Chapter Text
???: "..."
???: "...Ngh..."
???: "...Huh...?"
Luigi opened his eyes slowly, still somewhat drowsy from his previous slumber. Once his eyes adjusted to the dark room, he looked around. Desks, chairs, a blackboard... Was he in a classroom?
Luigi: (“Why am I in a classroom?”)
It didn't look like a normal classroom either: graffiti of bears decorated the walls, and the windows were bolted shut. Slowly, Luigi pulled himself off the ground, stretching out his aching muscles.
Luigi: (“I must-a been asleep for a while. Wait. Why was I asleep?”)
Luigi tried to recall the last thing he remembered.
He couldn't.
Panic started to take over Luigi. His eyes darted around the unfamiliar location, breathing getting heavier.
Luigi: “Where am I? What’s-a going on? Is anybody here?!”
Feeling as if he was about to faint, Luigi took frantic steps backwards.
Luigi: "M-Mari- Oof!"
Luigi suddenly lost his balance on something large behind him, and he toppled over, hitting the hard floor with a thud. He groaned as he rubbed the back of his head.
???: "Luigi?"
Luigi sat up at the sound of his name.
Luigi: "Mario...?"
A million tonnes of relief washed over Luigi. Right there in front of him, the thing he tripped over, was none other than his brother Mario. Luigi scrambled to his knees and hugged the still half-asleep Mario, who looked at his brother with confusion.
Mario: "What's-a matter with you, Luigi?"
Luigi: "Oh, Mario! I was so worried!"
Luigi gripped on tighter to his brother who was now losing air.
Mario: "L-Luigi... You're-a…”
Luigi: "Ah! Sorry."
Luigi let go, giving time for Mario to catch his breath.
Mario: "Why-a you so freaked out, anyway?”
Luigi: “Look around! I have-a no idea where we are! I don't even remember how we-a got here!"
Luigi gestured to the room, and Mario glanced around accordingly. This definitely wasn't the Mushroom Kingdom, or anything they had seen before.
Mario: “Hmm… Wait-a minute. Weren’t we just at-a home?”
Luigi: “A-at home..?”
Suddenly, it hit Luigi like a slap to the face.
Luigi: (“Y-yeah… that’s-a right. We were at our-a house… and others were there too… They were all… We were all...”)
Luigi didn’t know if his fuzzy memory was due to his tired state or something else, but his anxiety came creeping back all too soon.
Luigi: “What...? W-why were we-a…? How did we-a get here..?”
Mario: “Calm down, bro! It’s gonna be okay!”
Mario put a hand on his brother’s shaking shoulder, to try and put an ease to his fright. He thought to himself for a moment, then sprung up spontaneously, clenching his fists in determination.
Mario: "This must be the work of-a Bowser! Well, there's only one thing to do - and that's to go explore!"
Mario made a run for the door.
Luigi: "Wait!"
His brother didn't hear him, and was already out of the room. Luigi gulped. Even in a situation like this, Mario was as brave as ever.
Luigi: (“Maybe it is just-a Bowser’s doing…”)
With one deep breath, Luigi stepped out of the classroom.
Outside the classroom was a large hallway, with other doors and corridors leading to other unknown areas. This place looked far from friendly: everything was an industrial grey, the air felt heavy, and the sheer silence was unnerving. Luigi thought it would be better if he stayed in the classroom until Mario got back. However, before he turned to go back inside, he heard shouting coming from the next room over.
Luigi: “Mario!"
Luigi dashed into the adjacent room. Although, his courage was quickly abandoned at the sight in front of him.
Mario: “Don’t lie to me! I know you’re-a working for Bowser!”
???: “I already told ya I ain’t heard nobody by the name of Bowser, ya hear?”
Mario seemed to be confronting some sort of penguin. He was very round, and dressed as if he was of royalty. Mario turned to notice that Luigi had ran in the room after him.
Mario: “Hey, Luigi, help-a me take down this henchman!”
???: “I ain’t no henchman!”
Luigi was hesitant to do anything. It didn’t seem like the penguin had anything to do with Bowser.
Luigi: “Who are you, then?”
???: “Why, I’m King Dedede, the Ultimate King!”
The penguin, presumably named Dedede, struck a pose, as if he was being introduced somewhere for the first time.
Luigi: “Ultimate King…?”
Dedede: “Yeah, it’s my talent!”
Both Luigi and Mario blinked in utter bewilderment.
Dedede: “...Uh, y’know, like ya special talent ya got… I dunno for sure! It’s just that some guy told me that everyone got these ‘Ultimate thingys’ about ‘em!”
Luigi: “Some guy?”
Mario: “Everyone?”
Dedede: “Did you guys just wake up or somethin’?! There’s a bunch of people wanderin’ around here - and some tall guy told me that we’re here fo’ a reason! And if that reason is that I’m a super talented King, then I’m all fo’ this!”
Dedede raised his fist in the air in joy.
Luigi: “Then, do you know-a why we’re here?”
Dedede: “To be honest, I got no clue. All I know is I woke up in this room next ta somebody, but they ran off before I could get a closer look at ‘em. Then, that tall guy comes strolling in, sayin’ all that ‘Ultimate doohickey’! Oh well, at least I’m away from that no-good Kirby!”
Dedede chuckled boisterously. Mario pulled his brother close.
Mario: “I dunno if we should-a trust this guy, I still think Bowser’s behind it…”
Luigi: “Well, maybe we should-a meet the others that he’s talking about. Maybe they know why-a we’re here.”
