Chapter Text
Posted by Kaer Morhen on PicturePlace, April 15th 1588
Image description: A very old man with a scarred face is standing in front of a row of beehives. He has a hand raised and is looking at it with a smile. He is wearing a knitted sweater, patterned in grays and black, dark pants, and wellie boots that are bright yellow but mostly covered in mud. A silver witcher medallion hangs around his neck, but he carries no visible weapons.
Text: My name is Vesemir. I will be taking over the Kaer Morhen account for the foreseeable future, while Hemminks is busy with other projects. Barmin is currently informing the bees of this change. None of them have attempted to sting me thus far, which I am taking as tacit approval.
201 Likes, 87 Comments
Top comments:
Kaer Morhen: No, the person in the picture is Barmin, not me.
Proud_Half-Elf77: Save the bees! 🐝
xX.witcherfan.Xx: will you post pics of monsters you butchered?
KnottyKnitter: Tell Barmin to tell the bees that his sweater is super cute
Zuzanna Zucchini: oh THANK YOU the last guy who had the account was the most boring photographer ever. like the view from the castle wall or whatever was nice once or twice but i don’t think he EVER posted anything else. i would have unfollowed soon and i really don’t want to, because a wolf witcher saved my brother’s life once and it seems ungrateful
Dyn Marv: Good to see old Barmin still ticking
Funny Nerd Memes: the bees have spoken!! 🐝
***
Posted by Kaer Morhen on PicturePlace, April 19th 1588
Image description: Dynamic mid-fight photo of two witchers clashing swords. The one facing the camera has long, white hair, pale skin and golden eyes. He looks serious but not angry. He wears traditional black witcher armor and a silver medallion. The one who is facing away has shorter, dark brown hair. They wear an armored shirt in red and brown and dark brown pants. We cannot see their face, or their medallion.
Text: It’s important to keep your skills sharp. All witchers who go out on the Path make sure to train regularly. As one of the fencing instructors at Kaer Morhen, I suppervice many sparring sessions between adult wolves to make sure they are neither slacking off nor bringing pettiness or prank wars into training. It is a joy to see how far they have come from the small children I first met, but sometimes they act like very little has changed when it comes to questions like “who started it”
256 Likes, 104 Comments
Top comments:
Lambert_Wolf: 1. haven’t you ever had fun old man? 2. it’s eskel and geralt. not like they ever get up to anything actually bad 3. you cheating cheater, using an old picture!
Lambert_Wolf: of course i fucking know it’s an old picture, i can look out the damn practice yard and see that eskel isn’t there. and also NOT IN KAER MORHEN. and don’t even start with the fucking nagging, it isn’t a security thing if i don’t say where esk actually is
Mother of 5: Are you a parent or a teacher? Because that sounds a lot like what a parent does to me. Minus the swords, much to my children’s eternal disappointment
HotnessAlerter: WOW the one with the white hair could fight me ANYTIME 😍
Zuzanna Zucchini: sounds like normal sibling behavior to me!
Jaskier the Bard: This is such a great photo, right in the middle of the action! I can just HEAR the swords hitting each other! Of course, I’ve heard it for real, but this really captures it beautifully. The strength, the determination! If they had only agreed I would have written a thousand songs just to have them sparring in the music videos… At least the world will get to enjoy Geralt’s pretty face on TV soon #secretprojectsoontoberevealed
Craftarian: do i want to know how badly prank wars get out of hand when the warriors are actual, pretty much unkillable warriors??
Alicja Troyden: But who DID start it?
***
Posted by Kaer Morhen on PicturePlace, April 21st 1588
Image description: A slightly tilted view of a dark brown tabletop, mostly covered in craft supplies. Paper in various colors, sometimes cut into flower shapes. Tools like scissors, crayons, and glue sticks. The scissors are fit for small hands, but not safety-scissors or especially colorful.
Text: Belleteyn is over a week away, but try telling that to the younger trainees. They are already making garlands out of paper flowers. Some of the new arrivals who are old enough to understand holidays asked about bonfires. Explaining that we only light pyres in Kaer Morhen for funeral rites is always an uncomfortable conversation.
