Chapter Text
Midoriya is shorter than Natsuo remembers.
That’s the first thing Natsuo notices when he opens the door—he’s reminded (for like, the eighth time today) that Midoriya and Shouto are actually so very young. There’s no way that Natsuo looked like that much of a baby in high school.
The second thing that Natsuo notices is that Midoriya is panting with exertion when Natsuo swings the door open. He looks like he ran the whole way here. Midoriya casually wipes sweat off of his brow, and straightens and beams and says, “Hi! Todoroki Natsuo, right? I remember you from the party.”
“Yeah,” Natsuo says. He’s still drained from crying earlier, and has no idea how to hold a polite conversation. But Fuyumi’s the same way, and she’s half-comatose on the couch right now, so Natsuo has dragged himself to the front door to deal with Shouto’s super-energetic boyfriend.
He has no idea what he’s supposed to talk about with Midoriya. Is he supposed to give a shovel talk? Now?
(Natsuo had asked Fuyumi if she knew anything about Midoriya, to which Fuyumi had replied, “Oh, he’s a sweetheart. Well, actually I thought he was a good influence but then I found out he breaks all the bones in his body all the time, like for fun?” to which Natsuo had said a hearty “What the fuck,” and Fuyumi had said, “Shouchan knows how to pick ‘em.”)
“Good to see you again,” is what Natsuo ends up saying to Midoriya.
“You too! It’s nice to see you too. When do you head back for school? I thought most universities started this week.”
“You can come in,” Natsuo says, and steps aside. “Uh, yeah. I leave for school tomorrow morning. Things are kind of hectic today.”
He watches Midoriya peel off his shoes and Natsuo realizes that he has no clue how much Todoroki Trauma Midoriya has been briefed on. Shouto doesn’t tell people shit (actually, no known Todorokis are very open with their feelings)—and even Natsuo hasn’t told a word about his father to Kaori.
“He’s in the living room. Um. How much do you know?” Natsuo asks.
Midoriya pauses, halfway through wrestling off one hi-top sneaker, and looks up at Natsuo. “About…your home situation? Or about Shouto? Or…maybe about the extra training he has to do?”
“Uh, all of it.”
Midoriya says, “Well, I kind of know about the Quirk marriage thing and then Shouto told me about how his mom did… that to him. And then I know you didn’t hang out with him a lot when you were kids because Endeavor kept him separate from you and Fuyumi and then I know they do a lot of extra training and it’s one of the nightmares Shouto has a lot. I mean, I’ve never really seen what he looks like after training because it happens here but I assume it’s not great because it’s kind of hurt him—emotionally, I mean. So—”
Midoriya keeps talking. Natsuo feels his eyes glaze over, and he just stares in silence until Midoriya wraps up his monologue. It takes a while.
“So you know pretty much everything,” Natsuo guesses.
Midoriya shuts his mouth and nods and flushes red.
Well, at least that spares Natsuo from bumbling his way through trying to keep plausible deniability about Enji’s bullshit. Natsuo clears his throat. “It seems like Shouto really trusts you.”
Midoriya, somehow, looks even more embarrassed by this, and ducks his head. “I guess so.”
As Midoriya goes back to untying his shoes, Natsuo offers, “Just warning you, we’re all kind of out of it. We got some…weird family news this morning and so. Yeah. Fuyumi’s not really up for conversation, and I think Shouto would be fine sleeping for the rest of vacation.”
“Oh, that’s okay. I brought some work to do, if he falls asleep!” Midoriya lifts one strap of his backpack and then drops it again. He slips his feet into a pair of guest slippers. “I figured he wouldn’t be up for much anyway. Is Fuyumi okay?”
“She’ll be okay.”
“And are you?”
Natsuo blinks, caught off guard. He realizes that Midoriya is asking because Natsuo’s eyes are still bloodshot and a little puffy. Natsuo’s been taking a leaf out of Shouto’s book and has repressed everything from this morning, so for a moment he’d forgotten about his cryfest earlier. “Uh, yeah. I’m all good. Thanks. Here, let’s head to the living room.”
If Midoriya can sense that this house has seen a lot of shit, he doesn’t show it. His gait stays confident next to Natsuo, and his soft smile doesn’t falter, and he taps his fingers together and glances at the sparse photos hung on the walls like this is any other house. Whether he means to or not, he’s kind of being a calming presence, and Natsuo suddenly feels like he can release the tension in his shoulders.
“Shouto never stops talking about you,” Natsuo offers. It’d be less of a lie if Shouto talked about anything , but Natsuo has a sudden urge to act like he and Shouto are somehow close—like they have any semblance of camaraderie.
That gets Midoriya’s attention. “Uh—really? I’m sure there’s nothing that interesting—” Midoriya yelps as he trips over his sandals, almost runs into a wall. “—I mean, thank you! I just don’t really know what he’d say. But that’s nice of you.”
They pause outside the entryway, Natsuo hesitating just a moment and Midoriya catching the stutter in his step.
“Is it really bad?” Midoriya asks, in a lower voice than before.
Natsuo doesn’t know if it’s worse than usual, but he can’t think about how Shouto must have gone through this exact thing a hundred times without Natsuo being there.
“He’ll be better now that you’re here,” is what Natsuo settles on.
Midoriya nods, determined. And he steps into the living room before Natsuo, and somehow doesn’t take a sharp breath of horror at the sight of Shouto.
