Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Jungshook  created group chat

Group Chat Name:
Group Chat

Jungshook added JimJams, Taelien, DBoi, Hosock, Monie and Eomma to the chat.

Hosock:  Really Jungkook?

Jungshook:  Shut up hyung, Ik we already have a group chat

JimJams:  Then wht

Monie:  Couldn't you have thought of a better chat name?

Jungshook:  Whatever hyung

DBoi:  Honestly u guys, I'm tryna sleep, y u blowin up ma fone

Monie:  *Phone

DBoi:  Shut up

Taelien:  Yall r so funny

DBoi:  Stfu, I'm muting u guys

Hosock:  Whats up wit him today?

Monie:  Nah, nothing he's just Yoongi.

Taelien: Tru^

Eomma:  Children?

JimJams:  Yeh ma?

Eomma:  I'm going to the shop, yall want anything

JimJams:  Oooh yess

JimJams:  Ice cream

Hosock:  Nah nothin mom

Eomma:  Alright Hobi. Tae?

Taelien: Ramyun

Eomma: Tae there are nine packs left, we don't need more sweetie

Taelien:  No there aren't

Eomma:  Wdym?

Taelien: They gone

Eomma:  Gone where

Taelien:  ...

Taelien:  Not important

Eomma:  KIM TAEHYUNG DO YOU MEAN TI TELL ME THAT YOU ATE NINE PACKS OF RAMYUN SINCE YESTERDAY

Hosock:  *to

Eomma:  Not now Hobi.

JimJams:  That full stop scares me

Eomma:  Kim Taehyung???

Taelien:  ...

Taelien:  yeesss?

Eomma:  Answer me

Taelien is now offline.

Eomma:  Kim Taehyung, I can find you, Ik wher u sleep

Monie:  *where

Eomma:  Stfu Joon

Monie:  I just enter the group to help your grammar and I honestly feel so attacked right now.

Eomma:  No one cares

Monie:  Well damn

Monie is now offline.

Jungshook:  Agh, hyungs the reason I made dis group is coz I gotta question but sure nvmd

Taelien:  What you wanna ask Jungkookie?

Eomma:  Wtf?!! So now you're online

Jungshook:  I wanted to know if its safe to buy roast duck from a guy on da street

Hosock: Who the fuxk sells rosat duxk on the street I'M CaCKLiNg

Taelien:  Don't buy it

JimJams:  Yh, seems dojjy

Taelien:  Lmao, Chim its dodgy

JimJams:  Oh

JimJams:  Well

JimJams:  idgaf

Hosock:  Wooo savege Chim

Taelien:  ^^^

DBoi:  Its savage not savege wtf learn how to spell you illiterate hooligans

 Monie:  (Look who's talking)

DBoi:  (Chill the fuck out, I just choose not to spell properly cause I ain't got time for all of your shit)

Taelien:  Now dats  the real savage

JimJams:  Or should we say... SAVEGE @DBoi

DBoi:  O fuxk of, I honestly dk y i try wit yall

Taelien:  Don't treat your baby like that Yoongi hyung  ;)

DBoi has left the group chat.

Taelien added DBoi to the chat.

DBoi has left the group chat.

JimJams added DBoi to the group chat.

DBoi:  Fine Ill nevr win bai losers

Hosock:  #whipped

DBoi: Huh?

Hosock: oh nothing just mentioning how whipped Yoongz is for Jiminie

JimJams:  Idk wht ur talking abt

Taelien:  Suuure Jiminie ;)

DBoi: Uh what

Taelien:  Oh thought you gave up on us hyung ;)

DBoi:  oh fuck off

DBoi has muted the chat.

DBoi is now offline.

Eomma: KIM TAEHYUNG!!!!!

Taelien:  Oh fuck

Eomma: Ytf aren't you answering me

Taelien: Bai guise this iz ehere i leaf

Hosock: Bye

JimJams:  Be careful Taetae, I still want you as a vmin broo~ :'-(

JimJams:  don't die Tae

JimJams:  but if u do die can i have your PlayStation

Monie:  wtf chim

JimJams:  a guys gotta do what a guys gotta do man

JimJams:  Desperate times call for despearte messhures

Monie: whatever

Monie: *measures

Monie:  How do you spell desperate correct and then in then say it the second time in the same statement spell it all wonky? Your spelling is attrocious.