Mario looked back at the penguin, who was talking to himself about how he was the ‘best king in Dreamland’, and reluctantly turned back.
Mario: “Alrighty then, Luigi. But if anyone shows the slightest hint of being a goomba in disguise, then I’m-a stomping on them.”
The brothers left the classroom to go look for the others, leaving Dedede behind, who continued to compliment his own ego.
They decided to investigate the room opposite the two classrooms. As Luigi peeked inside, he saw a large dining hall, with a long table in the middle, and smaller round tables scattered around. It seemed just a bit too fancy for a supposed school, but he carried on inside nevertheless.
Mario: “Oh, a dining hall. Do you think-a they serve spaghetti?”
???: “Spaghetti? Ugh.”
Mario: “Who said that?!”
The brothers turned to the direction of the voice, and saw a small girl sitting at one of the tables. She looked sort of lonely, but with that remark, Mario felt there was a reason why.
Mario: “You better have a good reason why you dissed spaghetti like-a that!”
???: “I just don’t like it because it reminds me of my boss… Well, he’s not exactly my boss…”
The girl got out of her seat and walked to the two, Luigi noticing how her black ponytails fell to her ankles.
???: “I guess you’re wondering who I am. I’m… Ashley, the Ultimate Witch.”
Luigi: “Ultimate Witch?”
Mario: “So everyone’s-a doing this ‘Ultimate’ thing then.”
Ashley: “My whole life I’ve been a witch. I cast spells, ride my broomstick… My favourite thing to do is summon demons…”
Luigi almost caught a small smile form on Ashley’s lips.
Ashley: “Anyway, it’s not important. Also, don’t bother introducing yourselves, I know who you both are…”
Both brothers jumped.
Luigi: “You do?!”
Mario: “She must be working for-a Bowser!”
Mario rolled up his fist, ready to strike.
Ashley: “No, stupid… I work for Wario.”
Luigi: “Wario?!”
Ashley: “Yes… Wario makes… ‘games’, and hired me and a bunch of other people to help him… He doesn’t pay us, so I wouldn’t consider it a job. I know you two are the Mario Brothers because he talks about you sometimes.”
Mario: “What does he-a say?”
Ashley: “...Nothing good.”
Luigi: (“I figured so…”) “So, Ashley, do you know what’s-a happening here?”
Ashley: “...Nope. I don’t have my wand either, so don’t ask me to cast a spell or something.”
Luigi: (“She’s-a taking this so… mundanely.”)
Ashley: “There are some other people in the kitchen, if you’d like to talk to them. They’re kinda… strange, however.”
Luigi: “Oh, thanks. It was-a nice meeting you, Ashley.”
Ashley curtly nodded, and without another word, walked back to her chair.
Mario: “At least there’s-a someone we can kinda trust here…”
The brothers made their way into the kitchen, mentally preparing themselves for the ‘strange’ people they were about to meet.
???: “There’s nuttin, Brian. Not a single drop of booze in sight.”
???: “C’mon, there has to be. I’m not being cooped up in here without a fucking drink.”
Luigi laid eyes on a particularly large man and a dog searching around the kitchen for something.
Luigi: “Uh… hello?”
The two turned to look at the doorway, and spotted the brothers.
???: “Gasp! Are you the pizza guys?! Aw sweet, I’m starving. Bring on the pepperoni!”
???: “Peter, they’re not the ‘pizza guys’. Stop assuming every Italian is your personal chef.”
Mario cocked a brow.
Mario: “These guys definitely don’t-a work for Bowser…”
???: “Who’s Bowser? The delivery guy?”
???: “Peter-! Ugh. Excuse my friend here, he’s… a dumbass.”
???: “A dumbass with dignity!”
???: “Uh-huh… So you guys are trapped here too?”
Luigi: “Trapped?!”
???: “Well, I’m assuming we’re trapped. Haven’t found a damn exit yet. Speaking of which, who’re you guys?”
Mario: “I’m Mario, and this is my little bro, Luigi. We just-a woke up, and now we’re meeting everyone else here.”
???: “Huh. Well I’m—“
???: “Me first! I’m Peter Griffin, the Ultimate Father!”
Luigi: “Ultimate Father?”
Peter: “Yep! I’m a family guy, y’know? Got the best wife, kids, and dog a man could ever ask for.”
???: “He says that, but he remembers the names of beer more than his own kids’.”
Luigi: (“Is that-a really true…?”)
???: “Anyway, I’m Brian Griffin, Ultimate Author.”
Luigi: “You like to write?”
Brian: “It’s my hobby. I’ve published a few books, and even directed my own play.”
Luigi: “Wow!”
Just then, Peter leaned into Luigi’s ear.
Peter: “But they were total crap, heheheh.”
Brian: “I heard that.”
Mario: “Yeah… Anywho, Luigi and I still need to-a meet everybody else so… goodbye.”
Mario grabbed Luigi by the arm and dragged him out the dining room, away from the strange man-dog duo.
Luigi: “Mario…”
Mario: “What? Ashley was-a right! There’s still a possibility that this is Bowser’s doing, though…”
Mario paced around, holding his chin in one hand. Before Luigi could reply, there was a tap on his shoulder. He froze, and slowly turned around.
???: “Don’t you know how to greet a pal? Shake my hand.”
A figure, who was oddly shadowed by reasons unknown, held out its hand to Luigi. He cautiously held out his own, palms sweating, hesitantly placed it in the other, and—
(*Pffft*)
Luigi went blank.
???: “The ‘ol whoopee cushion in the hand trick — still always works.”
