Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

im bonky started a group chat 

Im bonky: i just want to say thank you to everyone here who helped me even tho we all tried to kill each other like a year ago.

Widow: ok.

Bider-Man: omg mr.wintersoldier it was no problem but thank you so much for letting me see your metal arm!

Im bonky: umm.. Technically it was because i tried punching but your welcome? And its bucky.

Bider-Man: oh im so sorry mr. bucky sir winter soldier!

Bird: oh god the kid is worse than when Lang met Cap.

Hawkguy: truuuu

Ant-Man: i was not that bad.

Steve Rogers: No they’re right.

Hawkguy: ouch

Ant-Man: ):

Tony Stark™: eh whatever

Siri: you are very welcome Sergeant Barnes.

Im bonky: thank you vision

Sunshine: AYE YOU ARE MOST WELCOME SOLDIER OF WINTER!

Bruce: honey we weren’t even here for that, also ask loki how to turn off your caps.

Sunshine: IT WAS LOKI WHO PUT ON THE CAPS!

Grease: t’was me.

Im bonky: thanks anyways Thor

Steve Rogers: How is new Asgard coming along?

Bruce: considerably well, thanks to the accords....

Steve Rogers:........

Tony Stark™:... ha

Steve Rogers: I do not regret my decision at the time, should have I read the accords more thoroughly and realized that changes could be made, yes but I didn’t in the end it worked out. I do however regret involving Peggy’s niece/ Tony’s cousin, sorry.

Tony Stark™: you don’t say *note the sarcasm*

Widow: really guys

Hawkeye: how the frick did i just feel your eyeroll?! I’m at starbucks getting coffee!

Bird: because you’ve been subjected to it so much that you are now connected with it.

Hawkeye: seems about right

Bider-Man: anyways, so i guess i just lost my last baby tooth.

Bruce: ???? aren’t you like 16

Im bonky:??

Bider-Man: i came out to have a good time and im honestly feeling so attacked rn

Barbecue sauce on my titties: no old memes in my lobby!

Im bonky: really shuri

Bider-Man: who are you ?

Barbecue sauce on my titties: nicki minaj you already know

Im bonky: if you wanted to be added to the groupchat you could’ve just told me no need to hack your way in.

Barbecue sauce on my titties: but wheres the fun in that white wolf

Im bonky: whatever i guess

Im bonky: also change your user its uncomfortable

T’chanclas: i must agree with bucky with that one

Barbecue sauce on my titties: you guys are no fun

Barbecue sauce on my titties changed their name to so basically im monky

So basically im monky: happy

T’chanclas: yes

Im bonky: that my user!

Bider-Man: you know memes!?

So basically im monky: yes he does and he learned from the very best, yours truly

Bider-Man: and who are you

So basically im monky: Princess Shuri of Wakanda aka meme lord and smartest person on earth.

Bider-Man: omg your highness! Its so nice to meet you… well text you omg also are you sure about that *cough* tony *cough* stark

Tony Stark™: nah she’s right, also why would you teach a 100 year old man memes

So basically im monky: for research purposes

Tony Stark™: suuree, anyways its nice talking to you again kid

T’chanclas: You know my sister?

Bider-Man: omg your king t’challa, its such an honor to be in the same chat as you, im peter parker aka spider man. We fought together at the airport! I stole captain’s shield!

So basically im monky: wouldn’t be such a honor if you seen what ive got on video

Im bonky: yeah the other day i caught him having an argument with one of my goats

So basically im monky: which on was it steve or junior ??

Im bonky: the stubborn one

So basically im monky: so steve

Im bonky: yup

T'chanclas: he would not listen to me when I told him to go play with junior!

Tony Stark™: also yes your sister managed to hack into my tower a few years ago just to tell me she was smarter after that we remained good friends, surely you didn’t think i was unaware of wakandas resources all these years.. Anyways i still have a room available for you but i may need to redecorate since when i had it made you were nine you still owe me a visit

So basically im monky: now that wakanda has opened up their borders im sure i can visit sometime, also im so touch the one and only tonky stank made a room for me

So basically im monky: ahasijhijlkADNSDMV A NDKJFN

Bider-Man: um??

