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Chapter Text

The narrator's voiceover is in italics.

...
On this special episode of Naked and Afraid, two exceptionally skilled survivalists will take on a harsh, unfamiliar environment with no clothes, no food and no water. One man and one woman must fend for themselves for twenty-one days.

This is Naked and Afraid: Immortal Edition.

"Well now, this looks like a jungle,” Methos says sounding less than thrilled as the truck bounces along the rugged, muddy trails and he ducks under palm fronds.

“My name is Methos," he introduces himself giving the camera a sardonic smile. “Yes, I am the oldest living man you all heard about when the Watcher’s Chronicles were hacked. I have lived in nearly every habitable environment this planet has to offer and a few that were quite inhospitable. Though this is the first time I’ve intentionally done so devoid of resources, I have managed without basic necessities in dire circumstances before.”

METHOS
Age: over 5,000
From: Europe (maybe)

Skills:
Thriving in primitive environments
Outrunning Immortal opponents
Resourcefulness under pressure

As one of the few ancient Immortals still living, Methos has watched civilizations rise and fall. His experience gives him an advantage in survival skills. However, his wariness of other Immortals has made him something of a loner which could hinder his ability to work with his partner.

Methos starts with an initial PSR (Primitive Survival Rating) of 9.1

“This is by no means the worst location I’ve been in,” says Methos bracingly as the truck comes to a halt. “Not worried about going starkers either.” He strips off his clothes quickly and dumps them. "This could turn out to be rather a holiday,” he adds and without hesitation he proceeds around sharp-tipped palm fronds and bamboo stalks. “Provided my partner isn’t inclined to cut off my head."

Meanwhile, in a jeep approaching from another trail is his partner.

“Oh, wow! This is beautiful. I love it here!” exclaims Amanda with a huge grin. “My name is Amanda and I’m looking forward to no tan lines, if the sun will come out from behind those clouds already.” She leaps from the moving vehicle before it can fully stop and tosses her clothes into the wind. “I just hope my partner is at least over six hundred years old. The younger Immortals are usually just too accustomed to modern conveniences and have never really gone without anything before.”

AMANDA
Age: 1,199
From: England
 

Skills: Climbing almost anything
Stealth when committing larceny
Evading police

Amanda’s perseverance and charm will help her work as a team with her partner. But her history of overcoming starvation largely involved thievery, which could be of less use to her in a wilderness lacking any modern amenities.

  Amanda begins with an initial PSR (Primitive Survival Rating) of 8.7

“I was warned explicitly not to steal anything from the crew,” Amanda announces to the camera. She pushes through the plants at a steady pace using her ability to sense another Immortal nearby as her guide. “And Duncan MacLeod has promised to take me on a shopping spree if I keep my word.”

“Did Mac actually agree to that or are you making it up in front of the camera to extort him, Amanda?” 

She turns at the sound of his voice coming through the trees ahead. “Methos, darling! I would have never guessed it’d be you," she exclaims as they exchange a hug. "How’d they convince you to do this show?"

“Joe agreed to forgive my bar tab.”

Amanda is speechless for a moment and Methos changes the subject asking, “Did the producers ask to keep the location a secret from you as well?”

“Sure did,” answered Amanda. “I didn’t know until just before I boarded the plane that we were bound for South America."

"Same here. Didn’t want us to prepare for it, did they?"

In the interest of making their experience more of a challenge, both Immortals agreed not to be informed in advance of their destination: GUYANA

  Located in South America, most of the country is covered in a thriving rainforest, features amazing biodiversity and boasts the famous Kaieteur Falls. Temperatures here vary little between 75° to 85° F day and night. Daily rainfall is common much of the year and the humidity remains high even during the somewhat drier spring and autumn.

"Any idea why they chose this continent?” Amanda asks.

“Probably because neither of us has spent as much time in this sort of environment as we have other places,” he deduces. When she pauses to give him a questioning look he adds, “Watcher Chronicles.” 

They both sigh and grimace at the reminder that the secret records the Watchers kept for millennia documenting Immortals' lives was accessible. Despite efforts to remove them from the internet, the files spread. It catapulted all Immortals into world fame status whether they liked it or not.

“So, the show producers studied us and are afraid of making it too easy, huh?” she asks facetiously. 

Hanging nearby from some branches are two canvas bags that are useful both for carrying items and to somewhat preserve their modesty if worn strategically.

In addition to a handheld diary camera  and a map provided for them to use, the Immortal survivalists are allowed to bring one item of their choice. However, unlike recent episodes of Naked and Afraid featuring mortals, they will not be supplied with a third survival tool.

Methos pauses his steps then speeds up as his eyes spot something half hidden in the foliage under their bags. “Is that what you brought?!” he asks.

Amanda selected a five gallon plastic bucket.

“You are brilliant, Amanda! I wish I’d thought of that now.” 

Amanda beams at the compliment and holds up the large, white bucket with a sealable lid by its metal handle. “The producers thought I was crazy when I insisted on plastic. Tried to fob me off on a dainty metal cooking pot, but I was having none of it. Especially after they told me no machete."

Our producers feel it wiser not to permit either Immortal to bring a bladed weapon of any sort.

"Indeed, that was quite unnecessary."

"Exactly, we're friends. Let’s see what you have?”

Methos opted for a slingshot.

“Wow! We’ll eat like kings. Provided you aren’t out of practice?" she teases him.

He puts on a faux affronted air and quips, "Like riding a bicycle, you never truly forget." Methos twangs the stretchy rubber. "This is a substantial improvement over the old braided rope slings of my youth. A military grade handle, paracord wrist guard," he lists it's features. "I can use it like a crossbow."

Amanda smirks a little at his gushing. "It looks like my bag has the diary cam and the map." 

She unfolds the paper she found in her bag. It is a topographical print out of their surroundings with extraneous images of dangerous local wildlife and plant features. Their current location and eventual extraction point are helpfully marked.

"Still haven't worn out their running joke that men never ask for directions, I see," she comments as she peers at the paper with him. "Big river, some streams, two little waterfalls, what might be a pond or a lake and loads of jungle."

"Seems quite clear."

"But first," says Amanda as he puts the map back the bag. "There is something we must make before going a step further."

Methos nods in agreement. They both look at the camera and in unison announce, "Shoes!"

 
DAY 1
10:57 am | 79°

 
The Immortals forage for deadfall and dry plants for making cordage. Without knives, they are forced to manage with tree bark they can break and tear by hand into somewhat suitable pieces to support their feet. They twist and shape what dry fibers they find into thin rope, weaving it around the bark and tying straps to their ankles. 

"They'll do until we can fashion some out of better materials," comments Amanda as they don their new sandals.

They delve deeper into the jungle, constantly picking up anything that looks useful. Small sticks, bits of twigs and dry grass for tinder, and they yank up a large quantity of brown and green nettle stalks they come across. The dry tinder goes into the bucket and it doesn't take them long to fill their bags as they move. Within an hour, they reach a spot where a swift moving stream empties into the river.

The Potaro River has waterfalls, rapids and streams feeding into it with hundreds of fish species. People pan the water for gold and diamonds, neither of which are likely to be of much use to the survivalists.

"Eh, nothing but gravel and quartzite," complains Amanda as she wades in and scoops up a handful of pebbles.

"It must do," Methos answers.

While selecting some river rocks about the size of their palms and larger, they also pick out some smaller stones as ammo for the slingshot. Suddenly, Amanda plunges her hand back into the water and retrieves a small, jagged brown stone Methos discarded. Looking pleased she hands it to Methos who after looking at it better asks, "This is adamas, isn't it?"

"I know my gems. Diamonds," she says proudly addressing the camera. "Once were called adamas and are actually plentiful. Only the flawless ones are rare."

Amanda adds the chocolate diamond to her bag of sticks. Then both Immortals begin smashing the milky gray quartzite against the rocky bank and together drop much larger rocks on top of them until they have an assortment of smaller, sharp pieces. They are heedless of the flying debris cutting them. The crew is forced to back up and use their camera zoom.

