Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

I took a deep breath as I straightened my shirt yet again. Its soft lavender color reflected in the blued purple of my eyes. Eyes that checked my outfit over in the mirror for the fifth time that morning. The outfit was simple. Just the soft top with a slightly scooped neckline over nice jeans. They covered the tops of my favorite brown ankle boots. My coat was a simple black waterproof number that looked fine, as did the rest of me really. I worried my lip and tucked a strand of soft brown hair behind my ear that had come loose from my braid.

“First day jitters?” A middle aged woman spoke from behind me as she came from the living room into the front hall. I twitched at the voice.

“I know it’s a little crazy, Beth, but I’ve never done this before.” I defended myself. Beth smiled, her greying hair shaking as she shook her head.

“You’ll be fine.” Beth assured me. “New people and new places isn’t new. You were fine in college.” She reminded me with a smirk. I nodded with an internal sigh. I adjusted the strap of my bag over my shoulder and set my shoulders for good measure. I walked over to the door and paused. I turned back with my mouth open to speak but Beth interrupted me before I could. “Amaranth, either march that butt out the door, or, so help me, I will kick it out for you.” She said with a teasing laugh. I smiled in spite of myself and left quickly, letting Beth’s chuckles fade behind me.

I arrived at the high school parking lot in plenty of time. Early, in fact. I parked in front of the main office, cognoscente of the fact that there were no other students near it. I got out of the car and hurried into the building through the rain. The front door shut with a loud click behind me.

The woman at the front desk smiled up at me as she peered at me through her glasses. The room smelled of her perfume, nothing too nauseating, but as pushy as her smile. She set aside a paper, after she made a mark on it, onto one of the teetering piles at her desk. He red hair fell loose and slightly wavy over her purple tee shirt.

“Can I help you?” She asked. I smiled at her and nodded.

“Its my first day. I’m Amara.” I explained. She still looked confused. “Beth Turner registered me.” Her face cleared on its pondering and assessing look.

“Amaranth!” She greeting. It sounded somewhat disingenuous, but her smile was bright. “Of course.” She carefully flipped through a messy stack of papers on her desk. She triumphantly pulled loose a few paper-clipped pieces of paper. She brought them over to the counter that bisected the room where I stood waiting. She gave me my schedule, paperwork to get signed, and a map. She highlighted the best routes to take to each class for me.

“Thank you for all your help Ms. Grey.” I told her pleasantly with a smile. “You’ve been so kind.” She smiled wide and took it graciously, obviously pleased.

“I hope you like it here in our town.” She wished me. I smiled.

“I like it so far.” I told her truthfully. As if I would say it any other way.

I quickly studied the map before she left the room, memorizing the way to my first class. First I moved my car. The blue paint of the small car blended in fine, as did the obvious older model of the car. I locked up and patted the bonnet fondly before I started to weave through the throng of teenagers to the right building. Thankfully, they were numbered.

“Hey!” A male voice greeted from my left. I turned to look. A small Asian teen came bounding up, full of energy. “I’m Eric. You must be Amaranth.” He smiled widely at me as he came to a stop in front of me.

“I prefer Amara, actually.” I corrected with a half-smile. Prefer was one way to put it. The Asian teen took out a pad and scribbled it down.

“Great info for your feature.” He said. “I work on the school paper and you are big news.” I laughed quietly.

“Really?” I asked, still laughing and smiling at him. “How many new students do you get?” I cocked her head to the side still smiling.

“You’re the first all year.” Eric told her. “I have to get an interview.” He looked excited and a little desperate. I took pity on him.

“How ‘bout I see you at lunch and answer your questions?” I suggested. I pointed out the clock on the wall. “I’d hate to be late on my first day.” I said with a grin. “I’ll save that for a rainy day.” I winked at him, willing him to share the joke. He laughed.

“Uh, cool.” He agreed. “No problem.” He backed up, putting his notebook away. “I will see you at lunch.” He looked at the paper in her hands. “Which class do you have?”

“English.” I told him with a twisted smile. “I have a whole three more classrooms to pass that way.” I pointed in the direction I was going. “I can already see the door.” Eric looked and nodded.

“Mr. Mason’s class.” He told me. “Good.” He looked exited. “I have to go there too. I can introduce you to him.” I smiled at him, a little overwhelmed by the helpfulness, but went along with it.

“Sounds great.” I thanked him. He led the way, unnecessarily, to the classroom. He hung up his coat on one of the hooks by the wall and I followed suit. Eric made his way to the easily 6’ 2” man at the teacher’s desk. He spoke to him quickly, explaining who I was, and the nickname. I went up to the two of them with an easy smile on my face that I didn’t exactly feel as Mr. Mason got out some papers from his desk.

“Here is the reading list and the syllabus.” He instructed. I nodded, looking over the list quickly. “There’s a seat for you in the back.” I handed him the form I needed signed and he initialed it with a scant glance.

“Thank you.” I told him as sincerely as I could. I took the form and smiled at him with another nod of thanks before thanking Eric and going to the back row’s empty seat. Students in the class turned and stared. Eric waved and told me he’d talk to me after class. I smiled and murmured in agreement.

I put the form away and pulled out a pencil and a pad, but pulled the syllabus over it. The bell rang and the teacher began to rally the class into a discussion on Jane Eyre. He tried repeatedly to get answers from the students, trying to get their responses to the book. I had read the book years ago, but remembered it well.

“What about Jane’s urge to carve out her own life?” Mr. Mason asked. “What do you think of it? What makes this interesting?” The class was silent. I sighed a little, but raised my hand. Mr. Mason looked up at me in surprise. “Amaranth. You have an answer for us?” He sounded as surprised as he looked. I smiled.

“I find Jane’s burgeoning individuality unique to the time period in its proto-feministic attitudes to the status of women in society.” I told him. “The time period in which this was written is intrinsic to its story, as a woman of that time written with such character and veracity was a rarity.” Mr. Mason’s mouth fell open a bit and the class stared at me. I had just quoted a paper a write once. “Also, could you please call me Amara?.” Eyebrows went up.

“Very nice.” Mr. Mason said eventually. “Yes.” He paused. “Jane is self-motivated and independent. It was rare at the time was a woman who wanted and could take care of herself or even wanted to, to be written about, especially in a good light.” The class moved on, but there were glances back at me throughout the class. Mr. Mason no longer left me out of his random calling on students, now calling me by Amara, and I answered his questions a little less verbosely.

The end of class bell rang shortly after Mr. Mason handed out the homework assignment. The short written response to the next chapter wouldn’t be a hardship. Eric came up to me at the back of the room.

“Wow.” He said. “You must be super smart.” I shook my head.

“I’ve just read the book a few times and wrote a paper on it already.” I told him honestly. I just left out where. “Just wait until we get to something I haven’t read yet, then I will look like a fish out of water.” I said with a smile. He relaxed a bit and walked ahead of me as I made my way to the front of the classroom. Mr. Mason gave me a nod of approval with his balding head. Sucking up the teachers would work, probably. I would have to rely on being pretty and nice, not to mention new and shiny, to get out of being picked on for it. I smiled and nodded back.

“So.” Eric began as we grabbed our coats. “What class do you have now?”

“Government.” I informed him. Eric nodded.

“I’ll show you where it is.” He offered. I tried to refuse, saying it would be out of his way, but he insisted. I shrugged and he led the way. We were followed suspiciously closely by people who were watching us. I tried to ignore them.

“Thanks.” I said shaking my head at his eagerness.

“So, this must be lots different from New York.” Eric offered, trying to start a conversation. I smiled at his attempt.

“Why am I not surprised that the reporter knows where I’m from?” I teased. Eric looked ready to explain, but I cut him off. “Well, it’s a lot friendlier, for one.” I told him kindly. He smiled.

“I bet it’s weird to not have all those people and noise.” He commented. I laughed.

“I’m glad I get to drive my car, actually.” I told him honestly. “There is nowhere to park in NY, and it’s nice to be able to drive it somewhere.” Eric laughed.

“Great quote for the feature.” Eric told me. I smiled. We walked in the door of the other building. He dropped me off quickly, after he had me explain my comment on Jane.

Government was reading. Trig was just a worksheet. I turned mine in to the substitute and left for Spanish. I had a few brave students introduce themselves to me. They would give me their names and ask how I was liking Forks. My go-to answer was that there was not enough rain, and to wink. I got a few chuckles. Jessica started talking to me before the bell had rung for Spanish. She had been bursting at the seams in math, and now that the militaristic sub was in the past, she got to talk. And talking was something she excelled at. She gave me a running commentary on the school. By the end of the hour, I knew who the couples were, who the exes were, and which teachers would let you out of class.

She and a few of her friends escorted me to lunch. I tried not to smile down at the 5 foot nothing girl. She was full of insecurity and energy. I waved to Eric when I saw he was at my table. He grinned and waved back.

“So what’s New York like?” Mike asked with a wide and easy smile. I laughed with a few of my table.

“It’s loud.” I started. “Always moving, never sleeping.” I added. “It’s dirty and windy and expensive. And pretty awesome, in its own way.” I smiled at the last.

“Did you see someone get shot?” Eric asked. I shook my head.

“But someone did get shot on our street before we moved.” I added. They all gasped. I nodded in confirmation.

“Why Forks?” A girl whose name I didn’t know asked.

“Because we like the rain.” I said with a smile. I got a couple of chuckles at that.

“Your mom likes the rain too?” Jessica asked. I nodded.

“It’s an acquired taste, but she is a writer and rain inspires her.” I admitted. “I might be sick of the rain in a few months.” The conversation turned to catching up on what had happened over the weekend, which as it turned out, wasn’t much. I dug into my food, chewing slowly to avoid talking and looking around the room.

All around me were groups I’d only seen described in books before. The art-sy crowd, the jocks, the nerds, and music geeks. All the usual tables. I noticed, with slight chagrin, that this was probably the popular table, given the stares, and the many hanger’s on. One table stood out though. I cocked my head a little, staring. Something was off about them.

There was a tall blonde model, a gorgeous broad shouldered boy, a small, frankly adorable, sprite of a girl, hanging near a blonde boy who appeared to hate breathing, and a tall boy with reddish brown sex hair. All overly perfect. Seriously weird. No one approached their table. Suddenly, the sex haired boy turned his head quickly to face the table. He caught my eyes, making mine widen. They were a molten dark gold. They held my gaze, enraptured and puzzled.

“I see you found the Cullens.” Jessica teased. I started and blinked, then I half turned to her with a smile.

“The Cullens?” I asked. I faced her more fully, keeping the table in my periphery. The whole table stilled by the slightest degree. The sex-haired boy kept his eyes on our table.

“Yeah.” Jessica told me, in a tone that warned of juicy gossip approaching. I leaned in a little, which made her smile.

“That’s Edward and Emmet Cullen, with Alice Cullen. The two blonde ones are Rosalie and Jasper Hale.” Jessica told me in confidence. Then she lean forward. “They all live together with Dr. Cullen and his wife.” I raised an eyebrow, like I was expected to. She nodded. “I know.” I peered back over at the table.

“Do they usually look like they all stepped off a cat walk?” I asked blandly, glancing at them. Sex-hair as staring at me. Glaring at me like it would make me reveal my secrets. As if I would make it that easy.

“Yes!” Jessica said gleefully. “They’re all together, though.” Jessica warned me. “Emmett and Rosalie. And then Jasper and Alice. I mean…” She glanced around a little, checking for listeners. “And…they live together.” She said meaningfully. I could sense her shock and slight condemnation, along with her jealousy. I nodded seriously, internally shaking my head.

“Which ones are which?” I asked. Jessica had obviously warmed to her subject.

“Jasper and Rosalie are the blonde twins. They’re the Hales and they are foster children. They both are eighteen now, but they’ve been with Mrs. Cullen since they were eight. I think she’s their Aunt or something.” I nodded sagely.

“It’s great that she took them in. Good for her, especially because I guess she wasn’t very old.” I said with interest.

“I guess so...” Jessica said trailing off. Some of my confusion must have shown. “I don’t think Mrs. Cullen can have any kids, though.” She added. I nodded, forcing the anger and disappointment I felt from showing. I flicked my gaze back to the table. The little pixie girl that I wanted to hug and give a cookie to she was so adorable skipped gracefully to the trash and threw away what looked like a full tray. I took a swallow of my milk, in remembrance of my own meal, while warning bells went off in my head.

“How long have they lived here?” I asked, staying casually interested.

“They just moved down here two years ago from Alaska.” She told me. I nodded and added it to my list. I internally started making a list of inquiries. They didn’t look… right. Sex-hair was still staring at me, but he wasn’t being as obvious about it.

“Which one is the one with the… reddish hair?” I asked, catching myself just barely from calling him Sex-hair. Jessica looked peeved, but put on a fake smile.

“That’s Edward.” Jessica told me. “He’s gorgeous, of course, but don’t waste your time. He doesn’t date. Apparently none of the girls here are good enough for him.” I could practically taste the bitterness. I had the take a bite of apple to not laugh at her. After I swallowed and calmed myself, I turned back to her, as Sex-hair, now Edward, got up and threw away his tray. It was also full.

“I get it.” I told her. “I don’t date either.” Jessica looked offended.

“What do you mean?” Jessica said, louder than everything else up to this point. “You don’t date?” She looked like I had grown a tail. I laughed.

“Just think of it this way; more fish in the sea for you.” I told her, she looked mollified, but still shocked.

“Never?” Eric asked from my other side. I nodded.

“Never have, and I doubt that will change any time soon.” I told him. “Maybe after college.” Eric looked sad. I picked up tray and held a hand out for his. “Want me to take care of your tray?” I offered. He looked up from his hands at my smile, he smiled back and shrugged. I took his empty tray and bussed them both.

Everyone cleaned up and we all headed to our next classes. Angela walked me to Biology. She was a sweet girl and we talked about baking, of all things, already planning on baking pies over at her house sometime. Angela went in and hung up her coat on the hooks by the door. I followed her example. She wished me luck and sat over to fill one of the black lab table in the room. I went to get my form signed as the bell rang. I noticed that all but one seat was filled. The seat next to Edward Cullen.

I walked down the aisle and sat in the vacant seat. He scooted away but faced me. I turned likewise.

“Hello.” He greeted. His voice carried a greater weight than it should. It confused me, and I added it to my list of weird things to look into. “I’m Edward Cullen. You’re Amara Turner.” I smiled at him.

“No need for such formality.” I told him. “Use my Christian name.” He smiled slightly, seemingly in spite of himself.

“As you wish, Amara.” He said. The cadence of his speech was off. I put a little check mark next to the fact that he knows what a Christian name means. I still gave him a smile. Even if… well I didn’t have enough information. No hasty decisions. He was probably not what I thought anyway.

Class started. The teacher began the lesson on DNA replication. I nearly died of boredom. I ended up doodling a model double helix in my notebook, labeling it, and then drawing it in the middle of replicating. Eventually, the last bit of class was a worksheet, during which we could talk.

“So…” I struggled for small talk. “I hear you’re a foster child.” He looked at me strangely. “Or was it adopted?” I thought for a moment. His face cleared a bit, as he glanced at some of the girls in the class.

“Adopted.” Edward answered. I nodded.

“Ah.” I said sagely. “Cool.” I smiled at him. He looked confused again.

“Cool?” He asked. I smiled wider and chuckled a little at him.

“Because we could start a club.” I told him. He face cleared.

“You’re adopted.” He said.

“Right in one.” I told him with a lopsided grin. “So I do kind of understand.” I turned a little more in my seat after jotting down a couple of answers. “How long have you been with the Cullens?”

“It feels like forever.” Edward told me, dark humor coloring his voice. I felt the inclination to touch him. It was strange. Also, forever was another check mark. “And you?”

“About the same.” I told him, just as evasively. He furrowed his brow. And it was the most beautiful furrowed brow I had ever seen. I mean, really, who looks beautiful with a furrowed brow?

“And before that?” Edward asked, pressing. His face was searching, he seemed unsatisfied with my answers and frustrated for some reason.

“Here and there.” I shrugged. “I don’t really like to talk about it very much. It wasn’t a good time.” Edward looked sympathetic and frustrated at the same time. It was amusing. “I mean, do you want to talk about the time in your life before you were adopted?” Edward shook his head. I wrote down a couple more answers. He glanced at my page.

“Have you taken this class before?” He asked. I internally cursed myself a little for being distracted, but went with my story.

“I was home schooled.” I explained. “I always had a thirst for knowledge. The practical labs are probably going to be interesting, but book knowledge? I’ve got it down.” Edward gave me a slight smile and nod of the head. I remembered all my hours of studying over the years, alone with my books.

“That’s good to hear, Ms. Turner.” The teacher told me from behind my head. I turned and smiled at him. “Are you done with your work too?” He asked. I nodded and reached blindly for my paper. My hand met a cold hard one and I looked with a gasp of shock. The flare of recognition went through me. He jerk his hand away, and I recovered to grab the paper and hand it to the teacher. Edward handed his over as well, though I had been watching, and he had written barely anything in my sight, which meant something, but I was reeling. The teacher looked them over and nodded. “Good thing you two are partnered then.” He walked away with the papers to help out other groups. I took a moment to steady myself, then turned back to Edward. Who was definitely something?

“So.” I started, trying to recover the nonchalance. “Batman or Superman?” He looked at me strangely. “We should know the important things about each other.” I explained with a smirk. He seemed to laugh slightly in spite of himself. And wow that was a nice sound. He calmed himself.

“I must say that I do prefer Superman.” Edward admitted. I fake frowned.

“Heathen.” I hissed with a wink. “Batman is the only good choice.”

“But Superman would win.” Edward countered. I shook my head.

“Not everything is about winning.” I explained. “Batman is a whole person. He has needs, and desires, and faults. He still, in spite of all of the obstacles and physical injury, fights the good fight every night.” I explained. “Yeah he uses his wealth, but he puts his life on the line every day.” I raised an eyebrow at him. “Tell me that Superman goes to work knowing that he might die today, that he is not doing this because he was told to.” Edward paused in thought for a microsecond, his entire body freezing even in breathing. I added it too my list of suspicions, but kept up the interested friendly smile.

“I see your point.” Edward conceded, breathing again. I smiled wider.

“Excellent.” I changed subjects. “Pick a superpower. Invisibility, or flying.”

“Flying.” Edward shot back immediately. I smiled.

“We agree.” I winked at him. “Something about the wind in your hair and speeding along is just glorious.” He gave me a surprised, but genuine, smile. It was breathtaking. I bit my lip. “Cats or dogs?” He looked a little lost for a fraction of second, then responded.

“Cats.” He decided. I smiled.

“Another accord.” I celebrated. “2 out of 3 ain’t bad, as Meatloaf said. Now we can be friends.”

“It wouldn’t be wise to be friends with me.” Edward warned. I shrugged.

“Fools rush in, where wise men never go.” I quoted. He raised an eyebrow. I raised one back. The bell rang. We all left the room. Edward fled as soon as he could, moving with controlled speed and grace. I shrugged.

“Oh my god.” Angela said, coming up behind me. “You talked with Edward Cullen and got him to laugh. You have to tell me everything.” I smiled.

“Ok.” I turned to Angela after a moment of staring where he had gone. “He’s… interesting.”

Chapter Text

That night, I did some research, but nothing added up. I even hacked the police database for missing persons or deaths and there was no pattern. Nothing. They must be something I didn’t know about. And wasn’t that intriguing. They weren’t hurting anyone, from what I could tell. And if they came from Alaska like the rumors said, then the pattern would hold. I cleared the records of my search off my computer and turned off my light for bed at nearly 2 am. I looked over at the simple sketch I had made of Edward’s face. I smiled sadly, with faint hope. Maybe.

I settled down in the bed for sleep, wishing the curtains on my window were thicker to block out the light of the moon, and closed my eyes, starting to meditate. I almost slipped out of my breathing pattern when I heard a slight sound at the window sometime later. I stayed still, relaxed and rhythmically breathing in bed. I saw a humanoid shape in my mind’s eye, lurking at the window. I waited. Nothing happened. I lay there all night, waiting, and nothing. After the sun rose and hit my face, I opened my eyes. There was a streak a color outside the window, then nothing. I almost missed it myself. I was glad that my window was locked. I wondered what it had been. Who it had been.

Going over to the window, I opened it to the day. There was nothing. No marks. No trace of powder, or sign that something had been there. I left them open and pulled the curtains shut as I got ready for school, shutting and locking the window again as I left the room.

I shook off the stress of the morning as I parked at the school. The roads had been particularly icy that day, and I had needed especial care on the roads. My little Buick was pushing 50, and I didn’t need to stress it too badly, even though I knew it was built like a tank. I got out of my car in the student lot and went around to the passenger’s side, listening to my music through my headphones. I opened the passenger’s side door and pulled out my backpack, quickly shutting it behind me and pocketing the keys. Still facing the car, I pulled out my can of red bull and zipped the bag.

I heard tires squeal and spun. The first thing I saw was the horror on the faces of Edward and Alice across the parking lot. Then I took in the huge metal van hurtling towards me across the icy parking lot. I was going to be crushed between the two cars.

“Crap.” I whispered, and closed my eyes, dropping my bag.

I felt a hard force slam into me. But not from the direction I was expecting. When I opened my eyes, I saw the van approaching as I was pushed to the ground. My head hit the pavement and bounced. I saw a hand outstretched from above me, toward the van. As the van struck it, it crushed it. And not the hand. The van. The hand crushed the speeding van. The hand then acted as a fulcrum, pulling the other side of the van closer to us. That is, me and my mystery helper. I heard a grumble of a male voice above me as he grabbed my legs and swung them out of the way of the van. It stopped. I relaxed against the pavement and the hard arm holding me.

“Amara.” A voice called urgently. He turned me over. I was faced with the very eyes I had been drawing the night before. I heard frantic calls from the other side of the cars. “Amara, are you hurt?” Edward seemed slightly frantic himself.

“I’m fine.” I said in surprise. “Not a scratch.” I assured him, slightly breathless. He relaxed a little. “Hide the handprint.” I reminded him, blinking back at him, a little hazy. He looked surprised for a moment, then schooled his face.

“What handprint?” I looked back and only saw a crushed side. I raised an eyebrow.

“The one that was there a minute ago.” I said slowly. “After you stopped the van.”

“I think you hit your head too hard.” He said in a clenched tone. I sighed.

Then the group found us and started fussing. Edward was quick to mention that I hit my head. That meant I was strapped in and put in an ambulance. I was fussed over and Beth was called and it was entirely frustrating.

At the hospital, Tyler was incredibly apologetic. Overly so. Annoyingly so.

“Amaranth.” The doctor greeted. I looked up. He was blonde, and unrealistically gorgeous. Too much, in the same way that Edward was.

“Amara.” I corrected. He smiled. His name tag read Dr. Cullen. I wasn’t surprised.

“That was quite a spill you took.” He commented. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine.” I said with a shrug. Beth was hovering, and I really was fine.

“You might experience some post-traumatic stress or disorientation, but your vitals look good.” He told me. “No sign of head trauma. You should be just fine.” I nodded, not really worried, while he made some notation in the chart.

“Yep.” I said popping the p. “Edward saw it coming and got us out of the way. I was just too distracted.”

“Edward?” Beth asked. I nodded to confirm.

“Edward Cullen.” I answered.

“Any relation?” She asked the doctor. He nodded.

“My son.” He looked stressed.

“Yeah, we got lucky.” I told them, looking at Carlisle for tells. “That van could have crushed me.” Carlisle nodded with a smile.

“I guess you were very lucky.” He said. He wished me fast recovery and told me what danger signs to look for, before leaving. He looked stressed around the eyes. Beth and I talked for a moment about the accident and arranged for my ride to school the next day. We grabbed my things and Beth went to pay while I made my way to the exit.

Around the corner I saw Rosalie, Carlisle, and Edward all speaking in hushed voices, hushed voices that were too low for anyone passing to hear. And all three of them were stressed. I took a deep breath and interrupted.

“Edward.” I called. He turned to me. “Can I talk to you for a moment?” I asked with faux sweetness. He practically stomped over, angrily. I smiled at him.

“What?” He asked shortly, looking like he wanted to be anywhere else. The anger confused me and threw me off.

“Um.” I started. He looked more annoyed. “Thank you.” He nodded, still looked upset.

“You’re welcome.” He said just as shortly. I paused, searching for the right words. He let out an impatient breath. “Can I go now?” I shook my head.

“I just wanted to say…” I paused. He glowered. “I saw what you really did.” He looked like he was going to speak and I spoke over it. “And I appreciate the risk you took.” I told him. “And your secret, whether or not you tell it, is safe with me.” He looked confused. I sighed. “I’m not going to tell anyone.”

“There’s nothing to tell.” Edward countered in a terse tone. I smiled in spite of his animosity.

“Exactly.” I told him. “We got lucky. It all happened so fast.” I winked at him. I half turned to go. “But I am curious.” I said. He froze halfway through his own turn. “And if you did tell me, I could surprise you.” He was unlikely to be what I feared. He had saved me, after all.

“You always do.” He muttered as he walked away. I chuckled under my breath.

***********

“I swear to God that today is the day that I am going to slap him.” I ranted to Beth in the kitchen. “I have sat next to the bastard for over an hour every single day for bloody months.” I set the plate I had just dried in the cupboard with more force than necessary. “If he wasn’t driving me up the wall, I would be impressed that he has managed to go so long without speaking directly to me. I think he has been inventing hand gestures just to do so.” Beth laughed at me. I pouted. She laughed harder.

“I’m sorry that your teenage crush doesn’t know you exist.” Beth teased.

“Oh, he knows I exist.” I argued. “He shoots me enough confused looks or stares at me when I’m not looking for me to know that. But dear god the boy is frustrating.” I grumbled while Beth put away the last cup in the cupboard.

“Have patience.” Beth advised. “Teenage boys are delicate creatures.” I scoffed.

“I am going to delicately steal his backpack and hide it so that he has to talk to me to get it back.” I counter. Beth’s eyes crinkled with laughter as she shoved my backpack into my hands.

“The boy cared enough to pull you out of the path of a moving car.” Beth reminded me. “You can wait until he gets his head out of his ass.” I huffed, but took the bag and slung it over my shoulder.

“It is a far, far, better thing I do now than I have ever done before.” I quoted in resigned solemnity. Beth chuckled and shook her head.

“I think my mother would disagree with you.” Beth countered, a small fond smile stealing across her face. I reflected my own at her and pulled her into a hug.

“She would have been so proud of you.” I told her truthfully. I kissed her cheek and gave her a parting hair ruffle on my way out the door. She smacked my butt in response. “Very mature!” I shot back at her laughing form before a shut the door behind me with a smile.

At school, I suffered through a boring grammar lesson in English that was pointless, and needlessly pedantic, and other lessons that were entirely unmemorable, before I made my weary way to lunch. That, at least, was worth it. Angela and I had become reasonably good friends and had had a few Saturdays of baking at her house. She had been one of the ones to help me field all of the inquisitive well-wishers in the post-accident era.

Talk was all about the Dance. It was girl’s choice, and Jessica was usually a whirlwind of information about it. Not today though. Today, Jessica was quiet and withdrawn, and barely looking at me. I wondered what had happened to make her so upset.

I found out the next period. Mike was quiet as Angela and I walked with him to class. He had taken to chatting with me before the bell at my desk, perched on top with his legs swinging over the side. He looked supremely uncomfortable and nervous.

“So…” Mike said, refusing to meet my eyes. “Jessica asked me to the spring dance.” He nearly mumbled. My eyebrows went up. That explained her mood at lunch then. I hoped he hadn’t rejected her.

“What did you say?” I asked. Jessica was just insecure. She had a lot of growing up to do, and Mike would be good for her.

“Well…” He started, then swallowed. “I told her I had to think about it.” I was confused.

“Why would you do that?” I asked. Teenage boys must be a different species. I could feel Edward’s attention on me and he was shivering with what looked like laughter. Mike went a little red at the collar and licked his lips nervously. My head cocked to the side in confusion.

“Well…” He stuttered. “I was wondering if… if well… if you might be planning on asking me.” Both my eyebrows hit my hairline. Edward tilted his head slightly up toward me, as if on reflex, listening to me.

“Mike, you should tell her yes.” I told him calmly, pulling out my ‘mom voice.’ “I am not going to be dating anyone, and I am not going to that dance at all. It is impolite to keep a lady waiting.”

“Yeah.” Mike said, tone resigned. “You’re right.”

“I usually am.” I joked. He smiled, albeit sadly as he walked back to his seat. I turned to the teacher as the bell rang and closed my eyes. I took a deep breath and let it out, trying to drain the tension of the all the drama. I could feel Edward’s eyes on me as I opened mine and looked back at him. Mr. Banner, out teacher, was talking, but I was entranced by Edward’s eyes, soft and swirling like dark butter toffee. My heart stuttered in my chest like a traitor.

“The Krebs Cycle.” Edward said, answering Mr. Banner without missing a beat. He turned to look at the teacher. I thought I could find a hint of reluctance in his posture. My heart resumed its regular programing and I face forward again, eyes unseeing. Edward hadn’t met my eyes in over month, not since our little conversation at the hospital. Not a word, not a look, nothing. I turned over the strange, electrical tension between us in my mind. I analyzed possible reasons and motivations and got lost once again in the feeling of having him so close to me, yet so far away.

The bell broke my musings. I kept myself from jumping, but let in a sharp intake of breath. I scooted in my chair, expecting Edward to breeze past me.

“Amara?” Edward called in a tone that was almost tentative. I turned to look at him once again in surprise. He had broken his self-imposed silence.

“Are you going to talk to me again?” I asked, involuntarily. I winced at how resigned it sounded. He chuckled.

“Not really.” He teased, a half-smile playing across his face.

“Then what are we doing?” I asked, smiling slightly in spite of my frustration.

“I’m sorry.” He said sincerely. “I’m being very rude, I know. But it is better this way.”

“Better for who?” I asked. I looked into his eyes searchingly.

“It’s better for you if we are not friends.” He said earnestly, leaning forward slightly. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in through my nose. The slightly spicy scent of whatever his was wearing still intrigued me, but the anger won out. I reached down and grabbed my bag, shoving my books into it blindly. I stood and only then opened my eyes to see his. They went from sadly resigned to serious quickly.

“You are not the one who gets to decide what is best for me.” I told him with a calmness and control that I did not feel. “Do not try to make decisions for me, Edward.” I looked into his startled eyes. I guess my tone went a little too odd there. I sighed in resignation and turned around. He let me walk away.

Gym meant basketball today. I was still learning the rules of the game, having never played before, and caused my teammates a good bit of laughter. I laughed with them. Although that stopped when they found out that I could make it in the hoop from the three point line or anywhere near it nearly all the time. It was the trade-off for not being able to dribble the ball and run at the same time. Like, at all.

I was distracted though. Edward’s behavior confused me. I knew that his eyes had been on me when I hadn’t been facing him for weeks. He still seemed to regard me with much of the same fascination and confusion that I regarded him. Awareness of his presence was always somewhere in the back of my mind at school.

When gym finally ended, I changed back into street clothes, chatting with some of my teammates. We laughed over the coach tripping over a basketball earlier that period. The expression had been priceless. I walked out to my car after bidding the girls goodbye. The car had held up rather well. Much of the damage had been cosmetic. It had taken me less than weekend to fix it up road-worthy again. Of course, I had taken the opportunity to give her a tune up.

Leaning against the side of my car as I approach was Eric. We had gotten to be reasonably good friends, so it wasn’t too much of a surprise. The look of nervous discomfort on his face was, however.

“What’s up, buttercup?” I asked coming over to him with a smile. I hoped it wasn’t girl trouble. I wasn’t sure how to deal with that. He swallowed.

“Hi, Amara.” He nearly choked. Dear, I hoped the boy was ok.

“Uh...um…” He stuttered. “I was wondering… If you…. that is… would you…” He took a deep breath. “Would you go to the dance with me?” He let out in a rush. I tilted my head in confusion.

“The girl’s choice dance?” I clarified. He looked super embarrassed. Poor baby duck.

“Well, Yeah.” He admitted. His wouldn’t looked at me. I let out a low breath and gathered my patience. He really was a sweetheart, but far too immature. I was not going to be dating a high schooler. That would be just… wrong.

“I’m not asking anyone to the dance because I’m not going.” I told him a gently as I could. His shoulders slumped. “I’m not going to any dance. I don’t plan on going on any dates either.” I told him honestly.

“Oh.” He said. “Never?” He asked, still hopeful.

“Don’t keep your hopes up, Eric.” I told him. “In the highly unlikely event that I ever go on a date, it will be because I asked them.” I gave him a smile and pat on the shoulder as he slouched away with a sad goodbye.

Edward was walking past the front of my car with an amused expression. At least I thought it was amused. His lips were tightly pressed together and it looked like he was fighting laughter. I let out a huff of laughter myself and got into my car. I turned on the radio softly and turned over the engine, hearing it purr. By the time I pulled out in the aisle, Edward was already there, pulled to a stop. The rest of the Cullens were walking at a sedate pace to the car, all the way from the cafeteria. I grumbled at Edward’s annoying habits until I heard a knock at my window. I rolled it down halfway using the crank to see what Tyler wanted.

“What can I do you for?” I asked, faking a humor and ease I didn’t feel. “I can’t push Edward out of the way, but if he takes too much longer, I’ll try.” Tyler laughed and shook his head.

“Nah.” His disagreed. He thought I was kidding. My baby would total Edward’s little toy car. “I just wanted to ask you something, since we’re trapped here.” Oh god. If he asked me to the dance I might snap. Tyler got on my nerves on a good day. “Will you ask me to the spring dance?”

“No.” I responded quickly, still smiling. A patently fake smile, but a smile none the less. Tyler’s bravado faded a little.

“No?” He asked. I nodded.

“Not dating right now, Tyler.” I told him. I wondered if I was being cruel. I didn’t want to be cruel. But I did want him to stop asking me out. This was the third time.

“Yeah, Mike said that.” He admitted. My patience was very close to snapping.

“Why would you ask me when you already knew my answer?” I asked, confused by his logic. Teenage boy logic. They were like an exotic species. This entire situation was his fault. I was starting to lose my temper at his smug face. He seemed to think he was entitled to a date of something.

“I was hoping you were letting him down easy.” He admitted, shrugging and looking entirely full of himself. I had the urge to slap him.

“Not lying about this, Tyler.” I told him, trying not the clench my teeth. Not lying about anything. His shrugged again, still full of entitlement.

“Oh well. We will always have prom.” He said as he walked away back to his car. My jaw dropped at him inability to understand a no. If he tried again, I was just going to say hell no. Forget this being nice. I fumed as I followed a laughing Edward and his family out of the parking lot. I had to reign in the urge to break his precious little car. I settled for an oil leak in his precious car. It made me feel better. I bet Sex-hair Edward would have to get it fixed by someone who would get their hands dirty. Served him right for making me have that conversation with Tyler. I bet he planned it and enjoyed watching the whole thing.

Chapter Text

At home that night, I vented to Beth, who listened patiently, then told me to grow up. I laughed and calmed the rest of the way down. They were just kids, after all. They didn’t know better. I helped Beth clean up the mess from dinner as we chatted about her upcoming trip. She was leaving for London for two weeks the next day.

I helped her pack that night as we watched an old Disney film in her room.

“This meeting with the publishers could make your books international, right?” I asked again. Beth smiled and confirmed it.

“But it’s going to be a grueling set of meetings.” She argued. “My agent is setting things up so that we have time to site see too, but mostly its business.”

“Hopefully you’ll meet a cute London woman and ride off into the sunset together.” I teased with a smile, folding a pair of pants. Beth laughed for a second, then put a hand on my arm.

“You know that I will never cut you out of my life, right?” Beth said seriously. She made me look at her. I swallowed. I didn’t want to hope that it would stay true.

“I want you to be happy, Beth.” I told her honestly. “If I have to go away to do that, then that is what I will do.” Beth frowned at me. We’d been through a lot, I knew that. But Beth was over thirty now. She was looking for a romantic partner, and her last girlfriend had been almost a year before. Beth took my hand and made me look at her.

“Ama.” She said, using her old nickname for me. I smiled at the memories of childhood that it brought to mind. “You have been there for me every step of the way since my mother died. You were there at the hospital, and tucked me into sleep every night. I remember how you would fall asleep in the chair by my bed, just because I asked you to not leave me alone.” I licked my lips, eyes a little wet.

“You weren’t ready to be left alone.” I reminded her. She nodded, but looked piercingly into my eyes.

