Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The first time Julian made Cap angry was on the first night they met. Not that Cap’s keeping count or anything.

The phone was ringing.

The phone was ringing again.

Cap sighed and picked it up.

To say that the person on the end of the phone was rude was an understatement.

Cap apologised repeatedly for things that he didn’t even know about and eventually the person hung up whilst Cap was in mid-sentence.

There were still 3 hours before he got to go home.

And then what is he going to do at home?

Nothing really.

He had exactly 0 things lined up.

Still, nothing can be good too.

Nothing. 82 days in a row.

The phone rang and Cap sighed again.

Eventually Cap left work and was sat in his car.

There had to be something new he could do. The most he does to spice up his life has hang around the theatre to try and catch a glimpse of that nice assistant director he might, maybe, possibly have a bit of a crush on.

The theatre wasn’t open today (well, it’s not open yet) so Cap couldn’t loiter around without looking suspicious or kind of creepy.

Well, home it is then.

He was half-way home he suddenly had a thought. A couple of years ago he had joined a social group, but left it pretty quick when it became apparent that there was people there who held some very homophobia views and seeing as they weren’t going to go, Cap stopped attending.

But perhaps there’s some new groups he could join.

He turned down a side road and parked up.

Then he pulled out his phone and started to google. There had to be something around here.

He quickly found the website and searched via location.

Arts and crafts? No, he’s not into that.

Reading group? No thanks.

Board game society? Not really.

OAPs society? He was only 23.

Out of town, out of town, out of town, out of town. ‘By location’. These were 2 hours away. Oh, there was an LGBT society. But again, that was the next city over.

Cap sighed and dropped his phone on the seat opposite. 

So there was nothing nearby. Now what?

Well.

He could always.

Start a group up himself.

That was always an option.

Cap drummed his fingers on the steering wheel and glanced back at his phone.

What would it even be about? A generic social group? That could work. Or perhaps an LGBT group. The next city over was quite a way away.

Cap picked up his phone again and went back onto the website.

What would he even do? He knew there was a quiz night every other Wednesday at a pub in town. Or he could just meet up for drinks and discussion. That would be good. If anyone else joined their could suggest stuff.

… Would anyone even come?

Well, he’d never know if he didn’t try.

He clicked ‘start group’. Then he had to create an account.

Once he did that he went back to his new account.

Group name: Cap put in the city name then 'LGBT'. He looked at it for a moment before adding a ‘Q+’ at the end. There, that should work.

Description: Cap drummed his fingers again. ‘This is a social group for any LGBTQ+ people for people in the city and the surrounding areas.

'I-’, Cap got rid of that and replaced it with ‘we plan to have weekly meetups where we can cultivate discussions regarding the LGBTQ+ community and-’ Cap sighed as he wrote this next part. ‘Make friends. Other events can be added as they come available, such as quiz nights, games nights, bowling, ice skating, etc.

Attending every event isn’t mandatory, so feel free to pick and choose which ones you want to come to.

If you have any questions, feel free to get in contact with us.

Good luck.

The Captain.’

There, that’ll do.

Next, interests: Cap selected a few and moved one. The next thing was a £10.99/month subscription plan. Well then, that wasn’t much he could do about that.

He finished setting his group up and created a new event. ‘New Members Night’, next Wednesday. At the pub with the quiz. That should give anyone who turned up to chat then have an activity. That should do. Should he book a table? No, not now, nobody might even show up. If it did good then he could book one for another meeting.

Once he was done he put his phone away and started to drive again.

When he arrived home he checked his phone again.

Oh.

There was already somebody interested. Not only had they joined the group but they also said they were going to the Wednesday meeting.

It was a person called Patrick.

Cap should really send them a greeting message. That’s usually the polite thing to do.

‘Hello Patrick.

Thank you for your interest in my group. I hope to see you at our events. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me about them.

Thank you.

The Captain.’

It was as Cap was making tea did Pat respond.

‘Hi Cap, Thanks for your message. I’m really looking forward to this, I’ve been wanting to be a part of an LGBTQIA+ group for ages, it’s a wonderful experience and I can’t wait to share with others. If there’s anything I can do to help, just let me know. Cheers, Pat’

Mmm, help. Cap might take them up on that offer. Even ignoring that fact that Pat just called him ‘Cap’.

‘Hello Patrick.

Thank you for your offer. This is a new group so we’ll see how it goes. I could use your help.

Thank you.

The Captain.’

This conversation went slowly back and forth as the week carried on until somebody else put their interest in. Or a couple of people. Called Mike and Alison.

A similar conversation went on with them and Wednesday quickly rolled around. It was in the morning that somebody else joined.

They were called Julian.

Within one conversation interaction Cap got the feeling that he didn’t like Julian. Or that Julian liked him.

Cap really didn’t expect him to turn up.

So.

Cap was wrong.

Julian turned up.

They were tall, blonde and had a smug look on their face.

“Why are you called the Captain anyway?” Was the first thing Julian said to him.

“Because that’s my name.” The Captain grunted.

“Hi, I’m Pat.” Another person chirped loudly, obviously diverting attention off all that and into him. “I can’t wait to get to know all of you. I’m keen to help out too.”

“Thank you, Patrick.” Cap said, tearing his gaze away from Julian and onto Pat. They were dressed like a scout?

“You’re a scout…?” Cap muttered quietly.

Pat laughed. “Yeah, I’m a scout leader, I didn’t quite have time to change after work. So you’re Cap, that’s right?”

“The Captain, yes.”

“I’m Julian.” Julian said. “And I suppose we have the misfortune of being the first group?”

“It’s not a misfortune, it’s exciting.” Pat said.

“Exciting? Ha.” Julian shook their head. “So what are we doing in this LGBT group? We could always look at getting necessary funds in an... entertaining method.”

“I’m getting the idea you just tried to insinuate we do porn in this club.” Cap said.

“Well, duh.” Julian said. “It’s kinda what I was expecting.”

“No, absolutely not.” Cap squawked. “I doubt the application will even let you do specific things 18+ clubs.”

“Oh, well that’s disappointing.”

“If you don’t like it you can always go.” Cap said.

Julian hmfd but stayed where he was.

Suddenly a couple more people appeared by the table they were standing at.

“Hi, is this the meet up? We’re Alison and Mike.” One said.

“Ah, yes, of course.” Cap said. He held out his hand and shook both of theirs. “I think that’s everyone for the moment. Let’s go get a table.”

“I’m going to get some food.” Pat said. “Does anyone want anything?”

Nobody else did and Pat split to order.

“So why did you make this anyway?” Julian asked as they all sat down.

“Well I wasn’t doing much else and I thought this would be helpful.” Cap explained.

“So you were miserable, lonely, and are now begging for friends.” Julian said. “That sounds about right for you.”

Before Cap could even respond Alison jumped in.

“Cap’s right, this could be very helpful for people. You made a good call doing this one.”

“Yeah, great idea.” Mike added.

Cap glared at Julian and slowly turned to Alison and Mike. “Thank you, I hope it can help somebody.”

Pat returned with a drink.

“So I think we should all do introductions.” He said, taking the last chair. “I’ll go first shall I?”

“Yes, Patrick, that will do nicely.” Cap said.

“Well, I’m Pat, I work as a scout leader, hence the outfit, I’ve just come from work. I’m pan and he/him pronouns. I think that might be everything.”

Cap nodded, “very good, Patrick. My name is the Captain. I work at an inwards call centre. I’m gay and he/him too.”

“I’m Alison, her/she, and this is my husband, Mike. We’re both bi.” Alison said, gesturing between her and Mike.

Julian sighed and folded his arms. “I’m Julian, I’m bi and he/him too.”

Cap nodded. “Well then, I think the quiz starts at 8, so it shouldn’t be too much longer. Why don’t we go though are options of things to do whilst we wait.”

“That’s a great idea!” Pat said. “I think I have my folder with my actually, we can jot down ideas.” And at that Pat rummaged through his backpack and pulled out a folder.

“Perhaps we can could do talk night every so often, we can do a talk on our orientations and such.”

“Oh wow, that sounds.” Julian said with a complete monotone.

“That’s great, Pat. We should definitely do that.” Alison said, glaring at Julian.

“Excellent,” Cap said loudly, also glaring at Julian. “I’ll go first shall I?”

“Of course,” Pat said, seemingly oblivious. He opened his folder and jotted something down. “We can plan for next week maybe?”

“Spectacular.”

“Hush, Julian.” Cap hissed as Mike asked Pat something.

“It’s only my opinion.” Julian shot back quietly

Cap continued to glare as the table descended into general chatter as everyone (Mike and Alison with Pat) continued to get to know each other.

Julian was still making snide comments towards Cap. Cap wasn’t sure why, but it was really starting to wind him up.

Eventually the bar handed out the quiz tablets and Mike rubbed his hands together.

“Oh, I’m good at this no problem!” Mike announced.

“I’m holding you to that.” Alison laughed.

The quiz… surprising didn’t go horribly. They were doing quite well until it came to a certain round where you had to buzz in with the answers. Julian kept buzzing in and expecting Cap to answer… regardless of the question.

Cap glared at him as another question was asked. Before Julian could even move Cap darted forward and dragged the tablet away from him.

Julian hmpfed and sat back with his arms crossed.

They managed to get through the rest of the rounds without much incident. Pat, Mike and Alison seemed to be enjoying themselves a lot, laughing and joking between themselves, even when they got a question wrong. Julian leant forward, inputting his comments here and there. Cap remained silent for much of it but added something every now and then whenever Pat shot him a glowing beam.

When the quiz ended, they didn’t win. They didn’t lose either. They came 7th out of 14. This was really remarkable with Julian messing around.

“Oh wow,” Pat exclaimed. “Look at the time. I really need to shoot off.”

It was, indeed, 23:00.

“Yeah, we really should too.” Alison said. “Bye guys.” She and Mike disappeared out the pub.

“Yes, I really should be getting off now.” Cap muttered.

Julian tutted. “Squares.”

“Oh well, excuse me for needing to get a good night’s sleep.” Cap snapped.

“Well, if Julian wants to stay, let him be.” Pat said. “Come on, where are you parked?”

“I parked a couple of streets away.” Cap said.

“Oh, I got a spot just outside. Bye Julian, hope to see you again soon.” Pat said brightly.

Both Pat and Cap left the pub. Pat had, as he had said, gotten a parking spot just outside.

“I know some pubs where we could book out a room for ourselves to do talk nights. I’ll send you a few tomorrow morning and you can look through them.” Pat said. “They’re all close around town.”

“Excellent. I’ll check around them and look for their availability.”

Cap waved as Pat got into his car. It was only as Pat drove off did Cap start to make his way to his own car.

It was then he became aware that someone was following him.

Cap suddenly stopped and with his fists clenched, wheeled around to see whoever was following him.

It was Julian.

“Good God, man, what do you want?” Cap shouted.

“Look, everyone else has gone, come back for a drink with me.” Julian said.

“What, why on earth would I even consider doing that?”

“Because, come on, we both like each other-”

“We do?” This was news to Cap.

“Yes, of course we do…” Julian trailed off. “You do, don’t you?”

“Absolutely not.” Cap snapped. “With an attitude like yours I’m surprised anyone likes you.”

Julian frowned and grit his teeth. “Oh, like your attitude is any better, all that stony cold exterior and what sort of name is ‘The Captain’ anyway?”

“That’s my name.” Cap hissed.

“It’s a weird fucking name. Is that why you had to make a group to make friends?”

“I have plenty of friends.”

“Mmm, sure you do.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?!”

“Well, it means what it sounds like.” Julian said, folding his arms. “Who really makes a group like this to make friends?”

“Well then, why are you here- oh yes, that was right, you thought it was to make porn right.”

“Sadly I was mistaken, I was mistaken by everything else tonight too.”

“Well you don’t have to come to the next one.” Cap hissed. Before he could turn to leave Julian answered.

“Oh, I am coming to the next one. I want to be here to see this whole thing crash.”

“What an awful thing to want to do.”

“But I bet it’s going to happen.” Julian said before turning away himself. “Bu-bye.”

Then Julian left, leaving Cap stood in the middle of the street, seething with rage.

This was the first time Julian made Cap angry. Not that Cap was going to start keeping count.

The 286th time Julian made Cap angry was right now, three years later. But who’s keeping count, right?

The group was ice skating. Or at least Cap was trying to ice skate.

Why on earth he decided to take them all ice skating was beyond him. He couldn’t ice skate.

He couldn’t ice skate. Neither could Kitty, judging by her death grip on Mary. Neither could Alison or Mike, but at least they were grabbing hold of each other to stop from falling over. Pat was half and half, he could slowly make this way across the rink without touching the sides, but just watching him made Cap nervous.

The rest of the group could ice skate. Even Humphrey. Somehow.

But back to Julian.

Julian had stolen Cap’s gloves and had taken off across the rink at lightning speed.

“Julian, get back here!” Cap shouted, shaking as he left the side to try and chase after Julian.

Try being the key word.

Cap did not get very far.

He grabbed back hold of the side and Julian appeared back at his side.

“Oh wow, what a distance you’ve crossed, Cap.” Julian laughed.

“Give me my gloves back, Julian.” Cap gasped, once again trying to let go of the side.

“I don’t have them.” Julian said, shrugging.

“Where are they then?”

It was then that Thomas went sailing by, fiddling with the gloves.

“Thorne, give them back to me!” Cap yelled.

Thomas jumped and quickly shoved the gloves into Robin’s hands and disappeared into the crowd. Robin blinked and glanced at the gloves then at Cap.

“Robin, give them back.” Cap said.

Robin’s eyes floated from Cap across the rink. He then grinned and suddenly started to cross the rink again.

“Robin, get back here!” Cap tried to let go of the side again, only to grab hold of Julian instead, who was shaking with laughter.

“This is all your fault.” He snapped at Julian who just continued to laugh.

The pair slowly made their way around the rink until Fanny suddenly appeared by their side, skating backwards.

“Who’s gloves are these? And why did the ape throw them at me?”

“I’ll take them, don’t worry.” Julian said before Cap could say anything. “Thank you, Fanny.” He added as he took them off her. “I’ll go store these away.” Then Julian untangled himself from Cap and took off towards an exit. Fanny tutted and, much like Thomas, disappeared into the crowd.

It was only then that Cap realised he was in the middle of the rink, by himself, with no-one there to help him back to the edge of the rink.

“Julian! Julian!” Cap shouted, but Julian didn’t return to help him.

“Are you stuck?” Came Thomas’ voice.

“Thorne! Of course I’m not stuck.” Cap said. Unfortunately this didn’t hold up as Cap nearly dropped to the ice, only stopping by grabbing hold of Thomas.

“Do you need help getting off.” Thomas asked.

“... Take me back to the side.” Cap eventually muttered.

When they reached the side of the rink, Julian appeared back on the ice, grinning.

“Aww, Cap, big and strong and you need all this help to travel a few meters.”

Okay, 287th time. But again, who’s counting.

Chapter Text

Mary got another strike.

That made her 70 points and they had only made it into the 4th round.

The group cheered as Mary shyly took her seat (well, most of them cheered, Fanny didn’t).

“Well done, Mary.” Cap said. “I thought you said you’ve never bowled before.”

“I nots beens before.” Mary said. “Beginners luck.”

“Beginners luck is what I’d say if you got a strike the first time, not five times in a row.” Julian muttered.

“You’re doing really well.” Pat clapped.

“Oh no, I got another gutter.” Came Kitty’s voice from where she was at the lane.

“Not to worry, Kitty, have your second go and see how you do that time.” Pat said gently.

“That’s a good idea, yeah.” Kitty then picked up a bowling ball. And promptly dropped it. “Oh, that was the heavy one.”

The group settled back down after the impact caused them all to jump. Mike had unfortunately spilt half his drink down himself as he jumped.

Cap went and picked up the ball once it became apparent Kitty couldn’t lift it again, wincing slightly as his knees cracked loud enough for everyone to start taking the piss out of him.

“What’s crack-a-lacking, Cap?” Julian asked, smirking.

“Boom, crack, the sound of his joints.” Thomas chimed in.

“Now really!” Cap snapped.

“Yeah, guys, come on, just because the sounds of his knees woke people up in Japan isn’t an excuse to make fun of him.” Alison said as she helped Mike attempt to mop up his spilt drink.

“Thank you Alison- hang on!” But Alison had already dissolved into laughter with Mike.

Kitty thanked Cap for putting the ball away and picked up the correct ball.

This time she didn’t get a gutter ball and clapped as she got 3 pins.

“That’s great, Kitty, well done!” Pat said.

The game continued and Mary’s score continued to climb, though Cap quickly started to catch up until they were nearly neck and neck. Surprisingly Kitty wasn’t last. That position went to Humphrey. Poor guy was really struggling to keep it on the lane at all.

“Come on, Mary, you can’t let Cap win.” Alison shouted as Mary shuffled over for her next go.

“Go Mary, go Mary, go Mary!” Mike, Humphrey, Robin and Kitty started to chant.

Cap grunted as the rest of them stayed silent. “Aren’t any of you going to cheer me on?”

“Oh right, go Cap.” Pat cheered, admittedly half-heartedly.

“No I will most certainly not ‘cheer you on’.” Fanny grumbled.

“I will,” Thomas said. “If you will next to listen to my-”

“No thank you, Thomas, I’ll pass on your slam poetry.”

“Go kill it out there, Mary.” Julian said instead.

Cap rolled his eyes and nodded at Mary who was looking back at them all in some confusion, clutching the ball to her chest.

She got another strike.

Kitty, unfortunately, got two more gutter balls.

Then it was Julian’s turn again.

Julian was doing fairly well. Quite well in fact. He was coming third.

“Well, anyway, Cap,” Julian said, picking up a bowling ball. “You’re not even coming to be coming in second in a minute.” He lined up down the lane and went to launch the ball.

Unfortunately there was a slight hiccup.

That being, during Julian’s arc, he may have let go of the ball a little prematurely.

Instead of going forwards, it was backwards.

The group screeched and dove out of the way as the ball went flying towards them.

“Julian, are you trying to murder us?” Cap roared as the ball slammed into the wall opposite.

“Oh, sorry about that.” Julian said, pottering through them to retrieve it. “But rest assured, if I was trying to murder you it wouldn’t be a bowling ball to the head.”

“Is everything okay over here?” Came the sudden voice of a staff member.

“Yes, everything’s fine.” Julian said fast. Too fast.

The staff member turned slowly to look at the hole the bowling ball had created in the wall.

“Now, look- look- what’s- t-t-t-the thing is- is- is- it’s not like- that was there when we got here.” Julian blurted out.

“Right…” The staff member said slowly.

“Oh, Julian.” Cap sighed.

“Oh, Julian!” Cap shouted, stood in the middle of the streets. “Banned! You got us banned!”

“Look, it was just a small hitch-”

“Banned, Julian!”

“Well, it’s hardly my fault if they-”

“For life, Julian!”

“Well- I-”

“Why didn’t you just apologise?” Pat asked.

“And pay for it, you can probably afford to redo the entire alley.” Thomas said.

“But I, look, if I can just say my reasoning-”

“No reasoning for no bowling.”

“Robin, look, if I can just-”

“But I liked bowling.” Kitty whined.

“And if we could have stayed you might have even become good at it.” Thomas muttered.

“I didn’t really like bowling.” Humphrey said, though nobody responded to him.

“And still, it remains,” Cap was still shouting. “That Julian got us all banned!”

“Look, I said there was a good reason why I wouldn’t pay for the damaged-”

“Or apologise.”

“Pat, I can tell you if-”

“Everybody, shut it!” Alison suddenly yelled, cutting across the whittering voices. “Now, yes, Julian got us banned, but there’s other bowling alleys we can go to.”

“And besides,” Mike added. “It was only Julian who wrecked the place, it was a bit rubbish of them to ban us all.”

“So, if our games be ended, does that means I’s won?” Mary asked.

“Yeah, I think it does, Mary.” Julian answered.

“Oh yeah, and whose fault is it that we didn’t get to finish?” Cap said through gritted teeth. “You know what, I’m done for the night, I’m going home. You can take Mary home.”

“What?” Both Julian and Mary said in union.

“Because I don’t want to ride with you, Robin, can I drive?”

“Er, what?” Robin blinked.

“Your motorbike. I want to be on a motorbike but I want to drive.”

“Can you-?”

“Yes, I can drive a motorbike,” Cap snapped. “Come on, let’s go. Bye.”

“Oh, see ya everyone.” Robin muttered, taking the spare helmet from Mary and trailing after Cap. He tossed Cap the keys once they reached the bike and then handed Cap the spare helmet.

Once the bike roared into life Cap muttered, “288.”

“What?” Robin asked from where he’d settled behind Cap.

“Oh nothing, ignore me.”

It was two days later when Cap received a message from Julian. Cap put aside the knife he was using to cut carrots and picked up his phone to see what Julian had put.

‘Sorry :( ’ Was all it said.

‘You really should be apologising to the alley.’ Cap replied.

‘Wanted to apologise to you more ’

‘And anyway mike was right it was a dick move to ban us all instead of just me im guessing its cause theyre home of phobic ’ Julian added.

‘Well, I never put who our group was so they had no way of knowing unless they internet stalked us.’ Cap replied. ‘So my money is more on they were just massive dicks.’

‘So am i forgiven oh dearest most beloved family member? ’ Julian asked.

‘Don’t push it, you’re still on my warning period.’

‘You say that about everything ’

‘Yeah, because you’re permanently on there.’ Cap replied.

‘What on earth have i done to deserve that? ’

‘This list, how do you want it? Chronologically or alphabetically? ’

‘Hhaha ’

‘One way you can redeem yourself, bring a killer topic to this week’s discussion meeting and I might let it go.’

‘Oh well then i might bring up the topic of when i was in uni my roommate was found ’ was the first text, probably sent early on accident and the box indicated that Julian was finishing the text.

‘It has to be relevant to the meet-up group.' Cap text as fast as he could.

‘Blast’ came the only reply. This was eventually followed up by ‘Ill bring my a-game dont worry ’

‘I try not to about you.’ Cap messaged back. ‘Worrying about you stresses my out far too much to be healthy.’

‘I would recommend actually caring about me a lot ’

‘Julian, I care about you far too much, that's why I can’t worry about you too.’

‘Awww cap youre being soft again ’

‘I will resolve to be tougher next time we speak.’

‘I like you being soft its cute you can compliment me if youre looking how to be more cute ’

‘Exactly why I need to be tougher.’

‘Being cute is good be more cute cap it might help you get together with that director you keep fawning over ’

Cap sighed and text back. ‘I doubt that’ll help me with Adam, and I do not keep fawning over him.’ Then he sent another message. ‘If you apologise to me face-to-face, I’ll compliment you the next time we see each other, would that be enough? ’

‘Thatll be great cap ;) ’

Chapter Text

“Last term are-”

“Is.”

“Is are amorous.”

Robin was stood by the whiteboard, grinning, whilst Thomas stood awkwardly next to him.

“Amorous can be want for QPR-”

“Queerplatonic Relationship which we discussed earlier.” Thomas added.

“Not is non-amorous. Or can be called aplatonic,” Robin continued. “Much debate between which word to use, lotta connotations on both, lotta-” Robin stopped and sighed, looking as thought it physically pained him to say the next word. “‘discourse’ around it.” He stopped and thought again. “Me use ‘amorous’-”

“I!”

“And me ‘non-amorous’.” Robin finished, ignoring Thomas. “No desire for QPR. Can get squishes though.” He then spun on his heel toward Thomas. “Add?”

Thomas jumped at being addressed. Thomas very rarely wanted to talk about his aromanticism but since Robin joined them he had been brought into discussing that aspect of himself a bit more.

“Add?” Thomas gasped. He stopped and rubbed his arm. “I guess I am amorous, I would like a QPR.”

Robin nodded and turned back to face the room. “That everything.”

“Well done you two.” Pat said, clapping his hands together.

“Yes. Very well put together.” Cap said. It really was, coming from somebody who struggled with communicating and someone who didn’t want to speak about the subject.

Robin beamed and scurried over to the portable projector to helped Pat to turn it off and store it away.

Thomas took a seat and folded his arms, refusing to look at anyone. It was a little sad, Cap thought, he really hoped Robin being here would help Thomas come to terms with his orientation.

Once Pat and Robin came back Cap stood up to the front of the group.

“Now, it should be time to arrange for our trip to the beach this Saturday.” Cap said.

“Oh yes, I’m really looking forward to it!” Kitty chirped.

“Yes, I’m aware, Katherine, you’ve told me enough times.” Cap muttered. “Anyway,” Cap carried on. “Transport. I, thankfully, finally have my car back so I can take 4 others.”

“If I had my camper now I could take all of us together.” Pat said. “But I can 4 as well.”

“That leaves us one short.” Cap said.

“Two short.” Julian said.

“No, I don’t think so. There are 11 of us.” Cap said.

“One, two, three, four, five… Oh yes, there are aren’t they.” Kitty said happily.

“There’s going to be 12 of us.” Julian said, oh god he was smirking, why was he smirking? “I’ve invited Adam.”

289.

“Adam? As in the guy Cap has a crush on, Adam?” Alison asked.

“The very same.” Julian said.

“Why have you invited Adam? What possible reason do you have for inviting Adam?” Cap spluttered.

“Well firstly, he’s bi, so that’s all the reasoning I need.” Julian said. “Oh, and he’s riding in your car. I’ll happily let him have my seat.”

“My car?” Cap squawked.

“Yeah, I figured it’d help him get to know the others too.” Julian was smirking even more now.

“How did you find out he’s bi?” Thomas asked.

“I have my ways, you know.” Julian said.

“He be asking him.” Mary said. “Straight up.”

“So you just went up to him and asked him?” Fanny said. “How incredibly rude.”

“Nobody else has thought to help Cap.” Julian said. “I was just trying to move things along.”

“You went behind my back and betrayed me!” Cap snapped.

“Betrayed you? I introduced you.” Julian gasped. “When you and him are going at it you’re not going to be thinking that.”

At that the whole room erupted into chaos.

The Saturday was sunny.

Cap’s car was purring as he rolled in front of Julian’s house (as per Julian’s request despite not travelling up with him).

Julian was waiting for him outside his house next to- oh God, Adam. The pair were chattering away, without a care in the world.

Cap bristled. What was Julian playing at? He hadn’t even noticed him.

He wound down the window and lent across the front.

“Julian!”

It pleased Cap to see Julian jump slightly. He glared at Cap and made his way over to him.

“Hi, Cap, ready for your trip down to the beach?”

“Seeing as you’ve already agreed for me to, yes.” Cap muttered.

“Well, okay,” Julian stretched and stepped away from the car. “I guess I’d better go and pick everyone else up, Adam, I’ll see you later.” And with that he disappeared.

“He’s been acting a bit odd have you noticed?” Came Adam’s voice suddenly.

Cap himself jumped and snapped his head towards the still open window.

“He always acts a bit odd.” Cap said.

“And thank you for taking me, I have wanted to join for a while, work just kept getting in the way.” Adam said.

“Oh- no- no problem,” Cap stammered. “I’m glad you’ve been interested in me- us- the group.”

“Well, let me know how much I should put in for petrol.”

“Oh, no need. It’s fine.” Cap said. “Just call it a welcoming gift.”

Adam laughed and got in the car. As he buckled himself in Cap gripped hold of the steering wheel harder, turning to stare straight out of the window as his heartbeat started to speed up.

“So what music have you got?” Adam asked. “For our hour drive.”

“You can pick.” Cap said quietly. “I’d trust your choice.”

Adam laughed, flicking through the CD’s Cap had. “I’ll hold you to that.”

The drive down was surprisingly okay. Better than okay, it was great. Adam had picked some nice music and they had managed to hold a conversation which wasn’t awkward in the slightest, probably more due to Adam’s quick thinking conversational skills than it was Cap’s bad jokes.

They spent quite a lot of their time discussing their favourite foods, their favourite destinations, their favourite animals; Adam’s was a sheepdog. They both liked London and would like to travel there. Cap had hummed as he thought about that. Perhaps he could put on a trip to London?

They reached their destination well before the others and decided to hang around the railings by the sea.

Adam was staring out to sea, a beam on his face. Cap could have stared at him all day but was pulled from doing that as his phone came off driving mode and went absolutely insane.

Cap scowled and pulled it out of his pocket, dragging his eyes off Adam.

Of course they were all messages from Julian.

Oh, no wait, one was from Thomas.

‘Passing that Italian place.’ Was from Thomas. That was about 15 minutes ago. They should be here very soon.

Then Cap decided he might as well read Julian’s. They could have crashed for all he knew.

‘They didnt want to go in my car >:( ’

‘Finally on our way ’

‘Marys CDs are awful ’

‘I got kicked into the backseat ’

‘KITTY TOOK MY PLACE?! ’

‘Robin fell asleep on me this is why i dont like the backseat ’

‘APPARENTLY ROBIN HAS A SQUISH ON ME??????? ’

‘He still hasnt woken up for me to ask him cap im having a crisis ’

‘Humphrey just spilt like an entire bottle of water on himself  ’

‘Nvm mary threatened to push me off a cliff if i told robin that she told me forget i said anything robin doesnt like people knowing stuff like that i believe her threat ’

‘Kittys singing this is why i wanted to go in my car the wind is so loud in the convertible ’

‘Why did i agree to come in this car??????? ’

‘Going by the italian place ’

That was the last of Julian’s text, the last on coming in about 5 minutes ago.

Well… that’s exactly what Julian deserved.

‘Don’t bother Robin about that, let it be, it’ll work itself out.’ Cap text back. ‘And we’ll keep a look out for you, what car are you in ?’

‘I told you to forget that i am just letting it be mary said robin doesnt like bringing that up and i dont need to discuss ’ then ‘ were in marys brothers car which mary can drive it took her a while to get permission to use it today. They really didnt want to go in mine >>>:((( ’

‘Why didn’t you just put the roof up? ’

It took Julian a while to answer, but then ‘Roofs broken ’

Cap bit back a laugh and pocketed his phone. He turned back to Adam who was grinning at him.

“Will the others be joining us?” He asked.

“They should be here soon.”

“And here I was hoping I could you to myself a little bit longer.” Adam said.

Cap felt himself blush and was spared anything further by Pat’s voice.

“Hi Cap, we’re here.”

The pair turned to see Pat, Thomas, Fanny, Alison and Mike walking over to them.

“Took me forever to find a parking space.” Pat said. “Where are the others, Julian not here yet?”

“They’re not coming in Julian’s car, Mary’s brother’s apparently.”

“Did they all get sick of his broken roof?” Mike asked.

“It’s broken? How do you know?” Alison asked.

“He was driving around with it down when it was like -10 degrees, I kinda guessed.” Mike said.

“Yes, it is broken.” Cap said. “They should be here soon though.”

“So how was your ride down, Cap?” Alison asked and- oh- she’s been taking smugness tips from Julian hasn’t she.

“It was perfectly satisfactory-” Cap tried to say but Adam interrupted him.

“It was a blast, I had a lot of fun.” Adam said smiling.

“Oh, that’s- I’m glad.” Cap said. “I’m glad you had fun.”

“Do we have to wait until the others arrive before we can go off?” Fanny asked, crossing her arms.

“Unfortunately.” Thomas sighed.

It was at that moment there was loud beeping from the road. The group turned to see a large, mud-splattered pick-up truck slowly passing them. The window was rolled down and Mary was sat by it, sunglasses adorning her face.

“Hi!” Kitty shouted from the passenger seat.

“We’ll wait for you here, parking is a nightmare.” Pat shouted back. Mary nodded and the pick-up started to drive off again.

The group milled around for another 10 minutes before the rest of the group came swanning over to them.

“We be parked.” Mary announced.

“We had such a fun time coming down.” Kitty said, beaming.

“Speak for yourself.” Humphrey muttered, his clothes still looking slightly damp.

“You can definitely say that again.” Julian said. He rolled his shoulders and stretched his arms. “That was an awful drive, I said we should have gone in my car.”

“Your car loud.” Robin mumbled, looking half-asleep.

“You ride a motorcycle, isn’t that loud all the time?”

Robin shrugged. “Wear good helmet.”

“It be loud.” Mary said, nodding. “It be very loud.” The she said. “If you put your roofs up, Julian,  we could of gone in yours.”

“He can’t, the roof is broken.” Cap said.

“Ha, that’s what I guessed.” Humphrey said.

“Same!” Mike said. The pair tried to high-five but Humphrey missed and Mike had to grab him before Humphrey fell over.

“Okay, and at that, let’s get a move on.” Cap said.

“Yeah,” Pat chirped up. “First thing we’ve got planned is the arcades. So let’s go guys, lets see who can win some prizes.”

Surprisingly it was Thomas who was really good at the 2-penny arcades. He had only changed 50p and now Cap was pretty sure he had at least £3.00 in winnings.

“Cor, Thomas, you didn’t tell us you were good at this.” Pat said, fiddling with his glasses.

“Please someone take some, I want to stop.” Thomas groaned as more coins came crashing down.

Almost immediately several of the others scooped up coins.

“Thanks Thomas.” They all said in union and hurried off to other machines.

Adam nudged Cap and motioned for him to follow. They left Thomas and as they passed Julian he made a gesture with his hands which caused Cap to glare at him. Hard.

It served Julian right when Robin excitedly hit him in the stomach as he won some coins.

Adam led him to a claw machine at the other side of the arcade. “What do you want me to win for you?”

“You don’t have to-”

“No, I want to, if you won’t let me pay for petrol, let me win you something.”

Cap sighed and nodded. “You pick for me.”

Adam grinned and looked into the box. “I think I’ll try and go for Simba.”

Adam inserted a coin and slowly moved the claw.

“A little more, a little more…” Adam muttered.

Then he slammed his hand down on the button. The claw dropped down and grabbed hold of the Simba.

“Come on, come on, come on.” Adam muttered under his breath.

The claw grabbed Simba and actually lifted it up. It moved across the box and dropped it into the chute.

“Alright!” Adam cheered. He picked Simba up and handed it to Cap. “Here you go.”

Cap blushed and took the doll. “Thank you.”

“Come on, let’s get back to the others.” Adam said.

The others had gone through their coins and were now watching Kitty and Alison duke it out on air hockey. Alison was winning.

Thomas appeared by Cap’s side, having finally ran out of coins, holding a squishy pineapple keyring.

“I’m done.” Thomas said.

“We will be too in a minute.” Cap said as Alison scored again. “Pat, what’s next on our itinerary?”

“The beach!” Pat beamed.

As soon as the reached the beach the group immediately dispersed.

Half of them immediately bolted to the sea, Pat settled on the sand, Fanny sitting next to him.

“Cap, Cap, come watch me.” Kitty shouted as she waded into sea.

“Yes, Katherine, I’m watching.” Cap said, though he doubted he was loud enough for Kitty to hear.

She jumped around in the sea, splashing both Mary and Robin.

Alison and Mike were skipping stones whilst Thomas crouched on the sand looking out to sea.

Adam sat down on the sand and smiled up at Cap. Cap grinned back and sat down too.

The heat of the sun beat down on Cap and he rested back on his elbows, closing his eyes and basked in the sun.

When he opened them again he noticed Adam staring at him. He looked soft.

Cap blushed.

“Cap, Cap, you’re not watching!” Came Kitty’s voice.

“Yes, Catherine, I’m watching.”

“But you’re not looking!!”

Cap scowled and Adam laughed.

They left the beach after a few hours, Pat now in possession of a sunburnt nose.

Kitty, Mary and Robin were all soaking from the sea, shivering as they walked down the promenade.

“I am not looking forward to the ride back.” Julian muttered as the three kept trying to latch onto the others for their heat.

They managed to fit into a cafe and eat before deciding to call it a day.

Everyone seemed to be enjoying Adam’s company, chatting and joking with him throughout the meal. Cap was glad they liked him, this was the first time they had been around him for longer than an hour. Cap really hoped Adam started to come to more of their meetings. Despite the fact that Cap had still hung around the theatre hoping to see Adam, it was really only through Julian they had actually met.

This was really for the best as both Mike and Robin were starting to look dead on their feet through fatigue. Both of them had apparently been working throughout the night (Cap figured why Robin was but for the life of him he couldn’t figure out why Mike was working all night).

The group dispersed to their cars. Julian punched Cap in the arm.

“I’ll text you when we set off, don’t worry.” He said. “Hey, Alison, text Cap when you set off.”

“Okay, will do.” Alison called back, holding onto Mike’s hand as they walked down the street.

They all disappeared leaving Cap alone again with Adam.

“Come on then,” Adam said. “Time to head off. Are you sure you don’t want money for petrol?”

“No, really, I don’t want any.” Cap insisted.

Adam hummed and they as they reached the car Cap’s phone dinged.

‘We’ve set off :) ’ That was from Alison.

There was then another ding.

‘Weve gone ’ And that one was from Julian.

Cap sighed and put his phone away.

“Good news?” Adam asked.

Cap nodded and started the car.

Adam directed Cap directly to his house, “I can trust you.” Adam had said.

“Well, thanks, I had a ton of fun today.” Adam said. “I hope I get to come to more of your meetings, the others are nice, I’d like to get to know them more.” He paused. “And you too.”

Cap blushed, he had been doing that a lot today. “Well, I hope you manage to get out of work to come, I think that somebody else along with Patrick needs to help me keep that group in check.”

Adam laughed and reached into his pocket.

“Here.” He said, pulling out a folded piece of paper. “Have this just in case my work gets in the way of me coming.”

“Thank you.” Cap said, taking the paper, frowning slightly.

“Alright, well, I’ll see you later.” Adam said brightly. He got out of the car and waved back at Cap.

“Yes, I’ll see you later.” Cap murmured.

Once Adam had closed the door and gone Cap unfolded the piece of paper. Something dropped out of it but Cap ignored that in favour of reading what was on the note.

Just in case I can’t make your meetings, here’s my number - Adam, followed by a phone number.

Cap flushed bright red and closed his eyes. He took several deep breaths and opened them once he felt himself calm down.

He stowed the paper away and looked down to see what had dropped out. It was a £10 note.

Oh, after all that, Adam had given him petrol money after all.

Cap pocketed the note and started to drive off. Cap had Adam’s number and regrettably he had Julian to thank for that. Perhaps he should knock one of his Julian-Count for this.

Chapter Text

They were going to do this even if it killed him. There was a reason he had called the event ‘Forced Exercise’.

Cap banged repeatedly on Julian’s door but there was no answer. Come on, Julian, it’s only 05:00, it’s a reasonable time to be awake.

He banged again.

Nope, still no answer. Well, desperate times and all that.

Cap took a set of keys out of his pocket and selected one.

Then he opened Julian’s door with it.

“Julian.” He called throughout the house. “Time to get up.” He marched through the house and up the stairs to Julian’s bedroom.

“Come on Julian, we have to pick everyone else up and the latest we can register is 8.” Cap said, bursting through the door (the latest they could register was 8:45 but Cap wasn’t about to tell Julian that.

Julian, who only had the top of his head visible groaned.

“Cap…?” He moaned, half raising his head. “Wha-?”

“Yes, it’s the run today, you remember right.”

“I can’t… sick…”

“Now really, Julian. You’re not sick.” Cap grabbed the duvet and pulled it back.

Julian yelped and curled into a ball.

“Come on, get dressed.” This was a first concern, as Julian was very naked.

Cap turned to Julian’s wardrobe and went through it, searching for sports clothes.

“Here,” Cap said, pulling out some sports clothes and turned to give them to Julian who now thankfully was wearing his underclothes. “Put these on.”

Julian grumbled and took the clothes. Cap folded his arms and stared at him.

“What, you want to watch?” Julian asked, a slight smirk on his face.

“I’m making sure you aren’t going to fall back asleep.” Cap said.

Julian’s face dropped and he continued to grumble as he put the clothes on.

Once Julian was finally ready Cap practically dragged Julian out the house.

“Hi Julian.” Pat chirped from his position at the driver's seat.

Julian grunted as he sat down in the back of the camper.

Thankfully Pat had already been awake when Cap arrived at his at quarter to 5.

“I set three alarms just in case.” Pat had said.

And now Pat had his camper, transporting them all was a breeze. It was just getting them all in it which was the problem.

“Next up is Humphrey, Patrick.” Cap said.

“Right.” And the camper pulled off.

“... how did you even get in?” Julian asked Cap.

“You gave me a key about a year ago to water your plants when you went on holiday and never asked for it back.” Cap said.

“Okay, give me it back now.”

“You’re just going to give it back to me when you next go on holiday.”

“No I won’t.”

“Yes you will.” But Cap handed it back nonetheless.

They managed to pick Humphrey and Fanny up with no issues, but Kitty was a problem.

Cap rang her doorbell several times but with no answer. It was only when he rang her did he get an answer.

“Hello…?” Kitty muttered down the phone. There was the sound of an alarm going off in the background. “Cap… I… oh the run! Give me a minute!” And she hung up.

Cap shrugged back at the camper but within a couple of minutes Kitty was at the door, looking half-asleep but at least she was dressed in sports gear.

“I can just wake up on the way.” She said in a tone of voice which was trying to be bright and failing miserably.

“That’s the spirit.” Cap said blankly. They got into the camper and set off for their next one.

Or ones, as this was Mike and Alison.

Alison opened the door as soon as Cap knocked, already dressed in her gear.

“Ah, excellent, Alison, you’re ready.” Cap said. He coughed. “What about Michael?”

“Me?” Came Mike’s voice from inside the house. “Oh yeah, I’m ready, you’d better believe it.” He appeared by the door, dressed, but looking incredibly not ready. “Love running me.”

“Mike, you never run.” Alison said.

“What? No, yes, I do. I do- I run all, all the time.” Mike stammered back.

“Well we’ll see about that.” Cap said, pointing to the camper. “Get into the camper you too. We have to pick Thomas up next.”

At that Alison groaned and muttered to herself as Cap led them to the camper.

Thomas was, surprisingly, awake when Cap went to collect him. 

He wasn’t dressed for a run though.

“So what time did you get up can I ask?” Cap asked after Thomas had waved him in as he went to get dressed and Cap hung around the corridor outside his bedroom. Cap was pretty certain he could see the glow of a TV coming from the room.

“Oh, I, er, didn’t actually go to sleep.” Thomas said from his bedroom.

“Not at all?”

“No…” Thomas opened the door to show his sportswear.

Cap scowled. “You won’t even make it a kilometre.”

“No, I’ll be able to do the whole thing easily.” Thomas cried.

“Extremely unlikely but we’ll see.” Cap said. “Get in the camper.”

Thomas was exhausted by the time he had clambered into the camper.

“Why didn’t you go to sleep, you knew this was coming.” Cap snapped as Thomas started to complain.

“I couldn’t sleep.” Thomas moaned. He tried to lean against Alison and closed his eyes, but Alison slid away from him and took the seat next to Pat. Cap’s seat. Thomas fell against the seat and scrambled upright as Cap shoved him out the way to take it. Thomas muttered something under his breath and folded his arms, staring directly forward out a window.

The next person they had to pick up was Mary. She would have to take Alison’s seat for now but once she’s finished serving her usefulness in the passenger seat, she could have Cap’s next to Thomas and Alison would have to find somewhere else to sit.

Cap wanted his seat back.

He had called shotgun almost a week ago.

When they rolled up to Mary’s she was standing by the entrance to the farm, dressed in her sports gear, bottle of water in hand. This was very helpful because the last time Cap went into Mary’s farm, he had been attacked by several chickens who had managed to cause damage even through his jeans, and this time he was wearing shorts.

“Is swapped my jobs with my brother,” Mary said as she clambered into the camper. “Fed the chickens, he’s dealing with the cows.”

“Excellent.” Cap said, the chickens may have been distracted if he needed to go in anyway. “Alison, switch with Mary we need her upfront.”

As Alison and Mary clambered around the seats Julian piped up.

“I could give you directions too.”

“No thank you, Julian, I would rather not trust your fleeting thoughts of directions.” Cap said. He nodded at Pat and Mary quietly began to direct him.

It was all going swimmingly until Julian decided to stick his beak in.

“No, it’s straight on.”

“It be right.” Mary said.

“No, I go straight on.”

“It’s quicker going right.”

“Have you even drove up here yourself?”

“Yes, last night.”

“So which way am I going?” Pat asked, exasperated.

“Right!”

“Straight!”

They shouted in unison. Kitty, who had previously been asleep, woke up with a sudden yelp.

“Cap, you’re the boss, make the final decision.” Alison said.

Cap nodded. “Follow Mary.” He rumbled.

“Cap!” Julian was whining.

“Follow Mary, Pat.” Cap said again.

Pat did, turning right when Mary said. They continued to drive up a narrow and winding road uphill for the next 10 minutes before Pat suddenly exclaimed, “oh, observatory next left.”

“Sees, I be right.” Mary said smugly, Julian grumbling behind her.

Pat continued until he pulled up beside the observatory.

Mary and Julian scrambled out the camper, starting to argue as they did so. Cap sighed and followed after them.

“I still say my way is quicker.” Julian said.

“It’s not, mine be a shortcut.” Mary retorted.

“But it was more severely uphill, so if you actually wanted to save petrol you’d have to slow down. My way is more gradual, you can go faster.”

“Not when there’s traffic. There be no traffic my way.”

Cap sighed again, louder this time as he shoved his way in front of them and walked inside.

“Hey, hey, hey,” came a voice from further in the building. “We’re not open for another… 2 hours.” The voice belonged to a tired looking man rushing forwards, ready to shove them out.

“We’re here for Robin.” Mary said.

The man stopped and blinked. “Oh, you’re… Mary is it? Robin’s friend?” He relaxed. “We’re just waiting for our replacements before we can leave.” He waved them though. “Go right ahead.”

Mary and Julian continued forward, Cap trailing after them.

They found Robin leaning back on a chair, feet on the table, staring at the screen with a large scatter graph on it.

“Found any hot alien ladies for me?” Julian asked.

Robin shook his head and sat up straight. He stretched and yawned.

“Time for run?” He asked.

“That’s the plan, Robin.” Cap said.

Robin nodded and span around in his chair. He then turned back to the screen and started to save his work.

“Found anything at all?” Mary asked as she started at the graph.

Again, Robin shook his head.

“Sucks.” Mary muttered.

“Robin! They’re here now.” Robin’s colleague shouted into the room.

“Great. Go get dressed.” And with that Robin turned his programme off and shot out the room. He returned, now clad in sports gear, just as a few other people entered the room.

“Come on, let’s go.” Robin mutterd. He swung his bag over his shoulder and grabbed Julian’s arm, pulling him from the couch he had laid down on.

Cap motioned for Mary to go first and he nodded curtly at the new staff members.

They left the observatory and went to the camper. Julian looked around in confusion.

“Where’s your bike?” He eventually asked.

“Home.” Robin waved to Mary. “Mary drove me last night.”

“Mary? Why didn’t you ask me?” Julian cried.

“You go long way.” Robin said before disappearing into the camper.

“Ha, see, I tolds you.” Mary laughed.

“Yes, alright, you’ve gone on about it for long enough.” Julian huffed. He stomped into the camper and Mary followed.

“Okay, Patrick!” Cap all but shouted as he too got into the camper (passenger seat up front thank you). “Get us to the run now, please.”

They made it to the run by 7:20 and by the time they had all gotten registered it was nearly 8AM.

“Now it’s time for some stretches.” Cap said, to which everyone groaned in displeasure.

“I didn’t think we’d actually, you know, go for a run.” Cap was pretty sure he heard Mike say.

“Patrick, if you’d like to take over the warm-up.” Cap said, to which Pat beamed and bounded forward to do.

Fortunately with Pat’s upbeat attitude the rest of the group were a lot less reluctant to carry out the warm-up.

Which was very good because Cap was legitimately worried some of them, without this extensive warm-up, would probably end up in A&E. He was looking at Mike and Thomas in particular.

Eventually they made it through and 9AM drew closer.

“Get over to the start line, everyone.” Cap ordered, clapping his hands and ushering everyone along. They all started to grumble again as they approached the starting line.

“And remember, everyone,” Kitty chirped, looking a lot more awake now. “As you long as you do your best and have fun that’s all that matters.”

“Yes, thank you, Kitty, but I’m afraid not finishing isn’t the best.” Cap muttered.

“Ignore Cap, everyone,” Alison said loudly. “He’s just a little bit OTT right now.”

“I’m not over the top about this, it’s only 5k, you should all be able to finish this.” Cap said louder.

There was a sudden bang as the pistol and the people in front of them set off, the group following behind.

Now, Cap was expecting Thomas to flake out during this run. But he didn’t expect it to happen in less than a minute after they set off.

“No, I can’t do it,” Thomas gasped. He stopped and doubled over, panting for breath.

“Good lord, Thomas, we’ve only been going for 50 seconds.” Cap said, grinding to a halt.

“No, I just- I can’t- I-” Thomas staggered over to the side and collapsed on the grass. He waved his hand weakly. “I can’t face going any further.”

Cap sighed and shrugged. “See, I told you you wouldn’t be able to make it.”

“I tried, I tried.” Thomas panted.

“You didn’t try at all.”

“I tried as much as anyone else.”

Cap groaned and shook his head. “Fine, stay there, we’ll collect you once we’ve finished.” And with that he turned and carried on jogging.

Everyone else was doing well, Fanny was a little slow but Kitty was keeping pace with her, chatting enthusiastically though Cap couldn’t tell you what about.

“Oh, yeah, I feel great, I could keep doing this for ages.” Cap did hear Mike say as he passed him and Alison.

“Mmm, I bet you can.” Alison responded.

He passed the rest of them and got in line with Pat and Mary.

“Thomas has quit.” He told them.

“Already?” They both exclaimed.

There was a sudden commotion behind them and Cap looked back to see Humphrey hanging onto Robin. It looks like he had tripped.

Cap shook his head and decided to ignore them. He continued with his run, half listening to the conversation Pat and Mary were having. It was about 10 minutes later did Alison appear by their side.

“I don’t know where Mike’s gone, I think he’s dragging his feet at the back.” She said.

It was a couple of minutes later when Robin popped up.

“Told Julian not to.” He grunted. 

“Not to what?” Cap asked.

“Told me not to say.” Robin said.

Cap hummed but didn’t question it any further.

Another 10 minutes or so later the five of them crossed the finish line.

“Oh, I haven’t run that much in ages.” Alison gasped, clutching her side.

“Nice of you to turn up.”

Cap’s head snapped around as he heard Julian’s voice. Julian (who the voice did indeed belong to) was lounging on a deckchair.

“How did you…” Cap started but then quickly looked between Julian and Robin. “‘Told Julian not to’. Julian you took a shortcut?”

“What? No!” Julian exclaimed.

“Did.” Robin said.

“Didn’t!”

“Did, over the bridge.”

“Julian!” Cap shouted. “This was just supposed to be a fun thing. Don’t go ruining it.”

“Me, what about Thomas and Mike?” Julian said. “Neither of them even finished. They’re both sat on the bank over there.”

“Oh, Mike didn’t finish now did he?” Alison straightened up and stalked off in the direction Julian pointed. Cap might even feel bad for Mike, he was going to get remorselessly mocked after all.

‘Might’ being the point as currently Cap was fuming with Julian. Forget knocking anything off the Julian-Count, it just went up to 290.

“I cannot believe you cheated Julian.” Cap shouted.

“I didn’t cheat!” Julian tried again but when Robin glared at him he sighed. “Look, I was just trying to knock off some time-”

“It wasn’t a competition, Julian.” Cap crossed his hands and scowled.

“That’s what you say when you lose.” Julian said.

“I can’t lose to you, you cheated.” Cap turned away from Julian and stared at the groups coming across the finish line.

It was about 10 minutes late that Kitty and Fanny crossed the finish line. Kitty was still chatting happily.

“Oh, that was a lot of fun.” Kitty said happily.

Fanny hummed and wandered away as fast as she could do.

“Right, I think that’s everyone.” Pat said.

“Indeed.” Cap muttered.

“Oh, great, we’ll be returned home then?” Thomas said, appearing by their side. “I can go to sleep then.”

“You didn’t even do anything, Thomas.” Cap said.

“And yet I am still tired.”

“Right.” Pat clapped his hands. “Come on everything, you all did a great job.”

“Except for Julian.”

“So I’ll take you all home.” Pat finished.

Everyone cheered and slowly began to wander back to the camper.

The all filed in, with Thomas collapsing dramatically on a seat. Like he even did anything.

Julian tried to say something to Cap, but, still annoyed, Cap ignored him, turing the radio up louder to try and drown Julian out.

Pat started to drive and it was about 5 minutes later did Alison pipe up.

“Hey, aren’t we missing someone?” She said. “There’s only 10 of us.”

“What?” Cap turned around, staring at Alison.

“There was 11 of us, but there’s only 10 now.” Alison repeated.

“Only 10…?” Cap looked between all the group. Then. “Oh my God, we forgot Humphrey! Patrick, we need to turn around.”

“On it!” Pat span the camper around and headed back to the park.

As soon as Pat parked up, Cap shot out of the camper and headed back to the run site, Alison following after. There was still some people left finishing and others milling around. Humphrey wasn’t any of these people.

“Where on Earth is he?” Cap rumbled, scanning everyone who finished.

“I really doubt he would have taken longer than Fanny to finish.” Alison said.

“I know, that’s what I’m worried about, what if he’s fallen in the lake.”

They hung around for another 5 minutes when Cap’s phone suddenly started ringing. He fished it out of his jacket pocket and answered it.

“Hello?”

“ Hi, Cap, it’s me, Humphrey. ”

“Oh my God- Humphrey, where are you?”

“ I think I’m by a petting zoo? ”

“A petting- that’s the complete other end of the park, how did you get there?”

“ I’m not sure really. ”

Cap sighed. “Okay, everyone else has finished, just stay there and we’ll come collect you.”

“ Great, I’m by the wallabies, but please hurry, there’s an angry peacock near me. ” And at that, Cap was sure he could hear the sounds of a peacock hissing.

“We’re on our way don’t worry.” And then Cap hung up. “He took a wrong turn, got lost and is now by the wallabies.”

“Okay,” Alison said. “Let’s go.”

As the two set off Cap started to mull over what other forced activities he could get the group to do. Preferably ones which didn’t have the need for directions.

Badminton was also a choice. Or how about a game of football?

Mmm… It might just be safer to buy everyone a gym pass instead.

Chapter Text

Cap was stood; in the pouring rain; in the middle of the street, desperately trying to stop the pair from tearing each other to shreds.

The two were screaming and Cap was in between them, trying to push them away.  Mike was also attempting to pull George one way whilst Kitty was trying to push Fanny the other.

Cars blared at them as the group attempted to at least get the pair off the middle of the road. Really, the cars had a point, it was pitch black, torrential rain and they had stopped in the middle of the road.

The group managed to drag them to the pavement and the cars went roaring past.

“I don’t get why you even went out with me. Why, just tell me why!” Fanny shouted, trying to push past Kitty.

“Because it was easy, alright, I mean, what else was I meant to do?” George shouted back.

“Oh, I don’t know, call it off six months ago, before, you know I was taking it seriously, and not wait until this morning when I found out myself. Perhaps break it off before you decided to start cheating on me.” Fanny cried.

“Wait.” Cap straightened up to block both their line of sight. “What do you mean ‘this morning’? What do you mean ‘cheating’?”

“I only found out he was gay this morning.” Fanny said. “And not only that, but he’s also dating someone else.”

“You… only found out this morning?” Cap repeatedly slowly. “You didn’t know?”

“Of course not.” Fanny snapped. “I wouldn’t still be dating him otherwise.”

“Dating…” Cap blinked. “Have you… stopped dating?”

“As of now, yes.” Fanny hissed.

“Now…” Cap slowly turned around and Julian’s grip on George tightened. “You were dating someone until just now?”

“Well, yeah, but that doesn’t really matter to much-” George tried to say. Cap tensed up and gritted his teeth. Mike cottoned on quickly and moved as far back as he could without letting go of George.

Mike’s instinct was right, as Cap lunged forward sharply, striking George as hard as he could in.

Mike quickly let go of George as he went tumbling to the ground. Cap breathed heavily, rubbing his knuckles. 

He hadn’t even punched anyone in half a year.

He hoped he still hit as hard.

This whole thing started two months ago when Cap’s phone when ‘ding’.

‘Hi, my name’s George, I was wondering if I would be able to come to your meetings? I’m gay and am just looking for a good slice of the community to join. Let me know when you can. Thanks! ’

Cap lent back in his chair and responded.

‘Hello George,

My name is The Captain. Yes, that would be absolutely fine, great even. We have plenty of events going on. Our next upcoming one is a quiz night next Wednesday at Head of Steam at 7pm. Hope to see you there.

Thank you,

The Captain.’

‘That’s great, Captain, I’ll see you then! ’ George replied.

That Wednesday as Cap was sat chatting with Pat, somebody; who Cap could only assume was George, entered the pub.

“Hi, is this the LGBT group?” The man asked.

“Yes, it is.” Pat said, beaming. “Hi, I’m Pat.” He stood up and held his hand out.

“I’m George.” He said, shaking Pat’s hand. His eyes then slid from Pat to Cap. “You must be the Captain.”

“Yes, that’s me.” Cap also stood up and shook George’s hand. George’s eyes lit up and he grinned as his eyes went over Cap. Cap blushed and only stopped when Julian barged through them with drinks in his hands.

“Right, it’s quiz time, everyone, win me that £67.”

“Julian, you’re rich, why do you need the £67?” Kitty asked.

“It’s because he’s rich, Kitty.” Alison said. “That’s the reason he wants the money.”

Julian’s spluttering was drowned out by the host starting the quiz.

George took a seat next to Cap and grinned at him again. “I’m counting of you being good at quizzes.”

“We all rely on each other here.” Cap said.

 “I’m sure, but clearly you’re the boss here.” George said softly.

Cap blushed again and their quiz began.

Not that Cap was much use during this. George, it turned out, was very distracting.

He kept making Cap laugh and distracting him for the actual questions. Julian even had to kick Cap at one point to pay attention when a question on tanks came on.

When the quiz ended they didn’t do as well as they usually did, coming 12th out of 15th.

“Cap, this is your fault I didn’t get that £67.” Julian moaned.

“Oh, be quiet, Julian, go back to your fortunes.” Cap snapped.

Julian grumbled and the group dispersed for the night.

Cap waved them out the pub instead of going out with them.

George stayed.

“Hey, Cap… Captain.” George said slowly.  “I was just wondering if you’d like to go out with me some time.”

“Huh?” Cap blinked. “Go out?”

“Yeah, like, on a date?”

“I…” Cap trailed off. He thought about it for a couple of seconds before nodding. “Okay, that sounds great.” Really he wasn’t going to get anywhere with Adam was he.

“Cool, would you be free tomorrow evening?”

Cap nodded again. “Yes, I am. I’d love to do something.”

And that date went well.

So much that they had another one. Then another, then another.

Pretty soon the group knew they were dating.

Everything was going smoothly for the next couple of months, Cap was even enjoying himself.

That was until we came to that night. The group was hanging out, making their plans for Pride that coming month, when a woman came bursting into the pub and marched over to them.

“Oh, shit.” George muttered and tried to slide as far down in his seat as possible.

“Hi, can I help?” Pat asked, going up to her.

“My name’s Fanny, I’m looking for him.” The woman said, pointing straight at George.

“Oh, okay.” Pat turned back to look at George half-hidden by the table then back to Fanny. “Is there any particular reason why?”

“Yes,” Fanny said. “He’s my boyfriend.”

George was on the floor, groaning in pain.

Cap took a step back and noticed Julian stood at the side, phone in his hand. Had he been recording the entire thing?

Cap grabbed Julian’s phone and locked it.

“You’re going to delete that.” Cap said, shoving the phone back into Julian’s hands.

Fanny pulled herself from Kitty’s arms and stalked off down the street.

Cap glanced back at George. “And now he’s not dating anyone.” He muttered and took off after Fanny.

He caught up with her fairly quickly.

“Hey,” Cap said. “Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t know he was dating anyone else.”

Fanny grunted. “So it is you? He lies like that.” She folded her arms and breathed heavily. “I just don’t get why he didn’t tell me and end it?”

“Who knows, I believe it’s just best to remove him from our lives.” Cap said.

“Yes,” Fanny said. “I guess we need- need to- we need to-” But it was then that she burst into tears.

“Oh, uh-” Cap didn’t know what to do here.

“I just- I don’t- he knew how I felt- he knew how much I was in l-” She stopped talking as she continued to sob. Fanny collapsed against the side of the building and slid down to the floor.

Cap went from one foot to the other before deciding to sit down next to her. The two sat for a while, neither of them spoke and Fanny’s crying slowly stopped.

Eventually Fanny spoke.

“How did he find you?” She asked.

“I host an LGTBQ group,” Cap explained. “He came to me to join.”

“I should have known something was up, he’s been distant and kept cancelling all of our dates. I didn’t even think he would be cheating on me, God, I’m so stupid.” Fanny cried.

“No, you’re not.” Cap said. “I didn’t notice either.” He sighed. “I’m not letting him back into my group.”

Once again, they fell into silence. They stayed like that for a few more minutes before Fanny spoke again.

“If he’s not coming back, would I be able to join? I’m bi, more men-leaning though but-”

“Of course you can.” Cap said instantly. “We’re always looking for more people to join. We’d love to have you.”

“Thank you, that would be great.”

Anyway, why was Cap bringing this up?

Well, a year and a half later, in his wisdom he organised a paint-balling game.

And look who was also there, on an opposite team no less. It was George.

But before we get to all that.

Pat was shaking a hat with folded slips in it.

“So what we’re going to do it pick names out of the hat and how we’ll go is one name is to one team, the second to the other, the third to the first team, the fourth to the second team and on and on.” Pat explained. He shuffled the hat and offered it to Cap.

Cap drew a name out.

“Alison.” He announced.

He then plunged his hand into the hat and pulled out another name. “Humphrey.”

Then again. “Oh, me.”

Then again. “Fanny.”

Then again. “Thomas.”

Alison groaned as Thomas’ eyes light up.

This continued on until Cap pulled out the last slip. He knew exactly who would be on that and exactly who’s team they would be on.

“Julian, you’re on my team.” Cap sighed. Julian crossed his arms and grumbled in annoyance.

The group split into their teams and Cap and Julian started to bicker.

“I should be in charge for this.” Julian said, nonchalantly examining his protective gear.

Cap froze and span around to stare at him.

“You should…? Julian! Out of the two of us, who actually has military experience?”

Julian hmpfed and picked up his gun. “Well, I-”

“You’re holding it wrong.” Cap pointed out.

“Yes, I know, I was just picking it up.” Julian scowled and surprisingly held it correctly. “I’ll have you know I’ve done clay pigeon shooting.”

Cap blinked. “Julian! I’ve been in an active combat zone.”

“Ah details, details.”

Clock another one up in the Julian-Count because it just went up to 291.

Eventually, after a bit more arguing, the tired-looking staff herded them all out into the open.

“So, as I was saying,” Cap said. “We should all pack together but keep a distance to-” He half turned and that was when he realised they had already gone.

Cap shook his head and took off as well.

He had been hunting through the forest for a good 5 minutes and he had already hit Kitty 3 times. He had also just managed to clock Pat before Pat had chance to dodge. He saw Robin refuse to shoot Julian leaving him open for Cap to shoot him. Coward , Cap thought. That’s what you get for having a squish .

He also saw Humphrey accidentally walk into another groups firefight. Unlucky for him, none of them stopped.

At one point he even teamed up with Alison to corner Mike. Mike claimed this was unfair. Cap claimed this is what teams were meant to do.

Mary had taken up a defensive position and was doing a good job sniping anyone who came into her vision. And Cap meant anyone. She and Pat were on the same team and Cap witnessed her snipe Pat as soon as he stepped into the clearing.

It was as he dived back into the trees to try and get away from her he barrelled directly into Thomas.

Thomas had pinned himself to a tree and was breathing very very hard.

“Thomas, are you alright?” Cap asked.

Thomas shook his head. “I shouldn’t have come here, I shouldn’t have come here.” He gasped out. He seemed to have a hand pressed into his waist. His skin was incredibly pale. He was shivering.

Cap knelt down next to him.

“Thomas, Thomas, now look at me.” Cap said. Thomas snapped his head to look at Cap. His eyes were wide. He looked terrified. “You’re okay. You’re alright.” Cap murmured softly.

There was a snap of a twig and Cap glanced around to see a paint-covered Pat stood there.

Cap shrugged his shoulders in an alarmed manner and Pat crouched down too.

“Hey there, Thomas.” Pat said softly. “Are you okay?”

Again Thomas shook his head.

“Do you want to go?” Pat asked.

Thomas nodded.

“Okay, no worries, we can go return our stuff and go in the cafe whilst the rest of them finish up.” Pat said. “How does that sound?”

Thomas nodded again and Pat stood up.

“I’ll look after him, Cap.” Pat said. He offered Thomas his hand and helped him up. Thomas immediately clung to Pat as Pat helped him back to the path. “See you in a bit, Cap.”

“Take care, you two.”

Once they were gone Cap turned and headed back into the forest. He wondered what was up with Thomas, he had never really spoken about anything which could have caused that. Perhaps it’s best not to pry, or at least, maybe Pat could get it out of him.

There was a shot which splattered right above Cap’s head, reminding him that he was in fact, still playing. He didn’t know where that had come from but Cap immediately took off.

