Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

crystalmethyd has added: nickydoll, gigigoode, jackiecox, jansport, heidincloset, rockmsakura and jaidahall to the chat

crystalmethyd has renamed the chat: lesbian rights

jackiecox: crystal what is this

rockmsakura: the only ppl i know here are jackie and jan tf is going on

crystalmethyd: hey guys :) i decided since the school is ass and wont let us have a gsa

crystalmethyd: why not make our own! :))))

gigigoode: ok and

crystalmethyd: so i took all the gays i know of that are out and put them here :)

jackiecox: ...

jackiecox has renamed crystalmethyd: methhead

gigigoode: nice

jackiecox: dont mind me just doing sapphos eork

gigigoode: eork

methhead: eork

jansport: eork

rockmsakura: eork

methhead has renamed jackiecox: eork

eork: i hate it here

nickydoll: hi i hate it here im dad
eork: non❤

nickydoll: salope im the french one here smh

methhead has renamed nickydoll: salope

eork: crystal you know that means whore right

gigigoode: its fitting

eork has renamed gigigoode: georgina

georgina: jackie i know where you live i wont hesitate to steal your sTaR tReK dvds and make a really nice headpiece out of them😌

eork: ill tell them about the microwave incident

georgina: i retrack all previous statements but please change my name

eork: ill think about it

georgina: please jackie 👁👄👁

heidincloset: djdjdjdj hahaha bottom

jaidahall: uh says you

heidincloset: im a dom top girl bye

eork has renamed heidincloset: dom top

eork has renamed georgina: 👁👄👁

👁👄👁: your an asshole

eork: you're*

👁👄👁: bitch

eork has renamed georgina: goodemorning

Chapter Text

Lesbian rights

methhead: okay dont freak out

goodemorning: is not a good thing to say when you dont want people to freak out

methhead: but I tried something and it failed miserably

eork: crystal its 3am wtf did you do this time

methhead: ha

methhead: well funny thing is

methhead: theres no proof that I'm not a fly

methhead however many things point to me being a fly

jansport: good morning!

jansport: also w h a t

methhead sent a photo! *crystal has a sticky fly trap in her hair*

eork: crystal! what the fuck!!?!?!

goodemorning: I didnt know mom swore

goodemorning: also

goodemorning: crystal what the fuck how are you
going to get that out

methhead: it's not that bad! I'll just cut it!

jansport: gorge I love you but no❤

methhead: well I dont know what else to do !!

eork: well dont cut your hair that's dumb but you're on your own I'm going to bed

eork: you guys should too. jan especially. We have a test tomorrow

jansport: what no we dont

eork: yeah we do

jansport: ?

eork: the history test??

jansport: ?

eork: miss von du's class?? we have it together??

jansport: HOLY SHIT

Chapter Text

Lesbian rights

jansport: guess who probably failed the history test

eork: rock probably

jansport: well ye her too but u know what I meant

rockmsakura: I'll have you know I studied a total of 15 minutes for that test my grades will be litty

eork: are you serious

jansport: "litty"

eork: rock you gotta be smarter with your time management :/

rockmsakura: k mom I'll do that when you ask her out

jansport: oooOOooOooo who's she?

methhead: who's gonna tell her

eork: crystal I will revoke your jackie covering for you when your mom calls privleges

salope: what did I miss

methhead: oh no

goodemorning: nicky do you know what you've done

rockmsakura: I just watched Jan's entire face light up what happened

jansport: SO WHAT DID I MISS

eork: WHAT DID I MISS

jansport: HEAD FIRST INTO A POLITICAL ABYSS

goodemorning: 𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓭 𝓯𝓲𝓻𝓼𝓽 𝓲𝓷𝓽𝓸 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓪𝓫𝔂𝓼𝓼

eork: thank you baby Geege

eork: IVE BEEN IN PARIS MEETING LOTS OF DIFFERENT LADIES

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gigigoode to: rockmsakura

gigigoode: Are they always like this

rockmsakura: sadly
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jansport: I MEAN I BASICALLY MISSED THE LATE 80S

methhead: you know you're butchering the lyrics right

eork: let us have this

salope: so that was

salope: something

jansport: yes

jansport: yes it was

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gigigoode to: jansport

gigigoode: okay I have to ask

gigigoode: what's the deal with you and Jackie?

jansport: what do you mean?

gigigoode: like you 2 have a very nice friendship but I'm getting homoerotic more than friends vibes

gigigoode: plus jackie definitely has a crush on you

jansport: not this

jansport: no she doesnt we r friends that's it

gigigoode: k
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Lesbian rights

goodemorning renamed jansport: not this

not-this: 🖕

goodemorning: aweee love you too jannie

rockmsakura: wait why dont I have a cool name :(

goodemorning has renamed rockmsakura: rock hard

rock hard: nevermind

eork: okay so never leave crystal alone with weed and scissors and hair dye holy shit

goodemorning: omg what happened is she okay

eork: shes fine calm down gay

goodemorning: >:(

eork sent a photo!

goodemorning: CRYSTAL WHAT THE FUCK DOD D YEIU SEROOUSLY CUT YPAUR HAIR INTO A FUCKINGA MULLAGT

not this: not this

rock hard: okay that actually looks good tho?

not this: tea

Chapter Text

Lesbian rights

jaidahall: can I get a cool nickname too? I'm the only one without one :/

jaidahall: also crystal the mullet is

jaidahall: a choice but it looks good on you

methhead: thank

methhead: can mine change too? The author keeps fucking up when shes writing it

eork: huh

methhead: huh

eork renamed methhead: meth-head

eork: is that good?

meth-head: yessir

eork: jaida I dont really know you that well so I need suggestions

salope: her middle name is essence

salope: if that helps

eork: jaida essence hall?

jaidahall: yeah

dom top: more like

dom top: jaida essence BALL

jaidahall: ...

eork: ...

dom top: get it?

dom top: cuz she plays basketball??

meth-head: that was awful I loved it

dom top: :D

jaidahall: I prefer essence of beauty

eork: essence of ball

meth-head: that can be her perfume

dom top: jaida hall: essence of ball

dom top renamed jaidahall: essence of ball

essence of ball: that escalated quickly

salope: since I'm only really friends with jaida and Heidi how many of yall r seniors?

eork: did you just say yall

meth-head: I thought all of us were?

not this: hi! I'm here now

not this: also no gigi rock and I are juniors

eork: ^^^

goodemorning: I know we dont all know eachother super well

goodemorning: but would anybody like to come over to my place? Maybe spend the night?

goodemorning: my friends are lame and wont watch cartoons with me

meth-head: ooooo like what?

goodemorning: she ra, the owl house stuff like that

eork: so.... gay shit

goodemorning: basically

meth-head: that's what you get for being friends with the straights

goodemorning: I know :/

jackiecox to: gigigoode

jackiecox: hey gigi I just wanted to ask uh am I included in the invite? You can so no it wont be weird I just wanted to check so I didnt show up and you be off the entire time :/

gigigoode: yeah you are! I know we stopped talking buy I would really like to try and be friends with you again :/

gigigoode: I miss you Jacks

jackiecox: I miss you too :/

jackiecox: hey remeber that time we were at the swimming hole and I dared you to jump off the little bridge there

gigigoode: oh my god yes!! I'm lucky it was as deep as it was jesus

gigigoode: my dad was so pissed lmfao

jackiecox sorry that was random I just remebered it again

gigigoode: dont b sorry! Anyways I've got to go but I would love if you came over later

jackiecox: around what time?

gigigoode: oh right!

Lesbian rights

goodemorning: btw guys if you want to come do it around like 5 and heres my address: * look it's her address*

dom top: I can bring chips or sumn

dom top: what can we all agree on? If we cant all agree I can get like three bags

goodemorning: I know jackie likes nacho cheese doritos and so do i so maybe those

meth-head: salt and vinegar?

essence of ball: ^^

not this: not to quote myself but not this

rock hard: I agree with jannifer salt and vinegar is the devil

dom top: well what do yall like

not-this dill pickle ?

rock hard: I wanna dill your pickle

rock hard: also yeah dill pickles good

dom top: dear lord

essence of ball: I might come idk depends on if coach wants us to stay late or not

meth-head: I'll be there! want me to bring anything??

goodemorning: just yourself and a bag yanno if you want to stay the night

goodemorning: I have a bong btw so if you wanna

goodemorning: yanno

meth-head oh hot I'll bring pot

eork: a modern day poet crys

meth-head: sappho doenst have shit on me

eork: take that back

goodemorning: take that back

Chapter Text

Lesbian rights

meth-head: I still cant believe they didnt bring angella back

essence of ball: here we go

not this: FOR REAL THO I WAS SURE SHE AAS GONNA COME BACK

goodemorning: okay jan aggressive

goodemorning: I think razz is angella

rock hard: oh that's a good theory I like that

eork: nah I think razz is either mara or the original she ra

not this: whys that?