So basically im monky changed their name to i love bonky

T’chanclas: bucky just tackled shuri and stole her phone ANYWAYS i feel like its odd you were friends with a nine year old and got them a room.

Tony Stark™: mmm i guess but she was the second child i could add to my army of science children so nah

I love bonky: yeah well he the first of my collection of broken white boys

Tony Stark™: <3

I love bonky: <3 <3

Tony Stark™: UwU

T’chanclas: bucky stop gagging its disturbing

Steve Rogers: you named a goat after me?

Im bonky: yeah the most stubborn annoying one

Steve Rogers: :(

Widow: damn..

Hawkguy: it be like that sometimes

Tony Stark™: also are we not going to bring up the fact that wanda was still hydra?!?

Siri:......

Steve Rogers:.......

Widow:........

Bird:......

Hawkguy:.......

Ant-Man:......

Im bonky: WHAT!?

Steve Rogers: bucky..

Im bonky: skype now! Steven

Tony Stark™: ooohh someone’s in trouble

Chapter Text

Steve sat in his room in tower, dreading the moment Bucky called.

Spoke too soon Steve thought. Clicking on the green phone icon, preparing himself for Bucks screaming and anger he got a silent Bucky. He looked so void of emotion it was scary for a second Steve thought that the efforts to rid of the Winter Soldier was wasted but then Bucky spoke.

“what did Tony mean by still hydra?” He asked conveying no emotion.

“buck…”

“what did he mean Stevie.” The mask broke and showed a vulnerable Bucky.

“I wanted to tell you I did really but it was never the time.”

“Stevie with her powers and abilities didn’t it ever occur to you that she might have been in my head since she was with hydra?” Bucky asked his voice so small, Steve was at lost for words not thinking about that. “I recognized her during the fight at the airport and I thought maybe I had seen her during passing during the insight catastrophe but it all makes since.” Bucky continued his voice getting more and more confident. “She had came to the cell I was in when they woke me up to kill fury, she messed with my brain. Steve she was there!”

Guilt racked in Steve’s head, he knew he had fucked up with Wanda when she was still activity hating Tony despite living off of him. Hurting Tony was a big regret of his and now he had also hurt Bucky. At first he thought he was doing good inviting Wanda onto the avengers, looking pass her past with hydra. Blinded by her age and sad story he took her in and treated her like a baby and never saw what the others saw. A girl intent on revenge and pain.

God Sam and Tony constantly told him that there was something off with her, it hadn’t been because she was having trouble assimilating with American culture like he thought, it was due to more malicious plans.

Steve was absolutely devastated when he found Wanda messing with Natasha’s mind, he had just been down to the girls floor for a surprise visit when he saw Nat looking at a wall with no emotion eyes red and Wanda standing beside her with an evil grin.

It hurt Steve to lock away Wanda in the raft, but after Natasha had come out of her haze, he had never seen the spy display such fear and hurt.

“i’m sorry” steve said running a hand through his hair. “ Bucky I really am,  I should seen this coming but I was blinded by my stupid way of seeing the good in everyone. But she isn’t going to hurt you we locked her away, we offered her to change her way but she out right refused and vowed to kill us. She is in the raft, she is not going to hurt anyone anymore buck.”

“you promise?”

“cross my heart hope to die.” Steve said crossing his heart and putting his hands up in surrender getting a small chuckle from bucky.

“so when are you going to come and visit?”

“I don’t know but soon okay,  talk to you later okay kid imma go and smoke a joint with T’challa.”

“okay buck i’ll talk to you later, love you.”

“love you too”

so basically im monkey entered the chat

so basically im monky: the super old gays made up!”

Steve Rogers: were you spying on bucky?

so basically im monky: well it isn’t spying when bonky using my lab to call his boo thang

Bider-Man: shade

Tony Stark™: oof sis serve the tea

so basically im monky: I disown you and whoever taught you that

Bider-Man: ……..