“Neither are you.” She informed me. “I am not going to leave you alone in the world.” I smiled with wet eyes until the tears overflowed. Beth pulled me into a warm hug, her eyes also wet. A romantic duet started on the screen and I pulled away, wiping my eyes.

“Look at us: Two old weepy ladies.” I joked. Beth laughed and wiped her own eyes.

We talked until 2 about old stories from Beth’s childhood, then the things that we had done together at university. I fell into bed fully clothed after a brief goodnight and goodbye to Beth as she left for her plane at 3. I reminded myself that it was only a few weeks as I looked at my new blackout curtains. I wouldn’t be alone for long.

*********

The next morning I parked in the school parking lot on time, despite the lack of sleep. I had gone longer without it. I locked the car as I got out and swung my bag around onto my back. I shut the door and slid my keys into my pocket with the other hand. Or I would have if I hadn’t completely missed my pocket and dropped them into a puddle instead. I sighed and bent to pick them up. Before I could, a white hand flashed in front of me and grabbed them out of the puddle. I straightened back up and peered up at Edward Cullen. He was leaning against my car, my keys dangling from his fingers.

“That’s some trick.” I said, holding my hand out for my keys, palm up. He dropped them into it softly, making sure we didn’t touch.

“What is?” He seemed confused. I smirked up at him.

“The way you cross a parking lot so fast.” I poked at him. On a different face, his response would have been an ugly scowl. I pondered briefly if there was an expression he could make that would make him ugly. It made me want to try. “Anyway, do you enjoy pissing me off?” He looked confused again. I decided it was my favorite expression of his.

“Pissing you off?” He echoed.

“Yep.” I told him. “Giving Tyler the chance to annoy me yesterday.” The confusion cleared and he looked amused.

“That was for Tyler’s sake.” Edward informed me. I huffed in amusement.

“Then, for Tyler’s sake, don’t let him do it again.” I told him. He seemed even more amused. My anger flared a little, but I calmed it.

“You are very good at irritating me.” I informed him. He nearly laughed. “Are you trying to irritate me to death?” I asked. “There are easier ways to kill.” His eyes went dark.

“Amara, don’t be absurd.” His voice was cold and chilling and, most of all, dismissive. I immediately got defensive.

“Rude.” I told him, pointing at him. I gave him a meaningful look, then started walking toward the school building.

“Wait!” He called. I paused and let him catch up before I started walking again. I glanced at him meaningfully. “I’m sorry, that was rude.” He apologized. I nodded in acknowledgement. “I’m not saying that it wasn’t true, but it was rude to say so.”

“What you said wasn’t the problem in this case.” I told him. “I joke, you dismiss. It was rude.” He was quiet as we walked on. “I thought you were ignoring me.”

“I wanted to ask you something.” He said, changing the subject. I stopped where I was and turned to him.

“If you ask me to the dance, I will set your car on fire.” I told him flatly. He chuckled. “Seriously, if I want to date someone, I will show up with flowers and ask them.” He looked entirely too amused. I huffed out an exasperated sigh. “You just did that to get a rise out of me.” He nodded and chuckled. I scowled, but couldn’t keep the scowl as I started to chuckle too.

“I just can’t understand you.” I said, shaking my head. “You say you don’t want to be my friend, yet here we are.” Edward lot his smile.

“I said that it would be better if we weren’t friends, not that I didn’t want to be.” Edward corrected.

“Wonderful. Pedantic.” I grumbled. He looked amused. “When you’ve made a decision, let me know.” I said, and walked off, leaving him to watch me leave.

**********

I was distracted all through the conversation with Mike and Eric about the beach trip. I kept thinking about how Edward really wasn’t making up his mind. If he didn’t like me, fine. My existence didn’t hinge on his approval, strange connection or not. It bothered me to no end that he stared at me and watched me, but wouldn’t speak to me. At least hopefully now that phase would end.

I walked with my new group of friends into the cafeteria for lunch. I automatically checked if Edward was watching me from his usual table with his family. He wasn’t. He wasn’t because he wasn’t there. It was slightly off-putting. They never missed school, unless it was as a group. It was disorienting. I guess I knew his decision. That was to avoid me whenever possible. I tried to swallow the confusing and unexplainable sadness at the thought.

I grabbed my milk and a cookie and joined my friends at the table. I wasn’t really hungry anymore, and the idea that he could affect me like that made me mad at myself. I tried to clear myself out of this funk. I didn’t understand why he was having such an impact on my moods. I had never met someone who did that without me actually knowing them. I’d had three conversations with him ever. It made no sense. Jessica startled me out of my revelry.

“Edward Cullen is staring at you again.” Jessica told me. My head jerked up and looked at her. He was here. And I wasn’t the only person to notice that he stared at me all the time. “I wonder why he’s sitting all by himself today?” I followed her gaze to find Edward sitting by himself at a different, and usually empty, table. He caught my eye with a slightly amused look on his face. Then he raised his hand in a come hither motion that nearly made me giggle. I furrowed my brow in disbelief. So he winked at me and did it again. I rolled my eyes.

“I guess his highness wants me to sit with him today.” I told Jessica, turning towards her. She looked at me in awe as I stood up and grabbed my things. I made my way over to Edward under her jealous gaze. When I reached the table, I stood on the opposite side from Edward and tilted my head at him.

“Why don’t you sit with me today?” He asked, a sure smile on his face. I considered smiling back and saying no. I wonder if anyone had ever told him no before. At least he phrased it as a question. I smiled back and sat down, setting my bag on one of the many empty seats. I put my cookie and milk in front of me. He watched me settle into my chair and open my milk. I took a drink, not breaking eye contact.

“This is new.” I commented lightly, when it became obvious that he wasn’t going to say anything.

“Well…” He began, only to pause in thought. He seemed to come to a decision and said the rest of the thought in a rush. “I decided that as I was going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly.”

“So, you’re my new friend.” I said, smiling. At least he finally made a decision.

“I…” He started, but paused again. “I got tired to trying to stay away from you. So I’m giving up.”

“Giving up, huh?” I repeated, giving him a slight smile.

“Yes. Giving up on trying to be good. I’m going to do what I want now, and let the chips fall where they may.” He explained as his smile faded. His face looked so sad, I wanted to comfort him, or distract him.

“Girls always do like the bad boy, or so I’ve heard.” I said lightly. “I think you’ll be good friend, though, if you want to be.”

“I’m not a good friend for you.”

“I get to decide that.”

“If you were smart, you’d avoid me.”

“Insulting my intelligence, that’s a good start.” I told him sarcastically. He smiled tightly and nodded in apology. I accepted, but my face became slightly guarded as I thought.

“What are you thinking about?” He asked. He sounded curious and frustrated. Good.

“Secrets.” I responded. He clenched his jaw, his whole body showing tension.

“What kind of secrets?” He asked. I smiled teasingly.

“Oh, you know.” I said lightly. “Secrets.” He furrowed his brow in frustration and confusion again. I decided I may have to change that expression to my favorite.

“That is really frustrating, you realize.” Edward told me, voice tense.

“Really?” I said lightly. I ate a bite of my cookie and had a drink of milk. “Is it hard to imagine why someone keeping a secret from you could be frustrating.” I said with a meaningful look. “It’s almost like how I can’t understand how it would be frustrating to ignore the presence of someone who you sit next to every day for weeks with no explanation. Especially when you stare at them when they aren’t looking.” Edward looked surprised. The table went quiet in the wake of my passive aggressive comment. Then he looked over my shoulder and snickered. Like actually snickered. It was kind of adorable.

“Your boyfriend seems to think I’m being unpleasant to you.” Edward informed me. “He is debating whether to come over here and break up our fight.” I laughed.

“Which one of my suitors is it?” I asked. Edward looked amused at my response.

“Mike.” He told me. I shook my head and chuckled.

“His wants to be a good guy so bad.” I said in explanation. “He is overly chivalrous sometimes. He forgets that a; I’m not his girlfriend, and b; I don’t need a knight in shining armor.” I had some more cookie and milk. “And I don’t need protection from you.” He seemed darkly amused by my statements, especially the last. I offered him the last bite of my cookie. “Hungry?” I asked. His expression stayed darkly humorous.

“No, I’m not hungry.” Edward told me, his voice tinted with amusement. I added it to my list of ways he wasn’t human. I finished the cookie and took a drink of my milk.

“I have a favor to ask.” I told him. He looked immediately suspicious.

“That depends on what you require.” He told me guardedly. I smiled.

“Stop denying my existence when we sit next to each other.” I asked him in a put upon tone. He gave a half smile. “It’s quite frustrating and annoying. Plus it’s rude.”

“I think I might be able to do that.” He told me. I smiled brightly at him.

“Fabulous.”

“Then can I get one answer in return.” His tone demanded my compliance.

“That depends on the question.” I said, just as guardedly as him, though my tone was a mocking imitation of his. He acknowledged it with strained tight lips

“Tell me one theory.” He demanded. Always demanding. “You must have them.”

“Either that or I’m a complete bubble head.” I mumbled. His smile was amused.

“Just one.” He prompted. I considered, biting my lip and appraising him. “Please.” His honey eyes were slightly mesmerizing. I put it on the list, along with their new shade.

“Please?” I repeated.

“Please tell me one little theory.” He begged, trying to sound like he wasn’t. It made me internally celebrate. He needed some humility.

“Dragonling, about 500 years old.” I said, slightly offhand. He looked amused and confused. There goes that theory. “Or a genetic mutation. You could be starting your own Mutant X branch.” He let out a huff of laughter. I frowned. “Rude.” He laughed.

“I will probably know eventually.” I warned him.

“I wish you wouldn’t try.” He told me seriously.

“Why?”

“What if I’m not the superhero? What if I’m the bad guy?” He warned with a playful smile that was obviously a mask. I smiled playfully back, calculating.

“So you’re the anti-hero.” I said with a shrug. “Dangerous doesn’t mean evil. Those who don’t want to be the bad guy, usually aren’t the bad guy.” He looked surprised, but still severe. “You are no more dangerous than I am.” He nearly scowled.

“You’re wrong.” His voice was almost a growl. I guess he didn’t like being called not dangerous. I should endeavor to do it again soon. The growl was… nice. In a way that I wasn’t expecting. I finished my milk and set it down on the table between us. It thudded in the silence. I looked around, still watching him, and noticed that the cafeteria was nearly vacant. I sighed.

“We’re going to be late.” I said, standing. I reached for my bag.

“I’m not going to class today.” He said, grabbing my bottle and looking it over. I slung my bag over my shoulder, wondering why.

“Why?” I asked. It was an innocent enough question.

“It’s healthy to ditch class now and then.” He told me, smiling up at me. I debated, but decided to go.

“Then I’ll see you after school.” I wished him goodbye and rushed to class with the other stragglers. He stayed seated at the table as I left, watching me go.

Mr. Banner wasn’t even in the room when I arrived, leaving me to sink into my seat gratefully. Mike and Angela looked at me with eyes full of questions. I knew that she would be calling me after school. Mike just looked jealous. Mr. Banner’s entrance stopped either of them from coming over to my desk to interrogate me. He set a bunch of cardboard boxes down on his desk and had mike start passing them around to the class.

“Okay guys!” He announced, getting the attention of the class. “I want all of you to take one piece from each box.” He pulled out a pair of latex gloves and put them on. The snap of the gloves reverberated around the room. I wondered why we would need gloves. “The first should be an indicator card.” He showed a white card with four squares to the class, holding it up for everyone to see. “The second is a four-pronged applicator and the third is a sterile micro-lancet.” He held up the two items he described one at a time. My brain started whirling, trying to connect the dots.

“I’ll be coming around with a dropper of water to prepare your cards, so please don’t start until I get to you.” He ordered, and began as Mike’s table, who had just returned to his seat, with the dropper as he continued to explain. “Then I want you to carefully prick your finger with the lancet.” He took Mike’s hand and very carefully pricked Mike’s middle finger. Blood rushed to the surface. My ears filled with static.

Mr. Banner continued to explain, but I put my head on the desk. The cool top pressed into my forehead. My breath was slightly jagged and I couldn’t calm it. Why would Edward not come to a class on blood typing? Why would Edward know before hand? Edward didn’t like blood. Edward didn’t breath. Edward was cold to the touch. Edward said he was dangerous. I was nearly hyperventilating now.

“Amaranth, are you alright?” Mr. Banner asked. He was right next to me, his voice inches from my ear.

“I don’t know.” I murmured. I felt dizzy. He couldn’t be. He just couldn’t be.

“Are you feeling faint?” He asked. I murmured a yes and put a hand to my head. “Can someone take Amaranth to the nurse please?” I heard Mike volunteer and I grabbed my bag. I nearly fell trying to get up, my brain still trying to process. Trying to connect Edward with what he was. It just didn’t make sense, but the evidence was all there.

“Can you walk?” Mr. Banner asked in concern. I stood straighter and Mike took my bag.

“Yeah.” I said. “I’ll make it.” My voice sounded weird, even to my own ears. Angela looked concerned, and Mike looked worried too. He put one hand around my waist and helped steer me out of the classroom. My head was pounding, trying to process. My heart beat in fear. Was it going to happen again? What was I going to do? Could I hurt him even though I felt this connection to him? Would he hurt me?

We made our way outside and slowly towards the nurse’s office. Eventually, I just couldn’t continue. I pulled out of Mike’s grasp and onto a bench. I sat on the seat and put my head in my hands, trying to block everything out. Trying to stop the fear and the memories from taking over.

“Wow, you’re pale.” Mike said, crouching down next to me. No shit. I just got a shock. He set my bag on the bench next to me.

“Amara?” I heard a different voice call. A very familiar voice, one that had no right to be so familiar. It sent shivers up my spine and my heart skipped a beat before returning to its, faster than normal, rhythm.

“What’s wrong? Is she hurt?” Edward asked. He sounded and looked so genuinely concerned. I tried to calm down and didn’t seem able to yet, at least not completely.

“I don’t know.” Mike said. He was also stressed and worried. “She didn’t even stick her finger.”

“Amara.” Edward said. He was crouched right in front of me, his face level with mine. I refused to open my eyes to meet his worried ones. I was worried it was all a farce. It all was a lie. He was going to be the same. “Can you hear me?” His voice was nearly begging, and so gentle. How could he really be… I couldn’t make sense of it.

“Yes.” I whispered. “I’ll be fine.” He chuckled, still tense. Mike relaxed a little.

“I’m taking her to the nurse.” Mike explained. “But she just stopped.”

“I’ll take her.” Edward told him. I could hear his pleasure at the idea. A chill went through me and my heart skipped in my chest. At least Mike would be safe. “You go back to class.”

“No.” Mike refused. “I’m supposed to do it.” No, Mike. Go. Edward grabbed my bag over Mike’s refusal. Then I felt myself be lifted up into the bridal carry. My eyes flew open in shock and met Edward’s twinkling amused ones. Worry crinkled the edges. My heart raced and I nearly hyperventilated. His fingers touched me where my top had ridden up and a wave of relief and concern swept through me. My eyes fluttered shut and my heart rate calmed. Another wave of genuine concern and affection rushed through him and I opened my eyes. I needed to reassure him. Our eyes met again and he searched mine.

“You look awful.” He informed me. I giggled breathlessly, still recovering. He grinned.

“I think I can walk.” I nearly whispered. Edward just kept walking.

“You can barely talk.” He reminded me. He held me away from his body now adjusting so that our skin no longer touched. But I remembered. His affection and concern were genuine. He didn’t want to hurt me.

“So you faint at the sight of blood.” Edward said, trying to make conversation. I was confused. “And not even your own blood.” I let my eyes fall shut, tired, and let him take care of me. He really cared.

“Oh my!” Someone gasped. I felt the rush of air from the open door and the warmth as we entered the nurse’s office.

“She fainted in Biology.” Edward explained. I opened my eyes. He could have brought me anywhere. I hadn’t struggled, but he brought me to the nurse. His concern was still real. The grandmotherly nurse held the front door open to the clinic and Edward carried me in. I watched his face, so serious and protective. He set me down on one of the clinic beds. The paper rattled under me as I settled on the cot. He pulled away as the concerned nurse took his place at my side.

“She’s a little faint.” He explained. “They’re blood typing in Biology.” The nurse nodded in understanding as she checked me over.

“There’s always one.” She said dryly. Edward muffled his laughter. I gave a weak smile as the nurse took my pulse. “Just lie down for a minute here honey, it will pass.”

“Ok.” I whispered. I closed my eyes and watched him watch me. He was taking care of me without knowing really anything about me. He protected me from the van, and he carried me to the nurse because he worried about me. Edward had convinced the nurse that he was supposed to stay with me, and the nurse left to get me some ice. I tried to relax some more and get my breathing back. My head wasn’t spinning so badly.

“You scared me for a minute there.” Edward admitted quietly, after a moment of quiet. “I thought Newton was dragging you off to the woods to bury.”

“Funny.” I whispered. He smiled.

“Honestly, I’ve seen corpses with better color.” He joked. I bet he had. “I was concerned I might have to avenge your murder.” His face was a little too serious for that to have been entirely a joke. He really did want to protect me.

“Poor Mike.” I murmured.

“He absolutely loathes me.” Edward gloated. I wondered again if he could read minds. Because he was sure of that as fact. I wouldn’t be too surprised. He obviously couldn’t read mine. He came running when I was in trouble. Maybe I could hope. I slowly pulled myself up into a seated position, still not opening my eyes. Edward moved closer and watched me warily. I rubbed my temples, feeling the dizziness dissipate. The door opened and the nurse came in. I opened my eyes and accepted the cold compress from her.

“Here you go dear.” She told me, helping me press it to me head. “You’re looking better.”

“I feel better.” I nearly told her softly. The room wasn’t spinning and my heart wasn’t pounding anymore. She frowned at me and looked at the cot, but as she opened her mouth the door opened again.

“We’ve got another one.” Ms. Cope, the receptionist, told the nurse. The nurse turned to look and I stood up.

“They can have the cot.” I said quietly, removing the cold compress. I was proud of the fact that I didn’t sway. Much. I handed the compress back to the nurse. “Really, it was mostly the shock.” I told her, my voice more normal. “I’ll be fine.”

Then the door opened and Mike pulled a pale looking boy through the door. I think it was Lee, but my eyes were on Edward as he murmured ‘oh no’. I went to him quickly nearly stumbling in my haste. Lee was bleeding.

“Go out of the office, Amara.” Edward ordered. There is a time to protest being ordered around. That was not it. I went, letting him usher me out into the reception area. The door to the clinic swung shut and Edward visibly relaxed. I sagged and went over to the bench. Edward shadowed me. I smiled up at his worried face.

“Still recovering a little, I think.” I confided in him. He nodded and looked me over quickly. Mike came out of the nurses’ office.

“How are you feeling?” He asked. “You look a lot better.” He reminded me, in that moment, of a puppy. I smiled weakly at him.

“Much.” I assured him. “I don’t think I’m up for class though.” Mike nodded, taking in the way I was propping myself up against the wall. “Let them know?”

“Of course.” Mike promised. He glared at Edward. I guess he really did loath him. He turned back to me. “Will you feel better for the beach this weekend?” I smiled and nodded. He smiled back.

“We’re meeting and my dad’s store at ten.” He told me, his eyes glaring daggers at Edward.

“I’ll be there.” I promised, still not 100%, but getting there. Mike smiled and I waved as he left. I sighed and relaxed back into the wall, closing my eyes. Edward looked me over and nodded slightly to himself.

“Stay here and look pale.” Edward ordered, then walked over to the counter to Ms. Cope.

“Not a problem.” I whispered. Edward chuckled lightly before talking to Ms. Cope softly at the counter. I didn’t bother following the conversation, although I did hear him saying he was going to take me home. Soon enough, Edward was back, crouching down to my level. I opened my eyes when I smelled his breath on my face. It was strangely sweet.

“Do you need me to carry you, or can you walk?” He asked, voice teasing. Despite that, I could see the genuine offer underneath. I shook my head and stood, more carefully than usual. More carefully than I needed to.

“I’ll walk.” I told him. I tried to ignore the part of me that wanted to be carried again. We walked out into the parking lot again, into the misting rain. It felt refreshing and clean.

“Thank you.” I told him softly as we walked. Thank you for not hurting me. Thank you for being genuine. He smiled as he walked next to me.

“You’re welcome.” He told me softly back. At the parking lot, I went towards my car. He grabbed my arm and stopped me. “Where do you think you’re going?” I looked at him curiously.

“My car?” I told him, voice questioning, but strong again. He sounded angry for some reason.

“Didn’t you hear me promise to take you safely home?” He asked indignantly. “Do you really think I am going to let you drive in your condition?”

“Then we take my car.” I insisted. “You can walk back to get yours like a proper knight in shining armor.” He looked slightly affronted. “Mine’s a classic, I can’t just leave it here.” He looked torn. “It’s only a 30 minute walk.” I added. Although for him, it wouldn’t take that long.

“Mine gets better gas mileage.” Edward argued. I rolled my eyes.

“A; it’s a 5 minute drive. B; that engine has been entirely rebuilt. C; Its worth three times yours.” I poked the hand still clutching my arm. “And D; It was a gift from my Grandfather, so I’m not leaving it behind.” He let go of my arm, eyes regretful.

“Give me your keys.” He demanded. I raised my eyebrows, putting my hand in my pocket.

“I think you’re missing a please in there, or am I your servant?” I retorted. He took a deep, if unnecessary breath, and held his hand out.

“Please give me your keys.” He asked. I smiled and placed them in his palm. He led me over to my own car, watching me the whole time. I wasn’t going to fall now. I was watching him. He opened my door for me, well the passenger door anyway. I got in and buckled up. Edward set my bag at my feet before crossing to the other side of the car and getting in the driver’s seat.

He started the car and the lovely tones of Bing Crosby came through my speakers singing Swinging on a Star. He looked over at me with a raised eyebrow.

“You listen to Bing Crosby?” He asked. I looked over at him like he was crazy.

“Of course I listen to Bing.” I told him. “And Sinatra, and the rest of the Rat Pack.” He smiled indulgently. “My grandfather’s favorite was Nat King Cole.” I went sad and quiet.

“What was your Grandfather like?” Edward asked. I smiled sadly for a moment.

“He’s still alive.” I said sadly. Edward looked confused.

“Then why are you adopted?” He asked, confused. I sighed.

“My grandfather can’t remember his name most of the time anymore.” I said quietly, nearly blending in with the music. I wasn’t afraid that he couldn’t hear me. His hearing would be good enough. His kind heard well like that. I held in the shiver at the thought of what else his kind could do. Edward was driving us to my house, despite the fact I hadn’t told him where I lived. Was he stalking me? Was he the reason I got blackout curtains and put up a camera? I hadn’t been visited since, but I wondered. I hoped it was curiosity.

“When I was little, he used to play me all kinds of music. He liked anything.” I remembered his smile as he would show me knew things. I smiled as the next song in the mix came on.

“Green Day?” Edward asked incredulously. I giggled. His expression was priceless.

“I told you: anything.” I reminded him. He smiled but shook his head at me. “Anyway, he’s being taken care of. I visit occasionally, but he barely recognizes me anymore.” Grandfather was lost in his head now. I smiled sadly as I thought about the last time I saw him.

“How old are you?” He asked, frustrated. I frowned, but gave the answer that I had given my friends at school.

“I’ll be having an 18th birthday party in June.” I told him. No need to mention that it wouldn’t be my first 18th birthday party. I was skilled at misleading truths. I had to be.

“You don’t seem 17.” He remarked. His tone bordered on angry. Why was he angry? It’s not like he knew I was misleading him. I supposed that whole jailbait thing wasn’t good.

“And you do?” I countered. He frowned. We were already on my street now, driving to the end of the road where my house was. The rain poured down in sheets, streaming down the windows and giving everything outside an otherworldly quality. I let up, not making him answer. “When you lose people, you grow up.” I said wistfully. I shook off the feeling. “But at least I have Beth.” Edward smiled.

“Beth?” He asked. I nodded.

“My adoptive family.” I said. He smiled at the happiness in my voice. “I would do anything for her. She is just… a wonderful person that means the world to me.” I smiled at our house as we pulled into the driveway. I reached over and pushed the garage button, surprising Edward and making him flinch back. He obeyed my unspoken wish and pulled into the garage. “She’s the practically the only family I can really talk to and have now, and my best friend.” Edward smiled and stopped the car. He pushed the button to close the garage before I could. I pulled myself out of the car and grabbed my bag.

“What about you?” I asked. He instantly stiffened as he got out of the car.

“What about me?” He asked cautiously. I nearly rolled my eyes at how obvious he was.

“Do you have any living family other than the Cullens?” I asked. He shook his head in denial.

“No.” He answered. “The Carlisle and Esme have been my parents for a long time now.” I nodded sagely and opened the door to the house. He followed, looked around avidly as we entered the kitchen.

“It must be nice to have siblings.” I pushed slightly. I made sure to try and keep the questions vague and in the present tense, the same way that I would have liked them. Less lying needed. I hoped he wouldn’t lie.

“Siblings who are going to be very unhappy if they have to walk because I’m not back.” He hinted. I laughed. He looked around again. “Although I don’t like leaving you here alone.” He really did sound worried.

“I’ll be fine.” I told him. No need to tell him that I would probably be more nervous with him here. He put my every nerve on edge, in both a good way and a bad way.

“Promise me you will call for help if you need it. And rest.” Edward demanded, looking into my eyes. His eyes were a swirling golden sparked void of darkness. My heart skipped a beat, and I wasn’t entirely sure of the cause. He backed toward to door.

“I will.” I promised. I quickly had a thought. “In fact, I think I’ll just take the day off tomorrow to recover.” Edward smiled at the suggestion as he opened the door to the onslaught of the rain.

“Be careful.” He ordered. I smiled at him and closed and locked the door as he left. I pressed my back against it and slid down slowly until I was sitting on the floor.

“Hell.” I cursed, staring straight ahead of me, my eyes wide and unseeing.

Chapter Text

Vampire.

Edward was a vampire.

The boy, man, whatever he was, that I had been crushing on for over a month was the creature I most feared in all the world.

I sat alone in my darkened room on my spacious bed and wished that I could go back to yesterday, when things had been simpler. I had wanted to know, but I hadn’t wanted it to be this. Now I had been obsessing over this for hours, and the day would dawning soon.

“Wherefore art thou?” I whispered, reminiscing on Shakespeare. Why did he have to be a Vampire? Anything else I could have dealt with easily, I could have handled it and there would have been no major problems. But a vampire? I put a hand on my neck, remembering the way that they had torn into me. Weeks that I…

I was shaking by the end of that thought. It had been years, decades even. Yet every time I thought of that room and that time I was back to the scared and hurt little girl I had been. I tried to calm myself by reminding myself that I had my full powers now. Unlike before, I could now remove the chains. I could light the vampire on fire myself, without waiting and hoping a fire would get close enough to direct. I was strong. I looked over at my desk and the scissors sitting on the top. But even there was a threat. A lethal weapon.

What if Edward found out? I was so careful at school. Don’t touch the railings. Don’t touch the legs of the desk. Don’t take anything without looking at it first. Edward was hyper observant and maybe a little obsessed with me. Could I hide it from him? Could I pretend that I wasn’t his favorite prey and be his friend? Could I be his friend? Did I want to be more than his friend? I thought I did, but I had never wanted such a thing before.

“Arg!” I growled. I flung myself off my bed and paced the dark room in front of my full length mirror. Could I trust him? That’s what it all came down to. I needed to know if I could trust him and if I thought he was worth the risk. I pictured him in my mind again and thought about the connection that we had had since first sight. The way it felt like I was touching pure energy and desire whenever out hands brushed. What was this?

“Grandfather.” I whispered. “Help me.” I faced the mirror and touched my hand to it, whispering in an old nearly forgotten tongue. The mirror shimmered and the view in it changed. The inside of a cave appeared, lit by torches lit with strange blue fire. I looked over next to my desk and grabbed a small box and pulled it to my hand by force of will, catching it in my outstretched hand. Box in hand, I took a deep breath and stepped through the portal.

********

“G’day to ye Mistress.” Wren greeted as I entered the main chamber. Her voice was the familiar Irish lilt, with its trace of something else. Her voice was pleasant, like that of a maidenly aunt, wise with age and soft with home and hearth.

“Good day and good morrow.” I returned stepping past the small wooden table and its three chairs. Wren came into view in the torchlight. She was a slight creature, like a small child. Her clothes were the same homespun they always were. Her green patterned dress was covered by an apron and a matching cap. Both were decorated in pockets and buttons of various colors and sizes. Her pointed ears stuck up on each side of the cap, peeking out through her course nut brown hair. As I walked forward, I knelt and presented the box. I still had to look down 6 inches to look her in the eyes.

“A gift for the keeper of the house.” I said formally. Wren smiled and accepted it formally, bowing over it.

“May blessin’s pour over ye like sweet honey.” She wished. Her voice always reminded me of honey personified. She was one of the few House Brownies that I had met, and she was the kindest. But the all were sweet, provided you obeyed the rules. Rule number 1: Brownies got honey and grain. Wren put her box in her pocket, knowing the contents. It shrunk down to fit inside.

“What brings ye here?” Wren asked, losing the formality and looking interested, and concerned at my expression.

“I met a vampire.” I told her. She looked immediately concerned.

“Horrid creatures.” She bit out angrily. I nodded.

“You know my past, Wren.” I reminded her. She nodded and sympathetically put a hand on my arm. I settled back on my legs, sitting on the floor. I looked past her toward the bedroom where my grandfather was. “How is he?” I asked.

“Lost in the future.” She told me sadly. “Such a sad tale.” I nodded. She looked back at me sharply. “But the vampire?” I nodded.
“He doesn’t feed on humans, none of his coven do.” I explained. She looked skeptical. I nodded in confirmation. “I checked.” I sighed. “He doesn’t know what I am, but he saved me from being crushed by an iron car.” Wren looked mildly horrified.

“Crushed?” She asked. I nodded.

“And he has repeatedly tried to protect me and warn me that he is dangerous.” I admitted. Wren looked confused. “Then there’s the fact that from the first time I met him, I’ve felt a… connection. Touching him is like touching liquid fire. I can’t seem to stop looking at him, even before I knew what he was. I can stop thinking about him. And I want to kiss him.” I confessed. Wren’s face went from surprised, to suspicious, to resigned and accepting as I spoke.

“Oh ya poor thing.” She said, coming closer and putting a hand on my shoulder.

“What is it?” I asked. She hesitated. “Please, I have to know.” I begged. She sighed.

“Madness of the heart.” Wren said, in a voice that conveyed both joy and sadness. I was still confused. “Love at first sight, poor lass.” I was dumbstruck for a moment. I let it sink in. Then I looked up at the ceiling.

"Whoever loved that loved not at first sight?" I quoted at a whisper. I let a tear fall from my eye. She let me have my moment. I wiped the tear away, and looked at her seriously. “Does he feel the same?” I asked. She nodded.

“He must, and his actions speak.” Wren reminded me. I nodded, and let out a long lo breath.

“What am I to do?” I asked myself. She sighed and tutted.

“Do what all in love do: Fall.” Wren said gently. I ran a hand over my mouth, trying to compose myself. “Pray that he will catch you.”

“And if he doesn’t?” I asked, afraid. Wren gripped my shoulder.

“Run.” She said seriously. She comforted me as I buried my face in my hands and cried.

********

I backed out of the beach trip on Saturday, pleading that I wasn’t feeling well. I must have sounded convincing over the phone, because Mike, Angela, and Jessica all agreed that I sounded like I needed the rest. Angela volunteered to come over, and I let her do so on Sunday. We watched old Bond films and ate popcorn. Angela looked concerned, but said I looked miles better than I had on Thursday at school. When she was sure I wasn’t going to faint she began the interrogation.

“So… you and Edward looked friendly.” Angela hinted. I groaned and hid my face. “Come on, dish.” She ordered playfully. “I understand if you really don’t want to talk, but better me than Jessica.” I laughed ruefully. She laughed with me.

“She means well.” I defended. Angela nodded.

“I know.” She agreed. She leaned forward again on the couch facing me. “Spill.” I took a deep breath.

“I like him.” I admitted. She made a victorious sound, then quickly shut her mouth and indicated that I continue. “He invited me over because he wants to be my friend.”

“Edward Cullen wants to be your friend.” She repeated. I nodded. “This is huge.” I agreed.

“I’ve never liked someone before.” I added. Angela looked so sympathetic. “I’m okay with it if all he wants is friendship, but he literally carried me into the nurses’ office on Thursday when I was too dizzy to walk.” Angela gasped.

“Really?” She asked. I confirmed. “That is so romantic.” I tried to hide my smile.

“It was, kinda.” I admitted, giving a shy smile. “He was really worried about me.” Angela nodded.

“We all were.” She told me. “You looked like death warmed over.” I nodded.

“I’ve being doing some major resting these past couple of days.” I informed her. “I barely got out of bed.” Angela rested a hand on my leg and patted it gently. I took comfort in it.

“So are you going to sit with Edward now?” She asked. She sounded a little worried. I furrowed my brow in confusion.

“Maybe Monday.” I started. She looked resigned. “But I think I’ll see about switching. Give you both joint custody.” I joked. She smiled and laughed.

“Really?” She double checked. I nodded.

“I don’t want to lose the friends I have, just because I’ve made another.” I admitted. She smiled hugely and leaned into give me a hug. I accepted it gladly with a smile of my own. A text alert went off on her phone and she pulled back to take a look.

“That’s my mom.” She said regretfully. “She’s outside.” I sighed dramatically, making the both of us giggle. I helped her gather her stuff and walked her out to her mom’s car, waving to them both as them left.

********

Monday was bright and sunny. I wasn’t sure if I was happy or sad that I wouldn’t be seeing Edward today. I took the opportunity of throw on a tee shirt and go for a super light jacket.

Mike found me almost as soon as I parked and started asking how I was feeling. He was relieved that I was better and seemed genuinely happy to see me.

“Great day, isn’t it?” He commented. I smiled.

“Definitely.” I agreed. “It’s beautiful.”

“Jessica told me that you and Angela watched movies yesterday.” Mike said. His tone was a little more guarded now, and he looked uncertain.

“Yeah.” I confirmed. “We watched some Bond films and made cookies.” I wondered where he was going with this. “It was about all I was up for.” I was playing up my ‘illness’ a little, but sue me. He smiled and nodded understandingly. He licked his lips nervously and swallowed.

“She also said you like Cullen.” Mike nearly bit out. He made Cullen sound like a curse word. I sighed, and cursed myself for not anticipating this.

“Yeah.” I admitted. He looked upset. “I don’t know if I will ever do anything about it, but yeah. I like him.” I told a slightly angry Mike. Poor guy. But he need to understand it was not going to happen. “I’ve never liked someone before.” He looked upset.

“Not me.” He said softly. I felt so bad for the guy, but I couldn’t give him false hope.

“No, Mike.” I said gently. “And even if I did, I wouldn’t have done that to Jessica.” Now he looked confused. Much better than hurt.

“Jessica?” He repeated. “What does she have to do with anything?” I rolled my eyes at the strangeness of teenage boys.

“Jessica likes you.” I spelled out for him. “She wants to date you.” He looked like this was a revelation. “And I think you guys would be great for each other.” He looked at me with a slightly dazed expression. “Go ask her out.” I instructed. I left him behind in the parking lot, deep in thought, and made my way to my first class.

In Trig, Jessica wanted to dissect my conversation with Edward. I gave her an edited version and the girls all gushed. I admitted to the girls that I liked him, and only him, and they thought it was romantic. Jessica invited me to come with them dress shopping with them in Port Angeles. I agreed readily, claiming that I would be their fashion advisor. They laughed at my impression of a designer.

Monday secretly dragged. It felt like part of me was missing all the time. Edward’s face filled my mind and my heart begged me to go find him. It was a palpable pain to be separated for so long. This, of nothing else, would have convinced me of my madness of the heart.

I despaired when I woke up to a bright shining sun on Tuesday. I knew that I would not see him and the very thought sent a bolt of pain through me. I forced myself to get up and ready for school, though I couldn’t bear the thought of eating anything. His absence was an ache that would not go away. I dreamt of just… holding his hand… touching him at all. I needed him close like oxygen. Was this love, or just obsession? I didn’t know, but I didn’t think I had a choice. My fate was sealed the day I met him. I could only hope he wouldn’t kill me. Or worse.

