Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Cypher has added Phoenix, Jett, Breach, and 7 others.

Cypher changed their name to SpyKid.

Phoenix: oh, what's this

SpyKid: i got tired of talking to you all separately

Raze: nice!

Raze changed their name to Creeper.

Jett: i fucking hate those things

Jett changed their name to HardCarry.

Sova: That's a good idea! Now we can have less miscommunication.

HardCarry changed Phoenix's name to HotBoy.

HotBoy: ayyy

HardCarry: ayyy

Breach: this is not going to end well...

Brimstone: This is going to turn bad really fast.

Viper: Nice to know there are others that know this.

Spykid: what do you mean?

Reyna: Putting Raze, Phoenix, and Jett in the same chat is a recipe for disaster.

Reyna: Although, it's going to be fun to watch.

HardCarry: you guys act like we completely destroy everything we touch

Brimstone: Central station in France.

Viper: That one club in New York.

Sage: Didn't something like that happen last week?

HotBoy: okay we get it

Creeper: man, you make a few incidents and everyone doesn't trust you anymore

HardCarry: honestly

Reyna changed their name to SoulSnatcher.

Sova: Is changing your name mandatory?

SpyKid: no, if you don't want to, you don't have to.

HardCarry: hehheehehe

HardCarry changed Sova's name to DerpShot.

DerpShot: I see.

SoulSnatcher: It kinda sounds like dipshit.

HardCarry: that was not my intention.

Breach changed their name to Ragnarok.

Ragnarok: Just so no one touches my name.

Creeper changed Sage's name to Angel.

Angel: <3

Creeper: <3

HotBoy: gay

Creeper: yes

HardCarry changed Viper's name to Snek.

Snek: Is that suppose to be Snake?

HardCarry: yea

Snek: You spell it wrong...

HardCarry changed Snek's name to Snecc.

Snecc: Why do i even bother?

SpyKid changed Omen's name to DarkSoulz.

DarkSoulz: You ruined it. 

DarkSoulz: No one knew I was here.

SpyKid: well we can't leave you out!

DarkSoulz: Next time, please do.

HotBoy changed Brimstone's name to DadStone.

DadStone: I liked my name the way it was.

HotBoy changed Dadstone's name to Daddy.

Daddy: No. Stop.

Daddy: How do I change my name?

HardCarry: oh geez you are a dad

SoulSnatcher: You can use calculated airstrikes and tech, but you don't know how to change a username?

SpyKid: ^

DarkSoulz: ^^

Creeper: ^^^

HotBoy: hey i'm going to Mcdonalds, anyone want anything?

HardCarry: big mac

DarkSoulz: Chicken nuggets.

Angel: Can you get Sova and I happy meals?

DerpShot: Please.

Creeper: get me a mcflurry.

HotBoy: okay

Daddy: I still want to know how to change my name.

Chapter Text

Hotboy: where is everyone? it's dead in here

Daddy: Sova is training some of them right now

Soulsnatcher: Training?

SpyKid: Teaching them geometry, basically.

HardCarry: and depth perception

Soulsnatcher: Oh there you are.

Angel: We are taking a break right now.

DerpShot: Yes, everyone is doing well.

DerpShot: Even Raze is performing well.

HotBoy: Raze there too?

Creeper: me and breach stopped by to watch

Snecc: I guess I could train for an hour as well.

DarkSoulz: What would you be training exactly?

Snecc: Fastest method of killing someone with poison, obviously.

DarkSoulz: Fair enough.

SoulSnatcher: I might join you, learning weaknesses could be valuable.

Daddy: This could be excellent training for everyone

HotBoy: so all the edgy people and Brim is going to train without me

DarkSoulz: If i’m going then Cypher you are coming with me

SpyKid: Do i have to?

SpyKid: What’s in it for me?

DarkSoulz: I’ll give you five bucks.

SpyKid: When is the training session?

HotBoy: am i allowed to crash this planned training session

Daddy: You're going to do it no matter what, so yes.

HotBoy: bet. 

Creeper: OMG

Snecc: Huh?

Creeper: I'm fucking crying

SpyKid: HAHAHAHA

SoulSnatcher: I'm sorry, what is happening?

DarkSoulz: No idea…

Daddy: Can someone tell us what's going on?

SpyKid: Okay, so I had a camera set up so here's what happened

Daddy: Not surprised

SpyKid: Shush. So Sova was giving them some tips

SpyKid: While he did that a butterfly appeared and Sage pointed at it

SpyKid: They were watching it flutter by and it landed on Breach's face

HotBoy: oh no

SoulSnatcher: So he killed it?

SpyKid: They all chuckled at it cause, hey it was a pretty adorable sight

SpyKid: Then with the straightest face, Breach quickly grabs the butterfly and eats it!

HotBoy: OHHH NOOOOOOOO

SoulSnatcher: Oh my…

Snecc: That's pretty funny.

Daddy: Jesus…

SpyKid: Now chaos is happening.

SpyKid: Sage froze and then started crying.

SpyKid: Poor thing looks traumatized.

SpyKid: Jett immediately 'squared up' as they say,

SpyKid: like no knives and gun, just put her fist up ready to punch him,

SpyKid: Sova is trying to keep the peace,

SpyKid: And I think Raze is dying of laughter.

SoulSnatcher: Today did seem a bit too normal.

Snecc: How did I get roped in with you people?

DarkSoulz: How does the butterfly taste, I'm curious.

Ragnarok: Delicious.

HardCarry: YOU WILL DIE BY MY HAND IN HONOR OF ARNOLD

Angel: Arnold...may you be in peace.

SoulSnatcher: More like pieces.

Angel: NO!

HardCarry: I'll fight you too!

Creeper: I love this chat so much

Chapter Text

Daddy changed their name to Brimstone.

Brimstone: Finally, i figured it out!

SpyKid: Well done.

HardCarry: damn it

SoulSnatcher: Ugh

Angel: I believe you guys owe me money!

Creeper: one day off!

Brimstone: I’m sorry, what happened?

DerpShot: Sage, Jett, Reyna, and Raze made a bet.

Snecc: It was to see how long it would take you to figure it out.

Angel: So, I'm hearing forty bucks?

HotBoy: wow no one invited me to this

HardCarry: sorry pretty boy

Creeper changed Brimstone’s name to NoFun.

HardCarry: lol

HardCarry changed NoFun’s name to CrustyDusty.

SpyKid: LMAO

CrustyDusty: No. Stop.

HardCarry: you can just changed it back

CrustyDusty changed their name to Brimstone.

HardCarry: hehehehe

Creeper changed Brimstone’s name to Molly.

Molly: Wha-?

Creeper: the way you say it is funny

Angel changed Molly’s name to Brimothy.

Brimothy: Not you too, Sage…

Angel: Sorry, but it’s kinda funny…

SpyKid: Maybe you guys should stop…

SoulSnatcher: It’s not nice.

HardCarry: fine

Creeper: aw

Brimothy changed their name to Brimstone.

Brimstone: Finally.

Brimstone: Thank you, Cypher and Reyna.

Snecc: Wait for it...

HotBoy changed Brimstone’s name to OldTimer.

OldTimer: …

Ragnarok: you should probably run…

OldTimer: I would if I were you.

SoulSnatcher: Who wouldn’t want to be Phoenix?

Creeper: got a point there

SpyKid: Phoenix would be my third choice.

HardCarry: IF i had to, why not pretty boy

HardCarry: amirite?

Angel: True.

DerpShot: He is a good choice.

Ragnarok: Eh..

Snecc: Not a first choice, not my last...

HotBoy: wow

HotBoy: everyone wants a piece of me

DarkSoulz: Interesting...

DarkSoulz: Would you actually do it though?

HotBoy: oh well I mean I never actually had...I'm willing to try I guess, I didn't think you of all people would want to…

DarkSoulz: Excellent, I call dibs on his left arm.

HotBoy: wait what

Snecc: In that case, I will take his right arm.

HotBoy: woah woah

SoulSnatcher: I’ll take his soul, of course.

OldTimer: This. I won't stop.

Creeper: HA

SpyKid: Oof, can I get his valuables?

HotBoy: Cypher!

SpyKid: Phoenix!

HardCarry: Jett!

HardCarry: also I'll take his clothes

HotBoy: bro…

HardCarry: I'm sorry but your clothes are lit

Ragnarok: Did you just…

Angel: I’m sure you know.

Angel: I can’t heal that...

DerpShot: Doesn't Phoenix come back to life with no damage?

HotBoy: wait you got a point Sova

SoulSnatcher: So we can have your parts?

HotBoy: no!

DarkSoulz: worth a shot

Chapter Text

HardCarry: ok killer idea

SoulSnatcher: Oh boy...

Snecc: Here we go....

HardCarry: hey hey

HardCarry: you guys didn't even give me a chance

OldTimer: Because that's all it takes.

HardCarry: >:T

HotBoy: hey, what's the idea

HardCarry: i'm glad you asked hot stuff

Ragnarok: here we go...

HardCarry: we should go...

Creeper: blow stuff up?

HardCarry: what

HardCarry: no

HardCarry: we should throw a party!

Derpshot: Oh, for the newcomer who has incredible skills and intelligence

Angel: Who will help us save the world and is pretty nice?

OldTimer: Wow, that's nice of you, Jett.

HardCarry: what

HardCarry: hell no fuck whoever that is

HotBoy: WOW

Creeper: again best chat

OldTimer: ...

Snecc: So, then what's the party for?

HardCarry: ah

HardCarry: for all of us becoming a team!

HardCarry: and most importantly a family!

DerpShot: You just want a party, yes?

HardCarry: yeah

Angel: Thought so.

OldTimer: We are not having a party just because you want one.

DerpShot: But party for newcomer would be nice.

OldTimer: I suppose that's a good reason.

HardCarry: fine, but if she asks me anything about it, i'm not going to lie.

HardCarry: it's a party

HotBoy: AND a celebration

HardCarry: mostly a party

DerpShot: I'm not the best at cooking, so i think decorations will be best for me.

HardCarry: i will make the cake!

Angel: I will make the cake, you can help.

HardCarry: deal

Creeper: i'll make a firework show!

Creeper: it will be so awesome!

Ragnarok: I'll handle the place.

OldTimer: I'll make sure everything runs okay.

SoulSnatcher: Just okay?

OldTimer: Smooth is pushing it.

OldTimer: Great is a miracle.

OldTimer: Perfect is impossible.

SoulSnatcher: Fair enough.

SoulSnatcher: I'll sure you all don't dress like peasants.

HotBoy: Oh thank you. What would we do without you?

SoulSnatcher: Crash and Burn. I know.

HotBoy: ...

HotBoy: anyway, i think i'll do lighting

HotBoy: set the mood

Snecc: I guess i could help with the food.

DarkSoulz: I'll help with decorations.

HardCarry: cool

HardCarry: wait what about Cypher

DarkSoulz: He can keep an eye on the newcomer

DarkSoulz: Giving signal and all.

HardCarry: again, this is mostly a party...

OldTimer: Let it go.

HardCarry: never!

Omen --> Cypher

DonnieDarko: You've been quiet lately.

Paranormal: Is that weird?

DonnieDarko: Considering how you usually are, yes.

DonnieDarko: Also, i just know.

Paranormal: Listen, i'm just not feeling it today.

Paranormal: It happens.

DonnieDarko: No one deserves to be alone when it happens, however.

DonnieDarko: You showed me that.

Paranormal: It will go away.

DonnieDarko: That's not how trauma works and you know it.

Paranormal: Listen, I just need time to work it out.

DonnieDarko: Can you even fathom how long that would take?

Paranormal: Omen, i'll be okay. Seriously.

DonnieDarko: I know, but don't think i'm just going to go about my day, knowing you need someone.

Paranormal: Ya know, for an edgy guy. You sure are over-protective.

DonnieDarko: Only to people I care about.

DonnieDarko: Want to watch a bad movie and drink some tea?

Paranormal: I'm not feeling tea...

Paranormal: How about some apple juice?

DonnieDarko: Hell yes.

DonnieDarko: I'll see you in 10.

Paranormal: Haha. Alright.

Paranormal: Thank you. Omen.

DonnieDarko: Of course.

Sage --> Cypher

HealthPack: I feel a disturbance in the force...

InfoCenter: Lol

InfoCenter: I'm better now. Omen kept bothering me...

HealthPack: Good. The negative energy has slipped away a little.

InfoCenter: We are getting there...

HealthPack: You can always decline...

HealthPack: But may Sova and I join you guys?

HealthPack: Don't let him know this

HealthPack: But he had a nightmare, he just stopped shaking...

InfoCenter: Of course, you know I love you both.

HealthPack: I don't want to intrude.

InfoCenter: I trust you and Sova.

InfoCenter: But make sure to bring snacks

InfoCenter: We got apple juice and bad movies.

HealthPack: Sounds wonderful.

HealthPack: We are on our way.

Sova --> Cypher

HideSeek: Thank you...

ISpy: Hm?

HideSeek: I know you didn't have to let us over...

ISpy: Hey, i trust you both

ISpy: Besides we got to look out for each other...

HideSeek: You are a great person, Cypher.

HideSeek: We love you.

ISpy: Sova...

ISpy: That was really gay...

HideSeek: We love you. No homo.

ISpy: Oh cool.

HideSeek: ...

ISpy: ...

HideSeek: Now Sage and Omen are going to question why they are laughing.

ISpy: They can imagine why.

HideSeek: True, Sage will steal and look through my phone later.

ISpy: Omg, you also have a bffwimlaps that does that too?

HideSeek: Yes.

ISpy: Nice.

Omen added Cypher, Sage, and Sova.

Omen: Watch the movie, dammit.

Cypher: Did you make a whole new chat just for that?

Omen: Yes now shush and watch.

Sage: Quiet, it's getting to the good part.

Sova: What good part?

Chapter Text

OldTimer: It's go time people!

SoulSnatcher: Brimstone, this is a party.

SoulSnatcher: Not a mission.

DerpShot: In some way, it could be considered one.

Snecc: Preferably, let's not call it one.

HotBoy: come on guys!

Creeper: it's time to have FUN!

HardCarry: yeah what are we waiting for

DarkSoulz: The guest this party was for

HardCarry: ...

Ragnarok: Who?

HardCarry: my thoughts exactly!

OldTimer: Breach...

Ragnarok: What?

Ragnarok: I actually forgot why we were doing this

HardCarry: it's just a party to celebrate!

Angel: No, it's for the newcomer, Killjoy.

HardCarry: who?

HotBoy: Jett...

HardCarry: sigh

HardCarry: this is just a party

SpyKid: She's walking up.

OldTimer: WHAT

OldTimer: Why did you just notify us?

SpyKid: You all told me to...

Snecc: We did?

Flashback to 15 minutes ago

OldTimer: Is everything ready?

Angel: Hold on, the food isn't checked yet!

Ragnarok: Why?

Angel: Well Viper did help and we wanna be sure...

SoulSnatcher: Sage, be a dear and come and help me with this!

Angel: Okay! Jett check the food please!

SpyKid: So do i update everything she's doing or...?

HardCarry: how do i know...

HardCarry: fuck it, i'll guess

Ragnarok: What's happening over there?

OldTimer: Everything is going down hill...

SpyKid: Hello?

HotBoy: wow am i NOT the cause for disruption for once?

SoulSnatcher: Well everything was going well until Raze kept messing up her dress!

Creeper: Hey!

Creeper: You put me in a long dress and expect it to be clean!

Angel: Why are the ends burned?

SoulSnatcher: Yes, nice question.

SoulSnatcher: WHY THE HELL ARE THE ENDS BURNED

Creeper: ...

SpyKid: Don't do it.

Creeper: i don't know 

Creeper: why are the ends burned

DerpShot: Oh no.

Creeper: AAAADSIOGMREISBGEUGNMRIPBHTMSNHSRTIJBSIRNPDM

DarkSoulz: Rest in peace.

Snecc: Reyna is yelling in spanish while chasing Raze.

Snecc: I've never seen Raze run so fast...

Snecc: Also, no i didn't poison the food.

Angel: Oh okay, thank goodness.

Snecc: However, i know which ones i would've poisoned.

Snecc: So, it will be nice seeing who eats what...

OldTimer: ...

Ragnarok: Who invited you?

SpyKid: Can someone answer my question?

OldTimer: What is it?

SpyKid: There's two.

SpyKid: When should i notify about KillJoy?

SpyKid: Is it safe to have all the banners of the right side on fire?

OldTimer: WHAT

HardCarry: OH SHIT HE'S RIGHT

HotBoy: IT WASN'T ME

DerpShot: Oh, there is indeed a fire.

Ragnarok: why did you put flammable material next to a heater?

DerpShot: No one informed me of that.

Creeper: wasn't that your job Breach

Ragnarok: isn't Reyna chasing you?

Creeper: i'm hiding

SoulSnatcher: Keep texting, i can hear her phone.

Creeper: meep meep

HardCarry: don't worry i'll put it out with my wind

OldTimer: NO

DerpShot: Oh no it's worse.

SpyKid: What about the KillJoy thing?

OldTimer: Someone get water!

Ragnarok: Not one person here has water powers or something

SpyKid: Hello? KillJoy?

HotBoy: Just tell us when she's here

OldTimer: If she's not here then i don't want to hear about it!

OldTimer: Now help with the fire!

Present time

SpyKid: ...

SpyKid: Yes. Yes you did.

SpyKid: Anyway, she is coming.

OldTimer: Shit!

OldTimer: Places people!

OldTimer: Jett! You too!

HardCarry: ugh

---------------------------------------

"Ya know, it's not really a surprise if i know about it," KillJoy pipes up.

It was awkward to say the least, having someone pop up right in front of you, then tell you to follow them. She didn't know much about Omen to begin with, however to be fair she just got signed on. Thankfully, she's a genius. Of course, it doesn't take one to figure out that she was being led to a party. She could see lights ahead and there was smoke earlier. Someone was obviously making food and setting up.

"It's more about how this will go down, rather than the actual surprise," Omen responds, not bothering to acknowledge Killjoy physically.

The words replay in Killjoy's head. '...How this will go down...' Perhaps, it is a test. A test on her reaction speed. Her wit. How could she get out of a situation with no back-up? She knew Brimstone was thorough, but not this thorough. She could backtrack, after all Omen isn't looking at her. No. This is a test with people that have been chosen to save the world. They're probably in flank position already. 

"Well, we are here," Omen pulls her out of her thoughts.

"We're here...?" She questions, watching Omen finally turn to her.

"Welcome to the team." Omen ends with teleporting to his right.

Suddenly, there was light to the right. Despite not having a plan and not sure what kind of test this was, Killjoy still turned and walked through the hallway.

"Surprise!" Her eyes widened.

She sees a banner that says 'Welcome, Killjoy!' Brimstone is in front, arms crossed with a proud smile on his face. All the way to his left was Jett, she looked indifferent. So cool. Next to her was Sova, Sage, then Raze, all of them with varying smiles. Omen was crouched on top of some boxes, behind everyone next to an outlet, that explains the lights. Phoenix appears to Brimstone's right, adjusting the collar on his jacket. Cypher next to him, rolling a tripwire across his knuckles. Viper stands next with a cold, sharp look. So scary. Beside her is Reyna, looking at Killjoy like she's...food. Finally, Breach, who is leaning against a wall, giving her a thumbs up.

"Wow...Impressive," KillJoy comments, she smiles at the sight.

"Now, can we please move on to the party already?" Jett exasperates, quickly moving to the food table.

"Yeah!" Raze jumps with joy, practically yelling. "Let's crack out the fireworks!"

"You got it, girl!" Phoenix runs off with Raze. "I got a lighter right here!"

"This--" Breach pushes himself off the wall with newfound tiredness--"is going to a long night."

Chapter Text

Cypher added Killjoy.

Killjoy: Thanks for the party, everyone.

Angel: Of course!

HotBoy: always up for a party

HardCarry: yup just a party

OldTimer: God damn it, Jett.

Creeper: the party was Jett's idea

Killjoy: Really?

Killjoy: Thank you, Jett!

HardCarry: ...

HardCarry: sigh it was just a party

OldTimer: Anyways,

OldTimer: Welcome to the team, Kid.

Killjoy: Thanks, oldtimer.

OldTimer changed their name to Brimstone.

Brimstone: As i was saying...

Brimstone: Cypher. Sage.

Brimstone: She is in the same category as you two.

Brimstone: Teach her some tips and tricks as a sentinel.

SpyKid: Alright.

Angel: This will be fun!

Brimstone: Be serious about this.

Brimstone: Also, everyone try to play nice.

Killjoy: I can handle myself, Brim.

Ragnarok: This chat can get crazy.

Creeper: if she made it to the team then she'll be fine

Killjoy: Yes, it's not like i copied and pasted someone's inventions

HotBoy: oh shit

SoulSnatcher: Here we go.

Creeper: is it copy and pasting if they made it better

HardCarry: oop-

Killjoy: It's considered when they have no other redeemable talents.

DerpShot: >->

DerpShot: <-<

SpyKid: Hey, you figured out emojis!

DerpShot: It's fun.

DerpShot: ^-^

Creeper: oh 

Creeper: is there evidence somewhere that states that

Creeper: is it hidden in those thick ass eyebrows of yours

Snecc: Pfft-

DarkSoulz: Destruction 100

Brimstone: Alright. Alright. Enough.

HotBoy: put that in the book

HardCarry: PLEASE

SpyKid: On it.

Killjoy: Book?

HotBoy: its where we write down insults we all thought were really good

Killjoy: How many are in there?

SoulSnatcher: A lot.

DerpShot: More than you would expect.

HardCarry: we insult each other alot

Angel: An insult fest will happen sooner or later.

Angel: Just wait.

SpyKid: "Don't worry, your parents hold the most dissappointment in you" -Breach

HardCarry: i remember that

Killjoy: Oh my.

SpyKid: "It was drier than Phoenix's sex life" -Omen

HotBoy: that stills hurts to this day

DarkSoulz: So it's still dry then.

HotBoy: your to talk

HotBoy: i know you don't have one

DarkSoulz: I constantly strain and worry about my stability.

DarkSoulz: Also it just doesn't interest me.

DarkSoulz: Feels disgusting just thinking about it.

SpyKid: "Viper has the tactical skills of a fetus"

HardCarry: oh shit

Ragnarok: I don't think anyone has ever said that.

SpyKid: Oh sometimes people write in ones that they didn't voice outloud.

Snecc: So, who said that?

Sage-->Cypher

HealthPack: Cypher please.

InfoCenter: I still can't believe this is you.

HealthPack: Raze insisted that it be written down

HealthPack: It wasn't suppose to be an insult.

