Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

I can’t believe this. I can’t believe what had just happened…what I was just told.

I can’t believe my parents would do such a thing—to keep this secret from me for so long!

I guess that settles it now. The beans have finally been spilt…

It’s all true…

I am not human.

Of course, I’ve known this for a while, pretty much my whole life. Now that everything has been confirmed, it seems too absurd to be believable.

I don’t know what to believe anymore. I don’t even know my own identity anymore. I feel like my whole life has been a big, fat lie.

Only one thing is for certain, one thing that stands above all other absurdities:

I am an unearthly child.

A freak.

A nobody.

An alien.

An alien whose name was never the name that her human guardians gave her.

An alien who always seems to stand out from a large crowd, simply because her IQ is way too advanced for her age.

An alien who obviously has superpowers way beyond Planet Earth.

An alien who doesn’t have a clue where she truly comes from.

An alien whose true name will haunt her for the rest of her days:

Nova Susan Song.

As much as I like the sound of the whole name put together, I don’t want it to be mine. I don’t want to possess the name of someone whom the entire universe seems to want dead. If I was born human—if I was normal—I wouldn’t have to worry about such things. I could have normal rights, normal friends, a normal family…

A normal life.

But my life was never normal, and it will never be normal again.

Chapter Text

Even though Nova Song was my real name, it was not always my name. Throughout my life on Earth, I went by a different name, which I had believed to be my real name—Sydney Elise. My biological parents wanted my guardians, Jim and Josie Elise, to use a different name for me to better hide me from their enemies, but I wasn’t going to know any of this until much later in my life, same for my true name or any other secrets of my strange, complicated life. As most well know, this is to be expected when one is too young to discover and understand such knowledge—which is stupid, I know. 

My toddler years were pretty uneventful; in other words, nothing related to aliens and time-travel happened during that time, at least near where my parents and I lived. I had heard of the strange alien invasions happening all over the world, but none close to my hometown of Stilwell, Kansas. I always thought these so-called ‘alien invasions’ were elaborate hoaxes, just weird events that people ran to be noticed on camera because they had nothing better to do, but when people started talking about how serious the events actually were—like, when they started talking about people getting killed—I rethought things and started taking the events more seriously. I noticed that most of the invasions happened in the city of London, England, which was a city my parents and I had longed to visit. At the time, I never really understood why London seemed like a major hotspot for alien activity. I figured it had something to do with my real parents, but, again, I wasn’t going to find that out for a long time.

Because there was nothing eventful during my toddler years, my story does not begin there. It actually begins with something called Regeneration. It happened when I was four years old; although, needless to say, despite my actual age, my parents believed I had the mind of an eight-year-old, because I had the intellect of an eight-year-old (this was another ability I possessed that defined me as not human). At the time this happened, I was having massive pains from my adult teeth growing in. Because I wasn’t human, this allowed me to lose my baby teeth at a much earlier age. My parents gave me aspirin to help soothe the pain, but this ended up being the worst mistake they had ever made. Instead of healing me, the aspirin made me sick and gave me a severe allergic reaction that I would rather not describe. My family and I experienced a long night with me feeling like I was physically dying from the effects of the aspirin, which was actually happening, in a way.

Because I was severely allergic to aspirin, the med was physically killing every cell in my four-year-old body, but luckily I was able to survive the incident. My body suddenly began to glow an unearthly gold color and began bursting, like a firework, out of me in all directions. I remembered it being seriously painful, because I felt like I was being dipped in molten lava, that I was literally being burnt alive. This lasted about thirty seconds, according to my parents, but to me it seemed to last forever.

I thought for sure I was going to die, until the energy finally died down, and I felt a strange feeling I could not describe. It wasn’t just the feeling of being alive, although I could not believe how I actually could still be alive after that terrifying ordeal. Eventually, I described the feeling as being “renewed,” because that was what physically happened. That strange phenomenon was what my parents described as “regenerating,” meaning that my previous sick body had been recreated into a healthier new one, but one that still belonged to me. I no longer felt the effects of the aspirin, but I felt physically different somehow.

Despite my parents freaking out over the fact that their daughter had physically changed bodies—which was impossible for a regular human to do—right in front of them, I ignored them and immediately ran to my mirror on the opposite side of my bedroom to see what physical changes were made during my regeneration. I discovered that my body looked like one of a six-year-old, but otherwise looked—surprisingly—the same, just slightly older, and taller. I also noticed that all my adult teeth had grown in, and that my eyes looked a lot greener than they were before. I was born with green eyes and had always wondered why I came out with that eye color when neither of my parents had green eyes. Throughout my life, I often received comments about my unusual eyes and how they seemed much older than they should’ve been, which was a trait I shared with my biological father, which was, again, something I wouldn’t know for a while.

Even though it was not a change I could physically see, there was an even stranger thing that was different from my previous body: I now had two hearts. Right after the glow faded from my new body, I immediately felt a queasy feeling in my chest. My heart was beating in a very irregular way, almost as if I somehow had more than one heart, which was exactly the case. Somehow during my regeneration, my body had grown in a second heart, and it was now something that was permanently a part of me, because it was something I was going to need to survive. What I had yet to find out was that this was the moment when I officially became a Time Lord…well, physically, anyway. 

Because the second heart felt so strange to me, I begged my parents to take me to the hospital to have the extra heart removed, as I felt like it was some kind of virus, or contamination, or something that wasn’t supposed to be there and could end up making me sicker than the aspirin—or worse, end up killing me—if not removed soon. My parents’ response was quite the surprise to my (new) ears, as they said it was perfectly normal for me to grow in a second heart toward the end of my first regeneration, and that if they had the extra heart removed from my chest, it could kill me, even though I thought the exact opposite—that possessing the second heart would kill me over not possessing it. Apparently I needed this extra heart to stay alive, although I had no idea how, since humans needed only one heart to survive. It was like I turned into some kind of superhuman, and somehow possessing only one heart was no longer enough for me to stay alive, so now I needed two. After a few days, I got used to having the second heart, and it eventually felt like I had always possessed the extra heart since birth.

Another fact I would learn about regeneration was that, apparently, it can have strange after-effects on people, such as hallucinations; although, what I saw I believed was not a hallucination. I remembered seeing a figure I had not noticed before standing in the opposite corner of my bedroom while the regeneration was still taking place. The figure was a tall woman with massive curly hair and wore dark clothing. She was just standing there, still as a statue, and appeared ghostlike. The woman appeared right before the glow appeared from my body. She stood there the entire time, silently watching my life force burst out of me, although she seemed to have a sympathetic look on her face, like a mother would for her sick child. I tried pointing the woman out to my parents, but I was in so much pain from the energy that I could not get a word out. Once the energy stopped, and my mother rushed to me to check on me, the woman stood there for a few extra seconds before she lifted her wrist and started interacting with a leather strap that was fastened there. I managed to lift a finger to point to where the woman was standing, and my parents glanced to where I was pointing, but they both shook their heads and said there was nobody there, even when I could physically see there was someone standing there. A second later, the woman vanished from the spot, leaving no trace of ever being in the room.

Shortly after my parents and I had calmed down from the terrifying regeneration, and after I was finally able to speak, I mentioned there being a woman standing in the corner of the room where I was pointing and described what she looked like, but my parents convinced me there was nobody else in the room and that I must have been hallucinating after the effects of the regeneration. Even though I was fairly certain I was not hallucinating, they still did not believe me and instead told me to get some rest. Needless to say, I did not get a minute of sleep for the rest of the night. How could I after I had literally changed bodies and now had two hearts beating irregularly in my chest? I honestly did not feel human anymore after that moment, which was true, because this was how my odd life started, and little did I know it was only going to become stranger down the road.

The next day, my parents and I had hardly spoken about the events of the previous night. My guess was that they were still in shock from the results, which I could not blame them for, because I honestly felt the same way. Because I was physically a different person, they may not have seen me as the same daughter they raised; they may have seen me as a complete stranger that had replaced their daughter with someone else that wasn’t their daughter. This was not true, obviously, because I still possessed the same memories as their daughter; therefore, I was still their daughter, but maybe not physically anymore. I proved it to them by telling them to ask me something only their daughter would know, and I answered it correctly. This continued for another few questions until they were finally convinced that I was the same person they raised and loved as their own.

Eventually, we were brave enough to discuss the regeneration. The conversation was something like this:

“What happened to me last night?” I asked, still feeling concerned about my health after what had happened. Was it going to happen again at some point? And if so, when? “Why do I look so different?”

After I had asked this question, I was not sure if it was the right time to ask, since both my parents glanced at each other uncertainly, like they were afraid I would ask for answers eventually, and they hoped I would forget after a while. Obviously, I did not forget; otherwise, I would not have asked.

My mother decided to answer. “When we gave you the aspirin, you apparently got a severe allergic reaction to it,” she explained. “The golden glow was your body’s way of reacting to the aspirin, but instead of making you better, it decided to change your physical appearance entirely.”

“Well…sort of,” my father added. “You actually don’t look that much different; just physically older…and more beautiful.” I had to raise an eyebrow at his words, because I honestly did not consider my new appearance as beautiful. If anything, I felt like an outcast—an alien, if you will.

“We knew you were allergic to aspirin, but we forgot about it and gave it to you anyway,” Mom confessed with tears in her eyes. “The aspirin killed your younger body, so it forced you to regenerate into a new body.”

At an older age, I would have viewed these words as saying that she did not see me as her daughter anymore, which probably would have hurt more than the actual regeneration, but me being a four-year-old kid not knowing how to react to her words, I asked instead, “Regenerate? What does that mean?”

“Regeneration is what allows you to heal and regrow new limbs; or, in your case, your entire body,” Mom explained. “Lizards can do this. You ever see someone on TV chop off a lizard’s tail and watch the lizard regrow a new tail? That is what regeneration is. Starfish do it too.”

I then thought, if lizards and starfish are able to regenerate, surely humans could do it too. I mean, I did it. So I asked, “What about humans?”

After I asked my question, I saw my parents glance at each other anxiously, like they were hoping I would never ask this question and were seemingly disappointed that I had. It was like they knew something that I didn’t, and they were not ready to share the information with me; but since I had asked, they seemed to feel as if they were now obligated to tell me the truth, or at least something that was close to the truth.

Mom decided to answer for Dad. “Humans can’t completely generate new bodies for themselves, but they can heal themselves,” she said. “That’s how your skin repairs itself after you scrape a knee. The human skeleton completely regenerates every seven years, but it doesn’t emit a golden glow like yours can. That’s what makes you so unique in the world.”

Feeling like this did not answer my question fully, I asked, “But how can my body glow if no one else can glow like me? I’ve never seen anyone glow on TV, except for superheroes. Superman’s eyes can glow and shoot lasers. Could I be like him?” Because of my abilities, I was hoping they would be something of a benefit rather than a burden. Maybe if people found out about my abilities, they might see them as superpowers and would think of me as a superhero instead of a foreigner.

My parents laughed. “Quite possibly. But Superman is a fictional character; he’s not real.”

“But he’s an alien,” I pointed out. “He’s from Krypton.” So what if he were fictional? Superman and I had something in common, possibly more.

My mother nodded. “Yes, that’s true; but he doesn’t exist in the real world.” She then continued, “As for why your body can glow if no one else’s can, and that you somehow grew in a second heart, those are hard questions to answer. We don’t really know why you have this ability; we just know this is an unusual ability you have.”

One thing I did not know at the time this was said was that this was actually a lie. They knew exactly why I could regenerate and nobody else could, but they decided to keep this secret from me, and not just because I was too young. They seemed to also know that much like Superman, I was an alien too, but most likely one that was not from Krypton.  

“Like a superpower?” I asked excitedly. At the time, my young mind—or rather, my new young mind—was thinking, how cool would it be to have superpowers to show off to the world? I would be the most popular girl in the world.

Mom laughed again. “Yes, I guess you could call it that.”

Hearing these words was music to my ears. In my young mind, my parents were saying I had permission to show off my powers to the world. I was so happy, I could feel my grin touching my ears, but when I noticed my parents’ serious looks on their faces, my grin immediately slipped off my face, suddenly realizing that this was not, in fact, the case.

“You are very special, Sydney,” Dad said, “and very rare. Our neighbors say you seem a lot smarter than the average boy and girl of your age, which is amazing. You have abilities that no one would begin to imagine, but it can cause a lot of questions to come up—questions we don’t really know how to answer.”

“And because of this,” Mom added just as seriously, “we want you to never speak of these abilities, or even about what happened last night, to anyone, Sydney. This is very important. You can never tell anyone.”

I frowned. “Why not?”

Shaking his head, my father said, “We can’t say, not yet. We just need you to promise us that you will never tell anyone outside the house about your superpowers. Don’t tell anyone, not even your best friends. Promise us, Sydney. Please.”

I could not believe them. Why were they doing this? This was going to be like a dream come true, and now they were seemingly taking that away from me. At the time, I did not know what it was I did wrong to deserve this, but the truth was that I did nothing wrong, and that was the worst thing about the situation.

Since I did not have a valid argument or logical way to explain the emotions going through my head, I reluctantly did the only thing I could. I agreed, sighing, “Okay, I promise. But why can’t you say anything yet about why I can’t tell anyone?”

“Because you’re not yet old enough,” Mom answered, although I was not sure if this was an honest answer. “You’ll understand someday, just not today. Just keep our promise, and you won’t have to worry about a thing.”

Even though I agreed to keep the secret, I still believed my parents were hiding other secrets of my abilities’ origins. I decided that if they were not going to share their secrets with me, then I was going to find them out for myself. I was never a patient person (and it was only going to become much worse as I got older), so I was going to take matters into my own hands, and I was not going to let anyone stop me from getting the answers I wanted. 

Chapter Text

I thought changing bodies, along with growing in a second heart, was weird. Little did I know things were going to get weirder as I grew up, even through my school years.

Surprisingly, my first couple of years of school were pretty normal. Well…at least as “normal” as school could ever be. I received my typical education in a normal schooling environment. I studied the normal subjects as every other elementary school student, such as basic literature, science, mathematics, and world history (the last three being ones I had a particular knack for, especially world history), as well as the “extra” subjects, like PE and arts and crafts. I participated in other normal activities, like school assemblies and holiday celebrations. I even was able to make a few normal human friends, despite my obvious—at least ones that were obvious to me—non-human aspects.

Not knowing I would experience these normal few years, I was a bit nervous to go to school, especially as a non-human (not that I knew I was non-human back then, which I didn’t). Even after my parents urged me to keep my regenerative powers and two hearts a secret, I wasn’t sure if leaving their watchful eyes was a good idea. Before this, my parents greatly considered homeschooling me, but then my dad suggested going to a proper school would be better for me, as it would help me become more familiar with the world and feel more encouraged to ask for help, especially from those who weren’t my parents. He said that at some point I would need to feel comfortable to live my life as normally as I could possibly live it and not let my non-human superpowers keep me in the dark since I wasn’t allowed to reveal them.

“Be like Clark Kent,” he said to me on my first day of Kindergarten. “Live your life like a regular human, but don’t show your superpowers to anyone. Do that, and you’ll be the greatest non-human human on Earth.”

“‘Non-human human?’” I remembered asking him, puzzled at such an unusual phrase. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that despite your seemingly non-human abilities, that should never stop you from living your life like everyone else,” he explained. “Just be your normal human self, even if you don’t see yourself as ‘normal’ because of your abilities. Be strong, be brave…but further most, be smart. Your strengths and your knowledge are what make you invincible. You can do anything, so long as you follow those three rules.”  

If I knew better, I would’ve realized that my father had actually admitted that I wasn’t human by saying those words; but, of course, me being the five-year-old kid I was at the time, I had no realization of this whatsoever. The only thing I got out of this discussion was that I was to pretend to be like Superman, but as his human alias Clark Kent. Clark lived a normal life working as a journalist in the city, but he never showed off his superpowers in the workplace that made him…well…Superman. As my dad was escorting me to school, I realized that he wanted me to do the exact same thing as Clark Kent, but as a regular school student and whatever other profession I may pursue in my later life.

So, that was exactly what I did in my first two years of school. I worked hard and received top marks in my lessons, and my teachers were most impressed with my level of intelligence, which was way beyond the Kindergarten/First-Grade level. Of course, all I could really say about that was that the comprehension of the topics came naturally to me and had absolutely nothing to do with possible superpowers way beyond Planet Earth (the latter being a total lie, of course). I never let my fear of accidentally showing off my superpowers come to the surface. I just stayed my normal human self, just as my dad had said.

It all worked out in my favor, because I was able to make a couple of new friends. In Kindergarten, I met a girl named Samantha Owens. Samantha and I became fast friends and did everything together until Samantha had started to become highly centered on only herself, which I hadn’t realized was happening until I met another girl in our same grade named Hazel McAdams, who had transferred to our school in First Grade. When Hazel helped me see Samantha for what she truly was, I immediately ended my friendship with her and directed it all toward Hazel, who became my new best friend.

Through Hazel, I quickly learned that Samantha was one of those manipulative brats that would pretend to be your friend and then would stab you in the back once you were deep enough in her grasp. Hazel, on the other hand, was the exact opposite of Samantha. Unlike Samantha, Hazel was very selfless and caring about those closest to her, though her pretty looks failed to prevent her from being viewed as being from the “popular crowd” (she was never really into that). Despite her pretty looks, she always strived to help others and put smiles on everyone’s faces, and she was never afraid to make her opinion known. When we first met, Hazel admitted that she never thought Samantha was the right friend for me, and she helped me see that. As thanks, I insisted that Hazel be my friend, since she was struggling to fit into our school anyway, and she graciously accepted. Hazel and I were thick as thieves from then onward.

We did everything together, from partnering up with each other when we’d have class activities to swinging side by side on the swing set during recess. On most weekends, we would even find time to go to each other’s houses for sleepovers and the usual “play dates,” especially when I’d found out Hazel moved into my neighborhood, but she had moved into a house on the other side of the small creek that sliced our neighborhood in half (Hazel moved into the front section, and I lived in the back). To make life easier for us to visit each other, we made a bridge out of rocks in the creek, which other kids in our neighborhood started using as well to get across. Throughout those years, Hazel seemed like my one and only friend, which was fine with me, because if there was ever a time I would’ve had to share my big secret to anyone, better to reveal it to one person rather than a whole bunch of people, as it would prevent my secret from spreading so quickly. If I was going to reveal my big secret to anyone, it would be to my best friend, especially when she was really good at keeping secrets.

After almost a full year of knowing each other, I often thought about actually sharing my secret to Hazel, but every time I thought about it, I was always nervous about how she would react to my superpowers. Would she feel overjoyed of the prospect of being close friends with a real-life superhero? Or would she feel weirded out that I might be a psychotic alien from Outer Space that may attempt to control her mind with my own, or perform some sick experiments on her, when she least expects it, like you see in those old sci-fi horror movies? I hated the thought of losing the one friend I may ever have for the rest of my non-human life, should I tell her the truth of my strange abilities, even when I knew next to nothing about their origins myself.

Because the very thought often scared me, I ultimately decided not to tell Hazel anything about my powers unless there came a time I would have to use them while she was in the same room with me; like, for example, I felt like I was going to regenerate again (this thought made me wonder how Hazel would react to seeing me change bodies in front of her—not good, was the first thought that came to mind). Often times when people are born different, they would have the fear of not being accepted into a family or group, and I often felt this exact fear when thinking about Hazel. It was only a matter of time before she—or anyone—would find out about my superpowers, despite my promise to my parents that I would never tell anyone, including Hazel, and I was afraid about whether or not she’d still accept me as a friend if she did find out. Only time would tell.

Apparently time did tell of when my secret would be revealed, but unfortunately it happened in a very bad and unexpected way. Surprisingly, it wasn’t me who’d revealed my secret but rather a complete stranger, and a dangerous one at that. Luckily no one—except for me—was even aware that it was my secret that had been revealed to the entire school, but it sure brought a lot of fear and confusion into everyone’s heads (including mine, as I had absolutely no idea how the stranger could’ve possibly known my secret in the first place), regardless of the situation.

It was a normal, boring Monday morning, just a handful of weeks after I started Second Grade. My class and I were watching one of those educational videos that was based on a book we were reading; but rather than watch the video like we were supposed to, Hazel and I were talking instead, although I was ninety-eight percent positive that we weren’t the only ones. Hazel was telling me a story of a genius prank she played on her older brother over the weekend when it happened. First, the sense came before any other action—the sense that something bad was about to happen. When the sense first hit me, I wasn’t immediately sure why I was sensing it, or even how I was sensing it—maybe this was another of my strange superpowers, I thought, like a Spider Sense, but not a ‘Spider’ Sense—so I didn’t think much of it. But then, the intruder alarm suddenly went off, nearly scaring everyone out of their seats. A second after, the principal’s panicked voice on the PA system told everyone this was not a drill and to lock all doors and windows immediately; we were going into lockdown. The teacher, Mrs. Besel, ordered everyone to huddle behind her desk as she ran to lock the classroom door, close the blinds of our large window, and shut off the lights. Hazel and I, being faster than everyone else, were the first to huddle in the corner opposite the door with our backs against the wall, and the rest of the class huddled around us.

At first, everyone seemed confused as to what was going on, not knowing what to think of the situation. It was very rare to have ‘drills’ that weren’t practice ones, and usually when a proper drill happened, it meant there was something very wrong happening in or around the building, and the sense of danger, now stronger than it was before, told me as much.

The sense had reached its peak when I started hearing screams of a grown man coming from the other side of the building. I glanced around at my peers, including Hazel and the teacher, but none of them seemed to hear him. I immediately added ‘super-hearing’ as another of my non-human abilities.

“I know you’re here, Time Lord!” the intruder yelled at the top of his lungs. “Come out and show yourself, and none of your peers will be harmed!”

Time Lord? I thought to myself. What on earth is a Time Lord? It was an unusual name and was one I had never heard before. I briefly wondered if the name came out of a Star Trek episode I missed, or one that I had watched but didn’t pay enough attention to.

“What?” Hazel murmured in my ear. I then realized I must’ve said my thought out loud, and she heard me, but luckily no one else did.

“The man in the school is looking for someone,” I murmured back, “a ‘Time Lord,’ whatever that is.”

“A Lord of Time, probably,” Hazel clarified, and I couldn’t help but think her definition to be the most unhelpful in the universe. She then paused in shock. “Wait, there’s a man in the school?”

Apparently Hazel had said that a bit too loudly because several of my other peers started panicking even more than they were when the lockdown drill had started.

“What? A man broke into the school? Are you serious?”

“What is he doing here? What does he want?”

“He’s not here to kill us, is he?”

“I don’t want to die!”

While everyone else was worrying about their lives, Hazel whispered with a frown, “How do you know there’s a man in the school? Can you hear him?”

I whispered back with a light nod, “Yeah, he’s on the other side of the building. He sounds homicidal.”

Hazel frowned again. “Homicidal? What does that mean?”

I sighed, not wanting to terrify my best friend and other peers further. “Okay,” I said, leaning closer to Hazel’s ear, “don’t freak out, but it means that he is here to kill anyone and everyone who gets in the way of his prize…whoever this ‘Time Lord’ person is. He threatened to harm everyone in the school if the ‘Time Lord’ didn’t show his or herself, and he’s probably not going to leave until the person is handed over to him.”

After I finished speaking, I was suddenly astounded at how calm I was feeling, despite the terrifying situation and the possible fact that some of us in the school—if not all of us—could very well die today if this ‘Time Lord’ person didn’t hand his or herself over to the maniac. For some reason, I couldn’t help but think this guy was after me, knowing of my superpowers. Maybe he wanted them for himself or for someone, or some group, he was working for, I thought.

My teacher abruptly spoke up, taking notice of our obvious fear. “Settle down, children. Everyone stop talking now. If it’s true there is an intruder in the school, we can’t let him hear us.”

There was silence for another minute until the man’s voice could be heard across the hall again, but this time, everyone else could hear him too, based on the panicked looks on their faces.

“Come on out, little Time Tot,” the man said in a sing-song voice, sounding ever closer to our classroom door. He was so close now, I could hear him, clear as crystal, through the wall. “Surely you don’t want anyone of your friends or teachers to die? I’ll tear this place apart brick-by-brick, even if it means killing everyone inside. In fact, I might just do that; it’d be the only way to know how to find you.”

Most of the other kids in the class gasped at this statement. A handful of them even started sobbing, thick tears streaming down their faces.

“Don’t worry, you’ll still have plenty of lives left over,” the man continued, “depending on how many you really have. I know about your little healing ability…your so-called ‘regeneration.’ There’s only one person in this entire building that can do something like that, and that’s you…Nova Susan Song.”

This time, it was my turn to gasp, and I didn’t feel so calm anymore. How in the world did he know about my regeneration ability, and how did he know that was what I called it? As far as I knew, I never told anyone about this secret; my parents always urged me to tell absolutely no one about it, not even Hazel. Did he somehow overhear me talking about it with my parents at home? Was this creep stalking me and my family? Or did someone else tell him I lived in this town, and that I would be in school today? Maybe he didn’t come here alone; maybe he wasn’t the only stalker…

And that name he used—Nova Susan Song. Somehow, it rang a bell in my mind, like I recognized the name. More than that, I felt like the name somehow belonged to me…as if ‘Sydney’ wasn’t actually my real name.

“I can sense the fear in you,” the man chuckled softly, and it was true; I was scared. Scared of my secret being revealed…scared of being treated like an outcast because of my secret…scared of putting everyone near me, including my parents and Hazel, in terrible danger if they’d discovered my secret. Basically, I was scared of everything to do with my secret in general, and obviously—though I had absolutely no idea how—this guy seemed to know everything about it, and he had revealed it to the whole school. Of course, no one in the school seemed to know the secret pertained to me, but they were seemingly about to find out.

Although, the identity of Nova Susan Song, who, apparently, was the so-called ‘Time Lord’ this guy was sent out to apprehend, was still a mystery to me. According to the intruder, Nova and I seemed to share the same regeneration ability, however that was possible. I couldn’t help but think we could be related. Did my parents have another daughter they didn’t tell me about? When she was first born, did they send her off elsewhere to be protected from creeps like this guy? I guess it’s better if the guy captured one of us rather than both of us, I thought. Why did it have to be me?

Well, if it was true that I may have had an older, or even twin, sister, and he was after at least one of us—particularly Nova—I supposed I may as well show myself. I could at least try to convince him that even though Nova and I shared the same abilities, I wasn’t the one he was looking for. If I told him I wasn’t Nova, maybe he would leave and let everyone live.

At this point, I shifted my legs in a way I was going to rise up from my spot behind the desk and confront the intruder before he started breaking into other classrooms and killing innocent children.

Hazel caught on to what I was thinking of doing. She asked me quietly with a confused frown, “Syd, what are you doing?”

I was about to answer when I heard the man chuckle again on the other side of the wall, and I immediately paused. “Aw, how cute. You wish to save everyone here. Typical, just like your father…and I don’t mean your human father.”  

Whoa, can he read my mind? I wondered, or was he able to hear my stirring from inside the classroom? How did he know I wanted to save everyone by revealing myself to him, even though I may not have been the one he was looking for?

Also, what did he mean I was just like my father, but not my ‘human’ father? In other words, I had more than one father, but one of them—the one I lived with—was not, in fact, my real father? More than that, one of my fathers wasn’t human, and that was the one I was truly related to?

“That’s right,” the intruder said as if he sensed my confusion. “The ‘parents’ that you currently live with are not your real parents. Your real parents gave you to these primitive humans to hide you from us. If you didn’t already know that you should ask them sometime.”

I glanced around at my other peers, and many of them exchanged confused looks with one another. No one had any inkling of what this crazy psycho was talking about, and honestly nor did I. Apparently this guy knew a lot about my parents—if they were even my real parents—that I never knew about, and it made me start to question where I was truly from, which couple I truly belonged to.

“You can’t hide anymore, Nova,” the psycho said, sounding much closer to our classroom door. Even from the opposite side of the corner, I could see his shadow underneath the door. “Ever since your first regeneration, there have been beings out there that can smell your time energy across all of time and space…” At this point, he inhaled deeply, like he could smell anyone that was inside that gave off a strong scent. The intake of breath sounded unnatural, like something otherworldly. “And we can protect you from them. In fact, we can teach you how to fight them off. You’ve probably been told since then to keep your ‘powers’ in the dark, but we can teach you how to use them. We can teach you how to use your ‘powers’ for the greater good…to rid the universe of a great evil—your father.”

What? My voice screamed inside my head. Was he saying my father was evil? No way! I shook my head. My father was the most caring person I had ever known, beside my mom and Hazel. There was absolutely no way he would secretly be some sort of criminal behind our backs…

Then again, maybe the intruder wasn’t talking about the father I currently lived with, but rather my other father—my biological non-human father, whoever he was.

“There are many stories about your father,” the intruder continued. “He has many names and many more secrets. ‘The Oncoming Storm,’ ‘The Beast,’ and ‘The Valeyard’ are only a small handful of titles, which don’t even begin to explain all the dark deeds he has done. Legend says your father wiped out his entire species, the Time Lords, to stop a war that was ravaging all of existence. Legend also says his worst enemies trapped him in a cage that was specifically built to imprison him for the rest of Time, but he got out anyway, and no one knows how. And now there has been talk that he has escaped death once again at Lake Silencio, Utah and is now hiding in the shadows, just waiting to be reunited with his loved ones…with his long-lost daughter—you.”

He paused as if to allow the information to sink into my head. For some reason, almost all of what the man had said about my biological father sounded true to me. Apparently my father had destroyed his—our—entire home, and the man said that as if my father hadn’t even thought about the safety of his people; he just destroyed them anyway without allowing them a say in the matter. Then, I guessed as a result of what he did in that war, my father’s enemies trapped him in a prison that was believed to be impossible to escape from, but he had somehow broken out, using his wits and who knows what else. Then he escaped death—again, apparently—at some lake in Utah that I had never heard of before, and is now supposedly hunting me down, possibly to recruit me, or kill me. And along the way, he had taken on a few terrifying titles as trophies. If my biological father truly was evil, and he was truly coming after me, I wondered what would happen to me if he did find me.

Was this ‘intruder’ here not to kill me but to protect me from my own father? Did he know who, and even where, my father was, and had been sent here to warn me how dangerous he was and to protect me from him?

At this point, I had no idea who to trust anymore, including the people who raised me. I was even starting to question whether my life was really real or a complete lie. Was I really born on Earth? Were my parents really my parents? Was I really seven years old at the time? Was my real name even ‘Sydney Elise?’

“All this just proves how dangerous your father truly is,” the man said after a few moments. “Who knows what he will do to you if he seeks you out. That is why you must come with us. We can protect you from him. More than that, we can rid him of the universe…together.”

I was speechless. Together? Like, ‘together’ together; as in, I team up with him and his band of crazies, and we work as one to take down my bio-dad? How insane was this? I didn’t even know these people, and yet this guy decided that my bio-dad was evil, and I was supposed to believe all of this. My life had just become incredibly odd, and I had the feeling the oddness was only going to become much worse from here onwards. The pressure in my head from a growing migraine didn’t really help my comprehension of the situation any better.

Right when the intruder had finished speaking, just when I thought for sure he was going to break down the classroom door and blow me and my entire class into next week, a woman’s voice called from further down the hall, as if to finish his last sentence, “Which is never going to happen!”

There was a brief pause before the man shouted, “You!” as if he knew the woman. For some reason, in that moment, I got the feeling I knew the woman too. There was something about her voice that I found strangely familiar, but I couldn’t place where or when I had heard it. The only thing that was obvious about her voice was that it sounded British, like she was from The United Kingdom.

“You must be insane to think that you would ever take advantage of my daughter!” The woman exclaimed as she neared the intruder. I heard the charge of some sort of futuristic weapon, like a phaser, before she continued in a growl, “Step away from that door, or I’ll burn a hole right through your chest! And you better not have signaled to your other friends, or I’ll do something much worse!”

I had to pause at her first statement. She called me—Nova—her ‘daughter.’ Was she, possibly, my—our—biological mother? Was she in cahoots my biological father? Was she evil too? Or was she here to save us from this crazy intruder because she knew the intruder was here for a much worse reason, and she was here to prevent him from committing this act?

We heard the intruder scoff loudly, “Oh yeah? What could be worse than a burnt hole in the chest, ‘mummy dearest?’ The Vokanari are many; one less makes no difference. We will continue to grow and thrive, and soon there will be enough of us on every planet, every star system, in all of time and space, to take your hubby down before he ever reaches Trenzalore. And your daughter will be the face of our cause.”

“Over my dead body!” the woman immediately replied, and there was a clicking noise, like the cock of a gun before it is ready to fire.

“That can be arranged!” the psycho said with an evil grin—at least, that was how I pictured him. Immediately after, there was the sound of rushing footsteps away from the classroom door, and the abrupt sound of a gunshot was heard a second later. The man was heard screaming in pain from the gunshot wound, and I couldn’t help but wonder where exactly the woman had shot him—the shoulder, the leg…maybe right through the chest, like she promised.

“Damn you, River Song!” the man growled in anger. “She will be ours! One day!”

Once he finished speaking, strange electrical sounds were heard before everything but the lockdown alarm was quiet. This went on for another few minutes before police sirens could be heard outside the school, and everyone sighed in relief. Everything was going to be okay; we were saved.

Even though the police had finally shown up—although I had briefly wondered if that woman who saved us from the crazy man was a cop—the drill wasn’t over yet, not until the principal gave the “all clear” over the PA system and shut off the alarm; who knew whether the man, or even the woman, had actually left the premises for good. Maybe he was still out there, waiting for school to be over so he could catch me as I left school for the day. I just hoped the woman was close by to stop the man before he could get his hands on me. 

Chapter Text

Shortly after the lockdown drill was lifted, classes resumed as normal; however, all of the teachers were told to keep their doors locked and to never let their students leave for any reasons, especially without being escorted by a teacher. Much to all the students’ disappointment and to the teachers’ expectations, recess was cancelled for the day, despite the perfect weather, and lunch was to be spent in the classrooms, so literally everyone was not allowed to leave their classrooms at all. According to the principal, this was the only way to ensure that everyone would be safe from the crazy man, should he attempt a return to terrorize the school again.

We resumed the video we were watching before the lockdown, but it was, of course, impossible to focus on it. Everyone in the class couldn’t stop talking about the intruder, and I couldn’t stop thinking about what all he said in the hallway—about the ‘Time Lord’ he was after, Nova Susan Song, who I seemed to have loads in common with. I always thought I was the only one in the entire world who had two hearts and could make my body glow gold at will, but apparently, I wasn’t the only one. This other mystery girl, Nova, could regenerate, and possibly had two hearts as well. I couldn’t stop thinking about her and what other qualities we could’ve possibly shared; maybe we looked a lot alike too…or, at least, our original bodies looked alike. If that was true, maybe that was why the crazy man came to my school. Maybe he was hunting me, because for the longest time he thought I was Nova, because we looked so much alike in our first bodies…like we were sisters—twins.

I also couldn’t stop thinking about what the man said about my parents—how the parents I currently lived with were not my real parents, that they had adopted me after my real parents gave me up to them. For as long as I could remember, even in my previous body, people said I didn’t look—and presently still didn’t look—anything like my parents and thought they adopted me, but I always shrugged the idea off. So what if I looked nothing like my parents? I thought. That shouldn’t stop them from loving me, and I would always and forever love them. Still, after everything, I couldn’t help but think they were right, that the man was right… What if I was adopted?

The phone ringing from the teacher’s desk interrupted my thoughts in that moment. As the teacher went to answer it, Hazel leaned over to me, “Are you okay, Syd? You’ve been really quiet ever since the lockdown ended. You’re not scared the man will come back, are you?”

I shook my head. “No, of course not. I just…” I couldn’t decide whether to tell my best friend about what was going through my head, and how all of this pertained to my secret that I may or may not be human. “I just can’t stop thinking about everything he said. It was all so strange.”

“What, about the girl he was after, Nova?” Hazel clarified. “Far as I know, there’s no one in the school named Nova. Maybe the guy was just confused…or just totally crazy. Or maybe Nova was someone he used to know, and he believed she went to school here, so he came here looking for her.”

“Maybe,” I said a little doubtfully. Or maybe the guy was after me because he thought I was Nova, I thought.

“You?” Hazel exclaimed, and that was when I realized I’d said what I thought I said in my head out loud again; though I'm pretty sure my mouth wasn't moving when I said it, which was even stranger. “Why would you think the guy was after you? You and Nova have completely different names. Unless he thought you looked like the Nova he used to know.”

“Maybe,” I said again. “Or, like you said, maybe he was just—”

“Sydney?” I heard the teacher call my name from her desk.

“Uh, yeah, Mrs. Besel?” I said a little hesitantly, feeling my stomach twist in a tight knot at the thought that I may have gotten caught doing something wrong; we were supposed to be paying attention to the video, after all.

“Will you come see me, please? I need to talk to you,” she said calmly, though there was a hint of worry in her voice as well.

As I awkwardly rose up from my seat, I heard one of the boys say with a snigger, “Ooh, someone’s in trouble,” which made me all the more anxious to approach my teacher’s desk; for all I knew, the kid could very well be right.

“Um, did I do something wrong, Mrs. Besel?” I asked after I approached her desk.

“No, Sydney, you didn’t do anything wrong,” my teacher said, and I felt my anxiety subside a little. “I need you to pack all of your things and head to the Front Office. Your parents have called and are coming to pick you up.”

“Why?” I felt the need to ask. I also couldn’t help but wonder which parents were coming for me—the people who raised me, or my (evil?) biological parents. I sincerely hoped for the former.

“Probably because they want you home safe after the intruder incident earlier,” she clarified. “Hurry now, the security guard is coming to escort you, and you need to be ready when he arrives.”

After I nodded, I anxiously returned to my desk and started gathering up my school supplies. While I was packing, Hazel asked, “What’s going on? Why are you packing?”

“My parents called,” I replied, “they’re coming to pick me up.”

“Why?” she asked, seeming just as puzzled as I was when I asked my teacher the same question.

“I don’t know,” I shrugged, “probably because they’re worried about me after what happened earlier. They have been a little overprotective lately.” Especially since my regeneration, I thought but didn’t say out loud. “I’ll talk to you about it tomorrow, or whenever I get back,” I promised her before I swung my backpack over my shoulder and waited by the classroom door for the security guard to escort me to the office. The guard arrived a minute later, and we walked down the hallway together in silence.

On the way to the office, I couldn’t stop glancing over my shoulder, fearing that the man could be anywhere, that he possibly never left the school and was still lurking around somewhere. If the man really was after me, he probably wouldn’t be too far away. His last few words echoed in my mind: “She will be ours! One day!” I wondered what he meant by that, what sick plans he had for me…for Nova. Perhaps he would come back to try again…one day.

“Don’t worry,” I heard the security guard murmur to me, as if he read my mind. “He should be gone. The police made sure of it. If he’s still around, they’ll catch him.” I could only nod in response, feeling too paranoid to speak words out loud. “As for the woman…” he continued with a huff, “well, let’s hope she doesn’t come back either, if she knows what’s good for her.”

“Why?” I finally brought up the courage to ask. “She saved us, didn’t she? She scared the man off with her gun.” I remembered her threatening to burn a hole through the man’s chest if he didn’t step away from our classroom door, and that she would’ve done something much worse to him if he’d signaled to his ‘other friends,’ indicating that he may not have been working alone, even though he may have been physically alone at the school. I even remembered hearing the sound of a gunshot shortly after, hinting that the woman may have actually shot him, maybe even killed him. Either way, the woman seemed to have stopped the guy from causing further harm, and that was, in my opinion, a good thing. Because of her, we were all still living and breathing, for who knew what would’ve happened if she hadn’t shown up when she did; the timing was unbelievably fortunate.

“That may be so,” the guard continued huffing, “and she may have a pretty face, but she obviously has no problem shooting people if she doesn’t get her way. Seems highly suspicious if you ask me. She’d best stay away from this school if she doesn’t want the authorities poking in her business.” He then took a sideways glance toward me. “She looked a bit like you actually.”

“Really?” I subconsciously asked. It probably sounded stupid to him, but I was genuinely curious when I heard this.

The guard nodded. “Yeah, you share the same facial features as her.”

“Are you saying you think I’m related to this woman?” I felt the need to ask. Many people in the past have said I looked nothing like my parents, but now, I was believed to look much like the mysterious woman that saved us from the intruder. If that was true, could I actually be related to this woman? Could she possibly be my biological mother? She did seem to come here to stop the guy from taking her daughter away to who knows where. Was she referring to me?

My mind suddenly thought back to the strange curly-haired woman that appeared—at least to my own eyes—on the night I regenerated, the night my entire life changed forever, and I couldn’t help but think that woman and the woman that scared the intruder away were the same woman. It would’ve been a strange coincidence if this were the case. I mean, I did get the same vibe from both women—that they were at both places for protection. The woman that saved us from the intruder made it clear that she was here to protect her daughter, who she believed went to school here; although, I never saw her face. At the time of my regeneration, the curly-haired woman was also there to protect me while I was going through the process, but she also seemed worried for me, exactly like a mother would for her sick child. Both times, the women seemed to act like an anxious mother toward me, and I couldn’t help but think that was exactly what I was to them…that I was their—her—daughter.

This also made me all the more confused about the identity of this mysterious Nova Song. The intruder identified the woman as River Song, so obviously Nova and River were related, since they shared the same surname. I, on the other hand, had no relation to these people whatsoever; only that Nova and I shared the same regeneration ability, but this didn’t prove that we were related, certainly not by blood.    

The more I thought about it, the more painful my migraine became.

“No, I’m just saying you look a lot alike.” The guard then shook his head. “Never mind. Anyway, we’re here,” he said as we arrived outside the main office door. “Go in and do whatever you need to do before your parents get here. I’ll be keeping watch outside.” He walked to the other side of the hallway without another word, and I entered the office in my own silence.

As I sat in the office, waiting for my parents to arrive, I glanced around the room. The secretary was seen typing furiously away on her computer, probably sending word out to students’ parents about the intruder incident that went down just minutes ago. A little further down the hall, and I saw that there was a pair of policemen talking to the principal. I overheard a few words and phrases, but not much was understood to my seven-year-old mind, besides how the man will be caught and brought to justice, and how he would be made sure to never cause harm to the school again. After a few moments, they left the office, not even stopping to give me a second glance; honestly, I didn’t expect them to.

Shortly after the police left, the principal, Dr. Demoss—or ‘Dr. D,’ as the students preferred to call her—appeared from her back office. “Ah, Sydney!” she exclaimed upon seeing me. “It’s so good to see your face, and to see you unharmed in general. Do you mind if we have a little chat before your parents get here?”

“Sure,” I nodded, although in my head I felt like it wasn't optional. Maybe she wanted to talk to me because the police had asked about me, because they believed the man was truly after me…

Or maybe I was just overthinking things and was being paranoid for no reason. Who was to say the intruder was even after me? Literally anyone in this school could’ve been the mysterious Nova Song, even if she wasn’t actually going by that name.

“How are you, Sydney?” Dr. D asked in a calm voice as she returned to her desk.

“A bit shaken,” I answered honestly. I could feel my hearts still pounding in my chest out of anxiousness.

The principal nodded. “I understand. That was a pretty scary experience. I can’t imagine how all the students are feeling. You must feel the same way.” After I nodded again, she continued, “Anyway, as you know, your parents are on their way to pick you up, and I suspect many more parents will be requesting the same for their children very shortly. You’ll be spending the rest of the week at home. Although, personally, seeing as it’s only Monday, I find that a bit unwise, as you would miss an entire week of lessons.” She then smiled. “But I hear you’re a very smart young lady; top of your class, I might add. So I’m sure you’ll catch up just fine. We’ll have your school things ready for your parents to collect and bring home to you each day so you can stay caught up.”

“Thank you,” I said. I then asked a bit nervously, “Um, if you don’t mind my asking, who was that man that broke into the school? Did the police say anything?”

Dr. D shook her head. “No, only a theory that he was a possible wanted kidnapper. He broke into the school looking for a girl—most likely a student—named Nova Susan Song. Although, there’s no record of a ‘Nova Susan Song’ ever attending this school, not even currently.”

“Do you have any idea what the man wanted her for?” I asked curiously. I thought about telling her about what I heard the man say about Nova’s possibly evil father—the one that committed genocide to his own people in a mass war, and was rumored to escape an inescapable prison—but I decided not to, since I was still highly confused about that.

“I don’t know, Sydney,” she replied with a slight grimace in her voice, “but probably not for something good. That’s all I can really say, considering your age.”

“What about my age?” I asked, feeling slightly offended. I was very familiar with the feeling of annoyance when having to wait to become a certain age before discovering a certain type of knowledge.

The principal smiled. “Let’s just say there are things in this world that children of your age shouldn’t need to know just yet.” Typical, I thought. “I understand life can be hard when you have to wait to become a certain age before you can learn something, but that’s just the way it is, and unfortunately we can’t do anything about it except to wait. Anyway, don’t worry about Nova or the man; the police will take care of them. Hopefully they’ll arrest the man before he catches Nova and does who-knows-what to her. Bless her heart.”

Or hearts, I couldn’t help but think in my head. If Nova and I were really that much alike, then maybe that wouldn’t be much of a surprise.

The principal spoke up again, glancing behind me. “Ah, it looks like your parents are here.” She suddenly frowned. “It’s strange…you don’t look anything like your parents.”

“I know,” I nodded, “I get that a lot. In fact, most of our neighbors and friends think they adopted me.”

“Do you believe them?” Dr. D asked curiously.

“I don’t know,” I shook my head. “I never really thought about it.” This was a half-lie. This was true in the past, but up until now, I wasn’t so sure anymore. My parents couldn’t regenerate like I could, so I must have gotten this ability from someone else. It also explained why I didn’t look anything like them. If they weren’t my real parents, then who were? What if ‘Sydney’ wasn’t my birth name and was just a cover-up in place of my true name? What if ‘Nova’ was, in fact, my true name? To be honest, I didn’t think the name ‘Sydney’ really fit me, but ‘Nova’ did. I knew I would ask them when we got home.

“Hmmm…” the principal regarded my statement. “Maybe it’s time you asked about your family history. Perhaps your parents may have secrets of their own. Anyway, you should go to them. I would hate for that man or mysterious curly-haired woman to come back while you’re still here.”

I tried asking about the curly-haired woman, thinking she was the same woman that appeared to me during my regeneration, but the principal was insistent and ushered me to my parents, who immediately took me into their arms. While my dad was finalizing the permissions for me to stay home for the rest of the week, my mom fretted over me, continuously asking me if I was hurt. I kept telling her I was fine and just shaken, but that didn’t seem to ease her worries. Once my parents were given the ‘okay’ for me to be sent home, they took me to their car in a rush, as if in fear that the intruder was still close by, waiting for another attempted kidnapping.

As I was being ushered quickly into the car, I saw someone standing on the other side of the corner at the side of the school. At first, I thought it was the man again, but then I saw the familiar large curls from the woman I had seen during my regeneration, and I felt a slight pang of relief flood through my hearts. The woman wasn’t doing anything in particular, except just standing there, watching my parents load me into their car to be taken to a much safer place that was our house. I couldn’t help but watch her as my father pulled out of the school parking lot and onto the main road, the entire time my eyes locked with the woman’s—those sharp green eyes that were similar to mine. The woman and I remained like that until we were far enough away from the school, and I could no longer see her anymore.

That look in the woman’s eyes was very strange, like she was wordlessly saying through her eyes, “You’re welcome;” as in, “You’re welcome for saving your life, as well as everyone else’s.” I couldn’t help but think she was the mysterious woman that saved the school from the intruder; the principal did say that the woman was curly-haired. Even though I didn’t see her face then, I could tell now that she looked exactly like the woman from that night I regenerated, and I somehow knew they had to be the same person.

However, I remained quiet during the rest of the trip home, too afraid to share anything about the day’s events with my parents, who, unlike me, were still fretting about the situation—how the school could’ve found out about my secret, how I could’ve been killed, etcetera. They argued that having me go to school instead of being homeschooled was a bad idea, and how I would’ve been much safer from things like this happening if I stayed at home. A part of me agreed with this, but at the same time I believed they were just overreacting, as every parent would over their child that had gone through a traumatic experience without their protection. If I had been homeschooled, there would’ve been a lesser chance of me experiencing something like this, but I would never have met my best friend, Hazel. Also, who knew what would’ve happened to the students, including Hazel and staff, if no one was there to stop the intruder from doing whatever he was planning of doing that morning. Would things have been different if I never applied to attend school there? Would the attack have still happened, or would the school have been much safer if I hadn’t attended, even on that day? There were so many ‘what ifs’ running through all of our heads, but neither of us seemed eager to share them with one another, at least until we got home, but even then I wasn’t willing to share mine. The more I thought about them, the more fearful I felt for everyone, including my parents, my teachers, Hazel, and even myself.

Later that night, I was hardly able to touch my food. The whole rest of the day, I was unable to think about anything else that didn’t relate to the intruder incident at the school. The more I thought about it, the more confused I felt about the reason for everything happening the way that they did, and also the more I started questioning my own origins and identity. It was uncanny how similar I was to the mysterious Nova Song, and how similar the woman I saw outside the school looked to the woman I saw on the night of my regeneration. I couldn’t help but think that I was somehow connected to these people, that these were people I may have known in a past life, which should be impossible, since I’ve only lived one life prior to my regeneration. I was starting to question where I truly came from, and for some reason I didn’t think I had physically come from the couple I was currently sitting at the dinner table with—the people who couldn’t regenerate at all, and also the people I physically looked nothing like.

“What’s wrong, sweetie?” my mom—or who I believed to be my mom—asked to break the long silence between the three of us. “You haven’t touched your food. Most nights you eat like a horse.”

“She’s probably still traumatized by what happened at school today,” her spouse replied indignantly with a mouthful of steak. “Just leave her alone.”

A part of me was still traumatized, but at this point I was more concerned about my true identity and which couple I truly belonged to.

My guardian shook her head. “No, there’s obviously something bothering her.” She then turned to me with a kind expression on her face, the face I loved my whole life but was now starting to question whether that love was genuine. “Sweetie, it’s okay, you can tell us. What’s on your mind?”

I couldn’t stop the words from tumbling out of my mouth. “Am I really your daughter?”

“What? Of course you are! Why would you say something like that?” my guardian said as if it would be insane to think I wasn’t, which, for all I knew, wasn’t insane and was, in fact, actually true.

I sighed. “It’s just…I get the feeling I’m not.”

“Why?” my other guardian said in a suspicious tone. “Did the man say that you weren’t?”

“Kind of,” I replied timidly. “I mean, I’m not sure if the guy was really after me; he said he was after some girl named Nova Song. Do you guys know anyone with that name?”

I glanced between my guardians and noticed the anxious looks on their faces, like they were quite familiar with the name but didn’t want to admit that they were. My whole life, I had the sense that they knew things about my true origins, and they always seemed to feel uncomfortable and immediately changed the subject whenever I asked. At this point in my life, I was tired of the secrets being kept from me.  

“Please!” I begged. “I need to know! Is she, like, my sister, or something?”

“W-Why do you say that?” the woman who raised me stuttered softly, almost at a volume I couldn’t hear.

“Because the guy said she could regenerate…just like me,” I explained, my voice becoming more and more desperate, even to my own ears. “He said she was a ‘Time Lord,’ whatever that is. He also said that the parents she currently lived with were not her real parents, that she was actually adopted, and I’m honestly getting the sense that I am the same way…that you guys are not my real parents. I mean, think about it. All my life, people have said I don’t look anything like you guys, and honestly I don’t. I never looked anything like you guys before I regenerated, and I still don’t look anything like you guys now. Not only that, but I am also the only one in the entire family that can regenerate. This could only mean one thing… I am not your real daughter. You’re not my real family. You had to have adopted me.”

After I finished speaking, I felt my hearts pounding rapidly in my chest out of anxiousness, and from the shocked looks on my guardians’ faces, I figured their single hearts must have been pounding just as fast. “I’m right…aren’t I?” I found myself asking after not receiving an immediate response from either of them.

My mother-guardian sighed. “You were always too clever for your age, Sydney.” She then glanced at my father-guardian, who nodded his approval, but approval of what, I had no idea. She then left the dinner table and walked heavily into their bedroom.

When my mother-guardian didn’t immediately come back out, I asked my father-guardian, “What’s she doing?”

“She’s going to get the adoption papers,” he replied with a heavy sigh, but also one that sounded like he was having trouble fighting back tears.

“Adoption papers?” I exclaimed incredulously. “So it’s true? I am adopted?”

He shushed me. “Just wait until she gets back. She’ll explain everything to you.”

My mother-guardian came back two minutes later with a small folder in her hand. “It’s time we showed you the truth,” she said as she sat back down at her place at the table and set the folder next to my untouched dinner plate. “These are your adoption papers. Go on and look through them.”

I did as she requested and opened the folder that was filled with several sheets of paper. One of the papers included my birth certificate. The date of birth read ‘February 11, 1997,’ but when I glanced at the date of my adoption, it read ‘February 15, 1997,’ which was four days after my birth; although I wasn’t sure if this was accurate. When I asked about my birth date, my guardians said it was an estimated birth date and not my official birth date, because they didn’t truly know when exactly I was born. I skimmed through the other information listed in the papers, and everything seemed to check out…all except one thing: any and all information about my biological parents.

“In the section about my biological parents,” I said as I pointed through the section on the paper, “pretty much all of the things there are listed as ‘Unknown’ or ‘Not available.’ Why is that?”

“They…didn’t want to be identified,” my mother-guardian replied. “It’s for your own safety.”

“My safety?” I asked, puzzled. “What do you mean?” I then paused. How could they know that was what my bio-parents wanted to be listed as? That wouldn’t have made any sense for them to know such things… Unless… “Wait! If you know they didn’t want to be identified, you must’ve met them in person. How could they have physically given me to you guys if you hadn’t?”

My mother-guardian nodded with a heavy sigh. “You’re right, we did meet your biological parents in person…or, at least, we got to properly meet one of them.”

“Which one?” I asked curiously. “My father?”

My mother-guardian shook her head. “No. Your father decided to watch from afar. It was your mother that handed you over to us.”

“She was a beautiful woman,” my father-guardian explained. “Smart, had a British accent, and massively curly hair. I swear, I’ve never seen so much hair on a woman’s head before.”

Curly hair, I thought, just like the two women from the school earlier today and from the night of my regeneration. And now this big revelation that my biological mother had massively curly hair as well. All of this seemed like more proof that the two curly-haired women from my past were my biological mother both times.

But I still wanted to know about my other side…my father’s side. “And…what about my father?” I asked.

“Oh, he was quite the looker too,” my mother-guardian said “at least what we saw of him. He didn’t stick around long, probably because he couldn’t bear to see his daughter go.”

That last statement didn’t make much sense to me. If my biological parents didn’t want to see me go, then why did they give me up?

“Are you sure he didn’t stick around because he was relieved to get rid of me?” I asked, thinking this would’ve made more sense. When most biological parents gave their children up for adoption, as horrible as it sounded, they wanted to wipe their children out of their family for good, and only once in a blue moon would they have given their children up to be protected from someone dangerous. This thought made me wonder why I was truly given up for adoption not long after my birth.

“No, of course not!” my mother-guardian shook her head. “He loved you dearly. In fact, he never wanted to give you up, nor your mother…but they had to.”

“Why?” I asked, puzzled.

“Again, it was for your own safety,” my father-guardian answered in an apologetic tone, “to protect you.”

“From what?” I asked. In that moment, I felt like that so-called ‘blue moon’ had risen over my head.

My mother-guardian glanced at my father-guardian and released a heavy sigh from her lungs. “You know those bad guys you see in movies and read in your favorite comics, the ones that get defeated by the superhero or crime-fighter in the story?” After I nodded, she continued, “Well, your biological parents were kind of like those crime-fighters in your favorite stories. They spent their entire lives fighting the bad guys…or, in this case, the aliens that invade our planet, especially in the big cities, like London and New York City. After your parents had you, the bad guys somehow found out about your birth and started fighting with double force; in other words, they started using enough force to try to kill your parents, including you. Your parents couldn’t bear to lose you to their enemies, so they were forced to give you up for adoption. They contacted us, knowing we were looking to adopt a baby girl, so they trusted you to us. It was the only way to protect you.” She sighed as though fighting back tears. “Also, you never knew this, but I can’t have kids. We tried everything we could. That was why we were looking to adopt a child.”

“So…my parents gave me up to protect me from their enemies, who were trying to kill me?” I asked for clarification, although I couldn’t figure out how to believe any of this. I mean, who in their right mind would want to kill me? As far as I knew, I wasn’t anyone special, like a well-known celebrity, or the President of the United States, or whatever. I may have had supernatural abilities that seemed literally out of this world, but despite all of that, I felt like I was just like everybody else, that I was just as human as everybody else. It seemed impossible to think of myself as anything that wasn’t human.

“Yes,” my father-guardian nodded, “but not every enemy wanted you dead. Some wanted to kill you, but others wanted you for other reasons. Others wanted to kidnap you and use you for your powers against your own parents.”

“So they wanted to turn me into some sort of assassin to kill my own parents?” I asked incredulously. Why would I want to kill anyone, let alone my own parents? I never viewed myself as a fighter, and I had never planned to become one in the future either.

“Yes,” my father-guardian nodded again, “and use your powers to do it.”

“That’s crazy!” I exclaimed. “I don’t even know my bio-parents, let alone their names or even what they look like.”

My father-guardian glanced to his wife as if looking for permission to say the next thing on his mind. “Should we tell her about them, at least their names?” he asked her.

“Go ahead,” she nodded her approval.

My father-guardian turned to me and said, “We can tell you this much… Your mother’s name was River.”

River, I thought. That’s the same name as the woman that saved the school from the crazy man. Thinking of her, I asked curiously but also timidly, as I had no idea how my guardians would react, “Was her last name ‘Song,’ by any chance?”

My father-guardian paused as if in shock. “Um…yes, I believe it was now that I remember it! How did you know?”

Feeling a bit scared to tell them about my theory of the connection between the woman that saved the school and the woman that appeared on the night of my regeneration, I said instead, “I just wondered. There was a woman that saved us from the man at the school. He knew her and identified her as River Song. Also, the girl the man was after, Nova—her last name was ‘Song’ as well. I wondered if Nova and River were related, that Nova was River’s daughter. But you just now said my bio-mother’s name was also River Song. Could they be the same woman, since they share the same name?”

At this point, my guardians glanced at each other strangely, like I was some kind of detective, and they were criminals that had been caught and were now obligated to confess all of their actions and secrets to me. I honestly found this a little unsettling, as it may have been true that they had many more secrets that they had yet to share with me that were not included in the folder.

Instead of spilling, my mother-guardian abruptly shook her head and said, “We don’t know.”

I, however, refused to continue my life of not knowing the truth of where I truly came from. “Because if so,” I continued, “maybe Nova is my sister…or was. What about my father? Who was he?”

My mother-guardian shook her head. “We don’t know who Nova might be.” Liar, I couldn’t help thinking in my head. “As for your father, he only said he was a ‘Doctor,’ nothing more.” She then corrected herself. "Or rather, your mother said so, as your father had slipped away before he had the opportunity to introduce himself."

A doctor? I thought. Anyone could be a doctor. Although, I couldn’t help but notice that my mother-guardian said the title with a capital ‘D,’ like it was more than just a title, like it was a name as well. “He didn’t—I mean, my mother didn’t—give a name, or anything, with it?” I asked.

“Nope,” she shook her head, “she said that was it—just ‘The Doctor.’”

“He was strange,” my father-guardian said with a frown, like he was remembering what the man looked like. “He didn’t look like a doctor. He looked more like a history professor to me, with his old-fashioned tweed jacket, bow tie, and floppy hair. Strangely enough, he looked twenty years younger than your mother—River.”

My mother-guardian nodded in agreement. “Yeah, she reminded me of that woman from that old movie; what was her name—Mrs. Robinson?”

My father-guardian laughed, then said, “One thing I found the strangest about your father was his eyes—those deep green eyes, like emeralds in a storm. They looked so much older, like they’d seen a thousand years’ worth of life, despite his youthful face. Your eyes, Sydney, are just like his.”

I was in disbelief at this. “Really?” I said in amazement. “That’s funny, because people have said the exact same thing about my eyes, how they look so much older than the rest of me. I must get that from my father.”

“You get your pretty looks from your mother,” my mother-guardian said with a smile.

“From you?” I felt the need to ask. Or was she talking about…?

She shook her head. “No. From your real mother, River.”

“Don’t call her that,” I demanded, suddenly feeling a surge of anger flood both hearts in unison without really knowing why.

“What?” my mother-guardian asked, puzzled.

“Don’t call my biological parents my ‘real’ parents,” I clarified. “They’re not. They may be my parents by blood, but they’re not my real parents. You guys are my real parents. You’ve loved and raised me as your own, and I’ve always felt that love. And from the stories you told me, it sounds like my blood-parents didn’t get to love me properly like they’d wanted to because of their dangerous lives, so I never felt real love from them…or at least not enough love. As far as I’m concerned, they never truly loved me, because they were spending too much time worrying about getting killed by their enemies. I never had real proof that they loved me, and not just because I was too young to understand such things; I mean, I was just a newborn at the time. You guys have always been my true parents and have shown me true love, and I will never stop loving you, no matter where I truly come from.”

I truly meant what I said, every word. I couldn’t help but think that was the real reason why my biological parents, this ‘Doctor’ and River Song, gave me up—that they didn’t have time to even love me because they were too busy worrying about getting wiped out by their enemies, whoever they were. Who knew where I would be if they had not decided to give me up? Would I even be happy with them? Honestly, I didn’t think I would be happy having to spend my whole life on the run from people who wanted me dead.

Then again, if it was true my biological parents didn’t truly want to give me up in the first place, wherever they were right now—here’s assuming they were even still alive—did they even miss me? Were they even thinking about me at all? If they had even an ounce of love toward me, would they think to call and check up on me, if they could? Would they eventually come back for me so I could meet them properly?

To be honest, I didn’t know what I wanted them to do—to come back for me, or stay away. I didn’t like the idea of being constantly hunted by people who wanted to kill me, but a part of me found the idea exhilarating, like it would be a glorious adventure. On one hand, if I was truly to be protected from dangerous people like the crazy man in the school, it would be better for my biological parents to stay away from me, especially if they tended to attract those dangers. On the other hand, if I were to actually meet my bio-parents, it could be the start of a grand adventure, which was something I longed for. I often dreamed about travelling around the world and discovering new and impossible things, and if this was something my bio-parents did on a daily basis, I wanted to be a part of it—at least, I wanted it for myself.

Near tears, my mother-guardian—no, my mother—gathered me in her arms. “Aw, Sydney. You will always be our baby girl.”

“And we will never stop loving you,” my father added as he wrapped his own arms around us both.

After a few minutes, I suddenly realized something. “So, this was why you wanted me to keep my powers hidden?” I asked. “So none of my bio-parents’ enemies would come after them? So they wouldn’t come after me?”

My mother nodded. “Yes. We figured that was why that intruder came to your school. He must’ve somehow sensed your energy from your regeneration when you were four and had come after it like a moth to a flame.”

“Or he must’ve sensed the energy much more recently,” my father added, “because there is no way the sense would've lasted three years, and he’d chased after it nonstop for that long.” He glanced suspiciously at me. “Did you use your powers at any time after your regeneration, Sydney?”

I suddenly remembered a few days ago, when I was in my room doing my homework, and I had suddenly given myself a paper cut and drawn blood. I remembered how freaked out I was when I’d noticed that my blood color was a bright orange color instead of the typical dark red color of human blood. In any case, I felt too lazy to get up and properly wash the wound in the sink, so instead, I decided it wouldn’t hurt to sacrifice a bit of regeneration energy to heal the cut, despite knowing I wasn’t supposed to use my abilities (I always thought it was unfair to have these supernatural abilities and never be allowed to use them). I concentrated on the wound and made the cut glow gold for a few seconds. Once the glow faded, the cut was completely gone; it didn’t even leave behind a scar. Now, from the story my (foster) parents just told me, I felt a surge of guilt rush through me, realizing that sacrificing my energy like that was a mistake, as it may have somehow attracted the crazy man to our town, and then our school. This realization made me think that the crazy man was possibly one of my biological parents’ enemies sent out to kidnap me or kill me.

She will be ours! One day!

Oops.

Not wanting my parents to see my guilt, I lied, saying, “I don’t think so. I mean, I would know if I did, right?”

“I suppose,” my father said in a somewhat doubtful tone, which increased my guilt a bit more. “Perhaps your regeneration isn’t something you can control, and it only appears if you’re sick, gravely injured, or dying. But you’ve never been sick over the past few years, and you’ve been very careful not to injure yourself, so perhaps we’re just overthinking things.”

This wasn’t true. I had full control of my regeneration energy, hence why I used it to heal the paper cut that day. I felt bad for lying to my parents, the people who raised me and said they would never stop loving me, even if I were not entirely human. I now understood the dangers of using my abilities, but I didn’t understand how these dangers could be attracted to my energy every time I used it. It was like my parents were saying that these ‘enemies’ weren’t human, that they were from a world outside our atmosphere, and some of them had a strong sense of smell, like a predator sniffing out its prey. Just this thought sent a shiver up my spine, knowing I was the ‘prey’ in this scenario.

“You probably are,” I said with a sigh, still feeling my guilt clinging tightly to me.

“Perhaps the man was simply crazy and just felt the need to terrorize the school, but he was never intending to harm or kidnap anyone, especially you,” my father continued, this time in a no-big-deal tone, like he truly was just overthinking things, and there was really nothing to worry about; but I knew better, and I learned a valuable lesson from this: I should never use my abilities unless I absolutely have to.

“Yeah, probably,” I agreed with a sigh. Maybe that was all that it really came down to: that they were just being overprotective without meaning to be. None of this had anything to do with my ‘non-humanness;’ they were just afraid for the safety of their adopted daughter. That crazy man was simply that—just crazy. He broke into the school with the delusion that some girl he used to know (or possibly never existed at all) attended the school, and he just wanted to see her. He was never intending to harm anyone, certainly not me. Although, none of this explained how this other girl the man was after, Nova—if she even existed—had the same regeneration ability as me; but then again, maybe I was just overthinking things as well, or I had just imagined the whole thing.

Either way, I guessed my parents couldn’t change their minds to have me go back to school for the rest of the week, no matter how anxious they were to having me safe in their arms. In any case, despite the terrifying experience that I had that day, there were two good things that came out of it. The first was that despite being adopted, I lived with people that actually cared for me and were happy to call me their daughter, even when I wasn’t their daughter by blood. Even if my blood-parents didn’t truly love me, I was perfectly happy with what I got here with my foster parents, who I would always call my ‘real’ parents. 

The second was that I would have a six-day weekend away from school.

Chapter Text

That same night, I had a dream.

The first thing I remembered about it was complete darkness before the feeling of strong but gentle arms wrapped themselves around me and held me against a soft surface that pulsed with a light beat. Thump-thump-thump-thump, thump-thump-thump-thump, went the beat, like an unnatural heartbeat…

Like the beat of two hearts, which was a beat I was quite familiar with, but one I had never thought would come from anywhere (or anyone) else besides my own chest.

I immediately opened my eyes, and upon opening them, I noticed that everything seemed a bit blurry, like the vision one got when they first woke after a long slumber. Through the blurry haze, I noticed that I was being held against a person’s chest that was covered in a solid white fabric, with large strips of thick brown fuzzier fabric on the left and right that was heavily striped and reminded me of the stripes of a zebra, only brown instead of black. Looking further up, I saw what looked like a large burgundy-red butterfly fixed to the collar of the white fabric. I tried to reach up to touch the butterfly, but I realized that my arms were stuck in place under the thick white blanket I was swathed in.

I realized immediately after that this version of me wasn’t my seven-year-old self; it was, in fact, my infant self. Of course, I couldn’t do anything but watch the scene play out in front of my infant eyes, but fortunately I didn’t feel like I was in any physical danger; this was just a dream, after all…

Or was it? I wondered.

Suddenly, the butterfly started moving towards me, and along with it a face—the youthful face of a man. The man seemed to have a very prominent chin, a sharp nose, floppy brown hair, pale skin, and dark, deep-set green eyes—green eyes that looked identical to my own. I instantly remembered my father mentioning the fact that I shared my biological father’s eyes, and looking at the eyes of this mysterious man in front of me, I knew this had to be him—my biological father himself…the Doctor.  

The man leaned down further and gently pressed his lips to my forehead, and I—well, my infant self, anyway—subconsciously found myself leaning into his touch, despite him being nothing but a complete stranger to me. I had never seen this man’s face before, but at the same time I felt like this was a face I knew well…or at least should’ve known, if not for the fact that this was possibly the man who gave me up all those years ago.  

He didn’t kiss me right then, so much as just caressed my forehead with his lips, but there was something about his lips that seemed off. They felt cold and wet, like he’d been crying, and when I looked up momentarily to see his ancient-but-young-looking eyes misty with tears, my suspicions were confirmed.

“Oh, Nova,” he whispered in a British accent that sounded so ancient and forever, “I wish it never had to be this way, but it is the only way to keep you safe. To keep you safe from them…from me.” The instant he said ‘me,’ a stream of tears ran down his cheeks and dripped off of his pointy chin and splashed down on my blanket. I felt him cradling me closer to his chest like a vise, not enough where I felt like I was being asphyxiated but enough for me to feel the emotions flooding through him, tearing him apart piece-by-piece. These were the words of a man who had experienced great loss throughout his entire life, and now he was seemingly about to experience it again…with me.

If I were older, I would’ve felt the need to wrap my arms around him and comfort him—while at the same time trying to ignore the awkwardness of the situation, as I had no idea who this man was besides being a complete stranger from my past—but I was just an infant in this body, in this dream, and had no comprehension of the situation whatsoever, so I had no choice but to go along with it. He held me like that for what felt like several minutes; although, in real life, it may not have been much time at all.

He eventually straightened up and continued walking to wherever he was taking me to—the entire time, he was walking with me in his arms to some destination; although I had no idea where, as I could only see a blurry hallway in which I could hear a gentle hum, like that of a machine—despite the tears still trickling down his cheeks.

My bio-father eventually arrived in a place where the hallway seemed to open up into a much larger space where the mechanical humming sound seemed to emanate from, as well as a harsh scraping sound like a house-key scraping along the strings of an old piano, and the lights seemed incredibly bright. He walked down a set of stairs and stopped at a strange-looking column in the center of the room that reached up to the ceiling. I heard the clicking and clacking of what sounded like the pushing and pulling of levers and switches, like something from the console of a steam engine. I heard my bio-father say something, and then the vague sound of a female answered something back, but the voices sounded muffled to my infant ears, like listening through a pair of earmuffs.

A few moments later, my bio-father bent down to me again, and this time I noticed that the red butterfly fixed to his neck was actually a bow tie. I remembered my father-guardian mentioning that my bio-father wore a bow tie (as well as a tweed jacket, which was the fuzzy striped fabric he was wearing over his solid white button-down shirt) on the night I was adopted; and based on the fact that this was the exact clothing my bio-father was wearing at this very moment, and also the fact that he was crying as though he didn’t want to lose me, to give me up to another family, I somehow knew this was that night.

“I love you, Nova Susan Song,” he whispered, this time brushing his tearstained cheek against my forehead, “now and forever, ‘til the end of Time.” I saw another tear escape his eyelashes, and this time I felt it fall on my tiny cheek, but I was unable to brush it away.

He then handed me off to another person, who immediately wrapped their arms around me. I looked up and saw, yet again, the familiar large curls of the woman I had seen twice before (at least in real life)—River Song, my biological mother. She bent down to me in the same way as my biological father and kissed my forehead on the exact same place.

“I, too, shall love you ‘til the end of Time, my sweet,” she whispered. “We shall be together again… Someday.” She surprisingly, unlike my father, had more control over her tears; although, I could still see them fogging up her slightly brighter green eyes. She then started carrying me away from my father, who watched forlornly next to the strange column with tearful eyes.

Unfortunately, that was all I could remember of the dream after I had woken up the next morning, back in my seven-year-old, two-hearted body (in the dream, I felt like I only had one heart). At this point in my life, I had started to realize that I didn’t need as much sleep as most humans. Normally, humans only needed six to nine hours every night, but for me, I only needed the equivalent of a cat nap (about three to four hours) a few nights a week. Although, this night, after the crazy day with the school intruder, I managed to sleep through the entire night for seven hours straight, luckily (surprisingly) without nightmares of the experience. 

After I woke up, I couldn’t help smiling. That dream felt so calm, and nothing whatsoever like the school intruder incident, but it also felt so real, like it wasn’t really a dream but actually a memory. Before the dream, I could hardly remember anything about my life, much less my adoption, and that must’ve been the event I had dreamt about—or rather the memory that had flashed before my closed eyelids. When I first saw the curly-haired woman on the night I regenerated, I somehow knew she was familiar to me, and now I understood why: she was there on the night of my adoption. Although, I couldn’t remember anything after my biological mother had carried me away from my biological father at the end of the dream, but my guess was that she met with my soon-to-be guardians, explained about the ‘regeneration and two hearts’ thing and the dangers of using my abilities, handed me off to them, and then immediately left without another word.

Although, seeing my biological father there was a bit strange. At school, the intruder claimed that he was evil, but in the dream—memory—there was nothing ‘evil’ about him; in fact, he seemed the total opposite. In the dream, he looked exactly like the typical father one would expect, caring and loving toward his loved ones. I remembered how sad he looked when he had talked about what he was doing was going to keep me safe, like he truly didn’t want to give me up. Although, he’d also said that he was doing this to protect me from ‘them,’ as well as himself, whatever he meant by that. Who was ‘they,’ and why did he want to protect me from himself as well? What was it about himself that he felt was so wrong, that he felt it was too dangerous for me to be around him? I remembered the intruder saying that my biological father had destroyed his own home world, as well as escaping an inescapable prison. He said that as if my father was some genocidal maniac that should be locked up in isolation from the rest of the universe, and maybe that was what the inescapable prison was specifically designed for; but apparently my father had broken out anyway, so obviously the prison wasn’t as ‘inescapable’ as everyone thought. Just this thought made me suddenly wonder whether the kind man I saw in my dream/memory that was cradling my infant body and telling me that he would love me “‘til the end of Time” was just a façade to mask his true dark persona. If this was truly the case, I wondered why he called himself ‘Doctor.’

I also remembered my bio-father calling me ‘Nova,’ as if that was truly my name instead of ‘Sydney.’ Because I had heard the name so many times earlier that day, it must’ve gotten stuck in my head and imbedded itself into my subconscious. Either that, or, if it was true that this was indeed an old memory, maybe there was more to the name than met the eye. If it was true that Nova was really my sister, and we shared the same secret to not being human, maybe there was a connection between us, after all; in which case, we could literally connect with each other, like with telepathy or something. This dream could’ve just been me subconsciously connecting with Nova’s mind, and I’d seen her memory from when she was a baby and still living with her—our—biological parents before she was adopted to another family (albeit totally separate from mine). I wondered if she was even aware that I had somehow invaded her mind at the time.

Then again, maybe I was just being ridiculous. Two minds using telepathy to connect with each other? Grow up, Sydney, I thought; that doesn’t exist, except in Sci-Fi movies.

In any case, if Nova was still alive—and a real person—I wished there was a way to physically get in contact with her; it’d be nice to know her side of the story. I wondered if she knew a lot about our ancestry, including where we originally came from. Then again, if she was also given up to be protected from whatever danger our bio-dad was referring to—which, strangely, also included himself—the chances of us physically meeting was slim to none.  

Whatever, I thought to myself with the shake of my head, I’m not going to give up that easily. If my guardians won’t tell me anything about my true origins, I’ll just find them out for myself… Somehow.

Unfortunately, the Internet got me nowhere. Over the next few days—what else is there to do when you’re stuck in house-arrest for an entire week? I thought—I tried looking up things to do with ‘regenerating humans,’ ‘two-hearted humans,’ ‘Time Lords,’ ‘River Song,’ ‘Nova Song,’ ‘The Doctor (not the physician),’ and even a few combinations of some of them, and of course…zip, zilch, bupkis, nada, goose egg—literally any other word or phrase meaning ‘absolutely nothing.’ I mean, I got several results to do with everything, but they were nothing that related to anything I was looking for. This was to be expected, seeing as I didn’t truly know what specifically I was looking for to begin with. Who ever heard of a human changing bodies at will, or even a human with two hearts? I thought. Since these things weren’t common, maybe that was why they didn’t appear on the Internet. Typical. And, of course, there are millions of River Songs, Nova Songs, and Doctors in the world, and literally any one of those people could be my long-lost bio-parents and sister, so there was really no way of knowing which were the right ones.

Ugh, I groaned, who knew Internet-searching could be so freaking hard.

Eventually, I decided to give up on the Internet-searching—well, maybe not completely give up, but rather take a break for a while. I figured that while I gradually grew older, my guardians would reveal something new about my true origins and identity; they did say shortly after my regeneration that I wasn’t yet old enough to know of such things. Maybe once I ‘came of age,’ so to speak, they would reveal everything to me. The problem was, I didn’t know when exactly that time would come.

“There are things in this world that children of your age shouldn’t need to know just yet,” Dr. D’s voice echoed in my mind. “I understand life can be hard when you have to wait to become a certain age before you can learn something, but that’s just the way it is, and unfortunately we can’t do anything about it except to wait.”

I guess I’ll just have to wait a little bit longer, I thought dismally to myself, however long that’s going to take…if ever that time would come.

Toward the end of my house-arrest—and after much persuasion to my highly protective guardians—I was finally allowed to leave the house and visit my best friend, who I promised I would explain everything about the intruder incident to. Of course, I had to be escorted there, as they didn’t feel comfortable with me being on my own outside the house as of yet. It was kind of annoying, but I didn’t want to upset them, especially after I had lied to them about using my abilities when I wasn’t supposed to, which I still felt highly guilty about; the experience could’ve been much worse, had that crazy psycho not been alone, nor had the curly-haired woman not appeared to save us when she did. I still couldn’t believe how fortunate we all were to living another day.  

At least my parents didn’t stick around at my friend’s house while I was there, although they did insist on me calling them so they could escort me home. Ugh, really? I thought with a roll of my eyes before they left me with Hazel. If I was born normal, I wouldn’t have to deal with this overprotectiveness.

Stupid regeneration, I thought angrily, why did you have to ruin my life like this, huh?

In any case, I was glad to be out of the house again. It felt like the equivalent of being let out of prison—not that I did anything wrong to deserve to be put in prison; I doubted being born a non-human was considered a crime on this planet, but then again, who really knew?  

Hazel and I spent hours on end, talking about the school intruder incident that happened last Monday. Hazel talked about how the majority of the kids in our grade had a theory that the crazy man was after me, since I had been gone all week. It made sense, considering that my parents had insisted on me never leaving the house until they were satisfied that the crazy man was gone for good. I told her this was true, but I wasn’t entirely sure whether the man was after me or not, but it was a theory of mine, considering how my parents acted when they first picked me up.

The conversation then switched to the topic of my adoption, which I had decided to reveal to Hazel. It wasn’t as big of a secret as my regenerative abilities and two hearts, but it was pretty darn close.

The conversation was something like this:

“So it’s true?” Hazel exclaimed after I had shared the secret to her. “You really are adopted?”

I nodded. “Yeah. My parents—or rather my guardians—told me this later that same day over dinner. I always knew I looked nothing like them my whole life, and now it all makes sense. They’re not my real parents.”

“But you said you always sensed that they adopted you,” Hazel said with a puzzled frown.

“Yeah, I just never thought it’d actually be true,” I admitted. “I mean, yeah, I look completely different from them, but at the same time I didn’t want to believe that I was from…somewhere else. You know what I mean?”

I wasn’t sure if Hazel would understand what I meant by being from ‘somewhere else,’ as in, somewhere else that wasn’t anywhere on Earth. For all I knew, I could’ve well been born on another planet.

Surprisingly, she did seem to understand. “Yeah, totally,” she said. “I mean, if I found out I was adopted, I don’t think I could handle the idea of coming from somewhere else that wasn’t my hometown, or people that aren’t the people I call my parents. It’d be way too complicated.”

“Right!” I exclaimed in agreement. “That’s exactly how I feel right now. I mean, if I’m not from here, then where exactly am I from?”

“Do you know?” Hazel wondered. “I mean, where you’re originally from?”

I shook my head. “Nope.” Then I remembered how my bio-parents sounded in my dream, and I thought better. “Well, maybe. My guardians said both my bio-parents were British, so maybe I’m originally from England, which would be awesome, because I’ve always wanted to visit England.”

“Me too,” Hazel replied. “But you know, most of the so-called ‘alien invasions’ happen there. I wouldn’t want to visit, or even live, in a place where I could be easily abducted by crazy aliens.”

“Me neither,” I agreed, “but perhaps we could visit during a time when the alien invasions are less frequent.”

“Less…frequent?” Hazel asked, puzzled.

I had to shake my head. I kept forgetting that she didn’t have quite the same vocabulary as I did, nor did anyone else in our grade.

She doesn’t know as many big words as you, Sydney, I thought to myself. Talk to Haze as if she is seven, not seventeen.

“It means they could possibly happen less often in the future than they do today,” I clarified.

“Ah,” she nodded. Then she shook her head. “You and your big words. No wonder you’re smarter than everyone else in our grade. Even though you’re only in second grade, you seem to have the mind of a high schooler, or even college student.”

I had to shrug at this statement. “All these words just come naturally to me. Plus, I do a lot of reading.” Or, because of my non-humanness, my amount of knowledge is way beyond that of a normal human, I thought but didn’t say out loud.

“Well, it seems you read a lot of big books,” Hazel sighed, “like something from Charles Dickens and William Shakespeare.”

“Actually, I’ve read a bit of Shakespeare,” I said enthusiastically. “It took me a while to understand the language, but I eventually got the hang of it. Hamlet is one of my absolute favorites. ‘To be or not to be.’” I laughed after reciting the famous quote in a British accent, and Hazel laughed too, albeit not as enthusiastically.

“So, going back on your adoption,” she said to backtrack the convo to our previous subject, “did your parents—sorry, guardians—tell you anything about your biological parents; like their names, their jobs, where they live, that kind of thing?”

I nodded. “Yeah, they told me a little. My biological mother’s name is River Song, which is, ironically, the exact same name as the woman that saved us from the school intruder last Monday.”

Hazel nodded as well. “Yeah, I remember that. It’s so weird that your biological mother shares the exact same name as her. Do you think they could be the same person?”

“I thought so at first, but now I’m not so sure,” I said honestly. “I kind of doubt it. It’d be too much of a coincidence.”

“What do you mean?” Hazel asked with a puzzled frown.

“I think it would be very unlikely if the woman that saved us from the intruder was also my biological mother at the same time,” I explained. “If my biological mother and I have never met since my birth, I don’t understand how she would know where I live and where I go to school. Not to mention knowing exactly the right time to show up to save us from the intruder.”

“Yeah, that does seem very strange,” Hazel nodded in agreement. “It was like she somehow knew exactly what was going to happen and knew when exactly to show up.”

“Or she somehow sensed the danger, either before it happened or as it was happening, and immediately came running to our rescue,” I added my own thoughts. 

“I can’t imagine what would’ve happened to us if she hadn’t shown up when she did,” Hazel said in a shuddering voice. “We’d probably be dead.”

“Yeah, probably,” I nodded in response.

Actually, the reality was that Hazel and everybody else would be dead, but I, on the other hand, would probably be fine, as I had my regeneration energy to save me. Then again, for all I knew, maybe the regeneration from when I was four was just a one-time thing; in which case, I was never going to be able to regenerate again even in my later life. I suddenly remembered the intruder saying that he wasn’t truly certain how many regenerations I had, so for all we knew, that could’ve been the only time. To be honest, I didn’t want to find out whether I had more regenerations or not; the first time was excruciating enough.

“So what about your father?” Hazel asked to bring my mind back to the present. “Know anything about him?”

I nodded again. “Yeah, a bit. My biological father’s name… It’s kind of a weird one; it’s more of a title. My guardians—or rather my bio-mom—said he called himself ‘the Doctor.’”

“Doctor who?” Hazel asked curiously.

I sighed and shook my head. “I guess that’s the big question, isn’t it? I don’t know. Not even my guardians know…or, at least I think they don’t. Maybe if I ever meet my biological father, I’ll ask him. Although, that might be difficult. There are a lot of men in the world that have floppy hair and wear bow ties and tweed jackets.”

Hazel frowned. “Um, have you been taking crazy pills, Syd? No one wears tweed jackets anymore, certainly not with a bow tie. Those jackets are, like, ancient.”

“No, they’re not,” I said defensively, “they’re only, like, two centuries old.”

“Uh, that’s ancient!” she said in an obvious tone.

I shrugged. “Well, I doubt my biological father wears tweed jackets all the time. He just happened to be wearing one on the night of my adoption; at least, I was told that.” And saw that in a dream, I thought but didn’t say. “I don’t know what else he wears, and honestly I don’t care. It’s not like he’ll actually come back for me. I mean, he was probably the one that gave me up to begin with.”

“But you said your guardians said he loved you and didn’t want to give you up,” Hazel pointed out. “He only just did it to protect you from his enemies who wanted to kill you.”

I shook my head sadly. “Yeah, well, I don’t think that was really the case. I think my guardians just said that to protect my feelings. Who knows what my biological parents’ true intentions were for me, but I honestly don’t care. The bottom line is that I am perfectly happy with my life here with my guardians, with people who actually care about me and would never give me up for anything even if my life depended on it. They promised me that they would never stop loving me, and I believe them.”

“What about me?” Hazel asked curiously. “Are you perfectly happy with me? I mean as a friend?”

“Of course!” I said as if it would be insane to think otherwise. “I can’t imagine what my life would be like if we never became friends.”

“Probably boring,” Hazel snorted jokingly.

I laughed in agreement. “Yeah, totally!”

“What do you think your life would be like if your biological parents hadn’t given you up?” Hazel wondered.  

I let out a massive puff of air. “Much different from my life now, that’s for sure. It wouldn’t be normal.”

“What do you mean, your life wouldn’t be normal?” Hazel asked, puzzled.

I sighed. “Well, it wouldn’t be boring; just hectic. 'Hectic' means things would be very chaotic in my life…or at least that’s what I think my life would be like. Depending on how many enemies my biological parents have made throughout their lives, and how much they want to wipe us off the face of the universe, my guess is that I would have to live my life constantly on the run; in other words, we’d be hopping around from place to place without being able to settle for longer than six months. Basically, building up friendships would be difficult, and possibly dangerous, because if my parents’ enemies found out the identities of all the friends I’ve made, I could get them in trouble…or worse, killed. If we met, I could get you killed if my parents’ enemies found out about your friendship with me.”

For all I knew, this may have been true for me, even in real life. Maybe this was the real reason why my bio-parents gave me up—so that I wouldn’t have to deal with the insanity of constantly moving to new homes and never being able to develop close friendships wherever we went, knowing I would be putting them in danger by allowing them to be a part of my life. This thought made me wonder if this was what my bio-father meant when he said he was giving me up to protect me from himself; because he had considered himself a danger-magnet, he wanted to send me as far away from himself as possible so I, and anyone else I would meet throughout my life, didn’t have to experience all the dangerous things he was unintentionally attracting. Just this thought sent a shiver down my spine; having danger be attracted to you seemingly 24/7 sounded like a pretty sucky way to live, and it was certainly not an ideal way of life for me.  Then again, maybe it’d be fun to live like that for a bit, like an adventure.

“Do you think that’s true for you now?” Hazel asked. “I mean, from everything you said just now, do you think any of that could be true for you in real life, even when you’re living with your guardians?”

I shrugged. “Maybe. If it’s true my biological parents do have a lot of enemies who know about my existence, I wouldn’t be surprised if they were after me, even if I did absolutely nothing wrong. I honestly don’t think it’s fair to be hunted and killed just for being born. I mean, what could an infant possibly do to anger someone that much?”

“Cry and poop?” Hazel snorted.

I scoffed. “Well, besides all of that. If the truth is that they’re mostly angry with my biological parents, they shouldn’t take it out on me as well, just because I’m their daughter. If anyone is to blame for their anger, it’s my biological parents. Whatever it was that my parents did, it sure angered a lot of people to the point of them hating my parents, and therefore wanting my parents dead for what they did.”

Hazel raised a skeptical eyebrow. “No offense, but they don’t sound like very good parents. I mean, if angering people is part of their job, I wouldn’t want anything to do with them if they were my parents.”

I shook my head. “I don’t think that’s part of their job. My guardians said my biological parents actually save the world. Like, they stop the bad guys from taking over the world. It’s defeating the bad guys that make the bad guys angry, therefore they become my parents’ enemies.”

“Oh, so your biological parents are like superheroes?” Hazel asked.

I shrugged. “I guess. Or, at the very least, they’re crime-fighters. I don’t know if they have superpowers, like Superman or Captain Marvel, but that would be really cool.”

If my biological parents truly were superheroes from another world, that would explain where I got my regeneration abilities and two hearts. Maybe one day I would develop a pair of laser eyes as I got older, or make my body bullet-proof, or something.  

“Well, if you’re the daughter of real-life superheroes, that would mean you would have some kinds of superpowers too,” Hazel pointed out.

“Yeah,” I said a little hesitantly, knowing Hazel wasn’t that far away from the truth.

“Do you?” she asked as if to confirm her theory.

“Uh…I don’t know,” I lied. “I don’t think so…at least not right now. Or maybe when I’m older, they’ll…manifest, or something.”

“Manifest?” Hazel asked, puzzled, yet again, at my choice of advanced vocabulary.

“Like, they’ll just appear later in my life, when I come of a certain age,” I replied. “Who knows when that could happen? Maybe it won’t ever happen. Maybe I’ll just be powerless, like everybody else.”

Hazel abruptly shook her head. “Don’t think like that, Syd. Of course you’d want superpowers! I mean, who doesn’t?”

“True,” I said in agreement; although, my agreement wasn’t so enthusiastic as Hazel seemingly expected. The idea of having superpowers did sound very interesting, but I thought it would be better as an imaginary concept. Even though I possessed actual ‘superpowers’ that I barely knew the origins of, I recently found out the dangers of using them, and I realized that possessing the abilities wasn’t as exciting as I had originally hoped, especially since I was never allowed to use them. Apparently, every time I used them, even for healing minor injuries such as a measly paper cut, I attracted all kinds of dangers, such as the school intruder and possibly much worse. Because of my laziness and utter stupidity, the whole school had to suffer for my mistake, and I vowed myself that I would never ever do anything like that again voluntarily…at least, unless I absolutely had to use my abilities.

Still, I wondered how my best friend would react to my superpowers if I’d (hypothetically) revealed them to her.     

“Say I did have superpowers—uh, which I don’t, but say I did,” I said hesitantly, “or, say I was from another planet—again, which I’m not—how would you feel? Honestly?”

Based on Hazel’s answer, I would know whether to feel comfortable to share them or not.

“Honestly, I would think that would be the coolest thing ever!” Hazel said enthusiastically, and I had to feel a slight twinge of doubt at her declaration, as I didn’t really know how to believe it.

“What, if I had superpowers, or if I was from another planet?” I asked for clarification.

“Both,” Hazel admitted. “An alien superhero? How cool would that be? I mean, that’s what Superman is, right?”

I nodded. “Right, but Superman is fictional. I’m talking about me, right here and right now in real life. I was just wondering, if I were exactly like Superman, with superpowers from another world, would you still want to be my friend?” I subconsciously held my breath for her honest answer.

Luckily I didn’t have to hold my breath for that long. “Of course!” she exclaimed. “Who wouldn’t want to be friends with a superhero, especially an alien superhero?”

I smiled. “Oh, good! I’m glad you think so because I…”

I suddenly had to bite my tongue at this statement. Are you crazy, Sydney? A voice in my head exclaimed incredulously. You can’t tell her your secret. Remember what happened with the school intruder? You practically brought him here when you stupidly used your regeneration energy to heal that paper cut, which very well would have healed on its own. If you tell her about your powers, she’ll want proof, which is something you cannot show, ever. She’ll suffer for your mistake if you bring danger to her house, and you’ll have to live with the guilt for the rest of your life.  

This was true. I didn’t want to put her, or anyone else, in danger again, but at the same time I didn’t not want to show off my abilities to her, especially when she was completely honest about how awesome it would be to be friends with a superhero. I wanted to be completely honest with her, but I also didn’t want to lose the only friend I had by not telling the truth. I guessed this was a spoiler I was going to have to save for another time—a time when both of us were in a life-death situation; not that I would wait for one of those to happen and then drag her into it all willy-nilly. No, I promised myself that I would never use my abilities unless I absolutely had to, and that was exactly what I was going to do.

Hazel paused. “Because you what?” she asked, puzzled.

I had to quick-think on my feet. “Uh… Sorry, I…just remembered that my parents—uh, guardians—recently signed me up for a martial arts class. I completely forgot to tell you. Whoops, silly me,” I said with an awkward laugh that sounded, even to my own ears, so obviously like a lie.

Actually, the ‘martial arts class’ thing wasn’t a lie; that part was one-hundred percent true. Earlier on in the ‘house-arrest,’ my guardians said they would’ve felt much more comfortable if I’d learned to defend myself by joining a legit martial arts class. They admitted that when I got older, they wouldn’t be around anymore to ‘babysit’ me, so I needed to find ways to defend myself while I was living out on my own. A part of me agreed with this, but at the same time I thought they were being overprotective again…as per usual, I thought. Then again, maybe this would be good for me in the near future; I would need some extra protection if something similar to the school intruder incident happened again.  

“A martial arts class?” Hazel said incredulously. “Why?”

I sighed with a shrug. “I guess because they were so paranoid that something similar to the intruder incident at our school might happen again, and they feel I should know how to protect myself, and others too. To be honest, I don’t think they’re wrong, because you never know when things like this might happen again, and that someone, like that woman, may not be around to save us next time.”

Hazel shrugged as well. “I mean…that does make sense. When do you start?”

“Next week,” I confirmed. “I’m gonna be training on Tuesdays and Thursdays every week after school. I’m pretty excited, but at the same time I’m wondering if it’s really necessary. I hope I’m not gonna be doing this just to ease my parents’ paranoia. Then again, maybe this’ll be good for me, so I can save other people as well as myself.”

“How long are you gonna be doing this?” Hazel asked curiously.

“Maybe until I’m as good as Jackie Chan?” I replied uncertainly. “Who knows? My parents say they want me to train for at least a year, but hopefully it’ll be less. Maybe this will come as naturally to me as everything else, and I’ll be a pro by Christmas.”

Hazel nodded. “Yeah, you do seem to learn things much more quickly than everyone else in our class. I wish I had a mind like yours. I feel like if this keeps up, you’ll eventually start being able to read minds.”

I had to laugh at this. “Yeah, that would be really cool.” For all I knew, this was yet another superpower I would develop later in my life. Or maybe it was an ability I already had, but I just hadn’t discovered it yet. I guessed I had to wait to find out—at least until I would meet my biological parents in person. Who knew when that could happen…if ever?

First, regeneration, then telepathy, I mused, I wonder what other superpowers I’ll get later in my life.

Chapter Text

Almost a whole decade went by, and weird things still continued to occur in my life (no surprise); though the majority of them didn’t happen to me personally but in places that I’d recently been to, and other places I had yet to visit. Some weird occurrences even the entire world had experienced but didn’t affect me personally, which only proved my non-humanness to be truer:

In 2008, giant eyeballs materialized in every electronic on Earth and declared on a repetitive scale that “the human residence will be incinerated” if some prisoner didn’t hand his/herself over to them.

Every car on the entire planet (at least ones that were equipped with ATMOS) erupted with poison gas that choked the planet for a handful of days in 2009.

Also in 2009, Earth got “stolen” and taken to another area of space where twenty-six other planets were taken; and then shortly after, Earth was invaded by war-tank-like beings that had “exterminated” millions of innocent people.

Weird things even happened four Christmases in a row:

In 2006, people with A-Positive blood were possessed into standing at the edge of the highest building as if attempting to commit suicide—an event in which I had nearly lost my father-guardian.

In 2007, a “Christmas star” (which turned out to actually be a spaceship made out of spider webs) appeared over the city of London but was destroyed by a military force called UNIT; and then shortly after that the River Thames drained (however that was possible) and took several years to refill.

In 2008, a space-replica of the Titanic fell out of the sky and almost crashed into Buckingham Palace.

However, Christmas of 2009 was the worst Christmas I had ever experienced in my entire life. I remembered waking up at five in the morning to two (one) blond strangers in my house that literally replaced my guardians. I meant ‘literally,’ because the blond guy (guys?) was still wearing the clothing that my guardians had gone to bed in the previous night (needless to say, it was downright disturbing to see a seemingly random man wearing a woman’s nightgown). I was so terrified of this mysterious man that I immediately fled the house, despite the bitterly cold weather, and didn’t stop running for miles. I hid in the sewers for the majority of the day in nothing but PJs and socks—no shoes, no coat, no way of contacting anyone. I stayed, freezing and alone, in the sewers until a police officer (now back to normal) found me and brought me back home. A resident in the neighborhood heard crying in the nearby sewers and sent a police officer to investigate, hence how I was found. Shortly after returning home, I found out that every single human on the planet (except me, of course) was transformed into this psychotic man, but nobody had an explanation as to how it happened. One thing I was sure of (although, I had kept this to myself) was that I was, for once, thankful that I wasn’t human at the time, because if I was human, I would’ve become the psychotic man as well. Another thing I kept to myself was that after everyone became the man, I felt like the man was somehow familiar to me, like we were somehow the same, but I couldn’t explain why, not even to myself. People still talked about that crazy Christmas as if it happened yesterday, and it was a Christmas I was never going to forget.

Despite all the weird things that happened, I was still able to do somewhat “normal” things like everybody else. Since I was seven, I attended several Martial Arts classes after school and learned to defend myself and others in case anything similar to the intruder incident at my school back in Second Grade happened again. In middle school, I planned to join the Track team, but because of my busy schedule, I couldn’t join any sports teams (excluding Martial arts) and, instead, just went for daily runs around my neighborhood to stay in shape. I even developed an interest in music, particularly guitar and singing. My father-guardian taught me to play guitar when I was ten, and I received my first guitar when I was thirteen. Throughout middle and high school, I joined the school choir and sang in school concerts. On more than one occasion, I was even picked to be the lead singer for both the school orchestra and choir Christmas concerts; so there were weeks when I had my hands full of extracurricular activities, as well as the typical seven-hour school days. Normally, a human wouldn’t be able to handle so many things in one day, but I was obviously not like other humans. Yes, there were some days I was exhausted by the end of the day, but I still pushed through, living as my “normal human self,” as my father-guardian always said.

It wasn’t until the end of Sophomore Year of high school when things got uber-weird, on a specific day with Hazel that changed from an innocent game of laser tag to a deadly laser shootout by a psychotic armored dwarf from another world. It was also the day that my friendship with Hazel changed forever.

“Can you believe it, Sydney?” Hazel exclaimed excitedly as she was driving us to our local arcade a few days after the last day of school for the year. “Only two more years of high school left!”

“I know, right?” I said in agreement. “Where has the time gone?”

“I can’t believe we’re juniors now,” Hazel shook her head incredulously. “That’s just insane! I heard Junior Year is the toughest year of high school. How’re we gonna keep up?”

I shrugged. “I’m sure it’ll be fine, as long as the classes are easy.”

“Easy?” Hazel scoffed. “You’re one to talk, Syd, with your big Einstein brain. Everything is easy to you.”

I disagreed. “Not everything. It wasn’t easy getting my black belt in Martial Arts Class. That took years to achieve, to build up all that stamina and strength. You have no idea how hard I worked to get that far. And on top of that: choir practice three days a week.”

Hazel shook her head. “Wowzers! Seven-hour school days, five days a week…Martial Arts twice a week after school…choir practice three days a week after school… Geez, how do you do all that stuff and not get exhausted at the end of the day?”

“I don’t know,” I half-lied with a shrug, “I just do.” The truth was, I did often get exhausted from days of seemingly nonstop activities, but I didn’t get as exhausted as normal humans got when they spent hours of nonstop work. I guessed as a non-human, I was able to better preserve my energy and not get as easily fatigued as most regular hard-working humans with daily nine-to-five jobs.

Hazel sighed. “Well, anyways, I’m glad school is over for at least the summer. It’d be nice to sleep in for once. I’m getting sick of getting up at five every morning.”   

“Same,” I nodded in agreement, even though getting up early never bothered me, since I didn’t need as much sleep anymore.

“What do you think you’ll do after you graduate?” She then paused. “Or is it too early to ask?”

I shook my head. “No, they say Junior Year is when people start to think about that. Anyway, to answer your question, I’m not sure yet. For now, I just want to focus on the here and now. I don’t want to plan too far in my future, especially not knowing whether I’d be able to actually do any of that stuff.”

“Right, but say you did know what you wanted to do after graduation,” Hazel wondered, “what would you do?”

I paused for a moment, not sure whether to share my plans with Hazel or not. My guardians had often asked me that same question, but I hadn’t had the courage to tell them, fearing that I’d upset them; my plans were to do with my biological parents, after all, and I didn’t think they’d approve of my plans.

“I’d want to travel around the world,” I admitted, “explore new places, and discover new and impossible things. Of course, I’d have to get a job first, so I can pay for airfare and stuff. Maybe I’ll study abroad while in college.”

“Where would you go?” Hazel asked curiously.

I shrugged. “College, I don’t know yet. Travelling in general…literally anywhere. You close your eyes and point to a random place on the map, I’d go there, even if it’s slap-bang in the middle of the ocean. You never know what sorts of things you’ll find in uncharted waters.”

“I always wanted to go scuba-diving at the bottom of the sea,” Hazel smiled. “They say the city of Atlantis is a myth, but what if it isn’t? We could be the first to discover it. That wouldn’t be nerdy at all, would it?”

I laughed. “Actually, it wouldn’t. If we’d actually discovered Atlantis, it’d be true fact and not myth; as long as we bring back proof.”

Hazel laughed as well. “True. So what else do you want to do?”

I paused again, this time a little bit longer, just watching the world outside the car window. “I’d want to find my parents,” I admitted after a few moments of silence.

“Your parents?” Hazel said, puzzled, making me think she was referring to my guardians. Of course I knew where, and even who, my guardians were, but there were still a lot of things I didn’t know about my biological parents, including myself. Even several years later, my guardians still refused to tell me anything else about my true origins, and who better to get some real answers than from the people who gave birth to me; obviously, they’d know everything.

“Oh, you mean your bio-parents?” Hazel then realized a few moments later.

I nodded. “Yeah. I know I’ve been saying that I don’t care whether they’d come back for me because I’m perfectly happy with my life here with my guardians, but that doesn’t keep me from being curious about my bio-parents. I want to know who they are, what they do, where they’re from… Where I’m from. Who I am.”

What I am, I thought but didn’t say. If it was true that, like the mysterious Nova Song, I was a so-called ‘Time Lord’ too, I wanted to know what that was, since that was something I’d never heard of before. At this point, I was seriously doubting that the name ‘Time Lord’ came out of a Star Trek episode (trust me, I checked), or anything on TV, really, or even on Earth.

“You said one of your parents was a doctor, right?” Hazel asked, puzzled. “Does that mean he, like, saves lives for a living, like a physician?”  

I shrugged. “Yeah, but that might not be all that he does. Who knows, maybe my mom is a doctor too, but of something else, like…archaeology, or something.” My guardians never said what my bio-mom studied (frankly, I never asked), so I just threw out the first occupation that came to mind.

“Archaeology?” Hazel said with a raised eyebrow. “Who’d want to study archaeology? That’s, like, the study of dead things, isn’t it?”

I shook my head. “No, it’s the study of history—ancient history, like places like Stonehenge, Machu Picchu, and Egypt. You ever wonder where the pyramids came from, what they were built for?”

“Tombs, right, for their kings and pharaohs?” Hazel replied uncertainly.

I nodded. “Right. That’s the sort of place an archaeologist is drawn to—tombs, and ruins, and such. You know, like Indiana Jones or Lara Croft.”

“So, like I said, archaeology is the study of dead things,” Hazel pointed out in an obvious tone.

I sighed, rolling my eyes. “Okay, fine. My bio-mom may or may not have an obsession with studying all things dead, which isn’t creepy at all.” Ignoring Hazel’s sniggering, I said, “For the record, that may not be what my bio-mom actually studies. I just randomly threw that out there.”

Hazel laughed. “I know you did. Imagine if she did actually study that though.”

“Yeah, that may be a bit creepy,” I nodded in agreement. I then thought better. “Then again, maybe not. It might actually be quite fascinating. Seeing ‘dead things’ like that might make you wonder what it was like before it died.”

“Yeah, that’s true,” Hazel nodded. “You’d have to have some sort of time-machine to find that out though, wouldn’t you?”

I shrugged. “Yeah, probably. Unfortunately, that sort of thing only exists in Sci-Fi movies.”

“I remember you saying something that it would be impossible to meet your bio-parents, since you didn’t think they’d ever come back for you,” Hazel pointed out.

“No, I said the likeliness of bumping into them would be very low,” I corrected her; “like, I’d have to be at the right place at the right time in order to meet them. I never said it’d be impossible, just unlikely. But, as the old saying goes, ‘the only way to achieve the impossible is to believe that it is possible.’”

Hazel snorted with a raised eyebrow. “You stole that from Alice in Wonderland.”

“I know, but it’s true,” I shrugged in a no-big-deal manner. “Where do you think Lewis Carroll got the quote from? He wouldn’t have said that if it weren’t true.”

“True, I guess,” Hazel shrugged in a ‘okay, you got me’ manner. “Do you think you’d ever see your parents?”

I sighed, glancing out the window again. “I hope so. If not today, then hopefully at some point in the near future, preferably before I die.” Preferably before my next regeneration, if that’s something I can still do, I thought but didn’t say. I then continued out loud, “I have so many questions I want to ask them, the number one question being why they gave me up. Apparently, they gave me up to protect me from some kind of danger, but what exactly is that danger? What makes it so dangerous? What does it have to do with me? What does it want with me?”

