Chapter Text
Black pepper and sour lemons greeted Casey before strong arms stole her breath in a wave of copper.
The move had been so unexpected that when The Beast finally stopped on her balcony, Casey’s mind was still left reeling, trying to understand what had happened. One moment she’d been stepping out of the parked car, the next she was flying. Even now, her feet still dangled in the air, her chest pressed against The Beast while her hands rested on those locked around her.
The Beast dragged his nose up and down the column of her throat. Whiskey slowly drowned in honey as his frustration and annoyance began to fade.
Casey grinned, patting his shoulder. “It was the smart decision.”
The Beast growled, holding her closer and burying his nose in her hair.
Casey bit back a laugh and didn’t argue with him.
Casey knew how much The Beast had hated having to keep his distance. She’d taken the smaller streets as much as she could and at every stop, she had caught his scent growing more and more aggravated at being apart from her.
Planning, when it came to The Beast had involved more losses then victories and it had only been the others persistence and Casey’s arguments that had made The Beast agree to keep his hands off of her until she was home and wouldn’t have to worry about bloodstains and an abandoned car.
When she’d brought up The Beast’s habit of leaving her covered in blood after each of their interactions, Barry had turned crimson and immediately stuttered a string of apologies. Casey had had to reassure him that she really didn’t care about the blood, but if she had to fetch their car in bloodied clothes and without a driver’s license only a mile from a crime scene, she was definitely asking for trouble.
The Beast hadn’t liked the idea, but he hadn’t dismissed it the same way he had the suggestion of wearing gloves or a mask. And, after he’d feasted and they had made sure Betsy was safe, he had been soaked in sour lemons but he had kept his distance.
The Beast’s growl shifted into a purr that rumbled between their chests and warmed her blood. Satisfaction filled the air.
Casey closed her eyes and savored the moment.
Casey hadn’t lied to Barry. She couldn’t care less about the blood already drying on the side of her neck, or the stains that would be left on her clothes. She wasn’t afraid of The Beast or his touch. She hadn’t been afraid of him since their first meeting and being held by him now, after he’d ripped apart someone who took pleasure in causing pain, made her feel as if his strength was her own. She was unstoppable and protected. She was valuable and fierce.
With death still between his teeth and the taste of whiskey heavy on thick on his skin, Casey felt like a huntress proud of her kill.
Bleach, stoic and strong, hid rising sulfur beneath its chemical fragrance and an unflinching expression.
He had been hiding it for days.
Casey had thought, at first, that it was The Beast’s mess that had set Dennis off. He had panicked after King and a repeat hadn’t been unexpected…
Except Dennis hadn’t acted the same way he had then.
Sulfur hadn’t surged while his body shook with panic. The sulfur had thrummed in the background before Dennis’s veins had even had a chance to revert to crimson. He had cleaned, motions lacking frenzy and moving almost robotically while the clouds strangled any hint of blue in his eyes.
There were no more conversations. There were no more smiles. There were no more puffs of amusement.
There were no more touches.
That night, Casey had reached for him like she always did.
Dennis had flinched.
Casey hadn’t found the courage to reach out again… and she was starting to doubt Dennis would ever reach for her.
Samantha Flores. Patricia had savored the pretty name on her tongue. She imagined it tasted like rotting fruit and raw meat.
Patricia had preened with pride when the reporters on screen had shared gruesome details and statements from traumatized witness. She had nearly praised their intelligence when they noted that Flores’s death and King’s had too many similarities to ignore.
The Beast had just begun to cleanse the world and already people were noticing.
Then the reporters had shared a plastic look of insincere sadness. They had repeated that Flores was leaving behind a family. They had tried to bring a sense of tragedy to the story by telling people she was leaving behind a little girl.
Patricia had smiled in fury at their gall. The little girl, the woman was “leaving” behind was finally free. This was a time for celebration not pity.
But, of course, the polished impures on screen wouldn’t care. After all, misfortune sold better than happiness.
Once more the news had bypassed the reason for her death and had instead focused on the “savageness” of it.
That, Patricia agreed with. The act was feral, violent, and savage and despite Patricia’s manners, she found it exquisite.
