Chapter Text
“Hey hyung! We ran out of soda!”
“Already?! What are you guys doing with the soda?!”
The four of us are here in our house for our usual Friday night hangout. Yeonjun hyung has always been with us since the day we ate under the big tree in the campus. Both Taehyun and Hueningkai were fond of him. He was the oldest among the four of us but whenever we are together, it seems like he’s just the same age with Tyun and Hyuka. But honestly, he’s different when it’s just the two of us. Anyway, I should buy soda from the convenience store nearby.
“Fine! I’m going to buy so-“
“No hyung! Just stay there! Tyun and I will buy it!” Hyuka winked at me.
Geez! This kid! He’ll do anything just to spend time with his loml!
“Wait, what?!” Taehyun protested but Hyuka grabbed his wrist immediately and pull him out of the room.
“Let’s go, Hyunnie!”
I just watched the two of them as they went out the door with a huge smile on my brother’s face as if he won the lottery.
“He really has a huge crush on Hyunnie, don’t he?” Yeonjun hyung asked out of nowhere.
“Yes! He’s always screaming about how Tyun is pretty, pure perfection, and talented. He even talks in his sl- Wait! You know?!?!”
“It’s too obvious for me not to notice. The way he looks at him says too much.” Yeonjun sat beside me with a bag of chips in his hands.
By now, I can’t deny that i’m completely comfortable with Yeonjun hyung. It felt like we’ve known each other for so long. The way he clings on me everytime means that he’s also comfortable with me as well. Being with him is already a daily thing for me.
“How about you, Soobinie?” He asked as he munched on the chips.
“Huh?”
“Are you crushing on someone?” He looked at me in the eyes waiting for my answer. That moment, it seems like my mind stopped working and I don’t understand why.
I can feel the redness slowly crawling up my face and the room suddenly becomes hot. What is this?
Am I crushing on someone? But I don’t even know what I feels like having a crush.
“M-me? I don’t have any…” I answered avoiding his gaze almost immediately.
“Is that so? Your life is a little boring.” he laughed while putting the bag of chips on the coffee table.
“You’re so mean, hyung! It’s just that I don’t get the idea of liking someone who can’t even return your feelings. It’s like buying a mystery box from some online shops without knowing if the amount you paid for it will be worth it. It’s like spending money on claw machine where you know there’s a higher chance of not getting anything.” The atmosphere starting to get a little serious.
“It’s not always about reciprocating the feelings, Binnie. It is about taking the risk just for you to let them feel that they’re special and important to you. It’s about making the person feel your love for them. It’s the real meaning of love. Even if they can’t return the feelings, as long as they’re happy, you’re already contented. At least you won’t regret that you didn’t show them how you feel.”
I looked at Yeonjun hyung. He’s staring out the window with a smile plastered on his face. Like what he is saying was from his own experience. His eyes were glowing too. He looks beautiful.
“If you did that, then you’re really in love.”
He slowly looked at me. There was more sparkle in his eyes this time but there is something wrong. His eyes look sad too. The glow is there but the sadness is still visible.
I’m confused. It seems like his eyes were telling me something but I can’t understand what is it.
“Hyung, is something wrong?” I asked, voice laced with worry.
He just smiled at me. The same smile plastered in his face a while ago.
“You know what, Soobinie? It’s much better to take risk and get hurt after than regretting that you didn’t do anything. It’s harder to deal with regret than pain. Regret will haunt you…
forever.”
“Guys its already late. What if you sleep here for tonight?”
Its already 11:47 in the evening. Taehyun and Yeonjun hyung are still here because we forgot about the time since we’re enjoying the movie too much.
Yeonjun hyung lying down beside me with his head on my lap and my hand ruffling his hair. He loves this so much. Sometimes he’ll just grab my hand and put it in his head asking me to play with his hair. He is a big baby if you’re going to ask me.
“I’m just going to call my mom...” Taehyun said while reaching for his phone
“Oh! She already knows, Tyun! And she said it’s okay for you to stay the night.” Hyuka said while pulling Taehyun back to his seat.
“Oh?”
That proud smile on Hyuka’s face! I think he planned all of this ahead.
“Hyung, how about y- oh?”
I was about to ask Yeonjun hyung but when I looked at him, he’s sleeping peacefully already. Maybe waking him up isn’t a good idea. He’s living alone in his apartment anyway.