HealthPack: I was just a little irritated.

InfoCenter: Uh huh.

HealthPack: I'll give you 10 dollars.

InfoCenter: ...

HealthPack: 15?

InfoCenter: Let's make it 18.

HeatlthPack: Deal.

Group Chat

SpyKid: I suddenly cannot read.

Ragnarok: What a shame.

HardCarry: wat

Killjoy: Type the letters out.

Killjoy: I'm kinda curious.

SpyKid: It seems like i forget my fine motor functions

SpyKid: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Snecc: ...

SpyKid: Bye now.

Creeper: f

HardCarry: f

HotBoy: f

Killjoy: f

DerpShot: F

DarkSoulz: I'll make sure he doesn't die.

Brimstone: Thank you, Omen.

HotBoy changed Brimstone's name to Brimmy.

Brimmy: why

Brimmy: the fuck

DarkSoulz: I'm not helping that.

HotBoy: gotta blast

HardCarry: f

Creeper: f

Killjoy: f

SoulSnatcher: F

Killjoy → Raze

Killjoy: You win this one, but this is nowhere near over.

Raze: of course <3

Killjoy changed their name to TrueGenius.

Raze: Killjoy suits you better, tells what youre best at

Raze changed their name to FunGenius.

TrueGenius: That’s what actual brain power and work gets you.

FunGenius: it also gets you 0 fun and a nonexistent sense of humor

TrueGenius: Nice word, did you look that up?

FunGenius: yeah up your ass

TrueGenius: Wanna test out some new tech?

FunGenius: thought you were never gonna ask

Chapter Text

Jett --> Cypher

WindAssassin: hey u

CameraMan: Yes?

WindAssassin: i need a favor

CameraMan: For?

WindAssassin: look we both know that you know what i know i'm gonna say

CameraMan: What?

WindAssassin: you know my secret

CameraMan: ...

WindAssassin: look just don't tell anyone

CameraMan: Don't tell anyone...

WindAssassin: look pretty boy and Raze would make fun of me until the end of time

CameraMan: Right.

WindAssassin: just don't tell them 

WindAssassin: please

CameraMan: Don't tell Phoenix and Raze....

WindAssassin: don't tell anyone about my hentai collection!

WindAssassin: NO ONE

CameraMan: ....

CameraMan: Does this include KillJoy?

WindAssassin: yes!

WindAssassin: NO ONE

WindAssassin: she would see me as uncool

WindAssassin: she would think i'm a weirdo

WindAssassin: she would see why i act like 

WindAssassin: well me sometimes

WindAssassin: why i say things

WindAssassin: all my secret references

WindAssassin: the way i look really secluded sometim

WindAssassin: GASP

WindAssassin: OMG

WindAssassin: OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

CameraMan: ?

WindAssassin: she does those things sometimes...

WindAssassin: she's a fellow horny weeb...

WindAssassin: omg

CameraMan: You can't be sure.

WindAssassin: you right

WindAssassin: you have secrets

WindAssassin: could you find out?

CameraMan: Um, how exactly?

WindAssassin: the way you always get secrets

CameraMan: ...

Cypher --> KillJoy

Cypher: So...

KillJoy: Oh hello Cypher

Cypher: Hey

Cypher: So, i saw something interesting...

KillJoy: Like what?

Cypher: I can see why you would want your hard drive deleted.

KillJoy: ...

Cypher: Look i won't tell anyone.

KillJoy: Really?

Cypher: No.

KillJoy: Cypher please.

KillJoy: No one can know

KillJoy: I just joined 

KillJoy: They would think less of me

Cypher: More than we already do?

KillJoy: What?

Cypher: What?

KillJoy: Please don't tell anyone about my Cheesy Willy Wonka files.

KillJoy: I beg of you.

KillJoy: please

Cypher: Not that one.

KillJoy: wat

Cypher: The other one.

Cypher: The 'hentai'

KillJoy: Oh

KillJoy: Well that ones not as serious so

Cypher: So if someone were to know...

KillJoy: NO

KillJoy: I don't want anyone knowing about that as well!

KillJoy: The other is just on a higher priority list...

Cypher: Right...

Cypher: Well if you got something to keep my mouth shut...

Cypher: Think of anything hentai with what i just said and i will make sure the whole world knows

KillJoy: I won't!

KillJoy: What do you want?

Cypher: When i need a favor, make sure you are avaliable.

Cypher: Also some cash.

KillJoy: I can do that.

Cypher: Great!

Cypher: Bye now.

Cypher --> Jett  

CameraMan: You two are some sick individuals.

WindAssassin: you mean

CameraMan: Yes.

CameraMan: KillJoy also has an acquired taste for certain sinning material

WindAssassin: yes!

WindAssassin: finally someone like me

CameraMan: I'm proud of you in a very little way.

WindAssassin: thanks Cypher

WindAssassin: how do you manage to get all these secrets

CameraMan: ....

CameraMan: I'm just that good...

WindAssassin: damn

WindAssassin: well excuse me

WindAssassin: i got a friend to talk to

Jett --> KillJoy

Sword: hey

Shield: ?

Sword: i know

Shield: wha

Shield: i told Cypher to not tell anyone about my Wonka files!

Sword: what

Sword: wonka hentai?

Sword: i'm talking about being a horny weeb

Shield: oh

Shield: wait!

Shield: you watch hentai too!

Sword: YES

Sword: i'm just like you

Shield: You're just like me!

Sword: it's really anyone can see

Shield: Wait you also watch barbie movies

Sword: hell yeah

Sword: pretty boy does too!

Sword: oh shit don't let him know i said that

Shield: Noted.

Sword: ...

Shield: ...

Shield: I'm just like you.

Sword: i think thats true

Shield: You're just like me

Sword: yes i can see

Sword: we take responsibility

Shield: We take responsibilty!

Shield: We carry through

Sword: we carry through

Shield: Do what we need to do!

Sword: do what we need to do

Sword: yes i am a girl like you

Shield: Yes, i am a girl like you!

Sword: nice

Shield: Awesome.

Sword: but this isn't enough

Sword: quick give me yaoi that would make me sad

Shield: Banana Fish

Sword: one with the supernatural

Shield: Blood Link

Sword: an iconic one

Shield: Love Stage

Shield: Scratch that

Shield: Love Shuttle

Shield: Scratch that

Shield: Given

Sword: protect main character

Shield: BJ Alex

Shield: That boy is too good for anyone

Sword: period

Sword: a funny one

Shield: Personally, i like 19 days.

Sword: same

Sword: currently on

Shield: My Suha

Sword: and finally

Sword: garbage yaoi

Shield: Any with horrid anotomy

Shield: Like 90s anotomy

Shield: Boku no pico

Sword: ...

Shield: Oh and Killing Stalking

Shield: Yoonbum x Therapy

Sword: preach

Sword: okay well be prepared

Sword: i'm heading over right now

Shield: Make sure to bring snacks

Chapter Text

Main group chat

HardCarry: has anyone seen the boi

SpyKid: The boi?

Angel: Who?

DerpShot: Me?

Creeper: no your talking about phoenix right?

HardCarry: yeah

HardCarry: where is that little shit

DerpShot: Maybe hard at work?

Angel: Training?

SpyKid: I don't see him on any cameras...

DarkSoulz: Probably in his room then.

Ragnarok: So Cypher finally stopped having cameras in private rooms.

SpyKid: Only bedrooms.

SpyKid: Don't doubt me.

Creeper: im calling him right now

SoulSnatcher: Is Phoenix not feeling well?

Killjoy: I hope it's not contagious.

HotBoy: aw look at everyone caring for me

DarkSoulz: Only Jett and Raze were remotely concerned.

HotBoy: can't change my mind!

HardCarry: anyway what happened to ya bruh

HotBoy: nothing much

HotBoy: my stomach just feels terrible

HotBoy: and i feel gassy

HardCarry: hmmm sketchy

HardCarry: looking at you viper

Snecc: If it was my poison, he would be a lot worse.

SoulSnatcher: That is a fair fact.

Brimstone: Did you eat something that was spoiled?

DerpShot: Or a delayed injury from mission?

Angel: I can come take a look at you, if you'd like.

HotBoy: sure

Creeper: according to the internet, your pregnant

Killjoy: HUH

Ragnarok: And that's where i officially clock out

Brimstone: Raze. No.

Snecc: If you don't react, hopefully she'll understand how wrong she is.

HardCarry: you might be on to something raze

DarkSoulz: Why are we here?

SpyKid: Just to suffer?

SoulSnatcher: What do you mean 'on to something'?

HardCarry: hey im just trying out all possibilities

Brimstone: Try out the possibilities that are actually possible!

HardCarry: eh

Creeper: pfft

Snecc: It is biologically, scientifically, impossible for Phoenix to be pregnant.

HotBoy: omg i'm going to throw up!

HardCarry: ha see

SpyKid: I think he means from laughing so hard.

HotBoy: Jett, Raze, you two are unbelievable!

HardCarry: in a good way

SoulSnatcher: A bad way.

Snecc: Increasingly bad way.

Angel: He's not pregnant.

Creeper: aw

Angel: I just checked up on him.

Angel: Just bloated is all.

HardCarry: oof too much mcdiggies

HotBoy: yeah...

Killjoy: What do you mean by 'aw', Raze?

Creeper: i mean imagine a little phoenix

Ragnarok: No

Snecc: No.

Brimstone: NO

SpyKid: No thank you.

DarkSoulz: I'd rather not.

HardCarry: aw a tiny flame

Creeper: AW

Brimstone: No. Stop.

DerpShot: I'm at the drugstore, i got the medicine.

Angel: Thank you, Sova.

HotBoy: i think we all learned something valuable today

Snecc: Jett and Raze are beyond help.

SoulSnatcher: ^

HardCarry: you mean the BEST aunts ever

Creeper: yeah

HotBoy: no

HotBoy: not to eat that much in one go

Ragnarok: Or to eat healthier.

HotBoy: ...mmm i don't know about that.

SpyKid: That Sova is a fast walker.

Killjoy: The drugstore is 20 minutes.

Angel: He's a man on a mission.

DerpShot: Yes.

SoulSnatcher: So, i shouldn't sign Jett and Raze up for biology classes?

Brimstone: Way ahead of you.

Ragnarok: I feel bad for those teachers.

Chapter Text

Main group chat

Brimstone: Alright. Everyone alert. It's weekly review time.

HardCarry: you mean brim gives his opinion of everyone time

HotBoy: and we have to listen.

Killjoy: Obviously, he's above us.

Ragnarok: We are, but lowly humans to Brim.

Angel: Oh, how we pray to him for review time.

DarkSoulz: Speak to us. Brimstone, god.

Creeper: you guys are nerds

Brimstone: I agree.

Brimstone: Anyway. Let's start.

Brimstone: Phoenix.

HotBoy: :)

Brimstone: Your combat score is above expectations. Good job.

Brimstone: But your tactical score is second lowest. Needs work.

HotBoy: :(

SoulSnatcher: May i ask who has the lowest?

Creeper: it's me

Derpshot: I will gladly help you with any training.

HardCarry: how is yours lowest

Creeper: apparently, turning corners and blowing stuff up is not enough

HotBoy: rubbish.

Killjoy: ?

HotBoy: bullshit for the uncultured.

Snecc: Continue, Brimstone.

Brimstone: Sage, try to communicate to teammates more. There seems to be confusion with certain actions by you.

Brimstone: I can see you have gotten better with your wall placement.

Angel: I think i communicate very clearly.

HardCarry: mmmmmmmmmmmm

Ragnarok: ....

Creeper: :T

Killjoy: Well...

Angel: Am i not clear enough?

Ragnarok: As clear as dirty water.

Creeper: you do shout simple words

Killjoy: With no direction or names

HardCarry: one time you created a wall right in front of me while i was dashing

Angel: I said wall...

HardCarry: bruh

Snecc: Brimstone.

Brimstone: Right.

Ragnarok: Like that, Sage.

Angel: >:(

Brimstone: Sova, your shots are exceptional and scores are amazing.

DerpShot: Thank you, Brimstone.

Brimstone: Viper, you do need to work on teamwork and communication skills.

HardCarry: wait how come sova didnt get anything bad

DarkSoulz: He doesn't do anything to warrant it.

SoulSnatcher: That's fair.

SpyKid: My footage doesn't lie.

DerpShot: >->

Killjoy: Viper is clear in her instructions. 

Brimstone: Communication as in telling teammates information in the field.

Snecc: Some of the 'information' is obvious.

Brimstone: It affects the scores.

Snecc: So, i should start spouting information that anyone over 60 IQ should know.

DarkSoulz: Before anyone responds, that's a rhetorical question.

Snecc: Thank you, Omen.

Brimstone: Cypher, more active movement. Not just recon assist.

SpyKid: I'm just letting the young ones have the spotlight.

Creeper: we would do that anyway

HardCarry: ^

HotBoy: ^^

Killjoy: ^^^

SoulSnatcher: ^^^^

Creeper: Reyna

HotBoy: stop!

HardCarry: raze shut up

SpyKid: Why do you tempt death so often?

DarkSoulz: I say let her do it.

Killjoy: NO.

SoulSnatcher: Yes, Raze?

Creeper: brim told me not to.

Creeper: so you don't look a day past forty!

HotBoy: when do you listen to Brim?

Creeper: money

HardCarry: damn

Brimstone: Reyna, you need to be more of a team player.

Brimstone: Your scores are one of the highest. Good job.

SoulSnatcher: (*Nail polish emoji*)

SpyKid: Miss independent.

Creeper: that's why i love her

DarkSoulz: That's not the correct order of lyrics.

Killjoy: How do you know?

DarkSoulz: You know the answer.

Brimstone: Killjoy, your tech malfunctions are a danger.

Killjoy: Working on that. Sorry!

Brimstone: Other than that, your scores are good.

Creeper: imagine your tech not working lol

Killjoy: At least i'm smart.

Creeper: your tech says otherwise

Brimstone: Breach, be more cautious of your teammates.

Brimstone: You hurt them more than the enemy.

Ragnarok: Got it.

Ragnarok: You bastards, stay out my way.

DerpShot: >->

Snecc: Great start.

Brimstone: Omen, your scores are exceptional.

Brimstone: You, also have supported your teammates on the field. Well done.

SpyKid: Nicely done.

Snecc: Congratulations.

DarkSoulz: Thanks.

HardCarry: nothing negative for omen

HotBoy: proud of you, Omen!

DarkSoulz: Aw shucks.

Killjoy: How did you manage to make that seem deadpan?

Ragnarok: It's a talent of his.

Brimstone: Jett, surprisingly there's nothing negative.

HardCarry: REALLY

Brimstone: Except for your alias.

HardCarry: why did you type it like that

HardCarry: you didnt type anyone elses like that

HardCarry: you dickhead

Angel: What's wrong with her alias?

Brimstone: I'm not accepting 'Wendy Breeze' as a alias.

HardCarry: whaaaaaaaaaa

Creeper: that's awesome tho

SpyKid: Actually, i like that.

SoulSnatcher: I did chuckle.

DarkSoulz: Okay, i'll say that's pretty good.

Ragnarok: Classic Jett.

HotBoy: nice alias!

Hardcarry: righT!

Killjoy: I say, let her keep it.

Snecc: I'll agree to that.

DerpShot: It is creative!

Angel: I agree! Brim!

Brimstone: Okay...

Brimstone: Jett, your alias is approved.

DerpShot: That, also means no negative report.

HardCarry: YEAAAAAAAA

HotBoy: WOO

Creeper: Im so proud!

Killjoy: Mcdiggies to celebrate?

HardCarry: yes!

SpyKid: Sure, why not.

Brimstone: Hold on.

Brimstone: Raze, you need to stop turning corners to blow everything up.

Brimstone: Your scores suffer because of this.

Creeper: okay!

Creeper: no promises tho!

HardCarry: Brim join us for food!

Creeper: health be damned

Angel: I don't know about that...

Brimstone: Alright, i'll join.

HardCarry: yes!

HotBoy: let's gooooooo

Ragnarok: I call shotgun!

Killjoy: What about Brimstone?

Killjoy: He didn’t get a review.

DarkSoulz: He does the review.

HardCarry: Brim you need to give best girlie Jett some slack

Ragnarok: Be cautious of your molly.

Killjoy: Please review your tech more!

Creeper: and smile more

Brimstone: Anything else?

SpyKid: Can you drive this time?

Chapter Text

Brimstone: Raze, Killjoy, and Viper.

Brimstone: You three will be a team instead.

HardCarry: aw my buddy

Creeper: *sniffle sniffle*

Snecc: May I ask for a different team?

Killjoy: Why?

Snecc: You and Raze are distracting, to me and yourselves.

Killjoy: I will make sure she doesn't distract me!

DarkSoulz: ...

SoulSnatcher: I'm getting crazy déjà vu.

Killjoy: What do you mean by that?

Angel: You get very distracted by Raze.

Ragnarök: VERY.

Killjoy: Okay, it's happened a few times. It won't happen again.

DarkSoulz: A few???

HotBoy: it's a little more than that.

HotBoy: and by little, i mean a lot.

DerpShot: Rome.

Angel: France.

DarkSoulz: England. Tokyo. Spain, TWICE.

SpyKid: That weird time in Amsterdam.

Killjoy: Okay! Okay. I get it.

Killjoy: I need to work on not feeding into her jabs.

SoulSnatcher: In Killjoy's defense, it's not easy.

Ragnarök: I don't see how. Just tune her out.

Brimstone: Pretend as if you lost your hearing.

Angel: Huh?!

Brimstone: It works.

Brimstone: Sometimes.

Creeper: you all act like i don't get serious when i need to.

SoulSnatcher: Only at the end or at the most difficult part of a mission.

SpyKid: Anytime other than that, we are tested with the highest level of patience.

HardCarry: you guys make it sound like hell

SpyKid: It kinda is.

Brimstone: Jett, you are no better.

HardCarry: :P

HardCarry: i know but im too adorable to be mad at

DarkSoulz: That's not a shared reality. That's a delusion.

HardCarry: D:<

Creeper: too bad for you guys!

Creepy: the missions don't change for acommadation

HotBoy: i think there's another 'c'

Creeper: acommacdation?

HardCarry: okay that was on purpose

HardCarry: but isnt it acomadate

Killjoy: HUH?

Creeper: that's diffinatly wrong

Ragnarök: Okay they have to be fucking with us.

HotBoy: nah Raze has spelt it like that before.

Creeper: ....is it wrong?

HotBoy: Diffintaely.

Snecc: Definitely.

DarkSoulz: Just say "for sure".

HardCarry: this is hilairous

Brimstone: Hilarious.

SoulSnatcher: Just say funny.

Creeper: okay okay so is porfessor not correct

Killjoy: Change the 'o' and 'r'.

Creeper: prefessor

Killjoy: NO. Professor. PROFESSOR.

SpyKid: Say teacher instead.

Snecc: And so, it begins.

HardCarry: why does grammar matter so much

HardCarry: as long as you guys know what im trying to say its cool

Brimstone: You're an adult. There's no reason to misspell simple words

Creeper: woah

Creeper: woah

Creeper: woah

Creeper: as someone who didn't learn English until a little later, it's not easy

Killjoy: I have to agree with her on this one.

Killjoy: It's not easy and I'm a genius.

Snecc: These words are grade school level.

HardCarry: ohhhhh im sorryyyy miss i am american and its my first language

Snecc: ....

Snecc: Jett, step into my office.

Hardcarry: never i have been so daringly horny and scared

HotBoy: wait are you actually going?

HardCarry: hell no

DarkSoulz changed HardCarry's name to Chicken.

Chicken: okay well i might now

Chicken: how dare you

Angel: Jett, please don't.

DerpShot: They are baiting you.

Chicken: and its working

SoulSnatcher changed Chicken's name to Simp.

SpyKid: HAHA

Simp: the ahdacidty

Brimstone: Audacity

Creeper: like where do you say the 'u'

DerpShot: 'u'

Creeper: not the emoji

DerpShot: :(

Brimstone: It's silent.

Creeper: then just take that shit out

Ragnarök: Just say 'the nerve'.

Ragnarök: How did you manage to put a 'd' in there?

Simp: i just sound it out like people have been telling me to

SpyKid: When do you make another 'd' sound in audacity?

Simp: aw da ca dty

Snecc: ....

Killjoy: Um...

Angel: What the hell does 'dty' sound like?

SpyKid: Gasp!

HotBoy: Sage!

Angel: Forgive me, but how does that make sense.

Angel: Enlighten me, please.

DarkSoulz: Jett broke Sage.

Simp: finally

Simp: but no like there is a 'd' sound near the end.

Ragnarök: Where?

Killjoy: How?

DerpShot: What have you heard that makes that sound?

Simp has sent a voice message.

SoulSnatcher: They are saying it wrong.

Brimstone: There's a 't' sound, not a 'd' sound.

Creeper: see, this is not simple

Angel: Jett, i will show you what i used to learn pronunciation.

Simp: but i don't wanna

Simp: ;-;

Angel: If i had to go through years of learning, you will too.

DarkSoulz: She's finally become her final form.

SoulSnatcher: We knew this day would come.

SpyKid: And we are so proud.

DerpShot: I'm not. I like nice Sage.

DerpShot: 'n'

Angel: I'm still nice.

Angel: Just not right now.

Simp: its because im asian isnt it

Angel: I'm also Asian.

Simp: its because im korean isnt it

Angel: ....

HotBoy: here lays Jett

Creeper: who flew too close too the sun

Simp: rip

Snecc: ‘Who flew too close to the sun’.

Chapter Text

Simp: are you guys ready to rumbbllleeee

DerpShot: I thought we were watching movies tonight?

HotBoy: we are

Simp: we are

Simp: but i know theres gonna be a fight about what to watch

Killjoy: Is there not an order already?

Simp: i dont think so

Brimstone: Well, everyone gets to pick a movie.

Killjoy: This is gonna be a long night.

Creeper: nah, most of the time people pick the same thing

SoulSnatcher: That's also why we make this a weekend long event.

SpyKid: You can come and go. You don't have to stay for all the movies.

Killjoy: Oh. Okay!

HotBoy: Viper, Omen, and Breach just come in for their movie choice then leave

Ragnarök: I can't stand being there for hours on end. Just watching.

Creeper: then sit

Ragnarök: Hope you like getting punched.

Snecc: I'm a busy person.

Snecc: I'm not wasting my time watching every single movie.

Killjoy: Fair enough.

Killjoy: Omen?

DarkSoulz: I don't have to explain myself to you.

Creeper: damn

Creeper: it's just a question

HotBoy: bro got too much sunlight this week?