Patricia was satisfied with this feast. Even better, so was everyone else. Despite a few half-hearted protests about morality and justice and all that nonsense, there were no more arguments. The other alters were finally, slowly and surely, beginning to accept The Beast as their savior.
Their eyes were opening to the better world they were creating.
A world where they could live without nightmares and scars. A world where their Casey could stand proudly by their side.
“How are things with Casey?”
Barry pulled at his gloves. He shrugged at Dr. Fletcher. “Good. She’s starting her classes again next week and she just started working as a waitress last week.”
Dr. Fletcher nodded, waiting for more.
Barry stayed quiet. He didn’t know what else to say.
“When was her last dance party with Hedwig?” Dr. Fletcher tried.
Barry chuckled, studying his plain black gloves. “Tuesday. They watched the Lion King and Hedwig is still singing that lion song. He really connected with Timon and Pumba.”
The room fell silent again.
“The others seem comfortable talking about Casey. Some of them are even eager to do so.” Too eager, in Barry’s opinion. Samuel and Hedwig’s sessions were full of stories and anecdotes. Patricia spent her brief moments in the light praising Casey and her “our.” Orwell talked about her intelligence and Felicia giggled about her imagination. Then there were those like Kat and Polly who rarely, if ever, made an appearance during their sessions who would even make comments while someone else was in the light.
It was all about Casey.
“Barry?” Dr. Fletcher asked softly. “What are you afraid of?”
Barry fixed his beanie.
Dr. Fletcher continued to stare at him with her caring gray eyes and concern written on her brow.
How could he explain? How could he tell Dr. Fletcher that Casey wasn’t just important to him, to all of them, she was becoming necessary? That their entire mornings were spent searching for her in the crowd at the zoo until she found them, a bright smile already curving her lips? That the evenings dragged until they were able to clock out and make their way to her apartment, all tension disappearing at the sound of her laugh? Or how Barry had never felt safer than he did on her faded blue couch with her beside him?
How was Barry supposed to admit to Dr. Fletcher that if they hadn’t completely fallen for Casey, they were more than half-way there?
Casey saw them and adored even the worst pieces and she still smiled as if they were the reason behind her joy. She was young and scarred and beautiful and deserved more than they all had to give.
Patricia was right: Casey was theirs and they were hers and Barry would do whatever he had to to make sure it stayed that way.
But Barry had always wondered if Kevin wouldn’t have been better off without them. He couldn’t help but echo the feeling when it came to Casey.
Barry felt the silence in his mind. He could practically feel the stares aimed at him, and the words that were beginning to take shape got caught in his throat.
He grinned at Dr. Fletcher. “You know, I had the best idea for a dress for you. Something simple but absolutely stunning. And I know with your eye for accessories you’ll absolutely claim the look and make it breathtaking.”
The concern deepened.
Barry cleared his throat. “I’m designed a dress for Casey.” He forced out, grin still wide. “Its layers of gold and green and kinda reminds me of a fairytale dress. Kinda has a romantic air to it.”
The concern dimmed and the beginning of a smile appeared. “Has Casey seen the design?”
Barry focused on Dr. Fletcher’s sensible heels. They were a lovely burgundy shade that complimented her taupe skirt beautifully. “She hasn’t.”
“Are you planning on making the dress?”
“I just need to find the right fabric.” He thought of the sketch, hidden between the pages of his sketchbook. Barry had been working on it from the first morning he had woken in Casey’s apartment and he’d realized her eyes were hazel. There were little parts and pieces that were improved almost daily and sometimes, he’d see it and realize how attached he was… How hopelessly lost they all were.
Barry wasn’t sure he was ready for Casey to figure it out, too. Once she realized… they didn’t deserve her, but they all wanted her to stay. This could either bring them closer or tear them apart.
“Might take a while, though.” Barry added. “Don’t wanna mess it up.”
Dr. Fletcher smiled, understanding in her gaze. “Of course, you should be sure before you get started. There’s no need to rush.”
Barry nodded, feeling himself relax into his seat. Dr. Fletcher was right. He liked what they had and Casey seemed to like it, too. There was no need to rush.
The Beast had always wondered: were they pieces of the whole? Or were they each whole, forced to live like pieces?
Most days The Beast believed the former. His peers acted like pieces; overemphasizing a single character trait while disregarding those that provided balance. They acted as if all they had to offer was the piece they were born to provide. As if that single piece defined their entire existence.