As Cap was sneaking through the forest he saw Fanny storming through the trees. Cap paused and hid in a bush as he watched her. There was movement in the corner of Cap’s eye and he glanced around. George’s head was peeking out behind a tree. He ducked back as Fanny shoot at him. Fanny started to move quicker and George tried to scramble away. This did not work as Fanny shot again, this time catching George several times. And then she kept shooting. Cap could hear George shouting in pain as he tried to get further away. Regardless, Fanny kept shooting.

Cap grinned as he watched as George disappeared back into the trees, Fanny following him, screaming as she was shooting.

It was then that Cap felt an impact on his shoulder.

He span around to see Julian stood behind him, pointing his gun at Cap.

“You should be paying more attention, Cap.” Julian smirked.

“We’re on the same team, Julian, this doesn’t count for anything.” Cap sighed.

“It proves a point, though.” Julian said. “Pay attention.”

“Well then.” Cap stood up and settled his gun more comfortably in his hands. “Perhaps I should prove a point to you, how important it is to dodge.”

“Hah, dodge?” Julian took a step back.

“Yes,” Cap said, aiming the gun. “The better you dodge, the less you’ll get hit in the head.”

Julian yelped and darted into the trees as Cap chased after him.

Chapter Text

This was an absolute disaster.

That was the only way Cap could describe it.

For starters, everyone wanted to do different things.

Kitty had already been on the merry-go-round 3 times.

“Oh, please, can we go on it again.” Kitty pleaded.

“No, Katherine, we’ve been on it enough, it’s time to do something else now.” Cap said. He was exhausted already.

A little further ahead of him, Mary and Julian were nattering about which big and fast rides to go on. Cap didn’t know how it happened but Mike was also in that conversation, thought he didn’t look as pleased about it as the other two did.

“So if wes goes on the tall swings, wes can goes on the bungee ride straights after.” Mary said.

“An excellent decision,” Julian said. “Mike, how about the swings?”

“They’re not the kind of swings you like, Julian.” Alison interrupted.

“Ha. Ha. Ha.” Julian muttered. “Gee, I wonder what kind of swings this public funfair will have?”

“Mike, you be in?” Mary asked, ignoring the conversation around her.

“Oh, yeah, sure, totally. I’m in.” Mike gave a shake thumbs up, along with an even shakier smile.

“Mike, you don’t like scary rides.” Alison said.

“Me? What? No. Not me. No. No. I love them. Totally do. Love ‘em me.” Mike stammered out.

Cap rolled his eyes and hurried them all forward.

Julian and Mary continued to mutter to themselves, pointing at various rides. This continued until they ground to a halt in front of some waltzers.

“Come on,” Julian said. “Next spin is now. Anyone want to come on with Me, Mary and Mike?”

Everyone else shook their heads and Mike spluttered as Mary and Julian pushed him towards the ride.

The rest gathered at the base of the ride, watching them climb aboard. Mike was fidgeting as they were strapped in. Then he started to fidget even more.

Alison waved and Mike tried to say something, but over the booming music Cap couldn’t figure out what he said.

Then the ride started to move.

As the ride started to speed up, Cap caught a glimpse of Mike, screaming, whilst both Mary and Julian were laughing wildly.

The ride eventually ended and less than a minute later Mike came sprinting towards them. Then he stopped, turned and threw up.

“Oh, Mike, are you, are you alright?” Alison asked, hurrying over to him, desperately trying not to laugh.

Mike shook his head and Mary and Julian came wandering by, laughing.

“That was fun.” Julian said, clapping his hands together.

“Yeah, it was.” Mary said.

“Yeah, sure.” Mike muttered.

“I think we’ll head over to the street.” Alison said, putting her arm around Mike. “Come find us later if you can.” She led Mike away and Cap sighed.

“Right, so would it be best to stick together or split up?” He asked.

“No, I think we can stick together.” Pat said cheerfully.

“Speak for yourself.” Julian said. He nudged Mary and pointed at a large, spinning ride. “That next?”

Mary watched as it span upside-down then nodded.

“We’re going over there.” Julian announced. The two then disappeared into the crowd.

“Alright then,” Cap sighed. “Let’s carry on then.”

The group then continued on, now a lot smaller. They wandered around the fair for about 15 minutes until they reached the ride Julian and Mary were planning on going on.

The ride was stopped. Not in a position it should be stopped in.

“Er, I don’t think it’s supposed to look like that.” Thomas muttered as they all ground to a halt in front of the ride.

“No, I don’t think it should either.” Cap said. He stood on his tip-toes to look around the crowd. “I can’t see Julian anywhere.”

“Does that mean he’s up there?” Kitty asked.

They all looked up and they could in fact see who they assumed was Mary sat in a seat.

“Oh, yeah, they’re up there.” Cap said. He shook his head and went up one of the ride operators.

“Do you know how much longer it’s going to be stuck for?” He asked.

The operator shrugged. “We’ll get them down soon.” They said.

“Right, thanks.” Cap drifted back to the others and relayed the news. It wasn’t a lot of news.

“Oh, what are we supposed to do now, whilst they’re stuck up there?” Thomas cried.

“We can go find Alison!” Kitty said, clapping her hands together.

“Yes, I guess we might as well.” Cap said. “Let’s go see if Mike is any better.”

It was as they reached the street, Cap’s phone buzzed.

‘were stuck on the ride ’ It was from Julian.

‘How are you even texting? ’ Cap text back. ‘Shouldn’t you be strapped in? ’

‘I can still reach my phone cap ’.

‘Well don’t drop it. ’

‘Ill try not to i dont fancy having to use a £10 one from tesco ’

‘Let me know when you’re freed. ’ Cap text. He then slipped his phone back into his pocket as he noticed Alison and Mike walking towards them.

“Any better, Mike?” Pat asked.

“Yeah, loads.” Mike said. “Where’s Julian and Mary?”

“Stuck on a ride,” Kitty said cheerfully. “It broke down.”

Mike and Alison burst into laughter, Kitty laughing along with them.

When they eventually settled down Kitty suddenly gasped.

“Who wants to get some candy floss with me?” She asked.

“Me!” Robin said.

The two trundled off to the closest stall and proceeded to buy a big bag of candy floss.

“Oh good, they’re going to hype up on sugar.” Cap muttered.

Once they returned the group started down the street, slowly, often getting sidetracked by the stalls. Kitty and Robin took turns in tearing parts of the candy floss off.

They reached the end of the street and Cap text Julian again.

‘Are you free yet? ’

‘No ’ Came a response from Julian. ‘Im cold ’

‘I imagine you would be. ’

“Can we go on the merry-go-round?” Kitty asked.

“You’ve been on that 3 times already.” Cap sighed.

“Well, a fourth time won’t be so bad, will it?” She asked.

Eventually, after she asked several more times, the group relented and gathered around the merry-go-round. Kitty pulled Alison onto the ride.

The ride started to spin around, Kitty and Alison occasionally appearing, waving as they went by.

As the ride came to an end, the pair came stumbling off the ride.

“Oh, I’m all dizzy now.” Alison laughed.

“Mmm, I wonder how that feels.” Mike said, grinning and put his arm around her shoulders.

They started back down the street and Cap’s phone buzzed again.

‘Were coming down ’ Finally came from Julian.

“They’re being freed now.” Cap announced.

“Great, let’s go.” Robin said. He then proceeded to lead the group back towards the ride, where it was slowly being lowered down.

“I am freezing!” Julian cried as the ride stopped and they were released.

“He wouldn’t shut up the entire time.” Mary said, her teeth chattering. She wiggled out of her seat and went to hug Robin, shivering quite violently as she did so.

“And starving,” Julian muttered, getting up from his seat. “I am so hungry-”

Then there was a ripping noise.

“Oh, what was that?” Julian groaned.

As he stood up it became apparent what was up.

Half of Julian’s trousers were still hanging onto the seat.

“Oh my God!” Julian cried. “You have got to be joking!”

The group burst into laughter as Julian spluttered and yapped. The trousers fell apart and Julian stood there dumbfounded. He blinked and slowly shuffled over to Cap, not taking his eyes from the seat.

“Please tell me that didn’t happen.” He whimpered.

Cap glanced down at Julian’s now bare legs and back to Julian’s face.

“Oh, it happened.” Cap said.

“No, you’re lying, Cap.” Julian said.

“I’m really not.”

Julian breathed heavily. “I’m cold, Cap.”

“I imagine you would be.”

Julian glanced at Mary, who was now practically buried in Robin’s coat (which he was still wearing) and then back at Cap.

“Hug me.”

“No, Julian, I’m not hugging you.”

“Come on, this is your chance to rescue me from freezing.”

“No, I’m not going to hug you.”

“But I’m so cold, come on, I have nothing on my legs.”

“Well, you should have invested in stronger trousers.”

“They’re expensive, Cap!” Julian cried. “I need something at least.”

That something ended up being bright purple, sparkly short shorts from a street vendor who would not stop laughing.

“They’re a little tight.” Julian muttered.

“I’m guessing they are, they’re meant for someone half you size.” Cap muttered. “Julian, stop pawing at them.”

“But they’re tight.” Julian whined.

“Yeah, mate, try not to, kids and all that.” Pat said.

“Right, that’s it, I’m going home.” Julian said.

“Yes, that might be a bit of a good idea.” Alison said. She patted Mike’s back who desperately waved her hand away, staring up at the sky, looking awfully peaky. Apparently the ride-sickness had made a come back for him. Or perhaps it was food poisoning.

The rest of them murmured their agreement and they started to make their way to the end of the street.

They continued down the street for a bit longer when Cap came to realise someone was following them.

A lady with brown hair, staring very intensely at Cap. Occasionally, Cap realised as he watched her out the corner of his eye, she kept flicking back to look at her phone.

It was as they reached the end of the street did she approach them.

“Hi, sorry, you’re Adam’s boyfriend, right?” She asked Cap, sliding alongside him.

“What?” Cap spluttered.

“You’re… the Captain, right?” She then asked, looking back down at her phone for a split second.

“I- what?”

“You guys are the LGBT+ meetup group, right?”

“That’s right, yes we are.” Pat said, diving in. The group stopped and shuffled to the side of the street. “I’m Pat, nice to meet you.” He extended his hand and the lady took it.

“Charmed, I’m Margot.” She released Pat’s hand and turned back to Cap. “Adam told me about you guys, said I should check it out.”

“Aw, that’s nice of him, it’s a shame he couldn’t join us tonight.” Pat said.

“Oh, I’ve heard he’s planning on making it here one night.” Margot said.

Cap coughed. “Well, if you’re all done talking about my personal life, yes, I am the Captain.”

“But we just call him ‘Cap’.” Kitty said.

“Yes, thank you, Catherine.” Cap grumbled. “If you’re looking to join, unfortunately I don’t have any cards with me, but we’re on meetup.com if you wanted to look on there for us. The next meetup is next Thursday at 7:00pm upstairs at Brain Jar-”

“We do TED Talks.” Kitty said excitedly.

“‘The next one’, are you guys done at the fair already?” Margot asked.

“As a group yes.” Cap said.

“Blame Julian for that.” Thomas said.

“Oh, really, what did he do?” Margot asked, peering around them all.

This was when Cap became aware of Julian, seemingly trying to wrestle  Robin’s coat from him.

“Julian!” Cap snapped. “What on earth are you doing?”

“I can’t let possible new people see me like this.” Julian hissed, giving up on trying to get Robin’s coat and just standing behind him instead.

“That’s Julian.” Thomas sighed. Then he paused. “He destroyed his trousers.

“ThoMAS!” Julian squawked. “You layabout, don’t spread lies!”

“No, it’s true.” Kitty said, still immensely cheerfully. “He’s wearing sparkly purple shorts now.”

“KitTY!” Julian cried. He dropped his head into Robin’s hair and started to cry (well, clearly fake crying, but Kitty thought it was real).

“I’d like to see these purple shorts.” Margot said as Kitty attempted to comfort the phoney.

“You would?” Julian’s head shot up and he then proceeded to ignore Kitty’s attempts to berate him for faking crying.

“Hmm, absolutely I would.” Margot said, completely straight-faced, Cap didn’t know if she was joking or not.

“Well, er, it’s not my best look.” Julian said, stepping away from Robin.

“Nice legs.” Margot said, raising an eyebrow.

“Thanks, they’re my own, you know.”

There was a moment of silence and Margot suddenly started to giggle.

Julian’s face light up and eventually Margot stopped. She wiped her eyes and waved at them.

“I should let you go, I imagine you’re freezing.” She said. She took a step back. “7, next Thursday at Brain Jar, right, Captain?”

Cap nodded.

“I should be free from university that night. I’ll see about popping by.” She waved again and turned to leave. “Bye.”

“Bye!” Julian shouted after as she disappeared back into the crowd.

Cap shook his head and grabbed Julian’s arm. “Come on, let’s get you home before you freeze to death.”

Once Cap had dropped Julian off home he rang Adam.

“Hi Cap. How are you? What’s up? ” Came the delightful sounds of Adam’s voice through the phone.

“Hello Adam, I’m good thank you, just got back from Fair.”

“Oh, sorry again for missing that .”

“That’s fine, don’t worry about that, your work is important.” Cap said.

“How was it? ” Adam asked.

“Well I think Michael has food poisoning and Julian and Mary got stuck on a ride but apart from that, it was good.” Cap said.

Adam laughed. “I’m glad you had fun. ”

“Oh, there was something I wanted to ask you.” Cap said.

“Oh yeah? ”

“Do you know a lady called Margot?”

“A doctorate.” Julian had repeated this at least 20 times since Cap told him, a dreamy look on his face. “She’s doing a doctorate.”

“Yes she is, now you want, we can get either Mexican or Italian for £15?” Cap also repeated for at least the 20th time.

“A doctorate…”

“JULIAN!”

Julian jumped and snapped his head around.

“What?”

“Mexican? Italian?”

“Oh- I- er- I- erm- I- oh- I- ah- er- erm- er- Mexican!”

Cap sighed and shook his head. He parked up and the pair started to make their way to a local Mexican.

Only for Julian to stop.

Cap turned back around to see Julian practically stuck up against a window.

“Julian, what on earth are you doing?” Cap stomped back Julian and peered through the window.

Margot was stood at the counter.

“I’ve changed my mind, come on, let’s get Kurdish instead.” And before Cap could say anything else Julian darted into the VERY expensive Kurdish shop.

Cap really had no other choice but to follow. It was either that or have Margot pay for Julian.

“Hi.” Julian said, sliding up the counter.

Margot jumped in shock and turned to face Julian. She blinked a few times and frowned. It was as she opened her mouth to say something did she seem to realise.

“Oh, hello.” She said. She glanced down then back up. “Where’s the stylish shorts?”

“I may have shredded them.” Julian said.

“They looked new, you could have donated them.” Margot said.

“Or I may have done that.” Julian said quickly, grinning.

Margot shook her head and Cap was sure there was a faint trace of a smile on her face.

“Do you two come here often?” She then asked.

“N-” Cap started but Julian practically shouted over him.

“Yes, we come here all the time, don’t we, Cap.” He then refused to let Cap answer by continuing to talk. “But, you know, we’ve tried a lot of stuff from here, but what I’d really like to know if what’s your favourite?”

“Well, I always tend to get the lamb biryani.” Margot said. “It’s what I’ve just got now.”

“Ah, excellent, that’s one of my favourites too.” Julian said. Then, to Cap’s horror, he turned to one of the staff waiting patiently. “Two most of what the lady’s having.”

Biryani was a rice dish, Cap thought. He was sure it was.

“Ma’am.” One of the staff said. They handed Margot a wrapped up box and she handed them money.

“Keep the change.” She said, waving away the change. “Well, I’ll see you guys later.” She then said to Cap and Julian.

“You’re coming this Thursday, right?” Julian asked.

“I’ll have to see.” Margot said. She waved at them and left the shop, Julian waving back at her.

“Isn’t she great.” Julian muttered. He turned back to Cap and blinked. “What?”

“Gentlemen.” The staff member said, bringing up some wrapped boxes. “That’s £38.”

Julian-Count: 292.

Chapter Text

It was 26°C, predicted to get sunny later in the day, just a bit overcast right now. A perfect day for Pride.

Cap was stood in the middle of the street, Adam in front of him, tying Cap’s flag securely around his neck.

“Hopefully this won’t just come undone.” Adam muttered.

“No, it should be fine, especially if you’ve done it.” Cap said.

Adam laid his arms around Cap’s shoulders. “I think I should get a patch from Pat for that.”

“Mmm, I’ll have a word.” 

Adam laughed, the sun glinting off the glitter sprinkled over his face. “I’ll have to practice my sewing.”

“Mmm, we’ll practice together.” Cap said. He leant forward and kissed Adam. He pulled away and rested his head on Adam’s shoulder, glancing around at the rest of the group.

“No way am I having the responsibility of the big trans flag.” Cap heard Humphrey say. “Last time I helped walk it I tripped up and it help up the ENTIRE parade.”

“I’m not going by myselfs.” Mary said.

“I reckon smaller ones that we don’t have to do in a group effort will do.” Mike said.

Mary and Humphrey nodded and grinned. All three of them tightened their trans flags (Mary had her flag around her waist, his lesbian one over her shoulders) and proceeded to high-five each other (Humphrey missed both of them first time around).

“Hot.” Robin said at Cap’s other side.

“You’ve got three flags on, I’d be surprised if you weren’t.” Julian said, himself draped in his bi flag. “Just take one off.”

“No.” Robin shifted his flags (ace and aro as capes, agender tied around his waist) and continued to pant under the heat.

Alison and Kitty, who were both caped in their bi flags, were securing one on Fanny, chatting away.

“They’re playing some good tunes back there.” Came Margot’s voice, as she and Pat returned from scouting up and down the line.

“It’s the radio station.” Pat chirped. “It might be better than being next to BP.”

“Of course it’s going to be better than walking with BP.” Margot said loudly, staring straight at the BP group. “We should consider moving.”

“Yes, excellent idea, let’s move.” Julian said immediately. Julian then ushered everyone in the direction where Margot and Pat had come from. “Come on, come on, Margot says it’s better over there.”

Margot shook her head and glanced back at Pat before taking the lead.

“Over by the giant Jesus.” She said, pointing at a big straw Jesus pointing high in the air.

They all managed to squeeze their way across to the radio group, who were pushing a big music box in a trolley.

As they milled around waiting for the parade to start they were stood by a stall selling flags. Thomas was eyeing the stall, specifically the green aromantic flag. Good . Cap thought. Robin is having a positive influence on him.

“Would you like me to buy you one?” Cap asked, leaning across to Thomas.

“What? No. No!” Thomas snapped. He stalked off to the opposite side of the group and crossed his arms in a huff.

Cap shook his head and stepped over to the stall.

“One aromantic flag please.” Cap said.

Once he had bought it and returned to the group the parade suddenly cheered and slowly started to move.

The group followed the crowd, laughing and joking as they did so.

It was as they were passing by Sainsbury’s, collecting their free water did it start to rain. Well, it was more spitting, but still.

As everyone pulled their flags over their heads Cap saw an opportunity and took it.

“So, Thomas.” He said, stepping in front of Thomas, stopping him from going forward. “I got you one anyway.” He shoved the flag into Thomas’ hand. “You don’t have to wear it, I just want you to have it, okay.”

Thomas nodded slightly, eyes directly on the flag.

Cap turned back to Adam and took his hand as they continued to walk through the light rain. Thomas eventually caught up with them, the flag clutched in his hands.

The rain disappeared and they soon arrived at the park and the parade dispersed across it.

“Let’s go grab a good spot.” Pat said. “Do we want near the stage or further away?”

“Let’s go further away.” Cap said.

The group found a spot and settled down. Alison and Mike laid down on their flags and pointed up at the clouds as they went by, Alison resting her head on Mike’s shoulder. Cap did much the same with Adam.

“Oh!” Humphrey said suddenly. “I actually think we’re in the same spot as we were last year when I first found you guys.”

Cap frowned and glanced around. Actually, Humphrey was right, they were slap bang in between the pond and the rainbow stairs, just like last year.

“Oh yeah.” Cap muttered.

Julian was chatting happily with Margot, whilst Robin had taken off all his flags and leaning back on Julian’s side.

Thomas was still staring at the flag, apparently not even listening to Kitty who was talking to him.

The day carried on the sky grew more clearer, everything was going well until Alison suddenly gasped.

“Hide me!”

Almost immediately everyone moved to be in front of Alison from the direction she was staring at.

“Who is it?” Cap asked. He wasn’t above punching someone even on Pride.

“My ex.” Alison hissed. She discreetly pointed and Cap squinted to see who it was.

“My God, Alison, you dated a chav?” Julian cried.

“I- well I- I- Look. I was 18 when I started dating him.” Alison said.

“Oh, him? He’s a dick.” Mike grumbled. He reached up and stroked Alison’s hair.

“He tried to convince me I wasn’t bi.” Alison said. “I was with him for 3 years, it was not… a pleasant time.”

The group hissed and Alison continue. “Actually the only reason I left him is because I met Mike, at an archery class of all things. I figured it might be time to leave when there was someone who didn’t try and do that.”

“I’m going to go over to him and-” Cap started but stopped when Alison said.

“Oh, you don’t have to do that, I already broke his nose when he kept saying transphobic bull to Mike.” She said, grinning slightly at the thought.

“What do you reckon he’s doing here then, if he’s like that?” Pat asked.

“Probably a piss-up.” Margot muttered.

“You’re probably right.” Pat sighed.

“I wish I wasn’t, Pat.” Margot sighed.

“I hope he gets so drunk he throws up.” Pat said.

Margot gasped and punched his shoulder lightly. “Such harsh words.”

“Well it needed to be said.” Pat said.

“Absolutely so.” Margot said.

“Yeah.” Julian said, not really adding anything to the conversation but Cap didn’t really take too much notice at that, Julian was constantly agreeing with Margot.

As the guy disappeared everyone sighed.

“Right, everyone keep an eye out for him.” Cap said. “And we’ll hope we don’t see him again.”

Fortunately, as the day continued, they didn’t see him again.

They all ended up buying some very expensive chips and at one point had a coke bottle explode but beyond that there were no other incidents. Well, apart from having to listen to poor impersonators.

Eventually, Margot’s phone started to buzz.

“Oh,” she sighed, turning the alarm off. “It’s time for me to get to work.”

“Do you have to go?” Julian asked.

“Living by myself, doing a doctorate? Yeah, I have to go.” Margot said.

“I should really head off to and get some work done.” Adam said. “I’ll give you a lift.”

“Oh thanks.” Margot chirped.

Adam turned and kissed Cap. “I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”

“I look forward to it.” Cap said quietly.

Adam and Margot got up and Julian waved.

“Bye.” He said, staring at Margot.

Margot frowned and smiled slightly, waving back as she and Adam disappeared into the crowd.

Some more time passed and at least the impersonators were starting to get better. The group all eventually started to discuss where to go next and eventually settled on Propaganda, one of the two gay bars in the city.

Well, first was to go get something to eat.

As the concert started to wind down and the temperature dropped, the group started to mutter about wanting food. They also all complained about how they were starting to get cold. Except for Robin however, who wrapped himself up in three layers of flags and proceeded to laugh at everyone who was complaining. Eventually they all set off for a restaurant close by.

However, it was then, as they were leaving the park, did something occur.

That guy, Alison’s ex suddenly appeared back in front of them.

Alison ground to a halt and stepped behind Julian. He was tall enough to hide her completely.

The ex seemed to be completely absolutely drunk and was stumbling around.

“Come on, we’ll just go straight by, he can’t stop us.” Mike said, taking hold of Alison’s hand.

“Yeah, you’re right!” Alison said.

“He’s probably so drunk he won’t even notice.” Cap muttered.

Alison stood out from behind Julian and together she and Mike strode by the ex.

The ex didn’t seem to notice, but then again, it’s likely he didn’t even notice anything around him.

They all left the park and hopped over to the restaurant. They managed to get a table and as they were waiting for their food Cap noticed Thomas was still staring at the aro flag. That was good, Cap hoped he actually like it.

The sun started to set as they left the restaurant.

The group took the time to sit by the fountains and carefully fold their flags and shove them into a bag Kitty had brought. They slowly wandered to the street Cap had left his car for the weekend and tossed the bag into the boot. It’ll be fine there, Cap promised to return the flags the next meet-up, once he’d even collected his car.

It was as they were coming back past the park did they see it. The blue flashing light of a police car, and a police officer, holding onto the ex.

“Oh, let’s just wait here.” Alison said. She plopped down by the fountain again and smiled as she watched the scene.

The ex attempted to struggle against the police and did actually managed to break away, making the unfortunate decision of swinging for the officer as he did so. He was then immediately pounced on by another police officer. They wrestled him to the ground and handcuffed him. They then dragged him up and shoved him into the back of the car.

Alison and Mike both laughed and clapped as they watched it occur.

“Oh, I feel so much more better now.” Alison said breathlessly.

“Excellent end to all that.” Mike said.

They continued to watch as the police car pulled away.

“Alright, everyone,” Julian said suddenly, clapping his hands together, a grin on his face. “Let’s go get hammered.”

The music was blaring and the drag queen at the DJ station was shouting something into the mic. Cap wasn’t sure what. To be honest, he wasn’t entirely sure on anything at the moment. He knew he had bought 5 drinks, but for the life of him he couldn’t think of how many the others had bought for him. Or rather, he couldn’t think at all.

The group was shouting and laughing and somebody, God knows who, had bought a fishbowl.

At this moment, the only thing Cap could specifically remember was Robin had bought them all a shot which turned out to just be pure vodka (only Robin and, surprisingly, Fanny, downed it without problem).

Kitty was clapping with the music, occasionally trying to grab Mary  or Humphrey and missing by quite a margin. Robin, however, had successfully managed to grab Julian’s arm and didn’t seem to be letting go any time soon.

Alison and Mike was spinning around, laughing wildly.

Pat staggered over to Cap, eyes wide, glasses askew.

“Come on, let’s dance, get everyone.” Pat said, or at least tried to say.

“I’d rather not.” Fanny said, thought it was doubtful Pat hear her. He must have seen her talk though and assumed it was agreement, as he took hold of her hand and pulled her up and over to the dance floor.

Cap laughed as he watched Pat trying to get Fanny to dance. Pat really wasn’t having much luck.

Alison and Mike staggered over, giggling.

“Ra-ra!” Alison shouted.

“Huh?” Cap frowned.

“Ra-ra!” Alison repeated. “Rasputin!”

“Huh?” Cap said again before he suddenly realised that Rasputin was indeed playing.

Kitty banged her hands on the table. “Lovers greatest Russia-”

“No, Kitty, that’s not right.” Thomas said.

Mike laughed and tried to do that squatting, kicking dance, oh, Cap was sure he knew its name, he just couldn’t for the life of him remember.

Mike couldn’t do it. He immediately fell and the booth erupted into laughter.

“Not doin’ right.” Robin half-shouted. The more Robin drank, the thicker his accent was becoming, so Cap believed that was what he said.

It must have been as Thomas said, “go on then, if you know how to.”

Robin perked up and attempted to get out of the booth. The only issue being was that he hadn’t let of Julian’s arm and half dragged him along.

“Oi, Robin, let go!” Julian cried.

“Don’t wanna.” Robin whined.

“You’re going to have to if you want to show Mike up.” Julian said, trying to free his arm from Robin’s iron grip.

Robin kept whining (Cap wasn’t sure if he was talking or just making whining noises) until eventually he (reluctantly) let go of Julian’s arm.

Pat and Fanny appeared back at the booth, Pat was beaming, Fanny not so much.

He seemed to get over it quickly as he clambered from the booth to stand, swaying, next to Mike. Robin grinned and attempted to point at Mike, it didn’t really work though, as Robin’s hand started to drift around.

“Is Hopak moves.” Robin said. He lowered his hand and nearly stumbled backwards. He shook his head and grinned. Then he folded his arms in front of him and squatted. No way he’d be able to do it , Cap thought, he’s struggling to stand ‘cause he’s- he’s…? vodka!

Mary and Kitty started repeatedly banging on the table as Robin started to kick. Cap blinked, partly to get rid of some alcoholic haze, partly out of admiration. Eventually, Robin sprang back upright and grinned.

The booth erupted into cheering (along with several other people who stood and watched him).

“That’s goin’ right.” Robin said to Mike. He then immediately stumbled over trying to get back to the booth.

“But that’s cheating,” Humphrey slurred. “Russian.”

“No Russian.” Robin huffed, managing to retake Julian’s arm.

The group settled back down and Alison pushed Cap further down the booth so she and Mike could sit down.

The night continued on until Kitty nearly fell face-first into the table as she started to drift off to sleep. It was then everyone collectively decided to call it a night.

They all stumbled out of the club and staggered down the street.

“Sun’s coming up.” Pat said.

Cap looked up. Pat was right. Blue was creating back into the sky.

Cap was immediately distracted by this when he felt a sudden pain in his head. Cap gasped and looked down to see a lamp post glaring at him. Mmm, perhaps it’s not a good idea to look up.

“Taxis.” Julian muttered. “Let’s get you all in taxis.” Julian didn’t seem very drunk. The only reason he was stumbling was because Robin was still refusing to let go of him. Or maybe he was drunk, but was just because Julian could drink everyone under the table.

Really, Cap was glad for that, he was in no fit state to make sure everyone got home safely.

"Stay with you?" Cap was sure he heard Robin ask Julian.

He must of, as he definitely heard Julian reply with "only if you don't try to gnaw my duvet like you did last time."

Cap really didn't want to waste any brain power on even processing that at the moment.

Cap was pretty sure Julian had gotten everyone else into taxis before Julian bundled him into one. At least, everyone else had disappeared by then.

Cap blinked across the taxi at Julian (who still had Robin buried into his side).

“Had a good time?” Cap asked.

“Yeah, I had a good time. You ask me every year and I always do, Cap.” Julian said.

“S’good.” Cap said. “Robin, you?”

Robin muttered something quietly but Cap wasn’t sure what.

The taxi stopped and Julian said “Cap, it’s your stop. You going to be alright getting in?”

Cap nodded and managed to get out of the taxi. Cap waved at Julian and managed to get into his house.

Hmm, Cap thought as he collapsed into bed. His Julian-Count hadn’t increased today. Oh well, there’s always tomorrow.

Chapter Text

“So, whilst both orientations are similar, there is a distinction between bi and pan which can really only be decided by the individual.” Pat said. The projector was humming in front of Cap as the pan flag was projected onto the screen.

“I decided on pan.” Pat said. “I don’t feel different depending on gender, I think it fits me better.”

“Yeah, I was thinking about that too.” Alison said from her seat. “Between the two, I decided that bi fit me better.”

“Exactly!” Pat said. “Whilst they may seem similar, the distinction is important to people.” He smiled. “I think that’s it, I don’t have much more to add now.”

“Well, well done, Pat.” Cap said, clapping his hands together.

Pat smiled again and once the projector had been stored away and Pat took another seat did Cap stand up.

“So, halloween is coming up and I’m looking at getting us to join a murder mystery.” Cap said. “It’s going to span the entire city centre, I thought it might be fun to get into teams and see who can solve it quicker.”

“Oh, that’ll be fun.” Julian muttered.

“Yes, exactly as I said, fun. It’s during the evening, it should only take an hour or so, Julian, you can go drinking after.” Cap sighed.

“That should be fun!” Kitty said, before gasping. “Like an escape room!”

“Ooh, an escape room would be fun.” Mary said.

“Yes, yes, escape room, noted.” Cap sighed. There was no way he was being locked in a room with any of these people. They would never escape.

“But a murder mystery sounds like great fun,” Pat said. “Do we have to do anything to prepare?”

“No, not really,” Cap said. “There is a £5 entry if everyone would be okay with that?”

Everyone agreed and Cap tapped his phone, “I’ve got us provisionally booked, if you get the money to me by next week’s meet-up that would be great.”

The meeting continued without incident and eventually everyone decided to head home.

“Cap,” Julian whined as they headed to Cap’s car.

“Oh, fine, I’ll pay for you.” Cap sighed.

“Thank you, Cap.” Julian said, beaming.

Cap grumbled as the car roared into life.

Halloween quickly came around, and Cap actually managed to book them a go-around for the murder mystery. He was amazed. He genuinely thought nobody would pay towards it. It was surprisingly warm for the end of October.

“Okay, so here’s the story.” The organiser said, standing on the steps in front of them.They were wearing a mock police uniform and had a wide grin on their face; a manic glint in their eye. Oh , Cap thought. They were really into this .

“The victim is Philip Burton,” the organiser continued. “On 01:47am on Saturday 14th December 2019, he was found dead on the roadside next to the Dog and Duck. He had died of a head injury from blunt trauma. Now, detectives, we need your help to figure out who killed him. To find the killer quickly, you’re going to have to divide into teams, and just know, all the other teams are racing for the killer, so best get there first.”

Cap sighed. It had sounded less cheesy on the website.

The organiser picked up a cup with straws inside. “To make this fair, you’re all going to go into colour coded teams at random.”

They then hurried around them all, allowing them to pull out sticks. Cap got green.

“And now go find the rest of your team. Come back here once you’ve figured it out, or if not, come back here in a hour’s time.” The organiser beamed.

“Looks like we’re on different teams, Cap.” Adam said next to him. Adam was indeed holding a blue stick. “I’ll try to go easy on you.”

“Will you know?” Cap said. “Well so will I; I have-” he scanned the crowd. “Margot on my team.”

“Yeah? I’ve got Pat and Alison on mine.” Adam said.

“Oh right? Well-” Cap scanned again. Oh. The other person was Robin. “Well then, may the best man win.”

Adam laughed but shook his hand.

So, after Julian whining about being on a different team from his three main sources of attention, the group split off in separate directions.

Cap, Margot and Robin wandered for a bit before coming across their first clue. Or at least, Cap hoped it was. The event had put up fliers where the clues where, and a lot of the clues were actors. So when Cap saw a lady who looked like she’d clock out any one who tried to speak to her standing by a flier, Cap hoped she was an actor.

The other two seemed to have the same idea, as they both looked at Cap with pleading eyes.

Cap sighed again. “Fine.” He said quietly.

He walked over to the lady.

“Excuse me,” he said. “Do you know anything about Philip Burton?”

“Philip Burton?” The lady snapped. Oh god, was this just a random civilian they were pestering?

“I know Philip Burton!” Oh, thank God, it was an actor. “Been having an affair he was, whole street heard it when Becca kicked him out.”

“Oh, oh really?” Cap spluttered. Margot seemed to be furiously writing stuff down. “And- and who, who did he have an affair with? Do you know?”

“Sabrina Martendale.” The woman said.

“And… who is that?” Margot asked.

“Harrison’s wife.” The woman said. “Word has it they’re getting a divorce now.”

“Huh-uh.” Margot said. “And anything else-?”

“I gotta put my washing out.” The woman said abruptly, before disappearing around the corner.

“Oh, well, I guess that was the clue.” Cap said. “Let’s go find the next one.”

They carried on a bit further on, Margot and Robin looking over the notes they had taken.

“This wife or girlfriend?” Robin asked, tapping the name ‘Becca’.

“Ahh, we should have asked.” Margot said, shaking her head.

They carried on until they came across another marker. And a man wearing a cricket uniform, throwing a cricket ball up and down.

“Hi!” Robin chirped. “Know Philip Burton?” 

“Philip Burton?” The cricketer said. “No, I don’t know anyone by that name.” He continued to throw the cricket ball in the air.

“Play- er- play, game? Ball game?” Robin asked, scrunching his face up.

“Cricket, Robin.” Cap said.

“Cricket!” Robin said, success in his voice.

“Oh yeah, I love cricket. I’m in the local team!” The cricketer said proudly.

“Is your team doing well?” Margot asked, jotting things down.

“It’s going grand!” The cricketer said proudly. Then his smiled dropped. “Or we would, if we had won our last match on Sunday.”

“Did you… lose for any particular reason?” Cap asked slowly.

“Well,” the cricketer said. “It’s just that, Tom Sampson is like our star player, but on Sunday he was upset and agitated. He was fine on the Saturday afternoon practice. I reckon it’s from the stress piling up of looking after his mother once all her money went and she couldn’t afford to live in the nursing home anymore- Oops, I shouldn’t have said that.”

“No no,” Margot said. “Please continue. Where did all her money go?”

“Oh, er,” the cricketer mumbled. “We don’t know, don’t like to speculate. Could be she spent it all but just can’t remember it.”

Margot hummed.

“But I reckon that’s why Tom was stressed, having to become a full-time carer too.” The cricketer continued. “That and his sister had just found out her partner had been cheating on her. She was in a right state, didn’t seem to want to help take care of her mum at all.”

“His sister,” Cap said. “Is this Becca Sampson?”

“Becca- Rebecca de Forest.” The cricketer said. “She’s Tom’s half sister. Their mother is Margo de Forest.”

“Thank you.” Margot said. “Is there anything else?”

“No, not really.” The cricketer said. “Only Tom also turned up without his bat, said he’s lost if so that might have added to his downer.”

“Thank you.” Cap said again. “Let’s move on, shall we?”

They moved on further down the street looking through their clues again.

They eventually came up to another clue and another person.

“Look,” the person said as the team walked up to them. “I am done listening to people slag Sabrina off, yes, she made a mistake, but she was wanting to break it up with Phil for ages. But why does she gotta go through the ringer? All these accusations thrown at her? Why not blame Harrison? Why is nobody doing that? Why isn’t anyone looking at where Phil got all that money for those fancy hotels? ‘Cause it wasn’t from Sab.”

“What did Philip do for a job, how do you know he wouldn’t be able to afford fancy hotels?” Cap asked.

“Works- worked at a nursing home, din’t he.” The person said. “White Horse Care Home, I think. He was only on minimum wage according to Becca, no way he’s be able to afford those hotels.”

“Can I ask.” Margot said. “Did you see Sabrina on Saturday morning?”

“What?” The person snapped. “Of course I did.”

“All night?” Robin asked.

“Yes of course. The only time I didn’t see her was when she went to the bathroom. She was gone for ages but that was just ‘cause half the toilets were broken and there was a party going on there.”

“And what about Harrison?” Cap asked. 

“I saw Harrison in the evening, think he left around midnight.”

“Thank you, that was very helpful.” Cap said.

The team set off again as discussed their notes.

“I think it’s Harrison. He disappeared before the murder, the victim was having an affair with his wife.” Cap said. “He has motive, opportunity-”

“But no means.” Margot said.

“The lost cricket bat-”

“No proof he took bat.” Robin pointed out.

“Mmm, that’s true, we need to find that next.”

“What about Sabrina?” Margot said. “She also had opportunity when she ‘went to the bathroom’. And she wanted an out of the affair, or at least, wanted revenge for being ruined by it.”

“Still no bat.” Robin said in a sing-song voice.

“Fine, let’s go find this bat.” Cap said.

They continued for a bit before coming to a next clue. A woman was standing there, arms wrapped around herself.

“Hi,” Margot said, going over to her. “Do you know anything about Philip Burton?”

“Do I?” The woman cried. “I sure hope I do. He’s my… he was my partner.”

“Oh, you’re Becca de Forest?” Margot asked.

The woman nodded.

“Well, I’m sorry for your loss-” Margot said but Becca cut her off.

“Sorry? I’m not sorry he’s gone. He humiliated me, he cheated on me!” Becca cried. “I had to move in with my brother and my mother. He had the house, there was no way I would ever get it. He kicked me out in the end!”

“When was the last time you saw Philip?” Cap asked.

“Thursday afternoon, he let me in the house to collect my stuff.” Becca said.

“What about Saturday morning?” Robin asked.

“You mean before he got murdered? No, I didn’t see him. I didn’t even go out that night.” Becca said. “I spent the entire night in my brother’s dusty-ass spare room. Our mother got the pull-out bed. And Tom still screws around with me, even now. Went to bed Sunday evening and his cricket bat was shoved under the mattress. It’s an old joke he plays on me. It hurt like hell, I just fell on top of it.”

“His… cricket bat?” Cap asked slowly.

“Yeah!” Becca snapped, folding her arms. “I’ve still got the bruise.”

“Becca, do you know where Philip got the money for all the hotels and stuff for the affair?” Margot asked.

“No, he didn’t earn enough and I can say for certain he didn’t take it from me.” Becca said.

“Thank you, you’ve been very helpful.” Cap muttered. “Come on, let’s go.”

The made it to the end of the street and Cap turned around. “Bat, see, there it is.”

“But it’s in Tom’s house. There’s no way Harrison or Sabrina would be able to put it there.” Margot said.

“But Tom said he lost the bat. But the bat is there in his home.” Robin said.

“Mmm, so Tom could have done it?” Cap said.

“Oh yeah! He had motive, the victim ruined his half-sister and means, he had the bat. All we’re missing now is opportunity.” Margot said excitedly.

“But do we even know if the bat was the murder weapon?” Cap asked.

“No other weapon found, have to assume until otherwise told.” Robin said.

“Come on, let’s get the next one!” Margot said, grinning.

They carried on until they reached their next marker. And an old woman sat next to it.

“Oh hello, dearies, so nice to have guests.” She said.

“You’re… Margo de Forest? Right?” Cap asked.

“That’s right, why not take a seat.”

Er, probably because there wasn’t any seats.

“Oh, thank you.” Cap muttered. “Ma’am, do you know Philip Burton?”

“Ah, Philip, yes, I know him.” Margo said, smiling. “He looked after me when I was in White Horse. He use to go shopping for me, such a lovely boy.”

“Go shopping for you?” Robin asked, tilting his head.

“Yes, you know, groceries and nic-naks.” Margo said. “He bought them online for me. Though I suppose,” Margo’s hands balled into fists. “That’s why I ran out of money and had to move in with Tom. Tom does a lot of me, he‘s a good kid. He doesn’t deserve the things he gets.”

“Uh-huh.” Cap shared a look with the other two. “And what are your thoughts on him having an affair?”

Margo’s face dropped suddenly and Cap really did have to remember that this was just an actor.

“That was an awful thing he did, my Becca didn’t deserve any of that!” Margo snapped. “Why, she was so distressed she didn’t even come out with me and Tom to the party.”

“The one on Friday?” Margot asked.

“That’s the one, sweetie.”

“Were you with Tom, all night?” Cap asked.

“No. Well, yes. Yes, oh, I’m afraid my memory is going, I can’t remember if I’m coming or going sometimes.” Margo said.

“And you’re in pub all night?” Robin asked.

“Well I did have to nip to the car, I wanted some fresh air so I went myself.” Margo said. “Though Tom did have to go and check I had locked the car when I got back. I couldn’t remember.”

“And this was?”

“Oh, I don’t remember that. Some time late. It was night time.”

“Thank you, you’ve been very helpful.” Cap muttered and the team moved on.

“Definitely Tom.” Margot said. “Motive, his sister, means, his bat and opportunity, he was out of sight for a time, he could have carried it out.”

“But was the bat in the car?” Cap asked.

“Had Saturday practice and Sunday game. Kept bat in the car instead of moving it.” Robin said.

“Not to mention, the victim was buying the old lady things online, got access to her bank account, he was probably stealing the money off her. Another motive for Tom.” Margot said.

“Yes, you could be right, we’ll need to keep looking to find out.” Cap said.

They carried on for a bit before running into something. Not another clue, but Julian, Alison, Humphrey and Kitty.

“Solved it yet?” Julian asked.

“We might have done.” Margot said, crossing her arms.

“Oh, well we might have done too.” Julian said.

“We’ll see.” Robin said.

“We’ve got a confession!” Kitty said excitedly!”

“Kitty, we’re not meant to tell them.” Alison gasped.

“Oop, sorry!”

“It’s fine, Kitty.” Alison said, shaking her head.

“I don’t know, I still think it’s the mother.” Humphrey said.

“What, the 84 year old woman?” Alison said. “You’re still going on about this?”

“Hey, at least consider it.”

“Well, guess we’re winning then.” Julian said loudly enough to drown out Humphrey, and gave them a lop-sided grin.

When neither Margot or Robin responded Cap grunted. “Don’t count on that so soon.”

“Oh, I’m sure.” Julian said, wiggling his fingers. “Bu-bye.” And with that the team disappeared.

Margot and Robin stood quietly until Cap suddenly said. “Come on, let’s go.”

They continued to walk; Margot kept checking her clipboard but as Cap saw her eyes, they weren’t reading her notes.

It was silent again until Margot said. “I wonder what products Julian uses in his hair.”

Cap sighed and was about to list of all the crap Julian used as ‘hair care products’ but Robin started to speak instead.

“Julian’s hair smells nice.” He said.

“Huh?” Margot muttered.

“His hair smells nice.” Robin repeated.

“Oh?”

“Hair’s very soft too.” Robin mumbled.

“Soft?” Margot said quietly.

Robin nodded. “Soft, good for petting. Helps him fall asleep.”

“You… do that a lot?” Margot asked.

Robin nodded and beamed, his face lighting up with enthusiasm. “He’s nice to curl with. Warm and safe. Looks adorable like that.” Cap was certain a blush was creeping into Robin’s face. “See him now? Looked cute smiling.”

“He looked like a dick, Robin.” Cap said loudly.

“No, looks nice.” Robin said firmly. “Sounds nice, makes me happy, get excited whenever he’s here.” Robin continued to beam as he placed a hand over his heart.

Cap rolled his eyes and Margot hummed.

They continued for a while longer, Robin continued to chatter about Julian, Cap could almost see the stars in his eyes. Margot was now staring into space, a strange, unidentifiable look across her face. It Cap had to describe it, it would be: strongly contained anger mixed in with great confusion which was being contained as to not come off as rude. It was only when Margot started to fidget with her clipboard, something Cap had never seen her do before, did Cap say something.

“Hey, Robin, do you want to run up the end of the street and see which way we need to go next.”

Robin stopped talking during a story of the time he and Julian went to Specsavers (despite Julian not needing glasses, and this is the truth, Cap can attest to that. Julian 100% absolutely does not need glasses) as Julian was trying on glasses just how cute each of the glasses made him look and grinned. “Sure!” Then he bolted off down the street.

The Cap turned to Margot, their pace slowing to a crawl.

“Are you okay?” He asked.

“Yes, yes, I’m fine.” Margot said. She was then quiet for less than three seconds before saying. “Well, actually, can I ask you. I don’t want to be rude or insult Robin, especially seeing as I went to Pride with you guys when he had his flags on, but Robin is aroace isn’t he?”

“Yes he is,” Cap said. “Or at least, he hasn’t told us anything different since. Why do you ask?”

“Because I thought he was and I- and I just got a little confused, I thought he was aroace but it sounds like he has a crush on Julian by the way he’s talking and the way he’s looking whilst he’s talking but I didn’t want to ask Robin in case he’s open about being a different orientation and I just missed it and insulted Robin by making him think I ignored his new orientation, I just didn’t want him to feel bad, so I had to make sure with you because you won’t tell him I asked because I was being dumb.” Margot said in what must have been one breath. “That’s all I ask, no other reason at all.”

“Right.” Cap said slowly. That was not the reason. “No, he’s still aroace as far as I am aware. He doesn’t have a crush on Julian, he-” Cap looked up but Robin was still running around at the top of the street, well out of earshot. “He does have a squish on Julian, though don’t let Robin know you know, okay. It might seem like a crush, but it’s not. Though fortunately Robin doesn’t always go off on rants about Julian. Unfortunately that’s mainly because Julian is with him anyway.” Cap looked back up at Robin. “Come on, let’s catch up with him before he thinks something’s wrong.”

Once they did, Robin chirped. “This way.” And took off down a street, leaving the other two to follow. Margot had taken out her phone and seemed to be furiously typing away.

They reached their next clue but Margot didn’t seem to be paying attention, deeply invested in her phone instead, so Cap took the lead and Robin took the clipboard.

“Yeah, I just to work with Philip.” A lady in an obviously fake nurse’s uniform said. “To tell you the truth, it really could have been any of them. I think it might have been Becca.”

“Can you tell us about the relationship between Philip and Margo de Forest?” Cap asked.

“She was one of Phil’s favourites.” The lady said. “I just reckon it was cause she was Becca’s mother. But he was always encouraging her to be active, hit the gym, if you can call what we have a ‘gym’. But we did see improvement from Margo, she took to that gym quite well for an 87 year old. I hope she’s going to carry on now she’s back at Tom’s.”

“Did you know about Philip buying things for Margo?” Cap asked.

“Yeah, that was weird. We’re really not meant to, especially using their cards.”

“And you’re sure the card he was using to buy things was Margo’s?”

The lady nodded. “It had her name on.”

“Thank you, come on.” The team headed off again and Cap looked at the notes Robin had made.

Only.

“You’ve written them in Cyrillic, Robin!”

“Huh?” Robin looked down at them. “Oh, I did! I’m sorry!”

“Quit daydreaming, Robin, this is serious!”

“This is a game, Cap.” Margot suddenly said. She peered at the clipboard. “I can read that, no problem.”

“You can?” Cap asked.

Margot nodded and took the clipboard off him. Her face had fallen back into neutrality but her step seemed much more lighter than it had before. Clearly ‘whatever’ she was reading earlier had made some positive influence. Cap says ‘whatever’ in quotes, because it was clearly obvious what she was looking up considered the conversation they had just had.

It was as they were walking did Margot and Robin start talking again, quietly, away from Cap.

Cap figured he shouldn’t eavesdrop but still, their voices carried. Perhaps if they didn’t stand downwind Cap wouldn’t have heard, come on, Margot, think of these things.

“Don’t, not stupid.” Robin said. “Smile is end… ende… endearing He’s so cute and funny, don’t you think?”

“I- er- I guess he’s okay looking.” Margot muttered.

“So cute!” Robin said. “Have you hugged him? You should.”

“No, I’ve not.”

“You should!” Robin repeated softly. “Don’t really like being touched, but he’s so nice to do with, want to do it all the time.”

Margot hummed again.

“Really likes you, I think, talk about you a lot.” Robin said.

“Really? Oh, I hadn’t noticed.” Margot said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Oh! Shouldn’t have said anyt-”

“No,” Margot said. “It’s fine, I figured it out for myself.”

“Like him?” Robin asked.

“What? No. Absolutely not!” Margot practically snapped, half-turning to face  Robin. It was then she caught Cap’s eye and suddenly turned away. “Right,” she said loudly. “Clues. Clues!”

They continued to walk until they came upon a man. Margot was once again, furiously typing in her phone.

“And who are you?” Cap asked.

“I’m Tom.” The man said.

Oh, the murderer. Both Margot and Robin perked up as they heard it. Margot stored her phone away and brought the clipboard to the ready.

Cap hummed. “And how do you know Philip Burton?”

“He was my sister’s partner.” The man said. “He cheated on her.” He said much quieter.

“Oh, how did you find that out?” Margot asked.

“Everyone found out when they started shouting about it.” Tom said. “Arguing in the streets.”

“And how did you feel about that?” Margot asked.

“I- my sister, I have to look after her, of course I took her in, I had to, there was nothing else I could do. I had to.” Tom said. “I had to take our mum back in, what else was I supposed to do? They’re my family. I’d do anything for them.”

The team hummed.

“So, how much would you do for your family?” Robin asked.

“Anything!” Tom said.

“How much is anything?” Cap asked.

“So much!” Tom said.

“Even… murder?” Margot asked.

“Murder?” Tom gasped. “I would never…” The he stopped. He stared into space for a moment and blinked. Then he looked back at them. “No, I did it. I absolutely did it. Completely did it. I killed Philip.”

“Oh, did you.” Cap muttered. “Well, I guess that’s all we need. Thank you.” He jerked his head and the team started off back down the street.

“So, what do you think?” Cap asked, wheeling around to the other two.

“Mmm, I’m not sure.” Margot said, her voice was distant. Clearly whatever she was searching this time did not have a good effect on her. “He didn’t really seem into that confession.”

“Eh, might not have been a good actor.” Robin said.

“No,” Margot, “I think that was purposely a fake confession.”

“If it was a fake confession, then who actually did it?” Cap asked.

Margot shrugged. “I don’t know. We’ll have to find more clues.”

“Er, don’t think we can.” Robin said. “Run out of time.”

“What?” Cap squawked. He pulled out his phone and, yes, they had to get back to the meeting spot in five minutes. “Uh, fine. Quickly, who are we saying who did it? I think Tom.”

“I think Tom too.” Robin said.

“I don’t think Tom after speaking to him, but I don’t know who else it could be.” Margot said.

“Could be Becca, she could have lied to us about staying in.” Robin said.

“But why would she bring up the murder weapon?” Margot shot back.

Robin shrugged at that.

“So we’re all saying Tom?” Cap asked.

Both Margot and Robin nodded.

“Not much else we can do with what we have.” Margot muttered.

They arrived back at the meeting spot just as the other teams arrived.

“So, who do we think is the murderer?” The organiser in the mock police uniform asked. The actors were also lined up behind them, including some Cap didn’t managed to get around to seeing.

“We think it was Tom.” Cap said.

“So do we.” Julian said.

“I don’t.” Humphrey said. Julian shushed him.

“We think it was Becca.” Pat said, Mike nodding along side him.

“We think it’s Tom.” Adam said.

“Okay,” the organiser grinned. “Can the murderer step forward, please.”

And then.

It was Margo de Forest.

The 84 year old woman.

The group went silent for a moment before it was broken very loudly by Humphrey laughing.

“HA! I knew it! I was right! She murdered him and Tom is covering up for her, pretending it was him!”

“And that!” The organiser said, beaming even wider. “Is completely correct. Whilst at White Horse Care Home, Philip was her nurse, and she had given him her card to use to buy her shopping online. He also encouraged her to go to the gym and work on keeping fit, healthy, in the position to swing a bat if needed. Unfortunately, Philip was actually spending it on fancy hotels and presents for Sabrina, who he was having an affair with. Once all of Margo’s savings had gone she was forced to move back in with her son, Tom, an avid cricketer. The came the news of the affair. Philip’s partner, Becca, and Margo’s daughter found out and left to move back in with Tom. When Margo confronted Philip about this, he let slip that he had been using her money to fund the affair. Then, during the party at the pub, Margo took an opportunity to slip away to Tom’s car. He had cricket practice that day and his cricket bat was still in the car. Margo took this and, when Philip was leaving the pub, hit him over the head with it, all those gym sessions he told her to go to really pulled through. Unfortunately, Tom had seen this and, being the devoted son he is, decided to take the blame for it. He hid the cricket bat in his house and confessed to the crime of killing Philip.”

The organiser beamed again.

“And that concludes our murder mystery, I hope you all had fun. Give a hand to our actors and we hope you enjoy the rest of your halloween.”

“Well that was fun.” Margot said. “Different.”

“Enjoyed that.” Robin said, grinned.

“Yes, it was quite enjoyable.” Cap said. “I’m glad I booked us onto that.”

“See, I told you, old women.” Humphrey said, as they all began to join in a big circle.

“Next murder mystery, we’ll listen to you.” Alison said, with a tone that says she’ll have forgotten that promise the moment they stop talking about it.

“I don’t think we picked up on half of those clues.” Pat said. “Might have gone off in the wrong direction."

“Did you have a good time?” Adam asked, sliding up besides Cap and taking his hand.

“Yes, I did, how was yours?” Cap asked. He rubbed his thumb up and down the back of Adam’s hand and Adam laughed softly.

“Yeah, I had fun.” He said quietly.

“How did you think it was, Margot?” Julian asked.

Margot jumped and her head snapped up to look at Julian. “Yes, it was fun. Oh, look at the time, I must dash now.” Her face was going red. “It was lovely to hang out with you two,” she said to Cap and Robin. “But I have to go now. Bye.” And with that she shot off.

Julian gawked. “What did you say to her, Robin?”

“Me? Didn’t say anything!” Robin cried.

“You must have to make her upset.” Julian said.

“She busy.” Robin said.

“Julian, stop it.” Cap snapped. “I’m sure she is just very busy.”

“Why? How do you know? What’s she been saying?”

Oh God, Julian was never going to let go of this now.

“Come on, tell me, Cap. Tell me.”

293. Everything which comes out of Julian’s mouth can just be so annoying.

“Right!” Alison suddenly said loudly. Loud enough to speak over Julian. “Who wants to go drinking?”

Chapter Text

Cap didn’t like Bonfire Night.

All of the banging and booming sent tremors through his body. He was currently shut in his house, huddled under the table, a blanket thrown across his shoulders. He had the TV tuned into the most calming program he could think of, which was why Blue Planet II on the TV, turned up as loud as he could stand. It wasn’t helping.

It was as Cap was trying to focus on David Attenborough telling him about baby turtles did his phone suddenly start to ring.

“Hello?” Cap asked trying to not let his voice shake.

“Hi Cap, it’s just me.” Came Adam’s voice. “How are you? ”

“Me? I’m good.” Cap muttered.

“Cap, are you being honest? What are you doing now? ” Adam asked.

Cap sighed. “I’m sat under my table, wrapped in a blanket.”

“And I’m guessing watching a nature show, how loud do you have the TV? ”

There was a boom of a firework and Cap flinched. “Not loud enough.”

“Do you want to come and take you out somewhere, away from the noise? ” Adam asked.

“Where can be away from the noise?”

“Mary said her farm is quiet.” Adam said.

There was another bang.

“Does she swear it’s quiet?” Cap said quietly.

“Yes, she does.” Adam said firmly.

Cap thought for a moment then nodded. “Okay.” He mumbled.

“Okay, I’m coming to pick you up.” Adam said. “I’ll be there in 10 minutes.”

“Thank you.” Cap said. He ended the phone call and shuffled out from under the table.

It was a long 10 minutes but Adam eventually turned up.

“Hi, darling.” Adam gasped as Cap practically crashed into him, squeezing him in a tight hug. “Come on, have you got headphones?”

Cap nodded and pulled them from his pocket. His head was still stuck in Adam’s chest. Adam took the headphones and Cap felt him put the buds into his ears. Cap opened his eye and looked down at his phone. He started his music and stood up from Adam’s chest. He nodded and Adam took his hand.

Adam led Cap to the car, Cap’s music booming in his ears. They got in the car and Cap quickly shut his eyes, allowing the music and the rumble of the car calm him down.

He only opened them again when the car stopped. They were by Mary’s house. Cap removed his headphones, the booming of the fireworks were much more quieter now.

Once they had parked, Adam retook Cap’s hand and led him to the house. Adam had barely knocked when Mary suddenly appeared at the door.

“Comes in, comes in, the basement be nice and quiet.” She said, stepping aside to let them in.

She led them down to the basement were Kitty and Pat were sat by the log burner.

“See, it’s a lot quieter here than it was at your house.” Adam said gently. He steered Cap into a chair, rubbing his hand up and down Cap’s arm as he did so.

“Yes, it is rather.” Cap muttered. “Thank you for having me, Mary.” He said.

“It’s no bother.” Mary said. “Robin usually comes around for the night but he’s at work so it’s nice to have company. Fanny’s babysitting, Alison and Mike are at a display, Humphrey and Margot are also working and I thinks Julian is at home, moping.”

“What’s Julian moping about?” Adam asked.

Mary shrugged. “That’s Margot’s at work. Or that Robin’s at work. Or that Cap never leaves his house? I don’t know. Fanny tolds me when she said she couldn’t makes it, said she unfortunately bumped into him at the shops and that was all she could make out from his babbling.”

“Him babbling sounds about right.” Cap grunted.

“I had the same idea as you, Adam.” Pat said in a low voice, leaning forward. “Here’s quiet, it’ll help him too.” He added in a whisper, jerking his head towards a corner. Cap blinked, pulling himself fully into the room. He peered around to see Thomas sat in the corner, eyes glazed over, a hand pressed firmly into his side. Cap didn’t know that Thomas needed help during this night too, though that’s not surprising, Cap didn’t really know what anyone did during this night.

“Hasn’t really moved since we brought him here.” Pat said quietly.

“I hope he’s alright.” Kitty whined.

“I can hear you, you know.” Thomas suddenly rumbled.

“Sorry Thomas.” Pat said. “Why not come over to the fire?”

Thomas grunted and eventually shuffled over to the fire, taking a seat on the sofa. He folded his legs to his chest and wrapped his arms around them.

Cap lent back on the sofa, resting his head on Adam’s shoulder. The booming was faint and distant, and if Cap paid attention to the chattering of the others, virtually gone.

It was only when there was a sudden bang, a lot more louder did Cap flinch. He buried his head into Adam’s shoulder as he also heard a commotion besides him. When he finally raised his head he saw Thomas on his feet, Pat besides him to try and calm him down.

“It’s okay, Thomas.” Pat said quietly. “You’re safe here.”

“I know!” Thomas snapped. He pulled away from Pat and huddled back up on the sofa.

“Would you like to talk about it?” Pat asked slowly.

“No.” Came Thomas’ muffled voice.

And for once Thomas didn’t suddenly start talking with what the problem was. Instead, he stared at the fire in a way the surely couldn’t be good for his eyes in the long term.

It was as Kitty was excitedly telling a story about a pony when there was suddenly an explosion of noise. Cap grabbed hold of Adam in a vice and Mary jumped to her feet.

“Must be my brother, I’ll tell him to shut it.” Mary muttered. She disappeared from the basement and Cap once again closed his eyes, breathing deeply, consuming himself in the feeling of Adam stroking his hair.

Eventually the noise disappeared and there was the sound of someone coming into the basement.

“It was my brother, said he’ll stop.” Came Mary’s voice.

Cap opened his eyes and looked straight at Thomas.

Thomas was curled into a ball, face buried into his knees. He was trembling.

“Thomas, are you okay?” Kitty asked.

“I said, yes!” Thomas shouted, jumping to his feet.

“Thomas?” Kitty whimpered.

“I said I don’t want to talk about it.” Thomas snarled and with that he turned and stalked out of the basement.

Cap groaned and slowly stood up.

“It’s okay, I can go if you like.” Pat said softly.

“No, no, it’s okay, I’ll go.” Cap said. He patted Adam’s shoulder and set off in search of Thomas.

He left the basement and searched the empty living room and kitchen before coming outside. His breath plumbed up in front of him and he looked around to find Thomas.

It didn’t take Cap long to find him collapsed against the side of the garage.

“Now, come on, Thomas.” Cap said. “It’s much too cold to be out here without a coat.”

Thomas mumbled something though Cap couldn’t tell what it was. There was the faint booming of fireworks could still be heard and every time one went off Cap felt a tremor go through his body. Still, this was a lot more important than his desire to run away from the noises.

Thomas grabbed his hair as he shuddered at the fireworks.

“I hate this day.” Thomas eventually croaked.

“So do I.” Cap said.

They stayed outside for a couple more minutes, neither speaking as they flinched at the fireworks.

“Right, come on, Thomas. We have got to go back inside.” Cap said, starting to tremble from the cold.

“You go back in.” Thomas muttered.

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Cap said. “I can’t leave you out here.”

“Why not? Everyone else did.” Thomas said.

“And that’s exactly why I’m not leaving.” Cap said.

Thomas finally lifted his head and looked up at Cap.

“I mean it, Thorne.” Cap sighed. “Come back inside.”

Thomas blinked several times before finally nodding. He shuffled and picked himself up and slowly started to plod back towards the house, Cap following closely behind. As soon as they reached the house, Cap shut the door and blocked off the rest of the noise.

Cap led Thomas to the sofa and practically forced him to sit down.

“Now, do you want to talk about this?” Cap asked.

“I already said no.” Thomas said crossing his arms.

“Would it help if I told you mine?” Cap asked.

“Honestly, Cap, I think you’ve told us every single war story you could possibly have.” Thomas said.

“Yes,” Cap said firmly, taking a seat. “And in lieu of you not talking about what bothers you about the fireworks, I am going to explain myself again in extraordinary detail this time, more than I did last time-”

“No! No!” Thomas cried. “Don’t do that.” He then took a deep breath and fiddled with the cushion on the sofa. “Fine, I’ll tell you.”

Cap took a seat next to Thomas and waited patiently for him to talk. It was very unusual for Thomas to be this quiet when it came to talking about a story, even if it was one about himself.

“So,” Thomas began slowly. “It was about… 7 years ago now. I was 21 and was in my second year of university. I managed to get onto a Study Abroad scheme and decided to travel to America, New York specifically.” Thomas sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. He then opened his eyes and continued. “I had been in New York for about a week and- oh, that was an amazing week. The university I was at fantastic, the library they have is massive, it’s got so much to read and so much to see, I could have spent years there. But it wasn’t just the library, New York entirely is just amazing. In that first week I went up the Empire State building, saw the Statue of Liberty and it was summer so it was so warm and I could go exploring all day.”

Thomas pulled his legs back up to the sofa, wrapping his arms around them.

“I was there for about a week before I met… him. And he seemed nice at first. He seemed really nice. He took me to Broadway, he took me out for meals, he took me to the zoo. I really liked him. I even thought I wasn’t- I hoped I wasn’t aromantic as we carried on. I tried to not be uncomfortable by it, I kept forcing myself to ignore all the romantic parts, because if I liked him I couldn’t be aromantic I thought. Though really, I think I just wanted a QPR with him instead, I just kept didn’t want to think of it like that.” Thomas shook his head and moved a hand to press it against his side.

“But it was nice.” Thomas continued. “If I ignored that, it was a wonderful time. He even took me to meet his family. And the university was so good, I got so much writing done. I was enjoying myself so much, I honestly never wanted it to end. I was only going to be in New York for 3 months and I was with him for pretty much all of it.” Thomas paused again and glanced up at Cap. Cap nodded and motioned for him to continue.