School never ended, of so it seemed. I spent all my energy trying to appear normal. It worked ok. Jessica, Angela, and I all headed out after school to Port Angeles for our shopping trip after dropping my car off in my garage. Jessica drove us all out of the city limits. I stared out the window, thinking about Edward and wondering where he was now. I knew that this trip was putting off the inevitable. If I didn’t see him by tomorrow, I would have to go looking for him. The emptiness was becoming unbearable. I just needed to see him. My Edward.

********

I was embracing the girl’s night out with as much gusto as I could manage. It was nowhere near my first shopping trip. I had done my time. I thought back fondly of the many times I had gone shopping with Beth as she was growing up. I remembered her pink phase that lasted from the age of four until eight, at which point she decided it was a horrible color and took scissors to everything pink in her room, which happened to be almost everything. I smiled, and joined back in the conversation about boy bands that Jessica had started.

Port Angeles had decided to pass of old, and go for vintage. The atmosphere was polished and family friendly, while still catering to the retired crowd. The whole effect was picturesque, and nice, actually. Jessica and Angela had obviously been here before, and took us directly to the more business area with dress shop.

We bemoaned Tyler’s latest fiasco. He had assumed we were going to Prom together. When I mentioned to Lauren yesterday that I didn’t know if I ever wanted to go to any dance, she had asked why I was going to Prom with Tyler then. Her tone was near furious, but the shock and pure incomprehension must have showed. Apparently, Tyler had been spreading that I had agreed to go to Prom with him. Angela said she hadn’t believed him at all, as did Jessica, so now the three of us were planning out how to embarrass Tyler for being a presumptuous ass.

The dress shop was smaller than others I had been to, but it did the job. Jessica and Angela tried on various dresses while I made them do model walks and gave them complements, and raised eyebrows as appropriate. The girls decided on dresses, then the three of us picked over the shoes and accessories, picking the perfect outfits for the dance.

My ability to maintain a conversation was waning. I needed a break to rally again, so when the girls suggested that they drop their purchases off at the car before going for a walk by the water, I decided to bow out. I told them I was interested in visiting the little bookstore down the way and that I would meet them at the Italian restaurant for dinner. They agreed, thought Angela looked slightly worried. I smiled and waved them off as I went in the direction of the bookstore.

It felt horrible. Like my skin was tight and dry. I found myself straining to see in all directions with and eyes and with my second sight. I needed to see him. I just needed him. The bookstore didn’t hold my attention, but I wasn’t ready to face the girls again. I just walked and shut everything out.

Edward’s face filled my eyes. Edward’s voice filled my ears. I could almost imagine that I was really walking towards him. This felt so deranged. I had never felt so captive by another person before. The only thing I could hope for at this point, was that he was as much my captive, as I was his.

The beep of my phone startled me out of my contemplation. Checking it, I realized that it had just died, leaving me with a fancy paper weight. I looked around, my eyes still trained on the phone. Around me were warehouses, and very few people. I supposed that was what I got for wandering in a town I didn’t know. I had just turned at a corner and I walked down the block with more purpose. At the end of the block, turning another corner, four rough-looking men appeared. They were all in their late twenties and thirties, and appeared to be coming from a bar. I gave them room, not looking at them.

“Hey there!” One of them greeted, voice slightly slurred with drink. I didn’t look up, but kept on walking at they passed. The other’s laughed at the one who had spoken. He was a sturdily build twenty-something in flannel and jeans.

“Hey, wait!” Another one of them called after me. That one was slightly less drunk, but I didn’t turn. This was not my first encounter with drunk men. I was not going to give them any reason to think I was interested. Usually, that was all it took. If that didn’t work… That was why I knew how to fight and use my powers. I took a moment to adjust my skin to impenetrable. By anything but iron at least. As I rounded the corner, I found myself on a deserted street that faced nothing but the silent backs of warehouses. An ominous setting for sure.

A car passed by, the only one that I could see. Then it turned out of sight. It left me on the block alone with the two men following me. The two men were, unsurprisingly, two of the men from before. They shadowed my pace, slightly herding me. I quickly took inventory mentally as I kept my steady pace to the end of the silent block. My wallet, cell phone, and keys were all safely tucked into pockets. My hands were free. I had enough strength now to break their arms. Knives were the problem. I need to avoid them. Their composition was almost entirely iron, and they could harm me. Not that they would kill me, but being stabbed hurt. I remembered.

I reached a blind alley, passing it without turning my head, acting as if I knew exactly where I was going. A blue car passed and disappeared down the road. The men fell back, giving me more space. I knew better than to think that meant they had given up. They were too quiet for that. Ahead of me, I saw a stop sign, indicating an intersection and more traffic. I knew that more traffic was what I needed, but I kept walking at me steady pace. Running would mean they would chase me. I needed to be boring. I didn’t think it was working. Both men were staring and me and one licked his lips. I held in the shudder.

I let out a relieved breath as I reached the next intersection, only to have my blood freeze. The street was lined with walls. No doors. No windows. No cars. No people. No safety. This was reinforced by the sight of the remaining two of the four men, who were leaning against a building halfway down the street, waiting. Waiting for me to be herded right to them.

I didn’t pause. I turned toward them, and looked past them, where I could see the cars pass and lights and people. My eyes didn’t waver and my expression stayed serious, but my hands clenched and my heart sped like I was sprinting.

“There you are!” Boomed an overly loud, slightly drunk voice. The first man from before, clad in blue flannel, shouted back at the others behind me.

“Yeah.” Called a response from behind. They were closer now. “We took a little detour.” They thought they were playing a game. I need to play a game of break their faces. I refused to slow. I approached the pair of men and they stepped away from the wall, blocking my path.
“Excuse me.” I said with a polite calmness I didn’t feel.

“Hey there sugar.” He said, stepping closer. “It’s awfully rude to ignore somebody who’s talking to you.” I frowned and saw the two other’s approach behind me to pen me in. I moved my feet into a fighting stance and brought my fists up into a guard position.

“You should learn some manners.” One of the other men said, his voice suggestive. I prepared for the attack.

Headlights came streaming around the corner, throwing the darkened street into relief. The car nearly hit the first man in flannel, the one obviously in charge and forced him to jump back. I stayed still as the car maneuvered around, spinning so that the passenger side faced me. The door flew open.

“Get in.” The voice commanded. I would know that voice anywhere. Edward. I would have gotten in no matter what. I rushed to get into the car and slammed the door shut. The car started moving again, but all I could do was take in Edward’s face. He was here. He had protected me again. He was my knight in shining crappy car.

“Put on your seat belt.” He ordered. I did so in a daze, clutching at it to stop myself from reaching out to grab him. I took a deep breath of the Edward scented air and for the first time since Edward had left my house on Thursday, I felt whole. I relaxed and looked him over to see how he was doing. He was tense. I supposed that me nearly being attacked did that to him. The car came to a stop, somewhere out of town. It was quiet.

“Amara?” He asked. He voice showed his obvious tension.

“Yes.” I answered. And god did I sound like an awestruck teen. I swallowed.

“Are you alright?” He asked. He was looking straight ahead into the darkness. I smiled at the thought. He really did worry about me.

“I’m fine.” I assured him. He nodded tersely in recognition.

“Distract me.” He demanded. I was confused.

“What?” I said. He let out an angry huff.

“Just prattle on about something unimportant until I calm down.” He demanded. I was going to have to cure him of his habit of demanding things, but after he wasn’t feeling homicidal.

“I’m planning on embarrassing Tyler in front of his friends tomorrow.” I told him cheerfully.

“Why?” Edward asked, his mouth twitching in an almost smile, but his eyes closed.

“Because he seems to think that he is entitled to take me to Prom, whether or not he asks me.” I told him. Edward found my indignation funny. “I am going to remind him that I have told him no now three times. And I want to make it publicly know that I will not ever be dating him, no matter what he says to the contrary.”

“I heard about that.” Edward admitted.

“Some friend you are.” I grumbled. “You’re supposed to tell me these things.” I huffed in indignation again. “Maybe I’ll, I don’t know, break his arm or something.” Edward chuckled, then sighed.

“Better?” I asked.

“Not really.” He admitted. I guessed what was happening here.

“As the offended party in that incident, I can say that if anyone gets to break something important on them, it should be me.” I reminded him. Edward looked over at me with a little surprise. “So, I don’t want them mangled or assaulted.”

“They should be…” Edward began, but cut himself off.

“They are humans who make mistakes.” I admitted. “Maybe some good Samaritan will drop them off for the police to pick up.” I offered. It went silent as Edward thought about this. I looked at the clock.

“Jessica and Angela will be worried.” I murmured. “I was supposed to meet them.” He turned the engine back on wordlessly and smoothly turned us back into the town. Before I knew it we were parking outside the restaurant where I had agreed the meet the girls. We caught them as they walked about of La Bella Italia.

“Jess!” I called, getting their attention. “Angela!” The turned, finding me waving at them. They were both relieved to see me, but that relief turned to suspicion when they was that Edward was behind me. The girls came over to join us.

“Where have you been?” Jessica asked, suspicion lacing her tone.

“I got lost.” I admitted, looking ashamed. “I would still be wandering if Edward hadn’t found me.” Jessica still looked a little suspicious, but Angela believed me. She was a sweetheart.

“Would it be alright if I joined you?” Edward asked. Jessica was flustered by his charm and murmured an affirmative.

“Um, actually, we already ate while we were waiting for you.” Angela admitted. “Sorry.” I shrugged.

“It’s fine.” I told her.

“I think you need to eat something.” Edward recommended, but with the air of someone who expected that all of their recommendations were as good as law. And then I was annoyed. “Do you mind if I drive Amara home? That way you won’t have to wait while she eats.” Angela was the one who agreed, after a subtle nod from me, and dragged Jessica away. I turned to Edward.

“Shall we?” I asked, indicating the restaurant. He smiled and walked me to the door, opening it for me. I walked past him into the restaurant.

The place wasn’t too crowded. The host was a young woman in her early twenties whose eyes lit up when she saw Edward. I considered for a moment, then decided to turn on that old Seelie charm. After she welcomed him warmly, and overly so, then turned to me. Her mouth opened in an Oh and her face was a little awed. Maybe I over did it. I toned it down.

“A table for two?” Edward requested. His voice was molten gold; beautiful, rich, and fluid. She was mesmerized again, but kept her distance, an eye on me. I gave her a gentle smile. Not her fault he was so damn attractive. But damn if I was going to put up with someone trying to take what was mine. She led us to a table, only to have Edward smoothly tip her and asked for something more private.

“Sure.” She said, surprised. She led us around a partition to an empty section, showing us a booth. Edward dazzled the poor girl with a smile that had her unsteady on her feet. After she left I turned to him.

“Turn down the charm.” I recommended. “Less people to turn down that way.” He looked confused. I rolled my eyes. “You have a charm that captivates people. Your eyes, your looks. You draw them in without trying. So you have to try to not.” Edward looked at me pointedly.

“Do I charm you?” He asked pointedly. I smiled.

“Occasionally.” I admitted. “When you aren’t ordering me around.” He looked amused.

Our server arrived with an eager and nervous expression. I held in the eye roll. She looked Edward over and wasn’t disappointed. Then she glanced at me. She did a double take and stopped looking quite as eager. Good old Seelie charm.

“Hello.” She greeted. “My name is Amber, and I’ll be you server tonight. What can I get you to drink?” She looked to Edward, who looked to me. I considered it for a moment.

“Coke.” I ordered.

“Two Cokes.” Edward added.

“I’ll be right back with that.” She told us, giving us both a smile, which I returned. Edward wasn’t watching. He was watching me closely. She left to get us our drinks.

“How are you feeling?” He asked carefully, watching me just as carefully. I was confused.

“I’m fine.” I told him.

“You don’t feel dizzy, sick, cold…?” He asked.

“Should I?” I asked, surprised at this line of questioning. He chuckled.

“Well, I’m actually waiting for you to go into shock.” He admitted, giving me a breathtaking lopsided smile. I took a deep breath.

“That’s not going to happen.” I assured him. “I promise.”

“Just the same, I’ll feel better when you have some sugar and food in you.” Edward informed me. So would I. I hadn’t eaten all day. I missed him too badly. And now he was here, so I could eat. As if she had heard me, the waitress appeared with our drinks and breadsticks.

“Are you ready to order?” She asked, turning to me first. I smiled at her gratefully and she smiled back.

“I’ll have the eggplant parmigiana.” I told her. She looked to Edward.

“Nothing for me.” Edward told her. Because he didn’t eat. She left with our orders, leaving us alone again.

“Drink.” He ordered as soon as she left. I frowned at him. He pushed the drink closer.

“You will learn to ask instead of demand.” I informed him, putting my hand around my glass and raising an eyebrow expectantly. He huffed.

“Please drink.” He asked impatiently. I smiled at him and took a long drink of the coke. The sugar was a great relief to my system. I let out a satisfied ‘ah’ after I finished drinking. The cup was mostly empty. I grabbed a bread stick and took a bite. Edward looked like he was going to laugh.

“You must have been hungry.” He said in an amused tone. I smiled with chagrin and swallowed.

“I might have not eaten today.” I admitted. He looked supremely unamused now.

“Are you feeling ok?” He asked in concern.

“I am now.” I told him. I finished off my drink and reached for his as I took the last swallow. He looked at me in amusement again.

“Thirsty?” He teased. I laughed.

“I need the sugar.” I teased back. He chuckled. I finished my breadstick and took another swallow. He watched me cautiously. I chuckled at him.

“I’m not going to go into shock.” I promised him.

“You should be.” He countered. “A normal person would be. You don’t look shaken.” I smiled at him.

“There’s reasons.” I said vaguely. His eyes narrowed.

“What reasons?” He demanded. I smiled at him and raised an eyebrow. “Please tell me the reasons.” His tone was measured and slightly forced.

“Sure, there’s three.” I told him with a smile. “First, not the first time I’ve been in that situation.” I could hear fabric rip. “I’m tougher than I look and no one laid a hand on me. Although, that was two on one, not four on one.” He looked like he wanted to kill someone. I smiled at him, relaxed. “Second, I’m safe with you.” This upset him even more. He frowned at me.

“This is getting more complicated.” He murmured. His eyes snapped up to mine. “What was the third reason?” He asked, careful to keep his tone on the side of a request. I let out a long breath.

“You’ve seen me go into shock.” I admitted. He looked confused. I sighed. “Thursday.” He looked to be evaluating his memories of Thursday and his eyebrows went up. I finished the second soda while he did so. The server came back with my food before he could say anything. She asked if there was anything else she could do, and Edward got enough control over himself to order more Coke before she walked away.

“You were in shock.” He said, deadpan. I nodded seriously. “Why?” I swallowed.

“Why did you not show up the one day that we were going to bleed in class?” I countered lightly. His face looked dark. I smiled. “You would have known already if you could read my mind.” I teased. He tensed further. “Relax Edward, I have my own secrets to share.” He looked caught between facing the gallows, and the greatest adventure. I bit my lip and looked around quickly. I held my hand over the lit candle at the table and pulled the flamer up. I shaped it into a dancing woman before his surprised eyes, then let it fall back to burn the wick.

“I told you I could surprise you.” The server took that moment to come and go with the Coke. I smiled and thanked her, taking a bite of my dinner.

“You…” Edward began, but didn’t start. I swallowed.

“I’m trusting you with my life.” I told him seriously. He looked at me like I was a revelation. “I think I can. We can talk more in the car.” I ate some more of my meal quickly shoveling in as any calories as I could. The meal ended quickly, Edward letting me eat. He paid the bill in cash, not even looking at the total.

We walked out of the restaurant under the observing eyes of a few of the wait staff. Edward kept careful space between us. I loathed every inch. I wanted to reach and hold his hand. He opened the car door for me and closed it before walking around to his side of the car. He moved into traffic fluidly before he gripped the steering wheel tightly.

“Explain.” He ordered. I waited. “Please.” He added. I smiled.

“I’m a witch.” I told him. He twisted his hands on the steering wheel. I swallowed. “And I’m… I’m fey.” His head whipped to look at me in shock. I stared resolutely forward.

“Fey.” He repeated. “A fey purposely revealing herself to a vampire.” He sounded disbelieving, and I didn’t blame him.

“I trust you.” I reminded him. “You don’t want to hurt me.” Edward turned back to the road and shook his head in denial. “You would protect me.”

“Of course.” He said immediately. I smiled and relaxed a tick.

“That’s why I’m telling you.” I said. It was quiet for a long moment. The forest and highway whizzed by, much faster than it should.

“That’s how you know…” He trailed off.

“You are not the first vampires that I've met.” I said hesitantly. I swallowed and tremored a little. He looked alarmed. “I was seven when two vampires found out I was fey. They had me for weeks.” I was whispering, barely getting it out. He looked horrified. I swallowed.

“How did you get free?” He asked lowly. “Are they still looking for you?” I shook my head.

“I ripped my hands free of the cuffs and when a bomb fell nearby, I channeled the fire and destroyed them.” I whispered. “They were nothing but ash.”

“You killed them.” He said, sounding relieved. I nodded.

“So I know about vampires.” I said, saying the word out loud. “I was a little surprised, to say the least, when I met you. I didn’t even see you as vampires. Eye color was wrong. No deaths in the area. I had to do research to find out to it was possible to feed off of animals.”

“It’s not easy.” Edward commented.

“Nothing worth doing ever is.” I remarked. Edward gave a wane smile.

“Why didn’t you run?” He asked. I swallowed.

“I’ll tell you later.” I promised. He looked irritated. “Saturday.” I suggested. “We can spend the day together.” He seemed ok with that. I swallowed again. “And… If you… If you trust your family, then… then I will too.” Edward looked surprised again. I liked the looked of surprise on his face.

We pulled up to my house and stopped. I turned to him and reached out. I touched his hand for a moment before he pulled it away. But I felt the fierce protectiveness that was still there. And the love. I smiled at him. He loved me.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” I told him. I wanted to kiss him goodbye. Parting is such sweet sorrow. What was I, a teenager again?

Chapter Text

The morning was better than the last. I would see him today. I pulled back the curtains to see the beautifully overcast sky with a grin. He would be there. I frowned. Or I would hunt him down and find out why.

The house was empty and quiet without Beth. She was usually bustling about in the mornings and making breakfast for us both. I sadly popped a pop tart into the toaster and thought longingly of home cooked food. Not that I didn’t know how, I just lacked the will and talent. Everything came out edible-ish, usually, but hers was always better. Being able to follow directions doesn't make it taste good. I slipped on my jacket and backpack while eating my breakfast, before heading out the door.

The blast of cold air hit me as I left the house. Edward’s shitty silver Volvo was in the driveway next to my Baby. He was leaning against the door looking at me, regardless of the cold mist the sprayed over us. My heart gave a little stutter at the sight of him. He was mine. Probably. I wondered if he was as possessive as I was.

“Do you want to ride with me today?” He asked. He was learning. Good. I grinned.

“You can ride with me in Baby.” I said, gesturing to my car. He frowned but walked over to the passenger’s side. I smiled at him widely and got in my side and unlocked the doors. He slid in the car and closed the door.

“Be careful with her.” I told him. He chuckled.

“Her?” He asked with a chuckle. I smiled as I started the engine.

“Of course.” I admonished. “She’s a lady. A tough lady, but a lady.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” He said, amused. I huffed.

“Come on.” I whined. “She’s a 1970 Buick GSX with a Stage 1 engine.” I informed him proudly. “She a classic muscle car.” Edward looked a little more impressed. “I wasn’t kidding when I told you my car was worth more. My grandfather bought it new in January of 1970.” My smile was fond.

“He did?” Edward asked curiously. I nodded as I pulled onto the road.

“He said it was about time I got my own car.” I admitted. “I was starting college, and needed to get around.” I drove to the school at a sedate pace, following the traffic. The car was silent.

“No questions?” He asked, still curious. I shrugged.

“We have time for questions.” I reminded him. “Nobody's getting any older. We have time.”

“You always stay so calm.” Edward commented. “It makes me wonder what you’re really thinking.” I grimace.

“I’m freaking out a bit.” I admitting. “The only other vampires I’ve met were pretty horrific.” He cringed. “The only vampires I had ever heard of before your family were enough to make me want to run.” He looked downcast but excepting. “You are different. I trust you. I’m not going to leave you. I want to hold your hand.” Edward looked confused and amazed. “How’s that for what I’m really thinking.” He didn’t respond as I pulled into a parking space at the school. We got out. I saw a shiny bright red convertible in the parking lot.

“Let me, guess, the convertible is your family’s other car?” I guessed. Edward laughed at my amused tone.

“An indulgence.” He dismissed. “Besides, I’m breaking all the rules.” He reminded me with a forced grin.

“You’re not the only one.” I reminded him back. He sobered slightly. “Did you tell your family?” I asked.

“No.” He said tightly. “Alice knows, but I didn’t tell anyone.” I nodded.

“Is Alice a telepath too?” I asked quietly. We still hadn’t gotten out of the car. I turned off the engine.

“No.” He said curtly. “She’s a seer.” I raised my eyebrows, impressed.

“Rare.” I said. “Not the Telepath isn’t.” I whistled. “That makes you quite a powerful coven.” He nodded.

“But we just want to blend in.” Edward added. I nodded.

“I’ll see if I can help.” I told him. He nodded. I got out of the car, with him following. He came around the car and escorted me to class. I could feel him almost touching me. It was like almost tasting the sweetest honey: Tantalizing.

We had eyes on us as we walked to the school building side by side. Jessica and Lauren were watching us and no doubt gossiping. Edward followed my gaze.

“What are you going to tell them?” He asked me. I shrugged.

“I have no idea.” I told him. “What does she want to know?” Edward chuckled.

“That wouldn’t be very fair.” He admonished.

“Life isn’t fair.” I countered. “Spill.” He smiled.

“She wants to know if we’re dating.” He informed me.

“Unsurprising.” I told him. “It did look like we were sneaking off together. What do you think I should tell her?” I asked, licking my lips nervously.

“I suppose you could say that we are, if you don’t mind. It’s easier.” Edward said. He opened the door for me to let me inside the building. He glanced at me. “According to her, you already like me.” I winced.

“Mind reader.” I accused under my breath. He laughed. “Fine.” I turned to him. “Wanna go on a date?” I asked. His eyes went wide. I smiled. “I forgot the flowers, but I figured I'd ask.” A couple of girls near us gasped. Edward chuckled again and nodded.

“As you wish.” He told me. I smiled at him widely.

**********

Jessica should go for a career in the FBI, CIA, or some other part of that alphabet soup they have going on. Her interrogation was thorough, manipulative, and still somehow made me want to be her friend. I'd hire her.

I was glad I had so much practice with misleading truths, but most of it was straight forward.

"Tell. Me. Everything." Jessica demanded. I chuckled. She frowned. "Don't you laugh, you conveniently 'run into' Edward Cullen last night because you're 'lost.'" She rolled her eyes. "Ms. Did-not-need-to-use-the-GPS got lost." I could feel the air quotes. They hurt. "Then Edward Freaking Cullen shows up with you to school, and agrees to go out on a date with you, in public."

"You have great summary skills." I remarked. "Mr. Mason would be proud." Jessica huffed.

"Did you tell him to meet you there?" She asked. I shook my head.

"An actual happy coincidence." I informed her, to her disappointment.

"But you came to school together?" Sge pressed. She looked at me meaningfully. "And Beth is out of town." Huh. I had not considered that.

"He tried to pick me up this morning in his Volvo, and I refused to ride in that… thing." I told her. She seemed amused at my horrified expression. "Shiny and new does not mean quality." Jessica seemed to accept this. She had heard at least four of my rants about the state of the automotive industry.

"So you asked him out this morning." It wasn't a question. At least 20 people had witnessed it. I nodded. She leaned back in her chair. The sub looked up at the noise just long enough to shush her. We ignored him.

"Wow." Jessica said, dragging the word out so long I started counting syllables. 6. 6 syllables.

"Wow." I echoed. "Still a little in shock myself." I smiled at picked up my pencil, thinking it was over.

"Wait." She hissed, grabbing my hand. "Has he kissed you?" I shook my head. She looked disappointed.

"We haven't even held hands." I bemoaned. Jessica patted my hand in sympathy.

"When is your date?" She asked. I shrugged.

"Sometime." I hedged. "We haven't talked much."

"What did you talk about?"

Death. Danger. Blood. Promises. Trust.

"We've talked a bit about our families." I said honestly. "We're both adopted." Jessica gave a compassionate hand squeeze and let that drop, thankfully.

"Can't you give me one little detail?" She pressed. "Since we're friends." I pursed my lips in thought.

"The waitress tried to slip him her number." I admitted. Jessica looked scandalized.

"What did he do?" She asked, leaning in.

"I'm not sure he even noticed." I admitted. "He didn't even look at the paper."

"That's a good sign." Jessica said, sagely nodding her head. An expert on boys. More of an expert than me, anyway. "Was she pretty?"

"Very." I informed her. "And about 20."

"Even better. Proves he likes you."

"Not that he's ever said anything about his feelings. I'm just supposed to know. I'm pretty sure I like him more than he likes me, but he never opens his mouth..." Jessica rolled her eye.

"Boys." She complained. "They are allergic to it or something."

"Mike told me he had a good time Monday though." I informed her. "So maybe he isn't deathly allergic, unlike certain others."

"Tell me what he said and his exact intonation." Jessica demanded. I smiled and started to parrot the (very short) conversation until lunch.

On the way to lunch Lauren and Jessica started an analysis of Edward's "As you wish" quote. It was all over the school already, and Lauren already told me he was whipped.

No, sweetie, he was demanding, and sarcastic, mule-headed stubborn donkey ass.

A loveable mule-headed stubborn donkey ass. My ass. And what an ass.

Edward was waiting for me at the entrance to the cafeteria. Jessica gave me a meaningful look that went right over my head as she and Lauren went to there table.

"See you later Amara!" Jessica called.

She was going to call me tonight and ask for details.

"Hello." Edward greeted.

"Hey, Dread Pirate Roberts." He quirked a small smile.

Everyone stared as we went through the lunch line. He started filling up a tray, for two.

"Can you get chocolate milk?" I instructed. He obeyed. He didn't speak, giving me more of the silent treatment. Well, at least he wasn't making decisions for me anymore.

"Oh!" I said, pointing at the pizza. "They have the imitation stuffed crust ones. Those barely taste like cardboard at all." I smiled at him. "We should get those." I suggested. He slid two on the tray. "I'm going to grab some cookies, and then I'm good." He frowned.

"No fruits or vegetables?" He asked, disappointment coloring his tone. I sighed. I picked up a single apple and set it one the tray. He seemed pleased. He grabbed a small serving of carrots too and I frowned, but didn't comment. Yet.

Edward paid and took us to our new lunch table. Our new empty table. That everyone was staring at. At our table Edward set the tray between us as we sat across from each other.

"Take whatever you want." He instructed, nudging the tray toward me. He looked meaningfully at the carrots. I grabbed a slice of pizza. He sighed in exasperation. It was a good sound. Probably because I'm a bit of an asshole. It just means we're perfect for each other.

"I'm not eating the carrots." I told him honestly after swallowing. "I hate veggies."

"At least eat the apple?" He asked. I shrugged.

"Maybe." I agreed. Probably not a problem. His eyes flashed over my shoulder.

"Jessica is analyzing everything I do. She'll break it down for you later." I nodded, having assumed that was going to happen. He pushed the apple towards me. I set down the pizza and took a bite of the apple with a loud crunch, glaring at him playfully. He laughed. I went quickly back to my pizza.

"So the waitress was pretty, was she?" His voice was fake casual. Trap. Danger.

"You really didn't notice?" Damn. Stupid insecurity. I am more than moderately pretty and have great double DDs. I've turned down 5 dates this week. To hell with you, low self-esteem.

"I wasn't paying attention. I had a lot on my mind."

Ok. Fair.

"And there was something you said to Jessica."

"Because you were eavesdropping." I interrupted. He ignored it. He paused, deep in thought. Then he looked me in the eyes like he could search my soul. He turned the dazzle up to 11.

"Do you truly believe that you care more for me than I do for you?" He leaned in closer, murmuring the words. I blinked, clearing away the haze of dazzle.

"You don't have to dazzle me to get me to answer you."

"Are you going to answer the question?" He was irritated now. I sighed.

"I'm not sure, Edward." I admitted. "I only know what I feel right now. You haven't been forthcoming, and you painfully ignored me for weeks." I rolled my shoulders and tried to ignore his pinched expression.

"You never tell me anything." I reminded him. "And usually that's ok." I allowed. "But opening up just a little wouldn't hurt." I paused. "And I hear a goodbye in every word you say."

Edward was quiet for a long minute. I ate my food without tasting it.

"That just means I care the most. If I can do it…" he shook his head in a short movement in denial. "...if leaving is the right thing to do, then I'll hurt myself to keep from hurting you, to keep you safe."

I glared at him, to pissed to speak. I viciously bit into my apple, wishing to beam him in him perfect teeth.

Then he smiled, and he transformed into the beautiful man he was.

"Of course, keeping you safe is beginning to feel like a full time job, one that requires my contestant vigilance." Good.

"No attempted assassinations, but the day is young. I'm sure they'll be an attempt on my life soon." Good. Stick close by. Would now be a good time to mention Giorvelli? No. Public place.

"I have another question for you." He said.

"Then I hope it's one I can answer."

"What are you doing Saturday?"

I nearly spit out my milk. I swallowed.

"Not going to a dance." I said slowly. "I still haven't quite forgiven you for the Tyler thing."

"He was going to ask you anyway." Edward dismissed. "I just wanted to be able to watch."

"Fair." I agreed. "I would have done the same."

"If I'd have asked you, would you have turned me down?" He asked curiously. I shrugged.

"The only way I'm going to a school dance is if it is important to you." I explained. "I don't dance much, really, and being stuck with crappy food and crappy music doesn't sound like a good time." Edward looked thoughtful.

"Would you be open to an alternative?" He asked.

"As long as I drive, or we take Baby." I insisted. Edward laughed.

"Yes, you have made your hatred of my car quite clear." He said, amused. I smiled back. God, it felt so good to be around him. Like a warmth and feeling of home. Intoxicating.

"I want to show you someplace special." He told me. He seemed even a little shy about it. It was adorable.

"As you wish."

Chapter Text

Over half the class attempted to not stare as we entered. The rest didn't bother with the potite facade. Except for the girl in the back already reading and ignoring everyone. Respect.

Small town gossip was weird. I had usually kept to bigger cities and communities. Less people cared there. Here, everyone wanted to know everyone's business. Probably due to lack of other entertainment avenues.

Speaking of entertainment, Mr. Banner, who I was secretly hoping had the first name of Bruce, wheeled in a TV so old that made me seriously wonder if it was capable of techno-color. Had anything in this school changed since the nineties? They weren't coming back, no matter how many Backstreet Boys reunions there were.

Mr. Banner fought with the ancient VCR player. Seriously. A VCR. Matt ended up pulling out his Cape and saving the day by plugging it in correctly. Dude may not be socially with it, but he was majorly mechanically minded.

The lights were flicked off, and the room was lit only by the dim screen, and dimmer shaded windows guarding us from the overcast sky. I felt Edward stiffen slightly at my side.

In the darkness, I was suddenly hyper aware of the scant inch or two of space between his arm and mine. Inches from holding his hand in the dark room, with no one to see. I had a strong desire to reach across those inches and interlock his fingers with mine. To feel him, and know him. His skin. His hands. His feelings.

I had thought I couldn't be more aware of him. I was wrong. I could feel every perfectly measured unnecessary breath he took. The tension in his body as he gripped the edge of the desk. As the introduction of the film began, I used the light to see him more clearly The lights flickered over his face, and his eyes met mine. His grin was apologetic and chagrined, and he glanced meaningfully at my own clenched fists.

I smiled back in the darkness, trying not to get lost in his eyes. They were intense and dark and dangerous. I took a slow, deep breath, noticing that I was getting dizzy. All I could smell was him. I took another deep breath and closed my eyes.

If I hadn't been religiously watching the clock, and then double checking that it matched my watch, then I would have accused poor Mr. Banner of keeping us late. That was the longest movie I have ever seen. I have marathoned seasons and entire shows that were shorter. I suspected some sort of time dilation effect, or witchcraft.

I permitted myself to look at Edward once every 3 minutes. I tried 5, but I couldn't make it. After the second, he would meet my eyes for that brief second, before the tension got too great. After realizing I was clenching my fists and digging my nails into my hands, I gripped the table, my posture mirroring his. I ached to touch him.

One eternity later…

The lights flickered on, and everyone started packing up. I flexed my fingers and wrists, and tried to rub out some of the tension. Edward chuckled.

"That was… interesting," he murmured quietly enough that only I could hear him. His voice was dark and a little confused. So was I. I mean, what was that about?

"Definitely curious." I agreed. Note to self: Don't go to a movie together.

"Shall we?" He asked, rising fluidly from his seat with a grace that my stiff muscles were incapable of at present. I groaned and stretched. He looked amused. I smirked at him.

"Some of us are not naturally athletic," I reminded him. I stood and nearly tripped over my chair. His hand steadied me for the moment I needed, so I didn't face plant. I had been sitting too awkwardly.

"Crap," I muttered. "Walk me to class, please." I rubbed my thigh. "My right leg's asleep. And I have Gym!" I bemoaned. He chuckled at my pain and walked my limping butt to gym class. I muttered complaints and mild curses.

"We'll find out if you're just as clumsy in Gym today." He teased. I groaned.

"And you are going to eavesdrop." I complained. "Can't you just… not?"

At the door, he paused. I turned to say goodbye. His face startled me. His expression was torn. He looked like he bore a great pain that had only a flighty hope.

He raised his hand, his eyes raging with internal conflict. He swiftly brushed the length of my cheekbone with his fingertips. Then he turned on his heels and quickly walked away, leaving me reeling.

I went through the motions of dressing out for gym in a daze. I sighed. His emotions were a jumbled mess that I was still picking apart. He was hungry, which scared me slightly, but I was immediately calmed by the protective and possessive feelings. The urge he had to touch me was even stronger than my urge to touch him. And the guilt, the hope, the pain, the sorrow, the joy, the anger, the love. All of it swirling together inside him.

What would kissing him feel like?

I was brought back to reality by someone pressing a racket into my hand. Joy. Racket Ball. At least I knew how to play this.

Mike, ever chivalrous, joined me, and we trounced them. 1 hour. Four games. Four victories. The biggest struggle was not to think of it as tennis. Mike was a strong athlete, and picked it up well, but I had played for years. Which meant by last match we were pretty even. We exchanged a celebratory high five as we walked off the court.

"So…" he said as we put away our rackets.

"So?" I asked, confused. Well, not really. It was probably about Edward. He does sit behind us in Biology and we are all creepy. Edward does have all those dangerous vibes.

"You and Cullen, huh?" he asked. His tone was little accusatory, while still being uncertain.

"Are you trying to imply you get a say in who I date?" I said, eyebrow raised. "Recall what happened to Tyler?" Mike flinched, and rightly so. Tyler had ended up paying me back for being a presumptuous ass by personally running a 'no means no' event for the school. I called his mother and made sure she knew why.

"I'm just expressing my concern that he may not be in your best interest," he saved.

"I appreciate your concern," I said politely and blandly. I went to turn away.

"He looks at you like you're something to eat," he said in a rush.

I burst out laughing. He looked startled and a little hurt. I shook my head.

"Mike," I said, keeping my tone kind. "Maybe I like that?" Matt's mouth dropped open and I left him there to go change.

My mind whirled as I dressed. Would Edward be waiting for me after class? What if he had decided he was too dangerous to be around me again? What would I do if he left? Was that touch a goodbye?

By the time I left the gym I was half convinced that the entire Cullen family would have moved out of the state during 7th period. But, fortunately, I was proven to be a paranoid bastard by a certain someone leaning casually against the building, face untroubled. I tried to rid myself of my irrational anger with him for being calm.

"Hey there, handsome." I greeted. He smiled.

"Have fun in gym?" He asked, a little smirk on his lips.

"Have fun eavesdropping?" I countered, eyebrow raised. We started walking to my car. He chuckled.

"You knew I would be."

"Great hearing." I commented dryly. "Let's work on the listening." A crowd of boys were surrounding the BMW convertible in the lot. It was shiny and red and made for an excellent distraction for us to get to my car.

We got it the car and the soothing tones of Johnny Mathis filled the air. He worked a half smile at me. I raised my eyebrows back challengingly. He furrowed his brow, frustrated. I chuckled. He stared at me like that would reveal all my secrets. Good luck Eddy.

