Chapter Text
- Black Eagles Groupchat @ 1:24pm -
PrettyBitch: spooky party real soonnnnnnnn
i.am.ferdinand: you mean Halloween party
PrettyBitch: spooky partay
i.am.ferdinand: dear god that’s worse
PrettyBitch: SPOOKY PARTAYYYYYY
let.me.sleep: Dorothea pls don’t
let.me.sleep: Caspar will start saying it too
i.am.ferdinand: Linhardt you fool
i.am.ferdinand: you’ve just put the idea out there in the chat for all to see
let.me.sleep: ah
let.me.sleep: I didn’t think that through
PrettyBitch: @urlocalshortboi @urlocalshortboi @urlocalshortboi @urlocalshortboi @urlocalshortboi @urlocalshortboi @urlocalshortboi @urlocalshortboi @urlocalshortboi @urlocalshortboi @urlocalshortboi @urlocalshortboi @urlocalshortboi @urlocalshortboi @urlocalshortboi @urlocalshortboi @urlocalshortboi @urlocalshortboi
let.me.sleep: NO NO NO
let.me.sleep: HAVE MERCY
urlocalshortboi: hey why’d you @ me
let.me.sleep: NOTHING
PrettyBitch: read the chat
urlocalshortboi: hm
let.me.sleep: Dorothea why
urlocalshortboi: ooooooooh
urlocalshortboi: spooky partay?
PrettyBitch: SPOOKY PARTAY
urlocalshortboi: SPOOKY PARTAY!
PrettyBitch: SPOOKY PARTAYYYYY
urlocalshortboi: S P O O K Y PARTAY
PrettyBitch: SpOoKy PaRtAy
i.am.ferdinand: this is going to be my cause of death
let.me.sleep: same
dontevenlookatme: What are you absolute heathens doing?
PrettyBitch: ITS NEARLY TIME FOR OUR SPOOKY PARTAY
edel_gard: I see you’re full of chaotic energy as usual
PrettyBitch: me or caspar
edel_gard: both
let.me.sleep: true
PrettyBitch: ok but ARENT U EXCITED?
urlocalshortboi: I’m SO excited
edel_gard: I mean yeah
edel_gard: mostly because my costume arrived the other day
PrettyBitch: hubertttt r u excited for the SPOOKY PARTAY?
let.me.sleep: that message is painful to look at
dontevenlookatme: I am… mildly excited, I suppose.
i.am.ferdinand: you’ll be more excited once we get our costumes, right?
dontevenlookatme: Oh, yes. I will be.
dontevenlookatme: Speaking of, we need to go shopping for those.
i.am.ferdinand: we do
PrettyBitch: ooh do u know what ur gonna go as?
dontevenlookatme: I was thinking vampires.
PrettyBitch: yessss
i.am.ferdinand: Hubert can totally pull off the vampire look, but I’m not sure about myself
dontevenlookatme: I think you’ll look better than me, actually.
urlocalshortboi: wait wait
urlocalshortboi: you’re both going as vampires
i.am.ferdinand: yes
edel_gard: couples costume?
dontevenlookatme: Yes.
dontevenlookatme: As we are, indeed, a couple.
let.me.sleep: this is a recent development?
edel_gard: Hubert! I thought you said you didn’t have the capacity to love!
urlocalshortboi: ahahahahaha
dontevenlookatme: Well.
dontevenlookatme: Perhaps consider, Edelgard, that I said that… five years ago? Maybe more?
edel_gard: I suppose
edel_gard: anyway I’m happy for you!
edel_gard: now there’ll be two couple costumes at the party
urlocalshortboi: yeah but that’s different
urlocalshortboi: cos me and Lin are best buds
edel_gard: yes of course
edel_gard: I just mean it’s nice to have two sets of people matching!
PrettyBitch: I agree edie
PrettyBitch: anyway
PrettyBitch: my corpse bride costume came last week
PrettyBitch: that makes two of us who are ready for the spooky partay
PrettyBitch: anyone else?
PetraMacneary: I have bought my costume!
urlocalshortboi: did you go with the superhero one you showed us before?
