Chapter Text
A young girl peeks into the lit kitchen, drawn forwards by the smell of baked goods. An older woman walks around, manning multiple electric appliances while juggling goods fresh out of the oven. She sets a pan of cupcakes down, nudging up the frame of her glasses with the back of her wrist before moving it onto one of many cooling racks. With the brief reprieve from the loud beeps, she turned back to a small griddle to check on some pancakes. As she turned back around, she caught sight of the little shape that had silently made her way down two flights of stairs.
Jane: GAGE! Well now I see why your father jokes about putting a bell on you, you scared me right out of my skin!
Gage: I'm sorry Ms. Jane, I won't do it again...
Jane: Don't worry about it, I actually did it to my father on multiple occasions. But what are you doing up so early? It's barely seven in the morning.
Gage: Dad and I always get up at this time. We usually go on morning runs in the cemetery before my homeschooling lessons, or used to.
Jane: Used to? You already finished your school work?
Gage: Mmhm! All the way until 9th grade!
Confident that she had enough stock for the day, Jane walked over to Gage and helped her into one of the island-counter chairs.
Jane: Ninth grade?! You don't have to do any schoolwork until you're 15... you already sound so much like your father.
Gage looked at Jane with wide-eyes.
Gage: Ms. Jane? What was my dad like back then?
Jane: Dearie, you can call me Auntie Jane. It's ok... Now your father...
She thinks back to the time in Sburb, all of the arguments and fights, the tears and laughs, dumb jokes only the four of them understood, one of the worst birthdays ever, all of it seeming like it was a dream at points. But honestly, the thought of Jake back then was beyond her grasp. He was different depending on who was with him, anyone had to almost sneak up on him and watch him work on his own before the facade was shattered. And if they outright asked about it, he'd get everything packed up, getting embarrassed over nothing but mindless scribbles or absorbing whatever information he could get his hands on.
Jane: Well, he was very smart. More than he ever gave himself credit for. For the longest time we thought he was scribbling down nonsense in notebooks and it turned out to be DNA codes, one was even for the Mother of all trolls! He said he didn't even know what it was for until someone convinced him to actually translate it and run it through a totem lathe and then an alchemiter.
Gage: You mean the Matriorb?
Jane: No dear, she was in her prime. Her next in line is still an egg. But, that's for another day.
Gage: Auntie Jane? Is... my dad not as smart now?
Jane: Goodness no! If anything he's even smarter. I didn't mean to make you think that.
Gage wiggled her way off the chair, curious about what her aunt was doing and more so curious about the large skillet next to the oven. It was pushed aside and still looked brand new. Nothing that could deter a ten-year old's curiosity anyway.
Jane: Eh, brief stint with diner food. Honestly I don't remember the last time I used it.
She finished packing up the pancakes with small bottles of syrup. With the weekend starting they'd sell out fast. Jane looked at Gage, seemingly enamored by the griddle, and smiled. She switched over to the smaller skillet in order to focus on baking again, but the way that her little niece was looking around brought back nostalgic memories.
Jane: Well since we're both up, what do you say we put it to use?
She reached over Gage's head, lifting the griddle up and onto the stove with one hand. The little one had long since gotten intrigued and dragged over a stool so she was able to reach the counter. Jane walked back with everything she needed in a mixing bowl and a recipe in her spare hand. The two of them got to work, Gage prepping and mixing batter while Jane took care of the griddle. Soon the smell of pancakes filled the kitchen again, the life goddess thought back to an easier time when all that mattered was making breakfast with her dad on Saturday mornings.
You wake up, hoping to smell your aunt's famous pancakes. Alas, it was all in a dream. You roll over to check on Tavvy and... the boy's gone. Perhaps you forgot about them having school today? No, it's a Saturday. You check your phone and it's... not Saturday. Ok, that's strange. And you also have a message from someone you don't remember giving your Pesterchum username to. Eh that's a later problem for right now you're actually pretty hungry. Not that you can decide what you're going to have with your phone constantly buzzing.
Hal: Hey, answer the damn phone. Please. The Big Bad Dirk wants to talk.
Gage: Tell him he can fuck right off.
Hal: Timeline got retconned. And everything is pointing to it starting from inside the timeline. Which is where you currently are, if I need to remind you.
Gage: Hal, I'm not six. I know what the basis of a timeline is.
