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Part 1 of at what point does isekai become escapism (self-inserts collection)
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Anonymous
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Published:
2025-08-12
Updated:
2025-09-02
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3/?
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Bird up! WAIT NO NOT LIKE THAT—! (PHIGHTING SI)

Anonymous

Chapter 2: Acclimatization

Summary:

1. the process or result of becoming accustomed to a new climate or to new conditions.

Notes:

I always forget it takes me 5ever to finish drawing anything… Vogel’s ref will probably be done by next chapter or so… maybe. If I don’t get distracted as I usually do by plot bunnies

Anyways silly complaining aside—as usual. Special thanks to my dearest friends for listening to my cringe <3

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

In all honesty, Vogel wouldn’t have minded just sitting there for the rest of the day. The river was pleasant, and so was the surprisingly mild climate. Also being able to pet Punishing Bird was a welcome plus.

Alas, it ‘twas not meant to be.

With a sigh and a groan, the demon dragged themselves back up. The ever present ache in their legs flaring up once more. Next to them, the tree they’re using for support looks as if a bear mauled it, gouges matching the other tree which they pulled themselves up with earlier.

”You’d think being an isekai victim would at least give me a reprieve from this shit.” They mumble, staring down at their feet, “…or shoes.”

(A fond memory bubbles up, loud cackling over Discord voice chat. Friends teasing them for struggling to make flan, all while they sat at a char doing what could be described as ‘the Shinji pose,’ all while covered in caramel.)

(”—and put them dogs away!” They crow, all because ████ forgot to turn off the video camera.)

(“Shut up!!!” ████ cried, mostly in false outrage, even as a smile tugged at their lips. “You’re all so mean to me!! None of you are getting my snacks now!”)

(This statement is then met with a chorus of scandalized gasps and faked horror.)

Vogel sighs, mood dampened, and puts that thought out of mind. They instead turn their attention back to their legs. The limbs share the same traits as their arms, being sharp talons and a gradient pattern crawling from the tips of their toes to (probably) their thighs.

A brief thought occurs to them, something about Siamese cat markings as peak character design. Which was true, it’s peak.

Bouncing on the balls of their feet for a moment, there’s this sense of wrongness, with the way they’re standing. Which feels a bit silly, since this is how they’ve stood since… forever. Except, well…

Hm, new idea actually.

Calling upon years of Warrior Cats and cringe wolf kid related LARPing, Vogel shifts their weight until they’re standing on their toes, instead of having their feet planted flat on the ground. Their talons splay and dig into the dirt like this, but it’s… somewhere between uncomfortably unfamiliar, and more comfortable than before. They take a few shaky steps, and find that it hurts less than before.

A moment of confusion, before understanding passes, because right, bird. Digitigrade legs, they sigh at the realization. “Yeah okay, this makes more sense.” Vogel’s balance remains unsteady, the weight of horns and the dead weight of a wing still throwing them off, but they can walk now without needing to cling to a tree.

Throughout all this, Punishing Bird remains seated on their shoulder, even with all the jostling. The tiny thing nestled comfortably amongst the fur and feathers. 

“Real comfy in there, aren’t you.” They ask rhetorically, gently prodding the lump of bird with their free hand. “Much as I like having company, can I even un-summon you? I don’t even know how I’d explain your existence to other people.”

Of course, being a bird, it doesn’t respond.

”…C’mon buddy, give me something more to work with here at least…”

Vogel sighed at the predictable silence, feeling more than a little insane for just talking to themselves and to a fictional bird. At the same time, they stand at the riverbank, trying to remember what you’re supposed to do when stranded in a forest. You follow the river right? That’s usually how people get to civilization in survival stories.

With their mind made up, Vogel starts the harrowing journey of… walking in the same direction as the flowing water. Look man, the only survival tips they remember don’t work for their current situation, or just remind them of that one book they were forced to read in like 4th grade or something. Man, that’s a deep cut. 

“Does anyone actually remember reading Hatchet or was that just some collective school fever dream.” They mused out loud, and to no one in particular.

Per usual, Punishing Bird doesn’t respond.

They don’t know why they try.

