked plainly, looking quite disinterested. Yet I couldn't point out why he was. Maybe this was an attempt to throw me off. The blonde shifted in his seat again. I couldn't tell if he was genuinely trying to converse with me or if he was just doing this for his own entertainment. "I do find it interesting that you're making an attempt to talk to me."

I heard a shift in his voice. His tone was curious, a stark contrast to his candid words from before. Though he still held that indifferent look.

"I find it interesting that you're humouring me," I returned, feeling my expression soften at the sight of him after hearing his tone. 

"Don't get over your head. I'm just being polite, considering I have to help you now..." He mumbled, darting his towards the open window and scoffed, tugging on his sleeve again. He must've been cold.

"R-right..."

We sat in silence for another minute.

"You're quiet." He stated.

"I think you're just bad at making conversation." I refrained myself from chuckling.

He scoffed and stood up. He grabbed his jacket from under the pew and draped it over his shoulder. He took a few steps forward, I swore I caught a small smile from him.

"Humorous, coming from a pipsqueak..."

Pipsqueak?!

He walked out of the cathedral with heavy footsteps. I watched as he slowly got further and further away, opening the heavy doors and disappearing. I immediately remembered that breakfast was shortly after. I looked down at myself, still in my plain, blue pyjamas. I came straight here in the middle of the night. I froze as I thought back to a few minutes ago, when Mello had given me his questioning look.

Dammit...!

I got up and ran to the door, wanting to catch up with it before it closed.

----

The dining hall was loud, condensed with the other kids at the house. I carefully placed my bag on one of the empty seats in the long table, the one at the farthest end. Unfortunately for me, the other kids tended to hang around those with similar talents or interests as them. I was all alone, as usual. I got up and picked up a tray, peering over the crowd of students who were standing in line for breakfast. Eventually, after a long while of waiting, I had reached the front of the line.

They were serving waffles today. It was neatly placed on the plate, a dollop of whipped cream on top with two fresh strawberries next to it. Roger must've been feeling generous as to lift the 'no sweets' ban, considering what went down the night before.

I extended an arm to grab a plate when I suddenly felt someone jab my side. I winced and stumbled slightly, turning my head to whoever had taken my spot in line.

"Watch where you're going, you're cutting in the line!" The voice mocked, turning towards me with an ugly grin on his face. I felt my face turn red with anger.

Teo, placed ninth at this institute. He was constantly ridiculing those who were beneath him in ranking. Honestly, even though it was quite impressive he was placed 9th, he didn't have to rub it in anyones faces. It seemed as if every year he picked a new, talentless victim to torment. For me, I've faced the brunt of his antics for 4 years in a row.

Perhaps 5, if I managed to make it to September.

"Maybe you should find pair of glasses." He snickered, turning back to his shorter friend, Benji.

"Maybe you should find a personality..." I murmured.

Teo didn't take that comment lightly.

I walked back to the front of the line, where he had pushed me off, only to be shoved by him again.

"Want me to tell everyone you're cutting?"

"I wasn't cutting!" I hissed, glaring back at him.

"HEY! I said stop cutting the line!" He yelled at the top of his lungs. As soon as he did, the dining hall had quieted down. I felt my muscles tense and I clenched my jaw, my grip on the tray had tightened. Yet, my heart raced in growing discomfort. I was mortified by how far Teo would go to make me look bad in front of the other kids. I shamefully walked to the back of the line, feeling my ears turn pink.

When I had finally reached the front of the line again, I quickly placed my plate of waffles, along with a cup of hot cocoa on the tray. I headed towards my bag on the table in the far left corner of the dining hall. On the way, I noticed Benji's foot was sticking out, his head was turned away from me, pretending to act innocent. I felt the urge to step on it, but I decided against that thought since I was already in enough trouble than I should be. I sat down at the table, poking at the waffles before sighing.

Would I even have waffles if I was kicked out?

I was so lost in my own thoughts that I hadn't noticed the quiet figure that slipped past me.

Like a ghost, the figure slowly made his way towards the front of the line, much later than everyone else.  After picking up a tray, He turned his head around and turned his head around to scan the room, maybe looking for the most optimal spot. After only a few seconds of standing, he slowly walked a certain direction.

My direction.

I watched as the albino figure situated himself diagonally opposite me on the table of four. Now that I thought about it, I had never seen him in the dining hall, aside from events or mandatory meetings Roger would hold. He pulled his knees up and poked at the waffles on his plate with a pale, delicate hand. His curly, wispy, white bangs covered his eyes as he looked down. So this was Wammy's first successor...

Was this a joke? In all my years at the house I have never talked to Near. To be fair, no one really has. Did he sit on my table out of pity? Or maybe it was the emptiest one in the dining hall. He did seem to be looking for a specific place. And then again, why sit diagonally opposite someone if you're planning on making conversation?

Unlike everyone's waffle, his was in the shape of a square and not a circle. Without bothering to roll up the sleeves on his white, buttoned up shirt, he took the butter knife and carefully cut the waffle along the grid, spreading the whipped cream in the crevices and then started stacking them on top of each other. I stared at him in obvious confusion. Why bother stacking your food if you're just going to eat it? However, cutting the waffles into neat little squares and placing whipped cream in the indentations looked quite appetising. I tried it for myself.

"You're copying me."

I looked up to see the albino staring at me. I could finally see his dark, grey eyes underneath his bangs.

"Ah- I didn't mean to!" I exclaimed. Great, I looked like an idiot in front of the successor. He hummed and looked at the ceiling, in thought.

"It's certainly a better way to eat waffles, isn't it?" He questioned, jabbing his fork into the square on the top of his tower.

He wasn't wrong.

I looked at him inquisitively. He wasn't often seen at the dining hall during breakfast, so why make an effort now? It wasn't a special occasion, was it? Surely he didn't come here just for the sake of waffles, right?

"So uh... you like waffles?" I found myself stupidly asking.

"I don't, I just decided to break my habit of staying indoors on a whim." He said, taking a bite of his waffle, looking at my direction, as if expecting a reaction.

My brain finally clicked after a while of repeating his words in my head.

"Sarcasm?" I asked.

"You're perceptive," Near commented.

"I'm not, really..." I chuckled softly, instinctively playing with my fingers as I did.

"That was also sarcasm." He cleared up. My cheeks flushed slightly, flustered that he had just insulted me so easily. Somehow, I wasn't surprised. after years with Teo, I figured it's pretty easy to insult me.

Our thoughtless conversation was interrupted by someone who had dropped his tray on the table and plopped himself next to me. Although we weren't friends, I had grown accustomed to that wide, cheery grin on Matt's freckled face. I knitted my eyebrows and stood up slightly, looking around at the tables the dining hall. I wants to know if he came here on his own volition or not. Yet, he seemed completely ignorant to the not-so interesting conversation I had with Near.

"Well well well... what do we have here?" He grinned.

Was he really making an effort to talk to me? He must've been a little too enthusiastic about our little ordeal. After all, I was the one doing all the work for his personal gain. Then again, I'd rather one of my mentors be overenthusiastic than both of them being unbothered with my progression.

He leaned closer towards my ear, his voice turning low and secretive.

"Don't worry, I'm here to save you from him..." He whispered, gesturing towards Near with a cheery expression. His voice was way louder than it should've been.

"He's not bothering me, if you're worried about that," I responded, taking a sip of the hot cocoa.

"Sarcasm?"

I nearly spat my hot cocoa out.

Matt leaned back and looked at the two of us, wrinkling his nose. "Are you sure he hasn't made an attempt to bore you with random statistics?"

Near frowned, finally taking part in the conversation, yet he didn't look up from his little tower.

"I can't bore her if we're sitting in silence,"

"Silence is the absolute definition of boring!" Matt countered, leaning slightly forwards on the table. He looked much more interested in the conversation than he was before.

Another voice spoke out.

"You're wrong, the definition of boring is 'Near'"

I looked towards the voice. Mello was hovering his tray over the table. His plate had two waffles, and instead of whipped cream, it was drizzled with chocolate sauce. He sighed and placed it down, sitting on the chair next to Near's reluctantly, since it was the only spot left. I watched as he didn't hesitate to scoot his chair towards the corner of the table— the furthest away from where Near was sitting. I couldn't help but feel bad for Near, even if he couldn't care less.

Near rolled his eyes at Mello's little comment. "There's no need to act immaturely,"

"I could switch if you'd like," I offered Mello.

Mello scoffed and waved his hand dismissively. "Don't bother sticking up for him, he already has Roger."

Near took another bite of his waffles, his gaze flickering towards me in slight gratitude at my attempt to include him. I returned his gaze with a small smile, so the other two wouldn't see it. 

"Hey Matt, don't skip today. I need you in physics." Mello stated, leaving no room for discussion. 

"Why? It's not like physics is a lot of work, Mels!" 

"I'm not asking you to attend the whole day, I need a partner and Beth is busy with history things, or whatever."

Beth? I recognised that name... Beth was the great detective L's fifth successor, I didn't understand why hearing her name from Mello left a bitter taste in my throat.

My moment of turmoil was no more than short lived. When the successors had stopped conversing with each other, I had finally noticed the silence that was emitted around the hall. The orphans had stopped talking. They had stopped talking and they were staring. Staring at our table. Staring at me. I had only just realised the predicament I was in. I, a talentless student, was sharing a table with the top three successors of L. The orphans looked at me with disdain.

It was only 6:50 in the morning, and my day was already at rock bottom.

"They don't usually do that," Matt pointed out, breaking the growing silence in the dining hall.

Good to know I was the problem.

----

My legs moved faster and faster as I continued to run down the long corridor of Wammy's. My heart raced as I paced myself, my body trying to keep up with my urge to run faster and my urge to breathe. Yet I pushed, running through the long, boring, olive hallways of the house. I glanced up at a nearby clock. 4:23. I was late for our session.

I had gotten lost about three times in the hall, not to mention I had stayed back to finalise my notes in my mathematics class. Most of it was just mindless jotting, considering I couldn't even keep up with most of the lessons in the first place. Well, it didn't matter. Math had nothing to do with finding my talent, right?

God, I hope not.

I pushed the doors of the library open, the sudden smell of books had hit my senses at once. The library here was huge, it even had a second level purely for fiction. The majority of the books here were non-fiction, several copies of study books were lined up neatly on each shelf in not only alphabetic, but colour order as well. I wondered who was patient enough to line them up so neatly for the other students.

My questions were answered almost immediately. Walking down the hall, I saw an incoming cart that was rolling down the library. I couldn't even think about running away, the cart of books had crashed right into me. I stumbled back and winced, rubbing my side as I watched a figure catch up with the cart, a little too late.

"I apologise for the inconvenience, the librarian requested I entertained the newcomers," The figure said in a soft, down to earth voice. I looked down to see Near. He was crouched on the floor, picking the books from the ground and placing them back into the cart. I raised my eyebrows at his words. Newcomers?

"What newcomers?" I asked.

"Newcomers to the orphanage," He replied, placing the final book on the cart and shifting the gear with his foot so the cart wouldn't roll. I turned my head to look behind him. There I saw four kids, all under the age of 7, playing with tarot cards in the corner. I had forgotten this institute was also technically an orphanage.

"You volunteered to entertain them?"

"I didn't volunteer, I was..." He looked up, trying to find the right words.

"...Persuaded. Roger has them in here for testing, although after observing them for a while, I highly doubt they'd make it in."

My expression turned somber as I watched the kids continue to play around with the tarot cards in the corner of the library, disturbing the studying orphans around them. Maybe if they didn't join it would be better. I wondered if I was that energetic, or full of life when I was a kid like them. How were they so happy?

Most of all, I never expected Near of all people to be taking part in working with children.

"If you'd like, you could help me research facilities to place them in if they don't make it." Near suggested. Even though it was a tempting offer, his words had sprung me into realisation as to why I was here in the first place.

"I'm supposed to be at a session," I clarified sheepishly, following after him as he kicked the gear so the cart would roll again. He walked to a shelf and picked up a book, hesitating before putting it in the middle of all the other books with the exact same cover.

"Why place it in the middle if they're the same book?" I asked, continuing to follow him like a lost puppy.

"They're placed in order on how well they're taken care of," He said, placing his finger on the end of the shelf and tapping the final book. "This one's the most ruined."

I picked up the book and opened it. 'Ruined' was far from an understatement. There was only a folded corner in the contents page.

"That's... pretty ruined alright," I chuckled, finding his perfectionism quite hilarious. He looked away, a small tint of pink spreading across his pale cheeks.

"On your left," Near said, informatively.

"Huh?"

"Mello and Matt are on your left." He stated, picking the book off my hands and placing it back onto the shelf methodically.

"H-how did you know I was looking for them?" I stuttered.

"They don't often sit with anyone but themselves during breakfast."

Right, breakfast. I cringed internally, feeling slightly guilty that I was turning down near's offer to find the other two, but it was for the best. I looked to my left and meekly started walking in that direction. I turned around to look at Near, waving at him.

"I'll see you around?" I asked, hoping he'd reply positively.

He grunted softly in return, swivelling the cart back to the small kids.

I felt my pace quicken as I took a glance at a nearby clock. 4:31, I was in for it now. I headed towards the direction that Near pointed at, in the corner booth of the library sat Matt and Mello. I watched absentmindedly as the two boys minded their own business. 

Matt was sprawled on a chair, lying down sideways, as if he had never sat on a chair before. He looked quite relaxed, his brunette bangs were swept onto the side of his face so he could see. His ears were plugged with headphones, his goggles were on his forehead, and he was squinting his eyes as he continued to mash buttons on his DS.

Meanwhile, Mello was diligently studying. His eyes were focused onto the paper as he continued to solve equations in silence. He was in his own little bubble, occasionally poking at Matt to study, his words falling on deaf ears. He had a half-eaten chocolate bar next to him. He peered up to look at the clock, only to see I was standing and staring at him. His gaze hardened almost immediately, slightly judging. I could see the way his expression had tensed up, his defined nose wrinkling at the sight of me, it was clear he had more important things to do than to help me, but he decided not to speak up about it. 

"You're late, pipsqueak." He said, disparagingly. Great start.

"I was busy with my notes," I mumbled defensively, taking a seat opposite Mello. Matt looked up and flashed me a wide grin, his freckles looked more evident now that we were under a bright light. Without warning, Mello grabbed my bag and dumped the contents on the table. My books spewed out of my bag and I immediately grabbed it back.

"What on earth are you doing?!" I exclaimed, watching as he picked up my mathematics book and read through the contents.

"Want me to dumb it down for you?" He asked, although the question was rhetorical. "You're too old to just have a talent. Talents don't work like that."

"I thought—"

"Whatever you thought, you thought wrong. Everyone here worked for their stupid position," Mello's eyes immediately darted towards Matt, who was lazily mashing buttons on his DS.

"Almost everyone..."

Matt stuck his tongue out at Mello.

"I'm not deaf!"

Mello rolled his eyes before scanning my copied and pasted math notes, ignoring the rest of the books that were spilled onto the table. I took the opportunity to place them in a pile, so I had room to relax my arms on the table. Flipping through the pages, his expression soured and I tensed up, taking my arms off the table since I felt like I had no right to be so casual when he was looking at my work with such disdain. Was I really that hopeless?

"This..." He started, taking a bite of his chocolate. I held my breath.

"At least you're not stupid." He said, causing me to exhale in slight relief."

T-that's good to know..." I stuttered.

"But why on earth are you here?" He asked me. A shiver ran down my spine at his words as I started to contemplate everything. Why was I here? Why... why was I at Wammy's? I rubbed the back of my neck in embarrassment as I tried to articulate my words, failing miserably.

"I don't know..." I mumbled. I heard a scoff as he turned to Matt, unplugging his headphones from the DS. Loud music blasted from the device almost instantly. Matt fumbled with his DS and turned it off, looking at Mello with a pout.

"You better have a good explanation as to why you stopped me from defeating that stupid monkey." He huffed.

"Pay attention," Mello reprimanded, pushing Matt off the chair and pulling him to sit on the bench. Matt grunted, yet he knew he couldn't argue about being roped into this. Mello gave him an exasperated look.

"I think we'll have to do your idea."

"Wow, how crazy." Matt smirked, sitting up on the chair as he placed his goggles back over his eyes looking at me with interest.

"I hope you're not tired. We have a lot of work to do." Mello said. I stared at the two, confused as to why they're being so cryptic.

"What?! What's going on?" I asked, desperate to know what they had in store for me.

Matt leaned forwards, a wide smirk on his face.

"Talents don't appear overnight, M'lady." He explained, his little nickname for me causing my heart to race. Yet I didn't dwell on it.

"S-so what are we going to do?" I asked frantically.

Mello sighed, as he begrudgingly got ready to reveal the idea that he and Matt had thought up of the night before. He looked at me with his piercing aquamarine eyes again, yet there was a slight sense of determination in them.

"We're going to turn you into a successor."

----

The rules here were simple. You're either the best at what you do, or you're well versed in whatever challenge these people put you up to. There were only a total of 5 people in the successor programme at Wammy's. However, after today, the both of them were definitely sure I wasn't going to make it.

I was slumped over the table, head down as I slept peacefully. The time was 9:45, an hour and a half past curfew. We had been studying for hours on end, skipping dinner in the process. Honestly, the nap I was getting was most definitely well rewarded, considering it was harder to wait for the right moment to conk out in front of those two compared to memorising dozens of equations. I was half asleep, so I could vaguely hear snippets of their conversation.

Mello rolled his eyes before sitting back down. He had taken the session a little too seriously, and now it was way past curfew. He looked over at Matt with a deadpanned expression. Matt was still crouched on the ground, the music from the game 'Donkey Kong Land' playing, his DS currently being one of the only light sources in the library.

I felt a prod at my shoulder and I looked up, my eyes were hazy. All I could see was a faint, blurry silhouette of the blonde in front of me.

"You're tired already?!" He asked, incredulously.

I could only mumble a half assed response. Mello scoffed, continuing to poke my head with a pencil, keeping me awake.

A sudden shift was heard from behind one of the books and both boys flinched. Matt looked up from his game, flashing the screen it at the intruder in the library. As soon as the light hit, the intruder dropped the book he was holding and covered his face, shielding himself from the sudden flash. He squinted, looking over his arm at Matt. It was clear by his buttoned up, white pyjamas and pale skin that the figure was Near.

"You can stop pointing that bright light at me," He mumbled, although it sounded more like a suggestion than a demand.

"Wow, out after curfew? I'm impressed considering you're a goody two shoes." Matt snickered.

Near huffed and picked up the book, placing it back on the shelf. "I happen to be studying. I assume you two are loitering yet again?"

"Assume differently, dumbass." Mello retorted, rather loudly.

Near glanced at the table. The notes were messy, some of the worksheets were falling down the table. He hadn't said anything at first, just scanning the scene with his deep, grey eyes. Then he finally spoke up, wanting to implement his thoughts into this whole ordeal.

"Are you positive you should be staying awake?" He asked me, his voice laced with slight conviction. I looked at him and tilted my head.

"Why shouldn't I be?"

I tried to stifle another yawn but failed. My eyelids felt heavy but i did my best to try and keep them open, not wanting to face the consequences from Mello if I decided to doze off again. After all, I did owe him for putting up with me for five hours.

"You look like you're about to drop, pipsqueak," Mello stated. I immediately shot up.

"Drop?! D-drop as in my grades?! I can't afford to—"

"Just go to sleep..." He finally sighed. I felt my heart raced at his moment of pity, now was my chance! I slumped my head on the table and dozed off almost immediately. The moment my head hit the table with a loud 'thump', there was a voice behind the four of us that boomed with equal fervour.

"WHAT on earth are you three doing past curfew again?!" The voice called out. Mello tensed up and quit poking my head with the pencil, looking back at the figure. Roger was glowering at the three of us, ignoring Near as he continued to look through a shelf nearby. His favouritism was more than evident.

"We're studying, old man. You're the one who wanted us to 'give you a reason to let her stay here'" Matt shot back, using quotation marks when mimicking Roger.

"Don't call me that! Just... get out of here..." He sighed, clearly having no energy to argue with Matt or Mello a second day in a row. Roger disappeared in sight, muttering under his breath, something about questioning his life choices. Matt snorted, but Mello shot him a glare so he wouldn't holler an insult at Roger again.

Matt got up and pocketed his DS, I felt him poke at my head, yet I still refused to wake up.

"We have to get her to leave somehow..."

----

My eyes fluttered as I remained deep in sleep, I was in the library, studying independently when all of a sudden I felt a sharp pain in my arm. Then both of my arms. I turned back to see nothing, but whatever was holding onto me was dragging me away from the library. I fell to the ground, the hard, wooden floor cold even under my shirt. I couldn't move as I moved farther and farther away from where I was studying...

I suddenly snapped myself awake to see the predicament I was in.

I laid on the cold hard floor, looking up at the ceiling, trying to make sense of which hall I was in. The lights were dim, but I could still make out what was happening. Both Mello and Matt were holding my wrists as they continued to drag me onto the floor, Near was following behind, holding not one, two, but all three of our bags. Feeling flustered, I jumped up almost instantly.

"W-what the hell?!" I exclaimed, dusting the dirt off my clothes that had been collected from the floor.

Matt snickered, folding his arms at my flustered expression.

"You're awake!" He chirped, blatantly stating the obvious. I watched as Mello tapped on his shoulder and grabbed his bag off Near, not bothering with Near's obvious exhaustion from holding all the bags.

"Good, you can go to bed yourself." Mello stated, dusting his hands. I was obviously red in the face, but somehow it was more comforting to think that they didn't decide to leave me in the library. Near dropped the bags with a loud 'thunk', lifting his hands to play with his pristine, white hair.

"I'm no longer involved with this ordeal. Goodnight, y/n." He uttered, disappearing behind door 10 in the hall.

"Gee, he could've waited until I grabbed it..." Matt snorted, picking both his and my bag off the ground. He threw my bag at my direction and I caught it, checking inside for all my books.

"They're in there, pipsqueak. Don't be too paranoid." Mello stated, heading towards door 11. He closed it behind him and I stood there in silence, alone in the hall with Matt, like yesterday. He was grinning at me, expecting me to say something. I was flustered, so I couldn't help but say the first thing that came to mind— what I wanted to tell him if we became friends. This was close enough to a conversation, right?

"D-Dracula!" I stuttered awkwardly. Matt tilted his head, wrinkling his nose in confusion.

"Dracula? You mean the book in your shelf from yesterday?" He asked. I nodded, feeling way too eager to tell him my thoughts than I should've.

"For Halloween you should dress up as Dracula." I stated. He snickered and looked at me with a baffled expression.

"What brought this up?"

"Your teeth are sharp."

He laughed out loud.

"HAHAHA!"

I blushed.

He held a hand to his chest, as if trying to stop his beating heart. Walking to door 12, he unlocked it. He looked back at me with a wide grin on his lips, showing off his pointy, perfect canines once more. 

"I'll keep that in mind, M'lady."

Chapter Text

November 14th 2003

It wasn't even the crack of dawn when I woke up.

Recently, I found myself waking up much earlier than I should. It didn't help that it was nearing winter, it meant that more often than not, every time I woke up I would be met with darkness outside and cold winds threatening to infiltrate my room. It was no surprise that today wasn't an exception. I had woken up to darkness, my eyes darting across the room to see if there were any light sources around, yet nothing. Grumbling softly, I twisted my body, extending my arm to look for the string to turn on my moon lamp.

Eventually, I heard a click. The lamp emitted the room with a soft glow of light, although it gave off little to no heat in the process. I shivered and hid under my olive green comforter, rubbing my arms as I thought of a plan to get warm. A few jackets were lying around in my open closet somewhere, maybe it would be viable if I put them all on at once. Then again, it would be an eyesore, to say the least. I groaned and shifted on my bed before poking my head out to brave the cold.

I looked through my closet and found a pale blue, puffy jacket. I remembered the day I got this, it was two years ago at the town down the street from Wammy's. Every six months, we were allowed to go out to the nearby town for an assortment of things. I slipped the jacket on, unbothered to change out of my purple pyjamas. It was a bit small, but it was better than staying in that thin shirt. Maybe the next time I go out I'll get a new one.

I checked the time, 4:45. Dammit, even earlier than usual. I glanced at the half-open bag on the floor. My books were poking out and a pang of anxiety had shot through my veins. Thoughts of yesterday suddenly flooded into my brain. How on earth were Mello and Matt going to turn me into a successor? Even I couldn't see how that was possible. I picked up my bag and zipped it up, swinging it over my shoulder, and letting my thoughts wander.

Was Mello that ambitious?

Maybe he said that to make fun of me.

But then why on earth would he make me study for five hours straight, if not to improve my grades?

I continued to walk down the quiet halls, taking in the decorative, yet neutral wallpaper. It was coated a fresh shade of periwinkle, most likely to trick our minds into thinking we were okay here. Periwinkle was a comforting colour after all. Walking down the halls, I realised I didn't intend on going to a certain place. Yet, I found myself drawn back to the dimly lit library. There was no one inside, and even if there was a teacher there, they of all people wouldn't deny the students time to read. I opened the door with a quiet 'creak', entering the library in the cold of the night.

It was before daybreak, so the thermostat was turned off. I looked around before fiddling with my backpack, holding a flashlight keychain up so I could navigate through the quiet library. I walked upstairs, straight to the fiction section. My eyes trailed over the books. There was only classic literature here. Fantasy, romance, action... they were all limited to the confines of stories from long ago. Not that I minded, I enjoyed those books. Frankenstein, The Picture of Dorian Gray, Dracula... I hovered over the book labelled 'Dracula'.

My mind wandered to my conversation with Matt yesterday. My face instantly flushed and I shifted my hand to pick up a different book. Carmilla, written by Sheridan Le Fanu.

Hovering the flashlight over the book, I headed towards a nearby table and sat down, opening to a random page. I had read this book several times before, it wasn't a popular one, nor was it as interesting as The Great Gatsby, by F. Scott Fitzgerald. I guess the one good thing about the book was that it made monsters look more real.

Overall, the book was boring. But now that I had picked it up I felt obligated to read it.

My eyes adjusted to the soft glow of the light as I grazed over the words of the gothic horror novel in front of me. The silence around me was comforting, yet it was quite foolish to pick up a horror novel in the pitch darkness. So much so, that I hadn't seen or heard the ghostly figure headed my direction.

"Boo."

I flinched and shut the book, raising it towards the silhouette that had decided to scare me.

"Calm down, pipsqueak! It's just me!"

The figure turned on his flashlight, shining in a way so I could see his face. The harsh glow from his flashlight complimented his brash demeanour, and I instantly recognised him as Mello. He looked at me with those aquamarine, almond eyes, his lips pursed into a frown. His blonde hair was combed and neat, I was sure that long-bob cut would be ridiculed anywhere but here. Placing the flashlight down, he picked up the book I was reading and bonked me on the head.

"You're going to spoil your eyes in this darkness," He mumbled roughly, handing the book back to me. I looked up at him inquisitively. 

"Aren't you doing the same thing?" I asked, my eyebrows furrowing at his hypocrisy. Mello scoffed, pulling out a textbook from his bag, opening it, and poking at my shoulder. Even though my shoulder was covered with the puffy jacket, I could still feel his finger hit my shoulder harshly.

"I'm here to study, you should do the same."

"In the dark?" 

"Yes, in the dark. I'd rather you keep quiet." He quipped.

I exhaled softly, watching as he sat opposite me and took out a pen. I stared at my book, realising I had picked it up upside down. Turning it the right way, I went back to reading in the dark. Although, I couldn't help but take short, glances at him from time to time. How his blonde bangs hung over his eyes when he looked down made him look picturesque, like the main subject in an oil painting.

"Is your hobby staring or what?" He asked.

I averted my gaze almost immediately. 

"Sorry about that," I mumbled begrudgingly. Even I couldn't deny it, he sure was demanding...

The silence between us was soon interrupted by a loud snap. Followed by extremely loud chewing. I raised an eyebrow and looked up, watching as Mello unravelled the foil wrapping of his bar of chocolate, snapping a piece off and chewing it every so often.

I felt my stomach growl as I stared at the chocolate he was eating. I clutched my stomach instantly, silently begging for it to stop making that stupid noise.

"Hungry?" He asked, a ghost of a smirk appearing on his face. However, as quickly as it appeared, it disappeared when I caught him.

"I didn't eat dinner yesterday... er— you didn't as well so I'm trying not to complain." 

"Don't try to lump me in with you, I'm used to it," Mello said sharply. I felt my gaze fall slightly, wondering what exactly he meant. However, I couldn't ponder properly because the loud noises from the foil of his bar of chocolate had integrated its way into my brain. I continued to stare at the chocolate as he took little bites of it. That damn chocolate was the only thing I was currently thinking of, my book forgotten.

"What, do you want one?" He asked, looking at me expectantly.

"Maybe!" I perked up slightly at his offer.

"You sound like a kid." He stated, digging through the pocket of his hoodie and throwing a chocolate bar at my head. I just barely caught it, unravelling the foil and snapping a square to take a bite.

"How many bars do you have in there?"

He snorted.

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

"I would like to know." I countered.

Mello sighed and dug through his pockets, dumping out every chocolate bar that was hidden in them. I stared, wide-eyed at the small pile of chocolate that was now set on the table. Was eight chocolate bars really necessary for one day? I picked up a bar on the table and compared it to the one he had given me. They were in the same packaging, both the same flavour of dark chocolate.

"Don't you dare ask." He commanded, yanking the unopened bar from my hand and pocketing the rest again. I shut my agape jaw, not wanting to look like an idiot in front of him, although I was more than sure he had probably thought about that of his own volition. I continued to eat the chocolate he gave me, savouring the bittersweet flavour.

"It's good," I said quietly.

"Of course it is, I wouldn't be eating it otherwise."

"Are you going to eat all eight of them today?

"I'm not an animal! It's for today and tomorrow."

I couldn't help but burst into laughter at his unusual habit.

"Laugh again and I'll take my chocolate back."

I shut up instantly.

He looked back at me with a sense of pride, probably amused at the fact that I had shut up so easily. However, unbeknownst to him, I had shut up purely because I didn't want to risk my stomach rumbling again. I snapped another square and placed the piece in my mouth. We were back to silence again. I continued to look over at Mello as he sped through the textbooks as if the answers were muscle memory to him. He hadn't lifted his pen once unless it was to talk to me, I couldn't help but feel a sense of jealousy towards his intellect.

"You're not going to get any smarter by staring at me," Mello said, satirically.

"I didn't bring my textbook to the library, I wasn't planning on studying," I defended. With slight hesitation, he got up and rolled his eyes, turning to a page in his textbook and dropping it in front of me. He handed me the pen he was using and hovered over my body, pointing at a question.

"What's the general equation?"

I stared at the question. It was some sort of graph, the line looked sorta like an exponential, except it was inverse. I thought back to my math class from yesterday, before writing out the basic equation with my scrawly handwriting. 'y= a log (x+c)+d'

"Good," He started, leaning over my shoulder and pointing at the page. "Now what?"

"I... find the points and put it into the equation?" I asked hopefully.

"Are you asking me or telling me?" He asked.

"Telling you?" I asked again idiotically. He scrunched his nose and I looked back at the paper.