Shouto’s dozing off right now, curled up into one corner of the couch and nursing an ice pack on his ribcage. He’s been drifting in and out of consciousness pretty easily, but Fuyumi says he isn’t concussed so Natsuo’s trying his hardest not to worry every time Shouto falls asleep.
Fuyumi’s not looking much better off. She’s in the armchair nearest Shouto, staring listlessly at the TV, fiddling with one of her earrings. When Midoriya and Natsuo enter, she glances over, and then looks to Shouto before cutting her gaze back to the television.
“He’s had worse,” she says. Natsuo and Midoriya wince. “Don’t worry about waking him up.”
Midoriya starts moving again, in the same calm pacing as before, and kneels next to the couch, and sets his backpack down. The first time he shows hesitation is when he’s poised to put a hand on Shouto’s shoulder, but nobody stops him.
“Hey,” Midoriya says, soft, and pats Shouto’s shoulder gently enough that it won’t be a threat.
Shouto tenses, flinches away from the touch at first, but. Nothing could have prepared Natsuo for the way Shouto’s face relaxes when he cracks his eyes open and sees Midoriya there. He doesn’t exactly smile , but he definitely doesn’t look like that when Natsuo wakes him up.
Shouto mumbles a “hey” back. He uncurls a little bit, lets Midoriya take hold of one of his hands.
“Your brother called me to come over,” Midoriya explains. Shouto knows this already, but nods patiently and listens. “I can sit with you if you make some room for me.”
There’s a whole empty half of the couch for Midoriya to occupy, but Shouto sits up and moves over so Midoriya can perch next to him. Immediately, Shouto falls against Midoriya’s shoulder and pushes his face into Midoriya’s neck, and Midoriya wraps an arm around Shouto’s shoulders and holds him there like they’ve done this a thousand times before. Midoriya’s movements are slow, deliberate, and Shouto seems to have decided to give up all anxiety in favor of letting Midoriya protect him.
It feels too intimate for Natsuo to be watching. He almost excuses himself and flees, but then he remembers Fuyumi, who’s doing her best to sink into the chair cushions and disappear forever.
“Fuyumi,” he says, uncertain, “do you want to come upstairs with me? Give them some quiet time?”
She turns her tired gaze on him. “Hmm?”
“Let’s head upstairs. Get a nap.”
Fuyumi blinks at him, and then pushes herself out of the armchair and leaves the room without a glance back. Natsuo’s getting more anxious, now, but he just takes a breath and turns back to the kids on the couch.
“Are you good down here?” Natsuo asks Midoriya.
Midoriya nods, smiling easily. His face is lined with determination now, which somehow transforms him from an adorable child to a competent hero student. “I got it.”
“Sorry to put you on babysitting duty, but…”
“No, it’s okay,” Midoriya insists. “I’m sure you need a break and I think Fuyumi needs you more than me.”
“Okay.” Still, Natsuo hovers. “Hey, listen. If Dad comes home, you gotta drop Shouto and go. Shouto will understand. Just get upstairs and I can show you how to get out the back way.”
“I understand,” Midoriya says.
“You’re acting like Fuyumi,” Shouto says, from where he’s folded himself into Midoriya’s side. “Just go take a nap.”
“Watch it,” Natsuo says, but he backs off and heads for the stairs. “Keep it PG in here.”
“Oh god,” Midoriya says, and Natsuo can hear his face turn red again.
Fuyumi has stopped at the top of the stairs, holding onto the bannister and standing perfectly still, looking at nothing. Natsuo takes care not to startle her, but she doesn’t notice he’s there until Natsuo has tapped her arm a couple times.
“Hey,” Natsuo says, when she’s looking at him. “Let’s nap.”
“Yeah,” Fuyumi says. She follows him when he pulls her towards her room, and she pulls the covers of her bed back and gets in without argument. Natsuo decides to try to talk to her after she’s slept off…whatever she’s feeling right now, and he turns off the light and steps out, but then he hears her say, “Could you bring your futon in here?”
Natsuo is surprised, but he just goes and does it. She probably has a good reason for wanting to keep Natsuo in sight, so Natsuo just drags in the futon and flops down onto it and sets an alarm for a ninety-minute nap.
“If I activate my Quirk in my sleep, I need you to wake me up,” Fuyumi explains, monotone, and then she turns over and pulls her blanket over her head and goes silent.
Natsuo, for his part, conks out immediately, even though his nerves are telling him to keep an ear out for the door opening, for Midoriya yelling, for Fuyumi’s ice crackling. It’ll all be fine.
When his alarm goes off, Natsuo rises from his deep deep sleep and slaps at his phone. Fuyumi stirs across the room, groaning, and she pulls the blanket down from her head as Natsuo sits up.
“How are you feeling?” Natsuo asks, stretching out a little.
“Mmm,” Fuyumi grunts. She rubs at her eyes and yawns, and it already looks like there’s more color in her face and in her voice as she answers, “Better. Thanks, bud. How are you?”
“Fine.”
“Did we leave Shouto with Midoriya?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay. We should go check on them.” Fuyumi sits up, reaches her arms up high in a stretch, and then lets them flop down onto the comforter. “Wow, who knew that having a total fucking breakdown takes so much out of you?”
Natsuo scratches his neck, and pointedly watches his phone as he says, “I think it was a long time coming.”
“You’re probably right.” Fuyumi rolls over, stands up on legs that are steadier than they were an hour and a half ago, and then sits back down on Natsuo’s futon and leans against him. “I’m gonna go make tea.”
“I’ll come with you,” Natsuo offers.
