all aboard the ineffable plan
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all aboard the ineffable plan by doctormissy
Fandoms: Lucifer (TV), Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
18 Nov 2019
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Summary
Despite what most people and people-shaped beings around the Universe might assume, Lucifer was the last person to want to bring Armageddon about.
Or, in other words, Lucifer has no idea he has a son until said son summons him to the Tadfield Air Base, Crowley and Aziraphale have no idea that Lucifer doesn't actually want the world to end, and God is starting to be tired of their mutual pining.
Series
- Part 6 of the eyes emoji squad
- Part 1 of all aboard the ineffable plan
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Summary
The angel—his angel—briefly looks away, flustered, and then looks back at Crowley, who thinks it’s somewhat adorable, the faces Aziraphale makes. Not that he’d ever use the word. He says, ‘We’ll have time to figure it out, hopefully. Together.’
Crowley’s eyebrow does this thing where it cocks up without his permission. ‘Together?’
Or, in other words, five times they don’t speak about their love for each other and one time they (sort of) do.
Series
- Part 2 of all aboard the ineffable plan
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Summary
‘Aziraphale, what—what are you doing?’ he asks, stupidly, the tips of his ears doused with Hellfire, a hummingbird’s heart hammering in his chest.
‘What does it look like I’m doing, dearest?’ Aziraphale’s hands are gripping his jacket and moving downwards. It gets stuck on his immovable hands. ‘I’m taking your jacket off. And you’re overthinking things.’
‘I’m—’ A throaty sound comes out. He doesn’t know how to respond to that with words—not good at them, remember?—so he tears the jacket off himself and lurches forward, capturing Aziraphale’s teasing lips in a kiss that says, shut up, I love you, I can’t believe you, maybe you’re right, please take that blasted bow tie off.
Or, in other words, Aziraphale braids Crowley’s hair, they go to Paris, and then they get to know each other in the biblical sense.
Series
- Part 3 of all aboard the ineffable plan
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Summary
Throughout history, there are many events for which Crowley has taken credit despite not being anywhere near them. Then there are the Stonewall Riots in 1969.
Or, in other words, Crowley is supposed to be there anyway, so why not ask Aziraphale for lunch and fuel a revolution? And fifty years later, they return to celebrate WorldPride.
Series
- Part 4 of all aboard the ineffable plan
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Summary
‘There’s mail!’
Crowley willed his other eye to open as well and stared at the canopy of leaves and red fruits above him for a second. ‘Yeah, so?’
‘Electronic mail,’ Aziraphale corrected himself. Crowley still didn’t understand what was so important about it to justify waking him up. He inwardly cringed at the choice of words, too. He bloody well knew it was called an e-mail—
‘From Warlock!’ Aziraphale added, exhilarated.
Oh.
Or, in other words, Warlock lives in America, Aziraphale and Crowley live in the South Downs, and the only way to go about informing the former about what exactly had gone down a year ago is e-mailing, obviously.
Series
- Part 5 of all aboard the ineffable plan
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of kings and hellhounds by doctormissy for Dacelin, WittyWritter96
Fandoms: Lucifer (TV), Good Omens (TV)
26 Dec 2019
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Summary
‘Listen, urchin, if I were, hypothetically, to give you a dog, what would you, hypothetically, name it?’
‘Hang on,’ Trixie said, snickering and a little too smart, ‘are you talking about a Hellhound? Are giving me a Hellhound? You gotta Name those to shape their personality, right? I know you do, Adam told me all about it.’
Or, in other words, it’s Christmas, demons are annoying as ever, Lucifer makes some interesting discoveries, and Chloe brings biscuits.
Series
- Part 6 of all aboard the ineffable plan
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Summary
‘Angel,’ he said dryly.
When he turned around, Aziraphale gave him a curious, innocent ‘Hmm?’
‘What in the name of Satan’s bollocks and everything unholy are you wearing?’
Or, in other words, ugly holiday jumpers are (very much reluctantly, a certain demon would tell you) worn, gifts are exchanged, and a truce between Heaven and Hell is only a hair’s breadth away.
Series
- Part 7 of all aboard the ineffable plan
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Summary
Most people and people-shaped beings around the Universe now know that Lucifer was the last person to want to bring Armageddon about. A year and four months later, everyone is celebrating New Year's Day and advocating peace between the two sides.
Or, in other words, five times someone celebrates a new decade + one time they celebrate a new era.…Or do they?
Series
- Part 8 of all aboard the ineffable plan