JimJams:  Ur attrocious hyung 

Monie:  I-

Monie: the  disrespect

JimJams:  ;)

Monie is now offline.

Hosock:  oooooh i got jelly beans

JimJams:  fuck gimme some hyung

Hosock:  Sure, come over to my room chim chim

DBoi:   What

Taelien:  ooh someones jealous

Eomma:   Kim Taehyung 

Taelien:  Fuck by for real

Jungshook: You never really answered my question guys

DBoi:  Dont buy tye fucjing duxk Jungkook.

Jungshook:  :(

DBoi:  Go to sleeo Kook

Jungshook:  :(

Read by DBoi and 5 others

Chapter Text

Group Chat Name:

Group Chat

Eomma:  Turns out that Taehyung-ah here ate 9 packs of ramyun while watching anime till 4am

Hosock:   Damn Tae

JimJams:  Kook don't seem to be here so

JimJams:  OH MAN HOLLY SHITT

Hosock:  Nice Chim

JimJams:  ;D

Eomma:  Annd  he finished the Pringles

Monie:  Care to explain Tae

Taelien:  No.

Eomma:  And why not?

Taelien:  Because.

Eomma:  I am not satisfied with that answer

Taelien:  Shame.

Taelien is now offline.

Monie:  Come back here and answer your mother Tae

Monie:  Tae

Hosock: I dont think hell be back anytym soon Joon

Monie:  Sigh

Eomma: Wortha try

JimJams:  sorry hyungs

JimJams:  I really don't know what has gotten into Tae these days

JimJams:  D:

DBoi:  Hey Jimin

Hosock:  ...

JimJams:  Oh hey Yoongi hyung

Hosock:  Wow

JimJams:   Whats wrong Hobi hyung?

Eomma:  Yoongi-yah, have you seen Tae?

Hosock:  Wait wat happnd to Tae?

DBoi:   @Eomma  u'll use evry chance u have to call me Yoongi-yah wont you?

Eomma:  Yes but thats beside tge point Yoongi-yah

Eomma:  have u seen TAE??!

JimJams:  Stop hyung I'm so worried now

JimJams:  :(

DBoi:  Dont wory Jiminie we'll find Tae

Hosock:  "wory"

DBoi:  Shut it horse face

Hosock:  HEY dont be so rude and  savege  in front of your  "Jiminie"  Yoongz

DBoi:  1.  I aint being rude, u literally got a horse face  Horseok

DBoi: 2.  He is not  "my"  Jiminie

DBoi:  3.  Don't call me Yoongz

JimJams:  But Yoongz sounds cute

JimJams:  And plz dont be a meanie  @DBoi  I wanna find Taetae

DBoi:  ...

Hosock:  whipped

DBoi:   @Hosock  shut it

JimJams:  Yooongi hyuung :(

DBoi: Fine. I saw him grab a hoody and head out

Monie:  Somehow, your spelling and grammar are acceptable now.

DBoi:  Stfu 

JimJams:  Thank you thank yoouu Yoongz hyung

DBoi:  

Hosock:  I think you broke him Chim

JimJams:  ?

Hosock:  *facepalms to the moon*

JimJams:  ??

Hosock:   dw abt it 

DBoi:  Yeah dw Jiminie

JimJams:   okay?

Eomma:   and @DBoi  Yah Yoongi-yah leave ma man alone to correct your grammer, stop being an asshole and help

Monie:

Hosock:  Jin hyung i think u broke Joonie   

Eomma:  Yes Ik Hobi, and I am your mother not your hyubg

JimJams:  Can anyone be a  "hyubg"

Hosock:  Savege Chim 

DBoi:  what do u want from me  @Eomma  i alredy told u Tae left

DBoi:  N for THE LAST TIME u are not our mother, we didn't develop in ur womb fir nine months or any of that

Hosock:  Yoonmin is so savege today damn

JimJams:  whats a yoonmin

Hosock:  *facepalms to wherever Tae is*

Hosock:  a yoonmin is...