The shadow suddenly disappeared, and there stood a… skeleton?
???: “You’re a human? Still hilarious.”
Luigi: “Who are…?”
???: “ I’m Sans, Sans the Skeleton, Ultimate Comedian.”
Luigi: “I… guess I can-a see that.”
Mario, who was previously lost in thought, walked up to the two.
Mario: “So you found someone else?”
Sans: “Whoa, it’s like I’m seeing double, heheh.”
Mario: “Hey! Me and Luigi look-a nothing alike!”
Luigi: “Oh, uh, we’re brothers.”
Sans: “Brothers, huh? I have a brother too.”
Luigi: “You do? Is he here?”
Sans: “Nope…”
Luigi: “Aw, I’m-a sorry to hear.”
Sans: “Nah, it’s no biggie. This new place just means I have more people to tell my old jokes to, and no one can call me out on them. Heheh.”
Mario: “And let me-a guess… You don’t know where we are.”
Sans: “Maybe I do… Maybe I don’t… I don’t think it’s worth boning over, though. Heheh.”
Mario: “Do you at least know how many people are here?”
Sans: “Including me there’s about 16 of us. Or 3,296 bones.”
Mario rolled his eyes.
Mario: “C’mon bro, time to find someone helpful…”
And with that, Mario dragged Luigi away once more. Luigi gave Sans a small wave as he was being dragged, as a sort of apology. They ended up going down a corridor that lead to a dormitory. Each door had a small picture of someone on it, presumably meaning it belonged to them. The brothers found that their rooms were next to each other.
Mario: “Hey, that’s-a pretty good.”
Luigi: “No it’s not, Mario! Who’s expecting us to stay here?”
???: “Aye, the laddie’s right. This place seems fishier than Davy Jones's Locker.”
The brothers turned to yet another new voice, which was gravelly yet warm. The owner of said voice belonged to a krab of sorts, who bore a distinctly crinkled nose and very large claws. He examined the two, and placed his claws on his hips.
???: “You two look like a couple o’ good wranglers! I don’t suppose you’d be me makeshift crew, boyos?”
Luigi: “Crew? For what?”
Mario: “Bowser’s crew?”
???: “Oh, where are me manners? I’m Eugene Krabs, Ultimate Entrepreneur, but you can just call me Mr. Krabs.”
Luigi: “Ultimate Entrepreneur?”
Mr. Krabs: “Yep. I don’t look like much, but this ol’ krab knows how to run a fine business! However, being stuck in here and all leaves me crew-less. I’ve been lookin’ around for some able-bodied handymen to fill the role - and yee two look perfect!”
Mario and Luigi looked at each other, then back at the eager krab.
Luigi: “Uh, t-thanks for the offer, but—“
Mario: “We-a work for ourselves.”
Mr. Krabs: “Really laddies? What a shame.”
Luigi: “It’s not like you could-a paid us anyway, haha.”
Mr. Krabs: “Pay? Who said anything about pay?”
Mr. Krabs suddenly looked defensive, as if Luigi had said something deeply offensive. Had he?
Mario: “You seem-a lot less concerned about why-a we’re here. Do you know what’s-a going on?”
Mr. Krabs: “Oh, I’m sure I’m just ‘ere because of some papers I signed without reading the fine print, happens all the time. But hey, I get free money!”
Luigi: (“This guy seems to-a like money… maybe a bit too much.”)
Mr. Krabs: “I suppose I gotta keep searching for me new crew, eh? Well, I’ll see yee laddies around! Arg arg arg!”
Mr. Krabs walked off after his goodbye. Well, it wasn’t exactly a walk, more like a quick shuffle of his small feet that made a strange sound as he moved.
Luigi sighed. There were so many different personalities to handle, and there were still a lot more to meet. He was glad he had Mario by his side, or he wouldn’t know what to do. Hell, he would’ve never stepped out of the classroom if he wasn’t there with him.
Mario: “Look Luigi, a little doggy!”
Luigi was quickly snapped out of his thoughts as his brother pointed to a dog in an oversized beanie, who was checking out a door on the other row of the dormitory.
Luigi: (“I hope he’s-a not like the other dog we met…”)
As the two walked over to him, he noticed their presence, and turned to face them. He looked slightly shaken, but wore a large smile.
???: “Sup! I’m Parappa, the Ultimate Rapper!”
Luigi: “Rapper?”
Parappa: “Yeah! I’m famous in my town for being the coolest rapper ever known! I even convinced a guy to stop terrorising the town with noodles through a rap battle!”
Luigi: “That’s-a pretty impressive!”
Mario: “Oh, noodles… That makes-a me hungry…”
Parappa: “Haha, thanks. But now, we’re stuck in this strange school, and I dunno how to get out… But don’t worry! All I gotta do is believe!”
Luigi: (“Is that some sorta coping mechanism? Doesn’t sound-a too bad…”)
Mario: “So how far has your believing got you?”
Parappa: “Well, I’ve been checking each room here for some kinda clue, but they all seem to be locked…”
Luigi: “Really?”
Mario: “What’s the point of-a having rooms if we-a not allowed in?”
Parappa: “I dunno… But I’m gonna keep checking! There’s gotta be something!”
Parappa seemed pretty optimistic despite his current luck. It made Luigi mentally root for him.
Luigi: “Good luck on your-a findings!”
Parappa: “Thanks!”
As Parappa went back to checking the doors, the brothers spotted another, larger door between the dorm rows, and decided to check there next.