“Okay. I’ll move in just a second.” Fuyumi has closed her eyes again.
Natsuo scrolls through his phone notifications and waits for Fuyumi to be ready to walk downstairs again.
To: Touya
were you ever gonna tell us or are you just that much of an asshole
From: Touya
you and fuyumi are clearly not reacting well so can you blame me
if you tell anyone, i’ll know.
To: Touya
of COURSE fuyumi’s not reacting well asshole
i’m glad you’re alive though.
[Read at: 3:04 PM]
“Actually, I think I’m gonna call Shouto’s homeroom teacher,” Fuyumi eventually says.
“Right now?” Natsuo asks.
Fuyumi has produced her phone, and is looking at the number she’d put in her notes app just last week. “Just to discuss our options.”
She must be feeling better from her nap. Pre-nap Fuyumi had been defeated, and distant, and kind of grumpy. Maybe she’d decided that enough is enough.
“Maybe we should wait until we’re less…tired.” Natsuo has no idea how to refer to the state of emotional fragility that they’re both in. Despite the sleep making him feel a little steadier, he can tell he’s still ready to lose it if something startles him.
Fuyumi seems unimpressed by this. She doesn’t seem to be exuding any of her normal paranoia or anxiety right now—maybe she’s just too tired to pull that off. Natsuo’s never seen her look so burned out, but he’s also never seen her go into a destructive rage or have any kind of disregard for Shouto’s injuries.
Today is full of firsts.
“I think it’ll be fine. You don’t have to talk.” She’s always been better than Natsuo at clamping down on emotion, anyway. Maybe because she’s the one with actual responsibility in Enji’s home.
So, he drops the hesitation and decides to just be there for damage control. “Okay. Do you know his teacher that well?”
“I talked to him at a parent-teacher conference, but that was a while ago. He was on TV, for the apology press conference, do you remember? I think Shouto trusts him. He seems capable enough.” Making up her mind, she presses the phone number and then the ‘call’ button, and then puts the call on speakerphone for Natsuo’s benefit. “Hopefully he meant what he said.”
“Yeah,” is all Natsuo says. He has no idea what’ll happen if Aizawa has only offered help out of obligation, with no intent to follow through. First, Shouto will have some kind of depressing-to-watch reaction. Second, Enji’s going to somehow figure out that someone’s sharing secrets, and—
Aizawa answers the phone.
“Hi,” Fuyumi responds, sitting up straighter, leaving Natsuo’s side suddenly empty. “I’m Todoroki Fuyumi, Shouto’s older sister. I’m calling because Shouto said you mentioned something about a custody transfer.”
“Yes,” Aizawa says, simply. Natsuo wonders if he’s just woken up from a nap, too.
“What did you mean by that?” Fuyumi asks. “Why did you offer that?”
Natsuo takes back what he said about Fuyumi not acting anxious for once. Her fingers are picking at a loose thread in Natsuo’s blanket, pulling it out of the weave, and the entire line of her shoulders is taut. (Natsuo’s not feeling much calmer, but this isn’t about him right now.)
“A few of his classmates have expressed their concerns to me, so I reached out to Shouto and he was willing to discuss it. I don’t know many specifics, but I know it’s not a safe home environment.” Aizawa’s voice is very low-energy. That’s probably part of why Shouto seems to have imprinted on him. “There are a few avenues of action we could take that would avoid a court case.”
“Okay,” Fuyumi says. Her fingers, around the loose thread, are beginning to frost. “What did his classmates say?”
“Is Endeavor home right now?” Aizawa asks. “I sound like I’m on speakerphone.”
Damn, he’s good. “It’s just me and Fuyumi,” Natsuo speaks up. He clears his throat. “I’m Todoroki Natsuo. Dad isn’t home.”
“How old are you?” Aizawa asks.
“Nineteen. I don’t usually live here.”
“Alright,” Aizawa says. He almost sounds relieved—maybe because that’s less children who are constantly subjected to Enji’s bullshit. “Nice to meet you. Shouto’s classmates were worried about some of his behaviors he showed while living in the dorms, and he’s also shown up to school with some unexplained injuries. After looking into it further, I thought it would be best to move him out of that home situation.”
“I agree,” Fuyumi says, without even a hint of an argument. “What are our options?”
“There are a few that we can consider. And, this isn’t meant to sound condescending, but I need you to breathe, Fuyumi,” Aizawa says. “Natsuo, is everyone safe?”
Natsuo hadn’t even noticed Fuyumi’s shortening breaths. While Fuyumi snaps icicles off of her fingertips and tries to center herself, he responds, “Uh—yeah.”
He doesn’t know how he’s supposed to say, Shouto got fucked up today and also it turns out our dead older brother is a supervillain and Fuyumi and I can’t handle it by ourselves any longer please can you just do something for us.
“Everyone’s fine.” Natsuo takes a deep breath of his own, copying his sister.
“Would you like to discuss this in person?” Aizawa asks.
Fuyumi shoots a panicked glance at Natsuo, which he mirrors back at her. If Aizawa sees Shouto like that, Aizawa might have no choice but to report something to the police. And then Midoriya might get in trouble too, for not saying something sooner, and then if Enji comes home and finds another Pro Hero in their living room with the (son?) protégé of All Might —
“I don’t think—” Fuyumi’s voice is choked. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. Can we just talk over the phone?”
