Chapter Text
"Now you be sure to be polite, dear. Think before you speak."
"Yes, Mother."
"You remember how to put on your uniform like I showed you, right? You can't be sloppy with your clothing."
"Yes, Mother."
"And make some friends, Karina, please. I know there's going to be a lot of people there but that just means you'll be more likely to find someone you can get along with. Don't stop trying, okay? Just watch out for all the boys that will only want to put a baby in you."
"Yes, Mother," I say a third time, standing as still as I can as the woman fusses and fiddles with my clothes, straightening and brushing off the skirt I'm wearing because I like the way it swishes and flows around my legs and how easy it makes hiding a dagger on my thigh. Her purple hair falls in curly locks all the way down her head, bobbing around and brushing against my hands as she leans over to tighten my collar. She's not a tall woman, but I'm very short for my age—something I find reason to regret almost daily.
"I know, I know, I'm just repeating myself. You're a smart, strong girl. You can take care of yourself. But a Crest like yours is valuable, dear. A mother worries."
I nod carefully, feeling my own hair tickle my ears as my head moves. Though I've inherited my mother's beautiful hair, I've always preferred to keep mine short. It felt constantly distracting when I was a child, my hands always finding their way up to play absently with the curls until the habit was scolded out of me. Even now, I feel a slight temptation to reach out and pull on one of the coiled springs growing from my mother's head, but that wouldn't be proper so I stay still. I am very good at staying still.
"Thank you for worrying about me," I tell her, and my mother smiles.
"Oh, you're such a good girl," she beams, her eyes glistening. "You make your father and I so proud. I suppose I should stop stalling and let you get to your carriage, shouldn't I?"
"Probably, but you are paying them so I do not think they will be inclined to leave without me," I point out, and my mother laughs.
"I suppose so. I guess I'll stall a little longer, then."
She embraces me in a hug, and while I stiffen up at first I slowly reach my arms around her and give her a careful squeeze back, feeling her breath on my shoulder and her heartbeat in my ear and her warmth on my chest. I've always known it, but it is especially obvious in this moment before I leave the barony without my family for the first time how much she'll miss me. It's… nice, in a strange way, to know that I'll be missed. I've certainly worked hard to be worthy of her love.
And thanks to that hard work, I've been accepted into the Church of Seiros Officer's Academy.
"Alright," my mother says, finally breaking from the hug. "Let's get you on your way. Be sure to say hi to your cousin if you see her, but don't get in the way of her work. And please send a letter every month if you have the time. Your father and I are going to want to hear all about what you're getting up to!"
"Yes, Mother," I agree dutifully, and both of us finally exit the dressing room, head downstairs, and make our way to the waiting travel carriage that has long since been loaded up with my suitcases. With another, even more final set of goodbyes, I eventually manage to get inside the vehicle and begin the long, long trip to the Garreg Mach Monastery. But much like how I'm good at staying still, I'm very good at waiting, too.
---
The Garreg Mach Monastery is very large and very old. I do not understand how something of its size could be built on foundations crafted over a millennium ago. It looks more like a giant castle than a religious edifice, but considering that it is also a primary base for one of the largest and most dangerous military forces on the continent, I suppose that is quite sensible.
My father graduated from the Officer's Academy himself, and though he has many complaints about this place he seemed quite pleased when I asked to apply. The Empire has been… chafing a little, I think the term is, at the many restrictions the Church of Seiros imposes—my father tends to speak very loudly about the quotas of various metals he's required to sell the church at barely-profitable rates when drunk—but so far as I know he is just grumbling. The Church has the support of Faerghus, Leicester, and, despite the figurative chafing, most of the Empire as well. It more or less runs off of the support of all three nations to maintain a neutral ground and prevent further war; there isn't anywhere in Fódlan that doesn't pay tithes to it in one way or another.
People seem to get really intense about religion. My family doesn't worship the goddess outside of a few words on holidays, though, so I've never particularly understood it.
"Ah- ha! Is that another first year uniform I see?" a loud, crisp voice rings out as I step off the carriage and accept my suitcases from the driver. "Hello and well met!"