"You are… frustratingly opaque." He complained, in a tone that made it seem like he was commenting on the weather. I laughed at him as I drove myself home.

"My secrets have secrets." I informed him. "Like an onion."

"Then someday I'll peel through all the layers." He promised.

"Leave a woman her mystery." I reminded him. "Besides, name one secret you've actually told me." He frowned.

"I told you the biggest one of all: what kind of monster I am." He reminded me in confusion. I tisked in response.

"Ah ah." I stopped him. "I told you I knew." I turned another street closer. "I've told you what I know, you revealed nothing, only confirmed."

"You seem very uncurious." He accused. I shrugged.

"I am very curious, but very patient." I informed him. "I haven't even mentioned the mind reading." He stiffened. I chuckled. "You forget, sweetheart, just how many telepaths are among the fey." I shot him a glance. He was rigid in his seat. "My grandfather is a telepath. I can shield in my sleep."

"So you could take the shield down?" He asked, intrigued. I turned up my driveway.

"Maybe." I supplied, making him furrow his brow in frustration again. "But there are secrets in my head that you are not allowed to know." He practically pouted. I outright laughed as I parked. "They are not my secrets. I know some things that should not be spread, and are not my secrets to tell."

"But I wouldn't tell." He said confused.

"But I swore not to, and my word is binding." I said seriously. His face cleared.

"The word of a fey." He said seriously. I nodded.

"Unbreakable." I finished. He looked troubled.

"You are fey enough for that?" He asked, worried. I nodded.

"Fey enough to have never lied to you." I told him. He nodded once, face tight. We sat it the rain in the car for a long moment.

"Then why?" He asked, confused. "Why risk yourself like this?" I swallowed.

"I'll tell you Saturday, in your secret place." I promised. He nodded and got out of the car. He was at my door and opening it before I could.

"Chivalry is not dead, I see." I teased, trying to raise the mood. He caught on and the corners of her mouth upturned.

"Some of us were raised to be gentlemen." He said giving a little tilt of the head, reminiscent of a bow. I tilted my head back.

"Some if us were raised to be ladies, then started being ourselves when we found out that ladies weren't allowed to play sports, like cars, or go to college." I said challengingly. He raised an eyebrow.

"Women have enrolled in equal number to men since 1980." He said thoughtfully. I smiled cheekily.

"It was a good year." I agreed. His other eyebrow went up.

"How old are you?" He asked quietly. I laughed and started walking toward to door, getting out of the rain.

"Didn't you know?" I said airily. "It's impolite to ask a woman her age." He followed me. I unlocked the door and turned around.

"How old are you, please? He asked again, more politely. He eyes were intense and he looked frustrated.

"I'm ever so much more than 20." I quoted, frustrating him more. He scowled. I relented. "You first. When were you born?"

"1901." He said quickly. I smiled.

"See, was that so hard?" I teased. He stared me down and I could see the barely held desire to roll his eyes. I would get him to do that one of these days. Break that control.

"Please." He said, with actual pleading in his tone. I relented.

"You're still robbing the cradle, don't worry." I told him. I paused and leaned in to whisper in his ear. He stiffened but allowed it. My cheek brushed his and I felt the spark of his impatience and need. And the frustrated fondness too.

"Amara." He whispered warning as I inhaled deeply.

"1939." I whispered. I pulled away, my lips brushing his cheek as I did. I felt his surge of lust and joy and guilt. I pulled myself inside and blew him a kiss as I shut the door on his shocked face.

Chapter Text

Mornings were boring without the usual back and forth with Beth. Beth and I had been each other’s… well… family… for most of her life, and decades of mine. I changed that girl’s diapers, and then held her hair back the first time she got blitzed off vodka. It’s complicated. We were close, is what I’m saying. And mornings aren’t the same without bickering and pancakes. Sure, I could make pancakes, but pancakes just tasted better when you didn’t have to make them yourself. Scientific fact.

This morning’s gourmet meal was Poptarts, washed down with a prepackaged mango smoothie, because poptarts are jam-filled sugary cardboard that sucks up all the moisture in your mouth until you are willing to drink spaghetti sauce just to put some sort of liquid in your mouth so you can swallow. I love Poptarts.

I was still washing down the detritus of my “meal” with my second smoothie as I walked out the door. Surprise, surprise. Eddy dearest was outside, watching me picking bits of Poptart out of my gums with an elegant picky finger. Sexy. I sucked it off anyway with a shrug. He was either going to get over it, or not, but I was not wasting Poptart. I took a swig of the juice and looked him over.

He looked like he was modeling for H&M. Perfectly quaffed hair, artfully untucked shirt and leaning oh so casually against the side of my car. Good boy. You’re learning.

“I see you didn’t bring your inferior car today.” I joked getting out my keys and walking over to the driver’s side. He gave me a slightly pained smile.

“Seemed like the thing to do.” He said with a shrug. I smiled at him and his eyes softened. I let us both into the car and started the engine, if nothing else, to get the heat going.

“You look tired.” He commented. I burst out laughing. He seemed mildly affronted.

“Where did you learn conversation skills?” I joked. “Ask one of your sisters what would happen if someone asked them if they looked tired.” He shivered.

“No thank you.” He disagreed emphatically. “And if a apologize, please don’t tell them I did that.” I chuckled again, but nodded.

“But, yeah, I am tired.” I agreed with him. He frowned. “I couldn’t sleep.”

“Neither could I.” He told me dryly. I couldn’t help laughing again. His mouth quirked into his own smile.

“I guess I slept a little bit more than you did.” I allowed. His grin grew a bit wider. “So what did you do last night?”

“Only if you answer the same.” He demanded.

“I’m game.” I agreed. “We take loosely defined turns asking questions, but the you have to answer your own question too, or the equivalent, for equity sake.” I paused. “And be honest. You know I will.” He nearly looked guilty.

“You were just saying we both have secrets.” He reminded me. I nodded, already close to the school. “Certain secrets cannot be shared, if they are not our own?” I nodded. Aw. He does listen.

“Agreed.” I said.

“What’s your favorite color?” Edward asked seriously. I smiled.

“Depends on the mood and day, but always a variation on blue.” I told him. “Could go as far as purple or green, shade varies, but always a bit of blue in it.”

“Like your eyes.” He commented. I frowned. My eyes were mostly blue, and how long had he looked at them to see the purple in them? “They have little bits of purple and green in them.” I was surprised.

“Green too?” I hummed in thought. “You learn new things about yourself every day.” He hummed in his own amusement. I pulled into the parking lot of hte school and went to my usual space. It always amused me how we are creatures of habit and unassigned spaces soon become defacto assigned. “What’s your’s?” He hummed, loud as I shut off the engine.

“Blue.” He agreed immediately. I smiled. “Nearly the exact color of your eyes.” He paused. “Well most of your eyes.” He seemed a little embarrassed at this assertion. He grabbed his, probably expensive, backpack from the seat well and joined me as I locked up the car and grabbed my own bag.

He walked me to English class, and we threw questions back and forth. Favorite color set the tone, and we compared favorite movies, books, music and more. We picked up between classes and talked all through lunch. I found out that his taste in pretty much everything was old. He seemed to be stuck in the early nineteen hundreds in regards to books, and film. Music though, music was where we both waxed poetic about the 50s. Hey, it was my actual teenage years. It’s nostalgia.

He seemed to love out little questioning game.

“What is your favorite gemstone?’ He asked, adding quickly, “Mine is diamond.” I frowned.

“I’m actually morally opposed to the diamond trade and refuse the wear diamonds.” I informed him. “Have you heard about the horrible human rights violations that those mines put workers through, not to mention how bad it used to be.” I shuddered. “I might wear a lab created diamond, but diamond are so blood soaked for me, that they kind of creep me out. I can’t imagine wearing a stone, and knowing that someone bled, starved, and maybe even died so you could show it off.” Edward was watching my face raptly, which was pretty flattering. He genuinely wanted to hear what I had to say. “My favorites are actually not technically stones.” I smiled. “I actually love pearls and amber.”

“Organic.” He commented, referring to the fey’s connection to nature. I shrugged.

“Amber is beautiful and unique.” I argued. “The colorings vary so much and its like a piece of art in a stone, let alone any piece of jewelry its set in.” Edward smiled at my passionate mini tirade.
Biology had the ancient TV set and VCR making a dreaded reappearance. Edward took a moment to scoot his chair back from me before the nights went down… and it did absolutely nothing to help. I wanted to ravish him, or him to ravish me, or, quite possibly, just to hold his hand. It was a weird electric current and focus and felt like a bittersweet agony.

When the lights came on, I could not have told you what language the film had been in, let alone it’s subject. I’m just going to assume it was a Russian documentary on domesticated cats, because it pleases me.

Edward stood up, graceful as always, while my butt had fallen asleep. I wondered if he told tell. The blood flow would be different, and he did have super enhanced senses. Which meant he could probably also tell every time I lusted after his ass. And other, non-gluteus parts of his body.

We walked in silence to my Gym class, just like the day before. I felt abuzz with the need to touch him. He turned to me when we arrived, looked about to speak, then quickly stroked one hand from my temple down along my jaw line. I had to lock my knees to keep from falling. The onslaught to such powerful emotions. Such a powerful desire to hold me, touch me… possess me.

I stood there for a moment until I was sure I could walk without falling over or chasing after him. I was nearly late for Gym and had to rush to dress out. I shook my head and tried to put the situation out of my head.

Mike and I were split up after our glorious victory yesterday, as we were now designated as teachers. I told the couch that my Grandad liked the game, which was, of course, true. She just nodded along and had me instruct a group of three struggling players. I noticed, with barely contained glee, that Mike’s group had Jessica in it. I gave her a meaningful look and a thumbs up. She waited until his back was turned again and gave me one back.

Coach Clapp rewarded my mediocre tutelage of my peers by letting me go a few minutes early to get cleaned up and changed. I was desperate to do a sink wash and apply deodorant. Do you know how well a vampire smells? I was not going to be reeking of pit stank. I felt the pull back to his side, as always, gentler now that we had spent so much time together recently.

He met me at the door. Something in me released with nearly painful relief at the sight of him. I smiled. He smiled back, making mine grow.

Then he launched into a new question. This time, they were more careful. Not just favorites. He wanted to know deeper things. Was I happy? Did I feel frustrated with teenagers?

When we got in the car, he asked me about Beth. I smiled fondly as I told him of the child she was. Her mother and I had been college roommates who never stopped living together, and when she became a single mom, I helped out. I had helped raise her, and then continued to raise on my own when her mother died on us.

Edward told me about Alice in return. She had, apparently, given him permission. He frowned when I mentioned meeting her, but he was genuinely fond of her, for all he called her a ‘meddlesome pixie.’ He talked about playing chess with her, and shopping and being a sibling. Eventually, my stomach rumbled, bringing us back to the present.

He frowned down at me stomach. I laughed at his expression.

“I think I need to go eat something.” I said with a chuckle. He nodded much more seriously than me.

“I’m keeping you from your dinner.” He said stiffly. “We can talk more tomorrow.”

“And Saturday.” I reminded him. He nodded, still probably internally self blaming. “You gonna come get me? I’ll even let you take your shiny plastic car.” I teased.

He actually rolled his eyes.

I grinned and nearly yelled in victory, supremely pleased with myself. We got out of the car and he walked me to my front door. He looked as if he was about to say something again, then brushed his hand quickly across my forehead and down passed my temple, moving a stray hair out of my face. I could feel his turmoil. Wanting, needing, fearing, and over all protective. Such strong emotions took my breath away. He turned and was out of sight before I got it back

Chapter Text

The phone rang at five in the morning, interrupting my meditation time. The sounds of Sister Sledge and We are Family filled the air, making me scramble for the phone to answer it. I had to flip it around to put it the right way up before saying ‘Hello’ into the mic.

“They want the deal.” Beth squealed with no preamble. I made a wordless squeal of my own back at her, excited on her behalf. “My agent is going to iron out the contract over the next week, and then, boom, international sales contract.”

“I am beyond proud.” I told her honestly. “Any problems in remaining anonymous?” I leaned back against the wall, breaking my meditative pose. I was well rested and super excited.

“They liked the mock ups of the fake author’s bio we offered.” Beth informed me. She had meticulously worked to stay out of the public eye, but she loved to publish. And she deserved it. “They’re interested in the whole series too. Maybe even a multi-book deal to follow.”

“The series has done excellently in the US.” I reminded her. “I bet they want in on all the money you can get them.”

“I just want the story out there.” She sounded pleased, though. “I can’t do anything for the next week but site-see.” I made my laptop float over to me from my desk.

“Let’s get you a killer list going, then.” I said, bring up my personal lists of sites to see in London. “And don’t forget, I want pictures.”

“Uncle Henrick is in the area and is going to join me for a little vacation.” Beth added.

“Don’t set anything on fire.” I warned. She laughed. “Seriously. I will be super disappointed in you if you start setting fires. You know Uncle Henrick loves fire” I sighed. “But send my love and see if he can ask if Ket wants to visit sometime.”

“I know you miss Ket.” Beth said fondly. “And I will. I will also do my best to keep Uncle out of trouble. But lets see the list!”

“OK. First, there’s a hidden Fey museum under the Thames near the Tower that you must check out.” Beth and I talk for over and hour and laid out a basic plan, including some of the more fey landmarks she should see and how to find them. Uncle Henrick could probably help with that too. We hung up so I could get to school.

I was thankful, once again, that our driveway was out of sight of any other house nearby. We had about 2 acres, and it was more than enough to keep it nice and private, what with all the trees. It also let us have a little greenhouse for my herb garden. I had a bit of a green thumb.

It meant the when I exited my house, singing a happy song, that Edward was waiting in the driveway. I grinned at him. He smiled and waved back, a little pained, but genuine enough. Probably still all ‘woe is me’ and ‘I am going to kill you’ and all that jazz. He needed black eyeliner and Hot topic to throw up on him. Ooh, I could wear a corset. Haven’t worn one of those in a while. Not since Ren Fest a couple of years back.

“Is that ‘I’m sittin’ on top of the world’?” Edward asked, amused. “You like Al Jolson?” I laughed and shook my head.

“More the Frank Crumit version.” I corrected. “Feeling on top of the world, so why not?” Edward looked a little fond and exasperatedly confused.

“Why are you feeling on top of the world?” He asked, with forced patience.

“Beth is going to get the book deal. No problems with her staying anonymous, and she might sign on for more sequels!” I told him excitedly. “She is amazing!” Edward smiled.

“She must take after you then.” Edward said smoothly. Damn, did he actually have a little game? Where had he been hiding it? “How did you sleep last night?” I smiled.

“Great!” I answered. “Missed my morning meditation, but, not the end of the world. Should be able to get some in tonight.” He nodded thoughtfully. “How was your night?”

“No bad dreams.” He said slyly. I laughed.

“I bet not.” I smiled and him and unlocked the car. “Do you have more questions for me?” He nodded.

“What were your parent’s like?” He asked. I frowned, and swallowed and I started the car. Edward looked concerned. I sighed as I started on my way to school.

“My father deserted my mother pretty much as soon as she got pregnant, because she wanted to go back and see a healer.” I admitted. Edward made no movements. “I’ve talked with him five times, ever. I have a half brother by the same father who is just like his dad. I’ve spoken with him twice. Neither one was willing to take care of me after my mother died when I was little.” I licked my lips, trying to think of anything else I could say without giving things away that I probably shouldn’t. “Neither of them are good with cities, or even suburbs.” There. There are many types of fey that prefer the wilderness.

“They abandoned you?” He asked, voice full of controlled anger. I shrugged.

“It was a long time ago. They have helped with protections for me over the years, and occasionally send gifts.” I admitted. “They just, temporally, can not colocate.” Edward paused.

“Can not.” He repeated. “This is not something they can change?” I nodded.

“It’s who they are.” I said, relieved. “They are friendly, just unable to take care of me like that.” Edward slowly nodded.

“And your mother?” He continued after a moment. I smiled sadly.

“She died in the Blitz, as did a lot of Fey.” I admitted. “Too much falling steel and iron. Plus all the fire isn’t good for all of us.” I pulled into the parking lot. “What I remember, she was a full of fun, always wanting to play and tried to never wear shoes. She always said her toes should be free, just like her. She loved lemons and would eat them like oranges.” I parked and turned off the engine. “Her eyes were the same color as mine.” Edward was quiet for a moment, then softly brushed the back of my hand. I could feel his desire to comfort me, and his fondness and still that possessive streak that never went away.

We got out of the car and he put a hand in the small of my back where I could barely feel it through my coat. He walked me to my English class in silence. As he turned to leave, he paused.

“She sounds almost as wonderful as you.” He sent in parting. I walked into English with a smile. Dork.

Chapter Text

The next opportunity we had to talk was on our way to lunch. Edward picked me up after Spanish. He was waiting at the door, an amused smile on his face as he watched me send a little wink to Jess as I went to join him.

“She is planning on calling you after school for the details,” Edward informed me quietly, falling into step beside me with easy grace. I shrugged.

“I figured,” I admitted. “She’s friendly, if a bit of a gossip. We’ve gotten along a lot better since I told Mike to ask her out.” I chuckled. “He was just oblivious, the poor thing.” Edward looked amused still. I changed the subject. “So I told you my exciting news from last night, what did you do last night?”

“Pleasant,” he said airly. I nodded and filled my tray in line. They had quite the selection. I grabbed a milk, with a quiet grin and popped in on the cart. Because I was in great mood, I grabbed a pudding cup for desert. Time to party. Edward frowned down at my tray.

“No vegetables?” he asked, concerned, probably about my health. That was kinda adorable and I chuckled and grabbed a fruit. He grabbed some for his tray. Weird, as he wasn’t going to eat them.

As we took our seat at out empty table, I could feel the eyes watching us. It was like being in a little fish bowl. I maybe a documentary on the mating practices of the blue waisted ninny muggins. Not exactly what I had planned when I came to a small town. I knew there would be attention, but this was small town gossip fuel for years, not months. It would calm down eventually, but how many people would remember me, years from now? I would have to be careful in the future. Didn’t Edward think about that? Well, Jess had said that his behavior with me was really unusual.

Edward started asking questions again. This time about Beth. He didn’t seem to know how to phrase the question, and it took him a couple of times to get one he was happy with.

“How did you meet Beth?” He eventually settled on. I smiled, drinking some of my milk.

“When she was born,” I said, making sure my voice was pitched low. I looked at him meaningfully. “And if anyone can hear us, then that’s all I’ll say.” Edward got a faraway look in his eyes for a second.

“They can’t,” he informed me. Then paused, glancing at his siblings. “Well, my family can, but no one else is close enough.” I nodded, trusting that.

“Her birth mom was my best friend in college, and I help deliver her,” I told him. “Her birth mom died when she was 3, and I adopted her. I was already her godmother and lived with them. Over the years, our relationship has adjusted as she has grown up, but we are really very close.” I smiled fondly and ate some more. “I’ll introduce you when she gets back next week.” Edward frowned but nodded.

Then we went into dating history. Like, seriously, he wanted to know my dating history. I told him the truth, that I used to go dancing and such with different people, but I didn’t really have a serious boyfriend. I thought there was someone once, but they fled as soon as I adopted Beth. Edward was angry on my behalf.

“He didn’t deserve you,” he told me hotly. I smiled. I reached for my pudding cup and Edward grabbed it first. He then handed me a cup of carrots and snap peas.

“These are better for you,” he told me. I looked from the veggie cup to the pudding cup, to him slowly, not taking it. I licked my lips and took a deep breath. How dare he?

“Did you seriously just take food off my plate and decide to make decisions about my body for me?” I said, speaking slowly in a low voice. He froze at the tone, before setting down both the veggie cup and the pudding cup. “Are you going to order me to eat it too, Eddie boy?” He looked very uncomfortable now. I glanced at his sibling, who appeared to be snickering. “What do you think one of your sisters would do if you tried to tell them what was best for them?” I raised an eyebrow, and looked at him seriously. He glanced quickly at his sisters, and I swear, I saw him get even paler. He swallowed, looked back at me, and handed me the pudding cup wordlessly. I smiled at him tightly, and opened my treat. He was silent for a moment as I started to eat.

“Would you really have dumped milk on my head?” He asked, concerned. I paused looked up at him, and raised an eyebrow. He nodded. I let the dairy rush go through me and grabbed his milk off his tray he flinched, but I just opened it and started drinking. This was apparently a two milk day. I might need another if he was going to continue to be a controlling dumb ass. There was a few minutes of awkward silence as Edward made some sort of peace with that. He was also glaring at his siblings a little bit.

“I’ll be leaving with Alice after lunch,” Edward told me, breaking me about of my brooding over the universe trying to screw me over. I looked up at him, curious.

“Where are you going?” I asked, licking the spoon clean of pudding. It was delicious. I was definitely mellowing out from our little argument after that second milk.

“Hunting,” he said grimly. “I’m taking as many precautions as I can before our date tomorrow.” I nodded and smiled at him. There was hope for him.

“That’s not a bad idea,” I admitted. “I’ll remember to slap you in case you get frisky or bitey without asking.” His eyebrows went up. I grinned at him widely. He face went serious again.

“It’s not too late to back out,” Edward said meeting my eyes. I could feel him trying to freaking influence me to think his way, the manipulative asshole.

“Stop trying to make my change my mind,” I said, annoyed. “I made a decision, and it is an informed decision. So, yes, I will see you Saturday.” I shuddered. “Even if you are going to bring your plastic car.” Edwards, mouth quirked in a smile.

“I’ll see it I can find an alternative more suitable to your delicate sensibilities,” he said dryly. I grinned and winked back.

“What time will my chariot arrive?” I asked, amused. He leaned back.

“Do you want to sleep in?” he asked. “Get some extra beauty sleep?” I chuckled.

“Same old time’s fine by me,” I told him, waving a hand in his general direction. He nodded, and offered me his apple. I took it and bit into it.

“Will Beth be home?” He asked. I shook my head and swallowed.

“Not until next week,” I informed him, which made him frown and look troubled.

“Does she know where you’re going?” he asked pointedly. I nodded.

“Yep,” I said, surprising him. “She knows what’s going on. If I disappear, then she will gather my side of the family and track you down.” His face cycled through various emotions, before settling on impressed. “I’m a paranoid bastard, Sweetheart.” I winked at him. He seemed to approve. I was tempted to touch his hand to find out for sure. I cleared my throat.

“So, why are you going with Alice,” I asked, working on my apple. He frowned.

“Alice… is the most supportive,” he admitted. I nodded.

“Did you tell them what I am?” I asked, no judgement in my tone. He looked to the side.

“Alice already knew,” he admitted. I nodded. “Then she told Jasper. And then I had to tell Carlisle. So he had to tell Esme, and then... “ I laughed at his embarrassed expression. he perked up at the sound and looked a bit bestowed, actually. it was adorable. I’m not sure if it was adorable because of magic bond reasons, or if he was really adorable. Possibly a bit of both. His smile was cute though. There was a ghost of a blush on his face, but he chuckled a little too at his own expense.

“And how do the others feel about me?” I asked, not looking over to them, as much as I wanted to. He frowned.

“They’re worried,” he admitted. I nodded, understanding. “They don’t understand why I can’t stay away from you.” I smiled at that and nodded.

“I have a theory or two,” I admitted. He narrowed his eyes. “I’ll tell you tomorrow.” He looked frustrated now. I grinned at his frustration.

“You’re always doing that,” he admitted. “Being frustratingly unpredictable.” I chuckled.

“Oh, poor me, I can’t know exactly everything someone is thinking at all times,” I said flatly, rolling my eyes. He shook his head.

“There’s more to it than that,” he protested. “You’re more than that,” I hear a chair creak and looked over to his family. Rosalie was staring at me, Emmett had scooted his chair to lay a hand on her arm. She maintained eye contact with me as she hissed something to Emmett. I shivered and looked back to Edward, who sighed.

“I’m sorry about that,” he said quietly. I nodded and swallowed. “She’s just worried. This is so public. If this ends badly…” His hands were clenched into fist on the table and I couldn’t resist laying one of my hands on top of his. He was feeling so much. Much stronger than a human. He was scared and frustrated and confused and over it all so brimming with care for me. And possessiveness too. It was clear he thought of me as his. But is was also clear he was devastated at the thought of hurting me. I smiled at him kindly.

“It’s not just your safety on the line,” I finished for him. he nodded. “I understand. I told Beth to not let it incriminate your family if I go missing. I’m not telling anyone else about tomorrow. And I’m a lot harder to kill than I look.” I squeezed his hand. he let me and I felt his disbelief at the statement. Did he think I was lying, or that I was overestimating myself? He turned his hand up and ran his thumb over my hand. He was in awe of it, somehow. Grateful and fearful and self loathing and the tiniest bit of hope. And of course, frustration. A lot of it not directed at me even. Probably his sister. Siblings were like that, I’d heard.

He caressed the back of my hand slowly with his thumb as if it was precious. he was staring at it. Through it all, his face was just as conflicted as he was on the inside. I could feel it, the same compulsion I had to be near him, he had it for me. But he also had so much self loathing it needed a warning label. And the fear was nearly overwhelming. There was a hint of startled fondness than ran through him that was my first indication that someone was near us.

“Time to go, Edward,” Alice said, making me turn and face her. Her voice was high and airy, but kind. Her black hair had that artful disarray that took hours to accomplish. I suppose that if you didn’t sleep, such things were possible. She stood behind Edward’s shoulder and her gaze flickered to our hands. He slid his hand from mine and I felt the loss.

“Alice, this is Amara,” Edward introduced us, not looking at his sister. “Amara, Alice.” I held a hand up and waved. Her eyes were unreadable, but here smile was friendly.

“Nice to meet you Alice,” I greeted. “I’m sure we’ll see more of each other in the future.” She brightened, But then Edward’s eyes flashed dark and she glanced down at him.

“Are you ready?” Alice asked Edward. He didn’t look back at her.

“Nearly,” he informed her calmly. “I’ll meet you at the car.” And with that she walked away, giving me a slight smile and wink that made Edward glower even more.

“Have fun,” I told him with a smile. He grinned, his dour mood shifting a quickly as it came.

“I’ll try,” he said, amused. I chuckled. “And you,” he looked at me seriously. “try to stay safe?” Aw, this was part of his fear and worry. He was afraid for me even without him as the source of danger. Sweetie....

“I’ll stay in tonight,” I promised him. He relaxed at that. I sighed. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He smiled.

“That seems like a long time, doesn’t it?” I nodded. He paused for a moment, looking torn. “I promise, I’ll be there in the morning,” I smiled up at him.

“Parting is such sweet sorrow,” I quoted at him. He grinned and stood. As he left, he reached and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. I felt a burst of fondness, need, and confusion along with the fear I had anticipated. And then, he walked away.

Chapter Text

I didn’t sleep much.

I awoke long before sunrise with a gasp, covered in sweat and terrified. I just wrapped my arms around myself and stared at the wall, whispering to myself that it would never happen again. That I was safe. But then I would think of icy glares and red eyes and the old terror would flare again, blending with my new fears and have to figure out how to breathe again.

I’m not sure how long it took to convince myself that I was safe. Certainly a number of hours. Eventually, I managed to stop crying and make it to the bathroom to wash my face with trembling hands. I looked in the mirror and met my own bloodshot eyes.

“How are you going to get through this?” I asked myself in the mirror, voice cracking. I swallowed, and groaned when no answer came. Not that I expected one. I certainly wasn’t going back to sleep, so I started to prepare myself for the day.

How does one prepare for death?

Not that I was really expecting to die. Given my research, Edward’s protective streak, and my ability to heal, death wasn’t likely. Just in case, I armed myself with heirlooms I had inherited from my mother. If only she had been wearing them that day...

I called Beth once it was almost a reasonable time in the morning to be awake. She was delighted. She was coming home in a few days, and enjoying her touring of the city. Uncle Henrick had refrained from fires, thankfully, but Aunt Theresa had accidentally called way too many squirrels to Greenwich and Beth sent multiple photos of confused tourists and employees. I chuckled, relaxing and enjoying her stories for a hour or so. Eventually Beth went quiet.

“Today is the big date, isn’t it?” Beth asked. I swallowed.

“Yeah,” I admitted. My voice wasn’t the most confident, and I knew she could hear it. “He’s taking me somewhere out of town.” I tried to sound calm. Beth sighed.

“That boy does care about you,” Beth reminded me. “No way he doesn’t want to keep you safe.”

“He went hunting yesterday, just to be safer,” I said, remembering. “I know he cares,”

“What are you really afraid of?” Beth asked. I swallowed again.

“That he decides to leave me,” I whispered. I knew Beth could hear me anyway. “That his family…” I couldn’t even continue. Beth hummed.

“Just be honest,” she advised. “Tell him the truth.”

“And if he leaves?”

“Then when I get home, I help you kidnap him,” Beth said brightly. “We take him with us when we move and keep him locked in a spare bedroom and start raising pigs to feed him.” I choked. She hummed. “You’re right, goats would be easier.” I let out a choking laugh. “You think I’m joking, but I’ve already gotten the cage, just in case.” I laughed until I cried. I wiped the tears away, horrified, but relieved.

“Thank you, I needed that,” I said, much more normally. Beth hummed again.

“Go get your fancy pants on, make yourself a cup of tea, and write down what you need to tell him so you won’t forget,” Beth advised. “Like you’re preparing for Mr. Degrassi's class.” I chuckled.

“God, he loved presentations, didn’t he?” I remembered, amused.

“Index cards are in the second drawer in the desk,” Beth reminded me. I couldn’t help from smiling fondly. “Pack yourself a snack and a waterbottle, because he’s going to forget you need to eat and drink.” She paused. “And call me when you get home, or I will fly home tonight and track you down.” I swallowed, thinking of why I wouldn’t be able to call.

“I promise,” I told her seriously.

“I love you, Ama, good luck,” Beth told me fondly. I smiled, eyes a little wet.

“Love you too, Jelly Bean,” I replied, equally fond. I heard with click that meant she had disconnected and sighed. Then I took a deep breath and went to go find some index cards.

**********

Edward knocked on the door at precisely 7:20, the same time as the past few days. I grabbed my bag and made sure my index cards were securely in my pocket. I took a deep breath, slowly let it out, and opened the door.

It was relief to see his face. A lot of my fear just disappeared in his presence. He wouldn’t hurt me. He looked somber and serious, but also a bit nervous. When I looked to his car in the driveway, there was no shitty Volvo. Instead, there was an absolutely gorgeous piece of machinery. I laughed in glee and rushed to look closer. I heard him chuckle behind me. Good.

“Chevrolet Camaro,” I said, interested. I ran a hand over the hood. “1970?” I looked back at Edward, who nodded. “Much better than your other car.” I nodded in approval.

“Much worse gas milage,” he said flatly. I could tell it was poking fun at me, and I chuckled.

“But so much cooler,” I countered. “Newer cars are usually all plastic.” I made a discussed face. He chuckled, but opened the passenger’s side door for me. I slid in and set my bag at my feet on sneakers. He got in the driver’s side and turned over the engine, making it purr beautifully. I grinned and rubbed the dash and called her a good girl. When I looked over at Edward the look on his face reminded me of people watching a particularly small and fluffy kitten play with brand new jingly toy. I smiled at little softer and leaned back in the seat happily.

“Put your seat belt on,” he ordered. I raised an eyebrow, waiting. He frowned. I was going to do it. But I needed to make a point. I tilted my head and waited for him to figure it out. He huffed in frustration. “Please put your seat belt on.” He said carefully. I smiled brightly and put the seat belt on. He tried to hide his small eye roll as he pulled out of the driveway.

We drove through the town, mostly still asleep. It was a Saturday after all. He hit a highway going north and I watched the speedometer climb rapidly. I leaned back.

“Just remember that if we crash, I’m dead,” I said offhand. His hand tightened on the steering wheel and he slowed down a little. I smiled a bit at that. He obviously liked speed, but was making concessions for my safety. That boded well, actually.

“So where are we going?” I asked, relaxing into the seat. Edward looked over at me, and bit of an amused grin on his face.

“A trail.” Then he just looked back at the road, still with part of a grin. I gave my own part of an amused smile.

“We’re hiking?” I asked, interested, glad I’d worn a warmer jacket and sneakers. He was more amused.

“Don’t worry, it’s only about five miles,” he said, voice too bland to not be on purpose.

“Any reason of the five miles particularly?” I added, voice equally bland. His mouth quirked again.

“There’s a place I like to go when the weather is nice,” he gestured out the window at the thinning clouds. I wondered how he knew it would be a nice day today, when so many days here were overcast and rainy.

“Beth mentioned that the forecast had changed,” I allowed, looking up at the blue sky peaking through. The forecast had predicted mostly cloudy today a couple of days ago. Edward definitely looked like he was hiding something about that.

“So she know what you’re doing today?” he checked. I nodded. He relaxed so much I could see it.

“I’m required to call her tonight and check in,” I told him. "I set an alarm on my phone to remind me. Otherwise she’s said she’ll fly home tomorrow to find me.” Edward looked troubled at that. I gave him a bemused smile and added a little put upon sigh. “She worries.” Edward looked like he agreed.

“She should,” he said, confirming my suspicions. I swallowed down the fear. He was doubting himself. Self fulfilling prophecy, that.

“And she knows better than to do it through official channels,” I added. “Nothing to trace back to your family, like I told her. I don’t want to make trouble. She wished me luck.” Edward looked at me in shock, then grit his teeth.

“You’re worried about making trouble for my family, not your safety? She wished you luck?” He was bitterly sarcastic. He muttered something under his breath angrily and looked back at the road. I swallowed.

We rode in silence for a long time. There was no radio, no music. Just the sound of the road under the tires and the wind passing the car. I could see Edward’s lips occasionally move, but I heard nothing. He looked angry. Practically radiated it. Also, frustrated disappointment. How could I explain? He was just so angry. It scared me enough it dried up my voice.

When the road ended, there was a small wood sign that marked the trial head. The gravel sounded loud as it hit the undercarriage when we parked in the provided shoulder. He was still angry, but he came around to open my door for me. It was warmer than it usually was in rainy Forks, and I left my jacket in the car, leaving me in a long sleeved shirt. I stretched and took a deep breath of clean forest air. The door slammed, showing his anger. Which he obviously did on purpose. When I turned to look at him, he was facing the forest, face unreadable.

“This way,” he instructed, glancing over his shoulder at me. His eyes were still annoyed.

“No trial?” I asked as I caught up.

“I said that we were going to the trail, not that we were taking it,” he said, almost letting himself be amused. I frowned. He did look amused then.

“I won’t let you get lost,” he informed me. Now his smile was mocking. He was wearing a short sleeved white button down, after taking off his sweater, which I hadn’t noticed. He was now purposely, and slowly, unbuttoning a few buttons of said shirt. He was obviously waiting for my reaction. My heart pounded a little excitedly, and he smirked, the asshole. I looked him dead in the eyes and unbuttoned the top few buttons on my top. Stupid sexy asshole got wide eyed and licked his lips quickly before looking away. You deserved it. Be a tease, get teased. Besides, the girls needed to breathe.

He led the way into the forest, filled with underbrush. However, he had obviously come this way before, or someone had. There had obviously been a little work done to clear some of the underbrush for an approximation of a path. and recently.

The path was mostly straight and had a very mild incline. When his path took us over fallen logs, large roots, and stony patches, he would help me over by the elbow. My heart pounded each time, and he obviously heard it. There was no skin contact, so I couldn’t feel what he was feeling. But I could guess. He didn’t have to help me that often, or touch me that long, if he wasn’t doing it on purpose. We walked in silence for about a half mile when I huffed and stopped. He turned to me in surprise, face concerned.

“I’ve nearly slipped on moss three times, and all we are doing is walking,” I told him flatly. “You don’t seem to want to talk about anything until we get there, and I don’t particularly want to walk another four plus miles in silence just to have blisters to show for it.” I pouted. He burst out laughing. I fought a grin. “You’re strong and fast and durable.” He nodded, still calming down, but unsure where this was going. “Piggy back ride, please?” I pouted, tilted my head and and fluttered my eyelashes in a dramatically false fashion that made him chuckle again.

“As you wish,” he said, turning around and crouching down. I grinned and hopped on. He grabbed my legs and stood up as I wrapped my arms around his neck and held on. He wasn’t bothered. I tucked my head into the back and side of he neck and breathed in deeply. He smelled... alluring. Like a predator would to lure in prey. Also a bit like sandalwood cologne. I smiled into his neck.

