Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

November

Nerima, Japan

In hindsight, Ranma reflected, it was almost depressingly easy to disappear.

He had almost done it a dozen times as a spur-of-the-moment thing. It was only common sense insisting on at least a little bit of planning that had stopped him.

He and the only two people in this godforsaken district he trusted had sat down and helped him plan it out. Routes had been planned. Cover stories had been devised. Lots of tears and hugs were exchanged.

His heart was pounding as he attempted to saunter casually through the Tendo Home’s foyer, his hands in his pockets.

“I’m going out.” He called over his shoulder.

There was no response from Akane, who was already tying her belt tightly around her Gi as she stormed out the backdoor toward the dojo.

The old man gave a noncommittal grunt from his usual position in front of the shogi board.

It was the last time Ranma would ever see either of them.

Ranma paused, not sure what he was waiting for or expecting.

“Bye,” he said quietly, and stepped out, closing the door behind him.

As the sun set over Tokyo, Ranma forced himself to walk slowly through Nerima’s streets. Couldn’t look suspicious.

The large wad of yen in his inside pocket pressed against his muscular chest. With any luck, Nabiki wouldn’t notice for a while that her Blackmail Cash Stash had been raided.

Call it my cut for all those nudes of me that you sold, jerkass, he thought to himself bitterly.

He casually fished out a folder, tucked into the waist of his pants under his shirt. Nabiki had hidden her Blackmail Evidence Binder in the same lockbox behind her bookshelf that her cash was in. The whole thing had been too thick to take, so Ranma had grabbed several handfuls of whatever looked important, the marks that would really buff Nabiki’s wallet.

With a quick hop, he tossed the folder frisbee-style over the chain link fence and into the canal. He kept his casual walk as he heard the folder gently splish into the water behind him, not stopping to watch the pages soak beyond legibility.

It was Nabiki’s own fault. She insisted on hard copy for all of her blackmail material, not trusted digital storage in case of a glitch. This was just one last stroke of petty revenge against Ranma’s most morally ugly tormenter.

In the same pocket as the cash was the old bastard’s bank card, lifted from his wallet. Ranma would have to find an ATM close to home before leaving, leave as short a trail as possible. Hopefully the old man hadn’t changed his PIN in the years since they were on the road.

He was almost there. Just another few hours and, luck and fate permitting… he’d be free.

Just one last stop to make before putting Nerima in his rearview forever.

The bell rang over the door to Ucchan’s as he pushed it open. This close to closing time, the place was empty. Konatsu was sweeping up, the ninja whisking her broom between and around chair legs at nigh-impossible angles and speeds.

Out of the corner of his vision, Ranma spied a pair of tiny flags, crisscrossing over the back of the cash register. Pink, white, and blue stripes, one flag for each of the shop’s employees. Below the flags, an old, faded decal that had been applied slightly crooked, that still read “Trans Rights!” in English. Ranma gave the display a small, wistful smile, knowing he probably wouldn’t see it again.

Catching Ranma’s eye, Konatsu called into the kitchen. “Master Ukyo! Ranma is here!”

Ukyo stepped out of the kitchen, clicking the griddle off as he passed it. His eyes were red and bloodshot, despite the smile on his face.

“Is it that time already?”

Ranma nodded. “Can’t go back now. If Nabiki finds out I cleaned out her cash stash, I will be found dead in the canal.”

Ukyo gave a wet-sounding chuckle, despite the dark humor. “Konatsu and I have been drilling each other over the cover story. Right, Konatsu?”

Konatsu saluted. “Yes sir! If asked, Ranma came in for a bite to eat, then headed for the train station!”

Ukyo nodded, before pointing a finger at Ranma. “And you? Go over the plan again.”

Ranma smiled. “Take the train to Akihabara, empty Pops’ bank account if I can, ditch my phone, walk to Yongen-Jaya, and take the trains out of Tokyo from there.”

Ukyo nodded, his eyes beginning to fill with tears again, threatening to break Ranma’s heart. “G-good. Glad y-you remembered… the…”

Ukyo reached out, wrapping his best friend in a tight hug. Ranma could feel his tears soaking into his shirt.

“Take care of yourself, okay, Sugar?” Ukyo mumbled into Ranma’s shoulder.

Ranma hugged Ukyo back. “I will. You too.”

As the hug broke, Ukyo smiled. “We’ve got something for you, before you go. Konatsu?”

Konatsu appeared silently at Ukyo’s side with a smile, presenting a to-go box with a thick envelope on top. Ukyo took the offered items from Konatsu, handing them to Ranma.  “The box is one last okonomiyaki from me, for the road.”

Ranma peeked inside the envelope and froze. He stared at Ukyo, his eyes wide. “Ukyo- this is- “

“The earnings from the past few days. To get you a little further.”

“I can’t take this much- “

Ukyo shook his head, putting his hand on Ranma’s shoulder. “You can and you will. I’ll be fine, I’ve got plenty saved up. You need it more than I do.”

Ranma felt his resolve crumbling, replaced with an enormous well of gratitude. Setting the box and the envelope on a nearby table, Ranma wrapped Ukyo in another enormous hug.

“Thank you, Ukyo. Thank you. For everything.”

A scant few hours later, Ranma was on a late-night train bound for Yokohama.

He was officially off the grid. No paperwork, no ID, no phone, and a few hundred thousand yen crammed into a cheap wallet.

The old bastard hadn’t changed his PIN after all. It was still the same as it had been- the anniversary of his wedding to Nodoka with a few of the numbers swapped, because he didn’t remember the date properly when he made the PIN.

He had had a lot more in his account than Ranma had expected. Of course he had. All those years scamming, borrowing, and stealing, and the man had been sitting on a small fortune.

A few trips back and forth across Tokyo, a few changed trains and walks from one station to another, and Ranma was certain he had thrown off anyone who could track him, if any.

As he watched the scenery fly by outside the train window, Ranma found himself reflecting on all of this. What had led him here.

It had, quite simply, become too much.

The onslaught of scams past coming back to haunt them, and the constant deluge of fiancées and fiancés, all demanding their cut of him, and curses, and water splashes, and honor this and honor that and honor honor honor honor…

Without really thinking about it, Ranma stood from his seat. He slid into the aisle and began to make his way to the bathroom, the train floor rocking gently under his feet.

He clicked the bathroom door’s lock closed behind him and stared into the mirror.

There he was. The Pinnacle Of Manhood, the Manliest Man To Ever Man, the Man Man Man Man Manly Manly Man Man.

That word. That damned three-letter word. The word his mother was incapable of going more than twenty seconds without saying.

Manhood. Honor. Manly. Honor. Man. Honor.

With an almost animal growl, Ranma yanked the sink faucet forward and splashed cold water onto his face. Even as her body shifted, becoming shorter, hair turning red, Ranma kept splashing and splashing and splashing, as if she could wash away the past nineteen years at that tiny sink.

Somewhere in the world, an eggshell cracked.

Ranma threw the door open, water dripping from her hair, her Chinese work shirt sopping wet. Her shoes squelched with each step. Dripping on the carpet, hands in her pockets, she sauntered leisurely back to her chair, shooting a death glare at a businessman who quickly thought better of the remark on his lips.

Ranma plopped down in her chair, getting comfortable for the ride, a smirk on her lips.

I win.

I’m free.

I’m finally fucking free.

December

6 weeks later

Ukyo shivered as he stepped downstairs. The shared apartment over the restaurant was nice and warm, but he knew the restaurant would be chilly. No sense in running the heater downstairs when it was closed, after all.

It was still dark outside, only a bare few hints of winter morning light beginning to illuminate Nerima. Dark grey clouds hung over the town, not quite willing to commit to snow just yet.

He hadn’t bothered to change out of his house slippers after warming up with his morning cup-o-coffee. They were comfy and warm, and the customers wouldn’t be able to see them behind the counter anyway.

Ukyo, grunting with discomfort, reached into his shirt, adjusting his binder slightly. Satisfied, he leaned against the On button on the Thermostat, hearing the vents hum into life after a few seconds. He clicked the lights on in the restaurant, only to immediately hear a light rapping at the front door.

He turned to glance out the front window, only to deflate with a small groan.

Akane Tendo stood outside, wrapped in a tight coat and scarf over her college clothes. She gave a small wave as she caught Ukyo’s eye.

Ukyo seriously considered ignoring her, before sighing and crossing to the front door. He clicked the lock open, and pushed the door toward Akane, who made no attempt to enter. He quirked an unamused eyebrow at her. “We’re closed.”

Akane pursed her lips. “I know.” A pause. “You don’t open until after my classes start, so I wanted to come by early.”

Ukyo nodded, exhaling softly through his nostrils. “Want to come in?”

“Yes please.”

Ukyo nodded his head toward the restaurant’s interior. Akane stepped inside, shutting the door behind her.

“Could you lock that?”

“Sure.” Akane clicked the lock back into place.

“Want some coffee?”

“That’d be nice, thanks.”

As Ukyo busied himself filling the percolator, Akane glanced around. “Where’s Konatsu?”

“Still in bed. Poor kid can’t stand the cold, so I like to come down and warm things up before we open in the winter. Konatsu does it the other way during the summers.”

“Huh.” Akane took a seat at the bar. “He’s so devoted to you, I figured he’d be down here first, rain or shine.”

Ukyo pursed his lips at the pronoun slipup and let the irritation roll off his shoulders. He didn’t want to get into an argument with the bullheaded Tendo heir this early in the morning.

There was a long pause before Akane spoke again. “I suppose it’d be unrealistic to ask if you’d be willing to tell us about Ranma now?”

“You suppose correctly.” Ukyo stated bluntly, not meeting Akane’s eyes.

Akane took a deep breath, in and out, before continuing. “Look, Ukyo… I know you and Ranma were best friends. I get it, okay? But it’s been over a month. This has gone on too long already. Ranma needs to be here, with his family- “

Ukyo spun around. “Nuh-uh. No. Imma stop you right there. Ranma is a person. He’s not your trophy, and he’s not a piece of meat for you and the other attack dogs to fight over. I still don’t know where he is, but wherever he went, I hope he’s happy there.”

Gaze darkening, Akane stood from her spot at the bar. “Don’t you talk to me like that- “

Ukyo leaned forward. “I’ll talk to you however I damn well please. Ranma was never anything but good to you, and you all treated him like garbage.”

Akane pointed an accusatory finger at him. “Ukyo, you little bitch, I’m warning you- “

Ukyo harshly laughed in her face. “You’re warning me? That first week, Nabiki already came by and tried to bluff-blackmail me. Second week, Shampoo and the Amazons fought their way in, and left after we wiped the floor with them. Week number three, Nodoka Saotome herself came by and told me how dishonorable I was.”

Ukyo leaned smugly over the bar at Akane. “You. Have. Nothing.”

Akane shook her head. “Ukyo, what happened to you? We used to be friends.”

Ukyo laughed again, his ponytail whipping backward as he threw his head back. “Friends? Friends, yeah, okay, friends… Akane, riddle me this. What are my pronouns?”

Akane’s face went pale as she realized her slipup, simply the latest of many. “Ukyo, I’m not- “

“What are Konatsu’s pronouns? I’m waiting.” Ukyo gave a sweet smile.

Akane took a step back, her eyes darting a dozen directions, including a single glance at the crossed trans flags over the register. “I’m not- it’s just- listen, I just want to know where Ranma is. Just tell me, and you’ll never have to see me again.”

Ukyo leaned back against the prep counter with a shrug. “I already told you. I don’t know. He came in for dinner, said he was heading for the train station, and left.”

“You’re a liar, Ukyo.”

“And you, Akane, are a miserable, miserable human being.”

Akane huffed, her lips tightly clenched. She gave one of the tiny pride flags a pathetic little swat before turning and storming towards the door. She grabbed the handle and yanked, only for it to hold tightly against the lock.

Ukyo, sensing what was about to happen, raised a hand and said “Don’t- “

The lock ripped through the wooden doorframe with a crunch, pulled by Akane’s massive strength. She stormed out through the broken door, allowing the cold air to drift in.

Ukyo sighed. “Thank you!” He called after the already gone martial artist. “Thank you so much!”

He reached down behind the counter and grabbed the laminated CLOSED FOR REPAIRS sign he’d had printed. It was a requisite for any business in Nerima, the Reckless Martial Artist capital of the world.

As he taped the sign over the window, another set of eyes appeared on the other side of the glass, these ones far more welcome.

Miki Hasegawa, middle-school regular, waved hello through the glass with a grin, smiling widely behind his enormous glasses. Ukyo smiled and pushed the door open. “Mornin’, kiddo.”

“Morning, Mister Ukyo! What happened?”

Ukyo stuck a thumb at the doorframe. “Eh, not much. A big angry gorilla came by and went bananas.”

Miki’s eyes grew huge. “Wooooooow. Anything I can do to help?”

“Don’t you have school in like an hour?”

Miki shrugged. “Yeah.”

Ukyo’s fond smile grew. He reached down and ruffled the kid’s hair, before tapping the pin attached to his backpack strap. It matched Ukyo’s cash register flags. “Education is important, Sugar. Come by after you get out, I’ll have this door fixed and something warm waiting for you.”

“Okay!” Miki hugged Ukyo around the waist, before hurrying down the street. “See you later! Bye!”

Chuckling, Ukyo shut the door, setting a chair in front of it to hold it closed. He crossed to the phone, and was about to pick it up to call his favorite repairman, before setting it down.

He turned, sliding the junk drawer to his left open. He sifted through the contents, toward the back of the drawer, before producing a small postcard that had been deliberately buried under the bric-a-brac.

On the front, an aerial shot of a large coastal city, an enormous red bridge prominent in the foreground.

WELCOME TO SAN FRANCISCO! The caption screamed.

On the back, a simple note with no return address.

Made it okay. I’ll keep in touch. Miss you. Love you. -R.

Ukyo glanced over his shoulder as if expecting to see Akane glaring over the bar again.

He crumpled the stiff postcard in his hand before shredding it and feeding the pieces into the storm drain in the alley behind the restaurant.

Wherever Ranma was at this point, he hoped he was happy.

Chapter Text

March

Nebraska

Tap-Tap-Tap-Tap.

Ranma groaned, cracking an eye open. The driver’s seat of the ancient pickup had been tilted back, a quilt thrown over it to hide the wear and hemorrhaging stuffing. The other blanket wrapped around Ranma slipped downward as she propped herself up on her elbows.

Outside the truck, illuminated by the soft morning light, a man in a yellow reflector vest smiled apologetically. He looked like a local.

Bleary-eyed, Ranma craned her neck around. A car idled on the side of the road just behind her, the driver's side door open.

Here's hoping this guy ain't a creep. I don't wanna have to beat the tar outta someone before my warmup.

Ranma leaned over, slowly turning the squeaky crank to roll the truck’s window down. “Mornin'.”

The fellow nodded. “Morning, ma’am. Neighborhood watch, sorry to wake ya. Long night?”

Ranma chuckled, wiping an eye with the heel of her hand. “You do not know the half of it.”

“Mhm. Well, I do appreciate you pulling over and not falling asleep at the wheel, but I do have to tell you that you can’t sleep on the side of the road here. It’s a traffic hazard.”

A nod from Ranma. “Yeah, I know, but I didn’t want to risk waiting until I found a parking lot or something.”

The man shrugged. “It is what it is. I’ll let it slide, just don’t do it again.” He pointed down the road. “If you need a pick-me-up, there’s a Waffle Hut down that way about three miles. You’ll see a road sign with some graffiti on it, take that right. You can’t miss it.”

“Gotcha. Thanks.”

As the man headed back toward his vehicle, Ranma ground the window closed with another round of squeak-squeak-squeak-squeaks. She fished the key out of the pocket of her jeans, stuck it in the ignition, and turned it, only to hear a bland hum as a light popped on on the dashboard.

She turned the key again. The same noise.

Ranma sighed irritatedly. She opened the truck’s door.

“Hey, buddy? Can I have a jump?”

Half an hour later, Ranma was tucked in a corner booth of the Waffle Hut, munching on a slice of toast. In the corner, a jukebox was playing something about Jack slipping out the back, Stan making a new plan, and Lee dropping off the key.

Ranma glanced out the window at the parking lot, at the pickup she had bought in California. It was the first thing she had bought for herself in America, before clothes or food or anything. America was huge, and though she had endurance like a demigod… did she really want to walk across America?

So, after converting her yen into dollars, she had bought the truck from a farmer she had met. It was thirteen years old, had over 200,000 miles on it, and judging from the abysmal state of the bodywork, had only spent about ten or so of those miles on actual road.

Ranma took a sip of her coffee (one cream, five sugars), wincing at the crick in her neck. Maybe she’d splurge tonight and get a motel room. She wanted to stretch her money as far as she could, but one could not sleep in a truck alone. She could use a hot shower anyway, despite how much she hated them.

Showers bothered her. Always had. She was never sure why, especially these days. They were the rare occasions that she could be in Guy Mode, as was normal. Even so, hot showers made her itch, and cold showers were just unbearable in the winter.

She had taken her time, making her way across the country. Her plan was to head for the East coast, but she worried about going too fast. It felt like tempting fate.

Ranma wasn’t sure why she was worrying so much. As far as she knew, Pops and the others were back in Japan. She hadn’t seen hide or hair of any of them, so Ukyo had been as good as his word.

Ranma smiled. She could always count on Ukyo. Now, the only worry she had was that Ryoga might wander across her path. She’d worry about the Lost Boy if and when he showed up. One crisis at a time.

Still though. Had it really been four months already?

Four months of motels and hotels, odd jobs in small towns, plugging along in a pickup held together by duct tape and prayers? Four months of huddling in front of the tiny vent in the truck, the somehow-still-functioning heater rattling and occasionally spitting out flecks of insulation foam? Four months of doing her morning kata in the truck bed, or in parking lots, or in particularly roomy motel rooms?

(She had considered stopping in Hawaii on the way to California, but the Kuno Patriarch’s obsession with the place changed her mind. It felt like a bad omen.)

She had already gained eight kilos from the constant, cheap American food, not to mention the fact that this was the first time in over a decade she could eat without Pops stealing food off her plate. Not that she minded having a bit of squish over her muscles, but there was still the principle of the thing, eating so much grease. Spying the breakfast menu out of the corner of her eye, she grinned as a more manic part of her mind chimed in:

Homeless for four months? You win the grand prize! A big plate of waffles to augment your thighs!

Her elbow bumped her plate as she set her coffee down, making it clank loudly against the tabletop. Her fork clattered, tossing crumbs everywhere. She sighed. Good ol’ clumsy Ranma.

That usually happens to Boy Mode Ranma. Boy Mode Ranma is a so much bulkier. More mass to knock into stuff.

She shook her head at the thought. It had been months since she had been in Boy Mode on any real regular basis. Girl Mode was safer. If anyone got past Ukyo, they’d be looking for Boy Mode Ranma. Best to play it safe. And that was 100% the only reason for staying in Girl Mode, so don’t bother asking.

(The first time she’d woken up, stomach in agony, blood on the bedsheets, she’d thought for sure she was dying. That had been a fun conversation with the motel owner.)

(She specifically did not think about how she felt when in the shower.)

The TV over the bar caught her eye. It was another news special about that alien commune thing that had been occupying the airwaves for the past couple years. Little Homeworld, it was called.

Ranma was only vaguely familiar with the whole Rock-Alien thing that had gone down in America over the past few years. She had perused a few online articles about it as it went down- giant spaceships shaped like hands, technicolor monsters walking the streets- but that was the extent of her knowledge on the subject.

Once, a year or two ago, a squat, muscular Gem with impossibly cubic hair had passed through Nerima. A Ruby, she had introduced herself as with flawless Japanese as she sat at Ucchan’s counter, her big buckety boots dangling a full foot above the ground. Konatsu had marveled at the fist-sized Gem in the back of her neck, the Ruby pouring a full container of pepper onto her okonomiyaki.

One thing had led to another, and she and Ranma had wound up engaging in a friendly spar at the High School field, the Ruby’s heat-based skills versus Ranma’s Soul of Ice technique. They had fought to a standstill, the Ruby laughing loudly as she helped Ranma up.

Ranma smiled as she thought back. That had been a nice day, all things considered.

Onscreen, some kid in a pink letterman jacket with a mop of black curls was giving an interview with the reporter with a large, sincere smile on his face. The TV was muted, so Ranma couldn’t hear what was being discussed, but the caption identified him as one Steven Universe.

Ranma smirked.

Universe, huh? That can’t be real. That has to be a stage name or something. Ladies and Gentlemen, presenting the acclaimed magic act, Steven Universe! Raaaa, raaaa….

Her eyes returning to the screen, the interview was winding down. Another caption listed the location as Little Homeworld, Beach City, Delmarva.

Ranma hummed, before idly fishing her new phone out of her pocket. A cursory Bingle search revealed Delmarva to be on the East Coast.

Wait a sec. That might actually work. Delmarva was about as far as you could get from Japan before you started heading back. She browsed through some images of Beach City. It seemed very pretty, a boardwalk, an enormous beach.

Ranma nodded with a smile. Beach City it was, then.

April

Keystone State

2 Weeks Later

Or rather, Beach City it would have been, had the truck not decided to permanently die somewhere around Illinois.

And if Ranma hadn’t been forced to spend the last week or so hitchhiking.

And if it hadn’t started pouring down rain.

Which is how Ranma found herself plodding down the side of the highway, one wet morning. Ranma grumbled to herself as she held a sheaf of carboard over her head, which provided just enough cover to be preferable to getting fully rained on, but not enough to actually keep her dry.

Soaked to the bone, Ranma thanked whatever Gods were listening that she had sprung for the waterproof backpack. At least she had a dry change of clothes waiting for her whenever the rain stopped.

She heard, rather than saw, a car approaching behind her. She stuck out her arm, her thumb extended at the end of it.

Just like the last dozen, the car passed by without slowing.

Karma’s a bitch, ain’t it, Saotome.

Ranma ignored the poisonous voice in the back of her head. No matter how bad this was, it was better than Nerima. In Nerima she would have been getting pummeled, ambushed, and blackmailed in the rain.

Squinting through the rain, Ranma spied a large road sign ahead of her. Her heart sank at the sight.

DELMARVA

110 MILES

She groaned. It was gonna be a looooong few days.

She heard the sound of another car coming behind her, and halfheartedly extended her thumb again, not expecting much.

This time, however, a dark blue sedan eased to a stop on the muddy shoulder ahead of her, and gave a cheerful honk-honk for good measure.

Oh, thank the fucking fires.

Tossing her slice of cardboard to the side, Ranma broke into a jog, heading for the stopped car. As she approached, the passenger side door opened, and a young woman, short and stout, popped out, her blonde ponytail instantly soaked by the downpour.

“Hi there!” the woman shouted over the rain. “Everything okay? Do you need a lift?”

Reaching the car, Ranma panted “Yes, please!”

The woman motioned to the backseat door, and Ranma practically dove in, slamming the door behind her. As she slid her backpack off, the woman got back in, shutting her door. The rain rumbled loudly on the roof of the car.

“You okay?”

Ranma looked at her rescuers. The blonde woman sat in the passenger seat, looking back at her. In the driver’s seat was a tall individual, a ball cap on their head, looking back with equal concern.

Ranma nodded, shivering. “Y-yeah. Thanks for stopping. Sorry I’m gettin’ yer seats wet.”

The driver shook their head. “Don’t worry about it, they’ll dry. Sadie, did we bring that towel?”

The passenger, Sadie apparently, nodded. She pointed to a brown duffel bag on the floor of the backseat. “There’s a big green towel in there. You may have to dig a bit.”

Ranma nodded, already reaching for the bag. “Thank you.”

Ranma dug past an assortment of toiletries and clothes, until her hand grazed rough cloth at the bottom. As the car started moving again, Ranma eased the long, green towel out of the bag like a magician pulling a chain of handkerchiefs out of his sleeve. Toweling her dripping hair off, Ranma finally noticed her seatmate in the back of the car.

A large Doberman, rough gray fur speckling its snout and pointy ears, popped an eye open to regard Ranma with a tired gaze. After a moment, it shifted itself, laying its head on her wet lap.

Ranma grinned. “Hey there, pooch.” She scratched behind the dog’s ears, as the dog made itself comfortable.

Up front, Sadie grinned over her shoulder. “That’s Bella. She’s old, but she’ll be your friend forever as long as you leave her belly alone.”

Ranma slid her hand under Bella’s chin, scratching her jowls. “She’s a good dog.” Bella gave an appreciative yawn as she scratched.

“I’m Sadie, she/her, and this is my partner, Shep.”

Shep flashed a peace sign as they drove. “They/Them.”

Ranma blinked. “Oh! Oh, wow. Good to meet you both. I’m Ranma…”

Aaaaand now for the whole spiel about how I’m a guy, cursed spring, hot and cold water, yadda yadda…

Well…

Actually…

They seem super nice… and openminded…

And I really, really don’t feel like getting into the story…

And I really don’t mind it, I really don’t

“…She/Her today, I guess.” Ranma finished quietly, ignoring the gentle pitter-pat in her stomach.

Somewhere in the world, the eggshell cracked a little more.

“Ranma! Nice to meet you!” Sadie shot a hand toward the backseat. Ranma’s met hers, and the two shook hands. Ranma handed the towel up to her. “Here, you probably need this, too.”

“Oh, thanks.” Sadie took the towel, unwrapped her ponytail, and rapidly fluffed her hair with it. “So where are you heading?”

“Uh… Beach City. I don’t know how close you guys are gonna be, but you can just drop me off at a rest stop or somethin’.”

“No need!” Shep exclaimed. “We’re heading that way too! We’re on the way home from Keystone.”

“Huh. Small world.”

“I promise we aren’t serial killers.” Shep was met with a playful swat from Sadie, who said “Shep, you know that just makes us sound like serial killers, right?”

Ranma chuckled. “It’s okay, I’m on the way back from the Serial Killer Convention myself.”

Shep leaned forward, wrinkling their nose as they glanced out through the rain. “Hope this clears up before everything starts up in Beach City.”

“So, you guys live in Beach City?”

Sadie nodded. “Sure do! Shep and I are musicians. We played a few gigs in Keystone, now we’re heading back home.”

Sadie turned to look at Ranma. “So, what about you? Why are you heading to Beach City?”

Ranma sighed, a deep, deep sigh. “I barely even know anymore. Somewhere new, I guess.”

There was a silence. Sadie and Shep shared a look. Shep glanced at Ranma in the rearview mirror. “Do you want to talk about it?” they asked, in a calm, experienced voice.

“No.” A pause. “Maybe. Yes? I don’t know. Is that weird? I only just met you guys, you don’t need to- “

Sadie shook her head. “It’s okay. I like listening to people. Only if you want to, though.”

Ranma turned her head, staring out the window.

There was a very long pause, long enough that Sadie began to wonder if she had offended the stranger. She was about to apologize, when the redhead in the backseat spoke up.

“You ever been to Japan? That’s where I’m from.”

Sadie blinked. “Wow. You came all the way from Japan?”

Ranma nodded, not taking her eyes from the window. “Sure did. Still not sure if it was a good idea or not.”

In Ranma’s lap, Bella gave an almost sympathetic “Wuff.”

Ranma kept petting Bella’s neck as she spoke. “You know those stories you hear, where the deadbeat dad says he’s going to the corner store for some cigarettes, and just never comes back? That’s what I did. I left everyone behind. Not even a goodbye. Pretty sure I hurt a lot of them on the way, too.”

“Hm.” Sadie hummed noncommittally. This was clearly something that was weighing on their passenger. “Why’d you leave?”

Ranma shook her head. “Just couldn’t take it anymore. Bad people, selfish people. People who wanted… everything from me, I guess. It felt… cramped, I guess?”

“Are you thinking about going back?”

Ranma shook her head rapidly. “No. Never. Never.”

Shep glanced backwards. “Wow. Sounds to me like you did right by you, getting out.”

Ranma hummed. “Yeah, but… isn’t that just me being selfish? All these people, riding their happiness or satisfaction or fill-in-the-blank on me. Basic numbers, one sad person is better than twelve sad people.”

She reached up, gently toying with her braid. “I heard a song in a restaurant a while back. I looked it up, it was called Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover.”

Shep nodded. “Paul Simon, yeah. I’ve heard it.”

“It felt like… I dunno, an omen? Song title like that, what are the odds? Like soon, it’s all gonna come crashing down on me.”

Like I deserve, she thought to herself. It all adds up. I’m just another deadbeat. Jack slipped out the back. Stan made a new plan. Lee dropped off the key. And I said “Get Me The Hell Outta Here.”

Sadie turned to look at Ranma, who was still staring out the window. The lights outside the car shone through the droplets trickling down the window, casting odd shadows on Ranma’s face.

“Ranma… look, I’m not gonna try and tell you your business, but… if you’re going to Beach City, it’s a really good place. Real friendly. Might be a good place to, I dunno… start over?”

Ranma gave a wordless hum, and Sadie instinctually knew the conversation was over. Leaning against the headrest, Ranma allowed her eyes to close. “D’you mind if I sleep a bit?”

Shep nodded. “Go for it. We’ve still got like an hour or two. I’ll wake you when we get there.”

“Thanks.” Only just starting to realize just how exhausted she was, Ranma felt the kind embrace of sleep creep over her. Within seconds, she was out, fogging her window as she breathed softly.

A puddle splashed under his foot as Ranma stumbled down the streets of Nerima.

Why was he back home? Why was he all the way back in Japan?

Fog was all around him, obscuring Ranma’s vision beyond more than a few feet. He couldn’t move faster than a limping stagger. His legs were made of lead.

A shape darted past him, vanishing back into the fog. A gymnast’s ribbon whipped at his cheek, a familiar booming “OH-HO-HO-HO” filling his ears…

A bear growled, overlaying a familiarly gruff voice. “Boy! Knock off this weak display! You’re embarrassing us both!”

From another direction, a shrill cry of “Oh, Airen…” followed by a very sinister Cat’s yowl…

A scythe on a long chain slashed at his fleeing back. The sound of quacking ducks warbled in the air.

The sound of a katana being unsheathed. “You’ve broken the terms of your contract, son. You must restore your family’s honor.”

A pig squealed somewhere as a heavy, weighted umbrella fell from the sky like a dart, cratering into the ground, missing Ranma by barely a few feet.

An incomprehensible voice, babbling about honor and pigtailed girls echoed from behind, along with the steady clack of a kendo staff against a wall.

“Get back here, Son-in-Law, and fulfill your obligations!” The familiar voice of an old crone.

The grotesque cackling of an ancient old pervert, shamelessly grabbing hands thrusting at him through the darkness.

And from up ahead, louder than them all, the sound of a heavy mallet, slamming into surface after surface, punctuating a rage filled voice:

“Idiot! Pervert! Idiot! Pervert! Idiot! Pervert! IDIOT! PERVERT!”

Ranma stumbled and fell forward, flat on his face. He curled up on himself, hearing the sounds of a dozen pairs of footsteps around him, waiting for the inevitable strikes and kicks.

“You think you can just run away from us? You think you can just abandon us? You have a job to do, you sad, ugly little thing.”

Another familiar voice cut through the fog, accompanied, oddly enough, by the sensation of Ranma’s knee being squeezed.

“Ranma… Ranma, wake up.”

Ranma inhaled sharply as she opened her eyes. In the front seat, Sadie raised an apologetic hand from Ranma’s leg. “Sorry, didn’t mean to spook ya.”

Ranma rubbed her eyes blearily. “ s’okay.” Behind Sadie, the car’s dash clock displayed that it was almost noon. Ranma glanced down at the seat next to her. Bella looked at her, creaking a concerned whine. Ranma smiled, and ruffled the dog’s ear. “Hey, girl.”

Sadie smiled. “We’re gonna be coming up on Beach City here in just a minute.” She pointed out the passenger window. Ranma turned her head to see the ocean, stretching to infinity, lit by brilliant sunlight, the rain having apparently passed while Ranma slept. Sparkles leapt off the water as the car passed it.

Ranma whistled appreciatively. “Gosh. It’s so pretty. I’ve always loved the ocean.”

Sadie nodded. “I’ve lived in Beach City all my life, and it never gets old.” She rolled down her window, allowing a salty-smelling breeze to waft in through the window.

Shep pointed a single finger ahead. “And coming up over the hill here…”

Ranma turned her attention to the front window, just time to see the small town appear, sprawled between two giant hills, the ocean on each side. A sign passing on the right stated “Welcome to Beach City!”

Ranma breathed a soft “Wow…”

As the car drove into town proper, passing houses and storefronts, Ranma noticed something odd.

The streetlamps had rainbow streamers hanging from them.

Ranma pointed one out. “What’s with the rainbow doodads?”

Sadie beamed. “Beach City Pride Week starts today! We were hoping we’d get home in time for opening day!”

Ranma fell silent, staring at the streamers as they passed.

Pride Week.

Huh.

She had heard of Pride Celebrations, of course. She’d seen pictures of Tokyo Pride. She’d never been, though.

Ranma had never understood the people who got so up in arms against the community. Pops had hated the idea. So had Mom. Akane… Ranma was pretty certain she was so far back in the closet she could see Narnia, but she had gotten her usual flavor of Loud And Angry when the subject came up, as she so often did, so Ranma had dropped the subject.

Ukyo and Konatsu, though, they attended Tokyo Pride every year, and always had a blast. They always took plenty of pictures, and showed them to Ranma the day after. They always had enormous smiles in the pictures.

Pride seemed fun. Ranma was happy for the people it existed for. But she had never really seen the purpose of herself going.

She was a Guy Who Liked Girls, after all.

No point in her going, no place.

Shep glanced at their partner. “Do we want to go straight to the Boardwalk, or drop our stuff off first?”

Sadie, Ranma was amused to see, was almost bouncing in her seat in excitement. “I kinda want to hit the Boardwalk first. Is that okay?”

Shep nodded, smiling brightly. “Absolutely!” They turned to Ranma. “Is there anywhere in particular we need to drop you off, Ranma?”

Ranma shrugged. “I’ve literally never been here before. I’m good basically anywhere.”

“Would you like to come to the Pride Festival with us?”

Ranma could almost feel the immediate No materialize in her throat, rise into her mouth, and shrivel and die on her lips.

No way. I’m a guy, and I like girls. That’s all there is. No Ifs Ands or Buts.

And yet…

“If you’re going to Beach City, it’s a really good place. Real friendly. Might be a good place to, I dunno… start over?”

She had already run away from home, travelled literally halfway across the world, and hitchhiked with a pair of total strangers that she had already spilled her guts to.

Why stop being brave now?

“S… sure.” She half-mumbled.”

“Are you sure? Only if you want to.”

“No, I… I do. I do want to.” Ranma straightened up, and gave Sadie a small smile. “I do.”

This was a horrible idea.

Ranma felt herself freeze as she stepped out of the backseat.

Ahead, there was enormous crowd of people crowding the Boardwalk. Music was playing somewhere. There were more rainbows and Pride flags than Ranma could count. To top it all off, intermingling with the crowd was a plethora of women with technicolor skin, horns, claws, and all manner of large Gemstones embedded in their bodies.

It was Nodoka Saotome’s greatest fear.

Ranma felt herself clenching onto the car door, her strength warping the steel under her fingers.

This was a bad idea. This was a bad idea. This is exactly the sort of thing Karma likes to dangle in front of me just before everything goes wrong. I don’t belong here. I don’t belong here, and they’re gonna know it. Someone’s gonna spill hot water or something, and that’ll be the end of it. Why couldn’t I actually be trans or something?

“Ranma? Are you okay?”

Ranma was yanked from her spiral by Sadie’s voice, who was looking at her with concern. Ranma suddenly became aware of how this looked.

“Sadie, I… I’m sorry, I know what this looks like, but I promise you, I’m not a jerk. I-I-“

Sadie placed a consoling hand on Ranma’s shoulder. “Hey, it’s okay. I know that look, and that’s not the Homophobe Jackass look.” She gave Ranma a smile. “Is this your first Pride?”

Ranma’s silence spoke volumes. Sadie took in the sight of this young woman, in a damp jacket two sizes too large, with tired eyes and a desperation to talk to anyone willing to listen, and wondered, not for the first time that day, what had happened to her.

“Sadie! Hey, Sadie!!”

Ranma and Sadie both turned their heads at the new voice. Out of the crowd, a young man in his late teens was jogging, waving a hand, a huge smile on his face. A familiar pink letterman jacket was tied around his waist. The black T-Shirt he wore in the TV Interview had been swapped for a blue tank top with what Ranma recognized as the Pan colors across the front. On his cheeks, two more Pride flags had been sloppily painted, Ace on the left, Nonbinary on the Right. His sandals click-clacked on the wood of the Boardwalk.

Sadie’s face brightened immensely. “STEVEN!” She launched herself forward, meeting the boy halfway in a bone-crushing hug. From behind her, Ranma heard Shep chuckle fondly as they busied themselves attaching Bella’s leash.

Sadie pulled back from the hug. “Did we miss the Parade?”

Steven nodded, shrugging apologetically. “Yeah, that just wrapped up a while ago. You’re right on time for everything else, though!”

“Nuts! I was hoping I’d get to see Little Homeworld’s float.”

Steven jerked his head to the right. “It’s still parked near the carwash. I’ll show you later.”

“Nice. Is Connie around?”

“Bathroom. She’ll be back. So how was Keystone? And who’s your friend?”

Yike.

Sadie turned, motioning to their passenger. “This is Ranma! We picked her up on the way back. She’s new to Beach City!”

Why does my belly flip-flop whenever she says that word?

Steven, his infectious smile still on his face, offered a hand to Ranma. “Good to meet you! Welcome to Beach City, I’m Steven!”

Ranma shook the offered hand. “Universe, right? I saw you in that News special a couple weeks back. Hard name to forget!”

Steven chuckled. “Yeah, the whole Gemmigration thing has gotten a lot of attention, past three years. Where are you from?”

Ranma shrugged. “Eh, Japan.” Over Ranma’s shoulder, out of her view, Shep caught Steven’s eye. They rapidly waggled their hand near their throat, shaking their head in an Uh-Uh, Uh-Uh motion.

Time passed.

Ranma eased herself down the Boardwalk, a forgotten carton of fries in her hand. She had removed her jacket, having draped it over her arm.

This was… nice? So far, anyway?

Everyone seemed to be having fun, at least.

Despite the inviting atmosphere, Ranma couldn’t bring herself to relax. It felt like any moment, hot water would fall from the sky and drench Ranma, She would change to He, and the entire crowd would freeze, turn to look at her, and shout “There It is! Get It, get It!”

Steering away from the festivities, Ranma plodded toward the edge of the Boardwalk. A hop over the railing landed her on the beach.

The ocean stretched to infinity before her, the tide gently washing in and out. The sand crunched under her shoes. A few feet away, a lone seagull landed, letting out a scratchy scree at the martial artist.

Ranma glanced down at her carton of now-cold, ketchup-drenched fries. She held it toward the seagull. “You want these, buddy?”

Ranma had barely gotten the words out before the seagull sprang into flight, zooming close to Ranma’s face to peck at the fries. Its wings battered Ranma in the face, as she swatted back at it. Dropping the fries, she gave the bird a less-than-gentle openhanded slap. The seagull flew away, screeching indignantly.

With a heavy sigh, she leaned back against one of the Boardwalk’s support pillars, sinking down a few inches.

First Mousse the duck, now I’m being attacked by seagulls. There’s that good ol’ Saotome luck again.

Above and to her right, Steven glanced down the stairs from the Boardwalk to the Beach, taking in the tired-looking woman Sadie had brought to town. He scratched an itch on his cheek, paint from the pride flag scraping under his fingernail. “So you found her on the side of the road?”

Sadie nodded. “Yep. In the pouring rain. Nothing but a backpack and the clothes she was wearing.”

“Yikes. Do you think she’s in trouble?”

“Not anymore, but I think she has been? I can tell she’s been through a lot. She wants to talk about it, but I think she’s afraid to? Not to play armchair psychologist, here.”

From behind Steven: “There you guys are!”

Steven turned, beholding his best friend and QPP. Connie came at a light jog through the crowd. Her cheeks were painted with Pride flags that matched Steven’s, Ace and Nonbinary. Both wrists were bedecked with Bi Flag-colored bracelets, with a matching decal plastered onto the water bottle hooked to her belt. Her sword, courtesy of resident blacksmith Bismuth, was strapped to her back.

Sadie waved two fingers. “Hi, Connie!”

“Hi, Sadie! Sorry it took so long to find you guys, got caught up in the crowd.”

Sadie’s eyes slid to the sword. “Are you even allowed to have that here?”

Steven grinned. “No cops at Pride, only Connie Maheswaran and her She-Ra sword.”

Sadie glanced down at Ranma, before looking to Steven. “Do we want to go talk to her?”

Suddenly, from below: “I can hear you guys, y’know.” The three froze. Ranma’s voice was lightly scolding, despite the smile being audible in her words.

After a tense moment, Ranma giggled chirpily. “It’s cool, c’mon down. ‘s too quiet down here anyway.”

Steven and Sadie tromped down the stairs to the beach, a slightly lost Connie bringing up the rear. Sadie looked mortified, even as Ranma grinned impishly. “I’m so sorry, Ranma.”

Ranma chuckled, waving a hand. “It’s cool, it’s cool. I just have really, really good hearin’.”

Her eyes caught sight of Connie’s sword strapped to her back. She gasped, darting forward with surprising speed. “Wow! That is such a gorgeous sword!”

Connie blinked rapidly, before grinning and unsheathing it. The pink blade glittered as it caught the sun. She laid the flat of the blade on her other wrist, allowing Ranma a good look at the whole thing.

Ranma breathed in awe as she traced a single finger over the bright gold cross guard. “The craftsmanship is amazing.” She looked up at Connie. “I bet this thing’s seen some action.”

Connie nodded proudly, sheathing the sword. “Sure has!” She extended a hand. “Connie Maheswaran, Defender of Earth.”

Ranma grinned, shaking her hand firmly. “Ranma Saotome, Martial Artist in Exile.”

Steven chuckled as Sadie rolled her eyes good-naturedly. “Looks like you two are gonna be fast friends.

Connie, who had been squinting at something in the sky, pointed a finger upward, into the distance. “What is that?”

Sadie peered up at the sky. “Is that… is that a seagull carrying a kettle?”

Ranma’s eyes grew wide.

KETTLE.

ANIMAL ANGRY AT ME.

RED ALERT. ABORT. ABORT.

Before Ranma could even think to run, the seagull did a sudden kamikaze dive, the kettle flying from its claws. Time seemed to slow down as Ranma watched the lid fly from the kettle, the steaming water suspended in the air as it spilled from the incoming projectile.

Whelp. Fun while it lasted.

The heavy metal kettle impacted Ranma face first with a resounding CLONG, followed by the ever so gentle caress of over a gallon of hot water slapping across every inch of Ranma’s body.

Ranma’s quickly bulking form impacted the sand far heavier than he would have just a moment before. There he lay, the heavy kettle balanced on his face cartoonishly, as stars seemed to manifest out of thin air to dance around it. In the distance, the rapidly fading sound of the seagull cackling.

“Ranma! Are you okay?!” Connie’s worried voice penetrated through the dazed fog surrounding Ranma’s brain. He mumbled “Cookies, for me? Why sure, Kuno, back up the truck…”

Sadie paused. “What happened to her hair? It changed colors. What the heck was in that kettle?”

That statement cut through Ranma’s dazed mind like a sharp knife.

My hair changed colors.

I’m in Guy Mode.

An enormous gasp of air involuntarily forced its way into Ranma’s lungs. He sat up, gasping for breath. He scrambled backward, his back impacting the Boardwalk’s support beam. He couldn’t breathe.

Eyes darting wildly, Ranma barely registered the concerned faces of everyone in front of him.

Steven said something that vaguely sounded like “what’s wrong,” but Ranma’s mouth wouldn’t work. His tongue was made of sandpaper. His chest hurt, his heart was pounding.

The sun was too bright, too hot.

What’s happening what’s happening to me

Someone laughed in the crowd above them. Was it Kodachi? Shampoo? How had they found him? How many of them were here??

I can’t breathe I can’t breathe why why why is this happening

Ranma’s fingers dug blindly in the sand under him. His eyes were burning. Sadie’s hand was on his shoulder. A stream of nonsense sounds came from her mouth.

They see me they see me they see me

The ocean was so, so loud-

THE OCEAN

Ranma broke into a sprint, sending Sadie sprawling onto her butt.

water water water water water water water

He fell forward, certain that he would simply fall through the Earth, into the cold void of space and fall forever and ever and ever and ever and-

The shock of cold water caused her (oh thank god thank god) to recoil. She frantically thrashed in the waist-high surf, coating every inch of herself in the sweet, sweet waters of the Atlantic.

She felt two strong hands loop under her arms, felt herself get yanked backward suddenly.

“Ranma, hang on! I’ve got you!”

Blinking the stinging saltwater from her eyes, Ranma could barely make out a pink-colored blur hauling her from the waves. Two more blurs came into focus, helping to pull.

“I’m-“ Ranma coughed, hacking more saltwater out of her mouth. “I’m okay! Guys, stop, I’m okay!!”

She yanked her arms back toward herself, collapsing onto her side, sand immediately sticking to her wet clothes and face. She coughed, hacking heavily. Her hand shot out to the side. “Hekki, Hekki…no…no doctor...don’t get no one…” she slurred, her mouth grainy with sand.

Wow, that kid is strong, a slightly-less-numb part of her brain offered out of nowhere.

Steven collapsed on his butt next to her, panting almost as hard. “Ranma, can I put my hand on you? You can say no.”

Ranma nodded. “Y-yeah, yeah, that’s fine.”

She felt a large hand place itself on her shoulder, and sit itself there firmly.

Ranma pushed herself up on her elbows. “Can I have a… fuck, a, uh…” she irritatedly mimed wiping at her face. “Tenegui?”

“Towel?” Sadie responded, doubled over, her hands on her knees.

She nodded. “Yeah, that.”

From Steven: “Oh, hang on…” His hand removed itself from her shoulder. There were a few brief grunts, then his T-Shirt, colored like the Pan flag, lowered itself into view. “The bottom’s a little wet, but the shoulders should be fine.”

She nodded, taking it from him. “Thanks.” She rubbed at her burning eyes with the shirt. “Sorry ‘bout this.”

“It’s fine, I promise.”

Connie’s hand appeared at her right, her half-full water bottle held out. “Here, drink this. Get that taste out of your mouth.”

Ranma nodded, taking the bottle. She tossed her head back, and downed the water in just a few gulps. “Ah… I’m alive again. Thank you, Connie.”

Connie and Sadie sat down, joining the sandy-and-wet-clothes club. “Are you okay, Ranma?” Sadie asked.

Ranma nodded. “I… I think so… what just happened?”

“That was a panic attack.” Steven supplied soberly. “I used to have them pretty regularly.

“Is that what that feels like? Huh.” Ranma blinked. “Guess we’re laughing and learning today. You’re really strong, by the way. Like, it usually takes a lot to move me.”

Steven waved a dismissive hand. “Thanks, it’s a Gem thing.”

Ranma’s eyes flickered briefly down Steven’s shirtless torso to the fist-sized Gem embedded where Steven’s belly button would be.

From behind her, Connie raised a hand. “Ranma? Is it okay if I ask what happened back there?”

Ranma sighed heavily. “The hair thing?”

“Yeah. You also got taller? Only if you’re okay with talking about it, though.”

Ranma nodded. “Yeah, yeah. It’s a thing. Okay. What do you guys know about curses?”

Steven shrugged. “I’m pretty much only really experienced with Gem stuff. There’s not that much space for curses there.”

Ranma wrestled her soaked jacket off her shoulders. The midafternoon sun was warm on her arms. “Well, curses are real. Long story short, I’m actually a guy. I fell in a cursed hot spring, and now I turn into a girl when I get splashed with cold water. Warm water turns me back.”

There was a long pause.

Ranma grimaced internally.

Yep. Shoulda known. Here it comes.

“Wow! That’s actually pretty neat!” Steven’s cheerful voice came.

What.

“What?” Ranma asked.

“I mean, I can tell it’s a bother to you, but it seems really interesting in general.”

“So it’s like a full-on, biological change?” Sadie asked as she made herself comfortable.

“Y-yeah. Vagina, boobs, uterus, the whole bit. And then hot water puts me back to normal. And gives me panic attacks now, I guess.” Ranma tossed her arms in the air exasperatedly.

From Connie this time: “Also, just to double-check, which pronouns do you prefer-”

“I’m a guy.” Ranma answered, a little too quickly.

Connie paused. “That’s not what I asked.”

“I said I’m a guy. I’ve answered the question.” Ranma turned her gaze away from her, apparently finding something interesting in the sand to look at.

Connie, Sadie, and Steven shared a few collective glances, all mentally replaying the events of the past few minutes. An unspoken acknowledgement was shared between them.

Eventually, Steven spoke up. “Ranma… you said you’re gonna be staying here in Beach City?”

Ranma nodded silently, still refusing to meet his eyes.

“I’m not gonna ask what you came here from, or what you’re getting away from, but… we’re here. If you want to talk about anything.”

Connie nodded. “Helping people is kind of his thing.”

Ranma nodded silently. “That’s… thanks.”

She sighed, picking up her soaked, sand-caked jacket from where she’d shrugged it off. “On a separate note, I think I’ve officially ruined this jacket.”

Steven chuckled. “Nah, that’ll wash right out.”

Ranma looked back at the people surrounding her. “I gotta say, you guys are taking this… weirdly well? People usually just yell or call me a pervert.”

Steven looked genuinely confused. “What? Why?”

Ranma shrugged. “Well, you know.”

There was a long silence. Eventually, Steven spoke up again. “No... no, I don’t know. You seem like a really stand-up guy. Why would someone call you a pervert?”

“I…” Ranma fell silent. For the first time, she really thought about the question.

Why do people call me that?

And why am I so used to it?

The Next Morning

Bzzzt. Bzzzt. Bzzzt. Bzzzt.

Ranma groaned as she raised her head from the pillow. She flailed at the bedside clock radio, slapping the first button her fingers touched on the top of it.

It was 6:00 am. Ranma had always been an avid follower of Early-To-Bed, Early-To Rise (thanks to a certain bastard panda drilling it into her from a young age on the road), but her sleep had been a particularly deep one after everything that happened yesterday.

She had checked into a room a Beach City Suites, a surprisingly clean motel, and had barely had time to strip out of her twice-dampened clothes and slip into her PJ boxers before flopping onto the room’s surprisingly comfy bed and passing out. Hadn’t even gotten under the covers.

She clicked on the bedside lamp, blinking the Sleep Gick from her eyes. She crossed to the TV table, her bare feet padding softly against the carpeted floor. On the tabletop were the contents of her wallet, her collection of American bills laid out to dry overnight. Ranma sifted through her collection of stiff bills, swearing softly at the amount.

Maybe another two week’s worth here, room and food considered. Gonna have to get a job here soon.

Her multi-month trek across the country had eaten through her finances, despite the occasional odd job. There wasn’t a lot of money to be made in the Running Away From Home business.

She felt at her bangs, rubbing her fingers. Her hair was greasy and clumped, having not showered since her last motel room a few days prior, on top of being rained on and then dunking herself in the sea.

Still gotta exercise this morning. I’ll shower when I get back. No sense getting clean, then ruining it.

She dug into her backpack, pulling a pair of shorts and a fresh shirt from it. She had tossed her soaked clothes into the room’s bathtub, and left her shoes outside to dry overnight.

Gonna need to get new clothes soon, too. Better find a Goodwill or somethin’.

She stepped outside into the morning air, the pavement cool under her feet.

I have to admit, I like what I’ve seen of this town. Sadie and Shep were super nice, so were Steven and Connie. Maybe this won’t be so bad aaaaaaaaaaand where are my shoes?

Her shoes had vanished from the spot outside the door where she had left them. She glanced around, before spying her shoes, and groaning.

Her shoes, the laces tied together, had been swiped in the night and tossed over the power line stretched over the parking lot.

Yep. There’s that good ol’ Saotome luck.

A few minutes and a stretch later, Ranma jogged lightly down the beach, her bare feet splashing gently in the shallow surf, her pants rolled up to her ankles. On the wet sand at the top of the tide, grip was better than in the actual dunes.

On her left, up the beach, there was the occasional sound of the town waking up. A car door slam here, a row of street lights turning off there.

The Boardwalk came into view, along with the spot where she’d had her… incident yesterday.

Why? Why would that give me a panic attack? Guy Mode is the default, Girl Mode is the curse. I know that. Everyone knows that. Guy Mode is better. Guy Mode is normal. I’ve only been in Girl Mode so long just in case I get recognized.

Why couldn’t I have just been trans, like Ukyo? This whole stupid curse would be so much easier if I were.

She came to a stop at the spot from yesterday. There was no sign of her scuffle in the waves the previous day, the overnight tide having washed what little evidence there had been away.

Ranma tromped a few feet up the beach, into the dry dunes. With her foot, she traced a circle around herself, preparing for her morning kata.

“Okay, enough of this. New Town doesn’t mean New Me. No slacking.”

As she drew herself into the beginning position, something caught the corner of her eyes.

In the ocean, slowly appearing out of the waves, a mop of dark blue hair atop a light-blue skinned head was rising from the water. Ranma turned to look at the incoming person.

The woman sauntered leisurely from the depths, water dripping off her quickly-drying form. A sleeveless crop top wrapped around her torso, leaving her midriff bare. She wore dark blue monk pants, very similar to Ranma’s style.

And her arms?

Oh sweet God, her arms.

Ranma felt her breath leave her. The Gem’s biceps were just as built as Ranma’s. Strong and toned, with muscles rippling across her shoulders.

Ranma was no stranger to well-built women. It came with the territory of Nerima. Shampoo and Akane were both very strong, but Akane hid hers beneath sweaters and long sleeves, and Shampoo was, frankly, too morally and emotionally repulsive to be likeable. Even Ranma, in her Girl Form, wore clothes sized to her Boy Form, which tended to make her look even smaller than she actually was.

But this Gem? She wore her strength proudly. She walked with a confidence, a swagger that said “I rock.”

Transfixed, Ranma was dimly aware of a small trail of drool dripping from the corner of her mouth as the Gem strode out of the water. Her gold-colored sandals were as steady on the sand as a pair of combat boots.

The blue Gem smirked as she caught sight of the redhaired cutie on the beach. “Eyes linger any longer, I’ll have to charge rent.”

Ranma’s eyes widened as she came back to herself, realizing she’d been ogling a complete stranger. “OH! Oh my gosh! I-I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t have- oh crap, I’m so sorry-“

The blue Gem giggled, punctuated by a small snort. “It’s okay! Hey, chill, it’s okay.” She extended a hand in friendship. “Lapis Lazuli.”

Ranma’s hand met hers and shook it. “Ranma Saotome. I, uh, I really like your… your muscles.” She trailed off, her cheeks growing as red as her hair.

“Thanks, I grew them myself.” Lapis snarked. “Yours aren’t half bad either.”

Sputtering softly, Ranma quickly changed topics. “So, uh, you’re a Gem, right?”

“Nah, I was born with a rare skin disease. My name is just a coincidence. And this,” Lapis pointed to the tear-shaped Gemstone in the middle of her back, “is just a wart that got out of hand. My life is a tragic story.”

Ranma sniffed a laugh. “Har har.”

Lapis smirked again. “So, are you new here in town? I haven’t seen you around.”

“Uh, yeah, I just got into town yesterday. I’d never been to a Pride festival before.”

“Oh yeah, that’s always fun. Don’t know if you saw me there, I was with Peridot and Bismuth most of the day. I’ll introduce you sometime if you like.”

Ranma nodded, filing the names away for later. “Do you know Steven?”

Lapis’s face brightened. “Do I! He and I have been buds for years! I would not be here if it weren’t for Steven, and I do mean that. He’s the best.”

Ranma smiled with a nod. “He’s super nice.”

Lapis’s eyes glanced past Ranma, down the Beach. At the far end of the street, just before the town gave way to the property around the Temple, the Big Donut sat. Lapis could see a purple-shirted smudge enter through the front door- Bill Dewey, opening up for the day.

An idea popped into her head as she looked back to Ranma. “Hey, want to get donuts?”

Ranma opened her mouth to decline, that she had to do her morning kata…

…when something stopped her.

No. Do not. That sounds date-adjacent, and that’s never a good idea. You’re on thin ice just having friends in this town. It’d be safer to say no.

“Sure!” Ranma responded, a smile across her face. “I don’t have my shoes, though.”

Lapis scoffed good-naturedly. “If Dewey pitches a fit about that, this town’s in bigger trouble than I thought. C’mon.” Sticking her hands in her pockets, Lapis Lazuli began her leisurely walk down the beach.

After barely a moment of hesitation, Ranma followed after her.

Maybe a New Me wouldn’t be so bad after all.

Chapter Text

May

Outside the Big Donut

3:15 pm

“Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait, hang on.” Amethyst raised both hands, trying to wrap her brain around what she had just heard. “His name was what?”

Ranma grinned. “Pantyhose Taro. That was his birth name, poor guy.”

“And he would turn into what?”

“A flying, swimming minotaur.” Ranma confirmed.

“And that was because the cursed spring he fell into had what drown in it?” Amethyst’s grin was wobbling, threatening to burst into a fresh spate of laughter.

Ranma’s grin widened. She loved telling this part. “A yeti, riding a bull, carrying a crane and an eel.”

Amethyst collapsed back in her chair, her warm, scratchy laughter filling the air outside the Big Donut.

Connie gave an impressed whistle. “Wow. These curses get pretty specific, huh?”

Ranma shrugged. “Honestly, that was the most off-the-wall one. Most of the ones I encountered were stuff like ducks, pigs, c-c-c… felines. My Pops would turn into a panda.”

“How does a duck drown? For that matter, how does an eel drown??”

Ranma clasped her hands together, looking at Connie with wide eyes. “I don’t know, Connie. I. Don’t. Know.”

Steven swallowed the mouthful of Boston Crème-filled he had been chewing on. “So all those Springs, and there wasn’t a single Spring of Drowned Man?”

Ranma gave a bitter sigh. “Oh, there was. And Pops and I tried to use it. Over, and over, and over. And it would always have dried up, or the container would spill, or… ugh, fill-in-the-blank.” She grabbed her iced coffee and sucked the last of it through the straw, producing the expected rattling noise.

Amethyst hummed thoughtfully. “The animal ones would be interesting. I spent two years as a panda once. That was fun. Got all the bamboo I could eat.”

Ranma cocked an eyebrow. “What do you mean, spent two years as a panda?”

As Steven gave an amused, overdramatic sigh, Amethyst grinned and hopped to her feet. With a bright glow, her body shapeshifted into that of a purple panda bear, tall and furry. Pandathyst plopped down on her butt and gave a grin.

Connie made an endeared squeaky noise at the adorable sight, as Ranma’s eyes grew to the size of dinner plates. “That is SO COOL!” Ranma hopped from her seat, walking around Amethyst. “You can shapeshift whenever you want?!”

“Sure can, yo!” Amethyst lit up again, shifting into the wrestler Beach City knew as the Purple Puma. “All Gems can, I’m just really good at it.” She sat back down in her chair, now dwarfing it. Ranma permitted herself a quick touch of the Puma’s floofy chest hair, before withdrawing her hand again.

From several feet away, there was a delighted screech as a small green Gem (wearing- Ranma did a double take- Kamina shades?) came running at a full sprint, waving her arms wildly. “AMETHYST! CATCH ME CATCH ME!”

Grinning, Pumathyst leapt to her feet, catching the green Gem effortlessly and lifting her. The gem struck a dramatic pose, held high over the scene. “BEACH CITY! BEHOLD, THE PERFECT AND PRESTIGIOUS PERIDOT AND THE PURPLE PUMA! PRAISE ME!”

Ranma gave an only mildly confused round of applause, as Lapis eased up next to the table. She shook her head, an amused grin on her face. “Every day with you two.”

Ranma’s face lit up. “Hi, Lapis! Great to see ya again!”

Steven smiled widely as Lapis leaned on his chair. She extended a fist toward him. “Sup, nerd.” Steven bumped his fist against hers.

Turning to Ranma, Lapis held up a flat hand. “Don’t leave me hangin’.” Ranma high-fived her new friend, grinning enormously. She turned back to the overdramatic duo, who were doing more poses, entertaining Steven and Connie. “So this is Peridot? Gotta say, she looks exactly like I imagined her.”

Peridot grinned. “HA! No doubt Lapis has told you all about my exploits in the defeat of Homeworld, and my leadership of the Crystal Gems?”

Ranma crossed her arms, smirking. “She told me you were an adorable lil’ slice of key lime pie.”

Peridot somehow seemed to inflate even further. “Well, who am I to deny my own cuteness?”

Amethyst deflated back into her usual form, dropping Peridot into a bridal carry. “You tell ‘em, Peri.” She gave Peridot a quick smooch on the cheek, causing Peridot to blush a neon green and claw at her own enormous hair. “Amethyst, I have a reputation to maintain…”

Ranma chuckled, turning to Lapis. “How are your… what did you call them… Mumps coming along?”

Lapis cackled loudly. “D’you… do you mean “Morps?”

Ranma nodded eagerly, sitting back down. “Yeah, those! You were telling me about your statue last time, how’s that going?”

Lapis sat in the chair next to her. “Eh, the head broke off, so I’m repurposing it into an abstract sculpture.”

“How’d the head break off?”

“I got mad at it and stabbed it in the neck with my chisel. How’s the job hunt?”

Ranma sighed, bonking her head into the table. Lapis grimaced. “That bad, huh?”

Ranma turned her head, keeping it on the tabletop. “I mean, I’ve got a job, it’s just… soul sucking. You know.”

“What’s the job?”

“Washing dishes at the Crab Shack in Ocean Town.”

Lapis blanched. “Yikes.”

Steven, who had rejoined them at the table, gave a similar horrified look. “Yikes on Bikes!”

Ranma laughed haggardly. “Yeah… and hosing down the kitchen floor after everyone else has gone home, and unclogging the gross, smelly floor drains…”

Connie reached over, giving Ranma a pity-pat on the shoulder. “Do you at least get free food or something?”

“Connie, if I never have to see another lobster again, it’ll be too soon.”

“When’s your next shift?”

“Tomorrow mornin’, at 10. I gotta get up early enough to catch the 8:30 bus to Ocean Town, though.”

“Oof.

“Yyyyyerp. So I’m just gonna sit here with my head on this cold, comforting table until then.”

As Steven gave Ranma a sympathetic look, Amethyst leaned over. “Psspss.” Quirking an eyebrow, Steven leaned in close. As Connie watched, Amethyst whispered a question into Steven’s ear, Steven giving a smile and a thumbs-up to the suggestion. Amethyst leaned back over the table, planting her elbows on the tabletop.

“Hey, Ranma, if you ain’t too tired, would you want to maybe join us for somethin’ fun tonight?”

Ranma turned her head. “Like what?”

7:50 pm

The Beach City Underground Wrestling Arena

Ranma shifted from one buttock to the other in her folding chair, groaning uncomfortably. The murmur of the crowd filled the air around them, as the fans and regulars of the Beach City League of Underground Wrestling (also known as BLUW) milled around, waiting for the night’s festivities to begin.

On the wall, an enormous custom banner sported the visages of Amethyst and Steven in wrestling getup. The banner’s lettering screamed:

FOR ONE NIGHT ONLY! THE PURPLE PUMA AND TIGER MILLIONAIRE RETURN TO THE RING! ALL PROCEEDS DONATED TO OCEAN TOWN CHILDREN’S HOSPITAL!

“Why, oh why, did I agree to come to this?” Ranma moaned to herself.

On her left, Lapis plopped down in the seat next to her, munching on some popcorn from the concession stand. “Whush tha’?” she asked through a full mouth.

Ranma leaned back her chair back, pushing the front off the ground with one foot. “Wrestling just feels… I dunno, pointless? It’s just play-fighting with steroid-tanked morons who happen to know how to take or fake a hit.”

Lapis leaned over toward Ranma’s ear. She whispered “I actually kinda agree?”

Ranma was surprised. “What, really? Then why are you here?”

“Steven and Amethyst had fun doin’ it way back in the day, and I like that they like it. Plus…” Lapis trailed off, looking over at the aisle. As if on cue, Peridot came hustling down the aisle, purple face paint striped under her visor, clad in a PUMA AND MILLIONAIRE T-Shirt that was at least four sizes too big. She also had, Ranma was amused to see, a bouquet of flowers clutched in one hand.

Peridot hopped up and down in the aisle. “WOOHOO! YEAH! YEAH! GO PURPLE PUMA! AND ALSO GO TIGER MILLIONAIRE!” She waved her arms as she cheered, scattering flower petals.

Ranma smiled. “She’s like a puppy.”

Lapis chuckled. “Peri always goes all in on supporting Amethyst, in everything. Watching her flip out is worth the price of admission on its own.”

Ranma looked back over at Lapis, allowing her chair to clunk back down on the floor. “And Amethyst and Peridot are dating, right?”

“Sure are. Those little gay grapes have been joined at the hip for years now.” Lapis looked over her shoulder. “No offense, Rutiles!”

From across the aisle, in unison. “None taken!” “No offense taken!”

Swiping a handful of Lapis’s popcorn, Ranma asked “So, how did you and Peri meet?”

Lapis threw her head back. “HA! That’s a story. We’ve been friends for years, but we used to hate each other. We met during the Pre-Era-3 War a few years back. Actually, how much do you know about that?”

Ranma shrugged. “Bits and pieces?”

“Eh. Short version, Peridot used to be on Homeworld’s side during the Bad Old Days. She was actually on the mission that imprisoned me as an informant during one of the first Re-Invasions of Earth. That was…”

Lapis trailed off for a moment, staring at something on the old warehouse’s opposite wall. “I was in a bad place back then, mentally. Things went South, for both of us, Peri turned her act around and joined up with Steven, and later on, I did the same. I was pretty rotten to her for a long time after that, but…” Lapis sighed. “I dunno. Things are a lot better now than they used to be, but… I still feel bad about a lot of the stuff I did to her back then.”

Ranma was silent, unsure of what to make of Lapis’s story. “Have you… ever talked to her about it?”

Lapis made a face. “I mean. Kinda?”

“Ah. I’ve been there. Lots of stuff that needs to be said but hasn’t been yet?”

“Yep. Got it in one.”

Ranma hummed thoughtfully, before slowly extending a fist in Lapis’s direction. “Huzzah for the Bury-Your-Problems gang.”

Lapis snorted, meeting Ranma’s fist with her own. “Careful with that thing. After all the martial arts stuff you’ve told me, I’m pretty sure your hands could be classified as lethal weapons.”

“Actually, they are in five provinces. Plus Akane’s mallet was banned by the Geneva Convention, letting Ryoga within ten meters of an umbrella is considered a war crime…”

Lapis cackled, throwing a handful of popcorn at the redhead, who stuck her tongue out at the bluenette.

“None of that, now. The fighting is supposed to happen up there.” Came a new voice, this one smooth and low.

Ranma glanced down their row. Making their way to join them were two new Gems, whom Ranma recognized from the pictures Steven had showed her as Pearl and Garnet.

Lapis raised two fingers in greetings. “Hey, guys. Good to see ya.”

Ranma’s eyes were wide as she took in Steven’s guardians. It was a thoroughly different experience than seeing them in pictures.

Garnet, there was no way around it, was enormous. Tall and broad shouldered, with an impossibly cubic afro only lending her more height. She sported the Simon Shades to match Peridot’s Kamina Shades, and hips that would make Shampoo weep with impotent rage. She was as mighty as a glacier, with a voice as soft as thunder.

Pearl, however? Pearl walked with a smooth grace that would allow an unexperienced eye to write her off as a non-threat. But her jacket barely concealed a pair of muscular shoulders, lean but powerful, forsaking Garnet’s intimidatingly carved mass for speed and agility. Pearl was a coiled cobra, ready to strike at a moment’s notice.

Out of the corner of her eye, Lapis spotted Ranma’s wide eyes as she took the Gems in. Lapis grinned. She knew that look. Catching Ranma’s eye as Pearl and Garnet made their way down the row, she turned her back to them and pointed with a thumb, whispering a breathless “I know, right?!”

Ranma wiped the drool from the side of her mouth.

What is happening to me?

Lapis turned back to the two as they reached their seats. “Guys, this is Ranma. She’s new in town.”

And why does my stomach do backflips every time someone uses that pronoun?!

Garnet extended a hand, bowing respectfully. “Steven has told us about you. He’s very impressed by your fighting abilities.”

“Aw shucks, I just showed him a kata or two.”

Pearl slid past Garnet. She bowed very deeply. “O kai ide ki te kouei desu, Saotome-san.”

Ranma blinked. “Ah… I appreciate the effort, but your dialect is really, really old. Like, I barely understood half of that.”

Pearl blinked, straightening out. “Is it? I suppose the language must have evolved in the past 3000 years. It was either that or Ainu, so I took a gamble.”

“…You’re joking. Oh God, you’re not joking. Do you actually know Ainu?”

Pearl smirked proudly. “E.” She confirmed. Ranma clapped, impressed, as Pearl bowed, more dramatically this time. “Lyairaykere.”

Connie came trotting down the aisle. “I’m back!” she whispered, sliding into her saved seat.

Ranma grinned at her. “How’s yer boooooyyyyyyfriend?”

Connie stuck her tongue out at Ranma, blowing a brief raspberry. “Steven is fine, though for your information, he and I are not dating.”

“Fooled me.”

Connie blushed. “Yes, we’re close, but that’s because we’re Jam Buds.”

“Jam Buds?” Ranma asked.

“We’re best friends, and we wouldn’t have it any other way.” Connie flashed her purple-and-black bracelet at Ranma, the one that matched Steven’s. “Ace Solidarity!”

Ranma leaned back, crossing her legs. “Rock on! So with that in mind, are you dating anyone?”

“My only love is that of the sword. Right, Pearl?”

Pearl nodded with a triumphant look on her face, playing along. “I’ve taught you so well, Connie!”

Connie grinned. “Buuuuut in all seriousness, I’m not actually seeing anyone right now.” She pointed a finger at Ranma. “And don’t ask, because I’m not looking for an older woman.”

“I’m like three years older than you, dude.” Ranma leaned back in her chair. “And don’t worry, I think I’m done with romance as it is.”

“Everyone, please take your seats!” The voice of Mr. Smiley came over the speakers as Ranma glanced around. “When do Steven and Amethyst come out?”

Lapis grinned. “Trust me, you’ll know.”

Ranma grumbled, feeling her thin wallet through her pocket. “Glad my ticket fee is going to charity, at least. I don’t have that much to give.”

Pearl leaned over. “It’s galaxies better than the last charity the Wrestling League got involved with.”

Ranma leaned toward Pearl and Lapis, her interest piqued. “What was the last charity?”

Lapis rolled her eyes. “Ocean Town was building a mall a year or two ago, and Smiley got up in arms about it. Thought it was gonna steal business from Funland or something. So he signed up with Moms Against Malls, and they started collecting money and protesting against the Builder’s Associated Movement. That whole thing went down in flames, and the mall still got built.”

Connie grinned toothily. “He called it ‘Slam B.A.M., Thank You M.A.M.’”

Ranma’s breathless cackle was cut off by Smiley going over the intercom again.

“Ladies, Gentlemen, and Variations Thereupon, Welcome to a Very Special Night at the Beach City Ring! Thank you so much for your contributions for the Ocean Town Hospital Fund!”

There was a loud round of applause. Ranma caught sight of Smiley at the commentator’s booth, living up to his name by grinning ear-to-ear.

“And now, without further ado, the moment you’ve been waiting for! Back in the ring and out for blood, for one night only!”

There was the briefest pause before a scratchy audio file began playing over the speakers, the roars of large predator animals over a wild guitar solo. As the crowd went wild, a large curtain covering the hole in the back wall slid open, revealing-

Oh Sweet God

Amethyst, in full Purple Puma mode, striking a mighty flex. Beside her: Steven, in a tie and suspenders, a fake tiger snout stuck to his nose like a mask. Both of them, giving their best villainous grins.

“Please welcome! TIIIIIIIGERRRRRRR MILLLLLLLLLYONAIRE AND THE PURRRRRRRRRRRPLLLLLLLLE PEWWWWWWWWWMAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

The crowd began to cheer. Peridot jumped on top of her seat, making noises that sounded as if she were attempting to turn herself inside out.

Ranma leaned back in her chair again, settling in for a downright weird two hours. “Hoooo boy.”

10:04 pm

Outside the wrestling warehouse, Ranma took a deep breath of the cool night air. As the crowd milled past her, Peridot brandished her now-ruined flowers. “I’m gonna go give these to Amethyst backstage!” She exclaimed, before charging off toward the back of the building.

“Soooo, what’d you think?” Lapis asked from Ranma’s left.

“Phew.” Ranma answered after a moment. “That… sure was a thing.”

Lapis waved a hand. “It’s okay, you don’t have to pretend.”

“Okay, good. I hated everything I just witnessed.”

From Pearl: “Really? Steven told us you’re a practicing martial artist. I’d have thought wrestling would be right up your alley.”

Ranma shook her head. “Did you see the hot mess that happened in there? There wasn’t a single actual hit thrown!  It’s all just theatrics and costumes! That Loch Ness Blogster guy was wiggling and moaning on the ground for ages while Amethyst spent five dang minutes getting a plastic chair to hit him with!”

Pearl shrugged. “To be fair, I’m pretty sure Frynaldo is just Like That, as Lars says.”

Ranma moaned. She hadn’t realized how fight-starved she’d been until tonight, seeing that mockery of combat. “I’d murder a k-k-k-kitten for a half decent excuse to really let lose.”

Garnet hummed, breaking her silence. “I may have a solution to that. Amethyst and I have another event we’ll be going to after this. You’re free to join us.”

Pearl turned pale, an impressive feat for her. “You want to take her to that?!”

Ranma scowled. “If it’s more fake wrestling, count me out.”

Pearl turned to look at Ranma. “No, it’s a…” she fretted, before cutting herself off and turning back to Garnet. “Are you sure she’d be okay there? She is human…”

Garnet slid her sunglasses down and to the side, revealing a third, purple eye in the middle of her forehead. “Ranma would absolutely be okay. She’d have fun, even.” She smiled, winking with the third eye.

With Pearl seemingly satisfied, Ranma pointed a finger, staring at Garnet’s forehead. “Eye… guess I’ll try anything once? As long as I’m done in time to get some sleep before work.”

Garnet slid her shades back on. “Trust me, that won’t be a problem.”

Before Ranma could ask what that meant, Steven and Amethyst came jogging up the aisle, back in normal clothes. Peridot was riding on Amethyst’s shoulders, Amethyst munching on the remains of her bouquet.

Steven was smiling ear-to-ear. “How was it?”

Connie threw her arms around her Jam Bud, giving him a tight hug. “You were incredible up there!”

Amethyst shot a big, eager smile at Garnet. “We ready to head out, G?”

10:48 pm

Little Homeworld

The Warp Pad in the Little Homeworld pavilion lit up as Garnet, Amethyst, and a very green-looking Ranma appeared in the center.

Ranma stepped off the pad, breathing heavily. “Oh… oh, I don’t like that… don’t like that one bit-“ There was a splatter as Ranma threw up her popcorn. “Shimatta…”

Amethyst grimaced. “You okay, kid?”

Ranma straightened up, pale faced, wiping her mouth. “Ugh. Note to self, Ranma does not like being teleported.”

Garnet pointed stiffly at a wide building on the other side of the pavilion. The windows were lit up. “Over here.”

Sauntering over, Amethyst pushed the double doors open with a loud Ka-Chunk. Taking in the sight before her, Ranma’s eyes opened wide.