“But it was on the last week I was there,” Thomas said. “We were on a date and it was going well, but then he took me down an alley, a shortcut he said. It was dark, I could barely see anything. There was some other people there. He told me to hang back for a bit and he went to talk to them. They were talking for a bit, and exchanging things. I don’t know what, I don’t want to know what. But one of the other people saw me, I don’t know how, I suppose if you’re skulking around dark alleys you get good at seeing things in them.” Thomas paused again, breathing deeply before continuing. “They started shouting and pointing at me. He barely even tried to stop them. Then they pulled out guns.”

Cap winced as he started to figure out where this was going.

“They pointed them at me, at him, at each other, they all just turned on each other. Even he pulled a gun out. They started shouting about how I was a witness. And then they started shooting. It was so loud even that was painful.” Thomas pushed his head into his knees, his voice becoming more muffled as he spoke. “I tried to hide but I- it didn’t… It didn’t help. It got me, hit me in the back, going straight through me, coming out. It- it hurt. A lot. It hurt so much.” Thomas’ voice went weak and eventually disappeared.

Cap sat besides Thomas as the other man was breathing heavily.

Cap didn’t say anything as Thomas sat there. Cap wasn’t sure how long they sat there not moving until Pat appeared in the living room. All he knew was that he hadn’t noticed the fireworks since Thomas had started talking.

“How is he?” Pat asked quietly.

But before Cap could answer Thomas raised his head and said loudly.

“He left me there! He came up to me and said ‘sorry, it’s nothing personal, but I’m not lugging you into a hospital, I’d get arrested. It was fun though, good luck.’ And he left me there, just left me to bleed in the alley. I don’t know where everyone else went but there was nobody else with me. I was lying there for what seemed like hours in so much pain. All I felt was pain and all I could hear was the gunshots echoing in my skull. A lady found me and managed to get me to a hospital, I was in there for weeks.”

“Oh no, Thomas.” Pat gasped.

Thomas froze as he noticed Pat was there. He let out a cry and buried his head in his hands.

“Thomas, it’s okay.” Pat said, kneeling down in front of Thomas. “It helps to talk about things like this. Is this also what was bothering you a paintballing?”

“I don’t want to think about it.” Thomas groaned into his hands.

“Hopefully talking about it will help you.” Pat said gently.

Thomas raised his head and hummed. His eyes were glazed over and his hands were trembling.

“Come on, let’s get you to the bathroom, then we can go back to the basement.” Pat said. “It’s quiet and warm down there, it’s better than up here.”

Thomas nodded and Pat held out his hand. Thomas looked at it for a moment before taking it. Pat pulled Thomas up and waved back at Cap as he led Thomas upstairs.

Cap sighed and stood back up, his knees cracking in protest. There was a faint boom and Cap flinched. Ah, yes, the fireworks.

Cap decided he had been upstairs for too long and made his way back down to the basement.

“How’s Thomas?” Kitty asked as soon as Cap entered the basement.

“Settle down, Katherine.” Cap said. “Don’t go badgering him when he comes back down.”

“Is he okay though?” Mary asked.

“Yes, yes, he’s getting there.” Cap said. “Patrick’s looking after him now.”“Oh, Pat is good at that.” Mary said. “Looking after people.”

“Do you think Pat will need any help?” Kitty asked, looking like she was ready to get up and start running to find them.

“I think Patrick will be fine.” Cap said. He took a seat back next to Adam, who settled an arm around him.

“How are you?” Adam asked.

“I’m fine, I’m good.” Cap said. “I do feel bad for Thomas.” He added quietly.

“Whatever it is, I’m sure we can all help.” Adam said.

“Yes, I’m sure we can.” Cap muttered.

It was much longer when Pat came back into the basement, Thomas trailing behind him.

“Thomas, come sit over here.” Kitty said as soon as he entered the basement.

Thomas smiled weakly and Pat patted his shoulder. Thomas shuffled over to Kitty and sat down next to her. She threw a blanket over his shoulders and then herself as she hugged him.

“I hope you feel better tomorrow, Thomas.” Kitty said. “Oh! And you too, Cap.”

“Thank you, Katherine.” Cap said, settling back further into Adam’s arms. “I hope we do too.”

Chapter Text

It was fine, it was okay, everyone was going to turn up on time. 

He wheeled his suitcase through the empty train station, Adam next to him, texting away.

“What if they don’t show up in time and miss the train?” Cap asked.

“It’s okay, Cap.” Adam said, looking up from his phone. “They can just get the next one and meet us at the airport. But that won’t need to happen, because they’re going to turn up for the train.”

Cap hummed and scanned the train station, looking for the others.

“We’ve got about half an hour before the train leaves, they’ll be here.” Adam reassured Cap.

They stopped at the gates to the platforms and Cap drummed the gates as he tried to find the others. He had been at several cons before but he had never been this anxious before even setting off on the train.

Oh God, now Cap remembered why he didn’t want to come this. He had never actually told anyone he’d been to cons before and he really didn’t want the others to know. Pat had been so excited when he had suggested it that Cap couldn’t find it in him to refuse. They had arranged it nearly a month ago, Cap wondered what the state of everyone’s cosplays would be like with such short notice.

The last time Cap had been to a Con was almost a year ago and to say that his cosplay Instagram was quiet is an understatement.

Still, it didn’t take long until Mary and… Robin? came rolling up to them.

“It’s too early for this, Adam.” Mary muttered, sitting down on her suitcase. “Usually when we go, we go on the Friday instead of Saturday morning.”

“Too late for me.” The man who Cap thought was Robin said. He sounded like Robin too. But surely this strange, beardless, shorter-haired man couldn’t be Robin.

The fake-Robin suddenly squinted at Cap.

“That Cap?” Fake-Robin grunted.

Mary looked up and jumped suddenly.

“Cap?” She croaked.

“Yes, it’s me, I just shaved my moustache.” Cap sighed. “You’re one to talk.” He said, jerking his head towards fake-Robin.

“Oh, did it last night, didn’t have to cut hair but needed to anyway.” Fake-Robin said. “Colleagues don’t like it.”

“No, I don’t like it either.” Cap muttered. Fake-Robin looked wrong, all he needed to do was comb his hair and he could look like an entirely different person.

“Yours’ll grow back quick. Always does.” Mary said, looking up at fake-Robin.

“Be back to normal next week, Julian thought I looked funny though.” Fake-Robin said, grinned. Okay, perhaps he shouldn’t call Fake-Robin Fake-Robin anymore, this was definitely Robin, nobody else would bring Julian into the conversation except for Robin (and maybe Margot now).

Also, only a week for the beard to grow back? God Cap wishes that were him.

“Are yous sure yous be Cap?” Mary asked, eyeing Cap suspiciously. “If you really be Cap, what did Is says Is did for work?”

“Freelance at the University, wasn’t it.” Cap said.

Mary hummed and Cap shook his head.

“Did you say that you’ve been to cons before?” Adam asked.

Both Mary and Robin nodded.

“Been going to them for years.” Mary said.

“Would be going to this one even if the group didn’t.” Robin said.

Oh God, have they? Cap gulped as he heard them say that. What if they already knew he was a cosplayer, his Insta page was pretty popular.

“I’m going to grab a coffee.” Cap muttered as the cold draft blew through the train station.

“No problem, Cap.” Adam said. “I’ll grab one too. Either of you want anything?”

When Mary and Robin shook their heads, the two set off to Costa.

They ended up getting a coffee from a tired look barista (it was 5:19AM, there’s no wonder they looked tired). Whilst Adam was buying his Cap quickly opened his Instagram and immediately went to his cosplay page and searched his followers… no… they didn’t seem to be following him… or at least, their current profiles weren’t following him. Once Adam had successfully achieved his coffee, the two slowly made their way back to the station and were pleased to see the rest of the group there. Fanny seemed to have done her hair already. She seemed to be the only person who got away without wearing a wig.

“See, I told you they’d be here.” Adam said.

“That you did.” Cap said. He smiled at Adam and lent across to kiss Adam’s cheek.

It was then they heard a sudden, loud gasp.

“Adam, you’re not with Cap anymore?” Kitty practically shouted.

The others of the group started to shout between each other.

“Adam, what do you mean?”

“How could you do that, Adam?”

“Where is Cap then? He said he was coming.”

“What?” Cap snapped. “No, I’m Cap.”

“No you’re not.” Kitty said. “Cap has a moustache.”

“Stop lying about being Cap.” Thomas said. “We know you’re not.”

“Yes, I am, I’ve shaved my moustache.” Cap said.

“Are we sure this is Cap?” Alison asked, grinning fiendishly. “Would you bet on it, Kitty?”

“No, I wouldn’t!” Kitty gasped. “Cause that’s not Cap.”

“I think I am.” Cap said.

“If yous be Cap, then what ride did me, Mike and Julian go on first at the fair?” Mary asked.

“Can you quit asking me stuff.” Cap sighed.

“Nope. What was it?”

“No, you’re not.” Pat said, struggling not to laugh. “You’re not Cap.”

“Yes I am!” Cap said. He pointed at Robin. “Who’s that then?”

“Well, that’s clearly Robin.” Kitty said.

“And who am I?” Cap said, pointing at himself.

“Oh, I don’t know, hi, I’m Kitty.” Kitty said, holding her hand out excitedly.

Cap groaned and dropped his head onto Adam’s shoulder.

The train eventually pulled up, just as Cap was managing to convince Kitty that he was in fact Cap.

They shoved their luggage into the luggage rack and went off to find seats. That was pretty easy, the train was fairly empty.

“Why do you keep making me wake up so early, Cap?” Julian grumbled. “Stop doing this to me, Cap, I don’t like it.” Julian prodded Cap’s back to keep him moving. Cap shuffled away from the table he was eyeing which Julian snapped up as soon as Cap was clear.

“Here, Margot, if you’d like.” Julian said, gesturing to the table.

“Mmm, okay, but I’ll have the aisle seat.” Cap heard Margot say.

“Okay, that’s not a prob- THOMAS!” Julian cried.

Cap glanced back to see Thomas sat in the window seat, now in the middle of arguing with Julian.

“Let’s just go here.” Adam muttered, taking a seat just adjacent from the table.

Some other passengers tried to weave past them, causing Pat to dart into the seat opposite Thomas and pushing past Julian, forcing him into the seat besides Thomas.

“I’ll just pop here.” Margot muttered, taking the seat next to Pat.

Cap saw Julian grumble and crossed his arms as every settled in their seats.

The train set off and everyone was pretty quiet. Adam even fell asleep on Cap’s shoulder.

From Cap’s position he had a clear look of Julian, who seemed to calm down quickly and instead was smiling gently towards who Cap assumed was Margot. Cap could also hear Kitty and Mary talking quietly behind him and Mike talking about how excited he was to meet Mads Mikkelsen and, eventually, as the train headed south, Margot switching between talking with Pat and leaning across the aisle to talk quietly to Robin in what Cap had recently discovered was Ukrainian.

It was as they transferred to a new train (and Julian was pleased to discover that he could sit next to Margot) and everyone was much more awake everyone started to prep for their cosplays.

“Come on, Cap.” Adam said. “You’ve got to say the line. Come on, let’s get into character. Say the line.”

Cap sighed and crossed his arms. He had done this a lot, did he really need to do it again.

“Fine,” he grumbled. “I’m glad you’re here with me. Here at the end of all things.”

“Oh come on, with feeling.” Adam said, laughing. He then paused and his head suddenly shot up to look at Cap, his voice dripping with overwhelming determination. “I can’t carry it for you, but I can carry you!”

“I’m not doing it on the train.” Cap bristled, trying to ignore how his heart clenched as he watched Adam.

Eventually they arrived at their destination, or at least, according to the large array of cosplayers mulling around, they believed they were at their destination. And it was only 9:30am. They made great time. Judging by how much makeup everyone had done on the train they might only take another hour to get ready.

“So where do we go? Where can we get changed?” Fanny asked.

“Well there should be changing rooms around-” Pat started but Cap cut him off.

“Find a corner and start getting ready there. Changing clothes? Go to the bathroom. Come on, there’s a corner over there by the bear, let’s grab it before it goes.” Cap clapped his hand and ushered them all to the bear statue.

“So we’re just getting ready in the corridor?” Alison asked.

“Yeah, if we don’t have a hotel room.” Mary said.

Alison shrugged. “Okay then.” She opened her suitcase and dragged her stuff out.

They had barely been getting ready for 10 minutes when a train guard hurried by.

“Oh, who are you doing?” They asked, stopping before they left through the door.

“Lord of the Rings.” Pat said beaming.

“I bet you’re all going to be great.” The guard said before disappearing.

Only another 10 minutes had passed, in which Cap had been and changed in the toilets and was just sorting his wig out from being squished in the bag did the guard come back out of the door.

“Done at all?” The guard asked.

“The hobbits are.” Alison said, eyeing Cap, Adam, Robin and Julian with envy. “They’re the easiest.”

“I’ll leave you to it then.” The guard smiled and scurried off again.

“I need to get changed.” Margot muttered, staring at the chain mail armour in front of her. Cap had since learnt, on the train ride over, that she and Robin had spent quite a lot of evenings making matching Rohan armour for Eowyn and Merry, which went a long way to explaining why they barely showed up for any meetings. They also got Adam to help a lot. Which also explains where he disappeared to. It was quite impressive, especially with all of their time constrains. (Julian, however, was once again annoyed to find that out. All that time he could have spent hanging out with Margot if he knew to ask if they needed any more help).

“I need to change too,” Kitty said excitedly. “I’ll come with you.”

It had gotten to the stage where everyone was ready to don their costumes, and with that, they stored away their makeup and ditched their suitcases with the hobbits.

“Did you get that commissioned, Cap?” Julian asked, looking Cap’s Frodo costume up and down.

“No.” Cap answered, without thinking.

“Is it from an online store?”

“No.” Cap answered, once again, without thinking.

“A real-life store? Second hand?”

“No to both.” Cap really should have thought about that before answering.

“Because it looks really good.”

“Thanks, it only took me 19 hours, it’s no big deal.” …

THINK!

BEFORE YOU!

SPEAK!

“It ‘took you 19 hours’?” Julian gasped. “Cap, did you make it?”

“...” Cap shifted to look in between the other hobbits. “... No…”

“Oh really?” Julian lent forward and grinned. “Then, Cap, tell me this. Where did you get the costume from?”

Cap gazed at Julian for all of 5 seconds, before scowling. “Shut up.” He snapped.

“Would you rather I talk about you lack of mustache instead?” Julian asked.

“You were the one who suggested I shave, so then I wouldn’t have to cover it and risk ripping it off later.” Cap said.

“Yeah I did, but you still look dumb.”

“Hi.” Oh, look, the guard was back, quick, please, everyone pay attention to them. “Everyone else left you?”

Adam shrugged. “We hobbits always have to make our own way.”

The guard laughed. “That you do.” And then they disappeared again.

“Speaking of making our own way, Frodo, is the ring secure?” Julian asked.

“The ring?” Cap asked blankly, before his eyes widened and he frantically patted his pockets. “The ring!”

“The ring?!” Julian cried. “The ring! Do you not have the ring?”

“The ring!”

“We went all this way, and you don’t even have the ring!”

“We gotta go back for ring?” Robin asked.

“We came all this way to destroy it and you don’t even have it.” Julian whined.

“Don’t worry, I have it.” Adam said, pulling the ring out of his bag. “Here you go.” He handed the ring to Cap and Julian laughed.

“Oh, that is almost romantic.” He said.

“If it wasn’t an evil ring.” Robin muttered.

“Yeah, if it wasn’t the soul of war criminal.” Julian said.

Eventually the others reappeared and Alison and Pat sat around their suitcases as they started to apply the beards.

“It’s so heavy.” Alison moaned.

“And so long.” Pat muttered, having to stand up whilst putting his on. Pat had decided to do Gandalf the Grey in the end, after spending nearly a week trying to decide between Gandalf the Grey and Gandalf the White.

“No no no, can’t I just keep my own hair, I don’t like the wig.” Came Margot’s voice suddenly.

“Come on, Margot. Eowyn doesn’t have short black hair.” Adam said.

“But it’s under the helmet.” Margot whined.

“I’m wearing wig.” Robin said. “And helmet over.”

Margot grumbled. “Fine. Help me put it on.”“I’ll help you put it on.” Julian said.

“I’d rather people who have put them on before helping me.” Margot said, handing the wig to Adam.

“Hey, you’re all back.” The guard popped back up again just as the others were finishing up their final pieces of makeup. “Wow, all off to save Middle Earth, right?”

“We have a long journey ahead, but I’m sure our ringbearer can succeed.” Pat said, in a deep ‘Gandalf’ voice.

“I’m sure Frodo can save us all.” The guard said. Then they frowned as they looked at the others. “Who are you meant to be, sorry.” The asked, looking at Thomas.

“He’s Jolkien Rolkien Rolkien Tolkien.” Mike said.

“Of course!” The guard gasped. “Thanks Faramir, I get it now. Well, you all look great, I hope you have a good time today.”

“Thanks, you too.” Cap said, nodding to the guard.

The guard beamed and before they left the patted Humphrey on the shoulder. “I’m sorry for the thing which will happen to you.”

“What do you mean? I’m going to survive this and not be killed by Uruk-hai, thank you.” Humphrey said, crossing his arms.

The guard laughed and waved at the them before finally disappearing.

“Right, come on, let’s go, otherwise we’ll have to leave by the time we get in.” Cap said, clapping his hands.

They set off from the train station and started across the Skywalk, occasionally with one of the others pausing to take selfies. As they were half way across Kitty gasped.

“I didn’t expect them!” She said, pointing at a couple of cosplayers hurrying back towards the train station dressed as the Spanish Inquisition.

As the cosplayers disappeared into the crowd Cap heard one of them practically shout to the other, “see, I told you people would get it.”

So, a quick run down on who everyone decided on.

Cap was doing Frodo.

Adam was doing Sam (and had been preparing potato meals for a week straight).

Julian was (despite his wishes) doing Pippin.

Robin was doing Merry.

Mary was doing Aragorn (who both Cap and Julian had initially wanted to do).

Kitty was doing Legolas.

Alison was doing Gimli (who she had snapped up).

Humphrey was doing Boromir.

Pat was doing Gandalf.

Fanny was doing Galadriel (the only way they could get her to come).

Mike was doing Faramir.

Thomas was doing J.R.R. Tolkien himself.

And Margot was doing Eowyn (also the only way they could get her to come).

They eventually made it to the halls and quickly joined the queue for the tickets.

“Hey look, Hawke and Isobela!” Alison said excitedly.

“Have you seen that Negan, he looks almost identical to the actor.”

“Miku!”

Eventually they got into the con and stored their suitcases in the cloakroom (left of the entrance to Hall 11) and took one step towards the halls when they heard a gasp.

“Oh my God, excuse me, can I have a photo, please.”

Cap peered back to see a… Love Life (?) cosplayer standing by the them.

“Yeah, everyone, places.” Mary said suddenly, pushing everyone in space.

Cap waved and the cosplayer gasped again and, shoving their phone into their friends hands, darted to take place in the middle of the group. Their friend snapped a couple of photos and nodded.

“Thank you, you all look amazing!” The cosplayer said before darting back off to their friend.

They all continued to weave through the crowd and Mary suddenly waved and led them over to a person with a camera. Cap recognises them. That was not a good thing.

“Lord of the Rings!” The person cried. “Mary, you got such a large group together.”

“I just wondered if you’d like to use us for anything.” Mary said.

“Completely.” The person said. “Hi, I’m Owl, I’m putting together a music video. Do you mind if you’re in it?”

Owl. Cap knew who she was. She’d filmed him before. Great.

The group eventually agreed and Owl smiled.

“Super, follow me, there’s some quiet parts around here.”

Owl then led them through the halls, through the ticket barriers (they all stopped to get their hands stamped) and into a quiet corridor.

“You know,” Owl asked Cap as they were walking. “Have we met before, I’m certain I recognise you.”

HMM.

“Yes.” Cap muttered quietly. “Though it’s been ages since I’ve been to one.” He said in a even quieter voice.

“Ah, okay.” Owl grinned.

They all stopped at the corridor and Owl motioned in a circle.

“Right, okay,” Owl said. “Can I start with Gandalf and Galadriel, cross across to the Hunters Three, can I have Rohan and Gondor back-to-back, I’ll do a spin around, go to Boromir, pan across to Frodo and Sam and- that’s a manuscript of the Hobbit isn’t it?”

“Yes it is.” Thomas said, raising the copy of the Hobbit manuscript up.

“Super, then I’ll end of Tolkien.” Owl finished.

“What do you want us to do?” Pat asked.

“Just stand there, mainly. Could I have Gandalf and Galadriel hold hands and start facing each other then turn towards me. Rohan, could you two brandish your swords and stuff, Sam can I have to put a hand on Frodo’s shoulder, Frodo can you touch the ring, and Tolkien, could you pretend to write in the Hobbit. Everyone else just stand there and do whatever you feel comfortable doing. Even if it’s just standing there and staring that’ll be good too.” Owl instructed. She fiddled with her camera as everyone got into position, ending up in the large circle.

“Okay, that’s all great.” Owl said, smiling. She positioned herself in front of Pat and Fanny. “Okay, in 3, 2, 1- holding hands, and now turn to the camera. Okay now hunters- good- Rohan. And the swords, now Gondor- yeap, Boromir- excellent, Sam and Frodo, touch the ring- Sam the hand- great, now Tolkien, writing the Hobbit and okay we’re good!” Owl looked up from her camera. “That’s great, thanks guys, you all looked fantastic in that.”

“How manys are you trying to catch today?” Mary asked as the circle disbanded.

“As many as I can get, excluding you guys I’ve gotten 7 so far, but still the morning, I’m sure I’ll run into everyone else soon enough.” Owl beamed again. “Thanks for your time, I’ll let you all go now.”

The group waved and set back off to the con.

“Well that was interesting.” Alison said.

“You get lot of them.” Robin said. “Always fun to do. Especially if trust them.”

“I’ll link you all when she uploads it.” Mary said.

They made their way out of the empty corridor and back into the main halls.

“Oh my- look, it’s Chewy!” Kitty gasped.

“Chewy!”

“It’s Chewy!”

The group practically rushed over to the Chewy, Mary and Robin hanging back besides Cap.

“He’s always here.” Mary said. “We’ve seen him a lot.”

Cap hummed. He knew. He had seen a least 1 Chewy per con. Usually more.

Once they had all got their Chewy fill they all drifted back to the others.

“Didn’t you want to see Chewy?” Alison asked.

“Seem Chewy a lot before.” Robin said.

“And what about you, Cap?” Julian asked. “Surely you want to see Chewy, never seen Chewy before have you.”

Even though Cap was sure Julian didn’t even have an inkling Cap had been to cons before, Cap was sure he was testing him.

“I didn’t want to keep the cosplayer for too long.” Cap said. Yes. That’ll do.

“Excuse me,” came a sudden voice. “Could I please have a photo with all you guys?” A Rapunzel cosplayer was grinning excitedly at them.

“Of course, come in.” Pat said.

Everyone positioned around Rapunzel and their friends took some photos. And so did some other people who Cap guessed was not with Rapunzel.

“Thank youuuu.” Rapunzel cheered before shooting back off to their friends.

The group barely managed to disband before somebody else came up to ask them for a photo. Then somebody else. Then somebody else.

All in all, it took them nearly 10 minutes before they managed to get out of taking photos with people.

“If everyone wants to split up and go look around, feel free to.” Cap said quickly, before anyone else came up to them. “I’ll be hanging around out here for a bit.” He hoped they all left, there were some people who he wanted to find.

Slowly nearly everyone drifted off in dribs and drabs, both Margot and Fanny looked very out of their depth. Pat seemed to vaguely know his way around a con and so Margot had seemed to attach herself to him, letting him guide her into the halls.

Eventually he was only left with Adam, Robin and Mary.

“Are you to heading off?” Cap asked Robin and Mary.

“In a bit.” Mary said.

“Want to see people.” Robin added.

“Oh, right.” Cap muttered. What if they’re the same people?

Adam tapped Cap’s shoulder and jangled his phone in front of Cap’s face.

“Take a selfie with me.” He said.

Cap nodded and Adam snapped a photo.

“Hey.” Came another voice.

There was an Iron Man stood, hands resting on Mary’s and Robin’s shoulders.

“If I move too quickly something is going to break.” Iron Man said. The helmet opened and the person grinned. “So if anyone wants me to rush anywhere I will die.”

“Diane, it works!” Mary gasped.

“It all works.” Robin said, stepping back to look at the suit.

“I never want to work with electrics again, it took me 103 hours to make this and I swear 60 of them was just learning how to do electrics.” Diane said. “You two look great by the way. And look, there’s Sam and Frodo over there.”

“We came with them, we’ve gots a big Lord of the Rings group but most of them have wandered off.” Mary said.

“Oh, nice! I’ve seen some more Avengers wandering around but they’re all walking to quick for me to catch for a photo and- oh my god!” Diane raised a hand to their mouth before raising it back up. “Sorry, sorry.” They were looking at Cap. This wasn’t good. “But it’s just, are you aug.cos?”

NOT GOOD NOT GOOD NOT GOOD.

“Aug.cos?” Both Mary and Robin squinted at Cap before they both suddenly gasped.

“Cap, you’re aug.cos?” Robin asked.

Mary raised her phone and laughed. “You are.”

“No I’m not.” Cap tried to say.

Adam peered at Mary’s phone and his face suddenly broke into a smile.

“That’s definitely you.” Adam said. “You look really good as Captain America.”

“I think Jotaro is good.” Robin said.

“Wait a minute, is that John Wick?” Adam asked.

“That was a costest.” Cap muttered. He sighed and threw his arms open. “I think I much more preferred it when you couldn’t tell who I was because I shaved. Fine, you got me, I’m aug.cos. Don’t tell Julian though.”

“Don’t worry, we won’ts.” Mary said.

“Come on, let’s grab a photo.” Diane said. “Somebody else needs to take it, I can’t control my phone wearing this.”

Cap ended up being assigned selfie-taker, as he had the longest arms out of all of them.

“Thanks,” Diane said. “You’ll have to send it to me. Oh! Gotta go, I see a Thor hanging around Starbucks.” And with that, Diane’s helmet snapped shut and they went shuffling off in the direction of Starbucks.

“Come on, Cap, update your Insta.” Robin said.

Cap grumbled as he glared at Robin. “Fine.” He stepped away from the others and managed to lean against the wall. He snapped several selfies before wandering back to the others.

“If you want me to upload, I’m going to sit down and edit.” Cap said. “Come back to the wall with me.”

They followed him to the wall where Cap plonked down and opened his editing app.

“Mary!” Came another voice. Some more cosplayers came strolling over. “You look great. Oh, Robin, so do you!”

Cap shook his head and ignored the group as he edited his selected selfie. By the time the group had left, Cap had finished.

“Here, how does this look?” Cap asked, showing his edited selfie to Adam.

“Mmm, that looks very nice.” Adam said. “Upload that.”

Cap opened his Instagram and carefully posted the photo.

“Happy now?” Cap asked Mary and Robin.

Both of them beamed and nodded. They glanced at their phones and about a minute later they shot Cap a grin. Cap rolled his eyes as his phone dinged with Instagram notifications.

“Shut up you two.” He snapped and they both laughed.

The four continued to sit there for a bit as other people came up to them and say hi. It wasn’t long until one of the others found them. This one being Mike (Alison was shortly behind him).

“I can’t believe it.” Mike said, stomping up to them. “I forgot my money. I let it in my wallet and my wallet is at home. I have £25 on me. That’s not enough to meet Mads Mikkelsen.”

“Oh, I hate to break it to you.” Said a Yuri Katsuki cosplayer. “Mads hasn’t turned up. His plane got cancelled so he isn’t able to attend.”

Mike groaned and dropped his head onto Alison’s shoulder.

“Your armours hard.” He muttered quietly. Alison huffed in laughter and reached up to stroke Mike’s head.

“I’m going to head inside.” Cap muttered, stretching as he stood up.

The others agreed and together they all started to head inside.

They slowly made their way across the halls, stopping at stalls when they could, buying some art when it caught their eye.

Eventually they came across the rest of the group.

“I thought Comic Con was meant for comic characters anyway.” Margot said immediately. “I’ve seen somebody dressed as Beyonce.”

“Yeah, she’s always here.” Mary said.

Together they all slowly moved down the aisles, stopping to look at the stalls, occasionally being stopped for photos.

One of the stall owners gasped as they told them how much they loved their costumes. Somehow Julian got into a conversation with them and tried to lean over, grinning as he chatted with them. And proceeded to say the completely incorrect information regarding Lord of the Rings.

Cap sighed and shook his head as he listened to Julian confidently say the entirely wrong things. He caught sight of Margot staring at Julian, shaking her head slightly as she listened to Julian talk. She glanced across at Robin who burst into laughter and started to talk rapidly to Margot in Ukrainian. A brief smile crossed her face as she continued to watch Julian make a fool out of himself.

Finally, after Julian had finished making a fool of himself, they carried on until they found their way forward blocked by an Eomer cosplay.

“Hi,” Eomer said. “Can I borrow Eowyn.”

“What for?” Margot asked, crossing her arms.

“I was just going to go into the big snow globe and I saw you guys and thought that would be a great photo the two of us together.” Eomer said.

Margot hummed and glanced over at the snow globe. “Okay.” She said.

The two then took off to the big snow globe and Julian spluttered.

“Who are they, does she know who they are?”

“It’s fine, Julian.” Cap said. He walked forward and positioned himself next to the staff. He opened his phone and as soon as the two were in position he started to snap photos. Margot suddenly leant forward and pressed something and confetti suddenly burst around them. Cap continued to snap photos until the confetti stopped and the two stumbled out of the snowglobe.

“You have confetti on you.” Cap Margot as Eomer took their phone back from the staff.

“Could I also grab a photo with all of you?” Eomer asked.

“Of course, we’re missing an Eomer.” Cap said. He waved them over to the rest of the group who quickly gathered into positions. Eomer handed their phone back to the willing staff member and quickly darted into the middle of the group. The staff member took the photo and handed the phone back to Eomer.

“Thank you!” They said. “Do any of you have an Instagram, I can send it over to you.”

“Yeah, you can to me.” Mary said, stepping forward. As the two worked on that someone suddenly came running towards them.

“Oh my God, Steve!” They said, stopping just before Cap. Oh God, Cap definitely recognised them. “It’s great to see you, I didn’t know you’d be here.”

“Oh, yeah, just decided on it.” Cap said, desperately trying to remember who they were. Everyone was absolutely staring at him now.

“Can I grab a photo?” They asked.

“Sure.” Cap muttered.

They opened their camera and quickly snapped a selfie. “You really look great.” They said.

“You too.” Cap said, waving as they disappeared back into the crowd. “I have no idea who that is.” He then muttered to Adam.

“Got it.” Mary suddenly announced. “Photos take so long to come in.”

“I’ve gotta hop off, but you all look amazing.” Eomer said. They waved and disappeared much like the others did.

“Is anyone else starving?” Alison asked. “‘Cause I am.”

They all agreed and decided to make their way outside to the food stalls. As they were making their way Julian appeared by Cap’s side.

“Why’d that person call you Steve?” He asked. “I know you’re not called Steve, I’ve seen your driving licence, your passport AND your birth certificate. Your name’s not Steve.”

Cap shrugged. “I’m not entirely sure I know who they are, so they might have gotten the wrong person.” Yeah, let’s go with that, there was no way he was going to tell Julian people occasionally call him Steve because he cosplays Captain America.

They made it out to the stalls and bought their food. They managed to get a table in the corner of the courtyard.

For SOME REASON, God knows why, Humphrey had bought an ear of corn.

“Why did you buy that?” Fanny asked.

“What do you mean?” Humphrey said. “Don’t you like the corn?”

“I want to know what made you buy it.”

“To eat, I’m assuming.” Thomas muttered.

Humphrey gasped and cradled the corn. “I would never!”

“Don’t even consider eating the corn! Mike said. “The corn is life!”

“The corn is to be treasured!” Pat said.

“Corn is god!” Robin said.

“And Cap’s disappearing mustache is Jesus,” Mary said. “Set to come back in three days.”

“Three days?” Julian barked with laughter. “Try three months.”

“Julian!” Cap spluttered but the conversation was quickly taken back over by Humphrey, banging his fists on the table.

“Corn is God. Corn is God. Corn is God. Corn is God.” He chanted.

“Corn is God. Corn is God. Corn is God.” Everyone else quickly followed suite.

The table rattled under the force of the banging and the corn was placed in the middle of it all.

“What should we do next?” Alison asked as the chantign subsided.

“We should consult the corn about what we do.” Pat said. He leant forward and spoke to the corn. “O Corn, O Corn, what shall we do next?” He then turned to ‘listen’ to it, humming and nodding as he did so.

“The corn has spoken.” Pat said, sitting back in his seat. “We should find a blank background and take photos with the Corn.

“I have utensils to hold the corn on.” Adam said, picking up his backpack were it jangled with the pots and pans he had detailed his costume with.

“As long as that isn’t a premonition of things to come.” Humphrey said, taking back the corn and cradling it in his arms.

“Don’t worry,” Adam said. “I have no intention of eating our new God.”

“Praise be to him.” Mike muttered.

They eventually finished their food and tried to leave the courtyard.

This was hindered by Thomas gasping.

“I can’t believe him!” Thomas cried. “He stole my idea!”

Cap looked over to see a group of Chronicles of Narnia cosplayers.

“I don’t get it, Thomas.” Fanny said, crossing her arms.

“Byron stole my idea!” Thomas cried again. “I told him I was doing J.R.R. Tolkien along with a Lord of the Rings group, so he decided to do a C.S. Lewis cosplay along with a Narnia group!”

Cap looked again. There, in fact seemed to be someone dressed as what Cap could assume was C.S. Lewis. Not that he knew what C.S. Lewis looked like.

“I’m going over,” Thomas said, squaring up. “Go over and-”

“No, Thomas, we not be doing Con drama today.” Mary said, grabbing hold of Thomas and practically dragging him away, the rest of the group following along. “Wes can just forget we saw that.”

“But he stole-”

“No, Thomas!”

“Where can we go with a blank background?” Margot asked loudly, diverting attention from Thomas and back onto the groups quest at hand. She was fiddling with her helmet, which she still hasn’t put back on. “Can I leave the helmet off until we get there?”

“Sure,” Cap said. “I think there’s some spaces with good backgrounds back where we filmed. Let’s go check over there.”

The made their way back over (stopping every now and then by people asking them for photos) and soon found something which would be used as a good blank background if they angled their camera in a specific way.

“Fanny would you like to go first?” Cap asked.

Fanny nodded and stood against the background. She had made the dress completely from scratch and Cap knew she had been good at sewing but this was something else. The intricate detail on the dress highlighted the care and attention which has been put into it. For someone who didn’t want to come, this must have been a lot of effort. Cap had a sneaking suspicion she was going to wear this as a regular dress too.

They got through everyone fairly sharpish and were about to leave when a man with a camera bag appeared, tapping Mary on the shoulder.

Oh. Cap knew who he was too.

A very good photographer was who he was.

“I’m impressed you managed to get the whole group together.” The man said. Cap was pretty sure his name was Dane.

“I was hard believe me.” Mary muttered.

“Could I grab some photos?” He asked.

Mary nodded. Then she said to an aside to the rest of the group. “This is Dane, he’s a better photographer than all of us combined.”

Humphrey was lingering in the spot they were using and Dane smiled.

“Okay, Boromir, just hold there.” He then rifled in his bag and pulled out a camera and a light. “Here Mary, help out.” He activated the light and passed it to Mary. “Pose, Boromir.” Dane then said and snapped a couple of shots, telling Mary to point the light in different directions at times.

“Nice.” Dane said. He then glanced at Cap. “Come on, let’s get Frodo in there, let’s start up some fighting for the Ring.”

Adam pushed Cap forward and Dane directed both Cap and Humphrey into a pose.

“Turn the Ring a little, please.” Dane said. “We can’t see it too well right now.”

Cap twisted the Ring a bit and after an “excellent” from Dane, the photos continued.

“Now just a couple of Frodo.” Dane said.

Cap posed until Dane asked for another pose.

Once they had been taken Dane managed to get Adam in. He snapped a few photos of the two of them before Cap stepped away so Adam could get some photos by himself.

He fell back to the rest of the group to hear Robin talking. “Dane’s good. He uploads everything. Get the photos by tomorrow.”

Julian, meanwhile, was helping Margot put her helmet on. He smoothed down her wig as she slipped it on.

“Thanks, Julian.” Margot muttered, not quite looking at him.

“You’re welcome.” Julian said, smiling softly.

They slowly made their way through everyone, Cap taking over from the lighting duty whilst Mary has having photos. Cap was pretty sure Dane didn’t recognise him, but apparently Robin, the only other person Dane knew, could not be trusted with the lights. So it fell to Cap.

Once Dane had photographed everyone at least individually (or in duo which was easy to switch between individual shots) did he start to get others together.

He got all the Fellowship together (Fanny now on lighting duties) and then all the Hobbits. He kept switching between them all before finally landing on Margot.

“Eowyn, could I have a couple of shots with you and Aragorn?”

Mary passed the light back to Cap and went to join Margot.

“I wanted to be Aragorn.” Julian grunted to Cap.

“So did I, but Mary called him first.” Cap grunted back.

“Okay, Frodo ready the light. And pose for me.”

He took the photo.

“And now how about with Faramir?”

Mary took the light back as Mike replaced her.

“I wanted to be Faramir too.”

“Hush, Julian.”

Soon after Dane called for Robin to come up.

“And I wanted to be Merry.” Julian sighed. He stared at Margot and Robin. “Look at them, they both look so good, they’ve got cute little matching outfits. I wanted in on that.”

“I swear to God, Julian, shut up.”

Eventually Dane finished the photos and said a quick ‘goodbye’ before he had to run off.

“But we’ve forgotten a photo of the most important member of our group.” Humphrey said. Then he lifted the corn up. “The corn!”

“The corn!” Everyone shouted.

Cap smiled and shook his head. He opened his phone again and started to snap some photos as everyone gathered around the corn.

“The corn.” The praised. Humphrey lifted the corn up and everyone started to cheer around it. Eventually it was pushed into Cap’s hand and he grinned weakly as Adam took some photos.

They stopped after at least 20 photos.

“And now the next set of photos.” Adam said, grinning. “The lack of moustache!” He pointed at Cap and everyone started to chant ‘moustache’ much to Cap’s chagrin.

“I am exhausted.” Alison said, yawning as they all settled down.

“Our train back is in 2 hours,” Cap muttered. “We should head back to the train station in an hour to get out of costume and grab some food.” Then he said louder to the group. “We’ve got an hour free so if you wanted to go off again feel free to do so, but we’ll meet at the cloakroom and head back to the station once we’ve got our stuff.”

Everyone once again drifted off and Cap and Adam took once last whirl around the con, stopping for people when asked and stopping to take a couple of selfies themselves. At one point they saw Julian and Margot being stopped for a photo (or rather, asked Margot for a photo) and the person who asked them somehow dragged Robin out of nowhere for a photo of Eowyn and Merry together.

Soon the hour ran out and they returned to the cloakroom. A few of the group were already in the queue to reclaim their bags and after 5 minutes the other people (Julian, Robin and Margot) came rocking up.

“I swear I have just seen somebody with what must have been £300 worth of stuff.” Julian moaned to Cap, dropping his head on Cap’s shoulder.

“People do go a bit crazy at these.” Adam said. “I used to go to them when I was younger, thought I think the most I ever spent was £128.”

“£128?” Julian hummed. “That could have gone to the Julian-Fund.”

“I already spent £20 on the ‘Julian-Fund’ getting you in the con.” Cap said.

“And Robin added £92 on my train tickets so all I need is £16 and it’s all sorted.” Julian said, grinning.

Cap sighed and took a step in the queue.

Soon they all got their luggage and started to head back to the train station. When they got there they were all excited to learn their corner was still free.

As they were all preparing to get back into their regular clothes Cap noticed Robin and Margot talking quietly, both with their helmets off. They had been doing that a lot recently. Often in Ukrainian, which Cap was hesitant to admit he was not skilled enough to know.

Robin nudged Margot before pushing her forward as she tried to shake her head.

Margot stumbled into Julian.

“Oh, Julian.” Margot said, rather loudly. “I was just wondering, we haven’t got a photo together but I have a photo with everyone else. I was just- would you like to get a selfie?”

Julian stared at her for a moment or so, a slight brush spreading across his face. “Okay.” He eventually choked out.

Margot stepped next to Julian and pressed up against his side. Julian placed his arm around her shoulders as she gave him her phone to take the photo on. Cap watched as they took a few photos, gradually getting closer as they did.

Eventually they broke apart and Margot beamed and waved her hand. Cap frowned slightly at what she was doing before he realised it was aimed at Robin. When Robin shook his head, Margot detangled from Julian and practically dragged Robin over. She pushed Robin into Julian and retook her place pressed into Julian’s other side and the phone from his hands. Julian was frozen for a few seconds before slowly putting his arms back around Margot and resting his other one around Robin’s. Margot took a few more photos before beaming again.

“Good, now I’m getting out of this wig.” Margot said, stepping away and over to her bag.

Everyone finally got back into their normal clothes (Humphrey seemingly taking special care of packing away the corn in several layers of tissue) and headed down to the platform (which was packed). Their train arrived late and when they got on it, they discovered it was also packed.

They ended up scattered around the train, having to stand on opposite ends of the carriages.

Cap ended up jammed next to Julian who was scrolling on his phone.

“Did you enjoy that?” Cap asked.

“Yeah, it was was alright. Can you believe I got a selfie with Margot. She looks so cute, though I don’t think I like her with blonde hair, she looks a lot better with her regular hair. I managed to go around a lot with her, did you see?” Julian said.

“Yes, Julian, I saw you hanging out with her.” Cap sighed.

“I can’t wait to get those selfies from her. We’re going to look awesome.” Julian continued to ramble on. “And did you see when we got the selfie, she was practically hugging me. And so did Robin, they just lavish me with so much attention. I’m certain Margot likes me. Robin does, in that way he does, and he was practically acting the same way. That must mean Margot likes me right?”

Mmm, Cap was pretty certain Margot liked Julian, but seeing as she had never actually told him, he wasn’t going to just blurt out his suspicions.

“You can’t really compare.” Cap muttered. “Robin’s is platonic, what you want from Margot is romantic.”

Julian hummed and shrugged. “I guess you’re right.” Then he shook his head and swiftly changed the subject. “A lot of people seemed to know who you were at con.”

“I imagine they were mistaking me for someone else.” Cap said quickly.

“Really?” Julian said, he then turned his phone to show Cap. “Then why did Mary tag you as aug.cos and when I click on the profile it seems to be you doing cosplay?”

“That’s not me.” Cap tried.

“I don’t know.” Julian said, opening the post Cap had uploaded early. “Because that sure looks like you.” Then he perked up. “And! You made your costume yourself. That seems very… cosplayey to me.” Julian then leant closer to Cap (if that was possible). “You’re a cosplayer aren’t you? Don’t say there was another, identical Frodo today, because I’m pretty certain there wasn’t.”

Cap scowled. “Shut up, Julian.”

“You are, aren’t you.” Julian grinned.

“I said, shut up, Julian!”

“I can’t wait to tell everyone!”

“You will do no such thing.” Cap snapped.

“Too late, I’ve already sent it to the group chat.” Julian said, slipping his phone away in his pocket.

Cap felt his phone buzz and he glared at Julian. 294.

Then Cap’s phone went crazy. Slowly he pulled his phone out and looked at the notifications from the group chat. Julian had in fact put it on the group chat. 295, just for actually doing it.

Cap’s phone buzzed again.

It was from Thomas to the group chat.

‘Byron messaged me, he said he was disappointed I stole his idea >:O ’

Then another from Thomas.

‘Can you believe that? ’

Then the symbol that Thomas was typing again. Besides him Julian started to ramble about Margot again.

Cap sighed.

This was going to be a long train ride home.

Chapter Text

There was one secret which Cap hadn’t told anyone. Not Adam, not Pat, even Julian didn’t know.

And that was.

Cap couldn’t swim.

So why the hell was he going swimming?

Pat had organised it, so really Cap didn’t need to go.

But still, Pat had asked if he wanted to and Cap couldn’t really say no.

Cap was sat on the side pool, watching the rest of the group splash around in the pool. Or at least, most of them. Neither Adam or Fanny could make it and Cap didn’t have a single clue where Julian had disappeared to.

“Hey Cap.” Alison said, swimming up to the edge of the pool. “Aren’t you coming in?”

“I would prefer not to at the moment.” Cap said stiffly.

“If you change your mind we’re playing water tag.” Alison told him before swimming off.

Cap sighed and leant back slightly. Alison was half-right when she said they were playing water tag. They were definitely trying to play water tag. Actually doing it however was another question entirely. Both Thomas and Mike already seemed exhausted, judging by how they were floating around practically lifeless in the shallows (they weren’t dead, they were occasionally moving). Kitty had seemed to of trapped Margot and Humphrey into a conversation, which neither of them seemed to want to be in. Mary was swimming up and down like a gold medal depended on it, and Robin was diving under the water just to jump up and scare people. Where had Julian disappeared to? Both Alison and Pat were trying to organise everyone. Cap felt slightly guilty, like he should go and help…

But no.

Today was his day off.

It was good that the pool was empty, otherwise the group would be in the way of everyone.

Cap continued to watch them for a few more moments before finally deciding to step in and help them out. Namely by finding Julian. He had been there when they all arrived because Cap had witness Julian pour an entire bottle of water over Thomas’ head. And then proceeded to listen to Thomas complain about Julian doing that (it’s the pool, Thomas, you’re going to get wet anyway), but since then, Julian had vanished.

Cap got up and slowly made his way around the pool, staying far away from the edge. Thankfully nobody called him over or asked where he was going so Cap left the pool with ease.

Cap wandered down the hall into the locker room. Julian’s stuff was still there, just he wasn’t. Cap continued down the locker room before realising that the communal showers were running.

“Julian?” Cap called out. There was no answer but really where else could Julian be?

“Julian?” Cap repeated, walking over to the showers. Then he froze.

“Julian!” Cap screeched.

Julian jumped and nearly collapsed to the ground due to his swimming trunks around his ankles.

“Julian, this is a public place!” Cap yelled.

“Cap- I- I- Cap- well- it’s- it’s- it’s-” Julian spluttered as he yanked up his trunks up.

“There could have been children here!”

“But there’s- there’s- there’s no children here, Cap, only you.” Julian tried.

“And still, I don’t want to see that.” Cap said.

“But you should be alright, you’ve already-”

“Just because I’ve done it once before does not mean I want to walk in on you masturbating again.” Cap snapped. “What on earth possessed you?”

Julian opened and closed his mouth several times then instead turned the shower off. “Fine.” He said. “Give me a second and let’s go back to the others.”

Cap folded his arms and stared at Julian, a scowl on his face.

“Are you going to stare at me the whole time?” Julian asked.

“If that’s going to stop you doing that again, yes.” Cap grunted.

Julian grumbled but swiftly left the showers.

“Fine, let’s go now.” Julian said.

The two left the locker room and were half-way down the corridor when Julian ground to a halt.

“What is it now, Julian?” Cap said but Julian shushed him.

Cap blinked and turned to look down the corridor. And there, at the bottom of the corridor, by the chairs, was Margot. In her swimming wear, which was a bikini.

Of course, that’s the reason.

“She’s just so- she’s- I mean- she’s-” Julian tried to say. He suddenly swung around to face Cap.

“For God's sake, Julian!” Cap snapped.

“Quick, make me think of someone not hot.” Julian said, screwing his eyes closed.

“I really don’t want to have this conversation, Julian.” Cap said.

“Come on, Caaaap.” Julian whined.

Cap huffed. “Fine. Robin.”

Julian put his head in his hands. His voice was muffled but Cap could still hear him.

“That always makes it worse. I said somebody not hot. And PLEASE don’t suggest yourself either, that makes it far, far, FAR worse too!”

“Well there’s-” But then Cap stopped as it suddenly clicked what Julian said. “WHAT?”

“Shut up shut up shut up shut up!” Julian pressed his head further into his hands. “Ah! Barclay.” Julian stood there silently for several seconds before shuddering and dropped his hands, a rather disgusted look on his face. “Okay, I’m good, I’m good.” He shuddered again. “Ugh, Barclay.”

Genuinely, Cap had no idea who that was.

Looking back down the corridor, Margot had gone. Cap figured it might be safe to go back to the pool. Perhaps the presence of other people would shame Julian enough.

“Are you not going in the water at all?” Julian asked as they entered the pool area, eyes once again locking directly on Margot. “You’re bone dry.”

“I’d prefer not to.” Cap muttered. “So are you, why did you come?”

“I am going in the water, I’ve just got to be careful, I left my hair cap at home.” Julian said. “Why did you even come?” He then asked, still not taking his eyes off Margot. “Could have stayed at home, could have saved some money, could have stopped interrupting me.”

“No, I’m glad I came TO stop you.” Cap said.

“But Cap-”

“I swear to God, Julian, do not finish that sentence.”

At that, Cap stalked off and took his place back on the seats by the side of the pool and started to watch everyone again.

Alison and Pat had seemed to have gathered everyone into some sort of order, but unfortunately for them, that fragile peace was shattered by Margot and Robin catching sight of Julian and drifting off to the side of the pool. Thanks to that movement, everyone else broke off. Thomas and Mike started to head back towards their corner, probably in preparation of floating lifelessly (FACE-UP) in sheer exhaustion. It seemed that those two decided to forgo going to the gym despite promising Cap they would. He was really going to have to chase them up on that. They shouldn’t be that tired from a little bit of paddling (Cap had been watching them, they had done little else).

Cap turned his attention back to Julian, who was bending over talking to Margot and Robin who were now both at the side of the pool (far away from Alison and Pat, who Cap was sure had now given up trying to gather them all).

Well, Cap says Julian and Margot was talking. Really what they were doing was attempting to not stare at each other and instead listen to Robin speak. From the looks of it, Robin was trying to get Julian into the water.

Eventually Julian slid into the water and Pat came swimming over to the three of them. He started to chat with them and suddenly Robin splashed and shot off fast, going in between everyone one (including two very weary gentlemen in the corner). Ah, this was the Robin-Diversion Tactic Cap had used during the murder mystery. Give him a task and get him out of your hair (this could also be renamed the Kitty-Diversion Tactic because it also worked on her too).

Pat waved and swam away. Ah. Match-making. That’s what Pat was doing. If only he knew what Julian was doing not 10 minutes ago.

The pair treaded water, swirling around each other, barely taking their eyes off each other. As they swirled, they seemed to be inching closer to each other. Julian reached up to push a piece of Margot’s sodden hair out of her face and behind her ear.

Eventually, Cap got bored of watching Julian and Margot talk and his eyes drifted back to the rest of the group.

Humphrey was trying to get people to race him. Cap could hear him talking.

“Just a few laps, up and down.” Humphrey said.

“I’m not racing you.” Alison said.

“Why not?”

“Take this as a compliment. You’re too fast.”

Soon Pat turned up by his side.

“Hi Cap.” Pat said in a tone of voice almost as bright as his Hawaiian patterned trunks. “How are you doing? Not going in the water?”

“I’m doing fine, though I don’t think I will be going in the water, no.” Cap said.

“Oh, come on, it’s fun!”

“I’m fine, Patrick, but thank you anyway.” Cap said, crossing his legs on the chair, ignoring the sound of his knees.

“Okay, but remember, you can come in any time.” And with that, Pat disappeared back into the water.

Cap continued to watch them for a while. Robin had seemed to have completed whatever meaningless task Pat had given him and had drifted back over to Julian and Margot. Not that his presence would make much difference either in a negative or positive way. Kitty was currently there, already ruining the mood it seems.

Kitty was gasping and splashing around, Margot paddling alongside next to her, sneaking looks back at Julian when he wasn’t looking. This was quite a lot of sneaking looks, as Julian was staring into the water, looking rather put out.

However though, when Robin reached them, Julian did seem to peak back up… for about 30 seconds, before Robin tried to hug him and brought half the water in the pool with him. Julian shoved Robin away, eyes wide as he managed to dodge the water. Julian said something and raised his hand to his hair (not touching it but just hovering besides it). Robin smiled and instead hugged Julian around his waist instead of his shoulders. Julian sighed and rested his hand on Robin’s heavily scarred back (how Robin got any of them Cap couldn’t tell you).

Cap’s eyes drifted from Julian and Robin, past Margot, who was opening staring at the two, a soft look on her face. Cap’s gaze eventually landed on Thomas, who was also openingly staring at Julian, but with a far more nefarious look on his face than what Margot had.

Thomas left the corner he and Mike were floating in and slowly crept his way across the pool in the direction of Julian. Mmm, perhaps Cap should say something?

No, no. Whatever was going to happen was going to happen. There was nothing Cap could do to stop that.

Thomas made it behind Julian, none of the others seemed to have noticed him.

Thomas made a movement and suddenly scooped up water and dumped it over Julian’s head.

Julian screamed and Thomas shot off with far more energy than Cap had ever seen him possess.

“THOMAS!” Julian roared, pushing his now dripped hair out of his eyes and followed Thomas with lightning speed.

Thomas scrambled up the ladders and ran out of the pool areas and into the lockers. Julian hot on his heels.

Cap bit back a laugh and shook his head. He lent back and continued to watch the pool until Julian appeared back by his side.

“I lost Thomas.” Julian grunted.

“How did you lose Thomas?” Cap asked.

“Disappeared.”

Cap looked up to see an angry looking Julian, desperately clutching at his hair.

“Are you quite alright?” Cap asked, staring at Julian’s hair.

“You know what my hair turns into when it’s wet.” Julian hissed.

“Oh, poor you, it’s not even that wet, I’m sure you’ll be fine.” Cap said, attempting to turn back to face the pool. But he stopped when Julian started to speak again.

“Stand up, Cap.” Julian said.

“What?”

“I said, ‘stand up, Cap’.”

“Why?”

“Just stand up, Cap.”

Cap frowned and stood up and Julian gently rested his hand on Cap’s shoulder.

And then shoved hard.

Cap went stumbling, over the edge of the pool and hit the water.

Cap screwed up his face and tried to stand up.

...

He couldn’t feel the bottom.

...

This was the deep end.

Cap tried to surface, kicking as hard as he could.

The surface wasn’t there.

He couldn’t reach it.

He couldn’t reach the surface.

He- he- he-

He felt an arm wrapped around his waist and pull him out of the water.

Cap spluttered and coughed as he gasped for breath.

“Jeez, fuck, Cap, I’m sorry, oh fuck, sorry, Cap, I didn’t know you couldn’t swim.” Julian was rambling, clinging to Cap, keeping him afloat.

“No- can’t swim-” Cap hacked.

Julian took Cap to the ladders and Cap clambered up them, collapsing back into a chair, still coughing.

“Cap!”

The others were all huddled around them, looking concerned as Cap’s coughing finally subsided.

“Shall Is gets the lifeguard?” Mary asked.

“No, no, I’m okay, I’m okay.” Cap said.

“I didn’t know you couldn’t swim, why can’t you swim.” Julian cried. “You were in the army, how do you not know how to swim?”

“I was in the army, not the navy.” Cap snapped.

“Right, I think that’ll call it a day.” Pat said, clapping his hands together and starting to usher people away. “Are you sure you’re alright, Cap?”

“Yes, yes, yes, I’m fine.” Cap assured him.

When everybody left, Julian remained, fretting.

“I’m so sorry, Cap. Are you okay? Do you need to go to the hospital?” He asked.

“No, I don’t need to go to the hospital, I am fine, Julian, there’s no harm done.” Cap said, standing up. “But if you ever do that again, it’s you who’ll need to go to the hospital.”

So what could this be? Cap was thinking an extra 10 marks for nearly killing him. 305. Or maybe more would be more appropriate.

It was as they were on the drive home did Julian start making a commotion.

“What?” Pat cried from the driver’s seat of the minibus. “What’s wrong?”

“Shut up, don’t look!”

And of course, everybody looked.

Julian was sat, clutching his head.

“Let’s have a look, Julian.” Kitty said.

“No!”

“Come on, Julian, you nearly drowned me, let us see.” Cap said.

Julian grumbled but eventually lifted his hands from his head.

Julian’s hair was now just a mass of curls.

“Ha, you have a bird’s nest now.” Cap said without a hint of humour in his voice.

“Ooooh, it does too.” Kitty said, giggling with laughter.

“Well, I think, this is exactly what you deserve.” Thomas said, folding his arms and leaning back.

“Nobody cares what you think, Thomas.” Julian snapped.

“I care what he thinks.” Cap said. “And I think he’s right. It was what you deserve, to have this bird’s nest.”

“No I don’t!”

“I think you do, Julian.” Alison said.

“I don’t.” Julian cried, putting his hands back over his hair.

“It’s an absolute mess.” Cap said. “I can’t believe this is your actual hair. It’s awful.”

“Don’t be mean.” Robin yapped. “Is pretty hair.”

“You’re probably just use to seeing it like this.” Alison said.

“Not this much.” Robin said.

“I don’t let you see it this bad when you stay over.” Julian grumbled.

“Why,” Robin said. “Looks nice. Right, Margot?”

“Mmm,” Margot hummed.

Julian lifted his head slightly to peer across at Margot.

“You look like a bad, unsheared sheep, Julian.” Margot said eventually.

Julian dropped his head back down, smothering a groan.

Robin gasped, putting a hand on his chest. “Not that bad!”

“It is a bit.” Margot said.

“Julian, don’t listen, looks nice.” Robin said.

“Thanks, Robin.” Julian muttered.

“Heres, you can use this.” Mary said suddenly.

Julian raised his head slightly and was immediately hit in the face with Mary’s hat. He grabbed the hat and his eyes went wide as he jammed it on his head. Most of his curls were hidden from sight by it.

“Thank you, Mary.” Julian said. “Everyday to you go up on The Mary Scale.”

Mary blinked. “The what scale?”

“Anyway.” Julian said loudly. “Next meeting, I think we should teach Cap to swim.”

“Try that and I will make sure no shop in this city will sell you hair care products.” Cap growled.

To say that shut Julian up fast was a bit of an understatement.

Chapter Text

“I think,” Pat said. “I think you all know why I’ve gathered you all here today.”

“Oh, is it to give out blueberry pie?” Kitty asked.

“No, obviously not, Kitty.” Fanny snapped. “Why would we be gathered specially to have blueberry pie?”

“Cherry pie?”

“Kitty, be real.”

Kitty hummed. “I guess you’re right.” Then she peaked up again. “Bramble pie?”

“We’re not having any sort of pie, Kitty.”

“Actually,” Pat said, adjusting his glasses. “I have brought apple pie for us.”

“Yay!” Kitty cheered, clapping loudly.

“But the apple pie isn’t the reason why I organised for everyone to come over here.” Pat said. “It was actually about Julian.”

“Julian?” Cap exclaimed. “Why are we here for Julian?”

“Well, it’s about Julian and Margot.” Pat clarified. “I think they might need some… help, getting together.”

Thomas groaned. “We have to help that has-been?”

“It would bes a very nice idea.” Mary said.

“Yeah, I thought it would be.” Pat said smiling. “They why I managed to get everyone here when neither Margot or Julian could be here.”

“And do you have any ideas?” Fanny asked.

“Well, I was hoping if any of you would have any good suggestions.” Pat said. “Consider it a big group effort. And whilst we’re thinking, would anyone like apple pie?”

Nearly twenty minutes later and all the apple pie gone, the only thing they achieved was a large ‘maybe’ pile.

“How about,” Thomas started to talk. “How about putting on a play. Adam can get us the stage, I can write it. We can have the two romantic leads, played by Margot and Julian, and finally have the characters confess their feelings and kiss. Then that will break their ice and help them get together.”

Not to be insult Thomas or anything, but Julian would actually kill him if Thomas went to him saying he’s written a play for Julian to perform in.

“That’s a nice idea, Thomas.” Pat said, slowly. He then smiled. “Let’s put that high up in the ‘maybe’ pile.”

Yes, Pat was probably thinking the same thing too. 

“Right.” Came a sudden, loud voice. That voice belonged to Adam. During all this, Adam had been sat in silence next to Cap, watching everyone as they shouted suggestions. “I’m going to step in before this runs on any longer, I want to go home soon.” Adam stood up and made his way over to stand beside Pat. “So, all of your suggestions were… fine. Sure, they were all good. Absolutely none of them would have worked though. Margot would have hated them all. What I suggest is that you list down everything you know about Margot and work from there. Whatever you decide, as long as Margot likes it, Julian will go along with it. Though I can tell you that the thing Margot would like the most would be for you to not even try and do this.”

God, Adam was taking charge, Cap loved it when Adam did that. He was so smart and determined and- God, Cap loved it. He loved it a lot.

“So, you do that, but I’m going home, because I need to go to bed. Remember, Margot would best like absolutely nothing. But you do you.” Adam said, folding his arms.

Cap loved Adam a lot. Did he mention that already?Adam went back to his chair and gathered his things.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Cap.” Adam said, smiling gently.

“I look forward to it.” Cap said.

Adam lent down and kissed him softly before straightening up and waving at everyone and left the room.

“Right, so let’s plan this from a Margot-view instead of a Julian-view.” Pat said, clapping his hands.

“How come Robin’s not here?” Kitty asked suddenly. “He could know.”

“Robin’s not here because he will just blab to Julian immediately, and once Julian knows, Julian will blunder his way into this.” Pat explained. “So, ideas?”

The idea they had eventually come to was a meal. A meal at a very fancy restaurant.

And they came up with a scheme to get Margot and Julian to go.

First, they would book a table for two, then Cap would go to Julian and claim that he had booked it for him and Adam, but Adam was called into work so would Julian like to go in his place. Then, Cap would withdraw for ‘work reasons’ and Cap would say Julian should still go as the deposit for the table would go to waste otherwise. The Julian would ask Margot and everything would be hunky-dory.

That was the plan anyway.

Whether it would work out was another thing entirely.

They decided to put their plan into action that weekend. Cap managed to book a table for two on Thursday and it was agreed he would approached Julian Friday.

And that’s what Cap did.

“Hey, did you want to go to a fancy restaurant tomorrow evening?” Cap asked as they were sat drinking hot chocolate (it was 8:30pm, Cap wasn’t getting coffee).

“I am always up for a fancy restaurant.” Julian said.

“That’s great.” Cap said. “I had booked it for me and Adam but Adam has been dragged back to work so he can’t make it, but we’ve already booked the table and there’s no point in letting it go to waste. It’s for 19:00.”

“Nice, can’t wait.”

On the Saturday morning it was time for Cap to do the next stage of the plan.

‘Bad news, Julian. I’ve been called into work so I won’t be able to make it tea. I’ll be leaving work at about 9pm so I can’t be there. You should still go though, the table has already been paid for.’ He texted.

Julian got back to him fairly quickly.

‘id love to but there is no way Id be able to afford it :( ‘

Ah. Now there was a hitch nobody had thought of. Luckily Cap had a plan which was technically correct.

‘That’s okay, I owe you some money for petrol from when you drove last weekend. I can Paypal it over to you.’ Cap texted.

‘thatll work thought its a bit sad going by myself ’ Julian text back.

‘It’s not sad, and anyway, why not ask somebody else to go with you.’

‘yeah i guess i could but idk who i dont wanna bother margot shes going to be at work all day and was planning on studying after i dont want to make her come out after cause that all sounds exhausting ’ Julian messaged.

And then. ‘ill ask robin if he wants to go ’

Ah! Now there was another hitch which nobody had thought of.

Immediately Cap’s eyes widened. He went to his contacts and selected Mary.

“Hello? ”

“Mary!” Cap barked. “I need you to invite Robin somewhere.”

“What? ”

“Julian is planning on inviting Robin to our plan because he doesn’t want to bother Margot after her work so I need you to stop that from happening. And I need you to do it fast.”

“Okay, no worries, I cans do that. ” Mary said before ending the phone call.

Cap sighed and returned to texting Julian.

‘Yes, that sounds like a plan.’ Cap texted. Best not doubt Julian here, otherwise he might start to be suspicious.

Well then, now all he could do was wait and see.

It was about half an hour later that Julian text Cap back.

‘robins busy with mary so he cant come :( ‘

‘Oh no, that sucks.’ Cap text. ‘Go and ask Margot, I’m sure she’ll be glad to not have to cook after all her work.’

‘Oh! ’ Julian text. ‘thats an idea ’ He text again.

Then he stopped texting.

An hour later Julian text again. ‘she said shed go to dinner :D ’

‘That’s great! ’ Cap messaged.

Genuinely, Cap was actually amazed that worked.

‘I hope you enjoy it.’ Cap text.

‘I hope so too :D ’

It was nearly 9:30pm and Cap was sat watching The Mandalorian (pirated of course. He wasn’t an animal who buys Disney+), a mug of hot chocolate in his hands, wrapped in a blanket, the fire roaring.

It was as he was awwing at Baby Yoda was there a knock at his door.

Cap frowned as he stared at the door. Who on Earth could that be at this time?

Cap put his hot chocolate down and wrapped himself from his blanket. Pausing The Mandalorian , Cap made his way over the door.

He opened it to reveal Julian stood in the doorway, his eyes downcast, a box of take-away in his hands.

“Julian? What are you doing here?” Cap spluttered.

“There was a power outage at the restaurant. They kicked everyone out.” Julian moaned.

“And why are you here?” Cap asked. “Did you not go somewhere else?”

