Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The moment the door of the Institute’s elevator slid close, Magnus let out a shallow breath. His heart was racing, his soul, if he had one anyway, was yearning for Alexander. His mind was playing him the sad face of his beloved hunter when he tried to convince Magnus that they can work things out.

Sure, they probably could. They loved each other, no doubt here. But they were both on the opposites side of the upcoming war. Magnus needed to keep his head clear to make the right decisions for himself and his people.

Alec needed to do the same, especially now, when Jonathan targeted the young Max, almost killing him.

They couldn’t be distracted by love in hard times of a war.

As soon as he stepped out of the Institute, Magnus portaled to his loft. There were so many things of Alexander here, reminding him constantly of the young man. His favorite white mug, still not cleaned after three days, when Alec was the last time here. One of his black long sleeved shirts was loosely laying in the corner of their... Magnus’s bedroom, long forgotten when they were stumbling in here last week, kissing and undressing each other in the midway.

Bane bent and picked the clothing from the floor. He brought it to his nose and sniffed. It still smelled like Alexander, with slightly sweat, his cologne and the sandalwood body wash, Alec liked to steal from Magnus’s bathroom.  He didn’t even know when precisely his boyfriend moved in with him for good. Yet, there were so many things of Alec’s here. His second stele, his blades discarded around the whole apartment, since Alec loved to be the precaution of every possibility, ever since the Azazel incident.

Magnus took off his jacket and purple shirt and before he knew, he pulled Alec’s shirt on himself, inhaling it. He walked out of his bedroom to the living room. Magnus poured himself a glass of scotch and sat down on his favorite turquoise chair. However, he did not drink. Instead, he looked down in the caramel colored drink, as if it had every answer he needed right now.

The rose from Seelie Queen was black already, Magnus knew he needed to hasten his thinking. He needed to make a valid decision. But he couldn’t. His mind and heart were still running around Alexander Lightwood.

A soft knock shook him out of his thoughts.

“Magnus? I know you’re in there, I can smell you.” The familiar voice with a Spanish accent called out. “Open up.”

The warlock waved his hand and magically opened the door. Raphael Santiago waltzed inside with a concerned look. He wore his best black designed suit with a deep blue silk shirt underneath it. As always, Raphael was lacking any tie. He didn’t like them, just like Magnus didn’t.

“I heard what happened in the Seelie Court today. Luke called me and told everything.” The vampire came to sit down on the opposite chair. “We sho…” When he looked up at his friend’s face with his red puffy eyes, Raphael cut his words. “What happened, Magnus?”

“I’m fine.”

“You’re not,” he stated firmly. “I know you, Magnus. I can see something is wrong. Tell me.”

“I need to make a hard decision and don’t know what to do.” The vampire nodded to that. “I really don’t know.”

“Did you talk to Alec about Seelie Queen’s idea about standing against the Clave?” Magnus shook his head. “Did something happened between you and your shadowhunter?”

“He’s no longer mine,” Magnus added silently, fighting new tears coming to his eyes. At that, Raphael’s eyes widened in a shock. “I need to do what’s best for our people and Alec...I couldn’t make a decision...he was holding me back from doing what’s right.”

“Let me understand it, mi amigo.” Raphael leaned and grabbed Magnus’s ringed right hand in his. “You broke up with Alec because you think it will help you protect our people?”

A curt nod was the only answer of the warlock.

“This is the stupidest thing I have ever heard from you, even stupider than your adventures in Peru that Ragnor told me about,” Santiago commented, rolling his eyes. “Please explain, Magnus, how do you think you’ll be protecting our people when you’re in pain.” Magnus opened his mouth to say something. “I can see it in your eyes. You’re hurting, I’m sure he’s hurting just as much. Magnus...I cannot believe I am defending a shadowhunter now. He loves you and you love him. I’ve never seen you so much in love in my entire lifetime. Maybe you did help the shadowhunters lately a bit too much, but that’s how you are. You help those who need it, Magnus. You took me in, you practically raised me as a vampire, even though you didn’t have to. You made me your family, your people. Same as you Alec, Isabelle, Jace and even Max, Clary, Simon...they all became your people as well. Look...I care for Isabelle, even though this care born out of the addiction to her blood. But I do care for her, I see her as a person to protect, same as you see all of that shadowhunters.”