The building, which appeared to be a combination of a gym and another fighting arena, was packed with bulky, cheering Gems. Quartzes, Ranma recognized from the Gems 101 brochure Steven had given her. They came in a rainbow of different colors, some of them with horns or claws. Among the Quartzes were a handful of other Gem types, mostly Agates and Rubies. Scattered among the crowd, Ranma could also see the occasional human, all in excellent physical condition.

The crowd had gathered around the arena, where a pair of Quartzes- one blue, one purple, were wailing on each other. Throwing actual punches, even. As Ranma watched, the blue one fell to the ground, tapping out on the mat. A Ruby in a human’s black-and-white referee shirt (Rubyferee?) blew a whistle, waving her arms. An unseen bell went Ding-Ding! The purple Jasper smiled, reaching down and helping the blue one to her feet.

Off to the side, a rail-thin orange Gem leaned into her microphone. “And that’s Blue Lace Jasper down, after a phenomenal fight. Point goes to Purple Jasper!”

Ranma whistled, impressed. Amethyst grinned. “Welcome to the Little Homeworld Fight Club.”

Ranma was amazed. “How did this happen?”

Amethyst shrugged. “When it comes down to it, a lot of Quartzes just enjoy fighting. They had the same complaints you did when it came to Beach City Wrestling, so they set this up. As long as it’s good fun, and not trying to settle blood feuds or something like that, we let it be.”

Ranma blinked, registering part of that sentence. “Has that happened?”

Amethyst scowled. “Sometimes, and I’m not naming names-“ (Garnet made a coughing noise that sounded suspiciously like the word “Jasper.”) “-we’ll get someone who doesn’t like how Gems act these days, and they try to make things super violent.”

“That’s where I come in.” A new, gruff voice interjected. Another Quartz, blonde with light blue skin, sauntered over with her hands on her hips and a grin on her face. “This here is my fight club, and that makes it my responsibility.” She extended a massive, clawed hand toward Ranma, who shook it. “Angel Aura Quartz. I’m in charge of these knuckleheads.”

“Ranma Saotome! Practitioner of the Saotome School of Anything-Goes Martial Arts!” Ranma smiled as the old phrase rolled off her tongue automatically. She blinked, then lamely followed up with “…Former Practitioner.”

If Angel Aura noticed the backtracking, she didn’t acknowledge it, instead tossing her horned head backward to indicate the ring. “You here to watch? We’ve got some good ones comin’ up!”

Ranma fixed a smile back on her face. “Actually, I was plannin’ on joining in!”

Angel Aura stared at Ranma as if she had grown two extra heads. “Kid… ya know that Gems are super strong, right?”

“Yes. And?”

Angel Aura sighed. “Okay, listen. You wanna know why we have our own league? It’s because we tried to join in on that so-called Wrestling thing in town. Humans are, shall I say… squishy.”

“Squishy.” Ranma repeated, flatly.

“If pressed, I might even say very squishy. So when it comes to bouts, we keeps to ourselves. Yeah, we have a few human regulars, but they’re what you guys call… bodybuilders, or whatever. You’re kinda…”

Don’t say it. Don’t say it. Don’t you dare say it.

“Short?” Angel Aura finished.

She said it.

Ranma’s grin became a bit more fixed, as her teeth ground together, producing a shrill squeaking noise. Ranma drew herself up to her full height of a whopping Five-Foot-Two, glared Angel Aura in the eye, and said “Am. I. Flinching?”

Angel Aura glared right back, unblinking. Amethyst’s eyes flickered back and forth between the two of them. The tension could be cut with a knife.

Suddenly, Angel Aura broke the silence with a loud, booming laugh. “You’ve got guts, kid! What the heck, go ahead and sign up. Worst case scenario, Steven gave us a few vials of his spit.”

Ranma could almost feel her Fighting Spirit screech to a halt. “Vials of his what now?”

Amethyst clapped her on the shoulder. “Don’t worry about it. C’mon, let’s get you signed up!”

Ranma paused. “Actually, is there a bathroom in this building?”

Amethyst pointed to a door near the entrance. “Yeah, actually. Bismuth added it since humans like to visit Little Homeworld, and a lot of Gems enjoy eating.”

“Cool, give me a sec. I want to wash the puke-taste out of my mouth. Go ahead and put my name down.”

Jogging over, Ranma pushed the door open. It opened silently, without a creak. The bathroom was surprisingly clean for a public toilet- the benefits of humans not using it that often.

Ranma leaned over the sink, turning the cold water on, and collecting it in her cupped hands. She poured it into her mouth, swishing it around.

As she swished the water around, she looked herself in the mirror.

Just barely over five feet. Clothes baggy on her, fitted to her ma… to her other form. Dark bags under her eyes from hard workdays followed by fitful sleep, interrupted by the occasional nightmare.

Short, huh.

Her eyes slowly moved down to the still running faucet. Slowly, her hand crept forward. The Hot handle turned forward, the cold handle turned backward.

It had been almost a month since her weird tantrum on the beach. Maybe that was enough time for whatever caused it to have passed.

Enough of this. I’m a guy, that’s all there is to it. I’ve been gone from Nerima for half a year now. If anyone searched for me, they’ve long quit by now, and they wouldn’t be looking for me on the literal other side of the world anyway. Enough with the games, Saotome.

Ranma reached for the water. Her hands trembling, the hot water pooled in her hands.

Do it now. Rip it off like a band-aid.

Before she could stop herself, she splashed the water across her face.

He felt himself shift, his center of gravity changing. His chest shrank, his height grew a full 6 inches. His body bulked outward, his clothes fitting now.

His hands were still over his face. Why were his hands still over his face?

Under his shirt, he felt his sports bra constrict at his chest. He wore it at all times, no matter the form. It was helpful on Girl Mode’s chest, and it was stretchy enough to fit both forms.

It also feels good to wear it

Better take it off. No sense in having it distract you during the fight. Right. Of course. Guys don’t wear bras anyway.

The sink was still running, hissing as the water flowed out. Under the bottoms of his hands, he could see the mirror beginning to fog.

Slowly, he lowered his hands, looking at his male form in the mirror for the first time in… who knew how long.

There he was.

There was he.

His mother’s voice echoed in his head for the first time in months: Look at my son. A true Man Among Men.

Another sudden wave of nausea overtook him. Leaving the water running, he staggered for the nearest toilet stall, slamming the door against the wall. He leaned over the bowl and violently retched. Nothing came up except something thin and watery. His throat was burning. Part of his brain dimly registered that it was stomach acid, that was what you threw up when there was nothing else to puke.

He leaned on the handle as he stood, the toilet flushing beneath him.

I can’t do this I can’t do this

He returned to the sink in one long, quick stride, turning the water back to cold, not even waiting for it to change before he started splashing his face again, over and over. The splashes went from hot, to warm, to cool, to cold, to deliciously frigid.

Ranma fell on her bottom on the bathroom floor. Her back against the wall, her legs curled up in front of her. Water dripped off of her hair, trickling down her face, making her nose itch. Her soaked Chinese shirt clung to her. The sink continued hissing above her.

She froze as someone knocked at the door. From outside, Amethyst’s familiar voice. “Ranma? You okay in there? You’ve been a while.”

“I-I-” Ranma’s voice cracked. She paused, and gathered herself. “I’m fine! Give me a minute!”

“You sure? Do you want me to come in?”

Oh God go away go away go away GO AWAY

“Yeah, I’m good! I’ll be out soon!”

“A’ight.” The faint sound of receding footsteps.

Ranma allowed herself to breath, a hitching, staggered gasp. Her throat was on fire, and now her eyes were burning too. Her face was wet from the sink, and that had to be the only reason why.

What’s happening to me? What’s happening to me? What’s WRONG with me?!!?

Amethyst heard the bathroom door slam open. She turned, her eyes widening to see Ranma. The braided martial artist stormed toward the ring, her eyes red and bloodshot, her shirt drenched with water. She stomped with a fury that suggested her mortal enemy was in the ring, and would not be leaving alive. Her wet shoes squelched under her with each step.

Amethyst raised two hands. “Woah, woah, easy! Are you okay-“

“I’m fine.” Ranma growled through clenched teeth. “I need to punch something.”

As Ranma passed, Amethyst shared a troubled look with Garnet. Ranma’s expression was one Amethyst had seen before: on her own face in the mirror, years ago. Back when she would vent her frustrations on the wrestlers on good days, and on Pearl on bad ones.

Reaching the ring, Ranma kicked off her shoes, grabbed the ropes, and hauled herself up. In the ring, she pulled off her wet shirt, revealing her sports bra, to a few whistles from the crowd. She tossed the shirt in a random direction, leaving her barefoot and shirtless, clad only in her monk pants and sports bra.

Across from her, the Purple Jasper from before sized her up, glancing her up and down without any hint of lewdness. This undersized human across from her was either crazy enough to think she could win, or too angry to care. Possibly both.

At the edge of the ring, Amethyst joined the crowd. “Garnet, should we stop this?”

Garnet paused, before, to Amethyst’s amazement, smiling and shaking her head. “Nah. She’s got this.”

The Rubyferee hustled out into the middle of the ring, between the two of them. “You all know the rules! Physical attacks with fists, legs, or horns only! No weapons, powers, energy blasts, or otherwise unique abilities! Victory is by ring out, tap-out, or knockout! I want a clean fight! Understood?”

Purple Jasper nodded. “Yep.”

Ranma nodded, still glaring. “Yeah.”

“Good!” The Rubyferee chopped her hand downward. “Nowleszgedditon!”

Ding-Ding!

The Purple Jasper raised a hand in a Hold-On movement. She extended it in yet another handshake. “Best of luck, Teeny.”

Without blinking, Ranma grabbed the proffered hand and threw herself backward onto the mat, pulling Purple Jasper with her. She planted both feet into the Gem’s midsection as she pivoted backward on her back, eliciting a wheeze as Purple Jasper had the wind knocked out of her. With a mighty “HIII-YAH!”, Ranma kicked both legs outward, launching Purple Jasper over her and out of the ring. Purple Jasper flew through the air and impacted into the wall with a mighty Crunch.

The fight had taken less than six seconds.

Ranma hopped to her feet, dusting herself off as she hummed nonchalantly. The entire hall was silent with shock. Someone had forgotten to ring the bell.

The Skinny Jasper at the commentator’s table was the first to recover. “Uh… the winner! The human challenger…” she peered at the signup sheet. “Ranma Sow-toam?”

Ranma barely even noticed her mispronounced name as she caught Amethyst’s eye, giving her a playful wink. Amethyst’s jaw was halfway to her chest.

Ranma planted a fist on her waist, and hollered “NEXT!”

2:30 am

Ranma was laughing joyously as she fell backwards onto the bleachers. Amethyst looked her over as she approached with a plastic vial full of a clear liquid. Ranma seemed to hardly notice the bruises covering her.

Amethyst cocked an eyebrow at her. “Youuuuuu okay, dude? Yer gettin’ kinda freaky with the laughter.”

Ranma wiped a happy tear from her eye. “Hee! Sorry, Amethyst, it’s just… I haven’t had a good fight like that in ages! Oh, I needed this, you have no idea.” She looked across the floor at the assorted Gems. “Hey! Really great night, guys! I had so much fun!”

The assorted Quartzes and other Gems gave a loud cheer at the first human to really prove a challenge to them. Passing the bench, a black-and-white striped Jasper extended her fist in the offer of a fistbump, which Ranma happily accepted. “Great match out there, Zeebs! You actually gave me a run for my money there!”

Zebra Jasper grinned, exposing a mouth full of fangs. “I still can’t believe it took the Rubies dogpiling you to bring you down! That’s definitely one for the books. We better see you back here soon, Ranma!”

Ranma gave a grin back. “Wouldn’t miss it!” She flashed a thumb-up, before immediately recoiling her arm. “Ow, ow, ow, ow…”

Amethyst gave her a light punch on the arm. “Easy, dude, you’re still banged up. I still gotta put this stuff on you.” Ranma looked down at the vial as Amethyst popped the cork off. “What did you guys say this stuff was?”

“Steven’s spit. He’s got healing spit.”

Ranma blinked. “Huh. Ew.”

“Don’t worry. I’m pretty sure it’s, like, physically impossible for him to get germs.”

Ranma raised a hand. “Thanks, but nah. I’ll heal.”

“You sure? You’re gonna hurt in the morning.”

“Yeah, but it’s so worth it.”

Amethyst shrugged, corking the vial. “Suit yourself.”

Ranma gave Amethyst a long look. “Do you ever fight here, Amethyst?”

Amethyst grinned. “Sure do! I’m the reigning second-place champion!” Amethyst hopped backward onto her feet, and immediately spun into a whirling ball that zoomed a lap around the arena, before sliding to a stop in front of Ranma.

“Oh my God, you’re so cool.” Ranma breathed. “Puh-lease tell me I’ll get to fight you next time, Amethyst.”

Amethyst smiled. “You’re on, dude.”

Ranma grinned right back, before something Amethyst said clicked. “Wait, second-place? Who’s the first-place champ?”

Amethyst pointed to the small set of bleachers on the opposite wall. On the top row, a Sapphire sat, dark blue enough to almost be black. Her hair pinned up to reveal her single eye, she gave Ranma a sardonic wave and a sharp, toothy grin.

“Her? I thought Sapphires were like, non-combat Gems or somethin’.”

Amethyst nodded. “Believe it. No one’s ever been able to land a hit on her. She tires them out, then cleans their clocks.”

“Wooooow.”

The Sapphire, not breaking eye contact, drew her thumb across her own throat, her sharklike smile ever-present.

As Amethyst shuddered, Garnet strode over from the crowd. “I had to see it myself, but I was right. You’re just the person I’m looking for, Ranma.”

Ranma raised an eyebrow. “Looking for for what?”

Garnet sat down next to her. “Little Homeschool has been looking for a good self-defense teacher for non-combat Gems. The Beach City Community Center has been looking for a similar teacher for their self-defense class, after the last one was fired. I think you’d be a perfect fit for it. You’re strong enough to hold your own with Gems, but human enough to not wreck a student. The position is yours if you accept it.” Garnet leaned back, smiling, already having a very good feeling what Ranma’s answer would be.

Ranma’s mouth was agape. Eventually, she pulled together enough self-control to talk again. “H… how much does it pay?”

Garnet told her.

Ranma felt something explode in the back of her head.

That much?! To do what I love doing anyway?!

Garnet continued. “You’ll also receive free room and board at the Gem Community Housing complex across the way as part of the deal. We have plenty of rooms, and the apartments go to anyone in need anyway.”

Ranma looked Garnet down, unblinking. “Garnet. Look at me. Tell me you are not joking, and I will call my boss and quit my job, right now.”

From Amethyst: “Dude, it’s like two in the morning.”

“Yes it is. Am I flinching?”

Gartnet looked Ranma in the eye. “Teaching self-defense, your way. Free room and board. Excellent pay. Interested.” She finished. It was a statement, not a question.

Without hesitating, Ranma dug in her pocket for her phone. She slid through the contacts, before selecting one and placing the phone to her ear.

After a long pause, a tired mumble could be heard on the other end of the phone line.

Ranma perked up. “Hello, Bryce?”

7:00 am

Beach City’s Beach

Ranma sighed, stretching herself out. She heard a few satisfying clicks.

After the fight club, she’d been too wired to go to sleep yet, and without having to worry about the Crab Shack anymore, she’d wound up wandering around town until dawn. She’d eventually wound up on the Beach, at what had become her usual spot for her morning kata.

Even so, she’d finally begun to feel the grasping fingers of sleep starting to catch up with her. With a tired smile, she drew a circle around her in the sand with the toe of her shoe, preparing for one last kata to unwind before heading back to the motel.

As she settled into position, a familiar voice spoke out. “Hey there, stranger.” Ranma opened her eyes, already smiling.

Lapis Lazuli was walking out of the ocean, the water already dripping off of her. She shook her hair, scattering droplets in a wide arc.

Ranma distinctly ignored what felt like her heart doing a backflip.

“Hey Lapis. I figured I’d see you here. Do you always finish your morning swim at this beach?”

Lapis smiled. “They’re walks, actually. I sink to the bottom and walk from the cliffs near Little Homeworld to here.”

“Wow. Underwater walks.”

“I’ll take you along sometime, if you like. I can make you an air bubble.”

“Neat!” Ranma paused. “Oh! Big news! I’m gonna be teaching self-defense courses at Little Homeschool starting next week!”

Lapis nodded. “I heard! Apparently you made a big splash at the Fight Club last night!”

“Aw, I had so much fun, Lapis! I’ve been missing being able to practice the art! You should have come with!”

Her expression souring, Lapis shook her head. “No thanks. I... don’t like how I get when I fight.”

Ranma shrugged. “Fair enough.”

Her face becoming sunny again, Lapis pointed to their usual hangout spot down the beach. “Want to get donuts?”

Ranma shook her head. “If it were any other day, I’d say yes. But I had a big night, and I’m about to pass out. Plus I’m gonna be packing my bags for my move to Little Homeworld tomorrow. I think I’m just gonna do my kata and go collapse.”

Lapis shrugged, her hands in her pockets. “Cool.” She paused. “Would… you mind if I watched?” She asked, a little bashfully.

A pause. Then, a smile from Ranma. “I’d like that.”

Lapis sat down on the sand, making herself comfortable as Ranma centered herself. A deep breath, in and out, and Ranma began.

Slowly, gracefully, Ranma moved through the motions. A punch. Another punch. A kick. A deep breath accompanying each. Each move, flowing gently and softly into the next.

Lapis watched, breathing softly, not daring to spoil the moment by speaking. Lit by the sun rising over the water, Ranma looked… amazing. Graceful.

Beautiful, even.

Chapter Text

June

Beach City Community Center

“Thank you for coming,” Ranma spoke, not breaking her bow.

“Thank you for the lesson.” Her class responded.

Slowly moving upright, in unison with the class, Ranma beamed. “Dismissed! Good work today!”

The class broke formation, settling into a more casual mood. As her students headed for the changing rooms to change out of their gi’s, Ranma called after them. “Be sure to try and get at least fifteen minutes of kata in, and meditate if you can! I’ll see you all on Friday!”

Ranma looked over her notes as she waited for the students to change, before she would go back there to change her own clothes. It was Dojo Etiquette, that the sensei be the first to arrive and the last to leave.

“Sensei Ranma?”

Ranma glanced up from her notes to see Kiki Pizza, still clad in her gi and a smile. Ranma smiled back at her. “Just Ranma when the lessons are over, Kiki. What can I do for you?”

“I just wanted to say thank you for being so open and understanding in your lessons. You’re definitely the best self-defense teacher this class has had.”

Ranma grimaced. “Ah, yeah. I’ve heard the horror stories about Sensei Kronin.”

“Ugh, yes! That man ran his dojo like a boot camp! I took his class when Jenny and I were kids, he’d have the higher belts beat up the lower belts to, I dunno, toughen us up or something?”

“Well, you don’t need to worry. I promise nothing like that will happen under this roof while I’m teaching.”

Kiki smiled. “Thank you so much, Sensei.” She bowed again, then headed for the changing room.

As she left, Ranma scowled. She’d seen a photo of Sensei Kronin a few days prior, hanging on the wall during her first look at the dojo space. The man bore an uncanny resemblance to a certain panda-shifting martial artist she once knew, just with glasses and bandanna swapped for an ugly beard and a truly gigantic neck. A man who would be more at home as a drill sergeant than a martial arts instructor. The kind of man who would wait until board-breaking day in the kids course just to show them all up by breaking a cinderblock while roaring.

What does it take for a self-defense instructor to get fired for anger problems?

Ranma wasn’t entirely sure she wanted to know.

One way or another, Sensei Kronin had left Beach City behind, and this Dojo was her own now. She looked over it with a swelling sense of pride.

My own Dojo. Gotta admit, I never saw this coming. Didn’t even have to Unite The Schools to do it.

And this was only the one Dojo.

After all, she had a whole different class to teach in an hour, at Little Homeschool.

The summer sun shone pleasantly down on Ranma as she adopted a leisurely stroll, her gi tucked in her duffel bag over her shoulder. Her shoulders were warmed in the sun, Ranma having swapped out her long-sleeved Chinese shirt for her sleeveless one.

With summer had come Beach City’s increased tourist population. Beach City was out of the way and obscure enough that they didn’t get flooded with tourists like some seaside towns, but they still did well enough for themselves. Many unfamiliar faces wandered the Boardwalk, seeing the sights, visiting the Arcade. Across town, Funland was actually able to handle the increased crowds, thanks to Amethyst’s GHEM program actually giving Mr. Smiley enough employees to let him rest.

It had been two months since Ranma’s arrival in her new home, and she had never been happier.

New town. New friends. A place to not only practice the art, but to teach it, her way. No enraged rivals and fiancées waiting to ambush her or demand her head.

Not for the first time, Ranma wondered what was happening in the town she’d left behind.

No news was good news, she supposed. She did miss Ukyo, though. He’d like it here. She hoped he and Konatsu were doing okay.

Akane… that was its own bucket of worms.

Ranma shook her head, clearing the scowl from her face. Enough of that. No sense in dwelling on the unpleasantries of the past.

As she walked down the Boardwalk, some melancholic, yet surprisingly pleasant music wafted her way. Between Fish Stew Pizza and Beach Citywalk Fries, a pair of buskers had set up shop. One had a guitar, gently strumming its strings. His partner had a trumpet, blowing a soft, muted tune from it. Together, they combined to form what Ranma recognized as an old Burt Bacharach tune.

As she sauntered toward them, an odd feeling rose in her chest, and she slipped into song.

“What do you get when you fall in love?

Someone with a pin to burst your bubble.

That’s all you get for all your trouble

So I-I-I’ll never fall in love again,

I’ll never fall in love again.

What do you get when you kiss someone?

You get enough germs to catch pneumonia,

And once you do, they’ll never phone ya,

So I’ll never fall in love again,

No, I’ll never fall in love again.”

Swinging her bag from one shoulder to another, Ranma hopped forward onto the Boardwalk railing, stepping delicately along the edge, no hint of unsteadiness or loss of balance in her step.

“Don’t tell me what it’s all about,

Cause I’ve been in, and I’m glad I’m out,

Out of those chains, those chains that bind you,

That is why I’m here to remind you…”

She hopped down from the railing, and strode to the busker’s open guitar case. Fishing into her wallet, she produced the last of her stiff bills, that had accompanied her across America, before the job she’d gotten her. Around fifty dollars in assorted tens, fives, and ones. She tucked it into the guitar case, giving the horn player a wink, receiving a tip of his hat in return.

Ranma straightened her bag on her shoulder, and continued on her way to Little Homeworld with one last stanza.

“What do you get when you fall in love?

You only get lies and pain and sorrow,

So I’m taking my better tomorrow,

And I’ll never fall in love again,

No, I’ll… never fall in love again.”

Leaving the song’s last few notes to finish behind her, Ranma kept walking, a spring in her step, her smile unmoving and true.

Weather permitting, physical classes at Little Homeworld were held on the roof of the Gem Gym that housed the Quartz Fight Club. The storage room just inside the roof door had been stocked with a pile of portable tatami mats, for the principle of the matter more than anything else. Gems were hardy, but Ranma still didn’t want to risk a student getting hurt on her watch.

Stepping onto the sunny roof, again clad in her gi, Ranma was pleasantly surprised to see a much larger turnout from the first two classes the previous week. Evidently, word had been spreading among the Gems, most of whom were only familiar with combat classed to their specific weapons or powers, if they were combat-experienced at all.

Most of her students were non-combat Gems, as had been expected. A trio of Zircons, a Moonstone, a freckled Lapis Lazuli, a quiet Ruby, and a whopping five liberated Pearls. This week, joining them were two more Pearls, two Agates, a Topaz fusion, and to her surprise, Amethyst.

If this keeps up, we’re gonna have to add more classes. Maybe hire another sensei. I already had to add another class just for the Quartzes.

She grinned at the memory. After her excellent night fighting the Quartz Fight Club, they had all collectively showed up at her new apartment at the Barn, begging her to teach them. Angel Aura Quartz herself had been front and center, deep in a respectful bow.

Ranma had agreed to teach them, under the condition that they have their own course and class time, both to accommodate volume and not endanger other Gems until both sides were skilled enough and ready.

She clapped her hands, attracting everyone’s attention. “Welcome! Thank you all for coming! If ya don’t know me, I’m Sensei Ranma, and in this Dojo, you will refer to me as such. I see we have some new faces this week, so I’ll go over rules before we get started. First off, who here can shapeshift?”

A scattering of raised hands, mostly from Era 1 Gems.

“If you can, go ahead and shapeshift yourself a Gi for now. After class, I’ll need to get everyone’s sizes so I can order them a proper one. Second, this is a place for learning. If you want to joke, I’ll joke right along with ya, but your lessons here come first. Third, no fights unless instructed or permitted. Do I have any questions?”

A raised hand from one of the Agates. “Sensei, why do we need actual… what are they called, Gis? Why can’t we just shapeshift one every week?”

Ranma nodded, pointing a finger. “Excellent question! Your gi, especially your belt, is something you earn the right to have and keep. You’ve earned the gi by just taking the initiative to show up. Your belts will be earned, and they will be yours to keep an’ be proud of.”

Amethyst raised her hand. “Ranm- uh, Sensei- you already know how Peri likes to cheer me on. Would it be okay if she joined us just to watch?”

Ranma shook her head. “Sorry, Amethyst, that’s gonna be a solid no. No offense to you or Peridot, but this needs to be a distraction-free environment, for you and everyone else. Feel free to show her what you’ve learned on your off time. If we have an exhibition day, or if she wants to learn too, she’s welcome to come.”

Amethyst, looking slightly disappointed, still conceded the point. “I’ll let her know. Sorry, Sensei.”

“Hey, don’t ever apologize for asking questions. I want everyone here to be comfortable at all times. On that note, don’t be afraid to tap out if you feel overwhelmed during a spar here or anything. That’s a blanket rule: tap-out means the spar is over. If you want, we can talk about what has you troubled.”

Ranma straightened out, smiling. “Now, if there are no more questions, go ahead and shapeshift a gi if you can, and we’ll go over the basics. If you were here last week, use this as a refresher. Ready?”

Across the pavilion, atop the Gem Community Housing Building (or, as it had come to be nicknamed, the Barn), a familiar blue Gem sat cross-legged on the roof’s ledge. The enormous combination high-powered windmill/solar panel that Peridot had designed whirred gently behind her.

Lapis peered through a pair of binoculars, down at the roof of the Gem Gym. On its roof, over a dozen Gems had gathered, Freckles and Amethyst included. She couldn’t hear what Ranma was saying, but she clearly spoke with an authority Lapis hadn’t seen from her before. Ranma was in her element.

Ranma turned from the crowd and stepped to the edge of the mat. She paused there, seemingly taking a deep breath. Lapis adjusted the zoom on the binoculars.

Ranma suddenly opened her eyes, looked directly down the barrel of the binoculars, and flashed Lapis a wink and a peace sign. Caught in the act, Lapis flinched backward.

What the-

Looking through the binoculars again, Lapis saw Ranma turn back around to face the class. She began a slower, more simplified version of her morning kata, the class slowly copying her movements.

“Creepin’ on humans again, Laz?”

Startled for the second time in twenty seconds, Lapis stiffened. “EEP!” At the sound of warm, familiar laughter behind her, she turned and swatted Bismuth on the bicep. “I told you not to sneak up on me like that, Bismuth!”

Bismuth wiped a happy tear from her eye, still chuckling. “Sorry, sorry, I had to.” She leaned on the ledge, next to Lapis. “So, whatcha lookin’ at?”

Lapis pointed down at the Gem Gym, offering Bismuth the binoculars. Bismuth squinted through them. “Oh, is that your friend? The fighter?”

Lapis nodded, smiling. “Ranma, yeah. That self-defense class Garnet recruited her for seems to be really taking off.”

“You guys have the same taste in pants.” Bismuth grinned, teasingly. Lapis rolled her eyes and gave her another swat.

Bismuth looked back down. “What’s the movements she’s doing? Some kinda dance?”

“I think it’s called a kata? It’s like, warmup, winddown, and practice all in one?”

Bismuth pulled back from the binoculars to see Lapis squinting down at the class, trying to get a good look with her naked eyes.

“Why don’t you go down there and join ‘em?” Bismuth offered softly, testing the waters.

Lapis shook her head violently. “Oh, no-no-no. I get violent when I fight, you know that. I don’t wanna… you know.”

As Bismuth watched, Lapis’s face shifted from defensiveness to a kind of wistfulness. If Bismuth were a romantic, she might have called it a longing. It was the same look Bismuth knew had been on her own face many times, as she watched Pearl.

After thinking for a moment, Bismuth added: “Has she seen the studio yet? Why don’t you invite her over, you said you’ve been telling her about the Morps.”

Lapis’s eyes brightened. “Yeah! Steven’s coming over anyway, we can all hang out.”

Bismuth smiled, giving Lapis a pat on the back with one massive hand. Stepping away toward the stairwell, Bismuth fished her custom-ordered, oversized phone from her overalls pocket, quickly typing a text to her favorite short green gremlin.

Although Ranma heard her phone vibrate during the class, she didn’t dare check it until after her students had been dismissed for the day.

From: Lapis!

hey! me and steben are gonna be hanging out this afternoon. want to join us when your class finishes?

Ranma smiled enormously. She hadn’t seen Steven since the Wrestling match a few weeks back, and Lapis was the coolest person she knew.

To: Lapis!

Sure! Let me run to my place and change right quick. Meet you there?

Ranma hopped the one-story drop to the ground, crossed the Pavilion at a quick trot, and entered through the front doors of the Barn. The lobby of the Housing Building was a dark, stony brown, with gold-colored accents. It was spacious, but not intimidatingly so, with large, squat columns lining the way to the elevator. It was alien, yet oddly homey.

Ranma bypassed the elevator, heading for the stairwell as had become her routine. She took the stairs two-by-two, ascending to her room on the eighth floor.

The doorknob hummed as it recognized her handprint, unlocking the door for her. Peridot had whipped up the security system as an alternative to the Gemstone-based ID system, for the non-Gem inhabitants of the building.

The little Gem tinkerer really was a genius, Ranma thought to herself. She thought back to the conversation she’d had with Peridot.

“How have you not gotten job offers from Uncle Sam yet?” Ranma asked incredulously.

Peridot snorted. “Oh, I’ve been in contact with this Uncle Samuel. They wanted me to come work for them, designing weapons for their Defense Department.”

“How’d that turn out?”

Peridot grinned maliciously. “They stopped asking after receiving the fourth Increasingly-Large Orb Filled With Hornets from me.”

Ranma shuddered, reminding herself once again not to get on Peri’s bad side.

Now within the sweet solitude of her own apartment, Ranma undid her gi, stripping down to her underwear. She shimmied out of her sports bra, allowing The Girls to drop and hang free.

She breathed a deep sigh of relief. “Ahhhhhh… oh, that’s fucking orgasmic.”

She considered a quick shower before Lapis got here, and immediately thought better of it. Lapis could be here any minute, and it was too warm for a shower anyway. Yep. That was the only reason not to take a shower.

Ranma shimmied into a clean pair of pants, swapping her sleeveless red Chinese shirt for the short-sleeved orange Chinese shirt.

Let no one say I don’t have an aesthetic.

As she slipped on the pair of cheap green flip-flops she’d gotten from the local Goodwill earlier this week, she heard a light tap-tap at the door. Perfect timing.

Ignoring the butterflies that had taken up residence in her stomach for some reason, she opened the door to reveal her favorite Gem. Lapis, leaning against the doorway, her arms crossed confidently.

“Hey, Ranma.”

“Hiya, Lapis.”

Unbeknownst to either of them, both of them slid a glance down each other’s muscles- both built and strong.

Lapis nodded her head back down the hallway. “Shall we?”

Ranma returned the nod, grinning. “We shall!”

A brief elevator ride later, and Ranma was stepping after Lapis onto the Barn’s twelfth floor.

“I’ve been looking forward to seeing your studio, Lapis!”

Lapis grinned toothily, her hands in her pockets. “I’ve been wanting to show you for ages. Sorry about creepin’ on your class earlier.”

Ranma waved a dismissive hand. “Eh, it’s cool. You know you’re welcome to join us if you ever change your mind.”

She saw Lapis’s shoulders stiffen ever so slightly, then relax, as they always did when the topic came up. “I… thanks, Ranma.”

Ranma felt her hand come up, falter slightly, then gently place itself on Lapis’s shoulder. “Sorry. You okay?”

Lapis shrugged, though not hard enough to dislodge Ranma’s hand. “It’s cool. Come on, here we are.”

Ranma spied Lapis’s gem light up with a blue glow as she heard her door unlock. A gentle breeze of cool air blew outward as the door slid open. A sudden high-pitched barking emanated from the apartment, as Ranma’s eyes were drawn downward by-

What.

At Ranma’s feet was, not a dog, but a small animate pumpkin, its face open in a jack-o-lantern. It’s tiny legs gently thumped at the floor as it ran circles around the two.

“Uh… hi, pooch?”

Lapis smiled as she reached down, scratching the gourd’s stem with a rough scritch-scritch noise. “This is Pumpkin Junior Junior. She’s a sweetheart.”

Ranma hummed. “Still not the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen.” She kneeled down, petting the vegetable dog. “Gooooood pumpkin pooch.”

Rising to her feet, Ranma stepped inside. She slid her shoes off at the entrance as she looked around, her eyes wide. Lapis’s apartment/studio was filled with varying sculptures in more styles than Ranma could name, which admittedly wasn’t many. Across the room was a pair of glass doors leading to a balcony.

Tucked under a green canvas hammock stretched between two corners sat a diorama consisting of a set of plastic action figures dressed in camper outfits. One of them had been hung by the neck via a tiny noose. A small placard labeled the diorama as “RIP In Peace Paulette – Peridot, Plastic and String”.

On the wall adjacent to the front door was a large steel door with multiple complicated locks. A sign was stuck to it, labeled “PERIDOT’S EVIL LAB/GREENHOUSE/BEDROOM – PLEASE KNOCK.”

Next to the door, a large cardboard box was filled with broken pieces of what appeared to be toilets, with a ziplock bag containing a shredded leaf lying on top. This one was labeled “Oops – Lapis, Plant Matter and Ceramic, Gravity.”

Displayed in a place of prominence on a table was one of those art kits you saw in hobby stores, the paints depleted, the crayons and colored pencils worn down to the nubs.

One wall was literally covered in canvases, each depicting a paint spectrum from smears to smudges to splatters. In the only clear spot, a hole that had been broken in the wall was framed, with the placard reading “Reaction to CPH Season 5 Finale – Peridot, Fist on Drywall.” Just beyond the wall was a set of stairs leading to a loft bedroom.

And in the center, next to a surprisingly lifelike life-sized stuffed pink lion, was a platform containing Lapis’s current piece: a marble sculpture, apparently depicting a muscular Quartz. The head was missing, a chisel wedged deeply into the neck. A sticky note attached to the butt read “Working Title: Fuck.”

Ranma was about to ask about the statue, when the stuffed pink lion raised its head and yawned.

Ranma stiffened. “Buh… lion?”

“Oh yeah, that’s Lion. He’s Steven and Connie’s joint pet. Actually…” Lapis paused, before calling out “Hey Steven, we’re back! Where are you?”

Steven’s voice, muffled behind a door with a CONDEMNED sign hanging on it, called out. “In the bathroom! I’ll be right out!”

Ranma knelt down in front of the Lion, fascinated.

Why aren’t I panicking? This is just a huge (REDACTED), just even more of an apex predator.

As if picking up on her confusion, Lapis glanced over to Ranma. “You okay? I know humans get twitchy around big cats.”

Ranma stifled a shudder. “Nah, it’s cool. I’m actually surprised how well I’m doing, I’ve got this thing about c-c-ca-c-c…f-felines. It’s a phobia.” She reached out, gently stroking Lion’s nose. “This guy seems okay, though.”

Lapis shrugged. “Maybe it’s just a housecat thing?”

“Maybe.” Ranma’s hand crept up Lion’s snout, scratching him behind the ear. Ranma could feel his mane tickling the back of her hand. “Hey, big guy.”

Lion yawned again, displaying a truly impressive set of chompers, before lying back down and apparently going back to sleep.

Lapis knelt down on her knees next to Ranma, before falling forward, burying her face in Lion’s mane with an audible pomf sound. She slowly relaxed, sighing contently into the mass of fur.

Ranma chuckled. “You look comfy.”

Though her voice was muffled, Ranma could her the smile in Lapis’s voice. “You gotta try this, dude. It’s like nuzzling a puppy but a gazillion times better.”

Ranma blinked.

It’s an actual literal lion.

Oh, what the hell. You’ve fought a demigod to a standstill, this is nothing.

Ranma shuffled to the right a few feet, targeting Lion’s side rather than his mane. She gently laid down against the technicolor apex predator, settling in against his side.

Lion was warm, and soft, and there was a comfortingly powerful strength under all the fur.

Ranma sighed, rubbing her face into his side. “Oh man, I could fall asleep like this.”

The sound of a toilet flushing broke the silence, as Steven exited the bathroom, a cloth drying his hands. He giggled that musical Oh-Ho-Ho-Ho of his as he saw the two. “Addicting, isn’t it?”

Ranma waved a single lazy hand. “Heya Steve-O. I’m boutta take a nap for a few years, wake me up for meals.”

Pumpkin Junior Junior toddled over next to Lapis, snuggling up next to her owner’s legs. Lapis rolled onto her side the other way, her face emerging from Lion’s neck floof. She extended a pair of grabby hands toward Steven. “Get in here, nerd.”

Pausing only to give a quick hug to Lapis, Steven stepped over Lion, sitting down with his back against Lapis’s work platform. Lion adjusted himself, laying his enormous head in Steven’s lap. Steven inserted a single bent finger into Lion’s ear, knuckle first, rubbing gently at Lion’s inner ear. Lion sighed, pressing himself further into Steven’s lap.

Ranma chuckled. “Aw, he likes that.” She slid her hand under a paw, giving Lion’s rough pawpads a few experimental squeezes. “So how’d this guy wind up pink, anyway?”

Steven made a somewhat resigned face. “D’you want the long version or the short version?”

“Surprise me.”

“It’s one of the Gem powers I got from my mom. If I cry on something or someone that’s just died, they come back. And turn pink, I guess.”

“Huh. Neat. Is that related to the healing spit Amethyst told me about?”

Steven blinked. “Uh… yeah, actually. One comes from the other, as far as I know. Sorry, you’re okay with this?”

Ranma shrugged. “Should I not be?”

“I mean, I’m glad you are, it’s just… you’ve been super chill about, like, everything you’ve seen since you’ve moved here.”

Ranma adjusted her position, leaning back against Lion, her hands behind her head. She stared at the ceiling. “Hey, Earth made official First Contact a few years ago, and my life was already weird before that. Not much freaks me out anymore.”

Lapis propped her chin on her hand, her elbow on top of Lion. “You mean your curse thing?”

Ranma shook her head. “Nah, it’s nothing. Forget I said anything.”

Steven and Lapis shared a glance. Lapis silently jerked her head toward Ranma, an eyebrow raised. Steven nodded back, an unspoken agreement having passed between them.

Lapis broke the silence first. “Ranma? Do you want to talk about it?”

Ranma’s heart sank. She knew exactly where this conversation was going. She’d been dreading it ever since her tantrum on the beach, when she realized just how empathetic Steven really was. “Guys, I’m fine. You don’t need to hear all this. Besides, I already dumped all this on Sadie and Shep, I’m sure they told you.”

Steven shook his head. “No. They didn’t offer, and I didn’t ask. It wasn’t my business unless you wanted to talk about it.”

Ranma felt like the entire world shifted under her.

Oh.

In an instant, she realized just how long it had been since she had any modicum of privacy, much less people willing to respect it. Between ten years on the road with Pops, and the constant deluge of garbage in Nerima… Ranma hadn’t had a moment to herself until she had left, last November.

Unbidden, another memory rose to the surface.

“Nabiki, I told you, this isn’t your business.”

Nabiki shook her head, clicking her tongue condescendingly. “Ranma, you should know by now. Your business gets the privilege of being my business, or my business becomes the cash everyone else will give me to learn your business.”

Nabiki dramatically tossed a manila folder onto her desk. A selection of polaroids scattered out of it, all depicting Girl Mode Ranma in varying scanty outfits with an obviously forced level of enjoyment. “Now, do you want to pay me what you owe me, or do you want these pictures to find their way into your mom’s mailbox? It’d be hilarious to watch you try and justify this to her.”

Ranma growled. Those pictures had been taken as a means of squaring some of this very debt Nabiki had him trapped in. Now she had turned it around, using it to financially entrap him further. “Fine. I’ll pay what I owe.”

Nabiki winced. “Ooh, I’m sorry, but you dithered too long. Now there’s an extra zero on the end of the price tag.”

Ranma’s eyes widened. “Wh-“

“Should have thought quicker, Saotome. But don’t worry, I’ll set you up with a nice payment plan. Maybe we can wipe away some of this debt with another photo session?” Nabiki smiled like a shark staring down a bleeding fish.

Ranma glared daggers at her. “Nabiki, how do you sleep at night?”

“Butt naked, on silk sheets, rolling in cash. Do we have a deal?”

“Ranma?” came Steven’s concerned voice.

Ranma blinked. “Sorry, sorry. I was just remembering something. I…”

What could it hurt to talk to them? It felt good to get it off your chest to Sadie and Shep, right?

“…No. You guys barely even know me.”

Lapis shrugged. “Well… maybe that’s the best reason to talk to us.”

At Ranma’s quizzical look, Lapis continued. “Sometimes talking to friends helps, but Steven told me once it can also help to talk to someone unattached to the situation. We’re kinda on the verge of both, so…?”

Ranma hummed. That actually made sense. Still… “No. Yeah, it bothers me, but one bothered person is better than three bothered people. It’s basic law of numbers, y’know?”

From Steven this time: “Ranma, we’re not gonna force you if you don’t want to. Just know that we’re here if you do. I know more than anyone how much it hurts to carry that weight inside you. You feel alone? Like your chest hurts?”

Ranma’s silence spoke volumes.

Steven reached over, gently laying a hand on Ranma’s shoulder. “You’re our friend, Ranma. We’re here.”

After a long, pregnant pause, Ranma whispered hoarsely: “Give me a minute.”

Steven nodded, lying back. Lapis continued to look at Ranma, concern in her eyes, but didn’t say anything.

Steven thought back, his thumb unconsciously rubbing his wrist. After everything that had happened a year ago, with Little Homeschool and the Pink Incidents and everything, Steven had caved and sought therapy, at the worried advice of pretty much everyone in his life.

He had bounced back and forth between sessions with Doctor Mendelev, in Ocean Town, and Doctor Sodalite, whose office was right here in the Barn, in Little Homeworld.

The twin sessions had helped a lot. Now, though he still loved to listen to people, he knew not to try to Solve It unless they asked him for help. He had learned to say No, to back off and give himself space if he needed it.

Now, he could see shades of something similar in Ranma. It was true, they didn’t know each other that well yet, but he could always tell if he was going to be friends with someone or not.

Steven’s reverie was broken by Ranma’s voice. “Lapis, weird question. I know you and Peridot are best friends. Were you ever anything… more than that?”

Lapis was quiet. This was a sore topic, for both her and Peri. “Like… exes or something?”

Ranma gave a half-shrug, still not meeting either of their eyes. “Sure.”

Lapis sighed, running her hand along Pumpkin Junior Junior’s topside. “Kind of? We never dated or anything like that, but… we could have? I think we were close to it, once. We’re ex-possibilities. Ex-could-have-beens.”

Ranma sniffed. After a pause, she spoke. Her voice wavered ever so slightly. “I had a fiancée once.”

From Steven: “Really? You’re pretty young.”

Ranma nodded, her braid rustling against Lion’s fur. “It was a whole thing. My Pops, her Dad. They kinda shoved us into it. It was an Honor thing.” Ranma said the word mockingly, the word clearly having a bad history with her.

“Her name was Akane. We had some… interesting times.” Ranma sighed. “I’m tellin’ this all wrong. Lemme start over.”

Steven nodded. “Take your time. We’re here.”

Ranma took a deep breath, and started again. “Until last November, my life was… stressful. Actually, stressful is prolly the eighth word I’d use to describe my life. My Pops was what you’d call a con artist, I guess, and to get into people’s good books, he’d auction Kid Ranma off for arranged marriages, stuff like that.”

Steven’s eyes widened. “Holy Gosh.”

Lapis, meanwhile, looked confused. “Sorry, am I missing something? Is that bad?”

Steven nodded. “Yeah, Lapis, by human standards that’s super bad. Remember, we aren’t fully formed mentally when we’re young.”

“Oh.” Lapis blinked, the gears almost audibly clicking in her mind. “Ohhhhh.”

Ranma nodded. “Yeah. Oh. So by the time me n’ Pops got to Nerima, I’d been promised into about half a dozen future marriages and been dragged off halfway through a dozen more after Pops got his hands on the dowry.”

Steven inhaled through his teeth. “Yikes. Your Dad seems awful.”

Ranma shrugged nonchalantly. “I mean, all Dads are. Your Dad makes you live in a van with him by the carwash.”

“No he doesn’t!” Steven interjected, more than a little indignantly.

Ranma turned to face him. “What do you mean, he doesn’t? I’ve seen you with him, hanging out in the back of his van. He’s your Dad, you live with him, he lives in a van, you live in a van. That’s what Dads do.”

Steven took a second to reign in his irritation at the accusations against his Dad. This wasn’t the time. “Okay, first, no. My Dad is a great guy, he would never do that. I know that because second, I don’t live with him, I’ve lived with the Gems since I was eleven. They all agreed on it, since I was coming into my Gem powers and all that.”

Ranma raised an incredulous hand. “Wait, wait, time out. Your Dad doesn’t make you live in his van?”

“Yeah, I live in the Beach House on the end of the beach. The one with the gigantic temple behind it?”

“You live there? I thought that was some rich guy’s summer home.”

Steven chuckled, but pressed on. “But yeah, Dad knew that a van was no place for me to grow up in, so he had the Gems take me in. He's tried to make sure I always have whatever I need when he can. He's kinda my hero."

Ranma blinked. “…You lost me.”

Lapis whistled, soft enough to not be shrill, but loud enough to get their attention. “We’re getting off topic. Don’t think I don’t see what you’re doin’, Ranma.”

Ranma chuckled, raising her hands. “Alright, ya got me.”

“Ranma, in all seriousness, if you don’t want to talk about it-“

Ranma shook her head. “No, I… I do. I do want to talk about it. I do. Sorry it’s just… your Dad is the literal opposite of my Dad and it’s freakin’ me the heck out.”

She paused, regathering her thoughts. “So yeah. My Dad would make a mess, and I’d have to clean it up years down the line.”

Steven snorted. “That sounds familiar…” he grumbled, mostly to himself.

Ranma continued. “For most of my time in Nerima, I had like, 3 or 4 engagements and at least 4 blood feuds out for my head. Sometimes both from the same person. On the blood feud side of things, Ryoga was probably the worst. He used to be my best bud, until I got the last piece of bread he wanted from the school commissary one too many times and he took offense.”

Lapis gawked. “He wanted to kill you over that?”

Ranma threw her hands in the air. “The dude was so freaking high-strung! Not to mention a pervert! He’d tell me I had no honor, but he’d use his curse- by the way, he had a curse too, he’d turn into a micropig- he’d use his curse to cuddle up with my fiancée in her bed at night!”

Steven wrinkled his nose. “That’s just evil.”

“I know! Then there were Shampoo and Mousse, and yes, those were their actual names. Some kinda Amazon tribe naming convention, I dunno. Long story short, I beat Shampoo in two fights, once in each form, before she knew I was the same person. Apparently that violated some tribal law, because she swore to murder Girl Mode Me, and marry Guy Mode Me! She dropped the murder plan after she found out the truth about me, but she still decided that I was her husband, not that I had any say in the matter! Mousse, meanwhile, he had a crush on Shampoo, and blamed me for stealing her, so I’d get attacked by him half the time too!

“Oh, and don’t let me forget the Kunos! They were legit lunatics! I mean it, they are certifiably not well! The Kunos were a brother and sister, Tatewaki and Kodachi, and each one wanted to marry one of my Modes and kill the other. Worst part was, neither of them ever even met my Pops. They just kinda invited themselves into the fiancée party, because why not!

“And my mom, oh, my freaking mom. She had this deranged obsession with me being a Man Among Men. Those three words, Man Among Men, it was like a religion for her! She wouldn’t shut up about it! She had a whole failsafe system set up to make sure I became a Man Among Men, but I’m gonna be blunt, I really don’t think I can talk about that right now!

Ranma’s hands twitched in front of her as the words spilled out, as if now that the dam had broken, Ranma was unable to stop the flow.

“There were a couple of people in Nerima that helped the best they could, but it was never, ever enough. I couldn’t even get away from it at home, because as soon as I got home, Pops and Mr. Tendo would start hooting and hollering at me to Unite The Schools, Boy! Because, like I said…” Ranma took a deep breath, gathering herself as she came back down from her rant high. “I was engaged to Mr. Tendo’s daughter. Akane.”

Ranma finally fell silent. Pumpkin Junior Junior gave a sympathetic whine. Steven and Lapis shared a look, barely able to wrap their heads around Ranma’s cavalcade of troubles. At least seven people, all demanding a cut of Ranma for their own gains? It was horrible to think about.

After a long, long pause, Ranma continued. “Akane was… the best of them? The worst? I honestly don’t know anymore. There were times that we got along okay. We’d crack jokes, we’d fight with each other instead of with each other. We had some good times together, ‘Kane and I. But…”

Ranma trailed off. Lapis, barely realizing she was doing it, snaked a hand forward, carefully interlacing her pinkie finger around Ranma’s, their hands sitting on the floor at Ranma’s side.

Ranma continued. “There were other times… a lot of times, actually… okay, most times, that she just seemed to legit hate me. She’d mock me or my curse, she’d blame me for everything. If I wouldn’t spar with her she’d get mad, if I did but held back she’d get mad, and the one time I didn’t hold back, she got really mad at me for hitting a girl. She’d get mad if I spoke to someone else for too long, guy or girl. She’d walk in on me in the bath, and I’d get punched for it.”

Steven considered his words very carefully before saying them. “Ranma… I don’t mean to tell you your business, but… that’s abuse. That’s just straight-up abuse.”

Ranma nodded. “Oh, I knew. I knew for ages, but I held on. Hope, I guess? That things would get better?” She shook her head. “Stupid. But it seemed like it was working for a while. She’d get kidnapped by someone seeking vengeance on me, I’d have to rescue her because she’d get filled with a murder rage if you underestimated her as a martial artist, not that that stopped her from getting kidnapped and unable to escape every five damn minutes.

“I think… I think I actually loved her once. Or maybe I just thought I did. Or maybe it was just residual from when we first met. She met me in Girl Mode like an hour before finding out about the curse, and I guess she saw it as me lying to her or something? It’s like, once she learned about the curse, she decided that I must be some kind of sexual predator waiting to strike. Or maybe it was just solidarity or somethin’, how we were both in this stupid marriage situation.

“But either way, the good parts were just good enough to make the bad parts seem worth it, so I figured, maybe this is just what love and life is. Maybe if I just keep on keeping on, there will eventually be more good parts than bad parts. Like… like patches, y’know? A hole gets busted into a wall, it’s easier and quicker to just patch over it then to take the time to fix it, and eventually you’ve got more patches than wall.

“So I kept holding out, and after a while, I thought it had… worked. There was this whole thing in China, I fought a demigod named Saffron, long story-“

(“As one does,” Steven and Lapis thought in unison.)

“-and after we got home, Akane and I seemed to actually reach an understanding. We could actually hold a conversation together without yelling. We even kissed a few times. We actually scheduled a wedding. And… it went badly.” Ranma chuckled. “It’s kinda funny now. Literally everyone in Nerima crashed the wedding, because Akane’s sister Nabiki told everyone in exchange for cash. So everyone showed up to either murder me on my Wedding day, or replace Akane like the wedding had been for them all along. It was like the ultimate punchline, or a rushed gag ending to an overly long manga. And then…”

Ranma’s voice grew shaky, her eyes moistening. “Everything just… went back to how it was. Akane went right back to the insults, the on-purpose misinterpreting of everything, the digging to start fights. I once asked if she wanted to try for the wedding again, and…”

Akane’s short hair twirled as her head spun around to glare over her shoulder. Her fists were clenched, her eyes somewhere between rage and offense.

“Why the actual Hell would I want to be married to a perverted waste of skin like you?!!?”

Ranma inhaled through her nostrils. “It was like none of it ever happened. All the progress we’d made, just Blip! Gone.”

Lapis’s hand crept further forward, interlacing Ranma’s with her own. Ranma clenched her hand tightly, like a life-saving rope thrown to her at sea.

“The others got worse too. Kodachi and Shampoo and everyone else, they just started attacking and ambushing me more often, more vicious. I guess they realized I almost slipped through their fingers.

“It just kept getting worse, people wanting me to die for their honor, or marry me for their honor, or be a Man Among Men for the family honor, and honor honor honor honor, manly manly manly manly. It was maddening. All I could think about was getting out, getting anywhere. So one day, I decided…Fuck it. So I left. I left my fiancée behind and I came here. Not even a goodbye. And here I am.”

Ranma took a deep, long inhale and exhale. A few tears dripped from her eyes, trickling down her cheeks as she steadfastly refused to make eye contact with Steven or Lapis.

Steven shook his head in amazement. “Wow… that’s a lot, Ranma. I… I’m so sorry.”

Lapis squeezed Ranma’s hand comfortingly. “You said you had some people in your life who tried to help. What about them?”

Ranma chuckled. “I can count ‘em on one hand. Akane’s big sister Kasumi was nice, but more in a ‘didn’t-actively-make-things-worse’ sense. To be honest, she was kind of a… what’s the word, a milquetoast? Doc Tofu was nice too, but he moved away a few months after I moved to Nerima. Can’t say I blame him, he smelled trouble and skedaddled while the gettin’ was good. But…”

A genuine smile crossed Ranma’s face. Her voice cracked slightly as she continued. “Ukyo was always there for me. He was my best bud when I was a little kid, and we reconnected later on. He used to be part of the fiancé problem, but... well, I kinda stonewalled him after the wedding incident. I was in a real bad place, mentally. Short version, we had it out, he apologized, and we buried the hatchet. He and his assistant, Konatsu, actually helped me get out of Nerima at the end there. I wouldn’t be here without them.” Ranma gave a small exhale of a laugh. “Ucchan was the one good thing to come out of that mess. I hope he’s doing okay.”

Steven smiled. “That’s good! Ukyo seems nice.”

Ranma smiled, a genuine smile. “You’d like him, Steven. He’s an amazing chef, too.”

Lapis sidled closer to Ranma. “Do you want a hug?”

“No.” A pause. “Yes. Please.”

Lapis gently removed her hand from Ranma’s, wrapping her arms around the redhead. Ranma allowed herself to be pulled close, still sniffling softly as the occasional tear dripped from her eyes. She felt Steven’s hand on her shoulder again, felt Lion under her back.

I feel safe, she realized. I have never felt this safe in my life.

She snaked her arms awkwardly around Lapis, giving her a gentle squeeze back, before leaning away from the hug. She smiled at the two of them. “Thank you, guys. This actually helped a lot.”

Steven and Lapis both smiled at her. “Anytime,” Lapis responded.

“You can come over to my house next time, and I’ll infodump about my life to you,” Steven added with a grin.

Ranma snorted a wet laugh. “You’re on. I already know bits and pieces from the brochures and from conversations. Your mom, the Diamonds… honestly, dude, I think you’ve got me beat in the trauma department.”

Lapis, grinning hugely, reached over and gave Steven a light noogie. “No fair! I was trapped in a mirrorrrrrrrrrr!” She moaned dramatically.

Ranma, still laughing, placed her hand facedown on Lion’s side. “Trauma buds?”

Steven and Lapis placed their hands on hers. “Trauma Buds.” They echoed.

Ranma sighed, faceplanting onto Lion’s side again. “Wow, that took a lot outta me.”

Lapis yawned, snuggling back closer into Lion’s mane. “I dunno about you guys, but I’m super comfy.”

Lion grumbled, shifting his head further into Steven’s lap. Steven grunted at the weight, before running his hand over Lion’s neck.

After a moment, he spoke. “Y’know, I really did mean it, Ranma. I’d love for you to come over and hang out sometime soon. What do you think?”

There was a silence.

“Ranma?”

A gentle, rhythmic breathing came from the other side of the pink lion between them.

Craning his neck, Steven saw Ranma, her face buried in Lion’s fur, her eyes closed. Next to her, Lapis, snoring in that nasal way she did. The two faced each other, snoring softly.

He smiled. They clearly adored each other. It’d be nice for Lapis to find someone, especially if it helped her get rid of some of her guilt involving the whole Barn-Stealing incident a few years prior. Ranma… was clearly desperate for companionship. Steven was just glad to be able to provide a halfway decent friendship.

He carefully fished his phone from his pocket, snapping a group selfie and sending it to Connie. He snuggled in, getting comfortable, feeling his eyelids grow heavy.

Within minutes, all three of them were sound asleep, Lion’s comfortable strength and weight lulling them into a deep slumber.

Between the two of them, Ranma and Lapis’s hands remained close, their fingertips just barely daring to touch.

Time passed.

The sunbeams slowly moved down the wall of Lapis’s studio, growing more and more orange the lower they got.

Ranma, Lapis, Steven, and Lion remained where they were, snoozing peacefully.

Until.

The door to Peridot’s Lab was flung open with a loud KA-BANG. A familiar voice yelled: “HEY, LAPIS! WAKE UP! YOU GOTTA SEE THIS!”

Ranma jumped several feet in the air, before landing on her feet, eyes wide, fists at the ready. Drool was stuck to her chin. Still half in her dream: “Whuzzit?! Have they come to steal my eyes?!!?”

Steven flinched awake, bonking his head on Lapis’s platform. “OW! What-“ he winced, clutching his legs. “Ooooh, that prickles. Legs asleep. Wake up, legs. Lion, it’s time to get off Steven’s legs.”

Lapis calmly stretched awake, yawning. “Oh, hey Peridot. What’s up?”

Amethyst tromped out behind Peridot, wrapping an arm around her girlfriend. “You guys were adorable. Did you have a good nap?”

Ranma, now back to full wakefulness, frowned as she glanced at the time. “Wait. Were you guys in that room this whole time?”

Amethyst nodded, eyes rolling good-naturedly. “Uh, yeah. Of course.”

“What were you doing in there for four and a half hours?”

Peridot scoffed. “Uh, making out. Duh.”

Amethyst snapped her fingers dramatically as Peridot brandished her boots with a jingle. “And compiling these babies!” Attached to the bottoms of Peridot’s boots were what appeared to be a pair of metal stirrups, looping around the top, front, and heels.

Steven eased himself out from under Lion’s head and to his feet, wincing as the circulation returned. Lapis stood up, stretching herself out. “Bitchin.’ What’s it for?”

Peridot’s hand gestured dramatically to her chest, falling into her usual Ostentatious Inventor mode. “My hover-trash-can-lid, while excellent for the air-surfing aesthetic, has fallen out of touch with today’s modern society. It’s time for an upgrade!” She kicked up her heels, the stirrups jingling. “With these and my metal powers, I’ll be able to literally walk on air like if it were the ground beneath your primitive pedis!”

Ranma blinked rapidly. She had understood maybe half of the words coming rapidfire out of Peridot’s mouth. “What is this I don’t even.”

Peridot practically skipped to the opposite wall, throwing open the glass doors to the balcony. She hopped onto the railing, her arms wide at her sides. Amethyst strolled leisurely outside after her, as everyone else followed.

Ranma leaned close to Steven’s ear. “What is she doing?” She hissed.

“Her best.” Steven answered with a resigned smile.

Peridot struck a pose. “Behold! The future of transportation!” She stepped slowly out into midair. Her boot sank just briefly, before seeming to catch on something and staying where it was. Peridot grinned, following with her other boot. She took one step, then another, then another, suspended twelve stories up. Her boots wobbled as she slowly turned.

Amethyst cheered. “Doing great, Peri! How does it feel?”

Peridot pinwheeled her arms for balance. “It feels like I’m walking on a murdered tree, floating down an ocean tributary…”

With a high-pitched squeak, Peridot fell forward, pivoting 180 degrees, dangling upside down by one boot, her other leg straight in front of her.

Swaying back and forth, suspended from one boot, Peridot quickly recomposed herself. “You see?! These boot enhancers are the height of ingenuity! I cannot fall! It is an impossibility!”

As if on cue, Peridot’s foot slipped out of her boot.

Ranma, Lapis, Steven, and Amethyst watched as Peridot fell, her boot remaining hung in the air. “SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…” Peridot shouted as she fell twelve stories.

With a distant thump, Peridot landed spread-eagled on the pavilion ground, cratering the concrete around her.

Ranma blinked. “Did she just yell the word ‘Scree’?”

Lapis nodded. “Yyyyyerp.”

Amethyst sighed dreamily. “She’s so effing valid.”

“Is she okay? Should we go check on her?”

A shrug from Lapis. “Peridots are tougher than they look.”

As if to drive the point home, Peridot’s airborne boot finally lost its grip on nothingness, plummeting to Earth. Once again, the four on the balcony tracked it as it fell.

Thump.

In the distance: “Ow.”

Amethyst chuckled. “Welp, guess I better go get her.”

Steven sighed. “I’ll come with, I’m about People’d out anyway.”

Ranma raised a hand. “Wait, wait, that’s it? Shouldn’t we go check and see if Peri is okay?!”

Amethyst waved a hand. “Dude, this is the fourth time she’s fallen from that balcony this month. She’ll be fine. Peri’s like an angry little green version of one of those airplane black boxes.”

Steven chuckled. “Remind me to tell you about the Road Runner Gem. That was a hoot and a half. But yeah, I’m gonna head home. Later, guys!”

As Steven set about the task of waking Lion, Ranma paused.

Guys.

Steven hadn’t meant anything by it. But still.

Guys.

Dude.

Bro.

Words. Words that meant nothing.

And yet.

Don’t. Don’t be a bother. It’s just words. They didn’t even mean anything by them.

But she had felt so… safe. Safe around people. What a concept.

Sometimes good things didn’t outweigh bad things.

But this safety…

Not for the first time, she thought back to her meltdown in the Gem Gym bathroom, her panic attack on the Beach, her manic drenching of herself in a tiny train bathroom, countless miles and an eternity ago.

Be Brave. You’ve come this far. Even if it’s just an experiment. It’s time to be brave.

“Hey, actually? Can I talk to you guys for a second?”

Steven stopped in the middle of straightening his jacket. Amethyst turned at the door. Lapis paused, giving her a glance.

Something in Ranma’s eyes made Steven pause.

“Sure, Ranma. What’s up?”

Ranma ‘s thumb was rubbing her other hand incessantly. Her eyes seemed to focus on something on the wall past Steven’s eyeline. “Uh… weird question… how many people have you told about my curse?”

Steven shook his head. “None that you weren’t there for.”

Ranma nodded. “Okay, okay, cool. So how many people is that?”

Steven counted on his fingers. “Me, Connie and Sadie on the Beach, and Amethyst and Lapis. So just us five.”

Ranma nodded again, slightly more jerkily. “Okay, okay, cool, cool, okay, cool.”

Lapis cocked an eyebrow. “Ranma? Are you okay?”

“Y-yeah, yeah, I just…” Ranma took a deep, deep breath.

“When you talk about me to someone who doesn’t know about the curse… what… what pronouns do you use?”

Steven blinked. Oh. Oh my.

Lapis and Amethyst shared a wide-eyed glance. Was this actually happening??

Steven smiled. “On the beach, you told me that you preferred to be known as a guy, so if I have to use pronouns, I’ve been using He/Him. Would you prefer if I used different ones?”

Ranma froze.

Wait, that’s it? Just that easy?

Ranma slowly found her voice again, words creaking forth. “Um… yeah, actually, if you guys don’t mind.”

Steven nodded. “Sure! What pronouns would you prefer?”

Ranma felt her face growing red. “Uh… I honestly don’t know? It’s just… He/Him doesn’t feel right. And… I don’t think it ever has.”

Steven smiled widely, glancing over at Lapis and Amethyst before returning his gaze to Ranma. “Of course! Would you prefer She/Her?”

Ranma thought on it for a moment. “Try it.”

Steven grinned, pretending to speak to someone. “Oh, you need to meet Ranma! She’s super cool, she runs the Dojo at Little Homeschool, she’s a practicing martial artist…”

Ranma staggered. Her heart was pounding. She had referred to herself as that pronoun mentally before, but mainly as a convenience thing to differentiate between Boy Mode and Girl Mode.

She felt the corners of her mouth tug upward. What was happening? What was happening?! Was she dying?!

She felt Lapis’s hands on her shoulders and back. “Easy, easy.”

Steven jogged over, looking apologetic. “I’m sorry! Was that too much?”

Ranma nodded, breathing heavily. “Y-yeah. Lil’ bit. S-sorry.”

From Amethyst this time: “Hey, it’s okay! What about They/Them?”

Her hyperventilating beginning to slow, Ranma paused, before nodding. “Try it.”

At her side, Lapis spoke. “Ranma ‘s the best! They’re super strong and talented, they’re graceful when they do their kata, they have really good taste in pants…”

The last compliment was so unexpected, Ranma sputtered into a cackle. “Pants?! That’s what you came up with, pants?!!?”

Lapis shrugged with a grin. “It’s true! We both have this monk pants thing going!”

Steven and Amethyst smiled. Steven offered a tentative thumbs-up. “How did that feel? Would you like us to use They/Them pronouns for you?”

Ranma paused, a smile creeping onto her face. They juggled the word around in their head for a few moments.

“Well, it’s better than He/Him, but it still feels kinda iffy... I do kinda like it, though. Ranma Saotome, They Among Thems.” They caught Steven’s eye and added “I did like how She/Her felt, so I kinda want to give that a shot too. Maybe switch it up every now and then? As long as it’s not He/Him, I think I’m good.”

Steven beamed. “Done.”

Before they could stop themselves, Ranma stretched their arms wide and swept all three of them into an enormous hug.

“Thanks, you guys. Thank you.”

It was a few hours later, Ranma sipping gently at a mug of hot tea on her  balcony of their apartment, the sun sinking below the distant hills, that she realized they had left her sandals in Lapis’s apartment.

Crud. Now I gotta go all the way back up there an’ get ‘em.

It had been bound to happen. She had never lived in an apartment before. They were typically used to removing shoes at the entrance of the building, rather than a specific room. Add that to the beautifully deep carpets in the floors of this building, deep enough to lose your feet it, and it had been legitimate hours before they realized what was missing.

And then, as if on divine cue:

A familiar voice called out. “Forget something?”

Ranma glanced up, already smiling at the voice.

Lapis came hovering down, held aloft by her wings, one hand on her hip, a cocky smirk on her face.

Ranma’s sandals dangled gently from her other hand.

Ranma chuckled lightly. “What would you have done if I wasn’t home?”

“Either left ‘em on the balcony or broke the window. I’d decide in the moment.”

As Ranma laughed, Lapis descended toward her balcony. As her wings vanished, she stepped lightly on the railing with a single foot, smoothly hopping down onto the balcony proper.

Ranma gestured to their tea set, procured from a specialty shop right in Beach City. “Want a mug of tea?”

Lapis thought it over, with a shrug. “Not really a tea drinker. I’ll take the bag, though, if you’re done with it.”

Ranma plucked the tea bag from the pot with their fingertips, offering the dripping item toward Lapis. “You Gems and your weird-ass food palates.”

Lapis shrugged, taking the tea bag. “Amethyst got me into these.” She popped the tea bag into her mouth, sucked on it for a moment as she plopped onto the opposite cushion, then swallowed.

Ranma adjusted their seating, fluffing their cushion under them. “Crazy day, huh?”

Lapis gave a noncommittal hum.

“How’s Peridot?”

“Oh, she’s fine. She takes falls like a champ.”

Ranma nodded. “Cool, cool.”

The two fell silent, staring off into the distance as the sun set. Somewhere nearby, a cicada began to sing.

Eventually, Ranma spoke. “Want to hang out for a bit?”

Lapis smiled. “I’ve got a few minutes.”

A few minutes slowly became a few hours. The conversation continued, as the sun slowly vanished, as the lights lighting the pavilion below turned on, as the world turned toward slumber.

Chapter Text

July

Little Homeworld

Lapis’s Apartment/Studio

“And that’s the thing: she’s just so graceful! That’s what gets me, I’ve literally never seen anyone move with the grace Ranma has, except maybe Pearl! You saw her kata, up on the roof, you know what I’m talking about, right?”

“Mhmm.” Bismuth nodded, a small smile on her face, carefully carving at the block of wood in her hands.

“Exactly!” Lapis exclaimed, lying on her back on her art platform, gesticulating wildly with her hands. “That, that, that fluidity of motion! And trust me, I know fluidity! It takes practice to get a physical body to work like that, and she just does it! Like it’s nothing!”

“Mhmm.” Lapis had been infodumping like this for a solid forty-five minutes. Today.

At Bismuth’s right, leaning against the wall, Peridot was tapping away at her modified tablet. Her mouth was in scrunch-mode today, which usually meant she was trying to solve a particularly irritating problem.

A pair of water hands formed between Lapis and the ground, effortlessly pushing her onto her feet. She began to pace, having not interrupted her Ranma-Rant (Rantma?) for even a second.

“But the really cool thing about her is that she’s so brave! Like, with that whole curse thing, she’s probably used to even more weird stuff than that Gender Garbage humans came up with. But she just asked to use different pronouns! She’s been one way for decades, and she just asked to change it, and Bam! There she was! It was like legit magic!”

Bismuth sighed good-naturedly, looking up from her whittling. “Laz, don’t take this the wrong way, but this kinda rambling is the sort of stuff I’d expect from Peridot.”

Peridot snorted. “Don’t remind me.”

Lapis smirked. “You’re one to talk, Ms. Can’t-Spit-It-Out-To-Pearl.”

Bismuth pointed a disciplinary finger. “You hush. That’s not your business. Pearl’s got her own thing now, I told you.”

Peridot gave Lapis a mischievous look. “Her own thing? Is that why you’ve been working on those gift Spear schematics for, what, two years now?”

Bismuth blushed a beet red. “Sh… Shut Up!” She returned to her whittling with a renewed vigor as Lapis and Peridot laughed.

“And that’s the thing: she’s so buff, Connie! Like, I know it’s probably a Gem thing and she doesn’t even have to work out, but My Stars! You could grate cheese on her abs!”

“Coooool.” Connie replied, adjusting the shoulder strap of her bag. Next to her, Ranma flung their arms back and forth, immersed in her retelling of everything that had been happening with her favorite Gem. The motions were very reminiscent to those of a character in an anime Connie was fond of, an excitable fellow with engines in his legs.

Ranma continued with “And apparently she can fly?! I had no idea! She’s got wings made of water! How light do you have to be to fly on water wings?”

“She is a Gem, Ranma. Their bodies are literally made of hard light.”

“I don’t know what that means, but that’s just freaking wild! And she’s an artist too, did you know that?”

Connie smiled good-naturedly. “I did, actually. What kind of stuff did she have in her studio when you were there?”

“Oh, Connie, it was so cool…”

Connie chuckled quietly at yet another Lapis Lazuli-related subject shift. Padding along behind the two of them, Lion yawned, the only disinterested party.

Above them, a flock of gulls squawked a chorus as they moved from one side of the peninsula to the other. The hot July sun bore down on Beach City, Ranma having made the rare swap from one of her Chinese shirts to a simple t-shirt and shorts.

Ranma suddenly paused mid-ramble. “Oh, hey, forgot to mention. Sorry for makin’ ya walk to Steven’s from Little Homeworld. I know you can just teleport there on Lion.”

Connie smiled. “It’s okay, I promise! I know you get sick Warping, and it’s a nice day out anyway.”

“You can go on ahead if ya want, I know where the place is.”

“No way, I want to walk with you!”

Ranma smiled. She was clearly touched by the statement. “Thanks, Con.”

Suddenly, from above, there was a sound like an airplane roaring through a school gymnasium, a loud CRACK-A-BOOM that began abruptly and slowly petered out.

A huge golden-colored spaceship, with squat wings and a long, pointed nose, had appeared out of nowhere in the airspace above Beach City. It was slowly descending toward the center of town.

Ranma’s eyes were the size of dinner plates. “What the heck?! What is that?!”

Connie gasped, an enormous smile across her face. “The Sun Incinerator! Lars is back!”

“Who?”

Connie began to bound toward the landing site, calling over her shoulder. “C’mon! I’ll explain on the way!”

A scant few minutes later, Ranma and Connie rounded a corner to see the spaceship parked on the roof of a storefront Ranma had passed a few times before. The window read “Spacetries,” much to Ranma’s consternation.

Space Tries? Space Tries What???

On the sidewalk in front of the building were, to Ranma’s pleasant surprise, Sadie and Blue Lace Agate, along with two Gems joined at the hip that seemed vaguely familiar. All four were crowded around a tall, lanky fellow with pink skin and hair, who appeared to be dressed in a Captain Harlock cosplay. The whole group was exchanging hugs and chatting animatedly.

Ranma took in the sight, glancing back and forth between Lars and Lion.

Healing spit. Ah.

Connie broke into a run. “Lars! Hey, LARS!”

Lars turned, and grinned upon seeing Connie. The two grabbed each other in a tight hug, before pounding their fists together far harder than was necessary.

Ranma sidled over next to Sadie and Blue Lace, amusedly folding her arms. “This is new.”

Sadie smiled. “Hey there, Ranma! Yeah, Lars and Connie are friends and teammates. He and the Off-Colors are technically the Crystal Gems airborne division.”

Lars nodded, striking an overdramatic pose along with Connie. “Wouldn’t have it any other way! Y’know, except when I come home to have it this way.” His voice was nasally, with just the barest hint of a lisp. He reached out and gave Lion a pat on the snout with a gloved hand. “How ya doin’, buddy?”

Connie was almost vibrating with enthusiasm. “So how was space?! You’re totally taking me next time you head out, right?”

Lars grinned at her good-naturedly. “Not till you’re 18, and you know it. Unless your parents become super-cool with it super-quick.”

“What are they gonna do, hire a Zircon and serve you a deep-space subpoena?” Connie paused. “Who am I kidding, Mom would totally do that in a heartbeat.”

“Hence.”

Ranma leaned in with a pronounced Eh-Hemmmm, smiling indulgently. “Anyone wanna fill me in?”

Connie grabbed Lars in a one-armed sidehug. “This is Lars! He’s super cool!”

Lars grabbed Ranma’s hand in a firm shake. “Lars Barriga, good to meetcha!”

“Ranma Saotome! Back atcha! I just moved here a while back.”

Blue Lace leaned in, Ranma noticing for the first time that she was wearing a flour-covered apron, smeared with what appeared to be icing. “Lars likes to swap between Earth and Space every few months, so I watch the shop for Lars while he’s gone.”

Connie smiled, hefting her bag, a very conspicuously sword-shaped lump poking at the canvas. “You’ve been keeping up with your training in space, right? Don’t wanna hear you’ve been slacking off…”

With a smirk, Lars’s hand whipped an object from the depths of his cape. With an almost musical click-click-clack, a collapsible bo staff unfolded, held at the ready. “It may just be my travel staff, but I can still whoop your tuchus any day of the week!”

The conjoined Gems stepped forward, both smiling. The one on the left spoke first. “Alright, you two, enough of that.”

The one on the right: “Don’t go causing a ruckus in the street around the humans.”

Lars smiled apologetically. “Right, right. Sorry, Rutiles. How was your shore leave?”

