meteorfic
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One of Dave's jokes gets a little too tasteless, and Karkat locks himself in his room. Is this the end of their friendship? Were they even friends to begin with? Why is Dave the only one flipping out about this?
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Dave falls asleep during movie night. This leads to another movie night. This leads to...well, complications due to time fuckery and doomed Daves.
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Dave forgets things sometimes. Sometimes they're big things.
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This is your standard meteorstuck except I'm recommending that you listen to 69 Love Songs by the Magnetic Fields.
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Sometimes having a four-square romance system backfires, like when you're four times as likely to be interrogated about your potential crushes and romantic meddling.
Or: In which Dave figures out how to play the ultimate one-sided game of "no-homo", Karkat falls for it every time, and neither of them question whether or not the other is(n't) bluffing.
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dave strider learns a thing or four about troll anatomy (and for that matter, so does rose) by niiiiix
Fandoms: Homestuck
08 Jul 2020
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dave asks rose if all trolls have 'tiny lil crab legs'. pesterlogs ensue
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Dave finds himself confessing to another timeline's version of Karkat, and it only causes problems.
Bookmarks which have used it as a tag:
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“Holy shit,” you whisper. Dave joins you at the window.
There are no stars left in the sky. Nothing but blackness and a faint soap bubble sheen.
“Is that a dream bubble?” Dave says.
And then it swallows you.
Update: Now with a VERY NSFW illustration by Renaris.
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- English
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- 12,231
- Chapters:
- 1/1
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- 128
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Bookmarked by mostlyharmless
30 Jan 2013
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Preretcon meteorfic. The thorny relationship between the knights is tested when they are trapped in a dream bubble together, and must rely on each other to survive deadly forces such as lava, blizzards, zombies, and teenage hormones.
Looks just like the sun by messageredacted
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This is why you are sitting in Can Town making your fifty-sixth scale replica of a sheep.
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“You have tits? When did that happen??”
He facepalms; “Last molt,” he grumbles from behind his palms.
“When you disappeared for a while? That’s what that was?”
“Yes Dave, when trolls reach that special molting phase, they grow rumblespheres. Mammals.”
He spits the last word as a curse and you’re pretty sure you’re offended.
Bookmarked by mostlyharmless
15 Feb 2015
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Dave and Karkat get it on for the first time, and Dave makes some very fun discoveries about Karkat's body.
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This is why you are sitting in Can Town making your fifty-sixth scale replica of a sheep.
Bookmarked by mostlyharmless
17 Mar 2015
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Preretcon meteorfic. Things with Rose and Terezi are weird and strained, respectively, and Dave is hitting surreal levels of lonely. He might not be the only one, though.
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“You need to shut the fuck up. I'm serious, it's driving everyone to distraction how much of an idiot you are. Nobody can concentrate on being a self-absorbed asshole when you're running around spouting bullshit from every orifice.”
Bookmarked by mostlyharmless
01 Apr 2015
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Preretcon meteorfic. Karkat is feeling lonely and shitty and self-loathing, and decides to work it off on the one person he hates more than himself. The steamy pitch fling on the kitchen table doesn't quite turn out the way he was expecting, though. The victory will go to the one that knows how to yield, indeed.
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Meteorside caliginous pwp.
Bookmarked by mostlyharmless
21 Apr 2015
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Preretcon meteorfic. Dave and Karkat do dirty things in a broom closet and trash talk the entire time.
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Dave and Karkat stumble upon something neither of them ever expected to find on the asteroid. Dave manages to coerce his new-found buddy into doing something that's totally NOT weird for friends to do - take a nice warm bubble bath together. Yeah, totally not weird.
Bookmarked by mostlyharmless
10 May 2015
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Dave is ecstatic when he and Karkat find a bath hidden away in the facility, and when he finds out Karkat's never had one he decides they should rectify that.
Bubble Baths and Bonding Time by Bloodsbane
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Dave never understood the idea of black romance until he accidentally found himself in a caliginous relationship with Karkat
Bookmarked by mostlyharmless
14 May 2015
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Preretcon meteorfic. Dave isn't sure what to think about Karkat's pitch feelings for him. Luckily he's got clever girls around him to help him sort his own feelings out (and luckily Karkat can do some really interesting things with his bulge).
Let's All Play Spades by pinkstarpirate
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It's gratuitous dreambubble smut, folks.
"Shut up," you growl, and roll over on top of him, hands on his shoulders, "Shut up, shut up, shut up, I am not the asshole here because I am not the one whose stupid dead self shows up playing grabass just to make it absolutely clear that I am the biggest romantic failure of all time, it is me, even alternate universe doomed timeline me can get laid but me, no, not me, if I were to get someone's pants off we'd all die, that's what this means, do you even realize that's what's going on here? No, of course you do not, because your weak human brain cannot comprehend basic causality. Which is why I need you to SHUT UP and also to go away so I can bang my head against the wall and wonder why I was ever hatched." You're panting a little by the time you force your mouth shut.
