Chapter Text
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
THE GHOSTS OF OUR PAST
Everything became a blur afterwards as Turais was puppeteered by the Wizengamot guards to the Auror Offices. Then, he was trapped in a windowless room with a pair of Aurors and an army of lawyers as he faced a grueling statement-recording session that seemed like an interrogation at points.
After what seemed like an eternity surrounded by stony faces, stale air, and paper cups filled with cold tea, Turais was finally released from his confinement. As Turais walked by the entrance to the office, it triggered a cascade of flashing lightbulbs from the preying reporters looking for the latest scoop. He reached the waiting room where a group of Lords from both Light and Dark families sitting in the waiting room. However, Lords associated with Malfoy's alliance were noticeably absent.
"Our candidate of choice was murdered. They must restart the election process."
"We agree. However, this matter is not for you or I to decide," Turais could hear Xavier Steward say. "That power lies with Lord Travers."
"This is preposterous."
"It would be prudent to remind ourselves who were the culprits," Lord Steward said coolly. "You eliminated all the checks on the Chief Warlock's power in committees because you held the positions and wanted to eliminate all opposition. Now, you find yourself on the opposing side, surrounded by useless tools broken by your year-old decrees. This bitter fruit bore from the seeds of arrogance and utter lack of foresight that you had sown. It would not have been possible for our government to be held hostage by one person otherwise."
Turais could feel like anger flare up up at the political talk. A man just died! Right in front of his eyes! And all everyone seemed to care about was that stupid election.
"This talk is not conducive with formulating a solution to the current situation," Fleamont said.
"What do you propose we do? Talk? All we have been doing for the past month was talk. I believe we have done enough talking -"
"Turais?"
He turned around and saw Orion's tired appearance. He also observed the exact moment when the dark clouds lifted from his face and lit up in happiness and relief.
"They didn't treat you poorly, did they?" Orion said as knelt down and held his cheeks.
"They won't dare," Turais smiled tiredly and gestured at the stern-looking men and women behind him. "Especially not with them in the room."
"That's what they were paid to do," Arcturus's stern voice said. It seemed Orion's call had notified the Lords of his presence as they watched on with unrestrained interest. "And they better deliver their services as promised."
"Of course, Lord Black," one of the barristers said. "Your son was invited here to help with the investigation. The Aurors have no grounds to detain or mistreat him. However, there was potential that your Heir was placed under unnecessary stress prior to our arrival. We can look further into the case to see whether they had violated any -"
"Lord Black, your grandson is free to leave." Charlus said as he approached the crowd. "And please rest assured that we did not mistreat your Heir in any way."
"That remains to be seen," Arcturus said coldly. He addressed the barrister once more, "You have my permission. Do not leave any stones un-turned."
"That is unnecess-"
"You have determined that an intrusive probing of my Heir's involvement was necessary. Now it is up to us to determine whether the pursuit of that course of action was warranted," Arcturus said. "We need a private room for discussion."
Charlus flitted his eyes towards Turais, who tried to send an apology through his expression.
"That is a reasonable demand that is well within my client's rights," the lawyer said curtly. "Especially after hours of -"
"It was only two hours -"
"Hence, I used the plural form of 'hour', Deputy Head Auror."
Charlus blinked at her words for a moment before letting out an exasperated sigh. "Follow me."
Once the door closed behind the three Blacks, Arcturus thundered.
"When there is a fire, you run away from it, not towards it!"
The objects around the room seemingly quaked under his wrath, but a Turais stood his ground.
"What if you were trapped in the fire?!" Turais countered. Then, he gestured at Orion, who instinctively shrunk his shoulders a little. "Or how about father?!"
Arcturus's nostrils flared as he crowded Turais's space. "Even if the entire family is trapped in that inferno, you keep yourself safe. You are the Heir and our family's future. None of this matters if there's no one to safeguard our legacy. Now, go back to Hogwarts and stay there."
"But -"
"I'm sure Turais understands the severity of this situation," Orion interrupted as he gave Turais a silencing stare. "He will stay far away from here until the case resolved."