I look towards the voice and spot a patch of carrot-colored hair and bright, matching eyes power-walking towards my location at an impressive speed. It's a boy wearing the same uniform that I am, though he has pants instead of a skirt and has styled his outfit with a cravat, which is an explicitly allowed addition to the uniform per the rules outlined in the Officer's Academy campus living policy. This man will be one of my classmates. I nod to him in greeting.
"I am Ferdinand von Aegir!" he declares proudly. "May I ask your name, miss?"
"Karina von Gillingr," I answer, staring intently at him. Aegir, he said. Where have I heard… oh that's the Prime Minister he is the Prime Minister's son. I should try to make a good impression somehow.
"Ah! Doubly well met, then!" he announces even more brightly. "I was almost worried you wouldn't make it on time! I have heard tales of how difficult it is to travel through Gillingr territory."
"Not difficult," I correct. "Merely time-consuming. The mountains are jagged and the paths are few. Getting from one place to another is very inefficient, unless you wish to make the trek on foot or wyvern."
"Hmm! You know, I never thought about traveling long-distance via wyvern. Do you have many wyverns in Gillingr territory?"
"Yes, but they are mostly wild," I answer. "Not good for travel. They like to eat our goats. I think we should eat them back but my father said wyverns are not good for eating. I tried some anyway, once. It tasted okay."
He blinks at me. I maintain eye contact like a good conversationalist.
"Ah… I see," Ferdinand eventually says. Hmm. Is that a bad 'I see?' I stare at him more closely. "Well please, allow me to assist with your luggage!"
Oh, he wants to help me. Maybe my first impression was good after all. He steps next to me and grabs the suitcase in which I brought my clothing without waiting for me to answer. That's weird and I don't like it but it's probably not a bad sign.
"As a fellow noble and member of my class, I would be honored to help you locate your room and get settled in! Most of the rest of us arrived yesterday with the Knights of Seiros, so I have been spending the day helping Edelgard set up the classroom and ensure everything is in order since for some reason our instructor doesn't seem to have done so. The Golden Deer and the Blue Lions have had their instructors decided already, but our house hasn't been told who will be teaching us. Isn't that strange? Oh, hello again, Byleth."
"Hello," a woman in weird leggings answers emotionlessly as she walks by.
"Anyway, I hope there isn't some sort of problem with our instructor. The first yearly event is the rivalry of the houses, and the Black Eagles must prove our superiority and prevail, don't you agree? Yet we'll be at a major disadvantage without an experienced instructor to support us. It is most vexing!"
I nod along quietly, Ferdinand seeming to be more than capable of handling my half of the conversation in addition to his own. He almost talks as much as my mother. I can't decide if that's good or bad, but I do my best to listen and hope that makes him like me.
Ferdinand apparently considers it his 'noble duty' to help me move into my new room, which concerns me for a moment because I'm a noble and I came too late to help anyone else move in. He gets distressed when I point that out, though, and insists I have done nothing wrong. I guess it's his noble duty and not mine? I've never heard of any etiquette about this and it worries me a little. He seems to have a lot of very high standards for nobles, which I think would make sense to me if I could understand what those standards were. His reasoning was very unclear, but I accept that he doesn't want my apology and let the conversation move on.
Still, he seems happy enough talking to me, and while I struggle to follow along the whole time I think it's a good sign. He's particularly excited to talk about how my father's barony—and therefore my father—have been dramatically increasing in value for the past two decades or so, though he seems to want to attribute this to what he insists must be my father's excellent leadership rather than the rich mineral veins that were uncovered in our territory via means utterly unrelated to my father at all. It baffles me a little, but I've observed this sort of behavior before and know better than to comment.
Regardless of the reason why, it's good that my father's barony is bringing such value to the empire. I suppose that it will likely one day be my barony. Perhaps that and more, if House Barnabas remains barren for reasons I have a strong suspicion about but will never voice. Baron Barnabas is a close family friend, after all. I stayed the night with them on the journey here and all but had those suspicions confirmed, though of course I didn't try to make contact with the likely perpetrator.