Tony Stark™:  sorry

im bonky: really shuri

so basically im monky: shut up and keep smoking weed in the royal garden with T’Challa and see if I tell mother about how her favorite colonizer is sharing the good kush with her son.

Bider-Man: PERIODT

Im bonky:…..

Bird: you smoking weed because of your back pains old man?

im bonky: fuck you, and it’s to help me relax

Tony Stark™: oof mind sharing my chest hurts ;)

Honeybear: I don’t know why you’re winking, you should really smoke some weed because you do actually get chest pains, boy sometimes you act like a real dumbass.

Tony Stark™:  :(

im bonky: you made him sad!

Honeybear: his tactics don’t work on me anymore

Tony Stark™: ;(

Steve Rogers: :(

im bonky: you monster, you made Tony cry and that makes Steve sad, hope you’re happy.

Honeybear: Steve didn’t seem sad when he nearly broke the avengers apart….

so basically im monky: NOW THAT IS HOW YOU SERVE THE TEA!

Bider-Man: it’s scolding hot!

Steve Rogers: I-…..

Tony Stark™: awww platypus you do care!

Honeybear: of course :)


Tony Stark™: my biggest uwu goes out to you <3


Honeybear: um thanks?


Hawkguy: this was…..


Widow:......


So basically im monky: i call gay on you guys


Bider-Man: oh good you saw that too


Bird: i think we all did


Ant-Man:yup


Steve Rogers: what?


Tony Stark™: NOTHING! Anyways i have video of clint twerking naked!


So basically im monky: dont change the subject!


Bird: lmaoooo show us the fucking video


Im bonky: show us


Widow: yes


Hawkguy: wtf stark,,,, idc my ass is fine as hell not like steves but its still good so by all means share


Im bonky: no ones ass is better than steves maybe tonys

Tony Stark™: right no on- wait what!?


Steve Rogers: you have a nice ass too buck ;)


Bruce: Thors is nice too


Sunshine: THANK YOU MY BELOVED!

Bruce: (//v//)


Hawkguy: beloved hahah


Sunshine: IS THAT NOT A TERM OF ENDEARMENT ON MIDGUARD?


Steve Rogers: it is but clint is just jealous he has no one


Hawkguy: im fine single, more time for me to spend with lucky and i dont have to share my pizza


Widow: you share with lucky


Hawkguy: yeah but we get our own box


Tony Stark™: and thats why that dog looks like death


Hawkguy: he looked like that before i found him thats just how he is asshole


Tony Stark™: oops


Bider-Man: oh brother this guy stinks


So basically im monky: hawkguy reeks of twink


Hawkguy: you never even met me?!?!?


Widow: but she’s right


Hawkguy:??!!? I can lift about three of you??!?! Im so a freaking TOP! Just ask …….


Tony Stark™:ask who omg who have you’ve been topping


Hawkguy: can’t say top secret!


Bider-Man: hit or miss, i guess they never miss huh?


So basically im monky: you got a boyfriend, i bet doesnt never kiss ya!


Im bonky: Mwah


Widow: i know who it is


Hawkguy: to be honest im a switch so yeah im also a bottom bitch


Bird: bith

Tony Stark™: b i c t h


Tony Stark™ has shared  Clint throwing that ass back.mp4


Bider-Man: :O 


Steve Rogers: the children Tony!!


So basically im monky: god im so glad I got to shuri before she could play the video


im bonky: yeah but you left yours in the open.. nice ass colonizer!


Hawkguy: thank you your highness.

Chapter Text

Tony Stark™: why does it feel like we haven’t been on here since like last year?

Hawkguy: yoooo tell me why i feel like that too

Bider-Man: yes!omg

Widow: oddly enough i feel like that too.

Bruce: we were literally on here last night debating which side we are on…

Sunshine: TEAM TATI

Bider-Man: nah man yall see the new video james posted? I mean i never liked him before all this but omg

so basically im monky: listen james, jeffree have been problematic so ive never stanned,,,, but tati she’s not gonna get any cookie points from me since she just exposed james because he used her. She would’ve harbored him if he didn’t do her dirty.