They were fighting that reality now, each one in their own way. Flores had shaken them. The woman’s impurity and the satisfaction they’d gotten from her death had rattled them. They were trying to act complete, but they’d lived as pieces for so long that trying to retake the entirety was unsettling the roles they had forced themselves into.
The Beast listened to the soft snores that fell from the chair beside the space he had claimed as his own.
The boy, their boy, Kevin Wendell Crumb, the whole they were meant to be, the whole they invaded, remained in his forever slumber.
Barry had made it his mission to rouse the boy, but fear soaked the air whenever Kevin so much as shifted in his sleep and it made Barry’s efforts, while honest not sincere. They were all too terrified of what Kevin might do when he awoke to do what was necessary. To prompt the spark that would bring brightness to his existence.
The Beast was not blind. He understood their fears.
Kevin had been praying for death longer than he had been alive. A shock, and there was no doubt their new life would be a shock, had the potential of prompting Kevin into finding another permanent escape. Dennis had been quick enough to save them from the first slice of their veins to the last bullet still in its metal casing. But Dennis wouldn’t always be so quick, and Kevin had proven to be tenacious.
They all believed the day was coming that Dennis’s luck would run out and Kevin would finally be faced with the consequence of his desperate desire.
The Beast knew the truth.
Whether the others were pieces or whole, they had been born in Kevin’s mind for Kevin’s sake. The Beast had been forged by the pieces the others had tried to rip from themselves. They believed he was made of purely hate and instinct, but there was more they had abandoned. The Beast was desire and freedom, faith and caution, strength and power… They had thrown what they believed to be weaknesses into the abyss of Kevin’s mind, never realizing The Beast was waiting, absorbing each piece into himself and learning and growing.
All of them had helped create him. All of them, except Kevin.
Kevin, believing his entire being was a weakness, never discarded a single part of himself. The others hid behind a trait. They pretended their weaknesses didn’t exist until the supposed weakness roared into existence between their ribs and refused to be hidden any longer.
Kevin never denied a single part. It brought him suffering and pain. It made escape impossible and release unreachable. But it was never denied.
The Beast knew that when Kevin awoke he would be afraid, but he would never again look towards death as a release. Once the truth of their lives settled in his bones, the strength Kevin held would shine and he would finally grow into the person he was meant to be.
Kevin stirred.
The Beast purred.
Kevin was waking.
The time was coming. Pieces or whole, they would finally be complete.
“I need you to stay away from my place today.”
The smile on Barry’s face froze. He gripped the phone tighter and pressed it closer to his ear. “What?”
“Mr. Benoit just called and he’s coming by to visit today but I’m not sure at what time and there’s absolutely no way he can see you.” Casey rushed out, her voice sounding breathless. “I’m on my way home but I still have to stop by the store to pick up some things and drop off those books I borrowed from the library. I’m not sure I’ll be able to make it to the zoo, either.”
Barry could hear traffic and random voices coming and going on her side. His words failed him.
Mr. Benoit?
“Mr. Benoit is Claire’s dad.” Casey answered Dennis’s question. Barry wasn’t sure if Dennis had taken over to ask or if she just knew that well. “He and Mrs. Benoit have been sort of looking out for me since… it happened.”
“Claire…” That was the blonde girl’s name. She was the first one The Beast had eaten…
“I have to go. I’ll call you later!”
Barry remained with the silent phone pressed against his cheek. She’d asked him to stay away. Casey didn’t want them there…
Why doesn’t Casey wanna see us? Hedwig pouted.
It aint forever, kid. Luke assured. She’s just keeping us safe is all.
Still feels shitty. Jade complained.
Barry silently agreed, putting his phone back in his pocket and trying to focus on work.
He understood why she didn’t want them there. It made perfect sense. Mr. Benoit had seen Dennis when he had kidnapped the girls. Of course, she wouldn’t want them there. She didn’t want to put them in danger. It was just…
Barry’s hands gripped the broom’s handle.
We should stop by. Barry didn’t need to see him to know Jalin’s eyes were lit with mischief.
Yes! Hedwig lisped happily.
She asked us not to. Mr. Pritchard scolded. We have to respect her request.