“You said the ‘danger’ wanted to kill you, right?” Hazel said uncertainly.

I nodded. “Or turn me into some sort of assassin to kill my own parents,” I scoffed. “Like that would ever happen. I didn’t take Martial Arts classes to do anything like that; I took them to protect, not to kill.”

“That’s twisted,” Hazel said with a frown.

I nodded in agreement. “Right?”

I then paused, suddenly thinking of the curly-haired woman I’d seen several times in my life, even more so now than back when I was a kid. “Actually, come to think of it,” I said, “I may have seen one of my bio-parents a few times already.”

“You have?” Hazel glanced at me briefly when she stopped at a red light. “When?”

I sighed, deciding to admit my thoughts and feelings about the woman to my best friend, believing that she wouldn’t think of me as a freak for feeling seemingly paranoid that this woman may or may not be a dangerous stalker, even though I never felt that way about her in the past.

“There’s this woman I’ve been seeing always at a distance,” I admitted. “She doesn’t do anything; she just sort of…watches me.” When I noticed Hazel’s concerned glance, I said, “Not in a creepy way; more in a comforting ‘it’s okay, I’m here for you’ kind of way. You know, like a mother would toward her anxious child? Every time I see her, I always get this feeling like I’ll always be safe, like she’s my guardian angel, or something…which probably sounds childish. Anyway, I’ve developed the theory that this mysterious woman could be my biological mother watching over me and protecting me.”

Somehow, a part of me felt like this was the truth. The mysterious curly-haired woman wasn’t there to kidnap me or kill me; she was simply there to protect and watch over, and nothing else. Every time I saw her, I never felt scared or feared for my life; in fact, I felt the exact opposite, exactly how I felt when my guardians were around. The woman seemed to often appear on my birthday and would wave to me to let me know she was there, but she never seemed to have any intentions of hurting me in any way, certainly not in public. Despite having feelings of security towards her, I also felt confused whenever I would attempt to approach her, and she’d shake her head and disappear (sometimes literally) into a crowd of people or around a corner. I always found that strange, like she didn’t want to talk to me until a certain time in the future.

“How do you know she’s your mother?” Hazel asked quizzically.

“I don’t, it’s just a theory,” I shook my head. “But one thing I do know is that we look a lot alike. She and I both share the same facial features, the only difference being our eyes. My eyes are a much darker shade of green than hers. I’ve seen her in my dreams too, so obviously I have some sort of connection with her, since she seems to only appear to me and nobody else.”

“Have you tried talking to her?” Hazel asked, seeming more and more suspicious about this mysterious woman as I was.

I nodded. “Yeah, several times. Every time I’ve tried approaching her, she always shakes her head and walks away, like it’s not the right time for us to talk yet. It’s very weird, but it always makes me wonder: when are we actually going to talk? I mean, we’ve got to talk at some point, right? She can’t avoid me forever.” I sighed. “It’s kinda like in Star Wars with Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader. In Empire Strikes Back, Darth Vader reveals that he is Luke’s father, but Luke had absolutely no idea how that was possible. But imagine in an alternate universe, Luke develops the theory earlier in the saga that Vader is his father, but just waits for Vader himself to reveal that truth. That’s the sort of thing I’m dealing with. I believe that this mysterious woman is my mother, but I’m just waiting for her to reveal that that is the case. But for some reason, she’s refusing to tell me, like it isn’t the right time to tell me yet.”

The more I shared my feelings toward the mysterious woman that may or may not be my mother, the more anxious I felt about finding out the truth of her identity. At this point, my hearts were pounding at a pace I couldn’t control.

Hazel raised an eyebrow suspiciously. “Yeah, that does seem a little sketchy. Then again, maybe she’s avoiding you for a much bigger reason. Like, maybe she senses danger nearby, and she doesn’t want said danger to find out about you and her connection with you.”

I nodded. “Yeah, I’ve considered that possibility, but I don’t really know. That’s the problem; that’s something I really want to ask her, but apparently it’s not the right time yet to know, which is super annoying. I’m honestly getting sick and tired of having to wait all the time to find out stuff. It’s like, ‘I’m sixteen; shouldn’t I be old enough to understand things now?’”

Hazel nodded as well. “Yeah, you’d think.” she sighed as she turned off the car and stepped out; apparently, I hadn’t been paying attention to when we had arrived at our destination. “You know what, now that we’re here, we should put all confusions and concerns aside and have a bit of fun. I mean, that’s the main reason why we’re here.”

“You’re right,” I said as I unbuckled my seatbelt and stepped out into the parking lot. “School’s finally out, and we’re now in a stress-free time. No homework…”

“No tests to study for…” Hazel added.

“No more Martial Arts classes…”

“No more having to get up at five in the morning…”

“Now’s the time for celebration,” I said with a smile.

Hazel smiled back. “Right, of the end of final exams and the beginning of a well-deserved summer break.”

We laughed as we walked through the parking lot and into the arcade for what I felt—at least at the time—was going to be a good day. Little did I know the day was going to be the exact opposite of good.

Chapter Text

The arcade was, surprisingly, very empty when we entered. Besides Hazel and I, there were only a handful of other people (not including the employees), the majority of them being our age, which wasn't uncommon in places like this. When we first entered, I initially thought the place would be bustling with teenagers like us, who had just gotten out of school. Then again, it was very fortunate that the place would be this way, as we didn't have to wait in long lines for the games and concession stands.

It was also very fortunate that it was empty, because, unknowingly to us at the time, many innocent people would've been in serious danger, had the place been busy.

Over the course of two hours, we played various games, from Skee-Ball to Mini Golf. We attempted to climb through the tubes of the Children's Play Place (or at least the Ball Pit), even though it was mostly made for kids than teens. I even tried my hand at 'shooting' games, where I had a plastic laser gun to shoot at the screen, which I had a particular knack for.

"Wow, Syd!" Hazel exclaimed as she watched me shoot zombies left-and-right all over the screen. "You're really good with a gun. I'll have to stay away from you if you ever decide to become a cop."

"Nah," I shook my head. "I don't particularly like guns. I just thought I'd try out the game. But yes, I do seem to be very good at this. I think I'll stick with aikido, thank you very much. Yes!" I cheered after finding out I had won the game after killing the last zombie. "Take that, zombie freaks! But no, I hope to not ever have to use my skills. I don't much care for violence."

"Says the girl who massacred all those zombies without mercy," Hazel teased.

"That was just a game," I laughed as well. "I doubt I would ever have to do that in real life."

After a few more games, we decided to take a little break before we tried our hands at Laser Tag, which was what we were planning to do to end the afternoon. We ordered sodas at the concession stand and sat at one of the nearby tables, thinking about what else we could do before the day was over.

As Hazel was suggesting movies that we could watch during our sleepover later in the evening, I happened to be facing the sliding doors of the entrance, and I had the misfortune of spotting someone all-to-familiar that I had hoped to never see again, at least until the end of the summer: a peacock named Samuel Davies.

"Oh, no, no, no," I groaned as I swiftly turned by back on the boy and buried my face in my hands. "Not him. Ugh, I so wish I could regenerate right now."

Sam and I met last year during lunch when I had nowhere to sit (Hazel had a different lunch time), and he had offered for me to sit next to him at the table. Even though he was nice to me that day, I quickly learned that he was another of those self-centered brats like Samantha Owens that always craved attention from others, even when they had absolutely no intentions of giving any. I discovered that he was highly attracted to my looks (I honestly didn't think I was that attractive) and became totally obsessed with me. He asked me to every school event, including Prom and Homecoming, and whenever I hesitated to say 'yes,' he would push me a little harder; he seemed to never take 'no' for an answer when it came to asking people out. Because his anxious energy and obvious obsession with me overwhelmed me, I had tried avoiding him, but it was often unsuccessful, as he always tended to find opportunities to talk to me between and during classes. Even my dual hearts didn't seem to like him, because they always went into overdrive whenever he was around.

"What?" Hazel asked, puzzled at my strange and seemingly random reaction.

"He picked the worst possible time to show up," I groaned again, trying my best to hide my face. "Why now, of all times?"

"Syd, what are you talking about?" Hazel demanded. "What's going on? And what did you mean, you wish you could regenerate?"

"Nothing," I shook my head, chastising myself for almost revealing my secret. I pulled Hazel's arm and turned her around so her back was to the entrance as well, so Sam wouldn't recognize her too. "Don't look now, but Sam Davies from school just walked in."

"Sam Davies?" Hazel asked with dread in her voice. "The annoying one who asks all the dumb questions in class, and who you claimed has a huge obsession with you?"

I shook my head. "It wasn't a claim; it's unfortunately the truth. But yeah, he also does all that stuff to seek attention for himself. That's why I've been trying to avoid him, but he's obsessed with me, mainly because he thinks I'm 'the most beautiful girl in school,' so he claims." I rolled my eyes. "So he keeps claiming. He's worse than Samantha Owens. At least she wasn't obsessed with me. It's bad enough they almost have the same name."

"Didn't he claim at one point that you were his girlfriend?" Hazel asked with a raised eyebrow.

I risked a quick glance behind me and noticed that Sam didn't come here alone; he (no surprise) also brought a large group of friends to accompany him. I sighed as I quickly turned my back to him again. "Yeah, which is embarrassing. I don't even know him that well, except that he is a total peacock that cares only about himself. The only reason why he's asked me to Prom and Homecoming is so he can bring a lot of attention to himself while being with a 'beautiful girl' like me. I mean, yeah, I'm beautiful, but not that beautiful. I've had many boys in our grade claim that they're attracted to me, but Sam is next level. I personally don't like being the center of attention, but Sam doesn't make it any easier. If he sees us here, he'll never leave us alone."

The last thing I wanted was for Sam to ruin this perfect day for us; not to mention him finding out about my secret to not being entirely human. Geez, what a nightmare that would be, I thought with a shudder.

Hazel glanced over our shoulders again, and this time her face bore the expression of dread. "Uh...I hate to be the bearer of bad news," she said apologetically, "but he's coming this way."

You've got to be kidding, I thought, hoping beyond hope that she was saying that to tease me again.

That was until...

"Hey, Sydney!" his squeaky voice said enthusiastically. "I had no idea you'd be here!"

Nope, I thought dismally with a sigh, of course not.

"Fudgeknuckle," I muttered under my breath as I put on the most convincing smile I could muster. "Hey, Sam," I said, turning to him. "I had no idea you'd be here either." I then had an idea; although, I figured the idea working in my favor was going to be a longshot. I grabbed Hazel's arm and rose from my seat, saying in an apologetic voice, "Unfortunately, my friend and I were just leaving."

"What?" Hazel asked, confused; something I hoped she would never say at this time. "I thought we were gonna go laser-tagging."

I glanced incredulously to Hazel, screaming at her in my head, Girl, I would rather laser-tag with literally anyone in the entire universe but him.

"Really?" Sam said, genuinely shocked. "What a coincidence! My friends and I were just coming here for Laser Tag. You and Hazel should join us."

Seriously? I thought in disbelief. No! Way!

"That sounds really nice, Sam," I said, feeling my hearts pounding in desperation to get away from Sam (You have my sympathies, guys; how I so wish I could disappear right now), "but Haze and I have someplace else we need to be now. Maybe some other time." Like, never, I thought in my head.

"Come on," Sam sighed almost in a whine, "it'll be fun. We could be on the same team, and if I had to, I'd sacrifice myself just to let you win."

Seriously? I thought in disbelief again. Is he for real right now?

"Wow, Sam..." I said, glancing to Hazel, at a complete loss for words. "How...heroic of you."

"Totally," he agreed in a proud tone. "What's more heroic than sacrificing one's life for a beautiful girl?"

Here we go again, I sighed rolling my eyes. I then said out loud, "True. Nothing's more heroic than that." I raised an eyebrow. "You realize this is just a game, right? No one's going to get hurt or anything. They aren't actual lasers, just lights."

"I know all that," He shrugged. "I'm just trying to be a gentleman..." He then raised a playful eyebrow. "For the ladies."

I rolled my eyes again for about the millionth time since he arrived. That's not being a gentleman, I thought but didn't say; that's being an ungrateful attention-seeker.

Sam smirked, leaning into me as if to kiss me (thank god he didn't). Instead, he said, "I look forward to seeing you on the 'battlefield,' my liege. I'll make sure to go easy on you."

"I look forward to it," I said sarcastically; a tone that, of course, went over his head. After he was out of earshot, I turned to Hazel with a groan, "God, please kill me now."

"Why?" she asked, puzzled. "It's only one game of Laser Tag. What could go wrong?"

"Exactly!" I exclaimed. "With Sam around, anything could go wrong. It's bad enough being stuck with him in class for even an hour."

"That's true," Hazel shrugged in agreement.

"Hey, Syd, you joining us, or not?" Sam called to us from the Laser Tag area. "We're picking teams now!"

Hazel turned to me and exchanged an uncertain glance with me. "What do you want to do?" she asked. "You want to say we're tired and come back tomorrow?"

I smiled, thinking that to not be such a bad idea. As much as I wanted to be Sam-free for the rest of the summer (preferably for good), I dreaded to think that tomorrow wouldn't be any different.

I shook my head. "No, we'll play. Besides, I've heard he comes here, like, every day. I'd hate to come back and run into him two days in a row. That happens plenty of times at school."

Hazel shrugged, feeling obligated to go along with my decision. "Alright, you're the boss."

We reluctantly joined the group for our pre-planned Laser Tag game (although, the original plan did not include Sam). As we were getting into the vests required for the game (which flashed in different colors to indicate where to aim the laser to earn points, and also which came with a plastic laser gun, which was similar to the one I used in the zombie-shooting game), I explained how to play to Hazel, who had never played before; frankly, I never played either, but I did a lot of research on the game before we arrived.

"So, what's the plan?" Hazel asked after I finished explaining the rules. "You have a 'battle plan?'"

I smirked, glancing to Sam. "Not really, but if you want the day to be even better, I'd say keep shooting Sam. Annoy the crap out of him for all the times he's annoyed the crap out of the rest of us in class."

"And eliminate him before we're even five seconds into the game," Hazel sniggered. "I like this plan."

I shrugged. "Well, I don't know if we'll be 'eliminating' anyone, but if so, what better way to get rid of Sam sooner, right?"

"Right," Hazel laughed again.

As everyone else was still getting into their laser-vests, I saw someone sneakily walk into the Laser Tag arena and out of sight. The figure was about the size of a kid and wore a strange-looking set of purple clothing that looked vaguely like armor. The kid wore a massive helmet that covered his whole head and face, and he even held a massive gun that didn't look anything like the laser guns we wielded; in fact, the 'kid's' gun looked like a real laser gun. Upon first noticing him, I suddenly got the familiar sense of danger—the exact same sense I got when the school intruder showed up to our school in Second Grade.

"Who was that?" Hazel asked, also noticing the 'kid's' odd clothing and behavior.

"I don't know," I shrugged. "Maybe he was an employee checking the arena or something." Somehow, I doubted my statement to be true.

"You sure?" Hazel said with a frown; she seemed to also feel suspicious about the 'kid's' unobvious intentions. "He wasn't wearing a nametag. Maybe he's another player. Our vests are similar in color to the guy's clothing; though his isn't glowing like ours."

"I don't know," I said again. "Maybe it's nothing to worry about." Of course, when I said that, I was trying to convince myself that that was the case, even though I was eighty-percent sure it wasn't.

"Maybe, but we're not supposed to go in until we're told to," Hazel pointed out; "and that guy just walked in like he owned the place."

I shook my head, thinking that I was just being paranoid for no reason. "Don't worry about it. We'll probably see him when we get inside. He could just be a 'health and safety' checker or something."

"You ready to be tagged with lasers?" Sam said as he approached us with his laser gun ready, a coy smile on his face. I had to fight myself to not roll my eyes again.

"Uh...sure," I said uncertainly. I then stepped a tad closer to Sam and murmured, "Listen, Sam. Did you see a guy in purple armor walk into the arena just now?"

Sam frowned uncertainly. "No. Why?"

I sighed, thinking that everything I was going to say to Sam might sound stupid to him, but my paranoia was beginning to increase in that moment, as was the sense of danger. "I don't know. I'm just getting the sense that he may not be all that he seems," I admitted. "Just...tell your friends to watch out for him, okay?"

"Okay," he shrugged in a way that suggested I was, indeed, being paranoid for no reason. "I'll be watching out for everyone. We're all on our own team. Trust me, I've played this a million times."

I rolled my eyes again; apparently I lost my fight with myself to ceasing the eye-rolling. "Yeah, so I've heard." I then sighed in apparent annoyance. Why doesn't anyone take me seriously? I guess I just have one of those faces.

"What's wrong, Syd?" Hazel asked, concerned. "You're acting really weird, kinda like you did back in Second Grade with the school intruder. Like..." She paused as if fearing how I would react to the next thing on her mind. "Like something bad is about to happen."

"If you recall, something bad did happen back then," I reminded her. "Or rather, something bad was about to happen, if not for that 'River Song' woman."

"You mean your mother?" Hazel pointed out in a murmur, like that was part of a secret, which, for all I knew, probably was.

I shrugged. "Well, I'm still not sure about that. In any case, I'm getting the same feeling as last time, but this time feels a bit different, like this might be something worse than the school intruder incident."

"Worse?" Hazel asked nervously. "What do you mean, worse?"

Suddenly, one of the employees started ushering us inside the Laser Tag arena, using the same entrance that the mysterious, purple-armored figure used. We were about to start the game.

"I don't know," I said as we prepared to follow the rest of the group. "Just...stay close to me, just in case. I have a feeling this may not be an ordinary game."

We entered the Neon-colored arena in silence. It wasn't until we took our positions at the back of the arena when Hazel spoke up, murmuring to me, "Okay. Now what?"

I shrugged again, readying my laser gun. "I don't know. Just play like normal, I guess. But be careful."

A few seconds later, the game commenced. Everyone began running around, shooting each other with bright laser lights and dodging strikes by taking cover behind brightly-colored walls. For the most part, Hazel and I stayed where we were, occasionally shooting anyone who crossed our path.

After a few minutes of laser-tagging, Hazel panted, "I haven't seen any purple dudes anywhere. Maybe that guy we saw was an employee, after all."

I shrugged, still in doubt. "I don't know. He could still be here."

I suddenly paused, seeing someone dressed in purple streak past me a few feet away, but it wasn't anybody I recognized.

"Wait... Who was that?" I exclaimed in shock at the unexpected appearance of the unknown player.

"Who was who?" Hazel asked, puzzled; evidently, she didn't see the person walk by, seeing as the arena was dark, with only the Neon-colored walls and laser-pointers for light; that, and the mysterious person was not wearing the required Laser Tag vest.

Not even a second after she had said that a deep, otherworldly voice shouted, "Halt, human scum!" followed by the sound of laser shots that sounded unlike the laser shots that came from our plastic laser guns. These other shots sounded like real-life laser shots, like the ones heard in the Star Wars films.

While the laser shots were being fired, I heard several of Sam's friends yell at each other in confused voices:

"Whoa, dude! What was that?"

"Who's this guy? Whose team is he on?"

"Those lasers looked real!"

"He called us 'humans,' like he isn't!"

"Is he one of Sydney's friends?"

"What?!" I yelled instinctively in reply. Who in their right mind would think I invited a crazy psycho to play this game with us? How insane was that?

"Syd!" Hazel cried in sheer panic. "What's going on?"

I honestly didn't know how to respond to her, since I didn't know what was going on either. The only thing I was sure of was that the sense of danger was at its peak at this point, and I had to do something about it.

"Stay here!" I urged. "I'm going to see why everyone is freaking out!"

I ran from wall to wall until I saw one of Sam's friends. Once I found one, a boy in the grade below us named Cyrus, I yelled to him, "Hey! What's happening?"

"Some armored dwarf is shooting at us with real lasers!" He exclaimed incredulously, dodging lasers—real ones—that looked like they were coming from somewhere on the opposite side of us. "He keeps calling us 'humans,' like he isn't one! Who talks like that?"

Aliens, I thought in my head but didn't say out loud, knowing he'd think of me as a freak for suggesting something so ludicrous; however, I knew better, as I may have been one myself.

I was about to suggest to Cyrus that we run when the mysterious figure shouted something I wasn't expecting: "Surrender the Time Lord female, and your deaths will be merciful! Fail, and you will die in agony for the glory of Sontar!"

Despite the laser shots still seeming determined to find our skulls through the walls, I paused at the creature's statement. He—it—was looking for a Time Lord female, one that was possibly my sister Nova...or me. Whoever this sicko was, he was after us for our powers, or possibly just to kill us. I wasn't sure if this guy was part of the school intruder's alliance that was after me back in Second Grade—what did they call themselves? Valkyrie, or something?—but either way, this guy was just as dangerous as the school intruder, maybe even more so. I knew I had to get out of here soon, or I would surely die, and not just by regeneration. But I had to get everyone else out first.

"He's fucking insane!" Cyrus shook his head in disbelief, seemingly giving up on his attempts to comprehend what was going on. I honestly gave up on that long ago. "I am so out of here!" He stood up and made a beeline for the exit.

"Wait!" I screamed at him, suddenly having the disturbing feeling like he was going to get himself brutally killed.

Unfortunately, that did end up happening, as a laser shot was fired at him through his back, and he collapsed to the floor, unmoving.

"No!" I cried in horror as I stood up, about to run to check his pulse, when I was suddenly fired at, and I was forced to take cover again. This time I was able to get a glimpse of the monstrosity that was causing this chaos. It was definitely an alien, because it had three fingers instead of five, and the way it was walking was unlike how a regular human would walk.

"Surrender the Time Lord female, and I shall grant you a speedy death!" the armored dwarf screamed with manic energy.

Somehow, even if I was the so-called 'Time Lord female' he was after, I doubted he'd let me go with even a scratch, especially when he was so determined to massacre everyone he set eyes on. My guess was that even if he shot me, and he saw me regenerate, that'd be the only way he'd know for sure that he'd caught the right person...

Unless I just died, like Sam's friend and anyone else he brutally murdered.

That last thought suddenly made me think of Hazel, and whether she was still alive or not. Dear god, I hope she is, I prayed.

In tears, I set out to look for her, avoiding any and all laser shots, whether they'd be real or fake.

Instead, I found Sam, thankfully unharmed (for real, as I would never wish death on anyone, no matter what species...well, except for whatever was shooting at us). "Sydney!" he exclaimed in relief upon seeing me.

"Sam!" I said with equal relief. "Have you seen Hazel? We need to get out of here! It isn't safe! One of your friends just got hurt! Those aren't just laser lights; those are—"

"Those are real lasers! Yes, I know!" he said darkly. "I found that out after that sicko shot Brian dead. And no, I haven't seen Hazel. I came to get you!"

I sighed, shaking my head incredulously. A handful of his friends were dead, and he was still more worried about me?

"I said I'd be fine!" I said in exasperation. "We need to find—"

I heard an abrupt laser shot, closely followed by a girl's painful scream.

"Hazel!" I cried in horror. Ignoring Sam's protests, I ran in the direction of the scream, and I saw the murderous armored dwarf standing over Hazel, pointing his laser gun at her.

Don't you dare! I shouted, although I wasn't sure if I'd said it out loud or not. Either way, I wasn't going to let him kill her. I snuck around some nearby walls and behind the armored dwarf. I remembered the psycho saying something about Sontar, which I had guessed was the planet the creature was from. That made him—what—a Sontaran? I briefly wondered.

Hazel looked up at the Sontaran, clutching her arm where he must've shot her. The sick bastard!

"You are female," the Sontaran declared, "but you are not the Time Lord female. The Time Lord female is in the vicinity. You will tell me where the female is, and I shall spare your life from a painfully slow death!"

"T-T-Time Lord?" Hazel stuttered in confusion. "I-I-I don't know what you're talking about! W-What is a Time Lord?"

"Spare me your worthless pleas, human scum!" the Sontaran shouted at her. "Extract the Time Lord female, and your death will be merciful! I will give you a count of three! One!" He immediately started counting without giving Hazel a chance to explain herself.

As the Sontaran was speaking, I heard strange breathing sounds (much like what astronauts sounded like through their helmets) coming from a small vent-like hole on the back of the creature's armored collar. A genius idea hit me like a punch to the chest, and I knew I had to quick-think on my feet, or Hazel would surely die.

"Please!" Hazel pleaded, shaking her head, and backing against the wall. "I don't know what a Time Lord is! I don't know anything!"

"Two!" the Sontaran said the next number in the sequence, cocking his gun.

Now's my chance, I thought as I lifted the end of my laser gun to use like a club. Dear god, please don't let me die, I prayed.

"Please! No!" Hazel screamed in horror and desperation.

"Three!" I screamed before the Sontaran could as I brought the plastic laser gun down on the vent-hole with all my strength. Once hit, a huge puff of air was released from the hole in the collar, and the Sontaran screamed in seeming pain and collapsed to the floor, although I wasn't sure if he collapsed dead or unconscious. I then realized that it didn't matter; Hazel was saved with a millisecond to spare.

"Back of the neck, sucker!" I screamed in triumph. I then breathed in shock and disbelief, "Holy crap! I can't believe that worked!"

"Sydney!" Hazel cried, relieved to be alive, as was I.

"Hey!" I panted as I took off my Laser Tag vest and tossed it to the floor. "Perfect timing, huh?"

"It could've been better," Hazel admitted with a small chuckle, despite almost losing her life to a crazy alien.

I sighed sadly. "Yeah, sorry, that was a bit too close. You alright?" I bent down and examined her. She wasn't bleeding anywhere, but she had a large burn mark across her forearm that looked pretty bad.

"No!" Hazel admitted in an obvious tone as I helped her out of the vest. "He shot me!"

"Don't worry, you'll be fine!" I said as I helped her to her feet. "We need to get out of here!"

We ran out of the arena, as well as the arcade, never looking back.

Chapter Text

“Give me the keys!” I demanded as I helped Hazel into the passenger-side seat of her car. “I’ll drive!”

“But you’ve never driven my car before,” Hazel said as she tried to push me away, as if she wasn’t obviously injured. “I’ll drive—ow!” She yelped in pain, clutching her burnt arm.

I sighed in exasperation. “Haze, you can’t! you’re injured, I’m not! It’s okay, I’ll figure it out. Hurry, the Sontaran could be following us!”

“Sontaran?” Hazel asked with a puzzled frown.

“That’s my name for that sicko that attacked us,” I explained as I strapped her into her seatbelt. “It doesn’t matter. Just give me the keys, quick! It could come out here any second!”

Hazel reluctantly handed over her car keys, practically shoving them into my hand. After I closed the passenger-side door, I ran to the driver’s side and pulled the door open.

While I was preparing to get seated in front of the wheel, I immediately paused as I heard an eerie, harsh scraping sound in the distance. It sounded vaguely like the noise I heard in my dream when I was seven, when I dreamt of my biological parents holding my infant body in the large room with the strange circular column from which the noise was emanating from—a noise like a house key scraping along old piano strings. I searched around the parking lot, trying to pinpoint where the sound was coming from and what it could be. At one point, in the distance on the far side of the lot, I thought I saw a faint blue light shining through some trees, but it was so far away, I couldn’t quite see what it was or what was causing it; and, strangely enough, something in my mind told me that the noise was coming from that light.

“What is it, Syd?” Hazel’s puzzled voice startled me out of the apparent trance I was in. I glanced at her, and from the look in her chocolate-brown eyes, she didn’t seem to hear the otherworldly, yet also strangely familiar, sound.

“Uh, nothing,” I said uncertainly, glancing back toward the direction of the sound, the sound that I could no longer hear. “I just…thought I heard a noise.” I abruptly shook my head, thinking of Hazel and our near-death experience. “It doesn’t matter. We need to leave before the police show up.” I then started the ignition and pulled out of the parking lot at a brisk but safe pace.

As I was steering toward the parking lot’s exit, Hazel frowned and said, “Uh, it looks like the police are already here.” She pointed out the passenger-side window, toward the trees where I saw the strange light. “There’s a blue box over there that says ‘Police’ on it. That’s weird. Since when do police use boxes? They haven’t used those since the fifties.” 

I did a quick glance out the window and saw, to my amazement, a large blue box standing innocently between the trees, seemingly inconspicuously. The box looked about the size of an old garden shack with panels and windows occupying every side. Along the top of each side was a sign that read “Police Public Call Box” in bold lettering. When I first laid eyes on the strange object, something sparked in my memory that I couldn’t explain—a spark of recognition.

“No idea,” I murmured in a reply, trying and failing to comprehend the feelings of familiarity running through my brain. Why do I get the feeling like I’ve seen that box before? I couldn’t help thinking to myself.

“You have?” Hazel turned to me with a frown, and I realized I’d said my thought out loud. Apparently I had a bad habit of doing that unintentionally; although, most times I did it, I was ninety-percent positive that my mouth wasn’t moving. “When?” She then gasped, facing the road. “Syd!”

I turned back to the road and slammed on the brakes, almost rear-ending the car in front of us. “Sorry!” I felt the need to apologize.

Geez, Sydney, focus on the road and not a measly little box, I chastised myself, even though it’s one I’ve never seen before, at least here.

“Where did that box even come from anyway?” I briefly wondered aloud. I then shook my head. “It doesn’t matter. You’re injured; I need to get you home.”

“Home?” Hazel exclaimed. “Don’t you think a hospital would be better for me? Look at my arm! You can almost see my bone through the burnt flesh!”

“Under normal circumstances, yes, I would send you to the hospital,” I said, this time putting my full attention on the road, despite my curiosity of the blue box eating at me; “but I’m not going to take you there.”

“Why not?” Hazel asked in an incredulous tone.

“Several reasons,” I said. “One: the nearest hospital is much farther than your house. Two: I doubt you’d want to be pointlessly poked and prodded all day long when you can spend your time in the comfort of your own home while your arm heals. Three: I personally can’t go to hospitals, because my parents don’t allow me to go for fear of the doctors and nurses testing me too. There is a part of me that I don’t want them to find out about, and if they found out about it and tried to ‘fix’ the situation, they could kill me instead of healing me. And four: yes, I can drop someone off at the hospital, but I have a much better way to heal you than anything that typical ailments can do.”

“Like what?” Hazel asked, apparently doubtful that I had the knowledge and skill to help her in any way.

I paused. “Uh…you’ll see. We’ll have to wait until we’re behind closed doors first. It’s kind of a secret.” ‘Kind of’ being an understatement, I thought in my head. I then said out loud, “Technically, I’m not supposed to tell anyone, not even you. But this is something I can’t just keep between my parents and myself.”

“So you’re gonna break the rules and tell me anyway?” Hazel said with a raised eyebrow.

“Of course,” I nodded; “you’re my best friend. Friends tell each other everything. There’s still a lot about me that you don’t know.” Actually, there was just one thing she didn’t know about me (that being my non-humanness), but I guessed my two hearts and regenerative powers were things that combined to make me appear not human.

“I don’t understand,” Hazel shook her head. “How’re these ‘secrets’ gonna heal me?”

I sighed. This was not how I imagined I would reveal these secrets to her. I had hoped I would show her when things weren’t so chaotic, when we weren’t under some alien threat like we were during our Laser Tag game just minutes ago.

When my life wasn’t so complicated, I added in my head.

“You’ll see,” I said. “How I’m going to heal you is the secret. Of course, it may come as a shock to you, so I don’t want you to scream and alert your brother if he’s around.”

Hazel sighed as well. “Well, if he is around, I doubt he’d be remotely concerned for me. He’s worthless and doesn’t care about anyone but himself. He’s much like Sam, just less…narcissistic.”

We both laughed, as we knew that was all too true. Although, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for Hazel. I couldn’t imagine having a sibling that didn’t have a care in the universe about me, even if my life (lives) was on the line.

I shrugged. “Well, just in case he tries to barge in, I’ll lock the door. I certainly don’t want him finding out about this secret. It’s probably the biggest secret I have.” If being born a non-human isn’t, I thought in my head. Suddenly thinking of Sam, I said, “Speaking of Sam, I hope he’s alright. I didn’t see him on the way out, except in the arena before I rescued you.”

“Yeah, I didn’t see him either,” Hazel shook her head; “not since the game started. His friends, though… Brian Daniels…he got shot and killed right in front of me.”

I nodded gravely. “Yeah, the same thing happened with Cyrus. He tried to flee, only to be shot in the back. I’m not sure if he survived.” A part of me felt responsible for his and Brian’s death, as I could’ve saved them, urged them to leave, rather than have my curiosity of the situation get the better of me like it ultimately did.

“That was so horrible,” Hazel said, squeezing her eyes shut, feeling disturbed. “That was almost us, Syd! We were almost killed by that…that… What did you call it; a Sultan?”

“Sontaran,” I corrected. “I’m pretty sure that thing wasn’t human.”

“I don’t think so either,” Hazel agreed. “I mean, that thing had three fingers; only three! I can’t imagine what it would’ve looked like without its helmet.”

“Me neither,” I said, feeling a shudder run down my spine, just thinking about what monstrosity we might’ve witnessed if its face weren’t covered. “Good thing it was wearing a helmet, huh?”

“Yeah,” Hazel agreed again. She then glanced uncertainly at me. “How did you stop it? That armor it was wearing looked hard to smash through, and you just whacked it on the back of the neck, and it collapsed so easily. How did you do that?”

“I don’t know,” I said honestly. “There was a little vent-hole on the back of its collar that acted as a sort of breathing apparatus, and I just whacked it, hoping I’d clog it or something. Thank God it worked, or we both would’ve been toast.”

Hazel sighed. “Well, whatever you did, you saved my life.”

“No prob,” I said with a smile; “you would’ve done the same.”

“Actually, I don’t know,” Hazel said hesitantly. “I honestly don’t think I would’ve had the courage to. I’m surprised you did.” 

“Me too,” I agreed. “To be honest, I’m not sure where I got the courage from. I guess I must’ve suddenly found it in my hearts or something.”

“Hearts?” Hazel suddenly asked, puzzled.

Fudgeknuckle, I cursed myself for accidentally revealing my ‘two hearts’ secret. “Uh, did I say ‘hearts?’” I said, trying to play dumb. “I meant to say ‘heart.’ Duh, ‘cause humans have only one heart; it’d be impossible for them to have two, right? Unless you’re an octopus; in which case, you’d have three.”

“Uh, Syd…are you alright?” Hazel said in a concerned tone. Clearly I was playing too much dumb, and she wasn’t believing any of it. Of course not, I chastised myself, because I’m an idiot. “You’re acting really weird again, but at least this time it’s not ‘something bad is about to happen’ weird.” Her tone briefly made me wonder which version of ‘weird’ she preferred I acted. I honestly didn’t know which one I preferred.

“Uh…no, I’m fine,” I said, suddenly having a hard time keeping a firm grip of the steering wheel, as my palms were sweaty. “I’m just still shaken from the near-death experience, that’s all. Sometimes I say things that don’t make sense when I’m flustered. Anyway, it doesn’t matter; we’re almost to your house.”

Yeah, like Haze would believe that lie, I scoffed to myself.

Hazel glanced uncertainly out the window. “Yeah, we would be if you hadn’t missed the turn just now.”

Apparently, she was right; I had missed the turn. I guess that’s what I get for almost giving away my secret at the wrong time, I thought dismally to myself. I apologized and corrected our path to her house, but there was a downside: the missed turn cost Hazel an extra two minutes in agony from her burnt arm, and it was my fault. Some savior I am, I thought, mentally slapping myself in the face for my stupidity.  

We arrived at Hazel’s house five minutes later (or what should’ve been three, if I hadn’t missed the turn), neither of us saying a word to each other during that time, mainly because I was embarrassed with myself for the way I acted. It wasn’t until after we entered her house when I finally spoke up, “It looks like we have the house to ourselves.” Hazel told me shortly after she picked me up earlier in the day that her parents would be out of town for the weekend, so she’d be home alone with her obnoxious brother; that was, if he wasn’t staying out late with friends like he often did. Not that it mattered, as Hazel had invited me over for a sleepover the previous day.

It wasn’t until I walked further into the house by the stairs that I suddenly heard loud music coming from one of the upstairs bedrooms. “I stand corrected,” I sighed. “Sounds like your brother is having a party upstairs. We should crash.” I then noticed Hazel’s incredulous stare, and I instantly thought better. “Oh my god, I’m kidding.”

“Actually, you’d be surprised he may not mind you crashing,” Hazel said as she went into the kitchen and started sifting through the cabinets and drawers. “I overheard him talking with one of his friends on the phone the other day that he’s developing a crush on you.”

I almost gagged. “Seriously? Your brother has a crush on me? Wow! And here I thought he only had a crush on himself.” For some reason, I was having a hard time believing that story.

Hazel laughed. “Yeah, I couldn’t believe it either. The last time he talked to me was to ask if you were seeing anyone.”

I snorted. “Well, of course I can see everyone; my vision is excellent.”

“Uh, I meant ‘seeing anyone,’ as in ‘looking for a potential date,’” Hazel clarified.

I laughed again. “Yeah, I know; I was just teasing. And no, I am not seeing anyone; certainly not him.” The image of me dating, or even marrying, her good-for-nothing brother suddenly popped into my head, and I felt the need to stick pins into my eyes for it. No! Thank! You! I thought in disgust.

Hazel laughed again as well. “That’s exactly what I said.” She suddenly groaned in irritation.

“What are you doing?” I asked in concern.

“I’m looking for the First-Aid Kit,” she said, slamming a drawer closed with a loud bang. “We usually keep it in this drawer. It must’ve gotten moved again.”

“Oh, we don’t need that,” I said, shaking my head.

“What?” Hazel frowned, puzzled.

“I told you; I have a better way to heal you than anything that typical ailments can do,” I explained. “With a burn like that, nothing you have in the First-Aid Kit will help you.”

“Which is exactly why you should’ve dropped me off at the hospital,” she argued. “No offense, Syd, but you don’t have the medical expertise to heal me. And like you said, there’s nothing in the First-Aid Kit that will help me.”

I sighed, feeling guilty. “You’re right. I may not have any medical expertise, but I have the power to heal you.”

“‘Power?’” Hazel asked, frowning again. “What do you mean, ‘power?’”

“I’ll show you,” I said, gesturing for her to follow me. “Upstairs.” I then noticed her seemingly doubtful look as she approached me. “Trust me,” I said calmly.   

Still seeming uncertain, Hazel did as I requested as we went upstairs and crept past her brother’s room—not that we needed to, because he was playing his music so loudly that he wouldn’t have been able to hear anything, not even a robbery—and into her room.

“Are you sure about this?” Hazel asked after we entered her room. “I still think we should get back in my car, and you drive me to the hospital.”

“Would you rather I take you to the hospital, but you have to deal with a burnt arm for several days?” I said as I closed and locked her door. “Or would you want your arm to be healed my way, where you’re completely healed in two seconds?”

“How would you heal this in two seconds?” she asked with a frown. “This looks much worse than even a third-degree burn.”

I sighed as we sat down on her bed. “I know this all looks strange, me about to heal you without need of a First-Aid Kit…”

“Ha!” Hazel scoffed. “‘Strange’ wouldn’t be my word for it. More like ‘mad,’ ‘crazy,’ ‘insane!’”

“Well, what you’re about to witness might just be the most insane thing you’ve ever seen,” I shrugged. “Also, as I’ve mentioned before, this might be my biggest secret I have; in which case, it is absolutely vital that you don’t tell anyone. I promised my parents that I wouldn’t tell anyone, not even you; and you’ve already guessed that I’m risking a lot to break this promise. In fact, I am literally risking my life to do this.”

“Your life?” Hazel cocked her head to the side with a raised eyebrow. “How?”

I figured she wouldn’t understand much without an explanation first, so I decided to give her one. “Do you remember learning about Regeneration in Biology?” I asked to start off the explanation.

“Kind of,” Hazel said, her raised eyebrow still present. “It’s when an animal renews its body, right?”

I nodded. “Yeah, it’s very common with lizards and starfish…and possibly Time Lords.”

“Time Lords?” she asked, her frown also showing no changes. She then paused. “Wait, that Sultan—Sontaran, sorry—mentioned it was looking for a ‘Time Lord female.’ I’m assuming it was talking about one of us, since we were the only females in the arena; but it confirmed I wasn’t the one, so it must’ve been talking about you. The school intruder back in Second Grade mentioned he was looking for a ‘Time Lord’ as well.”

I nodded again. “Yeah, I’ll get to that later. Anyway, Regeneration…that’s the secret I’m going to show you.”

“How?” Hazel asked, looking me up and down. “You don’t even have a scratch on you.”

“This is a different kind of Regeneration,” I explained. “Normally, when a limb is lost or cut off, a lizard can simply re-grow it back, same with starfish. But with Time Lords, I think it’s different. For them…” I paused, thinking that I might be part of this group—or rather, species—too. “For us, we can conjure up a light from our bodies, which bursts out like a firework and completely rewrites our DNA where we look completely different from our original bodies. This exact thing happened to me when I was four years old.”

“What happened?” Hazel asked curiously.

“Since my adult teeth were growing in at such an early age for me, my parents gave me aspirin to help soothe the pain,” I explained, “but it gave me a severe allergic reaction and almost killed me. But instead of just dying, I regenerated into a whole new person. Actually, I don’t look that much different from my previous body; just physically older and taller. Although, it could also be that I didn’t want to change. Why would I want to anyway?”

Hazel shook her head. “I wouldn’t really want to eith—argh!” She suddenly screamed in pain, clutching her arm.

“Hazel!” I cried, alarmed, as I laid a hand on her shoulder. “I need to stop rambling,” I chastised myself. “I need to heal you…right now.”

“But…didn’t you say you’d…literally be risking your life to do it?” Hazel panted, seeming to barely get a word out because of the pain.

“Yeah, I’ll probably be sacrificing a year or two of my life,” I said in a no-big-deal manner, which, to me, it wasn’t, because Hazel’s well-being was more important than my own life. She was only human, after all, and I, apparently, wasn’t. Who really knew how long Time Lords could live up for, but humans only had one life, and that was all they would get.  

I then shook my head. “It doesn’t matter. You need to be healed, or it’s just going to get worse.”

“Of course your life matters!” Hazel said incredulously. “It sounds like you could die after doing this!”

I shook my head. “Not if the light still exists within me. As long as I still possess the energy, I can’t die. I guess that’s part of being ‘Time Lord,’ whatever that is. Hopefully my bio-parents will know. Although, as a female, you’d think I’d be called a Time Lady instead. Or maybe not. Female humans are still called ‘humans’ instead of ‘huwomen.’” Damn it, Sydney, stop rambling! I groaned in my head. “Sorry, rambling again,” I said out loud. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter how much of my life I’d be sacrificing; I have to heal you now.”

I raised my hand in preparation to conjure up the energy, even though it had been over a decade since I had done it last, but this didn’t mean that I had forgotten how to conjure it. The reason why I hadn’t used my energy in so long was because I didn’t want to attract any more danger to our town, certainly not to my family or Hazel. I had promised myself that I was only going to use my energy if I was ever in a life-death situation; and considering what had almost happened with Hazel during Laser Tag, I felt this was one of those instances. Obviously, that laser gun the Sontaran used did a lot of damage to Hazel’s arm, and I doubted any human medicines would heal an injury as severe as hers. This only meant one thing: only my energy—the energy of a Time Lord—would heal her.  

“Wait!” Hazel cried, raising her good arm up to stop me. “What are you going to do?”

“Remember the ‘light’ I told you about?” I asked. After she nodded, albeit uncertainly, I said, “Well…” Shortly after, I made my hand glow gold with the energy. “This is it,” I said, raising my glowing hand. Hazel immediately screamed and shied away from me. “Haze, it’s okay!” I assured her. “It’s not going to hurt you. In fact, it’s going to do the exact opposite. You’ll see.”

“What…” Hazel was speechless, which wasn’t a surprise. “How…”

“It’s complicated,” I sighed sadly. If I was born normal, I wouldn’t have looked like a total freak to her, if that was truly how she was seeing me. Of course seeing someone with glowing hands wasn’t normal. “Do you trust me?”

After spending several moments in seeming indecision, Hazel eventually nodded and scooted back over to me.

I sighed again. “Okay. Hold still.”

I took a deep breath as I gently lowered my glowing hand on her burnt arm. She flinched for just a second, but she composed herself and stayed still like I asked. I kept my hand on the burnt spot until I could see that the injury was completely healed. After a few seconds, I lifted my hand away to reveal her fully mended arm.

“Oh…my…god!” Hazel cried in genuine shock as my hand stopped glowing. She felt along her arm as if trying to find any evidence of an injury, but there wasn’t one. It turned out that my energy could make even scars disappear.  

“How does your arm feel?” I asked hesitantly, hoping that Hazel no longer felt any pain.  

“How did you do that?” Hazel asked instead of answering.

I chuckled. “That doesn’t really answer my question. Anyway, to answer yours, I don’t really know; I just did it on command. Like I said, it’s complicated.”

“How long have you had this ability?” she asked another question that was similar to the first. 

I shrugged. “Forever, I guess.” This was an honest answer, as I didn’t truly know how I could do something like this, nor where it came from. For a long time, I guessed my powers came from some genetic experiment gone wrong by my bio-parents, but later I started thinking that maybe I was actually born with them. From my research on Regeneration, we didn’t have the technology to allow the human body to completely change its physical form at will, not to mention conjuring up an otherworldly golden light, or even growing in a second heart after the first time. This meant I had to have gotten these abilities from another source—from a source that was not from this planet; but what source from what planet, I didn’t know. Again, this was something I figured only my bio-parents would know, as they must’ve possessed the same abilities; if only I knew who they were and how to find them.

Hazel then got up from her bed and started pacing back-and-forth. “Wow, I have so many questions,” she said.

I laughed. “Well, you’ve already asked two of them. There’s plenty more where that came from. You have all weekend to ask them; of course, you can’t ask them in front of my parents. I broke my promise by sharing this secret to you.” I then paused, feeling a strong sense of guilt hit me like a punch to the gut. “Of course, I may have also attracted danger to our town…again.”

Hazel suddenly stopped her pacing mid-step. “You attracted danger here? How did you do that? And what did you mean, ‘again?’ Are you saying this wasn’t the first time you’ve done this?”

I shook my head. “I don’t know.” I then sighed, feeling the need to confess. “You remember the school intruder saying that there were a lot of beings in the universe that could smell ‘Time Energy’ across the cosmos? Well, I think he was referring to my regeneration energy, the energy I just now showed you. Apparently, every time I use it, there are people out there—dangerous people—that can sense it; and when they do, they immediately come running after it like a moth to a flame. I think that was how the school intruder incident happened. I may have brought him here when I stupidly used my energy to heal a paper cut a few days before.”  

“And now that you used your energy to heal my arm, you think you attracted more dangerous people here?” Hazel asked to clarify what I said.

I shook my head again. “I’m not exactly sure. We won’t know unless the danger actually shows up, which could happen anytime. I’m sorry, Haze. I may have accidentally attracted a dangerous psychopath from another world to your house, and it’s only a matter of time before it shows up.”

“Well, what are you going to do if it does show up?” she asked a bit nervously. I knew she wouldn’t have liked the idea of a dangerous person—or alien—showing up at her house, and I thought she would’ve thought the same way about me. Then again, I figured if I protected her with my Martial Arts skills, maybe she’d think differently—that I was an alien that protected her from other aliens.  

I smirked. “I guess I’ll use my black belt to kick its ass, show the sicko that this planet is protected.”

“Surely not just by you,” Hazel pointed out the painfully obvious.

“Oh, no, of course not,” I said, shaking my head; “that’d be too much of a responsibility. I’m sure my parents are working just as hard to protect this planet too. My bio-parents, I mean. If I ever meet them, maybe we could save the world together, as a family. How fantastic would that be?”

Hazel nodded in agreement. “Yeah, that would be very cool.” She then said, changing the subject, “So…a Time Lord… You think that’s what you are; I mean, your species? I mean, from what you just showed me, no human being could possibly do something like that. You can’t be human.”

“Would you be surprised if I told you I wasn’t?” I asked a little hesitantly, not knowing how she’d react. “Not that I know I’m not human; it’s just a theory.”

She nodded. “Of course I’d be surprised…” She then shook her head. “But I wouldn’t hate you.”

I perked up at her declaration. “Really? You wouldn’t hate me? Good, that’s what I was afraid of.”

“Of course I wouldn’t hate you,” Hazel said as if it was obvious. “You’re my best friend. I’d still consider you my best friend, even if you were actually a tiny slug in a human suit.”

I suddenly frowned, feeling grossed out at the idea. “Really?” For all I knew, I could’ve been.  

She then thought better. “Okay, maybe not as a slug, but you know what I mean.”

I smiled and wrapped my arms around her in a hug. “Thanks, Haze. You’re the greatest friend anyone—human or non-human—could ask for.” It was the truth. My whole life, I was worried that I would lose my best and only friend if she suddenly decided that she didn’t like the idea of being friends with an otherworldly ‘being,’ like me. I was very grateful to be wrong.  

After a few minutes, I sighed and said, “Wow, this was definitely not how I imagined we would start our ‘well-deserved summer break.’”

Hazel laughed in agreement. “I know, right? First, we ran into peacock, Sam Davies, from school; then, we were almost killed by a psychotic armored dwarf from another world during what was once an innocent game of Laser Tag; and now, you’ve just shared with me the biggest, and possibly most dangerous, secret of your life.”

“Or lives, considering that I’ve lived two so far,” I pointed out.

“Yeah,” Hazel nodded. She then asked curiously, “How many more times do you think you can ‘regenerate,’ as you say?”

I sighed, shaking my head. “I don’t know. As of right now, that may be the only time. I honestly don’t want to ‘die’ again and find out; the first time was excruciating enough. At least now I know to stay away from aspirin.” This statement briefly made me wonder if all Time Lords had this allergy, or if it was just me. Either way, I knew the damage it caused to my body and planned to never take the med again.

“Right.” She then sighed. “Well, you were right about one thing: there were definitely a lot of things I still didn’t know about you.”

“Did I mention that I also have two hearts?” I said, thinking I’d might as well reveal that secret too. It was only fair, all things considered.

Hazel then frowned, shaking her head in exasperation. “Okay, now you’re just making things up.”  

“No, I kid you not!” I said with genuine honesty. “You got a stethoscope?” I figured using a stethoscope would be the easiest thing to use as proof to show her my two hearts, but she said she didn’t, so I suggested she put her ear to my chest instead, which she ultimately agreed with, albeit awkwardly, as she seemed to feel a bit uncomfortable by leaning her head against my chest, to which I responded that it wasn’t a big deal.

Without further questions, she placed her ear against my chest for a few seconds, and when she straightened back up, her face bore the expression of shock, which wasn’t a surprise. I then explained my theory about how the second heart appeared, and that they were why I wasn’t allowed to go to hospitals—the reason being that the doctors and nurses would think the extra heart was a birth defect, or something of the sort, and would think to have it removed, which would kill me. I figured my bio-mom had explained this when she handed me over to my guardians on the night they adopted me.

“Wow,” Hazel said, still genuinely shocked, “you are definitely not human.”

“Unfortunately, I might have to agree,” I sighed sadly.

“Unfortunately?” Hazel asked, puzzled. “Why do you say that?”

“I never asked to be born this way,” I explained. “I never asked to be ‘Time Lord,’ whatever that is, and that’s the main problem. I don’t even know what a Time Lord is; I’d never heard of such a thing. For a long time, I thought the name came out of a Star Trek episode, and you’d be surprised how disappointed I was when I found out that wasn’t the case. For years, I’ve been trying to find any and all information on the Time Lords, including my bio-parents, and every time I’ve come up empty-handed. I’m getting sick and tired of not knowing what I am or where I come from. You have no idea what that’s like. Heck, ‘Sydney Elise’ may not even be my real name; for all I know, ‘Nova Susan Song’ might be, if she isn’t my sister. If I were born a normal human, things would make so much more sense. As a Time Lord—Lady, whatever—nothing makes sense to me.”

Everything I said was the truth. My whole life I was raised as a human, simply because I thought I was human; however, this turned out not to be the case. Apparently, my whole life, I was raised as something I wasn’t…something I never was. Apparently, I was never human; instead, I was a Time Lord…always a Time Lord. How was I supposed to be something I was born as but was never raised as, especially when I knew absolutely nothing about them? I was frustrated at this, but I was more terrified than anything else. For all I knew, I was a descendant of one of the most malevolent species in the universe, and I couldn't imagine how people would react to me—how they’d treat me—if they found out.   

Hazel shook her head incredulously. “Syd, you don’t get it. As humans, most things don’t make any sense for us either. We’re all just cooped up in our own problems to really have the patience to understand what really goes on in the world. It’s incredibly hard for us too.” She then put a soothing arm around my shoulder. “And I bet we’re not the only ones with this problem. I bet there are lots of species in the universe that are dealing with the same issue on their planet. This feeling you’re having of not fitting in, it’s completely normal for everyone…no matter what species you are, apparently.”

That seemed to lift my spirits up a bit. Hazel was right, of course. This changed my way of seeing the world so much better. I couldn’t believe I’d never thought of it that way before.

I smiled, wrapping her up in another hug. “Thanks, Haze. You sure know how to make a person happy…even a Time Lord.” This made Hazel laugh as well.

After I released her from our hug, Hazel said incredulously, “Holy bologna, this changes our friendship so much! Ever since I met you, I thought you were…well…just like me—normal and human. But you’re not! I mean, you’re not human! Never in my life would I have thought I’d be friends with an alien.”

“Hey!” I couldn’t help but feel slightly offended at her statement. I guessed I thought the idea seemed downright ludicrous to her.

She then shook her head, thinking better. “Oh, no, I’m not saying that’s a bad thing; it’s a good thing. It’s awesome! I’m sure a lot of people would give up anything to be friends with an alien.” She then paused. “Oh, I’m sorry. They’d give up anything to be friends with a Time Lord. Being called an ‘alien’ must be really offensive to anyone outside Earth, right?”

I chuckled. “Yeah, probably. If you ever meet my bio-parents, who might be ali—Time Lords—too, be sure to not use that term around them. You wouldn’t want to offend them.”

“Deal,” Hazel laughed as well.

After this conversation, I couldn’t stop thinking about my bio-parents, whether or not I would ever meet them, and if they’d take me back if I did. If not, I would at least want to know about my ancestry and where I—we—came from. The idea of not knowing what I was terrified me to my core, and I had often had nightmares about never fitting in or being treated like an outcast, but at least Hazel was willing—or at least seemed to be willing—to still be friends, even if I was a slug in a human suit, as gross as that sounded.

Despite everything, one thing was for sure: I was happy to have a friend like Hazel.

Chapter Text

That night, I dreamt of the blue box.

Even though my original plan was to stay awake and defend Hazel and her brother from psychotic extraterrestrials that I may or may not have unintentionally attracted to their house, I must’ve fallen asleep on the job, because the next thing I knew, I was back in my infant body, being carried in the strong arms of my bow tie-wearing bio-father to the large room with the house-key-scraping sound and the bizarre cylindrical column at its center.

Since I was seven, I’ve had this dream on more than one occasion, and everything that happened has been the same, except for as I was growing older in real life, I started noticing some differences. One difference I noticed was that the blurry vision that a typical infant would have would gradually become clearer, and I would start to see the world around me in sharper detail. For example, I had discovered that the strange column had what looked like a collection of teardrops stacked on top of each other and suspended inside a glass cylinder, which were often seen moving up and down in sync with the house-key-scraping noise. The base of the column, about waist-height, had at least five panels that were topped with small buttons and dials, much like the control console of a futuristic steam engine. It was surprising how much more detail I could see as I got older, even through the eyes of an infant, and I supposed that was normal, even for humans.  

Another difference I noticed, at least this time, was that the dream had been extended. This time, instead of the dream ending where my bio-father would hand me over to my bio-mother to have her carry me away from him to who-knows-where, I actually saw where she was taking me. While watching the world over my bio-mom’s shoulder, I saw that she carried me outside the room to a dark place with lots of trees, possibly a forest or park at night, and standing in the middle, but also partially obscured by trees, was a large blue box with lit windows and a sign that bore the words “Police Public Call Box.” It was unlike any box I had ever seen—of course not, because at the time I had only been in the world a few days at most—although, at the same time, I had also felt a sort of familiarity about it, and also a slight sadness, like I was leaving a place that I called home, possibly forever. It wasn’t until my bio-mom had kissed me one last time and handed me over to who would become my mother-guardian that I woke up, back in my sixteen-year-old body in my best friend’s bedroom.

Thankfully, I didn’t wake up to any alien threats standing over Hazel’s bed, but I did feel a sense of confusion. That blue box I’d seen in my dream didn’t look right. One thing that was obvious about it, and also what was the most confusing about it, was that the box appeared to be bigger on the inside. That large room, which I guessed was a control room of sorts, looked like it had been crammed inside a tiny box that looked no bigger than a garden shed, at least from the outside. For something so small to have a much bigger interior like that was completely impossible…wasn’t it, I wondered?

Unless that box—or rather, spaceship—was from another planet, then maybe it was possible, but it certainly wasn’t possible on this planet; at least, I didn’t think it was. Either way, it was unusual and was definitely something worth looking into, especially since it looked exactly like the blue box Hazel and I saw while we were leaving the arcade; even the four words printed on the sign at the top of each side were the same.  

While Hazel continued to sleep, I quietly hopped on her computer at her desk (I figured she wouldn’t mind) and researched anything and everything to do with police boxes, especially ones that were bigger on the inside. Even though I didn’t find any bigger-on-the-inside boxes (typical, I thought), I did find information on police boxes in general, one thing being that they were used back in the nineteen-fifties, which Hazel was right about. I even researched what they looked like, and I discovered that they looked almost exactly like the one we saw at the arcade and also in my dream; however, there didn’t seem to be any mention of anyone seeing the boxes appearing and disappearing magically, or spotting them in places people would frequently visit that wouldn’t normally be seen there.

Since this didn’t seem to help me, I then started combining “blue box” with the things I’d been researching throughout my childhood. It wasn’t until I typed “doctor blue box” into the Search Bar that I finally received some promising results. One thing that got my attention right away was the sixth result down, labeled “whoisdoctorwho.co.uk,” which was clearly a European page. I clicked it, and it brought me to a page that bore “HAVE YOU SEEN THE DOCTOR???” in large lettering, along with a photo of a man I didn’t recognize with close-cropped hair and a worn leather jacket, the rest of the photo purposefully blurred out, probably because of copyright or something. Underneath the image was a long text that read, “I’m giving you this information so you can see I’m a normal bloke, not a crackpot. But if you’ve come this far, then I suspect you’ve seen him. The Doctor. And if you’ve seen him, then I wonder, was it at a time of great peril? Was there danger? Disaster? Even death? Because these are his harbingers and helpmeets. If you have seen the Doctor, your life has been touched by something extraordinary. And doubtless you’re wondering: who is he? Well, faithful reader, I am here to tell you: I HAVE THE ANSWER!!” and below that, the author’s name (Clive Finch) and his contact info.  

After reading the paragraph, my first thought was that this guy was completely nutty, and I almost ‘X’ed out of the browser right there and then, but when I looked through the paragraph a second time, I realized that the things mentioned, like “disaster” and “death,” were things I had personally experienced, but I had never met any ‘Doctor’ during any of those times, certainly no one that looked like the leather jacket guy in the photo.

I searched through the website some more, and I saw that there was a whole gallery of ‘Doctors,’ each labeled by number, which I thought was odd. At first, I thought these guys would be related in some way, like as part of a family, but when I clicked through each one, I noticed that one man was completely different from the previous one, but yet every photo was similar, showing the men running to or from something, but always running nonetheless; more than that, in several photos, there was a familiar blue box just seemingly hanging out in the background.

It wasn’t until I clicked through the photos labeled “11” that my hearts went into overdrive. These photos showed a face I knew all too well—a man with a cone-shaped yet youthful face, floppy brown hair, and wore a tweed jacket and bow tie. In some photos, he was seen running with three other people—a young man with short light-brown hair, a young woman with bright red hair, and another familiar woman with massively curly hair that looked much like the young man and redheaded woman. Although sometimes the curly-haired woman was not pictured with the other two, or both the curly-haired woman and Doctor would be seen together, but the other two wouldn’t. I guessed it depended on who the Doctor was travelling with when the photo was taken.  

After looking through all these photos, I realized that the bow tie-wearing ‘Doctor’ looked exactly like the guy in my dream. Based on this fact, one thing stayed in my mind: this man—the Doctor—was my father, and all the other men were his past selves, meaning he could regenerate, just like me. He wasn’t human, again just like me. At least, these were just theories, but I was ninety-percent certain they were real.

I couldn’t believe it! I had finally found something that related to my ancestry. I just had to contact this ‘Clive’ guy, and I could finally find out who and what I was; maybe he was close to my father, or at least one of his ‘selves.’

I wasn’t going to let this opportunity go to waste. I immediately clicked the link to Clive’s contact info, and I wrote down his number on a sticky-note. Then, I grabbed my phone and crept quietly to the bathroom across the hall, locked myself in, and immediately called the number, but not before checking the time, as the UK was six hours ahead in relation to Central Standard Time. It was about 7am our time, which meant that in the UK it was about 1pm; hopefully I wasn’t going to interrupt his lunchtime.

When I called Clive’s number, I received an error-message, saying that “the call cannot be reached because of [insert list of reasons here],” and I assumed the number had been disconnected somehow. I then checked his site again, as my phone also had Internet-access, and sure enough there was another number that connected with one ‘Caroline Finch,’ whom I assumed was Clive’s wife or relative. I typed in Caroline’s number from memory into my phone and called, and this time there was a proper connection.    

“Hello?” A weary female British voice asked after a few rings.

“Uh…hi,” I answered hesitantly, as I didn’t know whether I had the right number or not. “My name is Sydney Elise. Is this Caroline Finch? Are you related to Clive Finch, who made the website about the Doctor?”

There was a short pause before the woman replied, “Yes, Clive was my husband. If you wish to talk to him, I’m sorry, you can’t.”

I frowned, puzzled. “Um…why not, if you don’t mind my asking?” She said ‘was,’ as if they weren’t together anymore; so obviously something happened between them. However, I was scared to know the answer.

“He passed away about eight years ago,” Caroline answered with a slight choke to her voice, like she was fighting back tears. “Killed right in front of me and my kids by one of those shop-window dummies back in 2005 when they came to life all over the city. I’m sure you heard about that on the news…”

“Um, yes, I did,” I replied, feeling somewhat guilty for making the poor woman relive the memory, “and I’m sorry about what happened to your husband.” From what I heard about the incident back then, many innocent people lost their lives that day, and many more people lost their friends and loved ones, all to shop-window dummies, as ridiculous as that sounded. Someone from another world must’ve been responsible and possessed the mannequins into killing all those people, I thought.

“Um, is it possible we can still talk about that website he made?” I asked, still anxious to know where I came from. “It’s just…I think I had an encounter with the Doctor.” I then paused, realizing that was a half-lie. “Well, not an actual encounter, like, in person. I just feel like I may have some connection with him, or at least one of them, and I hoped Clive could give me some information on how to contact him—the Doctor, I mean.” I purposefully left out my theory that I could be blood-related to the Doctor (that being the so-called ‘connection’), simply because I didn’t want her to think of me as a weirdo. Even if she did think of me that way, I wouldn’t be surprised; many people probably thought of her late husband that way all the time, and anyone who contacted him about his website was probably considered crazy too. I could imagine she and her kids probably dealt with a lot of ridicule over the years because of it.

Caroline chuckled. “You’re just like the last girl who asked about the Doctor.” She then sighed. “I’m sorry. I wish I could help you, love, but I don’t know much about the website at all. Clive didn’t really say much about the Doctor to me or my kids.”

“Oh,” I said, trying not to sound too disappointed. “Okay. I understand. I'm sorry to have bothered you.”

Before I could hang up, she spoke up, “But I do still have some of what he had found in storage. Needless to say, I’ve been trying to get them off my hands for years since my husband died…since I have no further use for them. If you would like to arrange a meeting, I could give you what you need in person.”

Oh, good, I thought excitedly in my head, I haven’t hit a total dead-end.

“Oh…” I then paused, remembering where I was in the world, and I realized that meeting in person would be difficult, as we were on opposite sides of the planet. “I would love to, but I don’t actually live in England,” I explained. “I live in America. Is it possible you could mail me the information if I give you my address?”

“I would be glad to,” Caroline said happily. After she politely asked for my address, and I gave it to her, she asked, “Is there a specific Doctor, or Doctors, you’d like to research?”

I thought about it for a minute. There was at least one Doctor I was more interested in learning about—that being number 11 in the tweed jacket and bow tie—but I figured that if I researched all of them, they would give me a better understanding of who he was and whether my theory that these men were actually the same person from different times was true.

“Um…not really,” I answered. “Would all of them be okay?”

“All of them?” she asked, puzzled, and shocked. “Are you sure?” She asked that as if there was a lot more information than I was expecting, and she was warning me that that was the case, but I didn’t care. I needed to know everything about this guy…or guys.   

“Yes,” I said confidently. “I…uh…” I then paused, struggling to come up with a believable explanation, but also one that didn’t make her think of me as a kook. “I’m doing a research project on this guy for school, and I think that all of the information you have would be very helpful for it.” That’s a good enough excuse, right? I shrugged to myself before adding, “Plus, you said you wanted everything off your hands, correct?”

“Yes, that is correct,” Caroline answered, although I wasn’t sure if it was in a tone that suggested I was just as crazy as her late husband, despite my believable excuse—or at least one that was believable to me. “Very well. I’ll have everything I can find on the Doctor sent to you within the week, if I can.”

“I appreciate that very much,” I thanked her from the bottoms of my hearts. Of course, she had no idea how much this meant to me, seeing that she wasn’t obviously aware of my secret. “Again, I’m sorry about your husband.”

“Thank you, Sydney,” Caroline answered in a weary tone. “Goodbye.”

“Bye,” I replied before hanging up.

I then slapped myself against my forehead with my phone angrily. Good going, doofus, I chastised myself, you just made her upset, having to relive all those memories of her husband’s death. Now there’s no doubt she’ll tell all her friends what a complete idiot you are. You may have two hearts, but you have zero brains, especially in the Sympathy Division.

If I was honest with myself, I probably deserved it, but it was worth getting all that information on someone who may or may not be blood. Once I got all that information, I was going to be one step closer to finding out what and who I was, which excited and terrified me at the same time. I was excited to finally find out my true origins after countless years of not knowing, but I was terrified of what I might find out about my ancestry. If it was true that I came from a long line of the most malevolent beings in the universe, I dreaded to find out what sorts of things the Time Lords were responsible for in the past; who knows, maybe my ancestors were a part of all of those things too, and I may be forced to continue that legacy as the ‘next’ Time Lord (Lady). I seriously hoped that wasn’t the case, depending on what I found out.

An abrupt knock at the bathroom door startled me from my thoughts. “Syd? You in there?” Hazel asked in a concerned tone.

I got up and opened the door. “Yeah, I’m fine. I was just on a phone call from someone in England. I was asking about a website I had discovered not too long ago. You won’t believe what I found on there.”

“Yeah, I saw the site on my computer,” Hazel nodded. “Is everything alright? From the website, it looked like you were looking up a doctor.”

I shook my head. “Not just any doctor. I think I may have found some clues about my father. My bio-father.”

“Really?” Hazel said, genuinely shocked. “You’ll have to show me later.”

“Why wait?” I asked, puzzled. “Everything’s still up on your computer.”

“Because I’m hungry,” Hazel replied, and I swore I heard her stomach rumble just then.

“Okay,” I nodded. As anxious as I was to show her what I found, filling an empty stomach was more important. “Me too, actually,” I said, suddenly feeling my own stomach rumble. “You got any fruit?”

“Yeah, we have a whole fruit bowl in the kitchen,” Hazel said as I followed her downstairs.

As we past the living room, I saw the news playing on TV that mentioned a break-in at somebody’s house in Shawnee, which was a town not far from where we lived. Since it didn’t sound as exciting to me (if an alien broke into the house, I would’ve been more interested), I went straight to the kitchen toward the fruit bowl.

When I entered the kitchen, Hazel’s brother Harrison (or Harry for short) was there, waiting by the toaster.

“You guys are up early,” He said, glaring at Hazel as if she was a criminal, possibly like the one mentioned in the news.

“What’s it to you?” Hazel replied in a careless tone. “We’re just getting food.”

“I know,” her brother replied sheepishly, “It’s just…on weekends, you usually don’t come down this early. Oh, hey, Syd—I mean, Sydney.” He regarded me as if seeing me for the first time.

Suddenly remembering what Hazel said about her brother having slight affections for me, but I had no interest in him whatsoever, I just replied with an apathetic “Hi.” I then grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl and washed it in the sink.

“How…uh…how are you?” Harry asked awkwardly, but I paid no attention to him, as I was washing my apple before eating it.

“Fine,” I answered in the exact same way as when I said ‘hi’ before, before taking a bite, only to realize that the apple tasted off. I immediately spit it back out and glanced down at the fruit, and after closer inspection I realized that I had grabbed a pear instead, which was the one fruit in the universe that I deeply hated. “Ugh,” I groaned before I threw the pear in the trash and grabbed a banana instead, which was my absolute favorite fruit.

“You don’t like pears?” Harry said in an incredulous tone.

“No,” I answered as I took a bite from my banana. “They’re disgusting. Who in their right mind would want to eat those?”

“I do,” Hazel’s brother said a bit disappointedly. “They’re my favorite fruits.”

“Oh,” I said with a shrug. “Well, sorry to disappoint, but they’re not my favorites. I hate them. I like bananas more.”

“Really?” Harry said with a smile. “Bananas are my favorites too!”

“I thought you said pears were,” I said with a raised eyebrow.

Harry paused. “Uh…they’re my second favorite fruits; bananas are my top favorite fruits. So are you!” He then paused. “I mean, you love bananas too; we have that in common. We should eat a banana together.”

I almost choked on the piece of banana I was eating. ‘We should eat a banana together,’ as in, we take turns eating from the same banana? Yeesh! No thanks! I thought in disgust. It was now obvious that he fancied me, but I wasn’t going to feel the same way about him anytime soon…if at all.

“Uh…I think I’ll stick with my own banana, thank you very much,” I said before shaking my head incredulously and backing away from him awkwardly.

“Hey, Syd, you might want to see this!” Hazel cried from the living room. “They’re talking about what happened yesterday at the arcade, and we’re on camera!”

“What?!” I exclaimed as I threw my banana peel in the trash and joined her in front of the TV. A small part of me thanked Hazel for the distraction away from her socially awkward brother.

Sure enough, we were caught on camera yesterday. “Yowzah, that is us!” I said in shock. The news was showing archive footage of a moment during our Laser Tag game when Hazel was seconds away from being killed by the Sontaran. On the CCTV, the Sontaran was seen standing over Hazel with its gun trained on her. There wasn’t any audio, but I could tell this was the moment when it was declaring to Hazel that she was not the so-called ‘Time Lord female’ it was looking for and was demanding her to tell it where she—I—was. Off to the side, at the bottom right corner of the screen, I saw myself—or rather my back—hiding behind the wall, about to whack the Sontaran on the back of the neck, therefore saving Hazel’s life.

While the footage was still rolling, the newscaster was talking about how terrifying the situation seemed to be (you have no idea, I thought in my head as a response), and how heroic “the mystery girl” (she being me) was when she had saved "the other girl" (Hazel) from certain death. This comment brought a smile to my face and an overwhelming sense of pride wash over me, but it didn't bring a smile to Hazel's face.

"Oh, you get to be 'the mystery girl' and I get 'the other girl,'" she said disapprovingly, which almost made me fail fighting back a snort. I only shrugged.

“Whoa!” Hazel’s brother exclaimed in shock when the footage showed me knock the Sontaran out with my laser gun, “you sure knocked the sense out of that guy. That armor looked impossible to smash through. How did you manage that?”

“I don’t know,” I replied, still in shock from the footage, and the disbelief that I never thought there’d be security cameras everywhere in the arena. Then again, of course there would be; the employees had to make sure the players weren’t breaking any rules during the game, right?

“Just be thankful you still have a sister, dimwit,” Hazel pointed out. “I’d be dead if it weren’t for Syd.” That was true. If I hadn’t whacked the Sontaran out when I did, there would’ve been a high chance she wouldn’t have survived.

Just then, the newscaster showed pictures of two people I recognized from that day—Brian and Cyrus—and announced the unfortunate fact that they didn’t make it out of there alive. Thankfully, they hadn’t mentioned Sam as another casualty, but regardless, a massive wave of guilt washed over me in that moment, almost stopping both hearts cold.

“Crap, they did die,” Hazel said in shock. “That’s so sad.”

“Yeah…” I nodded, feeling a lump in my throat and my eyes watering with tears. “I could’ve saved them.”

“You couldn’t have known,” Hazel shook her head in disbelief that I was responsible for their deaths.

“No,” I shook my own head, “but I should’ve paid more attention.” I then got up and ran back upstairs to Hazel’s room in tears, my guilt reaching its peak.

“Syd!” Hazel cried as she chased after me.

“Wait, guys, there’s more!” I heard her brother call from downstairs. “They’re now talking about two people that showed up after you guys left; a woman with curly hair and a man in a bow—” I didn’t get to hear the rest of what he was saying, as I had shut Hazel’s door behind me and collapsed on the floor next to her bed and cried.

Two seconds later, Hazel came in and closed the door behind her, out of breath from running up the stairs after me. “Syd, what’s wrong?” she asked as she sat down on the floor next to me.

“I’m sorry, Haze,” I sobbed. “You were almost killed because of me. I was stupid to make you stay put. I should’ve told you to run.” Suddenly thinking of Brian and Cyrus, I muttered, “I should’ve told them to run.”

“Syd, listen to me!” Hazel shook her head. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“It was,” I insisted. “If I’d told them to run… If I’d acted as Cyrus’s shield…”

“Then you would’ve been killed…” Hazel finished my sentence. “Or at the very least, you would’ve ‘regenerated.’”

“Exactly!” I exclaimed. “Don’t you see? The guy was after me, not you…or Brian, or Cyrus, or Sam. If he’d captured me, he would’ve let the rest of you go; he would’ve let you live. If I’d turned myself in to him, Brian and Cyrus would still be alive.” Even if the Sontaran refused to leave any survivors, I would’ve convinced it to change its mind in the most peaceful manner possible so that everything would be fair for everyone; the Sontaran could’ve escaped with his prize (the prize being me), and everyone else could’ve escaped with their lives.    

Hazel shook her head. “No, Syd, you can’t think like that. Who knows what he would’ve done to you otherwise. You had no idea that was going to happen; none of us had any idea.” She then placed a gentle hand on my shoulder. “I know you feel guilty about their deaths…and frankly, so do I. I could’ve done something to stop him from killing them, but I was too scared. I guess we’re both to blame here, but we can’t let this keep us from moving on. Cyrus and Brian’s death was an accident, but we can’t do anything to fix it; the only thing we can do is move on from it.”

She was right. Nothing and no one could bring Brian and Cyrus back, but we could avenge their deaths by moving on with our own lives. I figured, even in death, Brian and Cyrus would’ve wanted everyone to do that anyway.

“You’re right,” I said after a few minutes of silence. “Thanks, Haze.”

“No way I’m gonna let you carry this guilt alone,” Hazel declared. “That’s what friends are for, right?”

I shook my head in slight disagreement. “Haze, you don’t have to do that; not when you had absolutely nothing to do with it.”

“I don’t care,” she argued. “If you go down, I go down with you; it’s what friends do. It’s already decided, and there’s no way you’re gonna change my mind.”

I sighed. She was serious! No matter what faults I made, Hazel would take the blame too, even when she had no hand in it. No non-human, like me, deserved a friend like her.

I smiled. “You’re the greatest friend ever, Haze.”

She smiled back. “As are you…Time Lady.” We both laughed. It was nice to know she still accepted me as her friend, whether I was human or not. “Anyway, did you want to show me what you found about your father?” she asked, glancing up at her computer, which had the webpage still up and running; although, there was something different about it…something missing.

“Yeah.” Wiping my eyes dry, I went back over to the computer, and Hazel pulled up another chair next to me. When I looked at the webpage closely, I noticed that the photo of the leather jacket guy had disappeared, leaving a massive space between the heading and description paragraph. I frowned, thinking this was odd, as we were only away from the computer for five minutes, six at most.

“‘Have you seen the Doctor…’” Hazel read the heading aloud. She paused another thirty seconds, reading the description silently. After she finished reading the paragraph, she frowned. “That’s a little creepy. It sounds like this guy could be dangerous. According to this, he brings disaster and death wherever he goes.”

I nodded. “Yeah, I thought it was creepy too, even mad. But when I looked through these photos, I thought differently. You’ll see the men seem to be running either to or from danger. Check these out.” I clicked on the tab to the gallery and clicked on the ‘11’ folder, but I found all the photos missing. I frowned again. “What the heck? Where did the photos go? They were all right here five minutes ago.” I clicked on the ‘10’ folder, only to find those photos gone as well. “Seriously? They were literally here not five minutes ago! What happened to them?”

“Maybe they got deleted somehow,” Hazel shrugged.

“But why?” I sighed. “Why would someone do that? And who?” I clicked through more folders, but it seemed that every single image of this mysterious Doctor had been purposefully removed from the website; more than that, they seemed to have been removed from the entire Internet. I groaned. “I’m not crazy; they were all right here. There were tons of photos, all of different men, but they all went by the same title of ‘the Doctor,’ and one of them…” I paused, feeling indecisive at first to tell her about my dream, but I ultimately decided to tell her anyway. “I saw him in my dream last night; it was the eleventh one. He wore a tweed jacket and bow tie, and in some photos he was seen with a curly-haired woman, the same woman I told you about yesterday. I’d show you what they looked like, but…” I gestured to the almost blank webpage, showing proof that I had nothing to show.

“It’s okay,” Hazel assured me. “Maybe we can find him in another website.”

I sighed, shaking my head. “I doubt we will. Those might be deleted too. Question is, who is deleting them, and why?” I then realized something. “Actually, it doesn’t matter. Caroline said she’d mail me everything her late husband had of the Doctor. I bet most of what they had printed in boxes was also on the website; in which case, we’ll see all the photos once they get shipped to my house.”

Of course, when something got accidentally (or purposefully) deleted, it was important to have a backup copy elsewhere, right?

“Great,” Hazel smiled. “I’d love to see them when they arrive. Maybe we’ll find out who you really are and where you really come from together.”

“Yes!” I exclaimed. “My thoughts exactly!”

I couldn’t wait until I got everything from Caroline Finch. Although, I had to wait a whole week, possibly longer, but I had preferred to have them by that night so I could spend the time researching without my guardians finding out. I hated having to lie to them again, even if they did find out I’d told Hazel my big secret. Who knew what they’d say if they found out I was researching ‘the Doctor,’ which my guardians said was also my bio-dad’s name. Thinking back on my dream, I wasn’t sure what my bio-dad meant when he said he was giving me up to protect me from himself, but I figured this information from Clive’s website (and more) would help me understand everything; maybe they’ll include the possible ‘danger’ my bio-dad was running to or from in the photos.  

It wasn’t until a week and a half later that I finally got the information on the Doctor shipped to my house, and of course, I kept everything from my guardians like I planned. Luckily, they weren’t the type of parents that would be nosy and insist on knowing absolutely everything that their children—adopted or not—did while they were or weren’t in their room, so I was confident that they wouldn’t discover this stuff, which I had kept hidden under my bed.

For two nights straight, I researched solely on this mysterious Doctor—especially the Eleventh Doctor—and the more I researched, the surer I felt that he was my biological father. I even started developing the theory that he was a Time Lord too, simply because I had noticed in other photos of the other men that their mannerisms were almost the exact same; they were always running. These other men had to be his past selves from past Regenerations.

As promised, I invited Hazel over to share with her what I had discovered, and, as expected, she was shocked.

“Wow, there is a lot of information on this guy…” she said as she looked through the pictures of the Doctor’s past selves. “And you think all these men are actually just one person? More than that, you think this guy is your father?”

I nodded. “Yeah, he must be. Clive’s wife said so, I mean about the ‘men actually being one person’ thing. In her letter she sent with this stuff, she said her husband was obsessed with this guy, this ‘Doctor.’ She even said her husband had spent his whole life, even after they married, researching everything to do with ‘the Doctor’ and was looking for ways to find him and meet him in person, but it never happened because he was killed by one of those shop-window dummies in his town when they came to life back in 2005. Needless to say, that was the worst night of his wife’s life, same for her kids.”

Hazel nodded in understanding. “Yeah, I bet. But how does she know—I mean, how did her husband know—these guys are actually the same person?”

“I’m honestly not sure,” I shrugged. “Clive’s wife just said he noticed that these other guys used the same title of ‘the Doctor,’ which, to be honest, doesn’t really prove anything.”

“True,” Hazel nodded in agreement. “Just because they all share the same title doesn’t mean they’re the same person.”

“Exactly,” I confirmed. “But then I started thinking, ‘what if they actually are the same person?’ In other words, ‘what if they’re just like me?’ Like, what if they can regenerate, and these other guys are his past selves?”

Hazel frowned uncertainly. “I don’t know, Syd. This all sounds like wishful thinking to me.”

I sighed. “It probably is, but maybe it isn’t. My guardians told me my bio-father went by the same title. And get this!” I found an image of the Eleventh Doctor and showed it to her. “This guy right here, he looks exactly like the guy that was caught in that footage from the Laser Tag arena last week. The floppy haircut, the cone-shaped face, the tweed jacket, the bow tie…it’s all the same. Trust me, I’ve seen the footage a million times after someone had reposted it online. I could show you.”

I remembered how surprised I was when I saw the footage. A part of me even regretted leaving the arcade when we did. I could’ve met the Doctor if we’d stayed, but Hazel was injured, and of course, her health and safety was more important at the time. Stupid Sontaran, I thought angrily.

“No, it’s okay,” Hazel declined my offer. “I believe you. I’ve seen it too…but not a million times.”

“My guardians also mentioned that my bio-dad wore this exact same clothing,” I added. “Although, I didn’t show them this picture; they actually don’t know I have all this stuff.”

“Why haven’t you told them?” she asked curiously.

I frowned. “Are you kidding? They’d flip out if they’d found out I’ve been researching my bio-parents. They wouldn’t approve of any of this. They’d probably burn all this stuff if they found it.” I then sighed. “I can’t lie to them…not again. I’ve broken their promise about keeping my non-humanness a secret already; if they’d found out I’ve been researching my bio-parents behind their backs…” I felt a shudder run down my spine in that moment. “I can’t have them take all this stuff away. All this…this is the only thing I have of my bio-parents; the only thing I have of finding them, of knowing who and what I am. I need to know what I am, or I’m…I’m nothing.”

Hazel shook her head in disagreement. “You’re not nothing. You’re a freaking Time Lady—a Lady of Time, whatever that is…with two hearts, I might add. That sounds like a pretty badass title, even more so than ‘Doctor,’ don’t you think?”

I smiled. “Yeah.” I then paused, realizing something. “Speaking of ‘Time Lords,’ I think I understand why we’re called that. Check this out.” I showed a pic of the Doctor in the leather jacket—the one which was labeled ‘09’—taken in a large crowd, watching a man and a woman dressed in pink riding in a long black limousine. “This was obviously taken just seconds before President JFK’s assassination in 1963, but look there…” I pointed to the Doctor’s circled face. “There he is, one of ‘the Doctor’s’ past selves. Take a good, long look at his face and clothing.” I gave Hazel a few seconds to memorize the face, and after that time was spent, I said, “Okay, and now check this out.” I showed another pic of the same man taken from an older time, this time pictured with a couple that appeared to be dressed in attire from the early 1900s.

“Whoa…” Hazel said, her eyes bulging in shock.

I nodded. “Yeah, see? It’s the same guy; the exact same guy.”

“How is that possible?” she asked. “Are they, like, related, or something, like father and son?”

I shook my head. “No, it’s the same person; you can tell by the clothing. And if you look closely at his face…he hasn’t aged a day.”

“How can he be in two different times that are decades apart and not age?” she asked with a puzzled frown.

“I think…” I then paused, thinking Hazel would think this statement to be ridiculous. When I first thought of the theory the previous night, even I thought it was preposterous, but if it was true this guy wasn’t human, like me, then maybe it was possible. “I think he’s a time-traveler,” I admitted my theory anyway.

“What?” Hazel laughed, which wasn’t surprising to me at all. “A time-traveler? Are you kidding? That is the most ridiculous thing I ever heard!”

I sighed, shaking my head. “I wish I was, but I’m not. One more thing…” This time, I showed an image of one of the Doctors standing outside a familiar blue box. “You recognize that box?”

She nodded. “Yeah, it’s the same one from last week.”

I nodded as well. “Uh-huh, and check this out.” I showed several other photos of different Doctors with the same blue box in the background. “It’s in all of these pics from totally different times. You realize what that means, right?”

“Don’t tell me that blue box is a time-machine,” Hazel scoffed in disbelief.

I nodded. “That’s exactly what I’m telling you. It makes sense! How else would it appear in all these times, again, not showing a single sign of aging?”

Hazel shook her head doubtfully. “I don’t know, Syd. I mean, this is all quite fascinating, but…it can’t be real. From what you told me about that lady’s husband, he sounded like a real whack-job—a kook. Who’s to say all these articles were just fanfictions that were written by twelve-year-old kids, and this alien ‘Doctor’ was their main protagonist? I’ll admit, I’ll give them props for their creativity.”

I shook my head in disagreement. “I don’t think this is fanfiction; this has to be real. Come on, Haze, you saw the box in the parking lot; you said it’s never been there before until that day. As big as it was, how can one man lift that thing with his own two hands?”

“He had help?” Hazel shrugged. “There was a woman with him. They must’ve lifted the thing together.”

“Yes, but why would they waste time lifting the box, taking it there, and then running into the arcade to handle the Sontaran?” I pointed out. “I’m telling you, that box isn’t an ordinary box. It’s got to be alien; or rather, Time Lord.”

“So…what, Time Lords control Time, or something?” Hazel asked, puzzled.

I shook my head. “I don’t think they ‘control’ it, per se; more like they keep Time in order. Like, they travel to different times and places and make sure nothing tries to change what’s supposed to happen there. You know, like the Apollo 11 Launch that happened on July 16, 1969, or the signing of the Declaration of Independence on August 7, 1776. They’re in charge of making sure events like these are not changed in any way, or the world today would be much different. At least, that’s what I think they do.”

That’s what we do, I corrected myself in my head. Thinking back on it, the idea sounded pretty cool, especially if I would possibly be doing something like this as a future career. I could become famous by simply saving an important event, such as the two I listed, from being changed; it just depended on whether or not I was witnessed doing it.

Hazel nodded. “Yeah, I get it.” She then shrugged. “Well, if you ever see that blue box in our neighborhood, be sure to let me know so I know you’re not crazy.”

“I’m not crazy!” I insisted. I then sighed, admitting, “Granted, we didn’t see it magically appear out of nowhere.”

“Well, then I guess we’ll just have to find out where it’s going to ‘magically appear’ next and have our cameras ready,” Hazel teased.

“I doubt it’ll be that simple,” I chuckled as well, shaking my head. “I have a feeling it won’t just appear at your beck-and-call; it’s much more complicated than that. More like we’ll have to be at the right place at the right time.”

Hazel shook her head disappointedly. “Well, I guess we missed our opportunity last time. Blame the Sultan for almost shooting my arm off.”

I laughed. “Yeah. If the box does appear again, we’ll be sure to stick around this time, no matter what danger we’re in.” Hazel laughed as well.

After my declaration, I felt more determined to find out the mystery of the blue box and the true identities of my bio-parents. Now, I wanted more than ever to find them…if ever.

Chapter Text

Unfortunately, I didn’t see the blue box over the next two years. I had searched high and low for any signs of its appearance, both in public and online. I had even had the courage to speak to a handful of neighbors about whether or not they’d seen the blue box, and nothing. I briefly wondered if the person who was responsible for deleting any and all information on the mysterious ‘Doctor’ was responsible for deleting anything to do with the box as well. If that was the case, I hoped to find whoever was responsible so I could get him/her to return everything about them back online, but something in the back of my mind told me this was going to be a longshot. If I couldn’t find anything on the blue box, how was I going to find my bio-parents? Apparently, jerks like these never make it easy, which was the unfortunate truth. I eventually shrugged the idea off, thinking that the blue box will just show up whenever it shows up, which could happen at any time.

Why does everything have to be so mysterious? I thought dismally, and why do I always have to wait to find out stuff? I hate being patient. Patience is for wimps.

It wasn’t until graduation finally came that things started to make more sense, but at the same time, other things were starting to get more complicated, particularly my own true identity.  

Of course, graduation was one of the best times of my life. I graduated with the highest GPA of every graduating Senior, and because of that, I was chosen as the Valedictorian for the graduating class of 2015, which was a huge honor. With my cap and gown, I was given a gold medal to wear at the graduation ceremony, and I was also responsible for giving the closing speech at the end (which I had to write all on my own), which set my nerves on edge, as speaking in front of a large crowd of over a thousand people was not my strong suit, but it surprisingly went very well. After my closing speech, I joined the school choir for the last time to sing our school’s alma mater, with me as the lead singer (no surprise there). As if being under the spotlight wasn’t enough to set my hearts into overdrive.

When the ceremony was finally over, we left the auditorium and rejoined all of our friends and families, as well as received our proper print-out diplomas (when the Board announced our names, we were given an empty folder that would hold our diplomas).

“Can you believe it, Syd?” Hazel cried excitedly as she tackled me in a ginormous hug. “We’re high school graduates! Finally!”

“I know, right?” I agreed with equal excitement. “Freedom, here we come!” Of course, in the real world, you’d get more freedom to do what you want, whenever you want, and not be told otherwise, which wasn’t a privilege we were given in high school; even in your free time, there were still some strict rules you had to follow.

“Ha! Couldn’t have said it better myself,” Hazel sniggered. “Also, if I might add…no more crappy cafeteria food.”

I laughed as well. “Yeah, that’s true too. Apparently, cafeterias don’t have the word ‘freshness’ as part of their vocabulary.” Need I have said more?

Hazel laughed again, then murmured, “By the way, excellent job on that closing speech. You sure inspired a lot of people to ‘learn to accept change and embrace it like an old friend.’ I bet you were thinking about your ‘secret’ when you wrote that in your paper.”

That was true. When I wrote that bit in my paper, I suddenly wondered if this was—is—what Time Lords had to think about when it came time for them to regenerate. I imagined it would be difficult to accept a new body right away, whether one was originally ready to regenerate or not. I wondered if my bio-parents dealt with this sort of thing. Somehow, I knew I would in the years to come.  

I nodded. “To be honest, I was thinking about it. Of course, no one would’ve figured that out…” I paused. “No one except you…and my guardians, of course.” I then sighed heavily. “I’m also surprised that I didn’t pass out. Public Speaking is so not my forte.”

Hazel shook her head. “That may be so, but you made a tremendous impact on a lot of people’s lives. I could tell some people got all teary-eyed, even Jacob Macdonald, who never gets emotional.”

I chuckled, thinking better. “Huh. If I can make even Spock emotional, then maybe I do have a way with words, after all.”

Throughout high school, Jacob Macdonald was known as Spock, simply because he often seemed to have absolutely no emotion, as well as having pointy ears, much like the Vulcans in Star Trek. I never understood why he always seemed to have no time for fun, but one thing that was funny about Jacob was that he hated Star Trek, despite being called Spock for four years straight.

“I should think so,” Hazel agreed. “I’d definitely vote you as ‘The Girl Who Makes the Most Inspirational Speeches.’”

I smiled. “Aw, thanks, Haze. I’d definitely vote you as ‘The Girl Who Always Knows What to Say to Make Humans and Non-Humans Happy.’” She smiled as well.

As I wrapped my arms around her in an even tighter hug, I suddenly got the sense that I was being watched. More than that, I was being watched by someone that was just like me—someone who was another Time Lord; although, how I knew that, I had no idea. I glanced over, and I saw a familiar man in a tweed jacket and bow tie standing with an even more familiar curly-haired woman at his side. The woman had one hand on her male counterpart’s shoulder and the other hand on his chest, presumably over one of his hearts, if he had two, like me. They both smiled warmly at me.

A part of me wanted to take Hazel and walk away from them, as they were complete strangers to me, but another part of me wanted to stay, knowing this couple wasn’t dangerous. I mean, if they were dangerous, they would’ve tried attacking us, right?

Suddenly, something unexpected happened. A male voice spoke to me in my head, and somehow I knew it was the voice that belonged to the man in the bow tie, and it was also one I’d recognized from my dream. What was even stranger was that when he spoke, his mouth was not moving; he was speaking telepathically.  

‘Congratulations, Nova,’ he said in a British, but also one that sounded incredibly ancient for his age, accent, sounding like he was standing right next to me and not twenty feet away from me. ‘We are so proud of you, and we love you ‘til the end of Time.’

Feeling a bit creeped out, I responded in my head as a question, ‘Thank you?’ I refrained from saying that I loved them back, since I didn’t know who these strangers were; how could I love someone I didn’t even know? A large crowd of high school graduates and families alike walked past the mysterious man and woman, blocking them from my vision, and when the crowd completely past, the man and woman were gone.

Typical, I sighed, rolling my eyes.

“What is it, Syd?” Hazel asked with concern in her young voice, unlike the man’s.

I frowned, deciding whether or not to follow to see where they went, but I ultimately decided not to; what would be the point if they disappeared, like the woman often did whenever I tried talking to her? “Nothing. I just…” I turned back to Hazel slowly. “I thought I saw them. My biological mother, River Song, and that ‘Doctor.’” I decided to call him ‘Doctor,’ since I was still unsure whether he was my bio-father or not.

“Where?” Hazel asked as she looked around, puzzled.

I pointed in the general direction of where I saw them. “They were over there, but they disappeared with a large crowd.” I sighed. “Of course they did; no doubt my mother got him into the whole ‘disappearing act’ as well. I really wish they’d stop doing that. They’re not exactly putting on a good first impression; if anything, it’s a creepy one.”

Hazel shrugged. “I’m sure they don’t mean to be creepy,” she said in an assuring tone. “You once said that they were avoiding you simply because it wasn’t yet the right time to talk. Obviously, now isn’t that time since they left.”

I sighed again. “Yeah, well I really wish it was the time to talk. I need to know who they are, especially if they might be dangerous.” I then murmured in Hazel’s ear, “I mean, the man said in my dream that he gave me up to protect me from himself, but I just saw him standing right over there. Why would he appear to me if he wants to keep me from himself? It doesn’t make sense.” I then paused, realizing something. “Then again, if he truly was dangerous, why would he congratulate me and tell me he loves me?”

That in itself didn’t make any sense. As far as I knew, dangerous people typically didn’t care about anyone; they certainly wouldn’t love anyone. The more I thought about it, the greater the mystery that seemed to be surrounding this tweed-clad Doctor and his curly-haired companion, whose faces looked much like my own.

“What?” Hazel asked, puzzled, and I then realized that she obviously didn’t hear the man’s voice; only I did, possibly because it was meant for only Time Lord ears to hear. Either that, or only strong telepathic minds—like mine, apparently—could hear his message.

I abruptly shook my head, believing the whole ‘telepathy’ thing to be ridiculous. “Never mind, let’s just find our parents. Our true parents, I mean.”

We were able to find both of our parents, and along the way I was congratulated by many of my former classmates and their families on a job well done on becoming the Valedictorian of our class, as well as succeeding in presenting my farewell speech at the ceremony. I even was congratulated by Sam Davies, which was a huge surprise, what with how self-absorbed he was, but in the end I didn’t care; at least he was genuinely proud of me and less of himself. Once we found our families, we stayed a little while longer and then went our separate ways; although, I was definitely going to see Hazel again many more times over the summer before college.   

Even long before graduation, I had applied for many colleges across the country, as well as a few in The United Kingdom, as I was thinking of studying abroad there even for my first year (as well as finding my bio-parents, of course, since I had a theory that they lived there); and even long before I found out I was going to be the Valedictorian of my graduating class, I got accepted into the majority of them (as well as being offered a few legit scholarships from some), mainly because of my already-high GPA. Now, I’d most likely be accepted into any college I wanted, especially as the Valedictorian. Most colleges only chose the smartest students to attend, but I personally wasn’t worried, what with my big Einstein brain.

The big question was: would they be willing to accept a Time Lord into their university, especially if they needed proof of my identity?  

I then shook my head. You’re overthinking things again, Sydney, I sighed to myself. They’re not going to need any medical information from you to allow you to attend. All they care about is general grades and ACT scores. They don’t care what species you are, as long as you’re responsible and smart. This thought sent a wave of relief down my spine, because, luckily for me, I was both.

By a week after graduation, I had applied to almost every university in both America and England, and I had been accepted into almost all of them. Now, it was just a matter of choosing which university to attend, which would determine my immediate future.

Although, how far would I go before everyone found out I wasn’t human, and they would send me to Area 51 (or wherever they took illegal aliens) to be needlessly experimented on for the rest of my life, or at least until I ran out of regenerations? I honestly couldn’t imagine anything worse.    

However, it wasn’t until later that same day when my life had turned completely upside down.

I was in my room, taking a break from applying for more colleges by practicing my guitar-playing. A few years earlier, I had learned to write my own songs, and now I was practicing a new song I had written for my guardians.

“Can you hear me…when I call your name…” I sang as I strummed along on my guitar, but then I was interrupted by an abrupt knock on my bedroom door.

“Nov—Sydney, sweetheart?” I heard my mother’s voice as she slowly opened the door. “Can we talk to you?”

I immediately stopped playing and looked over to see both of my parents entering my room. “Yeah, I’m just practicing.” As I set my guitar aside, I noticed the nervous looks on both my parents’ faces, and a massive chill ran down my spine. “What’s up?” I asked, feeling a bit concerned.

Mom closed my door and sat on my bedside. “Your father and I have something we need to discuss with you,” she said with a slight shake to her voice, “and it’s something we know you’ve been waiting your whole life to talk about.”

In that moment, I knew exactly what she meant. Oh, boy…this is it, isn’t it? I thought with a shudder. They’re about to confirm I was never human. I had been both anxious for and dreading this moment for at least fifteen years, and now it was finally happening.  

“And now that you’re eighteen and have graduated,” Dad continued, “we think it’s time to tell you the truth about where you really come from.”

Yup, I thought, my anxiety increasing, this is definitely it.

But I couldn’t take it. “Which isn’t Earth,” I admitted before I could stop myself.

Mom suddenly paused, glancing uncertainly at Dad. “Um…what, honey?”

“That’s the truth, isn’t it?” I asked, my anxiety now reaching its peak. “I’m not really from Earth; in fact, I was never born on this planet. I was actually born elsewhere, which makes me not human. That would explain my regenerative powers and the fact my IQ is much higher than the average human of my age.”

My parents continued glancing at each other. “How do you know all this?” Dad asked with a frown.

I shook my head. “I didn’t. I was just waiting for you to confirm it all. But I can tell you where I got all my theories from. You wanna know how I found out?”

They looked almost terrified now, like I had suddenly become a true alien with tentacles, or horns, or whatever they were picturing my physical form with. It was highly disturbing, but it was like something else had taken over my mouth and made me say all these things, and I had no control.

“How?” Mom asked, looking more terrified than ever.

I sighed as I explained everything. “The truth is, I found out right after my first regeneration, which was Sign #1, when you guys told me it was normal for me but not for other humans, since completely rewriting one’s DNA into someone else’s is impossible for a regular human to do. Sign #2: I grew in an extra heart, which is, again, something completely impossible for a human. For years, you told me to keep my powers secret from the rest of the world, and if I were human, this wouldn’t have been a problem; not to mention, not a single human has a secret like this. This was Sign #3. Sign #4: my IQ is obviously much higher than the average human of my age, maybe even higher than Albert Einstein’s at this point. And Sign #5: I’m adopted, which should’ve been the second obvious sign behind Regeneration. I could possibly go on, but there are at least five obvious signs that I’m not human.”

“Six actually,” Dad immediately corrected me.

I frowned, puzzled. “Six?”

He glanced to Mom and then back to me. “Your name isn’t really Sydney Elise,” he confessed. “That was just a name we gave you because your bio-parents didn’t want us using your real name in case you met with the wrong people.”

“That, and if we were able to have a real daughter, we would’ve named her Sydney Elise,” Mom added. “So that worked out for us, needless to say.”

“By ‘wrong people,’ you mean my bio-parents’ enemies that want me dead?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.

Dad nodded. “Yes. If we used your real name, they would’ve most likely found you a lot sooner, and who knows where you’d be now.”

Probably being trained as an assassin, I thought, suddenly feeling disturbed, or tortured, or killed. I wondered if this was exactly what the school intruder, and possibly the Sontaran, wanted to do with the mysterious Nova as well. Suddenly thinking of her, I asked out loud, “So who’s Nova Susan Song? Is she my sister? Where does she fit into all of this?”

Mom glanced to Dad again and sighed, “That is what we were about to tell you—who she really is.”

“Okay, so who is she?” I asked a little impatiently. The growing anxiety was becoming too much to handle, but I also couldn’t help thinking in my head, please don’t be me, please don’t be me, please don’t be me…

Mom sighed again. “She is not your sister…” she confessed. After a short pause, she said, “She is you. Nova Susan Song is your real name.”

I felt like both of my hearts had stopped in that moment. “She…she’s me?” I asked in shock, barely getting a word out. “Are you saying…the school intruder back in Second Grade…was after me this whole time?”

She couldn’t be serious! She just couldn’t! I glanced to Dad, but he just nodded.

“Yes,” Mom nodded. “That was why we immediately called the school to make sure you were alright and to have you brought home. We were so worried that he’d caught you and taken you away from us forever.”

“But he didn’t,” I said, shaking my head. “He was stopped by my mother.” I then paused. “Or who I think was my mother. She was even at the arcade after the Sontaran attacked us a few years ago. I assumed she got rid of him with my dad, who was the man in the bow tie she was with. I saw the footage online but didn’t meet them in person. They came in a blue police box, which had to be alien—excuse me, Time Lord, which is also what I am. I assume that was another thing you were gonna tell me?” There was no doubt that was the main secret they were going to spill, but I had known about it for a while now. However, I hoped they would know more about the history of the Time Lords, including where they were from.

“Yes,” Dad nodded to answer my question, but the rest of his answer wasn’t what I had hoped. “Although, I’m sorry to say we don’t know much about the Time Lords; only that that is what you are, as are your parents, mostly your dad. Your mom is half-and-half.”

“half-and-half?” I asked, puzzled. “You mean she’s part-Time Lord?”

Dad nodded again and continued, “And part-human; although, mostly human now. She gave up all her Time Lord powers once upon a time to save your father’s life. Unfortunately, she didn’t tell us any details.”

I suddenly remembered the blue box and asked, “And…what about the blue box? Surely you’ve seen it?”

It was Mom’s turn to nod now. “Yes, we’ve seen it. It was there on the night we adopted you. It appeared out of nowhere with a great wheezing sound, and it disappeared in the same way after your mother handed you over to us. It was unlike anything I’ve ever seen.”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say it looked bigger on the inside,” Dad said with a slight chuckle, “but that’s ridiculous.”

“River said that box was a spaceship as well as a time-machine,” Mom shrugged in agreement. “Nothing’s more ridiculous than that.”

These words hit me like a stab to both hearts simultaneously. “Oh, great,” I groaned, distressed. “I come from a family of mad people. That’s what you’re saying, isn’t it?” How could they do this to me, especially after years of saying they loved me?

Mom abruptly shook her head. “No, sweetie, that’s not what we’re saying at all. We just never thought we’d be in a situation like this. Not that raising you was a bad thing. It was a very good thing; it was the best thing that’s ever happened to us. We always told you, you were special, and we truly meant it.”

“What your mother means is that eighteen years ago, we never imagined we’d be raising someone’s child that wasn’t human,” Dad explained; “and it wasn’t until you opened your beautiful emerald eyes and smiled up at us for the first time that we realized that we made the right decision to raise you, whether you were human or not. In that moment, I knew you were my daughter…that you had become my daughter. We were never going to give you up, like your parents did. Of course, they did it for a good reason, but we weren’t going to be like them, no matter what happened to us. I would never let anything keep us apart.”

I was speechless in that moment. My dad’s words were like music to my ears, but I couldn’t help but fear about the safety of my guardians if my bio-parents’ enemies found them while on their search for me. If the enemies had found us, they would probably do anything to get to me and would more than likely kill my guardians to do it. Just this thought sent a shiver down my spine that I feared I would never get rid of.

“What’s wrong, sweetie?” my mother-guardian asked, noticing my disturbed silence.

“I want to be alone,” I said, suddenly feeling guilty and struggling to fight back tears. “This is…this is too much to process. I need to be alone for a few hours, maybe even the rest of the night.” Even though I said this, I figured it was going to take a lot longer to accept this new—though not entirely new—information. In that moment, now that everything had been revealed/confirmed (I couldn’t imagine there not being a slash between the two words, because my guardians had both revealed and confirmed the terrible truth of my identity), my whole universe was turned completely upside down, and there was no way of fixing it right-side-up…not ever again.  

Seeming somewhat concerned, my mother-guardian nodded. “Of course, honey. We’ll leave you alone for as long as you need.” As she and my father-guardian prepared to leave my bedroom (although they seemed reluctant to do so), she suddenly paused. “Oh, I almost forgot. This is for you.” She lifted up a skinny navy-blue box that I never realized she was carrying when they first entered my room. The box had a silver ribbon that was tied in a neat bow. “It’s from your bio-parents. They wanted us to give you this when you came of age.”

As a response, I could only nod. She then placed the box on my bedside and left the room without another word, closing the door behind her.

Immediately after my guardians left, I buried my face in my pillow and cried, both hearts now completely broken.

Chapter Text

I can’t believe this. I can’t believe what had just happened…what I was just told. I can’t believe my parents would do such a thing—to keep this secret from me for so long!