It’s almost one in the morning but I’m still wide awake. The three of them were all asleep. Hyuka and Taehyun were cuddling each other on the mattress on the floor. While Yeonjun hyung is still sleeping with his head on my lap. He looks so peaceful. His lips were formed in a cute pout. Are they normally like that? Cute. Oh! And his lashes were long! Wow. He is indeed the epitome of beauty. I can hear his soft snores. My back is aching a little but I can’t wake up this angel right here beside me.
I suddenly remember our conversation a while ago.
“Taking risk, huh?”
I took a deep breath to try clear out my mind.
“But I’m not that brave to take risk, hyung.” I slowly stroke his blue locks. His hair is so soft and it always smells like lavender shampoo all the time.
“If only I was just as brave as my brother…”
I've been hanging out with Yeonjun hyung for couple of weeks now and everytime he'll beam me a smile, I can't help but feel something in my stomach. There is always this unknown feeling whenever I'm with him. Maybe because I never really had a close friend near my age. I'm used to hanging out with Hyuka and Tyun. I got few friends from my class but we're not close enough to the point where I'm comfortable enough to hangout with them everytime.
It's always the unknown feeling in my chest when I'm with him. I don't know but maybe it's just because he's different. How will I say this? He's the type of friend who pays attention to you everytime. He's really caring and sweet. He's like those ideal lead character stated in books whom everyone falls in love with.
I slowly remove the strands of hair that covers his face for me to have a clearer view of the beauty right here in front of me.
“If only I have the guts to explore more of what I'm feeling..."
Even the room is so dark, I can still see his face clearly. Perfection.
“But I’m not, hyung. I’m scared…”
He shifted a little and let out a little sigh. Cute. He looks like a small kid in deep slumber.
“So… I’ll just ignore it as much as I can.” I laughed bitterly.
I continue playing with his soft locks until my eyelids felt heavy.
I woke up from the sun rays hitting my face and the loud noises coming from the living room. I can’t remember what time I fell asleep last night. I think the others are up by now.
I shifted, trying to continue my slumber and enjoy the comfort and warmth of my bed and my thick blanket. Ignoring the yells of the loud kids outside.
Wait. What?!
I’m lying on my bed and this is my blanket which means I’m inside my room.
MY ROOM!
The last thing I remember was I’m sitting uncomfortably in the sofa while Yeonjun hyung was lying beside me. Why am I inside my room?
Did I sleep walk last night?! Maybe my body felt too uncomfortable so it just automatically walked itself and went to my room.
I open my eyes to check if I’m really inside my room.
White walls, white curtains and a little disorganized study table. Good natural lightings. Yes, this is my room.
When did I get in here? Omg Choi Soobin! Sleep walking is not good you know that.
My messy thoughts stopped when I felt something moved from the opposite side of my bed. I turn around just to see Yeonjun hyung sleeping beautifully. He is sitting on the floor while his head rested on my bed.
I can’t stop looking at him. He’s just perfect and breathtaking you know.
Maybe staring at him for a little wouldn’t hurt, yeah?
God! Why is this person this perfect? His soft locks, his sharp eyes, his cute cheek bones and his fluffy cheeks, his pouty lips and his round face. I can’t get enough looking at him.
“Stop staring, Soobin-ah!” Yeonjun said in his deep morning voice still sounding so sleepy.
“I-I thought you were sleeping… a-and… I am not s-staring! Stop dreaming, hyung!”
I turned my back on him and cover my face using my blanket. You’re so stupid Choi Soobin
“cute.” I heard him let out a little laugh.
And there was silence again not until someone barge in almost breaking my door.
“Hey! Sleepyhead hyungs! Breakfast is ready! GET UP NOW!!”
“Shut up, Hyuka! You’re too loud!” I throw the pillow I was hugging a while ago but he dodges and run out of my room laughing like a crazy kid.
Yeonjun hyung get up, still laughing from the scene. He straightening his crumpled shirt, hair still messy and eyes still droopy. He stretched out his hands to my direction, sunlight that passed through my curtains hitting his face making him glow. He flashed me a smile. "Get up now. You're probably hungry."
Still in daze, I grabbed his hand and in that moment, something hit me.
but then, I decided to ignore it.