“Margot was getting too tired to go somewhere else, so I just got her take-away and drove her home.” Julian said. “You said you’d be in after 9 so I decided to come here so it wasn’t a complete waste of a night. Also take-away is cheaper, so that’s a plus, isn’t it.”

Cap sighed and stepped back from the door.

“Fine. Come in.” He said.

Julian perked up and entered, shoving the take-away into Cap’s hands as he took his coat off. Thankfully Cap was only 10 minutes into The Mandalorian so he could still get away with the lie that he left work at 9pm.

“Oh, The Mandalorian . Is this the newest episode?” Julian asked, plonking himself down on the sofa and dragged Cap’s blanket around his shoulders.

“Yes, it is.” Cap said, glaring at Julian as the other man put his take-away-grease-covered hands all over his blanket.

Great, now he was going to have to wash it.

It is a very difficult blanket to wash.

“Do you mind if I just rewind to the start?” Julian asked as he rewound the episode to the start.

“I guess so.” Cap grumbled as he was forced to watch the opening credits again.

Cap sighed and picked up his hot chocolate and settled next to Julian.

“Aww, Baby Yoda.” Julian cooed as Baby Yoda blinked on screen.

Cap shook his head and opened his phone and his chat with Pat.

‘Plan A fell through. We need to think again.’

‘Think again ’ was rather hard.

Adam was adamant that Margot wouldn’t want anything done to push them together and as such, was no help. So everyone was struggling just a little bit. This would have been far more easy if Robin was brought on board.

But no.

Pat was right.

Robin would just blab immediately to Julian.

They had all met again to discuss but nobody had any ideas. They couldn’t pull the restaurant stunt again, Julian might not catch on but Margot most certainly would.

But before they could decide on anything, it was time for another Forced Exercise. This time, table tennis.

Julian had promised to come help Cap set up, but he wasn’t anywhere in sight.

Instead it was Robin who appeared in the hall, kicking a folded-up table until it opened up.

“I didn’t know you’d be coming early to help.” Cap said as he wheeled another table in.

“What? Oh- I- yeah.” Robin said, fiddling with the netting. “Helping!” There was a sudden clang as Robin dropped the netting, the metal sides bouncing from the ground. Robin dropped down and scooped up the netting. “Helping, helping, helping.” Robin continued to mutter as he continued to twist the netting.

Cap frowned as Robin continued to fidget.

“Alright then, I’ll go grab the rest of the stuff then.” Cap said. “Unfold that table for me too, I’ll go grab the rest of the stuff.”

Cap left the hall and wandered down to one of the storage halls. He was looking for table tennis paddles. They weren’t in here.

Oh, maybe the other storage hall.

He made his way over to the door leading to the other storage hall and opened it.

Then stopped dead.

Margot was sitting on Julian’s shoulders, desperately trying to force a window open.

Cap watched them for a few moments before deciding to speak up.

“What are you doing?”

Both Margot and Julian screamed and jumped. Cap leapt forward as Margot started to fall back off Julian’s shoulders.

Both Cap and Julian grabbed Margot before she could drop. Slowly Julian lowered himself to the ground and Margot managed to hop off.

“Cap, don’t do that!” Julian cried. “Scared the living daylights out of me.”

“What were you doing?” Cap asked again.

“We were getting the rackets but the door wouldn’t open, we think it’s jammed. Nobody came when we shouted so we tried to bust our way through the window.” Julian explained. “Oh, you opened the door?” Julian turned to look at the other door, which was still shut.

“Julian. There’s two doors.” Cap said.

“Yes, didn’t you know there were two doors, Julian.” Margot said, brushing down her clothes.

“You didn’t know.” Julian whined.

“Yes I did.” Margot said. “I just wanted to see what you’d do to try and get us out. It’s very important that I know these things.”

“Well then,” Julian said. “Fine, let’s go back to setting up.” Julian then practically marched out of the room, stopping and scanning the wall before locating the door and carrying on.

“Mmm, yes, let’s carry on. Table tennis paddles.” Margot muttered, turning bright red as she looked everywhere but at Cap. She quickly scanned the area, grabbed a few paddles and raced away from Cap as fast as she could, ignoring a couple of paddles which fell from her arms.

Picking them up, Cap followed the pair back to the hall.

He hit a roadblock as Julian and Margot stood at the opposite side of the second door, staring at the pull dolly which was positioned across the door, stopping it from opening.

“That must have been the issue,” Julian said, pushing the dolly away from the door, it screeching loudly on the ground. “It must have accidentally rolled across the door.”

How? The brakes were on. That’s why it screeched when Julian moved it. It couldn’t have just ‘accidentally’ rolled by itself. It needed to have been dragged across by hand. But who could have done it? Cap hadn’t even known they were there and-

Robin.

He must have done it.

Cap had thought he was looking a little shifty.

With the dolly moved, they continued back to the hall. Robin had managed to set the tables up and suddenly started to beam as the three walked into the hall.

“Tables done.” Robin announced proudly.“Yeah, that’s great, Robin.” Julian muttered, wandering over to stare at one of them.

Margot dropped the paddles on the benches, refusing to look at Cap.

Cap glanced between Margot and Julian before marching over to Robin.

“Hello Robin.” Cap said quietly.

“Hi Cap.” Robin chirped.

“Did you do that?” Cap asked, still keeping his voice very low.

Robin blinked before beaming.

“Don’t you know what you mean.” Robin said. He grinned again and slid away from Cap and disappeared into the hall.

Well, Cap would have to bring it up to the rest of the group. Plan B had already been attempted and it had also failed.

Chapter Text

‘Cap, have you seen this YouTube channel? ’ Pat text, before sending a link.

Cap lent back in his chair and clicked the link. It led Cap to a bright and colourful YouTube channel called KittyCatVlogs . Cap clicked over to the about section and came across a very cheery blurb filled with many emojis.

‘Hiya, I’m Kitty and welcome to my life! I’m going to be vlogging my life with you! I’m very excited for you to come on my journey with me!!! ’

Cap frowned and pulled his headphones from his pocket. Why has Pat sent him this? Cap managed to untangle the headphones and jammed them into his phone and clicked on the latest video.

“Hi everyone! Kitty here! I hope you’ve had a great day and I hope I’m going to make it better.” A woman was beaming at the camera, she was wearing a lot of pink and glitter. “Today I’m going to the mini zoo at the park. We’re going to see some ponies and some peacocks and some goats and some wallabies, it’s going to be great.” The camera cut to Kitty walking down the street.

“We’re nearly there,” Kitty said. “Look.” The camera turned to show a sign for the local park. As Kitty passed the gate the camera swivelled back to her. “We’ve just got to cross the park and then we’re there. Come on, let’s go around the lake!”

The camera panned back around and showed Kitty’s walk through the park, chattering as she went.

“That’s the sports pitch, there’s a lot of kid football on there. Not today though, so it’s all quiet.” The camera then pointed across to Boating Lake. “Lookie, duckies! There’s also geese here too, but we’re going to stay well away from them.”

Kitty continued around the lake, chatting as she went.

Eventually she passed through the entrance building and entered the animal park.

“Oh look, peacocks!” Kitty exclaimed excitedly. “Come on, let’s see what else we can find.”

The video continued as Kitty passed by some goats, and wallabies and even more peacocks, which she seemed very happy about. Then she continued around the zoo, gasping as she saw the ponies.

Then she finally made it to the butterfly catch she gasped again. “Look, to get in here you have to press a button,” Kitty explained. She pressed it and entered the door. “Then you have to make sure that the outside door is closed before you can open the inside door.” She clicked the door shut and opened the inner door. “And now you can see the butterflies!”

Kitty continued to walk through the butterfly sanctuary, trying to zoom in on the butterflies when she saw them. “I think that’s a monarch butterfly, that’s a type right? And that’s a peacock butterfly? Or is it a Red Admiral? I don’t you, you guys are going to have to comment down below what they are. Oh look, birds!” The camera zoomed further in and Cap could just make out little birds flying around the top of the cage. “And if we go further this way, there’s a waterfall.” Kitty span the camera around and showed the waterfall at the end of the walk.

“Isn’t that lovely.” Kitty sighed. The camera panned across the scenery for a few moments longer before pointing to the exit. “And to get out you have to do the same thing which you did to get in. Press this button to open this door. Then once it’s closed, you can open the outside and leave.” Kitty stepped back outside and the camera turned back to face her. “And that’s the zoo, wasn’t that fun! You’ll guys will have to let me know what butterflies those were, if you could see them enough that is. Well, that’s it from me, I hope you’ve had a great day. Byeeeee!” The video faded to the outro and Cap frowned.

Why did Pat link him to this?

‘Why did you link me to this? ’ Cap texted him.

‘I figured her content might be good to use.’ Pat text back.

‘She’s vlogging about going to East Park??? ’ Cap text.

‘Ooohoho, she also does LGBT+ videos alongside her vlogs, check them out and see what you think.’

Ah, there was other stuff?

Cap went back on the account and looked through the rest of her videos.

Yes. There did seem to be other things.

He clicked on a video titled ‘NSYNC’s BI BI BI ’.

“Hi everyone! Kitty here! I hope you’ve had a great day and I hope I’m going to make it better.” Kitty greeted Cap brightly. “And today I’m going to be discussing something very important. Now, I think I might have mentioned this a couple of times before, but I’m bisexual. Okay, so what is bisexuality? Basically, it’s the attraction to two or more genders. And the ‘more genders’ is very important. It’s more than one.

“And it isn’t just, a bi person is 50% gay and 50% straight, its it’s own unique ball which doesn’t have percentages at all. And if a bi person gets into a relationship they don’t suddenly become the orientation which matches that relationship, they’re still bi! Sure, one person can be more attracted to a specific gender than the others, but that still doesn’t need to be cut up into a pie chart and shown as numbers on a graph… mmm, pie. I do like pie. Oh! Remind me guys, next video will be a bake-along I’ve just decided, I’m making pie! Drop me a comment down below to help me decide what sort of pie I should make. Now what was I talking about? Or right! Bisexuality.”

Mmm, this could be useful.

And so Cap text Pat just that.

‘That’s fantastic! And isn’t she a lot of fun to watch! ’

‘I guess so. It’s not what I’d usually put on.’

‘You should watch some more, I’m certain you’ll love her! ’

Unlikely, but Cap figured he might as well humour Pat.

Oh.

Has two hours passed already?

It was a couple of weeks later when it happened. Cap was out with Pat after the pair had spent the past hour with Julian (who was on his lunch break), both somehow being coerced into buying Julian his lunch. Once they had safely deposited Julian back at his work, they often went off to buy a coffee to de-stress from Julian-time.

So, there they were, sitting in Costa, when Pat suddenly gasped.

“I think it’s her!” Pat said, looking straight over Cap’s shoulder. “I think it’s Kitty, you know, the vlogger from YouTube!”

Cap frowned and slowly peered around.

Indeed it was.

The YouTuber, Kitty, was stood at the counter, looking at the menus on the wall.

“Oh, we should ask if she’s like to come over to one of our meetings.” Pat chirped.

“I’m sure she has better things to be doing with her time.” Cap muttered, turning back to the table.

“Well, you never know until you ask.” Pat said. Then he stood up.

“What are you doing?” Cap hissed, shuffling in his seat as Pat started to walk over to Kitty.

“Going to ask her.” Pat whispered back.

“No, Patrick, don’t-” But it was too late, Pat was already next to Kitty.

“Hi.” Cap heard Pat say cheerfully. “You’re KittyCatVlogs aren’t you?”

Kitty gasped and clapped her hands. “Yes, I am! That’s me. You recognised me! I never get recognised, especially in this city. I didn’t think anybody from this place watched me.”

“I love your videos. Really entertaining.” Pat said. “I especially love all your LGBT+ videos you do. I’m Pat, by the way.”

“Ooooh, thank you so much, Pat!” Kitty squealed, beaming.

“In fact, I was hoping to ask you something.” Pat said. “Me and my friend attend an LGBT+ meetup group here in town and- well, actually, my friend created it and hosts it,” Pat waved across to Cap, who tried to duck down into his seat. It didn’t work, Kitty saw him. “And we were just wondering if you’d like to come along? It’s okay if you don’t, it’s just a thought. We do presentations of orientations, similar to the kind of videos you make.”

“Ah, I’d love to!” Kitty was practically bouncing on the spot now. “When’s your next meetup?”

“It’s this Thursday, we meet at 7pm upstairs in the Brain Jar. It’s a games night, so no presentations, but it’ll give you a chance to meet everybody.”

“I’ll be there!” Kitty said. “Who’s your friend?” She asked, looking around at Cap, who tried to duck down even more.

“That’s Cap.” Pat said. “He created the group about a year ago. Year and a few months ago. We’re always looking for new members. Your work email is on your YouTube page isn’t it. I’ll email you a link to the group’s page on meetup.com and you can have a look for yourself.”

“Thank you, Pat. Thursday. 7pm. Brain Jar. I’ve got it. Don’t worry, I’ll be there.” Kitty said.

“Great!” Pat chirped. “I’ll let you get back to ordering a drink now. See you then, Kitty.”

“Bye, Pat.” Kitty said, waving as Pat made his way back to Cap.

“I can’t believe you did that.” Cap said.

“Hey, it looks like we have a new member.” Pat said.

“Do you think she’ll turn up?” Cap asked. 

Pat glanced back at Kitty before nodding. “I’m sure she will.”

Cap was tapping his table, staring at the doorway.

“I’m sure she’ll turn up, Cap.” Pat said, from where he was playing Jenga with Alison, Mike and Humphrey.

“Who’ll turn up?” Alison asked as she took a piece out of the tower.

“A YouTube vlogger.” Pat said. “I’ve invited her to come along, she does a lot of LGBT+ videos.”

“That’ll be good, we could get on YouTube.” Alison said.

“Oh, no. We don’t want the world knowing what losers we are.” Humphrey muttered as he proceeded to topple the Jenga tower over.

“Yeah, we can’t be having that.” Cap said, barely glancing away from the doorway the pieces of Jenga scatter all over the floor.

Suddenly a box was slammed down on the table in front of Cap.

“Play Mikado with me!” Julian practically yelled, pushing the box towards Cap. “I’ve been asking you for about 10 minutes now.”

“I will in a bit.” Cap said, pushing the box back to Julian.

“But, Caaaaaaaaaap-” Julian whined.

“Later.” Cap snapped.

Julian grumbled and took the box back. He went and sat at a table across the room and sadly started to play by himself.

“I can’t believe I have to play Mikado by myseeeeeeeeeeelf.” Julian cried loudly. “Because Cap won’t play with meeeeee-”

“Oh, for God’s sake, fine, I’ll play with you.” Cap stood up and stomped over to Julian. Julian grinned like he won a great victory and the room fell back into quiet chatter.

That was until there was a knock on the door frame.

“Knock knock, hi, I’m Kitty. You’re Pat! I made it!” It was Kitty, looking very excited to be standing there.

“Kitty, come in, come have a game.” Pat said. “Have you gotten a drink yet?”

“I’m going to get one in a bit.” Kitty said. “Are you playing Jenga?”

“Yeah, we are, Cap and Julian are playing Mikado, but we’ve got a table over there with other games if you want to pick one.” Pat said.

“I will do,” Kitty said. “But I’m okay with Jenga too.” She went and sat in the chair next to Alison. “Hi, I’m Kitty!”

“I’m Alison.” Alison said, smiling.

“It’s so good to meet you.” Kitty beamed. “How long have you been coming here for?”

“Caaaap, Caaaaaaaaap, it’s your turn.” Julian started to whine again.

Cap scowled at Julian.

Cap scowled at Julian.

Why did he keep paying for stuff for Julian?

“Two adults, please.” Cap sighed.

Once he collected the tickets, Cap jerked his head and led Julian into the courtyard to wait for the others.

“I haven’t been to the zoo in ages.” Julian said.

“Yes, I can imagine you haven’t been.” Cap muttered.

Adam made his way over to them, taking Cap’s hand once he was there.

“I’d quite like to see the tigers.” Adam said.

“I’ll make sure we do.” Cap said, squeezing Adam’s hand. “It just so happens I’m the guy who plans where everybody goes.”

“... Going to have more than wallabies in this one.” Cap heard Kitty say as she came walking over them. “I’ll clock in in a bit.” Aha, she was talking to her camera. “I already love this zoo. They had ponies at the front. Thomas, did you see the ponies? Did you?”

“Yes, I did.” Thomas said as he joined their circle.

“There’s going to be more than ponies in here.” Pat said as he joined them.

“I know, I’m so excited!” Kitty said, clapping her hands together. “There’s going to giraffes and elephants and tigers and all sorts of things.”

“There’s lion’s as well.” Margot said as she arrived.

Julian slid from Cap’s side and settled next to Margot instead. He smiled at her and she gave him a look which could have almost been a smile.

“There’s wolves too.” Mike said, looking through the brochure.

“Any bears?” Robin asked.

“Yeah, they’ve got bears.” Mike said, squinting at the map.

“Don’t like bears.” Robin muttered, taking Julian’s arm and gripping it like a vice.

“You don’t have to see them.” Cap said. “I’m sure you can go around them.”

“Don’t worry, Robin, we will.” Margot said, appearing at Julian’s other side.

“Yes,” Julian said. “Please loosen your grip, I think circulation is being cut off.”

“Don’t worry, Julian. I can match it with your other arm.” Margot said, taking hold of Julian’s other arm in a similar vice-like grip.

Julian had a very confused look on his face. It was a cross between a joyful man who’s crush was touching him and a man who was already grieving for his arms.

Cap looked around and everyone seemed to have made it through to the circle. “Right, so which way does everyone want to go first? According to the person on the till, we can do either the lemurs or the parrots first then loop around to the lions.”

“Let’s go see the lemurs.” Alison said just as Kitty gasped, “parrots!”

Kitty suddenly paused and hummed. “Actually, the lemurs first, we can see the pretty parrots last.”

“Lemurs it is.” Cap said. “Mike, you’re the only one who picked up a map, lead the way.”

“Er, okay.” Mike squinted again at the map. “This way.”

And so they set off, past the bushes and around the corner to the lemur enclosure.

“Ooh, look at them!”

“They look so cute.”

“Looks at their little tails.”

“Yeah, they’re pretty okay, I guess.”

“Don’t be daft, they’re very cute.”

“Look, look, lemurs!” Cap looked around at the odd phrasing only to see Kitty holding her camera pointing towards the animals.

“We’re seeing the lemurs first and the parrots last, so we’re going to be in for a treat of animals today.” Kitty continued to talk to the camera. She continued to film as everyone got their fill of the lemurs.

Eventually they moved on, and Kitty suddenly swung around to face Cap.

“Would you like to be filmed for a bit?” Kitty asked. “I haven’t put anything of the group up before so I figured I could do it if you’d let me. Plus I figured the zoo would be a nice and easy thing to start vlogging about when I’m actually here with you.”

“Yes, you can talk about us, Katherine.” Cap said. “And if the others will allow it you can film. I’d prefer not to speak on camera though.”

“Got it.”

Kitty quickly nipped around everyone else, asking them the same question.

She seemed to have gotten positive answers from everyone else as she brought her camera back out and started to talk again.

“And I’m part of an LGBTQIA+ Meetup group, we do TED talks and stuff, and we also do group activities, like go to the zoo. Woo! This is our captain, Cap, and Adam, hi guys.” Kitty span the camera around to face Cap.

Cap blinked and waved a hand to wave. Adam grinned and waved.

“And this is our second-in-command, Pat. He was the one who introduced me to this group” Kitty took the camera off Cap and onto Pat.

“Hi, all of Kitty’s fans.” Pat said, also waving, except with a lot more enthusiasm that Cap.

“He drove us there.” Kitty said. “Thank you, Pat. And that’s Humphrey next to him, hi Humphrey.”

Humphrey waved and Kitty span around to face Alison and Mike. “Here’s Alison and Mike, Mike, say something funny!”

“Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr,” Mike continued to make that noise until Alison started to laugh.

“That’s a good joke, Mike.” Alison said.

Kitty giggled. “It was Mike, thanks!”

“Errrrrrrrr, oh, look, ostriches.” Mike said, pointing. As Kitty span her camera around Mike seemed to sigh. “I could have thought of a joke.” He said quietly.

“I’m sure you could have.” Alison said, patting Mike on the shoulder.

As they watched the ostriches something unusual happened. One of the ostriches was hanging around the fence, staring intently at Fanny. It slowly crept forward.

Fanny had noticed.

“What’s it looking at?” Fanny muttered. She moved away from the bird and to the other side of the group, to stand beside Pat. The ostrich suddenly turned and followed after Fanny.

“I think somebody likes you.” Julian said as the ostrich got as close to Fanny as it could.

“Shut up, Julian.” Fanny snapped, attempting to get to the other side of the group again. And again the ostrich followed.

“Right, I’m going.” Fanny barked. She marched off down the path and the ostrich hurried to keep up.

The group burst into laughter and started down the path after Fanny. As they reached the end of the enclosure, the ostrich was standing in the corner, staring down the path as Fanny quickly disappeared down it.

As they left the ostrich enclosure and turned the corner, Fanny was waiting for them.

“We’re not going back past there.” She said. “That was creepy.”

“Well I think it’s the gazelles next.” Mike said, looking at the map. “And don’t worry, we can loop away from the ostriches on the way back.”

“Good.”

They continued off again, with Kitty recording some more.

“Say hi, Thomas.” She said.

“Kitty, I’ve been in your videos before.” Thomas said. He wiggled his scarf further up over his face and huffed into it.

“Yeah, but it’s nice to say hi, I do at the start of every new video.”

“Okay, hi, I guess.” He took his hand out of his pocket to wave.

“I bet everyone is saying ‘hi Thomas’ back.”

“Mmm, sure.” Thomas muttered.

“And here’s Julian, Margot and Robin.” Kitty said, turning now onto those three. “Margot is doing a doctorate, Robin is an astrophysicist, Julian is Julian.”

“Hey!” Julian barked and feebly pointed with a finger on each hand. “Don’t say that like it’s a bad thing.”

“Julian, that is a bad thing.” Margot said bluntly.

“When put it like that, is bad thing.” Robin agreed.

Julian gasped and unthread his arm from Margot’s, stepped away from them. “I can’t believe you’d say things like that.” He cried in an over-the-top manner which wouldn’t be amiss from Thomas. “From now on, Cap is going to be my only best friend.”

Margot shrugged. “There’s no real loss there.”

“No at all.” Robin said.

“Caaaaaaaaaaap, they’re being meeeeeean to meeeeeeee.” Julian whined.

“If you can’t play nicely, Julian, I’m going to take you back to the camper and we’ll sit out the rest of this trip in there.” Cap said, trying not to shake with laughter.

Julian gasped again but returned back to his spot. “Okay, I’m over it.” He said.

“Oh, that’s good.” Kitty said. “Say hi to the camera.”

“Hi camera.” Julian said.

“Hi camera.” Margot said.

“Hi camera.” Robin said.

“Oh, Robin, would you say that in Ukrainian at all?” Kitty asked.

“Pryvit kamera.” Wait, that wasn’t Robin, that was Margot instead.

It was Robin’s turn to gasp and Kitty squealed.

“Margot I didn’t know you could speak Ukrainian.” She said.

“Yeah, I did a semester abroad in my second year of uni and I decided to go to Kyiv. I just kept practicing when I got home as I could speak in passing there. Robin and I occasionally meet up just to talk in it.” Margot said.

“And get very drunk.” Robin said, grinning. It was then that Robin went into a long sentence in Ukrainian.

“What did he say?” Kitty asked.

“You’re Ukrainian, Robin, I’m sure everyone knows that you can speak Ukrainian.” Margot said. She turned to Kitty. “He said, ‘Kitty asked me to say ‘hi camera’ so now I’ve got to do this long rambling speech to prove that I can speak Ukrainian’. But with more swears.”

“Didn’t!” Robin said. “Didn’t swear, wouldn’t demonetise Kitty.”

“Oh, it’s the other way around now, Robin.” Kitty said. “You get demonetised if you’re child-friendly now.”

“Really?” Robin asked. He blinked a few times, and then. “FUCK!”

As everyone burst into laughter and Julian threw his arms around Robin’s shoulders.

“Thank you for paying Kitty’s bills.” He said. “Can you pay mine too?”

Kitty laughed and was about to swing the camera to Mary when Mike announced: “we’re here at the gazelles.”

The group dispersed around the gazelle enclosure to watch them graze, Julian still with his arm around Robin who looked extremely pleased to be there.

After a while of watching them, the group joined up again and started to carry on again down the path.

“And this is Mary,” Kitty said, turning to Mary again. “Hi Mary.”

“Hi Kitty’s viewers.” Mary said, waving. “Yous made a good choice following her- oh, subscribing I mean.”

“No, that’s okay, thank you, Mary.” Kitty said. She then turned to Fanny. “And here’s Fanny, say hi.”

“She got chased by an ostrich.” Julian said very loudly.

“Shut up, Julian!” Fanny snapped.

“It’s true.”

“Well, you don’t have to tell the world!”

“And if we turn here, there’s the insect house.” Mike announced loudly, pointing at a house hidden in the trees, shoving his arm directly in the way of Fanny and Julian.

“Shall we go to the insect house?” Cap asked everyone.

“Yes!” Everyone chorused.

Or rather, nearly everyone chorused.

Neither Thomas or Julian made a peep and as they approached the house Thomas slowed to a halt.

“Oh, whilst everyone else goes in, we can vlog some more, Thomas.” Kitty said cheerfully, grounding to a halt beside Thomas.

“Oh, great.” Thomas muttered.

“Are you coming in, Julian?” Cap asked.

Julian hummed until he saw Margot enter the house.

“Absolutely I am.” Julian said. He straightened his jacket and marched to the house.

“I think I might stick out here,” Adam said. “I’m not particularly fond of bugs.”

“Okay, we can stay out here.” Cap said, stopping besides Adam.

“No, you go in.” 

“It’s alright, I’ll stay out here.”

“Ah! You can help me vlog too!”

Cap sighed. “Okay, Kitty, we’ll help.”

“Ooooh, great! Cap, Cap, Cap, can’t you tell us about how you started the group?” Kitty asked.

“Er, okay.”

Adam pushed Cap forward and Kitty cracked open her camera again.

“So, Cap, how’d you start the group?” She asked.

“I, er- I started it cause the only other close LGBTQIA+ group was in another city 30 miles away.” Cap said. “So I figured I should open one up here.”

“That’s grand!” Kitty said. “What sort of expectations did you have for this group?”

“Oh, well, it’s-” Cap hummed. “My hope was to connect LGBT+ people and create a place to learn about stuff and make friends and do something. I think it’s worked pretty well. Our talks go off smoothly and and I’m sure everyone has made a new friend, I certainly have.”

“Aw, that’s so cute, so have I.” Kitty said. She turned the camera around to face Thomas. “And here he is. Thomas, how did you join?”

“You know how I joined, you were there.” Thomas muttered.

“Oh, but once more for the camera.”

Thomas sighed and crossed his arms. “I thought I was joining a drama group, but it turns out I had the weeks mixed up and went a week early to the event. You guys were there instead and I decided, seeing as I am bi and… aro, I might as well join you as well.”

“‘As well’? You’ve joined another group too.” Cap barked.

“I’m allowed to have more than one social gathering.” Thomas snapped. “And besides, they only meet once a month, not twice weekly like we do.”

“I can’t believe you managed to get another set of friends.” Cap said.

“That’s right, I- HEY!”

“And what about you, Adam, how did you join?” Kitty asked, ignoring Cap and Thomas.

“I started dating Cap and I try and turn up whenever I can get away from work.” Adam said. “Now is a very good day.”

Suddenly, something very fast and Julian-shaped when rushing by them.

“What was that?” Kitty asked, swirling around.

“Something very fast and Julian-shaped.” Thomas muttered.

“I’ll go see what’s wrong with him.” Cap said and he took off in the same direction and the very fast and Julian-shaped thing went.

“Julian, what’s up?” Cap asked as he reached the very fast and Julian-shaped thing which turned out to be Julian.

“Nothing, I just don’t like bugs.” Julian said.

“Why did you come into the bug house?” Came Margot’s voice all of a sudden.

“Ah! Margot!” Julian jumped and straightened up. “Well, I thought that they might be cool.”

“You know you don’t like bugs but you went in anyway because they thought they might be cool.” Margot stated. “Don’t you think you should have thought ahead a bit and come to the most obvious conclusion of not going into the bug house.”

Julian scratched his head and winced. Cap folded his arm and lent back on a tree to watch the scene unfold.

“I guess so.” Julian muttered.

“Then how come you went in?” Margot asked.

“... Because everyone else went in.”

“Cap didn’t.” Margot said. “Neither did Adam and Thomas and Kitty.”

“Yeah, well…” Julian shrugged and started to pick at the fabric of his sleeves. “I guess I just had to, right?”

“But why?”

“Well…” Julian said. “I don’t know, you seemed pretty excited to go in, so I think I figured that I might be a bit less creeped out by them.”

“Oh?” Margot rubbed the back of her neck and looked aside. “You went in there because of me?”

A faint blush spread across Julian’s face at Margot’s words. “Oh well, I guess, if you look at it like that, I guess that might be right.”

“Oh.” And just like Julian, Margot’s face got covered in a blush. “Well, you really shouldn’t have, just for me.”

“I enjoy spending time with you.” Julian said quietly.

Margot still and blinked several times. She was quiet for a few moments before saying, “I enjoy spending time with you too.” Then she shook her head. “But you still shouldn’t have gone into the bug house if you knew you didn’t like it.”

Julian broke into a huge beam. “You’re right, I should have thought ahead, sorry about that.”

Margot hummed. “thank you, just think ahead next time. Now perhaps we should get back to the others. Robin was worried when you ran off like that.”

Julian nodded and together they walked off back in the direction of the house.

They… just forgot about Cap…

Cap unfolded his arms and pushed himself off the tree. How rude of them.

He turned and started back down the path to the house where the rest of the group had emerged from, with Robin shaking Julian hard.

“Why’d go in? No like bugs!” Robin practically shouted.

“Hey, I’m good, okay. You can stop writhing me now.” Julian managed to say. Once Robin calmed down, Julian ran a hand through Robin’s hair and grinned haphazardly.

Robin grumbled and took Julian’s hand. And judging by the sudden grimace of pain on Julian’s face, Robin had an ironclad grip on it.

Cap retook his place by Adam’s side and with that the group set off again.

They passed by the lions and the wolves and giraffes and the hippos and the elephants without problem. When they were looking at the gorillas, Julian did make an old-fashioned jab at one looking at Cap. 306 for the insult. 307 for the insult not even being original.

It wasn’t until 2 hours later that Mike stopped, squinted at the map again and said: “I think we’re coming up to the bear now, Robin you wanted to avoid them?”

Robin nodded and went over to study the map. The pair muttered to each other as they traced lines on the map.

“Er, I go back by wolves and meet you at fish enclosure.” Robin announced.

“Okay,” Julian said. “Let’s go, we’ll see-”

“I’ll go with you!” Kitty said loudly. “We can vlog some more.”

“Er-” Robin’s eyes flickered onto Julian then back onto Kitty’s excited face. “Okay.”

Robin waved as he and Kitty trundled off back down the path.

Julian folded his arms. “Fine, let’s go and see the bears.” He grumbled with a slight bitter note to his voice.

They could not see the bears.

“Where are they?” Mary asked, craning her neck to look around the empty enclosure.

The group muttered to themselves for Pat suddenly piped up.

“Wait, it’s winter time, they’ll be hibernating won’t they.”

“Oh, of course!”

“Yeah, that makes sense.”

“I’d love to hibernate me.”

“Captive animals don’t always hibernate.” Adam said.

“I reckon we’ve just hit an unlucky time where they are.” Thomas grumbled.

“Oh well, it’s a shame, but there’s nothing we can do about it.” Pat said, endlessly cheery.

“At least we’ve got the aquarium coming up.” Alison said. “That’s something.”

“So Robin could have come with us.” Cap heard Julian say to Margot.

“But if the animals were out you wouldn’t have wanted him to go through that.” Margot responded.

“I guess I could have- no, no, no, you’re probably right.” Julian said, before sighing. “Oh well, he should be at the aquarium by now, let’s go and save him from Kitty’s vlogs.”

All in all, Cap thought it had been a very successful trip out.

Nothing actually went wrong. Nobody was left behind. Nobody fell into any of the animal enclosures though that seemed to be a close miss.

If the group were well behaved in the upcoming months, Cap may even think of another trip like that for after Christmas.

But at the moment, Cap but those ideas aside and continued with his day-to-day life, thinking less and less about the zoo trip as the week went on.

That was until Kitty popped up onto his Recommended homepage on YouTube.

It was 13:27 minutes long and it was called: ‘I went to the zoo with my friends! ’

Not a very original title but it was accurate, Cap admitted. But still, he might as well watch it.

“Hi everyone! Kitty here! I hope you’ve had a great day and I hope I’m going to make it better.” Kitty beamed and waved as she greeted the camera. “And today I went to the zoo. But not only did I go with my good friend Thomas, but I also went with a group I haven’t actually told you about before. I’m part of my local LGBT+ group. I joined about a year and a half ago. That’s where I met Thomas. And now we’ve gone to the zoo! So here’s some footage of the day. I’ll pass you to past!Kitty and she can show you around. Byeeee.” The screen changed and it was Kitty, bundled up in a big coat as she was passing the turnstiles.

“So we’re here, at the zoo. It took us about an hour to get here so it’s not too far away. And we’re going to see a lot of animals here, cause they’re going to have more than wallabies in this one. I’ll clock in in a bit” The scene then changed to show the lemurs. “Look, look, lemurs!” Kitty said excitedly. “We’re seeing the lemurs first and the parrots last, so we’re going to be in for a treat of animals today.” The camera panned around the lemurs some more before it changed again. It was then onto Kitty introducing everyone (which Cap had already lived through once he didn’t need to live through it again).

The video continued much as Cap remembered it, with ‘Present!Kitty’ only popping back up a couple of minutes later when Robin swore to say, “and seeing as YouTube’s new rules mean I can’t keep my videos child-friendly or else I won’t get paid, as I don’t swear I’ve actually gotten permission from Robin to use that clip if I’m thinking my videos aren’t adult enough. Now back to past!Kitty.” The scene cut back to the zoo and the video continued as Cap remembered.

Until Kitty departed with Robin to avoid the bears.

“So Robin,” Kitty said. “How did you join the group?”

“Err, Cap and brother had argument, Cap won and invited me!” Robin said brightly. Cap (as he had later found out) had actually broken Robin’s brother’s nose during that ‘disagreement’. It gave him a certain sense of pride.

“And are you enjoying the group?” Kitty asked. A proper little reporter she was being.

Robin nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah! Learn things, make friends, like you!”

Kitty giggled. “And like Julian?”

If possible, Robin nodded with even more enthusiasm. “Yeah! Really like Julian!”

“It’s cute, Robin and I’m sure he really likes you too.” Kitty said and Robin smiled, a faint blush.

“Oh! One last question.” Kitty said suddenly. “You know when you swore, can I use that clip to stop myself from being demonetised for being too child-friendly?”

Robin laughed and nodded. “Sure can.”

The scene changed again and the day continued as Cap remembered. Eventually the trip to the zoo ended and ‘Present!Kitty’ appeared back on the screen.

“And that was my zoo trip! It was a lot of fun and all the animals were very pretty. And you guys got to meet my group, I love them all so much, they’ve really felt like they’re my family now. I’m not entirely sure how much of them they will appear in future videos, but it’s always nice to introduce you too them cause they’re all so greaaat.” Kitty waved her hands in emphasis as she said that. “Though Thomas will definitely reappear.” Kitty laughed and shook her head. “Well, that’s it from me, I hope you’ve had a great day. Byeeeee!” Kitty waved and the video ended.

That was quite sweet, really. Cap hummed. He might encourage her to vlog the meetup group more often.

Chapter Text

“For our next meet-up we’ve decided to do a baking competition.” Cap said.

“It’s for the spirit of the finale of The Great British Bake-Off, we thought it would be fun.” Pat said. “There doesn’t have to be anything amazing, it’s all just a bit of fun.”

“What we were thinking was you’d all try each cake or bun and then you can vote for your top three favourites.” Cap said.

“And of course, you don’t have to bake anything, feel free not to.” Pat added.

“That will be good.” Mary said. “I’ve already gots some good ideas for whats to make.”

“You always got good cakes.” Robin said.

“Thank you,” Mary smiled. “I gots a big cake book.”

“Well I can cook anything.” Julian said, leaning back.

Thomas burst into laughter, across the table from him. “No you can’t.”

“Yes I can!” Julian snapped.

“You really can’t.”

“How dare you!” Julian slammed his hands on the table. “Just you watch, I’ll make the best thing at the event… After Mary, of course.”

“You’ll never be as good as me.” Mary said.

“I know,” Julian said. “But I can be damn close.”

“So,” Cap said loudly. “It’ll be next Sunday, starting at 1800 hours-”

“Oh, that’s 8pm isn’t it?” Kitty asked.

“No, it’s 6pm, Katherine.” Cap said, stopping himself from sighing.

“So, we’ll meet here at 6pm next Sunday if that’s okay with everyone.” Pat said.

“And remember, we’ve gotta make the cakes as gay as possible.” Humphrey said at the back of the room.

“Yeah, that too.” Pat laughed.

Everyone nodded and finally settled down as they agreed on the time. Both Mike and Alison decided, loudly, that they were coming, but due to the fact they were at work pretty much every single daytime before that evening, they wouldn’t be able to bring any cakes. Both Adam and Robin lamented that they wouldn’t be able to attend, due to being at work that evening (or in Robin’s case, the night). Julian was assuring Robin that he’d bring him some slices and Cap was already trying to figure out just how many buns he could shove into his bag for Adam.

As Cap set up the projector for the next TED Talk he saw Julian lean across to Margot.

“I’m sure you’re going to be the best baker here, even with Mary.” Julian said.

Margot hummed and her eyes seemed to go wide.

“Oh, er, yeah.” Margot shifted in her seat. “I’ll do you proud.”

Julian grinned. “I bet you will.”

As Cap turned back to the projector, the last thing he saw of a look of intense emotion flash across Margot’s face for a split second. Was that fear or worry?

He didn’t have time to dwell on it, as Humphrey was by his side, going down, by a list, of points of his TED Talk at a faster speed then Cap care to keep up with.

“Sure, that’s good.” Cap said, having not heard a single word.

“Good, glad you’re happy with it.” Humphrey said, smiling.

Okay, so next time Cap needed to listen to Humphrey’s overview of his TED Talk.

All he was doing was talking about how bad the final season of Game of Thrones was.

I mean, Cap agreed. It just didn’t have anything to do with the point of the meet-up group.

It was 10am on Sunday morning and Cap had been awake for 2 hours, attempting to bake a cake (he had also gone to bed gone 12 last night, cutting out the scoring boards they were going to use Sunday evening).

It had gone wrong about 3 times.

“What do you mean, recipe?” Cap growled as he tried to follow the webpage. “Are you going to describe how to do that?”

Evidently, the author had decided not to give a description of how to actually do the actions needed.

This made it even worse when his phone started to ring and his recipe disappeared.

It was Adam calling him so Cap supposed he could allow it.

“Hiya, how’s your cake going? ” Adam asked. “You kept texting me at 8, I’m sure you’ve finished already.”

“I wish,” Cap muttered. “It keeps going wrong.”

“Aww, it can’t be that bad.” Adam said. “Keep the next one and I’m coming down. I’ll see how it is.”

“It is bad, I’m following the recipe to the letter and it’s still coming out bad. I’ve been putting in the exact amount of materials it calls for and it’s just-” Cap sighed.

“So the first thing I recommend is don’t follow the recipe exactly. For measurements, just ‘that’ll do I guess’ and that’ll help.” Adam said.

“But the recipe is there for a reason-” Cap tried to argue.

“No, trust me, this will work.” Adam said. “You’ve just got to feel it.”

Cap hummed.

“Would you like to wait until I’ve gotten there to try again? ” Adam asked.

“Go on then.” Cap said. “I can finally have a coffee.”

Adam laughed gently down the phone. “I’ll be over in an hour, try not to drink all of it. I’ll want some when I get there.”

With Adam there, it helped a lot…

...

Adam really helped with the recipe…

…

Adam made the cake.

He had made an executive decision that Cap had wasted far too many ingredients and so perhaps it would be best if he took over, go and have a sit down, Cap, I’m sure the previous 3 and a half attempts were good, but I’m sure attempt number 4 is going to be perfect.

Cap had tried to argue, this was his cake, he should be putting in the effort, but Adam had just kissed him and sent him off, saying it was an apology for not being able to go tonight (work calls after all). 

It only took Adam an hour and he had already finished. Cap had insisted on helping so Adam had him washing up constantly. It was also at this point that Julian started to text him constantly.

‘i cant wait to see what margot makes ’

‘i bet shes going to be the best ’

‘hey cap ive texted her saying ‘i cant wait to your stuff i bet its going to be delicious, mines awful but dont worry ill buy you something nice’ im telling you this now so if you overhear her saying im going to buy her something to make up for mine being bad dont expect me to buy you anything its only margot and robin who im buying cake for ’

‘caaaaap margots not texting me back do you think she haaaates me??????????????? ’

‘cap please im having a crisis she hates me and doesnt want to speak to me ’

‘i dont know what i did wrong perhaps she hates people complimenting her baking skills cause it so effortless to her that shed rather people compliment her other stuff ’

‘ive complimented her uni work now too ’

‘cap shes still not getting back to me pls help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ’

‘YOURE not getting back to me either ’

‘I KNOW YOU DONT HATE ME TEXT ME BACK ’

‘Julian, shut up and bake a cake.’

308.

“I think that’s done.” Adam said. “Just be careful when you take it. Say you made it.”

“You know me, of course I’ll be careful. And I’m going to say you made it. It’s the truth.” Cap said. He leant over and kissed Adam. Hmm, Adam had flour on his face.

Adam laughed and kissed Cap back. “Mmm, say it’s from both of us.”

“I think that might be the best solution. What time did you have to go to work?” Cap asked. His phone was dinging a few more times. Shut up, Julian. He had more important things going on right now.

“I have to be at work at 3.”

“It’s just gone 12,” Cap grinned and kissed him again. “We still have a couple of hours.”

“Mmm, that we do.”

Soon it was the evening and Cap spent about 10 minutes trying to figure out what would be the best way to load the cake into the car. He didn’t want all of Adam’s hard work to go flying if he had to brake slightly hard.

He figured it out eventually and set off to the cafe he had booked out.

He arrived at the cafe around 15 minutes before everyone was supposed to get there and helped the store manager rearrange the cafe to set the cakes up. He then set his cake up and his little notice of what it was and that it was made by both him and Adam.

The first to arrive was Mary, carrying a wicker basket covered in a blanket.

“Here, Mary.” Cap said, handing her a piece of cardboard. “Write out what it is and what’s in it for allergy reasons.”

Mary nodded and took a table, setting about writing everything down.

After that, the rest of them started to trickle in. Pat had seemingly given Julian and Margot a lift. Probably for the best, Cap dread to think what it would be like trying to protect the baking in Julian’s open-topped car.

Eventually everyone who was coming had arrived and they had all set up their baking.

Well, all except Margot. I mean, she had at least set up her ingredients and allergy warnings at the front. That’s something at least.

“Come on, I can’t wait to see it, and taste it.” Julian seemed to be whining early today. “Oh, come on, Margot. Cake time! Show us the masterpiece.”

“No, Julian.” Margot all but snapped. “I mean, not right now. Let’s go get a coffee first.”

Julian looked slightly dejected but perked back up when Margot pushed him over to the bar.

Eventually everyone got their drinks and Cap waved his hands in the air to get their attention.

“So what we’re planning is for the next hour or so we’ll be trying each of the cakes and decide on which ones are your favourites. Then we just write them all down in a list of favourites. We can then count them and then we would have the winner.” Cap explained.

“The winner of the Gay British Bake Off.” Alison laughed.

“Oh that’s a good one.” Mike said, “wish I’d have thought of that.”

“I know, I thought of it on the way here.” Alison said. “Sorry, Cap. Go on.”

“... That’s pretty much everything I wanted to say.” Cap muttered. “Go, eat cake.”

And with that, everyone scattered to grab a plate.

“Hey, Cap.” Julian said, hovering a slice of Pat’s cake in front of his face. Thankfully he was waiting to talk before he ate. “Can I vote on Robin’s behalf?”

“What, no?” Cap said. “You get one vote.”

“But I know exactly what Robin would like, I can vote exactly as he would.” Julian cried.

Mmm, yeah, Cap was sure Robin would pick Margot as number one.

“One vote only, Julian. I’m not voting on Adam’s behalf.”

“Fine.” Julian grumbled, and Cap was sure he could hear him say ‘spoilsport’ as he slouched away.

Finally Cap was able to try the baked treats.

Naturally, Mary’s was the best.

Like, really good.

Cap needed to get some bagged up for Adam before they all disappeared.

“Come on, Margot.” Julian was still whining. “We all want to try you stuff, come on, you haven’t even got them out of the bag.”

“Julian-” Margot hissed but then everyone else also started.

“Come Margot, we might as well try them.”

“Yeah, come on, we’re here now.”

“Please can we try them. Oh, I’ll give you a slice of mine.”

“Kitty, she’s already had a slice of yours.”

“Oh yes, she has, hasn’t she.”

“Okay,” Margot cried. “Fine. Here you go.” And she pulled a box out of the bag and opened it up to reveal biscuits.

Well, they… looked like a consistent size.

“They look nice!” Pat said brightly.

“Oh, they do.” Kitty beamed and reached for one but Julian beat her to it.

“They look delicious.” He said, picking one up. He then brought it to his mouth and bit down on it.

He bit down hard.

Cap winced at the sound of the crack of the biscuit. He guessed they weren’t meant to sound like that.

Julian slowly crunched for a few moments before giving a shaky thumbs up. “They taste delicious.”

Margot folded her arms and quickly turned to Kitty. “What is your again?”

“Oh, mine’s carrot cake!” Kitty said excitedly. “Come have a slice.”

Kitty almost looked like she was going to pull Margot to her cake, but Margot practically power walked across the room to it before Kitty could even move.

Kitty blinked and then beamed. “I made it last night. It took me about 2 hours. It’s my favourite cake, I make it all the time.”

“That’s very interesting, Kitty.” Margot said loudly. “Isn’t Kitty’s cake interesting.”

“Yes it is.” Pat said, motioning for everyone to wander over there. “It is a lot.”

Everyone drifted away from Margot’s box and Cap watched as Julian continued to chew what was in his mouth before putting the remaining biscuit on his plate and… covered it with what was left of Humphrey’s.

“It’s good.” Julian muttered when he noticed Cap watching him.

Cap hummed.

“It is.” Julian insisted. “I’m just saving it… for later.”

“Sure you are, Julian.”

The night continued and Cap started to collect everyone’s scores. He and Pat sat down and counted the results a few times before finalising the results.

No surprise.

Mary won.

By like, a long stretch.

What was surprising however, was that Humphrey came second, with Fanny coming third and- EH? Why did Julian come fourth?????!!

“Fine, let’s go tell them.” Cap said, folding the scorecards away.

“Aw, I came 5th.” Pat said, looking down the scoreboard.

“And I came 7th, how dare they.” Cap said. Adam worked so hard on that cake.

They got up and gathered everyone around into a circle to reveal the results.

There was a murmur of agreement as Cap announced Mary had won.

“And now you get the famous Cap Handshake.” Alison said. “It’s like the Paul Hollywood Handshake, but like, better.”

“I’ve already taken some of yours for Adam.” Cap said as he shook Mary’s hand.

“That’s okay. I can always makes more for him if he wants.” Mary said.

“I might take you up on that.”

The group then proceeded to clear up and stored the tables and seats back to their original location, much to the joy of the store manager.

That was when:

“Where’s Margot?” Julian asked. “She’s gone? Where’s she gone?”

“Probably toilet.” Cap said.

“No, Alison just went in there. There’s only one.” Julian said. “Margot’s gone. Where’s she gone?” Julian started to sound panicking.

“Okay, fine, let’s go and find her.” Cap eventually said and the pair left the building, out onto the street.

It didn’t take too long to find her. She was just around the corner, leaning against the side of a building.

“What are you doing out?” Julian asked, hurrying to her side. “It’s cold out.”

“It’s fine.” Margot muttered.

“Come on, why don’t you come back inside. We’re just packing up.” Julian said.

“No, I can just wait out here.”

“Aw, why? You’ve got your stuff in there.”

“It’s fine. Just bin them… Not my bag. Bring my bag out.”

“Why bin them? We can take them home and have them later-”

“No, we can.” Margot snapped. “Because, as I’m sure you’re aware, I can’t bake. And you just kept telling me and telling me how much you are looking forward to what I make and I can’t do it and I let you down-”

Mmm, this is probably not the sort of conversation Cap should be here for. Margot wouldn’t like him being here for an outburst like this.

He started to back away when Julian said.

“You could never let me down.”

Margot made a hmph sound and raised her head to look at him.

“I said, you could never let me down,” Julian repeated. “Everything you do amazes me. I adore everything about you, you’re so great, I know everything you do is spectacular-”

Julian couldn’t reach the end of his sentence. Mainly because Margot had flung herself at him and kissed him.

Almost immediately, Julian grabbed hold of her and was kissing her back.

Cap really decided he shouldn’t be here and continued to back away all the way back to the cafe.

“Here, Cap, here’s your stuff.” Pat said, holding Cap’s bag and looking ready to go. Many of the others were indeed walking out of the cafe. “Where’s Julian and Margot disappeared to? I think I was giving them a lift back home.”

“I think they might be a while.” Cap coughed. “They’re currently indisposed at the moment.”

“Oh why?” Pat was then silent for a moment before gasping. “Has it happened?”

Cap groaned and nodded.

“Ahh!” Pat clapped and practically jumped up and down. “And without a plan too!”

“Actually, I think Adam’s plan actually worked.” Cap said. “His one of ‘do nothing’.”

“You’re right!” Pat chirped. “Well done to Adam.”

“You head off home. If they want a lift, I guess I’ll give them a lift.” Cap said, taking his bag from Pat.

“Okay, no problem.” Pat said. “Have a nice rest of your night. Tell Adam ‘congratulations’ from me.”

“I will do. Have a nice night, Pat.”

And with that, Pat left, leaving the cafe empty.

Cap collected Margot’s and Julian’s stuff and thanked the manager before also leaving.

He quickly found Margot and Julian again, with Julian pushed against the wall and they were almost aggressively making out.

Cap shook his head. Well, he can’t be standing around here all night.

“Hey!” He barked, and the pair of them jumped apart, though they were still holding onto the other.

“Here’s your stuff.” Cap said, raising their bags up. “Do you want a lift home or are you staying out?

“Wanna stay out?” Julian asked, rubbing his hands up and down Margot’s arms.

“Yeah, but it’s still early, we can always go back and pick up your car so we can actually get home after.” Margot said.

“Aww, then I can’t drink.” Julian whined.

“But taxis are expensive for you.” Both Margot and Cap said at the same time.

“And besides, if you’re drunk you’re not paying enough attention to me.” Margot said, poking Julian’s chest.

“Alright! Let’s go and grab my car.” Julian said, grinning at Cap. “Give us a lift back to mine.”

‘A life back’ turned into ‘help me fix my car, Cap’.

Margot took Julian’s flat keys and disappeared to drop their stuff off as Cap and Julian attempted to pull the roof of the car up.

They were trying for around 5 minutes when it became clear it was just not budging.

“Nope, nope, I just can’t do it.” Julian eventually gasped, doubling over, glaring at the car.

“You just need to take it into the shop.” Cap said.

“It’s expensive.” Julian moaned. “I might try it again with a crowbar.” Then he thought. “I bet Robin will have a crowbar- OH!” He dug his phone out of his pocket and furiously tapped on it before lifting it to his ear. There was a moment of silence, then-

“ROBIN, I- MARGOT- WE- Robin! We kissed, we’re going out!” Julian practically shouted. “Yes, right now! ... I know! I’m so excited- So so SO excited! … She did! … Very!! … Hah, I’m sure we will … Hope your work is good tonight. Okay … you too!- Okay, don’t have a horrible night at work at least … I missed you tonight … Yes, even with what happened I still miss you … Okay, see to you later … Night!” Then Julian hung up the phone. “Robin’s excited.” He said to Cap.

“I guessed. Pat was as well.” Cap said. “Right, I guess I’ll head off, then… Congratulations, I guess.”

“You sound ecstatic.” Julian said, but he smiled nonetheless. “Thanks, Cap.”

There was a jingle of keys and Margot appeared back besides Julian, taking hold of Julian’s arm.

“Ready to go?” She asked. “Thank you for the lift back, Cap.”

“No problem.” Cap muttered. “You two have a nice night, okay.”

“We will do.” Julian said, grinning and Margot pulled Julian’s arm slightly, knocking him into her side.

“You too, Cap.” Margot said, a slight smile on her face herself.

Cap waved and returned back to his car. As he got in, he caught sight of the pair of them, once again, almost aggressively making out. Cap shook his head and pulled his phone out to send a quick text to Adam before leaving.

‘You were right. We did your plan of no-action to get Julian and Margot together. It worked! ’

Chapter Text

Tonight’s TED Talk had dissolved into less of a lecture and more of a free for all as several of the members were all sharing their stories on changing their names.

“Everyone made fun of me for picking ‘Humphrey’, look, I am not a medieval nobleman. But did anyone believe me, no.” Humphrey said, banging his fists on the table. “I know I dressed like on that one time (several times) but still.”

“Why did you pick ‘Humphrey’ anyway?” Alison asked.

Humphrey drummed his fingers against the table. And then. “It’s after a… medieval… nobleman.”

The group burst into laughter.

“Oh right, right. Laugh why don’t you!” Humphrey shouted.

And so everyone did.

Eventually, everyone settled down, ignoring Humphrey banging his fists on the table again.

“Mike, what about you?” Pat asked.

“Oh, me? I changed my name pretty much as soon as I turned 18.” Mike said. “I mean it’s only about £30, I got it before my provisional, otherwise I’d have just had to pay again for the name change.”

“It doesn’t cost anything.” Cap said.

“It what?” Mike blinked.

“It doesn’t cost anything to change your name on a driving licence.” Cap said. “It costs to change your photo but not your name.”

“No!” Mike exclaimed. “You mean I could have learnt how to drive at 17?”

“Yes.”

“Ahhh!” Mike dropped his head onto the table with a loud thump. “I can’t believe that!”

Alison sighed and patted Mike on the back. “What about you, Mary?” She asked.

“Is changed my name when Is was about 14, named myself after my great-aunt. Again, changed it whens Is turned 18.” Mary said. “And changed my driving licence for free then too.”

“Aww, that’s sweet.” Alison smiled.

“Yes it is.” Pat said, clapping his hands, glancing around to see if anyone else was going to say anything before he moved on.

“Oh,” Robin said, and Pat lowered his hands to allow him to talk. “I told parents, moving to West Europe, need western name, so picked Robin. They didn’t know it was gender neutral until they moved here.”

“I didn’t know that was your chosen name.” Julian said, cocking his head. Margot, who was leaning against him, frowned and lifted her head to stare at Julian. She opened her mouth to say something but Robin beat her to it.

“You think ‘Robin’ is Ukrainian name?” Robin said.

“Yes, Julian, please tell us how you thought ‘Robin’ was used in Ukraine.” Margot said.

“What- I- I- no, I- Cap, what’s your story? The- the one behind ‘Captain’ I mean?” Julian spluttered.

“I was a captain!” Cap snapped.

“‘Was’? Why did you leave the army?”

“That’s none of your business.” Cap grunted, folding his arms. “We’re moving on now, unless anybody else has any name changing stories.”

Everyone muttered ‘no’.

“Okay,” Pat said, standing up to face the group. “Cause I’ve got to announce that next place we’re going.” He clapped his hands and grinned. “Big Fun!”

“Big Fun?” Thomas cried. “That’s for children.”

“Yeah it is. But every Thursday from 7pm to 9pm, it’s Adult’s Night! So we can all go have a good run and climb around for a couple of hours.” Pat said.

“Is this a secret Forced Exercise?” Mike asked, raising his head from the table.

“It’s a fun exercise.” Pat said. “I thought we could play a big game of Tig when we’re there.”

“And remembering how most of you were during the paint balling we did, I’m sure none of you will be able to escape for very long.” Cap said.

“I hunt everyone down.” Robin said, “you’re all lousy prey.”

“I doubt you’ll be able to catch me.” Cap said, folding his arms. “I’ve been trained not to get caught and hardly ever am.”

“Will catch you though.” Robin muttered.

Cap scowled and stood up to stand next to Pat. “We shall be meeting at the play area, we’re allowed in at 1900 hours and it is £3 to enter, Julian I’m sure you can buy £3 yourself.”

“But Cap-” Julian whined but Cap continued regardless.

“I also expect everyone to try the drop slide.” Cap said. “It’s a challenge I imagine everyone should be up to.”

“I am not going on that drop slide.” Fanny said. “I completely refuse and you are not going to make me.”

“Oh, come on, Fanny. It’s just a little vertical drop, I’m sure you’ll cope with it.” Alison said.

“I’d love to do the slide.” Kitty chirped. “That should be really fun!”

“It’s quite a long vertical drop, Kitty.” Alison said.

“Changed your tune there, first it’s a little, then it’s long.” Mike said, nudging Alison, who in turn laughed and pushed him aside.

“So, this Thursday we’ll all be going to Big Fun-”

“- For Forced Exercise.” Thomas inputted.

Cap scowled and continued on regardless. “I expect to see you all there. Now that’s an order.”

Everyone groaned but Cap was sure they’d turn up.

Everyone did indeed turn up. There were a few other groups of people there too but not too much, they practically had a fun run of the place.

Julian was also paying for himself which Cap was pleasantly surprised to see. Until of course, both Margot and Robin said they gave him £1.50 towards it.

Unfortunately Adam couldn’t make it due to work, but at least he got a three day weekend after this.

After a lot of squabbling over who gets what locker, eventually everyone was ready to run around.

“I think,” Alison said. “We should nominate Cap to be It.”

“Absolutely. Cap should be It.” Julian agreed.

“Yes, I think so too.” Kitty said, swinging from side to side.

“Yes, that’ll do.” Thomas muttered with Mike nodding alongside him. The pair already looked exhausted.

“Now come on, I think we should have a more fair way of selecting, rock paper scissors, for example. It’ll be a lot more fun too, having the mystery of who will be It. Get the adrenaline going..” Pat said.

“No, Cap shoulds be It.” Mary said.

“It is a fair way of selecting,” Margot said. “We’ve had a vote, and the majority says Cap should be It.”

“Sorry, Cap.” Pat shrugged. “I guess you’re It.”

“I gathered.” Cap said, folding his arms. Then he sighed. He walked into the play area, picked up a ball from the pit below a slide and returned to the group. “How we’ll do it is, whoever's It will have the ball. That way we can all keep a grip on who’s it and it won’t get confusing. And you can’t tag the person who was just It. That’s so we don’t get stuck in a back and forth. I’ll give you all a 30 second head start. Get going.” At that, everyone scrambled to run away as fast as they could. “And don’t lose your locker key!” He shouted after them.

He sighed again and counted to 30. Then he uncrossed his arms and marched into the play area.

Almost immediately he caught sight of Kitty and took off running after her. She screeched and started to run.

Thought not as fast as Cap.

He could hear her giggling as she jumped over some foam cubes and darted around the corner. Cap wheeled around it, ready to pounce, but had to screech to a halt as some of the other people who were there darted across the path, crossing from rope bridge to rope bridge.

By the time they had passed, Kitty had disappeared.

Cap continued to stalk onwards, until he saw Alison down the hallway, starting to climb a ladder. Cap lowered himself and started to creep forward, picking up speed as he got closer.

It was only as he was practically on top of her did Alison finally notice him.

“Ah, Cap, get lost!” She cried and tried to climb the ladder faster.

But just like Kitty, she wasn’t fast enough.

Cap reached up and tigged her.

“I told you you wouldn’t be able to escape from me for very long.” Cap said, throwing her the ball. “The only reason I didn’t get Kitty was because other people blocked me off.”

“Oh really? And can you confirm that?”

Cap scowled. “Go hunt your prey, Alison.”

“Yes sir.” Alison said, mock saluting. She climbed up the rest of the ladders and disappeared out of sight. Hmm, perhaps Cap will try that drop slide now.

He wandered over to it and saw Pat and Thomas hovering by the slide. They caught sight of him and and gasped, going to run away until Cap lifted his hands to show them he didn’t have the ball.

“Who’s It now?” Thomas asked.

“Now I can’t tell. You’ll have to pay attention and see who has the ball yourself.” Cap said. “And besides, the person I tagged might have already gotten someone else.”

“But they might not have gotten someone else, they might be coming up for us now, it’s best we know.” Thomas tried.

“No. Pay attention.” Cap repeated. He glanced down the drop slide. “Are either of you going for it?”

“Thinking about it.” Pat said.

“Thinking about it isn’t going to get you down that drop slide, Patrick. You have to do it.” And with that Cap reached the edge and settled down on it, taking up the proper position. He glanced at the bored looking staff member, who gave him a once over then nodded. Then Cap pushed off and flew down the slide.

Coming to a stop, and once his stomach had caught up with him, Cap got up and waved up at Pat and Thomas. He left the slide, patting his hair to settle it as he did so.

He wandered back into the play area and decided to go exploring. It had been years since he had been here.

Cap had been wandering around for a few minutes, before finding himself in the middle of a rope bridge when Mary suddenly appeared at the end of the bridge. The ball in hand.

“Aha!” Cap grabbed hold of the ropes and started to pull himself across the bridge as fast as he could. Mary hot on his trail.

The bridge swung wildly as the pair tried to scramble across it faster than the other.

Mary was quick.

She had nearly caught up.

Cap managed to reach the end and dragged himself off the bridge, pelting away as fast as he could go.

He sprinted down the corridors, hurtling himself over the foam blocks and throwing himself down one of the pits in the ground and continuing onwards as soon as he stopped falling.

Eventually he stopped running. He seemed to have lost Mary.

Cap panted and straightened himself up.

He told them they wouldn’t be able to catch him.

He continued to explore, stopping to help Humphrey up when he accidentally walked into a foam block and fell over.

Soon Cap found himself back at the drop slide. Some of the other visitors were queuing to go down it, with Robin at the end of the queue.

“Not been It yet.” Robin said, grinning.

“I was It for around 5 minutes.” Cap said. “And most of that was starting out finding someone.”

Robin nodded and the two moved forward as somebody else went down the slide.

“Don’t know where Julian is either.”

“Yes, well, I can imagine where he is.” Cap muttered. He hadn’t seen Margot either.

“Looking forward to going back to Ukraine?” Cap asked, shaking his head. Robin was preparing to go out for a two week trip for a family reunion in Kyiv for Christmas, leaving just before New Years.

“No. Cold.” Robin grunted. “Suppose to be below 0 for entire time.”

“Oh.” Cap muttered. “Well it’s still three weeks before you go, it might change.”

“Might do. Too use to British weather.”

Quickly it was Robin’s turn to go down the drop slide. He grinned at Cap and practically threw himself down it, just not doing so as the staff member went into a flurry to try and get him to go down properly.

Once Robin had not killed himself on the drop slide, it was Cap up again. The staff member waved him through as he took the correct position again. He pushed off and flew down the slide, once again leaving his stomach behind.

Once he stopped and his stomach returned to him, Cap got out of the slide area, immediately coming face to face with Alison. Robin was gone.

“Hi Cap.” Alison beamed.

“Hello, Alison.” Cap said.

She grinned even more and clapped him on the shoulder and- oh, she was holding the ball.

“You’re It.” She said, shoving the ball into his hand and skipping off back into the play area.

Cap huffed and glanced back to the drop slide. Nope, nobody else coming down there. Hmm, Robin couldn’t have gotten far.

Cap ventured back into the play area in search of new prey.

It didn’t take him long to find Kitty again, who screeched when she saw him and took off laughing.

Kitty jumped over some foam arches and Cap wasn’t sure exactly what happened, she must have missed one of the steps he guessed, but Kitty crashed down from the top of the arch, face-first, onto the floor.

“Good God, Katherine, are you alright?” Cap asked, hauling himself over the arch to get to her.

Immediately Kitty jumped to her feet, gave Cap a thumbs up, and started to run again.

“Oi, Katherine!” Cap shouted. “We have to check if you’re okay.”

When she didn’t listen to him, Cap started to chase after her again. To see if she was alright, of course.

They continued to run until- now Cap absolutely did not see the hole in the floor until he was already halfway down it. He tumbled down the levels, slapping into the foam platforms as he did.

Eventually he rolled to a halt, groaning slightly in pain.

“Jeez, Cap, way to come crashing in.”

Ah, Julian.

Cap groaned again and opened his eyes to see Julian and Margot in what Cap had now dubbed their ‘aggressive making out pose’. Julian was pushed back against the netting and thank God this was facing a closed off wall.

Cap sat up, hissing at the pain in his side.

“Robin was looking for you.” He said, deciding the only way to continue was as if he wasn’t talking to them whilst they were tangled together. 309- THIS IS A PUBLIC PLACE, JULIAN.

“He was?” Julian yapped, his voice laced with excitement.

“Yes, and do you know what else.” Cap said. He stood up and walked towards them. Then he lifted his hand and placed it on Julian’s shoulder. “You’re It.” Revealing the ball in his other hand.

