Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Chapter One: Glass

‘There. Enjoy the air.’

Elphaba thought herself quite clever for her little quip, but in truth, she was trying to distract Galinda from the fact she’d lost her temper. It wasn’t that she was particularly concerned about whether her new roommate found her unsettling or not - she’d already made her thoughts on that very clear - but she if she was going to be stuck with the girl, she didn’t want to scare her, as such, by exposing her penchant for losing her cool with her magic. 

Galinda, for her part, was staring wide-eyed at the broken glass of the balcony window without moving. It was almost amusing to Elphaba - she’d been raging around the place like a miniature pink tornado, and all it took to shut her up was a door slamming and glass fracturing. Or perhaps it was the swift demonstration of magic that did it. Elphaba didn’t particularly care. She marched back over to the dusty corner of the suite Galinda had apparently assigned her, and carried on shoving boxes and suitcase to give herself some space. 

Of all the things Elphaba expected out of her day, suddenly enrolling at Shiz and getting saddled with a talkative, irksome blonde was not on her list. A part of her tried to be grateful for the opportunity, but as she leaned over the narrow bed she’d been supplied and yanked off the rest of the window covers, spluttering from the dust, she couldn’t help but feel as if it was some sort of cruel trick. Any minute now, she was expecting someone to jump out, laugh at her, and load her onto a boat back to Munchkinland. Don’t be so ridiculous, they would proclaim. Why would we let someone like you join such an illustrious institution just because you can do a handful of magic tricks ? 

Shuddering at the very thought of it, Elphaba bundled up the drapings and chucked them at the foot of the bed. She flapped a hand in the air to dissipate some of the dust. How had it even gotten there? Given Galinda’s obvious wealth, surely Shiz’s cleaners would’ve made certain the suite spick and span? I bet she found a way to somehow make it dusty on purpose , Elphaba frowned. It was quite peculiar to think someone capable of such a petty thing within minutes of meeting, but Elphaba would not put it past her. She wouldn’t say she disliked Galinda on sight, but her attitude left much to be desired - particularly since was refusing to help Elphaba make space.

‘You know,’ Elphaba muttered, grunting as she pushed at a particularly large trunk embossed with Galinda’s personalised crest ( what sort of a person has their own crest, of Oz’s sake! she thought to herself), ‘you could give me a hand instead of standing there gawking. Just what did you pack ? Your kitchen sink?’

Galinda, who still hadn’t moved from the balcony, didn’t say anything. Elphaba straightened up and glowered at her back. ‘Right. Pretend I’m not here. Don’t worry, I’m very used to that old trick.’ She gave the trunk a mighty shove with her foot, and it slid a little further across the room. Galinda turned, then. And Elphaba was startled. 

For whatever reason, Galinda seemed much, much paler than she had been five minutes ago, and she was working her lower lip between her teeth with such frantic fervour, it was a wonder she had any lipstick left. Her eyes were darting all around the room, and, to Elphaba’s unwelcome concern, she seemed to be trembling ever so slightly. 

‘Why are you - don’t kick my stuff!’ she managed to blurt out. But her voice was ragged around the edges, as if she couldn’t quite get the words unstuck from her throat. 

‘You stuff is in the way,’ Elphaba scowled. ‘Not sure it’s cause for whatever this is, though.’ She gestured vaguely to Galinda’s trembling form. ‘Calm down. It’s just a trunk.’

Galinda’s lips parted just a hair. Her chest was rising and falling faster, much faster. Elphaba was momentarily uneasy - is she really that upset about me moving her things around? - but she quickly dismissed her own train of thought. Galinda Upland was a dramatist, she knew that. And this was just another example of it. 

‘You - you broke the window,’ Galinda stammered. She had pressed a hand to her chest, as if she was aware she was breathing too quickly. 

Elphaba frowned at her. ‘...Yes, I’m well aware.’ She suddenly felt a little awkward with Galinda staring at her, eyes as wide as saucers and overly bright. Maybe she had spooked her more than she realised. ‘Um, sorry. I can ask the Estates team to come and fix it.’

She watched as Galinda struggled through a thick swallow, her throat almost spasming with the effort of it. The girl gave herself a little shake. 

‘You better. It’s - it’s a terrible way to make an impression,’ she spluttered, looping her arms around her middle and giving herself a squeeze. ‘There’s glass everywhere. I’m not cleaning it up.’

‘I don’t recall asking you to,’ Elphaba said flatly.

‘No, but I can’t - we can’t just leave it here.’

‘Oz, what do you want me to do ?’ snapped Elphaba, her short temper getting the better of her. Galinda flinched at little. ‘I’ve already told you I’ll get someone to come and fix it, and if it’s that much of a big deal for you, I’ll sweep up the stupid glass. But not before you stop being dramatic and help me clear some space so I can - hey, where are you going?’

Without another look in her direction, Glainda had stumbled past her and the growing disarray of her possessions, and flounced into the bathroom. Elphaba blinked after her, startled as she slammed the door behind her. She stood dumbly for a moment, not quite sure what to do with herself. She didn’t really want to irritate Galinda to that extent, but she couldn’t deny the tiny flare of satisfaction she felt when she stormed off. How easy it is to ruffle her , she shrugged. 

It was only after one of Dr Dillamond’s seminars did Elphaba realise something was genuinely amiss, and it was the first of a handful of incidents that made her realise she had more in common with Galinda than she first thought.

*

The seminar room was a little too warm for Galinda’s tastes. That, combined with the fact that Dr Dillamond’s classes were so spectacularly boring , she often found herself at risk of dozing off. It didn’t help that she appeared to be experiencing a rather vicious bout of insomnia - something that Elphaba Thropp was entirely responsible for. 

Despite appearing as what some would perceive as an airhead, Galinda was more than aware of her situation. Or, more accurately, her preposterous predicament. Huffing through her nostrils, she slumped her chin into her hand, covering her mouth with her palm, and her eyes drifted over to the aforementioned green menace. Perhaps if she merely pretended to scream into her hand, some of her frustrations would be unleashed without bringing undue attention to them. The last thing she wanted to do was cause commotion enough to distract the class. And it wasn’t as if Elphaba was looking in her direction, anyway. She’d been giving her the cold shoulder since that morning, when she woke up to find herself imprisoned with stacks of pink suitcases, trunks, and boxes. 

Smirking at the memory, Galinda felt a little better. That’s all she had to do. Focus on all the petty jibes, the childish tricks, and cutting remarks that had been exchanged over the first week they’d shared since enrolment. Such an intense reaction had to come from somewhere , after all. Galinda didn’t loath people without good reason. She was far too nice for that. In fact, exchanging verbal blows with Elphaba was almost enjoyable. Watching her roommate try to appear unbothered, until Galinda picked and prodded and poked enough for her to snap, angry and flustered… flustered . Yes, that was always quite enjoyable. 

Galinda resisted the urge to scream into her hand again as her mind strayed to that particular situation once more. It was reaching the point where it was genuinely keeping her awake at night - hence the insomnia. She was acutely aware that she was applying more and more make-up under her eyes to disguise the shadows, and she was even considering adopting Shenshen’s suggestion of resting tea bags on her eyes to help with the swelling. The caffeine acts as a natural antioxidant and increases blood circulation! she had proclaimed over breakfast that morning, after Pfannee had made a comment on Galinda’s appearance. That certainly spelled trouble - Pfannee was usually oblivious to most things around him. If even he was noticing Galinda’s telling eyebags, then something was desperately wrong.

But despite her best efforts (and her general anxiety about not looking her best), Galinda could not settle her thumping heart and roaring thoughts enough to sleep . It had been going on for a week. She tried to blame the perfectly normal feeling of being unsettled in a new place, but who was she kidding? And of course Elphaba, curse her, continued to sleep like a baby. That made it even worse . She wasn’t paying a single spare thought to Galinda. No, her thoughts must’ve been occupied with her special tutelage under Madame Morrible, or her wild aspirations to meet the Wizard, or which of her frumpy outfits to wear which somehow looked good on her - no ! Galinda let out a muffled squeak. No, Elphaba did not look good in her ridiculous clothes, no matter how well they complimented the deep, charming green of her eyes, or - stop it!

‘Are you okay?’

Galinda glanced to her left to find Shenshen looking at her with a peculiar expression. Her little squeak must’ve been louder than she thought. She quickly plastered on a smile. 

‘Y-Yes, all good!’ she whispered. ‘Just struggling to stay awake. This is so dreadfully dull.’

‘You can say that again,’ Shenshen murmured. ‘And - oh, typical . The swotty broccoli strikes again.’

Galinda followed her line of sight to find Elphaba with her hand in the air. She hadn’t even realised that Dr Dillamond had asked a question to answer . She straightened up in her seat. It turned out that Elphaba was asking a question rather than answering, which was just like her. Instead of sitting and listening to the lecture like a normal student, she had to go and draw attention to herself and show off how engaged and intelligent and discerning she - no, no, no! It is not a good thing to be such an insufferable geek!

‘Does she ever take a day off?’ Shenshen muttered. ‘Honestly, it’s like she wants everyone’s eyes on her. If I looked like her, I’d do the decent thing and stay locked up somewhere out of sight.’ She let out a quiet chuckle, but Galinda didn’t join in. She didn’t know what Shenshen and the rest of the student populace saw, but in her eyes, Elphaba was quite beautiful, in a strange, beguiling sort of - stop it, right now!

Shenshen nudged her, as if annoyed that she hadn’t laughed along with her, and Galinda immediately let out a burst of laughter that was altogether much too loud. Heads snapped around to stare at her. 

‘Something amusing, Miss G-Glinda?’ Dillamond bleated. For a goat, he couldn’t half look irritated. 

Galinda felt her cheeks heat up. Shenshen had shrunk down in her seat - so much for camaraderie - and the weight of everyone’s gaze on them was making Galinda squirm. She liked attention, of course, but on her own terms. And there was a distinct difference between having attention and being the centre of it. The latter she never enjoyed. 

‘Um,’ she cleared her throat, trying to cling back to her usual unflappable energy, ‘I - it was a cough. Is it illegal to cough in class, Dr Dillamond?’

The students sniggered as Dillamond’s ears twitched in vexation.

‘Only when the cough is quite clearly an aggravating shriek of laughter.’

Galinda’s eyes locked onto Elphaba, her mouth falling open in outrage. Aggravating shriek? Just who does this girl think she is?!

‘Well perhaps I was unable to contain my laughter because I caught sight of that absolutely dastardly dress you have on,’ Galinda said, tossing her hair over her shoulder. ‘I mean, come on , Elphaba. Even you ought to know it’s wrong to rob a corpse of its burial outfit.’

That earned a ringing chorus of unkind laughter that made Galinda feel both relieved and a little guilty. But when Elphaba next opened her mouth to retort, the guilt was immediately replaced with embarrassment. 

‘You knew exactly what outfit I was wearing before we even set foot in here,’ Elphaba said, totally ignoring the laughter that erupted at her expense. ‘You spent most of your morning eyeing me from your mirror as I changed into it, after all.’

The laughter vanished as quickly as it started, and Galinda went a very peculiar shade of pink. She was extremely aware that everyone was staring at her again, and she felt the tips of her ears starting to burn with heat. 

‘I - well - I was just taken-aback by your repulsive form, if you must know!’ she snapped, her voice cracking. 

‘Uh-huh. Hence the unwavering observation.’

‘You -’

‘ - Settle down, girls,’ Dillamond said tiredly. ‘I’d rather not have to endure this back-and-forth every seminar, if I can help it. I do have a class to teach.’

‘Sorry, Dr Dillamond,’ Elphaba said immediately, lowering her gaze. Galinda merely folded her arms. Like heck she was going to apologise to that old goat when he still couldn’t pronounce her name properly. Fortunately, Dillamond knew better than to press the matter, and he seamlessly slid back into his teaching. Galinda didn’t know or care what he was talking about, and put her chin in her hand again. Her face still felt hot. 

Instead of paying attention, she blinked down at her desk, eyes flickering over the paper Dillamond had marked. A couple of days into their first week, he requested they put together an essay on The Great Drought - something that technically wasn’t in the curriculum, and Galinda’s result had…not been good. She pouted as she looked at the poor percentage scrawled over the top and myriad of corrections scrawled in red ink. She briefly wondered how Dillamond even held the pen that criticised her so, but, as with the equipment set up in his seminar room, he probably had an adapted piece. A savage part of her wished he didn’t - for at least then, he wouldn’t be able to make her feel all small and stupid for her failing grade. Thank goodness it doesn’t contribute to our final results, she thought to herself. 

Of course, Galinda’s academic struggles had been an enduring part of her life for as long as she could remember learning to read and write. Her teachers had called her every belittling phrase in the book - dopey, slow, woolley-headed - words gentle enough to her ears, until she realised they were trying to find a kinder way to call her stupid. She pressed her lips together, glowering at the 27% on her paper as if it had personally offended her. It had, in a way. It made her feel frustrated and embarrassed. It made her feel like a child again, fighting back tears when she couldn’t keep up in the tortuous weekly quizzes, no matter how hard she tried. And she did try. Maybe not as hard as she could in this particular case, but she wasn’t lazy. She just didn’t like History. Unfortunately, the trend had started to emerge in her other classes, too. But she didn’t really want to think about that.

The light in the seminar room suddenly darkened, and Galinda lifted her head up from her chin to find Dr Dillamond was setting up his custom made projector. Oz, he’s so grossly obsessed with his little slide decks , she frowned. She couldn’t give two hoots about what he was going on about, but Elphaba’s attention was rapt, as always. Galinda was a little jealous. The only times she really concentrated was when she was actually interested in what she was doing. Otherwise her mind would wander, and presently, she couldn’t help but imagine how pleasant it would be to be the object of Elphaba’s devout attention instead of teaching content, green eyes devouring every minute detail and movement - what in Oz are you thinking?! It would not be pleasant at all!

Galinda straightened up and gave herself a little shake, mentally berating herself for such an alarming - and inaccurate - train of thought, but for better or worse, her mind couldn’t linger on that, for the sudden sweep of shocked gasps rather derailed her. She blinked, trying to work out what she was seeing. As soon as Dr Dillamond flipped the blackboard, words in red were lit up by the burning projector, setting them ablaze.

Animals should be seen and not heard.

Dillamond was rattled. Murmurs erupted across the seminar room, making Galinda’s ears buzz. Then, several things happened at once. In his mounting fury and panic, Dillamond had demanded to know who was responsible, and Galinda whipped her head around at her fellow classmates, as if expecting them to raise their hands, to own up, they seemed just as startled as he was. For a moment, Galinda felt sorry for him. It wasn’t his fault he was Animal. Yes, she disliked him, but only because he taught the most boring subject in all of Oz and assumed, like most academics, that she was nothing but an airhead. He didn’t deserve such disdain. She watched, wide-eyed, as he ordered them out of the room. When no one moved, he said it again, louder, and stumbled back into a little table. 

Galinda’s breath caught in her throat as she saw a flower vase topple. Her hands instinctively shot to her ears, but it was too late - the vase tipped, met the ground, and the sound of shattering glass splintered in the space.

And then people started to move, gathering their things, stuffing books in bags and hurrying to get out as quickly as possible. A wave of collective embarrassment seemed to pulsate throughout the classroom - seeing an authority figure in distress was uncomfortable for the students - but Galinda was feeling uncomfortable for an entirely different reason. She stared at the broken glass, her jaw locking in place, fists clenching, palms sweating. 

‘Galinda, hurry up already,’ Shenshen scowled, on her feet and looming over her. Galinda, frozen in her seat, was blocking her from leaving. Her words got stuck in her throat, but she scrambled to her feet, knocking against the desk as she did so. 

‘S-Sorry,’ she stammered. Her chest was tight. The back of her neck was hot. No, no, no. Not now. Not here . 

Shenshen looked at her oddly. ‘It’s okay, don’t worry. But let’s get a move on, shall we? It’s rare class is dismissed so early. We might as well make the most of it.’

Galinda nodded, clutching her books to her chest, her dreadful assignment tucked out of sight in her notebook. She wavered a little as she stumbled after Pfannee as he led them out, eyes glued to the back of his head. She needed something else to focus on, something other than the breaking glass, the noise of it, so loud and grating and charged and - she gritted her teeth together. It was getting harder and harder to breathe. She hated herself for it.

Once they were out in the corridor - voices loud and overlapping as their classmates unpacked what they had just witnessed - Galinda realised it wasn’t just hard to breathe. She couldn’t breathe. Her grip around her books was whiteknuckled. She was trying to listen to what Pfannee and Shenshen were saying, trying to join in, but her words kept getting stuck in her throat. Is it tightening? I think it’s tightening. Oz, I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe. I can’t - 

‘ - Galinda. Galinda!’

Panicked eyes snapped up to find Pfannee and Shenshen frowning at her as their fellow students dispersed around them.

‘Er - w-what?’ squeaked Galinda, her voice breathless, fractured, in pieces. 

‘We asked if you wanted to go to the sun room,’ Pfannee said, referring to a large, glittering conservatory on campus made up entirely of stained glass. It was a beautiful place, but Galinda had no desire to be anywhere else but somewhere private, quiet, where she could get a hold of herself and calm down . 

‘I - yes, I’ll join you, but I just -’ she struggled around a tight gasp that forced its way out of her throat, ‘ - need to use the bathroom. Yes, bathroom.’ She gestured vaguely down the corridor to where she knew the girls’ lavatory to be - not that she ever went in there. She couldn’t stand public restrooms, so full of germs, and much preferred making the trip back to her room to use the en suite. Unfortunately, that particular trait of hers had been noticed. 

‘Bathroom?’ Shenshen snorted. ‘Galinda, you hate the campus bathrooms. If you’re going all the way back to your dorm, then we can just come with you and hang out there instead.’

No, please, no - ‘It’s f-fine. I don’t mind. I’ll be quick.’

Not giving them another moment to protest, Galinda hastened away from them. Her shoulders had crept up to her ears, and she felt so rigid that it almost hurt to put one foot in front of the other. But she had to get out. Away. Away, yes, away . 

*

Elphaba hadn’t noticed she’d nicked her finger on the broken glass of the flower vase until she’d left Dillamond’s classroom. The sting of it only registered vaguely, and she looked down in surprise to see a thin line of blood blooming from her skin. Ever diligent, she headed for the restrooms to clean it. 

Elphaba wouldn’t describe herself a hypochondriac, per se, but she was likely a little too conscious about her own health. She knew where it stemmed from. It wasn’t hard to look inwards and pinpoint her assiduousness. She’d seen her mother after Nessa’s birth - just a glimpse, a harrowing, narrow line through the crack in the door - but the blood on the sheets and the slack expression on her face had been burned so viscerally into Elphaba’s eyes, that she used to imagine scrubbing them with a scouring sponge as if it could rid them of the image. That, coupled with the fact that she was rarely attended to when she was ill - Duclibear did her best, but she had so many other duties to attend to - meant that Elphaba worked a little too hard to ensure she never fell ill. And the cut, small though it was, was a breeding ground for infection if she didn’t clean it. 

She remembered when she was about 8, and she and Nessa had both fallen unwell with a stomach bug. Nessa had undivided attention from her father and staff, constantly topping up her water glass and dabbing her brow with a cooling towel. Elphaba, meanwhile, was left to curl up on the tiles of the bathroom floor, vomiting into the toilet with no one to hold her hair back. While Dulcibear had tried to reassure her that no, it’s not you, sweet thing, it’s just your sister is younger and less able than you are - Elphaba knew the truth. No one wanted to care for her. The message was clear. And from that episode on, Elphaba was left in her sickness - with the occasional fleeting visit from an increasingly busy Dulcibear - and she learnt her lesson. Do not slip up and let yourself get poorly. 

Sighing to herself, Elphaba pushed open the door of the bathroom and went inside. Mercifully, only one cubicle was occupied. Elphaba had seen one too many of her classmates grimace whenever she entered the bathroom, as if repulsed they evidently had to share with the likes of her , and she wasn’t in the mood for any additional hostility. Her mind was ablaze with anger for Dr Dillamond, for the cruel words on the blackboard, for the fact the only friend she’d actually made was her teacher -

A strange sound interrupted her manic thoughts. She paused from where she was about to turn on the tap and clean the cut, frowning. It sounded almost like a wheeze. Something strangled, something choked. Her ears strained to listen, but then she realised she was probably being weird, and turned on the tap. The water turned pink as it mixed with the blood from her finger, and she hissed in pain. She washed it thoroughly and dabbed it dry with her hankie - she certainly wasn’t going to use bog roll - and was just unwrapping one of the plasters she carried around with her when the noise came again, louder. It was unmistakable - someone was crying. 

Elphaba internally groaned. Walk away. It’s none of your business. Just walk away . They wouldn’t appreciate your help, anyway.

But she used to be the sort of girl to cry in the school bathrooms, too. Her goodness got the better of her.

‘Um,’ she cleared her throat, talking at the closed door, ‘sorry. Are you okay?’

The sound stopped for a moment, before a ragged, broken breath cut into the awkward silence of the bathroom. A loose tap dripped and Elphaba shifted on her feet. 

‘It’s alright,’ she said, at a loss. ‘I mean - it’s probably not , since you sound upset, but whatever it is, I’m sure it’ll be okay. Just - can I help, at all?’

Nothing. Only more snuffles, hitched breathing, the sound of someone struggling. Elphaba bit her lip. She didn’t know what to do . Should she leave? What would be the decent thing? Insist on being a listening ear? 

‘I…do you need a hankie? I’ve got a clean one here,’ she asked, cringing at herself. Naturally, she carried around several. ‘That is - well, the loo roll here isn’t particularly forgiving on one’s skin, is it?’

A tiny, broken whimper sounded from the cubicle. Elphaba edged closer, pressing her palm gently against the door. She imagined another hand on the other side, separated by the panel of wood.

‘It’s okay,’ she said softly. ‘Let me pass it under the door for you, okay?’

‘... Okay .’

The voice was raw, tight, in pieces. It made Elphaba’s chest hurt. Rummaging in her other pocket, she produced a fresh, pale green hankie embroidered with her initials, and stretched down to slip it through the gap in the door. There was a flash of a pale hand, of pink, perfectly painted nails, and the hankie was gone. Elphaba straightened up. 

‘Thank you,’ came the fragile voice. It sounded so uncertain, so scared . For a moment, Elphaba wanted to break the door down and take whoever was so upset in her arms, if only to reassure them for a moment. 

‘It’s not a problem.’ There was the distinctive sound of someone blowing their nose into it. ‘Er…You can keep it.’

A soft, watery laugh came from the cubicle, and a smile tugged at Elphaba’s lips. Laughter was a good sign. There was something oddly familiar about that sound, though, but she couldn’t place it. 

‘I hope you feel better soon,’ she said, fiddling with the strap of her bag. ‘I - er - I’ll leave you to it. But whatever has you so upset will probably all blow over, you know? Things always seem worse in the moment.’

There was no reply, just more sniffling, and Elphaba took that as her cue to leave. 

*

Galinda always took extremely long baths. It wouldn’t have bothered Elphaba if she didn’t think she was doing it on purpose. Her eyebrow twitching, she stared at the closed door, watching as steam unfurled from the thin crack above the floor and listening to Galinda’s tuneful singing. At least she can actually carry a tune , Elphaba thought. It would probably be the final straw if she sounded like a drowned cat. 

The rest of the day had ticked on - though talk of the incident in Dillamond’s class was rife - and come the evening, Elphaba was exhausted . All she wanted was to go through the bathroom so she could crawl into bed. Her lesson with Madame Morrible had been draining, considering she had finally managed to harness her power long enough to levitate a coin, and then she’d inadvertently crashed Dr Dillamond’s covert Animal gathering. The details of what he’d told her were deeply concerning - and that, coupled with enduring the usual jibes from her classmates - had all bundled up to make her thoroughly vexed. She wanted to sleep , and Galinda was getting in the way of that. 

‘Galinda!’ she said, putting her palm against the door. ‘Get a move on. You’ve been in there for ages , and some of us want a full night’s rest!’

‘ Mmm, beauty sleep, is it? ’ came Galinda’s tittering voice. ‘ I can’t say it’s working particularly well for you. ’

Elphaba’s nostrils flared. ‘Well at least I don’t spend hours in the bathroom preening myself like some sort of self-absorbed peacock.’

Galinda let out a gasp, and Elphaba heard a violent splash of water, as if Galinda had hurled her fist into it. ‘ Peacock? Don’t compare me to a horrible old bird , Elphaba. ’

‘Then perhaps you’d rather I likened you to a pig, since you’re such a bathroom hog .’

The ensuing shriek of outrage made Elphaba smirk, and it had the desired effect. Not five minutes later, Galinda burst from the bathroom in a sweet-smelling cloud of steam, eyes flashing, cheeks flushed from the heat of her bath.

‘You’re looking a bit pink in the face, Galinda,’ Elphaba grinned. ‘Careful, otherwise you really won’t be able to fight the hog allegations.’

Galinda, if possible, went even pinker . 

‘Just - ugh, get out of my way!’ she snarled, deliberately clipping Elphaba’s shoulder as she did so. ‘And anyway, I’d much rather be pink than a disgusting green like you !’

Elphaba didn’t bother replying. She’d got what she wanted - an empty bathroom. She shut the door and slid the lock, biting the insides of her cheeks to stop herself from laughing. It was so easy to wind Galinda up. She put her pyjamas on top of the closed toilet seat - since that morning when she felt Galinda looking at her critically when she was changing, she decided she’d rather have some privacy. Though come to think of it, was it really what I’d call a critical gaze? She seemed - no, don’t be ridiculous. 

Shaking her head, Elphaba tugged her dress off. Galinda had been mortified to learn that they had to do their own laundry - what makes them think I have the foggiest idea how to do that?! - and was even more irate when she realised there was only one laundry hamper. She had given Elphaba a wicker basket to use so neither girl would have to sort through the other’s dirty clothes. To the untrained eye, such a gesture seemed quite kind, but Elphaba knew it was because Galinda quite simply didn’t want to share. 

Rolling her eyes at the fuss she had kicked up, Elphaba bundled up her dress and dropped it into the assigned basket. As she started to unbutton her shirt, her eyes caught sight of something very odd in Galinda’s hamper. There was a scrap of green amongst the pink. Elphaba’s mouth fell open. She let her curiosity get the better of her and nudged aside her - oh, Oz, that’s a pair of her underwear! Why is it so small?! - and found her hankie, embroidered initials and all, nestled between a lone sock and a shirt sleeve. She blinked at it for a moment, wondering how it got there. She always handwashed her handkerchiefs, given their delicate fabric and personalised stitching, and it meant she could sterilise them properly at a hotter temperature than normal garments. So, it wasn’t a case that she’d mistakenly dropped it into Galinda’s hamper. Then what is it doing here?

The realisation hit her like a frying pan to the head. She whirled around to look at the bathroom door, as if expecting Galinda to notice the slip-up and come storming in to correct it. But she didn’t, of course. Elphaba let out a sharp breath. It had been Galinda in the bathroom earlier, sounding so dreadfully distressed. A nasty wash of guilt swarmed up from Elphaba’s gut. Did I upset her because of what I said in class? What other possible reason would Galinda Upland, of all people, have to cry about?

Her mind whirring, Elphaba secured her braids in a bonnet and quickly hopped into the shower. Unlike her roommate, she didn’t like to waste her time languishing in the tub, and instead scrubbed herself quickly and efficiently beneath the shower head. Should I say something? she pondered, as she rooted around the shower caddy to try and find her body wash. Galinda’s various bathing products took up 99% of the space, and Elphaba couldn’t even name some of them, let alone know what they were for. But the girl did always smell extremely pleasant, so Elphaba couldn’t really complain - wait. That’s a peculiar thing to think, isn’t it? Shaking her head, Elphaba worked a blob of her plain body wash between her palms and cleaned herself. 

When she was all finished and content in her pyjamas, she glanced at the hankie again. Without really knowing what she was doing, she snatched it up, opened the bathroom door, and found Galinda at her vanity. The girl was scrupulously going through her skincare routine, her hair wrapped up in a fluffy pink towel. Elphaba watched her for a moment, admiring the gentle curve where her neck met her shoulder, and immediately wondered why in Oz she’d be thinking about that. Holding the handkerchief behind her back, she cleared her throat. Galinda eyed her from the mirror.

‘If you’re going to try and coax out an apology for how long I took in the bathroom, then don’t bother,’ she scowled, tugging off the stopper of one of many bottles littering her vanity.

‘I wasn’t going to. I’d have better luck talking to a brick wall.’

‘Are you calling me dense ?’

‘Sure, if you like,’ Elphaba shrugged.

Galinda glowered at her. ‘If you must know, I spend a lot of time in the bathroom because I actually care about my appearance, and seek to refine it.’ Elphaba watched her lips twist into an unkind smirk. ‘Not that you’d know anything about that. Where did you find that hideous nightdress, Elphaba? At an outlet for the fashionably inept?’

‘I don’t actually recall asking why you spend a lifetime in the bathroom,’ Elphaba said, her eyebrow twitching in annoyance. 

‘Then why are you staring at me? Dazzled, are we?’ For good measure, she went to toss her hair, but had clearly forgotten it was bundled up in her towel. She froze, frowned, and her cheeks flushed a little. Elphaba did her best to stop herself from laughing, considering the dangerous territory she was about to brave. 

‘I wanted to ask you about this,’ she said, taking the hankie from behind her back. Galinda really did freeze, then. Elphaba watched with growing trepidation as the pink blush steadily spread all over her face, brightening the tips of her ears and her nose. 

‘It’s fine,’ Elphaba added quickly as Galinda’s shoulders stiffened, creeping up to her ears. ‘I mean - it doesn’t matter. I was just…I was wondering if you were, you know, okay?’