Though that reminds me. My mother warned me about boys who might be interested in my blood and my womb more than anything they actually claim to be talking to me for. Politically speaking, the Prime Minister's son is… unlikely to be taking that route. My father's barony might be rich, but his father is well above the need to care about something as small as a barony. Though I'm never supposed to say so out loud, my father says the Prime Minister has more power than even the Emperor! Our social standings are leagues apart. There shouldn't be any reason he would wish to court me.
…Except for my Crest. Anyone with a Major Crest can expect to be marrying up the social ladder. The value I bring to someone like an Aegir is the very fact that it would be expected for me to leave behind my family, my territory, and my name to bring only my blood to the engagement. So that my power can become part of House Aegir, and no one else's.
I have always known this. And I have always known better than to feel too much unnecessary loyalty to the name Gillingr. So while Ferdinand could easily do quite better for himself than the daughter of a baron, I keep an eye on him anyway as he busies about my room, unpacking my suitcases and rearranging my new furniture in ways that he insists will be more 'homely' after I tell him that I genuinely do not care how things are organized.
He doesn't glance my way any more than average. His pupils don't dilate when looking at me, or flash over my body to judge it. Most other signs of attraction I tend to look for overlap with signs of exertion, so I'll have to check them later, but overall he seems quite intent on helping me unpack my room and little else. Almost like a servant. For arguably the most powerful member of the empire in this entire monastery, it's rather uncanny.
A knock on the door frame announces the arrival of the two sets of footsteps I've heard approaching for some time. The door is already wide open (it wouldn't be proper for Ferdinand to be in my room otherwise) so I turn and spot the other arguably most powerful member of the empire in this monastery, if you like to be either pedantic or wrong.
Princess Edelgard von Hresvelg, first and only in line to the Emperor and almost certainly Ferdinand's superior in personal, physical power stands firmly in the doorway, eyebrow raised as the son of the prime minister continues busying himself with my luggage. She, not Ferdinand, wears the flowing crimson addition to her uniform that marks her as the head of the Black Eagle class, our leader and representative. It wouldn't do, after all, to make people actually think the position of Emperor is purely a figurehead… even if that happens to be true.
One might also be forgiven for assuming her stark white hair and small, frail-looking stature would mean that she couldn't possibly be a dangerous physical combatant, but such logic only applies to non-nobles. Real strength doesn't lie in the muscles, it lies in the blood, and a future Emperor's blood is a foolish thing to underestimate.
Behind her is a pale figure with deep bags under his eyes and a mop of messy, black hair. I don't know him, but he openly scrutinizes me in much the same way I scrutinize him. Likely an assistant or bodyguard of some sort, with how close he clings to the future Emperor and how she seems to treat his invasion of personal space as completely banal. I give him a very slight, respectful nod, trying to be polite. His lips twist a bit upwards in response. A smile! So he's friendly. That's good.
"I heard you were spotted escorting our final classmate, Ferdinand, but I didn't expect to find you in her room," Princess Edelgard comments, and I can't tell if her tone and body language are annoyed or amused.
"Ah! Edelgard, hello!" the Prime Minister's son greets her brightly. "Well, since Karina here missed the official tour of the grounds, I thought that I ought to give her one so that she's not lost come tomorrow. But of course we have to deposit her luggage first, and it's important to ensure she's unpacked and comfortable in her room so that she can sleep well, and the sooner we unpack the sooner we can get to the tour, which is important so that we can finish at the dining hall at dinner time!"
"Well that's… very thoughtful of you, Ferdinand, but it's still putting you in the same room as a girl as she puts away her underthings," Edelgard points out.
Ferdinand turns to me, confused at first but quickly startled as he realizes I am, indeed, in the middle of transferring my underwear to the clothing cabinet, as if the act of unpacking clothes wasn't guaranteed to inevitably lead to this exact situation before the task was complete and he had no way to predict this. I'm not really sure how I'm supposed to react to that, so I don't and just continue putting things away. Is it my faux pas for pulling them out with men in the room…? I don't really care who sees my underwear, especially when I'm not even wearing it.
"Ahem. Well. You must be Karina von Gillingr, then," Princess Edelgard says, opting to ignore whatever it is Ferdinand is now doing. And… wait. Oh, shoot. I'm probably supposed to have introduced myself to the Princess or at least acknowledged her in some way beyond sizing her up.