eork: think about it

eork: she RA

eork: adoRA

eork: maRA

eork: RAzz

dom top: s m a r t

eork: thank you for coming to my Ted talk

goodemorning: guys I read a bunch of shit and apparently perfuma was supposed to be a trans woman

not this: oh I love that

meth-head: I wish they had done that! That's so cool

goodemorning: and I started following noelle Stevenson on Twitter and she drew catra and adoras kid finn

essence of ball: that's great but can we talk about scorpias back

essence of ball: like damn

not this: THIS scorpia is lit but a d o r a

eork: adora is probably the first main character I dont dislike in a show

eork: a side from Luz of course

goodemorning: shes baby

Dom top: um no willows baby

rock hard: calm down they're both baby

rock hard: also lonnie is so hot

meth-head: she is

meth-head carta is hotter tho

salope: I have awokened

salope: also crystal is a furry confirmed

essence of hall: nicky how its 9pm

eork: yeah what jaida said

meth-head: hey! >:( I'm not a furry I'm just a simp 4 catra

not this: that's exactly what a furry would say

meth-head: >:( anyway I want her to step on me

goodemorning: fucking bottom

meth-head: you cant prove that

goodemorning: I can if you want me to

meth-head: xjjxkxkxkdkdkdkdkskckrodlkd

dom top: SO ANYWAY nicky why did u sleep all day

salope: I went on a date last night

not this: ew

salope: we didnt sex or anything she just took me out for dinner and then we snuck into the theater and they were replaying sonic so we watched sonic and then left and she like drove me to a field and we laid in the grass listening to hozier and looked at the stars until morning then we hung out more

salope: 10/10 best date I've ever been on

eork: wait she took you to a field and you didnt question it

not this: that sounds unsafe but I'm glad you had a good time!

salope: no I was already friends with her I trust her so it's okay

goodemorning: so who is she?

salope: hold on I'm gonna ask if it's okay if I tell you guys

meth-head: alrighty

dom top: alrighty aphrodite

salope: it may or may not be someone in this chat

not-this: oh that's so cute!

meth-head: dont be shy drop her name

goodemorning: fr tho

essence of ball sent photo!

eork: nicky you look so good in that pic

eork: also

dom top: YOU WENT ON A DATE WITH NICKY AND DIDNT TELL ME JAIDA IM SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR BESTIE XNXJJDKX

'not this: YOU 2 WENG ON A DATE AND DIDNT TELL US

meth-head: YOU TWO LIKE EACHOTHER AND XIDT TWLL HSS????!?!?

eork: yeah,,,,,, that

Chapter Text

jansport to: jackiecox

jansport: I kinda wanna start a band

jackiecox: where did that come from

jackiecox: also I'm noticing a habit with you once again its 3am and you're awake

jansport: yeah but I saw you were up so I thought might as well bother jackie

jackiecox: ah

jansport: yep

jackiecox: so what would you call it?

jansport: huh

jansport: oh! I'm not sure

jansport: something gay tho

jackiecox: duh

jansport: what about pussy oreo

jansport: no that doesnt sound right nvm

jackiecox: what about Jan's Jukebox

jansport: I like that but idk if it sounds right

jackiecox: sappho and the lesbos?

jansport: KDDDJDKKXKDKDKDJ Jacqueline your mind is beautiful

jansport: I mean like your body is too but in this instance your mind and I dont just like you for your body or anything I just meant like all of you is beautiful heh yeah Haha sorry rambling

jackiecox: dont be sorry! You're good :)

jackiecox to: rockmsakura

jackiecox sent a screenshot

jackiecox: jfkdkdkkdkdkdkdkdjd rock holy shit what does this mean

jackiecox: I'm freaking out that was so random of her to say??? Like jxxjx but what if over thinking it

rockmsakura: thank you for waking me up I really appreciate that 🖕

rockmsakura: you probably are over thinking but not a lot

jackiecox: well what does THAT mean

rockmsakura: jan thinks you're hot

rockmsakura: obviously

jackiecox: what if she was just being friendly

rockmsakura: it's too early for this shit

rockmsakura: adios

jackiecox: rock dont leave meeee

rocmsakura: I'm already goneeeee

jackiecox to: jansport

jackiecox: so what genre would the band play?

jackiecox: riot grrrl right?

jansport: yeah!

jansport: I feel like we would take inspiration from like Kathleen hanna, 7 year bitch, yanni bands like that

jackiecox: I wanna start listening to more riot grrrl bands but idk

jansport: you know the guitar right

jackiecox: is that a band

jansport: ndjdjdfjjdsj no like you know how to play?

jackiecox: OH lmfao yeah!

jansport: what if you were in the band?

jackiecox: well I'm really not that good :/

jansport: it doenst need to be good it just needs to be real!

jansport: like I want to be the band that some kid will play in the car and their dad will tell them that we suck at playing our instruments

jansport: like the target audience would enjoy it but everyone else can get fucked

jackiecox: I love that

jansport: we just need a drummer

jackiecox: do u think maybe rock would want to do it? She used to play the drums

jansport: oh I'll ask

jansport: she said "sure why not"

jackiecox: so shell answer you and not me

jackiecox: very rude

jansport: Haha shell

jansport: anyways I'm gonna go to bed ily jacks💜

jackiecox: luv u tooo

Lesbian rights

dom top: I'm so fucking embarrassed i complimented a teacher on her dyke lookin shirt

dom top: i didnt say that obviously but then she said oh i like yours 2

dom top: and i said oh thank you i love my leprosy print

dom top: I SAID LEPROSY I MEANT LEAPORD

essence of ball: omfg Heidi how

dom top: I DONT KNWO IT JSUT HAPPNED

meth-head: super cringe

essence of ball: since when do you say cringe

meth-head: idk ask gigi it's her fault

goodemorning: ugh you call your anxiety super cringe bro sarcastically once around a clown and she starts repeating it 😔 smh

meth-head: dkdkdkxk I'm not a clown

essence of ball: since when do yall hang out

meth-head: wait am I a clown

goodemorning: since Saturday when she came over with you guys

Meth-head: holy fuck I am a clown

goodemorning: since then shes been coming over and watching as much of a show as we can in the span of one night

rock hard: idk bro seems kinda gay

meth-head: I wish

goodemorning: I wish

goodemorning: hold up

meth-head: aha

meth-head: jk jk

goodemorning: unless

dom top: 👁👄👁

Chapter Text

Lesbian rights

goodemorning: so jackie wore yoga pants today

eork: uh yeah? And?

meth-head: 👀🍑

eork: what? Am I not allowed to do taht?

goodemorning: ur thicc bro

eork: yeah I'm aware

goodemorning: nice ass ahaha

meth-head: u lost babygirl?

eork: oh for fucks sake

gigigoode to: jackiecox

gigigoode: hey I just want to check in are we making you actually uncomfy? We can stop I dont want to make you feel gross sorry man

jackiecox: no yall are good I know you're just joking around

gigigoode: well I mean not really 👀🍑

jackiecox: gigi

gigigoode: right sorry but fr tho jf we make u uncomfy tell us I'll tell crys to stfu

jackiecox: I will thanks for checking in :)

gigigoode: no!

jackiecox: w h a t

gigigoode: *np omg

jackiecox: lmfao

Lesbian righs:

meth-head: JACKIES PHAT ASS?!

WOAH MAMA! HUMMINA HUMMINA HUMMINA BAZOOOOOOOOOOOING! EYES POP OUT AROOOOOOOOOOOGA JAW DROPS TOUNGE ROLLS OUT WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF TOUNGE BURSTS OUT OF THE MOUTH UNCONTROLLABLY LEAKING FACE AND EVERYTHING IN REACH
WURBLWURBLWURBLWURBLWURBLWURBLWURBLWURBLWURBLWURBLWURBLWURBL TINY CUPID SHOOTS ARROW THROUGH HEART AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ME LADY... HEART IN THE SHAPE OF A HEART STARTS BEATING SO HARD YOU CAN SEE IT THROUGH SHIRT BA-BUM BA-BUM BA-BUM BA-BUM BA-BUM MILK TRUCK CRASHES INTO BAKERY STORE IN THE BACKGROUND

essence of ball: shorty got the fatty

rock hard: 𝓼𝓱𝓸𝓻𝓽𝔂 𝓰𝓸𝓽 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓯𝓪𝓽𝓽𝔂

meth-head: 🎶🎵jan wants her cake and🎵🎶

goodemorning: 🎶🎵she wants to eat it too🎵🎶

not this: get fucked

meth-head: this one goes out to Janine sport

eork: YOU REALIZE THE WALLS ARE SUPER THIN

salope: we're literally still at your fucking house gigi do you mind

essence of ball: are they actually fucking

not this: not this

meth-head: perhaps

eork: i-

salope: being Helen Keller doesnt seem so bad right now

eork: okay nicky and I are leaving goodbye

salope: we have escaped

eork: I'm driving now nicky will talk for me

salope: we're gonna go to the convenience store yall want anything

not this: skittles pwease

essence of ball: can you get me gummy worms

dom top: snickers

salope: k this is gonna take forever to deliver to yall so do you wanna meet at the park near Jan's house