Simp: quick cypher check him

SpyKid: Come to my room. I got knit-kits and puzzlesss.

HotBoy: woahhhh

HotBoy: that's pretty gayyyyyyyy

SpyKid: My apologies.

SpyKid: Come to my room, no homo.

HotBoy: ayy there you go

Creeper: boooooo

Simp: bring back the gay

Killjoy: We the people, demand it!

Viper ---> Omen

Sabine: Are you okay.

Sabine: We still need you for the protocol, so don't go disappearing.

Unknown: Worried you'd miss me too much?

Sabine: Good to know that you can dream.

SoulSnatcher: Give Cypher around 30 dollars and he would probably do it.

SpyKid: Nothing is worth changing my relationship with Omen.

Ragnarök: Okay...

Killjoy: Now THAT was kinda...

Killjoy: You know....

SpyKid: No homo.

Simp: TOO LATE

Simp: i ship IT

DarkSoulz: Ew, shut up.

Simp: (ᇴ‿ᇴ)

Angel: Can Sova and I watch our movie first?

Simp: (　`_ゝ´)

DerpShot: ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ

Simp: depends whats the movie

DerpShot: Spiderman: Across the Spider-verse

HotBoy: yes!

HotBoy: i wanted to watch that too

HotBoy: i'll vote Barbie with Jett

Simp: no one was suppose to know

Brimstone: We all would've figured it out.

Simp: >:T

Creeper: i'm voting for Nimona

HotBoy: ohhh good one!

Killjoy: I was going to say that. So, i'll go with Oppenheimer 

Ragnarök: That's definitely last.

Killjoy: Understood...

Snecc: I'll be there for that one.

Snecc: Though I'm choosing Resident Evil.

Ragnarök: I was expecting something scary.

Snecc: I trust Omen has that covered.

Creeper: are you saying Resident Evil is not scary

Simp: oh no

DarkSoulz: Scared?

Simp: no

Simp: bitchhhhh

DarkSoulz: I'm choosing Thanksgiving.

HotBoy: doesn't sound bad

SpyKid: I'm choosing Stopmotion.

SoulSnatcher changed DarkSoulz name to Nightmare.

Nightmare: Hm, fitting.

Creeper: what's stopmotion

SoulSnatcher: A horror movie.

Creeper: god damn it omen

Nightmare: What?

Nightmare: Cypher chose the movie.

Simp: you told him too!

Nightmare: ...

Nightmare: I'm not denying that.

Nightmare: But he could've said no.

SpyKid: True.

Creeper: evil

Creeper: both of you

SoulSnatcher: I'm picking Ballerina.

Angel: That one's interesting.

Ragnarök: I'm going with Rambo.

Brimstone: In that case, I'm picking Die Another Day.

SoulSnatcher: What's that?

HotBoy: 007 movie

Brimstone: Yes.

Simp: its oldddddd

Brimstone: Yes.

Angel: Okay.

Angel: If that's everyone, Sova and I are setting everything up.

Killjoy: Oh, we could've helped!

Simp: who we

SoulSnatcher: That was a very royal 'we' you used.

Angel: It's okay, Killjoy.

Angel: Sova and I were already here.

SoulSnatcher: What were you two doing in there?

DerpShot: We schedule movie weekend months ahead. Is it weird to set up early?

SoulSnatcher: I suppose not.

DerpShot: ╮(╯ _╰ )╭

HotBoy: your emojis are getting better

DerpShot: Thank you (ꈍᴗꈍ)

Simp: (≖ᴗ≖✿)

DerpShot: ╰(°ㅂ°)╯

Simp: ( •̀ᴗ•́ )و ̑̑

Ragnarök: Stop. Go DM each other.

Ragnarök: Weirdos.

DerpShot: You are just jealous, no?

HotBoy: OHHHH

Creeper: SNAP

Angel: Have you guys been corrupting Sova?

Simp: uh no

HotBoy: He's a strong independent boi!

DerpShot: ⊂((・▽・))⊃

Creeper: slay!!!

Brimstone has sent the Movie Weekend Schedule.

Brimstone: Starting in an hour.

SoulSnatcher: Don't leave snacks everywhere like last time!

4 movies later...

SpyKid: Interesting movie night.

Ragnarök: Didn't think I would like Barbie, but here we are.

DerpShot: Yes, it was more relatable than I thought.

Omen: Nimona too.

Creeper: Jett cried at both.

Simp: how dare you

Simp: im not about to be the only one outed

Simp: i know for a fact reyna AND phoenix cried

HotBoy: it was emotional, man

SoulSnatcher: You have no proof.

Creeper: what if we got some?

Creeper: Cypher watches everything all the time

SpyKid: Yes, fair.

SoulSnatcher: I guess there will be evidence as well as you and Cypher's dead body.

SpyKid: Nooooo, thank you.

Angel: I'm dragging a sleepy Sova to bed.

Angel: Goodnight, everyone.

DerpShot: Can I sleep in your bed tonight?

Angel: My goodness, wrong chat Sova.

Creeper: OHHH

HotBoy: Ayyy my boi Sova!

Ragnarök: Atta boy, Sova

HotBoy: Lol jinx

Simp: i knew it

Angel: NO. No.

Angel: We are just friends.

Ragnarök: Sharing a bed is not a "friend" activity.

Angel: We are more than friends but not romantically.

SoulSnatcher: Friends with benefits?

Angel: NO.

Killjoy: I was going to mention, you and Sova were cuddled up the whole time we watched the movies.

DerpShot: Friends cuddle.

Killjoy: I don't know friends that cuddle THAT long while being close.

Creeper: lol what friends do you have?

Killjoy: Shut up.

Killjoy: Anyway, I'm not accusing anything.

Killjoy: I just thought it was...something…

Angel: We have a very strong relationship, BUT it’s not a dating thing…

Angel: Cypher, Omen. Do either of you have a way to explain it?

SpyKid: It's like someone that you couldn't imagine experiencing certain things without.

Nightmare: You don't want to date them or any of that romantic junk.

Nightmare: You are just okay knowing they will be there to listen and share with you.

SpyKid: You want to go through life with them, happy that they are happy.

Creeper: that all sounded sus as hell

HotBoy: I think i get it

Killjoy: I don't...get it...

SpyKid: Well, here's to hoping you all get a BFFWIMLAPS.

Hotboy: Sova, you confirm this, yeah?

Angel: He fell asleep about 5 mins ago.

Simp: wtf is that a disease or something

Nightmare: Best Friend Forever Who Is More Like A Platonic Soulmate.

Snecc: Just say Platonic Soulmates.

SoulSnatcher: Didn't know you were paying attention to the "Distraction from my work".

Snecc has gone offline.

Ragnarök: Wait. We can do that?

Chapter Text

Killjoy --> Viper

Killjoy: Hey, I need your help.

Viper: I may provide that.

Killjoy: Okay, okay.

Killjoy: No one is coming to my presentations and it's coming to a breaking point.

Viper: ...

Viper: I have renown knowledge and i am a respected scientist.

Viper: And you're asking me for help getting people to your presentations...

Killjoy: Hold on!

Killjoy: Listen

Killjoy: There's a lot

Killjoy: And i mean A LOT

Killjoy: Of information for everyone's gadgets

Killjoy: THAT I BUILD

Killjoy: That would prove very useful to know.

Killjoy: But................

Killjoy: ALMOST NO ONE IS SHOWING UP

Viper: Right.

Viper: I help you how, exactly?

Killjoy: Well, you're second in command AND you are one of the more consistent audience members i have noticed.

Viper: Really?

Viper: Interesting.

Killjoy: Yes. You, Omen, and Sova are the most consistent.

Viper: Cypher watches just as much as i do.

Killjoy: He does!?

Viper: Yes, we watch the same camera feed.

Killjoy: Why didn't he tell me that he preferred watching?

Viper: ...That's his whole...shtick...

Killjoy: Okay. Fair.

Killjoy: So, i just need help with everyone else.

Killjoy: First, the hardest one. Brimstone.

Killjoy: I'm quite hurt that he doesn't show up often.

Viper: Do you send Brimstone the presentation?

Killjoy: Why would i do that?

Viper: He's a tactile learner. If he can't hands-on learn, then visuals are the next best thing.

Killjoy: Oh.

Killjoy: That's nice to know.

Killjoy: Why do you know that?

Killjoy: IF i can ask.

Viper: It's obvious.

Viper: When you tell him about his bracer, he doesn't understand until he tries it a few times himself.

Viper: He tests it at least once a week.

Viper: He doesn't go to the presentations because he'll take notes the whole time and not understand a single thing.

Killjoy: Noted.

Killjoy: Well...

Killjoy: What about Jett?

Killjoy: And Phoenix.

Killjoy: Honestly, the trio in general.

Viper: Hmm.

Viper: Let Raze have some input and design the presentations from time to time.

Killjoy: Uh, ew!

Killjoy: She'll probably mess everything up!

Viper: This is for you, not me.

Viper: For Jett, provide food/snacks.

Killjoy: Are you serious?

Viper: She loves Choco pies, Carp Bread, and Instant noodles.

Viper: Also, those spicy shrimp chips, just in case.

Killjoy: Is that really all it would take?

Viper: For Phoenix, my best options are either...

Viper: Manipulate him into showing up.

Viper: Or make showing up a competition or something.

Killjoy: Do you always have low standards for the other agents?

Viper: Not always.

Viper: Once in a blue moon, their combined brain cells prove my second prediction right.

Killjoy: I'm not included, right?

Viper: Sometimes. More yes than no.

Killjoy: Ouch. That kinda hurt.

Viper: I'm a more or less good person, not a nice person.

Killjoy: Ah! What about Breach?

Killjoy: He's brash, stubborn, and assertive. 

Viper: Just put the presentation into an audio.

Viper: He'll eventually give it a try when he's working out.

Viper: Which he does quite often.

Killjoy: Viper, i love that you seem to know everything. 

Killjoy: I also hate it at the same time.

Viper: Reason?

Killjoy: Well, i thought we could brainstorm together on how to get everyone there.

Killjoy: Which would eventually lead to showing you my WIP presentations.

Killjoy: And you would give me advice, we would swap notes...

Killjoy: Which i suppose you don't have time for.

Viper: I could.

Viper: As you say, just ask.

Killjoy: Hah, i should've seen that coming.

Viper: It's okay if you didn't anyway.

Viper: For your sake, i won't type what I'm thinking, with everything before.

Viper: I will say this.

Viper: You, Killjoy, are an engineer. 

Viper: An impressive one at that.

Viper: I am a scientist.

Viper: And at this point probably more than that.

Viper: We are not on the same level.

Viper: That's okay. That's a given.

Viper: Focus on your skills and why you are here.

Viper: As Reyna in the burn book once said, "Focus on your shitty skills and I'll focus on not caring."

Viper: Take out the shitty part, obviously. 

Killjoy: Omg, how did i miss that quote?

Viper: It's on Page 15.

Killjoy: …Thank you, Viper.

Killjoy: You care much more than you let on.

Killjoy: And not in an Omen way.

Killjoy: You actively make sure to seem like you hate almost everybody.

Viper: I suppose.

Viper: Whatever conclusion you came to, I'm sure you'll find someone to agree with it.

Killjoy: Awwwwww

Killjoy: That was the nicest way to say "shut up, you're wrong."!

Viper: You are starting to disgust me.

Killjoy: I'm glad.

Killjoy: Also, speaking of Reyna, what solution could you have for someone like her?

Viper: Hm...

Viper --> Reyna

Mommy: Reyna, come to Killjoy's presentations more often.

Mamacita: Oh! Well, if you're saying it, then

Mamacita: No.

Mommy: Don't make this harder than it needs to.

Mamacita: Then stop asking me.

Mamacita: Problem solved!

Mommy: Reyna.

Mamacita: Viper.

Mommy: You've never been to one, so don't say 'It just wasn't working for me'.

Mamacita: Oh of course not.

Mamacita: It's more like

Mamacita: I don't want to entertain that la pesada.

Mommy: Will bribery work this time?

Mamacita: No. Not this time.

Mommy: What if i sit next to you at the presentations?

Mamacita: Perdone?

Mommy: Sitting close to each other.

Mommy: Elbow length, close.

Mamacita: For every single one?

Mommy: At least the ones I'm there for.

Mamacita: Deal.

Viper --> Killjoy

Viper: She'll be there, mostly.

Killjoy: How did you manage that?!

Viper: I'm right below Brimstone.

Viper: Vice captain.

Viper: I use my authority.

Viper: Simple.

Killjoy: Wow!

Killjoy: You are really cool, Viper!

Viper: Yes, yes.

Viper: Now, i need to get back to my work.

Viper: Try not to bother me.

Killjoy: Of course.

Killjoy: I understand that when I'm focused on work too.

Killjoy changed their name to BestEngineer.

Killjoy: Viper.....?

Viper changed their name to BestScientist.

BestEngineer: Thank you.

BestScientist: Stop messaging me.

BestEngineer: Okay.

BestEngineer: Bye!

Chapter Text

Brimstone sent Secret Santa List.

Brimstone: Everyone click this link once.

Brimstone: You'll press the button. DO NOT REFRESH AT ANY POINT.

Brimstone: It will tell you who you'll secret santa for.

Brimstone: Obviously, don't share this with anyone.

Brimstone: And before anyone says anything about it.

Brimstone: Yes, i expect at least half of you to not keep it a secret.

Creeper: fingers fucking crossed!

DerpShot: This is exciting, no?

HotBoy: hmmmm

Brimstone: Nothing. Say Nothing.

Brimstone: At least say something where I'm not.

SpyKid: Well this is will be an interesting Christmas.

Nightmare: A holly jolly Christmas, you could say.

Killjoy: I'm actually excited! I can't wait!

Christmas Day

A big open area, which everyone worked together to make festive, slowly filled with the agents. There were about three couches, facing each other with a Christmas tree facing one couch. Sage yawned as she leaned against Sova's shoulder, he gave her a tiny shake trying to wake her up in response. Cypher cradled a mug with the text 'You won't see me drink this with my mask on', which he was wearing. Viper sat between Reyna and Omen, wearing a santa hat, yay festivities. Jett raced into the area and dive bombed into the couch, too excited about what gifts people came up with. Breach and Raze entered at the same time, only Breach sat down and got comfy while Raze also dives into the couch.

Once everyone arrives, Brimstone nods to Raze, who then puts on Christmas music as background noise. It was an interesting remix of holiday classics, but no one seemed to mind.

Brimstone grabs his gift which is badly wrapped with sleds on it. "I guess I'll go first..." he sighed, looking left and right at everyone before stopping on Sage. She perks up as she grabs the gift, she smiles and slightly bows her head.

"Thank you Brimstone." she sits up opening the gift carefully, wanting to award some of Brimstone's hard work of wrapping. When she finally uncovered the front she saw two boxes combined with each other. She gasps softly as she looks at the package. It's a jade green crystal tea set with a matching dining set as well. "Brimstone..." Sage starts while admiring the pictures, "I..I don't know...Thank you." Sage gives three little pats to the box.

"Yeah, i know you've been wanting a set...It's fitting." Brimstone finishes with "Well, you're next."

Sage carefully puts down her gift and grabs an almost seamless wrapped gift. "My gift is for..." Sage fades off with a dramatic pause, "Sova!" Sova actually looks caught off guard, she actually managed to not spoil the secret. Sage somewhat hears Jett making a comment about them, but she doesn't want to give even a little attention to anyone else. She plops the gift softly on Sova's lap, giggling out a 'Merry Christmas' as he starts to tear it open. He gives a full teeth smile as he holds up a medium sized box with the latest camera to come out. "Open it. The box." Sage encourages him, not being able to keep her smile down. He opens the box and takes out a camera that seems to be custom-made, his owl, bow, and signature on it. He can't bring himself to say anything, he quickly puts the camera in the box and moves the box, to give Sage the biggest hug. She laughs, rubbing his back "You're welcome," he gives her a squeeze in response.

After he realizes everyone is watching, he clears his throat and gets up to walk over to Killjoy. He gives her a small box with a big yellow bow on top, "Ah, So it's you Sova, well consider my curiosity peaked." She states, taking the lid off the top. She looks in to see a plushie, but not just any plushie. No, this was her favorite plushie from her favorite game! His fur texture was soft, his googles were removable, and he's turret was separate. "Ah! My little donger!" she squealed, holding him up in the air. When Sova told her there was one more thing, she quickly looked back down into the box. At the bottom was a disc case named 'Skyrim' on it, she picks it up and turns it around inspecting it further. "Skyrim?" she questioned, a bit skeptical.

"Try it out. I think you may like a change of pace from your usual games." He smiled confident in his selection. Killjoy nodded, awkwardly getting up when Sova gestured for a quick hug.

Now it's her turn and she was excited for the reaction to her gift. She thought long and hard about what could be a perfect gift, not to mention she also worked long and hard on it. She gets up, oozing confidence and pride as she activates her bracelet and within seconds a robot zooms into the room, opening up to reveal his present. It's an old looking sewing machine, but anyone can see that she made this herself and it was probably highly futuristic. "It comes with a storage capacity, an alarm, and connects to radio!" she lists off, seeming way more excited than Omen who didn't move an inch the entire time. Killjoy's enthusiasm started to deflate, seeing no reaction at all "Ya-Ya know, because you knit and you can probably...sew...too..." her voice fading off.

Omen gets up to look at it closer before Killjoy could fidget or start speaking again, he hums in thought then patting Killjoy on the shoulder, "Thank you, Killjoy. I really want to test it out." Omen nods, Killjoy sitting down, feeling elated inside that she got approval.

Omen teleports next to Raze with his hands behind his back. Raze laughs, "No way! Darkness and shadows is my secret santa! What is it? It's a sweater, isn't it!" Omen rolls the eyes he doesn't have. He reveals his gift, holding it out in-front of her. It was a brand new set of headphones with a gray, cool metal frame which is great for decorating. She reaches out to give the ear padding a feel, she gives a big grin when she feels how nice and soft the padding was. This was custom made for long usage and lots of moving around, she even spots a small engrave that says 'Merry Christmas you chaotic gremlin - Omen-zinho'. She quickly grabs Omen before he realizes and gives him a big hug, even sway him left and right, though it last shortly as he teleports back to his spot.

Raze slowly turns around to look at Viper with a stupid grin on her face. Viper just closes her eyes as she takes a long inhale, then practically huffs an exhale. Raze plops a box on her lap and sing songs a 'Tada' with jazz hands. Viper opens the top and the sides of the box fall down to reveal what looks to be a coffee machine.

"It's for all your drinking needs!" she pitches, taking out different colored paper. "Coffee, tea, water...though i couldn't figure out alcohol yet..." she rubs her head, before continuing with high energy "but when i do, then we'll really par-ty!" Raze then gives Viper the colorful paper, looking at it Viper can only guess the doodles are Raze and mugs. "Those are free refills that i will get you," she wiggles her brow, "free of charge!" Viper nods her head in consideration, it wasn't exactly what she expected and that was a good thing.

"Thank you Raze, i actually like this." Viper admits, Raze opens her arms for a hug, however Viper holds out her hand for a handshake which Raze takes happily. 

Viper already rolls her eyes as she approaches Jett, who has a surprised look on her face. Viper doesn't look at her as she holds out the gift which isn't even wrapped. Jett looks at it and gasps at the gift, it's an album of one of her favorite artist groups. When she grabs it she realizes there's more than one and under one is two more albums of artist groups she adores.

"How-How did you even get these? Are you serious? Oh my god!" she excitedly spouts. "This album hasn't even come out yet!" she jumps up, as she opens them and sees the signatures of every member.

"Yes, well i pulled some strings...seeing as you are happy, i take that this is a good present." Viper gets koala hugged by Jett much too her protest, but she didn't fight her off with any effort.

After feeling satisfied with the hug, she hops off Viper and dashes to Brim. She holds out her hands towards Phoenix, who then tosses her a very small box. She catches it, then presenting it to Brim with a goofy smirk on her face. He sighs at her antics, thanking her as he opens the box. He opens it to see a picture frame with two tickets on top of it, picking the tickets out and examining them, he sees their for an Orioles game in early February. Jett gives him two more tickets as well, these being Raven tickets, he looks at her with a confused face.

"Just in case, you liked football and not baseball" she smiled, probably forgetting which one he liked more.

Brimstone gave a small smile and patted Jett's shoulder, "It's perfect...thanks, kid." he chuckles when Jett scoffs.

"Old man!" she retorts, face puffing up in retaliation. She zips to her seat after that, now dealing with Phoenix, Raze, and Killjoy laughing at her.

Brimstone appointed Cypher to go next because of his agent number. Cypher grabs his gifts and goes to Reyna, "Gifts for the empress." he hands them over to her, as if she was a queen.

"More than one? Good." Reyna chuckles, playing into the 'queen' title. She opened the first gift, inside was a set of care products and a small make-up set, which Reyna approved of. Next, a wrapped box with a ribbon holding it together, she unties the ribbon and opens the box; inside is a set of work-out clothes with a water bottle to match. Reyna nods, impressed that she doesn't dislike the gifts so far, also with this being Cypher she had high expectations. She opened the lid of the third gift box, only to peek for 3 seconds before closing the box. Immediately, some were wondering what it was, but Reyna just stared at Cypher; as he just shrugs, she could strangle him. Later, she'll threaten him and demand how he knew what sweets she'd liked or how he knew she liked sweets in general, that was a guilty pleasure she doesn't want anyone knowing. Reyna quickly thanks Cypher, giving him a look that could injure; he sits back down, feeling cheeky (and terrified) that he got a reaction from her.

Reyna skips the suspense and quickly gives Phoenix his gift. She sits down, knowing he'll love it, especially since she asked Jett for advice and no one knew him better than her. Phoenix carefully opens it like a bomb or trap will set off at any moment.

"I'm not Raze, open it." Reyna lightheartedly snaps, eye twitching as she hears Raze giggle. When he opens the box, he pauses taking a few seconds to process what he's seeing before lighting up (figuratively).

"No way! Are you serious?!" He smiles wide, softly touching the fabric. Jett has already pulled out her phone to record him with his gift, which were a pair of shoes seemingly custom-made for Phoenix. "Reyna! How did you get something like this?!" he questions, already taking one shoe out to examine it.

Reyna shrugs, "i know someone who makes shoes...so why not." she explains as if this was common knowledge. "Thank you Reyna! You're a bloody legend!" Phoenix praises, taking out the other shoe. "I know. I'm glad you like it." she says, prideful in her choice.

