Chapter Text
Lex never foresaw attending an academy for assassins in his future, way back when he was a lad running around with kids his age. But who would? Most grew up, got dead end jobs, then fell into a loveless marriage with a few fucked up kids. His own father was left alone with three kids, and they were all fuck ups in their own way, and was stuck dealing with storage crates for the rest of his life.
Lex never wanted that life, but he settled with the idea when he saw the way his dad just barely made it to pay the bills. His brothers hadn't tampered with anything that week, and Lex supposed that was one of his dad’s best weeks in awhile.
When he was younger, just a few years before he skipped town and made a dash for San Francisco, abandoning the streets he once knew, Lex had a crush, a little bit of puppy love. There was some girl down the street from him, just as poor as he was, but her smile was so dazzling, everyone seemed to forget her family could barely scrape by each week. Lex fell for her little glamor, and followed her about like a duckling. She found it amusing, he supposed, and she never shooed him away. Lex had taken it in his stride, but it all fell apart on a summer evening when his brothers caught him staring at her wistfully when she was making her way home.
They teased him about it endlessly, and constantly threatened to tell her about his little crush themselves unless he did this and that for them. But he didn't care all too much, because in his little child like brain, he thought he wanted to spend his life with her, even if they were both dead broke and wouldn't be able to make a dime. He'd heard stories about shit like that, loving someone being the only thing to matter, even if the world was falling apart around you.
He rather liked the idea, really.
His little deal with his brothers only lasted a small while before they gave up and spilled to her. Lex hadn't expected much, but he was still heartbroken when she ignored him, and ran away whenever he got near her. The first time he saw that disgust in her eyes, he felt his heart break a bit, and the first time she ran as fast as she could away from him, he no longer believed in those love stories.
He'd been mad at his brothers for ages, but he got over it eventually.
He always did, ‘too forgiving’ his father said.
A few years after that, just before things really fell apart, he’d gotten another hopeless crush. Some kid he'd ran into at a shop, some kid who'd bought him a soda just because he could.
The kid wasn't poor like he was, and it dazzled Lex.
Later, when he was older, he joked that he was a gold digger from the start.
So, Lex was back at square one, running in circles to be around his little crush. He'd fight tooth and nail just to see them for a bit in the evening.
Lex found it amazing, he really did.
But he supposed there was a downside for everything because the kid was a boy.
He'd never been told wrong from right when it came to who you liked. He thought nothing of his infatuation, not until he grew a pair and told the kid he liked him.
Just like before, he turned heel and ran.
Lex supposed love wasn't all too great anyways.
His dad loved him, he knew, but it ended about there. His mother had left them, his brothers only used him for stealing shit, and the two crushes he had ended in Lex losing a friend and left with a cracked heart.
At least he had someone in his corner.
Until he didn't.
So he booked it to San Francisco because he heard it was used to the homeless, and anywhere away from his brothers was better than being stuck with them.
He still wasn't sure how he managed it, but he did, and he thanked his luck when he could.
He made it into King’s Dominion, somehow, after weeks on the streets, and then he was beat up on his first day.
It wasn't half bad, as long as you exclude the black eye.
He made a few friends, Billy and Petra, and, yeah, he was at the bottom of the food chain, but it was the best he'd had in awhile.
He'd settled into his spot at the academy, and he grew a thicker skin than he had before. He protected his friends and his honor and he got the nasty habits of drinking and smoking but he didn't hate it.
For his birthday, Billy and Petra broke out a fresh bottle of cheap vodka and they all drunk themselves into unconsciousness. He didn't get any presents and he woke up with a raging hangover, but that really didn't matter to him in the end. Because that night, for the first time in awhile, he felt like he had a family again.
He had a feeling like that again when he met Marcus.
He remembered how Billy came bounding on to the roof, arm stuck in a defaced cast and struggling to hold his skateboard, with the new guy trailing behind him. He'd been sharing a cigarette with Petra at the time and hadn't minded him much attention. But then Billy decided to introduce them all and he had to step up and talk to the guy.
He hadn't always liked Marcus, not really. At first he’d seen him as some sort of...threat. Here comes this new guy that managed to weasel his way into the heart of Billy with just a little look, and Lex had to actually put in some effort when he met the green haired little psycho. Marcus had managed to make Billy smile in an instant, and even Petra didn't seem opposed to him.