Rock hard: we all live pretty close anyway that works

rock hard: and reeses cups or whatever the fuck you call them would be lovely

salope: the Hornys dont get any snacks

goodemorning: well yeah I just ate

eork: DO YOU MIND

meth-head: not at all :D

essence of ball: yall r nasty

dom top: ^^

essence of ball: were all here r u and rock comin or not

dom top: yeah b there soon

Chapter Text

Lesbian rights

meth-head: this is random but what kind of music do yall listen to?

not this: why?

meth-head: idk

not this: valid

not this: I listen mostly like riot grrrl, indie, various musicals stuff like that. U?

meth-head: idk I wanted to ask yall because I dont even know what music I like

meth-head like I like rap and shit if megan thee stallion, cupcakke ppcocaine

not this: oh nice

not this : once I started playing ddlg by ppcocaine around jackie and she was shocked that I knew every word it was wack

eork: I was kinda scared ngl

eork: I listen to a lil bit of everything ngl

meth-head: wack

meth-head: what do you think would happen if I were to say

meth-head: cook spaghetti in a bath

meth-head: and what if that's spaghetti

meth-head: was me

eork: are you okay

not this: yeah what's up with you

goodemorning: she just took six fucking edibles because I told her not to I have no clue how she manages to type properly

eork: be safe please

goodemorning: I havent taken any I have to babysit her dumbass now

eork: oof but good

goodemorning: update: crystal is repeatedly taping the wall and saying " geege look my hand went through the wall"

Goodemorning sent a video!

not this: shes on another dimension

dom top: ask her what 2 plus 2 is

goodemorning: any specific reason

dom top: nope

goodemorning: hot she started mumbling candy store from Heather's but it's the riverdale version

not this: disgusting

eork: 💛unacceptable💛

salope: you should give her an egg

salope: see what she will do with it like dogs in the videos

goodemorning: crystal isnt a dog but sounds Goode

eork: did you just-

essence of ball: hey nicky are you okay

salope: yeah why?

Essence of ball: it sounds like you fell down the stairs

salope: that's something I'll never tell

goodemorning: SHE HELD THE EGG AND TOOK A BITE OUT OF IT AND PROCEDED TO SPIT IT OUT ON MY CARPET AND XTHREOW THE FUCKING EGH AT ME

essence of ball: nicky fell down the stairs

salope: nicky flew

rock hard: Heidi and I are vibing at my place does anyone want to go get food we r hungy

not this: in a gay way?

rock hard: yes

rock hard: anyway the sandwich place close to the school?

essence of ball: sure

dom top: gigi we can bring you and crystal food

goodemorning: that would be amazing thanks Heidi crystal just passed out in the driveway brb

eork: wait where the fuck are your guys parents

not this: seriously tho if I was pulling this stuff my parents would send me back to catholic school

goodemorning: mine are on some dumbass week long business trip or whatver and hers are okay with her doing stuff because shes almost 18 as long as shes safe and responsible

goodemorning: plus they think I'm responsible and they trust me

goodemorning: and my parents know I hate most of the people we go to school with so I wont have like a party or whatever

eork: oh wack

rock hard: is crystal safely away from the drive way we almost here

goodemorning: yeah shes on the front lawn now I brought her a blanket

eork send pic please I need more blackmail material

goodemorning sent a photo!

rock hard: oh she looks comfy

essence of ball: is she cuddling a cat

goodemorming: yeah?

essence of ball: neither of you have a cat

eork: whose cat did crystal suprise adopt

goodemorning: Oh FuCk

salope: wack

Chapter Text

Lesbians I assume

rock hard: peepeepoopoo

goodemorning: any specific reason?

rock hard: QwQ

goodemorning: valid

essence of ball: pussy like a wild fox

meth head: I'm watching danganronpa

meth head: "hows maizono?"

meth head: im afraid shes deceased

meth head: gvfgcdbysujiask like lmfao what

meth head: this show is basically among us

eork: wow

goodemorning: my girlfriend, the genius.

meth head: wtf did junko just die

meth head: i stg i was simping for her

goodemorning: my girlfriend, the simp.

salope: jesus crystal spoilers

meth head: its the second episode fuck off weeb

salope: says you! tf

essence of ball: I hate it here I'm eating spaghettti

essence of ball: no sauce or anything but cheese mind u

dom top: ew wtf why

essence of ball: and then there was a crunch

salope: mmmm bugs

dom top: surprise protein

rock hard: when he nut in your mouth

eork: rock I stg why

meth head: we're literally dykes

goodemroning: gbfnudshdwknfwncisjdiajd my brother read that

goodemorning:HI ITS SAM GIGIS BRRUITHER

eork: hi sam

goodemorning: HI EORK

goodemorning: oh hey jackie i didn't know u 2 were talking again

eork: yeah lol

goodemorning: you still like that same girl?

eork: ahaha

eork: n o <3

goodemorning: what was her name?

goodemorning: jen?

eork: haha no clue sam

goodemorning: okay its me again sorry about him he's dumb

eork: lol

jansport to: jackiecox

jansport: wait who's jen?

jackiecox: no one sam had the wrong name

jansport: oh ok lol

jackiecox: yeah lol

jansport: can I ask what her name is?

jackiecox:um

jansport: its okay jacks you don't have to tell me I didn't mean to pry

jackiecox: nono its okay I just I don't really feel great rn

jansport: oh no! in what way?

jackiecox: like idk I feel like I'm gonna have a panic attack

jansport: oh no jacks do you want me to come over?

jackiecox: nah lol I'm fine I'm just gonna have a showerr

jansport: um okay remember I'm always here for you if you need to talk

jackiecox i know

jackiecox: thanks jan

Chapter Text

Lesbians I assume

dom top: good morning girls and gays

rock hard: mornin

meth head: we're gay and we're girls

meth head: the ultimate package

goodemorning: maybe we r a diff breed UwU

rock hard: UwU are you serious

goodemorning: absoytuleey OwO

essence of ball: heidi its 2 in the afternoon its not even the morning

dom top: same difference

rock hard: babe no its not

essence of ball: "babe"

goodemorning: jaida hush ive heard nicky call you like every pet name in the book

meth head: mA cHeRiE

dom top: hOnEy

rock hard: I heard her call you sugar tits once

salope: that was as a joke fuck off

essence of ball: uh chile anyways so

dom top: bruh moment when ur gf eats a fucking glue stick

goodemorning: bruh moment when your gf burns Mr noodles

meth head: hey! >:(

goodemorning: how tf did you even burn them

meth head: you told me you wouldn't tell anyone about that

salope: bitch how do you burn Mr noodles

essence of ball: what did you do forget to add water

meth head: ...

meth head: no comment

meth head: side note rock why the fUck did you eat a gluestick

rock hard: i was hungry

dom top: but that wasn't foodjfvsdguhdfuhaiuvhoihv

rock hard: yeah but i ate it and didn't die so same thing

meth head: i-

eork: whats up

salope: where were u

eork: jan and i were in miss velours class

work: you know how she is about phones

not this: yeah it was hell

not this: I'm failing so bad

not this: like bitch I'm gay do you expect me to know basic math

goodemorning: sure that's the reason

dom top: mood

rock hard: mood

salope: mood

essence of ball: mood

meth head: mood *looks at jackie*

eork: ahaha

eork: its not my fault i know my times tables

not this: wellllll

not this: isn't it tho

eork: hush i was taught i simply absorbed the knwolwweegde

essence of ball: girl wtf is that spelling

salope: okay you obviously didn't retain all of that info

not this: maybe you should tutor me lol ;)

dom top: I'm watching the 100 and like wtf his nipples so small

meth head: njwhoufeuhdoqejdjwqijfijdhfugeiufoijpoqk omfg

goodemorning: fnfvdsjodjoskd who?

dom top: the super ripped grounder bellboy is currently beating with a seatbelt

rock hard: those of us homosexuals who don't watch the hundred because we have taste are straight vibing in the background

goodemorning: oh my god lincoln? lmfaooooc ndncdewijej

eork: i stopped watching it after my queen was killled

goodemorning: nia?

eork: ew no i just don't want to spoil it for heidi

eork: soft warrior lesbian

goodemorning: ohhhh

goodemorning: simp

goodemorning: you really have a thing for soft lesbians with long dark hair who wouldn't hesitate to kick some ass don't you?

eork: i have no idea what you're talking abojut

not this: wait what

not this: who are we talking about?

