Chapter Text
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Dean snorts in annoyance as Michael straightens his tie one last time in the mirror. The dick looks just fine, no need to rub it in. It’s not like Dean gives a shit that he’s going to miss the fundraiser full of boring old people, probably not any hot chicks, and uncomfortable shoes. Sweats were just fine by him. Michael looks like a tool.
He opens his mouth to tell him as much and thinks again, snapping it shut. It’s not the tool’s fault Dean can’t go, it’s squarely on Dean that he got caught when they did the annual prank at Pi Beta Kappa house. Well, his fault and Cas’s.
It was a tradition at Kansas U that the bros of Alpha Pi Epsilon (APEs) pranked their favorite rival fraternity as soon as the football season started. This year was no different, and Dean and Cas had been picked to head up the project. They had brainstormed and googled and came up with a plan that was sure to put them on the wall in the APE house Prankster’s Hall of Fame.
The idea was to bait and switch them. Set up a lame and overused prank (putting about 800 paper cups full of water all over the floor so you couldn’t get in), to lull the Kappa’s into a false sense of security, then hit ‘em with the big guns. And it had worked. Sort of.
It would have been just in good fun, and even the Kappa’s were rolling on the ground laughing, but Campus Security showed up and had to shit in their cornflakes, citing them for disturbing the peace, causing a nuisance, and public indecency. It would have been just that if Dean hadn’t decided to turn the foam cannon on the golf cart, knocking the fake cops out of it and earning them a suspension from all APE functions and parties for the next 6 weeks.
Dean ignores his roommate and leans to look at the calendar he has tacked to the wall. Six long Saturdays. No football games, no after parties, no benefits during pre-game. He hasn’t been home on a Saturday since Sammy was a kid, and it pisses him off.
But whatever.
“Hey man, you ready yet,” Benny’s voice calls from the hallway, “limo’s out front and I want to get wasted before we gotta rub elbows with these rich pricks.”
Michael grunts and grabs his wallet. “Dean, don’t touch my stuff.”
“Dude why would I-” Dean cut himself off. “Nevermind. You kids have fun.”
Benny grinned at him. “You lucky fucker. I’d skip this shindig if I could, I’d rather be watching the game from Cas’s couch hitting Bongzilla. But I guess Ima have to go get me a sugar mama tonight!”
Dean laughs and waves him off. He can hear the rest of his bros leaving the house, shouting and shoving out the door, obviously excited to go somewhere with free booze. The quiet when the door shuts is almost deafening. Almost.
When the ringing of silence starts to subside, Dean can hear the tv coming from Cas’s room. He was probably gonna watch the pregame and get high, so taking a note from Benny’s playbook, he heads down the hall barefoot and taps on Cas’s cracked door. Cas’s head swivels to Dean and he lets out an enormous cloud of smoke. Dean suppresses a grin as the sweet-smelling smoke floats around him. Cas smiles and motions him to come in.
Dean fishes his phone out of his pocket as he flops down on the worn-out lumpy couch.
“Pizza?” he grunts at Cas.
Cas returns the grunt and Dean puts in the order. They only have a brief exchange deciding on toppings, but as Cas is already a little too fucked up, Dean just snorts and tells the pizza guy what he wants. It’s probably a good thing he went ahead and ordered early- he plans to be tore up from the floor up with the hour.
Cas is already loading the bowl of Bongzilla, his fingers moving without much thought, just muscle memory. Dean’s a little captivated by the motion, and starts when Cas produces lighter, ready to give Dean the first hit. Dean takes a long pull and holds it, silently grateful that he’s not making an ass of himself like the last time he smoked with Cas. He had coughed for at least an hour. And worse yet, one hit had him so high he couldn't find his room two doors down.
Cas nods approvingly as Dean exhales and passes him the lighter, taking his own hit. Blowing out the smoke at an angle, he pulls a little drawer in the coffee table and riffles for a joint.
“I got started without you, so you gotta catch up,” he grins and hands Dean the joint.
Dean shrugs and lights it, glad for the distraction. It’s kind of weird hanging out with just Cas- usually at least Benny’s around. Dean’s okay with it, but he doesn't know Cas as well as some of the other guys. He knows Cas joined APE because his father blackmailed him in some way, and Michael is his older brother. He knows Cas likes weed more than anyone he knows, and that Cas stood up and took the fall with him over the Kappa foam party prank debacle. And that’s pretty fucking all right.
