Chapter Text
The rest of the day was a bit of a whirlwind. After exchanging enthusiastic greetings and hugs with Bobby and Gavin, Dean left it to Crowley to explain what had gone down, while he reclaimed his car and went to the hospital to check in on Sam.
Thankfully, his brother’s injuries weren’t too terrible. His arm was indeed broken, but it was a clean break, so it should heal easily enough. It still made Dean want to go back to the police station and give Lucifer a taste of his own medicine, and it was probably a good thing that Castiel was in the waiting room with him to talk him down from doing anything rash.
Shortly before they discharged Sam, Castiel received a text from Gabriel, ordering them to come to Crowley’s when they were done, where he was throwing a celebration. Dean sighed. He supposed there was a lot to celebrate, but what he needed right now was time to think.
“You know you don’t have to come,” Sam said from the passenger seat as Dean drove, the drive to Crowley’s feeling oddly surreal after all this time. Castiel was driving over in his own car, but Dean had suggested that his brother ride with him this time. He couldn’t put it into words, but he just needed to be with Sam right now, to know that he was alright.
“Yeah, Gabriel will take that well,” Dean muttered with a roll of his eyes.
“Gabriel can deal.”
He shook his head. “My freedom is one of the things we’re celebrating here,” he pointed out.
“Yeah, but I mean, a lot’s happened. Everyone will understand if it’s too much for you right now, what with being around Crowley...”
Dean sighed. “What will Gavin think if I’m not there?” Honestly, Gavin was the hardest part about all of this right now. The kid had been through so much, and Dean didn’t want to do anything more to hurt him.
“You’re not his father, Dean,” Sam reminded him gently.
“Yeah, I am. And if anything, I need to be around Crowley. I need to talk to him, at least. Preferably not at a party, but that’s Gabriel for you.”
“Yeah. You know he’s in charge of the prison now?”
“Seriously?” he glanced over at him with raised eyebrows. Gabriel in charge of something was just something he couldn’t quite picture.
“Yeah. He’s who’s been there the longest. I mean, he said he’s going to give the job to Crowley as soon as he’s able.”
Dean grinned. “Good. He’ll be happy about that.”
Sam looked at him out of the corner of his eyes. “I got the impression that’s his third priority at the moment, but yeah.”
He blinked. Third...? Him and Gavin, of course. So much for being a heartless bastard who didn’t care about anything but his own success. He was a family man, now. Under other circumstances, Dean might have laughed at that. Right now, he couldn’t bring himself to, though. He knew that Crowley loved him, and he knew he loved him back, but.... He opted to change the subject. “What about Jack? What happens to the kid?”
“Cas is taking him in.”
“Cas? Isn’t he a little young?”
Sam arched an eyebrow at him. “He’s only a year younger than you, and Jack is the same age as Gavin.”
“Yeah, but... how do you feel about it?”
His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, you’re only like six years older than him, and if you and Cas-”
“Dean, would you let that go?” he said exasperatedly. “There’s nothing going on between us.”
“Fine, but if there were...”
“If there were, Jack is a great kid,” he sighed. “I’d be – I mean, it doesn’t matter, but.... I think Cas is making the right choice, taking him in,” he continued more firmly. “Jack needs a good home, and Cas will take good care of him.”
“Well, as long as you’re on board,” he said with a small grin.
He rolled his eyes. “Can’t imagine what’ll happen if we do get together. At this rate, you’ll have our wedding planning in a month.”
Dean went quiet, his amused smile slipping from his face and his eyes focused on the road.
“...Dean?” Sam asked after a few seconds.
“Crowley asked me to marry him,” he confessed, his voice barely more than a whisper. “The night before I found out. I said yes. We just hadn’t gotten around to telling people yet.”
Sam blew out his breath slowly. “I’m sorry.”
He shook his head. “I can’t go back to that. I mean, I know I want to be with him, but I can’t just pick back up our engagement after finding out he’s been lying to me this whole time.”
“So, tell him what you need. I’m sure he’ll be willing to work with you.”
Dean nodded, slowing down as they approached the front gate and leaning out the window to punch in the passcode. “Yeah, you’re probably right,” he muttered as the gate swung open and he continued forward, though he didn’t sound convinced, even to his own ears.
“Dean-”
“Just drop it, okay?” he cut him off. “We’re here to celebrate.”
The look Sam gave him made it clear that he didn’t want to leave the conversation there, but nevertheless, he backed down with a sigh.
When they reached the front door, Dean hesitated. Should he knock? Or should he just walk in like he still lived there, because he hadn’t technically moved out? But he didn’t want to set any precedent, pretending like nothing had changed. But he wasn’t here to see Crowley, he was here for a party that he had been invited to, so....
Sam reached past him and opened the door. Dean shot him a subtly grateful look and then followed him inside the familiar house that he had until recently thought of as his home. It was an odd sensation – both comforting in the familiarity and uncomfortable in the circumstances at the same time.
They followed the sound of voices and found Crowley, Gabriel, and Bobby chatting around the kitchen island while Jack and Gavin sat at the table together. Gavin looked towards the doorway and smiled when he saw Dean, though his smile looked slightly more clouded than it had been back at Bobby’s, a hint of worry creeping into his expression.
“Look who finally made it,” Gabriel greeted them, raising his glass slightly. “Where’s my little brother?”
