Chapter Text
“Julian!”
“No.”
“Please!”
“No.”
“But this is your forte!”
“Don’t care.”
“At least do it for the group?”
“No.”
Pat sighed and addressed the class as a whole. “Okay guys, since Julian is unwilling to volunteer today, how about somebody else having a go, hm?”
The class went silent.
“Oh come on guys! If you feel stupid doing it, I’ll do the first one to demonstrate!” he encouraged.
“We don’t need a demonstation. We already know what to do.” Thomas groaned.
“Well then let’s get on with it!”
The class refused to move.
Pat exhaled deeply. The lesson of the day was drama, which sucked for Pat as none of the class seemed motivated to do anything, let alone move. They were all tired and cranky. Even Kitty, who would normally jump at the chance to do anything like this, was feeling particularly lazy. They’d obviously all had an exhausting day, which was strange because Pat was feeling unusually bright considering he’d had his head stuffed down a toilet.
He removed his glasses and rubbed his face, knowing he wasn’t getting anywhere like this. He had to wake them up.
“Okay guys, I’d like for you all to stand up please.” he said, pushing his glasses onto the bridge of his nose.
The class collectively grunted at him but complied, too tired to argue or question him.
Pat gave them a cheeky smile. “Now jump up and down on the spot, please.”
“What?” Julian asked with a frown.
“You heard. Jump up and down on the spot!”
Pat led by example and started jumping up and down on the spot. “It’s wakey-wakey time! Come on, guys!”
For the first few moments, the class just stared at him incredulously. Then Robin shrugged his shoulders and soon got to work jumping up and down in time with Pat. His actions made Mary and Kitty laugh and they joined in with his bouncing. Julian glanced over at Humphrey who just shrugged before copying the others. Julian rolled his eyes and slowly followed suit, urging the rest of them to do the same. Soon, the entire class were jumping up and down like muppets, making each other laugh at how ridiculous they looked.
Two minutes later, Pat landed for the final time and held his arms out, patting the air in a downwards motion. The group stopped bouncing and sat back down, their tiredness having worn off.
“Feeling better now?” Pat smiled.
“That was one of the strangest things I’ve ever done in a classroom.” laughed Humphrey, running a hand through his tussled locks.
“I’ve done worse.” Julian fired back with a smirk.
“So,” Pat cleared his throat, “Are we all ready to do our drama pieces now?”
“Yes, but the problem is, Patrick, is that some of the people we were working with in class aren’t here.” Fanny explained. “So without our pairs we can’t actually do anything. We’d have to make up something new.”
“Ah, um, yes. I did think about that, Fanny, and, um... I figured if your partner or partners are not in here already... we could make a new scene up... together?” he nervously put to them.
“Well what’s the point in that?” Julian snapped. “We’ve already rehearsed one scene. I don’t want to have to make up another.”
“I don’t mind doing another.” Kitty piped up, “Besides, I didn’t like the other scene I did. It was too boring. Florence didn’t want to do anything I suggested, so we ended up making a play about babies.”
“O-kay.” Pat broke the awkward silence that had befallen the others. “Right, so I was thinking we could pair up with others from our individual classes. So, erm, me, Humphrey and... Cap, would be working together, since we’re in top set...”
“Not a problem.” Humphrey said, relaxed as always.
“And I’d be with Julian, yes?” Fanny added. “Second set indeed.”
“This should be fun.” Julian smirked, giving Fanny a suggestive wiggle of his eyebrows, to which she gasped in disgust.
“So I’m with Thomas?” Kitty asked.
“Well Kitty, you are in the same class as him, so what do you think?” Fanny rolled her eyes.
“Are you okay with that, Thomas?”
“I suppose.”
“Then that just leaves Mary and Robin.” Pat turned to them.
Their eyes met, then both shyly turned away from one another.
“Is that all okay?” Pat asked. “I know it kind of overwrites what we actually did in class, but if we don’t do this then we’ll have nothing to do so I guess it’s sort of a team building activity?”
“Oh don’t.” Cap sniffed.
“He’s always got to make things cringeworthy, hasn’t he?” Julian rolled his eyes.
“I don’t like people.” Mary added. Robin nodded in agreement. “Or teams.”
“Oh come on, guys! Don’t be like that. Just try your best and get on with it, okay? If you need help, don’t hesitate to ask me!”