So, we’re not gonna see her all day? Hedwig whined. Just because some jerkface is here? That’s not fair!
We’ll see her as soon as he’s gone, Hedwig. Polly assured him.
I don’t like it.
You don’t have to like it, Hedwig. Just respect it. Dennis spoke, stern voice ringing with finality.
Barry continued to move almost woodenly.
There was this fear that iced his veins any time Casey wasn’t with them. This constant, gnawing worry that the longer she spent away the faster she’d realize she could do better. That the more time she was around other people, people who weren’t burdened with baggage so heavy even Atlas didn’t envy them, that she would realize just how difficult life with them was.
And she wasn’t just spending time away from them. She’d be spending that time with the parents of the girl they’d murdered. If ever there was a time to worry about her coming to her senses, this was it.
Barry knew Jalin was just stirring up trouble, but if Barry headed towards her place he doubted anyone would protest. Barry was pretty sure he could even convince Dennis…
Barry shook his head and picked up his broom.
Casey asked them not to go.
If Barry really hoped for any future with her, Mr. Pritchard and Dennis were right: Barry had to respect her.
“Your apartment looks wonderful, Casey.” Mr. Benoit smiled, walking through her living room with the scent of lavender drifting behind him. Casey shifted on her feet when he paused in front of the pictures she’d set out on her bookshelf.
On the highest shelf, there was a thick wood frame stained white that held her mother’s picture. The woman Casey had never had a chance to meet looked magical as she stood above the crowd on an ebony stage with soft lights twinkling overhead. Her face was frozen in a small smile that radiated serenity and she exuded grace as she was caught mid pirouette in a pristine tutu.
A warm chestnut frame held a picture of her parents. Her father was wearing a faded suit closer to gray than black, his arm around her mother who had on a short white dress that appeared like a watered down version of her ballerina outfit, and they were both wearing grins that lit their eyes with unrestrained joy. There was a generic red-bricked wall behind them and a simple piece of paper between them. It was a picture of their wedding day and it had involved only the two of them, a judge, and strangers but Casey had never seen that pure happiness in her father’s eyes when he’d been alive.
Beside the one of her parents was another of her father, two-year-old Casey being held in his arms. Despite there only being a little over three years difference between the two photographs her father’s face had aged a decade, his smile was heavy and his eyes still shown but the light struggled to find its way between the clouds. Little Casey, not knowing the difference, radiated happiness in her innocence and held up a stuffed bear in pride.
Mr. Benoit lifted the forest green frame and the air grew heavy with the salty taste of seawater.
A lump formed in her throat as she recognized the same heartbreak to his smile. Her eyes stung and she had to look away.
She caught sight of her peace lilies, growing beautifully in the sunlight. Casey stroked the leaves and the tightness in her chest began to ease as she pictured Norma humming as she carefully tended to the delicate plant.
“Who’s Hedwig?”
Casey startled at Mr. Benoit’s question. She looked up to see him holding a warm yellow frame, the forest green having been carefully replaced.
Casey felt her cheeks warm.
Hedwig had just been so proud when he’d handed her a drawn portrait of the two of them, hands linked with sunny grins under a yellow half-moon. Hedwig had happily pointed out the constellations he’d spent hours drawing, the same ones they’d watched a documentary on a few days prior. Hedwig had been both enthralled and lulled to sleep by the mountain of information that two hour movie had given them.
Casey kept all of Hedwig’s drawings. The portrait, though, had deserved to be framed. Oranges and joy had soared when he’d seen it and he always had a smug smile whenever he took the light.
Mr. Benoit smiled expectantly.
“He’s… um… my friend’s little brother.” Casey blurted out. “I babysit every once in a while.”
Mr. Benoit’s eyes crinkled. Saltwater soaked the taste of lavender. He set the picture down. “Why don’t we go grab something to eat and you can tell me all about your new friends?”
Regardless of his kindness and genuine affection for her, Casey knew he would never be able to look at her without wishing his own daughter was there instead.
Casey gave a tight smile. She wondered how much longer she could keep doing this.
Stop cleaning and just go to bed, Dennis. Barry sighed. Casey isn’t going to call tonight.
Dennis continued to scrub their already immaculate stove. “I’ll go to sleep when I’m done cleaning.”