eork: nobody lol

jackiecox to: gigigoode

jackiecox: jesus gigi shut the fuck up

gigigoode: you need to tell her sometime you know

jackiecox: no i don't i don't even know if she likes me back

gigigoode: are you serious

gigigoode: jackie your so dense

jackiecox: no I'm not there literally no proof jan likes me back

gigigoode: you're killing me here

gigigoode: what about the time she called your mind beautiful but then made sure you knew she thought all of you was beautiful

jackiecox: that doesn't mean anything

gigigoode: what about the time the other day when you had super bad period cramps so she l e f t s c h o o l to bake you a fucking cake

gigigoode: the time you did the wap because rock dared you to and jan was literally drooling

gigigoode: she calls you BABE all the time

gigoode: the only reason shes failing miss velours class is because shes busy either daydreaming about you or actively staring at you

gigigoode: ur just too busy pining after her to see she doing the same fucking thing

jackiecox: :/

jackiecox: but what if you're wrong we're just good friends anyway

gigigoode: yffbufidnafaf jaqueline i fucking hate you some times

Chapter Text

goodemorning: so quick little question

goodemorning: if you had the opportunity

goodemorning: would you or would you not deck ben shapiro

meth head: I would

not this: I would and then stomp on him with stompy dyke boots 😌

eork: I wouldn't

essence of ball: absolutely

salope: of course

dom top: yeet

rock hard: duh and also Heidi did u just say yeet xmxmxmkxkxkxkkd

goodemorning: valid

goodemorning: wait jackie y not

eork: I wouldnt deck him I'd like

eork: idk I was going to say publically humiliate him but him confirming his wife has a DAP is bad enough

meth head: jdkdkddfkksksforkdls

salope: dap?

rock hard: dry ass pussy

essence of ball: jdjdjdkdkskka wait so if a gay guy said he has a wap technically he wouldnt be wrong

essence of ball: wet ASS PUSSY

dom top: gay version: wab

dom top: wet ass bussy

not this: I said certified freak

eork: does it bug anybody else that she rhymed week with weak

essence of ball: no that's queen shit

not this: it's like when gaga rymes babble on with babylon

goodemorning: wait remember when the school still did the battle of the bands thing or whatever and those three girls called themselves the frock destroyers and nobody stopped them because mr Charles is a fucking idiot and one of them rhymed home with home

salope: mon dieu yes

not this: their song was a bop tho

dom top: it really was

meth head: why did they stop doing taht anyway

rock hard: too many people just gathered In groups of like three and then covered songs like ed Sheeran and shit

rock hard: straggot shit

rock hard: and they didnt change anything in the song and called themselves bands

meth head: oh right!!

essence of ball: like sorry rebecca it's not karaoke night with the girls sit down

salope: seriously tho

not this: that would be fun if they did it again

not this: I told yall about the hypothetical band rock jackie and I wanted to start right

salope: yeah

dom top: would it be yall three?

eork: yeah

rock hard: we should actually do that

rock hard: like I'm sure if we put effort into it we could write a song that's like

rock hard: good yanno

eork: would I sing in the band

not this: would you want to?

eork: idk maybe

eork: I'm not that good tho

not this: shut up jacks yes you are

eork: no I'm nottttttt

not this: yes you are I love your voice it's really pretty

goodemorning: not to interrupt Jan's simping but I just saw a post that said trump talks like hes getting pegged and trying to hide it

goodemorning: like xkxxkzkkzkzkzkzkzkkxkxkxkxkzkzl

dom top: j e s u s

essence of ball: he fucking does xkxkxlx

meth head: i😏said😎certified📃freak😈seven😊days⏰a🥞week🗓wet💦ass🍑p🏌️♂️word🐱make🥅that🚶♀️pullout🚗game🤺weak😉

salope: is that seriously what you were typing for like five minutes

essence of ball: what else did you expect

meth head: it's not my fault the chat moves fast

rock hard: u wanna see some real speed

essence of ball: when ur doing two days of homework while the teachers collecting it

dom top: i saw a spider on the floor out the corner of my eye

dom top: and I looked

dom top: and fucking Remy the rat was on my kitchen counter

goodemorning: let him help >:(

meth head: wait-

eork: djjdjdjdjdjs hold on

essence of ball: lemme reread that real quick

not this: Heidi seeing a spider on the floor that was actually a rat on the counter: I've connected yhe two dots

eork: you didnt connect shit

dom top: I've connected them

Chapter Text

essence of ball: I hate being reminded of my flesh vessel

meth head: h u h

essence of ball: like it just hit me like really hit me that theres like sacks of whatever just chilling inside me

essence of ball: they do just b there

meth head: yup

dom top: why did noone tell me the uterus is as small as it is

eork: right? like why bother teaching ppl about their own fucking organs

meth head: if I threw my stomach at someone and it popped like a balloon would they burn or is it not that kind of acid

eork: idk Google it

meth head: oaky thanks mmm

essence of ball: oaky

dom top: mmm

dom top: it's only September and I still have test ugh

eork: well yeah

eork: jan and I have been having them since like idk how long has it been since this chat was created

eork: we had the first one like a couple days after

essence of ball: it's been like

essence of ball: it was made in like the week before the 15th cuz that's when nicky and i started dating

dom top: wait wtf is the date

eork: 23rd

dom top: ew

essence of ball: what class is the test in

dom top: bio

eork: gross

essence of ball: who do u have for it

dom top: mr rice

eork: god I hate him

eork: he always talks like he has no idea what's going on

essence of ball: tea

dom top: what class would jan b in rn

eork: french she has Ms visage for it

eork: that's kinda funny if u think about it

eork: whyd u ask

dom top: ur basically in love with her i figured you would know

dom top: and rock and her have the same class

eork: I'm not basically in love with her tf

dom top: sorry

dom top: actually in love with her

eork: Heidi delete that what if jan sees it

not this: what if jan see's what?

essence of ball: 👀

dom top: 👁👄👁

meth head: ...

meth head: so google said no

Chapter Text

jackiecox to: jansport

jackiecox to: jansport

jackiecox: I dont know if you saw that message or not Jan but I am so so sorry

jansport: its okay Jackie you have nothing to be sorry for

jansport: I do think we need to talk about it tho

jackiecox: of course, yes

jansport: can you come over after school?

jansport: you can say no its fine but if we’re gonna talk we should do it in person

jackiecox: yes that’s fine i can come over

jackiecox: are we gonna go together like are you gonna drive?

jansport: please don’t take this the wrong way but can you just come over I don’t want to have to sit in awkward silence with you for the whole drive

jackiecox: okay yeah I can just get rock to drop me off

jansport: okay

jackiecox to: rockmsakura

jackiecox sent a screenshot!
jackiecox: oh my god Rock I feel like im gonna throw up im so scared

jackiecox: also can you drive me to Jan’s place after school

rockmsakura: sure I can

rockmsakura: and u need to calm down its gonna be fine

jackiecox: what if it wont be tho! What if she knows I like her and that was all just some sick joke?!?

rockmsakura: I think you know that’s not going to happen

rockmaskura: even if she doesn’t return the feelings its Jan. the girl wouldn’t hurt a fly. Much less u

rockmsakura: she wouldn’t just end several years of friendship with you over this I think you know that

jackiecox: but what if she does

rockmsakura: you need to calm down try not to overthink yourself into a panic attack in the middle of history please

jackiecox: okay maybe ur right

rockmsakura: exactly.

rockmsakura: you know where I park if you’re not there by 340 Heidi and I are leaving you

jackiecox: alright

jackiecox: thanks again rock

rockmsakura: no problem

“Please have the paper done by Thursday, everyone. I don’t accept late work.”
Jackie stood up, swinging her bag over her shoulder, and sliding her phone into the pocket of her jeans. She let her mind run around for a bit while she made her way through and out the school to Rock’s car. What if it was all a joke? Surely Jan wouldn’t just sit by and let them joke about that. Much less be in on it. Right? And If it wasn’t a joke and everything would be fine with them anyway it wouldn’t just go back to normal. Not if she knew the entire time that Jackie had basically, no, actually fallen for her. With her body on auto pilot, she weaved between people through the halls and out the door closest to Rock’s car. She looked up, seeing Rock and Heidi sitting on the hood, laughing at a joke Rock must have told. What if they were talking about her? Laughing at her? Jackie suddenly felt small. Too small. She tried to push her worries aside as she walked up to them.
“Hey.” She mumbled, trying not to let her voice tremble.
“Hey, girl! what’s up with you?” Heidi questioned. So, Rock hadn’t told her. Huh.
“Rock didn’t tell you?”
With all eyes on her, Rock shrugged. “It wasn’t my place. We going or not?” she huffed, sliding off the hood of the car.
“I’ll tell you on the way.” Jackie said, looking up at Heidi.
Jackie tossed her bag in the trunk with the other girls’ and slid into the backseat.
“So,” she started but Heidi interrupted her.
“Is this about what I said in the chat? I was just kidding Jackie I didn’t mean for it to make either of y’all upset.”
Rock hummed. “That’s not helping.”
“So,” Jackie restarted, anxiety bubbling up inside her. “Jan told me we need to talk about that whole thing, and she said to come over after school and now I’m scared she’s gonna hate me forever.”
“That’s it?” Heidi questioned, yelping as Rock swatted her leg.
“Well when I put it like that it doesn’t sound bad. I’m just scared.”
“And I’ve been telling her that she’s gonna be okay because Jan loves her.”
“But not how I love her.” Jackie whispered sadly. She looked down at her feet, completely missing the look Rock shot at her in the rear-view mirror.
“Okay. The vibes in the car are absolute shite.” Rock said, faking a posh accent. “Jackie you wanna listen to your cheesy lesbian shit?” Jackie nodded, before remembering Rock couldn’t see her.
“Okay.” She said and Rock handed her the aux chord. “Siri, play wlw shit” she spoke to her phone.
“Playing: wlw shit”
“Oh, Hanna, I wanna feel you close.” Jackie sang along as the music filled the car.
“Ugh Jesus, Girl in Red are you-“
“Shush. You put your hands under my shirt undid my bra and said these words, darling youre so pretty it hurts.” Heidi gave her a look from the corner of her eye.
“It’s a mashup.” Jackie explained.
“Gay.” Rock teased. Chuckling as Jackie flipped her off. Jackie was happy, calmer even. Just her, Rock and Heidi in the car, no outside thoughts, just them and the music.