Both Rutile twins beamed. “Fantastic, Captain!” “It was phenomenal, Captain!”

Lars glanced over his shoulder as the door swung open. A half-dozen Gems came filing out, along with- Ranma leaped backward- an enormous Caterpillar-shaped Gem that slowly shuffled off the roof, with a half-dozen midsections and almost a dozen Gems speckling her face and limbs and torso(s).

Sadie’s eyes were wide. “Wow! Looks like you picked up some new crew members!”

“Yeh, just a few.” A nice voice called out, this one springy and vaguely accented, like a gangster’s favorite moll. Ranma looked up just in time to see a bright pink blur vault off the roof of the shop and land neatly into a handstand.

Another Gem, one like Ranma hadn’t seen before. Her hair was a dark maroon, and she wore what looked like a clown’s approximation of a General’s dress uniform, over enormous white go-go boots. Atop her head was a floppy old pilot’s hat, goggles included. On her chest: a heart-shaped Gem, not quite upright, but crooked and lopsided.

The Gem, still balancing on one hand, gave an upside-down salute. “Cap’n Lars! All crew members have left the ship, and the Sun Incinerator has gone nighty-night for now!”

Lars saluted right back. “Well done, First Officer Spinel! I hereby relieve you of duty!”

Spinel chuckled. “Heh. Duty.”

Connie knelt down. “Hi, Spinel! When did you sign on with the Off-Colors?”

Spinel grinned, curling her spine at an impossible angle to re-alight on her feet with an audible squeak noise. “Started feelin’ a lil’ cooped up in the Royal Palace, so I sent Lars a message through Steven, and he picked me up! Been toolin’ around the galaxy, seein’ the sights.”

Ranma offered a polite round of applause at the contortionism. “That’s some of the best flexibility I’ve ever seen! Is that a Gem thing, or can I learn that?”

Spinel grinned. “Sorry, dollface, this is strictly a Spinel-only trick. Unless you got bones made of rubbah.”

Ranma felt something short-circuit behind her eyes.

Dollface?

Actually, that felt really nice.

Dollface…

But I’m a guy. Like a Ken Doll?

DOLLFACE?!!?

As Ranma attempted to reboot, Lars slid out of his Space Adventure Cape, smiling at the crowd that had slowly been growing around the shop as the denizens of Beach City arrived.

“Welcome to Spacetries, everyone! It’s great to be back, so ya know what? Half off on all baked goods today!”

Ranma’s sputtering brain suddenly focused onto a needlepoint.

Baked Goods?

Blue Lace quickly ducked past Lars as he pushed the shop’s door open. For the first time, Ranma noticed the wonderful telltale scents of sugar, frosting, chocolate, and other myriad delights.

Ranma followed Connie into the shop, her eyes wide. “Since when did this town have a Bakery?!”

Connie shot a quizzical glance. “Don’t you and Lapis go to the Big Donut like twice a week?”

“Yeah, but that’s a chain restaurant. This is, like, an actual down-home bakery!” She inhaled a deep sniff, her eyes watering with joy. “It smells amazing…” she whispered, a tiny line of drool beginning to slide from her mouth.

The bakery’s aesthetic was an odd, pastel blend of homey and space-themed, something that shouldn’t have worked nearly as well as it did. Shiny linoleum gleamed under light green walls. A pinball machine themed after that movie with the old scientist and the kid who drives a car to the past blinked happily in the corner. Ranma glimpsed a set of hanging lights, shaped like UFOs, and chuckled.

A cooler filled with a half-dozen ice cream flavors hummed away next to the main counter, filled with pastries, donuts, and buns on the top shelves, with a trio of amazing-looking cakes on the bottom. Ranma quietly began to keep mental checklist of everything to try the next time she felt like indulging.

Off to one side, Spinel sauntered over to the small seating area by the large, sunny window. She plopped down in a chair, leaned the back of it against the wall, and slid her pilot’s hat down over her eyes. Within a few seconds, she was snoring, like a… feline in her sunbeam.

On the wall behind Spinel, a framed poster from Beach City Underground Wrestling was prominently displayed. The familiar visages of Purple Puma and Tiger Millionaire during their glory days posed triumphantly. Steven was almost a full foot shorter than he was now. Ranma smirked. He really was a little meatball back then, huh.

As if on cue, Sadie chimed in with “Oh, by the way, I’ve got the recording of Puma and Tiger’s charity bout from two months ago whenever you want it, Lars.”

Lars beamed as he tied his apron behind his back. “Thanks, Sadie! I hate that I had to miss them! Gosh, I wish I could have met them…” he trailed off with a dreamy look on his face.

Sadie’s eyes rolled so far back into her head, they threatened to fall in. Ranma grinned. “Well, you could probably get Steven to wear the outfit for ya or something.”

Lars chuckled. “Aw, don’t tell me Sadie’s been tellin’ you her Steven-Is-Tiger-Millionaire theory.”

Sadie stuck out her tongue. “It’s true and you know it, Lars!”

“Sadie, I can and will outlive the sun telling you it isn’t.”

Ranma’s brow crinkled with confusion. “No, but he’s literally-“

She felt Sadie’s hand on her shoulder. “Don’t… don’t bother,” she whispered, shaking her head. “I’ve spent many an hour tilling at that particular windmill.”

From the glass counter, Connie waved Ranma over. She pointed at a pyramid stack of chocolate-covered eclairs. “Want to get a half-dozen of those to take to Steven’s?”

Ranma almost began drooling again at the thought of the crème-filled donuts. “Yes, Connie. Absolutely yes.”

With a wink, Blue Lace slid the back of the case open and began sliding the eclairs into a small box with a pair of tongs. Connie glanced over to Lars. “These are basically the same as Boston Cream, right?”

Lars nodded. “Yep, just bigger.”

Ranma leaned over, examining the baked goods within. “I’ve always wondered, what’s the difference between Boston Cream and Bavarian Cream? I can’t taste the difference.”

Lars shrugged as he leaned against the counter. “Same stuff. The only difference is that Bostons are chocolate-frosted, and Bavarians are sugar-dusted. The filling is the exact same.”

“Huh. That’s disillusioning.”

A chuckle from Lars. “Welcome to the shady-ass underground world of bakeries.”

With a fanged grin, Blue Lace dramatically plodded toward the kitchen. “Time to make the donuts…” she intoned deeply, with comic exhaustion.

As Lars punched a series of buttons on the register, Ranma’s eyes were drawn to the back of it.

Woah. Déjà vu.

A small trans flag decal was plastered across the back of the register. Ranma was suddenly reminded of Ukyo’s cash register, with it’s two tiny pride flags crossed across the back of it.

Ranma pointed at Lars’ register with one finger. “I love the little flag sticker!”

Ranma could almost see the caution flare up behind Lars’s eyes. “Uh. Thanks.”

She waved her hands apologetically. “Oh- sorry, I do mean that. It’s just… I have a friend back in Japan, he has the same flag on his register.”

Lars’s eyes brightened again. “That’s awesome! Give them a hello from me next time you see them!”

Ranma blinked. “Y-yeah… next time…”

The door to Steven’s Beach House creaked open as Steven came into view, his ever-present smile a welcome sight. “Hey, guys! Glad you could make it!”

Steven had swapped out his usual clothes for a rich purple summer blouse over a pleated skirt. His hair had also been tied back with a bandanna in a delightfully feminine style.

As Connie gave her Jam Bud a huge hug Hello, Ranma found herself staring at Steven. With the combination of the clothes, Steven’s hair, his wonderfully contagious friendliness, his sandals, he was downright… well, pretty.

What the heck do I even make of that?

Ranma thought back to her experiences with dresses. Forced into overly flouncy and frilly messes, decked with amounts of lace that should be considered cruel and unusual punishment by any civilized society. Forced into ridiculous contests and competitions, attempts to gain the approval of the likes of rich pigs like Chardin Picolet, or spoiled brats like Prince Tōma, or the Swirling Morass of Oh-God-Make-It-Stop that was Tatewaki Kuno.

And the less thought about that horrible, miserable ten minutes alone in a dressing room, in Boy Mode, with something cheap off the donation rack, and the misshapen waste that had looked back at him from the mirror, the better.

Every one of them a mistake. Every one of them a cumbersome mess of a memory that Ranma would give her front teeth to forget.

And yet… here was Steven. No difference except in a few certain pieces of fabric and a slightly flouncier walk than usual. And yet the difference was astounding.

Wow.

Steven, catching Ranma’s stare, gave her a knowing wink before sliding back into the house. “Come on in! Are you guys hungry? I’ve got pasta from the other night.”

Connie set her bag down on the dining table. “That sounds great, Steven! I’m actually pretty starved.”

Ranma rose a finger. “Me too, actually. And I’ve got dessert for later!” She flashed the box of eclairs, grinning toothily.

“Nice!” Steven called out, his head buried in the fridge as he produced a large pot full of leftovers. “It’s gonna be just us for today. Amethyst and Garnet are doing school stuff at Little Homeworld, and Pearl’s gonna be leaving for her date in a few minutes.”

Steven snapped a finger as he remembered something. “Oh, Ranma! There’s a little shelf on the floor by the door for your shoes, if you want to take them off.”

Ranma blinked, turning and looking down. Sure enough, a small shelf sat on the floor under with window. Steven’s sandals already sat upon it, with room for a few more.

“Wow! Thanks, Steven!”

“No problem! I saw you took yours off at Lapis’s place, and I remembered reading that it’s a Japanese custom, so I wanted you to be comfortable!”

As she eased her shoes off, Ranma glanced around Steven’s home. It was lovely, comfy, nostalgic. It reminded her of the Tendo Home, in a good way.

Ranma’s eyes were suddenly drawn to the long couch against the wall, below the stairs, and the three strangers sitting on it.

The three women sat in descending order of height from right to left: Tall, Big, and Enormous. All three sat in matching poses, legs crossed. Left and Right were leaning in, both looking at something on Middle’s phone.

On the Left: a gem, an unfamiliar Quartz. 6-foot-four and full of muscles. Orange-striped skin, with some additional green that spelled the telltale story of corruption. Horns over the traditional long, flowing Quartz hair. Her Gem, rather amusingly, right in the middle of her face, where her nose should be. Rather than the typical form-fitting clothes of most of the Quartzes, this one had found her calling in some of Earth’s fashion, ripped jeans and a very spiky leather jacket, bearing the heat no mind.

In the Middle: a human, also built, her crop top proudly displaying a plush midriff. Her hair was dyed a fading pink, indicating a need for a touch-up soon. To cope with the weather, she had sacrificed her usual jeans and boots for shorts and sneakers. Judging by the key ring hooked to her belt loops, the motorcycle Ranma had seen parked outside was likely hers.

On the Right: a Pearl, far more lithe and thin than Steven’s guardian. Her pink hair was tied in a simple bun in the back of her head, with a pair of loose strands framing her face. She squinted through a pair of round spectacles perched on her nose, the right lens a solid black. Around the black lens, some cracks could be seen, a spiderweb across where her orbital bone would be. She wore an orange turtleneck over- Ranma did a double-take- wide-flared bell bottoms.

Catching Ranma’s eye, Middle looked up from her phone, a confident smile quirking across her face. “Hiya.”

Ranma rocked back on her heels, offering a two-fingered salute. “Yo. I’m Ranma, I work at Little Homeschool.” She glanced between the Quartz and the Pearl. “I haven’t seen you two around.”

The Quartz grunted dismissively. “Makes sense. I’m still banned from the premises for another eight years.”

“How the heck did that happen?”

The Quartz glared at the wall, as if attempting to melt a hole in it. “Bad Old Days stuff. That’s all I’m gonna say.”

Ranma stuffed her hands in her pockets, unsure of what to say. “Uh… oof. At least things are getting better?”

The Quartz gave a soft growl in Ranma’s direction, like a tiger, but otherwise remained silent. From the kitchen, Steven shot her a reproachful half-glare. “Be nice…”

On the other end of the couch, the Pearl leaned forward, removing her spectacles. “You’re the defense teacher at Little Homeschool, right? Pearl’s told us about you. Sorry you don’t know us, Jasper and I live in the woods, a little out of town.”

Ranma nodded. “Cool. So which one of ya is Pearl’s girlfriend?”

There was a pause, before all three women chuckled. Middle gave Ranma a grin. “’Yes’, I think, would be a good answer to that question.”

Ranma blinked. “Hwa?

The Quartz rose her massive hand in a wave. “I’m Jasper. I’m Pearl’s girlfriend.”

The human gave a wink. “I’m Sheena. I’m also Pearl’s girlfriend.”

The Quartz gave a casual half-bow from her seated position. “Acceptable names for me are Volleyball, Peeps, and Pink Pearl. I am also also Pearl’s girlfriend.”

Ranma sat down on the table, a long-missing and horribly familiar pit in her stomach. “Oh. Oh boy. Hooooo boy. I had no idea Pearl had a fiancée problem too. Or is this a Close-Ranks-To-Murder-The-Cheater thing?”

Sheena and Volleyball looked genuinely confused. Jasper, meanwhile, had grown wide-eyed, and was rising from her seated position with her fists clenched. “What did you just say about Pearl?”

“Oh gosh!” Steven’s voice came from the kitchen as he jumped clear over the kitchen table with room to spare, landing softly between Ranma and Jasper. “Jasper, it’s okay! Ranma has had bad experiences with the idea of multiple partners, they don’t know!” He turned to Ranma. “Ranma, these three are Pearl’s Polycule. Jasper, Sheena, and Volleyball all date Pearl at the same time, and also each other. This is entirely consensual.”

Ranma blinked. Her eyes betrayed the fact that she was clearly entirely lost. “Wh… how does that work?”

Sheena leaned forward. “Well, it’s simple. Pearl met me and we started dating, then Pearl met Volleyball and they started dating as well, with my Okay. Then Jasper decided to turn herself around, and one thing led to another, so she’s in this too, both with me and Pearl.”

Jasper cut in. “Now, along with me also courting Sheena, Volleyball and I are cavemates.”

Volleyball added “Sheena and I are best friends, and Jasper and I are what humans may call ‘Friends With Benefits.’”

“And we all love Pearl.” They finished in unison.

Ranma felt as if her eyes were about to implode in their sockets and melt her brain. “So wait. Wait. Wait, wait, wait-wait. You guys just… all date each other? At the same time?? With no problems??? Just like that????”

Sheena shrugged. “I mean, we’re also on the same bowling team and trivia team. We don’t all live together yet, if we ever will. But, yeah.”

A cacophonic chorus of a dozen men and women screaming MINE! MINE! MINE! bounced through Ranma’s head. She clenched her fists tightly at her sides, then slowly exhaled through her teeth. “Well. My apologies. I had no idea it could be that easy. If you all will excuse me, I’m going to go walk into the sea.” She turned for the door. “Farewell.”

She barely made it a step before Connie grabbed her by the arm and guided her to the kitchen table, easing her into a chair. “Siddown, shaddup.”

The door to the Temple slid open as Pearl emerged, looking for all the world like she was going to a night at the Opera. A well-tailored tuxedo, white gloves and spats. Jasper, Sheena, and Volleyball collectively rose from their seats, all sharing the same look of wide-eyed wonder at the vision before them.

Steven gave a thumbs-up. “Looking sharp, Pearl! Where are you guys heading?”

Pearl gave her son a smile. “Thank you, Steven! We’re going to go hunt some local hate groups that have turned up recently in the countryside between Beach City and Ocean Town. I’ll call you if we're gone for more a day."

Steven, Connie, and Ranma collectively gave a simultaneous fist-pump.

Pearl crooked her arms to her sides. “Shall we?”

Jasper and Sheena each hooked their arms through Pearl’s, with Volleyball taking Jasper’s other side. The quartet headed for the door, arm-in-arm.

Ranma rested her elbows on the tabletop, clenching the sides of her head as if trying to prevent her brain from cracking in half. “They just… all date each other… without fighting…”

Connie offered Ranma a pity-pat on the back. “You okay?”

“There is… a fire… behind my eyes…”

Steven quickly crossed to the table, two bowls of reheated pasta balanced on his hands, a third carefully on his elbow. “That’s nothing. You need to meet Fluorite.”

“I think I did earlier. Part of Lars’s crew?”

Steven gently sat the bowls on the table. “Bingo. She’s a love-based Permafusion of… how many by now, Connie?”

Connie chewed on her fork as she thought back. “About twelve or so?”

Ranma slammed her head on the table. “Henka no ne ga ari masu!”

Ranma lay on Steven’s bed, her head and braid dangling upside-down off the end. She watched, upside-down, as Steven and Connie’s chosen characters sped laps around a cartoon track.

Connie’s tongue poked out of her mouth as she turned her controller along with her kart. “Steven, I see that Blue Shell. Don’t you dare.”

Steven grinned mischievously. “Hmm? Ah? Whuzzat?” He grinned as he stroked the shoulder button.

KA-BLAM.

Connie squawked as Steven sped past her. “Every time!”

Ranma chuckled. “Kasumi used to pull that on me. She always got the Blue Shell. I’m pretty sure she used some kinda black magic.”

The victory tune chimed as Steven crossed the finish line. “Isn’t she the one you said was kind of a milquetoast?”

“Yeah, but she was also the most vicious Mario Kart player I’ve ever seen. She could and would cream you on Rainbow Road without breaking a sweat.”

Connie’s eyes widened. “The legends are true…” she whispered.

As Connie stretched her arms above her head, Steven offered the controller out to Ranma. “You wanna tag in?”

Ranma shook her head. “Nah. I was never much of a gamer. I joined in on Mario Kart when Akane and Nabiki booted it up, and that was about it.”

Steven hummed thoughtfully. “I bet you’d be good at those motion games.”

“Dunno, never tried ‘em. No wait, I tell a lie. I did try DDR once. I sucked miserably at it.”

Connie flashed Steven a wink and a nod. Steven, nodding back, slid his phone out of the pocket he had sewn into the skirt. “Now that I think about it, Lapis enjoyed this game a lot the last time she was over. Want to see if she’s available?”

“Yes.” Ranma’s answer was far more immediate and resolute than she realized. Steven and Connie both chuckled internally.

She is so smitten.

Connie stood up from her spot on the bed, stretching. “If you ladies’ll give me a second, I gotta run to the bathroom.” She headed for the stairs, her bare feet tapping on the wooden floor.

Ranma allowed herself to slide forward off the bed, headfirst, shifting her weight with her fingertips and shifting upward from a backbend into a standing position. Steven gave her a cheerful round of applause, bringing a smile to Ranma’s face. She leaned forward. “Thankew, thankew.”

Walking lightly, stretching her legs and feet, Ranma eased over to the sliding glass door leading to the balcony, and the stairs that led up to the atrium. She glanced out the window, at the constantly shifting waves that lined the beach. “You’ve got a pretty sweet setup here, Steebs.”

Steven glanced up from his phone. “Yeah, the waves will put you right to sleep. I’m so used to it, it takes me ages to fall asleep anywhere else.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Ranma spied something: a broken sword, pink, with a wide blade and an immaculately carved hilt. The piece was propped on a small stand on Steven’s shelf.

Ranma whistled appreciatively. “The craftsmanship on this sword is gorgeous.”

“Tell Bismuth that, she’ll appreciate it. Have you met Bismuth yet?”

Ranma shook her head. “Can’t say I have, we keep missing each other. I know Lapis is friends with her.”

Steven nodded. “Yeah. That actually used to be Connie’s old sword, before it broke. You should have seen her using it when it was whole- it was as big as her, and she’d wield it one-handed.”

“Woooow.” Ranma could tell from the size of the hilt that it was already fairly weighty for its size, clearly crafted for someone with larger hands than Connie. “One-handed, huh?”

Steven nodded, grinning hugely. “One. Handed.”

“Connie’s super cool, isn’t she.”

Steven nodded once more, very enthusiastically. “Isn’t she, though?!!?”

Ranma plopped back onto the bed, hands behind her head. “She’d make a fine martial artist, if she wanted to.”

“Anyone I know?” Connie sauntered back up the stairs, a knowing smile on her face.

Ranma shrugged. “Well, it’s true! You’re already super fit, you know self-defense with a weapon. You’d be a natural! Actually…” Ranma stood back up. “Here, gimme a flex.”

With a good natured eyeroll, Connie rolled her shirt sleeve back, giving her bicep a flex.

“Great! Hold that a sec.”

Ranma examined Connie’s arm, gently squeezing her bicep, and slowly bending and unbending her arm. “You’re strong, you’re flexible, and I know you’re eager to learn. Not to steal you from your sensei, but I’d love to have you in my class at the community center.”

Connie hummed, actually considering the idea. “I’d have to run it by Pearl, but I might just take you up on that.”

Steven’s phone chimed, a 5-note chiptune, and he clicked it on to check the text. He smiled. “That’s a yes from Lapis for hanging out! She’s in the middle of a Morp right now, but she’s gonna come by when she’s done.”

Ranma found herself smiling. “Great! Hey, Steven, I think I changed my mind. Got any other games?”

“WINNER! LONELY BLADE!”

Steven laughed as Ranma slumped backward on the bed, waving a controller in one hand. The plastic case for the game Lonely Blade: Swords of Fury: Part II: Gates Of Hell: The Bloodening clattered to the floor. “Dang it! Steven, this is too hard!”

Connie smirked. “What happened to the master martial artist?”

Ranma wildly gestured at the screen. “This is not martial arts! This is a torture device developed in a secret effing lab, deep beneath the Amazon Village or something!”

Connie offered a hand. “Want me to tag in?”

Ranma clenched the controller. “No. This boy has my temper up. I am winning this thing at least once.”

On the character select screen, Steven clicked on Lonely Blade again, Ranma sliding her cursor over to someone in a red uniform.

“NEW ROUND! LONELY BLADE! VERSUS! DOCTOR KARATE!”

Ranma hammered at her controller. “Martial arts is an art. You cannot condense an art down to two punch buttons and two kick buttons.”

Steven hummed mischievously. “Not with that attitude you can’t.”

“I’m older than both of you. You’re supposed to respect your elders, Sonny Jim.”

“What’s the matter, Grandma? The millennials too good at this newfangled technology?”

“This is elder abuse. I’m calling the AARP.”

“Do it! I’ll hide your Metamucil!”

As Connie wheezed with laughter, onscreen, Doctor Karate fell backward with an overdramatic, echoing scream.

“WINNER: LONELY BLADE!”

Ranma slumped forward. “Aaagggggghhhhh. I’m a disgrace.”

Steven offered a smile. “In all seriousness, do you want to stop?”

Ranma shook her head. “No, no. One more round!”

“Let’s take a break at least. We’re both getting a little worked up.”

Ranma paused. “…Yeah, okay, point. I’m good with taking a break.”

Steven pointed a thumb down the stairs. “Want me to go get those eclairs?”

Ranma immediately brightened up. “Yes please!”

A thumbs-up from Steven. “On it!” He hopped to his feet, heading for the stairs.

Ranma examined the character screen. She called down, “Hey Steven, y’know your Lonely Blade guy looks like a guy I knew back in Nerima?”

“Really?” Steven responded, taking the stairs two by two, the Spacetries box in his hands.

“Yeah, one of the Kunos. I think I told you about them. He’d just dress in those robes in public, every day. It was all very anime.”

Connie shifted on the bed. “My mom wouldn’t let me watch anime for ages. She said it presented an inaccurate depiction of Japan in general.”

Ranma snorted. “You oughta take her to Nerima, it’s pretty spot-on to this game.” She paused. “Actually, don’t go to Nerima. Nerima sucks. Ukyo aside.”

As Steven passed the open box around, Ranma paused as she produced her pastry. “Y’know, I tell a lie. There was another game I tried once. Ukyo did try to get me into Animal Crossing.”

From Connie: “Aw, we love Animal Crossing!” Steven, his mouth full, simply nodded his agreement.

Ranma shrugged, gesturing with her éclair. “Yeah, it seemed pretty fun, but I know an omen when I see one.”

“What omen?”

“Well, an’ Ukyo said this should have been impossible, but the first time I booted it up, every single villager in my town was a-“

Ranma stopped as she felt something soft and slightly pointy step on her bare foot. She glanced down off the edge of the bed, at the floor.

On the floor, one paw on Ranma’s foot, was a small,

furry

calico

pointy-eared

clawed

fanged

one-eyed

Cat.

It was staring right at her.

At her right, Steven chuckled. “Oh, hey Cat Steven.”

Ranma’s heart was hammering. Her eyes were wide.

“C-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-“

Her scalp and back prickled as she broke into a sweat.

“-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-“

She couldn’t breathe.

Somewhere a thousand miles away, Connie made a noise that vaguely sounded like ‘Are you okay?’ Ranma couldn’t bring herself to answer.

she was dimly aware that her fists were clenched

she had crushed her éclair

her fingers stained with chocolate icing

sickly yellow cream dripping down her arm

“-c-c-c-c-c-“

it’s one of them it’s one of the monsters it’s here it’s here it’s looking at me it’s looking

at

me

the music from the game was so, so, so incredibly loud

The cat was staring right at her.

It knew she was afraid.

“-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-“

A thousand tiny spiders spilled out of its eye socket, all of them making tiny meow noises.

The cat’s mouth opened, and its jaw began to stretch and distort grotesquely.

Its meow slowly turned from a wobbling croak to an uneven, undulating, unending screech.

The house was gone. The whole world was gone. It was just Ranma and the beast.

Its singular eye grew larger and larger, blotting out the sun, the noise boring into Ranma’s ears, into her soul, until

suddenly

mercifully

everything

went

black.

Chapter Text

Ranma was running.

Running, staggering through a dark, unending tunnel.

He was naked. He couldn’t see, but he could feel the lack of clothes on his body, his bare feet slapping on the ground.

The air stank with the stench of fish.

His legs were made of lead. He couldn’t keep his balance.

But he had to keep moving. Had to get away.

In the darkness, all around him, were eyes.

Hundreds.

Thousands.

Yellow, slitted eyes. All of them watching him.

The air was thick with the sound of purring. The sound that the Beasts made when they were enjoying tormenting their prey.

There was an occasional meow, or yowl, from somewhere far too close.

No matter how far or how fast he ran, they would always be waiting for him.

A spotlight turned on ahead of him with a deafening clatter, blinding him.

He squinted through his eyelids as his vision adjusted.

There in the spotlight was the one-eyed calico, an enormous rictus of a smile stretching across its face.

It hissed at Ranma, and he was flung backward, flying through the darkness, a mile or more in an instant.

He slammed onto a hard surface, his head battered against something cold and smooth.

He was in a familiar doctor’s clinic, one he hadn’t seen in many years. He was stuck to the examination table, unable to move.

From his side, someone came into view. Coke-Bottle glasses over a simple set of scrubs.

Ranma blinked. “Doctor Tofu?”

Doctor Tofu stared blankly down at Ranma. Ranma noticed, for the first time, that Tofu had whiskers, stiff and pointing straight out from around his mouth, which housed a set of feline fangs.

“We will have to euthanize him, Nya.” The Doctor warbled, his voice stilted, oddly emphasized. Tofu raised his head, looking over Ranma and across the room. “Nurse, prepare the sedative.”

Ranma turned his head, his body still stuck to the examination table. On the opposite wall, where the door used to be, there was only a long, dark hallway, stretching into infinity.

In the distance, there was a loud WHAM of a mallet on the wall.

“Idiot, Nya…”

WHAM. Closer now.

“Pervert, Nya…”

WHAM. Even closer.

“Idiot, Nya!”

WHAM. Closer.

“Pervert, Nya!”

WHAM. So close now.

Ranma was running now, somehow unstuck from the table. He scrambled in a random direction, needing to get out, get anywhere-

A noxious purple cloud filled the air with a muffled explosion. Ranma coughed and hacked, his lungs and eyes burning.

The familiar clack-clack of a wooden bokken on the ground drew closer and closer.

From the fog, a horrible two-headed beast came crabwalking forth on its knuckles and bare feet. Tatewaki and Kodachi Kuno’s heads, each facing a different direction, swiveling grotesquely. Their eyes were yellow, their pupils slitted.

Tatewaki’s head began to babble. “Honor! Honor, Pigtailed Girl! Honor, Ranma Saotome, Prepare to Die, Nya!”

Kodachi’s head simply began to laugh, that horrible, deep, booming Noblewoman’s laugh. Her jaw distended horribly, and Shampoo’s cat form clawed its way from her gullet. Cat Shampoo looked at Ranma, and spoke with Elder Cologne’s voice.

“You have forgotten your obligations, airen-in-law. Either wed my me-daughter, or face your death sentence, Nya.”

Ranma simply turned and fled again, terror filling his soul. The pitter-pat of countless little clawed paws was so close now, just behind him, just out of sight. The cacophony of meows grew ever louder.

A high pitched, lewd cackle. Ranma’s heart dropped.

No… Not him… Please not him…

Happosai’s groping hands swiped at his exposed buttocks, grabbing a handful of skin in a tight, painful squeeze before Ranma could shake it off.

“Come back, Sweet-O! I wanna get a good facefull of your lovely breasts next, Nya! I’m gonna stick my nose in your belly button, Nya!”

A camera flashed, over and over, blinding Ranma’s vision as he kept running. Nabiki’s smug chuckle echoed in the darkness.

A glimpse of an apron on the left, Kasumi’s resigned sigh. “Don’t cause a fuss, Ranma. Just let it happen. It’ll all be over soon, Nya.”

A massive, black-furred arm ending in a claw came from nowhere, clotheslining Ranma to the ground. Even though he’d never been able to speak in Panda Mode before, Ranma’s father’s voice rumbled from the darkness.

“Nya, Boy.”

Ranma crawled on his hands and knees, his naked ass in the air. The laughter came from every direction, a dozen specific voices, intermixing with the meows, louder and louder and louder.

Why? Why is this happening to me? I was safe! I was happy!!!

Ranma could sense them, all of them, crowding around him, just out of sight, cackling like melting hyenas, corralling him forward, forward.

In front of him, wide and yawning, was the Pit.

The Pit.

From deep within, the horrible, horrible sound of dozens of starved cats spilled out, yowls and screeches and almost human screams.

On the other side of the Pit, sat the only person left. The only person Ranma was truly afraid of.

His Mother sat there, in her light blue kimono, her hair tied back so tightly it looked as if her scalp might simply pop off. Her face was gone, replaced with that of a gigantic, grey old cat, with one eye. The old tom that had ruled over all the other cats in the Pit. The one who always got the first Bite, the first Claw. The King of the Cats, in his mother’s Kimono.

His Mother produced the Contract. The Contract, written and signed with Ranma’s tiny handprint at the age of four, before he could even read. The Contract, detailing the exact terms of the Man Among Men Ranma was destined to be, and the consequences for failing to achieve these terms in any way.

Seppuku , the kanji glowed on the page.

His Mother opened her single cat eye. “You have broken your promise, wretched child, Nya. You have failed me. You have failed your family and dishonored out house, Nya.” From her kimono, she produced the one item she was never without, day or night. The Saotome Family katana, sharpened to an atom-thick point. It shimmered as she pulled it from it’s sheath, the soft grinding sound prickling Ranma’s skin.

“It is time, Nya,” the crowd spoke in unison.

Ranma was paralyzed, unable to move, shaking in fear, tears dripping from his eyes.

With a sound like someone trapped at the bottom of a mine shaft, the Pit widened, growing larger and larger. The edge shot outward, swallowing Ranma before he could even blink.

Ranma tumbled forward, grabbing blindly. His hand caught the edge of the Pit, hanging over nothing.

I don’t want to die… I don’t want to die…

“Ranma! Take my hand!!!”

Ranma’s head shot up. A hand holding an oversized spatula/a white hand/a dark hand/a purple hand/a blue hand extended toward him, shifting between colors and sizes, but offering help.

“I… I…”

Something small and red sailed over the edge of the Pit, spitting angry red sparks from the end as it fell. The Cherry Bomb exploded as it passed out of sight. An angry meowing wail began to roar from the bottom of the Pit. Something was coming. Something enormous.

Blinking through the tears, Ranma grabbed for the hand(s), and

woke up.

The first thing she noticed was the length of blue fabric in her immediate view. Soft, comfortable and comforting.

The second thing she noticed was the warmth under her abdomen, the slow breaths above her.

The third was Connie’s wide-eyed face descending into view. “Ranma?”

Ranma blinked. Her hands hurt. “Connie?”

The warmth under her shifted suddenly, as Ranma fell roughly onto the floor. A familiar blue face came into view above her.

Lapis, eyes wide, red and bloodshot, panic in her voice. “Ranma! Are you okay?!”

“I-I-“

Ranma was suddenly wrapped in a bone-crushing hug as the Gem buried her face in her hair. “Don’t you ever scare me like that again, Jerk!!!”

Ranma slowly wrapped a hand around her best friend. “Lapis, I… I’m so sorry…”

Ranma realized that her heart was pounding. Her head felt fuzzy, her cheeks burning.

What’s happening?

She didn’t know.

All she knew was that Lapis’s skin was so warm against hers, that her hair was so fluffy and flouncy and soft, and that this was the best hug Ranma had had in… well, ever.

“Wait, Lapis, when did you get here?”

Still into Ranma’s neck: “Steven texted me an hour ago, dummy.”

Steven plopped down next to them, breathing heavily. “Are you okay, Ranma?”

Ranma nodded. “Y-yeah. I think I-“

Oh.

The Cat Fist.

I lost control again.

Ranma immediately shut her eyes, an almost imperceptible shake beginning to vibrate in her hands. “B-before I say anything… is the c-c-c-c-c-c-ca-ah-c-c-c-“

Steven raised his hands consolingly. “Cat Steven is in the Temple. She’ll be fine in there, she has a playset and a bed in Garnet’s room.”

Ranma nodded, the panic receding. “G-good. Good.” Her eyes turned to the Gem still holding her. “Lapis, you can let go now.”

Lapis gasped. “Oop- sorry!” She sat backward, letting Ranma sit up.

For the first time, Ranma could see her surroundings, the damage she had caused.

Steven’s bedroom had been trashed. His sheets were shredded, his mattress hemorrhaging stuffing. His TV lay in the corner, the screen smashed, the casing neatly sliced into pieces. More scratches covered the walls and floor, along with one long one leading down the stairs into the house.

Becoming aware of the ache in her hands, Ranma looked down. Her skin was bright red and irritated, the hard calluses she used to have having slowly vanished over the past few months. Several of her nails were split, and a few knuckles were bleeding.

Ranma felt the white-hot blanket of guilt and shame settle over her. “Oh God… guys, I’m so sorry…how bad are you hurt?”

Connie shook her head. “We’re fine! What about you? What just happened?”

Steven watched in real time as Ranma slowly withdrew, curling in on herself, becoming so small and so quiet. He could almost feel his heart break in his chest.

“Every time…” Ranma whispered to herself. “Every time… I can’t even escape the bastard on another continent…” Her hands slowly migrated to her temples, her fingers grasping two tight handfuls of her hair. Her braid was slowly wound around a finger, pulling tighter and tighter.

Connie extended a hand to Ranma’s shoulder, only for Ranma to flinch it off.

“Ranma… you know you can talk to us…”

Just go. Just go. Far away. You ran this far, just keep running farther. Leave them behind, so they can forget you.

Ranma felt her legs tense up, ready to run…

And then.

A tiny, desperate part of Ranma’s soul held on tightly, with a whispered:

No.

Please.

Be Brave.

 “Steven, can… can I be alone for a little while?”

Steven nodded. “Of course.” He pointed to the window leading to the veranda outside his bedroom. “Take those stairs up, there’s an atrium with big comfy bean bags and pillows to sit on. It’s quiet, and you can adjust the lights.”

Ranma slowly rose to her feet, her shoulders slumped. A mumbled “Thanks.” She slowly trudged to the glass door, slid it open, and stepped outside onto the deck without a word.

Time passed.

Ranma lay on her side in the dim atrium, on top of the Warp Pad in the center. A pillow under her, another pillow pulled over her as a quasi-blanket. The weight was comforting, if only a little.

She wished she could just die. Right there.

Eight months. Eight months since she had fled Nerima. Eight months of a clean slate. Eight months of minimal bother from her old life.

So much for that.

Alien rock people were one thing. A gender-confused martial artist with an aversion to hot showers was one thing.

But hopping around like a moron while meowing and committing vast amounts of property damage?

That was just stupid.

She should have known that her being happy somewhere couldn’t ever last. Maybe it was just the Saotome family luck, or maybe it was the Jusenkyo curse, or maybe there was just something about her that pissed God off.

She could hear the questions already.

Why didn’t you warn us?

What, cute little kittes make you trip out? Freak.

So, you acting like a cat, is that a sex thing, or…?

She clenched the pillow under her tightly, her eyes hot and moist. Here in the darkness, where there was no one but herself to see her weakness and shame, she could allow herself this.

Unbidden, a memory rose to the surface.

The linen closet was dark, small, isolated. If he pulled some of the towels and blankets forward, to just barely jut off the edge, the shelves wouldn’t bite into his back. Light from the hallway barely filtered into the closet through the sliding shoji door.

Ranma rested his chin on the backs of his knees, curled up in front of him. Hot tears leaked silently from his eyes, as he stifled a sob that begged to spill out. Had to be quiet. Noises meant someone would hear.

It had been a rough day.

Screw it. Today had been fucking miserable.

It had been one of those days where all the fiancées and rivals converged for attacks at the same time. Where Happosai was out in full force, groping and leering. Where Akane had blamed him for the whole debacle, and given Mallet-sama a thorough workout.

Where, just as he’d gotten to the Tendo home, hopeful for some time to relax, he’d caught sight of his mother in the living room just before Pops had drenched him, to keep his cover as Ranko Tendo.

Where she had been forced to sit, out of politeness, across from her mother, Nodoka’s katana ever present, just visible under the folds of her kimono. Nodoka, prattling on and on about manhood and manliness and her son, unaware he was just a foot away from her.

Ranma had finally, just barely biting back a scream, excused herself from the living room, and after a quick splash of hot water at the bathroom sink, had sequestered himself in the linen cabinet. This was where he’d come when the tears just couldn’t be held back anymore.

The door suddenly slid open, Kasumi reaching in for a fresh towel. She froze, her hand on the shelf, staring down into Ranma’s wide, fearful eyes.

Time stood still. Down the hall, far too close, Ranma could hear his mother talking with Mister Tendo, the two of them laughing at something. Somehow that stung more than it should have.

Kasumi exhaled through her nose, before removing the towel from the shelf, and softly shutting the door again.

Ranma gave it a moment, before leaving the closet, crossing to the bathroom, and using cold water to wash the tears out of her eyes, to avoid irritation and too much redness. This was part of the routine.

One way or another, for better or worse, Kasumi never spoke of their encounter in the closet to Ranma.

Ranma stopped using the linen closet to hide in.

There was a soft knock at the door behind her. Ranma, almost dozing, flinched suddenly. The ache in her fingers returned sharply.

From the other side, Steven’s voice. “Ranma? Can we come in?”

Ranma snorted. Half into the pillow, she responded “S’your house, Steven.”

“Ranma.” Steven’s voice was firm. “We won’t come in unless you want us to. It’s your choice.”

There was a long, silent pause. Steven shared a glance with Connie and Lapis, behind him on the deck.

Eventually, from inside the atrium: “Yeah. Come in.”

The door slid open. Three pairs of footsteps entered quietly, three silhouettes projected on the wall in front of Ranma.

Ranma, not daring to meet their eyes, kept staring at the opposite wall. She waited for the inevitable to start. The jeers. The insults. Maybe a kick for good measure.

There was a soft rustling as the three sat down around Ranma.

Lapis’s voice. “You okay?”

Ranma slowly shook her head. “No. I’m pretty freaking far from okay.”

“I’m so sorry, Ranma. I should have told them you’re afraid of cats.”

“S’not your fault.”

Connie reached over, placing a hand on Ranma’s side. “Ranma… ailurophobia is nothing to be ashamed of. Lots of people have it.”

Ranma snorted. “Really. Do lots of people go into dissociative trances when they see a cat that they only awake from after committing atrocities?”

From Steven this time: “Ranma, you broke a TV and scratched a wall. Those aren’t atrocities.”

Ranma pressed her face deeper into the pillow. “Just go away. I’m a freak and you shouldn’t be around me.”

“You aren’t a freak, Ranma-“

“YES I AM!” Ranma shouted, snapping into a seated position. “I’m a FREAK! I’m a cat-fearing, honorless, thoroughly genderfucked freak! I can’t even take a goddamn shower!” Ranma began to slap herself across the face. “Baka, hentai, baka, hentai, baka-“

“RANMA, STOP!” Lapis dove for the braided martial artist, wrapping her arms around her tightly, her wings emerging to provide a second layer.

Ranma thrashed in her grip. “LEMME GO! LEMME GO RIGHT NOW!”

Steven and Connie shared panicked looks, no idea what to do.

Ranma’s thrashing slowly died down, her impressive strength still no match for a Gem’s far enhanced strength. Ranma slumped over in Lapis’s grasp, body wracked with enormous sobs, her arms hanging limp. Lapis retracted her wings, holding Ranma close, as Steven and Connie joined in on the hug.

Ranma howled her grief into their arms, tears flowing freely and unrestrained for the first time in almost twenty years.

More time passed.

Ranma sat at Steven’s kitchen table, a mug of hot tea steaming in front of her. Light from the setting sun shone in from outside through the big windows.

On either side, Lapis and Connie, their hands on the table near hers. Consolation offered, if needed. Connie had her own mug of tea; Lapis, a small plate with three damp teabags sitting on it. Neither seemed particularly interested in either, though.

After calming down, Ranma’s hands had been shown some medical attention. Ranma gently ran a thumb over the band-aids criss-crossed over the split skin over her knuckle. Some tiger balm had eased the ache.

Steven stepped back inside through the screen front door, phone to his ear. “Okay. Thanks, Garnet.” He hung up, turning to the group. “Pearl and her group are gonna be gone till tomorrow. Garnet and Amethyst are gonna stay at Little Homeworld for the evening, but they said to let them know if you want them here.”

Ranma nodded, staring at her reflection in her tea. “Thanks.”

Steven took a seat at the table, adjusting his skirt. “How are you feeling?”

Ranma sighed. “Better? Y’know, comparatively? I’m not having a tantrum anymore, so there’s that.”

Connie spoke softly. “Ranma, you’re allowed to be angry about things. Your feelings are valid.”

Ranma remained silent. No one had ever told her that. She honestly didn’t know what to think of it.

Eventually, she spoke. “I… I’m sorry. I know that whole c-c-c… the thing earlier must have looked weird.”

Steven nodded. “I mean, yeah, but we were worried about you.”

“What… what specifically did I do? While I was… under.”

“Well, you stared at Cat Steven for a really long time. Then you went limp… and then you started acting like a cat. A really strong one, we couldn’t hang onto you. You were running laps around my room on all fours, hissing and slashing at the walls.”

Ranma winced. “Ah… yeah. Sorry about your TV.”

Steven waved a hand dismissively. “Won’t be the first TV broken in this house, won’t be the last.”

Ranma paused. “So… what made me snap out of it?”

Steven and Connie shared a look with Lapis, whose cheeks suddenly gained a darker blue hue to them. Ranma blinked. “What?”

“Lapis arrived to hang out, heard the ruckus upstairs and came running to see what was happening, and…” Connie trailed off.

Lapis resumed the sentence. “You… kinda… leapt into my lap and started purring?”

OH.

Ranma’s face went beet red. “O-Oh?! Did I? That, uh, that’s… different.”

Steven leaned in. “Ranma, has this sort of thing happened before?”

Ranma stared at the tabletop in sullen silence. “Y’mean, have I ever seen a harmless k-k-kitty-cat an’ gone into a dissociative fugue state before? Nope, never. This is totally unprecedented.”

Steven quashed the irritability that attempted to bubble up from his more impulsive side. “Ranma… we’re not gonna force you to talk about this if you really don’t want to, but we want to help you.”

Be Brave.

Ranma took a deep swig of her tea, clunking the mug back onto the table. She took a deep breath… and let it out.

“Steven… I know your mom is a real complicated can of worms, and I don’t wanna start nothin’… but did she ever do anything… I dunno, actively malicious?”

Steven sighed, a long-suffering exhale. “Honestly, who’s to say anymore? I can barely keep track of the stuff she did. Some of it was just uncaring, some of it helped people. I’ve given up trying to sort it.”

Ranma nodded. “Yeah, but my point is… hell, I barely know what my point is.”

Connie placed a hand on Ranma’s forearm. “That’s okay. You can take as long as you need. We’re here for you, Ranma.”

At her other side, Lapis’s hand slowly crept forward, interlacing with Ranma’s. A reassuring squeeze.

Ranma stared into her empty mug. “I read poetry for a while, years ago. Went on a poetry kick, lots of books. I’d read ‘em when no one was watching, cause my Pops said it weren’t manly.”

Connie wrinkled her nose, but said nothing.

Ranma pressed on. “There was one that stuck with me, fer whatever reason. This Be The Verse. It was about how yer parents just fuck you up, whether they mean to or not. My Mom and my Pops… I’ll be blunt, I hate ‘em both. I hate ‘em for what they did to me.”

Ranma rose from her chair, sliding her hand from Lapis’s. “I’m gonna switch to Guy Mode for just a second. There’s somethin’ I need you guys to see to make my point.”

From Lapis: “Are you sure?”

Ranma nodded. “Y-yeah. It’s just for a few seconds. I’ll be fine.”

Ranma turned and stepped to the sink. “Hang on a sec.” She turned the hot water on, steeled herself, and splashed her face.

Steven, Connie, and Lapis watched as Ranma’s form instantly bulked up, grew a solid five inches taller, his hair changing hues from red to black.

Ranma clenched the countertop tightly, facing the wall above the sink, eyes closed tightly. As long as he didn’t look at them looking at him, he’d be fine.

He slowly reached for his shoulders, grabbing his shirt and pulling it off, above his head, revealing his toned torso, wrapped in a sports bra around his chest.

“Sorr-“ he paused as his voice cracked, clearing his throat. In almost a whisper, he continued. “Sorry for the Mode change, but these disappear when I’m in Girl Mode. Dunno why.” Eyes still closed, he motioned up and down his torso with a hand. “D’you see ‘em?”

A soft gasp from Connie, the more medically-minded of the three.

Ranma’s Guy Mode’s torso was covered in faded scars. Faint, but not gone, countless scratches and cuts in every direction.

“Oh, Ranma… what happened?”

Ranma shuddered, a queasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. “Hold on.” He leaned forward, dropping his shirt to the floor, turning on the cold water. A quick splash later, and a shirtless Girl Mode Ranma leaned over the sink, breathing heavily, her wet hair dripping into the bowl. “Can I have a towel?”

Connie’s hand came into view after a moment, placing a dishcloth on the counter next to her. Ranma quickly dried her hair, before bending over and retrieving her shirt. Slipping it on, she turned back to the table, grinning slightly at the sight before her. Steven was facing the other direction, his hand over his eyes. “Steven, you’re good. I’m dressed.”

Steven turned back around, apologetic, but still concerned. “How did your other form get all those scars?”

Ranma chuckled bitterly. “Hoo boy, ain’t that a story and a half. Remember I told you guys about the thirteen-year training trip my Pops took me on, to teach me martial arts across Asia?”

Assorted nods from around the table.

“Well, one of the methods he tried was somethin’ called the Neko-ken- the Cat Fist, I guess you’d translate it. It was supposed to give you “catlike reflexes” and “superhuman strength.” She chuckled. “What a load of garbage.”

A pit was slowly growing in Connie’s stomach. “Ranma… what happened?”

Ranma sighed, clenching her fist on the table. Connie, sensing her emotions: “I promise you don’t have to-“

“No. No, I, I do. I want to.” Ranma steeled herself, before pressing on.

“When I was nine… Pops made me dig a hole. A Pit. Twelve feet deep, maybe seven or eight feet wide. When it was done, he… he brought by a whole bunch of stray cats he had caught, an’ he tossed ‘em in the pit. And… he left them there. For three days.”

Ranma’s eyes were locked with the tabletop. “After three days, he brought me back to the Pit. The cats were all starving, howling and meowing at the bottom. It was too high for them to get out, so they were just stuck down there, with nothing to eat. And Pops told me it was time…” Ranma gulped hoarsely. “Time for me to become a man.

“So he taped dead fish all over me, and slathered me with wet cat food… and he threw me in.”

It was such a ridiculous concept, stated so matter-of-factly, that Connie almost didn’t believe it. But Ranma’s face, her tone, combined with what had happened upstairs… it had to be true.

Lapis was staring at her own hand, flexing and unflexing, as if imagining the claws. Steven’s hand was over his own mouth, his eyes wide with horror. “Oh God…”

Ranma nodded. “Yeah. Oh God. A couple dozen cats, angry and starving, with long raggedy claws and sharp teeth. And I got tossed to them, wearing their dinner.”

Ranma’s hand gently scratched at the tabletop. “I almost climbed out a few times, but Pops would just… kick me in the face, drop me right back in. Over an’ over again.”

She realized she was scratching at the tabletop, and gently clenched the hand into a fist. “At one point, I think I gave up. I remember just… lying on the bottom of the Pit, waitin’ for it to end. The cats were finally calming down… and then I see a Cherry Bomb come sailin’ over the edge. It went KA-BAM, and I thought I was dead… then the cats got spooked, and we was off to the races again.”

A long pause. Then: “I was nine. I was nine years old.”

Ranma fell silent. There was a sense of horror around the table.

Lapis squeezed Ranma’s hand. “I… Ranma, I’m so sorry.”

Ranma maintained eye contact with the tabletop. “After… I dunno how long, maybe a day? It felt like three… he hauled me out. And instead of superhuman agility or heat vision or whatever the eff he wanted, I got a split personality that acts like a cat until it calms down.”

Steven gave a long exhale. What could he even say to something like that? Doing something like that was literally unthinkable.

Ranma laughed bitterly. “Y’wanna know the best part? If he’d turned to the next page in the book he got the idea from, he woulda seen the warning that said ‘This is Stupid, Do Not Do This, It’s Been Outlawed’ in giant Kanji.”

Connie’s lips were tightly pursed, wide eyes burning a hole in the table. Though she had never met the man, didn’t even know what he looked like, she was imagining several very graphic revenge fantasies to visit upon Genma Saotome.

Ranma coughed. “And uh, yeah. That’s the first half of what my folks did to me.”

Lapis felt her Gem plummet into her stomach. Steven blanched. “The first half?!”

Ranma nodded. “Y-yeah. I know this is a lot. I can stop if you guys want-“

Steven’s hand shot forward, grabbing Ranma’s. “Don’t you dare stop.” He insisted. “Ranma, I can tell this has been burdening you for a long time, but you are not a burden. Let it out. Please.”

Steven felt Ranma’s hand shake slightly inside his own. Slowly, Ranma nodded. “O-okay. Okay.”

Ranma took another deep inhale, slowly breathing in and letting it back out. An emotional reset.

“So… Connie, you weren’t there for this, but do you guys remember what I said about my mom last time? Her obsession with me being a Man Among Men?”

Lapis and Steven nodded.

“And you remember I mentioned she had a failsafe in place to make sure that it happened.”

Another nod from Steven. “Yeah. You weren’t ready to talk about it last time.”

Ranma slowly squeezed Lapis’s hand tightly.

Finally: “Do you guys know what seppuku is?”

Connie gasped softly. Steven and Lapis both looked to her, both clearly lost. Connie’s eyes were wide, horrified. “Oh, Ranma, she didn’t.”

Ranma nodded. “Yeah. She did.”

Steven, looking confused: “She did what? What’s seppuku?”

Connie looked at Ranma. “Do you want me to…?”

Ranma paused, thinking about it. “Y-yeah, actually, if that’s okay.”

Connie nodded, turning to Steven and Lapis. “What Ranma is saying is that, unless I’m mistaken on the definition of the word… Ranma’s mother made her sign a Suicide Pact.”

Steven’s eyes were enormous. His mouth moved, as if he were trying to speak, but nothing came out.

Lapis wordlessly wrapped her best friend in a hug. Ranma leaned against her, sighing.

“They made me sign it when I was like, four years old. With a handprint. I couldn’t even read it, they acted like we were just fingerpainting.”

Silence reigned over the table as Ranma trailed off. No one was sure of what to make of Ranma’s story.

Steven squeezed Ranma’s hand. “Ranma, I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve any of that.”

Ranma shook her head. “Nope. No I didn’t. But there’s the story of Me. They wanted me to be a Man, but they ruined the idea of being a Man. They made me hate cats, made me get antsy around the idea of having a fiancée or a partner, made me want to never be around katanas or metal kettles or water or blue kimonos. Made me paranoid when I eat, like someone is still gonna steal my food off my plate. Made me afraid to sing or dance or read or wear shorts. Just… made me afraid. Afraid of everything.”

Connie stood abruptly. “Ranma, I’m sorry, but I need to step away for a second. I need to break something. Do you mind?”

Ranma blinked, a legitimately surprised chuckle popping out. “Sure, Con, go ahead. I getcha.”

Lapis stood as well, breaking the hug. “I think I’ll join you, Connie.” She leaned down, giving Ranma another, smaller hug. “We’ll be right back. I promise.”

Steven nodded. “We’ll be here. I might swap out with you when you get back.”

With a squeeze of Steven’s shoulder, Lapis led Connie over to the living room’s Warp Pad. “I know just the place.” With a bright flash, they were gone.

Steven squeezed Ranma’s hand, receiving one back. “Do you want some more tea?”

Ranma nodded. “Sure. Actually, mind if I get it?”

“Go ahead.”

Ranma collected hers and Steven’s mugs with a gentle clink. At the counter, she began pouring the tea. Ranma silently thanked whoever was listening that Steven had an electric kettle instead of a real one.

From behind her, Steven asked. “Are you okay?”

Ranma shrugged. “I honestly don’t know anymore. I thought I was, for years. I thought I was okay with all of it. The Seppuku Contract, the c…feline thing, the fiancées. I guess it took me getting away from it all to realize how Not Okay with it I was.”

“Sometime an outside perspective helps a lot. I learned that the hard way. How are your hands?”

Ranma glanced at her bandages. “They’re okay. I’ve hurt worse.”

“Do you want me to make them stop hurting completely?”

“I appreciate the offer Steven, but I legit like to just let my wounds heal. Also, no offense, the idea of getting spit in my wounds skeeves me out, no matter how healing it is.”

“No offense taken. I get it.”

Ranma opened a cabinet above counter. “D’you guys have any honey?”

“Next one over.”

As Ranma squirted a metric quart of honey into her tea, Steven stood up. “I’ll be right back.” He took the stairs up to his room two by two, his skirt flouncing with each step. He emerged a second later with a small card.

“Ranma, I’m not an expert on this whole trauma thing, so… I think you might want to see a Doctor.”

Ranma snorted as she stirred her tea. “I don’t need no head shrink poking around in my brain. I’ve had enough of people telling me what I’m really thinking for one lifetime.”

“It might help. The whole Outside Perspective thing helped last time.”

Ranma sighed, turning around and sitting on Steven’s counter, mug in hand. “What the heck would I even say to a shrink? ‘Hey doc, I’m allergic to hot water and I meow like a cat, please don’t lock me up?’ I’m too screwed up for any real doctor to help. You know it, I know it.”

Steven’s expression softened. “Ranma, don’t say that.”

“It’s true! How the heck is some rando gonna help me with my Hellbrain?”

Steven smiled. “The kind of rando that is used to non-human problems.” He handed the card over to Ranma, who gave Steven an exasperated look, before taking it. She narrowed her eyes at the card. “Doctor Sodalite, Facet ZXC-Cabochon 4Y44?” She cocked an eyebrow. “A Gem shrink?”

“Yeah! Doctor Sodalite was a scientist on Homeworld before the War started. When she moved to Earth in Era 3, she got a doctorate, and now she helps neurodivergent Gems! Her office is in the Barn, at Little Homeworld!”

Ranma hummed. “Really? I’ve probably passed her a few times.”

“I’m actually a patient of hers. I see her once a week. She’s helped me through a lot over the past few years, her and Doctor Mendelev in Ocean Town.” Steven paused, pondering how to word his next statement. “I… I legit wouldn’t be the same person without them.”

Ranma gave Steven an indulgent smile, before humming with a nod. “Fine. One session.”

Steven smiled. “That’s all I wanted.”

The Warp Pad lit up. Connie and Lapis, covered in red slime and smelling strongly of strawberries, squelched in, looking a lot less angry. “We’re back!”

Ranma grinned. “You two look like you’re feeling better.”

Connie brightened as she sat a strawberry the size of a watermelon on the table. “So do you!”

From Steven: “Ranma’s gonna give Doctor Sodalite a shot!”

Lapis threw her arm around Ranma in a one-sided hug. “Good for you! I’d hug you properly, but I’m covered in Jam.”

Ranma rolled her eyes, wrapping both her arms around Lapis. The strawberry goop squelched between them. “Ew.”

A few hours later, the Pavilion Warp Pad at Little Homeworld lit up, Lapis and Ranma stepping off. Ranma put a hand over her mouth, her stomach gurgling.

Lapis placed a hand on her back. “You good?”

Ranma nodded, swallowing. “Yeah. Still hate Warping.” She shifted the giant strawberry tucked under her arm from one side to the other. “Shall we?”

In the elevator, Lapis and Ranma stood next to each other, enjoying the silence.

Quite by accident, Ranma and Lapis’s knuckles gently brushed together, just for a second.

Each one quickly snuck a glance at each other. A smile, perhaps a hint of a blush.

The door dinged as it reached Ranma’s floor. She stepped out, cradling the giant strawberry. Turning to face Lapis, she grinned. “Wanna get donuts tomorrow morning?”

Lapis flashed a thumbs-up. “Always!”

Ranma smiled, turning to head down the hallway. As the door began to rumble closed, Lapis paused, before darting her foot forward, hooking it around the edge of the door. The sensor activated, the door reopening.

“Hey, Ranma?”

The martial artist turned. “Yeah?”

The bluenette smiled, her hands in her pockets. “I just… I’m proud of ya. I’m glad tonight helped.”

Ranma smiled back. “Thanks, Lapis.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“G’night.”

The elevator door rumbled shut.

Lapis was silent as she rode the elevator up.

She felt… odd.

Not bad, just odd.

When she was around Ranma, her chest felt light. Felt weird. Like a coiled spring. Like a barely suppressed laugh.

But what did that mean?

She had never felt like this before. Well… not quite never.

Years ago, before the end of Era 2, during the whole Barn-Raising debacle. When she and Peridot were Almosts. There were times she had felt like this. Not exactly like this- a lot weaker, to be honest. And that feeling had all but vanished after she had fucked off into the sky with the old barn.

What does it mean?

Was it fear? Was it anxiety? Was it gas?

Lapis’s Gem glowed as her apartment door unlocked. She stepped inside and, on a whim, kicked off her sandals at the entrance.

The studio floor was rough under her bare feet. Statue shavings, the uneven bumps of dripped paint, a small pile of wood shavings from Bismuth’s attempt at whittling when she was over this morning.

A dim light glowed from the TV in the corner. Lapis padded over, smiling. On the Couch With The Good Texture, Peridot and Amethyst lay, cuddling. Amethyst, on the bottom, was sound asleep, snoring as if she were sawing logs, her mouth wide open. On top of her, Peridot lay, eyes glued to the TV.

“Hey, Peridot. I’m back.”

Peridot raised a hand lazily. “Hey, Lapis. How was stuff at Steven’s house?”

“It was… interesting. Whatcha watching?”

“Camp Pining Hearts.”

“Original or Reboot?”

Peridot scoffed dramatically. “Original, of course. It’s like you don’t know me at all.”

Lapis glanced at the screen. “This is season 6, right?”

“Sure is.”

Awoken by the gentle vibrations of Peridot’s voice, Amethyst grumbled, cracking open an eyelid. “Whuzzit? Oh, hey, Lapis. Everything go okay with Ranma?”

Lapis nodded, smiling. “Went great, actually. She got a lot of stuff off her chest.”

“Grand.” Peridot yawned, stretching upward. “I think I shall adjourn to my Evil Lab-Slash-Bedroom and retire to the bed. Amethyst, would you care to join me?”

Amethyst smiled, giving Peridot a peck on the chin. “Always, Peri.”

As they stood up from the couch, Lapis plopped down. “Leave it on. Think I’ll stay up and watch a while.”

Peridot nodded. “Cool. Take the DVD out when you’re done. Night, Lapis.”

Amethyst gave a sleepy two-fingered salute. “Night, Laps.”

“G’night, guys.”

As the two Gay Grapes headed for the bedroom, Lapis snuggled in on the impossibly comfortable couch, relishing the feel of her bare feet against the bumpy fabric. She stretched her arms upward, before leaning against the armrest.

Onscreen was the second-to-last episode of Season 6, just before the season finale where Pierre revealed himself to be the heir to the Shogunate of North Westbuckinghamshiretonfieldville. It was the climax of the episode, where Paulette had been ushered to the side by the bespectacled Primrose, who had joined the cast in Season 5.

Lapis grinned. Sweet, nerdy, meek little Primrose had always been a favorite of hers.

“But Primrose,” Paulette dramatically wailed, “I can’t do something like this! I… I love Percy, I have for years!”

“Forget Percy!” Primrose yelled, tears in her eyes. She whipped off her enormous glasses. “Percy can’t give you what I can! Percy barely looks at you! You know it, I know it!”

Paulette’s eyes were wide. “Primrose…”

Primrose grabbed her fellow camp counselor’s hand, falling onto one knee. “Paulette, I can’t keep what I feel a secret anymore! I’ve wanted to tell you this since the first day I met you last year! When you beat Patty at the spoon race, I saw you smile, and it made my heart soar. When you climbed that flagpole in the middle of that typhoon, just to hang the camp flag back up after it blew down, I wanted to carve your face into the mountain.”

“Primrose, I… I never…”

“Paulette.... I love you. I’ve loved you since the day I met you. I would tear down the mountains and boil the seas for you if you asked. I would take apart every cabin, suck the rust off the nails, and carpenter it all back together again at your command. With you by my side, I could conquer the world. I do love you Paulette, and I feel my heart may burst just saying it!”

Paulette looked absolutely thunderstruck. Her hand reached upward from where it had been clutched in Primrose’s, gently caressing her cheek.

“Primrose…”

With an agonizing slowness, Primrose rose to her feet, their faces getting closer and closer together. The music swelled as their lips met, the sunlight shining through the cabin window bathing them in an almost heavenly light.

To Be Continued… the caption read.

The screen froze, a tiny pause symbol in the front corner.

Lapis, her eyes the size of plates, dropped the remote onto the couch. She sat, stock still, unmoving.

Oh.

Oh.

“I’m catching feelings.” Lapis spoke out loud to the empty room.

A second later, she scrambled to her feet, stumbling frantically across the room to Peridot’s Bedroom.

With a KA-BAM, she flung the door open, sprinted across the room and vaulted onto the bed. She grabbed the half-awake Peridot by the shoulders, shaking her. “Peri! Peri! Perdito, wake up!!!”

Peridot blinked rapidly, fumbling on the bedside table for her glasses. “Lapis?? Whazzhappenin?”

Next to Peridot, where Lapis was inadvertently straddling her, Amethyst spoke very clearly: “Lapis, I’m super flattered, but at least buy me a drink first.”

Lapis blinked. “Oh, sorry, Amethyst.” She readjusted herself so she was sitting on the bed between the two of them. “Peridot…”

What do I say what do I say

Peridot was staring expectantly. “Yesssss…?”

“I-I’m gay.” Lapis answered with the first words that came to mind.

Silence from the two in the bed.

“Bitchin’, me too.” Amethyst drawled.

Peridot stared, dull-eyed. “Ranma?”

Lapis nodded, wide-eyed. “Yeah-huh.”

“Lapis.” Peridot’s voice was deadpan enough that someone should have called an undertaker.

Peridot removed her glasses, pinched the bridge of her nose, and slowwwwlllyyyy ran her hands along the sides of her head, her hair instantly reinflating back into place.

“Lapis. Lapis. Laaaaaaaaaapis. If it took watching the episode where Primrose gets together with that wretched Paulette for you to realize that, I am going to Scream. So. Loud.”

Lapis slowly grew bluer and bluer in the face. “Uh… I mean…”

On the other side of Beach City, Ronaldo Fryman was awoken from his slumber by the hideous sound of an inhuman screech echoing through the countryside, which he immediately added to his theory notes on the Legend of the Beach City Banshee.

Chapter Text

August

Little Homeworld

Ranma’s Apartment

“And the thing is, I know it’s a bad idea. Like, objectively. Almost every friendship I had in Nerima except Ucchan and Konatsu turned into a toxic cesspit. So just having friends like Lapis and Steven and Connie and Amethyst is just asking for trouble, right?”

Lying in her bed, sheets pulled to her waist, Ranma gestured aimlessly as she spoke.

“I’ve had friends before, I’ve even had best friends. It always, always, always goes South. Someone gets jealous, or I offend someone by accident, and it all goes kablooie.”

She paused, staring at the ceiling as she tried to figure out her next sentence. Her companion shifted on the end of the bed.

Eventually, she spoke again. “But that’s the thing: this feels good. Good like it’s never felt before. So with the whole new-town-new-life thing… maybe it could work this time?” She looked at her conversation partner. “What do you think?”

Bella the Doberman silently looked at her from the foot of the bed, before inching closer and licking Ranma’s hand.

Ranma sighed, allowing the licking to continue. “Bella, you don’t know how good you’ve got it. No worries, no curses, no relationship garbage to muddle your days.”

Bella yawned, before nuzzling up close to Ranma, resting her head on Ranma’s stomach.

“Awww.”

From next to her on her pillow, Ranma’s phone pinged with an incoming text.

From: Shep

Everything going okay?

Smiling, Ranma snapped a selfie of her with Shep’s dog, fingers in a peace sign, before sending it.

From: Shep

Awww! Good pooch! Thanks again for watching her.

From: Shep

Sadie sez hi!

From: Ranma

Hi Sadie!!!

From: Ranma

How’s Empire City?

From: Shep

Great! Just got to the venue.

From: Shep

Gotta go set up. ttyl

From: Ranma

Have fun! Break a leg!

Ranma clicked her phone off, and immediately clicked it back on. She opened her lengthy chat history with Lapis, sending her the selfie.

Picture sent, she clicked her phone off, setting it back down.

Several agonizing minutes dragged by.

Ranma busied herself by scratching Bella behind the ear, and specifically not checking her phone to see if she left it on silent and didn’t realize it.

Ping!

Ranma almost dove for her phone, opening the text from Lapis.

From: Lapis!!!

Aaaaaaa too cute!!!

Ranma smiled, satisfied. She loved hearing from Lapis-

Ping!

From: Lapis!!!

The dog is super adorbs too ;)

Ranma could almost feel her heart do a backflip. She gasped, clutching her chest. Her head buzzed as a rush of endorphins surged through her. An enormous grin crossed her face, as the corners of her vision grew wet.

What? What??? What?????

She thinks I’m cute!

Why would she say that??

What is happening?

What is happening to me????

Suddenly, Ranma’s eyes widened as she realized:

She had felt like this before.

Much, much weaker, but the feeling had been there.

Oh.

FUCK.

Ranma snatched her pillow from under her, planting it firmly over her face. Muffled by the fabric, the noise she made was an inarticulate combination of frustration and glee.

The Next Morning

The Beach

A line of footprints led back and forth in the sand, left by Ranma’s sandals as she paced.

Bella’s leash was tied to a post. Her head slowly turned from one end of the trail to the other, watching her Silly Human Dogsitter walk herself back and forth.

Ranma wrung her hands. “Okay! So, maybe this is a crush. So what! Lots of people have crushes! It’s a thing that happens! Just let her down easily, watch as her heart breaks at the same time as yours, never be able to speak to each other again…”

Fool.

Ranma paused and immediately straightened up. “No. That’s the old Ranma talking! I’ve never backed down from a challenge before, and I’m not about to start now!”

She suddenly became aware that a bass-boosted triumphant orchestral fanfare was playing from somewhere nearby. She turned, to see that Onion kid standing there, expressionless, phone held high.

“Uh. Thanks.”

Onion flashed her a thumbs-up, as he clicked his phone off and turned on his heel, toddling in the other direction.

Glancing at the time, Ranma’s eyes lit up. Lapis was due from her morning underwater walk any second now! Ranma turned to face the shifting waves.

Any second now.

Any second now.

Aaaaaaannnnnnyyyyyyyy second now.

Ranma frowned. Usually Lapis would be sauntering out of the waves, shaking the water from her blue hair in a long, sweeping arc, her muscular shoulders rippling with each step-

“Boo.”

Ranma jumped five feet in the air, spinning around. Perched on the Boardwalk railing, her feet dangling, was Lapis, an impish grin on her face. Sat next to her was a lumpy bag from the Big Donut, and a pair of iced coffees.

Ranma stuck her tongue out at the Gem as she laughed (“-that adorable little snortle laugh oh my god, Lapis-“), kicking her feet. “Sorry, Ranma! You were just so focused, and I was gonna surprise you anyway.

Ranma smiled (“-why is her smile so sweet STARS Ranma you drive me crazy-“), her hand behind her head. “Aw, thanks, Lapis! Lemme do my kata and I’ll come up and join ya!”

“Hope you don’t mind if I watch.” Lapis leisurely leaned back on her hands, crossing her legs. Not for the first time, part of her wished she had kept her dress, with which to tantalize her crush below her.

An idea popped into Ranma’s head. “Wanna join me? I can teach you.”

Lapis blinked, caught off guard.

Wait wait where did this come from I was supposed to be wooing Ranma today not the other way around WHY AM I HESITATING SAY YES YOU THUNDERING PEBBLE

“Uh. Sure!” Lapis smiled as she hopped down, leaving their breakfast on the Boardwalk railing. “Be patient with me, I’ve never done this before.”

Ranma grinned. “Naw, it’s easy. I’ll take it slow for ya. Here, let me…”

Ranma took position behind Lapis, gently guiding her arms and elbows into the starting position. Her face out of Ranma’s eyeline, Lapis blushed heavily at the unexpected closeness.

“Okay, hold that position.” Ranma stepped back in front of Lapis, assuming the same position. “This is just a way to center yourself and get ready for the day. Just watch me, and try to copy my movements the best you can.”

Lapis nodded, a funny feeling pounding in her chest. “S-sure.”

“Ready?”

“Yeah. Let’s do it.”

Ranma began her kata, slowly shifting her arms forward into a punch. As Lapis moved with her, she shifted herself forward, into another slow punch, followed by a kick. Up the Beach, Bella slowly got comfortable, enjoying the rising sunlight.

Ranma shot a glance over her shoulder, to see Lapis slowly drifting out of position, her eyes wide. “You paying attention?”

Lapis blinked, flushing deep blue, jerking back into position.

The two continued, shifting slowly from punch to kick to sweep to jab.

Lapis found herself slowly getting steadier and steadier with each iteration. As the routine set in, she found herself relaxing, feeling peaceful. She was almost sorry it was over when Ranma slowly stood up straight and bowed to her. Lapis bowed back after only a moment’s hesitation, only to be surprised with a hug from Ranma, while was laughing cheerfully.

“That was good! Not bad for a first time, Lapis!”

The two sat on the weathered wood of the Boardwalk rail, their legs dangling beneath them. The waves slid in and out, a comforting white noise over the sunrise.

The iced coffee cup was slick with cold condensation that dripped over Ranma’s fingers, the straw rattling as she sucked the last of the rich beverage from the cup.

Below them, Bella stared up at their breakfast with a pleading eye. Ranma smiled, swallowing the last bite of her chocolate donut. “Sorry, Bella. This isn’t for pooches.”

Lapis chewed thoughtfully on her cinnamon roll. “That was a lot of fun. Can I join you again sometime?”

Another of Ranma’s sweet smiles. “I’d like that, Lapis. I’d like that a lot.”

“Steven and Connie got me into yoga once, about a year or two ago. The kata was a lot like that.”

Ranma was surprised. “You do yoga?”

With a grin, Lapis leaned back on the railing, her hands supporting her. She raised her leg very, very high, holding it steady above her.

Ranma could feel the blood rush to her head. This shouldn’t be affecting her- she could raise her own leg just as high. But seeing Lapis do it…

Do it, Saotome. It’s now or never. Be Brave.

Swiveling back to a seated position, Lapis bit her lip. That funny feeling was back in her stomach. “Hey, Ranma…”

Ranma suddenly felt her palms fill with sweat. She wondered if that would be enough to activate Guy Mode. If it did… let’s not think about that.

The two suddenly both spoke at once.

“Will you go out with me?”                      “D’you wanna go on a date with me?”

They both froze. Their eyes met, their faces dumbstruck.

Lapis broke the silence first, laughing into a snort. Ranma was quick to follow, giggling and sliding backward on the railing. “Did that just happen?!”

Lapis nodded, a joyful tear poking from one eye. “We’re just a couple a’ clods, aren’t we?”

Ranma nodded, smiling. “I guess so.” She offered a hand to Lapis, who gladly took it.

“I would love to go out with you, Lapis.”

“I would also love to date you, Ranma.”

Ranma’s phone alarm beeped, breaking the silence. Ranma fished it from her pocket, her eyes wide. “CRAP! I’ve got my morning class at the community center in a few minutes! And I’ve got my session with Doc Sodalite after that, and I gotta take Bella back to Sadie’s place- I gotta go!” She hopped off the railing, giving Lapis an apologetic look as she untied Bella’s leash. “I’m so sorry-“

Lapis smiled, waving her hands. “It’s fine, go! We’ll figure out when to have our date later. Come by my place when you’re done later!”

Ranma grinned as her heart flip-flopped in her chest. “Right! Talk atcha later!” She turned, Bella running alongside her, Ranma’s shoes clacking on the wood of the Boardwalk as she ran. Unseen by anyone, she smiled, a couple of familiar verses coming to mind. She sang softly under her breath:

”So at least until tomorrow,
I’ll… never fall in love again….”

Behind her, Lapis stood up straight on the railing. Her wings spread, and she flung herself into the sky. She rocketed upward, high above Beach City, stopping only when the town was a simple grid beneath her, the people barely noticeable specks.

Up among the clouds, where only the birds could hear her, Lapis squirmed with delight and spread her arms wide, letting a long and joyous squeal spill forth.

Little Homeworld

The Barn

Doctor Sodalite’s Office

Doctor Sodalite was a former Corruption, beautiful white lines striping along her royal blue skin like vitiligo. A long ponytail hung down her back, draped over the back of her chair. Her clothes, a suit in the style of a well-dressed human had been custom-tailored to accommodate her extra two arms, leftovers from her Corruption rather than any Fusion-related factors. Her small Gem sat in the middle of her cheek, giving the impression of a mole under her eye.

Her office was a tasteful blue and gold, with a large comfy couch for her patients.

“How have you been feeling since our last session?”

Ranma, seated cross-legged on the couch, shrugged. “I dunno. Pretty good? Lapis and I asked each other out.”

Dr. Sodalite brightened. “Congrats! Do you have any plans?”

“A few. I’m gonna be going over to her place upstairs when we finish here.”

“Good. You mentioned that was a minor point of anxiety for you.”

Ranma gave a half-nod. “I mean, not too bad? Lapis and I have been best friends since I moved here in April, so we already had a… a thing going.”

Sodalite nodded, adjusting her notebook from one set of hands to the other. “True, but I mostly referred to your anxiety over romance in general that you mentioned.”

Ranma nodded sheepishly. “I guess I thought it over, and… it seems worth it. This feels good.”

“I’m glad.”

Ranma paused. “…Can we actually talk about that today? The whole romance thing from the past few years?”

“If you’d like, and if you think there’s more ground to cover there.”

Ranma uncrossed her legs, leaning back. “It’s less about the romance thing, more of a… a tangent, I guess? Cause, now that I’m on the outside lookin’ in, I’m startin’ to realize some stuff about Akane.”