He thought he'd hate him, but then he spoke to him and his resolve came crumbling down.
Marcus wasn't a bad guy, not really. He went through some shit but he was still standing, and Lex admired that. He admired the way he kept kicking even when life tried to shove him under in the kiddie pool. He admired how he made Billy smile. He admired how he seemed to make people gravitate towards him with ease. He even admired the way he picked a fucking lock.
He just admired him.
Lex wasn't exactly sure when there was that switch, where he went from seeing Marcus as a new thorn in his side to wanting to jump his bones in one of the planter boxes, but it was here now and he had to accept it. He had to accept that, while he wanted to drag Marcus down with him, he couldn't have that.
Because Marcus didn't see him like that, and he was already so obviously head over heels for the lapdog of Lin.
So he took what he got and if that was kissing Marcus, just once, on the roof before class when he was sure the boy couldn't understand a word Lex said, he was fine with it.
Lex sighed and rubbed his face, shoving the cafeteria door open with his shoulder. He didn't need to linger on the thought of Marcus, especially when he had to sit through a lunch block with him. So he shook it off, loosened his tie, and went through the lunch cue, only trying to flirt his way to seconds with the lunch ladies once, well twice. He knew he wouldn't have eaten the extra food anyways, no one else would either, but managing to finagle extras was something he was always up to brag about.
Of course, one time Petra tried to stab him with her fork before he even got to open his mouth.
A fond memory, that is.
He haphazardly dropped down into his seat, slamming his tray down and almost rocking Billy’s drink over. When Petra gave him an unamused look, he matched it with a grin.
“Well, well, well,” he started, pushing his tray forwards and putting his elbows up on the table. “The Rat Pack meets again, devious planning to unfold. I say we color bomb the legacies again.”
Billy, from beside him, let out a snort, though he didn't look up from trying to balance Marcus and his’ cutlery together. Every now and then, Petra would glance at Billy’s little project, so used to his antics she only shook the table twice.
While Billy was still full of energy, Petra was on an unenthusiastic run for the day, apparently.
Maybe he should try to steal an extra pudding for her, Lex thought.
Marcus was a whole other story. He hadn't even bothered to look away from the stack of forks when Lex had made his way over, like he usually did, and flinched when he slammed him tray down. Now though, he was blinking confusedly, rubbing at his eyes.
“You do that again and you lose your mail job,” Petra told him, frowning as she poked at her food, a pea rolling off her tray and on to the floor. “Besides, we don't have any color packs left. You used them all up.”
Lex groaned, dropping his head back. “What a shame,” he said. “I would had loved to cover those smug bastards in paint again.”
Billy looked up at him with a grin. “Kinky,” he quipped.
Lex took his comment in his stride. “I would love to do all sorts of kinky things to those bastards,” he said. “Maybe try out some bondage and humiliation out in the hall.”
This time around when Billy laughed, he looked up. In his distraction, Petra leaned forwards and tipped over his structure of knives and spoons. At the sound of cutlery hitting the table, Billy widened his eyes and gasped comically.
“No!” He yelped, grabbing at a spoon. “My life's work, destroyed in a minute.” He looked up and pouted at Petra. “You're out of my will, Yolga.”
“You're broke, Bennett, what would you have left me anyways?” She asked, the corner of her lip twitching up.
Billy huffed. “My love and admiration,” He told her.
Petra looked at him, unimpressed, placing a hand over her heart. “Oh no,” she deadpanned. “What ever will I do?”
Billy threw his spoon down on to the table, the silver looking thing bouncing off and hitting Marcus in the nose. “Joy killer.”
“Don't pull Marcus into this, he's just an innocent little lad,” Lex accused, grinning and leaning over to grab the spoon, tossing it back at Billy.
Marcus blinked again, looking between the three. After a moment, he spoke, “Divorce kills, dad.”
Billy hit the spoon out of the air before it could hit him, grabbing a fork off the table to point at Marcus. “Don't talk back to me son, I’ll pull your goddamn trust fund.”
“You mean your trust fund of love and admiration?” Petra questioned, ducking when he threw the fork at her. It sailed over her head and nailed some guy in the shoulder.
Billy scrambled up and grinned sheepishly as the guy cried out. “Sorry, man!” He yelled, waving. “I was trying to kill my wife but you got caught in the crossfire. Get a tetanus shot!”
