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[💬] Hi welcome to wendys - 7:12
[ONE]: i'm so tired
pristine-bean!!: aww, im sorry to hear that :(
nyaaah: bruh who even needs sleep nowadays (っ^▿^)💨
akuno-akuma: clearly not you
XinHua_pan: I'm prolly functioning off two hours right now haha
fuk.ass.69: sleep is irrelevant anyways
pikkun-utatune: as is most stuff in life nowadays
pikkun-utatune: i just sleep through most everything most of the time
[ONE]: jesus christ all i wanted to do was tell you guys how my sister was fucking her gf last night
[ONE]: i did not need to be reminded about how irrelevant life is
FL(OW)ER: but its true
akuno-akuma: wait-
akuno-akuma: your sister?? was fucking someone??
akuno-akuma: are you talking about ia???
Kagayours: tea time ☕
fuk.ass.69: wait
fuk.ass.69: wait wait wait wa i t
fuk.ass.69: isn't your sister fucking ia??? the queen of pianos??????
Kokoro<3: That implies ia fucks herself fukase
fuk.ass.69: incest is wincest
fuk.ass.69: oop i meant selfcest
fuk.ass.69: idk about u guys but id totally fuck myself that's how much i like myself </3
Kagayours: violently throws up HWAT
FL(OW)ER: fukase what the actual fuck
[ONE]: and you guys-
[ONE]: and you guys wonder why i don't associate myself with you
[ONE]: gods above i shouldn't have even mentioned being tired
pristine-bean!!: ones going through all five stages of grief at once lol
fuk.ass.69: sleep is meaningless anyways.
fuk.ass.69: we don't need anyone who actually sleeps in our gang
pristine-bean!!: you have a gang??? :0
pikkun-utatune: no
fuk.ass.69: soon
FL(OW)ER: the silence is killing me lmao
Kagayours: i can feel piko buffering lol
pikkun-utatune: fuka, how do you sleep at night?
[ONE]: change of subject; smart
Kagayours: he prolly sleeps with a gun under his pillow
fuk.ass.69: indeed. self defense is needed everywhere
pristine-bean!!: yeah!!
FL(OW)ER: i think piko means positions
FL(OW)ER: like- starfish or stick pole
Kagayours: the first thing i thought of when i saw stick pole was stick up your ass
zhiYEET: valid tbh
nyaaah: as if
nyaaah: you could never be valid ( ︶︿︶)_╭∩╮
Kagayours: i was confused for a second but then i started laughing so hard i think im hyperventalatngig hjdlp—
fuk.ass.69: ignoring len’s supposed death, i will answer your question about how i sleep
akuno-akuma: alone
fuk.ass.69: matcha can you kick her out
pristine-bean!!: matcha said no lmao
fuk.ass.69: ugh
fuk.ass.69: anyways.
fuk.ass.69: i sleep on my stomach. organs protected
Kokoro<3: I once read somewhere that sleeping on your stomach is bad for your health…,
fuk.ass.69: do i really look like the kind of person who gives a shit about helth
FL(OW)ER: given that you were set on fire in first grade i take it that you aren’t.
fuk.ass.69:
fuk.ass.69: i did not need to relive that trauma today
pikkun-utatune: he has ptsd
nyaaah: Σ(◉ ⌓ ◉) like std????
[ONE]: what the fuck
akuno-akuma: more like aid
nyaaah: Σ(’°△°` lll) like- like lemonaid???
pikkun-utatune: it’s spelled with “ade” iroha
nyaaah: what
zhiYEET: laughing so hard i cry
XinHua_pan: complete unrelated but i need to share something
XinHua_pan: my dog. is the warmest thing in the entire fucking world. she’s so hot- just like a hot watter bottle. i have an ice cold hand on her and you can feel the coldness evaporating as it rests atop her furry mound
Kokoro<3: I-
Kokoro<3: “furry mound”????
