Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Class 1-A had numerous theories revolving around their local gremlin. Each person had their own point of view.

Bakugou Katsuki kicks puppies for living and eats baby’s for breakfast is one of the examples of how grotesque and deep these assumptions run. If it would have been about any other person, they might have not gone to such lengths with their ever over visualizing teenage minds. But the situation always turns way different when it comes to angry, irritated and loud, oh so loud, ash-blond classmate. While they walk on a live wire believing that the person on the mark doesn't know about their over-exaggerated hypotheses since they are very much alive and not blasted off to the planet come, Bakugou isn't as socially ignorant as people assume him to be. He knows what goes behind his back. The looks people gave him. Some of the fear, others straight out sneering but too much of a coward to come and say it on his face. They think of him as a monster.

A Villain.

A product, not fit to be a hero.

He tends to ignore these people. For him, they are just extras. Some no-names who should be grateful that they are able to grow up as heroes without anyone questioning their foundations. Those who have already their groundwork laid out for him while he struggles to even qualify as hero material.

It all started with that damned Sports Festival. The Half-and-Half bastard looked down on him like some speck of shit that didn't deserve his highness’s time and attention. Of course, he was fuming. He fucking had a right to be. He assumed that at least UA would see him equal to all their hero course students and give him a fucking choice when he said no. But then why the hell was the goddamn Tailguy was excused, while he got chained and muzzled like a fucking rabid animal.
Everyone saw him. All Might saw him. And they all fucking laughed while he struggled to get out of chains as he can't fucking breathe. That triggered so many years of memories he had buried in his mind. So many nightmares, he had no remedy of.
Fuck. Fuck. FUUCCKK!!!!!

After that day, Katsuki gave up on being anything other than the hero and worked like a madman. He became the first place in hero training and second place in academics. He still had to beat that Ponytail but he was close behind. He just needed to cut out some of his break time which is already close to being nonexistent. But that doesn't matter. What matters is that he beats her. Becomes a rightful number one. So that no one questions him anymore.

You want to demean me, firstly come at my level fuckers.

Number one spot is his safe zone. No one would bother him there.

He also expected that there might be some decent people in UA who would like to be there with him. Not friends, he doesn't have such high expectations because he is not a goddamn stupid, but someone who could at least support him during training. Now, he just wants to smack himself for even entertaining such ludicrous thoughts.
There is no one for him.

He is alone.

Like when he was only four and his mother had accidentally locked him out of the house, in rain, and he spends the whole night knocking at the door because he wasn't tall enough to reach for the doorbell. He was soaked to the bone and his teeth were chattering. He finally blacked out and when he woke up, he was still lying under the tiny shade he found in his backyard. He slowly rose up and went for the door, finding it unlocked. His father was sitting on the sofa, sipping his morning coffee and on seeing the state of his son he immediately called for his wife. His mother came and blamed him for being a brat and running out to play in the rain. He was very confused, scared and cold that time. He could not comprehend what was going on. Why was she screaming at him? And then she smacked him and everything turned black. He had hypothermia.

It was only after that incident, Katsuki figured that he was apparently very forgettable.

If he would not shout loud enough, if he was not flashy enough, people will lock him out and forget. And this time he wasn't sure if he could live through that. So he started to visit the local library to find a book that will help him grab attention. He learned that if you are best, nobody would neglect you. So that's what he strived for. To be best. At everything. From laundering to cooking, he did everything. Age didn't matter to him. He wants to be the best. He needs to be the best. Or he would be forgotten. Again.

But over a period of time, his values shaped with situations. Two types of attention, good and bad. While the former seems to had some unaddressed grudge against him, latter stuck to him like a fucking magnet.
People hated him for no reason at all. He didn't know them, had never even seen their faces and they look at him insect beneath their shoes. Ready to sneer at him at every chance they got.
Turns out his mother wasn't the most upstanding member of society and had her fair number of haters. Since they cannot directly go to her, Katsuki becomes the target. Because why not. He was practically defenceless and cannot use his quirk to protect himself because he would be immediately labelled as a villainous child and his mother would throw him out of the house without second thoughts.
So he endured. And endured some more.
But when he finally can't take it anymore, he snapped at Deku. Poor, defenceless Deku. It felt good and Katsuki was horrified at his thoughts and deeds. He stopped looking at Deku after that.