Before she knew it, they were pulling up in Jan’s driveway. Stopping at the garage doors.
“Doesn’t look like she’s home yet.”
“Are her parents’ home?”
“She’s not and no.” Jackie answered, “I’m just gonna wait on the porch you guys go have your date or whatever.”
“You sure?” Rock asked, swiveling around to look at Jackie. “Do you need a ride home after?”
“I can walk,” Jackie insisted, rolling her eyes at Rock raising a brow.
“You’re sure?” Heidi checked.
“Yes, I’m sure, Jesus.” Jackie scoffed, throwing open the door and swinging her legs out of the car. She ducked her head back in to speak, “Pop the trunk for me?”
“What’s the magic word?” Rock sing-songed.
“Now.”
*
*
*
*
Jackie stood on the steps of Jan’s porch, watching Rock pullout of the driveway, waving playfully at her friends. She sat down on the porch swing, pushing herself back slowly. She was fairly sure Jan didn’t like her back. Well sure, they had jokingly flirted here and there, but most friends did. Jackie was genuinely surprised at herself for being able to play it off as a joke when it really, wasn’t. In all honesty she probably would’ve found it funny if thinking about her feelings didn’t make her want to scream. The crying she already did. She chuckled to herself, thinking about how Jan would smirk at her and throw her hair over her shoulder, before booping her gently on the nose, she thought about how her cheeks were dusted pink when she would tell her how beautiful she was. If only she thought the same things about her.

She thought about how Jan would look laying in a field with her, god she envied Nicky and Jaida. She envied all of them really. They had someone to do things like that with, But not her. All she had was her pillow to cry into and Hozier to listen to alone. She wished she could have what Rock and Heidi have, what Crystal and Gigi have, with Jan. she was starting to think she’d be alone forever, senior year and she hadn’t even had a girlfriend yet, much less her first kiss. Jackie was so lost in her thoughts she didn’t notice Jan’s car pull into the driveway. She didn’t even notice Jan until she was sat next to her, wiping away tears Jackie didn’t even know had fallen.
“I’m sorry.”

Chapter Text

Lesbians I Assume

goodemorning: have yall left the school yet?

salope: no jaida and i were gonna go the park

meth head: like a date?

essence of ball: nah just to vibe

goodemorning: can we tag along lmao

goodemorning: my mom found some polaroid pics of crystal i have and put two and two together and knows I'm gay :D

salope: oh no! would she kick you out? are you safe?

goodemorning: I'm pretty sure she wouldn't I think I am she just needs time

goodemorning: I'm just gonna stay out of the house for a while and give her some time

meth head: wait why didn't you tell me that?

goodemorning: I just didn't want you to worry :/

meth head: wait so has your mom seen my tits

goodemorning: oh my god crystal dncuenfaodmdohwfqidoqfhsygisfiwfjiehgoiqfijqopjfwqjv no I keep that on in my phone case

essence of ball: ew tmi

salope: ^^^^

essence of ball: whats up with heidi and rock anyone talked to them since before the day ended

meth head: heidi said her and rock were driving jackie to jans place and then they're going on a date to the diner up by nicky's house

dom top: hiii

essence of ball: hey bitch

salope: wait why did u drive jackie to jans don't they usually just go together

goodemorning: did something happen?

dom top: idk if its my place to say

meth head: oh ye we get that its fine

dom top: buuuuut

dom top: jackie said she texted jan about the messagesand jan told her they need to talk

goodemorning: and?

dom top: and jackies at jans place rn probably talking to her

dom top: she was freaking out bout it tho saying shit like what if she hates me for this what if its just a joke and shes not gonna wanna b my friend stuff like that

goodemorning: jesus she smart

meth head: fr tho but like

meth head: what if we took it too far guys like what if it actually affects their freindship

essence of ball: the only affect this is gonna have on their friendship is when they refer to each other instead of just friend theyll put girl in front of it lmfao

salope: that was a long ass message just to say they're in love with each other

meth head: I'm calling it now they still wont date instead theyll continue to bottle up their dumbass feelings

goodemorning: i say theyll confess to eachother

salope: jan will do it first

rock hard: cmon have some faith in jackie

essence of ball: okay but like are we gonna hang out or what

goodemorning: nngjfjajgpask right i forgot crystal and i are on the way

salope: what if we go bother jan and jackie

rock hard: no they need time to have this convo we should leave them be

essence of ball: ^^^^^ nicky and i are gonna stop at the dollar store we're bringing shark gummies, bubbles and a shitty soccer ball yall want anything

meth head: glow sticks pwease!

goodemorning: crystal methyd, five year old.

meth head: if I'm a five year old you definitely shouldmtn b dating me :P

Chapter Text

“Jan I just want you to know how sorry I am, I’m sorry if it made you uncomfortable, all the things they joke about. I’m sorry if I’ve ever made you uncomfortable, or if I made jokes that made you uncomfortable. I really didn’t mean to, Jan. I just hope you don’t hate me for it.” Jackie knew she was rambling, but she couldn’t bring herself to stop. Hell, she couldn’t even bring herself to look Jan in the eye.
“I’d understand if you don’t want to be friends anymore or if you need space, or whatever. It wouldn’t change anything, I mean, unless you want it to that’d be fine too I-“ Jackie trailed off when she finally looked at Jan; properly looked at her. She was shocked to find the girl with tears streaming down her cheeks. “Jan? Jan, baby, what’s the matter?” Jackie moved to the girl. Wrapping her arm around her waist and pulling her close. Jan shook her head, choking out another sob.

“I’m sorry, oh, god I’m sorry.” The way the brunette’s voice trembled broke Jackie’s heart.

“Sorry? Sorry for what? There’s nothing for you to apologize for, Jannie.”

“I,” the girl paused, sucking in a shaky breath, “I’m just sorry you thought I would be upset. Did you really think I would hate you? For what? For a dumb joke Heidi made?” Jackie nodded silently, holding Jan tighter as she buried her face in her shoulder.

“Jan, please don’t cry I didn’t mean to make you upset.” Jan sat up, wiping her eyes and sniffling.

“It’s not your fault. Just, a lot of emotions today. That’s all.” She smiled sadly at Jackie.

Jackie furrowed her brows, “Good or bad?” she inquired, continuing when Jan looked at her funny, her face the picture of confusion. “The emotions,” she started, “good or bad?”
Jan chuckled.

“What?” Jan asked, brows furrowing. Jackie shrugged. “I don’t even know, Jacks. I mean, I kind of thought the same things I guess you did.”

“Huh? Like, that I would hate you?” Jackie’s voice cracked as she spoke. “There’s nothing you could do in a billion years that could make me hate you.”

“That’s a lot of years.”

“It’s the truth.”

“What if I burned all your star trek merch.”

“Wouldn’t hate you.” Jackie shrugged.

“Sure.” Jan rolled her eyes, “What if I burned your star trek DVDs?”

Jackie took a moment before answering, “I still wouldn’t hate you. Well, I probably wouldn’t speak to you for an undecided amount of time but, yeah, I wouldn’t hate you.” The girls giggled quietly for bit until Jan spoke again,

“Just to be clear, there’s nothing you could do or say to make me hate you either. I love you too much for that.” The last part was a slip up. Of course, it was true; but even though Jan hadn’t meant to say it, Jackie had heard it all the same. Her eyes widened in horror as she realised what she said, she looked up at Jackie who looked just as shocked.
“You love me?”

“Well, duh.” Jan was cautious. She wasn’t ready to spill her guts to Jackie. Not just yet.

“Okay. Just to be sure, in like a friend way? Or?” Jackie trailed off, looking frantic. Jan didn’t know what to say. Did she tell Jackie, risking not having her feelings returned and the embarrassment that comes with it? Or does she play it off as a joke and regret it later? The room was dead silent and not helping Jan’s situation in the slightest. A little too late Jan realised she had definitely been quiet for too long. She took a deep breath, playing with her fingers and praying to whatever god was out there this wouldn’t end badly.