"It's difficult to work with, but in the absence of anything else…" he says with a shrug and begins to pummel the edge of a flake with a stick. Fragments and slivers slice his skin and though the cuts heal rapidly, they still leave trickles of blood behind.

"Is it dead yet?" Amanda quipps as she pauses in her work.

He laughs at her joke and strikes the rock even harder, only to groan when the rock splits in half. Amanda silently hands him another potentially suitable flake. She returns to shattering rocks while Methos works at knapping the unforgiving quartzite.

"What I wouldn't give for some obsidian," says Methos when he pauses to take a breather. "Or for a bottle to wash up on shore."

"It would probably be made of flimsy plastic if we do find one," she answers dismally and for the camera's benefit adds, "Can't make a knife from that."

After sorting through her efforts, she selects some pieces of rock that came away with a decent edge and a long end after being smashed. They are too thick to knap, but sharp enough that she begins using one to cut into a dead branch nearby.

"This stuff doesn't hold a good edge for long. We'll be swapping the axe head out before long, but there is no shortage of rock here," she explains as she begins to fashion a primitive stone hatchet. After one is ready, using it allows her to more easily make a second one. "Metal tools were an investment in my early years, the most valuable objects a person owned. I'm better at making tools out of bone and horn, but we did use wood and stone quite a lot when I was younger."

"Bronze tools were owned by the rich and leased to employees in my early centuries," Methos comments as he examines the two stone knives he's produced and decides, "Wrapping handles must wait until we have better materials." 

Having managed to produce adequate enough cutting tools for the moment, they exchange their handy work so they each have a hatchet and a knife of their own. Then they take a dip in the stream to rinse off the blood splatters and take time to drink. Neither show any concern about the water being safe or clean enough.

Though it is not well understood, Immortals are known to possess a hardy digestive system that prevents bacterial infections and inhibits parasites from taking hold. This allows them to eat and drink things that would make a mortal ill.

They begin to follow the stream away from the river and it isn't long before Amanda points above their heads and announces, "Fruit."

"I'm not sure if they are ripe yet," says Methos as he thumps the hard skin and looks at the the white sap oozing out of the stem of the one he picked. "But let's take a few anyway, I guess." 

Sapodilla was once more commonly known as a chewing gum tree. Its sap is rarely harvested for commercial production today. Synthetics have replaced it in modern chewing gum. The large, brown berries are very high in sugar and full of potassium and vitamins. 

There isn't much room left in their bags and the berries are so large just two fill their hands. They find another that produces sap and a few that don't that they pick. Continuing upstream, they place stacks of stones by slower flowing pools they suspect have fish to remind themselves of where to come back to.

Methos pauses and asks, "Hear that?"

"Monkeys," answers Amanda quietly. 

They veer inland following the sound until they encounter several small primates high above in the trees. A few shriek out danger warning calls, but most try to hide quietly.

The White-faced Saki monkeys almost never leave the treetops and survive on unripe fruit. They weigh on average about 5 lbs and farmers consider them agricultural pests.

Employing his slingshot, Methos fires at the monkeys high above. But he only succeeds in dislodging palm fruit as the monkeys dodge.

The Awara Palm can grow as high as fifty feet and its trunk is covered in long thorns. Each fruit is about the size of an egg and is higher in beta carotene than a carrot. It grows in massive bunches, but they are located at the top of the tree.

Amanda uses her stone hatchet to hack off a handful of the long thorns on the tree trunk and hands one to Methos. He understands at once and loads the thorn like a dart in his slingshot. Amanda hands him more thorns to reload after each shot allowing Methos to keep his aim as they pursue the monkeys from below. Finally, Methos pierces one in the eye and it falls to the ground dead.

The pair of them retrieve it, only slightly out of breath from the run through the forest.

"Good shot," Amanda praises. 

"Couldn't have done it without your idea to use thorns," he compliments her in return. "I'd have pelted them with stones to no avail that high. Too much vegetation in the way."

He slings the dead monkey over his shoulder by its tail as they walk back to the Awara palms to collect more thorns for future hunts. Most of the fruit that fell in the skirmish is green and all of it bruised and battered, but they pick up a handful of orange colored ripe ones.

 
4:04 pm | 81°

 
When they make it back to the stream Methos points ahead at a rocky ledge alongside the bank where tree roots dangle exposed and there is something of a shelf. “There's a good spot for your bucket," he states and she agrees.

Amanda transfers the bundle of tinder to her bag and partly fills her bucket with water. She then climbs up to the place he indicated and talks to the camera. “This is a simple, reliable trap. The value of the plastic bucket is that you don’t always need to put water in it and its nearly escape proof.”

Methos chops bamboo into sizes Amanda needs and hands them to her. She first threads a tube of bamboo onto the center of a narrow round stick and suspends it across the top of the bucket opening. Then she props a longer stick he has notched onto the bucket rim so it can't fall down. From her bag, she pulls out the orange palm fruits.

Amanda has built a common water bucket rat trap.

“The idea is that the mouse or rat climbs up the stick on the outside to the top of the bucket, then it is tempted to walk across the little stick to the bait on the tube,” she explains chopping the fruit with the edge of her stone ax, smearing the bamboo tube with it and balancing fruit chunks carefully on the tube. “It goes for the bait and the tube spins dropping them to their death.”

“Should drown a few mice tonight, even if a bird pilfers the bait," Methos says with calm certainty as they leave the bucket behind. "I'm ready to choose a place to settle for the night if you are."

"I like the fourth one we spotted. It has a pretty little waterfall."

"It'll be more work to roof it than the second one."

"Second one is too near to the water and the stream moves faster there."

"But it is above the flash flood height."

"Let's flip for it," she suggests and plucks a bit of bark. "Call it."

"Underside."

She tosses the bark into the air and they watch it tumble down to land with the outer bark facing up.

"Fourth one it is."

They troop back downstream where the bank on one side is higher than the other and a small gouge looks to be chiseled out of the top of the bluff. When they reach it, they assess it critically.

"Floor needs a lot of leveling and the walls won't be high enough," he says as he looks at the dirt and rocks surrounding them on three sides that is level with his shoulders. "Unless we build an elevated roof."

"Which rather defeats the purpose. Well, do we really need to stand up fully inside?"

"No, I suppose not. I think this spot used to hold a tree that fell into the stream, but there's nothing left to show it was here now except dead roots."

They climb higher until they are looking down into their future shelter. It tapers towards the back, giving the space an almost triangular shape.

"The ground slopes upwards to this edge, we won't have any rainwater flowing in on its way to the stream or backlogging on the roof."

They put their stone hatchets to work, cutting wood to become rafters. For the roofing they split bamboo in half longways and cut out the natural dividers.

"We're placing the first layer of half rounds in rows with the interior of the cane facing up. When a piece is too short, we overlap the next one. This way they direct rainwater in a gentle slope down to the lower ground behind us," he says. To demonstrate, he pours some water at the top of one of the long rows and watches it trickle down and away from their shelter. "The second layer of bamboo halves are laid with the exterior bark facing up and cover these gaps between the first layer making it watertight."

This bamboo half round roofing is commonly known as Filipino style, but it can be found used throughout Asia.

"There isn't time before sunset tonight to do the entire roof, so we're stopping here and hoping it doesn't rain much."

They climb down to the shelter's dirt floor which is riddled with stones and roots. They do their best to clear it, but the sun is sinking. 

They prepare wood and tinder to become their campfire and ring it with stones. All the rest they store in the deepest corner of their shelter. They stack it into a small platform shape to elevate it from the ground. Then they pile the tinder in the center and stack the remaining firewood in layers and form a small lean-to out of the last wood to give it all the protection they can.

"Now, I'm going to show you why neither of us brought a fire starter nor have built a bow drill and aren't even rubbing two sticks together."