“He was just a little bit behind us,” Dean replied.
“Drink?” Crowley offered, indicating an empty glass.
“Thanks,” he nodded, walking forward as Crowley poured him some Scotch. He ignored the other man’s eyes on him as he picked up the glass and took a drink, choosing to focus on the comforting burn of the alcohol instead.
“How’s the arm?” Bobby asked as Sam joined them around the island.
“Not too bad,” Sam answered as he picked up one of the beer bottles on the counter. “They gave me some meds to help.”
“Which I’m sure will go great with the alcohol,” Crowley commented.
Sam just shrugged as he took a drink.
Castiel showed up not long after, and Dean was glad to find that the presence of their friends made things at least mildly less awkward between him and Crowley. They talked and laughed and Gabriel complained about his new responsibilities. After about an hour or so, Dean excused himself to use the bathroom, pausing at the table where Gavin and Jack sat on his way.
“Hey, kid.”
Jack looked up curiously as he was addressed.
“You did a good thing today. I think I owe you an apology.” His gaze slid to Gavin, who was also looking up at him. “Both of you.”
Gavin just nodded, but Jack smiled and said, “It’s okay. I was just glad I could help.”
Dean clapped his hand on his shoulder. “You helped a lot.” And he gave the boy a small smile before he left the room.
He was glad he had been wrong about Jack. Gavin could use a friend like him, and hell, it would probably be good for Castiel to have someone to take care of. He still didn’t think he was wrong to have been suspicious, but he probably could have been a little easier on the kid.
When he walked out of the bathroom, he was surprised to find Gavin standing there, leaning against the opposite wall of the hallway with his eyes downcast.
“Gavin?”
“Father says you’re leaving,” he said in a hollow voice without looking up from the floor.
Dean blinked. Whatever he had expected him to say, it hadn’t been that. “Uh...” What the hell was he supposed to say? He couldn’t exactly reassure him that he wasn’t, but he hadn’t even talked to Crowley about leaving yet. Though, he could definitely understand how he had come to that conclusion.
“I mean, I knew if you’d leave if you ever found out what he’d done,” Gavin continued. “But... I guess I was just hoping you’d never find out. Guess that makes me just as selfish as him.”
“Hey.” He stepped forward and placed a hand on his shoulder, seeking the boy’s eyes until he finally looked up at him. “You’re not selfish. And I’m not running out on you. I just need some time.”
Surprise sparked in his eyes and then his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “You’re staying with him?”
Dean hesitated. “Probably. But don’t tell him that. I don’t want him to think he gets off so easily.” He gave him a small smile and a wink before he became serious again. “I am gonna move out, for a bit. Just to get some space, think things through. But nothing’s changed. And if you need anything, you can always call me. Okay?”
Gavin seemed to be working to keep his emotions from his face, but flashes of joy and sadness both peaked through. Like father like son. He nodded “Okay.”
He patted Gavin’s shoulder reassuringly before dropping his hand, then they wordlessly made their way back to the kitchen. Dean slowed as they reached the room, allowing Gavin to walk in before him as he paused in the doorway, his eyes seeking Crowley’s. It only took the other man a moment to meet his gaze, and as Dean jerked his chin to the side, he got the hint and excused himself from the conversation. Dean turned and walked a ways down the hall, trusting that Crowley was following him.
“So.” He turned to face Crowley once he felt they were a safe distance from the others to avoid being overheard (or more accurately, to avoid Gabriel eavesdropping). “Did you tell Gavin I’m leaving in the hopes that he would guilt-trip me to stay?”
Crowley’s expression was far too innocent to be believable. “Now, does that sound like something I’d do?”
“Yes,” Dean answered without hesitation.
“Well, if I did… did it work?”
He laughed as he leaned back against the wall. “No,” he replied, but he was still smiling.
Crowley shrugged, his gaze darting down to the ground. “Worth a shot.”
“You lied to me, Crowley,” Dean said, his demeanor becoming more serious. “You kept something huge from me. And it’s stuff that I deserved to know.”
“I know,” he muttered without looking up at him.
“I still love you, but… I just need some time.”
At that, Crowley looked up at him again. “Some time?” he repeated, a note of hope creeping into his voice.
He nodded. “Yeah. I just need to figure out how to trust you again. Once I figure that out… I’ll let you know.”
“I suppose that’s fair. Don’t know how Gavin and I are going to fare without you, though.”
Dean grinned. “You’ll manage just fine. Just be patient with him and show him that you care every once in a while. And if you need me, I’ll be here.”
“Thank you.”
He started to turn to head back to the kitchen, but Crowley stopped him with a hand on his arm. “The same goes for you too, you know.”
“Huh?” Dean muttered as he looked back at him.
“I know how much you loathe asking for help, and I won’t be around make you make you accept it,” he explained, his eyes locked on Dean’s intently. “So please, for the love of god, call me if you need anything.”
He smiled, a warmth flowing through him at the desperation in Crowley’s voice. “I’ll try to remember that.”
“You better.”
With that, they made their way back to the kitchen, where everyone had gravitated to sit around the table. Crowley took the available seat between Gabriel and Gavin, while Dean went to sit beside his brother. There was a ways to go before things were back to normal, but it was getting better. And for now, Dean supposed, that was all he could ask for.