“Pizza,” Cas says, making Dean register that the doorbell just rang. Cas tosses a couple twenties his way and Dean retrieves the pizza. He’s hauling out a slice and handing it off to Cas when he realizes it.
Huh, Cas is pretty cool. I feel really comfortable around him. Must be the weed.
He shakes his head in dismissal and stuffs most of a slice of meat lover’s pizza in his mouth.
The pizza is quickly consumed and another bong is smoked. They take turns yelling at the tv during the game and laugh at the same dumb commercials. The game was almost up when something catches Dean’s eye.
Over by Cas’s bed (which was oddly neat and put together compared to the opium-den like ambiance of the rest of his room) stands a short bookcase stacked with VHS tapes. Dean jumps up and stumbles over to them to read the titles.
Licence to Drive, Weird Science, True Romance, Terminator and Terminator II, and-
“Raiders of the Lost Ark!” he exclaims, pulling the tape and studying the cover.
“Yeah, I got all of ‘em”, Cas responds, glancing over at Dean, tilting his head, “we can watch it if you want.”
“Hell yeah!” Dean darts back to the tv and notices for the first time the VCR stacked with the dvd player. “How come you got all these movies? Like VCRs are impossible to find anymore.”
Cas shrugs. “My other brother Gabriel gave his collection to me. I haven’t seen most of them, so I thought it might be amusing to watch ‘em. I really haven’t gotten around to watching many. Legends of the Fall was okay, I guess.”
Dean gapes at Cas. He shakes his head with determination. “Cas, ol buddy ol pal,” he says jovially as he feels the edge of the flatscreen for the power button to change the input, “you are in for a real treat-” A giant dick fills the tv screen inches from Dean’s face. He yelps in surprise and jumps back. “What the…”
As he watches, a hand, giant as well, comes into the shot and starts stroking the already hard member. Dean squints, wondering if it only looks really big because of the screen size, or if this dude was really endowed. The film looks grainy- the quality and the fact it’s on VHS puts it squarely in the nineties. “Jesus, that’s fucking big,” he mutters.
“No kidding,” Cas’s voice rumbles from behind him. “You should see what happens next.”
Dean turns to size Cas up. The guy was just kicked back, carefully rolling a joint with his impressive dexterity. He doesn’t look the least bit phased that a grainy old porno was dominating the screen in front of him. He may as well be talking about a youtube video of cats. Dean shrugs and moves to sit back on the couch, putting the Raiders tape on the coffee table.
“This one come with Gabriel’s tape collection?”
Cas huffs a laugh and scoots forward to reach the coffee table. He pulls out a large drawer in the bottom on his side and gestures for Dean to look. There are at least 35 VHS porn tapes stacked neatly in there.
Dean cackles out a laugh and Cas grins and waits for Dean to get ahold of himself. He finally quits giggling. “I guess that’s a different sort of collection.” It starts him off laughing again, well aware that he isn’t funny but it’s just good weed, and Cas joins in, chuckling in that low voice of his.
“Gabe gave me these too. I haven’t gotten around to watching them all either. They are pre-internet porn, which in itself is interesting.”
Dean marvels at the casual way Cas is talking about porn. Like it’s conversational. No big deal. He’s about to comment on it when a moan comes from the tv’s speakers.
They both glance up as a brunette with small perky boobs and long red fake nails is trying to shove the giant dick in her mouth.
Cas flaps a hand at Dean, excitedly. “This is it- wait for it…” Dean watches with wide eyes as she sucks down until her nose is buried in the man’s pubic hair.
“Oh my god!” Dean yells. “Where the fuck did it go?”
“I know, right?” Cas is on the edge of his seat laughing and clapping. “Shocked the hell out of me when I watched it earlier. I had to stop what I was doing, I was so impressed. Respect, Sheila, respect.”
“Sheila?” Dean asks, quirking an eyebrow but not looking away from the fantastic blowjob the guy was getting, “who’s Sheila?”