“Try to keep it under a hundred miles an hour,” I requested. He huffed, partially in amusement, partially disappointment. “I actually did my hair this morning.” He chuckled at that and started walking, not even noticing my weight. He was colder, but not too bad really. just strong and… um… well proportioned. I bet the asshole could hear the uptick in my heart beat and everything. Not fair.

“Hold on tight, spider monkey,” he instructed. I grunted in indignation and his laugh trailed behind us as we sped away. Everything was a blur for a few minutes. There were quite a few G forces, but he was careful. I barely had any leaves or branches touch me as we flew past. I was exhilarating actually. I knew I was grinning into his neck and I didn’t care. It was better than a roller coaster.

When he slowed and came to a stop I lifted my head. There was a glow in the trees ahead, yellow and soft after the darkness of the dense forest. He knelt and set me down. I nearly stumbled and he caught me easily, steading me. I grinned at him. He grinned back and tucked a strand of loose hair behind my ear.

“Tell me we can do that again,” I begged. He grinned even brighter.

“We have to get back to the car somehow,” he pointed out and I clapped with joy. This was going to be fun. I turned and looked back at the glow in the trees ahead, then back at him curiously. He nodded, looking eager about this too. I started walking towards the warm glow, and he followed.

Through the edge of the undergrowth was a clearing. I could hear the bubbling of a stream nearby as I quickly left the darkness of the dense forest. The brightness of the sun blinded me for a moment. As my vision cleared, I could see the violets, and corn lilies, and larkspur. In the warmth of the sun, the grass and wildflowers glowed ethereally. The meadow was perfectly round, suspiciously so, and I half expected to find a fairy ring in the grass as I drank in this peaceful, gorgeous, and erie spot of paradise.

After long moments soaking up the sun, I turned with a grin to share it with Edward.

Under the dense foliage at the very edge of the meadow, Edward watched me. His eyes was bright in the semi darkness, and cautious. I held out a hand to him, even though he was many yards away. He still hesitated. I frowned. I needed him with me. I beckoned him forward.

I could see him gather his courage. See him slowly and purposefully unbutton his shirt. See him take an deep unnecessary breath to settle his nerves.

He stepped into the sunlight.

Chapter Text

I burst out laughing.

He froze, then frowned. I covered my mouth and tried to stop laughing, but he just looked so very serious and so very shiny. So very shiny. He huffed and walked over to join me. I had to sit down when I saw how annoyed he was. I tried very hard to stop laughing. He crossed his arms, very disgruntled.

“Did you bathe in craft herpes?” I asked, when I could talk without giggling again. He did not look impressed. “Why does the Apex predator look like unicorn sparkles threw up on him?” I wiped my eyes of the tears of laughter. He sat down next to me, and shook his head.

“I’m very dangerous,” he grunted. I nodded, but couldn’t stop smiling in amusement. He was not so amused.

“Oh, I’m aware,” I said with a smile. “But I don’t know why you were afraid to show my your skin in the sun.” I paused. “Unless you were afraid of me making fun of you.” I frowned. “In which case I’m sorry.” I looked him over. “You are very pretty. But how you look is not scary.” He growled. “I’m sure you’re very scary.” He stopped growling. “But looking at you is mostly just like, look, attractive humanoid. Now with bonus shinies.” He leaned back into the grass, looking very put upon. I chuckled again. He sat up faster than my eyes could follow.

“You think I’m attractive?” he asked, raising his eyebrow, teasing. I huffed and rolled my eyes. He chuckled. I reached out and paused, centimeters from his arm. I looked up into his eyes, the question obvious in mine. He nodded, the smile lingering on his lips. I ran my fingertips down his bare forearm. I shivered at the sensation racing through me. It was fire in my veins. Then there was what he was feeling.

He adored me.

I smiled and let out a slow easy breath. He was also confused and still a little afraid, but no where near as much. It occurred to me that it wasn’t fair to know what he was feeling and not tell him I could. But, he never told people he could read their minds. What if he stopped touching me? I would have to think about it.

“You can’t imagine how that feels,” Edward said, voice reverent. I smiled softly up at him. I traced the veins in his arm, loving the sparks that raced through me in the calm.

“Like fire racing through your veins,” I said quietly. “Liquid fire that warms every atom of you with pure joy.” He twitched, but didn’t pull his arm away. Instead, he tucked another loose strand of hair behind my ear with his free hand.

We sat together in the silence. I brought my other hand up and started running my fingers slowly down his arm and hand. Then I held his hand in both of mine, looking at his smooth beautiful fingers. I basked in his presence and touch, hoping this wouldn’t be the last time.

“The first time I met your eyes, I was lost,” I said, breaking the silence. He flipped his hand to intertwine his fingers with mine. I took a deep breath.

“They call it Madness of the Heart,” I explained. “It happens with the fey, from time to time.” I swallowed nervously. “Once you have looked into their eyes, you need them forever. When they are gone, you crave their presence like a drug. You can’t leave them alone. They are essential to your life from that moment on.” Edward, by the end of my little speech, was completely still. Too still to pass for human. He was angry and betrayed. I swallowed my fear.

“And with every day was are apart, I crave you,” I added, still not looking up. I was afraid to see. He twitched, and was surprised, and hopeful, maybe? “There is no cure for me. And every day we are apart, it pains me. The longer we are separated, the more I need you with me.” I swallowed. He was a riot of emotions, none lasting long enough for me to pin down.

“After all, Whoever loved, if not at first sight?” I sighed. He was quiet for a long moment, not making a sound. Inside, his feelings raced from relief, to anger, to hope, to fear, to confusion, to fondness, to a blankness that scared me. Eventually, he settled. He was calmer, and he was worried and relieved, but mostly, so very hopeful. He squeezed my hand gently. I shivered and could feel his flash of concern. He tucked another strand of hair away in what was becoming a practiced gesture. Then he cupped the side of my face and had me look at him.

His eyes were gold. Warm and tender and he felt so adoring and loving that I gasped at how strong it was. How devoted it was. How devoted he was. And then his mood went dark.

“You don’t know the danger,” he said, pulling his hand free. I was bereft for a moment, then recovered. He wouldn’t look at me. I took a deep breath and pulled off my long sleeved shirt, revealing the cami underneath. Then I waited for him to look.

It didn’t take long. I couldn’t track his movements and he was suddenly tracing the faded bite marks with gentle, hesitant fingers. They would be nearly invisible to a human. He was horrified, awed, and so incredibly reverent. His fingers were nearly worshipful as they traced some of the remnants of my childhood. Some of the proof that I was not as breakable as I seemed.

“I’m not sure how many days and weeks they had me,” I whispered, knowing he would hear. “They bit and drank and laughed.” He flinched. “I’m immune to the venom, you see, and I’m fairy enough to heal.” I chuckled. “And apparently, delicious.” Edward shuddered and wrapped a hand around my arm tight enough that without what healing factor I had, there would have been a bruise.

“Never,” he swore. “I swear, I would never. No one will ever hurt you.” I swallowed, but nodded.

“You see,” I said, putting my other hand over his where he held me. So protective and afraid. “My eyes are open. I know the risk. I just want to be with you and need you more than I am afraid.” I swallowed and paused. “I had a nightmare last night about it, thought about it, talked to the most important person in my life about it, and still got in your car.” I smiled up at him. His face was filled with wonder. “I choose you.”

He was quiet for long moments. Hope bloomed again, along with that fierce devotion.

“And so the lion fell in love with the lamb,” he said, a bittersweet smile on his face as the worry and fear crept in again. I swallowed, and tried to remember how to breathe.

“Well, then maybe the lion will lay down with the lamb and have a bit of a cuddle?” I suggested. He was genuinely amused at that and laughed. He looked younger. Felt younger, when he laughed. When he laughed it was like the sun coming out from a dark cloud. He flopped down next to me, or whatever the graceful equivalent of that concept would be that little graceful bastard. He was pressed up against my side slightly as he leant on one elbow. He caressed my hair softly. I leaned in and he rolled, pulling my head onto his chest as he settled onto his back.

The smell of violets and crushed wildflowers permeated the air around our little safe cocoon of nature. I could still hear the sound of running water somewhere close by. I could mostly hear Edward’s unnecessary breaths, there only to smell me. And Edward’s own smell. The smell of a predator. The smell that occasionally haunted my nightmares. The smell of my fated heartmate.

Lying there I tried to come to terms with that. The fear and the hope. The past and the future. The longer I lay on his chest, the more differences I could smell in his scent, and I calmed. Edward, too, was going through some emotional turmoil. He was also pensive and so very afraid. And through it all guilt and self loathing. The poor man was a mess. But he absolutely adored me. I let out a slow breath and let myself bask in that knowledge. He… well… I hesitated to say it. But my hesitation didn’t make it any less true.

He loved me.

I’m not sure how many hours we lay together. Occasionally, one of us would quietly start talking about something trivial or passably interesting, only for the topic to fade away naturally into silence again. We talked of wildflowers, and Beth’s book deal, and Beethoven, and 70’s feminism. He was a great conversational partner but neither of us were focused on the conversation. We were simply existing together. The conversation was just an excuse to hear each other’s voices and connect in yet another way.

The sun started to go down and the air got colder. I shivered in a particularly stiff breeze and Edward was concerned, disturbing how peaceful and adoring he felt. He released me, removing his arm from around me and helped me sit up. I slid my long sleeved shirt back on. He smoothed his hands down my arms, a small peaceful smile on his lips. My hand went up slowly and stroked the side of his face. He turned into it, eyes closing slightly like a pleased kitty. He was lighting up inside, bubbling with happiness and pleasure at the touch. I stroked down his face, feeling the curves of his jaw with my fingertips. There was still a riot of emotion welling up within him, but every where I touched brought him joy.

My fingertips traced his lips and my eyes followed the movement. They were cold, of course, but softer than I imagined. I imagined kissing them and licked my lips with the tip of my tongue. He gasped, lips parting and I could feel his breath on my hand. He grasped my hand gently in his, and stopped it. I looked up into his eyes. they were inches from mine. I hadn’t realized we were so close. His eyes were hungry. He was hungry. Hungry in a way that made my stomach clench in need and feel the answering clench of need in him. I licked my lips at the thought of doing something about that, and his eyes tracked the movement.

I could feel the moment that he got control of himself. He let out a slow breath and closed his eyes. Then he brought my hand and pressed it carefully to his closed lips, making the most intense eye contact I can remember. I blinked, breaking the tension. He pulled me into his arms, wrapping himself around me and taking a deep breath with his face pressed into my hair. This pleased him greatly. And, surprisingly, now that I thought about it, he wasn’t hungry in the vampire way about it. Just in the more human way with made me amused and a little bit excited.

“We should head back before it gets any colder,” Edward said quietly, breaking the silence.

“I’d be happy to ride the rollercoaster again!” I said. “Remind me to get goggles so I don’t have to hide my eyes next time. Edward laughed at that and quickly maneuvered my body around until I was clinging tightly to his back and neck again.

“I might have a pair lying around,” he said, very amused. I clung to his neck and pressed my face into it. Now that I had time to adjust to his scent, it didn’t smell like… them. It was all Edward.

And then we were flying. I couldn’t help but peek as the forest blurred past us, but the debris and wind made me stop pretty fast. It was still great fun, even if my eyes watered. It was over too soon and he was slowing to a stop. I let out a whoop of joy as he made a last bound down from a high point. He was so happy and carefree when we stopped by the car. I slid down, and steadied myself for a moment as I got my sea legs again. He turned on the spot and his arm slid around my waist. I looked up into his eyes. They were dark and hungry. I didn’t need to be touching him to know this was the human kind of hungry. His eyes searched mine.

“I want to try something,” Edward whispered, face inches from mine. I licked my lips again, nervously. His eyes flickered to track the movement, before meeting mine questioningly.

“If you don’t kiss me soon, I’m going to start begging,” I whispered back. He was smiling as he leaned in.

You know that scene in the Princess Bride, where the author describes the kiss as one of the top kisses to ever have happened in the history of everything because True love? This wasn’t quite that. It took me about a second to realize that if Edward had ever done this before, it wasn’t recently, and it wasn’t often. I kissed slowly, showing him what to do, and he caught on in the way that only someone whose mind works as fast as his does could. But still, if he wasn’t a virgin, I’ll eat my metaphorical hat.

Still, what made it perfect wasn’t the technique, which was lacking, or the setting, which was a ditch at the side of the road. It was the utter devotion, love, and joy that radiated from Edward. The fact that I knew that he felt privilege to be doing this. That he was nervous and tentative, but overall absolutely joyous to be kissing me. The fire of our bond raced hotter than ever and fed on each kiss.

It was a flame of molten passion that grew and grew. It was consuming and before I knew it, I was pressed against him hotly, my hands tangling in his hair. If I could get my legs to work, they would be wrapped around him. Instead, I made some sort of sound into the kiss. He was startled and pulled back. I blinked a few times, waiting for my brain to catch up. He was concerned as he looked down at me. I let out a low breath and gathered as many of my wits as I could muster.

“In case you were wondering, that was a happy goodtime fun noise,” I informed him. He bit his lip, then burst out laughing, pulling me up into his his arms and spinning us both around a few times. I started laughing with him, giddy with the feeling of joy running through us both. When he set me down I nearly stumbled. He stroked a thumb along my jaw with a little pleased girn on his face, too self satisfied for his own good.

“I’ll be sure to remember that, in the future,” he teased. I rolled my eyes.

“Don’t worry, we’ll figure out your happy goodtime fun noises too,” I comforted him. “Just takes practice.” He grinned wider. “Perhaps our next practice session to be in a more romantic spot than a ditch?” He looked down, and frowned. I laughed. He rolled his own eyes at me and helped me out of the ditch. I shivered again in the cold.

“Let’s get you warm, before you turn into ice,” Edward teased, but sounded worried underneath. I agreed and we got into the car.

Before we sped off, I held my hand out for him to take. He hesitated, but we drove back, holding hands.

Chapter Text

“Did you know that I can recover from nearly any injury that that isn’t iron related?” I said as Edward raced his way back to town. He glanced over at me, the confusion and frustration reaching me by way of our clasped hands.

“Good to know,” he said, voice revealing a little bit of his frustration in the vaguely sarcastic remark. I watched the speedometer creep higher.

“So if we hit a tree while your carrying me and we fall 100 feet and I bash my skull in, and my heart stops and everything. I’ll be right as rain as if it never happened, A tree goes through me, that’s a non-permanent ow.” I explained. He nodded, still confused. I could feel his frustration mounting, so I took pity on him. “And with my Iron allergy, this car crashes, the iron hits me, I’m dead for real.” The speedometer slowly went down to a more reasonable level. Still fast. I let it go and turned on the music with my free hand. Debussy filled the car. Edward was pleased. La Mer was pretty, if old.

“This the type of music you like?” I asked, gesturing vaguely at the car stereo. Edward smiled slightly.

“I realize it’s a little before your time…” he began, and I huffed, interrupting him.

“OK, Grandpa, how old are you then?” I asked pointedly. “I told you I was born in 1939. How much are you robbing the cradle?” He grimaced.

“I was born in Chicago in 1901.” He paused, obviously for dramatic effect. I nodded, accepting that. He was disappointed in my lack of reaction. "Carlisle found me in the hospital during the summer of 1918, dying of Spanish influenza.”

Probably a poor scared kid then. Spanish flu is no joke. It infected a third or more of the world, and killed a lot of people. My heart clenched to think he could have been one of them. This affection towards him had grown a lot today. I wasn’t sure I was ready to say love, but he was growing on me.

“I don’t remember it very well.” That would make sense. “It was a long time ago and human memories fade.” I could feel his sadness. The type that was well worn and comfortable. The sort of sadness that you had lived with for so long it was now a part of you. The kind I felt for my own mother.

“I remember how it felt when Carlisle saved me,” he said, interrupting the introspection. Now there was an echo of fear and pain. “It is not an easy thing, to become a vampire.” I nodded.

“The venom,” I agreed. His face was tight. “Like every atom is on fire and dying and screaming.” He looked at me sharply. I sighed. “The venom doesn’t turn me, yes. But it still hurts.” Edward squeezed my hand slightly. I squeezed his back.

“Then you can imagine.” He didn’t sound happy about it. he felt horrified, actually.

“Your parents?” I asked, distracting him. He accepted the distraction with ease.

“They had already died of the disease,” he explained. “That’s why he chose me. I was alone, and going to die. With the chaos of the pandemic, no one even noticed.”

He was lost in his memories for a moment. There was love, and sadness, and flashes of familial love as the music changed to a Ravel piano piece that I couldn’t remember the name of. But I was reminded of something.

“So if you barely remember your human life, why is your musical taste from the early 1900’s?” I asked. “You would have been maybe 4 years old when La Mer was composed? Plus, not human before Debusy died?” I raised an eyebrow. Edward paused, then chuckled.

“Actually, Esme is the one who introduced me to Debusy and Impressionism,” Edward admitted, a little chagrined. I smiled. “Carlise found her in the hospital morgue after she fell from a cliff. Somehow, her heart was still beating.” He paused. “She became a mother to me. Carlisle acted out of loneliness, but only did this to people who had no other choice.”

“Who was next?”

“Rosalie.” He had to turn on the headlights as we got closer to town. “I didn’t realize until much later that he meant her to be what Esme is to him. He was always careful with his thoughts around me.” Que eyerolls on both our parts.

“Family trying to set you up, huh?” I commiserated. He chuckled again.

“She was never more than a sister to me.” he admitted. “Two years later she found Emmett. She was hunting and found him being attacked by a bear. She carried him back more than a hundred miles because she was afraid to turn him herself. Carlisle’s control is absolute. It must have been a difficult journey for her.” His mood was dark at the thought.

“She made it, and so did he,” I reminded him, pulling him back. He smiled.

“Yes,” he agreed. “They’ve been together ever since. Sometimes they live separately as a married couple. But the younger we pretend to be, the longer we can stay in one place. I suppose we’ll have to go to their wedding soon.” He sighed. “Again.” I giggled at his fond dismay.

“Who came next?” I asked, interested.

“Alice and Jasper just showed up one day,” he informed me. “They are rare, even for our kind. They both independently decided not to feed from humans. Jasper belonged to a very different kind of coven. He became depressed, and left them. Alice found him. Like me, she has gifts.”

“A seer,” I reminded him. He nodded.

“She sees glimpses of the future, knows things that will be,” he added, confirming. “But the future isn’t set in stone.” His mouth was grim, and he was afraid. I wondered what she had seen that scared him so much. I should do something about that.

“So she saw you?” I prompted. He focused.

“She saw Jasper first,” he corrected. “Knew he was looking for her before he even knew it. She’s most sensitive to non-humans. She can sense when another of our kind is coming near and warn us.” I sat up.

“Really?” I was interested, for sure. “That’s useful, Could possibly prevent a lot of problems.” He nodded.

“We prevent any threats. But there aren’t many of us, and most others are nomads,” he told me. “There is one other coven like us up in Alaska that we used to live with, but if too many of us live together, it becomes more noticeable.”

We parked at my house and got out. I could tell that Edward wanted to open my door for me, put I had already beaten him to the punch. He waited for me at the door, giving the security cameras a dark look. I chuckled.

“Have something against cameras?” I asked, amused.

“They kept me from seeing what was inside,” he said distractedly. I paused, then turned to him.

“How often to you try to visit?” I asked evenly, keeping my voice steady as I opened the door. Edward stepped inside, looking around with rapt attention.

“Oh, I visit all the time,” he explained. “What else is there to do at night?” I got a chill from that. He had stalked me.

“What indeed?” I said, trying to sound amused. He nodded.

“I tried watching you sleep once, but then you put the curtains up and the cameras,” he explained. I took a deep breath and let it out.

“Edward, do you know what stalking is?” I asked, keeping me voice calm with a steel will. He must have caught something in my tone, as he turned to me.

“I wasn’t going to hurt you,” he said quickly. “I would never hurt you.” He seemed brocken up at the thought.

“Stalking is following or spying on someone without their knowledge and consent.” I paused. “Even if there is never any violence, it can make the victim confused, frustrated, isolated, helpless, depressed, hypervigilant, insecure, suspicious and more.” He frowned and his eyes were moving rapidly. I felt betrayed. “I’ve been having nightmares for weeks about being watched and followed.” He looked stricken. “I’ve been having trouble sleeping, and am paranoid about security. You made me feel unsafe in my own home.” He fell to his knees.

“I am so sorry,” he told me. He reached out to me and stopped shy of touching. “You fascinate me. Every time I’m away from you I am drawn to you more. It is this... compulsion. I cannot be away from you for long before I start to need to be back with you.” He looked distraught. “I never meant to cause you pain or hurt you in any way.” I swallowed and closed my eyes.

I remembered those days, when I needed to be with him. Those days when his absence hurt me. Then I imagined a lack of impulse control and an obsessive personality combined with frustrated curiosity. I could see how he might have found it reasonable. But still. I opened my eyes. He looked distraught and guilty.

“If you feel the need to be near me, you need to knock on me door and ask to come in,” I ordered. He nodded immediately. “You can’t watch me when I don’t know you’re there. You are hurting me when you do that.” He swiftly apologized again. “Never again.”

“I promise, never again,” he swore. I closed my eyes again and took a deep breath. I let it out as a long sigh. When I opened by my eyes, I held out my hand to Edward where he knelt in supplication. He was up and wrapping me in his arms. He tucked his face into my neck and breathed in deep.

“I’m sorry. Please don’t leave,” he whispered. His grip was tight enough to nearly bruise. I gripped him back. Asshole. My creepy asshole. I stroked the back of his head.

He was so afraid. Also I could feel his massive guilt and near devastation. He was in so much turmoil and pain and fear that I gasped at the strength of his emotions. I let out a small tear and stroked his head again.

“I’m not leaving you,” I said firmly. “I forgive you, Edward.” He shuddered. We stayed there for long minutes, breathing each other in. Eventually, my stomach growled. Edward pulled away. I chuckled.

“Need a human minute?” Edward asked, breaking the mood. I chuckled and nodded.

“I’ll just heat up some chilli,” I said, pulling away. Edward followed me into the kitchen and watched me pull out a cold portion and stick it in the microwave on low. As it heated it, I reached for him and he tucked me into his arms again. I could feel his joy at being able to do so. I couldn’t bring myself to get the toppings, and leave him. Instead, I leaned into him.

I was still processing the stalking thing. He had made me paranoid. Given me nightmares. Hurt me. But then again, I knew that we were under the spell of True Love. If I didn’t know why I was obsessed with him, would I have followed him? Been insatiably curious about him, to the point of near madness? It had felt like madness. Those days without him. It made it still hurt, but much more forgivable. especially with how devastated he had been to find out he had caused me harm.

The microwave dinged and Edward let me go. I stirred it and put it in for a little more before gathering cheese, gauc, chips, and sour cream for the top. By the time I got it all on the table the chilli was ready and I got it out of the little oven. I sat down with it with a sigh. I had forgotten to eat all day. Even with Beth reminding me to pack snacks and eat.

Edward handed me a spoon before I realized I had forgotten one and I dished up and dug in. I dripped a little bit of sour cream on my top and decided not to care. He needed to remember I wasn’t perfect. I was a bit hesitant about how strong his devotion and awe of me was. Would he be disappointed when he found out I wasn’t perfect? I may have made a bit more of a mess than usual, but Edward watched it with fondness. He even helped me clean the table afterwards. By which I mean I was busy putting food away and turned around to find all the detritus on the table gone. Silent sneaky little bastard man. Edward tried and failed to hide his little cheeky smile at my surprise.

“What now?” he asked. I thought for a moment, considering. I didn’t want him to leave.

“How about a tour?” I suggested. He nodded eagerly.

“Let’s start with the basement,” I said, walking over to the basement door excitedly. “It’s my favorite room in the house,” Edward looked intrigued by that and followed me eagerly.

Delightfully fragrant air wafted up as I opened the door. The downstairs had already transitioned to night mode on its automatic timer. During the day, it was filled with sun lamps. Now though, the fairy lights that covered the ceiling gave the room a soft glow. All around the toom’s border was a wall of greenery. Each section had a little hand painted sign say what type of herb grew there. There was lavender, and sage, and heather, and more scattered around the room. The room smelled green and fresh and wonderful.

In the center of the room was a pile of bean bags, pillows, and fluffy blankets. The nest, as we called it, was the most peaceful place in the house. Beth and I would read down here, or meditate. It was healing place.

“Beautiful,” Edward breathed, fingers tracing the leaves of the Basil plants. I agreed. This was our little oasis. He breathed in deeply. “Esme would love this.” I smiled.

“I’ll have to invite her over sometime,” I told him fondly. He obviously loved his adoptive mother.

“Esme is going to love you,” he promised. He had made his way over to my side again and slipped an arm around me. I tucked me head into his chest. I wasn’t so sure about that, but if Edward wanted it so badly, that was a purely good thing. We stayed there for a few minutes. It was calm, peaceful and the perfect temperature. Eventually, I yawned. I hadn’t been getting the best sleep recently.

“Bed?” Edward suggested. “You said you’ve been having nightmares.” He felt guilty about that. I hummed. He let me go and I took his hand to lead him upstairs.

“There are two offices downstairs for Beth and for me,” I said, pointing them out as we went around to the upstairs. “Feel free to investigate the one at the back of the house while I’m asleep, its mine. Please leave Beth’s alone, as well as her bedroom, because they are not yours.” I paused at the bottom of the steps. “If you want to stay.” Edward stepped up and pressed closer to put his mouth even with my ear.

“I always want to stay with you,” Edward said quietly. I smiled and leaned back to press a kiss to his cheek. He was delighted. I took him up the rest of the stairs and pointed out Beth’s room.

I tried to view my room through new eyes as I walked inside. What would Edward see? My eyes went to the pile of laundry piled on the chair in the corner, yet to be put away. It was quite high. There were a couple of shirts on the floor right next to the hamper, to my chagrin. And of, course, my beautiful queen sized bed was a mess of soft purple and black blankets and pillows. The duvet was partially on the floor. The desk in the corner, reserved for school work, was mostly organized, but had a few scattered drawings of his face on them, to my embarrassment. The all important chest was closed and locked. I at least knew better than that.

“I’m going to guess you like blue,” Edward told me as he sat on the chair at the desk. I looked around again. Blue blankets. Blue curtains. Blue clothes. Blue stationary. He was smirking. Asshole. I rolled my eyes.

“Yes, Jerkface, its my favorite color,” I admitted. He burst out laughing at my annoyance. I picked up and tossed the shirts into the hamper. He was more amused at that. I grabbed my pajamas off the bed. He wasn’t going to get sexy pajamas for being an asshole. Even if if was somehow endearing. In fact…

“I’m going to go shower off the day, Eddie Boy,” I told him. He looked interested at that. “Feel free to listen and imagine what I look like naked and wet.” I pulled my sweater off and dropped it in the hamper, then made eye contact. His eyes went dark and followed me out of the room, eyes flickering down my form.

I called Beth for less than a minute so she knew I wasn’t dead. Then I dithered about peeing where he could hear, and decided I didn’t give a crap. Then I stripped and started the water. I washed up with care. While I was pretty sure he was a virgin, I also didn’t know how far he wanted to take it tonight. Or how far I wanted to take it tonight for that matter. But it was only polite to not smell bad in close company to people with enhanced senses.

“Do you have trash on your shirt?” Edward asked, confused. I looked down.

“This is Marjory the Trash Heap,” I said, offended. “She sees all and knows all.” He looked adorable confused. I chuckled. “Its from an 80’s children’s TV show.” He still looked confused, just not as confused. I shrugged and looked at the bed. He had made the bed.

“I see you tidied,” I said, amused. I slipped in the side closest to the door. Edward stood there awkwardly for a moment. I pulled down his side of the bed and patted it. He nearly blurred getting over and starting to get in. He got in carefully, shoes neatly deposited next to the bed.

He stayed over on the other side of the bed, tense. I turned on my side and slid a hand slowly across his stomach and slid myself over so that I was pressed against him. He relaxed into me and slid a cold arm around me. I was glad for the multiple blankets. He was already starting to warm up. He leant forward slightly and took a deep breath into my hair. Which I was extra glad I hadn’t washed, weirdly.

“Would this be an awkward time to ask you to kiss me until I can’t remember which is the right way up,” I asked quietly. His arm pulled me closer, and then I was pressed back into the bed with him half on top of me.

Above me, he eyed me hungrily. His golden eyes glittered in the fairy lights along my ceiling. His eye roved my face and settled on my lips. One hand gripped my hip and and I licked my lips.

Then he was kissing me. It was still more passion than skill. But the passion was nearly overwhelming. He was everywhere in me. The flames licked through me and everything was Edward. Time ceased to matter and I only came to myself when he pulled away just enough to let me breathe and realized just how overwhelmed he was too. We were both panting a little bit. He leaned in and set his forehead on my clavicle and stopped breathing. He was a riot of want, confusion, and guilt.

We didn’t say anything. He just waited until my breathing had calmed down and my heart slowed to press a reverent kiss to my forehead. I sighed happily. He slid over to the side and down and rest his head on my chest, listening to my heart. And as Edward’s breathing slowly matched mine, I drifted off to sleep.

Chapter Text

I woke up and smelled Edward. First I processed that I was so in tune to what Edward smelt like that I could recognized it half asleep. Second I realized that that meant Edward was somewhere nearby. Third I realized that the bed next to me was occupied. I blinked open my eyes and looked for him.

In the twinkle of the fairy lights, Edward’s face glowed. His soft smile as I slowly met his eyes was just as bright. He looked heartbreakingly beautiful. In the lights, he was my Angel, shining through the darkness.

“Hey Sweetheart,” I said sleepily. He grinned and leaned down to kiss me. I hummed happily into it before he pulled back.

“Morning Beautiful,” he murmured back.

“Flatterer,” I accused, stretching. “I know for a fact my hair’s a mess and I drooled.” He laughed. It was a joyous sound and I felt grateful every time I heard it. I grunted as my back cracked pleasantly. Edward’s eyes danced as I met them. “Let me go brush the taste of death out of my mouth, and we can go get me some coffee.”

Edward was amused to see me get out of bed and stagger to the bathroom to brush my teeth. He wanted to watch, but I shut the door on him. I went downstairs and started the machine, waiting for coffee. Delicious coffee. Edward interrupted my contemplation of the coffee pot by chuckling. I turned to glare, which made him laugh harder.

“No laughing at me before coffee,” I grumbled. “You should be distracting me from the lack of coffee.” Edward was still amused, but acquiesced.

“How should I distract you?” he asked, leaning on the counter. I blinked, thinking.

“Vampire’s having gifts?” I offered. Edward smiled and nodded, accepting the topic.

“Carlisle theorized that our strongest human traits are brought over into the next life, like our minds, senses. The gifts are just an extension of that. I must have been sensitive to the thoughts of those around me. Alice must have had some precognition.”

“And the others?”

“Carlisle brought his compassion, Esme her passion and love. Emmett brought his strength. Rosalie her… tenacity.” He flinched slightly. “Jasper is very interesting. He was very charismatic in life, and able to influence others. Now, he can manipulate the emotions of those around him. Calm down a room of people, for example. It is a very subtle gift.”

I considered that for a moment, then decided I was not awake enough for that, and gave up.

“Do you have anything else you want me to talk about?” Edward asked, amused.

“Kissing,” I told him. He grinned.

“Are we talking or doing?” he said, stepping closer, hand running down my arm. I chuckled and leaned up to kiss his cheek.

“I am not awake enough for shenanigans,” I informed him. “You like kisses? You like more than kisses?” Edward paused.

“Kisses are very good,” Edward admitted, not moving away. “I don’t think more would be a good idea.” I tilted my head. “There are certain.... desires. Ones that can cause me to lose control. I would hurt you.” I nodded, expecting that.

“I have ideas that could help with that,” I said, filling my mug and inhaling deeply. I sighed happily and took a sip. And flinched at the heat. Then took another sip anyway.

“Ideas?” he asked, interested. I nodded, taking another sip. He raised his eyebrows. I took another sip. He frowned. I smiled. He scowled.

“What are you thinking?” he asked, annoyed. I chuckled, then took another sip.

“There are some magical means of protection that can be taken in the short term to help with that,” I told him. “Nothing permanent.” I assured him. “But a few hours, it would provide a little more protection for me from... accidents. And then, I do heal.” He had waved that away.

“You can protect yourself temporarily?” he asked. I nodded. He looked interested at the prospect.

“Not a total fix, but you wouldn’t need to be quite as careful,” I said, confirming it for him. He looked excited and fascinated at the thought. I smiled and sipped my coffee while Edward stayed lost in thought. As I started my second cup, Edward looked up.

“So what’s for breakfast?” he asked, getting back to the conversation from whatever naughty corner of his brain he had gotten lost in. I took another sip of coffee.

“I don’t know, what are you going to cook?” I asked. He froze, and looked confused. He looked around the kitchen, lost. I burst out laughing. He pouted when he realized.

I grabbed a premade sandwich from earlier and stuck it in the microwave.

“Don’t worry Eddie boy, I can feed myself,” I told him.

“As long as you use the microwave,” Edward teased. I grinned and stuck my tongue out at him. He grinned back.

“I’m just lazy,” I told him. “I can cook, but Beth made the sandwiches and chilli, so I don’t have to.” Edward was amused.

“So you’re opportunistic about food?” Edward asked. I nodded.

“Except for salad,” I told him. “Or really anything green and leafy. Its disgusting.” I wrinkled my nose at the thought. Edward looked more amused by that. He tucked a loose strand of my messy hair behind my ear and I could feel how much he loved me. It made me feel all gooey and warm inside. I smiled up at him, just as fond.

God, I was in love with this ridiculous asshole, wasn’t I?

I ate my sandwich. It was really good actually. Bacon and cheese and some sort of spice blend that Beth was a genius at. Edward watched me like I was solving world hunger. If he hadn’t just had a little strop about not being able to read my mind, I’d think he thought I was perfect or something. It helped that I knew I was wearing a worn tee shirt and stained yoga pants and my hair was a mess. If he still thought the sun shined out of my ass, that was love, or infatuation at least. Honeymoon stage engaged. Especially since I found his strop endearing, God help me.

“What’d we have on today?” I asked, clearing up and grabbing a third cup of coffee under Edward’s disapproving gaze.

“How about meeting my family?” he suggested after a long moment. I bit my lip. He looked concerned.

“Are you afraid now?” he asked. I sighed.

“A bit,” I confessed. He looked victorious. Bastard. “What if they don’t like me?” He rolled his eyes.

“They already know all about you,” Edward said. “We don’t have secrets. We can’t, what with Alice seeing the future and my mind reading, plus Jasper’s senses.” I nodded in understanding. I had noticed that he had changed clothes. I just hadn’t noticed till the second cup of coffee. And I wasn’t telling him that. “They took bets you know.” I frowned. “Alice saw you surviving, but they bet against her.” I hummed.

“Which ones bet against you?” I asked.

“Emmett and Rosalie,” he admitted. “Jasper was... discouraged for participating, but would have done so if not for Alice.”

“She see me coming?” I asked curiously. Seers sometimes got weird about their visions of me. I know that being related to Grandfather sometimes affected them.

“Something like that,” he agreed, just as vaguely. Given his expression, there was more to that. I moved on.

“OK,” I said, then drained my coffee. “I’m going to go get ready.” I started walking upstairs, and Edward followed. I turned to look at him. “Edward, I am going to go upstairs and get naked. You do not get to watch.” He raised his eyebrow. I raised one back.

“Yet?” he added. I bit back a grin, but nodded.

“Yet,” I agreed. His smile was devious and he winked at me as I left.

I ended up in a dress and leggings. Leggings because Edward might pick me up again, and dress because I wanted to look nice for meeting the parents. The dress was, of course, purple.

I bounded down the stairs after braiding my hair. Edward wasn’t there, and then I was running into him at the bottom. He steadied me, then pulled away to get a good look at me. Knowing that he could have seen all there was to see in less than a second, the good five seconds that it took for him to look me up and down was gratifying. I was glad I’d taken the time to add red lip stain, from the way his eyes lingered. He wanted. I could feel how much he wanted.

“How is it that you look so… tempting?” His voice was a nearly a growl. It was rumbly and yummy and made a good shiver go through me every place our bodies touched. My hands were braced on his chest. He carefully brushed his lips across my forehead. Barely a touch. Not enough touch. His lips trailed ever so lightly down the side of my face and pressed a feather light kiss on my jaw. I gasped. I could feel his answering smile.

