Chapter Text
One of the side effects of these pills, you were told, was sleepiness. That by itself wasn’t strange. What was a strange side effect was him.
He was there, always in your dreams, with a smile. Always at the ready to greet you, always coming up with new ways to cheer you up. Though your dreams were at night, you always felt like you surrounded by soft sunshine at all times with him around.
His white dress suit always looked so clean despite all the running around the two of you did in your dreams. Rolling down hills, playing tag, and baseball of all things! Yet you laughed and laughed, you had not had this much fun and been so happy in a long long time.
The happy feelings dribbled into real life, you felt like yourself again, in a way. But only for a little while. You’d miss him and couldn’t wait to see him that night, often rushing into bed as soon as you could. Already you were used to seeing him every night you stopped questioning why he was there in the first place.
He was getting harder and harder to see and hear as time went by. When you expressed your panic of the situation he merely laughed and told you it was the way of things. That you don’t need him anymore.
But that wasn’t true. You did need him. How could you go through life anymore without him to cheer you up?
So you took more, you slept longer. So you were with him longer.
A small frown shown on his face when you saw him the first time you took more. But he didn’t say anything. You vaguely wondered if he knew.
During the day, you often wondered what he was. A figment of your imagination? Possibly, but the dreams felt so real. He felt real. You had held someone’s hand in a dream before but you could not feel it during the dream, let alone after you woke. Holding his hand, watching the sun rising in your dream, you’d wake up and still feel his warmth on your fingertips.
No, you knew he wasn’t a dream.
You didn’t care what or who he was. You loved him.
You shared soft kisses, always nothing more than a taste. Yet you had not voiced your feelings for him. He always interrupted you, a sad, longing look was in his eyes almost like it was too much to bear.
Yet he couldn’t stop from holding you close. Burying his nose in your hair, you both would let out a sigh, both wishing the dream would not end. Just as you felt the tugging of awakeness, you felt his hold tighten around you, he didn’t want to let you go, yet he always did in the end.
But now he was slipping away.
You were obsessed. Life outside your dreams, life without him became nothing. You started to give up on anything that wasn’t sleep.
More and more you took.
It was to be with him. Who cared of the consequences?
“Stop. Please [y/n]. Don’t…don’t do this to yourself.” Jyushimatsu had enough, a tear rolled down his cheek. He had yet to smile at you when the dream started. You were confused, do what to yourself? What was so wrong in wanting to be with him for as long as you could?
“But I lov…” He touched your chin with a sleeved hand, interrupting you yet again with a simple peck on your lips.
“This wasn’t supposed to be like this. I only wanted to cheer you up, make you smile. So I didn’t have to see you again for a long time. But you kept coming and I…” shutting his eyes his forehead met yours. He shuddered, his voice barely a whisper, yet so loud to your ears, “I should have stayed away but I…I feel so drawn to you.”
Though you weren’t sure what was going on, you knew what he was saying and hope rose in your heart. He loved you as well? Oh, how you hoped. You felt like your heart was bursting so much that it felt so real.
But then you felt that it was.
Clenching your heart, you felt like something was closing. You weren’t in pain, no, it was quite the opposite. You felt at peace.
Glancing up at Jyushimatsu, you saw the panic in his eyes.
Something told you you might not wake up again.
“No…nono…no.no NO [y/n]!” Jyushimatsu rushed over to you in a second, he was afraid to touch you but he couldn’t help himself, he wanted to make sure you were alright. “You have to go back, now. Please, before it’s too late and you regret it.”
“Jyushimatsu, how could you say that? I couldn’t leave you, Jyushi. I could never regret being with you.”
“You don’t know what you’re saying.” He was angry. Angry at himself and angry at you for not understanding how serious this was. “Wake up! Live your life! I don’t want to see you again until you are old and grey!”
The angrier he got the more the dream setting shifted. The sunny sky turned dark. Green grass turned black and brittle. A flash of yellow lightning ripped through, startling you. Smoke engulfed Jyushimatsu as you heard him growl, “You don’t understand, so I will make you.”
Apprehensive at what was occuring, you took a step back. Your trust in him was still strong but your instincts screamed for you to run. Another flash of lightning and you almost gave into your instincts.
Jyushimatsu emerged from the black smoke, green glowing eyes burrowed into you, your soul felt heavy. His princely white suit was replaced with a black and dark yellow hooded garb that swirled as if made from the smoke itself. You no longer saw his smile for it was covered in a huge jaw of a skull that did not look human at all. A ghostly bone tool, the sight of it gave you eerie shudders, was in his sleeved hand to complete the ensemble.
If you had to describe in one word what it all made you think of, it would be “death.”
At the thought of death, your mind flashed with yet another symptom of those pills, “can lead to death.”
The realization dawned on you. Everything made sense.
You would have been lying if you didn’t admit you were scared.