"Telling you." I said, attempting to look more confident than I was.

Drawing the original graph, next to the one in the question, I wrote down all the points I needed to find the equation. My eyes glanced at the completed question next to it, but Mello quickly placed his pale hand over the answer, so I couldn't use any hints. It was only then I had noticed how close he was to me.

My heart raced nervously.

I felt a warm hand on my head. Mello sighed, moving away from my shoulder, causing my heart to calm down again.

"You're not stupid, trust yourself." 

My thoughts were interrupted by his surprisingly reassuring tone. If he said I wasn't stupid, then surely I should have little faith in myself, right? I continued to write in the textbook, writing out my final answer. I looked up at Mello, hoping I had gotten the question right. He stared at it before grabbing the pen and adding a negative in front of the 'x'.

"That was the first step, pipsqueak. Don't forget it next time." Mello scolded, shutting the textbook.

The bells soon tolled six times, indicating six in the morning. They were much quieter here than in the cathedral, much more musical instead. I watched as he packed his book into his bag and stuffed the pen down the pocket of his baggy pants. He hoisted his bag over his shoulder, ignoring the fact that it was half unzipped. I stood up, placing the book I was holding back on the shelf, noticing his gaze on me.

"You should stop leaving in your pyjamas," He pointed out before walking down the stairs. My cheeks reddened as I quickly hurried down after him to go change, stuffing the chocolate in the pocket of my jacket.

----

Breakfast was short, classes were short, and I hadn't seen any of the successors since I saw Mello in the library earlier that morning. I picked up my bag and left my final class for today since my classes ended a period early. I walked through the corridor and looked around. There were students wrapped up in conversations everywhere, it was honestly a headache to keep track of them since most of them weren't in my classes in the first place. I played with the straps on my bag, trying to avoid crashing into anyone.

Unfortunately for me, I had bashed into someone's shoulder. Looking up, I noticed the sour face of Benji. His expression contorted into a frown as he looked down upon him. Goddammit, if Benji was here it meant—

"Watch where you're going, idiot!"

I felt my body slam into a wall, Teo had shoved me with his fist clenched tightly. I scowled at him, pushing his hand away from my shoulder.

"Leave me alone!" I exclaimed defiantly at Teo. However, nervousness had sunken into my body. I stared at Teo's face, his expression more than pissed that I had bumped into Benji. This was probably more trouble than it was worth. Maybe I should just apologise and move on with my day. 

"Just because you're a charity case doesn't mean you have to interfere with other people's studies," Teo announced as he folded his arms, causing a few people to stop walking in the hallway.

"Charity case?!" I exclaimed, staring at the two with contempt. I wasn't stupid, I couldn't be! I was still here after all.

"You don't seriously think you belong here, do you?! You probably got here because Mr Wammy felt bad for you," Teo started, giving me a smirk. His teeth were crooked and his breath smelt. God, did he even know what a toothbrush and toothpaste was? I gave him a disgusted look before pushing him off, not bothering to hide my disscontempt towards him.

"Mr Wammy doesn't do charity cases!" I hissed, moving away, wanting to get to my next class. He didn't do charity cases, did he? He had scouted all these kids and placed them here, there was no way I was an outlier. Yeah, that must be it...

I felt Teo grab my arm and my nostrils flared, instinctively grabbing his wrist to pry him off me. Maybe that might've been the worst mistake I've made today. Benji had pulled my hand away from Teo so Teo could slam me into the wall again. I had intended to dodge his arm, but the people around me had made me frozen in place. I couldn't possibly act when people were staring, it was already embarrassing enough that I was being watched in the first place.

"You're just wasting space. True or false, your room is going to the next orphan that gets accepted into Wammy's?"

"True or false, I'm going to sucker punch you right now!" A voice exclaimed, his voice insouciant. I looked over at the voice, watching as the boy who said those words grabbed Teo's arm and raised a fist to his face. With a loud pow, Teo was on the ground, he wasn't fighting anymore. He clutched his bloody nose, wincing in pain from the blow. I tensed up as I recognised the person who had hit Teo.

"Oops, did I do that?" he chortled. "I thought you were much stronger than that, Teo!" 

Matt was leaning over Teo with a smirk, his gloved hand was supporting him as he leaned on the wall. How could he be so laid back in a situation like this? He had just hit someone in the face! I took a few steps back and flinched when I had bumped into someone. I turned around and saw Mello, an unamused expression on his face.

"I'm just supervising, pipsqueak. Ignore me," He said. This was all so confusing, how on earth were they so calm when they could get in trouble with a teacher at any second? Even worse, how could be they so calm when they could get in trouble with Roger?!

Matt picked up Teo by his ear and grinned.

"So, what now?" He asked Teo.

"Matt, get off," Mello demanded, walking away from the scene. I quickly followed after, not wanting to be left alone.

"I'm not a dog, Mels!" Matt snickered, letting go of Teo's ear. He fell to the ground with a thunk and scrambled away, probably to tell a teacher. I looked at both of them with heavy frustration. Was it really their thing to be so cryptic all the time?

"W-wait a second... aren't you worried he's going to tell Roger?!" I asked. Matt turned his head to me and squinted through his tinted goggles.

"You okay, M'lady?" He teased, using that pert nickname again. "Those dickheads didn't hurt you, right?"

It was the first time I had heard him swear.

"You didn't answer my question,"

"Your question is irrelevant. He started it, so he won't tell." Mello shrugged.

"What if he does tell?" I asked, feeling even more paranoid than usual. Matt sighed and patted my shoulder.

"Is your middle name 'anxiety'?"

"You're not supposed to know my middle name."

"I was kidding," He chuckled. I awkwardly looked away at my own stupidity.

The both of them stopped in front of one of the science rooms labelled 'physics'. They started looking at me expectantly. I was confused, but then I realised it was their last class of the day. I moved away, realising I had just randomly walked with them to a class I wasn't even in. I felt my bag slip off my shoulder and I awkwardly pulled it back up.

"I guess this is goodbye?"

"For now," Matt smiled smugly before following after Mello into the classroom.

----

Free period was rough because I didn't know where to go half of the time. Barely any students had a free period since they did extra subjects, quantity meant everything after all. It meant better averages, in turn, a higher score. The library was occupied by those doing English during this period, so it meant that was a no-go.

I could go to my room for a nap, but then I'd have to just get up and go to the library for my session straight after. And if I were to take a nap, I wasn't set on waking up.

Walking through the empty corridors, I noticed something had walked past me. I instinctively turned back but whatever it was, it was gone. I heard a loud clatter and my curiosity got the better of me. I didn't think, I could only feel my legs moving on its own towards the sound. I turned left on the hall to see a green, floral vase that was slightly chipped from the side, it wasn't even put up properly. Did something knock it down? What if there was a ghost here?!

Pushing those thoughts aside, I sped down the hall, wanting to investigate. There was no way ghosts were real, right? It can't be real! Yet at the corner of my eye I saw a pale figure make its way into the art room. My heart raced as I peeked inside, wanting to confirm my suspicions.

The art room was one of the more unique ones at the house, considering it was one of the only rooms the orphans here were allowed to decorate. The walls were covered in old portraits of people from the more talented orphans around here. Unlike the dull, periwinkle walls in the halls, the room was bright, mustard yellow. The floors were carpeted, although it might not have been the best idea since there were dried paint stains all over the floor.

Seeing the ghostly figure, I stopped in my tracks. Near was perched on his chair, in front of an easel, faced away from the door. I internally kicked myself for thinking he was a ghost because he was dressed in all white. Of course, ghosts aren't real. I walked towards him, curious to see what he was doing. I watched as his delicate fingers led the pencil over the large sketchpad. Before I could make out what it was that he was drawing, he ripped it out of the pad, crumpled it, and threw it over his shoulder. The scrapped piece of paper he threw hit my face.

"Hey—!"

Near flinched at my exclamation, looking back at me with his wide, beady eyes. His pupils were dark grey, with a tint of black underneath. Not to mention, he also had eye bags. To be honest, it didn't surprise me, considering he probably had to work hard for his rank here. 

"It's you," He said simply, turning back to his sketchpad. His shoulders relaxed slightly and he tapped his pencil on his chin as if contemplating what to draw. There were several crumpled pieces of paper on the floor by the chair he was sitting on.

"S-sorry!" I stuttered, now realising I had just accidentally initiated stiff conversation. "I thought you were a ghost."

"Is it because my hair is white?" He asked, looking rather bored.

"I mean... thats part of it..."

Near looked back at his canvas, ignoring my little blunder.

"I'm stuck."

Those words were simple, yet it was so odd. Wasn't Near good at everything? How could he be stuck with a drawing?

"You're having trouble with what you're drawing?" I asked. Since I was here, I felt compelled to help him after all. He brought his right hand up, playing with a lock of his curly, white hair. I wondered if it was only curly because he kept twirling it so much.

"I'm having trouble deciding what to draw," He stated, reaching onto the ground, picking up the crumpled piece of paper he threw at me and unravelling it. On the page, it was a floral vase, identical to the one in the hall. Although it was scribbled out, the scribbles were much darker on the page than the vase.

"Why a vase?" I pointed out

"I'm testing the limits of memory with various objects," He explained, picking up another piece of paper on the floor. Was that what that clatter outside was? He probably knocked the vase over when trying to memorise what it looked like.

Still, I had no idea how to help him. I picked up the drawing of the vase and stared at it closely. It was an accurate depiction, almost too accurate. To be honest, it was insanely amazing. I didn't know he was this talented.

"Why did you crumple it??! It looks amazing!!" I exclaimed, with much-needed enthusiasm. Near looked back at the canvas with a dejected expression.

"Testing your memory doesn't instantly mean I want accurate results," He mumbled. Gripping his pencil tightly with annoyance, he traced it over the canvas in various dark squiggles to show his obvious frustration.

"So... you want it to look odd? Like Picasso?"

"No. I want to copy something without copying it."

"I don't exactly understand," I gave him a quizzical look.

"It's not fun if it's exact," Near pulled his left leg up to his chest and rested his chin on it, the grip on his pencil had tightened and the lines on the paper had gotten darker. Watching him scribble over and over again was quite dizzying, to say the least. I heard a 'snap' and realised the pencil lead had broke. As soon as it did, he sat up and looked back at me. His panda eyes were wide, more awake than it was before.

"I would like to draw you."

I stared at him blankly before looking around to see if there was anyone else that he could've been talking to. But there was no doubt about it. His eyes weren't looking at anything else in the room, they were looking into mine. I couldn't lie, I was flattered to be the subject of his painting, but there were many more interesting things in the art room than my face.

"Me? Why me?"

"You're the only other person in this room," Near answered.

Right...

He gestured towards a nearby chair and I placed my bag down next to it. I sat on the chair and looked at him, not sure where to position my arms, or what expression to make. I had never been a muse before, it wasn't a common occurrence. I was about to lift my arms up, but he reached over and put them down.

"Be still," He ordered. I listened and placed my hands on my lap.

He scanned over my face, it felt more like I was being analysed for personal data than to get out of art block. His gaze was unwavering, and his eyebrows were furrowed. He placed a thumb on his lip trying to memorise my face for his portrait, curiosity in his grey, apathetic eyes.

"Do you have photographic memory?"

"I thought I had made that clear,"

Twenty seconds in.

"Do you normally need this much time to memorise objects?"

"You are not an object, so I need more time,"

Thirty seconds in.

"Is there something on my face?" I asked, suddenly feeling self-conscious.

"I'm only going to look at you once, I'm trying to memorise everything."

"W-well don't get all my flaws!" I panicked.

"You have none,"

My fingers twitched slightly as he said that. I balled my hands into fists so he thought it was intentional.

Forty-five seconds in.

By the fifty second mark, he had turned to the canvas, starting on his drawing. He had turned his body away from my direction, probably to avoid looking at me. Then the little experiment he was doing wouldn't be very accurate in the end. I shifted my chair closer to him, so I could see his progress. He was quick. In a matter of minutes, I could make out where the features in the drawing were. Not to mention, it was quite accurate.

"You're extremely talented," I complimented. His eyes had gleamed just a bit.

"You shouldn't judge based on the sketch," Near said, his hands moving quickly over the paper.

I continued to think, not wanting to sit here and just attempt to make pointless conversation while he responded idly. I thought about yesterday, seeing him supervise those kids in the library. Should I ask him about it? They must be done with testing and everything.

"What happened to the kids at the library from yesterday?"

"They destroyed my tarot cards," He mumbled, his expression had soured slightly.

"I meant with the testing," I clarified, although I wondered why he sounded so upset when he talked about his tarot cards. Near placed the pencil down, took out a paint pallet, and squeezed various contrasting colours on it. He dipped his paintbrush in the blue paint, not looking up once.

"I still need assistance finding orphanages for them, they're currently being held in the hospital wing."

"So... no one got in?"

Near paused, as if he didn't want to say it.

"Someone got in,"

Someone got in? Someone got in?! Was Teo right? Was that person going to take my spot at the house??! I fiddled with my fingers and bounced my knee, I felt like puking. I swore I saw his eyes dart in my direction for a split second.

"They're in the grade under us." He added. I slowly calmed down. Wammy's was separated into two different grades since the younger kids weren't as experienced as the older ones.

"They must be really smart in order to get in," I murmured.

"You must be smart too," He said bluntly. "This organisation doesn't make flukes."

He must've sensed my downcast expression because he seemed to make a small effort to make me feel better about my situation. Feeling reassured, I looked up at him with a smile. This time, he didn't bother trying not to look. He turned his head towards me. His expression wasn't frustrated or dejected anymore, though he still had that apathetic look on his face. I raised my eyebrows slightly.

"You're cheating," I said, pointing at him, realising he had turned to look at me again.

"You caught me."

----

This time I finally made an effort to make it to the library early.

I took my notebooks out and sat in the same corner of the library where I had my session with Matt and Mello yesterday. Glancing at the clock above, I noticed it was 3:55. I was five minutes early. I would say that was a first, but it was only the second session, so there wasn't much I could say about my punctuality. I dug through my bags, looked for my notebooks (and gave myself a mini heart attack when I thought some of them were missing), took out my pencils, and waited. While waiting, I took the liberty to ask for an unused textbook, the same one Mello had.

The library was packed at this time of day. I could see why, it was big and it fostered all information possible for us. We weren't allowed to leave without supervision, and see what life was like outside for ourselves. The library, the content it holds, it was the only escape possible for orphans like us. Observing the scenery, I drummed my fingers on the table, still waiting for the two to show up. Maybe they were running late because they had some things to catch up on. The science rooms were in the east wing, right? That's the opposite of the library. Yeah, that must be it.

I stared into the distance some more, now awkwardly trying to look away from the other students when I accidentally made eye contact with them.

A half hour had passed by and I was idly doodling in my notebook while I waited. Maybe they had just given up on me. Was I that easy to give up on? Then why was Mello so intent on helping me this morning? This was all so confusing, I couldn't wrap my head around it. My eyes felt heavy after another long while of doodling. I had woken up at 4:45 in the morning, right? Maybe it wouldn't hurt to take a nice... quick nap...

I woke up in the empty field again. It was quiet again. The hot winds were howling, piercing my skin again. This time, I knew where I was. I was in that memory, the haunting one from last night. I looked around to see the house and its pale, cream walls, sticking out from the ground. I felt sick like I wanted to throw up like yesterday. 

A hand grabbed my wrist and pulled me back towards the lake. I didn't want to resist. If I did, it meant I would risk not finding out what had happened to me. What had happened to him? Who he was. I followed him reluctantly as he led me toward the crisp water of the lake. But this was different. I could hear him. The words were distorted, but I did my best to remember them.

"Can't... can't get to you," He muttered on repeat, like a mantra.

My feet had touched the water again, my heart raced. I knew this was just a memory, but it was still scary to think about. I felt his hands reach my hair and I looked at his bloodshot, droopy eyes again. He had bags underneath them as well. He looked drugged, or at the very least, sleep-deprived. The expression on his face was blank, but I could see a hint of an apologetic gaze behind them. My head dipped underwater.

I felt a tap on my shoulder, slowly trying to regain consciousness.

"Wake up," A voice whispered, rather loudly in my ear. So much so, I flinched and sat up, causing my head to bonk at the person's nose.

"OW! Dammit M'lady, you really enjoy attacking my nose, huh?!" I looked up to see Matt, clutching his nose with his gloved hands. He stared directly at me through his amber-tinted goggles, although he didn't look genuinely upset. 

I looked around at the place. It had gotten darker outside, but it was no surprise there considering it was November. I rubbed my eyes, trying to keep them in focus so I could comprehend where I was.

"Wh- huh?! What time is it?" I asked, looking up at Matt's freckled face. He pondered for a while before giving me an answer.

"Time to... get a watch?" He suggested playfully.

"Very funny..." I mumbled, yet I couldn't stop the grin that was on my face. He seemed to have that charismatic effect on everyone. But he wasn't wrong. I rubbed the back of my neck since it was sore from constantly checking the time up at the top of the wall. I looked back up; 5:30. Five thirty?! Was I really out for an hour and a half?! I looked at Matt, conviction mixed with my dazed expression.

"What? You don't know we have extracurriculars on Friday?" He prodded, folding his arms. I blinked before looking away.

"How was I supposed to know? No one told me." I rubbed my eyes, trying to clear the thin layer of tears. While I did that, I felt a bit of drool on the side of my face. How embarrassing...

"You should get that checked out." Matt snickered, leaning over the table to look at my face. I felt my shoulders tense and I looked away, not wanting him to see the spit on my mouth. I grabbed my sleeve and rubbed it vigorously, praying I had gotten it all off. He snickered before digging through the pocket of his baggy jeans and handing me a handkerchief.

"Is Mello here?" I asked, earning a pout from him.

"How unfair! I took my time to come here and tell you that we don't do sessions on Fridays, and you ask for him?"

"I-I just thought— because he's—"

Matt laughed out loud, I had only noticed how wheezy his laugh had sounded.

"I'm just kidding," He chuckled. He got off the table and moved to the bench, plopping down next to me. I shifted my body, but the bench wasn't large enough for the two of us so I was sandwiched between him and the wall next to me. I didn't think he noticed, nor did he care.

"Mello's over there," He said, pointing towards one of the aisles labelled "B". Next to Mello was a gorgeous girl, applying her makeup. She wore her curly, blonde hair in two pigtails. She seemed to have more fashion sense than the other orphans since she had on decorative earmuffs along with a purple winter jacket and long jeans that touched the floor. While she and Mello talked, she was busy putting on her lipgloss, staring into a compact mirror. I recognised her as Beth, Wammy's fifth successor. I wondered how she got the privileges to dress so fancy in a professional area. Successor perks, I guess.

"Mels has been spending time with her lately, it's honestly getting annoying," Matt shrugged, leaning back on the bench. "They've gotten quite chummy."

"...Chummy?"

"Yeah. It pisses me off to see him have another friend," He scoffed, putting his feet up on the table, not bothering to shift my notes aside. They seemed to be engrossed in conversation. I looked back at Matt's rare frown.

"Oi! Stop talking to her and help us out!" Matt called out. I immediately clasped my hand over his mouth, not wanting to be rude and interrupt their conversation. Even if I couldn't deny the sense of relief in my gut when Mello turned away from her.

"Right, whatever," Mello answered, pulling his bag higher over his shoulder and walking towards the table. I snuck a glance at Beth, who had shot me a quick but unnecessary glare. I couldn't help but return her immature look. I knew she wanted to hang out with Mello, but if anything she should be eyeing Matt instead, right?

Speaking of Matt, as soon as Mello had come over, he pulled out his DS and started playing, unbothered to put his earphones on this time. The screen had a few cracks on it, I wondered to myself if Matt was the clumsy type.

"We're not supposed to have a session on Fridays," Mello put his bag on the ground and took out the pen that was in his pocket since this morning.

"I uh... wasn't aware," I admitted.

"Don't forget it next time. I'll leave you in here and you'll have to stay overnight."

That was most definitely one of the more drastic events that could occur. I turned my page to my math notes and pushed it towards Mello, hoping he had noticed that I had done exactly what he taught me that morning.

"Don't get cocky, that was the easy part." He mumbled, pulling me back down to earth with his words. I nodded and searched through the sea of notebooks, noticing the mathematics textbook under Matt's feet. I gave him an unamused expression and he smiled sheepishly, kicking the textbook back to me.

"Sorry, M'lady." He said cheekily. Mello rolled his eyes and shoved Matt's legs off the table.

"I need my space, dumbass."

"Go get a second table!" Matt retorted.

"Just learn to sit properly!" Mello shot back.

"You first..." Matt snickered as he got off the bench and laid on the cold, hard, wooden floor.

"Ignore him, pipsqueak," Mello murmured, throwing an eraser at Matt's head. He turned his body back to me and pointed at the function on the graph.

----

The study session lasted only an hour before the cathedral bells rang to signify 7:00. I had to admit, I was starving by then. Packing up all my books, I looked up to see Matt holding Mello by his bag as if trying to stop him from leaving so suddenly.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Matt asked.

"I don't wait." Mello countered, even though he reluctantly stood still instead of protesting. I looked at the two of them back and forth. Wait for me? They were waiting for me? Flustered, I quickly shoved everything in my bag and ran after them, since I didn't want them to wait. I stood next to Mello, Matt was on the other side of him. I heard a yelp as Matt stumbled backward, Mello gripping the hook on his bag and pulling it down.

"Hey! Stop that!" Matt exclaimed. He shoved Mello with his shoulder, causing Mello to bump into me. I couldn't help but grin widely at their antics. They were unlike any other friendship here at Wammy's, whenever they interacted it felt more authentic. Like they could act normally even within the confines of this place.

"I'll stop when you stop annoying me," Mello said, pushing Matt's head away from him as we continued walking towards the dining hall. As they calmed down, Mello suddenly stopped and looked at my jacket. I looked down, thinking there must've been a string loose or something, but there it was. The chocolate from this morning was peeking out, and Mello was giving me a silent look that said he wanted it.

I fumbled as I took it out of my pocket.

"Sorry, I didn't—"

I was cut off by him taking the chocolate and biting into it.

"Apology accepted," He muttered.

Matt stared at him with shock.

"You gave her a chocolate bar?! That's not fair!" He pouted, clinging onto Mello's arm as he harped on and on about 'trust' or something. Honestly, it went through one ear and out the other. But I couldn't complain. I enjoyed the small moment of happiness that was in between us.

I could get used to this.

Chapter Text

November 29th 2003

"Do you think she'd react if we told her about this?"

Matt was on top of the blue comforter on Mello's bed. His head was hanging off the side as his goggles slowly slid off his forehead, the strings touching the ground. He squinted and continued to poke and prod at the buttons on his MP3 player as if trying to figure out how to fix it. Eventually, music blared and filled the room, earning a glare from Mello who was crouched on the ground in a sea of papers. Matt huffed and scrunched his freckled nose as he plugged his earphones into the MP3 player, not wanting to disturb Mello as he organised the messed-up documents on the ground.

"She won't know anything regardless. Not to mention, the information the house has is vague. Even I'm starting to doubt myself. And you know I hardly do that," Mello answered, quickly switching the papers on the ground, using his foot to kick the empty folders out of the way. Matt was confused by the whole ordeal. He knew Mello wanted to look through Arielle's files again, but this time he had taken two extra ones with him.

"Yet you still insist there's a reason she's here. What if they just felt bad for her?" Matt muttered, turning his body over to look at Mello as he concentrated on sorting. Mello looked up at Matt and scoffed at his unproductive attitude, unplugging the earphones from his MP3 player. The chorus of 'Hot in Herre' by Nelly began to echo throughout the room. Mello raised an eyebrow.

"Really?" He asked, looking at Matt with an unimpressed expression.

"What? It's a good song!" Matt pouted and immediately rolled off Mello's bed, throwing a pillow at him, annoyed by Mello's hollow expression.

"I called you here to help me look through her file, not listen to corny music and sit on my bed." Mello snapped, whacking Matt with the same pillow in retaliation. "And besides, if Roger catches you listening to this kind of music, he'd throw that thing in the trash."

"Who cares what the old man thinks?!" Matt exclaimed mockingly, changing the song because he didn't want to hear Mello complain. The song landed on 'A thousand miles'.

"Now you're just embarrassing yourself."

"Well, my bad for having decent music taste," Matt sighed, finally sitting on the floor to inspect the scene for himself. His ungloved fingers traced the papers on the ground, pausing as he noticed two unfamiliar files. He hadn't picked them up two weeks ago; what was it doing here? 

"What's this?"

"It's their old student profiles. Did everything just go through one ear and out the other?"

"Them? Who's—"

Matt had originally stared at the two files with disinterest. One of them had a blue tag, the other a red one. He picked up the file with the red tag and looked at the back. His jaw went slack in realisation, waving the file he was holding in front of Mello's face as if expecting him to explain.

"Wh— how on EARTH did you get these two?!" He exclaimed. Mello snatched the file out of Matt's hand and placed it on top of the neatly arranged stack of paper he had finally finished organising. He let out a soft huff and mumbled.

"After my talk with him six months ago, I snuck a peek inside Arielle's office and saw Mr Wammy lock the files in a cupboard. I've been waiting to take it since,"

"And you decided to take it six months later?"

"I finally have a reason to after all," Mello scoffed, packing the papers back into their respective files. There were two almost empty files and one full file. Mello handed Matt the file with the blue tag, shoving the plain yellow one and the red-tagged one into his bag.

"So you're saying those three are connected," Matt clarified, looking at Mello with a disbelieving expression.

"Those two. And if you were paying attention an hour ago, you'd know without asking."

Mello opened his bedroom door.

"I'm going to pay a visit to Beth, it'd be suspicious for me to leave the rooms for Arielle's office the second time in a row. In the meantime, they won't notice if that file is missing because of the lack of information on it," Mello stated, raising his finger at the file Matt was holding. 

"Beth, huh? You told her about all this?" Matt snubbed.

"She's helping me in this investigation. Says she knows a thing or two about it," Mello replied.

"You're dense, Mels!"

"Don't be rude, that's my thing." He quickly slung the bag over his shoulder and looked around the darkened hallway, making his way towards door 15. He didn't even get the chance to knock on it once when someone had walked past him and stuck a key in the lock of door 10.

"I suggest whatever you've been doing for the past two weeks is worth the trouble." The voice whispered stoically. Mello turned his head to see Near, holding a stack of books that had pictures of model trains on it. Mello scoffed and turned his head back to the room in front of him.

"Whatever I'm doing, just know you're never going to be a part of it," He declared.

"How unfortunate..."

Watching them from a distance, Matt closed Mello's door slightly so any passerby wouldn't be able to notice the file that was in his hands. With careful fingers, he opened the blue-tagged file, staring at the front page. Written in bolded, red letters were the words that would send a shiver down any ordinary person's spine.

'Subject A of Wammy's: Deceased'

----

November 30th 2003

Today marked the final day of autumn, clouds filled the skies to the brim as the weather transitioned into winter. Winter had arrived sooner than I expected, Arielle often joked that it was a blessing in disguise; to keep everyone's spirits up. Despite the weather, the orphans here were permitted to play outside since it was nearing the end of the year. I sat by the steps at the front of the house, watching as some of the orphans kicked the same ball around over and over again. It was interesting to think you could give a group of people an object and they would make do with it so easily.

Towards my right, a group of younger kids were drawing on the steps with chalk. At first, they were drawing on the walls. However, due to Roger's picky complaints, they had run off and started drawing on the steps, under the guidance of an older kid.

My thoughts were interrupted by Roger, who had appeared behind me, and the other kids who were messing around with the chalk.

"Honestly, Linda! You're supposed to be setting an example for these kids, not teaching them to deface property!" Roger exclaimed, shooing the smaller kids away from the stairs. The older kid, Linda, shot him a defiant glare before hurrying into the house.

Roger certainly had a horrible reputation around here.

I was puzzled as to why he decided to address us directly. Roger was, and I quote, a hermit. A common joke shared by the orphans was that he practically lived in his office. However, this theory was debunked since there was no bed or bath in there. He cleared his throat and looked at the crowd of laughing children as they played like there was no tomorrow.

"May I have your attention, children?" He yelled. As usual, no one listened since, well, it was Roger. 

"I said, May I have your attention, children?!" He yelled louder in exasperation. This was honestly getting embarrassing for him, but I had no intention to listen if no one else was. Call me a sheep, but I'd rather follow the crowd than Roger.

I stood up from the steps, not wanting to be associated with him somehow since he was standing right behind me. Making my way down the stairs, I was interrupted by a voice. The voice was smooth and polite, a stark contrast to Roger's. I looked up to see Arielle, clapping her hands as if to get the attention of the other kids. I stopped in my tracks and looked back, the chattering noises had stopped as they looked up at her.

"Everyone is to gather in the recreation room. An important guest is awaiting your arrival." She chirped.

Following behind the other students, I made my way back inside the house, thinking about Arielle's words. Guest? Who on earth would be important enough to be let into this institute? I paid attention to the murmurs of the children around me as they speculated who the guest might be.

"What if someone wants to adopt us?"

"Don't be silly. This is more of an institute than an orphanage."

"I'm betting the guest is another teacher..."

"It's L. "

That comment caused me to turn around. At the back of the group was Mello, unravelling his bar of chocolate and taking a bite from the corner. I quickly stopped so he could catch up, although he didn't make an effort to quicken his pace, keeping me waiting. I shifted in place, standing on my heel and then toes until he got to me. He ran his long fingers through his hair and walked past me after he caught up. I followed after, not wanting to be left behind.

"How do you know it's L?" I asked. He sniffed— most likely from the cold— and looked away.

"Matt was asked to help with the setup before we left to play outside. Roger said it was important, so it must be L," He explained. 

"Doesn't Roger hate Matt? Why ask him for help?"

"Matt swears Roger is 'out to get him'." Mello sighed, using air quotes to show how stupid Matt's reasoning was. Although it wouldn't be the most far-fetched idea Matt came up with.

But why would L need a setup?

My question was answered almost immediately as Mello opened the door to the living room. I entered after him, watching as the children gathered around a blank monitor that was sitting on top of a desk. Roger sat on the only chair in the room, which was behind the monitor. Behind Roger, the walls were filled with papers. I squinted so I could read the contents. They were all files, hung at the back with unfamiliar names. Were they L's case files? If they were, I was certain the back of the wall wouldn't be enough to contain all the cases he had solved in his life.

On my right, Matt was hunched over, fixing the microphone by the monitor. The microphone gave off a little bit of feedback and I swore I saw Matt smirk as Roger glared at him because of his actions. As soon as Matt set it in the correct position, he leaned back and looked at Roger, folding his thin arms across his chest.

"Would you get off my back now?" Matt asked in annoyance.

"I'll think about it," Roger sneered.

Suddenly, I heard a whirring noise from the monitor, it turned on shortly after. The image shown wasn't a man or anything, just a monogram that flashed brightly on the screen. I found a spot behind the rest of the students and sat down on the wooden floor. Matt was still next to Roger, although he was now peering at the screen with newfound interest. Mello had found a spot in the corner of the room, leaning against the wall and taking a bite of his chocolate to conceal his disinterest.