When he fell back into his seat, Lex was snickering and Marcus had a grin on his lips. Petra, on the other hand, stared him down for a second, to which Billy kept his sheepish grin.
“I’m filing for divorce,” she finally said.
“Well fuck you too.”
“You won't be once I get the divorce papers in.”
When the two had finally calmed down, Lex spared Marcus a glance. While he wasn't zoning out on a stack of old forks, he didn't seem to be all there.
Naturally, Lex hit him in the forehead with a pea.
Marcus flinched back, rubbing at his forehead as he looked over at Lex.
Lex lazily pointed his spoon, previously a catapult, at him. “Check, check,” he said. “Is your brain on, love? You missed your parents’ divorce.”
Marcus took a second before he waved him off, moving to pick up his fork, only to pause when he realized Billy still had it. “Just had to pull an all nighter last night, had a poisons essay due today. It was all about our favorite poison and how to use it right, or something.”
“You actually did that crap?” Billy asked, scutching up his nose.
“Aren't you failing poisons?”
“Fuck off.”
The bell above them shrilled, making Petra shove her tray at Billy and stand up. She grabbed her things and stalked off without a word, making Lex snort.
“Well isn't she a bundle a’ joy today, ay?” He asked, rolling his eyes as he, too, stood. He saw Marcus shrug, but he didn't bother to say anything. With a half assed fist bump with Billy, he shuffled away to his next class.
Billy looked confused for a second, but then he shook it off, grinned at Lex, and bounced away like the crazy shit he was.
Lex tried to ignore the worry that gnawed at him.
____
Even though everyone hated class and would rather gouge out their eyes than listen to the infamous Scorpio Slasher go on and on about some form of killing, Marcus always seemed to be checked in and listening, at least mostly.
So let it be a shock when Lex spared himself a moment to calm his urge to snap his own neck to get out of class and found Marcus staring off at the board, arms crossed over his chest and slouched in his chair. His eyes looked a bit droopy, and there was little tension in his posture, abnormal to Marcus’ usual stance. In total, his eyes were glazed over and Marcus was checked out for the evening.
Lex gave the scene a quizzical look, peering at the other students around him. No one else seemed to notice Marcus’ mental absence, a good thing seeing no one was looking to knock out his chair or send a few ruler snaps his way.
Of course, Lex was in no position to kick some sense into the other by knocking into the back of his chair or tweaking his arm. He was stationed on the other half of the class, next to some knowitall who could suck his dick.
Not that he hadn't of course.
Marcus, on the other hand, had an empty seat next to him, with no partner to (potentially) watch his back for the period. Lex could remember someone sitting there once upon a time, but the kid either fell ill or fell down two flights of stairs.
Lex curled a finger around his tie as he looked away from Marcus, pulling it taut as he scrounged for a solution. He could toss something at him, try to jostle him awake. But, if he missed and whatever he threw slammed into the floor, Marcus would probably be screwed anyways.
Lex liked to think he took things for the team.
He leaned forwards and roughly tapped the shoulder of the kid in front of him. The kid turned and scowled at him. Lex, on the other hand, beamed at him with a sharp grin.
“Ay mate, mind if I borrow your book for a second?” He asked. “Won't be very long, but need to check a thing or two and my scrambled little brit brain left my things in my dorm. Don't wanna get a ruler to the wrist, yeah?”
The kid seemed to toss the idea around for a moment before turning in his seat and wordlessly passing the book over, not bothering to say anything. Lex grinned in thanks, even if the guy couldn't see, and promptly dropped the book straight to the floor. He saw Marcus flinch, now alert, from the corner of his eye.
From the front of the class, the Scorpio Slasher turned slowly. His eyes locked on to Lex swiftly, and a dark look passed over his face. “Something to share, Miller?”
Lex kept on grinning, even though he wanted to curl up and shoot his own brains out rather than have a conversation with the deranged murderer. “Nah, I’m all peachy over here,” he told him, leaning back in his chair. “Just dropped my book, Sagittarius Killer.”
The man scowled; Lex didn't doubt he had a future of even more wrinkles coming quick. “Pick up your goddamn book before I go over there and pick apart your organs.”
Lex smiled. “Always a pleasant time with you,” he said, leaning down to snatch the book off the floor. With it back in his grasp, he snapped it open and flicked through its pages, humming a tune as he heard the man grumble to himself.
