Chapter Text
On a dingy old raft in the middle Grand Line, Chopper and Nami were enjoying their respective glasses of Strawberry Vodka. It was hot that day, and the sun was beating down on their supple bodies. It was, perhaps, a little too hot.
On this point Nami decided to think about how they ended up here. How it all went…
...so wrong.
**2 weeks earlier**
It had been an ordinary day on the Thousand Sunny. Zoro was training, Usopp and Luffy were messing around, and Sanji was in the kitchen preparing snacks for everyone. Everything was as it should be.
Nami was enjoying some peaceful down-time out on the lawn. Her and Robin had been sitting in the deck chairs for the past hour- she hadn’t felt so relaxed in weeks! No pirates to fight, and clear steady waters as far as the eye could see.
Just as she was about to drift off to the sound of the ocean breeze she heard a loud CRASH from inside the ship.
Everyone on deck rushed inside to find the source of the sound.
“What the motherfuck was that?!?” exclaimed Robin.
Zoro shook his head in annoyance at the comment “shut up, bitch.” he snarled.
At that point, as the crew entered the galley, the source of the noise made itself apparent.
“Chopper?!” Nami shouted in dismay.
Everyone looked on in shock at Chopper as he lay in the center of the galley’s floor, covered in milk and surrounded by the mangled remains of Sanji’s corpse.
Everyone was silent, until Luffy’s joyous laughter started up.
“Shishishishishi! Chopper killed Sanji!” He exclaimed, tears of joy beginning to fall from his eyes as he rolled on the floor.
Nami was about to scold Chopper for his rude behaviour (and the murder of Sanji) until she felt a firm hand grasp her behind.
She turned to around to knock some sense into the audacious culprit, fist already in the air.
But then she saw him; the owner of the hand.
It was Garp, Luffy’s grandfather.
He was wearing a denim jacket, with with bright yellow leggings, and fur-covered uggs to top it off. His skin was a crisp golden brown colour, as if he’d spent too long out in the sun.
“What’s up, sluts?” He demanded, taking a sip of his Starbucks frappuccino.
No one knew how to respond. Nami was at a complete loss of words, shocked into silence at the sight of Garp’s massive bulge, which was quite visible through his leggings.
She touched it.
As she fondled Luffy’s grandfather, she noticed a strange shape out of the corner of her eye.
Garp groaned in annoyance at the loss of attention as Nami peered out the galley window. She had to get a better look. Reluctantly she removed her hand from Garp’s massive, pulsating cock.
Nami gazed into the distance and saw something that shook her to her very core. Something she would never be able to forget. No matter how many gory fights they were in, no matter how many children she saw die at the hands of pirates less noble than themselves, this was simply unmatched.
Far, far off in the distance she saw two of their greatest foes: Foxy and Doh Flamingo. But they were not plotting evil deeds or murdering innocent folks. No. This was far worse.
They were standing on an inflatable raft. Or rather Doh Flamingo was standing. Foxy was in a much more… vulnerable position. Bent over on his hands and knees, his plump and enticing (and NAKED) behind up high in the air. Doh Flamingo was just getting into position to-
“What do you see, Nami?” Chopper asked, innocently.
Of course none of the rest of the crew would be able to see such a great distance. Nami had had to use her byakugon to view the wretched scene (something she would live to regret).
“It’s nothing.” She reassured Chopper.
**back to the present**
“Chopper!” Nami whined, shaking her empty glass in the air, “Bring me more of that zesty Vodka!”
“But Nami you drank it all! That was the last of it.” Chopper exclaimed, about to burst into tears. Nami just sighed and threw the glass over the railing into the blue depths. She pulled out her magazine with a huff, laying back down on her beach towel.
“Fuck you Chopper!” Nami yelled in a Jersey accent.
Little did Nami know, that sparked a less than innocent thought in the older reindeer’s mind. He was not blind to the ways of the world. He’s seen Vivi’s collection of Crocodile nudes and now knew what the hubub with romance was about.
‘Oh yes’ Chopper thought. ‘Maybe someday.’
As Nami sunbathed her mind began to wander. When did Chopper become so...bewitching?
Out of the corner of her eye, Nami spotted Chopper bending over to retrieve his hemorrhoid medication that he had dropped. His cute tail waved lazily back and forth in the wind. Nami felt the sudden need to reach over and-
‘No.’ She scolded herself. Chopper’s suave was Fresh Prince of Bel Air level. Practically Jesus. She wasn’t worthy to even think about squeezing those puffy cheeks.
‘ One day, one day I will have him.’ Her eyes followed the sway of Chopper’s hips as he went back into the galley. Suddenly, there was a loud thud on deck.
“Fuck your fucking broom Harold!” She cursed, jumping to her gritty feet.
“Don’t be scared Nami, it’s just me! Onion!” The child exclaimed. He was wearing a tube top with strange furred boots that appeared to be made out of hairy human legs.
“Onion?! I promised I wouldn’t tell anyone you have the god like abilities of the Belly Button Belly Button Fruit, so why would you come to see me? Please don’t tell me you want another lock of hair for your leg boots.”
Onion waved his hands, laughing. “No no no, I just needed to bring an old friend here for shelter. He got pregs by old man Whitebeard.”
“Woah he’s a pretty big guy.” (wink wink)
“So I’m told,” (wink wink) “anyway, I’m gonna teleport him here. BELLY BELLY PORTAL!”
Faster than Sonic on meth, Onion’s belly button flew off of his stomach and right onto Nami’s.
It started to grow and grow until it merged with Nami’s own navel. Eventually, there was a gaping belly button taking up all of Nami’s stomach.
“BELLY BELLY, OPEN!” Onion cried. With a large hip thrust, a neon orange beam shot straight into Nami’s stomach hole. Nami cries out in pain but bears it, knowing Onion was capable of doing far worse if she defied him.
A soft laugh could be heard coming from in her stomach that only grew louder with time.
“fefefEFeFEFEFE!” Foxy’s nose started to emerge and soon enough, his whole body slumped through and landed on the deck, not unlike a slug.
“Onion! Thank you for bringing me here! It’s always good to see you and your stylish boots.” Foxy exclaimed, standing wobbly. Onion shuffled his feet and looked away bashfully. He was always weak to praise.
“Oh stop it you fox! I don’t know how your child is going to handle your smooth words.” Onion chuckled.
“Child?” Nami asked, staring at Foxy’s extended stomach.
Chopper bursts out of the galley, out of breath. He runs over to the group while holding a transponder snail up in the air.
“GUYS LISTEN!” He shouts. Wordlessly they gather around in anticipation for what it has to say.
“What in Hogwart’s name is going on?” The voice of Ron Weasley emerges. There is a quiet sipping noise of tea in the background. “I need more tea for this.”
TO BE CONTINUED