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Those Little Slices of Death

Summary:

Hulk is unhappy with how Pepper has treated Tony, and feels that he can do better.

Notes:

This story is a stand-alone. I wrote it some time after watching Iron Man 3, which was an entertaining movie but seriously bothered me with many points of characterization. So I don't count it for my personal canon, although some elements do match my headcanon (frex, Tony has insomnia, nightmares, and PTSD because reasons). But there's this fascinating little scene at the end, which got me thinking about what happens when Bruce quits paying attention ...

Yes, this is Pepper-bashing. I actually like her as a character, but the movie did a hatchet-job on characterization in general. If you want to see Pepper being awesome, read "Saving the Heroes."

 

Not all the end notes fit, so I moved some here:

“Sleep, those little slices of death — how I loathe them.”
Edgar Allan Poe

"I can't sleep. And when I do, I have nightmares. You go to bed, I come down here and do what I know."
-- Iron Man 3

Ordinarily, I like Pepper Potts a lot, but in IM3 ... well, Hulk said it. Ignoring someone else's viewpoint, trying to change them, nagging, and blaming them for your bad ideas: those are all signs of trouble in a relationship. Read about emotional abuse.  Of course, Tony is a crummy boyfriend too; neither of them are in good shape in this movie.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Hulk Is a Good Listener

Chapter Text

The fight is over, the reassembled Avengers brushing themselves off. The sun is just starting to go down. Hulk thumps to the ground beside Iron Man, leaving a fresh pothole in the pavement. "Tony okay?" Hulk asks. Tony pops his faceplate open.

"Yeah, I'm fine, Green Machine," Tony says, thumping his armored chest where the arc reactor gleams steadily, because there are some things he won't give up even for love. "Why do you ask?"

"Pepper bitch."

Steve chokes on his Gatorade. "What?"

"Whoa, no, you do NOT talk about her like that!" Tony snaps. "Why would you even say that?"

"Tony tell secret. Pepper smash," Hulk says.

"What secret?" Tony says.

"Can't sleep. Bad dreams. Tony warn, Pepper say do anyway. Tony scared. Pepper mad, blame Tony. Dumb. No wonder Tony keep secrets. Pepper bitch," Hulk says.

"She ragged on you about PTSD nightmares?" Clint says. "That is not cool."

"Don't you start," Tony says, pointing at him. Then he rounds on Hulk. "How do you even know that? Because I sure as hell didn't go around shouting it from the rooftops. The only people I told were --"

I'm sorry, I'm not that kind of doctor, Tony. That's not my training. I'm not a therapist, Bruce whines in Tony's memory.

"Bruce go, Hulk come," the green beast says.

"Yeah, no, it's kind of obvious when you do that," Tony protests. He waves at the twelve-foot-tall behemoth.

Hulk laughs. "Sneaky," he says.

Everyone looks at each other, their eyes wide. Sneaky Hulk is a terrifying thought. Yet here he is, not smashing anything, just trying to help Tony. "Just when I thought I was done being surprised," Steve mutters.

"So you mean ... Bruce fell asleep on me, and you heard the whole story?" Tony says.

"Two hours twenty minutes," Hulk says.

"Shit," Tony says.

"Next time, ask Hulk," he says. "Tony need talk, Hulk come. Any time."

"That, um, I don't actually know what to do with that," Tony says, rubbing his face. "It was really you, all that time?"

"Hulk good listener," Hulk says gently.

"Yeah, I'm getting that," Tony says. "That's an eye-opener, let me tell you. So. Um."

"Guys, you are totally oversharing. Could you get a room or something?" Clint gripes.

"Go home now," Hulk agrees. He picks up Tony, suit and all, bounding away into the dusky city.

Chapter 2: I Can't Sleep

Summary:

Hulk does a much better job of addressing Tony's PTSD nightmares than Pepper did.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Tony is still complaining when Hulk sets him down quite carefully on the landing pad of Stark Tower. "Are we doing this? Seriously, is this a thing?" he says. "Because I can fly, you know!"

"Tony tired," Hulk says reasonably.

"So what the fuck if I am?" Tony snaps as he commands the suit to open. The prehensile pieces peel away from him and store themselves in the appropriate docking bay. "I'm always tired."

Hulk ignores his protests like a mountain ignoring rain. "Shower first, then bed," Hulk says, pushing Tony forward.

"I can't SLEEP, you colossal moron!" Tony yells. "And when I do, I have nightmares. It's like dying all over again. My dreams cut me to pieces."

"Bad dreams scary. Hulk help."

"Nice try, but no," Tony says. "I am not doing this again. No. No way. I have done this before and this is not good. Just no."

"Tony sleep. Hulk keep watch," he says.

"Yeah, no, I tried that. It blew up in my face. I can't -- I really can't stand to lose another person over this," Tony says. "This is why I need to sleep alone, if I can at all. I'm not safe."

"Call suit, Hulk not care. Nothing hurt Hulk," the giant points out.

"That was a bug. I fixed that. Not that it did me much good with Pepper," Tony says. Then he holds up a hand. "And don't call her a bitch again."

"Pepper c--"

"Or anything else filthy, jeez, where the fuck do you even learn these words?" Tony says.

"Bug easy, fix hard," Hulk says. "Not call here." One thick finger touches Tony's forehead. "Call here." The huge hand spans the width of Tony's chest, arc reactor a blue spark between thumb and forefinger.

