Imnotrealipromise



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    After Arthur disobeyed his father and retrieved the Mortaeus flower for Merlin's cure, Arthur's frantic pleading to save Merlin led to a misunderstanding that actually convinced Uther to take the flower to Gaius.

    Now all Arthur has to do is explain to Merlin why Uther thinks they are lovers.

    And while Uther is supportive of the relationship, he requires it kept secret. But in his paranoia, Uther misinterprets every innocent interaction between the two as something far more intimate, to the embarrassment of everyone involved.

    And then the knights begin showing up...

    Update 27/04/2024: This is long and in-process. So consider a break between story arcs!

    Arc 1 - (chapters 1-32, 90k words) What happens when you accidentally tell your father you're gay and in love with Merlin and he ships it hard? You make it true.
    Arc 2 - (chapters 33-70, 110k words) What happens when your father sends you to court someone you have no interest in? Side quests and Gwaine.
    Arc 3 - (chapters 71+, in progress) What happens when your father invites every eligible woman to Camelot so you can find your wife like you promised in exchange for saving Merlin? Chaos.

    Language:
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    98/?
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    12 Aug 2025

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Ch 97

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    “What the hell is that, Batman.” Kal’s still not moving but he does look back now. “Because if I didn’t know any better I would say that was me.”

    “We have intel from a deserter at LexCorp that Luthor had gotten ahold of some of your DNA.” Bruce doesn’t know how to explain this without it … without it being terrible. “Through a fight, through his own strange methods, through kryptonite, who knows. He tried to clone it, but failed-”

    Kal’s jaw tightens “Bizzaro.”

    “This is a combination of your genes and a human donor, with some of J’onn’s DNA to hold it together.”

    Bruce can trace the Martian's contribution with the barest hint of the way the clone’s eye is shaped. Just an impression, a barest hint that would never be connected if Bruce hadn’t seen the files for himself.

    Kal bites in a terrible sound that emits from somewhere in his chest, a pitched keen that makes the hair on Bruce’s neck stand straight up. “Where is he?”

    --

    Sure, Kryptonians look human enough, but underneath all that flawless tanned human skin rests a creature that came from the stars.

    Language:
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    48,200
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    7/7
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    13 Jun 2025

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    “I don’t think you’re quite grasping the magnitude of the situation here, kitten whiskers. We’ve got a Spider-Man,” Wade stresses. “That wasn’t in the budget. We’re going so off script right now.”

    “Still haven’t got a clue who he’s supposed to be,” Logan grumbles.

    “Oh my god,” Wade swivels around to face Peter. “I’m so sorry. This is so embarrassing.”

    “No, it’s cool, man. I get it. I’m not - I mean, Peter 1 is like the Peter anyway. I’m just Peter 3.”

    “Okay. So he’s got a few self-esteem issues. We’ll work on that.”

    .

    Or: The TVA pulled the plug on Peter 3’s universe while he wasn’t in it. As a result, he’s forced to tag along on the Poolverine road trip. Every Deadpool has a Peter, right? Wade might have stolen his, just like he stole Logan, but like fuck he’s letting either of them go now.

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    3/?
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    07 Oct 2024

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    Okay. I was going to write a tumblr post about this that goes as follows:

    I know what we have in Netflix canon is Geralt going ‘we’re not friends’ at Jaskier several times

    But since we see like 0.1% of their friendship, and we only seem to drop in on their relationship in the midst of Geralt having a succession of Terrible Days, it’s INFINITELY FUNNIER to me if Geralt, in fact, tells Jaskier they’re friends just. Like. Just constantly. Except for when he’s in a bad mood. So it’s pretty hard for Jaskier to take it to heart when Geralt’s like We’re not friends. We’ve never been friends. I don’t even know why you’re here, or wearing a pendant that’s shaped like half of a heart and which reads “BE FRI” that I definitely didn’t give you. >:(

    Then I wanted to write a fic about it.

    And once I had finished the first one, I wasn’t quite done with the idea, so wrote a companion fic from Geralt’s perspective.

    Words:
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    142

    06 Sep 2024

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    This is exactly the sort of thing that would happen to them, and exactly the sort of thing they wished happened to someone else. Now, Anakin and Obi-Wan are not only at war, but they have a tiny, force-sensitive Skywalker on their hands.

    What could possibly go wrong?

    -

    Basically i send kid Luke back in time to deal with some emotionally constipated idiots, and fix the galaxy in the process.

    Language:
    English
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    Chapters:
    5/?
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    12 Mar 2024