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English
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Part 1 of Tales of the Undiscovered Swords
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Published:
2018-06-25
Completed:
2018-08-07
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7/7
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An Abundance of Foxes and Aoe

Chapter 6: But After All, History Is History

Chapter Text

Juzumaru's anger wore out as quickly as it sparked, but he was not going to give in so easily. He would not cuddle and soothe Kitsunegasaki before kissing him goodnight. He was no young sword, a Heian period sword at that, older than Juzumaru even, he could and should learn his lesson. Yet, Juzumaru had no intention of sleeping outside on the cold floor like Nikkari, so he patiently waited, making sure Kitsunegasaki was asleep before tip-toeing over a sleeping Nikkari in front of the door and sliding it open as quietly as he could.

The room was quieter than it should be. It was the same silence as every night, yet this time, the silence was almost heavy, weighing down on him, making him hesitate to take another step.

Kitsunegasaki was already fast asleep, facing the door with his back. His white hair spilled in rivers over his pillow, and he clearly didn't bother to undo the braids.

Juzumaru quietly tucked himself in, and faced the opposite direction from Kitsunegasaki's so he didn't have to look at him any longer. The silence was too much, too torturous; minutes went by without even the sound of a rustle. Kitsunegasaki wasn't asleep; anyone asleep would unconsciously shift their bodies after a while, while Kitsunegasaki was perfectly stone still. Still, Juzumaru couldn't work up the courage to turn around and get his attention.

Juzumaru didn't know what to say to him anymore. He had broken his heart in a moment of anger, had thoughtlessly spoken harsh words that he could never take back. Those were the words he never allowed himself to say, those were the things he never believed in. He didn't believe Kitsunegasaki was a worthless sword. He didn't believe he was a disgrace. After all, it was irrefutable fact that the Kajiwara clan feared his power, that he wasn't considered a treasure sword for nothing, that he was every bit an Aoe masterpiece as Juzumaru and Nikkari was.

Kitsunegasaki, as the walking, breathing, talking human he was then, was simply misguided.

Juzumaru was supposed to make Kitsunegasaki see the errors of his ways, and yet he just went off on him.

Juzumaru would never forgive himself.

Kitsunegasaki was already nowhere to be seen the moment Juzumaru rose. He always woke up early for his wrestling training, so it didn't come as a surprise. Only when Juzumaru didn't see him in the dining hall for breakfast did he become concerned. Normally, he would be sitting with either Yamabushi, Izuminokami or both, loudly discussing his plans to knock out his greatest enemies while enthusiastically chowing down on chicken. Neither did he see him when he returned to the Aoe room. There was only Nikkari, grumbling as he tried multiple times and failed to properly tune his erhu, only looking up once to acknowledge his entering. Normally, he would be yelling at Kitsunegasaki to stop messing with his work for fear of snapping the strings before the latter sprung to his feet at the sight of Juzumaru, while Nikkari thanked him for rescuing him from the nuisance. He even asked Yagen for his whereabouts only to receive a shrug, no more, no less, not even a spoken answer. Everything seemed to be the same as before Kitsunegasaki arrived, as though he vanished from everyone's memories but Juzumaru's. By then, he was truly concerned, since none of the Aoe swords had internal affairs that day. Was Kitsunegasaki hiding? Had he left the Citadel for good? Or was he – Juzumaru didn't dare think of that possibility – broken?

Kitsunegasaki was missing, and Juzumaru had no one to blame but himself.

"The fox sword with red markings on his face?" Mikazuki said, and words could not describe how grateful Juzumaru was, "I saw him alone in the training ground. He seems desolate. I suppose you could help him."

Aware of what effects his actions had on him, Juzumaru quickly thanked Mikazuki and returned to his living quarters.

As he expected, he found Kitsunegasaki in the training ground kneeling on the dirt ground amidst the numerous practice dummies, sobbing into his hands. With his right hand knuckles already red, he launched a punch at the wooden pole supporting a dummy, and cried even louder from the pain.

"Kitsunegasaki." Juzumaru called, and the sobbing paused.

He turned around in surprise before slowly backing away, not saying a single thing.

"I'm not here to seek conflict." Juzumaru assured and knelt down next to him. A few seconds of silence followed, and Kitsunegasaki cracked a bitter smile, while his body shook every now and then from his sobs.

"Thank you for your concern, Juzumaru-sama, but how will it change the fact that I am worthless? How will it change the fact that I'm an incompetent bastard who brings nothing but trouble, who doesn't deserve being called a treasure and who is a shame to the Aoe smith who created me?" he laughed between sobs, "How will it change the fact that I am so weak I can't even take down these dummies and that I can never set myself apart from the other fox swords and that I should stop trying?"

"May I ask, is your name Kogitsunemaru? Is your name Nakigitsune?" Juzumaru said, "You're already different from the other fox swords from the name. Nothing in this world is the same, be it man or sword. You do not need to set yourself apart from anyone, you're different and you always will be."

Kitsunegasaki's bitter smile disappeared.

"Do you really think I'm worthless? After all, you told me I am." he said when his sobs had died down somewhat.

"Those were thoughtless words spoken in a fit of anger. For that, I sincerely apologize." Juzumaru answered, "Your former master knew, our current master knows, history knows and I know that you're anything but worthless. You struck fear into the hearts of an entire clan, and it is the truth. But such a feat was accomplished because you were used the way you're always meant to be – a sword. You're trying to be what you're not meant to be, and that lead to disaster." that said, Juzumaru handed him something he found in their shared room – Kitsunegasaki's sword form, "This is what you are. This is where your innate strength lies. Stop trying to become a wrestler and tap into your true strength, then you can accomplish great things. From now on, I shall fulfill your desire and mentor you. In the way of the sword."

Kitsunegasaki remained silent, mulling over Juzumaru's words before reaching out to grab the sword in his hands.