“That entirely depends on your reaction if I said its not in a friend way.” Jan said carefully, watching Jackie as her face contorted into a look of shock, confusion and finally, realization. They sat like that for a moment until Jan felt the need to fill the silence.

“It’s perfectly fine if you don’t feel the same, we could just, um, we could just forget this ever happened and go on with our lives haha. I don’t-“ Jackie cut off her rambling, cupping her cheeks with warm hands and pulling her face close, “Is it okay if I kiss you?” Jan nodded dumbly, shutting her eyes. There were no fireworks like cheesy romance novels or movies would have her believe. Just the sweet taste of Jackie’s vanilla lip balm and the smell of her perfume. They stayed like that. Running their hands though each other’s hair, lips gliding against each other. Lost in the moment until the need for air was too great to ignore. They pulled away, cheeks pink. Jackie was the first to speak.

“So,” Jackie was beaming, “Was that in a friend way or?”

Jan burst into laughter, squealing, “Jackie! Oh my god I hate you.”

“No, you don’t.” Jackie marveled.

“No, no I don’t.” Jan whispered, smiling softly, “I love you so much, you dumbass.”
Jackie was sure she had never been happier. She couldn’t stop smiling. She felt bubbly, like she had on her birthday as a kid.

“We don’t have to figure it out right now, but where do we go from here?”

“Probably,” Jan suggested with a smile, “on a date.”

Chapter Text

Lesbians I Assume

salope: okay so

salope: can you melt fingernails

salope: and if so can you inject them into your bloodstream? would they harden or if you kept you body temp warm enough would it just b there? what would be the boiling temp? the melting temp?

dom top: petition to abort the french

goodemorning: nicky what the fuck

essence of ball: I wish I had ideas like that when we had to do science fair in 8th grade

meth head: right? that would make such a good project

not this: its three am and this is what yall wake me up with

eork: to quote janet: "not this"

not this: to quote my girlfriend quoting me: "not this"

essence of ball: WAIT A DAMN MINUTE

goodemorning: GIRLFRIEND?????????

meth head: okay but who confessed first

dom top: FINALLY JESUS CHRIST

rock hard: I'm really happy for you both glad you sorted your shit out

salope: FBGHSDOGNSEOIBJOSIJGISEJPIHESHSEHGIESG GIRLFIRINED

eork: thanks rock it only took us forever

not this: idek who confessed first but there was a lot crying lmao

eork: ^^^^^

goodemorning: jackie

eork: hmm?

goodemorning: ShEs GoNnA hAtE mE

eork: I hate you fuck offfffff

not this: you cant even tease her about that hcksfnhuinudh i thought the same thing

rock hard: I told u it would b fine and look where we are

essence of ball: everybody say thank you rock

not this: thank you rock

eork: thanks rochelle

dom top: wait hold up why do we call her rock if her names rochelle

dom top: also why didmt you tell me ur gf ur names Rochelle that's so preet

eork: when we were younger I used to call her roche as a nickname and then I was like oh wait roche is rock in french and u can fill in the rest

not this: wait a minute holy fuck

not this: isn't caillou like pebble or small rock in french

eork: yeah

salope: oui

not this: caillou=bald

not this: pebbles = also bald

salope: uh what

essence of ball: no shes on to something

not this: his parents really named their bald ass child fucking pebble huh

dom top: they named their gi gre kid rosie too rihht

not this: omg yess

eork: gi gre

rock hard: and there names r mommy and daddy like pebble and gingers grandparents really just named what they predicted in the future and their kids did the same

essence of ball: explain

rock hard: we will all be rock eventually

eork: rock on a scale of crystal usually to crystal that one time how high are you

rock hard: you at the Halloween party that girl aiden threw in jnuior yea

dom top: yunior jeep

salope: wait what

not this: oh my god I remeber that xjdkkdkdkdkkdd didnt u try and eat a pumpkin

eork: no that didnt happen

essence of ball: omg i was there didnt you punch that one guy for grabbing aiden's gfs ass

not this: she threw the pumpkin at him too xkxkxkxkxkxl

eork: shut

eork: uP

essence of ball: oKay mOm

salope: why do we call her mom if she does shit like that lmfao

eork: bc I'm the mom friend

not this: moms can have fun nicky

dom top: I feel like Jan's more the mom friend than jackie tbh

eork: wut! :(

essence of ball: honestly same that makes more sense

salope: no jan isnt the mom friend shes just abby

not this: who tf is abby

eork: did u mean baby

eork: shes my baby ^_^

salope: see

salope: she just openly admitted to having a child

eork: shut up u stale croissant

dom top: Jackie r u proud of urself rock just started laughing so hard she threw up on my WHITE RUG

not this: kxkxkdkdkkd

dom top: and guess WHO was eating fucking frozen berries earlier

eork: kkxkldzjdkskkx

dom top: this is ur fault get ur ass over here and help me clean it

eork: no jan and I are cuddling

not this: yeah I'm comfy

salope: who's the big spoon

essence of ball: its jackie right

eork: ...

not this: ha

not this: wrong.

not this sent photo!

salope: maida u owo me

essence of ball: I'm gonna pretend that's legible

essence of ball: owo u what?

salope: a kith :)

dom top: gay

not this: homosexual activity detected

eork: u are gayy

eork: u r gayy

eork: u guys r gayy

eork: lesbiann

salope: no shit shamrock

essence of ball: oh my god baby

dom top: shamrock xnkxkxkxkxkxkkd

eork: does...? does she mean...?

not this: nicolette doll

not this: WAIT HOLY FUCK ISNT DOLL IN FRENCH LIKE POUPOU OR SUMN

not this: bruh moment when your last name is poopoo

dom top: gigi and crystal rlly said like one thing and dipped huh

salope: doll in french is poupeé you dumb bitch

not this: bruh moment when ur last name is poopy

Chapter Text

Lesbians I Assume

meth head: since its spooky season i think its only fair i add one of the sppookiets girls I know plus her gf

goodemorning: is it who I think it is

eork: oh no <3

meth head added aidenzhane and britafilter to the chat

meth head changed britafilter's nickname to: water

meth head changed aidenzhanes name to: boo

meth head: it spooky season dykes

boo: boo

water: aH my asthma

rock hard: i think its time for us all to finally go

dom top: costume shopping

goodemorning: its the finishing each others sentences for me

rock hard: its the showing up to school wearing crystals clothes and crystals clothes only for me

goodemorning: its the making a valentines day card months in advance before yall were even dating for me

rock hard: WHWHWHWHWHWHHW

rock hard: how did you know about thathsjfjsjajjssssss

not this: hiiiii guys its spoopy time! :D

rock hard: YOU

salope: so what are we doing for halloween

essence of ball: aiden r u having another party

boo: no my parents grounded me for like three months after that and I don't feel like it

not this: what if we all juststayed in or something? movie night

eork: that sounds fun

meth head: I want to do the ghost photo shoots

water: well halloweens on a Saturday right we could just do like

dom top: halloweekend

goodemorning: jfkdkmhfkjhlkajfs YES

eork: okay so what if on Friday night we had a movie night and then did whatever during the day on sat maybe like Halloween art and crafts stupid shit like that

essence of ball: we could carve pumpkins !!!!

salope: yess

meth head: and then at night we could go fucking feral

boo: yes full moon were wolf time

goodemorning: YES NYES YES FERAL NIGHT FERAL NIGHT

rock hard: jesus calm down

not this: don't ask who's the top and wjoes the bottom ask whos the vampire and whos the werewolf on feral Halloween moon night

eork: wjoes

dom top: I call dibs on vampire

rock hard: hot guess I'm a dog

meth head: werewolf

goodemorning: I think its time we circle back to the furry thing crys

salope: vampire also haha crystals a furryyyyyyy

meth head: fuck oofjfnfdmsahnfmanjksjmnfcakejsmnfkmnas

eork: "fuck oof"

not this: so wait are we actually gonna do the halloweekend

salope: well I thought jaida and I were gonna go to a party but she just texted me from Walmart where she buying spooky materials so yes from us

boo: brit?

water: yass

dom top: rock said yes

goodemorning: fun

meth head: I cant wait

meth head: I'm gonna do my makeup all spooky all month :D

rock hard: didn't you do a skeleton yesterday

meth head: fuck yes I did

essence of ball: you should b a pumpkin tmr

boo: yeah

goodemorning: aiden you're a rlly dry text tf

boo: oh sorry

boo: sdbfjkshdfjkhgkjsldfja yeah! :)

meth head: jcndhfnkahskhdsjkgh

not this: ,kfhjlfkaBNLKJAndkjsafn crystal she rlly came for our gig huh

meth head: how dARE

erok: gigi r u dying because I'm dying

goodemorning: THIS IS KILLING ME NDNMCASN,FNA.SjfKLSA

eork: really tho this is so funny I'm literally photosynthesizing

water: wait who the fuck is eork

boo: who the fuck is not this

not this: jan

boo: omg hi jan

water: JAN MY BESTIE HI

not this: mndhfkjahklsj HI

eork: its jackie

water: OH MY GOD YOURE THE ONE WHO THREW A PUMPKIN AT THAT GUY WHO GROPED ME AT THE PARTY RNT YOU

eork: am I ever going to live this down

water: not something to live down sis this is your legacy

not this: awe babe your legacy is throwing a pumpkin at a stinky dude

water: wait

boo: BABE????!??!?!?!!?