Cas pulls a couple more tapes out of the drawer. “Sheila Givens, it would seem. A favorite of Gabe’s and big in the nineties. I forgot to shut it off before the game so the VCR just keeps auto-rewinding and replaying. Who knows how many times Sheila has had that cock in her mouth the last few hours? I salute you, madam!” Cas holds his beer up to toast her and Dean follows suit. They laugh like crazy, but carefully don’t look at one another.
They settle back into the couch and continue to watch the film. Sheila gets up and pushes the man back onto a bed and hops on his dick and rides like a champ. Dean shifts in his seat, hoping Cas doesn’t notice the massive wood he sporting- it’s pretty obvious. But Cas hasn’t looked over and casually hands Dean the joint. Cas’s probably got a hard on too. It’d be impossible not to the way the brunette is smacking her ass loudly against her partner’s skin. Dean tries to covertly adjust himself, but his dick only takes that as a sign of further action. Dean suppresses a groan as Sheila lifts up and off and spins to ride the man backward cowgirl style. He clamps a hand down over his cock, sure he’s about to make a fool of himself, and makes a break for the half bath in Cas’s room. He is just shutting the door when he hears Cas call back at him, again casually, “lube’s in the top drawer.”
“Uh, thanks, man,” Dean stutters out, closing the door on Cas’s you’re welcome. The guy is just so cool with it. Dean shakes his head in amusement, squeezing his dick absently. He opens the top drawer, and lo and behold, there is a very large bottle of lube tucked in there. Damn that’s a lot of lube. Without preamble, Dean yanks his sweatpants and boxer briefs out of the way and allows his cock to spring free. He smiles down at it, admiring it, glad he was blessed with the dick in his hands. It’s slightly larger than average, thick, and tapered toward the root. He runs his fingers over the hot skin and watches his cock jump and sway at the contact. He snatches up the lube, coating his hand quickly and slicks it into himself with a gasp at the contrast of temperature. He slides his hand down a few times loosely, and lets out a small whine at the relief. He looks up and catches his reflection above the sink. He likes the way is hand looks moving over his flushed and hardened skin, thumbing over the slit on every other stroke, drawing out the pleasure. His other hand wanders up his shirt and rubs lightly over a nipple, and causes him to shiver. Dean pulls the shirt over his head and watches as he hardens his nipples with his fingertips as he strokes his cock with long even strokes. He runs his hand down to tug lightly at his balls, watching his fingers trace around them and moving a little further back to press on his perineum. He is slightly hunched over, trying to get the right angle, and has the brilliant idea to hike a leg up on the toilet lid and get at it better. It is such a better angle that Dean finds himself racing toward the finish fucking his fist with vigorous, squelching thrusts. He wants to savor the moment, but knows Cas is out there knowing what he’s doing and he should probably hurry. His thoughts settle on the porn he saw on the tv moments ago, that thick cock disappearing into Sheila’s mouth, and he feels the familiar heat build, his mind racing as he chases his orgasm. He’s vaguely aware that he’s still pretty high as his mind bounces around on different images. Sheila giving head, Sheila reverse cowboy, Cas loading the bong, Cas with all the porn tapes, Dean’s girlfriend Lisa, Cas casually telling him where the lube is kept, Cas probably jerking off in the other room, the giant cock on the tv screen-
He grunts and comes, panting out in time with the pulses of his cock, squeezing out every last bit, over the sink, watching it splatter onto the basin. He leans on his free hand and takes steadying breaths. He sees himself in the mirror and gives himself a goofy grin. That was pretty alright. He runs the tap and washes his come down the drain and tucks himself away. He washes his hands and puts the lube back where he found it. Being a good neighbor, I guess. He snorts laughter and walks out of the bathroom.
“Whew, damn!” he exclaims, no really feeling embarrassment about the situation. Cas holds up the ‘rock on’ hand signal and chuckles without turning around. Dean wonders if the guy had jerked it real quick or he had already taken care of business before Dean arrived. The second seems more likely since Cas looks like he hasn’t moved from his spot.
Dean flops down on the couch again and takes the offered bong, happily noticing that Cas has already put in the Raiders tape. Guess he has moved. Dean glances over and sees a bottle of lotion on the coffee table. That answers that question, he thinks with a chuckle.