I guess that settles it now. The beans have finally been spilt. It’s all true.

I am not human.

Of course, I’ve known this for a while, pretty much my whole life. Now that everything has been confirmed, it seems too absurd to be believable.

I don’t know what to believe anymore. I don’t even know my own identity anymore. I feel like my whole life has been a big, fat lie.

Only one thing is for certain, one thing that stands above all other absurdities:

I am an unearthly child. A freak. A nobody. An alien. An alien whose name was never the name that her human guardians gave her. An alien who always seems to stand out from a large crowd, simply because her IQ is way too advanced for her age. An alien who obviously has superpowers way beyond Planet Earth. An alien who doesn’t have a clue where she truly comes from. An alien whose true name will haunt her for the rest of her days:

Nova Susan Song.

As much as I like the sound of the whole name put together, I don’t want it to be mine. I don’t want to possess the name of someone whom the entire universe seems to want dead. If I was born human—if I was normal—I wouldn’t have to worry about such things. I could have normal rights, normal friends, a normal family…a normal life.

But my life was never normal, and it will never be normal again.

As I lay on my bed, tears staining my pillow, I try to think about my (Sydney’s) entire childhood and every memorable event that happened that was normal, but I could only think of events in my life that were the exact opposite:

My first regeneration, along with growing in a second heart…

The school intruder that hunted for me back in Second Grade…

My guardians revealing that I was not their true daughter, and that they had, in fact, adopted me…

The entire world, except for me, transforming (temporarily) into the creepy blond guy on the worst Christmas ever…

Saving my best friend Hazel from being murdered by a psychotic armored dwarf (that was also hunting me) during what was once an innocent game of Laser Tag…

Revealing my secret to Hazel when I healed her arm with my regeneration energy not long after the Laser Tag incident…

Discovering the website on the Internet about the mysterious ‘Doctor’ and his many faces…

Having the recurring dream of the night of my adoption and the strange blue police box with its unearthly sounds and impossible interior…

Being “stalked” throughout my life by an unknown curly-haired woman, whose face looks almost exactly like my own…

And just now when I was told the terrible truth of my identity.

When all these things were happening at the time that they happened, I never understood why they were happening to me, or vice versa for some, when the entire world except for me was affected. Now that it has been confirmed that I am not human, it all makes sense. Certain events, such as the entire Human Race becoming the creepy blond guy that Christmas, happened to everyone else but me, because only those who were human were affected, and those who weren’t (like me) were spared. That would explain why I never became the blond guy when everyone else did, or I wasn’t possessed into standing at the edge of the highest building because I didn’t have A-Positive blood. Then again, several other humans didn’t have that blood-type either; but if, say, every human had that blood-type, I would’ve been the only one not affected. These types of events, being some of the biggest events in Earth history, proved that I was never human, and I now understand that perfectly.

Also, now that I know the truth, I feel like a large part of me has died. The part of me that defined me as ‘Sydney Elise’ has been destroyed and replaced with someone else…this complete stranger that is Nova Susan Song. It’s like I regenerated again, but this time my whole identity has changed. It’s like Sydney Elise never existed, that she had been completely erased from history. However, I can still remember being her, but I no longer sense her within me. For a normal regeneration, I would imagine Time Lords would still be able to sense their previous selves within their new, fresh body, but this doesn’t seem to be the case for me. This could only mean one thing: Sydney Elise is gone, dead. Forever.

Because of this, I feel more alien than ever.

For the next several hours, I continue to sob uncontrollably in my pillow, long past sunset. I am so overwhelmed with emotion that it’s hard to breathe, both hearts feeling like they’re about to burst out of my chest. I suppose Mother Nature feels the same way as me (albeit about something completely different), as it begins to heavily rain outside, large droplets slamming against the window noisily. A funny coincidence that the worst possible weather would fall on the worst day ever, but it is nowhere close to humorous.

Why? I say in my head in anger to no one, but also everyone, particularly my bio-parents. Why did you make me become this? Why did you turn me into an alien, someone who’s not human? What could you possibly hope to gain from doing this to me? Did you think turning me into this would make me hate you? If so, it worked; you got what you wanted. I do hate you. Because of you, I am nothing.

This was all my parents’ fault, particularly my father’s. Shortly after I was born, he gave me up to be raised as someone—something—I wasn’t. He abandoned me, practically throwing me out on the streets and leaving me with nothing to tell me what and who I am. Because of him—that ‘Doctor’—I am living this sick, bizarre, alien life, and I hate it. I hate him. Doctors are supposed to heal and make things better, but he has done the complete opposite with my life. I will never forgive him for this. I feel almost embarrassed to be the daughter of someone as cruel and careless as he.

I glance over at the small box that my guardians left for me that was originally from my bio-parents, and I greatly consider taking it, throwing it outside, and destroying it forever, as I want absolutely nothing to do with them, but my curiosity ultimately ends up getting the better of me. Wiping my eyes dry, I grab the box and untie the ribbon that keeps it sealed. I lift the lid to reveal what looks like a gold-colored flashlight of sorts, with large prongs surrounding a green crystal at its tip. Underneath that is a silver necklace with its front face inlaid with unusual circular symbols, like otherworldly hieroglyphs. There is also a small handwritten note along with the two objects. I take the note, unfold it, and read quietly:

My dear Nova,

If you are reading this, then you have finally come of age and have most likely been told the truth about what and who you really are (or you have likely found everything out for yourself, and if so, well done, you). I would imagine you are confused and a bit scared as well. And that’s okay. Or, at least, I assume that’s okay. It’s been a long time since I thought of myself as “different”—twelve-hundred years to be exact, but that’s a story for another time. This story is about you, my special daughter, whose heart(s) will forever be seared onto mine.  

I say “heart(s)” because I’m not sure if, by now, you have gone through something called Regeneration. It is something that we Time Lords (yes, that is what you are as well) go through when it comes time for us to “pass on,” in other words, change our physical bodies to look completely different from the previous one(s). Notice I used a “(s)” again; that will be important later. Not to worry, Nova. Regeneration is a difficult time for all of us (and if you think about it, humans can do this as well, with the way their bodies change as they grow older, but not really), and it can also be agonizingly painful, but on the plus side, it’s not something you have to do on a daily basis. You may go through it at least once every few centuries or so. Trust me, I’ve had to go through the process at least ten times. Anyway, it is during your first regeneration that your new body will most likely contain a second heart, which is perfectly normal for us, I assure you. You will also keep that second heart in future regenerations (unfortunately, you can't retro-regenerate back into a past incarnation; trust me, I already tried), depending on how many you have, which you should have at least twelve of, so don’t go wasting regenerations all willy-nilly. In fact, don’t regenerate at all; better to keep them all so they last. I tried doing that during my last life, but I couldn’t hold it back for long. Oh well. Better luck next time, I suppose.

Now, on to a new topic, which is probably the most important one of the lot and is also the main reason why I am writing this letter. You’ve probably been told long before you found out you were not as “normal” as you thought you were that your mother and I had to give you up for adoption to keep you safe, and I want to tell you that we did it for a good reason. Our enemies, the Silence, have been plotting to kidnap you and train you to kill me (your father), just as they have done with your mother long ago. Although she wasn’t your mother back then. Not yet. At the time, she nearly succeeded in killing me with a poison from the Judas Tree (which is very lethal to Time Lords and is something that disables regeneration, so I would stay well away from it if I were you), but she broke free from her conditioning by the Silence and saved my life by sacrificing something very precious—her Time Lord abilities. Your mother, the love of my lives, River Song, is the bravest woman I have ever known (of course, long after she tried to kill me, and many times before that; it’s complicated), and I hope you, my Nova, will grow to be just as brave and beautiful as she. 

As a “coming of age” gift (or rather, two gifts, as you have a gift from each of us; although both are really from me), we are bestowing you with a locket from my home-world of Gallifrey. This was a gift I was given from my guardians when I came of age (again, a story for another time), but now I am giving it to you to keep with you always as a reminder of where you truly come from and the life you will lead. As another gift, I am giving you an exact copy of my sonic screwdriver, which is a handy tool to use in any situation (of course, not just for screwing in screws), whether you are stuck in a tight place and need to get out, or you’re holding a terrifying monster at bay. The key to using it is to point and think, and it’ll do whatever you want it to. Remember: POINT AND THINK, and always remember to keep it with you at all times, because it can save your life. I can’t tell you how many times it has saved mine, because I have honestly lost count. That’s what happens when you get to be over a thousand years old. You tend to lose track of everything, including your own birthday. You will eventually get there one day, most likely when I’m gone, as I don’t have much time left to live. Spoilers. 

Now, you are most likely wondering if you’ll ever meet your true parents in person. Unfortunately, it is uncertain whether we’ll meet again. It could be we might never meet again, or we might see each other again quite soon. Only time will tell. 

Whatever happens, Nova, however long and however far we are in time and space from you, know that your mother and I love you more than you will ever know, and there is nothing in the entire universe, not even a Dalek, that will stop us from loving you. You are seared onto both of our hearts always.

Have a good and long life, my sweet, bright Nova.

The Doctor

After I finish reading the note, I can’t help but feel even angrier. My father—who I now know is the mysterious ‘Doctor’—abandoned me, and now he sent me this note as, what, an apology? Yeah right, I scoff in my head. He doesn’t deserve to give an apology after what he did. Then again, he said in his letter that he gave me up “for a good reason” by protecting me from some enemy of theirs called the ‘Silence,’ whoever they are. Of course, when there is danger targeting one’s family, his/her main goal is to protect them, no matter what, so the wisest thing to do is send whoever is most vulnerable as far away from the danger as possible so they don’t get hurt, and this was exactly what my bio-parents did to me.

A sense of appreciation suddenly washes over me. My bio-parents sent me these things as a way to show me that they still care for me, even after they gave me up. The Doctor even admitted that he and my mother won’t stop loving me, which is, ironically, something my guardians always told me. Maybe I don’t have to hate him much for that, but a part of me still hates him for giving me up without an explanation. Then again, according to his letter, he did provide an explanation (as brief as it was), but he made me wait eighteen years to discover it.

However, despite everything, I also feel slight suspicion toward my bio-father. I hardly know anything about this guy, and yet he wants me to believe that he can be trusted, as well as loved, by everyone he touches, including myself. I’m not really sure what to think about him, or really anything about my true origins, but I know that just balling all my thoughts and feelings within myself isn’t going to get me anywhere. The only way to better organize my thoughts and get my feelings under control (as well as my hearts, because they feel as if they’re running a marathon) is to talk to someone, and who better than ‘The Girl Who Always Knows What to Say to Make Humans and Non-Humans Happy.’ She is now a part of my secret, after all; plus, she has a right to know my true identity, since we’ve been best friends since the First Grade.

Setting the box from my bio-parents aside, I immediately call Hazel on my phone. After she answers, I ask her if she’s busy, to which she says ‘no’ and that she’s actually home alone, with her parents out at a concert in Salina and her brother out with friends for the night. She then comments on how upset I sound, to which I respond by briefly explaining how I can’t be at home right now because something happened between me and my guardians, and there is something important that I need to talk to her about, which involves my secret. I then ask if it’s cool if I crash for the night at her house, and Hazel says ‘yes.’ I tell her I would have to wait for my guardians to go to bed, as I don’t want them to know where I’m going. I convince her that I will explain everything to her later, and I hang up shortly after.

Three hours later, just before midnight, my guardians finally go to bed, and I quietly sneak out of the house with my overnight bag and into the stormy night. Before I left, something in my gut told me to put the locket with the strange circular symbols over my neck, which I did. I even bring my unusual flashlight-looking thing with me, as I figure Hazel might help me figure out how it works. Despite the bad weather, I don’t take one of my guardians’ cars, as I don’t want to draw any suspicion to myself, as well as to not let them follow me. Not that it really matters, as even if they do discover that I am gone, the first place they’ll go will be Hazel’s house; but I’m not planning to be gone for long (just one night), although a small part of me wishes I’ll be gone much longer.

“Wow! You walked all the way here in the rain?” Hazel says, shocked, after she lets me into her house.

“I couldn’t drive here, knowing my parents would just follow me,” I explain as I take off my rain jacket and hang it on the coat rack by the door. “Of course, it wouldn’t matter, because even if they didn’t know where I went, this would be the place they’d look first.”

“You’re not running away, are you?” Hazel asks suspiciously as we walk into her living room and collapse on the couch. “From what you just said, it sounds like you’re running away.”

“Yes…” I admit, but then think better. “No…” I sigh, not knowing how to explain the thoughts and feelings running around each other in my head like a vortex spinning out of control. “It’s complicated. The truth is, I want to run away from everything. This secret…this life.”

“Why?” Hazel asks, concerned. “Syd, please talk to me.”

“That’s not my name anymore,” I can’t help mumbling under my breath in anger.  

“What?” Hazel frowns, puzzled.

“Sydney Elise is no longer my name,” I confess. “In fact, it’s never been my name. Sydney Elise, she’s…” I pause, then admit regretfully, “She’s dead. In fact, she never existed. Turns out that name was just a cover-up in place of my true name all along.”

“So what is your true name then?” she asks curiously.

I glance at her. “I think you know. I’ve told you for years that I thought she was my sister, but she was never that… She was always me.”

“Are you talking about Nova?” Hazel says in shock. “That’s your real name?”

I nod with a heavy sigh. “Yeah. Nova Susan Song, to be exact. Although, I don’t know where the names come from. ‘Susan’ might be someone I’m named after, but ‘Nova,’ I’m not sure. I read that a nova is the birth of a new star, or sometimes a star’s explosion, which they call a ‘supernova,’ but I don’t know which one I’m named after. And ‘Song,’ of course, is my birth mother’s last name. I guess, now that that’s cleared up, you’ll have to start calling me ‘Nova’ now.”

Hazel then shrugs seemingly carelessly. “That’s fine.”

“Really?” I frown, puzzled. How can she be so calm after a big revelation like this? I wondered. Surely, she’d get the sense that she lost a friend today—her old friend Sydney Elise, who’s now been replaced with a total stranger still occupying her friend’s body.

“Yeah!” Hazel admits. “To be honest, I think the name ‘Nova’ fits you much better than ‘Sydney.’ So what if you no longer go by ‘Sydney Elise?’ Just because you’ve changed names doesn’t mean your whole identity has changed.”

Wow! I can’t believe the words that have left Hazel’s mouth. Obviously she’s still willing to be my friend, regardless of what’s happened earlier today, but I still can’t help but feel a great loss clinging tightly to me, refusing to let go.

“That’s just it,” I confess. “I feel like it has changed, but even more than a typical regeneration would. With regeneration, only my physical appearance and parts of my personality change; but this time I feel like everything has changed, including my name and identity. Now that I know my true name, and now that everything about my non-humanness has been confirmed, it’s like a part of me—the part of me that defined me as ‘Sydney Elise,’ the part of me that was human—has died; it’s like she no longer exists within me. It’s like in Ghostbusters, ‘There is no Dana, only Zuul,’ except in my case it’s ‘There is no Sydney, only Nova;’ but I don’t even know who ‘Nova’ is, or who she’s supposed to be. Apparently, Nova was never supposed to be human, but that’s how I was raised; that was how Sydney was raised. Now that I am no longer Sydney, I don’t know who I am anymore, or even what I am.” I am suddenly overwhelmed with emotion again, and I sob uncontrollably, burying my face in my hands. “I’m scared, Haze. I’m really, really scared.”

Hazel immediately wraps her arms around me in a tight hug. “I’m sorry, Syd—Nova,” she says, catching herself saying the wrong name. In fact, everything about my life has never felt more wrong than this.

“What does this mean for my future?” I wonder aloud. “What am I supposed to do, now that everything’s been confirmed?” Do I leave home and never return? Do I turn myself in to Area 51, or whoever deals with illegal aliens, and have them decide what to do with me? If I didn’t know better, I’d suggest going back home and pretending like this is all just a dream, but there is absolutely no point, knowing this is all real.  

“I don’t know,” Hazel says regretfully. “I guess…the only thing you can do is continue keeping this secret.”

I look up at her incredulously. “Why? I can’t just keep the secret forever; everyone’s gonna find out about it at some point. Then what, I get captured and experimented on for the rest of my life? Or worse, hunted and killed? Would my bio-parents even come to rescue me…or will they leave me to suffer ‘til I’m out of regenerations? If Earth is no longer our home, is there even another world to go back to? What if our home-world has been destroyed, and Earth is the only place we have left, but we can no longer live here, where else would we go?” I pause, fearing the worst. “Where else would I go?” I can’t imagine being forcefully kicked out of a place I call home, just because I’m different…because I’m not human.

Hazel smiles. “No place where I won’t be with you.”

I frown. “Really?” Would she really come with me, even with the risk of getting caught being in cahoots with an alien?

She shrugs. “Yeah! Remember when I said, ‘if you go down, I go down with you?’ I still haven’t changed my mind about that, and honestly, I don’t think I ever will.”

“But you said that to Sydney, not Nova,” I say with a raised eyebrow.

“True,” Hazel agrees, “but I said that to Nova as well. You may have gone by a different name your whole life, but one thing that’s never changed is that you’re still my friend. Friends always stick together, for better or worse.”

I smile too, chuckling, “Even ‘til death do us part?” I seriously doubt she’d agree to that.

“Uh…sure,” she says hesitantly. “Why not?”

“Good!” I say excitedly. “How does London sound?”

Hazel scoffs. “You’re serious? That’s, like, the most invaded city on Earth. Why would we possibly want to live there?”

“Well…maybe not to live there, per se,” I explain; although, the idea doesn’t sound so bad. “More like go to school there. I’ve applied to pretty much every university there and have gotten accepted into…well, all of them. The only thing I have to do is pick one and enroll in it. Imagine us being roommates…going to school with Brits. I’ll bet every boy will be fawning over us, just for being American girls. Won’t that be so cool, having a British boyfriend?” Of course, getting a British boyfriend isn’t ideal for me, given my non-humanness, but it could be ideal for Hazel. She always seems to be into all things foreign, but then again, so am I, but not in that case.   

Hazel shrugs uncertainly. “Well…I do find the British accent to be kinda sexy, especially from the men.”

“So you’ll come with me then?” I ask hopefully.

“Sure,” she says suspiciously, “but I’m getting the sense you don’t want to go to London just for school. You want to go mainly because you think you’ll find your parents there, don’t you?”

“No, of course not!” I lie, but then I notice Hazel’s doubtful look, and I think better. “Okay, fine, shoot me. Yes, I mainly want to go to London to find my bio-parents. But you need to understand how important this is to me. They gave me up to protect me from…something, and I need to know what that ‘something’ is; more than that, I need to find out who and what I am, and my bio-parents have those answers. In fact, they’re the only ones with those answers.” For some reason, I have the sense that my guardians weren’t told the entire truth when my bio-parents gave me up to them that night.

“Okay, I get it,” Hazel nods, then sighs. “I just…I don’t want to just go to London blindly, not knowing what to expect there and run into whatever aliens will invade the place next.”

“We won’t,” I assure her confidently. “I’ll protect you with my martial arts skills. You obviously haven’t seen them in action yet. Granted, they can get very violent…” I immediately pause, thinking back on the memory of one of my final tests when I was told that I wasn’t going to pass unless I put at least one person in hospital, which greatly appalled me. I couldn’t believe that my instructor, Master Kang, was telling me to hurt someone enough to put them in hospital; of course, the people I was fighting against were fighting as if they were trying to kill me, and I realized I had to fight back in the same way. Luckily, after that test, I hadn’t had to fight like that again, and I hope to never fight like that in the future either. God, I hated that guy. “But I’ll try to keep it PG,” I add with a ‘what could go wrong’ smile.

But Hazel was still seeming hesitant about the idea of moving overseas. “Okay. That’s kinda another thing. What if we’re separated when something bad happens? How will you protect me then?”

Geez, I sigh, rolling my eyes, why is she acting like a total buzzkill? “Come on, Haze,” I say out loud. “Where’s your sense of adventure? It’ll be fun; a whole new country to explore. It’s mostly filled with English-speakers anyway, just with a different accent. What’s the big deal?”

Hazel sighs in seeming defeat. “Alright, maybe it’ll be interesting to go to school there, just as long as we don’t run into crazy aliens along the way.”

“Unless they’re Time Lord,” I say to add to her declaration, and also to make clear that my species isn’t ‘crazy’ as in ‘dangerous,’ like the other aliens that have invaded our planet over the last eighteen years.    

“Right,” Hazel nods in agreement. Then she asks curiously, “What if you do actually find your bio-parents, what will you do?”

I suddenly pause, a feeling of uncertainty washing over me. “I…don’t know. I mainly want to find them to get the information I want from them, but if after I find them, and they insist on taking me back to whatever and wherever our home-world is…” I sigh. “I’m not sure if I want to go back…if the world still exists. Maybe, like in the Sci-Fi movies, my bio-parents left their home-world because it was either being taken over or destroyed, and they came to Earth to hide out or claim the planet as their new home. But if their home-world still exists, and we as a family decide to return to it…I’m not sure if I want to go. I mean, Earth has been my home for…well, ever, and I don’t want to leave this place. I don’t want to leave you.” I can’t imagine never being able to return to Earth, never being able to see my best friend again. I wonder if this is something my father has dealt with over the centuries—twelve, to be exact, which is unbelievable. I wonder if I’ll have to deal with it when I’m older.

Hazel raises an eyebrow. “If that ends up being the case, are you sure you want to find them?” It’s like she senses that I have changed my mind about finding them, which I kinda have, but at the same time I haven’t really.  

“I don’t know,” I shrug, shaking my head. “I don’t even know what I want anymore. I guess…instead of finding them, I’ll just wait for them to find me. Although, I’m pretty sure my bio-mom knows where I am; she’s probably been following me for years.” Of course she has, hence why I’ve been seeing her throughout my life.

“So, if you see the curly-haired woman again, you’ll just…run away?” Hazel asks skeptically.

“No,” I say a little hesitantly, not knowing whether I’m lying or not. “More like I’ll just…run in the opposite direction and hope she doesn’t follow me.”

“Uh…isn’t that the same thing as running away?” She says, clearly not buying my half-lie.

I sigh in defeat. “Yeah, I guess it is. Fine, yes. If I see any curly-haired women, or dudes in tweed jackets and bow ties, or even blue police boxes, I’ll run away.” Suddenly thinking about the police box, I say, “Although, I’m still curious about that one blue box we saw that day at the arcade, as well as the one I’d seen in my dreams, which I’m pretty sure is the same box. I’m ninety-percent positive that box was bigger on the inside, which should be impossible, but maybe for that particular box, it’s normal; which, I guess, makes sense, because it has to be that size in order to hold all those mysteries inside, right?”

“Right, I guess,” Hazel says uncertainly, not quite understanding what I am saying, since she obviously hasn’t been having the same dream as me. “What’s that necklace you’re wearing? I meant to ask about it earlier,” she says, changing the subject, pointing to my locket that I had totally forgotten I was wearing around my neck.

Suddenly remembering, I say, fiddling with it in my hand, “Oh, it’s from my bio-parents; they gave it to me as a ‘coming of age’ gift. Not in person, obviously; my guardians actually held onto it. It’s actually a locket, but there’re no pictures in it. See?” I unclick the locket to show the interior is empty. At the time I unclicked it before I left my house, I expected to see the smiling faces of my bio-parents inside, but there was nothing. I guess they wanted me to put my own pictures in it; of course, that’s not going to happen for a while, since I haven’t met them yet.

“It’s got interesting circular symbols on it,” Hazel points out with amazement. “What are those, hieroglyphs of some kind?”

“I think so,” I shrug, tracing the symbols absentmindedly with my fingers. “I’ve never seen anything like them before. I’ve certainly never seen anything like them anywhere on Earth. It came with a letter written from my bio-dad. He said the locket was given to him by his guardians when he came of age as well, when he was still living on his home-world called Gallifrey. I’m assuming the symbols mean something in their language.”

“That language being…what, Gallifreyan?” Hazel guesses with a raised eyebrow.

I shrug. “I guess, yeah. These symbols could translate as something like ‘love,’ ‘peace,’ ‘hope,’ or something else.” I then reach in my bag and pull out the strange gold flashlight-looking object. “He also gave me this.” I hand it to her, and she examines it in her hand.

“What is it?” she asks suspiciously. “Some kind of flashlight?”

“I don’t know,” I say as Hazel gives the object back to me. “In the letter, my bio-dad called it a ‘sonic screwdriver;’ he’s got one of the same exact design. He said it can be used in any situation, not just for screwing in screws.”

“What does that mean exactly?” Hazel asks, puzzled. “It can do more than just screw in screws?”

I shrug again. “I guess so. This could be something alien, made from Time Lord technology. I bet it can do a lot of really cool things. Here, let’s test it on something. What’s something that’s got screws in it?”

Hazel suggests testing it out on a light switch, as it has screws that can be easily replaced and not screw anything up (pun intended). Remembering my bio-father’s instruction to “point and think,” I point the screwdriver’s end with the green crystal to one of the screws holding the light switch plate to the wall and press the button, making it emit a loud buzzing sound and its crystal glow brightly. Ignoring the ear-piercing screeching, I give the command in my head: loosen. Sure enough, the screw literally unscrews on its own and falls to the floor with a small ping.

“Whoa!” Hazel exclaims as I pick up the fallen screw and replace it back on the light switch plate, this time giving the command to the otherworldly screwdriver: tighten. The screw then twists itself back into the wall with no harm done. Hazel exclaims again, “That’s so cool! It can actually screw in and unscrew screws! What else can it do?”

“I don’t know,” I shrug. "That noise is incredibly loud though." I then glance up at the light overhead. Since we are messing with the lights, we might as well mess with them some more. “Let’s see if it can turn off and on lights without using a switch.” I then point the screwdriver at the light bulb and think the command: turn off. Instead of simply dimming itself, the bulb suddenly explodes in a shower of sparks and shards. “Fudgeknuckle!” I cry in shock as I shield myself from the broken shards that fly at us.

“Dude!” Hazel cries with equal shock. “You exploded the freaking light bulb!”

“Sorry!” I immediately apologize as I run into her kitchen to find the dustpan and broom. “I promise, I thought ‘turn off’ and not ‘explode!’" I groan. "Clearly I need more practice with this thing!”

Hazel chuckled in an obvious manner. “Yeah, no kidding!” She volunteers to sweep the broken shards while I search for a new bulb to replace the one that exploded.

As Hazel cleans up the mess, and while I climb up the ladder to replace the light bulb, I ask jokingly, “Hey, Haze, how many Time Lords does it take to screw in a light bulb?”

She pauses her sweeping and looks up at me strangely, asking with a frown, “What kind of a question is that?”

I shake my head a little disappointedly. “Nothing. I just thought it sounded funny. Never mind.”

Changing the subject while she resumes sweeping, Hazel asks curiously, “So what else did you get from your bio-parents? Or was that it?”

I shake my head and say, “No, I think that was it. Although, in the letter, my dad did explain, at least a bit, about why they gave me up.”

Dumping the broken shards into the trash, Hazel asks, “Okay, what’s their story?”

After I finish replacing the light bulb and climb down the ladder, I say, “I didn’t quite fully understand it, but he said they had given me up to protect me from an enemy called the Silence. I’m not exactly sure what they are, but apparently, they wanted to kidnap me to train me to kill my father, which sounds completely crazy. A long time ago, before my parents fell in love and married, my mother was trained to kill him, and she succeeded at one point. She killed him with some poison that was very lethal to Time Lords that could stop one from regenerating, but she ultimately saved him by giving up all her Time Lord abilities, including regeneration.”

“Wow!” Hazel says with a raised eyebrow. “That’s some twisted relationship. So your father married his own assassin?”

“Apparently,” I shrug. “I can’t really believe it either. I mean, who knows whether my mother had totally gotten rid of the Silence’s influence over her. If not, maybe she’ll start coming after me next—her own daughter! How insane is that? Of course, that was what the Silence wanted—and possibly still want—to do to me.” I thought this sounded ludicrous as a thought, but now it sounds even more so when said out loud. How could a parent want to kill her own child?

“You’re no assassin!” Hazel says incredulously.

I shake my head with equal disbelief. “No, and I never want to be. Apparently, I come from a family of them; or rather, just one assassin, that being my mother. I don’t want to be anything like her…what she was.”

Just the very thought makes me suddenly fear for my guardians’ life, as well as Hazel’s. If the so-called ‘Silence’ are truly coming after me, I don’t want them to go after my friends and family either. If it’s true that now that I have come of age, that I’ll start attracting more danger to myself even when I’m not using my powers, then maybe it’s time to go solo.

Maybe it’s time to leave my past life—Sydney’s life—behind forever.

Chapter Text

For two whole months, I don’t talk much to my guardians; if at all, it’s only small-talk. I mean, after spending my entire life lying to me about my true identity, you can understand why they are being given the silent treatment; of course, this is something that can’t be easily forgiven. So, that’s how I’ve been spending my summer vacation.

Of course, whenever I do feel the need to talk, I just call Hazel and spend the day at her house (or she’d come to mine, and we’d avoid my guardians as much as possible). Or, if she’s busy, I just spend the day talking with myself; although, oftentimes, even when talking to oneself can be extremely helpful, it gives me an earache after a while, and I get bored of hearing nothing but my own voice responding to everything I say. I’m sure whenever my guardians hear me talking to myself through the walls, they think I’ve gone mad, and they may be right; but if I had the nerve to actually talk to them, I would say to them, ‘Well, who else would you talk to if the people you don’t want to talk to are the only ones in the house?’ If they knew what I was going through (which they should; I mean, they had ruined my life, after all), they’d understand my point. That’s what sucks about being an only child; you don’t really have anyone else to talk to about your problems. If only I had a sibling—a Time Lord sibling—my life wouldn’t be so complicated.

Of course, trying to figure out how the stupid “sonic screwdriver” works isn’t really easing my frustration either, especially when it looks absolutely nothing like a screwdriver, nor did it come in the box with a manual with fully detailed instructions (“POINT AND THINK” isn’t exactly anything specific. Point at what? Think what?). Besides, how is a screwdriver going to help me anyway? I can’t just “unscrew” my complicated life and then “screw” it back together in a less complicated way; unfortunately, that’s not how life works, and that’s the most frustrating thing of all. I then realize that this is the sort of thing that teenagers go through all the time, so maybe I’m not a total alien, after all; maybe Time Lords felt this same thing when they came of age too.

In any case, this doesn’t change my mind about leaving my human life behind. As much as I don’t want to leave my family, no matter how angry I am at them, my leaving them is what is best for them, if my theory that I’ll be attracting more danger to myself, now that I am this age, is true. I don’t want any harm to come to them, because if I stay, that’s what’s going to happen, and it’ll be my fault.

During these two months, I plan my leave in secret. I don’t tell my guardians, not even Hazel. In fact, I try to spend as much time with my best friend as ‘humanly’ possible, knowing this is going to be the last time I’ll ever see her again. During one of her (unbeknownst to her) “final” sleepovers at my house, I lie to her, saying I’ve actually decided to stay in town for Community College instead of going straight overseas to London to study abroad. Knowing she’d just follow me wherever I go—especially when she promised once upon a time that if I go down, she goes down with me—this is the only way to make her believe I am staying.

Surprisingly, the trick seems to work; she seems to take the bait immediately, without checking if it is safe first. Once that happens, I instantly feel guilty about lying to her, but I remind myself that this is what is best for her as well. I am saving her life by lying to her; and if, in the future, she ever finds out that a certain danger has come after me and only me, she’ll thank me for leaving her behind, since she, nor my guardians, will no longer be targeted.  

Come July, I’ve already decided on a university to attend, including a major and classes. My father-guardian always said I seemed to have a real knack for figuring out how things work, especially in the IT world, so I choose Computer Science as a major, which involves learning different computer languages to code, and make websites, and stuff. Of course, I don’t reveal the fact that I am actually studying abroad in London at University College London (or UCL for short), which is located slap-bang in the middle of the city; so, needless to say, when I have free time from studying, I can go pretty much anywhere in any direction and run into a major tourist spot, such as Buckingham Palace, Parliament, or the Tower of London. I can honestly say that I am stoked about this experience, as I have always wanted to go to London since I was a kid.

Come to think of it, I’d have to have money to get there, as well as pay for tuition and stuff. As much as I hate to admit it, that’s where my mom’s purse comes in. Technically, it won’t be stealing, since all three of us share the account, but by the time I’ve transferred the money into my personal account (which will only be a few thousand dollars which will be later converted into the European currency), I’m going to delete myself from their account and go on my own. That way, they can’t track how much money I’m spending and where I am spending it, knowing they’d come and find me once they find out.

But they can’t find me, knowing they’d get themselves killed by doing so, which also defeats the purpose of me leaving in the first place. I am leaving them to keep them safe from me, and there’s no guarantee that they’ll be safe if they find me, same for Hazel.

Come mid-July, I find out that my guardians are going to a concert in Salina, Kansas, which is a three-hour drive west of where we live, and, of course, that’s the day I plan to move out. Before the specific day, I book my flight overseas (two flights, to be exact, since there’s no direct flight from here to Heathrow), using the money I “stole” from Mom. On the actual day, I print out my plane tickets and hide them in my dresser until my guardians leave for their own trip.

However, before they leave, I overhear them talking downstairs, and they sound as if they’re having second thoughts, which sets my nerves on edge. I seriously hope they’re not, because it would be very difficult to lie about why I am bringing a fully packed suitcase to Hazel’s for a “one-night sleepover.” To be honest, I’m surprised they’re thinking of going out at all, since they’ve never left me home alone before, for fear of my powers attracting danger to the house (clearly they have the same theory as me, I think, which is another reason why I’m leaving), which is why they’ve been so overprotective of me all these years, even when I’ve taken years of Martial Arts classes. Still, this doesn’t stop me from opening my bedroom door and listening in to their conversation.

“Are you sure we should go?” Mom asks Dad nervously. “I just…I don’t want to leave her alone in the house even for this long. What if she’s asleep, but she’s kidnapped before she wakes up? Or worse…”

“I’m sure she’ll be fine,” Dad assures her. “We put her in martial arts classes for this very reason. It’s only for one night. Besides, she’s a big girl now; she can look out for herself.” He then exclaims, “Hey, there she is, our little college supernova!” He’s been calling me by that nickname ever since they spilled the beans on me about my true identity, and I honestly don’t think it sticks to me all that well, even though my regeneration energy can be very ‘explosive’ like a supernova, which I guess is where the nickname comes from, and because I may actually be named after a supernova.

When he said that, I honestly didn’t realize before then that I had come downstairs until it was too late. I then realize that now that I am down here, I must have an excuse for coming down in the first place, so I say the very first thing that comes to mind. “Hey. I…uh…actually just came down to…see you guys off.” It’s not the greatest excuse, but luckily they seem to buy it.

“See us off?” Mom says as if it’s a joke. “Oh, sweetie, you don’t have to do that.” She then pulls me in for a hug, which I awkwardly accept, as she continues, “We’re not going to be gone that long. It’s just for one night, and then we’ll be back tomorrow. Don’t act like you’re never going to see us again.”

That last statement sends a wave of guilt rushing up my spine. If you only knew, I think in my head before saying out loud, “No, of course not.” Even to my own ears, it sounds dead like a lie. I then release the hug and say as calmly as I can muster, “Go. Have fun.” Clearly they aren’t aware that this is goodbye forever, but I make this sound like a casual goodbye, regardless, like I will actually see them again the next day.

“Are you sure?” Mom asks a little hesitantly, like she senses that this isn’t in fact a normal ‘see you later’ kind of goodbye. “You’ll be home alone for the entire night. You won’t have any protection if someone tries to come after you.”

Hoping to steer her away from that suspicion, I say, “Mom, I’ll be fine. You forget, I was top of my class in both high school and Martial Arts. Like Dad said, I can look out for myself now. I’ve grown up; I don’t need protecting anymore.”

“We know,” Dad says as he pulls me into a hug this time. “You’ll still be our baby girl, no matter what. We love you so much.”

“I love you too,” I admit honestly. “You both are seared onto my hearts always.” I honestly don’t know what got me to say that last bit, but I remember my bio-father saying those exact words in his letter to me, so I guess I unconsciously decided to say those same words to my guardians. I am going to leave them, after all—possibly for good—and there’s a high chance that I will not get a second chance to say it. Just this thought makes my eyes water with tears, but I fight them back as much as I can; for if they see me cry, they’ll immediately know something is up.

“Wow!” Dad exclaims, impressed with my choice of words. “Strong words there. I guess it makes sense. ‘Two hearts’ means ‘double the love,’ right?”

Knowing it makes perfect sense to me, I just nod and chuckle, “Right.”

Dad suddenly releases me from our hug and looks me dead in the eye. “Hey,” he says in a calm but stern voice, “your mother and I are sorry we lied to you about your identity, but you need to understand we—”

“No, I understand,” I say, shaking my head. “You did it for my own good; you did it to protect me. If you hadn’t used a different name for me, I probably wouldn’t be here today, or I wouldn’t have lived for as long as I have. It’s okay, I forgive you.” I then smile warmly. “Besides, that’s what true parents do, right? They do whatever it takes to keep their children safe, whether they’re adopted or not.” This last statement instantly makes me think of my bio-parents, knowing that they kept me safe from the Silence by giving me up when I was first born. Now, I am going to do the same thing to my guardians—leave them as a way of keeping them safe.  

“Right,” Dad says, hugging me again. “You’ve always had a bright spirit, Nova. We are so proud of you. I know you’ve been angry with us over the last few months, which is why you haven’t spoken to us in a long time, but let us make it up to you. After tonight, we’ll start spending much more time with you—take you to your favorite restaurants, watch your favorite movies, and maybe even find a weekend to go on a trip together as a family, and you pick the location. What do you say?”

His words make me feel guiltier than ever, and I can’t help but think, Thanks, Dad, now you’re breaking my hearts, knowing these things are just wishes—wishes that will never be fulfilled.

And what’s worse is that they don’t know it, and it breaks my hearts even more.

The only thing I know how to say, even though it isn’t the full truth, is, “That sounds wonderful. I would like that very much.” Of course, if I was human, I would’ve agreed to do those things in a heartbeat, but since I am not human, I can’t agree to them like I want to…not completely.

Not at all.

This talk must have convinced Mom that everything would be fine because she kisses me on the forehead and says, “See you tomorrow, sweetie. Call us if something happens, and we’ll come straight home.”

“Thanks,” I say, shaking my head, “but I don’t think anything will happen tonight.” Besides me leaving you behind forever, I can’t help thinking in my head, which only brings more tears to my eyes.

“Love you!” Dad calls before he gets in the car with Mom as they prepare to (unknowingly) leave me behind forever too.

“Love you too!” I call back as they close the car doors and pull out of the driveway. As they drive off, I murmur softly, “Goodbye,” before I go back inside the house, finally allowing my tears to spill as I get back to work on packing my bags, knowing that at this point I will never see my true parents ever again.

Luckily, I still have a bit of time before I head to the airport to catch my first flight to Chicago, Illinois, and then from there to Heathrow in London. Although, it isn’t much time (about three hours until Boarding Time), so there is no time for tears at this very moment. I still have much to do before I leave, including writing letters to explain the truth about why I am leaving, so I need to focus.

Once I finish packing, I write a letter to my guardians, writing:

Dear Mom and Dad,

If you are reading this, then I have long since left the country, and I regret to tell you that I will not be telling you where I’m going, nor when I will be coming back, because I won’t be coming back. Now that I have come of age, there is a high chance that my powers will grow stronger and more powerful, and I fear that I will start attracting more danger to myself much more often, whether I use my powers or not, and those dangers may come after you as well if I stay. I don’t want either of you to get hurt because of me, which is why I am leaving you for good. I am sorry, but this is what is best for you as well as myself. The farther I am from you, the safer you will be from me and from anything or anyone else that may target you to get to me. In fact, once I find my bio-parents, it may be best that we leave Earth entirely.

Despite being adopted, being your daughter has been the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I don’t know where I’d be or what would’ve happened to me if you hadn’t agreed to raise me for as long as you have. No matter where I am, I will always love you, and I will never stop loving you. You both are seared onto my hearts always. 

Have a good life.

Nova

P.S. Also, I may have stolen a few (‘few’ actually being an understatement) thousand dollars from Mom’s account so I could at least afford my travel overseas, as well as tuition and other things (sorry, Mom). I also disconnected my account from our family account (and also so you can’t track what and where I am spending), so I’m officially on my own now. 

I also write a letter to Hazel, the only similarity being the first paragraph. For the rest of the letter, I tell her that she’s been the greatest friend anyone could ask for, and that I have always thought of her as a sister to me, despite us being from two different families and species. I end her letter by telling her that I will miss her terribly, no matter where I am, and that she will also have a place in both of my hearts alongside my guardians.

Once I finish her letter, I tape my guardians’ letter to the refrigerator, knowing that to be the best place they’ll see it once they get home. Next, I stop by Hazel’s house and deliver her letter in her mailbox, hoping that she’ll receive it after I am gone. Finally, I return to my own house, gather up my bags, and walk out the front door.   

Before I completely leave the property, I turn back to the house and whisper, with tearful eyes, the one thing my bio-father told me before he gave me up, “I wish it never had to be this way, but it is the only way to keep you guys safe. To keep you safe from me.” Then, I turn away from the house and leave the property for the last time.

Dragging my suitcase and other bags in tow (as well as my guitar case, as there is absolutely no way I am leaving my music behind), I walk to our local park, thinking that to be the safest place to get picked up instead of my house, not knowing whether my Uber driver might actually be trustworthy or not. I share my location with the app, and a black SUV pulls up to the parking lot of our community pool. He immediately asks my name (‘Sydney,’ since I’m not yet comfortable with using my real name around strangers), and after I confirm, he helps with getting my bags in the trunk, and I tell him to take me to the airport as I get seated in the back seat.

On the way, he is very friendly and talkative with me, asking me general questions, like where I’m travelling, what I’ll be doing there, including whether I’ll be playing in a band (which I don’t) since I have a guitar, and so on. At first, I find it a bit creepy, like he’s asking for specific information, like the exact hotel I’m staying in, or something of that sort, but I just shake off the uneasy feeling and answer as honestly as I can without sounding too paranoid. Granted, I’ve encountered many psychos in my life—two of which had tried, and nearly succeeded, to kill me—so I figure I can’t be too careful, no offense to the driver. As long as he gets me to where I need to be on time, there’s nothing to worry about, right?  

Luckily, he gets me to the airport with an hour to spare. He helps me unload my luggage and even delivers it to the check-in area with me, which is very thoughtful of him. After that, he leaves, and I proceed to the security area and to my designated gate.

The first flight to Chicago is just like every flight I’ve ever been on, which isn’t a surprise. Even as a kid, I’ve always insisted on getting a window seat, because I enjoyed watching the world pass beneath the plane, and I still do. The second the plane lifts off the runway at our local airport, I feel a pang of sadness wash over me. I honestly want to cry, but I hold back the tears, not wanting to be questioned by the passenger sitting next to me, who obviously doesn’t know of my current situation. I then realize that the sadness is actually coming from my missing my family, but I can’t do anything about it now that we’ve taken off. Instead, I put in my earbuds and listen to some music to calm me down, which does the trick.

While waiting at the gate in Chicago for my flight to Heathrow, I suddenly have a feeling like I’m being watched. It’s not from someone dangerous, nor from another Time Lord, but it is definitely from someone whom I feel is familiar to me. I glance around at the other waiting passengers, and no one stands out right away as the person who is watching me, but sitting not too far from me is another teenage girl who looks neither older nor younger than me. She is wearing a lime-green sweatshirt and jeans. Her face is partially obscured by the hood of her sweatshirt, but she appears to be staring down at her sneakers, at least for the moment. For some reason, seeing this girl, I can’t help but think of Hazel, because the girl is wearing the exact same sweatshirt that Hazel owns; I know, because I’ve seen her wear it a thousand times at school and at our sleepovers. At one point, the girl glances up toward my direction, but then she looks back down just as suddenly, like she doesn’t want me seeing her face. A part of me wants to go up and talk to her, thinking that we could be the same age, but I decide to stay put, knowing we are about to board the plane anyway. Maybe we’d have a seat near each other, and I can talk to her then, but for some reason that idea seems to be a longshot. Besides, even if we became really good friends, I don’t want to drag her into my situation either, knowing she’d get hurt.

As much as I hate to admit it, I’m pretty much done with friends. Because of my abilities, I’ll continue attracting danger to myself for as long as I have them, and any ‘friend’ I meet will just end up being targeted by my parents’ enemies, and I will not let that happen, nor let it continue to happen, hence why I’m leaving my guardians and Hazel forever. I’m not going to drag anyone else into this mad, alien life of mine.

This wolf is officially becoming a loner, I declare in my head.

It is about 11pm when the plane takes off, and that’s when I feel more homesick than ever. That exact moment was the moment when we—I—officially left my home country, which means that I am officially on my own…a ‘lone wolf,’ as I now call myself. That other teenage girl I saw earlier, who I know is also somewhere on this plane, hasn’t seemed to have left my mind either. She looked so much like Hazel that if I don’t know any better, I’d say that girl actually is Hazel, but that’s impossible. Just because she dresses seemingly the exact same as Hazel doesn’t mean they’re the same person…are they? I wonder. In any case, it could be I’m seeing ‘Hazel’ there simply because I’m missing her, which I am. I had promised her I’d take her to London with me, but I broke that promise when I lied to her that I was going to be staying in town. I figure if she finds out that I am heading that way right now without her, that might put an end to our friendship, which may be for the best anyway; better to be alone in this mess than drag anybody else into it, as complicated as it already is…as complicated as It’s continuing to become.

To take my mind off of things, and while everyone else on the plane is getting in a comfortable (well, at least as comfortable as one can get on a tightly packed aircraft) sleeping position in their seats, I stare out the window at the starry sky beyond, and I imagine myself with an aircraft of my own, travelling to every star I can see, and what I might find there. Of course, that only exists in Sci-Fi movies, but even if sitting in this plane right now is the closest I’ll ever be to travelling to Outer Space, this is fine with me.

It’s not until about 8am (local time) that we finally arrive in Heathrow Airport. The airport itself is actually quite amazing, especially since I’ve never been to one outside the US before, but I unfortunately don’t have time to explore; better to do that in the city once I get my luggage and settle at the hotel. Unfortunately, I have to catch a taxi into London (as I was unwilling to pay extra for having a chauffeur pick me up), which is a huge hassle, since other people seem to have the same issue as me. Luckily, I catch one before someone else can, and I ask the driver to help me with my luggage as well as take me to the Victor Hotel in the Victoria part of London, which he gladly accepts (although, I’m pretty sure he has to because it’s his job). We exchange pleasantries (he introduces himself as Frank), and we leave the airport, although it takes several minutes because of traffic.

I guess international airports are just as busy as the American ones, I think with a smile, maybe even busier. Of course, this doesn’t bother me one bit, because it’s about the journey and not the destination.

When the main city comes into view, the taxi driver—Frank—literally welcomes me to London, and I can honestly say the sight was literally breathtaking. I mean it because both hearts seemed to stop beating for two minutes straight. I’ve always seen images of London in books, and movies, and stuff, but this right here is a whole new experience for me, because this isn’t just an image…this is the real thing. Frank must’ve noticed my reaction, because he immediately comments that I should be thankful that it isn’t raining (I read it rains a lot in England), otherwise the view of the city wouldn’t be as magnificent, which I agree. Now I know how Dorothy felt when she found herself in the Land of Oz; I am definitely not in Kansas anymore...literally.

A solid hour later, we arrive at The Victor Hotel in Victoria, London, which looks much like 10, Downing Street, just solid white instead of black. Within ten minutes, I check in (with the receptionist also welcoming me to London, calling me ‘Sydney,’ which made me pause for a moment, knowing that the original owner of that name was now dead, but for some reason I couldn’t quite give up the name just yet) and go upstairs to my assigned room. The room is just like any typical hotel room, with a single queen-sized bed and bathroom. This room even has a balcony that I can stand out on, which I do immediately after I throw my bags and guitar case on the bed.

For several minutes, I just stand outside, taking in the sites as well as the cool morning air. I can’t believe I’m in London. I’ve always wanted to come here, even with all the alien invasions that happen here more than any other city on Earth, which I honestly don’t care much about. All that matters is that I am finally here, and nothing is going to change that.

As excited as I am to be here, I can’t help but feel a little sad. Ever since I told Hazel about the idea of coming here, she wanted to come here as well, and I promised her I’d take her one day. Now that I am here, I feel lonelier than ever. If we’d come here together, I think she’d love the view, and she’d want to skip unpacking and immediately go to the nearest tourist attraction without batting an eye.

“Oh, Haze…” I say with a heavy sigh, “I wish you were here. You would love this place. It’s just amazing.”  

Not long after I start unpacking my bags, I receive a phone call from the front lobby. I immediately answer it, and the receptionist explains in a seemingly concerned voice that someone has arrived at the hotel, and this person has asked to see me personally, seeing if she can share the room with me. Those words immediately set off a red flag in my mind, so I respond by saying that I don’t want to share my room with a total stranger, and that it would be best if I come downstairs to meet this person in person first, which the receptionist graciously accepts. I hang up and prepare to go downstairs to meet my mysterious roommate-wannabe. Before I leave the room, however, something tells me to bring my unearthly screwdriver from my bio-father with me; he did say in his letter that he insisted that I carry it with me everywhere I go. Needless to say, I have also taken my locket that came with my screwdriver with me on this trip, thinking of it as like a ‘good luck’ charm, which has never left my neck since the day I was given it.  

The moment I reach the lobby, I scan the area with my eyes, looking for anything and anyone I recognize, all the while inserting my hand in my sweatshirt pocket and wrapping my fingers around the hilt of the screwdriver in preparation to use at any emergency. Although, thinking about it, I’m honestly not sure what I’ll ‘think’ it to do if I have to actually use it; there’s a pretty high chance the image of me holding an unearthly flashlight-looking device aloft like a wizard’s wand would look ridiculous.  

Suddenly, I spot the teenage girl in the lime-green sweatshirt I’d seen at the Chicago airport—the girl who reminded me of Hazel—sitting alone, surrounded by large suitcases at her feet. At first, I find it strange that she’s staying at the same hotel as me, as the odds of that happening are like succeeding in finding a needle in a haystack, and yet she’s sitting right there, clear as day. Despite the bizarre circumstances, I approach the girl anyway. Unlike at the airport, this time her hood is down, and I can partially see her familiar face behind her long brown hair.

“Um…hi,” I say a little nervously to the girl. “I saw you yesterday at the Chicago airport, and I couldn’t help but notice that you’re wearing the exact same sweatshirt that my best fri—”

The girl looks up at me, revealing her face, now more familiar than ever, and that’s when my body turns into a lifeless statue.

“Hey, Syd…” Hazel says a little awkwardly, but then she frowns uncertainly and asks, “Or is it Nova now?”

“Hazel?!” I exclaim in disbelief. All this time, the girl at the airport actually was Hazel! I run over, practically tripping over her luggage, and wrap my arms around her in a tight hug. “Oh my god! What are you doing here?”

“Is it not obvious?” Hazel says incredulously. “I followed you. Duh.”

I am still speechless. “No, but…you can’t be here.”

“Why not?” she asks, pulling away from me so that she can get her bags that have toppled over. “I’m already here. Besides, I have to be now that we’re gonna be roomies.”

“No, I said I didn’t want a roommate,” I say, this time seeming to have a hard time controlling my own mouth. I mean, yeah, I don’t want a complete stranger staying in my hotel room with me, but that was before I found out Hazel was said ‘complete stranger,’ or lack thereof.

Hazel chuckles. “Not at the hotel, dumb-dumb. At school. You accepted my roommate proposal, remember?”

That is partially true. At the time I was searching for a roommate, I got a request from a girl who had the exact same name as my best friend. My immediate thought was that she was actually a British girl who coincidentally shared the same name as my Hazel, which I thought was pretty cool, and I accepted her request; however, it wasn’t until after I accepted that the school automatically sent me the girl’s email address and phone number, and then I realized that it was in fact the same Hazel, although how that was possible, I didn’t know…at least until now.

I shake my head. “No, but…I thought you were just another girl with the same name…and the same phone number and email address,” I add that last part slowly.  

Hazel laughs. “Nope. It was always me. You didn’t think you’d get rid of your bestie that easily, did you? Turns out you’re not the only one with secrets.”

“No, it’s not that I was getting rid of you,” I say honestly. “I was…” I then pause, frowning. “Wait, what are you talking about, I’m not the only one with secrets?"

Hazel frowns as well, but in disbelief. “Oh, come on, Nova, don’t tell me you haven’t already figured it out.” She pauses, hoping I’d confirm everything, but I just stare at her, so she explains. “During one of my last sleepovers at your house, I secretly planted a camera in your room so I can see what you’ve been doing, specifically when you’d plan to move out. I honestly thought you were lying when you said you’d be staying in town, and clearly, I was right. I specifically put the camera where it was facing your computer so I could see what sites you were looking at, and whenever I saw you applying for more colleges in England, I did the exact same thing and applied for the same colleges. And when I saw you enroll at one school, I enrolled at the same school and requested that you be my roommate for the first year. I even made sure to buy tickets for the exact same flights as you, hence why you saw me in Chicago, and I secretly planted a tracker in your purse so I could find you once you got into London. You can guess how I got here after that.”

I am almost completely speechless at this point, but somehow, I still hear words come out of my mouth. “I can’t believe this. I can’t believe you did all that just to find me.” I then raise an eyebrow and murmur, “You know, I could have you arrested for intentional stalking, right?”

Hazel laughs as if I am joking. “Of course, I do.” Then she suddenly pauses, realizing that I’m not. “Wait, you’re not serious, are you?”

“No, but I could have the police force you back to the airport to buy a plane ticket home,” I say. “In fact, I’m very tempted to do that anyway.” If I actually do that, the police will force Hazel to stay home where she’d be on literal house-arrest; that way, she can’t come back to find me like she did today.

“Why?” she says in an offended tone. “I just got here! Besides, I’m fully enrolled here; I’ve paid for all my classes and everything, just like you.”

“It doesn’t matter,” I say, shaking my head. “I could still have the police force you to cancel everything and send you back home. Haven’t you read my letter? I left you because I didn’t want you to get hurt in case I attracted more danger to myself.”

“I understand that,” Hazel nods, “but did you really think I’d just take your advice and let you go off on your own? You’d be in more danger on your own, especially without me around.”

I sigh heavily. Why is it not obvious that I saved her life by leaving her yesterday?

“No, Haze, you don’t get it!” I exclaim. “By coming after me, you just put yourself in more danger. Because of my powers, I’m the one attracting the danger, and as long as you’re with me, you’ll have a higher chance of getting killed; and if that happens, it’ll be because of me, because I let you stay here with me. That’s exactly why I was going to leave you but not tell you where I was going, knowing you’d just follow me. I was leaving you to protect you from me. And now that you’re here…” I suddenly feel another wave of emotion rush through me, and I immediately wrap my arms around her again, not wanting her to see how much I am hurting. “I don’t want you getting hurt because of me…because of what I am.” It’s the other kind of hurt—the physical kind—that I don’t want Hazel to experience. Now that she’s here, it’s only a matter of time before that happens.  

I hold my best friend against me for what feels like minutes, but in reality, it may only be seconds. In any case, I don’t let go, fearing that she might just be an illusion and disappear.

After however much time that passes, Hazel speaks up, saying, “I’m sorry, Nova. I get that you were just doing what you thought was right. You’re right, I shouldn’t have come here. I’ll just cancel my enrollment and catch the first flight home tomorrow.” She releases me and gathers up her bags in preparation to head back to the airport, but I stop her.

“No!” I exclaim, pulling her arm back from lifting one of her suitcases. “In all honesty, I’m glad that you’re here. The truth is, when my Uber driver was driving me to the airport, I was already missing you terribly. I know I promised that I would take you with me to London—not just to school but to also help me find my bio-parents and figure out who and what I am—and at the time I felt like I was breaking that promise, but I was doing it to protect you. But now I see that there’s no stopping you, now that you’re already here; you obviously disobeyed me after I said in my letter that I didn’t want you to follow me, and clearly, you’ve proven that you don’t take orders from anyone, certainly not from me.” I then hold out my hand to her and say, “Friends always stick together, for better or worse.”

“Even ‘til death do us part,” Hazel adds, shaking my hand as a way of sealing the promise that can no longer be broken. “Although, if that does happen, the fault will be on me, because I chose to ignore your advice. It won’t be because of you. It’s not your fault you were born the way you are.”

“No, it’s not,” I say in agreement. “It’s my bio-parents’ fault. They turned me into this, and they will never be forgiven.” I then smile, suddenly having a change of mind. “In fact, I’ve decided to not look for them anymore.”

Hazel stares at me as if I’ve grown a second head. “Really?” she says incredulously.

I shrug. “Yeah. Why would I want to be acquainted—not to mention blood-related—with people I deeply hate? It’s their fault my life isn’t normal. They took my normality—my humanity—away from me and destroyed it forever by making me this way, and I will never get it back…but that’s not going to stop me from trying to live a normal life. I may not have been born human, but this planet is my home, and it will always be my home. I won’t let my non-humanness take away the parts of me that are human. I was raised as a human, so human is what I will be, from now until I can no longer regenerate.”

“Speaking of which, what about your powers?” Hazel asks curiously. “I mean, your regeneration is what makes you not human.”

I smile uncertainly. “I don’t know, I kinda like having these abilities. They make me feel like a superhero. I mean, I saved your life when I healed your arm that one time. Who knows what would’ve happened to your health if I hadn’t healed you when I did.” Or if I hadn’t had the courage to knock out that Sontaran, I think. If I had the power to see alternate realities, that version of the event would not be one that I would like to see.

“That’s true,” Hazel nods in agreement.  

“The idea of having these so-called ‘superpowers’ is really cool,” I continue, “but that’s all I want them to be—an idea, and nothing more. I’d rather they be imaginative, not real. With these powers, I’m a danger-magnet; I just attract danger, wherever I go, and it’s not by choice. The only way I could live a normal life is if I never had these abilities, and that way I wouldn’t have had to leave home.” This is true. If I was never born with my (literally) otherworldly abilities, I’d still be at home, or I would’ve gone with my parents to the concert.

But I’m not normal, and nothing is ever going to change that.

“Will you ever come back home,” Hazel asks hopefully, “even if you’ve decided to not search for your bio-parents anymore?”

I shake my head sadly. “No. I’m sorry, Haze. I wish I could, but I can’t. Like I said, as long as I have these abilities, I’ll just continue attracting danger to myself.”

“Yes, but what if you found a way to get rid of them somehow,” she suggests, “like, give them up?”

I smile, nodding at the idea. “That would be a possibility, but I’d have to know how to give up my powers, and I don’t. My bio-mother did it to save my bio-father once upon a time, but I don’t know how she did it then; my bio-father didn’t say how.” I then pause, realizing something. I then think aloud, “Of course, my bio-parents would know how to do something like that, especially my mother. In which case, I may need to talk to them, after all.” If it’s true that my bio-mother gave up her Time Lord abilities to save my father, maybe she could show me how she did it, and maybe I could do the same.

“So, what do you want to do?” Hazel asks me, knowing that at this point, I am completely indecisive, and honestly, I am.  

I sigh, confirming her assumption. “I don’t know. I don’t know what to do. I just want a normal life, but I can’t have one with the way that I am, this ‘not being human.’” I recently learned that all these powers have done is bring darkness and destruction (hence why all these alien invasions keep happening), And I don’t know if I can continue to live with that, certainly not with my family. The only way to get even a semi-normal life is by forcing my bio-parents to take away my powers that they have given me since I was first born, and maybe then I’ll have a decent shot, but only if that happens, which makes me more desperate than ever to find them.

Dear God, I sure hope I find them soon, I pray in my head.

“Well, it sounds like you don’t have a choice,” Hazel says regretfully. “You may have the ability to change your appearance with regeneration, but you can’t change your entire species.”

“You’re right, I can’t,” I agree. “Granted, my first regeneration is what turned me non-human to begin with. I can’t just ‘retro-regenerate’ back to who I was before. That’s impossible; my dad said so in his letter.”

Hazel shrugs. “Well, whatever you decide to do, or how you decide to do it, I’ll be with you, no matter what; and if you go down…”

I smile and finish her statement. “You’ll go down with me.” I then hug her again for what feels like the thousandth time today (not really), saying, “Thanks, Haze. I’m starting to think it was a big mistake leaving you.”

“No kidding,” she chuckles, returning the hug. “You know, I’m never going to let you live this down.”

I chuckle as well. “Of course, you’re not. I guess I’ll be stuck with you for a while.”

“Yup.” She releases me and starts gathering up her luggage, and I help her carry the items that she can’t carry on her own. She then starts rambling at an incredibly fast speed that would normally be way too fast for human ears to keep up with, but with my Time Lord hearing, I can keep up just fine. “Now, how about we try to become proper sisters? Do you think we’ll meet the Queen while we’re here? Also, when are we gonna start hunting for a British boyfriend?”

I apparently lose my battle with myself in trying to hold back a snort. Yeah, like hunting for a British boyfriend or girlfriend is the very first thing everyone does after arriving in London, I scoff in my head. Oh, Haze, what would I do without you?

Chapter Text

Four days after our first arrival, we set off exploring what will soon become our new home city. During the first few days, Hazel and I stayed in the hotel for the majority of the time, mainly because I insisted that Hazel catch up on sleep to get over jet lag; she could barely get out a full sentence without yawning every six words that came out of her mouth. Now, she is finally over it—at least for the most part—and we spend the day getting familiar with the city. We spend most of the morning and early afternoon touring the city on the top of one of the iconic double-decker buses that we've often seen pictures of in travel magazines, and we visit some of the most famous tourist attractions in the city, such as The British Museum, Buckingham Palace, Westminster and the Houses of Parliament, William Shakespeare's Globe Theater, and the Tower of London.

After touring around Westminster, we decide to walk across the river to The London Eye and rest our feet at a small bench along The Queen's Walk at the edge of the river.

"This city is amazing!" Hazel exclaims after twenty minutes of resting. "I can't believe you tried to ditch me and come here without me."

"I didn't 'ditch' you," I shake my head, "not on purpose. Well, sort of, but it was for a good reason. I told you; I left you to keep you safe."

"Yeah, yeah," she rolls her eyes, "you thought you'd attract danger to yourself because of your powers; you keep saying that. In case you haven't noticed, there hasn't been any 'danger' that's come after us since we got here; in fact, there hasn't been a single invasion since we got here. Are you sure you weren't just being paranoid for no reason when you left?"

"No," I say seriously, but then I pause, suddenly feeling uncertain. "Well, maybe. I…I don't know. The truth is, I don't actually know if my powers attract danger or not. I just noticed that after I healed a paper cut back in Second Grade, a dangerous psychopath invaded our school a few days later, and because of that, I figured I may have accidentally attracted him there because he'd sensed my so-called 'Time Energy.' I'm honestly still not sure what he meant by that, or what that actually is, but I think that energy may be something inside me, something in my body that's giving me my abilities; and as long as that energy is inside me, those who can sense it will be attracted to it and come after it like a moth to a flame. Ever since that moment, I've had the fear of similar 'beings' coming after me, as well as my family…and you."

"What about that armored dwarf that tried to kill us during Laser Tag back in high school?" Hazel asks curiously. "Do you think it was attracted to your Time Energy too?"

"I don't know," I shrug. "It only said it was after me but not my Time Energy; although, it may have been after my energy, hence why it was looking for me. In any case, because I feared that would happen again, or that those psychos would come after my family too, I decided to leave, hoping my family would be safe from them…from me." My words suddenly make me think back on the memory of my bio-father when he said the exact same words to me before he gave me up, and about the same psychos that are the so-called 'Silence.' I sigh. "Honestly now, I'm starting to regret leaving in the first place. Maybe I was just being paranoid for no reason. Maybe they only sense my energy whenever I use it, but not when I'm not."

"So…I guess this means that if you go back home, you can't ever use your powers again," Hazel points out, "not even for healing."

"Yeah," I nod, "but at least I'll have a shot at being human. That's all I've ever wanted to be since I was told I wasn't human." Of course, not using my powers ever again won't change the fact that I'm not human, but I don't admit that to Hazel, knowing that she is already well aware of that.

"Well, now you can fulfil that wish," she smiles.

"Yeah," I smile back. "Sort of."

Just then, I suddenly have a feeling like I'm being watched, but it's not yet clear if the person watching me is an enemy or not. Ignoring the strange feeling, I ask Hazel cheerfully, "So, what's been your favorite thing you've seen here so far?"

Clearly not having the same feeling as me—either that, or the feeling just hasn't gotten to her yet—she answers casually, "Well, the British Museum was pretty cool, and Buckingham Palace; although I wish we could've walked inside. How cool would it have been to see the Queen sitting in one of the rooms drinking tea, or something? Then again, that might be a bit creepy, seeing complete strangers watching you drink tea, right? At least, that would creep me out."

I laugh. Haze, always so dramatic. "Okay. What else?"

"The Tower of London was pretty neat too," she continues. "Although, what I don't get is why the place had such tight security. I mean, I know the Queen's jewels are kept there, but why do they need extra security, like those soldiers that we kept seeing in almost every hallway? Who did you say they were again?"

"U.N.I.T," I explain. "Stands for 'United Nations Intelligence Taskforce.' They're in charge of defending the city, maybe even the planet, from alien invasions…or anything alien, really."

"Like you?" Hazel asks jokingly.

I chuckle. "No. I'm not that kind of alien."

Hazel laughs as well. "Yeah, I know. That one lady was very friendly, welcoming us to London; though she was a bit of a loony, to be honest. She wore a freakishly long scarf that looked at least four times her height, and it's not very cold out. She even wore a bow tie, and women don't typically wear bow ties."

"I kinda liked it," I say honestly with a small shrug. "It suited her, no matter what the temperature was. The bow tie was kinda cool too."

"She seemed to really like your necklace," Hazel comments with a smile, glancing down at my necklace hanging down my front.

"Yeah," I agree, looking down at it as well. "Though I should probably hide it from now on." I then shove it down the neck of my shirt, so it is out of sight.

"Why?" Hazel asks, puzzled. "It's a beautiful necklace; it's from your home world, or rather your dad's."

"Yes, the necklace is beautiful," I agree, "but I don't want people looking at it and recognizing the symbols. I have a feeling that most people who do are enemies of us…of my species, I mean. I don't want them to be suspicious of me." The last thing I want is to be attacked and killed by a seemingly random stranger who just happens to know where my necklace comes from. I mean, why should someone be brutally attacked if someone else doesn't like a certain piece of clothing or jewelry? The comprehension of this is lost on me.

Though, Hazel seems to understand just fine, at least for my case. "That's true," she nods.

Suddenly, the feeling of being watched heightens a bit, and it has become much harder to ignore it. I glance toward the direction of where I am feeling the sense the most, and I see a pair of men dressed in black staring right at me, one of them wearing a sinister-looking eye-patch, moving two feet closer to our current location. In fact, I've noticed this happen at the corner of my eye several times already.

"Speaking of which," I murmur to Hazel as I stare intensely back at the men, "I think there might already be some suspicious people here."

"What do you mean?" Hazel asks with a frown. "What's wrong, Nov?"

Since I don't want to point directly at the staring pair, I step to the other side of Hazel, so she is facing them, but my back is to them. "Those two men in the black hoodies…they're staring at us," I murmur to her. "Have been for a while."

She glances suspiciously at them and then murmurs back to me, puzzled, "Why? Who are they?"

"I don't know, but they're dangerous," I say, still keeping my back to them and my voice low in case they might be listening.

"How do you know?" she asks, her anxiety increasing slightly.

"Two reasons," I say. "One, their posture, and two, they've been gradually coming closer to us without making it seem too obvious. Although they're kinda failing at it, especially to those who have a keen eye for noticing red flags like this, like me. Needless to say, I've become much more observant as of late, and you can understand why."

"So why are they making it obvious to you that they're coming after you?" Hazel asks, knowing of the complete lack of logic that this situation seems to possess. Obviously, when you're planning to capture someone, you don't make that obvious to the person you're trying to capture, right?

Then again, maybe these guys actually know what they're doing—in which case, they want me to know what they're up to—which sets my nerves on edge.

"Because they might know who I am," I say, confirming my own suspicion, "and maybe even what I am."

"Are they here for your Time Energy?" Hazel asks nervously but also curiously.

"I don't know what they want from me," I say, shaking my head. "Maybe they are, or maybe they want to kidnap me, no doubt to train me as an assassin against my father like they did with my mother. Or they're here simply to kill me. Whatever the case, they're dangerous, and we need to avoid them at all costs."

Just then, I see one of the men whisper something in a walkie-talkie, and I am able to make out a few phrases with my enhanced Time Lord hearing.

"Let's go," I insist as I take Hazel's arm and pull her in the opposite direction as a way of giving the message that we need to leave this area immediately. She takes the hint, but she can't help but look behind her at the men, who begin to follow us at a distance. "Don't look at them," I tell her, not wanting the men to know that we know they're following us; although, they might already know. "Just keep walking. I don't think they're alone."

"How do you know?" Hazel asks, her anxiety increasing even more.

"I heard one of the guys whisper through a walkie-talkie, 'she's by the river to your left,'" I explain without knowing any other way to say it without totally freaking Hazel out. "'She' being me, so they're obviously not alone." Of course, with so many people around, there's no way of telling who else these creepers could be with.

"Who else are they with?" Hazel reads my mind exactly, glancing around her in seeming panic.

"I don't know, but stay close and keep your eyes open," I say seriously, sensing that we're not as safe here as I thought we would be. Then again, to be technical, nowhere is truly safe, knowing that dangers could be lurking around every corner, including in one's own home. "They could be attempting to surround us."

"But they won't actually attack us, right?" Hazel says reassuringly, even though she was mostly reassuring herself. "Not with so many people around."

"You never know of anyone's true intentions, Haze," I say honestly. "Maybe attacking us in front of millions of people doesn't matter to them, no matter how stupid that plan is. What's important is that we stay clear of them."

We start walking away from the London Eye and toward the main streets. I have started developing a plan in my head to try to lose the creepers in several ways, like crossing the street when the traffic light immediately turns green or sneaking into a shop and laying low in it until the men give up.

"Where are we going?" Hazel asks me after a minute of walking.

Not knowing of any particular destination that comes to mind, I say, "Anywhere as long as we lose them. The last thing we want is for them to know where we're staying."

"What if they keep following us," she asks, her voice now starting to shake a bit out of nervousness, "even if we try losing them in a large crowd?"

Knowing that our options are severely limited, I say the only other alternative that comes to mind, even though it's going to be one that Hazel will not like. "Then…we'll have to split up."

Apparently, I am right because she says incredulously, "Split up? Are you crazy?"

"If I'm right that they're only after me, they might leave you alone if we split up," I confess. "That way you'll have a chance to escape."

"But what about you?" Hazel asks, now legitimately panicking; I know, because I can literally sense her single heart beating rapidly in her chest at the insane idea. "I'm not leaving you!"

Even when I first thought of the idea, it was insane to me too. By splitting up, the guys will have to choose who to come after (between me or Hazel), and, of course, whoever they choose to come after will be in the most danger. Obviously, I'm not going to let them come after Hazel, since whatever these creeps want me for, she has no involvement in it whatsoever. If anyone is going to be followed, and, possibly later, captured, it should be me. Besides, I have a feeling that whatever it is these guys have a problem with, it must be a Time Lord thing, which is obviously way beyond Hazel's comprehension; then again, it's way beyond mine as well.

"You may not have a choice," I say, shaking my head. "This is exactly the reason why I didn't want you following me to London. Whatever it is those thugs want with me, I don't want you involved. That is why you must run."

"No!" Hazel exclaims. "I'm not leaving you!"

Knowing that Hazel would refuse to leave me, especially after I had left her (and honestly, I don't blame her), I shake my head and say, "Haze, there's no time for arguing! They're gaining on us, and there seems to be a lot more of them now."

Since we've been walking, I've seen other men dressed in black—a few others wearing the same eye-patch as the first guy—coming out of nearby alleyways and side streets, and they all seem to be converging on us.

"How many?" Hazel asks, nervously looking over her shoulder at the other men that have joined the original two.

"Too many for me to take on at one time." I turn back as well to find at least fifteen men—five of them wearing eye-patches—walking at a close distance behind us, gradually increasing their speed. The eye-patch makes the men appear to be a part of a sinister cult, or something of the like, which sends creepy vibes up both of our spines. "Crap!" I curse at them, turning my back on them once again.

"What do we do, Nova?" Hazel says, her voice whimpering now out of fear. "There seems to be way too many of them now, like you said. If any more come, they'll catch us…or worse…"

Not knowing of any other options that would help us in our escape, I sigh and say apologetically, "I'm sorry, Hazel, but…I think we may have to split up, after all."

No surprise, Hazel doesn't like my suggestion, even though it's the only one we have now. "What? No! I said I'm not leaving you!"

"Haze, you have to!" I insist. "I'd be keeping you safe that way."

"No!" she screams, tears now streaming down her cheeks. "'You go down, I go down with you!' Remember?"

"Not this time, Haze," I say regretfully. "It's not safe for us to be together right now. Besides, they're after me, not you. If you run and hide somewhere, and if I'm able to lose them, I'll come and find you."

For some reason, when these words are said, they sound like a lie. For some reason, I don't think I am going to survive this, which is why I want Hazel to run if I am actually captured. Even though I promise to find her, thinking about it now, I may not be able to live up to that promise. In fact, I may not live at all, if the men capture me and decide to kill me right on the spot; or, at the very least, I won't survive as myself, depending on if I can still regenerate. Even if I do survive this, I may reunite with Hazel, but with a new face. In any case, if Hazel is captured, her chances of survival are slim to none.

"No, Nov, listen!" she argues. "If we split up, you won't have anyone to protect you if you get caught, and nor will I!"

"I know," I nod. "Like I said, they're not here for you; they're here for me. If I'm caught, you'll have a chance to escape. You'll be safe without me."

"No!" Hazel screams again, not wanting to hear any more of the subject, but I'm not going to give her a choice, because I know that this is what is best for us…for her.

"Haze, this isn't up for discussion," I say sternly. "We're doing this. I'm doing this to keep you safe. I don't want you getting hurt."

"I don't want you getting hurt either," she says with tears still streaming down her cheeks.

"I'll be fine, I promise," I say, although it sounds like a lie again. "I've got my martial arts skills to protect me. Meanwhile, you're going to run, and you're not going to stop running until you get somewhere safe. I'm going to do the same thing, and whenever it's safe again, I'll meet you back at the hotel."

"How will we know when it's safe to come back?" Hazel says uncertainly.

"Honestly…we won't," I say with a sigh. "At least I won't."

"Why do I get the feeling like I'm never going to see you again?" she asks fearfully, like my words will be the last that she will ever hear me say, which, for all I know, probably will be.

"I'm sorry, Haze," I say, now feeling tears fill my own eyes. "You're just going to have to trust me."

Hazel then squeezes my hand so tightly that it hurts, but I don't let it show. "I always do."

Looking ahead, I notice that the street ends at another perpendicular street that goes seemingly infinite in both directions, and I get an idea. "Okay…" I murmur to Hazel quietly, knowing the men are much closer to us now, a little too close for comfort. "Once we get to the end of the street, you're going to walk one way, and I'm going to walk down the other. Then, once we reach the end of our streets, and depending on how many men follow us, we're going to run. If they run too, just keep running, and don't stop running until you get somewhere safe. Then you're going to head back to the hotel; luckily it has good security, so they can't access the lift without a keycard."

"What about you?" Hazel asks nervously, still not liking this plan of mine, but it is the only one available.

"I'm going to have as many men as I can chase me," I say, "and once I'm able to lose them, I'm going to lay low for a while until I know I'm no longer being chased. Then I'll come and find you back at the hotel." Again, it sounds like I'm lying, but at this point I can't help it. Even if I actually am lying, this seems to be exactly what Hazel wants to hear—for me to come back to her safely. However, the definition of 'safely' for me is very different from her definition. Will I safely return to her with my current face, or will I return with a totally different face? Will I even return safely at all? Only Time will tell at this point.

As we're reaching the end of the block, Hazel hugs me tightly. "Be careful, Nova. I don't want to lose you."

"I don't want to lose you either," I say, returning the hug. "Remember, run, and don't stop running." I then look back at the men, who are still following us. In fact, I don't think they're going to stop following us until they capture us…or rather, they're not going to stop until they capture me.

Suddenly, something happens that we don't expect. One of the men shouts out at us, "You little ducklings seem to be lost."

At first, I am surprised that one of them actually spoke up at all, but I don't let this distract me from my plan. "Get ready," I murmur to Hazel, ignoring anything else the men might say to us.

"I'm scared," Hazel whimpers quietly to me, squeezing my hand again.

"Don't be," I shake my head. "We're going to see each other again. I promise." That last bit is an honest truth. No matter what, I'm going to find my way back to her, no matter what face I am wearing.

The same man suddenly speaks up again, this time saying, "If you're lost, we can show you the way. We can help you get back to where you need to go."

At this point, I almost pause in my tracks, suddenly recognizing the man's voice.

Hazel must have caught on to the same conclusion as me, because she says in shock, "Nova… That voice…it's—"

"Yeah," I nod. "It's the school intruder from back in Second Grade. Get ready to make like a Banana Split." At first, Hazel frowns at my words, but then she nods a second later, understanding what I am saying. A second after, her expression shifts back to fear. "I know, Haze," I assure her. "I understand, but this is the only way." We both have our own priorities. She doesn't want me to ever leave her again, and I want her safe from any danger that ever exists. Unfortunately, with our current situation, neither of us can be safe…

Not unless I take this leap of faith. Alone.

"You know who I am, don't you?" the man that was our school intruder speaks up again. "I heard you two whispering. And I know what you're about to do. You're not going to get very far."

Even if he does know what we're about to do, we're not going to let him succeed in taking us, wherever it is. Once we reach the end of the street, I hug Hazel one last time. "Okay, it's time," I whisper in her ear. "Run, and don't stop running."

"Be careful, Nova," she says tearfully before she releases me and bolts down the right end of the street. I pause and stare at the men before I start walking in the opposite direction as Hazel.

After five seconds, I look back, and I notice that the 'leader man,' who I assume is—was—our school intruder, signals for a small group of other men to go after Hazel, and I can't help but say angrily in my head, don’t you dare come after her. Come after me instead. Of course, the majority of the men, including the school intruder, continue coming after me, but I turn my back on them again and ignore them as I pick up my walking pace.

"That wasn't a very clever move," the intruder taunts me, "splitting from your little human friend. Now, she doesn't have anyone to protect her…and nor do you."

He is right, of course, but there is something about me that he doesn't know. No, I say in my head, but I have a secret weapon; and if you hurt Hazel, you're going to wish you never came after me eleven years after you last terrorized me and my friends.

I then turn onto another more public street, but the men continue to follow me (no surprise). I pick up the pace again as I sense the men doing the same. Then, just as a large group of tourists exits off a bus and blocks the men's path, I immediately begin running at a full sprint.

"She's bolting!" I hear the intruder/leader shout behind me. "Don't let her escape this time!" I then hear rushing footsteps behind me from the other men, but I don't dare look.

'This time,' I couldn't help sniggering in my head, because last time he failed to capture me because of my bio-mom. How hilarious would it be for that to happen again?

I continue running at full sprint down the street, avoiding running into people as I go. Luckily, most of them jump out of the way as I pass them; however, those that aren't fast enough get shoved out of the way, at least by the men chasing me. Seeing an alleyway, I take the chance to use it to lose the men, but they follow me right inside.

"You won't get very far, Time Lord!" another of the intruder's/leader's cronies shouts after me, seeming to not care who else might be listening. "We'll find you!"

"You'll have to catch me first," I can't help snapping back at him, though it is more of a murmur to myself.

I continue running, hoping beyond hope for a way out, but this particular alleyway I've run into seems to have become a maze, and I keep thinking that the next corner I turn around might just be the way out, only to be wrong, and I end up finding more dark and seemingly endless alleyways. Usually with mazes, there is at least one way out, but there are also a number of dead-ends, and if I run into a dead-end, I'm screwed.

Unfortunately, the odds of escaping this alleyway alive are not in my favor, because I suddenly run into a dead-end with absolutely no way out. I look around frantically for some kind of hidden door to slip through quietly, but there is none; there isn't even anything I can use to defend myself with. "Fudgeknuckle!" I curse loudly in defeat.

I then turn toward the way I came, and I see that the men have managed to catch up to me. "You got nowhere left to run, Time Lord," one of them taunts, grinning at me like a predator grins at a piece of meat. "There are too many of us for you to fight alone."

"You sure about that, ugly?" I glare back at him, gathering all of my martial arts training to the forefront of my brain. "I'd take back that last statement if I were you. Automatically assuming things like that about a person makes you look stupid, and stupidity never looks good on a henchman."

The man sniggers at me. "You think you're so clever with your words, just like your father, but you have no idea whom you're dealing with."

"I think I'll take my chances," I say carelessly. I may appear to be weak, fragile, and easy to kidnap, despite having two hearts, but these bozos know absolutely nothing about me and the powers I possess, not to mention the skills I was taught since I was seven. "You wanna dance, it's on!" I say as I get into the 'ready position' that I was taught to get into before a big fight. "Bring it!"

"I'll lead!" The man says as he advances on me, but I take him down in a heartbeat.

"Whatever happened to 'ladies first?'" I ask in mock puzzlement as several more men come at me, but again, I kick them to the turf just as easily as I did the first guy.

After a while, too many men come after me at one time, and I struggle to take them all by myself. One of the men grabs me and throws me against the wall, and my vision is cloudy when my head bangs hard against the rough surface. As I struggle to get back on my feet from a slight headache, another man kicks me in the chest, and I scream in pain from the powerful blow, hearts racing and vision hazy. Maybe it wasn't clever to taunt them, after all, I think, and even in my head, my voice sounds weak.

Suddenly, I am roughly hoisted up to my feet by two men who restrain me. Once they have me secure in their tight grips, I am approached by another man who seems to be the group's leader. When first laying eyes on him, I immediately think of the character Voldemort from the Harry Potter films, because his skin is incredibly pale, and he has thin slits for a nose, but, unlike Voldemort's eyes, his eyes—or rather eye, since one of his eyes is covered with that creepy-looking eye-patch—are deep-set and dark as night.

"We meet again, Nova Susan Song," he says with an evil smirk, like he has finally claimed the prize that he has been longing to win for a long time—eleven years, to be exact. I know this, because I recognize his voice as the intruder that invaded my school back then.

Physically, I may be too weak to fight, but mentally, I can still pack a solid punch.

"Again?" I scoff. "Sorry, I don't recall ever meeting you. At least, I didn't get to meet you in person after my mother shot your ass!"

"Ooh, such fire in your soul," he sniggers at me. "Your parents named you well."

"What do you know of my parents?" I ask in a doubtful tone, because I seriously doubt that he knows anything about my parents, both foster and biological, including me.

He pauses, feigning puzzlement. "Hmmm…depends on which 'parents' you're referring to—your biological parents who left you behind, or your primitive human parents whom you left behind. I must say, you leaving your human parents behind was the biggest mistake of your life." He then smirks again. "Or should I say 'lives?'"

Lives? I think. How could he possibly know of such things? Nobody should know anything about that except my family and Hazel.

"That's right," the intruder/leader nods, noticing my confusion, "I know your little secret. I know what you are…Time Lord. There aren't very many of you anymore. There used to just be your daddy, but now there's your mother…and you."

At the mere mention of my guardians, I can't help but fear for their safety. "What have you done to my guardians?" I demand angrily. He obviously knows something about them; otherwise, why would he have mentioned them at all? He must've done something to them, and maybe to Hazel.

The intruder/leader chuckles. "Oh, you call them your ‘guardians’ now? That makes sense, seeing as they were never your real parents. And don't worry about them; they're being well taken care of. My madam has found them a comfortable place to rot." He then grins evilly, saying, "And soon, your little human companion will join them."

Something unexpected happens in that moment. I feel that so-called 'fire' burning inside me again, but this time it seems to take over my entire body. My vision seems to take on a strange tinge, like I'm seeing the world through a solid gold stain-glass window, and my other senses seem to heighten as well. As my anger toward the Silence members grows (they must be Silence members; why else would they be taking advantage of me like this?), so does the raging fire.

"NO!" I scream on pure instinct as the fire suddenly overloads in the form of golden energy shooting out of my hands toward my captors, sending them flying like rag dolls and then crashing hard against the walls on either side of the closed alley. Many other Silence members back away in horror or are also pushed off-balance by my apparent 'Force Push.'

Once it's over, my vision returns to normal, as do by other senses. "Whoa!" I exclaim, staring, in complete shock, at my hands, the glow now beginning to fade, as well as at the damage I had apparently done. "That's new!" Since when did I become a Jedi?

However, the shock is short-lived, as exhaustion abruptly hits me like a wave, and I feel my body collapse against the wall and slide down it to the floor. Before I could slide completely to the floor, the Intruder/Leader orders more of his cronies to seize me, and they do, grabbing me firmly by the arms and forcefully holding me up.

"Impressive," the Intruder/Leader says in genuine surprise, but to me his voice sounds far away, despite him standing just feet from me. "Clearly, our experiments worked!"

I frown in confusion. "What…experiments?" I feel so weak that I can barely get a word out, which the Silence members apparently find amusing.

"You'll understand soon enough," he says with a smirk, "once you join our cause."

"I'll…never join you sickos!" I pant with a growl, my hearts pounding with rage and contempt. "And…if you've hurt…my family, I swear, I'll—"

He chuckles again. "You're in no fit state to stop us, little Time Tot. At least not anymore. Though, I'll say this for you: there is much fight in you. Clearly, I underestimated your abilities, you taking down six of my men all by yourself. At least, that was before your little light show."

"I've had years of training," I spit back at him matter-of-factly.

"Oh, my dear," he drawls with that perverted smirk, "we know. We've been the ones training you all this time."

"What are you talking about?" I demand with a frown, completely dumbfounded. How could they have known where I was all this time, where I lived? How long have they been close to me, without me even realizing it?

"We've been much closer to you than you think," he explains, his disgusting smirk still plastered on his greasy, pale face, "ever since your human parents urged you to start defending yourself. You must have often wondered why your personal training was much more advanced, much more potent, than everyone else's. We weren't training you to defend yourself. We were training you to kill."

"Master Kang…" I say in shock, feeling completely devastated that I didn't see this sooner. "He's one of you?" How could that be? How could he have been one of them, and I didn't even know?

Then again, it would explain why he was always so hard on me, and the other trainers and trainees were suspicious of him, having seemingly come out of nowhere after my previous trainer (who I'd only spent two days with) mysteriously disappeared and was found dead days later 'under mysterious circumstances.' At the time, I didn't think 'Master Kang' was the one responsible for her death, but now it is clear that he was—or at least the Silence were. After he disposed of her, Kang immediately applied to be a martial arts instructor in her place, and he insisted on training me, and only me. His exercises were very tough and incredibly violent for my comfort, and he had a very strict attitude, like he was going to severely punish me if I didn't try hard enough; but I learned to tolerate his toughness toward me, even though in reality he was training me for something much worse, and I should've stopped there and then, but I didn't. I regret every minute of it now that I know the truth.

"Yes," the intruder/leader nods. "Has been for a very long time, long before you were born. Long before even your mother was born. Kang was the one who trained your mother when she became one of us."

Not willingly, I bet, I think spitefully. She must've been a real nasty piece of work back in the day. Shame she betrayed them. What makes them think that I won't do the same?

Also, how insane was it that the exact same man who trained me also trained my mother?

"And you will have many more years if you join us," the intruder/leader continues. He leans ever closer to me where I can smell his rotten breath. "You know you fight just as well as your mother did when we trained her. She, too, had much fire in her soul; we obviously chose well with her, and it seems like we might choose well with you. I wonder if all Time Lord females have this much spunk, or it's just a family trait." He then attempts to stroke my cheek with the back of his hand, but I don't give him that satisfaction and think that he has any power over me.

"Sorry to disappoint, Voldemort," I say, roughly pulling away from his touch, "but I think I'll pass on that offer. I don't think 'murderous psychopath,' or even 'Death Eater,' would look good on a résumé. Besides, I'm pretty sure my mother failed you guys when she married the one person she was trained to kill. And a good thing too because I wouldn't be here if she didn't."

The intruder/leader frowns at me and looks as if he's about to ask me how I know all of this when suddenly, he is interrupted by an all-too-familiar female voice from behind him, "No, she wouldn't." I look over his shoulder and see the mysterious British curly-haired woman I had seen several times throughout my life, now standing twenty feet from us with a proud smirk plastered on her face—her face that looks very similar to my own. "Hello, sweetie," she smiles at me, her unusual greeting greatly confusing me. Why would a complete stranger call me 'sweetie?' I think to myself. We don't even know each other.

At least…I think we don't. At least, I don't know her, but she clearly knows me, hence why she's appeared to me throughout my childhood.

"You!" the intruder/leader exclaims in shock and anger. "Get her, you dunderheads!"

The other men advance on the new arrival, but she takes them down just as easily as I had the first time, only she shoots them down with her futuristic-looking gun, which she takes out with lightning-speed. About eight other men follow suit, but she shoots them one-by-one, and they don't get back up, making me wonder whether she'd stunned them or killed them. Even the two men that hold me captive release me and attack the woman, and I take the opportunity to take down the intruder/leader, having regained my strength, but he's quick and pushes me back against the wall, pressing his elbow firmly on my throat, making me choke slightly.

Luckily, the woman has no problem taking down all of the other men, unlike me, and I can honestly say—though maybe not at this very moment, what with One-Eyed Voldemort's elbow blocking my vocal cords—her combat skills are impressive and clearly much more advanced than mine. A small part of me thinks to ask her to give me some extra combat training after this is over, but I put that thought to the back of my mind.

Once the last of the intruder/leader's cronies falls to the floor (dead or unconscious, I don't know), the woman steps forward and points her gun at him. "That wasn't very clever, ordering your 'dunderheads' to kill me," she says under her breath, glaring daggers at him.

Surprisingly, the intruder/leader isn't upset that she had defeated his other men in the fight. Instead, he smiles, seemingly innocently, and says, "Mrs. Song, how good to see you again. Here for a little family reunion, are you?"

For a second, I wonder what he means by 'family reunion,' but I put that thought to the back of my mind as well. Instead, I focus on the current situation, knowing that I could have my neck snapped at any moment.

"No," the woman says seriously. "I'm here to finish what we started. Clearly my aim was a little off last time, but now, I can promise you that I will not miss this time." She's obviously referring to their last meeting eleven years ago, when she saved me and my other classmates from the leader when he invaded our school. Apparently, she hadn't killed him then, like I thought she did; obviously, since he's standing right in front of me, strangling the life out of me. "And it's Professor Song to you." This statement makes me snigger under the leader's tight hold on me, knowing those with a proper title, such as that, have a much higher power over anyone else lacking a legitimate title. She continues, "I've said it before, and I'll say it again, a little differently this time…let the girl go, or I'll burn a hole right through your chest, this time without missing!" My smirk widens a little, knowing the leader isn't going to survive much longer, despite him still holding me tight by the throat. One shot from the woman, and he's toast.

But apparently, the leader thinks he still has the upper hand, even after his other henchmen have been defeated. "I've said this before, and I'll say it again…" he says, "what could be worse than a burnt hole in the chest, mummy dearest? Our numbers have risen by millions since our last meeting. One less Vokanari makes no difference." Those words instantly make me think back on that day in Second Grade, when he said those exact same words to her. He then smirks, glancing at me, making my stomach churn. "In fact, now that our numbers have risen so much, perhaps we no longer need your precious daughter to be the face of our cause." He then takes his arm off of my throat and, instead, wraps his fingers tightly around it, this time blocking any air from getting into my system. I involuntarily begin having a choking fit under his grip, trying, and failing to rip his hand off of me, and I feel my hearts go into a panicked overdrive due to my lack of breath.

"I'm warning you!" the woman shouts, cocking her gun as if to change the setting from 'stun' to 'kill.' So, the other guys aren't dead, I think with a small pang of relief. "Step away from her now!"

As much as I don't want to see anyone actually get killed, a part of me can't help but beg the woman to go ahead and kill the bastard, since he's clearly trying to strangle me to death. At this point, my vision begins to darken due to the lack of oxygen, and I feel like I'm going to pass out at any moment.

'Please…' I beg the woman in my head, my voice sounding incredibly weak. 'Do it. Take the shot. Now!'

I suddenly see the woman's posture perk up as if she heard me, but how she heard me, I have no idea.

"Sure, my madam might be disappointed that it wasn't your daughter that finally did away with your hubby," the leader says as if he hadn't heard the woman's warning, "but even if someone else were to succeed in killing him, I'm sure she wouldn't care either way, as long as he's dead and stays that way."

Suddenly, there is a loud noise and a flash of light, and then I feel the leader's grip around my throat loosening, making me breathe a little easier. I manage a small gasp of air as I look down and see a perfect burnt hole in the leader's chest, which looked like it had gone straight through his heart.

I glance back up at the woman, her gun smoking at the tip, as she says, staring unblinkingly at him, "You're wrong. I won't let anyone harm my husband or daughter for as long as I live…especially you." After she finishes speaking, the leader finally releases me and collapses to the floor, leaving me coughing out of shock and breathlessness.

"Are you alright?" the woman asks me after she blows on her gun to make it stop smoking and replaces it back in her holster at her hip.

I nod, rubbing my sore neck. "Yeah. Thanks." Still feeling a little weak, I lean against the wall, struggling to catch my breath and get my racing hearts back under control. While I am recuperating, I watch the woman as she seemingly inspects the bodies of anything worth of value. From one of the cronies' bodies, she steals what looks like a leather strap with several buttons and a large screen on the center and seems to do something with the device before placing the leather strap back on the body's wrist. She repeats this process on all of the other men except the leader. She even steals the eye-patches from the men who were wearing them and places them in her jeans pocket.

Thinking of this as strange behavior, I ask, "Um, what're you doing?"

"I take it you don't want these men coming after you again," the woman says casually but also knowingly, "so I'm going to send them over to the proper authorities; though not the authorities that you're used to." She doesn't say anything about what she plans to do with the eye-patches.

At first, I'm not sure what she means, but then I remember the fact that this woman may not be human, like me; therefore, the 'proper authorities' that she is sending the men to may also not be human.

"What do you mean?" I ask with a raised eyebrow. "Are you talking about space-police?"

"Precisely," the woman nods. "Now, may I borrow your sonic?"

"Sonic?" I ask, puzzled at the unusual word.

"Your screwdriver," the woman says as if it is obvious, "in your pocket." That's when it clicks in my head. She's talking about the sketchy device that my father sent me as a 'coming of age' gift. In confusion, I suddenly find myself handing it over seemingly willingly. "Thank you, sweetie," the woman smiles at me as she stands up from the floor and steps off to the side.

She called me 'sweetie' again, I can't help thinking in my head. Why does she keep doing that, especially when we're practically complete strangers of each other? It must be a British thing. Either that, or 'sweetie' is just an informal greeting that she likes to use. In any case, it's a bit weird.

Ignoring the weird feeling, I ask a little worriedly, "What're you gonna do with it?"

"This!" the woman exclaims. She then presses the button on the screwdriver, and the men suddenly disappear in a massive flash of light, all except for the leader.

"What did you just do?" I exclaim in shock. I can't decide if whatever I saw was amazing or frightening, but a part of me hopes for the former.

"I told you, I sent them to the proper authorities," the woman says as she tosses the screwdriver back to me, which I slightly fumble with upon catching it, not expecting her to give it back in this way. "The 'space-police,' as you called them; though their technical name is the Shadow Proclamation."

I nod, pretending like I know everything that she's talking about, even when in truth I know absolutely nothing. "What about this guy?" I ask, gesturing down at the leader still lying, face-down and unmoving, on the floor.

The woman suddenly shakes her head. "Oh, I'm not sending him with them."

"Why not?" I ask in puzzlement and disbelief.

"Because he's dead," she says obviously.

"So, what, we're just gonna leave him there?" I ask, feeling slightly disturbed at the idea, no matter how horrible this guy was before she killed him.

"Is that a problem?" she asks with a shrug, like it's perfectly normal to leave a dead body lying in the middle of an alleyway for someone else to discover later. Maybe it's normal for people like her, but it's not normal for people like me.

"Well, yeah," I say, at a loss as to why this crazy woman can't see the complete and utter lack of logic of this situation. "I mean, to leave a dead body—"

"Oh, tish-tosh!" the woman says, waving her hand dismissively. "There's no need for that. What matters is that you're safe…at least for now."

"I wish the same could be said for Hazel," I say sadly, suddenly thinking about her. "Those sickos took her somewhere, but he didn't say where. Some of those other guys could've been helpful if you hadn't sent them away. You could've forced them to tell us where they took Hazel." A part of me blames this woman for Hazel's kidnapping, but somehow, I know that's actually not the case. Somehow, I know that this woman tried to save her, but she was unsuccessful.

"I'm sorry, sweetie," the woman says apologetically, laying a gentle hand on my shoulder. "We'll get her back, I promise."

I suddenly frown at her calling me by that nickname again. Seriously, what is up with her? "Why do you keep calling me 'sweetie?'" I ask in almost a demand, pushing her hand away. "Who are you?" Clearly, she's using that nickname—a nickname that my mother-guardian always used with me—like she knows me, but I don't know anything about her, except that she's been stalking me my whole life.

She then straightens up. "I think you know exactly who I am, Nova Susan Song," she says, using my full name, which sends creepy vibes up my spine. "You've seen me watching over you and protecting you while you were growing up. It's what any mother would do for her child."

"Your child?" I ask, puzzled. A part of me believes everything that she is saying, but I can't seem to shake the feeling that I actually do know exactly who she is. She clearly knows my true name, and the way she said it was like she was the one who came up with the name all those years ago; more than that, our surnames are exactly the same, and we look similar in appearance. And the fact that she called me her 'child,' that can only mean one thing…

"Wait…" I exclaim in shock, the realization finally dawning on me. "You're my—?"

"Yes, sweetie," the woman nods with a smile. "I am your mother…the original, you might say."

Chapter Text

“Right, shall we go and meet your father now?” She then starts wandering down the alleyway at a brisk pace, seemingly anxious to escape the insanity of what happened just seconds ago. I know I am.

Though, at the same time, I can’t help but feel like I’ve been left on tenterhooks. Really? I think as I just stare, flabbergasted, at her. You just shared a big reveal that I don’t even know how to trust, and now you want to switch topics to my father? Not to mention that we barely survived an onslaught of eye-patched maniacs that almost beat us senseless—well, me, anyway.

Also, now that she has finally given me this big reveal, I can’t help but think of the scene in Star Wars where Darth Vader revealed to Luke Skywalker that he was his father. Not that this woman—River—was evil like Darth Vader; although I don’t actually know that, seeing as we’ve only just met…properly now. Despite everything, now I know how Luke felt when he discovered the truth about his arch-nemesis.

After finally managing to find my voice, I say uncertainly as I rush after her, leaving the body behind, which I’m still not comfortable with, “Um…sure, but shouldn’t we talk about you first?”

“What’s there to talk about me?” she says with a shrug. “My life is boring compared to your father’s.”

I continue staring at her, completely astounded. ‘Boring?’ You shot down twelve people in under five freaking seconds! Okay, so I wasn’t actually keeping count of how many people she shot, but it was pretty darn close to that amount. “Um…okay,” I say out loud, still feeling a bit of mistrust toward her, “but I still need to know—”

“Know what?” River says in an offended tone. “Whether or not you can trust me? Sweetie, I’m your mother; of course, you can trust me. I saved your life, didn’t I?”

I am taken a bit back by her words. “Well…yeah, but…” Not knowing what to say to ease the tension between us, I say with a sigh, “I’m sorry. My trust in people is very low nowadays. Then again, you probably know that, if you truly have been ‘watching over me’ for as long as you say. Several times in my life, I was almost killed, and what happened just now took the cake.” Seriously, it’s the truth! I thought the school intruder and Sontaran incidents were terrifying, but the time of when I was being attacked in the alleyway was the most scared I’ve ever been in my entire life. If the woman hadn’t shown up when she did…

“I know,” she says sympathetically. “Again, I’m sorry. We will get your friend back, I promise.” She then smiles. “So, what is it you want to know about me, while we’re taking this nice stroll?”

“Well, everything, honestly,” I shrug. How that's not obvious to you, I have no idea. “What is your name? Where are you from? How did you meet my father? Granted, those are only a handful of questions, but I have loads more.” Hoards more. I’ve known this woman’s name for a while, but a small part of me tells me not to let her know that I already know her name (I’m not sure why), so I decide to ask her anyway.

River sighs. “Well, most of them are complicated to answer, but for now I’ll tell you who I am and where I’m from. My name is River Song, but my birth name is Melody Pond. I am a doctor, and now professor, of archaeology. I was not born on Earth. I was actually born on an asteroid in the far future called Demons Run; though that particular story is one that should be saved for another time, perhaps one that should be shared with your father. Speaking of which, we’re almost there.” She starts picking up the pace after she says that last phrase.

“And then you were trained as an assassin to kill my father?” I ask as I struggle to keep up with her speed. A small part of me doesn’t want to believe that that is the case, but I want to confirm it anyway.

“How did you know that?” she turns back to me with a frown.

“He told me in a letter he sent me,” I say with a shrug; although, I’m shocked that she didn’t know that. I would’ve thought my father had gotten permission from her before he told me her story, as disturbing as it was when I first read it. “He said you killed him with some poison that could disable a Time Lord’s ability to regenerate, but then you saved him by giving up your abilities. To be honest, I didn’t really understand why you suddenly decided to save him immediately after killing him. What happened back then?” I then think about asking her how she gave up her abilities, but something in the back of my mind tells me to ask about that later. I then look around and notice that she seems to know exactly where she’s going, turning toward specific directions like there are signs on the walls that only she can see (which would be strange, because seeing as we’re both Time Lords, I should be able to see them too, right?). I then ask, “Also, you seem to know exactly where you’re going. How? This place is like a maze!”

River’s expression seems to change. When I asked about her story, she seemed hesitant to tell it the more I asked; now she seems relieved that I have changed the subject…though not entirely, to be honest. “The story about how I gave up my Time Lord abilities is another story to be saved for another time,” she says. “As for how I seem to know exactly where I’m going, I have a very keen sense of direction. In fact, if I’m correct, the TARDIS should be just around this corner. Ah, there she is!”

I am about to ask what a TARDIS is when I am suddenly rendered speechless after I turn around the corner and see a large blue box—the blue box—standing casually on the other side. I suddenly find myself pausing in my tracks and just staring at the box in awe. Is this really here? I ponder, my body suddenly becoming a lifeless statue. Or am I just imagining it? Am I going mad?

“Well come on then!” the woman who claimed to be my mother calls to me from the side of the box, having already walked all the way there without me. “We shan’t keep your father waiting. He’s been dying to meet you properly for a very long time.”

In that moment, I am able to snap myself out of the trance I unknowingly got myself into. “But…it’s a box,” I say as I cautiously approach it, like it is a monster that is going to eat me if I come too close. “No way more than two people would be able to fit in there… Right?” I slowly reach out and touch the wooden bordering, and when my hand comes in contact with the smooth surface, I am hit with a strong sense of familiarity, like I’ve returned to an old friend whom I haven’t seen in years.  

“You’d be surprised,” River smirks at me from off to the side. “Never judge a book by its cover.”

“What, you’re saying it’s bigger on the inside, or something?” I chuckle jokingly, although I can’t help but feel like it’s not a joke. A strange memory of a massive room with bright lights and unearthly droning noises floods my mind, and I get the sense that that very room is somehow on the other side of this door.

But that’s silly, I chuckle to myself. Nothing can be bigger than its exterior. That’s impossible…right?

“Snap your fingers and find out,” River says, her smirk never faltering from her face.

“Snap my fingers?” I frown, puzzled at the unusual request. “Why?”

“Just do it,” she urges me, and I feel no choice but to do what she says.

Instinctively, I snap my fingers, expecting nothing to happen, but I am proven wrong when the doors of the blue box, which River had dubbed ‘the TARDIS,’ open, revealing an impossible room within. “Whoa…” I exclaim in shock. “That…that’s not real.” This has to be an illusion; I think to myself. It has to be. I peek around the back of the box, expecting it to be connected to the wall, but there is a narrow gap between the wall and the back, proving there to be no connection at all. “What the heck? How is it doing that? No way can this be real! This can’t be possible! Not on this planet, anyway.” The only way for something like this to be possible is for it to be from some other world; that’s the only logical explanation.  

“You’re absolutely right,” River nods, confirming my theory. “It’s Time Lord technology; it’s often used to make things bigger on the inside, amongst other uses. Go on, make yourself at home. This is your home, after all.”

I frown. What? Is she for real? “This box is my home?” I then look at the impossible interior, that strange sense of familiarity seemingly growing stronger. “I mean…it does look familiar,” I admit before I instinctively step inside.

The room is massive, with bright lights and that familiar droning sound, only this time it sounds like breathing, like the place is alive. Various sets of stairs seem to go in different directions, making the room look as if an Escher painting threw up in here, and then went steampunk shortly after. One set of stairs leads up to an octagonal glass platform with a large column suspended in the center, and other sets of stairs lead in other directions, seemingly right through the walls, leading to…somewhere—somewhere that shouldn’t exist beyond the room’s exterior’s dimensions. Admittedly, it’s the most magnificent room I have ever seen, like something right out of a Sci-Fi movie.