Galinda seemed to take a moment to process what was happening, her eyes wide. The bottle she was holding had started to shake a little. Oh, great, Elphaba thought. I’m making a real pig’s ear of this. 

‘...You sounded really upset,’ she continued, wishing she’d planned the conversion ahead of time. ‘And I - I was worried it was because of what I said in the seminar. About you watching me while I changed.’

Galinda went so pink that she matched her robe. ‘I - I didn’t - I have no idea what you’re talking about.’ She said it in a rush, as if the words were being sucked out of her in one hurried breath. Elphaba arched an eyebrow. 

‘No? So it wasn’t you in the bathroom, then? It wasn’t your pink nails I saw when I gave you the hankie, and it,’ - she waved the green scrap sarcastically in the air - ‘just happened to appear in your laundry hamper? I wasn’t born yesterday, Galinda.’

‘Why do you even care ?’ Galinda snarled, her voice trembling. 

‘Because if I upset you, I want to apologise for it.’

Galinda’s mouth fell open. ‘W-What?’

Elphaba lowered the hankie. ‘...Look, I know we have our differences and we have the odd disagreement, but Oz, Galinda, I don’t want to make you cry .’

‘You didn’t.’

‘If you’re trying to pretend that wasn’t you in the bathroom, then -’

‘ - No,’ Galinda interrupted quickly, putting the bottle she was holding back on the vanity with a dull thunk . ‘I - you didn’t upset me. I was…’ she trailed off, her face twisted as if she was in pain. ‘...Practicing.’

‘Practicing?’ spluttered Elphaba, at a loss. ‘What do you mean, practicing ?’

‘For the amateur dramatics society that I intend to join,’ Galinda said, without missing a beat. ‘Shiz University has a very well-established reputation in that field - not that you’d know, since you just stumbled onto campus like some lost runt of the litter.’

‘Galinda, you are aware that I’m not braindead, right?’

‘Huh?’

Elphaba nearly slapped her own forehead in vexation. ‘You weren’t practicing fake crying for the bloody Dramatics Society, for goodness sake! And Oz, even if you were, why would you do it in the public bathrooms? I know you hate them.’

‘I - why would you - have you been stalking me?’ Galinda stammered.

‘Don’t be ridiculous. Anyone with eyes can see that you scurry off between classes. And, though it frequently seems to escape your notice, I do live here. I notice when you dash back and forth.’

‘Ew. Your obsession with me really knows no bounds.’

‘Oh, for goodness sake,’ Elphaba hissed, balling the hankie in her fist and cringing a little when she felt it squelch. ‘I was just trying to make sure you were alright, but I suppose I won’t bother in future. A word of advice, though…’ She marched forward and dropped the hankie on Galinda’s vanity. ‘You might want to work on choking back your sobs a little. You were being dreadfully loud.’

Galinda blinked at the handkerchief. Her lips were pressed in a thin line. 

‘I meant it when I said you can keep that,’ Elphaba muttered, pointing at it with a sharp jab in the air. ‘Seems like you need it more than I do.’

‘I’m going to burn it, thank you very much,’ Galinda spat. ‘I don’t use things without a very high threadcount.’

‘Oz, you really are an ungrateful snob, aren’t you?’ Elphaba said. ‘For a moment, I was fooled into thinking you were actually human , but I won’t make that mistake again.’

‘ Me ?’ Galinda snorted, getting to her feet. ‘ I’m not human? Have you looked in a mirror lately, Elphaba? In case it escaped your notice, you’re literally green !’

‘And that makes me - what - subhuman?’

‘It certainly makes you something , yes,’ Galinda snarled. ‘Repulsive. Peculiar. Malformed.’

Elphaba felt her face grow hot with anger, magic bubbling just under the surface of her skin. She clenched her fists, trying to hold it back. ‘Don’t call me that. Just because I look a little different, it - it doesn’t mean I’m malformed .’

Galinda smirked, realising she’d hit a nerve. ‘No? What does it make you then, Miss Elphaba? Because in my eyes, your grotesque appearance is something that desperately needs to be fixed. Won’t you think of other people for a change, and how unpleasant it is for us to have to look at you?’

Elphaba’s nails dug into her palms, and she expelled a shaky breath. ‘If I’m such a horror, why are you constantly staring at me? Don’t think I can’t feel your eyes on me.’

‘Don’t flatter yourself,’ Galinda drawled, leaning back on her vanity. ‘The only reason you’ll catch me looking at you is because I’m trying to ascertain who let you outside. The decent thing would be to lock you up and throw away the key.’

Before she even realised she had done it, Elphaba’s control snapped like a fishing wire. She had heard those words so many times before - from the cruel children back in Munchkinland, jeering at her as they chased her through the poppy fields; from the political advisers that swarmed her father’s estate, telling him to keep that girl out of sight, lest she ruin the chances of re-election ; and even from her father herself, who would sneer when he looked at her, wondering how she could’ve come from him . She should’ve gotten used to it by now. But it hurt every single time. 

Magic burst out of her in a whip of frustration and caught several of the bottles Galinda kept on her vanity - perfumes and creams and serums - and sent them flying. They smashed against the floor in spectacular fashion, scattering bits of glass and liquid, and Elphaba let out a strangled gasp. She closed her eyes, willing herself to hold back , her whole body taut and tense, and the magic vanished as quickly as it appeared. Panting, she pressed the heel of her palm to her forehead, heat burning behind her eyes, hands shaking. 

‘... Shit ,’ she whispered, more to herself than to Galinda. She thought, given the handful of classes she’d had under Morrible, she might’ve started to gain some semblance of control. But Galinda, it seemed, knew just which buttons to press. Swallowing, Elphaba brought her gaze up to Galinda, opening her mouth to apologise, but immediately noticed something was amiss. 

‘I - Galinda, are you okay? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean -’ Elphaba cut herself off, staring as the girl in front of her started to crumble.

Galinda was shaking, her hands clasped over her ears, and her eyes seemed to be locked onto something very far away. Elphaba glanced over her shoulder, as if expecting to see a blood thirsty creature on the approach given Galinda’s expression, but there was nothing. She turned back, wide-eyed, and watched in horror as Galinda let out a tight, whimpering gasp. 

‘Oz, Galinda, I’m really sorry,’ Elphaba said quickly, not knowing what to do. ‘I wasn’t going to hurt you. I just - sometimes I lose my cool and things go flying. I didn’t mean to. I promise.’

But Galinda wasn’t listening. Her breaths were coming shorter and faster, her chest rising and falling so quickly that Elphaba could hardly keep up, and small, panicked wheezes spluttered from her lips. Elphaba stared at her. She sounded like she couldn’t breathe. 

‘...Um, should I - should I get someone?’ she whispered, totally at a loss. The frantic shake of her blonde head seemed to suggest no, that was a terrible idea. ‘Okay, okay. I - can you try and breathe for me, Galinda? Just - you sound like you can’t and it’s starting to freak me out.’

Galinda let out a tiny sob, her eyes filling with tears. She dropped her hands from her ears and buried her face in them instead. Great. This isn’t going well at all, Elphaba gulped, feeling a nasty combination of guilt and worry. 

‘It’s okay,’ she said, edging closer. Tentatively, as if was dealing with a wild animal, she put a hand on Galinda’s shoulder. The girl flinched at the touch but didn’t move away, which Elphaba took as a positive. ‘Can you look at me? Please.’

With considerable effort, Galinda lifted her head from her hands, but didn’t look at her. ‘G-Go away .’

‘What?’

‘ Go away! ’ Galinda shouted, her voice hoarse and thick with tears. Elphaba started backwards in shock. She’d never heard Galinda raise her voice like that, even when they’d been arguing all day. Her lips parted. Galinda clutched at the front of her robe, struggling through a breath, squeezing her eyes shut.

Now, Elphaba knew the path of least resistance would be to leave Galinda to whatever the heck she was dealing with, and retreat to the sanctuary of the bathroom - or better yet, the library. But as she watched the girl trembling against the vanity, unable to breathe properly and looking genuinely terrified, she realised she couldn’t. Just as in the lavatory earlier, her good heart struck again. And she stayed. 

‘I’m not going anywhere while you’re so upset,’ she said firmly. She put both of her hands on Galinda’s shoulders. ‘Look at me.’

‘Elphaba, will you just - just go ,’ Galinda choked out, her head bowed. 

‘ Look at me .’

Galinda did as she was told, lower lip trembling. Her eyes were red and wet. 

‘Good,’ Elphaba said softly. ‘Now, I want you to try and follow my breathing with me, okay? It’ll help you feel better.’

With a whimper, Galinda nodded. Elphaba gave her a small smile and breathed in slowly through her nostrils for five seconds, and out for another five. Galinda followed along as best she could, but a breath got stuck in her throat, and spluttered, her eyes widening.

‘I - I c-can’t, I can’t -’

‘- You can,’ soothed Elphaba. ‘It’s alright.’

‘N-no, it’s not like last time, I - I actually can’t breathe, I can’t breathe -’

Elphaba then did something she’d never done before. She dropped her hands from Galinda’s shoulders, and instead laced their fingers together. Galinda froze, staring down at her lap, at the green, and she let out a shuddering, retching breath. It sounded almost painful.

‘Keep breathing with me,’ Elphaba encouraged, rubbing small circles over the backs of Galinda’s hands with her thumbs. ‘Slow, steady, and calm.’

In a way, breathing along with Galinda was also calming Elphaba down. While she did her best not to show it, she could feel her heart hammering in her chest. She was aware that her palms were slick with sweat, but Galinda’s were, too, so she hoped the girl wouldn’t notice. 

‘You’re doing perfectly,’ she murmured, watching as Galinda’s breathing started to settle. Her body spasmed now and again with residual sobs, shoulders flinching and hands squeezing, and each time she did, Elphaba felt worse . She didn’t mean to frighten her. Was she actually afraid of her?

Biting her lip, Elphaba looked around at the mess of glass. That was the second time she’d manage to break something in the suite - the first being the balcony window. She frowned. Come to think of it, Galinda acted weirdly after that, too. She really must be freaked out by my magic . But of course, there was the incident today , when she had been crying for some undisclosed reason after Dillamond’s class, which was what had started the current altercation in the first place. What is with her?

Elphaba glanced up when Galinda withdrew her hands to wipe at her eyes, her breath stuttering. She seemed to have calmed down. 

‘... Sorry .’

She said it so quietly, Elphaba thought she might’ve imagined it. She swallowed, realising it was the first time she’d heard the girl actually say that. Oddly enough, it didn’t feel particularly good to hear it.

‘I’m the one who should be apologising,’ replied Elphaba, as Galinda wrung her hands together, not looking at her. ‘I’ll - I’ll replace everything I broke, of course, though you’ll have to tell me what exactly they are. And…’ she let out a long sigh, wishing Galinda would stop shaking so much. ‘...I’m sorry for scaring you. Really. I’d never want to make you feel that way.’

Galinda let out a small gasp, eyes snapping up. Her eyelashes were stuck together with stray tears. ‘Oh, Elphaba - you didn’t.’

‘Then why…?’

‘It’s -’ Galinda seemed to struggle with herself for a moment. ‘ - Oz, it doesn’t matter. I just, um, wasn’t expecting it. But you didn’t scare me. Please don’t carry that around with you.’

Elphaba didn’t believe her. Why else would she react like that? ‘...Okay. I - I’ll go and fetch a broom to clear up all the glass. That’s the second time today.’

‘What?’

‘After Dillamond’s class,’ Elphaba said, moving away from the vanity, ‘I stayed behind and helped him clear up the broken vase. That’s how this happened.’ She held up her bandaged finger with a bashful smile. 

‘R-Right,’ Galinda mumbled. She had drawn her arms around herself and was squeezing her midriff as if in an embrace. ‘Um…Well, that was nice of you, I guess.’

‘Contrary to popular belief, I am pretty nice.’

‘Yes. Er - thanks. For the hankie. And for…for staying.’ She said the last part with obvious difficulty, her face turning pink. Elphaba quickly realised she was feeling embarrassed.

‘It’s okay, honestly,’ she said, waving a hand in the air. ‘Now, I’ll go and fetch that broom. Be careful if you’re going to be moving around, alright? There are bits of glass everywhere.’

‘Okay, yes. Right.’

With another awkward look at the tearful blonde, Elphaba spun on her heels and hastened from the suite. She wanted to give Galinda a moment alone to collect herself, and went to hunt for a broom. 

*

Later, as the girls lay in silence, Galinda couldn’t sleep . And it wasn’t just because of her confusing cocktail of thoughts that seemed to pool and whirl around Elphaba - well, it was , but it was for a different reason this time around. Biting her lip, Galinda drummed her fingers against her hand, arms folded above the duvet, eyes open in the darkness. 

Elphaba had been genuinely worried that she’d scared her, and Galinda, much to her frustration, could not stop thinking about it. She let out a large sigh, not caring how loud she was being - she knew her roommate was stewing the shadows, too, since she kept tossing and turning. Galinda, as much as she refused to admit it to herself, didn’t want Elphaba to worry. She didn’t want her to feel the need to walk on eggshells around her, as if concerned she might startle her. She didn’t want her to think she was…fragile. Closing her eyes, Galinda felt her face redden. She couldn’t believe she’d let herself lose control like that. Twice in one day, no less. It was indeed just a string of unfortunate circumstances, but still, the embarrassment of it all made her body burn. She wasn’t supposed to slip up in such a manner. Not anymore. That was what she’d promised herself when she came to Shiz. 

Galinda’s mother, Larena, referred to the wretched episodes as ‘meltdowns’. Galinda hated the word, but she didn’t know what else to call them. They made her eyesight blur, her palms sweat, her chest tighten, and her mind freeze up. And despite her best efforts, she often couldn’t help it when something wrong happened. It wasn’t as if she did it on purpose. She didn’t want to get so worked up - and her parents certainly didn’t want her to, either. They would hiss at her to stop it , and when she couldn’t, their voices would raise and bounce off the walls until she could do nothing but wheeze and cower, waiting for the panic to work its way out of her system, often alone. Her parents didn’t care to see her in such a state, and she quickly learnt that it was shameful and unbecoming to panic in such a visceral way. So, she would find somewhere to shut herself away, letting it shatter through her system until she had the wherewithal to actually suck a breath into her lungs.

She knew what caused them, by now. It wasn’t as if they simply appeared one day. And it wasn’t as if she thought it was normal , but who could she even talk about it with? Shenshen and Pfannee were her friends, that much was true, but it was surface level at best. Besides, surely she’d just be laughed out of the room if she tried to explain that she couldn’t handle it when - she shook her head against the pillows, gritting her teeth together. Stupid, stupid, stupid. 

Rolling over onto her side, Galinda bundled her duvet to her chest and cuddled it. She missed home, sometimes. It had only been a week, but she thought she would’ve scrubbed out the childish yearning for her bed, her blankets, the sounds of the manor settling down for sleep. She wondered if Elphaba missed home, too. We’re just two girls, really, away from our families for the first time. The nasty wiggle of guilt she’d been feeling lately reared its ugly head again as she thought about how cruel she had been earlier. She’d said some horrible things. She’d made Elphaba lose her temper - and Elphaba ended up being the one to feel terrible about it. She does need to get a handle on her magic, but really, she had no reason to stay with me after everything I said…

Galinda didn’t really know what provoked her to do it - sleep deprivation, guilt, a desperation to make sure Elphaba didn’t feel responsible for what happened, or a combination of all three - but before she knew what she was doing, she cleared her throat in the darkness. It was easier, in a way, to speak when Elphaba couldn’t actually see her. 

‘Um…Are you still awake?’ she said. Her voice sounded too loud in the quiet of the night.

‘Yes,’ came Elphaba’s voice. ‘Are you okay?’

Galinda nodded, but then realised Elphaba couldn’t see her. ‘Er, yeah. I’m fine. I just…can’t sleep.’

‘You and me both.’

There was a strained silence as Galinda toyed with what she wanted to say. ‘I…I was thinking about earlier. I just wanted to - to make sure that you were okay, Elphaba. We didn’t really speak after you came back, and I -’ she cut herself off, worried she was rambling. Her mother always told her off for ‘babbling’, as she called it. 

‘Why wouldn’t I be okay?’ said Elphaba, sounding genuinely confused. ‘I’m not the one who…’

‘Because I really don’t want you thinking that you scared me, okay?’ 

There was a long pause. Galinda snuggled the duvet against her even more, squeezing her eyes shut. Oz, say something, you horrid green thing!

‘Then what did scare you, Galinda?’

Anything but that . ‘Um…It’s not - it isn’t important. I just - I know I tease you about being a bit of a freak or whatever, but I don’t - er - I’m not afraid of you. And I’d really hate it if you thought I was.’

‘Right,’ muttered Elphaba. ‘And why is that? Because you’re worried I’ll think you a coward?’

‘No, because I’m worried you’ll think of yourself as someone to be feared.’

‘...What?’ Elphaba’s voice was so quiet that Galinda’s ears strained to hear her. She fiddled with the frilled hem of her duvet.

‘I suppose that it would be a terribly burdensome thing,’ said Galinda softly, ‘to believe others are frightened of you. Especially when you’re…evidently quite kind.’ The quiet stretched on. ‘...Um, Elphaba? Are you still there?’

‘I’m still here.’

‘Did you hear what I said?’

‘Yeah. Just…thinking about it, I guess.’

‘Right.’

They lie in silence for what felt like a lifetime for Galinda, until Elphaba started to talk. Really talk.

‘I do appreciate you saying that, Galinda,’ she murmured. ‘You’ve no idea how many times I’ve been called…well, a monster . You get told that just once, and it sticks. Not to mention how many people recoil when they see me, or Oz forbid if I try to touch them.’ Galinda heard her swallow thickly. ‘I remember when I…When I was little, a balloon maker visited my hometown. All the kids were so excited - me included - and he made balloon animals for everyone who had gathered to watch him. He even gave me one, which was a surprise. I was so happy. I didn’t - er - I didn’t often get gifts.’ She paused, sniffing, and Galinda’s chest tightened. ‘A-Anyway, I wanted to show him how pleased I was, so I tried to hug him, and…’ she trailed off, and Galinda filled in the blanks. ‘Let’s just say I ended up in the dirt. I was a child, and a fully grown man thought I - I was some sort of beast. He looked scared of me. And earlier, when you started to panic so much, I just thought that I’d…that I’d frightened you.’

Galinda pressed her lips together, unable to bear the image of a tiny Elphaba being shoved aside when she just wanted a hug . ‘...Elphaba, I promise you, it wasn’t. I know you wouldn’t hurt me. Oz, you wouldn’t hurt a fly, as far as I can tell. Not many people would offer a hankie to a stranger in the bathroom, or stay behind and help a teacher clean up a broken vase.’

Elphaba chuckled quietly. ‘I suppose that’s true. And if you don’t mind me asking…What had you so upset?’

Galinda swallowed. ‘Which time?’

‘Both, I suppose.’

‘Um…You’ll think it’s stupid,’ she mumbled, burying her face into her duvet. 

‘If it upsets you, it’s not stupid.’

Galinda’s breath caught in her throat. No one had said that to her before. She was brought up to believe her tears were foolish, histrionic, improper . She thought about all the times she’d curled up in her bed and cried all night, stuffing her mouth with her blanket so no one would hear her. The nights at boarding school where the other girls in her dorm thought there was a ghost - nicknamed The Whimpering Lady - because she had to hold everything back until she got to her room. Her mother’s raised voice. Her father’s short fuse. And the -

‘ - It’s the glass,’ she whispered, almost without meaning to say it at all.

‘What do you mean?’

‘The glass, it’s - the sound of it breaking.’

She heard Elphaba suck in a breath and pictured the lightbulb flickering above her head. ‘So…that first day, when I broke the balcony window and you clammed up…’

‘Yes.’

‘And today, when Dr Dillamond broke his vase? You got upset and went to the bathroom?’

‘Yes.’

‘And this evening -’

‘Oz, yes , Elphaba, how many times do I have to say it?’ Galinda hissed, a flash of shame making her ears burn. 

‘Right, sorry. Sorry.’ She heard Elphaba gulp. ‘Um…Can I ask why?’

Galinda nearly told her to mind her own business, but she caught herself at the last moment. Elphaba had been kind. She’d stayed with her. She’d calmed her down. No one had done that for her since she was a very young child, when tears and meltdowns were acceptable. She swallowed down her fear. 

‘It’s…Popsicle.’

‘Popsicle?’

‘My father,’ Galinda mumbled. ‘And before you get the wrong idea, he’s truly wonderful and caring and kind, but he - he can get a bit stressed sometimes. His way of dealing with that is to…Well, he smashes stuff. If you catch him at the wrong time, he’ll - he’ll throw things. Not at anyone, of course, just…in the general vicinity.’

‘Oh.’ 

‘Yeah.’ Galinda paused, gathering herself as she felt her eyes growing hot. ‘I suppose I just - well, that’s what scares me, Elphaba. A-And when I hear it happening, I feel like I’m stuck in his office, watching him break the crystalwear, wondering if one of the champagne flutes is going to stray off course and -’ she stopped herself from talking. She didn’t want to think about that. Objectively, she knew her father never hurt her, but watching him turn puce and having to stand there as he yelled and raged and smashed frightened her more than she ever let on. She didn’t even realise it had become an issue until one of their dinner guests dropped his wine glass when she was ten - her first ‘grown-up’ function, when was allowed to stay up late and sample the canapés - and she had to banish herself to her room as a deep panic grabbed hold of her senses. And she tried . She tried to tell her mind that she wasn’t in any danger, that she never was, because her father loved her, because he would lift her up and spin her around in his arms, because he would buy her lavish gifts from his business trips, because he would kiss her forehead and call her his pumpkin . She didn’t need to be scared.

But she couldn’t help it.

‘Um…You realise that isn’t okay, right?’

Galinda blinked in the darkness. ‘Huh?’

‘To grow up and witness that sort of behaviour isn’t okay, Galinda,’ Elphaba said. Her voice was firm and resolute. ‘I’m sorry that happened. It’s no wonder you get scared.’

‘Don’t patronise me,’ Galinda spat.

‘I’m not,’ said Elphaba patiently. ‘I really mean it.’

‘...Really?’

‘Oz, Galinda, of course. Breaking glass makes anyone jump, you know, let alone when you associate it with such anger. I…I’ll make sure not to lose control and break anything else, okay?’

Galinda's eyes grew hotter still. ‘...You don’t have to -’

‘ - Of course I do. Of course I do.’

Her words settled in the darkness of the room, and Galinda felt her throat constrict. She didn’t quite know what she’d been expecting - laughter, scorn, disbelief, being told she was dramatic or silly for getting so worked up - but Elphaba, once again, had surprised her. She’d met her fear with kindness and understanding. Galinda hadn’t seen that coming.

‘Um…thank you, Elphaba,’ she mumbled.

‘You don’t need to thank me. But I’m glad you told me,’ came Elphaba’s voice. 

‘Me too. I think.’

‘Good.’

‘...Yeah, good.’

It was awkward. It was strained. Galinda’s face burned, and Elphaba’s voice wavered. But it was a start. 

Chapter Text

Chapter Two: Stains

Somewhat foolishly, perhaps, Elphaba thought she and Galinda might’ve reached a truce following the broken glass debacle. But the following morning, Galinda behaved as if it had never happened - as if she hadn’t shared something incredibly personal with Elphaba, as if she hadn’t gone out of her way to make certain Elphaba knew she wasn’t afraid of her, and as if she hadn’t had a full blown panic attack in front of her. 

No, Galinda acted as normal. And ‘normal’, at least in Elphaba’s eyes, was another phrase for being exceedingly insufferable. She stormed around the suite in her usual fashion - that being noisily and obnoxiously - and had fired out a total of four insults surrounding Elphaba’s fashion choices before she’d even finished putting on her makeup. Elphaba didn’t rise to the bait. She was trying to give Galinda the benefit of the doubt, deciding she must’ve been feeling embarrassed and vulnerable from their late-night chat, and was acting extra abrasive because of it. 

By breakfast, though, Elphaba had run out of patience. 

‘Do you think she has to eat so much to fuel her swotty nature, or does being a slimy little know-it-all come naturally to her?’ Galinda said loudly, just as Elphaba was strolling by her table with her morning mountain of cereal. Granted, it was arguably a large portion, but she was hungry. And so what?! The surrounding students burst into a grating symphony of laughter, and Elphaba froze, her grip around her tray tightening. 

‘I mean,’ drawled Galinda, waving a manicured hand in the air, ‘surely that’s enough food to feed a family of five.’

‘It’s called brain food, Galinda,’ Elphaba muttered. ‘You should try it sometime. Might help with your grades.’

‘ Oooh ,’ whistled Shenshen in amusement, unable to help herself. The smile slid off Galinda's face and practically landed in her cup of tea. 

‘Well - I - I’d rather have a good reputation than be such an insufferable nerd!’ she shot back, but it was lacking its usual bite and impact. Only a couple of her friends laughed, then, and she went pink. 

‘Mmm, reputation . I’m sure that will get you far in life,’ Elphaba smirked. ‘And you know, instead of worrying about my breakfast, you ought to think about your own - not sure if anyone’s told you this, Galinda, but half a spoonful of yoghurt doesn’t constitute a meal.’

‘And you don’t constitute a - a -’ she struggled with herself, her eyebrows knitting together in a rather endearing way - huh? What? Why in Oz would I think that? If anything, they’re too theatrical!

‘ - Take your time,’ Elphaba said, rolling her eyes. ‘It’s not like my cereal is getting soggy or anything.’

‘Oh, go away, you horrid green thing!’ she snapped, practically stamping her foot under the table. 

‘With pleasure. Have a wonderful morning,’ said Elphaba, in a voice so thick with sarcasm that Galinda seemed to shudder in her seat. 

Oddly enough, though, leaving Galinda to stew with her friends to unpack their latest altercation - ‘ You did see that disgustingly huge portion she had, right? Right?! Galinda squeaked frantically in the distance - didn’t feel as good as it used to. Elphaba let out a sigh as she sat down, alone, and wondered if the Galinda she’d spoken to last night had somehow been kidnapped and replaced by an extra mean clone. As much as she wanted to fight back with her usual vigor, Elphaba couldn’t help but look at her and see the snivelling mess she’d been, trembling against the vanity and unable to suck in a breath. Glancing over her shoulder, she eyed Galinda, who was rather forlornly spooning some of the yoghurt into her mouth. She looks tired. I suppose panic attacks really take it out of you. 

Elphaba hadn’t slept much better herself. After they’d finished talking - or rather, Galinda noisily turned over in an attempt to show that the conversation was very much over - Elphaba had kept her eyes open, nibbling her lower lip. She couldn’t stop thinking about it. She also couldn’t believe she’d told her arch nemesis about the balloon maker. It wasn’t a memory Elphaba much liked to remember, for obvious reasons, but it had slipped out before she could help herself. It might’ve been the time of night, or the darkness of the suite, or even an attempt to make Galinda feel less vulnerable, but she hadn’t meant to. She’d learnt to keep her painful memories clasped tightly in her fist, no matter how much they might’ve burned. And she had a suspicion that Galinda had picked up a similar habit. How strange, she thought glumly, that we managed to coax it out of each other. 

*

Galinda was fuming . 

The exchange at breakfast aside, she was quite certain she’d never hated her roommate more. How dare she swan about the place and act like nothing happened?! Muttering under her breath, Galinda popped a strawberry in her mouth. They were out of season and a little sour, but she swallowed it down without complaint. Pfannee had brought them especially, after all, and she wasn’t about to quite literally spit them back in his face. 

She, Pfannee, Shenshen and Milla were lounging in the sunroom between classes under the guise of a ‘study session’ - which, really, was code for sitting around and sharing snacks. Shenshen was least trying to work, and had been dutifully thumbing through a tortuous-looking Astronomy textbook for the better part of half an hour. Pfannee hadn’t flipped open his notebook, and as far as Galinda could see, Milla didn’t even have her bag with her. Studying indeed , she smirked, taking another strawberry. For her part, she had a History book open on the sofa next to her, but hadn’t yet turned a page. 

‘I’ll tell you what,’ Milla said, through a mouthful of onion-smelling crackers that Galinda had turned her nose up at for fear of developing bad breath, ‘my mother was all university is extremely strict this, and very hard work that, but I swear this,’ - she gestured around the room, where most of sofas and chairs were occupied by chattering students - ‘is way more laid back than school. I mean, they quite literally don’t care what we do between classes as long as we show up.’

‘Even showing up isn’t wholly necessary,’ Pfannee grinned. ‘I skipped out on a lecture the other day and no one batted an eye. It was great!’

‘Great?’ spluttered Shenshen. ‘Pfan, you did nothing but cower in the north wing stationery cupboard because you were so worried about getting caught.’

‘That - that is a completely inaccurate depiction of what happened!’ Pfannee said, his mouth falling open in outrage.

‘Of course, of course. I forgot to add that you were crying the whole time.’

Galinda giggled behind her hand when Pfannee launched a cracker at Shenshen’s head. She counted herself lucky to have formed a firm group of friends in her first week, even if they might not have been that close. It was important to her to have people to waste time with, to follow her around and fawn over her. Once upon a time - though she would never admit it - she found it hard to make friends. She spent most of her first year at boarding school, when she was eleven, wandering the corridors and trying desperately to insert herself into conversations she evidently wasn’t welcome in. It took her a couple of years - and firm instructions from her socialite mother - to learn that nonchalance and dressing well would attract people, and by the time she was sixteen, she had the entire student populace eating out of the palm of her hand. But she never forgot the feeling of being unwanted by the girls her own age, of enduring their catty comments and fighting back tears in the mess hall when they refused to sit with her. It wasn’t exactly something she wanted to remember. 

