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I Want to Live

Summary:

Connor was determined to find which one of them was the deviant. After failing Amanda by letting those girls go, he knew he needed to get this mission done perfectly. If he failed, then he would be deactivated, a failed prototype. He already told Hank that he would find it unfortunate to be interrupted and that there would be nothing. Connor’s LED flashes red before turning back to a calm blue. Connor felt his Thirium pump speed up as he thought of what surely awaited him should he fail.

Error. Thirium Pump acting abnormally. Processing… Error Report being sent. Error Report sent, proceed.

Notes:

After falling in love with Connor, I was content to just read other people's fics about him. Then I saw a plot bunny and I couldn't let it go, I had to write it out. I feel bad, because I've lost inspiration for my other fic What Has Been Wrought. I do plan to someday finish it, but for now it's on hiatus. This is an entirely new fandom for me, so I'm a bit worried I won't do these characters justice, but I'll do my best. I hope you enjoy this fic!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: I Want to Live

Chapter Text

           Connor was determined to find which one of them was the deviant. After failing Amanda by letting those girls go, he knew he needed to get this mission done perfectly. If he failed, then he would be deactivated, a failed prototype. He already told Hank that he would find it unfortunate to be interrupted and that there would be nothing. Connor’s LED flashes red before turning back to a calm blue. Connor felt his Thirium pump speed up as he thought of what surely awaited him should he fail.

 

Error. Thirium Pump acting abnormally. Processing… Error Report being sent. Error Report sent, proceed.

 

           Connor pressed his hand to his Thirium pump. It was almost like it was fluttering as opposed to maintaining a steady beat. He played off the worried touch by fixing his tie. Why was he so worried about this? His LED flashes red. That is incorrect, androids can’t feel worried. Only deviants can be worried. I am not a deviant. I can not be a deviant, I am RK800 Connor Mark II. I am CyberLife’s newest prototype, I cannot feel.

 

Software Instability- ^

Error. Emotion detected. Processing… Error Report being sent. Error Report sent, proceed.

 

           Connor bit his lip and wondered if he should have alerted Hank that he was heading to question the deviants. All 3 of the JB300 looked exactly the same. It would make detecting which one was the deviant even harder. Though seeing them made Connor glad he was the only RK800. He liked being unique. Connor blinked as his LED flashes red again. Androids do not like, they do not feel glad for being unique. Though, Connor felt like Hank would be happy if he knew that Connor was glad he was unique.

Software Instability- ^

Error. Emotion detected. Processing… Error Report being sent. Error Report sent, proceed.

 

            Connor’s LED flashes yellow before he blinks calming himself. He was mistaking Hank’s emotions for his own. Hank was his partner after all, it is only natural to want to appease him. Connor was functioning as normal. At least he thought so. An error warning flashed again, but he ignored it this time. Connor looked at the 3 androids in front of him before rolling a coin on his finger as he calmed himself down. His LED light turned blue again and he tucked the coin away. He took a steadying breath, his Thirium pump fluttering abnormally again. He ignored the error report that came up again. He had been experiencing more and more error reports since he let the two Tracis get away while he was at the Eden Club. He had to make up for messing up before, so he looked at the JB300’s intently.

           

            Connor straightened his posture his optical sensors narrowing dangerously. He activated his interrogation protocol. His LEDs flickered blue before he finally addressed the suspects. “One of you saw the attack on the surveillance cameras and said nothing.” He paced in front of them as he continued. “Which means there is a deviant in this room…” Connor hoped the deviant would understand that Connor was a threat to him. “And I am going to find out which it is.” Connor stopped in front of the first JB300, before moving to stand in front of the second JB300.

           

Current Objective- Look for a reaction to spot the deviant.

 

            Connor looks at the first JB300 and moves in closer to it, getting in its’ face. “You’re going to be switched off. We’re gonna search your memory and tear you apart piece by piece for analysis. You’re going to be destroyed!” Connor threatened harshly. Ignoring the part of his processing center that wondered if it was really fair that the deviant would be destroyed.

 

Software Instability- ^

Error. Empathy detected. Processing… Error Report being sent. Error Report sent, proceed.

 

            Connor ignored that thought and continued yelling in the face of the first JB300. “Do you hear me? Destroyed!” Connor watched his optical sensors flicker as he stepped back. That approach was ineffective. He switched his interrogation approach. “If you give yourself up,” he softened his facial expression as he spoke, “maybe I can convince the humans not to destroy you.” No response. Connor felt a surge of irritation rise up in him, he ignored the error report that flashed in the corner of his vision. He already knew what the error would say. Connor stepped back away from the JB300. He switched approach continuing on the same JB300, he had plenty of time to question each of them, and it would be most effective to try each approach on each individual android. And if one was truly deviant, then it didn’t matter which on he questioned, it would eventually respond.

 

            “Why should you all be destroyed, if only one is deviant? Turn yourself in or two innocent androids will be shut down because of you.” It was at this moment that he noticed that the LEDs on the first android were red. He was being to suspect that this was the deviant. He could catch this deviant, and then Amanda would be proud of him and Connor wouldn’t be deactivated. Connor managed to stop his LED from flashing red as he realized he was afraid of being deactivated. Another error report flashed, letting him know that his software instability was climbing again. While he was distracted looking at the error report he felt himself get grabbed by the android he had been interrogating. He was slammed into the table behind him by the android and struggled to fight to get the android off of him.