(Unbeknownst to the former human, the trees they clawed up in their attempts to walk, began to curl and blacken. They won’t die, but they will change. Healthy bark and green leaves darken until they almost look like charcoal, the surrounding grass browning as if dipped in sepia. The spread will slow, without its catalysts, but it will continue unabated.)

(After all, wherever the Birds go, the Black Forest follows.)

Vogel had been walking for a while, with practically no progress made. It’s all been trees, trees, and more trees. Plus the river too they supposed.

This shit was truly so ass. A growl rattles out of their chest from sheer frustration (and wow, apparently they can make that noise now. Neat.) Still, in for a penny, in for a pound, or however that saying went.

”What even are the odds that I ended up in some empty sandbox world, like Minecraft or something.” They mutter. “Then again, even Minecraft had spawned structures…”

At some point during their forced nature walk, Vogel started collecting random things off the ground. It was mostly wildflowers, the stems clipped off with their talons. The majority of them ended up being stacked onto the sleeping(?) Punishing Bird. Which left the both of them looking quite silly, were they not alone in the wilderness and actually had someone to comment on their appearances.

Of course, because nothing good can happen to them uninterrupted, it was at this point the Abnormality decided to wake up. The small bird standing up and shaking off the wildflowers, scattering them to the ground as it took flight. Startling their keeper as it flew off, like a man on a mission.

“Wh- hey! This is absolutely not the time for walkies—!” At the action, the demon immediately gives chase after hooking Beak onto their belt. Steps slow at first from uncertainty, but growing more confident as they picked up speed. “Seriously, you are such a handful—!”

The scenery blurs as they sprint towards the bird, ducking and weaving between bushes and branches. Neither do they notice the fact they’re moving further and further away from their starting position, and deviating from the river.

All that mattered, was getting to that frustrating abnormality before something disastrous happened.

Five meters.

Three.

Duck under that branch.

Two…

…

…There!

Vogel’s arms are outstretched as they reached out and firmly grisped the flighty bird. “Gotcha now!” Their grip can be comparable to the way veterinarians held birds, which is to say—like an ice cream cone.

Punishing Bird in turn, squawks in outrage, squirming in their handler’s hold as they scowled at it. For whatever reason, it doesn’t seem to make an attempt at their life, it’s second mouth staying firmly closed. Though, it’s not like Vogel was going to question that, for the sake of their second life.

”Seriously, I don’t even know why you did that? What would either of us do if you got lost??” The demon gently shakes the bird, the same way one would do with an unruly pet as ‘punishment,’ before letting it go.

The bird simply stays in the air for a moment, chirping in disgruntlement. It eventually settles back on their shoulder, slapping their neck with a wing.

”Yeah, yeah.” They rasp out, “Now, where the hell are… we…?”

With the Abnormality back in their custody, Vogel finally takes the time to take in their surroundings. Blinking owlishly as they realize that they’ve found themselves in… something close to civilization.

By that, they mean an abandoned town of some kind, the settlement still miraculously intact somehow.

”…”

”What the fuck.”

…

…

…eh? Why’s the camera on me now? I didn’t write anything weird last night right??

Let me check… the last thing I did was send ████ off to do…?

…

Oh.

Oh no.

They’re supposed to be in Crossroads with the usual Phighting transmigration package, not in— in Thieves’ Den??

I can’t even pick them up and put them where they’re supposed to be, I’m not [Retcon]- ughhh, how am I going to fix this now—?!

…

…Bleurgh. I’ll… figure something out, this can be worked with. Not to mention, I’ll have to think of some kind of compensation for essentially bungling this up—

…

…Maybe I’ll send a care package down occasionally, as an apology… or take a page out of [████]’s book and let the Audience send some stuff to them…? I can at least nudge some events and NPCs their way…

Hm, better turn that off—

[-TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES-]

[-PLEASE STAND BY-]

—The buildings all look like they came out of feudal Japan, or at the very least; some kind of fantasy anime forest village. Like that one place, from Naruto or whatever. They’ve never actually watched the anime while they were alive, aside from the few iconic clips floating about.