I wonder why I give Elphaba a hard time, then, if I know what it’s like?

Galinda flinched in her seat, nearly choking on her strawberry. No, no! That’s different! Elphaba deserves it for being such a weirdo! 

‘You okay, Galinda?’ said Milla, frowning as she fought back a coughing fit.

Galinda shot her a strained smile. ‘Y-Yeah! Just went down the wrong way, that’s all.’

‘You’re making quick work of them,’ Pfannee piped up. ‘I should’ve bought another punnet from the tuck shop!’

Galinda froze, about to bite into another one, and her eyes flitted to him in surprise. ‘Oh! Sorry. I just - I thought you brought them to share. I didn’t realise - you should’ve said -’ she went to put the strawberry back, but Pfannee waved his hands in the air quickly. 

‘No, no! Don’t be silly. That’s not what I meant,’ he said. ‘Have as many as you like. Though Milla -’ he poked her on the knee, rolling his eyes, ‘ - you could calm down on those crackers. It’s like sitting next to a donkey with you munching away like that. Save some for me, won’t you?’

‘Well excuse me for having a healthy appetite,’ she said, thrusting her nose in the air. 

‘Leave her alone, Pfan,’ said Shenshen. And, as if to make a point, she stretched across Galinda and grabbed a fistful of the crackers, practically slamming them into her mouth. ‘ Mmmh! These are delicious! ’

Catching on, Milla grinned and followed suit, cramming a huge handful of crackers into her mouth, too. ‘ Mmmhmm! The best! ’ She sprayed crumbs when she spoke. ‘ You’re totally missing out, Pfannee. ’

‘Hey!’ he squawked, trying to reach over and snatch the bowl away from Milla, but she was too quick. ‘Oh, come on - this isn’t fair ! I’m the one who bought all of these in the first place!’

‘You snooze, you lose,’ Shenshen shrugged, dusting her hands free of cracker crumbs and returning to her book. ‘And anyway, if memory serves, it was actually your turn to buy them.’

‘That doesn’t mean I can’t have any, though!’

‘If you stopped yapping and started snacking, you wouldn’t be having this problem,’ said Milla, cradling the bowl to her chest as if it was her firstborn.

‘The problem is that you’re hogging them!’

‘I’m not hogging the fruit.’

‘But fruit is boring.’

Galinda rolled her eyes affectionately as Pfannee and Milla continued to bicker, and swallowed down the strawberry she’d been carefully chewing. When she was younger and bored during mealtimes at school - namely because, as she had already ruminated, nobody sat with her for the first year of her being there - she would count the number of chews before she swallowed. For a while, she would have to chew everything at least twenty times, otherwise something terrible would happen. That often resulted in her being the last one in the mess hall, to the point when she became quite friendly with one of the kindly, round-faced dinnerladies, Agneta. She would clean up around Galinda and her little table, sweeping up crusts and mopping up spills, making easy conversation. She would sometimes slip her hardboiled sweets, and when she laughed at Galinda’s clumsy jokes, it sounded like water bubbling on an open fire. 

A couple of years later, when students would quite literally fight over who got to sit at her table, Galinda would loudly comment on how unfortunate Agneta’s hairstyle was, and whether she realised that her eyebrows would look so much better if only she learnt to pluck them. The students would laugh, and Galinda basked in it, though she’d be lying if she said she didn’t miss the taste of the boiled sweets and the gentle bubble of Agneta’s cheerful chuckle. 

By the time she left for Shiz, Agneta would not look her in the eye.

Distractedly, Galinda reached for another strawberry. She wasn’t entirely sure why she was eating them - they’d not long had breakfast - but something about the repetitive motion and the soft red flesh was soothing her. The burst of slightly sour flavour, the texture on her tongue, the juice that caught on her lips - it was all a welcome diversion from her winding and increasingly confusing feelings about Elphaba Thropp . 

Objectively speaking, Galinda knew that she and Elphaba wouldn’t get on from the moment they met. Elphaba was prickly, sarcastic, and oozed a confidence that Galinda guessed had almost been forced upon her - after all, being so different meant Elphaba didn’t have much of a choice but to own it. Galinda, meanwhile, was hyper-aware of everything that she did. Every movement was considered, every gesture rehearsed, every sentence prepared. Sometimes, she felt like she fit to burst from all the performative measures she had bubbling under the surface. Of course, to the onlooker, it appeared effortless. But Galinda Upland was not a natural. 

In any case, Elphaba’s attitude became clear from the moment she decided to correct Galinda’s grammar - in front of everyone, the stupid old sprout! - and then, perhaps without meaning to, she had the audacity to steal Galinda’s spot in Madame Morrible’s seminar. As if to rub salt into the wound, she was then shoved into Galinda’s suite without a second thought - or a single word of protest. It clearly didn’t matter to Elphaba or Morrible that Galinda had specified her own private space, that she needed somewhere to come down from the aggravating performance of her day-to-day life, that she needed a place to retreat if she ever got overwhelmed like the previous night. She didn’t want to have a meltdown in front of Elphaba. But it was all her fault in the first place, come to think of it , Galinda pouted to herself. If she had some semblance of control, I wouldn’t have - she gritted her teeth together, not wanting to dwell on it. She was bothered by what happened, of course, but worse still, Elphaba had been so lovely about it. If anything, Galinda would’ve preferred her to adopt her mother’s attitude - that being a swift, stinging slap across the face to ‘snap her out of it’, followed by a blunt dismissal to her bedroom when Galinda failed to calm down. But Elphaba had stayed. Elphaba had helped her breathe through it. And Elphaba had managed to coax a confession from her without even trying. Curse that girl! She has no right to be kind to me!

‘Oz, what did that strawberry ever do to you?’ Pfannee snorted.

Galinda snapped out of her thoughts and blinked at him, confused. ‘Huh?’

‘You’re crushing it like it personally offended you, Galinda,’ he said with a smirk, pointing at her closed fist. 

Galinda looked down in surprise and found that yes, she was indeed crushing the strawberry in her hand. She hadn’t even realised. She let out a squeak, fumbling for a hankie - which only made her think about how Elphaba had given her one in the bathroom - and she quickly realised that she was far too late. Juice had run down between her knuckles and dripped all over the soft, grey marl of her skirt. Shit.

‘Here,’ Shenshen said, offering her a tissue, and Galinda took it gratefully, dumping the ruined strawberry pulp and wrapped it up. Her hands were sticky and her skirt was stained. No, no, no . She wrung her palms together, wincing at the feeling of the cloggy residue smeared on her fingers, and stared down at the mess she’d made. 

‘What’s the matter?’ Shenshen frowned, watching as Galinda’s whole body seemed to seize up. 

‘Did you see a bug?’ Milla gasped, before immediately rounding on Pfannee. ‘I told you that we should’ve washed them first! Everyone knows that fresh fruit is a breeding ground for - ugh - disgusting little critters! I once nearly ate a caterpillar that was hiding in a punnet of blueberries, you know!’

‘Ah, extra protein,’ Pfannee grinned. ‘Aren’t you lucky?’

‘I didn’t actually eat it, I said I nearly did!’

Galinda stood abruptly, feeling her knees trembling. ‘I - I need to go and wash my hands. A-And change.’

‘Change?’ said Shenshen, raising an eyebrow. ‘Galinda, we’ve got Mathematics in like ten minutes. There’s no way you’ll have enough time to go back to your suite.’

Galinda’s hands were shaking. ‘N-No, it’s alright. I’ll be quick. I can’t wander around with a stain on my skirt.’

‘It doesn’t matter,’ Pfannee said airily. ‘It’s only a bit of strawberry juice. Not like it’s a major issue.’

‘And knowing you, you’d somehow make it work,’ Milla sighed, an undertone of jealousy in her tone. ‘I mean, if you go around with that on your skirt, I bet that everyone will be doing the same Oz-damned thing by the end of the day!’

Their laughter was grating to Galinda at that present moment. They didn’t understand . They didn’t understand that she couldn’t make stains work, no matter who she was. They didn’t understand that she couldn’t be caught in such a disgusting, dishevelled state, because what if someone saw her? What if someone told ? What if word somehow got back home to Frottica, to her mother’s critical ears, triggering a barrage of verbal lashings that Galinda couldn’t endure, not now, not when she had worked so hard to be presentable and make certain she would never embarrass her parents, even if she wasn’t a natural, even if she -

‘ - I won’t be long,’ she said, hating how much her voice wavered. ‘If I’m late, just - just say I broke a heel, or something.’

Shenshen expelled a low whistle. ‘Suit yourself, I guess, but Professor Treadgold isn’t exactly known for her forgiving nature. And you - well, you’re not exactly her favourite student, are you?’

Milla and Pfannee giggled at that, and Galinda’s cheeks burned . She had rather hoped her penchant for failing miserably in class would somehow be disguised if she pretended she didn’t care, but Treadgold had a nasty habit of picking on her when she thought she wasn’t paying attention. Such incidents often led to Galinda fumbling through an answer she knew was wrong, eyes silently begging Treadgold to take pity on her and simply give her the answer, until she was left red-faced and squirming in her seat. Then Elphaba, of course, would stick her hand in the air and show off how smart she was. 

‘Then she won’t care if I’m late, will she?’ Galinda said, through gritted teeth. ‘I’ll see you in class.’

Trying her best not to look like a newborn foal, Galinda wobbled her way to the exit. She weighed up her options as she did so, feeling eyes watching her from all sides, and decided she would do her best to get the worst of the stains out before venturing further across campus to the suite. The less people see me, the better , she thought, chewing her lower lip. The caveat with being exceptionally popular - made even more impressive by the fact she’d only been on campus for a week - was that people often watched when she entered the room. So, when she stumbled out of the sun room and into the corridor, idle heads snapped her way, smiling and waving as they always did as if they knew her, and Galinda smiled back. She prayed eyes would stray downwards to her skirt.

The bathroom was, mercifully, pretty empty. A couple of the stalls were occupied, but Galinda went straight to one of the sinks on the far side of the room, hoping she wouldn’t be noticed, and sweating hands met the porcelain with a dull slap . Breathing steadily through her nose, Galinda gripped at the sides of the sink. She glanced at her reflection and recoiled at the tight, pale face that stared back, and started to run the tap. Grabbing a wad of paper towels, she wetted them with the cool water, and started to try and amend the damage.

The students in the stalls did their business and left without too much bother, and as they did, Galinda scrubbed at her skirt. She pressed and rubbed and muttered furiously under her breath, but the stains didn’t lift , no matter how much she scoured, and little clumps from the rapidly disintegrating paper towels started to attach themselves to the fibres of her skirt. Her breath quickening, Galinda gave up on the towels and settled for cupping the water and sloshing it over the stains instead. It didn’t help.

‘No, no, no ,’ she whispered, bundling the skirt further up her thighs - praying no one walked in - and massaged the folds of the skirt together, hoping the friction of the fabric would do a better job than the paper towels. All that achieved was making the stain larger , if a little lighter in colour, but she couldn’t tell either way because the water was darkening the fabric in a rather alarming fashion. This isn’t working. This isn’t working and everyone will see and I’ve managed to ruin something I like because I’m so clumsy and useless and stupid and -

She sucked in a breath, her neck growing hot.

‘Calm down,’ she murmured to herself. ‘Calm down, calm down.’

She could still fix it. She would wait until the wet stain on her skirt had dried out a little, scurry back to her suite - taking the long way around to limit the chances of her being spotted - change into something else, and race to her Mathematics seminar. It didn’t matter if she was late. She would rather that than showing up looking like such a mess. 

Steadily, Galinda made a conscious effort to lower her shoulders, uncurl her tightened fists around her skirt, and let out a long, measured breath. It’s okay. It’s going to be fine. Glancing down at her feet, she realised she’d managed to soak the floor with spilled water, and as she was bending down to clean it up with some more paper towels, her eyes connected with a pair of clunky, hideous black shoes. 

Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me! Not now! Why does the universe hate me so?!

‘...Um, Galinda?’ said Elphaba uncertainly. ‘What in Oz are you doing?’

Galinda shot up from her crouching position so quickly that she nearly whacked her head on underside of the sink. ‘E-Elphaba! What - why are you here?!’

‘Because I have normal bodily functions and need to use the bathroom?’ she said weakly, pointing vaguely to one of the empty stalls. Her eyes slowly took in what she saw - that being the sopping skirt and equally sopping floor beneath Galinda’s feet, and she made a very peculiar face. ‘Er - what -’ she cleared her throat, averting her eyes, ‘ - speaking of bodily functions, what happened to you?’

It took a moment for Galinda to realise what Elphaba meant, given what it must’ve looked like, and she went a violent shade of pink. ‘I - no - I didn’t - it’s just water ! I got a stain on my skirt, and I was trying to get it out!’

Elphaba’s shoulder visibly sagged in relief. ‘Well, that’s good. It looks…’ she gestured to the large wet spot on Galinda’s skirt, ‘...you know. Kind of incriminating.’

‘Elphaba, just who exactly do you think I am ?’ Galinda snapped, stamping her foot in the puddle of water. ‘I’m not five !’ 

‘Really?’ Elphaba blinked. ‘Could’ve fooled me, given your behaviour at breakfast this morning. I rather hoped we were over firing cheap shots.’

‘Whatever gave you that idea?’ Galinda muttered, bending down to resume mopping up the water. While she might’ve been raised in a fully-staffed estate, she was taught at a young age to ensure she kept a tidy space. When she asked her mother about it, she was told that leaving any mess for the staff to see gave a terrible impression. People talk, Galinda . You must never give them any ammunition. Privately, Galinda couldn’t see how leaving her teddy - a little pink penguin called Salmon, named for the colour - in the grand hallway constituted as ammunition, but she wasn’t really in a position to argue.

‘Well,’ said Elphaba, an edge to her tone, ‘I’d hoped that you might’ve finally formed a higher opinion of me, given you quite literally cried on me yesterday evening.’

Galinda paused in her mopping only to look up and glare at her. ‘That, if I might remind you, was all your fault in the first place.’

‘And I said I was sorry about a hundred times.’

‘Say it a hundred more, and I might refrain from commenting on your grotesque behavior.’

Elphaba threw her hands in the air in exasperation. ‘You know what? Fine. Fine. More fool me for thinking we might’ve reached a sense of empathy for each other, but I doubt you’re capable of such a thing.’ With that, she marched into a stall and slammed the door so hard that Galinda flinched. She let out a slow breath, resuming her task until the majority of the water had been cleaned from the floor. She hated to think of all the germs she’s managed to pick up, and was in the process of thoroughly washing her hands when Elphaba emerged a few minutes later. They didn’t look at each other as she stood at a nearby sink, washing her hands, too. Galinda caught her eye in the mirror by mistake, and hastily looked away. 

Oz, she thought to herself, drying her hands, why do I keep running into her in bathrooms? This is exactly why I don’t like using the public ones! Letting out another shaky breath, Galinda assessed the damage of her skirt, and she uttered a profanity so inappropriate, that Elphaba quite literally gasped. 

‘What could possibly inspire that sort of colourful language?’ she spluttered, drying off her hands. She didn’t seem particularly happy about engaging in conversation with Galinda again, but her curiosity clearly got the better of her.

‘It’s -’ Galinda choked on a tight breath, her hands balling the soaked fabric, ‘ - my skirt, I’ve - I’ve just made it worse. The stain is still there and it’s not going to dry in time so I’m going to be late for Treadgold which will only make her hate me more and -’

‘ - Oz, slow down for a second,’ Elphaba said, edging closer. ‘I can’t even see a stain.’

‘It’s here!’ Galinda flapped. ‘Right here.’ She jabbed at the faded red marks from the strawberry juice, almost impossible to see through the now dark grey. Elphaba raised an eyebrow.

‘Uh-huh…’ she said. ‘So, you’re telling me that you decided to drench your skirt because of a few tiny marks that literally nobody would notice, even if you shoved your crotch in their face?’

‘You -’ Galinda gasped, her hands squeezing the fabric tighter, ‘ - you’re so crude!’

‘I didn’t mean it like that, Galinda,’ Elphaba mumbled, her face darkening a little. ‘I meant that it’s a bit of an overreaction, isn’t it? Nobody would’ve spotted a little stain, but this ?’ She gestured at her haphazardly. ‘You can’t go wandering around campus without raising a few eyebrows.’

‘Oz, what was I supposed to do, then?’ Galinda hissed, feeling her chest start to tighten. 

‘I don’t know,’ said Elphaba, in a voice laced with sarcasm. ‘Maybe try not to throw a tantrum and hope the stains come out in the wash like a normal person?’

Galinda’s breath hitched. ‘I - that’s not - you don’t understand!’

‘Understand what?’

‘That I can’t be seen in such a mess !’

‘I hate to break it to you, but I think that ship has sailed,’ Elphaba smirked. She turned to leave - she also had Mathematics, and didn’t want to be late - when she heard a tiny, defeated whimper force its way from Galinda’s trembling lips.

For her part, Galinda was fighting with herself to calm down. But she could feel the dampness of her skirt against her palms, could see how much of a mess she looked, how much worse she had made things because she couldn’t leave it alone, couldn’t allow anyone to see that she’d slipped up, couldn’t stand an imperfection even on her clothes. She bit her lip, trying to stop her chin wobbling, but tears were already burning in the backs of her eyes, and her skirt was still ruined and she was still going to be late and Elphaba was still there .

Sniffing sharply, Galinda turned to the side, hiding her face from Elphaba and the mirror. She struggled through a breath. Calm down, calm down, calm down.

‘...Galinda?’ came Elphaba’s voice. She spoke softly, like she had the previous evening, careful and gentle and cautious. 

‘Oh, what is it?’ Galinda snapped, her own voice splintering at the edges. 

‘Um, I can help. With the skirt.’

Galinda blinked up at her, eyes full of unshed tears, and watched as she tugged off her jumper. It was grey and black - and perfectly shapeless! - and underneath, Elphaba was wearing a crisp, white-collared shirt. Galinda’s gaze swept over her for a moment, rather thinking the shirt was entirely too tight and showed off far too much of her toned arms and broad, strong-looking shoulders - oh, stop it! Stop it right this second! 

‘Tie this around the front of your skirt,’ Elphaba continued, holding it out to her. ‘It’ll cover the water stain and the marks you were trying to get rid of.’

Galinda looked at the jumper as if Elphaba had just offered her a severed head. ‘I - are you insane ? I can’t be seen wearing something like that ! It looks like someone quite literally died in it!’

Elphaba’s expression went totally deadpan. ‘Well, if you want to wander around campus looking like that, then be my guest. Or you can hide in here until your skirt dries off and miss Treadgold’s class. Which would you prefer?’

Galinda mumbled something under her breath, shifting on the spot and shirking Elphaba’s stern gaze.

‘What was that?’ said Elphaba.

‘Neither, okay?’ Galinda snarled. 

‘Then take the damn jumper.’

With an irritated huff, Galinda snatched it from her. The jumper felt soft in her hands, warmed from Elphaba’s body, and as she shook it out, a pleasant, delicate waft of just-snuffed candles and something else, something sweet, doused her senses. She always smells nice. I wonder what she uses? It’s so comforting - wait! No! No, it’s not! Trying desperately to dismiss that dangerous train of thought, Galinda secured the body of the jumper over her skirt and struggled with the arms, trying to tie them around her waist.

‘Oz, come here,’ said Elphaba. She grabbed at the arms of the jumper and tugged Galinda towards her. Galinda let out a little squeak, feeling a sudden heat in her face as Elphaba’s arms looped around her waist, tying the sleeves together in a knot at the base of her spine. She suppressed a little shiver as Elphaba’s deft fingers ghosted over her waist as she withdrew, giving the jumper a gentle tug to make sure it wouldn’t slip.

‘There,’ she said, with a small nod. ‘That works fine. I actually think the black and grey matches your skirt, you know.’

Galinda, who was pink in the face, served her a withering look. ‘It most certainly does not . The grey is a totally different shade to my skirt - it’s a horrid cool grey as opposed to warm. Not to mention that I would never be seen sporting such shoddy knitwork.’

‘Fine. I’ll just have it back, then,’ Elphaba shrugged, reaching forward as if to grab at it, and Galinda yelped and stumbled backwards into the sink

‘No! No,’ she spluttered. ‘That won’t be necessary - wait, are you laughing at me?’ Galinda stared at Elphaba, who was chucking delightedly behind her hand, and let out an incredulous gasp. ‘You are ! You’re laughing at me!’

‘Sorry, it’s just -’ Elphaba cut herself off with a snort of laughter, ‘ - you’re just so easy to tease, Galinda. You should’ve seen your face.’

Galinda’s mouth fell open. Tease?! The audacity of this girl! ‘You - you’re so mean , Elphaba Thropp!’

‘I’m mean?’ Elphaba smirked. ‘You’re the one who just insulted one of my favourite jumpers after I kindly loaned it to you so people wouldn’t think that you -’

‘ - It’s one of your favourites?’ sneered Galinda, plucking at it. ‘Why? It might be the most hideous thing I’ve ever seen - apart from you, of course.’ She let out a tittering laugh at her own joke because no one was around to laugh for her. 

‘Good one, Galinda,’ said Elphaba, rolling her eyes. ‘And it’s my favourite because Dulcibear made it for me. She’s my nanny. She’s also a bear , and last time I checked, it’s quite difficult to knit if you have paws.’

Galinda cocked her head to one side in curiosity. ‘Why in Oz would she have to make you clothes? You're a governor’s daughter, aren’t you? I know enough about local politics to deduce that makes you rather well off.’

‘We are,’ said Elphaba. ‘People don’t always make clothes to save money, Galinda. It can be a heartfelt gesture.’

‘I know that,’ replied Galinda hotly, thinking of the multitude of clothes her granny had made her over the years. ‘I’m just not sure this can be construed as heartfelt, since it’s so ugly.’

‘Well I love it.’ Elphaba said it without an ounce of shame, and suddenly, Galinda felt as if she ought to be quite careful with the garment. 

‘Right,’ she mumbled. ‘Um, I’ll look after it, then.’

‘Yeah. Try not to stain it,’ Elphaba said with a grin. ‘What happened, anyway? Did you spill something?’

‘I was eating strawberries.’ Galinda deliberately left out the fact she’d squeezed one by accident because she was thinking about her confusing feelings towards Elphaba, and smoothed down the front of the jumper distractedly. It really is very soft. It must be lovely for hugs…Not that I’d ever want to hug her, of course! 

‘Ah. Well, I’ve heard that lemon juice is good at lifting stains, if it doesn’t come out in the wash. You could probably get some from the canteen.’

Galinda nodded. She knew all about the effectiveness of lemon juice on certain stains. One of her earliest memories was stumbling inside after playing in the gardens around the estate, giggling and flushed from the outside air, grass stains on the whites of her knee-high socks and the hem of her dress, mud on her shoes, twigs tangled in her hair. Her mother nearly had an aneurysm on seeing her. She had yanked off her shoes, socks and dress in the middle of the entrance hall, ignoring Galinda’s embarrassed protests, and dragged a comb so viciously through her hair that Galinda had cried. She was then instructed to scrub out the stains with lemon juice as a perverse teaching moment. Her palms stung from it. You need to learn to be more careful, Galinda , her mother had said, surveying her as she cleaned. Your father and I work hard to buy you lovely clothes, asking only that you look after them, and this is how you repay us? By running around like a feral guttersnipe and covering yourself in filth? When Galinda had tried to explain that she was just playing, all that earned was another round of raised voices and stinging remarks. Her mother hated stains. She hated anything less than unblemished perfection. And Galinda learnt very quickly that she was not to be challenged. 

‘I’ll see how it fares in the laundry,’ she said, swallowing thickly. 

‘You could get lucky. Some of that water might've helped,’ replied Elphaba. ‘Anyway, what was the big deal? I doubt anyone would’ve noticed.’

‘Try living with my mother, Elphaba, and you’ll realise it is a big deal,’ Galinda said lightly. It was supposed to come out as a joke, but her voice wavered slightly at the end. Elphaba didn’t miss it.

‘Is she a bit of a neat freak, then?’ she asked, raising her eyebrows. 

‘Er…’ Galinda chewed at her lip, trying not to think about the number of times her mother had yelled at her for spilling something down her front, ‘...I guess so. She just has high standards.’

‘That must be quite stressful.’

Galinda felt herself tense up. ‘No. It’s fine. It’s nothing.’

‘Really? You seemed pretty upset about it,’ Elphaba pressed, and Galinda’s hands clenched at her sides. 

‘Would you just drop it, Elphaba?’ she retorted sharply before she could help herself. ‘It’s not actually any of your business. It doesn’t matter .’

Elphaba held up her hands as if in defeat. ‘Oz, fine. Anyway, are you going back to change, or do you want to walk to class?’

‘With you ?’ Galinda scoffed. ‘No thank you. And I am most certainly going to change - I can’t sit in a wet skirt for an hour. Besides,’ - she picked at Elphaba’s jumper as if she’d been draped in slime - ‘I need to limit the number of people who might spot me in this .’

Elphaba let out a snort. ‘Oz, Galinda, you could stand to be a little more grateful.’

‘And you could stand to have a little more fashion sense, yet here we are.’

Elphaba looked as if she wanted to say something else, her nostrils flared in annoyance, before she turned on her heels and marched off. Galinda stared after her, feeling a tiny flare of guilt, and her palms smoothed over the jumper again. She didn’t have to lend this to me. She could’ve just walked away. Why didn’t she? Shaking her head, Galinda double checked that her skirt was totally covered, before she traced Elphaba’s footsteps and flounced out of the bathroom.

*

Elphaba liked Mathematics. It was cool, straightforward and logical. Nothing was left open for interpretation, and she could follow it along without much difficulty or concern for running into a wall. Galinda Upland, meanwhile, was not cool, straightforward, or logical. 

She had watched as the girl scurried into the seminar about 15-minutes late, red-faced as Treadgold reprimanded her, in a completely different outfit. I thought she just needed to change her skirt? Elphaba thought, rolling her eyes as Galinda quickly found a spare seat towards the back of the class. Instead, she was wearing a floaty, pink dress with ridiculously high heels and a lilac jacket that complimented her complexion rather nicely - huh? No it doesn’t. Not especially, anyway. Galinda looks good in anything - what? Elphaba gave herself a little shake, snapping her attention back to the blackboard. She needed to spend less time ruminating about her insufferable roommate and more time absorbing the complex equations Professor Treadgold was mapping out in chalk. 

Despite her best efforts, though, her wayward mind found itself circling back to Galinda, even as she jotted down Treadgold’s instructions and tried to follow along as best she could. Elphaba didn’t have much to offer the world, at least in her opinion, so her academic prowess had to make up for it. That meant she couldn’t waste precious seminar hours thinking about Galinda, about her panic and her tears and her somewhat concerning obsession with how she looked. 

Elphaba knew after the first day of sharing a room just how precious Galinda was about her appearance. She was rudely woken up at half past five every morning from Galinda’s shower singing, and had to bury her head under the pillows through the hairdrying, wardrobe-slamming, perfume-spritzing cacophony that stormed after Galinda as she cycled through her endless morning routine. Of course, it paid off - Galinda looked flawless without fail. Elphaba thought that she must be tired, rising as early as she did, but the blonde always had an irritating spring in her heeled step as she wafted around campus. 

Publicly, Elphaba assumed Galinda tried so hard to look good for vanity’s sake and often told her so. Privately, she thought there was little need for Galinda to do so much. She already had a natural beauty, one Elphaba occasionally saw if she opened her eyes long enough to watch her skip from her bed to the bathroom and vice versa. Now, though, Elphaba had a sneaking suspicion that Galinda’s desperate strive for perfection was less to do with vanity or her own sense of self, but because it was, quite simply, expected of her. 

And Elphaba wasn’t really sure what to make of that. 

Having been born green, Elphaba never even had the choice of perfection. No one expected her to look her best, because - at least in their eyes - such a thing wasn’t possible. No one cared what she wore or how she did her hair. No one looked at her as an object of beauty, or even desire. So, while she couldn’t really feel empathetic towards Galinda, it certainly didn’t mean she wasn’t sympathetic towards her plight. She looked so worried in the bathroom, almost as if she was about to cry - just because of some faded stains. And how exhausting it must be, to rise so early and go through so many steps before she even wants to leave the suite. 

Letting out a quiet sigh, Elphaba’s eyes wandered and landed on the girl in question. Since she had shown up late, she wasn’t flanked by the usual suspects, and was sitting rather gingerly next to the ever-attentive Boq Woodsman, who hadn’t taken his gaze off her since she came into the room. Galinda didn’t seem particularly thrilled about that - she was quite literally at risk of slipping off her chair in her efforts to sit as far away from him as possible - and she was chewing the end of her pen instead of taking notes. Typical Galinda - she spends hours getting people to look at her, and then hates it when they do . Elphaba frowned to herself, then, realising that was quite the unfair thing to think. 

*

Later on, Elphaba went back to the suite for some peace and quiet. Galinda’s campaign of taunt Elphaba Thropp on sight had become rather draining, and she often found herself needing some time away from prying eyes just to recover from it all.

On entering, it was mercifully empty. Galinda probably has bigger fish to fry between classes than waste her time here , Elphaba thought to herself, kicking off her shoes and dumping her bag on the bed. She sat down at her desk with a long, tired sigh. 

Galinda’s side of the suite wasn’t as tidy as usual. Clothes were strewn over her bed and the floor, along with numerous pairs of heels and stockings. She had clearly been tearing through various outfits to find something else to wear. The offending grey skirt was abandoned by the foot of her bed, along with the shirt she’d been wearing with it. Elphaba couldn’t really kick up a fuss about the mess, though, since Galinda was generally a very tidy roommate. Thank Oz. I think it would push me over the edge, otherwise. 