Immediately, Margot jumped away from Julian as if he burnt to touch, and shot off almost as fast.

“Thank you for that, Captain.” Julian drawled.

“You’re welcome.”

Cap rubbed his side and limped towards the exit, Julian stomping alongside him.

“I’m going to go sit down for a bit, you go be It.” Cap said, pushing Julian away from him and towards the play area.

“But Cap-” Julian tried to whine, but Cap pushed Julian again. Julian nearly stumbled over a foam pad and cried again at Cap.

“Go and find Margot or Robin then.”

“But they’ll gang up on me!”

Only when Cap rolled his eyes and waved his hand did Julian give up on moaning and took off running back into the play area.

Cap managed to reach a table before he collapsed into a chair. Oh, his side was going to bruise from that.

“Hey, given up already?”

Cap looked up to see both Mike and Thomas sat at his table, seemingly exhausted but had probably only been in the play area for about 5 minutes.

“I fell down a hole.” Cap muttered. He glanced at the clock to see they had been there an hour already. “Have either of you been down the drop slide?”

“Errr,” Mike erred. “I know Thomas hasn’t. He told me earlier.”

Thomas gasped. “I did not! I did not tell you that.”

“Well then, have you or have you not been down the drop slide?” Cap asked.

Thomas coughed and spluttered before finally standing up. “I’m not going to respond to such accusations.”

He stormed off only to be replaced by Kitty, who groaned and dropped her head on the table. “My knee and chest hurts.”

“What’s up?” Mike asked.

“She fell over.” Cap answered. “Where in your chest does it hurt?”

“Here.” Kitty said, but with her head still planted on the table Cap couldn’t tell where.

“Lift your head up and show us.” He said.

Kitty sat up and pointed at her collarbone. “Here.”

“Can you move your shoulder? Or is it difficult to move them?” Cap asked.

Kitty rolled her shoulders then nodded.

“Does it hurt when you do that?” Mike asked.

Kitty shook her head. “It’s easy like always too.”

“Can you hear any cracking or grinding when you move them?” Cap asked.

“Eww, no.”

“And can you feel any lumps or bulges around that area or the shoulder area?”

“Eww.”

“See for me, Katherine.”

Kitty shuddered and pressed around her collarbone and shoulder. “Nope.”

“You’ve probably not broken it, but I’d keep an eye on it.” Cap concluded.

“Oh good.” Kitty beamed.

At this point Pat showed up, carrying a couple of water bottles.

“I went down the drop slide, Cap.” He announced, taking a seat at their table, sliding one of the water bottles to Kitty. “It’s good, I think I might go on it again.”

“That’s good.” Cap muttered.

“And Fanny went down before me.” Pat said, “I don’t know if she enjoyed it but she went down.”

“That’s 3 of you then.” Cap said.

“I think Ali was planning to go down as well.” Mike said.

“And I bet Mary’s been down too.” Kitty added.

“Hmm, I’m guessing so.” Cap mused.

Pat passed his water bottle to Cap, who took a few swigs of it and stood up.

“I’m going to head back in.” He said. The pain in his side seemed to have gone down.

The others waved and he reentered the play area.

It didn’t take him long until he found Alison.

“Alison I- Alison- Aliso- Alison I’m not It. I just want to know if you’ve been down the drop slide.”

“Oh,” Alison stopped running away. “Yeah, I have.”

“Good, that’s all I’m checking.” Cap nodded and marched off to find the rest.

As soon as Mary saw him, she raised a hand and pointed at him.

“I’ve been down the drop slide.” She practically shouted. “Is knows that’s what yous are wanting.”

“Yes, it was.”

“Is don’t think Thomas has been down.”

Cap sighed. “Yes, thank you for that, Mary.”

“Or Mike.”

“Yes, thank you Mary.”

Mary suddenly stilled, blinked, then ran off. A couple of seconds later, Fanny ran after her, ball in hand, seemingly not noticing Cap.

Cap sighed and continued onwards until Margot came crashing into him, Robin behind her.

“Sorry Cap.” Margot gasped, almost laughing. She stepped around him, grabbed hold of Robin and the pair disappeared down the corridor.

Cap frowned and didn’t get his answer until a few seconds later, when Julian also came crashing into him.

“Ow, Cap, don’t stand in the middle of the walkway.” Julian grunted, rubbing his head.

“You’re not It.” Cap said.

“No I’m not, but I told you, they’d gang up on me. And they did!” Julian cried. “They led me to a dead-end, managed to confuse me enough to run into a net and fall into a ball pit. I managed to get Fanny on the way out but now I’m just here for vengeance.”

“Well, good luck with that.” Cap said. “Have you been down the drop slide?”

“Cap, I’m pouring my heart out about my betrayal.”

“And whilst you’re doing that, go down the drop slide.” Cap said. “And tell Margot to go down it too.”

Julian whined, but started to run again, back in search of Margot and Robin.

Cap did a loop of the play area before arriving back at the entrance, where he saw Humphrey doubled over.

“Ah, Cap- I- ow- went down the drop slide.” Humphrey said. “Didn’t go down properly, hurt my shoulder a bit but I did it.”

“Well, done.” Cap said. “Go and have a sit down.”

“Will- ow, will do.”

Humphrey hobbled off and Cap heard Margot shriek, followed by Robin. Ah, Julian must have caught them then. He feared what he was doing to them but couldn’t be bothered to go and find out.

Cap arrived at the table to see Alison, Mary and Fanny all sat there, sharing the last of the water. Humphrey had sat next to Kitty and they were both groaning in pain.

“Just a break.” Alison said, panting hard as she lent against Mike.

“I’ve never been so out of breaths in my life.” Mary muttered.

“Ow- I think I might call it a night.” Humphrey grunted.

“Can you give me a lift home.” Kitty asked, “knee hurts.”

Humphrey nodded and the pair got up.

“I’ll see you guys later.” Kitty chirped, waving as she and Humphrey left.

“Hmm, I think we might call it a night too.” Alison said, “I don’t actually think I have anything left in me to go around that again.”

“Oh, yeah, yeah, time to go.” Mike muttered.

“No,” Cap said. “You can’t go. Michael, you haven’t been down the drop slide. Michael. Michael!”

But Mike grabbed hold of Alison’s hand and practically ran away as Cap continued to shout after him.

Cap grumbled and span back to the table. “You’ve all been on the-”

“Yes.” Everyone chorus before Cap had finished.

It was then when Julian, Margot and Robin appeared at the table, all three of them breathless and giggling. Cap didn't even want to think of what might have been happening there.

“Is everyone having fun?” Julian asked, panting hard.

“Tired.” Mary muttered. “I thinks I mights make call it a night too.”

“Yes, we think we might also... call it a night.” Margot said, taking hold of Julian’s hand.

“Yes... call it a night.” Julian repeated.

“Have you-” Cap started to ask.

“No, Cap, I have not been down the drop slide and I don’t intend to.” Julian snapped, before grinning. “I don’t think Thomas has yet though. Now, if you’d excuse us, we’re going to go home. Goodnight everyone.” He then raised his free hand and ran it through Robin’s hair. “I’ll speak to you tomorrow, okay.”

They then waved and also left. Giving them a couple of seconds head start, Mary followed suit.

Hmmm. Where had Thomas gotten too?

“Okay, that’s it.” Cap said. “I’m going to make Thomas go down the drop slide if it kills me.” He stood and reentered the play area. It didn’t take him long to find Thomas.

Thomas was sat at the top of a pair of ladders and seemed so caught up in his melodrama that he didn’t notice Cap appear.

“Thorne!” Cap barked and Thomas jumped with a start.

“Oh, what do you want?” Thomas cried.

Thomas tried to settle back down, but was stopped when Cap grabbed him by the shoulder.

“Drop. Slide.” Cap was pretty sure there were flames in his eyes but at this point he didn’t quite care. Thomas WAS going down the slide.

“Why do you care so much if I go down it or not?”

“Because both Michael and Julian ignored me, so you’re not going to.” Cap muttered, leading Thomas up and towards the drop slide, Thomas complaining all the way.

“Oh, you can’t expect me to really do this, can you?” Thomas cried as they reached the slide.

Cap glared and Thomas lent closer to the edge.

“Do I have to?”

“Can I push him?” Cap asked the staff member.

“It’s not usually recommended.” They muttered.

“But not forbidden.” Cap mused.

“No no no. Come on, Cap, you surely can’t mean for me to actually do this.” God, Thomas really looked like he was going to cry.

Cap sighed and stood aside. Thomas immediately darting past him.

“Okay, come on, let’s get out of here, half of them have left anyway.” Cap said, motioning for Thomas to move.

Thomas practically ran down the stairs, only turning around when he was safely at the bottom.

“You weren’t really going to push me, where you?” He asked.

“Come on, get a move on, Patrick might have some water left for you.” Cap said, completely dodging the question.

They arrived at the table to find it empty.

“Cap, over here.” Came Pat’s voice. Cap looked over to see Pat and the others at the lockers.

The pair made their way over to the lockers. Robin was already set to leave and was on his phone with a pained look in his face.

“I- You.. Jul- Jul-” Robin tried to say. “Julian, you need roof. Really loud on speaker, can’t hear you… Can’t hear you- … better Margot. I’m sure he did, dumbass. Knows he can’t talk in car, no roof, loud wind. Need anything? No… hah, tell him we talk tomorrow. Okay, goodnight.” Robin slipped his phone away and rubbed his ear. “Very loud.” Then he grinned. “See you later.” He waved and wandered outside.

“Yes, I shall be off too.” Fanny said. “That was… slightly fun.”

Cap huffed with laughter. “Good.”

Fanny nodded and also left.

“Pat, Cap also pushed me down the drop slide.” Thomas cried.

Cap folded his arms and glared at Thomas.

Pat stared at the pair of them, zipping up his coat.

“I think…” Pat said slowly. “That, he didn’t though, did he?”

“No, but-”

“Hey, that’s great.” Pat said. “So nobody got pushed down the drop slide. Great.”

“Indeed.” Cap muttered, taking his stuff out of the locker. He pulled his stuff on as Thomas continued to splutter.

“Fine, okay.” Thomas eventually gasped. “Never mind, I guess. I’ll just pretend you didn’t try to kill me.”

“The staff would have told you how to sit properly.” Cap said.

“And he didn’t. That’s the main thing.” Pat said.

Thomas continued to grumble but eventually shook his head. “I guess you wouldn’t have, really, pushed me.”

“And I’m sure he wouldn’t have.” Pat said, before Cap could hum with indecisiveness.

“I had a lot of fun with this.” Pat said, clapping his hands. “I think we might have to come back again some time.”

“Some time a lot later.” Both Cap and Thomas said in unison. Cap winced as the pain in his side shot up a bit.

The three left the building and waved as they separated for their cars. As soon as Cap got in his car he quickly checked his phone.

There was a message from Adam. ‘How was Big Fun? I’m guessing: very fun but you fell over and are now in a lot of pain.’

Cap let out a slight laugh and sent a text back.

‘You’re 100% right on everything. Why don’t you come on over and kiss my injuries better.’

Chapter Text

It was around 6pm when Cap and Adam arrived at Mary’s. The sun had set long ago, and even through it was nowhere near midnight, they had decided to get to Mary’s basement well before the fireworks started. They had never done this before but after finding out the basement was the best place to be to avoid the fireworks, Cap (once Mary agreed to it of course) immediately went and arranged for it. Cap expected Thomas to show up sooner rather than later, but as for the rest of them, well, in all honesty, he wasn’t particularly expecting them to show up. He knew the allure of a night out on the town was rather strong tonight.

It was New Year’s Eve and they were planning on partying.

“We brought wine.” Cap said, pushing the bottle into Mary’s hands.

“We actually brought two,” Adam said, lifting the second bottle up. “I know how much they all drink.”

“If they actually show up.” Cap grumbled.

“Oh, I’m sures they will.” Mary said.

“And if not, more for us, eh.” Adam added, pushing Cap into the house.

Mary went bustling off into the kitchen and Cap and Adam made their way into the living room. There was a guy stood in the room, staring at himself in the mirror. He caught sight of Cap and Adam and nearly jumped out of skin, spinning around. He looked younger than Mary so he must be her brother, Cap assumed.

“Maaaary.” The guy shouted. “Is thinks your friends are here.”

“Is know, Jack. Is let them in.” Came Mary’s exasperated voice from the kitchen.

“Oh, alright.” Jack muttered. “Err, do you wants to sit down?”

“Thanks.” Adam muttered and the two of them took a seat.

Jack was stood in the middle of the room, staring at them. “You havings a new years party?”

“Yes.” Cap said. “And as I dislike fireworks, this is the best place to be when they start in town.”

“Oh.” Jack said. “I’m going to a party.”

“Fascinating.” Cap grunted.

Mary came bustling back into the living room. “Oh, Jake, go and get ready.” She prodded him out the room and took a seat on the armchair opposite the sofa.

“We’ve gots lots of drinks ready,” Mary said.

“If anyone turns up.” Cap muttered again.

“And as I said, if they don’t. Then there’s more for us.” Adam said.

They chatted for a little while before there was a knock on the door.

“Oh, that’ll probably be Thomas.” Mary said. She got up and disappeared towards the front door. It wasn’t long until Cap heard Kitty’s giggling.

The it wasn’t long until Kitty came into the living room. Thomas trailing behind her.

“Hi Cap. Hi Adam! Happy new year!” Kitty cheered.

“It’s not New Years for another 5 and a half hours.” Thomas said.

“But it’s coming up.” Kitty said. “Isn’t it exciting. We’re looking at an entirely new year, a completely fresh start. I just can’t wait.”

“And there be the party too.” Mary said, coming back into the room.

“If anyone turns-” Cap started but Adam cut him off.

“They will. Don’t worry.”

“I’m not worrying.” Cap said. “I’m just stating a fact.”

“Well I know Alison is coming over,” Kitty said, beaming. “She told me yesterday.”

“Alison never told me.” Thomas whined.

“Has Alison ever told you anything?” Cap grunted. “Probably not. And with good reason too.”

Thomas gasped and there was banging from someone jumping down the stairs.

“Mary,” came Jack’s voice. “I be off-” He stopped as he came into the living room. “More friends,” he then muttered, stilling like a deer caught in headlights. His eyes flicked between them all. Clearly he wasn’t used to so many unfamiliar people at once.

“Okay, enjoys your night.” Mary said.

Jack nodded and disappeared out of the living room. Once the door slammed shut Mary pottered over to the kitchen.

“Anyone want snacks?” She asked.

The others, did in fact, turn up.

Pat turned up at 7pm on the dot, having also given Fanny a lift over. Humphrey was not too long behind. Alison and Mike turned up at 8:05pm whilst Julian and Margot showed up at 8:49pm.

“You’re late,” Cap snapped at Julian as they were practically in the middle of the doorway. “We’d arranged to meet up at 8pm.”

“I’m afraid that might have been my fault.” Margot said. “I was… doing things and just lost track of time.”

“Mmm, yes, I was… helping.” Julian said. “And also… lost track of time.”

“Oh, just get inside.” Cap muttered.

Hmh, Cap was sure the allure of town would have been too much, but that was all of them. Robin wasn’t there but Cap guessed he could excuse him seeing as he wasn’t even in the country. Oh God, Julian was going to be so insufferable tonight, he had been cry-texting Cap since Robin left a couple of days ago.

Once everyone was gathered they moved into the basement; Mary had already set up a fire just before they moved so it was all nice and toasty down there.

“What I used to do was take a coin, leave through the front door, walk all the way around the house and go back indoors.” Cap said. “That was our New Years’ tradition; to bring us luck.”

“Hmm, I did that too. I can’t believe there are people that didn’t.” Julian muttered. “Well, that and one other thing.” He added, nudging Margot.

“No offence you two,” Pat said, fiddling with his glasses. “But some people can’t do a loop of their house. I could never do that, unless I wanted to do a full loop around the block.”

“Yeah, that doesn’t really work when you live on a two-up two-down terrace row.” Alison said.

“We can’t all live in a detached mansion.” Pat said.

“Oh, I know, Cap.” Julian cried, slouching backwards into Margot who scowled and pushed him back. “How could you bring that up when we poor people must live in our one bedroom flats, at least you have your two balconies, you rich kid.”

“Oh, shut up, Julian.” Cap groaned, throwing his head back onto the sofa.

“Well,” Adam said, handing Cap a beer. “My New Years tradition was to all gather around the fire and talk with each other. Just us and no one else.”

“Here here.” Mary chimed in. “Tis good that one.”

“Yes, quite.” Cap said.

“Can we start eating any of this food?” Came Mike’s sudden voice from at the other side of the basement.

“Yes, yes, helps yourselves.” Mary said, shooing him to the food which she had placed neatly on tables.

“I think I’ll get some of that too.” Alison said, getting up and wandering over.

“Oh, Alison, wait up, me too.” Kitty chirped.

“Have you got sausage rolls?” Humphrey asked.

“Yes, yes, I’ves gots them.” Mary said.

“Did you make them?” Margot asked. When Mary nodded Margot tore herself from Julian’s hug and suddenly appeared by the tables. As did, it seems, nearly everybody else.

The only reason Cap didn’t quite manage it was because he was stopped by Julian.

“You have two balconies, come on, give me one.”

Cap blinked. “No.”

“Aw, why?”

“Because I’ve earnt two balconies.” Cap muttered, prodding Julian until he moved out of his way.

“But don’t I deserve one, Cap?” Julian asked, regrettably walking alongside him. “As a treat, a Christmas treat-”

“I got you something for Christmas.” Cap said.

“A New Years treat then,” Julian continued. “A ‘I’m-Sorry-Robin-Has-Gone-Away-For-Two-Weeks’ treat.”

“... No.” Cap frowned.

“Please, he’s gone, I miss him.”

“He only left two days ago.”

“But the last time I saw him was on Christmas Eve.” Julian whined.

“He’ll be back in two weeks.”

“But, Cap-”

“What are you doing to Cap?” Came Margot’s sudden voice, as she materialised, her paper place covered with sausage rolls.

“He won’t gift me a balcony.” Julian sighed. “As a New Years treat, he won’t give me a balcony. I think you; both having seen my flat, that it needs a balcony. And Cap has two, he can spare one.”

“Hmm, well, when I graduate I’ll buy you all the balconies you want.” Margot said. “All the sausage rolls are gone too, by the way.”

“Ah, have they?” And suddenly Julian had disappeared into the crowd by the table.

“Now what I actually meant was, when I graduate, I’ll buy myself a balcony and he can hang out on it.” Margot smirked. “Ahh, I guess he’s just remembering that he’s not ridiculously minted now.”

“No, he was trying to guilt me into it because he’s upset Robin is on holiday for two weeks.” Cap muttered.

“Oh?” Margot blinked. “He hasn’t even mentioned Robin to me. I didn’t realise he was upset about it.”

“Mmm? He’s been texting me about him since Robin left.”

“Oh?” Margot slowly picked up a sausage roll and bit into it. “That’s… interesting.”

“Bit odd, innit.”

“Hey Cap, I got you some food.” Adam said, suddenly appearing by his side. “What’s up?” He asked, looking at Cap and Margot’s faces.

“Julian’s being weird.” Cap said.

“Don’t worry,” Margot said. “I’ll find out.” And with that she finished her sausage roll and went and took a seat on one of the sofa’s again.

“Mary, you’ve just Just Dance!” Kitty suddenly squealed, appearing in Cap’s line of sight, clutching the box for Just Dance 2020. It was a Wii game. Huh, Cap didn’t even know there were still games being made for the Wii.

“Yes, yous can play it if you likes.” Mary said. She pointed at the TV which was hanging, almost camouflaging, into the wall and- good lord, there was indeed a Wii there.

Mary set the TV up Kitty was talking excitedly into her phone, waving the game around.

Cap groaned and threw his head back (again).

“Come on, Cap,” Adam said, patting his shoulder. “It’ll be fun.”

“I doubt it.” Cap grumbled.

“Look, just drink up and then you can do Old Town Roads.” Adam laughed, pushing Cap’s beer closer to him.

Once Mary had finished setting up she passed Kitty the Wii remote who almost immediately, cheerfully picked an Ariana Grande song.

Cap lent further into Adam, differentiating between picking at his food and drinking. Across the way he could see Margot munching on her sausage rolls, a thoughtful look on her face as she kept shooting Julian looks.

Kitty easily danced her way through her song choice, coming away with a perfect score.

“Yay, I love that song.” Kitty cheered, clapping and bouncing up and down. “Who wants to go next?”

“No, I’d prefer not to, thanks.” Margot said as Kitty gazed at her, her eyes wide.

“Go on.” Julian smirked. “I’d like to see you-”

But he was shut up by Margot pushing her hand into his face. “Continue and I’ll get Adam to give me a lift home. You’ll do that, won’t you, Adam.”

“Absolutely I would.” Adam said, folding his arms and nodding. “I’ll take you home now if you like.”

“Aww, and miss the party.” Mike asked, now perching on a stool by the fire. “We’d miss you, you know.”

“Thank you, Mike, for missing Adam and not me.” Margot said, glaring at Mike.

“Oh- well, yeah, I mean- don’t worry, we’d miss you too-”

“I’m messing with you, Mike, don’t worry.” Margot said, a ghost of a smile on her face.

“Oh, yeah.” Mike laughed slightly. “I totally knew that.”

“Cap,” Adam said, as Kitty’s wide-eyes turned to them. “Would you like to-”

“Shh.” Cap nudged Adam until he shut up. “Pat,” he then said loudly. “Why don’t you?”

“Why not.” Pat got up and took the Wii remote from Kitty and selected a song.

“I’m going to have to be a lot more drunk before I do that.” Cap muttered.

And a lot more drunk Cap did get.

It was about 9:40-9:50ish by the time he had drunk enough that, yeah, Adam, I think you’re right. Doing Old Town Roads on Just Dance is a good idea.

Not that he was any good at it. He managed to get a couple of ‘good’s between all of the ‘bad’s but really, it didn’t matter, because, ohoh, Old Town Roads.

Hmm, yes, cowboys, good.

“That was real good, Cap.” Julian said, slowly clapping as he grinned at him, his eyes repeatedly flashing back to the low score on screen.

“Well, I’d like to see you try and do better than that. Go on then, give it a try.” Cap had tried to snap, but it didn’t quite come out like that. It came out more like, “fuck off, Julian!”

“Two more hours, two more hours, two more hours.” Mike and Humphrey were chanting, banging their fists on the table as Cap tried to focus on the clock on the wall. Nope, it definitely said 10pm… or at least, a couple of minutes too..

“Is it Snap or Go Fish?” Alison asked from a table at the back of the basement.

“Snap.” Pat said at the exact same time Fanny said “Go Fish.”

Alison groaned and dropped her head onto the table.

Cap plopped down on the sofa, back against Adam.

“Happy?” Cap asked.

“Happy happy.” Adam smiled, dropping down to kiss Cap.

“Give us a try.” Julian said, reaching over to wrangle the Wii remote which was still tied around Cap’s wrist.

“Gerroff.” Cap grunted, but between the two of them they managed to slip the remote off his wrist.

Just as Julian stood up Margot grabbed hold of him and dragged him back down.

“Before you do.” She said, pulling out her phone. She messed around with it for a moment before it started to ring on loud. The loud option. Speakey- speaker!

Eventually it was answered.

“Hello?” Came Robin’s voice through the phone. Julian’s head twitched as he stared directly at the phone. He half raised his hand to reach over to the phone but stopped, blinked a couple of times then dropped it.

“Hi, Robin, it’s Margot.” Margot said. “What’s the time there?”

“Errr, nearly 12?” Robin said.

“One minute too, I think.” Margot said, nudging Julian in his side.

“Oh yeah, is!” There were some background noises on Robin’s end and Margot pushed the phone further to Julian. Cap heard Robin shout something away from the phone before he spoke again. “Yeah, minute left.”

Kitty gasped and practically leapt at the phone. “It’s New Years there!”

“Almost.” Robin said.

“Is never calls him,” Mary said, leaning over the sofa Cap was on. “Tis too much money to call him.” Then she said louder. “Happy New Years, Robin.”

“You too, Mary.” Cap heard Robin say. There was a couple seconds of silence before there was a tremendous amount of background noise. Cap lent away from the phone slightly. Aha, they were fireworks. Cap heard Robin shout something in… not-English before saying, in English. “Happy New Year.”

“Happy New Year!” Margot and Kitty said, though Kitty was a bit more shouty.

“Happy New Year, Robin.” Both Cap and Adam said as Margot jabbed Julian in the side again.

Julian blinked. “Happy New Year’s, Robin. I can’t wait till you get back.”

“Can’t wait till be back with you, too.” Robin said and Julian’s eyes seemed to sparkle at the words. There was some more shouting from Robin’s end before he came back saying. “Gotta go. Cousins, y’know.”

“Okay, speak later.” Margot said.

“Real soon.” Julian added.

Robin laughed. “Good. Bye.”

There was a chorus of ‘bye’s and Robin hung up.

“Right!” Julian chirped, bouncing to his feet. “Just Dance.”

Cap thinks Julian nearly threw the Wii remote through the TV. In all fairness Cap had zoned out of Julian’s attempt as soon as the first move started. All he knew is that suddenly both Mary and Julian screamed and the Wii remote was lying on the floor.

Next think, Mary was shouting at Julian but really, Cap didn’t particularly care at the moment. He was pretty certain the TV wasn’t shattered and that’s all that mattered.

Ah well, that’s what you get for not using the Wii safely.

Suddenly Cap blinked and it was almost midnight. Or rather nearly midnight. There was still a half a clock turn before midnight. Mmm, Cap might be a little bit drunk.

He wasn’t sure how it had happened but he found himself in a conversation with Alison about pandas.

“But Tigress has the best design.” Alison slurred. “They did her right. Not over-sexualised a tiger. But they all have good designs.”

“I like how they handled Po and his dad’s relationship, adoption and all that.” Cap muttered.

Ah.

Kung Fu Panda.

Not just pandas.

That's a shame.

Cap would have quite liked to have discussed pandas.

“Ohh, are we talking about Kung Fu Panda?” Kitty suddenly asked, swaying into the conversation. “I love Kung Fu Panda.”

“I guess.” Cap snorted before swaying himself.

“Hey,” Adam said, materialising by his side. How’d he do that? “Come sit down.”

Adam led Cap back to the sofa where Julian and Margot were taking up half of (from the looks of it, Thomas was completely using the other one to lie down on). Margot was attempting to play a card game with Pat and Fanny, they seemed to have pulled the table closer to the sofa as Julian did not seem to want to let go of Margot.

“I’ll go get you some water.” Adam said, patting Cap’s arm and kissing him on the side of the head.

Cap watched Thomas for a moment. He seemed to be muttering something to himself, sighing every few seconds. It was rather hypnotic to watch. He was sighing at such a regular pace that Cap found himself sighing in time.

This was cut short (thankfully, Cap imagined sober Cap would have thought) by Margot talking.

“Are you cheating?”

Cap peered over to see her pointing a finger at Fanny.

“I am most certainly not!” Fanny almost screeched. “How dare you accuse me of such things.”

“‘Cause you seem to be winning an awful lot and very very quickly.” Margot said.

Fanny was part-way through roaring a reply when Pat raised his hands to try and settle them all down.

“Now, I’m sure nobody’s cheating.” He said. “Perhaps the alcohol has just… misplaced your judgement-”

“I don’t think it has.” Margot snapped.

Pat raised his hands again as Fanny stood up.

“Well, I haven’t been cheating, so I’m not going to continue playing with someone who thinks I have!” And with that she turned and stomped away.

“She was definitely cheating.” Margot said, pointing at Fanny’ retreating back.

“Ah, I guess we’ll never know.” Pat said. “Want to play again?”

“Nah, you’re alright.” Margot said, slumping back into Julian’s arms.

Pat nodded and was suddenly caught up in by Humphrey dragging him into a conversation he was having with Mike… about polar bears it would seem.

Huh, what animated kid’s movie where they one about?

Cap was distracted again by hearing Margot say his name. Cap blinked and shook his head, turning his attention to her.

“Didn’t you, Cap?” Margot said.

“Wha-?”

“You said Julian’s upset about Robin leaving for two weeks.” Margot said. Ah, that’s what it’s about.

Cap nodded and Julian spluttered.

“I’m not- not- I’m- upset- not upset- No- I- I- Cap, I’m not upset.”

“Are.” Cap grunted.

“Am not!” Julian gasped.

“You are.” Margot said. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Julian continued to splutter for a good minute before finally relenting.

“Fine, I didn’t want to blather on about him to you and get on your nerves. I mean, I wouldn’t do if Cap left for two weeks,” (“Thanks.”) “So I thought it was best to just tone it down about how much I talked about him. Tone it down to nothing just to be sure.”

“Aww, you can’t get on my nerves.” Margot said, cupping Julian’s head in her hand. “Just about Robin anyway, that’s not a blanket statement.” But she shook her head. “Blabber on about him how much you want.”

“Really?” Julian beamed. “I’m missing him so much and I can’t wait until he’s back, I’ve already got a ton of plans for stuff we can all do together.”

Cap didn’t hear anything else about that conversation (maybe for the better, Cap didn’t want to consider what those plans coming from the depths of Julian’s brain could be) as Adam appeared back by his side, a glass of water in hand.

“Here, drink that. It’s almost New Year.” Adam said, a soft tone in his voice.

“Is it?”

“In a couple of minutes, yes.”

By the time Cap had drank all the water (Adam made sure he had drunk all of it) Pat was suddenly stood up, clapping his hands together.

“Okay, everyone, it’s nearly midnight!” He said once everyone was looking at him. He pulled his phone out and glanced down at it. “Just 20 seconds away.”

Oh, good lord. That infernal banging was going to start soon. Even down here it could still be faintly heard. Cap grabbed hold of Adam’s arm in preparation.

“Okay, so now, 10-” Pat called. “9- 8-”

Everyone started to chant the seconds before all shouting “happy new year!”

Adam turned Cap’s head and lent across to kiss him, softly, sweetly, cuffing Cap’s ears with his hands, diverting all of Cap’s attention away from the echoing noises of the fireworks and solely onto him.

They stayed like that for a few moments before pulling back.

“Happy new year, Cap.”

“Happy new year, Adam.”

Cap slumped into Adam, who started to pet his hair.  Kitty was talking loud and rapidly besides Thomas, who was watching her, slowly nodding along to what she was saying, looking rather pale. As another firework boomed in the distance, Kitty gasped and started to talk even louder, launching herself in to hug Thomas as he flinched at the sound again.

The noise and rabble of the others was doing quite well to drown out the rest of the fireworks, but still, Cap buried his head further into Adam, shutting out the rest of the fireworks as Adam continued to pet his hair.

Now all he could hear was the chatting and laughter of his friends and the steady heartbeat of his boyfriend.

Hmm, yes. Happy new year, indeed.

Chapter Text

It was a very cold January evening, Cap’s car thermometer said it was -6°.

Cap got out of his car and immediately shivered. It had only been a week and a half after New Year, but a cold snap had come on and it had come on quick. He wrapped his arms around him as tight as he could and buried his face deep into his thick scarf. His fingers curled into themselves and scrunched into the fabric of his coat. God he wished he had a hat.

Eventually he made his way from the pub and stood trembling in the doorway as a blast of central heating sent life back into his bones.

The bar staff waved at him as he made his way to the stairs.

Cap unravelled his arms and waved back to them before hopping up the stairs two at a time.

Pat, Mike and Alison were already sat in the room Cap had booked.

“Cold, innit.” Pat said, smiling.

“Very.” Cap grunted. He slumped down in a seat and tried to bundle himself further into his coat.

“We’ve got the heating on,” Alison said. “You’d feel it better if you took your coat off.”

“No.”

“That’s what I said.” Mike said. “Alison still dragged me out of it.”

“It’ll do you good.” Alison said.

“You’re not getting me out.” Cap grumbled. Then he turned to Pat. “Who’s supposed to be coming?”

“Not everyone.” Pat said. He scrolled through his phone. “Just: Julian, Margot and Thomas. Nobody new, so, just the seven of us. Adam’s not coming, is he?”

Cap shook his head. “He’s got work.”

“Aw, Mike, half the pieces are missing.” Alison said suddenly. Cap looked over to see her and Mike piling up half a jenga tower. “It’s not going to be very fun, it’ll be harder to fall over. It doesn't even have an equal amount for three on each row. What’s happened to it?”

“Oh, errrrrrrrr-” Mike erred. “I dunno. Maybe Christmas?”

Alison sighed and threw her head back. “Sorry, Cap. Our game isn’t very… gamey.”

Cap stared at Alison for a moment before groaning. “I left mine in the car.” He banged his hands on the table. “I’m not going back out there to get it.”

“That’s okay.” Pat said. “I’ve brought Dobble, Mikado and Dixit. And I bet a few of the others will bring something.”

“Hmm, unfortunately I bet they will.” Cap muttered, thinking of the possible games Julian could bring.

Not that he had to wait long to find out, Julian and Margot turned up not long after he had, Fanny alongside them. Though Cap still hadn’t taken his coat off no matter how much Alison kept encouraging him too.

“I’ve brought CAH.” Julian declared, an unusually dull tone in his voice, dropping a shopping bag on the table with a resounding thump. “Including a ton of expansions.”

“Good God.” Cap groaned.

“Hey, I’ve got the Pride Pack, that’s the correct theme isn’t it.” Julian snapped. Cap scowled. “... along with the Ass Pack, but still.”

“We’ve got half a Jenga Tower.” Alison declared. She and Mike were trying to play it, but with half the pieces missing it didn’t look like too much fun.

“Fascinating.” Julian grumbled. “I’m going to get something to drink, usual for you, Margot?”

Margot nodded and Julian dipped his head to kiss the side of her head before disappeared.

“Well, I’ve brought Dixit.” Fanny said, taking a seat besides Alison.

“Oh, so did I.” Pat said, grinning sheepishly. “Oh well, can never have too many, can we.”

“Sorry about Julian.” Margot said to Cap. “Robin’s been summoned to work in Kyiv. It’s not looking like he’ll be back in the country for another month or so.”

“Oh, okay.” Cap frowned.

“With the amount he’s been complaining about his family, I’m more upset for Robin being stuck there.” Margot said. She took a seat by the table and started to shuffle the box of CAH out of the bag.

It was indeed, The Bigger Blacker Box.

Julian eventually reappeared.

“What are we playing first?” Julian asked, slumping into a chair.

There was a crash of Jenga pieces and Mike and Alison started to splutter. Cap glanced over at them. Hmm, yeap. The Jenga pieces were on the floor, scattering under the table.

“Shall we play Dobble first?” Pat asked.

“Go on then.” Fanny said.

“Go ahead, go ahead, we’ll just climb underneath you to collect Jenga pieces, don’t mind us.” Alison exclaimed reaching under the table for pieces.

“We won’t.” Julian grunted. He pulled out his phone and glanced at it. Then he put it away again. “Fine. Dobble.”

Pat divided up the Dobble cards whilst Mike and Alison but the Jenga blocks away. Once they were done it was time to start the game.

“Snowflake!” Alison shouted, slamming a card down.

… “Stop sign!” Fanny cried.

“Clover!” Cap banged a card down. Then. “Clover! Clover! Clover!”

“Cobweb!” Mike managed to break Cap’s streak.

“Anchor.” Margot yelled.

“Turtle!” Both Alison and Pat shouted in unison. The both glanced at each other, lifting their cards away for a split second and Margot jumped forward.

“It’s a tortoise, not a turtle!”

“Aww, one of us got it first.” Alison said.

“You didn’t get it right.” Julian barked. “It’s a tortoise, not a turtle.”

“But we-”

“Tor! Toise! Not turtle!” Julian said firmly, scowling.

When it looked like Alison was going to continue arguing, Cap caught her eye and slowly shook his head. She wasn’t going to win judging by the mood Julian was in. Alison grumbled and sat back in her seat, glaring at Julian.

The mood was then interrupted by Mike slapping a card down, shouting “cat!” as he did so.

Eventually Dobble ended. Cap got rid of his cards first and Julian came last. Though really, Cap didn’t think Julian was actually playing. Mainly he was just resting his head on top of Margot’s, taking her hand as soon as she was free of cards.

“Shall we play again?” Pat asked, shuffling the cards in order.

“No.” Alison and Julian said in unison.

“How about Cards Against Humanity?” Margot asked, patting the Bigger Blacker Box.

“That sounds good.” Mike said.

“Only if Cap takes his coat off.” Alison said.

Cap grumbled at that but under a sudden repetitive banging on the table by Mike, Margot and Pat, all shouting “CAH Time, CAH Time, CAH Time” did Cap finally take his coat off.

And his judgement was.

He was even colder now.

“This is an awful game.” Fanny muttered, as the banging stopped, before nodding. “Fine, let’s play this disgusting game.”

“It’s not too bad.” Pat said, putting the Dobble cards away. “It’s quite fun, you’ve just got to be a bit creative with your answers.”

“Deal, Julian.” Cap said.

“You deal.”

The box came sliding in front of Cap and Cap scowled at Julian, who was glaring at him.

Eventually Cap broke eye contact and sighed, shaking his head. Julian was just a little bit upset is all, Cap can deal with that.

Cap dealt the cards and glanced down at his hand. Hmm. The Pope.

“Okay, I’ll go first.” Cap grunted. He picked up a black card and read it out. “What is Batman’s guilty pleasure?”

There was some muttering amongst them until they all eventually flung a card at him.

Cap flipped them over and read them out before. “Okay, ‘Dead parents’ wins.”

“It’s the classic answer.” Alison said, shrugging as she took the black card.

Pat was next to pick up a card.

“Blank + Blank = Profit.”

Cap glanced back down at his cards. Hmm, what could he do? What could he do? Then he decided. He slid the cards across as everyone else was launching theirs.

Pat straightened them all up and flipped them over to read. Then he reached Cap’s.

“My genitals + the- the body of- of a 46, ha, a 46 year-old-man = profit.” Pat shook with laughter as he then went to turn the last one open. Then he burst into laughter.

“The- the blood. The blood of Christ + Fingerpainting = Profit.” He slapped the table. “That one. That one wins.”

“That was me.” Margot said and Pat passed her the black card, still laughing.

The game continued, and everyone subconsciously agreed to throw Fanny the most rudest options they could possibly do. Which they did. And she screamed at them all.

She then picked Margot’s card, much to the absolute glee of Margot.

The game continued but as always with Cards Against Humanity, the turns got longer and longer as people started to get distracted.

“No, it’s supposed to last another week.” Fanny said.

“Two weeks.” Alison snapped back.

They were discussing the cold snap and how long it would last. Cap hoped it was less than one week.

“Hey Margot,” Pat asked. “Did it ever get this cold when you lived in Ukraine?”

Margot shrugged (which seemed hard for her to do with Julian’s head lying on her shoulder). “For the year I was there it seemed to be unseasonably warm so I don’t think I ever experienced an actual cold winter there, thankfully.”

Julian had now put his cards down and once again picked up Margot’s empty hand, seemingly playing with her fingers.

“Cap, it’s your turn again.” Pat said.

Cap blinked and looked at the black cards. Come to think of it, he was rather thirsty.

“Actually, I’ll skip this round.” Cap said. “You go, Patrick, I’m going to buy a drink.”

Pat nodded and went to pick up a card as Cap got up and stretched, all of his joints clicking uncomfortably.

Cap made his way downstairs and it was as he reached the bottom of the stairs did he notice Julian was following him.

“What do you want, Julian?” Cap asked, folding his arms as he waited for Julian to join him.

“Can I not go where I want without you thinking I’m following you?” Julian snapped.

“Usually, no.”

Julian scowled and stomped by Cap to the bar, where he proceeded to lean on it and stare at the countertop. Cap sighed and followed after him.

“Look,” Cap said. “I know you’re upset-”

“Not upset.” Julian grunted.

“And it’s alright if you are, but you don’t have to take it out on me.” Cap said.

“I’m not upset so I can’t be taking anything out on you!”

“Yes you are. You’re doing it and it’s because you’re upset.”

“I said I’m not upset. What would I even be upset about?” Julian asked.

“Because Robin is going to be away for a month.”

“I’m not upset about that. Why would I be upset about that?” Julian said.

“Because Robin’s… special to you.”

“No he’s not.” Julian argued. “Where on earth did you get that idea from?”

Cap blinked. “Well, I mean. You’ve been talking about him practically non-stop since he left and you said you wouldn’t do that about me if I left for two weeks. You’re always very… comfy with him-”

“So? How does that mean he’s special to me? God, Cap,” Julian laughed. “Do you think I have, like, a crush on him? Don’t be daft.”

Cap hummed. Romantic crush? No, probably not. Platonic crush? Most definitely. Despite being rather smart, Julian wasn’t always the sharpest tool in the shed. Or rather a bit uneducated on this. Cap might have to ask Thomas, he’ll probably be able to tell him about stuff.

Then Julian sighed. “But if it makes you feel better, I’m sorry for it seeming like I’m snapping at you.” Julian said.

“Thank you, I guess that’s the best I’m going to get.” Cap grumbled.

“Hey,” said one of the bar staff, rather awkwardly, they must have been watching them argue. “Are you guys ready to order?”

They ordered their drinks (Cap paid, obviously) and Julian hummed.

“Speaking of missing people, I know she’s only upstairs, but I miss Margot.” He said.

“You saw her about two minutes ago.” Cap said, taking his drink off the bar staff. “And you’re going to see her again in another.”

“I know but still,” Julian sighed. “I miss her.” Then he turned and beamed at Cap. “Isn’t she amazing.”

Ah, the way to get Julian’s mind off Robin, talking about Margot.

“She’s so wonderful and pretty, like woah.” Julian said. “She is just so gorgeous I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone so pretty before. And aha, I have absolutely never seen anyone so sexy before either. And she looks very nice indeed with her clothes off-”

“Julian!” Cap all but shouted. “Shut it!”

“And she is very good at it too-”

“What did I LITERALLY just say!”

Julian huffed in laughter. “Fine. But like, she talks to me- Cap, she enjoys listening to me. Can you believe!”

(For the record, no, Cap could not believe).

“She makes me feel alive.” Julian continued to talk. “She makes me feel so comfy, I just want to spend all of my time with her. One time when we were out walking, she told me all of her favourite birds and I couldn’t tear myself away even if you forced me. Her eyes were lit up like you couldn’t believe. Oh and Cap, Cap, she held me hand. Held my hand, Cap!” Julian took his drink but was vibrating with so much excitement that he nearly split half of it immediately.

“And she checks up on me every day to see how I am. She’s so wonderful. Cap, Cap, Margot is wonderful and amazing and she’s going to conquer the world. She works so hard, I’m so proud of her.”

“Yes, she works very hard, we’re all proud of her.” Cap said, though his input went unnoticed by Julian as he continued to ramble on.

“She’s like, you know in anime when there’s the bad boy but later the protagonist sees them helping a stray kitten? She’s the bad boy.”

(Good lord, does this mean Julian was a protagonist? Horrific).

“I want to take her places, do things with her, Cap, I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I know it, I can feel it. Cap, I want to ask her to marry me.”

“That’s nice.” Cap muttered. Then he stopped. “Wait, you what?”

“I want to ask her to marry me.” Julian repeated, beaming as though that was actually a good idea.

“Julian.” Cap said bluntly. “You’ve been dating her a month.”

“So?”

“You’ve only known her for 3 months!”

“What does it matter? I’m serious about this.”

Cap gawped at him. “I think Margot seems like the kind of person who would want to date more than 1 month before being proposed to.”

Julian glanced down at his drink then back to Cap, then gasped. “Aha you’re right! I got so caught up with imagining us 10 years in the future, I forgot we’re here. Okay, okay, okay. I’ll wait a couple of months.”

“A few, long months.” Cap muttered.

“I mean, I’m going to have to spend a few months saving up for a ring aren’t I.”

“You might need a few years for that.” Cap said.

“Ah, but the Bank of Cap-”

“Absolutely NOT!”

“Fine… The Bank of Robin won’t shoot me down so quickly.”

Cap hummed again and they made their way upstairs.

“Cap it’s your turn again.” Pat said brightly as they sat back down at the table. “We got through our rounds quite quick.”

Cap nodded and picked up a black card as opposite him, Julian plunged his head into Margot’s hair.

“Here is the church. Here is the steeple. Open the doors and there is blank.” Cap read.

It took a few minutes but the cards came in.

“Right.” Cap flipped the cards over. “Having big dreams and no realistic way to achieve them.

“Me.

“A 55-gallon drum of lube (this might not be Julian’s card but this would definitely be Julian’s real answer).

“Barack Obama.

“Police brutality.

“Bitches.

“Hmm…” Cap glanced at the cards again. “A 55-gallon drum of lube.” He announced.

“Hah. That’s mine.” Margot said, grinning. “That’s another point to me. I am absolutely rocking this game. I am totally going to win this!”

“You are!” Julian said, beaming, nuzzling the side of her head.

“You aren’t if I have anything to say about it.” Fanny said. She glared at Margot, a steely look of determination in her eyes. “Pat, draw a black card.”

Cap rolled his eyes as Margot and Julian flared up as they glared back at Fanny. Next time, forget CAH, they were just going to Mikado.

Chapter Text

It was raining. It was raining hard.

At least the temperature had risen.

“Rains any harder it’s going to flood.” Pat said, trying to wipe his glasses dry as they all stood in the entrance hall to the Transport Museum. He wasn’t having too much luck there, seeing as he was wiping with a sopping sleeve.

Julian however was pressed against the glass, staring out into the rain. “I hope the tarpaulin is okay.”

“I’m sure it will be fine, Julian,” Cap sighed. “You should be thanking me, if I hadn't have picked you up you’d be driving in this.”

“You think I should but, hmm… no I won’t. You’d have never let me drive in this.”

“I hope this stops for tomorrow.” Alison muttered, peering out of the window. “Mike has a whole picnic planned for me for Valentine’s Day, don’t you, Mike.”

“Oh, absolutely I do.” Mike said, nodding his head along so furiously that Cap wasn’t sure if he actually did have a picnic planned or not.

Cap had some things planned tomorrow for him and Adam, who, unfortunately, wasn’t able to join them today.

“I think it will do.” Thomas said, miserably. “Though whether it’ll be dry enough to sit down for a picnic will be another question entirely.”

“Oh well, we can all think about things like that tomorrow, right now we’ve got some museums to explore.” Pat said, clapping his hands together, having managed to get his glasses somewhat clear.

“Yes quite right.” Cap said. “Now let’s move along and go have a look at the displays.”

“Everyone must have been here 1000 times, Cap.” Julian grunted, still looking at the pouring rain. “I think we can all go through these museums with our eyes closed. Fanny’s practically an exhibit here herself.”

Fanny squawked and was preparing to shout when Margot got in between them.

“I,” Margot said, pulling at Julian’s wrists slightly. “Have never been to any of these museums.”

“Oh?” Julian turned from the window. “T-they’re really great, a- a- a lot of fun, you’re going to enjoy them a lot. Come on, let’s go and have a look around.”

“Really? You’ve never been here?” Kitty asked. “How come, you’ve been here for a while haven’t you? I love them.”

“I never really had the time to go around them.” Margot said, from her position being dragged by Julian. “Or the need to really, so I just didn’t. I’ve either been at work, uni for the whole time I’ve been here. And my first year of my bachelors was just all of that with nothing much else, except learning Hungarian but I had to rush and switch to Ukrainian. By the time I got back from Kyiv I had passed the ‘let’s go explore the new city stage’ of my uni degree.”

“Hows come yous changed from Hungarian to Ukrainian anyway?” Mary asked as they all clambered aboard an old model bus.

“For my year abroad I had wanted to go to Budapest but all of the places were full up, so I ended up being placed to go to Ukraine instead.” Margot said. 

“Here’s an old bus!” Came Kitty’s voice chirping through the air. Cap glanced over to see her filming herself. Hmm, doing another vlog it seems. “The seats are pretty uncomfortable.” Kitty carried on. “The back is straight up, I wouldn’t want to go on a long journey on this.”

“I wouldn’t either.” Alison said, patting the rather dusty seats.

“Aren’t they just the worst.” Kitty said, scooching over to Alison. “See, I’ve got people agreeing with me.” She laughed. “Hey Alison, you should come over to my house and have a sleepover where we can make some fun videos.”

“Hmm.” Alison hummed. “Yeah, sounds great.”

They moved through the buses and through a small arcade section. Mike and Cap both decided to compete in the shooting range game it had set up.

Of course Cap completely left Mike in the dust and got the highest score but still, Mike did alright.

It was as they were passing the chariots and the rather beautiful snow sled did Julian sigh.

“Cap this is boring! You chose a boring thing for us to do.”

“It’s not too boring.” Pat said, smiling. “It’s fun and educational.”

“Yeah,” Mike muttered, staring at the snow sled. “It- it looks pretty, doesn’t it.”

“Pretty boring.” Julian said, nodding his head.

“Pretty good, you mean.” Alison said.

“Yes, Julian, pretty good.” Thomas snapped, glancing over at Alison, probably looking for affirmation.

Cap shook his head and waved them to continue.

The group continued through the museum, at one point, Mary and Julian trapping Thomas in a phone box until Pat came and chowed at them until they released Thomas. Cap really wished they hadn't done that, they all had to sit through Thomas' lyrical crying about it.

They continued to move on until they came to the carriage ride.

“Only 4 at a time.” The staff member said as they lined up to take the ride.

“We’ll go first.” Margot said, eyes shining with slight excitement.

“I’ll join you,” Pat said before he nudged Cap. “Fill out the four?”

Cap huffed, staring at Julian. “Do I have to?”

“Cap, it’ll be fun.” Julian said, already helping Margot up into the carriage.

“Trapped with you in a small carriage, I highly doubt it.”

“Well it’s not like we’re travelling all the way to York.” Pat said. “It’s only a couple of minutes.”

“Fine, fine.” Cap sighed. “Let’s get this over with.”

He clambered into the ridiculously small carriage after the others and the staff member shut the door on them, enclosing them in the carriage and sending them into a gloomy darkness only brightened up by the dim lights slotted into the ceiling.

The recorded voice started and the carriage started to rock back and forth.

Almost immediately Julian stretched his legs out, kicking Cap in the shins. Cap glared in the dim light and Julian smirked.

310.

“My, the long way to York,” Margot said. “Pat, why not fill the time with a story.”

“Let’s think of a good one.” Pat said, drumming his fingers on his knee.

“Oh, spare me.” Julian groaned. “I can think of many… other things which we could be doing on this journey instead.”

“I would rather not do anything with you.” Cap said, stretching his legs out to kick Julian back in the shins.

“Well fine then.” Julian said, kicking Cap again. “Pat, we shall have one hell of a journey.”

“I’d rather not either.”

Julian gasped and collapsed into Margot’s side. “I can’t believe they don’t want to do fun activities with us. I’d have brought card games for us to play or something. Sexy sexy card games.”

“I know, can you believe?” Margot said, dropping her head on top of Julian’s.

“Ah, I just suppose we’ll have to make do with just us two until Robin returns to join our card games.” Julian sighed.

Pat shook his head, a breath of a laugh in his voice.

God, is their few minutes up yet?

It eventually was and the staff member opened the door and Cap launched himself out as fast as he could, lest he’s kicked in the shins by Julian again.

Everyone else slowly had their turn in the carriage. Except for Fanny. She put her foot down against going on it and Cap half wished he had as well. His shins were still hurting.

Finally, Kitty, Thomas and Humphrey were having their turn. Through the door Cap could hear Kitty giggling as she continued to film despite the darkness of the carriage.

Cap wandered down the mock street and came across Margot and Julian leaning over the gate separating them from the exhibits, petting the fake horse.

“This is pretty good,” Margot said. “I’m glad I actually came here.”

“I haven’t been here for ages, but yeah, it’s pretty good.” Julian said, scritching the horse’s head. “Glad I came back.”

“Hmm, so am I.” Margot said, taking her hand off the hand and reached over to take hold of Julian’s jacket and pulled him over to kiss him.

Julian gasped and grabbed hold of her. “Margot, in this respectable Victorian street?”

“Why yes, Mr Fawcett, I’m going to kiss my boyfriend in this nice respectable Victorian street.” Margot grinned and pushed Julian against the gate and kissed Julian again.

Cap grunted and carried on down the fake street.

Eventually everyone had a turn and continued through the museum.

Soon they completed their loop of the transport museum and stood in the doorway, looking out into the pouring rain.

“Shall we just go to the art gallery?” Alison asked. “I mean it’s in the direction of the car park, the other museum is in the complete opposite direction.

“Yes, that mights be a good idea.” Mary said.

“I think so too,” Pat said, nodding. “What do you say, Cap?”

“Yes, that sounds quite good. Is everybody else okay with this?”

There was a chorus of ‘yes’ and, once everybody braced themselves, they ran out into the rain and made their way to the art gallery.

They managed to make it to the gallery as the rain came crashing down around you.

They piled into the gallery and dripped water onto the stone floor beneath them. Cap noticed the receptionist staring at them, eyes dropping down to the mess they were making on the floor.

“Oh look, they’ve put a game on.” Kitty chirped.

She rushed off to the reception and looked at the poster.

“They’ve put little hearts around the gallery and you have to find them to win- oh sweets!” Kitty exclaimed. “Can I have a go?”

The receptionist nodded and handed Kitty a clipboard. “Just bring it back here once you’ve done and I’ll see how you did.”

“Ah, thank you, this will be fun.” Kitty beamed at the others. “Come on, let’s go have a look for the hearts.”

They started their tour. The first gallery they visited was Renaissance art.

“Now, where’s the heart? We need to find the heart.” Kitty muttered.

“Perhaps,” Cap said. “You could actually look at the paintings first?”

“Oh, but the hearts are much more fun.” Kitty cried.

“Vlog them.” Alison said. “I’m sure people would love to see around.”

“But remember, no flash photography.” Pat said.

“Yes, everyone would love to see this.” Kitty said. “Oh, Thomas, come here and help me.”

Cap sighed and shook his head.

It was as Cap was staring at yet another 14th century painting of baby Jesus looking like a 40 year old bodybuilder did Kitty gasp.

“The heart, I’ve found it.” She nearly screamed, pointing at the door frame leading into gallery two. Cap squinted up to see a heart propped up at the top. Kitty ran to rest on the bench to scribble the answer down, leaving Thomas standing like a muppet holding her camera pointing towards a wall.

“Okay, I’m ready to move on.” Kitty said, looking up from her worksheet.

“Just wait a minute, Kitty.” Fanny snapped. “I’m still looking.”

“Oh, I have to finish my video.” Kitty said and skipped back to her spot which Thomas was still pointing at.

Eventually they moved on to the next gallery (Dutch artists) and the cycle repeated, with Kitty on the desperate hunt for hearts. And then the next and then the next.

During one gallery, Kitty put her clipboard down on a chair whilst she was vibrantly chattering into the camera Thomas was still holding. Fortunately Alison picked it back up before they left. Which was good, because Cap surely wasn’t.

It was as they were about half way through, there was suddenly a loud shout of “boo!” followed by Alison screaming. Before Cap even had time to wheel around there was a thump and somebody shouting “ow!” That person sounded very much like Robin.

Upon turning around Cap discovered that it was indeed Robin. He was rubbing the side of his head where Alison seemed to have hit him with a clipboard.

“Robin, don’t scare me like that!” Alison practically shouted.

Robin stopped rubbing and chuckled. “Will do no worry.” Hmm, his accent was a lot thicker than before he left.

Suddenly Julian went zooming by Cap, practically shoving him out of the way. Julian launched himself at Robin, pulling him into a tight hug. Cap frowned slightly as he saw Robin’s arms raise up to hug Julian back, before dropping back to his sides.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming back today?” Julian cried.

“Uhhh surprise?” Came Robin’s muffled voice.

“I’m so glad you’re back,” Julian said before his voice trailed away to a volume so quiet Cap couldn’t hear him.

It lasted for another few seconds before Julian attempted to pull back. “Robin? Robin? I think he fell asleep guys. Robin?”

Robin seemed to jerk up in Julian arms before stumbling backwards.

“Sorry, bit tired, had little sleep in 3 days.” Robin muttered. Then he turned to the rest of them. “Art? Go art. Saw on app you were here.”

“It’s nice to see you, Robin.” Cap said. “Now can we move on?”

The group murmured a yes and the all moved on forwards, each saying ‘hi’ to Robin as they moved. Alison passing the clipboard back to Kitty. Mary attempted to get a conversation from Robin but when it became apparent that Julian wasn’t going to share him any longer than he needed to, she sighed and left Robin to his fate.

“It is good to have you back.” Cap heard Margot say to Robin. He turned his head slightly to see her stood next to him, whilst Julian was attempting to figure out the best way to practically pin Robin to his side, eventually settling on hooking his arm around Robin’s chest and pulling him back towards him.

“Nice to see you.” Robin said, his eyes flickering down to the floor as he stood rigid and awkward in Julian’s arms.

“Your hair’s gotten long.” Julian stated. “It looks nice tied back.”

“It does?”

Julian nodded and dropped his head to rest it on top of Robin’s. It was at that that Robin seemed to deflate, smushing himself into Julian and wrapping his arms around his waist.

They moved through the art gallery, occasionally gasping as they found a hidden heart. Julian was babbling non-stop, moving from clutching Robin around the waist to having his arm lounging around Robin’s shoulders, his other hand preoccupied with entwining around Margot’s.

It was all going quite well, they almost even got out of the gallery without incident. That was until somebody suddenly ran from one of the doors and grabbed Robin, shaking him and shouting.

Cap was startled for around a second before he suddenly recognised the person as Robin’s brother.

Oh.

Back for round two are you?

Julian jumped at Robin’s sudden disappearance, a highly distressed look on his face.

Robin’s brother was talking rapidly in Ukrainian before Robin snapped something and the brother paused and switched to English.

“Why didn’t you tell us you were coming back? Mum is worried! You know what she’s like about plane flights!” Robin’s brother all but shouted.

“Think that’s why didn’t say, Mykhail?” Robin grunted, pulling himself out of Mykhail’s grip and back to Margot and Julian, who were now both glaring at him. “How’d you even know I was here?”

“Err, perhaps we should all move on,” Pat said. “Come on, everyone.” He waved his arms and herded everyone down the corridor and out the door, Mary glaring at Mykhail as she passed. Cap hung back. He at least wanted to make his presence known and that he would absolutely break Mykhail’s nose again if need be.

“My friend saw you coming out the train station and over to here. Messaged me right away, I’m only working in town.” Mykhail said.

“That’s a little bit creepy.” Margot muttered, crossing her arms.

“It absolutely is, back off and stop being weird about everything,” Julian growled.

“Yes, I agree, it isn’t any of your business.” Cap said.

Mykhail glanced over to him and suddenly flinched as he recognised Cap.

“You!” He barked. “You broke my nose.”

“Yes I did, and I’ll do it again.” Cap grunted, stepping forward.

Mykhail took a step back, a look of panic flashing across his face and Robin raised his hand.

“Cap. Is alright.” Robin said.

Cap nodded and took a step back and Mykhail scowled at him.

“Tell mum am alright, safe off plane. Had awful travel but plane was  good.” Robin said. “You can go now?”

Mykhail folded his arms and shook his head. “Dad is pissed at you, he had word from Uncle that you weren’t pulling your weight.”

“Was busy! Was working!” Robin cried. “Not me fault I had to work 12 hours, barely sleep then go work on farm. I had to travel 4 hours to get to work from there. Am not robot.”

“Coulda fooled me.” Mykhail muttered and Robin had to grab both Margot and Julian to stop them jumping forward to launch themselves at Mykhail, shouting at him.

“Cap, don’t.” Robin snapped as Cap was also tensing up to throw hands at Mykhail again. At Robin’s order Cap backed down.

“We’re going, so don’t disturb anyone else.” Robin snapped, securing his grip on Margot and Julian, practically dragging them past Mykhail. “Captain, come on!”

Cap jumped at the inclusion of his full name and hurried after them, shooting another glare at Mykhail as he did so.

Robin led them back to the rest of the group, and Pat looked at them concerned.

“Is everything okay?” Pat asked.

“Is fine.” Robin grunted, finally releasing Julian and Margot from his grip.

“Are yous sure?” Mary asked. “He can be very-”

“Am fine.” Robin snapped. Then he mumbled. “Think I might go home now. Tired.”

“Don’t go back to your house,” Julian said. “It won’t be good to sleep in it, you’ve been gone a month, I dread to think how much dust is all over the place. Stay with me tonight.”

Robin blinked. “Okay.”

“Alright, Margot, do you want to stay or come with?” Julian asked.

“I’ll come with.” Margot said.

“Good, don’t worry Cap, we’ll go on the bus.” Julian said. “See ya.”

And with that the three of them headed out of the gallery, Robin waving at them as he did.

“Okay, so I guess were pretty much done anyway,” Pat said. “Shall we go give the clipboard back and go and grab a coffee?”

Everyone agreed and wandered to the reception to hand the clipboard back.

“Did you find everything?” The receptionist asked.

“I tried to.” Kitty said cheerfully, giggling slightly.

“Hey, you got them all.” The receptionist said, looking down the clipboard.

“Yay.” Kitty squealed as the receptionist offered her a plate of the sweets. Once Kitty had picked one (“maybe I’ll have this one? Oh, no wait, how about this one? Or maybe this one?”) they left the art gallery to find it had finally stopped raining.

As they all gathered and were preparing to leave for a coffee shop when Mykhail came trailing out of the art gallery.

Cap bristled as he saw Mykhail but quickly turned back to the rest of them as Mykhail scowled at him and hurried off down the street.

“Mmm,” Cap muttered, buttoning his coat up. “Coffee would actually be amazing right now.”

Chapter Text

-- JULIAN + MARGOT --

Julian had spent two hours getting ready. Thank god they were meeting up at midday instead of the morning.

But he had finished and was rocking up to Margot’s building in his terrible, terrible, trash piece of car (not that he’d ever let Cap knows he thinks that).

This was their first Valentine’s together and Julian was very excited. He’s got a present for Margot. A necklace! A pretty looking necklace with a delicate sparkling pendant at the end.

Julian had bought it from a second-hand store a while back and with instructions of Robin’s cousin’s wife’s sister (Robin brought her on Skype with him one time and she had proceeded to speak rapidly in Ukrainian with what to do to fix it. It took about 10 minutes before she figured out Julian had no idea what she was saying and she was going too fast for Robin to translate but they got there in the end), he had been attempting to clean it and polish it up the best he could. It was rather tarnished when he’d bought it, but thankfully he had managed to make it shiny and nice again.

And it really needed it. Julian had originally thought it was made of bronze or something, not silver.

(Also Julian really needed you to know that he had found out how to clean it before he bought it, he did not have to rush around afterward to clean it up).

God, Julian wished he could afford to buy her a nice new necklace instead.

Julian parked up and slipped his present to Margot in the glove compartment and hopped out of the car.

He buzzed for Margot’s flat and said “it’s me.” as she answered.

“I’ll be down in a second.” Her voice came floating through the speaker.

Julian waited by the door for a couple of moments before Margot came out of the building.

“Hi baby,” Margot said, wrapping her hands around Julian’s shoulders as he hugged her and lifted her up from the floor. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

“Happy Valentine’s Day, babe.” Julian hummed, nuzzling the side of her head before changing to kissing her. Julian lowered Margot slowly back to the ground as they continued to kiss, softly at first, but quickly became more fiercely. They could have continued like that for a good while longer, but they were rudely interrupted by somebody else leaving the building, slamming the door into Julian as they opened it.

“Oww!” Julian pulled away from Margot and rubbed his shoulder where the door had hit him.

“Aww, poor Julian.” Margot said, grinning ever so slightly as she reached up to stroke his shoulder. “Hurt much?”

“Very- er- why don’t- don’t you- why don’t you kiss it better?”

“I’d prefer not to kiss a coat, if you don’t mind.” Margot said, poking Julian in the chest before walking to the car. “Though I might do it when you take it off.”

“Ah, but then you’ll be kissing my shirt.”

“Well, Mr Fawcett, I suppose you’ll just have to take your shirt off as well.” Margot purred, running her hands down the side of her torso and settling on her hip. Julian’s eyes trailed down, following her hand, grinning widely.

“But of course, you’ll have to wait until later before I can do that.” Margot said, turning back to the car. It was then Julian noticed Margot had a gift bag hanging from her elbow (oohoho who might that be for? (not that Julian, y’know, was focusing on the present or anything)) “We do have some reservations to get to.”

Julian clicked his car keys to unlock and nodded. “We do, don’t we.”

Thankfully, Margot was paying for the restaurant, as otherwise Julian was planning on buying a good takeaway for their meal.

As they reached the restaurant, Margot slid out of the car and Julian scrambled to get his present out of the glove compartment. They left the car and Julian took hold of Margot’s hand as they entered the restaurant.

They sat at their table and ordered. Julian lent his head on his hand as he gazed at Margot, she was tucking her hair behind her ear as she was looking out the window, the afternoon winter sun gleaming off her face, highlighting her face, shining out of her eyes and catching her hair to make it glow. God, she was so hot.

Margot’s eyes flicked back to Julian and she frowned at him. “What are you looking at?”

“You,” Julian sighed. “And I’m just thinking about how very happy I am with you.”

Margot shifted in her chair, turning from the window and leaning closer to Julian. “I’m happy with you too, I am quite glad I met you, you know.”

“Oh, are you?” Julian grinned, “just how glad are you to have met me?”