After Phoenix calms down from his excitement, he gets up and sits next to Breach, nonchalant in his movement and features. "Before i do anything, i do wanna say, my girl Raze helped out." he explained, giving Raze a thumbs up. Raze finger guns at Phoenix in response, then repeats the action towards Breach.

Breach makes a hum of increased interest, "I'm even more invested now." he smiles, looking at Phoenix. The fire radiant simply reaches into his jacket pocket and takes out a set of keys, car keys to be exact. Phoenix hangs the keys in front of Breach, wiggling them a little.

Breach takes them from Phoenix, looking closely at them, Phoenix whispers, "it's in the cargo bay," even though everyone could hear them.

Breach turns to look at Phoenix, seemingly deadpan, then suddenly he wraps his arm around Phoenix; pulling him in to rub his head. "Tack tack, Phoenix!" he laughs, turning to Raze, "You too, lillsyrran!" he lets go of Phoenix after a few more seconds. 

"Alright Cypher!" Breach announces, taking out a small box, unwrapped. He tosses it to Cypher, who thankfully catches it, blinking a few times at Breach's forwardness. He looks in the box and takes out two containers with 'TEA' written on both. Cypher holds them both up, somehow looking confused with his mask on. "That one i stole from China..." he points at one, then to the other, "That one is from Singapore...stolen." he says, sounding prideful in his crimes.

A few agents sounding concerned in his confession, except Raze who questions in a more excited tone. Killjoy goes over to Cypher, summoning her scanner, she knows Cypher is just as curious as her. When both scans are complete she looks at screen, "Yellow gold tea buds and Da Hong Pao?" she reads off, confused.

Cypher whips his head to Killjoy, nearly losing his usual composure, he looks between the two small containers now.

"Merry Christmas!" Breach laughs, ignoring the concerns of his fellow teammates, especially Brimstone.

Main Group Chat

Simp: awesome night

Simp: merry christmassss

HotBoy: Reyna MVP

HotBoy changed SoulSnatcher's name to QueenMVP.

QueenMVP: Awww, you're so kind.

Creeper: viper, i'll let you know when i'm gonna upgrade the drink machine

Snecc: Noted.

Snecc: Thank you again.

Nightmare: Breach, Cypher is too cowardly to say thank you because he might squeal.

SpyKid: "It never comes from your enemies, it comes from those you trust the most."

SpyKid: I thought we had something special.

Nightmare: He deserves to know.

SpyKid: Oh by way, Killjoy.

Killjoy: Omen, just DM'd me.

SpyKid: Damn it, Omen.

Creeper: fight fight fight

Ragnarök: Fight it out.

HotBoy: My money's on Cypher

ReynaMVP: My money is on Omen.

DerpShot: I vote Omen.

Angel: Sova. Don't gamble in their shenanigans.

Angel: But, I'm going with Omen.

Snecc: Omen as well.

Creeper: omen-zinho!

Simp: yeahhh probably omen for me

SpyKid: Well, excuse me. I didn't know you all had little faith in me.

QueenMVP: Against Omen?

Snecc: Yes, little faith.

SpyKid: Oh, how you all pour salt in my wound.

Brimstone: Oh, i forgot to mention.

Brimstone: We may have a new recruit coming soon.

Brimstone: We don't have many details.

Brimstone: Happy Holidays.

Brimstone goes offline.

Ragnarök: What a legend.

Chapter Text

Viper has duplicated 'Group Chat'.

Viper: Alright, shit stains.

Viper: Let's get right to it.

Viper: Someone has been in my lab.

Viper: Which no one goes into without my permission and supervision.

Viper: So, someone start talking or everyone starts choking.

Phoenix: woah woah

Killjoy: I would love to help but I've been in my lab most of the day.

Viper: Then shut up.

Brimstone: Viper, don't kill me, but

Brimstone: Are you sure someone was in there?

Viper: I have everything in the same spot, so yes.

Viper: My chemicals are exactly 2 inches apart and in alphabetical order.

Brimstone: ...

Brimstone: Whoever did it, please come out.

Brimstone: There will be repercussions, a suspension, maybe more.

Viper: Death.

Brimstone: No.

Jett: dont cypher got cameras everywhere

Jett: who did it cy

Cypher: One moment.

Sage: Why didn't you start speaking, Cypher?

Cypher: I wanted to see how far everything could burn.

Sova: That's cruel.

Cypher: Teehee.

Viper: Start speaking.

Cypher: ...

Cypher: Wait one more second.

Killjoy: ?

Cypher: Well...

Cypher: This is soooo fun...

Cypher: 5 of my cameras are down...

Cypher: AND 3 of my secret cameras...

Omen: Oh no, here we go.

Cypher: At first, i didn't care.

Cypher: But now i'm curious

Cypher: Bye now.

Cypher has gone offline.

Jett: damn

Omen: We won't hear from him for a few hours.

Viper: Some of you haven't spoken yet.

Viper: To hell with Protocol, I'm not above killing a few of you.

Reyna: ^

Sage: Reyna, don't condone this.

Reyna: Someone touched a women's things.

Reyna: This is completely reasonable.

Phoenix: more like you both are crazy

Viper: Phoenix, where were you at the break of dawn?

Phoenix: sleeping

Phoenix: like a normal person

Jett: preach

Jett: oh and before you ask

Jett: no i wasn't in your lab

Jett: i was in the smaller one

Sage: Wait, in sector C?

Sage: That's my lab.

Sage: What were you doing in there?

Jett: you have a lab

Sage: More of a medical room, but what were you doing in there?

Jett: ...

Jett: better question

Jett: why do you have a snack drawer in a medical room

Sage: JETT

Jett has gone offline.

Viper: I didn't want to be prejudicial to certain people, immediately, but

Viper: Raze and Breach.

Viper: The two criminals.

Raze: WOW

Breach: You forgot notorious.

Raze: that is fucked up

Raze: but nah

Raze: i was recovering bots gone wrong

Breach: Recovering?

Raze: yeah i was tinkering with Killjoy's bot and it malfunctioned

Raze: started zipping around the halls with explosives on it

Brimstone: You know what I'm about to say.

Killjoy: That's where my bot went?!

Killjoy: You little rodent!

Raze had gone offline.

Viper: I'm just doing to poison people for the answer.

Brimstone: Please don't.

Brimstone: We'll get to the bottom of this.

Brimstone: Omen, Reyna, do you both know anything?

Reyna: I was at the sanctuary. Got back last night.

Omen: I don't have any information.

Reyna: Aren't you here all the time?

Reyna: Are we sure Cypher, the one who takes things, didn't do it?

Omen: I don't like what you're implying.

Reyna: That Cypher is a thief?

Omen: If he did, i would've said something to Viper.

Phoenix: ain't you guys super close?

Omen: I can kill you easily.

Phoenix has gone offline.

Omen: I'm in his office right now.

Omen: He's spiraling a little, trying to figure this one out.

Viper: Breach, you didn't speak.

Breach: I had just finished a small mission.

Breach: But Brimstone just wanted me away from him for a while.

Brimstone: You broke five doors.

Brimstone: For no reason.

Breach: I wouldn't call a dare, 'no reason'.

Sova: I just ran into Sage, she told me what was going on.

Sova: Sorry, i was training.

Breach: I thought you and Sage were attached at the hip.

Sova: Huh?

Breach: Like around each other all the time.

Sova: Well not all the time.

Sova: We do things by ourselves.

Reyna: But also share a bed.

Sova: She has a really soft bed...

Breach: Bet she also got other soft things.

Sage: OMG

Sage: Breach!

Brimstone: Breach, be professional, please.

Breach: Okay.

Breach has gone offline.

Sova: O-O

Sova: Uh, but as i was going say

Sova: I went into your lab to get something Brimstone needed.

Viper: What.

Brimstone: Huh

Sova: The test results you wanted to see.

Sova: From mission 041.

Brimstone: Ah.

Brimstone: Yes, i remember actually.

Sova: I put it in your dropbox, did you get it?

Brimstone: I'll check.

Viper: I think poisoning everyone is the better ending here.

Reyna: Preach.

Sova: Viper, I'm sorry for intruding in your personal territory.

Sova: I understand any punishment i receive.

Brimstone: I got it. Thank you, Sova.

Brimstone: And I'm also sorry Viper.

Brimstone: I should've informed you, at least, through text.

Viper: Ugh...

Viper: You're lucky, Brim.

Viper: I won't kill anyone.

Viper: For now.

Killjoy: You realize some of us are still here, right?

Viper: For.

Viper: Now.

Killjoy: Sorry.

Sova: I'll try to make it up to you, Viper!

Viper: Sure, whatever.

Sage: Reyna, don't say anything.

Reyna: How did you know?

Sage: I could feel it.

Viper: Anyway, I'll be in my lab for the rest of the day. No one bother me.

Viper has deleted 'Group Chat(1)'.

Burner Phone - 01000010 01110010 01100101 01100001 01100011 01101000

B: Phew, you were scaring me there for a sec.

P: me!?

P: the whole thing was scary

P: Viper was ready to watch me choke and enjoy it

P: weirdly hot, but terrifying

B: It's fine. We are in the clear.

P: what about watchman?

B: By the time he finds out, he won't care enough to say anything.

B: They already 'solved' it.

B: I already told R.

P: yeah she was giggling about the whole thing.

P: this shit was scary

P: i don't know how this is a walk in the park for you both

B: I sweated a little.

B: But thankfully, Windy seemed to be enough of a distraction.

B: Wasn't a part of this, but I'm not complaining.

P: she always got my back, even when she doesn't know it

B: Sounds like an op for anyone at any time.

P: that's what i just said

B: Anyway, just be normal and don't go spilling anything.

B: Raze and I will bring you down with us.

B: Or at least i will.

P: don't worry

P: i'm coollll

P: so cool it burns

B: ...

B: Yeah, okay.

B: I'm serious though.

P: i got this, i got this

B: >->

P: oh so you do use emotes

Burner Phone - 01000010 01110010 01100101 01100001 01100011 01101000 disconnected

Chapter Text

Viper has duplicated 'Group Chat'.

Viper: Alright, shit stains.

Viper: Let's get right to it.

Viper: Someone has been in my lab.

Viper: Which no one goes into without my permission and supervision.

Viper: So, someone start talking or everyone starts choking.

Killjoy: I would love to help but I've been in my lab most of the day.

Brimstone: Viper, don't kill me, but

Brimstone: Are you sure someone was in there?

Viper: I have everything in the same spot, so yes.

Viper: My chemicals are exactly 2 inches apart and in alphabetical order.

Brimstone: ...

Brimstone: Whoever did it, please come out.

Brimstone: There will be repercussions, a suspension, maybe more.

Viper: Death.

Brimstone: No.

Raze: never admit to a word weh she say

Raze: and if she claim a yuh, tell her, baby no way!

Jett: but she caught me on the counter

Omen: It wasn't me

Breach: Saw me banging on the sofa

Cypher: It wasn't me

Phoenix: i even had her in the shower

Sova: It wasn't me

Cypher: She even caught me on camera ;)

Reyna: It wasn't me

Sova: She saw the marks on my shoulder

Jett: it wasnt me

Sage: Heard the words that I told her

Killjoy: It wasn't me

Reyna: Heard the screams getting louder

Sage: It wasn't me

Viper: OKAY SO I'M KILLING ALL OF YOU

Brimstone: ...

Brimstone: She stayed until it was over

Viper has gone offline.

Chapter Text

Group chat: The three musketeers

TheBomb: lol Phoenix what was that

Blaziken: i tripped

Blaziken: but why are you on your phone?

TooOP: yeah youre on lookout

TheBomb: nothing is happening

TheBomb: oohhhh

TheBomb: there's a pretzel stand two blocks away

TooOP: mmmmmmm

TooOP: hotboy cover my role real quick

Blaziken: or you take care of it and I get pretzels

TooOP: hell no

TooOP: youre super slow

TooOP: ill be there and back like that

Blaziken: ye but it's your job

TooOP: <-<

Blaziken: >.>

Viper --> Jett

Mamba: Where are you?

CoolWhip: on the way

CoolWhip: like seconds away

Mamba: The problem is you should have been here beforehand.

CoolWhip: dont worry i got this

The Three Musketeers

Blaziken: ILL be RiGhT ThErE aNd BaCk

TheBomb: lol

TheBomb: she made it in there right?

Blaziken: ...i'm not sure.

TheBomb: sooo, we might die

Blaziken: she's not THAT slow

Blaziken: ...

Blaziken: right?

Sova --> Viper

Sova: Viper, i don't mean to distract you.

Sova: But the sound is increasing in speed and volume.

Sova: Is there a problem with something?

Sova: How much time do we have, realistically.

Sova: ....

Sova: I'm going to call for emergency.

Viper huffs out a staggered breath, checking her thigh; it looks to only be a graze, honestly she had a few close calls in the span of 2 minutes. Jett wasn't here and with only her on the site, the clones had an easy takeover, however she's smart and injured 3 of them and now there's 2 left. She takes the limiters off her gas system, she always came prepared and if she had to consume this place in gas, so be it. As she gets up, Clone Phoenix and Clone Sage rises their guns, only for Jett to fall down on Clone Sage and quickly wind kick Clone Phoenix in the gut. Viper takes this chance to run to the spike, taking out the diffuser, they only had about 15 seconds before it goes off. As she's one more step to the spike, Clone Phoenix raises his pistol quickly and managing to shoot the diffuser out of Viper's hand. Instinctively, Viper moved back once the shot hit the object in her hand, it was sent flying and Viper couldn't retrieve it in time, however she hears a whooshing sound as she sees Jett dashing towards the object.

"I got it!" She strained, as she just barely grabbed it. She drops down on the spike and immediately starts the defuse process, "This, is nothing..." she huffs, thin sheet of sweat starting to occur on her skin. She closes her eyes as she hears the beeping continue, "Come on..." she prays, and then nothing. No more beeps.

"Yes! Suck it, losers!" Jett exclaims, turning to look at them, but the clones were gone. They seemed to turn tail and run whether it was being blown up or failing the mission, either way a lose-lose situation for them. 

Viper stands up, putting her limiters on, turning to glare at Jett. Her phone pings in her safety belt, she takes it out and checks the messages, it could only be 3 people if there was a noise notification. 

Brimstone --> Viper

Captain: Viper

Captain: VIPER

Captain: God PLEASE RESPOND

Captain: viper

Captain: please respond

ViceCaptain: Okay. I'm fine.

Captain: WHAT HAPPENED

ViceCaptain: Stop. We are coming out.

ViceCaptain: I'll explain then.

ViceCaptain: Let's just get out of here.

Captain: The copies?

ViceCaptain: Escaped.

ViceCaptain: Unfortunately.

Captain: It's fine.

Captain: Let's get out of here.

Debrief Chatroom

Jett, Viper, and 4 others have entered.

Brimstone: Okay, Viper and Sova have told me what happened.

Brimstone: But i will hear your sides as well.

Raze: we were at our positions and i was bored so i saw Phoenix trip and texted him

Phoenix: and we started messing around

Raze: i spotted a pretzel stand and we started talking about it

Jett: and yeah i shouldve stayed at my position

Brimstone: What occurred was a HUGE risk to the mission and other agents.

Brimstone: This is unacceptable and makes it clear that you 3 are not taking this seriously.

Raze: yeah...sorry Brim...

Phoenix: yeah, our bad

Jett: it wont happen again

Brimstone: I'm sure. I will be giving punishments.

Raze: ah man

Phoenix: Brim, come on man

Brimstone: No, there is no way around this.

Brimstone: This is to show what happens when agents go against orders.

Jett: i stopped the explosion tho

Brimstone: That's not the point.

Brimstone: Raze, you'll be on a probation for a week.

Raze: okay i understand...

Brimstone: Phoenix, you'll be on a probation for 2 weeks.

Phoenix: right, got it

Brimstone: Jett, you'll be on a week suspension.

Jett: WAT

Jett: are you kidding me! a week!

Jett: this isnt fair

Brimstone: You left your post, told no one, put Viper in danger, AND gave little concern for it all.

Jett: they get a damn probation

Jett: while i get suspension

Jett: SUSPENSION

Brimstone: No one made you disobey orders.

Brimstone: You put the whole mission in danger.

Jett: this is fucked up

Jett: i literally saved the day

Jett: at the end of it i did what i needed to

Jett: come on!

Brimstone: It'll be 2 weeks.

Jett: BRIM

Sova: Jett, please stop while you are ahead.

Jett: you know what whatever

Jett logs off

Brimstone: Debrief dismissed.

Raze, Phoenix, and 2 others have left.

Killjoy --> Raze

TrueGenius: Hey, let me know when the debrief is over.

FunGenius: i'm on probation

TrueGenius: Well, i could use some extra hands.

TrueGenius: I know what i'm doing, i would just like some extra hands.

FunGenius: open the door nerd

Phoenix --> Jett

Thing 2: Hey Jett don't sweat it

Thing 2: i know you're probably suuuuppper upset

Thing 2: but it's not the end of the world

Thing 2: it'll pass before you know it

Thing 2: don't beat yourself up too much

Thing 2: you're probably not on your phone right now but that's cool

Thing 2: i'll visit ya room soon and we can just chill

Phoenix --> Cypher

Horse: is she cool Cypher?

Bishop: Mmmm...

Bishop: She's...breathing

Bishop: Very angrily.

Horse: damn it Jett

Bishop: I've never seen her this angry.

Horse: i should go talk with her right?

Bishop: That's up to you and how much you care.

Horse: would you talk with Omen while he's angry?

Bishop: Do you care for Jett similar to how I care for Omen?

Horse: yeah, no question

Horse: she's my best bud

Horse: we lift each other up, ya know

Bishop: Then go, little star.

Bishop: Have patience with her.

Horse: thanks

Chapter Text

Pheonix --> Jett

Thing2: heyyyy

Thing2: a response would be a total pro gamer move

Thing2: goated action

Thing1: dude you can stop

Thing2: ayyy there you are!

Thing2: come on Jett, it's been days

Thing2: i know you're really gutted about the debrief

Thing1: and i dont need your pity bro

Thing1: its not on you

Thing1: its on me

Thing1: its whatever even tho i saved the day

Thing1: thankless job

Thing2: Jett i'm not trying to pity you

Thing2: i'm just worried

Thing1: i know

Thing1: fuck im sorry phoenix

Thing1: i didnt mean to take my shitty feeling out on you

Thing2: nah nah, their not shitty

Thing2: i get it, i would react the same if i were you

Thing2: but you're not wrong

Thing2: i do feel bad for not standing up for you

Thing1: well i fucked up so you would be on the wrong side

Thing2: but we mates, we in it together

Thing1: so we lose together?

Thing2: ...on second thought...

Thing2: you got that

Thing1: wow asshole

Thing2: hey, your L, not mine

Thing1: L friend fr

Thing2: why you booing me, i'm right

Thing1: LOL

Thing1: ...thanks bro

Thing2: anytime mate

Thing1: alright i will try to talk with brim

Thing1: no promises

Thing2: damn taking another L?

Thing1: blocked

Jett --> Brimstone

Jett: hey listen

Jett: dont respond to anything im about to say

Jett: i will stop if you do

Jett: ...

Jett: i know i fucked up

Jett: i know it wasnt okay for me to act like that

Jett: i just feel like my accomplishments do nothing for you

Jett: like sure i deserve my punishment

Jett: pisses me off but whatever

Jett: what really made me angry was not getting a good job

Jett: not even a job well done

Jett: i just got reprimanded and suspended

Jett: for saving the day

Jett: sure it was close and we couldve died

Jett: which is bad

Jett: and i know that

Jett: i also feel like saving the day was also bad

Jett: because i got nothing for that

Jett: you probably wont think anything of this and thats cool

Jett: im taking accountability for my actions

Jett: bad and good

Jett: ew why the hell did i do this

Jett: ignore everything i said

Jett: i take it all back

Jett: boomer

Jett: bye

Brimstone --> Viper

Captain: Viper, Jett just messaged me.

ViceCaptain: Congrats?

Captain: No, i don't know how to respond.

ViceCaptain: ...

ViceCaptain: So, you're asking me? To respond?

Captain: No, i need advice.

ViceCaptain: I don't think I'm best for this field of conflict.

ViceCaptain: Rare for me, but it happens.

Captain: At least, you're honest...

ViceCaptain: Well, this seems to be important to you. So, I'll take it seriously.

Captain: Thank you, Sabine.

ViceCaptain: I did nothing, really. But anytime, Liam.

Brimstone --> Sage

Mollyed: Sage, Jett just messaged me and i don't know how to respond.

Walled: What did she say?

Mollyed: Things i wouldn't believe if i didn't see them myself.

Mollyed: I think she just opened up to me.

Walled: Aw! I'm so proud of her!

Walled: I think you should open up too.

Mollyed: I do not like that idea.

Walled: Don't be childish, Brimstone.

Mollyed: I wouldn't know what to say.

Walled: Just imagine it's not Jett.

Mollyed: I'm too old for this shit.

Walled: You and Jett are more alike than i thought.

Mollyed: Sage, that was rude.

Mollyed: I think Raze calls it based.

Walled: No, i think it's called capped.

Walled: Brimstone, how hard could it be to just say how you feel in response?

Mollyed: I don't know, it's not something I'm accustomed to.

Mollyed: Don't get me wrong, i want to because i care.

Mollyed: I care so much about that kid, hell about all of them. I lost people before. I decided to bring them into this job. Even if they agreed, i feel responsible for them. If they got killed, it would be on me. Even you bring them back, i would be ashamed that their captain failed to keep them safe. 

Mollyed: Jett was excellent, she did manage to stop the spike in time. I'm impressed with her quick thinking and reaction speed, she always improves. But she can also get hurt, she's not Phoenix, who can't *technically* die. She can and it's frustrating to see her run in like she can't. 

Mollyed: Reminds me of a certain idiot who thought the same thing. I can't let her be me when i was young. Can't let that be any of those kids. She's the best duelist we got, at least to me.

Walled: Aw! Brimstone!

Walled: That was so sweet!

Walled: See how hard was that?

Mollyed: ...

Walled: Just text all of that.

Walled: Easy.

Walled: I'm rooting for you!

Sage --> Jett

HerSupport sent 2 screenshots.

HerSupport: He's going to butcher his actual meaning.

HerSupport: So, just in case, here's what he really means.

Brimstone --> Jett

Brimstone: Listen, kid.

Brimstone: There's a lot i didn't say and for good reason.

Brimstone: I want you to know what you did was a high risk and could've killed you and Viper.

Brimstone: And i don't know if Sage can bring you back from a spike explosion.

Brimstone: I'm not taking that risk when it comes to you or the others.

Brimstone: I need to know you take this seriously.

Brimstone: Your life is on the line, constantly.