PetraMacneary: Yes! That is the one I have bought.
urlocalshortboi: AWESOME! superheroes are the best
let.me.sleep: cough cough biased
_bernie_: I bbought a ghost costume like yousuggested…
_bernie_: I found a verypretty one! !
_bernie_: ithaslots of wispy fabric and stuff.. .
PrettyBitch: aw thanks for following my aesthetic advice bernie
_bernie_: your wwhat ?
PrettyBitch: I’m flattered
urlocalshortboi: haven’t bought them yet but I found a pretty sweet duo of prince costumes
urlocalshortboi: [sent an image]
edel_gard: ooh they’re nice!
edel_gard: I can help you make some adjustments to Linhardt’s one if you like
edel_gard: so it has some elements from sleeping beauty
urlocalshortboi: yeah! when are you free?
edel_gard: let me check my schedule
edel_gard: ok is this Tuesday good for you?
urlocalshortboi: yep
let.me.sleep: shouldn’t I be involved in the adjusting of MY costume?
urlocalshortboi: you come too Lin!
edel_gard: is Tuesday ok for you too?
let.me.sleep: I mean I was planning to sleep in that day…
urlocalshortboi: come onnnnn Lin!
let.me.sleep: ugh
let.me.sleep: fine
urlocalshortboi: yay!
urlocalshortboi: we can go get pastries and stuff from the cafe too
edel_gard: ooh yes
edel_gard: we need the energy to keep us going whilst we work
let.me.sleep: I suppose I can’t argue if there’s pastries involved
urlocalshortboi: see you guys then!
- Black Eagles Groupchat @ 9:45am -
let.me.sleep: good morning citizens of idiotville
PrettyBitch: rude
urlocalshortboi: Lin when are you EVER up this early????
let.me.sleep: never
urlocalshortboi: so WHY ARE YOU UP NOW??!?!!?
let.me.sleep: just cos
urlocalshortboi: ??????!?!?!?!?
let.me.sleep: don’t question it Caspar idk either
urlocalshortboi: ?!!!!!?!!!!!!?!?!?
let.me.sleep: my body just woke up at a normal person time for once
edel_gard: omg
edel_gard: Linhardt you absolute genius
let.me.sleep: what
edel_gard: that name
let.me.sleep: what
- edel_gard changed the name of this chat to idiotville -
- idiotville @ 9:46am -
PrettyBitch: did u just
edel_gard: I did
PrettyBitch: edie how dare u imply that we’re all idiots
PrettyBitch: I don’t deserve to be in the same category as these fools
let.me.sleep: Dorothea you have to admit
let.me.sleep: we’re all idiots here
PrettyBitch: IM NOT!
let.me.sleep: it’s just that our levels of idiocy vary
edel_gard: exactly
let.me.sleep: for example
let.me.sleep: Caspar is a solid 9/10 on the scale of idiocy
let.me.sleep: likely the biggest idiot in this chat
urlocalshortboi: HEY
let.me.sleep: I mean that in the nicest way possible
urlocalshortboi: I’m not an idiot!!!
let.me.sleep: yes you are
urlocalshortboi: I’m not!!!!!!!!
let.me.sleep: it isn’t necessarily a bad thing
urlocalshortboi: it’s bad and I’m not!!!!!
let.me.sleep: I’m rather fond of idiots
urlocalshortboi: oh
urlocalshortboi: well
PrettyBitch: hate to break up the moment but
PrettyBitch: I still disagree
edel_gard: Dorothea
edel_gard: everyone here is an idiot
edel_gard: even myself
PrettyBitch: >:(
edel_gard: you and I are both low on the scale of course
PrettyBitch: :(
let.me.sleep: how about I give you all an official rating
edel_gard: alright then
dontevenlookatme: Surely it would be a biased rating?
let.me.sleep: well duh
let.me.sleep: but that’s the fun of it
let.me.sleep: I get to trash you all
dontevenlookatme: ...
let.me.sleep: I’m joking of course
edel_gard: wait let’s get everyone else here
edel_gard: @PetraMacneary @_bernie_ @i.am.ferdinand
PetraMacneary: I am here!