Chapter Text

gigi woke up. wow. she thought to herself, look at this wall. very cool wall. the wall was pink. like the color of pink things. she levitated out of bed and towards her closet. devouring it whole. mmm scrumptious. just like crystal. gigi teleported to her bathroom and ripped her shower curtain off of the pole. she ripped holes in it and put it on like a dress. wow. what a fire fit. gig made her way downstairs as the words I'm sorry for dripping played in her head repeatedly. goodmorning gigi her mother screeched gigi stopped and stared at the eldritch bitch before throwing the entire living room at her and leaving the house.

crystal was painting a painting when gigi materialized in on her lap. Fuck Gigi You Ruined My Painting. Not Pog. crystal cried.
I dont care. gigi communicates telepathically. do you want to see my detailed stick and poke of the word jenius? gigi asked. Fuck Yes. crystal replied, jumping into her bed while gigi grabbed a chair and sat down preparing to read her daughter a bed time story.
the end. gigi whispered in Crystal's ear before eating the book page by page. Wow Ehat A Good Book Gigi.

I'm going to go make a tone deaf tweet and instead of apologizing make excuses and paint me as the victim. gigi said.
Omg I'mGonna Go Retweet My Friends Apologie Instead Of Aplologizing. crystal said
Wow We Are Such Icons.

I agree screamed gigi from the void.

Chapter Text

Lesbians I Assume

meth head : KXKKDKDKTKRKKFKTKKF IM FUCKING SCREAMING OMG

goodemorning: Crystal Elizabeth I will HUNT YOU DOWN NOT A WORD

meth head: kzotiykktkfkskvkkkekcksmzkkxkx gigi zkkxkdksklxkxkxk

goodemorning: NOT

goodemorning: A

goodemorning: WORD

salope: huh what happened

essence of ball: can yall shut tf up

dom top: seriously tho I'm in the library

meth head: GIGI I NEED TO TELL THWM

goodemorning: crystal no you dont

meth head: GIGI AND I WERE WALKING OUT THE SCHOOL RIGHT

goodemorning: crystal I swear to god I know where you live

meth head: AND THERE WAS THIS HUGE PUDDLE INFRONT OF US

goodemorning: I'll never bring Nancy over again if you finish the story

meth head: :(

meth head rip nancy I guess

meth head: SO ANYWAYS

salope: did she just

essence of ball: crystal dont kill nancy for the love of god

not this: I'm with crystal she just told me what happened ndkfkkxrkkxkkx

goodemorning: CRYSTAL YPURE DEAD TO ME IM ON MY WAY TO YPUR PLACE AND TAKING MY SHIT BACK

meth head: AND GIGI WITH HER GIRAFFE LEGS AND GRACEFULNESS OF A NEWBRON DEER GOES "CRYSSY IM HONNA JUMP OVER IT

meth head: MIND YOU THE PUDDLE IS LIKE TWO ROCHELLES TALL SO ITS LIKE 4 FEET

rock hard: fuck off I'm not that short

eork: wtf I'm just trying to sit outside and write an essay but no

eork: gigi just sped down the road towards Crystal's house AND FUCKING HIT MY MAILBOX

eork: GIGI MY PARENTS ARE GOI G TO FUCKING KILL ME

eork has sent photo!

not this: tag yourself I'm jackie wearing socks with sandals

dom top: I'm the mailbox laying on the grass

salope: I'm the dead animal on the road

salope: did gigi hit that too?

eork: I THINK SHE WENT OUT OF HER WAY TO BUT IT WAS DEAD ALREADY

eork: holy FUCK that's my neighbors dog oh my fucking god

not this: marsha?

eork: marsha!

essence of ball: so not pog

dom top: did xmooofkkkf did you just

rock hard: did jaida essence hall just say pog

salope: wait jan are you guys at Crystal's house

not this: nd anymre wa r spreinating down the strata wif climbers out csrystals eindeos when we saw hzogi pull up

eork: I've got this

eork: not anymore we r sprinting down the street we climbed out crystals window when we saw gigi pull up

not this: yeag

essence of ball: jackie confirm please

eork: gigi If you're reading this no you're not its jan crystal and I are hiding in Jackie's room

meth head: SO GIGI GOES AND RUNS BUT SHES WEARING PLATFORM BOOTS SO ITS NOT REALLY A RUN AND BEFORE SHE CAN EVEN JUMP

goodemorning: CRYSTAL I AM IN YOUR ROOM TAKING MY THINGS I WILL TAKE THE STRAWBERRY LIPHLOSS TOO

meth head: not my stwaberry lipgwoss:((((

meth head: fine I wont tell them :(

goodemorning: thank you baby I'm putting my stuff back and leaving your house :)))

meth head: okay drive safely! please jesus christ rip Jackie's mailbox

goodemorning: this is an automated message: GiGi Goode is driving right now and will get back to you when they reach their destination.

not this: now that shes driving

not this: crystal wont tell you but I will :))))

salope: oh yeah poggers

rock hard: nicky not you too

essence of ball: jan be careful omfg

not this: so before gigi can even jump she slips on some snow slush and FUCKING FALLS IN THIS DEEP ASS PUDDLE AND GETS ABSOLUTELY SOAKED

eork: oh my god xjdkozkfkdkktkfkf

essence of ball: IM FUCKING CRYING THIS IS GREAT

salope: IM FUCKING PHOTOSYNTHESIZING OH MY GOD XOOAKFMKFTIDO3IFKEOOSX

rock hard: BAHSHAHABBAHAHABAH

dom top: d9tiek2ooxoKKk-kkrk(*$9¥÷($(#¥*-*kzkroaozkk◇●[\◇○◇☆◇◇●♡□◇?-(('Kkkkdkkfsoofkwjfkdoxiskeog8eornmzkidj

meth head: AND I GOT IT ON VIDEO TOO

math head sent a video: clumsy.geege.vid

eork: THIS IS SO FUCKING GOOD IM LITERALLY SCREAMONG AND DJ3KEOEKKDKDKFORK99FEKFOKSKGIDOFM

rock hard: HAHEHAHHAHEHEAHHAHSJJAJJAJSJEJSJAJAHHEHAJAH

salope: sacre bleu hon hon titty croissant

essence of ball: IM FUCKING DYING OH MYG GOD NICKY EHAD FKKFKTKFKGKFKKFL

dom top: JFKTORKROQOFDORKFORKKFORFHJTOOZLFLZLKKK,"¥2*$(¥×("*-*$*$¥$£¥@¥%,#₩¥$*,$?-(♡○●[\[◇•]□♡□◇•◇◇●♡¡¤▪

rock hard: we fucking broke Heidi

not this: jxkfxkkdkdodkdkdk nicky what the hell jxkxkxkxkxk

not this: IM FUCKING CRYONG JACKIE JUST LAUGHED SO HARX FUCKING ROOT BEER CAME OUT OF HER NOSE HAHDJSJDKDKKD

eork: dont bully me wtf!

eork: that hurt like bitch jesus

essence of ball: I can imagine

rock hard: what if I snorted Sprite

don top: do it no balls

rock hard: ouch that was not fun

meth head: JESUS FUCK GIGI JUST THREW OPEN JACKIES DOOR AND HER HAIRS STILL WET SHE LOOKED LIKE A FUCKING SWAMP WITCH SO JAN JACKIE AND I JUMPED OUT HER WINDOW AND NOW WE ARE RUNNING TO MCDONALDS TO HIDE IN THE PLAY THING SPOT IM USING VOICE TO TEXT BY THE WAY

essence of ball: GIRL WHAT ISNT JACKIES ROOM ON THE SECOND FLOOR

eork: JAIDA WHY DO YOU THINK THE TRAMPOLINE IS PEFECTLY SITUATED UNDER MY WINDOW I KNEW THE DAY WOULD COME WHEN I COULD USE THIS FOR REASONS OTHER THAN SNEAKING OUT TO GET HIGH WITH JAN THIS IS ALSO VOICE TO TEXT

dom top: I left the library rock and I r at nicky's place now xkxkkxkxlxl I'm dying lmfao xdkkdkdkkx

salope: they calmed down and now rock said to tell you they wont be texting they're bussy trying to astral project to The Chase as in gigi hunting crystal jan and jackie for sport

essence of ball: the chat is wild tonight bejdkdkkxkx

not this: BUSSY XKKXKDKKXKX

salope: BUSY I MEANT BUSY DJIEKDKWODFKXKDODKD

eork: we are eating nuggies in the slide and a snot nosed little bitch of a six year old came up to us

meth head: and I was like oh shit what's up angelica from rugrats and she goes why are you guys in the slide my mommy said we cant just sit in the slide

not this: and crystal goes well my girlfriend is hunting us for sport right now so we are hiding

eork: and the kid goes oh! that's fun. is she a werewolf?