Brimstone: Your life means more than a mission.

Brimstone: So don't be stupid and take unnecessary risk.

Brimstone: This is not going how i planned it.

Brimstone: Listen kid, and if you say anything i will delete everything.

Brimstone: You're great, better than great.

Brimstone: And you always manage to get even better.

Brimstone: So i don't need you to constantly prove that.

Brimstone: I already know this.

Brimstone: So, do me a favor and be a part of the team?

Brimstone: It won't be the same without you.

Jett changed Brimstone's name to Oldman.

Oldman changed Jett's name to Kid.

Kid: ew you can do better than that

Kid: AH FUCK

Oldman: You had one job.

Kid: HA

Oldman: Damn it

Chapter Text

Sage --> Skye

Sage: How is the new phone?

Sage: I hope the set-up wasn't difficult.

Skye: Nah, it was easy

Skye: Trying to think of a name was the hardest part

Sage: I like Skye.

Sage: It fits you very well.

Skye: Thanks mate

Skye: So I'm part of the team now

Sage: Yes, i will give you all of the others contacts.

Sage: And make sure you are added to the group chats.

Skye: What's the team like anyway?

Skye: Can't beat around the bush now that I'm here

Sage: The team is motivated, energetic, and all around good at what they do.

Sage: And it's never a dull moment with them.

Sage: They are what i would believe a found family is.

Skye: That's...cool

Skye: That seemed really sweet

Sage: Yes, they all mean something to me.

Sage: (*^‿^*)

Skye: I'll be a bit nicer then

Sage: Oh no, don't do that.

Skye: Don't be nice?

Sage: No, some of them can be 'feral'.

Sage: So, be kind with a limit.

Skye: ...Can i punch them?

Sage: As a medic, no blood.

Sage: As a team member, ask Brimstone.

Skye: Right!

Group Chat

Brimstone has added Skye.

Brimstone: Welcome to the team, Skye.

Brimstone: Everyone introduce yourselves by agent number.

Brimstone: I'm Brimstone, captain/commander, any overall questions or concerns come to me.

Snecc: Viper, second-in-command, Lead scientist.

Snecc: Don't bother me unless necessary.

Nightmare: Omen, always here. I can't sleep, drink, or eat.

HotBoy: damn you didn't need to make that depressing

Killjoy: Lead engineer, i take care of all the gear.

Killjoy: I have presentations about said gear, please try to attend.

Creeper: ew

Killjoy: You're ew.

SpyKid: Information broker, secret holder, funniest on the team.

HotBoy: >.>

SpyKid: Jett said it.

Simp: funniest old man on the team

SpyKid: *Crying in the club*

Killjoy: *World's smallest violin*

DerpShot: Sova, Initiator, i like owls.

Skye: Good to know.

Simp changed Derpshot's name to BirdBoy.

BirdBoy: Owls are my favorite. :(

Simp changed BirdBoy's name to OwlMan.

OwlMan: :D

Angel: You know me, I'm the healer for the whole team.

Angel: Also maybe third in command?

Brimstone: Basically.

Snecc: We need to discuss that.

Creeper: also is the mommy of the group

Angel: Raze...

Creeper: not in the sexy way

HotBoy: ANYWAY

HotBoy: name's Phoenix, best of the best and highest of the scoreboard always.

QueenMVP: Lies.

HotBoy: i'm at the top this week!

QueenMVP: For now.

Skye: Let's try to work as a team, yeah

Skye: Don't need a lone hero messing up missions

Simp: ...

HotBoy: cool we cool

Creeper: yikes

Snecc: Jett, you're next.

Simp: jett, fast, duelist

Killjoy: Major yikes.

Brimstone: Reyna.

QueenMVP: I'm Reyna, actually the best, i consume souls.

QueenMVP: But only the enemies, not yours.

Skye: Thanks?

QueenMVP: You're welcome.

Creeper: e aí, it's ya girl! i like blowing shit up

Creeper: then act like i don't know nobody

Creeper: also the bane of Reyna's existence

QueenMVP: Don't remind me.

Ragnarök: Breach, i also like destroying shit and basically the owner of the gym.

Skye: You work out?

Ragnarök: Of course, gotta keep this build somehow.

Skye: You hike?

Ragnarök: Sure, why not.

Skye: Gnarly!

Angel: Introduce yourself, Skye!

Skye: I'm Skye, a radiant: i use my powers over nature to reanimate my wooden animals

Skye: And i can heal, not like Sage, but you'll live.

Creeper: hell yeah!

Skye: So don't be shy to ask me for healing.

Simp: so nature elsa

Skye: I am allowed to punch, right?

Brimstone: Um, i don't think so.

Snecc: If we don't see it, then we won't know.

Skye: Alright!

Simp: just let it go

Nightmare: Here we go again.

Ragnarök: Fight! Fight! Fight!

Creeper: cypher get the camera!

Chapter Text

Skye: Quick question for someone, anyone.

Simp: yerrrrr

Creeper: what's up

QueenMVP: This might be entertaining.

Skye: Does Cypher have cameras everywhere?

Simp: i fucking hope not

HotBoy: pretty sure he does

HotBoy: except bathrooms

Skye: Well, isn't that an invasion of privacy?

QueenMVP: Just threaten him or beat him up.

QueenMVP: It's what i do.

Skye: Has it always been like this?

Skye: Why are you all so casual about it

Killjoy: What can we do? We don't have HR.

Skye: Brimstone's in charge.

Killjoy: He doesn't answer any calls, i swear he prefers voicemail.

HotBoy: i mean it's not that serious

HotBoy: it's not like he's a pervert or something

Skye: He watches this whole building and more, constantly through cameras without explicit consent.

HotBoy: when you put it like that...

Creeper: okay so it sounds bad

Creeper: BUT

Creeper: makes for good target practice :D

OwlMan: I also don't like Cypher constant watching.

OwlMan: It's unsettling.

Ragnarök: ^

Ragnarök: I kinda agree.

Ragnarök: But i also don't care as much.

Ragnarök: I got nothing to hide.

HotBoy: bro what if you're naked or doing something embarrassing

Ragnarök: I got nothing to hide.

Ragnarök: One time, i'm pretty sure i found a camera after i showered and gave Cypher a whole show.

HotBoy: YOOOOOOO

Simp: woah breach chill chill

Killjoy has pinged SpyKid.

HotBoy: we can do that?

Killjoy: Can you confirm this?????

SpyKid: It haunts me til this day.

Simp: DAMN

Skye: Cypher, can you not have cameras watching me in my own privacy?

Skye: It's invasive.

SpyKid: I'll think about it.

Killjoy: That basically means no.

SpyKid: Everyone seems to betray me.

Angel: Cypher, Skye is asking you nicely to not watch her in private areas.

SpyKid: I know, i can read.

Angel: -_-

Angel: So, can you KINDLY respect her wishes?

Creeper: not Sage with the all caps

QueenMVP: I knew this would be entertaining.

SpyKid: ...

Angel: Cypher, I am ASKING you to kindly RESPECT Skye's wishes.

QueenMVP: Pop off, Sage.

SpyKid: As you wish.

Simp: wait what

Simp: cy you deadass right now?

SpyKid: They'll be taken down.

Angel: Thank you, Cypher.

Angel: I truly appreciate you.

Angel: :)

QueenMVP: Sage, when did you become so compelling?

Creeper: reyna you are the true simp

Simp: ^

HotBoy: i mean, i don't blame Reyna

Simp: ewww

Simp: you a simp too

Skye: Thank you, Cypher. 

SpyKid changed Skye's name to NatureCalling.

Simp: hell yeah cy

Simp: join in the name change team

Simp: we keep it fresh and fun

Creeper: nah i say we keep it small

HotBoy: fair

Brimstone: Thank you for resolving this issue, Sage.

Angel: Of course.

HotBoy: damn took you long enough

Brimstone: I can't always check my phone.

Brimstone: There's a lot of other things i have to do.

Brimstone: Like run this circus, that is Valorant Protocol.

Simp: i call acrobat

Killjoy: Are you calling us clowns, Brim?

Brimstone: Take what i said however you want.

Brimstone: Within reason.

Creeper: can we vote sage for HR

QueenMVP: ^

Simp: ^^

HotBoy: ^^^

OwlMan: ^^^^

Angel: I'm not so sure about that...

Snecc: ^^^^^

Angel: Viper, please don't.

HotBoy: Sage, i'm reporting Jett for yesterday at practice

Simp: report phoenix for being a bitch

HotBoy: reporting her for that too

Creeper: reporting kj and reyna for crushing my vibe

QueenMVP: Put in the report that i also crushed your ribs.

Creeper: you seeing this sage?

Killjoy: I have over 50 reports of Raze, distracting me on the job.

Creeper: those are invalid

Creeper: you like that i distract you

Angel: Please stop. This is unnecessary.

SpyKid: Can HR undermine reports?

SpyKid: That's quite insensitive of you.

Nightmare: Sounds like HR.

OwlMan: >->

OwlMan: You both are much more insensitive than Sage.

Nightmare: Is favoritism reportable?

Nightmare: There's a lot of that here.

Snecc: Aren't you and Cypher the same way?

Nightmare: We have near the same chain of command.

Nightmare: Neither of us is going to lead anything.

Killjoy: Wait.

Killjoy: Does Omen count?

Killjoy: HR stands for human resources.

Nightmare: Sage, i would like to report Killjoy for racism.

Simp: but youre a wraith or something

Simp: would it even count

Nightmare: I'll go higher than HR.

Nightmare: Reporting oppression in the workforce.

Brimstone: HR can handle your issue.

Brimstone: I'll set up a system.

Angel: Brim! You have other things to do!

Angel: Just like you said, right?!

Brimstone: Can't reply, busy working.

Brimstone has gone offline.

Simp has changed Brimstone's name to Coldstone.

HotBoy: i could go for some icecream right now

Creeper: lets gooooo

OwlMan: Can i join?

HotBoy: sure

Simp: bring me back some

Creeper: of course girlie!

Simp: (＊๑˘◡˘)

Omen --> Cypher

DonnieDarko: Are you actually going to take the cameras down?

Paranormal: Hahahaha. No.

Paranormal: I'm just going to change the placement.

Paranormal: Maybe make them smaller.

DonnieDarko: I figured.

Paranormal: Am i a pervert for having cameras everywhere?

DonnieDarko: As long as it's not sexual.

Paranormal: That's what i thought.

DonnieDarko: Just don't be a weirdo.

Paranormal: Only for you.

DonnieDarko: Ew.

DonnieDarko: I'm taking this to HR.

Chapter Text

Ragnarök: Raze, are you okay?

Ragnarök: Shit wrong chat.

Creeper: i'm good

Creeper: sova got me sick

HotBoy: how do you know it was him?

OwlMan: I'm sick right now.

Angel: Sova, you shouldn't be on your phone right now.

OwlMan: I can't fall back to sleep.

Simp: didnt you grow up in the icy tundra?

Simp: how the hell do you get sick

SpyKid: I don't think weather has anything to do with sickness.

Simp: like sova is a hunter though

Simp: hes caught at least half of everything

Snecc: Do you know what a vaccine is?

Simp: i dont believe in that stuff

Snecc: You said that just to bother me.

Simp: (≖ ͜ʖ≖)

HotBoy changed Snecc's name to Doc.

Creeper: what's up doc?

Simp: whats up doc

Simp: damn it raze

Creeper: i can't even laugh without coughing

Creeper: this sucks

Creeper: i wanna go hommmmmeeeeeeee

Simp: hommmmmeeeeeee

HotBoy: hoommmmmmmeeeeeeee

QueenMVP: I think they want to go home.

Doc: It's better to just rest here.

Doc: You'd waste the time resting by traveling.

OwlMan: Sorry Skye, i won't be able to attend woodcraving this afternoon.

NatureCalling: It's alright. Maybe next time.

Simp: im also so sick all of a sudden

Simp: cough cough covid

Simp: sneeze black plague sneeze

Simp: diarrhea vomit vomit

HotBoy: i'm glad you're not in theatre

Simp: stfu

NatureCalling: Maybe i could put my healing buds in some hot water, make a tea of some kind.

Creeper: that sounds disgusting

Doc: Without knowing the extent of your powers, it could be dangerous.

QueenMVP: What do you mean by dangerous?

Doc: A number of reasons.

Coldstone: To avoid spreading it

Coldstone: Everyone is to keep distance from Sova and Raze.

Coldstone: Omen has agreed to take care of any contact necessary tasks.

Angel: Omen?

Creeper: what a twist

Killjoy: Didn't see that coming.

NatureCalling: Taking one for the team! Nice one, Omen!

Nightmare: Eh.

Nightmare: I don't get sick so.

Simp: why agree to help?

Nightmare: I only make contact if necessary.

Nightmare: It's not like I'm watching them.

SpyKid: Nurse Omen, you are needed in sector B.

HotBoy: lol Omen where's the nurse outfit

Nightmare: That's sus for you to ask.

HotBoy: Touché.

Creeper: ooooooo

Creeper: nurseeee

Creeper: i need helpppp

Creeper: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )

Nightmare: No you don't.

SpyKid: Already failing your nurse duties?

Nightmare: With a non-existent smile on my non-existent face.

HotBoy: Cypha why don't you help out?

HotBoy: you're covered top to bottom so no exposure

SpyKid: If it wasn't for the info, money, and laughs, i wouldn't talk to half of the protocol.

Nightmare: What a mood.

Simp: you both are just two old gay dads

SpyKid: There's definitely two people who fit that better.

Ragnarök: Who

SpyKid: I think you already know.

Ragnarök: You won't say it.

SpyKid: Oh?

Simp: SNAP

HotBoy: here we go again!

NatureCalling: I kinda want to see this.

Creeper: Film it for me!

Ragnarök: Well Cypher?

Ragnarök: You don't got the balls.

SpyKid: You don't either.

SpyKid: We know Brim has them.

Simp: OOOOOOOOOOOO

HotBoy: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

Killjoy: I got the camera!

OwlMan: Omen, could you bring me some soup?

Nightmare: On it.

OwlMan: Thank you.

OwlMan: (シ_ _)シ

Creeper: ooo me too!

Chapter Text

Killjoy: How do you say someone is bad in a indirect way?

Creeper: bad as in skill or personality?

Killjoy: ...The first one...

NatureCalling: Probably shouldn't ask in the chat with everyone in it

Killjoy: Oh no, I'm playing a video game while i wait for my robots to update.

Creeper: likely story.

Simp: my trash can seems to like you, game recognize game

Ragnarök: I would say you're shit, but even that has a purpose.

HotBoy: no hacks, no scripts, just straight ass

QueenMVP: Next time i need useless air breathers, i'll call you.

NatureCalling: I'm assuming this is how most of you show love.

Angel: Yes.

OwlMan: It's always weird to experience.

OwlMan: Jett once said to me that my aim was bad.

Simp: noooo

Simp: i said damn sova no headshot

OwlMan: How are those two statements different?

Simp: you sniped 12 people

OwlMan: So i should've gotten twelve headshots?

OwlMan: I'm only human.

QueenMVP: She's saying you did very well.

OwlMan: ???

OwlMan: Thank you Jett?

Simp: no problem

HotBoy: what the hell if that was me you would've called me out my name

HotBoy: cheers Jett

Simp: youre welcome you whore

HotBoy: bruv

Simp: well i cant call sova a whore

Simp: i cant call half the team a lot of things

Simp: they take stuff too seriously

SpyKid: How do the kids of today normally take those kinds of words?

Simp: its about how the relationship is with the person

Simp: but usually just another insult back

Creeper: phoenix doesn't want people judging him

Simp: sounds like a certified pussy

HotBoy: rude

Simp: omen!

Nightmare: You sound like a certified pussy.

Simp: my man

HotBoy: sounds like i got a better one than yours

Angel: Guys, please.

Coldstone: Please don't make me put on restrictions.

QueenMVP: We're all adults here.

QueenMVP: Why is this a problem?

Coldstone: Because all it takes is one time for them to fly off the handle.

Coldstone: Inappropriate jokes from time to time, sure.

Coldstone: But if i let them happen all the time, things would get weird.

HotBoy: he's not wrong

Creeper: yeah

Creeper: the dating but not dating people DMs probably get weird

OwlMan: Are you referring to Sage and I?

OwlMan: And Omen with Cypher?

Creeper: uh yeah

Creeper: who knows what you guys be sending each other

Nightmare: We send dick pics.

Angel: Omen, omg no.

Simp: i almost choked on my chicken lol

NatureCalling: Judging by the reactions, i'm assuming he's joking?

Nightmare: Well i don't have a body to have a dick to send pics of.

Nightmare: So i can only joke.

Simp: wait cy

Simp: do you send dick pics

SpyKid: Ew no.

SpyKid: This system has too many cracks to send pictures of anything.

Simp: if it was super duper secureeeee?

SpyKid: Still no.

Killjoy: Aw man.

Creeper: wth you weirdo

Killjoy: I didn't mean it the way you're thinking.

Creeper changed Killjoy's name to Weirdo.

Weirdo: Unhöflich.

Creeper: you shipping people again?

Weirdo: No.

Creeper: lies

Creeper: weirdo

Weirdo: Nutcase.

Creeper: nerd!

Weirdo: Louder nerd!

Creeper: nerd with wack fashion

Weirdo: Nerd that looks fugly ugly.

Ragnarök: Get a room!

Simp: shut up!

Simp: i was enjoying that

Ragnarök: What the hell, Jett?

Simp: omen?

Nightmare: In Jett terms: fight fight, then smooch smooch.

Simp: ayyyyy

QueenMVP: When did Omen become your announcer or whatever this is?

Nightmare: I just have a lot of time and Jett got suspended.

Simp: and the whole fucking world thinks i destroyed a city

Simp: so cant go anywhere really

Nightmare: We are bound buddies for now.

Simp: hell yeah!

NatureCalling: Jett, you got suspended?

Simp: yup for being awesome

Simp: everyone jealous of my super windy swagger

OwlMan: She went against mission procedures.

Angel: Jett.

Simp: ooooooo

Simp: actually nah

Simp: dont protect him

Simp: hes a grown man

OwlMan: Sage, Jett is right. I can handle myself.

Simp: yeah

Simp: hey sova

OwlMan: Yes? ´･ᴗ･`

Simp: shut up you half blind built like a snowman ass bitch

Creeper: tell him girl tell him!

Simp: period

OwlMan: I understand.

OwlMan: My bad.

Simp: ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ

NatureCalling: You went against procedures for what?

NatureCalling: Forced? Different opinion? Miscommuncation?  

Doc: Pretzels.

Simp: viper i will insult you too

Simp: just with a hint of sweat

Simp: dont test me

NatureCalling: Pretzels? That's it?

OwlMan: Weird, isn't it. 

HotBoy: yeah Raze spotted a pretzel stand and Jett and i got hungry

Simp: you dont have to involve yourself and raze

HotBoy: nah you ain't taking all the blame

Creeper: yeah it's much more fun being in trouble together!

Simp: (;﹏;)

Simp: these are true friends

SpyKid: Aw, that's sweet.

Angel: It is.

QueenMVP: How were the pretzels?

QueenMVP: I was curious about that.

Simp: pretty good honestly

HotBoy: sadly we couldn't try any because the spike also blew up

NatureCalling: People almost died over pretzels!?

Simp: before you say anything else!

Simp: REMEMBER THIS ONE FACT

Simp: ...

Simp: but they didnt

SpyKid: Riveting.

NatureCalling: Jett, it defintely sounds like you could use some hard yakka to exercise your mind.

Simp: mm no

Simp: my swag is fine just the way it is

NatureCalling: Yakka means work.

Simp: yeah

Simp: my swag does too

Simp: duh

Creeper: thee best damn chat this world will never know of

Simp: look i dont make the rules

Simp: talk to brim dad

HotBoy: Brim dad! you're needed!

Coldstone: Refer this to HR.

Ragnarök: Damn.

Angel: Stop that.

Coldstone: Okay, as long as no hard rules are broken, i have other things to do.

Coldstone: Hard rules are on page 8.

Coldstone: Jett, Phoenix, and Raze got punishments accordingly.

Simp: read it and weep

NatureCalling: But where's the structure? 

QueenMVP: There's structure, just not in everything.

Nightmare: The structure is that everyone here is an adult. 

Nightmare: Mostly.

Creeper: yeah, we get the job done.

Simp: no casualties so far

QueenMVP: Innocent wise, anyway.

HotBoy: we are the structure

Nightmare: This is not a good structure then.

Creeper: hey if it works, it works

HotBoy: some of us lift others weight, let's be honest

Simp: oh snap

Nightmare: This is shade, right?

Simp: pop off pretty boi

Simp: also yes

HotBoy: can't spell 'tea' without 'team'

Nightmare: I see.

Creeper: spill the tea!

SpyKid: We love tea here.

Weirdo: Not everyone...

Nightmare: Scared you'll be mentioned?

NatureCalling: I'm curious.

Coldstone: I'm not staying for this disaster. 

Doc: Same here.

Ragnarök: We all know you both just spy in, just stay.

QueenMVP: Spill the tea!

Chapter Text

Simp: todays the day

Simp: yall ready for this

Creeper: take it away brim!

Coldstone: Jett, you are officially off suspension.

Simp: yessss sirrrrrr!

Creeper: ayyyy let's fuck some shit up!

HotBoy: metaphorically

Creeper: metaphorically

Simp: hell yeah

Simp: we should have a party

Simp: cool kids only

Simp: plus omen and breach

Nightmare: Stop it. I'm blushing.

Ragnarök: Nice.

Angel: Why only cool kids?

Simp: because some of you kill my vibe

NatureCalling: Am i invited?

Simp: yeah

Simp: only for the vibe check

OwlMan: Jett, what happened to wanting team parties?

Simp: well when i wanted a party because why not

Simp: we got a whole new member

Simp: BUT

Simp: she turned out pretty cool so 

Weirdo: Aw, you think I'm cool!

Simp: yup

Simp: no need to thank me

Doc: Does Reyna count as a cool kid?

Simp: yeah for the most part

Simp: but shes never here

QueenMVP: I have important things to do.

Creeper: yeah but like you only do missions for the most part

QueenMVP: Have you all never had actual responsibilities that were a constant commitment?

Simp: im technically a worldwide criminal so no

HotBoy: does school count?

Creeper: nothing to your degree

Weirdo: Does being the resident engineer count?

QueenMVP: No, that's your job.

HotBoy: sounds like the same thing

Coldstone: Something that isn't driven by money purposes or something you technically don't have to do.

Weirdo: Then no.

Creeper: if keeping kingdom away from my home doesn't count, then no

NatureCalling: On that note, also no.