“Like what?”

“Like… I always knew me and Akane were in the same boat, in the whole forced-into-marriage thing. But I’m only just realizing just how much a… a victim of circumstance she was. My family and hers were both super traditional. Traditional in all the really bad ways. They put us into an arranged marriage, fer cryin’ out loud! No matter what either of us wanted, the Schools had to be united! And… and I don’t really know all of what Akane went through at home before I moved in.”

Ranma glanced up at Dr. Sodalite. “What all have I told you about ‘Kane?”

“That she has extreme anger management issues, was physically and emotionally abusive to you, and was likely dealing with some very internalized homophobia.”

Ranma chuckled bitterly, snapping her fingers. “Yep. Nailed it. Got it in one. And all that was… I won’t say it was the entire reason I left, but it sure didn’t help none.”

“So what are your thoughts on Akane now?”

Ranma was silent for several seconds. Eventually: “I… I can’t forgive her for everything she put me through. I don’t know if I’ll ever get to that point. But… I do understand. I understand why she was like that. Whatever neuroses she had combined with how she was brought up, the engagement, Kuno, the Hentai Horde… she just had a less healthy outlet for it than I do, or ever did.”

Dr. Sodalite hummed thoughtfully. “Jumping off of that point, do you think Akane had a factor in the other subject we discussed last week? Your gender identity?”

Ranma took a deep breath. She had known this topic was coming. “What I am, and what I can be… I’m not gonna say I’d know exactly one way or another if we’d never met, but Akane sure loved to throw the word ‘Pervert’ around, and you can believe that got burned into my brain. Any time I catch myself being okay with she/her pronouns, or thinking about trying new clothes or makeup, I hear her voice yelling and I retreat. It’s either her voice, or Pops’ voice, hootin’ and hollerin’ about bein’ manly. Now I’m so messed up and confused, I can’t even shower with my eyes open.”

She smirked bitterly. “I haveta fumble around for the soap and stuff, cause if I open my eyes, I see myself, and I feel like I’m gonna puke.” She raised her eyes to the Gem across from her. “That’s weird, right? I’m able to look at Guy Mode Me my whole life, then I spend a few months as a girl constantly, and I can’t even look in a mirror without having a panic attack?”

Dr. Sodalite shook her head. “Of course not! Lots of people have problems with their body or body image. Lots of Gems for that matter. Do you know how many Gems I get who have trouble not trying to rip their new Corruption horns out of their heads, or scrub off their new stripes?”

Ranma’s eyes were downcast. “Yeah, but they’re… y’know… valid.”

“And you aren’t?”

Ranma muttered “Didn’t say that…”

Dr. Sodalite sighed, straightening her glasses with one of her lower arms. “Ranma, you’re very blunt, and a realist, so I won’t sugarcoat your pills. I believe you’re almost certainly suffering from gender dysphoria.”

Ranma gaped briefly, before shaking her head. “Naw, naw, doc, you got it wrong. I’m a Guy, that’s all there is to it. If I were trans, things’d be a lot easier, but… I’m just not.”

Dr. Sodalite gave a slightly amused smile. “Ranma, what if I were to tell you that wanting to be a girl, and wanting to be transgender, are symptoms of being transgender?”

Ranma cocked an eyebrow. “Symptoms?”

“I’ll admit, not the best word choice, but my point stands. You’ve said you’re okay with using she/her pronouns?”

“Yeah.”

“And you dislike he/him?”

“I mean, yeah…”

“And you prefer being in your Female Form, as opposed to your Male Form?”

Ranma’s silence spoke volumes.

Dr. Sodalite reached out a supportive hand. “Look, it’s ultimately your choice, one way or another. And I’m not saying you should run out and transition right this second. But you are in an extremely unique position compared to most, and I think it would be remiss to not at least give it a try.”

Ranma gave her a tired smile. “I… I’ll try, Doc. I can’t promise nothin’, but I’ll try it.”

Dr. Sodalite smiled. “That’s all I ask.”

Lapis clicked through Peridot’s fastidiously organized DVD collection. It consisted of, naturally, every Camp Pining Hearts DVD collection ever released, including the season box sets and the Omnibus Collector’s Edition, which came with a Genuine Imitation CPH Hat.

Tucked in the Spot Of Shame at the bottom of the bookcase was the short-lived reboot, which had been cancelled to universal acclaim after half a season. Next to it was the weirdly popular animated spinoff from the original series, Paulette and the Powerhouses. Lapis could never comprehend humans’ weird obsession with band-based spinoffs. Crammed next to it were a handful of anime collections that Peridot had deemed Worthy of the shelf.

Peridot sat behind Lapis, cross-legged on the Couch With The Good Texture. Her nose was only a few feet away from her tablet screen, a look of slowly-increasing irritation on her face. The Genuine Imitation CPH Hat was perched on top of her hair-point. Pumpkin Junior Junior was curled up next to her, snoring softly. Bismuth leaned over the back of the couch, studying the screen intently.

Lapis glanced over her shoulder. “Whatcha workin’ on, guys?”

Still dinking away at her tablet, Peridot answered first: “Crunching architectural calculations.  Bismuth is still wanting to make Little Homeworld’s walls stronger.”

Bismuth gave Lapis a half-amused, half-exasperated glance. “You can thank those Quartzes in the Fight Club for this one.”

Lapis winced. “Agh. That sucks.”

Bismuth leaned her head back. “It’s the same every time. Two Quartzes, or Agates, or Rubies get too rowdy, their play fight gets too big, a wall breaks down-“

Peri cut in. “-Aquamarine 11A-AA1 comes out of her apartment-“

“-Stinking drunk-“

“-and asks if we’ve come to our senses and are rebelling against Steven-“

“-We tell her no-“

“-she starts crying and yelling-“

“-Angel Aura starts knocking everyone’s heads together-“

“Rinse and Repeat.” The two finished in unison.

Lapis blinked, slowly smiling. “Did you two… rehearse that?”

Peridot nodded smugly. “Yes we did.”

“You guys oughta make it a comedy act. The Award-Winning Comedy Duo, Pepto-Bisdot.”

Bismuth chuckled, sitting on the couch’s arm, which made an audible squeeeaaak under her massive frame. “What about you? What’chu got goin’?”

Lapis grinned. “Ranma’s gonna come over this afternoon. We’re gonna figure out our first date, aaaaand I wanna see if she’d like CPH.”

Bismuth shook her head amusedly. “You guys and that camping show, I do declare.”

Peridot raised an eyebrow. “You’re one to talk, with that furniture show you obsess over.”

Bismuth pointed a finger. “Humans are excellent at DIY. I just… want to share the joy.”

Peridot smirked. “Uh-uh. Sure.”

Lapis winked. “Riiiiiiiiiiight.”

“Keep it up, you little punks. I assembled this apartment, I can disassemble it just as easy, drop you both into Aquamarine’s apartment. All it takes it the right nails removed.”

Finalizing her decision, Lapis stood, holding a pair of box sets. “D’you guys wanna join us? I’m sure Ranma would love to have you guys.”

Peridot shrugged. “I’m not doing anything this afternoon.”

Bismuth shook her head. “Sorry, Laz, but I’ve got some repairs to make on the bottom floor, then Pearl and her girlfriends have invited me to trivia. The Angry Orange One doesn’t feel like going tonight, so they need a full team.”

Lapis forced the spike of irritation she felt down low, drowning it. “That’s… great, Bismuth. Hope you have fun.”

Bismuth’s expression softened. “Look, I like that Jasper about as much as you do. But Pearl says she’s changed, and that’s enough for me.”

Lapis sighed, glaring at the floor. “I get that, I do. I don’t like any part of Jasper participating in what Pearl’s got going, but I also don’t wanna be a jerk. I’m glad she’s turned over a new leaf. She can just feel free to turn it over approximately 3000 feet away from me and mine.”

Peridot gave Lapis a smile. “At least you two can be in the same room together now without trying to murder each other.”

“Exactly. I think we have an unspoken agreement. She doesn’t talk to me, and I don’t use massive water arms to throw her into Lower Earth Orbit.”

The tension was broken by a knock at the door.

Lapis gasped, tossing the box sets onto the coffee table. “That’s Ranma! She’s here! How do I look? Never mind, I know I look good. Coming!”

Peridot and Bismuth shared an amused glance as Lapis quickly crossed to the front door.

Flinging the door open, Lapis was surprised with a tight hug from a smiling Ranma. With a laugh, Lapis hugged her back. “Miss me or something? It’s only been a couple hours!”

Ranma giggled, pulling back. “I dunno, I just feel… good. I feel really good, Lapis.”

Sliding her shoes off as she entered, Ranma’s eyes caught sight of the massive rainbow-haired woman standing behind Lapis’s couch, hand on her hip. Her eyes widened as her brain activity suddenly focused in on one fact:

Biiiiiiiiiiig.

Seeing Ranma’s reaction, Lapis smiled impishly. “Bismuth, this is Ranma, you finally get to meet her. Ranma, this is Bismuth.”

Ranma, eyes still wide, extended a hand in greeting, which was promptly swallowed by Bismuth’s enormous hand. “I-it’s good to finally meet you, Beefsmuth- I mean, Beefsmuth- I mean-“

Bismuth laughed, a deep, hearty laugh. “Yeah, I tend to have that effect on people.” She gave Lapis a wink. “I’ll go ahead and get out of your hair. You crazy kids have fun!” She waved a hand over her shoulder as she lumbered out the door.

Lapis reached over and gently nudged Ranma’s open mouth shut. Peridot, perched on the back on the couch, sighed dreamily. “She. Is. So. Strong.”

Lapis looped an arm around Ranma, pulling her close. “We need to see if Bismuth will bridal carry you. It’s a religious experience. Have you ever been bridal carried, Ranma?”

Recovering her senses, Ranma turned to Lapis. “Nope, never. My Pops threw me over his shoulder plenty of times, but that’s about it.”

With only a quick glance to Peridot, Lapis suddenly lunged downward, literally sweeping Ranma off her feet. One arm supported the back of Ranma’s knees, the other behind her shoulder blades.

Ranma, quite unexpectedly, found herself staring up at the very built Gem she had developed a crush on, holding her very firmly, looking down at her with a smug, confident grin.

Ranma could feel her cheeks burning as they heated up, turning as red as her hair. “I… I… I…”

Lapis leaned close. Ranma could see her slightly pointed Gem Fangs, feel her breath on her neck. “Oh yeah. Gems are strong. Did you not know that?”

Standing on the back of the couch now, Peridot pumped her hands. “Take her higher! Take her higher!!!!”

Ranma, her brain still sputtering, her heart still pounding a staccato beat in her chest, suddenly found herself propelled upward as Lapis tossed her into the air. She suddenly stopped before she could go back down, held aloft and unwavering by a single hand on her butt.

Lapis gave a smug hmph. “Peri, my girlfriend is so light! It’s like holding a bunch of grapes.”

Lapis’s hand on her butt. The effortless way she lifted Ranma. Her boundless confidence. The G-Word. It was all too much.

Overflowing with warm fuzzies, Ranma fainted dead away, foaming at the mouth.

90 Minutes Later…

Pierre stared at the woman who had raised him, slackjawed. “Mama… what are you trying to tell me?”

Pierre’s mother wiped her eye with a dramatic handkerchief. “Pierre… my sweet, sweet boy… you aren’t adopted like we told you. You’re our biological son.”

Pierre staggered at the news. “You… you’re my mother? I wasn’t adopted into the Davidson Shogunate Family North Westbuckinghamshiretonfieldville?”

His mother nodded. “No… but your brother was.”

As the music swelled, Pierre turned to meet his brother Peter’s eyes in shock.

A caption faded in that screamed TO BE CONTINUED…

As the credits rolled up the screen, Lapis turned to see Ranma’s reaction. “So? What did you think?”

Ranma blinked, trying to take in everything she had seen in the past two episodes. “Well. That was. Uh. That was. A thing. That I watched. And I’m really glad you like it.”

Lapis chuckled, putting a hand on Ranma’s thigh. “Ranma, it’s fine. CPH is kind of an acquired taste. It’s okay if you don’t like it.”

Ranma breathed a sigh of relief. “Okay, good. I’m sorry, Lapis, I really don’t think this show is for me. I think I’ve had enough romance-relationship drama for one life.”

On Lapis’s other side, Peridot snorted. “It’s just as well. The Shogun Inheritance plotline never went anywhere. Come next season, it turns out the character we thought was Peter Davidson was actually his evil twin brother, David Peterson.”

Ranma blinked rapidly. “Peridot, I know you were explaining this show to me, but all my brain heard was vuvuzela noises.”

Smiling, Peridot stood up. “Well, this has been fun, but I’m feeling a little people’d out. I’m gonna retire to my Evil Lab-Slash-Bedroom and recharge a while.”

Lapis flashed a thumbs up. “Do we need to keep it down out here?”

“No, I’ll be fine. I’ll let you know, though.”

“Kay. See you, Peri.”

As Peridot crossed to her Bedroom Lab, Lapis turned to Ranma. “So! Anything you’d rather watch?”

Ranma pointed to the DVD shelf. “Is that a Sailor Moon cassette on the bottom shelf?”

Lapis crouch-walked over to the shelf. “Yeah, Peri picked it up. She’s been trying to get me to watch it for ages.”

Ranma’s eyes widened as she realized something. “I… I actually love Sailor Moon. I haven’t seen it in ages.”

Lapis held up the tape. “It’s the English dub. Is that okay?”

Ranma froze, horror mounting behind her eyes.

“There’s a dub?”

“Is… is that bad?”

Ranma leaned forward. “Lapis, English dubs are never as good as the originals. Put that baby in right now.”

Grinning ear to ear, Lapis popped the tape into the VCR with a clickclickclick. As the tape began to load up, Lapis slid back onto the Couch With The Good Texture. Her side brushed against Ranma’s, leaning back next to her new girlfriend. Offering a sincere smile to Ranma’s adorably apprehensive face, she wrapped her hand around hers.

Ranma felt her heart beat just a little faster in her chest.

Lapis nuzzled Ranma’s shoulder. “Is this okay?”

Ranma nodded. “Yeah. This is very okay.”

90 More Minutes Later…

“OH MY GOD, THAT WAS NOT OKAY!” Ranma roared, her arms in the air.

As the English theme song blared over the credits, Lapis leaned back on the arm of the couch, smiling amusedly. “Yes? Do tell.”

Ranma jumped to her feet. “Whaddaya mean they made Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune cousins? They’re girlfriends! They were adorable in the original, and this version spent 30 minutes saying No Homo over and over! Oh yeah, can’t show the kiddies those spooooky gays, let’s make them kissing cousins instead! What were they thinking?!”

Grinning, Lapis watched as Ranma paced back and forth, ranting with righteous rage. “And am I stupid, or did they make Zoicite a girl instead of a gay man?! And did they add Daily Lessons the end???? This is not a Saturday Morning Moral Cartoon, this is supposed to be action! With awesome transformation sequences!”

As Ranma was hollering, several things happened in quick succession over just a few seconds.

From above them, there was a muffled CLANG, followed by a loud KA-BLAM that shook the whole building.

Through the glass balcony door, a brightly-colored Quartz-shaped blur could be seen falling past the balcony.

All the lights in the Barn went off with an audible HUMMmmmmmm…

There was a distant, muffled thwump from far below.

In the darkened studio, lit only by the sun from outside, Ranma paused. “Uh. What just happened?”

From the other side of the studio, the sound of Peridot cursing as she stumbled through her pitch-dark bedroom could be heard. Lapis slid open the balcony door, and the two stepped outside.

Far below, a laughing Quartz could be seen, several inches deep in an impact crater. Another Quartz and a Ruby could be seen, running toward them while also laughing boisterously.

Above them, on the roof of the Barn, something huge and metal poked over the side. It took Ranma a moment to recognize it as the enormous Solar Panel-Windmill hybrid that suppled the Barn with power, toppled over on its side.

Peridot suddenly appeared at their sides, glaring upward. With a shriek of horror, she vaulted the balcony railing, the metal brackets attached to her boots magnetizing to the metal inside the Barn’s walls. She began to sprint vertically up the wall toward the roof, making incomprehensible noises of rage.

Ranma narrowed her eyes, looking down. “Is that… Zebra and Purple Jasper? What are those morons doing?!”

Lapis, barely suppressing a laugh, answered. “I think Purple and Zebra got in a spar, and Zebra got thrown through the Windmill.”

Far below them, Bismuth could be seen stomping across the Pavilion towards the two guilty Quartzes, waving her arms and shouting angrily.

An enraged shriek from above. “WHAT MANNER OF TERRIBLE THING HAS BEFALLEN MY POOR POWER APPARATUS?!!?”

Peridot suddenly stomped down the wall, past the balcony again, towards the ground. “This’ll take hours to repair! HOURS!!!!”

Ranma shook her head. “Ai-yi-yi. I’m gonna have to absolutely let them have it, next class.”

“Shouldn’t you get down there and discipline them? You’re their sensei, and all that.”

Ranma shook her head. “Nah, it’s my day off. They get to stew in their guilt and dread for the next two days until the next class.” She pointed down into the Pavilion. “Plus, looks like Angel Aura has those two nimrods under control.”

Far below, the two guilty Quartzes sat with their heads hung as Bismuth, Peridot, and an approaching and enraged Angel Aura Quartz simultaneously verbally castigated them.

Ranma sat down on the floor of the balcony, her back to the railing. “There goes our show-watchin’ afternoon.”

Lapis plopped down next to her. “Welp, I’m already bored enough to crack. What do you want to get up to?”

Ranma hummed thoughtfully, staring up at the sky, enjoying the afternoon sunshine and breeze.

After a moment, she flashed Lapis a look. “Well… we did want to figure out that first date of ours.”

Lapis’s face brightened. “Thinking about it… I still owe you that underwater walk.”

A lightbulb went off in Ranma’s head. “AH! That would actually give me a chance to try something I’ve been thinking about for ages. Here, hang on…”

Ranma paused where she was. She closed her eyes, touching her fingers and thumbs together, her hands in a circle before her.

Before Lapis could say anything, she felt the hairs on the back of her neck begin to prickle and stand up. The energy in the air changed somehow. Suddenly, for maybe half a second, Ranma glowed a deep blue, before the glow faded from view.

Ranma opened her eyes, smiling. “Okay! All set!”

“Uh… Ranma… what was that?”

Ranma snapped her fingers. “Oh, right! You probably don’t know what Ki is! Ah, that was a technique a scary old lady taught me, to basically use the energy created by my body to do cool stuff.”

Lapis blinked. “…cool stuff.”

“Yeah! I mean, I mostly used to use it during fights and stuff, but since I don’t have to fight for my life every freaking day anymore, I’ve been outta practice. I figured, hey, why not see if I can use it for other stuff!”

“Huh. I don’t know what any of that means, but neat! And like I said before, I can make sure you have plenty of air while underwater.”

“Awesome!” Ranma bent her arm, offering it to Lapis. “Shall we?”

With a grin, Lapis spread her wings, propelling herself into the air. She swept around Ranma, looping her hands under Ranma’s armpits, effortlessly lifting her off the ground.

Ranma found herself laughing as she watched the world slide by under her, the Pavilion and the rest of Little Homeworld passing under them as Lapis headed over the cliffs and toward the sea.

The Atlantic grew larger and larger as Lapis flew Ranma over it, the beach vanishing in an instant as they headed out to sea.

Ranma’s eyes were filled with stars, her braid flickering in the wind behind them. “Lapis, this is so amazing! I’ve never flown like this before!”

Lapis squeezed Ranma’s shoulders below her. “I used to take Steven flying like this, back when he was little. He’d ride on my back, and we’d just tour around.”

Ranma glanced backward over her shoulder. The coast was fading rapidly behind them.

“How far out are we going?”

As if on cue, Lapis stopped in midair, quickly hoisted Ranma above her head, and slam-dunked her downward toward the sea.

With a thrilled whoop and a cackle, Ranma assumed the cannonball position, vanishing beneath the surface with a splunk.

Lapis grinned. “Yote.”

Ranma floated, weightless, scrunched into a ball, her eyes and mouth squeezed tightly shut.

It took a moment for her to realize that, not only was she not cold, she wasn’t wet. Her eyes weren’t even burning from the saltwater.

Ranma slowly cracked her eyes open, slowly chancing an inhale.

Her skin tingled warmly as her Ki barrier held around her, keeping the water out. Around her head, a giant air pocket shimmered, the water pressed flat around it. It was like wearing an invisible diving helmet. She breathed deeply, oxygen filling her lungs.

Around her, in every direction, was an endless void of the bluest blue. Ranma gently paddled herself in a circle, taking it all in. She had never been this far out to sea before, or this far underwater.

A muted splash from above her as Lapis floated downward, a hand on her hip. Ranma had never seen anyone so cool.

Lapis smirked. “So? What do you think?”

Ranma shook her head in amazement. “Lapis… this is amazing.”

Lapis reached her hand forward, a single index finger pointing. It seamlessly slid into Ranma’s air pocket, booping the martial artist on the nose.

Ranma flinched, expecting water to come pouring in. The air pocket, however, remained unyielding, even as Lapis removed her hand from it.

“Why didn’t the bubble pop?”

Lapis propelled herself in a circle around Ranma, manipulating currents to push her around. “It’s less of a bubble, more just the controlled absence of water.”

Ranma poked her own finger in and out of the pocket. “And how am I able to breathe so well in here?”

“Do you want the technical answer or the short answer?”

“Is the short answer ‘Space Magic’?”

Lapis nodded with a sheepish shrug. “Space Magic.” She took Ranma’s hand in hers. “Come on.”

Angling the two of them downward, Lapis began to kick, Ranma joining her. The two slowly propelled themselves deeper and deeper below the surface.

Quickly the ocean floor came into view. Ranma inhaled deeply in shock. Lapis snuck a glance at her, smiling.

The ocean floor was teeming with sea life. Fish big and small flittered around, in a hundred different colors. They swam aimlessly in various directions, or slipped through intricate outcroppings of coral.

A few feet ahead of them, the sunken remains of a small boat lay on the sandy floor, an enormous crack in its barnacle-encrusted hull. As a fish swam past the crack, an eel popped out, quick as a hiccup, snaring the fish in its razor-sharp jaws before retreating back into its lair.

A rapturous smile on her face, Ranma swam through the water to get a better look. The fish, accustomed to larger animals as long as they weren’t trying to eat them, gently slid out of the way

“Lapis… this is so beautiful…”

Lapis, caught up in staring at the happiness on Ranma’s face, her eyes soft, barely caught herself from saying something cheesy like ‘Yeah, you are.’

Ranma downright squealed in delight as a small, placid shark the size of a dog swam lazily into view. Not looking for a meal, it regarded these two strange visitors to its underwater kingdom with a beady-eyed interest.

Ranma slowly reached forward, gently running her fingers along the shark’s snout. Its hide was rough under her touch. Lapis swam into view just above the two of them, stroking the shark along its dorsal fin. Their hands grew closer and closer, eventually meeting on top of the shark’s head, their fingers intertwining. The shark permitted the momentary distraction before turning and continuing on its way with a flick of its tail.

An idea popped into Lapis’s head. “Hey Ranma, how strong is that Ki barrier of yours?”

Ranma shrugged. “Dunno. Never really used Ki like this.”

“Want to test it out?”

Ranma gave an interested smile. “What did you have in mind?”

Lapis squeezed her hand. “Want to go even deeper?”

A moment later, the two zoomed along underwater, a massive trail of bubbles spreading behind them.

Lapis manipulated the currents sweeping them along with mere flexes of her fingers, her other hand held tightly in Ranma’s.

Ranma laughed incredulously, still amazed that this was even happening. Out of the corner of her eye, Lapis’s hair shook and flowed through the water behind them, her eyes and smile filled with an eagerness and determination.

Now miles and miles from any shore, Lapis raised her other hand, slowly letting the currents dissipate, the two of them slowly drifting to a halt.

Before them, the sandy floor suddenly dropped off, a deep abyss spread before them. The deepest, darkest of the sea, where few creatures dared to swim, and fewer still called home.

Ranma whistled. “That is cooool.”

Lapis’s hand suddenly tightened in her own. Ranma looked to her side. Lapis was staring, down at the darkness, her eyes wide, somewhere else.

“Lapis? Are you-“

-being crushed at every inch of her/their body/bodies/body at once no light no direction no up no down a madness a rage filling her/her/them/they praying for the end of time to hurry up and arrive cause if I have to spend another minute with Me You don’t think I could survive blue orange green two hands four hands six hands grasping in every direction poison choking drowning drowning no sign of land you are coming down with me hand in unlovable hand-

The sudden sensation of being shook violently.

Lapis inhaled deeply, gasping as she came back to herself. She was still deep in the ocean, she was still herself, and she was still with Ranma-

Who was floating next to her, eyes wide, pointing at her distinctly no-longer-enclosed-in-an-air-pocket head.

“Oh my gosh!!!” Lapis waved her hands, the water quickly retracting from Ranma’s head. Ranma gasped for breath, her hand on Lapis’s shoulder for support. Lapis grabbed Ranma’s hands. “Ranma! Are you okay?! I’m so sorry- I was- oh gosh, I-“

Ranma waved her hand, coughing. “It- it’s ‘kay! I’m okay, Lapis!” She grasped Lapis’s arms just as tightly. “Are you okay? You zoned out, I was super worried about you!

Lapis glanced around frantically. “I… but… but you could have died!”

“Lapis, I can swim. I would have swam up and breathed if I had to.” Ranma squeezed Lapis’s hands, looking into her eyes. “What happened? Are you okay?”

Lapis took a deep breath, beginning calm down. “I… yeah. Yeah, I’m okay. Sorry, bad memories. I can’t, I’m sorry, I know it was my idea, but I can’t go down there.”

“It’s okay. Anything you want to talk about?”

“I am not nearly in the right mental state to talk about that today.” Thick tears, thicker than a human’s, slipped from the corners of Lapis’s eyes, visible only for a second before dissipating into the water around them.

Ranma nodded, settling for pulling Lapis close in a gentle hug. After only a moment, Lapis wrapped her arms around her girlfriend.

Their heads on each other’s shoulders, the two held each other close, silently floating underwater. Their legs gently intertwined with each other, the better to be closer.

Gravity and their own buoyancy slowly let them drift downward, settling on the ocean floor. Ranma slowly adjusted herself to sit on her bottom, Lapis held in her lap. The blue gem sniffled softly into Ranma’s shoulder, held safely in her arms.

Eventually, a wet chuckle from Lapis. “I really like your hair.”

Ranma smiled. “Do ya?”

Lapis nodded, her hand tracing upward to gently toy with Ranma’s braid. She let it slip from finger to finger, sifting the hair beneath her thumb.

With a small laugh, Ranma kicked her feet beneath her, propelling herself upward to a “standing” position. She lifted Lapis, holding her against her.

Both were suddenly very aware of their closeness to each other.

Ranma felt Lapis’s hand on her cheek.

Her heart was pounding in her chest.

Her stomach felt like a coiled spring, about to unwind and bounce away.

Be Brave.

Ranma swallowed. “Lapis… can… can I…”

Lapis answered her by cutting her off, leaning forward.

Their lips met in the air pocket, and time stopped.

Behind her closed eyes, Lapis could swear she could see fireworks, in every color, exploding against the darkness that was the back of her eyelids. Like she was being bathed in light, a loud, happy, celebratory burst in the night.

A flock of butterflies took off in Ranma’s stomach as she kissed Lapis’s impossibly soft lips. She had kissed before (Mikado Sanzenin didn’t count), but Akane’s kisses were hard, hostile, as if she were trying to prove her dominance even then. This? This was such an opposite, a welcoming embrace, a weight being lifted.

The kiss broke, the two leaning back away from each other. Both had stars in their eyes, utterly starstruck and lovestruck.

“That was…” Ranma breathed.

Lapis nodded. “Yeah.”

“Can we-“

“Yes, absolutely yes.”

The two’s lips met again, and the fireworks began again, just as bright and loud and strong. Ranma felt like her heart was about to fly away, so perfect was this floating kiss. Lapis felt new tears, these ones for a different reason, begin to trickle from the sides of her eyes.

The two broke apart again, giggling joyously in each other’s faces. They stared into each others eyes once again, then glanced to the side.

An anglerfish, having drifted up from the depths, floated there at eye level. It regarded them with dull, ugly eyes, resembling a disembodied troll head more than anything else.

Ranma shrieked, whipping Lapis behind her as she raised a hand, her Ki spiking. The water around them suddenly grew significantly colder.

“Hiryu Shoten Ha!”

Half a second later, the surface of the water exploded as a giant mass of ice blasted into the air, jagged icicles splintering and falling in every direction. In the center of the mass of ice, an anglerfish, frozen solid, knew the blue sky for the first and only time in its life, before the small iceberg came crashing back down, very slowly beginning to melt in the sun.

Lapis blinked, mindless to the goosebumps sprouting on her skin in now-frigid water. Ranma in front of her, one hand raised protectively in front of her, the other pointed at the area where an anglerfish had just been, now floating with tiny, immaculate ice cubes.

“Ranma… what was that?!”

Ranma panted, her adrenaline slowly calming down. “Uh… Ki attack. It’s this thing called the Soul of Ice, I can use it to make Cold Weather Ki… yeah.”

“Huh.” Lapis looked up at the iceberg, gently bobbing on the surface high above. She linked an arm around Ranma. “My girlfriend is so. Strong.”

At Lapis’s use of the g-word, something flip-flopped deep inside Ranma. She felt something beginning to crack and crumble, something she had been thinking of for a long time.

Lapis’s hand trailed down and squeezed Ranma’s. “Want to head back?”

Ranma, startled out of her reverie, turned to look at her girlfriend. “Y… yeah. Yeah, let’s head on back to Beach City. I think we’ve had enough excitement for one date.”

The sun was setting over Rehoboth Bay as Ranma and Lapis waded up the Beach. The orange light sparkled off the waves.

Steven’s House could be seen just up the hill from where they’d arrived, the statue shrouded in shadow from the enormous hill behind it.

Ranma dispelled her Ki barrier around her skin. It had worked perfectly- she wasn’t even wet. She plopped down on her butt, staring out at the sea. “Home again, home again.”

Lapis sat down next to her, her legs sprawled before her. She leaned back against her hands, laying her head on Ranma’s shoulder.

The two sat in silence, relishing the sound of the waves sliding in and out. A seagull screeched overhead, this one thankfully absent a kettle.

Lapis hummed in satisfaction. “Today was really nice.”

Ranma sighed, leaning against her, a tired smile on her face. “Yeah, it was.”

“It was a little different from my usual route I take on my walks, but… it was fun.” She turned and looked at Ranma. “I had a lot of fun today, Ranma.”

Ranma wrapped an arm around the bluenette, holding her tightly. “Me too, Lapis.”

Silence reigned for several seconds, as Ranma tried to muster the courage to say what she’d been thinking all day.

“Hey, Lapis?”

Lapis, her eyes resting, let out a sleepy “Hmm?”

Be Brave.

“Can… can I ask you a weird favor?”

Lapis popped an eye open. “Yeah, of course. What’s up?”

“Can… can you call me your girlfriend again?”

Lapis’s eyes slowly slid open as she processed what she’d just heard.

Is this happening?

She sat up, looking straight at Ranma with an impish grin. “You mean… you want me to call you my girrrrlfriend?”

Ranma let out a shrill giggle, clapping her hand to her mouth as her cheeks lit up. Her hand couldn’t hide the gigantic smile that had shot across her face.

Oh my stars, this is happening.

Lapis delicately draped her arms around Ranma. “My beautiful girlfriend?”

Ranma’s hands migrated to cover the rest of her face. The tips of her ears were turning crimson now.

OH MY STARS, THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!!!

Lapis’s wandering hands shot under Ranma’s armpits and began to tickle. “My beautiful, pretty, wonderful giiirrrrrrrlfriend?!”

Ranma fell onto her back, giddy laughs spilling out as she writhed both from joy and the tickles.

Lapis suddenly stopped Ranma’s gigglefit short with another kiss, deeply, Ranma’s head in her lap on the Beach, the tide whispering to itself at their feet.

Lapis broke the kiss, beaming down at Ranma.

Ranma smiled, tears in her eyes. “That… that feels really good…” She turned, looking out at the horizon.

“I’m a girl.”

The words felt strange and unfamiliar in her mouth.

“I’m a girl.”

It was the sort of utterance that would make Genma Saotome die of shame.

“I am a girl!”

It was the most wonderful, magical, amazing combination of words in the whole world, and Ranma never wanted to stop saying it.

She staggered to her feet from Lapis’s lap, diving headfirst into the waves. The cold water coated every inch of her, drenching her hair and her clothes.

She surfaced, laughing louder than anyone had ever heard her laugh. Lapis stared in amazement at how large Ranma’s smile had become, how loud and happy and true her laugh was.

Ranma splashed her fists into the water, sending droplets flying everywhere. “I’M A GIRL! IMAGIRL IMAGIRL IMAGIRL!!!!”

Ranma was cut off by Lapis suddenly tackling her back into the water in a hug, Lapis beaming at her. “Yes! You! Are!”

The two laughed, their laughter bouncing all down the beach and up and down the cliffs.

“Hey! You guys okay? What’s going on?” A familiar voice called.

Steven stood on the front porch of his house, having been summoned outside by the sounds of shouts and laughter and validation. There was half a smile on his face, as if he already had a feeling what was happening.

Ranma and Lapis shared a last look and another laugh, before trudging out of the waves and up the beach, to deliver the news to Steven.

Chapter Text

Fish Stew Pizza

Later That Night…

“That is correct, Sodium Chloride! Point goes to Team Pearl Platoon!”

The various attendees of Fish Stew Pizza’s Trivia Night applauded as Mister Smiley marked another point to Pearl Platoon for guessing the correct answer.

The general mill of conversation resumed as Smiley got his question cards in order. At their table, Volleyball turned to Pearl, beaming. “Good job, Pearl!” Pearl gave her datemate a smooch on the cheek as Volleyball’s face turned the same color as her hair.

On the other side of the table Bismuth smiled as she noshed on a slice of pizza. This was turning out to be a lot more fun that she’d expected! Plus she always loved to see Pearl this sociable and excited.

At Bismuth’s side, Sheena offered a smile that was a bit more strained than usual. Pearl reached across the table, holding both Sheena and Volleyball’s hand at the same time with an excitable squeal. Sheena gave a half-hearted squeeze back, failing to meet Pearl’s eyes.

Pearl, noticing Sheena’s withdrawal, gave a concerned frown. “Sheena? Are you alright?”

After a pause, Sheena frowned. “Yeah. Yeah. No.”

Pearl held Sheena’s hand with both of hers. “Do we need to step outside?”

Sheena nodded sluggishly. “Yes please.”

Nodding, all business now, Pearl stood, leaning back down toward Volleyball and Bismuth. “We’re gonna step outside for a bit. Keep us going till we get back.”

Bismuth paled. “Pearl, I haven’t known the answers to half of these questions!”

Pearl gave her a reassuring shoulder squeeze, only partially aware of how the blacksmith leaned into her hand. “You’re gonna do great, Bismuth. I promise. The game’s almost over anyway. We’ll be right outside.”

Pearl followed Sheena to the exit of the restaurant, the door’s bell jingling above them.

From Mr. Smiley: “Now, this question is for Team Pearl Platoon! The Category is World Records! When Nellie Bly heard that Phineas Fogg did it in 80 days, she beat him by doing it in 72 days. What did she do?”

Bismuth gave a panicked look to Volleyball, who gave an absolutely lost shrug. Human facts were Sheena’s usual field.

Bismuth turned to face Smiley with wide eyes. “Uh… rowing the Atlantic?”

Outside, Sheena took a deep breath of the cool evening air as she leaned against the wall. Her hands shook as she fumbled a crumpled pack of cigarettes out of her pocket, along with a lighter.

A pair of strong yet delicate hands closed over the offending objects. “You promised you’d stop.”

Sheena chuckled bitterly. “I have, Pearl, you know I have. You know I hate these freaking things.”

Pearl, holding Sheena’s hands, slowly guided her down to a seated position on the Boardwalk. She gently yet firmly removed the cigarettes and the lighter from Sheena’s hands, setting them on the ground next to her. Pearl gently planted a pair of the lightest kisses on Sheena’s hands, caressing her rough knuckles. “Talk to me, Sheena. What’s wrong?”

Sheena sighed, holding Pearl’s hands like a life preserver at sea. “It’s nothing. Just a bad night.”

“Is it too loud in there?”

“No, it’s not that. I just… feel gross tonight.”

Pearl nodded in understanding at the usual shorthand. She pointed her pinkie finger at her own forehead. “I’ve got one of your Dysphoria Hoodies tucked in my Gem if you need it.”

Sheena laughed wetly. “I still love that you call them that. But no, I’m good. Thank you.” She leaned over, offering a gentle peck on Pearl’s cheek.

“Well, what can I do to help you?”

“You’re doing it.” Sheena murmured, leaning her head on Pearl’s shoulder.

A familiar gruff voice spoke out. “Hey, what’s up?

Pearl craned her head to look around Sheena’s. Jasper stood a few feet away, hands in the pockets of her leather jacket.

Sheena smiled back at her. “Hey, babe. Thought you weren’t coming tonight.”

Jasper shrugged. “Changed my mind.” She smirked. “‘Sides, you need me to carry you three when it’s time for the victory lap.” Jasper strode over, sitting down next to the two, the Boardwalk shuddering as she sat. “What’s up?”

“Bad Dysphoria night.” Sheena mumbled, taking Jasper’s enormous clawed hand with her free one.

Jasper grunted. “That sucks.”

Sheena nodded. “It sucks.”

Pearl slid in next to Jasper, forming a triangle with the three of them. “It does indeed suck.”

Jasper gave a mock-offended gasp. “Do you kiss your girlfriends with that mouth?”

Pearl smiled. “Let’s find out.”

She planted a quick smooch on Sheena’s cheek, then followed it up with a matching one on Jasper’s Gem. As Jasper chuckled, a grinning Sheena withdrew into her shirt, with a high-pitched “noooooooo…”

“Looks like you’re giving our girlfriend the vapors, Pearl.”

Pearl traced her fingertips up Jasper’s bicep. “Shall we… take that to its logical conclusion?”

Taking Pearl’s hand in her own, Jasper smiled back. “I like the way you think.”

Sheena’s eyes popped wide open. “Don’t you dare.”

“Too late!” Pearl and Jasper chorused, Jasper sweeping Pearl off her feet. She swung her around by the wrists, the two effortlessly beginning to glow a blinding white, as Sheena leaned forward in anticipation, stars in her eyes.

The light faded.

The twenty-foot high monolith reached her four arms upward, cracking her knuckles with several deafening ka-bams. Four matching eyes, full of laughter and determination peered forth, piercing the night. A long ponytail, almost as tall as she was, hung down her back. Her powerfully muscular torso was clad in a perfectly bisected half-blue, half-black jacket.

Tangerine Quartz laughed, the sound booming across the Boardwalk. “Stars, but this feels amazing!” Her voice was as beautiful as a hurricane, as powerful as an Earthquake, as pronounced and cultured as a painting.

“YOU UTTER DORKS!” A voice called from below. Tangerine Quartz glanced down, her smile displaying a set of sharp fangs the size of chainsaws. “Sheena! You absolute rainbow-infused space unicorn, how the hell are you?!”

Sheena stood, planting her hands on her plush hips. “Great, now that I’m looking at you!”

Tangerine bent down, offering two of her hands out at ground level. Sheena stepped delicately onto the offered hands. Despite Tangerine Quartz’s traffic cone-sized claws, she held Sheena with the utmost care, like a fragile flower. The giant stood back up and, using her other two arms, hoisted herself into a seated position on the roof of Fish Stew Pizza. Her massive legs dangled off, jeans ending in a pair of cleated ballet shoes just above the ground.

Tangerine Quartz looked down at her girlfriend, her eyes filled with tenderness. “You sweet little thing, you’re so small. However do you manage?”

Sitting cross-legged in her palms, Sheena gave an Oh-You hand wave. “I’m not small and you know it. I’m a beast.”

Tangerine’s two sets of eyes gleamed with mischief. “I think not. You are just so teeny-tiny and adorable, I don’t know how to handle myself!”

Sheena began to blush again. “Aggggggh.”

“You’re so small and so cute, I want to just take you home with me and put you in a little terrarium!”

“Aggggggggh.”

Tangerine carefully bent one of her fingers, stroking Sheena’s head with the utmost care. “You are tiny and sweet and adorable and so strong and I’m never, ever gonna let you go!”

Laughing now, Sheena grabbed at the finger. “Alright, alright, I get it!” She stood up, a hand on the finger, smiling up at Tangerine. “I feel a lot better. Thanks, TQ.”

Tangerine brought Sheena in close, giving her an enormous, yet so soft, kiss on the top of the head. “Anytime, darling.”

Tangerine lit up again, slowly shrinking back toward the ground. As Sheena’s boots touched the boardwalk, the light resolved itself into Jasper and Pearl, hugging each other and Sheena in a group hug, laughing joyously.

Sheena threw her arms around the two of them. “Thanks, guys. You’re the best.”

There was a round of muffled applause inside the restaurant, signifying the end of the game. The door opened, and the crowd began to file out, Volleyball and Bismuth at the front.

Pearl looked over at them. “How’d it go?”

Bismuth shrugged sheepishly. “The other teams… may have steamrollered over us at the end there.”

Volleyball matched her shrug. “We lost miserably.”

Sheena chuckled. “Womp womp.”

Bismuth glanced at her watch. “I really hate to cut and run, but I do actually have to get back to Little Homeworld. Need to reinforce the joints on the repairs we did to the windmill.”

Giving Sheena one last squeeze, Pearl walked over, wrapping Bismuth in a gentle hug. “Thank you for coming out tonight, Bismuth. I always love seeing you.”

Bismuth gave a warm chuckle, hugging Pearl back. “Me too, Pearl. Me too.”

Before they parted, Pearl raised Bismuth’s enormous hand to her face, giving her a small, chaste kiss on the knuckles. “I’ll see you later.”

A surprised blush on her face, Bismuth could only give a nod, before turning and sauntering away. She turned her head to look up at the stars, her hands in the pockets of her overalls, a satisfied look on her face.

Sheena fished her motorcycle keys out of her pocket, jingling as she flashed them. “I think I’m gonna head home too. Sorry to cut things short.”

Volleyball smiled, sliding into Sheena’s arms. “You know you never have to apologize, Sheena.”

Sheena buried her face in the shoulder of Volleyball’s enormous, poofy sweater. “Thanks, Peeps. Thank you, all three of you.”

With one last kiss to Pearl and Jasper, Sheena attached her helmet with a click as she mounted her bike. “We still on for bowling on Friday?”

Jasper flashed a thumbs-up. “Always.”

With a roar of the engine, Sheena was off, her taillight vanishing into the night. The three Gems began the walk towards Jasper and Volleyball’s furnished cave in the woods behind Little Homeworld.

Volleyball sighed. “Poor Sheena. I hate that she has to deal with her dysphoria.”

Jasper knelt down, catching Volleyball behind the knees as she hoisted her onto her mighty shoulder. “That’s her battle. All we can do is be in her corner.”

The lightbulb turning on in Pearl’s head was almost audible, the normally graceful Gem tripping over her own feet as the connection was made. She righted herself with a stumble, her arms wide.

“Pearl? You okay?”

Pearl grinned enormously. “Jasper, you beautiful genius! That’s it! I know a way we can help Sheena with it!”

Volleyball gasped dramatically, whipping off her spectacles. “Really? How???”

“Ranma was telling us about this place, in China I think. It has some kind of curse or something over it, but it has the ability to let people change their forms! Including biological sex!”

Jasper knelt down, focusing on Pearl attentively. “Tell us everything.”

Chapter Text

September

Little Homeworld

Ranma’s Apartment

“ATTEEENNNNNN-SHUN!”

Ranma stood in the center of her room, in her usual red sleeveless Chinese shirt over her underwear. The colander from the kitchen cabinet was perched on her head. She glared at the item on her bed, her arms crossed before her, like a General addressing her troops. A brown stump of a Tootsie Roll was clenched in her teeth, to fully emulate the cigar-chomping look.

“Okay, Private, listen up! I’ve never gotten along with you or your compatriots. But that was then, and this is now. Things have changed. So we’re gonna try this again. Don’t screw me over on this, and I won’t conveniently drop you into Peridot’s incinerator. Are we clear, Private?”

The skirt lay there silently. White, pleated, knee-length.

Ranma leaned forward, her eye raised threateningly. “I said, are we clear, Private Pleats?!!?”

The skirt remained silent.

Ranma smirked, taking the Tootsie Roll between forefinger and thumb. “That is delightful to hear, Private Pleats! You’ve made your dresser drawer proud!” She made a quick about-face, marching towards the bathroom. “Prepare to move out! Oh-Nine-Hundred hours! Be there or you’ll be scrubbing the latrines with yer toothbrush!”

With a dramatic flourish, she slammed the bathroom door behind her, finally falling into a fit of giggles as she removed the colander from her head. She slid the Tootsie Roll into her mouth, chewing as she inspected the tiny bottle before her.

A dark red bottle of nail polish. Steven had given it to her from his own enormous collection to try it out.

She slid the tiny brush from the bottle, wrinkling her nose at the sharp smell. This would be her first toe dipped into the world of makeup. Amethyst, who could draw wingtips sharp enough to cut a man, had offered to help her with eyeliner later that week.

The one thing Ranma had read over and over during her research on makeup was to not get discouraged if you messed up the first time. Makeup was an art, just like the one she practiced and taught each week.

That was all.

Easy-peasy.

Ranma slid the brush back into the bottle. She stared at her reflection in the mirror, and spoke the words she had said at least twice a day for the past few weeks.

“I’m a boy.”

Nothing. Perhaps a slight curdle of revulsion deep in her stomach.

“I’m a girl.”

Elation. Her whole body lit up, and the corners of her mouth curled up involuntarily.

She pumped her fist triumphantly. Yes she was.

She sat down on the toilet, and slid the brush back out of the bottle.

The Pavilion

Half an Hour Later

Ranma nervously tugged at the skirt around her waist for the twentieth time in ten minutes.

“Will you stop that?” Lapis asked from her side, only half-smiling. “You look amazing, I promise.”

“Everyone is staring at me.” Ranma hissed, peeking around.

Lapis squeezed Ranma’s hand. “They are not. And if they did, you know we could take them.” She planted a small kiss on Ranma’s cheek, smirking as the redhead froze, blushing.

“Do I really look good, Lapis? I feel weird.”

Lapis nodded. “You look fantastic.”

Ranma nodded back, examining herself.

The nail polish had been a definite mistake. Even setting aside how Ranma’s inexperienced hands had smeared the stuff all over her fingertips, she felt like she had mud under her nails. The uneven coat was bumpy and irritating, and she could already tell she’d likely be picking it off before the day was out.

The skirt though?

Good heavens, the skirt, though.

It was light, cloudy, a far cry from the heavy, lacey abominations she’d been stuffed into before. She had been expecting it to hang uncomfortably low, make her legs sweat.

Instead, it gently fluttered around her in the light breeze. It was… surprisingly nice.

A light honk-honk interrupted her from her reverie as their ride arrived. Steven, behind the wheel of the Dondai, pulled up the driveway from Beach City, his eyes lighting up as he saw Ranma. He pulled to a stop, stepping out of the car with a smile on his face.

“Ranma, you look great! I love the skirt!”

Ranma felt herself blushing, an activity she was doing an awful lot these days. “S-stop it, I do not!”

Lapis leaned toward her ear. “Yes, you do.” Ranma shivered from Lapis’s breath on her ear.

Chuckling, Steven pointed a thumb toward the Dondai. “Shall we?”

Gathering her resolve and determination, Ranma pumped a fist. “Yes we shall!”

Steven matched her fist pump. “To Ocean Town Mall!”

Lapis gave a smirk, accompanied by her own chill half-pump. “Mall Rangers, assemble.”

With a grin, Ranma suddenly darted down behind Steven. Scrambling between his legs quickly, she lifted the surprised Steven onto her shoulders, laughing manically.

“Henshin! Mecha-Stevanmadon! Defender of Justice and Trans Rights!”

Steven laughed just as loudly, striking a pose on her shoulders. “Mecha-Stevanmadon! Unite for Trans Rights!”

Lapis clapped her hands, chuckling smoothly. “You two goofballs, I swear. Keep it up and I’ll call Peri down here, you can duke it out with the… uh… Perizuli-tron?”

Ranma knelt down, allowing Steven to slide off her shoulders. “We’ll workshop that one.”

“It was the spur of the moment, gimme a break.”

Steven spun his keys on his finger. “Alright, ramblers, let’s get ramblin’. We’ll pick up Connie on the way.”

Ranma and Lapis slid into the backseat as Steven plopped into the front. Steven backed the car around until he had a straight shot out of Little Homeworld. With a flash, they were on the road for Ocean Town.

Ranma raised two fingers. “So. Ground rules.”

Steven and Lapis nodded. “Ground rules,” they responded in unison.

“Rule number One: No Lace, No Frills. This is not negotiable.”

Steven nodded. “Gotcha. No lace or frills.”

“Rule number Two: If I say no to a piece of clothing, that means no. Period.”

Lapis flashed a thumbs-up. “No means no.”

“Rule number Three: If we’re gonna do this, I wanna do it right. So I’m open to trying almost anything on, but I do want to keep some of my… style, I guess? I like my Chinese shirts, and I’m not getting rid of ‘em.”

Steven smiled into the rearview mirror. “And you don’t have to, we promise. The whole point of this is to help you be more comfortable in your own skin, and figure out what that means in terms of how you express yourself.”

Ranma nodded. “Okay. Good.” She busied herself staring out the window at the passing scenery.

Lapis offered a smile. “Are you excited?”

Swallowing, Ranma nodded, smoothing the pleats on her skirt once again. “Yeah. I mean, I’m scared to death. But… I’m ready. I’m ready for this.”

Lapis lay her head on Ranma’s shoulder. “You’re gonna do great. And I’m here to provide an emergency cold-water-splash, just in case the worst happens.”

Ranma nuzzled her head against Lapis’s blue hair. “Thanks, Lapis. You’re the best.”

A few minutes later, Steven pulled the Dondai to a stop in front of an unfamiliar set of Townhouses. Connie Maheswaran, in one of her 800 polo shirts (blue today) under a worn bomber jacket, came trotting down the front walk, waving widely.

Connie slid into the front seat. “Hey guys!” She and Steven shared a fist bump as she buckled her seat belt. “So, what’s the surprise Ranma mentioned?”

Lapis turned, about to provide the lead-in. “So, Ranma and I were-“

“I’M TRANS.” Ranma blurted out before she could stop herself.

Connie blinked rapidfire as the breeze from the shout slowly faded, her equilibrium reasserting itself.

Lapis gave a snortle-laugh as Ranma flushed red. Ranma cleared her throat. “Uh. Sorry.”

Connie laughed, turning awkwardly in her seat to give Ranma a hug. “That’s so great, Ranma! Congratulations!” She suddenly leaned back to look Ranma in the eyes. “Is it still Ranma? Or have you chosen a name?”

Ranma chuckled, shaking her head. “Naw, stickin’ with Ranma. I like it too much.”

As the car started moving again, Steven squeezed Connie’s hand. “So we’re heading for the mall in Ocean Town, to overhaul Ranma’s wardrobe with stuff she’s comfortable with.”

Connie flashed Steven a grin. “Do you want to-“

“Oh my gosh, yes.” Steven agreed with a smile and a rapidfire nod.

Ranma leaned forward. “What’s happenin’?”

Steven flashed a wink into the backseat. “Wait for it. I think you’ll like it.”

The rest of the drive passed uneventfully, outside of a synchronized middle-finger salute as they passed the Crab Shack, Ranma’s former place of employment.

Eventually, the Ocean Town mall, a large, squat complex of a building, came into view. The bane of Mr. Smiley’s existence turned out to be relatively unimpressive from the outside, as most malls are.

The car having been parked, Ranma hopped out of the Dondai’s backseat, stretching her back, secretly relishing the feel of the skirt flickering around her legs.

Lapis, her hands in her pockets, gently bumped up against Ranma’s shoulder with her own. “In all seriousness, you really do look good in that skirt, Ranma.”

“Does this mean you get to be the only one between the two of us with the monk pants?”

Lapis chuckled. “I mean, only if you want me to.”

Connie practically pranced to the other side of the car, opening it to face an enormously-grinning Steven in the passenger seat.

She offered him a hand, gently sliding out of her shoes. “Shall we, Biscuit?”

Steven beamed at the long-unused nickname, placing his hand in hers. “Always, Berry.”

As Connie yanked Steven upward, both laughing loudly, their forms vanished into a bright light that enveloped them both. Lapis, squealing with delight, shook a surprised Ranma’s shoulders rapidly. “Ranma Ranma Ranmaaaaaaaa-“

Stevonnie stumbled into existence, still laughing, hugging their own arms tightly. The fluffy white collar of Connie’s bomber jacket was now attached to the top of Steven’s letterman jacket, providing a delightfully tacky look over Stevonnie’s shorts.

Their giggles quickly turned into cries of “Ouch ouch ouch hot hot!!!”, the fusion suddenly dancing on the hot parking lot blacktop in their bare feet, before diving for the open car door. They curled their toes, wincing from the pain.

Lapis came hurtling around the side of the car at just below lightspeed. “STEVONNIEEEEEE!” She jumped on top of the fusion, wrapping them in a tight hug. “It’s sooooo good to see you! I missed you so much!!!”

Stevonnie laughed, hugging Lapis back. “Hey there, Laz! It’s been way too long. How’s my Jam Bud doing?”

Lapis grinned toothily. “I’m so great! You get to meet my girlfriend!!”

“Great! But first, can you do me a favor and get the pair of sandals out of the trunk? Steven’s won’t fit me.”

Lapis gave a thumbs-up. “On it!” She jumped backward, jogging to the Dondai’s trunk.

Ranma’s head popped into view with an almost audible squeak noise, regarding Stevonnie with a bewildered expression. “Uh. The heck are you?”

Stevonnie gave a massive gasp. “Ohmigosh! Lapis, sandals, sandals!”

A pair of adult-sized flip-flops came sailing into view, clattering on the ground in front of the open car door. Stevonnie quickly jerked forward, fumbling their feet into the soft protection from the hot ground, before jumping back to their feet and sweeping Ranma into an energetic handshake with both hands. Stevonnie being six-foot-five, almost a full foot and a half taller than Ranma, Ranma was sent into almost comical shakes from the swing of Stevonnie’s hands.

“Ranma! I’ve been wanting to meet you for ages! I’m Stevonnie, I’m Steven and Connie’s Fusion! Pronouns are They/Them, by the way!”

Ranma gaped in astonishment. “You guys can fuse?! Like, Dragon Ball Z earrings Fusion?!”

“Sure can! It’s a Gem thing. And don’t worry, they’re both in here somewhere. They’ll be back when I unfuse.”

As Lapis sauntered back into view, Ranma glanced at her in excitement. “Can we do that?!!”

Lapis shrugged. “Iunno.”

The inside of the mall was cool, with a low echo from the other shoppers milling around. The mall had been deliberately designed to resemble the malls of the 80s, rather than the stark white minimalist look most malls had. Pastel walls, neon signs, and ugly triangle-print carpeting abounded. It was like stepping into a well-funded period TV show set.

Ranma whistled appreciatively. “Dunno what I was expecting, but it wasn’t this.”

Stevonnie grinned. “I know, right? I don’t know who the interior designer this place hired was, but I wanna shake their hand.”

Lapis pointed over at one of the enormous tentpole clothing stores bordering the edges of the mall. “Want to head that way first? They look like they have a pretty good selection.”

Stevonnie looked to Ranma, who shrugged. “I’ve literally never done this kinda thing before. I have no idea where to start.”

“That way it is, then.” Stevonnie nodded. “I wanna get some clothes sized for me as well. Steven and Connie’s clothes get kinda tight sometimes.”

The trio started toward the clothing store. All three sets of sandals click-clacked in a discordant chorus as they stepped onto the store’s tiled floor.

“Thinking about it, what’s your shirt size, Ranma?”

Ranma paused from the line of shirts she’d been sifting through at Stevonnie’s question. She realized suddenly that, quite by accident, she’d been unconsciously searching for clothes sized to Guy Mode… to her Deadmode.

“I… honestly don’t know, come to think of it. I know my… the other Mode’s clothing sizes. I usually just kinda wore that size, so it’d still kinda fit if I got splashed.” She motioned to herself. “This form is teeny-tiny, so any clothes fitted to it would just be too tight if I went to my Deadmode.”

Lapis hummed, hooking a finger under the shoulder of Ranma’s sleeveless shirt. She tugged gently at the slack fabric. “If you’re gonna be in Girl Mode on a regular basis, I think you’d feel a lot better if you wore something sized to you. These baggy clothes make you look a lot smaller than you actually are.”

Ranma hummed, glancing back at the line of shirts. “So how do I figure that out? Don’t these places have, like, those ladies with the tape measures?”

Stevonnie shook her head. “That’s only in the super boujee places, the ones where If You Have To Ask, You Can’t Afford It.”

“So what do I do then?”

“Get a whole mess of clothes you like, and try them all on to see if they fit.”

Ranma froze, glaring at Stevonnie. “You’re kidding me.”

Stevonnie gave an apologetic grin. “Nope. Sorry.”

Ranma gave an enormous, long-suffering sigh. “Am I gonna have to do a fashion montage?!”

Stevonnie shrugged as Lapis gave Ranma a pity-pat on the back. “Welcome to women’s clothes, hon.”

Ten minutes later, Lapis found herself planted on a bench outside of Ranma’s changing stall, Stevonnie right next to her on Steven’s phone.

From behind the stall door, Ranma’s grunts and grumbles of frustration could be heard as she shimmied her way in and out of the clothes they had selected. “This is actual insanity. I’ve tried on 6 different shirts of the same size so far. Two of them fit perfectly, but the other four are too big! But the tags say the same size!”

Stevonnie winced. “Yeah, I shoulda mentioned that. The fashion industry is a nightmare when it comes to consistent sizing on women’s clothing.”

“Connie, if you’re in there, I am so sorry. I had no idea.”

Stevonnie grinned. “I honestly have no idea if Connie can hear you, but either way, she’ll appreciate the sentiment.”

The latch clicked as Ranma emerged in a blue-and-white striped long-sleeved shirt over her skirt. “This fits, it feels good, and I like it. I’m gonna say yes to this one, and no to the others out of necessity.”

Stevonnie smiled as Lapis cocked an appreciative eyebrow. “That actually looks really good on you, Ranma!”

Ranma grinned, admiring how the shirt clung to her arms and shoulders. “Feels weird wearing clothes that fit this form. I feel so light.”

Glancing back into the changing stall, Lapis frowned. “Weird that only one of those appearance enhancers fit, though. I thought humans had like a gazillion sizes?”

Ranma sighed. “I know. I’m short. I get it.”

Stevonnie examined the tags on the shirt Ranma had chosen. “Yeah, I was afraid of this. Sorry, Ranma, but you’re probably gonna have to shop for…” they trailed off.

Ranma gave Stevonnie a dangerously level look. “Say it. Say the word. I want you to say it.”

“…petites.”

WHAM.

Ranma pulled her head back from four-inch-deep crater her forehead had left in the wall, sighing as smoke puffed from her forehead. “Awright, let’s get to it.”

Almost a full hour later, Ranma gave an loud groan of relief as she lugged two large bags out of the store. “Gawd, that took forever.”

In her left hand, a bag packed with casual shirts and tank tops of varying designs and looks. In her right, a bag filled with a galaxy of panties and simple leggings. She had slid on a black pair of leggings under her skirt as well, and swapped her sleeveless Chinese shirt for a light blue Peasant blouse that clouded around her elbows.

She waddled in place, trying to adjust the leggings. “This is gonna take some gettin’ used to.”

Stevonnie swung the car keys around a single finger. “If you want, I can run those bags out to the car right quick if you wanna chill for a sec.”

Ranma nodded, sliding the bag handles into Stevonnie’s waiting hands. “Thanks, Stevonnie. We’ll be here.”

As Stevonnie headed for the mall’s exit, Ranma plopped onto bench, Lapis following suit. Ranma felt a gentle warmness inside of herself as their sides brushed up against each other.

“Doin’ okay?” The bluenette asked.

Ranma sighed, her eyes closed. “Yeah, now that that’s outta the way. Now we can focus on, like, specialty stuff. I know I wanna see if there’s a place here that sells those Chinese shirts I like.”

“You look really good in those.”

“Thanks, Lapis. D’you wanna get anything while we’re here?”

Lapis stretched an arm around her girlfriend’s shoulders, snuggling her closer. “Nah, don’t need to. I can shapeshift whatever I want.” Lapis momentarily glowed a bright white, before returning to the visible spectrum. She had shifted her monk pants and crop top into the blue dress of her previous form, her feet bare against the rough carpeting.

Ranma whistled. “Nice! That’s super handy.”

Lapis nodded with a wink, shifting back to her current default clothes. “So yeah, don’t see the point in actually owning clothes. It’d just take up space in the apartment.” She paused. “Wouldn’t mind some more paints if we find a craft store, though.”

The two sat in silence for a moment, Ranma’s head on Lapis’s shoulder. The low white noise of the mall gently rumbled around them.

Her nose in Lapis’s hair, Ranma gently murmured. “You smell really nice.”

Lapis blinked. “Do I?”

“Yeah.” Ranma breathed deeply and sighed, as Lapis blushed blue in her cheeks.

“Awwww,” Stevonnie grinned as she sauntered in front of them from the parking lot. “Y’all are adorable.”

Ranma and Lapis blew a synchronized raspberry at Stevonnie, who plopped down on the end of the next bench. “So, where to next?”

Ranma leaned forward, counting on her fingers. “I know I wanna get see if I can get some of my Chinese shirts. I wanna get some more girly experimentation outfits. And I also need new shoes, preferably waterproof ones.”

“In case of Splash Emergencies?” Lapis queried.

“Yeah. With how often it happens, waterproof shoes’d be a lifesaver. Back in Japan I’d have to get new shoes all the time. They’d start to smell, and trust me, athlete’s foot ain’t no joke.”

Stevonnie pointed toward a shoe store a few storefronts down. “What about crocs?”

Ranma made a face, then paused to think about it. “That… would probably work really well, actually.” She groaned in irritation, picking at her nail polish, sending red dust powdering to the floor. “Wish I had one a’ those ways to mode-lock my curse.”

Lapis choked on nothing, her eyes wide. “Is that possible?!”

Ranma shrugged. “I mean, yeah, but not with any way I can use. The Musk tribe in China has this thing called the Ladle of Locking, which they use to lock curses so they can… populate their village. Please don’t ask.”

Stevonnie shuddered in revulsion. “Don’t tell.”

“And I’m pretty sure the Amazons have a pressure point that can alter ki flow to lock curses, but I have no friggin’ idea how pressure points work, and only the Amazon Elders know that one. Way too easy to screw up.”

“What about the ladle thing?”

“Last I heard, Prince Herb of the Musk tribe had it, and I assure you, he would be less than helpful. Like, to me specifically.”

Lapis shook her head in bewilderment. “How does one gal get so many enemies?”

Ranma shrugged. “What can I say, I’m a people person. With. Severe anxiety and PTSD.”

Stevonnie gave a bitter laugh. “HA! Same, yo.”

Lapis placed a level hand before her. “Trauma Buds represent.”

Ranma and Stevonnie placed their hands over Lapis’s. “Trauma Buds!”

Ranma smiled broadly, clutching her hands together. “There is a God.”

Ocean Town Mall had an honest-to-goodness Asian clothing outlet. Most of the stock was imitations, of far inferior material than the silk used to make the genuine articles, but they would do.

Lapis and Stevonnie looked on with smiles as Ranma darted back and forth, examining the options. “They… they’re perfect!” She grinned at her two companions. “They’re perfect!” She grabbed an armful of shirts off a pair of racks and ran for the changing rooms.

Stevonnie extended a fist. “Good idea?”

Lapis gently bumped her fist against Stevonnie’s. “Great idea.”

After a few minutes, Ranma slid out of the changing stall, her eyes filled with delight. She wore a red button-up Chinese shirt, just like the ones she had in her apartment, but actually fitted to her. She stared at her wrists in amazement, the familiarly comfortable fabric snug against her arms. She gave a few experimental punches at the empty air.

“These actually fit! I don’t feel like my shirt is clouding all over the place when I throw a punch!” She puffed out her chest, looking down at the smooth surface of the shirt. “I’m not wearing an empty bag anymore!!!”

Ranma lunged forward, grabbing Lapis’s hands in her own. She practically swung the Gem around in a circle, half-dancing with glee. Lapis laughed as she stumbled, wrapping an arm around the redhead. “Congrats, Ranma!” She glanced up and down Ranma’s form, before glowing bright white again. After a second, she came back into focus, now with a deep blue shirt of her own buttoned around her torso.

Lapis examined herself, smiling. “Not bad. Gotta say, I kinda like this.”

Ranma slid her hands along the blue shirt. “That suits you really well, actually.”

Lapis shrugged, shifting the shirt away. “Maybe another time. I kinda like having my shoulders free.” She flashed a wink, knowing Ranma also enjoyed the view of Lapis’s built shoulders and arms.

Giggling, Ranma slid back and forth on her feet, front-to-back, back-to-front. “See anything else I should try on? Anything I’d look good in?”

Lapis glanced around eyeballing the various racks and mannequins. After a moment, she grinned, pointing with her pinkie finger. “What about that one?”

A single mannequin, clad in a long, ankle-length cheongsam, black with a tasteful gold trim. Short sleeves, just covering the shoulders.

The poisonous voice inside Ranma’s head suddenly spoke for the first time in a long time.

No, hell no, screw that. I’m a guy. Guys don’t wear dresses.

Ranma physically bit down on her tongue inside her mouth, turning all of her rage inward, smothering the voice until it went silent.

That voice had never been right about a damn thing. Ever.

Which sounded like a good reason to specifically do anything it would have said not to.

Ranma squeezed her fist in determination. “Yes. Definitely yes. I don’t care if I can’t afford it, I wanna try it.”

Grinning, Stevonnie turned to try and find an employee.

A scant view minutes later, Ranma stood back inside the changing stall in her underwear, staring at the black cheongsam with a flutter in her stomach.

She gave a quick glance to her skirt, tossed to the side on the bench. That was… different, somehow. A skirt was only from the waist-down, so it didn’t really count as a dress.

This? This was the physical symbol of… everything. Everything she had been running from since she was fifteen. Since she had fallen in that Cursed, Blessed hot spring.

A gentle knock on the stall door. From outside, Stevonnie’s voice. “Ranma? You doing okay?”

Ranma nodded. “Y-yeah. I’m good. Just… preparing myself.”

“Take your time. I know it’s a big step.”

Ranma took a deep breath through her nose, and out through her mouth. Then, she reached forward, and removed the cheongsam from the hanger.

From outside, Stevonnie and Lapis heard the soft click of the hanger.

The gentle rustle of cloth sliding over skin.

A period of silence.

And then.

A gasp. Almost too soft to be heard.

The two exchanged a look. Lapis raised a single knuckle for a Welfare Knock.

The latch clicked, and the stall door slid open before she could touch it.

There stood Ranma, her eyes wide and unbelieving. The dress was slid over her shoulders, the collar gently touching her neck. A single bare foot stuck out of the slit in the dress, the hem awkwardly hanging over her toes. The black of the dress made the red of her hair and the blue of her eyes pop, and the gold trim was just the icing on the cake.

Fat tears dripped from Ranma’s eyes. “Guys, I… I look… I look so pretty…”

Before Lapis and Stevonnie could do anything but smile, Ranma had lunged forward, sweeping them both into a tight hug. Her head between both of theirs, she laughed wetly, a sweeping, ongoing laugh that refused to stop for a long time.

“Thank you, guys… thank you… thank you…”

Ranma fretted gently as the clerk rang them up. “Stevonnie, you didn’t have to do that.”

Stevonnie grinned, glancing at the cheongsam as it was wrapped and slid into a bag. “I did, and I am. You deserve that dress, Ranma.”

Ranma grumbled, before mumbling a “Thank you.”

“So, where to next?”

Ranma counted on her fingers as she mentally ran through the day’s purchases. “Got shirts, underwear, jeans, shorts, that cute pair of overalls, some new Chinese shirts and the Cheongsam… I can’t think of anything else I’d need.”

Lapis rolled her eyes. “Yeah, but what do you want?”

Ranma paused for a moment. “Ummm… I think I’m good on dresses and skirts for now…” she idly swished the fabric of her skirt between her fingers as she thought. After a moment, she snapped her fingers. “I got it! Stevonnie, Steven had his hair up with a bandanna a while back, when we were hangin’ out at his place? I actually really liked that look.”

Stevonnie nodded, clapping Ranma on the back. “That sounds like accessories to me!”

Ranma blinked. “What, like, to murder?”

“Ranma, no.”

Lapis shrugged. “She might be onto something there. I’m down for crimes.”

“Lapis, no.”

Finding a couple of nice bandannas at the accessories shop had been a fairly quick affair. It was what came next that was surprising.

Arms crossed, Lapis watched with intrigue as Ranma slowly turned a spinning rack of bracelets, occasionally plucking one from the display in an almost trancelike state.

In the basket on the floor next to her, the pair of bandannas she had picked out were slowly being buried under a trickle of bracelets, ankle bracelets, cheap rings, earrings, the occasional barrette. At least half of it had some variation of a rainbow or the trans flag on it.

Stevonnie shrugged. “I guess she’s a fan of bangles.”

“Who knew?”

Ranma turned again, her eyes wide, a ring with an evil eye on it in one hand, an ankle bracelet that appeared to be made of imitation jade in the other.

“I must. Have. Everything.”

Stevonnie smiled. “Go for it. I promise, money is no object today. Though if you’re getting earrings, you maaaaay wanna get your ears pierced.”

Ranma blinked. “Oh. Yeah.” She dropped the bangles into the basket, before her hands travelled to her ears, gently squeezing her soft lobes. “That’d probably help a lot.”

Ranma rubbed at her stinging ears, running her thumb over the stud set into it with a wince. Her bags were stowed under her chair, the three of them crowded around a food court table.

Lapis paused from her slow, ceaseless draining of a XXXL blue raspberry slushee. “Stop rubbing it.”

Stevonnie pointed with their fork, a wad of salad still on the end of it. “And you may wanna keep staying away from Steven’s spit. Connie had to get her ears re-pierced after Steven healed her eyesight. She used to need glasses.”

Ranma raised an eyebrow. “Neat. I’ll probably need glasses when I get older.”

“You think so?”

“My grandad wore glasses, Pops wears glasses, and my Ma uses reading glasses. I think the odds’re stacked against me on that one.” She poked at her plate, mealy rice with bland Mongolian chicken. “This might just be the worst food I’ve ever eaten. And I’ve eaten Akane’s cooking.”

Stevonnie nodded. “I told ya, dude. Mall Food Court Chinese Food is always an abomination upon cuisine.”

“When you’re right, you’re right.” Ranma clicked the takeout container closed, sliding it away. She glanced around at the other restaurants, noticing one that had been dismantled and shut down. A new restaurant had yet to move in. She pointed at the sight. “What happened to that chicken restaurant over there? Why’d it close down?”

Lapis grinned. “Homophobia. Whole chain shut down.”

“Rad.” Ranma tugged at the bandanna tying her hair back, this one a matching shade of light blue to the peasant blouse. “Are you sure it looks good?”

“Yes! I promise, you look wonderful!”

Ranma blushed with a tiny smile.

Stevonnie tore open another tiny packet of dressing, dripping it onto their salad before adding it to the growing pile of empty packets. “Anything else you wanna get done while we’re here? Want to change your hair, get a new ‘do?”

Ranma laughed bitterly. “Ha! Nope, nope, nope-nope-nope. No can do.”

Stevonnie and Lapis shared a confused blink. “What? Why?”

Ranma sighed, untying her bandanna, allowing her still-tied braid to fall out. “So uh… I might have another curse I haven’t mentioned.”

Lapis leaned forward. “What, like completely separate from the splash-thing?”

Ranma nodded. “Yeah.” She held the middle of her braid between two fingers, pointing to the very end of it. “Y’see that lil doodad I’ve got my hair tied with?”

Stevonnie and Lapis leaned close. Tying Ranma’s hair was a short length of something deep black, coarse, made of an unidentifiable material.

“What is that?”

Ranma chuckled, letting her braid fall back behind her shoulder. “That is a Dragon Whisker. And yes, I do mean a whisker from an actual, literal dragon.”

Lapis barely stopped herself from doing a spit-take into her slushee. “Wait, dragons exist? Peridot’s anime was right?!”

Stevonnie gave her a bemused eyebrow quirk. “We literally fought Gem monsters for years, and that surprises you?”

Ranma waved her hand dismissively. “All I know is that one existed years ago, and that’s one of the whiskers from his face. Long story short, I got suckered into eating one dragon whisker, which apparently causes super-fast hair growth unless you tie your hair back with another one. So there it is. That comes undone, we all drown in hair in a couple a’ minutes.”

Stevonnie shook their head in amazement. “Was this something else your stupid dad roped you into?”

With a sarcastic, wide-eyed look and a tremble in her voice, Ranma sneered. “How ever did you know?!!?”

Lapis toyed with Ranma’s short braid between finger and thumb. “Would you want to maybe grow it out further then? Try a different tied-back style?”

“Nah, I’ve tried a bunch of different versions. I don’t like my hair too long, it drives me batty. This braid was just the style I liked enough to keep.”

Stevonnie swallowed another mouthful of their dressing-drenched salad. “Now, Ranma, legit question. Would you like to try and look more feminine in your other Mode, or are you gonna stick with Girl Mode?”

Ranma shrugged. “Honestly, staying in Girl Mode would be easier. My Dysphoria-whatsit really doesn’t like my Guy Mode… sorry, Deadmode.”

Stevonnie slid a hand over, squeezing Ranma’s. “Don’t apologize! I’m sorry if I was insensitive.”

“Nah, it’s cool. Yer not gonna offend me by asking questions, I promise.” She took a deep breath, feeling her shoulders relax. “Today… was nice. I mean it, this was amazing.” Ranma reached out, squeezing both Stevonnie and Lapis’s hands. “I feel so… so free now. I really do. Coming to Beach City was the best decision I ever made. Thank you, guys. So much.”

Stevonnie flashed a toothy grin as Lapis raised Ranma’s hand, offering a chaste kiss on her knuckles.

From Stevonnie’s pocket, the gentle hum-humm of a vibrating phone could be heard. After a brief moment of confusion and figuring out whose phone was ringing, Stevonnie produced Steven’s phone. Pearl’s smiling picture was onscreen. Stevonnie slid the answer button over, raising the phone to their ear.

“Hello, Pearl!”

“Steven- oh! Hello, Stevonnie! Apologies for intruding on your shopping trip, but is Ranma with you? I don’t have her number.”

Catching Ranma’s eye with her own, Stevonnie answered “Uh, yes ma’am, she’s right here. Do you need to talk to her?”

“Yes, actually. Immediately, if possible.”

Stevonnie offered the phone out to Ranma. “Uh, it’s for you.”

Ranma took the phone with a raised eyebrow. “Uh, hi Pearl.”

“Ranma! Good, uh, good to speak to you!” Pearl’s voice was strained, as if she were very embarrassed about something.

“Uhh… you too?”

“So, uh, Ranma… we may have done something dumb.”

Ranma’s eyes flickered back and forth between Stevonnie and Lapis, unsure of where this was going. “Ooooookayyyy? I don’t understand.”