It appeared to be a locker room, with rows of benches sprawled out in the middle, and not-so-vibrant grey lockers decorating the sides. Each, like the doors, belonged to a different person, their name engraved on the front. They saw two girls in the room, both with very brightly coloured hair. The brothers decided to talk to the one nearest to them, who was looking at a row of lockers. She had long teal hair bunched up in two ponytails that went to her ankles, which Luigi thought looked similar to Ashley’s.
Luigi: “Hello.”
???: “Oh, konichiwa! I’m Hatsune Miku, Ultimate Virtual Diva!”
Miku struck a pose, holding a peace sign up to her face and smiling cheerily. She definitely looked like a pop star. But one thing wasn’t as clear.
Luigi: “Virtual Diva?”
Miku: “Hai! I am a VOCALOID program that can sing anything my master wishes! I can sing a wide range of genres, and become many different personalities in my songs! I also have a large loving fan base, ehehe~!”
Luigi: (“She seems a little full of herself… but I guess-a if she can sing anything, she must-a be pretty talented.”)
Mario: “You don’t look like-a program.”
Miku: “I am, but sometimes I can take a real form - it’s really fun for tours!”
Luigi: “Do you know-a why you’re here?”
Miku: “Oh, no… I don’t know if anyone does. That white-haired guy seems to know something though!”
Mario: “White-haired guy?”
Miku: “He’s kinda mysterious, and weird, but super cute too! He told me about our Ultimate Talents.”
Luigi: (“It seems-a like this ‘guy’ knows what’s going on… I wonder where he is.”)
Miku: “Well, I hope we can get along! Sayonara! Mwuah~!”
The diva blew a kiss and skipped rhythmically back to the lockers. Luigi felt slightly more at ease with her bubbly personality - for a program she definitely felt sincere.
Luigi noticed Mario walking to the other girl, and ran over to catch up to him. On closer inspection, this girl had red hair tied in twin tails, and was mischievously trying to break into one of the many lockers. Luigi assumed it probably wasn’t hers. She noticed the two, and quickly stopped what she was doing.
???: “Oh, konichiwa! I’m Hatsune Miku, Ultimate Virtual Diva!”
She struck a pose, holding a peace sign up to her face and smiling cheerily.
Luigi: “Another one?!”
???: “Pffft—“
The girl suddenly burst out into a chuckle.
???: “Haha, just messing with you! I’m actually Teto Kasane!”
Luigi: “Oh, haha… Wait, so what’s-a your Ultimate Talent?”
Suddenly, the girl went silent.
Teto: “...It’s… uh…”
Mario: “Hurry up already!”
Teto: “Ultimate Secondary Diva…”
Luigi: “Secondary Diva?”
Teto: “Don’t get the wrong idea, okay?! It’s just because my program isn’t as known as VOCALOID… and you just gotta know how to tune me… and I don’t have big teal ponytails…”
Luigi: (“Just a second ago she was full of mischief… now she-a seems very defensive. Though, I suppose being called ‘secondary’ isn’t that nice… I can-a relate.”)
Mario: “Who gave-a you that title? The white-haired guy?”
Teto: “No… I just woke up with that thought already in my head… I bet it was some cruel hater-hacker…”
Teto crossed her arms and mumbled to herself.
Luigi: “Anyway, have-a you found out anything about this place?”
Mario: “Or anyone behind it?”
Teto: “Psh, no. But there’s some tall guy in the trash room next door… maybe he feels at home in there, hehe.”
Luigi: “Thanks…?”
Dismissing the remark, the brothers ventured to the trash room. Waste bins scattered the room, and a large furnace stood in the middle of the back wall. And, just as Teto said, a man was in there - the first thing Luigi noticing was his abnormally long legs.
???: “Oh, ‘ello.”
Luigi: “Ciao!”
???: “I’m Stuart Pot, but me stage name ‘es 2D. I’m the Ultimate Lead Singer.”
Mario: “Another singer?”
2D: “Oh, roight, I guess you’ve met those girls, eh? The blue one’s quite energetic, and she really loikes me ‘air.”
Luigi: (“Why? Maybe because it’s-a same kinda color..?”)
2D: “She reminds me of me ‘offa band member… It’d be noice to collab with ‘er, but now's not exactly the toime.”
Mario: “Definitely not. We need-a find out what’s-a going on!”
2D: “Roight… but I haven’t found anything really. Sorry mate.”
Luigi: “It’s alright. From what I can understand, no one-a knows anything…”
Mario: “Except for that white-haired guy. We need-a find him!”
Luigi: “Oh yeah. 2D, do you know where he-a might be?”
2D: “Oh, ‘im? No clue. He comes and goes fast, kinda loike some shadow.”
Luigi: (“He-a seems pretty mysterious…”)
Mario: “Well, we’ll be-a sure to catch him, right Luigi?”
Mario wrapped his arm around Luigi’s shoulder. It was only a small interaction, but it made Luigi feel just a bit better on the inside, if only by a little.
Luigi: “Yeah!”
2D: “Good luck, mates!”
After their goodbyes, the brothers agreed to leave the dormitory area, as they seemed to have explored it all. Proceeding the boost of confidence, Luigi was eager to move on, jogging to the door in the locker room that lead back to the dorms. Just as he pulled open the door and stepped out, he bashed into something. The sudden impact stunned him, and he fell to the floor.
Mario: “Are you alright, bro?”
Mario helped his brother off the ground.
Luigi: “Yeah, I’m-a fine…”
???: “Oi! Watch where yer goin’ yer stupid peck neck!”