"Yes, that's correct," I say, putting down what I'm holding and giving her what I think is an appropriate bow. "It's good to meet you, Princess Edelgard."
"Now, there's no need for that," she says with a smile. "We're all classmates here. Just Edelgard is fine."
"Edelgard, then," I confirm, rising from the bow. And then, to reciprocate: "Please call me Karina."
"Welcome to the Black Eagles, Karina," Edelgard says. "Though the rest of us have already met and socialized a bit, I'm sure you'll be able to find a place to fit right in. It looks like we're going to be… quite the eclectic bunch, this year."
"That's… good?" I hedge, trying to figure out what a vague statement like that actually means.
"I think it will be good," she confirms. "Though I did want to warn you that, since much of the class is already well-acquainted with each other, you may be subject to an abnormal amount of attention or questions. Just as a heads-up."
I nod. It makes sense.
"It isn't often that a baron's daughter gets to rub elbows with the future ministers of the Empire," I say, and then quickly realize I probably shouldn't have said that out loud. …Or at the very least, I should have included 'and the future Emperor.' But Edelgard doesn't seem outwardly offended, only giving me a considering look.
"Perhaps," she agrees. "But I think that is only because a baron's daughter rarely has the income—and far more importantly, the skill —to pay for and be accepted to the Officer's Academy. I believe success in one's studies is the only thing that matters in a school, not rank or status. One of our classmates is even a commoner this year. I'm a little worried that she may be mistreated for it, so I hope I can rely on you to keep an eye out and help ensure no one is denying her the respect she is owed as a fellow student?"
Um. Hmm. Etiquette lessons did not prepare me for this. Why is she relying on me for this? She literally just met me. She has no reason to believe I'd be any good at the task I am being assigned. …Though likewise, she has no reason to believe I'd be bad at it. She may as well be committing to a stab against an opponent of unknown strength, which… well. No. She's not a fool. She knows this. Against an opponent of unknown strength, you explicitly don't commit. You jab, feint, and make a safe move or two to size them up and identify their weaknesses before going for the kill.
My success or failure at this task isn't important in itself. It's important for what it tells her about me. And of course, I don't know what answer she wants me to give, so I may as well give her the truth.
"I like that," I tell her.
"Hmm?" she blinks.
"'Success in one's studies is the only thing that matters in a school,'" I quote her. "We are students. Our purpose is to learn. I like that."
Things are better when they have a purpose. They make more sense to me. Purposes can be complicated and multifaceted, but as long as I understand what they are then I can figure out where I belong within them.
"Well, I'm glad," Edelgard says. "I'm not sure that answers my question, though."
"Oh, sorry," I say. Um… how to put this. "It will be much easier for me to treat everyone like students anyway. Much less complicated. And a good student shouldn't let anything bad happen to their classmates, right?"
Again, Edelgard's expression is a bit too complicated for me to read, but she nods and that seems like approval.
"Yes," she agrees. "A good student shouldn't do that. Well, let me know if you're having any trouble getting situated, Karina. It's technically my job to make sure you're settling in well, not Ferdinand's."
"It is only right for me to take some of that burden from you, Lady Edelgard," Ferdinand insists. "And I already have the entire monastery layout memorized! You can count on me to give a tour worthy of the nobility!"
"...Just don't let him drag you into anything you don't actually want to do," Edelgard sighs. "Hubert, did you need anything from Karina?"
"Not at this time," the black-haired man says, his eyes still studying me carefully.
"Oh, goodness, I completely forgot," Edelgard says. "Karina, this is Hubert. He's also one of our classmates. I hope the two of you get along."
"Yes," Hubert agrees, "I will be sure to have my eye on her during the coming days. I am certain we will find much to talk about. Goodbye. For now."
"Bye," I nod back at him, pleased that he wants to talk to me. I like him. He seems nice. He and the princess depart as Ferdinand and I finish unpacking my things, the redhead babbling ceaselessly the whole time. I don't really mind it, but I also find myself unable to pay attention to it less than halfway through. It's just so many words.