“Of course. Of course, that’s no issue,” Aizawa says immediately. Both Fuyumi and Natsuo stop panicking, for the time being. Fuyumi leans back against Natsuo, and he welcomes the warm pressure. “Alright. There are two main avenues that I have considered. The first is letting UA, as an institution, take temporary legal guardianship of Shouto. This is usually an emergency short-term option partnered with a social worker, while a foster care option is negotiated. I could slow down the foster-care arrangements for as long as possible, until Shouto turns eighteen, because that actual transfer will take a court settlement.
“The second option is allowing a teacher at UA to take legal guardianship. This agreement would mean submitting a petition to a court, but we could keep that as private as possible. It would be Shouto’s decision as to which teacher that is. I don’t think the Hero Commission would have an issue with a Pro Hero taking custody of a student for a few years, especially if they want to avoid the news cycle of Endeavor’s child being moved out of his home.”
Natsuo hadn’t even considered getting the Commission involved. It’d always seemed to Natsuo like they’d take Enji’s side in a dispute, but maybe they could twist that in their favor.
“We’d have to talk to Shouto about this,” Fuyumi says, hesitant. “Would the first option mean the social worker would advocate for him? I don’t want UA to be responsible for him. I mean, I don’t necessarily trust them to keep him safe.”
“That’s understandable,” Aizawa says. He pauses, and then says, “I’ve worked with social workers in the area in the past, and could make sure Shouto is paired with one I trust. Whichever option we go with, I will make myself responsible for Shouto’s safety. He would live in the dorms full-time, with limited to no contact from Endeavor.”
Natsuo’s ready to jump in with an enthusiastic fuck yes, Mr. Eraserhead, but Fuyumi is still uncertain.
“How much warning would we have once Dad is notified of this change?” she asks.
“I’ll keep you up to date on how and why information is shared with other people,” Aizawa promises. “You’ll be told before any more steps are taken. I won’t go forward with this unless I can guarantee the safety of you, Shouto, and Natsuo.”
Fuyumi lets out a long breath. She looks up at Natsuo, silently asking what he’s thinking of all this. Natsuo, selfishly, is just glad that it’s not his job to make these decisions.
“Class is starting again soon,” Aizawa says, “so I don’t think there’s much reason to rush into this. You have time to think. I would prefer to get this figured out before summer vacation.”
“I agree,” Fuyumi says.
Natsuo blurts, “This is off-topic, but Dad said you told him Shouto’s been acting up in class. Is that true?”
Aizawa huffs. It might be a laugh, but Natsuo doesn’t know if Aizawa can do that. “No. I’ve never believed sharing Todoroki’s performance in class is something necessary or safe. And I don’t talk to Endeavor unless required for my job.”
“Okay,” Natsuo says, weirdly relieved.
“Shouto’s a good kid,” Aizawa says.
“Yeah,” Fuyumi sighs. She leans back, lets her head bump into the wall. “He is.”
Natsuo ends up leaving Fuyumi sitting on his futon to go get tea for them both. Any new spike of energy she’d had after waking up from her nap is gone after the phone call with Aizawa ends, and Natsuo takes it upon himself to let her take a break for a while longer.
Shouto’s sitting up, awake. Midoriya’s chattering, gesticulating in anger that doesn’t seem to be directed at Shouto, and Shouto’s just listening with a soft, somewhat amused look on his face.
Natsuo’s almost sorry to interrupt, but he makes sure to take heavy enough steps in the hallway that he doesn’t startle them. When he crosses the threshold of the living room, Shouto and Midoriya turn to look at him. Natsuo waves.
“How’s it going?” he asks.
“ I’m good,” Midoriya says, “but Shouto’s never seen any of the All Might movies?”
Natsuo snorts, and delicately avoids the unspoken assumption that Natsuo’s seen a single All Might movie himself. “He hadn’t even seen Totoro until we made him watch it last week.”
While Midoriya gasps, Shouto shrugs, unperturbed. “I know All Might in real life. Why would I need to watch his movies?”
“It’s about the experience,” Midoriya insists. “It’s about the culture.”
“It’s about movie studios making millions of dollars off of him,” Natsuo adds.
Shouto doesn’t look very impressed. It’s kind of his default face.
“We’re watching one right now,” Midoriya announces, and produces his laptop from his backpack. He snuggles back onto the couch with his back against Shouto so that both of them can see the screen, and then he blinks up at Natsuo. “Do you want to watch too?”
“Oh--I’m good. Thanks, though. Do either of you want tea or something?”
“I’m okay!” Midoriya says, and Shouto shakes his head no. Natsuo leaves the two of them to it and later takes the other route back from the kitchen, only partially because he’s skittish of walking in on them doing anything.
Natsuo returns with tea to a Fuyumi who has fallen asleep on her own bed again. He sets a mug on her bedside table and then drags his futon back to his own room to hide for the rest of the afternoon.
Natsuo has to catch the train back to school tomorrow morning. The events of the day mean that he’s frazzled (and a little reluctant to leave until things are back to normal), but classes start again tomorrow and that means he has to go. Fuyumi’s said she’ll call if anything develops with Aizawa or Dabi (or Shouto goes unsaid. Things aren’t going to be great once Enji comes back again and Natsuo’s nervous about that).
He’s packing haphazardly that night when Shouto shows up, wearing pajamas and a blank expression.
“What’s up?” Natsuo asks, and pauses his music. “Did Midoriya leave?”
Shouto nods, shuffles in, and lies down on the futon.
“Wanna talk about something?” Natsuo asks, confused.
Shouto shrugs. He takes out his phone and proceeds to not make any conversation at all. He just lies there and drags a blanket over himself and keeps quiet.