“Wow!” I exclaim in awe as I wander further into the room, much further than where the rest of the box is supposed to end, which should’ve been at least three feet past the doors. “This place is amazing! It’s beautiful! Impossible, but beautiful!” I then turn back to River, who had entered shortly after me, closing the doors behind her. “Although, I get the feeling like I’ve just stepped inside a Sci-Fi movie, 'cause if I didn’t know better, I’d say this was a—”

“A spaceship?” a deep male voice says from behind, finishing my sentence at the same time. Startled, I turn to see a tall floppy-haired man, dressed in a striped tweed jacket over a checkered white dress shirt, black jeans, and a bow tie, step out from behind the other side of the strange column at the center of the elevated platform. “You’d be absolutely right if you did know better. Actually, you’d be half-right, 'cause this place is actually a spaceship as well as a time-machine. I’ll explain later.” He then smiles down at me from the top of the stairs. “Hello, Nova. It’s nice to finally meet you properly, and all grown up, I might add. You’ve become quite the beautiful young woman, just like your mother. Although, I must say, you took a tremendous risk leaving home.”

“Um…thanks,” I say awkwardly. “Uh, not about me leaving home, but about…the other thing.” Obviously, I know leaving home was a huge mistake, considering what happened in the alleyway. I don’t care much for the reminder. I then shake my head from the embarrassment and shamefulness. “I’m sorry, do I know you? 'Cause I feel like I should.”  

So much for putting on a good first impression, I think sarcastically, but I also can’t help but feel like I’m having another ‘Star Wars’ moment, feeling like I know exactly what this mysterious man is going to say next.

His smile seems to falter a bit when he says sadly, “Yes, you should; however, it’s not your fault that you don’t.” He doesn’t say whose fault it actually is; not that he has to, because we all know the answer to that. Instead, he introduces himself, saying, “I’m the Doctor. I am also your father.”

I knew it, I think to myself. As he starts walking slowly down the stairs to greet me properly, I can tell that we also look a lot alike. We share the same chin—the same chin that has given me much ridicule over the years—and the same eyes. I can now understand why people in the past have said that my eyes appear to be much older than the rest of me, because this man’s—the Doctor’s, my father’s—eyes make him appear the same way. Looking into his eyes, I can see his true age through them—twelve-hundred years old, like he said his age was in his letter. His eyes briefly make me wonder what he has seen in all those years, what horrors he has had to witness, what he has lost…

What I will witness and lose as I come to that age…if I come to that age.

Suddenly feeling awkward, I shake my head again and say, “Wow. Now I know how Luke Skywalker felt.”

“Luke Skywalker?” the Doctor asks, puzzled.

“You know, the main protagonist in the Star Wars films?” I explain. “His arch-nemesis is Darth Vader, who is also his dad?” I pause, noticing the Doctor’s puzzled expression doesn’t falter; in fact, he seems to look even more puzzled the more I talk about it. “Seriously, how can you not know Star Wars? Anyway, the moment when Luke found out Vader was his father was one of the biggest reveals in Sci-Fi history. I’m just saying, now I understand how Luke felt.” I pause again, feeling more awkward. “Uh, not that you’re evil, or anything; I’m sure you’re a very nice guy.” I then shake my head again and sigh. God, I am seriously botching things up right now. “Sorry for my awkward rambling. It’s a bad habit, I know. Also, sorry if I spoiled the franchise for you. I tend to have a habit of spoiling things as well.”

After mentioning the scene from the franchise, I instantly think back to the memory of when I first showed Hazel the Star Wars films, and I had accidentally let slip that Darth Vader was Luke Skywalker’s father, as well as Princess Leia being Luke’s twin sister, and Hazel was appalled that I had spoiled the plot for her. As humorous as her reaction was, I also felt angry with myself for revealing those things so early, and therefore ruining the excitement of the scene once it appeared onscreen. Admittedly, I still feel guilty about it to this day.

“Actually, I beg to differ on the ‘rambling’ habit,” my father says honestly. “I find that it’s quite useful for a number of different reasons. As for your ‘spoiling’ habit, we’ll soon fix that.” He then glances to my mother. “Won’t we, River?”

“Of course, we will, my love,” she nods with a smile. “After all, the concealment of spoilers is crucial in the world of time-travel.”

“Quite right,” the Doctor agrees. “Couldn’t have phrased it better myself.”

I am suddenly dumbfounded. What are these people talking about? “‘We?’” I ask, puzzled. “Also, ‘time-travel?’ I mean, I know you said this place was a time-machine as well as a spaceship, but I thought you just said that to pull my leg.” I am still struggling to understand how all of this can be possible. Then again, I’ve dealt with the impossible my whole life, but this—this takes the cake.

“No, I was being completely serious,” he says, shaking his head. “This place, it’s called the TARDIS. It’s an acronym that stands for ‘Time and Relative Dimension in Space.’ Your namesake actually came up with the name ‘TARDIS,’ and it has stuck ever since.”

“My namesake?” I ask. “That being Nova or Susan?”

“Susan,” he confirms. “She was my granddaughter. Of course, that was a long time ago, long before I met your mother. Many centuries before.”

I raise my eyebrows in amazement. “Wow. And you haven’t had a child since then?” I can’t imagine not being a mother for several centuries on end. I don’t think I could bear it.

“Well, not in the ‘traditional’ sense,” the Doctor explains. “I did have another daughter that was a generated anomaly from a cell scrape on the back of my hand. We—me and Donna, who was my friend at the time—named her Jenny as a result.”

I nod in understanding. “Ah! ‘Jenny,’ ‘generated!’ I get it!” Also, the thought of having a sister somewhere out there greatly excites me. Perhaps she’s gone through the same situations as me, struggling to understand who and what she is. Perhaps she has been hunted by the Silence as well.

His expression then morphs back to sadness when he says, “Unfortunately, Jenny was killed, and she couldn’t be saved.”

Those words felt like a stab to one of my hearts, the hope that there was someone else out there in the universe whom I could’ve shared my experiences and complications with now gone. “Aw, I’m sorry to hear that,” I say sympathetically. “That must’ve been really hard for you.”

“It was,” he says with tears in his eyes, which he tries to hide by wiping them away with his jacket sleeve.

Before he goes into a full emotional breakdown, I say, changing the subject, “Speaking of ‘killed,’ you said in your letter that River—uh, Mom—once killed you, but she brought you back to life by giving up all her Time Lord abilities. But the one thing I didn’t understand was why she decided to save your life immediately after killing you.” I then turn to River and ask again, “What exactly happened back then? Why did you want to kill him in the first place, and then suddenly want to save him the next? You said earlier that you’d explain.” She said that this was a topic that should be shared with my father, and now that I am with both of my parents, it seems like the time for her to explain; although, she seems hesitant again, like it’s a very disturbing story that she doesn’t want me to know, knowing it would upset me or lose my trust in her. She glances uneasily to her husband as a way of pleading with him not to force her to reveal her story.

But the Doctor isn’t so merciful to her. “Tell her, River,” he says calmly with a small nod. “She has a right to know. In fact, she needs to know what we’ve been up against. It’s why we had to do what we did.”

Those words instantly make me have the sense that I know what he’s talking about. “What?” I ask nervously, glancing between them with a frown. “Is this about the Silence? Is this why you gave me up, that being the ‘thing’ that you did?”

With a heavy sigh, River approaches me and wraps her arm around me. “We’ll explain, but first let’s sit down.” She then leads me up the stairs to the elevated platform and past the strange column, that I can now tell is a control console, likely used to fly the spacecraft to different places in the universe, as well as times. She seats me down on the bottom step leading up to another hallway and takes a seat next to me, still keeping her arm around me, like she’s using me as a crutch to keep her from falling over. The Doctor sits on the chair next to us, a grave expression on his face, like he doesn’t want to share the story either but doesn’t have a choice. Their expressions increase my anxiety and fear of finding out just what my parents are truly like.

“First of all, let me tell you the story of how I came to know your father,” River says before telling her story. “After I was born, I was forcibly taken from my parents to be raised as a trained killer against the Doctor. For the majority of my childhood, I was raised to believe that the Doctor was the enemy, and one that should be eliminated, although I never knew why at the time. My ‘mother’ at the time, Madame Kovarian, as well as some of her followers and a race of aliens known as the Silence, put me through a series of exercises to turn me into the perfect weapon against the Doctor. Of course, I had no choice but to do the exercises, though I never knew why, except that I was told that I would be severely punished if I refused to do as I was told.”

Geez, I say in my head, feeling disturbed. It sounds like Kovarian was a terrible mother if you can even call her that. To be forced into doing something you don’t want to do, become something you don’t want to become, believe something that is actually false—how cruel is that?

“One day, when I was in 1969 Florida, they forced me into an astronaut suit, which they upgraded with alien tech to move autonomously and to control my every movement,” she continues. “At the time, they were testing it to make sure it would work for my time to kill the Doctor, but I managed to break out of it and flee to a small town in England, where I met my parents as kids, but not before I regenerated into my next body from living homeless on the streets of New York City for several months.”

“Whoa, wait!” I interrupt, feeling greatly confused at her words. “How could you have met your parents as kids?”

“It’s complicated,” River smiles. “Even though I was their daughter, they couldn’t know that, so I grew up alongside them as their best friend.” She then glances up at her husband. “And then, finally, I met the Doctor. He was my parents’ best friend, but I still believed him to be the enemy, despite my parents’ stories. We all took a trip to Berlin in 1938 where I revealed who I was to my parents, and where I ultimately killed the Doctor with poisonous lipstick.”

“From the Judas Tree, which disables a Time Lord’s ability to regenerate,” I say in confirmation, remembering that being mentioned in my father’s letter.

“Correct,” River nods. “The Doctor ended up dying, but my parents showed me who I truly was—how I was this enigmatic woman who deeply loved the Doctor and would do anything for him. They told me that the Doctor was always worth it, and I realized that everything Kovarian told me about him was a lie. Once I knew, I used up my remaining regenerations to resurrect him, and I gradually came to love him for who he truly was and still is to this day—a good man.”

At this point, I glance to my father and see him shed a small tear at my mother’s words. He swiftly wipes it away, but I smile at him and pat him gently on the knee as a way of telling him that it’s okay. He smiles appreciatively in return.   

“I then pursued my archaeology degree,” River continues, “but I was captured again and replaced in the astronaut suit to be later dumped into a lake in Utah to wait out the years to kill the Doctor again on 22 April 2011 at 5:02pm, which was considered a fixed point in Time and was something that couldn’t be prevented.” She then smirks. “But I was able to drain my weapons systems and change the fixed point where the Doctor wouldn’t die, but it caused all of Time to happen at once, and the only way to fix it was for the Doctor and I to make physical contact and return to the lake where I would shoot and kill him. Luckily, the Doctor came up with a genius way to survive, the nostalgic idiot that he is.” At these words, I see the Doctor smirk and snigger under his breath. “He used a robot, operated my miniature time-traveling people, to disguise as him to take his place at the lake; in fact, in the alternate timeline, he was the robot the entire time.”

“So, the robot was always the one that would ‘die’ instead?” I ask to better understand her story. “You shooting the robot was always the fixed point? Not that you can kill a robot.”

“Precisely,” the Doctor nods. “Time said I had to be there, but it didn’t say which version of me would have to be there. So, I got creative.”

I chuckle. “That’s awesome. You sure fooled them, huh?” I can imagine the looks on the Silence’s faces when they found out that he didn’t actually die. Priceless! Though the initial shock didn’t last long, as they likely went back to their plotting shortly after; and now that they found out the Doctor and River had a child—me—they have now decided to include me in their sinister plots…or rather they tried to, if it weren’t for River saving me earlier. Even then, I’m pretty sure they’re not going to stop until they get their hands on me, and apparently, they’re using Hazel and my guardians as bait to get to me, which angers me to my core.   

“Maybe,” River says, glaring at the Doctor, “but I still haven’t forgiven him for it.”

“Why?” I ask, puzzled. After all, he survived in a very clever way. If he hadn’t, I obviously wouldn’t be here.  

“He made me witness it a second time,” she explains with a hint of anger in her tone.

“What?” I say incredulously, turning to my father. “Why would you do that?”

Of course, when it’s the end, you call your friends, family, people you trust, knowing it’s far better to die among those you care about. At the time, my father must’ve thought that and invited his friends, including my mother, to be with him when the time came. Though, apparently, according to her story, my mother was there twice, being at the lakeside witnessing from afar, as well as being the astronaut that was about to take the deadly shot and supposedly ‘end’ his life. Anybody else that was there, most likely my mother’s parents—my grandparents—would not have known that this ‘death’ was a fake, but my mother couldn’t tell them, knowing that their reactions had to be believable in order to trick the Silence, who may have also been watching at the time. Also, having to witness herself murdering her lover, despite the murder being fake, is still a disturbing sight to see. Knowing this, I would understand why she would be angry for having to witness it a second time.

“Because she needed to know that it was inevitable and was something that could never be prevented,” he confesses calmly. “Of course, I forgave her for everything that happened between us, for all the times she tried to kill me under the Silence’s influence.”

“Well, you got over all that stuff, right?” I ask, turning back to River. “Whatever they put into your head to make you view him as the enemy, it has no control over you anymore, right? Like, you’re not going to randomly feel the need to kill him again?” Or me? I think but do not say.

“No,” she says, shaking her head honestly. She then glances to the Doctor, seemingly thinking better. “Although, if he does anything stupid, I might.” Her words instantly make me feel a slight fear for my father’s safety, as does he, though I’m ninety percent sure she is joking…I think. She is armed with a gun, after all.

“So, what about the Silence?” I ask, knowing they are the ones responsible for everything my parents, as well as my grandparents, have gone through all these years, and who are also responsible for everything I’ve been through, being separated from my true family, because of their constant hunt for me. “They’re obviously your greatest enemies right now. Our greatest enemies,” I correct myself. “Who exactly are they?”

“Like I said, the Silence—rather 'Silents,' spelt with a 'T-S' rather than 'C-E'—is an alien species that could delete themselves from your memory,” River explains, “as well as put commands into your head, but you forget who gave you the command after you’ve looked away from them, but you retain memory of the command. Like Post-Hypnotic Suggestion.”

“They control people with Post-Hypnotic Suggestion?” I say, feeling highly disturbed at the thought. “That’s twisted. Who knows how long they’ve done that to you while you were growing up with them.”

“Several times, from what I can gather,” she admits, seeming just as disturbed, if not more so, since she has experienced it herself. 

“But you don’t remember what they look like?” I point out.  

River shakes her head. “No. Even after looking at a photograph, once you look away, you forget everything about them, except any commands they may have given you before you looked away.”

“God, that’s so creepy,” I say, feeling a slight chill run down my spine. “I would imagine they look very ugly. If that’s the case, maybe it’s a good thing we can’t remember what they look like.” I suddenly have a disturbing thought of the possibility of running into one of these creatures in the past, but I obviously don’t remember the encounter. Who knows what it had done to me during that time—what twisted thoughts it may have put into my mind—if that had actually happened.

“Maybe,” River says with a slight chuckle.

“And what about those eye-patched freaks?” I say, suddenly thinking about them. “Who were they, the Silence’s followers?”

River nods. “Yes. I mentioned before that my former guardian has a large group of followers, the Silence species being among them. Those with the eye-patch are servants of the Silence.”

“And I take it that those aren’t actual eye-patches?” I say knowingly. “They’re not wearing them because they lost an eye?”

River shakes her head. “No. It’s called an iDrive. It connects with the memory centers of the brain to allow you to remember what the Silence look like. It’s the only thing that works on them.”

“They called themselves something…” I say, suddenly remembering the strange name they used. “‘Vodka,’ or ‘Valkyrie,’ or something.”

“Vokanari,” my father chimes in. “That’s what they call themselves now. It’s another name for their group. They used to be called ‘The Kovarian Chapter’, or simply ‘The Silence.’ Now they call themselves ‘The Vokanari,’ which, we found out recently, is an anagram of ‘Kovarian.’”

“So, if you rearrange the letters, you get ‘Vokanari?’” I ask to confirm his statement.

“Correct,” he nods.

I frown, feeling disturbed. “Wow, that’s…I want to say ‘clever,’ but that’s actually creepier than anything else.” Of course, to better hide their identity, they took the name of their leader and simply rearranged the letters to turn it into a seemingly completely different name for their group, even though it’s actually the same name. This seems to show just how sinister the group really is.

“Yes, quite,” the Doctor agrees.

“And apparently these guys want you dead,” I say knowingly. “In fact, they want me to ‘be the face of their cause,’ whatever that means.”

“It means they want you to be their new weapon against me,” the Doctor confirms, “to take your mother’s place since she obviously failed to kill me.” He then turns to my mother with a grave look, which she returns. “And that’s what worries us.”

“But why?” I ask, in total disbelief that this is what’s been going on in our lives. “Why do they hate you so much to want you dead? Not that you have to worry about me, because I want absolutely nothing to do with them, nor wanting to kill you guys.” Yes, they’re my parents, but they’re also still complete strangers to me. Even I wouldn’t want to kill a complete stranger, unless said complete stranger actually has bad intentions, unlike my bio-parents, who have proven from their stories that they would do anything to protect me.  

“They don’t ‘hate’ me, per se,” the Doctor says with a slight shrug. “They just don’t want me to remain alive to reveal a secret that may put the entire universe at risk.”

Same thing, isn’t it? I think but do not say. “What secret?” I ask out loud.

“The answer to a question,” he answers. “‘The oldest question in the universe, hidden in plain sight.’” He said that last statement like he was quoting something, like a prophecy.

“What’s the question?” I ask curiously.

“‘Doctor who?’” River replies with a slight murmur to her voice, as if there is someone else in this room who might be listening.

Ignoring the weird feeling, I say, “Oh, I get it! The question is literally ‘hidden in plain sight,’ in this case, your name—rather, your title. You call yourself ‘the Doctor,’ and of course the one question people would immediately ask is ‘Doctor who?’ That makes total sense!”

“Exactly,” the Doctor nods, “but there’s more, a whole prophecy. ‘On the Fields of Trenzalore, at the Fall of the Eleventh, where no living creature can speak falsely or fail to answer, a question will be asked; a question that must never be answered.’ Or, to put it more simply, ‘Silence will fall when the Question is asked.’”

“‘Silence will fall?’” I ask, puzzled. “What does that mean? Also, why are the Silence so scared to know your name, which, I’m assuming, is your big secret? I mean, it can’t be bad, like ‘Voldemort,’ can it? What even is your name? Am I allowed to know it?”

Instead of answering, my father says, “Let me ask you this: Suppose you knew someone who knew a secret, a terrible, dangerous secret that must never be told. How would you erase that secret—destroy it forever—before it can be spoken? Be honest.”

I take a few seconds to mull over the question. I know that the best way to destroy a secret entirely is to destroy the very thing that the secret lies within—its owner. “Well…” I say after a while, “depending on the secret, if I had to…I’d destroy the person who owns it.”

“And then silence would fall,” he nods, confirming my answer to be correct. “You destroy the person, the person’s secret dies with him.”

“I mean…that does make sense,” I say, feeling highly disturbed at the idea of having to kill my own father because of a secret, no matter how terrible that secret may be. “So that’s why the Silence—Vokanari—want you dead? They don’t want your big secret—your name—to be revealed?”

He nods with River. “We believe so, yes. That’s what they planned to do in Utah, but obviously that didn’t work.”

“Am I allowed to know your name?” I ask curiously, although I’m not sure if I want to know it or not. “I promise I won’t tell.” If it comes down to it, would I have to be destroyed, too, if that’s truly the secret that shouldn’t be told?

My father chuckles. “Perhaps one day…but not today.”

“Why not?” I say a little disappointedly. “Mom told me hers; why can’t you?” For a nanosecond, I pause, realizing that I’d just called River ‘Mom,’ despite her still being a complete stranger to me. I swiftly cough it up to it just being an instinctive response, though I don’t know why.    

He then reaches out and ruffles my hair as he says, “Like you said, spoiling things is a bad habit for you. We need to fix that before I tell you any more secrets, especially that one.”

I sigh. “Well, if there’s one secret I should be allowed to know, it’s the location of where those sickos took Hazel. It’s my fault they took her. Splitting up was the worst idea, same for leaving my guardians without saying goodbye. Now they’ve been taken as well.” I then pause, suddenly realizing something. “Wait! This is a time-machine, right? Couldn’t we just travel to my guardians’ house from before the sickos arrived and save them?” This way, I can make up for my mistakes, and therefore they wouldn’t have gotten hurt because of me.   

The Doctor shakes his head, and my hope of saving them diminishes. “Unfortunately, no can do,” he says apologetically. “Rule One of time-travel: never go back on your own timeline and change something that’s already happened.”

“Says the guy who goes back on his own timeline all the time,” River scoffs, like that is something he has done before, apparently a lot.  

My father rolls his eyes. “Okay, fair point. I’ll admit, it’s a bad habit, but I don’t want it to be a bad habit for Nova as well.”

“It’s not like I’ll be running into myself,” I say with a shrug, recalling some moments in other Sci-Fi movies I’ve seen, where a character crosses paths with himself from the future or past, resulting in something terrible happening. “It’ll be at a time shortly after I left.”

“It doesn’t matter,” he insists, shaking his head. “There’d still be two of you at the same time, and for you, that could be catastrophic.”

“Why?” I ask. What’s wrong with having two of me in one time, being in two completely different places?

“By now, you’re probably aware that Time Lords can attract a lot of… ‘unwanted beings’ to your location,” the Doctor explains with a sigh. “Beings that can sense your Time Energy. That’s why we can’t stay in one place for long. That’s also probably why so many beings have tried to kill you in the past.”

I nod with a raised eyebrow. “Yeah, I often wondered that.”

“You’re much more powerful than you think, Nova,” he admits honestly. “Because your energy is so powerful, you attract all kinds of danger to yourself, but obviously it’s not by choice, because it’s the energy inside you that’s making you appear so powerful to them.”

“Is there a way of getting rid of it?” I ask, already well aware of what he is talking about. Suddenly thinking better, remembering what my mother told me of what she did for my father many years ago, I turn to her and say, “I mean, of course there’s a way. You did it.”

“I did,” she nods, “but that was a long time ago. My memory of how I did it is a little fuzzy.”

“Well, maybe if I helped you jog your memory, you could teach me,” I suggest, my anxiety increasing. “I could give up my powers, and then I’d be human. I’d be normal.” Of course, this was the main reason why I wanted to find my bio-parents—so they could help me do this very thing; so I can have a normal life, so I would never have to be hunted for my powers ever again.  

But my father seems to strongly disagree with me because he says sadly, “Sorry, Nova. I’m afraid you can’t do that. Simply giving up your powers won’t turn you human; you’d still be Time Lord either way, especially since you were born from two Time Lords—well, a Time Lord and a half. As long as you’re outside the TARDIS, you would be in danger at all times, whether you have powers or not. That’s why you can never settle anywhere for very long.”

His words hit me like a stab to both hearts simultaneously, and I suddenly feel as if I can never catch my breath again because of the imaginary blades stuck in my hearts. I look up at him, frowning, feeling angered, “So you’re saying that, because I’m Time Lord—because I’m not human—I can’t ever have a normal life again? I can’t ever go home again?” How could he say that to me? What kind of a father does that to his child?

He shakes his head, suddenly feeling flustered. “No, I’m not saying that. Although…maybe I am saying that.”

Suddenly feeling angrier than before, I rise up from the step and pace toward the door, my head spinning and my hearts pounding. He totally is saying that! How could he? How could anyone, especially my own father? How can anyone live like this?

“Nova…” he says my name in a concerned tone, rising up from his seat, but I walk away from him. I don’t want him anywhere near me!

Breathless, I say, “This is…this is too much. I…I can’t do this! I don’t want this life!” I then rush to the door and open it, preparing to leave the Doctor and River Song—who are not my true parents, but are monsters, especially the Doctor—behind forever.

“Nova, wait!” the Doctor calls after me, but I don’t want to hear any more of what he has to say…not ever again.

“Leave me alone!” I scream at him. “Get away from me!” I then run away from the impossible blue box and flee back to the hotel, never looking back.

Chapter Text

I run.

I run, and I run, and I run, and I don’t stop running until I am in the safety of my hotel room, but even once I return, I still feel trapped.

Trapped in a world that doesn’t make sense.

Trapped in a life that I don’t want to live anymore.

And there is no way out. No escape. Not even throwing myself over the edge of the balcony would end it, because I’ll just regenerate and start all over again, but it won’t be any different. It will be the exact same as it has always been, and nothing can change it. Not ever.

I wish it never happened. I wish I never regenerated; then my life wouldn’t be like it is—a big, messy wad of complicated. My life made sense before I regenerated; more than that, it was normal…but ever since it happened, my life has been anything but normal, and it will never be normal again.

That has been confirmed. By him. My father.

No, I correct myself immediately, that monster. That monster who claimed to be my father but isn’t. That monster who wears that tweed jacket and bow tie like a trophy he earned for doing something heroic. But he is no hero to me, and he never will be. I never want to see him again. He ruined my life, and I will never forgive him for it. Ever!

I am certainly never going back to that box—that impossible, freakish blue box with its vast interior. It was like being in another world, another dimension, and it was just too weird to be real. River claimed that it was my home, but I can’t see how that can ever happen, especially when nothing like that should even exist. Something like that can only ever exist in Sci-Fi movies, but it was real, clear as day. I could touch it, I could walk all over it, I could breathe its air…everything about it was one hundred percent real, without a doubt. How all of that is possible, I have no idea, but I don’t care, because I’m never going back. That freak-show of a box can fly away for all I care, and I wouldn’t be disappointed if it never comes back. In fact, I’d prefer that. I’d be much happier if I never saw it, as well as those freaks that are my bio-parents, again. I feel ashamed to be a daughter to people like them.

In anger, I pull out the Doctor’s necklace from under my shirt, yank it off from around my neck, and chuck it across the room. The necklace slides across the carpet and into a dark corner behind the massive armoire against the far wall, across from Hazel’s bed.

Hazel… It’s my fault that she’s gone. It’s my fault they’re all gone, including my guardians, who have always been my real parents. My true parents. I should never have left them, especially without saying goodbye. I could’ve saved them if I stayed. I was a horrible daughter, as well as a horrible friend, for leaving them.

There is a saying that “love heals a broken heart,” but there is no one I love anymore that can heal both of mine. All of the people I love are gone, taken from me without warning, and I may never see them again. By now, they could all be dead, and their deaths were because of me, because I failed to save them when I should have.

Oh, Haze, I sob uncontrollably in my pillow, Mom, Dad… I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. Please come back to me. I can’t live like this…not without you.

Suddenly, there is a light knock on my hotel room door, which is weird, because I know I put the ‘do not disturb’ sign up the second I returned. I ignore it, however, thinking it to be one of the cleaning ladies or a guest who mistook my room for theirs. In any case, they’ll eventually leave if I don’t answer, so I stay put on my bed as I wipe my eyes dry. My only concern is that the knocker is another eye-patched freak who is here to snatch me or kill me, but my senses tell me that is not the case, which gives me some relief.

Luckily, the voice of the knocker is one that I recognize; though a small part of me hoped that it wasn’t her, as he may have accompanied her, no doubt to make my life even more miserable than it already is.

“Nova?” River calls through the door, knocking again. “It’s me, River!” I ignore her, turning away from the door, hoping she will eventually leave, but she doesn’t. After a short pause, she knocks a third time and says in a more insistent tone, “Nova, sweetie, I know you’re in there. Please let me in.”

“Go away!” I yell angrily, feeling more tears brimming in my eyes. “I don’t want to talk to you! I don’t want to talk to anyone! Especially him!” If she brought the Doctor with her, I am certainly not opening the door. He can go to Hell after what he said to me earlier. No one tells me how to live my life, certainly not him, whether he’s blood or not. Besides all of that, how can she even be up here, especially without a keycard? I briefly ponder to myself.

“He’s not with me,” River says a little more calmly. “And no, I can’t leave you. I’m sorry, Nova; you’re not safe alone.”

“I don’t care!” I say, my anger growing hotter in my veins. “Please leave before I call the cops!” If a threat like that won’t make her leave, I don’t know what will. I mean, ninety percent of the time the threat does the trick to scare people off quite easily (even at times when the police aren’t actually called); surely, it’ll work the same on her, right?

There is a long pause, suggesting that she had possibly left. Feeling unsure, I glance back toward the door, expecting her to break it down, but nothing happens.

That is, until her voice startles me right out of my skin, making both hearts jump to my throat. “The police can’t help you,” she says, having materialized next to me out of nowhere. “I can.”

“Geez!” I exclaim out of shock. “How did you get in here?” There is absolutely no way she could have entered without opening the door. How the freak did she do it?!

“Through the front door,” River admits. “Literally.” She then lifts her arm, revealing the strange device strapped around her wrist. “I used this to put myself a second out of sync with Time to walk through the door. It’s called a Vortex Manipulator. I’ll teach you how to use it sometime.”

I shake my head, my anger increasing even more, especially over the fact that she had refused to leave and, instead, broke into my room without my permission. “Whatever gibberish you just said, I’m not interested!” I say firmly. “In fact, I’m not interested in anything to do with you, especially him! Whatever life he has planned for me, I don’t want it, so just leave! Leave me alone!” Sobbing uncontrollably, I rise from my bed, move to the far side of the room by the window, and collapse on the floor by Hazel’s bed, burying my face in my knees.

Instead of leaving (no surprise) River walks toward me and sits on the floor next to me. “Trust me, Nova, I know how you feel,” she says, her voice filled with genuine sympathy.

Doubtful, I shake my head. “You don’t know a thing about me! I’m a freak!”

“You’re not a freak,” she disagrees. “You’re just…different.”

“Same thing!” I snap back. I am nothing like everybody else on this planet; therefore, I am a freak.

“No!” River insists. “Nova, trust me when I say I know what you’re going through. I’ve been watching you, protecting you, for many years. You’ve been struggling to fit into this world, just like everybody else.”

“And yet you never once talked to me,” I argue. “Helped me when I needed you, like a true mother should.” If she was really my mother, she would’ve stuck up for me in a heartbeat, no questions asked.

“Believe me, sweetie, I wanted to,” she sighs deeply, “but your father—”

“Don’t call him that!” I demand, like the mere mention of the word, especially when it refers to him, leaves a bad taste in the air. “He’s not my father, and he never will be!” Just the mere mention of him embarrasses me.

River sighs again. “Nova, I know this is hard for you. You’re angry and confused, and I don’t blame you. You were born from a race you know nothing about. You’ve lost the people you care about, and you want them back in your life.”

Dear god, why is she doing this to me? I think, my voice sounding desperate. Why can’t she take the hint that I want her gone; gone forever, especially that Doctor?

I can’t stop the tears from rolling down my cheeks. “It’s my fault they’re gone. I should never have left them. I could’ve saved them…protected them. They could be dead, for all I know. Now I’ve got nothing…no one.” I feel more alone now than ever, and I can’t bear a second of it.  

“That’s not true,” River shakes her head, placing her hand on my shoulder, but I don’t acknowledge her. “You’ve got your fath—the Doctor and me. We can help you; in fact, we’re the only ones who can help you.”

“I’m not going back,” I say seriously, meaning every word. “Whatever that…freak-show of a box is, I’m not going back there, especially if he is going to be there.”

“I’m afraid you’ll be disappointed to know that he owns that box,” River says in a ‘sorry, but not sorry’ tone. “In fact, it’s not really a box; it’s just disguised like that.”

“Well, whatever it is,” I say carelessly, “I’m not going back, especially back to him. I never want to see him again.” What is it in her head that’s preventing her from understanding that?

“Sweetie, you must,” River says insistently. “He’s…” She pauses, knowing that the next thing she will say will disappoint me, but she feels obligated to say it anyway. “He’s your father. Like he said before, he’s been wanting to be a father again for centuries. Your father. Please, give him another chance.”

“No!” I scream at her, my anger reaching its peak. “He said I could never have a normal life again. That’s all I’ve ever wanted to be—normal. I’m not going to let him take that away from me! If he wants to take something from me, he can take my powers, because I don’t want them! They’re the reason why I’m like this, whatever I am.” If it wasn’t for my powers, what I was born as, I wouldn’t be the freak that I am. And in no way am I going to give the Doctor a second chance. He doesn’t deserve one after what he said.

“Sweetie, you don’t understand,” River shakes her head with her own tears brimming in her eyes. “Your powers are your greatest gifts. They allow you to be the amazing person you are…not to mention they also can save your life. If you hadn’t been able to regenerate after you reacted badly to the aspirin, you would’ve died. Your regeneration was what saved your life that night.”

“That may be so, but it’s the reason why I’m not human,” I say seriously. “My regeneration was what turned me non-human to begin with. It changed my entire life, and I can’t go back to being who I once was, no matter how much I wish I could.” I sigh, feeling more depressed than before. “I was normal before I regenerated. I wish I hadn’t. Even if the aspirin had killed me, I would rather die than be like this.” I truly mean it. Being normal is far better than being this, and there is nothing that can change my mind.

Near tears, River shakes her head and says, gripping my shoulder even more tightly, “No, Nova, don’t talk like that. You don’t mean that. I know being born different is hard for you, especially being born from a race you don’t even know. Let us help you. We know what it’s like, especially the Doctor. We can help you understand.” She then reaches out and lifts my chin up so our eyes lock with one another. “Please, let us help you,” she says as a single tear rolls down her cheek. “Let us be a family again.”

Her last statement makes a thousand more tears roll down my own cheeks, and now I feel more ashamed than ever, but this time I am ashamed of myself. She is right about everything she said, especially about the Doctor wanting to be a father again, which is something he hasn’t been in a very long time. When he made River pregnant, that, I imagine, was the first time he had felt the joy of being a parent again, but because of the Silence’s obsession with wanting him dead, he felt that keeping me around after my birth was too dangerous, and he had his opportunity of parenthood taken away from him when he gave me up. Now that I am (seemingly) back in his life, he has another opportunity to raise me as his daughter; but because I ran, that opportunity got taken away from him again—one that I took away from him and am now refusing to give back because of my anger and hatred towards him. Like River said, all he wants—all they want—is to be a family again, to bring me back in their lives for good, and I am stubbornly refusing to give them that chance, a chance that they might never have again if I don’t accept their help. Not to mention that they are the only ones who can save my guardians, which I am also refusing their help for. God, I must be a terrible person to them.

Feeling so ashamed of myself that I am suddenly overwhelmed with emotion, I instinctively wrap my arms around River. Despite her still being a stranger to me, but not completely at this point, I am in desperate need of a shoulder to cry on, and hers is the only one available to me. “I’m sorry,” I sob, burying my face in her chest and soaking her blouse with tears.

She wraps her own arms around me and pulls me close. “Hush, my love,” she says calmly, combing her fingers through my tangled hair. “There’s nothing to be sorry for. You’ve been through a tough time. What you’re feeling is absolutely normal. We will get your family back, I promise.”

“I want us to be a family too,” I say honestly, looking up at her. “I want to know who and what I am, and where my place is in the universe.” My birth parents, the Doctor and River Song, are the only ones who can help me see that.

River's words from before she and he gave me up ring in my mind: We shall be together again… Someday. A day which may have finally come. 

“We will do whatever it takes to make that happen,” she promises me, drying my cheeks with her blouse sleeve.

“And I want to stop the Silence—Vokanari—from ever harming us again,” I say seriously. “They’ve kept us apart for too long.” Because of them, I was never able to meet my parents properly, grow up with them like I should have. Because of them, I have spent eighteen years not knowing of my true origins.

“You are absolutely right,” River smiles before standing up. “Come,” she says as she helps me to my own feet, “let’s get back to your father.”

You mean the Doctor; I think about saying but don’t. I still don’t feel comfortable with the idea of returning to him, but something in my gut tells me I don’t have a choice. Considering that I’ve got nowhere else to go, seeing as I don’t have a family to return home to, my only option is that sketchy blue box.

“Not yet,” I say, suddenly realizing that I can’t leave Hazel’s and my belongings here at the hotel. “I want to pack first. Hazel and I were supposed to stay here until we started school, but since she’s M.I.A., and I don’t know if we’re coming back, I need to cancel our stay here.” Once she is safe, we might come back, but there are no guarantees of that happening, certainly not anytime soon.

“Of course,” River nods understandingly. “Let me help.”

“Thank you,” I say appreciatively before we get to work on packing everything. As we work, I tell River not to worry if she combines Hazel’s things with mine; she can just throw everything in bags, and I’d sort them out later.

“How’re we going to get all this stuff back to the alley?” I ask breathlessly after we finish packing. It is going to be a major challenge for us to haul everything back there in one trip, especially in the rain, as it had started raining while we were packing.

“We don’t have to,” River assures me. “The Doctor parked the TARDIS just outside the hotel.” She must have asked him to do that before she chased me back here.

“I’m still not sure I’m ready to go back,” I say, still feeling highly reluctant after the events of earlier. “He really angered me.”

“I know, sweetie,” she says, squeezing my hand comfortingly. “He didn’t mean to.”

“Really?” I say somewhat doubtfully. “Because he sounded like he did mean it.”

She shakes her head. “No, he…” She pauses with a heavy sigh. “He can be stupid sometimes; he doesn’t always think before speaking. Those are the times when you just want to slap him.”

I chuckle. “Did you?”

She smiles. “I did.” She then sighs again with a shrug. “But he also wasn’t wrong about what he said.”

“What do you mean?” I ask, puzzled.

“There are many beings out there that hate us for what we are—Time Lords,” she explains with a hint of contempt in her voice. “They want to expunge us from all creation.”

“Why?” I ask with a frown. Admittedly, that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.

“Why, indeed,” she says somewhat cryptically.

“You don’t know?” I ask uncertainly.

“I do know, but that’s a topic to ask the Doctor,” she admits before shrugging. “Spoilers.”

“Why do you say that?” I ask, feeling slightly annoyed. "Why does everyone say that word?" People have said that word around me all the time, but I never understood why.

“Because now is not the time to ask that question,” River says apologetically. “That’s a topic to be discussed behind closed doors. The TARDIS doors.”

“Is that the reason why I can’t have a normal life?” I ask curiously. “Simply because of what I am?” I still can’t get over that fact. It’s ridiculous!

“That’s not the main reason why,” River admits. “We’ll discuss this once we get back to the TARDIS. The Doctor was going to explain it to you before you ran.”

Those words suddenly leave me speechless as well as immensely guilty.

“Are you ready?” River asks after a few moments as she gathers an armful of Hazel’s and my bags.

I look around the empty hotel room, the space now looking lonelier than ever. Then again, all hotel rooms are like that before guests occupy them, but this room feels especially lonely without Hazel’s carefree laugh filling it. Who knows when her laugh will fill this room again, or it might fill another room, depending on if we return or not. In the meantime, someone else’s laugh will have to take up the space without us.

Do I really have a choice? I say in my head as an answer, but instead, I answer out loud, “Yeah.” With nothing more to say, I turn off the light and exit the room with River, dragging the remaining bags in tow. We take the lift down to the lobby in silence, and I cancel Hazel’s and my reservation at the front desk while River stays with our bags. Shortly after I check out of the hotel, I nod to River as I lift the hood of my jacket over my head and step out into the pouring rain where the impossible blue box is waiting for us.

That familiar weird feeling of being in a place I shouldn’t be, but also one of belonging at the same time, washes over me after I step over the threshold of the blue box and into the impossibly vast room beyond the doors, where an anxious-looking Doctor greets us.

“Nova!” he says after we enter, close the doors behind us, and set the bags down on the floor. “I’m so sorry.” He rushes up to me and wraps his arms around me in a tight hug. I’m still not comfortable embracing someone I feel strong anger and hatred toward, but I instinctively wrap my own arms around him anyway, albeit awkwardly.

“Me too,” I say, though I am not sure if it is an honest answer. “I mean for running.”

“I didn’t mean to say it like that,” he says, his voice shaky, like he is having trouble fighting back tears. “You’ve been through so much, and it was all my fault. You must think I’m a terrible father.”

“No, it’s not that,” I say, shaking my head. “I ran because I was scared; scared that I would never have a normal life again, like you said. I didn’t want to believe you.” As I said that, my own voice had started becoming slightly shaky, and I had started having trouble fighting back my own tears. Damn, I think to myself, there’s been a lot of that lately; then again, this day has been a pretty sucky one, probably one of the suckiest days of my life.

He pulls away from me but still holds me in front of him. “I actually meant what I said,” he says seriously but also shamefully, “but I didn’t mean to say it like that.” Upon closer inspection, I can see a pale-pink spot on his left cheek where River had undoubtedly slapped him. I can honestly say he deserved it, but I choose not to say it out loud. He has been through enough already.

“What did you mean to say?” I ask with a raised eyebrow. “River said I can’t have a normal life because of what I am, but that wasn’t the main reason why. So, what is the main reason why?”

“Let’s sit down again,” he suggests, wrapping an arm around me and leading me back to the steps in front of the control console on the elevated platform. This action makes me think that this will be a normal routine when serious topics are discussed. River follows us and seats herself in the chair where the Doctor sat last time, and the Doctor seats me back on the step next to him, where River sat last time. Still keeping his arm around me, much like River before, he explains with a heavy sigh, “For you in particular, it’s much more complicated. Obviously, by now, you know you’re not human; you’re a Time Lord.”

“Yeah,” I nod. “What exactly is that? People have called me that, but I don’t know what that is.”

“It’s what we are,” the Doctor admits, “where we’re from.”

“Gallifrey, right?” I say, the name suddenly appearing in my memory. “That’s your home-world?”

His expression changes in the blink of an eye from grim to sad. “It used to be,” he murmurs with a slight hint of shamefulness in his voice.

“‘Used to be?’” I ask with a puzzled frown. “What do you mean? Does it not exist anymore? Was there a war, or something?” This seemed to often happen in most Sci-Fi movies and TV shows, and I wouldn't be surprised if this sort of thing was true in real life as well.

The Doctor nods with tears brimming in his old eyes. “Yes, there was a war. The Last Great Time War. My people fought a malevolent race called the Daleks, giant squids that go around in battle tanks and exterminate everything in their path.”

“And they won?” I ask hesitantly, a disturbed feeling clinging tightly to my heartstrings. “The Daleks?”

He nods again. “Yes. They destroyed everything. Everyone. Except for me.” A single tear rolls down his cheek, but he wipes it away quickly with his jacket sleeve. This must be really hard for him, having to relive all those terrible memories of everything and everyone he lost. His sadness makes me feel more and more ashamed of myself for hating him.

I swallow hard, suddenly feeling a large knot lodge itself in my throat. “So…you were the last Time Lord ever? The only survivor of your people?” The school intruder's words suddenly pop into my head in that moment: There used to just be your daddy, but now there’s your mother…and you.

“That’s what I thought,” he admits. “There were two others, but they died, not from the War but from other natural causes.”

On instinct, I lay a gentle hand on his knee, exactly like I did when he cried when River told her story earlier. “I’m sorry,” I say with genuine sympathy, feeling my bottom lip tremble. The Doctor places his hand over mine and squeezes it gently, showing his appreciation. After a few minutes of silence, I ask, “So, what does being a Time Lord have to do with me not being able to have a normal life? Is it to do with my energy?”

“Partially,” he nods. “Certain beings want to use our energy for bad things, like taking over the universe, or they simply want to extinguish it entirely.”

Suddenly feeling disturbed, I ask hesitantly, “By ‘extinguish,’ you mean…?” I awkwardly raise a finger and move it across my throat in a ‘killing’ gesture.

The Doctor nods, then continues, “Yes. However, the Silence want to use your energy for an even greater purpose.”

“To kill you?” I say knowingly.

“More than that,” he admits, and after a short pause, he continues, “When you were first born, the Silence used the energy from an exploding star to make your regeneration energy much more powerful. They mixed the star’s energy with your regeneration energy as a way of turning you into a sort of bomb…a ‘supernova,’ if you will.”

What the freak?! I scream in my head. Is he for real? I am a literal bomb waiting to go off and kill not just the Doctor but possibly the whole universe?!

“Whoa!” I say instead. “So that’s why you named me ‘Nova?’ Because…well…I am one?” There is a freaking supernova inside me! What the actual hell?!

“Well, we mostly named you ‘Nova’ after the event that took place at the time of your birth,” the Doctor says with a shrug, “but yes. When the Silence experimented on you, they did something to your regeneration energy. The added energy from the star prevents you from fully regenerating, that is, changing your physical body entirely. That’s why you didn’t change bodies the first time, but it still counted as a regeneration.”

“Really?” I say with a raised eyebrow. “I always thought I didn’t change simply because I didn’t want to.” Why would I? I think to myself. Why would anyone?

“No, that’s not how regeneration works,” the Doctor explains, shaking his head. “When it comes time for a Time Lord to regenerate, they must change bodies, or they simply die as they are. That’s what happened to another Time Lord I once knew. He refused to regenerate, so he died like a regular mortal.”

“‘A regular mortal?’” I say incredulously, my head spinning. “Are you saying that we’re immortal? We can never die properly while we’re able to regenerate?” Also, can we backtrack a minute to talk about the fact that I am a freaking bomb that could kill us all at any moment?! I think but do not say.

“Well, there is a limit to how many times a Time Lord can regenerate,” the Doctor says with a small shrug. “Twelve times, to be exact.”

“Okay, well, I regenerated once, so that means I have, what, eleven left?” I ask to clarify what he is saying, which I am having a seriously hard time believing. A small part of me wants to run again, but I fight back that urge.

He shrugs again, this time uncertainly. “Supposedly, but who knows how many you have, Nova. Because of the Silence’s experiments, they may have mucked up with your cycle so much that you may have endless regenerations now…or possibly none at all.”

I raise a quizzical eyebrow. “Okay, so…it’s unknown whether I can still regenerate or not?”

The Doctor nods. “Yes.”

I shake my head, feeling highly confused. “But I can still conjure up the energy,” I insist. “Check this out.” I briefly make my hand glow gold for a few seconds before allowing it to disappear. “See? So, I must still have the ability.”

“Yes, but there’s no telling what can happen when you next regenerate…that is, if you still can,” the Doctor says somewhat apologetically. “The intensity of the regeneration can vary. It could just be a quick change, or it can be a powerful burst of energy that might destroy the environment around you.”

Holy crap, I exclaim in my head. That’s pretty much what a bomb does. Who is to say all Time Lords are—were—'bombs’ waiting to go off? “Dang!” I say out loud. “Has that happened to you before?” He must have; otherwise, he wouldn’t have suggested it.

“Yes, many times,” he admits with a small nod. “I’ve destroyed this very room on more than one occasion.”

“‘Many times?’” I frown again, that familiar disturbing feeling stabbing me in the chest. “That means you must be reaching the end now—the end of your cycle, I mean.” ‘Many times’ would certainly mean ‘more than five times;’ that being said, depending on how many times he has truly regenerated, he must be at the end of the line by now, if not close to the end of the line.

“I am,” he nods sadly, confirming my theory. “I’m already there.”

My eyes widen in shock. “You mean…you’re done? You can’t ever regenerate again?”

He shakes his head, his sadness never faltering from his youthful face. “No. I can still conjure up the energy to heal minor injuries, like a broken wrist, but I can’t change bodies again, no.”

I then turn to River, who also looks on the verge of tears, not for me but for her husband. “And, River, you gave up all of yours,” I say. “So…that means I’m the only one who can still regenerate. Maybe.”

Holy cow, I think incredulously. To be the only Time Lord in existence to still have the ability to regenerate… I can’t believe it!

After my parents nod, I am in so much shock, I suddenly feel as if the room has shrunk around me to the proper size of its exterior. I bury my face in my hands, suddenly feeling light-headed and my hearts pounding at an impossibly fast pace. “This is…” I say, shaking my head from the dizziness. “This is insane!” I then wince, the dizziness suddenly getting worse. “Ow! My head!” The pressure has increased so much that I feel as if my head is about to explode with insanity.

I feel the Doctor wrap his arms around me as if attempting to steady me, like I am about to faint at any moment. In all honesty, I am starting to feel that way. “Take it easy, Nova,” he says calmly. “You’ve had a long day. You need to rest.”

I immediately shake my head in disagreement. “No, I need to find my guardians and Hazel. Who knows what they’re going through right now. I need to save them.” The motion makes my vision go fuzzy, and I feel myself swooning into the Doctor’s chest.

“Nova!” I hear my mother cry in alarm, but her voice sounds far away. I hear her rise from her seat and feel her place a concerned hand on my shoulder.

“You’re not saving anyone in this condition,” the Doctor says seriously, his voice also sounding somewhat far away. “You’re too exhausted. You need to rest. Here, put your arms around me. I’ll take you to your room.”

I instinctively wrap my arms around his neck as he lifts me into his arms in a bridal-style position. “My…room?” I ask in a very weak tone, the pressure in my head growing slightly heavier.

“Yes,” he says as he gets up from the step and starts walking up them. “Your mother and I have prepared a room for you a while back. I’ll take you there.”

“We both will,” River insists as she follows us down a connecting hallway leading away from the Control Room, which I have decided to call the room we had just left. To ease the stress somewhat, I lay my head on the Doctor’s shoulder and shut my eyes for a bit as he carries me through the hexagonal-shaped corridors, which helps to clear my vision as well. By the time I open my eyes again as we are entering a small dark room at the far end of the corridor, the pressure has declined a little, as well as the fuzziness in my vision.

“Here we are,” the Doctor says as River flips the light switch on the wall, bathing a familiar room in a bright light.

I smile in awe. “It…looks like my room back home.”

“It is,” River says as she turns over the covers of my bed. “It’s an exact copy of your room back home…or at least as exact as we could make it. We figured you’d want your room to be just like the one you grew up in.”

“No,” I say, shaking my head, as the Doctor gently places me on my bed. “It’s perfect. Thank you.”

“You rest now, Nova,” he says calmly as he caresses my cheek. “Give yourself time to process. You need your strength if we’re going to save your family…and so we can start your training.” He then leaves shortly after, leaving me alone with my mother.

I turn to her, puzzled as to what her husband was talking about. “My training?”

“Yes,” she nods as she begins untying my shoelaces. “Since your father is reaching the end of his life, he wants to start your training so you may take over for him one day.”

“‘Take over?’” I frown. “You mean, like, take up the family business when he retires?” Could that be where Trenzalore is, like in the prophecy? I ponder to myself. Could that be some kind of retirement spot, or something of the like?

River pauses for a moment, but the way she pauses is weird, like there is something disturbing about her husband’s ‘retirement plan’… Like it’s not a retirement plan at all. “Something like that,” she responds in a ‘no big deal’ manner, but I can’t help but feel like she is lying. After she tucks me in, almost like a true mother would do for her child, she says, “Now, like your father said, you rest. You’ve had a tough day today.” She prepares to leave, but I stop her by grabbing her wrist, the one containing the so-called ‘Vortex Manipulator.’

“Wait!” I beg, pulling her down to sit beside me. “I want to ask you something, and I’m not going to sleep without knowing the answer.”

She gives in and does what I suggested. “What is it, my love?” she asks gently, running her fingers through my hair again.  

“Why didn’t the Doctor let you talk to me while I was growing up?” I ask seriously. “Why wait until now to show yourself to me?” When I seemed to be about to die, I think but do not say.

She is silent for a minute before she finally answers. “After we gave you up, your father believed that you’d be safer away from him, especially with the Silence always hunting him. He believed that if you knew nothing about us or your origins, you’d have a shot at living a long life. But when you regenerated for the first time, we knew you’d figure out who and what you were quickly, but he still didn’t want you knowing about us, so he had me watch over you and protect you from a distance while you were growing up. And only when your powers were at their peak were we going to finally reveal ourselves, knowing you’d no longer be safe at that point.”

“And that was when I was cornered in the alley?” I ask to clarify what she is saying.

“Actually, your powers have been at their peak since your regeneration,” River admits with a hint of worry in her voice. “Your regeneration was what first awakened your Time Lord powers; and since then, you’ve been a beacon of light to our enemies ever since, hence why several have tried coming after you, including the men in the alley.”

“So instead, you waited until I was old enough to meet you and to understand everything you would tell me about my true origins?” I ask, the pressure in my head gradually starting to return.

River is silent for another minute before continuing with a sigh. “Actually, the truth is, the Doctor never planned to have you back in our lives; not until the Silence were defeated once and for all. He didn’t want you involved in his conflict with them, knowing they’d target you and use you as their next weapon against him, like they did with me. He wasn’t going to allow that to happen, especially to his own daughter, so that’s why he gave you up. That, and we also didn't expect you to regenerate at such an early age.”

I shrug, releasing my own sigh. “Well, he seemed to have changed his mind now, because I’m here; in fact, he said I’m safer in this place than anywhere else because of my abilities, especially now that my Time Lord powers have been 'awakened,' as you say.”

“He’s right,” she nods. “Your ‘beacon of light’ doesn’t exist while you’re in the TARDIS; therefore, our enemies can’t get to you here.”

 “Sounds like I’m a prisoner here,” I say dismally, feeling highly disturbed at the idea, “especially since I can’t leave this place. I can’t ever go home again.” I sigh again. The Doctor is ruining my life again, as per usual. So like him.

River shakes her head. “No, Nova, you’re not a prisoner here. You can still leave the TARDIS; you just can’t stay in one place for long, at least no longer than a few days. We’ll protect you, no matter where you go.” She then adds with tearful eyes while continuing to caress my cheek and hair. “And we’ll always love you.”

I nod. “I know you love me…” I then pause, suddenly feeling suspicious. “But does the Doctor? He gave me up and then never planned to come back.” Again, what kind of a father does that to his child? A true father would never do that. Ever.

“No, he loves you,” she says honestly. “He loves you very much. He felt that the only way to keep you safe was to keep you as far away from him as possible, but deep down he wants to be with you. He wanted to raise you since the moment you were born, and so did I.”

A new wave of anger floods my hearts in that moment. All my life, my biological parents wanted to raise me, protect me, love me as their own, and the Silence haven’t made it easy for them, nor my grandparents, whose baby—my mother—was forcefully taken from them and trained to kill the Doctor, exactly like they have been planning to do with me. For a long time, even long before I was born, the Silence have been tearing our family apart…and for what?

“Why do they do this to us?” I say, my anger increasing. “The Silence—Vokanari, whatever—why do they want to separate us? Turn us against each other? What could they possibly hope to gain from that?” After all, it is their fault that my life is the way that it is…their fault that the people who should be my true parents are total strangers to me…

Their fault that we have been separated for so long, hence why I have a strong hatred for my own father, the Doctor. Because of them, he was forced to separate me from himself so that I could be protected from them, so that I could have a long, but most importantly, safe, life; and only now did my father change his mind to have me back, knowing that at this point, nowhere is safe for me. Not anymore. No place except here in this impossible blue box—the TARDIS.

More than that, it is their fault that my regeneration ability is all wonky. They’ve turned me into a freakin’ bomb, for crying out loud! They hope to use my regeneration energy to not only destroy the environment but my father along with it…especially my father, all because of some stupid paranoia of him letting loose his most dangerous secret that must never be told—his own name. 

WHAT! THE! ACTUAL! FREAK!

“I have absolutely no idea,” River sighs with a shrug. She then smiles. “That’s something we can worry about another time. Right now, you need to rest.”

“It seems wrong to rest while my family could be being tortured, or who knows what else, who-knows-where,” I say, feeling seriously bummed out that I can’t do anything to save them, especially not without knowing the location of where they have been sent to, which could be literally anywhere in Time and Space.  

“I know, sweetie,” River says sympathetically. “I’m sorry. We will find them soon.” Before she gets up from my bedside, she reaches into her jeans pocket and pulls out a familiar-looking necklace—the Doctor’s necklace that I had thrown across the hotel room floor in my rage. “Oh, by the way, you dropped this in the hotel room,” she says, wrapping my fingers tightly around it. “You might want to hold onto it. It’s one of the very few things your father has left of home.” She then leans over and kisses me on the forehead, and I can honestly say it felt heartwarming. “Get some rest now. We’ll talk more when you’re well.” She rises to her feet and walks to the bedroom door.

After she flips off the overhead light, I say before she walks away, “Mom?” Swiftly realizing my mistake, I correct myself, feeling embarrassed. “Sorry, River?”

“Yes, sweetie?” she pauses yet again, smiling at me like she is secretly making fun of me for keeping her from leaving so I can recover without further distractions. Either that, or she is secretly making fun of me for accidentally calling her ‘Mom.’

“I promise, this is the last question for the night,” I say, and I truly mean it. “Do you think, when I’m better, you can teach me some of your combat tricks? I’ve taken a lot of combat training at home, but your skills are way beyond my level.” In all honesty, I am still trying to process the fact that she took down over ten men all at once in the alley, and I could barely take down half as many by myself, even after we’ve both been trained by the same person, which I’m still finding difficult to believe.

“Perhaps I could,” she smiles again, considering my request. “And perhaps we could keep it a secret from your father. He doesn’t approve for violence.”

“Me neither, but I could use the extra combat training,” I say honestly. “I don’t want to risk regenerating again, if it’s true I may explode the entire environment I’m in, and maybe even you guys along with it.” The thought still sickens me to my core.

“I’ll see what I can do,” she says, and it sounds like a promise. “Sweet dreams, my Nova. I love you.”

“I love you too,” I say as she closes my bedroom door, plunging me in total darkness.

Shortly after my mother leaves, I briefly wonder why I said I loved her back, especially when she was still a stranger to me, though, admittedly, not as much of a stranger now as the Doctor is.

I still don’t know what to think of my wannabe father. For all the things he has done for me, especially when he gave me up to protect me from the clutches of the Silence, he seems to genuinely care for me, like River said, but if I am being completely real, he hasn’t physically proven that he still cares for me. He hasn’t shown himself to me near as often as River has, but in actuality, he has done much for me while I’ve never paid him any attention. He gave up his parenthood for me, which, according to River, wasn’t something he was willing to do; but if it meant saving his only daughter’s life, he would do anything to make that happen. Knowing this, it brings a whole new perspective into my eyes, and it makes me feel more guilty for running away and refusing his help.

Oh, man, I sigh in my head, my guilt increasing, I take back everything I ever said and thought about you. You really are a good man, Dad—Doctor. I chastise myself for calling him by that other title, knowing that he is not my dad…yet.

After a while, I take my phone and sonic screwdriver out from my pockets, suddenly feeling uncomfortable with them digging firmly into my sides. After placing my otherworldly screwdriver on the nightstand beside my bed, I unlock my phone and scroll through my photos of my guardians, which increases my longing to see them again.

“I’m so sorry for leaving you,” I say tearfully, like they can hear me even through the photos. “I should never have left, but I’ll make it up to you. I’ll find you. I’ll find you and save you, and I will never ever stop until I do. The Silence will get what they deserve for hurting you. That’s a promise.”

Chapter Text

It’s dark in the prison ward, with barely any light shining through the thin cracks in the eroded stonewalls. There is a pungent odor in the air, like sewage, and the tiniest sound of a drip somewhere close. Not much is really known about this dismal place, but one thing that is known is the literal as well as metaphorical fear that resides within these walls, especially within the cell that which I am caged in. 

Tight arms cling tight to me from my right, and, without hesitation, I wrap my arm around the shoulders of the owner. “It’s okay, dear,” I say in a deep yet comforting tone, “I’m sure she’s fine, wherever she is.” 

“I want her back,” my wife sobs in the crook of my neck. “I want her back in my arms.”

“I know,” I assure her, tightening my hold on her, “I miss her too. She’s a strong young woman; she’ll be alright.” She is our daughter, after all; she’d never leave us indefinitely, despite what she said in her letter. I am certain of that. 

“Do you think she’ll come and rescue us?” Hazel—poor, poor Hazel—asks, her little voice shaken and sorrowful in the cell next to us.

“Of course, Hazel,” I say in a hopeful tone. Even though I’m not very positive with our predicament, better to give them false hope than no hope at all. “She always comes back. Once she finds her real mother and father, they’ll come looking for us. We’ll see her again soon.”

“I’m scared,” Hazel sobs in her own cell. “I want to go home.” If only I could share with her the same comfort that I am giving my wife, it would be like receiving the same comfort from her own parents, but alas that is not possible. 

“We all do, Hazel,” I assure her. “Nova will come for us; we just need to hold on for her a little while longer.” 

In that moment, I struggle to hold back a choked whimper, fearing for my wife’s and Hazel’s safety as well as my own, knowing how dangerous and utterly psychotic these people who captured us—these so-called ‘Vokanari’—are. These are the people who want to take advantage of my daughter, to turn her against her own family, including us, and I will not allow that to happen. 

“Yes,” one of the twisted psychopaths sniggers to us, a perverted grin plastered on his greasy face, “the little Time Lady will come for you, and when she does, we will be waiting. She will run right into our trap, and we will finally have her.”

His words sprout something dark in me, and I find myself balling my hands into fists. Before I could say anything, Hazel beats me to it. “You’re wrong!” She exclaims at the guard. “She’s stronger and cleverer than you! She’ll never be foolish enough to join your freakazoid cult!”

Knowing how deadly these people are, I shout, “Hazel! No! Don’t talk back! Let us handle it!” If they harm her, I’ll never forgive myself. 

Instead of lashing out, the Vokanari guard laughs hysterically and says to me in a mocking tone, “Handle what, ‘Dad?’ You’re stuck in a cell! You can’t defeat us, and nor will your little Time Lord child! She left you, never to return again.”

Before I can say anything, Hazel talks back again, saying, “No, she left to protect us! From sickos like you!”

“Hazel!” I warn again. “Stop!” Not that she’s wrong. Nova had often worried that she’d attract danger to our house because of her otherworldly abilities and biology and had often talked about leaving us once she came of age, but I never thought she’d actually go through with it. I expected her to eventually get over her fear and accept who and what she is—more than that, she would continue to be human—but that was not meant to be.  Now I fear I may never see her again. 

The Vokanari guard then turns to Hazel and walks in front of her cell, that smirk ever present on his face. “Oh, really? Tell me, why was it so easy to snatch you after she chose to separate from you? Not a very good friend to abandon you with ‘sickos’ like us, huh?”

His words make that darkness in me grow stronger in my veins. “Say one more word about our daughter,” I growl, “and I’ll break your fucking nose.” My wife protests, panicked that the guard would hurt me if I did, but I ignore her. I truly mean what I said. No one insults my daughter in front of me.

The guard then turns back to me, continuing as if I never said anything at all. “Not a very good daughter, either, leaving you without so much as a ‘goodbye.’ Then again, she was never really yours, was she? She was just a pet to be sat for.”

That’s the final straw! When the guard reaches the bars, I take the opportunity to punch him hard in the nose, exactly like I said I would. I hear my wife scream in horror, but it falls on deaf ears as seething anger takes over my body. 

“Big mistake!” the guard growls, rubbing his heavily bleeding nose. “You will royally pay for that! In death!”

Suddenly, he lunges at me with something sparking at the tip, and I feel a massive burst of energy and pain flow through my body when it hits me square in the chest, sending me to my knees.

“NO!” both my wife and Hazel scream as the world begins to cloud around me, and I am greeted with silence. 

The world suddenly comes back into focus, but the room remains dark as I struggle to get my bearings. I sit bolt upright, skin sweating, throat throbbing, and chest burning, like I’ve been hit with the world’s most powerful lightning strike. As I clutch my chest in pain, I glance around the room to discover that I am back in my bedroom at home, though there is a strange droning noise that is faint but still noticeable. I can also feel a slight vibration in the floor, which is something I’ve never felt at home before.

I have also never had a dream like that before. What was that dark place? Why was Hazel and my mother-guardian there? 

Moreover, what happened to my father-guardian? In the dream, I was seeing everything from his point of view, and I could sense everything he was thinking and feeling, including the pain he felt when that sicko had attacked him with the electric stick. Was he alright? The sicko swore he was going to make my father-guardian pay for punching him in the nose “in death;” did that really happen? Is my father-guardian dead? If he died…

No, I shake my head, he’s fine. Both of them are. So is Hazel. She’s at home, and they are downstairs making you a nice, warm breakfast. That was all just a dream; nothing bad would ever happen to them. 

But what about my bio-parents? I respond to my previous thought, like my mind is having a two-sided conversation. I recently met them in person; didn’t that happen, like, yesterday? Aren’t I supposed to be with them now, in London?

That’s when I suddenly remember. This room isn’t actually my bedroom; this is, in fact, a copy of my bedroom back home in an impossible blue box that is bigger on the inside than it is on the outside. It is also one that is not from Earth, nor are my parents…and me. 

My eyes suddenly flood with tears, realizing the reality of the situation. My trip to London, the attack in the alley from the Silence (Vokanari) and meeting my bio-parents for the first time…none of that was a dream like I thought; it was all real. The pain I felt when I left my guardians without saying goodbye.  The fear I felt when I was attacked in the alley. The anger I felt toward my bio-parents for leaving me on Earth without an explanation as to why they gave me up in the first place, nor the fact that I was three buses, a long walk, and a taxi from human. 

And now the fear I have for the safety of my guardians, wherever (or whenever) they are. That dream felt so real, it was like I was actually there, in place of my father-guardian. Everything he felt and how much he was feeling it, I felt it too; but even though I wasn’t actually there, even across all of Time and Space, I felt it just as much as he did. 

How did I do that? I ponder to myself, frowning at the sheer impossibility of it. How could I have seen, thought, and felt everything that he was seeing, thinking, and feeling, when I am nowhere near where he is? How is that possible?

Of course, the obvious answer should be that it is not possible, but somehow, I made it happen, and I don’t know how. Could it be a Time Lord thing? I wonder. In any case, it’s one of the weirdest things I’ve done—especially since I seemed to have done it unconsciously—and it probably won’t be the last weird thing I do. 

Maybe my fath—the Doctor might have some answers. Unfortunately, I don’t trust him, and if it’s true he may be the only one with those answers, I may not have a choice. Perhaps my mother, River, might know a thing or two about Time Lord ‘things.’ She is half-Time Lord, after all. 

With heavy hearts, I slowly pull the covers off my body and swing my legs over the side of the bed. As I stand and stretch, I see that sometime in the night (or sometime earlier, as it’s difficult to determine the normal time of day in a time-machine, if there is such a thing as ‘night,’ ‘day,’ ‘yesterday,’ etc.), my bio-parents had delivered Hazel’s and my luggage to my room and stacked them against the wall by the dresser. After I mentally thank them, I begin opening every suitcase and sort through what’s mine and what’s Hazel’s. Sorting through Hazel’s things makes me think of her in that dark place, having who-knows-what done to her. She must be utterly terrified, wherever or whenever she is, and it makes me immensely guilty for what’s happened to her. 

That guard was right; I wasn’t a good friend for leaving her side. I thought I was doing the right thing by leaving her—by leaving them all—but I was wrong. Because I left, they were taken, and now I’m not sure I’ll be able to fix what’s befallen them, or whether they’re even still alive. If I ever find them, I’ll be sure to give the Vokanari what’s coming to them like I promised. 

After finding a clean pair of jeans, a T-shirt and jacket, I take them into the bathroom, undress from my old clothes from the previous day, and jump in the shower. After twenty minutes of showering, I dry off, dress into the clean clothes, and do my hair up in a simple Dutch braid running from my forehead to the center of my back. Once I’m fully dressed for the day, I exit my room and into the dim, otherworldly hallway outside. 

As I struggle to figure out how to retrace my steps that the Doctor took when he carried me from the Control Room to my room, I think about our first meeting yesterday. We didn’t exactly have very good first impressions with each other (partially because of my socially-awkwardness, but mainly because of my constant anger toward them for giving me up, which now seems pointless and irrational, as none of what we’ve been through all these years was their fault), but I am determined to fix that. After all, if it’s true about what they said about there no longer being a safe place for me in the universe except here in the TARDIS, I’ll be spending a lot of time with them (no pun intended), so I’ll have to get to know them at some point. Now that they’ve taken me back (I think, as right now it seems only temporary until the Vokanari are defeated for good), I want to learn to love them like a true daughter would toward her true parents. 

Once I get my bearings, I walk down the hexagonal-shaped hallway until I reach the Control Room, where I can hear my bio-parents having a serious argument. Instead of intruding on their conversation, I quietly listen in behind the wall at the top of the stairs. 

“River, I really must protest!” the Doctor is saying to his wife by the control console. “You betrayed them; therefore they will kill you!”

“I’m well aware of that, my love,” she answers calmly, “but it is necessary. Yes, I betrayed them when I fell in love with you, but they also trained me. I know how to fight them; I can use my training against them. If you go, they’ll kill you, and I can’t let you die…not again. Besides, Nova needs protection, and you’re the only one who can protect her. It has to be me.”

She’s clearly talking about the Vokanari, I realize. She seems to be planning to find them to get my guardians back, and the Doctor is very against it. Of course, he’d be concerned for his wife, I think to myself, especially when she’s seemingly planning to return to the people who made her the murderous weapon that she was when she was a child. This thought makes me want to step in and interfere, but I stay put and continue listening. 

“It doesn’t have to be you,” the Doctor highly disagrees. “I can send the Paternoster Gang instead. They can find them just as easily as you, if not more so. Plus, there’s three of them and only one of you. I don’t want to lose you.” I can tell in his voice that he is struggling to fight back tears, and he is about to lose the battle, but River is having none of it. 

“You won’t lose me,” she says, shaking her head. “I’m a child of the TARDIS. I’ll always find my way back to her…” She then caresses her husband’s cheek lovingly. “Back to you.” Even she sounds like she is struggling to fight back her own tears, and I can’t help but think, Man, I never would’ve thought they’d be so emotional, especially about goodbyes. Then again, I was never good with goodbyes either, and I’m still not. 

“River…” the Doctor sighs as a single tear slides down the cheek that River is caressing; clearly, he lost the battle with himself to not cry for fear of losing his wife to the ‘freakazoids’ that are the Vokanari. “Our daughter… If you die…”

To hide her own tears, River abruptly gathers her husband in a tight hug, which he returns, immediately burying his face in her curls. “Doctor, stop! Nova will be fine, with or without me. She has you. You said you wanted to train her; this is the perfect opportunity. While I’m away, you can spend time with her, get to know her…be a father to her. She needs you.”

“She needs you too,” he whimpers in her curls. “She needs a mother. It’s what you’ve always wanted since you married me.”

“True,” she nods, “but she’s grown up now; she can look out for herself. But she needs to know where she comes from…what she is. You are the only one who can help her see that, help her understand.”

“I can’t do it alone,” the Doctor whimpers again, wrapping his arms around her more tightly, like if he lets go for even a second, she will disappear forever. “I lost her once, and I just got her back; that doesn’t happen very often. I don’t want to lose her again. I don’t want to lose you either. I want us to be together…the three of us, as a family.”

“We will,” she assures him, pulling away slightly where her arms are still around his neck and their faces are close enough to each other where their noses are almost touching, “but not until the Silence are defeated once and for all. As long as they’re out there, they’ll just continue to hunt us down, and they won’t ever stop until we’re dead…until you are dead. They want Nova to be their next weapon against you, and they’re using her guardians as bait to get to her. She wants to save her family, but we can’t let them take her. That is why I am going to find them, and I have to go alone. Please, my love, try to understand. I am doing this for you…” 

What?! I scream in my head as a response to her statement, just shy of slamming my fist against the wall in disbelief. Uh-uh! No way, you are not leaving without me! I got them into this mess; I will get them back!

“For her,” I hear River finish her statement, and I suddenly pause, as her voice sounded like she was facing the direction of where I am hiding, like she senses that I am here listening. 

“Nova?” I hear the Doctor ask, his voice also sounding like he’s facing my direction. 

His question makes me fail to suppress the immediate thought that pops into my head: Crap! Do they know I’m here?

“Yes, Nova,” the Doctor answers as if he read my mind, “we know you’re there. Come on out.” He sounds dead serious, like he actually heard me; though how that’s possible, I have no idea. 

“Uh…hey,” I say as I awkwardly step out from behind the wall. 

“How long have you been listening?” the Doctor asks in a concerned tone, making me think it was wrong of me to listen in for as long as I did. 

“Not long,” I admit honestly as I walk carefully down the stairs to them. “You’re leaving?” I ask River, turning to her. 

“Yes, sweetie,” she says as she pulls me into a hug. “I’ve decided to search for your guardians, while you stay with your father where you’ll be safe.”

“I want to go with you,” I insist after I return the hug. 

“I’m sorry, Nova,” she shakes her head as she caresses my cheek, “you can’t. It’s too dangerous.”

“I don’t care!” I say, shaking my head back at her. “I want to help! It’s my fault they’re in this mess. It’s my responsibility to save them.”

“I know you do,” she smiles apologetically, “but that’s what the Silence want, for you to come to your guardians' rescue. In so doing, you’d be running right into their trap.”

“Technically, so would you!” I argue. “So would anyone! It doesn’t matter who’d be coming; literally anyone in the entire universe would be in as much danger.” As sinister of a group as the Vokanari is, I would imagine they’d trap anyone who’d cross their path, if they don’t choose to kill them first. 

“Exactly my point!” the Doctor exclaims, making both hearts jump to my throat. “Thank you, Nova! You are your father’s daughter!” He smiles at me, genuinely impressed, but I just stare at him, completely dumbfounded. Perhaps he’d argued this exact thing just before I arrived, and he was happy to discover that I seemingly shared his exact way of thinking; not to mention that I was also seemingly taking his side in the argument.

Which, yeah, I suppose I am, I can’t help thinking in my head. I mean, River does seem to want to take my place in the search for my guardians, risking her life to do so, even though it should be my responsibility, and mine alone. Not that I don’t appreciate her help, of course; I just don’t see why she feels the need to take up a responsibility that was never hers to begin with. This thought gives me the vibe that this is something my bio-parents do on a daily basis—to take up other people’s responsibilities so they don’t have to. The fact that my bio-parents are willing to save people from those burdens, and take the weight of it all for themselves, astounds me.

“See?” the Doctor continues. “Nova gets it! Like she said, the Silence would be expecting any one of us, especially you and she; therefore, they would have you captured and turned against me…again, in your case. I’m willing to bet you don’t want a rerun of what happened in Utah, do you?”

His last statement seems to sprout something dark in River. Her eyes bulge with anger, and she appears to be on the verge of slapping him again (this time seemingly not caring that I am present), and it makes me realize what she meant about her husband not thinking before speaking, now knowing her story. He’d crossed a huge line when he said that.

“Mom!” I speak up before she has a chance, grabbing her hands and squeezing them gently in my own. “River,” I correct myself before continuing calmly, “He makes a good point. From your story, that was an awful experience. I mean, I can’t imagine the things you saw…what you were forced to do, even when it was all fake. Imagine how much more horrible it would be to have that happen again, but this time it’s real. You said you were trained and conditioned to kill him. What if the Silence caught you and somehow made your conditioning return, stronger this time? Or worse, they kill you? You don’t have to go. He said he knew a gang that could find my guardians for us; I doubt the Silence would expect them. Why can’t he send them in your place?”

“Because they haven’t dealt with the Silence like I have,” she says honestly, shaking her head. “For many years, they trained me to kill your father; therefore, I have loads of experience with them. I can use all of that training against them, force them to tell me where they’ve taken your family. It has to be me, and only me. I don’t want either of you getting hurt…not again.”

In that moment, the Doctor abruptly pulls River away from me and holds her firmly by the shoulders, forcing her to listen, intense emotion blossoming in his watery emerald eyes. “River, please, don’t do this!” he demands in a desperate and fearful tone. “We can think of another way—a safer way, where no one gets hurt.”

River then reaches up with a gentle hand and caresses his cheek again in an attempt to calm him. “Sweetie, you’re acting like I’m going to barge into their base with absolutely no plan,” she sighs. “I’ve fought them before, several times, not just in training. They taught me every trap they’ve ever used, what happens when a victim walks into one…even how to avoid them. Needless to say, many of their traps have been brutal, even gruesome, and I don’t want either of you to walk into one of those traps blindly. I can do this. You have to trust me.”

The Doctor releases his own tearful sigh, glancing down at the floor. “I do trust you. I always trust you, River Song, Melody Pond. But…I just don’t want you to get hurt. You, my wife, the love of all my lives. Now and forever. Your parents would kill me if you got hurt.”

Her parents…I think in my head. My grandparents. Clearly these people care a lot about him, and he cares a lot about them, including me.

 “Me too,” I say, stepping forward. “I mean, I don’t want to lose you either. I want us to be a family again, too…a proper family. Together. I don’t want to be separated again…not from anyone.” I am done being split from people, whether they split from me, or I split from them.

My bio-parents glance at each other guiltily, knowing exactly what I am talking about and how I feel. They know I am referring to when they gave me up, and I never want them to do that to me again, now that I am back in their lives, even if it is just for a short time. They can both sense the anger in me for seemingly leaving me again, which is true, especially since I hadn’t even spent twenty-four hours with them. River seems to believe that she is doing the right thing by taking up the responsibility for me—for us, the Doctor and I—and is saving me from something terrible happening (having me become a murderous psychopath against my own father), and a small part of me believes her, but I can’t help but still feel worried for her safety, and I can tell the Doctor feels the same way.  

“Oh, Nova,” she says tearfully, pulling me into a hug with her free arm and tightening her hold on her husband with her other arm. He wraps his arms around us both, but I only return River’s hug. “I know how much you want to help, but you can’t. Not yet. You’re not strong enough.”

“Then make me stronger!” I insist. “Teach me! You promised you would. Both of you.” River said she’d help me improve my combat skills, and the Doctor said he’d train me for something else, though I never found out what. Perhaps I could find out now that I’ve recovered from the previous day…or earlier, or whenever it was.

“I can’t,” River shakes her head apologetically. “Your father can.”

I glance at him as he says, “Yes, Nova. You wish to know where you come from, what you are… I can teach you everything you need to know. There are other abilities and skills Time Lords have besides Regeneration.”

“Like what?” I ask curiously.

“Spoilers,” he answers with a smile as he plays lightly with my braid over my shoulder.

“Seriously?” I can’t help groaning, annoyed, with a roll of my eyes. “Why does everything have to be 'spoilers' with you guys?” It must run in the family, I think, which is ridiculous.

Then again, it could also be a time-travel thing, seeing as they’re both time-travelers, coming from all over Time and Space. Something tells me they don’t meet in the right order, hence why there are so many secrets between them…between us. Perhaps they know how the other dies, but they can’t say anything about it in front of each other because they would risk changing the future with fatal consequences as a result; at least that’s how things tend to happen in the Sci-Fi movies. I can’t imagine having a life like that, knowing everything there is to know about your lover, only the lover doesn’t know you as well as they should normally when their lives are parallel, and vice versa. That must be really difficult for my parents. How do they cope with a life like that?

“It’s complicated,” River sighs, mimicking the Doctor’s smile. “Everything will be explained to you in due time, but you won’t be hearing it from me.” She then pauses, connecting her forehead with mine. “I know it feels like I’m leaving you again, and you don’t want me to leave you again, but I won’t be gone long. I’ll be back.”

“When?” I ask, struggling to fight back the tears that are threatening to spill from my eyes.

“I don’t know,” she says with a small shrug, “but you won’t have to wait another eighteen years. I can promise you that.”

“I’m scared for you,” I admit, hugging her tighter and, for some reason, feeling doubtful of her declaration.

“Don’t be, my love,” she says, caressing my cheek and wiping my tears away. “Like I told your father, I’ll always come back to you.” She then kisses my forehead gently. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” I say, and I truly mean it this time. I can feel my hearts tugging at me to stop her from leaving, but I ignore them. Somehow, I believe River knows what she’s doing, and she will do everything in her power to return to us with my guardians and Hazel in tow. I just wish there is something I can do to help, no matter how strong I am.

I can suddenly sense the disappointment and guilt in the Doctor at my declaration toward River, like I’d stabbed him with a pair of knives in each heart. This was the second time I’d told her I loved her, and I hadn’t told the Doctor I loved him once, and there’s a reason why. River had saved my life twice, from the Vokanari and from myself, when I thought about ending it all on the balcony of my hotel room. Even if I’d just kept running, never stopping until I died of exhaustion, she was still willing to chase me and bring me back (if my regeneration energy wasn’t going to save me first). The fact that she stuck around for me, even at a distance throughout my childhood, proves that she still loves and cares for me, and I always admired that about her, hence why I trusted her almost instantly when we met properly.

However, the Doctor did no such thing. River claimed he loves me just as much as she does, but I haven’t seen any proof. I didn’t see him nearly as much as I saw River in my childhood, if at all. He never chased after me when I ran from him yesterday. And I’m pretty sure when he shared his story with me about the war on his home-world, he lied about certain things, in contrast to River being honest with everything she shared about her own life.

Honestly, I don’t regret not telling the Doctor I love him as well. I get the sense that he often lies about his life, even his age, and I can’t trust him for that. I hate myself for feeling this way about him, but if he wants me to love him too, he needs to learn to open up to me; but he needs to learn to open up to himself first, and I get the feeling this is something he’s been struggling to overcome for centuries and still is to this day.

After I step aside, he wraps both arms around his wife tightly. “I know there’s nothing I can say to get you to change your mind,” he whispers in her shoulder, a ghost of a smile curling his lips, “frankly, ever.”

“You wouldn’t have me any other way,” she chuckles, massaging the back of his neck lovingly.

The Doctor pulls away and just stares at her. “You’d be right.” He then leans in and presses his lips to hers, and her grip on his hair tightens as he pulls her in closer, his hand caressing her chin and neck.

Under normal circumstances, children would be grossed out by their parents kissing in front of them, but I feel no such emotion. I find it heartwarming, but also sad, as for all we know, this may be the last time the Doctor and I see River again. If that’s the case, the Doctor wants to make this ‘final’ kiss as meaningful as possible, and one that neither of them would forget. The last thing he wants to remember is the taste of her lips against his, her soft curls against his cheeks. Seeing them like this brings more tears to my eyes.

“Be safe,” the Doctor chokes back a sob, pulling away. “Be well.”

“Look after our daughter,” River demands, pressing her forehead against his and struggling to fight back her own tears.

“Look after you,” he answers. They share one more kiss before she turns to me and hugs me one last time.

“Bye,” I whimper, still feeling bummed that I can’t go with her. We’d be able to find my guardians so much easier together, but she claims that she’s got it covered and doesn’t need help. I still can’t help but be afraid for her safety, but I am also anxious to know my Time Lord heritage, and the Doctor is the only one who can share that information.

“Goodbye, my Nova,” she says as she prepares her Vortex Manipulator strapped to her wrist. “I will love you always. Never forget that…either of you.” She then vanishes from the spot in a flash of lightning, leaving the Doctor and I alone in the TARDIS.

“Whoa!” I exclaim in shock; literally, as there is a tingling sensation that was left behind when she disappeared.

“Yeah,” the Doctor chuckles behind me. “Your mother likes to make a dramatic entrance as well as an exit.” He then claps his hands together and faces the console, seemingly forgetting about his emotional episode entirely. “Right! All of Time and Space at our fingertips! Where shall I take you first?”

I don’t answer. Instead, I sit on the bottom step from the control dais, facing the door, expecting River to walk right through them at any second with my guardians and Hazel behind her, but they don’t come. I wait, and wait, and wait, but still, no one enters. All I hear is the familiar house-key-scraping sound that the control console is making, as well as the pushing and pulling of levers and switches.

“Nova?” the Doctor asks, noticing my silence, but I ignore him still, keeping my back to him. How can he be so calm? How could he just move on and not think that that may have been the last time he would ever see his wife again? The last time that I would ever see my mother—both of them—again? I then hear footsteps behind me as the Doctor seats himself beside me, a concerned frown on his face. “Nova, what’s wrong?” I expect him to wrap a comforting arm around me, but thankfully he doesn’t.

“Is she really going to be okay?” I ask with worry, still staring at the door.

“She’s your mother!” he exclaims in an obvious tone. “Of course, she’s gonna be okay. She’s the queen of okay.” I then sense him glance at me, but I don’t return the glance. “Why don’t you think she will be?”

“Well, she’s going alone,” I say, still refusing to look at him. “Without help. That’s the worst thing to do when infiltrating an enemy base. What if they catch her; who will save her? It can’t be us since they’ll be expecting that. I mean, that’s the whole point of their organization, right?”

For some reason, I feel like River’s decision to leave was his fault. He should’ve tried harder to talk her out of leaving, but instead he just accepted her decision like it was nothing, as if she wasn’t risking her life to do so, even though she was. Can’t he see that he allowed her to return to the very people that made her the murderous psychopath that she was before she fell in love with him?

“Yes,” the Doctor nods. “Their core belief is ‘Silence will fall when the question is asked.’ ‘Silence’ being my silence—my death.”

“Speaking of which, you said River was brainwashed to kill you, right?” I ask. “In Berlin, she nearly succeeded.”

“Actually, she did succeed in killing me,” he corrects me, “but she used—”

“She used up her remaining regenerations to resurrect you,” I finish, nodding. “Yeah, I remember you telling me that story earlier and in your letter. My point is, I’m worried that if River gets captured trying to save my family by herself, the Silence might make her brainwashing return.” I refrain from saying that he made that happen by letting her leave, and that if she were to return to us, she may not be the same as she was when she left… She wouldn’t be my mother anymore.

“It won’t return,” he shakes his head, seeming to not be worried at all. How can he not be? “She’ll be fine.”

“But what if it does,” I say, in total disbelief that he still doesn’t seem to get it; “and she kills you, properly this time? And me?” I then sigh, feeling emotional again. “I just…I don’t want us to be separated again…to turn against each other. The Silence have been doing that to us for years. Stealing River away from her parents when she was first born to be turned into an assassin against you, just because of their deep hatred towards you… And now they want to do the exact same thing to me!” I sigh again, rubbing my temples painfully, beginning to feel my migraine returning. “I just…I don’t know how to believe all of this. I don’t understand! Why do they do this to us? Why are they so desperate to kill you when you’ve done absolutely nothing to them? Why can’t they just leave us alone? Let us live? Let us be normal?”

If the Silence weren’t always hunting us, perhaps we’d live normal lives. The Doctor could work as a history professor or actual physician, River could work as a professor of archaeology, and I could be a college student studying computer languages, perhaps all in the same school. Then in our free time, we’d go on adventures through Time and Space in the TARDIS. The perfect life.

“It’s not just the Silence that want us dead,” the Doctor explains, shaking his head. “It’s the whole universe…or at least those, like the Daleks, that wish to wipe us completely off the face of the universe.”

“Why?” I demand, finally looking up at him.

“Simply because of what we are—Time Lords,” he sighs in exasperation. “Totally racist, I know; I don’t like it either.”

“I still don’t understand what that is,” I say, shaking my head. “You said they—we—were originally from Gallifrey, and we could regenerate and live thousands of years. What else do they do? How do they live?”

The Doctor takes a deep breath before explaining. “Well, they’re gone now—all except you, me, and your mum—but one thing I do is travel the universe, exploring new worlds and righting wrongs. There used to be a strict rule on Gallifrey that you could never interfere with the affairs of other peoples or planets, but I always thought the rule was silly, even in my youth. After I left, I found a way around the non-interference policy where I could interfere in ways that benefited others. By doing so, I became a hero to many, but the Time Lords disagreed with my actions and had me exiled on Earth for a long period of time as punishment. Needless to say, it was really tough, being stuck on Earth, not being able to travel around the universe without a TARDIS. At least they let me keep my TARDIS, but it was rendered inoperable where I couldn’t fly.”

“And now that they’re…” I start to say, but then I suddenly stop, swallowing uncomfortably, knowing this is a sensitive topic to him. After a short pause, I decide to continue gently, “Now that they’re gone, you can do whatever you want? Make your own rules?”

“Well, there are still rules I have to follow,” he says with a shrug, “such as only interfering if it is a last resort, like when someone is attempting to change history when they’re not supposed to. That’s one of the major things you’ll learn during your time with me.”

“Speaking of which, you said last night that you wanted to train me,” I say, believing his statement to be what he was referring to last night. “Train me to do what, exactly? River said something about you wanting to train me to ‘take up the family business.’ Is that so-called ‘family business’ what you do; saving planets and whatnot?” To be honest, that sounds pretty awesome. Who wouldn’t want a life like that?

“And making sure people don’t muck up history, yes,” the Doctor nods with an excited grin. “It’s brilliant! You’ll love it!” He then stands up, grabbing my hand and pulling me up as he goes, taking me up to the control console. “Come on; let me show you!”

“Show me what?” I ask, puzzled.

“Hold on tight!” he says, his grin ever present on his face, as he lays a hand on a strangely shaped lever. “It’s about to get bumpy!”

“What do you—?” I start to ask, but I am interrupted as the Doctor pulls the lever down, and the TARDIS responds immediately with an aggressive lurch and a boisterous fanfare of noise that makes my ears pop. “Whoa!” I cry in alarm. “What’s happening?” The TARDIS lurches again, and I am almost thrown off-balance as I grip the side of the console to steady myself. I watch in amazement as a cluster of what appear to be frozen teardrops suspended inside the cylindrical column rises and falls in sync with the house-key-scraping noise.

“Don’t worry!” the Doctor yells over the noise as he operates the controls rather horribly, seemingly pulling the levers at random. “This is perfectly normal!”

“Are you sure?” I ask a little doubtfully. “It doesn’t seem very normal, especially with it being so bumpy. It feels like we’re being tossed through a storm.” My statement automatically makes me think of The Wizard of Oz, when Dorothy’s house was pulled into the air and thrown from side to side before settling in the Merry Old Land of Oz.

Suddenly, a woman’s voice interrupts my thoughts. ‘Don’t worry, my dear. You’re not the only one who doesn’t like his piloting,’ it says with a slight chuckle, like she said it as a joke but also not as a joke.

“What?” I gasp, startled by the voice that sounded so clear in my head, like the woman was standing right next to me, but there’s nobody there. “Who said that?” It was definitely not River; that much I know.

“Oi!” the Doctor responds in an offended tone. “My piloting is fine; perfect, in fact!” He said it like he was responding to the woman and not me.

“Wait! You heard it too?” I ask, puzzled.

“What, the TARDIS?” he answers. “Of course! I hear her all the time! Did you hear her?”

I shrug uncertainly. “I mean, I wouldn’t have said anything about it if I didn’t. Then again, I wouldn’t have said anything about it even if I did; otherwise, you might think I’m crazy. But you said you heard it too, so I’m not the only one, which is good…and weird.” If I was the only one that heard the voice, that would’ve been highly embarrassing. Perhaps the Doctor would’ve felt the need to scan my brain before deciding to send me to the alien nuthouse. Thank God I wasn’t the only one.

He pauses, considering my statement. “Hmm…I suppose it might be a bit weird if you’re not used to hearing another voice in your head, but for Time Lords, it’s perfectly natural.”

“How?” I frown, staring at him.

He then flips a few more switches, seemingly putting the TARDIS on autopilot, which makes the flight somewhat smoother, and walks over to me, saying, “As I said before, there are other abilities and skills Time Lords have besides Regeneration, one of them being that we’re incredibly telepathic. That would explain how you heard the TARDIS’s voice in your head…and mine.”

“At my graduation, you were there,” I say, suddenly remembering. “I heard you, but you didn’t move your mouth when you spoke.” I never figured out how that was possible until now. He’s a telepath.

“I spoke telepathically to you,” the Doctor says, confirming my theory. “You and me, we’re psychically connected. All Time Lords were like that once upon a time when they still existed; now there’s just us. I can sense everything you’re thinking, no matter where you are in Time and Space. It’s how I was able to find you when the Silence attempted to kidnap you shortly after your birth.”

“You’re a telepath?” I say with a raised eyebrow. I also couldn’t help but say it with a slight hint of shamefulness. All those thoughts I had yesterday and today about my anger and distrust towards him…could he sense all of that?

“So are you,” he admits. “Every Time Lord has this ability. You’ll learn to master your telepathic abilities soon enough.”

I raise my eyebrow higher at this. I am also a telepath? He can’t be serious! That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard!

The Doctor then pauses, sighing. “Right now, I’m sensing that you don’t fully trust me.”

Of course not! How can I? I think about saying, but I suddenly feel my guilt grow stronger in my veins, realizing that he’s telling the truth. He really can hear my thoughts. It would explain how he heard me when he and River found out I was listening in to their conversation before she left. 

“I’m sorry,” I sigh shamefully. “It’s just…even though you’re my father by blood, I don’t know you.” I then add awkwardly, “Plus…you gave me up, and I never knew why. I still don’t. I mean I kinda do, but…not really.”

“I told you; we gave you up to protect you from the Silence,” the Doctor explains honestly. “Vokanari, now that they’re called.”

“Yeah, but I don’t think that was the full truth,” I admit uncomfortably. “At one point, you also said you wanted to protect me from yourself.”

“When did I say that?” he asks with a puzzled frown, like he truly doesn’t remember, but I never forgot it. In fact, I promised myself I’d ask him about it once I finally met him; and now that I have, this is my opportunity.

“Before you gave me up, I think,” I say uncertainly, not entirely remembering when he said it; I just knew he said it, and I was always curious to know what he meant. “It was one of the very last things you said to me. Don’t ask how I remember that; I just do. Anyway, ever since I’ve had that memory, I’ve often wondered what you mean by that. What is it about you that makes you so dangerous that you felt the need to protect me from yourself as well? Did you think you’d hurt me, or something?” It seems ludicrous now that I’ve met him. He doesn’t seem like the type of guy that would want to hurt anyone, especially those closest to him, like River and me. Why would he? He wouldn’t be ‘the Doctor,’ otherwise.

“No!” he says, frowning incredulously. “Of course not! I would never hurt you, my daughter! Why would you think that about me?”

“No, it’s not that I thought you would hurt me,” I shake my head defensively. “I mean, like, beings you might attract that would hurt me, like the Silence, or some other creature. You said Time Lords attract all kinds of danger, depending on how powerful they are.”

“Yes, that was what I meant,” the Doctor nods, “but you knew that already. I didn’t want to risk any of them getting you.” He then pauses, like he knows something more but doesn’t want to reveal the truth.

“But that’s not the full truth, is it?” I say, my anxiety increasing. “I can see it in your eyes. Tell me.”

“It’s complicated,” he says, shaking his head and appearing like he is about to have another emotional breakdown.

“Please!” I say desperately. “You brought me back into your life; why can’t you be honest with me? With your own daughter?” In that moment, I feel my anger return, stronger than ever. “I can’t trust you if you can’t be honest with me!” I scream at him. “Otherwise, what was the point of you bringing me back at all?”

My anger suddenly melts away as quickly as it had come, when I see the Doctor’s eyes cloud over with tears, looking like he is reliving a past memory that he would rather have locked up in the deepest, darkest dungeon, and I suddenly feel it too—guilt, despair, loneliness. I can physically see these emotions through his eyes—eyes that have seen everything and lost even more than what they’ve seen. These are the eyes of a truly broken man, and one that is struggling to put himself back together.

Feeling more ashamed than I have ever been, I wrap my arms around the Doctor’s neck, burying my face in his shoulder. Surprised, he slowly wraps his own arms around me, leaning his head on top of mine in seeming defeat. “Please,” I sob, holding him more tightly, as he feels more deadweight now, his emotions literally weighing him down. “I don’t want us to fight anymore. That’s what the Silence want, for us to hate each other… For me to hate you. I don’t want to hate you anymore. I want to trust you. I want…” I suddenly pause, making sure I hear myself correctly before I continue. “I want to love you, like a daughter to a father.”

My statement makes the Doctor sob and hold me tighter, fearing that I might disappear if he lets go. He buries his own face in the side of my neck, and once his cheek makes contact with my skin, it feels wet and cold. He is literally crying now, and it makes me cry too, but it also seems unusual for him to be this emotional. From the stories I’ve heard, especially from the school intruder back in Second Grade, the Doctor is not known to cry; in fact, he is known to be some type of godly being from some high-up world that should be feared by all who cross him; but seeing the Doctor—my father—like this, this seems very ungodlike, which makes me think that the things the school intruder said about him were lies. The Doctor is just as ‘human’ as the rest of us in the universe.

We spend several minutes crying in each other’s shoulders until the Doctor finally speaks up, his tight grip on me refusing to loosen. “I don’t just attract danger,” he says in a soft whisper that I can barely hear. “I end up causing it. And when I do, those people get hurt. Your mum and grandparents weren’t the only companions I’ve had travel with me; I’ve had many others, some even your age. Some left…some got left behind… And some…not many, but…some died. They died because of me, because of the terrible choices I’ve made.” He pauses again, choking back another sob. “What I told you about the Daleks destroying my home-world during the Time War…I lied. Gallifrey was destroyed because of me because I was so sick of the War. I used a powerful weapon called The Moment, a galaxy eater, to end it all. Daleks and Time Lords alike. I killed them all, all because I couldn’t stand it anymore. All that fighting…all that death…” He grips me ever more tightly at this point, and I can barely breathe, but I don’t let it show. “I can’t change any of that. Not ever.” He begins sobbing again, this time falling to his knees, and I literally take the fall with him. We sit like that in each other’s arms, neither of us willing to let go. The Doctor needs this time to let out all of his emotions, so I let him. He shouldn’t have to bottle up these emotions anymore, and he certainly shouldn’t have to let them all out alone. With River gone—though not ‘gone,’ gone, obviously—I am the only one he has.

“I’m sorry,” I sob, collapsing further into his lap. “If I’d known all of the things you’ve been through…”

“I don’t want to lose you,” he says seriously. “You and me…we’re the only Time Lords left. If I lose you…”

I pull away, shaking my head, not wanting to hear any more, or I would surely keep on crying until I melt. “No,” I say, cupping his tearstained face in my hands. “You won’t lose me. I’ll be here with you. Not that I have a choice in the matter, because I don’t have a home to go back to, but I’m willing to stay for you. You need someone, even at times when you won’t admit it. You’ve been alone way too long; your old eyes tell me so. It’s time to change that. Together.” I can’t stand seeing him like this anymore. He’s lost so much, and for so long I have been making it worse by bringing him lower with my constant anger towards him. I am done being angry with him. The only thing I want to be angry toward is the Vokanari/Silence. They are the true enemy, not the Doctor. Not my father.

“Thank you, Nova,” he says, this time with a smile that is forced but still a smile, nonetheless. “I will never give you up ever again.”

“Good, because I’m not leaving,” I say, smiling back at him. “Not even after we’ve rescued my guardians. I want to learn who I am…what I am. I want to know my place in the universe, even if it is here in this impossible blue box. Especially if it is here. I want to make you proud, like any good daughter would.” For once, I truly mean what I said.

Screw the Silence, I think in my head. If they want my father dead, they’ll have to go through me—better yet, find someone else—because I’ll never kill him. Like River said, I won’t let them harm my dad for as long as I live, nor her or anybody else I care about.

‘Well said,’ I hear the Doctor say in my head; though I’m not sure if he responded to what I said out loud or in my head. In any case, I smile at him appreciatively.

“Ah, Nova…” he says out loud, wiping his eyes dry and standing up, lifting me up with him. “My Nova. You are in for a real treat.” He then guides me to the door with his hands on my shoulders.

“What treat?” I ask, puzzled, and that’s when I realize that the house-key-scraping noise has stopped, indicating that we landed; though where, I have no idea.

“Nova Susan Song…” the Doctor says with a huge grin on his face, in contrast to the immensely sad, pained expression he showed just seconds ago, as he opens the TARDIS door, “welcome to Contraxia.”

Chapter Text

“Wow!” I exclaim as I exit the TARDIS, taking in the environment around me.

Words can’t describe the world around me. The TARDIS seemed to land in a small alcove behind a desk that overlooked the people bustling this way and that, dressed in what appear to be colorful costumes in the form of peculiar-looking aliens, making me believe that we had landed in a Comic-Con convention; however, this is no convention, nor are these normal people. They are aliens! Real, proper aliens!

Walking out of the alcove, people—or rather aliens—continue to meander around me, many carrying large bags and cases, like the typical suitcases that humans drag through an airport. The building appears to curve around in a ‘C’ shape toward the left and right. Through the window, there are tall skyscrapers, many of which seem to reach all the way through the clouds; and in the sky, ships of various sizes fly overhead in lines, like lanes on a typical road, except in the sky and without an actual road. The place is unlike anything I’ve seen on Earth; in fact, there’s nothing like this on Earth. This looks more like a place out of a Star Wars movie; the planet Coruscant, to be specific, except the Doctor gave it a different name—a similar name, but different. ‘Contacts,’ was it?

“This is…” I say, in complete and utter awe, as I continue walking in circles, basking in the majesty. “This is just—Whoa!”

I was so preoccupied with taking in the sites that, apparently, I wasn’t paying attention, and I had accidentally backed into someone…or rather something—a Sontaran, to be specific. I could recognize that ugly purple armor anywhere, but this time, the creature’s helmet is off, showing an even uglier bulbous head.

“Watch where you tread, human scum!” it growls at me, practically spitting in my face. When it says this, it stands up as if to try to look more intimidating, but it fails, since I am a few inches taller.

Regardless of its species, I can’t help but apologize. “I am so sorry! I didn’t mean to. I-I was just—”

“Nova!” the Doctor exclaims, rushing to me. “Are you alright?” He grabs me by the arms as if inspecting me for injuries.

I nod. “I’m fine. I just accidentally bumped into…that.” Seeing the Sontaran there makes me seethe in anger, remembering that one had tried and nearly succeeded to kill me and Hazel back in high school.

The Doctor then smiles at the Sontaran and says while pulling me away, “Sorry about that! New planet. You gotta cut her some slack.”

Hearing these words apparently makes the Sontaran angrier. Ignoring the Doctor, it spits at me again, saying, “‘Bump’ into me again, boy, and I’ll cut you more than slack! I’ll cut you into little pieces and destroy whatever is left of your feeble human body in the name of Sontar!” It then saunters away, mumbling what I can only guess to be profanity in its native language under its breath.

“Rude!” I scoff indignantly, crossing my arms over my chest. Apparently, racism is still a thing on other planets as well, and is just as bad here—if not more so—as it is on Earth. Some things never change.

“Sorry, Nova,” the Doctor apologizes with a sigh, glaring daggers at the Sontaran’s back as it leaves. “You gotta watch out for those Sontarans; they’re real nasty pieces of work, the lot of them.”

“Yeah,” I snort with a raised eyebrow, “considering one of them tried to kill me and my friend back in high school. They sure look nasty without their helmet; like a talking baked potato.”

“Now, Nova, don’t be rude,” the Doctor looks at me disapprovingly. “You look like a pink weasel to him.”

I stare incredulously at him. “I’m being rude?! He was rude to me, calling me a boy, which I’m obviously not; I’m a girl! He even called me a human, which I’m also technically not! Imagine if he knew what we actually were, though; he’d probably be scared out of his baked potato skin!” A small part of me is tempted to go ahead and do that anyway, as well as knock it on the back of its collared neck again. I never really found out whether the Sontaran that attacked Hazel and I survived or not, but in any case, the Sontaran that had just left would definitely deserve a very similar fate.

“You may not be wrong,” the Doctor sighs again. “Though it’s probably best that you keep those kinds of thoughts to yourself. We don’t want anyone finding out who we are…not to mention what we are.”

“Wouldn’t people recognize the TARDIS?” I ask, glancing at the place where it was parked. “I mean, it’s been shown in various history books all over the world—Earth, I mean, and probably in books on other planets too. I once saw an image on the Internet of a small blue box in a stain-glass window of a church somewhere in London. It looked just like the TARDIS. There was even a story behind it, of the box mysteriously appearing out of nowhere, and a man coming out of it and saving a bunch of people from a ‘demon’ that fell from the sky. The people called the man ‘The Sainted Physician.’” I then raise an eyebrow at the Doctor. “I’m guessing that ‘Sainted Physician’ was you.”

“I wouldn’t doubt it,” he says with a shrug. “Know any other ‘physicians’ with a magical blue box from the stars?”

Shrugging my own shoulders, I say, “Well, I didn’t know any until today…or yesterday.” I then pause. “Wait, how long was I asleep for? It felt like I had slept for eight hours at least, which is how long humans typically sleep for.”

“You only slept for about half the time,” the Doctor admits. “Not very long at all.”

“Really?” I say in amazement. “Only four hours?” I could’ve sworn I slept way longer. Not long after River left my room, I passed out almost instantly, and during that time, I never knew how much time had truly passed. Perhaps time runs differently in a time-machine versus in the real world.

“That’s about the typical amount of time that Time Lords sleep for,” he explains. “Though we don’t need sleep every day; that would be preposterous! Who needs sleep when there’s so much to see in the universe? Sleep is highly overrated!”

“Well, sleep can sometimes be very good for you,” I chuckle. “I definitely needed that sleep.” I refrain from saying anything about the dream, which was definitely something I didn’t need.

“You most certainly did,” the Doctor says, rubbing my shoulders gently. “You’ve been through a lot.”

“Speaking of which, when do you think we’ll see Mom—sorry, River again?” I ask, suddenly thinking of her. “Once she’s found something on where they’ve been taken, she’ll call us, won’t she?”

“Of course!” the Doctor nods as he begins walking around the curve with his arm still around me. “She knows how much you care about your family. She’ll do whatever it takes to bring them back, wherever and whenever they are.”

“I still think I should’ve gone with her,” I admit with a sigh, glancing at the floor as we walk, “even if she wasn’t going to let me. Everything that’d happened was my fault. I should be the one to fix it all. It’s my duty.”

“I know you do,” he says, pulling me closer and rubbing his hand up and down my arm in an assuring manner, “but you’re not strong enough. You need more experience first. That’s why I brought you here.”

“Where exactly is ‘here?’” I ask, looking around at all the aliens around us. “You said this was a place called Contracts, or something.”

After I finish talking, I suddenly flinch when I see a man dressed in a grey suit and bowler, like a member of the Mafia taken out of a 1930s movie; except he isn’t a man but rather a giant mass of what appear to be thousands of cockroaches—or cockroach-like aliens—taking the form of a man. Upon seeing this, I fight back the urge to gag, as I have a slight phobia to things that crawl on six legs or more, especially in giant masses such as that. The ‘man’ faces me and appears to glare at me as if deciding to take me as its next victim, which sends creepy vibes up my spine. However, I sense that the Doctor is not bothered by the horrifying sight, seeming to either be totally used to it (as he may have seen beings like this many times while on his travels), or is totally oblivious to it. Either way, I’m glad he doesn’t decide to talk to the guy and keeps walking instead. Who would want to make friends with an insect, anyway? I snort in my head to myself, knowing how utterly ridiculous that sounds.