"Perhaps even beyond that," Arcturus said. "This situation is becoming more complicated than I imagined. Although I cannot deny the fact that Hector's passing will lift our chances in the election."
The embers of Turais's annoyance flared up once again. But the sudden pressure on his shoulder from Orion's hand suppressed it.
"Turais must be tired after this. Let me see him back to Hogwarts first."
Arcturus looked at Turais sternly, "Stay out of trouble. I don't need to see our family's name splattered across the front pages."
He wanted to argue more when Orion's fingers dug into Turais's shoulder warningly.
"Yes, grandfather," Turais gritted out.
***
After returning to Hogwarts, Turais immediately turned into an empty classroom. After locking the door and casting all the Privacy charms in his repertoire, he seated himself in the middle of the room. Closing his eyes, he concentrated on his magical core and reached for the Hallow.
Something small dropped into the palm of Turais's hand. With a singular focus of the target in his mind, he turned the stone thrice in his hand.
However, instead of the person he wished to see, he felt Death's presence instead.
‘Young Master, you wished to use the Resurrection Stone to summon Hector Fawley.’
"Yes," Turais breathed.
‘That would not be possible, young Master, as the Stone can only be used to summon those whom you've formed an emotional connection with.’
Disappointed and deeply frustrated, Turais vanished the Stone from existence. Death faded out of his consciousness and Turais returned to a common room that was empty except for two boys sitting in front of the fireplace. Jonty and Alex, in their pyjamas and thin sleeping robes, were dozing off on the couches by the fireplace with their heads lolled slightly on their sides.
Turais watched quietly as the warm glow flickered gently on Alex's serene expression. And his heart started to throb. He was about to ruin that boy's night, and possibly many more in the near future.
Perhaps sensing the intruder, Jonty's eyes blinked open. Rubbing his eyes, he noticed Turias and alerted Alex, who startled awake. Alex jolted up and broke into relieved smile. But Turais quickly averted his gaze, unable to face the impending devastation that would destroy that innocent smile.
"Turais," Alex said. "How was today?"
Turais found himself unable to talk. Suddenly, the horror of witnessing Hector Fawley's death paled in comparison to what he was experiencing this moment.
He swallowed thickly.
Amidst the silence, Jonty asked with a hint of uncertainty and fear, "Did everything go well? There was no funny... business at the Wizengamot, right...?"
"Alex, can you come with me?" Turais said quietly. "There is... something I need to tell you... something that you should hear from me first... in private."
Jonty furrowed his brows in confusion. Then, the moment of sudden realization as he shot Alex a horrified look. He gasped loudly, eyes wide with horror and shock, and covered his mouth with both hands to stifle his buried scream.
Meanwhile, Alex just stood there silently with his eyes closed. He looked serene, but in an unnerving and chilling way.
"Jonty," Turais said hastily. "I promise to explain later, but can you let me speak to Alex in private, please?"
Jonty nodded and he stumbled backwards while his eyes darted quickly between him and Alex. With the click from the closed door, Turais approached Alex carefully, afraid that any sudden movement would startle him. It was then he noticed Alex's hands were clamped into tight fists as nails dug into his palms.
"Alex," Turais whispered as he placed a hand on his forearm gently. Alex opened his eyes and took in a shuddering breath. Wordlessly, Turais guided the boy onto the couch as they sat down.
"What is it, Turais?" His face was taunt with determination, but Turais could see the cracked facade of his false bravado. "Spit it out."
"Alex... your cousin, Lord Hector Fawley, he... he's -"
"He's dead, isn't he?" Alex whispered as he looked down at his tightly-knit fingers. The knuckles were white with tension. At the heavy silence in response, Alex closed his eyes again. Then, he nodded to himself as his body started to thrum. Turais reached his arm around Alex but it was brushed away. "I'm okay, Turais. I'm okay. I really am."
"Alex... you don't need to..."
"I'm fine," Alex snapped as he stood up. "You don't need to coddle me."