“I guess you’ll just have to wait and see.” Margot said, the hint of a smile back on her face.

Their food arrived and they ate with quiet chatter.

“How was Robin last night? Did he end up staying over all night with you?” Margot asked.

“Yeah, he just crashed out pretty much immediately, I could barely keep him up enough to at least get his rucksack off him.” Julian said, smiling fondly. “He stayed the entire night completely dead to the world before he woke me up at like 8am heading out the door. I only just managed to catch him before he disappeared. We’ve arranged to meet up tomorrow after work.”

“That’s going to be nice.” Margot said. “I missed him.”

“So did I.” Julian grinned again. “But he’s back now and we can all get together to go out soon.”

“I’d like that.” Margot said, her eyes sparkling with joy.

They finished their meal and ordered a dessert.

“Would you like your Valentine’s present now?” Margot asked.

“Now? Here? Why, Margot, we’re in a public place.” Julian laughed, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Well, the first of your many presents over this evening.” Margot said, gazing at Julian through her eyelashes. She then shook her head and passed across a bag to Julian.

Trying to hide his excitement (and quite possibly failing), Julian opened the bag and pulled out a long and narrow box. He opened it up to find a black leather and silver bracelet.

“Oh, Margot, it’s beautiful.” Julian said, clipping it around his wrist. And it looked expensive, Julian felt rather guilty about what he had gotten her. This bracelet definitely didn’t look second-hand.

Before Julian could lift his present to her up, their desserts arrived.

Yum! Cake!

They tucked into their desserts and if Julian’s quiet moans of pleasure were to do more with how good the cake was rather anything else, well, nobody needs to know they were just for cake.

They finished their desserts and Julian patted the table. “I have a gift for you now.” He said, plopping the gift on the table and pushing it across to Margot.

Margot smiled softly as she picked it up. “Julian, you shouldn’t have.”

“I wanted to.” Julian said, his eyes must surely be wide.

Margot opened it and looked at the necklace.

She was quiet for a moment and oh god, Julian bought her the wrong thing didn’t he.

But then-

“Julian, I love this so much,” Margot said, her eyes slowly lifting up from the necklace and up to Julian. Whilst her mouth only had the flicker of a smile, her eyes shining with happiness.

Julian beamed and got up to cross around the table. Margot handed him the necklace and he secured it around her neck, letting his hands trailing across her neck up to the back of her head, at which Margot purred and pushed her head into Julian’s hands.

“Hmm, why Miss Dixon, don’t you look very good in this necklace.” Julian murmured. He was telling the complete truth. Margot did look very very good in the necklace.

“I do look very good, don’t I.” Margot smirked. “And you look very good in your new bracelet too.”

“Aha, do I?” Julian grinned.

“Yes, but you also look very good to me.” Margot said, standing up and kissing Julian briefly before nodding to the bar. “I’ll go pay.”

Julian nodded and watched her as she walked off. Hmm, she really did look from behind didn’t she.

Eventually Julian’s eyes slid from Margot (mainly because she disappeared from view) and onto his phone.

‘hey robin i miss u ’ Julian text Robin.

Quickly afterwards Julian’s phone buzzed with a reply.

‘I miss you two. cant wait too see you!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 ’ Came Robin’s reply.

‘im so excited to see you too its gonna be so good ’ Julian grinned as he text.

‘Is!! See you tmorrow!! ’ Robin sent back.

‘ see u 2morro ;) ’ Julian sent back. Robin sent a heart in response and Margot returned.

“Ready to go?” Margot asked. Julian nodded and they left the restaurant.

As they reached the car Margot took hold of Julian’s hand and as he turned to face her, she pulled him down to kiss him.

Julian hummed and pressed further into Margot’s soft lips. He reached with his free hand and buried it in Margot’s hair. Margot gasped and pulled away just enough to sigh “you’re going to mess up my hair.”

“It’s going to be very messed up a little bit.” Julian breathed before pushing back down to kiss Margot.

They carried on whilst Margot pushed further into Julian, enough for him to crash into his car as he moaned into her mouth.

“Let’s go back to mine,” Margot panted. “And I’ll give you your next Valentine’s Day gift, and of course, I have to kiss your hurt shoulder better.”

Julian smirked. “You know what, I was just going to say the exact same thing.”

-- MARY + MYSTERY WOMAN --

Jack wanted popcorn. Her parents wanted a pizza. The chickens wanted (well, the family wanted to give) fruit. Mary wanted tiger bread.

At the moment Mary was down the DVD aisle. Which was close to the popcorn aisle.

It was as she was walking down it, Mary suddenly wanted to buy a new movie. It was Valentine’s Day and seeing as she didn’t have a date, she wanted to do something special. So a new movie it is.

Definitely not a romantic movie. That would just make her sad.

So here she was, trying to weigh up between two different movies when there was a sudden presence by her shoulder.

“Go with that one.” The sudden presence said, pointing a hand at the movie in Mary’s right hand. “That one’s a lot better.”

Mary turned around, and the sudden presence took a step back, retracting their hand from where it was pointing.

The sudden presence was a person with long platinum hair, one side shaven, an easy grin on their face, their lips painted a dark red. Their eyes… Their eyes were… very pretty. They were amber, and warm, something Mary would easily get lost in. They were wearing a shimmery crop top, showing off a sliver of their stomach, and a denim jacket over it, the sleeves rolled up to their elbows. Two badges saying ‘her/she ’ and ‘they/them ’ pinned to the front of the jacket.

“I know it’s just my opinion.” The platinum haired person said. “But I do have very good opinions.”

“And what snacks woulds your good opinions tell me to go with it?” Mary asked.

“Hmm,” the platinum haired person rubbed their chin as they looked at the movie. “I’d say cheese straws, popcorn and marshmallow bars and pringles and a fizzy drink, both of those flavours to your choice.”

“Oh, those are fancy. Good choices.” Mary said, putting the movie in her basket.

“I’m a fancy person.” The platinum haired person said, chuckling. “I’m Alex by the way.” The platinum haired person held their hand out to Mary.

“Mary.” She said, shaking Alex’s hand.

“Is there anything else you might need my, oh, wise opinions.” Alex asked.

“Just some more shoppings, perhaps your opinions can helps in that.” Mary said, smiling slightly.

“Of course, I’ve only come to pick up some doritos, I can spend some time to share my spectacular opinions.” Alex laughed. “All I ask for is one single coffee as payment.”

“That’ll be good.” Mary said. “Is was lookings at getting a coffee after too.”

“Hah, that sounds good.” Alex laughed, their silver eyeshadow glinting and sparkling in the artificial lights.

They moved through the shop and Mary got her items. Alex convinced Mary to buy a baguette of tiger bread, instead of the one breadcake she was originally going to get.

“I mean, you get more bread for starters,” Alex argued. “And more bread is always nice, but baguettes are way better than breadcakes.”

This was indeed, a very wise opinion. Alex was really living up to their claim.

They finished up their shopping (Alex ended up buying about three packs of doritos instead of just one) and paid. Then they went into the little cafe area.

“Whats would you like?” Mary asked.

“Hmm, I think I’ll have a regular mocha with an extra shot of espresso…” Alex said, reading the sign, stroking their chin, before they shook their head. “No, that’s expensive, I’ll just have an americano.”

Mary nodded and went to the counter. “Two mocha’s please, one with an extra shot of espresso.”

“No, you didn’t need to-” Alex squawked but Mary waved them away.

“I’d like too, you gave me good advices.” Mary said.

“Well, if you insist.” Alex grinned.

They received their coffees and found an empty table.

“Also, you know what,” Alex said as they sat down. “I told you what my snacks for this movie would be, it’s only fair that you tell me what your snacks would be once you’ve watched it.”

“Oh you’re right.” Mary said, smirking and pulling out her phone. “I guess you’re going to have to give me your phone number, are you.”

-- THOMAS & ROBIN --

“No no no, behind you! Behind you!” Thomas shrieked down his mic. Robin’s character span around to face their enemy. However, their enemy was faster. They shotgunned Robin and Thomas threw his head back as the screen threw up their score.

“Hey, chill. Best way to play.” Came Robin’s voice down the mic, the sound of a smirk on his face. “Emote in basement until top 10.”

“I wanted to win.” Thomas huffed.

It was Valentine’s Day and as per their now yearly tradition, Thomas and Robin were playing Fortnite throughout pretty much the entire day. Everybody else was off galavanting around with romance, so the two of them might as well get together online to fight some 8 year olds.

Also the game had a nifty feature where you could put a visual compass for gun fire allowing Thomas to turn the gun audio off but not get caught off guard by people shooting at him.

They launched into a new game and were set up on the waiting island.

“Hey Thomas.” Robin said, moving his character in front of Thomas’.

“Yes, what?” Thomas asked.

Robin’s character smiled serenely. Then played the Never Gonna emote.

Thomas screeched and desperately tried to pick-axe Robin as Never Gonna Give You Up came blaring through Thomas’ TV and Robin’s laughter came rumbling down his headset.

The screen eventually changed to the Battle Bus.

“Huh? Steamy?” Robin muttered. “Have challenges in Steamy.”

Thomas sighed. “Fine. Steamy it is.”

They jumped and skydived over.

They landed and Robin went running off to complete his challenges.

“Don’t go too far,” Thomas said. “There’s other people landing here.”

“Come to me, have assault rifle to face.” Robin muttered.

Thomas harvested and collected his weapons. “I’ve have shield potions for you- I’ve GOT shield potions for you.” Then there was several icons flashing up on his screen indicating there were guns firing.

“Are you fighting?” Thomas asked, wheeling around and heading in the direction of the guns. He quickly pulled up the map as the sound of the claxons indicated the storm was moving. Oh, zone was quite far away.

“Maaaaybe.” Robin sang.

“God, I’m on my way.” Thomas grumbled. He jumped out the window and ran towards the towers. “Have you finished your challenges anyway?”

“Neaaaarly.” Some of Robin’s health disappeared.

“Well, don’t die.” Thomas said. He reached the fighting and helped Robin clear out the rest of the other players.

Once they had been dealt with Thomas dropped the shields. “Now go and finish your challenges. We’re well out of zone, we have to get a move on.”

“Alright, alright. Nearly done, nearly done.”

Thomas checked the map again to see the storm was nearly upon them. That’s what they get for going near the edge of the island.

“I’m going to wait by the towers for you.” Thomas said moving inside the towers. “Come on, hurry up.”

“Tryna- find-- one more needs-” Robin muttered before. “Aha, got one. Coming.”

“Hurry up. We need to leave now.” Thomas cried.

Robin’s character ran up to him. “We got towers. We’re fine.” Then Robin dabbed. Thomas really wished Robin would stop doing that. He didn’t even have a skin of his own and here Robin was rubbing it in his face how many skins and emotes he had.

Still, at least it meant Thomas wasn’t, y’know, playing the game all the time.

“Come on then.” Thomas sighed, jumping into the towers. He shot upwards and activated his glider, rushing away from the storm.

“See, told you we be good.” Robin said.

Thomas grumbled under his breath as they landed next to a couple of houses in zone.

They separated to search both houses and Thomas found a sniper rifle, he was getting quite good with them.

“There’s nothing else in this house,” Thomas said. “Are you ready to move on?”

“Hiding in box, texting.” Came Robin’s response.

Thomas threw his head back and sighed. “Robin, you can text later!”

“Wanna do it now.” Robin whined.

“Who’s so important you have to text now?” Thomas cried. It had better be work.

“It’s Julian!”

It was not work.

“Well you can text that imbecile later.” Thomas snapped.

“Aww, but he’s says he misses me.”

“‘Saying, he’s saying’.” Thomas emphasised. Then he paused. “Wait, isn’t he on a date with Margot, why is he texting you that?”

“Misses me. I was asleep all yesterday, didn’t see him much, missing him since before Christmas.” Robin said simply. “I miss him too. We’re doing something tomorrow evening, Margot’s day today.”

“Ah?” There was a sinking feeling in Thomas’ chest. Thomas had had suspicions for a while but tomorrow, on one of the QPR Day? It can’t be, can it?

“Done text, let’s go.” Robin chirped and the pair started to move again, Robin using Full-Tilt to run.

No, this can’t be, surely. Thomas had already guessed it wouldn’t be romantic but still- Robin didn’t even want anything like that. He’s told Thomas before he wasn’t interested in looking for a QPR… How did HE accidentally fall into one before Thomas, who was actively looking?

Now now, don’t get to ahead with yourself, it might not be-

But I bet it is. This is exactly what you wanted to get away from today. Today of all days was the one day you wanted to escape from having to think about anything like that, but look at you, you can’t escape it. Not ever. Of course you wouldn’t be able to escape it today. Today’s the day when you’re meant to have a partner, everything is telling you you need one. It’ll always come back to that, actively trying to avoid it will never help.

I bet it is and see, you just completely suck at this. If Robin can fall into a partnership so easily whilst you can’t, then you’re never going to get a partner. You’re just going to send the rest of your life alone, unchanging, whilst every single one of your friends gets a partner and then what? Well, then they have no time for you any more and drift away, never wanting to speak to you again.

You’ll never have anyone to look after you, to make you feel special, to make you feel whole. You’ll have no one to rely on, to open up to, to feel safe with, to do things with.

You’re not even a good aro, desperate for romance, the good aros don’t, they can turn it around, they can be happy alone or get platonic partners to fill their void, you can’t. Because you’re broken. Broken and cursed. God what a stupid orientation this is. I can’t be alone forever, I can’t, it’s too much, it’s-

“Thomas? Thomas?”

Thomas blinked and suddenly he was back sitting on his sofa, the large words “Reboot Card Collected” hovering on screen. His eyes were wet, when did they get wet?

“Thomas, okay?” Robin asked, his voice filled with concern.

“Yes, I’m fine!” Thomas snapped, blinking rapidly.

“Froze and got sniped…. Game lag? Or is it the guns-”

“What? No. Nothing to do with the guns, I can’t hear. No, it’s just- Get me to a reboot van.”

Thomas assumed Robin nodded and his character suddenly took off.

Thomas sighed again. Perhaps talking about someone else might take his mind off his woes. “Actually, Robin, there’s something I wanted to ask you.”

Robin made a noise indicating he was listening.

“Are you and Julian in a… relationship?” Thomas asked.

“What?” Robin barked with laughter. “No. Not roman-”

“Yes, I didn’t mean a romantic relationship. I meant, like, a queerplatonic one?”

“Ah,” came Robin’s voice slowly. “No.”

“Do you… want to be?”

There was no response from Robin.

“Robin?”

“Reboot van over here.” Robin muttered.

“Robin?!”

There was another moment of silence before Robin quietly said, “maybe. Maybe think it evolved past squish.”

“Robin, I-”

“Doesn’t matter, Julian won’t want one so- He’s just affectionate, is just how he is.” Robin grunted. “But he has Margot, needs to focus on her, won’t want me butting in. I wouldn’t be able to offer anything, Margot can do everything I can do better and do even more, there’s no real point of me being there. That’s okay. I know I'm only temporary to people, accepted that years ago.

Really just a matter of time until before it’s too pointless and awkward for him to continue now he’s in romantic relation. It’s just matter of time before drops how he acts. It’s cool, I accepted that ages ago.”

“Robin, that’s not true, you’re not temporary. You should try.” Thomas said.

“No,” Robin sighed. “Would just mess us up. And wouldn’t want mess Margot and Julian either. I just gotta get over it. Is difficult though, I tried not hugging him back yesterday… Didn’t work, but tried. I get very excited when he’s with me. Don’t want it to stop but know he will soon. Just want to be with him so much… but no, I won’t- Oh, look, reboot van!”

Who knows what Julian wants, really. Thomas still had his suspicions (now mainly on Julian seeing as they weren’t suspicions on Robin anymore) that Julian wanted something from Robin, but the man was probably just too stupid to realise what. Thomas scowled then shook his head. He wasn’t entirely alone in his aro angsting it seemed.

“You should try and put what you want first sometimes. It’s not good to not allow yourself what you want all the time.” Thomas sighed as his character spang back to life. “And you’re not temporary, I’m not, you aren’t either.”

Robin hummed, a note of disagreement in that hum. “I want him to be happy, and that’s not with me. I want you be happy too. And you will be.”

Thomas was almost going to say ‘thanks’ but then got shot again.

“OH, COME ON!” Thomas howled as Robin built them cover. “Give me a gun,” he said as Robin got him back up. “I’m going to annihilate them.”

-- ALISON + MIKE --

The ground was squishy, Thomas was right, the ground hadn’t dried from the torrent of rain from yesterday.

“I’m sure we’ll be able to find a dry bench to sit on.” Alison muttered, as Mike trudged through the mud next to her.

“A nice empty bench.” Mike sighed. “I’d like that right about now.”

They continued walking until they finally found an empty bench. It was slightly damp but they had been walking across this fields for nearly an hour and they were practically caked in mud.

Mike gasped to catch his breath.

“At least the view is nice.” Mike said eventually, slumping back on the seat.

“It’d be a lot better if we could sit by the lake like we wanted, stupid rain.” Alison grumbled.

“I’ll make it up to you and take you to a nice restaurant.” Mike said. “Probably not today, we won’t be able to get in anywhere.”

“I guessed as much.” Alison sighed. “Oh well, it’s not too bad, is it.”

“No it’s not, er, except the walking part.”

“Oh I know, how far have we walked now?” Alison asked. “Is it, what? Two miles? Maybe more?”

“Uggggh, and we’ve gotta walk that back again. Again.” Mike moaned.

“Well, you should have gone to the gym,” Alison said, nudging Mike in the side. “Perhaps then you’d be able to walk that.”

“Well, perhaps, Saint Valentine’s should have got his day on one which doesn’t rain.” Mike argued. “Then we wouldn’t be in this mess entirely.”

“Yeah, and a day which doesn’t make some of my favourite trainers lathered in mud.” Alison said, trying to kick some off. “And it’s cold.”

“Wish I’d brought your present with us now. Well, no I don’t, they’re heavy, and they’d get even more mud on them- I’ve given it away haven’t I.” Mike groaned.

“Hmm, what a coincidence,” Alison said. “I may have something similar for you too, didn’t want to lug it around either.”

“Oh really?” Mike grinned.

“Hmm, must be great minds think alike.”

“Looks like they do,” Mike said. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Alison reached over and kissed Mike. He hummed and kissed her back before his stomach growled.

“Well,” Alison said, settling back on the seat and grinning. “I know what you want. Let’s eat our cheese sarnies, then head back home,” Alison said, rummaging in their carrier bag for their sandwiches. “Then we start heading back. I’m rather excited to see this mysterious present.”

-- CAP + ADAM --

It was one minute past 6pm, Adam was supposed to be in at 6. Where was he?

He was never late. Adam was always very punctual. It was a wonderful quality and one which Cap admired very much in him.

Well, Cap admired all of Adam's qualities, punctuality was just one of a long list of qualities.

What if he had to spend more time at work? What if he got into a car crash?! No, don’t be ridiculous. Adam was a perfectly fine driver, he would never get into a car crash.

Cap drummed his fingers on the table, as the thought of Adam being a car crash kept flashing through his mind.

Cap had made them tea and it was sitting in the oven keeping warm whilst Cap waited for Adam to arrive. He had also got one of Adam’s favourite movies too. They had only watched it once before and Cap thought it was pretty boring, but Adam enjoyed it, and if Adam enjoyed it, then so would Cap for this evening.

Eventually (10 past 6) there was a knock on Cap’s door. Cap stood up, coughing slightly as he straightened his back and brushed down his clothes as he went to open the door.

“Sorry I’m late.” Adam said as Cap opened the door to him, relief flooding Cap as he saw Adam stood there. “Traffic was a nightmare.”

“That’s okay. You’re here now.” Cap said gently, pulling Adam into a hug, kissing him gently on the cheek.

“Oh, hey,” Adam said, pulling back slightly and grinning. “They’ve approved my week off, so we can book that holiday.”

“Ah, that’s wonderful.” Cap said, his mouth twitching into a smile. He took Adam’s hand and led him into the living area. “I’ve got our tea ready, it’s just keeping warm, I’ll set the table.”

“Okay, I’ll just be a minute.” Adam muttered, disappearing into the bedroom as Cap set up, including turning on the radio to a low volume for some quiet background music.

Once Cap was finished he was just waiting for Adam to return to the dining area. He pulled out his phone and glanced down at it.

There were a lot of messages there.

There were a lot of messages there.

Obviously there were about a thousand from Julian but there were also a few from Mary and Thomas too. Not as much as Julian, thank god, but still more than usual.

Hmm. Cap frowned and decided to ignore them. This wasn’t about them this night.

Eventually Adam returned, having quickly showered and was wearing a soft dressing gown which Cap had bought for him to keep at here. Cap smiled again as he saw Adam. Adam grinned and winked.

There was a gentle patter on the window, out of the corner of Cap’s eye he could see slight raindrops hitting the windows. Adam walked over to him and pulled him back into a hug. Cap buried his head deep into Adam’s neck, rocking back and forth with Adam, his hand snaking up to tangle with Adam’s soft hair.

Adam shifted slightly and kissed Cap’s cheeks until Cap laughed and moved just enough to instead kiss Adam’s lips instead.

Adam hummed as he kissed back.

They stood there, kissing quietly until Adam pulled back to rest his head on Cap’s forehead.

“I think I’d quite like some tea now.” He said, a hint of a grin on his face.

Cap smiled and released Adam as he went to the kitchen area. He dished up their food and the pair sat at the dining table.

“I really cannot tell you how glad I am to be back from work.” Adam sighed as they ate. “I have been so stressed all week.”

“Well, you’re not at work now.” Cap said. “Hopefully I can take your stress away.”

“You’re already doing a good job.” Adam said, smiling. “I mean, your food is really nice for starters.”

“I’m very glad for that. I’ve spent about 4 hours making it.” Cap said stiffy, prodding at some of it with his fork. It could have done for a bit longer in the oven if Cap was being honest.

Adam laughed and they continued to eat until they finished.

“I’ve brought dessert.” Adam announced, clapping his hands together. “I’ll put the dishes away and get it out, relax for a little bit, you’ve already done a lot.” He lent down and dropped a kiss on Cap’s head before picking up the plates and moving around the kitchen area.

Cap rested his head on his hands, those propped up on the table, as he watched Adam bustle around. Cap smiled and when Adam turned around to face him, he beamed.

“Trifle.” Adam said, lifting two bowls up. He came back to the dining area and put a bowl in front of Cap. “One of your favourite flavours.”

“Trifle! Thank you, Adam.” Cap said excitedly, childish glee filling him. He tucked into the dessert with gusto. He then glanced up to see Adam watching him, a soft smile on his face.

“Yes?” Cap asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m just watching you enjoy the dessert.” Adam said, cocking his head to the side as he shot Cap a grin.

“If you’re watching me does that mean you’re not going to eat any of yours?” Cap asked, eyeing the trifle in front of Adam.

“Er, no, I don’t think it does.” Adam laughed, digging into his dessert as he said so.

Once they were finished Cap lent back in his chair, watching Adam get the last parts of his dessert out of his bowl.

“I’ll book the holiday tomorrow.” Cap said. “The hotel and plane tickets. We can get that all organised and prepared. But for now, I’ve got a movie for us. One of your favourites.”

“Aww, Cap, how sweet of you.” Adam beamed. “Oh, and here, I’ve got you a little something.” Adam got out of his chair and rummaged through his bag for a moment before pulling out a card and a box. “Here.” He said, handing Cap the package.

Cap opened the card first.

‘ To August,

Can you believe we’ve been together for 7 months now, the time has absolutely flown by. This has been one of the happiest times of my life and that’s all down to you. When you came into my life, it just went up and has not stopped since. I love talking to you, I love seeing you, I love being with you, I love you. So so much.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

All my love, Adam. ’

Cap smiled, looking at the elegant curve of Adam’s handwriting, then back up to Adam’s shining face.

“Augustus Hawkins, I love you.” Adam said, his eyes shining a determined light which Cap always found himself melting at. Now, as his heart seemed to race at an unparalleled speed, a feeling of warmth spreading through his body and the sensation that he was floating, with only Adam for company at those words, made Cap love that determined light even more.

“And I love you.” Cap said, and Adam beamed more than ever.

“Open your present.” He said, the beam never leaving his face.

Cap set the card down and opened the present. It was a complex looking model set for a spitfire. Cap gasped and beamed.

“Adam, I love this so much! I can’t wait to make it.” He said, holding the box close to his chest.

“I’m really glad you like it,” Adam said. “I hope it’s a good one.”

“I’m sure it will be.” Cap said, setting the box down. “Your presents are by the sofa, let me just-”

“It’s okay, we’ll be going over there in a bit, I can wait until then.” Adam said, waving for Cap to sit back down from where he had half-risen from his seat. “I’d like to see you a little bit more and over to the living room is like a whole 10 seconds away.”

“Aha, right.” Cap sat back down. “Thank you for the presents, and the trifle.”

“And thank you for tea, it was absolutely delicious.” Adam chuckled, before saying. “I really can’t wait, it’s just going to be you and me alone for an entire week, no work, no worries, no Julian.”

“I’m sure he’ll find a way to interrupt us.” Cap grumbled. “I mean he’s been texting me all day nearly… or about 20 times in the space of 5 seconds, I don’t know, I haven’t opened his messages.”

“You haven’t seen any yet? Well, that’s how it’s going to be when we’re on holiday. It isn’t his time now.” Adam grinned and picked up the bowls. He put them away in the sink before stopping.

“Hey.” He said, glancing back over to Cap to shoot him a grin. He then reached over to the radio to turn the sound up. “Would you care to dance?”

The song was a slow song. Cap vaguely recognised the voice but he didn’t know who it was or what the song was, but Adam was there and he wanted to dance. How could Cap say no?

Chapter Text

Cap had been painting these eggs for nearly 3 hours.

They had started out really quite nice, but then Cap started to get cramp and they… started to not… be quite nice.

Also, Cap now had paint all over himself, which was a pain.

Why did he agree to paint these? Pat had said he’d do it if Cap asked.

But no, Cap wanted to be creative, he can do it.

What a way to spend a Saturday evening.

But he did them all, dropping his head onto the table once he was finished, nearly knocking a few of the eggs off the table.

He managed to catch them before they rolled off and ruined his hard work. He could have cried if they got wrecked.

Tomorrow the group were going to Mary’s farm to use her large garden to go egg hunting. Julian had tried to convince Cap to host it at his flat but there was absolutely NO way Cap would leave eggs all over his flat. They’d probably miss some and then Cap would take forever to find them again.

Cap picked his head off the table and put the eggs away in the fridge, and stretched. His back cracked loudly and he grimaced at the unpleasant feeling shot through him.

He managed to shake it off and picked up his phone, it was only 11:15pm.

‘Don’t stay up too late, August, ’ Adam had text an hour ago. ‘ I love you ’

‘I love you too, Adam. ’ Cap text back, smiling gently. ‘ I’m going to bed now .’

He got ready for bed and sat down on his bed when he got another text from Adam.

‘That’s good, so am I. Sleep well :) ’

‘Goodnight. ’ Cap text before deciding to go back and change the message to ‘ Goodnight! ’ instead.

“Perhaps we should have put them in a basket before we came out.” Pat said as he helped Cap move the eggs through Mary’s garden, all the eggs piled up into their arms.

It was the morning the sun was already shining.

They approached the door to the house to hide some eggs around the front when the door opened and a person with silver hair jumped as they almost walked into the two.

“Oh, hi.” The person said, their eyes wide at the sudden startle.

“Hi, I’m Pat.” Pat said cheerfully. Cap frowned at him. You really shouldn’t be giving your name out so quickly like that.

“Uhh, I’m Alex.” The silver haired person said. Or, Alex said. “I- uhh- hear you’re going egg hunting.”

“Yes, we are.” Cap said stiffly.

Mary then came bustling out of the front door.

“Hi Cap, hi Pat. Is see you’ve met Alex.” Mary said, smiling at Alex.

“Ah, Cap? Oh! So this is the famous Cap.” Alex said, grinning.

“Yeah he is.” Both Pat and Mary said at the same time. Cap felt a slight blush creep across his face. He coughed and looked away, staring to face the sky to hide the redness in his face as the three of them looked at Cap, beaming.

“Would yous like to stay for the egg hunt?” Mary asked Alex.

“Oh, I wouldn’t want to impose on your gang.” Alex said.

“You wouldn’t, I’d like yous to stay.” Mary said, nudging Alex on the shoulder with hers.

“You’re more than welcome to hang out.” Pat said. “Don’t worry about imposing. You’re not,”

“Yous can join my side,” Mary said. “Then wes can find the most eggs.”

“That does sound like fun,” Alex said, grinning. “Yeah, I think I’ll join. I’ll find the most eggs, I’ll kick everyone else’s asses.” They bumped back into Mary who grinned back at them.

“Oh, and do yous knows what.” Mary said. She took hold of Alex’s hand. “We be dating.”

Pat gasped and danced on the spot. “That’s amazing, I’m so happy for you both.” He said. “I would clap but my arms are a bit full.”

“That’s alright, I can clap for you.” Alex laughed, clapping their hands together without first dropping Mary’s. Mary smiled softly at Alex as they did so.

“I’m very happy for both of you too.” Cap said. “Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to put these eggs somewhere before I drop them all.” He turned to face down the side of the house and out of the corner of his eye he saw Mary and Alex stumble out of the doorway.

“Hi Cap.” Came a sudden loud voice, practically shouting at him.

Cap jumped and scrambled to keep all the eggs in his arms. Once he was sure they weren’t going to topple to oblivion he turned and glared at whoever shouted.

It was Jack, Mary’s brother, who was grinning widely at him.

“Don’t shout that like.” Cap yapped. “Who knows what issues you could cause.”

“Ah it’s alrights- hi Pat too.” Jack said.

“Don’t push us then, Jack.” Mary grumbled, patting Alex’s arm as the pair rightened themselves.

“Aww, I’m sorry Mary.” Jack said, in a tone of voice of someone who wasn’t sorry in the slightest.

“No yous aren’t.” Mary said. Jack nodded at that.

“Wells anyway, enough of that.” Jack said. “Enjoys your egg hunting. I’m going for a Chinese.”

“Oh I would like a Chinese right about now.” Alex muttered as Jack waved and left towards the garage.

“Same,” Mary said. “Or Indian.”

“I do love an Indian.” Alex said.

“Well, we have eggs.” Cap said. “Lots and lots of eggs. You can have them if you can find them.”

“I’ll find them!” Alex said, their eyes ablaze.

“Yes, well. Don’t go watching or else you’ll know where they all are.” Cap said. He jerked his head to indicate for them to leave and Mary took Alex’s hand and led them back inside.

“The others won’t be showing up for a while yet.” Cap heard Mary say as they disappeared.

“Hmm, yes, when are the others coming?” Cap asked Pat.

“They should start turning up in about a half hour,” Pat said. “So let’s get these eggs well hidden.”

The pair went off and hid the eggs, finishing just in time as Mike and Alison arrived, bringing some food with them.

“Alright, let’s hunt some eggs.” Mike cheered.

“Not yet,” Cap said. “We have to wait for the rest of them to show up.”

“No, it’s alright, Cap.” Alison said. “We can just go and find them all, when the others show up, well, you’ve just hidden them really well haven’t you.”

“As much as I would like to, I feel like that some of the others might egg me.” Cap muttered.

“Whos might eggs you?” Came Mary’s sudden voice as she and Alex appeared back outside.“None of your business.” Cap snapped.

“Oh, new people.” Alex said quietly. “Hi, I’m Alex, Mary’s girlfriend.” They said louder.

“Oh nice.” Alison said, grinning. “I’m Alison and this is my husband Mike.”

“Hey how’s it going?”

“It’s good, you?” Alex asked and Mike nodded.

“Now that all the niceties are out of the way,” Cap said. “Can we please go and set up the tables before the others barge their way in.”

They set their tables up just in time for Kitty and Thomas to arrive.

“I can’t wait for this, I’m going to vlog this, it’s going to be so much fun.” Kitty said, jumping up and down.

Thomas threw his head back and sighed. “This is so stupid.”

“Yes it is. This wasn’t my idea.” Cap said. “But did you bring food?”

Kitty gasped. “Yes I did. I don’t know if Thomas did, but I did.”

“I brought food!” Thomas snapped. “If we’re putting it out now I’ll get it out my car- I’ll get yours as well seeing as you left it in there.”

“Will you?” Kitty asked, her eyes shining.

Thomas stared at her for a moment before sighing again. “Fine, I’ll go get your stuff.”

“Thank you, Thomas.” Kitty shouted after him as Thomas shuffled back off to his car.

As they all started to fill their tables with food when the others started to show up, bringing more food with them.

“Hey, Cap. Are you going to give me any hints for the eggs?” Adam asked, throwing his arms around Cap and kissing him on the cheek.

“Yes, they’re hidden. Beyond that you’ll have to find them yourself.” Cap said, kissing him back on the cheek.

Adam groaned and laughed. “Okay, I’ll take this challenge.”

Cap smiled slightly but that quickly vanished when he felt a sudden jab in his side. He glared behind him to see Margot stood there.

“What?” Cap asked.

“Who’s the pretty lady?” She asked, her eyes following Alex.

“Alex,” Cap said. “They’re Mary’s girlfriend.”

“Ah, okay. Mary has very nice taste.” Margot turned to nod at Cap.

It was then Julian came rushing over to them.

Cap sighed and turned to face them, sliding his arm around Adam’s waist, who laughed slightly.

“Have you told him?” Julian asked, a touch of mania in his voice.

“Told me what?” Oh god, Julian didn’t try and propose did he? Oh God, he did, didn’t he! He did and now everything is going to kick off, and Cap will be dragged into the whole mess and- God he did not have the energy for that already!

“Margot’s going on her final placement.” Julian gasped. “But it’s in London! For 3 weeks.”

Cap huffed and scowled at Julian.

311.

For making him panic.

“It’s only for 3 weeks.” Margot said as she arrived, with a note of tiredness in her voice, as though they had been over this a hundred times before. “I need to go to finish my doctorate, you’ll just have to deal with phone calls for 3 weeks.”

“But 3 weeks is such a long time.” Julian whined.

Margot shrugged. “I’m still going, you’ll just have to deal with it.”

Julian continued to cry and Margot shoved him slightly.

“Just spend all the time with Robin, it’ll pass quickly.” She said.

“Robin’s been acting weird recently.” Julian muttered, glancing over at Robin, who was talking with Mary and Alex.

“Well then, use the time to figure out what’s bothering him.” Cap said.

“But what if it’s awkward?” Julian whimpered.

Margot sighed and dragged her hand over her face whilst Cap rolled his eyes.

“It’ll only be awkward if you make it awkward.” Adam said, struggling not to laugh. “Just see if he’s feeling alright and if not, try and take his mind off whatever’s bothering him.”

Julian sighed before perking back up, slapping a grin on his face. “Alright, Margot, focus hard on your studies. I’ll be okay, I’ll focus hard on making Robin feel better then.”

“You best do.” Margot said, her eyes darting to meet Cap’s. Hmm, hopefully Julian and Robin might be able to work some stuff out during that.

“I think everyone’s here,” Pat said, walking up to them. “So let’s get everyone split up and start this egg hunt, eh.”

“Yes, lets.” Cap said. “Adam, you’re on Patrick’s side. Then no one can claim I’m giving you hints.” Then he quickly turned to Julian. “Also, Patrick, take Julian. Please.”

Julian gasped and clutched hold of Margot. “Do you not want me?”

“No.” Cap said, sliding his arm from Adam and walked further into the rest of the group. “We’re going to split you all into two groups, one looked over by Patrick, the other by myself. Adam and Julian are already going in Patrick’s team. Adam so I don’t accidentally try and help him win, Julian because he’s being a bitch-” (“Hey!”) “- so I shall have Mary and Alex on my team. Patrick, two more for you?”

“I’ll go with Fanny and Alison.”

“Then I’ll take Margot and Mike.”

“Hah, I’m totally gonna beat you.” Alison laughed, raising and ‘L’ to her forehead, pointing at Mike. Julian meanwhile, was making grabby hands, whining as Margot walked away from him.

“Ah, that’s how you’re gonna be!” Mike grinned. “I am going to find so much more eggs than you.”

“And I’ll take Robin and Thomas.” Pat said, leaving Cap with Kitty and Humphrey.

The group split into their teams, picking up a basket as they went and Cap felt almost shoved to a side as Fanny and Margot glared at each other around him.

Hmm, they were really taking their rivalry from a stupid card game a few months ago this seriously?

“Okay, good luck everybody.” Pat said, clapping his hands together.

“But mainly good luck to my team.” Cap said.

“Although it’s best if everyone just has fun.” Pat insisted.

“Fun with my team beating yours.”

“Oh?” Pat grinned devilishly and clenched his hands into fists. “If that’s how you want to play it. My team rules, you’re sucks and we’re going to win. Let’s go, team!”

The team (or Cap’s too to be fair) did not respond with much enthusiasm. Except for Alex, who positioned themselves in the starting point for a cheer, but when nobody else moved they froze in it before slowly deflating.

“Let’s just go get this over with.” Fanny grumbled and the two teams started to move.

It didn’t take too long until Cap’s team found an egg. Kitty gasped as she raised it up to the sky.

“Ah, Cap, it’s so pretty. How long did it take you to paint them?” She asked.

“About three hours.” Cap grunted, folding his arms.

“We thank you for your patience.” Margot said in a dry tone.

The group scattered around the garden. Kitty and Alex seemed to be the only two who were the most enthusiastic.

“Mary, look, I found another one.” Alex said, bringing a purple egg which Cap was rather proud of to view. “This is really good. How many do we have now?”

Cap glanced down at the basket he was holding. Everyone was throwing their eggs in when they found one. “7.” He announced. “You might have to start delving into the other parts of the garden. Don’t be shy. Pat has losing coming.”

“That group’s got to learn they can’t beat me at games like this.” Alex said, grinning. “Come on.” They took hold of Mary’s hand and pulled her across the garden.

Then Kitty gasped. “Cap! How come you’re not wearing Easter Bunny ears? You brought the eggs, so you should play the part.”

“I am not wearing bunny ears.” Cap squawked.

“But they’ll look so cute on you.” Kitty said.

“Absolutely no way.”

“Aw, go on.” Humphrey said, appearing by his side. “She’s right, you’ll just like a cute little bunny with cute little bunny ears. We can stick some carrots and milk for you as a treat.”

“You’re thinking of Santa’s reindeer there, mate.” Mike said.

Humphrey paused. “You know what, I think you’re right. What do you give the Easter Bunny?”

“I don’t think you give the Easter Bunny anything.” Margot said.

“No, no, wait.” Cap said suddenly. “Give me stuff.”

 The egg hunt went on for another 20 minutes or so and the only other thing of note was when Margot and Fanny happened to come across the same egg at the exact same time.

“I found it first.” Fanny argued, hands on her hips. “Go and find your own egg.”

“I found this one first. It’s mine.” Margot hissed.

“I was already standing here reaching for it when you arrived.”

“That’s a complete lie.” Margot crossed her arms. “Julian, wasn’t I here first.”

The two of them turned to look at Julian who was standing there, eyes darting between the two of them. Clearly trying to weigh up whether to side with his girlfriend or his Easter Egg Hunting team.

“I don’t know,” he eventually said. “I only just got here.”

“Julian!” Margot snapped.

“So I’m just going to take it-” Fanny started, reaching for the egg.

“Absolutely not.” Margot darted forward and the two scrambled over the egg until it-

“Well, that doesn’t count any more.” Cap muttered, looking at the broken egg lying on the grass.

“That was your fault!” Fanny cried.

“Mine? That was yours!” Margot huffed.

“You knocked it out of my hands.”

“No, you knocked it out of mine!”

Cap sighed and shook his head. Best leave them too it.

Eventually all of the eggs had been collected (Cap was pretty sure, he couldn’t quite remember how many he had brought) or smashed, Cap and Pat met at the table to count the eggs in their baskets. They counted their eggs and Cap nodded.

“We have 14.” Cap said.

“We have 14 too.”

There was a slam on the table.

“The 15th egg was our!” Fanny shouted.

“You mean, ours.” Margot snapped.

Cap groaned and buried his head in his hands.

“Well, it doesn’t matter, we didn’t actually have anything to give out as a prize anyway.” Pat said, grinning nervously.

Margot and Fanny grumbled but settled down, glaring at each other.

“Now we can all sit down and have some lunch.” Pat said. He clapped his hands together and everyone sat down, immediately diving into the food.

“Oo, shall we go get our stuff.” Alex said to Mary. Mary nodded and the two disappeared back into the house as everyone else tapped the table in anticipation of the food Mary might have made.

The pair eventually came back, Alex carrying a platter of well filled sandwiches and Mary carrying a plate of cake and buns.

“I hopes you like them all.” Mary said. “The cake is a cheesecake, but the buns are chocolate chip.”

“And on the sandwiches,” Alex said, slamming the platter down, beaming manically. “We got chicken and stuffing, ham and lettuce, cheese and lettuce, beef, and just lettuce. Though I highly recommend eating the sandwiches before the cake, y’know.”

“What if Is want to eat the cake first?” Mary asked.

“Then that’s the wrong opinion. You’re welcome to do it, but it’s the wrong opinion.” Alex laughed.

The group then fell upon Mary and Alex’s food and started to break into excitable conversation.

“I don’t really like eggs,” Kitty said. “But your eggs were very pretty.” She told Cap.

“Good, you can take them home if you like, I’m not going to eat them.” Cap muttered.

“Oh no, I don’t like them, they’re just very pretty.”

Cap rolled his eyes. He could give her the remaining paints then if she liked them so much. He wasn’t going to use them either.

“How long have you been baking anyway, Mary.” Alex asked.

“For pretty much my wholes life.” Mary said proudly. “Me and Jack learnt together when we were kids. It was very good that we grew up on the farm, could get all our ingredients out of our doorway. Our grandma was very rigorous abouts us learning how to bake. She didn’t care much for cooking though, just baking. Jack also can’t make cakes or bread as good as me though.”

“I don’t think anyone can.” Kitty beamed. “You make the best cakes.”

“Don’t make best bread through.” Robin mumbled between mouthfuls of sandwiches.

“Is bet I could.”

“Couldn’t. I make best bread.” Robin grinned. “Wheat is on my flag.”

“I don’t think your country’s flag having the ingredient to make bread on it means you can make good bread.” Cap said.

“You never had my bread.”

“It is very good bread.” Julian said, bumping his shoulder into Robin’s. Robin smiled, even a slight blush appearing on his face. Then his smile dropped slightly and he shifted, his eyes flicking away and back to Julian repeatedly.

“How come!” Thomas said suddenly, very loudly “You two have never tried each other’s bread then? You’ve known each other for a while haven’t you?” Julian looked over at Thomas and Robin exhaled. Huh, yeah, Julian was right, Robin is acting a little weird. Cap really hoped everything didn’t crash and burn. He could not be bothered to deal with the drama.

“Oh, yeah, hows come we’ve never done that before?” Mary asked.

Robin shrugged, the blush still faintly on his face. “Cause you know I’d beat you.”

“You would not.”

“Would.”

“Would not.”

“Would.”

“Why don’t you try it sometime.” Alex said. “I can judge. You can have it as blind taste-test, that way I won’t have even the slightest touch of bias. I mean, I won’t have bias anyway. Good bread is good bread, I can tell which is which.”

“Alright, will do bread challenge.” Robin grunted.

“This is just a ways for you to eat more bread isn’t it.” Mary asked, to which Alex grinned and shrugged. “Fines, I’ll do it too.”

“Oooh, can I join in too?” Kitty asked. “I’d love to try the bread too.”

“Course,” Alex smiled. “Of course, I have impeccable tastes when it comes to bread, but it’s always nice to have a second opinion to back up my correct one.”

“Aah! When can we do it? Can we do it tomorrow?”

Both Mary and Robin shook their heads and simultaneously said: “I’m at work tomorrow.” Although, that was the line they said, but both deviated into their… quirky way of talking.

“What is it you do for work, Mary?” Adam asked, whilst Kitty turned to pestering Robin. “Like, I know you work here, but you also do some other work don’t you?”

“Yes, I’ve bumped into you at the university a few times, haven’t I.” Margot added in.

“Is work at the humanities department at the unis. In the folklores section mainly, dealing with local myths and histories.” Mary said. “Is use to- when Is starting coming to this group, work there as a freelancer, buts now I’ve gots a part-time permanent job theres doing research.”

“That’s pretty interesting.” Adam said, leaning onto the table so much that Cap glared at him as he nearly elbowed a plate of sandwiches off it. Adam shot him a quick smile and returned back to Mary.

“How did you even get a job there, that sounds so cool.” Alex asked.

Mary blushed and smiled nervously. “Is worked at the library, this was about 5 years ago. The library newspaper wanted columns to fills up so Is said Is could get some folklore articles for them. They said ‘yes’ and I wrote quite a few out for them. Jack said they were good articles and I coulds try to go further with them. I’ve actually never seen him be so nice to me before.

“But anyway, I tried getting stuff published, but nobody wanted newspaper articles on the subject. But what Is did find was that the uni was lookings for freelance researchers. So I applied for that and got the job.”

“How long were you there before you walked out in front of my bike?” Robin asked.

“Three months. And Is still say you shouldn’t have been there.”

“I was on cycle track to car park!”

“The cycle tracks for pushbikes, not motorbikes.”

Robin laughed nervously. “I was in hurry, there was traffic jam… you walk out into push bike lanes without looking anyway?”

“Shut up!”

“How’d you get into folklore in the first place?” Alex asked. “Was it something you picked up at the library?”

“No, that was froms my aunt. She likes folklore quite a lot and her stories got me into it too.” Mary said. “She’s also trans too and I remembers really admiring her more than the rest of my family, when Is was a kid but didn’t knows why. Is thought it was because Is really liked folklore. I mean, I’m right there too.”

“Aww, that’s so cute.” Alison said.

Mary smiled again and blushed. Most likely from all the attention.

“So, Alex,” Pat said, diverting the attention away from Mary, who, Cap guessed, was pretty thankful for. “What do you do?”

“I work in a Tesco-” Alex started to say, but was interrupted by Julian banging his fist on the table.

“That’s where I recognise you from!” He all but shouted. “Do you work in the one down Chants Ave?”

Alex seemed to be in somewhat of a state of shock as they slowly nodded.

“I worked there a couple of months back when my shift locations had to be spun around. I think I worked with you maybe one or two days?”

“Eeeerrrr,” Alex erred. “I… don’t remember… You don’t look familiar to me at all… Sorry, but I’ll take your word for it.”

Julian seemed to deflate drastically at the prospect of being unmemorable. Cap felt no sympathy for him. If he wanted to be remembered, he had to be more memorable.

“But, I work at Tesco though I do a lot of art too.” Alex continued, laughing slightly. “So if anyone is interested, I’ve got an Etsy and a Redbubble account, not to self-plug or anything. Oh, and now I’m dating Mary and that is so great!”

Mary blushed again and took hold of Alex’s hand.

The meal continued as they started to devolve into fighting for cake.Julian was attempting to feed Margot cake, but Margot was steadfast refusing to accept the spoonfuls.

“Feed yourself, Julian.” She muttered, pushing the spoon into Julian’s face.

“But I don’t get to see you for weeks, come on, let me do this.” Julian whined.

“Absolutely not.”

“Right, Is have to go and feed the chickens,” Mary announced, standing up. “Would anyone like to come with me?”

“I will.” Alex said.

“I’ll come too.” Adam said, glancing back at Cap. “Want to come too?”

“Those chickens are my mortal enemy.” Cap grunted.

“Aww, come on.” Adam said. He took hold of Cap’s arm and pulled him up.

Everyone else passed, deciding to continue eating the cake instead.

The journey to the accursed chickens was a short one, but there they all were, clucking like there would be no tomorrow. Upon seeing the four of them, the chickens immediately started to make their way over to them. Cap might even call it angrily charging at them.

“Aww, there’s so cute aren’t they.” Alex said, bending down to watch the things closer.

“Very adorable.” Adam said, laughing as he looked at Cap.

Cap, meanwhile, was staring at the chickens crowding him, each and every one of them attempting to rip his trousers and tear into his skin.

“Vile little things.” Cap growled and Adam burst into laughter.

“They’re not that bad.” He said, looping his arm around Cap’s.

“No, no,” Cap sighed, glaring at them. “They are.”

“Here.” Mary said, handing the three of them a small jug full of chicken feed. “Spread out the feed and they’ll do the work from theres.”

Cap gritted his teeth as he stared at the chickens in their awful, beady eyes. He aimed his jug as far away from him as possible as threw the feed over there. The chickens clucked and ran over to it, scrambling to eat it all as fast as possible.

“Are they really that bad?” Adam asked.

“They try to bite me.”

“That’s just because they love you so much.” Adam said, grinning and bumping his head against Cap’s. “Though not as much as I love you.”

Mary’s sudden laughter came rippling through the air. Cap looked over to see her and Alex throwing the feed around, arms wrapped around each other.

“They look good together.” Adam said.

“They do, don’t they.” Cap said. He rearranged their arms to take hold of Adam’s hand. “Though I think we look good too.”

Adam laughed again, his voice a musical note in Cap’s ears. “Yeah, I think we do.”

Chapter Text

Cap shuffled the chairs around as he waited for everyone to show up. It was the quiz night tonight.

Adam wasn’t able to make it tonight so Cap was waiting alone. Alex also had work and Margot had been away in London for a week now, so neither of them would be here too. It looks like it would be just the original group of them.

Cap was already deciding who he’s going to team up with. Pat and Alison would be good choices, they’ve got good general knowledge. Thomas would be good at literature questions, Robin would be good for science, Kitty would be good for popular culture. Hmm, decisions, decisions.

He knew he wouldn’t want Julian on his team. God, all Julian would be talking about would be Margot. Or rather, Julian would be whining about Margot not being here. God, Julian had been whining so much already and it had only been a week.

It wasn’t too long until the first members showed up. These being Alison and Mike.

“We have had the day from hell.” Alison cried, slumping into a chair and dropping her head on the table.

Cap hummed. “Sure.”

“It’s been so bad.” Alison stressed.

“Right.”

“Like, really, really awful.” Alison grunted.

“Fine.” Cap bit. “What’s up?”

“Our flat.” Alison said, banging her hands on the table. “It’s falling apart.

“Like, really really falling apart.” Mike sighed.

“We’ve been calling and calling the landlord for months about them all and he just won’t do anything. Says it’s not his problem.” Alison said. “We’ve had to use duct tape to keep the living room window from falling out because the frames have all rotten away. Not his problem? It is! I’ve looked it up. We’re only responsible if the window glass gets damaged, not if the frames just break.”

“That doesn’t sound good.” Came Pat’s voice. He appeared standing next to Cap, a look of shock on his face. He must have come from his scouts because he was still wearing his uniform.

“It’s really not.” Mike said.

“Well then, Alison, you just have to be more authoritative with your landlord. No use complaining about it. Do something further about it.” Cap said.

“I don’t know what else I can do.” Alison groaned.

“Do about what? Oh no, what’s happened? Alison, has something bad happened?” And suddenly Kitty was there, clutching Alison’s arm. 

“Just an ongoing issue with our flat.” Alison said.

“If you have any issues, you can stay with me.” Kitty said.

“Or you can stay with me.” Thomas said. Huh, he must have come with Kitty. “Though I only have space for one of you. Perhaps, Alison. You can stay with me. Mike can stay with Kitty.”

“Hmm, yeah. We’re not doing that.” Alison said, turning back to the table.

The group settled around the table as Fanny, Mary, Julian and Robin arrived. Julian had his arm draped around Robin’s shoulder, the two of them holding helmets. Huh, they came on Robin’s bike then.

Eventually they all managed to seat up and half of them had downed an entire glass of whatever alcohol they had decided on.

“Ughhh, I don’t know what to do.” Alison moaned. “I don’t wanna live there anymore.”

“Aww, how come?” Julian asked. “Is it Mike?”

“What? No.” Alison snapped.

“I don’t want to live there either.” Mike said.

“It’s because of our stupid landlord.” Alison cried. “Barclay is just not doing anything-”

“Oof, you’ve got Barclay as your landlord?” Though Julian did not sound very upset. He was laughing if anything. “Yeah, that’ll do it.”

“You know him?”

“He’s a friend of the family.” Julian said. “I’ve met him several times. Whenever I get the estimated luxury of being told I need to attend somewhere by my parents, he’s usually there too.”

“I didn’t think you talked to your family any more.” Fanny said.

Julian shrugged. “Once per year or so they bundle me into a car to take me to a party so we can look like a put together family still. The only time I’ve ever actually managed to get out of it was when my uncle was visiting and he threatened to conk my father over the head with his walking stick. That was a good time.” He waved his hand and shook his head. “But back to Barclay. Yeah, you’ve got some rotten luck having him as a landlord. He’s never going to do anything for you ever.”

“But it was cheap…” Mike said, before adding, “when we first rented it.”

“He just keeps racking that rent up.” Alison grumbled. Then she perked her head up. “Julian. You know him, can you talk to him for us?”

“What? I-I- what? No. No no no no- I’m not- I don’t want- I’m not getting involved.” Julian eventually stumbled out. “If I talk to him then he’ll talk to my parents- and they’ll come back to me- I don’t want to do that.”

She groaned again and shook her head. “But you know what. We’re just going to ignore that and do some quizzing.”

“Speaking of quizzing.” Cap said, getting out his chair and heading over to the quiz master. Collecting some tablets and the money jar, he returned to the table and lobbed the tablets at them. “Come on. Cough up.”

There was soon the clattering of pound coins into the jar. Cap was very surprised to see Julian toss one of his own in.

Hmm, Cap’s decided not to join a group with either Alison or Mike. They seemed pretty distracted tonight. And having Robin would mean Julian would come along too.

He ended up with Pat, Humphrey, Kitty and Thomas. That seemed like a decent lineup. If they all paid attention that is.

…

…

…

They were 5 questions in. They were not paying attention.

“Oh, I knew that question!” Thomas piped up as the answer to a literature question slid off the screen.

“Why didn’t you say anything then?” Cap grumbled.

Thomas shrugged, “she was distracting me.” He said, pointing at Kitty.

“Oh, sorry. I’ll try and keep quiet now.” Kitty said.

She managed to keep that up for all of 5 seconds before she fell back into chattering away into Thomas’ ear.

“And the next question is a maths question.” The quizmaster said and Cap sat back in his chair, not even bothering to continue listening as several digits appeared on screen as Pat clapped his hands and started working it out.

Instead, as Pat tried to figure out the answer, Cap glanced over at Julian. He was half-surprised Julian hadn’t immediately tried to talk Cap’s ear off as soon as he walked in about how much he missed Margot. Hmm, it might be something to do with the fact that Julian was instead whittering on to Robin.

Julian was trying to lean closer to Robin, a wicked grin on his face as he rattled on away about something. Robin was sat rather stiff, a small smile on his face, the tablet laid in front of him, coloured blue of the lock-answer in page.

…

Wait…

Hang on, had Robin worked out the maths problem already?

…

Well, he supposed Robin did have to know maths to be a physicist.

“I think it’s this.” Pat muttered, inputting a number onto the tablet.

“Alright,” the quizmaster said. “So the answer to that is-” he read off a long number and Pat’s shoulders slumped.

“Aww, I was wrong.” He said.

“You got closer then what I got.” Kitty said, still with her fingers still raised in counting.

“I didn’t even finish the equation.” Humphrey muttered.

“Right,” Cap barked. “Come on, you lot. We’ve got to focus on this now. We haven’t gotten a single one right so far.”

“Well what about you? Come on, you have to pull your weight too.” Thomas snapped.

“We can all do our best.” Kitty said, smiling. “That’s all we can do. And if we do our best then we’ll win either way.”

Cap and Thomas glared at her but she didn’t seem to notice as Pat agreed with her.

The quiz continued, Cap managed to get a few hits out there, as did Kitty and Pat. Thomas only got one, but that was a shout-out answer and Thomas practically slammed his fists on the tablet to call the quizmaster over as he gave the guy the answer, a look of fire in his eyes.

Eventually the quiz came to an end not a moment too soon, as Cap and Thomas were at each other's throat.

“How did you miss that one?” Thomas said. “I thought you knew about war stuff like that.”

“It was about the 100 Years War. I don’t know about every war.” Cap snapped. “How about you? You barely even tried on stuff that I know you know about.”

“How do you know what I know about?” Thomas cried. “I might not know anything for all you know.”

“Or so you don’t know anything?”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.” Thomas said.

“Well how should I know what you meant? You just said I don’t know what you know” Cap barked.

“Come guys,” Pat said, standing in between them. “We didn’t come last, so it doesn’t really matter.”

“Yes, we all did our best, so it was all fun.” Kitty said, clapping her head.

Cap and Thomas grunted and Kitty dragged Thomas to the bar, chattering happily again to him.

“I know we didn’t beat the others, but we still did pretty well.” Pat continued.

“They had more people on their team.” Cap huffed.

“Well, two of them are Alison and Mike. So I don’t think they were exactly paying attention.”

Hmm, that did seem true. The pair of them were huddled together, discussing something and fretting somewhat.

Cap trundled over to Julian and punched him on the arm.

“Ow, what was that for?” Julian cried.

“Why don’t you talk to their landlord?” Cap asked.

“Because, I said. I don’t want to get involved and it come back to me via my parents.”

“Alright then. You must be able to give them some knowledge or something they can work with, seeing as you know him.”

Julian gasped, a smirk on his face. “Cap, are you telling me to give them blackmail material?”

“Don’t be daft, blackmail is illegal. I’m asking you to give them some leverage. Contacts or something like that if you can’t think of anything else.” Cap said.

Julian hummed, the smirk still not leaving his face. “I’ll think about it.”

“C’mon, Julian.” Robin said, leaning closer towards Julian, gently resting his hand on Julian’s arm. “Help them out.”

Julian’s eyes flickered to Robin’s hand for a brief second before he sighed. “Okay, I’ll see what I can do. They’re just so pitiful, aren’t they.”

“Excellent, I look forward to seeing your results.” Cap said. He nodded and left the pair to it. Cap reckoned they hadn’t gotten any further, but at least they weren’t crashing and burning… at the moment. God, Julian can be dense sometime.

Eventually the group decided to call it a night and Cap hung around the car park, watching everyone get into their cars (or in Robin and Julian’s case, on the motorbike) and drive off. Once he managed to get into his car and pulled his phone up.

‘I’m on my way to yours.’ He sent to Adam.

‘Can’t wait to see you ;) ’ Adam sent back.

Cap grinned and set off.

“I don’t wanna do this.” Julian moaned into the table.

“You promised them you would.” Cap said. “And stop complaining so loudly. We are in McDonald’s you know.”

“Eh, I’m sure they’ve seen way more kids crying to care.” Julian grunted.

“Yes, but I don’t want to see or hear it.”

Julian raised his head off the table and shot a glare at Cap. “Fine.” He sat up and folded his arms. “If I have to talk to my parents, I’m dragging you with me.”

“Fine. I’ll face them with you if need be.”

Julian blinked. “Huh? You will?”

Cap nodded. “Of course. You think I would just leave you by yourself there?”

Julian darted over the table and grabbed hold of Cap’s hand tightly. “Thank you thank you thank you.”

“Julian.” Cap barked, trying to drag his hand away from him. “Calm down.”

“No.”

“Yes.” Cap managed to jerk his hand away and Julian slinked back to his seat, a grin on his face. “Though when does Margot get back? Perhaps she can fill in for me.”

“She’s still away for a week and a half.” Julian said before pouting. “She’s still away for a week and a half, I miss her so much. This is so difficult, I want to see her now.”

Oh, why did Cap mention Margot? They were having a nice hour or so where Julian wasn’t talking about her nonstop for once.

“She’s been sending me photos, she looks like she’s having a great time in London. And she looks great, Cap. She’s so pretty and beautiful and hggg- so hot. You should see the photos she sent me, she looks so good. Here.” He pulled out his phone, grinning wildly. “When she’s out she looks so radiant. But when she’s in her hotel room, she is so sexy! Here-”

“I do not want to see those photos, Julian.” Cap said quickly before Julian could select those photos. “Just show me the photos of her out and about if you must.”

Julian nodded, his eyes wide and gleaming as he selected Margot’s selfies of her standing outside some London buildings.

“Isn’t she so pretty?” Julian said. “I love her so much!”

“She does certainly look like she’s having a good time.” Cap muttered. “Are her studies going well?”

Julian nodded, slipping his phone away. “She’s really enjoying it.” Then his smile dropped. “She’s really enjoying London too. What if she doesn’t want to come back?” He cried.

“She’s going to have to come back, she has to finish uni here.” Cap said.

“Yes, but what if she wants to go out again? I can’t afford to live in London.”

“Well you’ll just have to tell her that.” Cap tried but Julian was already looking into the middle distance.

“I won’t be able to stop her from moving back there, and I can’t follow her. She’ll leave, go to the other side of the country. Petrol is expensive, Cap. I won’t be able to go and see her a lot. Cap, what if she leaves me?”

Cap erred before shaking his head. “If it comes to that, you’ll just have to talk to her and work it out with her. Though she won’t leave you just for a city, Julian.”

Julian whined. “I love her, Cap. I really do. Perhaps it’s time I think about propos-”

“Absolutely not. You’ve only been together 5 months. That’s still a ridiculous idea and she won’t go for it. Now shut up and eat your mcflurry, Julian.”

They sat in silence for a good while before Cap ventured a topic again.

“How’s Robin?”

“Better, I think.” Julian said slowly. “He’s still acting a bit funny. He keeps hesitating when I try to hug him, but then he immediately hugs me way tighter than I would ever expect. And when I look at him he gets flustered, but I catch him staring at me all the time. But he’s also initiating other physical contact with me so I am ecstatic about that. It’s almost like he’s got a crush, but I know won’t be anything like that, so it must be something he’s worried about...” his voice lowered to a hush. “I think it’s got something to do with his brother.”

“Hmm, really?” Cap said through gritted teeth. How can somebody be so close and yet so far from the correct answer? Cap was half-tempted to tell him, but was stopped by three things. 1) It wasn’t Cap’s thing to tell. 2) He hadn’t managed to corner Thomas and get to him to spill on QPRs so Cap didn’t want to misrepresent Robin. And 3) Whilst both he and Margot were pretty sure, there was still a 10% chance that they were both wrong (they had both agreed that there was about a 5% chance that they were wrong about Julian feeling the same way). So instead Cap sat there, stiffly nodding as Julian went into a tyrad about Robin’s brother.

Julian ran himself out of steam eventually, scrapping the last of his mcflurry out of the tub. “Right, I’m done.” He announced, throwing the tub and spoon down.

“Good, it’s time to take you home. I think I’ve had enough of you for one night.”

Cap was sat on Alison and Mike’s couch, watching them pace up and down the creaking, bowing floorboards. Julian had selected a patch of wall which wasn’t damp and was leaning against it, cleaning out his fingernails. There was a steady drip as a leak somewhere in the flat being caught in a bucket. Or was that multiple drips? The windows rattled and Cap thought Alison was kidding about the duct tape, but there it was. When they had arrived Mike had said he’d offer them a drink but they had the washing machine plugged into the only mains socket which worked in the kitchen.

“Has Mary text you yet?” Alison asked.

“No.” Cap said, glancing at his phone. Mary was being the lookout down stairs (“Sit on the wall under the shelter, he always tells people to get off there, so that’s how you can tell it’s him.” Alison had said to her). Cap was here just in case things got out of hand and they needed his hands to solve them. Specifically his fists.

The seconds continued to tick by and the couple continued to walk up and down.

“Look, the floor is going to collapse soon, but it’ll go even faster if you two keep marching up and down it.” Julian huffed.

Alison shot Julian a look for a split second before deciding against it and started to glare at the wall instead.

Cap’s phone suddenly buzzed and he glanced at it to see a text from Mary.

‘He’s on his way up ’

“He’s coming up.” Cap announced, sending Mary a thumbs up back.

“Ahh,” Alison cried, wheeling back around to Julian. “You know what you’vegot to say, don’t you.”

“Yes, of course I do. I know what I’m telling him to do.” Julian said.

“And you know how to get it from him?” Alison quizzed him.

“Yes, yes.” Julian waved his hand at her and moved off the wall, straightening his jacket. “I knew what I could say as soon as I heard who it was.”

“Can we know what it is?” Mike asked.

“No.” Julian said sharply.

There was a sudden knock on the door.

“Alright, here we go.” Alison sighed. She and Mike walked to the door and opened it up, spending a few moments struggling with the door handle. “Hi Barclay.” Cap heard Alison say through gritted teeth.

“Hello Annabel.” Came a man’s voice. That must be Barclay.

“Alison.” Alison corrected, though Barclay didn’t seem to pay any attention as he barged into the flat.

“Ah, how are you doing,” Barclay said to Mike, extending his hand. “Everything is good, I take it.”

Cap watched Mike take Barclay’s hand and shake it. “No, not really.” Mike muttered, frowning at the handshake.

“Well we all have down days,” Barclay said. “What you need is a bottle of Screaming Eagle Sauvignon Blanc and relax. I’ve got a bottle I can sell you. Why don’t you come play some poker and we can discuss purchase-”

“I don’t think they need a £5,000 bottle of wine.” Julian sighed. “What they need is some repairs to their flat.”

Barclay jumped as he suddenly saw Julian there.

“Oh hello, Julian.” Barclay said. “What are you doing here?”