“Contraxia,” the Doctor answers, clearly oblivious to my discomfort toward the cockroach-man. “The most diverse planet in the Paroobian Spiral Galaxy. Approximately a dozen-trillion-trillion light years from your Milky Way Galaxy.”

“Whoa!” I say in shock. “I’m twelve-trillion-trillion light years away from home?! That’s insane! I wish I could tell Hazel!” I then pause, realizing that she can’t be contacted. “But I can’t. She’s gone.”

“Not for long,” the Doctor assures gently. “Your mother will find them. I know she will. If not, we’ll find them…the two of us.”

“I thought you said I wasn’t experienced enough,” I say with a puzzled frown. Did he change his mind? I wonder. Does he finally trust that I can take care of myself just fine without him?

“You’re not,” he says to confirm what I said, and it makes me fail to prevent my eyes from rolling. “Not yet anyway. Once you’ve seen a bit of what the universe has to offer, you’ll be good enough to move on to the next step.”

“The next step of what?” I ask. “My training?”

“Precisely!” he says, squeezing my shoulders and holding me out to the environment. “I brought you here to teach you the ins and outs of the universe; obviously not just to show you that humans aren’t the only ones out there. I will mostly be teaching you what I do for a living. What I’ve been doing for twelve-hundred years. And also, so we can get to know each other a bit more,” he adds after a short pause, still sensing my discomfort about being far from home—apparently twelve-trillion-trillion light years—with a stranger, despite said stranger being blood-related to me.

“‘The family business,’ right?” I can’t help asking to confirm his statement.

“Yes, I suppose you could call it that,” he says, nodding seemingly uncertainly. “Travelling the universe and finding trouble to get involved in.”

“Okay,” I say, still feeling uncertain about all of this. “As awesome as all of that sounds—travelling the universe, I mean, but the ‘finding trouble to get involved in’ part, not so much—shouldn’t we focus on helping River? It doesn’t feel right to do our own travelling while my family is under threat of death; not that they are, but we don’t know that for sure. Besides, if the Silence are using my family to get to me, why can’t I…you know…turn myself in? Then they might let them go, if it’s only me they want.” Surely the Silence will have no further use for my guardians once they have me, and they’ll let them go home peacefully and never target them again.

“‘Might,’” the Doctor says, emphasizing the word like it should be bolded, circled, and highlighted a million times on paper to show its importance. “That’s the thing we’re not certain of. They might let your family go, but there’s a high chance they won’t. We’re not going to take that risk, hence why we’re not letting you anywhere near them. The Silence are unpredictable, ruthless, cunning, practically have the word ‘death’ written all over them.”

“Isn’t that what ‘silence’ means?” I ask with a raised eyebrow. “Not just to silence someone, as in, render them speechless, but to…you know…” I then pull my finger across my throat to symbolize my message, not feeling comfortable saying it out loud.

“Kill someone?” he says, apparently going ahead and saying what I didn’t want to say out loud. “Yes. To be more specific, to kill anything and everything that could reveal the answer to the First Question.”

I nod, knowing what he is referring to. “Or ‘Silence will fall.’ Yeah, I get it. But there was another ‘fall’ you mentioned earlier. ‘The Fall of the Eleventh.’ What’s that?”

There’s ‘silence,’ meaning to keep silent about a secret—in this case, the answer to the First Question, like the Doctor said, that being his name; but what does ‘fall’ mean for the Silence organization? Is it like the fall of an empire; in this case, ‘fall’ as in ‘death?’ If the First Question is answered, will the Silence/Vokanari see their ultimate defeat? And what about ‘the fall of the Eleventh?’ What exactly is ‘the Eleventh?’ Is it a person? If so, is this person also destined to die once the Question is answered?

 “Ah, now that’s complicated,” the Doctor says in a seemingly disturbed manner, like he sensed all of my internal questions. “That’s something to be discussed behind closed doors, and certainly not here.”

“Why, is it something bad?” I ask curiously. “Like, something so bad that it could bring about the end of the universe?” If my theory about whoever ‘the Eleventh’ is being destined to die is true, that certainly sounds bad. If we knew the identity of the person, perhaps we could save that person’s life, whoever it is. Perhaps this ‘Eleventh’ person is close to the Doctor.

“Something like that,” he nods. “Like I said, it’s complicated.” He then exclaims suddenly, “Ooh! I just remembered, there’s a good ice cream place just around this bend! Come on, I’m starving!” He squeezes my hand in a viselike grip and pulls me along, giving me no choice but to follow him. Clearly, he wants nothing to do with the ‘fall of the Eleventh’ topic anymore, making me think he knows something about it that he clearly doesn’t want to tell me. In any case, I find it very suspicious.

“Me too, actually,” I say, suddenly feeling my stomach growl. “I haven’t eaten anything since the café outside the London Eye with Hazel.” I am still amazed that that was just six or so hours ago. I then pause. “Wait! There’s ice cream on other planets? I thought that was just an Earth thing!”

“Of course not!” the Doctor says, shaking his head. “There’s ice cream everywhere! In fact, this is the best ice cream this side of the galaxy!”

I chuckle and say, “Okay. I’m excited to try it.” I am also astounded that the Doctor can go from being the weary old man that he was before we left the TARDIS to an energetic child within seconds. What’s up with that? I wonder. It’s like he’s bipolar, or something.

For the next minute of walking, I continue taking in my surroundings. I still can’t get over the fact that I’m on an alien planet! Never in my entire life did I think this would be possible until today!

One thing I also didn’t think possible is the fact that almost every sign on display is written in perfect English, which I find very strange. I seriously doubt the natives had purposefully translated their signs to English specifically for me; it’d be insanely weird if they did, needless to say. Even several of the alien species around me is talking in perfect English. What the heck?

Regardless, I can’t help asking my father, “Hey, have you noticed that almost everything here is in English? We’re on an alien planet, twelve-trillion-trillion light years from Earth, and everything’s in English. Even some of the people are talking in English. How is that possible?”

“It’s the TARDIS translating for you,” he explains casually, like there is absolutely nothing wrong with that at all, even though for me it’s admittedly the weirdest thing I’ve noticed so far. “Almost every language in the universe that you read and hear, the TARDIS can translate it to your native tongue.”

“That’s actually kinda cool!” I say honestly. “I wonder what would happen if you spoke their language while the TARDIS is translating; like, for example, speaking Latin to a native Latin-speaker.” Surely there’d be no difference, right?

“Then it would sound Celtic to them,” he says with a slight frown, like the outcome is totally incomprehensible to him. 

“What?” I ask, also struggling to comprehend that outcome.

“A friend of mine did that, and the native mistook her speech for Celtic,” he says as if that explains the situation and I should accept it as it is, even though it still greatly baffles me.

“Why?” I ask, hoping to get a more logical explanation out of him.

But apparently, he is no further help. “No idea,” he shrugs. As a response, I can’t help but think, well, I guess that answers that…not! He then frowns at me. “You ask a lot of unnecessary questions.”

“Can you blame me?” I scoff at him. “We’re standing on a freaking alien planet, which I never thought was possible until today! Heck, I didn’t even know time-travel existed until today! These kinds of things should only exist in Sci-Fi movies, but it’s all real! All of these people around us, they’re not ordinary humans in costume, like you’d normally see at a Comic-Con convention; no, these people are actual aliens! Like, these are what they actually look like! How freaking insane is that?!” The more I speak, the faster my hearts beat, and the more I struggle to control them.  

The Doctor must sense this, because he says, rubbing my shoulders up and down, “Okay, Nova, calm down. Take deep breaths.”

“Sorry,” I say as I attempt to do what he says. “I’m freaking out a little bit,” I laugh as a joke.

“I can see that,” he nods. He then rubs my back soothingly. “It’s alright; everything you’re seeing is completely new to you. You’ll get used to it eventually. Every companion I’ve had travel with me has been in your shoes before, including your grandparents. It’s perfectly natural.”

“I’m alright,” I say, taking a deep breath in and exhale out. “How about that ice cream, huh?”

The Doctor grins from ear to ear at this and says, “I thought you’d never ask! Come along!” He then takes my hand again and directs me toward a small café-looking place with a large neon sign at the top that says ‘Orka’s’ in neat lettering.

“‘Orka’s?’ Like the whale?” I ask, reading the sign. “Also, I thought it was spelt with a ‘C,’ not a ‘K.’” I also think it’s a very peculiar name for an ice cream place. The name seems better fitting for a seafood place instead, but that’s just me.

“It is spelt with a ‘C’ on Earth,” the Doctor explains. “Here, it’s spelt with a ‘K.’ ‘Orka,’ named after the goddess Orka of Orkatakalaxia.”

“Sheesh, that’s a mouthful!” I say after attempting to repeat the name, only to fail miserably. “What’s it like? The ice cream, I mean.”

“Oh, it’s excellent!” he says, grinning more broadly. “It’s to die for, actually.”

He begins walking ahead, and I follow suit when I am suddenly halted by a strange, deep, female voice whispering in my head, ‘Yes, especially for you, Time Lord.’ Upon hearing the ominous voice, I feel a sense of dread rush up my spine.

“What the…?” I gasp. “What was that?” I look around for the owner of the voice, but there are so many people around, it is difficult to pinpoint who said those sinister words. Everyone seems to be preoccupied in their own worries to have any interest in us Time Lords—well, except for one person. One downright creepy person.  

“Nova?” the Doctor calls to me, interrupting my thoughts. “You alright? You coming?”

Deciding to keep the creepy voice to myself so as not to worry him, I call back to him, “Yeah! Sorry.” I then murmur to myself, “That was weird,” as I join him at the entrance of the ice cream place.

Shortly after joining him, we are greeted by a mousy woman with long, thin hair that looks like it has never been washed; in fact, it appears to be falling out of her scalp. Her body is so thin that I can practically see right through to her bones, like her muscles have completely vanished or have never existed in the first place. However, the one thing that really stands out from her is her many eyes blinking at me from almost every exposed part of her skin, making me think of Argus from Greek mythology.

“Hello there!” the multi-eyed woman says cheerfully to us with a smile, and with a voice that sounds eerily similar to the creepy voice I heard just seconds ago, just in a slightly higher pitch. “Welcome to Orka’s! How may I help you on this fine day?”

“Whoa!” I cry in shock at her unnatural appearance, instinctively covering my mouth in disgust. I can honestly say she is the most hideous woman I have ever laid eyes on—no pun intended, since she is clearly covered from head to toe in them. Seeing her like this sends even more creepy chills up my spine.

“‘Whoa?’” Multi-Eyes asks me with a raised eyebrow—yes, ‘eye’-brow, as there are many small eyes in place of where her eyebrows should be (again, no pun intended). “I’m sorry, I don’t know what you mean by ‘whoa.’ What a very unusual word.”

At this point, I am rendered totally speechless, as well as at a total loss of appetite; in fact, seeing her like this makes me want to hurl. She literally looks like someone right out of one of my nightmares; not that I’ve ever dreamt of someone like this. Now, I don’t think I’ll have a choice.    

“It’s an Earth expression for surprise,” the Doctor explains for me, wrapping his arm around me. “You’ll have to excuse my daughter; she’s never been outside her home-planet before. New planet and new species and all, you understand.”

Wow, I think in my head as a response, I couldn’t have said it better myself. Unfortunately, the only thing I can say is a timid, “Sorry.” Of course, I say this without making eye contact—Ugh, again with the ‘eye’ puns? That’s three now.

“That’s alright, young one,” Multi-Eyes says sweetly, waving her hand (which is also covered in extra eyes) in a no-big-deal manner. “Everyone is perfectly trustworthy here. Thank you for choosing to visit us today. Here are your menus. I hope you enjoy your stay here on Contraxia, for however long you’ll be staying.”

“Happy to be here, as always!” The Doctor smiles as he takes two menus from her and hands one to me.

“Dude!” I exclaim after Multi-Eyes is out of earshot, turning to the Doctor. “She has eyes everywhere! Her entire body! That’s just creepy!”

“Yeah,” he nods, and I am genuinely surprised that he agrees with me. “Best to not stare at them too long. I make a point to stay away from their planet. Too many places where eyes shouldn’t be. Ugh!” He shakes his head as if to get the disturbing image out of his vision. He then glances down at his menu. “Right! What’s on the menu?” He suddenly growls. “Ah, looks like its translation matrix is faulty for me again. It does that every time I come here.”

“What?” I ask, puzzled, as I glance over at his menu. It looks like a regular menu, except with a bunch of wavy lines, like what you see on a laggy computer screen when it’s not working properly. “That’s weird,” I say before I glance at mine. I frown when I see the exact same thing on my menu. “Ugh, mine’s like that too,” I groan, but a second later, my menu changes, and the wavy lines gradually become eligible, with printed words written in English. I gasp. “No, wait! It’s working! Now it’s in English! That was weird; why was it all laggy for us at first?”

“There are certain languages that are so old that they are no longer able to be translated,” the Doctor explains before continuing in a low whisper in my ear, “such as Gallifreyan script. These menus only translate into the native language of the person holding it. Even the TARDIS can’t translate certain languages because of how old they are.”

“Ah, okay,” I nod understandingly. The menu must’ve thought his native language was Gallifreyan because it sensed he was a Time Lord, but since the planet is believed to no longer exist and hasn’t for centuries, Gallifreyan can no longer be translated, hence why the menu was struggling to translate for him. The same thing briefly happened to mine before it settled on English. I point this out, asking, “So why did it settle on English for me, despite me being born…like you?” I didn’t think it was wise to reveal our true origin, since the Doctor whispered it before, like he didn’t want the rest of the world to know.

“Perhaps because your first language was English,” the Doctor confirms, “even though it sensed that you were…a different species.”

“That makes sense,” I nod again. “I never learned Gallifreyan. I’d like to, though. It sounds pretty. Looks pretty too.” My statement makes me remember the intricate circular symbols on my locket around my neck. “Though, to be frank,” I admit, “we don’t look any different from humans. Well, except for the ‘two hearts’ thing. That’s the only physical difference, really.”

“You’re right,” the Doctor chuckles. “As for Gallifreyan, it’s a very complex language. I’ll teach it to you eventually. It is your birthright, after all. I’ll even teach you how to pilot the TARDIS at some point.”

“Sweet!” I smile. “I can’t wait to learn both, especially piloting.” As complicated as all the buttons, dials, and levers are on the console (how the Doctor manages to operate that thing all by himself, I’ll never know), I’m still anxious to learn what each of them do and how they work. I figure it’ll be much more complex than the normal Driver’s Ed that I learned in school. Piloting a TARDIS will be nowhere close to that. No matter, I’m excited anyways.

“So,” I say, raising my menu, “what looks good?”

We spend a minute perusing through the menu, the Doctor pointing out what’s good and what isn’t, as he had been here many times before, sometimes with other ‘companions,’ i.e., those he travels with. Since I joined him, he claims I am now a ‘companion,’ but the way he says it about me sounds a bit weird to me. ‘Companion’ sounds almost like someone to mate with, and as his daughter, I am certainly not that kind of person. Then again, ‘companion’ is also a term for a friend, which is more what I’m like to him, despite us being blood related. It sounds a lot less creepy that way.

Many of the things listed in the menu are named in very funky ways and contain very funky ingredients that sound nothing like anything on Earth. Even though the Doctor insists that I give some of the foreign stuff a go, I ultimately decide to get something much closer to home, as I don’t feel brave enough to try anything non-human yet. Luckily, the ice cream place possessed a smoothie machine that could create any kind of smoothie in the universe, including Earth ones. I ultimately decide to purchase a smoothie.

It takes me a while to figure out how the smoothie machine works. I learn that the key is to speak through a little microphone while holding your head between two sensors, and it detects what you are picturing in your head. My childhood favorite smoothie flavor has always been strawberry-banana, so I order the smoothie machine to make one while picturing the two fruits in my head, and a large cup appears on the plate in front of me, complete with a lid and straw. I hesitantly take the cup and suck through the straw, and surprisingly the taste of strawberry and banana touches my tongue.

“Whoa!” I cry in shock at the accuracy of the smoothie machine. “I cannot believe that worked! That’s so cool! I need one of these at home!” I continue sucking more strawberry-banana into my mouth as I approach the main counter, and I almost choke when I see the multi-eyed lady standing behind the register as the cashier.

Multi-Eyes greets me again, using her typical sweet voice, and asks me what I am ordering. I tell her, as well as ask if I have to pay extra for ordering a flavor that is from off-world, to which Multi-Eyes says that I don’t and that all smoothies are the same price, no matter what flavor. “That would be ten Axias, please,” she tells me.

I pause. ‘Axias?’ What in the world are those? “Uh... ‘Axias?’” I ask, puzzled. “Are those, like, coins or something, like pennies or nickels?” Multi-Eyes just stares at me like I am speaking an alien language to her—which, technically, I am, if it weren’t for the TARDIS translating everything. “Sorry, I’m new to this planet. Actually, I’m new to every planet that’s not my own. I only have American dollars; that’s Earth money.”

“It’s okay, Nova, I’ll pay!” I hear the Doctor suddenly speak up. “You sit down!” He approaches the counter in my place, and I thank him as I seat myself at one of the tables along the far wall. A minute later, he joins me at the table, but his hands are empty.

“You didn’t order anything?” I ask curiously.

“I did,” he says. “They’re making it right now. They say it’ll be ready in a couple of minutes.” I nod as I continue drinking my smoothie in silence. “How’s your smoothie?” he asks after another minute.

“Really good,” I say with much enthusiasm. “It tastes just like what I always order at home. To be honest, I’m not quite ready to try any non-Earth foods yet. I’m still getting used to the fact that I’m not on Earth anymore. It’s weird but also amazing at the same time.” I always imagined myself in a world like this, but I never thought I’d actually travel to a real alien world. It’s like a childhood dream come true, but now that I’m here, I honestly don’t know what to think, since I never thought this would be possible.

“Yeah,” the Doctor agrees with a smile.

“Man, I still have so many questions,” I say with a sigh. I then see the Doctor’s expression morph into one of uneasiness, and I say, “Sorry, I know I’ve asked way too many questions already, and you don’t want to answer any more.”

“No, you can ask as many questions as you’d like,” he says, shaking his head, “but just know that there are certain questions I can’t answer, especially not here.”

I nod. “Yeah, like our species’ history, and that sketchy prophecy you mentioned earlier. If we can’t talk about any of those things, what about my training? You said you brought me here for a reason, and I’m guessing you didn’t just bring me here for ice cream like dads and daughters typically do together. Why did you really bring me here?”

“I told you, I brought you here to show you what I do for a living,” he says in a slightly annoyed tone, like he hates having to repeat himself. Regardless, I am still at a bit of a loss.

“Which is what?” I ask. “I doubt that…this is what you do every day.” I gesture to the ice cream shop. “You do much more than go out for ice cream with the people you travel with. You’re mentioned in history! You’re depicted on a stain-glass window of the church I mentioned earlier—well, the TARDIS! You were caught on camera witnessing JFK’s assassination; well, not you, but a past version of you! You were caught in several other moments in Earth history! You obviously like to make a good impression on our planet, and I wouldn’t be surprised you involve yourself in other planets’ histories as well.”

“Those were accidents!” he says in a defensive tone. “I don’t purposefully involve myself in history. I try to prevent people from changing history, and in so doing, I unintentionally find myself getting involved in it. I never intend to get involved in history.” He then pauses, thinking better. “Well, except for when I accidentally invented the Banana Daiquiri a few centuries early in 18^th Century France, or the time when I stupidly married Queen Elizabeth I. I was pretty naïve and had vanity issues at the time.”

“You married the Virgin Queen?” I say in shock. Suddenly realizing that this story is irrelevant to our current topic of conversation, I shake my head and say, “Never mind. So that’s what you do—travel to various points in history and prevent anyone from changing them?”

“Exactly!” the Doctor nods. “I also travel around for fun, when I’m not needed anywhere.”

“So, what’re we doing here?” I ask, puzzled. “We’re just waiting around for something bad to happen and then stop it?”

“Exactly!” he says again, this time in an impressed tone. “The first step of training: blend in with your surroundings, like what we’re doing right now. Second step: Wait and observe. Look for anything and everything out of the ordinary.”

“Well, if I’m completely honest, everything here is out of the ordinary,” I say with a shrug.

“That’s only because you’ve never been outside Earth before,” the Doctor points out. “You’ll learn to get used to the various oddities you encounter whilst on your travels with me. This is only the beginning for you.”

“Such as hearing creepy voices in my head?” I blurt out, not really meaning to. Considering it to be one of said ‘oddities’ to me, I felt the need to go ahead and share it. Perhaps this is one of the ‘out of the ordinary’ signs that he wants me to look for.

“When did you hear a creepy voice in your head?” he frowns. “You’re not talking about the TARDIS, are you?” He says that last bit in an offended tone, like he doesn’t appreciate me thinking about his precious time-machine like that.

“No,” I say hastily. I then shrug and say, “Well, yes; that was creepy at the time, but no. I heard another voice. A few minutes ago, right before we came in here.”

“What voice?” he asks, narrowing his eyes in concern.

“I don’t know,” I say honestly. “I don’t know who said it, but it was a response to what you said earlier, when you said that the ice cream was ‘to die for.’ The voice responded by saying, quote, ‘especially for you, Time Lord.’ It was like they were saying it like they were planning to kill you by poisoning your ice cream, or something. It sounds ridiculous, I know, but that was for real what I heard.” I then say, thinking aloud, “It was weird, though, when they said ‘Time Lord,’ singular, rather than plural. I did notice that the voice enunciated the word ‘you,’ as in, you.” I gesture to the Doctor. “Or maybe it was referring to me; I don’t know.”

The Doctor is silent for a few seconds, and I can sense a small hint of anger in him, like he doesn’t approve for some creeper to be seemingly randomly targeting us (or rather one of us—me or him), though there’s actually nothing random about it. “I didn’t hear anything,” he suddenly says, shaking his head, and I get the sense that his statement is a lie. Why else would he have waited that long to say something?

I sigh. “Well, I did, and it was creepy.” I then glance around the shop, even out in the main hallway, suddenly getting the sense like we’re being watched. “And what’s even creepier is that literally anyone could’ve said it. There are so many people here; it could’ve been from any one of them.”

“Are you sure you’re not just being paranoid?” the Doctor says uncertainly with a raised eyebrow. “You could’ve just heard someone in passing, but they were talking about someone else.”

I frown, suddenly feeling angry. I’d just talked about a creepy voice I heard, and the Doctor, my own father, doesn’t seem to believe me! What the hell?

“You said we were the only Time Lords left in the whole universe!” I say in annoyance. “Who else do you think they were talking about?” Instead of answering, the Doctor just stares at me, and I don’t know if it’s because he knows I’m right or just doesn’t know how to respond. Regardless, I say to confirm my own statement, “Exactly, no one else; so, they had to have been talking about us, or rather you. Whoever said that they obviously want you dead. They could be a Silence member.” Surely if that’s the case, he’d actually take my statement seriously, right? I mean, he’d have to.

However, instead, he puts his hands up in surrender and says, “Nova, you’re talking too loudly. You’re being paranoid. You need to cal—”

“Don’t tell me to calm down!” I scream at him, slamming my hand loudly on the table and almost knocking my smoothie over. “I know what I heard, and I’m scared, because I don’t want you killed!” Why doesn’t he get it?! Why doesn’t he understand that I don’t want to lose another father?

I am suddenly startled when Multi-Eyes approaches our table with a large bowl of what looks like a Banana Split. “Uh, sorry to interrupt, but your dessert is ready, sir,” she says awkwardly as she carefully slides the bowl in front of the Doctor. I cross my arms and lean back in my chair uncomfortably, staring at the floor.

“Thank you,” the Doctor says gently, and Multi-Eyes rushes away, leaving us alone. There is an awkward silence between us, as neither of us is willing to speak—the Doctor not wanting to say anything for fear of upsetting me further, and me not wanting to speak to him out of anger and frustration for not taking his own daughter seriously.

After a minute of this, I can’t take it anymore. I swiftly rise from my seat and turn toward the exit of the shop.

“Nova! Where’re you going?” the Doctor asks, standing up from his seat in an attempt to follow me, but I refuse to let him.

“Back to the TARDIS,” I say without looking at him. “I need to be alone. I need to think.” I begin walking out of the shop, but not before turning back and grabbing my smoothie off the table, not wanting to leave it behind.

“Wait!” the Doctor says in an attempt to stop me, but I don’t listen.

“No!” I snap back at him. “Please leave me!”

He suddenly grabs my arm and says, “No, you need a key!” His statement makes me pause, knowing he could be right. I reluctantly turn back to him as he pulls a small silver key from his jacket pocket. He hands it to me, saying, “You need this to get in. Keep it, that’s yours.”

I don’t even thank him. I just take it and rush out of there, not looking back.

Chapter Text

Once I make my way back to the TARDIS, I notice something strange. A seemingly random man stands in front of the doors, tugging fruitlessly on the handles, trying to get in. Upon seeing this bizarre behavior, I clear my throat to get the man’s attention. Upon hearing me, the man pauses and swiftly turns to me like he’s been caught trespassing—which, he technically is, as he’s clearly trying to get access to something that doesn’t belong to him. When he turns around to face me, I can see that his face is not quite as human as I originally expected; his face appears humanlike, albeit puffed out like he’d been stung by a thousand bees, but his nose appears to be that of a pig’s snout.

“Excuse me,” I say as politely as I could muster as I approach. Luckily the man moves out of the way, but when he does so, he smirks at me in a very creepy way, like he had set a trap for me and is thrilled that I had walked right into it blindly. His stare makes me uncomfortable, but I ignore it as I use the key the Doctor gave me to unlock the TARDIS. After I enter, I close the doors quickly out of fear of the creepy pig-man following me inside. I then walk up the stairs to the elevated platform and collapse on the cushioned chair, but not before setting my drink gently on the bottom stair next to the chair.

“Ugh, this is sick!” I groan, burying my face in my hands and feeling that familiar anger burning inside me. “I am so sick of this! I am so sick of him! He doesn’t understand me! Why doesn’t he understand? My family is in danger, possibly dead, and he doesn’t seem to care! We should be saving them, but instead all he cares about is my stupid training, whatever that is; he doesn’t even care about me! How I feel! He thinks he’s helping me, but he’s making things worse! He doesn’t care about my family, nor wanting anything to do with saving them! He wants nothing to do with them now that he has me back!” The more I speak, the more emotional and angrier I feel. “I should’ve just kept running when I had the chance! I should never have left home!” I feel guiltier than ever, and I can’t stand it. Not anymore.

‘Then you would’ve been captured as well,’ I suddenly hear the mysterious woman’s voice—the TARDIS’s voice—again in my head. ‘The Doctor was never going to allow that to happen.’

“I don’t care!” I answer the voice on instinct. “If I’d stayed, I would’ve protected them! Even if I was captured, rather it be me than them!”

‘Then you would’ve been made an assassin!’ the TARDIS says seriously. ‘Is that really what you would’ve wanted to become?’

Her words suddenly make me pause. She’s right, of course. If I stayed with my guardians instead of leaving when I did, the Silence would’ve gotten me too.

“Well…no,” I reply hesitantly. “Of course not!” Why would I want to become an assassin? Who would?

‘You did the right thing to leave,’ the TARDIS assures me, but I instantly feel the complete opposite.

“How can you say that?” I say incredulously. “Of course, I didn’t! Because I left, I gave the Silence the perfect opportunity to snatch them, and now they’re using them as bait to get to me! If they haven’t already killed them…” My last statement makes me think of my dream of that nameless Silence member using that electric probe on my father-guardian. If that was real and my father-guardian is now dead…

‘Don’t lose hope, Nova,’ the TARDIS says in a pleading tone. ‘Even the word ‘hopeless’ isn’t void of hope.’

Her words suddenly make me glance up at her, or rather the tall column in the center of the console. Would that be where her face would generally be if she was a real person, I wonder?

‘I understand what you are feeling,’ she continues in a sympathetic tone. ‘You want to save your family, but you’re weak. You don’t have the strength to fight off an entire army by yourself, not to mention the knowledge required to take down said army. You don’t know what the Silence are capable of. Like the Doctor said, the Silence are ruthless, cunning, and overall manipulative. If they captured you, they would’ve done unfathomable things to you—terrible things you cannot even imagine. By leaving when you did, you delayed the inevitable. Now that you are here, they can no longer get to you, so long as you stay within me.’

“The Doctor said this was the only safe place for me,” I point out. “Are you saying he’s right?”

‘He is,’ the TARDIS confirms. ‘He wants what is best for you, and what is best is that you are safe from the clutches of the Silence.’

“He can’t protect me forever,” I sigh in annoyance. “I can’t stay in here forever. No offense.” I understand that even the Doctor’s TARDIS wants to keep me safe, but she must understand that I don’t want to be a prisoner inside her walls, never being allowed to see the outside world again.

‘No offense taken,’ she assures me, making me believe that she actually does understand.

Nevertheless, I still feel the need to explain myself. “I have a life of my own, and I want to live it the way I want to live it. I understand that Dad—” I suddenly shake my head and immediately correct myself. “The Doctor wants to train me to be like him, but…I don’t know if that’s what I want. Don’t get me wrong, the idea of time-travel is amazing. You’re amazing!”

‘Thank you,’ the TARDIS says with genuine appreciation.

“But…I just want to be normal,” I continue with a sigh. “I want a normal life. I don’t want to live in fear anymore, not knowing whether my next-door neighbor could secretly be a Silence member; not that that’s true, but you know what I mean. Although, it turned out my martial arts instructor was a Silence member all along, and one that had also trained River back in the day.” I sigh again. “The Doctor says Time Lords can’t have normal lives; like, they can’t settle in one place for fear of attracting danger. I have lived with that fear my whole life, and I’m sick and tired of it. If there’s any way I can…I don’t know…give up my powers or something, that would be great. River did it.”

‘She did,’ the TARDIS says as a way of nodding in agreement, ‘and she saved the Doctor’s life. Perhaps you could do the same if you kept your powers. They could be quite useful to you.’

“But can I live a normal life with them?” I ask seriously. “That’s what I really want.” It’s what I’ve wanted for my entire life, my future included.

‘It’s hard to say,’ she says apologetically, though I can’t help but think she is lying. Surely, as a time-machine, she must see a certain future where this happens, right? Hopefully, I am currently treading down that path as we speak. ‘One thing that is for certain is that you won’t have a normal life with the Silence always hunting you down. You won’t truly be safe until they are gone for good.’

I can’t help groaning at her response. “You too, huh? The Doctor and River said the same thing.” Who knew a time-machine could have the same opinions and feelings as them, like she is a regular person with the same thoughts and emotions as everyone else in the universe.

‘And they are right,’ she confirms honestly. ‘Be patient. All good things to those who wait.’

“Says the sentient time-machine that can just hop to the future in a flash,” I can’t help scoffing at her. “I can’t believe I’m even talking to a time-machine, and one is talking back…well, telepathically, but still talking nonetheless.” Again, I thought this only existed in Science Fiction movies, and clearly this proves that Science Fiction is no longer Science Fiction. More like ‘Science Non-Fiction.’

‘You get used to it,’ the TARDIS says in a way like how I can imagine a real person to say with a smile.

“Hey, thanks for the pep talk,” I say, smiling back. “I really needed that. I’m gonna be honest, I really hate fighting with the Doctor, but he can make me so angry sometimes. River was right, he really doesn’t think before he speaks.” I suddenly realize that this is typical father-daughter behavior (I know, because I’d often had moments like this with my father-guardian), but I keep this thought to myself.

‘He doesn’t mean to,’ the TARDIS admits honestly. ‘He’s been through a lot.’

“I know,” I nod. “Deep down, I want to trust him…but I don’t know how.”

‘Give yourself time,’ she says in an encouraging tone. ‘You will learn to trust him. He loves you dearly, and he will do whatever it takes to help you.’

“I hope you are right,” I say with a sigh, though not in a way like I don’t believe her.

‘Of course, I’m right,’ she says like she truly does think I doubt what she said. ‘I am Time—past, present, and future. I know the exact moment of when you’ll trust him.’

“Well then, I guess I can’t argue with that,” I chuckle with a raised eyebrow. “You don’t have to tell me when; I can wait. ‘Spoilers,’ right?”

‘Right,’ she chuckles back.

“Of course,” I sigh, suddenly feeling discouraged. “I’m not sure if I’ll ever get used to that word.” I still can’t imagine a family that is required to keep secrets from each other because Time tells them to. Are they even considered ‘family,’ in that case? For some reason, my guts say ‘no,’ knowing that there are generally no secrets between normal family members.

Then again, my family isn’t exactly normal, with my father being perceived as a godlike being from another world, and my mother who was formerly trained to assassinate said ‘godly being.’ Also, what with their out-of-sync timelines, they are cursed to keep secrets from each other for the rest of their days. How they are seemingly willing to continue living with that curse, I’ll never know.

‘You will,’ the TARDIS assures me. ‘It’s part of being a time-traveler.’

“Yeah,” I sigh again. “Clearly I’ve got a lot to learn about that, seeing as this is gonna be my life now.” Not wanting to discuss the topic anymore, I smile, changing the subject, “I think it’d be a bit weird to call you ‘TARDIS’ all the time. Is there a better name I can call you, now that we’re friends?” I then pause, saying with uncertainty, “Uh, that is, if you would like us to be friends.”

‘We can be more than friends,’ she says with what I can imagine to be a smile again. ‘We are family. Anyway, The Doctor calls me ‘Sexy.’ You can call me that if you like.’

“‘Sexy?’” I snort. “Uh, no, I’m not calling you that. That’d be even weirder; makes me sound like I’m gay, which I’m not. Not that there’s anything wrong with being gay, to those who are.” I sigh again, shaking my head. “Sorry. Being awkward again. Is there any other name you like?”

‘Well, there is another name that is in my database,’ the TARDIS admits.

“What’s that?” I ask curiously.

‘Idris,’ she confirms.

“Idris…” I say with a smile. “I like that.” I then stand up and hold my palm against the center column in greeting, like giving a regular person a handshake. “Hello, Idris. I’m Nova. Nova Susan Song. Formerly Sydney Marie Elise.”

‘It is wonderful to meet you, Nova,’ Idris says kindly. I smile sweetly in return.

Unfortunately, this lovely moment is short-lived, because not even a second later, terrified screams can be heard outside Idris’s doors.

“What’s that?” I say in shock, feeling my hearts beat faster out of fear and anxiety. “Why are there screams outside? What is—?”

Suddenly, there is an aggressive lurch, which sends me tumbling to the floor. Half a second later, a loud warning bell is heard within the entire room.

 “What’s that?” I yell over the noise. “Is that you? Why are you making that sound?”

Before anyone could answer, there is another lurch, sending me to the floor again, and this time Idris begins making the familiar house-key-scraping sound, indicating that she’s going into flight mode. The force knocks over my drink, spilling its slushy contents all over the glass floor. I instinctively groan over the mess, but when I look up to the console, I see various controls moving by themselves, like a poltergeist has taken over them.

“What are you doing?” I scream, running to them. “Are you leaving? No, we can’t leave! Something’s going on outside!” In that moment, I try gaining control of the ship, even though I admittedly don’t know what any of the controls do. I struggle to put the levers back to their original positions when they move on their own, but it is fruitless, like fighting against a computer—an otherworldly computer, no less—that is clearly much older and smarter than me. “Idris, stop!” I scream at her. “We can’t leave! We can’t leave Dad!” I then growl in my head to myself, The Doctor, you idiot! The Doctor!

‘I’m sorry, I have to!’ Idris confesses in a panicked tone. ‘My outer shell has been attacked! I need to displace myself before there is any more damage!’

“Displace yourself?” I say with a frown. “What does that mean? Why are you—?”

I yelp as there is a sudden electric shock that courses through my body and knocks me to the floor, making my vision and hearing go fuzzy. For a moment, I feel like I lose consciousness before I manage to gain back my senses to discover that everything is calm once again; well, the aggressive lurching has stopped, but the warning bell continues to blare loudly. Sitting up, I feel pressure in my head from a painful headache, having hit it hard against the glass floor when I fell.

“Ugh… What just happened?” I groan as I struggle to my feet, clutching my head in pain. I look around, and my eyes suddenly fall on my spilt drink on the floor. “Oh, no… Sorry. I’ll clean it up later,” I apologize before I glance to the door, discovering that the screams have also ceased outside. “Everything is calm now, even outside! What happened out there?” I suddenly flinch as my body twitches uncomfortably, like when I’m hit with an electric shock. “Also, why do I feel so weird? I feel so…tingly.”

There is also another sensation I am feeling that is even stranger than this. It’s not exactly a physical pain, but it’s not exactly a mental pain either; in any case, I feel a slight pain from…something. Or someone. Though the source of the pain is unknown, it exists regardless. Before I can figure out its source, the pain vanishes as quickly as it had come, and all that remains is the tingling sensation.

That’s when I remember. I actually was electrocuted. By none other than the TARDIS herself! She purposefully did that to me to stop me from fighting her. What the actual hell!

“What the hell was all that about?” I scream at the center column angrily. “You scared me to death—almost literally!”

‘I’m sorry, Nova,’ Idris says, though she really doesn’t sound sorry at all. ‘I had to stop you fighting me. I set off the Hostile Action Displacement System. Someone was attempting to blow apart the doors and get inside. That was why everyone was screaming.’

“Someone was trying to get in?” I say incredulously, but then I suddenly pause, remembering the creepy pig-man earlier. “Wait! There was a man earlier. He looked like he was trying to figure out a way in. Was it him you were trying to escape?” Was he trying to shoot the doors down with some high-tech gun, which was what everyone else was freaking out over?

‘One of them,’ she admits in a concerned tone.

“One of them?” I say in shock. “You mean there was more than one attacker? Who were those guys? Were they Silence members?”

‘I don’t know, but you need to find the Doctor,’ Idris says nervously, and I can honestly say I’ve never seen—heard—a time-machine act like this before; in fact, I never even imagined I would. ‘He needs you.’

“Okay,” I say with equal nervousness, feeling my hearts pounding a million beats per minute in my chest. “Before I go out there, I need to know where we are.”

‘Exactly where we were, just a few centuries in the future,’ she says in an assuring tone.

I sigh in relief. “Okay. Good.”

I suddenly pause. Wait, did she say, ‘a few centuries?’

“Wait!” I say, thinking better. “No, that’s bad! You said we’re a few centuries in the future? That means the Doctor is—!” I immediately stop myself from finishing that sentence, not wanting to admit the worst of what had possibly befallen my father.

‘The Doctor is alright for now, but he won’t be for much longer,’ Idris says, her anxiety for her beloved pilot increasing, as is mine. ‘You need to find him. Find my thief!’

I nod determinedly. “Okay. Wait, your ‘thief?’” Did the Doctor steal Idris when he left his home-world all those years ago? Or did Idris steal him?

She must’ve sensed my confusion, because she responds by saying, ‘Don’t ask questions! Go! Now! Before it’s too late!’

With that, I waste no more time as I rush to the exit, opening her doors to…

Total destruction.

Chapter Text

“What the hell?!” I exclaim in shock at the completely ruined environment around me.

Okay, maybe not completely ruined, but the majority of it is. In contrast to the environment I’d just left that was bustling with people running this way and that not ten minutes ago, the place now looks utterly devastated, with a dark storm brewing overhead. At first, I don’t recognize where I am, but it’s not until I see the buildings—or what is left of them—far off in the distance that I immediately get my bearings. Like Idris said, we’re exactly where we were, only we seemed to have travelled in Time, far into the future. The building that which we first landed in is still present, only its roof is missing in some places, like a massive tornado had torn through the city and ripped the roof off, as well as anything and everything in its path; even the buildings in the distance have parts missing from them. Large piles of debris are strewn everywhere on the floor, even in front of the TARDIS. After I close the door, I struggle slightly to move a large beam that had fallen from the ceiling above the alcove where we originally landed. Once I manage to get to the center of the C-shaped hallway, I look around for any signs of life, but there seems to be none.

“‘A few centuries,’ you say?” I scoff in a murmur. “More like a few centuries plus. What happened here? I suppose this is what travelling through Time looks like…” Most time-travel movies generally depict the future to be post-apocalyptic, so seeing the world like this admittedly doesn’t surprise me one bit.

Like I said, “Science Fiction no more.”

As I wander toward the general direction of where the ice cream shop is—was—where I left the Doctor, I wonder what happened to him. If a few centuries had really passed, that means he should be a few centuries older. At this point, he may not be easily recognized; he may look like a street hobo by now, with dirty clothes, wrinkly skin, and a long, shaggy beard. Then again, he may no longer be alive. Everything here is dead, therefore not many life-forms could still be alive, if any. If there are, they’re mainly just scrounging for scraps, and maybe even feeding off of their own kin just to stay alive. I can’t imagine any of that stuff happening to the Doctor. Even if he was still alive—god, I hope he is—I hope he’s still where I left him. Idris said he was alright, so he must still be alive...at least for now; unfortunately, I don’t sense him through our telepathic link. I just hope I’m not too late.

A feeling of anger suddenly washes over me—anger toward Idris. I don’t understand why she had to travel many years into the future rather than a few hours. I mean, there’s no way that whatever danger she was trying to escape stuck around for several centuries straight, right? That would mean not leaving their post ever, not even for food or bathroom breaks. Surely the danger would eventually give up after a while, right? I don’t understand why Idris made this decision and abandoned the Doctor—her pilot, my father—for so long.

What kind of a ship does that to her pilot? I think. Whatever happened to ‘a ship never goes down without her captain?’

This thought suddenly makes me think of Hazel and her speech that ‘if you go down, I go down with you.’ “Oh, Haze…” I sigh shamefully. “If only we went down together…” If only I hadn’t abandoned her like I abandoned everyone else, including the Doctor. If I find him and he’s dead, I’ll never forgive myself.

A sudden crunch from somewhere up ahead interrupts my thoughts, followed by a strange growl. “Doctor?” I call out hesitantly, hoping it’s him; though my senses suddenly tell me it isn’t him. No human—or Time Lord, for that matter—can growl that deeply, so it has to be from an animal. Another loud crunch is heard, and I see movement behind one of the mounds of debris. I squint through the darkness and see a giant doglike creature step out from behind the mound, its glowing eyes burning red like hot coals. The demon-dog bears its fangs hungrily at me, and I have no time to react as it jumps at me without warning.

“NO!” I scream on instinct, shielding myself with my hands, so sure I’m about to die.

Once I do, the unexpected happens—again. When I raise my hand up, a massive burst of gold energy shoots out from it and strikes the mutt in the chest, sending it flying and crashing into the pile of debris it was hiding behind. At the time of the attack, my vision takes on the familiar gold tinge, like I’m seeing the world through a cloud of gold dust—no, regeneration energy. The impact against a large support beam within the pile apparently impales the mutt in the stomach, killing it instantly.

“What?” I exclaim in shock after my vision returns to normal, staring at my glowing hands. “This again?” This very thing happened last time in the alley in London, when I was attacked by the Silence, and apparently it happened again here. At the time the attacks were happening, I was fearing for my life, but I also had absolutely no control of my energy. I mean, I meant to keep the Silence, and this time the mutt, away from me so that they didn’t hurt me, but I didn’t intend to hurt them with a massive burst of Jedi (Time Lord?) Force power. And now this has happened twice! What the freak is happening to me?!

My thoughts are interrupted once again as I see a strange blue glow in the distance, half-buried under another pile of debris further around the bend. “What’s that?” I say to no one in particular as I cautiously approach the glow-y thing. I carefully move the debris and gasp once I discover what the glow-y thing is, or rather who is frozen inside it, lying on the floor, and appearing dead…

The Doctor.

Well, he isn’t ‘dead,’ per se…at least, he doesn’t seem to be upon closer inspection, though he does appear to be in very bad shape. His eyes are wide open and filled with horror, his clothes are caked in some kind of rusty orange and brown substance that I hope to God isn’t blood but might actually be blood, and his face is battered and bruised, like he’d been in a wrestling match and royally lost the fight. There is a small pool of what I know one hundred percent is blood, but I can’t tell if it’s from his nose or mouth, as it’s barely visible directly below the two. My hearts feel like they’re about to drop out of my chest, seeing my father like this.

“Dad!” I scream in horror as I attempt to place a hand on his shoulder, but the ‘glow’ zaps me, preventing me from touching him. I yelp in pain from the burn it left on my hand. Immediately after, I feel the regenerative process begin to manifest in my hand, but I ignore it as I inspect the glow further, trying to figure out a way to get him out of it.

“It looks like a time-bubble of sorts,” I think aloud to myself. “I mean, I think; I’ve never seen a time-bubble before, but this is kinda what it looks like in the movies.” Clearly, he hasn’t aged a day, nor is he currently able to move any part of his body. Time has stopped inside the bubble but not the outside, hence the state of the place…and him. Whatever or whoever did this to him, they obviously did it before they put him in the time-bubble and froze him like this. But why?

“How do I get you out of it?” I continue. “I can’t touch this thing without burning myself. I don’t think anything can break through this thing either.” Luckily the debris didn’t crush him like it normally would’ve. The time-bubble acted as a force field to prevent him from being crushed by the carnage, and from anything else that had happened here, whatever happened. Thank God, or he would’ve died long ago, whenever the roof initially collapsed.

‘Sonic,’ I suddenly hear Idris’s voice again in my head. ‘Use the sonic.’

I frown in response, looking around. “Idris? Is that you? How are you talking to me right now? I’m nowhere near you!” How can I still hear her when I’m on the other side of the building, completely out of sight of her?

‘No matter where or when you go, we’re telepathically linked,’ she explains, ‘just like you are with the Doctor. Now use the sonic screwdriver to disrupt the Chronal Displacement Field. It’ll release him. Just point and think.’

At first, I am confused as to what a Chronal Displacement Field is, but then I realize that she’s referring to the time-bubble (it must be a more scientific and professional term for it, I think). I take a deep, nervous breath as I take my flashlight-looking device out of my pocket. “Okay…” I breathe out nervously as I point the screwdriver at the time-bubble (‘Chronal Displacement Field’ is too big of a mouthful for me). “Please don’t kill him.” I close my eyes and ‘think’ the screwdriver to deactivate the time-bubble and release the Doctor as it whirs loudly. A second later, there is a loud POP, followed by a swift gasp of surprise. I open my eyes again and see the Doctor panting heavily, the time-bubble now gone. “It worked!” I exclaim joyously. “Thank god!”

“Nova!” the Doctor exclaims upon seeing me. “You’re okay!” He reaches up and wraps his arms around me, pulling himself up as he does so, holding me so tightly that I feel like I’m being asphyxiated. I manage to keep myself upright as I wrap my own arms around him, almost supporting his body in my lap. “I thought you were dead,” he whimpers in my shoulder, and I take notice of his weak voice, like he’s in a lot of pain and struggling to breathe; even our telepathic link feels slightly weaker than it was before, at least on his end.  

“Ditto,” I reply meekly, rubbing his back gently up and down, trying to calm him, as his body is shaking like a leaf. He’s clearly in a lot of distress, but from what, I have no idea. Perhaps from whatever destroyed the city, I wonder, or from the physical abuse that was mercilessly inflicted on him. Who would do this to him? And why?

“Bad people,” I suddenly hear him say in my ear.

“What?” I ask, puzzled, as I pull away from him enough where I can see his bruised face—his face that has now started to swell a little since I broke him free of the time-bubble.

“Bad people did this to me,” he explains, wincing in pain as he clutches one side of his chest over one of his hearts. “A ruthless gang of pirates that were after the TARDIS. They snuck a sedative in my ice cream and attempted to steal a TARDIS key; luckily, I gave the only key I had to you. When they found out the Old Girl had left and saw I’d given my key away, they tortured me…beat me half to death. Then they locked me in a time-lock and left me until the Old Girl returned. I thought they’d done the same to you…or worse.”

“No, I was in the TARDIS the entire time,” I shake my head. “When I heard the screams, I was gonna come back, but the TARDIS freaked out and left. The controls were being activated on their own, but I couldn’t stop them.”

“She must’ve set the HADS off with you inside,” he deduces, although he says it like ‘hads,’ which is grammatically incorrect.

“Hads?” I say, frowning in confusion. “What’s that?” Then I suddenly remember Idris saying something that had those exact letters in it, in that exact order. “Wait! Is that the Hostile whatever-whatever System?” I realize that the Doctor had, in fact, said it like an acronym—like ‘TARDIS,’ only it’s ‘HADS,’ which makes much more sense in this case.

“Hostile Action Displacement System,” he confirms. “It’s what activates when a TARDIS’s outer shell is being attacked.”

“She said someone was trying to blow apart the doors to get in,” I confess nervously. “That must’ve been what she was trying to escape. She ended up taking me with her…but she saved me.” This suddenly makes me feel ashamed of being angry with her earlier. Idris didn’t electrocute me on purpose. Well, she did, but she did it to save me. If I’d known, I wouldn’t have fought her.

“Yes,” the Doctor nods gravely. “If she hadn’t—”

“Let’s not think about that,” I say swiftly, shaking my head. In all honesty, I’m not remotely interested in knowing the alternative; what matters is that we’re both alive…for now.

 No, I respond to my previous thought. No ‘for now.’ The Doctor and I are both alive. That’s not going to change for either of us. Not by a long shot.

“Come on,” I say as I tuck myself under the Doctor’s arm, “we need to get you out of here. Can you stand?”

“Not very well,” he admits as he struggles to his feet. “My leg might be broken.” He points to his right leg, which appears to be bent at an awkward angle.

“What about your other leg?” I ask curiously. If at least one of his legs is okay, he shouldn’t have a problem, right?

“It’s fine, but the ankle is sprained,” he says in a painful tone as I help him up the rest of the way. “They had to make sure I couldn’t escape.” Once he’s on his feet—sort of, as he’s actually leaning most of his weight on me—he suddenly covers his mouth with his hand and coughs violently into it, and when he wipes his mouth, I could swear I see a flash of orange/red that had stained his hand. He swiftly wipes his hand on his trousers before I can get a good look at what I believe to be blood; though I hope I’m wrong, as coughing up blood is a very bad sign—a sign of probable death. “I’m alright,” he assures me, though I get the sense that he is lying.

“I’m so sorry,” I say angrily, not toward Idris, but at myself, as well as those who did this to him, my father. “This was my fault! If I hadn’t walked out on you again, like the coward I am…”

“No, Nova, you’re not a coward,” he says, shaking his head, as we begin walking—limping, in the Doctor’s case—back toward the direction of the TARDIS. “This was my fault. I should’ve started off easy for you. Started off in an environment that you’d be comfortable in. Started off somewhere on Earth instead and built up gradually from there.”

As much as I agree with him, I can’t help shaking my head and saying, “No, I get it. You were anxious to show me that there was other life out there besides on Earth. Don’t get me wrong, this place is amazing. Well…was. What happened here? How long were you stuck here?”

“Fifteen centuries,” the Doctor admits with a wince. “Well, fifteen centuries, four years, three months, and two days, to be specific. I’ve been keeping track of the time ever since they trapped me.”

Seriously?! I exclaim in my head. That long?

I then frown in confusion. “Wait! So, you were awake the entire time, even though Time never passed for you inside the bubble?”

“Yes,” he nods gravely. “I was awake for every second of it. Every second of every minute of every day—”

“Yeah, I get it,” I stop him from continuing, feeling more disturbed by the second. “I can’t imagine the things you saw in all that time.” Obviously, the city destroying itself, as well as whoever was keeping him locked in the time-bubble.

“War,” he admits. “Terrible war. The Paroobian War, to be specific. Occurred throughout the entire galaxy and lasted an entirety of fifteen centuries, four years, and two months solid. Began two weeks after you left and ended a month before you returned. And I wasn’t affected by any of it. But everybody else… So many innocents I could’ve saved…”

His statement makes me silent for a minute, making me wonder if he had known what was going to happen around the time of when we first arrived—fifteen centuries ago—but had accidentally forgotten. In any case, time didn’t matter to him so much as the place. He only thought about impressing me with the sites rather than what was to come in the next week; rather, the majestic beauty of the planet before the war destroyed it and everyone (except for the Doctor) on its surface.

It would also explain why Idris didn’t return at any time during the war. Absolutely nowhere was safe for her to land, because everywhere was getting bombed by attackers from above world. Unfortunately, the only safe time to land was after the war was over, fifteen centuries later. 

“I’m sorry,” I say again, sensing his guilt. “You’re safe now. The pirates are gone…right? All of them, they’re gone?”

“Not all of them,” the Doctor shakes his head. “The ones that’d initially trapped me, yes—well, except for the captain and the multi-eyed waitress from Orka’s—but they’ve been recruiting since then.”

“But they’re gone now too, right?” I say with a raised eyebrow. “I mean this place looks completely devoid of life. Well, except for those mutt things. One almost killed me when I came back. I managed to kill it, though. Well, sort of; I didn’t mean to kill it; it was an accident. It was weird how I killed it, though.” I shake my head, not wishing to talk about it for fear of worrying him further. “Whatever, we need to get out of here before its friends come back.”

As if on cue, there is a sudden electrical sound, as well as a brief flash of light, from further around the bend where the TARDIS is parked. We immediately stop in our tracks upon seeing the light.

“What was that?” I ask, gasping in surprise, hoping it’s not what I think it is.

“Friends came back,” the Doctor confirms my fears in a disturbed tone. His tone also sounds weaker, like he’s fighting to stay awake. The pained expression on his face confirms my suspicions, which makes me all the more worried for him. He’s clearly in a lot more pain than he’s letting on, and that’s not good in the slightest; our gradually weakening psychic link tells me as much. Also, I’m ninety-eight percent sure that was blood he coughed in his hand earlier that he clearly tried to hide on his black trousers.

“The mutts?” I ask, puzzled. Since when did animals learn how to teleport?

“No…” he shakes his head, “the pirates. They’ve returned.” He then looks around. “Come on, we need to hide. Over there.” He begins hobbling toward a nearby pile of debris, pulling me with him, wincing as he goes. His first step almost makes him tumble to the floor, but I hold onto him, wrapping my arm around him more tightly.

“I’ve got you.” I assure him as I half-drag, half-carry him behind the pile. Once there, we crouch to our knees—rather, the Doctor slides down the wall as I drop slowly to my knees. “This isn’t a very good spot,” I say, noticing a lot of space around us that isn’t piled high enough by debris. “We’re still in plain sight, they’ll see us.”

“I know,” the Doctor pants heavily, clutching his heart on his right side, “but this is the only spot.” He suddenly doubles over in pain, pulling his hand up to his mouth again and coughing violently into it. This time, he fails to prevent me from seeing the blood—more blood—that trickles down the side of his jaw when he isn’t fast enough to wipe it away.  

“Dad!” I cry in horror upon noticing this.

That’s when I realize that I made a huge mistake when I screamed, because we suddenly hear someone from around the bend—one of the pirates—shout in alarm, “What was that?”

“There’s someone else here!” another screams after the first.

“Find them!” a third pirate orders. “And check the Time Lord! He could’ve escaped!” From this pirate’s tone, he sounds like the leader of the group.

“Fudgeknuckle!” I curse in panic, peeking around the pile of debris to see several shadows walking toward our location. “They’re coming! What do we do?” I turn to the Doctor, and I see that he looks on the verge of passing out, his eyes fluttering closed.

“It’s okay…Nova…” he says as he slowly loses consciousness. “Everything…is going…to…be…” He then slumps in deadweight against me, his head falling limply on my shoulder.

“Dad!” I cry in alarm, this time a little more quietly so as not to alert the pirates coming our way. “Wake up!” I say, desperately shaking his shoulders in an attempt to wake him. “Dad—Doctor, wake up!” I immediately stop as I suddenly see a shadow extend across the floor a few feet from where we’re hiding, coming closer and closer. I hold my unconscious father close, supporting his head on my shoulder and the rest of his body on my hip. I feel his light breath against the side of my neck, and when feeling his pulse, it feels slow and weak; much slower than even a human’s, which, I assume, is dangerous for a Time Lord. Unfortunately, there’s nothing I can do about that right now.

“The Time Lord has escaped!” the pirate that was approaching our direction announces to the rest of the group, having stopped directly across from our hiding spot. If he turns around, we’ll be seen, and who knows what he’d do to us then.

“How?” the voice of the leader pirate demands in an incredulous tone from around the pile. More footsteps approach after he says this.

“I don’t know!” the pirate across from us says, shrugging his shoulders. “Perhaps he had help! No matter, he couldn’t have gone far; not in his condi—” He suddenly pauses, and my fear is confirmed when he turns to face us, seeing me cradling my unconscious father in my arms. He smirks and says, “Well, well, well, look what we have here. Seems he did have help, after all.” He then calls to the other pirates as he steps closer to us, “Captain! It seems the blue box returned with a stowaway still on board.”

Another pirate, who I believe to be the Captain, peeks around the pile at us, and his face instantly mimics his comrade’s. “I see,” he says as he takes out a strange rectangular device and holds it out to me. The device reminds me of one of those devices one would use when scanning one’s DNA. My assumption is correct when his smirk widens into a broad smile which shows rotten yellow teeth.

Moreover, when he comes closer to me, I immediately recognize him as the pig-nosed man that attempted to pull Idris’s doors open twenty minutes ago—or fifteen centuries ago from his point of view. Apparently, that guy was the Captain, and I didn’t even know. Looking back, that would explain the creepy vibe me gave me and continues to give me right now.

“Ah, not just any stowaway,” he sniggers after the DNA scanner had finished, confirming my identity. “Another Time Lord… Or should I say ‘Time Lady.’”

Fudgeknuckle! I curse in my head, thinking that this might well be the end for both of us—the last two Time Lords in the universe at their mercy. We are so dead!

Chapter Text

“More like his daughter,” the pirate that found us says with a perverted smirk. “I’d recognize those old eyes anywhere.” He then proceeds to look me up and down as if undressing me with his eyes, seeing if there’s any physical part of me that might be different from human females, even though there isn’t. I immediately look away from him, feeling immensely uncomfortable.

“Ah, yes, now I see the resemblance,” Captain Pig-Nose says, again mimicking his comrade. “She has his chin as well, and his nose. Good eye.”

I roll my eyes at this. Oh, good, more ‘eye’ puns, I can’t help thinking sarcastically in my head. If I hadn’t already known these creeps were…well, creeps, I would’ve laughed.

Pig-Nose then bends over to me. “You must be Nova,” he says in a tone like he’s speaking to a toddler. “Nova Susan Song, is it? Here for a little outing with your daddy, were you? Well, at least before you abandoned him and left him to die centuries later.” He says that last bit with a snort, like he’d just told the greatest joke in the universe. He then cocks his head to the side, seeing my seemingly dead father in my arms. Not that he is dead, but the Captain must think that way about him, because he says with genuine disappointment, “Hmm… Seems like he might already be dead. Shame. I would’ve liked to have watched the light leave his eyes.”

His statement sends a wave of anger washing over me, and I feel the so-called ‘Jedi/Time Lord Force power’ build up inside me again. However, before it intensifies to the breaking point, I suddenly feel the Doctor stir slightly in my arms, and I can sense our psychic link slowly reestablish itself as he regains consciousness.

Upon seeing this, Captain Pig-Nose smiles like a child being given an unexpected gift. “Oh! Guess he’s not dead, after all. Excellent! That means I do have a chance to watch the light leave his eyes.”

“Don’t you dare touch him!” I growl at him, wrapping my arms tighter around my father. If they want to hurt him (again), they’ll have to go through me first.

“Oh, my dear…” the Captain sniggers at me, “I already have. Several times, while you were gone. If you hadn’t left Daddy’s side, you could’ve stopped me. But you decided to abandon him instead. You abandoned your own father. Not a very good daughter, are you, abandoning your family like that? You should be ashamed of yourself.”

Trust me, I already am, I growl in my head, glaring daggers at him. Not that you need to know that. If only looks could kill, he’d be a dead pig-man, as would everyone else. They’d certainly deserve it after what they did to my father. Oh, how I would love to have laser eyes right now.

“Nova…?” my father whispers in my ear as he slowly comes to.

“Dad—Doctor… I’m here,” I assure him, caressing his cheek gently as he struggles to sit up but fails. “Unfortunately, with company,” I add, glaring at all of the pirates surrounding us. There appears to be seven total, including the multi-eyed waitress from Orka’s, who I didn’t expect at first to be one of them. Even just from her physical appearance, I knew there was something that didn’t smell right with her. She must’ve been the one who spiked the Doctor’s ice cream before she delivered it to him in the shop before I stormed out. If only I’d known…

The Doctor then does something unexpected. He smiles at them, saying, “Ah…good. I wondered when…you’d come back for me.” He still sounds very weak, but that doesn’t seem to stop him from speaking out.

Regardless, I can’t help thinking incredulously, Really? You’re happy that they’re back to have a second go at killing you? Then again, looking back, he wasn’t saying it seriously; he was actually being sarcastic. Of course, no one would be happy to see their torturers return for a second strike.

“Sorry to disappoint,” he continues his sarcastic drawl. “My daughter released me first. Maybe you’ll get your turn next time, eh?”

I had to snort at that last statement, knowing that there won’t be a ‘next time’ once we escape. Admittedly, I find it funny that the Doctor had just regained consciousness after a close brush with death, and he’s still cracking jokes. Most people would think he’s mad, but I think it’s awesome—the ultimate “fuck you.”

“Oh, we’re not disappointed,” another pirate says with the shake of the head. “In fact, we’re delighted. It’s just one extra Time Lord to eliminate.”

“Seriously?!” I can’t help exclaiming incredulously with a raised eyebrow. I’ve never even met these people, and they automatically decide to kill me anyway? What freakish world is this?

“Of course,” the Captain says with a shrug, like that explains everything. “It’s been our life’s mission to rid the universe of the Time Lord plague, then steal their technology for ourselves. Unfortunately, there’s just you two left, so whatever tech you have with you will have to do.”

“I always wanted a time-machine of my own,” the pirate that spoke up about wanting to kill me as well speaks up again. “So many enemies I could eliminate before they even make their mark…” Then, without warning, he points his gun at us, releasing the safety, and growls, “Starting with you, Doctor!” He prepares to pull the trigger.

“NO!” I scream on instinct, raising my hand up as a shield to protect us from the shot. However, instead of a shield, a bright ball of energy shoots out of my hand and blasts the gun out of the pirate’s grip, blasting it to pieces on the floor. All of the other pirates, including the Doctor, gasp in horror. I stare, in my own horror, at my glowing hand, in total disbelief at what I had done. That’s the third time now! Why does this keep happening?!

“Nova!” the Doctor gasps in shock, also staring at my glowing hand. “What have you done?”

“I-I-I don’t know,” I stammer, completely and utterly speechless. “I-I-It just sort of happened! I-I wasn’t…I didn’t mean—”

“Impressive,” the Captain smirks at me. Several other pirates smirk as well; however, Multi-Eyes’s smirk is strange, like she’d expected me to do that, though why, I don’t know.

“I-I swear I don’t know how I did that!” I say, feeling the need to confess for some unknown reason. “I didn’t even know I could do that! That wasn’t something I could do before…whatever that was!” That’s actually a lie. I don’t want anyone—certainly not the Doctor—knowing that this wasn’t the first time I’d done something like this. It makes me wonder if this is some kind of newfound Time Lord power, but it isn’t a normal one; from my studies on my father, he has no record of ever doing anything like this at any point in time. Knowing this makes me think that, in my case, this was a result of the Silence’s so-called ‘experiments’ on me from when I was a baby. They sought to turn me into a physical weapon; was this the result they were hoping for?

“It seems like your little Time Tot has more surprises literally up her sleeve than meets the eye,” the Captain says, smirking at the Doctor. “She could be quite useful to us.”

“What happened to ‘ridding the universe of the Time Lord plague?’” the pirate that almost killed us says disapprovingly. “We have our opportunity right here in front of us—the last two Time Lords in existence! We should kill them both right now!” He then brings out another gun and attempts to shoot us again, and my body, as well as the Doctor’s, stiffens in fear.

“Frowler, did you not see what the girl just did?” Multi-Eyes says, speaking for the first time, her tone of voice completely unlike the one she used in the ice cream shop. “You foolishly targeted them, and she shot your own gun out of your hand! You target them again, and she could do way worse in a heartbeat…times two in her case. She clearly has extraordinary power, even more so than any other Time Lord, including her own father. She should be left alive.”

I raise my eyebrows at this. Wow! She actually wants to save us?

Then again, if she actually wanted to save us, she wouldn’t have helped the pirates by contaminating the Doctor’s ice cream and participating in the beatings; I’m sure she snuck in a few blows herself.

“Why?” the other pirate, Frowler, frowns. “So, she can blow us all to smithereens?”

“No, so she could join us,” Multi-Eyes confirms. “We can use her newfound power to our advantage. A power like that, she could wipe out entire armies. Forget the time-machine; we could have the most powerful Time Lord on our side. Nothing will stand in her way.”

Okay, now I’m seriously confused. Despite having helped the pirates brutally beat my father to death, she’s now defending us and convincing the other pirates not to continue with the brutalities.  

“Wow!” I say with a frown, glancing between the pirates and the Doctor. “Thanks…I think.” I then murmur to my father as an argument ensues between the pirates, “Seriously, what the freak is happening right now?”

“I don’t know,” he says in a nervous tone as he struggles to sit up, having regained some of his physical strength, “but this may not be something to be thankful for.”

“Why?” I ask, puzzled. “They seem to be changing their minds about killing us, after what I did…whatever I did. Well, Multi-Eyes over there, anyway,” I say, nodding to her.

That’s when I get a strange vibe, like her motives are familiar. She wants me to join their—rather, her own—group and use my newfound power as a weapon against their—her—enemies. This sounds much like the motives of another twisted group I know.

“Although, I can’t help but notice that she seems to have similar plans with us as the Silence,” I say, confessing my theory. “Bit suspicious, don’t you think?”

“Yes,” he says, nodding with concern. “I’m beginning to have that same vibe, too.”

Once he finishes speaking, without warning, he doubles over in pain, clutching one side of his chest, and coughs into his hand again. When the ordeal is over, he pulls his hand away from his mouth, only this time it’s a much bigger blood pool than last time, which fills the space of his entire palm. The pirates immediately cease their dispute, finding the Doctor’s coughing fit to be much more entertaining.

“Oh my god!” I cry in panic. “Dad!” I wrap my arms around him to steady his shaking body.

“It’s fine…” he says, shaking his head, like it’s not a big deal at all to cough up a liter of blood from his throat. “I’m fine.” Okay, so he didn’t really cough up that much blood, but whatever the amount, it was still too much for one person to be coughing up, no matter what species. Whatever is happening to him, it’s getting worse by the minute. Whatever it is, it’s slowly killing him from the inside out. What the hell did they put in his ice cream?

“No, you’re not!” I say insistently. Of course, he’s not fine! He’s dying, and he really shouldn’t be, especially as a Time Lord!

The big question is: why isn’t he regenerating right now? Why is his body failing him when it should be healing? If it was that poison he told me about that disabled regeneration…

“Indeed, he isn’t,” Captain Pig-Nose says with a smirk. “They say a Time Lord typically with two hearts can survive up to half an hour with only one heart still beating. After that, well…they die. Permanently, in your case, seeing as you have no more regenerations left to give. Isn’t that right, Doctor?”

Fudgeknuckle, I curse in my head. I forgot… He’s out of regenerations!

Regardless of the situation, I still feel the need to ask, turning to my dying father, “What’s he talking about? What did he do to you?”

“Broken…rib…punctured…heart…” he struggles to say breathlessly. His voice sounds like a gargle, like he’s drowning, except it’s actually blood he’s choking on instead of water.

“Yes,” the Captain says with a smile, but it’s not a sympathetic one. “Sadly, one of his hearts was severely punctured by a broken rib. He just has the one other heart working now. But soon that heart will fail, and seeing as he can no longer regenerate…” He then shrugs his shoulders in a ‘oh well, not my problem’ manner.

“I guess it’s ‘lights out’ for him,” the pirate named Frowler sniggers, like this is all a big joke to him. “Permanently. Bye-bye, Time Lord! Bye-bye forever!”

“You beat him to death just for a TARDIS key?” I growl, my anger seething inside me again at his callous words. At least they didn’t poison him; though I don’t know what would be a worse death: poison or bludgeoning. In any case, these sick pirates deserve a much worse fate than those two listed.

“Not just that,” the Captain shakes his head. “We knew a TARDIS never leaves her Time Lord behind for good; she has to come back for him at some point. If it’s true TARDISes are psychically linked to their Time Lord pilots, surely, she’d feel his pain and come to his rescue.”

These words suddenly make me remember the moment when Idris had electrocuted me to stop me from fighting her for the controls, and I felt a sort of pain from something or someone, but it was neither a physical nor mental pain. At the time, I didn’t know the origins of the painful feeling, but now I know. It was coming through the Doctor’s and my psychic link, specifically from the Doctor’s end. When I ‘felt’ the pain from him, it must’ve happened during the time when the pirates were brutally attacking him, but they were doing it not just because he didn’t have a TARDIS key but also so the TARDIS herself could end up feeling his pain through the psychic link and come to his rescue. When I no longer felt the pain, that must’ve been the moment when they put him in the time-lock, and they kept him like that until Idris and I had returned. The entire time, the Doctor had been dying since the beginning, but his death had literally been put on pause when they put him in the time-lock; and ever since I released him, he’d started dying again, and now there’s no way to reverse that, especially now that he’s out of regenerations.

“Unfortunately for him,” the Captain continues, “she decided to come back fifteen centuries late, long after the damage had already been done. In all that time, she could’ve saved him; but instead, she left him for dead, taking his precious little Time Tot with her.”

His words make me want to hate Idris again for leaving her own pilot behind, but I know it wasn’t her fault. Again, because of the centuries-long war, there was nowhere safe to land, and if she had landed, she would’ve been blown up with me inside; therefore, the only way to return was to wait out the war until it was over.

After he finishes speaking, the Captain says, smirking at me again, “And now that you’re back, I believe you have something of ours.”

Of course, he knows the Doctor gave me his only key, which I actually still have in my pocket, but I decide to see if I can trick the pirates into believing different. “Who says I have what you want?” I bluff with a frown. “Maybe I left it in the TARDIS. Oops, guess that means no one gets in, not even us. Too bad, so sad. Tough luck, Buttercup.” I figure Idris has the power to let anyone in whenever she chooses, key or no key; the key itself could just be a decoy, something that’s just for show.

Unfortunately, the Captain doesn’t fall for the bluff because he says, “Search her!” and two other pirates, one being Frowler, approach me with their arms raised in preparation to snatch me.

“What?” I say, genuinely shocked. “No, you can’t do that!” But they don’t listen. They hoist me up by the arms, pulling me aggressively away from my father. “Get off me, perverts!” I scream, struggling against their strong hold. “It’s rude to search through a girl’s pockets!” They attempt to shove their hands into my jeans and jacket pockets.

“I think you’ll find that we’re not ones to ask nicely,” the Captain says in a careless tone.

“Don’t touch her!” the Doctor yells as he attempts to stand up on his own, despite the pain. “Leave her—!” He is suddenly interrupted as another pirate kicks him hard in the stomach, forcing him to double over in a coughing fit, spitting blood everywhere. When the kick was done, I could swear I heard a cracking sound from more of his ribs breaking from the blow.

“Dad!” I cry in alarm, and that’s when my anger completely takes over my body, and I become something else entirely. In my frenzy, I abruptly lift my legs up and kick out toward the pirates as hard and far as I can, hitting them square in the groin. They scream in pain and double over as they release me, and I take that opportunity to take them down in a flash, throwing each of them into the piles of debris, one, Frowler, actually getting stabbed in the chest from a piece of sharp metal sticking out of the pile that kills him instantly—of course that was actually an accident on my part. The other pirate gets thrown into another pirate, knocking them both to the floor hard. Some other pirates approach me, and I prepare to take them down when I suddenly feel a sense of danger take me over, and I immediately duck as a large ball of energy flies directly over my head and explodes against the wall behind me. This seems to stop Time, as every single person present freezes on the spot in shock.

“Enough!” the Captain yells before he blows the smoke from the tip of his gun, indicating that the shot had come from him. “Seize her!” Two surviving pirates grab me by the arms and search through my pockets again, but this time, I struggle to fight them off, as they practically pin my feet to the floor.

“Let me go!” I spit at them. “You’ll regret this! I’ll kill you like I killed the other guy!” Of course, I just said that to try to scare them, but they don’t seem to be fazed; in fact, they don’t seem to feel any kind of remorse for their friend Frowler, if ‘friend’ is the right word.

“Found it, sir!” one of the pirates says, pulling out the TARDIS key from one of my pockets.

Upon noticing this, I laugh in mock-shamefulness, “Uh, did I say I left it in the TARDIS? I totally forgot I still had it.”

“We learned to see past bluffs long ago, sweetheart,” the Captain says with the shake of the head as he drags his finger across my chin, and I fight back the urge to bite him.

“Found this as well,” the other pirate says, pulling out my sonic screwdriver and handing it to the Captain. “And…this?” he says uncertainly, pulling out my phone from the same pocket.

“Hey!” I scream, struggling to grab it out of his hand. “That’s my phone! Give it back!” I’m afraid to have it destroyed in any way, knowing that all ties with my guardians and Hazel—particularly my photos and videos of them—are on the phone. If the pirates destroy it, everything that connects me with them will be lost forever.

“Ah, another sonic… ‘screwdriver,’ was it?” the Captain says, smiling tauntingly at the Doctor, who appears to be barely moving on the floor, the kick to his stomach having severely weakened him. “Sharing your old toys with your daughter, are you? Introducing her to ‘the family business?’”

Hearing these words instinctively makes me frown, wondering how in the world he knew those exact words.

“That’s right, sweet-cheeks,” he says, turning to me. “I heard you and your daddy talking when you first arrived, fifteen centuries ago. He wants to train you up to be just like him. A junior ‘Doctor.’” He then glances down at the Doctor’s body, smirking, “Too bad he won’t live long enough to see that dream fulfilled. Though I suppose we can keep him alive a little while longer to see you join us. Like I said before, you could be quite useful to us.” As he says that last statement, he reaches out to me again, this time to stroke my cheek.

“Maybe I will…” I say, pulling aggressively away, “but I won’t. Like I told another twisted cult recently, I don’t think ‘murderous psychopath’ would look good on a résumé. I’ll die before that happens.” They can torture me and kill me all they like, but they’ll never make me into one of them.

“That can be arranged,” the Captain says, genuinely disappointed. “I’d hate to destroy that pretty face of yours.” His words put a confused frown on my face. Why would he be disappointed to see me—a Time Lord, a species that which he most deeply hates—killed?

He must’ve suddenly been having the same thought, because the Captain glances to the Doctor in a way like he has come up with a better plan. “Hmm…” he says, watching the Doctor writhe on the floor in pain, his life-force gradually fading from his eyes, just like how he wanted to see him during his last minutes, “perhaps you’ll have a change of heart while under pressure. Or is it a change of hearts? No matter.” He suddenly snaps his fingers, signaling to another pirate. The pirate cocks his gun, removing the safety, approaches the Doctor, and aims the gun at the back of his head, the barrel end trained right on his skull.

“No!” I say in fright as I attempt to step forward, but the other pirates restrain me hard. “Don’t!”

“I’ll give you one more chance,” the Captain says, making a deal with me. “You join us peacefully, we’ll let you accompany your father as he lives out the rest of his minutes unharmed…well, no more so than we’ve already inflicted on him. You refuse, we blow his brains out right here whilst you watch.”

I can’t believe this! Really? I scream in my head. Those are the choices? Clearly the pirates aren’t going to give the Doctor a chance to survive, given his current condition. I can feel the strength of our psychic link continue to deplete as he slowly succumbs to his injuries. I’m well aware that a few minutes isn’t long, but it is far better than none at all; therefore, I will do whatever I can to keep him alive for as long as it takes.

"So,” the Captain continues after a minute, “what’s it gonna be, princess?”

As much as I want to beat the shit out of him, like he did to my father, there’s unfortunately nothing I can do right now. Even if I attempt to go after him, the pirate will shoot, and my father will be an instant goner. The only thing I can do is stall for time, and maybe then he’ll have a higher chance to survive, at least for his last remaining minutes.

“It doesn’t matter,” I growl under my breath.

“What was that?” the Captain says in an offended tone, like I’d just dropped the F-bomb on him; in fact, I wouldn’t mind dropping a real bomb on this sick son of a bitch.

“I said it doesn’t matter!” I yell angrily at him. “No matter what I choose, you’re just gonna kill him and take me with you anyway. Only a Time Lord can pilot a TARDIS; that’s why you need me, right? You won’t stand a chance even getting inside a TARDIS without a Time Lord, much less piloting one. Like car keys unlocking cars, Time Lords are the keys that unlock a TARDIS!” Of course, I could be wrong about everything I said, but I feel like this could be a good enough bluff that the pirates might actually believe to keep the Doctor and I both alive. I mean, it sounds like it could actually make sense. I just wish I could ask Idris.

‘Fortunately for you, my dear, you are absolutely right,’ I hear Idris’s voice in my head, making me remember that she can hear me, no matter where, when, or how far I go. ‘They are called Isomorphic Controls, meaning only a Time Lord psychically linked to me can pilot me. For anyone else who is not linked to me, the controls will be useless.’

‘Thank god,’ I say, relieved, believing that I had just made all that up.

Luckily, the Captain seems to actually take the bluff, because he sneers at me and says, “Clever girl. You really are your father’s daughter.” He then glances back to the Doctor, but this time his sneer changes to a twisted smirk, making me think that my bluff didn’t actually work. My fear is confirmed when he says, “Unfortunately, your choice of words is not so clever. Like you said, we only need a Time Lord to unlock and pilot the TARDIS, and seeing as your father is no longer fit to pilot it, but you are, we have no further use for him. Say goodbye to your precious princess, Doctor!” He then snaps his fingers, signaling for the pirate to pull the trigger.

“NO!” I scream as a shot is fired.

Chapter Text

I expect to see my father’s head explode to bits all over the floor, but fortunately, it’s not his head that explodes. Instead, the pirate that has him at gunpoint collapses, his brains spilling everywhere. In fact, every pirate is shot on sight, including Captain Pig-Nose. In the chaos, I run to the Doctor and cradle him close to me, shielding him from the gun blasts and falling bodies around us. I am able to retrieve my phone, sonic screwdriver, and TARDIS key from the carnage as well, though the key was covered in blood that took on a blue-green tinge when I discovered it (Ugh, gross!). The chaos seems to last forever until it finally dies down, and there is one remaining pirate standing…

Multi-Eyes from Orka’s. 

“W-what did you just do?” I stare at her in complete and utter shock. Is it just me, or did we just witness a—?

“Mutiny…” the Doctor confirms my theory weakly, fighting himself to stay upright. I gather him in my arms, cradling his head in my lap, as he breathes out heavily, his skin pale and clammy and jaw stained down to his collar with orange.

“Yeah, I saw that…” I say in an obvious tone, “but…why?”

“Is it not obvious?” Multi-Eyes says with a shrug, still training her gun at us. “To save both of your necks…” Her statement sends a wave of relief washing over me, but when I see a sinister smirk appear on her face a second later, my relief is immediately replaced with nervousness as she continues, “So that my madam can watch you die with her own eyes. Properly.”

“What?” I frown in total disbelief, looking down at the Doctor. “What’s she talking about? What ‘madam?’”

“Kovarian…” he confirms, glaring spitefully at the pirate, but he also said the name like it physically tasted bad on his tongue, like it’s a name of someone evil.

“Who?” I ask, puzzled, but then I remember. “Wait… River mentioned that name. She said Kovarian was her former guardian and arranged her training to kill you.” She also hinted that this ‘Kovarian’ was affiliated with the Silence, maybe even being the Silence’s leader. I glance back to Multi-Eyes, seeing her nod slowly to show that our statements are correct. I frown at her, saying, “If Kovarian is your ‘madam,’ then that means…”

“She’s one of them…” my father answers along with my thoughts. “Vokanari…”

“Ugh!” I say, feeling more disgusted toward Multi-Eyes now that I know the truth. “I knew there was something smelly about you! You and your fifty-thousand stink-eyes! And here I was going to give you props for saving us, but now I understand why. You’re one of them! I knew it!”

“I kept my silence well—pun intended,” she says, that twisted smirk never faltering from her face. “Captain Crackpot and his cronies hadn’t a clue that I was in fact working for another gang all along. I only just joined them when I found out they were after the TARDIS, but I was never after the TARDIS. I was always after you, Doctor, and your darling daughter here. You see, Kovarian has other plans for you two.”

“We know,” I spit at her. “You want to capture us so you can train me to kill my own father, while your twisted band of psychopaths watches from the sidelines. I’ve heard this, like, a gazillion times. Tell me something I don’t already know.”

When she revealed herself to be a Silence/Vokanari member, I wasn’t surprised at all what her true motives were. They’re all the same! They don’t care about ruling the universe or altering history; they just want to ‘rid the universe of the Time Lord plague,’ like the Captain said, and apparently, they’re not the only ones. It seems like the entire universe wants us gone, particularly my father, but why, I don’t know. From my research, he has done much good for the universe, saving lives and righting wrongs, and this is how it repays him?! Why? Just why?

“Did you know that your folks are being held in our most secure base?” Multi-Eyes says with a raised eyebrow. “Well, your former folks, seeing as they were never your real folks. I was told about them the moment I ‘joined’ this lot. You really broke their hearts, same for your annoying little sister…Hannah, I believe her name is.”

It’s Hazel, I think in my head, and she’s not my sister. Though we’re so close that we could practically be sisters, despite being two different species.

“Where are they?” I demand in a growl, refraining from correcting my best friend’s name. “What did you do to them?”

“I’ll take you to them myself,” she says, glancing toward the direction of the TARDIS. “Better yet, you can take yourself to them. Don’t you want to see your family again, Nova? Don’t you want to save them?”

As much as I do want to see my family again, a part of me admittedly wants to believe her. If what she’s saying is actually true, this might be my only opportunity to save them.

“You pilot us to our base in your TARDIS,” she continues, “and you join us, we’ll let your family go in peace and unharmed.”

This may be true for my guardians, but not my real family. “But not the Doctor!” I snap at her. “You freaks want him dead, and you want me to do it! But that’s never gonna happen!” I then pause, suddenly realizing something. Something terrible. “In fact…I already have.”

“You what?” she asks, puzzled, with a raised ‘eye’-brow (ugh, stop it, Nova; now you’re just embarrassing yourself with these ridiculous puns!).

“I already killed him for you…” I say shamefully. “Well, not me personally, but I helped. Fifteen centuries ago, I left him, and that allowed your pirate gang to step in and do the rest. Of course, you know that; you were there; you probably snuck in a few beatings yourself. So…wish granted, I guess. You killed the Doctor with my help. You can tell your mistress the good news. Too bad she didn’t get to see it with her own eyes.” I then close my eyes and sigh in my head, 'I’m so sorry, Doctor.'

“Nova…” he pants, struggling to speak. “No…” He says it like it’s not true, but he has no idea how much I truly hurt him. I might as well have been one with the pirates for what I did.

“On the contrary,” Multi-Eyes says, disagreeing with my last statement, “it’s not too late for that…yet. In which case, there’s still time to hand you both over to Madame Kovarian to watch your father die like he should have at the lake long ago. Of course, we’re not going to force you to kill him again; at least, I’m not. Though Kovarian would probably force you to do it anyway.” She then steps forward and approaches us, cocking her gun. “On your feet, Time Wimps!”

“No!” I shout, pushing her gun toward the floor. “I told you I was never going to do that! You want to see him killed, find someone else! Rather, do it yourself! Why not? You had every opportunity over the last millennium and a half!” If she and the rest of the Silence were so desperate to see my father killed, why didn’t she herself secretly release him from the time-lock and deliver him long ago? Why did they bother wasting all that time getting someone else to do their dirty work? 'If you want something done, do it yourself,' right? Why River? Why me?

“Foolish girl!” she growls as she squeezes my arm hard, making me wince in pain. “Weren’t you paying attention? I needed time-travel! That’s the only way to return to my madam! Knowing that box wasn’t going to return if I’d gone ahead and killed him, I had to wait out the centuries with everyone else! Speaking of which, I hear her calling to you now. On your feet!”

Even though I never heard Idris say anything, Multi-Eyes forcefully hoists me up anyway, pulling me up by the arm. When she does the same with the Doctor, he almost collapses back to the floor from the pain of his broken body, but I’m able to hold him up by tucking myself under his arm again. Admittedly, his body weight is a bit much for me to carry alone, but I still manage it.

“Let’s see if your little ‘Time Lords are keys to unlock a TARDIS’ theory is true,” Multi-Eyes says, pointing her gun at us again, this time shoving it aggressively in my back. “Walk!” I wince again but do as she says; not that we have a choice.

As we walk back to the TARDIS with our unwanted guest in tow, I can feel the Doctor’s weight gradually become heavier against me with every step; his body also feels hot, like he’s suffering from a high fever. In this condition, he is in no fit state to walk, but he doesn’t have a choice; it’s either this or instant death by psycho, multi-eyed pirate. Not that he has much time left to live anyway, because I can also feel our psychic link gradually weaken as well; in fact, it’s significantly weaker than it was before.

‘It’s okay, Doctor,’ I murmur to him in my head, ‘I’ve got you. You’re going to be okay. I won’t let them hurt you again. I’ll send that bitch to Hell where she belongs before we go anywhere else.’ He doesn’t respond, and I think it’s because he’s either too weak or too angry with me to say anything because I’d betrayed him, which makes me all the more shameful.

Instead, I whisper to the one other ‘person’ I can trust, ‘Idris, if you can hear me, please help us.’

‘I hear you, child,’ she responds, and a wash of relief floods through me. ‘But my thief… He’s…fading.’

‘I know,’ I say, feeling like I’ve just been stabbed in both hearts with guilt again. ‘He’s dying, and it’s my fault. But listen… We’re being held at gunpoint by a Silence member. We’re on our way back to you, but we can’t let her in. She’s going to force me to fly us to her base. We can’t do that. If I fight back or do anything else, she’ll kill Dad. Please, help us. I don’t know what else to do.’ My words instantly make my eyes flood with tears, but I refuse to let them fall.

‘Don’t fret, my child,’ she assures me, and I am thankful that she doesn’t think I’m a total screw-up. ‘I have a plan. Let her in.’

“Seriously?!” I can’t help exclaiming out loud. I instantly realize my mistake, and I swiftly cover my mouth, cursing in my head.

Luckily, instead of shooting, Multi-Eyes barks loudly, “Quiet, or you’ll share the same fate as those pirate peacocks we left behind!”

“Um…don’t you need us alive to fly the TARDIS?” I ask hesitantly. That’s the only way to get what she wants…right?

“I only need one of you alive to fly the TARDIS,” she points out. “Your father is as good as dead already. Madame Kovarian only wants his body—the real one—dead or alive. Preferably she wants him alive so she can watch him die herself, but at this point it hardly matters. Suppose I could go ahead and kill him right now to end his suffering.” She then raises her gun again in preparation to actually shoot this time.

“NO!” I cry before she can actually take the shot. “You kill him, I’m not taking you anywhere! You kill him, you’ll have to kill me too! Kovarian wants only me alive, right? You want me, you’re taking him too—alive! I’m not going anywhere without him!” After my betrayal, it’s the least I can do to make it up to him…if he’ll actually accept my forgiveness, that is; not that he has much longer to live to make that decision, needless to say.

Multi-Eyes takes a minute to contemplate my statement before she sneers, “Wise words won’t always save your neck, princess. Surely your father taught you that. Now move!” She shoves the barrel end of her gun in my back again, harder this time, almost knocking me over; if I had, I doubt my father would’ve survived the fall, had he fallen with me.

We continue walking in silence. Fortunately, I can still talk telepathically. ‘Idris,’ I whisper as her majestic bluey blueness (‘Bluey blue-ness?’ What are you, three?) begins to come into view, ‘I sure hope that whatever you have planned, it works. I’m not sure how much longer I can keep Multi-Eyes from killing us. Dad hasn’t got much time. The link is breaking. I can feel it.’ It’s just barely there now, like it’s almost nonexistent. I am also starting to have a hard time keeping my father standing, as he’s leaning almost all of his weight against me, and it almost feels like I’m carrying a dead man.

‘As do I,’ Idris admits in a grim tone. ‘Get him inside quickly. And don’t worry, my plan will work. But I will need your help.’

‘Fine,’ I shake my head out of desperation, ‘as long as it saves Dad’s life. I’m not going to let him die, because I love him.’ I then pause, thinking incredulously to myself, Wow, did I really just say that? I’m not even sure if I truly meant it or not, but a small part of me believes I did mean it.

“Open it!” Multi-Eyes orders after we approach Idris’s doors, pushing me roughly toward them.

Admittedly, I am absolutely terrified now that we’re back. Luckily, I was able to retrieve our key back there, but if I attempt to use the key and get my father and I inside before Multi-Eyes, she’ll kill us before I even have a chance to ditch her. At this point, our chances of surviving this together are slim to none.

On the other hand, if I make her believe that the key is still back there with her former comrades’ bodies (if they were really her comrades), and she feels the need to go back and retrieve it, my father and I may have a chance, after all. No harm in trying, I think to myself. I hope.

“Sorry,” I bluff with a sneer, turning to her, “I think I left my key back there. You’ll have to go back and get it for us. I can’t carry him all the way back with you. He won’t make it.” If she doesn’t take the bluff, we’re screwed.

Unfortunately, she doesn’t seem to be easily as fooled as everyone else was. “I know what you’re trying to do, little Einstein,” she sneers back at me, “and it won’t work. That’s right, I’m familiar with Earth history too. They say the Doctor can open the TARDIS doors with just the snap of his fingers. So how about it, Doc? Care to show off some of your timeless magic? Or is he too far gone to have any kind of clue?”

My father doesn’t acknowledge her in any way, not even with a simple head-lift. Good riddance, I think with a snort. Of course, it could just be from weakness, but I can imagine he pays her no mind out of defiance, which I would greatly admire him for even if he wasn’t far gone.

“Why would you care about his health?” I growl in my own defiance. “You did this to him!”

“With your help, like you said yourself,” she snaps back at me. “I regret to say, you’re not as bright as I thought you’d be. I thought you’d be smart like your father. Clearly, they didn’t teach you well enough in school.”

“I’m smart enough to know that it’s not wise to let a psychopath into one’s home,” I snap back at her, “much less become one. You’ll never make me into one of you, no matter what you do to me!” Even if they were to force me to burn through all of my regenerations one-by-one, I wouldn’t care even then. If I reach the end of my cycle and die, then so be it. Dying as myself is far better than dying as a killer, and I am no killer, nor will I ever be in the future either.

Then again, maybe I did end up killing the mutt and that ‘Frowler’ guy with my energy, but those were accidents. I didn’t exactly have control of my energy back then…at least, I think I didn’t.

Multi-Eyes then sniggers at me with a smirk. “You sure about that, sweet cheeks? Because I would hate for something awful to happen to your family. You wouldn’t want them to get hurt, would you? Besides the Doctor, of course. See, if you don’t do as we say, they may have to pay the price. You wouldn’t want that, would you?”

This statement suddenly makes me think of my dream last night, when I saw my father-guardian electrocuted in that dark place…somewhere in their base. I don’t even know if he’s still alive, or if that was even real. If it was, I could’ve seen my father-guardian killed, for all I know; therefore, he could be dead, and my mother-guardian and Hazel may end up suffering the same fate. And then there’s my bio-father with me right now, beaten, broken, and dying because of me.

‘Nova, it’s alright,’ Idris says, sensing my anger and nervousness. ‘Let her in.’

As much as I don’t want to, I don’t have a choice. If I don’t do as this twisted psychopath says, I may end up losing everyone, including the Doctor and River. God, I hope she’s okay too, I prey, thinking of my bio-mother, wherever she is in Space-Time.

“I look forward to seeing you rot in Hell when this is over,” I growl at the pirate as I snap my fingers instead of use the key, much like I did when I approached the TARDIS for the first time. The doors swing open automatically.

“Humph…” she snorts at me, “clearly he’s passed on some of his tricks to you.” That’s actually not true; Idris just opened her own doors, but I don’t tell her that. Not that she would’ve paid me any attention, because she stares in awe at Idris’s impossible interior; not so impossible to me, however, now that I’ve grown used to her larger interior. “Wow!” she exclaims as we all enter the Control Room. “It’s just as magnificent as I imagined.”

I can’t help growling in disgust. “Yeah, yeah, it’s bigger on the inside, blah, blah, blah,” I say with a sigh, not having a care in the universe what she thinks. “Whatever you’re planning to do with us, do it now.” I take my weak father to the cushioned seat by the console and allow him to slump bonelessly onto it. He coughs in response, and more blood spills from his mouth, staining his jaw, collar, and bow tie. “Aw, Dad…” I mutter as I place my hand over his forehead, and I gasp as I feel the heat radiating off of his perspiring skin. “You’re burning up. I’m so sorry.” Something in my mind tells me that he shouldn’t have a fever this high; it feels like 105 degrees, which is dangerously high for a human. I don’t know the fever limit for a Time Lord—I doubt Time Lords get fevers; in fact, I doubt they even get sick—but the Doctor is well past it, and that’s not good at all.

“Nova…” he mutters softly as he reaches up to take my hand in his own. He attempts to say more, but he’s unable to produce any other words besides my name, which brings more tears to my eyes; he doesn’t even have the strength to speak telepathically to me either.

“Stay with me,” I say calmly as I squeeze his bloody hand. “You’ll be okay soon.”

“Nova…” he says again. “Don’t…” He says that last bit like he knows what I’m about to do—go to the Silence base to be handed over to our worst enemy, Madame Kovarian, so she can watch me kill him.

“I’ll be alright,” I assure him. I then continue telepathically to him, ‘We’ll be alright. Idris has a plan. Don’t worry, that bitch will get what she deserves for hurting you.’ I glance spitefully to Multi-Eyes as I say this. ‘This’ll be the last time she ever does. I promise. Trust Idris. Trust us.’ A small part of me thinks it’s insane to trust a time-machine, of all things, but Idris is no ordinary time-machine. She’s a sentient being, therefore, she is alive. She has a real soul; I know, because I can feel it burning inside her through our link. Her soul is strong, and I trust her with it; therefore, I am putting my life, as well as my father’s, in her hands…well, figurative hands.

“Don’t think I’m going to fall for any more of your clever tricks, girl,” Multi-Eyes says as she points her gun at the Doctor. “If I see one false move, your father will meet his end much sooner, no matter what Madame Kovarian prefers. Am I clear?”

“Crystal,” I say, intensifying my glare, like I’ll vaporize her with it; again, if only looks could kill. “Just tell me where and when I need to go.”

She then lists out a large series of numbers and letters, which is total gibberish to me. Hopefully, Idris can make sense of it. ‘Okay, did you get all of that,’ I ask her, ‘whatever all of that was? I only got about half of that, maybe less.’

‘Affirmative,’ Idris says. ‘Those were space-time coordinates. All recorded in my database.’

‘Okay, good.’ I then pause. ‘Wait, we’re not actually going there, are we? I mean, we obviously can’t. But my family might actually be there…’ There is only one way to find out, but I don’t think I’m quite ready to face them. My mother might, if she was here, but my father certainly isn’t.

‘No,’ she assures me, which gives me some relief. ‘We are not taking you there. Not yet. I have a better plan.’

‘We need to make it look like we’re actually going there,’ I point out, sneaking a sideways glance to my dying father, who looks to be barely breathing at this point. ‘One false move, and—’

“What’s taking so long?” Multi-Eyes demands impatiently. “Need I remind you of your father’s fate if you don’t do as I say?” As if on cue, he coughs up more blood in response as if to remind me, but to him it was, of course, unintentional.  

“No!” I say swiftly. “I was just…remembering what levers to use.” That’s the only excuse I can come up with, but luckily, she buys it. I then say in my head to Idris, ‘Okay, Idris, some help would be nice right now. I really don’t want to tell her I was actually never taught how to pilot you.’

‘Don’t fret, Nova,’ she says calmly. ‘I’ll talk you through what you need to do, but you must do everything exactly as I tell you. Do you understand?’ She says all of this with great seriousness, like if I mess up even a little bit, my father is a goner. No pressure or anything.

‘Yes,’ I nod as I glance toward him again. ‘I understand.’

He glances back to me, his hazy eyes pleading and desperate. “Nova… Please… No…” he breathes out heavily.

‘I’m sorry,’ I say tearfully. ‘I have to.’ I squeeze my eyes tightly closed as more tears fill my eyes, one sneaking past my eyelashes against my consent.

‘Trust me,’ Idris assures me, like a mother consoling a child. ‘Everything is going to be okay.’

I nod, opening my eyes again. “Okay…” I say, sighing deeply. “Go.”

I spend a few minutes prepping Idris to fly, with her instructing me every step of the way. The more I work, the more anxious I feel, as this is literally a matter of life and death…well, my father’s life and death. Also, the more I work, the more I sense my father through our psychic link pleading with me to stop, but I can’t. One false move…

‘It doesn’t matter,’ he says in my head, having read my personal thoughts. ‘My life is not remotely as important as yours is. You do this, you will die as well, and I’m not allowing that to happen to my own daughter…my Nova. You hear me? Not now, not ever! Please…stop!’ Our psychic link fades in that moment as he loses consciousness again, having used up his remaining strength, but it doesn’t break. I momentarily stop, wanting to help my father, but Idris steers me back into focus, and I am urged to keep going, despite his warning.

‘Okay…now pull the final lever,’ Idris orders me. ‘The big one to your right.’ I glance over to the large arch-shaped lever that has three words engraved on the sides: “Avanti,” “Folle,” and “Indietro,” which, from my Foreign Language studies, are Italian for “Forward,” “Crazy,” and “Backward” respectively. ‘Pull it down to ‘Avanti,’’ Idris instructs me.

I hold my hand above the lever, feeling hesitant to pull it. I’ve seen my father pull the lever before, but I’m scared to pull it myself. Once the lever is pulled, it’s just a matter of flipping a coin, and whatever side the coin lands on would determine whether we live or die. I just hope said ‘coin’ lands on the right side; if not, we’re done for.

‘Trust me,’ Idris says, sensing my anxiety, as well as my racing hearts, which feel like they’re beating in my throat, making it difficult for me to swallow them back down. ‘Pull it.’

I don’t even think this time; I just do it. Once I do, Idris immediately makes her house-key-scraping sound, indicating that we’re leaving this once-beautiful planet forever. “Done,” I say, turning to the pirate, hoping beyond hope that she didn’t catch a single false move once; not that she would, as I doubt she knows anything about how TARDISes work, or if she does, she didn’t pay attention.   

“Excellent,” she says with a devious smirk. “Madame Kovarian will be pleased to see the two of you together, and I will be well compensated for this.”

As she says this, I notice something strange. Her body begins to fade…as in, fade into nothing, like she’s becoming a ghost. She glances around with a frown, making me think she’s noticing the strange phenomenon as well. “What’s happening?” she demands. “Why is the room fading?” Unlike me, she’s seeing the room fade instead of her own body, making me think that this is what Idris’s blue box exterior looks like when it leaves.

‘You are absolutely right,’ Idris confirms my theory. ‘We are dematerializing from her world and transitioning into the Time Vortex. Of course, she’s not coming with us.’

Her statement makes me snort. “Did you really think we’d be stupid enough to let a villain,” I scoff at Multi-Eyes, “especially a Silence member, take control of the TARDIS? Pfft, in your dreams!”

“What did you do?” she screams, pointing her gun at me, making me flinch; but somehow, I know she can’t really hurt me now that she’s physically no longer in the room with us.

I decide to be a bit cocky with her; after all, she can’t do anything to me anymore, not even shoot me. “I kept my silence well,” I say, crossing my arms over my chest (yeah, back atcha, bitch!). “I set the TARDIS in flight to the coordinates like you asked, except I really didn’t; I just made it look like I did, via the TARDIS’s help. In actuality, I just set the Old Girl to transition into the Time Vortex, but unfortunately for you, you’re not invited. So basically, long story short, you’re being left behind. Didn’t see that coming, did you, despite your multi-eyes? And yes, that last pun was intended, if you caught it.”

Nova Song, one; Multi-Eyes, zero!

She must’ve seen the score as well because she raises her gun higher. “You’ll die for this, you devious little devil!” she screams as she begins shooting at me without warning. However, I feel no pain; of course not, because her energy blasts are just sailing right through me but not hitting me. Instead, there is the sound of energy blasts hitting a solid wall, particularly the one behind where Idris parked on the planet. Multi-Eyes attempts to shoot the Doctor as well, only to get the same results. She’s pretty much shooting at nothing in here; however, I can’t help but laugh at the fact that she’s wasting all of her shots on nothing as well.

“Yeah, keep shooting!” I praise her stupidity. “Waste all that ammo on absolutely nothing! Can’t shoot at us while you’re being left behind. Sorry but not sorry!” Eventually, she does end up running out of ammo, and I grin at this. “See, that’s what I’m talking about. Say ‘hi’ to the mutts for me, assuming they don’t eat you first! See ya!” I say this last bit with a childlike wave, like one would give to a bully who had been told off by a teacher and is being sent to the principal’s office as punishment.  

Multi-Eyes growls as she steps forward in an attempt to tackle me, “I’ll get you, you little—!” However, she is unable to finish her sentence as she fades away entirely, leaving no trace of ever having stood foot in the room.

“Oh, sorry,” I taunt, like she hadn’t completely left yet, “didn’t catch that last bit. Oh well, probably for the best anyway.” I then smile, feeling victorious. “Ha! That was pun! Get it? ‘Pun,’ as in ‘fun?’” Okay, I take it back; I’m not completely over with the pun jokes yet; not now that I’ve outsmarted a villain. “Man, I am on fire with these puns today! What do you think of them all, Dad; pretty punny, right?” I glance over to him, expecting him to have come to by now, but he hasn’t. He remains slumped on the chair, motionless. “Dad!” I cry as I run to him and caress his cheek, attempting to rouse him. He doesn’t respond at first. “Dad, no! Stay with me! Stay with me, please!”

A second later, he finally responds by coughing slightly, trailing more blood down his jaw, but at least he’s alive…as of right now, anyway. Our psychic link strengthens slightly as he come to, but not enough. It’s still weak; in fact, it’s now at the weakest it’s ever been. I can feel his remaining heart begin to slow as well through the link. This tells me that he’s not going to make it, but I refuse to believe that. I can’t lose my father…not him!

His eyes flutter open, and when he locks them with mine, he smiles, but his teeth are stained with orange. “Nova…” he says in a relieved tone, happy to see me alive and well…unlike him, who is gravely injured to the point of no recovery, not even regeneration.  

“Dad!” I say, also relieved that he is still alive, when I thought I’d already lost him seconds ago.

“You’re…calling me… ‘Dad’ now,” he says, genuinely impressed, and I can’t help but feel slightly embarrassed, since I’ve only known him less than twenty-four hours, not enough time to feel any kind of real connection with him besides our psychic link.  

“Yeah,” I say, feeling my cheeks blush from embarrassment. “It’s…become a habit. Sorry.” Even though I said ‘sorry,’ a small part of me doesn’t feel sorry at all. It’s like I’m starting to feel differently about him, but I’m honestly not sure why or what I’m feeling. This in itself is a weird feeling.

“No…” he says, shaking his head slightly. “I’m happy. I’ve been waiting…for you to call me ‘Dad.’ I haven’t…been called that…in centuries. It’s nice to hear it again…especially…from you. My daughter.”

His words make me feel ashamed of myself and everything I’ve done. “This was all my fault!” I say, feeling my eyes water with tears. “I ran away again. I ran from you again, because I was angry and scared, and I shouldn’t have! I’m so sorry, Dad! Please forgive me!” Tears begin rolling down my cheeks after I say this.

“Hey…” my father says, caressing my cheeks as a way of protecting them from my tears. “There’s nothing to forgive. Despite what happened to me…you did the right thing. If you…hadn’t left when you did…the pirates would’ve gotten you too. I would never have forgiven myself if you’d gotten hurt.”

“I don’t forgive myself for getting you hurt,” I say, holding his hand in place on my cheek. “All of this was because of me because I wasn’t there to save you. To protect you. I should’ve been there for you. I could’ve taken them all before they’d had a chance to touch you.”

“No…” he shakes his head again, “you couldn’t have. They were too powerful.”

“No, but I could have!” I say insistently. “Didn’t you see what I did? My energy… I zapped the gun out of that guy’s hand! And that ‘mutt’ thing! I honestly don’t know how I did it, but I’m sure I could’ve taken them all down then!” No doubt those creatures had a well-deserved final meal…with a few thousand extra eyes on the side.

I suddenly pause, remembering, staring down at my hands. “Actually, I could heal you right now! I used my energy to heal Hazel’s arm once. I could heal you too!” I concentrate on conjuring the energy in both of my hands and attempt to place them on his chest to heal his broken ribs and hearts.

“No…” he says as he abruptly grabs my hands to stop me. “You can’t.”

“What do you mean, I can’t?” I say with a frown. “You’ll die if I don’t do this! I lost one father; I’m not going to lose you too! Please, let me help you! Let me save you, like I should’ve done!” This is the only way to make it up to him, the only way I can fix one of my greatest mistakes.

The Doctor squeezes my hands tightly in his own, forcing me to stop them from glowing. “I don’t…want you to sacrifice your energy for me,” he pants heavily, struggling to breathe with one heart punctured and the other gradually losing the ability to function on its own. “You…must keep it…for yourself.”

“Mom sacrificed her energy for you,” I argue. “What makes you think this will be any different?” Besides, I’m not going to sacrifice all of my regenerations…not all at once, anyway. Maybe just one or two… Or all of them gradually over time, I think but do not say, not even telepathically.

“Nova…” he says seriously, like he heard my thought anyway. “Your mother sacrificed all of her regenerations for me. She can never regenerate again. I don’t want you ending up the same.”