“But the Seelie Queen...she’s the most powerful ally in the downworld. She wants to unite the downworlders to protect our people.” Magnus explained, finally taking a sip of his scotch. “We need her, and she will never ally herself with the Clave.”

“I don’t want to ally with the Clave either. They’re bunch of liars. But I am not stupid enough to go and break the accords for a union.” Raphael expressed, taking the glass out of Magnus’s hand. “And you’re not either. Think Magnus, do you want an alliance with the Seelie Queen who will always choose the winning side? Just think, if by any chance Valentine and his son would be winning in this war, do you think that the Seelie Court will stand by the side of downworlders who will try to fight for their survival? Her realm is magical, it protects its people. Plus, even if somehow the mortal instruments will be working like it should meaning it could wipe those who has the demon blood… the seelies will hide in the Court and use their angels' blood to save themselves. What do we have?”

Magnus shrugged his arms in a response.

“She won’t hide all of us in her Court.”

“So you think that I should  not ally with her?” Magnus asked unsurely. “Then how should we protect our people? Ally with the Clave? Let me remind you, they hid the truth about the Soul Sword from us.”

“Yes they did, and it’s bad, since your boy...Alec promised full transparency between shadowhunters and downworlders, but...I think I understand Alec…” Magnus gave him a confused look. “It’s not that I’m on his side here. I’m always on yours, but, as Luke told me what had happened and the look on your face tells me everything. I think that Alec kept it from you, for your own good. Just listen. Alec is in love with you and he didn’t want you to be in danger, so he maybe tried to find the best way to tell you. But Luke’s sister beat him in this. I know those instruments are dangerous and sacred to the Shadowhunters. Imagine, if the whole downworld would know about it and figured out you knew all along because you used to sleep with the Head of the Institute? They could rebel against you, Magnus.”

“I can protect myself from the downworlders. I’m centuries old, Rapha.”

“Yes, but for Alec, you are his beloved boyfriend and he needs to protect you.” Magnus let Raphael’s words sag in his mind. He was right, but still, Alec’s lie hurt him. “Do you remember, how Valentine attacked the Institute and our people died? Isabelle was with me then. Alec kept calling her for help, but I couldn’t let her go and possibly die. I care about her and that’s why I decided to go instead and hid her phone so she could be safe. Alec wanted the same for you and you want the same for him.”

“What should I do then, huh? Throw away the offer she made and go back running to be a pet warlock for the Clave?”

“No,” Raphael answered firmly. “You don’t have to be the Clave’s pet. And you don’t have to be her ally in her stand against the Clave. Look, you have my support and Luke’s too. You have my clan, Luke’s pack and I’m sure warlocks living in here will ally with you, not her. She’s manipulative wench, caring just for her own self. She will betray all of us when she’ll figure out that it is not as easy as she thought. She may be ancient, but even she cannot predict how this will end.”

“When did you become so wise, my boy?”

“Years of friendship with Ragnor.” Magnus laughed at this reply. “Magnus you don’t have to shut your heart to protect our people. I think that love is making you stronger. Don’t close your heart again. You deserve to be happy.”

“What about you, huh?” The warlock asked, wiping the tears away from his cheeks.

“If you are asking about me and Isabelle than we were never meant to be together. I do care for her, but I cannot give her what she desires and what she deserves.” Raphael explained, patting Magnus’s knee in encouragement. “Now go, and mend things with your shadowhunter. Use your time with him while you still can. The war is coming, let yourself have at least joy in your heart, mi amigo.”

Magnus’s cat eyes shined as he got up from the couch. He snapped his fingers and conjured himself a wonderful outfit to woo his hunter again. Magnus sent a short message to the Seelie Court and stepped into the portal that appeared next to him. He knew he has to inform the Seelie Queen of his decision first then he will talk to Alexander.