Or at least, he tried stopping looking at Deku. But for the fuck’s sake, the guy had not a single self-preservation bone in his goddamn body and still tried to follow him everywhere like a piece of shit he was. He tried his best to get rid of him. But no, Deku was a fucking stalker. And just because he was quirkless, defenceless and straight-up loser, Katsuki always became the infamous villainous child who liked to bully the poor little boys in his free time. Everybody blamed him and he just wanted to get rid of that green-haired fucker because fuck that cunning piece of everything bad on this earth and katsuki’s life.

Katsuki knew his attitude was not the most acceptable thing in this world and that half of his problems were a direct consequence from his so-called foul-mouthed villainous actions. He bet the fuckers who blamed him cannot do one fucking heroic act in their miserable lives but still blamed a teenager for being rightfully enraged because apparently society was rotten ass shit and people were all just pile of crap upon crap.

After dorms came in, Katsuki decided that enough is enough. Because somehow he gave his bunch of classmates ideas that they all can actually be anything more than a general acquaintance with him. That they can actually be his friends. Hah. What a joke.

Katsuki can count on one hand the number of people he ever considered anything more than a fellow human being and he wouldn't even need to use his fingers as there are no such people in his life.
He is alone. And now that he had accepted this fact like every breath he takes, anything outside his aloneness makes him want to kill himself.

You son of a bitch, which part of ’don't get your fucking hopes up’ you didn't understand.

Katsuki had enough experience of this ugly world to know that if he gets crushed again even a single more time, there is no hope for him to survive anymore. It would be too painful and doesn't matter how much he convinces himself, he is not strong enough to handle it. He accepted that and lived with that and behaved like that but for these bunch of shitheads, decent human behaviour means open invitation to just barge into his life and ruin everything he had built for so long. He can't let them do that.

He just cannot.

And this all turned out of him locking himself in the dorm room like a religious task and only show his face when he requires some food or to just get out of that bullshit building. Fuck. If his parents actually cared for him, he might have requested to install some nuclear kitchen system in his room so he didn't have to dodge people like literal plagues whenever he goes into the common area. He never envied that Invisibitch this much before. But apparently, he cannot be silent and forgotten so easily, because his whole fucking existence was loud. From his voice to his looks to his quirk, everything was flashy ass shit and he can't get rid of it. And it gets even more difficult when you have literal leeches in the name of classmates who seem to have numerous head injuries in past, impairing their ability to differentiate between being friends and hell-bent annoyances.

Katsuki just cannot understand a single one of them.
Or what are they thinking?
Or what are they smoking?
He doesn't get it.

And looks like their feelings were mutual.

Because they very clearly and painfully doesn't seem to get him too.

What a fucking mess.

Chapter Text

His Bakubro was manliest of all and he'll fight anyone who says otherwise.

Just when he thought that his and ash-blonde’s friendship is going all sunshine and rainbows, Kamino happened. Kirishima was torn when his best friend was kidnapped and he did nothing to save him. He wanted to shout and scold himself for being such a useless hero but he knew it wasn't time for self-pity. He decided to bring back his bro, whether anybody joins him or not. Luckily, his few classmates also saw the need to do something and they somehow miraculously managed to rescue Bakugou too. After that dorms were announced and Kirishima was excited on the prospect of living with his friends. He was also worried about his Bakubro as ash blonde was completely ignoring everyone after the kidnapping. So he thought dorms were a great option to get him open up as they were practically living with each other and all. Bakugou cannot escape from them here.

Right?

Wrong. So very wrong.