“And I don’t want you to die!” I snap back at him. I then compose myself at the last minute, feeling ashamed of taking out all of my anger on him again, especially when he’s just looking out for my well-being, as he’s always done for me since I was born. “I love you,” I whimper in barely a whisper, and I realize that I actually mean it this time. Since he gave me up, I thought I’d never love him for it, but now, I realize that he’d done it to protect me, and he cared that much about me to keep me safe from the Silence. Who knows where I’d be right now if he hadn’t given me up. He’d saved my life that night, and I’ve never loved him more for that until now.

It’s just too bad that I didn’t even have the nerve to love him until now, as he lays here dying. Dying because of me.

“Ah, Nova…” he says, smiling again. “You have no idea…how long I’ve been waiting for you to say that. I have always loved you…since the day you were born. I never…stopped thinking about you. Not once.”

“Please, let me save you!” I sob, feeling more desperate than ever. “I don’t want to lose another father…especially you.” If my father-guardian had truly died in that dungeon, the Doctor is the only father I have left, and now I’m about to lose him as well, and I can’t bear to lose him. I can’t bear to lose either of them.  

“You won’t lose me,” he says in an assuring tone. “I will always be with you. In here.” He points to the places over my chest where both of my hearts are, and it makes me think of his exact words he said in his letter: ‘you are seared onto my hearts always.’ “There is no place, nor time, that you can go that I won’t be with you.” He then wraps his fingers around the back of my neck and pulls me in to connect my forehead with his, which still feels incredibly warm to the touch.

We remain like that for a whole minute before he begins coughing again. I immediately pull away as he does. “Dad!” I cry, alarmed, as I wipe the fresh blood from his jaw.

Once he finishes his coughing fit, he slumps in the chair, rapidly losing strength. “I may not…have had the chance…to raise you…” he chokes out, barely able to breathe, “but at least…I get to see your face…one last time.” As he says this, his eyes begin to lose their sparkle and focus as he slowly loses consciousness, this time for good; I know, because I can feel our psychic link truly breaking now, only just holding on by a small strand that’s about to snap.

“No! Don’t talk like that! Please!” I sob, lifting his head up to connect with mine, as if that would will him to stay awake.

But it’s proven futile as he slips away, his eyes fluttering closed, muttering in a barely audible voice, “You look…just like…your mother…River…my love…”

The psychic link breaks as the last syllable leaves his bloodstained lips. The last little bit of the link withers away until there is nothing… Absolutely nothing, meaning only one thing…

No! I scream in my head. I refuse to believe that!

“Dad!” I cry, shaking his shoulders desperately for a sign, for a way to reconnect our link. “No! Come back! Please! Don’t leave me! No!” The more I beg, the more I realize the terrible truth.

I sob uncontrollably as I cradle his broken body in my arms, burying my face in the side of his neck, pleading for him, both physically and telepathically, to wake up. As I do, I think about my mother and what she would say if she saw me here with her love, the Doctor, dead in my arms—dead because of me, her own daughter. I wonder if she would ever forgive me for the death of her husband and the death of my father. I can’t imagine a life without a family, as River is the only family I have left now—River and Idris. If I hadn’t left his side, none of this would’ve happened; he’d still be alive…

But he’s not, and he never will be. Ever again.

Aside from sadness, there’s another emotion flooding through me…one that I can only describe as ‘loneliness.’ Despite River and Idris still being around, I’ve never felt so alone in my entire life. It’s like a large part of me has died, much like how I felt when I first found out I wasn’t human; only this time it’s much bigger, like I’m the only one left. Like I’m the only Time Lord left in the whole universe, now that my father has died. We were said to be the only Time Lords left, and now there’s just me. There’s no one else…just me.

And I can’t bear a second of it.

It’s them! Those pirates! They did this! They killed him! He’s dead because of them…because of her, that multi-eyed witch! I wish I could take her gun and blast her into nothingness, if the mutts haven’t gotten to her first; if they hadn’t, maybe I still have time. She deserves it after what she did…what they did, the Silence included!

‘I’m sorry, Nova,’ Idris says sympathetically. ‘I understand the guilt and anger you're feeling but killing that pirate won’t bring your father back.’

“I don’t care!” I growl darkly, still cradling my dead father. “She deserves it! All of them! The Silence included! They did this to him! To us! They should all be destroyed!”

‘Nova, no!’ she says seriously. ‘What you’re saying is wrong! Revenge is not the way. Trust me, I know. Your father had gone down that path many times, and it had not ended well. Don’t make the same mistakes he made. He wouldn’t want that for you. Nor would your mother…and nor would I.’

“How would you know what they would want?” I say, frowning incredulously. “Mom’s not here, and Dad’s dead! Both of them are, for all I know, including my other mom and Hazel! They can’t stop me, and nor can you! That multi-eyed witch deserves to die for what she did! They all do! They did this to us, and they’re gonna pay for it!” That so-called ‘Vokanari’ took everything and everyone from me! Hazel…the people who raised me…my father…any shot I have—had—at a normal life… Simply taking everything from them isn’t enough; they deserve way worse than that! They deserve way worse than even rotting in Hell.

The more I think about it, the angrier I feel. My vision takes on a golden tinge again as I pull away from my father’s corpse and face the console. “You’re going to take me back to that place,” I growl, “and you’re going to do it now!”

‘Nova—’ Idris starts to protest, but I don’t want to hear a word of it. Nothing matters to me more than putting a bullet, or whatever deadly object I can find, through that multi-eyed hag’s heart (or however many hearts she has), as well as all the hearts of every Silence/Vokanari member in the universe, including Madame Kovarian.

“DO IT!” I demand, feeling my blood boil in my veins. “Take me back right now! And don’t try to stop me this time! You’ll regret it if you do! DO IT NOW!”

With great reluctance, Idris sets herself to pilot back to the planet. I can sense through our psychic link that she’s very uneasy about my lust for revenge, but I ignore it and focus on the console, making sure she’s taking me to the correct place and time; though if she doesn’t, I’m honestly not sure what I’ll do, but it won’t be anything pleasant.

The moment we arrive, without thinking twice, I immediately turn on my heel and storm out the doors, eyes blazing with fire and fury.

I spot her staring incredulously at me, standing at the exact spot we left her just minutes ago, wondering why I had decided to return. Her expression changes in the blink of an eye once she sees me approaching her like an oncoming storm, the raging fire burning intensely in my eyes. I must look like Hell Incarnate to her, and that’s exactly how I want her to see me. In fact, this version of me will be the last thing she’ll ever see.

“Why are you here?” she asks me as she starts to back away fearfully from me, raising her empty gun in my direction as a way to scare me, but it does absolutely no such thing. I instinctively raise my palm and blast the gun out of her hands with my energy, this time actually meaning to do it (though how I did it, I have no idea). She screams in genuine terror.

“THIS IS YOUR FAULT!” I scream angrily at her. “HE’S DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU! I’LL KILL YOU FOR THIS!” I immediately grab the nearest sharp object I can find from one of the piles of debris—a support beam of sorts—and approach the pirate with it, brandishing it like a baseball bat. I can feel the jagged edges cutting my hands as I swipe at her with it, but I ignore the pain, too focused on my lust for revenge to care.

The pirate dodges my attacks, but then she loses her balance and falls backwards on her backside, and I take the opportunity to strike her down right there. “Wait!” she says as she raises her hands up to stop me. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

I know what she’s trying to do, and it won’t work. I will not let her, or any of them, win! “I do!” I say seriously. “You deserve to die for what you did! All of you deserve to die! Dad wouldn’t have died if it weren’t for you sick freaks! I’ll hunt all of you down, including Madame Kovarian, and I won’t stop until all of you are dead! Starting with you! Consider this as ‘getting even!’” My words briefly make me think of the famous Inigo Montoya quote from The Princess Bride, about enacting revenge on the six-fingered man for killing his father, and I plan on doing the exact same thing to Multi-Eyes to avenge my own father. At that moment, I raise the beam above my head in preparation to strike the blow that would ultimately end her life.

Before I do, Multi-Eyes grins at me, saying, “Do it! I dare you! Strike me down, just like we’ve always taught you! Do us proud, little Time Tot! Become one of us! It is your destiny!”

Her words suddenly make me pause, realizing the deeper meaning behind her words. If I do this—if I kill her—I will automatically become one of them. A psychopath, just like they’ve always trained me to be since I was seven.

The school intruder’s words, as well as the pirate’s, spring to mind in that moment, one after the other:

‘You’ve probably been told since then to keep your ‘powers’ in the dark, but we can teach you how to use them. We can teach you how to use your ‘powers’ for the greater good…to rid the universe of a great evil—your father.’

‘You must have often wondered why your personal training was much more advanced, much more potent, than everyone else's. We weren't training you to defend yourself. We were training you to kill.’

‘We can use her newfound power to our advantage. A power like that, she could wipe out entire armies. Forget the time-machine; we could have the most powerful Time Lord on our side. Nothing will stand in her way.’

‘Strike me down, just like we’ve always taught you! Do us proud, little Time Tot! Become one of us! It is your destiny!’

Idris was right! This is not the way to honor my father’s memory. According to Idris, he had sought revenge many times in the past, which made him do horrible things and gave himself a bad rap that had haunted him for centuries after. I don’t want to end up doing the same dark deeds as my father, but, worst of all, I don’t want to become a Silence/Vokanari member, because that’s exactly what I’ll become if I do this, and I refuse to become anything like them, as I’ve said many times before and will never stop saying until the day I die.

Sudden movement from a dark mass with beady red eyes—one of the ‘mutt’ things—up ahead interrupts my thoughts. The mutt appears to be stalking creepily toward us, or rather toward Multi-Eyes from behind, who is totally oblivious to its presence, and my lips unconsciously move in the form of a subtle smile. Since I’ve admittedly given up my lust for revenge, I decide to leave her fate at the mercy of the mutt instead; rather it be the mutt than me.

I glance back down at the pirate as I throw the beam aside, an action that which greatly confuses her. I relish in her fear and confusion as I say, “No. I’ll never become one of you…” I then look up at the mutt, that which growls in anticipation and bears its razor-sharp claws in preparation to pounce in for the kill. I nod in its direction, saying, “But that thing will.”

I then back away quickly into the TARDIS as the mutt jumps on the pirate and rips her multi-eyed body to shreds like the ravenous animal that it is. I slam the door in terror at the gruesome sight and slide to the floor with my back against the door as Idris takes off on her own.

I bury my face in my knees against the doors, in shame at what I had almost done. I can’t believe I almost killed someone, this time on purpose, as the other times were just accidents…well, sort of accidents. I can’t believe I almost killed to avenge my father, the Doctor, the one person who is—was—against violence and the idea of his own daughter becoming a true psychopath. How could I have done (almost done) such a terrible thing?

Thinking of him, I slowly rise from the floor, approach his body, and wrap my arms around him while curling in his lap to find comfort in his cold embrace. Despite it seeming a bit weird for some, I believe that, in this case, seeking comfort from the embrace of a corpse is far better than seeking comfort from nothing at all (I mean, look at Simba from The Lion King shortly after his own father died). Even dead, my father is the only one who can give me this comfort, since my mother isn’t here to give her own.

“I’m sorry…” I sob in the side of his neck in shame. “I’m so sorry…” Of course, I am also apologizing to Idris for forcing her to take me back to that dreadful place to kill that dreadful Silence/Vokanari member. After witnessing her death at the claws of the mutt, it admittedly gives me a bit of relief, knowing she can never harm anyone ever again. Of course, that’s just one Silence/Vokanari member; there are many others out there, including this mysterious Madame Kovarian. No one is safe until they are all gone, their lives snuffed out for good.  

‘It’s alright, my child,’ Idris soothes gently. ‘You are forgiven. Always and completely forgiven. I’m glad it was that creature that killed her and not you. Things would’ve been very different for you, had it been by your own hand. I’m exceptionally proud of you, Nova. So would your mother and father.’

Yeah, I think internally as a response, if only he were still alive… If only he could still regenerate…

Regenerate…

That’s it!

I glance down at my cut hands, thinking better. “There is one other way to bring Dad back,” I say as I make my hands glow gold with the energy as I pull away from his body.

‘Nova, no!’ Idris says insistently, knowing what I’m about to do. ‘He didn’t want you to do that! You could end up sacrificing more than just your regeneration energy!’

“I don’t care!” I say, shaking my head. “This is the only way! I’m not going to let him die like this! Besides, the universe needs the Doctor! I have to do this!” And I need a father… I think but do not say. Him.

‘Nova, don’t do this!’ Idris says pleadingly. ‘You barely have control over your energy anyway! There’s no telling what this would do to you!’

“I don’t care!” I say again. “That’s a risk I’m willing to take! As long as it saves him!” I close my eyes and take a deep breath. “Tell Mom I love her; and if Dad lives, tell him I love him too.”

Opening my eyes again, I place my glowing hands over the Doctor’s chest, willing all of my energy to flow into him and heal everything the pirates had broken, including his hearts. I can feel my physical strength gradually weaken, but I keep going, knowing my father’s life to be more important. Please work, I plead in my head as I continue. Please heal him. Please bring him back to me.

After a while, I start to feel his body mending itself back together, every rib that was broken snapping back into their proper places, like they were never broken to begin with. Even the bruises have long since faded from his youthful face. I am on the verge of passing out when I suddenly feel his twin hearts beat again, and I feel our psychic link reconnect itself, now stronger than ever.

Miraculously, my father takes in a sharp gasp of breath as he reawakens, alive once more. The last thing I remember before my entire world goes dark is his weak voice saying out of shock and breathlessness, “Nova…what did you do? Nova? Nova! Nova…”

Chapter Text

Beepbeep……beepbeep……beepbeep…

I wake to the sound of a low, constant beeping from somewhere to my right, much like a heart monitor in a hospital, except this one has two beeps instead of one, almost like there are two heart monitors, or just one monitor keeping track of two hearts at the same time…

A heart monitor keeping track of a Time Lord’s heartbeat.

Mine.

This realization seems to wake me up fully. Opening my bleary eyes, through the haze, I see that I am in what looks like a hospital room, with the walls painted a solid white, and various machines, including an IV drip attached to my left arm, surrounding my bed. My clothes seem to have changed as well. I am now dressed in the hospital gown that typical patients wear, and my braid has long since been brushed out of my hair and now falls in waves around my pillow. Only one person could’ve set all of this up for me…

My father.

Without sitting up, as my body feels incredibly achy and weak, I glance around and spot him sitting—more like drooping—on the edge of the next bed over, still fully dressed in his bloodstained clothes—which I find strange, as I thought he would’ve changed into cleaner clothes long ago—and head hanging low over his chest. He looks as if he’s fighting himself to stay awake; I know, because I can sense his tiredness through our psychic link. Despite how tired he is—we are—I’m glad to feel the link between us again, after I’d almost lost him to the pirates just minutes ago…or hours, or however long I’ve been out for. I’m honestly scared to know the answer, as he appears to not have eaten or slept in days.

“Dad?” I call out to him weakly, my voice sounding like a dying toad’s and my mouth dry as desert sand. To the right of him, the heart monitor shows two wavy lines—one under the other—that pulse in sync with my breathing, one wavy line for each heart.

His head immediately shoots up at the sound of my voice. “Nova!” he cries in relief as he practically launches himself off the bed toward mine. He wraps his arms gently around me at first. “You’re alright!”

“You’re alive!” I say back at him, knowing his life to be more important to me than my own health. Somehow, I knew I wasn’t going to die from what I did to him, but it had severely weakened me, which, I think, is far better than dying. Duh, because I wouldn’t be here otherwise, and nor would he, probably.

“Thanks to you,” he smiles at me. He then says seriously, hugging me tighter, “Blimey, you gave me quite a scare! You gave up a significant amount of regeneration energy; not all of it, thank goodness, but you sacrificed a lot for me. You shouldn’t have done that! I told you not to do that!”

“You’d be dead if it weren’t for me!” I argue. “Would you rather be dead than alive right now? Besides, I wasn’t planning to lose another father! You, of all people, should understand that!” After all the things he’s lost—others he’s travelled with, his own planet…

There is a long pause between us as my father contemplates what I just said. After a minute, he says with a shameful sigh, “You’re right. Of course you’re right! I’m sorry. What I truly mean to say is ‘thank you.’ It’s just…when you sacrificed your energy for me, I thought…like your mother…” He pauses again, as if too afraid to continue, but I finish for him.

“You thought I’d sacrificed all of my regenerations for you, like Mom did,” I nod understandingly. “But I didn’t, like you said.” I then pause, asking curiously, “Actually, how much did I give up? Do you know? Does it say on the thing?” I glance to the heart monitor, hoping to see some statistics that would tell me exactly how much energy I gave up for him, but all that the monitor shows are the two wavy lines representing my hearts—hence the name ‘heart monitor,’ I guess, I think dismally.

He then reaches out and turns my face toward him, a serious yet gentle look in his ancient, emerald eyes. “It doesn’t,” he admits apologetically, “and I don’t know. Depending on the Silence’s experiments with your energy, there may not be a limit.”

‘There may not be a limit.’ I hope that doesn’t mean what I think it means.

“So you’re saying I may have endless regenerations for all we know?” I say in a panicked tone; not that I meant to sound panicky. Though in my panic, the constant beeping seems to quicken a bit, showing an apparent increase in my anxiety. I briefly wonder if my anxiety increases even more, the monitor might go crazy and malfunction, or flat-line, or something.

“Possibly,” the Doctor says uncertainly. He then places a soothing hand on my shoulder, saying with an assuring smile, “But you shouldn’t worry about that right now. You need to rest. Doctor’s orders.”

When he says that last bit, he taps me playfully on the tip of my nose before he rises from my bedside and adjusts one of the machines I’m hooked up to, making me briefly worry that he’s going to force some kind of sedative into my system; that does seem to be a general vibe humans get from most doctors. Not that I’ve ever experienced any vibes like that, since I’ve never been inside a hospital before—at least until now—but this is a vibe that Hazel often got when she went in for checkups. She was always jealous of me during these times.

Luckily, I don’t feel any sleepier as I say, raising a skeptical eyebrow, “I see what you did there. You trying to be punny again? I’m not sure if I can handle any more puns.” That first adventure may have been a punny one, but it sure as hell wasn’t funny, nor was it at all fun. Only a psychopath would think almost losing a father to a bunch of maniacal space-pirates is fun.

“I suppose it was,” he says with genuine uncertainty, like he didn’t truly intend to make that pun if it was one. “I’m not just called ‘the Doctor;’ I am a proper doctor, you know.”

“Actually, I didn’t know that, but okay,” I say with a frown. Then again, it would explain the professional setup he has here. No one without a proper medical degree would have set up all of this stuff as perfectly as the Doctor had, making me believe everything he just said. Perhaps he has said medical degree hanging up on a wall somewhere in here, complete with legit signatures (assuming this was a thing on Gallifrey). Surely even Time Lords had their own form of medical insurance back in the day, long before their regeneration ability came into being. All planets should, right? How else would people stay healthy?

“Speaking of rest, you look like you need it too,” I add, noticing the heavy bags under his eyes for the first time, which make him appear so much older than even twelve-hundred. “You look like you haven’t eaten or slept in…” I pause. “How long have I been out?” Like I said, I’d be afraid to know I’ve been comatose for much longer than just overnight.

“Three days,” he admits my fear. “In all that time, I’ve never left your side once.”

Three days?! Damn! No wonder he looks so malnourished. Three days without food is a dangerously long time, even for a human. Then again, maybe malnutrition affects Gallifreyans differently.

“Not even to change clothes?” I say, gesturing to his bloodstained clothing. “Or go to the bathroom?” I’m scared to know the answer to the second question; not that he’d tell me, but even if he thought about it, I’m not sure I want to know.

“None of that,” he says, shaking his head honestly. “I didn’t want to take the chance that something went wrong if I’d left your side for even a second.”

“Fair point,” I nod, “but I’m sure I would’ve been fine. Thanks, anyway.” He could’ve at least had the decency to change his clothes, as the bloody marks are a painful reminder of my greatest fault, which sends another wave of guilt washing over me, drowning my already aching hearts.

“You are very welcome,” my father says with a forgiving smile, caressing my cheek. “It’s what any father would do for his daughter.” He then steps back again, saying, “Now, you rest. I’m demanding it. You’re very weak.”

“I’d feel much better if I slept in my own bed,” I say, shifting uncomfortably in my hospital bed and gown. “Is it possible for me to transfer to my own room? This bed feels a bit too lumpy for my comfort.” I’m not exactly a fan of the gown either, but I don’t tell him this, nor do I tell him I don’t appreciate the fact that he undressed me at all, especially against my consent. That shouldn’t be legal, should it, even if it’s a father to a daughter; even if said father is still kinda, sorta considered a stranger to said daughter?

“I’d have to discharge you for that,” he says apologetically, “as well as detach your IVs.” He wants me to feel comfortable in general, but he also wants me to stay in this hospital room and recover, the latter being more important to him; although for me I’m the exact opposite. I believe comfort lies on the path to recovery, therefore I’ll recover faster in a much more comfortable environment. Besides, who wants to be cooped up in a boring, old hospital, anyway?

“Then do it,” I say carelessly. “Please. I don’t think I can sleep here. I’d feel better in my own room.” I actually prefer my own room at home, but I keep this thought to myself.

The Doctor pauses for another minute before finally complying with a smile. “As you wish. But on one condition…I carry you there. You’re in no fit state to walk on your own yet. In fact, it’s best that I don’t leave your side for at least another day, so I suppose I have two conditions.”

I can’t help but feel a bit annoyed with his statement, but I give in with a shrug anyway as he begins detaching my IVs with care, “Then sleep with me. I don’t care. It’s not gonna be weird or anything, since we’re blood. I don’t think River will mind at all; in fact, I think she’d feel overjoyed of the prospect. She did want us to bond more closely in her absence anyway. Besides, all daughters sleep with their fathers at least once in their life, right? I mean I’ve slept with my father on more than one occasion…well, my father-guardian, anyway. This won’t be any different.”

“Really?” he says, genuinely shocked. “You don’t…see me as a stranger anymore?”

“No,” I say honestly, shaking my head. “Well, not a complete stranger, anyway. I haven’t seen you like that for a while now. Not since…” I then pause, thinking of how close my father was to death; in fact, he did die, and he would’ve stayed like that, had I not been able to bring him back to life with my energy. This is admittedly the one time I am thankful for being born the way I am. “Not since you almost died,” I say, admitting my fear.

The moment I finish speaking, my father pauses what he’s doing and just stares at me, seemingly like I’ve grown an extra head; though, actually, he’s staring at me like he’s realized the deeper meaning behind my words, how much his death had impacted me. Feeling uncomfortable by his stare, I look away from him, staring down at the floor.  

After a while, he resumes his task, saying with a clear of his throat, “I’m almost done. Just one more.” He holds my arm steady as he detaches the last IV. Once he’s done, he smiles as he hooks a stray curl behind my ear. “There. Now you’re good to go.” He then stands up straight and says, like a legit medical doctor would, “Nova Susan Song, your doctor has discharged you.” I laugh as he pulls the blanket off of me and gently gathers me up in his arms. I wrap my own arms tightly around his neck as he does so. “Now, let’s get you to your room, shall we?”

He carries me out of the room and into the familiar hexagonal-shaped hallway, and I realize that we’re still in the TARDIS, and that that room must’ve been the TARDIS med bay. That would explain the lack of other hospital staff, I think to myself. Dad must take up all of the roles.

As he walks me through the hallways, I can’t help but feel the pulse point on the side of his neck. It feels strange, like it’s a double pulse instead of a single one (though on the dead planet, his pulse felt like a single one, on account of one of his hearts being punctured, though I didn't know this at the time). This realization brings me back to the time when my guardians were teaching me about pulses, and they let me feel theirs, only theirs was a single pulse while mine was a double. The double pulse must be normal for Time Lords, I think.

“What’re you doing?” my bio-father asks, puzzled, bringing me back to the present. This must be really weird to him, seeing his daughter feeling his pulse seemingly for no reason.

But I do have a reason. It—they?—is still beating, and I’m very thankful, because three days ago, even just for a few minutes, it wasn’t beating. It was silent, dead. “Sorry,” I say awkwardly. “It’s just…it’s nice to feel your pulse again. You know, after…”

After you almost died, I think but do not say. Does it really need saying?

“I understand,” he nods solemnly. He doesn’t say anything else. Even he knows it doesn’t need saying.

Even so, I can’t help but still feel awkward. Changing the subject, I say, looking around, “These hallways look the exact same. How can you not get lost in this place?”

“After a thousand years of Time and Space, I’ve memorized all the routes to get places,” he explains. “No matter how much the Old Girl changes, she’s never changed her routes. The rooms may have changed, but the routes to get to the rooms have never changed. At least, they haven’t for a while.” He then pauses, reaching a T-junction. “Speaking of which, I seem to have lost my way a bit. Is it left or right here? Left, I believe.” He starts walking in the left direction, but after a few steps he stops and turns back around. “No, it’s definitely right. Yup, that’s right. I always get turned around at that junction.”

“Maybe you should put up signs,” I chuckle. “That way you’d know where everything is.”

“Yeah, I should,” he smiles back, though he says it like he would if he’d had the patience and motivation, but he doesn’t have either. Then again, it makes sense, considering his responsibility of saving the universe to be much more important; even just one small delay, such as this, could be disastrous.  

A minute later, he enters a dark room, though it’s one I don’t recognize. “Here we are,” my father says as he steps inside. He then pauses, frowning. “No, wait, wrong room.”

“Yeah, I was about to say, I don’t think this is mine,” I nod. I then ask curiously, “Whose is it?”

“Mine,” he answers in a somewhat embarrassed tone.

“Yours?” I say in shock. And here I thought he rarely slept, what with how often he saves the universe; he must hardly ever get breaks to himself. I imagine once he finishes saving one world, another immediately comes calling, so he doesn’t get time to do anything in-between, not even for a small thirty-minute snooze. How does he cope?

Speaking of which, I wonder how many distress calls he’s ignored over the last three days, taking care of me.

“That’s alright,” he says, shaking his head as he steps back into the hallway, “we can just leave this one and find your room instead. Yours is much cleaner than mine anyway.”

“No, I’d like to see yours,” I say honestly, “if that’s alright with you.” I’ve wondered what a Gallifreyan bedroom would look like; perhaps like a king’s royal bedchamber, or something similar. 

“You sure?” he asks, like he’s ashamed to admit I’m wrong.

“Yeah,” I say indifferently with a small shrug. “I mean we came all this way. Besides, you look incredibly tired from carrying me anyway; on top of taking care of me for three straight days without food or sleep.”

After a bit more persuasion, I finally convince him to stay, despite me wanting to sleep in my own bed, but now that I think about it, I’ve never seen his room before, and I’ve always been curious ever since I met him. Even if I’m wrong about his room being anything like a royal bedchamber, I wouldn’t care either way; at least I get to see it with my own eyes. Plus, I’m not one to judge too much, unless people judge me first, needless to say.

“Get the light,” he says as he holds me in front of a light switch.

After I flip it, the room is illuminated in a dim light. “Whoa!” I say, taking in the room.

The room is nothing like I expected. It’s just an ordinary master bedroom like you see in normal human houses. This one is slightly messier than most, with piles of clothes—some even women’s clothes—scattered everywhere, making the room look like a miniature mine field. Despite its untidiness, I don’t blame the Doctor for having not cleaned it; considering how busy he is, I imagine he hardly has time to clean his room; not to mention he hardly ever has people over—no one besides my mother, anyway, whose women’s clothes, I assume, are hers—to share the room with him. In any case, I find it interesting that he seems to live similarly to a human when he’s not saving the universe; perhaps there are other rooms in the TARDIS that liken to other rooms in a typical house, such as a kitchen, living room, library, and maybe even a swimming pool.

“What?” my father asks, puzzled at my unexpected exclamation.

“Nothing,” I say honestly. “It’s just…I expected your room to look more like a king’s courters or something, that’s all. Not that you’re a royal, or anything. Or are you? I mean, were you?” For a brief moment, I imagine what it would be like to live as a Gallifreyan princess, if there was ever such a thing before the war decimated his home-world.

“No,” he smiles with a hint of sadness. “I was more of a…farm boy, I guess you could say. I grew up in a small barn just outside the Capitol.”

This genuinely shocks me. How could a ‘farm boy,’ as he described himself, grow up to be such a powerful Time Lord, and apparently one whom the entire universe seems to fear?

“What was it like?” I ask curiously as he sets me gently on his bed. Did he live similarly to how a human farmer would live, such as growing crops and delivering them to the nearby towns and cities to feed the hungry?

“It was peaceful,” he says in a melancholic tone. “Quiet.” He doesn’t say anything else as he shrugs off his bloodied jacket and unties his bow tie. He then picks up a woman’s dressing gown from off the floor and smells it to make sure it’s clean. “You want to dress into something more comfortable, put this on,” he says as he tosses the gown to me, which is made of a soft flannel fabric. “It’s your mother’s. Should fit; if not I’ll find something else for you.”

“Thanks,” I say as I begin unbuttoning my hospital gown. I then pause, glancing to him awkwardly, “Uh…do you mind?” After I say this, I move my index finger in a circle to suggest that he turn away from me to give me a bit of privacy as I undress.

“Oh! Of course!” he says as he turns around and faces a dresser, which he digs around in for a pair of clean sleepwear. “I’ll be changing as well, so don’t mind me.”

“I won’t look,” I say as I slip on River’s dressing gown, which admittedly is a bit big on me but long enough to cover most of my figure. The moment it’s on my body, it makes me feel a tad warmer. There is also a peculiar smell of…something. Perfume, perhaps? Whatever it is, it’s a sweet-smelling aroma, but it’s unlike anything I’ve ever smelt before.

“Okay, I’m decent,” I say as I look up, prepared to turn around, when something immediately catches my eye across from the bed in the far corner—something green and glowing above a large wooden box of some kind. “What’s that?” I ask as I slowly get up from the bed, still feeling a little weak in the legs.

I lean on various pieces of furniture to support me as I approach the glow-y thing. Once I’m close enough, I realize that it’s part of a crib mobile, which hangs above a wooden cot with a headboard shaped in a very peculiar way, like a ceremonial headpiece one would wear at a christening or coronation. The green orb is surrounded by hanging metal stars and spheres, much like an aerial view of a solar system. There are intricate carvings on the side and front of the crib that I recognize as Gallifreyan symbols, similar to the ones on my locket. “This is beautiful,” I say as I delicately place my hand on the wooden surface, tracing my fingertips along one of the symbols. “Is this yours?” This is clearly Gallifreyan in origin, and it appears to be really old, parts of its wooden surface seeming to have been chipped away from centuries of use.

The Doctor approaches me a second later, having changed into flannel pajama bottoms and a plain white T-shirt. “Yes,” he says as he smiles down at the cot and wraps his arm around me to steady me. “Many of your Gallifreyan ancestors slept in that cot, including your mother and me. We even have our names engraved on the sides, see? This one’s your mother’s.” He points to the group of symbols on the front of the footboard. “And this one’s mine.” He points to the larger group of symbols on the side. “One of these days, we’ll engrave your name on here.”

“I slept in here too?” I say in amazement. In that moment, a vague memory of a green orb hanging above my head as an infant flashes in my mind.

“You did,” he nods, “for only four nights.” He holds me tighter against him, and I can suddenly feel his sadness through the link. I can feel his guilt as he thinks about the time when he’d given me up, and how he wished he hadn’t. Who knows how many nights I could’ve slept in this cot, had I stayed. “Come,” he says after a minute of silence before he pulls me toward his bed again. “You’re sleeping over here.”

“Yeah, I don’t think I’ll be able to fit in that cot anymore,” I say jokingly, hoping to cheer him up a bit, but he doesn’t laugh. He directs me back over to one side of the bed, and as I get settled he goes back over to the switch on the wall to turn off the overhead lights.

“This is really comfy,” I say as I lay across what I assume to be River’s side of the bed. The sheets feel soft like the flannel gown I’m wearing. As I drape the covers over me and lay my head down on the pillow, I am hit with another sweet scent that seems to match the scent on my gown. “This pillow smells good; smells kinda like perfume.”

“Ah, that’s your mother,” my father says as he climbs into bed on his side. I guess even Time Lord couples have specific sides of the bed, I think with a smile. Funny how some things never change, even on other planets. “She often leaves behind the smell of perfume when she sleeps here.” He inhales deeply as if to savor her scent, but his expression seems to show that he would rather she be here in person, which I agree. I only got to spend an hour with her before she left me again. I miss her just as much as he does.

“You must really enjoy it,” I say, breaking the silence between us. “Not just the perfume, but when she…you know…visits you at night.” This seems to be a much better explanation than…the alternative.

“Oh, yes,” he nods vigorously. “I won’t go into any details with you, unfortunately. Seeing as you’re…well…” He gestures to me to show how young I am and my relation to him, but I understand perfectly…maybe.

“Oh, no, I wasn’t asking for details,” I say, shaking my head awkwardly. “I…uh…can imagine.” This conversation is starting to get really awkward, especially between us.

“Good,” he says, feeling equally awkward, as he reaches up to straighten his bow tie, only to discover that he’s not wearing it, so he adjusts the collar of his T-shirt instead.

I swiftly change the subject. “So, why do you still have your cot in here?” I ask curiously, turning to the side to face him. “I thought…since you gave me up, you’d put it in storage or something.”

“No,” he shakes his head, flipping over to face me on his side of the bed. “I…wasn’t ready to part with it yet. I wanted to keep it around in the hope that you would, one day, return to me…” He then smiles. “Which you have.”

“Yeah,” I say, smiling back at him. “It’s great to be back.” Before, I felt like this was my first ever time being in the TARDIS, but now it feels like I’ve never left, like I’ve been here my whole life. “Although, I was honestly under a different impression,” I say, suddenly frowning in confusion. “River said that you’d actually never planned to come back for me; at least not until the Silence were defeated for good. Was that true?”

The Doctor pauses for a few seconds, like he’s looking for the best explanation that won’t offend or scare me. He reaches out and caresses my cheek as he begins his long explanation. “It was…but it also wasn’t. I never really wanted to give you up at all. I had hoped there would be a way for us to be together, no matter what happened. But I couldn’t keep you around without you being in constant danger because of me. When the Silence found out that I had actually survived the lake, and not long after that they found out River was pregnant with you, they began to redouble their efforts to have me killed, and they planned to use you as their next weapon to kill me. They kidnapped your mother and replaced her with a flesh duplicate, just like they did to your grandmother, and they waited until you were born to perform their sick experiments on you to make your regeneration energy much more powerful, hoping to use it as a weapon against me. Then, when their experiments were over, they took you away, but I was able to find you by using our telepathic link to connect with you, and I stole you back with the help of some friends of mine. After that, I realized that you would not be safe with me, because the Silence would track me down to get to you. So I sought to find a human couple that was looking to adopt a child and have them adopt you and hide you from the Silence for the rest of your life.”

“But it wasn’t until after my first regeneration that you realized that I wasn’t going to be safe anywhere,” I clarify, “so you had River watch over me from a distance until I was much older?”

“Yes,” he confirms, “but we didn’t expect you to regenerate at such an early age. In fact, we hoped you’d never regenerate at all until the Silence had stopped hunting you forever. Your guardians should’ve known not to give you aspirin that night.”

“It wasn’t their fault,” I say, shaking my head. “They were trying to help me feel better and didn’t think that what they were using on me was going to kill my body. They were just doing what parents would normally do for their sick child. It’s in their nature. I mean, you should know, with the way you helped me over the last three days.” Surely he wasn’t treating me back to health as if I was just a normal patient; rather he treated me like a father would treat his own sick daughter.

“You’re right,” he sighs shamefully after a minute of silence. “I meant no disrespect to your guardians.”

“It’s fine,” I say with a shrug. “Everyone makes mistakes. It’s what makes us human—well, it makes them human. You know what I mean.”

“Yes,” he nods. He then pauses for another minute before admitting his guilt and continuing to caress my cheek in a loving manner. “My biggest mistake was not being able to protect you over the last eighteen years. I was never there when you needed me the most, when you were struggling to accept who and what you are. If I’d never given you up, you wouldn’t have had to go through all that rubbish. I’m never going to make that same mistake again. I promise.”

I smile back at him, placing my hand over his, but then I pause, feeling ashamed. My father had just admitted his greatest mistake, and I suddenly feel the need to do the same. Tears begin to fill my eyes at the horrible memory, as well as the immense fear I felt at the time of the event—a fear that I never ever want to experience again.

“What’s wrong?” my father asks with a frown, sensing my shamefulness through our link, but I don’t have the hearts to tell him. More tears flood my eyes, and I fail to hold them back as they spill down my cheeks, and my hearts feel heavy like stones in my chest. Suddenly noticing this, my father reaches over me and gathers me in his arms, saying calmly, “Hey, hey… It’s alright, my Nova, you can tell me. What’s on your mind?” He holds me against him with one hand and runs his fingers through my hair with the other in an attempt to calm me, but my tears refuse to stop spilling down my cheeks, soaking into his shirt.

“Abandoning you at the planet after I’d run off out of anger and frustration…” I whimper in his chest, wrapping my arms tighter around him, like he’ll disappear if I let go even a little bit, “that was the worst mistake of my entire life. Because I’d done that, you were almost killed. In fact, you were killed, and I couldn’t stop them from doing that to you. If I’d stayed, none of that would’ve happened. It’s my fault they did that to you. I should never have left you. I’m so sorry.” I don’t know where I’d be right now if I hadn’t been able to save his life three days back. Would I be forgiven, or would the entire universe, including my guardians, Hazel, and especially River, reject me for what I did? Honestly, I don’t think I want to know.

“Oh, Nova,” he says as he lays his head gently on top of mine. “You don’t have to apologize. You saved my life, did you not? I couldn’t have been prouder of you.”

“What if I couldn’t save you?” I say fearfully. “What if I didn’t have regenerations to give? What if I was born human instead?”

After I finish, he lifts his head from mine. “Look at me,” he says, forcefully lifting my chin up to look him straight in the eye. “Does it matter? No, it doesn’t! You were born the way you are. Nothing can change that. You were born to save me…to save everyone! You are my daughter, and nothing in the universe can change that, not even regeneration! Nothing! I wouldn’t ask for anything to be changed about you, because I love you just the way you are.” He hugs me again, kissing me lightly on my forehead. I look away from him again and bury my face in his chest, soaking more tears into his shirt. We remain like that for a few minutes until I finally have the nerve to confess what’s really on my mind.

“I was so scared,” I say after a while. “When you died. I felt like a part of me had died with you when our link broke. I felt completely helpless. Powerless. Alone. I felt like…” I sigh, swallowing back a whimper, “like there was no one else. Like I was the only one left. The last one in the entire universe. It was horrible.”

My father is quiet for a few seconds before he responds with a deep sigh, “I understand what you mean.”

“When you died,” I continue, struggling to swallow back a knot that had formed in my throat, “there was a moment… A moment when I wanted revenge. Revenge on the pirate for what she did. I wanted to go back to the planet and kill her myself in the most painful way possible. In fact, I did go back. I wanted to kill her. I wanted to tear her apart with my own two hands and destroy whatever was left. I truly did; I was so desperate. I wanted to do the same to the Silence as well. All of them. I wasn’t going to let them get away with killing my father—you. Not until they had seen what your death had done to me first.”

I truly mean every word. That multi-eyed witch saw the fury in my eyes, and she was legitimately scared of me, much like prey would be toward a predator before being eaten, and in that moment I was proud, content to have that much power over her. To have her beg me for mercy when I had absolutely no intentions of giving any. In those few seconds, I had become a raging goddess, and she had become vulnerable to me, like a dog submitting to her mistress in shame. At the time, admittedly, it was terrifying but also thrilling at the same time. Now, it's more terrifying than anything else. If I had actually done it... What I would've become...

"Did you do it?" my father asks in almost a whisper, sensing my thoughts.

I shake my head. "No. I almost did. If I had..." I don't even want to think about it; it's just too horrible to contemplate. I squeeze my eyes tightly shut at the thought of how everyone would think of me if I had killed the pirate and become one with the Silence. Would they still look at me the same way even if I did? 

"Nova, look at me, right at me," he says as he lifts my chin up to face him again, this time holding my chin in place so I can't look away. There is still that gentle sparkle in his eyes as he continues speaking softly but firmly, "Whether or not you had actually done it and become one of them, it doesn't matter. Like I said before, you are my daughter, and nothing in the universe can change that. Not one thing. Nothing in the universe can make me stop loving you either. You are seared onto my hearts always, Nova Susan Song."

"You've said that to me before," I say with a smile. "Many times."

"And I will continue to say it until the day I die—permanently," he returns the smile, rubbing my back soothingly. "It’s hard to move on, but sometimes you don’t have a choice. Take it from a twelve-hundred-year-old man who’s seen and lost everything.”

“You haven’t lost everything,” I say with a frown. “You haven’t lost me…or Mom.” At this point, calling River ‘Mom’ has never felt more right.

“True,” he nods, though in his tone of voice, I can tell he is hiding a dark secret, but I decide not to push him for the truth. Not right now.

Without warning, a massive yawn escapes my lips against my consent.

“You should get some sleep now,” my father suggests, though it is more of an order than an actual suggestion. He lifts the covers higher around us as he says this.

“You won’t leave me, will you?” I ask seriously as I cuddle close to him in an attempt to make myself more comfortable, laying my head across his chest over both his hearts, which are beating strong, as they should be from now until the end of Time, which is, ironically, something he said to me once upon a time.

“I said I wasn’t going to leave your side for at least another day,” he says with a smile, cuddling me closer. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Good,” I say, smiling back at him, “because I’m not going to let you. Ever again.” I actually meant that I didn’t want to lose him at the hands of Death Himself again, but I’m sure he knew I meant that too.

He wraps his arms around me and rests his head on top of mine again as he says the same exact words my mother said on my first ‘night’ in this magnificent blue box, “Sweet dreams, my Nova. I love you.”

“I love you too,” I say, truly meaning it this time. I’ve never meant it more than I do now, especially towards him. Deep down, he’s always been my father, no matter what anyone says about him, and I’ve never seen him as anything else. Sure, I may have called him a monster at one point, but that was my anger talking, not my true self. The Doctor will always and forever, from now until the end of Time, be ‘Dad’ in my mind.

I listen to his—Dad’s—strong heartbeats as I fall asleep, determined to hear them beat for the rest of my life.

Chapter Text

"Rule 1: The Doctor lies."

That's one of the major things I found out about my father, and if I'm being honest, it's the stupidest rule in the universe. Here's why:

The next day, I expected Dad to take me on our next adventure, but instead he insisted on taking me back to the TARDIS med bay for more tests on my health after my three-day-long coma. In other words, he didn't fully discharge me last night like he claimed. "Seriously?" I groaned, and that was when he immediately told me about his number-one rule: The Doctor lies.

Not long after, we had a serious argument about it. He was saying that there was a reason why he lied to people like this, that reason being to keep people safe and protect them, but I disagreed...well, partially. He didn't believe that I was fully recovered and that I was still too weak to go adventuring, and he wanted to wait another day until I was fully recovered to allow me to do anything too active. This annoyed me so much to the point of me arguing that he's just lying to manipulate me into staying in the TARDIS forever, which he shouldn't have a right to do to me. I argued that he can't keep me cooped up in the TARDIS forever, no matter how dangerous he claims the universe is, and that I should have a right to decide whether or not I'm ready to leave her walls. Admittedly, I was still a bit tired, but that didn't mean I couldn't function on my own without him assisting me every second of the day. I also argued that it's one thing to lie to protect people both physically and emotionally, but it's another to lie to take advantage of people for his own gain.

These statements made me think of my situation with my guardians before I left them, and before I found out the truth of their overprotectiveness. Most normal teenagers would occasionally have the whole weekend to themselves without their parents being home, or they'd be out in public with friends without having to contact their parents every hour of the day, but for me I wasn't so lucky. Throughout the majority of my childhood, as well as my teenage life, I was rarely allowed to go out in public for more than a handful of hours. I remembered my guardians almost deciding to have me homeschooled when I was a kid, as I'd be better protected that way, and it took a hell of a lot of convincing to send me to a public school instead, where I could have at least a little bit of social interaction with people, hence how I met Hazel. Even with Hazel, I was rarely alone (if at all), and my guardians would often have me contact them whenever we went out to at least let them know I was still alive with both hearts functioning (blah, blah, blah), which was incredibly tedious. Even when I was home, I was rarely home alone, as at least one of my guardians would be home with me, or if they were both gone they wouldn't be gone for more than two hours. I never understood why I couldn't do normal teenager-y things like everyone else in my school—much less be on my own at all—and I often had fights with my guardians about it. Of course, now I understand why they've been so overprotective and rarely letting me leave the house except for school and Martial Arts lessons, and to this day I still wish I could be normal. When I left to go to London, I had hoped to find the freedom that I longed for, never knowing it was destined to be short-lived.

And now here I am, back to Square One, back to being under the roof of a freakishly overprotective parent. Typical.

Eventually, I was able to convince Dad (after several more pointless and tedious tests) to leave me alone in the TARDIS to do my own thing. Well, sort of, as he'd insisted on me 'doing my own thing' in the form of resting. Again, this greatly annoyed me, but I was no longer in the mood to argue, as I'd done that way too much with him since I first met him, so I just put up with whatever he wanted until he finally discharged me for good (and trust me, I made sure of it).

Of course, instead of resting, like he asked, I play guitar in my room, having not played since before I left for London. Of course, this isn't me being a rebellious teenager (not really); I just can't sleep, since I've been literally sitting on my ass, doing nothing but be poked and prodded by my father, for the past nine hours.

I'm in the middle of playing one of my favorite songs ("Blackbird" by The Beatles) when my father's voice startles me into almost dropping my guitar.

"Nova Susan Song!" he says sternly, having entered my bedroom without my knowledge. "What do you think you are doing?"

"Dad!" I cry, fumbling with my guitar as I set it on the bed beside me. "You scared the bejesus out of me!" Would it kill you to knock next time? I think disapprovingly in my head, not caring whether he heard me through our link or not.

"As much as I'm proud to hear you calling me 'Dad' now," he says as he walks further into my room, placing his hands on his hips, "I thought we agreed that I was going to start leaving you alone if you promised you'd get some rest on your own. And yet here you are, doing the complete opposite of our agreement! Why aren't you resting, young lady?" He sounds legitimately angry with me, almost exactly like a strict father toward his rebellious teenager who'd been caught doing something naughty, but I haven't done anything wrong.

In any case, I can't stop the words from coming out of my mouth. I say with a sigh, rolling my eyes, "Okay, 1) you're not my doctor; in fact, I've never had one and never will. 2) I am perfectly capable to taking care of myself, now that I'm a legal adult. And 3) I can't sleep! Trust me, I tried! But no matter what I do, I can't shut my mind down. It's like that feeling you get when you've had too much caffeine, and you feel like literally bouncing off the walls; only in this case there's no caffeine at all." I then pause, saying shamefully, "Okay, those first two reasons sounded harsher than I intended, but you know what I mean. It's just...I've spent my entire life under the roof of freakishly overprotective parents. Of course, I understand why they've been so overprotective—at least now I do—and I'm sure you can understand how it's made me feel in all that time, even before I found out the truth."

I never had the privilege of making my own life choices, nor being trusted to be home alone for a whole day like most normal teenagers. It was completely unfair! And now I feel like the Doctor is doing the same thing as my guardians; maybe he was the one who talked them into being as overprotective as they were all these years.

"I do understand," he says calmly as he sits beside me on my bed. "You've not had the chance to live the life of a normal teenager. I understand how hard that must've been for you, but it was for your own safety."

"I know that now," I say with a groan. "I just wish I'd known that sooner. If only I was born human..."

There is an awkward silence between us for a minute before Dad rises from my bed. "Come," he says as he holds his hand out to me. "Let's walk."

"I thought you wanted me to rest," I say with a puzzled frown.

"You clearly are in no mood for that," he says, and I'm honestly not. "Plus, I find that walking helps to clear my head, and you need it." He wiggles his fingers as a way to encourage me to take his hand, but I'm still not convinced.

"Where're we going?" I ask suspiciously. If he plans to take me back to that cursed med bay, I'm going to make him suffer for it.

"You'll see," Dad says with a smile, holding his hand out more insistently. "Come."

At this point, I feel like I don't have a choice, and I reluctantly take his hand. He squeezes my hand tightly as he pulls me away from my bed and out of my room.

"You better not be taking me back to the med bay," I say seriously as we walk, recognizing the route that which we are currently taking, "because if we are—"

"No, I'm not taking you there again," Dad says, shaking his head. "You're done there. I'm taking you somewhere much more magnificent."

"Where?" I ask with a raised eyebrow.

"It's just past the med bay, through those doors at the end of the hall," he says, pointing ahead at a set of large bronze double doors.

At these words, I can't help giving him a suspicious sideways glance. "Secretive much? Seriously, why does everything have to be so mysterious with you? You and Mom both!"

"It's complicated," he chuckles as we approach the doors, "but it's also something you will learn very shortly."

"'Learn?'" I ask, puzzled. "Is this another 'training' thing; another part of the so-called 'family business?'"

"Not exactly," Dad says, shaking his head, "but it is something important for you to understand when you're older. It's time you knew."

"Knew what?" I ask with a frown, feeling uncertain of whether or not I actually want to know. Based on the grim look on his face, I'm not sure I do.

"Why there are so many secrets between your mother and me," he admits as he places his hands on one of the doors in preparation to push it open. "Why there can be no spoilers between us."

"So, you're gonna show me your family history?" I ask with a raised eyebrow as I place my own hands on the opposite door as him. "I mean your history with Mom?"

He nods slowly. "Yes. Through telepathy."

"Telepathy?" I ask, still legitimately confused. "So, you're gonna get inside my head?" Despite my father still somewhat being a stranger to me, I'm not sure I'm comfortable with him invading my mind. Admittedly, I'm still not comfortable with the fact that he can read my thoughts anyway, through our psychic link.

"No," Dad shakes his head again. "You're going to get inside my head. I'll teach you how when we get inside." He then gestures for me to push the door open, and he does the same with his in unison.

"Wow!" I say in amazement as we enter the vast room on the other side of the doors. "This is the library, isn't it? It's beautiful!"

The room is at least four floors high, with an undetermined number of bookshelves on each floor. There are large tables made of dark walnut wood that appear to be reminiscent of the styles of medieval and Victorian times, each topped with small stacks of books and old-fashioned lampshades. Of all the libraries I've seen, this one is by far the coolest.

"Yes," Dad smiles as he looks around, impressed. "It's one of the many places in the TARDIS I come to when I need to clear my head."

"I may have to claim this as my new bedroom," I say as I pick up a warn book from one of the tables and skim its front cover, which is titled something in a language that I can't decipher. I open its contents to find more of the undecipherable language within its pages. "It's so cozy in here, I could live in here. Can I live in here?"

"Uh...I suppose," Dad says uncertainly with a raised eyebrow.

"Great!" I say with a smile as I place the book back on the stack on the table and rush to catch up with him. "Of course, I'm actually joking about that, but I'm also not really." I continue looking around in awe as I follow him through the library's lower floor. "Wow! So many books! How many books do you have in here? I bet you have books that haven't even been published yet, at least from my time. Perhaps you've written a few yourself." From the enormity of the place, he must have books from literally every era of every planet in all of Time and Space.

"You'd be correct," he nods. "Unfortunately, I can't let you read those, nor any books from your future."

"Why not?" I ask, puzzled. I then pause with a roll of my eyes. "Wait, don't tell me... 'Spoilers,' right?"

"Right," he nods again.

"Ugh!" I groan loud enough for my voice to echo throughout the room. "Is there anything—literally anything—in your life that doesn't involve spoilers? Or anything I'm allowed to get into that won't spoil the future for me?"

"Of course!" he says in an obvious tone. "There are loads of things to get involved in! As long as it's nothing to do with your personal future."

"Why do I get the sense that this is some Time Lord rule that you're meant to follow," I say suspiciously with a raised eyebrow, "but it's one that you break almost on a daily basis?"

"It's not a rule I break on a daily basis," Dad shakes his head, "though it has happened from time to time, usually unintentionally. We talked about this before, at the ice cream shop on Contraxia."

"Yeah, I remember," I nod. Our convo suddenly makes me wonder if he is mentioned in several history books in this library, but he may have hidden them out of sheer embarrassment, aside from avoidance of spoilers (whatever that means). "So are there certain 'spoilers' you are going to show me right now?" I ask curiously as we approach a small area with a large velvet couch in front of a magnificent sixteenth-century-style fireplace.

"Yes," he says as he seats me down on the couch and sits beside me. "First off, I'm going to be teaching you a few common telepathy skills that Time Lords generally have. These are important skills to know how to do when you're older, travelling on your own. Some of these skills may save your life and maybe even someone else's life. Regretfully, I've had to do something similar to a friend of mine, but I was able to save her life by doing so."

"What happened to your friend that made you have to do what you did?" I ask curiously.

My father is silent for a minute before he explains in a shameful tone, "I ended up having to wipe her memory of me. It wasn't something I wanted to do, but it was the only way to save her; otherwise her mind would've burnt out, and she would've died. Of course, she's fine now, happily married...but without any memories of me nor our travels together. Her name was Donna Noble. She was brilliant; one of me best mates."

"So...you're gonna teach me how to delete memories from your head?" I say with a raised eyebrow. This plan sounds incredibly risky. Even if I've had prior experience with something like this (which I obviously haven't, but say I did), I wouldn't want to risk accidentally taking away an important memory, or worse all of them at once. I can't imagine what my father would be like without memories of who or what he is. I especially can't imagine him without any memories of me or my mother. Just the very thought makes both of my hearts ache.

"No," Dad shakes his head, and a wash of relief flows through me. "That's a bit too advanced for you at the moment. Today, I'm going to teach you how to get inside my head, and I'm going to share with you some personal memories of my choosing. These particular memories will give you a better understanding of why there are so many secrets between your mother and I."

"I don't really understand the whole 'spoiler' thing you've got going on with her," I admit apologetically. "Also, I get the feeling your lives aren't exactly...normal; like, you guys aren't like normal couples, where one person knows everything there is to know about the other, and vice versa. In your case, you meet her, or she meets you, and she either knows much about you or very little. In other words, your timelines aren't parallel like most couples', especially with you guys being time-travelers."

"You are absolutely right," he nods before he explains, "See, your mother and I don't meet in the right order, so every time we meet, we have to compare diaries to see where we are in our timelines, of course without giving too much info away, hence the term 'spoilers.' Most times, she lists a place she says we've been together, but I haven't actually been there with her yet; and sometimes it's vice versa with her, where I list something we've done, but she hasn't done it yet. So we must be careful not to give away too many details, otherwise we end up accidentally changing our personal futures, especially specific futures that are fixed. Too much foreknowledge can be dangerous. You understand now?"

"Kinda," I shrug. "Still not fully, though."

"You will once I show you my memories," he assures me. "Well, there's one memory in particular that I want you to see; though I'll warn you, it may be a bit disturbing to you, but you have a right to know."

"What kind of memory is it?" I ask. "I'm not about to witness someone's death, am I?" Just the very thought makes me giddy with nervousness.

"You'll see," he sighs sadly, confirming my suspicions. "Don't be afraid. I'm going to be in there with you the whole time. You won't be alone. Once we're inside my head, just take my hand. I'll guide you."

"Um...what exactly am I going to see once I enter your mind?" I ask, my nervousness gradually increasing. "Are we gonna be entering straight into the memory, or are we gonna have to look for it ourselves? I mean, a thousand years of memory is a lot." If this is true, it's going to take a hell of a long time to find that specific memory.

"Don't worry," Dad smiles in an assuring manner, "I've spent centuries trying to organize all of my memories. Imagine a hotel with many floors and rooms, except every individual room is a specific memory that you can walk into."

"Is that what I'll be seeing in your head?" I ask curiously.

"Yes," he nods. "I'll give you the grand tour once we're inside." He then twists his body around to face me and scoots a few inches closer to me. "Place your fingertips on my temples."

"Uh...okay," I say uncertainly, feeling slightly uncomfortable with my father being this close to my face. I do as he says anyway, thinking to myself, this won't be creepy at all. "Are you sure about this?" I ask hesitantly as he reaches up to adjust my hands' positions on either side of his forehead. "What if I accidentally discover a memory I'm not allowed to see?"

"Don't worry," he says. "Most of my memories are locked behind certain doors unless I personally unlock them. This is a good defense mechanism for when someone tries to take over my mind and access certain memories to gain information from me. This is another lesson for another day when you're stronger."

"Okay," I sigh, feeling immensely awkward at the seemingly intimate way I am touching my father's face. "What do I do now?"

"Close your eyes and imagine your consciousness entering my mind," he instructs me.

"Right," I say, nodding like I totally understand what he's talking about, even though I don't. "Uh, how do I do that?"

"It's actually not that difficult," he says in an assuring manner. "Just picture yourself being transported into my head. Use our telepathic link to help you. I'll guide you the rest of the way, but you must take the first step. Don't be afraid. Being afraid prevents you from focusing."

"Okay," I say, still feeling uncertain about this, but at this point I feel like there's no harm in trying...I hope. "I think I can do this."

"You can do this," Dad says in an encouraging tone. "Just relax." He then leans in to connect foreheads with me as a way to strengthen our telepathic link, and I take this opportunity to do what he says.

Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes and imagine myself entering my father's mind—rather, the lobby of a hotel. In seconds, the image of a hotel lobby emerges, with my father standing right in the middle of it. He holds his arms out to catch me as I clumsily stumble into him.

"There you go; I've got you," he says as he holds me up, helping me back on my feet. "Well done. You did it. That wasn't do hard, was it?"

Once I'm able to stand properly, I look around the partially familiar space around us. "Where are we?" I ask as I hesitantly slide my foot across the tiled floor, and I'm surprised to find it solid, like we've teleported right into the real hotel's lobby; although, there are no other people in the lobby but us.

"Technically, we're still in the TARDIS library," Dad says as he releases me but keeps a firm grip of my hand, "but now you're inside my head. I designed it like the Savoy Hotel lobby in London. Brilliant place to visit if you haven't."

"I think Haze and I walked past the hotel at one point," I admit, recognizing the name, "but we never went inside."

"That's quite alright," he assures me, "there's still time. Come over here." He then pulls me over to the reception desk (with no receptionist) and takes a brochure off the desk and hands it to me. "This is brilliant!" he grins like a child being proud of his masterpiece that he had created for his parent—or daughter, in his case.

I silently look through the brochure, and I'm surprised to discover that this isn't an ordinary brochure. This one shows a long list of things listed by number on each page. Some examples are "dates with River Song," names of different planets, etc.

Suddenly, one particular list catches my eye. "'Nova,'" I say in shock. "That's me, right; I mean, memories of me?"

"Yes," Dad says with a smile. "Would you like to see some?"

"Sure," I say uncertainly before I attempt to place the brochure back on the desk, but Dad stops me.

"Bring that with you and come with me," he says as he pulls me toward the elevators at the other end of the lobby. He pushes the 'up' button, and a second later there is a loud ding as the elevator doors open. We enter the small space as the doors close. "Push the button to the floor," he says, gesturing around the elevator's interior, showing thousands—maybe millions—of buttons covering the walls, including the ceiling.

"Whoa!" I say in shock. "So many floors! How many are there?"

"Loads," he says. "That's all I'm gonna tell you. Even I don't know how many there truly are. I lost patience by about Floor 1536."

I laugh. "Okay, so there are over fifteen-hundred floors. Good to know." Logically, I don't think such a building that tall should exist, at least on Earth. Then again, this is my father's mind, so logic doesn't apply here. I wouldn't be surprised if I see a tap-dancing antelope somewhere in here, as ridiculous as that sounds. I then say, looking at the brochure again, "Anyway, this says the memories of me are on Floor 34. This one!" I push the button that corresponds with Floor 34, which is on the top right corner to the left of the doors. The elevator then starts lifting us to the floor.

A few minutes later, we reach the floor and exit the elevator. We enter a long hallway with an undetermined number of doors that lead into guest rooms, like the floor of a typical hotel, except this floor seems to go on forever. I squint down the hall to see if I can see the end, but all I see is a white mist.

"Look at the brochure again," Dad says as the elevator doors close behind us. "What room stands out to you?"

I glance down at the brochure to find that it has suddenly changed slightly. It still lists things by number, but this time it lists specific events that had happened in my own life, the numbers representing specific 'guest rooms' instead of floors. There appear to be over fifty of them, which legitimately surprises me. Apparently my father has been to several events that I didn't even know he was there for, many of which were school concerts.

"'May It Be?'" I say, reading one of the things listed. "'May it be' what? Room 27." I walk down the hall, still gripping Dad's hand, following the room numbers to Room 27, my curiosity reaching its peak. When we get there, I suddenly hear a familiar voice—my own voice—singing on the other side, and then I remember. "Oh yeah! That was when my school orchestra played all Enya songs. They asked me to come in and sing with them. That was a really fun night; my first solo concert, actually. I used to listen to Enya all the time. Her voice inspired me to become a singer."

"Would you like to go in?" Dad asks in a tone like he already knows the answer.

"Yeah!" I say excitedly as I attempt to push the door open, but it doesn't budge at first. I frown in confusion, and then a second later the door unlocks magically.

"I told you," Dad says, "you can't just break into my memories. Only I can unlock them. My head; my rules." I roll my eyes at him before I push the door open and enter the room.

Rather, we enter the school auditorium, where we see many people sitting in the audience, but my eyes are immediately drawn to the familiar girl on stage—me—dressed in a sparkly gold dress, singing with the orchestra playing behind her. As we move closer to the stage along the side of the audience, I listen to myself singing "May It Be" by Enya, a beautiful song from my favorite trilogy, The Lord of the Rings. I hum to the tune as I listen.

'May it be an evening star
Shines down upon you.
May it be when darkness falls,
Your heart will be true.
You walk a lonely road.
Oh, how far you are from home.'

"Wow!" I say, genuinely impressed with myself. "I actually sound really good! I never realized that! I mean, people often told me that, but I never really thought much about it." Until now.

"Yes," Dad says, equally impressed. "You sang very well that night."

"I see my parents over there..." I say, pointing to the audience in the front row. "I mean my guardians." I then spot a familiar curly-haired woman sitting three rows behind my guardians, and I point again. "Wait...I think that's River there... Yes, that is her! And look, there you are next to her! I didn't know you guys were there!" Both of them are dressed formally, River in a sparkly green dress, and my father in a white tux.

"Yes," he says again with a smile. "We've attended every single concert of yours since the beginning. We've been much closer to you than you think."

His last words suddenly make me think of the Silence in the alley, but I immediately put that thought to the back of my mind. Instead, I think about how much my father's words genuinely shock me. I realize that he has way more memories of me than I originally thought. I didn't think he would have many memories of me, but he clearly does. This seems to be more proof that he has cared for me since the beginning and has never wanted to leave me.

I look back through the brochure at the other memories listed. Another catches my eye. "'Night of Adoption.' That must've been difficult for you."

"Yes, it was," he says sadly, and I suddenly catch a small tear tracing its way down his cheek as he looks up at me from up on the stage as I continue singing.

'May it be the shadow's call will fly away.
May it be your journey on to light the day.
When the night is overcome,
You may rise to find the sun.'

"That's another memory I'd like to show you," he says as he gestures for me to exit the auditorium with him, "if you don't mind."

"Okay," I nod as I let him lead me away from the stage to the back of the auditorium where we entered. I listen to myself sing the last bit of the song as we exit.

'Mornië utúlië.
Believe and you will find your way.
Mornië alantië.
A promise lives within you now.'

Once we're back in the hotel corridor, my father closes the door, and it locks with a small click. "This way," he says as he leads me back down the corridor toward the elevator.

"That song..." I ask curiously as we walk. "Why is it so special to you?"

"It's one that I deeply relate to," he answers in a somewhat sad tone.

"How so?" I ask.

I think back through the lyrics to see if I can answer my own question. When darkness falls (i.e. when there is deadly danger somewhere in the universe), the Doctor's hearts remain bright to overcome (i.e. defeat) said 'darkness.' He 'walks a lonely road' as the last surviving Time Lord, travelling far across the universe away from home—a home he will never be able to return to. Shadows (i.e. the Doctor's enemies) 'fly away' in fear at the mere sight of him, yet he 'journeys on,' trailing hope behind him.

But there is something else. Something more...

A promise.

"A promise lives within you, doesn't it?" I say. "That's the real thing that makes this song so special. What is that promise?"

Dad stops walking and sighs, shaking his head sadly. After a minute, he turns to me with tearful eyes and whispers, "To never be cruel. To never be cowardly. To never give up...and to never give in."

Wow... How do I even respond to something so deep, so profound? I can't think of a single thing to say. I am completely and utterly speechless.

"Here," he gestures to a room next to us that is labeled '3.' He approaches the door, and there is another small click as the door magically unlocks. Gripping my hand ever more tightly, he pulls me inside with him, and we enter the TARDIS library again, which confuses me instantly.

"Wait, we're back in the library again," I say, frowning. "Did we wake up or something?" I pinch myself to make sure, but strangely I feel no pain.

"No, we're still inside my head," Dad shakes his head. "This is another memory, which happens to take place in the TARDIS library. Come, the real memory is this way." He continues pulling me along, and this time I recognize where we're going.

"We went this way earlier," I point out. "This leads to where we're sitting right now." Deep down, this has been a particular memory I've wanted to see for a while, but I hadn't had the courage to ask about it until now. I suddenly pause in my tracks when I see someone sitting on the same couch as we're sitting on in real life. "Wait... Who's that, sitting over there?" The figure appears to be a man holding a small white bundle in his arms. After we approach the figure, I immediately recognize him as my own father. "Oh, that's you!" I then frown at the small bundle he is cradling. "What's that you're holding?"

"Go on and see for yourself," Dad says as he releases my hand and ushers me closer. "It may surprise you." I glance at him hesitantly. "Don't worry, you won't disrupt the memory if you get too close. He can't see us; this is just a memory. Though you may want to stay back a bit so you can see the whole picture."

"I'm alright," I shake my head as I sit beside Memory-Doctor and lean over his shoulder at the bundle in his arms. I gasp when I finally realize what is inside the bundle. "Aw, you're holding a baby. That's adorable." I then pause, realizing who the baby is. "Wait... Is this baby...?"

"Yes," Dad nods. "That baby is you."

I stare in shock at the small, sleeping infant in Memory-Doctor's arms. "Oh my god...she's me." I can't believe I am staring at myself. I never even thought this would be possible, even if this was just a memory.

"Don't worry," Dad speaks up, having sensed my thoughts, "you'll get used to it. I've run into my past selves on more than one occasion. Perhaps that'll happen to you someday, several regenerations down the line."

"Yeah, depending on how many I really have," I scoff under my breath. Even if I could regenerate properly with a different face (which, at the moment, I can't), I can imagine our meeting to be very bizarre. Having two or more mes in one place and time, coming from different places and times—how weird would that be?

Shaking away the strange image, I glance up at my memory-father's face. "You look so sad," I say with a frown when I see his eyes watery, like he's about to cry.

"I am," Dad says dolefully as he takes a small step toward his memory-self. "I mean, I was. This was the night your mother and I gave you up. Obviously we haven't given you up yet...but we're about to, very shortly."

"Where is she, anyway?" I ask, looking around curiously, surprised that she's not here. "I thought she'd be with you, especially since this is your las—"

'Sweetie...'

The unexpected sound of my mother's voice startles me almost off the couch. "Mom?" I say uncertainly as I see her emerge from around a bookshelf. I stand up, excited to see her. "Mom! You're here!" I begin running to her, but my father abruptly grabs my arm and pulls me back, a somber look in his eyes. "What?" I ask, frowning in confusion.

"That's not your real mother," he says apologetically. "She's just part of the memory. She can't see us either."

"Oh," I say disappointedly as I watch her approach my memory-father and sit down beside him. I watch their interaction in silence.

'Honey,' she says calmly as she wraps her arms around her husband and looks down on her infant daughter in his arms, 'we're almost to Stilwell. You should've brought her to the Control Room by now.'

'I know, River, I know,' Memory-Doctor sighs sadly, never taking his eyes off Baby Me. 'I'm sorry, I just...' He struggles to speak, his voice shaky as he also struggles to fight back tears. 'I would like some more time with her. Just a few more minutes with her... Alone. Please.' He cradles Baby Me closer to his chest, like nothing in the universe, not even his wife, can take me away from him. If only that were true...

'Of course, my love,' Mom smiles, which appears to be forced, as she runs her fingers lightly through his hair. She then kisses his cheek gently with a whisper, 'Meet me in the Control Room when you're ready.' She then bends over and kisses Baby Me on the top of my head before she stands up and leaves her husband, and new father, alone once more. If only he could've been a father—a proper father—for much longer...

The moment Mom is out of sight and earshot, my memory-father begins to sob uncontrollably, cradling Baby Me ever more tightly; and what's even stranger is that Baby Me starts crying too, proving our psychic link to be much more powerful than I originally thought. I'm about to be taken away from him, just like River (Melody) was taken away from Amelia Pond and Rory Williams. He doesn't know whether he'll ever see me again, much like how Amy and Rory felt about Melody. He fears he may never have any kind of social interaction with me, fearing he'd attract too much danger to us, which is why he plans for River to watch over me instead. Sure, it's not the same as properly raising her—their—child, but it's the closest that she would ever get. Unfortunately, this is the only way. The only way to keep me safe from them—the Silence. Forever.

I am suddenly overwhelmed with these emotions, and I begin sobbing as well, feeling both hearts break in two. I squeeze my eyes tightly shut, struggling to force the emotions back, only to fail miserably.

"Nova?" Dad asks in a concerned tone. "Nova, are you alright?"

I suddenly flinch when I feel a hand on my cheek, urging me to open my eyes. I open them to see my father's concerned face, my hands still on his temples, squeezing hard. I pull my hands away awkwardly as I ask with a frown, "What happened?" I glance around us and see that we're still sitting on the couch in the TARDIS library, except I'm sitting where my father was sitting in the memory. I even pinch myself, and I wince when I actually feel pain this time.

"You lost focus," he explains, "therefore, you disconnected from my mind. We're back in the real TARDIS library now."

I sigh, suddenly feeling embarrassed. "I'm sorry," I say, burying my face in my hands.

"It's alright," he assures me. "Not bad for a first try. Come here." He then pulls me into his arms and hugs me tightly, holding my head against his chest to listen to his hearts, a sound that which greatly calms me. "It's okay, Nova, you did well. Surprisingly well, in fact. Your mind is much stronger than I expected. Through our psychic link, even in the memory, I could sense that you could not only sense people's thoughts but also people's feelings, which means that you are not only a telepath but also an empath. Not many Time Lords were known to be both telepathic and empathic. Your mind in particular, Nova, is extremely rare for a Time Lord, especially one at your age."

"I must get my empathic side from Mom," I wonder aloud.

"Yes, I'd have to agree with you there," he chuckles. "Humans are known to be very empathic, with Time Lords, not so much. You are mostly Time Lord, Nova, but there is also a small percentage of human in you, which you get from your mum, what with her being half-human. You get your empathy from both your mum and grandmum."

"Amy," I say, the name suddenly popping into my memory. "Or rather Amelia."

Dad frowns. "Yes, Amelia. How did you know that name? I don't recall ever telling you about your grandparents, particularly their names."

"You were thinking about her in the memory," I explain. "You thought about what Amy and her husband, Rory, must've felt after their daughter—Mom—was stolen away from them. You remembered their fear of never seeing their baby again, and you were feeling the same about me in the memory. You were worried that you'd never be able to have any physical interaction with me ever in my life, fearing you'd attract too much danger to us. You were planning to have River watch over me instead, even though that was the closest that she would ever get to raising me."

Dad is silent for a minute as he recalls the memory. "Yes. I actually did think about that now that I remember. It's surprising that you could sense even what my memory-self was thinking and feeling. That must've been why you lost focus."

"It scared me," I say, nodding. "I didn't know I could do something like that, just like I didn't know I could shoot energy out of my hands like Iron Man."

"Your telepathic abilities are much more mysterious than I anticipated," he admits in a way like he can't decide whether to be concerned or not.

"Is that a good thing or bad thing?" I ask, raising a worried eyebrow at him. From the tone in his voice, it gives me the disturbing impression that it could be a bad thing.

"Let's just say they'll be interesting to explore," he says in a tone like I shouldn't worry about it, even though we may have to later. "I'm anxious to find out what else you could be capable of."

"I'm not even sure I want to find out," I admit nervously. "I mean, some of the things I've already done..." Everybody knows shooting energy out of one's hands is nowhere close to normal. And then there are the so-called 'experiments' on me that the Silence mentioned, whatever those are. Perhaps the 'shooting balls of energy' thing is one of the results of those said 'experiments.'

"It's alright, Nova," Dad says, rubbing his hand up and down my arms assuringly, "we're not going to explore them all right now. In fact, I think we should call it a day. You're still weak, even after that experience in my head. You should get back to your room and rest—properly, this time."

I shake my head, pulling out of his embrace. "No, I'm alright, really. I just got a little emotional, that's all. That was only my first time. I'll do better next time. Come on, let me try again." I turn to face him and place my fingertips on his temples again. "Besides, I get the feeling that last memory wasn't the memory you originally wanted to show me. Am I right?" Something tells me the memory he originally planned to show me has to do with a dark secret that he would normally not show anyone, not even my mother, which makes me all the more anxious, but also terrified at the same time, to find out.

"I don't know, Nova," he says hesitantly. "I warned you that it may be a bit disturbing for you to see."

"But you also said that I had a right to know about it, no matter how disturbing it is to me," I argue. "You said it would help me to better understand the whole 'spoiler' thing between you and Mom. Don't worry, I can handle it. Please, show me. Let me try again."

After a minute of indecision, he finally sighs, giving in. "Alright." He then pulls my hands off his temples, saying, "If you 'get emotional' again, you won't break the connection, because I'll be the one in control this time. You just relax." He places his own hands on my temples this time. "Close your eyes and picture yourself entering my mind again. I'll pull you in the rest of the way."

"Are you sure you want to show me this memory, Dad?" I ask, sensing his nervousness through our link. "You seem a bit disturbed by the idea yourself."

"No, I'll be fine," he says, shaking his head. "I'm more worried about you."

"I'll be fine too," I smile. "Don't worry, Dad. We'll be in there together."

"Nova..." my father says, smiling back at me as he lowers one of his hands down to caress my cheek, "always so brave. My brave, beautiful baby girl." A small tear runs down his cheek.

"Not so much of a baby anymore," I chuckle as I wipe the tear away from his face. "I take after my dad...my real dad." In that moment, I suddenly sense his uncertainty as to whether I'm referring to him or the man who raised me. I clarify, chuckling, "I'm talking about you; you know that, right? You're my real dad; we're blood."

"Of course I knew you were talking about me," he says in an obvious tone, though there is still a small hint of uncertainty in there as well. "I...just wanted to make sure that you knew you were talking about me."

I frown incredulously at him. "Um...of course I was. I mean, I was thinking of my other dad as well, but you're the first. The original."

"Ha!" he chuckles loudly. After a few seconds, he says seriously, straightening his body and lifting his hand back to my temple, "You ready?"

I sigh nervously. "Not really, but I want to get this over with; so sure." I'm not remotely looking forward to seeing this memory of his, as disturbing as he says it is, but the sooner we see it, the sooner we can move on from it. Though, in the Doctor's case, this wasn't, and still isn't, something he could easily move on from. I doubt I'll have better luck with it myself.

"Alright," he nods slowly. "Just close your eyes and relax. I'll pull you in this time." He closes his eyes, and I do the same.

Like before, I imagine myself entering his mind and into the Savoy Hotel lobby again, but instead, I enter a dark place with large computer server-like structures and wires hanging everywhere from the servers and ceiling. I feel my father slide his fingers through mine and grip my hand tightly in his own.

"Where are we?" I ask, looking around the unfamiliar space. "Where's the hotel?"

"I decided to take us straight inside the memory, rather than look for it ourselves," Dad explains. "That way we can be in and out quickly. Like I said before, this isn't exactly a pleasant memory to relive, especially for me." After he says this, his grip on my hand tightens.

"Why?" I ask nervously. "What is this place?"

"This is the Library," he says with a hint of contempt in his voice, like the name haunts him. "Specifically, the core of the Library."

"The core?" I ask, puzzled. "I don't understand. Is this still part of the TARDIS library?"

"No," Dad shakes his head. "The Library is a planet. It's where your mother went on an archaeological expedition. Her last archaeological expedition."

"'Last?'" I ask with a frown. "What do you mean, 'last?'" Something tells me he's not using the form of 'last' as in 'the last trip before retirement;' rather, the other more disturbing form of 'last.'

I suddenly feel his anxiousness to leave this godforsaken place through our link, but at the same time he doesn't want to leave, knowing how important this memory is for me to know. This makes me all the more terrified to find out what I'm fated to see shortly. "You'll see," he says, gripping my hand so tightly that it hurts, but I don't let it show. "Come, it's just around this corner."

He pulls me around the corner, and I stumble on my feet as I almost step on top of a body in a blue pinstriped suit lying on the floor, strangely handcuffed to a pole. "Whoa!" I say in shock. "Who's that man? Is he dead? What happened to him? Should we help? Also, why the heck is he handcuffed?" I bend over in an attempt to help the man, but my father pulls me back again. I frown at him in the same way as I did before.

"Nova," he says in a serious tone. "Remember what I said earlier? This is just a memory. Nothing here is real. No one can see us. We can't interact with anyone or anything in a memory."

"What happened to him?" I ask, my anxiety and hearts-rate increasing. "Who is he?"

"He's me," Dad admits, staring apprehensively down on the body on the floor.

"You?" I say, frowning incredulously at him. "Um, he looks nothing like you." This guy's hair is spiky, whereas my father's hair is matted and floppy.

"He's another me," he explains with a sigh. "From a past regeneration."

"Oh," I say, mentally chastising myself for missing the painfully obvious. "I should've known." He must've been what Dad looked like previously, literally one life ago, before he donned the baby-face I know now.

"And he's fine," he assures me. "Just unconscious." He says it seemingly like there's absolutely nothing wrong with that, and I can't help but think, Dude, are you insane?!

"In what universe is 'unconscious' fine?" I say, frowning at the complete and utter lack of logic of his words. "That's terrible! What did that to you?"

"Better question is 'who did this to me?' The answer is right over there." He points to a chair about fifteen feet away from the unconscious past Doctor, and I instantly recognize the person sitting in it.

"Oh my god, it's Mom!" I say in shock. "What's she doing?" She appears to be plugging herself into one of the larger servers, surrounded by wires. There is even a voice in the background, counting down along with a timer on a nearby screen.

"Hush now, Nova," Dad says as we see his past self, whose face I now recognize as the man depicted in the photos from the folder on Clive's website's gallery labeled '10,' slowly regain consciousness. "You're about to see what happens. Pay attention; this is important." He wraps his arms around me in comfort, but it's more for himself than me.

"Okay," I say nervously as I watch the scene unfold before our eyes.

'Oh, no, no. What are you doing? That's my job!'

'Oh, and I'm not allowed to have a career, I suppose.'

'Why am I handcuffed? Why do you even have handcuffs?'

'Spoilers.' That word again.

'This is not a joke! Stop this now! This is gonna kill you! I'd have a chance; you don't have any!'

'You wouldn't have a chance, and neither do I! I'm timing it for the end of the countdown. There'll be a blip in the command flow. That should improve our chances of a clean download.'

At this point, I'm starting to get a sense of what's about to happen; rather I get the sense from my father. I feel his body shaking out of fear and anxiety, and I wrap my arms tighter around him. He wants so desperately to stop her, but he can't, and not just because this is just a memory. He can never go back and change this event, because it's already happened for him, and it's set in stone for Mom, so it can't be changed for her either. I can feel my eyes welling up with tears, the more I watch this unchangeable event.

"It's alright, Nova," Dad says, pulling me closer, "just keep watching. It's almost over." Even his voice is shaky, like he's struggling to fight back his own tears. Honestly, I don't blame him. If we're about to see what I think we're about to see...

The conversation between Mom and my father's past incarnation continues, the tension between them gradually escalating.

'River, please! No!'

'Funny thing is this means you've always known how I was going to die. All the time we've been together you knew I was coming here. The last time I saw you—the real you, the future you, I mean—you turned up on my doorstep with a new haircut and a suit. You took me to Darillium. To see the Singing Towers. What a night that was. The towers sang, and you cried. You wouldn't tell me why, but I suppose you knew it was time. My time. Time to come to the Library. You even gave me your screwdriver. That should have been a clue. There's nothing you can do.' She says this as the past Doctor reaches for their sonic screwdrivers. So Mom had her own screwdriver as well.

'Let me do this!'

'If you die here, it'll mean I've never met you!'

'Time can be rewritten!'

'Not those times, not one line. Don't you dare! It's okay. It's okay. It's not over for you. You'll see me again. You've got all of that to come. You and me. Time and space. You watch us run!' Hearing these words from my own mother brings more tears to my eyes. I bury my face in Dad's chest as the memory concludes.

'River, you know my name. You whispered my name in my ear. There's only one way I would ever tell anyone my name. There's only one time I could.'

'Hush now. Spoilers.'

The world suddenly flashes white in that moment. I bury my face deeper in my father's chest to shield myself, as well as to hide from the disturbing sight. A few seconds later, I feel Dad release my temples. Breathless, I open my eyes to find us back in the TARDIS library. I glance to my father and see him rubbing his eyes vigorously, in tears.

"What happened?" I ask, frowning in confusion, knowing I wasn't the one who lost focus this time; rather, he did. "Dad? What happened to Mom? Where is she? What did she just do?" Did we just see her...?

No! We couldn't have! That's impossible!

He abruptly reaches out to me and wraps his arms around me, burying his face in my shoulder. "I'm sorry..." he sobs in the side of my neck. "I'm so sorry you had to see that. Your mother... My love..."

I rub my hands up and down his back, uncertain as to what we just saw. "Um...I'm not exactly sure what I saw. Can you...uh...can you explain what happened back there?" After another minute of my father's uncontrollable sobbing, I say awkwardly, "Or you can tell me later, when you're...less upset."

"No," he sniffles, pulling away slightly and wiping his nose on his shirt sleeve. "I'll tell you now." I attempt to pull away myself, but he wraps his arms around me, holding me tighter against him. "No, stay close to me."

"I wasn't going anywhere," I shake my head, pivoting myself where I'm more comfortable in his freakishly tight embrace. Any tighter, and he might end up cracking one of my ribs. "I was just gonna give myself more breathing room, that's all. You're squeezing me a bit too tightly."

"Sorry," he says as he gently loosens his hold on me, though it's still too tight for my comfort.

"It's okay," I say as I lean against him as he swings my legs over his where I'm almost sitting in his lap. "So...what happened?"

"What you just witnessed..." he struggles to explain. "It was... Again, I'm sorry you had to see it. I needed to show you. It was the only memory I could think of to help you understand."

"We saw Mom's death, didn't we?" I say in a disturbed tone. "That's what you're trying to tell me? That light... That was when...?" I don't even want to think about it; it's just too horrible.

"Yes," Dad sighs as another tear slides down his cheek. "She did it to save me. She did it to save many people—4022 people, to be exact."

"Oh my god..." I say in shock, not from the large number of people she saved but from the fact that she was willing to give her life to save all those people, which is something I don't think I'll ever have the courage to do.

"It should've been me," Dad says, sobbing again. "It should've been me who did it, not her."

"Dad, no!" I frown at him, reaching up to turn his face towards me and brush his cheek. "You wouldn't be here today if you had. Nor would I. It was always meant to be her." Mom gave her life to save him as well—her husband, or soon-to-be husband (as well as soon-to-be father) from the younger Doctor's point of view.

"You're right," he sighs, nodding after a minute.

"Though, what I don't understand is how I can still be here if she died," I say, suddenly frowning in confusion. If Mom died, taking Dad's place, how come I exist? Perhaps Mom appeared to have died there, and she survived somehow. How else would she still be around today, for that matter?

"That hasn't happened to her yet," Dad says, shaking his head apologetically, admitting my theory to be false. "What you saw, that was in her future. My past."

"So that's still to happen for her?" I ask, still legitimately confused.

"Yes," he nods. "It's a fixed point in Time."

"So it's something that can't be prevented or changed?"

"No. What you saw is set in stone. Nothing about the event can be changed. Not one line, like she said."

No, I think, shaking my head, I don't believe that. I can't!

"Surely there must be something we can do to prevent it," I say, not believing for one second that this will be the end for my mother. "Anything!"

"I'm sorry, Nova. There isn't. There's nothing that can be done to save her." He lays his head on top of mine, his tight hold on me increasing, like we've already lost her—his wife, my mother—and I'm the only person in the entire universe that he has left, and he'd be damned if he lost me too. I wrap my own arms tighter around him in response to show him he's not completely alone.

We remain silent for a minute before I speak up curiously. "Does she know? Does she know you've seen her death?"

"Yes and no," Dad explains. "She does know I've seen her death, but she doesn't know any details of where, when, or how it happens. You heard her say that I always knew she'd go there, how she'd die. She's known for a while, for most of the time we've known each other. But I can't tell her anything. Not one thing."

"So that's where the term comes from?" I say, finally understanding the significance of the one word I've heard so many times and will probably never stop hearing. "That event was where it all started—well, where it started for you?"

"Yes," he nods slowly, running his fingers lightly through my frizzy hair. "Now you understand why there are so many secrets between us, such as that one; why there can be no spoilers."

"I do now," I nod. In fact, I've known since the beginning. Ever since I met my parents in person, I always sensed that there was something not right about them. Obviously not 'not right' as in 'these people are child predators—or worse, Silence members—who shouldn't be trusted,' but 'not right' as in 'these people are not normal, with dark secrets that they cannot tell even each other, because of spoilers.' Their lives are back-to-front; his firsts are her lasts, and vice versa. He knows what happens in her future, and she knows what happens in his future, but they cannot tell each other about them. Not ever. Like Dad said, foreknowledge is dangerous.

I hug my father tighter, sensing his sadness and guilt. "That must've been horrible to watch." Of course it was! He'd seen his wife die, and there's nothing he can do to stop it! I'd just seen my mother die...well, a memory of it, but it still happened—happens—nonetheless!

"It was," he sniffles. "It would've hurt much more, had I known her better. It especially hurts to watch now."

"I could tell," I nod. "You were shaking the whole time." I can still feel him shaking now.

Suddenly thinking back on the memory of my mother's death, I wonder if my mother has a similar memory of her own. Perhaps she knows how, where, and when my father dies.

"I believe so," he speaks up in a whisper.

"What?" I frown, puzzled, not having expected him to respond to my personal thoughts. I keep forgetting that we're telepathically linked; therefore, he can sense every thought that pops into my head. Honestly, I wish we weren't, at least all the time.

"I believe she does know how, where, and when I will finally die, since I've seen hers," he clarifies.

"Do you believe that place you mentioned in that prophecy—Trendy Lore, or whatever it was—is where you're destined to die?" I ask curiously.

"Trenzalore," Dad corrects me. "And yes, I believe so. Apparently, they say I will fall when I answer 'the oldest question in the universe, hidden in plain sight.' I told you what the question was four days prior."

"'Doctor who?'" I nod. "Yeah, I remember. Mom said it, actually." I then pause. "Wait! Does that make you 'the Eleventh' then? How exactly are you 'the Eleventh?'"

"You already know the answer to that, Nova. You've seen my past self in the memory. He wasn't the only face I've had previously. I've had eleven other faces before this one—faces I have yet to show you images of. Well, ten others."

I don't tell him that I've already seen said images of his other faces from that website I found back in high school, and I actually still have those printed copies in my suitcase as we speak (needless to say, I still have yet to figure out who deleted all that stuff off the Internet and why they did it; not that it matters, but I'm still curious). Instead of telling him this, I say with a frown, "That wouldn't make you the eleventh. That would make you the twelfth."

"Well, there was a past incarnation of mine who didn't go by the name 'the Doctor,'" he explains. "And then there was a time when my previous self regenerated and kept the same face—long story. My point is, there are no other Doctors after me. There can only be twelve regenerations—thirteen Doctors, and no more. I am the last one. The last Doctor that there will ever be. I can no longer regenerate because I've used up all twelve regenerations; this is my thirteenth and final body. So when I die, that's it. I'll stay dead, and there's nothing to be done about it, nothing that can be done to change it."

Just like Mom, apparently, I think but do not say. From her point of view, she gave up her remaining regenerations long ago, which would explain why she just died in that chair rather than regenerate.

But for Dad, it's different. He may not be able to regenerate anymore, but surely he can still be saved. "But I saved you," I point out, remembering the pirate incident back on what was left of Contraxia. "You died, and I brought you back to life with my energy. Who says I won't be able to save you if you die again on Trendy Lore—Trenzalore? You die, I'll just use my energy on you again, no problem." Surely his fate on Trenzalore isn't a fixed point like Mom's fate at the Library planet is. That means he has a chance to be saved, right?

"I don't know, Nova," he sighs sadly. "You may not be there with me. I may end up having to go it alone."

"No, you won't," I say confidently, shaking my head. "I'll make sure to be there with you. So will Mom. Together, we'll find a way to save you. We love you too much to let you go." He's a fool to think we won't be there for him, to see him at his final resting place.

"Ah Nova..." he says with a smile, hugging me. "What did I ever do to deserve you as a daughter?" He kisses me lovingly on my forehead.

"Absolutely everything," I smile back at him. "You've always been there for me, and now I've finally seen that. And now, I'll always be there for you. You and Mom." I don't remember seeing myself in the memory—perhaps I was there, just in another part of the planet, and I wasn't quick enough to be on sight—and I make a vow to myself to change that. I'm not going to let Mom die without both her husband (even if it's one who doesn't know her) and myself there. Dad and I love her too much to let her go.

We spend a few more minutes cuddling in each other's arms on the couch in silence, listening to the crackling of the fireplace nearby. Unexpectedly, Dad decides to ruin the tranquil moment, saying sternly, "Alright. You, young lady—bed. Now. Doctor's orders. I'm not going to ask you again."

I sigh, rolling my eyes. Wow, what a buzzkill. "Or what; you'll ground me for a month?" Somehow, I doubt he actually would.

"Uh...something like that," he says with a hint of hesitancy in his voice, "or possibly something much worse. Now off you go. Don't make me force you to sleep. Believe it or not, that's another psychic ability Time Lords have, and I won't hesitate to use it on my own daughter." That last bit, I know, he's serious about; I can sense it through our psychic link. Though it honestly shocks me that that is a legit Time Lord ability—even for me—it makes me a tad nervous, regardless.

"Fine," I groan loudly. I then rise from the couch, but not before kissing Dad's cheek and saying, "'Night, Dad. Love ya!"

"I love you too," he says with a smile, giving me one last hug. "If you're good, I'll take you on another adventure, this time to the past."

"You got yourself a deal!" I say excitedly, now feeling more motivated to actually do as he says. Though at the same time, I get the sense he's going to do as he promises anyway; no doubt he'd received a distress call earlier from said time. "Maybe don't die this time, yeah? Especially if we're going to those coordinates the pirate gave us."

"We may not go there," he shakes his head, "but I may send your mother there to check the place out. If your guardians truly are at those coordinates, she'll let us know."

My mother, I think despondently; particularly, a version of her who doesn't have a clue what awaits her at the Library, which is something she can never know until the day it happens.

And I plan to be there, no matter what, even if I can't change it.

"I hope so," I nod, not wanting to think about her fate anymore. "I'm anxious to save them." I then shrug. "Anyway, I think I can find my way back on my own; or if not Idris will help me. Catch ya later, Dad!"

"Goodnight, my Nova," he calls back to me as I exit the TARDIS library.

The moment I get in bed—several minutes later, as I actually did get lost and had to have Idris help me find my way back, after all (ugh, why didn't I have Dad come back with me?)—I scroll through my photos in my phone of my guardians and Hazel. "Don't worry," I tell them through the phone screen. "Dad and I may have finally found your location, and he's gonna send Mom to find you. Once she does, we'll finally be reunited, and I'll make sure the Silence never touch you again. I'll make sure they never touch any of you again, including my bio-mom and dad. They killed him twice—once when my mom kissed him with poisonous lipstick when she was still loyal to the Silence, and the other time recently with the pirates—and I'll make sure they never do it again. They messed with the wrong family, and this'll be the last time they ever do."

I kiss the phone screen, exactly like how I would imagine kissing them in person, before I set it on my bedside table, turn off the light, and lull myself to sleep.

Chapter Text

The sounds of turning dials and clicking on keyboards rouse me from unconsciousness, as well as an exceedingly bright light shining down on my face. Looking past the brightness, the image of hanging wires and cords gradually becomes clearer through the haze in my vision, a couple of which are attached to my temples in a very odd fashion. A man in a familiar military uniform glances at me for a second before he swiftly rises from his seat at a console and rushes into the darkness. Wincing in pain from a slight headache, I attempt to reach up to pull at the wires at my temples, only to discover that my wrists are stuck in place at my sides.

"What…" I frown in confusion at the large metallic cuffs attached to the table I am laying on. "How…" I tug roughly on the cuffs in an attempt to free myself, but the cuffs don't budge. I keep trying until I suddenly feel a sharp pain in my left wrist from the cuff having cut the sensitive skin. Despite the pain, I refuse to give up.

"Don't bother wasting your energy trying to break free," an all-too-familiar female voice slices through the silence like a knife. "Those cuffs are locked with a triple-deadlock seal—impenetrable to break through, even with a sonic screwdriver."

I glance over and spot her materializing out of the darkness, dressed in her usual black suit and iDrive attached to her right eye. Even after her own followers' betrayal when they electrocuted every single iDrive, including her own, in the aborted '5:02' timeline, it's a surprise to see her still wearing that thing over her eye—the very thing that killed her last time.

"Kovarian!" I growl, my hearts filled to the brim with contempt. "I should kill you!"

"Foolish girl!" she says, rolling her eyes (eye). "Did you not hear what I just said? You can't break through those handcuffs!" She sighs. "A hundred-and-fifty years later, and you still don't listen to your mummy!"

"You clearly underestimate my abilities," I snap back at her. "I've broken though many types of handcuffs during my time at Stormcage, even deadlocked ones. And you've never been my mother! My mother is one of the most caring people I've ever known. In fact, she has been, and still is, the only true mother who has ever loved me and has proven time and time again to do whatever it takes to protect me! All you've done is cause me constant pain and misery!" My words make me think back to how Amy protected me by killing Kovarian in the '5:02 world' and would more than likely do it again in our universe if given the chance. Of course she would. She's Amy.

Kovarian smirks in that devilish way that she always does. "That was my intention all along. Pain and misery, when heightened, eventually lead to anger, and we planned for you to use that anger as your primary weapon. Your anger made you more powerful than you could ever imagine."

"Keep talking, and you'll piss me off to the point of me breaking out of these bonds and blowing your brains out all over the floor in front of all of your followers!" I spit back at her, the temptation to do just that increasing the more her very presence lingers.

"Even if you could break out of those bonds," she says in a careless tone, "you wouldn't be able to kill me, no matter how hard you try."

"Try me!" I snap back. "I've proved you wrong multiple times before." My entire experience with her—the majority of it being hazy at best—she was always convinced that I would one day succeed in killing the Doctor. However, the joke ultimately ended up being on her because she never expected that I would, in fact, refuse to kill him instead; and on top of that, marrying him and having a daughter with him.

Kovarian pauses as if thinking about agreeing. "Perhaps I would…" She then shakes her head. "But I'm no fool. You've always thought of me as a fool, but you've never understood how clever I truly am." She then approaches me and leans in close to my face, and a wave of fear rushes through my body. "Of course, you don't remember this, but after we took you away at Demons Run, we planted a Neural Block in your head—a precautionary measure to ensure that you wouldn't be so naïve as to attempt to murder your own guardian. And, oh, have you tried on multiple occasions."

Her statement makes me smirk slightly as old memories rise to the surface. "Yes, that I remember clearly." The memory of when I was being taught how to use throwing stars flashes in my mind. At one point during the training session, for some reason I felt like throwing one of the stars at Kovarian, and despite having perfect aim at literally everything, I could never aim at Kovarian directly, only near her. I never understood why this always happened…at least until now.

"You may also remember that every time you've tried, you've never actually succeeded to physically harm me in any way," she says, like she read my mind. "Now, you must understand why, don't you?" I don't answer, not wanting to give her the satisfaction of knowing that I know the answer, so she continues, "Every time the Neural Block sensed you attempting to kill me, it triggered a message through your Nervous System that would command your body to stop. I knew you would be difficult to control, so I had to take precautions."

"You treated me like a lab rat," I growl in disgust, "and you plan to do the same exact thing to my daughter! My daughter! I will have you killed one way or another. Even if I can't kill you myself, I'll make sure you die either way!" My entire life, she's been treating me like a slave, controlling my every move; and now she plans to control Nova's life in the exact same way! I will not permit this, especially not to my own daughter!

Kovarian sighs, shaking her head. "You will no longer be in any position to be making threats toward me once I'm finished with you." She adjusts a dial on the control console that is hooked up to the machine that I am strapped to.

"Killing me won't accomplish anything," I snap. "Even if you genetically engineer someone else to kill the Doctor in my place, they'll fail just as I did! He can't be defeated!"

Kovarian smirks. "I never said anything about killing you, dearie. In fact, I knew you'd come. You're so predictable, 'River;' you and the Doctor both! No doubt the Doctor wouldn't allow your precious princess anywhere near us to rescue her precious little family, so he sent you instead, and that was his biggest mistake! Seeing as you failed to save them, in truth, he sent you back to us so that you could be reborn into the perfect psychopath you were meant to be since the beginning."

I shake my head, knowing that to be a total lie. The Doctor never sent me here; I sent myself here, against his and Nova's protests. Regretfully, looking back, that did end up being the greatest mistake of my life. I thought I would succeed in saving Nova's guardians, and I was so close, but I failed, hence how I must have ended up in this mess. Looking back, I should not have ignored the Doctor's message to not go inside the base alone when he sent me the coordinates to my psychic paper. I failed Nova, and I failed her human family, all because I was foolish into thinking that I could take down the Vokanari once and for all, all on my own. Now, I can see that there is no defeating them, certainly not alone. Not even an army would be enough to take them down. They've grown too powerful since Demons Run.

"No!" I scream at her. "You're lying! He would never! That's all you've ever done, is lie! You've lied to me about my parents, you've lied to me about the Doctor… Everything that comes out of your mouth is a lie!"

"Believe what you must," Kovarian shrugs. "None of it will matter once this is over." She then snaps her fingers, and a small group of soldiers, as well as tall, monstrous figures with bulbous heads and pinstriped suits, appears from the darkness around her. A soldier and bulbous-headed creature approach me, the soldier adjusting one of the wires at my temples.

"What are you going to do?" I ask, intense panic beginning to course through my veins. "And what are those things?" I say in fear, nodding to the tall creature that had accompanied the soldier.

Kovarian rolls her eyes (eye) again. "As I've said time and time again, they are your owners. And very soon they will own little Nova as well…with your help. You failed to kill the Doctor before, but she will not fail."

"I didn't fail to kill him; I refused!" I snap back. "Totally different! And I'll never help you! You leave my daughter out of this! She's done nothing to you, and she never will! She's just a child!"

"On the contrary," Kovarian shakes her head, "she will be our crowning jewel! She will be our salvation against the looming threat that the Time Lords have posed since the very dawn of Time! The Doctor is the key to their return, and she will be the one to destroy him to ensure that they never return! It is the very reason for which she was made! It is her destiny!"

"Not if I have anything to say about it!" I growl back at her. "The only way you'll get at my daughter is over my dead body!"

Kovarian sighs again, this time having enough. "Say what you will now. Like I said, none of it will matter once this is over."

"Once what is over?" I frown at her, my panic increasing. "And what the hell is that? No! Get away from me, whatever you are!" A tall, bulbous-headed creature (Wait! Didn't I see this thing before? How could I forget?) leans over me, its hollow face hovering just inches from my nose.

"You're in no position to be making demands, River," Kovarian taunts, shaking her head. "In a minute, you will be back under our control, and this time there will be no way to break free. I do not know how you managed to break free last time, but this time, no matter what you do, it will not work."

"As I've said before," I snap, this time keeping my full attention on the creature before me so as not to forget (how I managed to forget it before, I'll never know), "you underestimate me, Kovarian! I'm part-Time Lord. You can't control the mind of a Time Lord, no matter what percentage of Time Lord they are. They're too powerful even for your technology."

"That was true a long time ago, but we've upgraded since then," Kovarian admits—words that I never wanted to hear. "Once we activate this machine, it will send a shock to the Neural Block in your head that will make your brainwashing return indefinitely. Any and all commands given to you will be performed without choice, and we have made it so it will be impossible for you to resist. Perhaps this time you would actually succeed in killing the Doctor, but we think it would be much more amusing for you to watch your own daughter kill him instead. Consider this as punishment for 'refusing,' as you say, to kill him last time."

A flood of anger washes over me in that moment. "You psychotic, evil bitch! Why bother even telling me this?"

Kovarian sighs. "For the last time, none of it matters. In a minute, you will forget everything about this conversation. You will forget having tried to save your child's guardians. You will even forget the love you have for your husband and child. The only thing you will remember is the fact that you failed to defeat me yet again."

"No!" I exclaim angrily. "I won't give in to this! I will find a way to stop you once and for all!" She's a fool to think that she will ever get away with this, but she has absolutely no idea how much I've grown since Demons Run, how powerful I've become.

Kovarian shrugs carelessly. "Be that as it may. You won't remember having said those words on top of everything else. What little life you have left is ours henceforth. Welcome back to the family, Melody Pond: The Woman Who Failed to Kill the Doctor! Soon we will have a new family member. Nova Susan Song: The New Woman to Kill the Doctor."

"No!" I scream, struggling against the cuffs around my wrists. "You can't! She won't! No! No!"

I suddenly begin screaming in pain from a massive electric charge that shoots through my brain. All the while, the monstrous creature before me murmurs commands to me in a raspy voice, "Find Nova Susan Song. Find the Doctor. Bring them to us."

"No!" I shout back against the pain. "I will not give in! I won't…"

The pain is becoming too much to handle, and I begin to lose the ability to fight back the twisted commands this creature seems to be forcefully imbedding into my head.

"Find Nova Susan Song. Find the Doctor. Bring them to us. Find Nova Susan Song. Find the Doctor. Bring them to us." The creature repeats the words over and over again, forcing me to hang on to every word, making it impossible for me to resist, like Kovarian said.

The entire world turns to white for a moment until the scene becomes clear once again, and there is a single thought left in my head. A single task.

I will find the child. I will find the Doctor. I will bring them to Madame Kovarian. I will ensure that the child kills the Doctor when the time comes. And this time, I will not fail in my mission. The Doctor will fall, and the Time Lord plague will be purged. Forever.

Chapter Text

“MOM!”

I sit bolt upright, hearts pounding, head throbbing, and skin dripping in a cold sweat.

God, that dream was so scary, even scarier than the last one. This time, I saw my mother be captured—again—by the Silence! More than that, they put her under some sort of mind-control, seemingly forcing her to see the Doctor and I—her own family—as enemies and hunt us down to hand us over to their leader—that creepy eye-patch woman, ‘Madame Kovarian’—so that she can watch me kill my own father!

I wish I could say that that was just a dream, that my mother is totally fine and not in any kind of danger whatsoever, but it felt all too real to be a dream, much like the previous ‘dream’ in which I saw my father-guardian electrocuted to death. If they truly killed him, I’m going to give them what’s coming to them, but after what they did to my mother… I’m not even sure what I’ll do, but either way, the Silence will fall, every single one of them.

What will Dad think when he finds out? If he finds out? He can’t know; it would totally destroy him! It’s bad enough that he’s seen her death at the Library, and every time he sees her now (albeit a past version of her, but alive and well, nonetheless), he can’t help but think of that terrible event and be forbidden to tell her anything about it. To him, it’s like he is seeing a ghost—someone who is supposed to be dead and yet continues to haunt him and remind him of a past (future, in River’s case) that he can never change. Ever since I met him, I’ve seen it in his old eyes every day. He’d do anything to change that event, and ever since he’d shown me that event, so would I. The very thought brings tears to my eyes.

I bury my face in my hands, sobbing uncontrollably.

Oh, River—Mom… How could they do that to you—again? Haven’t they tortured us enough already? What more could they possibly hope to gain? I can’t take this anymore. I just want this all to end.

All of this just to get back at Mom for refusing to kill Dad!

WHAT! THE! ACTUAL! HELL?!

‘Are you alright, my child?’

The sound of Idris’s voice makes my hearts momentarily leap in shock. “Idris!” I sigh in relief. “It’s just you.” I swiftly wipe my eyes dry.

‘I apologize for startling you,’ she says in a sincere tone.

I shake my head. “No, I just didn’t expect to hear your voice, that’s all.” Admittedly, I keep forgetting that I’m no longer at home, so I’m not used to hearing disembodied voices in my room at random times of the day. Most people would be severely creeped out, but it’s not so creepy to me, since the owner of the voice is someone I greatly trust.

‘Are you alright?’ she repeats her previous question—one that I’m not very comfortable answering. ‘I sense much fear in you.’

“I’m fine,” I lie, shaking my head. “Just had a bad dream. That’s normal, right?” Somehow, I doubt Idris would actually accept it, especially if it’s true she’s seen me (Do time-machines even have eyes?) crying this whole time.

My theory is confirmed when the TARDIS says in a doubtful tone, ‘I suppose it is for some people…but not for you. You doubt yourself.’

“I…” I sputter on my words, hesitant to explain the truth. “No, I just… I don’t—”

‘You are in denial that what you saw was truly a dream.’

I sigh. Clearly, Idris can ‘see’ right through lies, much like Dad (“Rule 1: The Doctor lies”). Then again, maybe they can sense me lying through our telepathic link. Man, I really need to figure out a way to somehow break that link; or at the very least, block them from my mind, if that’s even possible.

“Honestly, I’d rather not talk about it,” I admit. “I just want to forget about it and move on.” The more I think about it, the more anxious I feel, which is the worst feeling. There’s more than enough stress in my life as it is.