QueenMVP: I already knew these answers.

Creeper: others also got nothing

Creeper: not just the cool kids

Creeper: like breach

Ragnarök: Fair.

HotBoy: Sova then too

OwlMan: I think hunting counts.

OwlMan: Not as constant as Reyna's, but it fits.

HotBoy: mmmmm i don't know

OwlMan: (ง •̀_•́)ง

Creeper: would viper and sage also count?

Creeper: they are both busy, but it's job based

Angel: My responsibilities are increasing everyday.

Angel: But i guess, i also count.

HotBoy has pinged Doc.

Doc: I don't care what any of you think.

Doc: Making sure you all don't fuck something up.

Doc: That's my Reyna thing.

HotBoy: not coining it 'Reyna thing'

HotBoy has pinged SpyKid.

SpyKid: You pinged?

HotBoy: do you got a Reyna thing?

SpyKid: Yes, i have some of her things.

SpyKid: Why?

QueenMVP: Cypher, i will wring your neck.

SpyKid: I'm joking! I swear.

Nightmare: I can confirm, he doesn't have any of your things.

QueenMVP: Watch him.

SpyKid: •ᴗ•

SpyKid: Anyway. Yes i have 'Reyna things'.

SpyKid: Half of the cyber security that i do is not actually in my job description.

Creeper: have you ever demanded a raise?

SpyKid: Every time i bring it up, Brimstone becomes deaf.

Angel: ^

Angel: Preach Cypher.

Simp: isnt that against some kind of work law

Coldstone: Technically, this is military based, so no.

Simp: can i get a womp womp

Creeper: womp womp

HotBoy: womp womp

Ragnarök: Womp womp.

Nightmare: Womp.

Simp: bruh why just one

Nightmare: I can't be out in public, so I'm stuck here.

Nightmare: So one womp for me.

Simp: fairrrrrr

NatureCalling: Oh by the way, Brimstone, do i have to give you specifics on the garden?

Coldstone: Just the parameters and such.

Coldstone: I also sent you a list of certain plants that can't be out in the open.

NatureCalling: Gotcha!

HotBoy: hold on what

HotBoy: you gave Skye a garden!

Coldstone: She requested it.

Simp: favoritism type shit

Coldstone: Skye has nature based powers.

Coldstone: It makes sense and can be beneficial for her.

Simp: is mine not beneficial?????

Coldstone: No, a parkour room is not.

Coldstone: Use the training area.

HotBoy: you denied mine too!

Coldstone: I'm not approving what is basically a large dressing room.

QueenMVP: Don't feel bad, he denied mine as well.

Coldstone: Sorry, but we would need people for a spa.

Coldstone: This is a private, top secret base.

Creeper: if you want someone to rub your back, just ask one of us!

SpyKid: ^

QueenMVP: I don't want any of you touching me.

Creeper: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )

Creeper: wait what about mine?

Creeper: it would be for everyone

Coldstone: A damn arcade isn't helpful!

Simp: but we need entertainment

Coldstone: True, but not a garage sized arcade room.

HotBoy: ...can it be a garage sized game room...?

Simp: pleaseeeeee

Creeper: pwease

Nightmare: ^

Weirdo: ^^

Coldstone: I'll see about a game room.

Coldstone: But don't overdo the items!

HotBoy: yes!

Simp: brimdad for the win!

Simp: off suspension AND a game room

Simp: fuck it lets have a party

Creeper: wooo!

Simp: party in sector b!

Coldstone: NO

Coldstone: No parties in any sector!

Coldstone: This was a terrible idea.

Weirdo: Can't take back the gaming room thing!

Coldstone: Clean up whatever mess is made or game room is cancelled!

SpyKid: Ah, the collective sounds of groaning from four agents.

SpyKid: Music to my ears.

Nightmare: Cypher, accompany me to the party.

SpyKid: Be there in 3 minutes.

Chapter Text

Raze --> Breach

Dangerous: psst

Dangerous: breach

Dangerous: you should let me borrow your whip

Armed: No

Dangerous: please

Dangerous: i need it for important stuff

Armed: I'm sure you do

Dangerous: >:T

Dangerous: i need to impress the hoes

Armed: You don't got hoes

Dangerous: you don't know what i got

Dangerous: pwease

Dangerous: i'll love you forewer

Armed: I don't want your love

Dangerous: okay okay

Dangerous: you can drive and i won't touch the music

Armed: Hmmmm

Armed: Tempting

Dangerous: and i won't eat in it

Armed: Deal

Dangerous: YES

Brimstone added Breach and Raze.

Brimstone: Why are you two causing crime AT 1 AM?!

Raze: to be fair

Raze: we started crime at 6 pm

Raze: how did you know?

Raze: let me guess 

Raze: camera man

Brimstone: No, i realized you both were missing for hours.

Raze: >:/

Raze: be so fr right now

Brimstone: What?

Raze: be so for real right now

Brimstone: Fine, Sage pointed it out.

Breach: Ha

Brimstone: Where are you two right now?

Raze: why ask like you don't already know

Brimstone: Either get back to the base with no law enforcement in the next two hours.

Brimstone: Or I will pick you both up myself.

Raze: fineeeeeee

Brimstone: Breach?

Raze: he's driving

Breach: Fineeeeeeee

In the afternoon...

Killjoy --> Raze

Wrench: What punishment did you get?

Hammer: none

Hammer: managed to talk my way out

Wrench: >->

Hammer: and into a week of cleaning duty

Wrench: Ha!

Hammer: you should totally keep me company

Wrench: You should totally work on your persuasion.

Hammer: okay okay

Hammer: how about a contest

Hammer: whoever makes a better invention

Hammer: judged by the fam

Hammer: winner gets a wish, loser has to obey

Wrench: Pfft.

Wrench: Deal.

Wrench: You copy all my inventions anyway.

Hammer: >:)

Breach --> Sova

Breach: Brim is unoriginal and told me i have to help you for a week.

Breach: So just tell me you got nothing to do.

Sova: There's plenty you can help me with!

Sova: Meet me outside!

Breach: Damn it.

Sova: ʕ ● ᴥ ●ʔ

Cypher added Breach and Raze.

Cypher: Hello friends.

Cypher: I may need help.

Raze: 20 dollars

Breach: 50 bucks

Raze: 50 dollars

Cypher: Hahahahahahaha!

Cypher: I don't need that much help.

Cypher sent 3 photos.

Cypher: Do either of you know this guy?

Raze: nah

Breach: Should we?

Cypher: Like criminals, knowing criminals and such.

Raze: i don't know him

Raze: looks like a wannabe second male lead

Breach: You just know this guy's a bully

Raze: you are too

Breach: Yeah, but it's not my main personality 

Breach: That guy chose to have hair like that

Breach: You can tell

Raze: fair

Cypher: Lol

Cypher deletes chat.

Cypher --> Brimstone

F4: Psst.

F4: Brimstone.

Ctrl: What is it, Cypher?

F4: The location i'm scoping out...

F4: I found something interesting...

F4: Ah, i should say someone.

Ctrl: Clones?

F4 sent a video clip.

F4: He looks pretty capable.

F4: I think he can teleport even.

Ctrl: Interesting.

Ctrl: I'll talk with Viper.

Ctrl: We'll see if he's interested, you can be in charge of pre-introduction.

F4: Huh

F4: I just wanted to report

Ctrl goes offline.

F4: Wait what

F4: Wait

F4: Fuck

Cypher --> Viper

NoSleep: I think Brim is doing Brim things again

LowSleep: Don't worry, I'll handle it.

NoSleep: Phew.

LowSleep: I don't mind it this time.

NoSleep: Good.

NoSleep: Don't hold back, be mean.

LowSleep: I will be, if i need to.

NoSleep: Or you'll be mean because you can.

NoSleep: And you're a sadist.

LowSleep: And you are a masochist, your point?

NoSleep: ...How do you know that...

LowSleep: I guessed.

NoSleep: Fuck, fair enough.

NoSleep has gone offline.

Chapter Text

Coldstone has pinged everyone.

Coldstone: Alright everyone, i have 2 announcements.

Coldstone: First, we found a new location of conflict.

Coldstone: There will be missions at this location starting a week from now.

Coldstone sent Coordinates.

HotBoy: brotha eughhhhhh

Simp: smh its called icebox

Creeper: yikes

OwlMan: I've been around that area before!

OwlMan: It'll be great to feel the snow and wind on my face!

HotBoy: bruh

HotBoy: no penny for your thoughts, please

Ragnarök: I'm also looking forward to it

Ragnarök: I miss the cold climate.

Creeper: L

Ragnarök: L for left hook

Creeper: :P

Weirdo: I'll be sure to update my bots with weather resistance.

Simp: make some weather resistant clothes for us

Simp: pants with heating fabric or something

Weirdo: I'm an engineer, not a clothier.

HotBoy: i'm sure you can figure out something

NatureCalling: Don't be a wimp

QueenMVP: Why are you complaining?

QueenMVP: You can make fire out of nothing.

Simp: ohhhhh nice line!

Simp: write that down!

HotBoy: on it!

Creeper: about to drop the hottest album

QueenMVP: You're welcome.

Nightmare: Can i have a feature in the album?

Simp: hell yeah you can!

HotBoy: bruh it's my album

Simp: as your manager now

Simp: shut up

HotBoy: damn

HotBoy: #MorePheonixLove

QueenMVP: #BullyPhoenix

HotBoy: it's because i'm black, isn't it?

Simp: LOL

Angel: Let's not do this everyone.

Creeper: XD

Nightmare: Your skin tone is why you're alone.

Simp: omg omen

Weirdo: Woah!

Nightmare: I can say that, i don't have skin.

Creeper: bro taking advantage of being a wraith

QueenMVP: Can't blame him, i would too.

OwlMan: Is Omen classified as a wraith?

Weirdo: It fits the best.

Angel: It may depend on how firm he is.

NatureCalling: ...

Ragnarök: Omen, how firm are you?

Coldstone: Wording Sage...

Angel: What?

Nightmare: It fluctuates.

Simp: does it depend on who youre looking at

Angel: What did i say wrong?

QueenMVP: How 'firm' he is?

Angel: Omg, no that's not what i meant!

Ragnarök: Sure...

Ragnarök: First Sova, now Omen?

NatureCalling: Wait what

Angel: Stop that!

SpyKid: Back off, he's mine.

SpyKid: Platonically.

Angel: Cypher! You are not helping!

NatureCalling: Wait WHAT

OwlMan: Are you firm right now, Omen?

Nightmare: Yes.

Creeper: YOOOOOO

HotBoy: LMAO

Weirdo: Are you looking at anyone right now?

Nightmare: Can't say.

Simp: WHO WAS OMEN WITH

Weirdo: OUT YOURSELF

Creeper: stop being a weirdo

Simp: Damn it guys

HotBoy: hold up

HotBoy: Omen, can you make me some heated clothes?

Weirdo: You have fire powers.

HotBoy: let me have some heated clothes

HotBoy: what if my fire isn't enough for russia weather?

Creeper: get good

SpyKid: Some of us don't have powers. Get good.

Weirdo: ^

Ragnarök: ^^

HotBoy: #MoreLove

Ragnarök: #FuckYou

NatureCalling: Didn't Brimstone have 2 announcements?

Coldstone: Thank you, Skye.

Coldstone: I was waiting to see how long it would take.

Doc: We would've been doing this all day.

Coldstone: Alright, second announcement.

Coldstone: We have a new recruit.

Coldstone has added Yoru.

Coldstone: This is Yoru, he's a duelist and radiant.

Yoru: sup

Simp: nooooo

Simp: brother EWWWWWW

Yoru: hating already?

Yoru: cope

Creeper: and i oop

Simp: did this bitch just

Simp: i didnt know he had a backbone like that

Simp: respectable

Simp: dont push it tho hoe

Yoru: anyway

Simp: ಠ_ಠ

Yoru: whos the best here

HotBoy: that would be me

Weirdo: Cap.

HotBoy: ಠ_ಠ

Coldstone: Statistically, that would be Reyna.

QueenMVP: Hola.

Yoru: ill be taking that spot

Yoru: say your goodbyes

Simp: ╭( ๐_๐)╮

QueenMVP: ...I like this one.

QueenMVP: Tomorrow, let's have a little competition.

Yoru: bet

Coldstone: Alright, i guess Reyna will show you the duelist way.

Simp: brim where did you find this guy

Coldstone: Cypher brought it to my attention.

HotBoy: really?

SpyKid: I didn't show you for recruitment.

Coldstone: Huh.

SpyKid: I thought it would be more of a 'help this time' situation.

Coldstone: What part of covert protocol is not understood?!

Coldstone: We can't have 'help', they either join or they don't.

Yoru: i didnt think it would be this dysfunctional

NatureCalling: Same thought i had when i joined.

NatureCalling: Btw what do you do outside of here?

NatureCalling: Like your career and such.

SpyKid: I'm pretty sure he is/was a thug.

Creeper: ohhhh so he has actual thuggin

HotBoy: authentic thuggin

Simp: so hes a criminal too

Weirdo: Well at least he's not alone there.

Simp: yeah raze and breach can keep him company

Creeper: you're also a criminal lol

Simp: not by choice 

Simp: yall choose that life

Creeper: fair enough but breach is banned from a whole country

Creeper: so he's worst

NatureCalling: Wait really?

Coldstone: Yes, he is for the streets.

Creeper: WHAT

HotBoy: BRIM WHAT

Angel: Omg

QueenMVP: When i say i nearly choked...

Nightmare: Cypher almost fell out his chair.

NatureCalling: I think i heard Viper laughing too.

Doc: I still am.

Simp: brim wtf lmao

Coldstone: He's a criminal, he's for the streets.

Simp: nooooo brim

Creeper: that's not what that means!

Coldstone: It's not?

Coldstone: What does it mean?

HotBoy: something completely different

Ragnarök: Honestly, i think we shouldn't tell him

Weirdo: Raze, you are for the streets.

Weirdo: Jett too.

Creeper: damn

Simp: i didnt choose this street life

Simp: this street life chose me

Coldstone: What does it mean?

HotBoy: you basically called Breach a hoe

Coldstone: Oh okay.

Doc: And technically Jett and Raze.

Coldstone: Oh, I'm so sorry!

Simp: its cool old man

Creeper: it was hilarious! 

Yoru: is it too late to leave

Doc: Yes.

Yoru: fine

Creeper changed Ragnarök's name to Hoe.

Hoe: I know where you are!

Creeper: meep meep

Chapter Text

Hotboy: place your bets people!

Simp: im betting on reyna

Creeper: i'll vote on reyna too

Weirdo: It's betting, not voting.

Weirdo: As in putting money on the table.

Creeper: yeah i'm broke right now

Creeper: so i'm voting

Weirdo: How are you broke?

Weirdo: We got paid last week.

Creeper: last week is a long time

Doc: What are you buying in order to not have money a week after.

Creeper: don't worry about it

Weirdo: Cypher, what is Raze doing with her money?

Weirdo pinged SpyKid.

SpyKid: That is her complete and personal information.

Simp: wtf

HotBoy: who are you and where is the camera man!?

Weirdo: Raze, did you pay him or something?

Creeper: my man!

SpyKid: :)

HotBoy: favoritism smh

Creeper: it's not favoritism

Creeper: cause i'm pretty sure i'm not his favorite

Weirdo: You don't have to be his favorite to get favoritism.

SpyKid: Is it favoritism if bribery and persuasion are involved?

Weirdo: So she did bribe you.

SpyKid: Well, not this time.

Simp: watch it or ill report you for favoritism

SpyKid: And if i show favoritism to you?

Simp: wow favoritism just became unreportable

HotBoy: betting is closing

HotBoy: quickly quickly

Doc: Realistically, only the group of you bet on things like this.

Doc: Though, I am placing my bets on Reyna

Hoe: My money's on the new guy

Hoe changed name to Ragnarök.

HotBoy: i'm also betting on the new guy

OwlMan: The training area is configurated.

NatureCalling: It's been 2 days since he's been here.

NatureCalling: His name is Yoru.

Simp: yeah but he kinda grouchy

Simp: makes Oscar the grouch wibble his lower lip level grouch

Creeper: not you referencing sesame street

Simp: its a classic growing up

Simp: sue me

HotBoy: Skye you betting or nah?

NatureCalling: Sure, i'm voting for Yoru.

Angel: Don't forget, we are doing group vs training after their competition.

Angel: The two groups have been decided.

Angel: And please bet a responsible amount of money.

HotBoy: there's no need to worry Sage

Doc: Famous last words.

[Raze --> Cypher]

PullPin: hey cy

TripWire: Yes, Little Keg?

PullPin: you know the training thing we're doing after Reyna's and Yoru's competition

TripWire: Yes.

PullPin: i thought of a really fun idea for us both

TripWire: Ah. How many tripwires do you need?

PullPin: wow you don't want to know my idea?

TripWire: Where's the fun in that?

PullPin: my man!

PullPin: meet me at the workshop

TripWire: Alright.

[Group Chat]

HotBoy: betting pool closed let's get this competition going!

Simp: heres to hoping

OwlMan: Starting the match now.

[Audio feed - Training room - 3:08PM]

Phoenix - Prayers that Yoru wins.

Jett - Why did you bet on Yoru if you're this doubtful?

Phoenix - Reyna hasn't been here for awhile! Hoping the rust kicks in.

Skye - Better hope you're right, mate.

3:12PM

Jett - Yes Reyna! Going strong girl!

Phoenix - Bloody hell i'm going to be broke after this!

Breach - It just started. Don't freak out yet.

Sage - Yes but once Reyna gets going, it's hard to top her.

3:16PM

Breach - I told you he would catch up!

Phoenix - But will he win?!

Breach - He fucking better!

Jett - He better not!

Sage - Everyone ple-

Skye - He scored another point!

Phoenix - Woo!

Jett - Don't celebrate just yet!

Sova - His aim is steady. Good.

3:20PM

Skye - I won't lie, this score is too close for comfort.

Phoenix - Please please please.

Jett - Reyna i swear on my non-existent yeezys! Please don't make me broke!

Sova - How much did you two bet?

Jett - Too much.

Phoenix - It was nerf or nothin' mate.

Sage - Wha- I said responsibly!

Breach - They placed their bets way before!

Raze - Hey! What i miss?

3:23PM

Breach - He's in the lead!

Jett - Shut up! Reyna's got this!

Raze - I'm loving this right now!

Sova - I'm impressed with their stamina.

Sage - True. They don't seem tired at all.

Sova - After training, let's take a walk outside base.

Sage - Sounds wonderful.

Skye - Mind if i join?

Sova - Sure!

Jett - (Inaudible talking)

Sage - What was that, Jett?

Jett - Nothing!

3:27PM

Phoenix - It's so close!

Jett - Reyna! You got this!

Breach - Come on, come on!

Skye - 30 seconds left!

Jett - Reyna!

Phoenix - Yoru!

3:28PM

Overhead - Match over. Yoru wins by 1 point.

Jett - NOOOOOOO!

Phoenix - YESSSS!

Breach - Let's go!

Skye - Woo!

[Group Chat]

Creeper sent an image.

Weirdo: Jett looks so defeated!

Creeper: good thing i voted

Nightmare: Reyna lost...interesting...

NatureCalling: You gonna take a crack at him next?

Yoru: bring it

QueenMVP: That was fun.

QueenMVP: Don't get comfortable though.

QueenMVP: I always get my crown back.

Yoru: ill keep it warm for you

Simp: reyna...

Simp: my pockets are crying

HotBoy: pay up girl!

Ragnarök: You too Viper

Doc: Very well.

Simp: just take it

Simp: take it all

Simp: take the clothes off my back too

NatureCalling: Is it really that serious?

Creeper: no money means no splurging on food

Simp: i might as well just perish

Coldstone: 10 minute break, then training.

Coldstone: Group 1: Killjoy, Skye, Sage, Phoenix, and Sova.

Coldstone: Group 2: Jett, Omen, Cypher, Raze, and Breach.

HotBoy: bird squad, rise up!

OwlMan: ╰ (´꒳`) ╯

NatureCalling: Woo!

[Cypher --> Raze]

TripWire: Little Keg, i'm going to give you some of my cages.

PullPin: i'm curious, why?

TripWire: I'm sure you can find something of use for them.

PullPin: ԅ (≖◡≖ԅ)

[Cypher's cams - Inside training room - 3:50PM]

Sage - Let's stick together. Let's go-

Phoenix - AHHHHGH! What the?!

Skye - Wha- What happened to you?!

Phoenix - The trip exploded!

Killjoy - What?

Sova - Grenade!

(Laughter is heard in the distance)

[Group Chat]

Coldstone: Okay, so Cypher and Raze you both know the consequences, correct?

NatureCalling: Give them a suspension!

HotBoy: servitude for a week!

OwlMan: 2 weeks.

Creeper: no one died

Angel: Sova fell into a pit of exploding tripwires!

SpyKid: After he shot me.

OwlMan: Serves you right.

Creeper: it was worth the bait

Weirdo: You blew Skye and Phoenix up twice!

Creeper: sage shouldn't do her job so well

Ragnarök: Do we still get the win?

Simp: it wouldnt be fair if we dont just because of shenanigans

Yoru: does shit like this happen often

Doc: No. This is the first time they did something like this during training.

NatureCalling: During training are the key words here

Creeper: you guys just have a terrible sense of humor

SpyKid: ^

Simp: yall lucky reyna wasnt on their team

Creeper: meh i enjoy our chase that we do

NatureCalling: It sounds like you're an adrenaline junkie

SpyKid: Wow, you really put her information out there.

Creeper: wow you really put my info out like that

Creeper: JINX

SpyKid: Lol.

Coldstone: Raze, you now have a month of cleaning.

Coldstone: Cypher, you also have a month of cleaning duty.

SpyKid: That's it?

Coldstone: And now you also log everything into the systems, including HR.

Angel: Haha

SpyKid: That's not very mature of you, Sage.

Angel: Ha.

HotBoy: oh Yoru let's train together!

Yoru: ew no

HotBoy: okay let's eat, then train!

HotBoy: you got me lots of dough today!

Simp: screw all of you

Simp: this cruel world is really testing me

NatureCalling: Oh yeah, thanks for earning us some money!

Ragnarök: Yeah thanks a lot!

Yoru: whatever

Simp: damn you can say fucking thank you

Simp: grouch mcgrumpy

Yoru: still hating i see

Yoru: drown in it

Simp: meet me in the training room tomorrow

Simp: you little shit

Yoru: hope youre ready to lose that too

Creeper: OH SHIT

Creeper: PLACE YOUR BETS

Chapter Text

Coldstone: Alright. Vulture's ready for take off. Stay safe out there.