Julian shrugged. “I’ve been asked to be here.” He said coldly. “Now come on, let’s go and see what’s what.”

Barclay seemed to glare at him before nodding and smiling. “Lead the way.”

“Right,” Alison said. “We’ll start in here.”

Cap trailed after them as Alison showed everything single thing which was wrong with the flat.

So, after Alison had shown them every single thing in the flat, Barclay clapped his hands.

“Well, once I get back to the office I’ll note everything down and see what we can do.”

“You say that every time.” Alison snapped.

“Yes, perhaps we should discuss that.” Julian said.

Barclay turned to glance at him. “Do your parents know you’re here?”

Julian shrugged. “Who knows, judging by how much the bug places, probably.”

“We haven’t been bugged, have we?” Mike asked.

“Of course not.” Julian laughed. “This is a poor house. They’d never come in here.”

“Hey.” Alison cried and Julian just shrugged.

“But,” Julian continued, turning back to Barclay. “I think you can do better than ‘seeing what you can do’.” He snapped his fingers and grinned. “How do you pay rent, Alison?”

“Hmm? Oh, bank transfer.” Alison said.

“Ah, bank transfer, eh?”

“Yes, and what about it?” Barclay asked.

“Well,” Julian said. “What bank account do they use?”

Barclay frowned. “What do you mean?”

“What bank account? Is it your current account or is it your Fiji account?” Julian asked again.

Barclay froze for a few seconds before scowling. “You can’t ask that, that’s private.”

“But I’m sure people would like to know how best to get you.” Julian said, smirking.

“That’s bla-” Barclay tried but Julian cut him off.

“Oh no, it’s not blackmail.” Julian said, chuckling slightly. “Now, blackmail would be if I told you that my parents have microphones dotted all over their home and when you were at a party there a couple of years you blabbed all about how you got drunk and crashed your car and then put your drunk wife in the driver's seat to avoid getting arrested. And that I went and saved that audio recording and put it away in a secret place for safekeeping. Now that would be blackmail. This is just me asking you if you’re using your current account or your Fiji account to take their rent.”

Barclay scowled again, before finally: “fine, workmen will be with you tomorrow morning.”

“Ah, great.” Mike said.

“We will definitely be in.” Alison said. “So you don’t have to worry about getting in.”

“Yeah, we’re not going anyway.” Mike said.

Barclay grunted. “I’ll let myself out.” He rumbled, shooting another look at Julian before hurrying out the flat.

Alison stared at the creaking front door for a few moments before breaking into a grin. “Hah, we did it!” She and Mike high-fived. “Great work, Julian.”

“Yeah, thanks for that, Julian.” Mike said.

“Oh it was nothing.” Julian said, grinning. “I know what I’m doing there, I can talk people into doing whatever I want.”

Cap rolled his eyes. “Well, I’m glad you got that sorted. And I’m very glad I wasn’t needed at all.”

“Yeah, real glad you weren’t needed.” Mike said.

“The house is already in a bad state, getting blood everywhere would be even worse.” Alison said. “But, ah- thanks, we’re going to get stuff fixed! Actually fixed.”

“I fixed the shower didn’t I?” Mike said, laughing.

“Well, it’s back on the wall, but it still doesn’t really work.” Alison said.

“Hey!”

Cap rolled his eyes again and settled next to Julian. “You did good with them.” He told him.

“How could I leave them like that.” Julian said, nodding his head. “What sort of a person do you take me for?”

Cap hummed. “I’m sure Robin will be proud of you.”

“You think?” Julian asked quickly, his eyes going wide, a quiet smile spreading across his face.

“Yes, Julian, I’m sure.” Cap muttered.

Cap’s phone buzzed and he glanced at it to see another text from Mary.

‘He’s left. He seemed angry ’.

And then:

‘Can you take me home now, the wall is uncomfortable ’.

“Alison, Mike.” Cap said, slipping his phone away. “We’re going to go, Mary’s wanting to go home.”

Both Mike and Alison nodded and waved as the pair left their flat.

As they were walking down the stairs, Julian crossed his arms.

“He’d better not tell my parents he saw me.” He grumbled. “Don’t want them remembering me or anything.”

“I told you not to worry.” Cap said. “If they do crawl out of the woodwork, I’ll be there with you every step of the way.”

Julian grinned. “Thanks, Cap.”

They left the building and Mary waved at them.

“Did you do it?” She asked.

“Of course I did.” Julian spluttered. “I can’t believe you’d even ask that. I’m too good not to.”

Both Cap and Mary sighed.

“Well, Barclay promised to send workmen tomorrow, so I guess we’ll have to see.” Cap said.

“And if he doesn’t send anything,” Julian said, returning to cleaning his nails. “I can just send him some money to his Fiji account. Oh!” He looked up from his nails and over to Cap. “Would you be able to lend me some money so I could do that.”

Ah. There it was. 

312.

Chapter Text

Cap arrived at Pat’s, parking up next to Thomas, who seemed to be writing something down frantically in his car. Cap stared at him in his rear view mirror, weighing up whether he could be bothered to go and see what he was writing. Eventually, Cap decided he could in fact, be bothered. He got out of his car, Pat’s present tucked under his arm, and made his way across to Thomas.

Cap knocked on Thomas’ window, feeling slightly bad as he jumped at the sudden noise.

Thomas rolled down the window and glared at Cap. “What?”

“What are you doing?” Cap asked.

“Pat’s present.” Thomas said. “I’m still not happy with it. I’ve been editing it for the past two weeks but it’s not good enough.”

“I’m sure he’ll love it.” Cap said. A lie. Pat would appreciate it, but not love it.

Thomas sighed and threw his pen down. “I guess I’ve ran out of time. Perhaps I can ad-lib when I read it out.”

“Read it out?” Cap repeated.

“Yes, of course.” Thomas said. “I can’t just make a poem and not read it out.”

Cap hummed. He could.

“Ah, I’m sure I’ll do it when I read it out.” Thomas wound up the window and opened the car door.

“Hi you two!” Came Kitty’s voice as she, Alison and Mike came wandering up the path. “I love birthday parties, I’m so excited for this. Aren’t you guys?”

“Yeah, I’m excited.” Mike said. “Haven’t been to an actual birthday party in years.”

“We went to your cousin’s party last month.” Alison said.

“She was 1.”

“You had fun.”

Mike paused before laughing. “Yeah, I had fun.”

“Ooh, we’re going to have so much fun.” Kitty beamed.

They continued down the path, reaching outside of Pat’s house where they met Adam, Mary, Alex and Fanny.

“Hi, Adam.” Cap murmured, reaching over to kiss Adam, who laughed slightly and kissed him back.

There was a sudden bang and Cap and Adam sprang apart and everyone span around to see Humphrey hopping on one foot, a bin seemingly having been kicked across the path.

“Ow, ow, ow- hi guys- ow- ow ow!”

Cap rolled his eyes and went to knock on the door. A minute or so later there was some scrabbling behind the door and it opened. And Cap found that he had to drop his gaze a few feet.

“You must be Daley.” Cap said as he saw a young kid standing in the doorframe.

Daley nodded and turned to run back into the house. He quickly returned, pulling Pat by the hand to the door.

“Oh, hi guys!” Pat said brightly. “Glad you’ve all made it. You’ve met Daley? Come on through.” Pat and Daley stepped out the house and led everyone down the passageway to the back garden which Pat had setup with garden tables and chairs.

“Happy birthday, Pat.” Kitty squealed. “You’re going to love my present.”

“I’m sure I will, Kitty.” Pat said, smiling.

Once everyone had wished him a happy birthday, Pat beamed.

“I’m just setting some food up and I’m going to be inside so I can hear whenever any of Daley’s friends arrive but feel free to mull around.” Pat said. “Daley do you want to come back inside?” Daley nodded and clutched Pat’s hand as they went back inside the house.

Cap dropped Pat’s present on a table along with everyone else before he collapsed in chair, his knees cracking as he did so. Adam sat down next to him and took his hand. They group dissolved into quiet chattering until Julian suddenly came bursting into 

“Okay, I’m here now.” He said, loud and obnoxious. “We can start my birthday party now.”

Everyone hummed before returning to chattering with themselves.

“Hmm, fine,” Julian muttered, crossing his arms. “I suppose we have to wait for everyone else to arrive before we can start my party. Pat needs to come out and I’m sure Robin will arrive soon.” He took a set next to Cap and grinned at him. “It’s my birthday.”

“I know.” Cap sighed. Julian hadn’t stopped talking about it for the past week. It was almost a relief from him talking about Margot (Cap enjoyed hearing what Margot was doing in London, just not the things that Julian wanted to talk about).

“Are you going to wish me ‘happy birthday’?” Julian asked.

Cap glared at him but opened his mouth- before Pat came back into the garden, a small horde of children following Daley.

“Right, who wants to help me put the food out?” Pat asked. The children chorused ‘no’ and ran off.

“I will.” Mary said, and she and Alex entered the house with Pat, bringing back several plates of food, popping them all on the table.

“Can you open the presents now?” Kitty asked, vibing excitedly.

“Sure.” Pat laughed. He sat down and started to open them, Kitty giggling as he opened hers (a fancy camera with several packs of Hello Kitty stickers). Cap had bought him a flying jacket which he then spent a couple of hours stitching patches on until it was a replica of Maverick’s jacket from Top Gun.

“Am I getting my present’s next?” Julian asked loudly.

“Hush, Julian.” Fanny grumbled, stepping by him. “Pat is opening his right now.”

Fortunately they were saved from Thomas reading his poem out ("That's very nice, Thomas," Pat said. "I'll have to read it fully later.") By Daley running up to Pat and tugging on his sleeve.

“I want dinnertime.” Daley said.

“Alright, let’s get you and your friends some food picked out.” Pat said, leading Daley to the table and started distributing food to Daley and the other kids. “You guys take whatever you want.” He called back to the adults.

Everyone bustled around and Julian gawped. “Hey, guys, me. What about me?”

Everyone proceeded to ignore him and dived into the food.

Cap eventually found himself sat at the small table with Alison, watching Pat throwing a ball between Daley and the other kids. He was planning on sitting with Julian, but Alison had wanted to ask him something and his attention was quickly diverted. It had been a couple of hours since they had first arrived and the majority of the food had gone. Pat had cut open his cake and everyone was happily tucking into their slice.

“Oh, he’s trying to leave.” Alison suddenly exclaimed, getting up and running across the garden. Cap’s eyes followed her to land on Julian trying to open the gate and leave the back garden.

“Come on, you can’t leave your own birthday party.” Alison said.

“This isn’t my birthday party.” Julian spluttered. “This is Pat’s. You’ve all been ignoring me.” He folded his arms and looked up into the sky. “I know why Margot isn’t here, I guess her train’s been delayed, but Robin hasn’t even bothered.”

“You don’t know that.” Alison said, pulling at his arm to make him come back into the garden. “He might turn up soon.”

“He won’t.” Julian grunted, allowing to be pulled back in. “I’ve called him and text him but no answer.”

“Well, sit down, eat some cake and maybe he will.” Alison said, shoving Julian into a seat. She gave Cap a grin and thumbs up as she passed. Julian however, looked rather dejected, sat alone at the end of the bench, head hanging down to stare at the empty tabletop. He was without any of the spark or pizzazz he usually carried, it instead replaced with a melancholy fit for Thomas not Julian. His shoulders were slumped over and eyes were glazed over and shining with a slight wetness which threatened to break. It was enough for Cap to feel slightly bad for him, to be honest. That was immediately thrown to the side as a young child came shooting by him holding a heavy looking bat.

“No, put that down!” Cap shouted, hurrying after her.

Cap managed to get the bat from the child and handed it to Pat, who was frowning somewhat.

“Ahh, thanks, Cap.” Pat gasped, looking exhausted from running around with the kids. He panted before eventually swallowing and nodding stiffly, the same frown appearing back on his face.

“What’s wrong, Patrick?” Cap asked.

Pat grunted as he put the bat away. “Carol wants to pick Daley up early. She didn’t tell me why, of course, but I can guess.”

Cap hummed and looked over to where Daley was running about with his friends.

“He’s meant to stay with me tonight.” Pat snapped suddenly. “That’s what we agreed, but no. I swear it’s Morris doing this to spite me.”

“They shouldn’t be doing that.” Cap grumbled. He sighed. “Go and have some fun with Daley at least.”

“Yeah, I think I will.” Pat said, chirping up and clapping hands. “Hey, Daley, do you need another person on your side?” He called over to the kids. Daley nodded his head but then stopped.

“But we need another.” He said. “So it’s the same.”

“Another?” Pat said, turning to grin at Cap.

“Patrick, I am not playing football with a bunch of 5 year olds.”

Cap was playing football with a bunch of 5 year olds.

Cap was LOSING football to a bunch of 5 year olds.

Adam was standing next to Mary and Alex and the three of them were laughing at him. He turned to scowl and the three suddenly became very interested in a sausage roll which was lying on the table.

Eventually Cap and his side lost, his squad dispersed and Pat and Daley were high fiving.

“Did you enjoy that, Daley?” Pat asked, his eyes shining. Daley nodded. “Do you want a sandwich?” Daley nodded again. “Come on then.” Pat took Daley’s hand and led him over to the table to pick up a sandwich.

Cap slumped back into a chair and Adam laughed. “Did you have fun?” He asked.

“Children are exhausting.” Cap sighed.

Adam laughed again and handed him a juice box.

The day continued and Pat managed to rope Cap into several more children’s games before the parents started to appear to pick them up.

Soon the only child left was Daley, who was happily sat in Pat’s lap playing a video game on Pat’s phone. Cap suspected it wasn’t Snake.

It was as Cap was listening to Mary recall a story from her farm did Julian come up and tug on his sleeve. Cap turned his head slightly to indicate he was listening.

“What if something’s happened.” Julian hissed, a sound of worry in his voice. “What if he’s hurt?”

“Julian, he’s not hurt.” Cap said. “Don’t worry, he’s fine.”

“But he has-hasn’t messaged me or called me back.” Julian really sounded like he was panicking now. Cap turned to face Julian fully only to see he was gripping his phone tight, a frantic look on his face. “What if he got into a car crash? Or- or- or-”

“He’s not been in a car crash.” Cap said firmly. “Look-” He pulled out his own phone and checked the local news website. “See.” He said, showing it to Julian and scrolling down. “There’s no report of a car crash anywhere in the city. He’s fine, stop worrying.”

“I have to worry otherwise it just means he’s forgotten my birthday.” Julian’s voice was weak, it was wobbly. He was going to break down crying any moment now.

Cap sighed and reached a hand out to place it on Julian’s shoulder. “I’m sure he’s okay and I’m sure he’s not forgotten. Trust me, he’s going to be here.”

“You can’t know that for sure.” Julian said quietly. “And anyway, everyone else here seemed to have forgotten my birthday, so what’s one more.”

Cap frowned and glanced up at the sky before back to Julian’s heart torn face. Ah, who needs surprises. “Look, Julian, we haven’t forgotten your birthday,” Cap said. “And Robin, he-”

“Did you not hear me knocking?” Came a sudden shill voice through the garden.

“No, I did not.” Pat grunted through gritted teeth as Daley clambered off Pat’s knee and went running over to Carol shouting “mummy” as he did so. “I did say we were in the back garden.”

“Isn’t it a bit cold for him to be out.” Ah, Morris was also here.

“It’s 20 degrees. I don’t think it is.” Pat stood up and stalked over to them. “Daley, why don’t you go to the bathroom, get washed up and then you can pick some food to take with you.”

Daley nodded and ran off into the house. As soon as he was out of view Pat snapped back to Carol.

“Daley was supposed to stay with me tonight and be back with you tomorrow evening.” He snapped.

“Well, we decided to go out tomorrow, so he needs to be back home so we can leave.” Morris said.

“He is home.” Pat hissed. “I decided to go out tomorrow with him so he needs to be here, as we agreed. You have him next weekend.”

Everyone sat around the tables suddenly became very interested in their phones, except for Julian, who stopped being laser-focused on his phone and became very interested in the argument which was happening.

“Julian, stop gawking.” Cap hissed.

Julian half-shrugged and carried on watching them with much interest.

Cap stared out towards the back fence, trying to drown out the conversation between Pat, Carol and Morris. That was rather hard as they were getting louder and louder.

“You never take him to school.” Morris seemed to be saying. “And rarely pick him up.”

“Yeah, and who’s fault is that?” Pat cried. “Who’s fault is that I can’t do that?”

“Pat, calm down, you’re causing a scene.” Carol snapped.

Pat was quite for a moment and Cap’s eyes darted to look over to see him suddenly jab his finger forward to point at Carol.

“You were the one who came in here in the first place!” Pat shouted. “Is that why you’re taking him back? To come here and make a scene?”

“Don’t be dumb, Pat, back off.” Morris said.

“Oh, fuck off, Morris.” Pat folded his arms and squared up. “You’re just doing this to spite me, that’s all you’re doing this for.”

“Of course not. We need Daley because we’re doing something tomorrow, nothing more.” Carol said.

“Oh, ‘nothing more’?” Pat exclaimed. “Nothing to spite me? Just like whenever I came home to find you two sat together on the sofa was ‘nothing more’? Like when you two went on walks around the town was ‘nothing more’? Like you cheating on me is ‘nothing more’?”

“Pat-” Carol tried to say but Pat waved his hand and turned to face away from them. There was a flurry of movement from the others as they hurried to divert their eyes away.

“Go out onto the front, I’ll bring Daley out once he’s ready.” Pat said, before stalking off into his house.

Cap heard Carol and Morris grunting and tutting, before echoing footsteps took them back down the passageway.

“That was sufficiently awkward.” Alison muttered, shuffling in her chair.

“Hmm, quite.” Cap hummed.

The group continued to shuffle uncomfortably and soon Pat emerged, holding Daley’s hand.

“You can pick any food to take back with you.” Pat told Daley.

“We’re going out tomorrow?” Daley asked.

“Your mummy wants to go out with you tomorrow, so we can go out in a couple weekends time.” Pat said.

Daley nodded and pulled Pat to the table of food, and Pat started to pack whatever Daley pointed at into a lunchbox. Eventually the lunchbox got filled and Pat took hold of Daley’s hand again. “Come on, Mummy is waiting out front.” Pat said. “Say bye-bye to everyone.”

Daley turned and waved at everyone. “Bye.”

“Bye.” Everyone chorused and Pat took Daley down the passageway.

Julian grunted and Cap’s eyes slid back onto him. He was on his phone again, frowning.

“He hasn’t been active on any social medias all day.” Julian said. “What if he IS hurt?”

Cap sighed. “Oh, Julian-”

It was then that Pat came stomping back into the garden and entered the house.

“We’ll talk in a bit.” Cap said and got up to follow Pat, leaving Julian spluttering next to him.

Cap found Pat in the kitchen, aggressively washing some dishes.

Cap coughed and shuffled his feet, not quite knowing what to say.

“You know,” Pat said suddenly. “When I first caught them, I was shocked, horrified, I was furious. There were the two people I trusted the most in the world, and they were betraying me.” He put some plates away and turned to face Cap. “But do you know what? That might have been bad enough but then I found out they had been at it for years. Years! From before me and Carol were even married. I mean, basically at the same time as me and her originally got together.” Pat stopped and lent against the counter tops, breathing deeply.

“You know I had to get a DNA test done on Daley. Of course, Carol said he was mine but I wasn’t going to trust anything she said at that point.” He said quietly. “He did come back as mine, so that’s something, I suppose.”

“Hmm, yes, I suppose it is.” Cap muttered.

“I filed for a divorce pretty soon after and as soon as it went through, Carol and Morris married.” Pat slammed the kitchen cabinet drawer and stomped across the kitchen. “And now Morris makes it so difficult to do anything with Daley. He’s always picking him up from school, or getting his mum to, even when I’m perfectly available to pick him up. I swear he’s the reason why Carol keeps making up reasons Daley can’t stay with me on the weekend, but he’s got no right, Daley is my son, I have the paperwork and there’s nothing stopping me from seeing him. Apart from Morris.”

Cap hummed. “That most certainly is not a situation you would want to find yourself in. Surely those two can be reasonable.”

“I’ve tried being reasonable with them for 4 and a half years, but it hasn’t worked.” Pat snorted. “It just keeps going around and around.” Pat trailed off and stared into space for a good few moments. “But at least I got to see Daley today, that’s the main part, right.”

“Yes, that is something at least.”

Eventually Pat shook his head and slapped a smile back onto his face. “Okay, happy time again, let's go see how the others are doing. You know, you guys were the first time I was able to open up and start trusting people again. The first time I really had a friendly conversation in 6 months. So I’m going to try and enjoy the rest of the day the best I can.”

They trundled back out into the garden and Alison knocked on Cap’s shoulder. “I’ll go check outside,” she hissed into his ear. “They should be here by now.” Cap nodded and Alison disappeared down the passageway.

“Right, I’m going.” Julian said, suddenly appearing in front of Cap and Pat. “Thank you for inviting me on my birthday to your birthday party, Pat. But I don’t think I’ll be sticking around. I’m going to go home, sit at my table, eat my birthday cake and sing happy birthday to myself.”

Pat glared at Julian. “Well I’m sorry my dispute with my ex-wife overshadowed your birthday, but I think it did to mine too.”

Julian opened his mouth, probably to argue knowing him, but Cap jumped in before that happened.

“Actually, Julian.” Cap said, gazing over Julian’s shoulder as where Alison was hurrying back into the back garden, giving Cap a thumbs up. “I think it’s time you got your birthday present.”

“Hmpf, you guys didn’t get me anything, don’t even try and bother pulling something out which you got from the supermarket an hour ago.” Julian snapped, crossing his arms.

“It’s not.” Alison said. “It’s something from all of us.”

“Wes just needed some time to get it ready.” Mary said.

“Get it ready?” Julian raised an eyebrow. “What are you talking about?”

“We all pitched in for it. We hope you like it.” Kitty said, beaming,

“What the hell are you guys on about?”

“Go out to the front and you’ll see.” Pat said.

Julian frowned but slowly turned from them and left the garden via the passage, everyone following swiftly behind him. Cap could hear Kitty giggling and when Cap glanced back he could see even Fanny with a slight smile on her face.

They tumbled out on the front and Julian raised his arms. “What is it?”

“Go and check your car.” Pat said.

“My car?” Julian muttered, absentmindlessly patting his pocket. “What about my- MY CAR KEYS!” He turned to glare at the others. “”What have you done with my car? Where are my keys?”

“Look.” Cap snapped. “Your car is down the street. Go and see for yourself.”

Julian continued to glare before swiving on his heel. “Fine. I will.” He stalked off down the street, the others giving him a less than half a second before hurrying along behind him.

Suddenly, as the car came into view, Julian ground to a halt. As expected, Margot and Robin were sat on the hood of the car. They stopped talking as Julian approached and turned to smile at him.

“Happy birthday, Julian.” The pair said in unison.

“Margot!” Julian cried. “You’re back!” He all but leapt forward, dragging Margot from the hood of the car and into a tight hug. “You’re back. I missed you so much. How was uni? I missed you- or- how was London? I’m so glad you’re back. I missed you so much.”

“I had to get back for your birthday, didn’t I.” Margot said, a squeak to her voice indicating Julian was hugging her far too tight. “Happy birthday, Julian.”

“I didn’t think you’d be back in time,” Julian said in a muffled voice. “And then Robin when AWOL-”

“Someone had pick Margot up and get your present done.” Robin said.

Julian hummed but then raised his head from Margot’s hair to look at the others, his arms still ensnaring Margot and pressing her tight against his side. “Hang on, I thought you guys said you put money towards my present. How much did it cost to bring Margot up here?”

“Wells we wanted a big cake for hers to jump out of.” Mary said.

“But Cap wouldn’t allow it.” Thomas added.

Julian squawked at Cap but Cap coughed and shook his head.

“Look at the car, Julian.” He said.

Julian cocked his head and turned to face the car, dragging Margot along with him. He looked and cocked his head again. “I can’t see anything up with- THE ROOF!”

"If you’re not going to get a new car, then we’re going to stop you complaining about it.” Alison said.

Julian trembled and reached a hand out to caress it. Then he turned back to the others- oh good God. Was that tears in his eyes.

“The roof.” He choked out, his hand never leaving it. “How did you-?”

“It’s very simply see.” Cap said, putting his hands behind his back. “Your keys were quite easy to procure and all we had to do was hand them to Robin-”

“Which I did when you first arrived here.” Fanny said. “You should keep them in a safer place, you know, anyone can just come and pick them out.”

“Obviously no one could drive it to the garage so we had to get the garage to come to us.” Alison said.

“That was the expensive part.” Fanny said.

“So wes all needed to put together.” Mary added.

“Though there’s also some stuff in there for you to open too, though.” Mike said.

“Garage came, picked it up, took it to their garage and fixed the roof. Brought it back here when they were done.” Robin finished, “I picked up Margot once they brought it back safe.”

“We hope you like it.” Kitty said. “It still goes up and down.”

“We know how much the car means to you.” Pat said. Yes, it does mean a lot to Julian, but not even Cap really knew why. “So we figured we might as well get it fixed for you.”

“I… Thanks… This means a lot to me.” Julian gasped. He suddenly let go of the car and Margot and launched himself at Cap, wrapping him in the tight hug.

“Yes, yes, you’re welcome, happy birthday.” Cap choked, Julian’s grip very tight. “Now let go of me.”

Julian released Cap and grinned wildly. “Everyone line up, I’m hugging you all.”

Everyone groaned.

“Well, I suppose it is your birthday.” Pat said, opening his arms for Julian to crush him in a hug.

Eventually Julian got through everyone and turned back to Margot, pulling her back into another hug and kissing her repeatedly.

“Get off.” Margot said, pushing him off her, though she was smiling somewhat.

“Oh, open the presents.” Kitty said, clapping her hands together. “Robin should have put them in the car.”

“Yeah, they are.” Robin grunted, still sat on the hood of the car.

Julian beamed and opened the car, immediately banging his head on the roof as he tried to get in. Once he got Margot to rub it better he reached through the car and pulled out a big bag.

“Open mine first.” Kitty said excitedly. “It’s the pink one.” She giggled and twirled her dress.

Julian dug through the bag and pulled out a pink package. He passed the back to Margot and opened the package. She had gotten him a video camera (a shiny pink one of course). Oh, God, Cap could already imagine what Julian would be recording with that (and where did Kitty get that and the camera she got for Pat? Cap hoped it was somewhere cheap he’d also be able to get one, but he had a feeling she had some kind of YouTube sponsor going on).

Julian went through opening the rest of them, quite a few of them had brought him alcohol it seems. Margot had bought him some fancy trainers and a sleek jacket, both of which she had picked up in London (“just a couple of gifts I have in store for you.” She had said in, unfortunately, a voice loud enough for Cap to hear). Cap had bought him some rather fancy hair products, a new plant pot (along with seeds for a plant Cap really hoped Julian didn’t already have) and a booking confirmation for one night at a nice hotel on the coast in a couple of months time. Cap supposed Julian could do with a night away with Margot somewhere.

“My turn.” Robin said, finally bouncing off the hood of the car. “Here.” He said, handing Julian a small box.

Julian blinked and unwrapped it. Then he whined. “Robin.” Cap peered around Julian to see that the box contained a shining gold ring.

Robin shrugged. “You told me about your family ring they wouldn’t give you. So hope this is a good replacement.”

Julian nodded, his eyes seemingly star struck. He took the ring from the box and slid it onto his pinkie. “It fits great, thank you.” He spread his arms and Robin slid into them.

“Happy birthday.” Robin said, that same hugged-to-tight squeak in his voice. When Julian let go of him slightly and Robin stretched up on his tippy toes to kiss Julian on his cheek. Cap saw Julian freeze and his face burst into a flush, his fingers clawing up in Robin’s jacket.

“So, now that that is all taken care of, I think I’ll call it a day.” Fanny said.

“Yeah, I should really start tidying up.” Pat said.

“I’ll stay and help you.” Cap said. “Keep you company for a bit longer.”

Pat looked like he was going to decline the offer but then nodded, a soft smile on his face. “That would be great, thanks.”

“Would you like to, too?” Cap asked Adam, who nodded and took Cap’s hand again.

“I’d love to.”

Everyone eventually wandered back to Pat’s garden, collected their things and disappeared back into their cars, Pat waving at them.

“Really sorry I disappeared.” Robin was telling Julian when Cap finally turned back to them. “Didn’t really have chance to send you a message. Busy driving a lot, to the garage, the shops, the train station, all over the place. Been very busy. But, surprise! Also got you and Margot food for tonight, so enjoy.”

“Hmm, alright, I’ll let you off.” Julian said, his arm wrapped around Margot. “But you, specifically, Robin, owe me a party.”

“I can do you take-away pizza and a bottle of wine for us three one night?”

Julian snapped his fingers, a grin on his face. “That’s spot on.”

“I think overall this was a good birthday for the two of us.” Pat said. “Minus the little… incident earlier.”

“Yeah, it was alright.” Julian said, stroking the roof of his car. He then shook his head. “But we should head off. Margot you must be exhausted.”

“Quite.” Margot said, a slight smirk on her face. “But I think I should be able to stay awake long enough to give you some more birthday presents .”

Julian seemed to jump and grin. Cap rolled his eyes whilst Adam sighed, Pat folded his arms and coughed slightly and Robin snickered.

“Oh- I- oka- r-right.” Julian stammered before turning to look between Cap and Pat. “Err, thanks for the birthday, love the car roof. I’ll see you three later.” He was half clambered into the car before stopping. “Four! I mean four. I’ll see you four later.” He nodded towards Robin, that blush back on his face, a thousand-yard stare in his eyes.

Margot waved and got into the other side of the car. Cap, Adam, Pat and Robin then proceeded to watch as Julian didn’t drive off, but instead he was looking up at the ceiling, his hands running up and down it. Margot stared at him and seemed to suddenly bark his name. Julian jumped and started his car and finally drove off.

It was then Robin doubled over and gasped. “Haven’t stopped running around all day. I’m starving.” He straightened up and cocked his head. “You got any of that food left over?”

Chapter Text

“Hello.” Came a quiet voice.

Cap straightened up from where he was packing away the projector. “Hello?”

“Hello.” That quiet voice came again. They sounded young.

Cap turned around to see someone quickly disappear behind the door frame.

“No need to be nervous.” Cap said. “Come in.”

Slowly the person came out from behind the frame. She was a young girl, couldn’t be older than 14, with long brown hair and a mismatch of clothes which looked to have been repeatedly sown up. Cap wondered how she got past the staff to get into the bar late at night.

“Is this the LGBT meeting?” She asked.

“Yes, that’s right.” Cap said. “We’ve finished for the night, everyone else has gone home. I’m just packing up. I’m the Captain by the way.”

“Jemima.” The girl said. “So I missed it?”

“This one, yes, but we’ll have another one very soon. Or perhaps we can see about finding you a youths meeting, people of a similar age to you.”

“There isn’t one here.” Jemima said. “The only one is a half an hour drive but there’s no buses there.”

“Do you have anyone who can drive you?”

Jemima shook her head. “I’d like to come to the next one.” She then said..

Cap nodded and smiled softly. “We’re online so if you look us up it’ll list what we have next.”

“I’m not really allowed.”

Ah.

Cap hummed and thought for a moment.

…

Hey, that was a good idea.

“Well, I do know that my friend, Pat, leads a scouting troop and he and the kids are going to be at East Park this Saturday morning. He’s part of this group and the kids are about your age. Me and a few others will also be around on a walk during then. How’s that?” Cap asked. “You could easily find out about them online- they have fliers in the libraries around town. I know Pat recently put new fliers out for their events for the next month.” Cap knew this because he had helped Pat put them out. Oh.

“Oh, hang on.” Cap said. He reached into his bag and rummaged around. “I think I still have one in here. Aha.” He pulled a scouts flier out. It was quite bent and dog eared from being sat in the bottom of his bag for a couple of weeks but it was still easily readable. “That gives you all the information on the scouts and what their upcoming events are.”

Jemima blinked and took the flier. “East Park this Saturday?”. Then she nodded. “I can do that. I can be there.”

“Excellent.” Cap folded his arms behind his back and nodded curtly. “We met at 9am by the front gates. My friend, Pat, is teaching archery. I'm sure he’ll be more than happy to have you around.”

Jemima nodded again before turning and scurrying off. Cap reckoned she’d be able to get past the staff again alright.

Saturday came by quick and Cap had carefully picked who to bring along. Obviously Pat was going to be there regardless, Adam of course was coming with, but Cap had picked Alex, Kitty and Thomas out of the others. He had also asked Alison and Mike, Mary, Robin and Margot too but they were all working. He didn’t bother asking Fanny and Julian. He reckoned they were free to come but he just didn’t think they would be suitable for a relaxed atmosphere.

This was also the first time Alex was coming to an event without Mary, and Cap was determined they’d have a good time.

Currently they were being shown camera settings by Kitty.

“-And this is if I want a dark mood, not that I want to a lot, and this is how to focus, and this is the sound settings, I keep it on this setting when I’m in my flat but when I’m out and about like now I keep it on this so the background noises like wind are kept out- Oh, do you want to be filmed? Thomas! Hold and film for us, pretty please.” Kitty passed Thomas the camera who automatically took the stance of a cameraman who has begrudgingly done this 1000 times and will begrudgingly do it 1000 more times. Alex had nodded but now they had a frozen grin on their face showing their nerves at the camera.

“Hi everyone! Kitty here! I hope you’ve had a great day and I hope I’m going to make it better.” Kitty said cheerfully once Thomas nodded that the camera was rolling. “I’m here at East Park with my friends. Isn’t that exciting?” She turned to Alex, a large bean on her face. “This is Alex, one of my friends.”

“H-hi.” Alex stuttered out, their face completely red and their hand trembling as they waved.

“Do you want to tell people about yourself?” Kitty asked.

Alex made a noise of someone who really didn’t want to but they powered through nonetheless.

“I’m- I’m Alex. I like making art.”

“Oh, what kind of art?” Kitty asked, her eyes shining.

“U-usually painting, I do a lot of digital painting. But I-I like other crafts too. I like needle felting and Mary got me into knitting.” Alex said.

“Knitting anything good?” Thomas asked suddenly.

“Yes, knitting anything in particular?” Kitty asked too.

“Oh- I- er, I’m just knitting a scarf, at the moment, to practice getting into it.” Alex said. “It’s going to be- er- red and- and black.”

“Oh that’s so neat. You must show us one day.” Kitty said.

“Yes, yes,” Cap said as he spotted Jemima coming towards them. “Now can you put the camera away.”

Kitty nodded and Thomas dropped the camera.

“Hello.” Jemima said quietly as she arrived before them. “Is this the LGBT meetup? You’re who I talked to?”

“Yes it is.” Cap said. “And I am. Pat will have set up on one of the main fields. I had thought you might have tried to find them before us.”

“I want to join the LGBT meetup though, not really the scouts.” Jemima said.

“Well it can’t hurt to find them. See what you think.” Kitty said.

“I suppose.” Jemima muttered.

It didn’t take them too long to find the scouts. They had taken over a large section of field and the children were all quite loud. There was some younger kids and some who Cap presumed must have been 14 or so.

“Right.” Pat had to shout for them all to hear him. They suddenly went quiet and lined up side-by-side. “Today we’re going to learn about ✨archery✨ .” He picked up a bow and a quiver full of arrows. “Here’s lads, pass them around and have a feel for them.” He handed the bow to one end and the quiver to the other.

“Now in archery, you have your bow, your arrows, which you keep in your quiver, and you fire at the boss, which is the target.” Pat explained. “I’ve already assembled the bow but once we’re done with this I’ll show you how to disassemble and reassemble one. I’ll also need you to all lineup so I can see what hand is your firing arm and also what length arrows you should have.

“But before all that I need to go through some safety points with you. The first is very important, you don’t ever point a bow and arrow at some-“ Pat cut off as an arrow went flying by the side of his head, embedding itself into the tree behind him.

“Keith” Pat suddenly shouted, before “be careful, man. I said to not ever point a bow and arrow at someone and definitely don’t shoot, that could have gone clean through me.”

“Sorry Skip.” Keith cried and hurriedly handed the bow and arrow off in different directions.

The group watched as Pat continued his speech before taking the bow back and showing them how to dismantle it and put it back together.

Then he lined them all up and got them to make their hands into a triangle and bring it to their eye. Then he directed them to either a left-handed bow or a right-handed bow. They all set to work assembling their own bows. Pat then walked over to them and waved.

“Hi guys,” he said. “You must be Jemima.” He said lowering himself down slightly. “Cap told me about you, would you like to come and hang with my scouts?”

Jemima frowned. “I wanted to join the LGBT club.”

“Well we’re very open to LGBT discussions, it’s like a club all on its own. Plus you’ll get to discuss it with kids your own age which will be much more helpful for you.” Pat said brightly. “Come on,” he waved his hand to try and get her to follow him, “you can watch the Scouts do some archery whilst you think of it.”

Jemima hummed but slowly followed Pat over to the scouts who had all seemed to have successfully assembled their bows.

“Right guys,” Pat said. “Now I’ve got to find out what arrow length you all need.” Again, they all lined up and stretched their arm out and Pat measured between their nose to their hand, before selecting the correct length arrows. Jemimah stood rather awkwardly on the sidelines as she watched. Then as Pat started to show the kids the correct stance they should take, Kitty gasped.

“Alex, have you ever done archery?” She asked.

“Oh- I- er- no, I’ve never done it before.” Alex said, stuttering as the sudden question. “I’ve never really thought of doing it before.”

“Me and Mary have done it before, she is quite good, you should ask her to take you one day, that will be a lot of fun.” Kitty said brightly.

“You know, I think I shall, that does sound like it’ll be fun.” Alex said, crossing their arms and grinning.

Soon the kids were firing away, Pat had gotten well out of their range before he let them loose. 

“What do you reckon to Jemima?” Cap asked him. “Do you think she’ll consider applying to join?”

Pat shrugged. “I don’t know, but it’ll be a lot better for her to be with kids her own age rather than us adults. They can all learn from each other then.”

“I believe so too.” Cap said, as a sudden movement caught his eye.

One of the kids, with black, windswept hair, came darting out of the group and over to Jemima, giving her an enthusiastic wave as he did so.

Pat followed Cap’s eyes to them. “That’s Lew, he’s a great kid. He’ll probably be able to get her to tag along if no one else will. He’s got a little group I bet Jemima will fit in with easily. There’s Bailey, and Beth and her cousin Harvey.”

Lew began talking to Jemima, clapping his hands together and plastering a large smile on his face. Jemima responded and whilst they were too far away to hear, Cap was pretty sure it was a rather positive conversation.

Cap and the others took a seat as Pat went around each of the kids, correcting their stances and giving them words of encouragement. Jemima was now in a gaggle of four children. There was Lew and who Cap assumed to be his friends. One kid had dark curly hair and was nodding along to whatever Lew was talking about, chewing away on a leaf necklace. The two others looked rather similar to each other, with a similar shade of red hair and making almost the exact same body movements. Cap assumed they were the cousins Pat had mentioned. The little group were chatting animatedly, so much that Pat went over to them, probably to tell them to focus on some archery, before stopping and moving away. Probably thought it better to not break up Jemima’s time with them.

Eventually, the archery time was up. Kitty, Thomas and Alex were down by the lake. From the looks of it, Kitty was trying to interview a duck.

Cap watched as Pat instructed the kids how to pack up, and he heard Kitty say “Madam Quackerton, are the allegations about you and Mr Duckings true?-  Madam Quackerton, don’t go swimming away from the truth. Oh, come back-” Cap glanced over to them to see Kitty prancing along the lakeside, a duck swimming alongside her as Thomas hurried after the two of them with the camera. Alex was trailing along behind them. Hmm, perhaps a look around the mini zoo after will be fun.

“Jemima, want to come back with us an’ play games?” Cap heard Lew ask.

“Er, yes, sure.” Jemima said.

“We’ve got some great games goin’ on.” One of the other kids said.

“We’ve got a dragon fight goin’ on. A pirate-treasure hunting mission. A trek through the jungle filled with dangerous animals. You can decide.” Who must have been Bailey said Cap assumed due to the lack of shared hair colour the cousins shared.

“Well,” Jemima said quietly. “A treasure hunt would be nice.”

“The hunt continues.” Lew said triumphantly. “Get your peg legs and eye patches ready.”

“Right, has everyone packed away?” Pat asked, clapping his hands.

“Yes, skipper.” The kids said in union.

“Great. Everyone who has pick-up, come with me to the front gates and we’ll wait for your pick-ups, you others, enjoy the park and have a safe journey home.” Pat said. “No Henry, you have pick-up, come on, join everyone else.”

The party all broke up, all of the younger kids trailing after Pat. A couple of the older ones too. Pat waved at Cap as they passed and guided the children over the bridge and out of view. The remaining kids mulled around for a few minutes before drifting off in separate directions. Jemima and her new friends (Cap hoped) went walking towards Cap.

“We’ve been sailin’ the seas due west for 2 weeks now.” Lew said. “We’ve recently seen land but we’re gonna have to scope the island out to see if it’s the right one.”

“We’ll see if it all matches the map.” The red-haired girl who Cap assumed was Beth said. “Bailey made it.”

“Yeap.” Bailey said, looking proud. “It’s pretty good.”

“It’s great!” The red-haired boy Cap assumed must be Harvey said, throwing his arms out.

Bailey grinned as Lew continued.

“We’ve all got a role on the ship.” Lew said. “I’m the captain. Harvey’s the cook-”

“An’ doctor.” Harvey said.

“Yes, Harv’s also the doctor.” Lew continued.

“An’ technically a carpenter too.” Beth aid.

“Harv’s a busy pirate.” Bailey said.

“Beth is the steerer” Lew continued. “An’ Bailey is the quartermaster. I’m the captain.”

“What position would you like?” Beth asked.

“Uh, oh, I don’t know. What is there?” Jemima asked.

“Hmm, uh-” Beth said. “You know, I don’t know.”

“I’ll check Pirateology.” Bailey said. “See what else they say.”

“What about the boatswain?” Cap said as the little group walked past him. “They were in charge of all supplies and dropping the anchor and such.”

“Hello, Captain.” Jemima said as her new friends stopped.

“Are you having fun?” Cap asked.

Jemima nodded. “Yes, they’re nice. Thank you.”

“I’m happy to help.” Cap said. “And if you ever need me again, just ask Pat for me.”

Jemima nodded and Lew snapped his fingers. “Boatswain. That’ll be a good one. C’mon you scurvy seadogs. We’ve be got treasure to find.”

“Aye Aye, Captain.” The three other kids said in union. Jemima nodded and waved goodbye to Cap as the group went walking off.

“Cap!” Kitty’s voice came suddenly and loudly. “Cap! Madam Quackerton hissed at us, oh, she must have been offended by something I said about Mr Duckings.”

“Hissed? It came charging at us.” Thomas exclaimed, “it almost got one of my arms.”

“You should have seen your faces.” Alex said, wiping away tears of laughter. “It just came waddling at you, not charging, Thomas.”

“Well, it was quite angry.” Thomas muttered.

“Next time I shan’t mention Mr Duckings.” Kitty said, “I’ll try asking her about her pretty feathers instead, that shouldn’t make her angry.”

“I’m not getting up close to that duck again.” Thomas said.

“But she needs her close up.”

“Wouldn’t a zoom work?” Alex asked.

“Zoom doesn’t give it the same personal effect though.” Thomas said. “It makes it all distant and can lead to shaking.”

“Okay, Mr Camera Man. I suppose you know best.” Alex said, barely suppressing a grin.

“Perhaps we should leave the duck interviews behind us.” Cap said. “Would anyone like to go to the zoo?”

“Yes!” Kitty cried. “I’d love to. Then I could interview a wallaby.”

“Oh spare me.” Thomas sighed.

“You love it.” Kitty said.

“Yeah, you do.” Alex agreed.

Thomas was silent for a moment, staring into space before muttering, “yeah I do.”

“Excellent, that’s satisfied then. Let’s go before they close. Come on now.” Cap clapped his hands and ushered everyone off in the direction of the zoo.

“Do you think Miss Wallerby will be willing to answer my tough questions?”

Cap was sure Miss Wallerby would give in and answer to Kitty immediately.

Chapter Text

Cap pulled up by the side Margot’s flat. He was still a little early compared to when Margot told him to arrive so he turned his car off and picked his phone up.

‘:( cant beelive you can drive margot to her graduation instead of me’ Julian had text him about 15 minutes ago.

‘I can’t believe they refused to allow your holiday time.’ Cap text back.

‘someone else took a week off nearly a year ago ridiculos theres like 15 other staff besides me and them and i asked 5 months ago no way they couldnt have got someone to cover me' Julian text back.

‘Ridiculous.’ Cap text back. ‘How are you texting? ’

‘customer wanted something from the back of the store’ Julian shot back. ‘ill finish in about an hour'

Margot’s graduation started in about 2 hours and 15 minutes (2 hours and 14 minutes if we were being precise). But Margot still needed to get there at least an hour earlier so she wanted to get there an hour and a half earlier. So that was why Cap was there. To drive Margot over. She said she would have taken the bus but did not want to be late. It would only be a 15 minute drive to the city hall where it was being held. 

‘I’ll see you in a little while then.’ Cap sent back. He then pocketed his phone and got out of the car. He locked it and headed over to Margot’s flat. Reaching the building he buzzed Margot’s flat and fiddled with his cuffs. He had got dressed up for the special occasion (a white dress shirt, a sleek jacket, dark jeans and those types of shoes which were half fancy shoes and half trainers. He decided against a tie) and Julian had assured him that he would also get dressed up in the nicest clothing he owned. Cap had seen them before, they were pretty nice. He hoped those were at least the ones Julian had chosen.

There was a sharp statically crack and there was suddenly a voice at the end of the intercom. “Hello, who’s that?” That voice definitely wasn’t Margot. It must be her father’s, Margot had said he would be coming down. Oscar wasn’t it?

Cap pushed the button down again and spoke. “I’m Cap. I’m here to drive Margot to her graduation.”

“Hello, Cap. I’m Oscar, Margot’s dad. Come up.” The door buzzed and Cap opened the door, quickly reaching Margot’s door. The door opened and a tall man, several inches taller than Cap was, and who was undisputedly Margot’s dad opened the door.

“Ah, nice to meet you, finally, Cap.” Oscar said, holding his hand out to Cap. Cap took it and shook. “I’ve heard a lot about you from Margot.” He said.

He had? Cap didn’t think Margot would chat so much about him.

“Oh really?” Cap expressed. “I wouldn’t have expected too much.”

“Of course, she talks about you all the time, almost as much as her studies.” Oscar smiled and released Cap’s hand. “Come in, come in. Margot is still getting ready. I’ve been her servant for most of the day.”

“I can imagine, she must be very stressed.”

The two walked into the living room and Margot called out from her bedroom, “thanks for letting him in, dad.”

“No problem.” Oscar said to Margot before turning to Cap. “Would you like some tea, we still have about 45 minutes before Margot wants to set off?”

“No, I’m fine, thank you.” Cap said. His eyes trailed to the bin bag on the floor. “I can help you with the rubbish.” He said.

“That’s okay, most of it is just mine,” Oscar said. “You sit down.”

“No, it’s fine. You sit down. Would you like any tea?” Cap shot him a smile.

“That would be lovely, Cap.” Oscar said, settling down on the sofa as Cap pottered off to the kitchen.

As he was making the tea Margot came into the kitchen, waving her hands around, the wet gleam of nail polish on them. She was already dressed in a fancy black dress with faintly silver butterflies adorning it. The necklace Julian had got her around her neck.

“Tea, Margot?” Cap asked.

“Please.” She said, waving her hands even more. “Have you seen my bracelet, I left it over here last night.”

Cap’s eyes panned over the counter before locating it just hidden behind the bottle of dish wash. “There it is.” He picked it up and Margot held her hand out, her nails still obviously wet. Cap fiddled with the clasp and tied it onto her wrist.

“Thanks.” Margot said. “I’m going to do my hair, just… whatever with my dad.”

“I’m tidying up some of his mess.” Cap chuckled.

“Don’t let him rope you into it.”

“Oh, no. I offered.”

Margot blew her nails and nodded. “Okay, well don’t work too hard. And if you don’t want any money I will be buying you a beer first chance.”

“I look forward to that.”

Margot disappeared back into her bedroom and Cap carried on making the tea. He shouted over to Oscar how he liked his tea and finished all three. Dexterously picking all three up he brought them into the living room.

Oscar thanked him as Cap put all three down and picked up the bin bag throwing the wrappers and paper which Oscar had previously been throwing away.

“So, how long have you known Margot exactly, she never gives me the exact dates.” Oscar asked, staring intently at Cap.

“It’s coming up to a year, I believe.” Cap said. He quickly counted in his head. “11 months exactly.” He swept away the rest of the rubbish and tied the bin bag in a knot. “How was your trip down? Margot said you were travelling by train.”

“Yes, took me a few hours but it was a single train up.” Oscar said. “Margot picked me up by the most prestigious mode of the transport, the bus.”

Cap laughed and passed Oscar his tea before settling down with his own. He and Oscar chatted for a bit, with Oscar seemingly interrogating Cap about his life, however Cap answered everything with perfect, practised ease. “I’ve been driving for 10 years. I own my own flat. I’ve been at my current job for 2 years. I’ve use to be in the army but I haven’t been for quite a long time. Yes, I go to the gym frequently.” This was a rather weird line of questioning, especially considering Oscar’s rather intense manner of going about it.

Margot finally came back into the living room, her hair all done. She slumped down onto the sofa with a “pff”.

“All finished?” Cap asked, as he passed her her tea.

“Yeah.” Margot took a huge gulp. “What time is it?”

“Quarter to 9.” Cap answered.

Margot nodded and downed the rest of her tea. “Right, we might as well head off now.” She said. “I’ll just go get my shoes.” She stood back up and disappeared back into her bedroom.

Cap went to pick up the three empty mugs but Oscar waved him away and picked them up, taking all three into the kitchen to wash. Cap exhaled and took out his phone, to fiddle around with it.

‘Morning, Cap! ’ Was a text from Pat.

‘Good morning, Patrick.’ Cap text back. ‘How are you today? ’

‘I’m all refreshed and ready for a brand new day. ’ Pat text back. ‘Looking forward to this afternoon.’

‘So am I.’ Cap text. ‘All prepared for the picnic? ’

‘Absolutely I am. I’ve got tons of stuff at the ready.’

‘Same.’ He had lots of picnic stuff stuffed into the boot of his car. Everyone else was supposed to bring picnic stuff too but Cap did not have high expectations for a lot them. 

Margot came back into the living room, black heels clicking on the wooden floor.

“Right, I’m ready to go. Where’s my dad?” She said.

“Just giving the cups a quick wash.” Cap said. “How come it’s just your dad attending and not your mum, can I ask?”

“I was only allowed two tickets, and I wanted Julian to attend. Mum and dad apparently rock-paper-scissored to see who was attending.” Margot explained.

Cap hummed in understanding and pulled his car keys out of his pocket ready to go.

Oscar soon came back and together they all left the flat, heading to Cap’s car.

“I’ll get in the back.” Oscar said, winking at Cap. Cap frowned and Margot rolled her eyes and got in the front passenger seat.

They took off towards the city centre and were driving for a few minutes when Oscar spoke again.

“Well Margot, I absolutely approve of your boyfriend.”

“Huh?” Margot turned in her seat to look at her dad. “What do you mean?”

“You two. From what I’ve seen so far you’re very well suited for each other.”

“What?!” Margot barked as Cap slipped from the clutch whilst trying to crawl forward in traffic. The car jerked forward as it stalled.

Cap gasped as he set up the car again, as already there were cars blaring their horns behind him.

“We’re not dating!” Margot cried. “Cap’s not my boyfriend.”

“No, I’m not.” Cap stressed.

“You’re not?” Oscar cried. “Oh, sorry. I just assumed as you fit quite well what Margot’s told us about her boyfriend.”

“That's okay,” Cap said, waving his hand. “Don’t worry about it.” Before turning his voice down to less than a whisper towards Margot. “What the hell have you told them about Julian?”

Margot shrugged and turned to face back to the road. Cap sighed. Boy, was Oscar going to be disappointed.

They arrived at town and parked up.

“I have to go get my robes.” Margot said, she waved her hands at the pair of them. “Come on.”

“When am I going to meet your boyfriend then, Margot?” Oscar asked.

“He’ll be here for the graduation.” Margot said.

“He’s currently at work, but he’ll be finished and ready before it starts.” Cap assured Oscar.

Oscar hummed but didn’t say anything further.

They arrived at the guildhall and Margot joined the queue to get her robes for the graduation. They stood chatting for a while as the queue moved up. As the clock above the guildhall struck 10:00am they heard a loud “hi guys.”

They turned to see Pat and Fanny walking over to them, Pat waving at them. He was wearing a crisp white shirt and loose brown shorts.

“Is he your boyfriend?” Oscar asked.

“No, dad.” Margot sighed, waving at Pat.

“Congratulations, Margot.” Pat said, “a First, that’s amazing.”

“Thanks Pat, though you don’t have to keep congratulating me every time you see me.” Margot said, a slight smile on her face.

“Of course I do. A First is so great.” Pat said, a great beam on his face.

“Yes, you’ve worked very hard and done very well, you deserve to be congratulated all the time.” Fanny said, clasping her hands together and nodding. She was wearing a fancy grey dress, it’s long skirt touching the ground.

As the queue for the robes went inside and Margot disappeared inside with Oscar by her side.

“Are you wearing blush?” Cap asked Fanny, a mock tone of shock in his voice.

Pat gasped in pretend shock and faced Fanny. “No, you’re not.” Then he gasped again. “You are!”

“Yes, it’s a special occasion.” Fanny snapped, crossing her arms and staring off to the sky.

Pat laughed and Cap smirked. “Oh we’re just kidding, Fanny.” Pat said, nudging her with his elbow.

“It is a special occasion after all.” Cap said, nudging Fanny at her otherside.

Fanny sighed and nodded. “It is.” 

They milled around outside the guildhall as more people joined the queue besides them to collect their robes. Adam joined them soon into this, kissing Cap’s cheek and taking hold of his hand.

“Did you meet Margot’s dad?” Adam asked.

“Oh yes,” Cap said. “He thought I was her boyfriend because I fit the description that Margot gave him.”

“Really?” Both Adam and Fanny exclaimed.

“What’s Margot said about Julian?” Pat cried. “You and him are nothing alike.”

“You’re charming, he’s sleazy. You’re kind, he’s mean. You’re helpful, he’s actively harmful when you ask for something.” Adam started saying, ticking off on his fingers.

“I mean, maybe when asked what his hair colour is Margot said ‘blonde’ but her parents misheard it as ‘brown’.” Pat tried to reason.

“You’re smart, he’s dumb as a post. You’re funny, he’s cringe.” Adam continued to list off.

“Though really, he’s quite different with Margot than with us, so maybe that’s where it’s from.” Fanny said.

“Yeah I suppose you’re right.” Adam said. “He must be great with Margot otherwise she would have dropped him ages ago.”

“He absolutely will be.” Cap said, “though he’s not really all that bad. He has lots of very positive aspects, you just have to dig around to find it, but they’re there. He is a nice person. However it did really throw me when Margot’s dad said he thought we were dating.”

“Look, I know that Julian has his positive side, there’s no denying that.” Pat said. “We’ve been hanging out with him for enough years to comfortably say he’s alright.”

“Not really.” Fanny sniffed.

“Bit of a tosser really.” Adam added.

“No, he is alright. He’s good, really.” Cap said, feeling the need to defend who he regretfully considered his best friend. “He really is pretty great, once you get to know him. But-”

“- But Margot’s dad meeting him for the first time, he’s gonna get a shock.” Pat finished off.

Cap stared into space for a moment. “He’d best be wearing something nice.”

Soon Alison and Mike arrived too. They were both wearing cool summer clothes, both in matching pastel yellow colours.

“We have brought some absolutely delicious snacks.” Mike said. “They’re just bunging in the boot for dinner.”

“I’m so looking forward to the picnic.”  Pat said. “I spent all day yesterday making sandwiches and everything.”

“We bought a lot of pringles and chocolate.” Alison laughed.

Soon afterwards, Margot and Oscar came out of the guildhall. Margot was wearing her robes and graduation cap. Oscar seemed to ask something to her, gesturing at the forming crowd at the bottom of the steps. Margot shook her head and rolled her eyes, moving down the stairs.

“Margot,” Adam said, taking her into a hug as she reached the bottom. “Congratulations, I’ve been waiting for this day for ages.” He pulled away from Margot and extended his hand to Oscar. “Mr Dixon, nice to see you again.”

“Please, Adam, just Oscar, I’ve told you before.” Oscar shook Adam’s hand before turning to everyone else. “Care to introduce your dear old dad to the rest of your friends, Margot?”

“Of course,” Margot said, nodding. “We have Pat, Fanny, Alison, Mike, you already know Adam and Cap-”

“Margot you looks like a witch.”

“This is Mary.” Margot added as Mary came practically running over to them, holding Alex’s hand. “And Alex.”

“But not a real witch.” Mary said, doubling over after her little run. “An academic instead, but the robes are. Or maybe a sorcerer. Yeah. A sorcerer.”

“Congratulations.” Alex said, rubbing their thumb over Mary’s hand. “I think you wear the robes very well.”

“Thank you.” Margot said, a small smile on her face. “Shall we head over to the town hall?”

“Absolutely we shall.” Oscar said, taking Margot’s arm and the group started to move down the street over to the town hall.

“I’m excited for our picnic.” Mary said. “I’ve made lots of cakes for us to eats.”

“You’re all going on a picnic?” Oscar asked, his head tilted to behind him to look at the others. “I do love cake.”

“You can have slices of whatevers you want.” Mary said.

“I might just take you up on that.” Oscar grinned.

“Hey guys!” Came Humphrey’s voice from a slight distance away.

Cap took a few moments to find where Humphrey was coming from until he found him on the other side of the road, waving at them, Robin excitedly bopping up and down. He was wearing a heavily embroidered Ukrainian shirt. And he had seemingly brushed his hair.

Quickly, Robin hurried over the street, Humphrey tried to follow him but got caught in the middle of the street as cars went rushing either side of him. Everyone stared at him until he darted in a gap and arrived on the other pavement.

“Made it.” Humphrey said, giving a shaky thumbs up.

Everyone was silent for a moment before breaking out into conversations with each other.

“Margot,” Robin cried, practically throwing himself at her and pulling her into a huge bear hug, lifting her into the air and spinning around. “You look so cool.”

“Thanks, Robin.” Margot said, smiling faintly into his hair when he finally put her down.

“Is he-?” Oscar started, only to be cut off by Margot.

“No, dad.”

Cap noticed Oscar didn’t ask about Humphrey.

They took off again, Pat leading the way, talking about how he’s picked the best place for them all to have their picnic, hopefully nobody else has taken the place. Robin easily fitted into Margot’s unoccupied side, looping his arm around Margot’s non-Oscar filled armed. Oscar lent forward to catch sight of him and started to talk to him. Cap couldn’t quite hear what was being said, but judging by how Robin raised a hand to his shirt, talking animatedly, an excited smile on his face, Cap guessed Oscar was asking about the embroidery. Margot had a smile creeping onto her face as she watched the two of them talk.

The group reached the town hall and found that Kitty and Thomas were already there. Kitty, wearing a big pink dress, was in front of Thomas, speaking at a rapid pace into her microphone, flapping her free hand around. Thomas was holding a camera steady on his shoulder, a smile on his face. Kitty suddenly turned to look at everyone and gasped. She jumped up and down and waved. Thomas lowered the camera and turned to everyone else, waving alongside Kitty.

“Is he your-?” Oscar tried again only to, once again, be shot down by Margot.

“We couldn’t remember if we were all meeting at the town hall or the guildhall but we saw a lot of people here so we figured this was the right place.” Kitty said as she and Thomas arrived next to the group.

“The guildhall was where they picked up their robes.” Pat explained.

“That’s a nice camera.” Oscar said, examining the video camera in Thomas’ hands.

“It is.” Thomas said, a sound of excitement in this voice. “I bought it a few months ago.  It has a 30x optical zoom, it shoots in 4k UltraHD, it has its own internal image stabilisation option and has several interchangeable lenses and- Who are you?”

“I’m Oscar, Margot’s dad.” Oscar said, vaguely distracted as he carried on looking at the camera.

“I didn’t know you had actually bought yourself a camera, Thorne.” Cap said.

Kitty clapped her hands and nodded before Thomas could reply. “He’s also invested in rigs for lighting and sound and keeps directing me between multiple cameras. My YouTube videos are looking better than ever.”

“You’re really getting into this aren’t you, Thomas.” Pat said cheerfully.

“He’s taking evening classes at the community centre for filmmaking. He’s doing so well and putting everything into fantastic practice. The videos look so good and everyone keeps commenting about how much the quality has improved.” Kitty practically squealed, her eyes shining with joy.

“Kitty…” Thomas croaked, his face lighting up in a blush at her words.

“What? You’re so great.” Kitty said, taking hold of his arm and hugging it.

Cap smiled at the pair of them as Kitty continued to gush about how good Thomas was.

Then Oscar clapped his hands together. “Right, let’s get some pictures, shall we, before you have to go in, Margot?”

“Sure.” Margot nodded and took her phone out, handing it to Robin as she went to stand next to her dad.

“So when IS your boyfriend going to be arriving?” Cap heard Oscar ask.

That is a good question.

Where IS Julian?

Cap pulled out his phone and saw that there wasn’t any messages from Julian, and there was still about 20 minutes before the graduation started, Cap supposed.

But still, he was pushing it a bit.

Margot had some photos with her dad, then with Robin, then Adam, then Mary, then Kitty, then a begrudging one with Fanny, before she asked if Cap would like some. He nodded and posed with her for photos. It was after they had been taken Cap suddenly saw Julian coming running down the street.

“Oh there he is.” Cap muttered to Margot as Julian came slamming into Robin’s side, clutched hold of him and gasped for breath.

“Came… running… car parked….. Away away…” He panted as Robin patted his shoulder. Oh, his clothes had creases in it.

“Dad.” Margot called. “This is Julian, my boyfriend. Julian, this is my dad.”

Robin detangled Julian from and pushed him forward slightly. Julian’s eyes went wide and he attempted to straighten up, still breathing heavily.

“Hi,” he gasped, trying to push his hair backwards from where it had fallen over his forehead. “What’s good?”

Oscar stared at Julian for a moment. “Margot’s graduation.” He then said simply.

“Oh yeah. It’s great, innit. A First, even after I’ve spent so long of her time distracting her, if you know what I mean.”

Cap groaned and dropped his head into his hands.

Robin made a sharp motion and Julian gasped, his leg caving enough for him to stumble slightly. Good. Kick him again, Robin.

“Oh, your dad.” Julian spluttered. He shook his head and took a step forward. “Hi Margot’s dad.” He paused for a moment, eyes flickering around. “How long are you staying for?”

Everyone was staring at Julian. Several shifting awkwardly from side to side. Margot sighed and stared at the ground.

“A few days.” Oscar said, coldly. He extended his hand and Julian hesitantly took it. Oscar shook his hand and from the look on Julian’s face, seemingly crushed Julian’s hand in the process. “Shall we go in?” Oscar then asked, releasing Julian’s hand.

Julian nodded, his mouth fortunately kept shut. He shuffled off, passing by Cap and mouthing ‘help me’.

Cap instead gave him the finger.

“Are you sure you’re not dating Cap instead?” Oscar said.

“Pretty sure, dad.”

“What about Robin? He seems nice and an astrophysicist.”

“Not ye- Robin. Not Robin, dad.”

“How about the guy with the camera.”

“No!”

Thomas gasped. “You didn’t have to sound so offended, you know.”

“So sorry, Thomas.” Margot wiggled her fingers as she moved off. “See you guys later.”

“See you later.” The group choruses as Margot and Oscar walked off.

“Take lots of photos for me.” Robin called after them, to which Oscar replied with a thumbs up.

“Right.” Pat said, as all three finally disappeared from view. “Shall we get a coffee for an hour or so?”

They were all sat round on the benches outside of town hall, listening to Mary give a speech on how to care for chickens (terrible, vile things) when the doors of the hall opened up and the fresh graduates came flooding out of them. Everyone stood up and craned their necks to try and find Margot in the sea of cloaks.

“I see her.” Both Adam and Robin said in union, pointing to a specific figure which Cap could not tell if it was her or not.

What Cap could see however, was that Oscar and Julian had exited the building and seemed to be clutching and hugging each other.

They seemed to be crying.

Well, at least they’re getting along now.

The group moved forward to the graduates, who were all busy taking having their group photos taken. They couldn’t reach Margot (obviously), but Cap could wave at Julian to move over to them. Julian noticed them finally and draped his arm around Oscar’s shoulder and weaved their way through the crowd to them. Upon reaching them, Julian released Oscar and threw himself at Cap, crushing him in a hug.

“Was it nice?” Cap croaked, patting Julian’s back.

“It was very lovely.” Oscar said, dabbing his eyes.

“It was so amazing.” Julian whined into Cap’s chest. “She’s so great.”

“That’s wonderful.” Cap said. “Can you let me go now, please.”

Julian released Cap and opened his arms again, making grabby hands at Robin. Robin froze for a moment, before beaming and practically throwing himself into Julian’s arms and buried himself into Julian’s hug.

The group of graduates eventually broke up and Margot appeared by the side of the group.