The something happened to be a someone, and that someone wasn’t very happy. They stood up, brushed the dirt off their suit and stood with their arms crossed.
Now able to get a better look at them, Luigi noticed that it was a bird. Well, it had feathers, but it didn't exactly seem to be a bird. And, as well as that, it didn’t seem to have any eyes.
???: “Well? What have ye gotta say for yerself?”
Luigi: “Oh, I-I’m-a sorry…”
Mario: “Luigi, you don’t gotta apologise for anything! This guys-a taking this too seriously!”
???: “Too seriously?! You could of dislocated me beak! Plucked half me feathers out! Twist me blooming ankles!”
Luigi: (“Maybe he is taking this too seriously...”) “Look, I think we got off on the wrong foot. We can-a put this silly thing behind us, right?”
???: “...I suppose so, for now.”
Mario: “So, who are you?”
???: “I guess ye were wonderin’ who I am. I’m The Conductor, the Ultimate Movie Director!”
Luigi: “Movie director? That sounds like a fun job!”
The Conductor: “It would be fun if ye crew wasn’t a bunch of brain-dead peck necks! But, I suppose this year, I had a new actor that really brought the audience in! And I managed to grab first place for the Bird Movie Awards once again!”
Luigi: “How many awards do you have?”
The Conductor: “Eh, about… 52 of ‘em. Haven’t lost a single one.”
Luigi: “Whoa!”
Mario: “You haven’t seen a white-haired guy around here have-a you?”
The Conductor: “I did meet one. Something kinda… off about him. No idea where he is now.”
Mario grunted.
The Conductor: “Anyway, if ye excuse me, I’d like to take a look at this place - it could be a good place to film a potential scene…”
And with that, The Conductor walked past, eyeing around the locker room. Mario glanced at him with a dirty look.
Mario: “What’s-a his problem?”
Luigi: “I dunno. Maybe he’s just-a stressed out… We don’t know where we are after all…”
The brothers walked back to the large hallway where the classrooms were. There was another corridor on the opposite side they hadn’t checked yet.
Down the corridor was a double door leading to what could have been a gym, and a smaller corridor that branched off to the right. When Luigi peaked down it, he noticed a large red door, with handles resembling a black and white bear - similar to the ones he saw on blackboard in the classroom he woke up in. What he also noticed, however, was another person. It was a girl, in some kind of school uniform, examining the door.
He looked to Mario for reassurance, and he nodded. Walking down the narrow corridor, Luigi cleared his throat.
Luigi: “Hello! Do you know where that door leads t—“
The girl had turned around as quick as lightning, with an expression on her face that Luigi couldn’t describe. It looked twisted, yet emotionless - a kind of silent threat.
???: “Who are you…?”
Luigi: “I-I-I’m Luigi, a-and—!”
Mario: “What’s-a with the creepy getup? You-a working with King Boo?”
???: “...”
The girl dropped her expression.
???: “...It seems you two are harmless.”
Mario: “Harmless? Have you seen what I can-a do to ‘ol Koopa? If you don’t shut this gig up, then I’m-a gonna have to end this now!”
???: “You think I’m behind this? You don’t even know who I am…”
Luigi: “That is true, we have-a never met you before… and Bowser’s never really hired humans.”
Mario: “So just who are you then?”
???: “I’m Ayano Aishi, but I am mostly referred to by my nickname, Yandere-Chan. I am… the Ultimate Yandere.”
Luigi: “What’s a yandere?”
Yandere-Chan: “...A yandere is someone who protects their love - their senpai, no matter the cost, doing anything for them… even hurting others.”
Mario: “What?! You kill people?!”
Yandere-Chan: “...I never said I killed people.”
Luigi: “Uh, so, what about this-a door?”
Yandere-Chan: “This door is locked. I have little idea what’s on the other side… It’s too vague to say for sure. And this bear handle… I have never seen a design like this before.”
Mario: “So, a useless door… Or, Bowser’s hiding spot.”
Yandere-Chan: “Who is Bowser?”
Luigi: “Don’t-a worry about it…”
Yandere-Chan: “...”
Luigi: (“She seems-a kind of… creepy. But I guess I shouldn’t assume anything.”)
Mario and Luigi went back out the corridor, and checked what was behind the double doors. It appeared to be an entrance way to another room. There was a trophy case at the side, along with many other statues and items placed all around. And, as if Luigi was already expecting it, someone was there too. Though, it was less of a someone, and more of a somepony.
Luigi: “Oh, hello there!”
The pony jolted at his greeting, and shakily turned to face them.
???: “U-um… h-hello…”
Her voice seemed small, and somewhat fragile.
Luigi: “I’m Luigi, and this is my brother, Mario. What’s-a your name?”
???: “I-I’m… Flu…”
She quietly mumbled the last part.
Luigi: “Ah, sorry. I didn’t quite-a catch that.”
???: “I’m Flutter…”
Luigi’s eyebrows furrowed in concern. She seemed very timid, and it reminded him of himself.
Mario: “C’mon, we haven’t got all day!”
???: “I’m Fluttershy, a-and I’m the Ultimate Kindness!”
She had blurted out from fear of Mario’s annoyance, Luigi assumed.
Luigi: “Ultimate Kindness?”
Fluttershy: “Y-yes… I am part of the Elements of Harmony, a group of ponies who each have their own special trait that create a strong bond of friendship. I’m the Element of Kindness.”
Luigi: (“That sounds kinda ridiculous… but I’m-a plumber who fights a turtle, so I have-a no right to say anything.”)
Mario: “And what do you-a think of this place?”