QueenMVP: Already in the hangar.

Yoru: on the way

Angel: Sova and I have arrived.

HotBoy: on the way!

One cold ass mission later

Debrief Chatroom

Sova, Sage, and 4 others have entered.

Brimstone: Alright, Viper did explain debriefing, right?

Yoru: yeah

Brimstone: Alright, debrief start.

Sage: They were already moving into the area when we got there.

Sova: We were not sure what kind of strategy they were going for, so we decided to split up.

Yoru: me and phoenix went to a site

Reyna: Sage and I went to the other site while Sova went mid.

Sage: Unfortunately, the clones went on B site.

Sage: Reyna and I held them off as much as possible, but we had to back off eventually.

Reyna: I took out two of them before we backed off.

Sova: I attempted to flank, but got caught. 

Sova: I am sorry.

Sage: It's alright, you're only human!

Brimstone: These things happen, Sova.

Phoenix: nah do better

Yoru: couldnt be me

Sage: :)

Phoenix: jk jk jk

Sova: Sage, it's okay.

Sova: I'm accustomed to the banter of our team.

Sova: You don't have to make them apologize.

Sage: ...

Sova: :)

Sage: Okay, if you're sure...

Yoru: i wasnt going to do that anyway

Brimstone: Then what happened?

Phoenix: i snuck all the way to B site to help

Phoenix: i would say Yoru did too, but he disappeared

Yoru: so i dont get caught while heading there

Phoenix: anyway he takes out like two people and i get the rest

Yoru: so one

Phoenix: numbers don't matter

Yoru: whatever helps you sleep at night

Yoru: long story short

Yoru: i got the last clone and defused in time

Brimstone: Thank you everyone.

Brimstone: Anything else before debrief ends.

Phoenix: yeah one thing

Phoenix: you can end debrief but i got one problem with this mission

Phoenix: Sova and/or Sage need a class in team manners or something

Sage: Huh?

Sova: Did i do something offensive?

Phoenix: so we get everyone back, team grouped

Phoenix: as we are searching everything

Phoenix: and i'm freezing my mushroom tip off by the way

Phoenix: Sova gives his cape, coat thing to Sage!

Phoenix: and she didn't even ask!

Sage: Seriously? Phoenix!

Phoenix: my bones are shaking, bloody frigid

Phoenix: and Sage just shivers here and there

Sova: It was very cold.

Sova: And you have fire abilities, Sage does not.

Sova: She needed it.

Phoenix: okay but what about Reyna?

Phoenix: she wears less than Sage AND she's not made for cold weather!

Reyna: True.

Reyna: Not one offer.

Sova: I'm sorry, Reyna.

Reyna: It's fine. It's over now.

Brimstone: Debrief over.

Phoenix, Yoru, and 3 others have left.

Group Chat

HotBoy: justice for ya boi!

Simp: justice!

Creeper: justice!

Weirdo: What for?

HotBoy: Sova gave Sage his coat, cape thing

HotBoy: and not me

HotBoy: or Reyna!

QueenMVP: True.

Simp: smh

Simp: those fucking lovebirds

NatureCalling: About that.

NatureCalling: Are romantic relationships acceptable within the Protocol amongst agents?

Angel: SOVA AND I ARE NOT DATING!

Angel: We are completely platonic!

NatureCalling: ...

NatureCalling: Pretty close for platonic.

Ragnarök: Close enough to share a bed.

OwlMan: Her bed is comfy.

NatureCalling: What.

Simp: the amount of cuddling

OwlMan: Friends cuddle.

Weirdo: Didn't you two hold hands a few times?

OwlMan: Grasping, not interlocking.

HotBoy: bruv, you both act like a couple!

OwlMan: But we are not romantic couple.

OwlMan: It's not hard to understand.

OwlMan: I admire Sage and the work and care she gives to this protocol. She is an amazing person who helps and inspires those around her. I couldn't imagine going through certain days without her. She has lifted me from hard times. No words completely describe her smile, soul, and mind. She is someone who i find smiling for and she is the closest person to me. I love our platonic relationship and I know she does too.

Sage: Aw Sova

Yoru: all of that sounded sus

Simp: SEE!

Creeper: best chat

OwlMan: How come Sage and I get called out, but Cypher and Omen don't?

SpyKid: Because we do our thing in private. Mostly.

Simp: wtf

Weirdo: Cypher, that sentence was VERY suspicious.

Nightmare: He knows.

Nightmare: He always does this.

SpyKid: :)

Nightmare: Silly man.

Ragnarök: Flirt somewhere else!

Simp: how about you let people be themselves!

Ragnarök: No. Weirdo.

Weirdo: Unhöflich.

Ragnarök: What's with you and this flirting shit?

Simp: let me live my life

Simp: you armed magnet

Ragnarök: Weird midget.

Creeper: i love this chat so much!

Chapter Text

[Jett --> Killjoy]

Sword: psst

Sword: you know that story you recommended me?

Sword: finally decided to read it

Shield: YES

Shield: Soooo

Shield: Plot line is interesting, ja?

Sword: surprisingly yeah

Sword: i was effy at first but it hooked me

Sword: i hope sang-ki and hatsu get together at the end

Shield: Ew, why Sang-Ki?

Sword: what chu mean ew?

Shield: Sang-Ki had a whole miscommunication arc with Hatsu.

Shield: It lasted 12 chapters!

Shield: He doesn't know how to appropriately approach his feelings. 

Sword: okay who do you want hatsu to be with

Shield: Zhu Heng.

Sword: EWWWWWWWW

Shield: No! Not ew!

Sword: yes ew!

Sword: bro told him that he would always be there for him

Sword: that he was important

Sword: just to leave

Sword: and not contact him for 5 years

Sword: 5 YEARS

Sword: kinks evolve after 5 fucking years

Shield: Okay okay, so he made some mistakes, it happens.

Sword: a mistake is not texting back because you forgot

Shield: Rather that than 'mind games because i'm incompetent'

Sword: i can't believe this

Sword: this is almost as dumb as you thinking euphoria is worst than bible black

Shield: And i still stand by it!

Sword: shame on you!

Shield: I'm going to build a mechanical hand for you to talk to.

Sword: im about to get a second opinion

Shield: About Bible Black?

Sword: no!

Sword: the first thing

Shield: From who?

Sword: >->

Jett added Cypher and Killjoy.

Jett: hey you

Cypher: ?

Jett: i know that you know what we were talking about

Jett: which one is better

Cypher: ...

Cypher: I honestly would prefer Anthony than the other two.

Killjoy: Really?

Cypher: Looking up a description of everything in the story so far

Cypher: And being confused while reading

Cypher: Anthony has the least amount of issues

Cypher: The other two have problems that i would not deal with. 

Jett: okay i need another second opinion because wtf was that cy

Jett: next youre going to tell me that bible black is better

Cypher: I'm not having hentai conversations with you both.

Jett: why not

Jett: dont tell me its because of age

Jett: scaredy cat

Cypher: Hey, I'm just a man.

Killjoy: He's just a man.

Jett has deleted the chat.

Jett has created temporary chat.

Jett has added Yoru.

Jett: hey you

Yoru: what

Jett: i know you dont care about shit

Jett: so you have the perfect unbias and cant be bothered to tell anyone

Yoru: fucking hell

Yoru: what do you want

Jett: so this story im reading

Jett has sent an image.

Jett: someone with bad taste think the guy on the right should be with the main guy

Yoru: oh this dumbass story

Jett: but i think the guy on the left is better

Jett: woah 

Jett: wait

Jett: what

Jett: you read this kind of stuff?

Yoru: no

Yoru: but it got super popular

Yoru: couldn't go anywhere without some stupid girls giggling over it

Jett: ...fuck you

Jett: so since you basically already know the plot

Jett: just tell me im right

Yoru: no

Jett: you bitch

Jett: so you think zhu heng is better

Yoru: no the whole story is garbage

Yoru: sang-ki is incompetent

Yoru: zhu heng is obviously not that interested from what ive heard

Yoru: and anthony is a dumbass

Yoru: why the hell does the tan blonde haired tattoos all over guy have the name sang-ki

Yoru: but then anthony is the most bland ugly bowl cut looking guy

Yoru: that story sounds like shit

Yoru: ive reincarnated as the villians dead lover seems way better

Jett: ???

Jett: i thought you dont read this stuff

Yoru: youd be surprised how many fujoshis frequent my favorite ramen spot

Jett: ...

Jett: you supply me with more material?

Jett: i will forgive your grievances

Jett: you are my friend now

Jett: wanna get tacos later?

Yoru: no

Yoru: dont bother me with this stupid shit again

Jett: okay okay

Jett: but we can hypothetically agree euphoria is better than 

Jett: wait i shouldnt expose myself that much

Yoru has left chat.

Chat has been deleted.

[Jett --> Killjoy]

Sword has sent 3 screenshots.

Shield: Huh.

Shield: Your logic of asking him is far-fetched.

Sword: thats really what you focus on

Shield: I guess he makes a fair point.

Shield: I'll give his recommendation a try.

Sword: same

Shield: wanna read together?

Sword: (¬‿¬)

Shield: Meet me in 5.

Sword: ill bring snacks

Chapter Text

[Phoenix --> Yoru]

Phoenix: mate

Phoenix: head down to the training room with me!

Phoenix: i want to try something out!

Yoru: no find someone else

Phoenix: but there's only a kind of skill that you got

Yoru: youre not going to beat me

Phoenix: you don't know that!

Phoenix: prove it by coming to the training area

Yoru: ill keep score

Yoru: again

[Jett --> Raze]

ItGirl: heyyy girllll

ItGirl: ready for boom bot balance

Bombshell: yeah but where's phoenix?

Bombshell: like i know he sucks at it but

ItGirl: im not sure 

ItGirl: he knew it was today

ItGirl: hold up im gonna go get him

Bombshell: bitchin'

[Jett --> Cypher]

WindAssassin: heyyyyy cam man

WindAssassin: that doesnt sound right

WindAssassin: anyway i need helpppp

[Omen --> Jett]

Cloak: What do you need?

Dagger: ?

Cloak: Cypher is busy.

Dagger: busy?

Cloak: Yes, don't push further.

Dagger: ┬─┬ノ(ಠ_ಠノ)

Dagger: what happened to cy

Dagger: ill kill a fool

Cloak: Depression.

Cloak: He needs time to himself.

Cloak: Now, what do you need?

Dagger: do you know where my buddy is?

Cloak: Phoenix?

Cloak: I believe he is in the training room.

Cloak: Yes, i just checked.

Dagger: of course

Dagger: i know who hes with too

Cloak: You're welcome.

Dagger: wait

Dagger: can i ask you something?

Cloak: I would prefer you not.

Dagger: well you seem to be taking cyphers place right now

Dagger: i usually ask him for advice

Cloak: Why him?

Dagger: ...

Dagger: i dont know he just got that old man advice feel

Cloak: I'll try to advise you then.

Dagger: what would you do if 'lets say' cy started constantly hanging out and spending time with someone else and stopped asking you to do things with him?

Cloak: Are you perhaps jealous/envious?

Dagger: no

Dagger: we just havent been able to do our thing

Dagger: he has already postpone two of our bro to bro sessions

Cloak: Sessions?

Dagger: we just talk about stuff

Dagger: but only stuff we trust each other to know and hear

Dagger: and maybe watch something only we watch together

Cloak: Sounds like you have the very thing you made fun of us for a while back.

Dagger: ...

Dagger: mmm no

Dagger: we dont flirt like you guys do

Cloak: Calling your friend 'pretty boy' all the time seems like flirting.

Dagger: okay okay

Dagger: so what if hes my bffmlips

Cloak: BFFWIMLAPS.

Dagger: enough about me answer my question or im calling ghostbusters you ghost hoe!

Cloak: Fine.

Cloak: My first thought: Kill the person.

Cloak: My rational thought: Talk to him.

Cloak: Pick one, i suppose.

Cloak: or both.

Dagger: ...

Dagger: lol thanks for trying omen

Dagger: youre the best damn ghost we got

Cloak: (￣ー￣)ｂ

Dagger: ayyyy!

[Jett --> Phoenix]

Thing1: i saw you hanging out with yoru yesterday!

Thing2: Jett! it's not what you think!

Thing1: i won't hesitate bitch!

Thing1: (⌐▀͡ ̯ʖ▀)=/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿̿̿ ̿ ̿̿

Thing2: lol

Thing2: anyway what's up?

Thing1: boom bot balance you bitch

Thing2: ah shit my bad

Thing1: you hoe

Thing2: nah i was just inviting him to train

Thing1: sure

[Group Chat - the three musketeers]

Blaziken added Yoru.

TheBomb: oh? what's this?

TooOP: why did you add him to this chat

Blaziken: i thought we all agreed to let him join?

TooOP: yeah but it cant be the three musketeers now

Yoru: the whole musketeers story is the main character joining three famous musketeers

TheBomb: you into those kind of books?

Yoru: no i looked it up

TheBomb: whew! thought you actively read for a second there

TooOP: but you cant be the main character

TooOP: ill switch

Yoru: not how that works 

Yoru: but whatever helps you function

Blaziken: are we doing this or not?

TheBomb: yes

TheBomb: also change your name Yoru

TheBomb: don't be a basic bitch

Yoru: fuck off i dont care about my username

TheBomb: wrong answer buddy boy

TheBomb changed Yoru's name to SourPatchBoi.

SourPatchBoi: ew

Blaziken: first they're sour, then they're sweet

TooOP: whens the sweet part gonna happen

SourPatchBoi: you love to hate me it seems

SourPatchBoi: gives you a purpose huh

TooOP: bitch you wish

TooOP: looking like a paint brush that didnt get washed

SourPatchBoi: thats why you look like tinkerbells twin

Blaziken: not bloody Periwinkle!

SourPatchBoi: yeah her

TheBomb: XD

TooOP: lol okay that was a good one

TheBomb: i would honestly be a tinker fairy

Blaziken: guess i would be a light fairy

TooOP: gotta keep flashing us somehow

Blaziken: why you gotta do me like that?

TooOP: why you booing me im right

SourPatchBoi: you all actually watch those kind of movies?

TooOP: yeah why not

TheBomb: 'kid' movies go hard sometimes

TheBomb: anyway are we doing boom bot balance or nah?

TooOP: well now im tempted to watch the tinkerbell movies

Blaziken: you just want to see yourself in action

TooOP: more action than a light fairy

SourPatchBoi: what is boom balance

TheBomb: it's when we balance ourselves on my boom bot and see who last longest

TheBomb: and if we have really little supervision, we joust with them as steads

SourPatchBoi: thats fucking stupid

TheBomb: well we are doing it

TheBomb: so cancel your wambulance and let's go!

TooOP: prepare to lose losers

Blaziken: way ahead of you

SourPatchBoi: fine ill try it

TheBomb: yay!

SourPatchBoi: this is so stupid

TheBomb: that's what i like to hear!

[Jett --> Phoenix]

Thing1: hey you

Thing2: what's wrong?

Thing1: what?

Thing2: you usually text defensive when something is bothering you

Thing2: what's up?

Thing1: ...

Thing1: dog

Thing2: i know you didn't just hit me with what's up dog

Thing1: couldnt resist

Thing2: okay but really you alright?

Thing1: yeah just a little thought

Thing2: oh no.

Thing1: im just gonna say it because i dont know any other way

Thing2: just let it all out in one go, if that helps

Thing1: whats going on with you and yoru. i know its completely cool to have other friends thats not a problem. but you are cancelling our plans for that edgy troll doll. and i wasnt going to say anything because im cool and it would suck for me to ruin something you have. but ever since he won you money you have been spending time with him. and hes cool dont get me wrong. hes ice cold. but hes not better time spent than me. we are peas in a pod. bottle cap to the bottle. breads to toasters. coldness to pillows. the T off and the crash out. so why are you replacing our time with him.

Thing1: i had to hit send as soon as i was done or i would have deleted this shit

Thing2: first, i'm sorry for putting time with him above time with you. It's not fair for me to do that.

Thing2: second, to be honest, i just like spending time with a guy who near my age and at least knows the same vocab as me. Sova's great, but he still ya know Sova.

Thing2: but please don't think i'm replacing you with anyone. i do love the time we spend together. its kinda like a therapy session without a certified therapist. nothing would make not want to keep spending time with you.

Thing2: that sounded sus

Thing1: nah i get it

Thing1: a bffwmelips thing

Thing2: it's bffwimlaps

Thing1: fuck you

Thing2: fuck you too

Thing1: lol thanks

Thing2: cheers

Thing2: also will watching some movies make it up to you?

Thing1: nah

Thing1: you gonna have to work hard to win me back

Thing2: buy you some snacks too

Thing1: NAH

Thing2: with ice cream cake

Thing1: GASP

Thing1: DEAL

Thing2: lmao

Thing2: now let's hurry up before raze attacks us with the boom bots

Thing1: imma out run you thats all im gonna say

[Group Chat - Kids with Leashes]

Brimdad: Why do I smell PAINT AND BURNING PAINT?!

Brimdad: HOW DO YOU HAVE TWO SEPERATE SMELLS?!

Brimdad: Clean it up now or no air hocky table!

Brimdad: And with leader stuff out the way.

Brimdad: Don't hurt yourselves too much and please clean up when you guys are done.

Brimdad: Don't care how, just make sure it looked how it was before. At least 85% of how it was before.

Brimdad: Make sure to sleep at some point before 12. Goodnight.

Chapter Text

HotBoy: caution everyone!

HotBoy: Reyna is NOT in a good mood!

NatureCalling: Oh! What happened?!

Creeper: oooooo

Creeper: spill the tea, what happened

HotBoy: she's just in a bad mood

OwlMan: That's putting it lightly.

Creeper: bird man! what happened!

OwlMan: We were on a mission and Reyna saved the day. She handled almost all the enemies.

NatureCalling: And she's upset over that?

OwlMan: Well, she had to also travel around the whole area while making sure she could defuse.

OwlMan: Quite the trial for one person.

Angel: I'm so worried about her. She looks so tired and beaten.

Angel: I wish i could help her.

Doc: Is that all that happened?

Yoru: she also carried the hell out of her team

Yoru: and still lost overall

Creeper: SHE LOST!?

Yoru: backup arrived in time to defuse

Yoru: and we made it out alive

Yoru: she got shot in the back but alive

Ragnarök: I need to know who was with her as the main team.

Angel: Everyone let's not do this...

Ragnarök: Cypher. I'm cashing in a favor.

SpyKid: Oh?

Angel: Cypher, choose peace. Don't do this.

SpyKid: For you Sage: <3

Angel: Aw <3, Thank you Cypher.

SpyKid: Alright with that out way

SpyKid: Hehehehehehehehe

SpyKid: Phoenix, Jett, Killjoy.

Ragnarök: Thank you.

Ragnarök: FOR SHAME YOU FUCKING LOSERS

Weirdo: This isn't as serious as you all think.

HotBoy: ...

Simp: im having an off day

Yoru: what a weak excuse for weak skill

Simp: hot topic called you edgy bitch

Ragnarök: I want to hear Reyna's thoughts so bad right now.

HotBoy: no you don't

HotBoy: don't bother her

Doc pinged QueenMVP.

Simp: bruh

QueenMVP: You two should have been swallowed.

Creeper: >.>

NatureCalling: Who...Which one...

QueenMVP: The ones with radiant.

Ragnarök: Wasn't Killjoy also there?

QueenMVP: She should just die.

Angel: Reyna...Let's keep a sense of calm...

QueenMVP: Shut up.

Angel: Okay.

QueenMVP: I'm mad at everyone else, but you have disappointed me.

Angel: I understand, I'm so sorry.

Ragnarök: Wait, Sage was there too!?

Ragnarök: Cypher, what the hell?

SpyKid: What? I got to protect my girlie.

SpyKid: Did i use that right?

Yoru: reyna tell us how you feel

HotBoy: how about we not do that

QueenMVP: How about you LEARN TO AIM AND STOP FLASHING YOUR OWN TEAM?

QueenMVP: YOU ONE BRAINCELL IN THE CHAMBER FLEE

HotBoy: ...my fault...

QueenMVP: Jett, do the opposite and STOP TRYING TO DO GUN TRICKS IN BATTLE

QueenMVP: YOU'RE TOO BAD TO BE CALLED A TRASH CAN 

QueenMVP: YOU IMPATIENT CHIPMUNK

NatureCalling: ...

NatureCalling: Chipmunk?

Coldstone: I turned Reyna's word filter on.

QueenMVP: And Killjoy, I swear if your machines malfunction one more time

QueenMVP: I WILL REST YOUR HEAD OFF AND HUG YOUR CORPSE

NatureCalling: That actually made it not as scary...

Doc: That's what it's for.

Coldstone: Looks like I need to step in.

SpyKid: I heard your sigh from here.

Coldstone: Anyway, Jett and Phoenix, you both need more tactical training it seems. Get some rest and I'll be sure to schedule you both some sessions.

Coldstone: Killjoy, you need a better sleep schedule for a few weeks. I can tell you've stayed up later than usual.

Doc: Reyna.

QueenMVP: Flee off. 

Doc: You either rest or work out to get rid of your energy.

Doc: I'll update you with the project.

Doc: You know this is not up for an argument.

QueenMVP: Fine, no one bother me.

QueenMVP has gone offline.

Coldstone: Well, i was going to announce after that mission, that we are getting a new agent.

Ragnarök: Another one?

Simp: are they cool at least?

Coldstone: She seems cool from our talks.

Simp: >->

Simp: ill be the judge of that

Creeper: speaking of judge

Creeper: i want everyone to judge kj and i inventions

Creeper: probably a week, maybe two from now

NatureCalling: What kind of invention?

Creeper: anything?

Weirdo: Well since you can't help but to make everything explode.

Weirdo: This won't be hard.

Creeper: you may have a point

Creeper: you malfunctioning queen

Weirdo: Ugh. Don't bring that up!

Creeper: here you dropped this

Creeper: by this i mean a malfunction

Weirdo: You are so annoying...

Creeper: yet you respond every time...

Weirdo: Couldn't stand it if i didn't.

Creeper: lowkey wants me to talk to you

Ragnarök: Is this what the lesbian agenda looks like?

SpyKid: I hope so.

Nightmare: They've lost their way.

NatureCalling: What would you three possibly know about lesbians?

SpyKid: Depends, are we talking about from experience or from the internet?

HotBoy: kinda worried about what experience means here

HotBoy: like have you been one or been WITH one?

Weirdo: He can't be a lesbian, Phoenix...

SpyKid: Why not?

