Chapter Text
You could say that Harry's life was simple. Get up, get ready, go to class, eat, go back to class, eat dinner and sleep. All in a repetitive cycle that Harry found very nostalgic and comfortable.
The only thing special about his days was hanging out with his two friends, dodging Umbridge and sending secret letters to his godfather.
Who knew his fifth year would be so easy without visions of torture and mysterious doors that a murderous maniac sent him every night?
Surely not Harry. Occlumency was the best thing in the world.
It turns out that this Harry was not the 15-year-old everyone thought he was.
This Harry had a secret.
He was an opera singer.
And he's also a 2000+ year old master of death, but no one cared about that.
It turns out that, like 99.99999% of Harry Potter masters of death, at his young age of 17, Harry picked up the hallows by accident and, unbeknownst to him, became an immortal.
He spent the next few years struggling with his immortality and his inability to age, struggling with the pain of losing his friends, despair and madness at being alone, blah, blah, blah.
If you don't know that story, please check out more Harry Potter Master of Death fanfics.
As I was saying, after his long depression, he was called to the congregation of the Harrys, where he met a bunch of Harrys in the same situation and they became one big happy family.
Or not…, because the vast majority were stark raving mad and those who weren't were either catatonic or a step away from their non-existent graves.
This Harry didn't want to associate with these psychopathic lunatics at all, so he quickly saved all he could and bought himself a world where Harry Potter had died in his childhood so he could supplant him and spend his days in bliss. And that's where he is now. About to receive the worst news of his life.
--------------
“Harry, hurry up. We're going to be late” Hermione shouted from the bottom of the stairs leading up to Harry's room in Gryffindor tower.
Harry had actually finished getting ready several minutes ago, but he found Hermione's gushing nostalgic. He had missed her.
“I'm coming, I'm coming” he shouted as he got out of bed and proceeded down the stairs.
“Ron has already saved a place for us in the great dining room. Apparently, the announcement Dumbledore plans to make today is very important” Hermione said before walking over to Harry and fixing the tie Harry had purposely disarranged. These moments were the ones that brought happiness to his life.
“I'm pretty sure the only reason Ron went out first is to have more food for him. The days when Dumbledore has important announcements are when they make Ron's favorite dishes” Harry replied with a grin.
Hermione patted him on the arm but still laughed a little at his joke “I'm sure you're right, but we should still hurry for the announcement. It looks like it's going to be important”
Harry shrugged and followed Hermione into the Great Dining Hall. Dumbledore had never given a major speech in the middle of his fifth year in his previous life, but the butterfly effect existed, so Harry wasn't too worried.
He should have been.
—----------------------
When they reached the dining room, most of the students were already seated, so Harry and Hermione hurried to where Ron was sitting, with two reserved seats and three plates of food in front of him.
“You guys are almost late. It Won’t be long before Dumbledore starts with the announcement” said Ron between bites of chicken thighs.
Hermione frowned as she watched Rion spit out some of his food as he spoke “Don't be rude Ron. Chew with your mouth shut”
Ron felt slightly embarrassed, so he apologized with his mouth full which caused even more food to come out of his mouth. Harry just laughed at the exchange.
While the trio were busy laughing, several members of the ministry, including Fudge, entered the room and took seats next to the professors. Umbridge began whispering with Fudge while others such as Kingsley and Tonks, aurors who were presumably there to guard the Minister, began talking to McGonagall.
Harry was beginning to suspect the whole thing, but quickly the situation escalated.
Members of the Order who were not part of the school staff also appeared in the room without explanation. Sirius waved at him from the corner of the room and Harry could only wave back in confusion.
Wasn't Sirius a wanted criminal? And what was he doing in the same room as the Minister?
Harry was unable to ask any more questions as Dumbledore stood up and clinked his glass to draw the audience's attention to himself, like the good attention seeker he was.
“Good afternoon, everyone. I’m sorry for getting you all here on such short notice, but I would like to announce that I have found a way to defeat Lord Voldemort for good without any casualties”
Yes, this sounded bad to Harry. And apparently to Fudge and Umbridge too, but for the wrong reasons.
Harry almost didn't hear it, but he could have sworn that Fudge whispered “If he's really still alive” to his undersecretary.
Harry didn't understand why the man was here if he didn't believe a word the headmaster said, but he didn't bother to give it a second thought.
When the murmurs in the Great Hall, caused by the headmaster’s words, didn't seem to die down, Dumbledore clinked his goblet again.
“I know some of you do not believe that the dark lord is alive, but I assure you he is, and we must defeat him” Dumbledore declared, then lifted a book from between his robes.
A book Harry knew all too well. Things were starting to get ugly and Harry didn't like where this was going at all.
“This book will call up several heroes who have defeated the dark lord Voldemort in other dimensions”
The room erupted in exclamations of astonishment and unease, but Dumbledore spoke over them again.
“There is a small price to pay, but I have already arranged for what is needed. Now, I will call upon seven random heroes to aid us in our fight”
The great hall began to fill with cheers and cheers of encouragement as Dumbledore opened the pages of that damn book and began chanting and calling out random names.
In his defense, Dumbledore might not have known what the Latin names meant, but if a 116 year old wizard didn't, it was his own fault for the hell he was about to unleash.
Harry hadn't had time to process all this information before the names of the chosen ones came out of Dumbledore's mouth. Without Harry even being able to say a word to alert anyone, Dumbledore announced his choice.
“I summon you, Anthropophagi, Necrophiliac, occisor, perditor, damnatus, urbanum and insanus”
Harry had decided that the man was just plain stupid.
Those names clearly foreshadowed just how insane and monstrous the people he had just summoned were, and he said it with a smile so clear that Harry had already lost all faith in humanity.
Harry at this point just wanted to scream at the idiot who had caused all this trouble, but he held back because....
Why was he holding back?
With that clear realization, Harry got up from the table, climbed into his seat and shouted at the top of his lungs.
“YOU FUCKING IDIOT!”