Hawkguy: i don’t like how all it took for james to be cancelled was a white lady to say some shit, when poc have been calling him out for his shit.

im bonky: sister shook

Steve Rogers: i am not even going to try to understand

Tony Stark™: you know what i am and have been a bretman rock stan, all you uncultured smh

Honeybear: as you should

Tony Stark™: <3

T’chanclas: i am so lost with america politics

Bird: eye-

Sunshine: BRUCE SAID HE LOST BRAIN CELLS READING THIS

Ant-Man: Mr. Stark I would like to know if you can come to Cassie’s show and tell tomorrow?

Hawkguy: since when does the twink speak so well

so basically im monky: ur the twink my dude

Tony Stark™:you want me to come to your kids show and tell?

Ant-Man: Yes, please.

Ant-Man would like to facetime

Hawkguy accepted

Tony Stark™ accepted

Im bonky accepted

T’chanclas accepted


“Hi! Mr. Stark!” Cassie said waving excitedly at the camera. Tony just started laughing.

“Hey Munchkin.” He said continuing to laugh. “Where’s your dad?”

“He is making lunch for Paxton and mommy.”

“Is this Langs kid?” Bucky asks.

“Bucky Barnes, oh my god!” Cassie squeals, the camera starts to shake and Paxtons voice is heard in the background ‘no running in the house’. “Look! I have a bucky bear!” she yells shoving the camera at a vintage bucky bear. Clint, T’challa, and Tony start laughing at Cassie’s enthusiasm and Bucky’s red face.

“Oh.. that’s nice.” Bucky finally says.

“So kiddo you want me to go to your classes show and tell?” Tony says.

“Yes! Please, Mr. Stark please!” Cassie says flipping the camera back on her using very powerful puppy eyes.

“I don’t know Cassie, i’m an awfully busy man.” Tony says pretending to think it over. Cassie pouts and makes her lip quiver.

“Aw, come.” Clint shouts. “You can’t say no to her.”

“Yeah you can’t say no to me!” T’challa laughs at this.

“What’s so funny big man, hey Cas how about I do you one better! T’challa here is the King of Wakanda! I’m sure he can go.” Tony offers, to his surprise T’challa agrees.

“That is not a bad idea Anthony.” T’challa says seriously pondering over it.

“Cassie have you seen my phone?” Scotts voice can be heard in the background. “King T’challa pleaseeeeeee.” Cassie begs.

“When is it? Tomorrow?” Cassie nods. “Okay i’ll see what I can do.”

“Cassie what are you doing with my phone?” Scott’s face comes into view. “Holy sh--shirt! You called the King of Wakanda!?” Cassie squeals with delight.

“Yeah! He is going to come for my show and tell!”

“Cassie I’ll make T’challa bring Bucky tomorrow if you call your dad a twink.” Tony says laughing.

“Hey-”

“You’re a twinky dad.” Everyone even Scott is laughing.

“Close enough.” Tony says.

The next day

T’chanclas: Cassies show and tell. Mp4

Hawkguy: is she really just casually hanging off buckys arm?!?

Siri: oof queen I stan, go off

Tony Stark™: Nooopppe who taught you that my child

Bider-Man:
 

Widow: so we aren’t going to bring up the fact that okoye let that little girl rub her head?

im bonky: okoye said she will murder you when you sleep.

so basically im monky: twinky i am stealing your child, cool.k.bye.

Ant-Man: i dunno you’d have to ask maggie and paxton first.

Steve Rogers: oh my god buck you let them braid you hair

Im bonky: they asked and who was i to deny them steven

Siri: here’s the mothafuckin tea

Siri: James Charles is a teenager, and has apologized for his mistakes, yesterdays video was filled with receipts. Tati over exaggerated everything, and so did Jeffree, Tati truly was only mad and tried to take him out because of the sugarbear #ad

so basically im monky: keep going boo.

Siri: in conclusion we stan james charles.