“Okay. Okay. So. Sheena was… having some personal problems, and I wanted to help. Soooo… I remembered the conversation we had.”

“Which conversation?” Ranma asked, a sinking feeling in her stomach.

“About… your curse.”

Ranma’s blood ran cold as the dots were connected in her head. “You didn’t.”

Stevonnie’s eyes were wide. “What’s wrong? What’s happening?”

“Sooo Jasper, Volleyball, and myself took the Warp to China early this morning, and we spent a while hiking into the countryside…”

Ranma’s fingers dug into the tabletop. “Pearl, please tell me you didn’t go to Jusenkyo.”

“Eeeeeuuuuggghhhhh…”

Ranma could almost hear the universe laughing at her.

“Which one, Pearl? Who fell in, and which Spring?”

“…Maybe you should just come to the house.”

The Dondai’s tires ground to a halt on the beach in front of Steven’s house.

Steven, Connie, Ranma, and Lapis popped the doors open, stepping out onto the sand with grim looks on their faces.

Steven glanced over at Ranma. “What… what do I need to expect when we go in there?”

Ranma gave a half-hearted shrug. “Honestly, it depends on what form they’re in, who got splashed with what, and how they’re taking it.”

Connie winced as a thought popped into her head. “If Jasper got splashed with that minotaur spring you told us about, we may be heading into a war zone.”

As the group trudged toward the stairs up to the front porch, they were greeting by the sight of Greg Universe stepping outside, his face buried in his hands. Greg’s shoulders shook, small whimpering noises emanating from within his hands.

Steven’s heart sank. “Dad? What happened?”

Greg raised his face from his hands, his eyes spilling over with tears… and his face curled in a barely suppressed grin. His hand went back over his mouth, forcing the giggles back down. “Shtu-ball… I’m sorry… I had to step outside… it was too much…”

The four stared with blank, confused eyes. Ranma loudly faceplanted into the stairs.

Greg pointed over his shoulder, into the house. “Just head inside, give me a minute. Tell Pearl I’m sorry, I promise I’m not laughing at her.”

Steven, more lost than anything, stepped up the stairs, pushing the door open.

Inside, Amethyst was in the kitchen, filling a large glass with hot water with a gigantic grin on her face.

On the left, Garnet was sat criss-crossed on the floor. Standing next to her- Ranma was surprised to see- the Jusenkyo Guide, looking like he hadn’t aged a day in his floppy green Mao suit and hat.

Jasper and Volleyball’s clothes that weren’t part of their default appearance enhancers- Jasper’s leather jacket and jeans, Volleyball’s sweater, glasses, and bellbottoms- were folded neatly on the coffee table.

And on the couch, commanding the attention of everyone present, an enormous orange-cream colored sheep was baa-ing loudly and angrily, a small orange Gem set into the end of her snout. A pair of green ram’s horns curled from her forehead.

On her left, a smaller pink sheep was sat, tiny black legs primly folded under her, her single eye closed, relaxing as best she could. Although it could not be seen, it was an easy guess that her Gem was concealed on her underside, amidst her pink wool. Her head was in Sheena’s lap, who was staring with wide-eyed wonder and occasionally making odd noises, a crooked grin across her face.

On the floor in front of the couch, a third sheep gave a series of tired-sounding baa’s in the orange sheep’s direction. Her oddly pointy-looking wool framed her Gem, planted in the center of her forehead.

Giggling eagerly, Amethyst trotted over with two glasses, one filled with hot water, one filled with cold. She tipped the hot glass over the angry orange sheep. With a splash, Jasper fell out of the disappearing sheep, her hair soaked, pointing at the Jusenkyo Guide.

“-ND I WANT A FIX FOR THIS RIGHT NOW! IF YOU’VE BEEN RUNNING THOSE SPRINGS FOR DECADES, YOU DAMN WELL BETTER KNOW A FIX YOU LITTLE FU-“

Jasper was cut off by Amethyst tipping the cold water over her head, shooting her back into sheep mode and angry baa’s. Amethyst laughed wildly, heading for the kitchen. “This is fun no matter how many times I do it.”

Unable to get up due to Sheep-Volleyball’s head in her lap, Sheena waved an arm ineffectually at Sheep-Jasper. “Babe… babe, it’s okay… babe…”

Connie tapped a wide-eyed Steven on the shoulder. “Excuse me a moment.” She turned and stepped outside onto the porch, before throwing her head back and laughing loudly, bending over and clutching her sides with mirth.

Lapis, for her part, didn’t bother stepping outside, simply clutching her elbows and allowing the stream of giggle-snorts to fall out.

Garnet turned, looking at Ranma. “I warned them. You warned them.”

The Jusenkyo Guide caught sight of Ranma, his face brightening. “Ah! Dear Customer! It’s been too long! How have you been?”

Ranma gave the Guide a sheepish wave. “Been good, been good! I, uh… found the upside.” She gestured to her clothes, still clad in the peasant blouse and skirt.

The Guide gave an enormous happy gasp, clutching her hands. “Oh, congratulations, Dear Customer! I’m very happy for you!”

Steven spread his hands over his forehead and eyes, pushing his hair back with a deeeeeeep sigh. “Can someone tell me what happened?”

Sheep-Pearl looked over at Steven, her eyes exasperated. “Baa. Baa baa baa-baa. Baa baa baa baa baa baa-baaa.”

Steven blinked, then looked over at the kitchen. “Amethyst-“

“Gotcha covered, bro.” Amethyst slid over, upending a new glass of hot water over Sheep-Pearl’s head. Pearl wiped the hot water from her face as Connie and Greg reentered, still chuckling. Pearl gave Connie a good-natured glare. “Glad someone finds this funny, Connie.”

“Hee! Sorry, ma’am.”

Pearl sat on the floor and leaned against the couch, reaching up to pat Sheep Volleyball’s head. “Well, since an explanation is warranted-“

“BAA! BAA-BAA! BAA BAA BAA BAA BAA BAA-“

Pearl tapped Sheep Jasper on the back, drawing her attention. “Darling, please. Give me a minute.”

Sheep Jasper grumbled, curled up against Sheena. “Baa.” Sheena gave a small squeal. Steven chuckled. “She’s like an angry pile of cotton candy.”

Steven sat down on the floor next to Pearl. Lapis slid behind him on the couch, her legs on either side of him, and rested her head on his mass of curls. Ranma sat on the end of the coffee table, crossing her legs under the skirt. Connie turned one of the dining room chairs around, facing the group.

Pearl placed a hand on Sheena’s thigh, giving a gentle squeeze. “Well, a few weeks ago, Sheena had been having some personal troubles-“

Sheena leaned in. “Dysphoria. Call it what it is, hon. It’s fine.”

“Are you sure?”

Sheena nodded, giving Pearl a soft kiss on the Gem. Pearl blushed as a tiny spark popped up from her Gem, before resuming her explanation. “She was having a bad dysphoria night, and we were wondering for a way to help her with it. I remembered what Ranma had told us, about the Cursed Hot Springs in Japan, and how Ranma had been afflicted with a curse that caused her to change biological sex upon application of cold water.”

Ranma slapped her hand onto her own forehead. “You might remember that I mentioned how dangerous that place is, and how chaotic the magic is?!”

Pearl nodded, clearly embarrassed. “I did, I did, but… I had to do something, and the risk seemed worth it.”

Sheena raised a hand to her own chest, clearly touched. “Aw, babe…”

As Pearl spoke, Lapis caught Sheep Jasper’s eye, silently sticking her middle finger up at the Sheep-Shaped Quartz. Jasper glared back, but said nothing. Steven quietly swatted Lapis on the leg. “Be nice.”

Pearl continued. “So this morning, Jasper, Volleyball, and myself took the Warp to China and hiked into the wilderness. I had a vague sense of where it was, thanks to my time spent travelling the world with Rose. And after a few hours… we found it.”

The Jusenkyo Guide leaned forward. “They passed by my cottage. I begged them to turn around, but they wouldn’t listen.”

Sheep-Jasper gave an irritable “Baaaaa.” as she glared at the Guide.

Pearl gently touched Sheep-Jasper’s snout, before continuing. “The Springs were labeled, and my Chinese is good enough to read it, so we set about looking for the Spring of Drowned Girl, when…” Pearl and Sheep-Jasper both looked at Sheep-Volleyball, who at least had the decency to blush with a soft “Baa…”

Pearl wrapped a hand around one of Sheep-Volleyball’s hooves. “The wet ground crumbled under Volleyball, and she started to fall into one of the Springs. I grabbed for her, Jasper grabbed for both of us, we all got tangled, and…”

The Jusenkyo Guide nodded. “Ker-Splash. Spring of Drowned Sheep. Very tragic story, Dear Customers.”

Ranma gave the Guide a look. “You always say that, but I’ve never actually heard any of the “Tragic-Stories-Dear-Customers” you always mention about the Springs. Like, ever.”

“That’s how tragic they are, Dear Customer.”

Pearl nodded to the Guide. “This gentleman was kind enough to use a long stick to help pull us out, since… well, since wet wool is very, very heavy.”

Lapis smirked. “Ouch.”

“Once he had boiled some water and gotten us restored to our base forms, Jasper grabbed him by his collar and hauled him back here with us, despite the protestations of everyone involved. We all warped back here, and I called you.”

The instant Pearl’s story ended, Amethyst tipped a glass of cold water over her, causing the sudden return of Sheep-Pearl. Pearl gave Amethyst an indulgent smile as Amethyst doubled over, cackling.

Sheep-Volleyball raised a hoof to Amethyst. “Baa?” With a nod, Amethyst tipped some hot water over her, causing Volleyball to poof into existence in Sheena’s lap. With a blush, she slid off, onto the couch cushion. Sheena, still quietly squealing with delight, reached down and hauled Sheep-Pearl up onto the couch, rubbing her soft wool, her eyes enormous. “This is… the best day… of my life…”

Volleyball looked to Ranma. “So, as enjoyable as being that fluffy is, I doubt this is something that should be allowed to last. Would you happen to know of any fixes, being the resident expert?”

Ranma shook her head. “Sometimes, humans with animal curses will try and get ahold of Spring of Drowned Girl or Drowned Man water as a workaround, assuming the curse will let it happen.” She looked to the Jusenkyo Guide. “I’m gonna take a wild guess that there’s no Spring of Drowned Gem?”

“Alas, no. Even if there were, assuming I’m correct about Gem biology, the curse would likely map itself to whatever Gem type had drowned there, instead of returning to the default.”

Connie raised a hand. “Couldn’t you just shapeshift out of sheep mode?”

Volleyball smiled. “Good idea, but no. Pearl and Jasper already tried, to no avail. I can’t shapeshift at all, so that’s that one out.”

Pearl sprang back into existence as Amethyst applied more hot water. Evaporating the water off of her clothes with a flash, she also turned to Ranma. “Well, since it seems we’ll be stuck with these curses for the foreseeable future, what can we expect?”

Ranma chuckled darkly. “Hoh boy… the main thing is that water is gonna be straight-up attracted to you. You’re gonna get splashed out of nowhere at random times, usually with whatever temperature would be most inconvenient in that situation.”

Steven grimaced. “Ai-yi-yi… glad we have plenty of towels.”

Volleyball clutched Sheena’s free hand. “Sheena, I want you to know, none of us blame you for this. This was entirely our fault.”

Sheena laughed loudly. “Oh, I agree. This is alllll on you three dum-dums.” She swept Pearl and Volleyball into a hug with both hands, Sheep-Jasper’s head still on her lap. “That was sooooo sweet of you guys to do that for me, though! I love you all, so much!”

Matching sets of happy tears filling their eyes, Pearl and Volleyball hugged her back, laughing joyously. Sheep-Jasper, for her part, pressed her snout against Sheena’s plush midsection, Baa-ing as gently as she could.

Sheena smiled lovingly. “How about all three of you crash at my place tonight? I demand to be smothered in wool.”

Pearl smiled back, caressing Sheena’s cheek. “That sounds lovely, Sheena.”

Volleyball smiled, scratching Sheep-Jasper behind the ears. “I can’t think of anything better.”

“Baaaaa.”

“Jasper agrees.”

Sheena slid to her feet. “Come on, you crazy kids. Let’s go.”

Sheep-Jasper looked at Amethyst. “Baaa?” Amethyst blinked, then remembered the two empty glasses in her hands. “Oh, right! On it, sis.”

Pearl glanced at Jasper, a mischievous grin on her face. “You know, Amethyst, I think you’ve driven the water bill high enough for the night.”

“Baaa?”

Amethyst caught sight of Pearl’s wink, and winked back. “Sorry, Jasper. Pearl’s right.”

“BAAAA?”

Volleyball gave her a gentle kiss on her Gem. “Guess we’ll just have to keep you like this for a while.”

“BAAA! BAA! BAA! BAA-BAA!”

Sheena leaned down, giving Jasper another kiss. “Aw, c’mon babe. You really gonna deprive us a chance to cuddle all that, cute, sweet, orange creamsicle wool? You adorable, sweet little thing?”

Sheep-Jasper’s eyes were huge, somehow visibly blushing. She gave a crooked smile, along with a weak, submissive bleat.

Steven clapped his hands to his cheeks. “Awwww…”

Lapis stifled a chuckle behind a hand. “Okay, that’s cute as heck.”

“Baa.”

The Jusenkyo Guide raised a meaty hand. “Excuse me, but how am I supposed to get home?”

Garnet placed a hand on his shoulder. “I’ll take you. I have a good sense of direction.”

The Guide gave her a long glance. “Just promise to turn around before we get there. I doubt you’d want to be cursed as well.”

“No problem. Although…” Garnet smiled as her visor caught the light, flashing blue. “I would make quite the Peacock…”

“Eh?”

Steven narrowed his eyes. “Garnet…”

Garnet chuckled. “Alright, alright. I promise not to get splashed. Let’s go.”

“Hey, hang on a sec,” Ranma piped up. She shuffled uneasily, not quite meeting the Guide’s eyes. “Listen, I, uh… I’d super appreciate it if you, uh, didn’t mention this to the Amazons or the Musk? It’s just, they’re both basically in your backyard, and I’m kinda…”

The Jusenkyo Guide smiled understandingly. “Not to worry, Dear Customer. Jusenkyo is neutral ground, and that goes both ways. Your business is your business, not mine, and certainly not theirs.”

Ranma smiled back, a relief settling over her shoulders. “Thanks. Thank you so much.”

With a knowing wink, the Guide took a few long steps after Garnet, and the two vanished into the Warp Pad.

As Pearl’s Polycule headed (or trotted) for the front door, Sheena paused next to Ranma. Ranma stared back at her, uncertain of what was up. With a wink and a smile, Sheena slid her hand out of her pocket, and pressed something small and metallic into Ranma’s hand, before closing it and fistbumping her. Ranma opened her hand, looking at the item.

A small, round pin. Pink, white, and blue stripes. A trans pride flag.

Ranma looked at Sheena with big, wet eyes. Sheena gave her a squeeze on the shoulder. “Lemme know if you ever wanna talk. I’m a good listener.” She turned to Steven and Greg. “Night, kiddo. I’ll have Pearl back tomorrow morning. Greg, would you be able to give us a lift? I came on my bike, and there’s only room for two.”

Greg smiled, producing the keys to the Universemobile. “No prob. I’ve always wanted to try transporting livestock in my van again.”

There was a deafening bleat from outside.

With a click, Ranma’s apartment door unlocked. Ranma and Lapis trudged inside, lugging the bags from the day between the two of them. The two kicked their shoes off indiscriminately. Lapis sighed, relishing the feel of the cool floor under her feet.

“Tadaima.” Ranma mumbled to no one. She set her bags down, flopping backward onto her bed, sighing in relief. “Oof. What a day.”

Lapis set her bags down next to Ranma’s. “Tell me about it. Hey, can I use your bathroom? That slushee is not happy with me.”

Ranma chuckled. “Yeah, go for it.”

“Thanks!” Lapis slid into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. A second later, muffled from the other side: “Why do you have a colander in here?”

Ranma laughed. “I’ll tell ya later. It’s funny.” She stood up from the bed, curling her toes to alleviate the pain in her feet. “I’m gonna make some coffee, you want any?”

“I’ll take the grounds when you’re done brewing it.”

“Gotcha!”

Ranma padded into the kitchen, her feet tapping softly against the linoleum. She reached up and slid the bandanna out of its not, allowing her braid to fall against her neck. Taking the percolator, she began to run hot water into it at the sink.

As she filled the pot, her free hand brushed against the pocket in her skirt, feeling something round and hard inside it. She pulled it out, revealing Sheena’s button.

She had known she was a Girl for a little over a month now. However… it hadn’t really set in that she was Trans until Sheena had given her the button.

Huh. Never realized how different of a feel that is. That shouldn’t even make sense, but it does.

“Ranma? You okay?”

Ranma blinked at Lapis’s voice, noticing the coffee pot was about to overfill. She quickly reached forward, turning the faucet off. She kept staring at the coffee pot, full of hot water.

“Lapis. I meant what I said, about the curse attracting water. Because it does.”

“Okaaayyyy…” Lapis’s voice, still behind her, cautious.

“It’s gonna happen eventually. I’ll be out and about, in really nice girly clothes, and a steam pipe will burst or something else stupid, and I’ll get splashed.”

Lapis’s hands slowly came into view on either side of Ranma’s vision, her arms wrapped gently around her. Lapis carefully took the coffee pot out of Ranma’s hands, setting it down in the sink. She clutched Ranma’s hands with both of hers. As Ranma watched, a tiny waterspout manifested in the coffee pot, the water delicately spiraling upward into the air, then back down into the drain.

Ranma smiled. “Lapis-“

“Shhh. Just watch.”

Without either of the handles turning, water began to slowly trickle out of the faucet. Without falling, it formed shimmering spheres of water, the small blobs gently floating upward, hanging in the air like raindrops, frozen in time.

Lapis gently guided Ranma’s hand to one of them, easing Ranma’s hand open to palm the water blob. It lost stability, splattering softly in Ranma’s hand. It was deliciously cold, refreshing to the touch.

Ranma could feel Lapis smile against the back of her head. “Look. It’s as easy as that.”

As the other water blobs began to slowly drift downward into the sink, Lapis carefully turned Ranma around, looking her girlfriend in the eyes with a warm smile.

“Ranma… I get it. This is new territory, and it’s scary. Believe me, nobody knows how scary getting out of your comfort zone is more than I do. But I promise you, as long as you’ll have me, I’ll be right here alongside you, ready to splash you with some cold water before you can even think of seeing a mirror.”

Ranma’s eyes grew moist, and she gently slipped her head forward. Her lips met Lapis’s, and the two shared a long kiss, there in Ranma’s kitchen, the coffee pot long forgotten.

As the kiss broke, Ranma looked up into Lapis’s eyes. “Thank you, Lapis.” She kissed the Gem on the nose, eliciting a chuckle. “Thank you, so much. You guys are the best thing to ever happen to me.”

Lapis grinned, giving her a small peck on the base of her neck. “You’re not so bad yourself. Plus we both have great taste in pants.”

Ranma laughed in Lapis’s arms at the old joke, before suddenly straightening up. “Oh! I just thought of something!” She darted from Lapis’s arms, jogging for her bedroom, her skirt flouncing along. “I’ll be right back! Just a sec!”

Lapis chuckled, hoisting herself up to sit on the counter.

Ranma reemerged from her room, her hands behind her back. “Now. Close your eyes, and hold out your hands.”

Rolling her eyes with good humor, Lapis closed her eyes and held her palms out expectantly.

A soft cloth bundle was delicately placed in her hands. “Okay, you can open them now.”

Lapis opened her eyes, looking down at her hands. Placed there was Ranma’s familiar red Chinese shirt, slightly worn from age and use.

“That’s for you.”

Lapis blinked rapidfire. “What?! Ranma, this is your favorite shirt! I can’t-“

Ranma smiled. “I want you to have it! I just got a whole bunch of ones that actually fit me today, so I have no reason to wear that one. You’re taller than I am, so that might actually fit you, and that one you shifted earlier looked really good on you!”

“I-I…” Lapis looked down at the shirt, hugging it close to her body. The fabric was incredibly soft, and comforting in an odd way.

“I love it, Ranma. I love it.”

The Next Morning

Lapis cracked an eye open, slowly emerging from sleep. The sunlight shining through the blinds was still relatively dim. The day was still young.

Lapis blinked the sleep out of her eyes, her thoughts reprocessing into wakefulness.

Behind her, she heard the gentle breaths of a familiar, redheaded martial artist.

Lapis rolled over in Ranma’s bed, a tired smile meeting her face. There Ranma lay, in her usual boxers-and-tank-top sleep ensemble, one hand inside her own shirt. She breathed softly, the occasional snore croaking out.

Lapis glanced down at her own body, Ranma’s oversized Chinese shirt around her, having fallen asleep in it. Lapis smiled, clutching a handful of the shirt to her face, inhaling the scent deeply.

It was perfect.

Lapis snuggled up closer to Ranma, laying her cheek on Ranma’s bare shoulder. She draped an arm over the squish of Ranma’s stomach, her other hand behind her shoulder. Ranma smiled in her sleep, lazily wrapping an arm around Lapis, pulling her closer.

Lapis gave her a gentle kiss on the shoulder, feeling sleep creep back up her consciousness. She yawned. “G’night,” she whispered.

Within seconds, Lapis was back asleep, she and Ranma holding each other in their arms, impossibly content.

Chapter Text

October 31^st

Little Homeworld’s

The Barn’s Roof

“842… 843… 844… 845…”

Lapis smirked as her view slowly slid up, then back down, up, down, up, down. She folded the volume of the manga Amethyst had lent her around her finger, glancing downward.

“854… 855… 856…”

The exposed muscles on Ranma’s shoulders and upper back rippled as she did push-ups. One hand was folded behind her. Clad only in her monk pants and workout shirt, her shoulders were a sight to see. Lapis, from her luxurious perch on Ranma’s back, gently stroked her girlfriend’s flexing shoulder with a single, light finger.

Ranma grinned at her touch. “869! 870! 871!”

Lapis smirked mischievously. “Eleven, Ninety-Two, Twelve, Sixty-Nine, Forty Bazillion…”

“Lapis!” Ranma squawked indignantly. “You know I hate it when you do that!”

Lapis giggled. “Sorry.”

“Eight hundred and seventy… seventy…” Ranma slumped to the ground, Lapis still on top of her. “Ugggghhhhh.” She kicked awkwardly upward at Lapis, her foot missing completely. “Jerk.”

Lapis blew a raspberry. “You love it, cutie.”

Ranma chuckled into the floor. “Yeah. I do.” She extended an arm straight out to the side. “Hand me my thing.” Lapis slid her sandaled foot outward, hooking a heavy-duty hand grip, sliding it into Ranma’s grasp. Ranma propped herself up on her elbows, relishing Lapis’ weight on her back as she squeezed the grip with a low Creak-Creak-Creak-Creak.

The late afternoon sun hung low in the sky, an autumn chill in the air. In the Pavilion below, the sounds of local kids laughing could be heard, having come up from Beach City to play around, and get some early trick-or-treating in.

Still straddling Ranma’s lower back, Lapis lay down on top of her, hugging her around the shoulders with a happy squeak. Ranma squeezed Lapis’ blue forearm, offering a gentle kiss on her wrist. Lapis smiled, kissing the back of Ranma’s neck, her braid tickling her nose.

Ranma hummed contentedly, her eyes closing for a moment.

Lapis toyed with her braid, a pastime that was becoming more and more frequent. “Should we go soon?”

Not opening her eyes, Ranma murmured “What time is it?”

“’Bout 5:30.”

“An’ Steven said be there by 7:00?”

“Yep. We could go ahead and get changed, then head out and walk around for a while.”

Ranma grinned. “That sounds great. Is Peri still meeting us there?”

“Yeah, she and Amethyst are tooling around somewhere until then.”

“Cool, cool.”

Lapis smiled. “I can’t wait to see your costume.”

“Ugh. It’s dumb.”

“You’re dumb.”

“Nuh-uh! You are!” Laughing, Ranma spun around, flinging a smiling Lapis off of her. She dove for the blue Gem’s armpits, tickling her without mercy.

Lapis shrieked with laughter, kicking her legs. “Stop! Geddoff!”

Ranma sat back on her haunches, smiling broadly. Still giggling, Lapis leaned up, catching her lips in a kiss.

Ranma fiddled with her earrings as she stared at the articles of clothing on her bed. The package they’d arrived in was tossed to the side. She’d ordered them a few weeks ago for Halloween, and they’d finally arrived today.

This is stupid. This is dumb. This is so, so dumb.

A light knock at the door. “Babe? You okay in there?”

Ranma nodded. “Yeah, just a sec.”

“Gotcha.”

Ranma sighed, running her hand down her face with an annoyed grumble. Then, she sat down on the edge of the bed, grabbing the pair of stockings.

Outside the door, Lapis picked idly at the prop guitar she’d gotten. With a flash, her appearance modifiers shifted into the costume she’d chosen for the human holiday. A light blue leather jacket with red stripes on the biceps. A matching pair of pants. A red handband around her forehead. An enormous pair of boots. The very image of an 80’s rocker.

Three years ago, Lapis hadn’t understood the point of Halloween when Steven tried to explain it to her.

“So… I just spend a night looking like someone else?” Lapis asked, her eyebrows cocked in confusion.

Steven, in all his tiny, adorable glory, nodded with a huge grin. “Yeah! Some people go for something scary, but you can dress as whatever you want! It’s super fun, and you get free candy too!”

Lapis hummed, thinking for a second, before her form lit up in a bright glow. After just a second, the glow faded. There Lapis stood, having replaced her monk pants and crop top with a form-fitting green bodysuit, boots, and a familiarly pointy visor. Lapis had changed her clothes to resemble Peridot’s.

“Uhhhh…. How do I look?”

Steven hummed thoughtfully, examining her from every angle. “Looks great! But you don’t have to dress as another Gem, you can be anything!”

Any further questions were cut off by the door sliding open, and Peridot herself entering. “Hey Lapis, have you seen… my…tablet…” Peridot stood, frozen, her starry eyes wide with awe.

Lapis flashed a peace sign. “Greetings, peon. You stand in the presence of the loud and angry Peridot.”

“This is… the best day… of my life…”

Lapis was pulled from her reminiscing by Ranma’s bedroom door sliding open behind her. “’Kay, I’m done…” Came Ranma’s voice.

Lapis turned. “Awesome! So what-“ Lapis cut herself off, gawking at the sight before her.

Ranma wore a light purple hoodie, the hood pulled above her head. A floppy pair of kitty ears poked from the top of the hood in two separate direction. Beneath the hoodie, a cute purple skirt, with matching leggings leading to her usual shoes. A matching-colored tail was clipped to the hem. A tasteful green barrette fastened into her hair completed the ensemble.

The sleeves hung over Ranma’s clenched fists, her face flushed as she refused to make eye contact. “Nya.” She said, deadpan.

Lapis stepped forward, her eyes wide, her hands slowly migrating upward. She gently tweaked the kitty ears on top of the hood. “Ranma. This. Is so. Adorable.”

“Shut up.”

Lapis snickered, before blinking. “Are you sure? Is this okay with your whole… feline thing?”

Ranma nodded. “Y-yeah. It’s not a real c-cat, so it’s fine. It’s just a piece of clothing. And plus…” Ranma’s face turned beet-red as she looked to the side again. “ ‘feelcute.” She mumbled.

“What was that?”

“I FEEL CUTE, DANG IT.” Ranma yelled, her face turning purple.

Lapis burst into laughter, wrapping Ranma in a hug. “You sure are, hon.”

Leaves crunched under Ranma’s shoes as she and Lapis walked through town. Through Spacetries’ window, Blue Lace Agate gave a quick wave and a smile as she placed a Jack-o-Lantern in the display, surrounded by assorted cupcakes decorated like movie monsters.

Across the street, movement caught Ranma’s eye. She turned, immediately freezing in place.

Onion, local menace, was walking alongside none other than the sharp-toothed black Sapphire, reigning champion of the Quartz Fight Club. The two were pulling a red wagon, piled high with toilet paper, cartons of eggs, a bag of water balloons, and what appeared to be a hockey mask and chainsaw, laid atop a dark trench coat.

The two stopped, slowly turning in unison to look Ranma right in the eye.

“Uh… I… I…”

Lapis gently but firmly pulled Ranma’s arm. “Don’t ask,” she hissed. “It’s not worth the nightmares.”

As they approached the Boardwalk, Ranma smiled, enjoying the cool evening breeze against her face, the ever-present smell of salt coming off the ocean. The sun hung low, barely peeking over the horizon. The sky was lit in streaks of orange, hanging among dark blues and greys, a cloudy evening sky. In the distance, someone was setting off fireworks.

From below: “Hey! Ranma! Down here!”

Ranma glanced over the railing, down at the beach. Shep stood waving with their feet in the cold shallows, Bella the Doberman panting before them. Sadie sat in a beach chair, a blanket over her, taking in the sunset. She offered a wave up at the two. “Happy Halloween!”

Ranma grinned, waving back. “Hi, Sadie! Back atcha!” She pointed a thumb to her side. “Do you two know Lapis?”

Sadie shrugged. “By reputation, I think? Here, come on down!”

Ranma glanced at Lapis. “Do you mind if we stop and say hey?”

Lapis shrugged. “I’m down for whatever. We’ve got time.”

“Great! C’mon, I’ll introduce ya!”

Ranma trotted down the stairs toward the sand, Lapis’ boots clunking on the wood right behind her. Shep tossed a frisbee down the beach, and Bella took off after it.

Ranma gestured grandly to Lapis with both arms held wide, her clip-on tail flickering in the breeze. “Guys, this is my beautiful girlfriend!” Lapis flashed a peace sign and a grin. “’Sup.”

Sadie flashed two fingers right back. “Sup, Ranma’s Beautiful Girlfriend! I’m Sadie, this is my partner Shep, and this is Bella!”

Bella trotted back to the group, frisbee clenched in her mouth. The old dog dropped it before settling down on her stomach. Shep grinned, ruffling her ears. “Good girl.”

Ranma settled down onto the sand. “What are you guys up to tonight?”

Shep smiled, sitting in their beach chair next to Sadie’s. “Got a scary movie date planned. Wanted to give Bella some exercise before we start on Murderbot 2: The Bloodening.”

Bella’s tail began to thump on the sand as Lapis scratched her back. “Steven’s hosting a Thing at his place. We’re on the way there now.”

Sadie gave Ranma a interested smile. “So Ranma, how’s Beach City been treating you? It’s been, what, six months?”

“Has it really?” Ranma’s eyebrows shot upward. “Dang. Time really does fly when you’re having fun.”

In the distance, a high-pitched barking could be heard. Bella raised her head, cocking her ears. She let out a single, half-muffled boof. Shep pet her down the neck. “Shhh. It’s okay, girl.”

A boat-sized smudge was making its way toward the beach. The sounds of oars rowing could be heard over the waves, along with the barking of the unseen dog. Ranma squinted in the poor evening light. “What is that?”

Sadie stood up, trying to make out the figures in the approaching boat. “Ah! It’s the Melon People!”

Ranma blinked, and slowly turned her head to look at Sadie, unaware of how Lapis stiffened next to her. “The Whomst.”

Several of the figures hopped out of the long canoe, wading through the shallow surf to pull the boat onshore. One clicked on a battery-powered lantern, properly illuminating the scene.

A dozen humanoid watermelons, all just over three feet tall, swarmed around the canoe, securing ropes to prevent it from drifting away. Another melon, the size that would win a prize at a county fair, came bounding out of the boat on four legs, barking like a dog. It stumped up to Bella, and the two sniffed each other curiously.

Noticing the seated group, one of the Melonfolk, wearing a worn sea captain’s hat, approached them before offering a hand toward Ranma.

“Waaaggh.” It croaked through a jagged mouth, revealing its red melon interior.

Her eyes wide, Ranma reached up and gently shook the Melon Captain’s hand. “That’s it. I have officially seen everything.”

“Waaaaghh. Wagh waawwaagh wa waaagh.”

Ranma gave a sheepish face. “I’m really sorry, I don’t speak Melonese.”

Somehow managing a smile, the Melon Captain gave a good-natured shrug. “Waagh.” Their eyes suddenly landed upon Lapis, who was doing her best to appear distracted. The Melon Captain visibly blanched, before quickly stepping away, back to their crew. It began warbling orders as the other Melonfolk began unloading several sacks.

Ranma gave Lapis a confused gaze. “What was that about?”

Lapis clenched her fists at her sides, sand cascading through her fingers. “It’s nothing. Come on, we need to go.” She muttered, standing to her feet, not looking Ranma in the eye.

Sensing there was something being unsaid for now, Ranma caught the hint. “We do actually need to head out. Sorry guys, we’ll catch up with you later.”

Sadie gave a wave goodbye as Ranma and Lapis headed quickly down the beach, toward Steven’s house.

The lights of the Boardwalk fading into the darkness behind them, Ranma jogged to keep up with her girlfriend. “Lapis, are you okay? What’s wrong?”

Lapis ground her teeth, as those familiar feelings from several years ago began to bubble up. The anger. The apathy. The general sense of self-loathing.

“I’m fine, Ranma. It’s nothing. Come on, we’re gonna be late.”

“Lapis, I can tell something’s wrong. I know you.”

Lapis whirled around, her face a contorted mask of fury. “You don’t know a damn thing about me!” She yelled.

The churning tide splashed with the sound of an enormous whipcrack, like a heavy rock being dropped into the water. Droplets scattered onto the sand. The air was suddenly very humid.

The ensuing silence was palpable. Lapis felt the also-familiar regret instantly plop into her stomach as her hands flew to her face. Ranma’s face couldn’t be seen in the darkness.

Lapis could feel her hands shaking. “I… Ranma, I… I’m so sorry…”

Ranma took a deep, deep breath, forcing the demons trying to claw out of her memories back down below the surface.

No. Not now. Lapis needs me.

Wordlessly, she reached out. Lapis flinched as she felt Ranma’s hands on her shoulders, but slid easily into the hug.

Lapis buried her face in Ranma’s hair, inhaling her familiar scent deeply. The cat ear hood slid backwards, dangling off Ranma’s shoulders. Ranma clutched her girlfriend tightly, like a lifeline in a stormy sea.

“I’m sorry.” Lapis whispered into Ranma’s ear.

Ranma nodded. “It’s okay.”

The two stood in silence for a moment, there in the darkness between town and the temple. The sound of the evening tide was loud in their ears.

“You’ve probably noticed I have kind of a temper problem.”

Ranma nodded. “Yeah.”

“I’m sorry. I know your ex had one too.”

Ranma’s braid rustled against Lapis’ cheek as she shook her head. “No,” Ranma spoke. “You’re nothing like Akane. Nothing. You’re so much more open.”

Lapis chuckled wetly, a tear trickling from her eye and floating away into midair. “That’s the main reason I haven’t been doing your kata with you as much.”

“I’d noticed. It’s okay though.”

“Is it?”

“’Course it is!” Ranma’s hand snaked downward, wrapping tightly around Lapis’ own. Their fingers slowly interlaced. “I’m not gonna force anyone to do the art if they don’t want to. Believe me, I know what that’s like.”

“I feel like I’m gonna lose control and hurt someone. Hurt you.”

“I don’t think you could ever hurt me.”

Lapis sniffled, falling silent again.

The two stood there, swaying gently in the darkness, in each other’s arms.

Ranma tucked her ear against Lapis’ chest. “Can I say something really weird, but really, really, sappy?”

“Sure.”

“I love that you don’t have a heartbeat.”

A pause. From Lapis: “What?”, her tone genuinely confused.

Ranma nodded. “Yeah. I know you Gems don’t have organs, unless you deliberately shift them. Like, I know you and Amethyst both shifted stomachs and stuff like that because you both like eating.”

Lapis chuckled incredulously. “You are taking me on a journey here, my gal.”

Ranma smirked up at her. “Come on, bear with me, I’ve got a point to make here.”

Lapis snickered, despite herself. “Sorry. Continue.”

Ranma smiled, nestling back into Lapis’ chest. “But you don’t have a heartbeat, since you haven’t shifted one. And I dunno why, but I really like that, fer some reason? It feels… strong. Secure. Like a shield.” She looked up at Lapis’ wide eyes. “It feels safe, is what is is.”

Lapis could feel her eyes tearing up. “Aww, Ranma…” She leaned down, kissing her girlfriend on the lips.

As their lips met, the same thought popped across both of their heads, independent of the other.

I love her.

Ranma felt a whole night sky’s worth of fireworks explode in her stomach, a symphony of butterflies, floating and spinning and twirling around each other. She felt as if she may float away right then and there.

Lapis was seized with a sudden, mighty wave of protectiveness. Mine! it said. She wanted to whisk Ranma away, right then and there, and protect her from every horrible rival and fiancée that had ever darkened her door.

The kiss broke, and Ranma looked up at Lapis’ darkened silhouette. “I… Lapis, I…”

A sudden light blinded the two of them, as a loud siren squawked through the night. Ranma and Lapis flinched, squinting against the light.

The familiar laughter of Amethyst and Peridot could be heard as Amethyst flipped the flashlight upward, Peridot clicking the siren off on the enormous megaphone she held. The two smiled smugly. Amethyst had swapped her usual tank top and shorts for a replica of Peridot’s bodysuit, Peri’s glasses perched on her nose. Peridot, meanwhile, was wearing an ill-fitting replica of Amethyst’s clothes, procured from the local Goodwill.

Amethyst grinned. “D’awww, did we interrupt you two lovebirds in the dark?”

Ranma and Lapis stared, in stunned silence, before Lapis promptly keeled forward, laughing like a monkey. Ranma stuck a middle finger under her eye, and stuck out her tongue at the two gay grapes. “Haven’t you two maroons ever heard a’ privacy?!”

Amethyst and Peridot burst into laughter as well, Amethyst’s warm, scratchy voice mixing with Peridot’s nasal giggles. The four stood there on the beach, laughing.

Ranma straightened up, sharing a grin with Lapis.

The moment was gone. The spell had broken.

But they both knew, there would be time for more words, beautiful words, later.

Steven’s beach house, with its lights on in the night, was like a ship in the middle of the sea.

Amethyst pushed the door open, allowing a warmth to spill out into the cool evening air. “Hey Steven, I’m back! And I brought trouble!”

Steven looked up from the enormous orange bowl he was arranging chocolate bars in. “Hey, guys! Welcome to the party!” Steven’s face had been painted to resemble a skull, with a blue hoodie and shorts over a pair of house slippers. The costume was vaguely familiar, though Ranma couldn’t quite place it. Lapis promptly stepped into the kitchen and wrapped Steven in a tight hug. “Hey, Buddy.”

A chorus of Heys and Hellos came from the living room area as Ranma slipped her shoes off at the door. Connie, Lars, and Spinel were crowded next to each other in the center of the couch, Lars showing the two of them something on his phone. Connie was clad in a simple blue turtleneck sweater with a pink stripe across the midsection, over matching shorts and a pair of sneakers. A large nonbinary flag sticker had been plastered across her forehead.

Spinel had shifted her clothes into a classic ringmaster outfit, golden epaulettes on her shoulders, and an absolutely massive top hat discarded on the coffee table. Lars had put on what appeared to be a pink wrestling singlet and mask, resembling a familiar big cat of wrestling. A familiar pink-white-and-blue flag patch had been added to the shoulder.

Bordering them on each end were, Ranma was delighted to see, her very own student Kiki Pizza, and the kid who worked at the fry stand. They had foregone costumes, and were simply enjoying the good company. Lion lay curled up on the floor on the other side of the coffee table, chewing on a popsicle.

Kiki’s eyes brightened. “Sensei Ranma! Welcome to the party! I love your costume, it’s super cute!”

Ranma beamed. “Hi, Kiki! Good to see you!” She turned, meeting the Fry Kid’s eyes. Ranma offered a small wave. “ ‘lo, Fry Peddler.”

The Fry Kid chuckled as he stood, offering a hand to shake. “I don’t think we’ve actually properly met yet. I’m Peedee Fryman.”

Ranma cocked an eyebrow as she shook his hand. “I’m Ranma. What does P.D. stand for?”

“POOP DECK!” Amethyst yelled from the kitchen, before howling with laughter along with Peridot.

Peedee rolled his eyes good-naturedly. “Har har.”

Lars gave a two-fingered wave. “Hey there, fellow cat.”

Ranma gave an uneasy laugh, squeezing her clip-on tail. “Hi, Lars. Are you supposed to be the Purple Puma?”

Lars shook his head, with a cocky snicker. “I’m my own send-up to the wrestling legend. Call me the Pink Panther!”

Ranma chuckled, offering a closed fist, which Lars met with his own. “Now that’s a match I’d pay to see. You versus the Puma.”

“Ha! I wish! I’d be honored to just meet the Puma someday!”

Ranma and Amethyst’s eyes met. With a sly grin, Amethyst glanced at Lars, shaking her head.

I can never tell him.

Ranma settled in on a cushion on the floor, gently petting Lion around his mane. “So what’s the plan fer tonight?”

Steven shrugged. “Eh. Hang out, talk, maybe do a scary movie if everyone’s up for it. Might order in.”

“So just normal stuff, but in spooky costumes.”

A grin from Steven. “I know! Isn’t it awesome?”

Ranma glanced around, slightly uneasily. “And what about, uh…”

“Don’t worry, Cat Steven is in the Temple for tonight.”

Ranma nodded. “Okay, good. Thanks.”

From her spot sitting at the kitchen table, Lapis spoke up. “We met Sadie and Shep on the beach, they’re doing the same thing. Do we want to invite them too?”

Steven set the full candy bowl on the windowsill. “I asked them, but they said no. Theirs is more of a date thing.”

From Kiki: “Lot of dates tonight, huh? Jenny’s spending the night with Buck and Sour Cream. Steven, didn’t you say Pearl’s doing a thing tonight?”

“Pearl’s isn’t a date. She and Garnet are chaperoning a thing for the local kids at Little Homeworld.”

Ranma grinned. “That’s sweet of ‘em. What about you, Lars and Spinel?”

Spinel cocked a confused eyebrow. “What about us?”

“Well, I know you’re the first officer on Lars’ ship. Is this a date for you guys, or what?”

Lars and Spinel met eyes, before bursting into peals of laughter. Chuckling, Lars wiped an eye. “Naw, naw. We’re just buds.” Grinning, Spinel wrapped Lars in a tight hug, her arms wrapping around his wiry frame multiple times, like a rope. “Wouldn’t have it any other way, Cap’n.”

Ranma flashed a peace sign. “Cool, cool. Still, I bet there’s a lot of Gem Dates happenin’ tonight. Imma take a wild guess that romance wasn’t really a thing before Era 3?”

Amethyst shrugged, looking toward Lapis and Peridot. Lapis shrugged. “Don’t look at me, I’ve only been conscious on a permanent basis for like, the past five years or so.”

Peridot raised a hand. “I can provide answers! If I may?”

Steven nodded, taking a seat. “Go for it! I’m actually super curious!”

Peridot smiled toothily, hopping onto the top of the coffee table as she slid into lecture mode. “It may surprise you to learn that romance was more prevalent on Homeworld in the Bad Old Days than you may think! I myself enjoyed a brief fling with one of my fellow Peridots a few years before coming to Earth!”

Connie leaned forward, fascinated. “Really? That’s actually really surprising.”

Peridot nodded, gesticulating with a finger. “Unfortunately, Homeworld’s now-defunct caste system still reigned supreme at the time. The general idea was ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, Don’t Mix, Don’t Let It Interfere With Your Duties.’ Pearls were completely forbidden from it, but no one would have batted an eye if, say, two Moonstones shared a smooch off the clock. Similarly, a bit of leeway between Gem types was permitted as long as the jobs were similar enough.”

Amethyst raised a questioning finger. “So if like, a Quartz and a Ruby wanted to get together back then, they could?”

“Precisely! Both were soldiers, so there would have been little harm as far as all but the most uptight Agates and Morganites were concerned. It’s only recently that free mixing between the former classes has been allowed, and I say well done for it!” Peridot hopped down from her perch on the table, wrapping up her lecture with a grandiose flourish and a bow.

There was a smattering of applause from those present. Amethyst grinned, giving Peridot a smooch on the cheek. “I love hearing you infodump, Peri.”

Spinel raised a single finger with the audible sound of a slide whistle. “Lil’ tangent here- Steven, did Blue and Yella talk to ya about the plan?”

Steven nodded. “Sure did! I’m super proud of ‘em, too! Glad they’re taking the initiative to learn more!”

At the assortment of querying eyebrows from the other guests, Spinel grinned. “Blue and Yella Diamond are movin’ to Earth full-time! Since they’ve helped Co-President Zircon and Co-President Zircon revamp Homeworld’s government, they don’t really have much of a reason to stick around there, so they asked Steven if they could move planets!”

Lars blinked rapidfire. “Yeesh. This house is gonna get super cramped.”

Spinel waved a hand. “Naw, naw, they ain’t movin’ here here. They’ve got a place lined up in… Steven, where did they say their place was?”

A thumbs-up from Steven. “Empire City! It’s such an interesting place, and since housing is so affordable there now, it seemed like a good spot to put down roots. Spinel’s gonna be joining them when the Sun Incinerator is on shore leave, too.”

Ranma hummed. “Neat. So, what about White Diamond?”

A sudden, awkward silence fell over the room. Spinel suddenly found something interesting on her shoes to look at. Steven cleared his throat, shifting from one buttock to the other. Connie’s gaze darkened, her fists clenching around the hem of her sweater.

Ranma blinked. “What?”

Steven sighed. “Ranma, you didn’t know, so it’s okay, but White left Homeworld about a year ago. She’s exploring other parts of the galaxy.”

Spinel, not without some bitterness, added “There was an argument. Dat’s all I’m gonna say.” Lars gently rubbed Spinel’s back, sliding his wrestling mask off his face.

Ranma shuffled uneasily. “Yeesh. I’m sorry, Spinel. What happened?”

Spinel glared daggers at Ranma. “There was. An argument.”

Ranma raised two placating hands. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry.”

Steven coughed. “The point is, Blue and Yellow are moving to Earth! I’m actually planning on Warping over there at some point, see if they have any ideas on reversing Pearl, Jasper, and Volleyball’s curses.”

Ranma snorted. “Good luck. I do mean that, by the way. Jusenkyo magic is so effing chaotic, I don’t think anyone’s ever really been able to cure it successfully.”

There was a rapid knock-knock-knock-knock at the door. Steven hopped to his feet, reaching for the bowl full of candy bars. He crossed to the door, swinging it open.

One of the Melonfolk stood on the doorstep. It waved hello. “Waagh-wa-wagh!”

Steven gave a knowing grin. “Waaaaiiiit a minute… that’s not a costume! Guys, this Trick-or-Treater is an impostor!”

With a grin, Connie snapped a picture of the Melon with her phone. Kiki’s hands squished her own cheeks. “Awwww, he’s so cute!”

The Melon smiled, somehow managing to blush across its green melon shell. It reached up, retrieving a chocolate bar from the candy bowl Steven held. Steven ruffled it on its head. “You guys here to barter for supplies again?”

“Waaarrrgh.”

“Alright, well, don’t get into too much trouble this time. Let me know if you guys need help, okay?”

The Melon gave a nod, before turning and toddling back down the porch stairs, down to the beach.

Ranma shook her head as Steven shut the screen door. “I really need to stop being surprised by stuff in this town.”

Steven chuckled as he set the candy bowl down. “Short version, healing spit, watermelon seeds, seeds grew melons, melons became sentient and established an island utopia.”

Ranma crossed her eyes comically. “What, again?”

Her thumb sticking to one side out of her mouth, Connie typed something on her phone. “And, sent. My girlfriend is gonna get a kick out of those guys.”

Ranma blinked rapidfire. “Wait, you have a girlfriend?!”

Connie grinned. “Sure do!”

“When did this happen? Who is she?”

Connie waved a dismissive hand. “Oh, you’ve never met her. She lives on the West Coast. We’re long distance.”

Lars crossed a leg as he settled deeper into the couch. “Neat! And you guys are able to make it work?”

“Yep! We do video dates, stuff like that. We met in my LGBT Edged Weapon Enthusiast Discord group.” Connie blushed as she tilted her head back. “She’s so cool, and so nonbinary…”

Steven raised a vigorous hand. “I demand to be allowed to plan your wedding!”

Connie rolled her eyes good-naturedly. “Steven, we literally haven’t even met face-to-face yet.”

Out of nowhere, a loud gurgle sounded from Ranma’s stomach. Ranma froze as Connie slowly turned her head to look at her, a sardonic eyebrow raised. “Pardon?”

“Uh. Sorry.”

Connie chuckled. “Someone hungry?”

Lapis stood, stepping behind Ranma and planting a kiss on the top of her head. “You’re always hungry.”

Ranma blushed. “I like food, sue me!”

“Babe, I keep telling you you need to eat more.”

Steven shrugged. “I’m kinda peckish too, to be honest. All that watermelon talk got to me- fun fact, actually, really good melon is like 100 bucks in Japan. But yeah, who’s hungry?”

There was a collective show of hands, including from Lapis and Spinel. Amethyst grinned. “Wish we could get that enthusiastic a response from Pearl. She’d love food if she could get past her chewing hangup.”

Lars raised an inquiring finger. “Are there even any restaurants open for delivery in this town on Halloween?”

Steven winced. “Ooh, right. Kiki, Fish Stew Pizza’s closed tonight, isn’t it?”

“Even if it wasn’t, I would refuse point-blank, Steven,” Kiki crossed her arms. “You know me, I’m strictly pizza-free outside store hours. You’re lucky I’m not sick of our other food yet.”

Ranma raised a hand. “What other food do you guys serve?”

Kiki smiled brightly. “Oh! We also serve Lamugee, which is a spiced rice drink, and Chin Chin, which is like pastry chips. They’re both Papi’s recipes, from Ghana.”

“Neat! I don’t think I’ve had Ghanaian food before. No, I tell a lie, I had Jollof Rice once. That was super good.”

Kiki leaned forward, fascinated. “Where did you get Jollof Rice? I don’t know many other Ghanaian restaurants in America.”

Ranma slid her cat-ear hood backward. “Nah, it was like ten years ago. My Pops and I stopped at a restaurant in China that served it. They also served these fried plantains with it, that was sooooo good.” Ranma smiled, mouth almost watering at the memory.

She sighed, her memories of restaurants a world away turning toward her favorite one. “Man, I wish you guys could meet my friend Ukyo. He makes amazing okonomiyaki.” Catching Lars’ querying eye, she explained. “It’s kinda like Japanese pizza? It’s got pork, cabbage, tempura…”

Steven hummed thoughtfully. “Want to make that?”

Ranma blinked, looking to Steven. “Wait, what?”

Steven smiled. “Do you want to make okonomiyaki? I can probably find a recipe online, if you want.”

Ranma’s face slowly melted into an enormous smile. She slowly reached forward, gently seizing Steven’s lapels. “Yes. Yes, Steven. We must do this.”

Thirty Minutes Later…

There was a loud, awkward-sounding knock at the front door. Steven opened it, and quickly slid to the side.

An enormous spherical robot, the size of a refrigerator, slowly stumped into the beach house. Its round body hovered a foot above its cone-shaped legs, and a giant pair of Kamina shades that matched Peridot’s were stuck to its front.

It shuddered for a moment, before two large doors on its top swung open, revealing several grocery bags in its insulated interior.

In a very deep, synthesized voice: “HUGBOT HAS COMPLETED GROCERY DEPLOYMENT. THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATRONAGE.”

As Steven removed the groceries, Peridot skipped over to the robot, planting a gentle kiss on its “forehead.” She grinned affectionately as it slowly pressed its two front legs against the sides of her midsection, in an awkward robo-hug. “Thank you, Hugbot, sweetie! Momma’s super proud of you.”

“THANK YOU, MOTHER. HUGBOT SHALL RETURN HOME NOW.”

As the robot slowly turned to leave, Peridot rapidly waved goodbye. “Fly safe, Hugbot! I’ll be home later!”

Shaking her head, Ranma followed Steven into the kitchen. “Peridot built a robot that dispenses groceries and hugs. I take it back, now I’ve seen everything.”

Grinning, Peridot hoisted herself onto the countertop, sitting cross-legged. “Hugbot is a good, good robo-lad. And he dispenses more than hugs, too!”

“Dare I ask what else Hugbot dispenses?”

Peridot’s grin widened, exposing her sharp canines. “Remember I told you about the Increasingly-Large Orbs Filled With Hornets I sent the human government?”

“Yyyyeeeaaahhhh?”

Lapis chuckled, ruffling Peridot’s hair. “Hugbot was the Orb.”

Ranma blinked several times rapidfire, before slowly drawing Peridot into a hug. “Peridot, you’re so effing cool.”

Snickering, Peridot offering a closed fist toward Lapis, who bumped it with her own.

Steven chuckled his infectious laugh as he removed the okonomiyaki ingredients from the bag. “Now, I’ve got a recipe for this on my phone, but I’m gonna be deferring to your judgement here, Ranma. You’re more familiar with this than I am.”

Kiki raised a hand from the couch. “Want me to tag in? If okonomiyaki is like Japanese pizza, you’re gonna want my expertise.”

Ranma laughed. “Fair enough, student-o-mine. Get in here!”

Smiling, Kiki rose to her feet, before bowing stiffly. “Yes ma’am, sensei!”

Ranma cracked open the package of tempura, fresh from the shopping bag. She inhaled deeply, the familiar scent of seafood delightful in her nose. She could almost feel

Ukyo’s hand on her forearm, gentle but firm, as he carefully took the kitchen knife from Ranma’s hand. “Ranma, sugar, you gotta stop waving that thing around, or I’m gonna have a lawsuit on my hands.”

Ranma chuckled sheepishly. “Sorry, Ucchan. I keep forgetting.”

During the lunch hour, Ucchan’s was fairly crowded, but not frantically so. Various customers talked amongst themselves at the tables or the bar. The delicious smell of frying pork and shrimp hung heavy in the air. Konatsu zipped from table to table, taking orders and clearing empty plates. Heat from the griddle caused sweat to prickle at Ranma’s brow. Outside, rain thundered down, tapping against the windows.

Across the bar, in front of them, sat Akane and Shampoo, side by side. The two laughed lightly at Ranma’s struggles cooking. It was one of those rare days where everyone was getting along halfway decently. The weather had no one in the mood for the typical ambushes or attacks, so several members of the Nerima Wrecking Crew had taken shelter in Ucchan’s establishment.

Ukyo smiled. “I’m gonna take a wild guess that yer dad never taught you proper kitchen etiquette?”

Akane laughed sarcastically, chewing idly on the tines of a fork. “If Genma has ever tried to cook on his own free will, I’d be very surprised.”

Ukyo held the knife in front of himself, his other, empty hand about a foot apart. “Look, if you’re gonna talk and gesture when using a knife, you gotta use your other hand. I know, it feels good to point with a knife, but it’s waaaay too dangerous.”

Ranma nodded. “Gotcha. Sorry, Ukyo.”

“Like this.” Ukyo, keeping his knife hand steady, moved his empty hand further away from it. “I caught a fish, thiiiiiis big!” He handed the knife back to Ranma, who mimicked Ukyo with her free hand. “Thiiiiis big.”

Shampoo laughed loudly. “Airen, we’ll make a chef of you yet!”

Something cold and wet against Ranma’s hand jerked her from her reverie. “Eep!”

She glanced down. Lion, having been drawn by the smell of seafood, was pressing his nose against Ranma’s hand. His eyes were big and pleading.

Connie spoke up from the couch. “Hey! Bad Lion! You act like I don’t feed you!”

Ranma grinned, scratching Lion behind the ear. “Sorry, big guy. Maybe we’ll give you some leftovers when we’re done.”

A familiar five-note chiptune chimed loudly. At the sink, to Ranma’s right, Steven was running the head of cabbage under some hot water to clean it. He glanced to the right, toward his phone, left on the counter. Garnet’s face filled the caller ID picture.

Steven glanced over his shoulder. “Ranma, can you answer that for me? And put it on speaker? Sorry, my hands are wet.”

Ranma stepped quickly across the kitchen, sliding her finger across the screen. She held it up, poking the speaker button. “Hi, Garnet!” Steven said.

“Steven, tell Ranma to step away from the left side of the sink.” Garnet’s commanding voice came from the speaker, the sound of a crowd in the background.

Ranma and Steven shared a raised eyebrow. “Hi, Garnet, Ranma here. You’re on speaker, I actually stepped away from that side to answer the phone.”

“Ah, good. My plan worked. Sorry for the noise.”

“What noise-“

Several things happened in the span of less than ten seconds. Steven wouldn’t have believed it if he hadn’t seen it himself.

Lion, attempting to get to the shrimp on the countertop, lifted himself up on his front paws.

Several dishes on the counter shifted, including a recently-washed pot lid that had been drying next to the sink.

The lid clattered loudly into the sink, falling handle-first directly under the stream of water.

The hot water rushed along the concave interior of the lid, flinging itself into the air directly toward the spot where Ranma had been standing just a few seconds before.

Lapis spun to her feet from her seat at the dining room table, her hand flung out, a look of raw fury on her face.

A shower of ice cubes, the size of marbles, clattered to the floor.

The other guests applauded lightly as Steven quickly turned the water off. Ranma stared, eyes wide, at the tiny ice cubes all over the floor. Her eyes slid upward to Lapis, whose hand dropped. Seeing Ranma’s gaze, she smiled awkwardly. “Ah, yeah, I was super inspired by your Soul of Ice thing, sorry to rip off your technique-“

Lapis was cut off by Ranma leaping through the air toward her and flinging her arms around her, capturing her lips in a deep kiss. Lapis froze, before hugging Ranma tightly. Ranma pulled back, her eyes wide. “Lapis… that was… so freaking cool… thank you!”

Lapis smirked. “Hey, I said water wouldn’t hurt you with me around, and I meant it!”

Steven smiled, putting the phone off of speaker. “Crisis averted. Thanks, Garnet.”

“Not a problem.” Garnet responded smoothly. In the background, the ruckus of the crowd was growing louder. Steven scrunched his brow, confusedly. “What’s all that noise, Garnet?”

”We’ve encountered unexpected hostilities in the form of Onion and Black Sapphire. We’ll be coming home for a moment to get some towels. Expect us in a few minutes.”

In the distance, Pearl’s voice could be heard faintly. “Garnet, get off the phone and help me with this- ONION! Young man, don’t you dare! Put that water balloon down this instant-“ There was the sound of a splash, followed by a series of enraged baas.

“Got to go. See you soon, Steven. I love you.”

Steven ended the call, tongue out. “Hoo boy.” He glanced over at Lapis and Ranma, who were now-

Oh Stars.

Lapis had dipped Ranma very low, kissing her deeply. Ranma’s eyes were closed, a single leg popped up below her.

“Ah-hem.”

Lapis extended her arm and raised a single index finger, kissing Ranma for another few seconds, before placing her back on her feet with a smirk. Ranma, blushing as red as her hair, tried to pull her cat-ear hoodie over her face, to no avail. “I…I…I… ah… buh… weh…”

Kiki giggled as she uncanned the dough. Peedee rolled his eyes. “Ugh. Alloromantics.”

The Warp Pad lit up brightly. Garnet stepped out, a very sullen, dripping-wet Pearlsheep held under her arm. Pearl’s hooves dangled above the floor.

Amethyst winced. “Ai-yi-yi, look what the feline coughed up. What the heck happened to you guys?”

“Baaaaaa.”

Garnet nodded. “What she said.” She strode evenly toward the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.

Ranma, who had just begun to regain her composure, stared dazedly at Lapis. “Lapis… you’re, uh… you’re a really good kisser…”

Lapis smiled, flashing her sharp canines confidently. “Thanks, babe.”

Ranma flushed even deeper. “And you have really, really nice teeth.”

Lars smirked. “Gotta love those Gem fangs. Like somethin’ outta some kinda strange, mythical beast.” He waggled his fingers for effect, shooting Spinel a look.

Spinel grinned back at the lead-in. “Y’know, during our space travels, I met a mythical beast. I got up early one morning, and I shot a mythical beast in my pajamas.”

“How it got in my pajamas, I shall never know!” The room chorused.

90 Minutes Later

Kiki carefully set the tray on the coffee table. “Ta-da! Okonomiyaki, courtesy of Ranma!”

The dish smelled downright heavenly. The top was scattered with seaweed strips and green onions. On the left side, shrimp and pork intermingled with ginger and diced cabbage. On the right side, the vegetables sat alone, for the non meat-eaters in the house.

With a dramatic flourish, Steven produced a rolling pizza cutter from a drawer, before handing it over to Ranma with the ceremony of a knighthood. “Your weapon, madame.”

Grinning, Ranma lightly plucked the cutter from Steven’s grasp with her fingertips, tossed it in the air, caught it behind her back, and immediately dropped it, the utensil clattering to the tabletop.

At the assorted laughter and applause, Ranma winced with a smile. “Eesh. Sorry, Steven. That was almost so cool.”

Lapis raised a good-natured eyebrow. “Whaddaya mean, almost?”

A quick flurry of slices in each direction later, and the dish was divvied out to everyone present for their approval.

Lars smiled around a full mouth. “Thish ain’t half bad, Ranma!”

Peedee waved a hand apologetically. “I’m gonna pass, if that’s okay. I don’t have a good relationship with cabbage. Gives me the Bad Mouthfeel.”

Ranma hummed. “It’s… hmmm. It’s missing something.” She chewed thoughtfully, her brow cinched. “Steven, can I have a look in your fridge?”

“Sure, go for it.”

Ranma trotted over to the fridge, leaning over to have a good look around. “No… no…AH-HA!” She triumphantly snatched an item from the door, turning to return to the coffee table. Held in her hand was a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.

Peedee’s eyes shot to enormous sizes. “No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no, no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-“

Lars gave Peedee a genuinely confused look. “Peeds, what’s up? You’re the Fry Guy, condiments are your whole thing.”

“Only heathens put mayonnaise on anything, Lars, much less fries or pizza. Mayonnaise is a bastard condiment. Don’t @ me.”

“How the eff did you do that with your mouth.”

Catching Lapis’ eye, Ranma flashed her a mischievous wink. Grinning wickedly, Ranma flicked open the squeeze bottle’s top with her thumb.

Peedee shook his head slowly. “No.”

Ranma slowly nodded her head, still smiling evilly. She began to squirt a generous helping of mayo onto her slice of okonomiyaki.

“Please no…”

Nodding again, Ranma slowly opened her mouth, and began to inch the slice closer and closer to her mouth.

“Don’t… don’t…”

“Uh-huh…” Ranma nodded. “Uh-huuuuhhhhhhhhh!” She took an enormous nosh of the slice, toppings crunching under her teeth.

The rest of the gathered group, who had been watching this exchange with bated breath, leaned forward in anticipation of the judgement. Peedee made a face like he had just thrown up in his soul.

Ranma swallowed, opening her eyes.

“Delicious.”

Peedee stood, dramatically stomping into the kitchen. He opened a lower cabinet, and began to climb inside. “I am disgusted, I am insulted, I dedicate my entire life to our Lord Jesus Christ, and this is the thanks I get-“

The door slammed dramatically as the rest of the party howled with laughter.

One Hour Later

“I’m sorry, Ranger Brad. I guess all this talk of horrible mutilation has me on edge.”

“That’s alright, Doctor Armstrong. This horrible mutilation has a whole lot of folks on a whole lot of edges.”

Kiki’s eyes rolled so far back in her head, they were in danger of falling in. “Who wrote this dialogue?!”

Peridot smirked. “Kiki, remind me to show you the CPH reboot. I think I’ve got this monstrosity beat on bad dialogue.”

Kiki raised a cynical eyebrow. “Worse than ‘actual advances in the field of science’?”

“Am I flinching?”

At Peridot’s side, Amethyst paused in chewing on an unpopped popcorn bag to snap her fingers in a Z-formation.

Connie snuck a glance to her right. Lars had fallen asleep on his first mate’s shoulder, and was snoring softly. He was drooling into Spinel’s epaulet. Spinel caught Connie’s eye, before grinning and raising a finger to her mouth.

Connie nodded back, feeling her phone buzz in her pocket. She turned it on, wincing at the brightness in the dark room. She quickly lowered the screen brightness before opening the message.

From: gf

got home safe from party. goin to bed. super tired.

From: Connie

Okay! Still at Steven’s. Probs gonna stay the night. You get some rest.

From: gf

will do lol. hap halloween

From: Connie

Happy Halloween! G’night!

From: gf

nite cutie <3

Clicking her phone off, Connie turned and gently nudged Steven. Her QPP leaned close as she whispered. “I’m gonna go take my binder off and change out of this sweater, I’m about to die. I’ll be right back.”

Steven nodded. “Gotcha. I’ll be here.”

Connie grinned, gave Steven a quick peck on the temple, and sauntered toward the bathroom.

As someone onscreen began to scream as the music swelled, Ranma tilted her head upward from Lapis’ lap. Above her, the Gem was staring at the ceiling beams, seemingly lost in thought. The hand that had been stroking Ranma’s hair had paused, her other hand gently kneading the couch beneath her.

“Lapis?” Ranma whispered. “What’s up?”

Startled, Lapis looked down, before smiling softly. “Sorry. Just thinking.”

Ranma’s hand trailed upward, gently squeezing Lapis’ hand over her forehead. “Talk to me, Blue. Somethin’s been chewin’ on ya all night.”

Lapis sighed. “Yeah. I’m still sorry for yelling at you earlier.”

“You know I’m not mad about that.”

Lapis smiled, squeezing Ranma’s hand. “I know. It’s just… you’ve told me so much about your past, and everything you went through, and… and I’ve barely told you a thing about mine. What I said was true, you don’t know anything about me.”

Ranma shook her head. “You hush. You know you don’t need to explain anything to me. If you wanna, then great, I’ll listen.”

Lapis hummed, smiling down at Ranma, her eyes soft. “Really?”

“Really. You didn’t judge me, I won’t judge you.”

Lapis’ eyes grew wet, as she craned her head downward, kissing Ranma on the forehead. “Not tonight. But soon. Is that okay?”

Ranma nodded, smiling. “Any time you want.”

“Thanks, Ranma.” Another kiss to the forehead. “You’re the best.”

“Darn tootin’.”

The Next Morning

November 1^st

The dim blue light of early morning shone through the front windows of the beach house. Outside, the waves crashed gently against the shore.

Lapis stirred softly as a weight pressed down on the couch cushion next to her, before wrinkling her nose as something wet and slimy slid against her face. She opened her eyes.

Lion sat perched on the couch next to her, staring deeply into her eyes.

“Hello.”

Lion leaned forward and licked at her face again. Lapis smiled, gently pushing back at the enormous apex predator. “Awright, awright, I’m up. You hungry or something?”

His eyes widening slightly, Lion slipped down off the couch, padding over to the kitchen. Lapis chuckled, before looking down at her lap. Her smile widened.

There was Ranma, right where she’d been when the two had dozed off the previous night. The redhead breathed softly in Lapis’ lap, her kitty hoodie pulled down low over her eyes, leaving only her nose and mouth visible. A spare blanket was crumped on the floor, having apparently been placed on them, and then shrugged off in the night.

The house was silent, dimly lit by the early morning. Everyone else had apparently gone home after the party ended.

Lapis gently eased Ranma off of her lap as she sat up, stretching satisfyingly. Her form lit up briefly as she shifted away the 80’s rocker costume from the previous night, her usual crop top and monk pants coming into view. She stepped into the kitchen, opened the freezer door, and produced one of those cheap ice creams Lion loved.

Lapis shucked the wrapper off before tossing Lion the treat. Lion caught it out of the air, and set about chewing on it. One of the gumballs that served as the eyes crackled in his mouth.

Walking slowly, heel-to-toe, Lapis silently snuck toward the stairs up to Steven’s room. She took the steps quietly, skipping the squeaky one. On her left, her hand traced along the wall, smooth paint giving way to the rough caulk from the patch job, repairs after the Cat Fist incident.

Reaching the stair where she could just barely see into Steven’s room, Lapis silently craned her neck. She smiled at the sight before her.

Steven and Connie lay sprawled together on Steven’s bed, a tangle of limbs as they snuggled together. Still half-clad in their costumes, the two queerplatonic partners snored, held in each other’s arms. On Steven’s TV, the DVD menu for some anime series shone, the volume turned way down.

Her hands in her back pockets, Lapis stepped down the stairs, half-doing a kick-dance as she descended. Reaching the bottom, she glanced out the window. Though she couldn’t see the town from this angle, she imagined she could hear voices in the distance as the town woke up.

She slipped her sandals on, before walking back to the couch and gently kissing Ranma on her hoodied forehead.

“Mmm?” Ranma mumbled.

Lapis smiled. “Shh, sorry. Go back to sleep.”

Smiling back, her eyes still covered, Ranma nodded. “ ‘kay, Lapis. G’morning…” A moment later, she was back to snoring.

Lapis shot a look at Lion, chewing on a decimated popsicle stick. “I gotta step out for a bit. If I give you another of those, do you promise not to wake her?”

Lion stared at her silently.

Lapis exaggeratedly stared at the ceiling, while moving her hand to resemble a mouth. “Sure do, Lapis!” She looked back at Lion. “Okay, good boy.”

She retrieved another Lion Licker, and tossed it to Lion. Bribe completed, Lapis stepped out onto the front porch. She shivered softly, relishing the cold, salty breeze coming off the sea. This was the kind of chill she liked, before winter made her cold and sluggish.

Lapis hopped onto the porch railing with a strong jump, and used her momentum to launch herself forward into the air. As she fell, her wings shot from her back, and she flung herself around, barely skimming the sand. She alighted softly on the railing of the deck outside of Steven’s room, ran along it, her arms outstretched alongside her wings, before allowing herself to tip to the side. Her wings caught her, and shot her into the sky with a dramatic spin, flinging water droplets in many circular arcs.

She caught the carved Gem in the forehead of the Temple’s statue with both hands, swinging backward and upward to crouch on top. With another vertical jump, she flew straight upward. She propelled herself into multiple backflips, before landing with a flourish and a grand finish on the top of the lighthouse.

She whooped loudly, laughing with her arms wide. Flying just never, ever got old.

This high atop the hill, she could see the entire length of the town. Below her stretched the boardwalk, and the Big Donut, not yet open for the day. Far on the other end of town, the road that led to the highway and Ocean Town. On the cliffs above that, Little Homeworld, the Solar Panel Antenna atop the Barn spinning gently.

Movement on the beach drew her attention. Just below the boardwalk, a familiar canoe sat in the surf. Small, chubby green figures milled around it, loading objects in for the journey home. Distantly, the familiar high-pitched yaps of the Melon Mutt.

Lapis’ face fell… before suddenly tightening in a look of determination. Something bright blossomed inside of her chest. Hopping off of the top of the lighthouse, Lapis glided down, over the slope of the hill, over the Big Donut, slowly descending, until her feet made contact with the sand.

The assorted Melonfolk paused in their activities, collectively looking at her. Their faces were unreadable. The one in the Captain’s hat stepped forward. “Wawgh?”

Lapis slowly, deliberately unclenched her fists, and took a deep breath.

“I… I’m sorry. We… Malachite… I hurt you. I was just as responsible for what Malachite did to you as Jasper was. I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve any of that, and I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but…”

Lapis was cut off by the Melon Captain stepping forward, and laying a cool, hard hand on her stomach. He stood there, his hand on her, before his mouth curled up at the edges in a jagged smile. “Wuh-waaagh.”

Understanding, Lapis smiled. “Th… thank you.”

The Melon Captain grinned back, before suddenly wrapping his arms around her waist tightly. Lapis’ arms reared up. “Woah there, we got a hugger!” She knelt down, hugging the Melon Captain back. “Thank you. Thank you so much.”

Minutes later, Lapis stood atop the lighthouse once again, looking out to sea. The Melonfolk’s canoe slowly schlepped toward the horizon, the sound of the oars already inaudible above the waves and distance.

She slowly breathed out through her nose, crouching down, and finally sitting on the sloped roof of the lighthouse. The old shingles were rough and gritty beneath her.

That moment had… not gone the way she’d expected. Or imagined? Feared?

She felt a lot better. That much was certain. It was like a weight she hadn’t known she was carrying had been lifted from her shoulders.

But still. Was that it? That simple?

It was weirdly underwhelming, in its own way.

She glanced down off the roof, at the sandy beach far below. Though the evidence was long, long gone, an enormous green ship from the Homeworld Arm-mada had crash-landed there.

Where she had pulled herself, coughing, from the wreckage, only to be dragged back to earth by Jasper’s meaty hand.

Where Jasper had demanded her help in destroying the Crystal Gems, her unknowing jailors.

Where she had Fused with Jasper, only to entrap the two of them in a mad, babbling abomination of a Fusion, boiling the ocean with hatred.

As she often did when thinking about this, the sound of Steven, sweet little Steven, shouting a despaired “Nooooooo!” bounced through her head.

That sound, of her little buddy, horrified beyond hope that she was betraying him.

It was one of her worst memories.

Now her little buddy was big. They were so much closer now. Gems didn’t have a word for the human concept of siblings, but if they did, Steven could be described as a brother to her. Not just to her, but to Peridot, and Spinel, and so many other Gems.

And he had long forgiven her, of course.

But that memory still remained. That despairing cry.

Stars, I’m a bad person.

From far below, she heard a familiar “Hup!” followed by the sound of two feet landing on the lighthouse roof behind her.

“Hey.” Came Ranma’s voice.

Lapis blinked, before turning. There Ranma stood, her hood hanging down off her shoulders. The clip-on tail was missing, Ranma having left it at the beach house.

“Ranma, did you just…jump up here?”

Ranma shrugged. “I mean. Yeah? I can jump good.”

Lapis laughed incredulously. “You can jump good. How’d you even know I was up here?”

“Lion licked my nose an’ woke me up. I came outside lookin’ fer you, and I saw a cute lil’ blue blob on top of the lighthouse. I left a note fer Steven in case they wake up before we get back.”

Hands in her front hoodie pocket, looking up at nothing in particular, Ranma leisurely strode across the lighthouse’s roof. Her sneakers crunched on the shingles. She plopped down next to Lapis. “Penny fer your thoughts.”

Lapis sighed, half-shrugging her shoulders. “I dunno. I just… I went and had a conversation with the Melons.” She blinked. “That’s a rare sentence.”

“I noticed things were kinda tense between you guys last night. It was hard to miss.”

Lapis took a deep breath, an emotional reset. “Ranma… legit question. What do you know about me?”

Ranma hummed thoughtfully. “Well, I know you’re super cool, you’re buff and sculpted like nobody’s business, you’ve got great taste in girls…”

Lapis stuck her tongue out at her girlfriend. “Har har. Seriously, though.”

Ranma smiled. “Okay, okay. Um… I know you were stranded on Earth after the Gem War. I know you were trapped in a mirror, though I don’t really think I understand what that means. I know you and Peridot were Almosts, and that didn’t end well. I know you came back and fought the Diamonds. Peridot told me about you dropping a building on Blue Diamond and shrugging off her strongest attack like it was nothing. She told me about that at great length, and at great volume. And I know you helped build Little Homeworld.”

Ranma wrapped her hands around Lapis’ arm, nuzzling her head against Lapis’ strong shoulder. “Annnnnd… I know you’re super funny, and super understanding. I know your art makes you happy, and it makes me happy to see it all. I know I can rely on you, and that you keep me safe, and make me feel safe. I know you’ve got a lot of stuff chewin’ on you, same as I did, and I know it’d probably help you a lot to talk about it.”

Lapis rested her face against Ranma’s hair, breathing in the smell of her shampoo.

“Have you ever asked Steven or the others about me?” Lapis asked softly, fragilely.

“Nah. You guys didn’t ask Sadie and Shep for info about me. The least I could do was be patient enough to hear about you from you.”

