Work Text:
He’s not fine. Staring down at the bustling crowd below, too busy with their work to look up. He’s not fine. He needs sleep but working an extra thirteen hours will do that to you. He just wants to see Gloria again; he misses his wife. The sandy ground beneath him, military walking, he’s seen space and they’re all insignificant, all of them.
“Rush!” He hears Eli yell. “Rush!” He hears Eli’s pounding footsteps, up the stairs. He just wants it all to end. He misses his wife. He misses when he could sleep. Sleep without seeing her face, haunting his dreams. “Rush?” Eli’s close now, behind him. He needs to choose. Needs to do something. Needs to make a decision. And so, he jumps.
And lands on the harsh asphalt of the roof, feet first. Each step he takes away from the edge, away from Gloria. He isn’t religious, not really, seen too much pain to be but he can wish. He’s not fine. He glides down the steps, Eli to his right. “You were going to jump, weren't you?” Eli asks hesitantly.
He’s not fine. He puts on the only tone he can without his voice breaking. A slightly condescending, very much full of snark and sarcasm. “Nah,” he shrugs. They’ve reached his ‘room’, not the quarters where he sleeps but a room full of chalkboards, books and paper. Nothing emotional to it. Just math, logic and equations. He can deal with that. “Too much work to do.” He’s fine, he tells himself. He’s fine, he’ll tell himself until he believes it. Until it is true. He’s fine.