Chapter Text
After dunking his head in a sink full of cold water (he blatantly refused to strip and use their shower with that stupid Comic hanging around), Razz headed down the hallway. He stepped into Sans’ bedroom, immediately hit with the smell of greasy food and worn sockets. Stars this was disgusting! How could anyone live like this?! Even Slim’s room never got this bad! Then again Razz was always hounding him to keep food and dirty laundry to a minimum when they lived together, but still!
“You ready yet pal?” Razz could hear Sans shouting snarkily from downstairs. With a growl Razz slammed the door shut behind him, making his way to the bed and seeing a short sleeve shirt and stained black workout shorts laid out for him. The shirt said “Bone Me” in obnoxious bright letters across the front, not to mention the ketchup stain under the M. There was no way in hell Razz would put either of those on. He'd search the closet for an alternative. Opening the sliding door Razz was greeted with a row of white t-shirts, most likely hung up by Papyrus at some point. Hurriedly the skeleton flipped through them, eventually coming across a charcoal gray t-shirt that looked brand new. There was also a skull and crossbones on the front, and no puns to be seen! He also found a pair of jeans with the tags still attached, most likely a recent purchase after coming to the surface. Excellent! He'd show that lazy asshole a thing or two with this outfit instead.
“Ya ready yet?” Sans snickered from the other side of the door. Razz pulled the clean cloths on and huffed, grabbing his ruined clothing and stepping towards the door. Swiftly he opened it, only to find a disappointed Sans with his cellphone recording the encounter.
“That's not the outfit I had picked for ya.” Sans sighed.
“Couldn't let you have TOO good of a morning now could I?” Razz grinned triumphantly.
“Oh come now, you've really been tickling my funny bone so far. It’d be a shame to stop now.”
“You will stop punning this instant!” Razz snarled already feeling his headache worsening.
“Would you two hurry up!” Papyrus shouted from downstairs. Growling at Sans’ stupid grin Razz stormed downstairs to find everyone dressed and ready to leave.
Even Doomfanger was prepared, having been put in a red harness matching Fell’s scarf. It had silver grommets the same color as the spikes in his collar, making him look comically dangerous in a strange way. The harness contained a good deal of his wild fur, making his chest area look far smaller than the rest of him. Though he still wasn't a small cat by any means, it became very obvious with the harness on how much of the cat’s visible bulk was actually fur. Not that it mattered to Doomfanger, as he was already scratching the front door ready to leave.
“Finally!” Undyne shouted in her gratingly painful voice.
“To the park then!” Papyrus announced as he kicked the door open and flooding the house with sunlight.
It was so bright and painful, making Razz’s bad headache explode into an even worse migraine. Stars he could feel that venomous breakfast bubbling up in his system! A fresh wave of nausea hit and he felt ready to vomit. Razz shut his sockets tight and hissed at the sunlight flooding the living room.
“Oh! Sorry about that Razz. I forgot how painful light can be with a hangover.” Papyrus said apologetically before jumping a bit with a new idea. “Fear not! For the Great Papyrus has the perfect solution!” He dug through his inventory and pulled out a pair of sunglasses, ones that he would normally wear with his “Cool Dude” crop top and shorts. He shoved the glasses on Razz’s face, giving him a second to adjust the fit.
“Is that a bit better?” Papyrus asked worriedly.
“... Surprisingly yes.” Razz commented while fixing the band holding them on. That was a solid idea on Papyrus’ part, not that he'd admit to it of course.
“EXCELLENT!” Razz winced at the increase in volume. “NOW to the park!” With that the monsters left, reaching the sidewalk and going several blocks until the streets became more crowded.
Doomfanger was at the end of his leash, leading the group of monsters to their destination. It was funny, how things here were similar enough to the Fell’s surface world that the cat could still navigate quite well. He stalked heavily, fur fluffed out as he glanced around his newest territory. All the humans seemed to steer clear of the monstrous looking feline, or perhaps they were more worried about the actually monsters walking it? Either way they cleared a path. Which was really saying something, seeing as the streets were extra crowded today. Did those large colourful trucks up ahead have something to do with it?
Suddenly a women with a big Rottweiler came into view. The dog perked up immediately after spotting the group of walking chew toys, pulling hard on his leash to claim his prize.
“Shouldn’t we do something?” Razz asked already summoning a weapon. He couldn't understand why everyone else was so calm right now.