_bernie_: hhi
i.am.ferdinand: you called?
edel_gard: read back in the chat for context
i.am.ferdinand: hm
let.me.sleep: so
let.me.sleep: at the lowest end of the scale
let.me.sleep: sitting at a respectable 2/10
let.me.sleep: is Edelgard, Petra and Hubert
let.me.sleep: at 3/10 is Bernadetta
let.me.sleep: at 4/10 is Dorothea
let.me.sleep: at 6/10 is Ferdinand and myself
let.me.sleep: and at the top of the scale
let.me.sleep: at 9/10
let.me.sleep: is Caspar
edel_gard: well then
PrettyBitch: >:(
PrettyBitch: HOW AM I A FOUR
let.me.sleep: that’s relatively low on the scale
edel_gard: Dorothea let’s be realistic about this
edel_gard: you solidified yourself as an idiot when you fell on that cake
edel_gard: so if I were you I would be thankful that your rating is a modest 4
dontevenlookatme: Indeed.
dontevenlookatme: My personal rating would have been much higher than a mere four...
PrettyBitch: WATCH IT HUBERT
dontevenlookatme: Oh dear, I am so deeply terrified by your threat.
PrettyBitch: IM FUCKING SERIOUS
dontevenlookatme: Wouldn’t it be such a shame if you were to fall like that again…
PrettyBitch: FERDINAND
i.am.ferdinand: hm?
PrettyBitch: CONTROL YOUR MAN
i.am.ferdinand: ah
i.am.ferdinand: Hubert
dontevenlookatme: Yes, dear?
PrettyBitch: akshdjksxhzls
i.am.ferdinand: I believe it’s best if you stop that now
dontevenlookatme: Anything you say, my love.
i.am.ferdinand: and um
i.am.ferdinand: maybe cut down on the
dontevenlookatme: The what, dearest?
i.am.ferdinand: the
i.am.ferdinand: the names
dontevenlookatme: But why, my sweet?
i.am.ferdinand: I’m pretty sure I’m blushing right now and that’s not ideal
dontevenlookatme: Whyever not, love?
i.am.ferdinand: because I’m at work and you know it!
let.me.sleep: and here I was thinking PDA via groupchat wasn’t possible
edel_gard: aw
edel_gard: sweet
PrettyBitch: I agree with u edie but I’m still pissed
PetraMacneary: Holding a grudge is not good for you, Dorothea!
_bernie_: yyeah
PetraMacneary: It is best to be moving on!
edel_gard: wise words
PrettyBitch: hmph
urlocalshortboi: wait since when does Ferdinand have a job
edel_gard: I-
urlocalshortboi: oh that sounded rude didn’t it
urlocalshortboi: I mean
urlocalshortboi: Ferdinand you’ve never mentioned your job!
edel_gard: better
i.am.ferdinand: yes I work at a restaurant off campus
urlocalshortboi: oh cool what restaurant
i.am.ferdinand: Molinaro’s Grill
dontevenlookatme: Hm, how interesting.
dontevenlookatme: It appears I am very close to that place right now.
i.am.ferdinand: oh
i.am.ferdinand: are you now?
i.am.ferdinand: [deleted 1 message]
dontevenlookatme: Deleting the name does not stop me from remembering it, my love.
dontevenlookatme: Expect to see me there in ten minutes.
i.am.ferdinand: ah
PrettyBitch: well it was nice knowing u ferdie
PrettyBitch: RIP
i.am.ferdinand: oh god
PrettyBitch: ur royally fucked
i.am.ferdinand: I am aren’t I
edel_gard: well good luck with that Ferdinand
edel_gard: I have a meeting now
_bernie_: mme too!
PetraMacneary: What are you having meeting for?
edel_gard: ah, it’s very exciting!
edel_gard: it’s our monthly Student Wellbeing Society meeting!
PrettyBitch: could u have made that ANY nerdier edie
_bernie_: you should ccomealong too Dorothea! !
PrettyBitch: I’ll pass thanks
edel_gard: oh come on, you’d like it!
edel_gard: the range of topics discussed is pretty wide
edel_gard: we talk about basically anything that could improve student wellbeing
edel_gard: which means…
edel_gard: spooky season discussions are allowed
PrettyBitch: omg no way
PrettyBitch: SPOOKY PARTAY
edel_gard: well maybe not a party
edel_gard: because there’s no way we’re inviting every student on campus to one party
edel_gard: but certainly some spooky festivities are allowed!