Elphaba then spotted her own jumper. She frowned, craning her neck, and then stood to investigate. To her surprise, it was folded neatly on top of her stack of pink pillows. Elphaba sucked in a small breath. Amongst the frantic chaos and rush to get to class, Galinda had taken the time to make sure the jumper was gathered up smartly and meticulously. Elphaba couldn’t help but feel touched by the gesture. She decided to leave it as it was and wait for Galinda to return it to her, lest she be accused of messing with her things, and went back to her desk to do some much-needed studying. She hadn’t got anything done last night, given the glass incident, and wanted to catch up.

She only managed about ten minutes before the door burst open, and in swanned Galinda and Pfannee. Shenshen, unusually, wasn’t with them, but Elphaba counted herself lucky - two of them were better than three - but she still shrunk a little in her seat, wishing she opted for the balcony instead.

‘Oh, great,’ Pfannee said, recoiling in disgust. ‘What are you doing here, Elphaba?’

‘I live here,’ she muttered, not looking up from her desk. 

‘Well could you go somewhere else? You’re a horrible distraction when we’re trying to study, you know,’ said Pfannee, as he threw his bag on Galinda’s bed. 

‘Study? You ?’ Elphaba sneered. ‘I’m not convinced I’ve seen either of you progress beyond chapter one in any of the books you own.’

‘Spying on us, are we?’ Pfannee said. ‘You ought to get another hobby.’ He went to hurl himself across Galinda’s bed as he often did - something Elphaba was certain the girl didn’t like, because she always seemed to flinch when he did so - but caught himself at the last moment. 

‘Oz, Galinda,’ he said, nearly toppling over, ‘what’s with all the clothes? You having a sort out?’

‘Something like that,’ Galinda gulped, scurrying over to try and make some space for him. The tips of her ears flushed pink, and Elphaba assumed she was feeling embarrassed - she’d noticed that Galinda was very quick to blush if she was feeling flustered. Which is sort of cute, to be honest - what? No, it isn’t. She watched from her desk as Galinda surreptitiously kicked the ruined skirt under her bed as she shoved aside several dresses for Pfannee to sit. He did so with a languid sigh, stretching out like a cat.

‘Where should we start?’ Galinda asked, perching next to him and rummaging in her bag for her books. Elphaba was surprised - usually, Galinda and her friends came back to the suite under the guise of studying, but would then proceed to gossip about everything and nothing instead. It was rather grating to listen to, especially since their conversations were so vapid. She couldn’t see how Galinda could stand it. 

‘Oh, I don’t know,’ Pfannee groaned. ‘Every class seems perfectly tortuous if you ask me. I only enrolled here because my Papa attended, but I misread the smallprint.’

‘You’re trying to say you came to a university and didn’t think you’d have to study?’ Galinda giggled, putting her Mathematics textbook on her lap.

‘I didn’t think I’d have to study so hard ,’ said Pfannee, flourishing a floppy hand across his forehead. ‘Academic success is only for those who actually need it. You and I can coast along just fine with our names alone.’

‘Hm,’ Galinda shrugged noncommittally, and Elphaba was certain she was thinking about her aspirations to study under Madame Morrible. Galinda was the ambitious type, even if she didn’t show it. 

‘I mean,’ Pfannee continued obliviously, ‘why do you think Shenshen works harder than we do? She’s not like us and Milla. She doesn’t have a family name to fall back on if she needs it. She’s got to make the most of her time here.’ He let out a short laugh. ‘Which is probably why she’s holed up in the library.’

‘Shenshen comes from a rich family, Pfannee,’ said Galinda, a little stiffly. ‘She works hard because she wants to. And anyway, familial roots only get you so far. It’s…important to have a backup plan.’ Elphaba eyed her as she glanced down at the book in her lap, hands smoothing over the pages. 

Pfannee shook his head with a snort. ‘You don’t need to worry about any of that nonsense. We both know you’ll be married and settled the second we graduate.’

Galinda stiffened, her shoulders tensing. Elphaba watched as her toes, freed from the precarious heels she’d been wearing, curled up as if in displeasure. But Galinda didn’t say anything to refute Pfannee’s statement, and instead flipped to the index of the textbook.

‘Professor Treadgold told us to brush up on the binomial series, didn’t she?’ she said, a perfectly manicured finger running down the list. ‘I bet she’ll be testing us soon enough. I spoke to a second year the other day, and he said that Treadgold always springs surprise quizzes on first years to make sure that we -’

‘ - Oz, what is that ?’ Pfanne exclaimed, cutting across her entirely. Galinda, frustrated, slammed the book closed.

‘Pfannee,’ she said, her eyebrow twitching, ‘I really want to try and get some work done before dinner, so if you could just - wait, don’t touch that!’

Elphaba realised what was about to happen before Galinda did, and she opened her mouth to protest. Pfannee had spotted her jumper on Galinda’s pillows and leapt up, unfurling it and holding it against his body in disgust.

‘What is the reason for this ?’ he spluttered through a snort of laughter. ‘This might be the ugliest thing you own, Galinda.’

‘It’s not -’ Galinda cut herself off, and Elphaba figured out why; trying to explain why she had Elphaba’s jumper on her bed would be more of a social suicide for her than allowing Pfannee to think the garment belong to her.

‘I mean, the style aside, it’s not exactly your colour, is it?’ he continued. ‘I assume we can put this in the reject pile, no?’ Elphaba’s heart rate spiked as he bundled it into a ball, and she was just about to say something when Galinda got to her feet.

‘Give it back,’ she said quietly. 

‘Um, what?’ Pfannee spluttered. ‘Galinda, I’m trying to do you a favour, here. You really ought to get rid -’

‘ - I told you to give it back ,’ she interrupted, a bite to her tone. She lunged forward and took it from him before he could protest. She immediately shook it out again and started to fold it, before she held it against her chest in an almost protective fashion.

‘Oz, keep your hair on,’ Pfannee said, rolling his eyes. ‘If you want to keep such a horrendous looking thing, I won’t stop you.’ His eyes adopted a conspiratorial twinkle. ‘...But don’t be surprised if it goes missing one day and ends up in the fireplace.’

Galinda’s eyes tripled in size. ‘No, you - you can’t do that! Please don’t do that.’

‘Galinda, I’m kidding, I’m kidding,’ Pfannee said, looking at her oddly. ‘Keep the gross jumper. Just don’t go wearing it in public if you want to maintain any semblance of your reputation.’ With that, he flopped down on her bed again and started babbling about whether Crope and Tibbett, two boys in the year above them with an infamous reputation for getting caught in compromising positions, were actually locking lips in the kitchen larder or simply sampling a more luxurious selection of biscuits reserved for the formal dinners. 

Galinda let out a breath, carefully tucking Elphaba’s jumper under her pillows. She glanced up, and Elphaba caught her eye. A beat passed. Elphaba felt heat in her face. She wanted to say something, but she couldn’t with Pfannee in the room. Instead, she settled for the safe option.’

‘ Thank you ,’ she mouthed, nodding at her.

Galinda’s ears went pink. ‘... You’re welcome .’

Chapter Text

Chapter Three: Thunder

A few days after Elphaba had gotten Galinda out of a tight spot and lent her the jumper, the garment in question was returned, neatly folded and smelling faintly of whichever expensive laundry detergent Galinda used. To her utter confusion, Elphaba found herself not wanting to wear it - even though it was her favourite - for fear that the pleasant scent might fade. Well, I’m certainly not going to unpack whatever that means , she had thought to herself, carefully putting the jumper in her chest of drawers (something she quite literally had to fight Galinda over for ownership of, since she didn’t have anywhere else to put her clothes). 

Galinda seemed a little different post-jumper, as Elphaba had started privately referring to it as. She was still irritating and loud and flounced around like she owned every inch of campus, but in terms of her daily harassment, she had calmed down somewhat. Instead of insults on sight, she would only make one or two comments a day on Elphaba’s appearance, demeanor, or general presence. It stung either way, but Elphaba was trying to take the small wins when they came her way - one of which was her continued improvement in Madame Morrible’s classes. Her spellcraft was coming along nicely, and Morrible had even given her some advanced textbooks to look over as they progressed to the next level.

Sharing a space with Galinda, however, continued to be an uphill struggle.

‘Elphaba ,’ Galinda screeched from the bathroom, two days after she’d returned the jumper. ‘ If you don’t come here in the next five seconds, I am literally going to scream. ’

‘More than you are already?’ Elphaba said wearily. She wasn’t sure if Galinda heard her through the closed door, but nonetheless, she got up from her desk and went into the bathroom. ‘Oz, what’s the matter now?’ She stopped in her tracks when she caught sight of Galinda. 

The girl was standing wrapped in a fluffy pink towel, looking extremely irritated, her wet hair falling across her bare shoulders. Elphaba stared at her, caught completely off guard. She had clearly jumped straight out of the bath. Gulping, Elphaba watched as a droplet of water beaded at the tip of a single strand of hair, before dripping off and trickling down to the hollow of her neck. She’d never seen Galinda in just a towel. She seemed to make a point of wearing her bathrobe, hair always wrapped up in a smaller, matching towel before it went through its scrupulous routine.

‘What, precisely, is this?’

Elphaba took a moment to realise what Galinda was gesturing at. She followed the pointing finger to a lone sock scrunched on the floor. 

‘...Er, you’re joking, right?’ Elphaba said, averting her eyes from the delicate curve where Galinda’s neck met her shoulders. 

‘No, I am not joking!’ Galinda squawked. ‘How can I enjoy my lovely bubble bath if I’m forced to inhabit such an untidy space? I mean, what sort of person leaves a sock lying around?!’

‘Someone who was evidently in a rush and missed the laundry basket,’ Elphaba muttered, folding her arms. 

‘Well pick it up, then!’

‘If it’s such a big deal,’ grumbled Elphaba, ‘why didn’t you notice it until after you got in the bath?’

‘Because I had already taken my contacts out! I thought it was some sort of horrendous insect plotting to gnaw my face off when I was finally relaxing!’

Elphaba blinked at her. ‘I don’t know what sort of insects you get in Frottica, but none that I know of are the size of a perfectly average sock, nor do they tend to chew at people’s faces. Besides, since when did you wear contact lenses?’

‘Perfectly average, she says, as she stomps around in her gigantic clodhoppers,’ Galinda muttered, as if Elphaba wasn’t in ear shot. ‘And I’ve worn contacts since I was certified blind as a bat when I was a child, if you must know.’ She pointed to the little shelf below the mirror, where there sat a small, circular tub that Elphaba had always assumed was just another step of Galinda’s endless skincare routine. 

‘Why not just wear glasses? They’re much less fuss,’ Elphaba said, adjusting her own pair for good measure.

‘Because they just about tripled the size of my eyes and made my face look peculiar,’ Galinda declared. ‘Momsie would never allow it. And anyway, that isn’t the point of this conversation! Pick up your horrid old sock before my bath gets cold!’

Elphaba relented, not wanting another argument, and dumped the sock in her specified laundry basket with no small amount of frustrated flair. ‘There you go, your highness. I hope the bathroom reaches your lofty standards.’

‘Lofty ?’ Galinda spluttered, adjusting her towel and turning pink. ‘I’m not lofty, Elphaba, I would just rather not live in disorganised carnage.’

‘I hardly see how one sock can be construed as carnage.’

‘Well, it wouldn’t normally,’ Galinda smirked. ‘But since it’s yours , I’ve no doubt it is positively ablaze with a foul aroma - Oz, or even disease! One can never be too careful.’

That stung quite a lot. Elphaba opened her mouth as if to say something, but found she could not, and decided to leave Galinda to stew in the bath. Pressing her lips together, she took the time to slam the bathroom door as loudly as she possibly could, ignoring the tiny, surprised yelp expelled from her irksome roommate, and returned to her desk. 

Elphaba was fairly certain she’d never smelled unpleasant in her life, even during the egregious age that was puberty, but for one reason or another, the Munchkin children liked to tease her about it. It only took her a moment to remember their cruel taunts, and she sucked in a breath. No, don’t think about all of that. There’s no point. Sniffing sharply to herself, Elphaba lazily flipped open her Sorcery book. She noticed something that made her eyebrow twitch. 

‘Galinda!’ she snapped, shooting to her feet and marching back towards the bathroom door. 

‘Oh, what is it now ?’ came her high-pitched voice, as if she wasn’t the one who had disturbed Elphaba in the first place. ‘Did you find your other rancid sock ?’

Stuff this , Elphaba thought to herself. Without really thinking too much about what she was doing, she shoved her way into the bathroom. Galinda let out a shriek so ear-splitting that it was a wonder the windows didn’t shatter. There was a series of splashes as Galinda scrambled up the bubbles to her chest, before slipping herself beneath the water so hastily that Elphaba rather thought she looked like some sort of blonde eel. 

‘Elphaba Thropp! ’ she caterwauled, her head poking just above the water. ‘What - what in Oz do you think you’re doing ?! Get out !’

‘I’m not looking at you, for goodness sake,’ Elphaba grumbled, making a show of planting a hand over her eyes. ‘I thought I told you to stop messing with my Sorcery books. Madame Morrible gave them to me especially and I’m sick of you rifling through them.’

Galinda, if Elphaba could see her, went pink. ‘I - I’ve not - I’ve done nothing of the sort!’

‘Right,’ Elphaba muttered. ‘Then why are some of the pages folded over in the corners? I would never dog-ear any of my books, least of all ones belonging to someone else.’

‘And what makes you think I had anything to do with that?’ Galinda huffed. ‘You said it yourself - those books were given to you by Morrible. She could very easily be the culprit.’

‘Because I severely doubt that Madame Morrible is the type to underline in pink ink . I’m not stupid, Galinda. Just admit to scribbling in and dog-earing my books and I’ll leave you and your stupid bubble bath in peace.’

‘What’s the point in admitting anything if you already think I’m guilty?’ Galinda muttered. 

‘It’s the principle of the matter. I don’t mess with your stuff, so you can’t mess with mine. It’s an invasion of privacy.’

‘Invasion of privacy?!’ Galinda screeched, and Elphaba heard another indignant splash. ‘ You’re the one who has let herself into the bathroom while I’m trying to bathe!’

‘Stop. Touching. My. Stuff.’ Elphaba spat every word with a hiss, a hand still over her eyes so as not to prove Galinda’s point. 

‘Then stop leaving your stuff lying around - like that infernal sock!’

‘So you do admit to it, then?’

‘Oz -’ Galinda cut herself off with a frustrated snarl. Elphaba could just picture the look on her face, and smirked behind her hand. ‘Right. Fine. Fine. I may or may not have had a little look through one of your Sorcery books, but that’s all your fault for - for taunting me with them.’

‘Huh? In what way is using my desk to keep my books taunting you?’

‘Why do you think?’ Galinda whinged. ‘You know full well that I want to learn under Madame Morrible, but then you came along and stole my spot in her seminars.’

‘Funny. That makes it sound like you actually had a spot in the first place.’

‘I - I would have!’ spluttered Galinda. ‘If I’d have been given the opportunity to prove myself, I’d be the one with all those Sorcery books, not you. So what if I had a little peruse? The least you could do is let me, since it’s all your fault that Morrible turned her nose up at me.’

Elphaba’s mouth fell open in outrage. ‘How in Oz is it my fault? If memory serves, she rejected you even before she knew what I could do!’

‘That isn’t true.’

‘No? Didn’t you submit a whole essay to her over the summer before you even got here?’ Elphaba said impatiently. ‘And after all that, she still didn’t pick you. That has nothing to do with me, but all to do with your talent - or lack thereof.’

The bathroom was quiet for an uncomfortably long pause. Elphaba could hear the gentle tinkling of the bubbles as they popped in the bathtub. She wondered if Galinda might’ve stuck her head under the water to avoid the conversation, but there was no noise to indicate that. She shifted on the spot, almost tempted to peak, but knowing that Galinda would probably have a stroke and drown if she did so. 

‘...Anyway, just stop going through my books,’ mumbled Elphaba. ‘Or if you’re that desperate to read them, then for goodness sake, ask.’

‘What’s the point?’ came Galinda’s voice, much smaller than it had been a few minutes ago. ‘Not like I can do anything when no one wants to teach me.’

Elphaba wasn’t exactly sure what inspired her next words, but looking back, she decided the steam from the hot bath probably got to her. ‘Well, I could always teach you, if you want. It would help me to go over Morrible’s teachings, and -’

When she was cut off by a bout of sputtering laughter, Elphaba really wondered why she bothered being nice to Galinda at all.

‘You , teach me?’ Galinda laughed, throwing her head back so it dipped into the water. ‘The nerve! What makes you think I’d want that, anyway? I’ve seen how dreadful your command of magic is - or have you forgotten when you broke the balcony window and smashed up my serums and creams?’

Elphaba’s eye twitched behind her hand. ‘I’ve actually been working very hard on controlling that, if you must know. And I’ve been improving. Madame Morrible is impressed with my progress.’

‘Well, whoop-de-doo for you.’

‘It’s more like whoop-de-doo for you, I think you’ll find,’ replied Elphaba, annoyed. 

‘What have I got to do with it?’ Galinda shot back.

‘Oz, because I don’t want to lose control and freak you out again when we argue!’ Elphaba snapped. ‘Which, clearly , will continue for as long as we’re forced to spend time together. And if it does, then I’d rather not trigger another panic attack if I end up breaking glass, or something.’

‘A what?’ 

‘Are you being deliberately obtuse?’ Elphaba said. ‘That panic attack, Galinda. Remember? When you literally couldn’t breathe?’

Another pause. Elphaba could almost hear the cogs in Galinda’s brain whirring away.

‘...Um, I do remember, of course,’ she mumbled. ‘I just - I’ve not heard them called that before. Momsie would refer to them as meltdowns and leave it at that.’

‘It’s happened before?’ Elphaba replied, raising an eyebrow. 

‘Well, obviously,’ Galinda said flippantly. ‘But it’s not unusual. Everyone panics a bit from time to time.’

‘Yes, everyone does panic,’ Elphaba nodded. ‘But not everyone has panic attacks, Galinda. They’re a totally different kettle of fish. Exactly how often do you -’

‘ - Oz, it’s not important,’ Galinda interrupted, suddenly sounding a lot more irritated. ‘Will you leave me alone now, please? My bathwater is definitely getting cold, and the bubbles are going. I do want to bathe this evening, if it’s all the same to you.’

‘Right, but -’

‘ - Oh, go away!’

Letting out a frustrated sigh, Elphaba did as she was asked. She turned away and dropped her hand, before she left the bathroom and closed the door behind her - much gentler, this time around. Well, that went swimmingly, she thought to herself. 

She lowered herself into her desk chair once again and picked up the book. Galinda had underlined some passages in pink, and as Elphaba flicked through to the various pages she had dog-eared, she realised they were all revolving around a common theme - Illusionary Magic. Why would she be interested in that? she frowned, scanning over the various sentences Galinda had highlighted. She seemed to be interested in spells that would alter her appearance, and Elphaba scoffed. How shallow she is, to be so wrapped up in the way she looks. 

Then again…Elphaba glanced down at her green hands. The whole reason she wanted to see the Wizard was so he could change her, hopefully on a permanent basis. The spells Galinda was looking at wouldn’t last. What does she even want to change? She’s as close to perfect as they come.

‘Uh-oh,’ Elphaba gulped aloud, giving her head a little shake. ‘No. She’s not perfect . She’s just…blonde. Yes. Blonde.’

*

Galinda started her day with a single-minded mission: get into Madame Morrible’s Sorcery seminars. Following their little spat last night, Galinda had decided that she needed to prove Elphaba wrong and present herself as the excellent sorceress she was certain she was. It didn’t matter that she hadn’t produced a single spark of magic, of course. That’s only because I’ve not had anyone to teach me, she thought to herself triumphantly, as she flourished her eyelash curler in the mirror. Since she wanted to make a good impression, Galinda had decided to rise extra early to prepare herself for her mission, and had been preening for the better part of three hours before Elphaba even stirred. 

Humming to herself cheerfully, Galinda fluttered her eyelashes in the mirror. Her mother used to say her eyes were too large for her face - they give you a perpetually surprised look, dear, almost like a freakish little insect - but later decided that Galinda had grown into them and actively encouraged her to show them off. It was peculiar how quickly Larena Upland changed her mind. She was always adjusting the benchmark, criticising Galinda for something she would then compliment the next week. Galinda tried to keep up as best she could. She wanted to please her. She wanted to please everyone - which was probably why, when she spotted a slight blemish on her chin, she nearly let out a shriek. 

Logically speaking, Galinda knew Madame Morrible wouldn’t notice or even care about the state of her skin. She took stupid Elphaba on as a student, at any rate , Galinda thought bitterly. But still, she wanted to present the best possible version of herself - and that did not involve any sort of blemish. 

When Galinda was younger, she used to have freckles. Her light complexion lent itself to them, especially in the summer months when the sun would hit her skin, bringing them out and lightening her golden hair until it was almost white. Blonde curls were something her parents adored. Her mother enjoyed plaiting Galinda’s hair, fixing it with ribbons and bows. Her father always approved, saying she looked just like a princess. Galinda would giggle and glow. Freckles, however, neither of them liked. Galinda’s first introduction to make-up had been during a particularly sweltering summer when she was seven, and her freckles came out in full force, sprinkling over her cheeks and nose. Her mother had sat her down at her vanity and showed her how to cover them up. They make your face look all unsymmetrical, Galinda, she had said sternly, dabbing on make-up with enough vigour that it started to hurt. You’d do better to cover them up. 

As she got older, her freckles retreated and her hair got a little darker, even when exposed to the sun. Galinda privately missed how she looked when she was little. She’d always thought freckles to be quite adorable. They certainly look cute on El - no! No, no, no! 

Giving herself a shake, Galinda got to work on covering the blemish. A spot was no doubt a harbinger of her period, which was an annoyance, but she tried not to think about that. She always suffered from them, and it would be her first away from home. She sucked at her teeth, frowning as she dabbed over a green-tinged concealer to neutralise the redness that was starting to show. She didn’t need this, not today, not when she had to be at her absolute best to impress Madame Morrible.

There was a snuffle from the other side of the room as Elphaba, groggily, pulled herself into a sitting position. Galinda watched her as she stifled a yawn, rubbed her eyes, and reached for her glasses. 

‘...Morning,’ she said, her voice thick with sleep.

‘Good morning, Elphaba,’ Galinda said coolly, returning her attention to her reflection. ‘I trust you slept well, given you were snoring for the majority of the night?’

‘If anyone was snoring, it was you,’ Elphaba grumbled, throwing back her covers.

‘I -’ Galinda gasped. ‘How dare you insinuate such a thing?! I have never snored in my entire life!’

‘Yeah, and I’m the Wizard of Oz.’

Galinda glowered at her as Elphaba slid out of bed and padded towards the bathroom, stretching her arms above her head as she did so. She didn’t know whether she snored or not, but either way, she thought it was dreadfully rude of Elphaba to point it out. 

‘Galinda,’ Elphaba said, poking her head out of the bathroom, ‘you forgot to drain the bath again.’

‘Oops, sorry,’ Galinda tittered, not at all sincere. 

‘Why did you even have another bath?’ Elphaba muttered. ‘You washed last night. Unless, of course, that cacophony of snoring you were performing made you a bit sweaty, hm?’

‘Go away!’ Galinda said, throwing down her concealer with a huff. Elphaba let out a little laugh - one that both irritated and amused Galinda, for reasons unknown - and shut the door behind her. 

Muttering under her breath, Galinda resumed her make-up routine. She had wanted another bath because she needed to look her best! What did Elphaba Thropp know about that?!

*

Galinda was able to ambush Madame Morrible right after breakfast. She hadn’t eaten much. Her stomach was wriggling with nerves at the prospect of holding another conversation with the coveted Dean of Sorcery, and the mere thought of swallowing down anything other than a few cubes of pineapple made her feel physically sick. Shenshen had something to say about that.

‘Are you on a diet, or something?’ she said, as they went to deposit their used plates in the trollies. 

‘Huh?’

‘You hardly ate anything,’ replied Shenshen, nodding at the bowl of untouched porridge and buttered slice of toast Galinda had picked up on autopilot. 

‘Er - no, I’m not on a diet,’ Galinda said hastily. ‘I’m just not particularly hungry at the moment. W-why? Do you think I need to go on one?’ Her voice wavered a little as she said it, and she hoped Shenshen wouldn’t notice.

‘Oz, no!’ Shenshen snorted. ‘You could probably get away with gaining a few pounds, if anything. I was just curious.’

‘Oh, right,’ Galinda said, clearing her throat. ‘Um…You’d tell me if I did though, right?’

‘Did what?’

‘If I did need to diet.’

Shenshen rolled her eyes, putting her tray in the trolly. ‘Galinda, that’s not for me to say. Your relationship with your weight and your body is nobody’s business but your own.’

That’s not true at all, Galinda frowned. Momsie has always kept an eye on it on my behalf. Before she could refute Shenshen’s statement, though, she spotted Madame Morrible wafting into the mess hall and towards the tea station, looking as regal as ever.

‘Oh!’ she squeaked. ‘Sorry, Shen, I’ve got to go. See you later.’

‘Bye, Galinda.’

Swallowing down her nerves, Galinda carefully smoothed down the front of her blouse - she had chosen to wear a slim-fitting, two-piece skirt suit with polished golden buttons that matched the accents on her heels - and approached her. She had to sneak in the queue to do so, since Morrible, as a faculty member, was allowed to bypass the students, but no one minded. All Galinda had to do was flash them a dazzling smile, and they gratefully made the space for her.

‘Good morning, Madame Morrible!’ she chirruped, her voice several octaves higher than normal. ‘Glorious weather we’re having this morning, no?’

Morrible, who had wrinkled her nose the moment she saw who had dared address her before she’d had her cup of morning tea, gave Galinda such a sour expression that it was a wonder the girl wasn’t reduced to a smoking pile of ash.

‘I suspect a storm is brewing,’ she said flatly, turning her back to select her favourite blend.

‘Um, how can you tell?’

‘I am a weather expert, Miss Galinda,’ Morrible muttered. ‘It pays to read the clouds. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’d rather like to take my tea in peace.’ She made a point of moving around Galinda, who had gotten a little too close in her eagerness, and reached for a cup. Galinda got there first, grabbing it for her and offering a smile. 

‘Of course, of course!’ she said, handing her the cup. ‘I too like a nice cup of tea in the morning. I favour peppermint, personally. What about you?’

Morrible’s eyebrow twitched. ‘...Ginger. Preferably in solitude.’

‘Right, yes!’ Galinda nodded, either ignoring the hint or simply not noticing it in her anxiousness. ‘My granny adores ginger tea. I bought her a special blend for Lurlinemas last year that was exported all the way from Rinkitink! Apparently, the vendor had a dreadful old time crossing the Deadly Desert, but I certainly think it was worth it, since the tea was most gratefully received and -’

‘ - Miss Galinda,’ Morrible interrupted, her face tight, ‘is there something you wanted, or did you approach me simply to blabber on about tea?’

A few students who were also in the queue snickered at that. Galinda felt herself go red. 

‘I - no, sorry,’ she said, wringing her hands together. ‘I was just hoping to catch you as soon as I could. I wanted to talk to you about your seminars again. We didn’t really get the chance to discuss that essay I submitted, what with all that bother with Elphaba.’ Galinda took the time to roll her eyes when she mentioned her roommate. ‘And - and I wanted to hear your thoughts.’

Morrible, who was pouring just-boiled water from a copper teapot, seemed to bristle. ‘I would hardly call what you handed in an essay , Miss Galinda. If memory serves, it was only two pages long. Not to mention that I was hardly able to decipher it through the atrocious use of spelling, grammar and punctuation. I thought it was - how do you youngsters say - a prank.’

More giggles. Galinda felt her throat tighten. ‘O-Oh. I thought - I didn’t think that you’d read it.’

‘I read all applications to my seminar series in the hopes that something worthwhile might cross my desk,’ Morrible muttered, dropping in a teabag that smelt strongly of ginger. ‘Suffice to say, I remain disappointed.’

‘But I -’ Galinda swallowed, balling her fists in the fabric of her skirt as Morrible set down the teapot, ‘ - I, um, I worked really hard on it, Madame Morrible. I thought if I was able to demonstrate my passion for the subject, that you might allow me to join your seminars so - so I can learn from someone of your calibre. I do want to become a great sorceress, you know. I’m very serious about it.’

‘Passion is an admirable quality,’ replied Morrible crisply, ‘but you also need talent, Miss Galinda, which is something I fear you sincerely lack.’

One of the students standing behind them literally snorted, then, and Galinda’s cheeks burned. She could feel several pairs of eyes on them, watching and listening as she was slowly dismantled by Morrible’s cutting tongue, and she squirmed on the spot, desperate to not be deterred. She had to try.

‘Um, with all due respect, how can you know that?’ she said meekly. ‘You’ve not even, I don’t know, tested me or anything.’

Madame Morrible arched an eyebrow. ‘Why, do you want to be tested?’

‘I want the opportunity to prove myself.’

‘Hm. Very well,’ Morrible said smoothly. She glanced around at the tea station and the gaggle of students waiting patiently for their turn, and she cocked her head to the side. ‘Go ahead and levitate one of those teacups, Miss Galinda.’

Galinda stared at her. ‘What? Right now?’

‘You’re desperate to prove your worth, are you not?’ Morrible sneered. ‘Why wait? Show me how talented you are, and we’ll see about enrolling you into my seminars.’