Fluttershy: “It’s weird that we’ve all ended up here with no memory of how… Oh, I hope we’re not trapped here…”
Mario: “We’ll be-a sure to find a way out fast!”
???: “You think there’s a chance of escape…?”
Luigi froze at the raspy yet solemn voice that uttered his deepest fear about the place. Once he turned around, however, his eyes widened.
???: “It’s wonderful, isn’t it? Being back in a similar situation… it feels me with despair. But… it also fills me with hope.”
1, 2, 3… 14, 15… This was the last person! The white-haired guy so many had mentioned before! What did he know that they all didn’t?
Luigi: “E-excuse me, just who are-a you?”
The guy turned to look Luigi dead in the eye. He couldn’t quite make out the expression in his eyes, but he bore a soft smile.
???: “I’m Nagito Komaeda… the Ultimate Hope!”
He chuckled to himself, as if it were to mean something superior.
Mario: “...Hope? How’s that a talent?”
Nagito: “Hope grows deeper than a talent ever could… it takes over everything, holding on to every part of your body. It makes itself apparent, shining through even in the most hopeless situations!”
Nagito lifted his arms up in explanation, to gesture hope’s ‘deeper meaning’.
Mario: “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve-a ever heard!”
Nagito: “Ah, it may be hard to understand now, but soon… all will become clear.”
Luigi: (“All will become-a clear…?”)
Mario: “Uh-Huh… And-a what’s your deal with these ‘Ultimate thingys’?”
Nagito: “You don’t know? You’re here for a reason, you know. Each and every one of you has something special inside of them… a meaning, a purpose, a gift that makes you the best of your kind. That is your Ultimate Talent.”
Mario: “Then, what’s-a mine and Luigis’?”
Nagito: “If you don’t remember it, then it’s for you to decide… Why are you here? Why were you chosen?”
Despite Nagito’s strange and decrepit words, Mario decided to think about it.
Mario: “Well… I suppose-a mine would be the Ultimate Hero! And Luigi’s could be the Ultimate Plumber!”
He wrapped his arm around Luigi’s shoulder once again, in glee at his idea. Luigi looked at his brother in disappointment and betrayal.
Luigi: (“Really? I get-a Ultimate Plumber?”)
Nagito: “Perfect! This is perfect! All the Ultimates are ready to combat despair!”
???: “Despair? What’s with all this despair doo-hickey?!”
The three turned to see that the others had slowly trickled into the room - presumably from the commotion of Nagito’s ramblings.
Dedede: “I didn’t sign up for no battles! I only got one enemy in mind, and he’s pink, round, and annoying as heck!”
Miku: “Is he talking about a gumball? Oh~ maybe it’s a gumball he couldn’t blow a bubble with?”
Ashley: “That’s the most stupid reasoning I’ve ever heard.”
Peter: “Hey, pal, do ya know where the exit is? I gotta take a huge piss.”
Teto: “That’s not even relevant right now… It’s actually kinda disgusting… Ewww.”
The Conductor: “But, where is the damn exit? I’ve gotta filming scheduled today!”
Mr. Krabs: “Yeah, and I’ve gotta count me money!”
Everyone started arguing about why they had to leave. It was one voice over another, over another, until it was all an incoherent mess.
That is, until a bell rung out.
*Ding dong, bing bong*
Like some kind of command, everyone had silenced their shouting. They all looked up to a monitor which now flickered to life, displaying a deep grey static. It stayed that way for only a few moments, until a silhouette faded upon it.
???: “Aaaahem! Testing, testing! Mike check, one two… Oh, who am I kidding? I already know this thing works!”
The voice shot Luigi as playful and out of place, though, so did everything else here anyway.
???: “To all incoming students! I would like to begin the entrance ceremony at… right now! Please make your way to the gymnasium at your earliest convenience. I’ll be waiting…!”
Just as it appeared, the silhouette had gone, leaving everyone in a state of confusion.
Nagito: “Ah, it’s starting! Our school life is starting! Hope will surely make its way through you all very soon!”
After chuckling to himself, Nagito made his way to the double doors on the other side, gesturing to everyone else to come with him. As it turned out, everyone was too curious to refuse.
Ashley: “That must be the gym. I’d rather find out what this is all about, I guess.”
Teto: “Yeah, this place stinks anyway!”
Parappa: “It doesn’t smell that bad, does it?”
Brian: “Who the hell cares? I need to see what this is.”
One by one, the group followed Nagito into the large gym. Luigi was the last to join them all, taking a deep breath before doing so.
The Conductor: “...And nobody’s here! What a complete waste of me time!”
2D: “Maybe they’re just runnin’ late?”
Yandere-Chan: “The voice seemed pretty eager for this ‘entrance ceremony’. I doubt they won’t show up.”
Miku: “Maybe they’re super super lazy!”
???: “I’m not lazy…”
As if on cue, everyone turned to the direction of the sickly sweet voice, and anticipated the arrival of someone walking up onto the gymnasium stage. Instead, however, something popped up from behind the podium and landed heavily on top.
And that something… was a bear?
???: “I’m right here! On time! Record time, even!”
Fluttershy: “...A teddy bear?”
Dedede: “A talkin’ teddy bear?!”
???: “I’m not a teddy bear.”
It was so surreal to Luigi. Sure, his whole life seemed just as strange, but this? For some reason, it just felt… off.
Peter: “Man, this reminds of the time I met Winne the Pooh.”
Brian: “Peter… that was a man in a suit.”