111 Likes, 320 Comments
Top comments:
Dyn Marv: We take those of our kits who want to go to a local bonfire. It’s not a witcher tradition, but it’s part of where they came from, and the world they’ll still be living in and defending. You would be welcome to send some of your puppies with us if you like. We already have more chaperones than we really need to keep the kids safe, so if you don’t have any adults who would enjoy it rather than be reminded of the pyres, you wouldn’t need to provide extra guards.
Kaer Morhen: @Dyn Marv We will discuss it.
xX.witcherfan.Xx: just stick a monster in the fire and grill it up, you’d follow tradition better than the humans
Tobias the Hoffman: Hard to imagine beastie baiters were ever kids
Zuzanna Zucchini: melitele's stinking armpit, how insensitive can some people be?? it makes me ashamed to be human
Lambert_Wolf: way to get maudlin old man
Drowner Inside: Thank you for not showing the children online. So many people plaster their kids faces all over the internet like that isn’t a massive violation of their privacy! Children are people too!
Craftarian: i notice the lack of glitter. seems even witchers knows what kind of monster they don’t want to tangle with
***
Posted by Kaer Morhen on PicturePlace, April 25th 1588
Image description: A man sitting by a desk, slightly bent over a pile of papers, which he frowns at. The man has dark hair streaked with gray, and a large mustache. He wears a black, lace-up shirt and a silver medallion. He’s holding an old-fashioned quill pen in his left hand.
Text: Grandmaster Rennes is a wise witcher, and a capable school head. He has embraced modern technology in many ways, for his school if not for himself. A witcher that cannot change with the times is not a witcher that grows old. But of all the comfortable, older things he still prefers, I struggle to understand the quills the most. Why choose a pen that you have to continually re-dip with ink that needs time to dry? Especially when he, like myself, is left-handed.
85 Likes, 42 Comments
Top comments:
Kaer Morhen: I am aware that there are techniques to using a quill. When I learned to write in the 1270s they were one of the main pens we had. I have since moved on to other options.
Time to Bloom: Lefties unite!
Zuzanna Zucchini: for the Aesthetic™
Manfreddie of Mahakam: Dude, I’ve seen the butt ugly thing that calls itself your school’s website, that’s not embracing modern times
Jaskier the Bard: I wish i could write with a quill! It looks so beautiful, like that’s what writing is SUPPOSED to be like! I’ve only tried it once and spilled ink absolutely everywhere, but perhaps it’s time to give it another go 🤔🪶
xX.witcherfan.Xx: boooring, nobody cares about old pens, tell us about slaughtering monsters!
***
Posted by Kaer Morhen on PicturePlace, April 30th 1588
Image description: A meadow at dusk. People are spread out on picnic blankets and in the grass, sitting or lying down. Many are wearing flower crowns or holding tankards. There are no fires or electrical lights, but fist-sized balls of golden lights hang over some of the blankets. The silver of witcher medallions can be seen gleaming around many necks, but not all. In the foreground a brown–haired human that looks half-asleep leans on the shoulder of a white-haired witcher, who is smiling down at him. There are swords and other weapons on the blankets. All visible faces look relaxed and happy.
Text: The Wolf School wishes you a joyous Belleteyn, and a summer that is sweet and long. May your days bring you plenty, and no danger disturb your nights.
337 Likes, 116 Comments
Top comments:
Lambert_Wolf: you going soft in your old age?
Kaer Morhen: And a special greeting to those among our ranks who could not join the celebration this year. Be it because they were occupied with hunts or other vital duties, or because they decided to spend the evening with partners instead, as young Lambert did.
Dyn Marv: Ah, to be young again!
Lambert_Wolf: fuck you both! i’m almost a 100
Clovis of the Wolves: #littlebabylambert
Zuzanna Zucchini: looks like a fun party! i’m stuck with drunk relatives. my weird uncle is going on about elves again. i’d much rather have a picnic with actual cool people
Mother of 5: Happy Belleteyn to you as well! And to everyone in the comments, especially those of you who have no one to celebrate with ❤️
xX.witcherfan.Xx.: you getting laid #littlebabylambert?
Jaskier the Bard: Thank you again for inviting me to the celebration, I had such a wonderful time last night!