‘ This should be interesting,’ whispered one of the students, nudging her friend. Galinda’s eyes snapped to them, feeling her ears growing hot. 

‘I - but you haven’t told me how,’ she gulped, looking back to Morrible. 

‘It is quite the simple incantation, really,’ replied Morrible, taking a sip of her tea. ‘Even those with the most basic command of magic should be able to manage it. Miss Elphaba over there was able to complete the spell after a single lesson.’ A long finger pointed over to where Elphaba was sitting, alone, her nose in a book. She evidently hadn’t noticed the exchange. 

‘Well, you just said it,’ Galinda mumbled. ‘Elphaba had a lesson.’

‘Open your ears, and you’ll receive one now,’ Morrible said curtly. ‘I want you to focus on your chosen teacup. Eyes shut. Toes clenched. Envision your… power ,’ - she couldn’t help but scoff - ‘reaching out to lift it up. Can you manage that?’

Palms profusely sweating as she fiddled with her skirt, Galinda did as Morrible asked. It was incredibly difficult to concentrate with so many eyes on her, watching with bated breath to see if she could actually pull it off. She kept her eyes squeezed shut. Her mouth was pressed in a thin line. Maybe if I concentrate really, really hard, I’ll be able to make it work! When several painful minutes went by without Morrible saying anything, and the snickering from the watching students grew, Galinda relented and opened her eyes. She didn’t really want to. Keeping the shut meant she could allow the illusion of success to last a little while longer. But as she blinked them open, taking in Morrible’s unimpressed expression and the teacup very much not floating in the air, she felt her stomach drop. 

‘Well,’ Madame Morrible said, taking another sip of her tea, ‘I rather think that answers the question, doesn’t it?’

The handful of students who weren’t feeling very sorry for Galinda at that moment - because there was a lot to be sympathetic about, given how Morrible was looking at her as if she was a smudge of dirt on her shoe - went ahead and giggled amongst themselves. Despite her best efforts, Galinda’s eyes grew hot. She hated being laughed at.

‘I - I think if maybe I tried in a more controlled environment -’ she began, her chin quivering, but Morrible held up a hand to silence her. 

‘And that would only further prove that you’re not good enough, Miss Galinda,’ she said. There was no malice in her tone, only stone-cold fact. It made Galinda feel a hundred times worse. ‘Now, if this little circus act is over, I have my morning duties to attend to. Good day.’ With that, she marched off with her tea, nearly clipping Galinda’s shoulder as she did so. 

There was a painfully awkward pause as Galinda stood, frozen, in the way of the tea station. She could feel herself starting to tremble, a combination of disappointment and embarrassment rocketing up from her gut, and she clenched her fists in the material of her skirt even tighter. 

‘Hard luck, Miss Galinda!’ said a voice she vaguely recognised as belonging to Crope, a dark-haired young man in the year above her. He clapped her on the back with a little too much force for her liking. ‘Still, it could've been worse. I heard that Morrible once turned a student into a toad for interrupting her morning brew. Apparently, he still hops around the quad from time to time.’

‘Hah, yeah,’ Galinda managed, her voice shaking. 

‘Good on you for giving it a go,’ Crope continued, evidently trying to make her feel better. 

‘Even if it was a terrible failure,’ someone piped up with a snigger. If a house descended from the heavens and flattened me right this second, I’d be glad of it, Galinda thought to herself, closing her eyes as she flushed a deep pink. 

‘Shut it, Avaric,’ Crope said sharply, turning to glower at him. ‘I’d like to see you try and make something float under Morrible’s discerning glare.’

‘Oh, I totally would,’ Avaric said flippantly, ‘but I know better than to embarrass myself. Seems like Miss Galinda didn’t get the memo.’

Now feeling thoroughly rotten and terribly self-conscious, Galinda swiftly exited the queue and scurried off. She nearly tripped in her haste, but caught herself at the last moment. A fortuitous thing, too - she wasn’t sure she could handle any more blows to her dignity. She swallowed down the lump that had bloomed in her throat and made her way across campus. Thankfully she had a free period right after breakfast - one she knew Elphaba had her Religious Studies class in, something Galinda had no interest in studying - and found the suite empty. She slammed the door shut and pressed a trembling hand over her mouth. 

You’re not good enough.

Morrible’s words rang like a relentless bell in Galinda’s mind. She stumbled, kicking off the heels she had so painstakingly chosen that morning because they matched her jacket, and she made a bee-line for her bed. 

‘Stupid, stupid, stupid,’ she hissed, throwing herself onto the mattress. She rolled onto her side, squeezing her arms around herself, idle fingers clawing into the fabric of her jacket. She had spent so long picking it out, so long doing her hair and her make-up, and for what? To be publicly embarrassed and promptly dismissed by a woman she had grown up admiring? What was the point of it? What was I even trying to achieve? Of course I’d never be able to pull something like that off. Of course she would think me incapable. 

‘You idiot,’ Galinda whispered, her eyes filling up with tears. 

She wasn’t a stranger to the feeling currently gnawing in her gut - failure, failure, failure - but it never got any easier. And she never learnt how to cope with it. Sniffling, Galinda reached around to grab one of her scatter cushions, bringing it to her chest and burying her face into it. In an ideal world, she’d be cuddling her childhood teddy, a little pink penguin called Salmon. He’d grown bald from the amount of times she’d snuggled with him, but he was currently tucked away in a large box on top of Galinda’s wardrobe. When she found out she’d have to share a room, she promptly snatched him from her bed and had hidden him away. She briefly wondered whether that was why she had been struggling to sleep at night, but that was only a front for the real reason - that being her increasingly conflicting feelings surrounding El - no! Not now! Don’t think about her!

Despite her best efforts, Galinda knew she was about to cry. There was no point in stopping it. Letting out a sad whimper, she pressed her face into the soft silk of the pillow, and allowed her tears to fall and soak the fabric. She’d always been a big crier - too many emotions and not enough space for them - but she rarely allowed herself to cry in public. When she got older, she quickly learnt that it was unbecoming and childish to dissolve into floods of tears where other people could see her. In the privacy of her own suite, however, when she knew she wouldn’t be disturbed by her roommate, she let it happen. 

You’re not good enough. 

You’re not good enough. 

She knew that. Of course she knew that. It was the same story in a different font. She hadn’t been good enough at school to keep up with her classmates, always one step behind, always confused as to why her friends were able to excel in exams as easily as breathing, while she required extra time just to read the questions. It’s lucky you’re pretty, Galinda, they would say, smiling as if it was a compliment.

It wasn’t just school she felt inadequate at, though. It was everything she tried. 

I don’t know what’s so difficult, her mother would sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose as Galinda clumsily stumbled through a ballet routine she was supposed to be rehearsing. None of the other little girls have two left feet. You’re like a baby elephant. Galinda didn’t go back to the ballet classes after that. She had liked going up until that point, before she realised there was a sense of competition perpetuated by mother. After the criticism, though, she found every gesture a struggle, too self-aware to really enjoy it, and too self-conscious of her bumbling movements. 

You never think, do you ? her father had muttered, when he came home from a lengthy business trip and discovered she had painted him a wobbly ‘WELCOME HOME’ banner on sheets with too high a thread-count to be used as an arts and craft project. Tidy that away before your mother sees. And for goodness sake, scrub that paint off your dress. She’ll have both our heads if it stains. Galinda had then promptly retired her paintbrushes entirely. She used to love it. She used to set up a makeshift easel in the gardens, sticking her tongue out as she tried to accurately capture the lengthy driveway that led up to the main house. Her granny would clap whenever she saw what Galinda had created, kissing the top of her head, but her mother would smile falsely and put the creations somewhere the guests wouldn’t see. 

When Galinda grew up, she became more and more aware of her perceived inadequacies. She couldn’t ride a horse as graciously as the other well-bred girls. She couldn’t bake buttery pastries and tarts without singing the tops of them. She couldn’t obtain high grades in her exams. She couldn’t keep the boys she courted around long enough for the relationships to progress. And worst of all, she couldn’t seem to make her parents happy. 

It’s hard work, raising you , her mother bemoaned tiredly. Sometimes I really wish we’d had another child. 

A sob got caught in Galinda’s throat. She hiccuped into the pillow, hating herself for it more and more each second, wondering why she got worked up, why she couldn’t just make that stupid teacup float, and why she vehemently believed that looking her best would somehow trick Morrible into thinking she was a competent student. 

She had first read about Madame Morrible when she was twelve. Having had an interest in Sorcery for as long as she could remember, her granny would buy her bits and pieces to foster the dream, and one of which happened to be a magazine called Which Witch is Which , where there was a two-page spread dedicated to Morrible’s life and career. She had been born in Gilliken Country, just like Galinda, which gave them an instant connection (at least in her eyes).

Galinda had devoured the article, her eyes alight with excitement, staring at the sternly beautiful portrait of Madame Morrible the magazine had used. She had read it so much that she could recite the entire thing from memory. She carefully tore out the pages, folded them up, and put them in her special box where she kept birthday cards, tickets, precious trinkets, and anything else she deemed important to her. And whenever she felt frustrated at herself - because of school, or ballet, or horseriding, or cookery - she would retreat to her little box, look over the article, and feel a little better. She had a goal. She didn’t need the best grades, or ballet or horseriding or cookery, in order to become a successful sorceress like Madame Morrible.

The joy of magic, of true magic, the article read, is that it can make the powerless feel capable. I myself came from humble beginnings, but through diligent study, careful craft, and immense dedication, I was able to reach even greater heights. The same can be said for any aspiring spell-caster - with guided direction and hard work, we can bring magic back to our great land of Oz in bucketloads. We need only try. 

Galinda’s parents thought her obsession with magic and Morrible to be a little concerning. They were worried it was a distraction. But when they saw how tremendously serious she was about the whole thing, they too tried to nurture it. A sorceress in the family would be a very fortunate thing! her mother beamed, as she helped Galinda haul several large tomes from the local bookseller back to the estate. How proud you’ll make us, darling. 

It didn’t work out the way she envisioned, of course. And with or without Elphaba, Galinda knew it was a lost cause. She had let her parents down. Again. As she did with every single thing she tried her hand at. What was worse, she had utterly embarrassed herself in front of her peers and demonstrated what a failure she was to the woman she looked up to above all else. 

‘You stupid, stupid idiot!’ she wept. Her voice echoed in the suite. Her chest hurt. Her face burned.

You’re not good enough.

You’re not good enough.

You’re not good enough.

*

The sky had darkened into a deep, bruising purple by the time Elphaba had finished up dinner and retired to the suite. It had been a trying day - while Galinda appeared notably subdued, for whatever reason, the rest of her friends were not. Elphaba had to navigate their petty comments and endure their insults right up until she shut the door of the dorm, letting out an agonised sigh. There was only so many times she could be called disgusting in a day before it actually started to grate on her. 

Galinda was standing by the - now mended - balcony window. She seemed fixated on the sky, her lower lip caught between her teeth. Elphaba had noticed, for a girl who wore a lot of lipgloss, she spent a large portion of her time nibbling it off. 

‘Hi,’ she said, taking off her shoes. ‘I think a storm is rolling in.’

Whatever trance Galinda had been in seemed to break, and she turned her attention towards Elphaba. ‘Mm. Morrible said something similar this morning. Makes you wonder why she doesn’t do something about it.’

‘Well, a big part about being a sorcerer is understanding when to interfere, and when to leave alone,’ Elphaba said, unpacking her books from the day and stacking them on her desk. ‘If Morrible maintained perfect sunshine over campus at all times, the plants and wildlife would no doubt suffer for it. Responsibility is a key factor in spell-craft, after all.’

‘Yes, I know that,’ Galinda said impatiently. ‘I have read The Five Principles of Spell-craft, Elphaba. It’s just an annoyance. I was planning on having evening drinks down in the forest with Shenshen and the others, but we’re not going to bother now.’

Elphaba, who was quite surprised Galinda even knew what The Five Principles of Spell-craft were (a manifesto penned by Morrible herself in her youth and stamped with approval by the Wizard himself), raised an eyebrow. 

‘Drinks? Special occasion, is it?’

‘No, not particularly,’ Galinda said, moving away from the window. ‘Just because you don’t socialise for the sheer fun of it, it doesn’t mean the rest of us are so condemned.’

‘All right, all right,’ Elphaba muttered. She wasn’t too thrilled at the prospect of spending an evening with Galinda, but that was looking increasingly likely. She figured she’d make an alternative suggestion. She wanted to study, and Galinda was a terrible distraction. ‘...You could always, you know, find a sheltered spot on campus and drink there.’

‘Are you daft?’ Galinda spluttered. ‘We’re not allowed alcohol on university grounds. Coddle would have us all out on our backsides if she caught us.’

Well, it was worth a shot, Elphaba thought forlornly. She settled into her desk chair and got to work on one of the many extra credit assignments she was undertaking. As if she didn’t have enough work to do as it was, but Elphaba felt she wanted to make the most out of the unexpected opportunity that had befallen her. Being two years Nessa’s senior, she had turned 20 without enrolling at university - not for a lack of want, of course. All Elphaba had ever dreamed of was joining a prestigious and learned institution, but her father had explicitly forbidden it. Elphaba had planned on applying in secret despite his orders, but when he noticed several prospectuses coming through the post, he quickly caught on.

What makes you think someone like you could possibly thrive at university? he had snarled, ripping in half a prospectus for Grandview, a well-established institution in the heart of the Land of Ev. It had seemed perfect - and far enough away from Munchkinland that Elphaba hoped she might escape her father and its ignorant residents - but she never even got the chance to have a look. I thought I already told you, Elphaba; you’re not to leave me sight. I cannot run the risk of more people finding out about you.

Without Madame Morrible’s intervention, Elphaba was certain that her father would’ve swiftly removed her from Shiz and ensured she didn’t stray too far. She was acutely aware of how fragile the situation was. She had to please Morrible, lest she risk her place, and that meant undertaking a lot of extra reading - on top of keeping up with her other classes, to boot. Massaging her temple, Elphaba picked up her pen and began to write. It didn’t matter that she was tired. It didn’t matter that she was developing a headache. I cannot lose this. 

As she feared, though, Galinda was already proving to be a distraction. Oz , she thought to herself, as Galinda paced restlessly around their room like some sort of caged animal, is she incapable of sitting down and keeping still ? 

‘You’re going to wear a hole in the floorboards,’ Elphaba muttered, as Galinda drifted from the fireplace to the bathroom and back again. And again. And again. She kept stealing cursory glances out the window to the rapidly darkening sky, biting her lip. 

‘It’s getting really dark,’ she said quietly. ‘It’s not even terribly late. That’s - that’s pretty unusual, isn’t it?’

‘It’s as I said,’ Elphaba replied, rubbing her temple again, ‘we’re expecting a storm.’ 

She thought she heard Galinda audibly gulp, but decided she must’ve imagined it. She tried to train her attention back on her work, rather than her agitated roommate, and clicked on her desk lamp to combat the shadows. A warm, yellow glow cast itself over the desk, and she relaxed a little. There was always something cosy to be found in lamps, at least in her opinion. She rarely liked to sleep without one on, but had quickly gotten out of the habit when she started sharing a room with Galinda. As much as she disliked the fact, she really didn’t want to disturb Galinda’s sleep. I bet she’s the sort who needs at least ten hours of undisturbed rest, or she’s even more insufferable than usual. Of course, Elphaba couldn’t be further from the truth, but she liked to think that way to disguise the real reason she kept the lights off - because she didn’t want Galinda thinking she was childish. 

Sighing, Elphaba was about to start writing her extra credit essay out proper, when she heard a slight grunt from the other side of the room. Her eyebrow twitched. 

‘What exactly are you up to now?’ she said, turning in her chair to frown at Galinda, who was presently tugging one of her obnoxiously pink trunks across the floor. 

‘I’m - ugh - trying to get a box down,’ Galinda grumbled, hauling the trunk into place at the foot of her wardrobe. Elphaba glanced up and saw a large pink (sigh) box atop it. She had no idea how Galinda had managed to get it up there in the first place, given her short stature, but that was not her present concern.

‘And you really think climbing on that is a good idea?’ she said. ‘How do you expect to manage that gigantic box if you’re balancing on another one?’

‘Oh, do you have a better idea?’ Galinda demanded, slapping the lid of the trunk as if testing its sturdiness. 

‘Yeah. Let me help. I don’t want you to break your neck.’

Before Galinda could protest, Elphaba had set her pen down and marched over to the wardrobe.

‘And how exactly are you going to do that?’ Galinda huffed. ‘You’re not that much taller than me. Although you do rather resemble a beanstalk.’ She chuckled delicately at her own joke.

‘Wow, as if I’ve not heard that one before,’ Elphaba said sarcastically. ‘And my height doesn’t matter. I meant that you could pass it down to me once you’ve got it.’

‘Why are you being so helpful? It’s…auspicious,’ Galinda frowned. 

‘I think you mean suspicious,’ Elphaba said, trying not to smirk. ‘If I was being auspicious, that would mean you were finding my help rather favourable.’

Galinda didn’t have a rebuttal for that. Her cheeks, for some reason, had gone a little pink. Elphaba watched as she scrambled up onto the trunk and grabbed at the box. It must’ve been heavier than she remembered, because she seemed to falter somewhat as she tugged it towards her, and with it came a cloud of dust.

‘ Ah - ach-oo! ’

Elphaba had to bite her lip to stop herself from laughing. She wasn’t sure she’d ever heard Galinda sneeze before. If field mice could sneeze, I bet they’d sound like that, she smirked to herself. How cute - wait, what?

Frowning at that strange little thought, Elphaba surveyed as Galinda struggled to yank the box to the edge of the wardrobe. She held out her arms, waiting for her to pass it to her, but Galinda was quite obviously finding it tricky to pick it up. Not knowing how else to help, Elphaba then did something which, in retrospect, was a terrible idea. She opened her mouth. 

‘Um, good job,’ she said softly, as Galinda finally managed to get a grip on it. ‘You’ve got it.’

Unfortunately for Galinda, the praise seemed to quite literally knock her off balance. She misjudged her pivot, the box held above her head, and she felt herself tipping over before she could even let out a surprised yelp.

‘Galdina - !’

There was a loud thump as the box slammed against the floor, slipping from Galinda’s grip and narrowly missing Elphaba’s head. Galinda lost her footing and flailed, and Elphaba, acting on instinct more than anything else, reached out to grab her. 

‘Whoa, easy!’ Elphaba panted, supporting her weight. ‘Are you okay?’

Galinda’s face was pressed against the curve where Elphaba’s neck and shoulder met, and she seemed to be trembling ever so slightly. Elphaba heard the girl let out a squeak, before she practically threw herself out of the hold and took several steps backwards, pressing herself against the wardrobe. 

‘Um…You’re not hurt, are you?’ asked Elphaba, feeling a little uncomfortable. Galinda’s expression was hard to read. Her mouth was hanging open, and her face was so flushed that even the tips of her ears were tinged pink.

‘I - you - I’m fine!’ she screeched. ‘Where’s the box? You were supposed to take it!’

‘And you were supposed to hand it to me, not launch it at my head,’ Elphaba grumbled, feeling a little affronted that she hadn’t been thanked for saving the girl from face-planting the floor.

‘Don’t get snarky with me! You offered to help!’

‘Galinda, will you calm down for a moment?’ Elphaba said, pinching the bridge of her nose. ‘You’re fine, I’m fine, and the box is fine. Why are you getting so worked up?’

Though Elphaba didn’t think it possible, Galinda’s face went even pinker. 

‘I - because - oh, just get out of my way!’ she stammered, strutting past her to where the box had landed, quite unharmed, on the floor. Elphaba watched as she scrambled to her knees, huffing under her breath, and proceeded to forage through its contents like some sort of disgruntled squirrel readying itself for the winter. 

‘What are you even looking for?’ Elphaba asked, her curiosity getting the better of her.

‘That is absolutely none of you - eep!’

Galinda was interrupted when, after a slow build-up, the storm hit with a shuddering crack of thunder that seemed to shake the walls. Elphaba jumped a little in surprise, but the humour of the situation quickly bypassed the shock.

‘Did -’ she snorted, unable to stop herself from laughing, ‘ - did you just say eep?’

‘I - no, I did not!’ Galinda snarled, but her voice lacked its usual bite. She went back to rifling through the box again, casting out shoes and clothes and stockings like she was digging a hole, now with much more urgency. Rain started to lash against the windows, sending speckles of grey light to dash over the floorboards like ink. 

‘Oh, please -’ Galinda whispered. ‘Where is he?’

‘Where’s who?’

‘I’ve already told you, it’s - oh, Oz!’ 

Another ill-timed thunder strike clipped Galinda’s response, and this time, she let out a squeaking yelp. It was less amusing to Elphaba, who was realising very quickly that Galinda, for all her dramatism, was not playing around. Her hands were starting to shake. Well, this isn't good, Elphaba thought. I think she might actually be scared of storms. 

‘Um, I’ll close the window,’ Elphaba said, at a bit of a loss. She strode over to Galinda’s side of the room and reached up to secure the latch on her window, making sure the rain wouldn’t get in. Galinda loved a gentle breeze to waft through the suite at all times, but the wind was picking up with the rain and the thunder, and her things were at risk of getting wet. At least there wasn’t any -

A bright, quick flash flooded the suite, and Galinda quite literally jumped out of her skin. 

‘ - Lightning,’ Elphaba muttered. She edged back over towards Galinda, who was trembling in earnest, and knelt down opposite her by the box. 

‘I can help you go through your stuff, if you’ll let me,’ she said quietly. Galinda nodded mutely. Elphaba didn’t like how much her hands were shaking. ‘...What is it you're looking for, exactly?’

‘It’s -’ Galinda cleared her throat and shirked Elphaba’s gaze. ‘It’s my…teddy.’

Elphaba’s mouth fell open, but she quickly closed it again so as not to make Galinda feel self-conscious. And to think, I was worried she would call me childish for wanting the light on at night! 

‘Okay,’ said Elphaba coolly. ‘That should be easy enough to find, even amongst all this mess.’

‘It wasn’t messy when I packed it!’ Galinda snapped. ‘It’s just - when you dropped the box a-and I started going through it, everything got all crumpled and disordered and wrong -’

‘ - Galinda, it’s fine,’ Elphaba interrupted, seeing the girl start to work herself up. ‘We can tidy it when the storm has passed. Let’s just try and find this teddy, okay? What does it look like?’

‘He’s a he, not an it,’ muttered Galinda. ‘And he’s a penguin. A pink penguin.’

‘Pink, of course,’ Elphaba smiled - not out of scorn, but fondness. Galinda got the wrong end of the stick. 

‘If you’re just going to laugh at me -’

‘ - No one is laughing,’ Elphaba said. ‘I just think it’s sweet, that’s all.’

‘And now you’re patronising me!’

‘Oz, do you always catastrophise everything?’ Elphaba sighed. ‘I’m not laughing at you, and I’m not patronising you. In fact -’ Elphaba got to her feet, walked over to bed, and stuck her hand under it. She rummaged for a moment, before her fingers closed around something soft, and she pulled out a little black cat. The ears were tufty from use - Elphaba liked to smooth them over her palms when she was troubled - and it had white paws like cotton balls and crooked whiskers.

‘This is - um - this is Soup,’ she said, cringing a little as she held up the ratty-looking teddy. 

Galinda’s face, to Elphaba’s relief, pulled into a genuine smile. ‘... Soup?’

‘I named her when I was three, okay?’

‘And do you have a particular fondness for soup in general, Elphaba?’

‘Of course I do! Soup - soup is an excellent dish! Very versatile!’

‘Uh-huh,’ Galinda giggled. ‘Well, I can’t exactly judge you. Mine - if we ever find him - is called Salmon.’

‘Ah. Big fan of fish, are you?’

‘I named him after the colour,’ Galinda pouted. ‘Which, I think you’ll find, makes a lot more sense than - eek!’ She broke off in a little shriek, slamming her hands over her ears as another bellow of thunder ululated through the room. 

‘Okay, right - let’s find him,’ Elphaba said quickly, returning to Galinda and the box with Soup tucked under her arm. ‘Are…are you looking for him because of the storm?’

Galinda didn’t say anything for a moment. She was breathing a little irregularly, clearly trying to calm herself down. She swallowed thickly, and when she looked up at Elphaba to respond, her eyes were wide and overly bright.

‘Um, yes,’ she admitted. ‘Sorry. I know that’s silly.’

‘It’s not silly to be afraid of storms, Galinda.’

‘I am not afraid, thank you very much,’ Galinda said, affronted. ‘I don’t know who you think I am, Elphaba, but I’m not a child. E-Everyone knows there’s nothing to be scared of.’

‘Right. That must be why you keep yelping when the thunder hits.’

‘I do not!’

Elphaba closed her eyes in irritation. Galinda could be mortally wounded and bleeding out all over the floor and still deny it, if it meant saving face. How exhausting that must be. 

‘Okay, whatever you like,’ she muttered. ‘If you’re not frightened, why exactly did you pick now to unearth this teddy of yours?’

Galinda nibbled her lip, still burrowing through her possessions. ‘...Because - um - the storm jogged my memory, that’s all. My granny gave him to me after a huge storm that toppled several of the trees around the estate. S-So I just sort of…remembered him.’

Elphaba believed most of that story to be true, but she was absolutely certain that Galinda was leaving out a crucial detail - that being she only got the stuffed animal in the first place because she had been scared of the storm. Not that Elphaba was about to argue, though. There was little point in that.

Relenting, Elphaba pushed aside a particularly raunchy bra, blushing - in what world would she have cause to wear this?! - and uncovered a sweet-looking, well-loved penguin. It was wearing a wonky little tophat and a lop-sided bowtie, and looked ever so soft. She picked it up with a tenderness she didn’t expect of herself, and suddenly felt a pang for the quivering girl opposite her. While Galinda was on the cusp of turning 19, the sight of the crumpled penguin reminded Elphaba, with no small amount of sentiment, that she had once been a little girl. She had needed cuddly toys to soothe her and had sucked her thumb like the rest of the children who had out-grown their teddies and moved on from childish habits. And while the current Galinda might’ve been an insufferable airhead with an acid tongue, the girl she had been still existed, somewhere, behind all the pink.

‘Here,’ Elphaba murmured, handing it over to Galinda’s awaiting hands. ‘He’s cute.’

‘He’s old,’ Galinda said, her voice catching a little as she cradled him to her chest.

‘So is my cat. That’s what makes them so special.’

‘Yes,’ Galinda replied, not quite looking Elphaba in the eye. ‘I suppose that’s true.’

*

The storm, to Galinda’s genuine horror, was a relentless one. Even after she and Elphaba had retired for bed, rain was still lashing against the windows and thunder seemed to splinter the sky. She had buried herself under her blankets, trying to muffle the sounds, clutching Salmon to her chest. He was only a little thing, but she nuzzled his soft belly and attempted to save face in front of Elphaba, who was settling down for sleep in her little bed. It was bad enough that Galinda had exposed Salmon in the first place, let alone revealing her intense fear of -

‘ Eeeeek!’ she yelped, unable to stop herself as a particularly loud crack of thunder shuddered through the room. It had been a very long time since she’d experienced a storm this bad. Elphaba had ‘helpfully’ explained that the moist air caused by the surrounding rivers, plus the unusual warmth they’d been experiencing, was the perfect breeding ground for a devastating thunderstorm. And Galinda was not happy about it. 

‘...You okay over there?’ came Elphaba’s voice through the darkness. Galinda nodded under the covers, but then realised Elphaba wouldn’t be able to see her.

‘Fine, yes, fine!’ she said. ‘I just - saw a bug on the bedside table.’

‘Right.’

Galinda pressed her teddy closer to her, shutting her eyes. She wasn’t sure how she was expected to sleep under such conditions, but she had to at least try. She couldn’t afford another restless night, lest her eyebags grow eyebags. Unfortunately, the storm did not pass quickly. Lightning kept shooting across the room, casting strange shadows, and the rain bludgeoned the windows so hard, Galinda was genuinely worried about the integrity of the glass. Shiz was an old institution - could it withstand such an onslaught, or would it crumble?

When a particularly nasty rumble of thunder made Galinda cry out, she heard an additional, quieter thump from the opposite side of the room. Her breathing shallow, Galinda poked her head out from under the covers, and found a figure looming over her. 

‘E-Elphaba!’ she shrieked. ‘What are you - why aren’t you in bed?’

‘Because I’m not going to get any sleep if you keep yelping like that,’ Elphaba said. She then had the audacity to click on Galinda’s bedside lamp, dousing the room in pink. ‘In fact, neither of us are. What’s got you so worked up?’

Galinda, who was seething, glowered at her in what she hoped was with a terribly mean face. This was undercut by the penguin tucked under her chin, of course. 

‘Nothing! I’m trying to sleep, which I can’t do if you’re leering over me like that.’

‘Look, being afraid of storms is nothing to be ashamed of,’ Elphaba said tiredly. ‘Nessa used to hate them as a child. I value my rest, Galinda, and I can’t get any if you’re freaking out.’

‘I am not - Oz!’ Galinda yelped, as another round of thunder echoed across the suite. The lights flickered, and she looked at Elphaba with a pout. ‘...In all fairness, that one was really, really loud.’

‘Is there anything I can do to help?’ Elphaba asked. Her face was strained, like she was holding back a laugh. 

‘You can go back to bed and leave me -’

Galinda was cut off when a dull pop sounded throughout the suite, and the lamp went out. 

‘Oh, has the bulb blown?’ she grumbled, as Elphaba went towards the door. She tried the light switch. Nothing happened. Galinda’s eyes strained through the darkness as she watched Elphaba stick her head out the door, and heard snatches of confused conversations from the other students who shared their corridor. 