SpyKid: What if i identify as one?

Simp: cy no

NatureCalling: Being with one makes even less sense.

SpyKid: What if i cross dress really well?

Angel: Not with those shoulders.

Simp: >->

Creeper: ^^

Creeper: you looking at his shoulders?

Angel: It's not something hard to notice. It's his shoulders.

Nightmare: Back off, he's mine.

Nightmare: Platonically.

SpyKid: <3

Weirdo: That's not platonic.

Angel: -_-

HotBoy: okay, now that i'm back

HotBoy: thinking about it

HotBoy: it's kinda hard picturing Cy with a person

HotBoy: like him as a person and fucking don't go together

Nightmare: Sus of you to say.

Ragnarök: I can understand that

SpyKid: So, you think i'm a virgin?

HotBoy: are you?

SpyKid: Are you?

Ragnarök: My money's on, no

SpyKid: You'd lose money, bastard.

Simp: OH

Creeper: SNAP

HotBoy: damn

OwlMan: ╭( ๐_๐)╮

Ragnarök: Did i hit a nerve?

SpyKid: Of course not.

SpyKid: You barely grazed it.

Ragnarök: Sure. Don't forget Phoenix said so too

HotBoy: oi don't drag me into this cause you can't handle your battles

Ragnarök: I don't want to hear about not handling battles

Ragnarök: I have a whole list of you not handling shit

HotBoy: oh so that's why you are absolute shite at your job

HotBoy: too busy keeping record of me

Ragnarök: You have powers and still can't keep up

Ragnarök: At least you're not alone

Simp: try again i have a higher score

Ragnarök: You haven't had a good score for weeks. Near the bottom, basically

Simp: nah that one time was cause of omen throwing cover like he was the enemy

Weirdo: True...

Nightmare: Don't excuse your lack of aiming and shooting on my shadows.

Nightmare: I'm not responsible for your poor performance.

Simp: lol all the old people think they do no wrong

HotBoy: fr

Creeper: we have receipts too!

Creeper: i got it all in a hard drive

Creeper has uploaded "Burn Drive".

Jett: Yeah, the fact that i was with the adults and still did everything is crazy. They need their desk jobs.

Phoenix: For fucks sake, Killjoy might as well be on the enemy team! I don't know how you mess up this hard!

Brimstone: If i didn't need comms...EVERYONE would be muted.

Viper: At this point, i just watch them run like little rats...Only rats can improve.

Sage: Viper has the tactical skills of a fetus.

Omen: This mission has turned me to a life of drugs...Sadly i can't do drugs.

Breach: Sage only has a spine when it's convenient.

Killjoy: First, i was flashed by Phoenix NOW I'm flashed by Phoenix AND Skye?! It can't be difficult to communicate.

Skye: I could sneeze lightly and I'm sure some of these people would flinch.

Reyna: Look on the bright side, there are at least 4 body shields at your disposal.

Yoru: I'm surrounded by idiots of all kinds...Lucky me...

Doc: So that's who said that about me.

Weirdo: ...

HotBoy: >->

NatureCalling: I see...

Simp: and i stand by it

Yoru: yeah same

OwlMan: No need for all this hatred.

OwlMan: While I'm glad we are getting out negative feelings, shouldn't there be a more controlled way?

Weirdo: You could've said that 10 minutes ago.

SpyKid: Tsk.

OwlMan: Cypher, I won't hesitate to join this negative chat.

SpyKid: Aww, just for me?

Angel: Sova...he's trying to get under your skin, please don't join in on this.

OwlMan: Okay.

SpyKid: Do you always follow orders from Sage? So obedient.

OwlMan: So I will shove my foot up your ass.

HotBoy: YES, OUR LESSONS PAID OFF

Creeper: woo!

Yoru: nice

Simp: im so proud

Angel: Stop corrupting him!

Coldstone: Hey, a new agent is on the way here.

Coldstone: I'm going to add her to the group chat.

Coldstone: Wait, what happened?

OwlMan: Long story?

Coldstone: God damn it...

Coldstone: Everyone act like you get along quick.

Coldstone has pinged OueenMVP.

Coldstone has added Astra.

Astra: hey wassup fam! how we all feeling today?

Astra: my name's Astra and i'm an astral guardian!

Doc: Oh god, she's positive.

Coldstone: AHEM

Coldstone: Welcome to Valorant Protocol. (Please ignore the names)

Coldstone: As we discussed you'll be a Controller, so Viper, Omen, and I will teach you what we know.

Astra: cool cool

Astra: oh and because of my powers i don't need introductions

Astra: perks of an astral guardian

Astra: but i'll still let fam introduce themselves if they want

Astra: also a1 on the creative freedom for names!

Coldstone: Okay, how about you introduce yourself.

Creeper: yeah what's an astral guardian

Creeper: and are you a magical girl?

Astra: an astral guardian has cosmic energies that ensure no major setbacks from universe changing events

Astra: also i wish!

Creeper: i mean why not!

HotBoy: right you sound like a magical girl to me

Creeper changed Astra's name to Stargirl.

Stargirl: ah! okay! i like it! 

Simp: you said you don't need intros?

Stargirl: yeahhh

Stargirl: my powers allow me to see things most can't

Stargirl: like time and space

Stargirl: so i know chat was getting heated

NatureCalling: I'm so sorry you saw all of that

Angel: Skye, you are still somewhat new. You should not be apologizing.

Angel: I'm so sorry for that.

Stargirl: don't worry! ya coolo!

OwlMan: You saw everything? Like a ghost over the shoulder?

Simp: stalkin type shiii

Stargirl: ah more like some of you use speech to text

Stargirl: but i can't view things like a ghost

Stargirl: more like a bird's eye view ya feel me

Simp: stalkin from above type shiii

Doc: Perhaps you can use your powers to stop their shenanigans.

Creeper: not if she joins us

Simp: come join us we got cookies and a yoru

Yoru: lies im barely there

HotBoy: cap

Stargirl: cap!

Stargirl: jinx

HotBoy: jinx

HotBoy: fuck

Chapter Text

[Group Chat - Controllers]

Brimstone added Astra.

Brimstone: Welcome to the controllers group chat.

Brimstone: Obviously, it's only for controllers.

Viper: Basically, a group chat of high functioning adults.

Brimstone: Viper.

Viper: I'm not going to be nice in a group chat that they're not in.

Astra: is it lively in here?

Astra: like any vibes?

Brimstone: Um...

Brimstone: We have chill vibes?

Omen: Do you know what that means?

Brimstone: Yes, I searched it.

Astra: so, you are telling me there's no jokes?

Astra: not one haha that was funny text message?

Astra: like no name change?????

Astra changed their name to JujuGirl.

JujuGirl: like?!

JujuGirl: come on! i know there's funny bones in you all!

Brimstone: Okay. Okay. If I'm being completely honest with you. Viper and Omen wanted to make a whole new chat because they want to keep up appearances.

Viper: Fucking sell-out.

Omen: At least take a bribe.

JujuGirl: but why? i won't tell anyone that you have humor!

Brimstone: Honestly, they both just need to warm up to you to really show any sense of an actual person.

Viper: Brimstone, I'm this close to making it look like an accident.

Brimstone: That was a inside joke that could also be seen as an threat.

Brimstone: Viper does that a lot.

Brimstone: Omen is just weary of new, unfamiliar people.

Viper: A.K.A just a shy cat.

Omen: I'll make it look like a murder.

Viper: I'm not going down alone.

JujuGirl: so you chales just have dry humor?

Viper: Mostly.

JujuGirl: :/

Months before Astra.

[Group chat - The father, the doctor, and the unholy ghost]

FuckU: Omen, what was that aim?

ICP: Shut up, I was slipping away.

FuckU: Right...

ICP: Go mix chemicals.

FuckU: I'll go make holy water while I'm at it.

Cobblestone: I'm pretty sure you have to be a man of the cloth for that.

FuckU: The holy water only needs to hurt him.

FuckU: Doesn't need to be water or have holy attributes.

ICP: I'll bite you.

Cobblestone: You can bite? I can't imagine it...

ICP: Exactly, it'll be a terrible experience for everyone involved.

Cobblestone: It seems like you're including me.

ICP: Yes.

Cobblestone: No.

FuckU: If i could kill one person in the protocol currently, who would it be?

Cobblestone: Breach?

ICP: Yoru.

Cobblestone: Cypher?

ICP: Try again, he's off limits.

FuckU: He's definitely not.

ICP changed their name to FuckOff.

FuckU: You aren't beating the CypherxOmen allegations.

FuckOff: Repeat that when you have skin in the game.

Cobblestone: You don't have skin.

FuckU: I actually gasped.

Cobblestone: I'M SO SORRY, I WASN'T THINKING!

FuckOff: I'm telling HR!

FuckU: Best intrusive thought you've ever had.

Cobblestone: Nooooo! Don't tell HR!

Cobblestone: That's practically blackmail!

Cobblestone: It'll be put in the burn book!

FuckOff: I would care IF I HAD SKIN IN THE GAME

FuckU: Stop or someone's going see me smiling.

FuckOff: Sounds like skin is for the weak.

Cobblestone: Sabine, when was the last time you went to sleep?

FuckU: read me name worm.

FuckOff: She's gone.

FuckOff: Belongs to the void.

Cobblestone: Sabine, get some sleep. I need you not sleep-deprived.

FuckU: mmmmmmmmmmm no..........

Cobblestone: You are falling asleep while texting, please sleep.

FuckOff: But we won't be able to laugh as long if she sleeps now.

Cobblestone: Omen, stop being sadistic.

FuckOff: ....No......

Cobblestone: Jesus, what's gotten into you?

FuckOff: Well i can ensure it's not sleep deprivation.

FuckU: bitch

FuckOff: Nerd.

Cobblestone: Okay.

Cobblestone: Sabine, if you don't get some sleep, i will use this as blackmail.

FuckU: noo you wont

Cobblestone: I will put it in the group chat.

FuckU: so

Cobblestone: Alright.

Cobblestone: I'll give it to the trio of kids.

FuckU: you re serious ?

Cobblestone: I swear on my dog tags.

FuckU: okayyy !

FuckU: fineeee

FuckU: im going

Cobblestone: Thank you.

5 Hours Later.

FuckU: ...

FuckU: This never happened.

FuckU: I'll kill you both.

Cobblestone: Glad you are sound of mind again.

FuckOff: I joined your nap in spirit.

Cobblestone: Also, what could you possibly say to the team if you kill me?

FuckU: I don't need to explain myself to them.

Cobblestone: What does 'Bussin' mean?

FuckOff: This is the wrong chat to ask.

FuckU: It means good.

FuckU: Such as with food and/or music.

Cobblestone: Got it.

FuckOff: What did you think it meant?

Cobblestone: My first thought was it being a fighting term.

FuckOff: I somehow didn't expect your guess to be so far off.

Cobblestone: These slang terms are getting more ridiculous by the month.

Cobblestone: There has to be terms you both got completely wrong.

FuckU: That reminded me of the word 'lit'.

FuckOff: I'm judging you.

Cobblestone: Sabine...explain?

FuckU: I asked if something was on fire, i obviously didn't think it through.

Cobblestone: Who did you ask that to?

Cobblestone: I have to know.

FuckU: I threated Phoenix and Raze that they'll become experiments 0119 and 0129, if they mock me.

Cobblestone: Why is the numbers so high, Sabine?

FuckU: What about you, Omen?

FuckOff: It was TBH for me.

Cobblestone: Sabine.

Cobblestone: Wait what.

FuckU: I'm judging you, Omen.

FuckOff: Look, it didn't help that i asked what it meant and Jett, Breach, and Raze decided to give me completely different answers.

FuckOff: I thought it was Towards Becoming Heathens for the longest time.

Cobblestone: Is that why you thought there was a cult in the protocol?

FuckOff: I still believe there is, just not because that anymore.

FuckU: You think there's a cult around here still?

FuckOff: Killjoy might be the leader.

Cobblestone: What?

FuckOff: You need someone who is unexpected but competent.

FuckU: You choose Killjoy instead of Reyna?

FuckOff: She would kick them out in a week.

FuckU: Fair.

FuckOff: Killjoy is competent but not stern at all.

FuckOff: She would allow them to roam and continue their influence with little structure.

Cobblestone: What kind of conspiracy are you creating here?

FuckU changed FuckOff's name to Iceberg.

Iceberg: I've spent enough time with the others to understand this reference.

FuckU: That might be too much time.

Cobblestone: Sabine, don't think i forgot about the numbers.

FuckU has left the chat.

Present time in the new chatroom.

JujuGirl: i guess we'll wait and see

Brimstone: Don't worry, Viper won't bite and Omen can't bite.

Omen: I'm just a ghost and my life is a nightmare.

Viper: If you want unnecessary fun we have the others for that.

Viper: They're fun, in their whatever you would call them way.

Brimstone: Oh, but we are having a card game night tomorrow.

Brimstone: Join us it will be fun.

JujuGirl: is gambling allowed?

Viper: What we don't know won't hurt us personally.

JujuGirl: noted!

Chapter Text

[Raze added Jett, Killjoy, and 2 others.]

Jett: owo whats this

Astra: wassup gals!

Skye: Hi?

Raze: okay guys

Raze: i invited you all here to be invited to something you'll never forget!

Killjoy: A murder?

Skye: Promotion?

Astra: a party?

Jett: prom?

Raze: uh no. haha no. close. and wth no.

Jett: oh my bad

Jett: valorant protocol prom

Raze: i wish

Raze: we...should...

Raze: have a night out!

Raze: a GIRLS night out!

Jett: we do have more girls now

Jett: sure i'm in

Skye: More girls?

Skye: Sage, Reyna, and Viper?

Jett: the other two no but what about reyna

Raze: busy :(

Raze: no hot, enticing gatinha tonight

Raze: Sage just got done with healing and all, so she's exhausted.

Raze: i did invite her tho

Raze: love my girlie Sage

Raze: #DarlingAngel

Jett: lol im telling sova that you trying to steal sage

Raze: ha! i'm coming after all the girls!

Killjoy: Guessing you didn't send one to Viper?

Raze: i did for the hell of it, but i knew she wasn't coming

Skye: That's fair.

Astra: true

Astra: why is she so angry all the time?

Jett: in this economy 

Jett: i can guess

Astra: what

Jett: the prices man

Jett: i should never have to pick between two different snacks

Killjoy: Jett, that's just you always splurging your budget.

Jett: not my fault theres so much food and variety

Jett: ohh can we eat while we are out

Jett: i just got a craving

Raze: sure!

Killjoy: This night out is just winging it the entire time.

Raze: you know it!

Raze: that's how i roll!

Skye: And this wasn't approved.

Raze: Brimstone has no idea

Skye: Okay, last question.

Raze: yesss nature babe?

Skye: I'm gonna ignore that.

Skye: Anyway, knowing you Raze, and i think you are great, but...

Skye: How safe is this gonna be?

Skye: Like i'm assuming it's not a normal girls out...

Killjoy: You would be right.

Jett: eh maybe something bigger than us breaks

Jett: but ive been on plenty of night outs and never got into a police chase

Skye: What.

Astra: that's so wild!

Astra: raze you are crazy!

Astra: in a good way!

Skye: This doesn't sound like a good idea anymore.

Raze: it's just one night out

Raze: what's wrong with a night out?

Killjoy: Your 'night outs' are usually just a code word for crime.

Raze: yes and!?

Raze: i repeat what's wrong with a night out

Skye: Don't people die when you commit crimes?

Raze: not directly!

Jett: and surprisingly not frequently

Raze: yeah!

Raze: like maybe one or two accidents

Raze: like collateral accidents

Astra: but people die?

Raze: you guys acting like it's above third degree murder

Raze: let's have some fun! a night on the town!

Astra: hmm

Astra: alright! i'm in!

Raze: :D

Raze: Skye! nature girlie! who could bench press me! say you'll join!

Skye: ...Isn't this breaking rules though?

Raze: we'll break in somewhere you likeeee

Raze: think about the new experiences and at least telling someone you did it once?

Astra: rules were made to be broken...?

Skye: I can't believe this but fine, i'm in.

Raze: YESSSSSSS

Raze: okay lets go!

Astra: killjoy agreed?

Raze: pfft i already know she's coming

Killjoy: I'm going to blink twice.

Raze: that's how she consents

Killjoy: Raze no.

Raze: ;D

Jett: are you guys ready

Jett: got my jackets and snacks lets go

Raze: woohoo!

Astra: lovin' this place!

Killjoy: Be prepared. This will happen a lot.

Skye: Noted.

Killjoy: But she does make it fun for everyone involved, I'll give her that.

Chapter Text

[Group Chat - Top 4]

TheTip: Liyi. I'm exhausted, going to bed, you can heal me later.

TheLens: Oh, it has to be true if you're texting her in the wrong chat.

TheTip: I hope for at least 6 hours of passing out.

TheLens: Why did you take two missions back to back and scouting?

TheTip: Because Brimstone asked me to.

TheLens: Interesting. 

TheLens: If Brimstone asked you to jump off some very high place, would you?

TheTip: At this point,

TheTip: Yes.

Oogie: Respectable.

TheLens: ^

Boogie: Guys, no.

Boogie: While I do agree with you being far too overworked.

Boogie: Please don't jump off any high places.

Boogie: I couldn't survive this group without you.

Oogie: He wouldn't actually do it.

TheLens: Unless...

Boogie: Stop it. >:(

TheLens: Fine.

Boogie: Anyway, do you guys want to watch some shows or movies?

TheLens: Netflix and chill?

Boogie: Sure!

TheLens: Do you know what that means?

Boogie: ...We chill while watching Netflix?

TheLens: ...Correct...

Oogie: Relaxing without Sova?

Boogie: He's sleeping. I don't spent every second with him!

Boogie: Plus, i wouldn't want to disturb him.

TheLens: I would love to disturb him.

Boogie: Silence you.

TheLens: •ᴗ•

TheLens: I may even join him in his bed.

Oogie: Cheater.

TheLens: Habibi no! I swear he means nothing compared to you!

Oogie: That's what they all say.

Oogie: I can't live like this anymore!

Boogie: I wish I could joke so easily like you two.

Oogie: What's stopping you?

Boogie: Well in this chat i can, but in the entire group chat...

Boogie: They wouldn't take it as jokingly as they do with your relationship.

Boogie: I'm not sure why exactly, but I think they actually believe Sova and I are dating and are lying blatantly.

TheLens: Wait...you guys aren't dating...

Boogie: ._.

TheLens: But my OTP!!!!!

TheLens: My biggest and best ship!!!!!

TheLens: You two BELONG TOGETHERRRRRR

Boogie: Okay Cypher! I'm laughing please stop!

TheLens: If it's wrong!! then i don't want to be right!!

Oogie: Now kith!

Boogie: My goodness you two! Enough!

Oogie: KITH!

Boogie: I can't breathe.

Oogie: There better be tears.

Boogie: Yes, there are.

Oogie: Good.

Boogie: I guess that's the reason why, because Sova and I don't play it up like you both do. 

Oogie: Fair. It wouldn't seem right if you both start now.

TheLens: Just yesterday, i told the young ones that Omen and I had a very intense make-out session.

TheLens: They looked bewildered and i loved it.

TheLens: Well, except for two of them.

Boogie: Is it bad that i seem much older than i am? That Cypher is using more 'hip' slang than me?

Oogie: The world's at stake, slang is beyond the backburner.

TheLens: I'm on the internet all the time, but some slang still confuses me.

TheLens: Though you could try some humor. It wouldn't hurt.

Boogie: Oh gee, you two are the greatest middle(?) aged men, a girl could ask for!

TheLens: Could use some work, but good start.

Boogie: >->

TheLens: <.<

Boogie: Anyway, thanks you two, although I wasn't upset about it really.

TheLens: Wow, we can't make you laugh just because?

Boogie: You're not that funny.

TheLens: Ouch...

TheLens: I need healing...

Boogie: So, any movie suggestions before work consumes us?

Oogie: Jett recommended me 50 shades of Grey.

Boogie: Okay, we can watch that.

TheLens: Let's pick something else...

Boogie: Is it bad?

TheLens: >->

TheLens: You know what let's watch it.

Boogie: ???

One Questionable Movie Later...

Boogie: Cypher, you could have just told us this movie was...suggestive...

TheLens: You could have stopped watching.

TheLens: No one forced you to play it all the way through.

Oogie: You also didn't need to comment on the man's body.

Boogie: I didn't know you heard that!

Oogie: You also didn't need to mention Sova while staring.

Oogie: Sus as they say.

Boogie: Omen!

Boogie: I'm not talking to you anymore!

Oogie: How old are you? 5?

TheLens: Wow, i think she's actually going to ignore you.

Oogie: You can't ignore me forever!

3 hours of Sage being a boss bitch later.

TheTip: I really needed that nap.

TheLens: Rise and shine.

TheTip: (　`_ゝ´)

Boogie: Come to the med bay so i can heal you.

Oogie: Why not go to his room?

TheTip: Yes, if you are okay with that, i don't mind you coming to me.

Boogie: Why yes Sasha, i would love to visit you. That was a good idea, Sasha.

Oogie: ...

Oogie: This is what you focus your petty energy on?

TheTip: Wait what?

TheTip: What happened?

TheLens: Omen made a few comments about Sage's suggestive comments.

TheTip: That did not help me understand.

Oogie: We watched 50 shades of grey because it was recommended. Cypher didn't tell us what it was about, of course.

TheLens: (─‿─)

Oogie: Sage made commentary about the actors body, then just had to mention you in the commentary too. Now, Sage won't talk to me.

Boogie: Omen!

Oogie: Ha. You failed.

TheTip: Liyi, I don't mind you commenting on my body.

TheTip: I feel honored even.

TheLens: So, can i as well?

TheTip: No. You are not Sage.

Boogie: I understand Sova and I am glad you didn't think it was suspicious.

Boogie: But I still am not talking to the ghost of Valorant.

TheLens: We can't have that.

Boogie: Yes we can.

Boogie: We can have that for years and years.

Oogie: You didn't hold on for remotely that long.

Boogie: As long as Sova's silky hair.

Oogie: The silky part was unnecessary and it's not that long.

Boogie: AS LONG AS MY HAIR THEN!

TheLens: And that is long.

TheLens: And smooth.

TheTip: Lets all calm down and regain peace.

TheLens: But I choose violence...

TheTip: Ignore him.

TheTip: Let's do an activity together and be friends again.

TheLens: Am i invited?

TheTip: Preferably no.

TheLens: Then I will choose what we do.

Boogie: Sounds good.

Oogie: Fine by me.

TheTip: I am leaving.