‘Would not talking about it make you feel better?’ she asks in a tone like my choosing to bottle up the thoughts and emotions within me is not, in fact, the best decision. Admittedly, a small part of me does think that, but I don’t have the courage to admit it out loud, nor do I have the courage to actually speak my mind.

“I…don’t know,” I sigh, my anxiety increasing. “Maybe. But…maybe not. I really don’t know. I mean, I want to tell Dad, but I also don’t. I don’t want to worry him.”

‘I wasn’t asking whether you wanted to tell your father,’ Idris says in a tone of disagreement, but I also can’t help but feel like she’s actually suggesting that I tell her instead.

“You mean…you want me to talk about it with you?” I ask with a raised eyebrow. “Just you?” I would definitely prefer that over telling Dad. He’s got enough to worry about, but this would be too much for him.

‘You have a right to decide whether or not you want to talk about your dream and whom you want to share it with,’ she says sincerely. ‘However, I can assure you that I will do my best to understand if you choose to share it with me.’

Idris’s words make me feel a tad calmer. “Thanks, Idris,” I say with a slight smile. At least there’s one person I can trust that won’t spill the beans on anyone else, certainly not my father. Then again, since we’re all psychically linked, he might already know what I’ve seen; or rather, he might have a sense of what I’ve seen from all the thoughts in my head. “Though, won’t Dad be able to hear us through our telepathic link?” I admit my fear to Idris. “Rather, he’d hear you talking to me?” Surely, every time Idris ‘says’ something telepathically, Dad must hear it every time, no matter where or when he is; perhaps he’s hearing every bit of the conversation between us as we speak.

‘I have a way of blocking him from any conversations the two of us may have,’ she says in an assuring tone. ‘While your telepathic link with him is and always will be active, he cannot sense your thoughts at this time, as I’ve put a mental block around your entire bedroom. I assure you, in the whole time we’ve been talking, he hasn’t been able to hear us at all.’

Damn, that’s impressive! “Good,” I nod. “I wish I could do something like that to my own mind. It’s weird having him always sensing everything I’m thinking and feeling; it’s an invasion of my privacy. Any chance you could teach me?” There are certain things, such as this, that I would rather keep to myself, or at least when I’m ready to actually talk about it. The fact that he always senses my thoughts and then immediately asks about it, especially at times when I’m not comfortable talking about it right away, greatly annoys me. I wish he’d have the decency to stay out of my head, no matter how strong our telepathic link is. Not only is it awkward, but it’s incredibly rude as well.

‘Unfortunately, I cannot,’ Idris says apologetically. ‘That is something only your father can teach you.’

Ugh, I knew she was going to say that.

“I kinda figured, but I wanted to ask anyway.” I sigh as lay back in bed. “Anyway, about my dream… I saw Mom; rather, I was in her head. She was… She was strapped to some kind of operating table, and there were wires connected to her head. There was another woman there, too—a woman with an eye-patch, like the ones those men that attacked me in the alley in London were wearing. She clearly knew Mom, and Mom knew her; she called her ‘Kovarian,’ whom Dad said led the Silence and was Mom’s former guardian. In fact, this woman—Kovarian—had planned for Mom to show up. She taunted Mom, talking about how she’d failed to save my guardians and Hazel, and how she was going to make Mom suffer for failing—or rather, refusing—to kill Dad. She said she was going to make sure Mom would actually succeed this time by making her brainwashing return…and they did. They seemed to reactivate something in her head to make her brainwashing return, which was something they planted in her head when she was a baby when they stole her away back at Demons Run. The last thing I remember before I woke up was Mom thinking about how she was going to find me and Dad and deliver us to Kovarian without fail, and make sure that I would succeed in killing Dad when the time came.” I rub my eyes vigorously, feeling more tears threaten to spill from them. “God, it was horrible. Dad can’t know anything about this. Even if it’s real, he can’t know…but at the same time he has to. If Mom tries to kill him again…” I can’t even imagine what that would look like. I mean, it’s happened before, and Dad clearly survived the ordeal (twice), but still…my own mother killing my own father… Or worse, me killing my own father…

‘Don’t fret, Nova,’ Idris says in a sympathetic tone. ‘I’m sure you and your father will figure something out. Your mother is a strong woman whose mind is exceedingly powerful, much like yours. Even if her brainwashing has returned, she will find a way to overcome it, perhaps like she did in Berlin. You have nothing to fear.’

I immediately frown at her words. “Of course I have something to fear! I may have just lost my mother to the Silence again, as well as my guardians and Hazel! This was exactly what I feared would happen before she left me and look what happened! Even if she can be saved, I doubt she could be saved in the same way as whatever had saved her last time. Or worse, she may not be able to be saved at all, no matter what we do, just like Kovarian said! I can’t lose anybody else, certainly not to them!” Those sickos hurt every single person I care about, even killed some, and I will not let them hurt them further, nor anybody else.

‘I understand, my child, I really do,’ Idris says with a sigh. ‘It is a very unfortunate circumstance, and it is one that cannot be handled at this time. Right now, your father has a very urgent matter to attend to at the Paternoster Residence in 1895, and he needs you to assist him. He is preparing our journey there as we speak, and he is expecting you to be ready within the hour.’

“What’s happening in 1895?” I ask as I pull the covers off of me, stand and stretch on the side of my bed.

‘I know not, but I am sure he will explain it to you when you meet with him,’ she says calmly. ‘If you step into your wardrobe, you will see that I have selected a handful of time-period-appropriate attire that I think would well suit you.’

“Thanks,” I say as I enter the closet.

Once I enter, I am surprised to find my typical modern-day clothing replaced with Victorian-style clothing, all hung neatly in an organized fashion. I comment on how impressive it is for Idris to magically transport clothing from another era into my closet, already prepared for the day, as it saves me the hassle of having to physically hunt for the clothing of that specific era. I imagine Dad has a ginormous wardrobe somewhere in the TARDIS that holds every type of clothing from every era on Earth. I can imagine the hassle of having to hunt for a specific era of clothing, and how much time that would take just to find it (God, that would be just awful!). I comment on how much easier it is to get dressed for the era after having selected a few dresses of my liking and transporting them to my bedroom closet.

As I get dressed, I mention feeling a little hungry, and Idris impresses me yet again by conjuring my favorite brand and flavor of protein bar. I eat it as I finish getting ready for the day. I ultimately choose a flowing TARDIS-blue ‘Marie Antoinette’-style dress with black lacing around the neck and sleeves. I style my hair in a fancy braided up-do, and I decide to wear my Chuck Taylors under my dress in case we’re unexpectedly chased by an unknown monster; luckily the dress is long enough to cover my shoes, so no one should see them, even though they technically won’t be invented for another twenty-two years (Spoilers). There is even a small purse that comes with the dress, which I use to hold my phone and sonic screwdriver.

“Wow!” I say as I twirl in front of the mirror. “I feel like I’m dressing up for a Victorian-style Halloween party, except I’m not. I’m actually going to the Victorian Era! That was always my favorite era to learn about in school; now I actually get to travel there and be there in person, which is obviously something I’ve never done! I am genuinely excited for this!”

‘I’m sure you and your father will have a great time,’ Idris says with a small chuckle.

“I hope this’ll be way better than that crap-fest we went to on our last trip,” I say as I shut my light off and leave my room. “Not that it was a crap-fest when we initially arrived; it was a beautiful planet, at least before the war blew it up and those pirates wreaked all that havoc and attempted to kill Dad. If anything or anyone tries to kill Dad on this trip, I’ll make sure to kill them first, no joke!” My words briefly make me think of that time I almost did that very thing to Multi-Eyes. Admittedly, a small part of me wishes I had gone ahead and done it anyway; it would’ve felt much more satisfying that way.

‘I don’t disagree with you, Nova,’ Idris says in an uncertain tone, ‘but I would recommend keeping that particular thought to yourself. I don’t think your father would approve of such speak, especially coming from his daughter.’

“I don’t care what he would think,” I say seriously, shaking my head. “Too many people have tried to kill him already, and I’m gonna make sure it never happens again. If anybody else wants to kill him, they’ll have to do it over my dead body. That’s all I’m gonna say about that.” Mom said that if the Silence wanted to touch me, they would have to do it over her dead body. You and me both, mother. You and me both.

A few minutes later, I reach the Control Room, and I spot my father circling the console as usual, turning dials, flipping switches, and the like. He’s dressed differently than how I’m used to seeing him. Instead of his usual tan tweed jacket, this time he’s dressed in a heavy purple frock coat with matching trousers and boots.

“Hey, Dad!” I say as I descend the stairs to him.

“Ah, Nova!” he says excitedly, looking up at me. “I was just about to check on you to see if you were awake! We are currently heading to Victorian London, 1895, to answer a distress call from an old friend.”

“Yeah, I know,” I nod. “Idris told me. She even helped me get dressed for the occasion, as you can see.” I gesture casually to my dress.

Dad smiles admirably at me. “Yes. You look beautiful. Love the dress and your choice of hairstyle.”

“Thanks,” I smile back. “You clean up nice yourself. Purple is a good color for you. You should wear it more often; not that I don’t like your tan tweed.”

“I really appreciate that. And don’t worry; the tweed will still be in. I’m never gonna give that up.” He shakes his head in a ‘in what universe would I do such a ridiculous thing?’ manner.

“Of course not,” I chuckle. “I see you’re not giving up your bow ties either.” At this point, I catch a glimpse of a bow tie under his neck that is the same color as the rest of his suit.

“Goodness, no!” he says in a seemingly offended tone. “Why in all of Space-Time would I want to give up my bow ties? Bow ties are cool!”

 “I…never said they weren’t cool,” I say with a slight frown, feeling awkward. “I just saw that you were still wearing a bow tie, which was what I expected.” I then shake my head and change the subject. “Anyway, what’s the sitch in 1895?”

He shrugs. “No idea; me friend was pretty vague. Something about ‘fear taking over the world.’”

“‘Fear taking over the world?’” I say with a puzzled frown. “You mean, like, an invasion? Those typically tend to spread a lot of fear.”

“No idea,” he shrugs again. “Guess we’ll find out when we arrive. We should be arriving in three…two…one…” The TARDIS suddenly makes her typical landing sound, and everything becomes still and silent.

I glance awkwardly between Dad and the doors. “So…I guess we’re here? We walk out those doors, we’ll be in Victorian London, a hundred-and-twenty years in the past—well, my past?”

“Correct,” Dad nods. He then pulls the overhead scanner towards him and reads from it. “It is 30 October 1895, 7:27pm, a comfortable temperature of nineteen degrees Celsius, with a twenty percent chance of rain later.”

“Show-off,” I snort with a raised eyebrow as I head toward the door. I seriously doubt it says all that stuff on the monitor.

“No, really; that’s what it says on the scanner,” he says in a ‘I’m not lying’ tone, but since he admitted to ‘lying’ being his number-one thing, I don’t fully believe him.

“I’m sure it does, but I want to experience it for myself,” I say seriously but also teasingly. “‘Seeing is believing,’ after all.” I then push the door open and poke my head outside.

Unfortunately, the scene before me is not at all what I expected. Instead of a giant open space, I open the TARDIS doors to a brick wall.

“Really?” I say incredulously. “An alleyway? You could’ve parked literally anywhere in the city; why an alleyway, of all places?” Just the very thought brings back the disturbing memory of when I was attacked by the Silence in a modern-day alley. “Also, just a heads-up, I don’t do alleyways anymore; not since I was attacked in one a hundred-and-twenty years from now.” I suddenly pause at my strange statement as Dad exits the TARDIS. “Whoa, that sounded weird, and probably didn’t make any sense.”

“It made perfect sense to me,” he says with a slight shrug, “and I’m sorry you feel that way about alleys now. I don’t blame you. Alleys are not the safest of places anyway, but they are one of few places the Old Girl can blend in best.”

“I know,” I nod. “I’m just saying, you could’ve picked a more extravagant place, like the top of a hill or something.” I then look around the unfamiliar alley. “Where are we, anyway?”

“Not where we should be,” Dad admits with a groan.

“So you did mean to park us at the top of a hill?” I say teasingly but also seriously.

He shakes his head. “No, I mean we accidentally parked a mile and a half from where we were supposed to land. I got the coordinates wrong by one digit; I just now realized. We need to go back inside so I can correct them.” He begins going back inside the TARDIS, but I stop him, grabbing his coat sleeve.

“It’s only a mile and a half,” I shrug. “That’s not far of a walk. Why not walk there? It’s a nice night, and you said there was a small chance of rain. Then again, it always rains in England. Plus, this is Victorian London; we’re a hundred-and-twenty years in the past! You promised you’d take me to the past, and I expect to see as much of it as possible—outside the TARDIS, preferably.” I then glance awkwardly to the blue box and whisper, “Uh, no offense, Idris.”

‘None taken,’ she says in a tone like she is not offended at all. Of course, she knows that I would rather see as much of Victorian London as possible than use the TARDIS as a short-cut.

“Come on, Dad,” I say. “I’ve rested enough, and I could use a bit of exercise.” If I ‘rest’ anymore, I’ll surely die of boredom. I then say, grinning smugly at him, “And besides, who needs sleep when there’s so much to see in the universe? Sleep is highly overrated!”

Back atcha, bro!

“Shut up,” Dad grumbles under his breath, knowing full well he’d said those exact words to me on our last adventure. He is silent for a moment as he contemplates my earlier statement. He eventually sighs, deciding. “Oh, alright; we’ll walk there.” I cheer silently at this. “But don’t think it’ll be my fault if you pass out from weakness. I won’t be the one to carry you all the way back to the TARDIS.”

“You’re wrong, but okay,” I shrug carelessly. Even if I did, who else would, anyway? It’d be weird if it was anybody else besides the Doctor.

We walk through the streets in silence. As I take in the scene’s Victorian glory, I suddenly feel a strange tingling sensation in the air, immediately making me think of static electricity. The feeling makes my skin itch. I glance to my father and see him holding his hand out flat in front of him, like he is feeling something that is invisible.

“You feel it too?” I ask him curiously. “That tingling?”

He nods. “Very much. It’s very strong here.” He then takes out his sonic screwdriver and scans the area. After a few seconds, he stops and stares at the sonic when the prongs stick out, like it is telepathically telling him what it had scanned. He frowns and says, “I’m getting strong readings of Bio-Nanotechnology, not just in the city, but the entire planet.”

I raise a puzzled eyebrow. “Bio-Nanotechnology? Let me guess. It’s basically nanotechnology, but a biological version of it. It’s technology that can build identical copies of things, or rather living things, like us.” Which isn’t creepy at all, I add in my head.

“Spot on,” Dad praises me. “It can build an exact—or close to exact—copy of one’s DNA, but it can be altered where it’s slightly different. For example, you may see yourself suddenly appear in front of you, but the other Nova’s eyes are brown instead of green, or something of that sort. Or it’s a Nova that’s got a totally different personality from you, one that may be the complete opposite of you.”

“So…if you were to compare me with Anakin Skywalker, someone could use Bio-Nanotechnology to create a ‘Darth Vader’-like version of me, if they wanted?” I ask to clarify what he’s talking about.

“Uh…yes,” he says uncertainly. “Something like that.” I raise another eyebrow at this. Seriously, Dad needs to get into more Earth pop-culture; just relax for once in his life. Surely, all of the universe-saving must get exhausting after a while.

In any case, the very thought of running into an evil me would be creepy as Hell. “Geez, that’s creepy. So, you think that’s what we’re dealing with here? Someone, or something, is using Bio-Nanotechnology to scare people all over the world, making exact copies of people and turning them evil? Which, by the way, sounds totally ridiculous!” Who in their right mind would do something like that? How would that even be possible?

Dad shrugs. “It’s a possibility. Something similar has actually happened before on another planet that I once saved. Unfortunately, the planet no longer exists because it was destroyed not long after I saved it. A mad group of alien physicians were using highly advanced technology—a form of Bio-Nanotechnology—to make people’s fears come to life. They called themselves ‘Shada Dämo,’ translated as ‘Shadow’s Demons.’”

“Wow,” I say, genuinely shocked that this is totally possible, even if it’s happened on another planet. “That’s…highly disturbing. I hope that’s not what’s happening here.” Even if it is happening here, since Dad has experienced a similar situation, it’ll be easy to stop the occurrence; he can just do whatever he did to stop the psycho-aliens last time again, right?

“Me neither,” he says, agreeing with my statement. “There’s a particular fear of mine that I would rather not face again, and I certainly don’t want it coming to life. It would destroy the whole planet—again.”

I nod understandingly. “Yeah, I think I know what specific fear you’re talking about.” He’s obviously referring to the Time War, and although he hasn’t shown me anything about that—and honestly, I’m not at all interested in seeing it; who would truly want to, anyway?—I can imagine reliving that experience to be his worst fear. I can’t imagine anything worse for him than that. “I’ve got a few myself that I don’t want to see either,” I admit. I can’t help but think about what I would look like as a Silence member, or coming face-to-face with the eye-patch lady, Madame Kovarian… Even River.

Mom…

“Your mum?” Dad says in a puzzled, but also shocked, tone, glancing to me with wide eyes. “Why would you be scared of her?”

Shit, I think to myself, I shouldn’t have thought about her…not in front of him. “Uh…I never said she scared me,” I say, feeling flustered and my face burning with embarrassment and guilt. “I…”

“Nova...” Dad says in a suspicious tone, and I can’t help but think, Fudgeknuckle! I’m so screwed! “Is there something about your mother that you’re not telling me? Did she contact you; is she alright?” He sounds legitimately panicked at this point, which is what I was afraid of. I didn’t want to tell him…not now.

“No!” I say immediately, and a literal second later, I realize I’d said that way too quickly. I shake my head as I struggle to come up with a more believable lie. “I mean…no, she didn’t contact me. I don’t know anything. I… I just miss her, that’s all. I’m scared I’ll never see her again, that she won’t come back to us safely.” Hopefully, that’ll be enough to keep him off my case…at least temporarily.

After a minute of silence, he sighs and says, still sounding slightly suspicious, “I understand. I miss her too. We’ll see her again soon. You’ll see.” He gives my back a gentle rub, and I can’t help but think, That’s what I’m worried about.

I then say quickly before he can question my thoughts, “So who’s this friend of yours we’re gonna go see?”

Dad sighs, like he is reluctant to answer, due to sensing my concerns for Mom, but he explains anyway, “It’s not just one friend: it’s actually a trio of friends. They call themselves the Paternoster Gang, given from the name of the street that which they live on, Paternoster Row; though, in your time, you’d know it as the location of the London Stock Exchange on Paternoster Square. They are a trio of detectives that protect the city from criminals both human and alien. Madame Vastra, a Homo-Reptilian who leads the group, is the one who called us here.”

“‘Homo-Reptilian,’” I say in amazement. “Also known as a Silurian. They’re from the Jurassic Period, aren’t they? She must be, like, ancient. Like, possibly older than you.” She must be billions (maybe more) of years old; Dad is practically a baby to her.

“You quite possibly could be right,” he chuckles. “However, I am unsure as to what age she is. I didn’t think it polite to ask.”

“What about the other two?” I ask curiously.

“A human woman named Jenny Flint and a Sontaran named Strax,” he answers casually.

I suddenly pause. Wait… Did he just say ‘Sontaran?!’

“A Sontaran?” I exclaim disapprovingly. “Seriously? You’re friends with a Sontaran?” Who’d want to be friends with those arrogant, potato-headed bastards?

“He’s not like other Sontarans,” Dad says in an assuring tone. “At least, he’s not anymore. I saved his life once, which led to him becoming indebted to me. So he became my friend and helped me rescue your mum and grandmum at Demons Run in exchange for saving his life. He ended up being killed during the battle, but Vastra and Jenny brought him back to life and took him with them back to Victorian London, and he’s been working as their butler here ever since. Though he can be a bit arrogant at times, you shouldn’t let that get to you. Far as I know, he’s still learning how to be kind. It’s not in a Sontaran’s nature to be kind, but I’ve helped this one move beyond their ways. Just be gentle with him.”

‘Be gentle with him?’ I scoff in my head. Sure, we’ll see how long that lasts before he decides to blow my brains out for the mere heck of it.

I sigh. “Okay, fine, but I’m keeping my distance just in case. As far as I’m concerned, all Sontarans cannot be trusted. As far as I’m concerned, he’s still like all the rest, despite what you taught him.” For all I know, this Sontaran could’ve been the exact same as the two previous Sontarans I met; though I don’t know how, but it’s a possibility.

“Have some faith, Nova,” Dad says in an encouraging tone. “Give him a chance. You’ll see Strax is a true ally. He saved you from being taken by the Silence.”

I raise a skeptical eyebrow at this. “He did?” A Sontaran saved me? He can’t be serious! What are the odds of that?

But Dad is serious. He nods. “He did. He defended us when we were escaping after I found you. All three of them saved us. They saved you.”

I am rendered completely speechless. A Sontaran actually saved me; and from Dad’s tone, this Sontaran actually saved me willingly. I can’t believe it! I briefly wonder if this Sontaran actually remembers saving me, same for the other two women. If they see me now, would they recognize me?

“I’m sure they’ll recognize you,” Dad nods, answering my thoughts.

“But I was just a baby,” I say with a puzzled frown. “I was just born. How would they recognize me at this age?” I gesture to my current older self.

He stops and turns to face me, saying, “By your eyes. They’re just like mine.”

I raise my eyebrows at this. It makes sense that one would see someone and assume they’re someone else’s daughter or mother or whatever based on their similar looks, but I didn’t think anyone would recognize me as the Doctor’s daughter, especially since he doesn’t always look the same (well, until now, seeing as he can’t regenerate anymore). For all I know, my next self could have different color eyes, and yet people might still recognize me as the Doctor’s daughter based on my eyes’ age. Throughout my childhood, people always said that my eyes look much older than the rest of me, which, I now know, is a trait I share with the Doctor; therefore, we must be related. Still, even though it doesn’t make sense, I find it astounding that no matter what body I’m in, I’ll still be recognized as the Doctor’s daughter solely based on the age of my eyes.

We continue walking in silence. In fact, everywhere is silent. Creepily silent.

“It’s so quiet,” I say, looking around and feeling uncomfortable. “Since we arrived, we haven’t come across anyone, not one person. I always thought Victorian London would be busier. Much busier.” As we pass a row of houses, I see a few people staring and frowning at us through the windows, like we’re crazy to be outside. Other people stare out the window like they are afraid of what they will see next; or rather, they’re afraid of what might happen to Dad and me. As if the quietness wasn’t creepy enough.

“They’re afraid,” Dad points out the painfully obvious.

“Of what?” I ask nervously.

“That’s what we’re here to find out,” he responds, and I can’t help but think, Yeah, thanks, Dad, you’re a big help.

“You said that Vastra said something about ‘fear taking over the world,’” I point out. “Is that why everyone’s so scared to leave their houses, why the streets are so empty?” That’s the only logical explanation, right?

“Like I said, we’ll find out,” he says as he slowly takes my hand and gives it a tight squeeze. “Stay close, Nova. I don’t want to lose you in these streets.”

“How much farther?” I ask, sensing his nervousness through our link, which is, admittedly, starting to get to me also.

“Still little ways to go,” he admits before sighing. “We really should’ve taken the TARDIS.” He then takes out his sonic again, adjusts it, and points it at the sky, the device buzzing loudly. All the while, my hearts begin to pound a little faster; or maybe I’m sensing Dad’s hearts pounding through our link. At this point, as strong as our link has become since I resurrected him on our last adventure, it’s hard to tell what’s going on between us anymore.

“What’re you doing?” I ask, puzzled at his strange behavior.

“I’m sending Vastra a signal to follow to meet us here,” he says as he continues to sonic the sky for a few more seconds before putting it away. “We shouldn’t be out here much longer alone.”

“Why?” I ask, sensing my (or rather Dad’s) hearts beat even faster, which increases my own nervousness. “Dad, you’re starting to scare me. Please just tell me what’s going on. What are you so afraid of?”

“EVERYTHING!” he screams completely out of nowhere. The outburst makes me subconsciously back away from him in fear—a fear that I’m not even sure why I am feeling—and make my own hearts beat faster for a completely different reason.

Suddenly realizing how much his outburst had affected me, Dad sighs and rubs his eyes, feeling immensely guilty.

“Dad…” I say as I slowly approach him and gently pull his hands away from his face. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry,” he whimpers, struggling to compose himself. “I… I don’t know what came over me.” He then pulls me into a gentle hug and holds me tightly, burying his face in my shoulder. “I’m sorry I scared you.”

“It’s okay…I guess,” I say uncertainly as I rub his back up and down, trying to calm him. “Um…I’m not exactly sure what that was about. Are you okay, Dad?” That seemed so random. What was going through his head? The only thing I could sense through our link was fear. Extreme fear.

Extreme fear for me. But why?

He abruptly pulls away, sighing and smiling like nothing ever happened. “I’m always okay. I’m the King of Okay.” He then shakes his head. “Oh, that’s a rubbish title. Forget I said that.”

“Hey!” I say, squeezing his hand. “I’m here for you, yeah? You’re not alone. I’m right here.” I’m not exactly sure what it is about me that he’s so afraid of. Is he afraid that something will happen to me? That he’ll lose me? He’s lost so many people in the past, so the latter would make more sense. Plus, we’re the only two Time Lords left in the universe, so if one of us dies, the other will be the last Time Lord ever, which was exactly what I felt when I lost him to the pirates, and it’s a feeling that I never ever want to feel again.

He reaches up and brushes my cheek as if to confirm that I am really here (Duh. Where else would I be?). He smiles and says, “I know you are, and I don’t want to lose you.”

So, yes, he is afraid to lose me. But I don’t understand why he thinks he actually would. “You won’t,” I say, shaking my head. “I’ll always be here for you. That’s what I keep telling you.” Why can’t he understand that?

Actually, I know why. “Whatever this ‘fear’ thing is, it’s starting to get to you,” I say. It must be. That’s the only reason why he’d be feeling the way he’s feeling, despite telling him numerous times that he would never lose me, and he’s believed me every time I said so before…at least, I think he has.

“It’s starting to get to us both,” he admits in an uncomfortable tone, “which is why we need to get off the streets A.S.A.P. Madame Vastra and the others should meet us shortly.” He pulls me along. “Come on, let’s look for the main road. It’ll be easier for them to find us that way.”

A few minutes later, we round a corner to the main street with several walls covered top to bottom in posters. Some look like they’ve been posted recently, and others much later, the latter looking badly faded.

“Wow,” I frown as I inspect the posters. “These look like ‘missing persons’ posters. There are so many of them. No wonder people are too scared to leave their homes; people are going missing off the streets.” As I look at an image of a girl about my age (at least in human years), I wonder aloud, “Maybe that’s why we were called here. Your friends need our help to find these missing people. What do you think, Dad?” I wait for an answer, but I don’t get one. “Dad?” I glance over to him and see him staring intensely at a poster, his face looking ashen. “Dad, what’s wrong?” I ask as I hesitantly approach him.

“This woman…” he says breathlessly, stroking the poster with his fingers, like it’s completely impossible for there to be a poster of the woman at all.

“What about her?” I ask with a frown. “You know her?” I inspect the poster closely. The image, though marginally faded, shows a young, smiling Victorian woman with dark eyes and hair. I don’t recognize the woman’s face, but I do recognize the woman’s name the moment I see it printed at the bottom of the page in large writing: Jenny Flint. My eyes widen in shock at the terrible realization. “Wait, that’s one of your three friends, isn’t it? How did she go—?”

I am suddenly interrupted when I hear a woman’s guttural scream from further down the road, making both hearts leap to my throat and a shudder run up my spine. “What was that?” I exclaim in surprise.

“Someone’s in trouble!” Dad replies before he bolts down the road at cheetah-speed.

“Dad!” I exclaim before I chase after him. He runs into a side alley (Ugh, not another one of those!) on the opposite side of the road, and I reluctantly follow him, barely able to keep up with him. Thank God I chose to wear my Chuck Taylors on this trip, or he would be miles ahead by now. “Dad, slow down!” I shout after him as I continue running.

Once he reaches the end of the alley, he abruptly stops at the corner of a perpendicular alley, and I almost crash into him from behind. “Geez, Dad, why did you—Fudgeknuckle!”

I immediately stop screaming once my eyes fall on the scene before us. We both stand there, shocked, as we witness a homeless man brutally stab a woman in the stomach with a large knife.

Chapter Text

I don’t even think. I just act.

“Leave her alone!” I scream on instinct as I rush at the man at the speed of lightning.

“Nova, don’t!” Dad yells after me. “You’ll get yourself killed! Nova!”

His voice falls on deaf ears as I launch myself at the man, football-tackling him to the wet ground. The force knocks the knife out of the man’s hand. After a swift punch to the jaw, which knocks him senseless but not unconscious, I immediately snatch the knife from the ground and jump back up on my feet. 

“Back off, jack, or I’ll use this!” I yell, pointing the sharp end of the knife at the man’s chest, which are both covered in fresh, as well as old, blood. “It’d be very unfortunate for you to get killed with your own weapon!” I then yell toward my father without turning my back on the dirty man, “Dad, run!”

But he doesn’t run. Instead, he just stands there, stunned. “Nova, what the hell are you doing?”

“What does it look like I’m doing?” I yell back at him. “I’m saving your ass—properly, this time!” I failed to protect him last time, but this time I will not fail. “Go! Find your friends! I’ll catch up with you! I have to take care of this first!” I’m not going to let this jackass kill anybody else. I’ll kill him before he even has a chance; after all, I am now the one holding the knife.

However, Dad still refuses to leave. “Nova, have you lost your mind?” he says, totally appalled that I—his daughter—am willing to kill someone in front of him. This sicko just killed an innocent woman in front of us, so yes, Dad, I would kill this man without question!

“Nobody else is gonna die in front of me!” I say seriously. “Certainly not you! Now go!”

To my great annoyance, Dad is not giving up. “Nova, you don’t realize who this man is you’re fighting!”

“I know exactly who he is!” I scream back at him. “He’s a murderer! There’s no telling how many innocent people he’s killed before her! I’m not gonna let you be next! Stay down, scum!” I yell this last bit once I see the man attempt to get up, his shaggy beard dripping with blood and dirt. I then attempt to yell for Dad to find the police before the man gets away with another murder, that ‘murder’ being us.

Clearly, Dad doesn’t even know how to give up. “He has no interest in killing me! He’s only interested in killing women! Such as yourself! Surely, just from that fact, you should know who he is!”

I sigh. Dear God, why doesn’t he get it? Why doesn’t he get that I’m trying to save him—something I failed to do last time?

“I don’t care who he is!” I groan. “I only care about all the lives I’d be saving once his ass is thrown in ja—!”

I am suddenly interrupted as the man lunges at me and tackles me to the ground, exactly like how I tackled him before. I am unable to catch myself as I fall backwards and abruptly lose my grip on the knife. Before I have a chance to grab the knife again, the man grabs it first and immediately pounces on me, like a cat to a mouse, pinning me to the ground by sitting on my hips, and attempts to stab at me. Before he plunges the knife in my throat, I manage to block him with my arm, but I end up getting stabbed in the right shoulder to the hilt. I instinctively scream in pain.

“Get off of her!” I hear Dad yell from a distance, and half a second later I feel the man being pulled off of me. Through the blurry haze in my vision due to the pain, I see Dad pull the man backwards, but he ends up pulling him back way too hard, and they both end up falling to the ground. Dad attempts to hold the man down, but, without warning, he swings his head back into Dad’s chin hard, cutting his lip on one side. Dad yelps in pain and releases the man as he jumps back up and goes after me again.

But this time I am ready for him. Somehow, I manage to pull the knife from my shoulder at just the right time for the man to jump on me again, holding the knife between us as he falls on top of me, this time in an attempt to strangle me. However, he only goes as far as to wrap his fingers around my throat and squeeze slightly but not tightly. The moment his stomach collides with mine, I feel the knife press between us, followed by the warmth of something sticky and liquid-y quickly spread around my waist to the ground below me. There is a look of complete and utter shock on the man’s face before I see a light fade in his eyes, and he falls silent and deadweight against me, the knife stuck between us and the sticky substance continuing to spread around my body.

“Nova!” Dad rushes to my aide, his bottom lip bloodied and bruised on one side.

“Dad…” I say weakly as I struggle under the man’s weight. “Help…” He grabs the man’s shoulders as I push from below, and we both manage to move the man’s body off of me. I am able to breathe easier once his body is pulled aside. We both gasp once we reveal the sharp end of the knife imbedded in the man’s chest and my dress covered in blood.

“Nova…” Dad gasps when he sees my shoulder after he pulls me to my feet. “Your shoulder…”

“Don’t worry about me,” I say, shaking my head, as I cover my shoulder with my hand, trying to stop the heavy bleeding. “What about the woman?” Surely, we saved her, right; now that that scumbag is dead?

“Blimey, the woman!” Dad gasps in horror. “How could I forget?” He then rushes to the thirty-something-year-old woman and kneels next to her, examining her injuries. I follow close behind.

It’s not good. The woman’s abdomen is completely torn open, blood pooling everywhere around her. I hate to be pessimistic, but there is absolutely no way anyone could survive an injury like that.

However, Dad is determined to save this woman; or at least try to keep her calm during her last moments. I can sense it through our link. “It’s alright, ma’am,” he says soothingly to her, keeping her calm. “Don’t be afraid. I’m a doctor. I’m here to help you. Focus on me, yeah; right at me.” Surprisingly, he doesn’t attempt to stop the woman bleeding out all over the ground beneath her. Does this mean he also knows she is not going to make it? He must; otherwise he would be attempting to stop the bleeding, right?

“Doctor…” the woman whimpers weakly as the light slowly fades from her eyes.

Dad nods sincerely. “That’s right; that’s who I am. I’m the Doctor.” The poor woman’s eyes then begin to slowly close, and Dad immediately says, “Don’t try to sleep. Keep your eyes open; focus on me. Help is coming. You’ll be alright soon.”

“Doc…tor…” she repeats Dad’s name before her eyes close completely, and her chest settles with a final breath…and then nothing. I sigh as I struggle to fight back a tear that threatens to spill from my eye.

“Ma’am, I need you to focus on me,” Dad says, unbeknownst to her death; either that, or he already knows she is dead but just doesn’t want to believe it. “Right at me. Can you do that? Ma’am?” He gives her shoulder a gentle shake. “Ma’am, I need you to open your eyes. I need you to focus on me, okay? Can you open your eyes for me?”

“Dad…” I say as I lay a hand on his shoulder. “She’s gone.”

Dad is still and silent for a few moments before he slowly rises from the ground, not taking his eyes off the dead woman. “We were too late,” he says softly as he reaches for my hand in comfort, his eyes misty with tears.

“I’m sorry,” I say as I squeeze his hand tightly. “There’s nothing you could’ve done. Not after what he’d done.” I say this with contempt in my hearts as I turn to the man’s corpse, only to find it missing from the place where we left him. “What the…?” I say, totally shocked. “Where did he go?” I glance around the alley, but his body is nowhere to be found. I even walk up and down the alley, but there isn’t any sign of him anywhere—no blood, no knife…nothing. “But…he was dead!” I say, completely astounded. “How could he just disappear?” It’s completely impossible…right?

“Because that’s exactly what he did,” Dad murmurs under his breath, which confuses me more.

“How?” I say incredulously. “There’s no way he could’ve gotten up and walked off. He was dead; stabbed right in the chest!” I glance to my father and see his serious look, and I frown. “What, you’re saying he literally disappeared?” He nods slowly. “How is that possible?”

“Perhaps because he wasn’t real,” he says, but the way he says it is strange, like he knows something; though what, I don’t know.

“What do you mean, he wasn’t real?” I say with a puzzled frown. “Of course he was real! He almost killed me! Look at my dress; it’s covered in his blood! And how do you think you got that bruised lip? You didn’t get it from nothing, and I didn’t just randomly decide to squirt ketchup all over my dress, if ketchup even exists in this time-period.” Absolutely nothing about this situation makes any sense…at least not to me.

“Actually, ketchup does exist in this time-period,” Dad says. “It was invented in 1812 by a brilliant scientist named—”

“Cut the history lesson!” I say, not having a care in the slightest about that. “My point is that this—” I gesture to my bloody dress. “—happened! And that bloody lip of yours, it happened too, and we weren’t the ones responsible! How could we have been? Like I said, you didn’t punch yourself in the face, and I didn’t involve myself in a one-woman food fight. And we certainly didn’t kill that woman! All of this was done by someone else—ow!” I growl in pain from my injured shoulder, holding my hand against it more tightly. “Whoever that sick son of a gun was!”

“Jack the Ripper,” he confirms before he lays a hand on my other shoulder. “And you need to calm down, Nova. You’re losing a lot of blood. We need to stop your shoulder from bleeding any more than it already has.”

“To Hell with my shoulder!” I growl back at him, believing this situation to be much more important than my own health. “I’m telling you, we—!”

I then pause. Did he just say ‘Jack the Ripper?’ As in ‘the Jack the Ripper?’ The notorious serial killer of Victorian London?

“Wait, you’re serious?” I say in genuine shock. “That’s who I fought? I fought Jack the Ripper? He was really famous, wasn’t he?”

Dad shushes me (Dude, seriously? Is there really a need for that?) and says with a nod, “Yes, Jack the Ripper was famous, but obviously not for the right reasons. Don’t talk anymore, Nova. Preserve your energy. Madame Vastra should be meeting us shortly.”

I am about to respond when we suddenly hear a man’s voice from the opposite side of the alley call in a worried tone, “Mary? Mary, my beloved, where are you? Please answer me!”

We turn to see a man in his mid-to-late forties emerge from around the corner. He abruptly pauses at the sight of the woman’s mangled body lying in a large pool of blood.

“Mary!” the man cries, grief-stricken. “My love! No!” He drops down and cradles the woman’s dead body—whom I assume is his wife—in his arms and sobs uncontrollably, burying his face in her hair. “What monster did this?” He then looks up at Dad and I and frowns. “You! Did you…?” He is suddenly at a loss for words, like he is indecisive as to believe whether or not we were responsible for his wife’s murder (we’re obviously not).

Dad glances at me in disbelief and then back at the man. “Um…no,” he sputters. “This is…no. Sir, this isn’t what it looks like.” He then steps away from me, revealing my bloody dress to the man. The man immediately gasps in horror at the sight of me.

“You!” he growls, glaring accusingly at me. “You did this! You killed my beloved!”

What the actual freak?! Is he serious?!

“What?” I exclaim, in total disbelief that he—that anyone—would think I had done such a terrible thing. “No! No! I didn’t do this! He didn’t either! Neither of us did this! It was Jack the Ripper! He did this, not us!”

“Liar!” the man screams at me, still cradling his dead wife. “Jack the Ripper is gone; has been for years! Don’t you dare tell me he killed my wife when you are the one covered in her blood!”

This can’t seriously be happening!

“No!” I say seriously. “This isn’t her blood; it’s Jack’s! He tried to kill me, but I ended up killing him instead!” How can I possibly prove that? I honestly don’t think I can, especially since his body had mysteriously disappeared.

“Sir, you’ve got it wrong!” Dad says, taking my side. “She didn’t kill your wife! She tried to save her! We both did…but we ended up arriving too late. I’m deeply sorry.” If only we had arrived sooner…

“Save it for the rope!” the man growls angrily at him as he lays his wife’s body gently back on the ground. “You’ll be tried and hanged for this treachery!” He then runs off, presumably to fetch the cops.

“Wait, stop!” Dad yells after the man. “You’ve got it wrong!” But, of course, it is fruitless.

I can’t believe this! I was just falsely accused of murder! Seriously, is there anything good that ever happens when it comes to travelling with Dad? So far, in my personal experience, nothing good has happened while travelling with Dad (no offense to him). Something tells me this might be a normal thing to get used to, but I’m not sure I want it to be normal, at least not for me. How does Dad even live like this?

“Great!” I huff. “First proper adventure through Time and Space, and I’m about to be hanged after being falsely accused of murder. All thanks to a dead guy, I might add.” I then frown. “Speaking of which, if it’s true what that dillweed just said about Jack the Ripper being dead for years, how come he was still around today? I mean, I couldn’t have fought a ghost, could I? I mean, I couldn’t have! Ghosts can’t bleed; they don’t leave behind anything, except maybe ectoplasm. But this isn’t ectoplasm; this is real blood!” He had to have been real; otherwise the blood on my dress would have disappeared along with him.

“That is a very good question that will, unfortunately, have to wait to be answered later,” Dad says with a sigh of disappointment. “Right now, we need to leave the premises before that man comes back with the authorities.” He gently wraps his arm around me and guides me toward the opposite end of the alley from where the man had gone.

Unfortunately, we are not fast enough to escape. “The only place you’ll be going is the Gallows!” the man growls at us again, this time with a large group of police bobbies in tow. He then turns to one of the bobbies—one with a more professional looking uniform with extra badges, including one that says ‘Chief of Police’ on the front—and says, again pointing accusingly at us, “Officer, arrest these villains! They killed my wife, my beloved Mary! I saw it with my own eyes! They stabbed and killed her right in front of me!”

Ugh, seriously? I want to friggin’ punch this guy!

“What?” I say, feeling greatly offended. “That’s a lie! That’s complete and utter bullshit! We didn’t kill her!”

“Says the murderer literally covered in blood!” the bastard glares at me as four bobbies approach and surround us, one of them with his weapon—a large club of some sort—gripped tightly in hand.

I’ve had enough of this jackass. “I told you, asshole,” I continue screaming as the bobbies restrain us and clap us in handcuffs, “this isn’t her blood! It’s Jack the Ripper’s! He tried to kill me after he killed your wife! We tried to save her! Why are you too dumb to not see tha—?”

“Nova!” Dad yells at me in a warning tone. “Be quiet!” But I’m not finished yet.

I am about to say something more when the Chief of Police yells over us, “Enough! You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have a right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you.”

“That will not be necessary, Chief,” an unfamiliar female voice speaks over the crowd of bobbies. “An attorney has already been appointed. In fact, I am appointing myself as their attorney.” A few bobbies back away to let a veiled woman through, dressed in all black; though there is something strange about her face under the veil, which takes on a green tinge.

Dad sighs in relief, apparently recognizing the woman. “Madame Vastra! Blimey, am I glad to see you! Your timing couldn’t have been better!”

“And your timing couldn’t have been worse, old friend!” she snaps back in an accusing tone, like she’s angry with him for something he had (or hadn’t) done in the past.

Ooh! Burn! I can’t help thinking in my head as a response to their tense interaction. I then realize that Dad had named the woman ‘Madame Vastra,’ and I wonder if this is the woman—the Silurian—that he told me about earlier.

‘Yes, Nova,’ Dad confirms telepathically to me, ‘this is the friend I told you about. The Veiled Detective of Paternoster Row, Madame Vastra.’

“It’s alright, Chief Halloway,” the veiled woman, Madame Vastra, says calmly. “I shall be taking it from here.”

The Chief immediately shakes his head. “Madame, I’m afraid I can’t let you take them. They’ve been accused of murder, and I have to see to it that they are properly interrogated.”

“And that they receive proper medical attention,” the bobby holding me adds, who had been holding me much too tightly by my injured shoulder. “The girl is injured badly, sir. She is bleeding profusely from her right shoulder.” He then holds out his hand, which is covered in my blood from having touched my shoulder this whole time. He stares at the rusty-orange color curiously, commenting, “With a very unusual blood color.”

His comment makes me cringe in fear, worrying that they’ll discover Dad’s and my secret to not being human solely based on the color of my blood on his hands.

Madame Vastra must have somehow sensed my nervousness because she suddenly speaks up and says, “I insist, gentlemen. I will see to it that this man and his companion are treated well under my care. I will even interrogate them myself once they’re back to full health. If anything goes south, I shall alert you and your men. You have my word.”

The Chief is silent for a minute, staring suspiciously at us, before he reluctantly agrees with a wave of his hand, “Very well. Release them!” The bobbies hesitantly begin un-cuffing us.

“And be sure to give Mr. Langley my sympathies,” Vastra adds, nodding to the man, who continues to stare accusingly at us.

After hearing that the bobbies are releasing us, Mr. Langley scowls at us, saying incredulously, “You’re just going to release these scumbags? After all the evil they’ve done? Unbelievable!” He then says after making eye contact with me, “You won’t get away with this! I’ll make sure you rot in Hell! There will be justice for my beloved! One day!” His words immediately make me think of the school intruder’s words: ‘She will be ours! One day!’

“That will be all, Mr. Langley,” the Chief speaks up again before he orders the other bobbies to attend to the poor woman’s dead body. He has a brief interaction with Vastra—Vastra murmuring something about whether or not they’ve found ‘her’ yet, to which the Chief shakes his head and assures her that they will keep looking—before he sends Vastra away to take care of us.

“Thank you, Madame Vastra,” Dad says to her after the bobbies are out of earshot. “Truly, from the bottoms of my hearts. I don’t know where we’d be if you hadn’t shown up when you did.”

“On your way to the Gallows, I should think,” she replies with a shrug. “And ‘thank yous’ are not necessary. You asked me to meet you here, and I answered your call.” She then lowers her voice to a pointed whisper. “Unlike you, who decided to answer my calls late. An entire week late, I might add. Point taken, I hope.” Her statement makes Dad go silent, feeling immensely guilty.

“Awkward,” I can’t help murmuring under my breath to myself.

“Shall we?” Vastra says, gesturing toward the end of the alley.

Dad and I begin following the Veiled Detective. However, I am stopped by a strange sense—a sense of being watched from behind. I turn back around to see a transparent, brunette woman, dressed in a hospital gown, staring at me pleadingly. I am momentarily startled to see the woman.

“Doctor!” the woman calls out to me, her voice sounding like an echo, like she is near and far at the same time.

“Who are you?” I frown at her, feeling slightly creeped out by her presence.

“Doctor!” she repeats in a more desperate tone, and it seems like she’s speaking toward me, like she thinks I’m her personal doctor, but I’m obviously not. I’ve never even met this woman.

I shake my head at her. “I’m not—!” I start to say before I’m suddenly interrupted.

“Nova!” Dad calls from behind me. “What are you doing? Who are you talking to?”

I turn back to him for a second, startled by his sudden presence. I then turn back to the ghostly woman only to find her gone. I frown, looking around in confusion. “There was…” I start to say, but I can’t seem to get any other words out.

What exactly do I say? ‘There was a ghost of a hospital patient that called to me from beyond the grave, mistaking me for her personal doctor?’ Yeah, like anyone would believe that.

Or perhaps she wasn’t calling out to her personal doctor, but rather the Doctor—my father. Her face did look somewhat familiar. She looked strikingly similar to the woman in the ‘missing persons’ poster with the name ‘Jenny Flint.’ Could that have been her—the ‘Paternoster Gang’ member?

“Come on,” Dad says in an insistent tone, clearly oblivious to my confusion, “we need to go with Vastra. We can’t wander off anymore, you understand. We need to find out what’s really going on here. Something tells me you didn’t just fight a ghost back there.” He then turns back to head toward the end of the alley where Vastra is waiting patiently for us.

I turn back around to see if there is any evidence of the ghostly woman, but there is none; not even the bobbies seemed aware of her presence. Only I was.

But why? Whoever this woman is, why would she only appear to me? How could I possibly help her—someone who may now be dead?

“Nova!” Dad calls to me in a more urgent tone, forcing me to forget everything about the woman and follow.

“Coming!” I call back as I reluctantly do just that.

Chapter Text

Once I catch up to Dad, we are met with a large black horse-drawn carriage parked on the side of the road. Madame Vastra is already seated inside the carriage, and before I climb inside, I catch a glimpse of familiar purple armor under the cloak of the driver, whose face I can’t get a good look at because of Dad gently and hastily pushing me toward the opposite seat from Vastra. Once we get settled, with Dad sitting on my right and Vastra sitting across from me, she commands the driver—calling him by the name ‘Strax’—to take us to her house, and the driver obliges in a familiar voice that takes me back in time to Laser Tag and Contraxia.

I can’t help but laugh. If the driver really is the other Paternoster Gang member, Strax, then one thing is very clear, and something I never even thought would happen to me ever in my life: We are being chauffeured through the streets of Victorian London in a horse-drawn carriage by a Sontaran.

More than that, I am sitting in a horse-drawn carriage with two aliens (not counting myself): my father, the Doctor, a Time Lord from the long-lost planet Gallifrey, and a forty-year-old-looking lizard woman. I literally mean ‘lizard woman,’ because her face, now uncovered, is scaly and green, exactly like a lizard.

Just when you thought things couldn’t get any weirder, right?

All strangeness aside, I glance around the interior of the carriage in wonder and awe.

“What is it?” Dad asks curiously, raising an eyebrow at me.

“Nothing,” I say, shaking my head. “It’s just, I’ve never ridden in a carriage before. It’s so cool to ride in one, especially through Victorian London. I still can’t get over the fact that I’m in Victorian London. It’s just as how I imagined it would be from all the photos I’ve seen in my history textbooks.” Throughout my childhood, I often wondered what it would be like to live in this time-period, wearing Victorian clothes, living in a rich Victorian house, riding along in Victorian horse-drawn carriages… Oh, I could go on.

“Yes, it’s all very nice,” Dad sighs in a tone like he’s been to Victorian London so many times that it’s become like a second home to him, and he’s no longer as impressed with its extravagance as he was when he first visited. He then reaches out to me, specifically toward my injured shoulder, and says, “Come here. I need to wrap your shoulder. You’re still bleeding.”

“You don’t need to,” I say, leaning away from him. “I can heal it on my own. I’ll just use my energy, no big deal.” I then look uncertainly to Vastra. “Uh, she knows about our regen energy, right?” Calling it ‘regen energy’ is way less time-consuming than calling it by its proper name.

“Yes, she is aware of it,” he sighs again, “but you shouldn’t use it, certainly not in broad daylight.”

“Why?” I frown. “No one will see it if I close the curtains, and it’ll be much easier and faster than just bandaging it. Besides, a power like this, it shouldn’t go to waste.”

This was one of the major things that bothered me as a kid. When I developed my powers shortly after my first regeneration, I wanted to use them from the get-go, but I was never allowed to at any time in my life. This highly angered me, making me believe that it was totally unfair to be born with these powers but never be allowed to use them. Of course, this was before I found out about the Vokanari and their twisted schemes, but still, I didn’t want my powers to go to waste, to never be used. Back then, I believed that I was given these powers for a reason, and I wanted to find out what that reason was and fulfill it. It wasn’t until after I met the Doctor and began traveling with him that I realized what my powers were for. He planned—plans—to teach me the ways of his people, the Time Lords, so that I may take over for him when it came time for him to pass on, and to use my powers and knowledge to do good in the universe. Since I discovered that my energy could heal people, I suspected that was what my father wanted me to do for the universe, but from what he just said seconds ago, this wasn’t what he had planned for me.

“Nova, you don’t understand,” he says as if to add onto the thoughts in my head. “Regeneration energy is not something that should be wasted. It should only ever be used as a last resort; it’s not something that should be used whenever you feel like it. You are only given a fixed amount of regenerations, and once they’re all used up, you can’t ever regenerate again. We’ve discussed this before.”

“I know, but—” I argue, but he interrupts me.

“Nova…” he says in a pointed tone. “Don’t argue with me. Sit still and let me wrap your shoulder. We’ll take care of it properly once we get to Madame Vastra’s.” He then turns to Vastra with a shrug, “Teenagers; am I right?” Vastra doesn’t say anything, only nods. I scoff under my breath, feeling greatly offended, and look away from my father as he begins tearing off the sleeve of my dress to get at my injury.

Geez, that was so uncool! How could he do that? How could he embarrass me like that in front of his ‘lizard’ friend, someone I’ve never met before? Because he’d done that, I’ve given her a bad first impression of myself. Not that I can sense her thoughts since we’re not telepathically linked, but from the look on her face, she must think I am highly irresponsible, refusing to listen to my father, and blah, blah, blah. I am also getting the sense from her expression that she is wondering why the Doctor chose an irresponsible teenager to travel with him; clearly she doesn’t know who I am yet.

An awkward silence fills the carriage as the Doctor takes out a pocket-sized First-Aid Kit from inside his coat and prepares to use its contents on my shoulder. I wouldn’t be surprised if the small First-Aid Kit is bigger on the inside, like everything else he owns.

The silence is broken when Vastra says, “I see you’ve acquired yet another companion, Doctor. May I ask what had become of your former companion, Miss Oswald?”

“Who?” Dad asks at the same time as the exact same question popped into my own head.

“Clara?” Vastra frowns, like it should be obvious. “Clara Oswald? Your ‘Impossible Girl?’ You saved her after she ran into your timestream on Trenzalore. Surely, you remember.”

Whoa, whoa, whoa, back up! Did she just say ‘Trenzalore?’ Like, she’s actually been to Trenzalore? With us?

“‘Impossible Girl?’” Dad says, equally shocked as I am. “‘Timestream on Trenzalore?’ My timestream on Trenzalore?”

Something in the back of my mind suddenly alerts me that we’re about to hear some major spoilers in the next millisecond and a half. “Yeah, sorry to butt in,” I interrupt, “but we’ve actually never been to Trenzalore; in fact, we’re doing everything we can to avoid that place, seeing as…well…there’s this whole ‘prophecy’ dealio about it. That being said, I can’t help but notice that you seem to be talking as if you guys have already been there. In which case, this sounds like a ‘spoiler’ thing to me, seeing as…well…we’ve never been there…at least as of yet. Although now that you’ve spoiled it for us, I guess we have no choice but to go there now.”

Okay, so that last statement may have sounded a bit rude, but everything I said is the truth! We really haven’t been there; and frankly, neither of us want anything to do with that place. From what Vastra said, it sounds like a bad place; even the name sounds sinister.

Also, I’m surprised to hear that my father seems destined to go there with some other girl—this ‘Clara’ person—and not me; not that I’m jealous to be replaced with another companion I will probably never meet. I am also a bit hurt that Vastra seems to favor Clara more than she favors me, hence why she asked about Clara (Nope, still not jealous!). I mean, I know Vastra and I had only just met, but come on.

“Yes! Ooh! Yes!” Dad says, suddenly catching on. “Now I see! Good catch, Nova! Yes, this is definitely a topic we should drop immediately. Absolutely no more talk of Trenzalore, nor this ‘Impossible Girl.’ As I’ve explained to Nova before, foreknowledge is dangerous.”

“Of course,” Vastra nods. “I did not realize this to be what you call a ‘spoiler.’ Apologies for not asking where you were in your timeline beforehand.”

“It’s quite alright, Vastra,” Dad assures her. “Just don’t mention it again.”

“Noted,” she says with a nod. She then glances to me with a slight smile. “Forgive me, Miss…Nova, was it? I don’t think we have been properly introduced. I am Madame Vastra. I am well acquainted with your friend, the Doctor, here.”

I am suddenly rendered speechless, taken aback. “Oh,” I say, shifting in my seat uncomfortably and glancing between she and Dad. “He’s…actually not my friend. He’s actually…”

‘Go ahead,’ Dad says telepathically to me, nodding his approval. ‘Tell her. It’s alright.’

I sigh, still feeling uncomfortable, and admit, “He’s my dad.”

Vastra’s pale-blue eyes widen in shock. “The Doctor is your father?”

“Yeah,” I say with a nod. That’s when I notice Vastra’s look, like she’s trying to figure out how I even exist. “Does that surprise you?” I ask her, still feeling awkward.

“It…was just three years prior,” she says, evidently puzzled. “She’s just a toddler.”

And, what, you expect me to stay that way, several years later? I can’t help thinking in my head. I’m not Yoda. I’ve grown up, just like every other normal person.

“This is her, Vastra,” Dad says, gesturing to me. “This is my daughter, Nova, all grown up. I brought her back.”

I frown at this. “Actually, you didn’t. Mom did.” I then start thinking about her but immediately stop myself.

“Yes, but she brought you back to me,” he says with a smile as he finishes patching up my shoulder, “and I couldn’t have been more grateful.”

Vastra nods, also smiling at me sincerely. “Ah, yes, now I see the resemblance through her eyes. Forgive me for not realizing before. My, has she grown.”

“Yes,” Dad says again, rubbing me gently on my back. “She’s grown into a beautiful young woman. Just like her mum.”

Oh, god… Mom…

I can’t help squeezing my eyes tightly shut and lowering my head down to face the floor, not wanting to talk any further about her untimely fate. In fact, I don’t want to talk about her at all. The less I think about her, the less stressed I’ll feel.

No surprise, Vastra and Dad don’t make it easy. “Yes, she does look much like the professor,” Vastra comments. “I presume it was earlier in her timeline when you two…” She then makes a series of hand gestures to indicate how I came into the universe.

As if this day couldn’t get any more awkward.

Dad nods uneasily, glancing at me. “Yes, you are correct on that.” He then straightens his bow tie uncomfortably. “Unfortunately, Professor Song is not with us at the moment. She’s currently out scouring all of Space-Time for the Silence; or ‘Vokanari,’ now that they’re called, which, of course, is an anagram of ‘Kovarian,’ their leader.”

Vastra nods. “Yes, I remember her quite well,” she says with a hint of contempt in her voice. “Are you sure that is wise, Doctor, considering the professor’s history with them?”

Dad sighs with a shrug. “I thought that exact thing myself, but she insisted that she knows what she’s doing, and I trust her. No surprise, the Vokanari targeted Nova’s human guardians, and River has gone out to search for them. We should be hearing from her soon, or she’ll come looking for us and give us the details in person.”

If she doesn’t decide to kill us first, I can’t help thinking to myself, and I greatly hate myself for it, when she finds us.

If she finds us…

Vastra glances to me and frowns at me suspiciously, like she senses my thoughts and is uncertain as to why I’m behaving in this manner. “I see,” she says, glancing back to my father. “Well, let us hope you will hear from Professor Song in the near future.” She then turns back to me, this time putting her full attention on me. “Ah, pardon me for asking, Miss Nova—”

“Please,” I say, feeling a little weirded out to be called ‘Miss’ before my name (Don’t ask; I’m really not sure why). “just call me Nova. That’s fine.”

“Nova…” she corrects herself before continuing. “Pardon me for asking, but I am curious as to whether or not you remember my face as well as my associates. Perhaps your father told you the story of how we aided him in saving you from the Silence’s foul clutches when you were just born.”

I shake my head apologetically. “No, I’m sorry, I don’t remember you.” I’m pretty sure I would remember meeting a lizard woman in my life, needless to say; even if I had, that wouldn’t be something I would forget. “But Dad has told me a little about you guys—your ‘Paternoster Gang.’ You solve crimes, very much like Sherlock Holmes, which is so cool!” I laugh, suddenly feeling awkward. “Sorry, I’m a huge nerd. I’ve always wanted to be like Sherlock Holmes, solving crimes and all. He also told me you guys aren’t human—well, two of you aren’t human.”

“You are correct,” Vastra nods. “I am a lizard woman from the Dawn of Time, and my driver is Strax, a…questionable individual.”

Her words instantly make me snort. “He’s a Sontaran,” I nod as well. “Yeah, I’ve met a few Sontarans. Not the friendliest species.” At this, Vastra raises a skeptical eyebrow, and I swiftly add, “But I’m sure Strax is...uh…nice.”

God, could I give a worse impression than this?

“Yes, I’m sure he is,” Vastra says uncertainly with her eyebrow still raised. “And Jenny… Well, she’s…” She then pauses, feeling uncomfortable for reasons unknown to me, but continues anyway, “She’s human, like most of the inhabitants on this planet.”

Then again, maybe it’s to do with Jenny’s disappearance. There were tons of posters of her on the walls all over the city, several of which we continue to pass by now.

Dad must’ve sensed my thoughts (When does he not?), because he says immediately, “Speaking of which, I was just about to ask about Jenny. Strangely enough, Nova and I found a ‘missing persons’ poster of her on the street before you picked us up. In fact, there were loads of ‘em.”

Vastra nods. “Yes. Strax and I created those posters and put them up all over the city, hoping someone would help us find her.” She then glares accusingly at Dad. “Since you refused to answer my distress calls on time. I had to take matters into my own hands.”

Dad sighs guiltily. “I am sincerely sorry about that. I would’ve answered sooner, but I had to take care of Nova. I couldn’t leave her, unattended.”

“It’s true,” I nod, taking his side. “It’s a really long story. Long story short, he was killed during our last adventure, which was actually my first, and I brought him back to life with my regeneration energy, but it left me in a coma for three days straight. It sucked; the absolute worst trip ever.” A trip I never ever want to experience again. I sincerely hope the spirits of those pirates, especially Multi-Eyes, are rotting in Hell right about now.

Vastra nods again. “I understand. I would have preferred you had sent some kind of message that this was happening, but at least you finally answered today. That is all that matters.”

“So what happened to Jenny?” Dad asks eagerly.

“And what did you mean by ‘fear taking over the world?’” I add with equal eagerness.

Vastra shakes her head and sighs sadly. “I do not know what happened to Jenny; only that she has been missing for over a week, having vanished without a trace during one of our investigations. It is the sole reason for which I have summoned you here.”

“So you think she disappeared because of one of these ‘fears?’” I ask with a raised eyebrow. How could someone’s own fear kidnap them? That doesn’t make any sense!

“Precisely,” Vastra nods. “As absurd as this may sound to you, somehow, someone somewhere is using Bio-Nanotechnology to make people’s fears come to life in the literal sense. It started off here in London, until a week ago, around the time of Jenny’s disappearance, when the fears began spreading to the rest of the world.”

“Yes, the sonic picked up strong readings of Bio-Nanotechnology all over the planet,” Dad points out with a nod.

“There’s also this tingling sensation in the air,” I add while scratching my arms up and down, “like what you’d feel when standing close to or inside a force field.” In fact, the bizarre sensation seems to have heightened a bit since we got here.

“Yes!” Vastra exclaims, pointing at me. “You are absolutely right, my dear! I see you have inherited your father’s cleverness.”

I shrug, suddenly feeling awkward. “It…could just be a ‘Time Lord’ thing.”

Dad shakes his head in disagreement. “No, she’s right. You absolutely inherited your cleverness from me. You couldn’t have inherited it from anyone else. As for your stubbornness in refusing to let me tend to your shoulder, you definitely inherited that from your mum.”

I raise an eyebrow at him. “Anyone can be clever. It doesn’t prove I inherited it solely from you. Technically, cleverness isn’t something one can inherit. You can grow up to be as clever as someone else, but that’s not an inheritance; it’s just a quality that’s shared between the two people, same with stubbornness.” I then frown. “And what are you talking about, I inherited my stubbornness from Mom? You are just as stubborn as she is, maybe even more so! Who’s to say I ‘inherited’ my stubbornness from you as well?”

“As I was saying…” Vastra speaks up, and Dad and I awkwardly pause to look at her. “We believe that the beings responsible for the fears coming to life are the ones who installed the force field in the first place. The Bio-Nanotechnology within the force field is what is causing everyone’s fears to come to life, which brings me to my theory of what may have happened to Jenny. All those ‘missing persons’ posters you saw hung all over the city, including posters of Jenny… I believe those people were specifically targeted based on their level of fear. Some people are more afraid of certain things than others, and I believe that those who are deathly afraid of certain things are the ones who went missing.”

“So why was Jenny targeted?” Dad asks, puzzled. “I never knew her to be afraid of anything.”

Vastra nods. “I thought the very same thing.” She then pauses, feeling disturbed. “Then again, no one is ever afraid of nothing. Everyone is afraid of something.” She sighs sadly. “She has been gone for so long. I’m afraid I’ll never see her again. I’m desperate, Doctor. I want her back.”

Her words send a wave of sadness rushing up my spine. She must really care about Jenny, especially if she’s that worried about her. Also, the fact that I may have seen Jenny—or rather, her ghost—in the alley with the bobbies makes my hearts ache with guilt. If that really was Jenny’s ghost that’d appeared to me back there, that means Jenny must’ve died somehow, perhaps from her own fear.

Oh, God… Jenny might be dead (in fact, she might’ve been for days), and Vastra doesn’t even know! How do I tell her? Or is it even right to tell her at all? Dear god, what do I do?

“Don’t worry, Vastra,” Dad says in an assuring tone. “We’ll find Jenny and everyone else who’s gone missing since this all started. We’ll end this together. You have my word.”

Vastra sighs before continuing, “We also believe that the device used to create the force field is somewhere in this city, since the fears began here and later expanded to the rest of the world. We believe that if we shut down that device, the fears would stop.”

“Right,” I nod understandingly, “but in order to shut that thing down, we have to find it first, don’t we?” We obviously can’t destroy something without knowing where it is first, or even how it works; even the dumbest person alive would know that.

“Right!” Dad exclaims with a clap of his hands. “So we find that device, shut it down, which shuts the force field down, save the missing people, including Jenny, and make sure none of this ever happens again.”

I raise a skeptical eyebrow at this. Yeah, Dad, like it would really be that simple.

“Hang on, Dad, we’re getting ahead of ourselves here,” I say. “Like I said, we don’t know where this device is or even how it works. We need to know the dangers of how this thing works before we just go blowing it up. I mean, for all we know, maybe just blowing it up could end up blowing up the whole planet, or something. Not to mention that we don’t know for sure if there’s a device, or devices, involved. You believe that this is what’s happening, but we haven’t seen enough proof.”

“We’ve already seen proof!” Dad says in an obvious tone. “That man you fought earlier in the alley—that was Jack the Ripper, but that wasn’t really him. It couldn’t have been him since he’s supposed to be dead.”

“Yes, your father is correct,” Vastra nods to me. “The murderer known as ‘Jack the Ripper’ is no more. I should know, for I was the one who killed him.”

“You killed Jack the Ripper?” I say, raising another skeptical eyebrow.

Dad nods. “Vastra didn’t just kill him. She had him for dinner.”

“Quite literally,” Vastra says with a slight smirk. “I found him quite stringy, but tasty all the same.”

“Oh,” I say, and I can’t help scrunching up my face in disgust. So Vastra is a heinous cannibal-lizard from the Dawn of Time, and we’re literally sharing a Victorian carriage with her, not knowing whether she’ll attempt to eat us too. Yup, just another normal day at the beach.

To escape the awkwardness, I swiftly change the subject, saying, “So, if that wasn’t the real Jack the Ripper, then that was actually—”

“That was someone’s fear come to life, yes,” Dad finishes. “Makes sense since no one knows whether Jack the Ripper truly met his end. Well, no one besides Vastra, anyway.”

I am still greatly confused. “So, when I killed him, and he vanished…did I actually kill him; like, for real, kill him?” That would make sense as to why my dress is still covered in his blood, right?

Dad shakes his head. “No. Well, yes, but no. When you ‘killed’ him, you did temporarily end his life, but not long after he vanished, he must’ve just rematerialized in another part of town.”

“Like when you die in a video game and respawn at some checkpoint,” I say, nodding understandingly, “except here the ‘checkpoint’ is random.”

“Exactly,” Dad confirms.

“That, or when that poor woman took her final breath, Jack the Ripper ‘died’ with her,” Vastra adds her own theory. “When a person dies, their worst fear dies with them.”

“Okay, that makes sense,” I say, nodding again. “But multiple people can share the same fear. Surely that woman wasn’t the only one who was deathly afraid of Jack the Ripper, believing he was somehow still alive, hence why he came after her.” There had to be another Jack the Ripper running around in another part of the world, and the one I fought was just one of many other Jack the Rippers.

“Yes, Nova, you are absolutely right,” Vastra nods, evidently impressed with me again. “Unfortunately, certain fears cannot truly go away, so long as there are those who share that fear. Fear makes companions of all of us.”

Dad’s eyes widen in amazement. “‘Fear makes companions of all of us.’ Blimey, I haven’t heard that phrase since I was a boy.”

I suddenly have a disturbing realization. Vastra and Dad had just confirmed my theory about Jenny and why I’ve been seeing what I now believe to be her ghost. “Hang on!” I exclaim. “So, you’re basically saying people can be killed by their own fears? Like that woman, here’s assuming Jack the Ripper was her fear?”

Vastra nods again. “Disturbingly enough, yes. Thousands of people around the world have died in just the last week alone from their fears coming to life or having been killed by other people’s fears. If they don’t die of fright first, the fear itself would certainly kill them. Just yesterday, there was a report of a hundred-foot-tall tarantula that ravaged an entire town in China within just a handful of hours. They said it was the worst disaster in history since 1851, when a giant metal man stomped through the streets of London Town, crushing ten-story buildings in its wake.”

Dad nods, evidently knowing what she’s talking about. “Ah, yes, the infamous Cyber King. You won’t see another one of those for a while. That metal monstrosity was destroyed long ago in the Time Vortex by yours truly.” He then smirks in a ‘yeah, that’s right, kids, I actually did that’ manner.

I chuckle, genuinely impressed. “That was you? I’m not surprised. At this point, anything I read about in history, I’ll believe that you had some kind of involvement. Every single time!” Classic Dad.

“Just you wait, Nova,” he chuckles back, “that’ll be you someday.”

I scoff loudly. “Pfft, yeah right! I don’t plan on being that big of a show-off.”

Vastra interrupts us again, steering us back on topic. “The bottom line is, if we don’t stop these fears soon, many more people are going to die. People who don’t deserve to die. You are the only person I know who has any chance of stopping this, Doctor.”

Wow, I can’t help scoffing in my head, rolling my eyes, and what am I, invisible?

“Here’s assuming our own fears don’t consume us first,” I point out. “I’ve been inside Dad’s head. I’ve seen some terrible things.” Something that, again, makes me think of Mom in that cursed chair in that cursed server room in that cursed Library.

“He’s shown you The Last Great Time War?” Vastra says in genuine shock. “I suppose, as his daughter, he has a right to show you…”

What? I scream to myself in my head. Why would I want to see a war?

I shake my head. “No, he didn’t show me the War. He showed me…something else. Something I’d rather not talk about. He’s only told me stories about the War; it’s not something I wish to see for myself.” Who the hell would want to, anyway?

Dad shakes his head in agreement. “Trust me, Nova, you don’t want to see it.”

“I wasn’t asking you to, and I never will,” I say honestly, shaking my head back at him. “But even if I did ask you to show me, I get the feeling I’m not gonna be able to look at you the same way, and I don’t wanna look at you like that. I only just got to know you, to trust you, and I don’t wanna lose that trust. I love you, Dad, and I always will, no matter what.” Nothing and no one is going to ever change my mind.

Dad smiles as he gently pulls me into a hug. “I love you too, my Nova. You don’t have to be afraid for me.”

“I’ll always be afraid for you,” I say, squeezing him tightly. “I lost you once, and I don’t wanna lose you again. Not ever.”

The very thought of losing him again makes me think of the Vokanari. For a long time now, I’ve been constantly worrying that they could be literally anywhere in Space-Time; and who’s to say they could be here in Victorian London? As I stare out the carriage window, I can’t help but worry that I’ll see one of those sickos jump out from behind the shadows and attempt to kill Dad again, exactly like how they mercilessly attacked my father-guardian, and how the pirates brutally beat my bio-father to death on that other planet. As I’ve said before, nothing and no one will be safe until they are all gone, starting with that ‘Kovarian’ woman.

My fear is confirmed when I suddenly see a familiar pale-faced male outside the carriage, peeking out from behind a dark corner of a side alley.

“Whoa!” I gasp and pull away from my father’s grasp. I open the carriage window and lean out toward the alley where I’d seen the familiar figure. Sure enough, I see him standing around the corner, smirking creepily at me. “Stop the carriage!” I yell as I pull back inside and struggle to open the carriage door.

“Nova!” Dad says, frowning in genuine confusion. “What’s wrong?”

Honestly, I am greatly confused. At first glance, the pale-faced figure looked strikingly similar to the pale-faced Vokanari member that attacked me in the modern alley; in fact, the road that which we are riding through looks similar to the modern road just outside the alley where I was attacked in the future. If the creep really is Voldemort the Vokanari Member, that’s impossible…right? Especially since Mom killed him. But that was a hundred-and-twenty years ago… Or rather, that will be a hundred-and-twenty years in the future.

Ugh, who cares! If that really is him, he’s clearly back, and he needs to be stopped! For good!

“He’s back!” I scream. “I don’t know why or how, but he is! Stop the carriage now! Shit, why won’t this thing open?!” I tug on the carriage door handle, but it doesn’t budge.

“I will do no such thing!” Vastra exclaims, evidently appalled at my outlandish (at least to her) behavior. “My dear, will you please just tell me what the matter is!”

“Finally!” I sigh in relief as I manage to pop the carriage door open. I position myself in the doorway, preparing to jump out while the carriage is still in motion, completely ignoring the wind blowing my hair in my face and the risk of injuring my shoulder further, knowing that absolutely none of that matters. The only thing that matters to me is taking down the Vokanari once and for all! All of them!

“Nova!” Dad yells in shock, seeing me about to jump. “What do you think you’re doing? Get back in your seat!”

At this point, I see the creeper slip behind the corner of the alley, daring me to follow him. “He’s getting away! I have to stop him!” Throwing all logic and safety aside, I jump out of the moving carriage, landing painfully on the ground in a barrel roll. The impact on the ground suddenly makes my injured shoulder tear, but I ignore it as I get back on my feet and run after the imposter.

“Nova!” Dad calls after me as the carriage is forced to a complete stop. “Get back here! It’s not safe!” He prepares to get out of the carriage, but I ignore him as I run right into the alley.

Here we go again, running through creepy alleys; only this time, I am chasing rather than being chased.

“Catch me if you can, little Time Tot,” the imposter taunts me as he waves to me from the opposite end of the alley before he slips behind the corner again. I continue chasing him through the strangely familiar maze of alleys until I finally catch up with him, who had apparently caught himself in a dead-end (Ha! That’s what you get, you cheeky charlatan!); however, he stands with his back to me.

Despite this strange behavior, I yell, panting, “You’ve got nowhere left to run, Voldemort! You’re at a dead-end! There’s no other way out!”

“That’s the idea, sweet-cheeks,” the man chuckles without turning around. “I meant for you to follow me here.”

At this point, I can feel my Time Lord ‘Spidey-Senses’ tingling, but I refuse to back down. “Turn around and face me properly!” I demand. “Let me see your face!”

The imposter slowly turns to face me, and I gasp. It really is him!

But it can’t be! He… He’s dead!

“No… That’s impossible! You’re dead! Mom killed you! I saw her! She shot you dead right in front of me!” I can see the perfect burned hole in his chest, still looking fresh as when Mom shot him the day we met—or rather, will meet, seeing as it won’t happen for another hundred-and-twenty years.

“I was dead,” the former Vokanari member and school intruder corrects me. He then gestures around the alley. “In fact, this was the very alley in which your mother killed me. Or rather, this is the very alley in which your mother will kill me, seeing as that will happen a hundred-and-twenty years from now. Or perhaps that was a hundred-and-twenty years ago? Depends on your perspective, I suppose. Time-Travel at its finest.”

He says that last bit like it’s a joke, but I don’t say anything in response, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of knowing that I know exactly what he’s talking about.

He then shrugs and continues. “In any case, now, I am back to finish what I started. To do what I should’ve done from the very start! Madame Kovarian is still highly interested in you, you know.”

“Yes, I’m aware,” I sigh, rolling my eyes. “I’ve heard this a gazillion-and-one times. Like I told all you sickos time and time again, ‘murderous psychopath’ would never look good on a résumé, certainly not mine. If you really thought I’d be willing to kill Dad for you, you’re eighteen years too late! I’ve spent a lot of time with him, and he’s not at all what you described. You described him as ‘evil,’ but he’s not even close. He’s a good man, and he will always and forever be a good man. Unlike you, who will forever be a dead man, as will all the rest of you sickos!” If I can’t have a normal life by giving up my Time Lord abilities, then maybe I’ll have a better shot by taking down the entire Silence organization; this way, my whole family, including my guardians, can have a normal life without worrying about being constantly hunted by them.

Voldemort chuckles. “You think you can stop us, but you have absolutely no idea how much our numbers have risen since our last meeting. Not even an army would be enough to take us down. You’re just a child!”

“You underestimate me!” I snap back. “Not to mention that you are wrong about everything—that entire prophecy, even me! From all your twisted experiments, you’ve been physically turning me into a weapon—a literal supernova—to kill my own father, but I was never the ‘weapon’ that would kill him. All along, I’ve been the weapon that would kill you. Your entire organization! That’s what your prophecy meant this whole time—‘Silence will fall’ because of you! Your ‘Silence’ organization—your ‘Vokanari’—will fall because you genetically engineered me to take all of you down; every single one of you! Mom may have originally been the one planned to kill my father for you, but she was always destined to fail. And so will I, at least in killing my own father. You wanna know why? Because I’ll always fail to kill him, because I was never trained to kill him; I was always trained to kill you! And I promise you, I will not fail in taking all you sons of bitches down! Not by a long shot!” I make my fists glow gold in that moment, and along with them the gold tinge in my vision. “You want proof? I can show you just how powerful I really am! I am not afraid of you!” I then realize that the Intruder/Vokanari member is my fear come to life, but I will conquer it once and for all!

Voldemort smirks at my declaration. “You may not be afraid of me personally, but I know who you’re truly afraid of. You want to know? Ask him.” He then nods behind me, and I briefly turn to see my father standing there, having caught up with me. I swiftly turn back to Voldemort as he continues with that disgusting smirk still plastered on his face, “I know about your telepathic connection with him; every Time Lord has one—rather, had one—with one another. That’s why we could never truly touch you while you were growing up, despite knowing where you lived in all that time. Your telepathic connection is strong; of course he would know all of your deepest, darkest fears. You want to know what those fears are, if you don’t already know them yourself…ask him sometime.”

I suddenly pause, realizing that he may actually be right. Dad can sense everything I’m thinking and feeling; who’s to say he can sense my fears as well? Perhaps he knows about Mom…

“Nova…” Dad says calmly. “Everything he’s saying to you is a lie. None of it is true. He’s not real. He’s just a projection—a mirage—one made real by your own thoughts. Don’t give in to it. Just walk away and come back with me. Madame Vastra needs us. Come.” I glance back at him, and I see him holding out a hand to me, encouraging me to take it.

I think about taking his hand when Voldemort suddenly interrupts me, snapping me back to full attention on him, and I almost forget that Dad is here. “There is still a lot about him that you don’t know. Deep down, you still don’t fully trust him. And why should you? He’s done terrible things—things you cannot even imagine. He killed his own people, manipulated his own friends into giving their lives for him. And soon he’ll do the exact same to you, his own daughter. What kind of a father does that to his own child?”

A part of me actually believes him. Dad told me about his other companions, and how he felt responsible for the deaths of some of them. Who’s to say something like this might happen to me one day, when we least expect it?

“Nova, don’t listen to him,” Dad says, this time sounding a bit more serious. “He’s trying to get under your skin. Don’t let him. He’s not real; he’s your fear come to life. Ignore him and come back to Madame Vastra with me. She needs us. Jenny and all those missing people need us. Come back with me, please.”

Again, I consider going with him when Voldemort interrupts me yet again. “Don’t be a fool, little Time Tot. You know where your place is in the universe. Don’t you want to save your human guardians? Your best friend? Your mother? Join us, and we’ll let them all go. We’ll leave your entire family alone. We’ll never harm them ever again.”

“Nova, please, don’t do this!” Dad begs, growing more desperate. “Don’t give in to this fear! Fight it!”

As much as I want to save my family, especially since Mom failed to save them, at this point, I feel like going with the Vokanari might be the only option. At this point, Dad and I are the only people who can save them now.

No, scratch that! I am the only one who can save them now. If the Vokanari spot Dad, they’ll kill him on sight, and I’m not going to let that happen. I’ll have a better chance of sneaking into their base and saving my family, including Mom. Even if I’m caught, they won’t kill me, since they want me alive to kill Dad. However, instead of killing Dad, I’ll kill them instead. Like I said, Silence will fall because of me; or, to rephrase, I will silence the Silence. Forever.

If anyone should be afraid here, it should be ol’ Voldy of the Vokanari. In other words, he should be afraid of me.

“I do know where my place is in the universe,” I say, glaring daggers at him, “and it’s right next to the Doctor, my father. Go rot in Azkaban, Voldemort!” I then turn on my heel and prepare to walk away with my father, turning my back on the former Vokanari member—rather, the entire Vokanari organization. They can all rot in Azkaban for all I care.

“Then you leave me no choice!” he growls behind us, and my sense of danger skyrockets in that moment. I turn back just in time to see him taking out a knife from his inner pocket and immediately throwing it at us without warning.

I quickly dodge the knife as it sails past me toward my father. Suddenly realizing this, I immediately reach out and somehow manage to catch the hilt of the knife. I momentarily stop and stare in shock at what had almost happened, at the sharp end of the knife just inches from Dad’s chest. I don’t even think twice as I turn my head back to face the former school intruder and Vokanari member, glaring at him.

Big mistake.

I don’t even wait for his reaction. I immediately throw the knife back at him with all my strength, and he is knocked into the wall from the impact of the knife impaling him straight in the existing hole in his chest. He grunts in pain and collapses to the ground, dead, this time for good, fresh blood pooling around him.

I stare at his body with pride, knowing I bested another Vokanari member. Although last time, Mom was the one who actually killed him, but I finished the job, even if this version of him wasn’t real.

That’s two members down; a gazillion-plus more to go.

I suddenly feel a sharp pain in my shoulder, and I scream, collapsing on my knees, my vision fuzzy and my head throbbing.

“Nova!” Dad cries as he rushes to me and wraps his arms around me to steady me, sensing my weakness through our link.

“Dad…” I whimper in pain, clutching my shoulder. “It hurts…” God, it hurts so bad!

“I know, Nova; I’m sorry,” he says as he gently gathers me in his arms and carries me away from that cursed alley, again leaving the body behind. “Come on. Let’s get back to Madame Vastra.”

The more time that passes, the more lightheaded I feel. Despite everything, I can’t help but murmur jokingly to him, “Told you…you’d carry me back…after collapsing…from weakness.”

“Shut up,” I hear Dad quietly grumble before I am met with silence and darkness.

Chapter Text

For the next several minutes, I drift in and out of consciousness, even after we return to the carriage, where a nervous-looking Madame Vastra is waiting for us. She struggles to keep me upright and awake while Dad deals with his own struggle to patch up my shoulder again, the wound having reopened after my initial jump. Once my shoulder is fully patched up, I begin to gradually feel less woozy; though the pain is still present, but even that eventually dies down a bit.

I am able to stay conscious once we arrive at a magnificent multi-story house in the middle of the square, titled ‘Paternoster Row’ in bold lettering and a large plaque labeled with the number ‘13.’

Dad half-drags, half-carries me out of the carriage and up to the stoop, where the cloaked driver stands waiting for us, standing straight like a soldier greeting his General. As we approach, the driver lets his hood fall, revealing a brown, wrinkly face, like the skin of a potato. This must be the Sontaran, Strax, I think to myself. I’d recognize that ugly, bulbous head anywhere.

“Do not attempt to escape or you will be obliterated!” he growls at us before attempting a smile—and a downright creepy one at that—and saying, “Enjoy your stay in this glorious domicile, Number Thirteen, Paternoster Row.”

I frown at this. If I weren't in so much pain, I would’ve laughed. I also would’ve laughed if the person who said those words wasn’t a Sontaran.

‘Enjoy your stay, even when I may or may not decide to kill you later.’ Ha! ‘A questionable individual,’ indeed.

After we enter the house, Vastra kindly instructs Strax to escort Dad and I to our rooms, and suggests that I use one of Jenny’s old rooms. Dad kindly declines the offer of having his own room, saying that he won’t be sleeping at any time during our stay, but thanks them anyway. With his arm around my waist to keep me upright, Dad helps me up the stairs as we follow Strax close behind (even though, needless to say, I would rather be as far away from the Sontaran as possible).

“This will be your room,” Strax says as he gestures to the first room on the landing. He then growls at me again and says, “Do not attempt to touch or destroy anything, or I will reduce your feeble form to atoms!”

“Um…thanks?” I say with a raised eyebrow. Who the hell talks like that?

“Thank you, Strax,” Dad says with a nod. “You may leave us alone for now. I will rejoin you momentarily.” Admittedly, hearing these words sends a wave of relief through my body. No freaking way am I going to be alone anywhere with a Sontaran.

“As you wish, sir!” the Sontaran says, standing at attention, again just like a soldier would when being acknowledged by his General. “I shall stand by to prevent any foul scum from tearing you and your hideous boy to pieces!”

‘Hideous?!’ ‘Boy?!’ What the actual freak?!

“Speak for yourself!” I snap at him, feeling great offense. “And that’s ‘girl’ to you!”

“How dare you speak to me that way!” Strax screams back at me, evidently more offended than I am. “I should tear you to pieces, you filthy little—!”

“Okay, that’s enough, Strax!” Dad interrupts him, stepping between us. “I said I’d be with you shortly. Please just leave us entirely. Go brew us some Earl Grey tea, or something. There’s a good chap!”

‘Earl Grey tea?’ You’re gonna make a Sontaran brew us some Earl Grey tea? Are you kidding me right now?!

I then chuckle to myself, thinking better. Then again, if that’s the best excuse he can come up with to get the Sontaran to leave, I’m all for it!

“But sir—” he attempts to protest, but Dad stops him.

“Go, Strax!” Dad says in an insistent tone. “I’ll be perfectly fine. I just need a moment with my daughter.”

Strax makes another pathetic attempt to protest, but he fails, sighing in defeat, “As you wish, sir. Sorry, sir.” He then glares accusingly at me as he walks away, grumbling about shooting annoying humans’ faces off, or something of the sort. I didn’t quite catch what he said, and frankly I don’t give a damn.

“I think that went pretty well; what do you think?” Dad chuckles slightly as he gently leads me into the cozy room and shuts the door behind him.

What do I think? I say in my head, seating myself on the side of the bed, before saying out loud, “That Strax is an ass, as well as a mega-twisted psychopath.”

Dad pauses, glancing at me, before admitting, “I was actually talking about how I handled that confrontation, but…yes, Strax can be a bit of a git sometimes. Like I said before, he doesn’t quite know how to be kind. All that talk about ‘reducing your body to atoms’ and such, that’s his way of being friendly. He doesn’t mean to literally destroy you; he’s just looking out for your well-being as well as others.”

“Well, that may be how you think he is,” I say with a shrug as he sits beside me, “but as far as I’m concerned, he was actually being serious about reducing my body to atoms.” I then think about the way the Sontaran looked at me when he passed by before going back downstairs, like he legitimately wanted to do just that. If he tries to come in my room and kill me in my sleep, I’ll be ready to turn him into a literal mashed potato. “I wouldn’t trust him as far as I could throw him. He’s as twisted as he is ugly.”

Dad chuckles again, saying, “You may be right about ‘ugly.’ You should’ve seen the Sontarans back in my early days. Blimey!” He then shakes his head as if trying to shake the vision out of his memory.

I chuckle as well; however, I can’t shake the disturbing thought out of my head. “I don’t think you’re here to give me a history lesson on Sontarans,” I admit with a sigh. He’s obviously here for a much more important reason—one that I honestly don’t have the nerve to talk about. One that makes me think of Mom.

“No,” he sighs as well. “Well, yes. Actually, I’m here to talk about Strax; specifically, what I want you to do with him.”

Oh, god. Here it comes.

“I think I see where this is going,” I groan, rolling my eyes. “You’re gonna ask me to trust him, aren’t you?” I then say before he can answer, “Well, before you answer, I’ve already made my decision eighteen years ago: Not. By. A. Longshot.” Seriously, how could he ask me to do such a thing? It’s literally impossible, especially a Time Lord to a Sontaran, and maybe even vice versa!

“Nova…” Dad sighs in exasperation, but I don’t want to hear it.

“No, I’m serious!” I snap at him. “I told you how I feel about Sontarans, and I’m never gonna change my opinion of them. One Sontaran turned out to be a bounty hunter sent out by the Vokanari to find me and turn me in to them.” This I found out, after I asked Dad what he and Mom did with that Sontaran at the arcade, while I was recuperating after my three-day-long coma. “And the other was just downright rude. And as far as I’m concerned, Mr. Potato Head downstairs could be just like the other two. In fact, he could be the other two, for all I know; I mean they do look identical to one another.” How that’s even possible, I have no idea. “Sorry if I’m sounding racist, but I just don’t trust Sontarans, any of them.”

Dad sighs again in contemplation. “I understand, Nova, I really do. You haven’t had any good experiences with Sontarans, I get that; but that doesn’t mean that all Sontarans are bad. Strax is truly a good person…although it might be because I had influenced him into becoming a better person. He was a real nasty piece of work back in the day.”

“I don’t care what he was like in the past!” I say seriously. “For all we know, he could still be like that, deep down, even to this day. All that ‘enjoy your stay’ crap was just an act.”

“It’s not an act,” Dad says, and he legitimately sounds honest. “I know what’s an act and what isn’t. Trust me, I’ve been around for twelve-hundred years. You’ll eventually learn to tell the difference as well. But Strax isn’t acting; and even if he was an actor, he’d be terrible at it. Because of me, he’s changed into a better person. A good person. I hope you can learn to see that, while we’re here. That’s the real thing I wanted to talk to you about.”

I scoff loudly, crossing my arms over my chest, wincing as I do. “Well good luck because I’m not. You’re not getting me to be friends with a Sontaran. That’s utter lunacy!”

A Sontaran being besties with a Time Lord?! Yeah right, like that’s ever gonna happen! I’m surprised Dad is friends with Strax, though I don’t know if their friendship is actually legit.

Dad sighs again. “I’m not asking you to be friends with Strax, although I would like for you to. I’m asking you to at least get along with him. Accept that he’s a true ally, just like Vastra. You trust Vastra, don’t you?”

“Yeah, a little,” I nod with a shrug.

“So learn to trust Strax the way you trust Vastra,” he says with a nod, having made his point. “Or better yet, learn to trust Strax the way you trust me.”

Dude! Don’t do that to me! That’s not fair!

“You’re my father,” I sigh. “That gives me automatic rights to trust you. Not to mention that we’re telepathically linked. I’m not telepathically linked with Strax, so I never know what he’s thinking. For all we know, he’s thinking of killing everyone in this house, maybe even the whole planet.” That seems to be all that Sontarans care about, from my past experience. If something doesn’t go their way, they immediately kill the person who did the wrong without a second thought.

“He’s thinking of battlefields and raging fires,” Dad says casually, “and how Nova is the most beautiful creature he’s ever laid eyes on, and imagines how she would look when standing in the middle of those battlefields and raging fires.” He suddenly pauses, realizing the last thing he said. “Ooh, sorry. That last one was meant to be a secret. Blimey, that’s an image I’ll never get out of my head. Ugh!” He then scrunches up his face in disgust and straightens his bow tie, even though it’s already perfectly straight.

What the freak did he just say?!

“What?!” I yell, appalled.

“His thoughts; not mine!” he defends himself while straightening his bow tie again.

“Yeah, but you read them!” I point out the painfully obvious. “Strax fancies me? Are you serious?!”

Please, for the love of God, tell me you’re joking! PLEASE!

But he’s not joking. “Again, his thoughts; not mine!”

I sigh, feeling no choice but to accept this bizarre truth. “Still, who in their right mind… Especially a Sontaran…” I then shake my head, feeling disturbed enough. “You know what, never mind. I don’t even want to know what goes on in that creep’s head. All I’m saying is that at the very least, it’ll be difficult for me to trust him, especially when I haven’t had any good experiences with Sontarans in the past, as you already know.”

“I know,” Dad smiles sympathetically, “but I want you to at least try. It’s not really that much to ask; in fact, it’s very little. I want you to at least try, if not for yourself then for me. Please, Nova.” He then brushes my cheek lovingly, and I unconsciously lean into his touch.

After a minute of silence, I sigh, giving in. “Okay, I’ll try.” Although I’m only doing it for him, not for myself, needless to say.

“Atta girl!” Dad says, smiling contently. “I know you have it in you.” He then pauses, sensing my great reluctance, and sighs. “I know. You don’t have to start tonight. In fact, I’ll give you the night off to at least think about it, and in the morning you can officially start then. For now, get some sleep.”

Really? Again with the resting?!

“Dad…” I groan, rolling my eyes.

“Don’t give me that,” he shakes his head back at me. “You need it. You’ve lost a lot of blood, but at least you’re not bleeding anymore.” He then does last-minute checks on the bandages around my shoulder. “You’re lucky it wasn’t your left shoulder,” he murmurs in a soft whisper.

“Why is that?” I ask with a puzzled frown. I’ve never had issues with my left shoulder in the past, so I don’t understand how or why that would be a big deal.

He then pauses, feeling flustered. “What? No! Sorry! Dunno why I said that. Forget I said that.” He says that like what he said before was meant to be an internal thought, but he’d accidentally said it out loud. Guess I get that from him, I think to myself, since this often happened to me when I was younger, and it still occasionally happens today. He then gets up and prepares to leave but sits back down again. “Actually, there is one more thing I want to talk to you about…”

Oh no, I think to myself, feeling nervous.

“About your mother.”

Fudgeknuckle!

At this point, my eyes are welling up with tears, and I feel a painful tightness in my chest and a heaviness in both of my hearts.

“You’ve been having visions,” Dad says knowingly, and I’m genuinely surprised he knows. “Of the Vokanari. You’ve seen them hurt your family. You sense their suffering. And you recently saw your mother, haven’t you? They’ve got her too…haven’t they?” He then pauses, sensing me struggling to fight back tears, as well as thoughts about Mom. “Tell me,” he says gently but also insistently.

I can’t hold back the tears any longer. “I can’t…” I sob, burying my face in my hands and having no choice but to allow the tears to spill. “I don’t…”

“Nova, I need to know,” he says calmly but also encouragingly. “What happened to River?” He uses her real name, like her being my mother isn’t nearly as important as her being his wife.

“I can’t tell you!” I sob uncontrollably at this point. “You’ve… You’ve got enough to worry about! This… Trenzalore…” As much as I hate to admit it, what happened to Mom isn’t anywhere close to being as important to me as Dad’s inevitable, as well as what I fear to be permanent, death.

Dad shakes his head and gently cups my face in his hands, forcing me to look him straight in his eyes. “None of that matters right now. Right now, I need to know what happened to River—my love, your mother. Please, Nova, tell me what you saw.”

But I can’t! I really can’t! I squeeze my eyes tightly shut, spilling tears down my cheeks. I attempt to pull away from him, but he holds my head firmly.

“Nova, look at me. Look at me.” I reluctantly look up at him with puffy eyes as he says in a calm voice, “It’s okay, I won’t be mad at you. I just need to know what you saw.” He then brushes a stray curl away from my tearstained face. “It’s alright, Nova, you can tell me. No need to be afraid.”

After a minute, I sigh and nod, wrapping my arms around Dad’s waist. “Take your time,” he says in an encouraging tone, rubbing my back up and down in an effort to calm me.

I remain silent for a minute before I reluctantly give in and confess everything. “I saw my parents and Haze. They were being held in a dungeon somewhere. And my dad…they attacked him. They electrocuted him with some probe, and he collapsed. I don’t know if he’s dead or alive. And Mom…” I bury my face in Dad’s chest, squeezing him more tightly. “She was strapped to some kind of operating table. There was an older woman there—the Eye-Patch Lady.”

“Madame Kovarian,” Dad nods understandingly as I continue.

“She taunted Mom, talking about how she failed to save my family, just like she failed to kill you. She said the only reason she was doing all of this was to get back at Mom for refusing to kill you at the lake. She planned to make Mom’s initial brainwashing return, only this time they were gonna make it return tenfold; in other words, absolutely nothing will make it go away this time; she is totally under their control now.” I frown, trying to remember more. “There was something else there too… A figure. A shadowy figure…but I can’t remember what it looked like. The only thing I do remember about it was that it somehow got into Mom’s head and repeatedly whispered commands, specifically to find us, apprehend us, and deliver us to Madame Kovarian without fail. Then, when they had us, they were going to make sure that I would succeed in killing you while everyone, including Mom, watches, making me become the so-called ‘New Woman to Kill the Doctor.’” After I finish, I sob more. “Dad, it was horrible. We shouldn’t have let her go. Now she’s gone.” At this point, I feel like I have truly lost a mother, and it feels just like how I felt when Dad took his final breath after we initially left Multi-Eyes behind on the dead planet during our previous adventure.

Dad attempts to calm me by combing his fingers through my tangled hair and pulling me closer against his body. “Shh… It’s alright, Nova. Your mother isn’t gone. She’s just…lost. Lost in her own mind. I’m sure we’ll find a way to bring her back. We’ll save her. Together.”

I really want to believe him, but I don’t know how. How can we save someone who’s so deep under one’s control, especially if they’ve used technology so advanced that it’s possible that Dad may not be able to break through it?

“I wanted to tell you,” I say honestly. “I really did. But…I didn’t know how.”

“It’s alright, Nova,” he says, continuing to caress my back. “Like I said, I’m not mad at you. I’m glad we could talk about it now. I sensed that there was more than just your injured shoulder that was weighing you down.”

“It’s gonna continue weighing me down until Mom, my guardians, and Hazel are safe,” I admit with a sigh.

“I understand,” he nods sincerely. He then hugs me and kisses my forehead lovingly. “Get some sleep now.” He gets up and prepares to leave the room when he suddenly stops in the doorway, shaking his head. “No! No! What am I saying?! Stupid Doctor! No, you can’t sleep, not without dreaming, which is totally unacceptable, considering the situation!”

I nod, suddenly understanding. “Oh, right! Because if I start dreaming, whatever I’m dreaming would come to life and start killing people.”

“Exactly,” Dad nods in confirmation.

Looking back, that does make sense. “Yeah, now that you mention it,” I admit, “I’m not so sleepy anymore.” I don’t want to be responsible for having an innocent person killed because of my dream come to life, even if it’s something random, like a fuzzy pink unicorn or something (not that there are such things as unicorns, but you know what I mean).

“No, you still need sleep,” Dad shakes his head. “Just…don’t dream.”

“I’m not sure if it’s possible to sleep without dreaming,” I shrug with a raised eyebrow, “but I’ll try.”

“Brilliant!” Dad smiles at me. “G’night then.”

“Goodnight,” I say uncertainly as he properly leaves the room, closing the door behind him.

Okay…that wasn’t weird at all, I think to myself as I listen to Dad’s footsteps fade away as he descends the stairs to the ground floor of the house.

After a few seconds, I feel the pain in my shoulder again, and I think about healing it with my energy, despite Dad’s protests. Once I manage to muster up the strength to at least stand on my feet without feeling too dizzy, I go into the bathroom and stare at myself in the mirror, seeing my face covered in dirt and grime, and my dress covered in two different colors of blood—red from Jack the Ripper and orange from my own blood.

Damn, I think to myself. I look like shit!

I then look at my bandaged shoulder in the mirror, thinking about healing it with my regeneration energy. I nervously glance toward the door, hoping Dad won’t walk in on me using my energy against his consent. In fact, I decide to go over to the door and lock it to make sure no one gets in at all. I go back to the mirror and shake my head at my reflection.

“Screw it!” I mumble under my breath.

I stare at my shoulder and will my energy to appear and heal the injury. After a few seconds of deep concentration, I see my shoulder eventually begin to glow gold. As the glow intensifies, I begin to feel the pain ebbing away as the injury heals. Once my shoulder stops glowing, I sigh in relief, no longer feeling any pain; however, I do feel more energetic, unlike when I use my energy to heal other people’s injuries.

“That feels so much better,” I sigh with content as I rip off the bandage to see my shoulder still slightly bloody but completely healed; there isn’t even a scar present.

I decide to change out of my bloody dress as I prepare a bath for myself. As the tub fills with warm water, I pick out a nightgown from the wardrobe in my room and undress before getting into the bath and soaking in the water. I scrub the dried blood off my body and watch as the water turns light pink in color. I then wash my hair before I get out of the bath, change into the nightgown, and wrap my hair in a towel.

After I finish in the bathroom, I wander around my bedroom, examining all of the various antiques (or what will be considered as antiques in the future) on the tables and bookshelves. I browse the bookshelf and pick out a book about the early eighteenth century and read it on my bed for a few hours, no longer feeling sleepy.

At about three in the morning, I start to feel bored from reading. I take out my phone from my purse and attempt to browse the Internet, only to get no Internet connection. I grunt. “Of course; no Internet because it doesn’t exist yet. Duh.” I then attempt to plug in my phone to charge, only to discover that there are no power outlets in the room, again something that won’t exist for another half a century. “Can’t charge my phone either.” Even if power outlets did exist in Victorian London, it would be amazing if I could literally charge my 21^st Century cellphone when plugging it into a 19^th Century wall. I’d probably be breaking over fifty laws of Time just by doing it, but it would be really funny regardless.

Instead, I spend time flipping through my photos and videos of my family, which make me think of home so badly. After watching a funny video of Hazel and I reacting to being in a new country shortly after our arrival in Modern Day London, I decide to make a commentary video of myself in Victorian London, thinking about sending it to Hazel when I next see her…when she’s safe from the Vokanari. I stand up, walk to the center of the room, and tap the ‘record’ button on the touchscreen.

Once my video begins recording, I begin talking. “Um…hi. I’m…not really sure how to do this. I mean, I know how to record videos; it’s just weird doing one right now, I guess. I just kinda felt like it, you know?” I laugh awkwardly. “I feel like a YouTuber right now, blogging about my life. That’s funny; here I am, talking about YouTube in 19^th Century London. Can you believe it? I’m actually in Victorian London! Check it out!” I then point my camera toward the window where I can see Victorian buildings in the distance. “No, this is not a green screen; this is the real deal! How freaking awesome is that? Imagine this scenery being what you see when you wake up in the morning every day; that would just be so cool, wouldn’t it? A part of me wishes we were born in this era…but then again, there’s no Internet or Wifi, which really sucks. Like, earlier, I tried plugging in my phone to charge, and I suddenly remembered that power outlets don’t yet exist. Imagine if they did; I’d probably be breaking over fifty laws of Time just for charging my 21^st Century cellphone in 19^th Century London. I’m not even sure if there are such things as ‘Laws of Time.’ I should ask Dad when I next see him. He’s probably downstairs, raiding the kitchen or something.”

I continue recording, no longer feeling uncomfortable. “Also, we are currently staying the night at a lizard-woman’s house. That’s right, you heard that correctly! The lizard-woman, Madame Vastra, runs the place, and she’s a private detective; you know, like Sherlock Holmes, which is really cool. And the weirdness doesn’t end there. Her butler is a Sontaran named Strax, who is the biggest, dumbest, pigheaded piece of shit that you will ever meet! Apparently, he can’t tell the difference between a boy and a girl; and I say that because he called me a boy earlier. Also, and you’re not gonna believe this, HE HAS A CRUSH ON ME! Like, what?! Why in all of Space-Time would a Sontaran fancy a Time Lord? I mean, we’re practically enemies of each other; at least that’s what Dad says. Though he claimed he changed this Sontaran into being a better person, but I’m not convinced. Basically, it’s not in a Sontaran’s nature to be kind, because all they care about is war, and fire, and such. That being said, Dad changed this one, Strax, into a better person, teaching him how to be kind to others; though he’s royally bad at it. Like, earlier, when we first arrived at the house, Strax said something like ‘Don’t try to escape, or I’ll kill you!’ and then smiles creepily and goes ‘Enjoy your stay.’ I’m like, ‘Wow, could you be any creepier?’ Anyway, Potato McCreeper is somewhere around here, doing who-knows-what, and frankly I don’t want to know. If he comes in here, I’ll turn him into a literal mashed potato.

“At this point, you’re probably wondering why we’re in Victorian London. It’s very weird, actually. Apparently, people’s worst fears are coming to life all over the world. Originally it started here in London but then spread to the rest of the world. Vastra thinks there’s some kind of device that’s causing all of this; like, there’s a force field wrapping around the entire planet and projecting people’s fears to make them appear real and scare everyone to death. Vastra briefly told the story of a massive spider killing an entire town in just a few hours; how crazy is that? Anyway, she called Dad here to find this device and stop the fears once and for all. Also, Vastra’s assistant, Jenny, is missing, and Vastra wants Dad to find her as well.

“But that’s the thing. I don’t know how to say this…but Jenny might be dead. I’m not entirely sure, but there’s this ghost of a pale woman in a hospital gown that’s appeared to me, and I’m pretty sure this woman is Jenny. She kept calling me ‘Doctor,’ although I’m pretty sure she’s actually calling for my dad; that would make more sense, since Jenny and I have never met.

“And here I thought I was just being haunted for no reason, but I think it’s Jenny calling for help. Calling for Dad. Maybe she’s not actually dead; maybe… Maybe’s she’s trapped. She could be trapped somewhere, but I’m not sure where she could be. Maybe this image of her isn’t actually a ghost but rather an astral projection. It might make sense, especially if she’s time-traveled with Dad before. I remember Dad once say something about how time-travelers can develop powers over time, such as astral projection. That being said, Jenny is in fact alive and is astral projecting herself across the city to ask us for help…or possibly to warn us. Perhaps she knows what kidnapped her, as well as the other people who went missing. If she appears again, maybe she could lead us to where she’s being held, and we could save her and everyone else.” I pause, sighing again. “Then again, this is all just speculation. Either way, I should tell Dad about this; maybe he has similar theories.” I then glance to the camera, like I’m speaking to an actual person. “What do you think? Just speculation, or could this actually be happening?”

I pause for another ten seconds, like I’ll get an actual answer, but I don’t get one. I roll my eyes saying, “Of course I’m not going to get an actual answer; technically I’m just talking to myself, which isn’t exactly helpful in this scenario. God, I wish I could talk to someone proper, like Haze or my parents. Not my bio-parents, but…my other parents. My real parents.” I then feel my eyes watering with tears again. “I miss you guys. God, I miss you so much! I shouldn’t have left you. I should’ve stayed and protected you. I’m so sorry.” I then say, managing to swallow back a whimper, “But I’ll find you. I’ll find you and rescue you, and I’ll make sure those sons of bitches never touch you again. In fact, I’m gonna kill them. I’m gonna kill every last one of them, including that witch, Madame Kovarian! They will pay after everything they did! I swear it! They did all of this just to get back at Mom for refusing to kill Dad! They’re gonna force me to kill Dad, and they’re gonna make Mom watch as punishment; I guess they’re gonna brainwash me too! It’s sick! It’s just sick! They all need to die! Only then would all of us be truly sa—Geez!”

