1 - 20 of 70 Works in Static Man (Archive 81)
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Nicholas wiped his palms on his pants and sat up straight, leaning over so his elbows rested on his thighs and sighing. "I don't know what it is, exactly," he admitted. What it really was was embarrassing. It was a rabbit hole, a desperate measure. Following broken links on Reddit into broken links on Tumblr and then finding a thread on Twitter that read like a teenager's manifesto of the reality of ghosts. It sounded ridiculous, the way it was written, a tirade of promises of the otherworldly, how one could shift if they just dreamt hard enough. But Nicholas had known that enough of it was real to believe the reports by people in the replies, empty profiles with no profile picture and little to connect them to any lived experience, any proof of reality. The type of stuff that anyone browsing just learning about magic would write off as obvious fakes. Nicholas himself had fallen into this trap, but had learned better over the years. But you still had to be thorough.
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Nicholas doesn’t seem to find all this quite as funny. “Control yourself,” he mutters. “Or else I will.”
That shocks a startled laugh out of Static Man. “Seriously, dude? Scary Nicholas Waters, gonna-”
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The void is familiar.
Series
- Part 10 of whumptober 2025
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,534
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Hits:
- 7
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As soon as the door swings open, Arthur lodges his complaint. “Morgan, I can’t believe that you gave me nostrils.”
A pause, and then a strained laugh that definitely isn’t his friend the bodycrafter, but instead one of her roommates. One of the Jessicas, he thinks? Not sure, they all sort of run together, but she definitely looks a bit perturbed with that opening.
Whoops.
~~~
arthur's still adjusting to having a real flesh body, morgan helps
Series
- Part 9 of whumptober 2025
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,286
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Hits:
- 9
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Flesh will not be necessary for your consciousness moving forwards.
“Yeah, I heard that bit. No fucking clue what it means, though, like- am I gonna become a ghost? Is this just a weird, drawn-out way of saying that you’re killing me?”
You will not be killed, Payphone says. Perhaps you will wish you were dead, but that will not be the case.
~~~
Arthur's made some unwise deals, and Payphone's come to collect.
Series
- Part 4 of whumptober 2025
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“This world that we live in, it has a certain frequency that it sings with, echoing out into all those in-between spaces." Elise tilts her head, seems to settle into the rhythm of the words as though she has spoken them many times before. "The world that you seek, well, that one has a wholly different frequency, and those notes are quite discordant when you overlay them. Attempting to bring them in tune is unstable, and rarely pleasant for anyone involved. With this, however,” she says, twirling the tuning fork between her fingers, “it becomes possible to strike a chord, creating a much more...shall we say, workable combination.”
“Fascinating,” Nicholas says. He never had much of an ear for music, and—not for the first time—he is beginning to wonder if that may be a detriment in his chosen profession. “May I see it?” He extends his hand as he asks, only for Elise to pull the fork away.
Her smile twists, gesturing at sympathy without quite landing. “I’m afraid I’d like a bit of insurance, just for my own peace of mind.”
Series
- Part 1 of whumptober 2025
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“This isn’t about a body,” he said, and it would’ve been more honest to say it wasn’t just about a body, but it wasn’t like there had ever been much honesty to spare in this house. “This is about - we were kind of becoming friends, the three of us, and I know you felt it too. There was, you know, a connection.”
Nicholas turned to lean back against the counter, crossing his arms over his stomach, and fixed Static Man with an inscrutable look. Sometimes, when Static Man was really having trouble reading him, he felt like he was looking at one of those optical illusions. The two faces and the vase, the girl and the old lady. He knew there was something to see there - in the heavy, straight brows, maybe, or the deep-set dark eyes; or the tension at the corners of the mouth, its sharp Cupid’s bow beneath the carefully trimmed edges of the mustache - but he just couldn’t get his vision to focus right.
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He kept his hand there, hovering over the jewelry cuff on the lobe of her ear and then he said, nonsensically, “I never knew anything about you.”
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Arthur, famed heterosexual, has graciously given Nicholas permission to flirt with him. He didn't expect him to be good at it.
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“Uh,” Static Man said, and Nicholas could see his light dim and flicker out of the corner of his eye. “I mean, it’s - I’m not gonna pretend it’s ideal. It’s definitely not what I had in mind.”
There was a but at the end there, which Static Man let it hang in the air, unspoken. Taken at face value, the words were close to a refusal. He was probably being careful not to agitate the double’s mother. But Nicholas heard their meaning.
It wasn’t ideal. But it was a body. And they had come so far.
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maybe he could teach me something by santanico for audenrain
Fandoms: Archive 81 (Podcast)
05 Dec 2024
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Basically, I have a deal with my roommate. He's mostly my roommate, and we've been living together for almost 2.5 years and have known each other for almost 3 years. He's a prickly guy, very private, and comes from extreme wealth, duh (thus the brownstone) (two dead parents). I'm also kind of in love with him.