“There is no need!” Papyrus announced. “I know this is your first walk with Doomfanger, but you'll find that he's rather… protective.” Razz raised a brow bone unsure what an eighteen pound cat would do against a towering behemoth like that, but perhaps watching Fell’s pet get ripped apart would be amusing. He crossed his arms and waited, watching the creatures as they neared each other. The dog didn't even make it ten feet before Doomfanger snapped into action. The felines hair suddenly stood on end, ears lowering as he bared his teeth. A guttural snarl escaped the cat’s throat and he swung at his target with sharpened claws. The dog lept back in fright, colliding with his owner and nearly topping her. The canine whined at the angry devil, tail tucked low as he tried running the opposite direction. He barely had to try, taking his hundred pound owner down easily in his desperation to escape. Within seconds of her being dragged off Doomfanger went back to his normal pissy self, looking at the humans around with an air of disinterest.
“Well that was… aggressive.” Razz commented. Stars even he had better self control then that, though he can honestly say he's wanted to do that to these stupid humans on more than one occasion.
“Dude, this cat is AWESOME!” Undyne howled throwing both her fists in the air. “I totally need a cat like this one!”
“B-but Undyne! Shouldn't we t-talk-”
“What's to talk about Alph? Do you not see this things fighting spirit!” She gestured towards the feline currently growling at a man that had stepped too close.
“I don't think Doomfanger is like most cats ‘Dyne.” Sans interjected. “It takes a special kind of animal to survive in the Fellverse Underground like this one did.”
“Which is why I'll hold trials to see which cat will be at my side!” Undyne roared back. “Then we shall be an unstoppable trio! Me, the kick ass cat and my adorable girlfriend!” She grinned at Alphy’s for her last statement, making the lizard blush bright red in embarrassment.
“Quiet down everyone! We are here!” Papyrus announced excitedly as they came across a large metal gate. It was the local Edott City Park, which happened to have a sizeable dog park near the entrance. There were two gated off areas, one a free roaming lawn for medium and large dogs, while the other was meant for small rat sized canines. It was also incredibly crowded today, no doubt due to the event across the street. All the monsters thankfully entered without trouble. The group continued on despite the various dogs showing extreme interest in the passing skeletons, but Doomfanger’s mere presence kept them all at a distance.
They eventually entered an area blocked off from the rest of the park by a shorter chain link fence. No other dogs or people were inside. Instead stood a ramp, a long curved tube thing plus what appeared to be several jumping obstacles.
“This is perfect! We shouldn't have to worry about any meddling canines in here.” Papyrus decided.
“So what's with all this stuff anyway? Is it some weak ass workout equipment or something?” Undyne inquired while playing with the pole on one of the hurdles.
“A-actually it's an agility course for dogs.” Alphys interjected. “I sometimes take Endogamy here to get some exercise. The other Dog Squad members like to use it too.”
Razz glanced around still sceptical of their safety. Honestly he didn't have to worry about himself but would his brother be alright…
No.
Slim would be fine, he can handle himself when needed, regardless of his lazy habits and being extremely out of shape. The others he didn't really care for, or know enough about to even try caring.
“We'll see how Doomfanger does on this course!” Papyrus chimed excitedly breaking Razz from his thoughts.
“He can what now?” Undyne asked eyeing the cat carefully.
“Run an agility course! As long as we follow Fell’s instructions that is.” Papyrus took the binder from his inventory and began flipping through it. Though Undyne seemed interested, the same could not be said for Sans.
“You kids have fun then. Imma watch from over there.” Sans motioned towards a nice shaded tree near the fence. “Ya wanna come Slim?” The tall skeleton gave a small nod while trying to hide his heavy breathing from their recent walk. The two made themselves comfortable, shortly followed by Alphys and the rapid tapping on her cellphone. Razz stood there awkwardly, still too pissed to try getting any closer to Comic. Actually, would standing here not interacting at all be breaking their deal? Stars he hated being blackmailed.
“So the cat can do agility courses?” Razz asked Papyrus skeptically looking at the black feline currently grooming his crotch. He honestly couldn't think of anything else to talk about.
“Indeed!” Papyrus chortled looking up from Fell’s binder. “Though I haven't tried leading him through a course yet, nor do we have a cat specific agility course. I imagine this dog one would do in its place though.” Razz continued to glance between the two but decided to stand back and watch. Surely the resulting mess this would cause could prove entertaining at least.