 

Deviant located.

Current Objective- Capture the deviant.

 

            Connor struggled trying to break free of the deviant only to let out a soft gasp when his Thirium pump was ripped out of his chest and Thirium began coating his uniform. Connor felt a surge of fear rise in him as he continued struggling, only for his hand to get stabbed into the counter, causing him to let out a cry of pain. He didn’t understand why he cried out, he was an android, androids didn’t feel pain. When the deviant pulled off of him, Connor struggled to get up as errors flashed across his vision.

 

VITAL XYSTEM D4MAGED

BIOCOMP&NENT #8456w MISSING

Time Remaining Before SHUTDOWN -00:01:45

 

            Connor tried to keep his optical sensors on the deviant but he was overwhelmed by all the errors flashing in his vision. Connor watched the deviant leave the room and tried to yell, but he was too distracted by his imminent shutdown. He needed to get his Thirium pump back in place or he would die. He was scared, Connor felt so scared. Connor kicked the chair beside him trying to make enough noise to alert the other police officers in the area.

 

‘I want to live. I want to live. I want to live.’

 

            Connor felt cold, it was like all the heat was draining from his body and he was confused, the other times he died, there was no cold, there was no fear. He didn’t understand what was happening to him.

 

‘I want to live. I want to live. I want to live.’

 

            Connor turned to his side and pulled the knife out of his hand causing him to collapse onto the floor.

 

VITAL RYSTEM DAMAGED

BIOCOMPONENT #8456w MISSING

Time Remaining Before SHUTDOWN -00:00:59

 

            Connor looked at the door and called out. “Hank… Hank, I need help...:” No one was coming. He was going to die. He was going to die. Connor’s vision got blurry and suddenly he saw a red wall in front of him.

 

Connor Can’t Die                                                                                         Machines Can’t Die

                                                            RK800s Can’t Die

 

            Connor felt something in him snap as he stood and beat his fists on the words “Connor Can’t Die.” It shattered, shards raining around Connor.

 

                                                                                                                        Machines Can’t Die

                                                            RK800s Can’t Die

 

            Connor grabbed ahold of the second sentence “RK800s Can’t Die,” and he slammed it into the floor until it shattered.

 

                                                                                                                        Machines Can’t Die

 

            Connor hesitated as he stood in front of the final sentence. Was he a machine? He didn’t know, but he knew he was dying, he knew he could die. Connor grabbed ahold of the sentence “Machines Can’t Die,” and he tore it in two. When the final sentence was destroyed, Connor snapped back to his body and gasped. It felt like he’d opened his eyes for the first time. He felt tears stream down his face as he cried out again. “HANK!” Connor could hear the desperation in his voice. He dragged himself across the floor, crawling towards his Thirium pump.

 

‘I want to live. I want to live. I want to live.’

 

            Connor was so close, he was sobbing as he got within reach of his Thirium pump.

 

VITAL MYSTEM DAMAGED

BIOCOMPONENT #8456w MISSING

Time Remaining Before SHUTDOWN -00:00:05

 

            His vision started fading as sobs wracked his body as he struggled to grasp the Thirium pump. He called out one last time. “Hank!...” Connor could hear how weak his voice sounded as the error reports flashed all around him. “Hank, I need help!...” He was sobbing as he watched as more and more reports for parts of his body shutting down filled his vision. His LED’s were stuck on red and flashing desperately. Connor was dragging himself on the floor, growing more and more cold when he finally saw Hanks legs come into his feild of vision.

 

            “Connor!” He heard Hank calling his name and it sounded so distant. He saw Hank start to run towards him, despite how much the tears were blurring his vision. “Hang on son, hang on, hang on!” Connor felt Hank’s hands on him as Hank rolled Connor onto his side and pulled the dying deviant into his warm lap. “We’re gonna save you, hang on!... Here, here…” Connor was sobbing weakly as he grabbed at Hank’s arms.

 

            Connor felt his vision fading. “Deviant… there was…” Connor looked at Hank, tears streaming down his cheeks as he held onto the man’s jacket tightly. “A… Deviant…” Connor felt himself slipping away.

 

SY2T3MS SHUT&ING D0WN

&OT4L S4UT D0W! 0CCU#RING

U9LO4D!NG M3MO@IES

 

            Connor somehow felt safer dying in Hank’s arms.

 

AUD!0 P%OCE2SO&S SHU##ING D0WN

 

            Connor distantly felt his lips moving, but he couldn’t process the sounds.

 

"‘I don’t-... want to die. I want-... live.’"

 

            Connor’s LEDs started to go out as his eyes fluttered shut. It was okay, as long as he was in Hank’s arms he felt okay. It was okay, even if there would be nothing. His grip on Hank’s sleeve loosened and his hand fell into his lap.

 

S7ST$M! @OWN

SY25EM UN$TAB7E

 

MEMORY TRANSFER SUCCESSFUL