“I am utmost sad, you did not decide to ally with me, Magnus Bane. You’re choosing the losing side.”

“I am not choosing either side. I will be joined by Raphael Santiago’s clan and Luke Graymark’s pack.” Magnus stated his decision. “I won’t join the Clave, but I refuse to start the feud between the downworld and shadowhunters when we are at the war with Valentine and his son. This isn’t a time to start another war. We all have the same purpose, killing the common enemy. I won’t follow the Clave’s rules, but I won’t break the accords for your liking, my Lady. We need to unite against Valentine and Jonathan, not the Clave. If your grace will join us, we will stand more chances against the Morgensterns. Make your decision my Queen, for all, we won’t break the accords. We will fight for our survival but without the pointless deaths.”

She nodded to that and waved Magnus off. As soon as he left her realm, Magnus felt relieved. His heart was light and beating in the proper rhythm again. He knew he did the right thing, he chose well. Now all he needed to do was follow his friend advice and mend things with his beloved hunter.

Who knows, maybe he could have both? Maybe he could protect his people and be happy in love with a shadowhunter. With a smile on his face, Magnus opened the portal to the Institute.

He can be in love and be a good leader to his people.

Chapter Text

Alec was watching as the door of elevator slid close, taking Magnus with it. The young man was blinking, trying to stop tears from falling down his cheeks.

Magnus broke up with him.

A coldness filled his whole body. His heart was aching, as the realization hit him.

His lower lip trembled, his body started to shake. Alec wanted nothing more than drop down to the floor and cry his broken heart out.

But he couldn’t.

Not now. They were at war. They needed to be strong. He needed to be strong, for everyone. For Magnus too, even though the warlock decided to break things off with him.

Alec understood why Magnus had done it. He lied to the warlock about a very important matter. He understood Magnus’s position as a leader too. He needed to protect his people, and if he couldn’t do it while being with Alec, the young man will understand it.

Even though it hurt like nothing before.

Alec balled his fists and bit down on his lip to the point of bleeding to stop himself from screaming. There was no time for this. He had an important job to do.

“Are you ok, big brother?” Izzy’s voice woke him from his frozen state. Alec wiped the few tears from his cheeks and tried to compose himself before he turned around to his sister. “Alec?”

“I’m fine.” Alec gave his sister a fake smile and grabbed her hand in his, leading her back to the Infirmary, where Max was asleep. Alec felt Izzy’s and their parents' eyes on him, while he stroked Max’s hair. “Where are Clary and Jace?”

“Why didn’t you go with Magnus?” Izzy asked, eyeing him.

“We have more important things now. We need to start looking for Jonathan and Valentine.” Alec swallowed hard and stopped thoughts about his boyfriend...ex-boyfriend that was trying to consume his mind. There was no time to dwell on his broken heart. Alec could worry about it later. “Izzy, come with me to my office and let’s find Clary and Jace.”

The moment they stepped out of the room, Alec fought to not look in the direction of the elevator. He had a small ounce of hope in his heart that maybe Magnus would come back. Maybe he would understand Alec’s pleas.

They could have both. They could be good leaders and be together still. Alec believed they could. They just needed to figure things out. Together. When they were doing things together, they always succeeded. They took the power out of their love. They were stronger together. They needed each other. At least, Alec needed Magnus to function properly.

Magnus, I love you!

I love you too

As the hurtful look of Magnus’s eyes and the last love confession of his filled his mind, Alec felt his body going lighter. His breath was shallow, erratic. Alec faltered suddenly and if it weren’t for Izzy’s quick reflex, he’d hit the floor with his face.

Maybe it would be better? The physical pain was always better than the mental.

“Alec!” Isabelle held him in his arms, as they both sunk to the floor, Izzy overwhelmed by Alec’s weight. “Alec!”

As much as Alec wanted to endure the pain in silence, his own body and mind betrayed him. Tears ran down his cheeks, as he couldn’t shut the painful rejection of Magnus.

“Oh, big brother,” Izzy pressed him to her chest and rocked them forth and back. “Tell me, what happened?”