‘I think the power has gone out,’ Elphaba concluded, closing the door with a click. ‘That’s a bit of a pain. Do you have any matches?’

‘The - the power has gone?’ Galinda stammered, her blood running cold and completely ignoring Elphaba’s other question. 

‘Yes. Not surprising in a storm like this one,’ Elphaba replied. She sounded a little nervous. ‘In fact, I think it’s closer to a hurricane, given the wind speeds and heavy rainfall. Though it’s a bit unusual for a hurricane to be accompanied by lightning, I must say, so -’

‘ - Elphaba, shut up!’ Galinda interrupted. ‘I don’t want a stupid Meteorology lesson! I - I want it to stop!’

‘Well I can’t do that, can I?’ Elphaba said, walking back to Galinda’s bed. ‘And unless you want to go and bother Madame Morrible at this hour, we’ve no choice but to ride it out and - wait, are you crying?’

‘N-No,’ Galinda sniffled, hastily wiping her eyes. She pressed her lips together, trying to stop her chin from quivering, but it was no use. Even in the low light, Elphaba could see the wetness on her cheeks.

‘Galinda…’

‘It’s nothing. It’s fine,’ she said shakily, making a point of turning away from Elphaba and burying herself deeper into her duvet. It was only when she felt the bed dip, did she fling herself around in horror.

‘What in Oz do you think you’re doing?!’ she shrieked, as Elphaba clambered onto the bed next to her. She didn’t get under the covers, and she folded her arms over her nightdress as if she was disgruntled by the turn of events. ‘Elphaba! Get out!’

‘When Nessa couldn’t sleep in a storm,’ Elphaba said, pointedly ignoring Galinda’s obvious hostility, ‘she said the only thing that helped was having someone close by to soothe her if she needed it. We used to count the time between a lightning strike and a round of thunder, and the longer the distance, the further away the storm was drifting. Now, I know you don’t like me, but neither of us are going to get any shut-eye if you can’t settle. So I’m staying.’

‘And what makes you think your presence will soothe me? If anything, it’ll make things ten times worse!’

‘Hm. Is that why you’ve already stopped trembling so much?’

Galinda froze, suddenly feeling very self-aware. Elphaba had hit the nail on the head - the moment she felt her warmth next to her, just shy of nudging her body, she had relaxed a little. That’s…that’s just a strange coincidence! 

‘It’s interesting,’ Elphaba continued, when Galinda didn’t answer, ‘that you don’t like storms, Galinda. I rather enjoy them myself.’

‘That’s not surprising,’ Galinda said savagely, ‘because storms are unpleasant and unlikeable and put a horrible dampener on things, just like you.’

‘You know what? Forget it.’

Elphaba went to swing her legs out of Galinda’s bed, eerily in sync with another thunderclap, and Galinda reacted entirely on instinct. Her hand shot out in the darkness and closed around Elphaba’s wrist. 

‘Wait, no, I’m sorry,’ she blabbered, her chest tightening. ‘Don’t leave. Please.’ Oz, I sound so pathetic. She’s even more likely to go now she’s seen how puerile I am, with my stupid teddy and my stupid fear of storms and - 

‘Okay,’ Elphaba murmured, easing back onto the pillows. Galinda’s grip around her wrist tightened. 

‘That - the counting thing,’ she said, swallowing thickly. ‘How does it work?’

‘You want to try?’

‘I want to have assurance that this horrid storm is going to blow over without ripping up the foundations, yes.’

‘Galinda,’ Elphaba asked, shuffling down a little so she was propped up, but not fully lying down, ‘before we do, I have to ask…what is it you don’t like about thunderstorms?’

‘What’s there to like?’ she spat. She shifted towards Elphaba a tiny bit, before she even realised what she was doing, and got a waft of whatever perfume she used. It’s so…comforting. It’s like that feeling when you see an old friend after a long time, and - wait! No! It’s not! It’s weird and earthy and tickles my nose!

Elphaba chuckled quietly. ‘It’s a matter of perspective, I suppose. But in my case, I guess I find them sort of…reassuring.’

‘I think you might be insane, Elphaba Thropp.’

‘Maybe, maybe,’ Elphaba smiled. ‘I like how loud they are, in truth. My room back home is in a very…um, isolated area of the house, I suppose. When I was little, I used to hate how quiet it was. It was ever so sinister. The storms brought with them a sense of comfort because they filled the silence.’

‘Why was your bedroom so isolated?’ Galinda asked with a frown. She rather had the opposite problem. Her sprawling bedroom - a series of chambers, really - was situated right above the main ballroom where her parents often hosted lavish functions. Galinda rather liked falling asleep to the muffled sounds of music, chatter, and the tinkle of glasses being nudged together in polite toasts. When she got older, she was actively encouraged to show her face. 

‘Why do you think?’ Elphaba scoffed. ‘My father was limiting the chances of any guests spotting me.’

‘...Oh,’ Galinda whispered.

‘Yeah. Oh.’

The niggling feeling of guilt returned to Galinda’s gut. Every time Elphaba revealed a little more about her childhood, she felt a tiny sliver of sympathy claw its way from her chest, wanting to reach out and take her hand. How lonely she must’ve been, to find comfort in storms. 

‘...I hate how noisy they are,’ Galinda murmured before she could stop herself. ‘I - I mean, it’s just…’ she huffed under her breath, trying to articulate why she struggled so much in a storm. ‘There was an absolutely gigantic storm that hit the Pertha Hills when I was quite small. Frottica is right in the centre, and it suffered for it. The storm flattened several trees around our estate. I genuinely thought the sky was about to come down on top of our heads. My parents were hosting one of the local governors that evening, and I…’ 

Galinda trailed off, fiddling with Salmon’s flippers. She didn’t know what had come over her, but hearing Elphaba tentatively reveal something about her own past made her want to, as well. No matter how uncomfortably the story was. 

‘...I was really scared,’ she said, her voice wavering as she remembered. ‘I thought the windows would blow out. I called for Ama Clutch, for the servants, for anyone, but they were all wrapped up in the party. So I went downstairs to find Momsie and Popsicle, but I interrupted their important gathering and they -’ her breath hitched, the memory washing over her with a shudder. 

She remembered the feeling of the banister catching on her sweaty palm. She had been much shorter back then, and had to stretch up to reach it as she stumbled down the stairs, her knees knocking together from fear. Her nose was sore and her throat hurt from crying and calling out for help. Her pink nightdress was damp with sweat. And the thunder echoed spectacularly in the halls, lightning flashing over the garish portraits and busts and sculptures that decorated the entrance way. She wiped her face with her sleeve and followed the sounds of conversation - not at all perturbed by the storm - and managed to find the party. Heads snapped towards her in shock. Who would expect a snivelling child at an important social gathering, where wine was flowing and political secrets were spilled?

Momsie, she had whimpered, weaving in and out of legs, spotting her mother in a grand lilac gown, conversing quite happily with a man she could not remember the face of. Momsie, I think the storm is going to make the house fall down. 

Her mother had a laughed a strange, high-pitched guffaw that made Galinda’s ears hurt. 

Oh, you silly girl! she had tittered, handing her glass to Galinda’s mortified looking father and hastening towards her. Always making a mountain out of a molehill with that active imagination of yours. She whipped her head around, talking to the party guests. We’ll have to knock that out of her, I fear! 

The guests laughed and Galinda’s cheeks burned. She didn’t understand what was so funny. Couldn’t they see the threat they were under? The rain was too heavy, the wind was too loud, and the thunder was going to fracture the walls. Tears streamed down her face and she balled her hands in her nightdress.

I’m not being silly! she whined. I - 

She was cut off when a thunderclap screeched through the room and she cried out, slamming her hands over her ears. She burst into a fresh bout of tears, closing her eyes and willing it all to just stop. 

Galinda, cease this ridiculous behaviour at once! hissed her father, marching over to her and grabbing her wrists, tugging them away from her ears. It’s just a storm. There’s nothing to be scared of. 

But - but - Galinda sobbed, her chest spasming, feeling eyes on her from all angles.

No buts. Come on. 

He had yanked her away, away from the faceless guests, away from her mother. She caught what she was saying - Don’t mind her - she’s just overdramatic - putting on a show - seeking attention - and another sob broke from her lips. 

For Oz’s sake, stop crying! her father snapped, dragging her across the entrance hall. The lights flickered in their sconces, and she nearly tripped over her own feet at the rate he was pulling her along. Her arm ached. Do you know who that was in there? The new Governor of Gilliken. It’s essential we build a rapport with him and establish a good image, and you’ve managed to embarrass us with your hysterics!

I’m s-sorry, Popsicle, I didn’t m-mean to. 

There will come a point when you’ll need to grow up, Galinda , he had said, shoving her towards the back door with no small amount of force. She could smell wine on his breath. And part of that is learning that storms are not something you need to throw a tantrum over. 

He opened the grand double doors that led to the back patio, and a violent rush of wind shot into the hall, making all the paintings shake. Without giving Galinda a moment to protest, he promptly nudged her outside, slammed the doors, and locked them.

She was left out there for an hour. While there was some shelter on the patio from a balcony above, the rain came in sideways, soaking her to the skin. She remembered how cold it had been. How loud the thunder. How terrifying the trees looked, roaring in the dark, toppling into the hedges. She remembered the humiliating flood of warmth running down her legs. She remembered when Ama Clutch, having been charged with letting her back in, had cradled her in her arms and rocked her until she had calmed down. 

It’s alright, little duckling, she murmured, stroking her wet hair. You’re safe. The world is not going to end just because of a silly old thing like a storm, I promise. 

Galinda knew that. She knew that more than ever, now she was older. She knew she was never under any threat - as if Popsicle would ever put me in any danger, after all! - but that didn’t mean she could simply stop the feelings associated with the sound of thunder. The panic, the shame, the abandonment. And it certainly didn’t mean she could stop herself from flinching every time thunder cracked the sky. She had to make do with hiding under her covers and cuddling Salmon, who her granny had given her when Ama Clutch had a few hushed words about what a state she had been in. And she never sought comfort in a storm again

Until that night, when it was offered without judgement.

‘...Oz, Galinda,’ Elphaba said, when Galinda had told her an abridged version of events. ‘Your father seriously locked you outside in a storm? What was he thinking?’

‘He was thinking it would teach me a lesson,’ Galinda mumbled, her voice thick. Her eyes were wet and she blinked them away hurridly. ‘And it did. Not the one he was hoping for, though.’

‘Well, it’s no wonder you’re scared,’ Elphaba concluded. ‘How old were you?’

‘Four.’

‘Gods. That’s…that’s horrible.’

Galinda’s ears pricked up at the shift in Elphaba’s voice. Her stomach churned unpleasantly. 

‘Um, you - you sound cross,’ she gulped.

‘I am cross. But not at you.’ Elphaba let out a sigh, unfurling her hands. ‘...Did it help?’

‘Did what help?’

‘When your Ama Clutch cuddled you like that.’

‘...Yes.’

Galinda heard Elphaba swallow in the darkness. There was a pregnant pause, undercut only by the thunder, and Galinda flinched violently. Then, she heard a gentle rustle, and the feeling of a warm, steady arm being wrapped around her shoulders. She froze. It took her a moment to realise that Elphaba was attempting to cuddle her. She was stiff and awkward and clearly had no idea what she was doing. Galinda’s heart melted.

‘Er -’ Elphaba cleared her throat. ‘Is - is this okay?’

Galinda turned her body so she was facing Elphaba, tucking her face into the crook of her neck, breathing in her scent. 

‘Yes, it’s okay,’ she whispered, her arm stretching over Elphaba’s stomach and curling around her waist. She pushed herself further into her. She felt the soft fabric of Elphaba’s nightdress, and rubbed it between her fingers and thumb. 

They lay like that for a while, Elphaba stroking Galinda’s hair whenever she flinched at the thunder, and they counted aloud in the dark. They didn’t say anything else. Galinda was afraid to, in case it broke the spell. She didn’t know what she was feeling. Panic still surged through her system, but with every tender whisper from Elphaba as they counted the seconds between a lightning strike and a thunderclap, she found herself melting more and more into her side. Before she even realised what was happening, she was nuzzling deeper into Elphaba’s neck, lips just shy of touching the green skin there. I wonder how she’d react if I were to kiss her, just once, just there, just now - wait, what? Why would I even think that?! Don’t be weird! Don’t be weird! 

Eventually, the wind seemed to settle. The loud lashing of rain against the windows reduced to a melodic patter. And Galinda’s chest finally loosened. 

‘...Looks like the storm has passed,’ Elphaba said softly. 

‘Oh, so it has.’

‘Guess we should settle down for sleep.’ Elphaba made to move back to her own bed, but Galinda’s hand shot out to grab her arm.

‘You can stay,’ she blurted out. ‘I mean - that is to say - since the power is out, you won't be able to turn on the lights, and it’s dreadfully perilous to cross the suite - especially from all the mess we made looking for Salmon - and - and -’

‘ - I’ll stay,’ Elphaba said. Her voice was soft. It warmed Galinda to her toes. 

Without saying a word, Elphaba slipped under Galinda’s duvet and lay on her back, her arms folded neatly above the covers. Galinda gulped and rolled over, facing away from Elphaba, and cuddled Salmon. 

‘Goodnight, Galinda.’

I like hearing her say that so close to me. 

‘Yes…Goodnight.’

Chapter Text

Chapter Four: Unwell

Soft hands seared over bare skin. Galinda shuddered, hazy, her eyes fluttering open and wincing at the golden morning light that streamed through the curtains. The world around her was blurry, hard to focus, but bathed in an aureated yellow that seeped into the sheets she was lying on. It was wonderfully calming. Fabric rustled and was shucked off her body, tangling somewhere at her feet.

She felt delightfully pleased and heavy, as if in a luscious dream. Something was digging into the divots of her hips, bared to the warm air of the room, firm and sure and steady, and Galinda lifted her eyes to see where it was coming from. 

Green fingers were pressing into her skin. She let out a gasp at the sight, a flush of heat spreading up from her lower stomach and across her chest, turning her pink. 

‘Elphaba…’ she breathed. 

‘Hush,’ said Elphaba, her voice silken and sweet. ‘Let me…’

Those deft hands trailed lower, lower, and lower still, until Galinda felt her hips rising off the bed in a hurried attempt to get closer. 

‘E-Elphaba, Elphaba,’ she choked, goosebumps prickling over her skin. ‘You…Oh…’

‘That’s it, Galinda,’ Elphaba purred. She lifted herself upwards, a playful hand still lingering, and her face shimmered right before Galinda’s eyes. She was looking at her with such awed resplendence, that Galinda felt her throat tighten with emotion. Moving on instinct, she reached up and captured Elphaba’s parted lips in a deep, urgent kiss, and suddenly her hands were in her hair, tugging at her braids, as Elphaba’s mouth found her throat, her chest, her stomach, her - 

Galinda jerked awake with such suddenness, it was a wonder she hadn’t hurled herself out of the bed. Something akin to a ragged gasp was stuck halfway up her throat, and her heart was hammering furiously in her chest. Her skin felt hot, too hot, and she didn’t need a mirror to know she had flushed a deep pink.

It took her a moment to realise what was different. There was a warm weight trapped under her body. Gulping, Galinda lifted her head up. Apparently, she had been sleeping on top of Elphaba Thropp. 

‘Oh no…’ she whispered. 

While Elphaba had fallen asleep on her back ( and not moved, clearly! What sort of a person doesn’t move in their sleep?!) , she had rolled over sometime in the night and was sprawled over Elphaba’s prone form. Her face had been buried into Elphaba’s neck, one leg hooked over her waist, one arm cast over her stomach. Worse still, Salmon has fallen out of the bed! Hurriedly, Galinda reached down to grab the pink penguin, giving him a little kiss on his beak. Her movement revealed the other issue she had - that being the unmistakable warmth between her thighs. 

Oh no, oh no, oh no . 

Glancing quickly at Elphaba, who was still sound asleep, Galinda slipped out of bed and practically sprinted towards the bathroom, nearly stumbling over the box she’d taken down from the wardrobe the previous night and left in the middle of the room. She felt extremely warm, and as she clicked the bathroom door shut - carefully, so as not to rouse her oblivious roommate - the first thing she did was splash cold water on her face. 

Shuddering, she hauled her head up and blinked at her reflection. She was flushed, as she suspected, and her eyes were wide and bright, as if she’d been looking at something she desired. Water rolled down her cheeks and dripped off her chin, landing in the sink with a soft pat . 

‘Oz…’ she gulped. ‘What in the world was that all about?’

She closed her eyes, flashes of the dream washing over her. It was quickly fading, as dreams often do in the waking world, but the sensations remained vivid. Elphaba’s hair in her hands. Elphaba’s skin pressing into hers. And Elphaba’s mouth -

‘Fuck, fuck ,’ Galinda whispered, pressing the heel of her palm to her forehead. She felt her chest beginning to tighten in panic. She tried to reason with herself, tried to argue that she hadn’t had any time alone since enrolling in Shiz to tend to her needs, or suffer some faceless man to do it for her, and that it was only natural that her desires might manifest in a peculiar way - especially with Elphaba being in her bed. 

No, she thought, her throat tightening. No, it’s not natural. It’s not natural and you know it isn’t, and no matter how open things are here, in Shiz, it is different back home, and Momsie and Popsicle would - 

A tell-tale tingling started to prickle Galinda’s palms. She let out a controlled breath, squeezing her hands into fists and unfurling them, again and again and again. Calm down . No one knows what you dreamt about. Just calm down . 

But she couldn’t. A nasty combination of tiredness, residual stress from the thunderstorm, and the incriminating heat thumping between her legs were pushing her closer to the edge of losing control entirely. Her breaths grew shorter, smaller, tighter. Her vision blurred with unshed tears. And shame, red-hot and scorching, thundered through her body before she could stop it. A shaky whimper tore itself from her throat, and she lowered herself to the floor.

It was just a dream. It doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t mean anything .

Except it did mean something. It meant everything. It meant that all the strange, intrusive thoughts she’d been having about Elphaba since they’d met were part of something bigger. Something frightening. Something she couldn’t deal with.

Galinda clutched at the front of her nightdress. She slumped against the side of the bathtub, blinking up at the small window that was leaking a fresh light. It was still very early. Elphaba likely wouldn’t wake for another handful of hours, if Galinda was lucky. She had time. Time to get a hold of herself. If only her body would cooperate with what her mind was telling it. 

Finding it more and more difficult to breathe, Galinda did her best to try and calm herself down. When she was younger, when the pressure and expectations became all too much for her to handle, she would tug at her hair or pinch herself to distract from the panic coursing through her system. It wasn’t until she became more precious about her hair, and her mother had berated her for the faint bruises she left on her arms, did she stop. But that also meant she no longer had any way to combat what was happening to her.

I can’t breathe, she realised, her blood running cold. I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe, I can’t - 

She bit her lip so hard that it hurt . She found herself thinking about how Elphaba had helped her after she’d broken all that glass. She was so kind. She thought about when she lent her that hideous jumper to cover the mess she’d made of her skirt. She thought about how, just last night, she had comforted her through the storm. But I can’t go to her now. I can’t ask that of her when I had that sort of dream .

‘Fuck, fuck, fuck ,’ Galinda choked out, feeling her eyes bulge as her chest spasmed. She knew she needed to calm down, to breathe , but it seemed impossible. It was startling to her that something which came so easily had suddenly betrayed her. Her lungs quite simply felt as if they weren’t able to fill up properly. The only saving grace was that, despite the genuine panic that was scorching through her, Galinda knew she would be fine. She wasn’t going to die . She’d gone through it enough times, and always reached the end without serious harm. 

But what if it’s different, this time? What if it doesn’t stop? What if - 

She drew her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, shaking. 

She knew what the dream meant. She wasn’t stupid. But she also knew she couldn’t harbour such feelings - not just because it was Elphaba she allegedly had them for, but because it was certainly not part of the plan. 

‘It’s fine, it’s fine,’ she whimpered, her forehead tipping forward to rest on her knees. ‘It’s not that serious. It’s not real. It’s not real .’

It couldn’t be real. Such feelings were far too dangerous to allow. That was made quite clear to Galinda when she was just a child, fixating on the ebony-haired princess in one of the storybooks her granny read to her. She had been enraptured by the watercolour illustrations, of the girl with red lips and glossy hair, and declared over dinner one evening that she’d much rather marry her than the golden-haired, dashing prince charged with her protection. Her mother had nearly choked on her stew. 

Galinda’s granny, ever her biggest champion, had laughed loudly and patted her on the head. Don’t look so horrified, Larena , she had said to her daughter, who looked ready to drag Galinda upstairs and give her a good talking to. She’s a child. She doesn’t know what she means. 

A few days later, when Galinda went looking, the book had vanished. 

At the time, Galinda had been hurt by what her granny had said. She did know what she meant - the princess was far more beautiful than the prince, with her flowing hair and charming smile and elegant poise - and it was only when she looked back on the incident as a teenager, did she realise that her granny had been trying to protect her. 

It wasn’t that Gilliken was not accepting. Much of Oz embraced all types of love and even celebrated it - Shiz town and the university alone were demonstrative of that. Pfannee frequently spoke of his romantic interest in the dashing boys around campus (he had a new crush every other week), and it was no secret that Crope and Tibbett had been caught locking lips on campus more times than anyone cared to count. Galinda was also fairly confident that her Astronomy lecturer, Professor Treadgold, was involved with the scatty, gap-toothed gardener called Rose. No one was sure if it was her real name or if it was just a placeholder, given her profession. There was even a Queer Society. Galinda had seen the flyer pinned to a wall on her first day - along with adverts for the Amateur Dramatics Society, a Ping-Pong Drop-in, a Rowing Club, and a Choir Club, amongst other things - and her heart had skipped a beat. 

But Frottica was different. Being one of the oldest market towns nestled deep in the Pertha Hills, much of Gilliken’s progressive revolution and quite literally passed them by. Galinda had been rather scandalised when she’d holidayed to a small city that bordered Winkie Country and saw two women kissing. Her father had covered her eyes, and her mother had muttered something disapproving under her breath. We don’t want you getting any peculiar ideas, pumpkin, her father had said, when they got back to their hotel and she asked about it. While her father was well-travelled, she wouldn’t call him open-minded.

Of course, there was only so much Galinda could do to ignore the ‘peculiar ideas’ she had, no matter how much she tried to ignore them. It had started with the storybook princess, swiftly followed by her fascination with her ballet teacher. Then there was Hellie Sinclaire - she was two years above Galinda at school, and what she pretended to be simple idolisation morphed into something more as she grew up. She liked everything about Hellie; the way she spoke, the blue of her eyes, the sound of her laughter. She liked that she was always kind - even in the early days when Galinda had been far from popular - and she liked that she seemed ever so in control of her life. Unflappable, the teachers called her. She was beloved amongst the staff and students alike. 

It wasn’t that Galinda had ever acted on her urges. It was obvious that Hellie viewed her as a cute younger sister, and Galinda didn’t protest. So long as she could be in her presence, she didn’t mind. 

When Hellie graduated and left, Galinda had cried more than anyone else. She didn’t really know why. 

It wasn’t just Hellie, though. There were girls Galinda passed in the street that made her stomach flutter; there were store clerks who smiled at her and made her blush; there were wealthy guests at her parents’ parties that she would stare at for a little too long; and now, it seemed, Elphaba Thropp. 

‘No, no, no ,’ she hissed, increasing her grip around her knees. I should be able to ignore it, by now. It’s happened enough times. And of all the beautiful girls at this school, why her?!

Galinda’s head shot up so fast from her knees that her neck twinged. Beautiful? No, she’s not - she’s not beautiful! She’s repulsive! Abrasive! Ill-mannered! Green! 

Sitting on the bathroom floor wasn’t doing her much good, Galinda decided. Trembling, she pulled herself to her feet, using the sink for support, and struggled through another strained breath. She glared at her reflection. Stupid. You stupid idiot. Getting so worked up over her. Having such disgusting thoughts. Stupid, stupid! 

Gritting her teeth together, Galinda realised she needed a plan. There was no point in berating herself. There was also no point in pretending like the heated dream didn’t happen. The warmth still lingering under her skin was testament to that. And the only reason it did happen is because she was in my bed! Galinda decided. If she hadn’t cuddled me last night or tried to comfort me, I’d never have had such a dream! It only happened because she was close to me! 

Yes! It was the proximity that did it. The fact that, despite it all, the two of them were slowly growing closer, sharing painful memories and fears and childhood cuddly toys. And if that’s the case…I just need to find a way to limit this new-found closeness. 

It was as if the decision had restored Galinda’s way withal. Her chest loosened. Her heart started to come down from its frantic speed. And finally, finally , her breathing returned to normal. 

‘I’ll be fine,’ she murmured, staring at herself very hard in the mirror. ‘Do not slip up. Idiot. ’

*

When Elphaba awoke, rather confused to find herself at the opposite side of the room, there was no sign of Galinda. She yawned and stretched, shuddering a little, and peered over at the open bathroom door. Galinda was rarely absent at that time of morning. Elphaba might’ve been worried, were it not for what happened last night. She’s probably feeling embarrassed, or something .

Elphaba herself felt a little awkward about the whole thing. She slipped out of Galinda’s bed and made it as best she could - why does she have so many blankets and scatter cushions?! - before she carefully placed Salom, Galinda’s penguin, so he rested on the mountain of pillows. She briefly thought about packing away the things still strewn over the floor from the box, but decided she’d already done enough for Galinda for one day. 

As she got ready to head down for breakfast, Elphaba couldn’t help but think about her - the image of her in the storm, tiny and terrified and soaked to the skin, a scrap of pink against the lashing rain and relentless wind. And Elphaba pictured herself, hands pressed to the cool glass of her bedroom window as she stared out at the calamitous weather, happy for the distraction from the repressive silence she endured every night. She wondered, if they’d known each other back then, whether she would’ve comforted Galinda until the storm had blown itself out, leaving the lingering smell of petrichor and a smattering of stolen leaves to litter the paving slabs. She wondered if they might’ve been friends - because, as she was learning, perhaps they weren’t so different after all.

Straightening her black button-up, Elphaba checked her reflection once more for luck, and made her way across campus towards the mess hall. Now, she wasn’t a stranger to people whispering as she passed by - even though she’d been on campus long enough for them to get used to her - but that morning, there was even more talk than usual. She felt the back of her neck growing hot with anxiety. She was used to lingering stares and disgusted comments, but it didn’t mean she’d stopped caring about it. Clenching her fists, she sped up. 

When she opened the door to the mess hall, she knew she wasn’t imagining it when heads seemed to rotate to stare at her. Such a thing was common in her first few days at Shiz, but apparently the novelty of her had worn off. So why are they looking at me now? she wondered, smoothing her tongue over her teeth as if checking whether there was something stuck in them. She kept her gaze glued on the floor as she edged further into the hall, goosebumps erupting on her skin as a wave of mutterings followed her like a malicious predator. She didn’t understand what she’d done differently to elicit such an intense reaction - not unlike her first dinner at Shiz, which had been such a horrible experience that she seriously pondered never taking meals in the hall again. 

She didn’t figure it out until she saw Galinda, a cup of tea clasped in one hand, the other waving in the air as if she was flapping away an insect, holding court. Pfannee was to her left, his hand clasped over his mouth in shock, and Shenshen and Milla were to her right, eyes wide, clutching each other, and lapping up Galinda’s every word. 

‘It was perfectly horrifying!’ she bleated, making sure to gaze at every adoring student who had rallied around her table. ‘I mean, I always thought she had this strange obsession with me, but to slither into my bed like some sort of unwanted creature? I nearly had a heart attack!’

Elphaba’s blood went cold, juxtaposed only by the searing warmth flooding her face. She refused to even glance in Galinda’s direction, head still down, her hammering in her chest, and grabbed a tray. The students closest to her shrieked and leapt out of the way as she reached the buffet, laden with food she no longer had any appetite for, and her ears went hot as Galinda continued her loud spiel.

‘Naturally, I protested,’ she drawled, taking the time to press a hand over her chest as if she was settling a frantic heart. ‘But she simply would not listen. I would’ve tried to remove her by force, but I…’ she trailed off for dramatic effect, letting out a forlorn sigh. ‘...Well, we’ve all seen what she can do. I certainly didn’t want to be the victim of one of her outbursts. It was all I could do but to roll over and pretend she wasn’t there, breathing so close to me.’

‘Oh, Galinda!’ cried Milla. ‘How perfectly terrifying for you!’

‘You should’ve fetched someone,’ gasped Pfannee. 

‘Or called for help!’ another student piped up.

Galinda sighed again, this time casting the back of her hand over her forehead. ‘I would have, my dears, I would have - but that dastardly storm was so loud , I feared my pleas would be drowned out by the wind.’

Elphaba’s hands were shaking so badly, she struggled to fill her glass with juice. She felt more and more eyes finding her, judging her, repeating Galinda’s lies to each other as if they were gospel. Ignore them, she begged herself, hating that her eyes were growing hot. Just ignore them. You’ve done it enough times.

‘Of course,’ Galinda continued, too loudly for Elphaba to tune out, ‘I tried asking her why she suddenly felt so inspired to invade my personal space, and she told me -’ she paused, as if making sure everyone was listening - ‘that she wanted to be close to me! Can you believe it?’

A chorus of laughter burst from the eager listeners, and Elphaba gave up trying to get anything to eat. Her stomach was in knots. Swallowing thickly, she picked up her orange juice and made a bee-line for the door, wanting to leave as quickly as possible. But she’d never been the lucky sort.