"Shit. Fuck. That is not supposed to happen. It's supposed to be a conscious directive, why is this even happening?" Tony wails.

"Tony scared," Hulk says.

"You have no idea," Tony whispers, leaning against him.

"Hulk know." The voice is deep and soothing, like distant thunder.

"Yeah, I guess you would know about being scared, the way people chase you so much of the time," Tony says.

"Shower. Bed." Hulk is not stalled by Tony's further attempts at delay. He herds Tony into the bathroom and waits outside, as untiring as a rock. Then he pushes Tony into the bedroom.

"So how exactly does this work?" Tony says. "Because I don't want you smashing my bed, that is a favorite bed and I love it very much even though we rarely see each other anymore."

Hulk grips the mattress with one large green hand and hauls it onto the floor, bedding and all. He deposits Tony in the middle, then sits down beside him. "Bedtime," he says. "Safe, Tony. Hulk guard."

"This isn't going to work," Tony says. He tries to scramble away.

He doesn't get very far. "Try," Hulk says as he pushes Tony back down. "Pretty please?" Hulk looks determined and worried and weirdly adorable.

Tony heaves a disgruntled sigh but lies still. He can't bring himself to say no again with those big green eyes watching him. "Fine," Tony says.

Hulk hums, a sound like the Helicarrier turbines, deep and soothing. Tony does not expect to fall asleep, but he does, Hulk a patient presence beside him.

Tony dreams. He feels the bomb shaking under his armored hands as he flies it through the portal. Tony whimpers and twitches in his sleep. He sees the flash of deadly light, falls backward, falls --

"Tony, wake up!"

Hulk is shaking him, gently for Hulk, but still enough to rattle Tony's teeth together. "I'm up, I'm awake!" Tony yelps. He looks around the room, but the suit is not there.

"Want talk?" Hulk asks softly.

Tony rubs his forearms, shivering. "I was falling ..."

"Hulk catch."

"You sure did," Tony says. He tries hugging himself, but it doesn't help much. "Listen, it was a nice try, but you don't have to do this. I'm a mess. You must be tired too; you don't need to sit up with me."

"Hulk know. Stay anyway," he says, scooping Tony into his vast lap. Hulk is surprisingly warm and comfortable. Tony stops shivering. Hulk rocks him tenderly, and Tony thinks of a cruise ship riding the waves with its powerful engine. There are no more thoughts of falling. "Safe. Sleep now."

And Tony does.

Notes:

Sleep deprivation lowers performance and raises the risk of accidents. There are tips for having a good night's sleep.

While there are many ways to help an upset friend, the most important is just being there.

Children learn what they hear, a fact distressing to any parent who has just smashed a thumb and expanded their four-letter vocabulary. What's funny is how few parents realize where the kids hear it from -- they usually blame television or some other outside source, but most naughty words are learned at home.

Signs of fear span the physical, behavioral, emotional, and cognitive categories. Learn to read fear in body language. There are steps for overcoming and releasing fears.

Nightmares may cause moaning, talking, twitching, or other noticable symptoms. To wake a person from a nightmare, try calling their name; shaking them gently works for some but might be unsafe for others, so consider shaking the mattress or tossing a pillow instead. A good rule is to let someone sleep through a mild nightmare, and try to soothe them back to restful sleep. If they're crying out, flinching, or showing other signs of great distress then waking them is prudent. Physical comfort and verbal reassurance help the person calm down after a nightmare. Dealing with PTSD nightmares in particular, stay calm and reorient the person to waking reality. There are also tips for getting back to sleep after you've had a nightmare.

Notes:

Keeping secrets can indicate distrust within a relationship. There are ways to tell if someone is trustworthy. Notice that, across the movies, people usually react badly when Tony tells them things, especially about his personal problems. Then they wonder why he tends to keep secrets. Well, he's not stupid.

While we're on the topic of dysfunctional relationships, the (out of character, in my opinion) dynamics in IM3 are really awful for both Pepper and Tony.  Read some signs of a dysfunctional relationship and how to distinguish unhealthy from healthy relationships.  Another troublesome aspect is the codependent relationship, where people are bad for each other because they mutually support maladaptive coping mechanisms.  It's like drowning.  There are tips for healing a dysfunctional relationshipknowing when to end a relationshipleaving a toxic relationship, and avoiding the worst mistakes.  You have a right to protect yourself; you have a responsibility to do that without causing avoidable harm to others; and that goes for both/all parties in a bad relationship when trying to fix it or break it off.

PTSD is a mental disorder resulting from intensely upsetting experiences. Common symptoms include insomnia and nightmares.  You do not not NOT treat PTSD sleep disturbances by dragging someone into bed with you and then blaming them when they have an alarming reaction. The suit may be science fiction, but plenty of other things like getting punched in the face by a sleeping person are quite real. There are ways to cope with PTSD, reduce insomnia, and stop nightmares. Also consider meditation for sleep and good dreams, available in text or video formats.

People with Dissociative Identity Disorder have multiple personalities, like Bruce and Hulk. The person currently in control is "fronting." When that changes, it's "switching." Hulk pays attention to what happens when Bruce is out, which is most of the time. But if Bruce abdicates front, then nobody is driving the bus unless Hulk steps up to take over. Since smashing is not always needed, Hulk may decide to stay on the inside and just manage Bruce's body very lightly.

Good friends are good listeners. Learn how to improve your listening skills.

Oversharing or "too much information" can make friendships awkward. There are tips to stop oversharing.