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Lesbians I Assume

Chapter 20: eat a bag of balls

Summary:

hiiiii sorry I took forever to get this done lmao I've had like zero motivation recently and I'm in one of those like "writers block for a month or two" periods and all I've really been able to write is this weird ass mushroom cryptid peice ANYWAYS I completly forgot brita and aiden were in this cnkckckdkk so sorry about that

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Lesbians I Assume

boo: I just got off work. and by just got off of work I mean I may or may not have gotten fired. :)))

water: I am awake

water: hold on wait up

water: bitch you got fired

water: what how

boo: ha

boo: um

boo: well you see

meth head: do yall mind I'm trying to embarrass crystal

meth head: its golgi by the way crystal was being a pussy so I have to do this for her

eork: okay Golgi

not this: Golgi Goode <3

salope changed goodemorning's nickname to: golgi

meth head: I despise you all

essence of ball: cmon golgi tell the damn story

meth head: jaida I stg

meth head: so before crystal and I started dating

meth head: okay quick pause crystal seems to have stolen my phone and car I will be right back

eork: EHAT NDJSJSJSJSJS

 

golgi: its crystal hi hello I am using voice to text and driving gigi's car back to her house jackie and jan you better be there to pick me up and hide me and someone should probably go get golgi goode

not this: Fuck no we wont be :)

eork: yeah sorry crystal I'm literally terrified of gigi I've seen her throw knives at trees for fun and being chased by her again sounds very not fun

eork: golgi I will be there to pick you up from the cabin xjxjxjkssksk

not this: yeah but first we r getting snacks

rock hard: crystal just come over to nicky's place we have cwoissanst

boo: you have fucking what

water: bitch speaking can you do it

salope: this is way too crazy for something that could literally be solved by us all hanging out and gigi just telling us the story

dom top: seriously tho

water: golgi can you just tell us the damn story

meth head: fine

meth head: so I was hanging out with my old friends

boo: the het cheerleaders?

meth head: the het cheerleaders.

meth head: and we were sitting at a picnic table at the school and crystal like sprints out of the school followed by daegen and lux

eork: oh my god I know this one

water: daegen is that pink bitvh right?

water: I saw her drink bong water once

golgi: it wasnt bong water it was just water that happened to be in a bong

boo: so... bong water

 

golgi: .... perhaps

 

meth head: bitch

meth head: can you guys shut the fuck up

 

golgi: I'm at Walmart

 

dom top: wait aiden how did you get fired

not this: ^^ what she said!!

meth head: Heidi, shut the fuck up nobody cares.

dom top: 👁💧👄💧👁

golgi: overdosed on vitamin d

golgi: call me icarus

golgi: got your girl choking on my d

golgi: call me vigorous

water: What.

eork: what

not this: ok corpse

dom top: 8GIRIISE8E7AIIE8EUZNDNJQQ8E

rock hard: I WHAT HUH CRYSTAL WH NCDJJDJD

essence of ball: I dont have a single clue what is going on

boo: wait is that an actual song

golgi: nah I'm just a lyrical genius

boo: disappointing

golgi: WAIT we should do coochie raps

essence of ball: YES YES YES crystal you genius

golgi: as rap goddess, I'll go first

golgi: coochie so sweet, coochie shower

golgi: coochie dont eat, coochie devour

essence of ball: coochie purchase gucci , coochie make bank, coochie uses dove, coochie dont stank

rock hard: coochie coochie, someone please help me this a cry for help, coochie coochie

water: coochie a top, coochie dont receive, coochie sly, coochie deceive

boo: coochie gay, coochie gay, gay coochie, I'm a lesbian

salope: coochie work for amazon, coochie delivers, coochie a dyke, coochie like to scissor

dom top: KFKRKKRKDKD NICKY

dom top: coochie man coochie man we like coochie wanna see my dog

eork: I dont think I can top Heidi, rock or aiden so I'm going to have to sit out

golgi: I made a fort in the paper towel shelf! :D

golgi has sent a photo!

eork: crystal

eork: why

golgi: so I can lay down :) I deserve a break

meth head: dear lord I'm about to bust

golgi: gigi my sweet sweet girlfriend

golgi: what in the fresh hell are you referring to

meth head: I'm referring to how none of you whore slut straggots will shut the fuck up. crystal said she had something to say and yall were like Oh please tell. oh? it's about gigi? even better. I cant even say one fucking thing to get even without crystal saying some stupid ass shit that has no fucking relation to what people were saying before

essence of ball: woah golgi calm down

meth head: I'm so fucking sick of you cunts

not this: well maybe if you werent such an entitled fucking bitch this wouldnt be happening Gigi.

meth head: and what's that supposed to mean Jan.

not this: nothing.

meth head: really.

dom top: I'm scared. is anybody else scared?

not this: just how you think everything needs to go your way and it's always some big personal attack when it doesnt.

not this: half the time when we talk irl you talk over crystal anyways so when she has something to say we try to listen maybe she should've stopped when you said not to tell us but we know now and guess what?

not this: falling in a puddle isnt a big deal.

not this: you're not three, you dont need to go off and cry about every minor inconvenience and I'm so fucking tired of you acting liek that's how it is.

boo: liek

not this: Aiden I swear to god.

boo: sorry👽🦎👾✌🍽

not this has left the chat

salope: what

water: what in the fuck just happened

rock hard added not this back to the chat

 

not this: AND ANOTHER THING

salope: oh god

not this: crystal nobody gives a fuck about your coochie raps

not this has left the chat

meth head: well if that's how you all feel.

meth head: crystal come back to the cabin I want my shit back. I'm not mad at you it's fine but I refuse to sit here and be berated

meth head: jackie you can tell your bitch of a girlfriend I said shes a cunt

eork: um I will not thanks tho

eork: and like

essence of ball: what the fuck

salope: is jan okay that was OOC

water: what does ooc mean

dom top: out of character

golgi: is that actually how you all feel???

golgi: I dont feel like gigi interrupts me :////

boo: no crys that's not how we all feel I think Jan's just going through sumn rn

water: yeah I'm sure she didnt mean that I love your coochie raps

rock hard: yeah! they're epic poggers

salope: I agree! crystal is certainly the PogChampion of Coochie Raps :)

dom top: jackie are you checking in on jan??

eork: yeah she said to tell you all to, and I quote " eat a bag of balls and die" which she would never say?? I dont know what's wrong I'm sorry u guys I'm sure she didnt mean it

golgi: okay its gigi again. and jackie theres no need to apologize for Jan, she's her own person

meth head: I'm sorry for being really aloof like that :( I didnt realise how much I was doing it

meth head: I'll stop I'm sorry guys :((

meth head: I think I'm gonna go to bed

meth head: goodnight everyone

water: gurl what I'm still so confused

Notes:

I'm just a little devil who likes to raise hell in the chatfic
*spins around rapidly*

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