“First, it looks like I'll need to remove Doomfanger’s leash.” Papyrus leaned down and unbuckled the red strip from his harness. “Second, he needs to have his special stick toy.” The skeleton then grabbed a long plastic wand from his inventory, sporting a pink fuzzy thing at the end with several feathers. Doomfanger perked up immediately, tail flicking and ready to pounce.
“Almost ready Doomfanger!” Papyrus stated while rereading the next step. “Step three, place Doomfanger at the starting position, then use toy to lead him around the course.”
“That's all?” Undyne questioned.
“Looks like it. Let's see what happens!” Papyrus scooped the cat off the ground and set him near the first hurdle. The skeleton wiggled the toy a little above the first bar. In a flash Doomfanger was already over the jump with the toy in his mouth.
“SUCCESS! Did you see that brother?!” Papyrus turned to find Sans fast asleep against the tree trunk. Alphys was busy playing a game on her phone, while Slim sat between the two watching intently. He gave a thumbs up at Papyrus’ achievement.
“ALRIGHT!” Undyne shouted instead. “That was awesome! Do another!” Quickly Papyrus moved over to the ramp, leading Doomfanger closely behind. The cat followed instructions beautifully, already having cleared the tunnel and several more hurdles. “Your pretty good at this.” Undyne praised to Papyrus’ delight.
“As great as I am at cat training, I must confess Doomfanger is just as great in this regard as the Great Papyrus!” Doomfanger didn't seem moved by the compliment, instead waiting impatiently for the wand to twitch again.
There was a shout of pain, all parties turning towards the shade tree. Alphys was pushed on her side still trying to process what had happened. Sans was wide awake now with Slim sprawled on top of him. A large german shepherd was chomping hard on Slim’s arm, tugging at his limb possessively.
“Puppy!” Razz shouted rushing towards his injured brother. He swiftly grabbed the dog’s soul and tried yanking him off, only for the canine to stay latched on tightly. A sudden black blur whizzed past him, pouncing on the dogs face and digging its claws in with a loud snarl.
That did the trick, forcing the mutt to let go with an ear piercing yelp. In a flash Sans and Slim were ported several feet back.
“You okay?” Sans asked watching the fighting animals with his eyelight blazing. Slim gave a small nodd, though clearly more concerned with Doomfanger’s safety. In a few seconds the fight was over. The squealing hound ran back into the bushes, pushing its way through a hidden hole in the fence and sprinting out the other side. The angry feline wasn't far behind, followed still by an angry fish monster.
“Tiny-me! Are you alright?!” Papyrus rushed over trying to pull up Slim’s sleeve. “Sans that thing nearly killed you!”
“Yeah, but thankfully it didn't.” Sans said still a bit rattled. “Thanks for the save pal-”
“YOU MORON!” Razz interrupted, grabbing Slim roughly by the collar. “You didn't defend yourself at all! How could-”
“Can't use magic here.” Slim breathed. “S-sorry Master…” Razz looked at him completely baffled before understanding set in. Right, if they even tried fighting back in a public place they'd immediately be blamed for this whole mess.
“Find Doomfanger please.” Slim winced when Papyrus started fiddling with the new cracks. “He might get hurt.” Razz honestly couldn't see that cat being on the losing end of whatever he was dishing out right now, but it would probably be best to stop him before someone got maimed. Razz nodded and swiftly ran after the screams of terror. Stars this was already a disaster.
Meanwhile Alphys shakily stood upright. That was absolutely terrifying. Who knew the dogs up here could be so aggressive. Certainly the Dog Squad could do damage when needed, but that was only as a last resort. She supposed non-monster canines couldn't read situations as well though.
A sudden hiss from Slim made her freeze. Papyrus was using healing magic on Slims bloody arm, while Sans was standing menacingly watching for more danger. She had to help somehow, but what could she do? The Dog Squad often comes here in the mornings for daily jogs. Maybe they could help calm the frightened bystanders currently growing in number. Actually there was a whole mob of people running towards the exit now with children or pets in tow.
“Run for it!”
“There's a rabid animal on the loose!”
“Somebody call the police!”
The desperate screams from the crowd soon spread the fear like wildfire, causing even more people to run for the street.
Clumsily she ran from the fenced area. If the Dog Squad was here she'd need to get to the open field near the park center. That's only if the vicious snarls and fearful barks nearby hadn't alerted them first.
She didn't make it far before getting grabbed by her shirt. A fuzzy clawed hand was swiftly pulling her into nearby foliage. It was Dogressa and Dogomi looking rather fearful.