His lips met mine after the longest seconds I can remember. And then, it was nothing but fire, want, and Edward.

He pulled away and left me in a daze. He needed a few seconds to collect himself too, and he helped steady me on my feet. Then he cleared his throat and stepped away, keeping hold of my hand.

“Are you ready to go meet my family?” Edward asked. I nodded.

“Ready, Eddie,” I agreed. He frowned at the nickname, but then we were on our way.

I mentally crossed my fingers.

Chapter Text

The mist parted as Edward drove through the forest past the edge of town. We had passed out of anything I recognized. The gravel, unmarked road was loud under the tires as we snaked out way down the private path. The sun broke through the trees in little slivers, soft and warm. Just looking out the window made me itch for a camera as we drove miles through the forest with the only music the wind and the gravel under the tires.

We broke free of the trees to see a clearing that was at least an acre. Giant Redwoods shaded the the clearing, with only glimpses of sunlight. These glimpses glittered off the windows on the house. And so much of the house was windows. The vast sweeping porch had multiple sets of double glass doors leading out to it. There were huge windows to the upper floors, giving glimpses of white and warm wood.

Edward pulled in front of the small mansion and parked by the convertible in front of a huge multi-car garage. I took a deep breath and got out of the car. I could hear the sound of a river or stream close by in the quiet of the forest. Edward took my hand and squeezed it, getting me to look at him.

“They’re going to love you,” Edward promised me. I leaned into him and took a deep breath. I let it out and straightened up, preparing myself. They might not like me. But the pure love and protective surety that Edward felt right now was reassuring.

“I trust you,” I said quietly, realizing that I did. His happiness rushed through me, and I couldn’t help but smile back at him.

We walked hand in hand up the porch and into the house. I was gripping his hand a little too tight, and he started rubbing little soothing circles into the back of it.

The front door opened to a spacious and airy great room. I could see straight through to the back of the house and out through another set of huge windows. I could see the edge of the river to the rear of the house. There was a massive grand staircase to one side across the stretch of wooden flooring. The pale rugs led my eyes to a raised section of floor and the a gorgeous grand piano. And by the grand piano, were Esme and Carlisle Cullen.

Esme was a slender, short woman, with a heart shaped face. She had soft honey hair that was done in waves that caressed her shoulders. Her lips had a welcoming and gentle smile. For a moment, her face was overlaid with my own mother’s. That same gentle smile that promised acceptance and unconditional love.

Edward squeezed my hand comfortingly again, then gently led me forward.

“Carlisle, Esme,” Edward said in the peaceful quiet of the house. I could hear the difference as his voice echoed off the high exposed rafters of the Great Room. “This is Amara.”

“Welcome to our home, Amara.” Carlisle stepped off the raised stage for the grand piano and approach slowly, with all the care of someone approaching a small child. I gathered my courage and somehow flipped the overly polite and formal switch.

“I’m glad to meet you under better circumstances than our last meeting, Dr. Cullen,” I said, stepping forward to meet him and shake his hand.

“Please, call me Carlisle,” he corrected, smiling a little. I smiled in return, and repeated his first name, relaxing in his presence. He felt curious, but protective and affectionate. No blood lust. Not even the base level of bloodlust that I felt from Edward. It was so minor that I didn’t have time to find it before he let go of my hand. Esme came forward next and took my hand carefully. She was excited and I could already feel that she wanted me here. She was very fond of me already. She was also nearly as nervous as I was.

“I’m so glad you came,” she told me earnestly and honestly. I grinned back at her sincerely in the face of her affection and to ease her nerves.

“I’m glad I came too,” I confessed, and she let my hand go.

“Where are Alice and Jasper?” Edward asked. Carlisle and then Esme turned to look at the stairs, making me turn. Alice and Jasper appeared, obviously waiting for this cue..

“Hey, Edward!” Alice called out happily, already bounding down the stairs. She didn’t bother keeping to purely human speeds or disguising her vampire status, only going slow enough for my eyes to follow easily. She can to a sudden and complete stop in front of me, only her hair and clothing moving with her sudden loss of momentum. Her smile was bright and welcoming. Esme and Carlise were giving her warning glances, but I rather liked her not bothering to hide. Just being her authentic bubbly self. It made me grin too.

“Hi, Amara!” and she leaned to kiss my cheek, slow enough for me to flinch back if I wanted to. She felt hopeful and exited, and more than a little amused. I was also amused that she had to lean up to kiss my cheek, being so very short. Carlisle, Esme, and Edward all stiffened. I was a little shocked, but excepted it as part of who Alice was. She meant me no harm. I glanced at his face. It was blank. Too blank.

I reached out to him and took his hand. He took it and stared at at. Then he frowned. Then he looked up at me, still frowning. He felt a little betrayed. My face fell. I was very concerned. There was a small spike of anger, but it was lost in sadness and betrayal. So much emotion. Vampires just felt so much more strongly than humans. So strong, nearly overwhelming, sometimes.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Edward asked, settling on resigned and disappointed. There was a good bit of guilt and self blame in there too, now. I frowned, and tilted my head.

“Tell you what?” I was very confused now. What had happened in those brief seconds to make Edward feel that way? I glanced around. Esme and Carlisle looked confused. Alice looked interested and excited still. Jasper had now joined as and was watching me with rapt fascination.

Jasper.

Jasper the empath.

“You feel what others feel, like Jasper,” Edward accused. I nodded with a sigh.

“Only when I make skin contact,” I clarified, looking into his eyes. He was betrayed by this. Why? His eyes flickered to Jasper and then back to me.

“I told you everything about myself and my abilities,” Edward explained. “And you kept this a secret.” I paused, still frowning.

“You didn’t tell me about your abilities,” I corrected him, a little incensed on my own behalf. “I informed you I knew you were a vampire and that you were a telepath. You didn’t even confirm the telepath thing to me, that’s just me figuring things out.” Edward processed this, but still looked and felt a little betrayed.

“But you weren’t honest with me,” he said earnestly. I paused. I bit my lip as laughter welled up inside. Edward looked very confused, and I couldn’t help it. I burst out laughing. I tried to clasp my hands over my face to stop it, letting go of his hand, but I couldn’t Edward frowned in concern, and I just laughed harder. It took a couple of moments for my to compose myself and wipe the wetness from my eyes. I chuckled.

“That was a good laugh,” I said, amused. Edward looked confused and annoyed now. I took his hand and squeezed it, trying to be more serious.

“Edward, what do you know about fae lore, and lying?” I asked seriously. His eyes flickered over my head and back to me. He was surprised by something he had read in someone’s mind.

“The fae speak in half truths, and do not lie,” he recited. I nodded.

“I am fae enough and if I were to ever try and lie in front of you, you would probably know immediately,” I told him honestly. As if I could be anything else. Edward frowned at the pause, still upset, but more frustrated now. Probably at not being able to read my mind. “If I were to lie, I would get internal injuries. Or the few occasions I have tried, nearly immediate nose bleeds, and sharp pains in the head and abdomen. If I tried to lie to you, it could kill me.” Edward looked a little sick at the thought.

“You must be very fae then,” Carlisle interjected. I turned and gave him a small nod.

“Three-quarters, actually.” I admitted. Edward felt awed, followed by a surge of fear. I brought his hand to my mouth and kissed it, feeling a surge of affection for this man. He responded with his own. “So I don’t lie.” I sighed. “And I suppose it makes me reluctant to volunteer information, when so often, I have no choice.” I sighed again, and this time Edward pulled me into his arms.

It was quiet for a few minutes. Edward’s hands carded through my hair, and I got flashes of how much he loved me. His concern and fear. His guilt and curiosity. After a little while, he pulled away. I smiled up at him. He smiled softly down at me, and tucked what might have been an imaginary strand of hair behind my ear. The love in that touch made me full of the same. This scared and fiercely devoted man who had no idea what he was doing with me, but was going to do his very best anyway. I was so proud of him for trying so hard.

The others were gone now, giving us at least the illusion of privacy. Edward’s eyes flicked to the piano, and I turned to follow his gaze.

It really was a beautiful instrument. Polished and well cared for. Wonderful instrument and even more wonderful acoustics, I bet. It made my fingers twitch.

“Do you play?” Edward asked, ever curious. I shrugged.

“My hands are too small to play properly, and when I discovered that, my heart wasn’t in it,” I admitted. “I’m more of a guitar person. I can still appreciate a gorgeous instrument.” I looked back at him. “Do you play?” He smiled, in a way that meant he was excellent at it. False modesty, maybe. I pulled him by the hand towards the piano. He gave an exasperated huff that was belied by the fact I could feel how delighted he was. I sat on the bench with him beside me. He gave me one last look, a trife nervous, then put his fingers to the keys.

The notes were soft to begin with, phrases flowing from fingertips that flew across the keys. The room filled with a melody that took my breath away. Passages that couldn’t have been accomplished without superhuman speed of extra fingers. It was obviously his own composition. And played with so much emotion. If I hadn’t known that he loved me, this song would have said it better than any words ever could. If his name hadn’t already been written on me heart, the song would have inscribed it there.

The last notes faded and he turned to face me, eyes so very hesitant, in spite of the surface bravado and shrug of his shoulders. I reached up and caressed the side of his face. My heart was so full of love that I felt it would burst in this moment. He brought his hand up and, very carefully, used his thumb to brush tears from my eyes. I hadn’t even know they were there.

“Please kiss me,” I whispered. And then, just like that, he was.

I lost track of time. I just know that when I was once again aware, we were sitting on the couch, and Edward was panting next to me. I too was having trouble getting my breath. His eyes were so beautiful. Not the color, though that was pretty enough, but the emotion. The adoration he showered me with with every glance. Never had I felt so wanted in every way.

We were interrupted by someone clearing their throat. Edward suddenly glowered and glared to look at the source, annoyed.

“Get a room, love birds,” Emmet said in a teasing tone. Edward was so very annoyed at that, and looked it. I glanced over and Emmet opened his mouth to speak again.

“We get the point,” Edward said quickly, standing up and pulling me with him. I went willingly. Emmet had a cheeky little grin on his face. I wondered what he had been about to say. Whatever it was, Edward was embarrassed. If he could blush, he would be. I was going to like Emmet.

“Rose and Esme made breakfast for the human,” Emmet informed us. Edward nodded and took my hand to take me somewhere. I huffed a laugh.

“Is the word fae a dirty word?” I asked Emmet as we headed toward him. He raised an eyebrow. “Or, did you call me a human just to annoy me?” Emmet chuckled, but shook his head.

“To annoy Edward,” Emmet promised. “Come on, I promise Rose’s bark is worse than her bite.” Edward didn’t like that phrasing, but I kind of liked the lack of censoring. And I was going to meet Rosalie.

This was going to be interesting.

Chapter Text

As we walked upstairs, a delicious smell safted down. I could smell sausage and lovely bread. As we entered the room, heads turned to greet us, despite the fact that they must known that we were coming. Esme smiled at us widely from the stove, flipping over bacon. I grinned at her.

“We were just finished making your breakfast!” Esme told me happily, gesturing towards the spread of food on the counties island. There was enough to feed all eight people in the house, even though I was the only one who could enjoy it. It looked gorgeous and delicious.

“She already ate, she’s not hungry,” Edward interjected. I frowned. Rosealie broke the glass she was carrying. I sighed and turned to Esme.

“I barely had any breakfast earlier and the sight of all this food is reminding me that I should have eaten more. I am actually hungry and appreciate the thought.” I glanced at Edward. “Did I tell you that Edward took me out all day yesterday and forgot that I would need to eat and drink?” Edward frowned. Emmett laughed. Edward grimaced.

“We hope you like what we made,” Esme said, distracting Edward. I smiled.

“It looks like a full fry up,” I said happily. “And nothing that smells this good can be bad.” Esme brightened. Edward felt a little frustrated. I turned to him.

“Sweetheart, do you know what you did wrong?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. He felt confused and frustrated, but didn’t respond. “You told me how I should feel and made a decision for me.” He was startled. “That is not your decision if I need food. This is my body, not yours. That is a little controlling, Eddie boy.” Emmett huffed a laugh. I looked up and met his eyes and raised an eyebrow at him. He raised one back, which made me grin. Edward was feeling confused and guilty and frustrated. I smiled at him. “We’ll work on it. Like the asking instead of demanding.” I turned to Esme.

“I would love to try some of your cooking,” I told her brightly. Esme, whose smile had dimmed, brightened considerably. I stepped forward to get a plate of food. Emmett stepped in behind me and flung an arm around Edward’s shoulders.

“Welcome to the club, Eddie boy,” Emmett teased. “You’ll learn that they win. Every. Single. Time.” I chuckled as I looked back.

“Aw, but since I can’t lie, I do have to admit when I’m wrong, so I can’t win every time.” I reminded Edward. “And in this case, I’m not wrong.”

“That is fascinating,” Carlisle admitted.

“Since it can cause internal bleeding, I’m not going to be showing you,” I cautioned. Edward felt horrified at the thought.

“Never,” Edward ordered. I rolled my eyes.

“Anyways, we can talk about it later and share,” I told Carlisle. “Right now I really want some of that black pudding. I have not had any in at least a year.” Esme beamed. She ushered me to a seat at the table and started loading my plate. She got me a glass of whole milk to go with it without asking. I smiled and thanked her, taking a sip with relish.

The food was excellent, even if you forgot that the cooks didn’t eat, and hadn’t for decades. I kept Esme talking about the cooking and recipes she wanted to try, commenting on ones I would be happy to test. Esme was delighted to hear that I enjoyed her food, and, like any mother, insisted that I take some home later. It was adorable.

After I simple could not eat another bite, she began storing and cleaning up. I sighed in satisfaction. Alice had stayed and joined in on the food conversation, but Rosalie and Emmet had left. Carlisle had invited me to his study after I ate. Then he gave Edward a meaningful look that obviously contained a telepathic message, because Edward’s spine snapped straight and his eyes went wide. He really needed to work on schooling his expression.

“I can help with the dishes,” I offered, because I could, I just wasn’t particularly happy at the thought. Esme waved me away.

“No, you go tour the house. Talk to my husband,” Emes said. “Alice can help me pack this up for you to take home later.”

“Thank you!” I said gratefully. I loved home cooked food that I didn’t have to make myself. Edward was staying on the periphery, but stepped forward to take my hand once again as as stood from the table.

The rush of adoration. The fondness and bursting joy he felt floored me. Overlaying it, was a fear that hadn’t been there. A worry that nagged at the back of his brain. Something recent had bothered him. He was distracted in a way that he hadn’t been before. Still the love that he felt wrapped me up and I couldn’t help but smile up at him in a way that I’m sure was foolishly besotted.

“I love your mother,” I informed Edward as we walked to the study and toured the house a little. We were meandering, slowing looking from painting to painting. Not in any rush. Edward loved that. I could feel it.

“She lights up with happiness every time we look at each other,” Edward admitted. “Thank you for putting up with the cooking nonsense.” I frowned.

“I legitimately want to try some of those recipes. I love home made food that I don’t have to cook.” Edward chuckled and I felt his fondness and a hint of amusement. Did he forget I can’t lie so quickly.

“It’s nice… watching you be so happy like that,” Edward said. “Your so wonderfully patient with my family.” He paused. “So welcoming.”

“They are welcoming to me,” I said warmly, then paused. “Well, not all of them.” Edward set his lips in a tight line.

“Rosalie… is jealous of your mortality,” Edward said carefully, making me immediately know that there was more to it than that. I decided to let it go. Then I raised an eyebrow at him.

“And the thing that’s worrying you that Carlisle told you before you left?” I asked archly. “The same thing that Alice gave you significant glances about?” Edward pulled his eyebrows together.

“You noticed that?” Edward said, buying time. I nodded, and waited, looking up at him expectantly. He struggled internally for a long moment. I could feel the desire to protect war with his frustration and fear. He relented. “He told me some… news.” I nodded and waited. He was silent for a long moment. “He wanted to know if it was something I would share with you.” I raised the other eyebrow. He waited in silence for another response. I just looked at him expectantly, while he grew uncomfortable and a little guilty.

“Alice saw that we might have some visitors soon,” Edward admitted. The fear and fierce protectiveness that he felt as he said those words told me all I needed to know about what kind of visitors these were. I felt a chill go down my spine. He frowned in worry as he watched my face. I took a deep breath and let it out. I would not bow to the fear. He still felt and looked concerned.

“I suppose I could just give you the spare key,” I said, letting the fear flow away through years of practice. Edward looked surprised. “I suppose you’re moving in until their gone.” Edward smiled, and there was such a surge of relief, swirling with a adoration that I didn’t feel I truly deserved.

“I won’t let anything happen to you,” he swore, fiercely determined. I squeezed his hand.

“I trust you,” I said firmly, to his awe.

We reached the end of the hall, and I look up and the large wooden cross. About a foot and a half tall, and made of thick dense wood, it was captivating. It wasn’t very ornate. The shaping of the piece had been done well, but little carving work. The signs of age were present. The blue/ green of oxidized patina covered most of the wood, creating a natural finish that hipster art moms would die for. Over 300 years old, easily. I went to inspect it closer, and Edward followed.

“Carlisle father carved that himself,” Edward told me. “He hung it over his pulpit in the vicarage. I nodded.

“1700?” I guessed. Edward shook his head, though I could feel that he was amused and a little impressed by my guessed.

“1630s, more or less,” Edward corrected. I hummed thoughtfully.

“Rise of protestantism, age Catholic persecution. Cromwell,” I said leadingly.

“Carlisle was born in London shortly before Cromwell,” Edward admitted. I nodded. He seemed a little confused, but also impressed for some reason. “He was the only son of an Anglican pastor. His mother died in childbirth, and he was left alone with his intolerant father. He was enthusiastic in persecuting Roman Catholics. He also believed in the reality of evil. He led hunts for witches, werewolves,” he paused. “and vampires.”

I watched his face, but he wasn’t watching me anymore. I could feel the echoes of emotions. Hatred, guilt, pain, sorrow, sympathy. He was lost in the story. It occured to me that he had lived it through Carlisle’s memories. “They burned so many innocent people…” He was silent. Grief filled him. He felt so deeply.

“When his father was too old to lead the raids, his dutiful son took over. Carlisle was a disappointment. He was not as quick to see demons.” There was some pride their. “Put he was persistent, and more clever. He discovered a coven of vampires living in the sewers of the city, coming out at night to hunt. People believed in monsters then.”

“So the people gathered their pitchforks and torches,” he laughed a bitter laugh. He was full of self hatred at this point. Guilt and horror and pain. “And Carlisle led them to the exit he had seen one of th monsters use. Eventually, one emerged.”

Edward was tight as a bow sting. The horror in the story the fear and bitterness and all the self loathing. But through it all the echoes of the determined persistence of someone who believes they are doing God’s work. Like an echo. His voice now, was soft and dark. The bright cheery hall was nothing to him now. He was the streets of London. He was reliving a memory that was not his own. His eyes fixed on the cross.

“The vampire…’ Edward whispered. “he must have been weak with hunger. He called out the the others in Latin went he caught scent of the mob. He ran. Carlisle, twenty three and very fast, led the pursuit. Why the creature didn’t simply out run them, I don’t know. Maybe it was too hungry. But it turned and attack. It fed on Carlisle, only to stop and defend itself from those following close behind. It killed two men, and made off with a third, leaving Carlisle bleeding in the street.”

He paused. The roiling emotions, and the echo of the past twisted and coiled, then flowed and calmed as a storm clearing from the sky. Now there was only Edward’s own empathy, and sorrow and pride in his father. There was also a twinge of secrecy and I knew he was trying to hide something from me, but, fair enough.

“Carlisle knew that his father would order anything infected by the monster to be destroyed,” Edward said, reining in his emotions. Or trying to. “He acted instinctively to save his own life. He crawled away and hid in a cellar while the mob searched for the monster. He buried himself in the rotting potatoes for days.” There was that echo of disgust at the thought again. “I don’t know how he managed to stay silent, and not be found.” Edward shook himself and turned to me, obviously skipping over the pain and transition.

“Then it was over, and he realized what he had become.” Edward’s eyes searched my face, radiating guilt and self recrimination. I smiled up at him and squeezed his hand.

“You must be proud of your father,” I told him. “To have been born surrounded by hatred and grown to so kind.” Edward bloomed with joy at my words. He pulled me into a hug, ever careful of my fragile self, and breathed in deep. He was overflowing with adoration again. When he pulled back, his eyes were worshipful.

“Come on,” he invited, lightly tugging my hand. “I’ll show you more.”

Chapter Text

Edward led me back toward Carlisle’s office.

“We shouldn’t keep Carlisle waiting any longer,” Edward said. He felt a little sheepish. He let go of my hand to open the door when we were invited in without knocking.

At first, I thought we had entered a library. Bookshelves filled nearly every available centimeter of wall space towering over the room. They were overflowing with books, and other artifacts scattered throughout the last few hundred years. The smell, though. I was 8 years old, going into the library early in the morning to pick out a book. I half expected to turn and find my grandfather sitting in his old leather chair, opening his arms for us to read it together.

I blinked and the world righted itself. There was a large mahogany desk in the center of the room. Carlisle sat behind it in a leather chair that reminded me strongly of Grandfather’s. He placed a bookmark carefully in the pages of the thick volume he held and looked up. His smile was so warm and kind, and his eyes so patient and kind… I couldn’t help but smile back.

“I was just telling Amara about our history,” Edward explained. “Well, your history.” Carlisle didn’t seem bothered, he just stood from his desk.

“Where are you going to start?” Carlisle joined us on the other side of the desk.

“The Waggoner,” Edward slide an arm around my shoulder and gently spun me around from where I was trying to take in all the books to look the door we had just come through. My heart jumped at the contact, and as we came to look at the wall side by side, he looked down at me worriedly. I bit my lip and looked down, a little embarrassed, trying not to blush. I turned instead to face the door.

This wall was not covered in bookcases, unlike the others. Tightly packed from wall to wall, floor to ceiling, were frames of pictures. A varying landscape of sepia, black and white, and dazzling color. Paint, sketch, and photograph; all tumbled together with no obvious pattern. Edward steered me to the far left, wordlessly steering me as I took in the mosaic like framework.

The painting Edward showed me was a small square oil painting, seemingly unimportant from the others. The sepia rooftops and the towers scattered around the cityscape made me smile at the memories of college history courses. The wide river sweeping across the foreground was straddled by a bridge. The clustered tiny houses over the bridge dating it even more than anything else.

“The London of my youth,” Carlisle said. I nodded.

“Before the great fire,” I nodded. Carlisle made an interested noise. I back to smile at him. “I’ve taken History of London courses.” I chuckled. “I’m actually a Londoner myself, if somewhat younger.” Carlisle chuckled as well.

“Will you tell the story?” Edward asked, but Carlisle’s smile didn’t falter.

“I would,” he allowed. “but I’m actually running a bit late. The hospital called. Besides, you know the stories as well as I do.” He grinned at Edward. Edward was obviously getting more information than that. Carlisle excused himself with another warm smile.

“What happened when he woke up?” I asked quietly, looking at the painting, obviously crafted with care.

“When he realized what he had become,” Edward replied quietly. “he rebelled. He tried to destroy himself. But that is not so easy to do.” I frowned. Vampires were notoriously hard to kill, if you didn’t know about fire.

“So he failed, and grew hungrier,” I guessed. Edward squeezed my shoulder.

“He grew weaker,” he continued, confirming my guess. “He wandered away from civilization, wandering every night for months, lonely, and hating himself.” And Edward would know something about self loathing.

“One night, a herd of deer passed by his hiding place. He attacked without thought,” Edward arm turned into more of a cradle. “His strength returned, and he realized their was an alternative to being the monster he feared. Over the next months he developed his new philosophy. He found himself again. He used his unlimited days well. He has always been intelligent, and now he studied. He swam to France, and Europe, to their universities. He applied himself to studying music, science, and medicine. He found his calling, his penance, in saving human lives.” I watch Edward point out images of universities, and pictures of men in flowing robes.

“It took centuries and tortuous effort for Carlisle gain his perfect self control. He is all bu immune to blood. The hospital is his peace.” Edward smiled fondly and stared off at nothing. I leaned into his side and wrapped my own arm around him. He gave me a little smile before returned to his story. He tapped a huge painting.

Four robed figures formed a quartet of figures. They were poses on the highest balcony. They were royal posed above uncertain chaos. Searching their faces, I recognized Carlisle and let out a sound of startled surprise.

“He was studying in Italy when he discover others. They were much more civilized and education than the monsters of the London sewers,” Edward continued. “Solimena was inspired by Carlisle friends and often painted them as gods.” Edward chuckled without humor. “Aro, Marcus, Caius.” He pointed at each as he named them. “Night time Patrons of the arts.” I swallowed. Volturi.

“Volturi,” I whispered. Edward frozen place. Not a breath. I let out one of mine. “Beth’s family have run into them before.” I admitted. “I’ve never seen their faces before. I just know you don’t go there, and you keep vampire law.” Edward nodded, thrown off. “I assume Carlisle and the Volturi disagreed about their diets?” Edward nodded.

“He stayed with them for a few decades, but left for the new world,” Edward continued. “They parted on good terms.” I sighed in relief. “He searched for others like him. He was very lonely. But myths faded, and monsters weren’t real anymore. He started practicing medicine, but could risk others discovering his secret.”

“When the Spanish Flu hit Chicago, he was working night shifts there,” Edward went on. “He had the idea to make a companion for himself, since he couldn’t find one. He wasn’t sure how, as he didn’t know why his own had happened. He also didn’t want to steal someone’s life. He found me in the ward, My parents dead. I was alone and dying. He decided to try…” His voice had faded to whisper, which I would have had difficult hearing if I didn’t have slightly better hearing than your average human. No where near Edward.

We waited in silence as the memories, his and Carlisle’s, filtered through Edward’s mind. I knew the transition was extremely painful. Wish you’d die kind of pain. Edward was remembering the worst pain of his life.

Eventually, he moved and started breathing again. I leaned into him again and hugged him. He seemed surprised, but wrapped his own arm around my waist and pulled me close. He pressed his face into my hair and breath. I sucked in my own breath as I felt his guilt, pain, and mental anguish. I let him use me as his personal teddy bear and smelling salts as he came back to himself and the self hatred resumed its normal levels. Then their was a rush of gratitude, awe, and devotion. He pressed a kiss to the top of my head. I smiled and hummed happily.

“Let me show you more of the house,” Edward said, pulling back and taking my hand. I grinned. I would process all of that later. Too much to process now. Definitely time to actually remember anything at all about the Volturi, other than to be terrified.

“Why, sir?” I said, fluttering my eye lashes. “One might think you have intentions.” Edward’s lips quirked up and he leaned in.

“You’ll just have to find out.”

Ooh! Eddie had game. Who knew?

Chapter Text

“My room,” Edward said, coming to a stop in front of the door at the end of the hall. He let go of my hand to open the door for us, but not before I felt how nervous he was. He insisted I go in first, and followed after close enough I could feel it.

The first thing that drew my eye was the huge floor to ceiling window that took up most of the southern wall. The sunlight warmed the wood flooring with a golden hue, and would all day. There was a sophisticated set up for sound, with barely visible speakers in the corners of the ceiling.

The set up for music was built into the cabinetry on the wall opposite the window. The cabinets and shelves were custom built to house the equipment for playing CDs, records, tapes; All of it. And displayed floor to ceiling, obviously organized in some sort of manner, was a vast collection of disks and records and tapes. All neat and organized and would make a music enthusiast drool. They all looked well kept, even though many of them looked old.

Facing the window was a wide soft looking leather sofa flanked by two solid dark wood side tables. The plush rug it sat on was golden. Though it may have been golden only due to the sunlight. Edward grabbed a remote off of one of the tables, and switched on his sound system. Big Band filled the air and I bit my lip for a moment before I placed it.

“Sugar Foot Stomp, Goodman,” I said, surprising Edward and making him chuckle.

“Anything, I remember,” Edward chided himself. “Should have known.” I chuckled and shook my head.

“This is older than me,” I pointed out. “But I prefer the Henderson version. Of course, I prefer the Henderson version for most things.” Edward chuckled again.

“Of course,” he said. “And I assume you prefer Jelly Roll too,” I frowned.

“It rings a bell, but I will admit that I am not as well versed in discography and music history as you,” I admitted, making a little fake bow. Edward smiled and led me over to the sofa to sit with him.

“He’s the person who proved you could notate jazz on paper and keep it improvisational,” Edward explained. Very cool.

“You’ll have to play me some of his pieces sometime,” I suggested with a smile. Edward took my hand in his and smiled at me with a genuine warmth. He was excited and hopeful and so vibrantly in the moment it took my breath away.

“It’s a promise,” he said seriously, and Felt the undercurrent of devotion. Far more devotion that someone should have for only knowing me less than a semester. Weirdo. Ok. Maybe we were both weirdos here. Because I seriously felt too similarly to truly dismiss it as weird. Maybe magic fey shit again.

“You’ve obviously gathered a big music collection,” I commented, breaking the serious eye contact before we internally combusted or I tried to make out with him. “Poor Carlisle, putting up with 9 decades of music collection.” I grinned as I teased him, poking fun at him to get that beautiful laugh again.

Edward didn’t laugh.

I frowned. That should have been funny. He Felt disparring. So guilty and full of self hatred. And through it all fear. He gripped my hand a little tighter, and I could feel he desperation to keep me. A secret. Something bad.

“Edward?” I prodded. I squeezed his hand back. He had stopped breathing, frozen as if carved out of marble. Dappled and sparkling in the sunlight filtered through the swaying trees. He was terrified.

“Edward?” I tried again. “What are you afraid of?” Edward unfroze and added his other hand to the grip holding mine, just as the grip softened. His grip on me was now careful… fragile. His eyes, gold and amber and gorgeous whatever their shade, bored into mine as if to find the answer to a question that he hadn’t asked yet. Like he could tell me his secrets with only his eyes. Afraid to say the words.

“Amara,” Edward whispered, full of adoration and devotion and regret and guilt and so much emotion it nearly consumed me. I nodded. I couldn’t speak, afraid that the sound of my voice would make him freeze again.

“I haven’t stayed with Carlisle, not all those 9 decades,” Edward confessed. I swallowed and nodded that I understood. Still unwilling to break his focus. His fear was bitter and vile. I needed to soothe it, but I couldn’t until he told me what he was afraid of.

“For about 3 years, I left,” Edward confessed. His words came in a rush now. He was desperate to share and make me understand. Secrets needed out.

What was his secret? Had he offend someone? Was he hunted? Had he killed someone? Had he loved someone?

“I resented Carlisle for curbing my… appetite,” Edward continued so fast that I had to focus to hear every word. No. Not this.

“You killed people,” I whispered, knowing he could hear every word. The killer’s senses always active. My heart raced and fear laced my veins. “Many people.”

“Yes.”

Chapter Text

I wanted to run. I wanted to curl up and cry. I wanted to pull him into my arms and tell him that I forgave him.. That there was nothing in the world that would make me leave or make me hate him. But I knew that wasn’t true.

I couldn’t run. Running from a vampire was futile, unless you were in pubic and they couldn’t reveal themselves. But even then. This was Edward. I didn’t know if I could run from him. The madness in my heart. The hollowness within me whenever he was gone. Did I really have a choice? Was he the horror I feared?

But as he clutched my hand, he was still desperate and terrified. And yet… resigned. As if he had just sealed his fate. The longer I didn’t speak, the more the regret and depression and loss consumed him. I had to speak.

“Why?”

“I convinced myself that if I took the evil people, then it was ok,” Edward confessed. He was still full of that sorrow. That weighty regret, both new and old. “I would track murderers, rapists, human trafficers. The worst kinds of people. I would track then and I would kill them.”

His confession still ran through with regret and guilt. The old faded pain of bad decisions. The new pain and sorrow that had him gently rubbing the top of my hand with his thumbs. Slowly. As if memorizing it.

“Only those people,” I asked. If it was… maybe. His guilt though. Maybe others. Please let there be no others. Edward was already shaking his head.

“Only those,” he insisted, and I felt the truth in that statement. “I followed them. Witnessed.” I swallowed. That was still horrible, but not as horrible. How was that worse than Uncle Peter?

“Why did you stop?” I needed to know. That was the real information I needed know. Why? Edward took a deep and completely unnecessary breath.

“No one should decide if someone lives or dies, especially not someone like me,” Edward said with a sigh. His resignation was nearly compete. Barely a spark of hope remained.

“Someone like you?”

“A monster.”

Hell no.

“You’ve Killed?” I looked him in the eyes and held his hand tight. “I’ve killed. Does that make me a monster?” Edward was horrified by the thought.

“Never,” he denied.

“I know fey who hunt people like those you killed,” I said. “Fey who lead them to their deaths gleefully and with excitement.” I refused to look away. “My father being one of them. The blood that runs through my veins.”

“We’re all monsters. Being a monster doesn’t make you a bad person.”

Edward couldn’t meet my eyes anymore. He was full of self hate and guilt and confusion and denial and a flood of feelings that felt were stronger than nearly anything I’ve ever felt before. So very much, all at once.

“You don’t understand,” Edward said with another sigh. “What I am…”

“What you are is a person,” I interrupted him before he could call himself a monster again. “Or do you not think you’re a person?” Edward smiled in spite of himself.

“I concede your point, counselor,” Edward agreed with a dry chuckle. The burning pit of shame and self hatred and guilt receded to the background, where I was beginning to realize it always was. It was replaced with concern and admiration.

“You’re not a monster,” Edward all but demanded firmly. I chuckled and Edward was confused, if still earnest.

“We’re all just trying to survive and find our way on a spinning rock that doesn’t give a damn about us. No matter who we are, we do monstrous things just because we want to exist.”

“Not you.”

“Even me,” I assured him. He was full of denial not and was starting to pull away. He wasn’t ready for this. “But that is neither here nor there. We were having fun before we started discussing the identity of the self and the nature of man. Let’s agree we’re people and move on to you showing me your gorgeous music collection and return to our regularly scheduled programming?” Edward felt a surge of relief and gratitude, but shook his head at me with a surge of disbelief. .

“You should have run from me,” Edward informed me. I shrugged.

“In these heels?” I joked, raising an eyebrow at him. Edward rolled his eyes at me and I grinned in victory. Victory!

“You’re not even wearing heels,” Edward said shaking his head at me. He was cheering up again and starting to get back a little of that cheekiness he had before.

“Then I guess I won’t be doing any running today,” I agreed with a grin.

“That doesn’t even make sense,” Edward complained. I pained him. Yes. Stop moping and remember that you’re an sarcastic asshole.

“Your face doesn’t make sense,” I shot back and poked him in the side. It was hard and mostly unyielding. I didn’t care. He was confused.

“Why are you poking me?” Edward complained.

“Because I felt like it,” I admitted. Edward let out a little chuckle, in spite of himself. There was echoing laughter from the hall and Edward groaned in defeat. I turned to the closed door. I couldn’t recognize the laugh, but is was female.

“Come in Alice,” Edward said, not bothering to raise his voice. Vampires and their crazy hearing. At least I didn’t have to hear any of my family masterbating. Poor Eddie. Telepathy must suck.

Alice smoothy opened the door and lightly pranced in with that vampire grace and fluidity that she didn’t bother trying to hide as much, the way she did at school. Not that she wasn’t graceful at school too, but now there was an ‘other’ quality to it. Jasper paused at the door, and was watching us with curious eyes. He looked between the two of us and was probably empathically reading us. If he could turn it off and on at all.

“I heard wheezing and wanting to make sure Edward wasn’t choking on his words again,” Alice teased Edward.

“Could have been him coughing up and apology.” I joined in the teasing. “He does that with remarkable frequency.” I felt the eyeroll that never made it to physical form. Good. Eddie needed to roll his eyes more. Alice laughed

“I would love to see that,” Alice announced, clapping her hands together gleefully. I sighed dramatically and put my hand over my heart.

“Alas, he has not erred recently, so you will just have to wait until he inevitably puts his foot in his mouth again,” I said sadly. Eddie sighed as Alice’s laugh tinkled in the air.

“We came up for a different reason,” Jasper said, limiting Edward’s embarrassment, to his relief and gratitude. “Alice saw a real bad storm coming in tonight and Emmet wants to play ball. You game?” Edward lit up inside with excitement. So much he was nearly giddy with it. Longing and a vibrant energy that reminded me of how he felt when he was running with me on his back. Yet he was hesitant, and when he looked at me, I knew why.