Natsuo eventually turns his music back on and resumes packing. His phone buzzes, and it’s his girlfriend, who’s supposed to be in the middle of a family dinner.
From: Akiyama Kaori
lmaooooooooo please say something to me so i’m distracted from committing murder on my cousin
To: Akiyama Kaori
NO PROBLEM
here : tell me why my weird brother just came in and laid down on my futon while i pack. not saying anything
[IMG ATTACHMENT]
From: Akiyama Kaori
aw a sweetheart :((
make sure he’s ok :( my sister does that sometimes when she’s nonverbal
“Are you good?” Natsuo asks.
Shouto nods without looking up from his phone.
To: Akiyama Kaori
he said he’s fine?
From: Akiyama Kaori
babe maybe he just wants to hang out
this is not a judgmental question i’m legitimately asking: have you had a brother before this break? youve literally never mentioned this child to me
To: Akiyama Kaori
lmao sorry
my family is kind of .. dysfunctional
From: Akiyama Kaori
god…..join the mcfucking club
my aunt announced during dinner that my cousin eloped w the number thirty three pro hero????? like?? last month?? and she hasn’t heard from her since??? hello??????????
To: Akiyama Kaori
wow good for her!
From: Akiyama Kaori
yeah except she was engaged to get married to this rich dude so my aunt’s losing her shit
gay rights i guess
DON’T tell your dad about that oh my god. the press doesnt know
heading back to dinner wish me luck . give your cute brother a hug
Shouto’s behavior is odd, and it seems to be setting off warning bells for Kaori, so Natsuo doesn’t kick Shouto out. Shouto occasionally turns his phone around to show Natsuo a meme that one of his friends sent him, but other than that Shouto sits very still.
Natsuo finishes packing within an hour, and then makes a final sweep of his room to make sure he hadn’t left anything important behind. He goes into the bathroom for a while to start pulling his stuff together in there.
When he emerges, humming a song that’s been stuck in his head since he heard it at Shouto’s New Year’s Eve party, he finds that Shouto’s asleep. His phone has fallen to the mattress, and Natsuo pauses before waking him up.
There’s more than enough room for both of them on the futon. And it’s getting late anyway, and Shouto might lash out to attack--and Natsuo’s own reflexes aren’t as great as he’d like.
So Natsuo plugs Shouto’s phone into the charger and turns off the lights. He climbs over Shouto and goes the fuck to sleep.
Less than an hour later, Natsuo rolls out of bed to find some water. He almost crushes Shouto, but awkwardly hurdles him at the last moment.
The house is quiet. It’s calmer without Enji here, though--there’s not a constant fear that Enji’s going to be woken up by footsteps in the hallway. Natsuo puts his empty glass in the sink and goes back to his room. Wandering back over the threshold, he stops mid-step when Shouto makes a bizarre choking noise in his sleep.
He’d thought that Shouto had been sleeping peacefully. Looking closer, now, Natsuo sees that Shouto’s face is full of tension, that one fist is clenched and the other is clamped around the other arm, letting off a faint wisp of smoke. It’s a silent nightmare, opposite of Natsuo’s usual ones--but that’s probably because Shouto’s room is right by Enji’s so Shouto had had to learn to shut the hell up.
Natsuo doesn’t know what to do. When waking Shouto up from naps in the past, Shouto has taken a swing in fear, but Natsuo can’t just leave Shouto like this. Shouto’s starting to make barely-audible noises of terror in the back of his throat that are freaking Natsuo out--Natsuo can’t just ignore him.
Natsuo crouches a foot or so away, close enough that Shouto can hear him. “Shouto,” he whispers, urgent.
Shouto’s eyes snap open, wide at first and then quickly resetting to factory-default blankness.
“It’s just me,” Natsuo says. He reaches out and pats Shouto’s arm, awkward. Shouto jumps at the contact.
“Niisan?” he croaks.
“Yeah. You with me?”
Shouto nods, but it’s not very convincing.
“You fell asleep in my room and you burned yourself in your sleep so I woke you up.” Natsuo has no idea how to bring Shouto back to himself. “Are you good?”
Shouto’s breath hitches. Natsuo really, really sincerely prays he doesn’t start crying.
“I’m gonna go get Fuyumi,” Natsuo says, when a long moment has passed without him coming up with any ideas to help.
Shouto doesn’t stop him.
Thankfully, Fuyumi isn’t asleep yet. She’s having a soft Skype conversation with a sleepy-eyed Yuuto, who looks like he’s typing rapidly on his computer--probably work or something.
When Natsuo knocks on Fuyumi’s door, she glances over her shoulder and asks, “What’s up?”
Natsuo says, hopefully quiet enough that Yuuto won’t hear, “Shouto had a nightmare. I don’t know what to do.”
Fuyumi frowns. She turns back to her boyfriend and says, “I’m sorry, my baby brother needs me.”
“Okay, sure thing,” Yuuto says, eyebrows furrowed in concern. “Is he okay?”
“He’ll be fine, I’m just gonna go check on him. I’ll call you tomorrow morning, alright? Don’t stay up too late.”
Yuuto looks like he has no plans to go to sleep anytime soon, but he humors Fuyumi anyway. “Haha. I love you.”
“I love you too,” Fuyumi says, and smiles a soft smile that she only gives to Yuuto.
“Good to see you, Natsuo,” Yuuto calls, perfectly polite. Natsuo waves back, awkward.