The class mumbled and set off to work in their pairs. Pat turned to his taller companions and pulled at his collar, pushing a smile on his face. “So, um, guys. What do you want to do?”
“I honestly don’t mind.” Humphrey replied.
“Cap?”
“I’d like my character to be a soldier. A fine soldier.”
“So I guess our play is going to be war themed then.” a little sigh escaped Pat’s lips.
“Not necessarily.” Humphrey grinned, “I’d like to be a Tudor, actually.”
It was Cap who looked up in surprise this time. “A Tudor?”
“Yeah! A fancy-schmancy Tudor. Would suit me, don’t you think?” he brushed himself down and posed royally, turning his head and giving the other two a sidewards glance. Pat couldn’t help but laugh at his antics and even Cap managed to crack a wry smile.
“A Tudor it is, then.”
“What about you, Patrick?” Cap turned to him.
Pat wasn’t expecting Cap to engage him in conversation after their previous encounter. “Uh... I don’t know. A... scoutmaster, maybe?”
“Patrick, that’s not historical.”
“Well neither is a soldier!”
“I’m a World War Two soldier.” Cap emphasized. Pat pouted.
“Maybe an English monarch?” Humphrey suggested. “One of the more famous ones, like what’s-his-name? Henry II? The one who had that church bloke killed by mistake because he had stupid knights.”
Pat blinked. Humphrey was really into his history.
“Or King Richard III?” Cap gave Pat a coy look.
“...Didn’t everybody hate him?”
“Yes.”
Pat gave him a tight smile. “Sounds perfect.”
Humphrey nodded in appreciation. “Awesome! So, my name’s going to be Alfred Avery, because it sounds cool and I’m loving the alliteration. I’m a Tudor who owns a cake shop.”
Pat and Cap stared at him bemusedly.
“And one day old Richard III comes into my bakery complaining that nobody likes him, and this soldier-“
“Er- George Havers.” Cap replied quickly.
“Same surname as William, alrighty - arrives and tells Richard he’s being arrested for war crimes against the monarchy, despite being the actual monarch, so is arrested and promptly dies. Then Havers dies and I’m left alone in my cake shop where I promptly die of dysentry.”
The two stared at him blankly.
After a few moments, Cap aired his puzzlement. “I’m sorry, what?”
“Um... oh?” came Pat’s equally confused response, still digesting his tirade.
“No?” Humphrey raised his eyebrows and shrugged it off. “That’s my play plot out of the question. Next!”
Pat and Cap stared at one another.
“Uh... maybe we should watch what the others are doing... for more inspiration?”
“Sounds good to me...” Cap replied, the pair turning towards the nearest couple, which happened to be Robin and Mary. Robin appeared to be dancing around Mary who was spinning and flapping her arms around, making ghost sounding noises.
“Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! I be the smoke of the devil’s sorcery and I come to enchant you reprobates and jezebels for your name-calling of my companion, the great Moonah of Stoneywall! How do you plead?”
“Plead guilty! Plead guilty!” Robin recited repetitively, dancing around her.
Pat and Cap then turned to Fanny and Julian. Fanny was sitting on the edge of a table as Julian leant back on the chair, pretending to be a detective.
“So, your highness, I ask you this - why were your lacy knickers found in the Captain’s bed?”
Fanny turned beet red, “That wasn’t in the script!”
“It is now, my peachy goodness. Wallop!” Julian dramatically pointed at her.
Pat and Cap grimaced and turned to the remaining pair. Thomas was draped across the teacher’s desk and Kitty was pretending to hold a fan to her face, giving him the glad eye.
“Oh Mr Percival, you’re too kind! Letting me have one of your signed books for free! How ever will I be able to pay you back?”
“Royalties, Miss Queensborough. Royalties.”
“You wish for me to be a Princess? Oh happy days!” she chimed.
Thomas knelt up towards her. “No, I’d like your money to start up my own business and- radio show.”
“Oh, I see! I thought you needed it for the goat.”
Pat and Cap slowly turned back to Humphrey.
“Yeah, your idea’s fine.”
~~~~~
A little later into the session, each group was hard at work perfecting their plays. The original brief given to them by their drama teacher, Miss Birch, was that they were to come up with a scene using at least one historical character, and they could be as creative as liked, within reason.
But the group had gone WAY over within reason at this point.
“Guys, settle down! Please!” Pat waved his arms around to gain everyone’s attention. “People, please! Robin, come down from there, it’s dangerous!”
