SwaggerStick
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“Long day?” asked Pat from the sofa.
The Captain groaned as he sat down. He could feel a headache coming on.
“Lie down, and I’ll give you a head massage,” Pat said, waggling his fingers.Prompt: Asexual sex-indifferent Pat
-Pat who doesn't mind sex but doesn't see what all the fuss is about
- Pat who'd really rather just be watching the football
-Pat who doesn't really get why sex is so important to the Captain
-OR Pat who does and enjoys making the Captain happy! -
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“So,” says Audrey. “The dance.”
“The dance,” echoes Addie, already slightly dreading the noise.
“Who do you think you’ll go with?”~~~ ><^> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ <^>< ~~~
Addie isn't sure what all the fuss is about. It's just a dance. Isn't it?
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Thomas had only seen one death before; he had been there when Lady Button had caught her rakish husband between his two burly servants, and he had watched as she was pushed from the window. An unpleasant way to go, but much faster than his own, he had thought at the time.
This felt like it was taking an age.
And then, just like that, it was over, and there was someone else with whom Thomas had to share his space.oOo
Thomas struggles to adapt to
lifedeath after the arrival of a new ghost. -
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Three days of R&R, after so long without. It felt like too much. It didn’t feel like enough.
The sun was shining above them, and it was a glorious day for the beach.
“Who’s up for a swim?”
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R&R: Military slang for rest and recuperation (or rest and relaxation, or rest and recreation, or rest and rehabilitation).
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"There's flour on the ceiling!"
They both looked up.
"So there is," said the Captain.
"It looks a bit like a Cambodian Clambake," said Julian.
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A couple of chaps cause problems for Alison and run away from the consequences.
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Spoilers for s20e06.
When the recording is over, Greg takes Alex back to his dressing room. That dress really doesn't hide anything.
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Bookmarked by SwaggerStick
25 Oct 2025
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A quiet dinner at the Horne's sees Greg trying to dodge a potential set-up with one of Rachel's newly single friends. Little does he know, there's a grander scheme afoot.
A Greg-centric pov fic in which an old man tries and fails to get some god damn sleep. It's not all bad.
Bookmarked by SwaggerStick
17 Oct 2025
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Not a Bad Beginning (By Far the Best Ending) by Vamillepudding
Fandoms: Taskmaster (UK TV) RPF, No More Jockeys (Web Series) RPF
17 Jul 2025
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Greg is getting irritated again. “I know I’m not one of Alex’s fifty closest friends, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care."
“Did he tell you that?” Tim asks. "That you’re not one of his five hundred closest friends or whatever?"
“I said fifty,” Greg says. “Now I’m thinking it’s five hundred and I feel even worse.”
*
Or: Tim has known Alex for two decades and knows him better than anyone, and still thinks he would rather die than hear Alex say something nice about him.
Greg has known Alex for almost one decade now, but he still sometimes feel like he doesn't know him at all.
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"A rebound. When people have just been dumped they'll hook up with someone they don't really care about to help get over the previous person. It makes them still feel wanted. And Pat's in his divorce era right now so he's allowed a bigger rebound."
Or: In a confusing turn of events, the Captain thinks he may well have become a rebound for one of his new friends, Pat, after his divorce.
Bookmarked by SwaggerStick
16 Mar 2025
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When Pat Butcher answers an ad for a spacious room in a modest house (£200pm, bills included?!), he’s not sure exactly what to expect. And then he arrives and the house is actually a mansion and the owner - the elusive and mysterious Captain - is more than a bit strange. He keeps odd hours, he talks to himself, he’s always a bit sickly, he never really eats much, and he’s always wearing that old uniform.
It makes no difference to Pat though; everyone's got their stuff and a house is a house after all. Maybe one day he’ll look back at this fondly as the beginning of an unlikely friendship.This is a comedy, I promise (except for when it's not).
Series
- Part 1 of the quick and the dead
Bookmarked by SwaggerStick
24 Feb 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
The quick and the dead, hounds_of_love
Vampire patcap