The guy in front of him turned around and snatched the book from his hands. With a dashing smile, Lex wondered if he could offer up a blowjob or two so he didn't get his teeth knocked out.
When class got out, Marcus caught up to Lex with a sheepish smile.
“Hey,” he breathed, clutching the strap of his backpack tightly. He seemed to have pulled his bag on in a rush, with one strap on and the other off his shoulder, his blazer scrunched up underneath it. “Uh, thanks for that; kinda saved my ass.”
Lex threw his arm around Marcus’ shoulder, tugging him in close. “Ah, it was nothing, love,” he reassured. “Don't need our resident psycho killer to mess up your pretty face, now do we?”
Marcus raised a brow. “Pretty face?” He inquired.
Lex only grinned. “Well, don't they say scars make a man more attractive?” He questioned. “Or maybe that's just me.” Marcus huffed out a laugh.
“Seriously, man,” he insisted. “Thanks.”
Lex’s smile dimmed, and he curled his lips for a moment. “It's really no problem, Marcus,” he told him, running a thumb over Marcus’ collar bone through his buttoned up shirt.
Call uniforms idiotic, but Marcus looked damn good in one, Lex thought.
Lex plowed on. “What's up with you anyways?” He pressed, pulling Marcus out of the way of another student. “You were out of it at lunch yesterday and now today you're all checked out for vacation in class.”
Marcus chewed at his lip. “It's nothing, man, really,” he told him. “Just a bit tired, alright?” He cracked a smile. “Spent too long debating the purpose of the universe and our existence last night.”
Lex called bullshit, but he didn't feel like picking at a wound in the middle of the hallway. “Well it seems my purpose is getting my friends out of sticky situations through stealing and bribery of blowjobs,” he joked. “Speaking of, I’ve got a debt to pay.”
Lex reluctantly pulled his arm from Marcus’ shoulder and turned on his heel to face him. “I bid thee adieu, my sweet love,” he said, grabbing Marcus’ hand. “Till morrow’.”
Marcus chuckled, turning his hand around to give Lex’s a squeeze. “Yeah, yeah, see you whenever,” he told him. “Go suck the life out of your debt while I go wallow in despair with Petra, Billy, and a pack of cigarettes.”
When Lex punched him in the shoulder and waltzed off, a part of him wished he could hold Marcus close just a bit longer.
____
Something else Marcus was good at, was at least keeping his ground in a fight, most of the time. He had so little training, he might as well have none. Faced in a fight? And he was screwed to hell and back.
But, in some odd way, Marcus always scuffed his way through. He made up his shit as he went along and slipped through calloused hands and managed to sweep out legs, on a good day.
Marcus wasn't much of a fighter anyways, though. He wouldn't back down, of course, but he wasn’t exactly the type to have a bloodlust that got contained through a brawl.
He'd fight, but only when he saw fit, which was basically every time.
In fact, Lex was pretty sure he had enough days between his last fight and the present that they could start keeping one of those “how many days since something happened” boards.
But then Lex watched as Marcus got a fist to the face and didn't do more than cup his jaw and stumble back. There was no face clouded with anger, no curling of fists, not even a small taunt.
He just stood there.
The guy growled, seeming to be just as confused as Lex was with the lack of reaction. He lurched forwards and landed a hard punch to Marcus’ gut. Marcus huffed out a breath and stumbled back up against the wall. He looked up at the guy and blinked hard, as if trying to wake himself. But he didn't get a chance to snap back, as the guy was in front of him and going at it with his fists.
Lex dropped his bag in a flurry, shouting a sharp ‘hey’ and rushing forwards to rip the guy off Marcus. He dug his fingers into his arms and wrenched him back, at a cost however. The guy reeled back and threw a wild punch in Lex’s direction, crashing into Lex’s face. Marcus let out a low groan when he was let loose and Lex tumbled back, pressing his fingers to his nose, coming back stained with red. With a scowl, Lex wiped at his nose with the back of his hand.
Lex wasn't sure who ran at who first, but somehow he was fighting Marcus’ fight, fists flying in a flurry and blood dripping from his nose and on to his shirt. He couldn't tell where he landed on the guy with each hit he gave, he just hoped it hurt.
It was only when he could taste the sharp tang of iron in his mouth that someone tore him off the guy. He snapped his head back and almost pushed Billy off him in his rush of adrenaline.