Near had come in shortly after, sitting at the very back of the room. He unzipped his bag and tilted it upside down, dumping three Rubik's cubes and one all-white puzzle. The puzzle pieces scattered over the ground, he leaned over and started to fix it, ignoring the monitor.

"Testing testing..." The voice from the monitor, or rather L, said. It didn't sound distorted, the voice was real. Whoever was behind the screen couldn't cover his weary demeanour.

Roger cleared his throat.

"Mr Wammy has been so kind to allow us to listen to L speak today. We only have an hour as he is a busy man, so do your best to make the most of it and..."

He looked directly at Matt.

"Try not to ask stupid questions."

L's speech consisted of his early life, cases, and habits. I had learnt a lot about him. How his favourite food was strawberry shortcake, how his favourite sport was tennis, and even how he claimed that his awful sitting habits were what made his deduction skills so great. Listening to his speech made my mind wander. The truth was obvious. One day, one of us would be behind that monitor.

"...which is why I have very bad handwriting."

Laughter rang in the air, causing me to pay attention again. The laughter was not uncommon, we were already in high spirits before the talk.

"Any other questions?" L asked.

A smaller girl shot her hand up, her eyes wide and eager as she looked at the monitor. I hadn't recognised her before, she must've been the new student that Near was talking about. I turned my head to look back at Near. He had already moved on from his puzzle after solving it for the fourth time and was fiddling with his second Rubik's cube. He didn't look up once.

"Oh oh! Can you tell me something that you're not good at... or maybe something you're scared of?"

"Something I'm scared of?"

"What? Yeah right, L's not scared of anything..." A kid interrupted.

The room quickly fell into silence, interrupted by the feedback of the mic. Matt quickly shifted it back into place.

"Well I suppose... monsters," L answered. The room erupted into laughter again, passing his words off as a joke. I watched as the smaller girl sat up and looked at the monitor eagerly.

"Me too! I am too!"

"Dummy, L's not the same as you," Another kid spat. I turned my head to see Teo, rolling his eyes at the younger girl. I almost felt bad for her, she was only new after all.

"There are many types of monsters that scare me: Monsters who cause trouble without showing themselves, monsters who abduct children, monsters who devour dreams, monsters who suck blood... and then..." I held my breath.

"Monsters who tell nothing but lies."

I stared at the monitor with wide eyes. Was he telling the truth? Was L afraid of monsters?

"Lying monsters are a real nuisance: They are much more cunning than others."

L hesitated slightly as if contemplating whether to continue.

"They pose as humans even though they have no understanding of the human heart," Matt exhaled, leaning his head against the wall.

"They eat even though they've never experienced hunger," Mello looked out the window, taking the final bite of his chocolate.

"They study even though they have no interest in academics," Near hesitated with the final turn of the Rubik's cube.

"They seek friendship even though they do not know how to love." I gulped, suddenly feeling lightheaded.

L took a deep breath.

"If I were to encounter such monsters, I would likely be eaten by them... because in truth, I am that monster."

Without warning, the monitor had shut off, leaving the room in complete and utter silence.

----

"Pipsqueak. Stop daydreaming,"

I was snapped out of my thoughts when I realised the room was cleared out. Only Mello, Matt, and Near remained. Matt was busy packing the microphones into a small box while Mello was pinching my ear to get me to pay attention. I winced and glanced up at him, my eyebrows creased slightly as I felt my ear throb in pain.

"Ouch!" I yelped.

He let out a scoff and placed his hands back in the pockets of his grey pants.

"You've been staring at that monitor for ten minutes. Everyone went back outside,"

I frowned and stood up, looking out the window Mello had gestured to. I could see the children all outside, playing like before. Roger and Arielle were also outside. As usual, Roger was yelling at the other students to behave. I squinted so I could see who exactly he was yelling at. 

It was Teo, so I decided not to judge Roger this time.

To my left, I could hear a bit of one-sided bickering. I turned my head to see Matt poking at Near's head with a deep frown on his face. Near was plugging a keyboard onto the monitor, looking up at Matt with an equally annoyed expression.

"Who said you could randomly start touching the monitor?! If Roger thinks I did that, I'd be in pointless trouble y'know?!"

"I already told you, he told me I could use it after the meeting."

Mello grabbed Matt by the back of his brown and black striped sweater, causing Matt to fall backward and hit the ground with a 'thunk'. Matt looked up at Mello with an angry pout, his freckled cheeks turning red with anger.

"Hey! What was that for?!"

"Leave him. If Roger said he could use it, he probably meant it. You know how that old geezer is with Near,"

Matt stood up and stuck his tongue out at Near. I could tell Near was doing everything in his power not to make a face back at him. Watching Mello and Matt walk away, I decided to do the same. I was about to follow after them when I heard a voice behind me.

"Y/n, I'd appreciate it if you'd stay," He said, his voice quieter than before. I looked back and stopped in my tracks, watching as the other two boys disappeared. I walked back to Near.

"Do you need anything?"

"Yes, I'd like it if you'd assist me with placing the newcomers in a new institute, like I asked a few weeks ago,"

I looked at him in realisation.

"R-right! I definitely didn't forget..." I lied.

"We have seven newcomers to place. I'm sure you'll be of good use," He reassured as he started up the monitor. I hovered over his shoulder, watching as his nimble fingers glided over the keyboard, searching up orphanages in Winchester. It was quite uncommon to see a student using the monitor, Roger was extremely particular about electronics, we would need a valid reason and his permission to even touch it. For some reason, the only person that I have ever seen using the monitor was Near. Maybe he and Roger were like two peas in a pod.

Near sat on the singular chair in the recreation room, his knee to his chest, his right hand twirling his white hair while his left hand manoeuvred the mouse. His grey eyes were focused on the monitor, he seemed really intent on giving those kids a place.

"How exactly were you persuaded into helping them?" I asked, not bothering to mask my obvious curiosity.

"I'd get an extra 2 marks on my final score,"

"Don't you already get perfect grades?" I asked, perplexed by his words.

"Don't get me wrong, I hardly miscalculate anything," Near said, clicking on a website with a list of orphanages. "But in the event I do make a blunder, no one will realise."

I frowned. I hadn't realised he was so driven to keep his position.

"Now more than ever..." He continued, looking up towards his left as if trying to recall something. "After L's speech, he has become a worthy goal."

Worthy goal? Did he only decide he wanted to succeed L now?!

Near dug through the pockets of his pyjama pants and pulled out a list, checking the ages of the newcomers. He turned his head back to the monitor and clicked on a website, showing a list of orphanages in Winchester. Although, Wammy's wasn't listed down for obvious reasons. 

"Isn't it sad that we're looking for orphanages to place them in?" I mumbled.

"It's not sad, we're giving them a home," Near answered calmly.

"Why can't they just stay here?"

"Wammy's is an institute, not an orphanage. They won't get adopted here."

He was right. No one here would have the opportunity of getting adopted. Everyone here was on their own. I couldn't help but wonder what it was like to live a normal life. I lived a normal life before I got here, right? I wanted to remember, remember past the lake. Remember what my life was like before. Near began writing down the orphanages, drawing lines to match each name with a different orphanage.

"Why can't we put them all in the same one?"

"If an orphanage runs out of funding, some children will be sent somewhere else. It would be a nuisance to deal with that, even if I'm not dealing with it personally."

"I guess you're right on that part..."

Looking at Near as he worked, I suddenly felt useless. He said he wanted help with searching for orphanages, however he seemed to be doing the work himself. I looked around the room and noticed there were a few chairs stacked in the corner. I pulled one out and sat next to him, reading the list on the sheet of paper that was next to him. On the sheet were both each kid's first and last name. They probably didn't get an alias because they weren't enrolled here.

"It feels so wrong looking at their real names," I chuckled, tapping the pencil on the paper. Near's fingers shifted, turning the monitor so I could see it. On the screen was a well-kept orphanage. There were two adults and three children, all smiling. The first adult was holding a baby, the second was holding a kid's hand. The third child, however, was on the floor, holding a fistful of crayons.

"I wonder what their stories are," I whispered, staring at the image. My attention shifted to the documents on the wall that were still left up since L's 'visit'. I wondered what each story was behind those documents. If everyone had something to tell, something to share, yet no one to listen. Near turned his head towards me and sighed, scrolling down.

"You shouldn't be so fixated on everyone. Think only about yourself," He said sharply, his gaze unwavering. "After all, if you're kicked out, I wouldn't want to be the one looking for an orphanage for you,"

I let out a soft exhale at his reprimanding words. I placed the paper down on the table and watched as Near ticked off one of the names.

"This orphanage is in good condition," He stated, trying to direct the conversation away from what it was before. I couldn't help but appreciate his attempts to include me in his work, even if I wasn't doing anything.

"If you'd like, I could leave you to it. We only have one monitor and I don't want to be a liability," I said, trying not to sound so down. He did ask me to join him after all.

"I'm perfectly fine with you staying here,"

"Really? Even if I'm not doing anything?" I asked, snapping out of my thoughts.

"You're keeping me company. Is that not something?"

My frown had slowly turned into a grin. I nodded, watching his attention divert back to the monitor. He mumbled something under his breath, yet I couldn't quite catch what it was. But it didn't matter. I was happy he was content with my presence. I didn't understand Near. Nothing about him looked like he was making an effort to make me feel better. Yet his words managed to, regardless of intention.

"Shall we continue?"

“Mhm!” I exclaimed, with much needed enthusiasm.

----

December 4th 2003

The start of winter had already tricked my mind into thinking that it was much colder than last month. I had put on a black sweater over my shirt, and a scarf over that. Not to mention my head was covered with an orange beanie I had found at the bottom of my sock drawer. Rubbing my arms, I wondered if the thermostat was broken, or if it was somehow at the lowest setting. I shivered as I walked through the halls shortly before lunch break ended since I wanted to get to class early.

I stopped in my tracks when I heard voices. Two voices. Ducking behind a wall, I poked my head out to see who was also in the hallway. One of the figures pulled his grey hood off his head and leaned back on the wall. I could recognise him as Mello almost immediately because of his gruff attitude, and that scintillating figure with familiar blonde curls next to him must've been Beth.

Today, Beth looked more stylish than usual. She wore a fur, purple sweater with pink gloves and earmuffs. Surprisingly, she wore a skirt, and even though she only had navy stockings underneath, she still looked like she was perfectly fine in the cold. I couldn't help but frown as I looked at my outfit. I looked boring compared to her. Then again, I don't think I would have the money to get an outfit like that, let alone have the strength to wear voguish stockings on a cold day. How could someone be so intelligent and beautiful at the same time?

"I thought you usually spend time with Val on Monday mornings, why is today so different?" Mello questioned. Val, huh? I recognised that name— Valentina. She was L's fourth successor. I never saw her around unless it was with Beth.

"Something came up," Beth said quickly, looking away from Mello while she fixed her gorgeous blonde curls into pigtails. Even I could tell that her words were some made-up excuse, but based on my limited knowledge of Mello, he wouldn't bother pressing on the subject unless he was interested.

"Hm," He hummed. Good to know he wasn't interested.

"What's on your mind?" She asked, tugging on the sleeve of his shirt. Mello flinched a bit, but he didn't pry her away.

"Did you find anything?" He interrogated.

Find what?

"Why don't we talk about that later?" She frowned.

What did 'that' mean???

Mello sighed and pushed himself off the wall, walking with her down the hallway. Without thinking, I leaped from my hiding spot and continued to follow them. They were silent when they walked, I couldn't tell if it was comfortable or just plain awkward. I hoped it was neither. One right and a left later, they suddenly stopped. My breath hitched and I hid behind a wall again, not wanting to be caught.

"Come on, why don't you skip with me?" Beth asked, leaning closer toward Mello. I bit the scarf that was around my neck as I watched her.

"Don't ask idiotic questions. I need to take Near's spot at all costs," He replied curtly. I felt a sense of satisfaction overcome me. Seems like Beth underestimated his competitive nature.

"You're so monotonous, you know that?"

"If monotonous means I can become L, then so be it,"

"Come on, Mels !"

I felt my shoulders tense as Beth used the nickname Matt always used for Mello. Even though it wasn't my place to be annoyed by it, I couldn't help but feel more vexed towards her.

"Yeah... she's a skank for stealing my nickname, isn't she?"

I turned my head and was met with Matt, his face right in front of mine. I was about to yell because of how shocked I was by his sudden presence, but he placed his gloved hand over my mouth and snickered. 

"Relax! Stay quiet or they'll know you've been following them," Matt shushed, placing his other hand on the wall and leaning his weight on it. I looked back at Mello and Beth, noticing how she was leaning closer to Mello as they continued to converse with each other. I turned back to see his face, watching his eyes stare at me through his faded amber goggles.

"You noticed how mushy they've become, huh?"

I scoffed and pried his hand away from my mouth. Even though he was my friend, I found his attitude a little over the top at times.

"Why are you spying on them?!" I exclaimed softly.

"Why are you spying on them?" He retorted.

I sighed and rubbed my forehead in exasperation. I enjoyed Matt's company, but he always managed to appear at the wrong place at the wrong time. This was no exception. Matt snickered and looked back at the two, his expression hardening slightly. He turned back to me and his face changed back into that smiley, like he wasn't just eyeing Beth seconds before.

"I wonder how we're always left alone together, M'lady. It's fate, wouldn't you say?" He said, wiggling his eyebrows almost comically.

"Don't you usually skip classes? Why are you here?" I asked, trying to divert the subject away from Mello and Beth.

"I saw you following those two, so naturally I'd do the same," Matt sniffed, rubbing his nose. Great, and the topic went full circle in just a matter of seconds.

"So... you jealous of Beth or what?" He asked, leaning far too close for comfort. I blushed at the sudden proximity, but I quickly snapped out of it as soon as I comprehended his question.

"W-what?! No way!" I exclaimed.

"Why not? She's pretty, smart and she gets along with Mello," Matt pointed out, looking back at her and frowning again. I raised an eyebrow before poking at his chest teasingly.

"Are you projecting?" I asked.

He sighed and folded his arms, looking at me from the corner of his eye.

"I don't enjoy the fact that she has to wiggle her way into his life. She's always been giving me dirty looks whenever she hangs out with Mels," He said, yet he still turned his head to grin at me. "She's a real pain when she likes someone."

"She likes Mello?"

"Isn't that obvious?"

I couldn't help but nod. Since I saw her two weeks ago, I could tell she liked him. She didn't even bother making an effort to hide it. Yet, why was she pushing Matt away from him?

"Why—"

"She thinks I'm a pain in the ass because I took her spot when I first got here," Matt explained as if he knew what I was going to ask.

"She used to be third? Then why isn't she mad that Val's fourth and she's fifth now?"

"Who knows," Matt shrugged. He pushed himself off the wall and looked at the ceiling. I stared at the ground as I thought about what Matt had said. My heart raced as I thought of two weeks ago, guilt building up in my chest. Was that dirty look she gave me meant for Matt? And I gave her one back by instinct? Goddammit.

"Is your next class important?"

I jerked out of my thoughts and blinked. Instantly, I took out my fingers to count my classes.

"I uh... I have chemistry, history, and criminal psychology?"

"Okay... so important or not?"

"Not partic—"

Matt didn't hesitate to cut me off by grabbing my left wrist and yanking me down the hallway. His pace was quick and he had a bit of joyful bounce in his step. I followed after, trying to match his speed. The floors were slippery, and running made the air around me a bit cooler. I placed my right hand on my head, holding my beanie down so it wouldn't fly off somehow. He had taken a few lefts and a right, dragging me towards the back exit of the house. He looked back at me and smirked, followed by a snicker.

"Based on your shock, you've never been outside the gates without supervision, I take it?"

"OUTSIDE?!"

Matt opened the doors and continued to run. He let go of my hand and gestured for me to climb up the ladder of the fire escape on the side of the building. I followed behind him, staring straight ahead as I climbed, since I didn't want to look down. We reached the rooftop and he helped me up, slowly walking down the slant of the roof. I stopped in my tracks to look at the view.

Snow had engulfed the ground, and even the top of the roof was covered. The skies were cloudy, but not too cloudy that it had turned grey. Outside was bright, the sun was positioned a little after its apex. I watched as Matt carefully inched his way towards the top of the gates, jumping over it, the snow cushioning his fall. I looked down at him in disbelief, realising he was now on the outside of the fence.

"How are we going to get back?!" I exclaimed, refusing to go down.

"There's a tree back there we can climb to get back to the fire escape!" He yelled back. I looked at the ground of Wammy's, then the ground of the outside where Matt was currently standing. Taking a deep breath, I jumped and landed next to him, slipping slightly. He laughed and balled up some snow into a snowball to throw at me. I was about to throw one back, but I noticed he was digging in the pile of snow, uncovering a sled. My eyes widened as he dusted it off.

"Hop on," He gestured as he placed the sled upright. I quickly listened, getting on it and holding onto the side to balance myself. He grunted as he pushed the sled towards the edge of the hill, running down to gain momentum.

"Where exactly are we going?!" I asked, still dazed that we had just escaped Wammy's so easily.

"There's a small array of stores down the hill. It's where Mr Wammy gets things for the house!" He exclaimed, continuing to push me down the hill. Soon, he jumped on and we were both speeding down as fast as we could, adrenaline coursed through my veins as the cold winds bit at my skin, threatening to blow my beanie away. Matt seemed to notice so he kept a hand on my head, keeping the beanie in place.

"I usually get games from my DS down at the bookstore, but that's our little secret." He winked.

"I-I won't tell anyone! But why take me to a bookstore?"

"You're into that sort of thing, right?"

I felt my neck and ears turn warm when he said that, grateful that it was being covered by my scarf and beanie.

Matt chuckled and rested his head on my shoulder. I looked back and noticed how the snowflakes had blended into his freckles. His hands shifted onto the side of the sled and mine did as well, flinching every so often when our hands would bump into each other.

The sled gradually slowed to a stop and he got off quickly, so I followed suit. He picked it up and placed it by the gate entrance of the little shopping district down the hill. Matt strolled in without a care in the world and I followed after, finally feeling a pang of anxiety now that the rush was over.

I shook myself out of any worrying thoughts I had in my head and followed Matt towards a store. The sign at the front was covered in snow, so I couldn't see what it was called. However, it had a large book at the front so I could only assume it was the bookstore. Matt shook the snow off his body before opening the door for me.

"After you, M'lady,"

I curtsied, playing along with his little act. When I entered the store, the smell of books immediately hit my senses. I didn't bother waiting for him and I darted straight into the fiction section. I couldn't help but gasp at the sight. The books here weren't old, but relatively new. Books that weren't on shelves at Wammy's. I ran my fingers down the spine of each book as if trying to memorise all the titles.

"How did you discover this place?" I asked, looking at Matt who had caught up to me.

"I'll tell you that another time," He snickered, placing a hand on the shelf and leaning towards me. "Just enjoy."

The bookstore was calming, there was no one inside except for the cashier behind the counter. I assumed everyone was at home to get away from the cold. I watched as Matt walked away and browsed through different games on the shelf next to mine. His nose crinkled every time he picked up a game, as if contemplating whether to get it or not.

Matt and I stayed in the bookstore for a while. I sat on a sofa at the back corner of the bookstore, reading one of the books I had picked up from the shelf— A Series of Unfortunate Events. I was engrossed in it, wanting to know more with every turn of the page. Lemony Snicket's writing was extraordinary. It felt like I was reading something dated back from the 1800s, yet it twisted into something modern. Matt was on the couch next to mine, his eyes glued onto the screen in front of him. As soon as he got here, he had been playing games nonstop. Eventually, he sighed and leaned back on the sofa, giving me a wide frown.

"You've been reading nonstop! Come play something with me!" He whined, like a little kid.

"I said I'd play once I finish this chapter..." I mumbled, turning the page of my book.

"What's so good about books anyway? You and Mels are the same..." He scoffed, standing up and stretching his arms before digging through the box for another game. At the same time, I glanced up at the clock, reading the time.

3:55. I felt my heart drop. I sat up and looked at Matt with obvious panic, standing up to put my book back on the shelf. Classes at Wammy's were already over. That meant...

"I-It's 3:55! We lost track of time!"

He mumbled a curse under his breath and placed the game down, turning the TV in the store off. He waved at the person behind the counter before dragging me out of the store with him. I picked up the pace, running faster as he pulled onto my arm as hard as he could. I stumbled as he let go of me to pick up the sled and hurried up the hill. I couldn't afford to run out of breath at a time like this. Classes were over and now both Matt and I were late for my session. If Roger found us, it'd be hell. No, there was one thing I thought of that could be worse than Roger finding out.

Reaching the top of the hill, Matt dumped the sled behind one of the trees and climbed it. I was following his every move, not bothering to question his actions. From the top of the tree, we returned to the roof and down the fire escape. My heart was pounding. Near the back and the front entrance were kids, already outside playing. We were stuck at the ladder. I looked around for a possible exit to this problem. There it was, an open window. Without thinking, I pulled Matt towards the open window and we fell inside.

I groaned as I opened my eyes, trying to take in my surroundings. We landed in someone's room. I heard a shuffle in front of us and I looked up to see the discerning aquamarine eyes of the person standing over Matt and me.

"Y/n, what the fuck?!"

Chapter Text

December 4th 2003 

"Well?" 

We awkwardly stood in Mello’s bedroom, Matt and I refused to say the first word. The window behind me was wide open, only adding more cold winds to the tension that had already taken place in the atmosphere. My eyes were darting around Mello's bedroom, anything to divert my attention from his face, which was currently red with annoyance and confusion. I noticed the blue comforter on his bed, neatly folded and unused, and the scattered papers on his desk— he must’ve been studying.

Mello’s outburst caused me to stop my observation and look back up at him.

“What the hell were you guys doing outside my window?!”

I had two options. Either tell the truth or wait for Matt to come up with some half-assed lie that Mello would not believe. My gut wanted to go with the latter, but I couldn’t help myself from opening my mouth before Matt.

“We were visiting the bookstore down the hill,” I admitted, looking at my snow-covered shoes remorsefully. Mello didn’t take that lightly. He looked back and forth at Matt and me as if trying to find the right words to say in a situation like this.

“You did WHAT?! Why on EARTH would you choose to skip class?!” He exclaimed, although his words were directed more towards me than Matt. I couldn’t bring myself to answer, but Matt didn’t hesitate to do it for me. He looked at Mello with a carefree expression.

“Relax, man. It was just three lessons that weren’t even important in the first place,” He defended, folding his arms as a wide grin appeared on his lips. I was perplexed to see how Matt wasn’t taking Mello’s lecturing seriously.

“Relax? You expect me to relax? You could have gotten into serious trouble! Leaving is the one thing you aren’t supposed to do here! This isn’t some random public school, this is Wammy’s!” Mello yelled, causing me to flinch.

Matt ignored his little comment.

“Why aren’t you in the library anyway? Weren’t you supposed to be waiting for us?” Matt prodded, although I really wished he hadn’t. Mello clenched his fists at his attitude and took a deep breath.

“I was there for twenty minutes. Guess who didn’t show…” He mumbled, glaring at me. He shook his head and looked back at Matt, going back to the topic at hand. “You’ve been skipping classes ever since you got here, Matt! May I remind you, that's why you’re banned from the outing!”

“No… the whole reason why I’m banned from the outing is that you kept stealing from the kitchen and caused Roger to throw a hissy fit about sweets! The reason why I’m banned from the outing is because I took the blame for you, y'know?”

“I never asked you to do that!”

“Well, I did, so no need to thank me.” Matt shrugged, leaning on the wall. He looked unbothered with this ordeal like he wanted it to end already. He scratched his head with his gloved hands and looked at the ceiling, attempting to give Mello a hint that he didn’t want to be there. Mello let out a sigh and ran his fingers through his hair. He observed Matt’s body language, yet hadn't made an effort to acknowledge his silent attempts to communicate with him. His sharp, arched brows were poking through his dull blonde bangs as he quietly scrutinised the both of us. His eyes darted between Matt and I before prodding back at him.

“You have no business taking her out of class,”

“She came of her own volition, Mels. She’s not a dog,” Matt scoffed. I couldn’t help but stare at the two, hoping I wouldn’t have the misfortune to join the conversation anytime soon.

“Why are you so annoyed about us skipping class? I’m not ignorant, you know?” Matt argued.

“You’re not, but she is,” Mello retorted, tugging on the sleeves of his hoodie as he folded his arms. And with that, I was back into the conversation. My eyes landed on the socks on his feet, noticing they were pointed towards me as he finally acknowledged my presence in the room. I could feel his eyes glowering at my pathetic form.

“I’m not ignorant,” I protested. Even though I stood my ground, I couldn’t help but wonder if I deserved to do that in the first place. I was in the wrong after all. But when Mello called me that, it pissed me off. Like he was lying when he said I wasn’t stupid countless times before, during our sessions.

“Really? Then why have you been threatened with expulsion several times?” He asked, causing me to freeze in place. “Why on earth am I helping you with your studies if you’re not ignorant? You should know by now not to follow that idiot.”

"Oi! Don't call me an idiot!" Matt interjected. Mello scoffed and turned to me, expecting me to answer him. I continued to look at him with a dazed expression, trying to balance myself. I felt dizzy, and I wasn't taking his words as easily as Matt was. That's right, Mello and I weren't friends like that. He was only helping me study, our relationship was strictly for beneficial purposes. I wanted to brush this off, but I couldn't. I felt sick like I wanted to puke all over the wooden floors of his bedroom. I pushed past Mello and left his room, running down the hallway. I didn't know where I was going. I just hoped everyone was busy enough not to notice.

Maybe Mello was right.

I am stupid.

----

I subconsciously made my way to the cathedral.

My right hand clutched my shirt over my chest, trying to steady my pounding heart. I pushed the door of the cathedral open, looking behind me to make sure no one was in my line of sight. Once I confirmed that, I shut the door with a loud 'thunk' and walked straight towards the pew at the front left. I climbed onto it and curled up into a pathetic ball as Mello's words repeated in my head over and over again. My eyes were bleary with weak tears that threatened to run down my face.

Why I was constantly drawn back to the cathedral here was beyond me. Maybe I was looking for a bit of comfort in my memories. If I'm being sincere, I did remember my mother visiting a place like this often when I was younger. I closed my eyes and rubbed my tears, trying my best to remember my past.

My mother would hold my hand tightly, her lips pursed into a sad frown. I remembered squirming around as she urged me towards the front and kneeled, pressing her hands together in prayer. She would mumble incoherently under her breath, before dragging me down to join her, ignoring my annoyed expression every time she did that. But I listened begrudgingly, pressing my hands together in prayer with her. I couldn't remember exactly what I prayed for, but I did remember staring out the windows and getting distracted by the laughter of children outside.

Now I wished I had complied with her.

I lifted my head from my knees and shifted on the pew, resting my shoulder against the wall. I looked up at the ceiling, counting the arches one by one. The cathedral was so well crafted, that I wondered why someone would put so much effort into building it. Was Wammy's built around the cathedral or vice versa? The sun was slowly setting, causing the light to pass through the stained glass windows, painting the walls and pews with an array of bright colours. Unlike the hallways, the cathedral was warm, creating a comforting atmosphere as a getaway from everything.

This was nice.

My thoughts were interrupted by a loud bang. Startled, my head snapped towards the direction of the noise. It was the cathedral door. I stiffened and turned my gaze back to the front of the cathedral, ignoring the blaring footsteps that were making their way towards me. The footsteps were heavy, intentional. They grew louder as they drew closer to me as if I were their destination. Then they stopped and I felt a shadow loom over my body. A rustling noise and the shadow disappeared. Whoever they were, they had sat down in the pew behind me. I quickly put my shoes back on, wanting to change locations. I wanted to be alone, especially since my gut was telling me that I knew the person who was sitting behind me.

I got up and turned around, trying my best to ignore the boy on the pew. My eyes darted everywhere except for the benches as I attempted to leave the cathedral in silence. I only took a step when I felt restrained by something. Someone. The boy was gripping my wrist tightly in a commanding manner.

"Don't leave," He demanded.

I turned my head back towards the boy as he looked up at me with his harsh eyes. A frown was etched onto his perfectly sculpted face, he looked like he was trying his best not to look too upset, but he was failing miserably. He wrinkled his upturned nose before pulling me to sit next to him on the pew, letting go of my wrist, and playing with the rosary around his neck. Mello was scary, nervousness engulfed my heart as I rubbed my arm and complied, staring straight ahead.

"Look—"

"Don't say anything," He said sternly. I felt something land on my lap and looked down. It was a book. I watched as he leaned back, his arms extended over the back crest of the pew. My gaze was directed back to the book on my lap. I picked it up and read the title.

'A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Reptile Room'

"I made Matt tell me what book you were reading. I suppose you didn't have enough time to finish it in the bookstore, huh?"

I blushed, running my fingers over the title page as I looked at the cover and the condition of the book. The book looked quite new, at least it was well-kept. I quickly opened it to the page I had stopped on.

"How do you have it?" I asked, keeping my voice quiet.

"Christmas present. I got sick of the books in the library."

I exhaled in amusement. He wasn't wrong. After being here for a while, I had finished all the fiction books in the library twice— give or take. Mello looked at me and reached out for the book I had opened. I flinched when his hand touched mine, but he didn't notice. He turned the book to the back page and showed me the quote that was written in cursive. I stared at the quote with a confused expression. I hadn't seen this quote in the book down at the store. Maybe I just wasn't perceptive. I read the words over and over again.

‘Life is a conundrum of esoterica — Snicket’

"This was written at the back of my copy. Any idea what it means?" He questioned.

It didn't sound like he was asking out of his curiosity. It sounded like he was asking because he wanted to know if I knew what it meant. Deciphering the quote was simple. It meant life itself was filled with abnormal things that were only comprehendible by a few people who were not you. 

"It means no matter how much I try, I will never be able to understand everything," I said, my voice sounding more meek than usual.

"Like how you don't understand how you got here,"

"Why are you showing me this?"

He plopped the book back onto my lap and folded his arms, judging my every move. His gaze made me sit up straight, afraid Mello would berate me for my bad posture— despite having a bad posture himself. He hoisted his right leg up on the pew, his left leg extending outwards.

"You need to be reminded that you could get kicked out anytime," He said casually.

"Gee, say it like it is, huh?"

He scoffed and closed the book. I shut my mouth, mentally kicking myself for blurting my thoughts out loud.

"I'm not going to tutor you if you're not going to take things seriously."

"I am taking things seriously!" I asserted, yet a wave of guilt rushed through my body. He was right. Leaving the house just told him I wasn't taking my studies seriously. I felt my body grow hotter with guilt as he lifted his bag up and dumped the contents out. Inside was a mathematics textbook, a pencil, and an eraser. I looked at him with confusion when he opened the textbook to a page and handed me the pencil. He pointed at the log function and then looked at me with an expectant gaze. I had to refrain myself from sighing audibly.

"What? Do you think having your little escapade meant I'm going to cancel the session? No. You're going to sit here and you're going to finish the section." He commanded.

"Yes sir..." I mumbled, my tone tinged with slight sarcasm.