meth head: and of course I said yes yes she is

eork: so the kid leaves

not this: and a couple minutes later she comes back WITH GIGI AND GOES IS THIS YOUR WEREWOLF???

eork: and gigi is like oh thank you honey I AM her werewolf and I need to talk to my girlfriend right now If you dont mind :)

not this: so the girl is like okay! and goes back to playing right

eork: and gigi grabs crystal and drags her out of McDonalds by the pig tails

meth head: okay I took Crystal's phone for a second because shes driving us to the forest now its gigi

not this: and jackie and I get up and follow them and mind u theres only like three ppl in the McDonalds and that's us the little girl and her mom and lemon and priyanka from school

eork: and they're all staring while Crystal's crying like no gigi I'm sorry it was funny tho as shes dragged out

not this: and aiden who was working there is like should I call the cops and we r like no and we show her the messages and shes like crying laughing now too

essence of ball: I didnt even know that girl could smile wow

salope: This is like a movie shjdkdkkdkdd the cinematography of it all xjxkxkxkx

essence of ball: WAIT DID YOU SAY THE WOODS GIGI NO

not this: oh my god shes gonna murder crystal

eork: well it cant be that bad if she wanted to kill her she would've driven them herself

dom top: it didnt work :( also MISS COX WAS THAT A BURN JDKDODKDKKDKDX

rock hard: we watched a tutorial and everything :((( THIS CONVO THO HOLY SHIT

meth head: it's still gigi and no I'm not going to kill her we are going to an abandoned cabin I found the other week to talk and by talk I mean shes going to watch as I tell you all one of Crystal's embarrassing stories

meth head: she said it was okay I would never just sit by and tell you all while she repeatedly said not to

not this: are you like legit mad or heat of the moment mad

eork: yeah what jan said I'm getting worried

not this: if you're like legit mad I'm sorry I told them geege

meth head: im fine but jan you are on thin ice

not this: ... ahhaaha me and crystal before we told yall: 🎿🎿🎿🎿🎿🎿🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️

eork: HAHAHAHAHAHDHAHH

rock hard: jan omggjskfkkdkdlxk

salope: ahhahshahhahahahahsjdsjs

essence of ball: skatingvgg I love skating

dom top: skating is so fun skating is so relaxing

meth head: its crystal again guys I'm scared gigi's phone died btw that's why she was using mine

not this: wait you have to tell us

meth head: yep 😃

salope: us just watching this eating our popcorn

meth head: okay so heres what happened

Chapter Text

Lesbians I Assume

boo: I just got off work. and by just got off of work I mean I may or may not have gotten fired. :)))

water: I am awake

water: hold on wait up

water: bitch you got fired

water: what how

boo: ha

boo: um

boo: well you see

meth head: do yall mind I'm trying to embarrass crystal

meth head: its golgi by the way crystal was being a pussy so I have to do this for her

eork: okay Golgi

not this: Golgi Goode <3

salope changed goodemorning's nickname to: golgi

meth head: I despise you all

essence of ball: cmon golgi tell the damn story

meth head: jaida I stg

meth head: so before crystal and I started dating

meth head: okay quick pause crystal seems to have stolen my phone and car I will be right back

eork: EHAT NDJSJSJSJSJS

golgi: its crystal hi hello I am using voice to text and driving gigi's car back to her house jackie and jan you better be there to pick me up and hide me and someone should probably go get golgi goode

not this: Fuck no we wont be :)

eork: yeah sorry crystal I'm literally terrified of gigi I've seen her throw knives at trees for fun and being chased by her again sounds very not fun

eork: golgi I will be there to pick you up from the cabin xjxjxjkssksk

not this: yeah but first we r getting snacks

rock hard: crystal just come over to nicky's place we have cwoissanst

boo: you have fucking what

water: bitch speaking can you do it

salope: this is way too crazy for something that could literally be solved by us all hanging out and gigi just telling us the story

dom top: seriously tho

water: golgi can you just tell us the damn story

meth head: fine

meth head: so I was hanging out with my old friends

boo: the het cheerleaders?

meth head: the het cheerleaders.

meth head: and we were sitting at a picnic table at the school and crystal like sprints out of the school followed by daegen and lux

eork: oh my god I know this one

water: daegen is that pink bitvh right?

water: I saw her drink bong water once

golgi: it wasnt bong water it was just water that happened to be in a bong

boo: so... bong water

golgi: .... perhaps

meth head: bitch

meth head: can you guys shut the fuck up

golgi: I'm at Walmart

dom top: wait aiden how did you get fired

not this: ^^ what she said!!

meth head: Heidi, shut the fuck up nobody cares.

dom top: 👁💧👄💧👁

golgi: overdosed on vitamin d

golgi: call me icarus

golgi: got your girl choking on my d

golgi: call me vigorous

water: What.

eork: what

not this: ok corpse

dom top: 8GIRIISE8E7AIIE8EUZNDNJQQ8E

rock hard: I WHAT HUH CRYSTAL WH NCDJJDJD

essence of ball: I dont have a single clue what is going on

boo: wait is that an actual song

golgi: nah I'm just a lyrical genius

boo: disappointing

golgi: WAIT we should do coochie raps

essence of ball: YES YES YES crystal you genius

golgi: as rap goddess, I'll go first

golgi: coochie so sweet, coochie shower

golgi: coochie dont eat, coochie devour

essence of ball: coochie purchase gucci , coochie make bank, coochie uses dove, coochie dont stank

rock hard: coochie coochie, someone please help me this a cry for help, coochie coochie

water: coochie a top, coochie dont receive, coochie sly, coochie deceive

boo: coochie gay, coochie gay, gay coochie, I'm a lesbian

salope: coochie work for amazon, coochie delivers, coochie a dyke, coochie like to scissor

dom top: KFKRKKRKDKD NICKY

dom top: coochie man coochie man we like coochie wanna see my dog

eork: I dont think I can top Heidi, rock or aiden so I'm going to have to sit out

golgi: I made a fort in the paper towel shelf! :D

golgi has sent a photo!

eork: crystal

eork: why

golgi: so I can lay down :) I deserve a break

meth head: dear lord I'm about to bust

golgi: gigi my sweet sweet girlfriend

golgi: what in the fresh hell are you referring to

meth head: I'm referring to how none of you whore slut straggots will shut the fuck up. crystal said she had something to say and yall were like Oh please tell. oh? it's about gigi? even better. I cant even say one fucking thing to get even without crystal saying some stupid ass shit that has no fucking relation to what people were saying before

essence of ball: woah golgi calm down

meth head: I'm so fucking sick of you cunts

not this: well maybe if you werent such an entitled fucking bitch this wouldnt be happening Gigi.

meth head: and what's that supposed to mean Jan.

not this: nothing.

meth head: really.

dom top: I'm scared. is anybody else scared?

not this: just how you think everything needs to go your way and it's always some big personal attack when it doesnt.

not this: half the time when we talk irl you talk over crystal anyways so when she has something to say we try to listen maybe she should've stopped when you said not to tell us but we know now and guess what?

not this: falling in a puddle isnt a big deal.

not this: you're not three, you dont need to go off and cry about every minor inconvenience and I'm so fucking tired of you acting liek that's how it is.

boo: liek

not this: Aiden I swear to god.

boo: sorry👽🦎👾✌🍽

not this has left the chat

salope: what

water: what in the fuck just happened

rock hard added not this back to the chat

not this: AND ANOTHER THING

salope: oh god

not this: crystal nobody gives a fuck about your coochie raps

not this has left the chat

meth head: well if that's how you all feel.

meth head: crystal come back to the cabin I want my shit back. I'm not mad at you it's fine but I refuse to sit here and be berated

meth head: jackie you can tell your bitch of a girlfriend I said shes a cunt

eork: um I will not thanks tho

eork: and like

essence of ball: what the fuck

salope: is jan okay that was OOC

water: what does ooc mean

dom top: out of character

golgi: is that actually how you all feel???

golgi: I dont feel like gigi interrupts me :////

boo: no crys that's not how we all feel I think Jan's just going through sumn rn

water: yeah I'm sure she didnt mean that I love your coochie raps

rock hard: yeah! they're epic poggers

salope: I agree! crystal is certainly the PogChampion of Coochie Raps :)

dom top: jackie are you checking in on jan??

eork: yeah she said to tell you all to, and I quote " eat a bag of balls and die" which she would never say?? I dont know what's wrong I'm sorry u guys I'm sure she didnt mean it

golgi: okay its gigi again. and jackie theres no need to apologize for Jan, she's her own person

meth head: I'm sorry for being really aloof like that :( I didnt realise how much I was doing it

meth head: I'll stop I'm sorry guys :((

meth head: I think I'm gonna go to bed

meth head: goodnight everyone

water: gurl what I'm still so confused