Methos slices his palm with his stone knife and cups his hand to prevent the blood from dripping onto the tinder. Tiny arcs of electricity from his Quickening spark and jump. Before it can finish healing him, Methos lights a grassy taper and transfers it to the tinder where it spreads to the wood.

"You'd be shocked at how many Immortals have no idea they can start a fire with their own Quickening," says Amanda. "Taking another Immortal's head nearly always sets something ablaze and that ought to give them a clue."

 
7:12 pm | 77°

 
One of the producers with their back to the camera, enters the camp and the screen gets subtitles because the audio doesn't pick up well.

"There's been some concern about how the viewers will feel about watching monkeys being killed and eaten."

"Does that mean you are going to edit out the parts when we dressed the meat, cooked and ate it?"

"Partly. We generally don't show much actual butchering. However, it's more than that. We'd like you to not kill any more monkeys."

"What?" Amanda exclaims. "Are you serious?"

"Can't you simply not air it?" asks Methos, trying to sound reasonable.

There is more muffled conversation before the camera scene changes. 

DIARY CAM
9:17 pm | 76°

 
It's now dark outside and the camera crew has retreated to their own campsite for the night. The infrared diary camera casts the screen into shades of green and black.

Amanda's face appears and she says, "I have feeling, let's call it a hunch, that there are places where small primates or birds or other critters thrive in large numbers and let's say maybe they eat the wheat crop or raid the chicken coop. Well," she draws the word out for emphasis, "such animals are often killed and usually eaten. And by the way, the producers admitted there isn't a law against that here.

"I think they made it up that viewers will be offended if we eat monkeys. Starving is part of this show's dynamic after all, isn't it? The people always lose about twenty pounds or more after twenty-one days."

Methos' voice is audible off screen, "Some participants deliberately gain weight before doing the show to give their bodies a buffer. But yes, it's a helluva weight loss program," he says sounding resigned. "But there is no point in ranting to the camera, Amanda. I expect all footage involved will land on the cutting room floor anyway."

"It makes me feel better and cameras don't use film anymore."

"You know what I mean," he groans. "I'm almost done setting the ashes. There wasn't as much as I would have liked, but hopefully it's enough to deter crawling insects. Especially ants."

The scene changes to a new view from a night vision camera mounted to a nearby tree the crew left behind. Methos finishes making a circle of ashes around the perimeter of their sleeping area. Amanda puts out the fire and they bed down for the night on the dirt.

After a few minutes, Amanda says, "Wow. I'd forgotten what dark truly is. We are as good as blind. It's been cloudy all day, so I knew we probably wouldn't see many stars, but there are just none."

"I suspect hunting during the next full moon is right out," Methos answers. "This canopy may block the moonlight, too."

Even on the warmest of nights, most survivalists chose to take turns feeding a fire, trading sleep for the comfort of light and to ward off some insects. It is curious that the Immortals are deliberately going without a fire.

 ...

End chapter 1

What crazy survival situations do you think they should encounter in the jungle next? Comment and tell me!

Chapter Text

Day 2

6:17 am | 78°

"It rained just before dawn," says Methos to the camera. He and Amanda are standing outside their dugout style shelter. "The roof held and it shouldn't take long to finish it today, but the air is so humid our cordage fibers might not dry out sufficiently."

Amanda turns from where she is checking a small piece of hide soaking in a makeshift bamboo tube cut into one side to function like a bowl. Though it's not immediately obvious that the skin is from the monkey they ate yesterday, the camera doesn't linger on it.

"I'll pick more fruit while I'm out," she says while putting on her sandals. She puts her knife and the slingshot into her bag.

"I'll begin work on the oven."

With no more farewell than that, half the camera crew traipses off with Amanda. Methos digs in a somewhat drier spot on the edge of their shelter where a wide rock shelf protrudes outward and slightly upwards near the floor of their shelter. Using his hands and a piece of bamboo like a shovel, he clears away some dirt below the rock, but not enough to dislodge it. Under that he digs a deep, narrow hole.

"I'd rather not place the oven in the back of our dugout. Too much smoke and heat," Methos explains. "The nights are as sweltering as the days here, but I expect during extended rainfall and damp we will welcome the oven warmth then. May need to dry out wood with the very fire it is intended to be fueling."

He takes the stones that they cast aside the night before when they leveled the floor of their shelter. After lining his pit with rocks, he sets a fire inside the bottom of it. On the surface, he rings the rim of the pit with more rock and builds a wall on the exposed side until it meets the protruding rock. The exterior ring and wall he cakes in mud mixed with sand and grass.

"Water can't flood the pit now and hopefully this side wall will keep the weather out. An oven requires less tending than an open campfire and though the food cooks slower, it's worth it."

Leaving the fire going, he returns to splitting more bamboo poles with his stone hatchet.

Meanwhile elsewhere

6:27 am | 78°

The hike is a little slippery and slows Amanda down as she leaves camp, but the earlier rain wasn't heavy enough to produce puddles. 

She detours inland and despite the thick canopy and no path to follow, Amanda finds the stand of palm trees seemingly without effort. Her aim with the slingshot is good and before long she dislodges enough orange and yellow colored fruit to fill half her bag.

She also terrifies a large green snake so badly, it drops itself out of the tree in a panic. Though Amanda gives chase, she fails to find it in the undergrowth. Giving up with a sigh, she makes her way back to the palms.

"That snake would have been a good meal, but there are other food sources here. Even mortals can eat almost any fruit or vegetable. Chew a little and see how it goes before eating more," she explains while picking up the palm fruit. "Few things will make you ill for more than a day and even less are genuinely poison. If other mammals, especially monkeys, are eating something, it is likely safe. Just wash it very, very well first," she warns carefully emphasizing her words.

Hesitating in her work, Amanda looks more carefully at the plants and other trees they'd previously bypassed in their eagerness to find shelter. 

"Unfamiliar roots, nuts, flowers and leaves are less likely to be edible, but may be worth a try," she says contemplatively.

Cutting an assortment of foliage and even digging a few up to look at the roots, she begins to fill her bag. Some she discards at once when they weep an unpleasant smelling goop. In a low spot, she finds a tree sprouting green and brown pods twice the size of her hand.

She drives her knife into a pod that already has a split in it and reacts in surprise when it reveals large seeds. "I thought it might be a type of coconut," she says to the camera.

The Malabar chestnut, also known as the Guyana chestnut, is low in calories, but high in vitamins. Despite more frequently being sold as an ornamental called the Money tree, the large leaves, flowers and nuts are edible. However, the nuts are toxic to smaller mammals and possibly even to humans if consumed raw in large quantities.

By the time she reaches the stream to wash her foraged food, her bag is at risk of bursting.

"Taste is a fair guide," she explains as she nibbles on a clean leaf only to quickly spit it out and rinse her mouth. She eyes it disdainfully, "Obviously that is not a good one."

She tries a root next and can't sink her teeth in it. "Though some things are too hard raw, they might be good if cooked. I'll save that one for the oven. Also, just because one part of a plant can be eaten doesn't mean all of it can."

Continuing her demonstration, she washes and samples each type of leaf, flower, seed and root she has in her collection, rejecting several. This process of elimination lightens her load considerably and she continues on her journey to her rat trap. The bucket is still upright and its ramp attached just as she left it the night before.

"Let's see," says Amanda as she looks into her bucket. "Wow! I caught a lizard."

The Tegu is a large lizard species similar to the monitor lizard and they are prized as pets. This one is a juvenile and weighs about 10 lbs, but adult males can grow over 4 ft long and weigh as much as 50 lbs.

The camera peers at the very unhappy looking reptile curled around onto itself in the bottom of the bucket and it is just able to keep its snout above water.

Amanda reaches in and grabs it out. It thrashes a bit as she inquires, "We do have leave to eat this, I trust? I seem to recall reptiles being eaten in other episodes of this show."