I could feel the sharp tension in the air as I wrote down the answers to each equation. Mello's gaze on me was unwavering, and this session was so much different from the other ones. For starters, he didn't reassure me every time I made a mistake in the textbook. He just stayed silent and expected me to fix it by myself. Was this a test? If so, I didn't understand his true intention. Did he chase after me to be nice? Mean? Blunt? On one hand, he had thought of me enough to bring the book I was reading. On the other hand, he used said book to remind me of the mistake I made that afternoon. Then again, now he was making me study to make up for my mistake. But he wasn't helping me or anything, only staring at me intensely.

Just what are you thinking, Mello?

"Are you mad at me?" I asked. I couldn't help it. I knew the answer, yet I wanted to hear it from him.

"I'm not mad, y/n,"

"You're not calling me 'pipsqueak', you're mad," I argued, staring down at the textbook.

"I thought you didn't like that nickname," He mumbled.

"I never said I didn't like it..."

Mello dug through the pockets of his loose hoodie, pulling out another bar of chocolate. He seemed to eat one brand of chocolate. He ripped the packaging away, tearing the aluminium foil and crumpling it into a ball. He tossed the ball behind him and snapped a piece of chocolate with his delicate fingers. He waved the small piece in front of me leisurely, taking a bite of his chocolate bar. I accepted his little offering and placed the chocolate in my mouth, letting it melt.

"You're weird, pipsqueak..."

I felt the corners of my lips twitch when he called me that again.

"Aren't we all?"

Mello scoffed and held the back of my head, pushing it to look back down at the work in front of me. I didn't stop myself from grinning from ear to ear, nor did I stop myself from hiding that smile. I pried his fingers away.

"Alright, alright! I'll study!" I exclaimed, lifting my feet, so I could rest the textbook on my legs. I flipped the page and continued to write. 

As the afternoon progressed, Mello began to read silently next to me as I filled in the textbook. He laid down on the pew, his head leaning on my side, and his book opened to the page I had stopped in. I looked at one of the transparent windows (some windows were covered by stained glass in comparison to normal windows), watching as the sun began to set. The clouds had cleared, emitting the sky with hues of gold and yellow, filling the cathedral with a sudden warmth that was previously missing due to the wintertime. I couldn't help but notice that the sky looked a lot like the colour of Mello's hair. I leaned over him, watching him turn the page of his book once more. My eyes glazed over the words.

Mello shut the book almost immediately, looking up at my face with an annoyed expression.

"No spoilers," He stated.

"What?! No fair!" I whined.

He sat up and handed me the book. I took it gratefully.

"Find out yourself," Mello said as he stretched his arms. When he got up, the sunset hit his pale, unblemished skin, painting him in a warm light. It illuminated his already gorgeous features, displaying the scene as picturesque. In all honesty, it was the first time I wished I had a camera. The cathedral bells tolled, signifying 7 pm. Dinner. He picked up his things, shoving them into his bag without a care in the world. Ignoring the busted zipper, he hoisted it over his shoulder and stood up. I quickly got up and hurried after him, since I knew that he didn't enjoy waiting for others. He shoved the door open with his shoulder, causing it to crash into the person behind it.

"OW!"

Behind the door was Beth, who winced and rubbed her arm as Mello pushed the door open, a little more carefully this time now that he saw her. His blonde brows furrowed at the sight of her.

"Beth?"

Beth beamed when he said her name. Without another word or a second glance, she pulled him away. Mello turned his head back to me before shifting his gaze to Beth and following her. I was still clutching onto the book tightly, left outside of the cathedral by myself. Or so I thought.

As Beth and Mello walked away together, I heard some bickering next to me. My head turned to see a girl, standing by the cathedral doors with her arms folded. She was glaring at someone, scrutinising him with pure annoyance. I looked at her up and down. She had long, wavy, light brown hair that seemed to touch the back of her knees. She stuck her tongue out, and I noticed a small stud on it. I wondered how much trouble she must've gotten in with Roger for getting that piercing done. As the cathedral doors fell shut, I noticed who exactly she was arguing with. I didn't have enough time to react when the person threw his long arms around me.

"M'lady! And I thought he'd chew you out!"

I patted Matt's back when he pulled back, reassuring him I was okay. I looked over at the girl he was arguing with. She rubbed her arm and looked at the both of us with a judging expression. It didn't help that she was taller than the both of us. Not to mention, although she appeared girly, she had a punk vibe to her. Almost tomboyish. Her judging gaze didn't last long. It only seemed to appear when she looked at Matt. I gave her a warm smile and her gaze shifted to a relaxed one. Although she didn't bother returning my smile.

"Val, right?" I asked.

"And you must be y/n," Val replied, walking towards me. Looking at her face closer, I noticed the eyeliner she wore. It wrapped around her eyes, enhancing her already deep blue irises. Her style was aggressively black, I'm surprised Roger never went into shock every time he saw her. I was intimidated, but then again, all of the successors were intimidating.

"What were you doing outside of the cathedral?" I asked Matt.

"I was looking for Mello... and Val was also—"

"Beth was also looking for Mello," Val corrected, rolling her eyes at Matt. I watched as Matt glared back at her.

How awkward.

"Yeah. Well, now that we've found him, you should go." Matt said, hoisting an arm over my shoulder. I looked back at her as she quickly followed after, her face suddenly contorted into an embarrassed expression.

"You said you'd introduce me to her!"

"Yeah? I changed my mind!" Matt taunted. I frowned and looked back at him, lifting his arm off my shoulder.

"I'd like to meet her!" I said, optimistically.

Matt sighed and gestured to Val with a disinterested look on his face.

"Val. Fourth successor. Pain in my ass," He muttered.

Val scoffed at his introduction, but she held my hand and shook it. Her grip was harsh, yet not unkind. I shook it with a sheepish expression on my face. Eventually though, Val let go and began walking next to me as we made our way towards the dining hall. I looked at her questioningly.

"Why do you want to know who I am?"

"Matt promised me he'd help me make a friend," She answered begrudgingly, looking away as if she didn't want to admit it. She pulled on the strings of her black hoodie as if she was uncomfortable by the ordeal. She seemed more reserved than the other students. How come she was friends with someone like Matt?

"I promised you I'd help you make a friend, not play wingman," Matt muttered, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Your fly is down," She muttered. Matt froze.

"Not cool!" He exclaimed, blushing and zipping it back up.

I couldn't help but laugh at their bickering. Matt hit my arm in retaliation and I nudged him back with my shoulder.

Once we reached the dining hall, I pushed the doors open and noticed how empty it was. It was only ten minutes after the bells tolled, so I expected the halls to be packed by now at least. I picked up my tray and one of the workers gave me a plate of spaghetti with a bit of cheese sprinkled on top. I hurried over towards Matt, who had already sat at a table in the corner. Val sat across us, looking out into the distance. The only students in the dining hall were the younger kids, all playing with each other and laughing. Val propped her legs up on the table, despite there being food on it.

"Did we miss something?" She asked, folding her arms.

"Maybe there's a party we weren't invited to?"

Within seconds, a hand landed on the table, causing a loud 'smack'. Underneath the hand was a piece of newspaper, with headlines clear as day.

'52 down by Kira'

I picked up the newspaper and turned back to see who the hand belonged to. Mello was standing over Matt and me with an annoyed expression on his face. Next to him was Beth, who made her way next to Val. One quick look from her and Val dropped her legs from the table. I read the headlines in the newspaper over and over again as if trying to confirm if it was true.

"Kira? Who's Kira?" I asked, curiously.

"Some serial killer..." Mello replied, dragging a chair towards the table and sitting on it.

"A... A WHAT?!" Matt exclaimed, leaning over the table and looking at Mello in disbelief. Mello's words caused my head to spin. There was no way, a serial killer? How was that possible? I knew being around this sort of thing was what we were all working towards, but the way it was happening right now... it felt unreal. Was this a prank? Were we being pranked?!

"I found a few copies of the article outside of Roger's office. Mels and I went and took a peek at it. Word spread and now the other students are cowering in their rooms." Beth explained. Matt looked over at her, staring daggers through his broken goggles.

"Hey! 'Mels' is my thing!"

"Whatever, Matt..." Beth snubbed him and leaned backward.

"Oi, pipsqueak. Did you forget to breathe or what?"

I looked up at Mello, realising I had forgotten to breathe. I took in a sharp breath as I turned to the group in front of me. Val had her hand out, gesturing to the newspaper. I handed it to her, watching her look over the headline over and over again, just like I did. She seemed more unfazed about the situation than I was. She flipped the page open and scanned the pages before announcing.

"L will handle it," She said, with utmost confidence. L, huh?

"Depends if he even takes the case," Matt muttered.

"Well, he should," Val said, throwing the newspaper at Matt as he gestured for her to pass it to him. Matt caught it and read through the contents for himself. 

"Damn..." He mumbled under his breath. I couldn't help but speak out, trying to conceal the bubbling nervousness that was coursing through my veins. I mean, a serial killer that didn't even need contact to kill someone? Why were they so calm about this?

"I-isn't that bad? What if it goes global? What if L takes the case and fails?!" I asked nervously. Beth rested her head on her hand, playing with a lock of her curly blonde hair.

"What Kira does won't concern you. And besides, you don't need to worry about what happens if L fails. He has all five of us to succeed him," She smirked, lifting her head and looking at me with her harsh blue eyes. "Oh wait, you're not part of the successor programme, I forgot you don't know the protocol,"

"Shut up, Beth. You're only 2 percent away from losing your spot," Matt muttered. Beth glared at him and stood up, leaving the dining hall in a huff. Matt snickered and called out after her.

"Do us a favour and hit the door on the way out!" Matt hollered.

Val stood up straight after Matt said that.

"Do us a favour and tape your mouth shut, Matt." Val spat before hurrying after Beth. The three of us sat in silence. Fortunately, Matt broke this silence by leaning over the table and pushing Val's bowl of uneaten spaghetti towards where Mello was sitting. Mello scrunched his nose in slight disgust and pushed the bowl away.

"No thanks,"

"Jesus Mels, you're really going to waste good food like that?"

"Just cover it and wait for one of the staff to pick it up. We have work to do tonight, remember?" Mello reminded, standing up. He didn't bother to put the chair back where it belonged, he just walked towards the doors of the dining hall. Matt pondered for a while before a flash of realisation appeared on his face. He picked up his things, leaving his untouched spaghetti on the table as well. He gave me a final wave and a friendly grin before following after Mello. 

There I was in the dining hall all alone. I looked around and noticed that the younger kids weren't in there anymore. I left the three bowls on the table and headed my way toward the back exit of the room. I pushed the door open, stopping in my tracks when I heard a little whine from the front entrance. I whipped my head back and noticed a little girl crying and holding onto the arm of an older, white haired boy. The older boy looked down at her, an exhausted expression appearing on his already dejected expression.

"Madeline, I told you to stop crying," The older boy muttered, crouching down and looking under one of the tables in the younger kid's corner.

"B-but you gave it to me! A-and I lost it!" The girl whined.

I recognised the older boy almost instantly. It was Near, judging by the hair and the white pyjamas he was wearing. He was crouched on the floor, under the table, searching for something. He expression was exhausted, as if he wanted to do anything but look through every nook and cranny in this dining hall. The room was huge, I couldn't blame him for looking like that. I headed towards them, curious as to what they were looking for.

"Near? What are you doing?"

Near bumped his head on the table as he looked up. He stood up straight, that was the straightest I had ever seen his posture. He rubbed his forehead and looked at me with a surprised expression on his drained face.

"Y/n?"

He blinked before looking down at the younger girl as she tugged onto the left sleeve of his white buttoned up. Her grip looked tight, almost scared. I leaned down with a curious expression on my face. She wiped her snotty nose on his sleeve and Near tensed his shoulders slightly, but he didn't pry her away from him.

"Who's this?" I asked, digging in my bag for a tissue since there were tears on her face. I found a handkerchief and offered it to her. She stared at my offering with her beady, brown, blank eyes and rubbed her eyes with her own sleeves, as if to tell me that she didn't need the handkerchief. I frowned slightly, yet if she was who I thought she was, I couldn't blame her for being so untrusting.

"That's Madeline. She's—"

"The one who got in, right?" I said, lowering my voice so she wouldn't be so scared. Near poked her shoulder and gestured to the handkerchief I was still awkwardly holding. With a small grunt, she took it and blew her nose. Near sighed and lifted his right arm to play with a strand of his curly hair. He looked down at her crying form before speaking.

"She lost one of my toys, and now she's crying for my help," He said, directing his words towards her more than me. Madeline looked away, her face flushed in embarrassment. Even though she was crying, I couldn't help but find her adorable. Her straight, pitch black hair was tied into two messy buns on the sides of her head, almost making her look like a hamster. She wore a light blue shirt with matching pyjama pants, her brown skin was tinged with a bit of red, her cheeks glistening with tears.

"I could help you look for it," I offered, standing up from my crouched position. Near's expression lit up ever so slightly at my offer. Three pairs of eyes were better than two after all. I ducked under the tables, like Near was previously doing, and began looking for the toy that Madeline lost.

"What does this toy look like?" I asked Near. I was surprised when Madeline answered without hesitation

"I-It's a cat! A white fluffy cat with big black button eyes!" She cried.

"So it looks like Near?" I joked.

Madeline paused her crying and looked up at Near, analysing his features. A few seconds later, she bursted into a fit of giggles. I looked back at her, amazed at the fact I managed to make her laugh.

"Exactly like him!" She cheered, clapping her hands and bouncing up and down a bit. I got out from under the table and placed my hand on my chin in a thinking position. I didn't usually do gestures when I was thinking, but I thought if I could make her laugh, she wouldn't feel so guarded around me. Meanwhile, Near was still playing with his hair, with two hands now, since Madeline had let go of him to clap her hands.

"Are you sure this was the last place you saw it? Did anyone else have it at some point?" I asked her, leaning back down to look at her.

"Uh huh! It was here in the dining hall! I gave it to someone before..." Her voice trailed of as she stared at me in realisation. At the same time, Near shifted his gaze to look back at her with a slightly irked expression.

"You gave it to someone and you decided to bring that up now?" Near inquired, a slightly annoyed undertone in his voice.

"You never asked!"

Near let out a quiet huff and walked towards the front entrance of the dining hall, gesturing for me to follow. I walked after him, turning around to see if Madeline was coming. Madeline quickly waddled towards me and held onto the strap of my bag as we left the dining hall.

----

I had started to grow tired from knocking on so many doors just to find that stupid cat plush. Not to mention, the younger student's quarters were on the upper floor. I got exhausted even thinking about the amount of stairs I have to climb down just to get back to my room. Eventually, we got to door 40, a boy was behind it, holding onto the cat toy. After a long while of bickering with Madeline, he ungratefully threw it at her before slamming the door. I clenched my fists and was about to knock on the door again when Near grabbed my wrist.

"Ignore him," He said. I reluctantly put my fist away and watched as Madeline smoothed out the fur on the plush toy before standing on her tiptoes and holding it up for Near to take it.

"I found it!" She exclaimed. Near picked the toy off her arms before handing it back to her.

"Keep it," He muttered, even though there was a hint of reluctance behind his words.

"Really?!" Madeline exclaimed, following Near as he turned towards the stairs.

I followed after, realising we were supposed to be going the same way. I was swallowed by my thoughts during the walk back to my room. Near seemed slightly different than usual. Was this Madeline's doing? If so, I was surprised he could change his demeanour so easily because of a small girl. It was intriguing to think about. I hadn't realised how consumed I was in my thoughts, realising Near was staring at me with those panda eyes of his, an eyebrow raised slightly. I looked around and noticed we were outside his room — the exact opposite area to where I was supposed to go.

"Is there a reason you are following me?" Near asked. I flinched at his question and rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly.

"Oh! I just..."

My gaze darted around the room, hoping as if by some miracle, an excuse would be written on the walls. My eyes landed on a vase by the windowsill and I quickly blurted out the first thing that came to mind when I saw it.

"The portrait! You uh... made a portrait of me weeks ago, remember?" I asked, trying my best not to sound self centred when I said that. Near raised his eyebrows before turning back to his door and inserting the key into the keyhole. He didn't say anything and I played with my fingers awkwardly while he fiddled with the lock on his door. The door swung open and Madeline entered it immediately, without bothering to ask Near for permission first. He opened the door wider, a gesture to invite me in.

With his permission, I entered his room. I was greeted by robot figures littered on the floor by my feet. I stared at the interior of his room with bewilderment. Whatever I expected his room to look like, this wasn't it. It was like walking into a chaotic toy store. His room was huge, which I expected for that of Wammy's first successor. I could hardly see where his bed was since there was a tarot card tower that concealed the bed completely. The shelves weren't filled with study material as I expected it would, just a display of his other figures. Monsters, robots, it all had their well-organised section on the shelf. Madeline made her way toward the corner of the room, which was the home of a small pile of plush toys. She jumped into it, the toys cushioning her fall.

Near's table was full of different coloured sketchbooks that had labels on them. 'Furniture', 'Toys', and 'Landscapes' were some of the titles. I noticed there was one, neatly tucked in the corner, between his pencils and pens. I picked the sketchbook up and read the label.

"Distractions?"

Near, who was picking up the robot figures on the ground, spoke out.

"I plan on sketching everything I deem as a distraction in there. So I won't interact with it in the future," He said simply.

I opened the book, surprised to see that there was nothing in there.

"So... you get distracted by nothing?"

"I consider myself an adequate multitasker," He explained, placing the figures back to their respective cubicle on the shelf. I nodded and placed the book down, shifting my attention towards the easel by the table, which I recognised as the same one he had in the art room. Near headed towards the easel and gently turned it around, revealing his portrait.

I walked towards it, my eyes widening in awe. For being a portrait of me, he hadn't used natural colours at all. To put it simply, the portrait was a bomb of colours that worked in the right way. It was painted in a way that made me look like I was under the colourful stained glass windows of the cathedral. I reached out and felt the face on the portrait with my left hand, touching my face with my right, as if to confirm that the face on the portrait was mine.

"Woah..." That was all I managed to choke out from my shock. I looked over at Near, who was gripping the side of the easel tightly.

"How on earth do you paint like this?!"

"Blood, sweat, and tears," He said bluntly.

"Sarcasm?" I asked.

Near's lips twitched upwards ever so slightly when I caught onto his little comment. He quickly turned his head to hide his face, looking at the easel. He slowly lifted the canvas off the easel, careful not to drop the it as he did so. He passed the canvas to me and I looked at him with disbelief.

"Keep it. I seem to be an expert in giving my things away today," He muttered, twisting his hair again. I looked down at the painting in my hands before holding it close to my chest, afraid it would disappear if I let go of it for even a second. Near escorted me towards the door and Madeline jumped up, waving me goodbye with a lively grin on her face, a stark contrast to her crying form from earlier. I waved back at her, watching the door close quietly. I stared at Near's door for a few more seconds before turning to go back to my room.

Chapter Text

December 5th 2003

Lonely.

I was fully aware that the successors had tutoring after classes on Fridays, but it just made eating in the dining hall lonelier than it should be. I poked at the meat pie in front of me with newfound boredom, waiting for anyone to arrive. Mello, Matt, Near, Val, and even Madeline would've been sufficient enough for me. The dining hall was deserted, much more than during examination week. I was betting that the other orphans were still afraid of that whole ordeal from yesterday. I stared at my uneaten food in silence as I continued to think things over.

Kira.

A pit formed in my stomach as I remembered that name.

I snapped out of my irrational thoughts and dug through my open bag, attempting to find solace in the book Mello lended. I carefully picked out the book, making sure I didn't get any grease on the pages. I flipped through the page and let my eyes glaze over the words, ignoring the thoughts circulating my mind. I prodded at my meal and finally took a bite, although I forced myself to swallow because the feeling in my stomach refused to disappear. 

I turned the page, reassured by the words of Lemony Snicket and the Baudelaires. I had stopped a little after the scene where they had watched 'Zombies in the Snow' at the theatres, as well as past Count Olaf's futile attempts to assassinate Montgomery Montgomery (or informally, Uncle Monty). The Baudelaires were discussing matters in regards to Count Olaf together, I couldn't help but feel the anticipation build up inside me as I realised they weren't with Uncle Monty. I had only read the first book, so I couldn't imagine what Count Olaf could possibly do that was worse than attempting to marry Violet Baudelaire just for her inheritance.

Engrossed in the story, I left the food on my plate uneaten. I leaned back on my chair and lifted my knees to my chest, ignoring the chatter of the students around me as I directed my attention fully toward the book. From the characters to the plot to the antagonist, it was perfectly sculpted. The novels in the library here weren't as interesting or meant for someone of my demographic. I had never been so focused on writing like this.

So much so, that I didn't feel his presence looming over my head like an insect.

"Woah, you're reading? I didn't know idiots could read!"

Teo stood over me, blocking the soft moonlight that was emitting from the windows. Behind him was Benji and a younger boy. The younger boy I had recognised from yesterday, he was the one that had stolen Madeline's plush toy. No wonder he was so rotten, Teo must've 'adopted' him. I glared at him, my lips twisting into a frown.

"I'm not an idiot, Teo," I muttered, still too meek to do anything in a public place like this. I shut the book and placed it on the table as I picked up my bag, ready to change locations now that he was here. In leaving the book unattended for even a second, Teo quickly grabbed it and threw it up and down, treating it like a toy. I looked up and saw the book in his hands, my heart racing immediately in anxiousness. That book wasn't mine, it was Mello's. I quickly stood up, watching Teo run around the table to get away from me. I leaned over the table, attempting to grab the book off him.

"Wait!" I exclaimed.

"Hm, 'The Reptile Room'? This isn't from the library," He taunted, stating the obvious. My cheeks grew red. I stopped leaning over the table and shifted to walk around it. However, Benji and the younger boy blocked both routes, meaning I was stuck on the other side of the table, watching as Teo bellowed out the contents of the book.

"Give it back!" I pleaded. He flashed a rude grin in return, it was so wide I could see the food lodged in the crevices. I refrained myself from gagging at the sight. He shoved the food I had ignored off the table, standing on top of it, elevating his authority. He raised his hand with the book up in the air, so I couldn't get to it. I looked around, noticing the others in the dining hall were looking in our direction. People were watching. I was stuck. 

"What on earth would Roger would think about this? Did you sneak out to get it? Huh?" He pestered. My shoulders tensed and I stiffened under his glare. His words were partially true, more than I would've preferred. He loomed the book over me, hoisting it up whenever I made a futile attempt to grab it.

"Oops! Why don't you jump for it?"

"That isn't mine..." I mumbled begrudgingly. Teo suddenly stopped, staring at the book with an eyebrow raised. A confused expression on his ugly face.

"Then who's is it?" He inquired. I opened my mouth to respond, but someone did it for me.

"It's mine, asshole!"

My head jerked towards the boy who said that. I watched as Mello climbed on the table without hesitation, standing in front of Teo with a vexed expression on his face. His lips had contorted into a sneer as extended his arm upwards, reaching for the book. He didn't bother hiding the fact that he was flaunting his height over Teo. In a fit of rage, Teo lunged at Mello in an attempt to push him off the table. Mello stumbled backward, yet he regained his balance. He dropped the book on the floor, freeing his hand. He raised his fist to land a hard punch at Teo's jaw, causing him to fall off the table with a yelp. 

"OW! What the FUCK?!" Teo yelled, grabbing at his head as he seethed in pain. Mello ignored him jumped off the table and quickly made his way towards me, I was fumbling with the zipper on my bag.

"Hurry up, pipsqueak," He urged, pulling on my shirt and hurrying me towards the back exit of the dining hall. I stumbled as I attempted to keep up with his quickened pacing.

"Wait! Your book!" I prompted, turning to go back to the scene. I froze when I noticed Teo was bleeding at the head, Benji was crouched down and pressing a handkerchief to stop the blood.

"There's nothing to it after chapter 6. Montgomery dies, Poe doesn't believe the Baudelaires and they move on,"

"Monty... what?!"

"The lives of the Baudelaires aren't important right now," Mello pressed, his steps heavy and intentional. I rushed after him, my body jerking every time he pulled my shirt to make me change direction. At this hour, the hallways were completely barren, although the rooms down this hall led to anywhere but the places we were allowed to go to. He stopped walking abruptly and I bumped into him before I could comprehend his sudden stop. He looked up at the room that was in front of me. Right at the top was written in bold.

'Newsroom'

There were two bobby pins stuck in the lock of the door methodically, I figured it must've been Matt's doing. Mello didn't hesitate to enter the room, my stomach twisted in a knot as I realised this was a restricted area of the house. I looked around, making sure there was no one around to see me enter the room after him. The room was littered with newspapers all over the floor, as well as in stacks that reached the top of the room. Right in the middle, Matt was flipping through a long newspaper, an unfamiliar expression on his freckled face. Unease.

Mello picked up one of the rolled newspapers on the floor and tossed it to me. I caught it, feeling it slip off my hands slightly. Once I fixed my grip on it properly, I removed the rubber band that was holding it together. My eyes darted towards the title of the article.

'Death of Lind L Tailor proves the existence of Kira?'

"Roger extended tutoring to tell us not to worry about this case," Mello explained, an annoyed expression on his face. There was a hint of dejection behind it, as if he wanted to be involved in this somehow. I watched as Matt balled up the newspaper that was in his hands and tossed it over his shoulder with such disregard.

"Kira this, Kira that. He doesn't compare to 'B'," Matt muttered.

"'B'?" I asked, tilting my head in confusion. At the same time, Matt pursed his lips and averted his gaze. He pushed his goggles onto his face as if attempting to hide behind them. His buttoned nose wrinkled as he played coy, attempting to direct my attention away from his words.

"Don't worry about it, you look lovely this evening, M'lady," He stuttered as he stared at a blank spot on the wall. I raised an eyebrow and frowned at his words.

"My face is over here," I mumbled before shaking my head, wanting to go back to the topic at hand. Mello whacked Matt's head with his slender fingers. Matt winced and grabbed his head with a small pout on his face, although he didn't say anything since his little slip-up was his fault in the first place.

"What part of 'don't mention 'B' do you not understand?" Mello snapped.

"All of it, apparently..." Matt snickered under his breath.

"Who the hell is 'B'?! Wh— who even is Lind L Tailor?!" I asked, again confused by their cryptic words.  I read the first line out loud, the paper rustling noisily as my hand shook.

"A man named Lind L Tailor, someone who has claimed to be the famous detective L dies on live television?! This isn't true, right?! L isn't dead, right??!" I panicked as I shoved the article in front of Mello, desperately wanting him to deny my thoughts outright.

"Read ahead, pipsqueak. It says he was impersonating L for the sake of the case," Mello replied, moving the paper away from his face. I exhaled softly in realisation, slightly embarrassed by my little blunder. My hands stopped shaking, yet I still stared at the paper with a perplexed expression. I had so many questions fill my thoughts, yet I couldn't form any of them into words. Thankfully, I didn't have to.

"We came here after watching someone deliver a stack of newspapers at the front. Roger stores them in here before he disposes of them all," Mello explained. 

First question answered.

"So L's not really dead?" I asked, finally able to formulate my thoughts into words.

"No, he took on the case. It probably means that it's freaky as shit," Matt exaggerated, gesturing at the words on the paper. "I mean, someone who can kill with just a face and a name? Hella weird, huh?"

"V-very..." I muttered, shuddering at the thought.

Mello opened his mouth to speak, but I beat him to it.

"Who's 'B'?"

He stiffened.

"That's confidential," He stated, licking his lips and hopping to sit on a huge stack of newspapers. His legs swung anxiously, I couldn't tell why he was so tense about the subject. I looked at Matt, expecting him to answer my question, yet Matt stood by Mello, still paying attention to the blank spot on the wall. I furrowed my eyebrows at their strange behaviours. I dropped the newspaper and folded my arms, turning my head to Mello, who was currently digging through his grey hoodie for a bit of chocolate.

"You owe me an explanation for dragging me out here, y'know?" I stated, pressing a finger at Mello's chest before he could take a bite of his chocolate. He let out a long exhale, his aquamarine, almond eyes hardening at my persistence.

"I helped you with Teo, did I not?" He reasoned, like he was trying his best to worm his way out of it.

"Teo? Teo picked on you again?!" Matt exclaimed, snapping out of his little daze. He folded his arms and leaned back on the wall that he was once staring at. "How did you manage to piss him off so badly?"

"I read a book," I said satirically.

"Jesus, is he really against modern literature?"

I couldn't help but crack a smile, even though I was supposed to be mad at those two. I exhaled in amusement before shaking my head, remembering I was supposed to be upset at both of them for being so obscure yet again. I clutched the newspaper in my hands tight, channeling my frustration into my grip rather than my words.

"Come on..." I persuaded.

"Well, I tried," Matt shrugged, moving to Mello and giving his a big clap on the back. Mello jerked forward and glared at Matt.

"Fine," Mello grunted, pocketing his uneaten chocolate and pushing himself off the stack of papers. I followed close after him, making sure he wouldn't run away or something of that sort. Matt followed behind and leisurely slammed the light in the newsroom shut. The door closed with a click and Matt fiddled with the bobby pins that were stuck in the keyhole. He picked out the pins from the lock and grinned widely, as if he had accomplished something.

"Where'd you get the bobby pins?" I inquired. Last I checked, Matt wasn't one to wear accessories. I heard someone clear their throat and my gaze snapped to see Val walking towards the three of us. She wore dark blue jeans and a loose t-shirt, only striped arm warmers to conceal herself from the cold weather that enveloped us. She tapped her foot up and down impatiently, leaning against the wall and holding a hand out to Matt. He dropped the pins on her palm and she eyed them up and down with a slightly condescending glare, furrowing her eyebrows at Matt after inspecting the pins in her hand.

"You could've picked the lock without stretching my pins out,"

Matt let out a loud exhale in dismissal of Val's words.

"You clearly don't understand how lock picking works," He muttered.

Val folded her long arms across her chest. Her teal coloured nails, drummed up and down on her elbow as she stared at the newspaper in my hands. Without asking, she snatched it off me and read the headlines, her face contorting into a perplexed expression. After scanning the whole thing, she folded it up and handed it back to me.

"So L proved the existence of Kira. Is that all I should know?"

'B'. I wanted to know if she knew anything about him.

"Well—" 

"Yes," Mello interjected quickly, turning to walk away from the three of us. Matt followed and I hurried after the two of them, giving Val a gentle wave to say goodbye. She returned my wave, pinning her hair with the bobby pins and walking in direction of the dining hall.

----

I sat cross-legged on his bedroom floor, sitting straighter than usual. Mello's room was a slight contrast to Near's in regards to cleanliness. In his room, he had two bookshelves in total. The first shelf consisted of fictional books, ordered alphabetically. It was an emporium for modern literature, I was itching to browse through it since I had not recognised any of the books wedged in there. The second shelf consisted of textbooks, each shelf labelled with a subject. In total, ten shelves. I shuddered at the thought of doing ten subjects with additional tutoring after classes.

"I've had a conversation with L before," Mello announced, flopping on top of the blue comforter on his bed, pulling off his hoodie. He balled it up and threw them in a laundry basket at the corner of his room, leaving him in his black, linen, long sleeved shirt.

"You've talked to L?!" I exclaimed, balling my fists and leaning forwards, wide eyed, with anticipation.