Bookmarked by mostlyharmless
19 May 2015
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While in a dream bubble, Karkat encounters a doomed Dave with prior experience in Vantas romancing and a whole lot of happy chill going on.
At Least One Universe by Circadienne
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After half a sweep already of going crazy with boredom while the meteor lab hurdles across the Void, Karkat and Dave have an altercation over the infamous "chart page" that goes all Costa Rica.
(Takes place soon after Act 6 Intermission 2)
Bookmarked by mostlyharmless
03 Jun 2015
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Karkat gets caught having a private hissy fit over the dick ouija page, which turns into a physical altercation that goes even more pear-shaped than the first one did.
The Jerk-Off by CleverChimaera
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Trolls have some weird priorities. They can’t bring themselves to invent conditioner, but they have automatic manicure kits and gossip about which blood caste produces the best in claw hygiene. Dave has never really given much thought to the state of his nails. His time is better spent memorizing lame movie quotes and actively *not* flirting with the grumpy troll version of the Second Coming.
On an unrelated note, being a teenage boy is hard. Literally. (Insert dick joke here.) It’s hard and having a hot sister doesn’t help in the slightest. Not that Dave finds his sister attractive in any way.
Nope, not going there.
Series
- Part 2 of A Little Off the Top
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 20,713
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 101
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- 2,504
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- 364
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- 39,629
Bookmarked by mostlyharmless
11 Aug 2015
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Preretcon meteorfic. Dave finds himself attending a good old sleepover in Kanaya's room. Rose brings the stereotypical party games, Karkat brings the manicure set, and Dave brings the miasma of obnoxious teenage hormones.
File It Down, Polish It Up by Introsquirrel
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The trolls aren't the only ones who have Alpha ancestors in the dream bubbles.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,796
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 39
- Kudos:
- 961
- Bookmarks:
- 108
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- 20,631
Bookmarked by mostlyharmless
11 Aug 2015
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Preretcon meteorfic. Karkat has a series of sexy dream bubble encounters with a dead older Dave, which leads to a very sexy threesome during which any questions Karkat may have had about the tangibility of his dream bubble self get thoroughly answered.
Reoccurring Dreams by Leticheecopae
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Karkat completely fails to not touch Dave's cape. Inspired by that one update.
Bookmarked by mostlyharmless
14 Aug 2015
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Preretcon meteorfic. Dave (well, really everyone who has to listen to Dave) suffers Karkat's new, bizarre and yep-totally-absolutely random cape touching obsession.
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Man, Dave thought getting through adolescence was a pain in the ass for HUMANS. He had no idea how good they have it, until he saw what trolls got to go through.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 14,232
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 93
- Kudos:
- 3,532
- Bookmarks:
- 500
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- 65,231
Bookmarked by mostlyharmless
14 Aug 2015
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Preretcon meteorfic. Dave is given some cryptic advice to go look for the obnoxious Karkat, and finds him in the bowels of the meteor in the middle of his harrowing adult moult. Dave can't exactly leave him like that, can he?
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Fruity Rumpus Asshole Factory, Concupiscent Frustration Edition by orphan_account
Fandoms: Homestuck
08 Apr 2012
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Otherwise known as, "How Karkat Vantas Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Himself"
It's only been a little over half a sweep since the beginning of the meteor's seemingly never ending journey through phases of extreme boredom and extreme insanity. Meanwhile, Karkat Vantas is, annoyingly enough, going through his own adolescent phases of extreme horniness, and there's no one around who will help to alleviate them.
No one except his own past and future selves, anyway.
Bookmarked by mostlyharmless
17 Dec 2015
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Preretcon meteorfic. Karkat spirals down the weird depths of transtimeline bulletin board self-cest, treading the line between self-abuse and self-help, while also trying to deal with a burgeoning crush on someone who actually isn't himself, and growing up in general.
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Your name is Karkat Vantas.
Your life is unnecessarily complicated.
Series
- Part 1 of Improvidence
Bookmarked by mostlyharmless
14 Jan 2016
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In a story that spans the entire three year journey and aftermath, Karkat and Dave navigate the messy tangle of relationships in their tiny group.
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Your Interpersonal, Intergalactic Relationship: A Beginner's Guide by sicklekind
Fandoms: Homestuck
03 Sep 2015
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A beginner's guide to playing hopscotch, overcoming internalized homophobia, and falling in love with your alien best friend.
Disclaimer: results may take up to three (3) years to appear.
Bookmarked by UndeadRejection
20 Feb 2016
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Bookmarker's Notes
fuckin christ this might be the best thing ive ever read jesus dick