‘Oh, Miss Elphaba!’ called Shenshen, her eyes alight with a cruel glint Elphaba was painfully used to seeing. ‘You do know it’s not socially acceptable to sneak into someone else’s bed, don’t you? Especially if the someone else in question finds you perfectly repulsive.’

More laughter. More heat behind Elphaba’s eyes. She blinked hard, glaring at Shenshen and Galinda’s gaggle of admirers, trying desperately to think of something to say. 

‘Aw, is it because you like her?’ cooed Pfannee, fluttering his eyelashes. ‘Is that it, Miss Elphaba? Could you simply not control yourself any longer?’

At that current moment, Elphaba was finding it very hard to control herself, but not in the way Pfannee was insinuating. Magic crackled under her skin, but she fought it back. It had gotten easier thanks to Madame Morrible’s tutelage, though it didn’t mean she had total command. And being cornered in this manner was like exacerbating a childhood wound. She felt fenced in, on edge, ganged up on. Alone. 

‘I mean, I can see why ,’ Milla piped up, shooting Galinda a sickening smile. ‘Everyone on campus is practically head over heels for you!’

‘I’m not,’ said Crope, but no one heard him - apart from Tibbett, who gave him a sweet peck on the cheek.

‘But you?’ Milla continued, slipping off the bench and approaching Elphaba with a pitying expression. ‘Why, it’s a wasted emotion, Miss Elphaba. Galinda wouldn’t go near you with a barge pole, and it’s very poor form to try and invade her space. Have some restraint, won’t you?’

‘She’s probably not capable of it,’ Shenshen snorted, shaking her head. ‘Only civilised people understand how to engage in courtship. I doubt she knows because she’s never had anyone extend their affections to her before.’

‘Never kissed anyone either, I bet,’ smirked Avaric, to more laughter.

‘Or even hugged!’ said Pfannee.

‘Oh, she tried to hug me last night,’ Galinda added, having to speak louder to be heard over the laughter. ‘I’m not sure I’m ever going to recover, in truth - Oz, I wonder if it’s reason enough to take the day off, do you think?’

As the students dutifully called yes!, Elphaba gritted her teeth together. The glass in her hand was trembling so much, it was a wonder she still had hold of it. Walk away , she told herself. Walk away right now. There’s no point. They won’t listen to you. They’ve already made up their minds . She made to shove past Milla, who had gotten in her path, but then Galinda decided to twist the knife. 

‘It’s actually rather sad , you know,’ she said, standing up from her seat and setting Elphaba with a falsely sympathetic gaze. ‘I can understand why she might fixate on me. I mean, my charms aside,’ - she giggled, tossing her hair - ‘for someone so unlovable, it makes sense that she might project her desperation onto someone else. I’m likely merely the latest in a long line of victims.’ 

That did it. 

‘How strange,’ Elphaba said, her voice thick around the lump in her throat, ‘that we interpreted last night so differently, Galinda. Because if my memory serves, you practically begged me to share your bed.’

The students gasped and two pink spots bloomed on Galinda’s cheeks. She held her composure, though, heels clacking as she stalked towards Elphaba, never breaking eye contact.

‘My, this is a worrying development,’ she simpered, hands on her hips. ‘It seems poor Miss Elphaba has started to confuse reality with her sordid fantasies. I bet you’d love me to beg you to share a bed, wouldn’t you?’

Someone wolf-whistled, and Elphaba felt her face erupt with heat. 

‘You know,’ continued Galinda, getting closer, ‘I actually feel sorry for you. It must be hard, harbouring such feelings for me while having to share my space. But this pathetic little crush of yours needs to stop…’ she poked Elphaba in the shoulder. ‘...Because there is nothing in this world that would ever trick me into falling for you.’

‘Rejected!’ someone called, followed by a rumbling of laughter that rivaled last night’s thunder. 

‘As if Galinda would ever look at you twice, Elphaba,’ snorted Pfannee, clapping his hands together. ‘You ought to steer clear of her.’

‘Yeah, keep your horrid hands to yourself!’ Avaric piped up. ‘Wouldn’t want the green coming off!’

‘Now, now,’ giggled Galinda, waving her hands in the air again as if to calm her adoring audience down. ‘Let’s not dwell on it. Elphaba made a mistake, that’s all. I’m sure she’ll learn to control herself in the future.’

Control, Elphaba thought, her ears ringing from the laughter and Galinda’s blatant lies. I’ll give you control, Galinda Upland. Despite the growing moisture in her eyes and the lump hardening in her throat, Elphaba peeled her lips back in a smile.

‘Well,’ she breathed, feeling a sense of satisfaction as the laughter died out to listen to her, ‘I must sincerely apologise if I made you feel uncomfortable, Galinda. You’re quite correct - it is dreadfully difficult for me to share your space. Given you’re an obnoxious brat, I mean.’

Galinda’s smile slid off her face. 

‘You take that back, Elphaba,’ she said, her voice low and dangerous. 

‘Why would I? It’s the truth. And you’re a champion of the truth , aren’t you?’ Elphaba spat. ‘Why not tell your little fans what really happened, hm? About the storm? About everything ?’ For good measure, she held up her glass. Galinda’s eyes snapped to it. A flicker of worry crossed over her face.

‘I - I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ she said. ‘Spinning lies to distract everyone, I imagine? Because you’re aggravated that I’ve exposed your sad little crush?’

‘I don’t have a crush on you, Galinda. Only a saint would be able to stand more than five minutes of your vapid conversation and draining personality.’

‘How rude !’ gasped Milla. Galinda's lips parted just a hair. For a brief moment, she looked hurt.

‘You might find me fascinating enough to fabricate stories to fit your narrative, but I’m not so desperate,’ continued Elphaba, still toying with the glass. ‘I don’t think about you enough to make up lies.’

‘They’re not lies !’ Galinda shrieked, losing her cool and stamping her foot. ‘I - you - you are obsessed with me, you nasty green freak!’

Elphaba’s chest tightened, but she held her ground. If Galinda wants to play this game with me, she needs to learn her lesson . ‘Name-calling, are we? I thought we’d outgrown such petty habits since we’re, you know, adults .’

Galinda was losing control of the room, and she knew it. She glared at Elphaba with pure venom, her face flushed, her breathing quickening. ‘W-Well adults should know better than to crawl into someone’s bed without their permission, don’t you think?!’

‘Hm,’ Elphaba nodded, putting on her best smirk to appear unbothered. ‘And adults shouldn’t be so terrified of storms that they spend most of the night whimpering, but there you were, flinching and snivelling whenever the thunder hit. I suppose you left out that little detail, didn’t you?’

A couple of students laughed at that, and Galinda’s chin quivered. ‘You - you’re lying.’ She spun around to address the gaggle. ‘She’s lying ! She’s just trying to cover up her perverse obsession with me!’ Galinda looked back at Elphaba, her ears reddened and her eyes flashing. She poked her again in the shoulder, harder than before, and Elphaba stumbled back a little. The juice in her glass sloshed. 

‘Careful,’ she snarled. ‘Wouldn’t want my hand to slip, would you? Breaking glass makes such a loud noise, after all.’

Galinda looked as if Elphaba had just slapped her. She took several steps back, eyes widening with a mixture of fear and betrayal, before she seemed to remember where she was. 

‘Just - just leave me alone, won’t you?’ she spat, her fists balling the front of her skirt. ‘Stay out of my way and out of my bed!’

‘It would be my genuine pleasure,’ Elphaba hissed.

‘Pfft, doubt that,’ said Avaric. ‘We all know how much you want to be in her bed, Miss Elphaba. Little bit pathetic, really.’

When the laughter resumed, Elphaba knew she’d lost. Might as well go out with a bang. Her eyes locked on Galinda, who was doing an excellent job at laughing along with everyone else, Elphaba held up the glass, cocked her head to the side, and let it go with a resounding smash . Then several things happened at once. 

A barrage of gasps and shouts rose up from the crowd of gathered students, and Elphaba was fairly confident she heard Nessa, who had been watching the scene unfold from the back of the hall, call out her name in surprise, but Elphaba only had eyes for Galinda. She watched with grim satisfaction as the colour drained from her face, feeling no guilt as the girl flinched at the sound and slammed her hands over her ears, no doubt hurtling back to the memory of her father’s office as he threw champagne flutes and whisky tumblers. 

‘Oh, very mature!’ hollered Shenshen. ‘Won’t you think of the poor cleaners, Elphaba?!’

But Elphaba wasn’t listening. She didn’t feel in the least bit ashamed for the look of terror on Galinda’s white face. It was all she could do but to hold herself together long enough to get somewhere private. 

When she slammed back into the suite, her heart thundering, Elphaba let out a small sob. She hated crying. Objectively, she knew it wasn’t a sign of weakness, but every time she broke down, she felt like she was acknowledging the fact that she did care what other people thought of her, that it did hurt when they called her names, and that despite it all, she had not outgrown the feeling of utter abandonment. 

She gritted her teeth together, trying to stop the tears squeezing themselves from her eyes, and kicked off her boots so hard that they went flying. One of them knocked into the open box on the floor, and her shoulders jerked with another sob. How foolish she was, to think that helping Galinda might change things between them. How stupid she was, to fantasise that they might forge a tentative friendship, fashioned from well-loved cuddly toys and whispered stories of childhood pain. What an idiot I am, to think she might want my company for the joy of it, rather than necessity in a strained moment .

Trying to get a grip on her emotions, Elphaba collapsed front-first onto her bed, feeling for her teddy, the little black cat called Soup. She stroked his ears like she had done in childhood, when the name-calling and taunts and lies became all too much. She supposed it was bound to happen eventually, the tears falling from her eyes and the pain in her chest, because she’d been shouldering a new layer of disdain. It had been so long since she’d ventured beyond Munchkinland, full of residents who were, while cruel, ultimately used to her. Shiz’s students were not. She thought she’d adequately prepared herself for the onslaught. She thought, if she simply reminded herself why she was there - because of her potential - she’d be able to swallow the lump in her throat and ignore the way the stares and whispers and insults made her feel. So small, so lost. So alone. 

But she had not been prepared for Galinda Upland. She had not been prepared for how she would start to feel - a confusing mix of resentment, sympathy, and an alarming urge to take care of her - nor how her blatant rejection might make her feel. Which is so exceptionally stupid , she thought to herself, tears soaking the pillow. But I thought that she…

The thought escaped her because she wasn’t going to allow herself to have it. What did she expect? Friendship? Companionship? Affection ? Just because Galinda might’ve been vulnerable enough to accept her help once or twice, it didn’t change the stark facts: the girl didn’t like her. 

Because no matter what happens, Elphaba thought, burying her face into the pillow, I’m still a freak of nature. I could be the kindest girl in all of Oz, and she’ll only ever see the green of my skin. 

*

The next handful of days were difficult. Galinda seemed to make a point of not being wherever Elphaba was, and in truth, Elphaba was glad of it. She didn't have anything to say to her. She was thrilled whenever Galinda would stay out late, not returning to the dorm until the small hours and smelling like a public house - so much for the ban on drinking on campus - because it made it much easier to ignore her presence. On the odd occasions their schedules aligned and their paths crossed, in class or on campus, both girls didn’t even breathe in the other’s direction. 

Their evenings, when they were shared, were spent in frosty silence. Elphaba stayed in the library as late as she possibly could, and had even spent the odd night in Nessa’s dorm - until her roommate complained and Nessa apologetically explained that it wasn’t feasible. It’s not personal, Fabala, she had said, which was an obvious lie. It’s just after what Galinda said…You know, it makes things difficult.

Difficult indeed , Elphaba thought sourly. Owing to Galinda’s lies, the whole school now believed Elphaba to be some sort of perverted stalker. It was one thing to endure the usual comments on her appearance, and another entirely to weather such salacious and unfounded remarks on her character . Even the teachers seemed to have caught wind of it. Elphaba’s face burned at the very thought. If she had known Galinda would twist what had happened, she’d never would have tried to comfort her during the storm. If only I could turn back the clock , she thought glumly, lying in bed and staring at the ceiling. 

She’d been awake for some time, listening to Galinda singing as she got ready in the bathroom. Sound sleep was a thing of the past, now, for the knot of anxiety at the idea of facing everyone was keeping Elphaba awake at night. She couldn’t recall the last time it had impacted her so badly, and if she wasn’t feeling so rotten and self-conscious about the whole thing, she might’ve been angry. Not that she wasn’t angry, of course - just seeing Galinda’s irritating face made her want to hit something - but it was far from her primary emotion. No, the top spot belonged to something she had never expected: betrayal. That was a feeling she hadn’t experienced in a very long time, because she was simply used to being on her own. She didn’t need to rely on anyone, and therefore, no one could possibly stab her in the back. The last time she recalled feeling such a way was when Nessa had turned a blind eye to the vicious bullying of her old school friend, a poisonous girl called Lucinda. No matter how many times Elphaba had implored Nessa to stick up for her - or, at the very least, not invite Lucinda to their house so she could taunt Elphaba even outside of school hours - Nessa and meekly said that going up against Lucinda isn’t worth the hassle. 

Galinda wasn’t like Nessa, and Elphaba knew that. She had no obligation to her, considering they weren’t family. But Galinda had opened up to her. And Elphaba thought that might’ve meant something.

But, naturally, it had all been thrown back in her face. 

Sighing, Elphaba rolled over and blinked at the clock. Galinda was taking longer in the bathroom than usual, but she wasn’t about to confront her. She wanted a peaceful life at Shiz, after all. At some point, Galinda’s singing had abruptly stopped, and Elphaba hastily closed her eyes to feign sleep when the door flew open. She heard Galinda flouncing across the suite, muttering frantically under her breath, and curiosity got the better of her. She opened one eye and watched as Galinda rifled in one of the numerous sponge bags she kept on top of her chest of drawers, and grabbed a wad of pads. Still muttering, she marched back to the bathroom, with absolutely no consideration for the noise she was making, and Elphaba let out a defeated groan when she realised the girl must be on her period. 

Galinda is bad enough as it is, but a hormonal Galinda? she gulped. May the gods have mercy on me, I suppose.

*

Galinda was a late bloomer. She remembered feeling so frustrated and disconcerted that all of her friends had gotten their periods before her, that harbinger of womanhood, and she used to quite literally pray that she would simply hurry up and get hers. She checked every single morning from the ages of 12 to 16, until finally, on a blessedly sunny day, she’d woken up with an unusual tummy ache. The rest was history. 

Presently, Galinda did not understand why she’d prayed so hard for it. 

Trying not to curl in on herself as a cramp plucked at her insides, Galinda made her way down for breakfast. She knew it was coming, of course, given the state of her skin and general abrasiveness, but that didn’t mean she was prepared when it arrived. It was her first one away from home. And it was not an easy thing to manage. 

I’m afraid it runs in the family, dear, her mother had said, when Galinda was having a particularly bad one and had been reduced to tears. I used to have the most terrible monthlies when I was your age - but I certainly don’t remember kicking up such a fuss about it. Pull yourself together, won’t you? You’re not the only person in the world who bleeds. 

Her jaw twitching as another wave of pain coursed through her system, Galinda entered the mess hall and made her way to her usual table. Pfannee was already there, and he seemed fixated on something to his right. It wasn’t until Galinda got closer did she realise he was shooting daggers at Elphaba. 

‘Good morning, Pfannee,’ she said, plastering on a smile and lowering herself down onto the bench beside him. She wasn’t feeling at all hungry - her period was often accompanied by nausea and sickness - and she decided she could afford to skip breakfast. She would probably end up vomiting before the day’s end, as she usually did when her symptoms worsened, and the emptier her stomach, the better. 

‘Morning, morning,’ he said, a little distractedly. 

‘What are you doing?’

‘I’m on surveillance,’ he said, still not prising his eyes away from Elphaba. She was standing in the queue for the breakfast buffet, mouth set in a thin line, pointedly ignoring the jibes from her fellow students, and Galinda felt her stomach churn for an entirely different reason than pain. 

‘What do you mean, surveillance?’ she frowned, trying not to look at Elphaba.

‘I’m growing concerned that our resident freak has shifted her affections towards poor old Milla,’ he said, pushing his glasses up his nose. ‘I am absolutely certain she was staring at her in History the other day, and now, she just so happens to be standing behind her in the queue! Suspicious, I fear!’

‘Pfannee…’ Galinda swallowed, almost feeling nauseous with guilt, ‘that really isn’t necessary. I already told you that she wouldn’t actually try anything.’

‘If she’s bold enough to get into your bed, there’s no telling what she’s capable of,’ Pfannee declared. ‘One can never be too careful.’

Galinda fell silent, biting her lip. Of course, the whole reason she’d perpetuated the story was so she’d be able to scrub Elphaba out of her mind and increase the distance between them, but not only had that failed, the lies had gotten severely out of hand. What started as a teasing tale designed to get Elphaba’s hackles up had morphed into something much uglier. Galinda had tried to put to a stop it - though she could’ve admittedly tried harder - and before she even realised what had happened, the school had branded Elphaba as even more of a pariah than before. She was called names, each more savage than the last; people would avoid sitting next to her in class; and some even tried to trip her as she walked in the corridors. Galinda thought it was rather childish, until she realised it was entirely her fault.

Not that she’d really tried to fix it, though. If anything, the chasm that had been created between them was making it easier for her to ignore her feelings. Thankfully she’d be free of any additional steamy dreams, which she counted as a win, and the fact she and Elphaba hardly talked meant she didn’t have to get wrapped in anything. That didn’t stop the persistent guilt, though. She had taken to drinking a little too heavily with her friends, expertly avoiding Miss Coddle as they did so, but nothing was able to distract her from it. She sucked in a breath as her insides churned again, a mixture of cramps and guilt, and she gripped her skirt under the table.

A welcome distraction arrived when Shenshen came squealing through the hall and threw herself down in the seat next to her. 

‘You will never guess what,’ she gushed, nearly sending Pfannee’s glass of milk flying and she slammed her bags on the table. Galinda righted it before it could topple over the edge, a crease appearing between her eyebrows. 

‘What?’ she asked brightly, flashing an eager smile.

‘Well - ugh, Galinda, what’s with your…?’ She fluttered a hand around Galinda’s face, nearly catching her nose. ‘You’re so pale! Are you feeling ill?’

‘I -’

‘You’re ill?!’ gasped Pfannee, clapping a hand over his mouth and abandoning his so-called Elphaba surveillance. ‘A disaster! We can’t have you feeling ill !’ Wait here - I’ll go and get you a cup of tea.’

‘Oh, you really don’t have to -’

‘ - Don’t be silly!’ Pfannee interrupted, bouncing up from his seat and barging his way to the front of the queue. Galinda cringed as he shoved past Elphaba, and cringed even more when he loudly proclaimed ‘ coming through, coming through! Our precious Galinda is feeling unwell! Get out of the way, all of you!’ She felt Elphaba’s eyes flit towards her, and her face turned pink.

‘Oh, you look a little better now!’ beamed Shenshen, mistaking the blush for a healthy glow.

‘Er - well, yes,’ Galinda swallowed, watching as Elphaba looked away from her. She tried to pretend it didn’t bother her. ‘A-anyway, what’s new? You seem awfully excited this morning.’

Shenshen’s eyes glazed over, as if she was remembering the fondest dream she’d ever had. ‘Rumour has it that a prince is going to be enrolling here at Shiz! Oh, Galinda, I’ve heard that he’s positively dreamy !’

Galinda’s focus snapped from Elphaba, who had turned away to pour herself a large cup of coffee, and locked onto Shenshen. A prince? A dreamy Prince, no less? What better way to banish her confusing attachment to Elphaba - which hadn’t been banished despite her best efforts - than in the form of a dashing bachelor who was sure to fall head over heels for her, as everyone did? Everyone except Elphaba, though, which Galinda regarded as a real shame - stop it! And she certainly wouldn’t now, she Galinda had branded her as some sort of bed-invading pervert. 

‘Really?’ she gasped, clutching Shenshen’s arm as Pfannee returned, placing the cup of her favourite peppermint tea in front of her. ‘Oh, how positively delightful! Did you manage to get his name, Shenshen, or where he’s transferring from?’

‘They say he’s called Fiyero,’ Shenshen replied, batting her eyelashes. ‘Oz, he even sounds handsome. I’m not sure where he’s previously gone to school, but that doesn’t even matter, since he’s coming here ! Imminently!’

‘How imminently?’ Pfannee said, pushing Galinda’s tea closer to her as if to encourage her to take a sip. 

‘The next few days, according to the gossip mill,’ said Shenshen. ‘Galinda, we simply must prepare! This is too good of an opportunity to miss!’

Shenshen had a point. If the mysterious Prince Fiyero was indeed going to grace the student body of Shiz University with his presence, then they’d be swarming him like a cloud of gnats. She couldn’t afford to let the opportunity pass her by. She had to make a good impression. After all, it wasn’t as if any of the other dreary students had caught her eyes. All except El - no!

‘You’re totally right, Shenshen!’ Galinda declared with a flourish. ‘Let’s reconvene in your dorm after class and plan the most perfect outfits for the occasion!’

‘Everything looks perfect on you, Galinda,’ Pfannee simpered, his eyes shining.

‘Oh, I know,’ she said, letting out a twinkling bout of laughter. ‘But it pays to be prepared.’ Especially since I need to pull this off . Time to make sure I up my game.

Unfortunately, given the timing of her period, Galinda’s game was nonexistent. It was getting worse by the hour. She squirmed and winced in her seat as she tried to take notes in Dr Dillamond’s dreary seminar. She couldn’t eat lunch for fear she’d throw it up over the table. She was forced to use the public restrooms - gross, gross, gross! - else she’d have had bigger problems. And come her Linguification class later that day, Galinda knew she wouldn’t be able to hide it much longer. It wasn't just the cramps - she was rapidly developing a migraine on top of everything else.

‘Milla,’ she whispered, almost grey with pain as they made their way to Class Block C, ‘would you please pass on my apologies to Professor Lincoln? I’m afraid I have some matters to attend to.’

Milla looked at her in surprise. ‘Um, okay. But you know Professor Lincoln is planning a progress test soon, right? It’s probably not a good idea to skip if you can help it.’

Galinda closed her eyes as a particularly vicious cramp twisted in her gut, and she did her best not to react. ‘Y-Yes, I know that. But it simply can’t wait.’

‘What is it?’ frowned Milla.

‘Just - some things from home,’ Galinda said vaguely, coming to a halt and wanting nothing more than to brace herself against the wall. 

‘Okay, I’ll let him know.’ Milla peered more closely at Galinda, her eyebrows knitting together. ‘Say, are you quite alright, Galinda? You’re looking a little green around the gills.’

Galinda forced a smile on her face. ‘Fine, I’m fine! Thank you, Milla. I - I’ll catch you at dinner, I’m sure.’

Without giving Milla a second to question her further, Galinda bolted. She couldn’t allow anyone to know she wasn’t feeling well, least of all because of her period. All she wanted was to close the curtains, slap a hot water bottle over her throbbing stomach, and curl up in bed.

By the time she was back in the suite, she was sweating from pain. Her hair was stuck to her forehead and her stomach was hurting so much that tears were starting to burn behind her eyes. Mercifully, Elphaba was in the Linguification seminar and therefore not in the suite - thank Oz for mandatory first year classes - so she was able to rip off her uncomfortable dress and change into her nightgown without an audience. Groaning, Galinda shuffled over to the curtains and drew them shut. Her head was throbbing to the point where even the gentlest light was making her eyes hurt. She then crawled into bed, blindly reaching for Salmon and clutched him to her chest. 

‘ Ow ,’ she grumbled to herself, curling up in a ball under the covers. Unfortunately, there wasn’t much to be but wait for it to be over. She had practically begged her mother to take her to see a doctor when she was 17, a year after enduring the agonising cramps, vomiting and headaches every month, because she was certain it wasn’t normal. Her mother had only relented when Galinda, sapped of iron from the blood loss, quite literally passed out in front of the fireplace one unfortunate Lurlinemas.

You really do know how to get your own way, don’t you? she had complained as they rode in the carriage to the local surgery. You’re lucky we didn’t have any guests over, Galinda. You’ll do well to get a hold of yourself in the future if this keeps happening.

Galinda, shame-faced, had just nodded along. Her mother had the distinct ability to make her feel like everything was her fault. She didn’t mean to faint. It happened so quickly that she hardly knew what had occurred until she awoke to Ama Clutch fanning her with a newspaper. 

The doctor, while sympathetic, was ultimately unhelpful. Dysmenorrhea, she’d called it. She prescribed Galinda some painkillers and gave her a blood test to check her iron levels, but she was sent on her way with some unhelpful advice about planning around it and keeping on top of things . Of course, this only cemented her mother’s argument that Galinda was being ‘dramatic’. They’ll give anything a medical name these days, even something as common as periods. No wonder your generation is less resilient, dear. 

So, Galinda would dread the arrival of her period each month even more than one normally did. It was easy enough to wear more make-up to cover the sorry state of her skin, and practice her best smile to combat her foul mood, but the pain was another matter. It made her joints ache and her stomach twist and her head throb. But she learnt to disguise it. She had even been sick in the bushes at her old school once, rather than risk being caught by her roommates. And it wasn’t just her periods that she had to endure in silence; any whiff of illness, be it the common cold or something more grievous, she would slap on her make-up, construct her smile, and go about her day as if nothing was amiss. It was expected of her, after all. 

Sometimes, though, she just couldn’t.

Letting out another pained groan, Galinda was vaguely aware that she was going to be sick. She threw off the covers and stumbled towards the bathroom, bent double, and landed on her knees by the toilet bowl. With a shuddering retch, she sicked up what few liquids she had in her system, her throat burning with bile, and she desperately tried to scrape her hair off her face to free it from the onslaught. She’d gotten pretty good at it - being unwell in silence was a skill of hers - but it didn’t make it any less tricky. Shaking, Galinda spat out some soured saliva into the toilet bowl, and pressed her palm to her aching forehead. What in Oz did I do to deserve this? 

*

‘Elphaba?’

‘Shenshen,’ replied Elphaba, utterly deadpan. She didn’t even bother looking up from the book she was reading. She had hoped that she might get some peace and quiet in the library of an evening - especially since the majority of her usual harassers were practically brain-dead and seldom found themselves amongst the books - but it appeared that Shenshen had sought her out.

‘Have you seen Galinda?’ she asked. 

That got Elphaba’s attention. She glanced up from The Great Drought: Hardship & Toil , and raised a single eyebrow.

‘Contrary to her tall tales, I’m not actually obsessed with her - so no, I haven’t seen her.’

Shenshen glared at her. ‘Oz, there’s no need to be so abrasive.’

Abrasive? Ha! 

‘You’ll forgive me for being somewhat testy, given recent events,’ Elphaba said, her jaw twitching. ‘Just an hour ago you called me - what was it - an unhinged degenerate ?’

Shenshen looked suitably guilty for a moment, her face going a little pink. ‘Er - right. Yes. I suppose I did.’

‘I’m so glad we’re on the same page.’ Elphaba made a show of returning to her book, but Shenshen continued her attempts at conversation.

‘It’s just -’ she burst out, as if she was finding it difficult to even speak to Elphaba if she wasn’t being rude, ‘ - she was acting odd at lunch, and Milla said she skipped out on her Linguification seminar. She was a no show at dinner, and she’s - she’s not at our usual haunts.’

Elphaba massaged her temple. She did not want to deal with one of Galinda’s lackeys. ‘Fascinating. Did you try the suite? You know, where she lives?’

‘Oz,’ muttered Shenshen, clearly biting back an insult. ‘Of course I did, Elphaba. That was the first place I looked. But there was no response. And the door is locked.’

‘About time, too. I’ve been telling her not to leave it open for all and sundry to wander inside.’

‘ Elphaba ,’ Shenshen implored. ‘I’m worried about her, okay? It’s not like Galinda to simply disappear. She has a very palpable fear of missing out, you know. Dinner aside, we were supposed to meet in my dorm to discuss Prince Fiyero’s arrival and plan our outfits.’

Elphaba refrained from rolling her eyes. She had heard of the impending arrival of the Winkie Prince, and she couldn’t care less. Of course Galinda has made it her personal business, though. 

‘...Plan your outfits? For some guy you don’t even know? Are you joking?’

‘Just because you have the fashion sense of a colour-blind toddler and don’t seem to care how you look, it doesn’t mean the rest of us do,’ Shenshen sneered. ‘And anyway, we want to make a good impression.’

‘If that’s the case, then you might want to refrain from throwing around petty insults to people who are quite literally minding their own business,’ Elphaba grumbled, glancing down at her dress of choice for the day - a conservatively styled navy button-up with a high collar. Nothing wrong with it, if you ask me! 

Shenshen let out an impatient huff. ‘Oh, whatever. I just - Oz, Elphaba, will you please go and check on her? You have a key, don’t you?’

‘Yes, I have a key. Since I live there. It’s how I come and go. Quite the revelation, really.’

‘Then get your nose out of that book for two seconds and go and check on her ,’ Shenshen hissed, through gritted teeth. Elphaba couldn’t help but find some grim amusement in the situation. 

‘What makes you think she’s even in there? If she didn’t answer, she’s probably somewhere else,’ Elphaba shrugged.

‘ Where ? She’s not in the sun room or the mess hall, nor the quad or the gardens or the forest! She’s nowhere!’

‘And she wouldn’t be caught dead in here,’ Elphaba said with a smirk. ‘But I think you’re getting worked up over nothing. We are allowed to leave campus, you know. She has her own boat, for Oz’s sake. She might’ve gone into town.’

‘Alone? You know she doesn’t like going anywhere alone.’