"—Bernadetta's room, and while she is a bit… excitable, I think I would say, I have high hopes that the two of you could become fast friends," Ferdinand says as we exit, catching my attention with a name I recognize. "Actually, you… well, if you don't mind me saying so, you look rather similar to her! Are you perhaps related?"
"Yes. Bernadetta von Varley and I share a great-grandfather on my mother's side," I answer succinctly.
"Oh! You're quite familiar with your peerage," Ferdinand says, sounding impressed.
"Count Varley has mentioned it to me in passing," I answer. "He seems to like saying it. And inviting my family to visit so he can remind us about it. And mentioning it in letters."
"O-oh?" Ferdinand says hesitantly. "Well… ah. That's right, isn't it? You possess a Crest of Indech. A major one, if I recall correctly. Very rare, and normally associated with her house more than yours, yes? I believe your father has a minor crest of Cichol."
"Yes," I confirm. "Bernadetta's father once called me the 'pride of House Varley's blood.' During her tenth birthday party."
"...Oh," Ferdinand says, the corners of his lips finally falling for the first time during the whole conversation. "So you and Bernadetta are…"
"We are already acquainted," I answer flatly. Bernadetta has never been particularly fond of me, and frankly I find her rather vexing in return. No matter how hard I try to not be frightening, the girl still runs from me.
"I see. Well, hopefully the two of you can consider the academy a fresh start!" he says, managing to reassert his optimism almost immediately. "The Black Eagles must stand united. We represent the future of The Adrestian Empire!"
I nod.
"I will do my best to get along with everyone," I promise. I am supposed to make friends, after all, no matter how traditionally futile this endeavor has been. Besides, I haven't seen Bernadetta in years. Perhaps she will have a bit more spine, or at least the ability to articulate whatever it is I'm apparently doing wrong before screaming something confusing and running away.
…Probably not, though.
The tour of the monastery continues, and I make sure to memorize the layout as we travel. I am also introduced to other students of all three houses, but while I do my best to remember their names I know I'll have a hard time with matching that name to the person, especially if some of them share hair colors—or worse, change how they look. I'm not too worried about it, since I will be seeing them all every day and therefore have plenty of time to figure it all out, but it's definitely going to be a struggle.
"And this is the library!" Ferdinand announces, revealing a relatively small but densely packed room full of books on every wall. "Ah, hello, Tomas! This is Karina von Gillingr. Tomas is the librarian here, Karina."
"Oh, hello there," the old man nods, a pleasant smile on his face. "Another first-year? I see you're getting a private tour after missing the official one. Very good of you, Ferdinand. I can already tell you'll do wonderfully here at the academy."
"But of course!" Ferdinand agrees, puffing up quite happily under the praise. "Such is my noble duty!"
"Hmm… I suppose I should go over the library rules for you," Tomas says. "But you've already heard them, Ferdinand. Would you be so kind as to send Karina back to me when you're done with your tour?"
"Why, I'd be more than happy to wait while you inform her, Tomas!" Ferdinand says. "It is no trouble."
"No, no, I have a few things I need to take care of, first," Tomas says. "You two run along and finish things up. Just show her where my office is during the tour, hmm? Her first test can be remembering how to get back by herself!"
Ferdinand laughs and agrees, the tour continuing until I eventually have the above-ground layout understood in my head. I've noted multiple places that look like they could lead deeper, but I probably won't need to care too much about that as a student. When Ferdinand and I make it back to my room, I thank him for the tour and wait for him to depart before heading back to Tomas' office. I knock, and make my way inside at his instruction. He smiles at me. I make sure to smile back.
"We can speak freely here," he tells me.
I bow.
"It is good to see you again, my creator."
The man's body language shifts all at once, from the bone-aching slump of age to the posture of an experienced mage, ready to flick his fingers into something deadly at any moment. Personally, though, I find the casual shift of personality rather reassuring. It has been a very, very long time since I have seen Solon, and I can only think of one reason for one of the sages to be this deep into enemy territory: the time for the Agarthans to rule has come. So of course, it is time to play my part.
How could I not be at least a little excited for that? It's what I was made for, after all.