“…I’ve done bad things, Ranma. I’ve hurt people.”

Ranma gently shook her head. “That’s who you were. It’s not who you are now.”

Lapis squeezed an old shingle in her hand, under her. “Maybe, but… it still feels bad. I still feel bad.”

Ranma shrugged. “And… I think that’s okay, Lapis. Look, you don’t haveta talk about it if you don’t wanna, but if you do, you know I’m here.”

The list of people Lapis had hurt stretched out before her in her head, like a line of figures.

The whole thing with stealing the ocean. Steven. Connie. The Crystal Gems. Jasper. Peridot. Pumpkin the First. Freckles and the other Lapis Lazuli she and Steven had met.

Lapis turned her head, softly kissing Ranma on the top of her head. “Fair warning, I’m pretty screwed up.”

Ranma chuckled, gesturing to herself. “Trauma buds?”

Lapis smiled. “Trauma buds.”

Silence for a moment. Then:

“Last chance. You sure?”

Ranma nodded. “I’m sure.” She trailed a hand downward, interlacing her fingers with Lapis’. The bluenette squeezed back.

“Okay… let me tell you about Malachite.”

The waves hissed and whispered far below them. Far off on the horizon, the grey morning clouds were gently dispersing as the sun began to peek out, bringing a new day to Beach City.

Chapter Text

November 1^st

The Beach House and Temple

Pearl didn’t mind water. She loved it, even. Pearl liked to sit on the window seat in the house and watch the rain, the delightful scent of a fresh-brewed mug of tea steaming away nearby, like incense. She liked to watch it trickle down the window, liked to watch it flow and trickle down streams. Even the once-wasteful-now-tasteful fountains in Empire City were able to tickle her fancy.

And therein lay the problem.

By nature of being a victim of a Jusenkyo Curse, Pearl was now a magnet for cold water, constantly only a splash away from being covered in wool and losing her capacity for speech beyond “Baa” and “Baaa.”

This misfortune had made itself known, the hard way, the first day after she’d been cursed, when she’d found out she was now effectively banned from her own room in the Temple.

Her room, which consisted entirely of gigantic columns of waterfalls, fountains, and pools.

The Temple door had fortunately still been open the first time she got splashed, and was dragged out of the pool by a cackling Amethyst and a smirking Garnet.

Well. I shall have none of that.

Pearl stood in front of the Temple door, her clenched fists at her sides. Her room, her armory, her Sanctum Santorum, was now off limits, and by no hand but her own.

Ranma did warn us, she mused. Still, we’re in this situation for the foreseeable future, and we have to make the best of it.

After the humiliation at the Halloween Party the previous night, today was a day for experimentation. A quest for knowledge. She glanced down at the human clothes she had clad herself in, her holy armor for today’s quest.

A rubber rain hat and slicker. Matching rubber pants. Big, buckety rubber boots that wouldn’t be out-of-place on a Ruby. Rubber gloves. And a pair of swim goggles for good measure.

The slick yet clingy surface of all the rubber made her skin crawl. Still, desperate times called for desperate measures.

Her Gem glowed under the rain hat as she activated the door. The Temple door slid open, revealing her room just beyond. Waterfalls and rivers cascaded in an immaculate, intricately-coordinated display, as high as a human skyscraper, far higher than the hill attached to the outside.

Her beloved student Connie had once called it “TARDIS Tech.” Pearl smiled at the memory, despite not understanding the reference.

Pearl took a single, confident stride forward into her room, the Temple door sliding shut behind her. She stood on the stone podium at the entryway, surveying what lay before her.

Slowly, she raised a single boot-clad foot, setting it gently on the surface of the water.

I’m in Gem mode right now, so I should be able to walk on the surface. Thank goodness for the adjustable weight of hard light!

The rain boot sank barely an inch, before stopping firmly. Pearl raised her foot again, and lowered it again. No change.

Gingerly, she stepped forward onto the water, letting her weight rest on the single boot on top of the water.

Excellent! Progress made!

Pearl smiled, satisfied. “Ha! The glass is half-full.” She took another step forward.

Her foot plunged underwater like a stone.

With a yelp, Pearl vanished below the surface with a sploosh.

Amethyst’s Room

“Antler… leg bone… weird-o femur one… arm bone… heh, Heads-Shoulders-Knees-and-Toes…”

From her spot curled up on an old mattress, Amethyst paused from sorting her collection of bone knives.

A sound, like a low, warbly scream, was quickly approaching.

Out of nowhere, a screaming sheep was rushed over the waterfall leading from the upper Temple, followed by an assortment of rubber clothes slopping over the edge after her.

Sheep-Pearl, her wool soaked and ruffled, washed up on the shore of Amethyst’s room, quite without dignity. She lay there on the dirt floor, her four hooves pointing straight up.

“Hey, Pearl.”

“Baa.”

“Didja forget to focus your chakra to the bottom of your feet?”

“Baa.”

November 2^nd

Funland

Steven shook his head incredulously, a smile on his face. “I won’t lie, this is adorable.”

At his side, Sheena nodded rapidly, her hands barely covering the enormous grin on her face. Next to her, Mr. Harold Smiley stood, his arms crossed, his face matching his name.

Outside Funland, a small crowd of parents and enraptured children had gathered around the mass of pink fluff sitting primly on the dock. All around her, kids were smiling and cooing, gently petting any available surface. An oversized sweater and a pair of bellbottoms lay folded neatly on a bench nearby, a pair of spectacles atop it.

Sheep-Volleyball lazily opened her single eye. “Baaa,” she spoke lightly, the children erupting into squeals of delight.

Steven turned to Smiley. “How the heck did this happen?”

Smiley shrugged. “We had to close down the coaster for an hour for maintenance, and the kids were getting antsy. Ms. Ball here offered to keep them occupied until the coaster was ready.” He gestured to the pink sheep. “I don’t understand how half of this Gem stuff works, but whatever works, I guess.”

Steven nodded. “She seems to be having fun, at least.”

Sheena’s hands were slowly roaming all over her own face. “This is… so… freaking… cute…”

At Volleyball’s side, Onion rubbed a balloon on her wool, before releasing it. It stuck where it was with the smallest zap of static cling. Volleyball didn’t seem to notice.

Steven glanced at Smiley. “About how much longer until the coaster is fixed?”

Smiley stared deadpan at Steven. “Ten minutes ago.” He motioned to the kids. “They didn’t care. I should’ve opened a petting zoo.” Smiley paused. “Hey, Steven-“

“No.”

“Gotcha.”

November 3^rd

Jasper and Volleyball’s Cave

Jasper plopped down heavily next to Amethyst. Both were breathing heavily. Amethyst raised a single fist. “Good match, sis.” Jasper wordlessly tapped her fist against Amethyst’s as the two recovered.

The clearing outside of Jasper’s furnished cave had been trashed by the brawl, dirt and dust disturbed by heavy footprints, impact craters, and the occasional felled tree.

The only untouched areas were the cave itself, and Volleyball’s flower garden, which was marked off by a set of tiny trellises. Despite the Quartz-vs-Quartz match that had just taken place, the garden was utterly pristine.

In the past few years, the cave that Jasper was once squatting in was practically homey. With the help of her Polycule, along with Steven and Amethyst, Jasper and Volleyball’s home-away-from-Homeworld had been bedecked with comfortable furniture, a thick curtain across the entrance, and a gigantic mass of pillows, cushions, blankets, and quilts in the center. The cave floor was covered in rugs of varying shapes and sizes. A space heater in the corner came in handy during the cold nights. A few strings of fairy lights were hung around the cave roof.

Outside of the cave, a gravel road led away from the cave, through the woods, eventually exiting onto the main road. Parked just outside the cave was a vintage, bright orange ’72 Maibatsu Barracuda, Jasper’s pride and joy. The muscle car, one of the few things Jasper permitted herself to like about Earth, had come about as a result of Sheena introducing her to some Hot Rodder friends of hers. One thing had led to another, and Jasper had a big, loud monument to most Earth males’ mid-life crisis sitting in her driveway.

 Amethyst hooked the small cooler she had brought with her, opening it to reveal a pair of Gatorades. She fished out the orange one, holding it toward Jasper.

Jasper shot her a side-eye. “Don’t patronize me, twerp.”

Amethyst kept holding the drink out. “You’re allowed to like things, Jasper. Drink it.”

After a long pause, Jasper sighed, snatching the bottle from Amethyst’s hand. She punctured the cap with a single sharp claw, tilting her head back and squeezing the bottle, letting it squirt into her mouth. She moaned in irritation. “Why does that have to taste so good?”

Amethyst shrugged, tossing the entire other bottle down her gullet, gulping with satisfaction.

“So.” Jasper broached. “Pearl tells me that new human friend of yours is teaching combat to Gems.”

Amethyst nods. “Sure is. Ranma’s super awesome.”

“Hmph. The modern Quartzes really are in trouble if they’re getting lessons from a walking bag of meat.”

Amethyst elbowed her lightly. “Easy there. You’re dating one of those bags of meat.”

Jasper snorted. “Sheena’s different.”

A smirk from Amethyst. “Uh-huh. Sure.”

A long sigh from Jasper. “Ugh. Fine. I’m sorry I called your meatbag friend a meatbag.”

Amethyst patted Jasper on her muscular back. “I’ll take it.”

“Still. How does that even happen? Quartzes are supposed to be strong. Humans are squishy.”

“Would you believe she wiped the floor with the entire Quartz Fight Club?”

Jasper stared at her. “She did not.”

“Sure did. Ranma’s weirdly strong for a human.”

“Huh.” Jasper blinked. “I don’t know whether to be impressed at her, or embarrassed at the Quartzes.”

There was a long silence, the two Quartzes simply listening to the sounds of nature, which had been slowly creeping back toward Jasper’s cave, closer and closer each day.

“Amethyst, what the eff happened to me?”

Amethyst turned her head to look at her adoptive sister. “What do you mean?”

Jasper was staring into the blue sky. “I was the strongest of the Gempire. I was Pink Diamond’s favored warrior. I was Yellow Diamond’s problem-solver. I was the face of Homeworld’s Pride.”

Jasper motioned bitterly with her water bottle. “Now look at me. Yellow and Blue Diamond have abdicated the thrones. Pink Diamond snuffed herself out twice in a bout of interspecies fuckery. Who even knows where White Diamond is, anymore. Homeworld is run by a pair of Zircons, the Gempire is gone and everyone’s just okay with it, and I’ve returned to where I started: a dirty hole in a backwater planet that everyone cares about for some reason.”

Jasper paused for several seconds, before speaking again. “And… I love it. I’m romantically involved with a human and two Pearls, there’s nothing for me to fight except you, and I turn into a fluffball when I get wet, just for good measure. And I love it. Stars damn me for saying it.”

She sighed heavily, before plopping onto her back, a cloud of dust rising around her. Her hair was scattered below her, like a carpet. “I’m soft. I’ve gone soft, and I don’t even have the decency to be ashamed about it.”

Amethyst allowed herself to fall backward next to Jasper. “Nothin’ wrong with bein’ soft. I’m soft, and I’m still awesome.”

“It just doesn’t make sense. Millennia and millennia of progress for the Gempire, and it all gets stopped and turned around in like, five minutes. And I’m okay with it? Why? If me from three years ago saw me today, she’d beat me senseless.”

Amethyst shifted herself so she was leaning against Jasper, her head resting on Jasper’s stomach. “You gotta find your new normal, sis. No one said it was supposed to be easy.”

“No one said it’s supposed to be hard, either.”

Amethyst trailed a single chubby hand upward, her purple fingers gentle squeezing Jasper’s orange hand. “Lemme ask you this. If you had the chance, would you want to go back? Back to Homeworld, the Gempire, the way things used to be?”

Jasper stared up at the sky, pondering the question, thinking about

-trudging through the archway out of the stadium, her triumphant grin instantly falling the second the crowd couldn’t see her. If she’d looked over her shoulder, she’d have seen a dozen Gems scattered around the arena, their forms destabilized.

Her arm was stiff, and ached at her side. A large, ugly bruise had formed around her sunken, dead eyes.

Behind her, an unseen voice was yelling about the Beta Kindergarten Quartz That Could. Because she Could. Jasper Could. She Could because Had To, and she Had To because she Could. The picture of Homeworld’s Perfection.

“About time you finished up out there. You’d think you have all day.” Came Moss Agate’s sharp, clipped voice, not bothering to look up from her screen as she walked. Her green boots clicked on the tiles.

“No, my Agate.” Jasper said.

“Get to a destabilizing pod and get cleaned up, you look like some kind of bottom-feeder.”

“Yes, my Agate.”

“And be quick about it. You’re due for the new holo-posters in an hour. Bring your best smile.”

“Yes, my Agate.”

“And when you’re done with that, report to Yellow Diamond. You have a mission pending in Facet 2Q2-YKR. Get to it.”

“Yes, my Agate.” Jasper began to walk in the direction of the destabilizing pods, her claws digging into her palms at her sides.

A yell from behind her: “Walk faster!”

Homeworld’s Hero walked faster.

Jasper blinked. It was awfully humid out here. She was getting sweat in her eyes.

She turned her head from the sky, looking at the entrance to the cave. The curtain was drawn over the entrance, but she could already picture

-the pillows, soft beneath her back. The cave floor, a spot uncovered by rugs, cool beneath her bare foot. She stared up at the cave ceiling.

On her stomach, Volleyball’s head lay. Her pink buns had been unraveled, her long pink hair spilling around her. She breathed softly, a slight nasally tinge to it. Some part of Jasper’s brain registered that it was because her right nostril was likely as faulty as her right eye. Complications from the same injury?

On Jasper’s left, Sheena’s hand, rough and calloused, lay in Jasper’s outstretched claw, wrapped gently around her thumb. Trusting, faithful. Unafraid of the stories.

Pearl’s head was on Sheena’s chest, Sheena’s other arm wrapped around her to hold her close. A quilt had been drawn over the two of them. Pearl had looked Jasper in the eyes and smiled, insisting that she wouldn’t fall asleep. She was out in seconds.

The three of them. Jasper. A silent cave, save for the quiet hum of the space heater.

No more battles to fight. And yet Jasper would murder the world for any one of them.

Ironic, she mused.

“No.” She mumbled.

Amethyst smiled. “Awesome.”

Above them, thunder rumbled. Amethyst cracked her eye open. “Woah, that blew in quick.”

Even quicker was the sudden rattle of heavy rainfall, before Jasper could even process what was happening.

Moments later, a thoroughly waterlogged orange-cream sheep waddled into her cave. Fallen leaves and grass stuck to her wool. Amethyst slid through the curtain after her, wincing sympathetically. “So, uh… don’t suppose you guys got running hot water and didn’t tell me?”

“Baa.”

I take it baa-ck. This planet sucks.

November 4^th

Little Homeworld’s Forge

The worst thing about being a sheep, Pearl had decided, was the clicking.

Click-click-click-clickclick-cl-click-clickclick-cl-cl-cl-cl-click-click

As a naturally graceful Gem, Pearl had walked with quiet, gentle footfalls her entire 10,000-some-odd years of existence. Yes, it was unfortunately part of the base programming for Pearls, but truth be told, Pearl liked to walk silently. It let her feel more precise, more in control.

Fun Fact: it was impossible to walk silently on a hard floor with four hooves.

Click-clack-clickclick-click-cl-cl-click-click-click-click

Her silent, measured steps had turned into an awful, constantly-shifting staccato, a mismatched clicking beat that her brain would desperately try to categorize into a rhythm. This would inevitably lead to her tripping over her own hooves.

Click-click-cl-cl-cl-click-click-click-click-clickclickclickclickCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICK-

Bismuth turned around, drawn by the sound, to see an incredibly angry Sheep-Pearl glaring directly at her cute lil black hooves as she rapidly stomped in place.

“Uhhh… Pearl? You okay?”

The pointy-wooled sheep glared directly at Bismuth, before letting out a defeated “Baaaaa...” She sank to her stomach on the cool floor of Little Homeworld’s mini-forge, her tiny hooves sprawled in front of and behind her. Bismuth could almost see a tiny, irritated cloud of smoke rising from her head.

Bismuth sighed, before easing herself down into a seated position next to Sheep-Pearl. The sheep-shaped Gem grumbled, before lifting her head and laying it on Bismuth’s muscular lap. “Baa.”

Bismuth nodded. “I hear ya. Sorry Snowflake accidentally froze the pipes. You sure you don’t want me to boil some water the hard way?”

“Baa-Baa.” One hoof tapped twice on the floor for No.

“Ah.” Bismuth nodded understandingly. “You’re just waiting out of spite at this point, aren’t you?”

“Baa.” One hoof-tap for Yes.

Bismuth raised a hand, gently running her rough palm over the wool on the back of Sheep-Pearl’s neck. Pearl stiffened briefly, before relaxing further into Bismith’s leg. “Baa?”

Bismuth’s hand froze. “Is this okay?”

A pause.

Then…

Tap.

With a warm smile, Bismuth resumed stroking Pearl’s wool. She hummed contentedly.

It’s so soft. I knew wool was soft already, but this is somehow even softer! How do you do it, Pearl?

Sheep-Pearl smiled, rubbing her head deeper into Bismuth’s lap. The blacksmith’s giant hands were so warm, so comforting. She could easily fall asleep like this.

Bismuth smiled. “Y’know what else might make you feel better?”

“Baa?”

“Wool, I know ewe like it when I ram some good ol’ wordplay into the conversation just through shear force of will. It woold be a calambity if I didn’t!”

In her lap, Sheep-Pearl snickered some rough laughter, grinning toothily. Bismuth grinned right back, encouraged.

“I know it would definitely behoof me to throw out some jokes, even if ewe haven’t herd them before. The crowd fleece the scene before my pun expertise! After all, I’m an expert in my field!”

Sheep-Pearl was actively laughing Baa-ha-ha-ha’s in Bismuth’s lap at this point.

Alright, Bismuth, big finish!

“Well, since you’re officially baaside yourself, and I don’t have a single ruminant of pride left in me, I guess I’ll stop. At least now I know not to be sheepish about the barnyard puns.”

From across the forge: “Manure making some awful jokes today. Cud you please stop?”

Bismuth glanced up at Purple Jasper, who had been modeling a heavy set of armor as Bismuth glanced it over for faults. Bismuth waved a hand. “Ah, poo on you. I know I’m good.”

As if to punctuate it, Sheep-Pearl raised her head one last time, blowing a raspberry in Purple’s direction. Purple crossed her eyes, blowing one right back.

Bismuth paused. “Actually, thinking about it, isn’t it pasture time to head to Ranma’s defense course?”

Purple’s eyes widened as she realized the time. She bolted from the forge with a cacophony of clanks.

Bismuth called after her. “Hey, wait! You forgot to… take off… the armor.” She sighed. “Long gone.” A glance down. “You doing okay-“

In her lap, Sheep-Pearl’s eyes had drifted closed, and she was breathing softly. Bismuth bit her knuckle, squealing softly with delight.

hooooooh stars that’s so effing cute

Smiling, Bismuth gingerly got comfortable, settling in for the next few hours until Pearl woke up. “Guess I live down here, now.”

As Pearl snoozed, Bismuth gently ran her thumb over the rough underside of one of Pearl’s hooves, and the smooth, hard front.

Somehow, even in sheep form, Pearl was just so beautiful.

November 5^th

Grinning, Spinel slapped the side of the Sun Incinerator with a CLONG-CLONG. “Dis bad boy can fit so many misfit space pirates in it.”

Volleyball slid her spectacles down her nose, sizing up the spacecraft. “She’s a gorgeous vessel, Spinel!”

Spinel hooked her thumbs into her jacket’s lapels as she strode around the parked spaceship atop Spacetries. “Yeh, Lars is pretty proud of it. So was Emerald, but she hasn’t touched this baby in years.”

Volleyball rolled her eye as she followed Spinel toward the front. “I still don’t understand how Fleet Commander Emerald hasn’t backed down yet. The Diamonds aren’t even backing her anymore.”

Spinel snorted. “When Emerald was formed in the ground, I’m pretty sure someone forgot to put in the Quit. Luckily, she can’t catch the fastest ship in the galaxy! And even if she could…”

Spinel pointed a thumb at the enormous cannon on the front of the ship. “She’d have to deal with the Wonderful Rambo Machine here! Lars had the gunsmith Bismuths of Nova-Archelon-72 install it.”

The Wonderful Rambo Machine was a gigantic multi-barrel revolving laser cannon, each barrel big enough to fit in. It was currently disconnected from the main body of the ship, attached only by a pair of brackets. The business end was pointed up at a 45 degree angle, the other end resting on the ground.

Volleyball stood on her tiptoes, sliding her spectacles down to peer down into the barrel. “And you’re sure this is safe to have here?”

Spinel nodded, twirling her floppy pilot’s hat around one finger. “Yeh, the ship’s in park, and there’s no one at the controls. Lars wanted to make sure that it couldn’t go off and level the shops across the street.” Spinel laughed nervously. “I’m, uh. I’m not allowed. To fire the cannons. Anymore.”

As if on cue, as Volleyball gazed down the barrel, her spectacles slid from her face. As she grabbed for them in midair, they bounced off one set of fingers, then the other, before falling down the barrel of the gun with a muted clink.

A deep, synthesized seemed to come from nowhere. “WEAPON TAMPERING DETECTED. ACTIVATING PERIMETER DEFENSES. HAVE A NICE DAY.”

Volleyball had just enough time to see the depths of the Wonderful Rambo Machine glow a bright orange before the gun discharged with a single deafening KA-PEW.

Spinel squinted against the flash as her vision adjusted, two fingers wedged deeply into her ears. The Wonderful Rambo Machine’s glow dimmed as it began to cool, the perimeter defenses deactivating.

Far in the distance, high above the water, she could see a tiny pink blur tumbling over and over, an oscillating scream just barely audible before it landed far out to sea with a splash.

Spinel winced. “Awwww, nooooo… not again… oh, I’m so grounded…”

A mile out to sea, a very waterlogged pink sheep slowly sank to the bottom, a stream of bubbles drifting after her, until she settled on the ocean floor.

Sheep-Volleyball opened her single eye, glancing around at her surroundings.

A muffled “Baa” was hidden among a cacophony of bubbles coming from her mouth.

With a watery sigh, she hauled herself to her hooves, and began the long, arduous task of hauling 150 pounds of soaked wool back to shore.

November 6^th

The Lighthouse

“Ronaldo’s Truth-Seekin’ Log Date: November… fifth I think? I dunno. Point is, I have singlehandedly captured one of Beach City’s many cryptids!”

With a flourish, Ronaldo spun 180 degrees, continuing to pace atop the cliff. “At o-2:47 p.m.-hours today, an enormous orange blur shot through Beach City! Like some kind of demented speedster! In their wake, they viciously left an enormous slipstream, along with a reversed magnetic field! Countless metal objects throughout Beach City were telekinetically pulled along after the beast, like an Orange Magnetic Sonic the Hedgehog!”

Turning to face the Lighthouse. “But now, thanks to the beast’s own hubris, I have caught it! I shall call it the Great Mag-naldo-Beast! As soon as the local news returns my calls, I will be touring the media circuits, showing one and all the terror and majesty of the-“

Ronaldo’s ramblings were cut off by a sudden, steady stream of water. He sputtered, dropping his tape recorder into a muddy puddle.

Connie stared dully at him, cocking the super-soaker dramatically. At her side, Steven sighed. “No, Ronaldo, still not a Cryptid. Just another Gem. Like the last… eight ones.”

Ronaldo’s eyes widened. “B-b-but Steven-“

The sky darkened behind Ronaldo as something massive blotted out the sun. Ronaldo turned, his eyes wide, already knowing and fearing what he’d see.

There Garnet stood, her face unreadable behind her glasses, simply staring silently in judgement, like an angry God.

In a very small voice, Ronaldo whimpered. “Understood. Gonna leave now. Have a lovely day, ma’am.” He turned tail, and began to sprint down the hill toward town.

Steven stepped toward the outside of the Lighthouse, observing the ridiculous scene before him.

Plastered upside-down against the wall was a very puffy orange sheep, her eyes seething with rage. Stuck to her wool were several loose items from around town- a few balloons from Funland, someone’s missing sock, a trash can lid, an empty tin can, several Styrofoam packing peanuts, and Cat Steven, meowing confusedly.

“Hi Jasper. You okay?”

”Baaaaaa.”

“Okay, that’s a no.”

Connie reached for the empty can. There was an audible snap as a crackle of electricity leapt to Connie’s hand. “Ouch!”

Steven pulled his phone from his pocket, selecting a number from the call log.

“Hey again, Ranma. We found her.”

“Okay, good!” Came Ranma’s voice over the speaker. “Sorry about this, Steven. I promise it won’t happen again.”

“Please, actually? I’m fine with the Fight Club, and I’m fine with you guys sparring, just please don’t let this stuff spill out into the streets. People might get hurt.”

“Right, right, still operating off Nerima logic. Sorry.”

Connie cocked an eyebrow. “Jasper, did you attack Ranma?”

Sheep-Jasper stiffly shook her head, glaring at Connie upside-down. “Baa.”

“No, no, nothing like that, Connie!” Ranma’s voice chimed in. “She wanted to see what I was made of, since I wiped the floor with the Quartzes. An’ to be fair, I wanted to fight her too. We sparred, water got splashed, one thing led to another…”

Steven looked Sheep-Jasper in the eyes. “What did we learn today?”

“Baa.”

“Did we learn not to do the Quartz Spin when you’re in sheep mode?”

“Baa.”

“Did we learn not to just rocket yourself off into the distance while Quartz Spinning?”

“Baa.”

“Did we learn that wool causes static cling, and that Gem powers like, oh say, the Quartz Spin, just make the static worse?”

“Baa.” Jasper baa’d darkly.

“Okay, good.” Steven nodded, satisfied. “Garnet, do you mind-“

Garnet slid her hands between Jasper’s wool and the wall, yanking hard. With a loud crackle, Jasper’s be-staticked form released itself from the wall. The electricity flowing through her body, Garnet flicked the ball of lighting high into the sky like a high-powered coin flip. Far in the distance, thunder rumbled.

Sheep-Jasper flung over her shoulder, Garnet began to stride down the hill. “Come on. Let’s go get you some hot water.”

Behind her, Steven and Connie barely held in their laughter at the sight of Garnet’s afro suddenly sticking straight out in every direction.

November 7^th

Sheena Marquez-Miyuki’s Home

The front porch’s floorboards creaked under Sheena’s bare feet as she stepped outside. The cold morning air made her shiver as she wrapped her bathrobe around her. Green flannel, just like her favorite shirt.

In her hand, a mug filled with that sweet, sweet bean juice. Painted roughly on the side were the words “Cis Tears”.

She eased down into a chair on the porch, looking out at the morning. Tucked deep in the woods outside of Beach City, Sheena’s house was an almost impossibly comfy one-story bungalow. A long gravel driveway led up the hill to the main road. To the side, a garage containing her pickup, her motorcycle parked next to it in a spot of honor.

This was the house Sheena had lived in her entire life. When her parents had retired to Florida Island, they had left her their house, now hers.

Flanking the entrance to the porch, two small Progress Pride Flags fluttered in the breeze.

Sheena sighed contentedly, leaning her head back as she drained her mug. This was the life.

From inside the house behind her, she heard the interior door to the bedroom creak open. Gotta fix that hinge again, she mused to herself. She smiled warmly at the sets of approaching footsteps. These days, she very rarely slept alone.

Pearl lightly pushed the screen door open with the tips of her fingers. She had already shifted into her usual day clothes, save for her jacket. Sheena smiled as she admired her bare shoulders, lithe yet built.

Pearl traced a hand down the back of Sheena’s neck, leaning in to kiss her girlfriend softly on the lips. “Good morning, darling.” She slid into another porch chair. Next to it was the teal case containing her guitar. She ran a hand down the rough exterior, idly considering pulling it out later.

The screen door opened again as Jasper stepped outside, the boards thumping under her massive frame. She was still clad in her sleep Appearance Modifiers, a tank top and enormous sweatpants. In one hand, a plate with a used coffee filter and the grounds from Sheena’s percolator, along with a spoon.

Clinging to Jasper’s shoulders like a pink monkey was Volleyball, her eye barely open. Her face was half-buried in Jasper’s voluminous locks. She hummed tunelessly, still half-asleep. The simple pink jammies Sheena had bought her rode up her ankles, which were locked around Jasper’s midsection.

“Blerg.” Jasper grumbled as she sat down on the edge of the porch. She shoveled a spoonful of coffee grounds into her mouth, chewing quietly.

Sheena smiled as she stood, leaning over to kiss Jasper on the cheek. “Good morning, you two.”

“It is not morning.” Volleyball mumbled sourly.

A smirk from Sheena. “Ah, c’mon Peeps, it can’t be that ba-a-a-a-a-d.”

Volleyball laughed blearily as Jasper rolled her eyes. Volleyball slid off of Jasper’s shoulders, gently plopping onto her butt. She reached up, wrapped her thin fingers around Jasper’s massive shoulders, and gently began to knead the tension out of them. Jasper sighed, leaning backward into Volleyball’s grasp.

“Sorry you had a bad time yesterday, hon.” Volleyball murmured as she massaged Jasper’s shoulders.

Jasper sighed. “Can’t have been worse than yours, you had to walk back underwater.” She delicately took one of Volleyball’s hands, and kissed it softly. “It’s not the whole sheep-thing, it’s the fact that I’m so… weak in sheep mode.”

Sheena shrugged. “Nothin’ wrong with being weak.”

Volleyball nodded. “I’m weak, and you love me.”

“You hush.” Jasper mumbled. “You’re one of my three favorite people, that counts as strength. ‘Sides, at least you like being that fluffy.”

Pearl hummed thoughtfully. “Maybe we just need to find you a new way of looking at it.”

Raising an eyebrow, Jasper turned to look at her girlfriend. “Like how?”

Eyes closed, Sheena smirked. “You’re not weak, you’re just a bottom.”

Sheena calmly took a sip of her coffee as Jasper turned ruby-red. Her eyes wide, Jasper leapt to her feet. “I’M A WHAT?!!?”

Sheena, Pearl, and Volleyball quickly shared a mischievous look.

Pearl leaned back in her chair. “You do have to admit, dear, you’ve become significantly more… submissive? Since we got cursed?” She punctuated this sentence with a half-lidded gaze.

Jasper, whose knees were Absolutely Not trembling even slightly at that Look, began to sputter with indignation.

Volleyball nodded sagely. “It’s true. All we have to do is tell you how adorable you are…”

Jasper’s absence of a heart went pitter-pat in her chest at the A-word.

Sheena grinned ear-to-ear. “And you just fall to pieces.”

Jasper was somehow turning even redder.

Sheena leaned back, gesturing smugly. “See? Total bottom.”

“A sub.” Pearl chimed in.

“An outright Pillow Princess, even.” Volleyball punctuated.

That did it.

Jasper, growling incoherently, plucked Sheena from her seated position. Sheena, cackling with laughter, was roughly placed on her feet, before Jasper thrust a single clawed hand past her head, impacting the outer wall of Sheena’s cabin. Jasper leaned in toward her tall  girlfriend, snarling “Could a bottom do this?”

“Ah! The kabedon!” Sheena snarked, putting a French pronunciation on the Japanese word. “How ever shall we top this?” She glanced past Jasper’s shoulder, smirking at the sudden glow from behind her.

Jasper turned to look-

-nani-

-and was promptly frozen in place as a hand the size of her head pressed against the wall behind her. Sheena slid out of the way, grinning.

Royal Pearl, all 12 feet of her, gave Jasper what she was pretty sure was a wink. She was kneeling to fit under the porch’s roof. The tip of her crown gently dragged against the wood. She leaned in, filling Jasper’s nose with the scent of flowers. “Aww, how sweet. You think you can beat me?”

Despite herself, Jasper found herself grinning enormously at this impromptu escalating lesbian-off. She winked at Royal Pearl. “I might be able to come up with something… Pearl?”

Royal Pearl lit up again as she split into her components. Pearl could only be seen for a brief few seconds as she effortlessly twirled into Jasper’s waiting arms. Carrying Pearl bridal style, Jasper leapt from the porch with a boisterous laugh.

That laugh became far more booming as Tangerine Quartz landed on the ground, shaking the property. A starry-eyed Volleyball stepped backward, next to an equally starry-eyed Sheena. Both had enormous grins on their faces as they held hands in anticipation.

Taking a knee and leaning far down, Tangerine pushed a hand the size of a small car into the porch, carefully laying it against the wall. It barely fit, but the effect was enough.

Tangerine smiled, exposing her mouth full of fangs. Hot breath blew into the porch. “You sweet, sweet little darlings! I think I’ve won this one, thank you very much.”

Volleyball slowly turned her head to look Sheena in the eye. Sheena, catching her gaze, found her eyes widening. “Don’t. Even. Think about it.”

Volleyball, smiling impishly, slid her hand upward, wrapping it around a single traffic cone-sized claw. “Oopsie!” With a light, tinkly laugh, Volleyball lit up, along with Tangerine Quartz.

Sheena stepped forward, her eyes shining at this rare sight. A wind began to blow from the sheer power of the fusion taking shape before her. Grinning, Sheena ran for the end of the porch, leaping off, sprinting through the wet grass in her bare feet. Her bathrobe fluttered behind her as she ran for the back of the house.

A fifth, pink eye opened in the center between Tangerine’s four eyes.

Her jacket reemerged as a cape, as long as the house was wide.

An extra pair of arms extended from her midsection, for a total of six.

Her height increased, from two stories to three.

Double-Terminated Tangerine Quartz (DT for short) chuckled, a sound like rolling thunder, like a great and terrible goddess come to bring devastation and destruction upon the land. She glanced herself over, striped with orange and pink. “Ah… perfection.”

Behind the house, Sheena huddled low, her back against the wall. She couldn’t stop herself from giggling with anticipation at what was coming next.

The ground quaked as she saw a pair of hands lay themselves flat on the ground, far to the left of the house. Sheena was quietly grateful that her home was isolated. No neighbors to bother.

An enormous hand the size of a car descended from the sky, impacting the ground next to her. The sky was blotted out as DT loomed overhead, kabedon-ing Sheena’s entire house effortlessly.

DT’s smile was like a canyon. “Gotcha, darling.”

Grinning up at them, Sheena whipped out the object tucked into her armpit, pointing the closed nozzle directly up at them. DT’s eyes widened as two of their eyes tracked the long green garden hose down from Sheena’s hand, winding through the grass, and up to the spigot on the side of the house, dripping loose water droplets.

Sheena smirked. “Booyah.” She squeezed the trigger on the nozzle.

DT had just enough time to burble a mouthful of water before the sound of baa-ing filled Sheena’s ears. Her eyes closed against the water falling back down on her face, Sheena laughed boisterously. She opened her eyes, and froze where she was.

What she had been expecting was that the sudden splashing would have destabilized the Fusion, causing her three girlfriends to tumble out into three wet wads of wool.

What she hadn’t been expecting was a three-story tall sheep, striped a fluffy pink and orange, to stare back down at her with many eyes. Multiple sets of long black legs ending with hooves the size of barrels dangled before it, the wooly giant sprawled over the roof of her house.

“BAA?”

Sheena, her eyes the size of plates, began to make an odd squealing noise in the back of her mouth.

Behind the counter of Hot To Tot, Beach City’s only Tater Tot-based food truck, Peedee Fryman paused where he was.

On the counter, the cup of soda he had been refreshing himself with was… rippling. Not in rhythmic pulses, but constantly, as if an earthquake were just beginning.

He glanced up, craning his head out of the window of the food truck.

An enormous six-legged sheep was stampeding- no, prancing- down the beach, kicking up a column of sand behind it.

Atop its head, a pink-haired woman in a bathrobe laughed maniacally. “YES! YES! FORWARD, MY GENTLE GIANT! FORWARD!”

Peedee rolled his eyes, before placing the laminated OUT TO LUNCH sign in the window, and pulling the cheap curtain closed.

Chapter Text

November

1:30 am

Lapis’s Studio

The late-night silence of Lapis and Peridot’s shared apartment was broken only by the soft scratching of pencil on paper.

Hunched over her easel, lit only by her small desk lamp, Lapis grumbled irritably, chewing on her eraser. Somehow, for whatever reason, inspiration was eluding her tonight.

It was less than two months until Candlenights, and she needed to have the perfect gift ready to give Ranma. Her girlfriend deserved the best! Which is why it was so rage-inducing that the necessary details for the gift Lapis was designing kept eluding her.

She had set aside this time to work on designing Ranma’s gift. Although she enjoyed sleep, Lapis didn’t necessarily need it, so a few hours before, a yawning Ranma had bid them good-night, and toddled off to her apartment a few floors down. Steven and Connie were at their respective homes, likely asleep. Now Lapis was the only one among their particular circle of close friends awake.

Lapis groaned, gently bonking her head on her sketchpad. At her feet, a snoozing Pumpkin Junior Junior opened a single eye, before falling back into slumber.

In the hammock in the corner, a single booted foot dangled out. Peridot had fallen asleep, her tablet having gently shifted from her hands to be tucked next to her head. Her cheek was flat against the dark screen. She had gone from switching between calculations, a mobile game, and scrolling Tweetblr, to being dead to the world.

On the Couch With The Good Texture, Amethyst was also snoring away, like a chainsaw sawing logs. The screen was dark, Amethyst having had just enough mental coherence to switch it off before sleep took her.

In the corner, the heater hummed gently, filling the apartment with a comfy warmth against the November chill outside.

Lapis sighed, a small smile on her face. This was actually surprisingly nice. She pulled the red Chinese shirt draped over her shoulders closer around her. The soft fabric was comforting, and reminded her of her favorite person.

Stretching her arms above her, she yawned. She slid her sketchbook closed. It was late. She’d have plenty of time to design later, when she wasn’t in the grip of art block.

She had just clicked her easel lamp off, and was about to shuffle upstairs to the loft bedroom for a recharge nap…

…when her phone buzzed in her pocket. The repetitive hum-hummm of an incoming call. At one-freaking-thirty in the morning.

Lapis almost ignored it, it being too dang late for whatever whoever was calling about. But just in case…

Lapis slid her phone from her pocket. She paused as she saw the caller ID.

Ranma.

What’s happened? Splash Emergency? Did a cat get in? Did one of the humans from her old town find her?!

Lapis slid her thumb across the screen. “Ranma?!”

“…Hey, Lapis.” Ranma’s tired voice came over the phone. “Sorry, I know it’s late.”

“What happened? Is everything okay?”

Four floors below, Ranma pushed her long bangs out of her eyes. She dropped her shirt, soaked with her own flop sweat, to the soft carpet beneath her feet. Behind her, her sheets were just as cold and wet. She had awoken shivering, her shirt clinging to her back.

“Y-yeah… I just… bad dream, is all.”

“Do you want me to come down?”

Ranma paused. It was late, and she really needed to get some sleep before she had her session with Doc Sodalite in the morning, and she had to teach tomorrow’s class right after…

And yet…

“Actually, yeah, that’d be really good. If you don’t mind, I mean.”

“I’m on my way.” Lapis’s voice was firm and resolute. There was an odd sound in the background of the call, like wind blowing into the receiver.

Ranma nodded, still holding the phone to her ear. She slid the damp shirt off, plucking a new one from the laundry hamper next to the bed. Sliding it on as she sat back down on the mattress, she spoke into the phone. “How fast can you get here?”

The door to the apartment’s balcony slid open, allowing a cold breeze to blow in as Lapis stepped inside, her wings sliding back into her Gem. “This fast enough for ya?”

Despite the chill and the rude awakening, Ranma chuckled as she hung up her phone. “God, you’re so cool.”

Shivering, Lapis slid the door closed. She pulled Ranma’s old red shirt tightly around herself. “S-st-s-s-stars, I hate the cold. Can I get under that blanket with you?”

Ranma nodded. “Yeah, get in here, get warm. I mean, the sheets are wet, but-“

Lapis was already waving a hand as she pulled back the comforter. The accumulated sweat in the sheets condensed on the surface, before coalescing into a single, small blob of saltwater. The blob quickly floated itself toward Ranma’s bathroom, sliding through the slightly ajar crack in the door, before settling in the sink.

Ranma ran the back of her hand over the sheets. They were bone-dry. “Why are you so cool, Lapis?”

Shimmying under the covers, Lapis shrugged with a smile. “Just comes naturally.”

Smiling back, already feeling a little better, Ranma slid back under the covers, effortlessly fitting perfectly into Lapis’s waiting embrace.

For just a moment, the two sighed contently. Ranma’s arm was over Lapis’s midsection, holding her close. Lapis’s right hand was likewise holding Ranma close, a single finger gently tracing over the soft squish of Ranma’s warm, exposed tummy. Lapis’s other arm was extended before her, Ranma’s head resting on Lapis’s bicep.

“So,” Lapis murmured. “Bad night, huh?”

Ranma made a face. “Yeah. Sorry, I know it’s late.”

Lapis shook her head. “Nah, it’s cool. Do you want to talk about it?”

Ranma snickered. “It’s dumb.”

“It is not.”

A sigh from Ranma as she snuggled closer into Lapis’s embrace. “Did you know it’s been a year since I left Nerima?”

Lapis hummed. She had not. “That’s super awesome.”

One of Ranma’s cute smiles. “It is, isn’t it? But yeah, I got to thinking about that before I fell asleep. I guess that was the wrong thought to drift off on.”

“What happened?”

“I had a dream… ‘bout the last conversation I had with Akane. Before I left.”

Lapis winced sympathetically. “You’ve never told me about that one. Was it a blowout or something?”

Ranma shrugged as

-he watched Akane walk through the living room, in that rapidfire way she’d walk when she was angry, which was a lot these days. Not quite a stomp, not quite a normal step.

This was it. The plans had been made. Ucchan and Konatsu were standing by. The locations of Nabiki’s blackmail binder and cash stash, and Pops’ bank card, had all been confirmed. All that was left was the doing.

If he was going to get a sign that he should stay in Nerima, now was the time to get it.

“Uh… hey, ‘Kane.”

Akane grunted. Her eyes didn’t even twitch in Ranma’s direction.

“You, uh… you doing okay?”

“What do you care, Pervert.”

Ranma barely felt the familiar insult anymore. Akane’s barb, bait for yet another argument, simply slid off his heart.

Message received, universe.

He stood up, Akane’s back still to him.

“I guess I don’t.”

He could almost hear Akane smirk. “Finally, something we agree on. Praise be.”

Ranma didn’t feel anything. Ranma felt like there was an empty hole where his heart used to be. And that was just fine.

Not looking back at his ex-fiancée, Ranma headed for the hallway. Nabiki’s room was the first stop.

Ranma shifted gently, in her bed 6,000 miles and 365 days away from where and when she had started her journey. The sheets rustled against her legs. “Honestly, not really? That’s the thing, it was such a Nothing conversation. All those years, all that buildup, and it all just kinda… farted out at the end. I left maybe ten minutes later, and I never looked back.”

“Do you miss her?” There was no trace of judgement or jealousy in Lapis’s voice. Ranma loved her for that.

She shrugged. “Not really. I mean, I feel bad that we ended like that, but…”

“It’s complicated?” Lapis finished. Ranma nodded gently into Lapis’s shoulder, before turning her head upward to look her girlfriend in the eyes. “Lapis, I want you to know… there’s nowhere I’d rather be, and no one I’d rather be with.”

Lapis smiled tenderly back down at her. “Same, Ranma. Same.”

I love you, Lapis didn’t say, her Gem doing backflips.

I love you, Ranma didn’t say, her heart fluttering in her chest.

“Here’s to our Almosts, huh?” Ranma finished instead.

Lapis nodded. “To Peri, and to Akane. Without them, we wouldn’t be here.”

Ranma nodded, kissing Lapis on the lips. “Cheers, Blue.”

Lapis chuckled, blushing lightly. “You feeling better?”

Ranma sighed contently, snuggling her face even close into Lapis’s warm shoulder. “So much better.”

“Want to try and get some more sleep?”

Ranma Ha-Ha’d dryly. “Nah, I think I’m pretty awake now. Once I’m awake, I ain’t gettin’ back to sleep.”

“Hmmm.” Lapis pondered for a moment. “Wanna… call Peridot and Amethyst, have them come down and hang out?”

A pause, then Ranma smiled. “Y’know, I’d like that. Long as you guys aren’t tired of me yet.”

Lapis gently pecked Ranma on the tip of her nose. “Never.”

“So what do we want to do when they get down here?”

One Hour Later…

“For the Honor of Grayskull!”

Ranma watched, an eyebrow slowly curling upward as the familiar transformation sequence played out. Lapis leaned forward, a single finger slowly raising. “Annnnnd…”

Onscreen, the music reached a crescendo as She-Ra punched her palm, her gauntlets materializing around her wrists.

Lapis gently punched the air. “There it is. Never gets old.”

Ranma hummed thoughtfully. “Man, I really was repressed, wasn’t I. Between this and Sailor Moon, no wonder I like transformation sequences so much.”

Peridot leaned in from the side, an inquisitive finger raised. “Technically, Ranma, if you think about it, you do have your own magical girl transformation sequence.”

Ranma chuckled. “That’s true! Mine’s just water-activated and happens really, really fast.”

Peridot leaned toward the screen, stroking her chin softly. “Is it strange that I find Glimmer so attractive? She’s absolutely gorgeous, but I just can’t put my finger on why.”

Slowly turning her head, Ranma glanced from the short, fat, energetic purple girl onscreen to Peridot’s short, fat, energetic purple girlfriend lying next to her. Amethyst caught her eye and gave her a smile and a wink.

“Yerp.” Ranma drawled. “No idea.”

The four of them, all piled together onto Ranma’s bed, were tossed together into a massive cuddle-pile, legs and arms tossed every which way. Peridot was doing the kicky-legs thing behind her as she lay on her stomach. The soft pads of her boots click-clicked together rhythmically.

Amethyst chuckled, smooching a distracted Peridot on the side of her massive hair. “I feel like you’d be real good buds with Entrapta. You guys can bond over being robo-romantic.”

Peridot humph’d, placing a dramatic hand to her own chest. “I will not apologize for having an appreciation for a finely-made poly-alloy chassis.”

Laughing her warm, scratchy laugh, Amethyst turned her attention toward the redhead. “What about you, Ranma? Who’s your gay She-Ra crush?”

Lapis poked a mock-threatening finger at Ranma. “I’m throwing you off this building if you say Mermista.”

Ranma hummed, genuinely thinking the question over. Eventually, she sat up, looked over her fellow lesbians, and gave her response.

“Scorpia.”

A collection of sighs from all present.

“Yeah…” Peridot assented dreamily.

Amethyst nodded. “Gotta agree with that one.”

Lapis smiled gently at the thought. “I’d hold her claws tenderly…”

Peridot raised a quizzical finger. “And just to double-check, are you sure you’re okay with the onscreen presence of… You-Know-Who?”

After hesitating a moment, Ranma gave a small nod. “Y-yeah. C-c-Catra is human-y enough that I can deal with her.”

Lapis leaned forward, stroking her chin absently. “I swear I’ve heard Catra’s voice somewhere before. She sounds so freaking familiar.”

Amethyst snapped her finger as she remembered something. “Oh, hey, Ranma. Did you want to do anything to celebrate your leaving-Japan-a-versary?”

“Hmm. I really hadn’t thought about it.” Ranma leaned back, thinking. “Is there anything special goin’ on in town today?”

A grin from Amethyst as she flashed her phone screen toward Ranma. “Ever been to a rave?”

Ranma’s eyebrow cocked very high. “Nope, never had a chance.”

“Want to give it a try? My pal Vidalia, her son Sour Cream is a DJ, he’s doing a rave tomorrow night.” She waggled her phone teasingly. “Might be fuuu-uuuun.”

Ranma pursed her lips as she thought about it. “Eh, sure, why not? I’ll try anything once wait what the fuck did you just say his name was.” Ranma’s voice grew sharp as she pointed a single accusatory finger.

Lapis and Peridot shared eyerolls, as if to say Here we go…

Amethyst chuckled. “Sour Cream. That’s his name.”

“No. No. Fuck you. No. That is not his name.” Ranma’s voice was suddenly very, very strained.

Amethyst raised a single flat hand. “Quartz’s Honor. He’s Onion’s big brother, if that helps.”

Ranma deflated, defeated. “Of course he is. Why not.”

A chuckle from the purple Quartz. “Soooo…? Is that a yes?”

Ranma sighed dramatically. “If I must. It’s a yes.”

“Nice! I’ll double-check the details and get back to ya later today.”

Ranma pulled her legs up, bending her legs under her as she nodded. She wiggled slightly, enjoying the feel of her bedsheets around her. Next to her, Lapis draped an arm around her, pulling her close. Sighing with a smile, Ranma snuggled in closer to her girlfriend as Lapis planted a gentle kiss atop her head.

9:00 a.m.

Dr. Sodalite’s Office

The Barn

Dr. Sodalite readjusted her four arms, looking very mantis-like in her chair. “You’re looking very well, Ranma. You look happy.”

Ranma nodded vigorously, smiling widely. “I am! As of today, it’s been exactly one year since I left Nerima.”

“Congratulations! Are you doing anything special?”

“Lapis and I are going to a rave later tonight. Amethyst invited us.”

Dr. Sodalite nodded, glancing at her notes. “How has your transition been going?”

Ranma nodded. “Good, good. It’s not… exactly like I’ve read about? Like, I’ve read all these stories about people transitioning, being able to see their real self in the mirror and all that, but I don’t have that?” She motioned to herself. “I’m used to seeing this face in the mirror all the time anyway, and the only thing I’ve really changed is my clothes, and some makeup every now and then. But it still feels so different than how I used to. Is that weird?”

Doctor Sodalite shook her head with a smile. “Not at all! You spent all that time looking at your face through a different lens than you do now. Transitioning is about a state of mind and emotion, any physical changes are typically incidental to that. Have you learned anything from transitioning so far?”

Ranma chuckled loudly. “Ha! Well, I’ve learned that I’m definitely, definitely gay, and I live for it. I feel like I’m able to open up more than I used to? Like, I can actually talk to people these days without feeling like someone’s about to call me a pervert or try to attack me in the streets. I learned that I love dressing like this-“ Ranma motioned to her clothes, a long-sleeved shirt over a pair of overalls. Her hair was tied up in what was rapidly becoming a customary bandanna, and a small pair of golden hoops dangled from her ears. “And I’ve been learning about makeup! Amethyst has been teaching me how to draw eyeliner wingtips! And did you know that I don't like painting my nails? I didn't! I never even had the option to think about that before, but now I do, and I hate how they chip! But I love that I got to learn that!"

Dr. Sodalite beamed as Ranma’s hands waggled with excitement. She’s stimming, Dr. Sodalite marveled to herself. She’s stimming, and I don’t think she even realizes it.

“That’s excellent to hear, Ranma! So, no regrets about transitioning?”

Ranma stared her directly in the eyes with a radiant smile. “Not a one. Coming to Beach City was the best decision I ever made.”

“Not to open a wound, but I do want to ask. Do you feel like you wouldn’t have been able to transition in Nerima?”

Ranma paused, thinking it over. It was a legitimate question.

“Y’know, I honestly don’t know? Between all the fiancées and whatnot, I have no idea which ones would have been okay with it, and which ones wouldn’t. Akane would have pitched a fit. Ukyo would have definitely been cool with it. Who knows how Shampoo or Kodachi or any of the others would have taken it. Nerima was super traditional, but also super chaotic, so I can’t say how who would have taken what.” It was true. Ranma was certain that, if not for the five-month road trip between Nerima and Beach City, she would have likely died of culture shock.

Ranma shifted tacks, still thinking. “Pops would have had kittens. Ma, though… I feel like Ma would have supported me, but done it her way, all traditional-like. Tried to make me like Kasumi, the whole submissive housewife, Yamato Nadeshiko type. An’ honestly, that idea scares me more than what they already had planned for me.”

Dr. Sodalite’s gaze softened. “I’m sorry if I brought up anything painful, Ranma.”

Ranma blinked, before waving a hand. “Oh no, don’t worry! This is stuff I’ve been thinking about for a while.”

“And just as a welfare check, you haven’t heard from anyone back in Nerima?”

Ranma nodded, her eyes softening a bit. “Just Ucchan, and… not for a few months.” Catching Dr. Sodalite’s concerned look, Ranma hastily clarified. “That was part of the plan, though. We kept in touch with letters and stuff every now and then for my first few months, when I was on the road. The plan was, after I find a place to settle, radio silence for one year, just in case someone is intercepting his mail.”

A smile from Dr. Sodalite. “Ukyo seems like a good friend. I’m glad you have him in your life.”

Ranma smiled fondly. “Yeah… he really is pretty great…”

8:00 pm

Ranma’s Apartment

“GAH! AH-AH! SAMUI! KORUDO! COLD! OH MY GOD, THIS IS TERRIBLE!”

From her seated spot on the closed toilet, Lapis gave a sympathetic chuckle. “You okay in there, babe?”

Though the shower curtain was closed, Lapis could tell Ranma was shivering over the sound of running water. “I’m so cold… everything’s cold…”

Lapis slid her arm around the shower curtain, offering an open hand. “Just gotta ride out the first few minutes till you get used to it.”

She felt her girlfriend’s wet, trembling hand take hers. “E-easy for you to say, you can regulate your body temperature in any direction. My Soul Of Ice only does one temperature, I’ll give you three guesses which.”

Withdrawing her hand, Lapis smiled. “Just wait for it. Once you get out, it’s gonna feel warm by comparison. Cold showers’ll change your life.”

“I keep trying to shut my eyes out of habit. This is actually a lot easier.”

“Aren’t you glad you don’t have to fumble around for the soap?”

“Yes, Lapis. Hee haw, you win.” Ranma grumbled good-naturedly.

Crossing her legs and folding her arms, Lapis stared at the ceiling as she thought. “So, question. What do we want to wear to this rave thing?”

“Dunno. Never been to one. Don’t people usually wear, like, punky clothes? Short skirts and all that?”

“I think so?” Lapis cocked an eyebrow. “Steven says Sour Cream’s parties are basically just come-as-you-want. I just figured we’d either dress comfy or dress like Amethyst or something.”

“Hmmm.” The tone of Ranma’s hum indicated that she wasn’t fond of the idea. As she thought to herself, she dabbed some shampoo on a finger, carefully sliding it through her carefully interwoven braid. The delicate ritual of washing her hair without removing the dragon whisker and flooding the bathroom with hair was a tricky one, but one which Ranma was an experienced hand at.

Mentally sifting through her now-much-larger wardrobe, an image settled in the forefront of Ranma’s brain. There was the audible sound of a doorbell as a lightbulb turned on in her head.

“Hey, Lapis. I think I have an idea.”

From the other side of the curtain, slightly muffled by the running water: “Yeah? Whatcha got?”

Ranma’s familiarly cocky smile spread across her face. Even though she couldn’t be seen, she struck a confident pose as the water rinsed her hair out. “Fellas, is it gay to show up to a rave with your girlfriend, the two of you super overdressed as formal as you can?”

A pause from Lapis as she thought it over, eyes wide, followed by a smirk of her own. “Ranma Saotome, that sounds like a downright lesbian power move!”

“I know, right? You in?”

Lapis stood, a triumphant fist pumped before her. “I could not be more in.”

“Awesome!” Ranma chirped. The dull roar of running water slowly petered out into silence as the shower knob was turned off. “I’m gonna go ahead and come out.”

“Gotcha.” Lapis averted her eyes, facing the opposite wall and the door as the shower curtain slid open with a chorus of clicks.

For several seconds, there was only the sound of dripping water, and Ranma’s low breathing.

Still not looking, Lapis paused. “Everything okay?”

“…Lapis…” Ranma’s voice was slow, unsure. Her voice cracked as she spoke again. “You can… uh… you can… look… i-if you want to…”

Lapis felt her face flush a deep blue. She felt her hands shake at her sides.

Wait, why? She doesn’t have anything I haven’t seen before. Why am so I nervous all of a sudden?

The answer, of course, was obvious.

Comfort.

Intimacy.

Trust.

“Ah... a-are you sure, Ranma?” Lapis stammered.

“Y-y-yeah. Go ahead. It’s… it’s mine. And I’m okay with that. I’m okay with… with you, and I’m okay with us. If-if-if you’re comfortable with it, I mean.” Ranma’s voice was so soft, and so fragile.

Fully aware of the power her girlfriend had placed in her hands in that moment, Lapis Lazuli slowly turned to face the shower.

There she stood. Her hair still tied in its braid, though very damp. Her eyes locked somewhere on the lower part of the wall behind Lapis, unable to meet her eyes. Her muscular arms, built and powerful. Her breasts, fully visible. Below them, she clutched her left elbow with her right hand. A small, but noticeable, and adorable squish to her stomach. Water dripped from her, a slight tremor in her legs. A small patch of red hair in her midsection.

She was the most beautiful sight Lapis had ever seen.

Inside her head, Ranma felt as if she were balancing on a rickety beam. Even a year removed, Akane’s favorite insult still made its presence known in Ranma’s head, as it always did when she was nude. No matter the form, no matter the reason, you could count on that word, that accusation, being shouted from Akane’s mouth.

Ranma could feel the trembles begin to migrate to her arms. She could feel still-cold water droplets dripping onto her feet. “S-s-so… this is… this is me. I… I just wanted… to…”

Lapis stepped forward, slowly, her bare feet tapping gently on the bathroom tile. Despite herself, Ranma found herself flinching.

This is it. If it’s gonna happen, this is where it happens. Here it comes…

A pair of blue hands, moving so slowly, so gently, reached their way upwards, gently cupping Ranma’s face. Lapis’s hands were warm against Ranma’s cheeks. Ranma’s eyes slowly tracked upwards, meeting Lapis’s matching blue eyes, which were soft, and filled with such warmth.

Lapis smiled, the kindest smile Ranma had ever seen in her entire life. “You’re so beautiful, Ranma. Don’t ever let anyone tell you different.” Lapis closed her eyes, and kissed her softly, chastely on the lips.

Ranma felt her eyes grow hot and wet as her heart leapt in her chest. Laughing loudly, and wetly, she lunged forward, wrapping her arms around her girlfriend, hugging her tightly. Lapis hugged her back just as tightly, neither minding the water.

Lapis smiled at her laughter, despite herself. “You okay, Ranma?”

Ranma’s hands migrated up to Lapis’s shoulders, still laughing as she cried fat, happy tears into Lapis’s crop top. A heavy weight, one she hadn’t even known she had been carrying, vanished from her shoulders. “I knew it!! I knew I could trust you!!!”

Lapis could swear she could feel her non-existent heart leap in her chest as Ranma shouted those words. She felt her own eyes fill with happy tears as Ranma’s head shot upward, peppering Lapis’s face with kisses, on her mouth, on her cheeks, on her upturned nose, on her forehead.

Laughing, Lapis kissed back as best as she could against the onslaught, until the two of them were left clutching each other, laughing joyously in the bathroom.

Smiling, Lapis flicked her hands down Ranma’s shoulders. The remaining water still clinging to Ranma’s skin leapt from her body, splattering against the walls of the shower with an assortment of loud taps. As Ranma wiped her eyes with the heel of her hand, still chuckling, Lapis grabbed a towel from the rack, gently wrapping it around Ranma’s shoulders.

“You deserved better than you got,” Lapis sang.

“Someone’s gotta say it sometime because it’s true.”

Lapis offered a gentlemanly hand out. Ranma, her cheeks still red, accepted it with her own, lightly stepping up and over the edge of the bathtub. Feeling like she was flying, Lapis gently led Ranma into her bedroom, a spring in her step as Lapis continued her song.

“Someone should have told you you were awesome

Instead of taking advantage of you.

I hope you love your life now, like I love mine.

I hope the painful memories only flex their power over you a little of the time.”

Knowing exactly what piece of clothing Ranma had been thinking of for their night out, Lapis spun to Ranma’s closet, plucking out a hanger holding the black-and-gold cheongsam that Stevonnie had bought for her. Grinning toothily, Ranma took the dress from Lapis’s grasp, her eyes filled with happiness.

“We held onto hope of better days coming,

And when we did, we were right.”

With a smile and a flicker of light, Lapis’s form lit up, coming back into focus in a truly dapper getup- light blue dress pants, a black button-up with the sleeves rolled to the elbows, under a dark blue waistcoat with shiny, matching shoes. She thrust her hands confidently into her pockets as Ranma stared, eyes wide.

“And I hope the people who did you wrong

Have trouble sleeping at night.”

Lapis stepped forward, looking deeply into Ranma’s eyes as her song finished. Ranma’s eyes, still wide and joyful, pierced into her soul, filling her with a warmth that had seemed impossible up into just a few months ago.

“Lapis… thank you. You, and Steven, and Connie, and everyone else… you’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”

Lapis’s smile widened, as she leaned in close. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, Ranma. Don’t you ever forget it.”

Staring into each other’s eyes, the two of them had the same thought as earlier that morning.

I love you, Ranma didn’t say, her heart feeling fuller than it ever had.

I love you, Lapis didn’t say, knowing in her heart that she’d tear the stars from the sky if Ranma asked.

Both of them knew it.

Neither of them said it.

It wasn’t fear. It wasn’t dread.

It was anticipation. Like a rich dessert at the end of a hearty meal. Like a period at the end of a long, beautiful sentence.

The time for those words was coming soon.

They both knew it.

Only a few minutes later, Ranma was tucked in Lapis’s arms, the lights of Little Homeworld growing smaller and smaller below them as Lapis soared skyward.

Ranma stared, wide-eyed. Though she had gone flying with Lapis more than a few times since their first date in August, the sight of the town from the air never ceased to amaze Ranma.

Lapis’s strong, delightfully buff arms around her certainly didn’t raise any objections either.

Beach City. This town. Her town. Her home. She still could barely wrap her head around the idea. This wonderful, wonderful town by the sea was her home now, with her own apartment and a dojo and students and friends and…

She glanced to the side, at Lapis’s smiling face.

…and a girlfriend.

Someone she loved.

The thick formal jacket she wore over the cheongsam fluffed around her cheeks as she snuggled closer to Lapis’s warm form. Lapis, clad in a coat of her own over her shifted suit, nuzzled their cheeks together as she began to descend.

The old warehouse that served as Beach City’s event space/wrestling arena/emergency shelter was lit brightly with many-colored lights. Music, slightly muffled by the walls, could be heard from within, a deep, rocking bassline.

Lapis’s shoes tapped gently on the concrete as she made contact with the ground. Beaming, Ranma gave Lapis an enormous smooch on the cheek before she hopped from Lapis’s grasp, her flats landing silently.

The two stood there in the old parking lot, looking up at the warehouse. Dead weeds poked through cracked asphalt. The deep thrum of electronic music and the chirp of chiptunes, the distant roar of the ocean just audible over it. A small group of people in front of the entrance, taking a break, enjoying the cold night air blowing from off the Atlantic.

Lapis glanced over at Ranma, whose expression was a strange mix of hopeful and apprehensive. Her hoop earrings dangled against her jawline. A carefully-drawn wingtip next to one eye.

She was so gorgeous.

“Y’okay, Ranma? Nervous?”

Ranma nodded softly, chuckling. “Now’s probably a bad time to tell you I can’t dance, huh?”

Lapis smiled, snaking an arm around the small of Ranma’s back, drawing her close. “Sure you can. Someone just told you that you couldn’t.”

Laughing, Ranma leaned her head against Lapis’s shoulder, red hair against blue skin. “Why do you always know just what to say?”

Whatever Lapis was about to say was cut off by a loud, obnoxious wolf whistle from nearby.

To the left, in an eye-gouging yellow sport car, a college-aged young man sat, somehow managing to make a scarf seem pretentious in winter. He leered at them through lidded eyes, trying to seem aloof but just looking foolish.

Lapis and Ranma stared blankly. “Can I help you?” Ranma snarked.

The fool scoffed, leaning back in his chair. “Maybe, baby. Maybe I can help you. Show you the night of your life?”

Lapis and Ranma’s eyebrows twitched in sync at the unwelcomed pass. Ranma leaned in toward her girlfriend. “Who even is this guy?” She muttered.

“Not a dang clue.” Lapis growled, staring the creep down.

The creep, in an impressive and heretofore unseen level of suicidal idiocy, pressed on, unaware of the speckled frost that was beginning to sprout along the edges of his windshield. “Name’s Kevin. And yes, this is my car. So, what’s your name, Baby?”

Fists clenched, Lapis began to take a threatening step forward, only to be stopped by the back of Ranma’s hand lightly tapping her chest. Her mouth pursed in a tight, deadly smile, Ranma shucked off her jacket, handing it to Lapis. “Hold this for a sec.” Turning her attention to Kevin, a still-smirking Ranma cracked her knuckles, before rotating her head in a circle as she cracked her neck.

“Kachū Tenshin Amaguriken.”

Kevin blinked, and in the microsecond it took for his eyes to close and open again, the redhead had crossed the fifteen feet from her original spot to the hood of his car. The car began to shake violently as she hammered the front with her fists. He clenched the steering wheel in terror as he endured what felt like an earthquake. She seemingly only punched the car’s hood a dozen or so times, yet the hood was peppered in countless tiny dents, as if she had taken a hammer to it over several hours.

Ranma hiked her left leg high and vertical above her head, her heel pointing straight upward, like the hammer of an angry god, ready to crash down. Kevin stared, wide-eyed and filled with terror, unable to comprehend what he was seeing.

Ranma grinned maliciously. It was that moment of dawning comprehension that she lived for.

“PROPERTY DESTRUCTION-KICK!”

Her foot came down in axe kick like a meteorite on Kevin’s car hood, caving in the battered front of the car like wet paper. The once-expensive sports car crumpled under the impact, the back wheels rising off the ground. With the car in the shape of a very sloppy L, Ranma knelt down and grabbed the front bumper.

She glanced over her shoulder. Lapis was staring with enormous, plate-sized eyes in an almost religious awe. Ranma gave her a wink, and a smile.

Ranma lifted the car as she stood straight up, the ton-and-a-half of twisted metal seeming to weigh nothing in her hands. She tossed it lightly into the air, and fell backward onto her back, catching the falling car lightly on one foot. She began to kick the shambled car in a lengthwise circle, as if she were playing with a hackysack instead of a wreck bound for the junkyard. Inside, she could hear Kevin’s screams of terror as he and his car spun round and round, pieces of loose metal flying in each direction.

“Donguri korokoro donburiko!
Oike ni hamate saa taihen!
Dojou ga detekite konnichiwa!
Bocchan isshoni asobimashou!”

CLANK-CLUNK-CLANK-CLUNK-CLANK-CLUNK-CLANK-CLUNK

Big Finish! Ranma thought to herself, smiling wickedly.

With a final mighty kick upward, Ranma bounced herself back to a standing position with her fingertips, landing almost daintily as the wrecked car hung overhead.

In the car, all Kevin could see was the night sky beyond his steering wheel. A terror that he had never known gripped his heart.

As the car fell towards her, Ranma caught the back bumper, and proceeded to piledrive the back of the car into the pavement. The totaled, misshapen wreck balanced on its back for just a moment, before falling forward into a parking spot, landing neatly on its wrecked wheels between a pair of untouched cars.

Across the parking lot, the group of partygoers cheered and clapped, having seen the entire affair play out.

As the sound of twisted metal and broken glass settling jingled in the night air, Ranma counted down on her fingers. “Three, two, one…”

The driver’s side door fell off loudly, and Kevin almost melted out of the car and onto the ground. He was physically untouched. He lay there on the asphalt, dazed, moaning in witless terror as he stared up at the sky, having done in his pants what the nanny his parents had hired when he was very small had very patiently taught him not to do many years ago. Inside the car, the airbag suddenly discharged with a pathetic squeak.

With a satisfied smile, Ranma dusted the parking lot grit from her cheongsam, before sauntering back toward her date with a noticeable sashay in her step.

Lapis stood there, her jaw quite dropped, a tiny trickle of drool coming from the side of her mouth. Ranma smirked. So that’s what that looks like.

With a half-lidded look, Ranma gently brushed up against Lapis’s side. “Shall we?”

Lapis, still staring wide-eyed, raised a single hand and wiped the drool from her jaw with her knuckles. “Ranma. You. Are. So. Cool.”

Ranma smiled, and rose upward to catch Lapis’s lips in a long, hard kiss. Lapis’s could almost feel her insides doing backflips.

Breaking the kiss, Ranma gave Lapis a wink. “C’mon. We’ve got an entrance to make.”

“I think you just did.”

Ranma’s hand trailed down Lapis’s arm to her hand, gently grasping it as she led her toward the entrance to the warehouse, Lapis unable to take her eyes off the most amazing woman she had ever met.

As they approached, Ranma gave a confident smile to the assembled partygoers. “’Scuse us, folks.”

A punky-looking individual by the door with an enormous mohawk gave Ranma a huge grin and a thumbs-up as they pushed the double-doors open.

The warehouse was absolutely packed with people and Gems, of every shape, size, cut, facet, orientation, subculture, and everywhere in between. DJ Sour Cream had made quite the name for himself over the past few years, and his raves had become the stuff of local legend. On the wall high above the stage, a gargantuan progress pride flag the size of a car was hung, which was the most welcoming, wonderful sight some of the attendees had ever seen.

On stage, Sour Cream himself bobbed to the music, occasionally flashing a finger-sign to the crowd before the hand joined his other at his DJ panel, effortlessly mixing and remixing on the fly.

As Ranma and Lapis looked over the festivities, a scratchy voice sounded from behind them.

“Scuse me!”

Moving aside, Ranma glanced down to see a very short and squat red Gem, who looked for all the world like a red-dyed version of Amethyst, sidle past in a pair of sunglasses and a well-fitted tuxedo. An instrument case almost as big as her hung from one hand.

Ranma cocked an eyebrow. “What, does Sour Cream have a live band too?”

“Lapis! Ranma!” A familiar voice called.

Lapis squealed with delight as the ever-barefoot Stevonnie practically spun into view, clutching their own elbows in a tight hug. They had come to the rave in what had to be the tackiest floral jacket Ranma had ever seen, yet somehow managed to make it look amazing nonetheless.

Lapis almost immediately glomped onto them, smiling ear-to-ear. Ranma waved hello. “Hiya, Stevonnie! I didn’t know you were gonna be here!”

Stevonnie nodded as they sat Lapis down on her feet. “Yeah, this always happens when Connie and Steven go dancing. Like, without fail. I’m not complaining, though! Good to see you guys here. Looking spiffy!”

Ranma blushed softly, tugging at the neck of her cheongsam. “Thank you so much for buying me this, Stevonnie. It feels amazing.”

Stevonnie smiled. “No prob! You look super pretty!”

Lapis nodded energetically. “Doesn’t she though?!!?”

As Ranma blushed even further, Peridot fell from the ceiling, catching herself on Stevonnie’s muscular shoulders. “LAPIS! RANMA! YOU GUYS MADE IT!” She screeched, extending a pair of fists toward the two.

Lapis and Ranma met her fists in a double-fist-bump. “Yo, Peri!” Ranma said. “Where’s Amethyst?”

Peridot smiled enormously, pointing up toward the stage. Just in front, Amethyst danced energetically to the beat, clearly in her element. She flung her head back and forth and bounced from one booted foot to the other, stimming like her life depended on it, her long hair flickering around her like a cape.

Peridot sighed dreamily, drinking the sight in. Ranma could practically see a string of hearts fluttering upward from her Gem.

In the midst of all of this, the short Red Gem from earlier walked confidently toward the crowd at the edge of the stage. She knelt down, opened the instrument case, and pulled out a saxophone, brass polished and gleaming. A cheer went up from the crowd as she laced the shoulder strap around her, and strode toward the stage.

Lapis crinkled her brow, confused. “Who brought a saxophone into the club?”

Stevonnie whirled around, gasping with delight. “Is Carnelian here?!”

A loud, deep, rich saxophone note echoed above the music as the crowd parted, revealing Carnelian just in front of the stage. She and Sour Cream each pointed at each other with a dramatic nod.

With a flicker of fingers, Sour Cream quickly composed and unleashed a synthesized melody, seamlessly integrating it with the current song.

Grinning, Amethyst slapped Carnelian on the back, who pressed the mouthpiece to her lips. Carnelian flawlessly replicated the same melody back to Sour Cream, bobbing along with the music. The crowd went wild as Sour Cream produced another melody, and the call-and-response musical duel continued.

Ranma shook her head in amazement, smiling. “Sax player versus DJ. I love this town.”

Stevonnie nodded as Peridot hopped down. “Yeah, Carnelian fell in love with that thing when she arrived on Earth. She’s pitched in on Sadie’s shows with Shep, and with the Suspects.”

Lapis narrowed her eyes, staring into the throng of dancers. “Is that Spinel? What the eff is she doing?”

Amongst the dancers, Spinel swung her arms from side to side like the pendulum of a clock, stiffly stepping forward and back. She wore a beaded flapper skirt with a matching feathered headband, a delightfully mismatched look and dance to the electronic beat.

Stevonnie smiled. “I’m pretty sure that’s the Charleston.” Laughing to themself, Stevonnie swung themself back into the mismatched crowd of dancers, losing themself to the beat.

Ranma felt her pulse quicken as she and Lapis stepped from the sidelines into the actual thick of the dancers. She imagined she could feel the grit of the concrete floor through her flats. Her hands tightened around the crook of Lapis’s elbow.

With a gentle smile, Lapis gently shifted her hands to meet Ranma’s own. “You’re gonna be okay, Ranma. Just let your body move however it wants to.”

Uneasily beginning to shimmy her shoulders to the right and left, Ranma nodded. “Just let it happen. Gotcha. Hoh boy…”

The music blasting through the speakers began to intensify, slowing climbing. Lapis squeezed her hands. “Hey. We can leave if you want. Don’t feel like you have to on my account.”

Ranma opened her squeezed-shut eyes, about to say Yes, we need to leave, this was a mistake, I’m sorry Lapis…

When Lapis’s eyes caught hers.

Lapis Lazuli’s eyes. Her beautiful, beautiful eyes.

The whole world fell away as Ranma became lost in those eyes.

One of the many, so many shades of beautiful blue that made up Ranma’s favorite person. Mixed among the aquamarine of her skin and the azure of her hair, were her eyes. The bluest blue, as blue as spring rain, as deep as the ocean she walked so easily. Ranma noticed, for the first time, the tiny flecks of gold scattered amongst her irises and pupils, pupils that Ranma realized she could see her own reflection in.

Lapis Lazuli.

Ranma felt something new, something warm, surge upward in her chest. Somewhere in the middle of it were the words she had been telling herself so often for the past few months.

Be. Brave.

Lapis blinked in surprise as Ranma’s face almost visibly brightened. A sudden, complete turn-around from the dancing trepidation she had been feeling, a reemergence of the confidence Ranma had displayed in the parking lot.

Ranma smiled, that beautiful, breathtaking smile that stole Lapis’s heart every time. “Actually, Lapis, there is one thing we need to do.”

Lapis blinked, feeling her breathing quicken unconsciously. “Y-yeah? What’s that, Ranma?” She softly gasped out.

Ranma seized her hand tightly, her other wrapped around her to lay flat against the small of Lapis’s back. As the music reached it’s crescendo, she roared in the silence before the beat dropped:

“YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO LET THE LADY LEAD!”

She swung Lapis around, both their arms wide, fingers interlaced. As the beat dropped, a long-dead spotlight above them loudly slammed On of its own volition, bathing the two in a white, hot beam of light.

The dancers in the crowd split as the two, lost in the moment, moved their way around the cleared spot in the center of the dance floor. Overtaken by a feeling she had rarely felt before, a feeling that happened increasingly often in this impossibly musical town, Ranma moved with and around Lapis in a dance that no one would ever believe had never even been rehearsed before. It was a strange mix of classical, ballroom, and modern rave dancing that no one who talked about it later could possibly describe.