"I wouldn't call it a conversation, Mels. Last I recalled, you told me you just sat and stared in awe at his magnificence," Matt wheezed, making his way to the heater in the corner and fiddling with its broken state. Mello sat up, face flushed, and threw a pillow at Matt's head.

"He told me three stories," Mello continued, ignoring Matt's little comment about him. "One of them was the story of 'B',"

"L was real creative with that name, huh?" Matt asked, banging repeatedly on the heater until it would turn back on.

'B'... that name was equally as terrifying as 'Kira'.

"'B' was L's second successor. He went batshit crazy from the pressure of this place. It's pretty obvious that the main purpose of Wammy's is to turn us into L's lackeys or whatnot, but 'B' didn't want that. He wanted to become him."

"W-wait..." I stuttered, attempting to wrap my head around what Mello was implying. "If you're now L's second successor... that mean he's—"

"Dead, yeah,"

"Dead as hell," Matt added, gesturing towards the heater now that he got it working properly. I scooted over to Matt, grateful for the warmth concealing the coldness behind Mello's words. I held my hands over the heat and shivered. Not from the cold, but from Matt's words.

"If he's dead, why fuss about him?" I asked, my curiosity piqued.

"He was a criminal. An amazing one at that. If you thought L was weird from his speech a few days ago, 'B' would be ten times worse. He wanted to challenge L— surpass him. He desired to create a case that not even the greatest detective himself could solve," Mello said, joining the both of us in front of the heat. Thunder crackled and I flinched at the loud noise. 

"If he was a super weirdo, why was he accepted into Wammy's? Wouldn't Roger or Mr Wammy notice and kick him out or something?"

"Please, you think they care about that? 'B' was special in their eyes. Er— at least with the limited vision those old men have," Matt shrugged, leaning back on the wall. I huffed in amusement at his little comment, although Mello seemed less than impressed.

"'B' was only accepted into the house because he had a wack talent," Mello continued, his voice harsh as he glared at us with a look that screamed the words 'shut up'. He took his time to grab a piece of chocolate from his pocket and unravel the foil around it. "L told me that he was accepted into the orphanage because he managed to guess his name just by looking at his face. No research, no questions, nothing."

"So... he performed a party trick to get in? I don't see the prob—"

"He could also predict when people would die with complete accuracy," Mello interjected. He looked like he was growing frustrated with my countless questions, so I shut up quickly. Yet his words caused a pit to form in my stomach, much like the one I had whenever I thought about Kira. Thunder crackled again and Matt giggled at the timing.

"Not only that. He had a few... quirks," Matt muttered, testing the word. "His habits included crawling on all fours, forcing himself to laugh continuously for hours on end, and eating the house's supply of strawberry jam right out of the jar using his bare hands, with straight disregard for sanitary decency!"

He said the last bit with utmost confidence, like it was the most indecent oddity out of all of them. Matt turned his head straight to Mello, who was licking his chocolate bar.

"Shut up, Matt. This is not a communal jar of jam!" Mello scoffed, rewrapping the chocolate with the slightly crushed bit of foil in his hand. He looked so calm, despite the fact Matt had just indirectly compared him to 'B'. I, however, was trying not to let the fear show in my face. Something about Mello's little tale being based on true events didn't sit right with me. He sighed and continued his story.

"'B' left the house in silence in May last year. You'd think he'd make more of a fuss about this place than the others, but he managed to disappear without a trace. You know it's bad when L himself couldn't track him down. No one knew where he ran of to, nor what he was planning on doing. However, he resurfaced on the 31st of July last year. The first murder occurred in Los Angeles."

"W-wait—! I promise this is my last interruption!" I exclaimed. Mello sighed and raised an eyebrow, allowing me to continue.

"If he left last year... doesn't that mean he's been in the house the whole time?!"

"Just because he was in here doesn't mean we saw him. I mean... he was hiding," Matt said, stretching his words with a ghostly voice for dramatic effect. I looked towards Mello, wanting him to deny Matt's words.

"He's right, pipsqueak. Wonder why no one ever went inside door 13?" He asked. A shiver ran down my spine as I realised the implication behind his words.

I bit back another question. Mello was annoyed.

"Anyways, the murders were titled the Los Angeles BB murder cases. 'BB' stood for the name he gave himself— 'Beyond Birthday'. Honestly, that moron could've given himself a name more suited to his ability. Like 'Abnormal Aliases' or 'Death Date',"

"Or 'Creepy Crawler'," Matt snorted.

Matt was the only one helping me feel less afraid of Beyond Birthday.

"The one who solved this case was an FBI member named 'Naomi Misora'. Although the way she was enlisted was nothing more than accidental," Mello muttered bitterly. "Beyond impersonated L to get her hooked on the case. Voice scrambler and all, you've seen it yourself,"

"Y-yeah, I have..." I said, awkwardly looking at the floor. If an FBI agent fell for that trick, I was sure I would too.

"Beyond's first victim was a forty-year-old freelance writer. He was nicknamed 'Believe Bridesmaid'. He was drugged and choked with a blunt rope. The perverted bastard even took the liberty of changing him before the police arrived—"

Matt snorted, receiving a sneer from Mello at his childishness.

"—They found carvings in his chest that were created post-mortem. There were four Wara Ningyo hung at the crime scene."

"Not only that, when Misora went to investigate, she met Beyond. At the time, the freak was impersonating L under the name 'Ryuzaki'," Matt reminded. 

Beyond was there? Under another alias? My head was starting to hurt.

"Misora noticed that the markings on Bridesmaid's chest were Roman Numerals. They correlated to the books at the crime scene, which spelled out the name of the second victim. Quarter Queen," The heater sputtered again. Mello whacked the top of the heater with his closed fist, causing the noise to halt. The silence was fitting, considering what he said next shook me to the core.

"Quarter Queen was a thirteen year old girl,"

I scooted closer to the heater in an attempt to get rid of the obvious goosebumps on my skin from his words. I felt Matt shift closer to me, and I accepted his little gesture to make me feel better about the situation.

"Want a jacket?" He offered, pointing at the the hair on my arms.

"I'm okay..." I reassured. 

"Like Bridesmaid, she was drugged. She died from a hit to the back of her head, blunt force trauma," Mello swallowed thickly before hardening his voice yet again. "It wasn't as brutal as the others. Beyond mutilated her body post-mortem, like he did with Bridesmaid. Her eyes were crushed, contact lenses removed and her glasses were put on, although it didn't have any lenses."

"Skip over the details, Mels," Matt huffed, his easygoing expression had changed to one of slight fear at Mello's calm demeanour.

"Whatever. There were three Wara Ningyo nailed to the walls at the crime scene. Unlike Bridesmaid, she was found laying on her front. Misora deduced it was because 'b' and 'q' were a reflection of each other. Not to mention she was..."

Mello noticed my uneasy expression.

"...Small. So 'quarter queen' would be written in lowercase," He finished.

"Why was Beyond helping Misora? Shouldn't he be leading her away from the case?" I asked, still perplexed about the situation.

"He was leading her to the main event," Matt explained, calming down now that quarter queen's bit was over. He rested his head back on the wall and signalled for Mello to keep going.

"The last murder was named 'Backyard Bottomslash', a twenty-eight year old bank worker. This time, Beyond decided he wanted to experiment on someone. He tested to see if she could die of internal haemorrhage without rupturing any organs. She was drugged, much like the others. Her left arm was beaten, yet her skin was left unbroken. When beyond's attempts were futile, he cut off her left arm and right leg, causing her to die of blood loss."

"Don't try to envision that, M'lady," Matt probed.

I shook that image out of my head immediately.

"If you're going to succeed L, you're going to have to stop wincing at every little detail," Mello reprimanded, standing up to stretch his arms out. "Especially you, Matt."

Matt stuck his tongue out at Mello, in an attempt to look less bothered than he truly was.

"Just finish the damn story,"

Even though I was still nauseated from Mello's words, I was curious as to how the story ended.

"Beyond led Misora to the scene of the final crime, which was an apartment. He convinced the both of them to split up, in an attempt to lead her astray. That faithful night, he was planning to commit his final murder. Himself,"

"Psycho," Matt commented. I scooted closer to where Mello was standing with interest.

"Misora was intelligent— L said so himself, so I'm obligated to believe it," Mello stated. "She figured out the case in its whole. How Beyond was impersonating L to get to her. How he was planning to commit suicide and create an unsolvable crime. And he did exactly that. He locked himself in one of the apartment's rooms and set everything up, lighting himself on fire."

My eyes widened. At the same time, the heater sputtered once more and I realised my hands were burning. I was so absorbed in the story, I hadn't noticed. I pulled my hands away sheepishly.

"Fire would hurt more than that," Matt reminded, digging through one of Mello's cupboards for some aloe. I accepted gratefully, lathering the aloe over my palms.

"Want me to finish?" Mello inquired.

"Y-yes please! What happened after?!"

"Misora found out of course. She broke into the room and found him. Burnt. Simply put— a red-black mass of flesh. He was barely human," He stated. "Instead of erasing himself, the idiot got himself caught. He wanted his face and fingerprints to burn as well. That way, Misora wouldn't know that he was 'B' from Wammy's. He was fully intent on severing ties with this place."

"But... I don't get it? If Beyond killed himself, wouldn't the case be solved?"

"You can't solve a case without the identity of the murderer, pipsqueak," Mello reminded. "Beyond didn't leave any clues at the crime scene either. He was so sure that he wouldn't get caught."

"But L and Misora are much smarter!" Matt chimed in optimistically. "Point to L!"

I chuckled at his little cheer, before trying to think of more questions. I still didn't fully understand it, but was it so bad if I couldn't understand the thought process of a mass murderer?

"H-hold on. If there's a 'B', theres definitely an 'A', right?!" I exclaimed, my heart pounding at my little discovery. Matt and Mello exchanged glances, the silence finally evident in the room. Matt spoke first.

"What makes you say—"

"Matt, stop. Yeah, there was an 'A'," Mello confirmed, folding his arms. "'A' was L's first successor. Intelligent, talented, top of his class. Just imagine him as a carbon copy of Near. No one knew much about him. He didn't even have a name. Just locked under the confines of this shitty place,"

Mello took a quick glance at his dresser before moving to the bed and sitting up, letting his legs dangle over the edge. He looked hesitant, yet he still pushed forwards.

"He didn't live long. I had only seen him once in my life,"

"You saw him?!"

"Yeah, when I was six, probably," Mello muttered before looking away, realising he had just given away more about his past than he probably wanted to. I didn't bother pressing on the subject. "'A' cracked first. Even though I was young, I could still remember the fuss about him. He was extremely important— first place, y'know?"

His voice was bitter as he said that.

"One day, he escaped from the house. Roger went on a tangent, students were cheering since they thought they'd move up a spot now with him gone,"

"How could people be so heartless?"

"It's competition," Matt shrugged. "It always will be."

"His freedom was short lived. Roger brought him back, he committed shortly after," Mello breathed. "This place is cruel, pipsqueak. Try not to crack like 'A'."

----

Matt and I were pushed out of Mello's room almost immediately. He mumbled something about 'studying' before kicking us out. I huffed, staring at the door, furrowing my eyebrows at his secrecy. Although, Matt didn't seem to mind. He just gave me a wide grin in consolation of Mello's actions. I still had one more question, except I knew I couldn't ask Mello this.

"Why was he so hesitant to tell me about 'B'— er— Beyond?"

Matt chuckled, shoving his hands in the pockets of his grey pants, walking in the direction of my room. I followed after.

"He doesn't share his stories about L a lot. He's a super massive gatekeeper," Matt snickered at his friend's attitude. "But I think it's cause of something else."

"Something else?"

"There's a reason why L told Mello that story specifically. When I heard Beyond's story for the first time, I understood immediately," He stated simply, exhaling in exhaustion.

"You think Mello's like Beyond?!" I exclaimed, stopping in my tracks. "But that's so farfetched! He... he doesn't laugh at all! He doesn't crawl... and at least he has some sanitary decency...!"

"You're funny," He teased.

"I just don't see it,"

"You don't, or you don't want to?"

I fell silent. Mello was always driven to surpass Near at all costs, much like how Beyond was to L.

"B-both?" I stuttered.

Matt chuckled, moving towards the door of my room and extending an arm to point at it. His other hand crossed over his chest and he bowed playfully, trying to ease the tension in the air with his little gestures. I had to admit it was working. I cracked a smile and dug through my pockets for the key to my room and I inserted it into the lock, twisting the knob at the same time. 

"I'll see you tomorrow, M'lady," He said.

"Yeah, tomorrow,"

----

Near sat up from resting his head on the desk, blinking slightly. It was one of those rare occasions where he had finally gotten an ounce of sleep at this place. He looked around at his messy room, noticing Madeline was sleeping on his bed, cuddling the little plush toy towards her chest. He sighed and got up, checking the time. 12:02 am. Mello would definitely chew him up for being late by two short minutes. He picked out a small, wooden box from his dresser, slipping it in a bag before exiting his room and onto the darkened hallway. 

Near walked towards the room next to his, knocking on the door a total of three times. The customary amount of knocks.

"That's not the secret password!" A voice called out. It was much to whiny and lively to be Mello's.

"Secret knocks aren't useful, Matt," Near retorted, yet he complied with Matt's wishes. He knocked on the door once, then three times, then twice. The door swung open, a bright light emitted from the room.

Mello sat by his desk, flipping through the blue-tagged folder. His eyebrows were furrowed as he continued to look over it, ignoring Near's presence in the room. Meanwhile, Matt was flopped on the bed in the room, his head bopping up and down, ears plugged with earphones, earphones plugged into his mp3 player. Near walked up to Mello and dropped the box on the desk in front of him, vexed at his lack of attention.

"You're late," Mello prodded.

"Two minutes is hardly 'late'," Near protested quietly.

"For you it is..."

"I thought you said you didn't need my help," Near muttered with a hint of arrogance in his tone, shifting his hands up to play with the ends of his pristine, white hair. Mello scowled at Near's demeanour and gestured towards Matt, ignoring his smug words.

"Oi! Matt!"

"What?!" Matt sat up and removed one of the buds from his ears.

"You have gloves, open it."

"Yeah, yeah," Matt picked up the wooden box and dusted it off. The box was relatively small, a large letter 'A' painted at the top in the colour blue. There were cracks on the box, sure enough to give anyone splinters. The box had a latch at the front, protected by a keyhole. He sighed and looked at Mello. 

"No dice, I don't have pins,"

Mello lifted a pair of bobby pins towards Matt.

"Beth's?" Matt asked, a slight sneer on his face.

"Get over it, Matt. It's not defective,"

Matt used the bobby pins, intentionally stretching it out more than he needed to. He stuck the pins into the lock and fiddled around until it opened with a small 'click'. He exhaled, gingerly lifting the lid of the box. The box contained a pair of shoes, a locket, and a picture that was cut in half. Matt lifted the picture to his face and frowned. 

"Last I checked, 'A' wasn't a girl," Matt snorted, throwing the picture at Mello's head. Mello caught it mid-air, staring at the picture in shocked silence.

"I thought you said this was his capsule, Near..." He seethed. Near flinched at his tone, yet he didn't look perturbed in the slightest.

"It is his capsule, there's an 'A' at the front, like you said," Near pointed at the picture. There was a hand, holding the shoulder of the little, smiling girl. "That's probably him, the photo is cut."

Mello huffed in compliance, digging through a pouch on his desk. He picked up a few notes and shoved it in Near's hand begrudgingly.

"There. Go buy yourself a new toy the next time Roger lets us out,"

"Aren't you interested in where I found it? I could be lying," Near prodded, a small smirk on his face. Mello's eyes darkened and he clenched his fists at Near's words.

"Piss off, Near." Mello gritted. "I'm smart enough to know if you're lying,"

"Really?" Near asked sarcastically.

The tension in the air was palpable. Matt seemed to notice and he plastered a small grin on his face as he grabbed the back of Near's shirt and pulled him away from Mello. He laughed sheepishly and looked at the both of them, his eyes crinkling with amusement.

"No need to fight, fellas!"

"He is not my 'fella'" Mello muttered in annoyance. Near huffed and looked away from Matt, mumbling in agreeance.

"Whatever. don't say I didn't try," Matt sighed, letting go of Near's shirt. Near dusted himself off and folded his arms at the brunette, his expression contorted into one of annoyance.

"Refrain from pulling on my shirt. The seams will tear,"

"How about I refrain from touching you altogether?"

"That would be efficient, yes,"

Matt's expression soured as his little comment flew over Near's head like that. He looked at Mello, who was still staring intently at the picture. Mello lifted a hand to dismiss Near, like he was some sort of lackey that worked under him. Near rolled his eyes and walked to the door, twisting on the knob gently, sure to not make a sound.

"I only helped you because I'm curious about her myself," He clarified curtly. "Don't take this the wrong way."

"We're not friends, if you're confused," Mello replied bluntly.

Near pursed his lips before closing the door behind him. Matt clicked the lock on the door and looked over at Mello as he continued to inspect the photo. He strode towards him, poking his head over Mello's shoulder. 

"Anything interesting?"

"There's words back here..."

Mello flipped the image, reading the words that were written on the back. Matt leaned closer, lifting his scratched goggles to get a good look. Mello exhaled quietly, relived he had finally confirmed his suspicions. There on the photograph had two names written at the back of it. Due to the cut, one of the names was incomplete.

'Y/n, from A—'

Chapter Text

December 6th 2003

Not sleeping was becoming a repeating pattern in my life here.

I blinked, staring at the colourful particles floating in the darkness that enveloped my room. The atmosphere remained silent, the occasional whirring of my heater interrupted my clouded thoughts every so often. Inhale, exhale. I had continued this repeating pattern for hours, my eyes remaining wide open. They would've thought I'd gone mad had anyone seen me like that.

Not that any passerby would be in my room at such an ungodly period. Unless they were named 'Matt'.

Howling winds clamoured against the glass of my window, clattering the screws mercilessly. I knew I should've requested Arielle to repair it when she had asked months ago. Now I was dealing with two noises rather than one. I shoved my heavy comforter off of the bed, watching it pool onto the ground. I timidly hopped off, pattering my way towards the window. I squinted through the darkness, realising that behind my thin, brown curtains stood a silhouette suspiciously in the shape of a deranged man behind it.

I lifted my right hand over the blinds, noticing it was shaking heavily. I held onto it with my left, silently ordering myself to stop shaking. 

"Beyond is gone..." I reminded myself.

Beyond is gone. Beyond is gone. Beyond is—

I yanked the blinds, revealing the missing silhouette. Biting my lip, I wiped the frost-covered windows with the sleeves of my pink woollen sweater. I squinted, an impractical attempt at looking through the darkness. When my efforts were deemed futile, I grabbed my flashlight keychain that hung loosely on my bag. I inhaled sharply before swinging the window open and flashing the light outside, exposing the object that made the silhouette. All I could see were beds of snow, covering the premise with its pristine charm. I moved the light towards the tree standing in the snow, the perpetrator of my hallucinations.

"I'm going crazy..." I muttered to myself, shutting the window with a 'bang', which ironically caused me to flinch.

The winds disrupted the already run-down foundation of the house, creaking sounds becoming louder and louder. It was as if the wind, the rattling of my window's screws, and the hum of my heater were competing to see which one of them could make the loudest noise. Unfortunately, my heater was losing. The room's temperature gradually became colder and colder, causing me to shiver, even in my woollen sweater. The hum of my heater had died down.

I quickly dropped my flashlight and dipped down to my heater, banging at the top to revive it. Of course, it didn't spring back to life like Mello's heater, I was betting mine was much older and dingy than his. The sounds of the wind were much more evident as the rattling of my windows blended underneath it. It sounded loud. Mocking. Shivers coursed through my veins as I looked back at the window, seeing that deranged silhouette reappear once more, moving its shoulders up and down. Paired with the wind, it looked like it was laughing. Was this how he laughed?

The silhouette moved closer and closer to the window.

I held my breath and stumbled as I got up, grabbing my flashlight and keys. I unlocked my door and swung it open, shutting it behind me. I panted and leaned against it, my body high on adrenaline.

Thunder cracked and I took off.

I needed closure. I hadn't asked Mello about what happened to Beyond. I didn't know if he was dead, contained, running wild. My pace quickened with every step as I thought about it. Beyond was burnt to a crisp, he must've been dead, right?! Yeah... he was dead! He had to be! I reached the successor's sleeping quarters, shining my flashlight at the door numbers, counting them down until I reached eleven.

Fifteen... fourteen... thirteen...

Thirteen.

There was light under door thirteen.

My breath hitched and I looked around at the other doors. Near, Mello and Matt lived in rooms ten, eleven, and twelve respectively. I could only assume doors fourteen and fifteen were inhabited by Val and Beth since they were also successors. Door thirteen belonged to Beyond. I took a few steps back, tripping over one of the bumps on the carpet. I noticed that under the crevice of the door, a soft glow of light emitted, coating the grey carpet with a tint of amber. I could see a pair of boots. Then hands. Dark, ashen hands with a tint of red. That’s what Mello described Beyond as. My brain circled to one possible solution. Beyond was back.

I gasped loudly, causing the light behind the door to flicker and turn off.

The winds had slowly subdued and were now replaced by the harsher sound of roaring thunder and the occasional cracking of lightning. The door had placed me in a trance, the numbers '1' and '3' displayed on the door slowly contorted into a 'B'. I felt compelled to find out what was inside. With shaky steps, I headed towards it, raising my left fist and bracing myself for the horrors that lay behind. Thunder cracked once more and I flinched. As if on cue, I heard a small 'thunk', followed by a whimper.

I looked down the hallway, where the source of the sound was. I quickly shifted my flashlight at the figure. There, I saw Madeline, hunched over the ground, picking up spilled sweets and dumping them into a small container that resembled a pumpkin. Last I checked, Halloween was two months ago, so there was no way she could've gotten those sweets on a whim. She held a flashlight that resembled mine, except hers included a small kitten keychain that matched the plush toy she liked so much. Shaking myself out of my previous thoughts, I quickly walked towards her, helping her pick up the sweets she dropped on the ground.

"C-Careful..." I stuttered, my thoughts still directed at what I had seen at door thirteen. I scrunched down, extending a hand to help Madeline up. She looked up at me, her expression showing obvious chagrin. She stood up quickly, dusting herself off and dashing towards room ten. I furrowed my eyebrows in bewilderment at her bizarre actions and followed her. I hovered my hand over the doorknob and twisted it. Unlocked.

I twisted the knob and pushed the door open, watching as Madeline settled herself between the familiar pile of plushies on the floor. The room was dark, which was surprising as I had expected Near to be awake at this hour. Instead, he was slumped over his desk, eyes closed shut. His breathing remained peaceful and quiet as he remained unmoving. His desk was covered in books, textbooks, sketchbooks, as well as a book on injuries. I didn't bother questioning the unusual alignment just yet, directing my attention back to Madeline. She puffed her cheeks in embarrassment at the sight of me, staring at my hand that was hovering over the handle of the door.

"Just because I didn't lock the door doesn't mean I want visitors!" She exclaimed stubbornly, dumping the sweets all over the floor and separating them by colour. A habit I had recognised from Near.

"S-sorry, I just assumed... since you dropped your sweets..." I muttered before exhaling softly and looking at her with slight confusion. "What are you doing up at this hour?"

Her lips tightened and she went back to sorting her sweets, avoiding the question in its entirety.

"Near told me not to leave the room... but I got hungry," She muttered, offering a sweet with pink wrapping. I crouched down and accepted her little offering gratefully. I peeled the wrapper and munched on the sweet before retching quietly. Madeline turned her head back to the ground and I spat it back in the wrapping before pocketing the rubbish. Expired.

"You got this from the kitchen?"

"Yeah... it doesn't exactly have the best defences,"

I chuckled at her words. She was far from wrong, I had firsthand witnessed Mello and Matt break into the kitchen with ease. I sighed and leaned against the wall, resting my head back as I watched her revel in her masterpiece of sorted candies. Madeline climbed over the plushies and made her way to the desk, tugging on Near's shirt as he slept peacefully. Near snapped awake, causing even myself to flinch.

"Madeline..." He sighed, turning on the lamp on his desk.

"I brought some sweets!" She cheered, revealing the organised pile on the ground to him. He turned his chair, his gaze turned towards me instead of the sweets that were meticulously placed on the ground.

"I told you not to go to the kitchen," He chided, turning his attention back to Madeline. She ignored his words and gestured to the table. Near looked at his desk, shifting his textbooks off of the desk. He picked out a book and waved it at me. I recognised it instantly, it was the book I had dropped in the dining hall. I inspected the cover with a confused expression. There was a band-aid plastered at the spine, covering the small rip Teo made when he dropped it. Near sighed when I noticed it. 

“Madeline’s idea.”

I couldn't help but smile at her thoughtful act.

Madeline grinned and shifted her body to Near, plopping a bit of candy on his hand. He winced and dropped the candy quickly. I tilted my head slightly as I watched Near swivel his chair back towards the table and turn on the lamp, staring at his hand. I stood up and hovered over him, curious as to what he was looking at. I gasped as I noticed. Near’s hand was red, covered in splinters of various sizes. It was a stark contrast to his usually unblemished skin. He prodded out the splinters with his finger absentmindedly, curiosity outweighing all caution.

"Hey— don't do that!" I exclaimed, grabbing his wrist so he would stop poking at it. He looked at me with an unamused expression, one I had been waiting to see.

"Is there a reason you're in my room uninvited?" He inquired.

"Do you have a med kit?" I asked, ignoring his question. Near exhaled and made a subtle nod toward the closet. Madeline quickly dove inside and dug through it, trashing the rest of the room with his spare white-collared shirts. Eventually, she emerged from the closet, holding a first aid kit. She handed me the box and I took out a pair of tweezers, as well as rubbing alcohol. I carefully plucked the splinters from his hand, earning a wince from him.

"There, all clean," I said, smearing his hand with the rubbing alcohol. Near lifted his hand and moved it slightly as if he was inspecting the quality of my work. Once he was done, he moved it to his hair, twirling it once more.

"Thanks," He uttered halfheartedly. I exhaled and packed the med kit.

"Your hand could've gotten infected, y'know? Have you not gotten splinters before?"

"I never had an experience with splinters before, that was truly exhilarating."

"Exhilarating?!"

"Did I say something wrong?"

"N-no but... getting a splinter is far from 'exhilarating'," I countered. "I mean, they hurt and are difficult to eliminate. Not to mention, they're small and bothersome."

"Madeline's small and bothersome, yet I don't see you complaining about her."

"Hey!" Madeline exclaimed, looking up from her position on the floor with a shocked expression. She pouted at him before messing up his well-organised pile of plush toys in retaliation before flopping on his bed and pulling the blanket over her head in an attempt to shut him out. Near huffed quietly and ignored her little act of defiance, turning back to me. I kept my intent look and he sighed, his hesitation palpable.

"I am not used to getting injured so easily like this. To think these wounds were inflicted by my carelessness is truly... exhilarating," He explained quietly.

"So... you've never gotten hurt properly?" I prodded.

"Not that I'm aware of."

"No bruises? Cuts? Scabs?"

"I was pushed by Mello once," He interjected, looking up at the ceiling in recollection. "However, that was because he, and I quote, 'thought I was Matt'."

Near lifted his fingers displaying quotations, adding emphasis to his words. I cracked a smile at his little gesture, yet I could pinpoint a hint of dejection in his tone. It was no secret that he, L's first successor, was doted on more than any other orphan here. In Roger's eyes, he was an object that ought to remain untouched. It seemed that the only injury he sustained here at the orphanage was the one I had just cleaned up. It didn't sit right with me.

I raised a hand and flicked his forehead. Hard.

Near's stoic expression quickly faltered and he looked at me with a perplexed expression, a light blush had dusted across his cheeks, providing much-needed colour to his face. He reached to touch his forehead, rubbing it to soothe the sting.

"There, now you can officially say you've gotten hurt!" I grinned wildly. It was a small gesture, but I was hoping it could remind him that it was okay to get hurt.

"That was highly unnecessary." He countered, flatly.

"Don't you find it just a little bit thoughtful?" I frowned.

He paused.

"...I suppose I understand the implication behind it." Near admitted, drawing his legs up to his chest and resting his chin on his knees. 

The room was left in temporary silence when thunder crackled once more, pulling my inconsistent thoughts back to Beyond. I opened my mouth to tell Near about him, about what I saw at door thirteen, but I remembered what Matt told me yesterday. Mello didn't enjoy sharing L's stories, it was possible Near knew nothing about him.

"Near?"

He lifted his head and looked into my eyes, gesturing for me to continue.

"What's behind door thirteen?" I asked, in an attempt not to give anything away. I was curious to know what he thought of door thirteen, especially since he didn't know about Beyond. Near lifted his thumb to his lip, pondering my question.

"I'm not sure. Roger only instructed us to ignore it," Near started, directing his attention back at me. "Although I do recall hearing noises behind it occasionally. Perhaps it's a ghost."

A small smirk spread across his lips. 

"Or a monster."

Monster... like the monster in L's speech. Maybe Beyond was who he was referencing. Near stepped off his spot on the chair, crouching down to clean up the mess of expired candies Madeline had left on the ground. He placed them in the pumpkin container one by one in colour order, beginning with the red and working his way down. I quickly dropped down to my knees to help him.

"Are you afraid of monsters?" I asked. Near lifted his head to look at me as I helped him, his wispy bangs covering his eyes.

"Monsters are something I can't fear," Near stated simply. "They do not exist, and there's no point fearing something that doesn't exist."

"If you're not afraid of monsters, what are you afraid of?" I asked, standing up to explore his room. I walked to his shelf— the one that was filled with toys. He had a whole cubicle displaying a mix of wooden monster figures. The figures appeared worn down, with scratches and cracks on the side. I reached out to touch one of them, but I was stopped by his voice.

"I'd prefer them to remain untouched, for now." He stated. "The glue isn't dry yet."

I squinted and noticed the wooden figures were indeed broken, there was glue placed in the crevices. Fixing the figures must've been the source of his splinters. Near pulled my hand, guiding me away from the shelf so I wouldn't touch anything. He sat me on the bed, next to the sleeping Madeline. The bed was warm, yet firm. Unused.

"It's rude to let my guests sit on the floor. Even if you invited yourself in."

"No it's okay, the floor's fine!" I reasoned, yet he stubbornly ignored me. He rolled his chair next to the bed and perched himself on it.

"Your question," Near said, lifting his knees to his chest once again. "I fear humans more than anything. Humans are beings with thoughts, monsters are not. This is where L and I differ. L believes humans are comparative to monsters. I believe humans and monsters are different altogether."

I held my breath, beckoning for him to continue.

"Monsters are simple. They act on survival, not on choice. They're similar to animals, yet they are viewed as 'monsters' because they disrupt our concept of peace." He started. "Humans are more complex than monsters. In society, our actions are often excusable as part of human behaviour. We socialise, create systems, build a norm. We're diverse. Grey."

He took a deep breath.

"Humans are scarier because they tend to do things that have nothing to do with survival. Abuse, burglary, murder... crimes are committed because they choose to."