After the dorms started Bakugou somehow managed to become even more scarce than before. The guy was practically a ghost. He manages to cook, eat and wash dishes without alerting anyone. Nobody knows when he comes down and goes up. If they somehow manage to catch him in the common area, he is either going out or back to his room. While some of their classmates called him arrogant for treating them like strangers not worth his time, Kirishima knew that's not the case.
It's almost like Bakugou was trying to disappear. Trying to huddle himself into nothingness.

And if Kirishima didn't know better he would say his bro was scared.

Scared of who exactly?

He doesn't know. Maybe League of Villians. Maybe living in an unfamiliar surrounding. Maybe certain someone.

Or maybe everyone.

”Bakugou, stay after class. I have something to discuss with you.” Aizawa instructed tiredly, looking like he was not getting paid enough(and he really wasn't. Fuck that damn mouse. Tricking him into teaching class full of troublemakers. Guiding the next generation, his ass. He would be more surprised if all of his students somehow manage to make out alive to next year, let alone the entirety of the high school.)

Bakugou stopped on his tracks and started to recount all activities that can possibly get into his resume and taint his yet clean record(the fuckmunches from class will flip if they come to know that he has a cleaner profile than any of them. And he will probably enjoy that shitshow but it means that he had to be physically present around and that was big no. Nope. Not going there.)

”Am I in trouble?” he directly asked his teacher instead of pondering on it like some certain green-haired fucker, he is unluckily associated with.

”No. Not yet. But you might just create one for yourself if you won't get proper help on time.”

”Hah!? Have my grades dropped or something?” he immediately retaliated and Aizawa took a long breath, regretting the day he said yes to being teacher. Fuck.That.Damn.Mouse.

”No. Your grades or overall class performance has not dropped a bit and has rather drastically improved from before. But, as your classmates and other teachers have observed, you are overworking yourself and that's not good for your mental and physical condition. I don't know if you have always pushed yourself this hard or it is some sort of coping mechanism but one thing is clear that you need a proper therapy for whatever is troubling your mind...”

”You cannot force a fucking counsellor on me just because of your overactive imagination.” Bakugou was clearly being defensive and for a first time, Aizawa wondered if this kid can differentiate worry from pity. Kirishima and others had approached him yesterday, expressing their concerns about Bakugou and a few days before, All Might also voice his inability to get the audience with Katsuki because apparently, his loudest student has better stealth skills than Hagakure and he manages to always escape before someone approaches him. Aizawa probably would have been proud, if he wasn't so worried about him.

”No one is forcing you Bakugou. But I would strongly suggest you to at least pay a visit to Hound Dog, even once. No one here is your enemy, kid. We are just worried about your health.” he handed down the flyer of U.A. Resources to the blonde who very reluctantly took it.

”Anything more or should I go now?” he asked, not looking up from the floor.

”Dismissed.” Aizawa mumbled and before Bakugou can sprint out the classroom, he added ”..we all are here for you, Katsuki. My office doors are opened if you need someone to talk too.”

”That's the problem.” he muttered under his breath and headed out of the classroom, flyer already crumbled and ready to be blasted into ashes.

He walked towards the dorms, slower than usual. He was deep into thoughts and trying to pinpoint exactly why do his classmates have not stopped giving a shit about him, by now. He did everything possible within his bounds to just drive them away enough so that they can finally forget him and move onto some other stray for their pity party. Maybe he took the wrong approach. Maybe they would only get the hint if he outright showers them with slangs and curses. If he insults them and bullies them. Repeating his middle school self all over again.

But fucking Deku could not get the hint even then.

What the fuck should he do then? Leave his extra nosy classmate alone and continue like before? Or should he outright accuse those jerks of butting in into his life without his permission?
He can't see the latter option ending pleasingly.

But what else choice was he left with. He had to do something. He had to repel anyone and everyone that he might have been associated with.