Stevonnie, eyes wide, barely noticed themselves unfusing back into an equally awestruck Connie and Steven, their hands clutching softly at their sides. Amethyst’s head poked over Peridot’s shoulder, the two unable to take their eyes off the display.

The impossibly loud bass thrummed the floor underneath them as Ranma and Lapis slid past each other and separated, their backs barely grazing.

On one end of the spotlight, Ranma swept past Sadie and Shep, who were cheering loudly, almost audible over the song. Sadie looked as if she might turn herself inside out from excitement, her ponytail bouncing behind her. Next to them, Angel Aura Quartz extended a single clawed hand out flat, which Ranma happily smacked with her own as she passed.

On the other end, Lapis twirled past Peridot, who was cheering them both on with everything she had, atop the shoulders of a grinning Amethyst, who was struggling to keep her balance. Lapis seamlessly wrapped Steven in a quick, tight hug, and bumped a fist with Connie, all without breaking the spin.

Carnelian’s saxophone soared as Ranma and Lapis charged back toward each other in the center of the spotlight. Ducking down, her back flat toward the ceiling, Lapis power-slid to her knees as Ranma flipped to the side, their backs again bouncing off each other as Ranma landed on her feet, the impact sending tiny particles of grit and dust into the air, almost in slow motion. Around the room, small trickles of liquid began to rise into the air from cups and bottles, snaking through the air before splashing back down into their receptacles.

Ranma panted heavily as the two danced. Their feet slammed the floor aggressively, in sync with Ranma’s beating heart. She felt sweat trickle down her forehead as a giddy smile crawled across her face.

With a mischievous grin and the tiniest flashes of light along the front of her torso, Lapis dematerialized the buttons on the waistcoat Appearance Modifier she had shifted back at Ranma’s apartment. In a single motion, she whipped the vest off, flinging it blindly into the crowd.

They both felt amazing. It was almost primal, the way they surrendered to the music, allowed it to overtake them.

Sour Cream’s fingers whipped and flickered along buttons and keyboards, flashes and beeps and boops all coalescing into an auditory hurricane. Carnelian sounded like she was trying to force her very Gem through the saxophone, which honked and roared like it had a soul of its own.

The blue and red blurs of movement reached each other one final time. As the song ended with a dramatic, final THRUM, Lapis spun Ranma into a deep, deep dip.

The gathered crowd exploded in applause as the two stared at each other, sweaty and panting for air.

Lapis couldn’t make the grin leave her face. She could have fused with Ranma, right now, and not cared one bit.

Ranma stared up at her partner, the stars in her eyes matching Lapis’s own.

“Lapis,” Ranma whispered. “Everyone is looking at us.”

Lapis chuckled, her signature giggle-snort. “Really? I hadn’t noticed.”

1:00 a.m.

The rave was over.

Ravers and other attendees filed out the doors of the warehouse and into the parking lot. Sour Cream began to carefully disassemble his equipment, beginning the long process of disconnecting wires and packing tech into boxes.

On the edge of the cliff, overlooking the ocean, a familiar redhead and bluenette sat, their feet dangling off the edge.

Ranma sighed contently, leaning against Lapis’s shoulder. Her bare feet, aching from hours of dancing, hung in the cold air, her naked heels gently grazing the rough rock face. Her flats lay on the ground next to her. Her jacket was wrapped around her shoulders.

Lapis hummed softly as she nuzzled Ranma’s hair. Her waistcoat lay in her lap, having not yet been dispelled. She realized absently that she had never been this happy in her life.

Between the two, atop Lapis’s thigh, their hands were tightly interlaced, hanging onto each other as if they may truly never be able to let go.

“This was fun.” Ranma stated simply.

Lapis nodded into her hair. “Yep.”

Behind them, the tiny, overstuffed parking lot began to empty out, save for a single crushed pile of metal and a still-nigh-comatose creep lying on the ground next to it.

Soon, there was only the sound of the ocean and their own slow breaths. The near-silence after the deafening thrum of bass beats and electronic notes for so many hours was strangely comforting.

“Ranma?”

“Yeah?”

“I have something to tell you.”

“Me too.”

“I think I know what it is.”

“So do I.”

Ranma, brain awash in a sea of serotonin and warm fuzzies, turned to look Lapis deep in her beautiful blue eyes.

“Lapis… I think I’ve fallen in love with you. Very, very hard.”

Beaming through tired eyes, Lapis’s hands traced upward, cupping Ranma’s cheeks. “I think I have, too.”

Ranma nodded. “Cool.” She whispered.

She leaned forward, and the two kissed there, on the edge of the cliff, softer and deeper than they ever had before.

Lapis smiled as she broke the kiss. “What happened to Never Falling In Love Again?”

Chuckling quietly, Ranma shrugged and pulled Lapis close again. “What can I say? You really know how to wear a girl down…”

The two leaned in again, kissing once again. Ranma could feel thin, joyful tears prickle at the edges of her eyes, only for them to lightly float away into the breeze, Lapis’s powers gently catching them, enveloping them in her love, and sending a new, wonderful creation into the world.

Chapter Text

November 30th

Empire City

In recent years, Empire City had undergone a massive retooling of its housing and rent systems. Rent had been slashed, landlords defunded. Apartments that sat empty year-round had been opened at rock-bottom prices. Massive office buildings for bankrupt, money-hemorrhaging companies had been converted into even more affordable public housing.

Now, what was once one of the most prohibitively expensive places in the country to live in had made a jaw-dropping turnaround to become one of the most affordable. Empire City, the city where what happens never sleeps, had started to become a melting pot of people and culture again.

Near the center of the city, incidentally not too far from a certain ritzy hotel where one Steven Universe had stayed a single night in the penthouse suite several years ago, one particular housing building stood. Tall and wide, it was visually unremarkable except for two recent, very visible additions.

On one side of the building, a positively enormous yellow arm, several stories long, was parked, its “shoulder” not quite halfway down the building. On the other side, another arm, this one blue, mirroring its counterpart. Between the two, it gave the appearance that the building was flexing, the better to impress the building across from it.

The windows on the top floor flashed brightly with the arrival on an incoming Warp.

Inside, the glow receded to reveal the two passengers of the Warp. Spinel squealed with excitement as she leapt off the Warp Pad in the center of the high-ceilinged living room. Steven gazed around, wide-eyed, at the new home of two of Homeworld’s former monarchs.

It was as an interior decorator had gotten profoundly drunk and forcibly combined classic Homeworld architecture with a hollowed-out former penthouse apartment. The sharp angles and circuitry-aesthetic of Homeworld gave way to faux-wood linoleum flooring. Gigantic furniture, both Gem and custom-made Human, was crammed anywhere it would fit. The ceiling had been expanded upward, the telltale signs of recent construction still visible if you looked.

At her desk in front of the enormous bay windows, the newly much-more-compact Yellow Diamond rose with delight. “Spinel! Steven! How lovely to see you two!”

“YELLA! I MISSED YOU!” Spinel sprung over the desk, wrapping her arms around Yellow’s neck and shoulders in a tight, tremendous hug. This was made much easier by how much Yellow and Blue had willingly shifted their forms to be shorter these days.

They were still incredibly tall by human standards, around 9 feet each. Some things never changed.

Still holding Spinel in the crook of one arm, a smiling Yellow knelt down to hug Steven with the other arm. Steven hugged the former space empress back as best as he could. “Hey, Yellow. Sorry to drop in on you guys.”

Yellow shook her head as she stood. “No worries, Steven. You know you’re welcome here anytime.”

Steven glanced around at the heavily modified apartment. “Glad to see you guys have been settling in! Do you like Empire City?”

Yellow laughed richly as she set Spinel down. “Oh, it’s so delightful, Steven! The people, the sights, I can’t believe we’ve been missing this for so long to squat in that dark, dreary palace.”

Spinel giggled as she squeaked from one shoe to the other. “You and Blue gotta show me around later. I wanna see everything!”

Chuckling at Spinel and her lust for life, Steven glanced around again. “Hey, where is Blue?”

As if on cue, a door on the far wall silently slid open, releasing an enormous cloud of blue smoke into the living room. Steven rolled his eyes good-naturedly. Of course.

Out of the fog, Blue Diamond gracefully drifted out, eyes lidded and relaxed. “Do I hear the wonderful sounds of my two favorite tiniest Gems?”

With another loud squeal of joy, Spinel positively skipped across the room, wrapping around her other favorite Diamond with a tight hug. “BLUE! I ALSO MISSED YOU!”

Laughing with delight, Blue spun around, hugging Spinel just as tightly. “Oh, Spinel! I’ve missed your exuberance so!”

From behind Blue, a new voice, hazy and unfamiliar: “Hey, Blooie? Everything okay?”

Steven craned around Blue to look inside the room she had entered from. Inside, a group of about a dozen humans lounged and reclined on massive cushions, surrounding one enormous bean bag chair the size of a couch in the center of the room. All of them had a decidedly goth-witchy vibe to their appearance, along with a veritable galaxy of more pride flag patches, pins, and decals than Steven could count.

The one nearest the entrance, a chubby black gal who wore a trans pride bandanna wrapped around her head, flashed Steven a peace sign and a one of the friendliest smiles he’d ever seen. She relaxed, looking impossibly comfy, on a bright red bean bag chair. A large pair of boots had been kicked off on the floor nearby. A half-smoked blunt was pinched between two fingers; another, unlit, was tucked behind one ear. “Blessed Be. I’m Honey, she/her.”

Steven waved back, matching her smile. “Hiya! I’m Steven, he/him.”

Blue chuckled. “My apologies.” She called into the room. “Everyone, this is Steven! Steven, this is everyone!”

There was an assortment of friendly waves and Hellos from within the smoky room. Honey leaned forward, grinning. “You’re Steven! Oh man, Blooie has told us so much about you. Good to meetcha.” She pointed at the blunt in her hand. “You want some a’ this?”

Steven shook his head, still smiling politely. “None for me, thanks.”

Honey shrugged. “That’s cool.”

Blue leaned back into the room. “Darlings, Steven’s here to visit with Yellow and I, so I’ll be out here with them for a while if you need anything.”

Honey nodded. “Gotcha. I’ll keep these jokers in line. Have fun! Good meetin’ ya, Steven!”

There was another chorus of laughs and goodbyes as Blue slid the door shut.

Steven planted his hands on his hips, giving Blue a mock-scolding glare and a smirk. “Blue, was that a coven, a cult, a ‘cule, or a commune?”

Blue laughed lightly. “Yes, I think, would be the correct answer to that one! Turns out my emotion fog has been quite a hit with some of the local earthers. Honey and the others come by a few times a week to relax with me. They’ve helped me learn so much about the people of this wonderful planet!”

Yellow clicked her tongue with mild disapproval. “I do wish you wouldn’t encourage them, Blue. The point of us shifting this small was to discourage worship, remember?”

Blue sighed with a shrug. “Apparently a lot of humans on this planet relish the opportunity to be around giant women.”

Chuckling, Steven pulled up one of the few human-sized chairs in the apartment, sitting facing the back, his arms folded on the top of the backrest. “I’m really glad you guys are liking Earth so far. Any word from Homeworld?”

Yellow sighed dramatically as she slumped back into her chair. “Far more than I’d like, unfortunately. I’ve been receiving at least half a dozen calls a day from-“

A device on the top of Yellow’s desk began to ring, a hologrammatic screen projecting upward. Yellow glanced at the Gemlish text, and sighed again, before aggressively prodding the answer button. “Hello.” She snarked, deadpan, a shade of the old Yellow Diamond shining through her tone.

The projection shifted to an extremely close view of Co-President of Homeworld Yellow Zircon, looking frazzled and panicked. “My Radiance! My Elegance! My Infallible Diamond-“

Steven, Blue, and Spinel simultaneously winced as Yellow pinched the bridge of her nose irritatedly. “Madame Co-President, for the hundredth time today, I’m not your Diamond anymore.”

“Deepest apologies, My Illustriousness! But it’s really serious this time!”

Yellow slumped into her chair, looking more and more irritated by the second. “Oh, really. What’s the problem this time?”

Yellow Zircon swallowed heavily before continuing, her monocle slowly sliding askew. “It’s horrible! Co-President Blue and I have been doing so well, Homeworld’s Gems are sending us... Thank You Notes! Dozens of them!”

Yellow quirked a single deadly eyebrow. “How dreadful.”

“I knew you’d understand, my Unbreakable-ness! I’m a leader, not a letter-writer! Their expectations are too high! You need to come back and retake your rightful throne-“

“No.”

“B-b-b-but Homeworld is running too smoothly! I don’t understand how Co-President Blue is taking it so well! Please, My Radiance-“

Yellow looked as if she were about to pound the top of her desk, only to stop and deliberately put her hand down gently. “Madame Co-President, you’re doing fine. You need to stop worrying. At the very least, stop calling me. I do have a life outside of these phone calls, you know.” Yellow looked over her shoulder. “Blue, how many times has Co-President Blue Zircon called you for advice?”

Blue smiled as she held up a single finger. “Just the once, and that was because her monocle was on the fritz again and she couldn’t find the number for the Peridot IT Help Desk.”

Yellow Zircon looked as if she were about to cry. “But they LOVE me! And I HATE IT!”

Yellow’s finger hovered over the End Call button. “I’m hanging up now, Madame Co-President. If you call this number again for any reason that isn’t an apocalypse-level cataclysm, I’m blocking your number.”

“PLEASE, OH BLOATED ONE-“ Yellow Zircon wailed before the call ended with a muted hum.

Yellow grumbled as she pinched the bridge of her nose. “And it’s gone on and on like that. The ruler of a planet is supposed to have more decorum than this.”

Blue silently moved across the room toward the desk. She stood behind Yellow’s chair, placed her hands on Yellow’s shoulders, and began to rub them, humming softly as she massaged her wife’s shoulders. Yellow smiled, leaning her head back against Blue.

Spinel sidled up to Steven, gently elbowing him in the side. She motioned with her head toward the two Diamonds, her long pigtails flapping gently. “Ain’t they just the cutest?”

Steven chuckled. “Anyhoo, sorry to bring the mood back down, but I did have something to ask you guys, outside of just visiting.”

Blue smiled in his direction. “Of course, dear. How can we help?”

Steven slid his phone out of his jacket pocket. As he opened the Videos section of the Gallery, he continued. “What do you guys know about Curses?”

Yellow chuckled, amused. “Curses? Haven’t heard that word in a few eons.” She glanced up at her wife. “Blue, do you remember the days when Gem Tech was still called Magic, even on Homeworld?”

Blue tittered lightly. “Oh my, yes! We were so young back then, just a few thousand years out of the ground!”

Steven paused as he pulled up the video he’d been searching for. “Really? I didn’t know Gems used to call it Magic.”

Yellow smiled, waving a dismissive hand. “Well, Steven, you know what they say. Any sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from technology.”

Steven blinked rapidfire as his brain attempted to reconcile that sentence without short circuiting. With a grin, Spinel slid back over to Blue, reached her hands up, and began to swing from her hair loop that hung over her chest, her boots just a foot or so off the ground. As Blue smiled, Yellow trailed a hand upward, cupping Spinel’s cheek with a matching smile. She glanced at Blue. “Remember when she used to take naps in your hair loop?”

Spinel chuckled. “I miss that, not gonna lie. It’s super comfy when you guys are big enough for me to fit in there.” She gasped suddenly. “Wait, idea!” With a bright glow, Spinel’s form suddenly shifted much smaller, until she was around the size of a child’s doll, her limbs and head sticking out from the sides of her Gem. “There we go!” She squeaked, her voice having gotten much higher. She swung her tiny body upward, nestling perfectly into Blue’s hair loop. She kicked her feet up, her hands behind her head. “Aw, yeah… I’ve missed this…”

As Yellow and Blue laughed, Steven brought their attention to the screen of his phone. “Here, watch this for a sec.” Blue and Yellow leaned in close to the comparatively small screen. Spinel also cracked an eye open, despite having seen the video already.

Onscreen, there was a view of the floor of the beach house. From the side, Steven’s slightly muffled voice could be heard. “Here, Connie, can you hold that?”

The video straightened up to reveal an irritated-looking Jasper sitting cross-legged on the warp pad, her arms folded. Steven walked onscreen, holding two glasses of water. “Steven Universe here, to show off Jasper’s new curse for the Diamonds when I visit them.” Video-Steven looked to Video-Jasper. “Thanks for helping with this, Jasper.”

“I’m only doing this because you said please, runt.” Video-Jasper grumbled.

Somewhere offscreen, Pearl’s voice could be heard calling out. “And because you just look so darned cute when it happens!” The sound of Amethyst’s scratchy laughter could be heard. Video Jasper turned beet red. “Rassa-frassa riggin-friggin…”

Video-Steven took position behind the sitting Video-Jasper. “Now, observe.” He placed one water glass on the floor, and tipped the other over the top of Jasper’s voluminous white locks. As if a perfectly edited cut had happened between frames, Jasper was suddenly replaced with her enormous orange-wooled sheep form. A pair of distinctly unamused eyes glared out from the wool. “Baa.”

Video-Steven motioned to Sheep-Jasper. “Boom. Jasper is instantly mode-locked as a sheep when she gets splashed with cold water. She does have some Gem powers, but she can’t shapeshift back until we add…” Video-Steven knelt down and picked up the other glass. “Hot water.” With another tipped glass, normal Jasper sprung back into existence, who began to wring the water out of her hair, dripping onto the wooden floor.

Holding both glasses, Video-Steven shrugged. “And voila.” There was a long pause, then: “Connie, did you turn it o-“ The phone’s screen went back to the gallery mode as the video ended.

Steven glanced upward at the two Diamonds, both of their expressions bewildered. “So yeah, a curse. Pearl and Volleyball- sorry, Pink Pearl- have it too. They picked it up at some kinda cursed hot spring in the middle of China.”

Blue Diamond sat down on a loveseat the size of a car. “Hmm. Apologies, Steven, but which one is China again?”

Yellow raised a single finger. “If memory serves, I believe that’s the landmass where…” she glanced at Steven. “Ah, where… Pink faked her shattering? Where we aimed the Diamond blast?”

Steven shook his head. “No, no, that was South Korea. Right continent, though.” He pulled up a world map on his phone, pointing to the landmass. “That’s China.”

Blue nodded. “I see. They are right next to each other, though, so Yellow wasn’t far off.”

Steven blinked. “Right next to- they’re like a thousand miles apart!”

“That may be, but cosmically, they’re right next door, dear.”

Spinel raised a single finger from her spot in Blue’s hair loop. “Yer bein’ insensitive again, Blue.”

Blue sighed. “Yes, you’re right. Thank you, Spinel.” She gently stroked the tiny Spinel along the top of her head with a single finger. “Apologies, Steven.”

Yellow stood from her chair, beginning to pace as she pondered. “Either way, I’ve never seen anything like that curse. Outside of shapeshifting and Corruption, Gems shouldn’t be able to change their forms, much less in a way that blocks off their natural abilities.”

An inquisitive hand from Blue. “Wait a moment now, you had a project in the works a couple thousand years ago. The one that would force shapeshifting? Remember Amber D3K4-9939?”

“No, no, no, that was the Amber who I placed in charge of the Cluster project. You’re thinking of Amber LXIX-CDXX. D3K4-9939 was off active research duty by then.”

Blue smiled. “Oh, I remember LXIX! She was lovely, her Gem was always so lustrous. Didn’t she also head the one where they were trying to alter Gem composition, turn Quartzes into Rubies or some such nonsense?”

Yellow chuckled. “Yes, that’s the one. Come to think of it, I’m not sure any of those alteration projects worked.”

Steven slumped in his seat. “So is that a no?”

Yellow nodded, with a shrug. “I’m afraid so, Steven. None of the projects the science division tried sound close to what you’ve described, and even if they did, those projects were shuttered long before you came into existence. To much wasted time and resources, not nearly enough results.”

Blue shifted on the loveseat, tucking her legs up next to her. “I’d imagine any data gathered is still in storage on Homeworld. Would you like to see if someone can dig it up? Or perhaps get Amber LXIX on board? I’m sure she’d be glad to help.”

Steven shook his head. “No, none of that sound close enough to what we’re dealing with to go to the trouble of going through. Thanks, though.”

Yellow carefully rested an enormous hand on Steven’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, Steven. I know you were looking for answers.”

Steven smiled. “It’s okay. We’ll figure something out.”

The rest of Steven’s visit passed comparatively uneventfully. The Diamonds filled Steven in on their experiences having moved planetside. Spinel regaled everyone with the thrilling tales of her adventures in the stars with Lars. Some members of Blue’s coven came out to say hello and become better acquainted with Steven.

At the end of the day, with a last wave and a Goodbye, Steven warped back to Beach City, Spinel having opted to stay the week with the Diamonds.

In his warm bedroom, the sun beginning to slide below the horizon, a chilling cold clinging to the windows outside, Steven sighed, his head in Connie’s lap as she perused a volume of manga in one hand, stroking his hair out of his forehead with the other.

Noticing his troubled expression, Connie hummed. “Sorry today was a bust, Steven. I know you were really hoping the Diamonds would have something.”

Steven huffed, his arms crossed. “I know Ranma said Jusenkyo curses are super chaotic and hard to cure, but there’s gotta be something someone can do about it.”

Connie gave him a look. “For Pearl, Volley, and Jasper, right? Not for Ranma?”

Steven nodded. “Oh, absolutely. No, we’d be keeping any cure method faaaaaaaar away from Ranma. I don’t want to risk anything on her front.”

“Okay, good.”

“Either way, though, I don’t want Pearl to have to randomly turn into a sheep for the next eternity, and neither does she.”

“Yeah… but I don’t know what else we can do.”

Steven stared at the ceiling. “Should I have said no to the offer about those projects that Yellow mentioned? I got super bad vibes from them, but maybe…?”

Connie nestled herself closer to her best friend. “I dunno. I’m kinda leery about anything science-y the Gempire came up with. Exhibit A, the Cluster.”

Steven sighed, rubbing his face into Connie’s warm leg. “Your lap is super comfy.”

Connie smirked. “I try.”

Steven’s mop of curly hair rustled as he looked up into Connie’s eyes. “So, tell me about you and your girlfriend. Anything new?”

Connie’s eyes lit up in that way Steven adored. “Okay, let me tell you about what she told me the other day…”

Outside, the skies grew darker and colder, and the wind blew. As the two best friends whiled the night away inside, the year’s first flurry of snowflakes began to scatter down from the sky.

Chapter Text

December

Candlenights Eve

Lapis’s Apartment’s Loft Bedroom

8:00 a.m.

The thick comforter spread atop Lapis’s loft bed rose and fell gently, as the soft and gentle sound of sleeping breaths came from within.

Lapis was curled up into a ball, under the covers, snoozing soundly. She had been drifting in and out of consciousness for the past few hours, trying to make herself get up, only to fall back to sleep. Lapis hated the cold. Winter always made her sluggish.

She cracked her eyes open, blearily fumbling around in the bed in front of her. Her hand slid across empty sheets.

Wait. That’s not right. Where’s…

Lapis felt the edge of the mattress press down behind her, and smiled sleepily. “Mornin’, pumpkin.”

On the end of the bed, Pumpkin Junior Junior raised her head with a confused whine. Behind Lapis, she heard the voice of her favorite person giggle. “Sorry, wrong Pumpkin. Go back to sleep, girl.” Pumpkin Junior Junior stretched her tiny nubbin legs out, sighed, and went back to sleep.

Lapis hummed happily as she felt a soft kiss on the side of her head. Ranma’s voice murmured, “Morning, Blue. I’m back from my run.”

Her eyes still closed, Lapis nestled closer into the sheets. “Mornin’, Ranma. Happy Candlenights.”

“Happy Candlenights. It’s time to get up.”

Smiling, Lapis shook her head. “Mmmmmm-no. Too comfy.”

Ranma chuckled, trailing a hand under the covers, softly running her fingertips over Lapis’s shoulders and back. “I know, babe, but you made me promise to wake you up before I left. You said it was important. So c’mon, up and at ‘em.”

Lapis felt the Warm Fuzzies light up inside her at Ranma’s touch. “Noooooo, gimme fifteen more minutes.”

With a chuckle, Ranma grasped the tops of the covers, and began to slowly peel them away from Lapis’s huddled form. Lapis groped half-heartedly at the sheets as they slid off her, allowing the cold to seep in. “Noooooooo… you’re so meeeaaaaaan…”

Ranma dropped the warm blankets to the floor as Lapis shuddered dramatically in the center of the mattress. Lapis’s palms thumped heavily on the bed around her. “Frostbite… setting in… light fading… tell Peri… Paulette isn’t that bad…”

Grinning, Ranma eased herself onto the bed, hugging Lapis from behind, their bodies fitting together Just So in that way Lapis adored. Lapis sighed happily, pressing backward into her warm girlfriend. Behind her, Ranma craned her head downward, pressing a soft kiss against the hard surface of Lapis’s Gem. It flickered a light blue for just a second as she did.

Overcome by the Gem equivalent of serotonin, Lapis mashed her palms against her own face as she blushed heavily. “Awwwwwww, Ranmaaaaa…”

Ranma snickered softly. “My lil’ cold-blooded lizard girlfriend. Sorry, but ya gotta come outta hibernation now.”

A mock-offended scoff from Lapis. “I’ll show you cold blooded!”

Ranma jumped backward with a loud “EEP!” as Lapis pressed her cold, bare feet against her. Ranma tumbled out of bed, landing roughly on her butt as Lapis sat up, laughing loudly.

Rising to her feet, Ranma growled dramatically as her ki flowed around her. “That’s it… you’ve asked for it now…”

Eyes widening, Lapis scrambled backward across the bed, still grinning. “Not that! Anything but that!!!”

Smiling wickedly, Ranma lunged for Lapis. “Fist of the Cute Girlfriend Tickle!”

Lapis’s shrieks of laughter echoed down into the studio area of her and Peridot’s shared apartment.

Little Homeworld’s Pavilion

8:30 a.m.

Little Homeworld was covered in what was currently a light dusting of snow. Although the amount of snow had grown and shrunk over the past four weeks, it had never really gone away, the weather staying nice and cold.

Her arms folded and hands tucked in her armpits, Lapis smiled appreciatively as she watched Ranma stretch. The martial artist’s jogging suit, as red as her hair, shuffled softly as Ranma unbent upward, stretching her arms high above her head.

“Didn’t you already stretch this morning before your first run?”

Ranma sighed, satisfied, as she unwound from her stretch. A cloud of vapor puffed from her mouth in the cold air. “Ya gotta stretch anytime you do physical stuff, Lapis. Trust me, pulled muscles ain’t no joke.”

Lapis smirked, nudging her shoulder gently against her girlfriend. “I have a hard time imagining stuff like that happening to you.”

“Happens to the best of us. Better to have done and not needed, then needed to and not have. And besides…” Ranma flashed Lapis a sly, half-lidded smirk. “I like puttin’ on a show for my favorite gal.”

Lapis pushed at Ranma lightly, blushing. “You stop.” Ranma chuckled as she quickly pecked Lapis on the cheek. “Have fun with whatever thing you’re gettin’ up to today. I’ll see you after today’s classes are done.”

Lapis smiled softly, kissing Ranma back. “See you later, babe.”

With one last smile, Ranma began to jog through the pavilion, stepping lightly from one foot to another. As she departed, she called over her shoulder. “Love ya! Stay warm!”

Lapis waved goodbye. “Trust me, you don’t have to worry about that!”

With a smirk, Lapis turned and stepped back into the warm interior of the Barn, walking quickly for the elevator. She had a few things to grab before setting out on today’s… adventure.

Preoccupied as she was with her plans for the day, it was quite a while before she realized that Ranma had left without her usual work bag that held her gi.

Ranma silently bobbed and weaved around the exterior of Little Homeworld. Her silent footfalls carried her as she dove for cover behind bushes and around buildings.

Today’s mission required the utmost secrecy and stealth. Lapis couldn’t be allowed to know of Ranma’s true intentions. Thus with c… with feline-like tread, Ranma flattened herself against the wall of Bismuth’s forge, carefully slinking around the edge.

Silent as the grave. I shoulda been a ninja.

Inside the forge, Bismuth watched, bemused, as Ranma slid past, her back to the very large window.

“Is she… trying to be sneaky?”

At her side, Pearl shook her head incredulously, the sword and whetstone in her hands forgotten. “I… don’t know. I surely don’t.”

There was a loud THWACK as Ranma stepped on one of Peridot’s garden hoes, forgotten under the snow. The handle flung itself upward, striking Ranma in the face.

“BLERG!”

Ranma stumbled backward, and fell face-first into the snow.

Bismuth shook her head as Pearl tittered amusedly next to her.

Outside, Ranma flailed her way to her feet, making strangled, frustrated noise. Hunching low, she ran as quickly as she dared around the edge of the pavilion.

Ducking into an alcove to the right, she came upon a small door, the entrance to one of Little Homeworld’s private residences. Just above the door, a small window was open, despite the chill.

Ranma held her hand to her mouth. “Hoo-hoo, Hoo-hoo!”

Silence, save for the crunch of snow under her feet. There was no response from within.

Ranma tried again. “Hoo-HOO! Hoo-HOO!”

Still nothing. Ranma straightened up, irritation evident on her face. “Screech Owl!” She called upward.

A snide, nasal voice from within: “What kind of screech owl sounds have you been listening to?”

As Ranma thrust her hands to the sides in exasperation, another voice, this one softer and more measured, spoke up. “Will you two stop, this is ridiculous.” With a loud clack, the window was pulled shut, followed by the door being pushed open. Blue Pearl, clad in an eye-gougingly yellow bathrobe, stood in the home’s foyer, her eyes invisible behind her bangs. “Just come in, darn you both.”

Ranma stepped inside, stomping the caked snow from her shoes. Blue Pearl slid the door closed, clicking the light switch on. At her side, Yellow Pearl, wearing a cool blue bathrobe, shook her head in contempt. “I can hardly help it if I’m more committed to our little deception than our customer here, darling.”

Ranma rolled her eyes. “Bird calls was your idea! I wanted to do code phrases!”

“Oh, yes, of course, silly me. Surely it would be far less conspicuous to shout lines from The Tale Of Genji through the window at each other!”

“For the hundredth time, it was Enter the Dragon! You’re the one with crap taste in movies!”

Ranma and Yellow Pearl’s argument was cut off from going any further by the sound of a loud CRACK, like a block of ice breaking in half. The two of them jumped in fright. Before them, Blue Pearl stood, a blue-handled Glock pointed at the ceiling. Smoke wafted upward from the barrel.

“Now. Are we going to act like civilized beings, or do I need to get Mad?”

Yellow Pearl stomped over to her wife, snatching the pistol from her hand. “For goodness sake, dear, will you stop scaring the humans with that thing!”

Blue Pearl froze, then sighed heavily, slumping forward against Yellow Pearl’s shoulder. “I did it again, didn’t I?”

Yellow Pearl’s gaze softened, as she wrapped her wife in a gentle hug. “It’s okay. As long as you know you need to work on it.”

Ranma’s eyes trailed upward. The foyer ceiling had a very well-done patch job, a single hole neatly in the center of the plaster. The width of the patch of plaster indicated multiple jobs, each one done by a patient hand.

Yellow Pearl handed the pistol back to Blue Pearl. It lit up as she took it, and disappeared back into her Gem.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. Now apologize to our guest.”

Blue Pearl turned, and bowed respectfully to Ranma. “Apologies. After several millennia of… emotional unpredictability, I’m still struggling with controlling my own emotions. It’s not an excuse, but an explanation.”

Ranma bowed back. “Apology accepted. Thank you for at least making an effort, that means a lot to me. I also apologize for causing a scene in your home.”

Blue Pearl straightened up. “It’s quite alright, I’m the one that escalated it. Let us put this behind us, and finish your work.”

Yellow Pearl emerged from the hall closet, carrying a small stepladder and a bucket containing caulking materials. She placed them on the floor with a muted clunk, glancing at her wife with a smile. “We’ll patch that up later.”

Ranma eased down the hall to the second door on the left, a familiar route she had taken multiple times in the past few weeks. The door opened silently, Blue Pearl softly entering the room with her.

The small side room was Blue Pearl’s own studio, for her own artistic efforts. Much smaller and neater than Lapis’s studio, the den had a large bay window to allow sunlight, a small couch, and an easel. The dark green walls combined with the dark brown wood flooring gave the room a comfortably quiet feel to it.

Ranma pulled up a stool, making herself comfortable. Blue Pearl wheeled her easel in front of Ranma, before fishing a canvas out from next to the desk. Smiling, Ranma took it from her, securing it into the easel with the clamps. She sat back, examining the colors that had bedecked the canvas over their past few sessions with a small grin.

Blue Pearl leaned it, somehow able to examine it despite her blinding bangs. “It looks good.”

Ranma nodded, uncorking a plastic tube of paint. She squeezed it onto a cheap plastic plate, a bright gold color, before choosing a fine-tipped brush.

“Almost done.”

Fifteen Minutes Earlier…

Lapis’s Apartment

8:45 a.m.

Lapis shut the apartment door behind her as she stepped back out onto the balcony, an excited smile on her face even as the chilly wind blew against it. With a quick flash of light, a dark blue turtleneck manifested around her torso. She paused, clutching the fabric of the neck in her hands, rubbing it against her cheeks and nose. It was very snuggly soft.

She was too excited to take the elevator. With a skip and a squeak, she hopped up and over the railing, allowing herself the giddy fun of free-falling for several floors before spreading her wings.

She gently landed on the brick ground of the pavilion. Chuckling as she withdrew her wings, she just barely noticed a quick flash of red disappearing between a pair of buildings.

Eh. Just a Ruby.

Her shoes clacking against the ground, Lapis almost pranced over to the Warp Pad in the center of the pavilion. She fished her phone from her pocket, looking at the text that had arrived last night for the thousandth time.

From: 011-81-80-2691-4202

It’s ready

This is gonna be so good! I can’t wait to see her face!

Pocketing her phone again, Lapis disappeared in the flash of a departing Warp, and instantly reappeared in

Tokyo, Japan

8:37 p.m. Japan Standard Time

The Japanese Government’s Branch of the Gem Embassy

Lapis stepped off of one of the five Warp Pads in front of the Gembassy, just across the street from the Diet Building, in the center of Tokyo. She stuffed her hands in her pants pockets against the cold, far more bone-chilling than Beach City’s.

Glancing around, she spread her wings once again, leisurely floating upward to see above the wall surrounding the Gembassy’s property.

Candlenights in Japan was quite the event. The nighttime streets were packed with groups of friends and couples, young and old, all smiling and enjoying the holiday. Snow floated gently down from above, the well-salted streets not frozen, but wet and cold.

Steeling herself against the undoubtedly freezing air she’d encounter above the buildings, Lapis flung herself into the sky, shedding droplets of water that fell as snow as she went, much to the delight and awe of a few passers-by. A worker on a nearby roof, distracted by her ascent, stepped a little too far backward, knocking a bucket of whitewash to the street below.

Lapis winced. “Sorr- uh, sumimasen!” She called downward. Hopefully the bucket hadn’t hit anybody on ground level.

It hadn’t been easy, finding someone who could make Lapis what she wanted authentically, without Ranma finding out. Peri had been a huge help in finding someone. She’d had to bum some cash off Steven to pad out her own funds to pay for it too. Thankfully, the Gembassy provided a money conversion service to Gems who needed it.

Heading South, the bright red point of Tokyo Tower came into view up ahead as she rounded a building. Smiling, Lapis angled herself closer, offering a friendly wave to the people on the observation deck, who gawked and waved back at her flyby.

She rounded Tokyo Tower, now heading west. Just up ahead, the Shibuya ward lay out before her. In the distance, far beyond Shibuya, near the edge of Tokyo, Lapis imagined she could see the Nerima ward, somewhere in the cold and dark. Not that she planned to touch that area with a forty-foot pole.

A few cold minutes later, Lapis descended into a familiar alley, tucked behind one of Shibuya’s busier streets. The doors back here led into various office buildings, or smaller businesses that couldn’t afford the enormous storefronts. Though Lapis couldn’t read the kanji labeled across each sign and nameplate, she knew which door she was looking for.

A quick knock-knock-knock on the door, followed by a pause as Lapis waited, shuffling idly in the cold, thankful that she’d shifted the blue sweater.

After a moment, a stern-looking old woman clad in a dark green kimono answered the door. Her steely eyes pierced out from under her grey hair. “Konbanwa.” Then, in fluent English: “Took you long enough. I was about to lock up and head home.”

Lapis bowed, remembering what she’d read. “Apologies, Yutaka-sensei. I had a long way to go to get here.”

“Hmph.” Yutaka stepped aside, allowing Lapis to slide through the open door. “Just as well. Gave me some extra time to do some touch-ups.”

Lapis glanced around the cramped workroom, packed with reams of fabrics and sewing machines of various types and ages. Yutaka quietly crossed to the other side of a large worktable, and leaned down to the small shelf on the underside. From there, she produced a cloth bundle, wrapped in white. She laid it on the worktable, motioning it to Lapis. “Have a look, make sure it’s alright.”

Gently, as if she were afraid the bundle would fall to pieces if she touched it too much, Lapis unwrapped her commission from the cloth wrapped around it.

There it was.

Lapis couldn’t help but gasp softly at the craftsmanship that went into her gift. The colors were vibrant, the fabric impossibly soft.

Lapis looked up at Yutaka, before bowing deeply. “It’s so perfect. Thank you so much, Yutaka-sensei.”

Yutaka gave a small sniff, not quite a chuckle. “It’s my pleasure. A little too bright for my tastes, but it’s your yen. You’re happy, I’m happy, Yukichi is happy, all’s well that ends well.”

Carefully, Lapis re-wrapped the bundle in its cloth, smiling ear-to-ear. “She’s gonna love it. Thank you again.”

10:05 a.m.

Little Homeworld’s Pavilion

The clouds had darkened, snow beginning to fall on Beach City again.

Walking quickly, snow crunching under her shoes, Ranma gently adjusted the wrapped canvas under her arm. A quick trip up to her apartment to stash this baby until tonight, and Lapis would be none the wiser-

Ranma’s eyes were drawn to her right as the Warp Pad lit up with an incoming Warp. She froze in place as Lapis stepped out of the glow, catching Ranma’s eyes before also freezing.

The two stood stock-still, like deer in headlights, both caught in the act.

Ranma glanced at the wrapped cloth bundle held in Lapis’s hands, before her eyes traced upward to the fat snowflakes still stuck in her hair.

Lapis’s eyes bounced from Ranma’s flat, wrapped present, to the paint smudges staining her fingertips, to the conspicuous lack of a gi.

Ranma, mouth dry, finally managed to make a noise. “I…” she croaked.

Lapis, stomach fluttering, blinked guiltily. “Buh…”

The two suddenly thrust their respective parcels behind their own backs. “NOTHING!” They shouted in unison.

There they stood, staring each other down. The tension in the air could be cut with a knife. A lone tumbling tumbleweed dramatically tumbled by.

Their eyes were locked with each other, neither daring to blink.

Both shared a single, unified thought:

I have to get up there before she does.

“So.” Ranma said.

“So.” Lapis responded.

“Nice weather we’re havin’.”

“Sure is.”

Ranma suddenly thrust a single pointing finger forward toward the ground at Lapis’s feet. “Look! A five-dollar bill!”

Lapis pointed quickly at the ground in front of Ranma. “Look! A ten-dollar bill!”

Ranma craned her head to look around Lapis. “Oh, hey, Peridot! Who’s that with you? Is that the guy who played Percy on Camp Pining Hearts?”

Not to be outdone, Lapis looked past Ranma and smiled hugely. “Oh, what’s that, Bismuth? You want to lift Ranma super-high with your super-buff muscles? Wow, you’re so nice!”

At the edge of the Pavilion, Bismuth sat next to Pearl on a bench, a paper cup of hot cocoa in her giant mitt, watching the ridiculous drama unfold. “Uh-uh. Nope. Don’t you involve me in this nonsense.”

As if on cue, Peridot charged full-tilt across the Pavilion, snowball in hand, intent on being involved in this nonsense.

“TALLY-HO, CLOD!” She screeched, launching the snowball with the deadly precision earned by all belabored IT workers.

Caught by surprise, Ranma automatically turned, and had just enough time to read Peridot’s ugly holiday sweater (“Where My Ho Ho Ho’s At”), before catching a face full of snow for her troubles. She staggered backward from the sudden cold shock.

Peridot turned and ran, flashing a thumbs-up at her roommate. “Now, Lapis!”

Grinning at the sudden opening, Lapis flung herself into the sky, wings wide. She’d be at her apartment’s balcony in seconds.

Down below, blinking snow from her eyes mid-stagger, Ranma’s determination rose within her.

“Kachū Tenshin Amaguriken.”

Lapis was suddenly thrown for a loop mid-air with the impact of a snowball to the back of her head.

Ten stories up.

She spun-

Nani-

Below her, Ranma’s arms were a blur of speed and movement, an impossible volley of snowballs launching themselves upward at her girlfriend. Ranma grinned madly as the cold projectiles flew through the air. Her wrapped canvas was perched delicately on the top of her head, steady and unmoving as she continued her assault like a holiday-themed gatling gun.

If footage of the spectacle were slowed down, one would see her Soul-Of-Ice-clouded right hand darting downward to the ground, quickly gathering and packing a snowball one-handed, tossing it upward and catching it in her other hand, before flinging it into the sky.

Eyes widening, Lapis curled herself around her wrapped gift as snowballs pelted her by the dozen. Despite the onslaught, a mischievous smile slunk across her face.

So it’s war, then.

A single airborne snowball stopped bluntly in midair, hanging in front of Lapis’s huddled form.

Another snowball did the same, hovering next to Lapis’s shoulder.

And another.

And another.

And another.

By the time the speed-giddy Ranma noticed what was happening, it had been several dozen snowballs later. Slowing down, she stood straight up, looking up at her girlfriend in dumbstruck awe.

A collective fifty-some-odd snowballs hung in the air around Lapis Lazuli, who now hung in the air, wrapped package in hand, a triumphant grin on her face. She raised her other hand, as if wrestling the air itself into submission.

Above her, loose snow began to rise into the air from the top of the Barn.

Across from the Barn, more snow began to spiral upward from the roof of the Gem Gym.

Across Little Homeworld, from every roof, piled snow floated upward, spiraling and clouding through the air, slowly collecting above the floating Lapis. The bottom of the mass rested almost weightlessly on Lapis’s open hand.

Her mouth agape, Ranma stared up at Lapis, eyes filled with an almost worshipful admiration. A single lone snowball fell from her hand.

Lapis laughed haughtily, like a villain from a Saturday Morning cartoon. “Do you yield, worthy adversary?”

Smiling back, Ranma struck a defiant pose. “Do your worst, wretch! I yield to no one!”

On their bench, Pearl and Bismuth’s eyes widened as they realized what was about to happen. Bismuth stood, pointing into the sky at Lapis. “Laz! Don’t you dare! I know where you live!”

Lapis chuckled darkly. “So be it.”

She raised her arm high, and flung her hand downward.

Fifty snowballs and a veritable mountain of snow came roaring downward.

Bismuth grabbed Pearl in a bridal carry and took off running for the other side of the Pavilion.

As the sky darkened, Ranma closed her eyes and spread her arms wide, welcoming defeat for one of the rare few times in her life.

Fifty snowballs poofed sequentially into her face, tossing her into the air and onto her back. She was instantly covered in a cold coating of snow, smothering into every corner and crevice.

Bismuth, just short of clearing the Pavilion, was lifting bodily by the quickly-spreading avalanche, Pearl tossed from her grasp with a squeak.

In seconds, the Pavilion was clogged and filled with snow, enough to give a platoon of snow-shovelers nightmares for weeks.

High above her monument to the word “Snowmaggedon”, Lapis cackled, clutching her sides as she floated.

“Oh! Oh my stars! That! That was the most fun I’ve had in ages.” Lapis wiped a joyful tear from her eye as she laughed.

Suddenly, from above, a familiar deep, synthesized voice.

“DEPLOYING.”

Her eyes wide, Lapis quickly looked upward, just in time to receive a face full of snow descending at great speed. With a squawk, her wings retracted, and she fell, a mass of blue limbs sticking out of a couch-sized snow pouf. She landed in her massive snowdrift, instantly embedding deep into the snow.

At the edge of the Pavilion, just outside of the pile, Peridot cackled villainously as a large, round, robot landed next to her. “TAKE THAT, FOOLS! PERIDOT! PERI-WINS!”

“HUGBOT HAS COMPLETED SNOWBALL DEPLOYMENT. THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATRONAGE.”

Peridot instantly wrapped her short arms around Hugbot’s cold poly-alloy exterior, rubbing her cheek against it affectionately. “Ooohhhhh, you’re such a good boy, Hugbot! You’re getting all the robo-cuddles in the world later!”

“THANK YOU, MOTHER.”

Ranma suddenly burst from the top of the snow pile with a gasp, clutching her well-wrapped gift tightly in one hand. She gasped for air for several seconds, before falling into loud, giddy giggles.

Two blue fists punching their way from the top a few feet away heralded Lapis’s triumphant return, also clutching her bundle. “ET TU, HUGBOT?!” She yelled, smiling hugely despite herself.

Still laughing, Ranma groped for the shoulder of Lapis’s blue sweater, yanking herself out of the snow pile and closer to her girlfriend, before grabbing her other shoulder and kissing her very, very hard.

After a few seconds, the kiss broke, the two laughing.

“Stars, I love you.”

“I love you,too.”

At the other edge of the Pavilion, Bismuth thrashed her way to a standing position, glaring up at the two. “Lazuli! You better clean this mess up, because I sure as heck ain’t!” She glared over her shoulder. “Right, Pearl?”

Behind Bismuth, two hooved back legs and a fluffy wool tail poked from the snow pouf. A muffled, assenting Baa could just barely be heard.

Lapis’s Apartment

10:00 p.m.

Lapis and Peridot’s shared apartment was decidedly un-decorated for the season. They knew what they liked in their space, and going to the trouble of hanging up lights and decorations they were just gonna take back down a few weeks later was not one of them.

This year was no different, with the exception of a single added piece of decoration.

A large trans flag hung on the wall, draping over the window. It had seemed appropriate.

Lapis couldn’t help but feel festive in spite of the lack of décor. She still wasn’t entirely clear on the point of most human holidays, but Candlenights was always able to bring a comfy feeling to her life.

The apartment was lit by various lamps, making the studio space and the upstairs loft look just as warm as they felt. Through the windows, Lapis could just barely see fat flecks of snow still coming down in the darkness.

Lapis hummed softly as she struck a match. She delicately placed it to the end of a stick of incense, inhaling the scent deeply. Cedarwood, orange, clove, patchouli.

Lapis sighed happily. “Remind me to thank Pearl again for showing me this stuff.”

Peridot nodded as she pulled an enormous pair of boots on over her own. “Noted. Would you like me to pass your thanks along to Pearl myself, since I’ll be at the Temple?”

“You can if you want. I know you and Amethyst will be busy. What all are you guys getting up to?”

Satisfied with the boots, Peridot began wrestling a thick coat off of an uncooperative hanger. “Amethyst and I will likely be snuggling, mostly.”

Lapis smirked. “The favorite pastime of the Gay Grapes.”

“Correct. Steven is with Greg, Pearl is with her polycule, Garnet is… off doing Garnet things. I think Connie has an Internet date with her long-distance girlfriend.” Peridot flashed Lapis a wink as she finally managed to remove the coat from its hanger. “And you two have either apartment to yourselves for the night.”

As Peridot wrestled her way into the coat, Lapis rolled her eyes. “You do know you can just… shift a jacket onto yourself, right?”

“This is more fun.”

Lapis chuckled as she drew the red Chinese shirt closer around herself. “Got me there.” She gently scratched a leg with her foot, clad in a purple slipper.

Now swaddled in cold-weather gear for the few seconds it would take to walk to the Warp Pad from the front of the Barn, Peridot awkwardly knelt down, scratching a panting Pumpkin Junior Junior under the chin. “You be a good girl for Lapis and Ranma, okay?”

Pumpkin Junior Junior gave a quick Yip, before licking Peridot’s face with her long tongue. Laughing, Peridot brushed her face off, before heading for the door. Peridot tossed a wave over her shoulder. “You crazy kids have a fun Candlenights! I’ll be home tomorrow!”

Lapis waved back. “See you tomorrow, Peri! Have fun!”

As the door shut behind Peridot, and the Gem-based lock hummed as it activated, Lapis crossed the studio to the bathroom door, her slippered feet padding softly against the floor. She tapped gently on the door with a single knuckle. “Ranma? You okay in there? You’ve been in there a minute.”

There was a pause. Then…

The lock unclicked, the door silently opening just a crack. A single eyebrow curling up at the unspoken invitation, Lapis pushed the door open with her fingertips. Her gaze softened. “Oh, Ranma…”

Ranma stood at the sink, her black hair dripping warm water droplets down her back. Her sports bra stretched tightly over her flat, muscular chest. Along her biceps and torso, the old, faded scratches and scars from dozens of angry cats.

Ranma turned her head, looking Lapis in the eyes. It was odd, Lapis realized, having to look up to look her girlfriend in the eyes. She had some extra inches in her Deadmode.

Ranma smiled uneasily. “Hey, Blue. Sorry ‘bout this.” Her voice was soft, just barely above a whisper.

“Ranma? Are you okay?”

Ranma nodded. “Y-yeah. Just… just wanted to… to see it, I guess. See if it looked like I remembered. And nope, still hate it. At least I’m not having panic attacks over it anymore.”

Lapis reached out, gently sliding into a tight hug against Ranma’s back. Her arms wrapped forward, around her girlfriend. She pressed her cheek into Ranma’s shoulder. “You know you’re super valid, right? No matter what form you want to take?”

Ranma nodded. “Yeah. I know. Thanks, Lapis. Here, hang on…” Ranma gently leaned forward out of the hug, turning the cold handle forward at the sink. She leaned down, allowing the cold water to pool in her hands, before splashing her face.

As Ranma’s bulk slid downward, her hair shifting from dull black to rich red, Lapis watched as the myriad scars along her sides and back slid out of existence, like lines being drawn in reverse. Lapis reached over, snagging the hand towel, offering it to Ranma.

Ranma smiled. “Thanks.” She wiped her face and hands off, looking at herself in the mirror with a smile. “Much better.”

Near the top of Ranma’s back, between her shoulder blades, Lapis noticed something she hadn’t seen before. A small, circular burn scar, the size of a bottle cap. Lapis ran a single thumb over it. “What happened here?”

Ranma blinked in confusion, before realizing what Lapis was referring to. “Oh, the burn? That’s a story on its own.” She paused. “Actually, do you wanna see my scars?”

“Sure, only if you’re okay with talking about them.”

“Yeah, none of them are as bad as the c-c-cat thing. Here, let’s go siddown.”

The two slid out of the bathroom, Lapis clicking the light off behind them. The crossed the warm, empty studio, heading for the sitting area next to the windows.

“I’ve noticed how your cat scars only appear in your Deadmode.” Lapis noted. “Are any of your other scars mode-exclusive?”

Ranma shook her head, her braid tick-tocking back and forth. “Nah, just those. I think it’s ‘cause I got them before I got Cursed, and all my other scars happened after? Like a body reset or somethin’.”

Lapis shrugged. “Makes sense to me.”

To the side of the Couch With The Good Texture, a mass of blankets and pillows had been spread on the floor, allowing a view out the window. In the darkness outside, flecks of falling snow could just barely be seen beyond the scattered lights of Little Homeworld. Outside of the range of the blankets, the heater hummed softly.

As Lapis eased herself into a seated position on the layer of blankets, Ranma paused. She untied the tie on her monk pants, shucking them off, tossing them onto the Couch. Clad only in her sports bra and a pair of white panties, she sat down in a cross-legged position on the blankets. She wiggled her bare feet into the fabric, relishing the comfy feel of it.

Pumpkin Junior Junior came trotting over, eased herself up against Lapis’s leg, and instantly fell asleep.

Lapis sat back against the couch. “Okay. Let’s have a look at you. Again, only if you’re okay with it.”

Ranma smiled, shifting around to show Lapis her back. “It’s cool. I’ve… actually kinda been wanting to do this with you for a bit. Is that weird?”

“Not at all.” Lapis smiled.

Ranma nodded. “Okay.” Her back to Lapis, Ranma pointed over her shoulder at the small burn scar in the center of her back. “That one came from when Happosai, this pervy martial arts grandmaster, decided to punish me fer stoppin’ him from harassing people. He put a hot coal on my back called a Moxibustion ember, made me super weak. Me, Pops, and Ukyo had to travel to China to get that reversed.”

Lapis eased Ranma backward, gently circling her legs around her seated girlfriend. Ranma found herself blushing as Lapis’s arms wrapped softly around her, her palms resting on the plush of Ranma’s stomach. Lapis leaned forward, kissing the scar gently. Ranma’s face burned as her heart leapt in her chest.

Lapis held her beloved close as she placed her right hand on a large scar on Ranma’s shoulder. “What about this one?”

Ranma nodded. “That one was from Mousse. He got a lucky hit in with one of his sickles once.”

Another soft kiss. Ranma smiled, pressing against her favorite person.

Lapis’s hand traced down Ranma’s arm now, her thumb tracing over a single long, thin scar that wound around and around Ranma’s left bicep in a long, trailing path. “These ones?”

Ranma glanced down at her arms, a soft chuckle escaping her lips. “Akane got kidnapped again, so we had to go to this castle to rescue her from these warriors, the Seven Lucky Gods. One of ‘em, Monlon, could control the strings on her lute. She wrapped ‘em around me, and they did that.”

Another kiss from Lapis. Ranma laughed fully now, a toothy grin on her face. Lapis smiled against her, trailing her hand down to clutch Ranma’s. Her fingertips were scarred from various tiny incisions. “These?”

“That was from when I learned the Amaguriken. You’re supposed to learn it by snatching chestnuts outta the fire, but Elder Cologne had hit a pressure point on me that made me super weak to heat, so I couldn’t even get near it. So she changed it up, had me snatch piranha out of a tank. Some of ‘em got lucky.”

Lapis carefully pulled Ranma’s hand upward and back, softly kissing each fingertip held in her own. Ranma nuzzled softly against Lapis’s cheek. “You stop that.”

“Never.”

Ranma smiled, taking Lapis’s hand with her other. “Just one more left.” Ranma pulled Lapis’s hand back down to her stomach. Just below her ribs was a small splotch, a tan and purple stain.

“This.”

Ranma sighed happily as she leaned back against her girlfriend. “Ryoga got a really good strike in with his umbrella once. The bruise never really went away. Doc Tofu said it had healed badly. Doesn’t hurt, though.”

Too comfy to let Ranma up from her lap, Lapis satisfied herself by kissing her own hand, and pressing it to the old mark.

Ranma snuggled deeper into Lapis’s embrace. Somehow, that indirect kiss had made everything all the more special. “Heh. Right in the chub.”

Lapis trailed a finger over the soft layer of squish that had developed over Ranma’s stomach in the months following her flight from Nerima. “I like it. I think it’s super cute.”

Ranma shrugged. “I’m okay with it, to be honest. Just means that Pops isn’t stealing food from my plate anymore. Plus I’m a lot less stressed these days.”

Lapis grinned, running a hand over Ranma’s arm, squeezing her tight bicep. “It’s the best of both worlds. I get to have my cake, and the beefcake.”

Ranma snorted in her lap. “Boooo. Yer a bum. Get off the stage.”

“So is that all of your scars?” Lapis asked, her lips against Ranma’s neck.

Ranma nodded. “Yep.”

Lapis’s right hand squeezed Ranma’s forearm. Below her wrist, a small red splotch. “What about this guy?”

Ranma popped one eye open to look. “That’s just a birthmark, Lapis.”

“Ah. I keep forgetting humans have those.”

“Do Gems ever have marks like that?”

Lapis shrugged. “Some do. Stripes, spots, stuff like that. Depends on what’s in the ground when our Kindergartens are made.”

“I’ve seen the other Lapis, with the freckles? She’s in my class at the Gem Gym.”

A nod from Lapis. “Yeah, Freckles is cool. She’s super sweet.”

Ranma held Lapis’s hand close to her face, gently kissing her knuckles. “And I know that you guys don’t really get scars, since you guys Poof when you get injured and all that. Corruption marks aside, I mean.”

“Actually, Ranma, I do have a scar.”

Ranma cocked an eyebrow, fascinated. “Really? Where? How?”

Lapis shrugged. “It’s on my back. I’ll show you later, after we get up. Remember how I told you how I was trapped in a mirror?”

“Yeah.”

“Homeworld did that by Poofing me and sticking my Gem in a slot. If you look, you’ll see it. It traces around my Gem. It happens when a Gem gets Harvested and used like that.”

“Wow. That sucks.” Ranma kissed the back of Lapis’s hand again. “I’m still so sorry that happened to you, Lapis.”

“Eh. It is what it is.”

“Still. You didn’t deserve that.”

“Neither did you.”

Ranma shrugged. “Eh. What matters is…” She looked up at Lapis. “We’re here now.”

Lapis smiled, bending her head down to kiss Ranma’s upside-down lips. “Yeah. We are, aren’t we?”

Ranma grinned hugely. “Want your Candlenights present?”

Lapis grinned back. “Only if I can give you yours too!”

Ranma thrashed from Lapis’s lap to her knees, spinning to look her girlfriend in the eye. “You go grab mine, I’ll grab yours!”

The two slapping each other’s hands in a high-five, Lapis quickly vaulted the couch, charging up the stairs to the loft bedroom two-by-two. Ranma powerslid over the sculpture podium in the center of the studio toward the doorway, where her still-wrapped canvas sat neatly against the wall. She literally bounced off the wall as she snagged it, and charged back for the blankets just as Lapis came bounding back down the stairs. The two simultaneously plopped back into the blanket nest, presents in hand, matching smiles on their faces.

“YOU OPEN YOURS FIRST! NO, YOU OPEN YOURS FIRST!” They shouted in unison, before Lapis fell against Ranma, laughing hard as she clutched her shoulders. Ranma gave Lapis a smooch on the top of the head as she laughed.

“Lapis, I want to see your reaction first, before I open mine.” As Lapis straightened up, Ranma struck a pitiful pose, lip quivering under her massive doe eyes. “Pweeeease?”

Snickering, Lapis shoved a hand in Ranma’s face. “Okay, okay, Puppy Dog Pout. You win.”

“Yay!” Ranma thrust the flat, wrapped parcel in Lapis’s direction. “Happy Candlenights!” Setting hers to the side atop the couch, Lapis took the gift from Ranma’s hand. She ran her hand across the smooth wrapping paper, feeling the flat surface. Being a painter, Lapis knew a canvas when she felt one. That was actually kind of surprising. Had Ranma commissioned something from someone else for her?

Ranma bounced from side to side with anticipation as Lapis tore into the wrapping paper, careful not to damage the canvas within. As the subject of the painting came into view, Lapis froze, her eyes wide.

Painted in rough, bumpy acrylic was a Morp of Lapis.

From the chest up, ¾ view. In the bottom corner, signed in red with a fine brush, was a kanji that Lapis couldn’t read, but knew exactly whose name it was.

The tiniest flecks of gold decorated her eyes in the portrait. Various shades of blue trailed and faded into each other, the light blue of her skin, her hair, a darker blue of shadow under it. It was actually pretty well done for a first-timer like Ranma.

The technique was a little rough. Her lines could have been blended a little better, and one eye was slightly larger than the other.

It was perfect.

Lapis breathed softly as she traced her fingertips over the paint, committing every stroke and edge to memory. “Ranma… it’s so perfect… I love it… did you paint this?”

Ranma chuckled, scratching the back of her head. “Yeah… I’m not much of a painter, but I wanted to do something that was You, yanno? So I talked to Blue Pearl about a month ago, and… she walked me through it. It took a while, and I had a few false starts, but… I think it came out really well.” She grinned at Lapis sheepishly. “D’you like it?”

Lapis hugged the canvas close to her chest. “I. Love. It.” She leaned forward, kissing Ranma softly on the cheek, before looking around her studio. “Now I have to find a place to hang this.”

Ranma’s eyes widened in fear. “Don’t you dare!”

Lapis stuck her tongue out at Ranma. “I can and I am! No take-backs!”

Laughing, Ranma sat back. “Okay, okay, you win.”

Setting the canvas in her lap, Lapis reached up and behind her, snagging her gift for Ranma off the couch. She held the wrapped cloth bundle out to her. “For you. Happy Candlenights.”

Ranma took the gift, squeezing it gently. “Definitely something clothing-related…” She grinned at Lapis. “Did you get me another dress or somethin’?”

Lapis grinned. “Just open it, ya clod.”

Ranma untied the cloth bundle holding her gift, allowing it to fall open on her lap. She instantly stopped short, her eyes wide, barely daring to believe what she was seeing.

Her fingers traced over orange silk and red satin. A long white collar trailed around the top.

Her hands shaking in awe, Ranma ever-so-delicately lifted the kimono from her lap, allowing it to unfold open. It was impossibly soft, yet Ranma knew it was incredibly durable. Around the bottom, orchids grew upward, tracing up and around each other in purples and whites. Within the cloth wrapping in her lap, below where the kimono had sat, a white obi awaited. Tucked beneath the obi, a pair of zori sandals.

Ranma’s eyes grew misty as something from her days in school happened to pop out of her distant memory. From what little she knew about color palettes, orange was one of the opposite pantones from blue… the opposite color of Nodoka Saotome’s drab blue kimono that she wore, every day.

Ranma had simply smeared some paint on a canvas. Lapis… Lapis had gotten her something amazing. A true work of art. A masterpiece of craftsmanship, Ranma could tell by the intricacy of the stitch.

“Lapis… It’s so beautiful…”

Lapis smiled back at her. “I did the design. Peridot did some research, and put me in contact with an actual kimono maker in Tokyo. Yutaka-sensei really came through with the design I made.”

Ranma’s fingers ran across the smooth fabric, feeling more and more hot tears rise in her eyes. She wiped her eyes with her forearm, chuckling wetly. “S-sorry… I don’t wanna get your gift all gross or anything…” Setting the kimono to the side, Ranma flung her arms around her girlfriend, hugging her tightly. “Thank you so much, Lapis. Thank you.”

Lapis hugged Ranma back. “Wanna try it on?”

Ranma nodded happily, picking the kimono back up and hugging it to her like a well-worn teddy bear. “I’ve never actually worn a kimono before!”

Smiling, her eyes soft, Lapis gently took the kimono out of Ranma’s hands as she stood up. She let it unfold fully, and turned it so the interior was facing away from her. Ranma turned, her arms behind her, allowing Lapis to slip it over Ranma’s shoulders, her arms sliding smoothly into the sleeves.

Ranma almost gasped. Even without the kimono fully on yet, the feel of the soft fabric over her skin felt amazing.

She slid her gaze over to Lapis, who, much to her amusement, was scanning an article on her phone labeled “How to tie an Obi.”

“First, wrap right side of kimono around to left hip.” Lapis murmured. “Next, wrap left side over right hip. Holding the kimono closed, wrap obi around body two to three times…”

Ranma dutifully held the kimono closed as Lapis carefully wrapped the white obi around her, tying it neatly in a bow when it was snug and comfortable.

For the finishing touch, she placed the zori on the floor in front of Ranma’s bare feet. Ranma stepped into the wooden sandals, tucking the strap between her toes.

The ensemble complete, Ranma glanced herself up and down. The zori clacked on the hard floor as she shifted. A huge, giddy grin trembled on her face.

“Lapis. Lapis. Lapis Lapis Lapis.”

Lapis cocked an eyebrow. “That’s my name, don’t wear it out.”

Ranma stepped from one foot to the other, practically hopping in excitement. “I love it! I love it so so so much!!!”

Lapis smirked, with a wink. “You haven’t even seen yourself in the mirror yet.”

Eyes widening, Ranma quickly trotted back toward the bathroom, eagerly pushing the door open as she reached it. Clicking the light on, she did gasp this time, balling her fists in front of her mouth as she looked herself over.

“It’s so perfect it’s so perfect it’s so perfect it’s so perfect…”

Lapis slid into the bathroom, hands in her pockets, red Chinese shirt comfortably around her. “You’re perfect, Ranma. I love you so much.”

Ranma blushed as she ran her hands across the wonderful, wonderful texture of the kimono. “I love you so much, Lapis.” Her expression soured slightly. “This is amazing. I wish I’d done something nicer than slap some paint around and call it done.”

Lapis gently turned Ranma around to face her. “Hey, now. None of that. I love that painting you made me, and you better believe it’s going front and center over my easel.”

“But…”

Lapis softly kissed her nose, cupping her cheeks with her hands. “Ranma, you’re the best thing that ever happened to me, and you deserve to know that. You deserve nice things.”

Ranma pressed her cheeks into Lapis’s palms, moaning softly at their warmth.

Lapis smiled. “You’re my beautiful, pretty, amazing girlfriend, and you deserve the best I can give you.”

Ranma giggled lowly, pressing harder into Lapis’s hands. “Stooooop…”

Lapis chuckled back. “What, stop saying things like… My Ranma is the prettiest girl in the woooooorld?”

Ranma closed her eyes, blushing. “Noooooo…”

“Because it’s true. My Ranma is radiant, and cute, and so strong…”

Ranma’s face was as red as her hair at this point. “Stooooooop…”

Lapis raised Ranma’s head slightly, looking her in the eyes. “Do you want me to stop?”

Ranma’s hands raised upwards, the baggy sleeves of her kimono sliding down to her elbows. She held Lapis’s hands, on the borders of her face, and looked back at her.

“Don’t ever stop.”

The Next Morning

7:00 a.m.

The front doors of the Barn slid open silently before her.

Ranma stepped outside into the snowy Pavilion, glancing around at the still-dark Little Homeworld, the ground crunching under her running shoes.

The ground was covered in snow, smooth and undisturbed. Ranma grinned. She did love a challenge during her morning runs.

This had become her morning ritual over the past few months. Up early, lap the town at least three times, stop and do her kata as a wind-down, then jog back home. Pretty light, to be honest.

Cold nipping at her chin, Ranma zipped the light jacket she wore over her red jogging suit during the cold weather.

She stretched her arms upward, lost in thought as she limbered up. A night in Lapis’s apartment, just the two of them. The warm blanket nest. A painting. A kimono. Sweet, soft words of affirmation whispered in her ear.

Grinning, she lightly hopped from one foot to the other, preparing to set out.

Then:

“Room for one more?”

Ranma stopped, looking upward at the familiar voice with a smile.

Lapis descended from above, her usual Appearance Modifiers replaced with a light blue jogging suit and sneakers.

“This is different! Don’t you like to sleep in when it’s cold, Blue?”

Landing lightly, Lapis shrugged. “I mean, yeah, but I also like doin’ stuff with you. I’ve… actually been wanting to get more active with you for a while.”

Ranma smiled. “I know you said you were kinda leery about doing my kata, since you’ve got… you know.”

Lapis nodded. “Anger issues. Yeah. I feel like I’ll lose control and hurt you.”

“You could never hurt me.”

Lapis looked into Ranma’s eyes, saw the love and trust there, and knew that she meant it. “Maybe… ease me into the kata? I could give it another shot?”

Ranma nodded enthusiastically. “Sure! I can do that! And maybe…?”

Lapis clutched Ranma’s hand. “I’m not saying I’ll definitely be okay with learning the Art… but with a teacher like you… I think I might be one day.”

Ranma squeezed Lapis’s hand back. “I’d like that, Lapis.”

With a mischievous wink, Lapis turned and started running for the exit to Little Homeworld. “C’mon, race ya!”

Ranma called after her. “What did I say about warming up?!”

“I’m a Gem! I’ll survive! Come on, let’s go!”

Ranma chuckled, shaking her head. “Rookie mistake. She’s gonna regret that.”

Still chuckling, Ranma started to jog after her, quickly catching up with Lapis. The two ran silently by each other’s sides, snow crunching under their shoes, breaths fogging around them, as they headed into the still-asleep town.

Chapter Text

Four Months Later

April

Two Days Before Beach City Pride

Little Homeworld

Outside the Gem Gym

This really is a lovely town, Lapis mused, inhaling the salty air blowing off the ocean deeply. She tucked her hands behind her head, lounging back in the comfortable deck chair, eyes closed behind her sunglasses as the warm sun shone down. Tucked under the chair, her phone was open to TubeTube, playing a medley of Calypso music to really fit the mood. From the Gem Gym, just in front of her, the slightly muffled sounds of walls rumbling, shouts of exertion, and a cracking whip. Perhaps the occasional tiny explosion.

“Ahhhh… this is the life.”

From her left, Peridot glanced up from her tablet, cross-legged atop a large plastic cooler. “You do know you don’t have to tan, right?”

Lapis shrugged. “Feels good. Makes my pores feel all tingly.”

“I’m not entirely certain that Gems even have pores.”

“You hush.”

Behind her, the sound of the Warp Pad lighting up. A familiar click-clack of flip-flops. “G’morning, Lapis! Morning, Peridot!” Came Steven’s wonderful, welcome voice. He had wrapped the sleeves of his pink jacket around his waist, allowing his upper arms to enjoy some sun.

Grinning, Lapis slid her sunglasses off of her nose. “Hey, buddy!” She wrapped Steven in a hug from her spot on the deck chair, ruffling her fingers through his dark curls.

From inside the Gem Gym, a voice shouted “MOKO TAKABISHA!!!” There was the sound of a massive energy blast as the windows at the top of the walls lit up brightly for several seconds. As the light died down, the sounds of fighting continued from within.

Lapis glanced to her left. “That’s another one. Peridot?”

Looking away from her tablet for only a moment, Peridot leaned forward and plucked a piece of chalk from the ground next to her. She added a tally mark to the 25 others scattered around her in groups of five. The mark having been made, she hopped down from the cooler, reached inside, and produced a pair of cold cans of lemonade.

“Steven, catch!”

Smiling, Steven gladly caught the two thrown drinks as Peridot resumed her spot atop the cooler. He passed one to Lapis, cracking his own open as he looked up at the Gem Gym.

Inside, there was the familiar high-pitched whine of a Quartz Spin attack kicking into gear, followed by the loud CLANGS of said attack ricocheting off several walls.

Attached to the front doors of the Gem Gym, a piece of paper held up by the world’s most valiant strip of scotch tape proclaimed “TEMPORARILY CLOSED DUE TO FRIENDLY BRAWL.”

Steven whistled. “Dang. They’re still goin’ at it, huh?”

Lapis nodded, sliding her sunglasses back on. “Sure are. Still haven’t let up.”

“How many days has it been? Six?”

From his right: “Seven, as of today.”

Steven turned, observing Bismuth on the same bench she’d been slouched on for the past three days. Chin in her hands, Bismuth glared at the Gem Gym with an anger that had long subsided into a tired resignation.

With a sound like the combination of Amethyst yelling and a large beast of burden bellowing, a distinctly buffalo-shaped dent suddenly sprung outward in the wall above the gym door. A pair of very purple horns stuck out through the brickwork, before withdrawing back into the fight.

Steven winced. “Hoo boy.” He plopped down on the bench next to the blacksmith, giving her a gentle pity-pat on the back. “You’re, ah, still mad, huh?”

Bismuth gave him a deadpan look. “I asked Peridot to run some calculations for how long it’ll take to fix the damages those two knuckleheads are racking up in there.” Bismuth raised her voice, calling over to Peridot. “What did you say the result was?”

Peridot held up her tablet in one hand, open to a calculator app. “The calculator laughed at me, that’s what the result was.”

From within the gym: “FIST OF THE WEAPONIZED FIRE EXTINGUISHER!” CLONG. CLONG. CLONG. CLONG.

Bismuth, audibly gritting her teeth, slowly sat upright, massaging her temples with her fingers. “I am calm… I am relaxed… Woosah… Woosah…”

Lapis eased herself up from her suntanning session, holding her still-closed can of lemonade. She sauntered leisurely over to Bismuth, pressing the cold can to the back of her neck. “Cheer up, Bismuth. At least you’ll be able to rebuild the gym even better than it was before.”

“Not. Helping.”

Snickering to herself, Peridot waved Steven over. “So, Steven! Pride is just a couple of days away. Any plans for this year?”

Grinning broadly, Steven flashed a thumbs-up. “Sure are! Sheena’s actually gonna be coming over later to help me with a Thing. Plus, here’s something cool! Connie’s long-distance girlfriend is gonna be coming on a bus! They get to meet face-to-face for the first time!”

Lapis smiled as she eased back into her deck chair. “That’s cool! I’ve been wanting to meet this long-distance girlfriend of hers I keep hearing about. If she’s been able to impress Connie Maheswaran, Defender Of Earth, then that’s someone I gotta meet!”

Steven nodded. “I’ve talked to her a few times over video calls. She’s super cool! And she gave me permission to let you guys know, she’s nonbinary and her pronouns are she/they.”

Lapis nodded, pumping a fist. “Rock on. Actually, what’s their name? I don’t think either of you have told me.”

“Oh! Sorry, her name is-“

Peridot raised a finger. “Hold that thought, Steven. Has it gotten quieter in there all of a sudden?”

All present paused, listening. Indeed, the ruckus inside the Gem Gym had finally died down, for the first time in a week. The sound of debris settling rattled the walls.

Steven squinted his eyes, trying to peer through the frosted glass from several feet away. “Should we go check on them?”

As if on cue, the doors to the gym burst open outward. Their arms around each other, Ranma and Amethyst came staggering into the sunlight, both howling with laughter. Both were covered in bruises, clothes torn, hair frazzled in every direction.

Bismuth immediately rose from her spot on the bench, hustling quickly past the two and into the entrance of the ruined gym. Hands on her head, she shrieked in horror. “MY GYM! MY BEAUTIFUL GYM!!!”

Still cackling like a hyena, Amethyst hugged Ranma closer to her. “Oh my gosh, Ranma! I haven’t had that much fun in a fight in… HA, ever!”

Giggling giddily, Ranma hugged Amethyst back just as tightly. “I’ve never been able to just let loose with all my skills in a for-fun match! Amethyst, you are so freaking cool!”

Smirking, Lapis rose from her deck chair once more. “Looks like you two had a ball.”

Catching her girlfriend’s eye, Ranma nodded enthusiastically. “Oh man, Lapis, it was so fun!”

Angel Aura Quartz’s familiar rumble of a laugh signaled her arrival to the scene. She looked over the two with a fanged grin. “I think that’s the first Quartz Fight Club match to keep going after the usual end time, much less for a full week. Who won?”

Amethyst snapped her fingers into a finger-gun with a wink. “Wouldn’t you like to know, blondie!”

Chuckling at the two’s contagious enthusiasm, Steven raised an inquisitive finger. “How the heck have you guys not collapsed yet?”

Ranma and Amethyst blinked, looked each other in the eye, blinked once more, and then proceeded to almost melt onto the pavement.

Ranma lay on her back, her arms and legs splayed wide. Amethyst plopped forward, lying on her front, her face pressed against the ground. “Shteven… call Connie… tell her to come here and poof me. Just for a while.”

Peridot sat down astride Amethyst’s back, and began to massage and knead her shoulders. Amethyst moaned at the sensation. “Aw, Peri… you’re an angel…”

Lapis crouched down, smiling, and leaned down to kiss her girlfriend on the lips for the first time in a week. “Missed ya.”

Ranma chuckled exhaustedly. “Missed ya too, Lapis.”

“Are you gonna let Steven use his spit on you this time?” Lapis queried, surveying Ranma’s impressive collection of bruises.

Ranma shook her head, still grinning. “Not a chance. Healing up from this is gonna hurt so good.”

“Are you gonna be able to get up to the apartment so you can rest up?”