As none of the camera crew are permitted to speak to the survivalists while filming the show, her question is superfluous. She quickly dispatches the lizard and then looks back into the bucket to pull out two drowned mice by their tails. "Huh, I wonder if it was trying to get the mice or the fruit?"

The Guiana Bristley mouse is a favorite prey of native lizards, but Tegu also eat fruit.

Amanda resets her bucket trap with more fruit.

9:24 am | 78°

"Lucy, I'm home!" Amanda shouts as she approaches their shelter.

Either Methos is unfamiliar with the American tv show catchphrase or not inclined to respond in kind. She continues on blithely, "Grocery shopping went well. I not only have fruit, but also nuts, vegetables, ruffage and meat."

Methos has a sizable stack of long, half-round bamboo nearby and he stops his work of stretching the monkey skin onto a frame to see what she has. Amanda passes the large lizard over to him and sets the mice aside. The bag she hangs from a tree branch.

"Even better than we hoped for," he says happily looking at the reptile and the contents of the bag. "Oven is ready, too."

Amanda sorts her produce, leaving the palm fruit in her bag and choosing some of the smaller leaves to wrap the roots and nuts separately. When those are prepared, she turns to her catch. The camera angle moves to follow Methos rather than film Amanda cleaning and skinning the lizard.

Kneeling at the oven pit with a stick in his hand, Methos says to the camera, "I'm moving these coals to the sides, otherwise the food will burn rather than steam."

Earth ovens date back to the Neolithic period and even today some modern cultures continue to use a form of pit cooking.

He turns to a nearby cylinder of bamboo laid lengthwise with a hole in its side which allows it to function as a cooking pot. He uses sticks to remove a hot stone from the oven and drops it into the improvised pot to make the liquid boil.

Amanda eyes the concoction Methos sets to heating. "I agree it's better to do this the fast way," she says, clearly continuing a previous discussion and not sounding entirely convinced yet. "I've only ever done vegetable tanning."

"That takes half a year. I've processed buckskin in matter of days with brains."

"What about the lizard skin?"

"I'll provide an astringent for it.

"I can't tell you how happy I am to leave that to you."

Methos doesn't hide his amusement at her relief that she needn't participate in the next phase of this particular method of tanning.

"Wish we had salt," Amanda mutters quietly as she passes the first bundle of food to him and looks at the camera explaining, "Can't preserve any meat in this damp without it. It's vital on days when there is no game. Really limits our range of travel, too."

Methos only gives her a sympathetic look as he stacks the meat bundles on a bed of green fronds and tucks more around them as a barrier against the coals. The nut and vegetable bundles are next, then Methos pours a little water over it all and tops it all with more fronds. Several wide pieces of bamboo are next overlaying it and he buries it all with several shovel fulls of dirt.

Methos eyes his work critically. "I should have made it wider."

"It's perfect, don't worry," she says. "Time for breakfast."

"Or elevenses," says Methos as he peers up at the sky and judging it closer to midday than morning.

They both suddenly stop and sniff at the air. "More rain is coming," Methos predicts for the camera's benefit.

Without any real pause, they eat the palm fruit, while also helping each other lay more bamboo roofing. They move in concert, grabbing another fruit from the bag after they climb down and chewing it while going up with more wood. When their roof completely spans the divide between the rocky dirt walls, Amanda restocks their firewood and Methos cuts a good deal of vegetation to insulate their roof.

Only when the rain begins do they stop to rest in their dugout.

Impressively, the survivalists have consumed approximately a thousand calories each in the first 24 hours of their challenge. However, they have easily used three times that working to build their shelter, exploring the terrain and hunting for food.

3:02 pm | 86°

The camera lens is protected from the rain, which has abated to a drizzle. Amanda and Methos can be seen making cordage. Methos sets aside his pile of grass rope he was working on and goes to uncover their oven. Lingering heat quickly becomes steam in the wet air.

Using two sticks as tongs, he lays out their meal. Each leaf packet is blackened on the outside, but neither of them hesitate to eat the leaves along with the contents.

"I feel like I'm at an exotic gourmet social club, but without the wine. These taste like chestnuts," Amanda declares in delight when they try the seeds from the pod.

"Absolutely, we must collect more of those tomorrow," Methos agrees. He tries the next mystery leaf packet and coughs at the taste. "This root is awful. Here, try it."

"Why would I eat it if you say it's awful?" she exclaims.

He shrugs in amusement and says, "I was curious if you would."

She wrinkles her nose and answers flatly, "I think I'll trust your assessment this time."

Day 3

7:22 am | 77°

Their dugout shelter now sports massive bundles of cordage coiled and hanging from a few roots sticking out of the rocky dirt walls. They've enlarged their pit oven and a new fire is blazing in it.

After another breakfast of fruit, Amanda and Methos work on the bones leftover from their two kills.

While Methos shatters the bones into fragments, Amanda attaches the brown diamond they found the first day onto a notched stick. With the pointiest end up and wrapped with their nettle string, it looks rather like an oversized pencil.

A time lapse of their assembly line of sorts begins. Amanda scores the outline of tool into a bone piece with her diamond point. When she's cut one out, she passes it to Methos who sands the edges on a stone and sharpens them. He also sands long, straighter fragments that are leftover. Eventually, she runs out of usable bone to carve into and turns to a piece Methos has already finished sanding. Bracing it carefully, she spins her diamond tip tool between her palms to drill a hole into the wider, blunt end.

The end result is an awl, a scraper for cleaning off fish scales and hides, and two different needles.

"This needle is for naalbinding," she says pronouncing it 'knoll binding' and showing it off to the camera. "It's slower going than crochet or knitting, though the stitches look similar, these don't unravel if the string gets snagged or broken. This needle can also be used to sew a seam in animal hide by threading holes we puncture with the awl."

"We'll make sheaths for our knives when the monkey and lizard skins finish tanning. This larger needle," says Methos pointing, "is actually a shuttle for making the second most essential survival tool after the knife: a net. We work on cordage when it rains and after sundown, so we almost have enough string made from nettles and grass. Depending on how our next hunting expedition goes, we may make fish hooks next.

"Yesterday evening, we had no luck setting up an ambush using the two mice as bait. Nothing came for them but flies," Amanda says. "However, something knocked over my bucket this morning and took whatever my catch was." She looks aggravated. "We'll keep trying new locations, but I'm not sure if it's going to continue to be a reliable means for us to obtain bait if bigger animals keep wrecking it."

Methos tries to cheer her up by suggesting, "We could stake out the bucket tonight. But now," he tells the camera, "we are going to try using these mice to go fishing."

Carrying the rather nasty smelling dead mice, some string, their knives and bags they hike upstream to a place where the water is wider and the current slow.

10:52 am | 83°

At the river, Amanda wades in first saying, "I've picked a spot with a rocky bottom so we stir up less silt." The camera view changes helpfully to an underwater shot of how the water is fairly clear before switching back to her. "To prevent ourselves from losing the knives in the river, I've attached lanyards to the handles." She holds up her arm to show the stone knife swinging from the cordage wrapped around her wrist.

On shore, Methos cuts a thin, sturdy limb that has a dip in its center and skewers the mice on the center branches. Then he binds his knife securely to his wrist just as Amanda has done.

He joins her in the water standing closer to shore and he hands her one end of the stick. "As you can see, I'm not venturing as deeply as Amanda has and with good reason. Hollywood would have you believe that piranha will skeletonize anyone in minutes. Quite ridiculous really, however -"

"Can't risk the dangling bits," she interrupts sounding amused, but also serious.

"Indeed," he agrees. "Keeping all my limbs and other parts after five thousand years is no minor accomplishment."

They deliberately splash the water to make noise without losing too much water clarity and then lower the branch just enough to submerge the mice while allowing their hands to remain out of the water. They both grasp their knives.