“Hi guys.” She said, getting everyone’s attention on her.

“Oh Margot, I’m so proud of you.” Oscar said, taking her into a hug. “I’ve been sending you mum photos, she’s so proud too.”

“I’ll come down and see her soon.” Margot said. “I’ll bring Julian- er did you two get along?”

“Yes, I think we did.” Oscar said, nodding over to Julian who started to nod frantically, still clutching Robin to his chest.

It was only when Oscar released Margot did Julian move. Well, both Julian and Robin. Together, they both wrapped Margot into a hug of their own, one on either side of her.

“Thank you, boys.” Margot murmured, stroking both of their arms, as that was the only places Margot could reach with her arms pinned to her sides by them both.

Suddenly Kitty gasped. “Margot, Margot, can I do an interview with you?”

“Sure, why not.” Margot nodded.

Robin released Margot but Julian groaned and tried to cling onto her tighter.

“Come on, Julian.” Kitty cried. “Let my interviewee go.”

“Yeah, Julian.” Margot said, rolling her eyes.

Julian finally let go, going to stand besides Robin, beaming at him. Robin smiled softly back at Julian and took hold of his hand. Julian, if possible, seemed to beam even harder and a slight blush appeared on his face and- god, he practically had heart eyes and still hadn’t figured it out. Or hadn’t finished denying it.

Cap wanted to hit him with a steel chair sometimes. 

“We’ll find somewhere less busy to do this.” Thomas said, picking up his bag where his camera was stored. He scouted around for a few moments before gesturing for Kitty and Margot to follow him.

“See, he’s taking this really seriously.” Kitty said, her eyes glowing again as she watched Thomas. “He’s doing so great.”

“That’s wonderful, Kitty.” Margot said, as they started to walk off. “And I’ve been really enjoying your content in your videos too.”

“Have you? I want to start doing origami. Oh, maybe you could come over one day and we could do a session.”

“That would be great. What things do you want to make?”

“I want to make dogs, and cats, and birds, and butterflies, and flowers and…”

They disappeared into the crowd following Thomas and Kitty’s voice trailed off.

“Will we be eating soon do you reckon?” Mike asked.

“Yeah, I’m kinda starving here.” Humphrey said.

“Margot has to return her robes and then we can all eat.” Oscar said.

“We’ll go and set up our picnic in the gardens.” Pat said, “Would you guys (you guys clearly meaning Oscar, Julian and Robin) be able to let them know and come find us. The garden isn’t too big, so you should be able to spot us easily.” Pat finished explaining to Oscar.

“Yeah sure, we’ll get them.” Julian said. “Go set up my food.”

“Right, guys.” Pat said, waving his hands to get everyone’s attention. “So shall we all go get our food and meet back here.”

“Yes, I want everyone back here in 10 minutes with their food or else we’ll head to the garden without you.” Cap said.

“No worries if you’re late,” Pat added. “Just go find Julian and Robin and meet us again.”

“Yes, but you won’t be late back, will you.” Cap nodded curtly. “Get to it everyone.” And with that he turned and marched in the direction of his car, hearing a flurry of activity behind him.

Cap made it to his car, collected his food and returned back to the agreed spot in record time. Only Fanny had made it back before him. She was holding a portable cooler and nodded at Cap as he arrived.

“I’ve bought quiche.” Fanny said, waving her cooler around. “And cans of sprite.”

Cap nodded back to her. He knew Fanny would bring the good stuff.

He did love a sprite.

“I’m getting a dog, too, in a few days time.” Fanny then said. “He’s a little white one. I’m thinking of calling him Dante.”

“How lovely.” Cap smiled. “I must come walk him with you one day.”

“Oh, you will. You can pick his waste.”

“Great.” Cap said deadpan. “Thanks.”

“Hi guys.” Pat’s voice came suddenly. He was walking over to them with his arms open. “I’ve finally managed to arrange for Daley to come over to mine for two weeks entirely. I’m picking him up next week.”

“That’s great, Pat.” Cap beamed at the news and even Fanny was smiling.

“Hey, why don’t we go camping for a couple of nights, over the bank holiday weekend?” Pat said, excitement flooding into his voice. “Daley will still be with me and I’m sure we’ll have a great time.”

“We’ll have to check who’s available before booking anywhere.” Cap murmured, rubbing his chin.

“I am NOT going camping.” Fanny cried.

“But Dante will love it.” Cap said.

“Who’s Dante?” Pat asked, looking between them.

“Fanny’s new dog.”

“You have a dog?!” Pat was practically vibrating with excitement. “Can I see him? Can I walk him?”

“Well I’m getting a dog in the next couple of days, but once he’s settled in, yes you can both see and walk him.” Fanny said.

“I’m sure Dante will love to go camping.” Pat continued to chat. “He’ll have spent what, three weeks of settling, I’m sure he’ll be all settled and ready for a camping trip.” He then practically stared up at Fanny, pulling the best puppy eyes he could until finally Fanny relented.

“I’ll think about it.” Was all she said, to which Pat cheered and took that as a major win.

Pretty soon everybody else had arrived, carrying baskets, coolers and bags. To Cap's surprise, everyone had brought something.

“Come on, everyone.” Pat then said, waving his hand to lead everyone to the garden. “Follow me.”

He led the way to the garden where fortunately, his spot that he had picked out earlier was free.

Cap and Alison helped him set up the blankets whilst everyone else set about arranged the food, drinks and plates.

They all rested, enjoying the time in the sun, waiting for the others to arrive.

It wasn’t long before they arrived. Margot, minus robes, and Oscar walking arm in arm, Kitty and Robin chatting happily, whilst, a little bit further behind them, Julian and Thomas seemed to be arguing.

“All sorted?” Mary asked and Kitty nodded happily.

“I got a great interview with Margot, she answered all my questions and made it a lot of fun.” Kitty said. “I’m going to have a lot of fun editing. I’ll send you all a link once I’ve uploaded it. Oh, and I also did a section with Robin about his clothes and what they mean, but that’ll be a separate video. You might need to help me write the script I’ve still got to film, Robin.”

Robin nodded. “Sounds good.”

“I’m not going to have this conversation with you anymore, Julian.” Thomas snapped. “I’m not going to do that.”

“Oh come on, Thomas.” Julian exclaimed, just as Cap was going to march over to them to see what they were arguing about. “It would be fun, and you would get tons of money. Like, tons of money.”

“No! How do you know how much I would get anyway?”

“The cameramen got a lot more money than the stars.” Julian said. Oh god, was Julian trying to convince Thomas to film porn? “or at least,” Julian continued. “They did back when I… you know what, never mind.”

Thomas looked at him funny and opened his mouth to say something but Julian shook his head, plastered a beam on his face and moved over to Margot who was stood at the other side of the picnic with Oscar, far enough away to have not been able to hear Julian and Thomas argue. He kissed her forehead.

Everyone eventually settled down on the numerous blankets and dug into the food.

“Okay,” Cap heard Oscar say to Margot. “Now that I’ve got to know him, Julian’s not that bad.” Then he grinned. “Not as good as Cap or Robin, but he’s still alright.”

Julian was sat right next to him as he said this. Listening to Julian cough and splutter, no wonder Oscar was grinning.

“Thanks,” Margot said. “He is pretty okay, isn’t he.”

Julian coughed and spluttered some more.

“Hey everyone,” Pat said, the very excited energy in his voice which obviously led Cap to know what he was going to say. “What are you all doing on the bank holiday weekend?”

“Why?” Alison asked, slowly.

“Because,” Pat said, smiling wildly. “We have got to go camping!”

Chapter Text

Cap stretched in the early morning sun.

He had double- triple- quadruple checked all of his supplies. Yes, the tent was packed along with everything else that the tent required. Yes, sleeping bags. Yes, extra clothes. Yes, toothbrush. He had also checked Adam’s stuff too.

But still, that didn’t stop Cap from kneeling down and checking their stuff again.

“I think everything’s there, August.” Adam said, chucking. “And if not, we can do without for a day or two.”

“It’s always best to be prepared.” Cap said, eyes darting around their bags.

Adam laughed again, “okay, okay.”

They were waiting for Pat to come and pick them up in his minivan. Then Cap would have the ordeal of getting everyone else into the minivan afterwards.

Sure, some of them might be easy to herd, but some of them (Julian), he was once again, expecting a battle.

The minibus soon pulled up and Pat waved at them through the window. Cap and Adam quickly packed their stuff into the bus and took their seats.

“Now, I’m certain we have everything.” Cap muttered. “Perhaps I should-”

“No, August.” Adam said. “We have everything.”

“And if we don’t have everything,” Pat said. “You can always buy it later.”

“Yes, yes.” Cap said, waving his hands. “I suppose you’re right.”

Pat pulled off and, thanks to the light early morning traffic, he arrived at Julian’s in only 10 minutes or so.

“Right, I’ll go get them.” Cap said, already pulling his ring of keys and selected Julian’s front door. He got out of the bus and made his way up to Julian’s door and was about to unlock it when he figured he should at least try and knock.

He would knock and then give it a minute before unlocking it.

So knock he did.

To his surprise, within only several seconds, the door opened. Robin was stood in the doorway, giving Cap a beam.

“Hi, Cap.” He said, standing aside and waving Cap through. “Come on in. They’re still asleep but we’re all packed. Been tryna wake them for a while.”

Cap followed Robin through the flat and into the living room where all their bags were laid out.

Cap’s eyes went wide as he followed Robin through. Robin was here? He spent the night? With them? Finally?!?

Unfortunately Cap’s question was answered by a duvet neatly folded up on the couch, along with a couple of pillows.

He sighed.

“What’s up?” Robin asked as he picked up a bag.

“Oh,” Cap said, flustered that Robin had noticed that. “Just…. I can’t believe they’re still asleep. At this time, of….” He glanced at the clock on the wall. “Quarter to six!”

Robin giggled. “I know right. Some people would sleep all day if they could.” He nudged Cap’s side and laughed again. “But come, come!” He strode down the hall and flung open the door to Julian’s bedroom. “I’ve said this five times already.” He said loudly. “Wake up!”

Julian sat up with a shout, Margot groaning and slinging under the duvet.

“And I’ve said five time, just a few more minutes.” Julian hissed, rubbing his eyes.

“Sure.” Cap said, taking a step forward and grabbing hold of the clothes that were hung over the dresser (probably by Robin no doubt) and threw first Julian’s then Margot’s on the bed. “Five minutes to get dressed.”

They both groaned again but eventually got up. Margot shooed them both out of the room as they got dressed.

Cap banged on the door. “You’d better not go back to sleep.”

“We won’t.” Came Julian’s voice in a yawn. “Hey, do I have time to do my hai-”

“Absolutely not!” Both Cap and Robin cried.

“Put a hat on. You’ll be in a tent for two nights, you won’t be able to do your hair all of then.” Cap added.

“Ughh.” Julian groaned.

Eventually they both came out, fully dressed and Julian went to his hall closest and rummaged through it, before pulling out a baseball cap.

“You owe me for this, Cap.” He said, putting the cap on.

“Owe you for wh- oh never mind.” Cap shook his head. “Come on, let’s put the stuff in the minivan.”

Robin picked up several of the heavy looking bags and carted them off.

“Julian, get the other bags.” Margot said, stretching and following after Robin.

“Julian!” Cap barked, as Julian failed to move, staring straight ahead, directly at… ah Robin.

Still, Cap wasn’t carrying the rest of the bags.

“Julian.” He said again and Julian blinked rapidly, shaking his head.

“I’m coming, I’m coming.” He yawned and picked up a bag. “A little help?” He asked Cap.

“Not on your life.” Cap sniffed, before taking off out of the flat.

“Hey!”

Eventually they got them into the minivan and were off to their next stop.

“Wait- wait- wait. I’ve got it- I’ve-” Humphrey, in fact, did not got it. His tent bag fell from his arms and went clanging on the floor. He and Cap winced as they both heard a ripping noise.

“Oh, please please please don’t be too bad, don’t be too bad.” Humphrey prayed as he picked up the tent bag.

His prays were no good.

Poles from the tent came sliding out of the new rip at one end of the bag.

Humphrey sighed and dropped his head in resignation. “Hey, Pat. Do you have any duct tape in the van?” Next to be picked up was Fanny and once he was pulled up, Pat got out of the minivan and clapped his hands together. “I can’t wait to see Dante.” He told Cap.

Together they walked to Fanny’s house and knocked on the door.

It didn’t take long until the door opened and Fanny shoved a bag into Cap’s arms immediately before shoving her tent bag into Pat’s arms. “Here, put them in the van.” She said before turning back inside. “Dante.” She called.

Along came the tap tap tapping of little paws running over.

“Dante, there you are.” Fanny swooped down and scooped Dante up, his little face popping up over Fanny’s arms, his tiny pink tongue hanging out.

“Dante, the Captain and Pat. Captain, Pat, this is Dante.” Fanny said, bouncing him in her arms.

“Hello, Dante.” Pat beamed. “I’d give you a pat but my arms are a bit full.”

Dante’s tail started wagging as Pat spoke to him.

“Let’s get the stuff in the van and then we can have Dante time.” Cap said.

Everyone nodded and with one hand Fanny picked up her last bag, locked her door and carried Dante to the van. Once all of Fanny’s stuff was packed, Dante was on the floor, jumping up for tickles from Pat and Cap and also Robin and Humphrey when they noticed there was a dog about. Soon Dante was lying on his back, getting a most marvellous belly rub from Humphrey when Adam stuck his head out the door.

“We’ve been here for about 15 minutes now, don’t you reckon we should go get the others?”

“Quite right.” Cap said, scratching Dante’s head one last time and got up. “Everyone into the minivan.”

Fanny scooped Dante up and everyone piled back into the van and set off for Kitty.

Kitty was awake and raring to go when Cap buzzed for her.

“I’m so excited.” Kitty sang as they wanted to the minivan, Cap helping her carry her bags. “I’ve not been camping for ages.”

“Neither have I.” Cap said. “It should be fun.”

“And we can walk Dante, and see the butterflies, and try and see the fishes in the river, and see the squirrels, and the birds- oh, do you think there’ll be a playpark?”

“I expect so much.”

“Could you play on it with me? If there is one?”

Cap paused for a moment, looking at Kitty’s pleading face. “... Okay.”

“Yay!” Kitty hugged Cap and spun around him.

Kitty continued to chatter as they reached and packed her bag and tent in the van and climbed back aboard, to which Kitty squealed seeing Dante and went to lavish attention on him.

They went on to pick Alison and Mike and Thomas up easily (well, Thomas with some early morning persuasion) and were off for Mary fairly quickly.

There were tractors in the driveway, so Pat wasn’t able to get the minivan too close to the house, leaving Cap to walk over to the house to fetch Mary.

Making him go through….. The chickens.

They clucked and scratched about on the floor, before turning their attention, and huge bulging eyes, onto Cap. Then they started to toodle their way over to him.

“No, stay away!” Cap cried.

They did not.

Cap darted through them as quick as he could, their little chicken beaks pecking at his legs.

“Ow, Ow, Ow, Ow.” Cap hissed, trying to run past them and push them off from trying to eat his legs off.

Eventually he made it to the porch, and hammered on the door, only for the chickens to follow him up the steps to be on the porch with him.

“Agh!” He clambered up onto a chair, hoisting his legs up away from the grabby chickens. “Mary, hurry up!”

The chickens continued to cluck and bock at Cap, eventually becoming bored and instead clucking and bocking at each other.

Mary soon opened the door, carrying her bags with her.

“Shoo, shoo,” she cried, waving the chickens away from the porch. “Sorrys about that. Knows you don’t like chickens.”

Cap coughed and stood up from the chair as the chickens departed. “Yes, well, very good. Shall we go?” Please say we go now.”

Mary nodded and shut the door behind her. They started their treacherous trail back to the minivan but fortunately the chickens no longer had any interest in them. Cap loaded the minivan with lightning speed and ushered Mary into the van as quickly as he could.

Then, with everyone who was camping was with them, off they went. They left the final remnants of the city behind as they left Mary’s farm on the outskirts and drove into the countryside. Everyone kept passing Dante between them to stroke, which he much enjoyed.

It didn’t take long for them to arrive at the campsite, it was only 45 minutes or so away from the city. Cap and Fanny got out of the van, Fanny taking Dante for a little wander on his lead whilst Cap went to check them in.

“You guys are over in E Square.” The bored receptionist told him. “You might wanna get some clean water before driving up there. And pick your spot quick, the only way we could squeeze you all in was that someone will have to pitch their tent on a slope.”

“Er, thanks for the advice.” Cap said. He nodded and returned back to the minivan to inform the others (well, about the water and pitching locations, best not let them in on the slope before he got a spot). They were quickly off again, filling up their water tank and driving down to E Square.

“This seems pretty good.” Pat said, hopping out of the van and kneeling down. “Good tree cover to stop some of the wind coming through, the ground seems quick solid, but easy enough to stick pegs into. I don’t think we’re too far away from the steam either.”

“Then we can go see the fish.” Kitty cheered.

“But we’re also like, miles away from the toilets.” Alison added.

“That’s what the streams for.” Robin grunted, only for Kitty to cry out “but the fishes!”

“Let’s get the tents up.” Cap loudly announced, already taking his and Adam’s tent out the minivan. He moved over to a space just a little distance from the van. “We’ll go here. You guys can pick anywhere else. Do try and form some sort of order.”

“Alright, let’s get this tent party started.” Mike sang, picking up his and Alison’s tent and picking a spot. “We’re going here.”

And with that everyone else scrambled off to pitch their tents.

And quickly dissolved into outright chaos. Mary and Thomas started to argue about who saw what spot first, Humphrey had already got tangled in his own tent and Fanny was sat on the front seat of the minivan, Dante on her lap.

“Pitch mine once you’ve finished yours, Cap.” She said. “I do have Dante to take care of.”

Cap rolled his eyes and sighed. He’d do it but he wasn’t happy about it.

Pat was helping Kitty how to put her tent up even before tackling his own. 

Soon Cap and Adam had finished their tent and Cap got swiftly on with Fanny’s.

“Mike,” came Alison’s voice suddenly. “Don’t you think we’re on a bit of a slant here?”

“What? Naaah, we’re not, we’re- we’re on a slant, aren’t we.”

“You picked the hill.”

“Yeaaah, I picked the hill.”

“No, no, no.” Fanny was barking at Cap. “The entrance goes the opposite way.”

“Your face needs to go the other way.” Adam grumbled as he helped Cap fix up the tent.

“What was that?” Fanny called.

“Nothing.” Adam said, flashing Fanny a quick smile.

“Hmm,” Fanny glared and returned back to petting Dante.

“Julian, you’ve messed this up.” Margot was saying. “Don’t rip my tent.”

Cap glanced over to see Julian’s head pop out of the mass of materials which just collapsed. “It’s not my fault you bought a rubbish tent.”

“I did NOT buy a rubbish tent.” Margot snapped. “Get out of there and leave it to me.”

Cap watched Julian struggle and wiggle his way out of the bounds of the tent. Until there was a loud snapping sound.

“Julian!” Margot shouted, “you broke it!”

“I did not-” Julian janked a pole up, revealing it to be snapped clean in half, a tear in the fabric running through it. “Oh that’s broken.”

“Oh my god!” Margot placed her head in her hands and Cap assumed she was counting to 10. That’s what he’d be doing.

“See, this would have never happened if you’d have joined my tent-pitching instructions.” Pat said, wagging his finger.

“Oh, go pitch your own tent, Patrick.” Julian grunted, scrambling out of the carcass of his own. “Hey, wait, do you have any duct tape?”

“Yeah, of course.” Pat snorted in amusement. “It’s in the front somewhere.”

Julian went storming past Cap to the minivan. He got in the front and slammed the door shut as he conducted his search.

“There you go, Fanny.” Cap said, standing up. “The tent is up.”

Fanny hummed and stood up, letting Dante on the floor. She and Dante walked over to the tent and examined it. “What do you think, Dante?” Dante yipped and Fanny nodded. “It’ll do. Not quite in the correct position, but that’s fine.”

Cap scowled and shook his head.

“Agh! Why are these pins so hard to put in?” Thomas cried, throwing the tent pegs on the ground in dismay.

“Here.” Cap said, picking up the pegs and jamming in the ground. He soon finished and gave Thomas a silent thumbs up.

Thomas bowed slightly in thanks. “I thank you.”

“Cap, Cap!” Kitty cried suddenly. “Look, I’ve done it.” Kitty proudly presented her tent. “I did it all myself.”

“That’s excellent, Katherine.” Cap said, smiling at her.

“Really great, Kitty.” Thomas added.

Kitty giggled and went inside, taking her bag with her.

“I can’t believe Mary took my space.” Thomas grumbled, as he unpacked his sleeping bag. “I saw that spot first.”

“Oh goes put your head in a beehive.” Mary scoffed, sticking her head out her tent. “I got my stuff here first.”

“You pushed me outs- out!” Thomas exclaimed.

“I dids not!” Mary huffed. She turned slightly to Cap and winked at him. Then she stuck her head back inside the tent and did not come out again even after Thomas shouted after her.

Julian came stomping back through the area, duct tape in hand.

“Give it here.” Margot snapped, yanking it from his hand. She started to wrap the broken pole with it.

Robin came bobbing over to them, leaving his completed tent.

“You can stay in mine if you’d like.” He offered, a slight hint of nerves in his voice if you could believe it.

“That would be a fantastic offer.” Margot said loudly,. “We might just take you up on that, share with you, won’t we, Julian.”

“Are you kidding. We’ve just patched the tent up, I’ll definitely get it up now.” Julian said, not paying attention to Margot and Robin to see them both deflate at this response.

Cap shook his head and returned to his and Adam’s tent. Adam was sat with his legs crossed, unpacking their blow up bed. Cap lent down to kiss him and then picked up the pump. “Let’s get on with this.” He grimaced, hating the impending work.

As it turned out, it wasn’t all that bad actually.

They got the bed inflated and both collapsed on top of it.

“We’re going to have fun this weekend.” Cap said, staring at the roof of the tent.

“Yes, we are.” Adam said, patting Cap’s hand. “And I am going to eat so many marshmallows.”

“Did we pack any-” Cap said suddenly in a flurry of panic.

“No, WE didn’t, but I know for a fact I saw Kitty with a huge bag of them earlier.” Adam said, stroking Cap’s hand. “So don’t worry.”

Cap smiled and stroked Adam’s hand back. “Right, let’s get the rest ready.”

After they unpacked the rest of their stuff, they left their tent back into the sunshine. It must be about midday by now.

Cap gleaned over at Julian to find that he had managed to put the tent up though looking at the wonky angle of it, Cap doubted the broken pole who would hold up.

“Right guys.” Pat was saying, attempting to gather everyone around. “So I’ve planned a walk through the forest and by the river for us to do. It’s an hour one way and an hour back, but we can stop off at a village for a pub meal, dogs are allowed. So we’ll have a cuppa, get all out walking gear on and get on cracking for tea.”

“And this site allows campfires, so afterwards we can light on during the evening. I have brought some games with me.” Cap said.

“So, who wants a drink?” Pat asked, raising his kettle aloft.

After they were all fed and watered, Cap and Pat struggled to get them all in order ready for their hike through the woods. Dante was very excited for the walk, wagging his whole body in anticipation.

They took off once they had managed to get everyone ready, like heading school children and off they went. They left the campsite (stopping for about 10 minutes whilst everyone used bathroom on the way) and off down the trail.

Dante was immediately stopping and sniffing at every single twig he could get to. Though his slow pace matched the rest of the group as they slowly meandered their way down the trail.

Kitty had taken over holding Dante’s lead and was giggling as he snuffled around. Pat was telling Thomas and Fanny about the trail and the river that ran through it.

Cap was enjoying the sounds of the forest, the wind through the trees, the chirps of the birds, the low voices of his friends-

The irritating, grating voice of Julian.

“Caaaap.”

“Julian.”

“You’d help me fix the tent, right?” Julian asked.

“It’s snapped clean, I believe it’s unfixable.” Cap said. “Why not take Robin up on his offer and just stay with him.”

“It’s the principle of the thing. I need to make the tent all good.” Julian said. “And besides, Robin needs his sleep, he won’t want me taking up all his space.” Julian shook his head and grinned at Cap. “Did you pack everything in the end?”

“Yes, I did.”

“Stove?”

“Yes.”

“Kettle?”

“Yes.”

“Toothbrush.”

“Yes, Julian-”

“Dog treats for Dante?”

Cap opened his mouth to say something when he realised that no. He hadn’t packed any dog treats for Dante.

How could he have forgotten?

Well because he imagined Fanny would have brought some but still.

“I’ll buy some at the shop.” Cap said stiffly, ignoring Julian’s sniggering.

They continued onwards down the path, Dante running in and out of the trees, occasionally stopping to stare at the group to make sure that they were there. When he was sure they were he would return to running about. Fanny was hurrying after him, throwing his ball after him. Dante kept bringing it back, but at that point it was a tossup as to whether he’d bring the ball back to Fanny or Adam. Until he decided that Mike was the person who had to throw the ball from now on. No exceptions and no drops for anyone apart from Mike.

“That’s a yew tree.” Pat was saying to Kitty and Alison. “You can tell by the leaves, like needles.”

“And that’s an ash tree, isn’t it.” Alison said, pointing at another one.

“That’s right, Alison.” Pat said, beaming.

“We’ve gots a huge cedar tree on our farm.” Mary said, wandering over to them. “It’s been there since before I can remember.”

“Then I could show you that tree later one. Cedar is a pretty good name isn’t it.” Pat said. “It’s on the Lebanese flag you know.”

“Mary’s farm?” Kitty gasped, her eyes twinkling.

“No, Kitty, just the tree itself. Not Mary’s farm.” Alison said.

“Just Mary’s tree?” Kitty gasped again.

“No, just-” Alison started, but then stopped and said. “Yeah, sure. Mary’s tree.”

“Wow!” Kitty once again gasped.

“The cedar is a very common tree in Afghanistan.” Cap said, placed his hands behind his back. “I saw an awful lot of them when I did my tours there. Though there are a lot of conifers and firs up in the mountains too. Of course the majority of the country is desert. Being out in the desert, the scorching sun, the bumps and throws of the military jeep as it drove over the rocky terrain. Yes, I remember one time when we were coming out of Kabul-”

He glanced around and realised that everyone had wandered off. He sighed and crossed his arms, glaring at them as they all walked off down the path.

“Isn’t that right, Cap?” Margot’s voice came suddenly.

Cap looked away from the argument and over to Margot, who was standing with Robin.

“What’s right?” He asked, sliding over to them.

“That,” Margot said, her voice dropping so as not to be overheard. “Julian likes Robin back just as much as he likes him.”

Robin shuffled awkwardly and started to fidget with the collar of his shirt as Margot spoke.

“Yes.” Cap finally said. “Though I’m not quite sure he’s realised that yet.”

Robin let out a sigh and started to talk, “but-”

“We have discussed it a lot, Robin.” Margot said. “We’re not keeping things monogamous, you can come in. I won’t be mad. I’d actually be very pleased. And if we’re being honest, even if Julian wasn’t around I probably would have already snapped you up as a platonic date.” A ghost of a smile crept over her lips. “Keep on going, and I might still.”

Cap let out a chuckle whilst a blush spread over Robin’s face.

Margot patted his arm. “Tell him how you feel and what you want. Whenever you’re ready to do so.”

“But,” Robin tried. “Are you sure he does? I don’t wanna get in the way and I can’t really offer an-”

“Robin,” Cap said before Robin could go any further. “I am practically his brother. Trust me, I know.” Those words came tumbling out of his mouth without any thought, like the confession was just waiting to force its way out, surprising everyone including the speaker. With a sense of shock, Cap realised that yes, he would call Julian his brother when it came down to it. That was both an alarming and reassuring revelation which he would have to dwell on further.

“And I’m his girlfriend,” Margot said, seemingly unaware that Cap had just catapulted himself into a sudden and urgent crisis. “I know too. You wouldn’t get in the way and have lots to offer.” She paused for a moment before saying, hesitantly. “How would you feel about sleeping with Julian?”

Robin went bright red and looked at the floor. “Maybe.” He said quietly, after a moment of silence.

“Do I really have to be here to hear that?” Cap muttered, though neither of them paid him any attention. And neither did Cap wander off.

“Oh, then I’ll tell you this.” Margot said, her voice near conspiratorial. “Sometimes he asked me to speak Ukrainian in bed. He really likes it. And then sometimes I make my voice go as deep as I can, to copy you, and he goes insane. (“Good lord.” Says Cap). Trust me, he likes you a lot. Ask him out.”

Robin hummed but didn’t say anything else. He continued to stare at the floor, a bright shade of red.

They continued to walk, Cap fell deep into thought about his little revelation before, until they came out of the woods where a little village was nestled in the clearing before them.

“Right,” Alison said, clapping her hands together. “Who wants a pint?”

Their afternoon went by in the summer sun whilst they were lazing about in the beer garden. Dante was happily rolling about on the floor, occasionally begging for treats when the humans were having lunch. Fanny inspected everything that they tried to give him, deeming it either suitable or “how dare you offer my dog that!”

Dante was offered a lot of treats.

Cap found that he had a lot of difficulty focusing on the group’s conversation, lost in thought about what his and Julian’s relationship truly was.

He stared at Julian as he stole a bit of Alison’s beer whilst she wasn’t looking.

Of course, they knew everything about each other. Told each other everything. Cap could probably tell you the exact thoughts that were running though Julian’s head at this moment. They bickered frequently. They shared everything. Cap had an immense fondness for Julian which he knew was reciprocated. He wanted Julian to succeed. He wanted him to be happy. Was this why he was so invested in Julian’s relationship with Margot and Robin? This was his brother’s future he was invested in? Surely he just felt this way about all the others? How about Pat? No, Pat was just his friend, not his broth- THERE IT WAS AGAIN. The word slipping out without Cap realising.

“Hey, August.” Came Adam’s soothing voice, pulling him from his ponder. “Are you okay? You’ve been staring at the table for the past 10 minutes.”

Cap raised his head and turned to look at Adam. “Adam.” He said quietly. “Are Julian and I brothers?”

Adam let out a slight laugh. “Well, I don’t think biologically-”

“But you do think we are, in like, an overall sense?” Cap asked, a touch frantic.

“Honestly… yeah.” Adam said. “I’d say you too definitely are.”

Cap groaned and dropped his head back to the table.

“Hey, come on. It’s not so bad.” Adam said.

“Yeah, no but the fact I just realised that is.” Cap muttered. He glanced again at Julian, who was now trying to get Robin to drink something, whilst Robin was bright red and shaking his head. Knowing how lightweight Robin was, that was probably for the best. Cap hummed and nodded. “Yes, that is my brother alright.”

They eventually left the pub, stumbling slightly back up the hour or so trail back to the campsite. They had stopped at a takeaway, snacking on burgers and chips as they walked.

“Let’s play some games when we get back.” Alison said.

“We’ve brought Jenga.” Mike said. “With all the pieces this time, I’m sure.”

“I’ve brought Twister.” Pat said.

“Ugh,” Thomas sighed. “I’m not playing Twister again.

“That’s because you just suck at it.” Cap snapped, pointing at Thomas, who gawked and squeaked at that.

“How dare you!” Thomas screeched. “I do NOT suck at Twister. My limbs are very flexible, thank you very much. It’s you who sucks at Twister.”

Cap spluttered and looked at Thomas and then at Adam. “Adam, back me up, you know my limbs are very flexible, aren’t they.”

Adam suddenly started to cough and splutter, having just taken a bite of his burger. Mary came up beside him and slapped him on the back until he stopped choking and started to laugh instead.

“What?” Cap cried. “What is it?”

“August,” Adam wiped his eyes. “Say that again.”

“What?” Cap frowned. “Tell Thomas how flexible my limbs are?”

At that, Mary also started to cackle, whilst Adam fell into fresh laughter.

Cap stared at them, hands on his hips. “Really!” He turned to Thomas, who was leaning against a tree, his shoulders shaking in laughter. All three of them were steadfastly ignoring him as he shouted at him.

They eventually made it back to the campsite, the majority of the alcohol having worn off on the walk back to the site.

They set up their games and Cap caught sight of Adam gently pushing away the Twister mat Pat was bringing out, shaking his head.

Cap soon found himself in a game of Secret Hitler, peering at his card as he reached for a bottle of beer. Fascist. He hid the card and took a swig of drink.

There was about 6 of them playing this, a few of the others were playing Uno and some more were playing Jenga. The ones playing Uno seem to have set Dante up a hand too. Cap also noticed Thomas sniffing around where the Twister was.

“So Julian.” Fanny said as she straightened her card. “Are you Hitler?”

“How dare you!” Julian cried! “I’m not Hitler, either secretly or openly. I find the blatant insinuation on this opening move of chance an insult!”

Fanny grunted and laid back on her chair.

“Okay everyone, close your eyes.” Pat said. Everyone did and heard Pat say “now the fascist and Hitler, open your eyes and acknowledge each other.”

Cap opened his eyes and stared directly into Julian’s, who winked, his eyes shaded the the rim of his baseball cap, and raised his card to show the Hitler role. Cap shoved his fist into his mouth to try and not laugh.

“Close your eyes again.” Pat said. Cap did so. “And now everyone open your eyes.”  Cap opened his again and glanced around the table, to see everyone else blinking back into the light. “Is everybody happy?” Pat asked. When everybody nodded, Pat nodded as well. “Let’s form a government.”

After a hard fought battle for the fascist party, where Cap had ended up as chancellor to Fanny’s president and Alison had previously been assassinated by Kitty, the ending came when Fanny slammed her hands on the table, pointed at Julian and cried “I assassinate Julian.”

Julian suddenly stilled for a moment, before bringing a hand to his chest, clutching over his heart. He collapsed out of his chair and to the ground. “Aghh!” He groaned, his hand groping around on the tabletop. “You…… got me.” He threw his card towards the other and his hand disappeared as he fell completely to the ground.

As Fanny reached over to pick up the card Julian’s head popped back over the edge of the table. “Even though it was just because you had it out for me the entire time.”

“That’s because I knew it!” Fanny snapped, slapping the card faceup on the table, revealing the Hitler card to the rest of the group.

“But I wasn’t a fascist by the way.” Alison said.

“You weren’t?” Kitty gasped. She then turned and buried her face into her hands and sobbed. “I’m so sorry I assassinated you, Alison.”

“Aw that’s okay, Kitty. I was being pretty suspicious, I guess.” Alison said.

“Yes you were.” Kitty stated, raising her head out of her hands.

Thomas came wandering over to her, the Twister mat tucked under his arm. “Aww, Kitty. Would you like to play Twister with me?”

Kitty gasped, though this time in excitement. She jumped up and placed her hands on Thomas’ face and squished it. “Yes I do!”

Thomas’ eyes slowly dragged over to Cap and he stared at him until Cap sighed. “Okay, fine!”

They set the Twister up and Kitty waved her hands. “I want to go first.”

“Julian.” Cap barked loud enough for Julian to spin around from where he was arguing with Fanny. “Come and spin the Twister.”

It took a little while to convince Julian to spin for them but he did so in the end. He flicked the spinner and announced “Right hand green.”

Kitty giggled and placed her hand on a green circle.

Julian spun again. “Left foot yellow.”

Thomas stood on a yellow circles.

“Right hand red-” Cap placed a hand on a red circle. This was easy so far. “-Robin, are you okay? You're not drinking?”

“Julian!” Kitty shouted until Julian flicked the spinner again.

“Left foot red- Anyway, Robin, you’re not wanting to drink?” Julian tried again to Robin who was now stood next to him.

“Julian!” Kitty shrieked.

Julian waved his hands and flicked the spinner again. “Left hand green.”

“No, I- er- don’t feel like drinking.” Robin said.

“That’s no bother.” Julian said, flicking the spinner again. “Left foot red. But you’re feeling all okay?”

“Yeah, I’m all okay.” Robin said. “I’m just not wanting to do anything silly (“Left hand blue”). And you know how much of a lightweight I can be.”

“You can be as silly as you- right hand blue- as silly as you want.” Julian said and Cap just knew he was beaming.

“Yeah, Robin.” Came Margot’s voice. “Why don’t you (“Right foot green.”) be silly tonight?” Ah, slightly attempting the matchmaker approach, huh?

“Uhhhh- I don’t know, not today I think.” Robin said (alongside Julian calling out “right foot yellow.”) “I  think maybe some other time. Another day.”

“Okay. Whenever you feel like being silly.” Margot said. Then her voice changed slightly. “Can I stay in your tent?”

“Eh-what's wrong- Right foot red- what’s wrong with our tent?!” Julian cried.

“What’s wrong is you broke it.” Margot said.

Ow- ow- ow- Cap’s limbs were starting to hurt somewhat.

“You broke the pole, ripped the outer layer and already broke the zip.” Margot exclaimed.

“Yeah but- left hand blue- but that just means we have to… snuggle a bit more tonight.” Julian whined.

“No, I’m not doing that. It’s forecast to rain.” Margot said. Oh, was it? “Robin, can I stay with you?”

“Yeah, if you want.” Robin said. “Julian, you can too.”

“I- right hand green- I am very happy in my own tent that I put up myself thank you very much.” Julian stated and Cap guessed he had his hands on his hips. “Right hand yellow!”

Suddenly Cap’s head banged into Thomas’s and they both yelped and collapsed to the ground. Ow- ow- ow- ow- his limbs.

“Yay!” Kitty stood up and clapped her hands. “I won, you losers.”

“I think I might go to bed.” Cap groaned.

“Me too.” Thomas agreed.

The pair gingerly stood up and Cap glanced at his watch. “Good lord it’s almost 10. We should all really start to get to bed. It wouldn't do to keep making so much noise at nighttime.”

“Fine, I’ll get everyone ready.” Thomas sighed and strode past Cap. “Come on, everyone. It’s time for bed. Clear up your things otherwise Dante will wee on them.”

“Yes, because he won’t be weeing in my tent that’s for sure. Pack your stuff away.” Fanny shouted. “Come on, Dante.” Dante perked up for on where he was napping and Fanny walked him over to her tent.

After much kerfuffle, everything got stored away and everyone clambered into their tents. Julian still making a fuss about being in the tent on his own.

Cap and Adam settled into their tent and Cap zipped it up, blocking off any further interaction with the rest of the group.

“They are so loud sometimes.” Cap sighed.

“Yeah, but they’re fun. I love hanging around with them all.” Adam said.

“Absolutely I do too.” Cap said quickly. “But my god-“

Adam simply laughed and they got under their bedding.

“Ready?” Adam asked, hand over the lamp they had hung up.

“Ready.” Cap said and Adam turned the light off.

Daylight was only just creeping into existence when Cap woke up in the morning. The air inside the tent was remarkably warm. Very hot in fact. Murderously hot if you may.

Cap got out of the tent.

He took a gulp of the fresh air and shook his head, stretching and taking note of the morning. It had been raining, judging by how squelchy the ground was beneath his boots.

He must have slept right through it.

He vaguely wondered what time it was but instead of venturing back inside to get his watch or phone, he found it far more important to trudge to the toilets before anything else.

By the time he got back, Fanny was sat at the entrance of her tent, brushing her hair as Dante went sniffing around the grass.

“Stay out of the mud, Dante.” She said, not much of a heart in her voice, resigned to the fact that Dante would definitely go into the mud. Then she turned to Cap. “Nice sleep?”

“Like a log. You?”

“The rain kept me up all night.” She grumbled.

“I didn’t even realise it was.” Cap said.

“Lucky you.” She glared at him, before turning back to Dante. “Do you want some breakfast?”

Eventually everyone started to wake up and Cap gave Adam a kiss on the cheek as they all started to work on breakfast.

Julian came stomping over to him, grumbling and tutting as he did so. “I had an awful night.” He moaned at Cap. “It was cold, and it leaked.”

“Well, you did break the tent.” Cap said. “What did you expect?”

Everyone soon sat down and ate their breakfast, Julian complaining loudly to Margot and Robin instead. From the looks of this, this went on until Margot lifted a hand up and placed it in Julian's now very curly hair. That shut him up as he went scarpering off to presuably find his hat. Dante had already snarfed his breakfast and had instead proceeded to beg for everyone else’s food instead. Judging by how ravenous everyone was, he wasn’t getting much extras left.

I mean, he was still getting some, but probably not as much as he would like.

Once they were all finished and after milling, getting ready for the day Kitty clapped her hands and giggled. “Can we go down to the river now?”

Everyone muttered and grumbled but all eventually agreed to go down the river. Despite the couple of hours they had had to wake up, it seems that most of them were still exhausted. Was the rain really that bad last night?

“How did you sleep, last night?” Cap asked Adam.

“Perfectly.” He answered. “I think I vaguely woke up hearing some rain but it didn’t keep me up for long. How about you.”

“Like a log.” Cap repeated.

They all scrambled down the embankment to the stony shore of the river.

Cap glared at it, scrutinising it for a few moments before turning to everyone else and giving them a thumbs up. “It’s not too deep nor too fast, so it should be okay to go into.”

“I think if it was dangerous the campsite would bar it off, mate.” Pat said, fiddling with his glasses.

“That’s no harm in checking.” Cap said, though nobody seemed to be paying attention to him.

“Well, I’m going in. I’m ready, I have my flipflops on already.” Kitty said, and with that she stepped into the river. “It’s freezing. “ She called out, beaming wildly. The water barely coming up to the mid of her calves.

“That’s all that matters.” Pat said, grinning and following after her.

Soon most of the others went in too, laughing and screaming as they splashed around.

Fanny considered the water, Dante in her arms, before she turned to Cap. “Just how Dante deep would this be?” She asked.

“He might need to swim but it doesn’t look that fast flowing- Alison!” Cap shouted and Alison snapped around to look at him. “Stick your hand in the water and let me know how fast it is.”

Alison stuck her hand in before replying “it’s barely moving.”

Cap turned back to Fanny. “He’ll need to swim but he won’t be swept away.”

Fanny hummed and looked down at Dante. “I’m going in with him.” She finally concluded. “Come on, Dante.” She let him down and strode into the river after him, who had immediately taken off to the water.

Cap sat down on a rock by the waterside, basking in the sun, watching Dante run about and swim far enough away from Fanny that she went chasing after him, picked him up and plonked him back down in the shallows, only for him to go running off again to swim.

Cap watched as Margot tried to push Robin towards Julian, only to have Robin say something to her and shake his head.

He watched with a smile as Adam and Kitty splashed water on each other, both laughing as they did so.

Then Cap’s attention landed on a pair of beetles crawling next to him.

“Oh hello,” he said to the beetle. “Where are you off to?”

“... I’m going to get a drink?” Mike said suddenly. “... If that’s okay?”

Cap jumped as he realised Mike was stood next to him, pointing back up at the campsite. “I’m not talking to you.” Cap suddenly blurted out. “The- the beetle.”

“The Beatles? What, like Paul?”

“Pa-? No, not the Beatles! Beetles.” He pointed at the rockside besides him. “The rose chafers.”

Mike leant over to look at the beetles. “Oh yeah, beetles, not the Beatles.”

Cap hummed and turned his attention back to the beetles. “You can see they have that iridescent colour, they are quite similar to the royal chafer, though those are rarer. They’re usually found among the roses, hence their name, though these two seem to be quite away from the roses, you’re quite near to the water.”

“Should we move them or-?” Mike asked, but just as he did, the two beetles suddenly took off, flying away from view.

“Off to find some roses, I guess then.” Mike said, peering to see if he could still see them.

“Off for their breakfast, yes.” Cap muttered, staring out into the woods where they last disappeared.

“Right, I’m going to get a drink.” Mike said. “Do you want one or?”

“Oh, go on then, I’ll push the boat out.” Cap said. “I’ll have a caprisun, Pat has a bunch in a cooler in the minivan.”

The morning turned into the afternoon and after a lunch of sandwiches back at the campsite, Fanny announced she was taking Dante for a walk with his ball thrower, if anyone would like to come.

So, Fanny, Cap, Pat and Robin were wandering through the fields, Fanny launching Dante’s ball as far as she could, so the little pooch went running as fast as he could to catch it.

“Come on, Dante.”  Pat cheered whilst Robin was next to him clapping his hands excitedly. “Yay! You found it.” He finished as Dante came bounding over to them, ball in his mouth.

“Here.” Fanny said, holding the ball thrower out. “You can have a go if you like.”

“That’s alright, don’t need the thrower.” Robin said, grinning as Dante dropped the ball at their feet, looking up at them all expectedly. “Here.” He picked up the ball and Cap grimaced at the slight of the dog-slobber covered ball. Then Robin threw it high in the air and Dante went chasing after it. Robin wiped his hand on his jeans and grinned at them all.

Pretty soon Dante came bouncing back over to him, his head rhythmically popping over the grass as he came thundering back to them. He dropped the ball back on the floor by them again and Pat picked it up (with his hand) and threw it for him.

They carried on through the fields until Dante decided he had had enough. He dropped the ball at their feet and laid down on the grass, rolling over and panting. Pat picked up the ball and waved it in front of Dante. Though when Dante refused to get back up, Pat shook his head.

“I think he’s done for now.” He said. “Do you want to go back to camp and have a nap? I think you do. Shall we turn back, guys?”

“I think that’ll be best.” Fanny said. “Come on, Dante.” But Dante did not move, instead looking up at Fanny from his position lying on the ground. “I’m not carrying you, Dante.”

“That’s alright,” Robin said, bending down to scoop Dante up, who proceeded to settle down very quickly in Robin’s arms. “I’ve got him.”

Fanny huffed at Dante being carried but didn’t argue with Robin. They all turned back and made it back to the campsite eventually, the hemps of their trousers (and Fanny’s dress) wet from the long grass.

“There you go, Dante.” Robin said, letting Dante down, who immediately went and started to lap up water from his bowl.

The sky was starting to darken and together, Alison and Pat set up the grill in order to cook tea.

“What do we have?” Thomas asked, pestering both of them. “Is it something nice? Can I pick?”

“The food is making your own food, Thomas,” Alison snapped, waving a prong at him. “We’re just setting up the tools cause god knows you’d probably set yourself on fire.”

Thomas sniffed and looked away. “That was very harsh, you know.”

Thomas soon got over it.

There was a mad scramble for the food and pretty soon everyone had either made something, or convinced Alison to make something for then.

“Hey,” Pat said as they all settled down with their food. “Campfire, the sun’s going down. Why don’t we tell scary stories?”

“I can tell you the story of the time I thought I made a butterfly friend, but it turns out to be a wasp instead.” Kitty said before stopping, “oh no, I just spoiled the ending.”

“That’s alright.” Pat said. “I could tell you the story what happened to my cousin, true story it is. So, it started after school-”

“You’ve told us this before.” Fanny sighed. Dante was lying under her chair, already fast asleep.

“Have I?” Pat spluttered. “I haven’t, have I?”

“I’ve got a scary story for you all.” Robin announced. “Something which happened to me.”

“Was it growing  up with your brother?” Julian  asked, laughing slightly.

“Close second! I don’t think I’ve told this before.” Robin said. Everyone shuffled as they paid attention to him and started to eat. “So, I studied astrophysics at uni- well, studied German to learn what the professors were saying first. My housemate, Ramoena, from Spain, also couldn't speak German. So we learnt together. Also I couldn’t speak Spanish, she couldn’t speak Ukrainian or Russian and neither of us could speak English. So we spoke by pointing and a lotta ‘jas’ and ‘neins’-”

“Like the time I went to France,” Pat said. “Spent all my time just going ‘oui’ and ‘non’ and hoping they figured out what I needed.”

Robin nodded sagely. “Is difficult, yeah.”

“I didn’t know you went to a German University.” Cap said.

“No, Switzerland.” Robin said. “Bern. I went to Bern University. But anyway, we had to arrive a month earlier to learn. But we did, for the lessons. We both did astrophysics-”

“So you know four languages?” Alison suddenly interrupted. “Sorry, Robin, that just … surprised me, I didn’t think you’d know so many.”

Robin stared at her for a moment. “I also know French and Norwegian now, I’m also learning Spanish too.”

Alison raised her hands in an apology and Robin grunted, nodding his head.

“So ANYWAY,” Robin started again, with more force this time. “We studied astrophysics, I took a side quest- gig- course! In aeronautical engineering, I changed my name to Robin, but back to-”

“Is this suppose to be scary by you listing off bits for a spacecraft in alphabetical order?” Humphrey asked.

“Oh, will this just a tale of school book fees?” Fanny added on.

Robin glared at them both. “Okay, fast forward, we’re in Norway for a semester-”

“Is that where you learn Norwegian?” Kitty asked.

“No, I learnt Norwegian in Egypt.” Robin said, keeping his face extremely still.

Kitty gasped and Robin just rolled his eyes and trudged on. “Anyway! We’re in Norway, we study in Oslo for a bit before going up to Svalbard, where we were going to work at an observatory. So, we leave Longyearbyen with snow mobile, cause it's February in the Arctic Circle and we’re on our way up, with our guide, nice guy, called Anders. You can’t go anywhere without a guide up there.” Then he leant forward, the flames of the fire illuminating his face in an eerie sight. He grinned, eyes flickering between each of them. “It was dark. 24 hour night time, though it was late morning. And cold. Freezing. Snow all over the joint. The observatory isn’t far away from town, just half hour ride. But our snow mobile broke down. We had tried to fix it, but then we heard. A roar.”

Oh no. Cap could guess where this was going. He’d never quite found where Robin’s scars came from.

Cap could see Julian shuffle next to Robin, the flicker of the fire revealing his face fallen into a look of distress.

The others, from what Cap could see, were frowning and staring at Robin with a deep intensity.

“But it was very dark.” Robin continued to talk. “The torches were powerful, but not that powerful. You just saw a flash of white, the disturbance of snow.” Robin’s voice started to become distant, his face dropped and his eyes turned to the depths of the fire as he spoke. “Hear the panting growls of the beast, its bounding leaps thundering the ground. Knowing the torch can’t show you everything. It was so dark, in the deep cold. It was circling us. Coming closer and closer and closer-”

Cap caught sight of Thomas’ eyes, a flash of understanding passing between them at what was happening. Best get Robin out of this depth sharpish.

“What happened then?” Thomas said loudly, enough to make Robin jump out of his gaze into the fire. “You’ve set the mood, but are you actually going to tell us what happened?”

“Pfff,” Robin waved his hand, a grin reappearing on his face. “I’m sure you can guess. Anders took his bear-defence-gun out and tried to shoot it off. But before he could- whope!” His hand came shooting out, imitating a swiping motion over the fire. The breeze from his hand caused it to jump and flicker. “A big furry paw came hitting him out of nowhere, knocking him to the ground. So naturally, I did only thing I could.”

“Ask it to leave you alone?” Kitty asked in a gasping breath.

“Please tell me you ran away.” Julian said, a note of desperation in his voice.

“Julian, would I do that?” Robin asked rather cheerfully, leaning into his side.

“No…” Julian sighed, and Cap saw his hand grip hold of Robin’s wrist.

“No. I didn’t.” Robin said. “I told Rameona to hide and started jumping up and down, shouting until polar bear forgot Anders and come charging at me instead.”

A flurry of gasps and murmurs went through the group. Cap placed a hand over his mouth and lent forward. Robin’s face was in a smile but it seemed rather frozen on his face.

“The force of the impact sent me flying. The pain of its claws ripping over my back…” Robin paused, returning to stare at the fire. “Was indescribable. I couldn’t even scream. I- I lost consciousness quickly. I heard a bang and it all went dark.”

“Did you live?” Kitty asked, nearly on the verge of tears.

Robin shook his head. “No.” He said as sincerely as he could muster, keeping his face as still as he could. “They had to bury me in the ice.”

“Oh no.” Kitty sobbed, placing her face in her hands. Thomas awkwardly patted her back.

“Anyway-” Robin continued, placing his hand on top of Julian’s, who had both gripping Robin in some sort of death squeeze. “A single strike from polar bear is enough to kill a person, it’s insane both of us survived.”

“How did you survive?” Cap asked.

“Ramoena.” Robin said. “She told me afterwards. She got Anders’ gun and just started shooting into the air to try and scare it off. And it worked. It ran off and she radioed for help then just guarded me and Anders until help came. I woke up about a week later in Hammerfest- Northern Norway- totally disorientated and in pain but alive. After I healed, I was sent back to Kyiv and got horribly babied by my parents. Then I escaped back to Bern to finish uni. Rameona stayed with me, even after she finished her uni. She went into teaching but after I finished and got my doctorate, got a job at ESA, lived in Paris for a bit, that’s actually where I learnt English, then Dublin for a bit, and they sent me here. For now, at least. Also I got these cool scars which don’t really bother me anymore.” He pointed at his back as he said that last part, grinning wildly at them all. “Anyway, now you know the most traumatic thing that’s happened in my life. So far at least.”

Everyone was silent for a moment after Robin finished.

“You’ve never told me that before.” Julian eventually broke the silence.

“It’s not something I like to think of too much.” Robin said. “Sorry, Julian.”

Julian, in response, dropped his head onto Robin’s shoulder, taking hold of Margot’s hand in one of his and gripping Robin’s wrist with his other, seemingly as tight as possible.

“Hang on,” Pat said. “Doctorate?”

“Yeah,” Robin grinned. “I’m officially Doctor Robin.”

“Good lord.” Cap muttered.

“What do you means, here for now at least?” Mary asked suddenly.  “You’re not be leavings, will you?”

“Huh?” Robin tilted his head as everyone suddenly went into a flurry of natter, practically shouting at him at the remark. Even Cap found himself spluttering his protests.

“Guys, guys, I’m not going anywhere. ESA can’t force me to move to a different country.” Robin tried, though it didn’t seem to calm anyone down. “Ugh, knew I should have stayed in Switzerland and became a goat herder. Hey, if you guys wanna hear an even scarier story, it’s about the time last year I went to go get my visa extended-”

Eventually the group wore themselves out and, after much assurance from Robin that he wasn’t going anywhere (unless the government kicked him out), they all decided to call it a night and hit the hay.

As Cap was clambering into his tent after Adam, he heard Julian remark to Margot, as he got into the broken tent, “I had a perfect night in this tent last night, and I’ll have another one tonight.” Cap wasn’t sure what Margot’s reply was, but she soon turned and instead reentered Robin’s tent like last night.

Cap sighed and collapsed onto the airbed.

“That was traumatic.” Adam sighed.

Cap hummed. “At least we know why he doesn’t like bears now.” Was the only thing he could say.

Adam shook next to Cap and suddenly appeared over Cap. He smiled and lent down to kiss Cap. Then again and again and again.

Cap let out a quiet breath and blushed. “We’re in a pretty public place.”

“We’re in a tent, our tent. And it’s bedtime for everyone.” Adam said.

Cap grinned slightly, reaching up to gently lay a hand on Adam’s face. “Yes, you’re quite right.” 

Some several hours later, Cap was woken with a start. It took him a good long moment to realise what it was that woke him.

It was Kitty.

“Cap. Cap. Cap.” She was saying in a quiet hiss. “Are you awake?”

“I am now.” Cap muttered, trying not to wake Adam and he sat up. Fortunately he had put his pyjamas back on afterwards, to fend off the cold.  “What is it?”

“I need to go to the toilet.” Kitty said. “It’s very dark.”

“It is dark, yeah.” Cap muttered, blinking sleep out of his eyes.

“I mean it’s really, really dark, and I can’t really see out here.” Kitty continued.

“Do you… want me to walk you over?” Cap asked, hesitant at what the answer would be.

“Oh would you? That’d be a great idea.” Kitty practically sang. “Come on, let’s go.”

Cap waved a hand and pulled his boots on and picked up his torch.

“Whas up?” Adam’s voice came suddenly.

“Shh, go back to sleep.” Cap hushed. “It’s just a trip to the loo.”

“Don’t trip up.” Adam murmured, already slipping back into sleep.

“We won’t.” Cap said. Then he got out of his tent and turned the torch on, motioning for Kitty to start moving.

“I was having such a nice dream,” Kitty was saying in a low voice as they walked. “There was a giraffe and she was giving me a lift, and I was throwing a stick for Dante and there were rainbows everywhere, but then we walked by a waterfall and, well, here we are.”

Cap, for his part, was going “hmm,” every now and then as she spoke.

It didn’t take long for them to reach the toilets and finish up there, before turning back around and trudging back through the dark to their tents again.

Kitty continued to talk about what she’d like her next dream to be right up until they walked into something.

They both leapt back and gasped, hearing another exclamation from the thing- person they just walked into.

Cap shon his torch to reveal Julian stood there, in the middle of the tents.

He immediately covered his eyes from the torchlight and hissed. “Take that off me, what are you tryna do, blind me?”

“What are you doing wandering about in the dark?” Cap asked, pointing his torch at the ground.

“Well, if you must know, I’m changing tents.”

Cap quickly shone his torch onto Julian’s, which still seemed to be standing. Not that Cap would want to spend a night inside the sorry excuse for a structure but it was still upright at least.

“Are you going into Robin’s?” Kitty suddenly asked.

“Yeah, where else do you think I’d go?” Julian said.

Kitty giggled slightly. “Nowhere else, cause he is your boyfriend, isn’t he.”

Cap’s eyes went wide and he stared at the ground. Was it here, in some random field at 2am, that the boat was being rocked?

“What?” Julian exclaimed, somewhat louder than he should. “Don’t be ridiculous, Kitty. Robin’s not my boyfriend, where did you get a notion like that from?”

“The way you two are around each other.” Kitty said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I just assumed you were by now. Aren’t you?”

“No.” Julian all but screeched. “He doesn’t like people like that.”

Kitty sighed, before making her way back to her tent. “Sure, right. You tell yourself that. If you’re not already dating, you should tell Robin. then.” She said as a final remark before disappearing into her tent.

“What the hell does she mean?” Julian said, putting his hands on his hips. “We’re not dating, tell him what? What does she think, that I have a crush on him or something? What does she mean by “by now”?”

“Oh Julian,” Cap said softly, though Julian wagged a finger in his face.

“You’ve thought the same before, you’ve told me so. That is what you meant when you said he was special to me! Well, I’ll tell you again what I said before, I don’t have a crush on him and we’re not dating.” Julian ranted.

“You’re getting awfully defensive about this.” Cap said.

“You’re getting defensive!” Julian snapped then waved his hands about. “If- if- if I am, it’s just beca- because-  I… I- I- I don’t want Robin getting un- uncomfortable if people think that. You know he doesn’t like people like that. If people think he does, t-that’s just him being friendly. His actions are completely just friendly, and nowhere near any sort of dating scene. I have to defend him w-when people misinterpret and misrepresent him. Yeah, that’s all. Oh,  a-and- and- I d-don’t li-like him- li-like that, so I have to defend myself too.” He stammered.

Cap sighed and rubbed his head with his free hand. “Okay, Julian. I’m going to go back to bed. Try not to wake Margot and Robin going too.”

“Don’t worry, I absolutely won’t wake my girlfriend and best friend-” he motioned with his hands as to indicate two different categories.

“Okay.” Cap said. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

Cap stalked back to his tent and found that Adam was still awake.

“What was that?” He asked, as Cap got back into the bedding.

“A Julian Revelation turned into a Julian Backfire.” Cap muttered.

“Ah.” Adam wrapped his arms around Cap. “Here, you’re all cold.”

“I love you.” Cap said, shuffling further into Adam.

“Love you too.”

Cap once again woke up absolutely scorching. He lay next to Adam who was still fast asleep next to him, listening to his steady breathing as he fully woke up. Once the stuffy heat became unbearable, Cap gently eased his way out of the tent and out into the open air, taking a gulp of the sweetness. The sun was rising and a gentle breeze swayed the bushes.

Dante came trotting up to him and stretched before him, before turning in a circle and staring up at Cap until Cap lent down and petted him on the head.

“A fine morning,” Fanny said, standing by her tent to watch Dante. “Though I’d be very happy by the time we get home.”

Cap hummed in agreement. “It has been a long weekend, yes.”

“Oh, to sleep in my bed again. Dante, with his special pillow.” Fanny sighed. “With a roof, not a windy sheet.”

“I quite enjoyed being out in the tent. Reminded me of sleeping out in the field.” Cap patted Dante on the head one more time and stood up straight. “It took me months to be able to sleep on a proper bed when I returned.”

“Well don’t get used to sleeping in a tent again. We don’t want to be doing this all the time.” Fanny said.

“That was well fun, Fanny.” Came Pat’s voice and Cap glanced over to see him making some porridge next to some of their seats. “We should do this again sometime.”

“Yes, we should.” Kitty suddenly gasped sticking her head out of her tent, just as Fanny snapped “absolutely not.”

“It’s about 8:30, Cap.” Pat said. “You might want to start waking everyone up, we have to get ready and be off by 11. Porridge for some, eggs and bacon for others, whatever they want.”

Cap nodded and went back into his tent.

“Adam, time to wake up.” Cap said softly, shaking him slightly.

“Hmm?” Adam blinked awake and smiled at Cap. “Good morning.”

“Good morning.” Cap smiled back at him and lent down to kiss him.

Adam sighed and then suddenly went “it’s so damn hot in here.”

“I know.” Cap opened the flap to the tent. “Pat’s making breakfast, the air is nice outside.”

“I do like nice air.” Adam got up and made his way out of the tent, Cap trailing after him.

“I’ll go wake the others up.” Cap muttered, and wandered off into the circle of tents.

He found Mary already awake and packing her bedding away as tightly as she could. She would be out for breakfast as soon as she’s defeated this, she assured him.

He found Margot already awake, rubbing her eyes and peering at Cap. Both Julian and Robin were still asleep, curled together. Huh, Julian was in the middle.

“He said he wouldn’t wake you. Did he?” Cap asked.

“Yes he did.” Margot grumbled before violently shaking Julian’s shoulder. “Wake up!”

Julian cried out as he awoke with a start and Cap left them to it, confident a tired Margot would inflict the same tiredness onto Julian.

Thomas was still fast asleep when Cap made it to his tent.

“Thorne.” He called out. “Thorne, wake up.”

Thomas did not wake up.

“Thorne!” Cap shouted as loud as he could.

Thomas jerked awake and gasped as he shot upright. “What izzit?” He cried.

“Morning.” Cap stated. “Now come on, we need to have breakfast and tear this place down.” And with that Cap left the tent, going over to Alison and Mike’s, who were also both asleep.

“Alison.” Cap called. “Alison. Alison. Alison!”

Alison groaned and placed her hand over her eyes. “What?”

“Huh? What?” Mike muttered at Alison.

“Cap…” Alison said. “What?”

“It’s morning. Come on, wake up. Pat is making breakfast.”

“What breakfast?” Mike asked.

“It’s a choice, porridge or eggs and bacon, though you might want to be fast.” Cap said.

“On it!” Mike hurried out of the tent and was off like a bolt towards Pat.

Alison simply groaned and rolled back over again. “I’ll be there in a minute.” She said.

Cap nodded and returned back to the breakfast area, where everyone had gathered and were fighting for food.

“Just porridge for me, thank you.” Cap said.

“No eggs, no bacon? What are you on about?” Pat blurted out.

“You made the porridge!” Cap cried.

“Yeah, as leftovers for anyone who didn’t get the actual breakfast.” Pat huffed, but still spooned porridge into a bowl for Cap.

Everyone fell into silence as they ate their breakfast, Dante running around everyone begging for food. Fanny kept picking him up and placing him in front of his bowl of food she had put out for him, but he instead fixated on the human food instead.

Then, when they had all finished eating and were considering packing up all their tents, did Humphrey come wandering over, yawning. “Morning everyone,” he said. “What’s going on for breakfast?”

Ah, Cap may have forgotten to make sure Humphrey was up.

Cap scraped together a bowl of porridge from the end of the pot and hurriedly poured Humphrey a cup of coffee.

Everyone started to pack their tents away. Cap and Adam managed to pack theirs away quickly, Cap ensuring that everything was tightly secured and accounted for. Kitty needed some help with packing hers away. As did Thomas. And Fanny.

“Am I just taking everyone’s down?” Cap grumbled as he shoved Fanny’s tent away into it’s bag.

“You can do mine for me, Cap.” Julian said, grinning at him.

“Pack your own tent, Julian.” Cap growled.

Julian elbowed him and grinned again. “A funny thing that happened last night. Really silly wasn’t it.” He grinned again but as Cap stared at him Julian sighed and rolled his eyes. “Alright, fine. If you got insulted by anything I said last night, I don’t know what it was so be frosty until you wanna chat.” Then he turned his attention back to his tent. “I might just throw this, you know.”

Oh Julian. Cap rolled his eyes and lent to Julian. “I feel that Margot is going to make you pay for the tent, you know.”

Julian pulled a face and turned to Cap. “Hey, buddy, my friend, my pal, my mate-”

They were all soon packed up into the minivan and ready to go.

Cap informed the staff at the site they were leaving and they were off, back into the city.

Margot had fallen back asleep, resting her head on Julian’s shoulder whilst he was chatting with Robin, Robin’s leg draped over one of his. Occasionally a frown would pass over his face as his eyes flickered to their legs and back to Robin. Cap stared at Julian. He argued quite a lot last night, about his feelings for Robin. But what was that saying? About doth protesting too much? Cap figured he’d text Margot the whole case later one.

Kitty meanwhile, had Dante on her knee, tickling his face, Fanny sat next to her, carefully watching her play with him.

“Would you like to go get a coffee?” Adam asked, “when we get back? Coffee and a movie?”

Cap nodded and nuzzled Adam’s head. “I’d like that. It’s been a very long weekend.”