Cas lifts an eyebrow as Dean takes a hit. Dean shakes his head and coughs.
“Yeah I was just thinking about middle school- a bunch of us would hang out at my buddy Victor’s house for a sleepover and watch porn on his laptop. He had bunk beds, so there’d be someone on the top and bottom and the floor, and we’d all jerk off pretending the others weren’t there. One time Victor forgot to lock the door and his mom almost walked in. Never seen anyone move faster than Vic jumping up to shut his laptop. His mom thought we were getting stoned, so it was all good.”
Cas is doubled over with laughter, tears at the corners of his eyes. Dean grins at him, thrilled at getting him to laugh so hard.
“Jesus,” Cas wheezed when he calmed down, “imagine growing up with 4 brothers. My poor mom always had to announce herself loudly before entering a room. She stood up at breakfast one morning and declared that everyone was washing their own sheets from then on, and if she kept finding random socks stashed in different places- even the garage- there’d be hell to pay. I swear she bought stock in Kleenex- there were boxes located all over the house.”
Dean slides to the floor as he reaches the point of silent laughter, tears streaming down his cheeks. “That poor woman,” he gasps finally, “you should send her a fruit basket.”
Cas grins back at him and nods. “Yeah, she ran a tight ship. Had to with five boys. Breakfast was unusually quiet that morning.”
That sets Dean off again, and it’s several minutes before he and Cas settle down enough to watch the movie. Dean restrains himself from reciting all the lines, but can’t help filling Cas in on the different special effects used in each scene. Cas doesn’t seem to mind, and asks questions. It was overall the best screening of Raiders Dean has ever had. Sammy would always get mad at him for talking during the movie.
“You seem to know an awful lot about movie production,” notes Cas as the credits roll.
Dean nods. “Yeah I thought about going to film school, but my old man wanted me to get a more practical degree. Like business. But I’m still undeclared.”
Cas twitches a smile. “Well at least there’s still time to switch up. Pretty sure I’m going to end up being a tax accountant no matter what I do. It’s boring, and I’m following in my dad’s footsteps and all, but hell. I’m good at it and it comes easy, so gotta get my kicks elsewhere.”
He punctuates that statement with a long bong pull. Dean looked at him with respect. He would have never pegged the tie-dye wearing, ruffled hair, barefoot pothead hippie as an accountant. But why not?
“Bro, I’m cashed. Ima head to bed. Thanks for the movie night.” Dean stands to leave, staggering slightly.
“Yeah, anytime,” Cas says. “Hey, let's do it again next Saturday. Might as well since we’re out for another five weeks.”
“Don’t remind me,” Dean says, rolling his eyes, “your brother is being such a douche about it to, like who died and made you fucking princess of frat activities. I hate having him as roommate, no offense.”
Cas waves him off. “Yeah been there, my friend, only reason I got the single room this year is because he lost it in a bet with me on the championship last year. Little bitch is bitter about it still. Fuck ‘em.”
Dean laughs and says his goodbyes. He pulls his phone out and texts Lisa.
Dean: You still at the afterparty?
…
Lisa: sorry, was holding Becky’s hair back. Bitch can’t hold her liquor
Dean: don’t I know it. My backseat will never smell right again
Lisa: Ugh don’t remind me. Couldn’t hold my nose when I went down on you last week, remember?
Dean: I remember coming all over your face
Lisa: stfu Dean ;)
Dean chuckles. Lisa is a pretty good sport.
Lisa: Listen, I gotta get back. You want me to come over after?
Dean thinks about it for a second. If he hadn’t just had a spectacular orgasm a couple of hours ago, he might’ve taken her up on it.
Dean: Nah, it’s already 2. You should go home and get some sleep. Text me in the morning.
Lisa: ok cool. Got to get these drunk bitches back to the house anyway. I got picked as DD but whatever, I won’t be hungover as fuck
Dean: true dat. Night
Lisa: Night
Dean plugs his phone into the charger by the bed. Lisa’s a pretty alright chick. Not love or anything, but she seems fine with it and doesn’t ask for too much from him. And gave fantastic head. So that was a plus.
Dean closes his eyes with thoughts of Lisa’s pretty lips wrapped around his cock, and drifts off into a deep sleep only weed can provide.