Death was something that was far from your mind. You only wanted to be close to him, to love him. It honestly never occured to you what exactly the consequences were of that decision. You stood there shaking before him. He looked so different, was he still him?
Glowing green eyes narrowed when you didn’t run from him right away. You heart lept in fear.
But then you saw it.
A flash of fear in his eyes. Fear and longing. It was enough to wash yours away.
Your confidence back, you stood up straight. Determination steeled you. You didn’t flinch when you heard a deep growl behind his bone mask, nor when he slightly raised the bone tool in his hand, threatening to swing at you if you got too close.
“Back off, mortal.” You did however finch at that, but it didn’t stop your approach.
You were at his boots, neck craned up and exposed. Your heart vulnerable.
“Jyushimatsu…” he flinched at his own name being whispered. He silently begged for you to turn heel and run, he wanted what was best for you but he knew if you said his name once more like that, like every syllable couldn’t contain your desire for him, if you but touched him ever so slightly, it feel like a thousand fires sweetly torched his skin, set him ablaze, he’d break, unable, unwilling to let you go. “I know you wont hurt me. Please, I understand….I don’t really want to die.”
“Then go.” What power did you hold for you to be able make this sunshine man break to a point of having such a soul crushing sadness in his voice in such a moment?
“But…. despite that, I refuse to leave you. I want to be with you….” he held his breath, “I love you, Jyushimatsu.”
He crumpled to his knees. He groaned in agony. “[y/n], turn me away. Please, I beg you. Revoke me. Run.”
Small fingers pushed into his hood, running through his soft hair, unafraid and familiar. “Never.”
Quick strong arms shot up and pulled you into his lap, stealing the breath out of you. Before you could catch your breath he hungrily captured your mouth with his. Heatedly, he deepened the kiss after you let out a whimper. His sleeved hands gripping you, bruising your skin, trying to get you closer and closer. Your body flush against his, yet you weren’t close enough.
Finally pulling away you caught your breath, vaguely you wondered where the bone jaw mask had gone but soon your wonder disappeared when you felt his mouth on your neck, groaning out you name.
“I love you, I need you, please” he said inbetween licking kisses on your skin. You cooed at him, telling him you weren’t going anywhere. Kissing the top of his head, pushing his hood down. A particular scratch of his scalp caused him to thrust up into you. You weren’t sure if the groan was his or yours being mixed in long overdue kisses.
You were ready to tear at him to get rid of his clothes, get even closer, but he started to hold back again by slowing down. Hungry kisses turning lazy.
You whimpered and pouted. He chuckled, glowing eyes softer, the smile on his face returned but it held a mischievous to it now. “Don’t worry, I’m not done yet, [y/n].” He smirked slightly at your blush before nuzzling your cheek. “But not right now. It’s still too dangerous to have you here.” The slight thrust of his hips again sent home the promise of ‘later.’
Blushing, trying not to think of the feel of his strong arms were around you, you still felt like you could leave, a slightly knocking, beckoning to wake up was softly in the back of your heart, yet you were content, you decided to ignore the feeling. You made your decision.
You didn’t think anything of it when he stood up with you in his arms, but when the scene started to fade around the two of you, you called his name, bringing his green eye’s to your attention.
You started to panic when you saw your sleeping body on your bed at home. Your arms gripped tighter around his neck. Begging for him not to let go.
“Shhhh, shhh. I love you. I’m not letting you go,” he said. His smile returned, even brighter than before. “But I’m not having you die just to be with me.”
“How…” you started to ask.
He rubbed a sleeved hand on the back of his head sheepishly. “Haaaaaaa, gotta break a few rules, but I can exist in this world too.” He shrugged nonchalantly at your concern and kissed your temple, “You’re worth it.”
He started to place your dream body into your sleeping one before you stopped him. “Are…will you be right there? You won't…”
He kissed you softly, full of love. “I’ll be right here when you wake up, I promise.” You nodded.
You let yourself drift off together, you remember the sensation, the warmth, of Jyushimatsu’s body as everything faded to black.
You felt the telltale signs you were waking up from a long dream. You were in your own bed, a dove cooed just outside your window as soft rain tapped above. Slightly moving, you groaned, you felt awful. In a word, you felt heavy. Heart and mind felt solid and hazy. Stomach empty, your limbs were freezing.
Why were you so heavy? You barely could move!
Face scrunched in frustration of not being able to move completely just yet but also at the slight tickling of air you felt on your face. Opening your eyes slightly to find the source of the tickling air.
Jyushimatsu, wrapped around you, blankets mixed with black smoke cozily snuggled around the two off you.
His half lidded eyes and smile met your sleepy ones. Sleeve fingers caressed your cheek and a peck on the tip of your nose with a giggle. “Welcome to a new life my Sunflower. I hope it is a long one.”
“with you?” you crocked out, wincing a little at the sound.
Beaming at you, he nodded, “haaa, together.”