It doesn't take long to attract the piranhas and the underwater camera shows the first to arrive biting a leg off of a mouse. The tips of both their knives can be seen plunging after it, but it escapes. The second to attack the bait is stabbed, clouding the water with blood.

Piranha have multiple razor sharp teeth that they use to tear viciously at their prey and jaws with the strength to crush bone. The locals who fish for piranha are often left with scars.

Above the water, a red piranha thrashes on Methos' knife, snapping it's large teeth and making an audible growling noise. He swings his arm wide and with a flick of his wrist flings the fish off his blade. The piranha tumbles through the air and lands with a thud as it hits the rocks on the bank. Seconds later, another lands stunned beside it, thrown by Amanda. As more fish arrive for the bait and they abandon their baited stick in favor of simply grabbing fish and tossing them on shore.

Behind Methos, something large darts out of the shallow water and the sound of it scrambling can be heard over the splashing fish.

"Gator!" Amanda shouts in alarm when she sees it.

Methos spins around and lunges too late to stop the seven foot caiman from stealing a fish. However, the reptile's long body cannot turn around so quickly and Methos blocks its path back to the water.

The Black Caiman, referred to locally as an alligator, is a fearsome predator growing as much as 16 ft or longer. It mostly preys on fish, but will ambush any animal that ventures too close to the water's edge and it is known to attack and even kill people.

Amanda joins the fray and begins pelting the caiman with rocks which it completely ignores. Tail thrashing, it acts like it's about to snap its jaws at Methos for standing in its way, but seems to remember it can't do that without dropping the fish in its mouth. Amanda grabs its tail, only to lose her grip and fall backwards onto the rocks. The distraction is enough for the caiman to begin to pass by Methos. He jumps onto its long back, but his weight does nothing to slow the caiman down.

Methos tumbles off the reptile in defeat as it slides into the water. "It's no use," he gasps out and watches as it swims away with its stolen fish.

"Yeah," Amanda sighs in agreement as she gets up from the rocks. "I'm not certain these knives would pierce the hide without breaking anyway." She frowns and asks, "We deliberately fished at midday to avoid them. Does this breed not hunt a night?"

"Opportunistic apex predator," he states the obvious with a shrug and he helps her pick up fish.

Amanda lets out a shriek when one piranha recovers enough to bite a chunk out of her hand. She thumps the fish hard against the rocks in retaliation though her injury heals in mere moments. Even Methos has to pry a piranha off of his finger before they are done.

Day 6

9:11 am | 81°

"Yesterday while it was raining," Methos says, "we were given a debriefing on what animals are endangered and protected here."

"And a list of some that are just off limits regardless of logic or sense," adds Amanda, still sounding a little resentful. "Eating a lizard and the piranhas is just dandy, but dining on monkey flesh is offensive. Who knew?"

"And it's a good thing we didn't manage to take down the Black Caiman after all. Apparently, the species is still bouncing back from aggressive hunting."

"Well, enough of that. I suppose it's time to get started on the plumbing."

They dedicate much of the day to building a bamboo pipe together. It runs from the waterfall, sloping slightly downward as it runs along the top edge of the bluff. The pipe sticks out to a spot a little outside their dugout above their heads where the water can't interfere with their usual paths. The water flows constantly, dropping to a low spot and trickling down the bank to the stream.

Amanda hands him a bamboo cup to fill and they both drink water.

"No need to climb down to the stream when we are thirsty now," Methos says proudly when it is done. "And it is high enough to be a shower."

"Much pleasanter than fighting the current or being pummeled by the waterfall to wash up," she agrees while she inspects a bundle suspended over their fire. "I think these leaves are dry enough to make a tea and a pottage will do nicely for supper."

"I'm glad you thought of adding running water to our dugout, Amanda. It was a nice change from working on the netting. I'm terribly out of practice. I think I'll build us a pair of folding chairs tomorrow."

"Methos," she says his name in a cajoling tone. "Be a dear and build a fan first, please? Even though we hang the skins in the smoke, the tanning is attracting flies. I'll finish your hammock for you," she offers to sweeten the deal.

"As you like," he agrees without hesitation. "I'm in no hurry to tie more knots."

While she sets their vegetables stewing and tackles the hammock he hasn't completed, Methos constructs a very simple water wheel under the spout. He carves fan blades and attaches them to poles and crude gears. The resulting circulating fan is a bit noisy making a rhythmic thumping sound, but the breeze it creates inside their shelter is a welcome relief from the heat and it blows away insects.

"Lovely," she compliments his work.

They both take a moment to simply enjoy standing in front of the hydropowered fan. "Far more comfortable," he says.

"Especially now that we both have hammocks," she tells him as she hands him the finished netting. "No more sleeping on dirt tonight."

On previous episodes of Naked and Afraid, none of the survivalists have attempted hydropower before. Who knows what Amanda and Methos will achieve next?

...oOo...

 End chapter 2

I promise I will get to the beer next time.

Chapter Text

Day 9

9:47 am | 83°

"Let me show you what we've made," Amanda says, gesturing with an elegant hand that belies more than a week of living in the jungle. 

"A manicure set consisting of a nail file made of bone," she pauses before adding, "wooden tweezers that we also use to debone fish. And here we have a grooming set. This razor is mine," she points helpfully to one of the finely sharpened stones. "And that one belongs to Methos because he simply refuses to grow a beard. A reflection in a puddle doesn't make for the best mirror when shaving, so I help him out a bit there. The wooden combs are dual purpose, both for untangling hair and for holding your hairstyle in place." She gestures to a second pair of combs she's wearing that keep her hair turned up out of her eyes.

"Next, are our toothbrushes, which as you can see are just bristles bound with twine and some pointed reeds. Honestly, we could do without them for the short time we are here, but we're both too modern-ified, I suppose. Knocked out teeth grow back when you are Immortal, you see, except those lost before your First Death. I sold my wisdom teeth to a denture maker and those never came back. I don't think I've ever told anyone that before," she admits softly.

"Amanda," Methos interrupts in a sympathetic voice. "I'm impressed."

She shrugs it off modestly and whispers, "I wasn't always a thief." She takes a breath and says briskly, "Moving onto our utensils. Mine are chopsticks. Methos prefers this little pointed piece of bone."

"It’s an eating knife. Good for cutting meat and picking it up, no need for a fork."

"Good way to stab yourself in the mouth is what it is. I never cared for it when it was fashionable. Safer to put food in your mouth with your hands, but less sanitary back then and now," she adds.

She returns to her tour pointing to large pieces of bark and some bamboo. "Here are our plates and bowls. No spoons. But the best are the bamboo drinking bottles with lids and these nifty little straps for traveling," she sounds extra proud of them as she points out where they'd thinned the rim allowing a second, shorter piece of bamboo to slide over it making a cap. The whole thing hangs in a netted string sleeve making it easy to carry, which Amanda demonstrates by slinging one strap over her shoulder.

"Methos, I’m tired of being cooped up," Amanda says, looking contemplative. She moves to stand on the ledge in front of their improved dugout and surveys the landscape below. "Let's build a bridge."

"Why?" he asks mildly as he puts away the tools they’d finished displaying for the camera.

"Ever since the camera crew punctured their inflatable raft, they've had to hike to a ford upstream through an area where the insects are brutal and then must backtrack to reach us here."

"It'd be simpler for us to move camp."

She shakes her head. "Ground is too low on the other side."

"I meant moving closer to their ford but not near the insects," Methos clarified. "I agree, the floodplain is dreadful. Where would you site your bridge here?"

"The current is slower today, so I like the brink of the waterfall best. Rocks are slippery, not to mention the drop, but it's shallower to stand in during construction."

He looks seriously at the waterfall for a moment before answering, "You cut the wood and I'll help you assemble it." 

At her slightly surprised expression he adds, "I'm not feeling quite as altruistic as you are. I shall supply a small portion of labor only."

"Thank you! I was sure you'd say no," says Amanda as she sets off to chop wood at the top of the bluff. 