"But circumstances exist, right? What if they murder in self-defence?"

"That falls under survival. It's different."

"Then what if they were killing bad people? Killing bad people is okay... isn't it?"

Near's expression contorted into one of annoyance. Plain annoyance.

"Kira."

"W-what?"

"Kira," Near huffed. This was the first time I had seen him so aggravated. "Kira kills bad people, but his actions aren't justified. Kira thinks he's good because he's ridding the world of its... 'impurities'. It frustrates me that he believes he gets to decide who lives and who dies. I suppose he's an adequate example of a human I'm afraid of. One that believes he's superior because of his ideals."

I stared at him, appalled at his words as I fiddled with the pages of the book in my hand. Near's lips contorted into a frown as he noticed my wide-eyed expression. He tilted his head.

"Have I gone too far?"

"N-no, I just... never thought that deeply of it," I whispered, clutching the sleeves of my sweater. The thunder had finally calmed down, yet my head was still in turmoil. "I mean, I didn't know what to think about Kira, but when you put it that way..."

"I must apologise, it was out of character of me to be so vexed on something I can't deal with."

Near turned his head away from me, his gaze directed at the pile of clothes that was spewed from his closet. I remembered Mello mentioning something about Roger ordering the other successors not to think about the case. Near must've been itching to get his thoughts out since he obviously couldn't do it with someone as young as Madeline. I shrugged and smiled slightly.

"I'm glad I could help you with your thoughts."

Near's gaze softened and his shoulders relaxed slightly.

"I appreciate your compliance." He uttered quietly, a light flush appearing on his face yet again.

----

My eyes were directed at the glass panes of the wide window in the library, watching the snow fall gently on the windowsill. My thoughts were still clouded last night, but since this morning, I couldn't find any abnormalities within door thirteen. It was as if what had happened was merely a figment of my imagination. Perhaps I had been so paranoid, it resulted in absurd hallucinations. I exhaled softly, watching the other children spill into the library, ignoring the two blockheads bickering in front of me.

"I told you, I'm busy today! I just came here to tell you that!" Matt whined, grabbing tightly onto Mello's shoulders and shaking him back and forth. His goggles seemed more cracked than usual today, there were even a few scratches on the band that wrapped around his head. Mello pried Matt off his arm, which looked like a difficult task since Matt was wearing those thick, ashen gloves of his, and forced him to sit down next to me.

"And I told you, the next time you skip a session, I'm going to give up on her," Mello stated simply, leaving almost no room for discussion. Yet, of course, Matt argued again since it appeared to be his favourite hobby. His left hand quickly grabbed my shoulder, and his right grabbed my chin, forcing me to gaze away from the window and look at Mello.

"You're giving up on her?! How cruel, Mello! Go on, M'lady, tell him how cruel he is!" He exclaimed dramatically, I could only sigh at his atrocious attempts at making Mello feel bad. If anything, it just made me feel awkward that I was somehow dragged into this conversation against my will.

"You're... cruel?" I said, looking at Mello as he clenched his jaw tightly.

"Ignore him, pipsqueak,"

I turned back to the window and did as I was told. 

Matt huffed and let go of me instantly. He walked to Mello and pouted, I almost laughed at how comical the scene was. Mello glared at Matt, running his long fingers through his hair yet again, in exasperation. Matt looked around the library, determined to find a solution, or at least an excuse for him to leave. He set his eyes on Val and Beth conversing with another group of kids. Matt let out an annoyed sigh, but he shrugged and headed over to the two before grabbing Val's arm and pulling her away.

Beth glared at Matt, annoyed that he had just taken her friend away from her. She hurried over to the table and whacked his head, her nose scrunched as she glared at him, hissing at him. It was loud enough for me to hear.

"Wh— what are you doing, freak?!"

"I'm problem-solving," Matt gritted, pulling Val away and looking over and yelling at Mello from across the room. "Hey, Mels! Val wanted my help! You know how it goes, I'm pretty popular with the ladies if I do say so myself!"

Val gave him a look that was mixed with confusion and disgust. She looked back at Beth apologetically before following Matt as he yanked her out of the library in a hurry. Beth stood in the middle of the room, frustrated by the whole ordeal. She looked over to where Mello was standing before softening her look and fluttering her way over here.

Fantastic. I was hoping I could ask Mello about the Beyond situation and what happened to him, but I guess I'd have to wait until after the session.

"Hey, Mels!" Beth chirped.

"Didn't Matt tell you not to call me that?" He inquired, furrowing his blonde brows. Unfortunately, It didn't look as if he was trying to be rude, Mello often looked at people harshly, regardless.

"Hey! Matt's not here, is he? He ditched because he didn't want to waste his precious time helping someone in this library." Beth replied, furrowing her eyebrows at me before sighing and sitting on the chair opposite my direction. She pulled up the chair next to her and patted it, gesturing for Mello to sit down. "I'll replace that twat for today."

"He's not a twat," I defended. I was already pissed that she had the audacity to be so condescending in front of my face. Yet I couldn't refute anything. I couldn't be so sure that she was wrong, maybe Matt did leave because he disliked helping me. I felt offended. I may not have been the brightest here, but at least I wasn't a complete idiot.

Right?

"Alright, Fine. You can replace Matt for the remainder of the time," Mello stated, pulling a chair out for her to sit in. She smirked and sat at the chair opposite me and leaned over the table to pull my notebooks and worksheets in front of her. I tensed my shoulders slightly, fighting the urge to snatch my textbooks back. I was growing nervous by the second, afraid that Beth would scrutinise me and Mello would be influenced by her words.

Or something like that.

The rest of the session was blurred together, I couldn't think straight. Not with Beth there, or the constant reminders of door thirteen looming at the back of my head. Not to mention, Mello seemed distracted about something the whole lesson. His chair was shifted next to mine, I could see his knee was bouncing up and down, fingers tapping rhythmically on the wooden table. Mello sighed as I got a third question wrong in a row. I looked up at him with an embarrassed expression painted on my face, his eye twitched.

"I just taught you this."

"I know! I'm just confused!"

He sighed, giving me an expression that looked exactly like the one he gave Matt before he left. Without another word, he stood up and closed my textbook for me, picking it up and passing it to me.

"Go study the rest and I'll test you tomorrow."

He seemed eager to leave. I opened my mouth to agree, but he had already picked up his things and left the room, leaving me and Beth at the table. She leaned backward on her chair, I half expected her to say something conniving, yet she avoided my gaze and fiddled with her thumbs, almost nervously.

"You're really trying to be a successor, huh?"

"Well... trying," I uttered.

Her gaze hardened at my words, her previous nervousness had dissipated in an instant. Her attitude had completely changed as if she had remembered she was supposed to be condescending towards me.

"Don't take my spot," She snubbed, standing up and leaving with a huff. I watched her walk to a group of students and sit with them. Not wanting to be alone in the library, I picked my things and left. The afternoon was still early, and I had some time to kill before going back to the dining hall or my room. I decided to walk through the hallways yet again.

This time, the hallways were decorated in vibrant colours of red, green, and white. The periwinkle walls were decorated with forest-green tinsel that seemed to wrap around the corridor. Each door had a wreath attached at the front, although the wreaths looked almost identical. I knew Arielle, the head of the nursing department, was trying to keep our spirits up with the miracle of Christmas, or whatnot. Each wreath in front of the door had a cheap red bauble hanging from underneath.

My wandering had come to an end when I found myself following a strange beeping noise. I was led to the top of the stairs that led down to the front entrance of Wammy's. There, Matt sat, hunched over. His hoodie was pulled over his head, and with the position he was sitting in, he looked comically shady. I peered over his shoulder and watched as he mashed buttons on his DS Lite. On his screen was a pixilated version of the city, as well as a bright blue creature he seemed to be controlling.

"Platformers?" I asked, causing him to flinch and pocket his DS. Once he confirmed it was me that was behind him and not Roger, he chuckled and took it back out, continuing to mash buttons on it.

"Sonic Rush. I got it at the store down the hill,"

I paused, sitting next to him and leaning over the device so I could watch him play.

"Was that why you left?" I asked hopefully. I wanted to prove to myself that Beth was wrong.

"Why? You think I left 'cause you're stupid?"

I huffed and folded my arms, taking full offence to his comment. His eyes widened, and he moved to rub the back of his neck in nervousness. He bit his tongue and looked at me sheepishly.

"D-don't take it the wrong way! You're not stupid, I just say things out of my ass sometimes," Matt reassured.

"Fair point..."

He scoffed lightly.

"You didn't have to say it like that!" He joked. Shortly after, his DS sputtered and turned off. Matt banged it on the stairs a few times before grumbling and placing it in the pocket of his hoodie. He turned his attention to me and I scoffed.

"Back to me now that your entertainment is gone?"

"You know how it is, M'lady. Had a good time with Mello?"

I shook my head, staring at my feet.

"I'm afraid he's giving up on me already."

"Already? Gee, maybe you are stupid."

I looked at him with an unamused expression, my gaze hardening for a second time as I clutched my pants. He bit his bottom lip and stared at my hands, awkwardly stuttering yet again.

"S-sorry! I'm sorry..."

I shook my head and rested my chin on my knees, looking down the stairs.

"It's fine. Beth took the time to remind me I was a lost cause already."

"She was there? I wonder how eager she was to replace me."

"Pretty eager."

Matt laughed loudly, holding high disregard for the students passing by the corridor. I smiled, his laughter was infectious.

"She couldn't replace me, huh? I bet you missed me,"

I exhaled, bumping his shoulder with my own. I didn't deny his words, I had grown to learn to deal with Matt's perceptiveness.

"Shut up. It's different with Beth there. She's scary."

"You know, it's natural to be scared of the devil incarnated," Matt said, rubbing his nose.

I choked on my spit when he said that. I lifted my head from my knees and looked at him with shock and disbelief. I didn't know whether to lecture him or laugh.

I chose the latter.

"What? You're scared of her too?" I giggled, holding my stomach as I attempted to contain my fit.

"Not really, there are more demons in this world than Beth. You should be lucky you haven't encountered any of them yet, M'lady." He muttered, his expression twisting from amusement to reconciliation. My laughter subdued as I looked at him, my expression mixed with curiosity and compassion.

"Like Roger?" I asked in a desperate attempt to make him feel better. Matt's expression shifted back into a smile as he exhaled quietly.

"Exactly like Roger," He grinned, looking back at me.

We sat in silence for a little longer.

"So, you've just been here the whole time? There's no way you were playing that for an hour straight." I said, placing my hands on the step I was sitting on for stability. 

Matt smiled slightly and shook his head, shifting his body and standing up, stretching his long arms. He dug through his pockets and picked out a keychain. The keychain contained two keys and an object that was small, egg-shaped. The egg was decorated in pink with purple sequins, I snickered at the fact that he had something that girly. He sat back down, pressing a button at the top corner of the egg, the device springing to life. The screen on the little egg showed a pixelated creature that bounced up and down.

"It's a Tamagotchi. The store owner down the hill told me I could keep it if I fixed it up. Y/n, meet Kirby."

"You named it Kirby?!"

I laughed out loud as he passed me the device. He pressed the buttons and a little pixelated burger appeared, the creature on the screen devoured it instantly.

"It's cute," I stated, watching him fiddle with the virtual pet some more.

"Of course it's cute. It's a blob that moves."

"How on earth did you fix it?" I asked, passing it back to him.

"You sure you wanna know? You might not like it."

I furrowed my eyebrows at his cryptic words. The brunette didn't say anything after that, he just yanked me up with him and gestured for me to follow, leaving no room for discussion. I walked after, in anticipation and he sighed at my speed. Without a second thought, he pulled me down the hall, past the decorated classrooms, and towards the sleeping quarters. Once we reached it, he counted down the doors.

"Fifteen... fourteen... thirteen..."

Thirteen.

Matt stopped in front of door thirteen.

My legs shook as the feeling of fear I had felt last night came rushing back to me. I took a step back, distancing myself from him. Was there something behind that door he planned on showing me? Was he harbouring Beyond himself?! He lifted a keychain, decorated with the Tamagotchi and flicked through the two keys. He inserted the smaller, rustic key into the keyhole and turned the lock, holding my shoulders and pushing me into the room against my will.

"Wh—! Hey! Let go!" I protested, turning around and attempting to push past him in my panic.

"It's okay!" He reassured forcing me inside and closing the door behind us. I had fully expected to see Beyond loitering somewhere in the room, but my anxieties slowly dissipated when I saw the interior of the room. It was prodigious, expected for that of a successor. The room appeared less like a bedroom and more like a workshop. The usual wooden study desk was placed in the middle, scratched and chipped. The bed was hoisted on its side, giving the room much-needed space. There were a range of tools, littered on the shelves that were pushed to the corners of the room. 

"Welcome to my den," He said, folding his arms across his chest proudly.

I looked at Matt up and down, finally realising what I had seen. His red, ashen, gloved fingers looked almost identical to my mental image of Beyond's, and the boots on his feet looked identical to the ones I had seen, it was way too coincidental. I could only dwell on my stupidity.

"You idiot, you made me think Beyond was back last night!" I exclaimed, whacking his shoulder. Matt looked at me with realisation, copying my actions and whacking me back.

"I wasn't aware it was you!" He admitted bashfully, a tinge of red on his ears. "I couldn't see who it was from under the door, so I panicked and shut the lights off!"

"Well, I thought someone was harbouring a mass murderer in here!"

Matt snorted, flashing his canines once again. His shoulders bounced up and down as he attempted to calm his fit of laughter, I had noticed he had little dimples that framed his freckled cheeks almost perfectly. After he calmed down, he tugged on my arm, a gesture for me to follow him around the workshop. I ran my fingers on the dusty walls, hesitating when I stopped at a red stain.

"Blood?" I asked nervously.

"Try 'dried-up strawberry jam,'" he reassured.

I nodded, my heart slowing to a steady pace. Matt sat on a chair by the scratchy desk, using the tools that were plopped on it to open the back of his DS, fiddling with the system. Matt twisted the screwdriver and fidgeted with the control panel. He adjusted the lamp over the DS and I looked at him with amazement as he fixed it. Soon, he reattached the backing and the device sparked back to life, the music beeped in its glory.

"So... you fix things?"

"What can I say? Playing games makes you good with your hands." Matt said, wiggling his gloved fingers playfully. I rolled my eyes as he laughed at his joke and continued to wander around his workshop. I noticed there was a blowtorch that lay untouched on the shelf in the right corner of the room. I hesitated before picking it up, completely bewildered that Matt had something like this.

"D-don't touch that!" He exclaimed, snatching it off my hands and placing it down on the shelf carefully. I flashed him a puzzled look, yet I decided not to think much of it. I wasn't one to pry, and I didn't trust myself with a blowtorch either. I moved back to his table, sitting on the chair and resting my head on the dusty surface.

"I like it."

"You like what? Dust?"

I sighed and shook my head, feigning exasperation.

"I meant the room, dimwit."

"The room's alright, I guess. Not bad for a former mass murderer."

"Former?" I asked. My brain waves seemed to click at that moment. Matt knew about Beyond as well, I might as well ask him. "You mean Beyond is really dead?"

"Kinda," Matt shrugged. "He's being monitored in a maximum security prison as we speak. I hardly doubt he'd escape anytime soon."

"Thank goodness," I exhaled.

"Having nightmares?" He prodded, placing a hand on the table and leaning his face right in front of mine. I blushed at the proximity, swallowing thickly.

"I blame you and this workshop for that."

----

I exited the dining hall and waved goodbye to Matt, watching him walk towards the successor's quarters, a slight bounce to his step. His ears were plugged with earphones that were connected to his MP3 player, he seemed to be using that more often these days. I watched as he stopped in front of door twelve and waved at me before entering. I was about to head for my room when I noticed Val had exited door fifteen.

"Val!" I called out, causing her to stiffen. She looked at me with her icy stare for a few long seconds before heading in my direction. I awkwardly jogged towards her. She fiddled with the braid in her chestnut hair, faux flowers were woven into it creating an ethereal pattern. Her hair was a contrast to her appearance, the elegancy of it contrasting her rebellious style.

"Oh, it's you," She said simply, walking past me. My gaze fell and I followed after her.

"Val? What's up?"

"Nothing. Aren't you with Matt?"

"Er— I was. Did you need me to take a message?"

"Yeah, actually. Tell him to piss off for me."

I stopped in my tracks and she did too, looking back at me with a stoic expression. I was confused, but I tried to not let that show in my expression since it appeared as though she needed someone to talk to.

"Piss off? Did you two get into an argument?"

"With him, everything I say is an argument," Val uttered. The tension had grown tangible in the hallway, it didn't help that the walls were aggressively decorated with various colours of tinsel, and there was a picture of an elf hung right next to the sign that was labelled 'sleeping quarters'. 

"I'm sure whatever he did, he didn't mean it! I mean, you know how Matt is..." I reassured her since I had singlehandedly experienced his impulsiveness just a few hours ago.

"Matt's annoying. He pulled me out of the library just to cover the fact that he was going to leave the house again," Val sighed, looking at the poster that was peeling the paint off of the periwinkle walls.  "I didn't come back because Beth was busy with..."

She looked at me up and down.

"You and Mello."

I felt guilt build up in my chest as I stared at my feet in shame. Val turned back to the poster, a tinge of blush on her upturned nose as she slumped her shoulders slightly. She exhaled loudly and looked back at me with feigned confidence.

"Sorry. I just blew my chance of having another friend, didn't I?"

I quickly looked back at her, stuttering as my heart raced.

"No! Not at all! I wanna be friends with you too!" I exclaimed, appearing much happier than I needed to be. But I didn't care. "I thought I bombed it..."

"I guess that makes two of us, huh?" Val's gaze softened slightly, then a tug appeared on the corners of her freshly glossed lips. She straightened her shoulders and we started walking again. 

"I thought you had many friends. You know, being a successor and all..."

"I don't like the other wackos at this place. They're obsessed with finding your weak spot and crushing it so they can take your place."

"Must be hard..." I breathed.

Val dropped me off at my room and headed back. I stood in front of my door, listening to the sounds of the wind outside. The hallways during nighttime were much calmer now that I had come to realise Beyond was gone, yet something still lingered at the back of my mind.

'A'.

'A' had committed within the very walls of this place, and I had only just remembered what Mello had told me yesterday. As always, his words were cryptic, as usual.

"Try not to crack like 'A'"

What did that even mean?

I forced that thought out of my head and entered my room. I poured the contents of my bag onto the dining table and sat down at the desk. The howling winds had halted, yet the snow seemed to pursue, creating a soft pile that lay on my windowsill. It was dark outside, the only light emitted belonged to the faint glow of the singular street lamp that loomed over Wammy's. At this time of day, Winchester was quiet. I stared at my textbooks, opening to a page. It was filled with Mello's hasty annotations, his usually neat handwriting was replaced with a scrawl today. I tried my best to pick out the words.

Eventually, I grew restless from studying. My eyes drooped as I fought to stay awake. However, my attempts remained futile and I succumbed to my exhaustion.

I woke up in a completely different place. I was in a room, however the layout was different from my room at Wammy's. The bed was close to the door, the shelf was on its side and the desk was the furthest thing away from the room. Whoever had placed this certainly did not have a flair for interior design. I kicked myself off the bed and walked towards the door.

The first thing I realised was how short I was. I jumped, reaching for the doorknob and twisting it. I hung off the doorknob, my toes barely touching the ground as I used my strength to pull it open. Luckily for me, there was a boy behind the door. I looked up at the boy, standing in front of me with wide eyes and a blank stare. His eye bags were evident, his frame was small for that of a teenager as well. He crouched down and placed his shoulders at my small frame.

"Careful..." He whispered, his voice wavering.

With no room for discussion, he tugged on my arm and pulled me out of the house and into the backyard. The grass prickled at my skin instantly. This dream, this goddamn dream was back again.

I looked up at the boy, watching his tear-stained face look back at mine. He placed a note under the overgrown leaves on the windowsill and tugged me away from the safety of the broken house, muttering under his breath yet again. This time, I heard his words. His distorted, bone-chilling words.

"Trust me okay? I can't let Wammy get to you." He whispered, tightening his grip on my arm. I burst into tears and tried my best to resist, tugging him away from the wide lake he was taking me to. He didn't speak, nor did he scold me for resisting. The boy led me towards the shore and placed his hands on my cheeks.

"I'm going to follow you, okay? Just trust me."

The squelching of the mud under my feet, the crickets chirping like a mantra, his broken expression was overwhelming. I felt him lead me to the lake again, push me down, again. I struggled for air yet again. He walked further down the lake, I couldn't touch the ground anymore. I couldn't swim.

I couldn't breathe.

After a few more seconds of being underwater, he dove with me, his arms encapsulating my small frame as we slowly sank to the bottom of the lake. This was it. This was where I'd die. I exhaled, taking in the murky water of the lake. My vision had gone hazy, I almost missed the face of the figure that pulled the both of us out.

I coughed and sputtered as we were dragged back to the shore, my body growing limp. The boy lay beside me, and the man that had pulled us out stared over at him, a desensitising, aggravated expression on his sunken face. He wiped his half-moon glasses and placed them on his wrinkled nose, carefully helping the boy next to me sit up straight.

"What on earth were you thinking, A?!"

Chapter Text

Hello everyone! I’m so sorry that I haven’t been updating, I’ve been really busy with my examinations and I just got seriously sick for the second time in 3 weeks (I was sick when writing my previous chapter).

Apologies to those who are still keeping up with my work, just here to reassure you guys, I have most definitely not given up on it (I still have a lot more in store, and chapter eight is currently in the works).

If you really want to read one of my works, you can click on my profile, I have a Matt x Mello one shot (which might be a two parter if i feel like it, it’s called “Between the rift of you and me” :>

Anyways, i’ll see you all when i get better <33 i would really really appreciate if you all stick around because this fic will not be drying out anytime soon and i love all of you guys for hyping my fic up 🫶🫶.

Ps, I might delete this chapter and repost chapter 8 instead when i get better so just watch out for the chapter title ;D

The next chapter will most likely be updated in 3 weeks or so, I’ll be writing a lot because my exams are almost over!!

Chapter Text

December 13th 2003

Mello was avoiding me.

Late lessons, haphazard explanations, half-hearted excuses, he was slowly putting less effort into my learning. We sat in the library by the faint glow of a small lamp that was set on the desk. Matt slept peacefully on the floor, huddling himself in a piece of scrapped newspaper to simulate a blanket. Even he couldn't stay awake at this hour listening to my meagre attempts at answering the textbook questions.

I clutched my pencil tightly as Mello looked up from his newspaper and stood up abruptly from his seat on the library table, his expression appearing more vexed than usual. I looked at my page, my face flushed with embarrassment as I attempted to pinpoint my mistake. He sighed quietly, massaging the bridge of his nose in exhaustion. My eyes drifted from the soft light that was hovered over the textbook to the dark sky outside, wishing I could be anywhere else. Mello gestured at the questions with a pen, one that was exhausted from the amount of annotations that were made on the page. 

"I'm trying not to lose my patience, y/n." my mentor mumbled.

"I'm sorry, okay? You're not explaining it properly!"

"Or maybe you're not listening and getting it through that thick skull of yours," He jabbed, tapping my head with the pen for extra effect before looking back at the newspaper in front of him. He wasn't even trying to hide his avoidance. "Try it again. You're not going to bed until you finish that question. What is the relationship between acceleration and displacement?"

I stared at the paper, my shoulders tensed as I read the question over and over again. My head was starting to hurt; physics made absolutely no sense to me. I couldn't comprehend why anyone would want to study mathematics in a science. I stared at the words as they began to shift and contort into something else, the words flying over the place as my vision grew bleary as I swallowed thickly, an uncomfortable lump forming in my throat. I lifted a shaky finger and sniffed, trying to keep my emotions in check as I wrote with unsteady hands. A tear fell on my page, smudging the inky annotations. I quickly wiped it with my sleeve, taking in a sharp breath as I wrote the equation, muttering under my breath as I did.

"Acceleration... the second derivative of displacement in respect to... um..."

I glanced at the clock, blinking a few times so I could read the numbers properly. 1:30 in the morning.

"Time?"

Mello looked back at me at my meek answer, his expression tightened at the sight of my tears. With a huff, he nodded, lifting his legs to rest on the table we were using. He rifled through the pockets of his charcoal sweats, and a few bits of chocolate, shaped in the form of conicals, fell on the floor with a loud 'clack'. He ignored the noise and pulled out a blue, satin handkerchief, placing it right in front of my snotty nose.

"I don't have time for this. Blow."

I bit my lip, but I complied and took the handkerchief from him and blew loudly, the sound rupturing the quiet library. He exhaled, folding the snotty tissue and handing me my mess. I took it gratefully, my cheeks were tinged with crimson and stained from my tears. I hastily wiped my face with my sleeve, wrote the answer down, and showed it to him, my eyes glimmering with hope that it was sufficient enough for him to end the session. Mello looked at the answers, placing the textbook down and moving to sit back on his chair, picking up the newspaper.

"It's good. You're done. Drag Matt out on the way, will ya?"

"But... aren't you supposed to go to bed as well?"

"Don't ask questions if you know no one's going to answer them."

I chewed on my bottom lip, anxiety coursing through my veins. It wasn't uncommon for Mello to dismiss me so easily, however he seemed distracted about something. I packed up my things quickly, turning to Matt who was sleeping lopsided on the floor. His goggles were still fixed onto his face, although they had slid down enough to show the indentations on his freckled skin. His mouth was farcically wide open, and there was a bit of drool that slid from the corners of his lips. I reached out to pull the newspaper off of him, reading the obnoxious headlines that were plastered right smack in the middle.

'KIRA KILLS AGAIN— DEATH TOLL, 250'

I grimaced, biting back a gulp as I turned my head towards the newspaper Mello was reading. The headlines were the same, he was fully engrossed in the words with every turn of the page. I delicately lifted the paper off of Matt's sleeping body and stood up, quietly placing it in front of Mello. He lowered the newspaper and his gaze, eyeing the headlines that were plastered on the table. 

"What?"

"Looking at the death tolls every day isn't going to change anything."

"I'm not just looking at the death tolls, I'm looking at all the other crap that they put on here."

"Didn't Roger say not to worry about it?" I asked, my voice laced with urgency.

"I don't care about what that old man said. When have I ever cared?"

"But you can't do anything about it now, remember? I mean... Val said to let L handle it!" I exclaimed, my previous urgency now replaced with optimism as I remembered her confident words from before. "L won't lose, he's solved hundreds of cases before! Who's to say he can't catch Kira?"

"He's dealing with someone who can kill without a face or a name, pipsqueak. Haven't you forgotten?"

"But he's—"

"L isn't a robot, y'know?!" Mello seethed, placing the newspaper down and folding it up. His movements had become more expressive due to my prodding. He shoved the folded bit of newspaper into his messy bag, along with the loose pencils that sat stagnant on the desk. He hoisted his bag over his shoulder, stumbling slightly at the weight of it, before walking towards Matt's sleeping body with heavy footsteps and kicking his tailbone with brute force.

"OWCH!" Matt yelped, jolting awake in an instant. He uncrossed his legs and sat up, planting his hands firmly on the floor. His expression looked dazed as his eyes adjusted to the soft light of the library.

"You're slobbering all over the carpet like a Pit Bull," Mello remarked. "It's gross."

"Meh meh meh," He mimicked, rubbing his mouth with a crumpled sleeve. Matt stood up and removed his goggles, wiping his bleary eyes with his gloves before focusing his gaze on the bit of newspaper that stuck out of Mello's bag. "You're reading that again? You've been doing that all morning!"

"Shut up, Matt. I'm trying to gather some information. Maybe you should do the same instead of making a wet puddle on the floor."

"Not everyone's as cynical as you, Mels. Just leave it up to L. I'm sure him and his old buddy can handle something like this. And besides, you shouldn't worry too much, especially since—" Matt was cut off by Mello clasping a hand over his mouth.

"Shut it."

I gaped at the two as they exchanged glances, their actions enigmatic as usual. I exhaled quietly, folding my arms across my chest and clutching at the fuzzy sleeves of my woollen jumper. I remained still as I stared at the ground, suddenly feeling the weight of my bag pull me backward. My face and neck grew warm as I watched them avoid making eye contact with me. I wasn't a part of their conversation, that was made clear. I shifted my weight from the balls to the heels of my feet, awkwardly trying to think of an excuse to leave.

I forced a yawn, yet I wasn't quick enough to conjure up an excuse.

"Leave," Mello ordered. My energy had dissipated, so I nodded in compliance. I turned around hastily, feeling my way towards the stairs of the library. My eyes adjusted to the darkness with the absence of a light source, I took careful steps so I wouldn't fall down the stairs like an idiot. I opened the front doors of the library, the cool air in the hallways biting at my skin instantly. I was immediately reminded of the cold winter that befell outside the Wammy's walls. 

Mello let go of Matt, watching him stumble and catch himself on the corner of the table. Matt looked at Mello's hardened gaze, it was enough for him to refrain from making one of those snarky comments that he was so used to making. Matt picked up his bag, the one he was using as a pillow, and jumped up to sit on the tabletop.

"Let loose for once, will ya? You know it only comes once a year," Matt reasoned as he shrugged his shoulders, wanting to break obvious the silence. "You're being irrational. L's probably gonna catch that twat, you'll be back to bitching about beating Near over and over again, and maybe you'll actually defeat me in a video game this time."

"Are video games the only thing you can think about?!" Mello fumed, running his long fingers into his neat hair, messing it up. His eyes fluttered, silently fighting his own exhaustion. "Don't try to talk to me if you think I'm being irrational. Just because you and the other shitheads decided to listen to Roger and ignore the case doesn't mean I have to do the same."

"Orrrrrr maybe not everyone cares about succeeding L."

"You really ought to leave the successor programme."

"No thanks, I like the size of my room," Matt said leisurely, raising his feet and placing it at the top rail of the chair in front of him. The chair pivoted slightly, Matt used his foot and shifted the chair so it would balance on one leg. He lifted his foot off, chortling in astonishment when the chair didn't fall. "Look, Mels! It's balancing!"

"You're the biggest idiot known to mankind," Mello muttered, kicking the leg of the chair, causing it to fall onto the floor. He grabbed Matt's shirt and dragged him off the table, watching as Matt stumbled before following after him. Matt grinned, raising an arm and grabbing Mello's shoulder as they walked down the stairs of the library together. Mello grunted, begrudgingly allowing Matt to hold onto him.

"You're turning fourteen tomorrow, any thoughts of what you want?" Matt asked, poking a finger at Mello's forehead. Mello glared at his finger and swatted it like it was an annoying fly looming over him at every second.

"Same as always, for you to leave me alone."

"Every year you ask for it, and every year I ignore you." Matt exhaled, feigning nostalgia. "I thought you'd learn by now I'll never respect that wish."

"Then don't bother asking." Mello snubbed, moving Matt's arm away from his shoulder.

----

I navigated through the labyrinthine-like corridors, turning towards the sleeping quarters. My fingers glided against the cool, smooth surface of the walls. Even though my eyes had slowly adjusted to the persistent darkness, my steps remained heavy with caution in the absence of any light. The silence in the house was punctured by the wailing winds, rattling at the building's infrastructure. I shivered, the hallway heaters deliberately shut as if to punish me for wandering. I rounded a sharp corner, colliding with a figure in the darkness.