You begin to head downstairs. There's a lot more tech similar to the kind your dad used to help make. Way more than what you remember.
Hal: We're out of the house. This Jake is starting to get more of his powers activated. Basically, he almost threw out the whole timeline after... everything that had happened to him over the past few decades. Everyone is accounted for and safe, but this timeline is going off the rails. Somehow in a good way.
Your phone alerts you of multiple notifications.
Hal: That should keep you in the loop for almost everything so far. Omega Kids have after-school activities today so they should be home closer to 5:00 pm.
Gage: And everyone else?
Hal: Gage, everyone is still asleep. It is currently 6:12 am. On a Monday. You're the first one up. Go make some coffee or something and then just talk to the fucking guy. He seems to still think I will function as a middle-man between the two of you.
Gage: Fine... fine...
You make sure to make your coffee as slowly as you can, just to drag the time out further. Not that it works in your favor, however you begin to respond approximately thirty minutes after talking with Hal.
Ultimate Dirk: Took you long enough. Do you realize how much time I've been wasting while you've been fucking around, I have a planet to keep alive and running.
Gage: And yet here you are. Complaining to the mortal who does not give a single flying fuck.
Ultimate Dirk: Do I have to assume a corporeal form just so you take this seriously?
Gage: No thanks, I already imagine you to have an extremely punchable face. I don't want that image ruined.
An older and meaner looking Dirk materializes in front of you. Or rather across the kitchen island. You don't flinch as he fazes into existence.
Ultimate Dirk: Feast your eyes.
Gage: Well I'll be damned, you do have a punchable face.
Ultimate Dirk: Do you even understand the scale of what's going on here? This timeline's Jake almost wiped it off the map because he let his emotions get in the way and you don't care.
Gage: Yeah, I've died like 24 times so... not really a problem.
Ultimate Dirk: 'Not really a problem.' Well unfortunately for you, it is a problem and it's about to be your problem specifically. This timeline's Jane was off world when the retcon happened.
Gage: And?
Either your lack of caring or attempt at lightening up the situation is driving this guy up the wall. Good.
Ultimate Dirk: The planet that I've spent precious time cultivating is now at risk of being completely taken over by her. And where do you think she'll go afterwards?
Gage: Oh, lemme guess! She's gonna come back here, because that's the clear second step.
Ultimate Dirk: So the troglodyte has basic comprehension skills. Excellent. Now go to the guy and tell him to go back to the way it was before shit gets fucked over more than it already is.
Gage: oh.... oh you actually don't know?
Ultimate Dirk: Know what?
Gage: there's... no 'back to the way it was' with Hope powers. This is 'the way it was.'
Ultimate Dirk: WHAT?!
The lights react with the rage-induced power surge. Things flicker a bit, like they're on the verge of being wiped from existence.
Ultimate Dirk: There's nothing that can be done about this?
Gage: Yeah pretty much.
Ultimate Dirk: And you still don't care.
Gage: Nothing concrete can be done until the game becomes active here, which is now... two years away.
Ultimate Dirk: In two years, everything that I've worked for and sacrificed for will be gone. That isn't an option.
Gage: I mean... there is one way. But they're almost certainly all dead.
Ultimate Dirk: What are you getting at?
Gage: Certain parameters are connected to the house, including a way out of the inactive black hole this planet is contained in. Yeah, I knew about that you don't have to tell me. But... they're all linked with my family. And they haven't been seen since... my 13th birthday.
Ultimate Dirk: What are you getting at?
Gage: If I knew where they were... we'd just have to wait until you precious planet was conquered then essentially... switch them.
Deltrius and Jane's forces would be stuck in here...
Gage: And we would be safe out there with minimal risk of being attacked. But none of that can happen unless we find at least one of them.
You hear your unwilling ally sigh.
Then we're already screwed.
Gage: yeah
He fazes out of existence and you're once again left alone with your coffee. You'd need a miracle for this to work in your favor.
Your name is Dirk Strider. You've been in your late thirties for the past four-hundred years and might have been in this area of Paradox Space equally as long. Technically you are your Ultimate Self, but you don't feel like it. You had an apartment, a successful robotics business, and... a niece. A niece adopted by one of your best friends. You don't know how old she'd be by now or if the plan of getting her to safety even worked. For all you know she could... no best not to dwell on it.