“Of course you should bring Amara,” Alice declared, with an unvoiced ‘dumbass’ that seemed to be tacked on to a lot of her statements to Edward. Just like a good little sister. Edward’s glee multiplied and now he was nearly vibrating with anticipation and hope.

“Do you want to go?” Edward asked, and I knew what my answer had to be. That face. So precious.

“Of course,” I immediate agreed. “What game are you playing?”

“Baseball,” Jasper answered for Edward, who looked like he was about to wax poetic.

“We have to wait for the thunder to play,” Edward said, glancing at Alice. Alice grinned and nodded.

“Lots of thunder,” Alice responded to Edward’s nonverbal prompt. “The storm will be right over town, so she won’t even need a raincoat.”

“Just some pom poms,” I teased. Edward raised an eyebrow at me and I raised one back.

“No outfit?” Edward teased right back. I smirked.

“Maybe next time,” I countered. “Unless you want to see if I can borrow one from one of your sisters?” Edward sputtered and I heard a loud guffah from somewhere in the house and Jasper’s laughter joined in with Alice’s.

“No,” Edward said, feeling a little sick at the thought.

“I have a different idea, if you’re up for it,” Alice said, making Edward wince ad whatever he saw in her head. I chuckled.

“We’ll see.”

Edward sighed, resigned but happy to be so.

Chapter Text

Before I could get to know whatever Alice’s (most likely devious) idea had been, my doorbell alert came in on my phone. It sent me a text message whenever anyone rang the doorbell. Edward stopped the music we were listening to and discussing so I could focus. I loaded the internet on my top of the line phone and pulled up the remote surveillance site on my phone. It was a Native American man I didn’t recognize. Two actually.

Edward, next to me, did recognize them and stiffened. I raised an eyebrow and he pretended everything was fine. Secrets again. This had a thread of honor behind it. Not his to tell, maybe.

“Hello?” I activated and spoke into the microphone on the phone, letting them hear me. They were startled, but the one in the wheelchair recovered first. Good for him. It was a custom website. There weren’t many people who could do this remotely, and they probably assumed I was inside. The storm was brewing behind them as he cleared his throat.

“Ms. Lewis?” He said, looking around for the speaker and finding it to the left of the door. “I was wondering if we might speak to you for a few minutes? We have some concerns about your daughter.”

I muted the microphone and burst out laughing. I couldn’t help it. This was ridiculous.

“And what is it,” I got out (after getting control of the giggles) “that I need to know about my daughter?”

“She’s been rumored to be hanging around with suspicious characters and we just wanted to make sure she was safe,” he continued. I sighed. Time to take this a little more seriously. I know Edward was serious about it. And a little angry, if also resigned and guilty. Sensing a pattern.

“What suspicious characters?” I asked, trying to sound concerned.

“The Cullens,” interrupted the other man. He was older, and looked angry. The other man smacked him in the arm, annoyed. I raised an unimpressed eyebrow.

“Why, I hope you aren’t slandering the name of the doctor and his family,” I said, sounding surprised. “And you have some evidence to back that up,” The man in the wheelchair corrected him.

“Not at all,” he assured me. “Merely that there have been some dangerous characters hanging out in the woods recently. There have been a couple of bodies found and we heard your daughter was handing out in the woods with one of the Cullens.”

Nice save. Jessica was a blabber mouth. Not unexpected. The local tribe taking an interest was. And Edward feeling resigned about it was interesting. There was something going on there.

“I will speak with my daughter,” I promised. Beth would get a kick out of this. He nodded and silenced the other man with a look.

“If anything happens, we’d be happy to help you out, you guys living so close to our reservation and all,” he added. “I’m the chief, Billy Black. Please reach out.” I frowned. That sounded like genuine concern for my wellbeing.

They knew.

I don’t know how exactly they knew, but Billy Black definitely knew that Edward and the others were vampires. No doubt in my mind. I would have to look into that.

“Thank you,” I said, instead of voicing my real thoughts. “I understand your concerns.” Billy Black nodded and smacked the other man and pointed at the wheel chair.

“Have a great day, ma’am,” Billy said before he left my front porch. The other man carried him down the few steps to the waiting truck as I said goodbye. Interesting.

I closed the app on my phone and turned to Edward, who was still staring at my phone. He was frowning, and obviously didn’t like what had just happened. His eyes looked up at the door and his head slightly tilted as if listening. Barely noticeable, really, but I was looking for something like that. He smiled at me a little tightly.

“So, music?”

I raised both eyebrows at him, just so he knew I was serious. Then I waited. He sighed.

“Carlisle did tell me that there have been a few killings in the area that look like that could be vampire kills,” he admitted under my expectant gaze. “Alice has been watching for them. She has seen them going north and away from here.” There was a thrill of fear, then a little righteous indignation.

“And you didn’t think to tell me before?” I guessed. Edward pursed his lips slightly. He obviously knew there was a wrong answer to this question.

“I figured the issue was going away and I didn’t need to worry you,” Edward tried to placate me. I huffed out a frustrated little puff of air.

“Edward, I am an adult,” I reminded him. “Tell me this shit. Don’t keep secrets from me like that, especially those that endanger my personal safety. What if I had decided to go for a walk in the woods?” Edward growled.

“I would have destroyed them,” he swore. I frowned as I tried to figure out how he would do that, then rolled my eyes at him. Again. That’s right. He’s an asshole.

“Because you were stalking me,” I chided, making him lose his righteous anger in some chagrin and regret.

“And I am truly sorry about that,” Edward repeated.

“And it will not happen again?” I prompted.

“And I will tell you if I’m going to watch over you again,” Edward conceded.

“Hell no,” I refused. Not happening bucko. “You will ask, or I will put a magic lojack on your ass and make sure you are where you should be. No one gets to tell me they get to watch me without my say so.”

“But there could be dangerous vampires in the area,” Edward argued, distressed.

“And I survived 65 fucking years without a babysitter, Eddie boy,” I bit out. “I do not need a babysitter now. I am not a victim or a damsel in distress and if you ever treat me like a… like a child again, I will…” I took a deep breath and let it out. “I will make you sit down with your entire family and mine and make you explain your actions in a rational manner and watch Beth laugh her ass off at your idiocy.”

“I just want to protect you,” Edward said, from his position pulled back a little from me.

“Then fucking ask and let me participate in my own fucking defence or so help me Gaia I will call up an entire colony of pixies and tell them to buzz around your head and play tricks on you until it stops being funny,” I ranted. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

“I have taken damn good care of myself and raised an amazing daughter alone,” I said flatly. “You will never. Never. Tell me what is best for me. It doesn’t matter that you’re physically stronger, or faster, or older. I am a fucking competent adult and you better fucking treat me like one. I love you, but get your head out of your ass.”

“You love me?”

Shit.

Chapter Text

I said it. The ‘L’ word. And I knew I meant it too. I didn’t know how knowing someone for 2 months made me able to say I love you. But, Gaia help me, I did. I loved the asshole.

“I can’t lie, Edward,” I said, losing my surge of anger in the face of he earnest expression. He took my hand and I could feel his answering love. It was overwhelming.

“I love you more than I have ever loved anyone, Amara,” Edward swore solemnly. “And I will do anything for your safety and happiness.” He paused and gave me a little rueful smile. “Even get my head out of my ass.” I laughed, and it was a little wet. Edward was fond and busting with devotion as he used his free hand to wipe the errant tear away.

“Yeah?” I asked, swallowing my tears as I was overwhelmed with emotions, good and bad.

The only person in the world that I loved more than Edward was Beth, but I’m sure he would understand that. She was my non-biological spawn. The child I raised. My precious amazing daughter. Now I had two people I would die for.

“Yeah,” he agreed. Then he got that little mischievous tilt of his mouth and I could feel the sarcastic asshole within stirring. The good kind of asshole.

“You complete me.”

I burst out laughing and clutched at his arm as the thought of tears fled. Asshole indeed. Thar was my kind of asshole. The perfect intonation of the delivery. Like that was an ordinary thing to say. Like he hadn’t just quoted Tom Cruise.

“You’re ridiculous,” I informed him. “And I have emotional whiplash.” I wiped my eyes. “I’m not sure if I’m cry laughing or laugh crying right now.”

“Why not both?” he suggested, with a smirk that was somehow endearing and fond, goddamnit.

“Ok,” I said, and took a deep breath. “We are going to cuddle and not talk about anything important for at least an hour. Then I am going to eat my feelings. I need rocky road ice cream, stat. But first, do your bathrooms have toilet paper?” Edward went a little wide eyed, glanced at the door and started to get up.

“Alice says she knows there is some in the downstairs bathroom and is bringing it up for you,” Edward informed me.

Shit. They all heard all of that. Vampire hearing. The fight. The unfortunate declarations of love. The snotty laugh/cry mess. And they were all going to hear me pee too. Sigh. Oh well. Better get used to it. Edward would have to get used to it too.

Alice knocked on the door with gentle quick raps that were in a rhythm I couldn’t quite place but made Edward amused. I stood after Edward and followed him to the door as he called for Alice to come in. Alice looked… impressed. She winked at me and handed me the partial roll of toilet paper.

“Esme is going to go grab some more and stock the bathrooms for you,” Alice informed me. I chuckled.

“Quilted please,” Alice grinned wider.

“Oh, I already texted her,” Alice agreed. I shook my head with a resigned sigh.

“Alice,” Edward admonished. “Not going to happen.” I looked over at Edward who was glaring at Alice, which just made Alice’s eyes sparkle with restrained glee. We were going have so much teasing Edward together. Alice and Edward were starting at each other with meaningful eye movements, deeping in conversation.

Right. Precog and a telepath. Yep. Empath downstairs. Possibly married to the precog.

“I’m just going to go pee,” I said, slipping past Alice. Alice and Edward were have a conversation via their eyes and powers. I rolled my eyes and left them to it.

This had been a tumultuous day, full of way to many feels. Edward had stalked me. I had revealed I was Fey to a room full of Vampires. Edward had done a vigilant-esk killing spree for years. Edward thought he was an unredeemable monster. Edward had treated me like an incompetent child. Edward loved me.

Edward loved me.

The butterflies in my stomach were now hummingbirds. Fluttering around and filling me with a feeling that wasn’t dread, but it’s close cousin. I was trapped, but I wasn’t trying to break free. I didn’t want to. I wanted to help him be the person I knew he already was, past the fear and guilt and possessive stalking.

For someone that was chronologically older than me, he was so young. It helped to think of him as 17. So immature. So much growing up to do.

I had my work cut out for me.

But first… I really did have to pee.

Chapter Text

Rocky Road is my fourth favorite flavor. And Beth and I had made extensive lists, during our college days. We disagreed on the top three, but four. Four was Rocky Road. Rocky Road has always been the go to comfort ice cream of choice, because we could agree on it.

So I was sitting in Alice’s closet, eating Rocky Road, and watching Alice flit around to try to find something for me to wear to this ‘baseball game’ of theirs. To be honest, I was looking forward to it. Baseball with vampires had to be more exciting than regular baseball. Or at the very least, less glacial. I would say it was impossible to be glacial, but if any game could stubbornly remain glacial, even when played by vampires, it would be baseball.

It had been a day. A fucking day. 24 hours of a nonstop mind-bending emotional rollercoaster. Because 24 hours ago, Edward hadn’t know about the scars. He hadn’t kissed me. I hadn’t known he had stalked me. He hadn’t said he loved me. Yeah. I needed my ice cream. And a hug from Beth. And from Wren. And Grandfather, but those weren’t exactly an option right now. So I was eating Rocky Road. Not the healthiest of responses, but, and it bared repeating, it had been a day.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t just eat ice cream for dinner. That would be a bad idea, on so many fronts. And Esme looked so excited for another opportunity to cook. So I let them have their fun. She wanted to surprise me with something for dinner. But first, ice cream. Edward’s protests in the name of health were silenced with a look. I was done for now. I needed a break. And full cream ice cream.

Thankfully, I was not dressed appropriately for baseball in a rainstorm. Or rainstorm adjacent, at the very least. The dress was too thin, even with paired with the leggings. I needed to be wearing sturdier shoes and thicker clothing. Alice demanded that we go upstairs and she ‘find me something to wear.’ Which was fine, as long as she knew I had final say.

And here I was, eating Rocky Road, sitting on a padded bench in Alice’s walk-in closet. The place was huge. Like, a good sized bedroom, renovated to only be a closet. I felt like I was in a boutique shop and Alice was the nice, if slightly pushy, owner, ready to make me look fabulous.

“Ok, what about this?” Alice said, showing me a pair of jeans that looked like I would need a tub of vaseline to squeeze into. I raised an eyebrow and she pouted. Then she waited. Huh.

“Not going to wear anything that tight, Alice,” I told her. “I still have blood circulation, and would like that to continue.” Alice zoomed away and was back a three seconds later with a different pair of pants. And then her eyes narrowed in thought when I looked at the wine colored pants. And she waited. I frowned. Why was she waiting?

“You already know what I’m going to say, right?” I asked Alice, making her raise a dainty eyebrow.

“Most of the time,” she admitted. “You are harder to read than most.” I smiled, knowing that was on purpose. Made it harder to see things that were fey related.

“If you know what I’m about to say, just continue the conversation as if I had said, it, unless your foresight tells you otherwise,” I instructed. Alice beamed. I paused. “My grandfather could see the future,” I revealed to her. “I’m kind of used to it.” Alice beamed brighter, if that was possible.

“Great!” She tossed the wine colored shirt to the side. “Black leather jacket with the white striped baseball shirt and distressed jeans it is.” I raised an eyebrow and she giggled. “I have the perfect boots and you’ll be plenty warm. Esme’s coat will fit with the outfit perfectly.” I smiled at her and raised an eyebrow. She rolled her eyes at me. “Fine, no make up today, but I am definitely dressing you up for prom.” I smiled and nodded. Alice sighed.

“And you get to pick the dress, I get it,” Alice allowed. “But I get to help.” I nodded and raised an eyebrow in return and Alice clapped her hands. “Of course you can!” she agreed to my almost asked question to help her pick out her dress. She was happy for a new shopping partner. So much easier and quicker than her waiting for me to respond verbally with what she knew I was going to say anyway.

Alice, true to her plan, found me the distressed jeans that were more rock and roll than was typical for her closet. More 80’s vibes than her victorian vibes. She explained that she had picked it up at an estate sale a number of years prior and didn’t exactly know why. Well, now we knew why. Her choices, and the choices of everyone, were leading this jeans to me. Amazing how foresight worked sometimes. Mysterious and frustrating, but amazing. You learned not to questions it, to a degree.

She laughed when I told her she wasn’t getting them back. They were mine now. Fit like a glove. Made my ass look great.

And Edward proved that when we walked down the stairs to join the others in the kitchen where they were waiting. Esme had made me a panini. The smell of it made my mouth water.

“I tried the panini press,” Esme excitedly shared. I grinned at her. The results of her labor were laid out on the counter. I could catch a glimpse of evidence of a couple of failed attempts in the sink and poking out of the trash.

“If it only tastes half as good as it smells, it will be delicious,” I promised her. And it did smell amazing. And made me realize how hungry I was. My stomach growled, to my embarrassment. And, of course, every single vampire in the room heard it. Emmet’s booming laughter filled the room, so infectious I had to laugh with him. Adorable labrador of a person.

The panini was nearly as good as it smelled, pesto spiced with melted brie and just the right amount of gooey. I took a picture of the inside of the sandwich and sent it to Beth, much to Esme’s gratified smile. It looked delicious and Esme should have been proud. Especially since I was pretty sure food smelled horrible to vampires. Something to look into.

“And I packed this for you,” Esme said, handing me a little backpack. I unzipped it and it was full of snacks and bottles. Water, gatorade, pretzels, fruit, chocolate. I teared up a little.

“Esme, can I hug you?” I said, handing the bag to a beaming Edward. Esme looked surprised and pleased. She opened her arms and let me embrace her. Her arms came around me and it felt so much like receiving a hug from my mother that a couple of tears did fall. Beth was many things to me, but she wasn’t my mother. She couldn’t be, not with how I had raised her. But Esme. I wondered how long would be appropriate before asking to call her mom. I hadn’t realized how much I had missed a mom.

I pulled back and wiped the stray tear from my eyes. Esme looked concerned but I smiled and waved a hand at her.

“I lost my mother very young,” I admitted, making her look sympathetic. “I haven’t had someone pack me a bag of snacks in decades.” Esme looked like she wanted to hug me again. Or cry. I grabbed her arm and squeezed it comfortingly. “Just. Thank you,”

“Anything you need,” Esme promised. “You’re with Edward, and we’re going to take care of you.” I nearly teared up again, but cleared my throat and wiped my eyes.

“I believe there is going to be a baseball game,” I said, not making eye contract. Thankfully, they took my hint and started telling me the plan and getting us downstairs.

Everyone was making a good effort to include me in the conversation. Everyone, that is, except Rosalie. She seemed offended by my existence. Which, to be fair, could be offensive to a lot of vampires. But I didn’t think my heritage had anything to do with her feelings towards me. Did she want Edward or something? I thought they were siblings. ‘Jealous of my mortality’ did not cover the angry looks I was getting.

When we went outside, there was a jeep waiting. And when I say jeep, I mean reject from a truck rally, jeep. the wheels came up to my waist, easy. I looked up at Edward where he was beside me and furrowed my brow at him. He chuckled.

“It’s a bit of a hike to where we’re going,” Edward admitted. I frowned. There was no way we would all fit in the truck.

“And I don’t get a piggy back ride because…” I teased, much to Emmett’s amusement. Jasper couldn’t fight a grin and Alice’s bell-like laughter filled the air. Edward fought an eyeroll. I could Feel it through our linked hands.

“I thought this would be more comfortable,” Edward said, with forced patience. I grinned up at him playfully.

“Ah, but much less fun,” I teased some more. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the impact resistant googles I had in them. Edward flashed an exasperated look at his sister and I couldn’t help but laugh. “See, I brought my goggles so I could see this time.”

“Why do you have those?” Edward asked, confused. I just smiled wider and raised an eyebrow. That was for me to know, and him to maybe, someday, to find out. They had been put to good use. He nearly growled in frustration when the answer wasn’t forthcoming and glared at my forehead like his telepathy would suddenly start giving him my secrets. Poor Eddie.

The google fit snug and I put the backpack on under the coat so it wouldn’t catch on anything before I jumped on Edward’s back when he knelt down. He straightened just in time for me to see Alice jump onto Jasper’s back with no warning, no that he needed any. Emmett offered his hand to Rosalie.

“What you want a piggy back ride too?” Rosalie said, perfect brow arched. Emmett grinned widely.

“Of course!” Emmett agreed, winking and moving closer. Rosalie pushed him into the grass, making him laugh.

“Beat you there,” Rosalie baited Emmett, before turning to run.

Laughter rang as we all raced off.

Chapter Text

I lay on the grass, staring up at the rolling storm clouds. Edward’s face appeared above me, eyebrows showing more concern than Rosalie’s whole body.

“Are you sure you’re ok?” Edward asked again. I gave him a thumbs up and a grin.

“That was the best roller coaster ever and I am so doing it again,” I said, a little breathless. That was… fast. So fast. So fun. I laughed. Edward frowned in disapproval, still worried. I flapped a hand at him, unimpressed. “Cheer up, Eddie boy.” I teased. Sitting up was easier after laying down for a minute or so. “Or I’ll ask Alice for a ride back.” Now he looked offended. Good.

“That, I would pay to see,” Jasper said quietly, looking between Alice’s dainty frame and my average one. I had a good 8 inches on her. It would be hilarious.

“Pictures would be necessary,” I whispered conspiratorially to Jasper, to his surprise and delight. “Please get Edward’s grumpy face in the background.” Emmett joined Alice and Jasper in laughter. Rosalie looked… well if she hadn’t have been so pretty I would have called it constipated.

The air with thick with potential. The air crackled with energy in the shadow of cloud cover. The overcast skies made everyone’s eyes sparkle with excitement. Edward nearly vibrated with it. Happy. His smile as he helped me to my feet included me in that joy. Made it ours.

He pulled me up into an embrace and spun me around in a circle, gentle, but happy. Always so careful, but unable to contain this joy bubbling up inside him. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and laughed happily. I couldn’t remember that last time I had felt this happy and carefree. When he made me happy like this, it was hard to remember the not so good parts. When he was like this, he was just my Eddie.

He pulled me down and pressed a kiss to me lips that was so soft and reverent it made me sigh slightly against his lips. His lips quirked up in a smile as he gently and chastely kissed me, making mine do the same. Then we were both smiling to much for it to continue to be be kissing and pulled back to grin at each other.

“The things you do to me,” Edward whispered to me, holding me up with he hands effortlessly. There was the dark of self hatred again from him. Guilt and depression. He set me down with care and pressed a kiss to my forehead, just as carefully. Reverent and saying goodbye and and oath all at once. I pushed myself up on my tiptoes and pressed a kiss to his cheek. telegraphing my actions clearly. He tilted his head to let me, a soft smile on his face. Adorable, even as his emotions wanted to pull me towards him and send me away all at once.

“Yes, yes,” Alice said, clapping her hands together. “You’re both very adorable. But the storm is about to start. ” Edward grinned like a little boy and was back to vibrating with excitement again. He pulled away and gestured me to Esme.

Carlisle was finishing marking the bases, very far apart in the large field, moving quickly between the spots. Edward ran over to get in position on the new field.

“Time to play,” Alice said prancing away. As soon as she’d announced it, thunder cracked nearby, proving her point. I winked at her, to her pleasure.

“Eerie isn’t it?” Emmett joked, grinning. Teasing me. I laughed.

“Convenient,” I teased back. He laughed, encouraged, and made an abortive mood to punch my shoulder, only to turn it into a fist bump. I, of course, returned it. He was delighted and ran off to join the others on the field.

Esme led me over behind the home plate, having me stand behind her. Good thinking. One of those balls they were tossing about would hurt. Like, a lot.

“You’re the umpire?” I asked Esme, looking at Alice and Jasper tossing a incomprehensible blur back and forth.

“Someone’s got to keep them honest,” Esme said, indulgent and happy.

“Who cheats?” I asked, looking around. Alice wouldn’t be able to help some of the cheating. Neither would Edward. But they wouldn’t want to ruin the fun for their siblings either.

“They all do,” Esme said. Jasper sent me a wink. I rolled my eyes at him, to his amusement. I could hear Alice’s laughter.

“Then I’ll keep an eye out,” I joked, knowing I would miss most of it. “Mom’s go to keep them in order, right.” Esme chuckled.

“I do see them as my own children, in most ways,” she agreed, confirming my suspicions. “I never could let go of some of those instincts.” Esme looked… wistful. “Did Edward tell you that I lost a child?”

“No,” I admitted. It had seemed like Edward as skipping some things. But it was her past to tell. And maybe this was the time she chose to tell it. Bonding and all that.

“Yes,” she said, voice a little melancholy. “He died a few days after he was born.” I took her hand and squeezed it in sympathy. She was reminiscing, but not deep in grief. “That’s why I jumped off the cliff.” I gripped her hand a little hander. She gently squeezed back. To have tried, only to wake up, and know you can’t… I couldn’t imagine. “Edward was the first of my sons.” Her joy at the thought of Edward and her children was so pure. I had to smile up at her fondly.

“And he obviously loves you and all his family,” I assured her warmly. She was such a sweetheart. So warm and inviting. She made me want to hug her, and I knew it would feel safe, in that maternal way of hers. Such a mom.

“Edward has been the odd one out for so long,” she said, feeling longing. “I have been so worried. He was so lonely: I could see it.” I had guessed the same. I squeezed her hand again, making her look back at me.

“Well, he’s got me now,” I promised. “I’ve been alive this long, and fey don’t age, so I’m going to be with you for a long time. I believe we’ll be a pretty good fit.” There was fond amusement and disbelief coming from her now. Why?

“We will love you no matter what you believe or what you are,” Esme said, pulling me into a gentle hug. Huh. Like, that was sincere, but what? Did she not believe I was telling the truth?

I was distracted from pressing for answers by Emmett stepping up to bat. He was a big guy, but with Alice pitching, this would be fun. Alice threw, and I barely see the blur of the ball as it met Emmett’s blurred swing.

The impact of the two was… well.. thunderous. It echoed around the clearing and up into the surrounding trees and to the mountains. The resounding crack. An explosion of sound. It really did sound like a clap of thunder. I grinned, ignoring the ringing pain in my ears. Should be worth it, for watching a game like this.

“That’s got to be a home run,” I whispered, seeing how far Emmett had hit it. He zoomed around the bases, getting a high five from Jasper after crossing home plate.

“Out!” Esme announced. Emmet cursed under his breath. Esme pointed out Edward as he appeared in a tree, holding up the ball. I could tell he was grinning. I laughed at Emmett’s expression.

“Fast little…”

“Emmett,” Esme said warningly, and Emmett cut himself off, glancing at me. I stuck my tongue out at him from behind Esme’s back and he just grinned back, beaming. I’d never had a big brother.

“Emmett’s the strongest,” Esme said, which Emmett puffed up a little at. “and Edward’s the fastest.”

“I had wondered why you put the telepath and the precog on the same team,” I mused.

“Their abilities can only help them so much, if they can’t physically make it to the ball,” Esme reminded me. I grinned. Good. Edward needed to be challenged. I really liked the expression on his face when things didn’t go his way.

The game continued, showing me that baseball could be a lot more interesting when there wasn’t a lot of sitting around waiting. Rosalie stepped up to bat, confident and looking like she stepped out of Vogue. Not the others weren’t pretty. But Rosalie was a goddess. Like, my fingers were itching to sketch her. To try to put on paper her beauty and strength. All while knowing I would never do it justice. But I would damn well try.

She got a hit and made it to first base before Edward could get to the ball. Then Jasper hit a ground ball, and Carlisle dived for it, reminding me that he wasn’t just a good country doctor. It was easy to forget Carlisle was one of the stronger of the coven, with his demeanor. Then he crashed into Jasper at the first base, making a sound that reminded me of stone giants wrestling.

“Safe!” Esme called, and the two got up and brushed themselves off. It would take more than that to break their skin. I remembered. I let the feeling wash over me, with the memory, and took in Esme’s protective stance in front of me. I was safe here. Esme wouldn’t hurt me. Not from what I had felt. Jasper sent me a look from across the field and I smiled and nodded at him. I would be fine.

Then Emmett stepped up to bat. He winked at Rosalie and sent the ball flying. Edward didn’t manage to catch that one, but did get it to Carlise to get Jasper out. Not before Rosalie sailed over home plate for her run. Poor Emmet avoided a tackle from Edward, only to be tagged out by Alice, waiting right behind him. I clapped. I couldn’t help it.

Edward beamed at me as he raced over to my side and the teams switched.

“What do you think?” Edward teased, throwing a casual, if careful, arm around me shoulders. I looked up at him, grinning.

“That was the most exciting inning of baseball I have every watched,” I admitted. I side eyed him as he grinned. “Could have been faster.” Alice and Emmett burst out laughing and Jasper was obviously keeping it in. Edward kept in the eye roll, but pulled me in for a kiss, partially to shut me up, I’m sure. It was chaste and light and quick and perfect.

I was sorely tempted to give him a tap on the ass and a ‘good game’ when he turned to take his turn at bat. I wasn’t up for the whistles from Emmett. Edward also would be scandalized, and as much as I wanted to tease him, I didn’t want to cross any actual lines, and we hadn’t discussed him. I also didn’t want the first time I got my hands on that delicious butt to be in front of his mother.

Anyway, Edward was obviously showing off for me when he winked at me and sent the ball sailing. He made it all the way to second before Emmett came back with the ball. Carlisle then impressed me more when he hit the first home run of the game, bringing both he and Edward round to home plate.

Our celebrating was interrupted by Alice’s gasp. Edward stiffened and blurred over to my side. Something bad then. A threat. Possibly not immediate. He was a worrier.

“What is it?” Jasper asked, moving over and putting a hand on her back for emotional support. Alice eyes flickered to me.

“They are faster than I thought,” she said, looking horrified and apologetic. “I had the perspective wrong.” She was obviously beating her self up. A threat to me. Fast.

The visitors.

“What changed?” Jasper asked as my ears rang. Jasper sent me a concerned look. Edward wrapped an arm around me. I leaned into him. They were coming. They would find me.

“They heard us playing and changed their path,” Alice said. Everybody had made their way over to be in a circle, with Edward and I.

“How soon?” Esme asked, worried. She was glancing at me. She was worried about me. They would protect me. Edward would protect me.

“Five Minutes,” Alice nearly whispered. “They’re running.” She looked dismayed. “They want to play.” They all turned to Carlisle, who faced Edward.

“Can you make it?” he asked. Edward was already shaking his head, hands gripping my arm just on the side of bruising.

“Not while carrying her,” Edward admitted. “They could catch the scent and then…” I swallowed. And then they would hunt me down. Hunt me down and… A wave of calm came from Jasper and I looked over at him with grateful eyes. He nodded at me, looking pained.

“How many?” Rosalie asked, looking like she was mentally preparing for a fight already. For me. Alice held up three fingers.

“Only three,” Emmett dismissed. “Let them come,” He puffed up his chest a little, and I knew he would protect me.

The family all looked to Carlisle. His brows furrowed in thought, eyes tracking nothing. They all waited for him to make a decision. He sighed.

“We will continue to play,” Carlisle announced. “They may only be curious.” He looked at Edward and Edward nodded. Edward and Esme switched so that Edward could be back with me.

“Are they thirsty?” Esme whispered quickly and so low that I’m sure I wasn’t supposed to hear it. I tried not to panic in the less than second it took for Edward to shake his head. I leaned into him, trying to hold it together.

“Put you hair down,” Edward said, looking at my braids. I shook my head, stopping Edward from trying.

“That would take more than 5 minutes,” I told him, to his frustration.

“And I can smell her 30 feet away,” Rosalie muttered, barely in my hearing. Edward glared at her.

He took his hat and put in on my head, desperate. I reached up and adjusted it. Then I saw my bracelets and remembered. I relaxed immediately. Not all the way. But. Fuck if it helped.

“I’ve got some protection, magically,” I told Edward, hoping to relieve some of his fear. It did the opposite. “It’s going to be ok.” Edward pressed a slightly desperate kiss to my forehead. Disbelief and fear filled me form him.

Everyone returned to their positions, or modified versions. The outfield wasn’t quite as far out. Everybody was bunting. No one was keeping score or track of anything. The game was over. All that was left was… the situation. The wait. Edward’s stance was towards the West, waiting.

Minutes of tense near silence later, the Cullens turned to the West, and started moving into a loose protective formation in front of me. I clicked my bracelets together and took a deep breath. It was going to be ok. I wasn’t alone.

“I’m sorry Amara,” Edward whispered. “I should have never risked you like this.” He sighed. Then he whispered so low that I knew he didn’t know I heard him.

“Your blood was always going to be on my hands.”

Chapter Text

The shadows moved, coalescing into human form. Well, not exactly human.

Three vampires, so in sync with one another the hairs on my arms stood up. Their walk was too fast. Their movements too fluid. Their positions feral as two of them flanked a third. The pack leader. And it was a pack. The Cullens were a coven. This. This was a pack.

And I was their prey.

They were lions, prowling closer, watching for threats and prey alike. Barefoot, they stalked forward in complete silence. It felt like the only sound in the clearing was my pounding heart. They would surely hear it.

The three of them were cautious as they approached the Cullens, with the respect afforded to a much larger and presumably more powerful group. Their deference let me take a slightly freer breath. Carlisle looked every bit of a leader as Jasper and Emmet flanked him and he stepped forward.

I tried to distract myself by looking at the disparities between them. The Cullens, with their designer clothes, matching hats. Clean and meticulously groomed. Then the strangers. They were in water proof jackets, fraying, worn and neutral. Not meant to be seen by pleasant company. Their blood red eyes nearly made me shiver. They would know. They had to know. They would…

Their apparent leader was an olive skinned man, tall and muscled. He smiled and I had to swallow at the sight of his teeth. Gleaming and bright.

The woman with him had red hair that was nearly unnatural in its vibrance. Her eyes were quick as they darted from person to person. She spent longer on me. She knew something. Something bad. The blond man to the other side exchanged a look with her. What was between them?

“We thought we heard a game,” said the apparent leader. He had an accent that was french, but with a mild creole slant to it. He looked more Louisiana than Paris. “I’m Laurent, and these are Victoria and James.” He gestured to Victoria and James in turn, each slightly behind him to either side.

“And I am Carlisle,” Carlisle said, polite and welcome, more than anyone else could have managed, I’m sure. “These are my family. Emmett and Jasper.” He gestured to his sides. “Rosalie, Esme, Amara, Edward, and Alice.” He didn’t single out any of the second group, just including me in the family. I would have been touched, is I had the mental space for that right now. Instead, I was gathering my power and remembering old exercises, practiced for reasons just like these.

Well, maybe not just like these.

“Do you have room for a few more players?” Laurent asked, just as polite and well mannered as Carlisle. a friendly meeting in the woods for a ball game. Carefully casual.

“We were just finishing up, unfortunately,” Carlisle apologized. “But we would certainly be interested another time. Were you planning on staying in the area for long?” Please say no.

“Headed north,” Laurent corrected, to the collective relief. “But we were curious to find you in the neighborhood. We haven’t had company in quite a while.” Not vampire company, anyway. I doubt they counted humans as anything other than food. I held in the shudder. It wouldn’t do to react.

“No, this area is empty, except for us,” Carlisle admitted. “And the occasional visitor.” The tension in everyone’s stance eased as the conversion moved to Carlisle admission that they had a permanent residence, and there was another in Denali to the north. Laurent was curious. James was more so.

“How do you manage to stay somewhere permanently?” Laurent asked, for the group.

“Why don’t you come back to our home where we can explain,” Carlisle invited, ever the optimist. I wanted to curse a little. Inviting them over? No way in hell. “It is quite a long story.” James and Victoria shared a look at the word ‘home.’ It did not bode well. Laurent controlled his expression too fast for me to tell what he thought of it, but I didn’t think he was the biggest threat here.

“That would be most welcome,” Laurent agreed for the three of them. “We have been on the road for a time, and would welcome the opportunity to clean up.” He looked at our nice clean clothes with a little bit of envy. I almost expected Carlisle to be wearing an ascot, so that was fair. They would be more at home in a country club, then their back woods vibes.

“We would appreciate it if you would refrain from hunting in the immediate area,” Carlisle asked, apologetic. “We have to remain inconspicuous, you understand.” And bloodless bodies showing up everywhere would not be under the radar, as it were.

“Of course,” Laurent agreed readily, to my relief and everyone else’s. “We will not encroach our your territory.” Nothing about the sanctity of human life. Nope. Not important. “Anyway, We ate just outside of Seattle.” I fought a shiver.

“Come run with us, and we’ll show you the way to our home.” Carlisle invited, smiling warmly. So optimistic. I remembered the feeling resonating through Edward as he told Carlisle story. Believing the best in everyone. Carlisle told Alice and Emmet to go with Edward and I to go first. James and Victoria were amused and relaxing. It was going to work.

And then it all when to absolute shit.

A strong breeze blew from behind us, whistling through the air and winding around us, taking my oh so human scent right to James. James’ head whipped around to look right at me surprised and calculating. His posture changed subtly, screaming danger and predator.

Then Edward was in front of me, pushing me behind him, taking a defensive pose with a little snarl of warning. James dropped his facade of civility, instead crouching, and trying to feint past Edward.

“Oh, you brought a snack,” Laurent said, confused, but obviously catching my scent. Edward growled again. If it had been directed at me, I would have pissed myself. He was fast. Strong. And it was all focused on protecting me. I just had to convince myself it was going to be okay. Victoria was behind James, looking ready to flee or fight. Laurent stepped forward.

“She’s with us.” Carlisle said firmly. Laurent looked at him, his red eyes confused, but he straightened and stepped back.

“A human?” Laurent was confused, but curious. James feinted to the side a little and Edward was moving to counter as he did so. Neither moved forward.

“Yes,” Carlisle said, and Emmett echoed him, he and Jasper stepping forward, reminding James of their size and presence. James moved back and straightened from his crouch.

“It seems we have a lot to learn about each other,” Laurent said lightly, trying to defuse the new, stronger, tension in the air. It didn’t work.

“Yes.” Carlisle’s voice was now cool and missing the earlier welcome. Laurent nodded.

“As we said, we will not hunt in your range,” Laurent said, making Jamesa and Victoria look at him sharply. “We would still like to accept your invitation.” James and Victoria shared a look, before Victoria’s eyes started flickering from person to person again. Carlisle thought for a moment.