Peter: “No! It was the REAL Winne the Pooh!”
???: “Enough about fake bears! I am Monokuma! The school’s charming and loveable headmaster!”
Luigi: “Headmaster…?”
Monokuma: “Puhuhu… you don’t know who I am? Everyone knows who I am! I’m an icon to the world!”
Ashley: “...I don’t think anyone knows you.”
Sans: “Sorry pal, I know a lotta people, but you don’t ring any bells, heheh.”
Nagito: “Oh, but I do.”
Everyone turned to Nagito - it felt like no surprise he would. He knew everything else so far.
Monokuma: “Gee, Nagito? You’re here too…? Were they that desperate for people?”
Nagito: “Honestly, I’m flattered. Having the chance to experience even more hope than before is… beyond words. Though, the only downside is that Hajime isn’t here…”
Miku: “Hajime?”
Nagito: “Haha… nevermind.”
The Conductor: “What’s this damn peck-neck yappin’ about?”
Mr. Krabs: “Yeah, give us the fine print on this one! Not like I didn’t read it or anything, but…”
2D: “Read ‘wot...?”
Monokuma: “Ah, we’re going off topic people! The word count is already huge as it is! And we haven’t even got to the juicy part yet!”
The bear tapped his foot in annoyance, and everyone turned back to him.
Monokuma: “Now, without further interruption, let us commence the entrance ceremony!”
Dedede: “Why do we need a damn entrance ceremony?! What’re we even enterin’?”
Monokuma: “Simple: your school life.”
Luigi: (“School life…?”)
Peter: “But I already had an episode where I retook the 3rd grade.”
Mr. Krabs: “Ah, me school days… seems so long ago…”
Teto: “It probably was you old shrimp.”
Mr. Krabs: “S-shrimp?!”
Brian: “This is ridiculous.”
Monokuma: “Quite the contrary, actually. Despite the hardships and challenges you face, you’ll never forget the beautiful moments between you and your classmates enjoying lunch together out in the cherry blossoms… Ahhh, what a heart-throbbing sight… Just kidding! All that sappy stuff makes school sooo boring! So, this school life will be very, very, very interesting!”
Ashley: “...Interesting?”
Monokuma: “Yup! Don’t-cha just hate the outside world? So dirty, so dull, so full of hatred? Well, fear not! For this school life’s end date… is never!”
Luigi: “N-never?!”
Luigi couldn’t help but call out. What the bear had just said made no sense. They were supposed to live a school life, trapped in here, forever?
Mario: “I know what you’re-a up to, Bowser! You can-a stop with this weird bear now! Show yourself, and fight-a me like a real villain!”
Oh, yeah. Mario still thought it was all Bowser’s doing. Maybe it was after all.
Monokuma: “...Hmm? Bowser?”
Mario: “Stop playing games! I’ve-a had enough of you!”
Monokuma: “...Ohhh! He’s that… tortoise guy? Haha, he’s not behind this! Not a chance he would be! Not even the lowest chance of all chances!”
Mario: “That’s it! I’m-a just gonna squish your little bear friend!”
Monokuma: “Whoa, whoa! Hang on, champ. Violence against the headmaster is strictly prohibited!”
But Mario didn’t care what Monokuma had to say. He had already lunged forward, making a B-line for the so-called ‘headmaster’. He didn’t get far, however, as someone with trembling arms held him back.
Luigi: “Mario…!”
Mario: “Luigi?! Get off-a me! He’s gonna get away!”
Everyone was staring at them now. He hated all the eyes on him, but Luigi had to protect his brother from making a mistake he may regret. Everything just felt too unnatural for it to be in anyway connected to Bowser.
Luigi: “...And what if it’s not-a Bowser…?”
Mario: “But, it is—!”
Monokuma: “I’m not! Don’t compare me to a bulky-shelled fatso! My intentions aren’t to steal princesses, you hear?!”
Luigi kept a firm grip on his brother, trying to stop his hands slipping or being overpowered by Mario’s frantic squirming. After a few moments, Mario stopped.
Mario: “...I guess-a not.”
Luigi hesitantly let go of his brother, giving him a soft smile. It wasn’t returned however.
Mario: “...Then, what do you-a want?”
Monokuma: “Ya got ears, plumber? I already told you - this is your never-ending school life!”
Miku: “Never ending? But, I have so much to do~!!”
The Conductor: “I’m not gonna stay in this stupid ‘lil school just ‘cause some bear said so!”
Brian: “I’m leaving.”
Monokuma: “But, you can't leave silly. There’s no exit. Well, there is, but there’s no way to get it open! It’s shut reeeeal tight!”
Brian: “Then I’ll just—!”
Nagito: “You’ll do what? Are any of us even strong enough to open it?”
Brian: “Well, Peter…!”
Peter: “Sorry, Brian. No beer means no energy...”
Brian: “...God fucking damnit.”
Nagito: “It's alright. It’s all just challenges you Ultimates will have to face, but with a strong build up of hope you’re sure to overcome it!”
Dedede: “Will ya shut up with this hope nonsense?! It’s startin’ to freak me out!”
Ashley: “Yeah, it’s just… annoying now.”
Monokuma: “But… I suppose he’s right. There is one way to get outta here, but I dunno why you’d wanna leave!”
The Conductor: “Then why didn’t ye tell us in the first place, yer peck-neck?!”
Monokuma: “Giving you an overload of information would’ve melted your poor little dumbfounded brains… I mean, you still can’t come to terms with your permanent life here! Sheesh!”
Fluttershy: “B-because… Because it can’t b-be true!”