Barry snorted. You’re never done cleaning.
Dennis didn’t respond, instead moving his focus to the counters.
Dennis-
“I’ll go to sleep when I’m ready.” Dennis cut him off before he could keep arguing.
Barry sighed again. Just don’t stay up all night, ok? We have to open tomorrow and Babygirl’ll probably be by bright and early. I’d rather we didn’t have big ol’ bags under our eyes when she sees us.
Dennis made a noncommittal noise.
Barry paused.
Dennis continued to clean.
Barry gave one final sigh before leaving the edge of Dennis’s light and returning to his chair.
Dennis waited.
When Barry didn’t return to the light and no one else took his place, Dennis put down his cleaning supplies and reached for the phone in his pocket.
There were no missed calls or messages.
He ran his hand over his head, his fingers itching to click on her name.
Casey had told them not to stop by, but she hadn’t said anything about calling…
Dennis put his phone back into his pocket. He grabbed a brush and started working on the wall behind the stove.
When Casey was ready, she’d reach out to them. Dennis was certain. They just had to wait.
Dennis scrubbed harder. Barry wanted him to sleep but Dennis knew that would be impossible without Casey at his side. With nothing else to do, Dennis did the one thing he was good at: he cleaned.
Dennis had finished a thorough cleaning of the kitchen and had moved onto the living room when his phone rang.
The phone was pressed to his ear before he even looked at the display.
“Did I wake you?”
Dennis felt his lips quirk. “No.”
“Good.”
Dennis began to pick up his cleaning supplies. “Mr. Benoit gone?”
“He and Mrs. Benoit actually left a couple of hours ago, but I know tomorrow is your early day and I figured you’d already be sleeping.” Casey paused as if realizing something. “Why aren’t you asleep?”
“Wasn’t tired.” Dennis replied, putting his cleaning supplies in their designated closet. He grabbed his keys. “Did you want me to come over?”
“Actually…” Casey hesitated. Her voice sounded embarrassed. “So, I figured I’d go for a walk, you know-”
“Casey.” Dennis growled. He knew when her voice grew fast it was time to worry. He clutched the keys in his hand and ignored his coat while marching straight for the door.
“I know.” Casey grumbled. “It’s not safe out and I shouldn’t be walking alone at night by myself. But it was so nice out-“
“It’s near freezing.” Dennis snapped, hurrying through the underground and towards the employee parking lot. His pulse was racing. Casey was alone and wandering the streets at night. Dennis wasn’t sure he was at all qualified to keep her safe but when she was with him, at least he was able to try. But he couldn’t do a damn thing for her when she was out there, alone.
“But it looked nice.” Casey argued.
“Where are you?” Dennis demanded. He’d let her recite her flimsy excuses after he was sure she was safe.
“See, that’s the thing…”
Dennis paused. He hurried towards the outer door. That phrase never boded well. “Are you alright?”
“I’m fine!” Casey assured him. “It’s just…” Her voice trailed off.
Dennis scraped his hand against his head. He stood still and waited. Rambling meant she knew she had done something reckless and wanted to make her point before he could interrupt, long silences, however, meant it was worse than he’d thought. Besides, there was no reason to get in the car when he didn’t even know where he was going.
“I’m outside.”
Dennis froze. “What?”
“I know. It’s too far and I shouldn’t have walked but it’s not that far and it wasn’t like I did it on purpose. I just kinda started walking and whoop! Here I am! I really didn’t even realize. I mean, I did halfway here, but I was almost here and I mean, I knew you’d be here and I knew I wasn’t going to sleep anyway so why not just keep going, you know?”
Dennis’s feet had led him to the zoo streets and when he caught sight of Casey, leaning against the zoo’s front gate, he breathed in disbelief. “You’re here.”
“And yeah, I did wonder if you’d be asleep. I mean, you really should be sleeping, Dennis. You work in like three hours.” Casey continued, her arms beginning to wave in emphasis. “But, like I said, I was almost here, and I figured I didn’t have anything to lose. I know you probably don’t want me here.” Dennis brow creased. Casey’s shoulders slumped. “I mean, I know you don’t, but…” she sighed. The sadness in the sound propelled Dennis forward. He ended the call and put his phone away.