That’s besides the point though.

Vogel is… reasonably cautious with exploring the abandoned town. Village? They’re not really sure what to call the place, plus the sign was already destroyed when they got here. If there was writing, they wouldn’t have been able to read it anyways.

Also they’re a little worried about ghosts. They’re not particularly superstitious but… you really never know.

Not to mention, eastern ghosts were way scarier than western ones.

The demon shudders, pulling their black and gold cloak-coat (they really need to decide which one it actually is-) closer around them. Mildly jostling Punishing Bird with their action, the fussy little thing having migrated to sit on Vogel’s head. 

“If something jumps out at us, I’m blaming you for bringing me here.” They say mildly, retrieving the EGO gear from their waist. The weight feels comfortable in their hands, even if they’ve never handled a gun in any capacity before.

At the very least, at least there’s no one to call them a creep as they peered through destroyed windows into the abandoned homes. There’s nothing of use in most of them, no maps or identifiable traits, or even personal knickknacks left behind. The most Vogel could see, was some broken furniture.

Picking out the most intact house, Vogel gently jostled the door, only to wince as it all but fell off of the hinges. Coughing lightly and waving away the dust that felt up into their face, their claws used to swipe away the massive cobwebs in their way. They’re compelled to murmur a quiet apology to whatever ghosts remain here.

For most of the building, they have to hunch down to avoid scraping their horns against the roof, or hitting their forehead on anything. “I can’t believe I’m going to miss being short,” Vogel laments, crouched down as they explored the house. “When I said I wanted to be taller, I meant like- an average height!”

Punishing Bird only cooed in response.

They sigh, “Easy for you to say, you’re like the size of my palm.”

Admittedly, they’re pretty impressed with the building, and the other ones within the ghost town. It’s clearly been abandoned for a long time, but the wood it’s made out of seems barely rotten or broken down. Sure they could see a lot of… battle(?) damage, and the usual damages of wildlife, but the place seems to hold up pretty well.

It is pretty dark though, Vogel eyes the darkening sky out of a partially broken window. Seems like they burnt most of the daylight by their exploring—and also chasing their wayward companion. Knowing their shit memory, chronic pain, and terrible sense of direction, exploring after the sun sets was absolutely a terrible idea.

At least there’s some silver lining though.

Vogel gently pulls off some ivy and tries their best to clean the floor of the dead bugs and dirt. “…We’ll rest here for now, this place works as a good enough shelter.” They settle down on the floor, tucking their legs under them, and their coat as well. “You doing alright up there?”

A pleased chirp was their response, as the abnormality settled on their head. Oddly comfortable with the short fur they figured out that they had, the texture of it somewhere between velvet and downy feathers. At least, the best they can describe it as.

“You and me both buddy, here’s hoping no spookies jump us while we’re here.”

Notes:

[Managerial Tips - III]
[The box of popsicles Vogel bought in Chapter 1 were specifically bomb pops, and are their preferred popsicle flavor. Their least favorite flavor of anything is a tie between artificial banana or pineapple.]

[Managerial Tips - IV]
[Vogel’s horns appear pitch black, but on closer inspection they actually have tiny golden script inscribed on them, this script emits a very weak glow. This script resembles the writing on the headstones within the Extraction Department, or Binah’s Pillars.]

[Managerial Tips - V]
[If Vogel had a “proper” gear name, it’d likely be something like; “The Three Birds of the Black Forest,” or “Through the Dark Twilight.”]

-

Blegh- shorter chapter this time, struggled with it a bit :( next chapter will probably be more fun with gear experimenting and the start of the Black Forest…

Also you guys have idea how hard I’m restraining myself from also writing that magical girl SI idea (I’m also kinda shocked no one’s gone the magical girl angle with their phighting SI yet) or my 12 other plot bunnies

Anyways out of the canon phighters; who’s the most likely to go cryptid hunting so I can have an excuse to make them interact with Vogel?

I’ve been really stuck on this plot point for a while :(

Though… canon characters still prolly wont show up for a long time except during interludes bc I wanna set up a plot idea… loads chekhovs gun. This will be a surprise tool to help us later :)