Hosock:   a foot fungus

JimJams:   i am confused

Hosock:  i know Jimin

JimJams:  @Hosock  okay...?   NEVERMIND FOOT FUNGI, WHERE TF IS MY TAE TAE

DBoi:

Hosock:  cough cough jealous cough

Eomma:   @DBoi  Maybe you could... oh Idk  TELL US WHAT DIRECTION HE WENT IN?! DID HE SAY SOMETHING

DBoi:  aish this hyung

DBoi:  y are u so annoying  @Eomma 

JimJams:  Yoongi hyung pleease

DBoi:

Hosock:  ...

Hosock:  Kook aint here so

Hosock:  Oh mann holy shitt

Jungshook:  hai I am hyere who ssay I not heer(?

Monie:  ...Kook?

Jungshook:   Mm?

Monie:  Are you drunk?

Jungshook:  drinj whats drunl?

Jungshook:  oh no not drunkk

Monie:  ...are you sure?

Jungshook:  I think so

Eomma:  great so now Kook is drunk n Tae is stilll missng

JimJams:  Tae  :(

Jungshook:   Oh Tae is here

Eomma:   WHAT?!!

Jungshook:  mm oh yeah he kem over to help me

Jungshook:   i kept throwing up

Hosock:  damn

JimJams:  is Tae okay?!

DBoi:

Jungshook:  Gee thanks

Monie:  Jungkook?

Eomma:  You were THROWING UP?!

Jungshook:   yeah didnt i say that

Hosock:  *facepalms*

DBoi:  *facepalms to Daegu*

JimJams:  *face palms to Busan*

Jungshook:  :) Oh yay r we going tp all these place?

Taelien:  *facepalms till Cypher Part 5*

DBoi:  gotta admit, that was a good one  @Taelien

Monie:  Yup.

JimJams:  TAE!!!!

Jungshook:  @Taelien  oh hey hyungie ur up

DBoi:  Can I be the first to say

DBoi:  whipped

Taelien:  do you have a whipping kink Yoongi hyung?

JimJams: 

DBoi:

Jungshook:   Wooo yeah ma boyfriend is so savege

Taelien:

Hosock:  1.  Boyfriend

Hosock:   2.  Cant tell if that  "savege"  was on purpose or not...  ㅎㅅㅎ

Jungshook:  how is savege on purpose??

Jungshook:  AND I ment  boyfriend as in  friend-who-is-a-boy 

Jungshook:  not romantically

Taelien is offline

JimJams:  Jung KOOK YOU PABO 

Hosock:  *facepalms till won is stronger than US dollar

Jungshook:  what???!!

JimJams:

Monie:

Hosock:

Jungshook:  oh shit

DBoi:  you stupid fuck

Jungshook:  shit

Hosock:  @DBoi   tru but at least taekook is not reduced to a foot fungus

JimJams:  ...what does that yoonmin foot fungus have to do with anything?

Eomma:  

DBoi is offline.

Eomma:  nvmd

Jungshook:  shit

Jungshook:   what do i do

Monie:

Monie:  didnt you say Tae is with you now

Jungshook:  yeah,  so he's at my house

Hosock:

JimJams:

Jungshook:   ohh

Hosock:  *facepalms*

Eomma:  Jungkook 

Monie:  GO. TO. TAE.