“Thank goodness we saved you!” Dogomi sighed with relief.
“There is a black demon outside. Must stay hidden.” Dogressa confirmed.
“B-but you trained to face much more difficult enemies then a housecat! You c-can't just give up and hide.” Alphys pleaded. The three peered out from their hiding bush in time to see three dogs running in terror followed by a snarling black cat. Razz was catching up though, and with a desperate leap managed to grab the feline as he hit the dirt.
Razz started cackling triumphantly at his prize. “Mwah hah! I have you now spawn of- GAH!”
Doomfanger wasn't having it, clawing up Razz’s face and forcing him to release. In no time the cat was off again, leaving a fuming skeleton behind cradling his stinging wounds. Worryingly Undyne was no longer following them.
“Nope.”
“We are fine here.” The Dogi nodded in agreement. With a sigh Alphys left the bush attempting to track the idiots down again. All too suddenly the people around her began running in an entirely new direction. This definitely couldn't be good.
“ALPHYS! I found the perfect cat for us!” Undyne posed triumphantly holding a huge creature above her head. Shakily Alphys turned to see the snarling slab of muscle.
“Undyne! T-that's a tiger! Where did you find THAT?!”
“Across the street, duh.” Alphys worriedly glanced behind her to see several large trucks with “Circus” written on the sides. A couple security guards and a muscular man with a whip were now rushing towards them.
“Stop thief!” One of the men shouted.
“If he wasn't up for adoption then why was his cage on display?!” Undyne snarled back copying the wriggling feline in her hands. The men tried to grab her but were stopped by the seven foot metal fence, being forced to fight their way towards the entrance. The tiger gave a powerful kick trying to get away, but Undyne blocked it easily with several spears and kneed it hard. “Be quiet and stop squirming! I'm doing a thing here!” The big cat whimpered slightly at her tone and tucked its tail between its legs. At least until the sounds of extremely frightened canines neared.
Doomfanger came back into view, chasing at least ten horrified dogs in their direction. A loud roar from the tiger made them all stop in their tracks.
“That's right Cheetoh! NGAAAAAHHHH!!!” Undyne roared back. The dogs were all trembling in place, Undyne and her stolen tiger on one side with an angry stalking Doomfanger on the other. The furious black cat had its fur standing on end as he stalked closer, eye wild and ready to rip into his prey. He lunged forward, only to collide with a hastily summoned purple bone wall. Razz dropped out of a nearby tree, finishing the bone cage and trapping the snarling feline inside.
“MWAH HAH! Take that you sorry excuse of a housecat!” Razz yelled triumphantly. His shirt was now sporting several grass stains as well as a few tears from his last encounter with Doomfanger, and he was determined not to make that mistake again. This time he kept a sizeable distance away from the cage. The dogs stayed in place. Still unsure if it was safe to run or not. A fresh snarl from Razz was the last prompt they needed, all dispersing in different directions.
“Excellent catch Razz!” Papyrus announced jogging over with leash in tow. The park was pretty much empty now with the exception of the monsters themselves.
“Yeah Razz, ya really let the dogs out with that one.” Sans appeared close by with a wink.
“Now is not the time Sans!” Papyrus huffed. A fresh wave of snarls from the bone cage made him jump. “Why is he so mad?!” The skeleton asked completely perplexed.
“It's alright kitty.” Slim said comfortingly from the other side of the cage. Miraculously that did the trick, instantly quieting the beast. “You can drop the cage now.” Slim requested next. Razz was hesitant to do so, but the sure expression on his brother's face made him relent. Slowly he dissipated the enclosure, allowed Slim to scoop up the now very tired feline. Police sirens could be heard off in the distance slowly getting louder as they neared the park.
“You guys might want to go.” Alphys whispered in Sans’ ear hole when the cops pulled in along with the circus people rushing towards them. “I don't think the police will let Doomfanger live if they catch him for that stunt.”
“Will you two be okay?” Sans asked in return, now seeing the cops leaving their cars and entering the park.
“... Yes?” Alphys answered sounding unsure. “Undyne is a c-cop. We’ll just explain the confusion, and hopefully pass all the c-chaos off on the tiger.” Sans nodded his understanding, turning to the others and directing them behind a bush.
“You heard the lady. Time to make our exit.” Sans grabbed onto Papyrus and Razz, taking a shortcut home. Slim sighed and took his own shortcut with Doomfanger held close. Stars how could things get any worse now?