Casey stood up. “I’ll just go.” Her back was still to him and the phone was still pressed to her ear. “Go to sleep. I’ll stop-“ He saw her pause when Dennis grew closer to the gate.
Casey spun towards him eyes widened in surprise. “Oh.”
Dennis unlocked the gate. He pulled out his yellow handkerchief and opened the iron gate for her.
Casey continued to stare.
Dennis scowled as he realized Casey was only wearing a short-sleeved shirt and baggy pajama pants. “Where’s your jacket?”
Casey blinked down, seemingly surprised at her bare arms. “Huh.”
He pulled the gate open further. “Get inside before you catch a cold.”
Casey glared. “You’re not wearing a jacket either,” she argued, stepping inside.
“Which is why I’m going inside, too.” Dennis replied, locking the gate behind them.
Casey rolled her eyes as she followed him towards the maintenance entrance. “But you were on your way to get me, weren’t you?”
“The car has a heater.”
“It takes a while to warm up.” Casey argued. Her head swiveled as she took in the darkened cages. “I’ve never been here at night.” She murmured, drawing closer to his side with a shiver. “I’m finding it more eerie than peaceful.”
Dennis settled his hand on the small of Casey’s back and hurried his pace. He needed to get her inside and out of the cold. “That may be why the zoo isn’t it open at night.”
Casey looked up at him, a teasing grin on her lips. “Really? And here I was ready to invest in a nighttime zoo.”
Dennis looked down at her, lips fighting not to twist into a smile. “You just called it eerie.”
“I said I thought it was eerie.” Casey corrected. “That doesn’t mean others will. People can be real strange, you know.”
The chuckle escaped him before he could stop it.
Casey’s grin was wide and her dark eyes bright.
Barry had asked him, the day after their first night with Casey, if Dennis had known her eyes were hazel.
Dennis hadn’t understood how Barry could miss something so obvious. Of course, he knew her eye color. He knew the shade changed, depending on her mood, but they were always hazel, always a mixture of earth tones and vivid greens.
He hadn’t understood but Norma had made an offhanded comment about Casey trusting Dennis and Barry had stopped asking.
Casey’s eyes were shinning now, in a way that always caused the green to spark to life. It was the same shine they had the first morning when Barry had been in the light.
Dennis swallowed. His amusement vanished. He withdrew his hand from her back. Norma had insinuated it meant Casey trusted him.
But Casey shouldn’t be trusting him.
He had thought, had hoped, he might be worth it. For a second, with her eyes shining that way, he had even begun to believe he was. Then the truth came to light and he realized just how much of a failure he would always be.
Dennis pulled open the door to the maintenance entrance.
Casey hesitated. The shine was gone. There was confusion lining her brows and dismay had shadowed down her grin.
“It’s warmer inside.” Dennis prompted.
Casey dropped her head. She wrapped her arms around herself and walked past him.
Dennis followed in silence.
Their steps echoed from the grate floors and around the pipe walls. Dennis’s steps were heavy and loud, Casey’s light and soft.
Dennis withdrew the keys from his pocket and opened the first gate with a heavy clamor.
Casey jumped.
She hadn’t been down here since…
Dennis cleared his throat. “I can take you home.”
Casey stared at the gate. “What did I do?”
Dennis’s fingers tightened around his handkerchief, the cold metal sneaking through and numbing his fingers. “You don’t want to be here.”
Casey shook her head. She frowned at him. “I don’t mean just now. I mean…” She pulled at the bottom of her shirt. She looked away. “You’re afraid…”
Dennis’s frown deepened.
Casey looked up at him, her own brow creased. She gave him a shaky half-smile. “It tastes like sulfur.”
This time it was Dennis who looked away. He had tried to hide it from her. He had tried to bury his emotions as far down as he could so she wouldn’t catch them.
Apparently, Dennis hadn’t done a good job.
Dennis wondered why he even bothered to be surprised by that fact.
Casey shifted on her feet.
“Did you want to stay here or go back to your apartment?”
Casey bit her lip as she studied the gate. She looked back at Dennis.
Dennis met her gaze. He couldn’t even see a hint of green.
Casey tilted her chin up and walked inside.
Dennis stared after her. He wished she had insisted on going to her apartment. Once he told her the truth, he doubted she’d ever feel safe around bleach again.