JimJams:  N dont be a meanie to him

Jungshook:   @JimJams  never a meanie to Taetae

Jungshook:  but yeah okay wish me luck

Hosock:  good luck

Eomma:  good luck

Monie:   good luck

JimJams:  good luck

DBoi is online

Dboi:  good luck kid

Taelien:   now tht i read tge whole of todays chat i see all the yoonmin drama

Jungshook:  heyyy Taehyungiieee~

Taelien:   hiii Kookie :)

Jungshook:  

Hosock:  u broke him Tae

Taelien:  :'(

 Jungshook:  dw I'm fine

Taelien:  :)

Hosock:  wow Taekook rising

Hosock:  still not as dramatic as yoonmin all day

JimJams:  but... how does a foot fungus be dramatic all day? Or dramatic at all

DBoi:  

JimJams:   ??? You said yoonmin was a foot fungus

Jungshook:  wtver u say Jimin

Jimin:   its hyung to you brat

Jungshook:  Wtver u say Jimin

Taelien:  lmao

JimJams:  still... how is a foot fungus relevant???

Hosock:  mm... so yeah abt that... uh... goodnight

JimJams:   ????

Taelien:  cough cough ahem yes good night    @Jungshook   @DBoi    @Hosock

Taelien:  n  good luck   @JimJams

DBoi: 

Jungshook:  damn

Jungshook:  night everyone, sweet dreams Tae~

Taelien:  night and you too Kook  :)

Hosock:   ...

JimJams:  ...

DBoi:  whipped.

Eomma:  go to sleep Yoongi-yah, no one cares for your whipping kink

DBoi:   ㅎㅅㅎ

Hosock:   except maybe a certain foot fungus

Eomma:  the world is a wonderful place, night everyone

JimJams:  ???????????

Read by 6 others

Chapter Text

Group chat name:

Group Chat

Taelien: HATERDEUREUN MANJI BUH NO PROBLEM I KILLL

Hoesock:  Tae it's like 3am

Taelien:  I WILL NOR GIVE UP UMTIL I AM ADDSD TO CYPHER!!!1!!!¡

Dboi:  Mayb if u could rap u would b

Taelien:  *gasps in Korean*

Taelien:  how dare you!?

Taelien:  *insterts offended Jungkook meme face*

Jungshook:  i-

Taelien:  fuck you Yoongi

Hosock:  :O

DBoi:  Baby watch your mouth, it come back around

JimJams:  baby?!

Jungshook:  baby?!

Taelien:  ONCE UPON A TIME WE LEARNT HOW TO FLY

Monie:  honestly

Monie:  nvmd

Eomma:  DID YOU SEE MA BAG, DID YOU SEE MA BAG

Monie:  oh no

Monie:  not you too Jin

Eomma:  HEY

Eomma:  STOP IT

DBoi:  You're the one who made a song abt beatng pussy Joon-ah

Monie:  i-

Hosock:  uh guys

Hosock:  no joke I rlly can't find my bag

JimJams:  BAHAHAHAHA

Hosock:  :/

JimJams:  why do you even need it now its like 7am on a Friday

Hosock:  oh idk MAYB COZ I HAVE A MORNING KECTURE IN LESS THAN HALF AN HOUR AND STILL HAVEN'T LEFT MY DORM OR SHOWERED YET AND I CAN'T FIND THJS FCKING BAG

Monie:  Kecture

JimJams:  Kecture

DBoi:  Kecture

Eomma: Kecture

Jungshook: Kecture

Taelien is now online.

Taelien: Kecture

Jungshook: Lmao Tae came online just to say that

JimJams:  Ikr, he evn stopped his excessive Cypher marathin

DBoi:  *applause*

Eomma: hey guys

Jungshook:  wait is tjis what I think its is

Eomma:  shut up you seagull looking ass

Jungshook:  i-

Monie:  hyung no

Eomma:  hush young Joony boi

Eomma:  So guise

Eomma:  How did Big Bang perform their song on stage?

DBoi:  ...

Taelien:  AH HOW COULD I FORGET?! IT'S BANG BANG BANG TIME NOW!!!! Thx for the ifea hyubg

Eomma:  *mom

Jungshook:  ...

Jungshook:  Fxxk it, I wanna know

Monie:  ...was that

JimJams:  ...a

Taelien:  ...BigBang reference?

Jungshook:  maybe

Eomma:  HEY 

Eomma: STOP IT

Eomma:  How did Big Bang perform their song?

DBoi:  jst get it ovr with 

Eomma:  DAESUNG IT

DBoi: ...