zhiYEET: laughing so hard i cry take 2
pristine-bean!!: same honestly lmaoo
pristine-bean!!: but matcha wants to know, and i quote,
pristine-bean!!: “why the hell did hua spell water with two t’s”
XinHua_pan: huh
XinHua_pan: SHDHDJJFKJJ I DID
fuk.ass.69: disgusting keyboard smash. allow me to show you the real way to smash a keyboard
fuk.ass.69: *pulls out a hammar*
akuno-akuma: *hammer
fuk.ass.69: SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU LURKR
akuno-akuma: No
FL(OW)ER: hahahaha imagine getting typo-checked by a antique collector
pikkun-utatune: couldn’t be me
pristine-bean!!: anyways, matcha said you should all get to class!! it starts in ten!!
fuk.ass.69: like i’d give a shit
XinHua_pan: OH SHIT
XinHua_pan: I SLEPT TO LATE I THOJGHT IT WAS ASATURDY
nyaaah: just channel your inner sonic as you sprint to school ε=ε=┌(; ̄◇ ̄)┘
XinHua_pan: OK SEE YUO GUYSA T SCHOOPL
[➡️] XinHua_pan is offline
FL(OW)ER: a quick moment of silence for my (dumbass) cousin
nyaaah: f (´༎ຶོρ༎ຶོ`)
pristine-bean!!: f!!
fuk.ass.69: f
pikkun-utatune: f
Kokoro<3: f
zhiYEET: f
zhiYEET: anyways
zhiYEET: i have an iq of fucking 200
zhiYEET: can someone tell me why i need to graduate high school
FL(OW)ER: so you can go to some low wage, sus job and flex a high school diploma. imagine how superior it would make you feel
akuno-akuma: i can see him doing that actually
[ONE]: yeah
[ONE]: but anyways
[ONE]: get to class before matcha mutes the chat
[➡️] Kagayours, nyaaah, pristine-bean!!, Kokoro<3 and FL(OW)ER are offline.
fuk.ass.69: some offline bean girl doesn’t scare me
zhiYEET: nah matcha is tea leaves def
fuk.ass.69: i was referring to her messager
akuno-akuma: *messenger
fuk.ass.69: aka her second body
fuk.ass.69: aka azuki
fuk.ass.69: aka secretly cul in disguise to monitor my every move
fuk.ass.69: aka secretly akkio in disguse as cul in disguise to monitor my every move
zhiYEET: this is u rn
zhiYEET:
fuk.ass.69: yeah tbh
fuk.ass.69: i can see that lmao
pikkun-utatune: we should really get to class fukase
pikkun-utatune: where the hell even are you
fuk.ass.69: like i’d tell you
akuno-akuma: under the stairs near the cafeteria
fuk.ass.69: BITCH
pikkun-utatune: thanks mayu
akuno-akuma: anything to make him suffer
fuk.ass.69: WHAT DID I EVEN DO TO YOU??
akuno-akuma: breathe. exist. perish from this plane of existence.
[➡️] akuno-akuma is offline
fuk.ass.69: ?? is she trying to scare me by coming for my dick irl
zhiYEET: maybe
[✅] Matcha is online
zhiYEET: OH SHIT
zhiYEET: u on ur own babe, im not messing with this bitch
[➡️] zhiYEET is offline
Matcha: Fukase get to class
fuk.ass.69: you’ll have to catch me first
Matcha: Fukase i will mute you
fuk.ass.69: a couple hours don’t bother me
Matcha: For 24 hours
fuk.ass.69:
fuk.ass.69: still dont scare me
Matcha: long sigh
[‼️] Matcha has muted fuk.ass.69 for 24 hours
[ONE]: change his username too
[⚙️] Matcha has changed “fuk.ass.69”’s nickname to “Fukase”
[ONE]: perfect
[ONE]: and don’t worry i’m already in class
Matcha: Never had any doubt that you weren’t
Matcha: See you after school in kendo
[ONE]: yup
[➡️ ] [ONE] and Matcha are offline
[💬] Hi welcome to wendys - 8:31