Fuyumi gets up and puts on a sweatshirt and follows Natsuo into the hallway. She rolls the sleeves up so they don’t cover her hands, more of a way to fidget than anything else as she asks, “I didn’t hear anything. Is he okay?”
“I didn’t hear, either.” Natsuo gestures vaguely. “He was quiet but he was clearly--I don’t know. I woke him up but I can never tell what I’m supposed to do?”
“Okay.” She gives him a weird look.
“He fell asleep in my room. I wouldn’t have seen otherwise.”
“Got it.” Fuyumi steps into Natsuo’s room and assumes a nonthreatening posture, approaching the futon in a way that won’t make her seem like an intruder. “Hey, Shouchan,” she says in a much gentler voice than she’d used with Natsuo. Natsuo hovers by the door, feeling out of place.
Shouto is curled up, breathing carefully normal. His eyes are glassy when they skim over Natsuo before landing on Fuyumi.
“Hi,” Shouto says, much too slow.
“Can we sit with you, bud?” she asks.
“Okay,” Shouto says. He shifts over so that there’s room for Fuyumi.
Fuyumi settles in and pulls the blanket overself. She gives Natsuo a sharp look before pointing meaningfully to the empty side of the futon. Natsuo finally unfreezes and walks over, climbing carefully over his two siblings to plop down on the other side of Shouto.
“I’m sorry I woke you up,” Shouto mumbles.
“You didn’t wake anybody up.” Natsuo kicks Shouto’s freezing cold foot away from his calf, and wiggles away until he’s not touching either of his siblings. “Don’t worry about it. Are you okay?”
“I’ll be fine in a minute.”
After the three of them shift around for the most comfortable positions they can find, it’s silent. All Natsuo hears is his siblings’ breathing and the swoosh of cars intermittently passing through the snow outside.
They haven’t done this since before Touya left, and they’re too big to all comfortably fit in the bed and Shouto’s feet are fucking freezing. Natsuo’s thirsty again, but he doesn’t want to jostle everyone around so he just suffers quietly.
At least Shouto starts to calm down. He starts acting less like a reanimated mummy and he starts shifting around to get more comfortable, so it seems like he’s becoming more aware of what’s going on around him.
None of them are going to fall asleep anytime soon (Natsuo’s THIRSTY and Shouto’s still shaking minutely and Fuyumi’s fidgeting). Eventually, Fuyumi’s the one who breaks the quiet.
“Now that this is a slumber party, let’s share all our secrets,” Fuyumi says, and Natsuo honestly can’t tell if she’s joking or not.
“Sure, I’ll go first,” Natsuo says. He yanks a pillow over so Shouto is hogging less of it, and Shouto glowers at him. “When I was eight and someone broke the coffee machine that was me.”
Fuyumi’s mouth opens in indignation. “Bastard.”
“Why was I the one who got in trouble, then?” Shouto asks.
“Because Natsuo’s a coward,” Fuyumi says.
Natsuo snorts. He delicately doesn’t ask what getting in trouble entailed for Shouto, because he’s already had a panic attack today and he doesn’t want another. “Your turn, Yumi.”
“Uh. I don’t know. I guess, I lose time sometimes,” she says, which is a much different tone than before--but then again, the only shit Fuyumi doesn’t tell others is how she feels.
When Natsuo cracks an eye open, she’s staring resolutely at the ceiling. “Even sometimes when I’m not at home. I just come back to myself hours or days later at work or at Yuuto’s and I don’t even remember how I got there. Do you guys have that?”
Shouto turns his head, like he’s listening.
Natsuo doesn’t know what to say, so he doesn’t say anything.
“Yeah. I do that too,” Shouto finally says. It’s the first time Shouto’s directly admitted to dissociating, so maybe that’s progress. “I think I started to do it on purpose when I was younger, so I wouldn’t have to be at training. But now I can’t stop it from happening.”
A car swooshes by outside.
“That sounds scary,” Natsuo says.
“I’m just kind of used to it,” Shouto says. He frowns, then takes to scowling at the ceiling. “I guess it could be scary. But...never mind.”
“But it’s better than the alternative,” Fuyumi finishes for him.
Shouto cringes, but doesn’t disagree. “Has he...ever hit either of you?”
“No,” Natsuo says, fully expecting Fuyumi to chime in agreement with him.
“He has,” Fuyumi says, tone flat, and she doesn’t elaborate.
Shouto hums.
Natsuo’s guilt starts choking him again, so he moves the fuck on. There has to be something to talk about that doesn’t highlight a massive disparity in trauma between them.
“Do you guys want kids?” is what he finally asks, like an idiot.
“Yikes,” Shouto says.
Fuyumi laughs, a sudden loud noise that seems to slam into the ceiling high above them. “Yeah, I feel that. Um. I don’t know. They might get hurt.”
She doesn’t say, I might hurt them, but Natsuo hears it anyway.
“I don’t want to have them until Enji is in jail,” Natsuo says.
His worry is more my kids can’t have a grandfather who could kill them with one strike, but he thinks he understands Fuyumi’s perspective--her only example of maternity had endured at least four pregnancies (had Rei wanted that many kids?), had watched one of her kids burn alive, had caved under intense pressure and melted her youngest’s face off. Rei had been so gentle and had loved them so much--until she hadn’t.
Natsuo and Fuyumi (and even maybe Touya) had been lucky that they hadn’t looked too much like Enji, or they might not have gotten so many good memories with Rei.
Plus, Fuyumi had been angry today.
“Do you think he will?” Shouto asks, breaking Natsuo out of his thoughts. “Go to jail, I mean.”