"OW!" I exclaimed, stepping back from the figure with shaky steps. The figure's composure remained unwavering, their hands moving towards my face to inspect my features. I froze, feeling the figure's hands trace the contour of my nose before pulling away.

"Oh, y/n." He acknowledged, pulling his hands back to himself. I squinted, in a dire attempt to make out who the figure was. I could only see the silhouette of his curly hair and the pyjamas that loosely fitted around his form. Near stood, unsurprised that I was wandering around the halls.

"I couldn't see you," I breathed, hoping he'd pick up the thread of conversation. Near simply brushed past me, pacing toward the direction I'd just come from. I turned, my legs moving of their own accord as I instinctively followed.

"I didn't see you either," Near stated quietly. "I apologise for touching your face without permission."

"Have you not adjusted to the darkness yet?" I inquired, curiously.

"I can't. My eyes don't work like yours."

"Is your vision blurry? I'm sure if you asked Roger he'd certainly get you a fresh pair of spectacles!" I chirped.

Near exhaled, halting abruptly. I stopped just in time, narrowly avoiding another collision. We found ourselves by an open window, where the faint glow of moonlight spilled in, allowing me to see him more clearly. He stood straight, his clothes ruffled. "I'd prefer not to trouble Roger with the complications of my vision. It's far too inconvenient."

"I'm sure it shouldn't be too inconvenient," I reassured.

Near hesitated, looking outside the wide window, and lifted his hands up to his hair. Instead of twirling it, like usual, he quickly placed his hands down and tugged onto the sleeves of his white collared button-up.

"I have ocular albinism," He admitted simply, his white brows furrowing at his own words. "I can't see faces from far away, and I certainly can't see them at night."

"Oh... I'm sorry to hear that." My gaze faltered at his words. Near walked past me, continuing to walk down the corridor. I followed, the moonlight disappearing as we strode further away from the window. I stared at the back of his head as he manoeuvred himself along the halls. 

"Don't be. I don't particularly care about telling people apart from each other." 

"I guess you got lucky then. Imagine if you touched the face of one of the other random students," I chuckled. "Pretty silly, huh?"

"I knew it was you. I was merely double-checking."

"Wh— how did you know it was me?!" I exclaimed.

Near slowed his pace to make room for me to catch up. He shrugged his shoulders and glanced at my inquisitive expression.

"Instinct."

I slowed to a stop and he followed suit. We stared at each other in the darkness, Near lifted his arms to feel his hair, twirling it against his delicate fingers. Underneath the cover of darkness, his movements were concise and riveting, almost hypnotising. A gust of wind entered the hall, coating the air with a chilly atmosphere. Goosebumps emerged on my body, I hugged myself as I tensed against the cold.

"Where are you going, exactly?" I finally addressed, sinking into my jacket. Near huffed, wrinkling his pale, button nose at my question. He shifted his weight from his left leg to his right, scratching his ankle with his socked foot.

"Towards the newspaper room. Seeing Mello hold onto those newspapers has made me curious about the case myself. After all, I wouldn't want to give him a head start. Just in case L does not win the case."

"Why do you two have such little faith in him?" I asked, my expression contorting to one of perplexity. "I mean... he's the greatest detective in the world! If there's anything impossible, he can do it!"

"I'm not denying his skills. I'm just doing this as a precaution." Near pressed gently. The cold winds passed through the hall again, I was convinced there was an open window somewhere around here. Near shivered and so did I. I watched as he tugged his sleeves down, his oversized shirt covering his palms to seek warmth. 

"You should go back to your room. Please, forget I was here." Near uttered.

With that, he left me with my thoughts in the silent hallway.

----

Winter mornings were much more alluring in comparison to its nights at Wammy's. Heavy clouds enveloped the daytime sky, however today there seemed to be a small drop of sunlight emerging from the clouds. The thickened air remained frigid; even indoors, I noticed a faint mist forming with every short breath. I was immediately hit with lethargy the moment I stepped out of bed. The world seemed to spin, but I managed to keep myself steady briefly. With shaky steps, I slowly navigated my way toward the entrance of my wooden closet, opening the doors. There, I was immediately greeted with a sore sight, the eye bags on my face appeared more prominent than usual.

I hadn't slept. I refused to sleep. Not with the weight of my future here at Wammy's hanging in the balance, or the reoccurring nightmares that threatened to infiltrate my head at every moment. 

A. It always circled back to A.

I ignored my thoughts and dug through the mess in my closet, searching desperately for something that could deflect attention from my eyes. I spotted a beige, checkered sweater along with a white-collared shirt and long black jeans.

More voguish than I would've expected.

'KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK'

I paused, halfway through putting my sweater on. I wasn't expecting visitors at this time of morning. The knock was followed by a buoyant cheer from the person behind the door, his velvety voice instantly recognisable.

"Mornin' M'lady!"

Matt. His voice was cheery as always, despite it being early in the morning. He continued to knock, his movements quick-paced as if I was needed out urgently. I hastily pulled my sweater down and fixed my messy hair. I picked up my bag, shoving every single notebook that sat on my desk, along with some pens that fell loosely at the bottom.

"Coming!"

I stumbled slightly, fumbling yet again with my keys to open the bedroom door. There I saw Matt, grinning as always. He wore a brown and black striped sweater, along with a matching beige scarf. Like always, he didn't have a bag on him— it was obvious that he wasn't planning on studying today. This time, he wore violet-tinted goggles which were still as scratched as the amber ones. His comically large gloves extended to the elbows of his scraggy arms, and his black jeans appeared baggier than usual, possibly a larger size. He grinned yet again, grabbing onto my wrist and pulling me down the hallway.

"Are you okay? I-Is there something wrong?" I stuttered, quickening my pace to match his own.

"What's wrong is you're not excited for breakfast" He replied, looking back at me with crinkled eyes. His scarf covered part of his freckled cheeks and a bit of his lips, hiding his smile. "Today it's croissants. Very bourgeois, don'tcha think?" 

"You... made me rush for breakfast...?"

"Uh, duh? I hafta get there before they run out!!" Matt whined, urging me to lock my bedroom door faster. "I'm gonna leave you in five... four..."

"Alright, alright, geez!" I snickered, pocketing my key and walking after him hastily towards the dining hall.

The dining hall seemed much busier than usual, the other students were coming up one by one for seconds at the croissants. Matt pouted and whined as he made a mad dash for a tray and a pair of tongs, piling up croissant after croissant on his china plate. I snickered, following after him and taking a tray for myself with one croissant and a bit of strawberries on the side.

"Matt! You're only allowed to take one!" Arielle, who was assisting a younger kid with their shoes, was reprimanded. Matt grinned sheepishly but made no effort to share his food. I looked around for a free table, noticing something weird. Today, all the tables were pushed together, forcing the other kids to sit next to each other.

"Any idea why the tables are together?"

"I can think of one," Matt muttered, gesturing towards a poster on the wall. It looked awfully childish, with the words 'FREE CROISSANT IF YOU TALK WITH SOMEONE NEW' Written in bold and all caps. I looked at Matt, both our faces laced with confusion.

"If you're confused, it's a social event Arielle had just recently made up to get everyone's mind off the Kira case. Roger's orders." A soft, vexed voice said. I turned around, watching as the pale figure piled another croissant onto his plate, along with a mountain of powdered strawberries on the side.

Near.

"You're not somebody new y/n, I'm afraid I cannot talk to you." His gaze shifted towards Matt, then to his plate. Near raised an eyebrow as his lips contorted into a small frown. "I suppose I could talk to you for another croissant, considering you won't give me one of the seven that's on your plate."

"Wow, it's like you know me already." Matt snarked. Near's eyes lightened as he tilted his head, moving his plate back to the tray of croissants, this time taking one with buttercream filling.

"In that case, I'll treat myself to a special croissant."

I chuckled at Near's words, following him as he led us toward the corner of the joined table. There, Val sat, handing her strawberry-filled croissant to Madeline. I looked at the scene in surprise, I wasn't aware that Val and Madeline were acquainted with each other. I placed my tray on the table and sat down next to Val. She wore her long, brown, wavy hair in two high pigtails up by pink ribbons. Her shirt was a stark contrast to her hair. White with a black print of the words 'Radiohead' plastered right at the top. I couldn't understand the pattern of the shirt, however it looked picturesque in a way.

Near just wore his pyjamas, as usual.

"Morning, Val!" I chirped.

"Morning, y/n," Val greeted, looking up from Madeline. Near placed his tray next to where Madeline was sitting, lifting his knees to his chest and cutting the buttercream croissant in half, placing the smaller half on Madeline's tray. She looked up at Near and grinned widely, grateful for his offer.

"Er— I'm here too, yanno?" Matt sniped

"Sorry, didn't notice," Val chided.

Matt huffed, dropping his tray next to mine and plopping himself down. At the impact, a little bit of powdered sugar landed on my cheek. I licked it off, tasting the sweet, citrusy flavour on my tongue. I stared at the powdered sugar that was doused on Matt's croissants in slight bewilderment.

"They're lemon-flavoured," Near explained, taking a bite of his sugar-coated strawberry. I stared at my food, cutting the croissant and taking a bite of it. The pastry melted in my mouth instantly, the flavours hitting my tastebuds at once. Like always, Near had found an innovative way to eat and was scooping out the buttercream with a spoon and dipping his strawberries in the filling.

"I didn't know you knew Madeline," I said, watching as Val helped Madeline de-stem her strawberries.

"I don't. She approached me for an additional croissant," Val explained. "Near told me she skipped dinner last night, so I complied."

"That's awfully sweet of you, Val. Did you do it to hex her food?" Matt snickered.

"Unlike you, I'm not a selfish pig." She sneered, her eyes directed at Matt's plate of piled pastries. Instead of touching it, Matt leaned back on his chair and took out his DS, mashing buttons on it mindlessly.

"Pig?! Unfortunately for you, I like pigs!"

"I guess things of the same species have to stick together."

I looked at them at their passive-aggressive banter. They sat on either side of me, which made it much harder to ignore them. I looked over at Near, instantly remembering who was missing. I pondered for a while before stupidly addressing the elephant in the room.

"Has anyone seen Mello or Beth?"

"Mello's studying," Near answered quickly, playing with the strands of his hair. It looked like he was looking for split ends, although with hair that well-kept, I couldn't believe he would have split ends even if he told me. I relished in Near's words, guilt overcoming me at once. Yesterday, or rather, this morning, Mello and I didn't end the session on good terms. My suspicions of him avoiding me had skyrocketed. Val's expression soured a bit like the topic of Beth was a jab in the gut. She only looked away, stuffing her cheeks with the remainder of her pastry to conceal her hurt and reddened expression.

"Beth's been... busy," She muttered, staring straight ahead.

"Hah, you bored your friend into leaving?" Matt asked condescendingly.

"You bored your friend into thinking studying is better than hanging out with you?" Val retorted.

I bit my lip, wanting to stop listening to their bickering.

"S-so! What were you guys talking about before we came?" I asked, trying to ease the awkwardness that had grown in the room. Near looked up at the ceiling in recollection before speaking in his soft, satin voice.

"I guess I was telling Val about a book on fun facts from A to Z," Near stated, shifting in his seat and jabbing his fork into three perfectly stacked strawberries at once. "Fun facts aren't usually something I'd read, but I figured I needed a break from reading the given light novel in classical literature."

"Facts?! Gee, Near, you're really proving yourself to be a spoilsport!" Matt joked, continuing to play on his DS. Shortly after, music blared from the device, and his character fell into a bottomless pit. He glared at the pixels on the screen, banging his DS loudly on the table angrily. "Dammit!! That was my last life!"

"How on earth do you manage to use all 99 lives?!" Val wheezed, her previous annoyance switching up immediately at Matt's failure.

Madeline cut through the noise and looked up from her food at Near's words, her expression lightening up.

"Near said that in a room of twenty-three people, there is a fifty percent chance two people would share the same birthday!" She exclaimed before taking a sip of her drink from a mint-green cup with a picture of a Christmas tree at the front. She placed the cup down, and a little stain was left on her upper lip from the liquid and Near noticed it, rolling his eyes at Madeline's carelessness and digging through the pockets of his white-pyjama pants to slide a handkerchief towards her. She accepted it before grabbing her tray and running off to her younger friends who sat at the other side of the dining hall.

"So, is it true? You think anyone in this room could share a birthday with someone else?" I asked, curiously

"Near and I didn't exactly have a chance to try it. He saw Matt and immediately got up to get another croissant." Val stated dryly, folding her arms and leaning backward on her chair. Her leg was raised, her foot placed at the edge of the table, kicking herself back and forth as her chair rocked on its hind legs. Near, who was perched opposite her, yanked his plate away from her feet and scrunched his nose at her blue boots.

"I'd appreciate it if you'd refrain from placing your feet where the food is, Valentina."

"Full alias? Wow, you might wanna listen to him, Valentina." Matt snorted, poking a fork at Val's shoulder. Val yanked the fork out of his hands and threw it at his plate, seemingly not in the mood for his antics.

"So far, Near, Madeline, and I don't share the same birthday," Val stated, looking at me. "Different months as well. I'm March, Madeline's October, and Near's August."

"Betcha don't remember mine," Matt puffed.

"February first. You're pretty persistent when it's your birthday," Near answered truthfully.

Matt scrunched his nose and pondered for a while, his expression shifting from pensive to realisation. He sat up, placing a hand on my shoulder and whispering in my ear quietly, this was the quietest I had ever heard him.

"You think if I ask around, I can get a few more croissants?"

"There's a fine line between hungry and glutton." I jested. He ignored my words, standing up from his seat and scanning around the room. He spotted a student, sitting in an isolated corner of the room, cutting his croissants gently. The student was well dressed, although his black hair remained messy. His cat-eye glasses were cracked, just like Matt's goggles, and he wore a black puffy jacket over his midnight-blue turtleneck. Matt carelessly leaned over the table, his loose sweater touching the cream on his plate, and yelled out for the lonely person.

"Yo! Ollie! Ollie Ollie Ollie!" He called out to the boy. Ollie looked around before sheepishly pointing to himself, wanting to know if Matt was really calling him or if he was hearing things.

"Y-yeah?" Ollie stuttered, slightly perturbed that someone as important as Matt would call out to him.

"When's your birthday?!"

"U-um, July eleventh? Why?"

"Jus' testing if anyone shares a birthday!" Matt called out before flopping back down on his chair. "Well, I guess your little experiment's a flunk, Near. Maybe you should pick up a real book next time. You know, like the one we were s'posed to read in class in the first place?"

"Last I checked, that 'book' laid untouched and is sealed in plastic under your bed." Near retaliated.

"Who needs a fresh copy when you can borrow Mello's?"

"Wouldn't Mello need to read the book as well?" I asked.

"Mello's a fast reader. He's probably done with the book already." Val chimed in. I laughed quietly, thinking about that moment I shared with Mello at the cathedral when he was reading The Reptile Room, written by Lemony Snicket. I quieted down, my brain circling back to the book.

The book.

I hadn't returned the book.

I hastily ducked down to dig through my bag, searching for the book. My left leg bounced up and down with anxiety, ignoring the buzz that had suddenly overcome the dining hall. I had forgotten about that novel since Mello was so kind as to spoil it before I could complete it. Would Mello be mad at me? That book was unique to Wammy's! I shoved myself deeper under the table, drowning out the wild chatter that suddenly overcame the dining hall. I counted book by book, feeling my way down the contents of my bag.

Rough; Notebook. Rough; Notebook. Grainy; Old textbook.

As soon as I felt the smooth spine of the novel, my heart calmed down.

"WHAT?!" Matt suddenly cried. I knocked my head on the table as I stumbled to get up. I winced and looked up from underneath the table, watching as Matt leaned over his tray, hands planted firmly onto his DS, although they remained unmoving. He stared at the entrance of the dining hall, where Teo stood, holding a tray of croissants.

"That's what I said, dimwit. February first." He sneered.

"Are you shitting me??!"

Val looked at me, one hand over her mouth and the other over her stomach to prevent herself from laughing. I didn't bother restraining myself, laughing out loud at once. Matt's face flushed bright red, clearly annoyed that he was proven wrong, and with sharing a birthday with Teo no less. He shoved my shoulder with his, pinching my ear so I'd stop laughing at him.

"Alright, alright I'll stop!" I cackled, turning back to my untouched croissant. I leaned my head against the table, poking at my food. I didn't have time to process it, but the doors of the dining hall had opened sharply, and a blonde figure walked in. His footsteps remained heavy against the floor, slightly tense and stiff. I glanced up to see Mello swiftly approach the counter and take a croissant doused in liquid chocolate. He glanced at the group of tables, his eyes singling onto mine for just a second before heading towards the back exit, the furthest away from us.

"So then, what about Mello's birthday? Any idea when that is?" Val asked, watching him slam the doors of the dining hall shut.

Val looked at Matt quickly, expecting him to answer. Matt raised his arms in mock surrender.

"Nope. No clue."

"How do you not know Mello's birthday?!" She exclaimed.

"Come on, the guy hates his birthday!" Matt answered, taking in a mouthful of pastry, and then speaking with said mouthful. "Even he keeps things from me, yanno?"

I frowned, eyeing Matt's behaviour. I wasn't convinced, but I didn't want to initiate more bickering.

"So he just doesn't celebrate it?" I asked quietly.

"Mello doesn't share his birthday with just anyone," Near said simply, finishing the final bit of his pastry. Near stood up, stretching his limbs before taking a croissant straight from Matt's plate without permission. Matt gaped at his audacity, but Near just hummed and took a bite from the pastry. He gestured to Teo with his head, his eyes displaying a faint glint of amusement.

"I'd say you lost twice today."

----

Near left the dining hall first, not saying any goodbyes. Val exited shortly after, leaving Matt and I at the dining hall. Matt dumped his empty tray onto the trolley and followed me out of the dining hall. I watched as Matt walked back towards his room, ignoring all the other students heading towards the library to study. I turned to go towards my room, but my head spun instantly. Being alone was the last thing I wanted to happen, memories of A continued to flood through my head as I stared down the hallway, watching it gradually stretch out further and further. My chest tightened slightly.

"M'lady?" Matt called out, touching my shoulder. I flinched, snapping out of my thoughts. I shook my head, smiling at him reassuringly.

"Sorry, just zoning out..." I muttered. I watched as he adjusted his goggles and shrugged, turning to walk back to his room. I instinctively followed. "W-wait! Could I just tag along with you?"

"You don't need permission to hang out with me, dimwit."

"Right, yeah." I exhaled in relief. "So, where to? my room?"

"Don't act so oblivious, Roger doesn't allow two people to be in the same room alone," Matt snorted.

"Since when were you a stickler for the rules?"

"Since I wanted to go somewhere... y'know... restricted," Matt whispered, jingling the keys in his pockets, referencing door thirteen. He stopped dead in his tracks and turned to look at me. He inched his face closer to mine, his voice taking a teasing tone. "Why, do you want to be in the same room alone with me?"

"I don't see the problem," I said simply, tilting my head to the left as I watched him start to walk again. I followed after, looking at the ceiling as I continued to ponder about his words. "I mean, we've been in the library, your workshop, why is my room any different?"

Matt let out a soft huff, continuing to steer me in the direction of his workshop. The morning cast a soft glow through the wide windows of the house, painting the periwinkle walls with amber light. It created a soft orange that engulfed the room and the Christmas ornaments that hung around. Matt let go of my hand, yet he continued to walk towards the workshop.

"Your room's dodgy. No offence, M'lady, but I don't trust the infrastructure from room '15' onwards." He stated.

"Dodgy...?" I blinked in slight displeasure before calming down again. Matt was, and I quote directly from him, probably talking out of his ass yet again. But he was right, the howling winds of the winter nights here were constantly interrupting my sleep, not to mention the heater was damaged, and freezing nights were a normalcy.

"Well, the heater doesn't work and the winds are a bit eerie," I continued, reluctantly agreeing with him. "Also, the screws on my window are a bit..."

"...Unfastened? Rusty? Unbolted?"

"You know a lot of words."

"I'm willing to bet your room is haunted." He said, his voice dropping an octave. I rolled my eyes, exhaling quietly at his attempt to spook me. "By a ghost maybe?"

"G-ghosts don't exist!" I answered adamantly. Sure, I've had encounters with the paranormal, but most of the time it was just the noisy wind or mistaking Near and his white-coloured pyjamas as the silhouette of a ghost. "And besides, what makes you think you can see them?"

"Who knows, M'lady. These goggles aren't purely for show," He joked, poking at the lenses of his decorative goggles before continuing. "I wonder what ghost would make your room its home. Maybe... the ghost of B?"

Again with B.

"Nice try, you already told me he was locked up in a maximum security prison," I huffed. "He can't be a ghost if he's not dead."

"Hm, you're right. What about A? Betcha he's haunting you."

I stopped in my tracks, that name hitting me like a tow truck. I looked at Matt as he shifted uncomfortably at his own words and my sudden reaction. He looked at his sneakers, slightly covered in mud from the wet dirt outside, avoiding all eye contact as he attempted to come up with a different topic to discuss. Instead of speaking, Matt gaped at me through his tinted goggles before moving his gloved fingers towards my neck. He shifted my hair to the side gently, fixing the collar of my white shirt underneath my sweater for me. A pale flush appeared on my cheeks, I was glad he didn't notice.

"New clothes?" He asked, trying to divert the subject away from A.

"Not new... I just... uh... haven't worn it before." I said, grateful that my idea of concealing my eye bags with my clothes had worked.

"Oh. Well, it looks... nice," He said, turning away quickly. He looked back at me, shoving his hands in his pockets, and used his head to gesture towards door thirteen, silently asking me if I was going to follow him. I strode after him, entering the workshop and watching him close the doors carefully behind me. The room was completely wrecked. His tools and gadgets were all over the floor, drawers wide open, and a large piece of parchment paper on top of the desk in the middle of the room. Matt appeared indifferent towards the state of the room, I was assuming he was the cause of the mess. 

"So... you planning on cleaning up the mess or what?" I asked, staring at the mess presented in front of me.

"No way! The mess is my thinking process!" He exclaimed dramatically, kicking a small screwdriver away from the door and unravelling up the piece of parchment. "You don't just interrupt a master of creation's thinking process."

"Okay, 'master of creation'" I retorted, using quotation marks with my fingers. "Is there a reason for this mess?"

Matt shrugged, running his gloved hands through his knotted hair as he continued to kick tool after tool under the table in the middle of the room.

"Nothing much. Fixing my DS, random junk from down the street, planning for Mello's birthday."

"Mello's what?!"

"Birthday. B-i-r—"

"I know how to spell birthday, I just thought you said you didn't know when it is!"

"Oh. I lied," He snickered, leaning backward on the table and exhaling quietly. "Mello doesn't like it when people know when his birthday is. Says he hates celebrating. Which seems so..."

"Mellow?"

"Exactly," Matt said, leaning over the table and unravelling the piece of parchment that sat lonely on top of it. The parchment coiled slightly but revealed a title at the top middle he had scrawled in permanent marker with his chicken-scratching. I squinted, a foul attempt at reading his god-awful handwriting.

'Mello's Birthday'

"You'd think I'd have something planned out, but I'm running out of annoying gifts to make for him. Last year it was an alarm clock that wouldn't turn off even if he smashed it. Bloody idiot didn't talk to me for a whole week."

"Maybe that's your cue not to give him a terrible present." I sighed, taking the piece of parchment and holding it in my hands. "So... any ideas?"

"I was hoping you'd know."

I heard a thunk from outside the workshop. I flinched slightly, turning back to see a pair of feet under the crack of the door. The feet were coloured white, almost identical to those of Near's socks. I inched closer to the door, but Matt quickly grabbed my hand to stop me from moving any further. I turned to look at him, his eyebrows were furrowed as he quickly flicked the lights off.

"Don't" He instructed.

"But it's—"

"No one else knows I have access to this place."

Voices. Matt and I carefully walked closer to the door, the both of us pressing our ears against it to hear the commotion outside. I stifled a gasp when I heard Mello's voice, along with Near's. As always, Near's voice remained calm, and collected as usual. There was a rustling noise, one that sounded just like a newspaper. Matt dipped down to his knees, digging through his pocket and picking out one of those endoscope cameras I had only seen in magazines. He plugged it into his DS and slid the tip under the door, the picture of the outside playing on the DS immediately.

"I don't know whether that's cool or just plain creepy," I whispered, watching the live feed. "How'd you get your DS to do that anyways?"

"It's a feature I added. It's not like Roger would let anyone get a more convenient device around here."

Mello was clutching the newspaper, his knuckles turning white with how tightly he was gripping it. He stared at Near, his cupid's bow tightened into a purse. I couldn't see Near's expression, he was facing away from the camera. However he was hunched over as usual, body turned towards the newspaper. The image at the front was different, nothing like the newspaper Mello was holding this morning.

"You are aware of how selfish you're being for not letting me have a look at the paper, right, Mello?" Near asked tersely, folding his arms across his chest.

"You'd have to kiss my feet before I give you this information, asswipe." Mello seethed, stuffing the newspaper in his shirt so Near couldn't get to it. "It's a shame you can't ask dear Roger for help, considering he got rid of the rest."

Near looked away, seemingly unbothered by Mello's spiteful words. He just exhaled quietly, his shoulders slumped, and made his way towards his room. He stopped at the door, and I could finally see his expression. His black eyes looked at Mello's prideful demeanour, straightening up and opening his door quietly.

"That's unfortunate, I was hoping you'd level the playing ground. But I suppose if you believe having an unfair advantage means you'd be on par with me, then I'll leave you be."

Near shot a quick glance right at the camera, causing a shiver to go down my spine. Matt tensed, pulling the camera back from underneath the crack on the door. Once we heard a click, he placed the camera back underneath. The feed was slightly blurry, but it focused on Mello, entering his room and slamming the door behind him.

"Damn..." Matt breathed, looking at me through his violet goggles. I heard more noises and looked back at the feed. This time it showed a pair of glamorous blue boots, one that I recognised as Val's. Val walked past the camera, paused, and walked back. She crouched down and reached for it, yanking it without any hesitation. Matt's DS went flying and banged into the door, creating a loud 'thunk'.

"Dammit!" He cursed, quickly standing up and opening the door. I stood up and looked at Val, crouched down and holding the endoscope camera and its wire with blatant confusion. She stood up after that, staring at the camera in her hand before glaring at Matt inquisitively.

"You pervert! What kind of weirdo owns a spy camera?!"

"It's not a spy camera! It's an endoscope camera! I use it to see under the drawers!"

"A likely story." She hissed, flicking his forehead with a manicured finger. "I bet you peek under student rooms with this!"

"Do not! I do not peek under student dorms!"

Val looked at him with shock, her expression contorted to one of disgust.

"You peek under teacher rooms then?! I might just be sick..." She feigned, retching jokingly. I snickered, causing Matt's freckled face to turn a bright crimson colour. He snatched his camera back, looking at Val with frustration.

"I'm not peeking under the rooms!! And stop laughing at me!" He shot back at me. I stifled back another laugh, covering my mouth quickly. Matt sighed, clutching the handle of the door tightly as he sneered at Val. "If you'll excuse us, we're busy doing something. Why don't you run along and blindly look for Beth like you always do?"

Val clenched her fists, her expression faltering slightly. But she wasn't looking at Matt or me. She was looking at the door number.

"You?! You were the one in this room the whole time??!" She exclaimed, a vein almost popping out of her clean forehead. "You know, your noise caused me more sleepless nights than any of the homework I've been given here!"

"It's not my fault the walls are thinner in your room. Too bad you aren't in mine, soundproof walls are seriously riveting!" He bragged.

"M-maybe we should hold off on the fighting..." I stuttered before getting an idea. "You know... Val can help us!"

"Help you with what?" Val asked. Matt looked at me with an expression that meant 'shut up'. But I was so excited about asking her, that I didn't notice it.

"With Mello's birthday!"

Matt groaned, whacking his forehead with his palm. I tensed and covered my mouth in realisation as I looked at him sheepishly.

"S-sorry. I forgot."

"S'okay. You didn't mean it." He shrugged before smirking. "Plus, I wouldn't mind looking at Mello's face when he realises that he can't keep his birthday a secret forever."

I nodded in embarrassment and opened the door wider to invite Val in. Matt looked at me in disbelief, but Val smiled gently at me and waltzed in. She immediately tripped over a hammer on the floor. She stumbled slightly before steadying herself, looking at Matt as he looked away and whistled nonchalantly.

"My room, my rules." He sung.

I went back to the table in the middle, unravelling the parchment and staring at Matt's scrawls. Maybe planning something could be beneficial. Maybe it would help cheer Mello up from what happened with Near earlier. Or take his mind off the case. Or at least make him forget that he was ignoring me in the first place. Matt picked out a chewed pencil from his pocket and tapped on the parchment.

"Any ideas?"

"We could bake him a cake or something." Val offered.

"No dice. The cooks use the kitchen the whole day today." Matt explained.

"Who said we had to make it now? It's not Mello's birthday today, is it?" I asked. Matt bit his lip and looked away nervously, staring at the strawberry jam stained walls. It was the same expression he had given me when I asked about B a few weeks ago. Val and I looked at each other, then back at him. Our expression humourless.

"It's today, isn't it?" Val sighed.

"Correct again! You're really on a roll today, Val." Matt snickered.

"Come on, Matt. You couldn't even be punctual for Mello? He's your best friend!" I reasoned.

"Aren't the best ideas the ones that come from the heart?" Matt asked, tapping his chewed pencil on his chin before writing down the words 'give Mels a big hug'. Val read the words, folding her arms in exasperation at Matt's unpunctuality.

"So far your ideas are coming out of your ass." 

----

The three of us sighed, Matt threw another piece of rolled up parchment behind him, making a small pile of scraps on the floor on top of the mess that was already made. Val leaned against the table, slumped on the floor in a hunched position. I flopped over the desk as I watched him write the words 'Mello sucks' over and over again on his last piece of parchment.

"Do we really have no ideas for Mello's birthday?" I asked, lifting my head off the desk and prying the pencil away from Matt before he used up the last sheet of paper we had.

"Wammy's sucks. There's barely any options." Val added.

"Normally I can think of something annoying, but this year Mello seems like he won't tolerate something like that." Mello sighed, a hint of dejection in his tone. He had only showed it for a second, before smiling and going back to his cheerful self. "Maybe I'll get him the newspaper, he seems to be way into that nowadays."

"No way! We're supposed to be distracting him from the case!" I exclaimed.

"Yeah, did writing for an hour straight make all the logic fly out of your brain?" Val yawned, standing up from her position on the floor and stretching her arms. She cracked her knuckles and sighed contentedly when the tension was finally gone from her body. "I need to lie down before my body gets stuck like Near's."

I chuckled at her words, falling silent when Matt realised something. He looked at Val and I, eager to share the idea that came to mind.

"Why don't we plan a sleepover? I remember reading a section on a magazine that a sleepover was a good way to spend a birthday." He piped brightly. "That way I don't have to spend my precious time getting something for him, and we'll be there to make sure his mind is completely off the case."