Billy held on to him tightly, staggering back as he tried to guide Lex away. Lex thought he murmured something about calming down, but he was too busy trying to come back to himself to really care. It wasn't until they were out of the hall that Lex really started to pay attention.
He clenched his fists, wincing when there was a throbbing pain in each of his fingers. There was an absence on one of his finger too, and, when he peered down, he caught sight of a ring once on his finger missing. There was also the blossoming of purple along his knuckles, and he tried to ignore the way the back of his hand was stained with his own blood.
He sniffed, twitching his nose with a hope it wasn’t broken, and looked back down at Billy. He looked upset, scared, as he looked him over, and Lex realized he hadn't picked a fight like that in awhile. He supposed Billy must have gotten used to the calm and lack of bloodlust, but this fight had been like a slap.
He watched as Billy’s throat bobbed and he looked up to look at Lex’s face. Cautiously, he lifted a hand from where it was dug into Lex’s arm and slowly prodded at Lex’s nose. His nose, Lex realized, hurt just as much as his hands.
Billy winced and bit the inside of cheek, pulling his hand away and wiping it on the side of his blazer.
Lex would wash it for him later, when all this shit blew over.
Speaking of, he wondered if Lin was going to have his ass anytime soon. Really, Lex was surprised there were no monks around or called to break Lex away from the other student.
It only took a second for Lex to realize Billy was talking to him.
“—what the fuck were you thinking? You could get suspended, and then you'd probably be stuck on the streets for like a week because this place is like some sort of cutthroat disaster house.” Billy lectured, hands shaking as he grabbed Lex’s, dragging a finger along his knuckles. “I get that Marcus wasn't doing jack shit but you didn't have to go all, all-” he hesitated, stuttering for a word. “Psycho boxer!”
Lex felt guilt creeping up his spine. He was being stupid, fighting a student like he did. For a school of teaching you how to fight, there was no tolerance of such between students, especially when someone like Lex and his tainted record was involved. He could have gotten the boot, really, and that would have left Petra, Billy, and Marcus all alone. He loved them, he really did, but none of them threw themselves into the fray at first glance.
He had no doubt Marcus would make it out of a fight, even if he’d be dead on his feet at the end, but Petra and Billy were different. They didn't have Marcus’ whole ‘fight to survive’ attitude, and neither specialized in hand to hand. Hell, Billy barely knew how to handle a gun; last time he got into a fight he tried to use his old skateboard as a bat and only got it smashed in half.
Petra was great in poisons, and there was no doubt she could kill some asshat with enough time and materials, but fights called for quick fists and feet.
Now, he watched as Billy seemed to panic in front of him at the idea of losing Lex. And Lex? He curled his lips, biting down hard on them, before pulling his hands from Billy’s and tugging the latter into a hug. Billy latched on to him, holding him tight with enough slack in case Lex was falling apart from the inside out.
“Even if they kicked me out of this damn place, I’ll just camp out on the roof; you won't be getting me out of your hair anytime soon, darling,” he assured him, lacing his fingers through the green hair left at the nap of Billy’s neck. “I'm sorry for worrying you, love, but you saw Marcus. He would have been pummeled if no one stepped in.”
He felt Billy shake his head. “I know, I know, but that's all that had to happen.” Billy pulled away. “All you had to do was tell the guy to fuck off and drag Marcus off to your room or something, not go all Street Fighter on him!”
Lex knew he wouldn't be able to calm Billy down for awhile, and accepted defeat. “I know, love, I'm sorry,” he told him quietly, pulling him into his chest again. Billy tucked his face into the crook of his neck and Lex held him close, pressing a kiss against his head.
It was only later when he was told how the fight ended. Lex had gotten the upper hand and wasn't losing steam, which made some kid scramble from the crowd and hunt down Billy and Petra before he went too far.
Lex wondered if it was bad or not that he found that nice.
They'd apparently come running and rushed through the crowd to find a bloody mess and Marcus slumped against the wall, eyes drooped shut. At first, Petra thought he'd been knocked unconscious. It wasn't until some student told them he hadn't really been hit in the head enough to call for being knocked out that she thought otherwise. While Petra ducked behind Lex and dropped down next to Marcus, Billy had taken the job of trying to corral Lex. Apparently it was his lucky day, because he didn't even have to bother with trying to fend off the other guy because, like a saint, Saya had barreled out of the surrounding students and grabbed him by the back of his shirt, giving him a dead leg to make him tumble to the floor. Billy was pretty sure she'd done the whole foot on chest deal but maybe that was just him making Saya out as a superhero. Either way, Billy booked it with Lex, well the best he could with dragging him backwards and trying to shoulder his way past students.