“I AM THE GREAT MOONAH-“
“No you’re not!
“He’s method acting.” mused Mary, who was busy watching the scene unfold.
“Mary, he’s on the ceiling!”
Mary shrugged.
“Never mind Robin! Pat, get this imbecile away from me!” Fanny shrieked from across the room, trying to get away from Julian who was chasing her around a table.
Forgetting Robin for a moment, Pat hurried over to Fanny, where he saw that she was trying to escape Julian’s lecherous advances. His PRETEND lecherous advances. He plodded over to Julian and held his arms out to stop hik from reaching her. “Julian, leave her alone!”
“I only want to cop a feel-“ he teased, making some grabbing gestures with his hands. Fanny squealed and darted towards Cap and Humphrey. Julian shoved Pat to the side and followed her, laughing all the way. Winding up Fanny was too funny to him.
“Come here, Fanny!” he chuckled, reaching out to grab her. Fanny dove behind Cap and used him to shield her.
“Fanny, what is the meaning of this?” Cap questioned, trying to see what she was up to.
“Protect me from that creep!” she wailed, holding her hands on his shoulders.
“Fanny, Humphrey and I are trying to- Julian, get away from me!” Cap pushed the posh boy backwards.
“Julian! Stop being a pain!” Pat attempted to grab the taller teenager from behind, but was immediately shoved away. He fell onto the floor and rubbed his head. A hand came at him and he looked up to see Humphrey with a smile on his face. Taking his hand, Humphrey pulled the shorter lad back on his feet.
“You alright?” he asked.
“Be better once I get this lot back under control.” Pat smiled, looking at the chaos surrounding them.
“No,” Humphrey replied, in a more hushed voice, “I mean, how are you doing in general?” he glanced at Pat’s bruise.
The realization set in and Pat felt his face heating up. Was Humphrey really asking how he was?
“Oh! Uh, y-yes, thank you. Are you?”
“If you don’t mind me asking, how did it... happen?” Humphrey ignored the latter part of his question.
“I tripped into a door.” came Pat’s smooth response. “I didn’t really want to make a big thing of it because it’s really embarrassing, but yeah. I’m too clumsy for my own good.”
Humphrey seemed to believe his lie and relaxed a little, “Yeah, I know how that is.” He held a hand on Pat’s shoulder. “Come on, sport. I’ll help you sort this lot. You wanna take Julian, or Robin?”
Pat stared at both parties. Fanny was desperately clinging onto Cap and the stern teenager was trying to keep them both distant from Julian, who continued to make crude gestures at them. On the other side of class, Thomas and Kitty had now joined Mary as she watched Robin trying to circumnavigate the ceiling without falling off.
“You know what, I think I’ll take Robin.”
“Good good. Jules it is. I recommend using a broom.”
“So do I.” Pat giggled, making his way towards Robin.
A few swipes of the broom later and Robin went falling into the arms of Mary, who stared at her helpless companion with a glint of amusement in her eyes. Robin grinned bashfully at her and Kitty clapped her hands together, enjoying her friends’ obvious display of affection. Thomas rolled his eyes to disguise his envy.
After Humphrey had dispatched Julian, Pat brought the class back together. As he stared at them all, a feeling of hope and happiness sparked in his heart. Even though they’d spent the lesson messing around and giving a half-hearted attempt at rehearsing their scenes, Pat found himself smiling.
He felt... at home with them. Even Cap, who’d managed to lighten up a tad and not glare at him so much today was making him feel better. To top it all off, Humphrey, probably the coolest guy in the school, had actually asking him how he was! The only other person who ever did that was Mrs Alison!
His happiness soon melted away when he realized the time. Home time. It brought tomorrow daytime closer, which meant spending another day alone until he could meet up with his kooky lot once again. He actually felt scared by this attachment. It was a form of reliance, something he’d stopped believing in.
“Hey, Pat? You okay?” came the lull of Humphrey’s voice.
Pat shook himself out of his trance. “Fine thank you! Bet you’re all ready to leave now.”
“Not half.” Julian admitted.
Pat held his hands together, “Well, I think you did really well today. We all managed to apply teamwork and that’s basically the goal I set out for you to achieve in the first place, so well done! Teamwork really does make the team work!”
A few of his clubbies groaned at his perpetual optimism, yet couldn’t help but admire the cheery sod.
“Until tomorrow?”
“Until tomorrow!”