In a quieter voice to the camera as an aside, he murmurs, "And disrupt our unbounded domesticity? Never."

As she works, Methos carries the cut poles by the armful up to the edge of the waterfall and begins to lay them in an over and under pattern while waiting for her to cut more poles. Chopping all the poles to matching lengths needed takes far longer than the actual process of assembly. 

Amanda and Methos are building a self supporting bridge. The earliest known example is the Rainbow Bridge in China which predates a similar design drawn by Leonardo da Vinci by several centuries. Construction is made without nails or ropes or notches to hold it together. Friction forces the wood to remain interlocked.

Maneuvering heavy wood while also standing in swiftly flowing water is no easy feat, yet in half an hour they completely suspend the support structure in a curve over the waterfall. Amanda lays some rough planks to step on across the beams as she makes her way over the bridge to the other side.

"Isn't it lovely? Now all of us will remain dry crossing the stream," she yells from the other side.

"Lovely!" Methos shouts back to her. But to the camera behind him he says in a deadpan tone, "Next flash flood will sweep it all away."

Day 11

6:17 am | 78°

Both Immortals are moving easily through the jungle with improved shoes to protect their feet. Each wears woven belts to hold their tools. Methos has his slingshot and both have sheaths made of hide to hold their stone knives and have a capped bamboo tube with drinking water attached to cordage handles slung over one shoulder. They also each now hold a stone tipped spear that doubles as a walk stick.

Suddenly, there is a ruckus ahead and something large and hog-like dashes across their path and plunges itself into the stream. Amanda is instantly in pursuit with her spear.

"Wait," Methos calls out to her. "That one is off limits."

"You sure?" Amanda asks as she tracks bubbles on the surface with her spear.

"Yes, it had a distinctive snout," he adds playfully tapping his own prominent nose.

The Tapir, characterized by it's long snout, is an endangered species. They are shy and run to water for safety, but will defend themselves when cornered.

Despite how soundlessly the Immortals creep, animals go silent and the foliage rustles as creatures hide when people approach. The Immortals stop and look at the cameras.

"This will not do," says Methos, gesturing to the crew off camera. "The noise all of you make is ghastly."

"Even with your best efforts to lock it up, you do startle the game," Amanda agrees, sounding like a movie director. "We worked very hard blocking out the next hunt. So, rather than disturb a hot set, we’d like you all to continue along the waterway, while Methos and I take an inland route."

"Before you protest," says Methos. "I can assure you that you will obtain sufficient video coverage."

As the camera crew proceeds as instructed, the scene becomes foliage only then changes to a bend in the stream that is shallower with a beach. Across the water, the lowland jungle is slightly less dense, but still thoroughly shaded by the canopy. Visible over the grasses, shrubs and shorter palms is a cloud of insects. They disturb a flock of birds feeding on the swarm.

The birds take flight directly into a large net the Immortals suddenly lift up on two poles.

The camera angle jostles as the crew wade across the stream and approach the Immortals. While Amanda and Methos work to bring their catch down, she compliments the crew by saying, “You were at the perfect angle to catch the action. Couldn't have gone better if we planned it.”

Methos gives Amanda an sidelong look at her poor attempt to sound like they hadn’t intentionally created the entire scenario specifically to use the noisy crew to their advantage. 

“After you lot retired to your camp yesterday evening, we discussed how the floodplain is always thick with mosquitoes and flies and plenty of birds to feed on them. So, we brought our net here and cut nearby poles to string it. Building it scared them off, so we decided to return today.”

Some birds participate in mixed flocks, hunting for food alongside other bird species and relying on other creatures to spook their preferred prey while foraging.

“We forgot to take the diary camera with us though.”

The camera does not linger on the variety of small birds they disentangle from the net, but zooms in on the Immortals’ faces rather than show them snapping the birds’ necks. 

"Breakfast or bait?"

"Both," Amanda decides as she fills her bag with the birds. “Poultry will be a nice change from fish and lizards.”

While Methos folds the net and hefts it over his shoulder, he lectures the camera.  “A net is one of the most versatile tools. People today only seem to think of fishing, which requires patience and skill to cast. This method on land is almost effortless in comparison. Could even catch monkeys with it.”

“Not permitted to eat primates,” she reminds him with a sigh as they leave the poles behind and make their way inland again rather than follow the water.

Methos’ short reply sounds like he is swearing, but it is not beeped out because no one understands what language he is speaking. 

Amanda halts abruptly and points at a plant ahead of her and asks, "Does that look like cassava to you?"

"I think so. It is!" Methos answers and the two of them drop to the ground to dig. Soon they pull up starchy tubers.

Cassava, a native plant, is a staple food for the locals. High in cyanide in its raw form, it must be cooked, soaked or fermented before it is safe to eat.

"You know what this means?” she asks rhetorically.

“We can make beer!" exclaims Methos in reply as he digs up more. They lay out the net and pile their tubers onto it. They have so many, they must lift it together. 

Amanda laughs and answers, “Well, yes. I meant we have bread now." She gives him a curious look and states, "We won't be here long enough for beer."

"I only need a sennight and I don't intend to secondary it."

"It'd be grainy as hell."

Methos shrugs his shoulders and beams a winning smile at her while batting his eyelashes. Like a child carrying too many toys, Methos has more of the vegetable in his arms than he can hold and drops some along the way.

“Okay, fine!" she says half amused, half exasperated. "You may use my bucket to brew beer. But clean it first."

"Of course, I don’t want it to taste like rat or lizard, now do I?"

“At least now I know why you were so damn excited that I brought a bucket.”

"You overestimate me. I couldn’t foresee we'd find something suitable for brewing."

She rolls her eyes, obviously not convinced before telling the camera, "Methos thinks he can brew beer from anything."

After helping deposit the tubers at their dugout, Methos leaves to fetch the bucket. From inside their shelter, Amanda retrieves yet another bamboo tube jar with a cap. She uses a long, flat piece of wood to scoop out leftover cooking fat which she then plops onto a slightly concave stone already resting on the campfire outside their shelter. White ashes from a pile in the corner of the oven goes next into the sizzling fat and she stirs it. She enlarges the fire pit, building up the flames and adds more stones to heat on the coals.

By the time Methos returns, Amanda presents him with her concoction and says simply, "Soap," before she moves on to her next task. While she peels and chops tubers, he scrubs the bucket and his mesh bag with the goopy and crude lye soap and some hot water. After thoroughly rinsing out the soap under their water pipe, he partly refills the bucket. He then submerges his mesh bag in it and carefully adds hot rocks from the fire into the bag to avoid scraping the sides.

While the rocks boil the water in the bucket, they dress their birds. A few they roast over the fire, the rest of the breast meat is wrapped in a leaf packet and goes into the oven to slowly bake. They store the remains of the carcasses in some of their bamboo tubes with caps to later use to bait traps.

Though the survivalists rest in between working on the cassava, preparing it is labor intensive and will take most of the day. The energy required means they will use more calories than they consume today.

A time lapse begins in the corner of the screen as the Immortals drop the thinnest slices of cassava into the bottom of the bucket of boiling water. In between swapping out cooled stones with hot ones from the fire to keep the bucket constantly boiling they work together grinding the rest of the cassava onto a flat rock with round smooth stones. They collect more wood and keep the fire high to heat more stones. 

“Now that the cassava somewhat resembles flour,” Methos narrates what they are doing for the camera. “It can be mixed into a paste with water and spread to dry on some palm fronds.”

The camp is surrounded by fronds in the sunlight. “We couldn’t have done this on a rainy day or deeper in the jungle where it is too shaded and constantly damp,” Amanda tells them. “That is why we are making as much as possible while the weather is good.”

Methos checks the bucket of sliced cassava, samples a piece and nods to himself. He discards the water and scoops out the cassava to cool.

“Are you going to film us begin the fermentation process?” Amanda asks the silent crew. “Thought we’d give you fair warning, since the producer declined when Methos urinated on the hides last week.”