Hawkguy: can someone come over and drive me and lucky to the vet?

Bird: wth why

Hawkguy: lucky got stung by a bee :(

so basically im monky: aw poor baby

Bider-Man: why can’t you drive yourself or get an uber

Hawkguy: for reasons i can not say due to legal issues me and lucky are banned from all ubers

Hawkguy: and also i cant drive because im gay #discrimination

Bider-Man: oof

Bider-Man: F

Hawkguy: thnxs

Steve Rogers: On My Way!

Hawkguy: thnxs dad

Tony Stark™: here’s *tap, tap* the mothafukin *tap, tap* tea

Tony Stark™: clint is banned from uber because he has on various occasions managed to trick uber drivers into letting him drive, with lucky on the passenger seat.

so basically im monky: shadowbanned

Sunshine: bruce is cheating on me :(

Tony Stark™: elaborate

Grease: i’ll will kill myself if its true

Grease: i love bruce he makes me food

Grease: he gives good cuddles

Grease: i will chose bruce if you guys break up

Sunshine: );

Bider-Man: i will decimate you banner

so basically im monky: who hurt my puppy

T’chanclas: Shuri how many times must i remind you you can not just claim people, and especially call them puppy.

so basically im monky: a thousand more times

Bruce: Honey, you can’t go around saying it like that

Bruce: Thor thinks I am cheating on…. Minecraft.

T'chanclas:


Sunshine: aye you keep finding diamonds, suspiciously quickly.

Bruce: thats because i know where to find them

Bruce: you aren’t even mining, you are trying to tame a cat

Sunshine: difficult beast to tame

Grease: i was hacked those last messages were not from me

Tony Stark™: bruce ;( minecraft was our okay.

Bruce: sowwy

Grease:



Tony Stark™: ;l

Bruce: uwu

Tony Stark™: (: i forgive you

Bider-Man: a modern love story

Steve Rogers: update clint has now also been stung by a bee

Widow: how

Hawkguy: dont

Steve Rogers: he swung at a bee

Steve Rogers: yes you read that correctly

Steve Rogers: and said started yelling out “this is for lucky you bastards”  “rot in hell” “dumbass going extinct bitch ass bees”

Steve Rogers: and once he tired himself out, a bee landed on shoulder and he started crying telling me “take it off, take it off” while running away from me

Steve Rogers: so naturally it stung him

Steve Rogers: so now we are in the vet's office and clint is covered with mud

Honeybear: 


Bird: i don’t know how his boyfriend puts up with this shit

Hawkguy: stfu

Hawkguy: the bee died

Hawkguy: i feel bad

T’chanclas: Murderer

Ant-Man: Murderer

Hawkguy:


Bider-Man: Murderer

so basically im monky: murderer

Hawkguy: and i oop-

Im bonky: who are you dating

Hawkguy: you wouldn’t know him

Hawkguy: he lives in canada

Hawkguy: we met at niagara falls

Honeybear:



Widow:

Chapter Text

hawkguy: hey y’all I’ve missed this groupchat

bird: u were without a phone for two days

hawkguy: i know I’ve been through a lot 

Widow:a lot of dick

Steve rogers: NATASHA! We do not slut shame !!

honeybear: unless it’s tony stark ™

tony stark ™’: LE GASP /im in tears, sobbing, shitting, dry heaving, my own bestie slutshaming me 

biderman: wooooooow mister Rhodes 

so basically Im monky: damn

Siri: tut tut

ant-man: not cool *shaking my head*

honeybear: im allowed to! 

grease: hawkguy, nat, stop lying we know hawkguy gets no bitches

sunshine: whats slut shaming? Can i be slut shamed? Why am i always left out >:|

honeybear: tony stark ™ is right next to me he hasn’t had a change of emotion in the last

ten minutes

grease: thor you whore!

hawkguy: smh thor you’re so easy to please

sunshine: i am easy to please! :)

Bruce: thor no

so basically Im monky: omg no!

biderman: i just got to the last episode of stranger things can’t believe hops dead :(

siri: omg when?