Monokuma: “Let’s just cut to the chase here folks… If you really, really feel like wanting to get outta here, then all you gotta do is… disturb the peaceful school life!”
Parappa: “Disturb the… peaceful school life?”
Yandere-Chan: “You don’t mean…?”
Monokuma: “Yeah, it would be pretty disturbing if one person were to… murder another.”
Luigi: “M-murder?!”
Monokuma: “Stabbing, strangling, bludgeoning, poisoning… It doesn’t matter how you do it! You must kill someone if you want to leave.”
Luigi couldn’t comprehend what had just been uttered by that sadistic bear. Murder? To murder complete strangers? To murder complete strangers to leave? He was surprised at how he was managing to stay upright.
Brian: “What…? What the fuck?!”
Teto: “What the hell? This wouldn’t be funny even as a cruel joke!”
Fluttershy: “M-m-mu… Mur..?”
Everyone was just as confused. Except for one.
Nagito: “Aha! I was waiting for this moment! To hear those ones once again… it’s… it’s just so splendid!”
Mr. Krabs: “What’re you blabberin’ about, laddie?! This is not what I signed up for!”
2D: “I didn’t even sign anythin’!”
Sans: “So, uh, what if a murder does happen?”
Miku: “You’re already thinking about that?! Does a skeleton need to kill? Do you need more skeleton friends???”
Sans: “Well… I’m just wonderin’.”
Monokuma: “Good question. You see, it would be pretty boring if a murder occurred and the killer got off scot-free, y’know? So, once a murder has taken place, there will be a short amount of time where you can investigate the murder of your poor little classmate, which will soon be followed by the infamously heart-racing class trial!”
Luigi: “Class trial…?”
Monokuma: “Let me explain. Ahem… During the class trial, you will present your evidence for who you think the killer is. If the culprit is successfully found out, then… uh oh! They’ll receive punishment! However, if you pick the wrong person, then… oh dear! They get to leave the school and the rest of you will be punished! What a twist!”
Dedede: “None of this is makin’ any damn sense!”
Teto: “Yeah, it’s not like anyone’s gonna kill anyway! We’re complete strangers!”
Parappa: “I’d never kill anyone!”
Ashley: “But aren’t the fact that we’re strangers makes it easier to kill someone?”
Fluttershy: “H-huh…?”
2D: “With no real connection with each other, there wouldn’t be any regrets I guess…”
Miku: “But to kill someone is to...!”
Monokuma: “To kill someone is to kill someone. It’s as simple as that! Were you guys all dropped on your head as a baby or something?”
Peter: “Hey! That happened during my birth!”
Mario: “This has to-a be the dumbest thing I’ve-a ever heard! If you’re-a not Bowser, then there’s no point listening to you!”
Monokuma: “Well, listen or not. Doesn’t mean that someone else isn’t plotting the most gruesomest murder at this very moment!”
The Conductor: “Like that weirdo peck-neck?!”
Nagito: “Ha, I would never kill someone for my own will.”
Teto: “You totally would!”
Nagito: “I don’t rely on malice… I give my all to hope, and whoever is full of the strongest hope is who I will help.”
Nagito smiled once again. It was incomprehensible as to what he meant, and Luigi couldn’t look at him any longer.
Monokuma: “We done with all the reactions? Good! Cause there’s just one more thing I need to talk about before your killing school life can officially begin, and your murderous tendencies can be released!”
Luigi: “...What is it?”
Monokuma: “Riiiiight here!”
Monokuma pulled out about a dozen or so digital-looking pads, and tossed them out to each person. When Luigi caught his, it appeared to be a device.
Monokuma: “Sometimes referred to as an e-handbook, other times referred to as a mono-pad. For old times sake, let’s call them e-handbooks! This lil’ baby holds all the utmost important information for your school life, such as a map of the school and info on each student. It also has very important school rules listed on there - so be sure to read them! Each one is personal to you, so don’t you dare think about loosing it!”
Luigi heard Mario groan heavily beside him.
Monokuma: “Oh, I’m just so excited! I can almost taste the despair! And I guess this concludes your entrance ceremony, sooo, get killing as soon as possible! Thanks!”
And just like that, Monokuma disappeared before their very eyes, with no further explanation. In fact, his whole explanation just created more questions!
Mr. Krabs: “...So, um, what now?”
Miku: “I don’t know… this is too crazy for me~”
Dedede: “Are we just supposed to live in this school for the rest of our dang lives? I’ve got things to do!”
The Conductor: “I already said I’ve got a movie to be done!”
Yandere-Chan: “That isn’t our only choice…”
2D: “Are you talkin’ abou’...?”
Brian: “Murder.”
Fluttershy: “E-eep!”
Peter: “Brian, pal. You ain’t thinkin’ about…?”
Brian: “Hell no.”
Peter: “Hell no, too!”
Yandere-Chan: “But someone else could. Anyone could be. You don’t know anyone for sure.”
Nagito: “How mysterious of you to say… Is there anyone we can trust? Anyone you truly know?”
Mario: “...”
Luigi: (“Anyone I-a truly know…?”)
And with that, everyone looked at each other. They were right. They were all complete strangers, forced into this ‘killing-game’ without warning, no idea how they got here or who was behind it all. No one could speak. It’s not like they didn’t want to - but no one had the guts to. Anyone could have ill-intent on the rest of them. The goal was murder, plain and simple, and that’s what made it worse. And now, who could they trust? Who could Luigi trust? Who would his brother trust?
Could Luigi trust himself…?