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think of love when you remember me by santanico for audenrain
Fandoms: Archive 81 (Podcast)
28 Nov 2024
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“Hah,” Static Man said, without any real laughter in his voice. “So, like you - do you want to just deeply traumatize him in a new way, then?”
“Static Man,” Nicholas said thickly.
“Gotcha,” Static Man said, “I gotcha, you’re so full of shit, you know that?”
Nicholas looked at Static Man and thought that he had no room to argue, so he just shrugged. They were silent for a moment, before Static Man again encroached on Nicholas’ space. “What are you afraid of, exactly?” he said, and tilted his head-shape, which was especially human and made something warm and terrifying linger in Nicholas’ gut.
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“I don’t need long, I don’t think,” she said, but it wasn’t very convincing. “Just…until I can find somewhere to stay. Even if it’s just a hotel.”
Nicholas thought about arguing with her, but doing so in the car while they were all exhausted and cranky seemed like a less-than-ideal option, and anyway, Static Man had stepped out of the vehicle and walked towards the front door and then - like that, as if in a puff of smoke - he disappeared.
“Oh,” Morgan said from the backseat. “So I guess that’s how that works.” She picked up the tape recorder on the backseat and peered at it again as Nicholas looked over his shoulder at her.
“He’s being…unreasonable,” he said slowly. “And dramatic.”
“I’d noticed he was one for dramatics,” Morgan said.
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In which a sentient (but sexy) being of static and teeth upends Nicholas Waters' entire worldview.
OR
A conversation about the nature of occultists leads to Static Man having... a series of ideas.
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3.7k words of self-indulgent statnick smut
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It was a long time before he was able to recognize these thoughts for what they were: he missed Rat, and the way Rat touched him, with absolute confidence and brisk efficiency, like he was laundry to be folded or tiling with grout in need of a good scrub.
He was sitting on the train ride home, his coat zipped all the way to the throat and his hands shoved deep in his pockets, when the image came to him with no warning - Rat, leaning very close and straddling him at the hips as he had done so many mornings in the outpost, sinking both hands inside Dan’s chest cavity with no hesitation. He was struck by a sudden, hot twinge deep in his stomach, burrowing deeper the longer he held the image in his mind, until he realized that if he let himself imagine it any longer he was going to get a boner on the G train.
Series
- Part 1 of why choose your body over time with me
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She was still holding his hand, though not in any kind of a tender embrace - it was, if anything, rather scientific. He found, to his surprise, that he was feeling mildly self-conscious, aware of the dry skin on his knuckles, of the hangnail on his thumb - even though he had no reason to care what she thought of his hand or any other part of him. It was something about the look in her eyes, this certain look she always seemed to have that said she knew exactly how something should be, and wouldn’t be shy about saying if she found it wanting.
“Uh,” said Static Man, and he cleared his throat like he expected it to embarrass her into letting go, but she just looked over at him expectantly. “Yeah, no, I mean… I mean, hell, I’ll live vicariously through you.”
Nicholas looked sharply over at him as Morgan tossed her head back and laughed. The movement was big, animated, and he wondered if they shouldn’t have cracked the second bottle, but on the other hand they had all just narrowly avoided death and dismemberment, in that order, and perhaps a little celebration wasn’t such a bad thing.
Then Morgan swung a leg over Nicholas’ thighs.
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on the street, i'm a king-size killer by audenrain for santanico
Fandoms: Archive 81 (Podcast)
02 Jul 2024
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Nicholas waved a hand dismissively, dropping his head into the cradle of his other hand and digging thumb and forefinger beneath the lenses of his glasses and into his closed eyelids. Static Man winced to see it, the squish of his eyeballs warping under the pressure. Maybe it was a side effect of bursting as many eyeballs as he had; he couldn’t help but think that Nicholas didn’t realize just how fragile they were.
“I’m sure that’s not necessary,” Nicholas said. “Better to keep our heads down. If we get too showy, it will only attract more attention, and you can’t reduce everyone to bone shards and blood splatter. Well - you could, but then there would be no one left to trade with on the forums.”
“Dude, no one says ‘forums’ anymore,” Static Man said. “It’s just Reddit.”
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“Stick out your tongue.”
Nicholas did it, and didn’t look away.
There was a roiling sensation, deep in his gut, rejection on the tip of his tongue, but it never surfaced.
“Okay, Nicholas. I think we should just get started. Honestly, if we were both smarter people we would have practiced this a bit more, but whatever. Don’t have sex with me. Okay?”
“Okay,” Nicholas said. That was easy enough. He could lie down and take a nap.
“Jesus.”
“What?” Nicholas said.
“I’m steeling myself, okay?”
“For what?” Nicholas said.
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Touching Static Man is a very uncomfortable sensation. There are better things to be than comfortable.
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What if the Clerk wasn't the one who danced with Nicolas during the diner scene?
Could be read platonically or romantically.
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[Art] Inscribe a circle on the floor with the remaining blood by architeuthis for Koschei_B
Fandoms: Archive 81 (Podcast)
19 Apr 2023
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The circle should of course be large enough to accommodate the bodies of both participants.