PrettyBitch: hm
PrettyBitch: perhaps I’ll come to the meeting
_bernie_: yay!! !
PrettyBitch: JUST THIS ONCE!
PrettyBitch: cos it would be fun to do some decorating around campus
edel_gard: yes Dorothea!
edel_gard: that would certainly improve student wellbeing!
PrettyBitch: alright then where’s this meeting at
_bernie_: student area 3!
PrettyBitch: ugh that’s so far
edel_gard: come on you can do it
PrettyBitch: how long do I have to get there
edel_gard: 2 minutes
PrettyBitch: ughhhhhhh
edel_gard: walk briskly
PrettyBitch: ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
- idiotville @ 11:12pm -
edel_gard: Dorothea I’m trying to sleep
_bernie_: me too. ..
PetraMacneary: What is Dorothea doing to prevent your rest?
edel_gard: she’s playing lofi hip hop study music through the common room speaker
PrettyBitch: I didn’t know it was a crime to vibe edie
edel_gard: it’s a crime at this ungodly hour
urlocalshortboi: Lin vibes on a regular basis
let.me.sleep: I vibe whilst napping
PrettyBitch: wow that’s some impressive multitasking
edel_gard: please Dorothea just use headphones
edel_gard: I’m begging you
PrettyBitch: headphones KILL VIBES edie!!
edel_gard: please I have an exam first thing tomorrow
_bernie_: mmaybe turn it down just a bit..?
PrettyBitch: I’ll turn it down since u asked so nicely bernie
urlocalshortboi: wait Lin why are you up this late
let.me.sleep: why are YOU up this late
urlocalshortboi: I always am
urlocalshortboi: but you aren’t
urlocalshortboi: so tell me
let.me.sleep: ok well
let.me.sleep: I may or may not be cramming
urlocalshortboi: LIN!
let.me.sleep: I know you don’t have to tell me it’s bad
edel_gard: Dorothea are you going to turn it down or not
PrettyBitch: ugh gimme a minute
edel_gard: no
edel_gard: turn it down or I turn it off
PrettyBitch: edie why do u have a vendetta against lofi
edel_gard: I don’t!
edel_gard: I have a vendetta against people who blast it at full volume in the common room whilst I’m trying to SLEEP
PrettyBitch: uh oh the caps lock
PrettyBitch: this is serious now isn’t it
edel_gard: turn
edel_gard: it
edel_gard: down
PrettyBitch: turning it down!!
PrettyBitch: in fact I’m turning it off!
edel_gard: wise decision
urlocalshortboi: Lin you better sleep soon
let.me.sleep: I will I will
urlocalshortboi: it’s nearly midnight!
let.me.sleep: you say that as if you don’t stay up later than this practically every night
urlocalshortboi: I don’t!
let.me.sleep: you do
urlocalshortboi: sure maybe OCCASIONALLY
let.me.sleep: it’s more than occasionally
urlocalshortboi: ok well
urlocalshortboi: I’ll go to bed now too!
PrettyBitch: I’m vibing in silence now
urlocalshortboi: congrats?
let.me.sleep: alright Caspar go on then
let.me.sleep: sleep
urlocalshortboi: well I gotta get changed first!
urlocalshortboi: but then I’ll sleep
let.me.sleep: really?
urlocalshortboi: swear
let.me.sleep: good
let.me.sleep: now goodnight
urlocalshortboi: night :)
let.me.sleep: I’ll reciprocate the smiley if you stick to your promise
urlocalshortboi: I will!
urlocalshortboi: promise promise promise
let.me.sleep: you get it in the morning
urlocalshortboi: aw please
urlocalshortboi: you can’t leave me hanging like that
let.me.sleep: I can
urlocalshortboi: you definitely can’t
urlocalshortboi: come on I’ll type it again
urlocalshortboi: then you type yours
urlocalshortboi: got it?
let.me.sleep: f i n e
urlocalshortboi: night :)
let.me.sleep: :)