"Alex, I -"
"I barely know him, Turais!" Alex shouted, his eyes flashing with tears. "I've never met him in person. He's more a stranger to me than... than... family."
The pained whisper on the final word made Turais speechless.
Alex breathed heavily before he continued with a strained voice, "I hate to say this, but his death is really the same as any other nameless stranger in my life."
"Alex -" Turais reached out for the boy. But Alex put up a hand to stop his advance.
"I'm alright," Alex said with his face turned away. "I... I just need a moment... to... to collect my thoughts."
"But Alex -"
However, the boy ignored him and darted towards the entrance of the common room with an arm across his face.
The dormitory door opened once more as Jonty reappeared. "Aren't you going to chase after him?"
"I don't know if I should give him some space or..."
"Of course not!" Jonty said incredulously. "He needs someone with him right now!"
Turais nodded and ran after Alex, but then he realized that Jonty was not behind him. Instead, he was rooted by the couches with a sadness in his eyes.
"Aren't you coming?"
"No," Jonty said softly. "I think you should go alone."
"What do you mean?"
"He... well, you two are closer than he is with me -"
"Jonty..."
"That's just a fact," Jonty shrugged at Turias's meager protest. "I don't want him to feel uncomfortable..." Then, he took off his outer robe and handed it to Turais, "It's cold out. Stay out of trouble and please make sure he's safe."
"I will," Turais said. "And... thank you."
Jonty gave Turais a sad smile before saying, "Go."
***
Turais tailed Alex and watched him wander aimlessly in the dark hallways. Finally, they made their way to the top of the Astronomy Tower. On the circular platform that overlooked the school grounds, he saw Alex huddled by one of the stone columns under the moonless skies.
"Alex?" Turais whispered. "It's me, Turais."
There was no response. Turais made his approach slowly, afraid of startling the boy.
"Alex, please talk to me."
"I'm fine, Turais. Go back."
Turais reached the boy and covered his thin silk pyjamas with the outer cloak he carried. "You're going to freeze and fall ill."
The boy didn't respond except for the tiny tug of the cloak over his shoulder. Turais elected to sit down beside the boy silently.
"I don't want to talk about it," Alex muttered as Turais turned his attention back to the boy.
"We don't have to talk about anything. I'm just here to keep you company," Turais said softly as they settled into a loaded silence.
After a long while, just as Turais thought Alex had fallen asleep, he heard the boy croak out, "Have you ever... ever lost someone before?"
"I..." Turais hesitated. "I... Yes. Yes, I have."
Alex nodded as if it confirmed something he already knew. "So that's why you can see the Thestrals pulling the carriages."
Turais thought he hid that fact about himself quite carefully. But clearly, it did not escape Alex's attention.
"You can see them too?"
Alex nodded slightly. "I thought I was the only one who could see them. Until, that one time, I saw you ducking your head under its wings while Jonty got smacked right on the face."
Turais cracked a grin as he recalled the look of utter confusion on the boy's face as he sat in a puddle of mud. He sobered up and risked a question.
"Is that... that... why are you always a bit blue around this time of year as well?"
Alex tensed up at the question.
"I'm sorry," Turais said quickly as dread filled his mind. "That was a stupid question. I'm sorry if I overstepped my boundaries-"
Alex merely closed his eyes and shook his head gently. Inhaling a shaky breath, Alex said, "On this day, five years ago, m... my m... mother and b... brother died."
Turais felt his jaw slack as his eyes widened in horror as well. Those words were nothing like what he was expecting to hear.
"I'm... I'm so sorry, Alex - I didn't mean to -"
"Stop, Turais," Alex opened his eyes and Turais could see the tears rolling around, threatening to spill. "Don't be.... You didn't force me to share." He took another shuddering breath as he continued shakily, "Do you remember how I had a panic attack when Kaiden was almost hit by the police car?"
Turais nodded, not daring to speak.
"It was... It was because they died in a car accident four years ago. A drunk driver rammed his truck into the side of our car," Alex said as tears started to leak from his eyes, "The side my mother and brother were on... while I... my magic somehow teleported me out of the car and onto the sidewalk..."