Petra assured him Marcus was fine, but it took sneaking into Marcus’ room past curfew to really instill the idea. Lex was pretty sure he'd scared Shabnam out of his wits, but getting to hold Marcus close as the latter laughed at his antics quietly, made it worth it.
____
The final straw was when Lex was delivering the mail.
He used to hate the tedious chore, but, once he started to coast down the halls on his skateboard, throwing mail through open doors, it started to grow on him.
He also took some weird pride in how he memorized certain mail patterns, like how the fifth room down got exactly two letters every week and how a room down at the end of the hall only ever got a small package every two months.
He knew how Petra and Marcus never got mail, and how Billy only ever got envelopes with marker over the edges and a childlike cursive scratched out on the front.
Lex never really got mail, and he wasn't sure how he felt about that just yet (he knew his dad wouldn't be able to send him jackshit from prison, and even then he wouldn't know how to react).
Lex tried to readjust the hefty bag on his shoulder as it started to slide down slowly, wiggling the strap around as he skated through the halls. It was to no avail, sadly, so Lex just made sure to try and get this job done with quick before his bag decided to take a tumble to the floor.
Apparently it was ‘I miss my kid’ season, and Lex was facing the brunt of it with a satchel backed to the brim. It was envelope after envelope but, as he threw the stack of envelopes in his hand into the open door next to him, he grinned as he heard a startled squawk come from whatever student he hit.
There were some perks to the job.
From down the hall, Lex caught sight of the one and only Marcus Arguello. He was mid yawn and reaching for his door but stopped short and brought a hand to cover his mouth instead. Lex kicked up his speed and hurried to finish off the dorms closest to him, only hitting the wrong student once.
When he was close enough, a package labeled fragile in his hand, he cupped a hand to his mouth, calling out Marcus’ name. The said student looked up, and Lex was met with a pair of eyebags he hadn't seen since Billy decided to stay up for three days studying for a test he failed anyways.
Marcus lifted a hand and gave a short wave, smiling slightly.
And then he fell to the floor.
Some girl across the hall let out a squeak, jumping back in fright as he hit the floor. Lex felt a rush of panic and ditched his board, dropping the package. He rushed to Marcus’s side dropped down next to him, looking him over frantically.
He was still breathing, Lex noticed, and he didn't exactly look beat to hell or anything, except for the splash of black and blue on his jaw from the day previous.
Lex wondered if he just passed out.
Unsure of what else to do, Lex pulled Marcus up and hooked an arm around him, stumbling up and kicking Marcus’ dorm open with the back of his foot. He gave the girl a nervous smile and dragged Marcus in, quickly shutting the door and depositing him on his bed. Shabnam was nowhere to be seen, and Lex called that luck.
He stuck a pillow under Marcus head and stepped back, gripping at the back of his own head. Mentally, he went over what he knew to do for an unconscious person, which was basically nothing. Usually it was him that was knocked out cold and Billy and Petra were left to fend for him; it was never the other way around.
Fuck, he needed to finish his mail run.
He sucked in a breathe and moved forwards, only to hesitate and step back. He hummed and turned on his heel, gnawing at the cut on his lip.
He could just finish his run and come back, play nurse or whatever.
Mind settled, he rushed out and scrambled for his board, picking up his bag and kicking off swiftly. If he hit a few more students than usual, that was a problem for another day.
He almost rammed into Maria on his way back up the hall, nearly tumbling off his board as she gave him a deadly look. Rather than shoot it back, he just waved her off and tried to pick up where he left off.
He really wasn't sure how long he took, but by the time he got back, Marcus was blinking awake and looking confused.
He squinted when Lex came into his field of vision. “Lex?” He asked uncertainty. “What're you– what happened?”
Lex threw his bag to the floor, dropping his board down near it. Cautiously, he moved closer to Marcus, which made the latter scrunch up his face in the slightest.
“Ah, well,” Lex started slowly. “I was doing my mail run as usual, and then I saw your darling face and decided to say a little hello but then you just plummeted to the floor, out cold.”