I am suddenly startled to see a ghostly woman—the same woman from the alley where I fought Jack the Ripper—standing in the room right behind me, standing to the side of my bed. I drop my phone out of shock and immediately turn to her.

“Doctor!” the woman, who I believe to be Jenny, calls to me, and again her voice sounds like she is near and far at the same time.

“I saw you back in the alley,” I answer. “Who are you? Are you Jenny? If you are, and you’re looking for Dad—I mean the Doctor, I’m not him. I’m his daughter, Nova. Why do you need his help? Are you in danger?”

“Doctor!” she says again, and this time she says more. “You need to leave! They'll know you're here, and they’ll come for you! They've been after you from the start!”

I frown at her strange words. “Why do we have to leave? Who’s been after us? Is it the Vokanari; are they behind this? Where are you? A hospital, I guess, from the looks of your gown. Which hospital are you at? We can find you.”

“No!” she says, shaking her head. “You have to stay away! Stay away from here! Get back in the TARDIS and just leave! Leave me! Leave everyone! They want your fear! They’re gonna use it to… No…no…” She says that last bit as she begins fading away, like she’s losing control.

“No, wait!” I call out to her as she fades away entirely. “Don’t go! What fear? What do they want to do with it? Who’s ‘they?’ Come back!”

I then immediately notice something strange. The moment I say, ‘come back,’ I hear my father say the exact same words from downstairs, followed immediately by, “If you touch her, I’ll make you regret it!” I turn to the door as I hear two sets of footsteps coming up the stairs at a brisk pace.

“Just you try and stop me, Doc-y!” an unknown male voice says with a snigger. “Ooh! I bet it’s this one. Shall we knock and investigate?” Immediately after those words were said, there is a loud knock on my bedroom door. “Oh, Novie!” the voice says in a sing-song voice. “Novie Susie Song! Are you decent in there? It’s your Uncle Master popping in to say hi!”

‘Uncle Master?’ Who the hell could that possibly be?

More aggressive bangs can be heard outside the room, and along with them my father yelling, “Stop! Don’t go in there!” Thank God I decided to lock the door when I did.

As yet more banging can be heard, as well as my sense of danger immediately reaching peak point, I sift through the drawers nearby and manage to find a small letter opener. I swiftly slip it inside the sleeve of my nightgown as the man dubbing himself ‘Uncle Master’ manages to bust the door open without waiting for an answer.

A blonde man dressed in baggy clothes enters the room and grins triumphantly. “Ah, so this was the room.” He then pauses and grins creepily once he sees me standing in the farthest corner from the door. “And look who we have here. Little Novie Susie.”

“Who the hell are you?” I snap at him. “Who said you could come in here?” I then see Dad enter the room anxiously behind him, and I frown. “Dad? What’s going on? Who’s this creep?” Why would Dad allow a complete stranger into my room? He would never!

Unless he had absolutely no control over this man. In which case, this is someone even Dad is genuinely afraid of; I know, because I can sense his fear through our link.

In fact, this man is his fear, come to life.

Also, I can’t help but feel a sense of familiarity toward the blonde creep. This guy looks identical to the guy—or guys—I saw on that fateful Christmas, when every single person on Earth, except for me, transformed into him.

“Now, now, Novie,” the man says, shaking his head disapprovingly as he slowly approaches me like a predator toward his prey, “that’s not a very nice way to treat your Uncle Master, is it?”

“‘Uncle Master?’” I frown in suspicion, gripping the letter opener more tightly.

“He’s lying!” Dad speaks up. “He’s not your uncle; in fact, you don’t have an uncle. He’s not related to us in any way.”

“‘Not related in any way?’” the creepy blonde guy says, appalled, though he doesn’t sound appalled at all. “How can you say that? Of course, we’re related; we’re Time Lords! That practically makes us family! I think I have the right to visit my own family members, eh? Believe it or not, Doc-y, back in the day we used to be friends. Brothers. Now you’re not gonna let me see my own niece for the first time?” Once he reaches me, he immediately begins reaching out to stroke my hair with his greasy hands, his body smelling like sewage.

“Don’t touch me!” I spit in his face, and I almost use the letter opener on him right there and then, but I don’t.

“Oh, I’m not gonna hurt you,” Dirty Blondie assures me, but it doesn’t assure me at all. “Why would I want to destroy this pretty little face?” At this point, he is practically pinning me to the wall in a way where it’s impossible to wiggle out of his grasp. He intimately strokes my cheek, and I attempt to pull away but to no avail. He smiles and sniggers, directing his words toward my father, “She has your chin and eyes, I see; and the rest, I presume, is from the wife? She must be quite the looker to be able to produce a child as perfect as this! Then again, you’ve always been better with the ladies than I ever was, Doc-y. When do I get to meet her, the lovely Melody Song? Or is it River Pond? I always get her name confused. That’s what happens when you get to be nine-hundred, Novice. You’ll understand soon enough…depending on how long you get to live.” He says all of this, clearly expecting me to be scared, but I’m nowhere close.

“It’s Nova,” I snap back at him, “and if you don’t get out of my face in the next two seconds, I’ll slit your fucking throat!” I’m pretty sure this guy isn’t real and is actually Dad’s fear come to life. I mean, how else would he be threatening me in this way, while Dad stands by and watches, unable to do anything? Dad is practically seeing a ghost; in fact, he is seeing a ghost, since this guy is supposed to be dead, like Jack the Ripper. At least, that’s what’s going through Dad’s head, which I can sense through our link.

Dirty Blondie laughs, turning to Dad. “Did you hear that, ‘Daddy?’ She’ll slit my throat! Blimey, what have you been teaching this kid? I like her! She might as well be my kid. Maybe I’ll keep her!”

“In your dreams!” I scoff at him before I immediately take the opportunity to act. I let the letter opener slide into my hand, and I literally go to slit the sicko’s throat. Unfortunately, he is quicker than me and catches my wrist in mid-swipe.

“Nice try, cutie-pie,” he sneers at me as he grips my wrist so hard that I feel the bones breaking, and I end up involuntarily dropping the letter opener to the floor in pain, “but not fast enough.” He then releases me and throws me to the floor hard, forcing me to fall on the wrist that he had broken. “Did you really think I didn’t see that coming when you said you were going to slit my throat? You wouldn’t have said that if you weren’t actually planning to do it.”

I don’t even fight back the regeneration energy as it manifests in my wrist, healing the broken bones. Upon noticing this, Dirty Blondie gasps in shock as Dad yells disapprovingly, “Nova, don’t!” However, I don’t have control of my regeneration energy as it finishes its job before vanishing.

“Ah, looks like she can regenerate,” Dirty Blondie says with a slight chuckle. “I wasn’t sure. You think she’d be able to change bodies as well? We could find out. What do you think, Dad?” He then immediately grabs me by my hair and pulls me to a sitting position, holding me tightly against his chest, where I can feel his hearts pounding with manic energy. He then grabs the letter opener from the floor and holds it at my throat. “Should we slit her throat and see what happens?”

“No!” Dad cries on pure instinct, making Dirty Blondie snigger, relishing in his fear toward him.

“What?” the bastard shrugs. “If she can heal herself with regeneration energy, she should be able to change bodies as well, right? Last I checked that’s how Time Lord Regeneration works. I’m curious to know who she could turn into. Who knows, maybe she’ll look like me next.”

“Master, don’t!” Dad says seriously. He sounds genuinely scared now, and it makes me scared too. Scared that this might actually be the end for me.

“Or what, Doctor?” he snaps, glaring at him. “What are you going to do? You failed to stop me from turning every single human on Earth into me. Maybe next time, I’ll turn every single Time Lord into me…although, I suppose it’ll just be you and little Novel here who’ll turn into me. There’s no one else besides the three of us. Then again, on the plus side, with you looking exactly like me, we’ll be proper brothers—twins! More than that, we’ll be triplets! The Masters of Time!”

“You’re insane!” I say. It’s literally the most insane thing I’ve ever heard! Me?! As this guy?! NO! FUCKING! WAY!

“That’s never going to happen, Master,” Dad says, wholeheartedly agreeing with me (and who the hell wouldn’t?). “Besides which, you failed to turn even the Time Lords into yourself last time.”

“Not to mention he’s not even real,” I add.

I suddenly feel Dirty Blondie’s grip on my hair tightening at this, making me cringe. “Hey! You keep your mouth shut! I’ll cut out your tongue first and then slit your throat!”

“No, she’s right,” Dad says, shaking his head, “you aren’t real. You were sent back into the Time War just like all the rest of the Time Lords. That’s where people like you deserve to be. In Hell!”

Ooh! He just got roasted!

Dirty Blondie sneers at Dad, knowing he’s been defeated. “If ‘Hell’ is where you think Time Lords belong, then that is where we shall go! Starting with your daughter! Hope she survives the trip!” He then positions the letter opener at my throat, and I squeeze my eyes tightly shut, preparing for the worst.

“NO!” Dad screams.

Suddenly, there is the sound of a laser shot from across the room, followed immediately by Dirty Blondie’s grunt of pain. I feel him release me, dropping the letter opener to the floor beside me. I crawl away from him as I see his body slump in deadweight with a burnt laser hole between his eyes. I then glance at the doorway, and I’m surprised to find Strax standing there with a large laser gun in hand. I stare incredulously at him, at a total loss for words.

“Strax!” Dad exclaims, as equally shocked as I am.

“What’re you staring at me for?” Strax frowns at us, looking offended for some unknown reason. “I just saved your child from savage decapitation! It was a difficult decision to make, but I made it! You’re welcome!” He then walks off, muttering under his breath about how he should be ‘rewarded like a proper warrior,’ or something that, again, I don’t care about.

Okay… So that just happened. I’ve just been saved from a maniacal homeless guy—and saved by a Sontaran, no less.

“Nova!” Dad cries, dropping down on his knees beside me.

“I’m alright,” I nod to him as he cradles me in his arms, holding me tightly against his chest, his hearts pounding a million beats per minute, as are mine. After a minute, I glance toward the blonde guy’s body, and I’m surprised to see it reduce to ashes and disappear entirely, like he was never here to begin with. “Whoa!” I exclaim in shock. “He just disappeared!”

“That’s what happens to fears over time,” Dad says as he continues to hold me against him, rocking me gently back-and-forth. “They fade, but they don’t fade away entirely. Fear is only temporary…but regret is forever.”

In that moment, I begin sensing Dad’s past regrets as they come to him, one after the other—his regret to not save the Master after he saved Dad from Rassilon’s (whoever that guy is) attack before his final regeneration; his regret of what he did to end the Last Great Time War, an event that I definitely do not want to see anytime soon; and especially his regret of trying and failing to save so many people who had died in his name, including his companions. Dad has no choice but to live with the guilt and regret for the rest of his life.

However, despite everything, I am thankful that Dad and I survived in one piece, thanks to Strax the Sontaran. Since he did just save my life, I think I will actually try to be friends with him.

We’ll see.

“Oh, sorry!” Dad suddenly says after he accidentally squeezes my once-injured shoulder. “I totally forgot about—” He then pauses, realizing. He feels along my shoulder and notices that I’m not wincing in pain (of course not, because I healed my shoulder ages ago). He gently pulls down the sleeve of my nightgown to reveal my fully mended shoulder. I immediately look away in shame, expecting him to be mad at me. “Your shoulder… You…”

I sigh, rolling my eyes. “Yes, I healed it with my energy a while back! So what?” I then sense what Dad will say next, and I stop him. “I know! I shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t handle the pain any longer. It was getting annoying, and I figured it was going to slow me down later. I had to do something, and that was the only thing I could think of, so…I did it!” I shrug, groaning, “It shouldn’t matter anymore, anyway, since it’s already been done.” I then prepare to get up and leave, but Dad stops me.

“Nova!” he says before cupping my face in his hands. “It’s alright. I’m not angry with you.”

“You’re not?” I ask with a suspicious frown.

He shrugs. “Well, maybe a little, but I understand. I know being born with otherworldly superpowers is tough, especially when you’re forbidden to use them. You’ve seen what Time Lord Regeneration can do, and you want to further explore its capabilities. I know. I’ve been there, I understand. When I was first given my regeneration cycle, I wanted to explore, test the limits, just like you.”

“Wait!” I frown, puzzled. “So, you weren’t born with your regeneration power?”

He shakes his head. “No. I had to earn them. By looking into the Untempered Schism—the Time Vortex itself—for a long period of time. The Time Vortex gave me my vast knowledge and ability to regenerate. It was part of a young Gallifreyan’s journey to becoming a Time Lord…and it’s very painful.” He pauses for a short time before he continues. “Your mother was born from the Time Vortex. She was conceived in the TARDIS while in flight through the Vortex, which gave her Time Lord abilities, despite being born from human parents—your grandparents, Amelia Pond and Rory Williams. You got your abilities from both me and the Time Vortex.”

“So, I was born with my abilities?” I ask curiously.

Dad nods. “Yes, just like your mother. Though how you got your abilities from me, that’s a whole other story.”

“What do you mean?” I ask with a frown.

He sighs sadly. “I wasn’t born in the traditional sense, like you and your mother. Back when I was ‘born’—” Here, I notice Dad using the word in quotes, which I find strange, “—Gallifreyan females weren’t able to become pregnant, like most human females. Instead, they used complex machines, called Looms, to create their own children from the biodata of the ‘mother’ and ‘father.’ I was ‘born’ alongside forty-four other children in my House.”

“Wow!” I say in amazement. “That’s a large family.” Forty-Five kids in one house? Damn, that’s insane!

Dad sighs sadly again. “Yes, well, I didn’t exactly get along with my ‘family.’ That’s why I spent the majority of my childhood alone in the barn on our property. At least until I was old enough to go to the Academy.”

“Where you became a Time Lord,” I nod understandingly.

“Yes,” he confirms. “And after that…well, you know the rest.”

“Before that, you obviously married and had kids,” I point out, “and then grandkids. You said you had a granddaughter named Susan, who I’m named after.”

“Yes, that’s right,” Dad nods. He then sighs again, hugging me more tightly, like he’s afraid I’ll disappear if he lets go.

“You must miss them,” I say sympathetically, massaging the back of his neck soothingly. “Your family and Gallifrey.”

He nods again. “Very much.” He then pulls away slightly and cups my face again. “But I’m not alone, because now I have your mother, and your grandparents, and you. You are all the family I will ever want. You are my everything, Nova Susan Song. Now and forever.” He then pulls me into him, hugging me tightly again. “Which is why I don’t want you to leave my sight. From now on, you stay by my side for the rest of this trip. It’s clear no one is safe, especially alone.”

I nod in agreement. “Yeah. I wasn’t even doing anything earlier, and I was almost killed for it. After what went down with that blonde creep, who’d want to be alone? I mean, really! Who was that guy, anyway? Clearly, he was someone you knew.”

“I did know him well,” he admits. “The Master, or ‘Koschei,’ as he was called then, was my oldest friend. I met him back at the Academy. We grew up and studied alongside one another…until he started becoming vengeful and power-hungry as the years passed. And then…well, we parted ways. I’ve tried rekindling our friendship many times, but…” He sighs sadly, indicating that he’s given up trying to turn his friend-turned-foe back to the Light Side.

“I mean…that happens,” I say gently. “People move on. People change. It sucks sometimes, but it’s part of life.” My statement makes me think of my friendship with Hazel and how that might change very soon. After she is rescued, Hazel might want to go back home, while I might be staying with my bio-parents to learn the ways of the Time Lords—something that Hazel will never understand, even if she wanted to. “Friendships don’t last forever.”

“No, they don’t,” Dad agrees sadly. “Which is why you should always try to keep your friends close. You never know which day you spend with them might be your last.”

His statement makes me think of my family again, making me think that the time before I was cornered in the Modern-Day alley by the Vokanari was the last I saw of Hazel. It was also the last time that we were just regular friends—normal friends. In other words, we put all differences aside, specifically the fact that we were two different species. We just did what normal teenage friends do in a foreign country: simply have fun. After everything that’s happened with the Vokanari, our lives have changed drastically, and I fear that our friendship may have changed for the worst because of it. Much like Dad, I regret everything that’s happened, especially when I know I can’t change anything.

‘Fear is only temporary, but regret is forever.’ Oh, Haze, what have I done? You didn’t deserve any of this. No one deserved any of this.

I regret leaving my guardians without saying goodbye.

I regret abandoning Hazel when we were pursued by the Vokanari, not knowing that they were after her too.

I regret leaving my father alone out of anger and frustration before those pirates targeted him and bludgeoned him to death.

I regret not going with my mother, River Song, to save my guardians and Hazel and prevent the Vokanari from taking her too.

I now have to live with these regrets for the rest of my life, even after the Vokanari are defeated for good.

And I do plan to defeat them…

Whatever it takes.

Chapter Text

Madame Vastra was in hysterics when she came home minutes later.

Of course, Strax told her everything, but that didn’t seem to ease her worries. Of course not, because he’d over-exaggerated everything, making the situation seem like it was way worse than it actually was. Luckily, Dad was able to calm her by explaining to her what really happened—how the Master was actually just a ‘fear’ projection and that there wasn’t a real body to be disposed of, which was what made Vastra so hysterical (which makes sense, as that would’ve added to Dad’s and my ‘criminal record,’ on account of us already having been accused of killing that poor woman in the alley). Eventually, Dad assured her that we were okay, and she left us alone for the rest of the night.

Honestly, I was surprised that Vastra left us alone anyway. Apparently, she’d left Dad to take charge of the house while she was out hunting for rats, as well as searching for signs of Jenny. Yes, that’s right! Rats! I guess she prefers eating fresh animals over cooked ones; I mean, she allegedly ate the real Jack the Ripper, so I guess that makes sense. She claimed she had run low on the rodents and had been out hunting for more, and I believed her. Just before she came home, Dad and I went into the kitchen to get some food, as that ‘Master’ fiasco had left us famished, and I had the misfortune of searching through one of the freezers and discovering a handful of mangled rats scattered at the bottom. Needless to say, I immediately lost my appetite when I saw them, but Dad insisted that I eat something anyway, so I ultimately found a small package of biscuits and munched on them in the living room while Dad brewed us some hot Earl Grey tea (which Strax had forgotten to get us earlier).

Now, having eaten all but half of one biscuit and drank an almost empty tea mug, I sit on the couch, cuddling against Dad’s side with a thick blanket wrapped around my shoulders and fighting myself to stay awake. My eyelids are so heavy that I can barely keep them open, and I want to sleep so badly, despite Dad having warned me of the dangers of having my dreams come to life, but at this point I don’t care. I figure I can at least get away with resting my eyes, so I attempt to do just that while resting my head against his shoulder.

“You’re not trying to sleep, are you?” Dad suddenly nudges me with his shoulder, and I can’t help but flinch in shock, having just been on the cusp of unconsciousness, which Dad must’ve felt through our link.

“No, of course not,” I say quickly to avoid any suspicions; though he wouldn’t have said that if he weren’t. “Are you?” I shoot back at him.

“No,” he says, shaking his head. “I told you, if you sleep, your dream might come to life. I know you don’t want to be responsible for someone’s death, should that happen.” He sighs. “I certainly don’t. That almost happened to you, and I’m not about to let that happen again.”

“That man…” I ask curiously, “he was your dream come to life?”

He nods. “Yes. Well, no, actually. At the time, I was making a list in my head of all the possible enemies of mine who could be responsible for these ‘fears,’ and my old friend, the Master, was the second on my list.” He then pauses, feeling embarrassed. “I guess I was thinking too much about him that he ended up coming to life. Rather, coming back to life.” He sighs again, closing his eyes as regret fills his aching hearts. “Sometimes I wish he could come back. Not as the corrupt, power-hungry person he became but rather as the person he was before that.”

“Back when he was still your best friend,” I nod understandingly. “Your ‘brother.’” I imagine that’s what they were to each other before they ‘parted ways,’ as Dad put it. It sucks that they’re not like that anymore; at least, that’s what Dad thinks.

“Exactly,” he nods sadly. “Perhaps then, he could’ve been a proper uncle to you. You and the Master would’ve gotten along well, I think.”

I can’t help laughing at this. Me, ‘getting along’ with a megalomaniac such as that guy? What the hell is he thinking?

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that,” I say, feeling immensely doubtful. “I wouldn’t want to be anything like he was upstairs. I mean…he tried to kill me. In fact, he almost did.” I get the disturbing feeling that he had planned to do much worse to me before outright killing me, all while Dad watched helplessly, unable to do anything to stop him. Man, if Strax hadn’t shown up…

“Yes,” Dad says, taking a nervous breath, having sensed my thoughts, “I thought for sure I was going to lose you.”

“Well, thank god you didn’t,” I say with a shrug. I don’t say anything else, not wanting to think about it further; not that it matters anymore anyway. Even if that megalomaniac comes back, whether he’d be real or just another fear, I’ll take him down first, just like I’ll do if ol’ Voldy comes back.

After a minute, I begin feeling sleepy again, and I lay my head back down on Dad’s shoulder.

“It’s okay, Nova, you can sleep,” Dad whispers in my hair.

“What?” I ask, puzzled, making sure I heard him correctly. Did he just say I can sleep? What the heck?

“If you’re feeling that tired, you can go to sleep,” Dad confirms my suspicions. “If you start having a nightmare, I can pull you out of it if need be. That’s another nifty telepathic ability we share. I’ll teach it to you another time.”

“Are you sure?” I say with uncertainty. “You were very particular about me not sleeping earlier.” Why the sudden change of mind? This doesn’t make sense.

“That was while you were alone,” Dad admits with a shrug. “As long as you’re with me, I think it’ll be okay. Like I said, I can wake you, using our telepathic link, if things take a bad turn in your dreams. I won’t let any of your nightmares come to life. I promise.”

“I don’t know,” I sigh, feeling uncomfortable. “I’m still not comfortable with us being telepathically linked in general. It seems like an invasion of my privacy, to be honest, especially if you’re gonna be seeing what I’m dreaming.” With this being only my second adventure with him, I still don’t know him well enough to simply allow him to look into my mind, even despite him allowing me into his mind before. I’ve seen some disturbing things in his mind, particularly the memory of Mom’s impending death; not that I have any memories that are similar, but even if I did, I wouldn’t want Dad to see them. There have been some nightmares I’ve recently had that I don’t want to experience again, and I certainly don’t want him seeing them either.

“It’ll be okay, I promise you,” he assures me. “We won’t tell Vastra or Strax or anyone; we’ll just keep it between us. No one else has to know. Whatever you might see in your dream, it’s not real.”

“That’s what I thought when I saw the Vokanari brainwash Mom,” I point out, “same for when they attacked my father-guardian, but now I’m not so sure. They seemed real enough…even felt real.” I then think about how I felt the tingling sensation in my chest after I saw the Vokanari guard attack my father-guardian with the electric stick; same for when I sensed Mom truly want Dad—her husband—dead after she was given the task of finding us, and her determination to see me, her own daughter, kill my father once and for all. The very thought still disturbs me greatly.

“Honestly, you have nothing to worry about, Nova,” he assures me again. “I’ll be here with you the whole time. Try to get some sleep. In fact, I’ll help you.”

“You can do that?” I ask, raising a skeptical eyebrow. I then shake my head, suddenly remembering. “No, wait! I remember you saying something about that yesterday; something about you being able to force people to sleep. You threatened to do that to me.”

“I didn’t threaten to do that to you,” he says, shaking his head. “Well, sort of, but not really. Anyway, it’s not like I’ll be injecting you with a sedative or anything like that. In fact, it’ll be nothing like that. It’ll be something as simple as projecting the image of perfect sleep into your mind.”

“That’s it?” I say with a frown. “You’re just gonna give me sleepy thoughts and expect them to make me sleepy as well? Like hypnotism?” He plans to hypnotize me into falling asleep? Yeah, that won’t be creepy at all.

“Well, I won’t be ‘hypnotizing’ you, per se,” he says in an uncertain tone, though I can’t help but think he’s lying. Rule One: The Doctor lies.

“Except you are,” I scoff out loud. “That’s what you’re planning to do. Don’t lie to me.” Having ‘lying’ be his number-one rule is literally the stupidest thing ever. Who in their right mind would have a legit rule like that?

“Honestly, it’s nothing to worry about,” he sighs in exasperation. “Trust me, Nova, this will really help you. Just let me do this. You’ll be perfectly fine, I promise.”

“Fine, whatever,” I sigh, no longer caring. “I just want to sleep, but I don’t want my dream to end up killing someone either.”

“It’s alright, Nova,” he says, wrapping his arm tighter around me, “I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen. If I see any signs of that happening, I’ll pull you out of it. You have nothing to fear.”

But, of course, I can’t help but be afraid anyway. Sensing this, he says calmly, “In fact, let me tell you something. A story from when I was a boy.” I look up at him as he tells his story.

“This was back during my early days, from before I joined the Academy; I must’ve been about…six years old. One night, I was very scared, so I locked myself in the barn and cried for what felt like hours. I never liked crying in front of people, certainly not my family, so I ran and hid in the barn. At some point in the night, a great whooshing sound erupted in the barn close to my bed, but I did not dare look for fear of what I might see. Doors opened, and a woman whose voice I didn’t recognize called to me—rather, to someone named Orson, or Rupert. The woman approached my bed, but still I didn’t move, just stayed still, hoping she’d go away. Eventually, my guardians arrived to check on me, and I heard the mysterious woman slip under my bed. My guardians were quietly whispering to each other, talking about how my behavior would not be accepted into the Academy, nor the army, neither of which I had any intention of joining in my later days, at least at the time. They left, and all was quiet until I heard another voice I didn’t recognize from whatever had made the whooshing sound, and I got out of bed to see what it was, and that was when something from under the bed had grabbed my ankle, which scared me to my core. At the time, I had totally forgotten about the woman who was hiding under my bed. Before I could scream or run, she calmly told me to lie back down, and I did; though, at this point, I no longer felt afraid of the woman, and I wasn’t really sure why, but I continued to cry anyway.

“She then sat next to me on my bed and began stroking my head soothingly, and she told me to listen…” He begins stroking my own head as he begins quoting the mysterious woman. “‘Listen,’ she said. ‘This is just a dream. But very clever people can hear dreams. So please just listen. I know you’re afraid but being afraid is all right. Because didn’t anybody ever tell you? Fear is a superpower. Fear can make you faster, and cleverer, and stronger. And one day, you’re gonna come back to this barn, and on that day, you’re going to be very afraid indeed. But that’s okay. Because if you’re very wise and very strong, fear doesn’t have to make you cruel or cowardly. Fear can make you kind. It doesn’t matter if there’s nothing under the bed, or in the dark, so long as you know it’s okay to be afraid of it. So, listen. If you listen to nothing else, listen to this: you’re always going to be afraid, even if you learn to hide it. Fear is like…a companion. A constant companion, always there. But that’s okay. Because fear can bring us together. Fear can bring you home. Fear makes companions of all of us.’”

Once he finishes, he falls silent, allowing the words to sink into my brain. After an amazing speech like that, all I can think to say is, “Wow… That’s…profound.”

“I know,” Dad smiles. “Those words have stuck with me ever since. I wouldn’t be who I am without them.”

“Who was that woman?” I ask curiously.

“No idea,” he shrugs with a heavy sigh. “I never found out, but she must’ve been someone close to me—or rather someone who will be close to me. Perhaps a future companion?”

“Maybe,” I say uncertainly. Thinking back on the words, they sounded like something I would say, but I decide to keep this thought to myself, feeling doubtful that the woman was myself from the future. “Why tell me this story?” I ask, feeling uncertain as to why he’d tell me such a personal story. Knowing Dad, he doesn’t seem like the type of guy that would go around telling personal stories to anyone, certainly not random people he’d bump into on the streets. There’s got to be some sort of explanation as to why he’d tell this specific story to me.

“Those words shaped me into who I am now,” he says honestly. “If I’d never heard those words, I would never have had the courage to go into the Academy, or anywhere. They gave me the courage I needed. I hope they can do the same for you. I know a lot of scary things have happened in your life, Nova, and you want to fix them, and you’re afraid that they’ll never be fixed; and I want you to understand that they can be fixed, so long as you have the strength and courage to do it.” He then smiles at me and flicks the tip of my nose playfully. “And I know you do.”

“I’m mostly afraid that once I do have the courage, and I actually go to save them, it’ll be too late,” I admit, feeling disturbed. “I’m afraid that once I arrive, I’ll find out they’re dead, and it will all have been for nothing.” At this point, I’ve been away from them for far too long, and I wouldn’t be surprised if, by now, they’re already gone. Now more than ever, I regret not going with my mother when she left when she did.

Dad shakes his head before laying it on top of mine. “No, Nova, you mustn’t think like that. Don’t let your fear control you. You must embrace it; treat it like a superpower, like the woman said. Fear is what gives you strength. You can use that to fight your enemies—use it to fight the Vokanari. They want your fear to tear you down, but you must let it build you up, make you stronger and faster. Fear isn’t your enemy; it is your ally—your companion. You must treat it as such. I have for twelve-hundred years, and it has not once failed me.”

His words make me fall silent. Thinking back on them, he’s totally right. At times of extreme fear, it has, admittedly, made me physically stronger. When I was afraid that the Sontaran was going to kill Hazel, my fear somehow gave me the courage to whack the Sontaran on the back of its neck, which saved both of us. When I was afraid that the Vokanari members were going to kidnap me and take me away, my fear gave me the strength to fight them away with my regen energy, same for when I used it to keep the pirates from killing Dad and I on our previous adventure. Now thinking of our previous adventure, when I was afraid of losing Dad forever after he’d died from his injuries and from having expended the time he could survive on just one heart, my fear gave me the energy I intended to use to fight that multi-eyed Vokanari member, even though I ultimately didn’t kill her like I originally planned to.

All this time, my fear has made me stronger, both mentally and physically, and I believe this was what Dad had planned to teach me all along, particularly on this trip. Deep down, he wants me to defeat the Vokanari as much as I do; he wants to make them pay for all the things they’ve done to our family, and he wants to help me develop the strength and power to do this very thing.

Both of my parents didn’t want me to face the Vokanari so soon because I wasn’t yet strong enough. Well, now I know what can make me stronger—what has made me stronger:

Fear.

Feeling sleepy again, I mutter, “I think I’m ready to sleep now.”

“Very well,” Dad nods as he places a gentle hand over my temple. “I’ll project the image of perfect sleep into your mind; that should help you. Just relax.”

I close my eyes as I cuddle closer against Dad’s side, my mind gradually fading into quietness and blackness.

After what feels like seconds, I slowly wake up in a white room with wires and tubes surrounding me, as well as an oxygen mask attached to my face. Once my vision becomes clearer, I glance around and discover the room to be a hospital room, and the cold surface I am lying on is a large gurney placed beside a strange monitor—a computer? Strange. Computers don’t exist in this time period. Why is there one here?

I flinch when I am suddenly met with a disturbing face—the face of a man, though the majority of his face is covered by a surgical mask. However, his eyes are the most disturbing—the eyes of a reptile. I realize that this isn’t an ordinary surgeon. Normal people don’t have eyes like that, not in this time period or even on this planet. This is a man from another world.

“What…are…you?” I manage to croak, but I am unable to say anything else, feeling the effects of the sedative that the surgeon seemed to have forced me to breathe into my system through the oxygen mask.

“You are awake,” the surgeon says with a frown in a raspy voice. “How are you awake? Impossible.” He then goes to adjust a machine next to the monitor, which makes me sleepier; however, I fight myself to stay awake, but it becomes a major struggle as my vision becomes blurry again.

“Commander Taak,” a second ‘surgeon’ comes into the room and approaches the first, his voice sounding as equally raspy, “Lieutenant Kron has detected Gallifreyan technology in the city and has traced it to a strange blue box. He believes it to be his   time capsule and is awaiting orders.”

The first surgeon, Commander Taak, smiles; rather, he appears to smile, as it’s difficult to tell with the mask over his face. “Alert the others,” he says. “Tell them to rendezvous with Lieutenant Kron and have the time capsule brought here. If it is true the Time Lord is here, and he wishes to have his time capsule back, as well as the girl, he will have to pay us   a visit first.”

With that, the second surgeon nods and leaves the room as Taak leans over me. I attempt to move away, feeling immensely uncomfortable, but I am unable to move due to numbness in my entire body. I can only watch in horror as the surgeon continues, “The Time Lord will pay for what he did to us. He destroyed our world, and now we will destroy his. Or, to put it in another way, he   will destroy his own   world and every primitive ape on it. And he will do it with his own fear. The very thing he fears the most—the destruction of Gallifrey and everyone he loves. And it will happen again. On Earth.” He then sniggers evilly, and at this point I can barely stay conscious, my vision slowly fading to black.

“No…” I attempt to speak as I involuntarily slip back into unconsciousness. “You…can’t…”

At that moment, the scene goes black until a new scene emerges, with a man in a purple suit—the Doctor—comforting a young girl—his daughter, Nova—sleeping restlessly at his side. He gently whispers in her ear and caresses her cheeks, trying to wake her.

“Doctor!” I call to him, waving to him in a fruitless attempt to get his attention, something I’ve tried and failed to do many times before. “Please hear me! The aliens that abducted me, they’re after your TARDIS! They’re after you! That’s why they kidnapped me; to get to you! Please, you must leave! Leave before they get you too! Doctor! Doctor!”

My vision seems to change a second time, and this time I am wrapped in my father’s arms, my hearts pounding at an impossibly high rate and body feeling numb with fear; though this fear weakens me rather than strengthens me.

“It’s alright, it’s alright, I’ve got you,” Dad whispers in my ear as he continues caressing my quivering body. “You’re safe, Nova. I’m right here. Calm down. Take deep breaths. You’re alright now.”

I wrap my arms tightly around Dad’s waist, in desperate need of something to hold onto—a lifeline to pull me back into reality. That vision was just like all the others. I seemed to have projected my mind into someone else’s, though this ‘someone else’ wasn’t someone I knew, but it was someone strangely familiar, nonetheless. Someone who knew Dad well. Someone who’s been struggling to contact him for hours since we first arrived, to warn him of the danger I’d just witnessed. These reptilian-eyed beings had been after Dad for centuries, planning their revenge on him for what he’d done. He destroyed their home-world, and now they want to destroy his; rather, they want him to destroy Earth with his own fear—his fear of the destruction of Gallifrey and having that happen on Earth. They found out how to do it by kidnapping the woman—Jenny, whose mind I’d just linked to—and using her as bait to bring him here. Since the beginning, Jenny has been trying to warn us of this danger by astral projecting herself across the city, but she has struggled due to us being unable to see her astral projection. If the reptilian-eyed men discover Dad’s location—they’ve already discovered the TARDIS, according to one of the other surgeons—they’ll come for him and force him to dream up Gallifrey’s destruction, which would destroy the Earth in the exact same way. Jenny knew this was going to happen if we’d stayed for as long as we have, and now that it’s happened, it’s only a matter of time until they find us. Looking back, I wish we really have left.

“We can’t leave,” Dad responds to my internal thoughts. “We can’t abandon these people, particularly Jenny. Wherever she is, we’ll find her. And the Shada Dämo, we’ll stop them.” He sighs. “I figured they’d be responsible for this. It seems they’ve returned, which worries me greatly.”

“They said you destroyed their world,” I point out with a frown, in total disbelief that Dad had done such a horrible thing. How could he?

“I didn’t,” he shakes his head. “They did. I tried to stop them. Of course, it was an accident; they didn’t mean to destroy their own world.”

“What happened?” I ask curiously.

Dad sighs again. “What always happens when experiments go wrong. The Shada Dämo are a group of reptilian aliens that decided that terrorizing lives was far better than saving lives. Back in the day, they were a humble group of physicians who thought it would be interesting to experiment with people’s subconscious and make people’s dreams come to life using Bio-Nanotechnology. They had the ‘patients’ dream of a deceased loved one and said loved one would come to life—rather come back to life—and mingle with the family, even if it’s just for a short time. However, sometimes people aren’t capable of such things—which you know as lucid dreaming—and so they end up dreaming of their worst fears, which end up coming to life and harming the family instead. This often happened, and so they were shut down. This angered the physicians so much that they decided to get revenge on their own people by kidnapping certain individuals who were deathly afraid of things and forced them to sleep and dream of their worst fears to take over the world. At the time I found this out, I discovered that one of the individuals had been in a war, and of course that ended up coming to life, and before I knew what was happening, the poor soul’s fear destroyed their beautiful planet. Meanwhile, the Shada Dämo—as the physicians called themselves from that point on—were performing their operations on a ship in orbit. They didn’t mean to destroy their planet; only terrorize the people who shut them down. Of course, they needed someone to blame for the destruction of their home-world, so they blamed me, but I obviously did no such thing. I, of course, sent them to prison for a very long time, but it seems they’ve been let out or have escaped.”

“Most likely, they’ve escaped,” I say, “and they’ve come back to take revenge on you.”

“Yes, it seems they have,” Dad says nervously, “which would explain why they targeted Jenny. They knew that once Vastra had discovered Jenny’s disappearance, she would immediately call me, knowing I’m the only one she knows who would find Jenny.”

“But it’s a trap,” I add. “You go after Jenny, those psychos would capture you and use your worst fear to destroy the Earth, and us along with it. Which, obviously, can’t happen, since the Earth is still around in my time, and if that changes…”

“Your life may change, since I sent you to be raised on Earth in the future,” Dad finishes my worst fear.

His words briefly make me wonder how my life would actually change. Of course, my childhood would change, and depending on that change, so could my present and future, specifically with Dad. Perhaps I would’ve spent my childhood on another planet, being raised by another species; perhaps the Vokanari would’ve found an easier way to get to me, and they would’ve succeeded in their plot to train me to kill Dad; or perhaps I might just cease to exist altogether. I wonder if all memories of Mom, Dad, and everything they taught me about my origins would disappear as well. In any case, I dread to find out, should we actually end up failing to stop the aliens.

“We have to stop them!” I say, determined not to let any of that happen. I can’t bear to lose memory of Mom and Dad, after everything we’ve been through up to this point.

“Yes,” Dad agrees, “but we need to know where they are first.”

“They’re at some sort of hospital,” I point out. I mean, that’s exactly what I saw in the vision. That has to be where Jenny is, right?

“Of course,” Dad says in an obvious tone, “they’re doctors. Where else would they be working? The question is, which hospital? There are twenty-one known hospitals in London alone.”

“So, we search all of them!” I shrug. We’d have to in order to find the right one.

“I’m afraid it won’t be that simple, Nova,” he shakes his head, making me frown. “Like I said, the Shada Dämo made their base on a ship in orbit around their planet. And besides, they won’t be performing their sick operations alongside human physicians, certainly not with the risk of being discovered. No, their base would have to be in a secluded place; a place where no one would ever think to look for them.”

“Like in an underground bunker,” I suggest, “or an abandoned warehouse, or in the middle of nowhere in a desert or forest.”

“Precisely,” Dad nods. “Or perhaps in orbit around the planet—again.”

“Vastra shared a theory earlier that since all the ‘fears’ started here and then later spread to the rest of the world, the base should be somewhere in the city,” I say, suddenly remembering, “perhaps in the middle of the city. At least that’s where the so-called ‘force field’ is being generated. Perhaps the thing that activates the force field is somewhere in their base as well; they are the ones controlling it. That would make sense, right?”

“Nova, you’re a star!” Dad says, impressed, patting me on the back. “And even brighter than Alpha Ceti Beta 6.”

“Thanks…I think,” I say with a frown, unsure of what he’s talking about.

“Come on,” he says as he gets up from the couch, pulling me up with him, “let’s tell Vastra what we’ve learned…rather, what you’ve seen. It appears that you have the ability to project your own mind into another person’s mind at will. It’s quite impressive, really. Not many Time Lords were able to do such a thing. Only those with high-level telepathy skills could do such a thing.”

“And you can’t do that?” I ask with a raised eyebrow.

He shakes his head. “No. I can project my thoughts into another person’s mind within close range, but I can’t project my mind across all of Space-Time like you can; at least, that seems to be the case. You said you saw what was happening through your mother’s eyes?”

“Yeah,” I nod. “The moment they brainwashed her, I sensed it. I saw it. Everything she thought after it was done… Her determination to make Kovarian proud for once, by accomplishing her mission of finding us and delivering us to her. And then…” I then pause, not wanting to continue, feeling disturbed at the very thought of my mother thinking of Dad in that way.

“And then what?” he urges me to continue anyway, and I reluctantly do so.

“And then kill you once and for all, like she should’ve done in Berlin. I mean, she did kill you, but…she wished she hadn’t given up her regenerations for you and that you’d stayed dead. I didn’t want to believe that was what she was thinking, but she was.” How could she think of her own husband like that? She loves him!

Loved him…

Dad shakes his head again. “No, she wasn’t thinking that at all. Those aren’t her thoughts. The Vokanari put those thoughts into her mind. They want her to think those thoughts, but they are not her true thoughts. Your mother loves us very much, and she’d do anything to protect us. She’s still in there; we just have to bring her out.”

“How?” I ask, feeling doubtful that it’s even possible, considering how deep she is under their control.

“I don’t know yet,” he admits with a shrug. “We’ll cross that bridge when we get there. For now, we need to help Vastra and stop the Shada Dämo for good. Come on, let’s find her and tell her what we’ve learned.”

We rush to find Vastra, and we eventually find her in a magnificent greenhouse at the back of the house. Annoyingly enough, Strax stops us from entering, but Dad says it’s an emergency. Strax allows him through, but he stops me from following, saying that “enemy boys” shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near his mistress, but I push past him anyway, having no time for his bullshit. Once I catch up to Dad, we immediately explain everything.

“You are certain of this, Doctor?” Vastra asks somewhat doubtfully after we finish.

“Positive,” Dad says confidently. “Nova saw everything with her own eyes.” He then pauses with a frown. “Well, not exactly with her own eyes, but…rather through Jenny’s.” He says that last bit slowly and uncertainly, like he doesn’t know whether Vastra would believe him. Honestly, I don’t think she would, either, as projecting one mind into someone else’s at will sounds downright ludicrous.

“You’ve seen everything through Jenny’s eyes?” she frowns at me, confirming my assumptions. “Please explain.”

“Nova?” Dad says, glancing to me, encouraging me to explain.

“What? Why should I be the one to explain?” I say, frowning back at him.

“It was your vision,” he says with a shrug.

I sigh, rolling my eyes. “I told you; I don’t know if it was even real or not.” Honestly, I’m still not even sure what I saw. Maybe what I saw wasn’t actually real. Maybe it was a dream, after all.

“It was real,” Dad says what I hoped he wouldn’t say. “I sensed it through our link. Go ahead, tell her.”

But I am still speechless. How can I explain something I’m still not convinced was real? Not to mention that I’m still struggling to understand what I saw—rather, what Jenny saw. What she’s been experiencing for the last week since her initial disappearance.

Luckily, Dad takes it upon himself to explain for me. “Nova has this sort of ‘mind-projection’ ability. It’s not a very common Time Lord ability; only extremely high-level telepaths could do something like this. Apparently, she can project her mind into others’ minds, seeing what they’re seeing and thinking what they’re thinking. She believes that she may have projected her mind into Jenny’s mind and saw everything that she was experiencing, wherever she is.”

“Jenny is alive?” Vastra says in a hopeful tone.

“Yes,” I say, finally finding my voice. “She’s stuck in some sort of hospital. Creepy surgeons with reptilian eyes were running the place, and one was monitoring Jenny at the time she woke up—probably because of me, when our minds connected; though I don’t know if she was aware of me being in her head. Anyway, another surgeon came in and said something about the TARDIS being discovered, and they were going to have it brought to their base, which, I’m guessing, is the hospital. They said that Dad was going to have to come to them in order to get the TARDIS and Jenny back, but that’s the thing—this whole thing is a trap that they’d set up. They blamed Dad for the destruction of their home-world centuries ago, and they plan to get back at him by forcing him to dream up his worst fear and use it to destroy Earth.”

“We can’t let that happen,” Dad adds.

“Yeah, especially with the risk of my life being changed,” I continue. “If they succeed in their plan, Earth will be destroyed in this time. But since I was raised on Earth in the future, that life will be rewritten, because Earth would no longer exist, obviously.” I glance worriedly to Dad. “I may even lose my memories of you, and Mom, and everything you guys taught me about my origins. I don’t want to forget any of that.”

“You won’t forget,” he says in an assuring tone. “We’ll save everyone. We’ll save you. And I think I know how we’re going to do it.”

“How?” Vastra asks curiously.

“I suggest a full-frontal assault with automated laser monkeys, scalpel mines and acid; and maybe even a few grenades for emergencies!” Strax speaks up out of nowhere.

We all look at him, completely stunned.

“What?!” I say incredulously, frowning at him. Who the hell would come up with something like that?

“You plan to penetrate into the enemy’s base of operations and destroy the device that conducts the force field that surrounds the whole planet,” the Sontaran points out, and I can’t help but think, Okay, so he really has been paying attention. “A few grenades would work perfectly for the job, I daresay. I volunteer to take charge of this duty for the Glory of Sontar and of Nova!”

Whoa, what? For the Glory of Sontar and of me? What the actual hell?!

“What?” I say, shocked. “You’d do it for me?” Is he for real?

“Of course!” he says in an obvious tone. “I hear you in my head always! You tell me I should take up this job for the Glory of my people and for you, and that I should obliterate anyone who disagrees!”

‘Obliterate anyone who disagrees?’ WHAT?!

I glance awkwardly between Vastra and Dad, shaking my head. “Um…no. I think you’re mistaken. I would never ask anyone to kill for me, certainly not you. Besides which, I would never project my mind into yours. That would be disgusting!” I then turn to Dad. “We’re not actually gonna listen to this idiot, are we?”

Please say no, please say no, Please say no…

“Of course not,” Dad says, and I take a big sigh of relief.

Strax steps forward in disapproval. “Sir, may I suggest that you consider my plan of action? If we don’t blow that infernal contraption and its operatives to smithereens, this planet and everyone on it will meet a brutal end!” He then pauses with a smile. “Then again, I’ve always planned to die a warrior’s death in battle alongside my comrades…particularly Nova.” Here, he smirks at me, like I should be impressed, but I’m nowhere near impressed. If anything, I’m severely creeped out.

“Ew!” I exclaim in disgust. “Are you kidding me? You are sick in the head! What makes you think I would ever fall for an ungrateful, conceited son of a—?”

“Nova! Strax! That’s enough!” Dad interrupts us, sighing in exasperation. “I swear, you two are like a bunch of kids!”

“Well, tell him to stop acting like one, and maybe I will too!” I snap back. “Him first!”

“Nova, there’s no point!” Dad says, and at this point he sounds legitimately stressed. “In fact, at this point, we’re wasting time! Precious time that we cannot waste! Jenny’s life—as well as your own—is at stake, and I’m not about to lose any of you! Especially you, Nova!” He then sighs, glancing shamefully at the floor. “Very few friends I’ve lost have actually come back, but most have not. I’m not going to lose you again. I can’t.” He then wraps his arms around me in a hug and buries his face in my shoulder, clearly trying to hide his distress.

“Dad…” I sigh, rubbing his back soothingly. “I keep telling you, you won’t lose me. And even if you do, should we fail, you’ll find me. I know you will, even if I end up losing all memories of you. You’ll always come back for me.”

After another few seconds, he eventually pulls away and smiles at me. “Yes. And I will never ever stop.”

“Good,” I smile back. “I will never ever stop waiting for you. I’ll spend the rest of my life waiting if I have to.”

“You’re just like your grandparents,” Dad chuckles softly, brushing my hair away from my face.

“As pleasant as this moment is,” Vastra speaks up awkwardly, “may I remind you that many lives will continue to suffer, should we linger here any longer.”

At this, Dad straightens up, straightening his bow tie as well. “Right! Yes! Good point, Madame Vastra. There’s no more time to waste. We should strategize our next move as soon as possible.”

“And prevent my life from being rewritten out of existence,” I point out. “I’m just saying.” Obviously, this is the most important thing to me. I plan on living a full twelve lives, thank you very much!

Strategizing in general must be Strax’s absolute favorite thing in the universe. “I’ll go fetch my grenades!” he says enthusiastically as he turns to leave.

Whoa, whoa! Chill out, psycho-potato-freak!

“Dude!” I exclaim disapprovingly. “You’ve got some serious issues!”

“Strax, shut up about the grenades!” Dad gripes at him. “No one is blowing up anything unless I say so! In fact, no one is blowing up anything, period! End of story!”

“Will you at least consider laser monkeys and scalpel mines?” the Sontaran tries again, but neither of us want to hear it.

“NO!” we all say in unison. At this point, everyone just wants him to leave. He’s clearly proven to be the dumbest person in the room (maybe even the whole universe), unlike the rest of us, who actually think before we act.

I take it upon myself to speak for everyone. “Just leave us alone, Stinx. We’ll call you if we need anything; though, we probably never will.”

“‘Stinx?’” the Sontaran asks, legitimately puzzled. “Who is this ‘Stinx?’”

Exactly my point.

I decide to have some fun with his cluelessness. It’s not like he can do anything to me, especially with Dad around. “That’s your name, isn’t it?” I snigger. “‘Stinx.’ ‘Cause you stink.”

Yup, I just went there.

Surprisingly, he seemed to understand that, because he growls back at me, “How dare you insult me, you…pink weasel!”

I chortle at this. “Pfft! Yeah, like that’s a worse name than ‘Stinx.’ Which it isn’t.”

Strax—or rather, Stinx—is about to say, or do, something in response (I'm honestly not sure what), but Dad steps forward, saying, "Nova, Stinx—I mean, Strax! That's enough!" Here, I fail to hold back a snort, realizing that he'd said the wrong name. Ha, ha! He said it too! "Strax, why don't you go patrol the house and make sure no one tries to get in, should the Shada Dämo be out there looking for me. Nova, you stay with me. We might need some insight on your 'visions.' Perhaps they'll help us find Jenny."

I give a childish wave toward Stinx as he walks away in defeat. Yeah, that’s right, loser, I snigger in my head, let the adults handle this. Technically, in this country, I am a legal adult, since the legal age is eighteen, unlike in the US with the legal age being twenty-one. I imagine Stinx to frequently act like a child—arguing with Vastra when something doesn’t go his way or playing with something that ends up setting the house on fire, etcetera. Not that I’ve seen any evidence of scorch marks anywhere, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Stinx has set at least one thing in this house on fire since Vastra and Jenny took him in to live with them. In any case, I’m glad he’s gone, at least for now. How they manage to put up with that royal pain in the ass, I'll never know.

With that, we begin strategizing…without Stinx, much to his disappointment.

Not like anybody cares.

Chapter Text

Why? Why did we have to agree to this? This is a terrible idea! I can't believe this is our plan! A plan that will surely all go up in flames!

I mostly can't believe what everyone's agreed for me to do. As much as I want to help these people, infiltrating an enemy base sounds way cooler. In fact, that's what everyone should have agreed to let me do instead of Dad.

So, here's the sitch:

Our main goal is to find the aliens' base, shut them down as well as save everyone they've kidnapped, and therefore save humanity. The problem is, the aliens are after my father, particularly his worst fear that will undoubtedly destroy the Earth. Another issue is, Dad is the only one out of the four of us that has had any experience with these sickos; therefore he is, allegedly, the only one who can defeat them.

However, I beg to differ. During our strategy session, I explained that Dad shouldn't go because that would give the aliens exactly what they want; therefore they would be expecting him to show up. I explained that if anyone was to go anywhere near these sickos, it was going to be me. If I go, I could trick the aliens into thinking I'm Dad by pretending to be him; and while they're preoccupied in enacting their revenge on me, Dad and the others could sneak in and rescue the people they've kidnapped, as well as shut down the field that makes the fears come to life, and therefore save humanity.

I was genuinely surprised when Vastra actually took my side, but Dad was having none of it, saying that I wasn't experienced enough, therefore I wasn't ready to face a danger that great. We had a slight argument over it until Vastra interrupted us by confessing that ever since Jenny's disappearance, she has been trying to find someone to help with her investigations, and she thought to appoint me as her temporary assistant. This was music to my ears, as—let's be real—who wouldn't want to be John Watson for a day?

Unfortunately, this would mean that I wouldn't be helping Dad in the way that I planned. By helping Vastra, I would be staying away from the danger by, instead, helping her aide the city into overcoming their fears until the field making the fears come to life is deactivated—a plan in which Stinx is going to help Dad accomplish instead of me.

Literally the most uncool sitch in the history of the universe.

Despite everything, needless to say, on the plus side, Vastra was able to clear Dad's and my name of any 'criminal offense' after we were falsely accused of murder last night.

"I still think this is a bad idea," I speak up after several minutes of silence as we ride through the still empty streets later that morning, not long after sunrise, "I still think that I should be the one to go, not you."

Dad sighs, shaking his head. "Nova, we've already discussed this. You're not ready."

"I know I don't have any experience," I say, trying not to sound like a whiny five-year-old, "but this'll help me get that experience. I'm gonna have to face danger at some point; in fact, I already have, several times before. I defeated that Sontaran at the arcade, no problem; and I took down several Vokanari members by myself. I think I can take down a few lizard-people." I then glance awkwardly to Vastra. "Uh…I mean other lizard-people. Not you, obviously."

"I understand, my dear," she nods. "No offense taken."

Dad sighs again, turning a full ninety degrees to me. "Nova, I don't think you understand. Your way of doing things—it's not how I do things. You think you can just go in, kick them in the groin, and expect it all to work out, but that doesn't always work; in fact, it never works like that. Those people you fought in the alley in Modern Day London—those weren't very well-trained members. In that aspect, you just got lucky. Had they actually been trained professionals, they would've overpowered you in a heartbeat, with or without your mother there to aide you. Very rarely have I encountered someone who lacks much experience, but these people—the Shada Dämo—they're highly trained in what they do. I wouldn't be surprised if they've advanced in their technology since I dealt with them last; it has been centuries since I saw them last. I'm sorry, Nova, but it's out of the question. You're not experienced enough; you're not ready. It's best that I handle this with Strax. You'll do better with Madame Vastra. She needs your help. You're good at calming people when they're under stress. Help them in overcoming their fears; or at the very least, help them to control their fears."

I sigh back, rolling my eyes. "No offense, but that's nowhere near as interesting as infiltrating an enemy base."

"I know," Dad says sadly, "but you'll be much safer this one time with Vastra than with me. I won't let them take advantage of you if they find you as well."

"And I don't want Earth to be destroyed because of your fear!" I shoot back at him. "Not to mention my life being rewritten along with it! I don't want to lose you again! Please, Dad, you've got to let me go with you!" If I don't go with him, there's a high chance he'll get himself killed—again. I don't want to be responsible for that happening again! I can't! I won't!

"It's not gonna happen, Nova," he shakes his head again. "As I've said many times now, you're not ready to face a danger that extensive. You need more experience, and helping Vastra will help you gain that experience." He then reaches up to caress my cheek. "These people need you, Nova. Help me by helping them."

After he finishes, there is a sudden shudder as the carriage comes to a complete stop, followed by Stinx's voice informing us, "Madam! We have arrived at the drop-off point!"

"Thank you, Strax," Vastra says as she prepares to exit the carriage. "We will dismount shortly." She then turns to me as she opens the door. "I believe this is our stop."

I nod but don't say anything, feeling disturbed about the idea of leaving my father's side, especially after he'd insisted on me never leaving his side for the rest of this adventure. I guess the plans have changed. That always happens at the worst possible times.

"It's gonna be alright, Nova," he assures me as he continues to caress my cheek. "Don't worry about me. I've got Strax; he'll watch my back for me."

"I still think I should take his place," I say seriously. "I don't trust him with you." I worry that Strax will get him killed by doing something stupid, especially since he's proven to be the dumbest person in all of creation.

"I'll be alright," he says again. "You'll be alright. You've got Madame Vastra. She'll take good care of you."

Then again, that is a plus. "Rather she be my babysitter than Stinx," I say with a slight chuckle. "Not that I need a babysitter."

"No, but you do need someone to protect you," Dad says honestly. "Unfortunately, that 'someone' can't be me this time."

"I wish it could be," I sigh sadly, placing my hand over his. Honestly, I'd feel much more comfortable with him than with Vastra (no offense to her), especially since I've known him much longer.

"I know," he says as he pulls his hand away from my cheek and wraps it around the back of my neck, pulling me in to connect foreheads with him. "You'll be fine. I'm proud of you, you know. I will always be proud of you."

"Yeah," I say with a forced smile as I struggle to swallow back a knot that had formed in my throat.

Unfortunately, the calm moment is short-lived when Vastra speaks up, saying, "Nova! I hate to interrupt, but we must go. These people need our help. We shan't let them suffer any longer."

"Alright, I'm coming!" I reluctantly call back. I then sigh to Dad, looking up at him sadly, "Well…see you later, I guess."

"You most certainly will," he says with much confidence in his deep voice. "Don't think this is goodbye. I hate goodbyes."

His words suddenly make the knot in my throat tighten, making me think of my guardians, and how I left them without saying goodbye, and how I wish I did. "Me too," I mumble, fighting myself not to cry, as my eyes begin to fog up with tears. Before the tears have a chance to spill, I squeeze my eyes shut and wrap my arms around Dad's neck in one last hug. "See ya."

"I love you," he says, hugging me back. After another few seconds, he pulls away. "I will always love you, Nova Susan Song. Never forget that." He kisses my forehead before I reluctantly exit the carriage. His words make me think of Mom saying those exact words before she left us. Back when she was still my mother before she fell under the Vokanari's control.

I push that thought to the back of my mind as I join Vastra at her side.

"If all goes well," she says to Stinx as she closes the carriage door, separating me from my father, "meet us back at Paternoster Row."

"Yes, madam!" the cloaked Sontaran says with a nod. He then says to the horse as he pulls on the reins, "Onwards to battle, mighty beast!"

The carriage immediately begins pulling away, and I watch forlornly as Dad stares back at me through the window with equal sadness. He lifts a hand to the window as a way of encouraging me that everything is going to be okay, as he's said many times before, and I lift my own hand up to give a slight wave back. We stare at each other, neither of us blinking an eye, until the carriage veers around a corner and out of sight.

"Shall we?" Vastra says, gesturing down the road in the opposite direction.

"Yeah," I say as I reluctantly follow her.

As we walk, I can't stop thinking of Dad and what he's getting himself into. If it's true that the reptilian-eyed aliens have set a trap for him, I worry that it'll end up killing him exactly like the pirates killed him on our previous adventure. If he does end up dying, this would be the last time I would ever see him again—that ancient-but-young-looking face that stared back at me through the carriage window. Now more than ever, I wish I'd gone with him instead of Stinx.

"You are in great distress," Vastra suddenly speaks up, apparently sensing my nervousness. "You fear for your father's safety."

I sigh, feeling reluctant to tell her the truth. "I mean…the last time we separated…when I left him…he was killed. Murdered by a group of pirates that were after the TARDIS, though one of them was secretly a Vokanari member. I thought I'd never forgive myself. If things were different…if I wasn't born the way I was…" I immediately shake my head, not wanting to think about it further. "I don't want to make that same mistake again. That's why I should've gone with him instead of Strax. Better yet, I should've gone in Dad's place, so he doesn't have to. If he runs into that trap, and it kills him…"

"Don't fret, young one," Vastra says in a calming voice. "Your father is a very clever man. One of the cleverest people I've ever known…and the most stubborn." Her statement makes me laugh, knowing that to be all too true. I definitely get my stubbornness from both of my parents. "I don't disagree that he should have had someone else go in his place. But having you go in his place…I'm afraid I must disappoint you in agreeing with your father there."

"You don't trust me, do you?" I grunt, rolling my eyes. "You think I'm irresponsible, that I'm too young to be traveling with Dad." Why else would she also want me out of harm's way? All adults are the same, not allowing their kids—or anybody young in general—anywhere they shouldn't. Not giving them a chance to show how mature they really are, no matter what their elders might think. This has been something that's ticked me off my whole life, especially since I've started travelling with Dad. I mean, I get that he wants to keep me safe because I'm his daughter, but I don't get that he always has to treat me like a kid, even at eighteen; like my body is made of china that would easily break if dropped on the floor. Why can't he see that I'm not as delicate as I look; that I can take care of myself? That I don't always need protecting?

Vastra pauses, taken aback. "I never said such words, nor have I ever thought such thoughts."

I can't seem to stop the words from tumbling out of my mouth, to contain the anger boiling in my veins. "I know I'm only eighteen and lack experience in what Dad does for a living, but I want you guys to know that I do have what it takes! I can save the world just as easily as he can! I just wish you guys would give me a chance!"

Vastra sighs, keeping calm. "As much as he wants you to have that chance, as do I, he believes you are not yet ready. Besides which, it is not my place to decide what is best for you. That is for your father to decide, and he has decided that assisting me is the best and safest course of action for you. He has tasked me to keep you safe in his absence, and I must abide to his commands. I understand your frustration, Nova, but this is what is best for everyone, especially you. I suggest that you abide to your father's wishes, for he would not want any harm to come to you."

I sigh guiltily, knowing she is right about everything she said. "I'm sorry. I just…I hate not being normal, you know?" I then see Vastra's raised eyebrow, like she's unfamiliar with the word, and I explain, "I mean, I hate not being a regular teenager, to never be allowed to go anywhere that might be dangerous. But the thing is, there's danger literally around every corner. I'm bound to face danger at some point; hell, I already have, several times! I should be able to face and conquer the danger without the need for protection all the time. But because of what I am, I can't be normal; Dad actually admitted that. I wish I could prove him wrong, but I don't think I can. I've seen proof that as a Time Lord, nothing is ever going to be normal. In fact, nothing has ever been normal in my life. Not one thing!" I can feel my body shaking and my hearts-rate elevating out of frustration.

Vastra pauses for a minute before responding, "I understand. Because you are different, you think you don't belong, that you don't fit in. I, too, know what that feels like."

"You do?" I ask, feeling somewhat doubtful. How can she possibly know what I've been dealing with, when we've never met before this adventure?

She nods, gesturing to her veil over her face. "Of course. Why do you think I wear this veil in public?"

I shrug. "To hide your face. To hide the fact that you're not human." If that's not obvious, I don't know what is.

"Yes, that too," she nods again. "However, I wear this veil for another reason. The oldest reason there is for anything."

"Which is?" I ask, puzzled.

"To be accepted," she confirms. "I wear a veil to keep from view what many are pleased to call my 'disfigurement.' I do not wear it as a courtesy to such people but as a judgement on the quality of their hearts." Her words sound more angered as she speaks them, and I can't help feeling guiltier.

"I-I mean…I would never think of you that way," I say, feeling awkward.

"But you did, when we first met," she says pointedly, and it makes me think back to the time when I was sitting in a Victorian-style carriage with two aliens for company (Vastra and Dad), which I found highly amusing at the time; however, I didn't realize how much that seemed to anger Vastra until now. "I could see it in your eyes. You judged my appearance with much amusement…just as you judge yourself now."

"What?" I say with a frown, feeling slightly offended. How in the hell am I judging myself?

"You treat yourself like a burden because you do not see yourself as 'normal,'" she says in a judgmental tone. "You resent your 'powers,' despite them having saved your life many times, as well as your father's. He told me the story of how you saved his life during your previous adventure with him. He also told me that you seem to hate yourself for not being human, and that you don't seem to realize that your 'non-humanness,' as you call it, has benefited you in many ways. You wish for us to give you a chance to prove yourself, but you refuse to give yourself a chance. You refuse to remove your own veil. You refuse to be accepted as you are. Tell me I'm wrong."

Her words leave me totally speechless, as well as immensely guilty. I don't appreciate myself for judging Vastra's lizard-like appearance; however, I am astounded that everything she said about me, I realize, is actually true. I never realized until now that I have actually been judging myself my entire life. Apparently, even Dad has noticed this; though he, surprisingly, never said anything about it, at least not to me. Like Vastra said, I always thought my otherworldly powers were a burden, but they've actually benefited me since the beginning. If it weren't for my regenerative abilities, the aspirin would have killed me outright, same for when I used them to resurrect my father from permanent death. Without my otherworldly abilities, neither of us would still be alive today.

I also realize that Vastra and I have something in common: we both want to be accepted. Vastra wants to be accepted, despite her 'disfigurement’ (not that I would call it 'disfigurement,’ as she is actually very beautiful, especially without the veil), and I want to be accepted as a normal person, despite being Time Lord. Of course Vastra knows what being different feels like; she's practically gone through the exact same thing as me her whole life.

"You're…not wrong," I admit uncomfortably, feeling immensely awkward.

"So now you understand," Vastra smiles under her veil. "You and I are very much alike."

"Yes, I see that now," I say, smiling back. "I'm sorry I judged you."

"No apology necessary," she says, shaking her head. "I just wanted to help you open your eyes."

"They're open now…" I nod. "Mostly." I know it's been a huge struggle to accept my non-humanness, but I hope I learn to accept it.

One day.

After a minute of awkward silence, I ask Vastra curiously, "So… How…uh…how is someone like you able to exist here in Victorian London? I mean, you're from the Prehistoric Period, right; like, back when the dinosaurs still existed? That was, like, billions of years ago. How is it that you're still here? Alive?" If she's been alive this whole time, she must be billions of years old, which would be even older than my father.

Vastra seems to perk up at this somewhat happier topic. "Yes, I was born in what you call the 'Prehistoric Period.' I saw the dinosaurs when I was a little girl; I was even able to identify their gender at that age. During that time, my people built a city under the surface of the Earth while the dinosaurs thrived up top. One day, after hearing an explosion from the surface, which had extinguished all living things up top, my people, including myself, went into stasis to protect ourselves. Millions of years later, in the year 1880, I was awakened by a group of human workers that were constructing the tunnel system that would be the London Underground. They ended up slaughtering my family by accident, but at the time I believed it was intentional. I avenged my sisters by slaughtering them back, and that was when I met your father. He convinced me not to give into my rage and to attempt to make peace with the humans instead. I reluctantly agreed, and I integrated myself into this 'Victorian' world as a private detective."

"And Jenny…" I ask with a raised eyebrow. "Is she… Are you guys…together?"

She nods. "Yes, we are 'together.' She is my maid and wife."

"Oh! She's your wife! That would explain why you've been so worried about her." I feel like an idiot for having not realized this sooner.

"Yes," she says in a seemingly worried tone. "I hope your father is able to find her and bring her home. She's been away from me for far too long."

"She's not dead; we know that now," I say with much confidence. "He'll find her. I know he will." I then say to myself in a soft murmur, "I just hope those creepers don't find him first." Needless to say, if that happens, we're massively screwed.

Suddenly, as if on cue, a bloodcurdling scream is heard from a nearby house.

Speaking of which, I think in my head as a response to the scream, it sounds like they may have found us first.

"Come!" Vastra calls to me, gesturing for me to follow her. "We must help!"

We run toward the house, and I attempt to open the door, but I find that it's locked. I pound on the door, yelling, "Please! Let us in! We want to help! Come on, open the door!" I continue pounding on the door, and it eventually opens. I don't think twice as I push myself past the homeowner, and once I enter the small living room within, I am met with a horrific sight. A massive tarantula the size of a bowling ball scuttles across the floor, and once it approaches one of the homeowners—a lady who appears to be in her late sixties—it leaps up and seemingly tackles the woman to the floor, stabbing her eyes through her skull with its spindly legs. The woman screams in pain and agony.

"Fudgeknuckle!" I scream in horror. I immediately grab the nearest blunt object I can find—the skinny neck of a lamp—and attempt to whack the spider. I manage to swat it off of the poor woman's body and flatten it against the floor, but I am unable to properly kill it, as it manages to dodge my attack. The spider then attempts to come after me, but I kick it away with my foot, sending it crashing behind the family's dining table.

"Whose fear is this?" I yell over the family's terrified screams. "Tell me! I can help!"

"My son!" a younger woman—presumably the daughter of the old woman—gestures to a small boy writhing on the family's couch, his eyes squeezed firmly shut. I realize that this boy is asleep and is having a nightmare—a nightmare of the giant spider attacking his own family in his own house.

I immediately run to the boy's side and attempt to wake him by shaking his shoulders. "Wake up! Come on! You need to wake up!" I lightly slap the boy on the cheek, but he doesn't respond; he doesn't even flinch. I grunt to the young woman, who I assume to be the boy's mother, "He won't wake! Quick! What's something that can wake him? Can you do something? Please! Tell me!"

"I-I tried singing to him, b-but it didn't work!" the mother says, growing more and more desperate.

"Did you try whispering to him?" I suggest. "Talking to him? What's something that makes him happy, or laugh? Come on, think of something!" That's something my guardians always taught me when I was scared.

"I-I don't know!" the mother says, seemingly losing all hope. "I don't know what to do! My poor boy!" She leans over and strokes the boy's hair in a fruitless attempt to wake him.

"Perhaps I could try something!" I suggest to the mother. "Will you let me near your son?" She pauses, unsure, and I say, "I can help him! Please, trust me!"

"Please, miss!" the mother says, stepping aside. "Do something!"

"What's your boy's name?" I ask as I kneel beside him.

"Henry!" the mother replies with tearful eyes.

"Right," I nod as I hand her the lamp neck. "Keep the spider away from us! I'll try to wake him!" I then lean over Henry, who continues writhing on the sofa in his sleep. I begin whispering softly to him. "Henry? Can you hear me? My name is Nova. I'm here to help you. I don't like spiders either, but you know what, it's not real. What you're seeing is just an illusion. Please, you must wake up!" I pause, but Henry continues screaming, unable to wake. I try again. "Come on, Henry! You can do it! Wake up! Don't let it control you!"

It's no use. The boy continues screaming. Meanwhile, the spider continues to attack the family, who are unable to keep the creature at bay any longer.

I suddenly get an idea. An awesomely clever idea! There is a moment in the third Harry Potter book/film, when Ron Weasley faces a Boggart in the form of his worst fear—a spider—and he has to use magic to turn it into something funny. I wonder if I can use that same idea, and get the boy to picture the same thing. Perhaps that'll help him overcome his fear.

I realize that simply speaking to him isn't going to do much good, and I am left with only one other option.

Under normal circumstances, I would not attempt something like this on strangers, but I don't have any other choice. I place my hands on Henry's temples, and I bring the knowledge and skill that Dad had taught me to the forefront of my brain.

'Henry,' I whisper in his head, 'I know you can hear me now. I'm trying to help you. You're scared of spiders; I'm scared of them too. You're not alone. But there's a way to deal with them. If you can't take the first blunt object you can find and whack it into a pancake, picture this. Put roller-skates on the spider's legs. Or, if you don't know what roller-skates are—in fact, I'm not sure if they even exist yet—think of your favorite pair of shoes and picture them with wheels on the bottom. Then take those shoes with wheels and picture them on each of the spider's legs. That'll give the spider a few issues. It'll be funny, trust me. Picture the spider with roller-skates on. Do it. Now.'

I pause and wait for the boy to calm slightly.

Luckily, it seems to work. I suddenly hear the sound of wheels behind me, and I turn to see the funniest sight I've ever seen. I fail to hold back a snort as I watch the spider struggle to stay upright due to old-fashioned-looking 'roller-skates' on each leg. The moment is short-lived as the mother takes the opportunity to smash the spider several times with the lamp neck until it eventually stops moving altogether. Once the spider 'dies,' Henry immediately wakes up with a gasp.

I smile proudly at him. "You did it! Nice job!"

"Mum!" Henry cries, reaching out toward his mother, who immediately runs to him and hugs him tightly.

"Oh, Henry!" the mother sobs. "Oh, my boy! You're alright!"

Breathless, I smile at the mother and son before I turn to the spider's carcass to see it crumble to ashes, much like the Master did after Strax shot him between the eyes.

"Thank you, miss," the mother eventually acknowledges me.

"No problem," I say, smiling back. I then glance at the other family members. A man, presumably the father, comforts the older woman, whose eyes are bloody, and I feel guilty that I wasn't fast enough to stop the spider from tearing out her eyes, but at least the lady survived, despite having to be blind for the rest of her life. "I'm so sorry," I say with heavy hearts.

"Whoever you are, young lady," the man says kindly, "you saved us. You saved my son. I am eternally grateful."

I smile back at him, but then I suddenly pause. There is someone standing out the window…

Someone with reptilian eyes.

I immediately run outside to find the reptilian-eyed stranger, completely ignoring Vastra, who asks with a puzzled frown, "Nova! Where are you going?"

"I'll be right back!" I tell her. "There's something I have to check!"

Not very far away, I see the reptilian-eyed man round a corner and into an alley (great, here we go again!), and I rush to follow. I manage to follow very closely behind until I come across a large clearing filled with dumpsters. Unfortunately, once I reach this area, I end up losing sight of the mysterious man in the white hospital coat.

"Shit! Where did he go?" I grunt.

I peek around some of the dumpsters, and I suddenly come across the reptilian-eyed man in the white coat again, only this time he doesn't run off. Instead, he approaches me with a devious smirk, which sends creepy vibes up my spine.

"Who are you?" I demand as he approaches me, and I suddenly find myself backing cautiously away from him. "What are you doing here? What do you want?"

I gasp as I suddenly back into the chest of another reptilian-eyed man with a similar lab coat. I try getting out of the way, but they end up surrounding me. Something in the back of my mind suddenly tells me that I've made a huge mistake leaving Vastra, but it's too late. The men position themselves around me, preventing me from running away, and once I realize this, my hearts immediately go into overdrive, the sense of danger reaching peak point.

The reptilian-eyed man I stupidly followed into the alley continues smirking at me, speaking for the first time in a raspy voice, "We want your fear…Time Lord."

I have no time to react as something sharp—the needle of a syringe—enters the side of my neck, and I feel a warm liquid enter my bloodstream. Not even a second later, my vision goes blurry, and I feel myself fall into a dark oblivion.

Chapter Text

I wake up seconds—or minutes, or hours, or god knows how long—later, feeling like my body has been run over by an eighteen-wheeler. My vision is hazy, but I can barely make out the familiar white hospital room, as well as another reptilian-eyed alien; or perhaps it could be the same alien as last time, when I saw the world through Jenny’s eyes. I briefly wonder if I am, indeed, back in Jenny’s mind again, but this doesn’t feel like someone else’s mind. I am, in fact, in my own body, which means that what I am seeing is real.

The lizard-eyed alien, who is still wearing his surgical mask, hovers over me with a devious look in his eyes. He leans closer to me, and I want to speak, move, attack—something—but I feel absolutely nothing in my limbs, like he’s knocked me up with some kind of anesthesia.

“We have been fooled,” he growls at me. “You are not the Doctor.”

I am unable to speak words out loud, so I say in my head, Of course not, dumbass. I’m his daughter. Clearly you didn’t pay enough attention, seeing as you obviously caught the wrong Time Lord.

“Scans show you share the Doctor’s DNA,” the alien continues, “but it is not a precise match. Scans show small traces of human DNA in you, but the source of the human DNA is unknown.”

I frown. ‘Unknown?’ I obviously got my human DNA from my mother! Who else?

Then again, my mother’s DNA actually came from the Time Vortex, aside from her human parents, so I would understand the confusion.

“There have been whispers across all of Time and Space that spoke of a child ‘hybrid’ born of both human and Time Lord descent,” the alien says, “and scans show that you are that child, proving the whispers to be true. We wondered when we would ever make your acquaintance, Nova.”

Honestly, I’m surprised they know who I am, considering I’ve never been outside Earth until our previous adventure. My reputation must precede me, though how, I have no idea, and I’m not sure I want to know.

The pleasure is all yours, I growl back at him. What makes them think that I would ever want to be acquainted with genocidal monsters such as these guys? They destroyed their own planet just to scare their own people! How sick is that?!

“Your father was a fool to trust you to that Homo-Reptilian imbecile,” the alien sneers at me, “and now that you are here, we believe you will be quite useful to us. Now that you are within our grasp, he will have no choice but to come to us and claim you back.” He then smirks down at me; at least, I can imagine him doing that under his mask. “Better yet, we will come to him, and you will help us locate him.”

I am able to gather enough strength in my mouth-muscles to snap through the oxygen mask over my face, “I’ll…never…help…you.”

The alien chuckles. “Oh, but you will. With your own fear.”

“I’ll…fight…it,” I snap back, and at this point I lose the strength to say anything else.

The alien shakes his head, continuing to snigger, “No… You will become it.” He then adjusts the machine next to me, which pumps more sedative into my system and makes me sleepier. “You belong to us now. Nothing is stronger than fear, and nothing will stop us.” Those are the last words I hear before I pass out…

…Before waking up again, this time in a different place entirely, and, strangely enough, in an entirely different body. I briefly wonder if I’ve regenerated again, but this doesn’t feel like that type of body-change. I glance around and notice that I am in a large tunnel with running water that looks and smells awful—a sewer of sorts—and everything seems to take on a red tinge.

I walk on all fours to the edge of the water, and once I see my reflection— the smooshed face of a mutt with glowing eyes like hot coals and a thirst for blood—I immediately pull back in fear at the hideous sight.

This can’t be real; I scream at myself.

But it is. I look down at my hands—or rather, large furry paws with long nails, and my fear is confirmed. I’ve turned into one of those things! Those cannibalistic ‘mutt’ things from that dead planet; the thing that ravaged that multi-eyed Vokanari member until there was nothing left.

I feel my hearts—heart, as I only have one now—go into overdrive in that moment, and then there is a sudden pain in my head, and a task is given:

Sniff out the Doctor.

No, I think to myself, shaking my head, not just that. I have to warn him. Warn him that the ‘Shadow Demons,’ or whatever they’re called, are coming for him, and they’re using me to do it.

I don’t seem to be able to control my—this—body, as I somehow manage to get a scent…

The scent of another Time Lord—Dad.

I can only watch as my body moves involuntarily toward what I assume to be the exit of the sewer, all the while following the scent to Dad’s location: Number 13, Paternoster Row. No doubt the lizard-eyed aliens are following me, but losing them, or directing them away from the house, is, regrettably, fruitless.

Somehow, even in the dark (I must’ve been in that cursed ‘hospital’ for hours; literally all day), I manage to find my way back to the house; however, I can’t seem to enter the house, as the front door is locked. I circle the house, trying to find another way in, to warn everyone of the danger that isn’t too far away.

I am able to break through the window of one of the upstairs bedrooms, which happens to be the room I was assigned to on our first night here. Once I’m in, I break down the bedroom door and step onto the landing in the main hall.

Of course, Madame Vastra, Strax, and Dad had heard the crash upstairs from me, and they rush out of the living room downstairs and gasp once they set eyes on me.

I immediately begin telling them everything. “Dad! Thank god I found you guys! The reptilian-eyed freaks—they captured me!” However, my words don’t sound like normal words. Instead, all anyone hears is hungry growling.

“Dear Goddess!” Vastra cries at the sight of me, clearly neither understanding nor recognizing me (of course not, because this isn’t my actual body!). “What is that?”

“A Paroobian Mutt, by the looks of it,” Dad frowns. “Deadly creatures. Strange…Paroobian Mutts are only native to Contraxia, which was a planet located in the Paroobian Spiral Galaxy, twelve-trillion-trillion light-years away. What’s it doing on Earth?”

“Guys!” I try to speak again, but, again, it only sounds like growls. “I’m not a mutt; I mean, this isn’t my real body! It’s me, Nova! Please, hear me out! The lizard-eyed people, they’re—”

“Never mind where it’s from!” Vastra shakes her head. “What’s it doing in my house? How did it find us?”

“Please, listen to me!” I beg. “You’re not safe here! You have to ru—”

“I don’t know,” Dad says, “but I didn’t bring it here. I’m certain of that.” He then pauses in realization, and I can sense his thoughts, and a wave of hope floods through me. “Unless…”

‘Unless this isn’t an actual Paroobian Mutt. In which case, this is, in fact, someone’s fear come to life—particularly Nova’s since she is the only one to have seen these creatures recently.’

Yes, Dad! That’s exactly right!

He then steps forward toward me, cocking his head to the side. ‘Nova?’ he asks me telepathically.

‘Dad!’ I cry in a relieved tone. ‘It’s me! I’m your daughter! I’m Nova! Please, you must see me!’

Vastra, however, doesn’t seem convinced. She pulls Dad back, saying in a warning tone, “Doctor, you mustn’t get too close. As you said, it is deadly.”

“Allow me to destroy this vermin for the glory of Sontar!” Strax says, suddenly stepping forward and raising his gun, pointing it at me. “Sontar-Ha!”

“Strax, no!” Dad shouts, but it’s too late. Strax fires his gun at me, and a bright energy beam hits me in the shoulder, putting a hole in it. I howl in pain but manage to stay on my feet. In a sudden fit of anger, I swipe at the Sontaran, knocking the gun out of his hands.

“Strax, you imbecile!” Vastra shrieks as she and Dad pull him away from me. “You’ll only anger it further!”

“Madam, it attacked me!” the Sontaran protests. “I must destroy it before it attacks again! I will not accept defeat today!”

“Strax, shut up!” Dad snaps at him. “It’s not an ‘it!’ it’s Nova!”

‘Yes!’ I breathe a sigh of relief. ‘It’s me!’

“Yes, Nova, I know it’s you,” he says, smiling grimly at me. “I’m sorry. I am so sorry this happened to you.”

Vastra stares back-and-forth between Dad and I, completely stunned. “This creature is Nova? Explain yourself, Doctor!”

I speak up telepathically. ‘There’s no time! Dad, listen! The ‘Shadow’ guys—they captured me! They’re holding me at their hospital-base, and they’re using my fear to find you! They’re on their way here now! You guys need to run; get away from here! Please!’

“You led them here?” Dad asks with a frown, like he can’t believe I’ve betrayed him; like I’d betrayed everyone.

‘I had no choice!’ I protest. ‘They’re controlling my body somehow; at least, they were! I have control now, but only partially! They’re close by; I can smell them! They’re outside the house now! Please, you have to run!’ At this point, we all begin hearing banging outside the house from the other side of the main door.

“Nova! Listen to me!” Dad says in a pointed tone, forcing me to focus on him. “You’re going to be alright! I’m going to find you! Wherever you are, I will find you!” He says those words like he doesn’t care what would happen, not even if the lizard-eyed aliens capture him for his fear. From the sound of his words, he’d be willing to sacrifice everything—himself, his own fear, even all of Space-Time—just to get me back.

But I can’t let him do that. Not by a longshot! ‘No! You can’t let them take you! I won’t let them take you! You have to run! Please!’

The door is suddenly blown open in a massive cloud of smoke and wood shavings, and the lizard-eyed aliens storm into the house with guns and immediately begin shooting at us. Vastra and Strax attempt to fight back, but they are not fast enough as they are both shot in the chest and collapse to the floor.

“Vastra!” Dad cries for his beloved friends. “Strax!”

I won’t let them do the same to Dad. I position myself between him and the aliens, blocking them from getting anywhere near him. If they want to touch him, they will have to do it over my dead body—my real one!

“Doctor!” one of the aliens growls, raising his gun toward us—rather, at Dad.

‘Dad! RUN!’ I scream as I go to attack the aliens, attempting to swipe them with my claws.

“You have outlived your usefulness!” the alien that acknowledged Dad says as it raises its gun and shoots me square in the chest, and my vision immediately goes dark.

I immediately wake up back in the hospital, with the same alien as before hovering over me, this time holding a syringe filled with a yellow liquid, and the sense of danger immediately floods through me.

“Sweet dreams, Time Lady,” the alien sniggers as he prepares to stick me with the needle.

However, my instincts kick in. In the span of a single second, I blast the alien in the chest with my regeneration energy, the force making him lose his grip on the syringe, dropping it to the floor. I immediately pull the oxygen mask off my face, as well as several IVs all at once, and pin the alien to the floor, sitting on his hips. He attempts to grab the syringe with the eerie liquid, but I grab it before he does, and without thinking twice, I jab the needle straight into his neck, pushing on the trigger and forcing the liquid into his body.

Not long after, the most horrifying thing happens. The alien’s body begins convulsing uncontrollably, but that’s not the most horrifying part. As he’s convulsing, his skin begins shriveling up like a raisin, like all the fluid in his body is drying out. I immediately jump up from his hips when I see green/yellow blood seeping out from under him, as well as through his mask, pooling around him and simmering through his skin. I fight myself not to vomit as he continues mummifying until he stops moving altogether, and he is nothing but bones and blood.

“Oh my god!” I scream as I back away in shock.

Thank god my instincts kicked in, otherwise that could’ve been me!

That’s the second time, on just this trip alone, that someone has come extremely close to outright killing me! Whatever the hell that stuff was, I seriously doubt that Regeneration would’ve saved me, considering what it had done to this guy. This must be a normal thing for Dad, as, from my personal experience, at least one of us had gotten killed, or close to being killed, on both trips. I’m honestly not sure how much more of this I can handle.

Once I’ve gotten over the shock, I rise from the floor and look around the room. To my left, I see at least six other ‘hospital patients’ lying on other gurneys and attached to other machines and monitors, the screens showing their vitals as well as personal fears. The people vary in age from teens to seventy-year-olds. I don’t recognize any of the faces to be Jenny, but I believe she must be somewhere else in the clinic. I just have to find her. As much as I want to help these other people, Jenny is my number-one priority.

At the far end of the room, I spot a shelf with various pieces of clothing—presumably owned by the ‘patients’—including my own; or rather, the dress I borrowed from Jenny’s wardrobe. Figuring that I don’t have time to change into the dress, I grab my Chuck Taylors and slip them on my feet, keeping my hospital gown on. Needless to say, I’m extremely disgusted that I was undressed against my consent again; not to mention that I was undressed by lizard-eyed perverts from another world. I even find a large bowl filled with valuables belonging to the patients as well, including, luckily enough, my sonic screwdriver (I had purposefully left my phone and Gallifreyan locket at Vastra’s for fear of losing them to the sickos).

“Good thing my sonic is still here,” I think aloud as I take it from the bowl. “I’m surprised they haven’t stolen it for themselves; probably shouldn’t jinx it, though.” Perhaps they thought it was a lucky pen or something, and not some futuristic tool that does whatever you ‘point and think’ it to do.

Gripping my sonic tightly in hand, I peek through the door and into the hallway and, surprisingly, see no one patrolling; however, I do notice that the hallway looks exactly like a typical spaceship out of a Star Trek episode; in fact, the hallways liken to the corridors of the Starship Enterprise.

I see another door next to the one I’d just left, and when I peek inside, as the door is left slightly ajar, I see more ‘patients,’ and one of them immediately catches my eye. The monitor above a brunette woman closest to the door shows a familiar lizard-woman and Sontaran (Vastra and Strax respectively) lying motionless on the floor, and a pair of hands are hovering above their bodies in a seeming attempt to wake them. This realization automatically brings me to the conclusion that this woman must be Jenny—the woman I came here to rescue.

I prepare to enter the room when I suddenly see another lizard-eyed doctor come into view behind the door and approach Jenny’s side, and I feel both hearts immediately drop in terror once I see the syringe filled with the familiar yellow liquid—the deadly poison that was very nearly used on me just seconds ago next door. I immediately come up with a clever distraction to get the sicko away from Jenny and prevent him from doing the same to her.

“Knock-knock!” I call to him as I proceed to literally knock on the door. I slip behind the door as the alien turns and approaches with a confused frown, still holding the syringe. Once he opens the door, I say with a smile, “Hi, I’m here for my 11:30 appointment!” before punching the guy hard in the jaw, knocking him unconscious. “Asshole,” I growl as I enter the room, shaking off the soreness in my hand. No freaking way was I going to let him attempt to kill Jenny almost exactly like how his bastard of a buddy almost killed me next door. I’d kill him first before he’d even attempt to go after Jenny, or anybody else.

In fact, I am very much tempted to do just that, anyway. The moment he hit the floor, the syringe clattered noisily to the floor next to him, but its contents, luckily, didn’t spill. Snatching up the syringe, I greatly consider using it on the sick son of a bitch, but a sudden thought makes me pause. In reality, I personally have no reason to kill him, even though he’d gone after Jenny instead; but he and his buddy must’ve been given orders to kill us, since they no longer need us as bait now that they know (because of me) where Dad is. Jenny and I have, indeed, outlived our usefulness, since we were used specifically to find Dad, and now that they know where he is…

No. I mustn’t think about that. Enough wasting time. I need to focus.

Luckily, there are no other aliens around. I immediately run up to Jenny’s body, her body looking gaunt from severe malnutrition. I watch her monitor for a few seconds, feeling sad that she can’t do anything for her friends, especially since they haven’t been able to physically see her for days, as she’s just an astral projection. This must be her greatest fear, I realize—to not be able to be seen by her loved ones, no matter how much she tries to get them to.

God, every single one of those days must have been awful. I can’t imagine…

After a few more seconds of watching the monitor, I notice that Dad is nowhere to be seen. Perhaps Dad was able to escape, despite the need to stick around to help his friends.

Perhaps he’s on his way here to save me, like he promised.

Either way, we can’t stay here. I have to get Jenny out of here before any other aliens come back. Even if they do come back, at least now I have something I can use against them.

“I’m so sorry, Jenny,” I say, looking down at her, “I’ll have you free soon.” I go to the machine and adjust it to turn off the setting that controls sedation, and I watch as Jenny slowly wakes up. “Jenny?” I whisper to her gently. “Jenny Flint? Are you alright?”

“Nova?” she whispers, frowning at me with uncertainty, like she’s not entirely sure I’m actually here.

I smile and nod. “Yeah, that’s me. Dad sent me—I mean, the Doctor; he’s my dad. He sent me to rescue you. Well, he didn’t exactly send me. I sorta sent myself. I got captured in his place, which wasn’t exactly his plan; it was actually mine, but not really.”

Ugh, shut up, Nova! There’s no time for your rambling!

“It’s complicated,” I shrug as I step aside to give Jenny more room to sit up.

“Where is he?” she asks worriedly as she swings her bare legs over the side of the gurney. “Where’s the Doctor?”

“I don’t know,” I say as I begin detaching her IVs. “Last I saw him, he was at Vastra’s house, but—”

“But they were attacked,” she finishes. “Yes, I know. I saw those men with the reptilian eyes break into the house. They shot everyone, including the Doctor. They took him away.”

These words send a shudder down my spine, confirming my fears. Dad didn’t escape. He was captured, just like me and everyone else here.

And it’s all my fault. Again!

“They must be taking him here…” I growl, fighting myself not to let out my anger, “wherever ‘here’ is. We need to be ready for them when they come back with him. We have to stop them, plus get everybody else out. We can’t leave these people, certainly not Dad.” I then ask, turning to Jenny, “Can you stand? We need to wake as many people as we can and get them out of here.” I figure I can at least save a few people, if not all of them.

“I can stand,” she says as she struggles to her feet, “but we shouldn’t stay here. We need to go back to Madame Vastra’s and make sure they’re okay. We can come back for everyone else when we have higher numbers. We can’t stop these men with just the two of us.”

As much as I want to save these people, Jenny is right. Who knows how many lizard-eyed freaks are in control of this ship, and taking them all down with just the two of us seems like a longshot. “You’re right,” I sigh. “We need to regroup and come up with a proper plan, and fast.” I then ask hesitantly, “Uh…I don’t suppose you know the way out, do you?”

Jenny frowns as if trying to remember. “I might. I vaguely remember wandering around this ship while in my transparent form. Somewhere on this ship, there is a portal that leads right into the sewers under the city.”

“Good!” I praise her. “We’ll find that and get the hell out of here before those freaks come back.”

Glancing over at the far end of the room, I see another shelf with the patients’ clothes, and I ask Jenny where hers are, and to at least put her shoes on so it’s easier to get around without being barefoot. Luckily she didn’t have any valuables on her.

“Come on,” I say after I help her get her shoes on, “let’s go.”

Once we get out into the hallway, Jenny pauses, remembering where the exit is. She points to the left side, saying, “The way out is this way.” We begin walking hastily in that direction, hoping we don’t run into any lizard-eyed demons along the way.

“How big is this ship?” I ask curiously after a minute of walking.

“Not very,” Jenny shrugs. “It’s about the same size as Westminster Abbey.”

“Oh, yeah, that’s not very big at all,” I say, shaking my head, remembering walking through the church with Hazel when we visited. “I expected this ship to be bigger; much bigger, though obviously not as big as the TAR—”

“Hush!” Jenny abruptly cries, immediately stopping. “Someone’s coming! Quick, in here!” She then grabs my hand and pulls me inside a nearby room and shuts the door. We remain quiet as we hear multiple heavy footsteps entering the corridor from the direction of the supposed exit.

As the footsteps get closer, I get a familiar sense. A sense that another Time Lord is close by.

Dad.

I don’t say anything as we see at least three white-coated aliens pass by, appearing to carry something in their arms. I squint through the crack in the door and see the aliens are carrying a body dressed in familiar purple clothing, but I can’t tell who it is from this angle; perhaps another poor soul they’ve snatched from the streets. At the same time as the group passes us, the sense of Dad’s presence heightens.

The moment the group passes us completely, we peek out into the hall to see them carrying the body to the far end of the corridor, and I get a full glimpse of the body’s slack face, and I feel both hearts drop in terror again.

“Dad…”

“Okay, the way’s clear,” Jenny whispers from behind me. “Now’s our chance. Nova?”

“That’s Dad,” I say in shock as I watch the lizard-eyed sickos carry him around the corner and out of sight. “They have Dad.” I prepare to go after them, but Jenny stops me by pulling my arm.

“I’m sorry, Nova,” she says, shaking her head. “We can’t do anything for him now. The exit is just around the corner. We must go. Come on!” She pulls me along as we run through a hazy-looking hole in the wall and into the sewers. “Come on! I know the way back from here!”

“Me too,” I nod. “This is where I woke up as that…thing.” It sends chills down my spine, just thinking about it. Regardless, I look over the edge of the water, and I’m relieved to see my own face looking back at me.

“This way!” Jenny starts walking when she suddenly pauses and sways slightly on her feet.

“Whoa!” I exclaim as I step forward to steady her. “Slow down, Jenny. You’re still weak.”

“I’m alright,” she assures me, but I know she’s lying. In fact, this brings me back in time to when Dad said the exact same thing when he was coughing up large amounts of blood from the result of a punctured heart.

“Here, let me help you,” I say as I swing her arm over my shoulders as a way to keep her standing, much like I helped Dad on our previous adventure. “It’s okay,” I say as we begin walking again, “I get it. You haven’t been on your feet in over a week.”

“I’m…so…hungry…” she says in a weak voice, and her body weight seems to feel heavier as she gradually loses strength, but I’m determined to get us out of here, back to her friends.

“I know,” I nod sadly. “We’ll get some food in you once we get back to the house."

As if right on cue, a loud warning bell rings out through the tunnels from the ship we'd just left, giving me the impression that the aliens have discovered our daring escape; either that, or one of the other aliens has discovered the body—rather, what is left of the body—of his comrade in the room where they kept me. "That's our cue to vamoose," I say as I grip Jenny's wrist tightly, keeping her steady against me. "Come on." She gives me a sideways glance of uncertainty, and I assure her, saying, "Don't worry. We can make it. Trust me.”

We manage to make it back to the house in half an hour, though the place appears to be trashed, especially from the outside, the front door having been blasted completely off its hinges, and debris strewn all over the main foyer.

“We made it!” I sigh in relief. “I told you we’d make it!” Jenny smiles back.

“Jenny!” an anxious-looking Vastra emerges from the house, rushing to us, followed closely by a defeated Strax. “You’re alive!” she says happily as she embraces her friend and wife tightly.

“Thanks to Nova,” Jenny smiles, facing me. “She saved me.”

Vastra pulls away, holding Jenny by her shoulders, sighing contently. “I’m glad you two are alright.” She then turns to me, looking around with a frown, “Where is your father? When Strax and I came to, he was absent.”

“They took him,” I sigh regretfully. “We saw them bring him in while we were escaping. We would’ve stopped them, but between the two of us we were outnumbered. We figured we’d come back here and regroup with you guys.”

Vastra nods understandingly. “Yes, that was a much wiser decision. Thank you for bringing Jenny home, my dear. Your father would be very proud.” I smile back at her with a light nod.

“And I am proud to see you boys have survived a glorious battle!” Strax speaks up. “Though I am ashamed to know that I was not notified that you had gone to battle without me! I am also ashamed to know that you two have decided to retreat before the battle was officially over! You should be ashamed of yourselves!” He then turns to me with a smile, which makes me uncomfortable. “Although, I will make you an exception. You fought valiantly in your beast form; though I daresay I do not appreciate the fact that you defeated me in battle.”

I frown, feeling awkward. “Uh…sorry. I wasn’t exactly in control of my ‘beast form,’ but…thanks, I guess.” I then shake my head. “Anyway, that’s not important. What’s important is that we need to come up with a plan to get back to that ship and stop the sickos before they hurt Dad.” The last time I left his side, that got him killed, and I’m not about to let that happen again.

“Yes,” Vastra nods in agreement. “We need to strategize our next move before the unthinkable happens.”

In that moment, as if right on cue, a ginormous explosion erupts from somewhere down the street, and a mushroom-cloud rises in the sky over the buildings. A sky that has strangely turned from dark blue to a bright orange/red in the blink of an eye, with large circular shapes descending from the thick clouds. Several beams of light shoot down from the bizarre saucers, and millions of small objects descend from the saucers, shooting down on the city as well, screaming one word:

Exterminate.

“What’s happened to the sky?” I ask as I watch the smaller objects glide through the air, shooting everything in their line of sight. “And what are those flying drones?” They’re not planes, nor are they birds. There’s only one other explanation: they are beings from another world, and we are witnessing another alien invasion. Though, I get the disturbing feeling like this is more than just an invasion.

Much more.

“Those are not drones, Nova,” Vastra says in a distressed tone. “They are Daleks. It is just what I feared. It is happening again.”

“What is?” I ask, puzzled.

I turn to her, and I see her face pale; rather, her face has lightened to a brighter shade of green.

“The War. The Last Great Time War.”

Chapter Text

I don’t know much about the Time War, but from what little Dad has told me, it was the absolute worst war in the history of Space-Time. The War was fought between two sides: Dad’s people, the Time Lords/Gallifreyans, and squid-like aliens known as Daleks, that go around in large battle tanks with a thirst to kill. The War lasted centuries until one fateful day, when Dad decided to end it entirely by using a powerful ‘galaxy-eater,’ known as The Moment, to wipe out the Daleks, as well as the Time Lords, forever. It allegedly happened, and somehow Dad was left as the sole survivor, even when The Moment’s explosion was meant to kill him too.

And now, centuries later, it is happening again, this time on Earth. Rather, Dad is making it happen again—of course, not by choice. The ‘Shadow Demons’ (or whatever they’re technically called) are the ones responsible, and they’re using Dad’s fear of the Time War to take revenge on him for allegedly wiping out their world long ago (even though, technically, they were responsible for that, too). They believed Dad had purposefully destroyed their planet, and now they’re forcing Dad to destroy Earth in the exact same way.

And it’s only a matter of time until that happens, which could literally happen at any time.

“What do we do?” Jenny asks fearfully, clinging tightly to her wife’s waist as she watches the Dalek drones flying through the blood-orange sky and destroying everything and everyone in sight. A few Daleks even fly toward us, shooting everything as they go.

“Everyone, get inside!” Vastra orders as she begins running inside the house, gripping Jenny’s hand tightly and pulling her along as well.

However, Strax thinks differently. “It is inadvisable to retreat, madam! We should stand our ground and fight for the glory of Sontar!”

Oh! My! God! Can he be any stupider?

“With what, Strax?” Jenny frowns. “All of our weapons are inside!”

“Hey, if he wants to die, let him!” I shrug. “Meanwhile, those of us who actually have a brain should get out of the open before we all die! We’re sitting ducks out here; we’re better off inside anyway! Come on!” Even if we can’t shut out the Daleks, what with the door having been blown completely to bits, at least we can have a roof over our head to shield us from the laser-blasts above.

Strax frowns, evidently offended. “Of course I have a brain, boy, and it’s far more superior than yours!”

I roll my eyes. Okay, Strax; whatever you say…even though you’re wrong about that. You forget, I’m a Time Lord, so by definition I am more superior than you. At least, I like to think I am. Not that I tell him this, as he’d blow my brains out without a second thought.

“Jenny, take Nova to find some appropriate battle attire, quick as you can!” Vastra says once we enter the ravaged foyer. “Strax and I will fetch the weapons from the cellar.”

“Yes, ma’am!” Jenny nods before turning to me and gesturing upstairs. “Come, Nova. We must hurry!”

“As much as I want to get out of this hospital gown,” I say as I rush to follow her to one of the other spare bedrooms, “shouldn’t we be trying to help Dad? Earth could be destroyed at any moment, and us along with it! We clearly don’t have much time; in fact, we don’t have time at all, especially for this!” We don’t exactly need to dress nice to save the world; literally anything would do, even if it’s a tattered old hospital gown.

“As much as I want to help your father as well, we’re not properly dressed!” Jenny says. “Trust me, we’ll do much better with these!” She pulls out two sets of black battle clothing for each of us, both sets looking almost exactly the same.

“Whoa!” I chuckle as I lift one of the shirts. “This looks like something a ninja would wear! I am so in!” I immediately take the rest of the clothes and rush to the other end of the room and begin changing into them as Jenny does the same with her set.

“Pardon me for asking,” she says after a minute, “but exactly how much of the Time War do you know?”

I shrug. “Not much, to be honest. Dad said it was the worst war in the history of all of Space-Time. He said he fought in it and regrets every minute of it. I mean, obviously, since…you know…” I gesture toward the window at the chaos outside to prove my point. “Though he said he ended it in the most terrible way…though I don’t know if I should tell you. It’s not something he wants many people to know about. When he told me…”

It still hurts, just thinking about it. I understand why he did it, but still… All those people… All those children… They didn’t deserve it.

Jenny nods and smiles grimly. “Trust me, Nova, I know everything about it…what he did… He told us.”

The scary part is, that could be about to happen again as we speak. Dad’s ‘dream self’ could be somewhere in the city right now, and if we find him and see him about to do it…

Or, once we do, we end up being too late to stop him…

Or worse, we end up having to do it ourselves in his place…

“Do you think we can stop this?” I ask nervously, turning to Jenny. “I mean, I don’t want to stop it in the same way he did… But…what if we have to?” I turn back to the window, at the impossible war beyond. “What if that’s the only way to stop it? If we can’t simply wake him up…”

I can’t even begin to imagine it. To destroy an entire planet… To destroy my own home for the good of the universe… I just can’t do it!

I can’t believe Dad would do it, even though he did!

Sighing, Jenny approaches me. “Nova, look at me,” she says as she turns my face toward her and lays a gentle hand on my shoulder. “If there’s one thing I learned from my experiences with your father, it’s that there’s always a way, even if it’s one we haven’t thought of yet. We’ll save him and everybody else. Together.”

Her words make me smile, thinking of Hazel. “You sound just like my friend, Hazel. She used to always say, ‘If you go down, I go down with you.’ She never let me take risks alone; she always insisted that we take the risks together, and we usually did.” When I felt responsible for the unfortunate deaths of Sam’s friends, Brian and Cyrus, Hazel refused to let me take the blame alone, since she claimed she also felt responsible for their deaths because she didn’t have the courage to save them. She always insisted that we do everything together, even if it all ended in disaster.

Our words from the moment she met me at the hotel in Modern Day London ring in my mind:

‘Friends always stick together, for better or worse.’

‘Even ‘til death do us part.’

“She sounds like a very smart girl,” Jenny says with a small smile.

“Yeah,” I nod, but that’s all I say. That familiar wave of guilt washes over me again, making me think about how I broke that promise between us when I split from her in the street, hoping to outrun the Vokanari, not knowing they were after her as well.

“And she’s right,” Jenny adds. “Even if you are planning to take this risk alone, you shouldn’t. Madame Vastra, Strax, and I will help you. We’ll save everyone together.”

As much as I want their help, I can’t help but feel like I’ll be putting them in danger by allowing them to come along, exactly like how I allowed Hazel to stay with me in Modern Day London. If I’d sent her home like I should have, the Vokanari wouldn’t have targeted her. I can’t let the same thing happen to Madame Vastra, Strax, and Jenny too.

I’ve gotten plenty of people in danger without knowing it. Never again.

Though, at the same time, Jenny is right. I shouldn’t do this alone. We’re much more likely to succeed as a team. We’re unstoppable as a team.

Even despite not knowing her all that well, I automatically wrap my arms around her waist, hugging her tightly. “Thanks, Jenny.”

“You are very welcome, Nova,” she says, hugging me tightly back.

A second later, we hear a loud explosion from outside, which makes the entire house shudder.

“We should get going,” Jenny suggests, taking that as a sign. “As you said, we don’t have much time.” I nod as we rush back into the hall.

Before going downstairs, I rush into my old room and collect my phone and Gallifreyan locket, having absolutely no intention of leaving them behind.

Once I meet everyone downstairs, Vastra attempts to offer one of her large swords to me, and as much as I want to use it, I decline, telling her that the only weapon I feel comfortable using is what I was taught in my jujitsu classes. With that, we spend a few minutes coming up with a plan to sneak back to the ship, save the kidnapped people, including Dad (especially Dad), and stop the Shadow Demons for good. I tell them that I don’t care what everybody else does, as long as I be the one to save Dad, not just because I want to but because I’m pretty sure I am the only one who can. Jenny takes a minute to describe the layout of the ship, having been stuck there in over a week and having explored as an astral projection. Vastra volunteers to find and capture any and all Shadow Demons with Strax, while Jenny wakes all the kidnapped victims and gets them to safety through the portal in the wall. Then, once everyone is safely off the ship and Dad is saved, he can decide what to do with the Shadow Demons from there.

“Okay, so everyone knows what their roles are?” I ask after we finish our discussion.

“I believe so,” Vastra nods, and Jenny and Strax nod with her.

“Everyone do what you can, but Dad is my number-one priority,” I remind them. I won’t fail in saving him this time. I’ll make sure he lives, this time without a scratch.