Tears were streaming down Alex's face now as Turais shuffled close to the boy and let him lean onto his shoulder.
"I watched as the car exploded... They died in front of my eyes... and I did nothing... " Alex said thickly. "No, I saved myself and abandoned them... Why did I save myself?! And why did they leave me behind...?"
Alex sobbed into Turais's robe as he continued to mutter incoherently. His cries stabbed into Turais's heart like icy swords. He recalled the visceral pain he felt when he saw the corpses of Remus, Tonks, Fred, Dobby... He recalled his childhood wondering what it would be like to have known his parents... And now he imagined how much worse that pain was for Alex - for a nine-year-old boy to learn to love his family only for him to lose them in a tragic accident and then to only discover that he might have been able to save them if only he knew how to...
"It's not your fault," Turais said, holding the shaking boy tightly. "It's your accidental magic. You had no control over it."
"But I should have!" The words ripped coarsely from Alex's throat. "I'm a wizard. I should be able to stop the truck... or I should have died trying! I should be able to save their lives! Why is all my family dying and leaving me behind? I just want them with me. I just want them to be safe... and maybe have dinner with me... or play games with me... why can't I have that?!"
Turais had no answer. After so many years, these were still the same questions that haunted his dreams. Why did he have to suffer through all the pain and agony? He just wanted to be an ordinary boy, with a family he loved that loved him back...
And that pain and agony he felt for people he barely knew was almost unbearable at times, he could not imagine what it would be for someone like Alex, who knew his family for years before one irreversible mistake tore his life apart...
"Some days... Some days I just wish that I never knew I had magic," Alex said in garbled words that were mixed with tears, "If I didn't have magic, I might not have survived the car crash... then I would be with my family somewhere up there and not be so alone..."
Turais wrapped his arms around Alex ever tighter in a useless attempt to shield the boy from the cruelty and heartbreaks of the past.
"You're not alone, Alex."
"But it always felt like this," Alex sniffed as he wiped his nose. "A... After the... accident, they placed me in an o... orphanage. It was horrible... horrible... but a day later, some Ministry officials showed up and told me... for the first time... that I was a w...wizard... and that I had a father. And that he had custody of me. I... I didn't even know who my father was or that I had a father. Mother never mentioned him and I've never met him, so I always thought he was dead. I didn’t even know I was a wizard until then," Alex laughed bitterly.
"When they took me to Fawley House, I thought I would finally get to know my father. However, he always locked himself away. I never saw him in the one year I was there before coming to Hogwarts. In fact… you were the only other person that I talked to besides the house-elf for a whole year..." Alex looked at Turais with devastation in his eyes before he shuddered as another wave of tears and cries overwhelmed the distraught boy. After many minutes, Alex's tears ran dry and his hiccups subsided. The two boys fell silent for a long, long while under the cloudless, starry heavens.
"Olivia and Ashleigh," Alex breathed.
Turais looked at the boy with the question clearly printed on his face.
"Olivia," he repeated. "That was my mother's name. Ashleigh, that was my brother's."
"They are beautiful names," Turais said.
Alex smiled sadly, "I think so too." But then, his face crumpled again, "I really miss them..."
"I understand..." Turais said, tears threatening to fall down his cheeks as well. "... more than you might think. But you know what... they will always be with you..." Turais patted his chest, "... in here."
"It doesn't feel that way most days..."
"It's hard," Turais acknowledged. "Some days, you feel your heart is being stabbed by a thousand swords. Other days, you can almost forget it. But then, there are days when the pain comes back as if no time has ever passed."
Alex nodded at the answer. "But... how... how do you manage?"
Turais smiled, reminding himself of Ron and Hermione and Hagrid and Ginny and all his friends. "That is what friends are for. They might not be related to you by blood, but with mutual care, support... and unconditional love... they can be as much of a family to you as your true family."
"Really?" Alex asked hopefully.
Turais nodded firmly. They fell into a companionable silence as the stars twinkled above their heads.