Methos says, “They can always cut it or put it online as bonus footage.” 

They both select a cooled slice of cassava, chew it and then spit it out into the empty bucket. Every slice is given the same treatment before they resume boiling it again.

Every hour or so according to the time stamp on the corner of the screen, they go to the spread out cassava flour and mix it up bringing the dampest bits to the surface as it dries. They finish prepping the bucket of mash, squeezing fruit juice into it for sugar, add fresh water from their spout and use their rock trick to get it steaming. When they are satisfied that it is ready, they let it cool and place the plastic cover on it. 

By this time their crumbly flour is dry. Methos tests the temperature of their flattest and largest rock on the fire by sprinkling a little water on it and nodding to himself when it sizzles. He then takes a handful of flour and smashes it into a thin disc onto the heated rock. He flips it with a piece of flat bark when it's cooked on one side. Within a quarter of an hour, they have a large stack and still more flour remains to be cooked. 

Methos is making an ancient flatbread in a fashion similar to a popular local recipe for casabe. It will keep for weeks in a dry place and is suitable for traveling. Each piece they make contains about 200 calories. It is high in vitamin C, but lacks sugar and fat.

"Pop quiz," says Methos while they enjoy eating their fresh bread. "What's your favorite modern kitchen appliance?"

"The phone for ordering take-out," Amanda says. She places a piece of roasted fowl and some greens in the center of a bread round and folds it into a sandwich. "Not so many kitchens have a telephone mounted to the wall anymore, but it still counts. Why cook when someone else is happy to do it for you?"

"Agreed," he answers, laughing. "But seriously, what cooking appliance? Don't say refrigerator, it only holds the food."

"Ice cream maker. You?"

"Toaster."

"Really?"

"Don't knock a perfectly toasted slice of bread," he answers waving his flatbread. “I’m a poor cook generally.”

"Everything you've made over our camp fire and in the oven tastes good,” she protests. “You can’t really be that bad."

"In a modern kitchen, I am rubbish,” he confesses. “I can operate a hot plate and percolate coffee if the machine has a single button. But the oven and microwave are beyond me, never mind the assorted smaller gadgets."

"In other words, you haven't bothered to learn."

“What was that you said about how other people are pleased to do the cooking?” He then pauses and asks, "You make your own ice cream?"

"Well, it's nothing fancy. I mean, the appliance does all the work really," she says modestly. "I do have a rather fine chocolate ice cream recipe, if I do say so myself."

"Anything cold sounds scrumptious," he says, wiping sweat from his brow. He goes over to their hydrofan and turns it to face them.

"Yeah. Doesn't cacao grow around here? We are very close to the equator."

"In orchards probably, but wild? Hmm, let's do a bit of exploring tomorrow," suggests Methos.

Day 14

2:15 pm | 80°  

The Immortal survivalists are halfway through their twenty-one day challenge and despite all obstacles, they continue to thrive in the rainforest of Guyana.

It is raining again, yet the Immortals troop through the jungle anyway when anyone else would remain in a shelter. Each wears a hat of woven leaves nearly as wide as a small umbrella that mostly protects their upper bodies from being drenched

“Well, no luck finding a chocolate tree yet, but we have located an active animal den,” Amanda tells the camera as they move along. She is carrying fire embers in a bamboo tube and holds some dry wood close to shield it from the worst of the rain. She wears the sling shot on her belt today.

Methos is carrying the cordage net they previously used to successfully capture birds, but without the long poles this time. “We are going back there now better prepared. We need larger game.”

Broken branches and stones mark the way to the holes they previously found. The pair take a moment to judge which hole looks to be the main entrance and which is the escape hole. Finally, decision made, they stake the net around a hole, weighing down the edges to prevent anything from slipping underneath.

Methos looks up from where he is working and announces calmly, “Snake.” Even as the camera zooms in, the expertly disguised boa constrictor blends in too well to be seen until he plucks it from the green branch above him. It is only a few feet long and coils slowly for the air is a little chilly for it. Methos helps it wrap itself around a stick instead of his arm and holds it out toward Amanda.

“Perfect!” she says as she sets aside her embers and wood and takes the offered boa. “I hate smoking out holes even when there isn’t the threat of rain dousing the fire.”

Methos waits by the net while Amanda goes to the other hole and drops the snake into it. The reptile is eager to escape into the dark hole away from her. She readies the slingshot with a stone.

The Emerald Tree Boa is prolific in the rainforest and preys on amphibians, reptiles and small mammals. It kills by constricting its prey and is not venomous. Most survivalists would choose to eat a snake, but the Immortals have the luxury of employing it.

They do not wait long for results. Some brown, spotted animals scramble out of the ground in front of Methos. They growl quite fiercely in reaction to being trapped in the net. Not all are caught as some of the smaller ones slip under the edges anyway. Amanda is ready with the sling shot and hits two in quick succession, but her third stone goes wild, bounces off a tree and strikes Methos in the leg. He growls much louder than the mammals he is wrestling to contain within the net.

“Sorry!” she shouts in passing as she sprints off after their fleeing prey.

Lowland Paca or Labba, also known as the Spotted Paca from the pattern of its pelt, is a large rodent about the size of a small dog. Generally weighing between 12-25 lbs, they prefer to dine on fruits, but are known to eat cassava and sugarcane making them agricultural pests. Boa constrictors, jaguars and cayman prey on them. Labba features in several popular dishes in Guyana. The Immortals survivalists have obtained sufficient protein to sustain them for three days.

Chapter Text

Day 16

10:17 am | 84°

Amanda is standing before the camera pointing at two bird’s nests she’s found in neighboring trees. They both have eggs.

"Despite how small these eggs are, you might say 'omelette.’ But I say ‘shampoo’ when I see them. I can’t exactly candle them though.”

She takes her bamboo tube with water and tries one egg at a time. Some float and others sinks. She dries off the eggs that float and returns them to the nests. “Perhaps the birds won’t reject them," she says. “But the two that seem fresh I’ll keep.”

The scene changes. She is now back at the dugout shelter.

Amanda is heating water in a different bamboo tube, but this time she doesn't just add hot stones, but also a piece of charcoal. "I know this likely makes no sense to people watching the show, but adding a piece of charcoal to water is good. After heavy rains, the stream becomes muddy and foul," she says and points to constantly running water from their bamboo pipe system. The water is no longer clear, but slightly brown. "Charcoal improves the taste and smell."

Nearby, Methos is fashioning something which at first glance looks rather like a primitive hunting weapon.

“Sorry to disappoint those watching this show,” he says while holding up what he is working on. “But this is not a hunting bow, it is a drill.”

A Pump Drill has similarities to a Bow Drill, but requires less energy to operate it.

“I'm not going to make any bows or arrows for us either. The jungle is too dense and most of the game is very small. Worse, by the time we spot it at such close quarters the seconds necessary to ready a bow means the prey will have scarpered. Now, if we were hunting something about the size of a goat or sheep or deer in a more open setting, that would be different. Under these conditions a bow is less practical.

“This drill will help me make better holes and can also be used as a backup fire starter if needed,” he continued. “But mostly, I’m using it to make holes for new shoes because I lost my best awl.”

Day 18

8:32 pm | 75°

The Immortals are eating a leisurely meal by their fire. The view is fixed, coming from a camera attached to a tree.

Amanda asks, “What was this rodent named again?”

“I don’t recall,” Methos answers. "It is more tasty than the lizards."

"The herbs you found add nicely to he flavor," she compliments him. "I actually don't miss salt."

The Red-Rumped Agouti the Immortals are eating lives in large communities in the rainforests. They typically weighs between 6-13 lbs and are on average a little over 20 inches long. 

"How many Watchers do you think are hiding in the crew?" Methos asks when their food critiquing conversation wanes.

"I will guess..." she pauses, as though she is deciding, before giving him a knowing look and stating the obvious. "Two."