As much as it irked Elphaba to admit it, Shenshen had a point. Galinda seemed to like having people around her at all times - probably to pay her compliments and clap whenever she opens her stupid mouth - so it seemed very unlikely that she’d stray off campus without one of her devoted followers to trail after her. Elphaba let out a vexed sigh and slammed her book shut. She knew she wasn’t going to get any peace unless she went up to the suite.

‘Fine,’ she said, stuffing the massive tome in her messenger bag. ‘It’s to be the most thrilling investigation of the century, I’m sure. Missing person found in her room , or something.’ She cocked her head to indicate for Shenshen to follow her.

‘Oh, I’m not coming,’ she said, as if such an insinuation was completely ridiculous. ‘Galinda might not be around, but I still need to prepare for the prince.’

‘What?’ snorted Elphaba. ‘But I thought you were worried about her?’

‘And now I know she’s in your safe hands, there’s no need to be,’ she smirked. ‘I’ll catch you later, Elphaba. Try not to sneak into anyone else’s bed in the interim, won’t you?’

Seething, Elphaba marched off, her hands squeezing around the handle of her bag. So much for being her friend, she thought to herself. Elphaba always suspected that many of Galinda’s companions spent time with her solely for clout - it’s the only logical explanation, given she’s an emotional storm drain and can’t hold a conversation unless it’s about her - but it struck her as strange that Shenshen would sooner wash her hands of the problem and focus on something as basal as the prince. 

She reached the suite quickly enough and let herself in without knocking. Immediately, she was hit with the sharp smell of vomit.

‘G-Galinda?’ she called out tentatively, putting her hand over her nose. It was dark in the room, all the curtains drawn, and the fire had died in the hearth. She clicked on the light and spotted a Galinda-shaped lump under the covers of her large bed. 

‘Hey…’ she said, her voice muffled from her hand. ‘What’s the matter? Are you sick?’ She prodded the lump and got a sad groan in return. 

Had Galinda not been such a menace in the last few days, Elphaba might’ve been a bit gentler. But she had no time for it, and certainly no sympathy. 

‘ Galinda ,’ she hissed, grabbing the covers and yanking them back. ‘Are you on the cusp of dying, or just being - oh. Oh .’

And Elphaba immediately felt terrible. 

Galinda was curled up in a tight ball, her body almost rigid, and there was a red stain on the back of her nightdress. Whether or not she had noticed didn’t seem to matter - she was too busy fighting back the pained sobs that were trying to burst from her lips. She looked awful , utterly devoid of colour and covered in a sheen of sweat. Her hair was staticky from the covers and dabbled with sweat - and, to Elphaba’s horror, sick. Something was very wrong.

‘...Okay, don’t worry,’ she said quickly. ‘I’ll go and get the nurse -’

‘ - No ,’ Galinda choked out. ‘D-Don’t get anyone. I’m fine. It’s - it’s always t-this bad the first couple of days, so I just need to - ow . My tummy .’ She cut herself off with a mournful wail. 

‘Galinda, it is not fine. Periods shouldn’t be this debilitating,’ Elphaba said. 

‘It’s nothing. M-Momsie said - oh, fuck .’ She groaned again, her body tightening for a moment, and Elphaba was at a loss. 

‘...Right, well it’s clearly not nothing, considering you’ve bled all over your sheets and apparently thrown up, judging by the smell,’ she said stiffly. ‘But what do you usually do to deal with it?’

Galinda was quiet for a moment. Though half of her face was pressed into the pillows, Elphaba saw as fresh tears leaked from her eye and ran down her nose. 

‘I’m sorry,’ she whispered. ‘I didn’t m-mean to. I’m sorry, I’m sorry -’

‘ - You don’t need to apologise,’ Elphaba said. Well, she does , but not about this . ‘Just tell me what I can do to help. Do you have painkillers? Or use a hot water bottle?’

‘U-Um’ she sniffled, ‘yeah. But I c-couldn’t find my water bottle and I’m not allowed to take any more pills because of the d-dose.’

‘Where are they?’

Weakly, Galinda lifted a shaking hand and pointed to her vanity. Elphaba went over and scanned through the ridiculous amount of bottles and serums - some of which she actually recognised, since she made good on her promise to replace the ones she smashed - and found a brown bottle that looked somewhat medical. She read the ingredients, nodded, and went over to her side of the room. She looked through one of her bags and produced a different bottle of pills, before returning to Galinda.

‘You can take two of these instead,’ she said. ‘Your painkillers are anti-inflammatory, according to the ingredients, whereas these ones are acetaminophens. You can mix them.’

‘H-How do you know so much about medicine?’ Galinda asked, struggling to pull herself upright.

‘I got very good at taking care of myself,’ Elphaba muttered darkly. ‘I’ll go and get you a glass of water.’ She picked up the (predictably) pink drinking glass Galinda kept on her bedside table, and ventured to the bathroom. Galinda at least had the foresight not to miss the toilet bowl when she was throwing up, but hadn’t done a very good job at cleaning up. Grimacing, Elphaba took the time to pour down half a bottle of bleach, before she filled the glass and returned.

‘Here,’ she said, handing her the glass without ceremony. She unscrewed the bottle and tipped out two white pills. ‘You can take these every four hours.’

‘Thank you,’ Galinda said meekly. Now she was propped up on the pillows, Elphaba could see how pinched her expression was, how swollen her eyes, and how flushed her cheeks. Oz, she really isn’t handling this very well. 

‘I’ll see if I can find you my hot water bottle,’ she said, as Galinda struggled to swallow down the pills. ‘But…’ she trailed off, feeling a little awkward. She had personally only bled through her clothes on one occasion when she was younger, since her own periods were generally manageable, but she remembered the acute feeling of embarrassment. As upset as she was with Galinda, she didn’t really want to make the girl feel any worse . ‘...Um, you might feel a bit better if you cleaned up first. Do you…do you think you’re able to?’

Galinda closed her eyes for a moment, a stray tear slipping off her lashes and landing on her cheek. Elphaba felt the peculiar urge to wipe it away. 

‘I feel a bit…unsteady,’ Galinda murmured. She shifted a little under her sheets and pulled a face, no doubt feeling the damp warmth of blood. She pressed her lips together, looking thoroughly uncomfortable. ‘...But also incredibly gross. You’re probably right.’

‘Wow. Can I get that in writing?’ 

‘Hilarious.’

‘Look,’ Elphaba said, wincing along with Galinda as another spasm of pain twisted her expression, ‘let me run the bath for you, okay? And drink the rest of your water. You might be feeling dehydrated.’

Galinda narrowed her eyes in suspicion. ‘...You’re b-being nice. Why?’

‘Because it’s quite hard not to be when you're clearly in a lot of pain,’ Elphaba said.

‘Goodness, is that all it took?’ Galinda mumbled. 

Elphaba ignored her. She went back to the bathroom, which now smelt strongly of citrus and chemicals from the bleach, and stretched over to turn on the copper taps. The pipes in the walls shuddered as she did so, and she imagined them jumping in their brackets. Shiz’s bones were old, but she’d gotten used to its noises in the handful of weeks since enrolment. Sighing, Elphaba appraised the selection of bath salts and bubbles Galinda kept on the shelf. She had ‘generously’ left one dusty corner free for Elphaba’s use, where there sat a single vial of bath salts Nessa had given her one birthday. Though it was sorely tempting to lean into her spiteful feelings and use that rather than one Galinda favoured, Elphaba decided against it. She selected a bottle that smelt of strawberries and cream - that explains the aroma she carries around, then - and dumped a capful in the water. 

As the tub filled with bubbles and steam started to unfurl in the room, Elphaba returned to the bedroom and found Galinda had stood up, albeit wobbly. She seemed to be trying to tug off her bloodied sheets. The stain on her nightdress was worse than Elphaba had thought. She really must be bleeding heavily , she thought, biting her lip. She walked over to her.

‘Don’t worry about that right now,’ she said, gesturing to the sheets. Galinda jumped in surprise. 

‘N-No, it’s fine,’ she stammered, stretching over to untuck the undersheet. ‘I can’t just leave it like this. I was raised better than that. It’s disgusting.’

‘It isn’t disgusting. It’s natural.’

‘Elphaba, don’t patronise me,’ Galinda snapped. ‘Just let me - ow, ow, ow . My tummy - fuck. ’ She doubled over with a hiss of pain, clutching her abdomen. Bracing her free hand on the mattress, Galinda remained in that position for several minutes, all gritted teeth and colourful language, and Elphaba left her to it. Instead, she went looking for her hot water bottle. It wasn’t hard to find - unlike Galinda, she didn’t have a copious mountain of possessions - and she placed it on top of Galinda’s chest of drawers.

‘For after your bath,’ she said, nodding at it. ‘Which, by the way, is probably ready for you now. Go and hop in.’

Galinda nodded tightly, almost green from the pain. When she straightened up, she swayed, and Elphaba moved on instinct. She flung a hand around Galinda’s narrow waist, and she landed on her heavily, letting out a sharp gasp.

‘Oh Oz , I’m sorry, I just - gods, ow ,’ she groaned, her forehead creasing. 

‘It’s okay,’ Elphaba said, as they hobbled towards the bathroom. ‘Are you feeling light-headed? Have you eaten?’

‘No appetite,’ Galinda said grimly. 

‘Well, that’s probably not helping things.’

‘Forgive me, Doctor Elphaba, but I quite literally cannot stomach anything at the present moment,’ Galinda spat. Her tone was so rude that Elphaba deeply considered dropping her.

‘I’m just saying,’ she muttered. ‘Are you okay to bathe? You’re not going to drown, are you?’

‘I will do my very best.’

Once in the bathroom, Galinda sat down heavily on the closed toilet seat and pressed her face into her hands. Elphaba shifted on the spot.

‘Right, I’ll leave you to it,’ she said. ‘If you need anything, I’m just outside. Shout if you do start drowning.’

Galinda let out a dry, humourless laugh. ‘My hero. But I’ll be f-fine, Elphaba. I just want to get clean. I think…’ she grimaced, not looking at Elphaba. ‘I think there’s puke in my hair .’

‘Yeah, there is,’ Elphaba shrugged, and Galinda groaned. 

‘Oz, I bet you’re loving this,’ she mumbled, her voice so low and wounded that Elphaba wondered if she even meant to say it. 

Elphaba sucked in a breath. ‘...I’m not actually, Galinda. Believe it or not, but I don’t like seeing anyone in this much discomfort. Even you.’

When Galinda didn’t say anything, her face still in her hands, Elphaba decided that was her cue to go. But she wasn’t going to stray too far, not when Galinda seemed like she could faint at any moment. Just as she was about to shut the door, though, she heard Galinda call out.

‘...Thanks for the bubbles,’ she said softly. ‘They’re my favourite.’

A smile pulled at Elphaba’s lips, despite herself. ‘I thought so.’

*

A little while later, Galinda emerged from the bathroom in her fluffiest towel, and found her bed had been made up with fresh sheets. Salom was waiting for her right in the centre, along with a clean nightdress folded neatly beside him.

‘Oh, Elphaba,’ she swallowed, glancing over to where her roommate was crouched by the fireplace, poking encouragingly at the embers. ‘You…You didn’t have to do all of this.’

‘Yeah, you’re damn right,’ Elphaba said, straightening up with a groan. She’s such an old man , Galinda thought fondly. ‘I’ve been warming the water for the bottle.’ She nodded to the clay teapot she used for her morning brew, which was hanging above the flames. ‘Shouldn’t take much longer, now. How are you feeling?’

Galinda gathered up the nightdress and paused. ‘Um, yeah, a bit better. Clean, at least.’ She was feeling less disgusting, now the blood had been scrubbed from her thighs and the vomit rinsed from her hair. The heat from the bath had also helped with the cramps, for a while, but she knew she needed the hot water bottle quickly if she was going to continue to soothe them. ‘Let me get out of my towel.’ 

‘Sure you want to change in here? Given I’m such a pervert?’ Elphaba muttered bitterly, her eyes blazing with the reflection of the fire.

Galinda winced. ‘...Er, it’s fine. I’ll go behind my wardrobe.’

‘Fantastic.’

As she dropped her towel and pulled the nightdress over her head - she had grabbed some fresh underwear from the chest of drawers - Galinda felt another wave of guilt thunder through her system. She had to say something to address the elephant in the room. Elphaba had absolutely no obligation to help her, after everything that had happened, but she did. And that meant something. 

When she slipped out from behind the wardrobe, swallowing down another whimper of pain as her lower back twinged along with a severe cramp, Elphaba was steadily filling up the hot water bottle for her. 

‘El - oh, shit , Oz -’ Galinda panted, a wave of nausea passing over her. 

‘What’s the matter?’ Elphaba said, her head snapping up.

‘I think I’m going to be -’

And she bolted back to the bathroom as sickness burned up her throat. She rushed to pull back her hair as her body convulsed and she started to throw up the water she’d drunk. Her eyes streamed from the sensation, acid stinging the back of her teeth, and she desperately scrambled to stop her newly-clean hair from straying into its path. But a hand was already there.

‘It’s okay,’ Elphaba soothed, rubbing her back and dragging her hair back for her. ‘Just get it out of your system. Are you sure this isn’t a sickness bug?’

‘N-No, it’s fine. It’s fine. It just happens sometimes when I - ugh ,’ Galinda moaned, shuddering as her body betrayed her yet again. She wasn’t sure it could even be classed as vomit, anymore, rather a nasty mixture of water and stomach acid. Elphaba, to her credit, didn’t so much as grimace. She just made sure Galinda’s hair was out of the way and kept stroking her back until it was over. Galinda fell back with an exhausted groan. She pressed a hand over her mouth.

‘I - I need to brush my teeth,’ she whimpered. 

‘No, you need to rest. Get up,’ Elphaba said, not unkindly.

‘But my breath -’

‘ - It’s just me.’

That’s the problem! Galinda thought miserably. Then again, Elphaba had seen her bloodied, sweaty, and vomiting. There was little else she could do to embarrass herself. 

Once she was back in bed, Elphaba refilled her glass and handed her the hot water bottle. It was dark. Galinda had no idea what time it was - she had spent the majority of the late afternoon and evening fighting off tears and trying to bite back her groans of pain - but it must’ve been after 10pm, since the corridors were quietening down as they often did on a weekday. 

‘That should stay warm for a while,’ Elphaba said, as Galinda settled the hot water bottle against her spasmodic stomach. ‘Do you think we should put a towel down? In case you…’

Galinda felt her face heat up in embarrassment. ‘Um, maybe. Sorry. I’m really sorry. It - it’s just my tummy was hurting so badly and I couldn’t bring myself to -’

‘ - Galinda, will you stop apologising for feeling unwell?’ Elphaba said firmly. ‘It doesn’t matter . I’ll grab a towel. There should be a spare in the bathroom cupboard.’

Watery-eyed, Galinda watched Elphaba as she went into the bathroom. She took a little longer than expected, and it wasn’t until the sharp smell of bleach penetrated the lingering scent of strawberries and cream, did Galinda realise she was cleaning up the toilet. Her face burned even more. How could I have gotten myself into such a preposterous predicament? She shouldn’t have to take care of me! Pathetic. Oz, I’m pathetic. 

‘Here, tuck this under you,’ Elphaba said, returning with the towel. ‘And take as many of my painkillers as you need. You can have another dose in -’ she glanced at her watch - ‘just under three hours. Hopefully you’ll be in the land of nod by then, but I have a suspicion it’s going to be a long night.’

‘It usually is,’ Galinda whispered mournfully, sliding the towel under her backside. ‘The pain keeps me awake.’

‘Oz, Galinda,’ Elphaba sighed, rubbing her temple. ‘Surely you know that isn’t normal. Periods shouldn’t have this much of an impact on your life, especially since they’re monthly.’

‘It’s…It’s fine,’ she mumbled. 

‘No it’s not.’

‘Elphaba, please,’ she said, flinching again, ‘there’s no point in discussing it. I’ve already visited the doctor back at home, and she just said to take painkillers.’

‘Then see a different doctor,’ Elphaba said. ‘Or even a nurse. There’s one on campus, you know.’

‘Yes, I do know,’ Galinda said crankily. ‘But I’m kicking up a fuss over nothing. Momsie said it’s just something I’ll have to live with. And anyway, this one is particularly bad.’

‘Your Momsie is a healthcare professional, is she?’ replied Elphaba.

‘No, but she - ow - she told me not to keep going on about it.’

‘Galinda, there’s nothing wrong with saying something if you’re in pain or if you’re unwell,’ Elphaba said, sounding increasingly exasperated. ‘You can’t be expected to simply get on with it when it’s causing you this much grief.’

‘Of course I just need to get on with it,’ Galinda hissed, reaching for Salmon and rubbing his flippers between her fingers. ‘I can’t - I can’t -’ she let out a short breath as the pain intensified, and Elphaba shook her head.

‘This is utterly ridiculous,’ she muttered. 

‘Why…’ Galinda whimpered, ‘why are you getting cross at me?’

She watched as Elphaba’s eyes widened, before they softened a little. They’re such a beautiful green, really. The colour of emeralds . And in her exhausted, hormone-riddled mind, she didn’t even dismiss the thought. 

‘I’m not cross at you, Galinda,’ Elphaba said sincerely. ‘I just find it frustrating when people don’t take proper care of themselves or dismiss their symptoms, that’s all. Especially since -’ she cut herself off, her forehead creased. 

‘Since what?’

‘...The reason I know so much about medicine is because I had to learn quickly,’ Elphaba said. ‘I - when I was younger and I got sick, I just sort of had to…take care of myself. My nanny did what she could, but had Nessa to think about, and - Oz, I don’t know why I’m telling you any of this.’ Elphaba let out a huff, as if she was frustrated at herself. 

‘Tell me, I asked,’ said Galinda, her tone gentle. 

‘I suppose I had no choice but to try and keep myself the paragon of health. Every sniffle, I tried to stop before it developed into a cold. Every stomach ache, I took stock of what I was eating to see if I could stop it. Every twinge of pain, I figured out which pills worked best. And as for my periods, well,’ - Elphaba gave her a guilty, tentative look - ‘they’re not as bad as yours.’

‘So,’ Galinda murmured, feeling her heart pang for the lack of care Elphaba had evidently experienced growing up, ‘when people like me just try to pretend like nothing is wrong…’

‘I can get a little irate, yes,’ Elphaba nodded, ‘because I would never have allowed it to get to that point. Oz, I was making my own doctors’ appointments by the time I was seven.’

‘Goodness. I couldn’t even work the phone until I was in my late teens.’

Elphaba chuckled at that, and Galinda glowed. It didn’t last long, though, because a cramp crept on her and made her snarl in pain. She pressed the water bottle more firmly against her stomach. 

‘I guess I’m trying to say that it isn’t personal, Galinda,’ Elphaba said, looking a little concerned at the expression of discomfort on her face. ‘I just wish you’d take better care of yourself, that’s all. You were pretending to be fine even when you were throwing up, for Oz’s sake.’

‘Yes, well. There’s such a thing as learned behaviour.’

Elphaba looked at her curiously. ‘Oh?’

‘...I feel uncomfortable with you looming over me like that,’ Galinda said, shifting a little to her left. ‘Come and sit with me if you really want to know.’

‘Are you certain you want me in your bed? Considering you made such a huge deal over it the last time,’ Elphaba challenged, and Galinda’s face fell. 

‘Elphaba, I…’ she trailed off, biting her lip. ‘...I’m sorry, okay? I really am. I just - Oz, I don’t even know. I was feeling all wound up and embarrassed after the storm b-because - um -’ she couldn’t tell Elphaba about the dream, since she’d sooner drop dead, but she owed her something. ‘ - Because no one has seen me like that for - for a long time. It was terribly confusifying for me to be that…vulnerable. So I suppose I just, um, lashed out. But then it got out of control and I - I didn’t mean for it to happen that way.’ She was aware she was rambling, but she could hardly stop herself. She gripped at the sheets, unable to meet Elphaba’s gaze.

‘...You did mean it though, Galinda,’ said Elphaba. 

‘What?’

‘I understand that you might not have meant for it to spread the way it has, but…’ Elphaba let out a tired sigh. ‘You did make the decision to twist what happened. You decided to tell everyone over breakfast, wishing for an audience, and you did nothing to stop people blowing it out of proportion. Do you have any idea how difficult it’s been for me? It’s -’ she broke off, her face tightening and her eyes shining. 

‘I’m sorry,’ Galinda whispered. ‘Elphaba, I truly am. I feel awful about the whole thing.’

‘Are you sorry because you regret it, or simply because I chose to help you today?’

‘...I felt bad the moment it left my mouth.’

‘Right. But you couldn’t stop yourself, could you?’ Elphaba muttered, her hands balling into fists at her sides. ‘You just couldn’t shut your trap. For what? Your precious reputation? Or to get the upper hand on this absurd back-and-forth we have going?’

‘I - I don’t know ,’ Galinda protested. ‘I just - I needed a way to control the narrative.’

‘ Why ? There wasn’t anything to control.’

‘Because I was feeling ashamed about my reaction to the storm, you know that.’

‘Oz, I wouldn’t have told anyone, Galinda!’ Elphaba said, her voice rising just slightly. ‘What would I possibly have to gain by telling everyone you were scared? Or revealing what your father did?’

‘I don’t know,’ Galinda repeated helplessly. 

‘Well I do ,’ Elphaba muttered. ‘You did it because, for whatever twisted reason, you enjoy toying with me. I thought it was simply because of Morrible’s seminars and our very unfortunate rooming situation, but that’s not it, is it? It’s because you made an assumption about me from the second we met. You took one look at me and decided I was someone worth your disdain.’

Galinda felt her eyes growing hot. ‘That’s not true at all.’

‘No?’ Elphaba muttered. ‘Then why ?’

Because you make me feel things I can’t handle. Because being around you makes me feel safe, even when we’re arguing. Because you’re beautiful. Because you’re kind. And all of that is too dangerous, it’s too much, it’s too -

‘ - Because we’re different ,’ Elphaba,’ she blurted out. ‘You just - rub me up the wrong way. You make me want to tear my hair out, and you know how precious it is to me.’

‘And you make me want to kick something. But that doesn’t mean I feel the urge to convince the entire school you’re some sort of bed-invading pest,’ Elphaba said flatly. 

Galinda fell silent, at a total loss. She didn’t have a leg to stand on. She could bring up the fact Elphaba decided to smash that drinking glass right in front of her, but considering what Galinda had done, she was surprised the girl hadn’t hurled it at her head.

‘...I’m sorry ,’ she whispered. ‘I don’t have an excuse. A-And I know that’s also not an excuse, but…I’m trying not to excuse what I did, because there’s no real excuse - Oz, I’ve said excuse too much and now it doesn’t sound like a proper word and I’m getting in a terrible muddle and - um - I agree that what I did has no excuse, not really - oh, I’ve said it again -’

‘ - You need elocution lessons, and fast,’ Elphaba interrupted. Galinda realised she was smirking at her. Instead of being upset about it, she latched onto it like a lifeline. 

‘Elphaba, I swear,’ she said, fighting back the instinct to react as another cramp bubbled up, ‘I swear I’m sorry. And I’m not just sorry because you’ve been so nice to me this evening when you really didn’t have to. I’m sorry because what I did was wrong . You were kind, that night of the storm. You didn’t make me feel like an idiot for getting so frightened, but Oz, I know I am one.’ She let out a subdued laugh. ‘I’m an idiot because I threw it back in your face. And I…I regret that. Truly.’

There was silence for a long while. Elphaba was still standing by the bed, her fists clenching and unclenching, and the only noises were Galinda’s occasional whimpers of pain, and the crackling of the fire. On seeing it was starting to die, Elphaba went to tend to it, still not saying a word. 

‘...E-Elphaba?’ Galinda whispered, her heart in her throat. 

‘Hm?’

‘Did you hear what I said?’

‘Yes, Galinda, I heard what you said. I’m trying to process it.’

‘Right.’

The quiet was almost tortuous. Galinda realised she ought to have rehearsed the apology in her head beforehand, but she kept getting stuck and wanting to blurt out the entire, mortifying truth. I can’t do that, though , she thought. I can never do that. Chewing her lower lip, Galinda sunk deeper into her mattress. She was warm and clean and thoroughly drowsy, to the point she was worried she was going to drop off before Elphaba next spoke. Luckily - or unluckily, I suppose - a sharp cramp that seemed to erupt from the base of her spine rather jerked her awake again. Whimpering forlornly, she cuddled Salmon closer to her and prayed the painkillers would hurry up and do their job.

‘This learned behaviour of yours,’ Elphaba said, so suddenly that Galinda jumped, ‘what exactly do you mean?’

‘Oh! Um…Shouldn’t we get back to the topic at hand?’ Galinda gulped. 

‘I’m still processing.’

‘Of course you are,’ she muttered. She didn’t really want to talk about what she meant, but since Elphaba had revealed another layer of her own troubled childhood, she felt strangely compelled to do the same. Not that she was planning on going into detail, though. ‘...I meant that I was taught to - to present a composed front at all times, that’s all. Even if I was under the weather.’ She groaned in ill-timed pain. ‘Or enduring a horrendous period, naturally.’

‘Why?’

‘ Why ?’ Galinda scoffed. ‘Because image is important, Elphaba, especially to my parents. It didn’t matter what any of us were feeling on the inside. We had to be at our best.’

‘I see,’ Elphaba said casually, as if Galinda was merely describing the weather. ‘So you learnt it from observation.’

‘And experience,’ mumbled Galinda.

‘Yes?’

Oz , she huffed, she really isn’t going to drop this. ‘Yes, experience. I picked it up very quickly. Not unlike how you figured out how to take care of yourself from a young age, I learnt how to suck it up. I have my sixth birthday party to thank for that.’ Galinda felt her eyes growing hot just thinking about it, but the moment she let it slip, she knew Elphaba would ask. 

‘Let me guess,’ Elphaba said softly, poking at the fire again, ‘you were unwell?’

‘That’s an understatement,’ Galinda swallowed. ‘I - I had some sort of stomach bug. I told Momsie that I - I didn’t want the party to go ahead since I was feeling so rotten, but she told me that cancelling would reflect badly on them. She dressed me in my new frock and did my hair, but just before the guests arrived, I - um -’ Galinda closed her eyes, hoping the tears wouldn’t slip, ‘ - I threw up all over her favourite rug. She hit the roof.’ And me, Galinda was about to add, but she caught herself at the last second. There was no reason to divulge any of that unpleasantness. Especially since it didn’t happen that much, and Momsie always apologised! She even bought me presents to say sorry! So…so, it’s fine.

‘Wait, you’re saying she got angry at you for being unwell? Is she quite sane?’ Elphaba spluttered. 

‘She was just frustrated. She put all that time and effort into sorting out the party for me - you should’ve seen the decorations and the buffet spread, Elphaba, it all looked incredible - and I ruined it because I couldn’t control my upchuck reflex,’ Galinda said stiffly. ‘It was my fault, really.’

‘Well that simply isn’t true,’ Elphaba muttered, poking the fire again with increasing vigor. ‘But what happened next? She took care of you, right? Once she saw how ill you were?’

I wish . ‘...Um, not exactly. She - she made me clean up the rug. And then she just sort of…sent me to bed. The party went ahead without me.’

‘ Oz -’

‘ - But my granny looked after me,’ Galinda added desperately, her face hot. She felt like she was revealing too much of herself. ‘She even managed to smuggle away some of my birthday cake - not that I felt well enough to eat it immediately - and she stayed with me for the whole day. I got to have my favourite juice. Through a straw .’ Since Larena Upland considered straws to be ‘unladylike’, it was a treat when Galinda got to use one. She would blow bubbles in the liquid to make her granny laugh. 

‘And did your granny look after you when you were sick at other times?’ asked Elphaba, her back still turned to tend to the fire. 

‘...At other times, I’d gotten better at hiding it,’ Galinda mumbled, wincing again at another cramp. ‘You can’t imagine the creative places I found to throw up when I needed to, Elphaba - it’s actually rather amusing, in an odd sort of way -’

‘ - It is not amusing!’ Elphaba snapped, slamming the fire poker so deeply into the coals that they sparked at spat. ‘You - you shouldn’t have been made to feel like that, Galinda! Oz - you should’ve had someone taking care of you. We both should’ve. We were children .’ Her voice dropped to a hiss. ‘Getting angry at you for throwing up…You were six . Unbelievable. Unbelievable .’

Galinda, who was quite startled by Elphaba’s outburst, shrunk back into her covers. She hadn’t meant to make her angry, but once again, she had put her foot in it.

‘Um, sorry,’ she whispered, nuzzling her face into her duvet. 

She heard Elphaba let out a long sigh, followed by muffled footsteps. The bed dipped. Instead of being next to her this time, though, Elphaba had perched gingerly on the end. 

‘You need to stop apologising for things that aren’t your fault,’ she said, her voice firm, but not unkind. ‘Apologising for other things, though? Well, that still needs work.’

Galinda gulped. The conversation was back where it had started. 

‘And by that,’ Elphaba murmured, ‘I mean that it would’ve meant a lot more if it came a handful of days ago, Galinda. I can’t help feeling like you’ve only apologised because I didn’t let you fester in your own blood and vomit.’

‘I wanted to apologise sooner, I really did,’ she whispered shakily.

‘So why didn’t you?’

‘...I don’t know .’

The bed shifted again. Elphaba had gotten to her feet.

‘Yeah.’ Her voice was deep, wounded. Exhausted . ‘That’s what I thought. Just…When you’ve figured it out, let me know. I am tired of games, Galinda. I want to be left alone.’

And with that, Elphaba disappeared into the bathroom, closing the door and locking it with a soft click . 

When Galinda cried, she did so as quietly as she could. For Elphaba’s pain was something she had created. And I have no right to encroach on it with my own tears.