“No,” Fuyumi says.
“Not likely,” Natsuo agrees.
Shouto seems to wilt a little at their answers. He doesn’t offer a differing opinion.
Natsuo yawns, and turns so he’s in a more comfortable position. Fuyumi mutters angrily at him for stealing too much blanket, but the blanket is not big enough for the three of them and it’s Natsuo’s bed so he doesn’t relinquish any.
“Your turn to say something emo,” Fuyumi tells Natsuo, when the talking has lulled for too long.
“Ugh. Fine. I have nightmares every night I sleep here,” is Natsuo’s confession. “I don’t have them at school. That’s part of the reason I never visit.”
“Is it the wallpaper?” Shouto asks.
Natsuo starts, and looks over. “What?”
Shouto stares at him, impassive. “I think the wallpaper gives me bad dreams.”
Natsuo has never felt so understood in his life.
Fuyumi doesn’t comment on this. It’s her polite way of expressing that she has no idea what the fuck Shouto and Natsuo are talking about. She yawns and shifts, bumping Shouto into Natsuo. Shouto grumbles but he moves to accommodate her.
“I don’t have nightmares anymore,” Fuyumi says, long after Natsuo thinks she’s fallen asleep. “What do you dream about?”
“Touya,” Natsuo says.
Fuyumi lets out a breath.
“Shouto, do you remember much about him?” she asks.
Shouto has rolled onto his stomach, and his face is in the pillow, but he turns his head to free his mouth to say, “Yeah, kind of. Dad always yelled about how I needed to be better than him.”
Natsuo winces.
“He was always nice to me.” Shouto makes a movement that might be a shrug. “I used to hide in the closet to cry because I thought it would be quieter in there but he always came to make sure I was okay. I think he hated me after my Quirk manifested. But he won’t answer my texts when I ask him about it.”
Natsuo honestly doesn’t know if Touya had ever really hated Shouto when they were kids, but--Natsuo knows there was a time when Natsuo hated Shouto, just a little bit, right after he found out his Quirklessness meant Natsuo would never even be in the same arena as any of his siblings. Natsuo was thrown away the second it was confirmed he’d never manifest a power, and maybe in the long run that made him the least traumatized sibling, but at the time, he’d taken it upon himself to stew in absolute hatred for Golden Boy Shouto.
That doesn’t sound like a great thing to tell Shouto right now, though.
Fuyumi says, “Shouto, I’m sorry I shut down on you earlier.”
Shouto doesn’t say anything. Natsuo follows his lead.
“After everything, I was really overwhelmed and I got mad because you don’t seem to care that other people worry about you. I guess I didn’t have any more room to feel anything. That was irresponsible, especially because you were injured and I should’ve been alert in case you got worse suddenly. And I shouldn’t have left you to take care of everything, Natsuo.”
Shouto acknowledges, “That makes sense.”
“And?”
“I don’t hold it against you, so I don’t think there’s anything to forgive. I don’t think you should have to act like my mom anymore.” Shouto huffs and turns his face back into the pillow, barely audible when he says, “I don’t think I’m in a place to be mad at people for dissociating.”
Fuyumi makes an aborted sound, perhaps the beginning of an argument, but then she stops and frowns and doesn’t respond at all. Natsuo barely remembers a time when Fuyumi wasn’t a pseudo-mom, and maybe Fuyumi doesn’t either.
“You’re fine, Fuyumi.” Natsuo says. “Also, we’re all getting therapists this year.”
“Okay,” Fuyumi agrees immediately. “Hell yeah.”
Shouto grunts, but it’s not a grunt of disagreement, so Natsuo lets it go.
The three of them stop talking. It’s been a disjointed conversation, and it still feels like they’re just acting like they’re siblings. There’s no reason for them to stay like this; Natsuo’s still the most parched he’s ever been in his life, and if someone has a nightmare, then all three of them will get injured by proximity.
Still, something in Natsuo’s chest is starting to smooth over. Somewhere along the way, he’s stopped feeling a knee-jerk instinct to avoid everything with the name Todoroki.
Long after Natsuo thought Fuyumi had fallen asleep, Natsuo hears her sleepy voice ask, “Natsuo, did you leave for school because you hated us?”
Natsuo clears his throat, trying to pull jumbled thoughts together, but what he settles on is a simply, “I left because I hate Dad .”
“I understand,” Fuyumi says. “Well, I wanted to say I’m glad you did.”
“What?”
Fuyumi shrugs. “You’re the only one who could’ve left, so it’s good that you did. We don’t need another one of us ending up like...Dabi. And you seem happy, at school. With Kaori.”
She sounds so casual about it, as if Natsuo’s departure hadn’t ensured she was stuck in this house for the foreseeable future--as if Natsuo’s departure hadn’t been entirely motivated by selfishness--as if Fuyumi hadn’t used Natsuo’s departure against him in an argument mere days before.
“I’m getting there,” Natsuo dares to admit. He looks over and sees that Shouto’s fallen asleep, so Natsuo just addresses Fuyumi when he says, “I hope you are too, Yumi.”
“Thanks, bud,” she says. She yanks some of the blanket back from Natsuo, and settles in to sleep. “Maybe someday.”
Natsuo’s alarm goes off way too early. He pries open his eyes and sits up, then launches himself over Fuyumi and Shouto’s legs to reach his phone where it sits on the carpet. Shouto doesn’t stir, but Fuyumi cracks open one bleary eye to glare at him before she closes it again.