“He left me…” Alec sobbed in Izzy’s nice blouse. He’d buy her a new one later. “I tried to apologize...he said he loves me too…”

“Alec, I’m sure Magnus and you will figure it out. You love each other.” Alec just shook his head. “Alec.”

“He said I’m holding him back in being a good leader. He needs to make a hard decision for his people and I’m holding him back.” Alec wiped the tears from his cheeks. “I love him.”

“Magnus probably said this in emotions, big brother. Once he’ll realize that he can’t be without you, he’ll come back and you’ll fix everything.” Izzy tried to reassure him. Alec tried to believe her, but the look of Magnus’s eyes told him, it’s really over. “You need to talk everything out. Make him understand that you made a mistake by hiding the truth about the soul sword, but you love him. You tried to protect him, right?”

“Of course!”

“And I’m sure that once his anger will cool down, Magnus will see it too and you two get back together.” Alec hoped for it too as he nodded to her words, licking his dry lips. Izzy was right. Alec needed to give Magnus time to cool off before he’ll go and beg him to get back together, even though, it was the warlock who had walked out on him. He will make Magnus understand, that they could be both leaders and be happy in love. Alec won’t let the love of his life to leave him like that, or never if he can help it. “Are you ready to get up, big brother? Maybe you should take some rest?”

“No. I need to focus on the mission, otherwise, I’d go crazy.” Isabelle gave a reluctant nod to Alec’s statement and helped him get up from the floor. She wiped the reminders of Alec’s crying, knowing well, that her brother didn’t like anyone to see him at his breaking point. “We need to find Clary and Jace and start looking for Sebastien.”

Alec decided to go to Magnus as soon as he’ll be done with the debriefing with Jace and Clary. Alas, the sudden realization of Miss Fray shook them all to the point of confusion. The Lake Lyn was the real mortal mirror. Alec hoped that Valentine wouldn’t figure this out on his own. Alec as the Head of the Institute couldn’t take this chance.

He couldn’t let Valentine summon the Angel Raziel and destroy the entire downworld.

He couldn’t let him kill his beloved warlock.

They were in the middle of their hunt in New York, as Izzy took Jonathan's  shirt from his apartment to track him down. The lead took them to the New York cemetery, where there was an entrance to the Silent City. Fortunately, all Silent Brothers were unharmed, but they had found the body of some shadowhunters and downworlders lying across the ground with slit throats. Alec didn’t recognize the werewolves, but he had called to Luke to notify him.

“We’ve spoken with the Seelie Queen,” Luke said, as he covered the bodies of downworlders with white sheets. “We will not ally with her. Not me, not Raphael, nor Simon, not Magnus.”

“He said...he needs to make a hard decision for his people…” Alec whispered to him on the side. “I thought…”

“Raphael talked some sense into him. He was hurt.”

“You should ally with her. She’s powerful.” Alec spoke, remembering what Jace told him about her. “You don’t trust the Clave.”

“We’re not siding with the Clave either. We will fight against Valentine for our survival, but we won’t stand against the Clave like the Queen wanted.” Alec nodded to those words, feeling the slight amount of relief. They didn’t need another war when the Armageddon was coming. “We don’t want to break the accords, but we won’t follow every whim of the Clave.”

“I don’t want you to.” Alec protested firmly. “Look, all I ever wanted is to protect mundanes, shadowhunters, and the downworlders. Right now, we’re at the war and we have the common enemy. I am asking you, as the leader of your pack, to join me and my family in the fight against Jonathan and Valentine. I will try my most damn to protect all of you, but I need some help here. I’m sorry for lying to all of you, but I wanted what was best for both of our worlds. If the word about the sword went out, there could be a rebellion which would take the lives of many. We cannot let ourselves to lose our warriors now.”

Luke opened his mouth to say something, but he was beaten by Clary’s cry out. He and Luke ran towards her, Jace and Isabelle. The red-head girl was clutching her head, rocking back and forth. Jace was trying to talk to her, same as Isabelle, but they couldn’t shake her off her state.