biderman: season three

siri: no, when did i ask

biderman:

tony stark ™: yoooooo

I’m bonky: YOOOOOOO

grease: yoooooooo

Bruce: yooooooooooooooo

sunshine: omg slay the house down Houston im deceased

biderman: wtf droid 

siri: oh my gosh that wasn’t me i was possessed by Stephen hawking for a moment

Bruce: i-

so basically Im monky: anyways lol u guys remember when my cousin tried…will did dethrone tchala and we thought he was dead

tony stark ™: stop

t'chanclas: omg that happened? It’s not like you bring it up every chance you get so that u can send one of us into a mental breakdown

so basically Im monky: wow and here i thought i can share my trauma

Im bonky: imgonna killlyou

so basically Im monky: do it i can take you

honeybear: no you cant

Steve rogers: no you cant

t’chanclas: no you cant

Im bonky: ,oooooooo ur mommy’s calling shithead

so basically Im monky: shut up u cant scare meeeee……. C u later guys

biderman: wtf she could’ve won!

siri: yeah!

Bird: clit we still know u get no bitches

Hawkguy: how would u know huh! Whens the last time u got bitches?

Grease: 0o0

im bonky:

Hawkguy: and third wheeling steve and bucket doesnt count

Bird: i get plent bitches, ill have you know

Im bonky: name 1

Bird: a gentleman doesnt kiss and tell (￢_￢;)

Widow: virgin

Tony stark: virgin

Siri: virgin

Honeybear: vis wtf

Hawkguy: shut up four year old

siri:



Bird: what did i do? !!?!?!?! clits the one with the fake boyfriend

Hawkguy: HES REAL, AS REAL AS IT GETS, AS REAL AS CAPS ASS

Ant-man: gasp

Bruce: clint thats a pretty serious declaration you know that right.

T’chanclas: woah

Biderman: dude u know thats like swearing on the bible

Hawkguy: yeah i know, im telling u hes real

Steve rogers: when can we meet him? Does he have a name? What does he do for a living?this last bit is important, does he like baseball? If so what team

Hawkguy: idk, wade, bounty hunter, and ummm i think he prefers hockey

widow: my god 

bird: fake as fuck 

im bonky: lie better lier

hawkguy: do u guys not believe me :s

basically im monky: no 

biderman: well

hawkguy: wooooowwwwwwww lit rally hurt

honeybear: lie better n next time we will believe you 

sunshine: i believe you clinton <3 

hawkguy: thanks thot UwU

suns hine:

greas e: i don’t 

hawkguy: no one cares, go fuck ur self 

Bruce: he already does

steve rogers: what

bruce: what

biderman: what

siri: what 

hawkguy: hey guys!!! im waDe clint’s VERY REAL BOYFRIEND

hawkguy: OMG IM A BOUNTY HUNTER?!? 

tony stark: this is sad

hawkguy: ugh THATS so lame compared to what i really do YOOOO BIDERMAN HIIIIIIIIIIIIII SPIDEY I MISSS U BRING ME A CHIMICHANGA 

biderman: oh my fucking god 

hawkguy: miss u baby boy UwU (ﾉ´ з `)ノ white and yellow say hewwo 

biderman: are yoo.… is this fucking serious wade WHAT THE FUCK

hawkguy: sure am bubble butt swear i can bounce a nickel off that thing

bird: what the hell is going on 

hawkguy: OMG BYE franny is coming SHHHHH don’t tell him i was on here off to kill some baddies 

steve roger: what in the ñame of god was that 

biderman: guys clint has a boyfriend 

siri: ain’t no way, ain’t no fucking way

tony stark: who is it

biderman: promise not to get mad? 

tony stark::.….

biderman: PROMISE

tony stark: beter you have to be fucking kiddding me if i think who it is IS

biderman:

biderman: on the off chance of being wrong who do u think it is

hawkguy: wade wilson 

tony stark: SON OFABITCH

steve rogers: my god 

grease: i was called? also found this creature, may i keep it