Because if he won't then it's all over for him. Other people had always been like a binding force for him. Preventing him from giving his all.

And that's all they are ever gonna be.

He retired to his room as soon as he entered the dorms, not giving any of those shitheads chance to ruin his already devastating mood. He went to prepare dinner according to his schedule, according to which all of his classmates have either left the common area or are to busy to pay attention to anyone.

Or that's what he thought.

Because apparently, some of Satan’s pawn came up with the idea of having a fucking movie night on Saturday's.

How fucking glorious.

”Awwwww, come on now, Blasty. It's just a movie night with all your favourite people. It's gonna be fun. Loosen up a little bit.” racoon eyes was persistently latched on his arms like a fucking koala while he tried to get away. Everyone from the class watched the spectacle while his self-proclaimed squad tried to coax him into giving up and giving in.

”Favourite people? When in the hell any of you fuckmunches became my favourite?”

”Aw, don't be so mean, Bakubro. It's not right to treat your friends like that.” shitty hair added, giving his sharp-toothed grin. Looking too happy for reasons which are beyond his mental capacity.

”And butting your goddamn nose where it doesn't belong is the right thing to do?” and redheads grin disappeared just like that.

”..huh?”

” Don't you dare to play dumb on me. You fed Aizawa all those bullshits, didn't you?” he snarled viciously at him. By now, racoon eye had left his arm and everyone took a step back as they saw the situation getting heated. He ignored them and kept glaring at asshole in question.

”.. it's not bullshit.” shitty hair mumbled under his head, looking down like a kicked puppy but still entirely too sure of himself.

”Well, I call it bullshit because it's my fucking private life. And just like I don't go and tell upon other people because it's not my business, you all should also learn to possess some goddamn decency before sticking your fucking nose into mine.” he seethed, and the movie had been paused as everyone watched his outburst. But he was too far gone to care now. He was 100% sure that sensei was not going to let him bailout so easily if somebody expressed their so-called concerns for him, one more time. And he needs a clean fucking record or old hag is going to rip him a new one. This was the only option left now.

”No.”

”What did you say?”

”I said I won't stop worrying about because even if you don't except, I am your friend. And I watched you working nonstop, from the time we got here. You don't even take breaks, man. And we all know it's not healthy. So, if you are not going to think about yourself, someone has too.” Kirishima spouted, eyes determined like he was standing between some deathmatch rather than a petty argument.

Why.The.Hell.He.Was.Surrounded.With.People.Who.Could.Not.Just.Get.A.Fucking.Hint.

Uugghhhhh.

”Kirishima..” hearing his actual name in calm tone wavered redhead a little, ”... I get it you have this fucking hero complex thing going on with the majority of other people here but get one thing very straight in all of your damn heads. I don't need your pity party. I am very happy and content on my own. Leave it to be. Stop making mountains out of moulds. It's not going to magically make me acknowledge you all and it's definitely not helping me in any way I can possibly comprehend. So just..” he gritted his teeth tightly before counting in his head and letting out a deep sigh, ”...stop.”

And after that, he turned and went back to his room.

Dinner be damned.

Chapter Text

Hello everyone. Author here.
I started my journey with MHA with some years back in 2018 and had been positively enamoured with explosive child aka Bakugou Katsuki for good 2 years. Therefore I started my Ao3 authorship journey with this enigmatic boy bustling with personality. However, lot of things occurred in past five years and my awareness regarding MHA Universe has more or less fractured into oblivion. I also cannot muster enough motivation to pick it up again.

So, with all due respect, I'll be abandoning this project as well, with my other two. I initially thought on deleting this work altogether but the comments, encouragements and kudos I received had been very first in my journey of writing. I occasionally look back at them and contemplate to write again someday. I hope that day is near as completing 'Lord of The Mysteries' have burst opened my horizons like never before.

Thank you everyone for who loved and appreciated my works till now.
I hope that you get to read each and every story you ever wish to read.

Once again, thank you from bottom of my heart~