Ranma nodded. “Oh yeah, sure.” She tensed her hands, preparing herself. “Se, no…”

Ranma’s heroic effort to spring to her feet was cut short by a sudden sound of a slide whistle as her legs gave out on her, causing her to SMACK into the ground face-first, her thumb, index, and pinky fingers extended. “BLERGLE!”

Lapis, having not moved from her crouch at Ranma’s side, sighed dramatically, before easing one arm under Ranma’s collapsed form. With a single grunt, she rose to her feet, Ranma’s limp form held over one muscular shoulder. “I’m gonna go take this one home so she can collapse for a week.”

Ranma rose a single finger. “Not true. This is a 3-day rest-up at most.”

Steven offered a wave in the middle of his helping Peridot haul Amethyst to her feet. “See ya later, Lapis!”

Peridot waved as well with her free hand. “I’ll be home later, Lapis! See you guys then!”

As the two groups went their separate ways, Angel Aura sidled uncomfortably behind Bismuth, who was glaring into the wrecked gym, fists clenched. A metal air vent fell to the floor with a loud clatter.

“So, uh… when do you think this place’ll be fixed up?”

Bismuth gave her a vicious glare with the strength of a solar flare. “Die. Die right now. Die, and on the third day rise again, so you may die once more.”

Chuckling, Lapis strode evenly into the Barn’s lobby, her girlfriend sprawled over her shoulder.

“Aren’t you supposed to carry a poor damsel like moi in both arms, in front of you?” Ranma snarked.

“Are you telling me you aren’t enjoying the view you’re currently getting?” Lapis dryly remarked back, adding a sashay into her step as she entered the waiting elevator.

Ranma hummed thoughtfully, looking down at Lapis’s beautiful Gem and her delightfully muscular, exposed back. “Got me there, Blue.” She lazily traced one finger over the Gem’s sculpted back muscles.

Lapis giggled at the ticklish sensation, pressing her cheek into Ranma’s hips, held atop Lapis’s shoulder. “I know I’m having fun with this.”

Lapis gave the button for their floor an agile hip bump, and the elevator began to hum its way upward.

Ranma giggled, awkwardly pressing her own upside-down cheek against Lapis’s back. “Were you really waiting for me out there all week?”

“Sure was. I’m a Gem, you develop patience when you’re a few thousand years old.”

“Yeah, I know, it’s just…” Ranma hummed softly, feeling the gentle caress of sleep begin to prickle at the edges of her consciousness. “That means a lot to me, Blue. Thank you.”

The elevator doors dinged as they reached their floor. Lapis smiled. “Love you, Ranma.”

“Love you, Lapis. I missed you all week.”

“Me too.”

Lapis’s Gem glowed blue as she approached the door to the apartment/studio. The lock hummed, and she nudged the door open. Pausing just inside, she used her free hand to slide Ranma’s shoes off, letting them clunk roughly to the ground. She slid her own sandals off as well, as had become the custom these days, feeling the cool hard floor of the studio under her feet.

In the past four months, the studio-living room space had seen some changes. On the far right, in the corner, a decently sized home gym and dojo was set up on a rubber mat. A punching bag hung from a chain, along with a bench and a selection of weights.

On the stretch of wall between the doors to the bathroom and Peridot’s Evil Lab/Bedroom, the Trans flag that had been hung up for Candlenights had been moved and hung, next to an orange and pink Lesbian flag.

The apartment’s kitchen, which had rarely been used by Lapis and Peridot, was now filled with various foods and ingredients, for when their new roommate felt like cooking.

On the sculpture podium in the center, a plush cushion now sat to the side, where Ranma would occasionally sit and join Lapis as she worked, just to enjoy each other’s company. As she passed the podium, Lapis ran a finger over the red Chinese shirt, hung over the back of her easel’s chair.

The DVD shelf next to the Couch With The Good Texture now had an expanded collection of cheap kung-fu films and anime, that had been contributed to the shelf with Peridot’s approval.

A blanket, red fleece, had been tossed over the back of the Couch, where it was shared on quiet evenings.

Also, a string of fairy lights had been hung up around the ceiling. That one had nothing to do with Ranma, it had been Peridot’s idea, but it was nice.

Carefully adjusting her grip, Lapis began the climb up the stairs to the loft bedroom, which she now shared on a permanent basis. She nudged the curtain aside with her spare hand, allowing it to fall closed behind them.

In her and Ranma’s bedroom, a large bed poked out into the center, an impossibly comfortable thing that one could easily get addicted to. The carpet, plush enough to lose your feet in, rustled under her as Lapis gently plopped Ranma onto the mattress.

Ranma, already half-asleep from exhaustion, feebly groped one hand at the dresser. “Hang on… lemme change…”

Lapis shook her head as she lay down next to Ranma, pulling her close. “Mm-mmm. No. You sleep now. I haven’t cuddled you in a week, darn it.”

“ ‘m all sweaty n’ gross tho…”

Lapis nuzzled into Ranma’s shoulder. “Don’t care.”

Ranma laughed as she conceded defeat. She hugged Lapis close. “Mmmine.”

“Mine.”

“Yours.” They chorused.

Late That Afternoon

The Temple

Steven wrinkled his nose. “Holy Gosh, that stuff smells so bad.”

Sheena gave a sympathetic shrug, as she continued to work the ammonia-stinking slime into Steven’s dark hair with her gloved hands. “Yeah, this stuff’ll clear out a room. Trust me, though, you’re gonna look so good when we’re done.”

Sheena stepped carefully over the cheap towels she had laid out around Steven’s chair on the kitchen floor. “This color should last you about two, three weeks, or seven washes. However you want to space it out.”

Despite the acrid scent of the dye burrowing into his nose, Steven managed a smile. “Thank you so much for helping me with this, Sheena.”

“It’s no prob, my dude. I love doing this for people. Thank you for letting me help you with it.”

Satisfied at the coating over Steven’s hair, Sheena carefully removed her plastic gloves, discarding them into the trash can. “And with that, the hard part’s over. Let that sit for about an hour, then rinse.”

Steven flashed Sheena a thumbs-up as he stood, stretching his arms over his head, carefully avoiding touching his hair with his arms. “Y’wanna do anything while we wait?”

Sheena shrugged, setting a one-hour timer on her phone. “I’m good for just chilling if you want.”

“Sounds good.”

55 Minutes Later…

Time passed.

Steven and Sheena sat, idly relaxing on their respective phones.

Steven was just clicking around on a word game he was fond of, when the Warp Pad suddenly lit up brightly.

Garnet’s smooth voice called out. “Paging Doctor Universe.”

Steven glanced up. “Oh, hey Garnet! What’s-“ His eyes widened. “Hoo boy.”

Garnet, Pearl, and Bismuth had warped in together. Garnet was holding up Pearl, who looked like she were about to pass out. Her jacket appeared to have grown two sizes, and was slowly increasing in size on her lithe frame, growing like kudzu in a rainstorm. Though Garnet was as cool and collected as always, Bismuth was looking increasingly worried.

In the center of Pearl’s forehead, her Gem had a thin, jagged crack tracing through it.

All business now, Steven hustled over to the Warp Pad, followed by a concerned Sheena. “Tell me what happened.”

“They were helping me clean up the mess from this morning,” Bismuth contributed. “A big, heavy ceiling light fell, and clocked Pearl a good one.”

Sheena reached out, gently clutching Pearl’s cheeks. “Pearl? Baby, are you okay?”

Pearl looked Sheena in the eye, opened her mouth, and emitted an ear-piercing WAAARK, like the world’s loudest songbird. She immediately clapped her hands over her mouth, looking embarrassed.

Ears still ringing, Sheena looked to Steven. “Steven, you can fix this, right?”

Steven nodded. “’Scuse me, Sheena…” He slid in front of her, facing Pearl. “Ready, Pearl?”

“Wark.” Pearl warbled softly, nodding. With a smile, Steven craned his head upward, kissing Pearl softly on the gem.

Within seconds, Pearl’s gem lit up, the cracks unwriting themselves until the surface of the gem was smooth again. Pearl’s shifted jacket glowed as well, shifting smaller and smaller until it was the immaculately fitted size that Pearl preferred. Bismuth leaned against the wall, sighing with relief.

Pearl hummed, testing her voice. “Testing, testing. She sells seashells by the seashore.” Her face brightened. “Perfect! Thank you, Steven!” She wrapped her son in a tight hug, giving him a kiss on the cheek, carefully avoiding his dye-coated hair. With a smile, “Sorry to interrupt your salon session, you two.”

Sheena instantly wrapped Pearl in an enormous hug. “Don’t you worry about that. I’m just glad you’re okay.”

Garnet squeezed Steven’s shoulder with a smile. “Nicely done, Doctor Universe.”

A shrill beeping noise suddenly pinged through the living room. Sheena’s phone, left on the couch, had reached the end of its one-hour timer.

Sheena flashed Steven a wink. “Alright, time’s up. Go ahead and rise that gick out of your hair, and we’ll see how it looks.”

Steven flashed a thumbs-up. “Gotcha! Give me just a minute.” With that, not yet knowing of the significance of what had just happened, Steven headed into the bathroom.

A few minutes later, Steven grunted, his hand on his knee as he got to his feet, shutting the bathtub faucet off below him. Using one of the Junk Towels from the cabinet, he toweled himself off, eyes still closed. He didn’t want to spoil any of this for himself before he could look at it in the mirror properly.

Eyes closed, he sat on the toilet lid, fumbled for the hair dryer until he felt his hand close around it, and clicked it on. He angled it around his head in various directions, feeling the hot air blast his scalp, making him itch briefly.

Hoo boy. This is it. You’re either gonna love it or instantly want to shave your head. If I see Diamond pupils, I may do that anyway. Ai-yi-yi. Was this a bad idea? Probably. Too late to back out now, though. At least I’ll know. Okay. Here we go.

With one last deep breath, Steven sat the hair dryer down, stood, and looked into the mirror.

There he was.

He and no one else.

His curls weren’t nearly as voluminous as Rose’s had been, but the spirals of pink that now twirled around his mop were downright beautiful.

Pink was his favorite color. Always had been (barring a two-week period when he was eight when he decided his new favorite color was teal, but that hadn’t lasted). Throughout the years, even through Diamond revelations and truth after ugly truth about Rose Quartz, his love of pink had always persisted.

He’d always wanted to try dyeing his hair pink, but one reason or another had always gotten in the way. Fear that he couldn’t measure up to Rose. Fear that they might make him try to anyway. Dread that he might anyway. Spite. Fear. Anger.

And now, only now, Steven had finally gotten the courage and will to bite the bullet and actually do it.

It was perfect.

He loved it.

Giggles bubbled out of him in a fountain of relief, as a few more layers of stresses faded away and disappeared into the abyss.

He pushed the bathroom door open, revealed his new be-pinked hair to everyone present, who had collectively moved to the couch while they waited. He gently fluffed his curls with one hand. “What do you think?”

As Garnet golf-clapped politely, Pearl rose from her seat with an eager squeak. “You look so pretty, Steven!” She carefully thumbed through his hair, eliciting a giggle from Steven as she flashed a smile in Sheena’s direction. “Phenomenal work, darling!”

Even Bismuth, whose reaction Steven had been most worried about, was clearly impressed by it. “That look really suits you, Steven! Nice choice!”

Sheena raised an inquisitive hand. “Did you still want to maybe add the undercut, like we talked about?”

Steven shrugged, running a finger through his hair. “Maybe. Still not sure. Let me give this a test run, and I’ll get back to you in a day or so.”

Sheena flashed a thumbs-up. “Roger Dodger.”

Steven turned, heading for the Temple doors. “I’m gonna go show Amethyst!”

Pearl paused. “Actually, where is Amethyst?”

Steven’s Gem glowed under his shirt as the Temple doors opened. “Conked out in her room with Peridot. We brought her back here to rest up after her fight-a-thon with Ranma.”

Bismuth rose from her seat as Steven stepped into the Temple. “Tell that purple lil’ travesty I know where she lives! Those two darn well better help me rebuild that Gym.”

Steven chuckled, nodding as the Temple doors slid shut behind him.

9:47 p.m.

Steven’s bedroom

The buttons on Steven’s phone screen clicked softly as he texted. The covers were pulled to his stomach, head propped up by an extra pillow, as he idled away the last few minutes until sleep took him.

From: Steven

You’re sure it looks okay?

From: Connie!

I promise it does! You look super pretty!

From: Steven

Okay, good. I really like it.

From: Steven

Any word on when yer gf gets here?

From: Connie!

Her bus will arrive in Empire City early morning on Pride Day. Then she’s gonna take another bus to Beach City, and we’re gonna meet at Pride.

From: Steven

That’s so cool! I love that you finally get to meet!

From: Connie!

I can’t wait <3 <3 <3

From: Steven

You two are so adorable.

From: Connie!

You hush :P

From: Connie!

Alright, Im about to pass out

From: Steven

I can tell. Your text grammar gets worse and worse every time.

From: Connie

True tru true okay gonna go to bed nowww nighhxxxbbbbbbb

Steven chuckled to himself, screencapping the conversation for future teasing purposes. He nestled his wonderfully, wonderfully pink hair against his pillow, relishing in the feeling.

Just one last thing to check up on.

He opened another text conversation, tapping out another message.

From: Steven

How’s Ranma doing?

From: Beach Summer Fun Buddy

Yo, dude. Doing good. Still sleepin.

From: Beach Summer Fun Buddy

(Image Attached)

Steven thumbed the attachment, loading the image. It was a selfie- Lapis, flashing a wink and a raspberry to the camera, snuggled up against a sleeping Ranma, who going by how wide her mouth was, appeared to be doing an impression of logs being sawed.

From: Steven

Lol I can tell you guys missed each other.

From: Beach Summer Fun Buddy

Yeppers. I did get her out of bed earlier so she could eat something and shower.

From: Beach Summer Fun Buddy

She still hates them cold showers. Woke her right up, tho. Then she went right back to sleep again mid clothes-change.

From: Steven

Oof oof. That sucks.

From: Steven

Glad she’s doing okay tho.

From: Steven

K I’m tired now, gonna go nite-nite

From: Beach Summer Fun Buddy

Night buddy

Steven clicked the screen off, plugging his phone in to the charger dock on his nightstand. He pulled the covers further up his form, lying in bed, arms splayed to each side.

Ranma. What a year it had been for her. And he was so happy for her… but her still felt bad for her.

Having to spend your whole life walking on eggshells, constantly afraid you’ll come in contact with the wrong temperature water? It was hard to imagine. Steven certainly couldn’t. He still thought the whole thing was a fascinating concept, being able to swap bodies more or less at will, but not if one of them was actively painful or terrible to be in.

Steven had certainly struggled with dysmorphia. It came with the territory of spending several years being constantly equated, by yourself and others, to your mom. Both versions of her.

That was in the past these days. He had walked though that Hell and come out singing, filled with a greater self-love than ever before.

And he could tell Ranma had, too. She seemed so much happier, open, joyful than she was just a few months ago.

Still. He wished he knew a way to help her.

Steven gave one last troubled sigh as he turned onto his side. He was asleep within seconds.

Early the Next Morning

Sheena Miyuki-Marquez’s House

One Day Before Pride

Stretching her arms high, humming satisfyingly as her back popped, Sheena slid out of bed. She slid her worn old bathrobe over her arms as she glanced back at the bed, smiling fondly.

Sprawled atop the California King sized bed she had made the wise decision to invest in was Jasper, snoring loudly. Curled up on top of her knees, breathing softly, was the pink puffball that Volleyball spent so much time as these days.

Sheena chuckled softly. The two of them had honestly adapted to the whole Sheep Curse thing quite well. Jasper would never admit it, but she very clearly enjoyed her time in sheep mode, having the excuse to indulge her subbier side. Volleyball, meanwhile, would go days in sheep mode, apparently barely noticing the difference. Her life had changed approximately 0% from the curse.

There was only one who hadn’t been able to find much enjoyment in their newfound fluffiness, and she was conspicuously missing from the bed.

Sheena paused as she opened the bedroom door, easing it back and forth, open and closed. The hinges no longer creaked.

Hoo boy. It’s one of those nights.

Sheena stepped across the hall into the bathroom, and stopped in the doorway, bemused.

A long pair of legs ending in a pair of flats stretched out from the open cabinet under the sink. From within, the sound of various clicks and clinks could be heard.

Smiling, Sheena leaned down, peering into the cabinet. “Morning, babe.”

Wrench in hand, Pearl paused in the middle of adjusting the attachment on the sink’s U-Bend. “Good morning, Sheena! Don’t mind me, just making some adjustments.

Chuckling, Sheena sat cross-legged on the floor, her back to the wall. “I see you had one of your cleaning-spree nights, huh?”

Pearl shrugged sheepishly as she tapped at the pipe with one finger. “I’m afraid so. After that whole debacle yesterday with my Gem getting cracked, I was too restless to fall asleep. So I decided to make some repairs around the house, including this leaky pipe down here. Apologies for not asking permission, I didn’t want to wake you.”

Sheena grinned, squeezing Pearl’s foot softly. “It’s okay. Thanks for fixing that creaky door.”

“Of course! T’was quite a task, fixing that loud door without waking anyone, but I am a determined Pearl at heart.”

“Just be careful down there, doing stuff with the sink. I know you’re not really a fan of getting wet these days.”

Pearl rolled her eyes. “Ugh, don’t remind me. I’ve had quite enough of being a sheep, after that incident with the corn syrup in February.”

Sheena winced sympathetically. “Yeah… that sucked.”

“Being covered in sticky wool should be listed as a corporal punishment and outlawed, and you may quote me on that.” Pearl gave a final nod as she gave the pipe attachment one last tighten. “Alright, we’re looking good! Sheena, can you be a dear and turn on the faucet, so we can test it out?”

Sheena hauled herself to her feet with a smile and a salute. “You’re the boss, Pearl.”

What happened next happened very quickly.

Sheena reached forward, wrapping her hand around the cold knob on the faucet.

Pearl attempted to adjust her position within the cabinet to something more comfortable. As she rose, her shoulder collided painfully with the handle of the pipe wrench that was still wrapped around the pipe.

Sheena pulled the handle forward.

The pipe wrench rattled and fell to the floor of the cabinet, the U-bend coming loose.

Sheena jumped backward as cold water sprayed her bare ankles, the sounds of Pearl’s angry sputtering coming from within as water drenched the inside of the cabinet. Sheena quickly darted forward, turning the handle back to off.

“Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh, Pearl, I’m so sorr-“ Sheena abruptly cut off as she knelt down, seeing what was inside the cabinet.

A thoroughly drenched Pearl wiped water from her eyes with her hands. “Confound it! I spent forty minutes on this pipe, and this is the repair job I have to show for it?! I must have Clod written across my Gem!”

Sheena’s jaw dropped. “Pearl.”

Pearl froze, realizing exactly what had just happened. She stared, wide-eyed, down her dripping, decidedly non-sheep form. She slowly ran her palms down her face. “Testing. Testing. The sheep says Baa.”

She looked out of the cabinet at her girlfriend, neither daring to move. “I’m not a sheep.”

Sheena shook her head. “No. You aren’t.”

Pearl suddenly began to struggle out from under the cabinet. “Quick, splash me again-“

Another stream of cold water spurted from the broken sink pipe again, Sheena allowing the flow for only a few seconds before turning the faucet back off.

Pearl, now twice-drenched, sat on her butt, soaking wet and not caring one bit.

“Sheena. Sheena, I’m not a sheep.” Pearl began to giggle, not-quite-hysterical laughs bubbling out. “I’m not a sheep. I’m not a sheep. I’m wet and I’m not a sheep!!!”

Sheena thrust her hand out to grab Pearl’s, hauling her to her feet before lifting her into a tight, spinning hug, the two laughing with relief.

Sheena shook her head as she set Pearl down. “How?! Why?!”

Pearl’s mind was racing. “I-I have no idea! We haven’t had access to any of the curse cures Ranma mentioned.”

“Did it wear off or something?”

Both Sheena and Pearl froze where they were, looking into each other’s eyes.

Jasper scratched her stomach in her sleep, mumbling softly. “No, Yellow Diamond, you walk the plank… think you’re so... mblmmm…”

Her dream was suddenly cut short by Sheena’s loud voice. “JASPERWAKEUP!!!”

Jasper sat bolt upright on the bed, bleary-eyed. “Hmmm? Sheena, whuzzit-“

The ever-so-gentle caress of approximately a gallon of cold water snapped her into full wakefulness.

Sheena and Pearl stood by the bed, staring down at Jasper. Pearl, soaking wet, was holding a large bowl from the kitchen, which was dripping water onto the carpet.

On the bed, a very large, very angry orange-cream colored sheep glared daggers back at them.

At the foot of the bed, Sheep-Volleyball popped her eye open. “Baa?” She asked softly.

Pearl offered an awkward smile. “I. Would like to start. By saying that mistakes were made…”

Sheep-Jasper took a deep, deep breath, her wool spiking on her back like an angry dog. Sheena preemptively plugged her ears with her pinkies.

A few seconds later, the newly-fixed door was blown off its hinges by the sonic force of the enraged BAA that echoed across the countryside.

Two Hours Later

The Beach House

Steven, still clad in his pajamas, sat cross-legged on the couch, eyebrows raised. “What do you mean you aren’t cursed anymore?”

For the dozenth time that day, Pearl upended a cup of cold water over her head. There was still no change. “See?!” Sheena handed her a towel, motioning wildly between her and Steven with her other hand.

Volleyball lounged on the end of the couch in Gem form, her bell-bottomed legs crossed demurely before her. “Steven, all I know is that Jasper and I woke up, and Pearl wasn’t cursed anymore. We still are, though.”

Sheena and Pearl winced in unison. “And then we… may have gotten a little ahead of ourselves.” The two turned their gazes to Jasper, sitting on the other end of the couch, arms crossed, eyebrow lethally raised. “Jasper, sweetie, we’re so sorry-“

Jasper raised a single hand. “This is not the time for Cute Lil Subby Jasper talk. I’m still mad at you two.”

Pearl shook her head. “We weren’t going to do the Subby Talk, dear.”

“Much.” Sheena smirked. Pearl roughly elbowed her side.

Steven hummed contemplatively, his be-pinked hair still mussed from sleep. “This is awesome, don’t get me wrong, but it’s weird that it would come out of nowhere like this. Pearl, walk me through what’s happened between the last time you sheeped out, and this morning. What did you do that was unusual?”

Pearl sighed, sitting down on the edge of the coffee table. “Honestly, Steven, nothing comes to mind. I’ve been running over the past few days in my head all morning, and I can’t place anything.”

Jasper raised a finger. “Now, hang on. Didn’t your Gem get cracked yesterday?”

“Yes, but that’s nothing new. I’ve been cracked before, and it’s never affected my shapeshifting.”

“Maybe, but this isn’t shapeshifting, remember? This is an ancient curse.” Jasper’s voice rumbled as she explained, glancing between Pearl, Volleyball, Sheena, and Steven.

Pearl hummed. “Even then, I don’t see what one could have with the other. I got cracked, my voice destabilized for a while, and then…” Pearl’s eyes widened as she trailed off. “And then… Steven… healed me.”

Pearl and Steven’s eyes met. Both their eyes were enormous. Volleyball could almost see the fireworks going off in their heads.

Steven lunged forward, pointing at Pearl. “DID I HEAL YOUR CURSE?!”

Pearl’s hands flew to the side of her head. “Of course! Your healing abilities can fix or stabilize any foreign problems! Greg’s leg, Connie’s astigmatism-“ She slapped her own torso for emphasis. “Steven, I think you healed my curse!”

Steven leapt to his feet, his face close to Pearl’s. The two hugged each other tightly, hopping in place, screeching with excitement.

A shrill whistle from Sheena broke the festivities. “Not to be a downer here, but I don’t think it’s cured, so to speak. Pearl, remember what happened under the sink? That whole bit with the pipe and you hitting the wrench?”

Steven blinked rapidfire, unsure of where Sheena was taking this. “Okay? So?”

“So, that’s exactly the kind of water-attracting garbo we’ve been dealing with for months! Weird coincidences, all tying together to cause water to splash all over you when it’s least convenient? Sound familiar?”

Pearl nodded a confused agreement. “That may be true, but I’m still not transforming anymore. So why is water still attracted to me?”

Steven took a step back. “That’s a good point. Maybe… I dunno, maybe this is a new stupid Gem power from Mom? It wouldn’t surprise me at this point.”

Volleyball raised a hand. “If I may? I think it’s more likely you’ve just stabilized her form. She still has the curse, but beyond getting wet at random intervals, it won’t affect her like it used to.”

Steven sat back down on the couch. “Huh. I’m not gonna lie, Volley, that seems like kind of a stretch. This isn’t Corruption, like me only being able to heal Centi halfway.”

Volleyball blinked. “Well, why not?”

The living room was silent. Steven, for the life of him, couldn’t think of a good rebuttal to that statement.

Okay. So. Apparently Corruption and Jusenkyo Curses are similar enough that I can stabilize them, if not cure them. I mean, it feels pretty close to a cure for me, but I guess being modelocked is a good second pla-

Steven froze mid-thought.

Oh my God.

As Pearl watched, an enormous smile slowly spread across Steven’s face, like a beam of sunlight… or hope.

“Steven? What’s happening?”

If I modelocked Pearl, then maybe I can do it again, and if I can do it again…

Steven suddenly bounced to his feet. “Sorrygottagobye!” He babbled as he sprinted full-tilt for the front porch, the screen door slamming shut behind him, leaving a thoroughly confused polycule in his wake.

Still barefoot, he stumbled down the porch stairs two-by-two toward the sand, fishing his phone from his pocket. He clicked it on, checking the time.

It was 8:30 a.m. He grinned.

Perfect! Lapis and Ranma should be finishing their morning run right now!

Beach City’s Boardwalk

 “ALL OF THE BIRDS DIED IN 1986 DUE TO PRESIDENT MONDALE KILLING THEM, AND REPLACING THEM WITH SPYBOTS. THE BIRDS WORK FOR THE BOURGEOSIE.”

On an overturned, half-crushed cardboard box halfway down the boardwalk, Ronaldo Fryman stood, a cheap plastic Dollar Store megaphone held in his hands, shouting to any passers-by who wouldn’t listen, which was all of them.

From his spot in the window of Beach Citywalk Fries, professional fry peddler Peedee shook his head, giving a long-suffering sigh. “Who gave him a megaphone?”

Outside the service window, Ranma chuckled as she munched on her croissant, spilling crumbs everywhere. “He’s not wrong. Kodachi once sicced a flock of trained attack toucans on me.”

On her left, Lapis snorted, a gigantic iced coffee from the Big Donut in hand. “Don’t encourage him.”

Peedee nodded his assent. “Still not the most annoying thing he does these days. He keeps posting old pics of Gem Corruptions and claiming they’re new Cryptids.”

Ranma shook her head incredulously. “That nimrod is gonna get his shit pushed in one day.”

“The last time Steven told him that someone was a Gem, not a Cryptid, Ronaldo yelled and threw his phone in the fryer.”

Ranma gave him a look. “He did not.”

Holding her gaze, Peedee reached below the counter and fished out a small baggie containing what appeared to be a plastic rectangle, coated with a layer of potato fragments and grease. “Gives new meaning to Frying Your Phone, huh?”

Lapis immediately doubled over into a gigglesnort at the atrocious pun, as Ranma’s eyes rolled back into her head. Any attempt at a rebuttal, however, was interrupted.

“IIIIINCOMIIIIIING!”

Looking up, Ranma’s eyes widened as a pink-haired Steven came floating down out of the sky in his pajamas. His attempt to land into a run caused him to flub the landing, as he lost balance and tumbled over, bouncing lightly a few feet before stopping, lying on his side. “Ow.”

All present blinked in surprise. Ranma raised a hand. “Uh. Hiya, Steebs. Love your hair.”

Steven pushed himself halfway up, looking at her with huge eyes and a matching smile. “RANMA!” He stumbled to his bare feet, rushing over to her. He took a deep breath, trying to calm down and center himself. “Ranma, I need to try something. Do you trust me?”

Ranma blinked. “Uh. Yes?”

Steven took a long pause. He was being too loud, too overbearing. That had to stop right now.

“Ranma. What I want to try involves your curse. I think I might have a way to modelock you.”

The silence was palpable enough to cut with a knife. Ranma stared at him, uncomprehendingly. “I’m sorry do what now?”

Steven placed a single hand on her shoulder. “If I’m right, we’d have to test it with hot water. You know I wouldn’t ask this of you unless I was absolutely certain. I’m not gonna do it without your permission, though.”

Ranma couldn’t understand. Steven was trying to tell her he could modelock her curse in girl mode permanently, but that didn’t make sense because that wasn’t possible, and she had already consigned herself to dodging hot water for eternity, and if what he said was true, she wouldn’t have to do that anymore, and that wasn’t possible because she was Ranma Saotome, things this good didn’t happen to her, not this good, not even a wonderful, amazing, beautiful new life coming to pass could convince her of that, even from her friend the Heir Apparent to a Galactic Space Empire who won the freaking superpower lottery-

Lapis snapped her fingers in front of Ranma’s face. “Ranma? You okay?” Lapis’s own eyes were huge, she herself trying to reconcile what Steven had said.

Ranma, blinking rapidly, trying desperately to quash the rising hope in her chest, stuttered over her words. “Y-y-yeah, I just, there’s, there, Steven, y-y-you can’t-“

Steven squeezed her shoulder. “I think I can, Ranma. Do you trust me?”

Ranma didn’t have a word for the rising maelstrom of feelings rising within her. Joy, fear, hope, terror, determination, cowardice, all swirling together into a massive cloud of What If?

For just a flicker of a second, a great black mass slithered from the bottom of her consciousness, a darkly chuckling cloud of dysphoria that snickered and cackled with the voice of Happosai in the back of her head, mocking her for thinking that something that good could happen.

Then, something ignited within her.

With a spark and a fiery explosion, the dysphoric cloud was snuffed out in an instant by a new shape, incomprehensible, messy, and resplendent. It reached into every corner of her being, every crevice of her soul, set her heart pumping with determination, and screamed two words within her.

BE.

BRAVE.

Ranma eyes hardened, her free hand grabbing Steven’s, a familiar cocky grin decorating her face.

“I trust you, Steven. Let’s do this.”

Steven nodded back, his face just as determined. “Okay. Cool.”

Lapis, hardly daring to hope for Ranma, glanced back and forth between them, eagerness filling her face.

Peedee stared at the melodrama playing out before him. “Ho-kay, I’m completely lost.” He called over his shoulder as he closed the window. “Dad! I’m taking my fifteen!”

Ranma steadied herself for whatever was about to happen. “So, uh, do I need to like, say the magic words, or-“

Steven gently took Ranma’s hand in his own. He raised her hand to his mouth, offering a chaste kiss on the back of her hand. There was a quick flash of white sparkles, and the deed was done.

Ranma blinked, more confused than anything. “Uh. I’m super flattered, Steven, but I’m also taken. And, y’know, gay.”

Steven smiled. “And done.”

“Wuh.” Ranma sputtered. “Wait, that was it? I don’t feel any different.”

Lapis hummed, looking her over. “Weird. When Steven healed my Gem, I got all tingly? Maybe it’s a gem thing.”

“Wait, was that the healing spit?!” Ranma looked down, just in time to see the last of her remaining bruises fade from view. She slumped. “Aw, man! I was really lookin’ forward to that sweet, sweet healing ache!” She looked at Steven, confusion evident on her face. “Are you sure it worked?”

Steven paused. This was the part he’d been dreading. “We won’t know until we try.”

Ranma stopped in her tracks, turning her head to look behind her.

Tucked in the alley behind Beach Citywalk Fries and Fish Stew Pizza was the Boardwalk’s surprisingly clean public bathroom. Behind that closed door, a working toilet and sink.

With hot and cold water.

Her croissant abandoned on the Fry shop’s counter, Ranma stared transfixed at the bathroom door.

She took a single, tentative step toward it.

Then another.

Then, Ranma broke into a sprint, running for the bathroom door with a desperate hope.

She reached the door in a heartbeat, flung it open and entered. It was unoccupied, or that would have been an awkward wait.

The tiny bathroom’s sink was right in front of her. She grabbed the hot handle, and before she could give herself a chance to hesitate, pulled it forward and thrust her hands under the stream.

Warm water pooled in her cupped hands, and as she flung them up to meet her descending face, she had just enough time to glimpse her own form, red hair and blue eyes, reflected in the warm water rising to meet her.

Splash.

Ranma stood there, hands over face. Water still running in the sink. Spare droplets pittered on the bathroom tile floor.

Ranma could hardly bear to look. Cures for Jusenkyo curses, real and fake, had made their way into Ranma’s life before. That was nothing new. So worst case scenario, no change in the current situation, right?

Right?

Through the open door, Ranma a familiar voice.

“Ranma.” Lapis, her voice so soft, almost a whisper.

Ranma’s hands, trembling, crept downward, revealing the mirror.

Through the strands of red hair that hung down in front of her eyes, she saw her own face. Wide, blue eyes, set in a soft, round face.

There she was. There was she.

“I’m me.” She whispered, hardly daring to hope.

In the mirror, Lapis and Steven’s faces were reflected over her shoulder, both cramming into the open doorway of the bathroom. Lapis looked like she’d seen a ghost. Steven’s face had a small, happy smile inching across it.

The hot water was still running. Her hands darted downward, and she brought another handful up in a messy splash.

She was still short. Her hair was still red.

Another splash of hot water, even quicker and messier.

No change. Red hair, short, tank top increasingly drenched.

“I… I’m fixed. I’M FIXED!” She shouted at the mirror, the widest, happiest smile Lapis had ever seen Ranma smile blast across her face. Ranma spun, grabbing Lapis and Steven’s hands, happy tears leaking from the corners of her eyes as she hopped in place in excitement. “GUYS! GUYS! I’M FIXED! I CAN BE ME NOW!”

Lapis, unable to restrain her excitement for Ranma any longer, flung herself at her girlfriend, wrapping her arms around her tightly. “RANMA! I’M SOOOOOOOOO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!” Ranma, cackling deliriously, hugged Lapis back just as tight.

Steven, for his part, breathed a deep sigh of relief. He had been so afraid that it wouldn’t work, that he had gotten Ranma’s hopes up for nothing, but now… she was so happy, it had been worth it.

Laughing, Ranma released Lapis from the hug. “Oh my gosh, the freaking healing spit! I could have been cured this whole time!” She froze, blinking suddenly. “I COULD HAVE BEEN CURED THIS WHOLE TIME?!!?” She roared at the ceiling, an enlarged vein popping from her forehead.

She turned, grabbing Steven by the shoulders. “STEVEN! WHY DIDN’T YOU MAKE ME USE YOUR HEALING SPIT MONTHS AGO?!” She yelled at him, teeth made temporarily sharp by ki-induced rage.

Steven, taken aback by the sudden rage, felt his own impulsive anger bubble up from within, along with his own Gem canines become more prominent. “Wh-RANMA, YOU’RE THE ONE WHO WAS TOO STUBBORN TO LET ME HEAL YOUR STUPID WOUNDS!”

“GEE, I DUNNO STEBEN, MAYBE IT’S BECAUSE THE IDEA OF DRINKIN’ SOMEONE’S SPIT FILLS ME WITH A DISGUSTING FEELING DEEP IN MY SOUL!”

“JUST DRIP IT ON YOURSELF, DUMMY!”

“NOT MUCH BETTER, YOU DONUT!”

As the two hollered at each other, Lapis was doubled over against the bathroom wall, shaking with deep belly laughs at the ridiculousness of it all. Happy laughter tears floated away from her face in two different directions.

Ranma, overwhelmed by emotion, felt her anger dissipate just as quickly as it came. Unsure of what else to do, she lunged forward, nabbing Steven in an enormous bear hug. Steven gasped for air as Ranma squeezed him tight, lifting him several inches off the ground. He felt several bones crackle as she squeezed her own love and gratitude into him.

Eyes hot and wet, incredulous laughter shaking her, Ranma whispered. “Thank you, Steven. Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

Chapter Text

Lapis, Peridot, and Ranma’s Apartment

The Night Before Beach City Pride

The shower hissed as the bathroom fogged, hot water spraying down from the showerhead, trickling down, swirling into the drain.

Ranma was aware that her fingers and toes were beginning to get pruney, she had been in the shower so long. She didn’t care one bit.

It was her first hot shower in half a year, and the first one she could bear to open her eyes in in… well, ever.

She had started the shower, shivering gently from the cold air in the bathroom on her nude form, and waited for the water to get warm. She stood awkwardly outside the shower, letting the water run over her hand, waiting for it to get suitably comfortable.

Even though she had proved her lack of curse a dozen times today with a dozen splashes of hot water, she still stepped into the shower with trepidation. Her eyes were clenched tight as she felt warm water cover her like a blanket.

Eventually, she had found the strength to open her eyes, just a crack.

A pause.

A sigh of relief.

Ranma had never realized how good hot showers felt. She sighed, tilting her head back, letting the water spill down her face, soak into her hair.

She was cured.

She was modelocked. For good, this time. Her Deadmode was gone, and it was never, ever, ever coming back.

As she scrubbed, she imagined she could feel the last traces of it falling away. Every lingering insecurity, fear, and hang-up, washed away, trickling down her legs and over her feet, and down the drain, never to be seen again.

For the first time in her entire life, she felt like scrubbing had worked.

She sighed contently as she reached forward, her hand grasping the shower knob. She twisted it far to the right, the water flow slowly falling away as the shower grew silent.

Softly, almost dreamily, she stepped from the shower onto the bath mat, sliding the towel back and forth across her as she hummed quietly. She had been riding high all day, a joy that she felt certain might never leave her again.

Ranma fluffed her hair rapidly with the towel, her braid bouncing around manically. Satisfied, she hung the towel over the curtain rod, and slid on a pair of boxers and an oversized T-Shirt. As a final touch, she gently unfolded the kimono, orange and red and so incredibly soft, from the spot where she had set it on the counter.

Her arms slid into the big sleeves, wrapping it around her front with a smile. Tying the Obi into a simple knot at her front, she clutched the collar, rubbing the soft fabric against her face, the texture and scent filling her with even more warm fuzzies.

The living room/studio area of the apartment was empty, lit softly by the fairy lights Peridot had strung up. To the left, a light shone under the door to Peridot’s bedroom/Evil Lab, the sound of mechanical clicks and clinks intermingling with what sounded like a K-Pop/Dubstep blend.

Swaying gently, Ranma danced softly across the empty room, bobbing on her toes to no tune in particular. The low hem of the kimono flickered loosely around her ankles as she allowed the happy feelings filling her to manifest as they chose, as if she were walking on clouds.

A whispered song: “Ya-pa-pa, Ya-pa-pa, Ii Shan Ten, hashagu koi wa ike no koi…”

As she reached the stairs up to the loft bedroom, Ranma ran her fingers along the bannister, not thinking of anything at all, simply letting her feelings carry her.

She slid the curtain aside, easing into the bedroom with surprising grace. On the bed, Lapis looked up from the manga volume in her hands. She smiled, softly and appreciatively, as she looked Ranma up and down. “Hey there, beautiful.”

“Hey there, Blue.” Ranma eased herself onto the bed, lying in her stomach. She stretched luxuriously, yawning with a smile.

“Didja have a good shower?”

Ranma nodded. “Mmhmmmm. The best.”

Lapis set the manga on the nightstand as she eased closer to Ranma, wrapping her hand in her own.

“Pride’s tomorrow.”

Ranma snickered. “Sure is.”

“D’you know what you’re gonna wear?”

“Oh, you better believe it.”

Lapis smiled, easing closer to Ranma’s face. “What is it?”

Ranma smiled back as she rolled on her side, kissing Lapis softly. “It’s a seee-cret.” She answered, singsong.

Lapis stuck out her tongue. “Fine then, party pooper. Keep your secrets.”

Still smiling, Ranma rolled back onto her stomach, resting her chin on her folder arms. “Sit on me.”

With an indulgent smile, Lapis carefully lifted her own leg over Ranma, straddling the small of her back. Ranma sighed happily at the pressure as she nestled closer into the soft comfort of her kimono’s sleeves. “That feels so good, Lapis.”

Lapis’s fingers slowly traced along Ranma’s back and shoulders, up to the back of her neck. She toyed gently with Ranma’s braid, slipping it between her fingers, running her thumb down the layers.

As she reached the bottom, Lapis’s thumb ran over the end of Ranma’s braid. The Dragon Whisker was rough and coarse under her thumb. She ran her thumb over it, back and forth, for a few seconds before speaking.

“Hey, Ranma?”

“Hmm?” Ranma answered, almost dozing.

“If Steven fixed one curse, do you think maybe he fixed your other curse?”

Ranma’s eyes opened. She stared at the bed’s headboard, thinking long and hard.

“You’re talkin’ about the Dragon Whisker. My super-fast hair-growin’ thing.”

“Yeah.” Lapis nodded, squeezing Ranma’s braid gently for emphasis.

“Huh.” Ranma arched her back gently, cueing Lapis to ease her way off of her. Ranma twisted into a sitting position on the bed, her hand in Lapis’s.

“Y’know, a year ago, I’d have been too afraid to try it. I’d a’ been sure that nothing could ever change. That’s how things are in Nerima. But now…”

She flashed a nervous smile at Lapis. “After today? I think I’m willing to tackle anything.”

Lapis’s eyes brightened. “Is that a yes?”

“That’s a yes, Lapis.” Ranma slowly turned herself on the bed so her back was to Lapis. Her braid hung between her shoulder blades. “Just be sure to keep hold of that Dragon Whisker after you take it out. If my hair starts growin’ and you drop it, we’ll never find it again.”

Lapis slowly took Ranma’s braid between finger and thumb, sliding her thumb down it again. “Gotcha, Ranma. Whenever you’re ready.”

Ranma’s hands clenched in her lap, bunching the orange fabric of her kimono in her hands. She was aware of her heart pounding again, though perhaps not quite as hard or fearful as earlier today, standing in that bathroom with her hands over her eyes, too afraid to look.

“Okay. Go.”

Ranma felt her hair shift as Lapis pulled the Dragon Whisker out of her braid. Ranma’s eyes shut tight, waiting for that strange, rustling tingle in her scalp of her hair growing at visible speeds.

There was a long pause, far too long.

Then:

Careful fingers, slowly and gently working their way into the folds of her hair, unworking the now-unbound braid that her hair had been in for well over a decade.

Ranma gasped out loud at the sensations of fingers gently tracing over her scalp, straightening her bend hair, a knuckle occasionally brushing the back of her neck. She could her Lapis humming, softly, comfortingly.

“L-Lapis-“

“Shhhh.” Lapis gently placed a hand on Ranma’s shoulder. “Just keep enjoying it.”

Ranma’s breathing hitched in pleasure as she nodded. Lapis continued to gently stroke and toy with her hair. Ranma didn’t dare move, for fear of breaking the spell of the moment. She had never felt like this before, not once in her life.

She felt the bed shift as Lapis moved backward, felt Lapis’s hands, gentle but firm, on her shoulders, guiding her down, carefully pulling Ranma’s head into Lapis’s lap. She felt no pigtail under her neck for the first time that she could remember.

Ranma looked up at her girlfriend through moistening eyes as Lapis smiled lovingly down at her. “Are you comfy?”

Ranma nodded, her heart racing for a different reason now. “Yeah-huh.”

“Do you feel good?”

“Yeah-huh.”

“Do you want me to keep going?”

Ranma nodded rapidfire. “Please.”

Lapis smiled, and resumed stroking her fingers through Ranma’s hair, stimulating nerves in her scalp in a way they had rarely, if ever, been touched. Ranma moaned softly, sinking further into Lapis’s lap.

Lapis glanced Ranma over. Her bare feet, poking out the bottom of the kimono, her toes curling. Her strong, nimble hands, slowly descending to clutch each other over her stomach. Her red hair, loose and flowing, framing her face like a halo. Her beautiful face, so incredibly peaceful and happy.

As Ranma, impossibly relaxed, felt herself drifting off to blissful sleep in the lap of the person she trusted most in the world, she heard Lapis humming softly, with occasional words mixed in.

“Hmmm-hmm-hmmm…

Why so blue…

So many different reasons,

But are they really true…

Hmm-mm-mm,

I want to keep on going,

Wanna stay right here with you…”

Ranma began to snore softly in her lap. With a smile, Lapis eased her legs out from under Ranma’s head. She effortlessly lifted Ranma’s sleeping form in her built arms, placing her gently on the sheets, guiding the covers over her. Lapis reached over, clicked the lamp off, and eased into the bed, draping an arm over Ranma’s midsection. With one last whisper in the darkness:

“I love to see your colors…

Shining through…”

Within moments, the two of them were sleeping soundly.

A Bus Terminal in Empire City

Early the Next Morning

6:35 a.m.

Beach City Pride Day

In the wee hours of the morning, the number 9 Kronecker Bus from California pulled into the Empire City Bus Terminal.

Inside the bus, a bell rang as the bus pulled to a stop. The driver glanced up at her passengers in the mirror. “Last stop, Empire City. Everybody off, and thank you for riding with Kronecker Bus lines.”

As the passengers slowly filed out, one individual stretched her aching back with a series of clicks. She hated long road trips, but this one would be worth every mile.

She stepped out onto the concrete, resisting the urge to look up at the tall buildings and telegraph the fact that she was a tourist. She had never been this far East before, but she did have a certain standard she liked to uphold in her attitude.

Her heavy boots clacked on the concrete as she walked, adjusting her travel bag around her shoulder. It had been a long two days on that bus to get here, and she knew it would be a long two days back.

She fished her phone out of her pocket, glancing down at her lockscreen with a smile. A grinning picture of Connie Maheswaran, flashing a wink and a peace sign. The picture had apparently been taken by her QPP, Steven. He seemed super nice.

A fond smile spread across her face. They’d just have to make the three days she was down here be as amazing as possible.

A casual glance across the street stopped her in her tracks. Across the street, a local vendor was selling flowers.

She glanced at her phone’s clock. She still had about ten minutes before she had to catch her bus to Beach City.

With a grin, she quickly hustled across the street toward the vendor.

A few minutes later, she was stepping onto the number 45 bus to Beach City, a bouquet clutched in one hand, along with a cheap coffee from the co-op next to the flower stand. The stems were still dripping from the water the vendor had kept them in.

She settled into her seat, making herself comfortable for the last 3-hour leg of her journey. For the hundredth time in the past two days, she checked her travel bag.

Carefully folded on top, a slick suit coat rested atop the rest of her stuff. It may look weird over the green flannel of her shirt, but it would do. She knew Con would adore it.

The hydraulics hissed as the bus slowly began to roll out. She looked out the window with a smile, knowing the cold grey walls would soon way to green scenery and ocean views.

She couldn’t wait.

8:07 a.m.

The Beach House

“Sorry, run that by me again?” Steven asked, eyebrows skyrocketing up his forehead, an amused smirk snaking across his face.

Next to the kitchen table, Pearl and Sheena was clutching each other tightly as they giggled at the display in front of them. Amethyst, sitting atop the table, joined in with her warm, scratchy cackles. Garnet, ever-aloof, leaned casually against the counter, a smug smile on her face. Steven sat cross-legged on the floor, facing the couch.

In the center of the couch, Volleyball sat in her Gem form, one bell-bottomed leg crossed over the other. One hand gently stroked the wooly ear of Sheep-Jasper, who had buried her face in the crevice between the couch’s back and Volleyball’s poofy orange sweater.

“It’s very simple, Steven.” Volleyball answered. “Jasper and I would like to politely decline your offer to modelock our curses.”

Amethyst leaned forward, still giggling as she wiped a happy tear from one eye. “You okay back there, Sis?”

There was a deep, muffled Baa from between Volleyball’s back and the couch.

With a giggle, Volleyball gave Sheep-Jasper a reassuring squeeze. “The fact of the matter is, we both enjoy our curses too much to let them go. Jasper asked me to be the one to let you know. She’s too baa-a-a-ashful to admit that she likes being fluffy and cute just as much as I do.”

An irritated, but still muffled, Baa.

Steven chuckled as he stood up. “If you guys say so. As long as you’re okay with the whole random water factor.”

Volleyball nodded. “Jasper and I discussed that very thing last night, and we’ve concluded that it’s worth it. Sheep mode is, frankly, just too fun.”

Amethyst hopped off the table, a hand on Steven’s shoulder. “Man, Ranma’s gonna have kittens when she hears about this.”

Still laughing, Sheena and Pearl made their way toward the couch, their intertwined hands breaking their grasp as they split to either side of Jasper and Volleyball. They sat down, beaming at the embarrassed sheep. With a smile, Volleyball leaned forward, sitting elegantly on the floor in front of the couch as she exposed Sheep-Jasper’s face.

Pearl eased Jasper’s head into her lap. “That was very brave of you, my love, being able to admit vulnerabilities like this.”

Unable to meet her eyes, Sheep-Jasper deflated in her lap. “Baa.”

Sheena eased one hand under Sheep-Jasper’s stomach, clutched one hoof in her other hand as she hugged her girlfriend tightly, burying her face in her wool. “We’re so proud of you, hon. Don’t you ever think we aren’t.”

Sheep-Jasper, now visibly blushing, let out an even meeker “Baaaa,” as she curled further in on herself.

With an impish grin, Volleyball delivered the finishing blow. “You, and all your soft, pretty, beautiful orange creamsicle wool.”

Sheep-Jasper, unable to take it anymore, curled even further on herself until there was just a round, orange puff of wool between her three girlfriends. “Baaaa.”

As Jasper’s polycule laughed, Amethyst gently socked Steven in the arm. “Welp, all’s well that ends well. Imma go get ready for Pride!”

Steven grinned. “Me too. I’m gonna go dig through my closet, see what I feel like wearing.”

9:15 a.m.

“Hey, Blue! Wake up awready! We gotta get goin’!”

Lapis awoke at the sound of her girlfriend’s shouts from downstairs. With a smile, she languidly reached upward, her legs wiggling under the covers as she stretched.

“I’m up, I’m up!” She called out. “Are you downstairs?”

“Sure am! It’s about time to head out. Go ahead and shift some new clothes, and let’s go!”

Lapis chuckled as she slipped out of bed. With a quick flash of light, her monk pants vanished in favor of a simple pair of dark blue shorts. She dug around in the closet for the rainbow-flag T-Shirt she had picked up a month prior, slipping it on over her head, her arms through the sleeves as she trotted down the stairs to the living room/studio. She turned the corner at the bottom, facing the kitchenette by the front door. “G’mornin’, Ranma! You ready to- WOAH!” She yelled, as she froze in place.

The trash can lid clanked open as Ranma dropped a fistful of red hair into it. She grinned widely as she shook her now short, somewhat lopsided ‘do. “I am so ready, Lapis. Whaddaya think?” She queried, motioning to herself as she set the kitchen scissors on the counter.

Lapis tore her shocked gaze from Ranma’s hair, trailing down her body.

To put it lightly, Ranma had decked herself out. The green bikini set was the simplest thing about what she had chosen to wear. Over the bottom, just below the plush of her stomach, a rainbow-flag sarong was draped around her waist. Large, round bangles adorned her wrists, along with one ankle. The gigantic hoop earrings she had grown so fond of framed her face perfectly, and an assortment of rings were placed, one each, on her nimble fingers. Ranma held a second rainbow flag in her hands, examining it every which way. “What do you think? Is the rainbow flag cape too much?”

Lapis finally managed to sputter together a sentence. “Your hair! Ranma, you cut off your hair!”

Ranma gave an enormous grin. “Heck yeah, I did! I get to have short hair for the first time in like ten years, I am not about to let this go to waste!” She plopped the flag on the counter as she hurried over to Lapis, shaking her hair proudly. “And I was thinking, since I don’t haveta worry about hot water anymore, I can do so much more now! I could maybe get an undercut, that would be so neat! And Steven got me thinking about hair dye, so maybe I could get it dyed blue! We’d match, wouldn’t that be so neat? Or, or, or maybe I could just get some blue highlights, would that look better? I dunno, I’m just, I…” Ranma bounced excitedly on the balls of her feet as she eagerly listed off all the ideas she’d had.

Wide-eyed, a fond smile came across Lapis’s face, as she stared at Ranma with a kind of lovestruck awe. She smoothly wrapped her hands around Ranma’s waist and pulled her close, cutting off her excited ramble with a kiss. Ranma hummed softly as she kissed her girlfriend back.

As the kiss broke, Ranma smiled as she cocked her head. “What was that for?”

Lapis shook her head, still smiling as she gazed into Ranma’s blue eyes. She inched her hands upward, scratching the back of Ranma’s scalp gently, causing her to hum pleasurably and press her head into Lapis’s fingers. “Do I need a reason?”

Ranma shook her head as she gently smooched Lapis on her cute, upturned nose. “Never.” She motioned her head to the pride flag on the counter. “So? Pride cape, too much?”

Lapis gave a toothy grin and a gigglesnort. “I don’t think there’s such a thing as Too Much with Pride. We live in what’s probably the single most sapphic town in the universe.”

With a happy, incomprehensible squeak, Ranma bounded back to the counter, snatching the Pride cape up. She quickly tied it around her neck, striking a pose with her hands on her hips. “It is I, Super Gay.”

Slipping her sandals on, Lapis chuckled as she tossed Ranma hers. “You sure are, hon.”

Ranma caught her airborne sandals by the straps, giving Lapis another mischievous kiss on the nose. “Race ya to the Boardwalk!” She immediately bolted for the door, flinging it open as she sprinted into the hallway, still clutching her sandals.

Lapis charged through the door in hot pursuit, grinning manically. “No fair, ya sneak!”

Ranma laughed wildly as she sprinted down the stairwell two-by-two, her bare feet slapping against the hard floor. “Loser has to help the other put on face paint!!”

10:00 a.m.

The Bus Stop just outside Beach City

The bus bell rang as it pulled to a stop. She stood up, adjusting her travel bag against her, eager to disembark.

“BEACH CITY! END A’ THE LINE!” The bus driver yelled, far too loudly. Wincing, she thanks the bus driver as she stepped off, blinking in the bright sunlight off the water.

As the bus pulled away, heading back toward Empire City, she marveled at the sight before her. Beach City, a beautiful town surrounded by sea on three sides, nary a pine tree to be seen. Far below, in the distance, crowds already mingled along the Boardwalk, brightly colored smears of Pride flags wafting here and there.

She grinned as two people, one a human with red hair, one a Gem with blue hair and skin, came running out of the entry road to the local Gem housing area. The two were laughing as they ran together down the hill toward town.

She chuckled. “What’s better than Gals? Gals bein’ Pals!” She quoted, mimicking an old radio announcer.

Butterflies fluttered in her stomach. Today was the day. Now, only now, after months of texts and video calls and long-distance dates, she was about to meet the girl she was hopelessly, shamelessly crushing on.

I can’t wait. Holy gosh, I can’t wait.

With a grin, she straightened her travel bag, setting out down the hill toward town.

10:29 a.m.

The Boardwalk

Beach City Pride

Beach City Pride had finally begun. The Boardwalk was crammed full of citizens, decked in more rainbows and pride flags than you could count.

Sadie wrapped her arm around her partner, pulling them close, nuzzling her face against Shep’s shoulder. “This is my favorite time of year, Shep.”

Shep nodded with a smile, hugging Sadie back just as close. “Me too, Sadie. Me too.”

At their side, Bella the Doberman pressed her cold nose against Sadie’s hand, whining softly. Laughing, Sadie ruffled the old dog’s ears. “I know you like it too, girl.”

Steven’s flip-flops click-clacked on the Boardwalk as he jogged closer. “Sadie! Shep! Hey guys!”

Sadie’s eyes widened as she took Steven in. “Steven! I love your hair!”

Steven giggled as he fluffed his pink locks. “Thank you! Sheena did them for me!” In the summer sun, his normally subdued freckles had become far more pronounced, beautifully dotting his face, shoulders, back, and arms. He had opted for a skirt and crop top ensemble in the Pan colors, with a pair of Nonbinary flags sloppily painted on his cheeks. Draped over one arm was a huge asexual flag.

Shep fistbumped him with a smile. “How goes it, my fellow Nonbinary Pal?”

“It goes good! I just…” Steven smiled as he tried to find the words. “I feel good. I feel really good.”

Sadie nodded her assent. “I’ll agree to that! I feel like it’s been a big year, but Pride always makes me feel good Oh my Effing God guys look at Lars.” Steven and Shep followed Sadie’s gaze, their own jaws dropping at the sight.

General Lars Barriga, Commander of the Crystal Gems Spaceborne Division, was sauntering dramatically through the crowd, a confident smile on his face. He was wearing his Star Captain uniform, maroon turtleneck over white pants, the shirt positively coated with pins, like badges of valor. Over the ensemble, his cape, just barely skimming above the ground, long strands of color matching the Trans flag tracing along it. The absolutely stunning Captain of the Sun Incinerator made his way toward the edge of the crowd, where the Off-Colors, his people, waited eagerly for him. At their front, First Mate Spinel, clad in her ringmaster jacket, met him with a Fist-Bump that he reciprocated with a loud laugh.

Sadie shook her head in amazement. “I’m so proud of him, y’know? Just a few years ago, the Lars I knew would have rather crawled into the Big Donut’s dumpster and died than show his face anywhere near here, and now look at him.”

Steven nodded. “He’s really come into his own.” He glanced to their right, grinning widely. “And speaking of…”

“STEEEEEEEEEEEEVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNN!” Ranma yelled loudly as she came charging into view, Lapis right behind her. Ranma hopped into a glomp, hugging Steven tightly. Steven staggered under the sudden weight and impact, hugging her back. “Hi, Ranma! You look really good!”

Ranma pulled back, beaming widely. “All thanks to you, buddy!” She hugged Steven tightly again, Steven bracing himself as he heard and felt his bones make the crispy-crackly noises as Ranma squeezed. “You’re… welcome…” he wheezed. Ranma set him down on his feet, chuckling. “Sorry ‘bout that.”

Lapis giggled as she hugged Steven, far more gently. “Thank you so much for what you did, Steven. We both owe you our literal, actual lives at this point.”

Steven laughed as he hugged his Beach Summer Fun Buddy back. “Don’t worry about that, Lapis. I’m just so glad I was able to help.”

“We love ya, buddy.”

“I love you guys too.”

At their side, Ranma grinned as she suddenly wrapped Sadie and Shep in a hug, one arm around each of them. Between the two of them, Ranma smiled. “Thank you guys, so much.”

Sadie laughed as she hugged Ranma back. “Us? What the heck did we do?”

Ranma straightened up, releasing the two from her grasp. “You guys helped me when I needed a friend the most. Exactly one year ago, remember?”

Shep nodded, smiling. “Sure do! We couldn’t just leave you there, in the rain like that!”

Ranma nodded excitedly. “Exactly! I have no idea what could’a happened to me if you guys didn’t pick me up and take me to the one place I needed to go the most. So, from Ranma, she/her, to Sadie and Shep, she/her and they/them…” Ranma bowed deeply and respectfully. “Thank you both. So much.”

Sadie laughed awkwardly as she bowed back. “You know you don’t have to thank us, Ranma. We’re your friends.” Sadie straightened up, bringing both hands up to gently grasp the collection of bracelets on Ranma’s wrist. By the way, you look amazing!”

Ranma chuckled. “What can I say? I saw a hardware store, so I decided to wear it.”

Steven caught sight of Lapis, smiling fondly at Ranma, and gave an internal fist pump. The two of them had come so far in the past year, and Steven knew he could never express how proud he was of them.

Suddenly, from the right, a new voice: “Steven? Is that you, dude?”

As Steven and Lapis glanced toward the new voice, Lapis did a double-take. For just a second, she thought she was seeing double- the girl who had just arrived on the scene looked like she could be Ranma’s long-lost American sister. Red hair, trimmed short. Muscles, just barely hidden under a dark green flannel and a black suit coat, that suggested a very physical lifestyle. If it weren’t for the freckles that dotted her face and the extra few inches she had on Ranma, inches that clearly did not come from her bulky boots, the two could have been doppelgangers. A blue and white ball cap perched atop her head completed the look.

Steven’s eyes brightened as he saw her. “Oh, hey! You made it!” He lightly jogged over, grasping the newcomer’s hand in a tight handshake. “Good to finally meet you in person!”

The redhead laughed, her voice rough and gravelly. “You too, my guy. You seen Connie?”

“Not yet, but she should be here soon. I got here a little earlier than I thought I would.”

As Ranma rejoined Lapis at her side, her eyes grew large at her lookalike. “Wait, woah!”

The newcomer blinked in surprise. The two leaned forward, glancing each other over with wide eyes.

“Woah…” The newcomer whispered softly, eyeballing their identical haircuts.

“Weird…” Ranma mumbled, glancing between the matching dark green in their outfits.

The two straightened up, still looking each other over. Steven’s eyes pinballed back and forth between the two, suddenly realizing the similarities between them.

Ranma placed a hand on her hip as she glanced her over. “Huh. Y’know, my Pops told me once that everyone has a double somewhere, but I guess I didn’t believe ‘em.” She extended her other hand. “Good to meetcha! Ranma Saotome! Are you Connie’s girlfriend I keep hearin’ about?”

The newcomer stepped forward with a smile, capturing Ranma’s hand with her own, pumping it up and down firmly. “I sure am! Good to meet you too, my name is-“

Her name was drowned out by a familiar roar, a large, circular white portal rippling open on the beach below them. The group’s eyes were drawn as Lion came galloping onto the beach, in all his pink glory. Astride his back, eyes filled with laughter, was Connie Maheswaran, defender of Earth. A sleeveless crop top in the Nonbinary Colors wrapped her torso, two Bi flags neatly painted on her cheeks. Her dark hair rippled, shining, behind her. Her ornate sword was strapped to her back, the filigreed gold of the handle gleaming in the sunlight. Just to complete the look, a black, wide-brimmed hat with a flat top.

As his QPP dismounted Lion, Steven snuck a glance to his side at the newcomer. She stood there, on the Boardwalk, her eyes having grown enormous at Connie’s incredible entrance. A tiny trickle of drool slid from her mouth. “Crap… I was supposed to be the smooth one. I can’t compete with that.”

Connie glanced up at the group, her smile and greeting freezing on her face as she caught sight, at long last, of the face she’d only seen through a screen for the better part of a year.

Steven, Lapis, and Ranma all watched as the two stared at each other, both dumbstruck by the moment.

Connie stepped forward, refusing to take her eyes off the newcomer.

Her girlfriend let her travel bag slide off her shoulder, landing on the Boardwalk as she stepped down.

The two stopped directly in front of each other.

“H-Hey.” The tall redhead whispered, hardly daring to believe what was happening.

“Hey.” Connie answered, a breathless murmur, struck dumb for one of the rare times in her life.

A few more seconds passed, before the two lunged into each other’s arms, holding the other tightly. Connie’s head slid perfectly under her girlfriend’s chin, which rested atop her head. The two clung to each other, as if trying to make up for lost time with that single hug.

Ranma pressed softly against Lapis’s side, laying her head on her shoulder. “D’awwww.”

Lapis leaned her mouth closer to Ranma’s ear. “Do we know what her effing name is yet?” She whispered.

Ranma shook her head. “No clue.”

As the hug broke, Connie grinned brightly at her girlfriend. “You’re here! You’re really here!”

Her girlfriend smiled back. “You bet I am!” She gently reached a hand up, cupping Connie’s cheek. “Con, you’re so much more beautiful in person.”

Blushing, Connie tugged at her hand, pulling her back toward the group. “Guys, I’d like you all to meet my girlfriend.”

The redhead grinned. “Wendy Corduroy. Good to finally meet you all.”

Later that Afternoon

THWACK!

The hatchet struck dead center on the loudspeaker pole in the middle of the beach, sticking firmly into the wood. Onlookers gave a smattering of applause as Wendy strode over, confidently yanking the weapon out of the post. She expertly shifted the weapon around, offering the handle forward.

“Wanna give it a try?”

Connie smirked, accepting the offered hatchet. “Is it weird that I’ve been looking forward to axe-throwing with you for months?”

“Not at all, Connie. Not at all. Now, don’t get discouraged if you don’t land it your first try-“

THWACK!

Wendy cut her own assurance off as her gaze shot to the right, to the axe stuck deep in the pole. She turned her head back to the left. There Connie stood, an adorable smile on her face. Connie winked at her. “Best out of five?”

Wendy’s heart skipped a beat in her chest. “Oh man, we were made for each other.”

Up on the Boardwalk, Ranma, Lapis, and Steven leaned against the railing, watching the two. Ranma smirked. “Yanno, I should be shocked that Connie found someone as awesome as she is, but I’m really not.”

Steven nodded. “I told you they met on the same LGBT Edged Weapon Enthusiast Discord group, right? This was basically an inevitability.”

Lapis nudged his arm with her own. “Coulda told us she looked just like Ranma, y’know.”

Steven shrugged. “Would you believe I honestly didn’t see it until just earlier today?”

A snicker from Ranma. “Honestly, now I just wanna see them go up against Peridot using her metal powers to throw the axes.”

As if on cue, Amethyst came running by, Peridot standing atop her shoulders, balancing a rake on her chin. “BEHOLD! THE UNBELIEVABLE, INDESCRIBABLE PERIDOT! HOW DOES SHE DO IT? HOW DOES SHE DO IT????”

Lapis called after the two as they vanished from sight. “Hey! You two be careful with that thing!” She glanced back at Steven and Ranma. “Someone getting hurt by Peri dropping a garden tool on them would probably the second most unwelcome thing at Pride.”

Ranma cocked an eyebrow. “What’s the most unwelcome thing?”

Just behind her, Ronaldo Fryman suddenly slid into view with an extremely old battery-powered tape recorder. He thrust the mic in Ranma’s direction. “Lesbians! What is your wisdom?”

Without turning to look at him, Ranma simply gave a deadpan utterance. “Go away from us right now or I’ll stab you in the foot so you walk weird.”

Not missing a beat, Ronaldo nodded. “Excellent wisdom! Have a lovely Pride!” He turned and hustled away into the crowd as fast as he could.

Lapis groaned in frustration. “He’s like one of those annoying little Frou-Frou Poodles that never stops barking.”

Steven gave a weary smile. “He’s not… that bad…”

Ranma and Lapis both fixed Steven with a half-lidded stare.

Steven chuckled, despite himself. “Oh, come on! Ronaldo’s annoying, but he’s basically harmless. I’d rather deal with him than farm equipment-related disasters, featuring Amethyst and Peridot.”

Ranma shrugged. “Suit yourself, Steve-O.” She sighed happily, leaning her head against Lapis’s warm shoulder, clutching her well-built bicep. Lapis glanced at her, a small smile on her face. “Enjoyin’ yourself there, Ranma?”

Ranma nodded. “You know it. I feel like I’ve been walking on clouds since yesterday.” She smiled at Steven. “I’m never gonna be able to say this enough, but thank you, Steven. Thank you so much.”

Steven chuckled as he leaned against the Boardwalk railing. “I’m just glad it worked. And you’re sure that you’ve had no hot-water related problems?”

A seagull screeched overhead as Ranma nodded. “No problems at all.”

Lapis, who had been glancing upward, became wide-eyed suddenly. “KETTLE INCOMING!” She shouted, yanking Ranma to the side with one hand, pushing Steven back with the other.

On the one-year anniversary of the previous one, a weighty brass kettle came zooming out of the sky, landing heavily on the Boardwalk between the three. Though Ranma and Steven were out of the way of the object itself, the lid cracked open, unleashing its hot contents in a predictable direction.

SPLASH.

There Ranma stood, drenched in hot water, yet still very female. Above them, the seagull cackled as it flew away.

Steven winced. “Ouch. You okay, Ranma?”

Ranma, fists clenched, took a deep breath. “That… effing… hurt…” She raised her hands up her front, giving her breasts an experiment squeeze. “But I still got boobs, so I’m good.” She gave a deep sigh of relief. “Man, I love bein’ a girl.”

Steven gave an uneasy laugh, clutching his chest dramatically. “Okay… I think maybe we should stop tempting fate, maybe. I feel like the universe is trying to tell us something-“ His eyes widened as he stared into the crowd. “Oh my gosh, someone gave Peridot a Garden Weasel!” He took off running into the crowd, hands outstretched. “PERIDOT! NO! THAT’S TOO SHARP!”

Ranam laughed to herself. “If this is how he reacts to this lil’ bit of chaos, Nerima would eat that boy alive.”

A quirked eyebrow from Lapis. “You’re not thinking of taking him there, are you?”

“HA!” Ranma laughed loudly and dryly. “Heck no. Never. This town is all I need.”

Lapis hugged Ranma close around the waist, one leg popping upward. “I love you, babe.”

Ranma hugged her back. “Love you too, Blue.”

THWACK!

On the beach, Connie yanked the axe out of the increasingly deteriorating pole, hoisting it against her shoulder as she turned to face her girlfriend. “Wanna go for best of 30, or just call it quits before we chop down this pole?”

Wendy laughed loudly as she took the axe back from Connie, stowing it in her bag. “I think I’m good for calling it quits for now.” As she eased the axe in her bag, her eyes brightened. Wendy suddenly pulled a small, plastic rectangle out of the depths of her travel bag, pointing at it as she held it up. “I forgot to mention! I brought my Dad’s old Polaroid! Wanna get some pictures?”

Connie’s face lit up happily. “Heck yes, I do!”

Wendy glanced to the side, catching sight of someone further down the beach. She began to walk quickly toward them. “Hey, buddy! D’you mind taking a picture of us?”

Back up on the Boardwalk, Ranma gave Lapis a peck on her jawline. “I’m hungry. You getting’ hungry?”

Lapis shrugged with a smile. “I could go for a cold drink.”

Ranma slipped her arm around Lapis’s waist, giving her a hip-bump. “I could murder some fries right now.”

Lapis slipped her own arm around Ranma, the two heading into the crowd. “You sure? Might run into Ronaldo again.”

A snort from Ranma. “If Ronaldo Fryman’s the worst thing I could run into at Pride, I’m pretty sure I’m fine.”

The Polaroid flashed as the camera took, then whirred gently as the small, plastic square photo printed from the front.

Wendy took the camera back from the stranger, flapping the photo in the air. “Thanks, man!”

Ryoga Hibiki gave a sincere, fanged smile and a wave. “No problem! You guys have a good Mardi Gras!”

Connie gave the bandanna’d stranger an odd look, but didn’t press the matter, following Wendy back down the beach.

Ryoga took a deep breath as he faced out to sea, breathing in the salty air. “Man, New Orleans sure looks different.” He hoisted his heavy backpack around his shoulders, adjusted his weighted umbrella so it wouldn’t jab into his back, and began to stride down the beach. He had a lot of ground to cover if he wanted to make Nerima by tomorrow.

He smiled, glancing up at the festivities up on the Boardwalk. The infamous Hibiki Sense Of Direction (Or Lack Thereof) was awfully inconvenient for getting where you actually wanted to go, but it sure came in handy for sightseeing.

Behind him, the two girlfriends he’d taken the picture of ran up the stairs to the Boardwalk. “Hey, Ranma! Come have a look at this picture!”

Ryoga halted in his tracks with an audible Screech.

He slowwwwwly turned his head, looking back over his shoulder.

“No way.”

He stood where he was, frozen still on the sand, before quickly running to the edge of the Boardwalk, hopping up to stand atop the railing.

Ryoga scanned the crowd, eyes wide, looking for him.

Him.

The one he’d been fighting for his revenge from for so, so long.

“Ranma Saotome…”

Further through the crowd, he spied the two girls he’d taken the picture of. He grinned wickedly, eyes tracking their progress through the crowd.

They stopped by a food stand, talking animatedly to two people standing in front of it. One, one of those weird-ass rock people with blue skin, gave a smile and a laugh at whatever the two were saying.

The other one…

Ryoga frowned.

The other one was someone completely unknown to him. A girl, with red hair maybe, but it was too short. There was no sign of Ranma’s signature braid at all.

And besides, this girl looked way too happy. She was smiling ear to ear, laughing loudly along with the others. And were those… earrings?

Ranma Saotome, Man Among Men, had never been anything but a miserable wretch a day in his rotten life, much less in Girl Mode. This had to be a different Ranma, or something.

Ryoga frowned. “Hmph. False alarm. Waste of my time.”

He hopped down from the railing, and began making his way through the crowd, heading for what was probably the way out of town. Hopefully.

As he passed an orange mountain of a Gem, carrying her three girlfriends on her shoulders, he paused, lost in thought.

Yeah, that girl didn’t look a thing like Ranma, but… what if…

He smirked.

Well, one way to check. She’s too far away to splash, so…

Ryoga turned on his heel to face the crowd again, the inner sense afforded to all Ki-Users carefully flexing into life. If that really was Ranma, her Ki would be bright and visible above all these randos-

He froze. He stared into the crowd, hardly daring to believe what he was seeing.

At first, he foolishly thought the entire crowd had spontaneously burst into flames. But no-

It was Ki. An entire forest of Ki, burning brightly on almost half the people here.

The giant, orange Gem who had passed him had a bright orange inferno blazing off of her.

One of the Gems on her shoulder burned white and light blue, just as big and bright, an aura that didn’t match her lithe frame at all.

An intimidatingly sculpted Gem with an impossibly cubic afro strode past, barely giving him a second glance, two auras radiating off of her, one hot, one cold, how could she have two different Ki’s-

Dozens and dozens of auras, flickering and burning in dozens of different colors. All of these Gems, so much older and more powerful than they looked, and they probably didn’t even know the size of their own auras-

The crowd thinned, just long enough for him to see clear to the fry stand, where Not-Ranma stood chatting, none the wiser.

Her aura glowed hot and bright with an unfamiliar confidence and strength Ryoga had never seen on Ranma.

At her side was one of the girls he had taken the picture of, the one with the sword on her back. Her aura was tightly packed within her, like a forest fire barely contained behind a firebreak, she could be unstoppable if she ever learned to use Ki-

Ryoga’s eyes widened so large, they threatened to fall out. A young man with pink, curly hair was jogging toward the group to join them, and his Ki, bright pink, my God, Ryoga had never seen anything like it. It was like a Supernova in the shape of a human, a power so big, too big, no human could possibly have that kind of power, it put Elder Cologne’s to shame-

Ryoga froze as his eyes trailed upward, tracking the pink cloud of Ki, stopping as he realized something he’d missed.

The blue one. The one standing next to Not-Ranma.

She hadn’t had a visible Ki at first glance, causing him to dismiss her.

It was only as he looked upward, above the burning inferno of Ki’s, that he realized his mistake.

The reason he couldn’t see her Ki was the same reason why someone standing in the middle of Shinjuku Crossing couldn’t see Tokyo.

The blue Gem’s Ki was… Big.

That was the only way to describe it. It was Big. Trying to go further by using larger synonyms would be a disservice to it.

The blue Gem’s Ki stretched upward and outward in every direction, far enough to disappear from view. It rippled and shifted, like waves in a lake, or a flood-

Or an ocean.

Ryoga was already speed-walking in the opposite direction before he realized it. As hard-headed as he was, even he wasn’t suicidally overconfident enough to even consider taking that on. There was fighting challenging opponents, and then there was charging blindly at a windmill and hoping for the best.

Besides, that wasn’t Ranma. It very obviously wasn’t. He genuinely chuckled at his own presumptuousness. It was a big, big world, he wasn’t likely to simply stumble upon the coward on his travels.

“Alright, time to get back on the road.” he declared, opening the door to a storefront and disappearing inside.

It wasn’t until much, much later that day, as Ryoga wandered the busy streets of Cairo, that he paused.

“Wait a second… that was a pet store I stepped into, wasn’t it? Dang it, did I forget to feed Checkers?”

That Evening

Beach City

The setting sun hung low over the water, casting the sea in a bright orange color.