“We will lead the way,” Carlisle agreed. “Alice, Emmett?” Alice and Emmet went to us. Edward, was by my side and leading me away. putting me on his back. I shut my eyes and kept breathing.

Edward smelled just like he always did. Too clean and sweet to be human. A little like sandalwood. Crisp linen. Just familiar. I let him ground me. Emmett and Alice were behind us. And now that I was out of a surprise situation, I realized that Alice’s foresight would have gone a long way to protecting me. All of us. And Edward’s telepathy made him know exactly what they were thinking.

What James was thinking. What James was thinking when he faced off with Edward over the right to kill me. I shuddered and held on tight.

We came to a stop. I looked around. We were still in the woods.

“Why are we stopping,” Edward asked. “We need to get her far away from them.” He stiffened before Alice could answer.

“If you take her away, he will never stop, and eventually he will win,” Alice warned. “We need to end this here.”

“I’m up for a fight,” Emmett agreed. It filled me with warmth. I slid a hand to touch Edward’s neck a little.

He was terrified. Terrified in a way that sent chills down my spine. So worried and so full of love for me. He held me tight but with a reverence that I didn’t deserve. No person deserved this level of unhealthy reverence. I was a person, not a deity. It was intense and scared me almost as much as his own fear for me. He wasn’t thinking rationally. Which meant we had to for him.

“We’ll go home,” Alice told Edward. “Slowly. They’ll be gone by the time we get there.” Edward trusted this. He still wanted to run. “She’ll be safer with all of us around her.” That was true. There was no place safer than with all of them.

“You don’t understand,” Edward said. “My reaction. It made this the perfect game.” He was full of guilt and horror and I was going to drown in his emotions. I pulled my hand away before he could pull me under with him. I took a deep breath, much easier. It made my fear small, in comparison. Manageable.

“Let’s go back to the house,” I told Edward. “Let everyone help us decide what to do. I’m not going to run for the rest of my life.” Edward was torn, but followed Alice and we headed back in a round about way to the house.

Chapter Text

Edward carried me through the woods at what would have been a run for me. Alice’s visions were leading us, from what I had guessed from their actions. Emmett was keeping close, ready to defend. His great bulk and strength was a big deterrent for most vampires. Alice didn’t seem worried, which, in turn, made me much less worried. When the precog is calm, so are you.

We ran back to the house. By which I mean they ran and I clung onto Edward’s back like a monkey backpack. It was a lot less fun when Edward body was a hard line of tension and anger. It was all directed inward, from what I gathered from my brief touches to his neck. He hated himself with the same intensity as he worshiped me.

We arrived at the house in the darkness. My need to be safe was nearly overridden by my need to pee at this point. It was getting urgent. And I really didn’t want to pee on Edward. I was really looking forward to this bathroom trip and tried to send a message to Alice that I needed that main floor powder room to be stocked.

We went quickly through the main doors and into the living room, Emmett leading the way with Edward and me behind. Emmett growled before I knew what was happening. Edward joined him and I got a shiver down my spine. I peeked over Edward’s shoulder to see.

Laurent was standing in the middle of the rest of the Cullens. Laurent made no move to approach, and Edward relaxed. He even set me down. Must not be a threat then.

“He’s hunting her,” Edward bit out, accusatory and aggressive. Laurent, on the other hand, looked peaceful and apologetic.

“I was afraid of that,” he admitted with a sigh.

There was movement in the room. Alice was whispering fast and low, too fast and low for me to hope to hear, right in Jasper’s ear. They fled upstairs together. Rosalie moved to Emmett’s side, but not before making eye contact with me.

The pure hatred and anger in Rosalie’s eyes made me step back. There was only one vampire to fear in this room, and the was her. What had I done to offend her? I knew she didn’t like me, but this was different. I moved back a little further away from her, trying to remind myself that she was on my side. In theory, anyway.

“What are his plans?” Carlisle asked Laurent, voice cal, but cold.

“The boy set him off in the clearing,” Laurent said.

“How do we stop him?” Carlisle ordered.

“Nothing can stop James when he is on the hunt,” Laurent said. He sounded regretful, but it felt like show. Like he wanted the lifestyle Carlisle had and this was part of that.

“We will,” Edward swore. He stood tall and glared at Laurent, as if just his announcing it would make it true. Yes. You’re a badass vampire. Posturing happens. Could we hurry this up so I can pee?

“I have never seen anything like him in my three hundred years,” Laurent admitted. “He is determined and lethal. It’s why I joined his coven.” Yes, we get it. You’re the Beta male here. I got that from how you’re looking to Carlisle for his approval every third word. Could you leave so I can pee?

Laurent looked at me, appraising. Edward stiffened and postured even more. Laurent was confused. He looked back to Carlisle, his red eyes widening as his brow furrowed.

“Are you sure the human is worth it?”

Edward roared. Laurent stepped back. He cringed and looked to Carlisle for guidance once again.

“You’re going to have to make a choice,” Carlisle said. Fuck. This was serious. But I really did just want to go pee. Laurent deliberated for a moment.

“I am intrigued by the life you’ve built here,” he admitted, surprising no one. That wasn’t the real question, though, and he knew it. Drama queen. “I think I will go up north to Denali.” Good for you. Now… go do that? “I will not go against James. But I will warn you, do not underestimate him. He will come at you sideways.” He looked at Edward earnestly. “I am sorry for what has been unleashed here.”

“Go in peace,” Carlisle said and I was relieved when he left. I scurried off to the bathroom. As I walked, huge metal shutters sealed up the glass walls.

The relief of an empty bladder was huge. I took a deep breath and let it out in the privacy of the bathroom. Bracelets disengaged, relying on this family of mostly strangers. I took out my phone and texted Beth.

Me: Having a situation. Call when you’re free.

Beth: Give me a few minutes.

I was grateful she was some to head back soon. That would make it easier, if the Cullens couldn’t handle it. And with Uncle Henrick. Well. It would work out.

I joined the others back in the living room. I heard them talking far sooner that a human would have been able to and paused at what they were saying.

“We should turn her, Edward,” Esme said. I frowned.

“Her mind is fragile.” I raised my eyebrows t Edward’s assessment. Fragile? Hell no.

“The venom will fix her mind, Edward,” Alice said. Alice too?

“Do all of you think I should turn her?” Edward accused.

“No,” Rosalie said, obviously angry. “You should leave her alone. Let her live her life, after all of this.”

“I just want her to be happy and safe,” Emmett said, and I could hear the shrug in his voice. Good old Emmett.

I took a deep breath and let it out. They would learn. They would all learn.

I walked towards the living room again and the conversation shifted to handing out jackets to go into the woods. Alice was wearing my clothes from before, probably for the scent still on them. Not a bad idea, but not subtle. I had a feeling James was a little more subtle.

Esme, Rosalie, and Jasper were going to stay back with me, to protect me in the house while the others all search to kill Victoria and James. Weren’t those both names of British Royals? Amusing and distracting. I hated myself a little for my panic earlier. I wouldn’t make the same mistake again. Childhood trauma would not make me freeze again. Even if those red eyes and that hair were… No. not going there. They would die.

Edward pulled me into a tight embrace and breathed me in. I didn’t say anything. He wasn’t ready fo me to get angry and rant at him for not believing me. Now was not the time. There would be time later. Once James was dead.

The group sped off into the night, leaving me with my bodyguards. I sighed and turned to Esme.

“I never got a chance to try those snacks you packed me, and I should probably try to eat,” I suggested. “Is there a better location in the house for me to eat that would be more defensible?” Esme turned to Jasper.

“Here is fine,” he told me, not looking around. I went over to sit in front of the wood burning fire place in one of the sofas there. There was a beautiful oak coffee table, solid and probably at least 100 years old. I made sure to use a coaster.

I was most of the way through eating when Beth called.

“Hey Beth, you ready the talk?” I asked when I picked up the phone. Who knows where she could have been in London when I texted

“I was just in the shower,” Beth said. “Got home from the pub a little while ago.” I smiled.

“Is Uncle Henrick still partying with the 20 somethings?” I asked with a chuckle.

“Of course,” she confirmed. “They love him. Adorable little old man who can hold his liquor.” I smiled, remembering the last time I saw him.

“So, there is a little situation,” I admitted.

“Blueberry icecream bad, or Vegas bad?” Beth asked, getting a little serious.

“We ran into a few red eyed vampires tonight,” I led with. Beth inhaled.

“And?”

“And now one of them wants to hunt me down as his prey,”

“Sweetie, where are you?”

“I’m at the Cullen’s house, three vampires guarding me with metal shutters down,” I informed her calmly. “I am safe as houses right now.”

“I’m flying home,” Beth said. I could hear her starting to pack. I sighed.

“No, take a plane in the morning,” I said, hoping to dissuade her. “Flying all night just makes you wings tired. No point. I’m safe. I’ve got my bracelets, I remember my spells, and I’ve got three vampires back ups.”

“You have to text me every 4 hours,” Beth ordered. I smiled.

“I’ll set an alarm when I sleep.”

“Then I will see you tomorrow.” Beth was serious.

“Love you, Nugget,” I told Beth, half humorous, half not.

“Love you too, Tater Tot,” Beth said back, just the same, but with more sass. Always more sass.

I hung up to find all three vampires in the room staring at me. Esme looked sad, Jasper looked worried, and Rosalie…

Rosalie looked furious.

Chapter Text

“You’re gonna get yourself killed,” Rosalie spat. Esme put a calming hand on her and Jasper had to take a step back. As did I. That was a lot of anger. Like, a lot.

“No, I’m not.” It was a reflex. Shouldn’t have said that. It made it worse. She stepped towards me, aggressive enough that I could feel Jasper trying to send us all calming vibes. They weren’t working.

“You’re not a fucking fairy,” She scoffed. “Pictures in the fire? Touch empathy? My gran could do that.” I inhaled. “Just a little hedgewitch with delusions of grandeur.” She nearly spat in my direction. “You’re going to get us all killed. Or worse.”

Oh.

That made a lot of sense, actually, with that context. If she had a grandmother with a minor gift… Oh.

I looked around at the room and my eyes lit up on the fireplace. I gave it a little smile. Which had the side effect of making Rosalie growl again. Shit. I met her eyes.

“Not delusional,” I promised. I held out a hand in her direction, then unfurled it, palm up. Fire blossomed there before her eyes. She moved back a step too fast for me to see. Esme gasped. The fire ball grew and Jasper sent another wave of calm. I turned and winked at him, before tossing the fireball into the fireplace. From over 10 feet away. Esme blurred out from being near its path, even though it wouldn’t have touched her.

I gave them all a wry grin and let my eyes flash gold. There was shock on their faces. And a little fear on Rosalie’s. Part of me felt a little joyously vindictive about that. But, I let it fade and shrugged at them. I made the table float about foot in the air and held it there as a tried not to smirk.

“I also have a green thumb,” I admitted. “But making flowers grow in your direction is hard to do inside. But if you ever need to know where North is, just ask.” I pointed it out for them. “Its that way, by the way.” I set the table down.

“You’re suicidal.” Rosalie voice was barely above a whisper. “Why the hell did you reveal yourself to vampires?”

“Edward,” Rosalie was taken aback. I sighed. “Just Edward. He’s worth it.” I shrugged and held out my hands in supplication. “Le coeur a ses raisons que la raison ne connait point.”

“Fairy tales,” Jasper said, catching Esme and Rosalie’s attention. “True love.” I nodded and sat in the arm chair opposite them. True love indeed. With a mate that didn’t believe me.

“Edward believed that you were part fey,” Esme revealed. “But hedgewitch made more sense.” It was true that some hedge witches had fey blood in them. A minor amount of fey blood would be much more reasonable.

“How fey are you?” Jasper stepped back.

“Little over half.”

“Shit.” Rosalie sat down with a nearly inelegant thump. “I knew you were trouble.”

“I think you’ll find that I wasn’t in any danger until I went to a vampire baseball game.” I crossed my arms pointedly. She raised an eyebrow back, unimpressed.

“You were in danger from the first time you willing sat next to a vampire, you idiot.”

“Ok then.” I rolled up my sleeve and held out my wrist to Rosalie. “Prove it.” She recoiled, as did Esme and Jasper. Jasper fled to the other side of the room. I huffed out a laugh. “Thought so.”

Rosalie was interrupted from her next argument by the ring of my cell phone. Huh. I held a finger to my lips.

“It’s my house phone,” I explained. They went still and I put the phone to my ear.

“Amara?” came Beth’s voice, startling me.

“Beth?” I asked, confused. She was in England. I talked to her minuted ago. Laughter filled the line. Male laughter.

“Your precious Beth is safe, as long as you do exactly what I say.” I bit my lip and did my best not to laugh. Really? You have Beth? I took a shaking breath.

“What do you want?” I hoped the shaking in my voice sounded like fear. James was really going to try to fool me with one word from Beth. That’s it? I was tempted to call him on it, but needed to know what his plan was.

“You are going to meet me, alone, at an address I send you,” James informed me. “If I see anyone else, she dies.”

“And you’ll let her go?” I asked, trying desperately to sound afraid and hopeful.

“It’s only you that I want,” James promised. “She’ll be free.” I let out a slow breath. “Promise me you’ll come alone.” I winced. This was going to suck.

“I promise I’ll come alone.”

Lies.

My head flashed with pain so bad I locked my knees. Jasper was half way across the room before the first drip of blood from my nose stopped him in his tracks.

“Good,” James said. Jasper stopped breathing and Rosalie was fighting with herself. Over what I wasn’t sure. She was so hard to read. “See you in a one hour, or you will never see her alive again.” The line went dead.

I set the phone down and went to wipe the blood from my nose with the back of my hand. Rosalie was at my side with a box of tissues and a metal trash can, before she blurred away again. I took a few and started to clean up.

“What’s the plan, little fey?” Rosalie said, crossing her legs. She had obviously come to some sort of decision, and her eyes sparkled with barely contained mischief.

A slow grin spread across my face as the plan took form in my mind. This was going to be fun.

Chapter Text

The building had been abandoned for so long the bushes had grown to cover the bottom halves of the grayed windows. What was once a lively gold refinery was now decommissioned and showing 20 years of patchwork boards keeping the teenagers out. It was at the edge of the town, near a little tributary. It was quiet here. I could here the sound of birds chirping in the trees around me as the engine cooled. Distractingly peaceful.

I clicked my bracelets together and engaged their spell. Not permanent. And wouldn’t stop everything, but it was amazing how much better I felt. I swallowed the very natural fear and squared my shoulders. I could do this.

The side door was partially opened, waiting for me. Not ominous at all. I left my phone and anything breakable in the car, including my earrings. I was tempted to take off my jacket to avoid the blood stains, but Esme could probably get them out. Especially if I asked nicely.

The gravel was loud under my boots. The tributary babbled slightly as the birds tried to warn me to run. We didn’t need to share a language for them to be screaming at me. Run. Predator here. Death awaits.

My smile was grim. Death did await. But it awaited him. Not me. I needed to play my part now. The others would do the rest. Beth. Pretend Beth was at risk. Even though she was on a plane coming here. Not that she told me or picked up her phone.

I slowly walked through the door, taking time to swipe my hand over it to leave my smell. The building was quiet, echoey, and very suspiciously empty as I walked deeper in. The others would follow. I had to trust that. I had to trust that Rosalie would follow the plan. That Jasper would do his part. That Esme believed me. I took a slow breath. They would come. I could totally do this.

I walked in farther, expecting James to come out at any moment, feeling as ready as I could be. The light of the moon came in through the upper windows bathing the rooms in soft light. One spotlight. That was…

Beth.

Beth’s blue dress. White trim against the blackened floor. Brown hair with its precious streaks of grey limp and tangled. Prone. Broken. Still. Too still. Beth was never still.

I scrambled over the dust covered floor. She. No. Not her.

Never her.

Blue dress shimmering in the moonlight. Smell of lavender and honeysuckle perfume. Cold of the concrete beneath me. Gentle, trembling, hands to brush the hair back.

No.

I cried.

It wasn’t Beth. Dead lifeless eyes stared up at me. But not Beth’s. Beth was safe. I gasped for breath and closed my eyes. My little Starshine. Safe. She was safe.

“Sorry about that, Amara.” James’ voice was condescendingly echoing from behind me. I whirred to look at him. Dressed in a blue henley and blue jeans, he looked like just another nameless asshole frat boy who would drop out before graduation, and it would be the only noteworthy thing he did in his life. Totally unremarkable. Weren’t vampires only supposed to turn hot people or something?

“Isn’t it better that Beth isn’t involved?” he said. He was trying to be kind, in his way. I shivered at the thought. Kindness was killing this innocent old woman, dressing her in Beth’s stolen clothes and having me find her. This was his kindness. Shit. He asked me a question.

“Yes,” I said. My voice cracked. Still wet from crying. Embarrassingly, too. The body of the poor dead woman was too… small to be Beth.

“It was so easy to trick you.” James smiled, teeth glinting in the moonlight. I didn’t let the terror rise. I had this. We had this. They would come. “Humans are so gullible.” I didn’t respond just swallowed. I was on one knee, a couple of handful of steps from him. It would take nothing for him to be next me. To attack me.

“Do you think Edward will avenge you?” James asked. He was genuinely curious. And desirous. He wanted Edward to avenge me. And I wanted him to not get what he wanted.

“I hope not,” I said, trying to buy some time for the others to sneak into position. Keep him distracted for as long as possible. “I don’t want that for him.” James smiled. The kind of smile on the face of a politician’s son who knows there isn’t a thing you can do to him. I wondered if that smile was the reason he was chosen. The reason he was turned.

“I hope so,” James said, showing some actual emotion. Real emotion and not the fake eerie kindness. “I do so love a challenge.” He stepped forward in a calculating move. “You are no challenge. It took so little effort to manipulate you. So fragile and stupid you humans are. Leaving your protectors willingly, For what? An adoptive parent?” Fuck you.

“One little visit to your house and I had nearly everything.” He was gloating. “Humans are so indistinguishable that you didn’t even notice it wasn’t her.” That poor women. I felt guilty, but relieved that I didn’t recognize her. She must have been so afraid.

“So you see, this little chase wasn’t nearly up to my standards,” James said. “And I think I’ll do you a little favor.” He brought up is left hand and showed me the… the fucking video camera. The fucking creep was recording this. Little fucker.

“You can even say your goodbyes to you precious Edward,” James said, that eerie kindness dripping from his words again. “Tell him how much it hurts. Beg him to save you.” He smiled, joy lighting he features. “He will chase me till he dies to avenge you. What fun we’ll have.” His smile was, oddly flat. Not creeping my out as much as it should have. Performance issues, I guess.

“I’m so glad Edward didn’t try to run with you and ruin my fun.” This was becoming a villain monologue. And a bad one at that. B for effort. Shit. He was still talking.

“and the only one that managed to escape. Imagine my surprise to see her in the field.” He was setting the camera on the stand as he spoke, checking the angles. “Her visions would have had her burned at the stake not a hundred years before. Then the asylum. When he turned her, her eyes saw sunlight for the first time.” He was reminiscing. About Alice?

“I burned the old vampire slowly of course,” James admitted, speaking in confidence. We were friends now, apparently. “He spoiled my fun.” This was spoiled rich kid energy. Did you ever have a bedtime?

“It’s quite an honor, actually, for your Alice to have survived. The only one to escape me.” James said, moving to the side to face me. He was preparing for something, obviously. I hoped I gave everyone enough time. Shit was about to go down. I felt the energy boil within me. Burning him was going to be… as he would put it… fun.

“You won’t be so lucky,” James smirked slightly. “I’ll give your Edward a call after we’re done playing so he can come pick up my message.” His smile widened. “And then the real fun begins.” Who writes his speeches? Was he a Bond Villain or something.

Then James stepped one foot back and fell into a crouch. His forward foot pointed down on tiptoe. One arm close to himself, the other out towards me. So close to himself that they would never do any good. Limp wrists and unsteady posture and I … well.

I snorted.

I couldn’t help it. It was so incredibly bad I had to laugh. This was the most dweebish vampire I was ever going to meet. Spoiled little rich kid indeed. Did you learn that from an anime?

Then his hand was wrapped around my throat. Growling.

Anger. Thirst. Bloodlust. Lust for my body. Craving for violence and pain. My pain.

I retched. It was so much. I could feel the awful core of him, pushing itself into me. Trying to take me over and I forced down the vomit.

The glass around us shattered. The calvary had arrived. I had no breath to beg them to save me. I would have begged. Instead, I held on as he sunk his teeth into my right shoulder, deep into the meat. I tried to scream.

A force like brick wall ran into us from the side. James growled again and tighten his grip on my throat before flinging my rag doll body into the cinder block wall.

My head hit.

A flash of pain in my neck.

Black.

Chapter Text

“Please wake up,” I heard Edward plead in the deep lake of my mind. I surfaced, and could feel that my face was being carefully touched by cool, gentle, and loving hands. I was overwhelmed by the number of things he was feeling. All so strong. “Please. Amara. You can’t die.” I could hear Carlisle trying to calm Edward; to no avail. His hands were gentle as he stroked my limp body where I lay on the cold concrete. Why? Right. Vampire edgelord with an exhibitionist streak. He was forgotten when Edward’s hand brushed my hair out of my face I Felt his sharp anguish. I struggled past the pull of blissful unconsciousness and forced myself to open my eyes. Anything to relieve Edward’s pain.

He let out a sound that would have been my name, had his voice not have been flooded with every one of his unshed tears. My eyes focused on him as he gently stroked my face. My heart stuttered as it tried to regain its normal steady thump. Each pulse sent a fizzle into my spine and up into my neck, where it stopped with burning stab of wrongness. I shuddered at the pain and tried to reach up to make it stop.

“Don’t move,” Edward said desperately, stopping my wandering hands. They were mostly numb and having some trouble finding my neck. He caught them in one of his and brought them to his mouth to kiss them. Another stab of pain had me trying to move my head to make it stop. Make it stop. Edward’s superior strength held my head still. Why?

“Please,” Edward begged, “Don’t try to move your head. We’ll get you to the hospital. It will be ok.” No, let me move my head. I was dizzy and Edward’s panic was overwhelming. He yelled for Carlisle and his fear and guilt was making me reel.

“Edward,” Carlisle said, leaning over me next to Edward in my limited field of vision. All I could see was them and the beams of the ceiling above us. My arms were mostly numb and not obeying me. Shit. I must have severed the spinal column. “Amara, can you hear me?” Carlisle had his fingers to my neck, checking my pulse, before freezing. His feelings were compartmentalized, but the regret was strong. “Edward, she was bitten.” And didn’t I know it. The whole bite burned, but it was fading already.

“Let me go,” I begged. Edward’s grip tightened instead.

“I’m not letting you die on me,” Edward’s voice was hard and his horror was plain. I swallowed. I didn’t have time for this shit. There was yelling and fighting behind Edward and I wanted to go burn James’ body. I had things to do and this was a pain in the neck. Heh. Not exactly the time for joking. Edward was terrified.

“The venom should be spreading,” Carlisle said, frowning down at me. It wasn’t spreading, obviously. Take a hint.

“Because I can’t be turned,” I bit out. “Get off of me so I can get up.” Carlisle sat back a little and Edward doubled down.

“You’re not fey enough for that,” Edward insisted, devastated and frantic, distractedly glancing at Carlisle. “Help her!” he demanded. Carlisle wasn’t convinced.

“Let her go,” Carlisle told Edward. Edward shook his head and set his jaw.

“No, she’ll die,” Edward insisted. Shit. He was half hysterical. I internally sighed, frustrated. This was really starting to hurt as the nerves healed, tried to connect, and failed. This was taking too long. I was going to miss burning James.

“”Edward, take a deep breath and smell my blood,” I told him as calmly as I could. “I’m not screaming in pain. I need you to smell my blood and let go.” Come on Edward. I could feel the panic, but couldn’t break though it. Edward’s face snapped up to look at Carlisle. Carlisle looked calm and nodded.

“Edward, she’s right,” Carlisle said, as Edward’s eyes went wide. “She’s fey. Just take a breath and let go. Let me set her neck.” Edward froze in place for a long moment. He was in turmoil, but gaining hope and confusion. Then he took a mechanical looking breath through his nose. His eyes fell on mine, wide and shocked. Emotions rioted as he mentally jumped through hoops of realization and confusion. All right there with the bloodlust and shame that I feared, but knew would come.

Carlisle’s gentle fingers took over on either side of my face as they, just as gently, pried Edward’s away. Carlisle’s calm precision and genuine concern washed over me, with his much more tempered bloodlust. He felt around my neck, finding the wounds from James’ teeth healed and the neck mostly just dislocated at this point. He met my eyes.

“This is going to hurt,” Carlisle told me, a rueful smile on his face. I gave him one in return. “Brace yourself.” I closed my eyes and grit my teeth, while trying to relax my neck and torso. The pop and crack of my neck popping back into place with a quick twist made me whimper in pain, but it was over in a flash. I opened my eyes as Edward’s hands brushed stray hair from my forehead. I rolled my shoulders as the rest of the nerves reconnected with little zings of pain that made me grit my teeth as the numbness faded. He was so concerned.

“Let me sit up and do this thing,” I said, starting to push myself into a standing position. Carlisle felt my neck with a frown.

“You are still healing,” Carlisle chided. I shrugged, hissing a little in pain at the action. “You should lie down for a minute. I pulled myself up to sitting, looking around. Emmet and Jasper were pulling James’ arms off to join his head on a growing pile of lumber in the warehouse. I smiled.

“But I really want to go burn James’ body to a crisp,” I winked at Edward. “Call it closure.” Carlisle sighed but helped me up to my feet. I stretched out my arms as they woke up, a bit of pins and needles going through them. My legs to, needed a moment. I sighed as they settled back to normal. “Awesome. Let’s go light him up.” I grinned at Edward and snapped my fingers, making a flame. Edward’s eyes glanced down at the flame, but were mostly trained on my face, concern in their gaze.

“You should rest,” Edward insisted, concerned as he slid an arm around my waist in support. “You could have died.” I chuckled.

“Not likely,” I dismissed. “Not with cold iron immunity going and this much fey blood. Worst that could happen is some uncomfortable and painful shit. That’s done, so now I get to burn the bastard!” I started making my way over to the pile of body parts that used to be James. Emmett and Jasper had done a good job. Rosalie looked me over from where she stood by the unlit pyre, her eyes lingering on my neck. She gestured to the pyre, welcoming me to do the honors. The others stepped back, Edward stubbornly remaining at my side.

I pulled my hands together and rubbed them building a fireball between them. Edward’s shock rang through me, but he stayed where he was, still full of concern and guilt. I built the fire, bouncing it back and forth until it was big enough. Then I lobbed it the 10 feet into the pire. James’ eyes met mine, blood red and afraid, unable to scream as fire engulfed his head.

I brushed off my hands and looked up at Edward. He stared at the fire in shock.

“Told you I was Fey,” I said smugly.

“No fey in their right mind would expose themselves to a vampire.” Edward’s voice was dull and mechanical sounding. Autopilot. Poor baby. “You had to be an eighth, at best.”

“Three quarters, actually,” I corrected. I grinned up at him. “And maybe I’m just crazy for you.”

“I thought you just meant you had a stronger than usual connection.” Edward said, sounding faint. “I didn’t want to offend you.” I shrugged, glad the pain was gone.

“What about the bite marks I showed you?” I was a little confused. One eighth fey wouldn’t have survived that.

“They don’t look like bite marks.” Edward was thinking hard and purposely not making skin contact, from what I could tell. Fair.

“They look like chicken pox scars, faded until only a vampire could see them.” Carlisle came up behind us to watch James burn.

“Or stars,” Edward added. That was romantic. He was getting brownie points for that later.

“Because I got them when I was five, Edward.”

“Five?” Edward echoed, horrified.

“Yeah.” I stretched my neck to either side and sighed in relief. Edward was obviously holding himself back and was worried. “I’m fine.” I showed my neck and shoulder and wiped away the blood with a free hand. It was kinda getting all over the place. “I was held captive and bitten a lot. Now I’ve been held captive and bitten again. At least this time it was with back up and a plan. It happens.”

Edward pulled me in to his chest and tucked his head into the unbitten side of my neck. His worry and relief flooded me, along with the somewhat muted bloodlust. He was full of adoration and love.

“You are not leaving my sight for a week,” Edward mumbled into my neck.

“Pick a house so I can take a nap on top of you.” I wondered when he would realize that wasn’t an agreement. “I can’t attract more homicidal vampires if I’m asleep.”

“You are a menace.” Edward whispered, clutching me tighter. I leaned into him and let him take my weight. My bravado was waning and I was exhausted. The adrenaline crash was coming and it was not going to be pleasant.

Chapter Text

Edward insisted on Carlisle checking me over thoroughly, or as thorough as he could be without a doctor’s bag and a lab. The only complaint I had was a mild headache. I disengaged the bracelets to save their magical battery life, as I liked to put it. Really, the clean up wasn’t very complicated. They made the fire look like a bunch of homeless people keeping warm, arranging the floor of the warehouse and letting the fire burn itself to embers, safely away from other flammable things.

Edward refused to run me all the way back to the house, citing the recent neck snapping, or as he put it, neck injury. I was ready for some more adrenaline. I considered convincing Rosalie, but she did not look impressed when I asked Edward, so I refrained out of self-preservation.

Carlisle identified the corpse James had dumped as an old woman with dementia who is often found wandering. He promised that he will handle it and lifted her easy as anything. Esme went with him as back up in case Victoria, the red head, was wandering around nearby for revenge. Sounds like a stupid plan, but she was stupid enough to sleep with James.

Edward insisted on carrying me bridal style over to where Jasper and Alice waiting with a Jeep. Rosalie and Emmet came with us as bodyguards. He ran, but as fast as a normal human, not the fun rollercoaster speeds I knew he loved. I refrained from egging him on to run faster only because he was still so worried and afraid. James must have scared him badly, putting me in danger like that. He would realize I was safe and healthy soon enough.

At the Jeep, Rosalie had me dump the jacket and overshirt into a metal trashcan, leaving me in a cami. I sighed over the loss of the jacket. At least the pants were saved. I cleaned up the blood off my skin with antiseptic wipes three times before she was satisfied. Those all got burned too. At least I got to start the fire. Periods were going to be fun around this crowd. Yes, fey blood was delicious, but they could hunt more to help with that, couldn’t they?

In the Jeep, Edward pulled me into the back and onto his lap. I could tell he was still paranoid that we were going to be attacked again. Emmett went to the roof to keep guard at his order, proving my hypothesis nicely. Eddie was not going to calm down until we were back at home base. He pressed a fierce kiss into my hair and took a deep breath. He was terrified and… angry. Maybe he was still angry at James. He had been plenty angry before. Same with the red head.

We made it back to the Cullen house in the darkness of near midnight. The house was lit up, as Alice and Rosalie had run back ahead of us. Alice said that she didn’t see anything else happening that night, but we knew as well as she did that the future could change. Alice met us at the door with a cozy throw blanket. Edward was reluctant to set me down, but Alice gave him a stern look.

“Shock is bad for humans, Edward,” Alice chided, as she tucked the cozy cream toned throw around my shoulders. It was some sort of soft animal fiber, fluffy and warm. I hadn’t even noticed that I was becoming chilled without the overshirt and jacket, still keyed up from the fight and destroying James. I shivered a little and burrowed into the blanket. Edward wrapped an arm around my shoulders over the blanket and led me into the house. Jasper was already stocking a fire in the fireplace and there was a love seat moved closer for Edward and I that Edward went straight to.

“How are you feeling, Amara?” Alice asked as Edward sat down on the love seat, already pulling me into his lap. The metal shutters were still down around me, but open to let in the starlight. Alice really wasn’t concerned about another attack tonight then, or they would be closed. I glanced at her and raised an eyebrow. Alice chuckled. “Yes, the red head has decided to run for her life. She is heading far east right now, and not planning on coming back, as far as I can see.” The Cullens were a large and scary coven to take on alone, especially now that they had destroyed James. “That doesn’t tell me how you are doing.”

“I’m actually pretty pleased with how that went.” I smiled and Alice gave me a strange look that smoothed out to pleasant and neutral quickly. “It’s always cathartic to burn kidnapping homicidal vampires.” I hummed in satisfaction and snuggled into a still mostly stiff Edward.

“You’ve done this before,” Jasper said, standing up from the fireplace where the logs were catching nicely. Didn’t even need to help them along. Well, he was a former soldier. He probably had built a fire or two over the years.

“Yep,” I agreed, nodding. “Not too often, but often enough that I knew it would be satisfying.” I heard the front door open and close, but when Edward didn’t even look up, I knew it was Esme and Carlisle.

“Weren’t you afraid?” Jasper asked. “You felt it.” I shrugged.

“The fear makes it better.”

“Were you just as reckless those other times?” Edward’s voice held a barely contained fury. The bite of fear and love tempered it, but only just. “Did you walk in, alone, unarmed, and unprepared?” I was shocked into silence.

“We heard you laughing at James,” Jasper said into the tense silence. “You egged him on.” I frowned.

“He was being overdramatic and ridiculous.” I was confused. This wasn’t that big of a deal. “It’s not like anything he could have done could have killed me.”

“He could have ripped your head off,” Edward practically yelled. I made a face and shivered. Ew.

“That is never fun,” I agreed. “Takes days to feel right again after.” I tilted my head, considering. “But it’s not the end of the world. The worst is when you don’t have back up coming to kill him. I had back up coming. Its not like he would have been able to do much in that short of time.”

“Just maim and torture you.” Edward’s voice was softer, but no less angry. “You didn’t even let me know.” I frowned.

“Alice would have seen.” Alice shook her head, looking a little upset with herself.

“Esme texted.” Carlisle revealed. “That’s the only reason we were there in time.

“But Jasper, Rosalie, and Esme were all there already, so it was already four on one.” I pointed out in a tone that was definitely not a whine. Unfortunately, I was crashing. I was getting more dizzy and achy. I didn’t like this part. I yawned without wanting to. Edward sighed in frustration.

“You’re exhausted,” Edward said, sounding a little defeated, poor thing. He’d adjust, with time. “We should get you to bed.”

“After dinner,” I amended. “Gotta eat again.” Esme stepped away.

“I’ll go whip something up,” she offered. I thanked her, fighting another yawn.

“I’m going to go use the bathroom again,” I told Edward, who reluctantly let me up off his lap. He was still angry and scared and protective. I halfway wanted to melt into his embrace, but also really needed to pee. I walked by the window and saw a flurry of movement in the sky. Familiar movement.

“Beth!” I cried, running for the door with a burst of energy. Edward was on his feet and grabbed me long before I reached the door. I twisted to look up at him with a pout. “Beth is here. I need to go meet her and prove I’m alright.” Edward’s eyes were on the sky, wide and afraid.

“That’s a dragon, Amara.” I rolled my eyes.

“Yeah, and?” I struggled to get free. “Beth is awesome like that.” Edward’s grasp weakened and let me go to the door. I opened it and walked down the steps just as the sea green dragon landed gracefully on the Cullen’s manicured lawn. The light from the house glimmered off her scales as she fanned her wings wide before settling them at her side. Show off.

I ran to her and hugged her leg. There was a rumble of a laugh and Beth shifted, shrinking in that twisting way of hers that fit something the size of an elephant into person shape. Her human shaped arms wrapped around me and I hugged her tight.

“Ama, what trouble did you find?” Beth chided. I chuckled.

“Just one vampire, and he was a sadistic prick,” I complained. “Monologued and everything.” Beth hummed thoughtfully.

“You wish they’d skip the torturous lecture and get with the stabbing,” Beth agreed. Edward cleared his throat from behind me. I turned and let go of Beth.

“Beth, this is Edward.” I gestured. “Edward, this is Beth, my adopted daughter.”

“You didn’t think to mention she was a dragon.” Edward was a little breathless.

“It’s rude to share someone’s species without asking,” I chided. “It’s also rude to ask. I assumed you had manners.” Edward just nodded absently as the rest of the Cullens, minus Esme, joined us outside. “Anyway, I’m part archfey and part nature sprite. Beth is a dragon. Surprise?” I turned to Beth. “They have rocky road.” Beth grinned.

“Then let’s eat it and you can tell me about your adventure,” Beth agreed and we starting walking towards with house.

“Oh, I should have snapped you a picture; His eyes when I lit him on fire were very satisfying.” Beth nodded.

“They always are.”