Val and I exchanged glances before turning to him, our expressions a combination of suspicion and perplexity. Val spoke first.

"Since when do you read?" She sneered.

"Since I got the latest edition of EGM down at the bookstore, I've been browsing others." Matt retorted, quickly digging through his drawers and pulling out a colourful magazine. At the same time, a large bag fell from the drawer and onto the floor, its contents spewing onto the floor. I inched closer and picked up the bag for him, noticing contained a random assortment of crayons and two wooden boxes, both with the letter 'M' painted at the front. I immediately recognised it.

"You still have your time capsules from when you first got here?"

Val inched towards the boxes, immediately retching when she got closer to it. She took a step back and plugged her nose with her delicate fingers, her eyebrows furrowing at the smell.

"What did you put in there, a carcass?!"

I took a whiff at the box and made the same expression as Val, gently placing it back down on the floor.

"Maybe some things should be left hidden..."

Unlike the both of us, Matt's eyes lightened and he dropped his magazine and picked up the boxes. He brushed the top, the dust making a pile on the floor similar to the parchment pile in front of the door. The dust revealed writing underneath. One was labelled 'Matt' and the other 'Mello'.

"Um... why do you have Mello's?" Val asked, taking a step back when Matt waved the capsule in front of her face.

"He didn't want to take it. Just dumped a bunch of things in there and called it a day." He answered.

"Maybe we should make him open it." I suggested. "I think I still have mine somewhere in my room, I haven't opened it either."

"I'll have to check for mine, but it's probably going to be filled with random toys I thought would be useful in the future." Val sighed. "It's certainly not going to smell like that! I mean, which box is that smell even coming from?!"

"Wanna guess? Take a whiff!" Matt offered.

"No thanks. Fifty pounds it's from your box." She uttered.

"I'll take fifty if it's from Mello's!" Matt simpered.

"Do me a favour and zip it."

"M-maybe we should go back to the topic at hand. Where should we have the party?" I inquired.

Matt raised his hand, as if asking for permission to speak. I exhaled at his antics.

"Matt?"

"My room, of course. I have games, and it's much better than Val and her crummy lack of soundproof walls." He bragged to Val, bringing up the quality of her room yet again. I was grateful Matt had offered so quickly, I didn't exactly want to stay in my room for the night. I nodded, trying to interject Matt and Val's mindless bickering yet again.

"Your room's great. We'll meet after curfew with our capsules." I quickly said. Matt turned his attention to Val and smirked cheekily, placing his hand on his forehead in a salute.

"Aye aye, M'lady."

----

Evening emerged, painting the skies in its regular stormy grey glaze. I flopped onto the messy heap of clothing I had created on the floor from emptying my closet. I stared at the ceiling, I only had a few minutes left before our surprise for Mello could commence, and I still hadn't found my time capsule. I had no choice but to find it. Those capsules weren’t just objects, they held pieces of the successors’ lives, fragments they chose to share. If I didn’t offer something of my own in return, it would feel selfish.

Hypocritical.

I let out a frustrated groan and flopped onto the heap of discarded clothes, racking my brain for a way out of this mess. Without anyone’s help. My complaints were cut short by a sudden, sharp jab in my back. Startled, I snapped my eyes open and twisted around, scanning the tangled piles for the object. I narrowly spotted it, a sliver of wood poking out from beneath the layers of fabric.

I hastily picked it up, immediately poking myself with the splinters from the wooden box. I winced, dropping the capsule back onto the table. The wooden box was lighter than I expected, a burgundy colour, my name written in cursive at the lid. It was glued shut, I attempted to pry it open but it refused.

"Dammit!" I cursed, feeling the box fly out of my hands at my second attempt to pry it open. Frustrated, I stopped trying it altogether. I pulled my pyjama sleeves over my hands and awkwardly lifted the box, tucking it under my arm to prevent my hand from getting any more splinters. I looked at my bag, sitting spineless on the floor.

One more thing.

I rummaged through my bag until my fingers brushed against the smooth spine of the book Mello had given me ages ago, tucking it under my other arm. I huffed and carefully snuck out of my room, wandering through the halls all the way to Matt's. I turned and lifted my sleeve from my palm, knocking on the door meekly.

"Password?!" Matt called out from behind the door. 

"What?! You didn't tell me one!" I hissed. I heard Matt chuckle slyly from behind the door, unlocking it and opening it wide for me. I gawked at him, my head shifting up and down to look at him before snickering loudly. He was dressed in long pyjama pants that made him appear taller than he was, and to top it all off, he was wearing a black, long sleeved shirt underneath his graphic tee— an image of a giant blue creature plastered at the front. I recognised the creature from a game I had seen him play on his DS.

"Sonic?" I guessed.

Matt's expression shifted from dazed to embarrassed and defensive. He broke into an awkward laugh, looking at his own shirt. His ears turned pink as his freckled cheeks appeared brighter than usual. He ran a gloved hand over his brunette locks, clutching on a section clumsily as he attempted to justify his fashion choices.

"He's cool, okay?"

"I bet..." I joked, entering his messy room. My foot immediately bumped into a beige sweater that laid stagnant on the floor. Matt lifted it with his foot and kicked it away towards the closet. The closet sat wide open, a bunch of clothes remained in a pile instead of folded neatly. I refrained from commenting on it, since my room was practically identical after I turned it upside down looking for my capsule.

“Try not to trip,” he said. I glanced down and froze. The floor was a disorganised web of wires and extension cords, snaking in every direction, each one plugged into a humming device. Every outlet glowed with power, like the whole room was on the verge of short-circuiting. Matt hopped around his room before collapsing onto a bright, orange beanbag.

"Are you sure your room isn't going to catch on fire?" I asked, following his earlier movements and sitting cross-legged on the floor next to him.

"Relax, it's been fine for years." Matt reassured, reaching to unpause his game with his game controller and staring wide-eyed at the TV.

"Years?!" I yelped in disbelief.

I heard a knock, instantly shooting up to get it.

I twisted the knob, opening the it and looking at the figure behind. Val stood in that same band t-shirt she wore before, along with grey checkered sweats and bunny slippers. She had mittens on, holding a pink painted wooden box. The lid of the box spelled her name in bejewelled rhinestones. I opened the door wider for her, and she immediately tripped on a cable on the way in.

"Oink oink..." Val muttered, her voice laced with sarcasm. 

"Usually, it's the host that opens the door, M'lady." Matt told me. looking up from his game.

"Well, if the host is busy playing video games than to entertain his guests, he's not a good host, is he?" Val huffed, unplugging his game. Matt groaned and looked up at her, like he was about to throw a temper tantrum.

"I was almost at the finish line!!"

I carefully navigated towards Matt, pulling his arm to lift him up from his slumped position the beanbag.

"Shouldn't you get Mello? You know, the one we're doing this for?" I sighed. Matt stood up straight and grinned brazenly at me, pushing past and grabbing his DS along with the endoscope camera.

"This might take a while..." He admitted, opening the door and looking over his shoulder. "Make yourselves comfortable, kay?"

Matt shut the door behind him, exhaling quietly before looking over at the door eleven. He dipped down to his knees and plugged his endoscope camera onto his DS and slid it under the door, staring at Mello. Mello noticed almost immediately, stopping in his tracks and stepping on the camera with his socked foot.

"Hey!" Matt cried, pulling his camera back from under the door. Mello's door swung open shortly after Matt's blunder, causing him to be whacked by the edge of the door. He stumbled back and grabbed his red nose, dropping his DS right onto the floor. He glared at Mello accusingly. "Oi! You didn't have to whack me!"

"I wouldn't have whacked you if you didn't decide to be creepy, you idiot."

"Funny, thats the third time I've heard that today," Matt shrugged, sauntering into Mello's room uninvited. He glanced around, the room appeared messier than usual. The table was filled with cut up sheets of newspaper about the Kira case, along with opened textbooks and A's time capsule. Mello shut the door behind Matt, too exhausted to tell him to get out.

"Three things at a time? That's a record even for you, Mels." Matt muttered.

"Why are you here?" Mello inquired, raising a tired eyebrow. "I have better things to do than entertain you, ya know?"

"What? I can't wish my best friend a happy birthday?"

"Whatever. You're too sappy." Mello bit, yet his gaze softened. He folded his arms and stared at the ground, his hair shifting to cover his face, hiding his tired expression. "Here to give me another shitty gift? Do me a favour and make it the alarm clock."

"If by 'shitty gift' you mean taking your mind off of... all this, then yeah." Matt huffed, gesturing to the table. He grabbed Mello's arm tugging it to and urge him towards the door. 

"Just leave me alone. I need to concentrate."

"On what? Studying, Kira or..." Matt trailed off, tapping on A's time capsule. "Tell you what, I'll get you her capsule if you just follow me."

Mello's ears perked, looking at Matt's smug expression. He scoffed at his cocky demeanour, not trusting him one but.

"No deal."

"Gee, bore. It's not even exam month and you're studying. Don'cha think you need a break?"

"What I need is to focus."

"Yeah, what you need is to relax. What, you don't think you can beat me?" Matt taunted. "You know what? You're right. You're just afraid of losing yet another game to yours truly. If I were you, I'd save myself the trouble as well."

Mello's eye twitched, not because of the exhaustion, but the newfound surge of energy from Matt's words. Pissed, yet eager to prove him wrong was what exactly what he felt.

"You've gotten your head up your ass for too long," Mello spat, shoving Matt out of the room.

"So no game?" Matt asked, his voice faltering. Mello let out a long sigh before stepping out of the door in compliance.

"I'll humour you. Just this once."

Matt's sour expression turned into a smirk when his words got to him. He held out a hand and stopped Mello from leaving the door.

"Ah bup bup bup, no shirt no game." He snickered, pointing at his embarrassing sonic graphic tee as he looked at Mello with a merciless gaze. Mello's face tinged with red.

"No way! Theres no way you can get me to—"

I heard the door open in Matt's room, watching as Matt sauntered in gleefully. He must've convinced Mello to hang out with us. Val and I waited awkwardly at the edge of the room to surprise Mello when he walked in. I saw the blonde tuft of hair behind Matt and Val and I instantly cheered.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY ME—"

Mello stopped, gaping at the both of us. We were cut off by the sight of what he was wearing. Socks, sweats, and the red matching half of Matt's graphic tee. Mello's cheeks turned a brilliant shade of red, I hadn't seen that colour on anyone before. He quickly turned to walk out of the door, but Matt stubbornly grabbed the back of his shirt like he was an embarrassed stray who refused to meet new people.

"Stay!" Matt commanded, as if he was a feral animal.

"Bitch." Mello murmured.

"Didn't know you were into Shadow." Val snickered, staring directly at Mello's shirt.

Mello ignored her little comment and walked back into the room, plopping himself down on the bright orange beanbag, ignoring the presence of Val and I. I leaned over and looked at him nervously, hoping he'd forget about the whole 'ignoring me' ordeal.

"Happy birthday!" I repeated, as cheerfully as I could. Mello leaned back on the cushion to meet my gaze, his aquamarine eyes locked onto my face.

"I suppose this was also your idea." He replied dryly.

"How else were we supposed to get you to relax?"

"The reason why I'm so tense is because of you." Mello huffed. "But I appreciate your efforts."

I smiled, sitting next to him on the floor and leaning against the same beanbag he was on. Val settles herself on Matt's bed and Matt sat on top of desk chair. He threw all of us a controller and quickly replugged his game onto one of the overwhelmed outlets in the room.

"I call player one!" He exclaimed, loading his controller up. I stared at mine, confused as to which was what. There were letters on the buttons and different colours I couldn't comprehend. Mello looked over at my disoriented expression, pointing to a button on the controller.

"Click that."

"T-thanks..." I muttered stupidly.

Val laid on her stomach, staring at the small loading screen with eager eyes.

"I call daisy!" She chirped.

"You don't even know what we're playing!" Matt retorted. "And daisy? Who on earth would pick daisy?!"

"Daisy's a nice name." I pointed out.

"Told ya." Val gloated. I looked at the screen, watching as Matt flicked through the four player games. Val played with her hair leisurely while waiting for Matt to pick a game.

"Why don't we draw straws while waiting? Loser gets y/n!" Matt offered. I frowned, biting the inside of my cheek in annoyance.

"What?! Don't treat me as a liability!" I exclaimed. 

Mello and Val shrugged, holding their hands out for rock paper scissors. I sneered as I watched the three of them compete over and over again until Matt won.

"Suckers! Winner's my partner!"

"I'd rather lose on purpose." Val muttered before throwing rock. Mello threw scissors and huffed, throwing a side glance at me. I resisted the urge to stick my tongue out at him.

"Whatever. We're gonna win this." He said with confidence. I rolled my eyes, sinking into the ground. Matt flicked through more of the games before picking one, the title screen loaded 'Mario Kart, Double Dash.' 

"Seriously? You better let me drive, Matt."

"Like you'd be a better driver than me. I've been driving since 1989."

"You weren't even born in 1989!" Val chortled.

Mello snorted, his lips contorting into a grin as he pulled my shoulder to sit next to him on the beanbag. I bumped my shoulder onto his at the impact, my ears turning warm with awkwardness. I adjusted my controller, moving to pick a character. I stopped on a red guy who looked like the Italian, human version of the character on Mello's shirt.

"That okay?" I asked.

"Just peachy." He muttered, picking the green, taller looking character. Matt scowled at Val as she went to Daisy quickly.

"Oi! I'm player one, don't I have a say in who we're playing?!"

"I said I called Daisy. It's not my fault you're stuck with Peach along with me." Val snubbed.

"My controller my rules, Valentina."

"No, you're playing Peach, Matt." Mello announced. "Birthday wish."

"Dammit!" Matt cursed.

"Dibs manning the vehicle." Mello called out. 

"Too late! She's doing it!" Matt yelled in retaliation.

"Wait! What does—" In a matter of seconds, the game started and we were off. I stared at my controller in blatant confusion, music from the television was blurring with the clacking of Val and Matt's. But our kart wasn't moving. Mello looked at me, his expression calm for the first time in weeks. He used his eyebrows to point at my controller and I immediately pressed a random button, causing our kart to zoom off at the back of the pack.

"Just listen and do exactly as I say." Mello said, dropping his controller on his lap and placing his hands over mine to assist me. I instinctively tightened my grip on the controller, that feeling of not wanting to disappoint him rushed back all at once, like we were in one of our tutoring sessions. I instinctively looked down at the controller, reading the numbers and letters instead of looking at the screen. I felt a tight grip on my head as Mello pulled it back up to look at the screen.

"Pay attention, pipsqueak." He scolded, moving my pointer finger to one of the buttons, making the car go faster. "Keep holding this down."

"And this?" I asked, hovering another finger over a different button. Mello let go of me and stared back at the television, picking up his controller.

"You press that and I'll kill you."

Val snorted, shifting her body to move closer to me.

"Dare you to press it."

"No way! You're gonna make us lose!" I jabbed, swerving the controller left before I could crash. Mello cackled loudly at my sudden confidence, glancing at Matt's focused expression.

"I bet tomorrow's breakfast I win." He jested towards Val and Matt.

"No deal! It's jam pie!" Val denied. Matt, however, just snorted at Mello's audacity.

"With your kart that far? I'll hold you to that." He snickered, drifting his controller and crossing the line for the first time. Mello and I were slowly catching up towards them, at fourth place. After a minute, the both of us crossed the line for the first time. Unfortunately, I immediately fell off the map.

"S-sorry..." I stuttered. Mello grunted, placing his controller down and steadying my shaky hands before picking it right back up and aiming a banana at Matt and Val's kart, but it hit another and that kart spun out of control. I didn't have time to look at where it went when I heard Mello cheer loudly, right in my ear, causing the kart to jolt along with me.

"Ha! Idiot!"

With Mello's help, we drifted to third. I could see Val and Matt's kart in the distance, I pressed on the acceleration button again, steering right, back on course. We hit a mystery box and Mello continued to chuck things at the other two. They were too fast, we were stuck in second place behind them.

They crossed the line for the second time and so did we, the other cars out of our line of sight. Mello looked over at my concentrated expression.

"How good is your aim?"

"What?!"

"Good answer. Just stay put until I tell you."

He switched controllers with me without hesitation. I fumbled, yet I held onto it, watching Matt and Val inch closer behind. Mello was a better driver than me by a milestone, I was shocked he didn't switch controllers right off the bat. I refrained from doing anything, waiting for the perfect timing.

Mello and Matt glanced at each other, as if trying to read each other's thoughts.

"You might wanna play quieter, Mello. You wouldn't want us to dodge last minute, would you?" Val prodded.

Mello grimaced, bumping my shoulder in silent communication. I nodded, waiting for him to give me a signal. We neared the end of the race, Val and Matt were still in front of us. I bit my lip, looking at Mello, wondering what he was doing. The finish line was in sight, I was tempted to press a button. Mello's eyes remained focused for a few more seconds before taking a sharp glance at me.

That was my cue.

I aimed at their kart, shutting my eyes firing a banana peel at the last second. Mello's expression lightened up instantly and we raced over the finish line with seconds to spare.

"Thats breakfast!" Mello cheered, watching their kart cross the line shortly after ours. Val and I looked at each other and then at Matt, who was gawking at the television in disbelief.

"Fuck!" He exclaimed, whacking his forehead with his heavy gloves. He quickly unplugged his television with his foot bitterly. He dug through the cupboard on his desk, taking out the capsules in an attempt to stop Mello from basking in his victory for too long. Mello immediately leaned forward staring at the dusty covers of the capsules. Val and I took that as a hint and we both removed our capsules that were stowed under the bed, placing them in a pile in the middle.

Mello exchanged a silent, accusatory glance at Matt before clearing his throat.

"Seriously?" He huffed in frustration. "You're giving me something that's mine for my birthday?"

"You should be grateful. I found it tucked away in the depths of my ah—" he stopped himself. "—room."

"We said we'd open it together." I explained.

"I don't suppose you think this is some kind of group bonding activity?" He sneered.

"Don't call it that, you'll sound like Arielle." Val muttered, hopping from the bed and onto the floor next to Matt and I.

Mello crawled and reached for his capsule, moving back to the orange beanbag and opening it. He winced at the cracked wood digging into his skin, but he persisted, opening the capsule wide to reveal its contents.

We were met with a foul stench, causing Matt to jump with joy.

"It wasn't mine! Fifty pounds, Val!" He exclaimed. Val glared at him, a side note for him to shut up. Mello peeked into the box, making a sour face as soon as he saw its contents. With two fingers, he lifted the source of the smell, revealing it to the three of us. A rotten bar of chocolate. I, who was sitting next to him, quickly moved away and gagged.

"Did your younger self really feel the need to to put chocolate in his capsule?!" Val choked, trying not to laugh so she wouldn't take in the stench. Mello rolled his eyes at our reactions, his cheeks turning pink at thoughts of his younger self.

"Give me a break, I was six!" He grumbled, dangling it in front of Matt's face. "I dare you to take a bite."

"Hah?! Are you shitting me?!" Matt gagged, placing his hand over his mouth as his face paled, ridden with disgust. I continued to laugh, clutching my stomach. Mello shifted to me, dangling the chocolate in front of my face. I shuddered, quickly shutting up.

"I'll get you something if you took a bite," Mello dared. I shook my head hastily, causing him to snicker. "Come on pipsqueak, you can't be a coward forever."

"Isn't that thing eight years old?!" Val pointed out, causing Mello to shift to her straight after. She gagged and swatted it away. When Mello finally retreated, the both of us busted into a fit of giggles.

"You know, you should be the one to eat it. Considering your younger self left it for you and all." Matt prodded with a cheshire grin. Mello shook his head, placing it back in the capsule where it belonged. He gestured to Val to go next, but Matt called out and snatched his own capsule before Val could do anything.

"My turn!"

"What are the odds it's an old console?" Val scoffed.

"What are the odds it's a vintage game?" I guessed.

"It's a shoe. I remember Matt putting it in there." Mello said. 

"Way to ruin the surprise!" Matt whined, opening the box with ease, due to his gloves. Sure enough, there laid one single knock-off doodled on converse, along with a pair of tiny spectacles. I couldn't help but gush at the sheer size of it all.

"Aww! You were so small!"

Matt's cheeks flushed red as he scoffed.

"Yeah, I was six." Matt defended. Val picked out the spectacles, noticing the cracks that flew in all sorts of directions. She sighed, placing it back in the box. 

"Definitely Matt's." She said, reaching over to pick out her own sequinned pink box. She opened it, rummaging through the contents before picking out a small, grey stuffed bunny rabbit. It had buttons for eyes, or rather, eye, and was half chewed.

"A chewed up bunny? You're not Near, Val." Matt shrugged. Val scoffed, holding the bunny close to her chest in reminiscence, protecting it from his judging gaze.

"I think it's adorable." I said, leaning over to grab my own capsule. I was immediately prodded by the stale wood, poking out at all ends. I winced, picking it up and delicately placing it on my lap. I fiddled with the front, carefully opening the box with clear interest. The first thing that met my gaze was an incomplete picture. Someone who appeared to be my age, standing right in front of the gates of Wammy's. His expression remained stoic, tired, defeated. I dropped the image, my heart pounding in nervousness as I searched the box for something else. Something lighthearted.

"W-wow, a marker..." I uttered, picking up a red marker that laid in the corner of the box. Matt and Val looked at me with disappointment, but Mello challenged my gaze with his own. I looked away quickly, shifting my position on the floor.

"Oh well, another round guys?" Matt offered, throwing the controllers back at the three of us.

----

Laughter turned into yawns, yawned turned into our own exhaustion. Matt laid limply on the floor, his head resting on the beanbag Mello was sitting in. Val had taken over Matt's bed, curling up in a thick comforter and facing away from us as she slept soundly. Mello and I were left, awake and staring at each other as we sat in the corner of Matt's room, the only corner that didn't have cables on the floor.

"Not tired?" Mello asked, his voice lacking exhaustion. I yawned and shrugged my shoulders.

"A bit tired." I admitted, huddling my knees closer to my chest.

"Then go to sleep." He told, raising a blonde brow at my odd behaviour. I shook my head, stubbornly forcing myself to stay awake.

"You haven't asked me what my present for you was." I said, digging under Matt's bed, where I had stowed the novel he lent to me. I picked it up and handed it to him. "I wanted to give you this. I've been holding onto it for a while, and it's not mine so..."

"You're giving me something that's mine? Matt's really rubbing off on you." Mello huffed, glancing at his book.

"Well, it didn't seem right for me to keep it for a week." I said sternly. His expression shifted to one of gratitude as he examined the condition of the book.

"Thanks, pipsqueak," he muttered, his face flushing a deep, vivid red. I rarely saw Mello blush, but when he did, it was impossible to miss. The colour ran from the tip of his nose to the side of his cheeks almost perfectly. I wracked my brain, searching for a reason behind this sudden, unexpected reaction.

"Rosacea?" I laughed.

"Quit laughing," He muttered, his face flushing an even deeper red.

"I can't stop laughing." I giggled.

He huffed, his grip tightening on the novel in his hands. He played with the pages before looking back at me with interest.

"You finished it?"

"I mean... there was no point in finish it when you spoiled it for me, is there?" I asked. He sighed, throwing the book loosely back into my arms, rolling his eyes at my words.

"If you're going to stop when someone spoils things for you, then you shouldn't be here."

I pouted, holding onto the book tightly. I cracked it open, the only light in the room was emitted from the wide window in Matt's room, by a large lamppost that stood tall outside the house. Mello dug into the pockets of his sweats, picking out a flashlight along with those conical chocolate sweets I had seen him eat this morning. He offered me one and I accepted, popping it into my mouth as I cracked open the book, flipping it to where I had left off.

Mello shifted, his shoulder against mine as he read the book with me. He was a faster reader than I was, grumbling quietly when he was done with a chapter and I refused to turn the page. The air was thickened with silence. Pure, comfortable silence.

Eventually, just as I was about to finish the book, I heard the faint sounds of an engine from outside of the window. Mello and I looked at each other at once, standing up and carefully opening the window, poking our heads out one at a time. I squinted in the darkness, watching Roger's silhouette enter a car along with Arielle. The night was pitch black, not a cloud in sight, and the front of the orphanage was laced with snow. Yet they still left.

They left.

"What the—"

I didn't let Mello finish his sentence. They were gone! They were finally gone! There was one thing that was in my mind and that was freedom.

"Come on!" I urged, grabbing his wrist and exiting Matt's room, adrenaline coursing through my veins, a sudden burst of energy coursed through me. I watched as Mello's eyes widened in surprise, his own tired legs stumbling slightly to keep up with my pace.

"Where are we going, exactly?!"

"Anywhere! Roger's gone!"

"You're not being specific enough, pipsqueak." Mello spat, but he didn't resist at my tug. I could see the intrigue on his face, curiosity, annoyance and excitement were what I was seeing from him. His actions were finally direct, not haywire like the past week. He slowed to a stop, still allowing me to hold onto my wrist. I followed suit, tilting my head at his actions. "Are you really gonna run around the house blindly?"

"I... hadn't really thought that far." I admitted idiotically.

"Of course you hadn't. You never think," he scolded, twisting away and darting off in the opposite direction. Without warning, he grabbed my arm and pulled me past the sleeping quarters, weaving left, then right, clearly relishing the thrill of our spontaneous escape. We were heading nowhere near the cathedral. "There's... somewhere."

"Somewhere?" I asked, eagerly. He took a few more turns, his movements quick in the deserted hallway. My breath grew laboured and so did his. My anticipation was skyrocketing, watching Mello selflessly break the rules was something I never thought I'd see. Mello weaved, finding a door and pushing through it. Behind the door was a set of stairs, coiling up to the top. With his hand still tightly on my wrist, we climbed them, higher and higher up the house. 

The atmosphere grew colder, my chest tightened as he reached the top, letting my wrist go to push a trap door from above him. I saw the dust fall from the edge of the staircase and I coughed as it flew into my nose. Mello climbed higher up, pulling himself into the room that was revealed by the trap door. I followed suit, holding onto the edge of the trap door as I helped myself up.

I looked around at the dusty attic, Mello's flashlight still at hand. There were a few cobwebs here and there, but a huge skylight concealed by a bit of tarp. I tried to stand up, my head whacking into the ceiling instantaneously.

"Owch!" I cried. Mello scoffed.

"Idiot..." He huffed, hunching over so he can fit under the low ceiling. He removed the bit of tarp and laid down on the floor, staring right at the skylight. I followed after him, lying down and looking at the stars behind the glass.

"It's cramped in here."

"If it wasn't, it wouldn't be an attic, would it?"

The attic was much colder than Matt's room, I could feel the heat rushing towards my cheeks as my body attempted to keep me warm. I looked over at Mello, his cheeks turning pink yet again.

"You definitely have rosacea."

"Shut up." He shot back.

We stared at the sky in silence again, hoping the other would break the awkwardness of it all. I was about to say something when Mello spoke quickly, saying the words I didn't know I so desperately wanted to hear.

"I didn't mean it, y'know?" He said silently, turning his head to look back at me. I furrowed my eyebrows, trying to decipher what he meant.

"Didn't mean what?"

"Didn't... mean to make you cry." He huffed, turning his head away from me as he stifled an apology. "I'm... sorry."

"I take it you're not an expert at apologising" I said flatly, hearing his tone. “I uh… also can’t take you seriously in that shirt.”

"You want the apology or not?" He asked, his annoyance skyrocketing at my little comment.

"I do! It's just... I'm not upset. I'm just glad."

"Are you a masochist?"

"N-no! I just... I'm glad you care enough to yell at me. So I can do better."

"Yeah... don't forget I'm doing this for Matt too." He reminded, turning to look back at the ceiling. "It was idiotic of me to yell at you. I'm supposed to be teaching you, not making you read my mind."

"You're not an idiot." I said simply, sitting up and huddling against my knees, looking at him dead in the eyes. I closed my eyes and buried my face into my knees bashfully as I continued. "You're not an idiot, Mello. You're so smart. I was honestly jealous the first time I saw you."

"I'm sorry, what?" He raised his eyebrows as if I had said the most absurd thing in the world.

"It's only been a month and I already understand more than what I knew before. You're an amazing tutor." I continued.

Mello gawked at me before clearing his throat as he tried to brush off my praise.

"You have potential," he uttered reluctantly. I beamed at him, staring back at the skylight.

"That's the first time I've heard that. Y'know most people just tell me I'm useless." I chuckled lightheartedly.

"Those people are wrong. If you're stupid, it means I was useless." Mello scoffed, his voice reaching his usual stiffness. He nudged onto my shoulder and I turned to look at him as he sat up next to me. "And you know how it's practically impossible for me to be useless."

"That's a bold claim, considering I've been studying by myself for a week."

Mello scrunched his nose in annoyance, refusing to listen to my words.

"Excuses." He muttered.

I chuckled, hearing a thunk at the bottom of the stairs. I looked back slightly for a few seconds, but the noise had dissipated. I turned back to him and exhaled, grinning tiredly as I looked at his face continuously blur and sharpen by the second. My eyes were growing tired, but I didn't want to end our conversation so easily.

"I'm glad."

"Glad... how? That you're failing and need my help to get by?"

"Not that! I'm glad we're friends," I admitted, closing my eyes finally as I flopped back onto the dusty floor. "I mean... we don't even need to know anything about each other, but we're still friends. Isn't that crazy?"

Pause.

"Yeah... crazy..." Mello muttered gruffly, his voice trailing off. I opened my eyes and was about to question him when I heard the trap door of the attic burst open. I looked back, staring at the raven haired, blurry figure holding tightly onto a telescope. The figure's grip on his telescope loosened slightly, he fumbled slightly with it before catching it and clutching it tightly. My eyes came into focus and I stared at him.

"O-Ollie?" I asked. Ollie's face turned bright red as he placed his telescope up at the attic and carefully climbed down.

"I'll come back later!" He exclaimed.

"Wait!" I called out, not wanting to interfere with... whatever Ollie wanted to do. I looked at Mello and he sighed, following after me as we exited the attic to run after Ollie.

----

Mello sat in his room, his eyes bleary with exhaustion as he turned his desk lamp on. He swiped the newspaper and other clutter away from the desk. He left A's box, stagnant at the middle of the desk. He placed another box, atop the table, staring at the bright, burgundy colour of the wood as he repeated the name at the front in his head. He carefully cracked A's capsule open, taking out the picture that was hidden from last time. He shifted his gaze onto the burgundy capsule as he thought of that moment in the attic.

'We don't even need to know everything about each other.'

He muttered a bitter apology under his breath, cracking open the burgundy capsule and peering inside. As expected, nestled beside the red marker was a photograph. A picture of… him.

A.

Mello connected the images together, his expression soured at his own invasive actions. He lifted the burgundy box and inspected it, noticing a false backing at the bottom of the capsule. Using a pen, he lifted the false backing to see a cream piece of parchment with sloppy writing in red marker. Too bad Matt wasn't there to decipher it.

Hard way it was.

Mello took out a pen, clicking it and placing lined paper next to him as he wrote down the letters one by one. The first words was enough to send shivers down his dauntless self.

'Leave. Please.'