“I passed out?” Marcus asked, looking even more confused when Lex nodded. “Did anyone see?”
“Besides a now terrified girl and myself, no, I don't think so,” Lex told him. After a second, he sat down at the edge of Marcus’ bed. “Why would you even be passing out, mate?”
Marcus shook his head, pulling his knees up to make room for Lex. He paused for a minute, then gave Lex a look that told no good. “I-ah, I may not be sleeping?” He answered, uncertainly. “I mean, I’m sleeping, but, like, not really?”
Lex felt his body uncoil in relief. For a moment there, he thought it was worse. “You can't just not sleep, Marcus,” he told him, making Marcus shake his head. “It's not good for ya, love.”
“It's not that I don't want to, it's that I can't,” he said, pushing his hair back and out of his face. “It's just…” he trailed off, “I don't know, okay?”
Lex wasn't sure what to do anymore. He knew what that was like, not sleeping even when he was dead tired. He had hated it, every time he had to stare up at his ceiling and wish he could just take the shelf off his wall and bash his head in.
He still didn't know what the fuck was wrong with him; it had taken both Billy and Petra piling into his bed to finally pull him into a lull of sleep, but he wasn't sure if it was the same with Marcus.
“You just can't sleep?” Lex asked, turning a ring on his finger around. Petra called it a nervous tick once, and he hated that now every time he did it, he thought back to that day. “Or you don't want to?”
Marcus bit his lip and Lex realized he hit a chord. “I...I don't want to sleep, I guess.” Marcus told him slowly, peering up at him. “It's just that I...I guess I see my parents, and what they looked like when they died.” He shook his head. “I thought I was over that but apparently I’m not, and it doesn't help that since I got to this school I’ve gotten the blood of two people on my hands and I guess that may have made something click in my fucked up head and now I see them and Rory and Billy’s dad and it's a fucking mess, Lex.”
His voice had cracked as he said his name, and it just made Lex want to throw a blanket around Marcus and never let him leave his side. But, this? Lex didn't know what to do.
“I…” Lex trailed off. “I don't know how to help that, love. If you can't tell, the best I can do apparently is beat someone to a pulp.” He gave a weak laugh. “A sane person would send you to a therapist but I also know you're broke and so am I.” Lex was ecstatic when he saw a smile grace Marcus’ lips. “Maybe we can just be your therapist? Billy, Petra, and I? I know we're no officials but we've all been through shit, and maybe we can all just share our shit and make it a ‘Sad Shit’ party.”
Marcus smiled a bit more. “A ‘Sad Shit’ party?” He repeated. “Sounds like real fun, Lex.”
There was a moment of silence, and Marcus’ smile fell, with it Lex’s spirit. But then Marcus looked at him and what Lex saw wasn't despair or anger, but the opposite.
“You wanna come up here?” Marcus asked quietly and, Lex didn't want to be selfish, but he was asking and Lex was all but unwilling to give.
Lex scooted up the bed and slid into the space next to Marcus. It was a tight fit, and Lex was pressed up against the wall, but when Marcus curled into him, Lex wouldn't wish for anything but. Lex melted into his touch, curling his fingers into Marcus’ hair.
It wasn't the first time Lex had huddled up with Marcus; it was a common thing between the four Rats. But it was the first time after they unloaded a truck of depressing shit and it was just him and Marcus pressed close together. It felt intimate, and Lex wondered if Marcus thought the same.
He felt Marcus’ hand slide into his, locking their fingers together and sighing against Lex’s side.
It was quiet, and if Lex focused on it enough, he could forget Marcus just confessed to having nightmares that kept him up long enough to make him pass out.
Lex wasn't sure when they hooked legs and Marcus was lying half on top of him, but he wasn't upset about it. If anything, he was thrilled.
It should have been a good thing, really, but there was a want creeping up his neck and Lex didn't feel opposed to halting it.
He was gnawing at his lip when Marcus spoke. “Thanks, by the way,” he told him, shifting his head to look up at Lex. There was a soft smile on his lips. “For helping me out, for being here.”
Lex gave a bashful shrug. “It's nothing, Marcus,” he assured him, rubbing a thumb at his nape. Marcus didn't say anything else, but it looked like he disagreed as he looked over at a poster on the wall, seeming to think about what he said.