“One for you and one for me?” he replies, looking amused and adds, "Why not all of them?"

"Don't be silly, they couldn't possibly recruit or substitute the entire crew with Watchers."

"Hey, I'm just saying this show is about documenting life, isn’t it? Just like the Watchers. The crew aren't allowed to talk to us. Just like the Watchers. The only difference I see is we accepted an invitation to do this. Also, the cameras aren't hidden."

Still looking skeptical she says, "I'm changing my guess to none of them are Watchers."

"Is that so?"

"Who wants to trek through the jungle when they already know where we are going. If the Watchers somehow can’t obtain a copy of all the unedited video, which would greatly surprise me, they can always simply watch the episode when it airs."

"Good point."

Day 19

8:09 am | 65°

Methos and Amanda prepare early for their hunt, securing their shelter and waiting impatiently for the camera crew in a time lapse.

Finally, Amanda walks over to the tree mounted camera and says, “As we mentioned last night, we intend to do our last hunt today to allow us to relax until extraction. I hope whatever has delayed the crew isn’t serious, but you understand we can’t linger any longer. It is already well past dawn. We will record with the diary camera as much as we can until you catch up." She clips their small, portable camera to her netted pack and points in the direction away from the stream to indicate where they are going.

Having missed the Immortal survivalists’ departure, the camera crew later set off in the direction indicated. After several hours, they fail to locate the pair in the jungle and the producer calls off the search. The crew waits at the dugout. As more hours pass without any sign of the Immortals, the crew are ordered to return to their own camp and prepare for an impending thunderstorm.

Three days and nights of heavy rain prevents the crew from leaving their camp. When the weather clears, a drone searches the air for a smoke signal rising above the canopy. When none is located, the producers conclude the jungle is too wet for fire. Concerns are voiced about whether the storm’s lightning was perhaps a cover for a Quickening. Further searching of the area begins in earnest when the weather clears.

At last, both Immortal survivalists are found to have returned to their shelter.

Day 23

10:19 am | 72°

The image changes to the camera’s view as it is carried through the dense jungle. Over the chittering of insects and bird calls there is the sound of singing and laughter. The footage skips ahead to the crew’s arrival at the dugout.

“Together forever and never to part!” Amanda warbles.

Methos joins in loudly bellowing from where he is sprawled in front of their shelter, “Together forever we two!”

Both of them are covered in gold.

Large sheets hammered thin and curved into bracers and torques are stacked heavily around the Immortals’ necks, shoulders and arms. They even wear a few hooked onto their woven belts and their ankles. They are nearly fully clothed by the gold.

“Prithee,” Amanda sings the old fashioned word and waves a cup made of gold, not one of the bamboo cups they made. The gold shines in the sun as she swings in one of the netted hammocks.

Methos stops singing and moves with a good deal of clanking from the pieces of gold on his arms to look inside the plastic five gallon bucket in which beer had been brewing for over two weeks. “‘Tis gone,” he declares.

“Thou liest!” she shouts and she drops unsteadily from her hammock. Several gold combs are dislodged from her hair.

Methos waves a hand in her general direction without looking at her and demands, “Importune me no farther!”

Amanda notices the crew at last. “How now? Who is this?”

“Good morrow!” Methos addresses them before suddenly changing to an unknown language or possibly gibberish. No attempt is made to translate it in the subtitles.

“Mind not the drunkard,” Amanda declares, her voice slurring. “Will take a goodly nap to restore his wit.”

“My lady is wonderful froward,” he replies in a snide tone and then cheerfully provides his own translation of his earlier speech. “I say again, is her raiment not fair? Gaze your fill upon pearl and gold.”

In addition to the gold they are wearing there is more laying on the ground around them and pearls spilling from one of the cloth bags given to them at the start of the challenge. As the camera takes it all the treasure, the view pauses briefly on the beer dregs remaining in the bucket before it turns to focus on the handheld diary camera resting on a rock.

As the Immortal survivalists promised, they recorded as much as they could while separated from our camera crew and far from camp.

Despite the narrator, the video shown on screen is brief and time stamps show they traveled and hunted for several hours over the course of the first day they were missing.

Day 19

1:49 pm | 72°

“Smell that?” Methos says, looking back at Amanda who holds the camera. 

“Storm coming. Bad one,” Amanda’s voice is heard saying.

“I wish we could see the horizon to judge when it will hit.” He looks up grimacing at the dense and tall trees surrounding them. “Keep going or turn back?”

“Keep going,” she decided. “Easier to hunt game before the rain comes.”

Day 19

3:42 pm | 69°

The scene changes to Amanda’s face. The screen is slightly fogged and there is the sound of rain. 

“We came across a bit of a cliff overhang and decided to wait it out for the night.”

She moves the view to show they have a small fire which Methos is shielding with his body. He is roasting chunks of meat on sticks. “I don’t anticipate these cooking much before the damp takes the rest of our fuel.”

“Medium rare will do nicely,” she says encouragingly.

He laughs goodnaturedly and says, “Might be tartare.”

Day 20

10:22 am | 65°

“The storm seems to be growing less now,” Methos must shout to be heard over the sound of rain. “The wind soaked the entirety of our makeshift shelter. Since we won’t get any drier or warmer here and we only have a day’s worth of travel bread with us, we will return to camp in the rain.”

Day 21

9:02 am | 63°

“As you can see, the storm has not ceased. Also, this is extraction day,” Methos says to the camera. “And most importantly, we are lost. The lowlands flooded, forcing us to detour. But it wouldn’t have mattered since I’m sure the rain washed away our trail markers anyway. It has created lakes, waterfalls and rivers where there were none before rendering our map mostly useless.”

Amanda’s face appears on the screen next to Methos. “Originally, we were supposed to travel a mere four miles up the river from our camp and pass the Grass Falls rapids to reach extraction,” she says glumly. “We traveled much further than that yesterday and have no idea if the many waterfalls and rapids we came across are temporary or the landmark we are looking for.”

“So, we are assuming we passed it already and will turn around.”

Day 22

9:02 pm | 56°

The screen is totally dark. There is no video to play, only the recording of their voices captured by the microphones they wear. Something both of them seem to have forgotten.

“Is it broken?” asks Amanda’s voice.

“I think so,” answers Methos. “View screen is glitched anyway.”

“So, we can’t estimate how long the camera's battery will last.”

“Afraid not.”

“Well, the ambient light is better than nothing,” she sounds like she is trying to cheer them both up.

“I can try the record button if you like, maybe we can leave a message if it still works?”

“And say what? We drowned, we were swept away into a cave, we have no idea how long we were dead and now we are effectively buried alive. Anyone who finds the camera would find us.”

“And El Dorado.”

“This is hardly the lost city of Inca gold, more like a stash,” she said with an uncharacteristic lack of enthusiasm.

“Which someone intended to come back for," Methos reminds her. "Therefore there must be a way out.”

“Probably the way we were washed in, which is flooded.”

“Can’t be that way, unless it doesn’t normally remain flooded.”

“We’ll listen for the sound of the water to recede,” he says. “And use the camera’s glow to find our way out.”

“Sounds like a plan,” she replies. “Methos, if we get out..”

“When,” he says, interrupting her.

“When,” she echos with a half-hearted sigh. “When we find the way out, will you help me come back for the gold?”

…

During their twenty-three days in the rainforest of Guyana the Immortal Survivalists thrived. They worked well together to construct a sturdy shelter, a bridge, plumbing, a hydropower system, oven, tools, weapons, clothing and displayed highly efficient hunting and gathering skills. They had time for leisure, brewing and accidentally discovered a hoard of Inca gold.

Amanda leaves having gained 8 lbs and Methos has gained 11 lbs. 

Despite that they missed extraction, both of them increase their PSR (Primitive Survival Rating) to 10.0, the highest score ever given because they have proved they can survive Naked and Afraid.