Suddenly all screams stopped and Clary blinked a few times before she took a deep breath.

“I think Ithuriel showed me another vision.” She blurted out, holding firmly Jace’s hand. “I saw a lake...I think it was in Idris. I think it was the Lake Lyn. And there was a circle made of white flames on the surface of it. I’m not sure…”

“They’re summoning the angel.” The familiar voice for Alec was heard by them. The hazel eyed shadowhunter turned around and spotted the tired expression of Magnus Bane. Despite his colorful attire and the perfect makeup and hair were done, Alec could tell that Magnus was beyond well. The warlock refused to look at Alec, instead, he looked at Clary and Jace. “Simon told me you figured out that Lake Lyn is the real mortal mirror.”

Clary looked at Alec, same as his siblings. They knew that Magnus broke up with Alec just last night and seeing him here wasn’t exactly easy for their friend.

“Yeah,” she finally replied. “What are you doing here, Magnus?”

“It wasn’t that hard to track all of you.” He answered, finally looking at Alec. “I went to the Institute to talk with you...your mother told me you went for a hunt. Raphael is looking for Jonathan and Valentine around the downworld here. I’ve put up stronger wards around the Institute, and with Inquisitor’s agreement, no one but the residents can walk in, sans me, as it’s mine magic. Your little brother is safe, guarded by Brother Enoch.” Alec could only smile sadly at this. Seeing Magnus before him, he couldn’t produce any word of him. Yet, he had so much to say. “I’ll open the portal to Idris and we’ll go. You have everything you need?”

“I’ll call for the rest of my pack and for Simon.” Luke offered, pulling out his phone. Alec could only guess he’s called Maia.

“I’ll give a call to Raphael.”

Isabelle walked towards her brother and pulled him to the side by his elbow.

“Talk to him now, before other downworlders will get here,” Izzy advised looking at Magnus’s back as he was talking over the phone. Even doing such a mundane thing, Bane looked perfect to Alec. “We’ll go for more weapons, ok? Talk with Magnus, because I’ll kick your asses. I want to have a great brother-in-law, ok?”

At that, Alec opened his mouth shocked, blush creeping on his cheeks.  

Alec wondered if, at any point of their relationship, Magnus wanted or would want to marry him. A year ago, Alec would probably marry some shadowhunter girl and live in a loveless marriage, like he tried to with Lydia. He never thought that he could have what he had secretly dreamt about. A loving, beautiful man by his side and an acceptation from his family. And yet, Magnus came to his life and Alec dared to hope to have what he desired.

He had what he desired until he made mistakes.

“Alexander?” Suddenly Magnus was standing before him with an uncertain look in his chocolate eyes. How Alec missed seeing his real cat eyes. Magnus rubbed his many rings and bit down on his lips. He was clearly nervous. “Can we talk, please? I know you probably…”

“I’m sorry!” Alec exclaimed looking at him with wide eyes. “I’m so sorry for everything, Mags. I shouldn’t lie to you about the soul sword, but I was trying to protect you.”

“I’m sorry too, Alexander,” Magnus admitted, taking Alec’s hand in his, squeezing it lightly. “I was wrong. Your lie hurt me, but often, I tend to forget you are new in relationships and love. You made a mistake but I did too. I shouldn’t leave like that. I was hurt, confused and lost in everything...but...someone made me realize that I can have both. You and the safety of my people. I understood that I cannot choose between you and my people, because you are my people too, Alexander.”

“You don’t have to choose. I’m here, with you.” Alec brought Magnus’s hands up to his lips and kissed it. “Always. I’m not going to choose either. I will protect all of us.”

“I love you, Alexander, and I'm sorry.” Magnus stood on his tiptoes and threw his arms around Alec’s neck, drawing him closer to himself. They stood in their embrace for a long moment, enjoying the proper beats of their hearts. Alec drew away from Magnus for a moment, but never let him go off his arms. Instead, he placed his palm over the warlock’s cheek and captured his lips with his own in a kiss full of love, apologies, passion, vows of staying together, until death do them a part.

“I love you too, Magnus.”