Lex knew what he was like when it came to being helped, being cared for. He wasn't used to it, and all his friends knew that. He wasn't used to having people there for him anymore, and, whenever someone was, he’d get this look on his face as if he couldn't believe someone actually cared for him, wanted to be around him.
“Marcus,” he called softly, making the boy look up at him.
That was the moment really, when Lex didn't have any fear for what he felt, when he felt no hesitation.
It was when he leaned down and pulled Marcus into a kiss.
Lex always bragged about who he got with, some sort of ego thing he supposed, but there was something different with kissing someone he was actually in to. When he was caught up with some other guy or girl in some dark room, it was just a placeholder for what attraction was. With each kiss, he was just a step closer to a quickie that'd be forgotten about when the endorphin rush was over and done with.
But, when he kissed Marcus, he just had hope that he could do it again.
Lex pulled away with a breath, biting his tongue.
Kissing wasn't a big deal, but kissing your friend was.
He felt Marcus shift next to him, pulling himself up, and Lex pondered the idea of Marcus hating him, just for a moment.
But then there's lips on his again and Lex didn't really care about hate anymore.
Marcus hadn't exactly pulled away from him, he realized, rather dragged himself up to be at level with Lex. His hands were curled up into his comforter on either side of Lex, but Lex’s were already at Marcus’ hips.
Marcus wasn't the best kisser Lex had tumbled with, but Lex loved it more than the best he'd been with.
He remembered a time when he had hated love, back when he was stuck in England with his asshole brothers who Lex couldn't help but idolize and follow blindly. Back when he got his heart crush by the pretty girl down the street, and then by the well off boy his heart staggered after.
He didn't love Marcus, not really and not yet, but he loved what he felt in that moment and Lex couldn't remember the last time he was pulled into a kiss that wasn't bruising and rushed.
Marcus slowly slid his hand over Lex’s waist, but, before Lex could even enjoy it, he jolted back as if stung. When Lex opened his eyes, he found Marcus’ chest heaving and his cheeks flushed.
At first, he thought he was freaked from kissing a guy, but, when he spoke, Lex found it was a different case.
“I kissed Billy,” he blurted and, well, that made sense.
There was something...off between Billy and Marcus after one of the parties they tangled with, where they'd touch just a tad too long or they'd be the first to curl up on Petra's bed. Lex didn't think much of it, but was that really so surprising in his infatuated mind?
“Oh,” Lex breathed, realizing he still had his hands on Marcus’ hips and pulling them hastily away. But then Marcus grabbed his hands in a tight grip.
Cautiously, he leaned forwards again, pressing a swift yet soft kiss to Lex’s lips.
Lex really didn't know what to do anymore.
Marcus sat back, but didn't let go of Lex’s hands. “When I kissed Billy, we didn't really talk about what we were going to do, what we were,” he confessed. “I like him but he was all weird about it and we just kinda...went with it.”
“Is this your way of lettin’ me down easy?” Lex asked slowly. He tried to sound joking, but he wasn't sure if he sounded more hurt than anything. “Because it’s not that nice, love.”
Marcus shook his head quickly. “No, no!” He exclaimed. “It's me saying I don't know what the fuck I’m doing.”
Well that makes two of them.
“I like Billy but I wouldn't be opposed to kissing you more,” Marcus continued. “But at the same time it's all fucked and I don't know what's really happening anymore.” He licked his lips and sighed. “God, I’ve probably fucked everything up.”
Lex shook his head. “If anything, I did.” He insisted. “I was the one that decided to play tonsil hockey with you.”
“But I kissed you back and didn't say anything about Billy.” Marcus cut in, making Lex move his hands from his grip to his shoulders, leaning up to reach him.
“This sounds like a problem for us and Billy,” Lex told him slowly, pulling him back down as he spoke. “And, if anything, it doesn't sound as disastrous as you think it is.”
When Lex corralled Marcus back, he ran a hand through Marcus’ hair, smiling. “Let's just chill out and push this to the back burner, yeah?” He suggested. “We can hunt Billy down later or tomorrow and talk this out with him.”
Lex wasn't sure how that'd end, and the selfish part of him wanted to keep Marcus to himself for a minute longer.
But Marcus just nodded his head and laid back down next to him, falling back into the same position he was before, even going as far as to hesitantly hook his leg back with Lex’s.
He didn't know what was going to happen, but he'd love to have Marcus for just a bit longer.
Besides, Billy wasn't half bad himself.