Natsuo wanders through his morning routine, brushing teeth and putting on clothes and washing his face and eating a bowl of cereal, and then he loops back up to his room to find Fuyumi and Shouto still fast asleep. Shouto is flat on his face, somehow sleeping comfortably against all laws of nature. Fuyumi has monopolized the comforter entirely, curled into the tiniest ball possible.
Natsuo slings his backpack onto his shoulder and picks up his duffel bag and considers waking them up to say goodbye. He realizes, with a weird turn in his stomach, that he’s going to miss them.
He turns and leaves. He shuts and locks the front door as quietly as he can.
His siblings don’t wake up until Natsuo is already on the train.
Group: [ GET THAT (REDACTED) ]
XX/01/08
Fun Police: you left?????????????????????????????? asshole
Fun Police: please come visit this wknd for shou’s bday though…...it’ll be lit
Shouto: It won’t be. Please come anyway
Hungry Idiot: shoulda just celebrated it last week if you wanted me to be there so bad
Todoroki Fuyumi changed Todoroki Natsuo ’s nickname to Little Bitch Boy
Little Bitch Boy: i’m just saying this is objectively poor planning!!
Little Bitch Boy: what time will dinner be though
Fun Police: 6 pm uwu
Fun Police: bring gift
Shouto: Don’t
Little Bitch Boy: hmm i’ll see if i can fit it in my busy calendar lmaoo
Fun Police: shouto is going to be the dancing queen if you arent fuckin g there i’ll write you out of the inheritance
Little Bitch Boy: YOU WOULDN’T
Shouto: You can have mine if you care that much
Little Bitch Boy: aww…thank you little man
Little Bitch Boy: wait hold on
Todoroki Natsuo has added Todoroki Touya to the chat
Fun Police: NATSUO WHAT THE FUCK
Touya: wtf is this
Little Bitch Boy: you’re not getting out of this family just because you set yourself on fire asshole. if we can’t then you can’t .
Touya: i’m wanted by the police. are you stupid?
Little Bitch Boy: oh like the police are gonna be chekcing who todoroki natsuo professional quirkless idiot is texting
Shouto: lmao
Fun Police: DON’T LAUGH AT THAT SHOUTO
Fun Police: YOU’RE A UA STUDENT YOU CANNOT BE TEXTING THE LOV
Touya: yumi living up to her nickname i see
Fun Police: fuck you honestly i cannot believe this is currently happening and you’re just COOL with it?????
Shouto: @Touya Did you choose the name LOV because it's just one letter away from LOVE
Touya: i wasn’t the one who chose it but…...yeah that’s a hundred percent it
Touya: actually let me go ask if we can change the name to league of villainous extracurriculars or some shit
Little Bitch Boy: are you just gonna go casually ask shigaraki or
Touya: yeah let me just go ask him
Little Bitch Boy: oh cool can i have his number too
Touya: oh no problem it’s 1-800-eat my d!ck
Little Bitch Boy: NICE
Fun Police: how could you POSSIBLY have known i have the word d/ick censored in this chat
Little Bitch Boy: wait @Touya do you have weed
Touya: ya
Little Bitch Boy: sweet can i have some
Touya: no that’s illegal
Kaori is on the platform when Natsuo gets off the train, and she gives him a broad, albeit sleepy, smile. She’d visited her family in Jakarta over New Year’s, so she’s glowing from the sun she’d gotten and in stark contrast to everyone who’d been living in winter conditions for a few months. Not unlike a plant, she seems to have been recharged by it.
She rushes over to give him a hug, and he kisses her cheek and beams at her.
“I missed you!” he says. He feels...grounded, and not at all the sad husk of a person he usually is after trips home. It’s a bizarre feeling. “How was your trip?”
“It was freaking awesome,” Kaori says, and kisses him. She takes his duffel bag from his hand and they start the walk down the platform towards Natsuo’s dorm. “How was break for you?”
“Odd,” is the word that Natsuo finally chooses. “I’m glad I went, though.”
“Good,” she says. “Is your baby brother okay?”
“I think so,” Natsuo says. “Thanks for telling me not to kick him out. I think he needed the company.”
Kaori bumps into him with her shoulder. “Hey, always glad to offer some kind of emotional literacy.”
Natsuo’s phone keeps buzzing in his pocket. He’s sure it’s Fuyumi and Touya arguing, which is wild , but he ignores them for now.
“Hey, Kaori,” Natsuo says, all of a sudden. “Would you maybe want to get lunch with me and my sister and little brother this weekend? It’s Shouto’s birthday.”
He’s not prepared for how happy this makes Kaori. Natsuo had met her parents a couple months back, but Natsuo is notoriously cagey about his own family, so maybe he should’ve anticipated how big a step this is. She bounces a little on her feet, and kisses his cheek, and says, “ Yes! Absolutely, I’d love to! I saw that picture of them you posted on Snapchat. Your sister’s hot, babe.”
“Thanks?” Natsuo says.
Kaori laughs at him. “Yeah! You’re welcome."
"I think you'd like her," Natsuo says, and he actually means it. "We're not as close as we used to be but I think we're both trying?"
Kaori nods. She's remarkably awake, for such an early-morning excursion. "That's really good."
"I guess," Natsuo says, and there's a weird warm feeling in his chest that he tries not to reflexively shove down.
Sensing that he's done sharing things about his family, Kaori moves on too. "You wanna get breakfast before I have to run to practice?”
“Absolutely,” Natsuo says, and lets her pull him down the sidewalk.