JimJams:  ngl I snorted lol

DBoi:  ...

Jungshook:  ...snorted what Jimin, cocaine?

JimJams:  aish this kid

JimJams:  and its hyung to you 

Jungshook:  wtver u say Jimin

Taelien:  DAESUNG IT OMGFGHH HYING!!!1!!¡ LOL

 DBoi: ...god

Monie: ...

Monie: Hey guys, what happened to Hobi?

Hosock:  ...my bag was in the fridge

DBoi:  okay wtf

Hosock:  idk it just ???

DBoi:  nevermind nevermind

Monie:  ...Can't tell if that was on purpose or not.^

Eomma:  Hey guys

Jungshook:  oh no

Eomma:  what did I say about seagull asses?!

Eomma: so guys

Eomma:  What do you call a fly with no wings?

DBoi:  ...

Hosock:  okay wow I'm actually curious

JimJams:  hey! Classes just ended :D

DBoi:  Hey Jimin

JimJams:  afternoon Yoongo hyung

Hosock:  smh

Taelien:  "Yoongo hyung"  omg deceased

Jungshook:  hey TaeTae!

JimJams:  thats hyung to you

Jungshook:  whatever you say Jimin

JimJams:   -_-

Hosock:  WAIT WAIT WAIT

Hosock: I wanna know what a fly without wings is called

Eomma:  ah, my favourite child.

Taelien:  offensive

Jungshook:  wait I thot I was the favourite kid

DBoi:  tf we aren't even his kids

Hosock:  Kook do you know what a thot is...?

Jungshook:  No why

Monie:  Okay okay lets let hyung tell his joke

Eomma:  love you Joonie

Monie:  *Chokes*

Jungshook:  kinky

Hosock:  no jungkook not our parents god

DBoi:  not our parents at all

JimJams:  just tell the joke hyung

Eomma: what do you call a fly without wings?

Jungshook:  ...

Taelien:  ...

Hosock: gosh how are you two so in sync (man I love NSync btw)

Monie:  Idk Jin-hyung

Eomma:  a WALK

Taelien:  oh

Jungshook:  my

Hosock: god

JimJams:  I'm actually so done rn lmao 

Monie: lol

Eomma:  Ik Ik I'm amazing, bow down to me, my royal subjects

DBoi:  ...

DBoi has left the group

Hosock: who's gonna do it?

Taelien:  I vote Jimin ;)

JimJams: Aish

Jungshook:  ulgo shipji anha~~ 

Monie:  uh wtf Jungkook

Jungshook:  what? Issa good song

Hosock: ok but tru

JimJams added DBoi to the chat

DBoi:  ffs

Taelien:  :P

JimJams: mhm be careful wit dem tongues around Kookie Tae

Hosock:  wha

Monie:  i-

Jungshook:  ...

Eomma:  yes i taught you well chimney my son

JimJams:  ;)

Hosock: Lmfao chimney

Jungshook:  okay but the real question is

Hosock:  changing subject I see

Jungshook: stfu I was just gonna ask how tf ur bag got in the fringe

Eomma:  fringe

Taelien: fringe

DBoi: fringe

JimJams: fringe

Monie: fringe

Hosock:  fringe

Jungshook:  FRIDGE ffs

Jungshook: hello?

Jungshook:  um?

DBoi: Go away ffs Kook I was about to fall asleep

Jungshook:  :/

Taelien:  dw kookie you can pm me :)

Jungshook:  :D

DBoi:  ffs-

Eomma:  hush Yoongi-yah your dreams await, full of foot fungi and mochi~

Hosock:  Lmao hyUnG

Eomma:  *mom

JimJams: again with the foot dungi

JimJams:  *fungi

Taelien:  lmaO DuNGi

Monie:  smh

DBoi:  ffs bye

JimJams: aw nighty Yoongles hyung~

Hosock:  awwww

DBoi: ...

DBoi:  goodnight Jimin.

Eomma: yes goodnight Yoongi-yah~

DBoi: is2g

Seen by 6 others.